#Watermelon Gag

[big-urchin-energy]

sometimes i'll be reading a fic that is good and then they mention a character using coconut shampoo and it takes everything in me not to stop reading. one time it was watermelon and cucumber and i am sorry i would read all the armpit licking and crotch sniffing in the world before accepting that anyone would enjoy their partner smelling like watermelon and cucumber

[spenglercore]

The pharmacists are just the sad middle men knowing that they're gonna take the heat from the sad chemists who know thier bitter (and often chiral) molecules will cure your strep throat or make your aches and pains go away, but will taste so bad you might just decide to suffer.

[hxzelwallflower]

(🍳)

@subterran-seeker asked: give the froot.

While her portions are incredibly small given the Seeker's size , she still tries to include lots of colorful ingredients for him . A strawberry poppyseed salad , mixed with blueberries , pineapples and oranges , Homemade chicken salad tossed with pecans , grapes and a little bit of celery neatly placed between two slices of wheat bread .

She also included a special , dragonfruit lemonade as it's been kind of an addiction lately this summer in terms of healthier option . There's also a slice of carrot cake for him later should he decide to partake in something sweeter .

❝ I know it's not much for you ! But I hope it still tastes okay , I kind of overdid it with the chicken salad . ❞

[sc0tters]

Needy | Luke Hughes

summary: you and Luke have been at the lake house for a few days now and what happens when Luke realises that he can’t last as long as he thought he could with the sight of you in a bikini?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, oral (m receiving), swearing.

word count: 1.35k

authors note: is it wrong of me to say that I totally forgot about this request..? no but seriously I had no clue how to write this prompt for anyone, especially Luke so I’ve just made him a horny teen lmao. hope you enjoy it!

Luke couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

It had been the longest week of his life at the lake house. Your outfits only seemed to comprise of your swimsuits and his shirts. He swore that he had been so well behaved keeping his hands off of you.

But there was something about the sight of you in some random unbuttoned baseball jersey -that you had of course stolen from Luke- as you ate some watermelon that you just helped Ellen cut up Luke felt himself break.

His swim trunks began to tighten as he watched the watermelon juice drip down your chin “you want some?” You asked as you pointed the piece of fruit in his direction.

Luke’s cheeks turned flushed as he thought you had caught on to what he was thinking “huh?” He coughed ignoring how you raised your eyebrows at him.

You smiled as the boy ran his fingers along your leg “asked if you wanted some of this,” you explained as you brought your lips back to the piece of fruit so that you could take a bite from it before you pointed it back at your boyfriend.

The hockey player had to pull you on to his lap before he even thought about eating that watermelon. With his brothers and their friends walking around the porch Luke couldn’t have any of them seeing the boner that he was currently sporting “Luke!” You squealed as you let out a laugh.

He brushed the hair out of your face as he let his fingers trail down to your chin “should I take that as a no?” A giggle fell from your lips as you took another bite of the fruity.

Luke couldn’t help it with he let out a groan “I want to eat something much more tasty,” he explained as he brought your lips to his own.

The kiss was needy as his tongue dragged over your lower lip causing you to groan “can I maybe not have to watch this?” Jack complained as he walked out to see that you had dropped what was left of your watermelon on the porch.

You pulled away from Luke as your cheeks turned warm “sorry,” you were quick to apologise as your hands wrapped around your boyfriend’s neck.

The middle Hughes brother gagged when his brother move his lips to your neck “could you not do this out here?” The forward whined causing Luke to smirk “wanna go for a ride?” The younger boy asked as you as he cocked his head.

You had finally caught on to what he was implying as your mouth formed an o shape “Luke!” You gasped as you slapped your hand over your mouth.

Thankfully for him Jack had walked away fearing that he would hear anything more “I’m not letting you fuck me on the boat.” You shook your head letting your thighs clench around your boyfriends lap.

It made him smile “my room then? He proposed letting his fingers drag along your thigh.

Luke let out a laugh “you’re so naughty,” you whined when he placed a chaste kiss on your cheek “only for you.” The boy murmured as he moved his lips to your ear “I want you right here.” He left a kiss on the shell of your ear “right now.” That was when you knew he had won.

The mental coin toss was one that you had given up on minutes ago “let’s go upstairs then.” You mumbled as you grabbed his hand trying to pull him up.

It stroked Luke’s ego like there was no tomorrow “now you’re the one who’s eager.” He teased you as the two of you made your way into the house.

The boys watched in amusement as Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders “maybe we should go for a ride?” Cole proposed as he could tell where this was clearly going to go.

It caused you to flip him off “go get some pookie!” Trevor cheered before all of the boys followed the oldest Hughes boy out of the house.

You two barely made it into his room before he pushed you onto the bed “we should probably play something.” You gasped as your boyfriends lips went to your neck, you grabbed your phone as you tried to find a playlist that could be loud enough. Whilst everyone was out of the house you still didn’t want to be caught.

The boy nodded as he fiddled with the ends of the jersey. He loved seeing you in his clothes but he loved seeing you in even less “want you to be my good little girl.” Luke cooed when he pulled at the string of your bottoms.

You groaned as you tried to get up “got something else in mind first,” you smiled as you looked up at him due to the sheer difference in height.

It was now the hockey players turn to be confused “yeah?” He mumbled as he waited for you to continue your line of speech.

Letting your fingers run over the waist band of his swim trunks you smiled as you kissed him “seems like you’ve been thinking about this for a while,” you pointed out as you motioned down to the boner that he was currently dealing with.

All that Luke could do was nod as you pulled his shorts down “want to make you feel good,” you murmured as you dropped to your knees.

As unintentional as it might have been you truly didn’t remember the last time you gave him a blow job as you two were far more fond of actual sex rather than the foreplay, it’s what happened when you were impatient college kids.

You let your tongue provide these little kitten licks that drew a loud groan from his lips “don’t tease me please,” Luke begged as his hands wrapped around your hair bringing it into a makeshift pony tail.

He loved the way your mouth took him so well, letting your tongue swirl around his cock as you took him as far as you could.

Now of course being with Luke for two years you had learnt how to really get to him and that was what made the hockey player turn into putty in your hands.

You let your nails softly run up his legs as he gasped “you’re so perfect.” He repeated that string as he increased the speed of his thrusts.

Whilst the two of you knew that the boys were outside you really didn’t think that you were going to have long.

Part of you wanted to feel bad for him because you could see know long he had been waiting to have some kind of intimacy with you and once you swore off of doing it when Jim and Ellen were in the house Luke was glad to know that the rule did not apply when the couple went grocery shopping.

Luke knew from the moment he got upstairs that he wasn’t going to last long with whatever you two ended up doing, and the gargling noise that you were making whenever thrusted deep enough was certainly not going to help his cause “fuck baby.” He mumbled as his body began to shake.

Your favourite part about getting Luke off? That moment when you get off of your knees and show him that you’ve swallowed.

It always caused him to go weak in the knees, time and time again “c’mere.” Luke smiled as he wrapped his arms around your waist before he pulled you into a kiss.

Luke after coming was always really soft, it was one of the things you loved most about him.

But the moment between you was short lived as you heard your phone go off.

quinn: is it safe for us to come back yet?

quinn: Trevor is trying to water ski without any skis.

You let out a laugh as you showed your boyfriend the messages from his older brother.

For now it seemed like Luke was going to have to wait a little bit longer for round two.

[love-takes-work]

I've seen a fair number of people interpret Rebecca Sugar's (and the Crew's) decision to put Ruby in a dress as subversive, and I want to discuss why that feels like a clear miss to me.

Every time--every single time--I've heard Rebecca Sugar talk about the queer relationships on this show, it comes with this expression of wholesomeness, and often glazed with a sheen of wistfulness, flavored something like "I needed this as a child and young person, and I didn't have it." Much of Rebecca Sugar's work to bring this wedding (and other unapologetic queer relationships) to the screen was framed as an emergency--as in, we HAVE to get this out there for those kids we used to be, because we know they're drowning.

Yes, it's funny sometimes when people make jokes about Sugar deliberately "adding more gay" or "making it gayer" as a big eff-you to the people who spoke against it, but that doesn't sit right from where I'm standing. It took so much strength (and resulted in so much battle damage) to fight that fight, yes. But from everything I can see from the interviews and conversations I've seen and read, this wasn't served up in a "ha-HA, take THAT!" kind of way. These characters having these kinds of relationships should have been a non-issue, and the fact that their very wholesome kids'-show wedding and very sweet kiss and very adorable love for each other was seen as Political when it should have been just two characters in love is so sad to me.

I've seen dozens of people suggest that Ruby is in a dress and Sapphire is in a suit "to fuck with the bigoted censors in other countries" or "to give the finger to gender roles," but again, I think it is simpler and sweeter than that. Rebecca's said that Ruby in a dress is how she feels in a dress. Celebration and exploration of feminine-coded stuff felt wrong to Rebecca for a long time, like it wasn't hers, because she wasn't really a woman and didn't want it forced on her. As a result she was robbed of all the beauty that should have been a non-issue, from what TV shows and toys she was supposed to enjoy as a kid to what kind of person she was supposed to marry and what she should wear as an adult.

Ruby never got a choice about how she looked really. Once she got to choose her presentation for a significant event, this is what she chose. It means so much more to see that than to construct it primarily as a reactionary measure, as if it would somehow foil the sinister censors in more homophobic countries (who, incidentally, are not therefore forced to show Ruby in a dress even though they tried to hide that Ruby was a "she" or that she was in a romantic relationship with another "she"; y'all, they just don't show the episode).

We see plenty of other examples of gender-role-related expectations being casually stepped on and squashed, like when they took the trouble to give traditionally masculine and traditionally feminine "clothes" to some watermelons to make the audience think there was a husband and wife watermelon only to have the wife be the warrior and the husband stay home with the child. With stuff like that, yeah, sure, maybe it's designed to make you think "oh isn't that very feminist of them!" Or maybe it's more "well why do I see this as a 'reversal' when it's just a thing that happened?" This show is full of ladyish beings who fight and have power. And as for Steven. . . .

Nobody has negative reactions onscreen (or even particularly confused reactions) when Steven wears traditionally feminine clothes, and it is (of course) also not presented as a "boy in a dress gag"--it's not supposed to be funny. When they go all in slathering Steven in literal princess tropes throughout the final act of Season 5, we understand that it's because the powerful Diamonds expect him to be Pink Diamond, not because the show is trying to girlify him or embarrass him or even make the audience think positive thoughts about boys in girls' clothes. It's more neutral than that in my interpretation: "these are literally just pieces of cloth, and while some of them have meaning, they don't inherently have a gender." I don't see this as transgressive. It's just in a world where putting on what you want to wear doesn't HAVE to be a political statement. (Though obviously it CAN be, and plenty of people wear a variety of clothes as a fuck-you to whoever they want to give the finger to. I just don't see that as happening here.)

Don't get me wrong; Rebecca Sugar certainly knew about the politics (intimately) and has lived at many of their intersections. She was not ignorant of how queer people are seen in this world. She was silenced as a bisexual person because her identity supposedly didn't matter if she was with a man and planned to be with that same man forever. She was shunted into "omg a woman did this!" categories over and over again, which she wore uneasily as a nonbinary person while accepting that part of who we are is how the world sees us. But what is it like if everything someone like her embraces is seen as a statement synonymous with "fuck you" to someone else?

She is married to a person who happens to be a man and happens to be Black. Her relationship isn't a "statement" about either of those aspects of his existence; her love is simply something that is. She is Jewish working in a society that's largely Christian. Her cultural perspective to NOT center her cartoon around Christian holidays and Christian morals; her choices to make an alternate world in this specific way is simply something that is. Her queer perspective as a nonbinary bisexual person has helped inform the Gems' radical philosophy of "what if we learned to explore and define ourselves instead of doing the 'jobs' we're assigned and being told it's our nature?" Her decision to include queer people in a broadly queer cartoon isn't designed PRIMARILY as a battle against baddies, or to drown out all the relentless straightness, or to deliciously get our queer little paws all over their kids' TV. It's an act of love.

So this is just to say that though I DO understand that sometimes subversion and intentional transgression are very necessary, I do not think that's the HEART of what's going on at this Gem wedding. We got a wholesome marriage scene between two of the most lovely little flawed-but-still-somehow-perfect characters, and I very much want to see their choices as being about them. About how Ruby feels in a dress. About how Sapphire feels about not having to always wear a dress. About them incorporating a symbol of their union into their separate lives so they can have some independence in their togetherness. About them celebrating their love by letting Steven wipe his schmaltz all over them.

There are many choices in the show that ARE carefully constructed to counter existing narratives, you know, giving the Crystal Gems' only boy all the healing, pink, flower imagery; having a single-sex species that's ladyish with all the members going by "she"; featuring many nurturing male characters who cry and cook and raise kids without mothers; pairing multiple fighty ladies with gentler guys; and importantly, intentionally loading up the show with stories, characters, and imagery any gender will find appealing despite being tasked with expectations to pander to the preteen boy demographic.

But it's very important to me that the inclusion of queer characters and the featuring of their choices be seen primarily as a loving act, and way way less of a "lol screw the bigots." I want our stories to be about us. Yes, I know it's a necessary evil that sometimes our stories are also about fighting Them. But every time I see someone say they put Ruby in the dress to "piss off the homophobes" or "stump the censors" I feel a little gross. Like the time I picked out an outfit I loved and my mom said I only dressed in such an obnoxious way to upset her, and I was baffled because my aesthetic choices, my opinions, my choices had nothing to do with her. Yet they were framed like I chose these clothes primarily to cause some kind of petty harm to her, when not only was it not true but I was not even that kind of person who would gloat over intentionally irritating someone.

The queerness of this show isn't a sneaky, underhanded act trying above all to upset a bigot or celebrate someone's homophobic fury. It lives for itself. Its existence is about itself. It's so we can see ourselves in a show, and it's so people who aren't queer or don't have those experiences can see that we exist, we participate, we want very similar things, and definitely are focusing way more about celebrating our love at our own weddings rather than relishing the thought of bigots tearing their hair out and hating us.

It's dangerous to turn every act of our love into a deliberate movement in a battle strategy when their weddings just get to be weddings.

I think there’s this idea that that [queer characters] is something that applies or should be only discussed with adults that is completely wrong. And I think when you realize that talking to kids about heteronormativity is just like air that you breathe all the time, it’s kind of amazing that that is not true in any other capacity. I think if you wait to tell kids, to tell queer youth that it matters how they feel or that they are even a person, then it’s going to be too late! You have to talk about it—you have to let it be what it gets to be for everyone. I mean, like, I think about, a lot of times I think about sort of fairy tales and Disney movies and the way that love is something that is ALWAYS discussed with children. And I think also there’s this idea that’s like, oh, we should represent, you know, queer characters that are adults, because there are adults that are queer, and you should know that’s something that is happening in the adult world, but that’s not how those films or those stories are told to children. You’re told that YOU should dream about love, about this fulfilling love that YOU’RE going to have. […] The Prince and Snow White are not like someone’s PARENTS. They’re something you want to be, that you are sort of dreaming of a future where you will find happiness. Why shouldn’t everyone have that? It’s really absurd to think that everyone shouldn’t get to have that! --Rebecca Sugar

[strawberryama]

His balls are huge. I can feel it in my soul!!

i say this too much so here we are besties

content : fem!reader x rook, ball sucking, public sex, library sex, cum swallowing, slight shoe humping mentions

18+ Minors dni!!!

“I can’t believe I’m even asking this…but do tell, how are you undoubtedly certain?”

“I just know it. I have that kind of sense, ya know?”

Cater could only roll his eyes. There was no way this conversation was happening right now. In front of his lunch no less. Thank god lunch was nearly over, cause he couldn’t eat anymore. Not after hearing about how _______ was dead certain her crush, the vice housewarden of Pomefiore, had huge breeder balls. He didn’t even want to think about that guy naked. Yet, this was the current lunch topic, as Trey was busy this afternoon.

“That’s…great. Can I please eat in peace?”

______ turned to her friend, watermelon chunk on her fork. She’d been eating this entire time. It was as if the conversation topic was just something as casual as homework answers to her. She completely unphased. ______ bit down on the watermelon, shrugging to the guy before her.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Cater groaned.

“What?!”

“Nothing. Just forget it! I’m going to the library for study hall, early.”

“I’ll come with then!”

Cater only groaned once more as he stood up, grabbing his tray. “If you’re coming, then no more nasty discussion, ‘kay? I gotta study or Riddle’ll kill me.”

“Aye, aye!”

-

-

-

______ stayed true to her word. She even was actively studying alongside of Cater. She went looking for a book though, deep in the stacks. Sometimes potions class was a pain in the butt. There were so many cryptic ingredients that she knew next to nothing about.

The only issue was every damn book that explained those ingredients was up on the highest shelf. God forbid this school have accessible shelves. No, ofc ourse, they need to have six foot and then some tall shelves.

As she reached and stretched the best she could, she felt a broad, strong mass press into her. A hand came up, gracefully pulling the book she required from the shelf.

“Here you are,” mused a voice.

______turned to look over her shoulder, and none other than Rook Hunt stood there, pressed into her. He didn’t back up at all. Rook grinned down to ______, his free hand coming to grab her waist, rooting her there.

“Madame, how good to see you!~”

“You too, Rook,” she sheepishly smiled. She could feel her cheeks burning. Fuck. He was hot. His eyes pierced right through her like an arrow.

“You know, a lil birdie told me something.”

“O-Oh yeah?”

“You have a hypothesis about a specific part of my body is what I heard at lunch.”

“I!”

“It’s okay. You’re more than welcome to find out.”

At this, ______ felt something long and hard press into her ass. She was burning up and she was growing wet. She was going to get to see the Rook Hunt’s cock and fat, fat balls. She wasdrooling at the thought.

“May I?” she asked all too eager.

“Please, go right ahead”

-

-

-

Her eyes rolled right back into her head as she sucked on his fat balls. They felt sooo good in her mouth. She drooled all over them, salivating at the heady scent and taste she consumed. ______ could barely even stifle the obscene noises that she made. Let alone, the moan that she let out about the testicle that filled her mouth.

“Good girl,” Rook drawled. His hand grabbed a fistful of ______’s hair, pulling her in further, causing her to gag.

______ was thoroughly enjoying herself now. Her pussy smeared its juice all over Rook’s boot as she rubbed her clit desperate for any friction. Spit was dribbling down her chin. She was in ecstasy. A true dream. Finally, a pair of huge, fat balls full of hot, white cum. And they were all her’s. No one else’s.

Rook threw back his head against the bookshelf, hat dropping from his head. She was good at this, far better than he’d imagined she’d be when he overheard her at lunch. And the absolute messy display of a whore before him was hotter than hell. In fact, Rook may have just found his new favorite toy. And it was better than bothering that prefect of Savanaclaw could ever be.

Rook’s balls began tightening and he bucked into ______ more fervently than before. Her hand reached up, gently teasing at the head of Rook’s fat cock, urging it to cum all over her. Her thumb circled about the slit in his cock, spreading the precum that leaked out. All the while, her hand rubbed and squeezed what she could reach, daring Rook to let go. Daring him to cum and make a mess just for her.

Through hooded, lust fulled eyes, Rook saw the devious wanton look in ______’s eyes. God, she’s a goddess, he could only think. He yanked her off of his pulsating balls, posing his cock’s head before her lips before she could whine in complaint.

“Princeese, take it nice and deep,” he commanded in a shaky breath. But ______ didn’t need any instructions. Rook barely finished his sentence, before ______ began to suck on the tip of his cock.

She moaned, teasing him, with each inch she’d swallow up. Her tight throat constricted about Rook’s sensitive cock.

He couldn’t hold out any longer. His grip on her hair tightened, burying the last few centimeters of his cock in ______’s mouth. With a deep grunt, Rook keeled in on himself, shooting hot cum down ______’s throat. Those emerald eyes rolled back as he stifled a groan, his cock scraping against her uvula.

But ______ didn’t even flinch. She drank every drop of his hot salty cum, a dazed grin forming as she pulled herself off him. ______ gently licked off any remaining cum that dared to escape before grinning up at him mischievously.

“It seems my hypothesis was correct,” she snickered, placing his fallen hat upon her head.

[nicksbestie]

Taste Test - N. Sturniolo (blurb)

Summary : the one where Nick is developing the flavors that will be sold by his brand, and he wants your opinion.

Warnings : tooth rotting fluff <3

Word Count : 700

Pairing : Nick Sturniolo/Male Reader (romantic)

A/N : divider credit to @/animatedglittergraphics-and-more. HAPPY PRIDE MY LOVES! sorry this is so short, hoping to get more nick fics up so soon!

Nick laughed as you made a fake, over exaggerated, gagging noise, handing him the sample back.

The creases around your eyes told him that you were joking, but that you didn’t really like the one he had handed you. He smiled as he passed you another option, the soft pastel color on the tube being incredibly inviting to you. You laughed with him for a few seconds before pulling the lid off of the next one, gently twisting it up a bit. The strong scent of cherry wafted around the room, the soft pink label around the cylinder between your fingers. 

“This one.” 

Nick looked at you, a little surprised. 

“Yeah? You haven’t opened the rest of them.” 

“I don’t need to. This is the one.” 

Nick had already filled two of the three spots for Space Camp’s first flavor launch, and the other two were Frosted Mint, and Juicy Watermelon. However, Nick had been going back and forth for hours about which flavor they had tested would take the third spot, and had been incapable of making the decision on his own. So, he had come home to you, asking you for your opinion.

“This one is perfect. It’s strong, and it’s sweet, it’s perfect for the third spot.” 

“I’m glad you think so. I was honestly hoping for that one, but I just couldn’t make the decision.” 

You easily applied it to your lips, putting the lid back on and slipping it back into his pocket. 

“Well, I’m happy you let me help.”

You held the side of his face in your hand, quickly pulling him into a kiss, not letting go until he did. His eyes held an expression of surprise, a twinge of lust, his mouth slightly open, clearly not expecting that from you. He took in a breath before speaking, a soft laugh leaving his lips.

“Definitely that flavor.” 

You smiled, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and using your leverage to pull him into another deep kiss, firm but short.

“Yeah? You’re confident?” 

It was Nick that initiated the next one, his hand threading into the back of your hair and catching you by surprise, this kiss much softer, breaking away quickly.

“Positive. You made that decision much easier.” 

Just a few weeks later, Nick was at photoshoots for the first variety pack to be launched by Space Camp, and while you hadn’t been able to attend them all, you had made time to be there for the one that was focused on your favorite flavor, the one you had helped him pick out. You were so endlessly proud of him and everything that he had managed to accomplish in such a short time. You stood off-camera, smiling when he grinned, his eyes landing on you. 

He had known that you were planning on coming but he had no idea when you would be there, and that turned out to be one of your favorite photos that came out of the entire day’s shoot. It was a genuine smile, his eyes off camera as he held the Wild Cherry lip balm in his hand, posed perfectly for his next picture. He looked nothing short of adorable, which was exactly what you told him when he took a break, coming over to wrap his arms around you. After your hug, he grabbed a water bottle, taking a drink out of it before walking over to his stuff and pulling out one of the variety packs, handing it to you.

“This one is for you.”

You smiled, hugging him again, opening it and pulling the cherry one out of its packaging, just as Nick was called back over to finish his photoshoot. He smiled, waving at you as he started to walk away, only for you to grab his arm and pull him back to you. 

“Wait!” 

You swiped the lip balm over your lips, kissing him quickly just like you had done the night that you’d decided on the final flavor. 

“Okay. You can go back now.” 

The blush on Nick’s cheeks stayed for the rest of the photoshoot, matching the dark red of the cherry on the pie he was holding.

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[leviaana]

Miraculous Movie Review (Rating: 4/10)

I watched the preview of the Awakening movie yesterday and really want to share my honest review. There’s going to be several things that I’ll criticize. So be warned!

Also: Spoilers!! DON’T read it if you haven’t seen it yet. This is my personal opinion. So please stay excited for it!! 🐞🪄

First of all, my overall rating for this movie is a 4/10. Just yesterday I was ready to give it a 5/10, but quickly noticed it had much more things that upset me than I initially realized when walking out of the movie.

I know it’s a pretty low rating coming from such a huge fan like myself, but that’s probably the main issue. I’m a big fan of the show, so changes in lore and characterization will be more apparent to me. For better or for worse, in this case, mostly for worse.

On the first glimpse the movie seems like a retelling - a soft reboot, if you will - of show’s origin story. The plot goes much further than that however, as it also provides a conclusion in form of a final battle with Hawkmoth as well as an identity reveal of our two main heroes.

In order to ensure the entire premise fits into a 90 minute movie, a lot of things regarding the shows lore were simplified. I say that as a neutral statement seeing as a simplification can be either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your opinion of the source material.

Personally, it left me rather unsatisfied but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start with the good things!

One of the things I really enjoyed was the animation! Seeing miraculous with such a high production value certainly felt like a cool summer breeze. While I do prefer the original character models style wise, it was still just nice to see them in this cutesie pretty style! The locals were gagging!

Ladybug and Cat Noir were especially gorgeous!

I also really enjoyed the singing. I watched the German dub and it was very neat!

Sad to say that was pretty much how long my enjoyment lasted. Everything apart from what I’ve mentioned above was… interestingly handled… to say the least. Let me elaborate.

1. The dialogue was awful!

Truly not the biggest fan of musicals but I couldn’t wait for them to start singing just in order for them to STOP TALKING 😩!

The dialogue was so awkward and stiff. All of the characters were interacting very weirdly with each other. At times it would sound like several lines of dialogue were cut from the final version, as the characters barely acknowledged each other verbally. They didn’t talk with each other, but past each other.

Moreover, every second phrase was a very cheesy one liner. “Believe in yourself.”, “Listen to your heart.”, “stronger together”. Super overdone.

The movie wanted to be inspirational so bad, it forgot to be genuine.

Some examples that I recall from memory:

“Mom, I don’t have any friends and I’m scared to go I school.”

“Just believe in yourself, Marinette.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Or.

“Tikki, I’m in love with Adrien.”

“Listen to your heart, Marinette.”

“My heart……Adrien.”

2. How did they manage to make Ladynoir banter … weird and uncomfortable to watch?

Don’t let these pretty movie shots fool you because Movie!ladynoir spent their time in a constant roasting competition that they were somehow both losing!

Not once did they manage to establish that flirty and charming atmosphere around them. No, they were draaaagging each other through filth. And maybe it could have been somewhat fun, god knows I love couples that can roast each other. If only the dialogue was better and didn’t reek of “we have no idea how young people interact”.

In a desperate attempt to make jokes, they let Chat call LB a sidekick or watermelon in every. single. scene. To say that it got annoying when the jokes didn’t land the first 10 times they were made is an understatement. No Milady, no Bugginette, no little wink or a kiss on the hand. Only watermelon and sidekick. Them talking in weird cut off phrases. With careless whisper playing in the background.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some beautiful moments. But their beauty can only ever do so much when met with weird pacing, dialogue and characterization. I’ll talk about that last part in a minute.

3. Everything was so on-the-nose.

The characters would constantly say how they feel and what they think aloud. Jeremy didn’t trust us with even an ounce of media literacy. Classic case of always telling, never showing. Not to mention the constant inspirational quoting in a desperate attempt to convey some deep message. Is this a movie script or my moms facebook page? I guess we‘ll never know.

4. Characterization: Marinette

Having Marinette be somewhat scatterbrained but overall still respected by her peers is not inspirational enough! Make her your average teenage outcast and a total loser. Dad, you’re embarrassing me in front of the cool kids!

If you enjoy that kind of characterization that’s okay! Personally, I thought it was very cliche. It just.. didn’t do anything for her as a character. Having her start off at a much „lower” point in life, with almost no support system, only makes her coming of age journey to eventually become a self accepting confident heroine take longer. Seeing as the movie is only 90 minutes, the moment we see her “shine” is when it’s all almost over.

5. Ladybug …?

Did I mention Ladybug doesn’t use her lucky charm? Not. once. No crazy plans to show that she’s smart and creative. Just a pretty girl swinging around.

6. Adrien

I have a bit more to criticize about the characterization of Movie!Adrien.

The longer I think about it, the more it becomes apparent that they really didn’t know how to write Adrien. His personality appears inconsistent, almost like they were trying to fit him in too many roles at once. He is either extremely closed off and mysterious (even towards his friends), a comic relief character, bathing in self pity or just outright cocky. Those hoping to see his politeness and selflessness will be disappointed. This character only is ever shown to be self centered. A perfect example is how he *didn’t do anything* to be called worthy of the Black Cat Miraculous. He was just one of the „chosen ones“. When the Adrien from the series sacrificed his own freedom to help Master Fu.

Another example is how this Adrien doesn’t really see anything in Marinette. He called her strange in their first interaction and never really lost a single thought on her throughout the rest of the series. No common praises, no support, just awkwardness and not the wholesome kind. In fact, I would argue Marinette and Adrien aren’t even friends in the movie, the only interaction to suggest otherwise was slammed as a 5 second scene in a 2 minute montage.

Even if you were to suggest their bond was formed off screen. We don’t really see it ever take root. He even turned down her gift and invitation to go to the ball with her. Yes, you guessed correctly. It was because he was busy bathing in self pity over being rejected by Ladybug. Yikes.

To sum it up, this Adrien really doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Ever. They massacred my boy.

7. Chat Noir

His charming smugness as Chat Noir crossed the fine line that turned to arrogance.

Considering how Adrien was characterized, that comes as no surprise.

As mentioned in my criticism towards the dialogue and the Ladynoir dynamic, this Cat is often seen discrediting LB with unfunny jokes. The moment you see him actually appreciate Ladybug, open up to her and Woo her, it’s all overshadowed by his entitlement to her affection.

Some may argue that we see traces of such attitude in the show as well. However, in a series, Chat Noir has many redeeming qualities as well as time to grow, change and move past these flaws. And boy, move past these flaws he did. In the movie, it’s all you get. Take it or leave it.

In one scene, he even lets her think he was hurt by an Akuma in order to catch her worrying about him. It was just a short scene and most people would look past it, but I think it’s these small details that really show how these movie characters tick in comparison to the series.

8. Akumas/Hawkmoth

Just a small detail that kind of ended up taking away the enjoyment of all action scenes is how the Akumas in the movie do not have a motive. There’s just some random people that you don’t care about before their akumatization and that you won’t care about after.

Hawkmoth doesn’t make a deal with them, ask for ladybug and chat noirs miraculous in exchange for his powers, none of that.

He just makes them evil and they do evil things for shits and giggles. The movies premise doesn’t even suggest he needs the miraculous. He just needs to get close enough to Ladybug and Chat Noir to steal Tikki and Plagg.

9. The Ending

I just wanted to dip into that ending real quick. In the movie, Gabriel is redeemed when he finds out about Chat Noir being Adrien. He apologizes to him and they make up. The scene surely will make people emotional, but from my perspective it was all rather predictable.

Whether or not Gabe was worthy of a redemption in the movie is a topic to discuss on its own. Personally, I was okay with it.

What I found more interesting however was…

10. The reveal

This is the moment most people have been waiting and yearning for. And I may sound a bit smug when I say that the movie served a good purpose to show us that a fast reveal would have never ever been satisfying!

It was super underwhelming because - of course it was!

Marinette and Adrien barely had a connection! For all we know they could have been total strangers and their reaction to each other’s identity wouldn’t have been any different than what we saw in the movie.

We never saw Marichat or Ladrien interact either. So that certainly lead to a less explored dynamics. Cue unsatisfying reveal.

They really tried to make it this big emotional final moment, but really? We just saw Ladybug and Chat Noir lean in for a kiss without their masks. Like in a new fit. Nothing really groundbreaking came out of it.

Any fake reveal in the show was better than that and I mean it with every fiber of my being.

And don’t even get me started on how Adrien only ever noticed Marinette when she revealed to be Ladybug. It’s just not it.

Final thoughts.

There’s sooo many more things that I could elaborate on but I think for now I’ve said enough to support my rather poor rating of the movie.

In my opinion, the movie relies too much on people enjoying the source material while trying to be its own thing. It risks leaving everyone unsatisfied.

Those who watch the movie as a stand-alone are met with weird dialogue as well as plot, characters and dynamics that aren’t at all fleshed out.

Meanwhile those who watch the movie because they like the show will be inevitably comparing the movie to its far superior source material.

[prankprincess123]

The main difference between kids toothpaste and regular toothpaste is the kids stuff doesn't usually have fluoride, which helps strengthen your teeth and keep them clean, or if it does have fluoride it doesn't have a lot, because it isn't great for the digestive system in the amounts that your teeth need and little kids don't yet know to spit out the toothpaste.

The only one I've found is HiSmile which in most places you have to order online, but they do have lots of fun flavors - even more than kids toothpaste usually has. I think I started getting ads for that brand because I was trying to figure out which mainstream toothpaste brand it was that made cinnamon toothpaste (and it was amazing) only to find out that it was only a temporary promotion.

Anyone know whare I can get adult toothpaste that's not mint?

[a-living-canvas]

CW : Female Whumper🐑❤️

Autumn Boy

"Does it hurt?"

Whumper asked, not really caring. She had just punctured Whumpee's back with a few needles, and the poor thing was kneeling on the floor while crying.

Her eyes were empty as she looked at Whumpee. Something about it was so eerie that Whumpee couldn't look at her eyes for so long.

"Answer,"

She gripped Whumpee's chin tightly, tipping his head up to face her. "Me."

Whumpee gulped down nervously, he whimpered as Whumper pinched his bottom lip. "H-hurt..! Hurt…have mercy…"

Whumper hummed, she let go of his chin before standing up straight again. She walked to Whumpee's bed, taking his whale plushie before grabbing a scissor.

Whumpee watched her with a sudden wave of panic pulled on his heartstring. "W-what…are you doing?"

She approached Whumpee again, sitting on the floor in front of him as she started cutting the fabric. Starting with the tail.

Click! Click!

Whumpee's eyes widened, tears running down his face for a million times today . "No! No! Please don't do this!"

He tugged on the chain around his wrists  that were connected to the wall hardly, desperately. But Whumper acted as if it was just a normal day for her. 

"Please!!!"

Whumpee plead again, but it fell on deaf ears. Whumper wouldn't stop cutting, and the cotton inside the plushie now scattered around the floor.

"Stop! Stop!"

"Be quiet…"

Whumper said in an exasperated tone. She's so tired. She wanted to sleep after this. She grabbed a fistful of the cotton and stuffed it into Whumpee's mouth.

"Mmh—"

"There. Quiet now."

She kept pushing and stuffing and prodding it further until Whumpee nearly gagged because of it. He whimpered pitifully and Whumper felt a little better on that day.

"Good boy."

She ruffled Whumpee's hair before standing up, walking out of the basement. The scissor and the torn fabric were left on the floor, and Whumpee mourned for its lost.

~

@nothing-but-glitter-and-lashes @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @failgiao891 @valravnthefrenchie @jennyyy007 @heyyitsworld @risk606 @theforeverdyingperson @possumhoe

@electrons2006♡

[oddeyes588]

So, it's not like I've posted ANYTHING regarding this, but add Oshi no Ko to the list of things I'm obsessed with. Surprise surprise, and now I have to ramble about SOMETHING in it. ANYTHING.

So I'm gonna ramble about something that came up with friends in discord.

Anybody ever think about how much more immensely tragic Gorou's death is when you think about how it must have seemed from Ai's perspective?

OnK speeds through this part of the story pretty quickly, shooting from 20 weeks to 40 weeks into Ai's pregnancy while only showing us a glimpse of what happens during this period, such as seeing Ai being accompanied by Gorou when she goes on a walk, with an inner monologue from Gorou about how he's promised to make sure her kids are delivered safely.

As such, we don't really have much insight into what their relationship or dynamic was like, but it's clear that at the very least, they got along well. Ultimately, the story isn't about this part of her life, and whatever happens here she ultimately moves past along with her kids. HOWEVER! We can reasonably assume that they had a friendly relationship, because...

Ai very specifically wanted him to be there. Ai Hoshino, a 16-year-old girl pregnant with twins, who has been failed by the majority of the adults in her life... goes "pout pout, it has to be you!" when he mentions that other doctors will be available if he isn't.

She implicitly asks him, the doctor who's sworn to make sure she has a healthy delivery and has been with her every step of the way since she got here, to be there. Remember, Ai is 16 here. She's all smiles, but as we know, she was just as much of a human being as everyone else. She is 16 and pregnant with TWINS. It's going to be the equivalent of pushing a watermelon through a bagel, TWICE. There's no way that she wasn't nervous underneath her perfectly-practiced smile.

The show makes a gag about Gorou going silent when asked what he would do if Ai asked him to date her, but let's be clear here, Gorou was by all means a very responsible and compassionate adult. He was obsessed with idols, specifically Ai, but he treats her with respect and remains professional about the whole thing, and we can be sure that he would've kept her secret. No matter what gags are made because of his idol obsession and the time he spent with Sarina, I think we can comfortably say that when push comes to shove, Gorou Amemiya tries to do the right thing at the end of the day.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is... in this moment, Gorou was a trusted adult, someone who Ai felt comfortable around and therefore wanted to have there during this moment of immense stress.

...so imagine how it must have felt then, when she went into labor. OnK is pretty tasteful concerning what parts of that process is shown, giving us just a brief shot of her screaming her lungs out while surrounded by nurses... but think about it.

The person she implicitly wanted there at that moment to ensure she gives birth safely... left and never came back.

Just another person added to the pile of adults who abandoned her when she needed them, right? The fact that Ruby and Aqua were born safely must have been the only relief she had that night... but Gorou's body wasn't discovered at that time. By all means, he had just left the hospital and went missing without a word, and that's where the tragedy gets even worse.

Because the only reason Gorou wasn't there, was because he was dying. He chased after a person who was stalking Ai, someone who put her family in danger, and was killed. And what were his dying thoughts?

That he needs to get back. That he made a promise. That he has to make sure her kids are born safely.

Ultimately she moves past this. Her kids are born safely, and in the end it's not like adults failing her has been uncommon throughout her life. But god, it's hard not to think about how she must've felt in that moment, going through the agony and terror of literal childbirth, waiting and waiting for this one adult who promised to support her, for hours and hours... and he just never shows up.

Though I guess in one sense, he does show up... just not in a way anybody could've expected.

[chamiryokuroi]

#I just know Bernard is gagging in the bg#absolutely disgusting#how can you do this culinary atrocity in front of him Tim

yes this was my vision exactly. Bernard is just like 'babe why are you like this.........' 😭

“First was the microwave analyzing the chemical composition of my leftovers”

“Bern listen-”

“Then there was that thing you dare call a stove”

“I already ordered a normal one just-”

“And now this? Eating cereal out of a carved watermelon? Are you trying to kill me Timothy? Is that what you want?”

“😔”

[dearmura]

HERE'S ME ASKING!! ok have u though abt bf!riki x reader where they are buying stuff at the supermarket and it ends up in ✨️ chaos ✨️

"no riki omg this soap is literally the best!!"

"ew it smells like trash, we're buying this one!!"

"pls i hate u"

just something rlly fluffy/crack <3

behave

☆ cw. some cursing, they bicker/threaten each other A LOT, period jokes, reader is referred to using she/her pronouns, not proofread

☆ pairings. bf! riki × fem! reader

☆ genre. fluff, crack, established relationship

☆ author's note: sort of a drabble ig???

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

with a ring of the bell just above the door, you sigh to yourself, hearing feet shuffle just behind you. swiftly turning around before you fully enter the store, you give the boy a stern look

"ki, I swear to God, if you don't behave yourself I'll literally force you into that child compartment at the front of the shopping cart. don't, I repeat DON'T, try anything" you warn, pointing an accusing finger at the boy who only gives you a feigned innocent expression you see right through. someone on the outside looking in would think your attitude towards the boy would only resemble a mom scolding her son when you were in fact his girlfriend who desperately wanted to shop without being publicly embarrassed by the boy's shenanigans

slumping his shoulders in defeat, the boy nods solelmy, paralleling a child after being scolded. sticking to your side like a wad of gum, you two continue on your merry way. though, knowing the boy, you knew this promise would be broken within 5 minutes tops. you even consider timing it but decide against it, knowing it would only encourage the boy further

"oooo angel angel, look at how big this watermelon is" he points with wide eyes like a child on Christmas morning, giving you an expectant look which you only laugh at

"ya, ki, if you put salt on that watermelon I'm actually disowning you" you tease as he places it in the cart, only resulting in him blowing a raspberry in your direction. you playfully hit his shoulder, and he dramatically gasps, falling onto the floor like he was in a telenovela

"riki, I swear to God, get up from there! you're already embarrassing us" you whisper shout, hiding your amusement at his pure stupidity

he fakes a cry, holding the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically as he takes little peeks to see if you're still looking, making you roll your eyes

"how could you. your boyfriend is dying here and you call me an embarrassment" he scolds, gasping dramatically once more, sticking out his tongue to fake his death. pointing to the shelves right above him, you almost burst into a fit of laughter at what you see, a whole section filled to the absolutely brim with kuromi bandaids along with other sanrio characters. sighing in feigned annoyance, you grab a box, successfully 'healing' the boy enough to bring him back up to his feet

"you're a pain in the ass, you know that?"

"and you haven't broken up with me yet. who's the real dummy now?" he states innocently, blowing a kiss in your direction before scanning the aisles once more, leaving you absolutely dumbfounded

✧

"ooo ki smell this soap, it's so good" you take a whiff with a sigh, in heaven by the soothing smell. the boy approaches you and takes a sniff of his own only to fake a gag

"that smells like ass" he says plugging his nose, swatting the air with a grimace dramatically, making you roll your eyes

"how would you know what that smells like" you retort, making him click his tongue at your attitude. you only wink and blow him a kiss just as he did you. you knew he secretly found your attitude insanely attractive so you only smile to yourself when you see him go silent

the boy was wrapped around your finger and he knew it

✧

"oh my gosh!! look look! it's a little coffee filter for dolls!! how cute~" he coos at a package of bright pink "coffee filters." when you finally approach him and see what he's referring to, you laugh, caressing the boy's cheek as you place a gentle kiss on his lips at his pure innocence

"oh my sweet, pretty boy those are menstrual cups" you coo at him like a child, throwing your head back in amusement when his smile drops and eyes widen at your words, a blush creeping up on his cheeks from embarrassment

"y-you mean that you put that up your..." he pauses in pure shock, looking like he's seen a ghost, only making you laugh more. dramatically holding you in fear, he takes your hand to cover his eyes, terrified of the feminine products before him. about to take one to restock for yourself, he holds your arm back, shaking his head quickly

"would you like me to bleed all over our bed next month" you say with a smile way too sweet for your words. suddenly switching up at your words, he searches the aisle

"do you prefer pads, tampons, cups..." he asks with a scared smile

✧

grocery list in hand, you scan the shelves searching for items as you check off ones already in the cart. switching places with the boy so you could actually get stuff done, he was now in charge of rolling the cart (essentially just sitting there and looking pretty cuz he wasn't gonna help anyways)

you knew immediately he would take advantage of the power, which he did. walking peacefully, trying to go about your day, you feel a sudden pain in your calf, making you hiss in pain. looking back at the culprit, you see a smiley riki holding the cart innocently as if he didn't just ram the cart into your leg

scoffing, you slip your sandal off of your foot and hold it up in the air before you start walking toward the boy

"you're really gonna get it now, nishimura"

he was lucky you loved him

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Can you write xavier and reader being academic rivals and reader getting on her knees for him in a classroom or something? thankk you

I've gotten a lot of acedemic rivals/enemy tropes, but I love this one! 😏

Warnings: smut, oral (m receiving), soft degrading and dirty talk

my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time

—

Some evenings are wilder than others at Nevermore Academy, but you never thought you would end up on your knees in the Nightshades library with your academic rival’s cock in your mouth. You were going to regret this in the morning — or in ten minutes —, but right now it was so good.

Xavier was all moans above you, his abdomen flexing while you bobbed your head up and down. One hand was in your hair, guiding your pace while his head was thrown back in pleasure, and his other was resting against the bookshelf wall.

‘’Fuck, your mouth feels so goo—’’ Xavier groaned, fingers crisping as his tip hit the back of your throat.

You wanted to say something snarky because that was a fucking compliment coming from Xavier Thorpe’s mouth, but yours was too full to speak.

His groans and moans, accompanied by the wet mouth noises were all you could hear in the library. The other members of the Nightshades’ jaws would drop if they were to walk in on you. And if anyone dared tell, no one would believe them.

Xavier pushed you deeper on his cock and you gagged around him, spit spilling out the sides of your mouth until it became too much.

You pulled back and coughed, glaring at the boy above you. ‘’You want me to fucking die?’’

Xavier rolled his eyes. ‘’I didn’t push that hard.’’

‘’If I die choking on your cock, I won’t be there to suck it anymore. Keep that in mind, Mr. Elite Snob.’’

He hummed and his cock twitched before your eyes, begging to be back in your mouth. ‘’Now be a good girl and shut it. I’m gonna lose my boner if you keep talking.’’

You would be lying if you said his degrading words didn’t make your core tighten. Who knew the top grades student had a dirty mouth?

Xavier pushed his tip against your lips, but you didn’t open. Instead of giving him what he wanted, you gave a few kitten licks to his throbbing head, licking up his pre-cum that was dripping. He moaned loudly, the sound echoing in the library, and reached to grip at something on the bookshelf, but ended up making a few books fall.

‘’Don’t tell me what to do.’’

—

Wednesday taglist: @sofiaadler @partyfly @hoodforcalum @thelilacmourning @ellessecretobsession @su-alteza-emia @achoo—uu @not-leaprvt @xaviersgf @peterparkerdilf @roadworkaheadisurehopeitdoes @dragon-chica @coldtacozinepanda @wrldofsage @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @capriaura @officialsaturn @babyfiva @maevaomizzolo @kelloggs-world @whosljt @ajpanda181 @belovedrey @emerycrt @elizabitchsshit @heaven-hiding @lilithlikestoread @est-liber @moonisu @dessxoxsworld @parker-nite @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n  @poppet05  @ell0ra-br3kk3r  @rhaenyraswife  @teaganthemorningstar   @aphex2winn @moompie   @ifevilwhyhot   @oliviah-25 @spenglerslime @wetwilliam02 @yellowcupcakes @haileyismoo  @theyslayallday @wrldofsage

[airbendertendou]

NOTHING TO SEE! ♥︎ saiki kusuo

synopsis : you need to meet your tutor-of-sorts, but bring along your babysitting duties

cw : soichi , knowing junji ito lore isnt needed! , possibly ooc , mention of eating scorpions! , lowercase intended , name used instead of yn

“get down from there right now!” a clatter is heard as a bundle of nails fall to the floor. letting out a sigh, you pinch the bridge of your nose before looking up. “i don’t have time for this today, soichi. are you coming with me or not?”

pink hair is easy enough to spot as your grip on the eleven year old’s wrist tightens. soichi giggles to himself, muttering things you’re glad you don’t hear. you grit your teeth, smiling tensely at your classmate. “i’m so sorry about this.”

as always, saiki kusuo stays silent. he looks from you to the child attached to your arm and blinks. you make soichi sit beside the wall, scooting into the booth beside him as you place your bag on the floor.

you clear your throat, “last minute babysitting duties. his brother is studying for college, so i’m their last resort.” you watch soichi from the corner of your eye — he’s making faces on the window at everyone who passes by. “he listens… fairly well.”

the table goes silent as you bring your school books out. saiki glances at the child again, blinking at soichi's glare. a waitress stops by your table, flinching at every gag soichi releases — he's not a fan of sweets. you smile awkwardly again, letting out a small laugh and apologizing profousely.

"why do i go out in public with you."

as always, you tend to speak your thoughts. saiki flinches at the echo, watching as you scowl at soichi. the kid grins, mouth full of nails as he wiggles in his seat. you sigh, looking back to saiki, "i'm surprised your other friends aren't here. they usually go wherever you go."

"i managed to ditch them." saiki reads through his text book, not meeting your gaze. "for now. they'll probably show up soon."

a squeaking sound interrupts the silence. soichi is taking his pointer finger and dragging it harshly down the window. when he sees both of your eyes on him, he grins. "hehehehe—"

"soichi," you frown, but keep your voice soft, "remember your promise?"

the boy's smile falls, eyes squinting as he pouts. "behave and i'll get a treat."

"not just a treat!" you dig through your bag again, the crinkle of a wrapper hitting saiki's ears. soichi sits up straight, eyes widening and brightening. "your favorite treat."

a lollipop is in your hand, the orange color gleaming in the lights. saiki doesn't hide his disgust at the sight of it ; soichi can't hide his excitement. there's a scorpion in the candy, seemingly still twitching around the stick.

saiki takes a sip of his drink, "disgusting."

soichi hisses at the pink haired boy, “i’ll curse you! may you always find watermelon seeds in your soup!” curling against you cutely, he bats his widened eyes, looking at the lollipop before back at you. "how nice of you to bring me a treat, name!"

"an hour or two of quiet, that's all i ask."

the eleven year old agrees, seemingly purring as he lays his head on your shoulder. you let out a sigh, relaxing at his subdued state. you grin saiki's way, "it's safe to study now! so, i'm confused on this part—"

saiki is in disbelief of what he hears. the child may be calm, but his mind is running and yelling, going in circles with topics. you pop up sometimes — soichi's nicest thoughts are always about you. soichi narrows his eyes at the pink boy — there's a slew of threats and curses heading his way.

"he listens to me the most," you speak up. saiki looks to you and your gentle, caring smile. "that's why his family hired me. i just think i'm nice and he appreciates it."

that could be true. it was shown in your toughts and soichi's. your kindess and the way you listened to the boy ; the way he melted into your side and trusted you.

it made saiki kusuo feel a little warmer than usual.

——♥︎—— soichi is so so silly <3 i hope i got his character close to what it is ]: based on me watching my nephew <<3

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[ofallthingsnasty]

pairing: arlong x f!reader tags: darkfic, noncon, facefucking, throatpie, fat reader, dead dove: do not eat, minors dni, one dick arlong word count: 1.4k

prompt: “You think your father would still love you if he knew.” from this list, it just screamed Arlong. Feel free to send a character and a prompt from that list, if you want! Enjoy.

Arlong can be almost sweet behind closed doors, especially when you kneel in front of him, with his cock deep down your throat.

Webbed fingers caress the top of your head, a sign that you’re doing your job well. If you didn’t, he’d make sure to show you - and the countless times he slapped your face with either his dick or an open hand have made you keenly aware of what is to his liking and what isn’t. You lean into his touch and ease him deeper into you, making sure to flutter your eyes at his own. Nothing but a malicious smile greets you, sharp teeth glinting in the light. Arlong loves seeing your absolutely ruined face - the more spit and tears and debauchery, the better. Sometimes he has you apply makeup only to watch it spill over your skin, creams and powders smeared by sheer force and your mixed bodily fluids.

There is nothing of that on your face today, yet he seems satisfied with your efforts, that small spark of amusement that you’ve come to chase dancing in his eyes. It’s the only thing saving you from another night as his footstool or, even worse, from having to serve alcohol to his crew. Simply keeping your throat relaxed, spilling some tears and fighting the urge to puke all over his sandals is a million times better than kicks or sleeping on the floor. Even if it means having to endure one of his other quirks - the eternal monologues. He likes to hear himself talk. As if on cue, Arlong sighs and leans back when you gag up another wad of saliva around his cock, taking one hand from your head to scratch his neck leisurely. 

“Smart woman”, he says and sounds utterly pleased with himself. You try to steel yourself for another round of escalating insults. “You saw how much better we are than you and immediately knew to submit.” Ah, his favorite topic. He never fucks you without mentioning how inferior you are to him, never fucks you without talking himself into a frenzy about it. His asinine ramblings are just as much a part of defiling you as is treating you like a flesh toy and they leave you with hot ears and teary eyes every time. He knows how to twist his words just enough to make them hurt, no matter how often he re-uses his insults, recycles his phrases - they just find a way to worm themselves into your brain. “I wish all humans were as perceptive as you, really.”

You don’t acknowledge him as you focus on softening your throat and catching breaths where you can. If you lose your pace now, get slower or don’t take him as deep, that terrifying hand is sure to remind you, even if he appears to be preoccupied with his talking. It’s all an act. A part of the same old dance and song. 

“Such an obedient little whore”, he sighs above you, then he chuckles to himself. “Well, not so little, hm?”

You’re too focused on breathing to let that comment bother you - his crew is worse, groping and whistling at you whenever they catch a glimpse of you, beckoning you over, daring you to sit on their laps until your ass spills over. You’ve long since lost your name, being called their little cow instead.

“But that’s alright, that’s why I like you. Don’t break so easily, do you?” Giant hands clasp the sides of your head until you feel like your temples are about to pop. Maybe your brains will simply burst out like the flesh of an overly ripe watermelon one of these days and it will all be over. Who knows with this tyrant; who knows if you’ll even see tomorrow? It’s such a bleak thought, but this is your existence now. Had been your fate ever since you came up short for the ridiculous taxes Arlong ordered from your people - in a way, you should be grateful that he didn’t shoot you in front of your village and most importantly, your poor, old father. Better this and a waning sliver of hope than a headstone, you figure. “Hold still, sow”, he breathes out, just the tiniest bit labored. Good, you think, entirely numb and obey. It means he’s close and you’ll probably be done for the day in a matter of minutes. Maybe you’ll even be allowed a shower later. 

It’s not necessarily easier when he moves instead of you - because he doesn’t just fuck your face, he brutalizes it. It might be just a bit less exhausting for the muscles of your neck and shoulders, but the way he crams himself as deep as possible while setting a pace faster you could ever bop your head has you counting every second, clinging onto consciousness with wide eyes and snot bubbling out of your nose. The sounds are obscene. Between the gurgling and glugging of your throat and the sharp slapping of his balls as they hit your chin with a heft you’ll feel for the rest of the night, you feel more like an animal than ever. He never holds back, no matter how many times he insists that you’re considerably weaker than him, how delicate you are despite your softness. You are simply cattle to him, something he owns and does with as he pleases. And you better take it.

“You think your father would still love you if he knew? Old man is probably sitting at home, twiddling his thumbs while I fuck his precious daughter’s mouth and defile her cow tits”, he rasps out eyes boring into yours. Arlong always gets the nastiest when he’s chasing his orgasm and mentioning your father is just as vile as it gets. You gag around him but don’t look away, not even as the picture of your dad doing just that springs into your head.“Or maybe he realizes that this is for the best? That this is the place you belong?”

Arlong tips his head back and delivers a particularly brutal thrust to your face. Your hand flies up to at least give yourself the illusion of purchase but it gets shaken off his rapidly moving thigh. The only thing that isn’t being rattled is your skull, still framed by his hands.

“Underneath me, used by me, like the despicable sow you are. Maybe I’ll fuck some little bastards into you one day. You like the thought of that, do you? You live to serve, don’t you?” 

He wheezes that last sentence out, the thought clearly arousing to him. It’s one of his favorites - claiming every last part of you, your womb included. And with the way he keeps fucking you almost every day, it won’t be too long until it becomes reality. “I should fill you up so full you can barely walk and then parade you into town. Show peepaw his grandkids. Maybe I’ll let them play with him when they’re old enough. See if he survives.”

It’s too much. The sheer force, the lack of air, the fluids running out of every orifice, but worst of all, the way he keeps talking about your father. The face you make must be ugly and desperate because he simply laughs, full-bellied and nasty. It’s all he needs to take him over the edge. Arlong crushes your nose against his coarse pubes, against his stomach as he groans. Not even a second passes and his cock is moving in your throat, filling you with loads of hot, terribly slimy cum. It feels as though he’s directly in your stomach, even though that is entirely impossible. It takes everything in you not to struggle away from the iron grip on your head, even as your esophagus starts to jolt and as another wave of tears spills over. He basks in the moment above you, jaw slack and eyes closed for once - only when you can’t help the ugly sobs that are building up between the bouts gagging, he finally pulls out. A disgusting mix of saliva, mucus and semen follows in an amount that can only be described as ungodly. Arlong laughs at the way you retch it all out, a little breathless, but still not done with you. In the very last act of domination, he uses his softening cock to spread the abysmal-smelling fluids all over your face and hair as you can only cry, entirely without shame. He loves that, too.

And it’s the only time you’ll ever hear him utter something akin to tender. “Good girl.”

Really, Arlong can be almost sweet behind closed doors. Almost.