#Was supposed to be a then vs. now thing but it took too long

[numbuh24insane]

Bowser vs Eggman: The Aftermath, Sonic's Realization

Restoration HQ

The Restoration's base hummed with quiet industry, a symphony of activity unfolding in the sprawling headquarters. Engineers tinkered with machines, repairing damaged equipment salvaged from the frontlines of battles past. Analysts poured over maps and reports, ensuring the Restoration could respond to any crisis at a moment’s notice. Volunteers bustled through the corridors, distributing supplies to be shipped to remote villages still recovering from the scars left by Eggman’s takeover.

Near the central operations hub, Tails oversaw a group of technicians calibrating a new detection system, his twin tails flicking with excitement as he explained the upgrades. In another corner, Belle hummed a song as she worked on long overdue repairs, her focus undeterred by the chatter of Jewel's logistical assistants organizing supply runs. The day was typical, steady, and predictable. Something that was becoming more and more common in this fantastical world.

Sonic leaned against a safety rail on the upper balcony overlooking the main floor, his arms crossed casually as he took in the scene. Below, a pair of members chuckled at the antics of Rough and Tumble on a monitor. The bumbling skunk duo had tried robbing a supply caravan earlier that week, only to be thwarted by Whisper and Tangle.

"You know," Sonic idly started as Amy came up behind him, "This place runs like a well-oiled machine. Kinda weird seeing it so . . . calm."

Amy smiled. "It’s what we wanted, right? To rebuild without having to fend off badniks every day."

"Yeah, I guess." He tapped a foot idly against the ground. "Just feels like it’s been too quiet. The biggest threats these days are Rough and Tumble making a mess of some random store or Clutch trying to pull off another shady deal. Hardly the kind of thing that gets my blood pumping."

"Maybe that’s a good thing," Amy said, looking at him. "We’re not supposed to need you to be the hero all the time, Sonic. The Restoration can handle the small stuff."

“And I’m here to clean up the big stuff . . . but nothing big has happened in months. I can’t even remember the last time Eggman pulled one of his ‘I’m-gonna-conquer-the-world’ stunts. Man, I just can’t shake the feeling that something big is going to happen, that it’s just right around the corner. If that makes sense.”

"It does," Amy admitted, her tone thoughtful. "I mean, after everything with Starfall Islands, I thought we’d have a new crisis by now. But Eggman’s been completely off the radar."

"Maybe he’s finally throwing in the towel," Sonic said, tilting his head back and gazing at the ceiling. "You know, after losing Sage . . . I think that hit him harder than he’d ever admit. She was like a daughter to him."

Amy frowned, taking in this new information. "You really think that’s enough to stop him? Eggman’s a lot of things, but giving up isn’t one of them. If anything, he’s probably using this quiet time to build something even more dangerous."

"Maybe," Sonic said, tapping his chin in thought. "Or maybe he’s finally realized there’s more to life than building giant ego-machines. I like to think losing Sage might’ve made him . . . rethink things."

Amy glanced at him, her expression softening. "You always see the best in people, even someone like Eggman. But I don’t think he’ll ever stop being Eggman. He’s always scheming, Sonic. Always."

Sonic smirked, the corner of his mouth curling as he turned to face her. "Well, if he is planning something, we’ll handle it. Like always." He tapped the rail. "But for now? I’m gonna enjoy the peace. Even if it is a bit boring."

Before Sonic and Amy could exchange another word, the lights flickered ominously across the Restoration’s base. A sharp crackle of static blared through the speakers, drawing everyone’s attention. The monitors scattered throughout the facility turned black for a brief moment before the familiar crimson insignia of the Eggman Empire appeared with the text ‘Please Stand by’.

The room erupted in confusion and alarm. Restoration workers scrambled to consoles, engineers fumbled with emergency protocols, and Tails bolted to the main control panel, barking orders to the tech team. Above it all, Sonic remained leaning against the rail, his grin widening.

"Well, well," He said with an amused chuckle. "Speak of the devil. Let’s see what ol’ Egg for brains has been plotting!" He could feel that surge of excitement and adventure rise up within him.

"If you are seeing this," Eggman began, his tone uncharacteristically serious, “Then I am dead."

A stunned silence fell over the room. Even Sonic’s grin faltered for a moment, replaced by a raised eyebrow of genuine surprise. Amy’s eyes widened before shaking her head with disbelief.

Eggman continued, his image flickering as though the message were pre-recorded. "Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. 'Is this some sort of trick?' Let me assure you, if this message is playing, then I have shuffled off this mortal coil.”

He paused dramatically, letting the words sink in before throwing his arms out in mock despair. "Tragic, isn’t it? The world has lost its greatest genius! A monumental loss for science, for civilization, for Mobius itself! But don’t mourn me too much! I’m sure my end was spectacularly dramatic!" The scientist laughed, twirling his mustache.

Eggman continued, his tone shifting to a speculative drawl. "Speaking of which, I’m curious. What could possibly have done me in? Was it one of my magnificent plans going down in flames? Did one of my creations rebel and finally catch me off guard? Or . . . " He grinned, pointing straight at the camera. ". . . did you finally do it, Sonic?" He leaned back stroking his chin as he considered the possibility,”If so, I do wonder what prompted you to do it. I had to have had a truly devilish marvel of a scheme to get you to finally cross that line.”

Eggman suddenly retracted, waving his hand dismissively. “Ah, who am I kidding? You’d never do it. No, no, no you’re too soft. Always playing hero, always keeping me alive so we can do this little dance forever. Ohohoho!”

Amy crossed her arms, annoyed.. “He’s still insufferable as always.”

Eggman wiped a tear from his eye before continuing his spiel, “But fear not Sonic, even if I’m gone you’ll still have quite the foe on your hands! Should Metal Sonic still be operational, and really, why wouldn’t he be? I built him to perfection. Then my empire is in capable hands. Metal will carry my legacy, and he will succeed where I could not. He will destroy you, Sonic. Oh yes, your days are numbered. Even now, I’m sure he’s already formulating the best way to turn you into a smoldering pile of ash! How proud I am!”

The screen glitched momentarily, then Eggman continued, his expression softening into a smug grin. “Of course, I can’t leave without a personal touch. I’ve prepared special messages for each of you. Think of them as parting gifts from beyond the grave! They should be arriving . . . oh, about now.”

As the video cut off, the Eggman Empire logo pulsed on the screens, and then, one by one, the Restoration’s systems began rebooting. Almost immediately, individual monitors across the room displayed specific names: Sonic, Belle, Amy, Tails, and others.

“He can’t be dead, can he?” Belle questioned, her wooden body rigid and eyes wide with disbelief. She was shaking, almost to the point of breaking. The poor puppet jumped as Tails placed his hand upon her back and got her to calm down.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Sonic uttered out, for once he didn’t have his casual smile upon his face. The wind seemed to have been taken out of his sails. One by one each of them approached a different monitor, wondering what kind of message Eggman had left for them.

Sonic leaned forward, his finger hovering over the notification bearing his name. The air around him felt heavy now, the reality of Eggman’s proclamation beginning to set in. He steadied his shaking finger and tapped the screen.

The screen lit up again, revealing a new recording of Dr. Eggman. This time, the background was less ominous. It was his usual workshop, cluttered with half-finished machines and screens displaying blueprints of his countless schemes. Eggman lounged in his oversized hover chair, a smug grin plastered on his face. That grin while still as smug as ever, seemed less performative and much more natural, as though this part was meant for Sonic and Sonic alone.

"Sonic," he began, spreading his arms grandly, "If you’re watching this, then congratulations you’ve outlived me. Bask in the glory of knowing you survived the greatest mind in history! I’m sure you’re standing there, smirking like you always do, thinking you’ve won. But let’s not get too carried away. Because if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’ll never really consider this a win. Not against me"

Sonic nodded, it was true. He never wanted to see Eggman die. He always dreamt that Eggman would have a change of heart, that he would re-adopt that Mr. Tinker persona and work on making the world a better place. That was what victory meant to the Blue Blur, not this.

Anything but this.

"You know, Hedgehog, you’ve been the proverbial thorn in my side for years, and yet . . . I can’t say I ever hated it. Not truly. Sure, you’re insufferable, cocky, and annoyingly fast, but you’ve also been . . . entertaining. From our first little dance back on South Island to our more ambitious confrontations, like, oh, I don’t know, the time I turned you into a werehog . . . Not one of my brightest moments, mind you. But the point still stands! You pushed me, Sonic. Forced me to innovate, to improve, to strive for perfection. The brutal truth is that I am glad that you foiled my plans, it made my future endeavors all the more worth it."

"But," Eggman snapped, his voice snapping back to its usual boisterousness, "Don’t let this go to your head! Even dead I’m still smarter than you in every conceivable way. GAH! If I’d had just a little more time, I would have won! Make no mistake about that!” He pounded his fist against the table before calming himself down,”I’ll admit . . . there were times I almost respected you. Almost."

Sonic let out a soft smirk, understanding that was a confession of respect from the egomaniac.

The workshop around Eggman seemed almost smaller now, the man himself quieter despite the bombast in his words. "But alas, here we are. I’m gone, and you’re still here. I know you’ll carry on, saving the day and being that insufferable do-gooder you’ve always been. And honestly?" He allowed himself a small, almost wistful smile. "The world’s better for it. If I can't take over the world, then you better ensure that no one else will!"

Sonic’s hands dropped to his sides, the faint ache of realization settling in his chest. This wasn’t just another one of Eggman’s melodramatic speeches. For the first time, the finality of it all began to sink in.

He hated this.

This was something that he couldn’t run from, that he couldn’t use his prowess to overcome. Eggman was gone . . . and that fact truly hurt the carefree blue blur.

Sage had asked him to look after Eggman. Those were her final words, for him to ensure that her father would continue to live, for them to make up their differences. And he had failed that little girl, and he had failed himself.

Eggman straightened, his expression shifting to something sterner. "But enough sentimentality! I saved the most important part of this message for last." He tapped the side of his chair, and a familiar figure appeared on the screen beside him. "Sage."

Sonic's eyes went wide as he pressed his head against the screen.

Sage was gone, why was Eggman bringing her back up?

Eggman let out a confident smirk,”I managed to save her, Sonic. I scoured the Starfall Islands and all of Cyberspace, finding the remnant parts of her code, stitching it all back together and nursing her back to health! I succeeded where you failed her!” He uttered out, pressing his finger against the camera.

“She’s alive!?” Sonic shouted out, prompting glances from other Restoration members. A soft grin emerged upon his face,”Of course she is . . . It’s Eggman after all.” He was a miracle worker, always able to do the impossible.

“I’ve already integrated her into the Eggnet. She’s protected now, there won’t be any incidents such as what happened last time, and she WILL outlast me.” Eggman guaranteed, having worked long and hard to ensure Sage’s longevity and survival.

The image on the screen pointed directly at Sonic, his gaze sharp and serious. "And here’s the kicker, since I’m gone, I need someone to look after her. Someone who understands her. Someone who . . . " He hesitated, as if the words tasted strange in his mouth. " . . . who can help her find her place in this world. That someone, Sonic, is you."

The weight of the words hit Sonic like a freight train. The usually confident, quick-witted hedgehog found himself at a loss.

"I know what you’re thinking," Eggman said, his smirk returning faintly. "Why would I trust you with something so precious to me? The truth is, I don’t. But you’re the best shot she’s got. You’re . . . a hero, after all. And for what it’s worth, I think Sage would have liked that."

Eggman leaned back in his chair, a glimmer of something almost human in his eyes. "So, there you have it, Sonic. My final request. My final challenge. Take care of my daughter. And try not to screw it up." He then let out a grin,”And if you do? Then I’ll find a way to rise up from the grave and get you! Oh-hohoho!”

Sonic stood there absorbing Eggman’s last request as he heard the wicked scientist laugh for one final time.

The message ended abruptly, the screen fading to black. For a moment, the bustling sounds of the Restoration felt distant, muffled. Sonic stared at the blank monitor, his chest heavy. He tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat.

Sonic jumped as he felt a hand land upon his shoulder. His head spun around as he saw Amy looking at him, concern clear in her eyes. She ushered him over to where Tails was comforting Belle. The four of them found a nearby table, a heavy silence was practically smothering them as they sat there.

Belle shuddered.

Amy gently placed a hand on Belle's arm, her usual energy tempered with concern. "Belle . . . do you want to talk about it?"

Belle hadn’t spoken yet, her head still bowed. Belle’s hands trembled as she finally looked up, her voice quivering. "H-he called me his daughter." The room fell silent, all eyes turning to her.

"He said . . ." She paused, wiping at her wooden cheek with her sleeve. "He said he never understood the value of family until Sage. But that . . . he regrets not seeing it sooner. Regrets not seeing me as his daughter while he still had the chance." Her voice cracked, and a tear slid down her face, glinting like dew. "He hoped I could accept Sage as my sister. That we could . . . be a family. Even without him."

Amy moved closer, placing a gentle hand on Belle’s shoulder. "Belle . . ."

"But he’s not my father," Belle said quickly, her voice defensive and firm, though the tears kept falling. "My father was Mr. Tinker. Not him. Not-" She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don’t know what to feel. He hurt so many people. Hurt me by becoming him again. And yet . . ." She shook her head, her voice breaking. "I still wanted to hear those words."

Sonic stood, his face unusually serious as he placed a hand on Belle’s shoulder. "For what it’s worth, Belle . . . Mr. Tinker was real. He was Eggman, just without all the bad stuff clouding his mind. And if that version of him could care about you, maybe that means the Eggman we knew had some of that deep down, too."

Belle’s wooden fingers tightened into fists as she looked at him. "Do you think he really meant it? That he wanted us to be . . . sisters?"

Sonic gave her a small, reassuring smile. "From what he said in my message? Yeah. I think he did. He talked about Sage too, about how much she meant to him. And I think you meant as much to him as Sage does."

Belle bowed her head, letting the tears flow.

Tails frowned as he pat her back, trying to help his friend in her grief.

"Well, I don’t know what I expected, but that message was . . . something else." He crossed his arms, his twin tails flicking behind him. "Typical Eggman, though. Started off talking about how he was the greatest genius of all time y'know, classic 'Doctor Ego', but then he said something about me being . . . what was it? 'The second-smartest mind to ever grace this world.'" He snorted, but there was a small, conflicted smile on his face.

Amy leaned forward, curious. "Wait, second-smartest? That’s a compliment coming from him!"

Sonic smirked, reaching over to ruffle Tails’ fur. "Well, you are the smartest guy I know, little bro. Took Eggman long enough to catch on."

"Yeah, but then he said, 'With me gone, I suppose you’ll finally have a chance to take the top spot. Don't mess it up, Prower. Not that you’ll ever match my heights!' Like he couldn’t resist one last dig." Tails shook his head, but the faint admiration in his tone was undeniable. "Still . . . hearing him admit that? It means a lot, I guess."

Sonic glanced over at Amy,”What about you Ames? What did Eggman say to you?”

Amy looked down at the table, her brow furrowed. “Mine wasn’t much better. He said I should stop chasing after you, Sonic.” Her voice wavered slightly, but she pushed through. “‘It’s unbecoming,’ he said. And that I’m wasting my potential, that I’d be better off focusing on myself instead of clinging to someone who doesn’t share my feelings.” She huffed, trying to mask the hurt. “Then he called me ‘stubborn to a fault’ and said I’d probably ignore his advice anyway. But . . .” she hesitated, her voice softening. “He said I’m stronger than I think. That’s . . . the only nice thing he said.”

Amy sighed, “He wasn’t completely wrong, was he? Maybe I do need to focus on myself more. I’ve been thinking about that for a while now.”

“You’re all right to feel how you feel. Eggman’s always been full of himself, but this . . . this is something else.” Sonic rubbed the back of his head, his eyes darting away. “It’s weird, you know? He’s always been there, always scheming, always chasing me down with his machines. And now he’s just . . . gone?”

The room fell silent again, the weight of Eggman’s absence settling over them.

Sonic pushed off the table and stood upright, his tone shifting to something more determined. “I can’t just sit here and let this stew. I’ve got to find Sage, and I’ve got to get some answers.”

Amy stood up, worry etched on her face. “Sonic, wait. It could be a trap. Eggman’s always been two steps ahead, even when it looks like he’s lost.”

Sonic gave her a half-smile, the sadness still lingering in his eyes. “Maybe. But I’ve got to get some answers. I owe it to all of us to figure out what’s going on.” Without another word, he turned and bolted from the room in a blur of blue, the air crackling in his wake.

Amy sighed heavily, crossing her arms again. “That hedgehog . . . He’ll never change.”

Tails leaned forward, a soft smile on his face. “Don’t worry, he’ll be okay. He’s Sonic after all.”

Belle wiped her face, her voice soft but resolute. “He’ll find her. He always does.” She paused, “And when he does, I’ll have my own questions for Sage. About him. About all of this.”

Eggman Land

Sonic raced through the countryside, the wind roaring in his ears, his mind churning. As he neared Eggman Land, the imposing theme park/fortress loomed over the horizon, its garish lights and towering structures stark against the twilight sky. Yet, something was off . . . there were no patrols, no badniks racing out to intercept him.

The gates were wide open, the rides whirred and the neon lights shined bright, but not a single soul in sight. It felt as though the place had been abandoned in a hurry, left on autopilot. Sonic slowed his pace, the eerie silence pressing down on him. His instincts screamed that something wasn’t right, but he pressed forward, weaving through the empty attractions until he reached the central tower.

As he entered it, he noticed the broken pieces of glass that littered the floor. Moving his gaze upwards revealed the monitors that were all destroyed, laid in ruins. One cracked monitor had Eggman upon it announcing his death in repeat. He finally turned his gaze to the center of the room and saw a man there, leaning forward at a console. He wore a black suit that was currently unkempt, shards of glass hanging loose off of the sleeves.

It was Agent Stone.

One of, if not the most loyal of Eggman’s followers.

Sonic took a step forward, glass crunching under feet. The sound alerted Stone to his presence, the man twisted around gripping a wrench as he faced the blue blur,”You!” He growled out with a rage that Sonic had never seen before. “You’re not allowed to be here! This place is sacred! A monument to the Doctor’s genius!”

Sonic gave a sheepish smile as he raised up his arms in surrender,”Woah! Don’t worry, I’m not here to mess with Eggheads stuff, I’m just here to get some answers. Such as . . . “ Sonic disappeared in a burst of speed, reappearing directly in front of Stone, the wrench wrenched out of his hand. The man fell back onto his chair in surprise,”Such as what happened to Eggman.”

Stone felt his own powerlessness as he turned his head away from the Hedgehog. “He’s not dead.” His voice was full of pain,”He can’t be dead. The Doctor doesn’t die . . . he always has a plan! He is a genius! The greatest genius! D-death is something that can’t apply to him.” His voice broke,”He wasn’t supposed to be gone for this long.”

Sonic’s head tilted as he caught the last part of Stone’s grief-filled speech,”What do you mean, he wasn’t supposed to be gone for this long?” He asked.

Stone glared at the Hedgehog, but gave in as he saw the sheer concern in Sonic's eyes,” . . . Months ago, the Doctor was studying the limits of the warp topaz. It opened a portal to a whole new universe. At first, Eggman wasn’t interested in it. It was far too underdeveloped compared to our universe, that was before he caught sight of a kidnapping attempt and discovered the Koopa Kingdom.”

“Koopa Kingdom?” Sonic questioned,”Never heard of it.”

“Of course you haven’t.” Stone blinked,”I just told you it was from a different universe!” He leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh,”That Koopa Kingdom held a tremendous power and seemed as ambitious as the Doctor, so the Doctor decided to conquer it before it could become a threat to his own plans . . . “ Not to mention he wanted the power that Bowser held for himself. “There was a time table and plans he had to transport his whole army to this new universe, to execute Operation Catfish and then conquer it with one big battle . . . Only, I haven’t heard anything from the Doctor since he left.”

Sonic nodded, everything was beginning to fall into place here. It was like old times, Eggman finding some power that no one knew about and trying to get it for his own ends. It goes badly and now it's time for Sonic to bail him out.

He let out a smirk.

“Stone, you can transport me there, right?” Sonic asked, ready to go out and save Eggman and Sage.

Stone blinked, then narrowed his eyes. “Why would I do that? You’re his enemy. If anything, I should kick you out of here!”

“Think about it,” Sonic grinned. “If Eggman’s stuck in some other universe, you’re not exactly going to get a postcard from him. I’m fast enough to get in, find out what’s going on, and get back before you can even finish another cup of coffee. What have you got to lose?”

Stone turned back to the console, his fingers flying over the keys. “There’s a portal generator in the lower levels. I’ll activate it and set the coordinates to the universe that the Doctor went to.”

Sonic gave a confident grin. “Thanks, Stone. I owe you one.”

“Don’t thank me,” Stone muttered. “Just . . . bring him back.”

Sonic nodded and turned to leave, his mind racing. “Hang tight, Egghead,” he said under his breath. “I’m coming for you.” With that he disappeared into a blue blur as he sprinted downstairs and into the portal below.

KOOPA KINGDOM

The transition was instantaneous yet disorienting. For a moment, Sonic felt weightless, as if he were floating in an endless void. Then, with a sudden burst of light, he was propelled out of the portal and into a vast, vibrant landscape.

He landed on his feet, skidding to a stop atop a hill covered in bright green grass. The sky was a brilliant blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds. The air was warm and carried the faint scent of flowers, reminding him of home, of Green Hill Zone.

He shot out in a burst of speed, rolling around at the speed of sound. He crossed each and every hill as he searched and searched. His leg collided with something hard and caused him to trip. He groaned as he twisted himself around and gasped. What his foot had collided with was the remnants of metal sonic. His entire lower body had been eviscerated, his upper body remained in three separate parts.

“Metal.” Sonic uttered out, expecting and hoping for the robot's eyes to light up, but there was nothing. It remained dim and Sonic felt a lump form in his throat as he questioned what could possibly hold the power to destroy Metal Sonic.

“Can’t stay here.” He reminded himself and continued forth. Each and every step he became more and more worried, as questions ran through his head. After all, he knew that Eggman would never leave Metal there, not like that.

He bounded over a Hill and became privy to a scene of utter carnage. In the distance, the Egg Dragoon was hoisted in the air, its body having a massive spike of Earth through it. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Eggman’s body, but breathed out a sigh as he realized that was just one of his D3COYs. His head swiveled around, going over the sea of badnik parts and seeing the disembodied head of the Death Egg Robot.

“What happened here?” Sonic muttered out, a tinge of fear in his voice. He jogged down hill, going straight towards that head . . . but stopped as he caught sight of the Egg Mobile. It was cracked, left in a derelict state.

What’s more was the fact that it was completely made out of stone.

It was over.

Sonic knew that it was over. That Eggman came here to conquer and he lost everything. After all, the Egg Mobile was always his last line of defense. It was how he always escaped and survived, not even a blackhole would destroy it. It was a safety net for the Mad Scientist, that no matter how bad things became, he could always escape it via the Egg Mobile.

But here it was.

Broken.

Just like everything else around here. From Metal Sonic to the Death Egg Robot, there was no way that Eggman survived.

Sonic sat down, leaning his back against the cold stone. His gaze moved up to the clouds, wishing that things could be different. Wishing that he had followed through on what Sage had asked of him at Starfall Island and that he checked up on the mad scientist.

For a long moment, Sonic said nothing. Then, his voice broke the stillness, soft and almost hesitant. “So . . . this is it, huh?” Sonic said softly, as if Eggman could hear him. “Leaving without ever truly saying goodbye. You always had to make things dramatic, didn’t you?”

The silence stretched around him, the wind rustling faintly through the distant grass. Sonic rubbed the back of his neck, forcing a small, bitter chuckle. “You know, for all your evil schemes, you were never boring. I kinda liked the challenge, you always kept me on my toes.” He smirked faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Even after all the times I trashed your plans, you never gave up. Always bouncing back, always coming up with something new . . . .”

Sonic chuckled, running a hand through his fur. “I know I give you a hard time, but I always thought . . . maybe one day, you’d change. You had it in you. I mean, look at Belle. Look at Sage. You’re capable of more than just destruction, y’know? You can create such fantastic things, I know if you put your genius into it, you could’ve made a better world. I mean, look at how much joy you created back when you were Mr. Tinker.”

He sighed, the weight of the moment pressing down on him. “I just . . . I wish things could’ve been different. That maybe, just once, you’d decided to fight with us instead of against us. You always said you wanted to conquer the world, but I think what you really wanted was to prove something. To yourself. To everyone.”

Sonic leaned his head back, closing his eyes as the sun warmed his face. “You were the biggest pain in my butt, but . . . it was fun. The races, the battles, the smack talk, it was all a game to you, wasn’t it? And, yeah, I had fun too. More than I’d ever admit out loud.”

Sonic got up to his feet, staring over at the Egg Mobile. “I’m going to look for Sage, I know you wouldn’t have put her in harm's way. I’ll find her and bring her back home. I owe it to the both of you.”

He raised up his arms and fist bumped the machine.

“Thanks for the memories, Doc.”

With that he sped away.

[cosmoshard]

trick or treat 2024! Happy halloween🧡🧡🦇 ft. Turtle tots and April

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[starsinthesky5]

nothing's gonna hurt you baby II part 1 || joe burrow x reader

description: loving what you do doesn’t always mean it loves you back—it takes more than it gives sometimes

a/n: oh my GOD this is so long. it wasn’t supposed to be this long 😃😃😃😃. pls don’t hate me lol. this might have been the longest time i spent writing a fic too which is insane but i mean the word count speaks for itself HA. i really hope this isn’t total shit.  but, so sorry I kept you all waiting for so long!! i really hope this was worth the wait :) i took my time with this one!

also, huge huge thank you to @sofferaddict for inspiring a chunk of this fic! you’re ideas and requests were PERFECT and i hope I did them justice :)

warnings: angst, language, allusions to sex, smut at the end  (👨🚲 does this make sense???)

word count: 28.5 k (IM SO SORRY YALL-)

nothings gonna hurt you baby mini series master list (previous parts found here

——————————————————

Walking into Arrowhead Stadium always creates a complex mix of emotions for you; a rich blend of excitement, nervous energy, and uncertainty. It was a feeling that seemed to linger in the air for hours to come, creating an atmosphere charged with both anxiety and thrill. This mix was a given considering the matchup that was taking place, Joe Burrow vs Patrick Mahomes. It was two of the best in the league going against each other, a rivalry that had captivated the entire football community and had become one of the most talked-about spectacles in recent years. Whenever the Bengals went head-to-head with the Chiefs, the tension was electrifying yet frightening. But it wasn't about fear of losing—true fans knew the Bengals were the Chiefs' biggest rivals for the past 4 years and were their biggest threats—it was more about fearing how intense this game would be, but that also created excitement. The excitement came from knowing that this matchup promised to deliver an intense, high-energy, and nail-biting game that would leave everyone on the edge of their seats.

However, this time, you were feeling more excited than usual. Normally, you’d be on the verge of throwing up while walking through the concourse at Arrowhead, the bright red seats in the stands acting as a warning sign that forcefully caught your attention as if something urgent or dangerous was about to happen in the next few hours. This time, however, the bright red seats produced a feeling of comfort and nostalgia, like everything was back to normal while also reminding you of the memories you had here in years past (some sweeter than others).

You weren’t sure why, but playing the Chiefs made things feel like they were truly back to normal, despite the terrible loss against the Patriots the week before. Maybe it was because Joe always played his best against KC, so this game might just light that fire inside of him he so desperately needed last week. Or maybe it was because you knew how last week's loss put the entire team on notice so today's performance should be near perfect and push things back on track since they knew what narratives were being tossed around in the media right now. 

Whatever it was, the bottom line was that you felt relaxed and confident—a complete 360 from how you felt last week before the game. 

And you weren’t the only one who felt this way today. Joe did too. 

For real this time. 

Flashback to last night 

“I miss you,” he softly said over the phone and pouted as you moved your phone back into your view and flipped over to your stomach on your bed. 

“I just saw you a few hours ago,” you giggled. “I drove you to the airport,”. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said while leaning back against his hotel bed's headrest. “But I miss touching you and feeling you next to me. That thing we did in the car was nice but that only made me more…you know…after we were done. I just miss you, all of you,”. 

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, remembering in vivid detail what transpired in the car before he left to go board the plane. What started as an innocent goodbye kiss quickly turned into a heated exchange that led to Joe pulling you to the backseat of the Porsche and having his way with you. Even though it had been a few hours, you could still practically feel his hand gripping your thigh right now, feel his hot breath against your ear, hearing his raspy voice chant your name breathlessly over and over. That’s how dazed you still were. 

“Simmer down, Burrow. Gotta save that energy for tomorrow,” you smiled. 

“I can’t help it when my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman on the planet,” he winked while threading his fingers through his frosted tips. “You're not just beautiful, you’re magnetic. There's something about you that draws me in and doesn’t let me go, not just your looks but the way you carry yourself–confident, sexy, and undeniably captivating. Your eyes are like liquor and your body’s like gold. One thing makes me drunk to the point where I lose all sense and the other makes me greedy for more,”. 

“Joeee,” you shied away from the camera and smiled, then hid your face in the soft pillow that smelled exactly like him–crisp and clean, with a hint of his natural musk, and a little spicy–which only made you miss him even more and caused your smile to drop. 

Yeah, you missed him too. How could you not? You had gotten so used to having him around all the time during the past 10 months and all of a sudden he’s not and is spending the majority of his time at the facility, that wasn’t something you were getting used to just yet. You were beyond excited that he could now do what he loved which he had been missing for far too long, but you missed him. You missed those peaceful evenings that you two spent together, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, and lounging on the couch while watching a silly movie. You missed those mornings when you’d get to wake up to his adorable smile and gentle kisses. You missed those late nights you two spent out in the backyard, staring up at the stars and talking about life. Now that football had fully begun, these things would become sporadic and you couldn’t help but miss him every single second he was away from you, even if you had just seen him just a few hours ago like today. 

“What? It’s true,” he smirked, snapping you out of your trance. “I can’t stay away from you, you know that. I just wanna be around you all the time because of the way you make me feel,”.

He wanted to be around you, he really did. But this is what he’d have to deal with for the next 5 to 6 months and it killed him to not spend as much time with you as he wished. The past 10 months were a blessing in disguise for him; even though he was far away from what he loved to do, he was with the person he loved to love. That’s all that mattered.

But now he was close to what he loved to do, but a little further from the person he loved to love–and that sucked. 

“Oh really? How do I make you feel?” you asked while peeking up from the pillow with a cheeky grin.

“Hmm,” he hummed and raised his eyebrow as he pretended to think about how you made him feel. He really didn’t need to think about it, the way you made him feel was so obvious to the point where even everyone around him could see it. 

Just that afternoon, after Joe finally got out of the car and made his way to the plane, Ja’marr and Tee noticed that Joe looked happier, livelier, and more radiant than normal. At first, they couldn’t put their finger on what made him feel like that, especially before a game like this where he’d normally be dialed in and visibly numb. But once they saw the Porsche drive away and a girl wave goodbye in the window, they knew exactly what got him to this point. 

They dubbed this the ‘Y/N glow’, a playful name for the look Joe had whenever he was around them and was giving off specific energy, a specific energy that they noticed he had around you. So whenever Joe showed up around the guys with this glow–without you by his side–they knew something must have happened before with you to make him like this. They applauded your talents, nothing could make Joe this visibly happy, not even football. The way he remained like this even when you weren’t around was remarkable, it goes to show the depth of your love for him and the profound impact you had on him.

That’s why Joe wanted to be around you at all times, the way you made him feel was irreplicable and so good that he was addicted to it, to you. You brought a smile to his face by doing the most minimal things, making him feel a genuine happiness that football could never bring him. You always had a way of making him feel better, even when he was so far gone that he didn’t even know how to pull himself out of that hole on his own. He needed you, he always needed you. Last week was the perfect example; he was almost too deep into that hole of anxiety and self-doubt and pushed you away again, but you once again came right in with no limitations and pulled him back out. He was so extremely blessed to have you in his corner, and he knew that. 

“You make me feel like I’ve already won,” he grinned. 

“Won what?” you bit your lip and asked, flipping around onto your back.

“The best trophy anyone can possibly win,”. 

“Are you calling me a trophy girlfriend?” you furrowed your brows and asked. 

“Oh, no. God no,” he laughed. “I mean, I feel like I’ve already won with you. The greatest thing anyone can have in this world is genuine, unconditional love. I have that…with you,” he said, his tone becoming more serious. “Winning you and your love is the greatest trophy, the greatest achievement I could ever have,”. 

“Even greater than a Lombardi?” you asked, a tear forming in your eyes because of the sudden severity of his voice. The combination of his voice and the emotions you were already feeling from being apart from him created a strong mix. If he wasn't currently on Facetime with you, you would’ve found yourself seeking comfort in his pillow, probably crying your eyes out. “Fuck, I miss him,” you thought to yourself. 

“Greater than a Lombardi, MVP, and Hall of Fame induction,” he nodded. 

“Damn, you really love me,” you giggled as you subtly wiped the tear from your eye, trying to prevent him from seeing that you were a little emotional because you didn’t need him to get distracted. 

“Really is an understatement. Loving you is like being on fire because it’s intense, all-consuming, and totally wild. It burns inside me, making my heart and soul come alive. You're the flame I never want to put out, the passion I never want to lose. You're the light in my darkest hours and the warmth in my coldest nights,”.

“You’re so sweet and poetic,” you blushed, giving him a love-struck smile as you gazed deeply into his eyes through the screen.  

“And you’re so damn cute,” he smiled as he got up from his bed to grab his water bottle.

You let out a soft chuckle, your heart swelling because of how gentle, warming, and loving his words directed to you were, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” you asked, getting up from your bed and walking over to the bathroom to fix your messy hair. 

“Surprisingly good,” he said as he moved around the room, sounds of shuffling and clanking filling the bathroom as you grabbed your brush. “Practice went well, as you know, and I feel pretty good about where I’m at. Physically and Mentally,” he nodded as he came back into the camera view. 

“That’s great, babe,” you smiled, feeling lighter after hearing him say that he feels good mentally. Last week was rough and you did not want to see a repeat of that ever again, especially after how long it took you to calm him down. 

“I was too hard on myself last week, can’t let that happen again or I think I’ll be borderline psychotic by week 18,” he joked. 

As you spoke, a warm, reassuring smile graced your face. "You're absolutely right. It's not healthy to load yourself with so much pressure. What's important is that you're giving it your all. I want you to know that I'm genuinely proud of you no matter what," you said gently, your hand reaching up to brush back a loose strand of hair.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled. “Kansas City’s always a good game regardless. Tomorrow should be good. Not an easy game, but good. Unlike last week, I feel relaxed and confident. Since I’ve gotten hit a few times, that’s put my mind at ease about the wrist a little bit and I feel good. I’m hoping tomorrow’s game will bring that fire back into the guys, and even me,” he said before unscrewing the cap of his water and taking a big sip. 

“I know it will,” you said while grabbing a hair clip. “At least we know Ja’marr will be fired up no matter what,” you giggled, referring to Ja’marrs long-lasting beef with the entirety of Kansas City. 

He let out a soft laugh, “Ohhh yeah. He’s amped up for sure,”. He closed his water before returning to the camera with a cheeky grin, “I am too, to be honest, but not only because we’re playing the Chiefs. I’m excited to have you here for the game,”.

“Well, I’m excited to be there for the game,” you winked as you grabbed the phone and went back to the bedroom. “My flight’s in like an hour or so and Emma should be meeting me at the airport so we can fly to Kansas City together,”.

“I’m glad she could fly in for the game and keep you company,” he said, talking about your childhood best friend. “I didn’t want you to be all alone since my parents can’t make it and thank god and my big ass contract for letting me get you guys a suite.. I don’t ever want you sitting in the stands because those fans are intense as hell,”. 

“Tell me about it,” you said, widening your eyes. “They’re so fucking loud on TV and in person, it’s like on a whole other level of rowdy fans. I thought Philly had the rowdiest NFL fans but KC might give them a run for their money,”.

“Mmm, I think Philly still wins in that department,” Joe shook his head and said. "But Kansas City definitely knows how to bring the energy, especially when they're up against the Bengals. It's like they're out there with an extra level of fire and even insanity when they're up against us,”. 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re Joe Cool and can effortlessly cool them off by doing what you do out there,” you grinned, making dramatic hand movements to emphasize your words. 

“Thanks, Y/N,” he chuckled, threading his fingers through his soft frosted tips. “I’m gonna let you go now so you can get to your flight on time. I know you get stressed out at the airport so you should probably leave now to give yourself some grace time,” he smiled. “I think some of the guys are going down to grab something to eat from the conference room so I’m gonna go with them,”. 

"You’re probably right,” you laughed and nodded as you reached down and pulled up your sleek, black carry-on suitcase with silver accents. The suspense of the game weighed heavily on your mind as you spoke, "I don't know if I'll get a chance to talk to you tomorrow before the game, so I just wanted to say that you got this, Joe. I know you do. Remember to keep calm, take a deep breath, and dial in on the field. Don't think about anything else–forget about the roar of the crowd, the flashing cameras of the media, the distracting questions from the reporters. Block it all out and do what you do best out there. It's just you and the football,". 

"I love you so much," Joe said as if he was lost in some trance, his eyes filled with warmth and sincerity, while giving you a tight-lipped smile. You could see the genuine affection in his eyes as he spoke those words. He valued your words, advice, and honesty more than anything else. 

"I love you too," you said, unable to contain your joy as a wide grin spread across your face. Your cheeks flushed with a rosy blush, responding to the intense gaze he fixed on you. His eyes spoke volumes, showing an overwhelming amount of love and endearing infatuation that made your heart flutter.

End of flashback 

Hearing him say that he felt good about today's game, with a confident smile on his face and a sense of determination in his voice, was all you needed to fully relax and feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You noticed the way his eyes sparkled with a mix of excitement and focus, and you couldn't help but feel a wave of positive energy. You were genuinely excited about the game this time, it was a completely different feeling than you had before last week's game when doubt and nerves had overshadowed your usual enthusiasm.

“Did I mention how amazing you look right now, Mrs. Burrow?” Emma teased as she snapped you out of your trance. You blinked your eyes a few times and realized you were now standing in your suite for the evening which was facing the Bengals sideline, not knowing when and how you even ended up in there. You looked down and noticed you were holding a glass, seemingly filled with a Vodka Cranberry Cocktail, not even knowing how this drink ended up in your hold. “Damn, he has me in a trance even when he’s not with me,” you thought to yourself as you looked back at Emma. 

“Em…,” you said to her while giving her a look.

“What? I’m just stating the facts, Y/N. I know that ring is coming sooner rather than later,” she winked. “Joe is so down bad obsessed with you, I really don’t think he can go another year without officially officially marking his territory with a big, beautiful diamond ring,”. 

"...Yeah," you giggled and nodded a few seconds later, feeling a little shy all of a sudden at the mention of how obsessed he was with you. The thought of marrying Joe filled your mind with a sense of euphoria and excitement, it was a beautiful dream you craved to turn into reality. The past 5 years with him were nothing short of a fairytale, and you two ruled the kingdom you had built together hand-in-hand with no intention of ever letting go. From the moment you first saw each other, you knew that this relationship would be different; and it was. It was different because you two had a connection that neither of you had ever had with anyone before. A kind of connection that only needed one small spark to fully catch on fire. And that fire burned no matter the circumstance: through the rain, the wind, and anything that threatened to blow it out. 

A connection that felt like it was written in the stars–something cosmic, fated, inescapable. Once those stars aligned, everything clicked into place your lives intertwined in a way that felt as natural as breathing. It wasn’t forced and it certainly wasn’t rushed; it was like you were both simply waiting for the universe to do its thing, to bring you together at the right moment. As time went on, you realized just how deeply ingrained that bond was. It wasn’t just the shared laughs, the stolen kisses, or even the way you could read each other without saying a word. It was the way you stood by each other through the storms, the way you’d hold each other’s hands when the weight of the world was too much to carry alone.

Joe had reassured you of his intent to marry you multiple times which only intensified the significance of Emma's words and made butterflies flutter in your belly. Joe knew you were his forever from the second he saw you, it was only a matter of time before he made it clear to everyone. You twirled a strand of your hair around your finger, feeling a warm blush creeping up your cheeks as you tried to hide your smile. “But he’s focused on ball right now and he knows I don’t care when it happens,”. 

“We’ll see,” Emma grinned, her tone of voice making you suspicious but you decided to let it go knowing this wasn’t the time to pick her brain about this subject. “But seriously, you look hot as hell right now. Best dressed WAG in the league by a long shot and man is Joe going to die when he sees this look. Taylor ain’t got nothing on you today,”.

"Hey," you snapped as your jaw fell, unable to hide your surprise. "No disrespect to Taylor. We love her, and I know she's on the enemy’s side tonight, but listen, her music has been with us through thick and thin, every breakup, situationship, and boyfriend. Without her, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get over James. Not to mention, I think she subconsciously wrote Call it what you want and King of my heart about me and Joe,".

“You’re right, you’re sooo right,” Emma said as she nodded. “But like, you look great,” she smiled as she gestured to your outfit. 

You were wearing a skin-tight, cropped, custom-made, orange Burrow jersey that fit like a baby tee. It was a unique piece, specially made to your measurements and featuring Joe’s name and number. Along with the jersey, you wore your trademark ‘9’ necklace, adding a personal touch to the outfit. The denim mini-skirt complemented the jersey top perfectly, adding a casual yet stylish element to your look. The custom white knee-high boots were a standout feature, with a beautifully embroidered ‘9’ on the bottom by your ankle, fashionably showcasing your team spirit. To top it off, you had a vintage Bengals hat on, completing the outfit with a touch of retro charm. Truth be told, you looked absolutely stunning and it was clear who you were specifically supporting tonight.

“I guess I do,” you smiled, taking a sip of the cocktail that was in your hand. 

You spent the rest of the time watching the pre-game warmups, observing how quickly fans flooded the stadium, and listening to how loud it was getting even though the game hadn’t even started yet. There were hardly any Bengals fans around your suite, honestly, all you saw was a sea of red around the stadium–not really surprising since not everyone wants to make a trip to Kansas City during week 2, especially after that loss last week. 

“Holy Red Kingdom,” Emma said in surprise, raising her eyebrows as she looked down and saw a crowd of Chiefs fans right in front of your suite. 

“Yeah,” you nodded as you looked down with her, your eyes scanning the crowd and only seeing ‘15’s and ‘87’s along with bright red shirts, hats, and jerseys. As you looked around the crowd and glanced down to the right, searching for any signs of orange, you heard loud, obnoxious shouting from below. At first, you thought it was just rowdy fans getting excited for the game about to start in a few minutes. But then the words that followed made you feel uneasy, and you quickly looked in that direction.

“Lookie, Lookie. Looks like we got a little Burrow fan up there,” one of the men said pointing up at you. 

“Really?” another man cackled, looking right up at you, his face contorting to a look of surprise once he saw you. “Oh shit!”. 

“No fucking way,” another man howled. “I didn’t think that joke of a quarterback still had any fans around. Especially after that embarrassing loss last week against the Patriots out of all teams. Like how do you play that bad against the fucking Patriots during Week 1? And wasn’t he all ‘I feel as good as I’ve ever felt in my entire career’ like two weeks ago? It sure as hell didn’t look like it last Sunday,” he laughed. “He was probably lying to save his ass,”. 

“That injury clearly fucked him up for good, there’s no coming back from that. He might as well just call it quits now before he gets hurt again and ends up stuck in the hospital bed, I’ve never seen a more injury-prone quarterback since Andrew Luck, Burrow should stop chasing that trophy and sit back down and think about his health,” he laughed, making a mockery out of Joe’s health and stamina. 

“I mean, it’s not like he had much going for him before the injury anyway. He came into the league as this hotshot, sparkly quarterback but has nothing to show for the hype that’s around him except for an embarrassing Super Bowl loss. Not to mention that he was overpaid by a lot I mean, with that contract you’d think he’d won two Lombardi’s back to back,” the other man laughed. “Bitch thinks he’s Pat Mahomes,” the man shook his head and hollered, earning loud laughs and words of agreement from the other men. 

“Hey!” one of the other men shouted up at you. “You’re supporting the wrong guy, sweet cheeks,” he slurred as he pointed back to the field. “A pretty lady like you needs to show up for a real man like Mahomes or Kelce. Hell, we’re probably better than that pussy, Burrow,” he snarled, the hungry look in his eyes making you feel incredibly uneasy.

“Oooooo,” another man teased. “She does look like she’d look hot in KC red. Not to mention how bangin’ her body is and that ugly orange isn’t doing her tits any justice,”.

Emma's eyes widened in shock as she whispered, "Oh my god," and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. The lewd comments from the drunk men made you both furious and highly uncomfortable, causing your shoulders to tense up with nervousness.

“Yeahhh,” the other man shouted, “Come sit down here with us, sweetheart. We can help you take that ugly ass Burrow shirt off and give you one of our shirts to wear…but that’s if you’re lucky,” he winks, earning high-fives from the other men for insinuating something like that. 

He was so obviously drunk. They were all drunk. 

Your heart raced in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears as a wave of anxiety washed over you, leaving you paralyzed with hesitation. Your mind raced, desperately searching for the right words or actions in this strange situation. This was uncharted territory for you, something you had never expected having to confront so you had no idea what to say or do. 

“He’s a failure!”. “Complete waste of talent right there!”. “He can’t even throw like he used to!”. “Career went down the toilet as soon as he was drafted to Shittcinati!”. “He’s one hit away from being done for good!”. 

The insults echoed in your mind, each word leaving a harsh mark and adding to the weight on your shoulders you thought you got rid of over the past week. As the crowd quieted for the kickoff, the echoes of their insults lingered. During the chaos, you could only think about Joe, feeling his absence strongly. The hurtful words triggered familiar feelings of anxiety and worry that you had worked hard to overcome before stepping into the stadium and you didn’t know what to do.

“Y/N?” Emma asked as she grabbed your trembling hand. “Are you alright?” she asked as she gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“Y- yeah,” you lied as you felt your eyes well with tears. “I’m fine. It was just a bunch of drunk idiots, n- nothing to worry about,” you said to her while giving her a fake, rehearsed smile as you felt that pit in your stomach you got last week come back. 

“Are you sure? That was fucking disgusting and so uncalled for, I’m sure we can talk to someone and-,”.

“No.” you interrupted her and said, your voice heavy and almost scared. “I really don’t want to make a scene here and I don’t even think those guys knew I’m Joe’s girlfriend. I really don’t want to be the subject of those annoying headlines over this and make things even more distracting for Joe,” you swallowed. 

“But I-,”.

“Emma, please,” you pleaded as you looked into her eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied again, giving her false reassurance by pulling her in for a hug.

You were not fine. Joe. You needed Joe. The one person who could calm you down, get you to relax, the person who would be able to deal with this and shield you from the disgusting comments. “I need you right now,” you thought to yourself as you felt your throat tighten and tears threaten to spill out. You had never experienced anything like this before and although it was just a group of idiotic men that didn’t know you or Joe enough to be saying all of that, it still felt like a punch straight to the gut because the things they were saying were along the same lines of what Joe was saying to you last week, only they were saying it in a harsher more hateful manner. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to tell Joe about this, knowing that it would just become another distraction for him. 

“This is going to be a long game,” you thought to yourself after pulling away from the hug sitting back down in your seat, feeling the urge to shrink away and hide. The pit in your stomach mixed with your growing anxiety left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you feel exactly how you did last week during the game. 

It felt as if the protective bubble shielding you from the raging storm outside had burst, leaving you once again in the middle of the storm, feeling scared, anxious, and on the verge of being swept away by your thoughts.

“Fuck,” you thought to yourself. “I hope this feeling goes away,”. 

A few hours later - End of the Game

It definitely did not go away.

The comments from the drunk fans set the tone for you for the rest of the game. It seemed like everything went downhill from there–for you and for the team. Some exciting, explosive moments had you on your feet but those were tinted by the other, more unpleasant things that happened. 

You found yourself once again on the edge of your seat the entire game, but not because of the thrill or because you had adrenaline coursing through your veins. It was for the exact same reason as last week–you were scared, anxious, and upset. The game was neck and neck, a pure nail-biter as usual, and the Bengals put up one hell of a fight and honestly should have won the game, but they once again couldn’t do it.

They played good and way better than last week, but just not good enough. 

And then it came to Joe. The one person that had been on your mind since the game began. 

Flashback

"Oh my god!" you yelled as you shot up from your chair, your heart palpitating in your chest as you saw Joe go in for the QB sneak. You could see the determination in his eyes as he charged forward, only to get his shoulder rammed into by a defender. In that split second, you knew it was going to be a hard hit. Joe was brought straight to the ground, his helmet knocked off, and he was immediately crushed by several large opposing players. The impact echoed through the stadium as you breathed, praying he’d get up.

“Holy Shit,” Emma gasped next to you, her hand over her mouth. “I hope he’s okay, that looks like it fucking hurt,”. 

“Joe, please be okay,” you whispered to yourself, your entire body feeling as if it was just thrown into a familiar brick wall. Immediately, your mind wandered over to the moments he had gotten injured in the past, and what just happened in that play was very similar to what’s happened before. The feeling you got in your body just now was very similar to how you felt in those moments. It was as if you were thrown into the abyss, had your heart torn from your chest, or stabbed in the stomach. 

“Not again. I can’t do that again. He can’t do that again,” you thought to yourself as you felt your eyes pool with tears. “His fucking helmet flew off, Emma,” you said as you turned to her, your voice trembling and breaths getting shorter. “And…and his shoulder. The way he went down…,”.

“I know, I know,” she said as she rubbed your back, “But look, he’s getting up and he looks fine”. 

You looked back down to the field, watching as Joe grabbed his helmet and stood up with an emotionless look on his face. As you watched him from a distance, you noticed that there was no hint of a limp in his stride, no flexing of his wrist, and no visible signs of shoulder pain. It seemed like he was moving with relaxation and confidence, showing no physical pain as he prepared to rejoin the game.

“See? It’s okay. He’s okay,” she soothed as she swayed you back and forth for comfort. 

“Fuck,” you whispered as you slowly nodded, taking deep breaths to even out your heart rate, “He’s okay…He’s fine…,”. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Emma reassured. “Don’t worry so much. Joe’s a tough guy, a play like this isn’t going to hurt him. Especially now since he’s so so much stronger and tougher, ”. 

“You’re right,” you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down by continuing to take deep breaths and using your right hand to gently rub your left hand (the hand which had the veins that led straight to your heart)—a gesture that always calmed you down that Joe discovered. You rubbing your hand didn’t have the same effect as when Joe did it, but it was enough for now. 

“I just- they can’t do that again. He could’ve gotten really hurt,” you mumbled.

Even though he looked calm and normal, you started to feel more and more uneasy. At the same time, you began to taste something bitter in your mouth, and it got stronger with every breath.

End of Flashback

The trauma of witnessing his previous injuries had left you with a bit of PTSD. As a result, every time he fell or moved differently, you experienced intense anxiety and fear, believing that something may be seriously wrong. 

You had hoped that moment was the only time this evening you’d feel like this, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. 

The QB sneak was just one example from this evening.

Flashback 

“Yeah, and I thought about bringing Ryland but he had to go into New York this weekend with his brother for the Cage The Elephant concert,” Emma said as she took a sip of her cocktail. You two were talking about needing to plan a double date with the four of you (you, Joe, Emma, and her Boyfriend). She also mentioned that she wanted to bring him to the game this evening but he already had tickets for the concert with his brother and wished he could have joined you all. 

“Sooo, I take it you two are getting serious,” you giggled, wiggling your eyebrows. 

“What makes you say that?” she asked, taking another sip.

“We never do double dates, Em. Like ever,” you smiled. “Your exes were douches so you never brought them around Joe and me on purpose as a coupley thing but you are with Ryland so something has to be different,”.

“I could say the same thing about you, Mrs. Burrow, Mrs. Quarterback, Mrs. 9, Mrs. Cincinnati, Mrs. Shiesty,” she teased with a silly smile. “You never brought a boyfriend around me like that for the same reason and here we are, sitting in a suite your lover rented for you, watching him play football, while you’re completely decked out in his name and number.  You and Joe are like a package deal. Inseparable, attached at the hip, and so obsessed with one another. You are locked the fuckkkk in and I could not be more happier for you,”. 

“Emmmaaaaa,” you whined, hiding your face out of shyness. 

“I can just hear those wedding bells, Y/N,” she giggled, pulling your hands down. “Here comes the bride,” she sing-songed.

“Rigggghtttt,” you nodded, laughing along with her and glancing back to the field to see if the break was over and to see where your boyfriend was.

You felt your heart drop and a lump forming in your throat as your eyes locked onto Joe, who was standing crouched down on the field. "Oh my god," you choked, the words barely escaping your lips as you shot up from your chair, feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You walked with shaky steps straight to the edge of the suite window, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once.

You saw Joe standing on the field, his back to you, and crouched down; almost as if he was holding his wrist. Your mind quickly flashed back to November 16th, M&T Bank Stadium, the night he got hurt and was in this exact position. “Oh my god,” you said again, this time more panic evident in your voice. 

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked as she looked at you.

“Joe…he looks like he’s holding his wrist?” you mumbled as you moved to the side to see if you could get a better look. “Emma, I think something’s wrong,” you said, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. 

Emma quickly got up from her seat and walked over next to you, taking a look at what you were talking about. “Are you sure?” she asked with a concerned look. 

“It- it looks like it…oh my god,” you said as you felt your throat tighten, then covered your face with your eyes. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening again. Not now,” you sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

Emma continued to look down at Joe with you, her eyes twinkling with amusement and her smile coming back once she got a better view of him. "Ohhhh, Y/N," she laughed next to you, her pleasant voice filling the air. She placed her arm around your shoulder, the warmth of her touch comforting and familiar, and gave you a gentle squeeze.

“What?” you asked her, peeking through your hands.

“Look down,” she said, pointing back down to Joe. 

You moved your hands down and slowly turned to your head to look at him and what you saw was completely unexpected. 

Joe was tying his shoes. 

That’s why he was crouched down. 

"He was... he was tying his shoes?" you whispered, feeling your heart start up again and a wave of relief come over you, which swept away the nausea. The sight of him crouched down, looping the laces and tying them into neat bows, reassured you that everything was okay. You have never been happier to see him tying his shoes, doing such a simple and ordinary task. 

“Looks like it,” she laughed, then looked back at you and saw your face relax. “You okay?”.

“I think so,” you breathed out, watching him stand back up and walk around like nothing happened. “I just got scared for a second. That position seemed a little too familiar for my liking,” you nervously laughed. 

“I get it. This stuff has to be stressful for you because of the wrist. It’s normal to get a bit of PTSD,” she said.

“I think I’ll be dead by Week 18 if I keep freaking out over these things,” you joked, placing your hand over your heart. 

Every time he did something different, like flexing his wrist or crouching down weirdly, rubbing a certain part of his body, or sporting a look of discomfort—you were scared shitless. The thought of him getting injured again and having to go through all the pain and suffering was your biggest nightmare. 

End of Flashback 

Then, it was Ja’marr’s situation on the field, a situation that had quickly escalated as everyone was running on pure adrenaline and anger. 

Even Joe, who usually keeps his calm in these scenarios. 

Flashback

“Ja’marr looks pissed, holy shit,” you said as you looked down onto the field and saw him visibly angry at the Refs. 

“Look at Joe trying to swoop in and save his bestie,” Emma laughed as she pointed towards Joe who was running to Ja’marr, then grabbing him to move him away from the Ref. 

“That’s Joe, all right,” you smiled, “Always being Switzerland,”. 

You watched as the situation on the field seemingly fizzled out after that, but then also watched as things quickly heated up again and Ja’marr was going right back in. You leaned forward in your seat, “What the fuck is even happening? Why is he so livid?” you said. 

“I think it might have been related to the play before but I think the fact that the Ref isn’t talking to him is making it worse,” Emma nodded.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, your eyes widening as you watched Joe come back into the situation, this time his entire body language showing that he was not happy. You watched as he pulled Ja’marr away from the Ref and then tried to speak with the Ref himself, only to be interrupted by Ja’marr again.

“Oh my-,” you began to say before your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of Joe roughly pushing Ja’marr away from him. 

"Holy fuck," Emma said in surprise, her eyes widening as she watched the intense scene unfold on the field. Both of you stood there, observing Joe extending an arm to try to keep Ja'marr away, but it was clear that his efforts weren’t working. Joe had to keep pushing Ja'marr back while also giving him a piece of his mind. "Y/N, I've never seen Joe that aggressive before on the field," she pointed out, her voice laced with concern as she continued to watch the tense exchange between the two players.

“Me either. He always keeps his cool, so something bad must have happened for him to get like this,” you agreed, the sight of Joe getting heated on the field both concerning and slightly enticing for you. 

“I didn’t know Joe got rough like that,” Emma laughed, trying to lighten the vibes by teasing you, and oh was it working.

“Very funny, Em,” you said, sending her an intense look and trying to hide your smile even though you were laughing internally at what she was implying. 

“What? I mean, if he’s like that out there I can’t even imagine how he’s like in-,” she started to say before you interrupted her. 

“Emma!” you laughed, your entire body shaking from your reaction. “He’d kill me if he knew we were talking about this,”.

“So that means what I’m saying is true,” she giggled while raising her eyebrow. 

You tried to hide your smile by gently pressing your lips together, but the corners of your mouth gave you away, turning up in a slight but unmistakable grin. Your cheeks, with a rosy, playful blush, gave off warmth, revealing everything without you needing to say a word.

“Daaaaamn, Joe,” she smiled. “Well at least now I know that you have a good sex life,” she winked. 

“Good? It’s fucking phenomenal,” you nonchalantly mumbled which earned a gasp from Emma. 

“Ahhh,” she shrieked, breaking out into a fit of laughter with you. 

Although you were taking a lighthearted approach to the situation, whatever happened on the field didn’t sit well with you. You weren’t sure what was going on with Ja’marr and although you were worried about him, your attention was mostly on Joe. His visible agitation, a stark contrast to his usual composed presence on the field, was concerning. He always kept his cool whenever things went sideways out there because he didn’t like getting worked up. After all, that diverted his focus, but this time it seemed like he lost all of his ability to keep calm–which only meant one thing. 

It was getting to him. This game was getting to him. 

End of Flashback 

As the game went on, he only got more and more frustrated. You could tell he wasn’t happy with his performance and the team’s performance by his body language and the grim yet frustrated look on his face. 

His unhappiness was justified, this game was brutal and although the Bengals had an answer for every play the Chiefs made, there were too many careless mistakes that ended up costing them the game. One thing in particular that you knew Joe would repeatedly think about was his fumble in the 4th quarter which the Chiefs capitalized on and got a free 6 points from. You knew he’d obsess over that play because it was his mistake that cost them the ball and why they got those points. 

If that fumble return didn’t happen, they had a good chance of winning the game, and you knew that thought would haunt Joe for the rest of the night. 

You felt awful about the entire thing, how the team struggled against them, how Joe struggled against them, how their ignorant mistakes that should’ve been cleared up were costing them this important game. 

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. 

Flashback to the last few seconds of the game 

“I just…I can’t believe we lost,” you said as you blankly stared out onto the field, watching as the clock painfully ticked down. “We were so close…he was so close, I..,” you started to get choked up and said, clutching your ‘9’ necklace in the process. “And he looks so..he looks so sad and disappointed,”. 

Joe.

That is literally all you could think about right now. Not the team, not the fans, not the careless mistakes, not the fact that you lost the game by 1 point and a few bullshit referee calls. 

Just Joe. 

“I know, Y/N. I know,” Emma said as she placed a comforting arm around your shoulder and let you lay your head on her shoulder. 

“And Joe’s probably already beating himself up for this and-,” you began to say before you were interrupted by loud, obnoxious yelling again. 

“How does it feel, girls?” the fan laughed as the same group of men from earlier looked up at you and Emma.

“I swear to fucking god,” Emma whispered before speaking up, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn lives? Leave her alone you miserable freaks,”. 

“Oooo, someone’s getting defensive,” the other drunk laughed. 

“They seem so sad, awww,” the other man mocked in a child-like voice. “That’s what happens when you support the wrong fucking guy, sweetheart,”.

“He was a shitty quarterback, still is a shitty quarterback, and will forever be a shitty quarterback. You got the short end of the stick, babe,” the other man laughed while raising his cup in the air. “It ain’t too late to switch teams…or switch shirts,” he winked.

“Wait a second,” one of the men said while looking down at his phone. “Holy fuck, look at this y’all,” he said to the other men as he turned his phone around.

“That girl up there is Burrow’s girlfriend. Just came up on my feed,” he said as he glanced up at you and showed you the picture of you and Joe from the sidelines at the last home game which made it onto some sports tabloid. 

“No freaking way!” one of the men obnoxiously laughed. “This bitch is his fucking girlfriend? That’s even more embarrassing for her. Supports a shitty ass team with a lackluster quarterback and is dating him? Man, your standards must be low as fuck,”. 

You held your tongue, clenching your fists to stop yourself from defending Joe and yourself. You didn't want to create a scene, but the want to speak up was strong. Your eyes burned with built-up tears and you knew that if you let them fall, you wouldn't be able to stop. “Please stop,” you thought to yourself, your entire body telling you that you needed to be in Joe’s arms. His warmth, his touch, and his words were what you needed right now. 

"Damn, they’ve been together since his days down in Louisiana. That’s like what? 5 years? Damn, he didn't even bother to put a ring on her finger either. So not only is he a bad football player, but he's also proving to be an even worse boyfriend," one man chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to put a ring on her finger. He probably knows she’s a gold digger and is only with him for the money and fame. I mean, look at her? She looks like a slut and is practically asking for all eyes to be on her. Attention whore at it’s finest,” he cackled. 

“Or maybe it’s because Burrow wants to keep his options open. He has to be getting models thrown at him left and right, ain’t no way he hasn’t swooped in on one while being with her. He’s definitely keeping his options open until a hot enough chick comes around and he can ditch this girl. And if one doesn’t, he’ll settle for her and have his homemaker around,” one man laughed. 

“Please…stop,” you whispered, your bottom lip trembling from the anxiety that was spreading through your body. 

“Y/N…let’s just go,” Emma whispered in your ear as she noticed the pain in your eyes. 

“Look at her face, I mean she looks fucking embarrassing,” the man snarled, pointing up at you. “You got something to say or are you as incompetent as your little boyfriend?”. 

“Burrow needs to put that trash to the side and date someone more on his level,” another man howled. “If football doesn’t work for him—which it clearly isn’t because he succckkkkssss,” he yelled. “Fucking a supermodel will give him a lengthy life in the public eye at least,”. 

"Sorry babe, this is what happens when you come into the Reedddddd Kingdommm," the other man said with a sly smile, his voice laced with a hint of mischief as he sang that horrid, cheesy, ear-bleed-inducing tune, his words echoing through your mind along with everything else that was said. 

“Don’t say sorry to her? She knew what she walked into when she showed up in that god-awful number, color, and name,” another man laughed, holding his plastic cup of beer in the air.

You thought he was just raising his cup, but you were so wrong. “Go back to Shittcinnati, slut!” he yelled, throwing his cup at the shield of your suite. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Emma yelled as she quickly pulled you back from the window, both of you watching the cup hit the window and the beer splash everywhere against the shield.

"W- what," you stammered, your voice trembling with fear and confusion. You felt your throat tighten again as panic set in, and your stomach churned with unease. The room seemed to spin as you struggled to make sense of the overwhelming emotions washing over you.

“Hell no, we’re leaving now. This is fucking disgusting,” Emma said as she left your side, grabbed your things, and then led you out of the suite. You were so in shock that it felt like your mind had detached from your body and as if you were watching everything happen from a distance, unable to fully process what was going on.

End of flashback 

You were entirely zoned out for at least 10 minutes as Emma led you down the narrow, dimly lit hallway to the locker room area to see Joe.  It was like you were trapped in a dark, windowless room, the air filled with the smell of sweaty players and damp towels. You didn't know where to go, what to do, or what to say. You felt lost, alone, and out of it, as if the world around you had faded. "What the hell just happened?" you asked yourself, getting lost in the endless abyss that was your thoughts to the point where you barely heard Emma tell you she was going to the bathroom. Your brain wasn’t comprehending what had just happened, but your heart was and it hurt. Their comments hurt, the look in their eyes hurt, and you were hurt. 

“Y/N?” a heavy yet gentle voice said which snapped you back to the present. You turned your head and saw Joe walking towards you, your face quickly turning to a livelier, happier expression to hide your true feelings, he didn’t need to see you like this; not now. His feelings were what you needed to focus on, and given the kind of loss they just had, you knew he had a lot of feelings; yours weren’t as important. 

He pulled you into his chest, tucking your head in his neck and he wrapped his arms around you, “I missed you so much,” he smiled, his strained voice and body telling you how tense he was even if he tried to hide it with his smile.

"I missed you too," you mumbled against him, the rise and fall of his breathing providing a sense of comfort as you felt yourself melt away in the safe bubble that his presence always provided you. The warmth of his embrace surrounded you, and for a moment, everything else faded into the background. 

He let go of your waist and moved his hand up to your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. His warm lips against yours felt like a breath of fresh air, a breath of fresh air he had no idea you desperately needed. Joe immediately sensed the tension in your body as he kissed you. Normally, you melted into him, but this time your posture was rigid, your shoulders stiff, and your movements hesitant. His lips brushed against yours, but he could feel how dry and cracked they were, a telltale sign you’d been anxiously biting at them for hours. Joe knew this habit all too well; it was something you did when you were nervous, anxious, or lost in thought. 

After lingering for a few seconds, he gently pulled back, his brows furrowed with concern. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made it hard to look away. He could see past the surface–the forced calm and the faint smile. There, in the depth of your eyes, he found what you were trying so hard to hide. The pain, the weight of anxiety, the shadows of doubt–he saw it all.

"Something's wrong," he said quietly but firmly, his voice low. He didn’t look away, holding the gaze as if he dared you to deny what he already knew. His hand gently cupped your face, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he waited for you to let him in.

“N- nothing’s wrong,” you said as you gave him a faint smile, your smile and voice not convincing enough. 

“Y/N, I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, remember?” he smiled as he echoed what you said to him last week, “Are you okay?” he asked as he tucked your soft hair behind your ear. 

You stayed quiet for a few seconds, not wanting to burden him with your emotions since you knew he already had enough to deal with on his own. But you knew you had to tell him because you couldn’t deal with this on your own. You needed him.  

“No,” you replied with full honesty, tears pooling in your eyes as you thought about everything that happened again. You stared deeply into his tired blue eyes, noticing that there was something he was hiding from you too. “Are you okay?” you asked him, praying he didn’t brush you off like he did last week. 

“No,” he quickly replied with the same honesty you gave him, his face dropping once he admitted that he wasn’t okay, and you knew exactly why. “But we can talk about that back at home,” he added, a wave of relief washing over you once you heard him say that because that implied he wasn’t going to shut you out again.

“O- okay,” you nodded as you felt him move his hand down to yours, then pull you over to a more secluded area away from the staff, players, and anyone that would overhear anything that was meant to be private. He saw the look in your eyes and that set off a siren in his head, something had happened and you were hiding it from him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Joe asked again softly as he turned to face you, his voice laced with concern. His hand found yours, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the back of your left hand in an absentminded but soothing gesture that he knew would calm you down. “You look shaken up,” he continued, his brow furrowing as his eyes scanned your face for any clue you might give him. “Did something happen that you’re not telling me about?” His voice was gentle, but the worry in his tone was obvious. His thumb traced slow, rhythmic patterns across your knuckles, a silent reassurance that he was here and that he wouldn’t let go until you told him what was weighing on you.

You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes again, seeing that it was just Joe. You could talk to him; you could talk to him about anything because he made it very clear to you that he was always going to be there for you no matter what. He was your safety net, you could fall back and he would catch you every time. 

“Something…something happened up at the suite,” you began to say, Joe’s eyes instantly softening because he knew what you were about to say. His biggest concern, his biggest fear when it came to you and football had come to life. 

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself before beginning to remember everything. The words came out slowly at first, but once you started, it felt like a dam had burst. You told Joe everything–their horrible comments, their slurred insults, the throwing of the drink (which really pissed Joe off), and the crude remarks they’d made about you both. Every vile comment they tossed around about you, about your relationship, seemed to sting more as you repeated them. 

Joe stood silently, his face a mixture of pain and anger, but his hand never left yours. As you spoke, you could feel the tremble in your voice, the knot tightening in your chest as you tried to fight back your tears. It was clear that repeating everything was breaking something inside you. You paused for a moment, your voice cracking as you glanced up at him and tried to read his reaction.

It broke Joe’s heart to see you like this, struggling to hold yourself together. His chest tightened as he watched you fight back tears, trying to stay strong while reliving something that clearly hurt you so deeply. Each word you spoke felt like another blow, not just to him, but to you, and it killed him that he hadn’t been there to protect you from it.

“Y/N…I’m so sorry,” he softly said as he pulled you into his arms, your tears threatening to come out from this and the way he rubbed gentle circles around your back. “I’m so-,” he started to say before he got choked up. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he finished. 

“It’s okay, Joe,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you hid your face in his chest. 

“No, it’s not,” he said, his voice laced with anger now that he was realizing what happened. 

The fans. The fans of the sport he plays. They hurt the most important, valuable, and special thing in this world. They hurt you.

Joe could feel the anger boiling under his skin as he fought back the urge to go find these assholes and teach them a few things about what happened when they messed with the love of his life. He was also considering going out and finding the head of security or someone who handled these things and ripping one to them, but once he felt how you were shaking in his arms, he let those thoughts go. He knew you needed him more than you needed to see those assholes’ heads on a platter which is why he kept his anger inside and instead focused on comforting you. 

“I’m gonna see if I can get out of this conference so we can just go home,” Joe said after he pressed a comforting kiss to your head. 

“N- No,” you said as you moved your head from his chest. “I don’t want you to skip out on it because of me,”. 

“But baby-,”.

“Joe, no. Please,” you pleaded as you cupped his cheeks and ran your thumbs along his soft skin. “I’m going to be fine, I promise. You still have a job to do and I don’t want to take you away from that,” you said as you gave him a small smile.

His heart broke as he saw your bloodshot eyes, knowing he was the reason you were in this situation. He felt so guilty, realizing that if it weren’t for his presence in your life those men wouldn’t have said such awful things to you. 

What hurt him even more was knowing he couldn’t be there for you the way you truly needed. He could listen, but it wasn’t enough. He felt helpless, wanting to fix everything but knowing all he could do right now was hold your hand while you tried not to fall apart.

“Are you sure? I don’t fucking care about standing in front of a bunch of reporters who are going to ask me the same exact question 10 different times. I care about you and making sure you’re okay,” he said as he placed his hands on yours and gave them a gentle squeeze before kissing your palm.

You took a deep breath and then looked back into his eyes, seeing deep anger & sadness in them. Although you wanted him to skip and comfort you, you didn’t want to take him away from what he had to do. You never wanted to take him away from football. “Positive. Go do what you have to do, I’m going to be fine. Besides, I should get going for my flight,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

He took a deep breath as he felt himself being pulled in two different directions. He wanted to stay with you so badly but one, he knew you wouldn’t let him, and two, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to skip the conference. He gave himself a mental slap out of guilt for leaving you before giving you a small nod, “Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” he added as he pulled you back into his embrace. “I love you,” he said as he dropped a kiss on your forehead. 

You pressed a gentle kiss against his neck before tucking your head back into his chest, “I love you too,” you mumbled. The heat of his skin radiated against your cheek, and it only made you feel worse. You knew that the warmth wasn't just physical; it mirrored the anger and frustration building inside him, the emotions he was trying to hold back for you.

“Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” he whispered in your ear before holding you tighter. “Not as long as I’m here,”. 

You took another deep breath as you felt yourself melt away in his arms, wishing for him to never let go because this hug was the only time you felt at ease all day, but you always had the worst luck. 

“I gotta go,” he said softly, pulling away from the hug. The look on your face stopped him for a few seconds–it was a mix of hurt and longing that pulled at his heart. Every instinct in him screamed to pull you back into his arms and never let go, but he forced himself to step away, even though it felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done.

“Okay,” you nodded, looking down at your feet as you took another deep breath and tried to hold back your tears for maybe the 50th time in the past hour.

He used his hand to lift your chin up before cupping your cheek again and pulling you in for another kiss, this one filled with passion & reassurance. As he pulled away, he whispered “Everything’s going to be alright,” against your pink lips. “I promise,”.  

Just before stepping into the conference room, he looked back at you. His heart dropped as he saw you close your eyes and take a deep breath, your hands subtly moving to wipe away the tears you thought you had hidden from him. 

“I hate this fucking city. She doesn’t deserve any of this,” Joe thought to himself as he turned around and walked into the room, the tension in his body palpable as he struggled to keep his cool. 

No one could disrespect you like that and get away with it. Joe wasn’t going to let it happen, even though he knew you didn’t want him to say anything because you wanted to avoid a scene. His protective instinct was stronger than his desire to keep the peace, it was always that way with you.

A half-hour later 

The next half-hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you were back on the plane and heading home. Joe had chartered you and Emma a private plane for your trip home and at first, you were slightly annoyed by his grandness–telling him that you didn’t need all this and that you were just a girl and could go on a normal flight like everyone else–but now had gained a new-found appreciation because you really didn’t want to be around other people right now. This private flight gave you the quietness you so badly needed, or so you thought. 

You changed into something more comfortable, slipping into one of his sweatshirts that still carried his comforting scent, a comfort that helped calm you for the moment. Emma was curled up in the back, taking a power nap while you scrolled through your phone, watching clips from the game. The familiar sounds and sights provided a distraction, even if just for a little while.

You found yourself laughing at a clip of Joe making a funny face on the sidelines, “His football faces are hysterical,” you mumbled to yourself before you saw a notification pop up on your screen.

It was a text from your sister with a link to a tweet. 

your sister: link 🔗 

your sister: what’s going on??

You raised your eyebrow out of confusion before tapping on the link, your eyes widening as you saw the caption of the video that was tweeted. 

“Click here to see a rare statement made by Joe Burrow regarding his personal life and his girlfriend, Y/N,”. 

“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, feeling your stomach churn. A wave of nausea washed over you, tightening your insides and catching you off guard. 

When you clicked on the video, you felt the wave of sadness come back as you saw Joe standing at the podium. He looked tired and worn out, with his face showing how exhausted and defeated he felt. As you watched him, you felt a sense of worry and concern, realizing the seriousness of the situation. 

"How frustrating is this loss, Joe?" a reporter asked him.

You watched him take a deep breath before answering the question, hesitance clear in his body language. “As frustrating as I’ve had,” his words were weighed down by the burden he carried in his heart. “This one stings a bit, we just couldn’t get it done. Felt good about the game plan, I was seeing it well…uhh..you know, just didn’t do enough to get it done,”. 

You had a single tear running down your cheek, showing that the strong emotions you were trying to hold back were breaking through the wall you built. His words painted a picture of pain, a picture of pain you had never seen. He wasn’t acting like his usual self and you had never seen him so low after a loss, and that’s including the Super Bowl. Was this because of you? Or was this because of the game?

Whatever it was, you could tell he was hurting. He was hurting badly.

“Where do you go from here? 0-2 isn’t unfamiliar territory for you, but where does Joe Burrow go from here? How are you feeling? What is the level of urgency?” another reporter asked him, Joe’s eyes dropping down to the side as he avoided looking into the reporter’s eyes.

“I need to give him a hug,” you thought to yourself as you let out a soft sob. You just wanted to take all of his pain away, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feel like he let anyone down like this loss was all on him. He didn’t deserve to hurt like this. 

“Uhh,” he nervously mumbled. “I still feel good, you know…There’s a lot of work to be done, a lot of things to fix,” he sighed as he looked down for a few seconds. “The urgency is very high. We just need to go out and get a win. We have to do better, I…I have to do better,” he added, his shaky voice breaking your heart. His voice cracked on the last part, a sound you hadn’t heard from him before. It was subtle, but enough to break your heart. The vulnerability was right there just beneath the surface like he was walking on the fine line between keeping it together and falling apart. His eyes shimmered in the bright lights of the room–though no tears fell–and for a second, you thought he might break, but he held it in. 

What you saw was the kind of pain that came from someone who felt like they were carrying the world on their shoulders and didn’t know how much longer they could keep standing.

The clip then cut to the end of his press conference. Usually, he’d glance around the room before saying, “Thanks guys” and walking off the podium, but this time he didn’t exactly do that. He did his normal look around the room, but instead of walking off, he spoke up again. 

“Before I go, I just wanted to say something and I know this is very uncharacteristic of me but this is the only way I could think of getting this across,” he said as he looked around the room for nods of approval, which he got. 

He couldn’t keep it in, he had to say something. 

“I know I usually don’t talk about my private life or my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said as his eyes drooped to the floor but quickly moved back up. “And I do that to protect her and a part of my life that I keep very close to my heart, but silence can only protect things for so long. She’s been to every single one of my games for the past 5 years and not once has she ever felt scared, harassed, and disrespected–but she did tonight and I couldn’t do anything to help her.

So that’s why I need to say this,” he continued, his voice becoming stronger and more determined. “If you have something to say about me, my career, my life–literally anything,” he paused, gripping the podium even tighter as if it were the only thing keeping his emotions in check. “Say it to my face.”

There was fierceness in his tone now, a protective edge that cut through the room. “Y/N didn’t sign up for this life. I did,” he said, his voice stable and full of confidence. His eyes scanned the crowd, daring anyone to say anything to him. 

“The awful things that were said to her this evening are things I would have never thought would be said to her, but here we are,” he sighed. “And I know you all are probably confused as to what I’m talking about, but there are people out there who know exactly what I’m talking about and that’s what matters. In all the years that she’s been with me, not once has she ever been in this position before, and the fact that this happened here? Tonight?” he added while shaking his head, his piercing eyes now filled with fire. 

“She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this just because she supports me. So from now on, if anyone has something to say, leave her out of it. The fans tonight…they should be ashamed of themselves for harassing a girl that they don’t even know. That’s not going to earn you any brownie points with anyone. It’s just downright disgusting, pathetic, and embarrassing. This woman has been by my side through thick and thin, through every single up and down since my first year at LSU. She knows me better than anyone does, and she’s the single most important thing to me—even more important than football. She’s my support system, my best friend, home in human form, my person,” his eyes darken, anger and protectiveness mixing together. 

“Nobody has the right to make her feel unwelcomed because she’s my girlfriend. Nobody has the right to pass any lewd comments about her. Nobody has the right to say anything about our private relationship. If I ever hear anyone say a single thing about her, I’m not going to just brush it off,” he said, his words as sharp as the look in his eyes. “I protect the things I love which means I will protect her no matter what. Call me out, insult me, trash my name all you want. But I draw the line at Y/N. If you have anything to say, say it to my fucking face. Leave her alone,” he said before pausing for a few seconds. He held the silence that followed for a few more seconds, the severity of what he was saying took everyone by surprise because they had never seen Joe like this. The looks on all their faces told him that they heard him loud and clear even though none of this was directed at them. Then, with a last look at the room, he pushes away from the podium, his broad shoulders tense and stiff from anger, and walks off without another word.

“Oh my god,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears that were rapidly sliding down your cheeks. “Oh my god,”.

You couldn’t believe he actually said something, and he said it so publicly. 

Joe was never one to speak so candidly about his personal life, especially when it came to you. He was always careful, intentionally private, keeping the most intimate parts of his world hidden away from the scrutiny of the outside. It wasn’t that he didn’t want people to know how much he cared about you–if anything, it was the opposite. He knew all too well the potential effects of letting everything out in the open; the extreme opinions, the relentless criticism, the intrusion into your lives that could come crashing down if he let his guard down for even a moment.

He always tried to shield you from that. His love wasn’t about grand displays or public statements; it was in the quiet moments, the gentle looks, and the way he held your hand just a little tighter when the world around him was too loud. He kept you out of the spotlight as much as he could, not because he was ashamed, but because he wanted to protect you from the ugly side of his world–the part that didn’t care about your feelings or boundaries. 

But even Joe knew that silence could only go so far. Eventually, its weight would press down, creating a wall between you and the life he lived every day. And tonight, when you felt disrespected and harassed just for being there for him, it broke the carefully kept distance he’d worked so hard to build.

So now that he had actually said something, you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You were a lowkey kind of girlfriend; the majority of fans knew you were dating Joe but you were never the kind of girlfriend to flaunt that you had the most desired NFL player wrapped around your finger. What he just did…what he just said put the spotlight on you and you were terrified that this would do more harm than good. Especially for him. 

But you knew that this was Joe. 

Your Joe.

You knew how much he tried to keep this part of his life away from the public eye and the fact that he went out and said something was enough to tell you that he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. He wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you, he meant what he said. 

Nothing was going to hurt you as long as he was with you. 

An hour or so later 

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Emma said to you as she pulled you in for a hug, swaying you back and forth on the doorstep of your home. 

“Are you sure you can’t stay until tomorrow?” you asked as you pulled away from the hug.

“I wish I could but you know I have that meeting in the morning,” she pouted as she picked up her bag. 

“Right,” you nodded. “Get some sleep on the flight, okay? It’ll be pretty late by the time you get back home and you need to be fresh tomorrow for your big meeting,” you added.

“You need to get some sleep too, Y/N,” she said while patting your back. “I know Joe is only an hour or so behind you, but you should get some sleep. Today was rough,”. 

You wished you could get some sleep, but your mind was moving at the speed of light right now so sleep was completely out of the question. You were wide awake. “I’ll try,” you lied with a faint smile. You knew Joe would be wide awake too, his brain was probably moving faster than the speed of light and you could just picture him staring out of the plane window, jaw clenched and eyes focused as he thought about everything over and over. He’d go through the motions of what went wrong, then run through it again and try to find ways he could’ve fixed it–even though the game was longgggg over.

But that was just Joe. This was a part of his process and there wasn’t much you could do other than be there for him whenever he got out of his head and needed someone to talk to.

“Don’t worry too much,” she added with a sincere smile. “Everything will be fine as long as you have Joe with you,” she said, her words matching exactly what Joe said to you earlier and what he showed during his press conference. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “I know,”.

She was right though, it would be fine as long as he was by your side. You needed to keep reminding yourself that he wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt you. 

—

After finishing up your conversation with Emma, you walked her to her waiting Uber and exchanged one last goodbye before watching the car pull away. As you came back into the house, you sank down onto a barstool at the kitchen island, your mind swirling with a mix of emotions and thoughts that needed sorting.

You thought that Joe would most likely be in a mood once he got home since he had all the time on the plane to drive himself insane by reliving the game over and over. You hoped his mood would be slightly better than how it was last week after the game, not knowing if you had it in you to deal with everything if he came home with the same mindset and attitude as last week.

Add the fan situation to the mix and then you had the perfect recipe for a ‘stand-off angry Joe’ who would blame himself for absolutely everything and push you away while he self-destructed. You knew he would blame himself for the drunk idiots and their disgusting words towards you even though it was far from his fault, and you knew that it wouldn’t be easy to get him to move past it. You just couldn’t have him shut you out again, you needed him to talk to you more than anything this time. 

You shook your head, “Stop, Y/N. He said he’d talk to me once he got home and he meant that. He knows that he can’t put himself in that situation again and shut himself down. I don’t need to worry,” reminding yourself of what he said to you earlier and the week before. “If he happens to be in a mood then I just need to do something to stop him from being in a mood. He’ll open up to me on his own terms, I can’t push him too hard,” you nodded as you looked up. 

You wanted to talk to him about everything more than anything, wanted to pick at his brain and allow him to open up to you, but you knew better than to push him too hard. He hated being cornered, but you also couldn’t let him hide under his shell. Easing him into it and allowing him to naturally come to you is what you needed him to do. If he came back in a mood, you knew you’d need something to act as a buffer, something to soak up the weight of his emotions before they pulled him back to the edge like last time. You needed to do something to ease his tension while distracting him for a little bit before he started to unpack the weight of his emotions onto you. 

Your eyes moved to the TV, putting on one of his favorite movies would work, right?

“No, he’d just zone out and think about the game,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped off the barstool. 

Your eyes then moved to the couch, cuddling would work, right?

“Mm, Mm,” you shook your head. “Quiet time and cuddling would let the voices in his head get louder,”. 

Your eyes moved toward the kitchen, and suddenly an idea sparked as your eyes landed on the small orange pumpkin decoration you’d placed by the knives–an early start on your fall decorating. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the solution hit you. "Pumpkin pie," you whispered to yourself, a grin rising on your face. "Obviously."

Pumpkin Pie was more than just a dessert for Joe; it was more of a feeling of comfort or a reminder that even when everything felt like it was crumbling, there would still be little joys to be found in the little things. You could never get sick of the childlike smile on his adorable face when he gets the first whiff of cinnamon and nutmeg. You wanted to see him that happy all the time, and you were determined to make that happen. 

“Hopefully that’ll work if he comes back acting like The Hulk,” you giggled as you walked into the pantry and started gathering all the ingredients you’d need to make his favorite dessert. This was a great distraction (for the time being) for him because it would let him drift away from football for a little bit. This was a great distraction for him and an even better distraction for you, even if you didn’t want to admit it. Deep down, you were still shaken up over everything that happened at the game, and sitting in this big, empty house with nothing but your thoughts for company? You knew exactly where that would lead. You had just as much of a tendency to spiral as Joe did, maybe even more than him sometimes. 

You might not have realized that by focusing so much on his emotions, you were ignoring your own. You were used to being the calm and steady support for him, but it took a toll on you. Comforting him and worrying about his stress made you bury your own feelings, convincing yourself that they didn't matter as much as his.

By concentrating on him, you could avoid dealing with your own feelings, which is exactly what you’re doing right now. But eventually, everything you were holding back would catch up with you. For now, it was easier to pretend that baking this pie is enough, that it's the solution to both your problems.

—

The hour passed by pretty quickly as you worked on the Pie for Joe. You found yourself forgetting about the game as you bounced around the kitchen while you made the sweet dessert for him. Baking was often a big stress reliever for you and you always found yourself letting loose while accidentally covering yourself in loads of flour and sugar. You loved to bake and Joe loved to eat what you baked, it was the perfect dynamic. 

You had placed the Pie in the oven not too long ago and were now cleaning up, the TV in the background however had quickly snapped you out of your playful daze. 

The channel on the TV was showing an analysis of the game and your ears couldn’t help but perk up every time they mentioned Joe. They were showing constant replays of all the moments Joe was frustrated during the game, on the field, and on the sidelines. They were talking about how the Bengals should have won this game and how Joe outperformed Patrick. They were saying that this loss would for sure put a dent into the team’s confidence going forward, even going as far as talking about how their playoff odds were rapidly decreasing as well.

“A bunch of fucking idiots,” you mumbled under your breath as you stared up at the TV, your eyes welling with tears yet again without you even realizing it. How could they count them out so early? How could they count out Joe so early?

Then the TV showed a clip from his post-game press conference which really did it for you because you had to hear him mention the events from earlier that you were trying so hard to ignore. 

“It was just not a good day overall for Joe. He didn’t play as well as he usually does, even made some terrible mistakes that were very unlike him to do…and his post-game conference showed a side of him none of us have ever seen. He seems distracted, unlike how he usually is out on the field. Was last year the last time we saw that ‘Elite QB’ that he claims he is? Is there a bigger issue than the team’s unpreparedness that is affecting his game? Is his personal life burdening him and serving as a distraction?” the analyst said. 

You knew how intense his life was, and how demanding football could be. You had always tried to make things easier for him. But what if in trying to be supportive, you were unknowingly adding to the pressure? 

Was his personal life burdening him? Were you burdening him?

“Why does this always have to happen to him?” you sobbed, the words coming out before you could stop them. It was like the emotional dam you had built had just burst and all the feelings you’d held back for hours–maybe even longer–were rushing out. Your floury hands gripped the counter as your tears fell down and mixed with the sprinkled flour all around the marble top. 

You couldn’t keep it in anymore. The pressure, the criticism Joe was under, it was all so suffocating. Every time he had a bad game or a few bad moments, it was like the world turned against him. People couldn’t wait for him to slip up just so they could tear him down. 

“He works s- so hard, they just don’t get it,” you cried as you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “He’s trying so hard, they don’t see how much pressure he puts on himself,”. 

But this wasn’t just about him, it was about you too. The pressure you put on yourself for always being the strong one, being strong for him, was suffocating. You were tired of acting like it didn’t hurt; the comments and the criticism not only about him but about you too. 

“Is it my fault? Am I pushing him too much? When I tell him how great he is and remind him of all the amazing shit he’s done, is that making him feel too pressured to be that guy again?” you sniffled. 

You were starting to blame yourself for everything, which is the last thing you should have been doing. This was far from your fault, but your brain was so clouded by negativity and the lingering words of those drunk men for you to be able to think clearly. All you could see was everything you said to him that could have made him lose his focus and cause all this. You couldn’t see that this was all because of everything else around him—the media, the outside noise. 

“And I shouldn’t have told him about what ha- happened at the suite,” you said as your sobs got louder. “He’s not focused because of me. It’s my fault,” you cried, your breaths getting shorter and shorter as your heart started racing. 

Before you think about anything else, you hear the buzzing sound of the garage opening fill your ears. 

Joe was home. 

“Fuck,” you quickly wiped your tears and switched the TV to a different channel before he came in. He didn’t need to see you like this, especially since you thought that him seeing you like this was the root cause of all of this. You were supposed to be strong, so you needed to act like it. His support system crumbling wasn’t what he needed right now because who would be there for him when he needed someone? 

You heard the door open behind you and quickly fixed your face before you turned around to see him, and what you saw broke your heart again. You immediately noticed the bags under his eyes, the defeated look on his face, and his miserable body language. 

You patted your floury hands on your sweatpants before walking over to him, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt him relax against you before you placed a hand around the nape of his neck and pushed his head into the crook of your neck. “Hey,” he whispered against you as you started threading your fingers through his hair. 

“Hi,” you whispered as you placed a kiss on his warm cheek, feeling him let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it in for a while. 

“I missed you,” he said while slightly shifting his head to look at you, an adorable boyish pout on his face. 

“I know,” you smiled at him while leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too,”. 

He leaned down to your neck, “Was your flight okay?” he asked you as he peppered it with slow, soft kisses, his gentle touches slowly relieving the tension you had inside of you. 

“Yeah,” you lied, not mentioning how most of it was spent thinking about everything he said in his post-game press conference. “Was your flight okay?” you asked him.

“It was alright,” he sighed. “I didn’t get much sleep so I just killed time by staring out the window or reading that book you got me,” he said. 

“Wait, are you tired?” you asked as you let go of him; thinking that he’d be wide awake was a mistake. Why would he be wide awake? He had a rough game and even rougher post-game, he was probably so tired. 

“No, No,” he shook his head, his hands settling on either side of your hips and preventing you from moving too far away from him. “I’m wide awake but I tried to sleep on the plane just to pass the time. Obviously, that didn’t work though,” he softly laughed, his nose wiggling a few seconds later. “What smells good?” he asked, that childlike smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he caught a whiff of the cinnamon and nutmeg. 

You let out a small giggle before leaning up to press another kiss to his lips, “Pumpkin Pie,” you said a few seconds later, now feeling his hands wrap around your torso. 

“For me?” he asked while raising an eyebrow, a playful smirk rising on his lips. His hand slipped under your shirt, the warmth of his hand radiating through your skin and sending waves of comfort throughout your body. It was as if his touch had the power to quiet every worry in your mind and body, grounding you in a way he didn’t even realize. 

You let out a dramatic sigh, “Nah, it’s for my other 6’3 quarterback boyfriend. He should be coming around in a few minutes,” you teased. 

“Ha. Ha,” he laughed monotonously before continuing, “The only 6’3 quarterback boyfriend you need is already here. Thanks, baby,” he smiled a few seconds later as he pulled you even closer and pulled you up for a kiss. This one was a bit spicier than the others as his lips were instantly tugging on your bottom lip while he casually slipped his tongue into your mouth, earning a soft but sultry moan from you. His laugh vibrated through his chest and into the kiss, a shift in his energy fully visible. It was playful but with an edge. 

“Mmm,” you hummed as you placed your hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. “As much as I would love to keep that going, you’ve got a sweet treat to eat,” you winked.

“Oh,” he said while raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let’s go upstairs then,” he smirked while grabbing your hand and jokingly pulling you towards the stairs. 

“Joeee,” you said while pulling him back. “Not that kind of sweet treat,” you added which you received a pouty look from him in return. “...Okaaaaay, maybe later?”. 

Normally he’d respond with another flirty comment but when he stared into your eyes a little more carefully and noticed how red and puffy they were, all playfulness left his body as all he could think about was the fact that you had likely been crying, likely because of him and he knew that. 

“Y/N…” he began to say before you interrupted him. 

“Come sit down, I’ll pull the Pie out and cut you a slice,” you smiled while grabbing his hand and leading him back over to the kitchen island, not giving him a second to say anything. Even when you were clearly upset, you still were only thinking about him. 

“I don’t deserve her,” he thought to himself as he watched you plaster a smile on your face and focus on him and only him. “I don’t deserve her at all. I feel so guilty for everything that happened to her, especially because it’s all my fault, and she’s still only thinking about me? ”. 

You oftentimes did this, focusing on Joe and only him while ignoring everything else around you. He was the center of your universe and everything else around you faded into the background. This habit of yours formed early on in your relationship back at LSU. Then, it was all about supporting him through his tiring practices, stressful exams, and important games. You devoted yourself to making sure he felt loved, understood, and cared for while he tried to make his mark on the field. 

And now, even after all these years, your habit still hasn’t changed.

Joe saw it every time, the way you focused on him, how you gave him every ounce of your attention all the time. He didn’t say much about it, but you knew he noticed. The look in his eyes would always soften, as if he both loved and hated the fact that you put him first. 

It had been like that through the whirlwind of college football, and now in the glimmer of the NFL spotlight. You were always by his side, pouring all of your energy into him and sometimes leaving none for yourself. He knew you like the back of his hand so he could tell when you were giving more than you could handle. He appreciated you so much, you were his anchor but he worried about you–worried that you carried too much of his weight without letting yourself be vulnerable too. 

Even tonight, when you should’ve been taking care of yourself, you were focused on him–it was always him. It had been this way for so long, and while he knew you’d never stop looking out for him, he hoped that you’d let him do the same for you on the same level you did for him. As much as he needed you, he also knew that you needed him just as much, even if you didn’t always admit it. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he said again, this time out loud as he slipped onto a barstool and rested his chin on his hand. 

“Great question. You must have done some severe manifestation to bag me,” you teased as you spun around to take out a plate from the cabinet. 

Joe let out a soft chuckle, “Severe manifestation, stalking your Insta for about 2 weeks to see if you had a guy already before asking you out, memorizing your class schedule and your favorite lunch spots so I could ‘accidentally’ run into you…it’s all the same,” but stopped once he saw you take only one plate out from the cabinet. “You’re not eating?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Not hungry,” you said while flashing him the fakest smile possible as you placed the plate down in front of him before turning around to pull the Pie out of the oven. Who were you kidding? You were so hungry to the point where you could legit eat one of those fake display fruits people put out. The only thing you’d had to eat today was a bottle of orange juice and a few bites of a banana muffin this morning—other than the Vodka Cran you had during the game. You just didn’t think you could stomach anything during or after the game because your stomach was in literal knots. 

You hoped that he didn’t realize you were lying to him but one thing about Joe was that he could always tell when you were lying to him. He paid extra attention to the little things about you–the sudden lightness in your voice, avoiding eye contact with him, and the oh-so-obvious fake smile. He hated when he noticed these signs because that meant you weren’t being truthful with him for whatever reason. 

Without saying a word, he got up from his chair and walked around the island to the kitchen cabinets. You saw him moving out of the corner of your eye just as you were closing the oven and carefully placing the warm pumpkin pie on the counter.

“What?” he asked you, noticing that you were staring at him as he pulled out another plate and set it on the island next to his. 

“Why’d you take out another one?” you asked him before you moved the Pie plate over to the island and set it near the dinner plates. Joe let out a soft laugh, the adorable crinkles in the corner of his eyes popping out as placed a gentle hand on both sides of your shoulders from behind and walked you back over to the island barstools.

“For you, silly,” he chuckled in your ear, then pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before walking back to the kitchen.

“But I’m not hungry,” you said as your eyes followed him around the kitchen, watching him take out a knife and a can of whipped cream from the fridge. 

“Look at who you’re talking to,” he smiled as he began cutting a slice of Pie. I know you like the back of my hand, Y/N. I know you haven’t eaten anything all day because I know you never eat before or during a game because you want to wait so you can eat with me. Also, you feel like if you eat something you’re going to throw it up during halftime because of your nerves,”. 

Your eyes softened as you watched him set a slice on your plate, and then use the whipped cream to add a small heart on top. 

He knew you and your habits all too well. You shouldn’t be surprised though, this was Joe. He noted and noticed everything about you and had been doing it since the day you first met. It first started off as him noting how you liked your morning coffees before classes (so he could show up at your dorm with it and have an excuse to walk you to class) and noticing how you’d start fidgeting with the birthstone ring on your right hand whenever you felt anxious in crowded public settings (parties, at his practices, his games). Whenever he saw you doing that, he made sure to stop whatever he was doing and tend to your needs–doing whatever you needed him to do without questioning it.

Now, it had led to him noting how you liked your morning protein smoothies (so he could make them for you, obviously) before you went in for your morning workout in the gym he had designed for the both of you in your shared home. And then it was noticing all your little habits, such as fidgeting with the birthstone necklace he gave you—which had his birthstone on it—whenever you felt anxious now. 

Reminding yourself of how beautifully things had changed and flourished in your relationship, how Joe so easily flipped your entire world upside down by just looking into your eyes one hot afternoon during a football practice you and your friends stumbled into, always brought a smile to your face. Even in moments when you were far from happy.

That was just the Joe effect.  

You watched as he set a slice on his plate, then added whipped cream to his before placing everything down and joining you on the other side of the island. He sat down on his stool and turned to look at you and saw that you were too far from him, which he wasn’t having for even a second. 

“Mm Mm, too far,” he shook his head as he grabbed the beam of your stool and pulled you over, a small shriek leaving your lips at how he easily pulled you over as if he was pulling a feather over. 

Your knees were pretty much bumping into each other, that’s just how close he pulled you over. It was such a small gesture, but the significance was far more deeper. He wanted you close in every single way possible. 

“My big strong man,” you giggled as you placed a hand on his knee, giving it a soft squeeze and then starting to rub it through his sweatpants’ fabric. He leaned over and started peppering featherlight kisses around your jawline and down to your neck, his lips so soft and plush-like. “But I really don’t think I can stomach the Pie regardless of how good it probably is,” you laughed. 

Joe leaned back to stare into your eyes, the redness in them mocking him and his efforts to make you feel better. It was a reminder of how well you hid your feelings from him, something you both had in common. You both would hide your feelings from each other in order to protect each other. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you up in his arms and take away the hurt that hid behind those beautiful, tear-stained eyes, but this was all he could do for you right now without pushing you too much. 

“Please? For me?” he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and placing his hand over yours which was rubbing his knee. He cupped your hand and flipped it so he could intertwine your fingers, then picked it up and pressed gentle kisses on the back of your hand while staring into your eyes. Both actions cause a feeling of comforting warmth to fill your stomach. 

You really didn’t feel like eating anything, but you did all this to take his mind off the game and lighten his mood, and not doing what he asked wasn’t going to help at all. The pouty look on his face was your biggest weakness so that wasn’t helping either, you could never say no to that adorable face. “Okayyy,” you giggled, giving in to his ask and then seeing his entire body light up when you grabbed the fork. 

“That’s my girl,” he smiled as his baby blue eyes lit up with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. He then leaned in and pressed another soft kiss to your cheek, the gentle touch lingering long enough for your belly to flutter. 

He then picked up his fork and dug into the pie, taking a big, generous first bite. His face went from playful to pure bliss at the first taste of the cinnamon and pumpkin. “Oh, babyyyy,” he groaned, closing his eyes for a second as he savored the taste. “This is so fucking good,”. 

“That sounds all too familiar,” you smirked while raising an eyebrow at the sounds and words that left his mouth. 

“Dirty dirty mind,” he shook his head and laughed while chewing on the pie in his mouth. 

You smiled as you watched him take more bites of the pie, feeling a bit better because of his reaction. The tension in your body, for a second, seemed to fizzle out as you watched him enjoy what you did for him. The warmth of the kitchen, smell of the fresh pie, and the soft sounds of the TV in the background made everything feel normal again–like a safe space where you both could just be yourselves. 

He took another bite, his eyes darting over to you as you continued to stare at him with hearteyes, “I’m serious, you’ve outdone yourself,” he said, his voice muffled with a mouthful of pie. “Don’t know what I’d do without you..or this pie,” he winked. 

“I love you,” you blushed as you leaned over and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek.

“I love you more, but,” he said as he swallowed the bite in his mouth, “You’re still not eating,”. 

You looked down and saw the fork in your hand and the untouched pie next to you, realizing you were so caught up in watching him that you hadn’t had any of the pie yourself. 

“Oops,” you said while pursing your lips and staring down at the dessert. 

Joe used his fork and stuck it into your pie, slicing a generous piece out before using his other hand to lift your chin. “Open up,” he said, raising his eyebrows and holding the fork in front of your mouth.

You laughed softly, “Seriously?”. The look in his charming eyes told you that he was 100% serious. 

“Come on, you’ve gotta eat something,” he insisted, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine sincerity. He moved the fork closer, allowing the sweet smell of pumpkin to enter your nose while he rested his other hand on your knee this time, squeezing and rubbing just like you were doing to his knee. 

You rolled your eyes before leaning in and opening your mouth to take a bite, the moment the pie touched your tongue you felt the warmth and sweetness explode in your mouth. Man, were you good at baking. 

Joe attentively watched your reaction as you chewed on the slice of pie, a look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you swallow the bite. “See? Isn’t that good?” he asked. 

You nodded, not being able to hide the smile rising on your face. “Yeah, you were right,” you giggled, the spices lingering on your tongue. “That’s soooooooooo good. But I think it tasted even better because you were feeding me,” you winked.

“Well, there’s more cominggggg,” he grinned as he stuck his fork in your pie again and picked up another bite before bringing it up to your mouth. “Woooosh,” the noise coming from his mouth mimicking a rocket ship as he zig-zagged his hand around. 

You smiled and stared at him for a few seconds, your heart swelling at the look in his eyes. It was a look of comfort, of relaxation. Last week, the look in his eyes was cold, it was tense. But this time, it was just filled with ease and love and it was all because of you. 

“Aaaaah,” you said as you opened your mouth for another bite of the delicious pie being fed to you by your favorite person on the planet. 

—

After letting him feed you the rest of your pie, he gathered your dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink before coming back to his barstool and sitting down next to you again. He leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet kiss, the taste of pumpkin on both your lips making it even sweeter than usual. 

“Mmm, that tasted good,” you hummed as you playfully bumped his knee with yours. You were expecting a flirtatious response from him, somehow roping in the concept of sex into the conversation because he seemed to be in that mood earlier, but instead, he just stayed quiet while staring down at the counter. 

“Uh, oh,” you thought to yourself, your hips squirming in your seat at the sudden change in the atmosphere. It felt as if the room got darker, maybe even colder–just like the inside of Joe’s brain. You brought your hand up and started rubbing his back, “You okay?” you asked, nervously biting your lip because of the look on his face. 

“Yeah, just thinking,” he sighed, placing his hand on your knee again. 

“Thinking about anything in particular?” you said while giving him a heartfelt smile. 

He took a deep breath before responding, “Talk to her, Joe. Don’t push her away again,” he thought to himself. “…D- do you think we can talk about it? About the game?” he quietly asked you, meeting your eyes a few seconds after saying that. 

Joe tried to forget about it, and he did for about half an hour because of you and the pie you made for him. But he knew better than to keep everything in like that, knowing what would happen if all that stayed inside of him and built up. He refused to go back there, especially after getting a flashback of what that felt like last week. 

The sudden change in his voice, his eyes, and his body language threw you for a loop. You thought this would distract him for a bit longer, but it didn’t.

But wait. Why did you want to distract him for longer? You wanted him to open up to you, confide in you. So why did you want him to not think about the game?

Was it because you were the one who didn’t want to talk about it? You didn’t want to unpack those feelings, not his, but your own?

“No. He needs me right now. I can’t let my feelings get in the way,” you thought to yourself, “Be strong for him, Y/N. Stop being selfish.”

“Y- yeah,” you nodded. “What’s going on in your head?” you asked as you slid your hand up to his hair, threading the strands through your fingers while lightly scratching his scalp. 

“I’m just so frustrated, Y/N,” he sighed. “We were supposed to win, we were going to win,”.

“I know,” you said, letting out a shaky breath as your body braced itself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“And I played like total shit. That fumble just gifted them 6 extra points and if I didn’t lose the ball like a fucking idiot, we would have likely won the game,” he said as his eyes welled with tears. “And we’re right back where we were. 0-2 as fucking usual and it’s my fault,” he sniffled. 

“It’s not your fault, Joey,” you frowned. “The whole team could have done better, especially the defense. You did so good, much better than last week,”.

“Not good enough,” he said, his voice laced with self-criticism. “It wasn’t good enough…I wasn’t good enough. I try so hard, you know? I do everything I’m supposed to, even more, 90% of the time. But things..they..they never go my way,” he added, the crack in his voice breaking your heart for the millionth time today. 

“I know, Joe. Trust me, I know,” you said as you lowered your head to catch his eyes. “But you can’t be this hard on yourself, you know that right?”.

“The flags, the Ja’marr thing, the stupid fucking mistakes. It all just went to shit so fucking fast,” he said as he turned to meet your eyes, ignoring what you said. “And our playoff odds keep decreasing which makes this even worse. If we go 0-3, I don’t think-,”.

“Joe, stop,” you said while moving your hand to cup his cheek. “You’re doing it again,”.

“I just…I can’t help it? I just feel like I let everyone down again,” he started to say and quickly kept going once he saw you start to open your mouth to say something. “And I know. I know what you told me last week, I heard you loud and clear. I thought I could go out and get it done this week and I acted like it too. During practice, in the press conference, over the phone to you, in the locker room to the guys–but once again I fucked up, and look at what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as you saw his bottom lip start to quiver. “I k- know why we lost but I do- don’t at the same time?” he choked out, a single tear falling from his eye and sliding down his cheek. “I did everything I could and I still feel like I’m letting everyone down,” he repeated, his breaths getting shorter. “Especially you,” he whispered. 

You felt your eyes pool with tears, your emotions threatening to spill out as you stared at him. Seeing him like this, weak and questioning himself, was the one thing that could break you into a thousand pieces. He was so confident and strong in the face of adversity but in these quiet moments, those voices in his head were the loudest and he couldn’t help it. The doubts crept in and he started to undermine his success, and that shattered you. 

Watching him struggle with his confidence cut deeper than any of your own insecurities. You knew how much he gave to football, how much he sacrificed for this, how much he loved what he did. It crushed you to see him struggle like this and for a second think that he was letting anyone down. To you, Joe was more than enough–on and off the field–and seeing him question that was making you feel an unbearable amount of pain. 

“Joe,” you whispered, your voice shaky just like his. “You’re not letting anyone down. Especially me, I swear. You don’t see yourself the way I do,”. 

You saw his glossy eyes soften, searching yours for any sort of comfort and relief but as he gazed into your eyes, you knew he could see the emotions you were holding back. The mix of fear and love, concern and support. His vulnerability mirrored your own, and that made this hurt even more.

“I know you feel like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders and it feels like those shoulders are wobbly right now,” you nodded, feeling the tension–the burden of everything he carries both on and off the field radiate through his eyes. “But I promise you, Joe,” you whispered. “You’re strong enough to handle all of this. Even when it feels like too much, even when you doubt yourself. You’ve shown how strong and capable you are time and time again and everyone knows how talented you are. Don’t let one game define a legendary, history-making career, Joe. Don’t let yourself forget who you are. You have all of this because of your talent, your success, and your abilities. You’re the kid from small-town Athens, the third-stringer from Ohio State, the star quarterback of the LSU Tigers, and the franchise quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals. But most importantly, you’re one of the best to ever step onto that field and hold onto that football. Don’t forget who that kid is, who that boy is, who that man is, and who that player is. I know it feels like you’ve been hitting wall after wall every season, feeling like you’re losing something each time you get onto the field but everything you lose is a step you take,” you said. “You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you revise and get better each time. That’s what you do, Joe,”. 

“Don’t feel pressured to do everything on your own. You don’t need to blame yourself for the loss, you don’t need to blame yourself for the slow start. You don’t have to do this alone,” you continued, your voice raw but completely reassuring. “Everyone’s here with you, Joe. I’m here with you. We’ll carry the weight together, okay?”.

“No.” he shook his head. “You don’t…you won’t do that,” he said, his voice rougher but still laced with a tone that made you want to never stop crying. “I don’t want you in any situation like that, not after what happened today,”. 

You felt your stomach churn at the mention of today’s events. You really didn’t want to go there, but you knew you had no choice. Majority of the reason Joe was upset was because of what you had to deal with during the game. Yeah, he was frustrated about the loss, but the way you were treated made it so much more worse because that was a direct hit to his heart. “Joe, I-,” you began to say before you heard a soft sob come from in front of you.

“I’m s- so sorry, Y/N,” he said as he looked back into your eyes, his tears now fully streaming down his face. “I’m so fucking sorry that you have to deal with all of my shit. And year by year it just keeps getting worse for you and I can’t do anything to stop it. When I first started off in the league, your only worries were if I was able to go out there and throw the ball and have a chance to show everyone what I was capable of. N- now, you have to constantly worry about my in- injuries and what people say about m- me,” he sobbed, his tears falling faster and his body starting to shake. 

You quickly reached out for him, placing your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him over so that he was laying his head on your chest. “Joe, baby,” you whispered, cradling his head as you tried to keep your tears at bay. 

“Y- you had to pick up so much slack every time I g- got hurt,” he cried into your chest as you threaded your fingers through his hair. “You did so much for me that nobody ever saw, nobody will ever see. And they treat you like that? Because they fucking hate m- me?”.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, Joe,” you calmly said to him as you leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. “I’m fine, I swear,” you sniffled, holding back your tears as best as you could.

“N- no,” he continued, “You’re not. I knew you were crying b- before I got home. It was because of me, right? Because of what I said in the press conference?” he asked, looking up at you through his wet, glossy eyes.

Your eyebrows softened, and before you could even find the right words, your eyes said everything for you.

“I knew it,” he continued as he hid his face in your chest again, your shirt fully soaked from his tears. 

“J- Joe…,” you trembled, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Stay strong, Y/N. He needs his support system right now,” you thought to yourself. “Please stop crying, baby. Please? You don’t need to apologize for a single thing,” you continued with a more stable voice. “I know you’re trying to protect me,”. 

“Yes, I do," Joe choked out. "Because now you have to worry about getting insulted and harassed by random fans who have some vendetta against me, but think it’s okay to take it out on y- you." His voice broke, and you could see the guilt flooding his eyes. "You’re the only person who’s truly stuck by my side through everything. You do so much for me, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that but you are, because of me. You had the most awful things said to you and it was all my fucking fault. It was my fault you were crying. It was my fault you couldn’t enjoy the game. It was my fault that earlier after the game, you felt like you had to hide this from me,".

He took a shaky breath, the weight of his words hitting him harder as he continued. "You can’t even go to a fucking game without getting hurt because of me," his shoulders trembled slightly. "I- I’m always hurting you, aren’t I?" he wept, those last four words coming out in a broken whisper as if they physically pained him to say. His grip on you tightened as if you were the only thing holding him together and preventing him from crumbling into a pile of dust.

Hearing him say those words ripped you apart. He was hurting, and it shattered you to think that he saw himself as the cause of your pain. 

“Joe,” you said as you tightened your embrace around him, “You’re not hurting me,” you added as you gently cupped his face with one hand. “You’re not,”.

“You’ve never hurt me, Joe. Not once,” you said as you wiped away the tears that were freely falling down his face. “What those people say, what they do–it’s not your fault. None of that is in your control and it doesn’t, for a second, change how much I care for you. How much I care for this world you’ve built for us,” you blinked your tears away and added. 

Joe shook his head, refusing to accept your words, but you continued on regardless. “You mean everything to me and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. You’ve never once hurt me in the 5 years we’ve been together. You’ve never given me a reason to think about running for the hills, never given me a reason to ever think about what my life would be like without you. You’ve showered me with so much love, so much happiness that I never thought was possible. You are perfect, Joe. In every aspect. It’s going to take a lot more than just some idiotic, insecure, flawed football bros to get to me and leave your side. Hell, the entirety of Kansas City isn’t even enough to pull me away from you,” you said as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Please stop blaming yourself for what other people do. It’s not your fault that the team lost this game and it’s not your fault that some men in this world just have small-dick energy all the time,” the last bit of what you said lighthearted on purpose. 

You notice a small, brief smile begin to form on his face after you finish talking. It was faint, but it was there. Seeing that smile, even just a glimpse of it, filled your chest with relief. Your words had reached him, if only a little. “I love you, Joe. I love you no matter what,” you said while resting your chin on his head and holding him close to your heart as you felt him start to loosen up. 

“I- I love you too,” he whispered against your chest, pushing himself deeper into your embrace and wishing he could just melt into your body and forget about all his worries. 

In that moment, you could feel how much he needed this–how much he needed you. 

Your words and your touch were his anchor, his support. You grounded him when the weight of everything threatened to pull him under and in these quiet moments, that anchor allowed himself to be vulnerable and to lean on you completely. And you were more than willing to hold him up, even if it meant setting your feelings aside. 

You moved your hand to his back, gently rubbing circles around his frame in soothing patterns to ease his discomfort. “I’ve got you,” you whispered softly, feeling his breathing even out second by second. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” you whispered before holding him a little tighter. 

An hour later 

You got him to calm down a little, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t something that could be fixed in one conversation. It wasn’t just about losing the game tonight, it was about you. And when it came to you, Joe never played around. This wasn’t going to be an easy thing for him to move past and the look that lingered in his eyes told you that. Honestly, you hadn’t even moved past it yourself. But you didn’t want to unload your feelings onto him, not right now. He needed you to be his rock, his safe place, and you couldn’t let yourself add to the storm swirling in his head.

You brought him upstairs a little after he stopped crying and calmed down. You told him that he needed to shower, not because he stank, but just so he could wash the day off himself. 

While he sat on the bed, you went into the closet and pulled out his favorite pair of sweats, clean boxers, and a comfortable shirt for him and set them inside the bathroom before turning the shower on and setting it to the temperature you knew he loved. You then motioned for him to come inside with a sweet smile on your face. 

“Your shower awaits, my king,” you playfully bowed and said, earning a soft chuckle from him. “Thank god he can still laugh,” you thought to yourself. 

“Thank you,” he rasped with a smile, his voice still scratchy from crying earlier, as he slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom where you were, “My queen,” he added with a soft kiss to your lips. 

After watching him get undressed and slip into the shower, you quietly went back out to grab another shirt to replace the tear-stained one that was clinging to your body. When you stepped back inside, the sound of the water running and the silhouette of Joe moving against the foggy glass filled the space. You walked over to the vanity, setting the shirt down on the counter. For a second, you stood still, gripping the edges of the counter. Your eyes met your own reflection in the mirror and you saw the undeniable tiredness behind them as well as the redness from the tears you shed earlier. Your eyes softened for a second, the urge to start crying coming back but before a tear could fall from your eye, you wiped your eyes, “Hold it together, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “He needs you right now,”. 

“Y/N?” a voice from behind you asked. 

You quickly turned around and saw Joe peeking his head out from the shower, his hair soaking wet and water droplets sliding down his body and onto the floor. “Can you come in, please?” he asked with a pout. 

You quietly stared at him for a few seconds before quickly breaking eye contact and flinging your clothes off so you could join him, which resulted in another adorable chuckle from his lips. You needed to wash the day off just as much as he did. 

Once you slipped into the shower with him, the heat of the water instantly embraced you. Before you could fully settle in, Joe pulled you into him, his hands gently gripping your waist as his lips found yours with a frantic intensity. The way his lips were moving against yours was deep, raw, and full of emotion. He needed to feel you, he needed to remind himself that you were still there and that you weren’t going to leave. 

His hand slid up your back, which was now wet as both of you were standing under the rainfall shower head, his gentle fingers tracing shapes around your back as he deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand moving into his wet hair as the other hand rubbed his shoulder. 

His lips didn’t leave yours for a single second as the water poured over both of you. Every inch of your skin was drenched, the droplets sliding down your body, but that didn’t matter. The water was washing away all of the emotions of the day and was leaving you two in your own intimate bubble. However, nothing about what was happening in the shower carried any sexual energy, it was pure love and comfort. You could feel that he needed this more than anything, and you were right there for him. 

His hands continued to roam around your body, slowly but deliberately as he continued to remind himself that you were right there with him. A few seconds later, his lips left yours as he started trailing soft kisses down your wet jawline and neck. Each press of his lips against your skin felt like an apology and a promise all at once–his way of saying that you were his safe space, his sanctuary, and that he was sorry that something came so close to infiltrating his safe space and that he promised it wouldn’t happen again. 

He then moved his forehead to rest against yours, briefly staring into your eyes, before mumbling, “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” while gently squeezing your hips. 

You looked into his tired baby blues before cupping his face with your hands, “It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you whispered, then leaning forward to capture his lips in the soft kiss again, your noses brushing against each other as you pulled him in closer. 

You felt awful that Joe was feeling like this–mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. You wanted nothing more than to kiss his worries away and get rid of all the doubt and the pain by doing such a simple task. He didn’t deserve to feel this pain, this disappointment, this self-doubt. He worked so hard for everything, for football, for you–and seeing his hard work not pay off felt like a constant punch in the gut. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the person you love give their all to something–no matter how draining it was–and for it to rarely give anything back. 

It was even more painful when you saw him cry because of you. The thought of you being a burden, you adding to his stress, was still stuck in your mind. You felt guilty because most of this was your fault. If you weren’t there, then those men wouldn’t have said anything; Joe wouldn’t have a reason to feel this guilty. 

He blamed himself for the entire situation, and you blamed yourself. Except, he was being open about his feelings with you and you weren’t. The roles were reversed from last week. You were shutting him out in order to remain strong for him, and he knew that which made him feel even guiltier. 

“I love you,” he said in between the tender kiss, snapping you out of your daze as his hand cupped your cheek and thumb traced your cheekbone.

“I love you, forever,” you replied, your hand pushing his lips back onto yours. He needed to remind himself that you were still there, but you needed to remind yourself that he was still there too. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to him. 

—

After helping him shower, you finally got him comfortable in bed. The tiredness on his face was evident, but his mind was clearly still spiraling. It was a long day, emotionally draining for both of you, but you knew he needed rest more than anything right now. 

You slipped into the bed next to him, immediately turning to your side and pulling him into your body. His hands instinctively wrapped around your waist as he laid his cheek against your chest, your hands threading through his damp hair as you pressed light kisses around his face. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered a few quiet minutes later as he looked up at you with his tired eyes. 

“Shh, Joe,” you cooed as you moved his head back to your chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here. Go to sleep, baby,” you added with a kiss to his forehead, your heart breaking at his confession because that meant you were right; he wasn’t over it. 

He gave you a small nod before taking a deep breath, “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for everything you do for me,” he whispered, pressing a few kisses to your chest before fluttering his eyes closed. 

The rest of the hour was spent like this, with Joe wrapped tightly around your body. His head rested against your chest as you contuted to whisper gentle sweet nothings into his ear in hopes of soothing his restless mind. Occasionally, you’d press soft kisses against his forehead, his hair, and his cheek–each kiss adding to the palliative effect. Slowly, the tension was leaving his body and his breathing evened out. Your fingers continued to move in his hair, your nails lightly scratching his scalp which you knew always calmed him down. “I love you,” you repeatedly whispered with a gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you too, like a lot a a lot,” you said, echoing what he often times said to you.

About thirty minutes later, Joe was finally passed out like a baby, his face relaxed and free from worry. You glanced down at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips at the sight of him peacefully asleep and because of the sound of his soft snores.

“Thank god,” you whispered, relief washing over you because you got his brain to turn off for the night.

But unlike Joe’s brain, yours was still moving at the speed of light. Now that everything around you was quiet again, the voices in your head got louder. Normally, you were usually the one who had trouble falling asleep and Joe would be there to help you, but this time it was the opposite. 

You stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, hoping and wishing that doing this would bore you to sleep somehow, but you were so wrong. 

You let out an exhausted sigh before reaching over and grabbing your phone from the nightstand, making sure to quickly dim the brightness so it wouldn’t wake Joe up. “Looking at old photos always calms me down,” you whispered to yourself as you opened the photos app on your phone, getting ready to do what you did last week after you and Joe’s argument. Looking through old photos, specifically from happy moments, always seemed to calm you down in moments just like these. 

You made an album specifically for photos of you and Joe in your photo app; it was like a little treasure box of memories that always brought a smile to your face. It was also your secret weapon for moments like these–when things got heavy and you needed a reminder of the simple times.

You tapped the randomizer button, your usual go-to when you wanted some nostalgia with a hint of surprise. This button would pull up any photo from any year, any moment, without any warning–which is why it was so special. You never knew what photo you would see, but it was always guaranteed to be a moment worth reliving. 

You tapped the button, this time a photo of the two of you from 2020 popped up on your screen. 

You were in the driver’s seat of the new car Joe had just bought and he was right next to you holding the camera–a pure, deeply in love smile and look on both your faces.

Flashback to 2020

“God, this car is amazing,” you smiled over at Joe as you turned onto the next street in your neighborhood. 

“I know right?” he nodded. “It feels like we’re gliding on the clouds or something, it’s so smooth,”. 

Currently, you two were driving around your new neighborhood that you had just moved into in Cincinnati, a few months post-NFL draft. Joe had recently purchased his first luxury car with his contract money, a beautiful sleek Maybach, and you were spending the evening driving it around and enjoying your quiet time together in your new city. 

Joe drove you around downtown Cincinnati first–both of you making a list of food places you were going to try, parks you were going to visit, and the prime date night spots–and then offered to switch places with you once you got back to the suburbs area. At first, he was going to let you drive around the city instead of him, but you were way too scared that you'd end up hitting something or crashing to let yourself even think about sitting behind the wheel. But, after a half hour of him sweet-talking you and reassuring you everything was going to be alright while driving, you were now in the driver's seat and were whipping the car around like it was no big deal. 

That was the Joe effect. 

"I love dating a rich man," you winked at him, earning an eyebrow raise from him that would send you straight to your knees if you were standing up right now. 

"Well, I love being a rich man who can spoil his sexy girlfriend at any time he feels like," he smirked. 

"Are you sure you don't love being my passenger princess even more?" you giggled as you reached over to turn the air conditioner down when you saw him pull the sleeve of his hoodie down. "You look pretty damn comfy over there," you said while looking down at his feet, which were only covered with his socks as he decided to take his shoes off.

"Oh, baby I am comfy," he groaned. "This seat is like a marshmallow or something," he sighed as he wiggled his shoulders against the seat. 

"I told you," you smiled, hitting the right turn signal as you approached the stop sign. "I just wish we could figure out how to set up the audio system. I'm missing our music right about now and was hoping we could do some car karaoke today," you sighed as you turned right and started going down another street.

"Yeah, I know," Joe sighed next to you, cupping your upper thigh with his hand, prompting you to glance down for a second. "Ah, ah," he shook his head when he noticed you looking down, "Eyes on the road,".

"You better not move that hand any higher, Burrow," you said while giving him a heated look, knowing his hands were dangerously close to a certain spot. 

"I won't, I won't," he nodded with a cheeky smile, knowing the hold he had over you. "But anyway. Since we don't have music to keep ourselves entertained, how about a short, our version, game of 20 questions?".

"Oooo," you said with wide eyes. "I love that idea!” you chirped. “Let’s make it couple themed too, to add to the vibe,”.

“You got it,” he smiled over at you, his heart swelling as he watched you sitting so relaxed next to him, driving your new car, in your new neighborhood, in your new life together. It was silly, but he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he was getting to do this with you, the one he loved the most. Back at LSU, the thought of this happening was a dream for him even though he was watching it all unfold right under his nose. It didn’t really hit him that you two were doing this–starting the next phase of your lives, the adult phase, the phase where you were together together in every single aspect–until you two had signed the lease for your first home together last month. 

“Okay, the first question for you,” you smiled. “What’s the romantic thing you’ve ever imagined us doing together?”. 

Joe looked ahead on the road as he thought of his answer, but he really didn’t need to think for that long because the answer was so obvious as he’d thought about it about a hundred times every night before going to sleep. “Getting married,” he turned his head and smiled at you. 

Married. 

You felt your stomach do a backflip when those words registered in your head. He’d never said this to you before or ever brought up the idea of getting married, even though it was all you could think about after your first date back at LSU. You thought that it was just your brain getting overexcited at the possibility of your childhood fantasy of marrying Prince Charming coming true–and your first date together solidified that he was the Prince Charming you were waiting for–but you had no idea that he felt the same way. 

“When we’re ready, of course,” he added, snapping you out of your trance. 

You looked over at him, your eyes twinkling with love for him which made his heart skip a beat. “Really?” you breathed out.

“Hell yeah,” he smiled. “You’re my girl, my lady. My one and only. Why would I want to pass up on making an extraordinary woman like you, my wife?” he asked with an adorable smile. There was a certainty in his voice, a certainty that left no room for doubt. Joe had always been sure of you, even when you got in your head and questioned things. The way he said it, with that cute, boyish smile, it was impossible not to feel it too–the deep love and the absolute certainty he had in the two of you.

“I love you,” you pouted, watching him lean in and press a quick kiss to your lips.

“I love you more than anything in the universe,” he winked. 

“Okay, my turn again,” you beamed as you looked back onto the road, Joe nodding beside you and rubbing his thumb across your thigh. “If you could describe our chemistry in a sentence, what would you say?” you asked him. 

Joe’s eyes sparkled with a soft smile as he thought about your question. “I’d say our chemistry is like lightning in a bottle–rare because so many people search for what we have their entire life, unpredictable like anything could happen which keeps us on our toes but also not too unpredictable because we’re lightning in a bottle so it’s contained and secure, and full of energy, but always electric whenever we’re together,”.

“So sweet and poetic,” you smiled as you glanced over at him. “If football ever gets boring, I think you should write a poetry book."

Joe chuckled, his hand still resting on your thigh as he gave it a playful squeeze. “Oh yeah?” he smirked. “Think I’ve got what it takes to be the next great romantic poet?” he winked, clearly amused by the idea, but the way he looked at you–like you were his muse–made it feel like maybe he could.

“Mhm. I think you can write a better Sonnet 18 than Shakespeare did,” you teased. 

“I appreciate the confidence,” he grinned as he moved his hair back with his fingers. “Okay, I have a question for you,”.

“Shoot,” you replied. 

“What’s the most enticing way I can wake you up?” he smirked, the energy in the car going from playful to sensual within 5 seconds of him saying that.

“With your head in between my thighs,” you blushed. “That feeling of your soft scruff rubbing against my skin, your beautiful nose against my clit…Ugh, it’s too perfect. Best way to wake up,”.

“Damn, you didn’t even have to think about that one,” he laughed. 

“Nope. It’s happened all too many times for me to prefer any other way of getting woken up. Except for that one morning, the morning after the date you told me you loved me, when that almost made me miss my psychology exam,” you giggled. “Then I would’ve preferred a coffee to wake me up but every other time, that’s the best way,”. 

“Good to know,” he chuckled. “Okay, next question. If we could have a dance party, just us, what song would you dance with me to?”.

“Teenage Dream, Katy Perry. Duh,” you grinned. “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” you sing. 

“My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe, this is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” he sings along with you. 

“Damn, okay Katy,” you giggled, applauding his ability to stay on the pitch and sing with you. 

“Thanks, babe,” he smiled, doing a little bow in his seat. 

“Oo, I have another one. What’s one thing you love about me that you don’t tell me enough?” you asked him with an eager smile. 

“Hmm, that’s a good one,” he said, biting his lip as he thought carefully about what to say. A few seconds later, he looked at you with an almost shy smile. “How strong you are,” he said. “You don’t realize it, but you’re the strongest person I know. You always take care of everyone else–your friends, family, me–without ever asking for anything in return. And you never give yourself enough credit for how much you handle. I don’t tell you that enough, but I see it every day,”. 

“I’m gonna cry,” you pouted, placing your hand on his which was resting on your thigh. “I love love loveee you,” you said as you brought his hand up, intertwined your fingers, and brought it up to your lips for a kiss. 

“I love you,” he smiled, those three words always coming from his lips and never getting old or redundant. Since he said it so often, it was a constant reminder of how deep-rooted his love was for you. He was all in for you, so infatuated with you to the point where being without you caused him physical pain. 

You turned onto the next street–the street where your house was–which signaled the game was coming to an end.  “Since we’re almost home, I take the final question,” Joe smiled as he sat up in his seat and reached down to slip his shoes on. 

“Okay,” you grinned.

“What’s one thing that I could do that would turn you on immedi-,” he began to say but before he could finish answering you interrupted him.

“The eye-brow raise,��� you blurted out, a crimson blush rising on your face at the mental image of him doing the one thing that sent you straight to your knees in front of him. 

“Oh?” he said, surprised at your straightforwardness. 

You slowly turned your head to him, your eyes widening when you saw him doing said eyebrow raise at you right now as you turned into the garage of your home. “Joseph Lee!” you shrieked, slapping his thigh gently.

“I mean, we are home now,” he laughed, the smirk on his face screaming trouble. “At least we won’t have to get the car dirty,”. 

You stared at him with your jaw practically on the floor before he laughed again and used his hand to close your jaw. “Just kidding,” he smiled, “Maybe..” he added with a whisper. 

“Mhmmmm,” you squinted your eyes and nodded as you turned off the car. 

“Anywayyy,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to you. “You like driving the car?”.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him, matching his movements, “I mean Of course, who wouldn’t? It’s a Maybach,” you giggled. 

“Great, it’s your new car,” he grinned. 

Your eyes widened, “What?” you gasped, your voice filled with disbelief. 

He laughed, his smile getting even bigger at your reaction. “Yup, it’s all yours. Figured it was time you had something this valuable to match how valuable you are,”.

You stared at him with a mix of emotions swirling in your body, “You’re kidding right?” you asked, half expecting him to say it was a joke. “I thought this was your car?”.

“Nope. I’m getting a Porche for myself. This one is just for you, a special car for my special girl,” he smiled. 

You blankly stared at him for a few seconds before sliding your Uggs off and hopping over the center console, into Joe’s lap. You couldn’t believe that he just bought this car for you, something so expensive and grand. It was just for you. 

He really loved you more than anything in the world, and everything he did just showed you how all in he was for you. This was another thing added to the list, a very long, lengthy, beautiful list.

You didn't even ask him for anything, he just knew.

“Woahh, hey,” he laughed as his hands instantly went to your waist. 

“I fucking love you,” you grinned as you started attacking his face with kisses. “Like I seriously don’t deserve you at all,”. 

“You deserve everything and more, baby. You deserve the world and I can’t wait to give it to you,” he said to you, the look in his eyes sending chills down your spine. 

“Thank you, Joe. Thank you for all of it,” you smiled before you started peppering kisses around his jawline, feeling his scruff against your lips. 

“No need to thank me. You deserve it for all you do for me,” he smiled. 

“I do need to thank you,” you said as you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, your eyes now filled with mischief and pure heat. 

He raised his eyebrows at your teasing expression, “Okay if you insist. But how so?”.

You looked him up and down as you licked your lips, an idea sparking inside your head. You leaned forward and placed your lips at his ear, “I think we should christian the new car? For its other use, not just driving. What do you think?” you whispered to him. 

“I think that we should get the car dirty,” he smirked as he moved your head back to his view and started kissing his way down your neck.

“Huh, that’s funny. I was thinking the same thing,” you smirked as you pulled his face back up to yours.

End of Flashback

The photo then changed to another one from 2020. This one specifically was from January 13th, 2020. 

You were in Joe’s apartment, tangled in the sheets of his bed with him, and he was holding the camera in front of you both as you both sported lazy, high-on-the-feeling type smiles on your faces. 

“That was a fun night,” you smiled, immersing yourself in the memory again. 

Flashback to Joe’s apartment – January 13th, 2020

“Fuck, that was good,” Joe breathed out as he fell back against the sheets, turning his head over to look at you to make sure you were alright.

“You have...a lot of energy,” you panted with a satisfied smile as you came down from your high, turning your head to look over at him through his messy hair.

“I feel like I can run a marathon,” he lazily chuckled as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you.

“No running marathons tonight, we’re celebrating,” you winked as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his bicep. 

“That’s okay, I’ll just use my energy on you,” he smirked, “If you can handle it,”.

You let out an offended scoff, “Excuse me? Think I can’t match your stamina?”.

Joe looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with you as a smirk tugged at his lips. You grabbed a pillow from behind you and gently slapped his chest with it, “May I remind you of your birthday last month?” you giggled, reminding him of that very very long night you two spent in his apartment celebrating his birthday, alone. 

“Okay, Okay,” he said, taking back what he said. “Fair point. You can handle it,”. 

“Damn right, I can. I’m a National Champion’s girlfriend now, I can handle anything,” you smiled as you laid back against the sheets again, stretching your arm out to cup his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheek. 

“I’m really glad you didn’t mind celebrating here, just the two of us,” he said a few quiet seconds later as he moved your hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your palm. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else, Joe. You’re all I need,” you said to him as you pulled him down and pressed your soft lips against his. 

“That’s great because,” he said between the kiss, “I really didn’t want to be out there tonight,” he said as he went back to your lips, maneuvering himself in the sheets so he was on top of you again.

The LSU Tigers had just won the National Championship just a few short hours ago at the Mercedes Benz Superdome in New Orleans. The entire city was alive with celebration and excitement, and the team was riding the high of their victory tonight. While most of the players and their partners were hitting up every club and bar on Bourbon Street, you found yourself in a quieter, more intimate setting. 

After wrapping up his media appearances for the night, Joe surprised you. You thought you two would just go with the rest of the team to whichever bar they wanted to raid first but Joe just had a feeling you were slightly opposed to the idea of bar hopping all night because he knew you didn’t really enjoy getting blackout drunk in order to have fun, and he was the same. So instead, he took your hand and led you to the car, alone–just the two of you.

The streets, the media, the entire state was buzzing with thrill and excitement over tonight’s game and Joe’s NFL ready performance, but Joe was only thinking about you. He knew how great the game was, how good he looked, and what this meant for his future as a Pro. But he could care less about all that right now. For him, tonight wasn’t about the parties, the lights, or the drinking–it was about sharing this moment with you. The person who had been with him since the start of his journey down here. 

“My little hermit crab,” you giggled as you pulled away from the kiss. “Even when it’s all about you, you still want to hide away in your shell,”. 

“Well, I’m not alone in my shell,” he pouted, “I have you and that’s all I’ll ever need,”. 

“I love you,” you said as you brushed your nose against his. “And I’m so proud of you,”. 

“Babyyy,” he shyly said while stuffing his face in your neck to hide his rosy cheeks. 

“What?” you said as you looked down at him. “I think I deserve to tell you how proud I am of you an unlimited amount of times tonight,”. 

“You’re gonna get tired of it,” he mumbled against your neck as he was pressing sloppy kisses around the bare skin.

“Oh, I am never getting tired of saying it I’ll have you know that,” you said as you stuffed your hand into his hair and played with his curls. “You always find a way to make me prouder so I’m always going to have something new to be proud of,”. 

“...Keep talking,” he said a few seconds later as he moved his head so that it was laying in your neck.

“Gladly,” you said as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, your voice soft and filled with emotion. “Do you even realize how far you’ve come? You’re not just the guy who won the College Football National Title tonight. You’re that kid from Athens, Ohio who fought his way from being a third-string quarterback–someone who people didn’t believe in, someone who thought his shot might never come as he sat on the bench for every game,”. 

Joe stayed quiet as he listened closely to what you were saying to him. “You broke free from that, baby. You took every challenge, and every setback, and used it as fuel to get here. You didn’t give up when things weren’t going your way, and now look at you? National Champ, Star QB, and a leader of a team that believed in you because you believed in yourself,”. 

“That little boy from Athens has come so far. So far from throwing a football in front of twenty, maybe thirty people at a pee-wee football game, to throwing a football in front of thousands of fans with even millions more watching from TV. You’ve worked so hard for this and I want you to be as proud of yourself as I am of you. Because tonight…you didn’t just with the trophy. You proved to yourself, you proved to everyone, that betting on yourself always works. That you are so much more than everyone gave you credit for. You proved that Joe Burrow is that guy and is going to be that guy for years to come,” you added, feeling him hold onto you a little tighter as you continued talking. 

“You did this, Joe. You did the damn thing you always dreamed of doing as a little boy. And this wasn’t just some lucky break, this was you turning that dream into reality. Every time you threw a football in the park with me when you got here, every practice, every struggle–it brought you here. You didn’t let anyone’s doubts or opinions stop you. This win, this night–it’s everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve earned. And it’s just the beginning of your story. Who knows where you’re going to end up after the draft, but all I know right now is that you’ve done what you set out to do. Whether it’s to the NFL or wherever life takes you, you’ve shown nothing can hold you back. The sky isn’t the limit, Joe,” you said while feeling him press a kiss to your jaw and then a wet droplet streaming down your neck, likely a tear droplet from his eyes. “Little Joey Burrow from Athens who used to look up at the sky, dreaming of moments like these? He’s made it. He’s touched the sky. And now, nothing is stopping him from reaching even higher than the sky,”. 

“I am eternally proud of you,” you said, ending your sweet speech with another kiss on his forehead.

You hear Joe’s soft sniffles come from under you, “I love you, Y/N. I really fucking love you. I think out of everything that’s happened to me since coming to LSU, including tonight, you’re by far the best thing. I don’t know how I lived my life all those years without you, to be honest. And I know I can’t live the rest without you either,”. 

“Aww, Joey,” you cooed. “I can’t live without you either,” you said as you brought his face back up to yours and mashed your lips against his. “I can’t and I won’t,” you said as you pecked his lips. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?” you asked him, the look in both your eyes answering that question for you both without needing to say anything. 

“You don’t need to ask me, baby. You’re going where I’m going whether you like it or not,” he smiled. “It’s you and me for infinity,”. 

“Good,” you nodded, a warm feeling in your heart as you two lightly touched the topic of your future together. “I’m not letting go of you if you want me t-, ahhh!” you shrieked as Joe grabbed your waist and easily flipped you over so that you were on top of him. 

“What were you saying?” he smirked as his hands gripped your waist with an intensity that matched the look in his eyes. 

“Damn, you’re strong,” you giggled as you leaned forward and moved his hair out of his eyes, your bare breasts dangling in front of his face which was all he could think about now. 

“Damn, you’re sexy,” he groaned as he slid his hands up your bare back, pushing you forward so that he could latch his mouth onto a nipple. 

You fluttered your eyes closed as you felt him swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud, “Ohh, yeah,” you whispered, your hips rocking against his as a jolt of pleasure vibrated through your tired body. 

“Mm, I wanna taste you,” he said as he pressed kisses along your sternum before moving to your other breast. “I think I deserve a sweet treat for winning the Championship,”. 

Joe’s breath hitched as your hands slid up his chest, your fingernails gently scratching his skin, His eyes darkened as they locked on yours, the intensity between you building with each parting second.

“I mean, it’s only fair,” you shrugged playfully, your voice soft but laced with desire. You bit your lip before adding, “But I want to ride you,” meeting his gaze with a look that spoke volumes. There was a fire in your eyes, one he couldn’t resist, one that seemed to pull him in deeper.

He swallowed hard, his body already reacting to the heat between you, completely mesmerized by the way you looked at him. “Damn,” he whispered, his voice raspy as he slid down on the bed and brought you with him. "You always know exactly what to say to drive me crazy,"

“I know,” you winked, “It’s my job,” you added before you felt him grip your waist again, this time feeling him lift you from his hips and onto his chest. 

“You ready?” he asked you, making sure you were alright even though this wasn’t the first time you’d done this before.

“Oh, hell yeah,” you grinned as you spread your legs wider and moved onto his face, lining your slick core with his mouth. 

A few seconds passed by as you got comfortable, his hands tightly gripping your waist and your ass as you let out a few breathy moans at the feeling of his perfect, ski slope nose rubbing against your aching clit. “Joe,” you whimpered. 

He looked up at you and the sight of you biting your bottom lip and holding onto the bedframe was enough to make him cum without you even doing anything to him, he was mesmerized by you. 

He used his tongue to lick a long stripe across your slit before thrusting his tongue into your core, your hips beginning to gently rock back and forth against his face. “Mmm, fuck,” you moaned, a warm feeling fluttering through your belly as you felt yourself getting lost under his touch. 

“Fuck,” he blubbered underneath you, “You taste like heaven,” he said while closing his eyes and gripping you even tighter. The feeling of his scruff against your bare skin was driving you insane. There was legit no better feeling on this planet than feeling his scruff in between your thighs. 

He continued to lap at your folds with his skillful mouth, even looking up at you with his wild eyes a few times and noticing how you threw your head back each time his lips latched onto your clit, even how you fell a little forward when his nose would rub against it. He was as skillful with his mouth as he was with his hands, both always moving with precision and perfection on you. He always knew what to do in order to send you over the edge, he knew your body like it was a road he’d driven down over a thousand times. 

“Joe, fuck…you’re so- you’re so good at t- this,” you moaned, stuffing your hands into his fluffy, disheveled hair as you rocked your hips back and forth a little harder. 

Your grip on his hair was as tight as the grip he had on you, both of you steadying yourselves due to the intensity of the pleasure unfolding between you. “Yeah, just like that,” you whimpered after you felt him move his hand to your wet heat, his thumb grazing over your bundle of nerves as you felt yourself inching closer to your orgasm. 

You tugged on his hair a little harder, this time earning a moan from him that vibrated through your entire body and sent you straight to heaven for a second as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Ah,” you whimpered as you felt the band in your belly tighten with each expert flick of his tongue and scratch of his scruff against your core. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby,” you whispered as you closed your eyes, your entire body hotter than the sun with the way his mouth was going unhinged on your soaked core. 

Joe opened his eyes and glanced up at you, a feeling of accomplishment and pride coursing through his veins, and it wasn’t because of winning big tonight. It was because of you. Because he was the only man on this planet to get you like this. 

He latched his mouth onto your clit, flicking the bud with his hot tongue as you felt your high starting to come over you with each nip and suck of his mouth and the feeling of your waist being squeezed by his big hand. 

“Joe…Joe…Joe!” you screamed a few seconds later as you felt your orgasm cut through you, your hands gripping the bed frame so that your tight grip didn’t end up ripping his hair out. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whimpered as you felt your release fall into his hot mouth and his tongue continuing to work you through your high. 

“I love you,” you breathed out a few seconds later once you looked down at him, feeling him smile into your drenched heat as he continued to coax you through your high.

And in that moment, you once again realized that there was no other place you both would rather be right now. You were away from the noise, from the flash of the cameras, from the distractions. This felt like the real celebration. The one that mattered the most. Joe had achieved one of his dreams, and the only thing that made it sweeter was sharing this private, intimate moment with you. 

All the sacrifices, sleepless nights, countless hours of practice–it all led to this. And the one person he wanted to be with, more than anyone else, was you. 

You were both exactly where you needed to be. Together. And that was the real victory.

End of Flashback 

You snapped back to the present when your phone turned off and the light was no longer reflecting onto your face. Your face felt wet, as well as your eyes as you looked down at your phone which had droplets sliding down the screen. You didn’t even realize that while reliving these memories, you started crying. 

You swiped at your face, trying to wipe away the tears as if you could get rid of the feelings that had overwhelmed you. You glanced down at Joe, praying that none of this had woken him up–which thankfully it didn’t. 

“Everything was so simple back then,” you thought to yourself as you felt a few more straggling tears slide down your cheeks. You missed those times, those times when your only concerns were what bag and clothes he was going to bring to his first practice as a Bengal or what team he’d end up going to post Natty win & NFL draft. 

And now? Now there were so many concerns, worries, and thoughts that needed to be sorted. But why? “When did everything get so complicated?” you asked yourself as you glanced back down at him, his puffy eyes still closed and his mouth slightly open as the soft snores continued to come through. “Why did everything get so complicated for him? Why is he in so much pain? He doesn’t deserve this…he works so hard. He does everything he needs to do. He does so much for me and for this life, we built,” you thought to yourself again as you felt your stomach drop.

You wished you could do something to help him, do something to just fix everything that was bothering him. But you couldn’t. 

The only thing you could do was remain strong, remain as his anchor, and prevent him from going under. 

Even if sometimes you felt like you were about to go under yourself. 

You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before whispering, “I’m so sorry Joe. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could make this better. You deserve the world and I’m so sorry that I can’t help you in the way I should be,".

"I’m sorry," you whispered again as you felt another tear slide down your cheek.

–To be Continued–

[gremlingottoosilly]

Nature vs Nurture (monster!Konig x fem!Reader)

The new world order - monsters on top, creating the perfect dystopia for humans. You are nothing but a pet to them, a breeding mare for their perverse desires…and now you've finally been claimed by their colonel. Good luck.

Tags and TW: Dub-con, monster fucking, size kink, power imbalance, dumbification, pet play, dystopia, obsessive Konig, tentacle monster Konig, oviposition, breeding. AO3

It was supposed to be a supply run. Fast, quick, stealthy. In and out, the ruins of the abandoned store not so far from your hiding spot. Whatever you could find, some canned food – maybe, but not realistically. Some rubble and garbage that could be exchanged for food for triple the price it was – possible. Realistic. 

It was supposed to be a quick supply run. Like a rabbit out of her hole – but not really a rabbit, not even having the courtesy of strong legs and long ears that could spot anyone from a mile away. No, of course not – the universe wasn’t feeling particularly merciful when you were born a human in the age before monsters decided they didn’t want to be servants anymore. You think you remember going to the store like a normal person. Picking up a cart, hauling anything you could afford – not bothering about a lot of things. 

There are still stores, you think. Remesances of capitalism, working only for monsters – whatever crude economy they were building, it stayed in the cities. In the military bases, were filled with monsters even before the uprising. Not here, in the wasteland – it belongs to humans, as little as there were left. 

It was supposed to be a quick supply run for you and your friends – but you were dumb, but you were careless, but you grew accustomed to being the only one here, you didn’t even spot a patrol. Nasty fuckers, getting humans off the abandoned streets – you tried to fight and it didn’t work. Tried to run, and they were faster. Always faster. You should have been quicker, you shouldn’t have been a human – but you are, your soft self still not hardened by the life on the run, so you weren’t put out of your misery as you saw some other humans who got caught. Monsters took pity on you – or, perhaps, your submissiveness finally paid off. You were shown off the corner of a store – a human store, as you read, the words burning in your mind. You heard the stories about humans – attractive, soft people, mostly weak and obedient – who were snatched off the streets to do god knows what. Monsters can’t breed on their own, you remembered. 

You can hear the voices coming somewhere in the hallway, a good few meters away from your cage. You force yourself to stay as far from the bars as possible, not wanting to attract attention. Not even want to bother yourself with trying to see what your captors look like – monsters can take on human appearance and you’d rather live without seeing a human pet trader looking like someone who could have been your neighbor before the uprising. You curl in a ball, hugging your knees. Sobbing softly, quietly – knowing that there is no way out of here now. Not even other humans would help you now. “Just got new batch, colonel. Doesn’t look like a resistance member” “Ja, I heard that the last time. Schlampe killed all the hatchlings the second they were born.” “W…we didn’t know, sir! I promise, it was a…” “You can’t even breed them properly. There wasn’t any new humans in months, wolf” “Humans are…delicate, sir. They don’t want to breed in captivity.” “Make them then.” You hear something heavy shuffling around. You hear heavy footsteps that are making the flimsy flor of your cage shake. Even monsters have their disputes – but you can’t bother with caring when you hear footsteps approaching. Large shadow casting down on you. Making you feel even more small and miserable than you did before. Your head hurts. Your stomach hurts. Your everything hurts. 

Someone is staring at you. You see…someone. Humanoid silhouette – too big to belong to a human, at least 7 feet tall and broader than the entirety of your cage. You whimper when the creature tilts its head to the side, a surprisingly boyish tone of his voice grasping on your panicking mind. It isn’t the one that captured you but, for some reason, you can sense that he is even more dangerous. There is something on his uniform – some decorations, you think. Soldiers from the age before the uprising are all have quite high ranks in the new society – if they are monsters, that is. Large, droopy red tentacle falls from the guy’s hood. Definitely a monster. 

— Come closer, human. You whimper, trying to get up – only to get as far away from him as possible. You’re terrified, but he only hums in acknowledgment. A group of tentacles rising from under his hood, pushing you towards him through the bars. You were never more thankful for being locked away. 

— Disobedient. Or just dumb? 

— I d…don’t…

You cry, not wanting to give an answer – too disoriented, your nostrils are filled with the smell of sea and blood. You feel light-headed, dizzy, you’re hungry and dehydrated and you don’t know how could you even proceed to resist when one of his tentacles goes through the bars of your cage. Caresses your face, surprisingly gentle. Smearing cold slime around your skin, but even this is a welcoming feeling – you’d take everything that isn’t damp air of the human compound and the old sweat tattering your skin. You’d give anything for a bath right now. At least a few wet wipes, to wash the grime off your face – to stop feeling like an animal even though you know you’re already been reduced to one. — Just dumb, then. Gut. Monster caresses your face for a while, admiring your features. Salty tears feel like heaven on his tentacles – you can’t possibly see him, but he is grinning under that weird hood of his, adoring how obedient you are. It might be just exhaustion, but he missed humans like this – broken and abandoned. Soft and adorable, crying at the brim of a hat. König is going to have a lot of fun breaking you in – you couldn’t possibly be worse than the last wife he took. He wants to see you round and filled with his eggs. He wants you to see you cry for his cock, begging him to fill you up like the dumb, pathetic human you are. He wants to lay in the nest with you, pressing his body against yours – stealing the coolness of your body, covering you with his tentacles like a perfect chewing toy. He wants to… — Ah, sir. This is the new one. Just took her yesterday. 

A merchant smiles, slimy face spreading in a wide grin. Tentacles retreat from your face and shoulders immediately, only leaving a small trace of liquid over your features. If you were dumb enough, you could have sworn the monster was affectionate – but you don’t want to be dumb. Can’t survive in this world only on silliness, unfortunately. — I will take this one. — B…but it isn’t properly domesticated yet! You know how wild strays can be, colonel… — I thought you said all pets were properly obedient? 

— W…well, of course, sir, but… — I don’t need a trained slut to carry my eggs. This one would do nicely. Consider this your sacrifice to the order, ja? Before you know it, the merchant showed you in the hands of a giant man. Colonel, as you heard – not knowing proper military ranks, you wonder how high it can be. Or low. Monsters only value power and personal strength – and the merchant was fucking terrified of the tentacle creature who was holding you right now. Perhaps, you should have tried your chances of running away and being killed. Perhaps, you should have slowly died of hunger instead of coming out for supplies. `You’re held high in the air – too high for your liking. The monster presses you against his chest like he expects you to run away any second now – and you want to, really, nothing you’d love more but to simply jump off and run for the hills. But you’re too exhausted, the hunger sitting deep in your empty stomach makes you think that, maybe, for whatever reason this monster bought you for, he’d at least feed you. Maybe turn you into a pet – this is why there are stores for captured humans, right? Humans were treating their pets nicely, maybe the monster wouldn’t be too far off. Tentacles are swirling around your legs, around your hands – now you can’t even move your neck properly, cheek squished against a warm chest. This monster is a weird one – it’s like he can’t stop his tentacles from touching you, the cold tips of his tendrils spreading slime on the dryness of your skin. His body is warmer than any human would be, and his tentacles are cold – the contrast against your naked skin, barely covered by your torn clothes, is making you crazy. Making you think about weird things – like the monster reproduction again. Like your empty tummy, like the friends you left at the compound when you were supposed to go for supplies. Not getting captured by one of the monster higher-ups.

— You’re soft for a human. You weren’t even sure he was talking to you at first. You’ve been walking for a couple of minutes before you could finally hear some traces of civilization. Roaring vehicles. Gunfire. Laugh and groans – moans, too, to your surprise, not all of them very pain-induced. Your face is still pressed in his chest, you can’t see anything meaningful – but he stops in some corner, you think, covering you in his arms like a package he needed to deliver. You aren’t sure if you remember what the word “package” means. Something naughty, you think. — Quiet, too. 

You still don’t answer, and he hums. Pushes you on the ground, suddenly – you fall on your ass, yelping in pain and surprise as you lay on something softer than a concrete floor. It’s a pile of mattresses, you realize. You’re in a room, you realize – still too dizzy after everything that’s happened, you didn’t even notice when he entered the building and pushed you away from the sounds of life you wanted to hear so much of. You’re sitting on your ass on the pile of soft, rotten mattresses – a faint smell of decay builds up in your nose, but you can’t even concentrate. The tentacles are spreading your legs suddenly – you cry and whimper, your walls breaking down to reveal a soft center because the monster tears away your pants with ease. Your clothes weren’t much, to begin with, dirty and torn after the capture – still, you don’t want to be naked in front of him. You don’t want to be naked in front of anyone. 

— Spread your legs, human. You don’t want to, but you obey – you don’t wish to give him an opportunity to pry your legs open, to use force and make your life even more miserable. You know that being so obedient is kind of pathetic but, honestly, you couldn’t care less at this point. If being pathetic would save you from a broken leg, you will spread yourself open. Place each ankle on the side of the rotten mattress, not even caring that the thing fabric of your clothes – whatever little is left there – is slowly whiskered away by the tentacles. His hands are worse, somehow. He pushes your legs a bit wider, making you hiss from the stretch – and then he tears off your underwear. Not even letting you a chance to save your dignity – before you could cover yourself with your hands, at least, he is already launched at your cunt, smaller tendrils swirling around your core. You’re dry, obviously – and the monster tilts his head to the side. Acknowledging. Looking. He isn’t soft in his movements and the prying attention makes you embarrassed – if your legs weren’t in hid hold already, you’d try to close them. To save yourself. His motives are obvious, his intentions are clear – still, you sob and whine i his hold when his hand slowly presses on the button of your clit. The colonel – you try to remember this, it’s probably important –  is somewhat slow – he pushes your inner lips, spreads your hole as much as you can with a meager amount of fluid from the slime of his tendrils and, somehow, you find yourself getting aroused. Maybe, it’s his attention – he isn’t laying his eyes off you, and it almost makes you blush too much. He is adorable in this way if a monster of his regard can even be called this – and you’re freaking terrified when he goes closer, looks at you even more. 

His hand is making squelching sounds as your cunt becomes wetter by the second – it’s the first time in forever you had this kind of attention, and surviving the monster revolution didn’t exactly help with getting the edge off. You’re desperate for anyone to touch you – and the monster has beautiful hands. Big and burly, with tendrils sometimes running around to add even more lube – you know you’d never get anything like this with a normal human. — Need to check you first, Maus. The merchant keeps sending me infertile ones. You don’t know what he is talking about – but his hand lays flat on your tummy, putting you in place, and the larger tentacle – big, slimy one, with uneven structure with little bumps that made you wonder how it’s even going to fit inside – slowly creps to your sloppy, wet opening. It doesn’t hurt, you’re wet and open – something in the lube he extracted made you dizzy, dumb, you don’t even know when you spread your legs a bit more and welcomed the intrusion. It feels right, it feels wrong, it feels like the thing to die for – it feels like something that could kill you. He laughs and it sends slow rumbles right to the tendril penetrating your pussy. The pressure on your clit is too much – and your brain is to foggy to think that it reminds you more of a medical exam than actual sex. The tentacle inside is vibrating, twisting and turning, pressing on your cervix – it should feel painful, it can’t be this good but, somehow, you welcome the feeling of being this fucking full. You don’t buck your hips, but you cry and moan – and it’s enough of an indication of your pleasure. Monster laughs, his other hand goes to lay on your face – a surprisingly gentle gesture. Short-lived, but you could still feel the warmness lingering on your tattered skin. It’s hot and cold with him – you aren’t sure what comes next, but the tendrils are sliding in and out, probing at the entrance of your womb and, despite everything, you feel the knot in your stomach untying. The orgasm is a quiet one – build up is slow and small, and it doesn’t make you black out – but you whimper nonetheless, the tight embrace of his hands on your body feeling more like a cage than a normal hug. He is too powerful, probably not sure about his strength – you feel him squishing you like a fruit. The slime is leaking from your empty pussy, clenching around nothing. — Obedient. You’d be a good vessel for my eggs, human. You whine, turning away from him. He chuckles, pressing you in his arms again. Like a child with his favorite new toy – you feel squeezed and touched in various places, his tentacles having a mind on their own. Not an inch of flesh getting ungroped. — Ar…are you going to kill me? — Ach. You can talk after all. — Are you going to… — No. Have a much better way to use you. He chuckles in your hair, pressing his face in it. Inhales the scent – if he has nose, of course. This stupid hood conceals everything, not letting you know anything besides his rank. Which makes you think about…

— What is your name? 

A stupid question, really. You shouldn’t care about the name of a monster who bought you – still, you don’t want to refer to him as just “a monster”. This dumb part of your brain wants closure. — König. Remember it, little human. Oh. So his name is König. Somehow, it doesn’t make you feel any better. 

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri, inviting myself with a question. AceYuu, JadeYuu, RolloYuu. Favorite Tropes and Why?

Hello Sayo, nice to have you drop on in, have a seat. That's a sort of difficult question ( • - • ) … I think one of the main reason I like these three ships so much is my favorite thing to write is requited unrequited love, and there's a bunch of good chemistry to work that into these three guys. I like exploring the pining and denial stage of love, but there are some differences with each ship I like to explore.

AceYuu is friends to lovers to me. They just exemplify what I want out of a ship like that, there's a genuine friendship underneath everything that's built on mutual respect and affection that just isn't with some other pairings. I like exploring it from Ace's pov especially because I see him as someone who already has a good grasp on what it means to be a good and loyal friend, but is utterly powerless when it comes to genuine romantic love. He's got no idea what to do with himself other than continue to be Yuu's friend, not fully realizing that's the best foundation for a relationship. I like making Yuu a bit more accepting of their own romantic feelings but not of their place in Ace's heart. Jenny Studio Killers ship my beloved.

JadeYuu is Yuu falling first and Jade falling harder. The line I throw around about Jade finding Yuu boring at first isn't something I made up, it's his vingette level up line. "Oh no I don't think that now." He says with a smirk because he doesn't, but he does not really know what he thinks about Yuu so he doesn't give a concrete answer. Fun he supposes, he likes watching you move through the world. It's similar to how Floyd interacted with things at first, but he doesn't really like the idea of comparing you to Floyd... just what is this strange feeling? He thinks he likes it vs Yuu who took one look at Jade and that smile, that damned smile. You were in love from day one and a bit upset that your bad taste in men had followed you to a different world. But while you are busy trying to get over your feelings Jade is starting to realize his and once he does good luck getting away. He's intense, desperate, and so much deeper in love than you ever thought he could be. If you don't get married right this instant he thinks he might actually die, he's that down bad. And super pathetic about it too.

RolloYuu is love at first sight. I like fatal/doomed attraction with them too, just Rollo being in love with Yuu and Yuu being in love with Rollo but the timing is wrong. The circumstances are wrong, Rollo is maybe the one guy who genuinely wishes he was born in your world and would follow you there without hesitation (the original ending to my long fic had him doing just that) but is that really what would be best for him? I like writing him as obsessed with Yuu, and Yuu as knowing it is wrong to be enamored by that but they're just so tired of everything they want to stay with him. It's much more simple than the other two ships I should write for them a bit more... oh I've also found I really like writing them as childhood friends in my ayuus. It's a dynamic that sort of works with that whole doomed love at first sight thing, for me anyway.

[acourtofquietdreamers]

“Why don’t you ship Elain with her mate? Don’t you know Sarah is a fated mates author?!”

Let’s take a look at Elain’s mate vs….

The person Feyre pictured with Elain and smiled.

“Autumn Court males have fire in their blood—and they fuck like it, too.”…Lucien caught me cringing at him when her words replayed for the tenth time an hour later…I shook my head, trying not to imagine Elain subject to that…fire.

“And I think Elain—Elain would like it, too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet.” I smiled at the thought—at how handsome they would be together.

The person willing to save her himself.

Lucien was shaking his head, panting, and whirled to us. “Get her back,” he snarled at Tamlin over the ranting of the king.

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

The person who made her feel at ease during their first meeting.

As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him

But Azriel’s attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face. Her shoulders loosened a bit.”

The person she can sit in comfortable silence with.

It was the most uncomfortable thirty minutes I could recall.

Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports—likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City—the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it.

The person who knew she didn’t need anything.

Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

“She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

The person who understood her and saw her when no one else did.

“Did you sense anything?” “No—I didn’t have time. I felt her, but …” A blush stained his cheek. Whatever he’d felt, it wasn’t what we were looking for.

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not…Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood what gift he possessed.

The person Elain enjoys spending time with.

Elain, at least, would be too polite to send Lucien away when he wanted to help. She was too polite to send him away on a normal day. She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left.

Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea.

The person she has palpable chemistry with.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

The person who gives her a gift that she wants to wear right away.

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings.

“It's beautiful," she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, "Put it on me?"

The person who looks at her and only thinks of her.

But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda.

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was. The faelights gilded Elain's unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn.

This supposed “fated mates author” has made it really difficult for me to ship Elain with her mate when a much more compatible option is right there. Four books with moments that solidify Azriel as the person for Elain, mate or not.

[angsthology]

“oh, god, no...” — or an alt title: three people bonding over random things as alex makes a horrible decision

one of his worst ideas ever. he’s never doing it ever again.

a/n ckckckckcck i love u dino anon but i was a bit stumped on where this could go BUT i give u surprise to make it more fun i love love love alex my i wanna say pookie but i cant take that word seriously. also im guilty of oversharing roolore in these suposedly shorter chapters. and now that im realizing things this kinda suck lawl

THE KANGAROO(KIE) VS. THE WORLD

after a long day of media, roo was finally free to do whatever she pleased (that being going back to her hotel and pass out until whatever time her body wakes up). currently, she’s slipping on her backpack and taking her phone out, scrolling mindlessly on her contacts until she found the right name.

“where the hell are you?” she starts, holding her phone to her face. “alright. you wanna watch a movie ‘til we pass out?” she paused waiting for an answer as she walks out of the building, “‘kay, i’ll meet you out front.”

just as she clicked her phone off, she looked up to be met with a face that just… stood there with a smile—making her jump and scream in surprise, catching the attention of people around.

when she collected all her life (that had been scattered when she got spooked) she took notice of the source of her heart-attack. he smiled innocently still, as if he’s done nothing wrong.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

alex, the culprit in question didn’t falter (though he did flinch a little bit at her outburst), he saw this one coming and to be quite frank, he did this to himself.

“i deserved that.” he closed his eyes in acceptance of defeat. alas, he brushed it off, he moved to her side and slung a hand around her shoulder. she was about to shrug him off but decided against it. “how would you feel about helping me pick my next hair color?”

that piqued her interest, she finally looks up to come face-to-face with him again, though now a smile graced her face like a cheshire cat.

his face fell. he was starting to slowly regret his decision.

without another word, a large grin still etching her face, she fished her phone out of her pocket and started scrolling through something. when alex tried to take a peek, she immediately moved away to prevent him from doing so mumbling something along the lines of ‘corporate secrets’.

he made a face at her words. but when she finally showed him her screen, he felt as if the face he made before was a bit premature.

“what the hell is that?!” he exclaimed.

she moved her phone so she could see the picture for herself seeing not what she had opened before but rather a video instead, “oh, sorry, this was from my pitbull concert. he’s great, isn’t he?” she happily showed him the video again.

he gave her another face.

“right, uh, here.” she showed him the correct picture.

he paused. “…what is that supposed to be?”

looking at the picture again, she took a second to think about it then shrug, “neon green/yellow-ish, give or take.”

his mouth drops at her direction. “what do you mean?”

“what do you mean, ‘what do i mean’?” she takes a look at his shocked face then decided to continue, “i mean: neon green/yellow-ish!” pausing, thinking back her words, “give or take!” she pauses again and re-clarified much calmer, “okay, maybe a bit more faded and muted.”

he shook his head, non-verbally ending that part of the discussion.

“where are we even going to get that kind of color?”

she shrugs, “i know a guy.”

the two girls were now currently sitting on the couch, the doberman peacefully laying between them—her eyes too, like theirs, glued to the television playing jurassic park when suddenly a knock came, shifting all three of the girls’ attention towards it.

roo was about to get up to check who it was. being who she was, she had to be extra careful who to let into her living quarters.

“it’s me!” the other side announced.

she looked away from the door and blinked, her brows screwing together in thought until she realized who that voice belonged to.

“alex?” she tested the waters.

“yeah!”

she sighed, her eyes then looking expectantly at the dog that lied beside her, tilting her head as if she were the dog asking their owner for something.

the dog whimpers as if groaning at her request. alas, she jumped off the couch begrudgingly walking towards the door and jumping up to open it.

“he— huh?” alex stopped in his tracks when instead of seeing his friend right behind the door, she was way far sitting on the couch with her friend. she greeted him nonetheless then motioning her hand towards the dog that sat quaintly besides the door, smiling up at him happily.

“oh!” he raised his brows in surprise then bending down to pet the dog who happily accepted, “who’s this fella?” he asked in a high-pitched voice, his accent stronger than usual.

“that’s jet, she’s mine.” roo answered from the couch, jurassic park long forgotten. “what are you doing here?” she asked the brit.

alex then moved his attention away from the dog, his hand still petting her chin, “uhm—i need your help.”

“with what?” her voice slightly gurgling from taking a sip of her drink.

he then holds up the boxes of hair dye with a forced awkward smile.

she gave him a look, “what about your girlfriend?”

“busy today,” he shrugged.

“then do it tomorrow.” she counters.

“okay, fine, i’m bored and alone.” he confessed.

she wanted to help; she really did but—

she groaned loudly; head thrown back to rest on the back of the couch.

“would you believe me if i say my ass is glued and have already morphed into this couch?”

“i would, actually.”

suddenly, from far behind on the other side of the couch—her presence almost forgotten—nika made herself present, “i’ll help. my ass is getting tired of the couch and i’m pretty good with handling people’s hair; i actually spent a summer working in my mom’s salon once.”

roo the gasped, turning around to face her friend with her jaw slack in shock—sarcasm written all over her face—“you had a job? like an actual job? once upon a time?”

“oh shut the fuck up,” she waved off the racing driver and stood up from her seat on the couch over to the other. “now get up, let’s do this.”

about a half an hour into their attempt, nika and alex had set up a mini salon chair using one of the hotel’s dining table chairs with a layer of plastic sitting on the ground. the latter sat on a chair in the middle of the room with a cloth draped over the top of his body. if anyone were to come in through the front door right now, they would assume kidnapping with a side of chemical testing. nika herself had changed into one of her uglier shirts incase they would accidentally get some dye on it.

the alfa romeo driver, on the other hand, still sat where she was the entire time unmoving and un-helping, now having the large dog sat on her lap feeding treats off of her hand while the other scratches the dog between her ears.

“alright. i think that’s all of your hair.” the girl stepped back from her friend’s friend’s hair, admiring the work she’s done. “now we wait. —good luck al,” she said as she took off the plastic gloves that were now mostly green.

alex—whose chair was facing the door for some reason—gripped the chair with his two (clean) hands and moved it around along with himself so he can face the couch. “so…” he looked between his co-worker and her friend, “does she just… go everywhere with you?”

“yeah.” she answered shortly before continuing, “you guys have wags i have… this.”

he looked at nika again, “no offense to you, but—”

“it’s fine, have you met her?” she shrugged pointing at the little shit she unfortunately calls a friend.

he chuckled then continued, “what about daisy-mae? i thought she was your best friend?”

“she is. this one’s just fit baggage claim. plus—daisy’s a serious scholar she’s still very busy getting her degree.”

from the kitchen sink, nika scoffed, “yeah, while she’s stuck with me around the world, mae’s stuck with atticus in college.”

alex the jumped into the conversation at the familiar name, “oh! the drummer, right?”

“yes.”

“oh—hey,” nika turned around from the sink and walked to the closest counter to the two friends, “there’s still quite some left, who wants it?”

as if sensing an idea in the air, jet jumps off roo’s lap and ran into another room.

said girl sighs, “man, knew jet was too smart for trips like this. should’ve known i should’ve brought bennie instead.”

as if the dog heard her, a bark came from the other room.

“whatever. i guess that’s one option out the window,” she turns to nika over the counter, “do me!” she smiles happily.

“alright. your death wish.”

alex, who was momentarily smiling, dropped his previous expression, “wait what—”

te1enoviyuhs

liked by daisymaerose, selvnika, and 836,735 others

tagged: selvnika and lilymhe

te1enoviyuh some notes from yours truly:

lilymhe why did u have to dump babysitting duties

and gooddyeyoung thank u for the hair dye i love hayley williams 🥰

and uh i guess awstenknight thanks for the hookup and free dye

and to everyone else!!!! hey. dump acc just dropped

see all 836 comments.

backbiteroo WHO LET YOU DO THIS

te1enoviyuh backbiteroo myself. i am a grown woman.

selvnika the nika salon is now open for business 🥰

te1enoviyuh selvnika i hope you bankrupt and close

selvnika te1enoviyuh kiss yourself.

norrislftv selvnika ??????

norrislftv OH

alex_albon why was i not tagged 😕 i thought we were twins now

te1enoviyuh alex_albon hm. sure. u wish

daisymaerose hi jet

liked by te1enoviyuh

gaslytv what does... alex mean... when he said... twins...

schupastry this is so random but so cute

awstenknight youre welcome grinch

te1enoviyuh awstenknight 🖕

lilymhe 😬😬 i apologize for having a job

te1enoviyuh lilymhe don’t apologize for that. apologize for not taking ur kid to work.

lilymhe te1enoviyuh that i won’t apologize for.

50kidgaroos BABE WAKE UP NEW DUMP ACCOUNT JUST DROPPED

taglist; @treehouse-mouse @disneyprincemuke @yansbolobao @leilanixx @judespoision @vellicora @bborra

[ririsasy]

Comparing how Deva react when someone touched Varadha (his moon and sun) vs Aadhya (the supposed love interest somehow)

Deva here was so annoying lmao I feel so so bad for Aadhya 😭 I mean when the goon literally grabbed Aadhya into their arms and took selfie with her blatantly in front of him, what did he do? Lmao he just stand there like not reacting or reacting but it’s just so delayed, in the 1st gif he was staring at what they do to her but there’s no uncontrollable instant rage there because he still could hold that tiffin carrier perfectly without shaking even a little bit 😂😂 and he only moves his feet forward after the goon started dragging Aadhya with them.

Compare the shaking rage when Naarang touched Varadha (in video format we could see better how badly his hands shook with anger[1]) even after he had killed the man, separate the head from his body, the anger still fresh in his bones to the point he was still shaking even after they have reached their prison cells, just thinking about it again enough to reignite his fury. He wished he could have killed Naarang all over again for such offense.

But with Aadhywe saw that he could even hold himself back quickly afterward and even went as far as stepping one step back lmao so freaking annoying 😭😭 man your mother told you not to fight, she wasn’t forbidding you from showing your emotions or anything unless there’s none when it’s not about your Varadha, his annoying ass care more about Amma caught him with a cigarette in his hand that he quickly hide it behind his back as soon as he saw Amma 😭 drop the freaking cigarette already boy this wasn’t the time to care about such thing!! Drop the food container too instead just drop everything and quickly show a fist !!!

I am gonna compare even the way Deva quickly form his fist [2] when he was angry for Varadha here, it was spontaneous yet again the fury inside him building up that he couldn't control it, he could unclench his fist only after Varadha basically soothed him with his fingers here.

to the way how long it took Deva just to form a fist when he was saving Aadhya lmao it took him at least 5 minutes (I am not even kidding a literal 5 minutes from the time that goon grabbed and dragged Aadhya to Deva finally throw the first punch, Prashanth really is not serious at all to make them as love interest) even though you’re not gonna use your fist but show some real anger to us audiences with your body language boy 😬 react!! That’s your future baby mama (say sike) as your director intended boy.

Let’s compare Deva’s reaction when it is his real baby mama that his heart desire Varadha. At first Naarang looked only at Deva, Deva immediately accepted his fate, he looked down ready to die for his own action, it was him who killed Vishnu during the ceasefire so he was ready to die for that, he’s okay with his fate because he didn’t regret his action it was the right thing to do and for his conscience.

But then Naarang looked over Varadha, this was just a mere look okay, Naarang shifting his gaze from him to Varadha and this little movement of an eyeball enough to make Deva react instantly, look how immediately he was moving in front of Varadha to shield him even from Naarang’s gaze, only then he experienced dread in his bones, his face looked so panicked, only now he felt the weight of his action. This man is insane when it came to Varadha’s safety you can’t play with it at all.

Then when Naarang step one step forward, Deva already sprinting toward him because no, not Varadha, not when he’s still breathing he just couldn’t handle it, his whole being couldn’t handle the possibility of seeing Varadha to be in any kind of harm when he’s right there with him and he was the cause for Varadha to be in that danger.

Only then he knows regret, now he is regretting his impulsive action (even though it was the right thing to do but if it caused Varadha's life, he rather not do it, he basically was wishing he could turn back time so he didn't have to kill Vishnu, selling his own principle even his own soul and conscience) because the price is too great which is Varadha's safety that's why suddenly this strong capable man who just killed dozens of people plead, pleaded with his hands clasped together in front his chest, there's fear in his expression he was so desperate, he went as far as begged on his knees, anything he would do for Varadha.

It resonated with what Amma said 7 years after this event like either plead or make them bleed, just stop them (the way you did back then when you desperately want to save your loved one, oh Amma have heard this story from Bilal again and again and this was definitely the call back for that action) because Deva did both for Varadha, he will plead for his safety, will be on his knees begging and definitely (as last resort) will make anyone who dare to lay their hands on Varadha bleed.

Deva looked so damn pitiful I feel so sorry for him, the whole court room was watching, this was honestly another declaration of love from Deva just like the way he did 25 years ago when he held the electric wire in his hands and bleed for Varadha in front of the crowd putting a nose ring back to him with his own hand. I mean you have to be blind or deaf in Khansaar after this blatant display of devotion in front of the entire courtroom from Deva to Varadha to not understand that Deva belongs to Varadha body and soul.

I know how scared Deva was in this moment because he didn't even flinch or heard even Varadha's own warning anymore to just stop, because just like Deva, Varadha was also so ready to die in Deva's state (because for Varadha he was the one to blame, he brought Deva to this wretched place that is Khansaar knowing damn well of his hero complex and his impulsive tendency to fight what's wrong and Khansaar is full of all the damn wrong things).

Deva's focus was solely in making Naarang to stop going toward Varadha, he was just getting knocked with the back of that sword on his head but he quickly get back up to put himself between Varadha and Naarang again, and went as far as grabbing Naarang's shoulders forcing him to face him and yet again making himself as a shield for Varadha with his body so Naarang couldn't even look at Varadha.

Also in this moment when they taunted to touch Aadhya, oh Deva was mad, I mean who wouldn't be mad when you see a girl getting harrassed right in front of you, but the eyes weren't actually murderous kind of mad and he still could hold himself back, he was angry for Aadhya because she didn't deserve to be treated that way, because it was just generally wrong and anyone with conscience would be furious for Aadhya's sake and would love to teach those goons a good beating lesson.

But with Varadha it was so damn personal, Varadha belongs to him and no one should touch him, the way his expression flipped instantly to murderous intent [3] as soon as Naarang touched Varadha, and he wasn't even looking but he was that offended!! I mean also the way he was ready to jump at Vishnu's men who "only accidentally" brushed Varadha's shoulder but his fury was something else if Varadha didn't stop him he definitely gonna beat them into pulp too.

The conclusion of Deva's action (reaction) in this essay is that was the case of common rage, natural rage in the face of evil wrongdoings when he was fighting for Aadhya because that was the right thing to do because he was a capable man for that VS the instant uncontrollable rage that's so personal it offended his entire soul when he was fighting for Varadha because he was protecting the one he considered his family, part of his own soul, the one who we usually call a lover.

If I was Aadhya I too would have laughed pitifully at myself lmao for falling for a man who already have his own moon and sun that he would do anything for

Comparing how he was reacting when he was saving me to when he was with his own baby lmao “damn that man is clearly not right in the head. A true maniac and it’s all for Varadha’s sake.” . Aadhya is pretty much aware to whom Deva belongs to after she listened the full story from Bilal about their relationship, just like Radha Rama who said that Deva is Varadha’s Salaar, Aadhya said “Varadha got himself a maniac” lol everyone with eyes and perfect ears listening to their story alone enough to understand and know that these two men belong to each other and no one can come between them. (And definitely not a new girl from USA who just came to Deva's life maximum 7 days 😭 girl just go home. It's 7 years + 25 years + 10 years of pining against your 7 days. You have lost before even fighting this battle girl.)

[hanmaitani]

When vs If

PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 3.1K GENRE - Angst SYNOPSIS - You said 'if', when did it stop being 'when'?

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

You had convinced yourself that you were overreacting. Nothing was wrong. You were being paranoid based off of past experiences. You had convinced yourself, or he had convinced you. You were imagining it when you thought he was acting like something had been bothering him.

You were only being insecure every time you asked, just to make sure, when he was acting like something was wrong, when he swore nothing was wrong and he was just tired. "Are you going to break up with me?"

Tooru had convinced you that you were overreacting when he always replied with the same answer. "Of course not baby, you're never going to get rid of me. I'm here to annoy you for the rest of our lives."

He convinced you to ignore the gut feeling you had about it. Just three days ago, when you were driving to look at apartments, he brought up just building yourselves a house, just like how you wanted to. Told you that eventually, when you moved cities, it could become a summer vacation home and they could build another to raise your kids in.

He convinced you when he talked to his family, telling his nephew about how you were an addition to the family. When his family praised you for taking care of him.

You always took care of him. More than he asked.

You packed him lunches and made breakfasts and dinners. You made sure the laundry was done and tried to clean. You made sure to remind him to take care of himself too, to not overstress himself the exact way you did.

Every time you crashed down and thought that maybe your love was overbearing, that you didn't get the same reciprocation. Every time you asked "are you going to break up with me," he assured you that he wouldn't. He'd pepper your cheeks with kisses and hold you while you sniffled back your tears.

Ending college was hard. There were so many unknowns. Finishing up the last project of the year was infinitely harder. You were way past your deadline for it but you had an indefinite extension. The only limit was the one you put on yourself, getting it in by the end of summer.

The concern of where you would live the next year only added to it. You and Tooru's original decision of no roommates had morphed into him slowly trying to push the idea of sharing a space. A last resort, he called it.

You worked two jobs trying to prepare to move, trying to avoid the stress of thinking about it. To make sure that you had enough money for the new place. So once you got there, there would be no more worries.

Today was the end to a long week. Sunday. Your last shift until the next Monday. You'd agreed with T0oru to take the whole week off to pack your house and move into a storage unit. You were both supposed to crash at Makki and Mattsun's until you'd heard back from the complex you were putting an application into tomorrow.

You were off by 3pm, your boss having let you off early so that you could go home and start packing. You'd lost track of time since then, a show playing in the background as you packed all the clothes that you wouldn't need for the next three weeks (just to be sure).

It was almost 8 before you decided on a small break. Almost 8 until you realized that you hadn't heard from Tooru all day. The only thing bringing this to your attention now, was his name finally popping up on your phone

He was supposed to be off at 8:30. Just 30 more minutes before he would be coming home and you could make your official plan about how to tackle the upcoming week and everything else moving forward.

He'd sent you a snapchat with a filter on, little horns coming out of his brown curls and a silly look on his face, tongue poking out at you. You'd laughed and sent one back quickly. Silly pictures sent back and forth and only a small bit of conversation as you waited for him to be finished at work. 'How was your day today?' 'Long.' 'Yeah, me too. I'm so exhausted.'

It was finally time for him to be off, you could tell by the way that the scenery behind him changed from inside the gym to the open sky of the parking lot. You decided to ask if he wanted to get the food you'd been craving.

From y/n <3: How do you feel about getting pizza when you come home?

That was when the dreaded text came in. The worst thing you could say to an overthinker.

From Royal Pain <3: Okay. I just want to talk to you about something first.

Your heart stopped in your chest. Sudden pressure, tightness winding from your heart and consuming your lungs.

From y/n <3: About what? Should I be anxious?

He took too long to open it and the bubbling anxiety forced you to hit call on his number. You were greeted with the rumble of his car engine when he picked up. "Should I be anxious?" You repeated the question out loud and he sighed.

"No, no sorry." He apologizes and sighs again. "I know that was suck wording, I just wanted to sit down and have a conversation about some things."

You could hear the tightness in your voice, like your anxiety circled each word as you spoke. "Okay, what things?"

"Love, I'm gonna be home in like 5 minutes and we'll talk."

Your legs moved on their own accord, lifting you off of your shared bed and taking you downstairs as he spoke, your need to pace arising. Pace to get out all the anxiety that built inside you.

You didn't want to push him. "Okay, I love you, Tooru."

"Love you too, I'll be right there."

You found yourself in the garage, carried by your feet subconsciously. You'd tucked yourself safely into the little corner of the couch you and your roommates had kept in there. Brought your knees to your chest and covered yourself in a blanket.

You were trying to will your anxiety to stop. He promised he wasn't leaving. He just wants to talk.

"What are you doing out here?" Tooru asked when he found you after looking through the house. "I thought you'd be in our room."

"I had anxiety and just kinda ended up here." You mumbled and he nodded in return. You waited for him to sit next to you. He didn't. He stayed standing. "Tooru, can you please tell me what's up?"

He took a deep sigh before starting. "There's a few things that have been bothering me about our relationship and I just want to try and talk them out before I keep bottling them up. Before they get so bad that they aren't fixable anymore."

You felt the anxiety building up even more and you winced. You had been doing something wrong. Like always. And then there was a quick rush of anger.

He had said 'keep bottling them up.'

He had sat there and convinced you that you'd been imagining it. He had convinced you that the gut feeling you had about something being wrong with him was fucking incorrect.

You wanted to scream. All you did was whisper. "Okay."

He listed out his reasons and you tried to stay quiet. You tried to listen. To look at him. But every time you looked at him you could see him breaking your heart a million times. You couldn't hold the contract for very long.

You were trying to not cry. You were trying to explain yourself when he said there was something you did. You were apologizing. Apologies formed in the frame of: 'I'm sorry.' 'I didn't realize I-' 'I did it because..."

You never got to finish your reasons with another "I'm sorry if I hurt you." You were trying to get there but he always cut you off.

"I don't get why you have to argue with me." He exclaimed the last time he cuts you off. You pause. Was that what you were doing? Had you been arguing? "I'm just trying to tell you what's wrong so we can fix it."

"I'm not trying to argue!" You defended yourself. "I was just explaining why I did it so you could see where I was coming from." You wiped your palms against your cheeks in frustration, trying desperately to keep the tears back.

"It's easier to fix if we get where the other is coming from, we can find somewhere to meet in the middle." You whimpered at the eyeroll you knew he'd done subconsciously. "Please, this is hard for me. It feels like you're breaking up with me."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, shaking out some of his curls. "I'm not breaking up with you. I told you that." The words should have been comforting, but something about them made you more on edge. The tone in which he said them. Exasperation.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your anger getting a hold on you a little more, trying to protect yourself, "you also told me, repeatedly, that nothing was wrong." His eyes snapped back to you but you quickly looked away. The second that he looked at you softly, you would do anything he asked. You would lose yourself. Lose your will to fight for yourself to be heard.

"Now here you are, telling me that you were lying to me." You could feel a tear escape and you quickly brushed it away before he could take it in. "How do I know you were telling the truth every time you said you weren't going to leave me?" It was harsh but it was the truth you needed to say.

"Why don't you believe me? Huh?" He was raising his voice, something he rarely did, especially at you. "Is it trust issues or what?" He spit the words out, like they tasted bad on his tongue and you could see him fling his arms in the air from the corner of your eye.

"You are always 'your tone of voice' and 'your body language says'... God! Can you not just believe me!" He ended it with a groan. Frustration or annoyance, you couldn't tell, maybe it was a mix of both.

"I'm sorry, I just pick up on the way you act and underlying tones, it's a bad habit, I'm trying to stop." You were trying to drag your eyes back to him. He was looking down at you, standing instead of sitting on the couch with you, shaking his head at your responses.

"You can't just believe me? I don't get your whole thing about tone and whatever. But if we get married one day-"

You cut him off quickly, your full attention going to look at his face, to see if he realized what he'd done. "What do you mean 'if'?"

"What?" Genuine confusion crossed his face as he looked back at you, confused at the wide-eyes look across your own face as you looked up at him. You knew that terror was visibly seeping into each of your features.

"You said, 'if we get married one day'."

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders in indifference. "And?"

"When did that become 'if'?" You asked the voice quietly, your voice barely rising to an audible level. You were afraid of the response. "Its always been 'when we get married', 'when we have kids', 'when'." He sighed and bit his lip out of what you assumed was his own nerves. "It's always been 'when' for me and I thought it was too. So when did 'when' become 'if'?"

"I don't know." He took a step back away from you, turning his body slightly away from you. It didn't go unnoticed by you. "A couple months ago?"

You scoffed in disbelief. A couple months. He'd been lying to you for a couple months. "Okay," you whispered, "you wanna know why I read into tone and body language?" You asked the question and he only rolled his eyes again. You didn't care, you kept talking.

"You just stepped away from me when you were talking about that. When you were talking about mentally changing the way you thought about us being together long term, you physically put distance between us. How am I supposed to take that?"

"You're not supposed to take it any way!" He exclaimed. "I got tired of standing without moving."

"Okay, why do you have to be standing, you can't put yourself on the same level as me. You have to be on a different level, to have all the control in this conversation. Like you've decided how this conversation ends."

"Oh my god!" He shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop fucking reading into everything!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe that he had to deal with this. to deal with me.

"You want to talk about body language? Then what the hell does it mean that you can't seem to look at me this entire conversation when all I've been doing is looking at you!"

"That I'm worried if I look at you I'll cry. That I don't want to cry because I know you need this off your chest and you'll blame yourself and stop if I cry." That if you look at him, at Oikawa Tooru, the man you decided was the love of your life, then you would see what you saw the very first day you met him and he gave you that saccharine smile. You would see him breaking you into a million pieces.

"Please just sit down." You whispered, begging him.

"Seriously?" He scoffed but collapsed on the other end of the couch. He sat closer the the front edge of the couch and leaned far back into the seat, a position that screamed about how he didn't care. "This is really better for you?"

You winced at the harshness of his tone. The condescension seeping through his words. He thought you were being ridiculous and he was making it clear. You hated it, but it was better than him standing and physically looking down at you.

"Yes." He sighs and shakes his head but stays silent. "Let's just talk through this and we can fix it. We can find a compromise." You swallowed hard trying to explain. You were trying the 'I'm going to stop doing...' It was fine for a little while. Until you started to ask for things in return too.

"I will try to stop raising my voice, I just need you to tell me I am. I don't realize it a lot, we have different views on yelling. I need you to tell me."

"I do!" He was rolling his eyes but staring straight ahead, no longer at you. "I say, 'why are we yelling?' is that not telling you that you're yelling?"

"That's not what I mean, I can't tell you why, I don't understand it, but it doesn't click for me. It makes me think you're talking down to me and I know you don't mean to. I just need you to tell me 'y/n you are yelling right now'."

He puffed air out of his nose, hands running through his hair again. "That doesn't fucking make sense. I don't understand how your brain works." You could feel the tightening in your chest becoming overwhelming. You didn't understand it either. "Whatever. Fine."

"Could you help me around the house too? I know I've been slacking on some of the chores like groceries and laundry, but I need help. You only ever get groceries if I'm already going and even then, sometimes you don't come. And I always do your laundry too but you only ever do yours unless I ask you specifically."

They were small things to you, things you didn't mind doing, but you knew you needed help. And if you were attempting to change for him you needed something back. Something to help you ease up on your stress.

It went on for a little longer, what you thought were minor requests being met with annoyance and hesitation. Until he stopped responding all together. It was like you could see it happening, him disengaging, the gears slowing down in his head as they settled on a solution.

"Please talk to me." You begged for it. You couldn't let him get caught in his head. "Don't go quiet. Tell me what you're thinking." Your voice was quiet and wet, tears threatening to spill more than they already had. "I know you're getting in your head. I can see it happening."

He shook his head softly, no eye roll paired with it this time, no irritation at you. He was staring blankly at the wall in front of you both, his fingers rubbing into his temple. "I'm trying to decide if this is even worth it."

You froze in place, your body turning into a statue, watching your world crumbling around you. "What?"

"I don't know if this is worth it." He said it plainly. It was just a fact. No emotions attached to it. You were pretty sure that you could physically feel your heart tearing in your chest. "Is this even something worth fixing? Is it worth the effort?"

"What do you mean?" You squeaked out the words. This had to be a nightmare. You were sure of it. "Of course it's worth it to try. It's us. Years of us, of course it's worth trying." You were sure you would wake up in the morning and it would have never happened.

"Tooru, look at me please." He turned his head slowly, an apologetic look in his eyes. You would wake up and this would've been a scene your anxiety created in your head. "Tooru, are you breaking up with me?" You would open your eyes and still be waiting for him to come home from work.

His eyes looked glossy, but he nodded his head. "I'm so sorry."

All of the times you thought about it. All the times you had thought 'if he breaks up with me,' you had never thought 'when he breaks up with me'.

a/n thanks for coming to the free therapy of fictionalizing my irl breakup experiences. and yes. this was the actual way it happened

TAGLIST - OPEN @all-in-the-fandoms @pearl-blue-musings

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Arrangement

Ch 2 Exposed

Damian Wayne x OC!Female

Prev | Next

Robin enters the cave to find everyone there, including Duke, who should have been sleeping. The only one missing was Jason. Not for long, however, he drove in, parking his motorcycle next to Robin's and walking past him, removing his helmet and settling it on the counter. It seemed like a him vs them situation as they took one side of the cave and left him alone on the other. He was nervous, a bit scared. In his head, he was going over every possible wrong he had committed recently, but he could find none that would warrant a full audience. They didn't let him stew for long.

Without a word, Bruce hit a button on the computer, and it came alive, revealing a dozen images. The main subject is Damian and a girl in various locations and situations. And while his appearance changed between images, Robin to Civilian, she wore the same outfit in every picture, bearing the scandalous insignia of the League of Assasins. If that doesn't make it bad enough, the center photo was of him kissing her knuckles while she looked up at him lovingly in a bed. Damian stood before his father, sharing the same expressionless face. 

"Explain"

"I see me in various situations with ...my fiance." 

The silence was still, and one would have thought time had stopped, of course, time started again. When Alfred started to stumble, everyone moved quickly. Jason, the closest to him, gathered him before he could fall and pulled up a chair with Duke's help. It was after Alfred was settled that chaos erupted. Damian couldn't say who said what. 

"what the fuck!?"

"You know how to talk to girls?"

"He doesn't even like people!"

"I'm sorry, did you say fiance?"

"She's part of the league?"

"When did this happen???"

"When did he start dating?"

"You're still in high school, right?"

"ENOUGH," Bruce said, silencing everyone. He looked to Damian." Explain. Everything"

Damian 'T T' the truth was bound to come out. " It's an arranged marriage," ignoring the smug look Tim and Jason shared. " It was made between Ra's and Her father. I was always told I was supposed to rule, to conquer. I was supposed to continue the legacy, have an heir, and teach as I was taught. I was five years old when I was introduced to her. She was three. She is the second daughter. I didn't like her at first. But she was skilled. The arrangement was made, and she was my mother's choice."

"Makes sense," Tim said. Dick smacked him upside the head.

"Ra's made the arrangement> He's gone. We can- " 

" I agreed to it," he said, striking his father's conclusion and ending any planning. "After Ra's died, her father approached me about the arrangement. I agreed to continue, and we stayed in communication."

Dick stepped for " Why didn't you say anything?"

"Your reactions were predictable."

"This is the young friend you've been talking to over the years." Now, all eyes were on Alfred. Damian confidence stance starts to flatter, and he nods shyly. " We'll. I'd like to meet her."

"I... she's sleeping now."

"Obviously, it's 3 am, " Tim scoffed. 

"She'll be leaving soon. I'll speak to her tomorrow and see if she can make time for dinner, perhaps."

"Is she a part of the League?" Bruce asked- No, demanded.

"She's not a threat."

" If the League is operating In Gotham- ."

" She's here to see me. Her purpose here is not as nefarious as you want to believe."

"I believe we should take a moment. Maybe pick up the conversation tomorrow." Alfred could see where everything was heading; honestly, it was far too late in the night for such things. It was all too much. Following the orders of their patriarchy, everyone files upstairs to their respective rooms.

"Tim"

"I'm just clearing the screen and saving the files. I'll be up in a moment B" He gave a nod and quickly lef. Alfred would come later and see if he actually did as said. 

-

"Good morning"

"They know." She took a moment. This was definitely not the phone call she had expected this morning.

"How did you tell them?"

"I didn't. Apparently, Drake has been surveilling us for some time. I'm unsure as to how or when it started." Damian was losing his touch when she suspected something, and he dismissed her. She didn't think to question him; it was his city.

" I'm sorry," she apologized. " If I had been more stealthy, more hidden, this wouldn't have happened."

"Don't apologize. It was inevitable. I was a fool to think I could hide it for so long."  Damian was too busy in the bliss of having her to remember to hide her. That sounded wrong. " They want to meet you?" 

"Oh"

"I told them you'd be departing in a day or so. You don't have to." They fell into silence. He heard the chirps of morning birds on his end while she heard the muffled sounds of cars honking from early workers.

"I-"

"Damian?... do you want me to meet your family?" He had to take a moment. Did he want her to meet his family? No, he didn't. He didn't want to introduce her to his family. They hadn't even met her, and they had already formed an opinion, already judged her. And while he knew one meeting her, some would change their opinions of her, others would not and would continue villainizing her until she proved herself worthy. And he simply didn't want to go through that, at least not yet.

"I want you to meet Alfred."

"your grandfather? You want me to meet your grandfather?" '

He was safe. He was good. He'd see how much Damian cared for her and she for him, and he'd look past everything else... hopefully.

"Yes, he wants to meet you as well."

"Damian, I'd love to meet your Grandfather."

[atlasofthestaars]

[MK X READER] New Era - Chapter .011

first part | previous part | next part

NOTE: HERE WE ARE Y’ALL!! THE START OF THE OUTWORLD TOURNAMENT ARC!

Some context: For the sake of having more interactions and letting me write more I’m extending the tournament to have a fight per day + a bit more at the end. So basically the outworld tourney will be 7 days for each fight + a day or two more <3 

Havik made it in as a love interest! His poll was so chaotic, which I guess makes sense? Haha, Ashrah made it in too, and she was by far the closest we’ve had to the 50/50! Now that Ashrah’s chapter is done, it means that’s our completed love interest roster! I have updated all the tags/the intro to fit this!

Even though the poll for chapter 10 is done on Tumblr, I do need to still calculate the votes from AO3 too, so that means it’s mainly between Johnny vs Bi Han, so I’ll announce the winner of that next chapter.

Here’s a genuine thank you all for reading this <3 I am overwhelmed by all the love and support you guys give, you’re all so amazing! Also haha sorry how long this took to finally get out.

FROM THE EYES OF ONE WHO EXPERIENCES OUTWORLD FOR THE FIRST TIME

You barely had time to decipher the memories you had unlocked.

You, after all, had other duties to attend to. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself. The tournament was a week away after all, so you had a lot of last minute duties you wanted to wrap up before going away for a little over a week. Or at least, that long assuming Raiden would win his challenges. You were thankful for the last minute tasks you had found to busy yourself with. You weren’t quite sure if you really wanted to dwell on what you had seen.

It, in all honesty, scared you. 

How else were you supposed to respond to suddenly seeing a bunch of gore and having a major part of your backstory unlocked? You were handed the burden of learning that you went through, and yet it only added more questions. Throughout the week you considered confiding in Liu Kang about it all: telling him how you’re terrified of what you saw, and how you’re sorry you lied.

But you just couldn’t.

Fear grasped at you, sewing your mouth shut. It wasn’t as if you were afraid of Liu Kang hating you at first. You’re certain Liu Kang would allow you to tell him your tale with no judgement. You’d even bet on your own life that he would even comfort you for what you saw. He was far too kind to you. But then your mind kept on spiraling over the idea of what happens after.

He’d ask why you lied. Then he’d find out you’ve always lied about your memories, or at least not told him about them. It was a slippery slope. And there was just a lot of things to unpack there that would surely fracture the relationship between you and the god. And, while you weren’t taking advantage of him, the selfish voice in your head whispered how you couldn’t ruin the only chance at Outworld and finally find out more.

You came up with a solution to calm your nerves, even just a bit, that maybe you should finally tell him after the trip…assuming you got the courage to.

You weren’t sure if you trusted yourself on your little solution though, after all your mind poisoned your thoughts, still telling you that it was better you lied to him and to continue to lie to him. It had worked out so far, why change things? After all, you had a gut feeling that Liu Kang was keeping back secrets from you too. It was just a gut feeling, but you trusted your gut. But you also trusted Liu Kang. It was a debate you kept on going back and forth on, and could never figure out a conclusion to. 

You felt like you had a right to keep these things secret. He wasn’t obligated to know every single thing about you. The god probably had a reason to keep things from you as well, just like you did. You weren’t obligated to know everything either, even if you so desperately wanted to. Still, you selfishly decided for now it was fair to keep your own secrets. It was to protect yourself.

You were definitely visiting Madam Bo after this trip, maybe you needed some good advice on this one.

“Are you overworking yourself?” Liu Kang inquired as you passed by one afternoon. You had been going to and fro, trying to distract yourself. You stopped, the authority in his voice making you pause. You shifted in place, avoiding looking at him as you cast your gaze to the side. 

“No, I haven’t.” You had told him, which had been partially true. While you had been running around like a chicken whose head had been cut off, you hadn’t been over doing it. At least, by your standards. You took in a deep breath as you felt Liu Kang grab one of your hands. You looked up in surprise as his hand squeezed yours gently.

“Good.” He said, his voice full of warmth. Your stomach squirmed as you were filled with guilt at the look he gave you. A smile was on his lips. His thumb gently rubbed a few circles on the back of your hand, as if he were casting a protective spell on you. “I’m proud of how well you trained Raiden and the others. I am certain Raiden will do great at the tournament.”

You were at a loss of words, feeling your chest tighten. You nodded instead, and Liu Kang dropped your hand. He gave you a pat on the back as he passed you, walking off to what you assumed was the Wu Shi to help Raiden. You felt…colder. You supposed it was simply a side effect of Liu Kang being a fire god and him no longer being by your side.

Liu Kang made keeping secrets difficult.

Still, despite your worries, the week breezed by fast. And now you found yourself standing in front of the Fire Temple, waiting for your students and the monks to arrive. You swallowed your nerves, trying to force yourself to feel more relaxed. This was supposed to be exciting after all.

To your delight, you weren’t waiting long. The monks first arrived, and you directed them happily to the waiting area for whenever Liu Kang was ready. Many of them had regarded you warmly. Then, you smiled as you saw your four students come and arrive. 

“Excited?” You inquired as they drew closer. You scanned them, noting their choice of outfits. It had been a while since you’ve seen them wear anything other than their most casual clothes or their Shaolin uniforms. It was a bit odd, but it was a breath of fresh air. The outfits suited them well.

“I’m excited, albeit a bit overwhelmed and nervous.” Raiden admitted a mixture of nervousness and a genuine smile on his face. He tipped his head forward, his straw hat obscuring the look on his face. Despite that, you forced your gaze on his head, trying to avoid the amulet that sent fear down your spine. You wanted to look at anything but that right now

“Psh, you’ll be fine.” Kung Lao scoffed, placing a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. He shot you a look of disbelief as he gestured to the new champion. “He’s been in his head about this whole thing, can you believe it?” He looked back over to his friend, shaking him slightly with the hand on his shoulder. “You have to be more confident. If you can beat me you can handle them all.” You smiled at his encouragement nodding. 

“Kung Lao’s right, Raiden.” You told him, crossing your arms. “There’s a reason why you’re our champion.” You watched as Raiden’s head lifted up, a more confident expression on his face, though it was still tinged with a bit of nervousness. “Be confident in your abilities, otherwise I will start to think I’m a bad teacher.” You jested, adding on a small chuckle.

“You are anything but that.” Raiden commented, making your smile grow just a bit wider. The others nodding as well warmed your heart. You shooed them off after that short moment, yet one of them hung back to linger. While the Fengjian farmers were too caught up talking to each other to notice, you noted the side eye Kenshi shot Johnny as he hung back. Odd.

“You aren’t exempt from waiting with the others, you know.” You said, raising an eyebrow as you eyed Johnny. The actor shot you his signature grin, which you both knew didn’t work on you. With a confident stride, Johnny slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled out his phone. You raised an eyebrow at the casual contact, but didn’t shrug him off. Over the last few months, ever since the late night discussion, you’ve grown used to the causal contact.

You just assumed Johnny was getting more friendly with you.

“I know, teach.” Johnny said, causally scrolling through his phone. You tried to keep your gaze away from it out of respect, but the temptation was strong. “But I think I have something that might interest you.” He said, sending you a sly look. You simply looked at him with an unimpressed look, and he took it as his cue to continue on. “I hear you and hat boy had a bet?” He inquired, still showing off his pearly whites to you.

“And what of it?” You asked, placing a hand on your hip as you sent him a skeptical look. Your head tilted as you thought of why he would bring it up. You figured it wasn’t the oddest thing he knew about it, Kung Lao had probably bragged about his victory to the group. You had settled that you would make him his feast after the trip.

“Well, what if I told you I might have some video evidence that might please you?” He said, his voice dripping with confidence. Your eyebrows raised again, and you pursed your lips, not knowing what to make of his offer. “Listen, it’s all legit. I recorded the hat kid and thunder lad discussing something and you might be interested in seeing it.” He egged you on.

“And why are you telling me this?” You inquired, looking at Johnny with the same skeptical look, not quite yet taking the bait.

“Look, I like you teach, so I wanna cut you a sweet deal.” The actor said, and you knew he was trying to work up his charisma. “You get the ultimate evidence towards Kung Lao so you rectify your little bet and I get a little reward too.” Johnny offered, waving his phone with a paused video on the screen. Now he was deliberately showing you the screen.

You squinted at the phone. You could see the back of Kung Lao, he seemed to be talking to Raiden who seemed to have a somewhat disapproving look on his face. You looked more carefully. It seemed to be the same day of the exam, so it would fall under the betting time. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. What do you want?” You asked, a small sigh leaving your lips as you finally relented. You saw Johnny’s grin grow wider as he raised his eyebrows in a cocky manner. His smile turned into a self assured smirk, thinking he had you in his trap.

“I saw from tattoo that you started hooking him up with some sweet meals.” He started, and you blinked in surprise at the topic of conversation. You nodded, then let him speak more. “I think that little feast you were planning to make that hat boy, you give to me…and Madam Bo’s special tea.”

“I’ll give you Madam Bo’s special tea and just one meal.” You counter offered quickly, crossing your arms. You watched as Johnny Cage sent you an offended look. You held back a chuckle of amusement at the expression. 

“After my generous deal?” The American asked, his face scrunching up. “No way, wildstyle!” He scoffed, a small pout on his lips. You shook your head in amusement as you sent him a look.

“You may think you have the high ground here with your little offer, but you gave me more information than you thought you did.” You said, pointing at his phone screen. His eyes glanced over to the paused screen. “I can just ask Raiden if Kung Lao cut his finger.” You pointed out. “I think he’d be more likely to tell me if I just asked.”

“Hm…” Johnny stared at you for a good long moment. You could see the gears turning in his head at your point. You assumed he had plenty of experience in this sort of thing.  “You think that golden boy would betray his best buddy like that?” 

“Maybe, maybe not, but I can always offer him what I offered youI’m certain he’d take the deal and you’d be left with nothing.” You point out with a shrug, trying to hold out a little on your bluff. You weren’t entirely sure if Raiden would take your offer, but it was worth a bluff. 

“Fine.” Johnny groaned with a pout, his head dropping. His head brushed your shoulder, and you rolled your eyes in a playful way. “You drive a hard bargain. You ever consider becoming an agent for Hollywood?” He inquired, tilting his head to look at you, his cheek still resting on your shoulder. “I could use someone like you.”

“Hah, funny offer.” You laughed, and Johnny’s smile returned in a more sincere way. “I think I’d rather act in one of your movies than become whatever your agent is.” You remarked, which grew Johnny’s smile even more. You used your hand to move his head off your shoulder. “Chin up, Johnny.”

“Really now?” He said, a hint of amusement and hope in his voice. “I’ll be holding you up to that statement, you know.” Johnny said, nudging you a bit with his shoulder.

“I didn’t commit to anything, Cage.” You pointed out with a small shake of your head. “Now show me the video you were bragging so much about.” You commanded, looking from the actor to the paused video he had been waving in front of your face. With a small smile, he tapped the screen, unpausing the video.

You watched as Kung Lao approached Raiden, talking to him about something. His back was to the camera, so it was a bit hard to see what he was exactly doing, but you can glean enough from what he was saying. You could see him, or at least you assumed, trace the brim of the hat. Then you heard an “ow” and the man winced.

You watched with a slow smirk spreading across your lips as he froze, before quickly telling Raiden that he “didn’t see anything”. Raiden looked very confused at the sudden command, which prompted Kung Lao to tell him that he would just “tell him later”. All he had to do was just not tell you about it.

“There, as promised.” Johnny told you, a cheeky grin sent your way. You returned the look before peering back down at the video, which continued to play, showing Kung Lao now showing off his hat. “Aren’t you glad I’m looking out for you, wildstyle?”

“I’m honored.” You replied sarcastically, playfully rolling your eyes. “A person who was actually looking out for me would tell me without wanting something in return, you know.” You pointed out. “Still grateful though. I have to ask, why were you interested in my cooking all of a sudden?”

“Hey, nothing comes for free.” Johnny said, shrugging his shoulders causally. “You’re welcome, by the way.” The American paused, humming as he pursed his lips. “Well, it started when I caught tattoo holding one of your meals. It looked delicious, he didn’t let me try though.” He let out a dramatic sigh. “And then Kung Lao began bragging that he’d get a full feast from you and well…” He shook his phone, and you connected the dots.

“I get it.” You said, nodding. You realized how long the two of you had been standing around for. You send him a small smirk and you let out a small laugh. “You could have just asked for food if you really wanted it, but I appreciate the help.” You admitted, before shrugging off his arm and walking ahead, gesturing for him to follow. “Now come on.”

“Wait, you would really?” Johnny called out after you, following you closely. He raised his eyebrows, scanning your face with a hint of suspicion. “Where’s the catch here?” He inquired, the suspicion leaking into his voice.

“You’ve known me long enough, Johnny.” You told him, looking over to him with an amused look. “There’s no catch. I don’t mind doing that kind of stuff for you guys.” You said, which was true. You wouldn’t mind doing anything for them as long as it made them happy. You always were too much of a people pleaser.

“Yeah, I should have known.” The actor said with a sigh. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking over at you. “You’re way too generous, you know that?” He told you, which led to you letting out a small chuckle of surprise. “Here, use this to stick it to Kung Lao, just give it back before we head out.” You caught Johnny’s phone when he tossed it over to you, then he jogged ahead.

You smiled as you held the phone. While he wasn’t the most protective over it, you still felt a sense of trust put in you due to you holding the precious object. With a little more pep in your step as well as the determination of a person with a vengeance, you walked over to Kung Lao, tapping his shoulder. You hid the phone behind your back as the man turned around.

“Yes?” The former farmhand inquired, sending you a confident smile. You had a feeling he was still feeling a bit smug after “winning” the bet. You let a slow smirk spread across your lips, then your eyes fell to look at his shirt. Your brain paused as you took a moment to stare at the dragon design on the left side.

Was that the same design as the necklace you were wearing? You wondered over that fact for a moment as you realized, yes…yes it was. Your smirk turned into a smile for a moment as you realized this. It felt…nice to be matching with him.

“I heard from a little birdie that you lied.” You said, breaking your gaze away from his shirt. Your smile turned into a smirk again. You watched as Kung Lao looked at you with pure confusion. “I’m referring to the bet that we had between us.” You clarified. Then, you watched as he sent a look over to Raiden, who simply shrugged. 

“Me? Lie?” Kung Lao inquired, raising his eyebrows as he pretended to not know what you were talking about. He crossed his arms, his head tilting upwards. “Hah! I would never.” He said, his self confident front holding up. You would have believed it too, had you not witnessed the video that Johnny had given you.

“I wouldn’t lie Kung Lao, that’s not something neither I or the monks taught you.” You chided playfully. An offended look appeared on the man’s face, then it turned into surprise as you revealed the phone you had hidden behind your back. “Want to confess now? Or should I show the damning evidence I was so preciously given?”

“I…uh…” Kung Lao floundered, searching for an excuse to spin the tale in his favor. You assumed from the screen he already knew what the video was going to show. After a few moments, he sighed in resignation. “Okay. you got me.” He admitted, hanging his head. You nodded slowly, crossing your arms. “Sorry?” He said, giving a half apology with a small shrug with an apologetic smile. You let out a laugh. 

“Apology accepted, though I thought you’d have more honor in a bet since you do it so much.” You pointed out, which prompted a somewhat guilty look from the man. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you do anything bad.” You told him, the wicked smile spreading across your lips said otherwise. You watched as Kung Lao looked like he regretted his actions, though you did hear him mutter under his breath he would definitely be getting Johnny back for this betrayal.

“I see we have all gathered.” Liu Kang spoke up, walking up to the group that gathered. His gaze swept over the group that you had gathered, an approving look on his face. You noticed Kenshi and Johnny walked up beside you, and you handed over the phone back to the actor. “It is time.” He told you all, leading you all into a pavilion. 

Excitement filled you as Liu Kang began to summon the portal. From the corner of your eye, you watched as Johnny began to record the process. However, as the portal began to form, your excitement turned into a massive headache, and you let out a small hiss as you clutched your head. This was worse than any headache you’ve had recently.

“Are you okay?” Kenshi whispered, leaning towards you. He placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked over, trying to send him a convincing smile. He didn’t buy it, and a look of concern remained on his face as he looked at you.

“I’m fine.” You managed to say, your smile wavering as your head pounded with searing pain. “I just get massive migraines sometimes.” You lie, the same lie you’ve always used whenever someone that wasn’t Liu Kang caught you having these pains.

“I see.” Kenshi said, yet his hand remained on your shoulder as a source of comfort. He tried to send you a reassuring smile. It helped a bit, even if it didn’t alleviate the pain at all. His hand on your shoulder was doing more to help you. It felt like an anchor to the real world amidst all the pain. You leaned slightly towards the swordsman, allowing yourself to temporarily lean against him. He let you, his grip growing firmer.

The light of the portal flashed and pulsed, orange light shining on all of your faces. Had you not been in pain, you figured you would have appreciated how beautiful it was. But now, it just served to add to your nausea. You breathed in, trying to go through the pain. You could only hope it only got better.

“Outworld can be both alien and intoxicating to Earthrealmers.” Liu Kang spoke, and you forced yourself to focus on his voice to drown out the pain. “Do not become drawn in.” The fire god warned. You wondered briefly, if that extended to you. You nodded slowly, regretting it as it felt like you were beginning to sway. Kenshi righted you, using his hand to make sure you didn’t fall over. “You must focus on the task at hand.”

Soon enough, the portal was completed. With confident strides, Liu Kang entered the portal composed of pulsing and swirling orange energy. You followed in tow, Kenshi’s hand staying on your shoulder for only a few more moments to make sure you were alright before dropping. You bit the inside of your cheek and clenched your fists, trying to abate the pain.

You barely noticed Johnny pointing the camera your way. With a huff, Kenshi shoved the camera away, sending him a look. This made the actor send him a look of disbelief at the action. You managed to send the ex gang member a grateful look before you stepped to the otherside of the portal.

For a moment, you experienced nothingness. You couldn’t see, hear, feel, or sense anything in general. Then, there was a searing pain that engulfed your entire body. You tried to scream, but it was as if you lost your voice. It was as if your headache had spread across your form and had been multiplied by ten. Thankfully, it was only for a moment and then it disappeared.

It seemed the pain dissipating had taken the bulk of your headache, leaving you only with a dull discomfort. It was akin to a slight pressure in your head, nowhere near as bad. It was an annoyance, but it wasn’t unbearable anymore.

 After a moment, you found yourself emerging on the other side of the portal. Your eyes widened as you looked around, wondering if anyone else had gone through an excruciating experience like you. As you watched their reactions, you realized they must have not. The others were immersed in the beauty of the world, and you doubted they would look as relaxed as that if they had gone through the same thing. So, you forced yourself to focus on the area around you

Gone was the desolate and war torn Outworld that your brain knew. Instead, you were greeted with a world full of beauty and life. You felt torn. You were happy it looked to be thriving as much as Liu Kang had told you. And yet, at the same time, you wondered if this world was going to be able to offer you anything useful to your past with how…different it was.

Still, you found yourself in awe of the area. It looked like a garden was surrounding the portal, which seemed to be integrated beautifully into the architecture. Whites, purples, and greens were the main color scheme of the area, giving it a regal vibe.

“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kanas anymore.” Johnny remarked as he filmed the area, and you recalled when Johnny had put on that movie during one of the movie nights. You felt a bit happy that you could actually recognize one of his movie references.

As your gaze wandered from the area itself to what was in front of you, your eyes finally settled on two figures dressed in pink and blue respectively. They stood amongst dozens of guards, all notably women. On the stairs, there was a beautifully woven purple carpet. It vaguely reminded you of the red carpet Johnny had bragged so much about. 

Your mind had a hazy realization that you recognized the two standing upon the steps. But through the dull pain, no memories popped up. You figured it was the result of too many memories trying to break free, much like when you had first trained the four champions.

“Oh my…are those?” Johnny Cage spoke, as the two figures approached, walking causally down the steps. He looked over to the group, assessing their reactions as he kept the camera facing forward. The others, predictably, did not share the actor’s sentiments.

“Empress Sindel’s daughters, yes.” Liu Kang replied, a hint of sterness in his voice. Taking that as your cue, you nudged Johnny, indicating to him to knock it off. Of course, the actor just sent you a pout. Liu Kang also looked back to send him a look.

“They do not disappoint.” Johnny continued to comment, earning another nudge from you. “Okay! Okay! I get it!” He hissed out. Your eyes landed on the guard closest to you. You and her made eye contact for a moment, which led to another feeling of familiarity hitting you. How many people would you meet that you knew previously?

“Please be respectful.” You told Johnny Cage, leaning towards him to whisper it in a discreet way. “We’re here as guests, and I’d rather not get on anyone’s bad side.” You said, giving him a pointed look. He sighed but nodded.

“Fine.” The actor agreed, holding back the childish urge to roll his eyes at your chiding. “Won’t stop me from at least admiring them, though.” Johnny relented, his gaze lingering on you for a few moments. He looked you up and down, much to your confusion before returning his gaze back to the Outworlders. 

As you all stopped in front of the blue and pink duo, Liu Kang bowed. Quickly, everyone followed suit, replicating the gesture.You focused your attention on the duo, trying to work out who they were. They definitely looked familiar…and they seemed near identical.

Ah. While your memories weren’t popping up, you made the connection. Liu Kang had pointed out these were the princesses. The pink one must be the older one, Mileena…which meant the blue one must be Kitana. As you recalled their names, your brain seemed to buzz, the dull pain strengthening temporarily in intensity. It was as if memories were fighting to rise to the surface. You definitely knew these two before.

“Lord Liu Kang, welcome.” Mileena spoke, nodding her head. A cordial smile was placed on her lips, and her eyes seemed to assess the group in front of her. Her sister also seemed to scan the crowd, though a polite smile did not reach her lips. Instead, an analytical look was on hers. You assumed she was already trying to find who it was that was to fight Outworld’s champions.

“Thank you, Princess Mileena.” Liu Kang said, a warm smile on his lips. You watched as the guard that had been by the side strode over to be closer to the princesses. You concentrated on the princesses’ faces, trying to see if trying to force any memories would help clear your head. It didn’t. If anything, it just increased the pressure of the pain, so you stopped trying to do it.

“You remember my sister?” Mileena inquired. She leaned back, looking over to Kitana who looked back at her in acknowledgement. 

“Of course.” Liu Kang replied. He then bowed once more. “Princess Kitana.” The other princess acknowledged his courtesy with a nod of her own. “May I introduce my companion,” The fire god spoke your name, and you bowed slightly, showing the same respect as Liu Kang did. “Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Kenshi Takahashi, and Earthrealm’s champion, Raiden.”

“I hope you’re prepared, Raiden.” Kitana spoke this time. An air of confidence filled her voice as she scrutinized your student. “Our champions are determined to win.” She said, her gaze falling upon her sister. You knew very well that Mileena was supposed to be one of the champions, as told to you by Liu Kang. Liu Kang had put himself in charge of preparing the champion, since you’ve never seen the fighting prowess of the Outworlders yourself.

“None more so than me.” The older twin said, self assuredness in her tone. Her gaze was steady, almost as if trying to intimidate Raiden with it alone. “It’s been too long since we’ve known victory.” She reminded the group, and you could tell she was determined to be the one to reclaim it.

“Princess Mileena.” The guard you saw from earlier spoke up. There was a hint of urgency within her tone as she spoke. She had gone up the steps to get closer to the princess. “We should be on our way, Empress Sindel awaits.”

“Thank you, Tanya.” Mileena replied. The name Tanya struck a chord in you. That was definitely familiar as well. You couldn’t tell if it was a blessing or a curse that you would be in such close proximity with people you supposedly knew before. “Follow me, please.”

You all followed the trio of women, walking down a hall that was flanked by guards. Mileena was leading the group. At the end, a line of royal carriages awaited. You soon found yourselves been split up into small groups to ride the carriages. You were in the first group, along with Liu Kang, Raiden, and Mileena. The guard from earlier, Tanya, took the reins. 

As the others slipped in, you considered where to sit. It wasn’t until the princess graciously gestured to the spot next to her that you allowed yourself to sit next to her. You didn’t want to be rude and assume, but you were grateful she didn’t seem to mind. You sat across from Raiden, with Liu Kang diagonally from you. 

As soon as everyone boarded their carriages, the carriage line set off. It was preceded by a joyous Shokan who played the drums. It was quite nice to see a man so enthusiastic over his job. The other guards, the Umgadi you recalled, flanked the carriages as you set off. You watched with amazement as you passed through Sun Do. It was colorful and alive, and you awkwardly smiled and at the people who gazed at you from the streets. You weren’t used to being marveled like this.

The people on the streets were dressed up in bright garb, and vendors were going around trying to take advantage of the festivities and trying to sell more of their wares. You even spotted some Outworlders cheering as they toasted their mugs together.

“Those are Centaurians.” Raiden said, the wonder clear in his voice. Raiden also had excitement on his face, though you supposed it was due to the novelty of it all. He did not share the same feelings as you did at that moment. “And Shokan!”A wide grin spread across his face, and it was all too easy to match his. His energy was contagious. 

“The six armed being as Naknadans.” Mileena informed, looking over the crowd. You wondered for a moment if she was simply informing him, or if the man, in his enthusiasm, had mixed up the Outworld races.

“The monks described them. But seeing them in person…” Raiden said, returning his gaze to Mileena to acknowledge her words towards him. He was unable to keep his attention on her for long, as he returned his attention back to the crowd soon enough. 

“I see Her Majesty once again spares no expense on the festival.” Liu Kang remarks, having observed the colorful atmosphere in silence. You raised your eyebrows, now wondering how the city looked without all the festivities. Was it just as beautiful? Either way, it was certainly an upgrade from what you remembered previously.

“Should she not?” Mileena replied, and you looked over. She had an almost offended look on her face, which caught you off guard. “It commemorates my late father.” She said, and you took note of that. You remembered how Liu Kang had told you about the brief history of the royal family, including the unfortunate death of King Jerrod.

“I think it is a wonderful celebration in memory of him.” You spoke up, your gaze landing on the decorations that were among the people and buildings. You voice carried the admiration you held for the beauty of it all. “Her Majesty made the capital look so wonderful, it must be an excellent reflection of your father.” You felt the princess’ gaze land on you, and you turned to send her a friendly smile.

Whistles were blown, and you turned to look over your shoulder to gaze at whatever was causing it. You saw a woman standing in the street, in the way of the procession. It seemed she was leading other guards, who were notably dressed differently than the Umgadi. You watched as those people led off a few people who seemed to be handcuffed. Your eyebrows furrowed. Not at the sight, but at the slight haze you felt upon seeing her, too. 

You wondered if you were bound to recognize a person every few minutes in this place.

Mileena knocked on the carriage frame, which prompted Tanya to stop the animals from continuing on. The princess whispered a small “excuse me” as she walked past you and Raiden, and hopped off the carriage. She strode over to the woman with what you assumed was thinly veiled frustration. 

You couldn’t hear the conversation well, but you did overhear that she called the woman the first constable. You put two and two together that this must be the police force of Sun Do. She seemed to express anger towards the failed job of clearing the street. Then, the conversation was spoken in words too quiet for you to overhear. You turned back in your seat, to make it seem like you weren’t listening in on that conversation.

“Princess Mileena doesn’t seem to like her very much.” Raiden observed, his gaze on the two women. You nodded. Fromwhat Liu Kang had taught you, you already had put together why they had some sort of conflict, aside from the obvious hold up.

“Li Mei used to lead the Umgadi, the palace guard.” Liu Kang informed the champion, catching him up to speed. His glowing gaze drifted over to look at him. “It was on her watch that the Princesses’ father was murdered.” As the information settled in, the tension in the carriage rose. Soon enough, Mileena rejoined the group, though a bit more peeved.

Thankfully, the rest of the ride was peaceful and without any further hold ups. The tension dissipated as you watched the city fade away, and the palace came into view. The carriages stopped at the entrance, and you soon found yourselves being ushered away by the Umgadi into the palace. The princesses had disappeared in the midst, and you assumed they were simply getting ready for the upcoming event.

As you found yourself standing in the Great Hall of the palace, you stood next to Liu Kang, your students in front of you. Raiden was the one who was directly in front of Liu Kang, and you could tell his nerves were getting to him. His arms were crossed as his head tilted down, his hat concealing the stress that was obvious on his face.

“Worry expends energy for no reason, Raiden.” Liu Kang reminded him. 

“But the tournament.” Raiden pointed out. Worry creased his brow, and you could sympathize with the burden he must feel being the only representative for Earthrealm within this tournament. His arms uncrossed as he stepped closer, looking at the fire god. “If I lose…”

“Just remember your training, Raiden.” You cut in, recognizing the signs of a spiraling mind. You gave him a smile, and Liu Kang did as well. “I told you already, you have the ability to win this tournament.” You reminded him of your words earlier. “As long as you focus on yourself, you will do fine. Worrying over a future that hasn’t happened yet will do you no good.”

Raiden looked at you, trying to soak in your words. His furrowed brow relaxed, and he tried to reciprocate the smile. It was a weak and weary one, but it was better than nothing. He seemed to be more confident now because of your words, even if it was just by a little bit.

The sounds of armor and the crowd whispers caught your attention. You looked over to see a horned man enter the hall. Your eyes met, and your eyes widened. It felt like the world was slowing down to a halt. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest, so loud you could practically hear the blood rushing in your ears. 

Shao Khan.

Your body froze, and it was like the amulet all over again. The world around you swirled and faded, and you found yourself now atop a rooftop. The sky was hazy with a mixture of clouds and smog from the destruction of the world around you. Distantly, other buildings were set on fire. THo0se that weren’t seemed to be destroyed. 

This was the end of all things. 

You were on your knees, cradling yet another body in your hands. The smell of it all was terrible. The first thing you smelled was burnt flesh. It was sickening and made your stomach turn and twist. Then, you smelt ash from the fires all around you. You didn’t dare look down, your hands trembling as they felt burnt and scarred skin. That must be the main source of the burnt flesh smell. 

To your left, you recognized hazily, Johnny Cage. He looked different, but you could recognize him all the same. To your right, you saw a woman whose name you only vaguely recalled as Sonya Blade. She was an ally? Surely she must be. Ahead of you, you could see Raiden in his thunder god form standing before the man whose name rang in your head.

Shao Khan.

Your head was pounding. All you knew was the massive destruction around you was because of the man. How it came to be, you couldn’t recall. All you knew was that it was because of him. Hate filled you, and you grit your teeth. Grief for things you didn’t quite remember clawed at your heart. You almost clenched your hands into fists, but then you remembered the body in your lap. Instinctively, you looked down. You wished you hadn’t the moment you did.

Liu Kang?

A wave of nausea filled you as you recognized the scarred and burnt body of the man in your lap. Thin scars trailed upwards his body, accompanied with gruesome burnt scars. One eye had even turned white from his injuries. Your stomach turned as you looked into his one good eye, and you realized with horror that it was already glazed over.

Death had already claimed the man.

“No.” You said, your voice quivering as you stared down at the man. Tears began to blur your vision, and your heart raced. How could this happen? This had to be a dream, an illusion. Anything but real. In your shock, you tried to shake him, hoping somehow he would wake up. All you felt was his warmth quickly fading away from you.

The voice in your head screamed. You’ve lost too many! But who had you lost? Looking down at the deceased in your lap, you wondered how many you’ve had lay dying in your arms. Did it matter how many had died? 

You didn’t know. All you knew is that you were filled with a burning hatred for whoever did…this.

“You monster!” You cried out, standing up after you had carefully set down Liu Kang’s body onto the ground. You couldn’t recall who had done this, but you could only assume that Shao Khan had to be responsible.

Raiden turned back, shock on his face at your scream filled with pure vitriol. As you charged towards Shao Khan, hate fueling your body. you saw the thunder god trying to stop you. You ignored him. You would not let the thunder god prevent you from avenging those you have lost in this ceaseless war.

You leapt, claws outstretched as your teeth bared as a lion. Shao Khan merely chuckled at your attempt to lash out at him. You grunted as the man easily sent you flying back with his sorcery. As you fell, you transformed back into your human form. You tumbled onto the rooftop, hazily seeing Johnny and Sonya also being flung back as well. They landed near you.

You were powerless as you watched Raiden confront the tyrant. Was this the end?

“Red alert.” Johnny muttered behind you, snapping you out of your vision. You blinked, trying to ground yourself in the real world. You didn’t get a conclusion to the vision you saw, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to. What a horrible vision you had received. And yet, curiosity was clawing at you, what had happened?  “Incoming stock villain.” 

Was that the last thing you saw before you died and came into this life? Or was there more to the story?

“General Shao.” Liu Kang said, and you looked over at him. You felt a wave of relief as you looked at the fire god, knowing he was alive and not dead like you had seen. Still, the image was seared into your head. How cruel it was that the fire god had glowing white eyes, reminding you of the one white eye he had during his death. “Do not let him goad you.” Earthrealm’s protector advised Raiden, looking over to him. Then, he turned his eyes to look at you. His gaze turned perplexed as they did so.

You swallowed, quickly sending the fire god a smile. You must have left the look of worry lingering on your face far too long. That seemed to temporarily satisfy him as he turned his attention to General Shao, but the lingering stare he left on you left you knowing he would ask later.

With heavy footsteps, the man who your brain was screaming to maul approached. His eyes glanced over to you, an eyebrow raised before they stared back at Raiden. You were certain from that expression you were failing to hide the sudden hate you felt towards him. A mocking smile appeared on his face as he assessed the man. A condescending laugh left his lips.

“Hah, this is Earthrealm’s champion?” General Shao commented with a sneer. “I nearly thought it was that one.” He remarked, pointing a finger in your direction. You blinked in surprise at the comment. “That stare had resolve and determination to best me the moment I stepped in. Disappointingly, it appears you’re the champion.” His lip curled with delight. “So scrawny.”

“Would you care to test his strength!?” Kung Lao challenged Shao for his friend. He stepped forward with indignation. You leaned over with wide eyes and sent him a glare. You had to admit, you were holding yourself back from leaping at the general yourself, but for different reasons. This was neither of your guys’ battle to fight, though. “Raiden will-” Thankfully, Liu Kang stepped in to intervene.

“Will prove himself well enough.” Liu Kang spoke, finishing Kung Lao’s sentence for him. His hand hovered in front of Kung Lao’s chest to prevent him from stepping any closer. He stepped in between the champion and the general, acting like a barrier between the two realms. His gaze was unwavering in the face of the man. 

“Have you still not told most Earthrealmers that Outworld exists?” General Shao inquired, his voice deep and gravely. His face held a look of judgement as he regarded the god. He was already looking down at him physically, and from the tone of his voice, it was more than just that.

“It is safer that way, General.” Liu Kang responded simply, not giving into his attempts to frustrate him.

“I suppose so.” General Shao said. He then took a step closer, trying to intimate Liu Kang, He leaned down, a belittling tone in his voice. “Your people’s frail minds couldn’t handle the truth.” You realized suddenly, that your hands were balled into fists. Crescent moon marks would be left permanently on the inside of your palm at this rate. You forced your hands to relax, and folded them behind your back. You held back a scoff at this poor attempt of intimidation.

“You presume them frail, General?” Liu Kang challenged. He raised his eyebrows at the Outworlder’s cocky attitude. “Should you…given how frequently they win this tournament?” The fire god pointed out, and you could tell he hit a nerve. The tension grew thicker, and it was as if you could cut it with a knife. 

“We will destroy your champion, Liu Kang.” General Shao promised, his resolve showing through his voice. You could sense the hatred he felt for the god, not even bothering to use the honorific for him. He shook his head, his orange eyes boring into the demigod. “He shall taste no victory.”

Then he stormed off.

Minutes passed by, and more people filled the room. It was crowded. You offered light conversation to a random Edenian woman to be polite as you waited. You learned how excited she was to finally be able to watch the tournament in person, a sentiment you both shared. She was new to serving the throne, so this would be her first time. Although cautious, she even asked about Earthrealm, something you were glad to tell about.

Soon enough, you heard footsteps walking down from the hall, and the conversations began to cease. You sent an apologetic smile to your conversation partner that your conversation was cut short. You turned your attention to the trio of women who now entered the room.

Leading them was the woman who you presumed was Empress Sindel, the princesses following close behind. Your mind buzzed at the sight of her, and you began to wonder once more how many important people you once knew in your past life. Surely, it was not a coincidence you recognized many who seemed to be important in this life. 

Who…were you? 

The trio took confident strides, holding an air of regalness around them. You stood next to Raiden and Johnny, watching them walk through the hall towards their thrones. They walked up to their thrones before seating themselves comfortably, almost seeming to bask in the high regard that everyone held them in.

“Welcome, members of the royal house.” Sindel began to address the crowd, her gaze sweeping across the room. Her voice held authority, yet it also had a sense of warmth within it. “Welcome, our esteemed Earthrealm guests.” She said, nodding her head in the direction of your group. “We gather once again to honor my late husband’s legacy. To continue the tournament that he founded with Lord Liu Kang in hopes it would foster peace among the realms.”

A pained and sorrowful expression appeared on Sindel’s face, and you had sympathy for her. Losing someone close to you…while you did not experience it in this life, the memories that began to terrorize you reminded you of how heavy that loss can feel. You couldn’t imagine how much worse it must feel since the one she lost was her husband.

“May Jerrod’s soul watch over us with pride from its resting place in the Living Forest.” Your brain recognized the place, though last you recalled it was much more sinister. You wondered how it was now. A moment of silence was given in respect for the late King.  “Lord Liu Kang.” Sindel addressed the god, who had walked over to the Empress. He stood at the bottom of the steps, looking up to her from her place on the throne.

“Empress Sindel.” Liu Kang replied, a smile on his face. “It pleases me once again to be your guest.” He bowed to the Empress, showing his respect for the ruler. Despite being a god, you admired how humble he was.

“Here, you are always welcome.” Sindel replied, her hands spreading out in a friendly gesture. The fire god lifted himself up to look at her once more. Crossing her leg, she leaned forward in interest. “Now, let us meet your champion.” 

“Earthrealm’s champion is Raiden, Your Majesty.” Liu Kang introduced. You looked over to said man who remained rooted to the spot. You placed a gentle hand on his back to push him forward, having a feeling he was too stunned by his nerves. He felt stiff when you pushed him. “He has earned his place by embodying the very best qualities of Earthrealm’s people.”

“You seem nervous, young man.” Sindel observed, her eyes searching the younger man. 

“I’m a stranger in an unfamiliar land.” Raiden said. “Here to compete against its greatest fighters. Yes, I am nervous.” He admitted with a nod of his head. You had to admit, even if it was foolish to admit weakness against these people, his honesty still made you smile. It was just part of his charm.

Never change, Raiden.

“As you should be.” The Empress acknowledged, though her tone was not condescending. If anything, it had a hint of encouragement behind it. “You have a difficult path ahead.” She stood up, and spread her hands out in a grand gesture. “It has begun!” 

Those words felt so familiar to you. Has…this been the first tournament you’ve been to?

“As tradition requires, Outworld’s initial competitor will be Sun Do’s first constable.” Sindel announced. You looked over, hearing the sound of heels clack down the hallway. You recognized the woman approaching. It was the same person that Mileena had been admonishing. “Li Mei.” A determined look was on the woman’s face, contrasting the uncertain one Raiden whenever the tournament was brought up.

You glanced over to Raiden, trying to assess his reaction. It was as you expected. He still had that look of doubt and nervousness on his face. Yet, at the same time, you could see that same determination shining in his eyes. 

“May she defend our realm’s glory as well as she preserves our capital’s order.” Sindel continued to speak, right until the first constable stopped right in front of the Empress’ throne at the bottom of the steps.

“Your Majesty.” Li Mei said, looking up to the ruler. She stood up straight and ready, and you could see the training she must have gone through as both an officer and an Umgadi in her stance alone. “I will honor both the royal house, and all of Outworld, with my kombat.” The officer announced, saluting the woman. A bold claim. Sindel descended the steps, placing a hand on the other woman’s shoulder. 

Their conversation was too hushed for you to listen in. Well, you could listen in if you wanted to, but you figured it would be rude to do so. You also knew it would be very, very obvious if you transformed your ears to do so as well. But from your position alone, you could see hints of resentment within the Empress’ expression, barely visible under the guise of her veiled pleasantries.

You felt…pity for Li Mei. 

“All you need do is your best.” Liu Kang told Raiden. He placed a hand on his shoulder as he regarded the champion. “The rest will take care of itself.” You placed a hand on Raiden’s bicep, looking at him warmly as you nodded.

“He’s right. You being here and having the courage to fight for Earthrealm makes me, and I’m certain Liu Kang as well, proud enough.” You encouraged him, squeezing his arm. Raiden sent you a smile as well. You could see how he was strengthening his resolve for his upcoming fight.

“Yes, thank you both.” Raiden replied, nodding. His gaze switched between both you and the fire god. But as you retreated with Liu Kang, you felt the champion’s gaze linger on you for just a few moments longer.

“Shall we see what you can do?” Li Mei challenged. She seemed more angry now, as if her determination had now been switched out with anger for the man. This made you wonder just what the Empress had said to her during their hushed moment. You clasped your hands together, staring at the duo as they conversed before their fight.

“Hopefully, this will be the first of many victories.” Raiden replied, his tone polite and respectful. You sighed. You knew it was part of his charm, but he seriously needed a lesson in verbally defending himself better. 

“I will prevail, Earthrealmer.” Li Mei declared. Her eyes narrowed at her opponent. “This fight is more important to me than you will ever know.”

The fight began. It was intense. While Raiden was trained well, courtesy of you, the monks, and Liu Kang, you weren’t certain how he would fare against the Outworlders. After all, you knew they had much longer life spans than Earthrealmers, which meant they had more experience than what he could ever have. 

Li Mei displayed great combat prowess. You could see how disciplined her technique was from the way she moved. She was relentless. She treated Raiden as if he were a threat, which he was. She did not dare underestimate her opponent. 

Raiden, however, kept his calm. You watched as he showcased his newfound electric abilities. It was honestly a bit mesmerizing to watch, and you were immensely impressed by how fast he had mastered the new powers. It was as if he had them since birth, and you would have assumed so had you not been there to witness when he first got his powers. You just wished it came from anything else than that cursed amulet.

Still, despite the vigor that Li Mei had shown, Raiden was still able to best her. 

“Thank you for the match, first constable.” Raiden thanked his opponent humbly. With grace, Li Mei stood up. You couldn’t ignore the despondent look on her face. She looked at the young man for a moment. Then, she bowed and then took her leave. You watched her walk off, and couldn’t help but to feel bad for her. The crowd began murmuring as she left.

“My compliments, Raiden, on a well fought match.” Sindel commended the Earthrealm champion. She then stood up, addressing the crowd. “We are adjourned until first light, I hope to see you all at this evening’s banquet.” She announced to everyone, then everyone dispersed.

“Congratulations Raiden.” You said, walking over to the champion. You watched as his eyes seemed to light up at your praise. You pat his shoulder, shaking it just a bit. “Keep it up, and I might just have to reward you when we get back to Earthrealm.” You said, half joking. And yet, the man looked at you with surprise, and there was just a bit of color on his cheeks.

“Really?” He inquired with a hint of surprise in his voice. He blinked as you nodded, thinking of what type of food to make the man. Perhaps a dessert this time? Victory did taste sweet after all. As the others came to congratulate their peer, you backed off to stand next to Liu Kang. You didn’t want to crowd the man.

“I could see your training techniques shining through.” Liu Kang said, looking over to you as he also let the others converse with Raiden. You looked at him, basking momentarily in the praise he was giving to you. Sure, nowadays the praise you received from the god was not rare, but it was delightful to receive all the same. “I could have not chosen anyone better to train him.”

“You’re too sweet.” You reply, feeling bashful at the praise. You looked downwards, before looking back at the small group. “I must admit, I’m surprised with how quickly he adapted to using that amulet.” You said, recalling briefly how he even used techniques the old Raiden had displayed. “You must have taught him well.”

“I merely guided him.” The fire god admitted, his gaze also on the champion. “In truth, it was he who had discovered those techniques himself.” He paused, his hands folding in front of him. “It was almost…natural for him.” There was a tone in his voice…nostalgia? You eyed him, not knowing what to make of the way he spoke.

Did he know more than he was letting on?

“I see.” You replied, uncertain of how to properly respond. Suddenly, you felt like you were hit with a wave of nausea. You stumbled forward, gripping your head. Liu Kang reached out, grabbing your arm to steady you. The throbbing in your head had intensified.

“Are you alright?” Liu Kang inquired, his voice dripping with concern. His eyes searched you, trying to see what was wrong. Wearily, you nodded your head. You swallowed, trying to will away the pain. You closed your eyes as you steadied yourself. He leaned in close, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Are you receiving visions again?”

“I’m fine.” You manage to get out, dancing around the question. “I…I just need some air. I’ll meet you at the banquet tonight.” You told him quickly, not certain what had suddenly befallen you. You hadn’t received any visions this time, just pain. You let out another hiss of pain. For a moment, you felt Liu Kang’s grip tighten, as if he wasn’t sure it was the right decision. Then, his hand let go of you.

“Take care of yourself.”

You nodded, quickly walking off in a direction, just wanting to get outside. You didn’t notice the eyes that fell on your retreating form. The hallways echoed with your footsteps, and you concentrated on the ground ahead, trying to retrace your steps to the front of the palace. You tried your best to ignore the Umgadi who seemed to stare at you curiously. They didn’t interfere though, seeing as you were just walking towards the outside. As you were met with the grand doors, you let out a sigh of relief as you quickly walked outside.

The fresh air was much needed. The intense pain in your head settled down. It was even more bearable than before, which was a much needed relief. Maybe being in there or witnessing all that had caused your head to be overwhelmed. You couldn’t tell, it was all too confusing. You walked forward and sighed, leaning on a railing that overlooked the city in the distance.

It was nice and peaceful out here.

“Ahem.” Jumping slightly, you looked over to the right and saw Li Mei standing out there. She looked awkwardly away, bowing her head as you looked at her. You had not even noticed her there. You looked at her, noting the puffy eyes and the tear stains on her face that you were able to barely see from her nearly hidden face.

Oh. You had interrupted a private moment.

You felt your face flush from embarrassment as you opened your mouth, not knowing how to respond. Unhelpfully, your mind finally granted you a brief memory of the woman before you. You remembered being friends, bonding over lost villages. You vaguely remembered a refugee camp. Well, none of that had been helpful to you in your current situation.

“I…um…sorry.” You managed to get out, turning your gaze away. Silence settled between you two, but it was far from the comfortable type that you were used to. Unable to bear the awkwardness, you spoke up again. “You fought well back there. I almost thought you would have won.” You admitted, fidgeting with your fingers.

“Thank you.” Li Mei said quietly, her voice hoarse. There was a tone to her voice which told you that your words did little to comfort her. She did lose still, after all. There was a moment where you heard her sniffles. Awkwardly, you searched your pockets, before you found a small packet of tissues. Good thing you carried those around with your medical pack. You held it out to her, who looked at it curiously before taking it. “Thank you…again.” She muttered, before using it. You nodded.

“No problem.” You said, the tension easing just a bit. “I’m not lying when I commend your fighting skills, you know.” You continued, your gaze dropping to look down at the waterfalls that decorated the palace. For a moment, you considered turning into a fish and swimming away to avoid this awkward conversation. You couldn’t just…leave her though.

“It wasn’t enough, though.” Li Mei responded, a hint of bitterness in her tone. She did seem to feel better despite this. 

“I think that’s okay.” You say, shrugging. You realized what your words sounded like, and scrambled to clarify what you meant. “I mean that you did your best! And I think that’s commendable! It’s very much okay to be upset though!” You said, and you felt guilty as you watched the police officer just awkwardly nod. “Sorry, I’m not exactly the best at comforting people. I didn’t mean to interrupt your private moment either.”

“It’s alright.” The first constable said, her voice softer now as she fiddles with the rest of the packet of tissues in her hands. “I had been a wreck.” She admitted. She kicked her boot into the ground. “I don’t even know why I told you that, in all honesty. You’re a stranger.”

“Sometimes it’s nice to get things off your chest.” You offered an explanation, shrugging. “I don’t mind listening.” 

“Are all Earthrealmers so trusting?” Li Mei inquired, changing the subject. You had a feeling she was not too trusting of you, which you figured was fair. Her stare lingered on you, a suspicious look on her face. You let out a small laugh.

“Not all, but there are certainly a lot of us who are.” You admitted. You looked over to the woman, nodding your head. “Sorry to intrude on your time, keep the tissues.” You apologized, bowing your head. You walked off, giving her one last final wave. You probably were making the situation worse by sticking around. “It was nice meeting you though, first constable.”

“It was nice meeting you too.”

You didn’t meet up with the others until later, taking the time to try and rest. Being away from people helped your headaches. You had found your room, which the Empress had so graciously allowed you and the others to have. Your room was quite quaint, and from your knowledge, it was fairly close to the hanging gardens, a place that had caught your eye.

Maybe you could take a walk around there later.

As you exited your room, you found yourself a bit lost, not knowing where to go exactly. Was the banquet to be at the hanging gardens? You vaguely recalled someone telling you that during the ride over, but your memory was failing you. You stood outside your door, deep in thought. You hardly noticed the footsteps heading your way. 

“Lost?” A voice inquired. You looked up and noticed princess Kitana walking towards you. You blinked, surprised upon seeing the royal. You stared at her, feeling a memory pop up. She had a similar role in the past life. A princess trained in combat. There were a few more memories attempting to break through, but your head couldn’t make sense of it quite yet. You quickly realized that you had been staring. You bowed to her out of respect, which seemed to please her. 

“If you’re lost, I can guide you to the royal banquet, if you wish.” The princess offered to you, a cordial smile upon her lips as she seemed to analyze you.

“That’d be appreciated, princess.” You said, accepting her offer. You followed her steps, matching her pace. She seemed a bit more friendly, than when you saw her earlier, even if it was just by a tiny bit. The hallways were filled with the echoes of your footsteps. You didn’t mind the silence, trying to dwell on the nagging feeling that you had. Why had you felt like you had seen her in your memories recently?

“Have you enjoyed your stay in Outworld so far?” Kitana inquired, peering over to you. You blinked, losing your train of thought. You hadn’t been expecting her to try and converse with you. You couldn’t tell if she was simply being polite or was actually interested in your thoughts. You just hoped it was the latter.

“I have, your realm is fascinating.” You admitted, reflecting on what you had seen so far. You were glad it was nothing like your memories. “It’s very pretty here. Where I come from, we don’t have sights like this.” You said, referring to both the life you currently lived and the one you remembered. “I’m fortunate to be able to witness this.”

“Indeed.” Kitana nodded. “Not many Earthrealmers get to witness the beauty of Outworld, much less in their prime.” You were momentarily puzzled by what she meant, then remembered that most perceived you as merely an Earthrealmer. You silently wondered if there were others like you out there, others who originated from other realms. You supposed not.

“It is a blessing.” You said, deciding to play along. Best not to raise any unwanted attention to your strange status. “Have you participated in many tournaments yourself?” You inquired, not knowing just how old the princess was. You assumed thousands of years, but just how many was something you weren’t quite sure of.

“Oh, I have participated in plenty.” The princess admitted nearly laughing at the idea. Which in all honesty, didn’t really give you any indicators to her age. She peered over to you, a thoughtful look on her face. “You are known as Lord Liu Kang’s companion, correct?” She inquired, tilting her head in your direction. You nodded, not sure where she was going with this. “What qualifies you to have such a high position?”

“Ah.” You said, realizing that many didn’t get the privilege of being called such a title. You weren’t sure if there even was someone who came before you who had the same title. You weren’t sure how to explain it, many didn’t question the title since it would be akin to questioning a god…but Outworlders were a bit more bold. “I’m not quite sure myself.” You lied. “I just help him with duties and training the champions.”

“I see.” Kitana said, though you could hear the curiosity in her tone. It was the type of curiosity which was not so easily quenched. “So you trained Raiden?” She inquired, her eyebrows raised. You nodded, and she seemed a bit surprised. “You two must be close.” She commented, which made you hum in thought. You nodded as you came to that conclusion as well.

“I guess we are.” 

“We’re here.” She announced, and you found yourself outside where the Hanging Gardens must be. It looked wonderful at night and decorated. Not to mention, the smell of the food in the air was simply divine. She looked at you again, an amused smile on her lips. “You’re interesting, I would not mind talking to you again. Enjoy the feast.”

“You too!” You called out, feeling honored. You stared after her, your mind pulsing as it tried to remember desperately what role she had in your past life. You walked around the area, marveling at how the plants glowed in the cooler colors of the rainbow. You found yourself peering at the tables and found there were particular seating assignments. It didn’t take long for you to find your seat, and luckily you were one of the first there. 

You were to be seated between Johnny and a person named Rain. You stared at the name, a faint recollection returning to you. The name was certainly familiar. The people to be across from you were Raiden and Liu Kang. You’d at least be among familiar faces. That, and you didn’t seem to be seated close to General Shao at all. 

That was a relief.

Soon, people began to emerge from the palace and fill the area. The pressure in your head started up again, and you silently grieved over how you would not be able to enjoy this meal without at least a little bit of pain. With how strong the pressure was, you assume you would not be able to glean any new memories either. Still, you did not complain and sat down as the food was served.

Plates of delicacies were set before you, and as you peered at the cooked meat, you wondered if these creatures were the same ones as on Earthrealm. If there weren’t, you wondered if you could transform into it. When wine was brought about, you declined it. You were against the idea of becoming drunk, fearing your deepest secrets would spill from your very own lips.

You were not giving yourself the chance to sabotage the good things you had. So instead, you got some simple fruit juice.

You mostly indulged in the food presented to you, enjoying the difference in tastes. Mentally, you wondered if you could recreate these back at home. Now that would be something you could surprise Madam Bo with. You did listen in to the others conversations, but the one who you surprisingly ended up talking to the most was the man beside you.

“The Imperial Academy sounds wonderful!” You remarked, marveling at the story that Rain had indulged you in. He was much more friendly than you were expecting. When he had introduced himself as the high mage, you were intrigued immediately. You asked him about how he earned the title, and he informed you of his accomplishments. He seemed proud of his achievements.

“It is indeed.” He said, smiling your way. He nodded as he took a sip of the wine. “And you say Earthrealm has no schools of magic?” He inquired, an eyebrow raised at the words you had told him before. You nodded, chewing a piece of food.

“It doesn’t.” You confirmed, slicing the food on your plate to prepare another bite. “Magic is pretty foreign to our realm. It’s either a rare secret that is passed down through families, you are born with it, or you receive power from another object.” You explained, recalling the different ways that you knew people had received their special abilities. “I’m amazed magic is taught here.”

“I pity the fact that your realm doesn’t have the same privilege as our realm does.” He used your hands, eyebrows raising. “You mentioned your people rarely have magic.” You nodded, confirming what he heard. “Are you also magicless? Or are you part of the fortunate few to be blessed with those abilities?”

“I was fortunate to have those abilities.” You confirmed. Setting down your silverware, you held out your hand and transformed it into a bear’s claw. Rain’s eyes widened with fascination, and you felt proud of your little display of sorcery. “I was blessed to be born with animal shape shifting. I can transform parts, or all of my body at will to any animal I wish.” 

“Fascinating. And you have not studied these abilities formally?” The high mage remarked, eyeing the transformed limb before you turned it back. “Your abilities remind me of another sorcerer in the royal court.” He said, piquing your interest. “He is busy with some duties, but I believe it would be of interest if you spoke with him.” He paused, looking at you once more. “Assuming you strive to learn about the limits of what you can do.”

“I am always looking to grow stronger.” You admit, and it seemed that something in your words struck a chord with the mage. His smile grew as he leaned towards you just a tiny bit more. “I wouldn’t mind conversing with this other sorcerer if he has similar abilities.” You say, nodding, taking note of the tip that he had given you. “What is his name?”

“His name is-” Rain began, but the conversation was cut short as he turned his attention to the front. You also turned to look, and noticed Empress Sindel had risen, holding her goblet in one hand. All of the conversations came to a halt as you watched the empress begin to give a speech.

“My husband Jerrod believed that the future of our realms lay together.” Sindel called out, a smile gracing her lips. Her attention traveled across the crowd. “Let us move forward in open dialogue, letting no secrets tear our bonds asunder.” You watched as everyone began to rise. Grabbing your own glass, you stood as well, raising it out.

“Your highness.” Raiden spoke suddenly, surprising you. “It’s an honor to be here and meet your people.” He looked around, his eyes landing on even the general who had shown him contempt earlier. “I can see there’s more here that joins us than divides us.” Despite the disapproving stare that you could see Shao was sending the champion, he only let out a small scoff.

Your distrust of the man grew, but at least he didn’t make an uproar.

“Well said, young man.” Sindel said, nodding in agreement to the little speech that Raiden had given out. Her smile grew as she lifted her goblet. “Now, let us enjoy the rest of the tournament together, in harmony, just as my husband would have wished.” With that, she lifted the cup to her lips and drank merrily.

With a cheer, everyone followed suit, taking a drink as their empress did. The rest of the feast ended quite well, with little to no issues as far as you were concerned. You had even conversed more with Rain, learning more about the magic culture that Outworld had been blessed with. He even offered to talk more another time, seeing your enthusiasm.

It wasn’t until you were in your room later that you realized that you had forgotten to ask what the sorcerer’s name was.

You couldn’t sleep.

That was to be expected. You always had trouble sleeping. Not to mention the fact that you were in an unfamiliar realm. Not to mention, when you tried to close your eyes, you could only see the lifeless body of Liu Kang. Your body was restless, and you paced back and forth in your room. You didn’t have a window here, the darkness only being abated by a simple crystal lamp. 

You bit your lip as you tried to process all you had seen. You knew you definitely had a history with many people in Outworld. That was undeniable. Your memories only occurred when you encountered people you had at least known and talked to. It would be hard to try and figure out what your connection to all of them were though, since you would either have to stay around here for a prolonged period of time, or have private moments with them.

Somehow, you were more likely to encounter the latter, seeing how your time here was limited.

You sighed as you recalled the chilling vision of the general. Obviously, he had been some sort of villain previously. But was that still true? Your previous memories with Bi-Han had also been unpleasant. Maybe Shao was just an asshole? You weren’t certain, you hadn’t seen enough of him. But then again, you weren’t sure if you wanted to see any more of him.

With a sigh, you soon found your hand hovering over the handle of your door. Would it be weird to go and see if you could explore the palace? You figured that it would be considered off, and maybe even suspicious. They’d surely accuse you of trying to try and steal something. Maybe you could just explore the gardens. It’s not as if you could steal anything there.

That, and you weren’t sure if you could stand being in this room anymore.

You exited the room, slinking quietly into the hall. You masked the sounds of your footfalls, remaining quiet as possible to try and not disturb the others around. Sure you were restless, but you did not want to wake the others from your own energy.

“Where are you going?” A voice inquired, seeing you come down the hall. You walked closer, squinting to make out the figure. Ah, it was Tanya. 

“I just walked to go on a walk.” You explained, hands up. “I’m rather restless, and the time difference between here and Earthrealm is great.” You gestured to the hall where you recollected the hanging gardens were. “I understand that it is late, but I merely wish to tour the hanging gardens, it looks beautiful at night.”

“Is that all?” Tanya inquired, assessing you with a hardened stare. You nodded, not minding how she glared at you. You knew she was only doing her job. She circled you, her gaze akin to a hawk. “Fine. I’ll escort you there.” She said, her tone cautious. You smiled gratefully at her for her generosity. 

The walk there was silent, and unlike Princess Kitana, she offered no dialogue. Still, despite your gaze forward, you knew she was watching you closely. You didn’t mind, just wanting to go to the gardens. A memory began to surface, and you remembered a much different woman. One who sought to reclaim the glory of Edenia, a land that was once lost. How different she seemed now. Your mind did not buzz as much after, so you assumed you did not know her that much in the previous life.

“I’ll be here to make sure you don’t try to sneak in.” Tanya informed you once you two arrived, being transparent with her intentions. Her gaze narrowed as she scanned you up and down. “Do not try anything, Earthrealmer.” She warned.

“I promise I will not.” You said sincerely. Her gaze did not waver, but she did nod approvingly before turning away, letting you roam the gardens.

It was as breathtaking as before. The night sky was tinged with a hint of purple, and the night sky was so clear, letting the stars shine down on you. You briefly wondered if those same stars were the ones that those in Earthrealm would see.

Were Tomas, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang looking at the stars too, wondering how you were?

The plants around the area flourished with life, and the smell was simply divine. You still couldn’t get over how they had a natural glow. You were tempted to reach out and touch the flora, captivated with their looks. You figured that was rather rude though, so you held back. You did allow yourself to lean in and smell the flowers.

In the midst of your fascination, you did not look ahead, and soon found yourself bumping into a figure.

“Sorry!” You instinctively apologized as you backed up. You shook your head to see princess Mileena. She looked at you with a mixture of frustration and confusion. You offered her a weak smile, and you were granted a memory. A ruthless woman with orange eyes and sharpened teeth meant to tear into flesh instead of lips. She was a clone, not a twin.

Was this really the same person?

Quickly remembering your manners, you bowed to Mileena, who watched you closely with narrowed eyes. Your mind still buzzed, and you knew you must have a deeper past with her. 

“What are you doing out here, Earthrealmer?” She quickly inquired, her eyes watching you with distrust. You held up your hands as you backed up, trying to display that you were not a threat. Irritation was evident, but you had a feeling that the origin of it was not related to you.

“I was just touring the gardens.” You quickly explained. “I couldn’t sleep. Tanya, one of your Umgadi, helped escort me out here.” You added on. You noted how she seemed to relax a bit upon the mention of the guard. She nodded, though you can sense she was on edge.

“I see.” The princess replied, her lips pursed. “Cause no trouble then.” Mileena instructed, then began to walk off. You sensed she was still mad about something, but what you could not fathom. You swallowed, and before you knew it, you opened your mouth.

“Wait!” You called out, turning to look at her. She halted, though did not turn around. “Would you like to hear a quick story?” You offered. Perplexed, she turned and looked at you. Her eyes scanned you, her eyebrows furrowed, clearly confused by your sudden offer. There was a moment of silence, and you wondered if it was presumptuous of you to have offered. You knew you were a people pleaser, but perhaps trying to offer something like a story to royalty was too far.

“What type of story?”

“I did not know Earthrealmers could have such fascinating adventures.” 

“Well, it’s mostly a tale.” You said, smiling at the princess. You had recounted a movie that Johnny Cage had shown you. You did not know why you did this, but it didn’t sit right with you to see Mileena so upset. She was much more relaxed, the irritation that had rolled off of her in waves dissipating as you had told her of the stories.

“Still, the imaginations of your people are…intriguing.” Mileena looked down at her folded hands, a conflicted look on her face before she sighed. “Tell me, why tell me such things?” She inquired, her eyes narrowing towards you. “You do not seem the sort to randomly spew stories, unlike one of your other companions.”

“I thought a story might help.” You replied honestly. “You seemed, and forgive me for being blunt, stressed, princess.” You swallowed as you looked towards the stars. The princess in front of you was much different than you memories had shown. That was good. “I often know distracting myself from my troubles sometimes helps.” 

“I see.” Mileena said, and you heard her shift as she looked away. “I suppose you have good instincts then.” She admitted, though you could tell she felt awkward that she had been read so easily. She paused as she seemed to ponder over something. “Are you often up this late?”

“Unfortunately, yes.” You tell her, crossing your arms as you recalled the many other sleepless nights you had. It was rare you ever went to sleep as expected. “Walks often help clear my mind, so that’s why I went out into the gardens.”

“If you are to be up this late, then I suppose we’ll see each other more often.” Mileena said, and you looked at her in surprise. “I would like to hear more of your tales, they amuse me.” You smiled at her nodding.

“I would be honored to be of service.” You tell her, bowing once more. Mileena looked at you in approval, seeming to enjoy the way you held her in high regard. It was a breath of fresh air compared to her conspirators. 

“Meet me here tomorrow, then.” She instructed. She began to walk off, before pausing once more. “Good night…” She spoke your name, testing it out. Your smile grew wide as you waved at her, feeling satisfied that you had helped her from whatever had irritated her.

“Goodnight, princess.” 

Taking another moment to yourself, you let out a sigh as you turned your face to look at the purple skies once more. Despite the oddities of Outworld, so far your stay here has been quite…nice. A soft breeze passed, and you smiled.

Maybe you did belong, just a bit, in Outworld.

part twelve

tagged: @zhivaxo @koisuko

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Five

The thing is I absolutely love the album that comes out of this mess. Like I know a lot of people do not like Let It Be, but so many of my favorite songs are on it. One of them being “I Me Mine.” The walz element is haunting, and I can read the lyrics as anti-capitalist even though George himself mostly wasn’t. 

Laughing my head off at two boys from one of the best grammar schools in England, who have at this point made millions off of their writing, genuinely not knowing whether it should be “more freer” or “more freely”

The difference in how George shows Paul his new song vs John is striking. For Paul, he’s relaxed, nonchalant. For John, he stands up and performs it. And I think both are a defense mechanism, poor baby, because clearly, although Paul was very supportive of the song while they were alone, when John is roasting it, Paul just laughs along and George has to go “I don’t give a fuck whether you like it.” 

Ah, the famous “up-against-a-wall” conversation. Paul comes in all dominant and sure. “Haven’t you written anything else? Haven’t you?” But then John touches him, and makes him laugh, and Paul’s a melted, goo-goo-eyes mess. This is the real reason why John got to be the leader isn’t it? Because Paul was too damn soft on him to ever follow through with his bossiness.

Their scouse sounds BEAUTIFUL compared to the stupid ugly RP and MLH’s transatlantic shit.

“And now John’d like to say a few words on the subject.” John starts singing, Paul strums along and joins in on the “chorus.” They can’t communicate like healthy people, but they Can do this. 

So Peter Jackson took out Paul’s bitchy nod at Yoko as he’s stealing her man in real time right in front of her eyes. Unforgivable. But he kept in this adorable laugh, so that’s something. 

Three more covers that I think *mean something* “Stand By Me” and “Spinning Like a Top” by Paul, followed by “You Win Again” by John. Yoko’s sweet little shoulder kiss. Thank you for taking care of the poor wet kitten, girly. Maybe don’t introduce the poor wet kitten to heroine, but you do you, I guess. (OP recognizes that poor wet kitten is also an adult capable of making his own decisions)

The cut from Paul literally dancing to get John’s attention straight to John dancing with Yoko while inside Paul’s head a silver hammer is clanging ominously. I can’t. Followed by the knowing, loving smile from Ringo to Paul. You know, those moments when you validate your friend’s bitchy thoughts with a look. 

George is literally SO big inside himself, you know? You have to have superhuman self-love abilities to watch your friend – who is supposed to be helping you – shamelessly make fun of your art . . . and just “Do you wanna do that walz on the show? That’d be great.”

But did you guys know John was actually a really great mover?

“Yes, alright. Just sod off.” I love John. Paul’s people-pleasing ass would literally die first and he needs John to do this kind of shit for him and John’s only too happy to.

The moment when Paul and John are on the same wavelength about Dennis O’Dell’s stage. 

OK but. Did John get the clear plastic idea from Yoko’s art exhibits? 

“Any time we do anything it’s always got to be the best.” Poor Ringo. They’re all literally so tired of carrying so much weight for such a long time. 

“See, I’d watch an hour of him just playing the piano. Cause he’s so great.” With that fond, loving, smile. SUCH big dick energy here. The others could NEVER. 

“And I’ll have the plastic when you’re finished.” Literally for what, though? John, you little hoarding goblin. 

And then Ringo responding to MLH’s “I love you” with “Yes, I love you too.” Yeah, Ringo wins the prize for most healthy beatle of the day. 

*Pattie Boyd voice* “I just wish I knew what was going on there. But something. Something.”

Ugh, John looks so hurt. So tender. So heartbroken. While Paul is over there playing a damn funeral march because that’s the only way he lets himself express anything. But I actually love how Dennis O’Dell knows the clearest path to cheering John up is to say that Paul liked his idea. And how well it works. They’re literally so obvious to everyone but themselves. 

I love the bit when John walks in on the rest of them discussing the live show and MLH calls, “We’ve decided. We’re going to Africa.” And Paul hurries to cut in, “No we’re NOT.” Because he knows exactly how John can get and he’s going to nip this in the bud before John gets let down. And of course, John is all “YEAH LETS GO LETS GO!” And he’s talking about how they always wish they were recording abroad. “We could be in LA, or FRANCE.” (side eye emoji) 

Paul’s “Well said, John.” and “I’ve seen it, John. I went to the premiere. I thought you were great.” Why do all your compliments to him have to be in silly voices? Like, I know you think everyone is going to call you a pussy for saying something genuinely kind to your best friend, but they’re not, and he needs it. 

Holy shit this was a long day. See you all tomorrow with another long-winded-ass post.

[teddywesworl]

ok y'all said you want director's commentary so I'm gonna start by saying a couple things about 🪑 since it recently celebrated 2k kudos

🪑DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY LET'S GO

1.

A fun fact about the poems at the beginning of each chapter is that I took two of the poet's classes in college, and she might be solely responsible for convincing me I was a good writer and should pursue the skill. I don't know how she'd feel about me using her poetry to thematically frame an explicit fanfic, but that's neither here nor there.

As a poet, she (I'm not naming her here in case she might possibly name search on tumblr, lol) is obsessed with transformation and with the discord between the material and spiritual self. Blackberries, Brambles in its entirety goes as follows:

Akhmatova wrote, "O look!—that fresh dark elderberry branch is like a letter from Marina…" And she was right, branches criss- cross, words sharpen. We lop them down, fit them into envelopes. But I forget: you don't do letters: Too much tangled in thickets and desperation. Did I say envelopes? I meant elevators. See, I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries, tongueburst, the sweet stain, explosion under light canine pressure. Don't you just wish you were a dog sometimes? No panic. Romping through brambles. Even in delirium, near death, Akhmatova remembered. Her bitter friend had been dead a long time. Love. Don't think I'm thinking about you. Anything but you.

Akhmatova here being Russian poet Anna Akhmatova, and the Marina in question is Marina Tsvetaeva. You can go on as much or as little of a research spiral about them as you like; many of the layers of this poem are in the reference to Akhmatova and Tsvetaeva, but I was mostly interested in the commentary on the cost of pleasure. I've snagged favourite sweaters in high rises, snarled hair in hedges, given up skin scrapings for blackberries. What are you willing to pay for happiness? Wouldn't it be nice not to think about it? Wouldn't it be nice not to be afraid to pay?

2.

Obviously the other major literary framing device is A Room With A View. The movie, specifically, but obviously the Forster novel as well. A Room With A View is about the clash between tradition and modernity, familial duty vs. adventure and romance, etc. etc. etc. And like, listen, the Duffers have not put this much thought into Steve Harrington, but his arc, despite them, is that of the ultimate privileged 80s all-American masculine symbol taking a slow, deliberate turn toward Otherness. He was supposed to die a static character. He did not, and now we're all writing fic about it.

I probably didn't need to have Eddie literally whack the point home with a hammer with the you're Lucy line in chapter 2, but here we are.

3.

The other bits of ~Art~ in the Steve chapter are Elton John's The Fox and Bruce Springsteen's The River. As follows:

But if you’re wily, you will leave them lying, snared up in the traps that they set for you, Elton sings. And it’s an evergreen affair— Steve lifts the record out and replaces it with The River. Springsteen sings, you're walkin' tough, baby, but you're walkin' blind and that’s not really better.

The Elton John record, you may recall, was a compromise between Eddie and Nancy. The inclusion of these lines in particular was very vibes-based, but hopefully the vibes are semi-coherent. Snares. Traps. The hunter, the fox. Btw the next lines after these are:

As temptation taunts the fox Into the hunter's waiting lair

Which, okay. Teasing out the vibes just a little. Argyle interprets Nancy as Lucy (and implies, without meaning to, that Steve is Cecil--a character that represents old money and tradition and duty and, like. Being trapped). Nancy would probably also view herself as the titular Fox. And Steve has bought into this line of thinking! He sees himself as the snare! He has internalized the idea of life with him being a trap! He is Bullshit, etc.

Eddie complicates this self-concept. Through him, Steve becomes the Fox and Lucy. Temptation taunts the fox into the hunter's waiting lair, after all. And, you know: 🪑🪢

(The Springsteen lines are just. All Steve.)

Ok I have to go feed some horses. More.... later. eventually.

[yunwangja]

hi! try this :) https://pin.it/1D5buGSPu

i’m so sorry this took SO long ! but this was so cool !! i hope you like this, anon <33 this is a oneshot btw

best friend’s brother | lev haiba x fem reader oneshot

you are a first year student of inarizaki high, the younger sister of the miya twins, who didn't mean to fall for your best friend's little brother, lev haiba, one of nekoma's players.

tags: lev haiba x student photographer!reader, falling for your best friend's (little) brother. lol.

notes: set in pre-timeskip. i tweaked some roles a bit to fit the story i made. idk if this is ooc or not rlly be the judge bahaha

“you’re distracted,"

suna’s voice cut through your thoughts, his sharp eyes looking at you from behind his phone screen as he saw you staring at your camera. it wasn’t accusatory - more of an observation. you hadn’t even realized you were staring off.

“i’m not distracted,” you muttered, looking away, trying to sound casual. but suna wasn’t buying it. he puts down his phone and easily pulls your camera to have a view of what you were looking at.

or who. well, he kind of figured it out.

“is it because of lev?” suna’s voice was blunt, as usual. you felt your heart skip a beat.

“what? why would it - what?” you sputtered, feeling your face flush. suna simply smirked, like he had known all along. the worst part? tadashi was right there, too, and now both of them were staring at you, waiting for an explanation.

“so, you like lev,” suna said it so matter-of-factly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

you groaned. “okay, yes. i like lev. can you stop looking at me like that?”

yamaguchi, who had been silent this whole time, chuckled softly. “well, that explains why you’ve been acting weird lately.”

“how do you even know - ugh, never mind.” you gave up arguing, sinking into the couch in defeat. it was out now. no point in denying it.

you sigh. how did you get yourself into this?

it all started at the nekoma vs. inarizaki volleyball match. you weren’t there as a spectator, but as the official photographer for inarizaki’s team - documenting every spike, every block, every dive for the perfect shot.

you first met alisa, who eventually became your best friend. she approached you after seeing you taking photos at the game and asked if you had any photos of his brother. lev was just her giant, awkward, but lovable younger brother, someone who could easily slip into the background of your mind - until he didn’t.

it was alisa’s birthday party that changed things. everyone was having a good time, and as the night wound down, alisa had asked lev to take you home. what you didn’t expect was the conversation on that ride. lev, with his typical awkward but sincere tone, had casually mentioned how he’d seen some of your photography - especially shots from the match.

"your photos are... cool. i really liked the one you took of me blocking. it made me look awesome." his grin was infectious, and you remember laughing. something about his genuine excitement over a simple photo tugged at something inside you.

from then on, you couldn’t help but notice him more. every time you hung out with alisa, lev would always be there, tagging along. it was a slow shift, but you started catching yourself watching him at matches, following his movements with your camera more than anyone else. suddenly, lev wasn’t just alisa’s goofy younger brother anymore. he was lev - someone you found yourself thinking about more than you wanted to admit.

but how were you supposed to confess to him? and what if alisa found out? she might think it’s weird, and the last thing you wanted was to mess up your friendship with her.

“so, what’s your plan?” suna asked, his tone teasing, though his eyes glinted with curiosity.

“my plan is to not mess up my friendship with alisa first, and then maybe figure out the lev part,” you admitted. you hated how exposed you felt under their scrutinizing gazes.

“you should probably tell alisa before she figures it out herself,” yamaguchi suggested gently. “it’s better coming from you than her finding out later.”

suna nodded in agreement. “yeah, might want to get that out of the way first. unless you like unnecessary drama.”

before you could respond, the door slid open, and kenma walked in, headphones around his neck. “what are you guys talking about?”

“y/n likes lev,” suna said casually, like he hadn’t just dropped the most personal bomb in front of kenma.

“suna!” you nearly leapt out of your seat.

kenma raised an eyebrow, giving you a once-over. “alisa’s brother? huh, interesting.”

“it’s not supposed to be public information!” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“well, i couldn't really care any less,” kenma said, shrugging. “but it would be funny to see you rejected if you will be.”

your head snapped up at that, eyes wide in disbelief. “kenma!”

you looked up, startled by his bluntness. “you could at least pretend to be supportive, you know.”

kenma gave you a flat look, not a hint of sympathy. “supportive? i’m just being realistic. i don’t see the point of dragging this out. if you want to confess, go ahead, but don’t expect everyone to sugarcoat it for you.”

“so what, you think I’m going to get rejected?” you shot back, feeling a mix of frustration and nerves bubbling up.

he tilted his head slightly, clearly unfazed by your reaction. “i’m not saying that. but you’re acting like it’s the end of the world if he doesn’t like you back. it’s not.”

“kenma,” yamaguchi chimed in, sensing the tension. “you don’t have to be so harsh. y/n’s just trying to figure things out.”

“i’m not being harsh. i’m being honest,” kenma replied with a slight roll of his eyes. “she’s the one making this way more complicated than it is.”

“see, this is what i get for telling you guys anything,” you muttered, leaning back in your seat, feeling the pressure building from their differing opinions.

“it’s just how kenma is,” suna said with a grin, clearly enjoying the banter. “he’s got a point, though. you’re making this bigger than it needs to be.”

“but you guys make it sound so simple,” you argued, glancing between them. “it’s not that easy.”

“that’s because it kinda is,” suna said, reclining back again. “you’re the one making it difficult.”

later that night, you called tendou to vent about how your so-called “secret” was now public knowledge. tendou, always the mischievous one, wasn’t surprised when you told him what happened.

“suna found out? classic,” tendou laughed through the phone. “but hey, at least now it’s out there. no use hiding it anymore.”

you sighed. “yeah, but now i’m stuck figuring out what to do next. everyone says i should tell alisa first.”

“they’re right. alisa’s your best friend. she’ll understand. and as for lev, well... you guys are getting closer, right? i think at the least he'll understand,” tendou said, his tone light-hearted, but there was a sincerity underneath.

“thanks, tendou,” you muttered, feeling a bit more reassured.

“anytime. and hey, just go for it. you’re y/n miya. you’ve got this!”

the next day, you found yourself wandering into your brothers’ room. you didn’t really want to tell them about your crush on lev - not directly, anyway - but maybe they could give some advice on what to do, since they would know how it feels to have a younger sibling.

“oi, what’s with that look?” osamu asked, noticing your hesitation as you stood awkwardly by the door.

“nothing,” you muttered, walking in and flopping down on their couch. “just... need some advice. for a friend. they wanted help because you guys are big brothers.”

“oh? advice from the great miya twins?” atsumu piped in, his voice laced with his usual teasing.

“yeah, like.. what would you do... if... you say, one of your team members likes me?” you look at them, hoping they wouldn't laugh at you.

they both stare at you and their eyes slowly turn judging. osamu scoffs, "wow. didn't know you could be so shameless.”

you rolled your eyes, "it's not like that!" you whined. "just... i was just wondering, as big brothers... how would you feel if two people who were close to you unexpectedly liked the other, or something."

you fidget your fingers and look down to the ground. you slowly look up back to them and see as they exchanged glances before osamu raised an eyebrow. “you like someone, don’t you?”

you blinked, startled by how fast they figured it out. “w-what? no."

“yer actin’ all weird,” atsumu said with a smug grin. “and yer terrible at hiding things.”

you groaned. “i’m not hiding anything.”

“sure you aren’t,” osamu smirked, sitting down beside you. “so, can i guess who it is?”

“it’s no one,” you quickly deflected, not wanting to make it worse by bringing lev into the conversation. “i just need advice for a friend... okay?”

osamu chuckled. "okay, whatever, i won't say i think it's the little brother of one of your best friends, but," you look at him annoyingly, but afraid to confirm it anyway. he takes a deep breath,

“well, whoever it is, just don’t overthink it. if ya like ‘em, make sure you tell them. whatever happens will happen anyway.”

“and don't worry about their sibling,” atsumu added. “i'm sure they'll be happy to see two people close to them possibly get together. whoever they are."

you rolled your eyes to hide your embarrassment, but you couldn’t help feeling a little grateful for their advice. "yeah, okay. i'll tell them... i guess."

when you leave, the two exchange another glance and shake their heads with a smile. their little sister was growing up, though nothing has changed.

with a newfound determination, and a long self-pep talk, you made your way to alisa’s house, nerves bubbling up inside you. you knocked on the door, and when alisa opened it, she greeted you with her usual warm smile.

“y/n! hey! come on in,” she said, stepping aside to let you inside.

you stepped into her cozy home, the scent of freshly brewed tea wafting through the air. the living room was just as inviting as ever, and you felt a mix of comfort and anxiety clashing inside you. as you sat down, your heart pounded in your chest. you needed to say it -there was no backing out now.

alisa flopped onto the couch beside you, tucking one leg under the other. “so, what brings you here?” she asked, glancing over with her usual easy-going tone. “you’ve got that serious look on your face.”

you opened your mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out right away. “i… uh…” you stumbled, wringing your hands together. you had to rip the bandaid off, no more dodging it. “there’s something i need to tell you.”

alisa’s expression shifted slightly, curiosity flickering in her eyes. “sure, what’s up?”

you took a deep breath, the air catching in your throat. “it’s about lev.”

you could see her brows raising just a little. but she didn’t say anything, waiting patiently for you to continue. the silence between you two felt heavy, and the words you’d rehearsed so many times suddenly felt too big to say.

“i… i like him,” you finally blurted out, your heart racing like it would burst from your chest.

alisa blinked, her gaze softening as she processed your confession. her silence stretched for a beat longer, and for a second, you feared the worst. but then, she smiled - a warm, reassuring smile that immediately eased some of the tension in your body.

“that’s cute,” she said, her tone casual, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

your breath caught in surprise. “you… you’re okay with it?”

alisa tilted her head, her expression turning playful. “why wouldn’t i be? y/n, it’s not like you’re confessing a crime or something,” she teased, laughing softly. “i’m happy for you. really.”

your chest loosened with a rush of relief, though doubt still lingered. “so… you’re not mad?” you asked, still feeling the need for reassurance.

alisa rolled her eyes, but in the affectionate way she always did. “why would i be mad? honestly, it’s really sweet. i don’t mind at all,” she said, her voice calm and reassuring.

you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, feeling the tension melt from your body. “thank you, alisa. i was kind of freaking out about telling you.”

alisa waved a hand dismissively, brushing off your concern with ease. “you don’t need to worry about stuff like this, y/n. really. lev’s just lev - you know how he is,” she added with a soft laugh.

you smiled, feeling a sense of ease wash over you. it was comforting to have alisa’s support, without any pressure or expectations.

just as you were about to reply, the front door clicked open, and you froze. footsteps echoed down the hall, followed by lev’s familiar voice calling out, “alisa, i’m home!”

alisa grinned and shot you a quick look, raising an eyebrow like she knew something you didn’t. your pulse quickened as lev’s tall frame appeared in the doorway. his eyes landed on you, and instantly, a wide grin spread across his face.

“y/n! didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, his voice bright with surprise.

alisa gave you a sly look as she got up from the couch. “well, i’ll leave you two to it. i’ve got some work to finish upstairs,” she said, winking as she headed toward the staircase. “don’t let him get too full of himself, y/n!” she called over her shoulder, leaving you alone with lev.

lev plopped down next to you, still smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world. your heart raced all over again as you turned to him, the weight of your confession looming between you like a giant unspoken truth.

lev leaned back casually, his bright eyes settling on you. “so, what’s up?” he asked, his voice light and unaware of the emotional storm brewing beneath your calm exterior.

you fidgeted slightly, glancing at your hands before looking back up at him. the room suddenly felt warmer, the space between you growing more noticeable. “oh, not much… just wanted to catch up,” you said, trying to ease into the conversation.

lev grinned. “catch up, huh? you’ve been busy, haven’t you? i haven’t seen you at the last few matches,” he teased lightly, nudging you with his elbow. “i thought you were avoiding me or something.”

you chuckled, shaking your head. “no, nothing like that. i’ve just been… thinking a lot.”

his playful expression softened a bit, picking up on your shift in tone. “thinking about what?” he asked, curiosity laced in his voice.

your heart pounded in your chest as you felt the moment drawing closer. you glanced away for a second, gathering your thoughts. “just… things. you know, stuff that’s been on my mind for a while.”

lev sat up a bit straighter, sensing something more serious in your words. “oh, sounds heavy. what kind of stuff?” his voice was still gentle, but his attention was fully on you now.

your stomach twisted with nerves, but you knew you had to say it. you couldn’t keep dancing around it forever. the words felt big, but there was no running away from them now. you took a deep breath, your fingers curling into your lap as you finally looked at him again.

“lev… i’ve been thinking about... you.”

his brow furrowed slightly, confusion flickering in his eyes. “me?”

your pulse raced as you nodded, your voice quieter now. “yeah. i… i like you, lev. i’ve liked you for a while.”

the words hung in the air between you, heavy and vulnerable. lev froze, blinking at you in surprise as if trying to process what you’d just said.

“wait, what?” he asked, his usual confidence faltering for a moment as he stared at you, wide-eyed.

“i like you,” you repeated, your voice steady but your heart pounding. “i’ve liked you for a while now.”

lev stared at you, wide-eyed, before a slow, sheepish smile spread across his face. “that’s... that’s crazy because... i like you too.”

your heart stuttered. “wait, you do?”

he nodded, cheeks turning a little pink. “yeah, i mean... remember when i told you how much i liked your photos? that was kind of my way of trying to get close to you.” he let out a soft laugh. “i admired what you did, sure, but... it wasn’t just that. i liked spending time with you. i liked you.”

you blinked, the realization hitting you all at once. “so all that time, you...”

“yeah,” lev admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “i just didn’t know how to say it. i figured if i talked about your photography, it’d be easier than admitting i liked you.”

you felt a warmth spread through your chest, the tension dissolving as a smile tugged at your lips. “wow, i had no idea.”

lev laughed again, his grin turning a bit wider. “yeah, i didn’t really make it obvious, did i?”

you nudged him playfully, your heart lighter now. “not at all, you dork.”

he laughed with you, his expression softening as his eyes met yours. “but seriously, i’ve liked you for a while, y/n. i just... didn’t know how to say it until now.”

your heart fluttered as you took in his words, feeling a warmth that spread from your chest to your cheeks. you couldn't help the smile that formed, a mix of disbelief and relief washing over you. “well... you’re saying it now,” you replied, your voice softer than before.

lev looked at you, his eyes bright, and for a moment, the world outside seemed to blur. it was just the two of you, sitting there, both feeling the same weight lift off your shoulders.

he reached out, hesitating for only a second before gently taking your hand in his. “so... does this mean we’re, you know, together?” he asked, his usual confidence replaced with something more vulnerable, more genuine.

you laughed softly, squeezing his hand. “i think so, yeah.”

a wide grin spread across his face, lighting up his features. “that’s... that’s amazing,” he said, his voice brimming with excitement. “i won’t mess this up, i promise.”

you smiled, shaking your head at his earnestness. “you won’t,” you reassured him. “we’ll figure it out together.”

he looked at you with such affection that you felt your heart skip again, and before you could say anything else, lev leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “i’m really glad you told me,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere.

you felt warmth rush to your face as you looked up at him, your fingers still laced with his. “me too,” you whispered back, feeling lighter, more at ease. everything felt right.

as you both sat there, hands intertwined, you couldn’t help but feel that this was the start of something good - something that felt real and yours.

[onigiriforears]

After approx. 2-3 months of studying Japanese I started to read free graded readers online and then graduated to a collection of short stories that I purchased off of Amazon. I thought that the reason I was starting to have trouble understanding sentences was because I didn't know enough vocabulary but it was because I neglected grammar completely. It was sorta drilled into my head off of Youtube creators to just study kanji, vocab and simple sentences as much as possible before even touching grammar. I feel absolutely lost, dude. I am at the 5 month mark now. I can "breeze through" kanji for the most part. (as in, I can actually retain it in a decent amount of time) I decided to study grammar about a week ago. It is SO FREAKING HARD. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. I don't know if it's supposed to feel like what I thought I knew is being ripped apart at the seams, stapled together, and then torn apart again....but it does.

Do you have any tips for learning grammar? Is this feeling normal? Can you tell me when the pressure in my skull will subside? I am using Bunpro's free trial but I'm unsure if this tool will actually help me. I write tons of notes to flip through but I still fail to give them the nuanced answer they're looking for. I really enjoy the setup of Bunpro and I want to like it since it's similar to WK but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast or there's a better way to learn. I stopped learning 5 new grammar points a day and started doing only 2. (I also have Genki I and watch GameGengo. He explains things in a way that's easy for my brain to understand.) Sorry for the long post but any insight would be appreciated. I'm a bit nervous asking people in the language learning community for help or insight because a lot of them treat it as a way to show how fast they learned/1-up others. Tumblr's langlearn community is a lot different with what I've seen (or maybe I'm just following the right ppl lol)

Hi! Thank you so much for waiting for this response--I'm sorry it took so long. Your message was one of the ones that popped up when they locked my ask box (they actually still haven't answered me on why it was locked so 🤷‍♀️). To make up for that, I'm gonna be longwinded because I think that this is a super valid and important question that others may also want to know the answer to!!

Pls pls PLEASE DM me if none of this is helpful or if you'd like to talk more about what you think you need help with!!

I think that sometimes when we're learning a new language that we know is so overwhelmingly different from our own language, we focus on the things that we think will be the main hinderance and sometimes we forget the key points. You might be thinking "how did I forget grammar?" but I would say don't beat yourself up about it! Many of us focus on the things that we think are our problems(--the last time I studied for the JLPT, I focused on my weak point too much and then was frustrated with myself during the exam bc I neglected the other areas.)

I don't want to lie to you and say that learning grammar will is going to get easier because that's not the case for everyone. Think of learning grammar vs everything else as learning different types of math or science--have you ever had a friend that was absolutely phenomenal at algebra or calculus but couldn't do geometry? Or a friend that was wonderful lab partner in chemistry but struggled in biology? They're struggling in biology because it requires a ton of rote memorization in comparison to practical application and math that's present in chemistry and rote memorization may not necessarily be their strong point. Personally, I think that's also why a lot of us struggle with certain grammar points. There are some that just click with us immediately and then there are others that we have to see over and over and over and over and over--you get the point--just for us to find a single sentence with it that we understand. If you're math oriented, we need to figure out a way to no longer make grammar points rote memorization for you, but to turn it into a formula of some sort. I actually write my notes out in ways that are like that--I use plus signs (+) in my notes not because the textbooks use them but because my brain genuinely reads it as "noun + particle + grammar point = a sentence that makes sense" because, for me, formulas don't fail. Your weak point doesn't have to be your weakness--you can turn the weakness into a strength that works just for you.

I've been going at this for years and every single professor or Japanese friend (or even people from the discord server) I have can tell you that I've struggled with pretty much any grammar point that included ~ように--and it wasn't because I wasn't trying, but because I couldn't find myself using any sentences that with those grammar points because I found the alternatives/similar ones to make more sense. Surprisingly, it wasn't until I was reading 夜カフェ for our book club that I was actually able to start grasping the meaning (ngl, I still haven't used it myself--I'm notorious for using alternatives); I was finally witnessing it being used in a way that made sense in my brain.

The frustration you're feeling when you encounter a new grammar point or overload yourself with too many things in one go is completely normal and I promise that a ton of us in the Japanese langblr community have definitely experienced it too! It probably feels like everything you know is being ripped apart because your native language may have a SVO (subject-verb-object) format while Japanese has a SOV (subject-object-verb) format--your 1-to-1 translations for your notes may not be helpful in the beginning because you're still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your words still need to go in another order than you're used to. And then you add the new grammar points and concepts on top of that (like particles and other things) and it can become overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes, you're going to find some grammar points just downright annoying--especially when you find that there's no equivalency to it in your own language. But don't give up!

I know this is a super cliché thing to say, but practicing them will help. If you can, I would make note of the grammar points that you're struggling with, try to make sentences with them, and ask somebody to check them and explain exactly why (or why not) they're working and then ask them for examples because they may have an even better way of explaining it to you than what you've come up with for yourself!

I can look back at old notes and see when I wrote a sentence as an example just because a textbook/professor used it but I didn't actually understand why it worked at the time and then I can also find notes where the sentences written as examples were added once I finally found something that clicked for me.

You've already done yourself a favor by learning a lot of vocab, kana, and kanji because now you'll be able to try out an array of ways to pick up grammar instead of just a textbook. (I will make a note that if you're looking to take the JLPT, I would recommend having a list of grammar points that you would need to know for the level that you're planning on sitting for because there's no guarantee of what will or won't pop up on the test.)

Another important thing while you're practicing: be comfortable with making mistakes. We all make them, but when you're learning a new language it's important to be ready to make mistakes and to welcome them with open arms because it gives you a chance to experience and learn in real time.

ALSO: for you specifically--because you're interested in reading, you might enjoy learning grammar through tracking the different grammar points through what you're reading and using the sentences as your examples because they're all going to be cohesive. And if reading books or other things totally turn you off right now, maybe games? Animal Crossing and Pokemon are very nice games to play in Japanese for people that are just starting out! You may also enjoy using Lingo Legend--it's an JRPG language learning app that I beta tested and I think that it's a nice way to review (it has some fun incentives). I'm not a big gamer, so I struggle with learning through games, but I've been picking up a lot of grammar through reading because I focus on finding things that I'm interested in, rather than things that are "at my level." When I start a manga, I will scour a ton of websites and forums and bug a ton of people when I come across a grammar point that I can't wrap my brain around because I want to be able to understand what's going on.

We have book clubs and gamers in my discord server, as well as places for people to post what they're practicing or to ask for help. We have people of all varying levels and different skillsets that love to share their wisdom with others.

I haven't used Bunpro, but I know that @sammilearns has, so she may be able to weigh in on that! And @tokidokitokyo @nihongoseito @chouhatsumimi @kanpeki-bekki @burgeoning-ambition probably also have even more tips that me--I'm trying to tag people that I know we all learn in different ways, so their tips and tricks might be just what you need!

Please weigh in, fellow langblr members! How have you been learning grammar? Are you game-ifying it? Have you turned it into math equations? Have you managed to tie it in with your special interest? I can't wait to see what people add to this post!

[yantalia545]

Can we get a part two for your motherly s/o? Except this time with the nations that have/had kid colonies. And the dynamic they have is a teamwork between a romantic yandere (Britain, France, Spain) and a platonic yandere(America, Canada, Romano).

They met when the chibi got lost and she helped them get back to their caretakers. But the chibi got attached to her so she decided to visit them when she has time. But as years go by both father and son are getting uncomfortably clingy towards her, her motherly nature filled in the absence left by the father and her concerned and nurturing nature for the adults made some days easier for them that they can't help but fall in love with her. It reached to the point where they really believed that she is their mother/wife and scared away anyone who dare tried to take her away from them. Even when the chibi grew up and is independent, he still supports his former caretaker.

"She's my/his wife, she just doesn't know it yet"

This one made my head spin @~@. So many ways to go about this.

May need to make a husband vs husband post after this. What do you guys think?

England:

England is a bit of a hardhead and a little hard to get along with at first, but he'll come along and appreciate your efforts eventually.

For a little while, when you first started coming around with America, he was a little jealous of you. England has never taken care of anyone before, but you seem to be able to do it with ease. He most likely will throw you out the first handful of times you come around just because he won't admit that he doesn't exactly know what he's doing and needs help. Only after America throws constant tantrums for you to come back will England finally put his ego to the side and call you back.

England is used to others being cocky and even very passive-aggressive around him, so when you first walked in the door and you gave him a long hug, he was very caught off guard. He even treated you horribly. Why are earth are you wing so kind to him?

America on the other hand, couldn’t have been happier to finally see you around again. He had someone else who would play with him. If you can keep up with him too, all the better.

Fairly quickly after that whole endeavor, America grew close to you. England was a very busy man and had lots of things that needed his constant attention. It was nice to have you around to fill in when England couldn’t be around. Not to mention, you were a little more easy-going than him too. America just felt more at ease when you were around. England wasn’t yelling at him as much. You made England softer and kinder towards him.

It was nice. To England, it was almost like you were married. Like a family. That world never failed to flutter England; family. You guys were a family. A real family. Finally, just like he’s always wanted. Unlike his nasty brothers that were always so rude to him. He had you; the glue to it all.

As America become older and started fights over independence, things began to grow tense. England was terrified of the feeling that his perfect family was beginning to fall apart. What was worse, you supported it. You tired to argue that America was grown now but England was too stubborn to let his family go.

England fought tooth and nail to preserver his family, but in the end, America still managed to get away from him and gain his freedom. That’s when things took a turn for the worse for you.

You betrayed him. You supported America leaving and because of your help, America managed to break away from him and gain his independence. You may be America’s mother, but you’re still his wife. You’re supposed to support him above all others.

You will be punished for this and England will be very snappy but also clingy to you for a while. Don’t hold it against him though, it was all your fault for breaking apart his family.

At one point, America will try to step in between the two of you out of concern. England has shown some dark sides of hisself thought out their time in war and was afraid for you safety. Knowing England for many years himself, America just knows that England is up to some terrible things when it involves you. Especially when he’s well aware of England’s affections for you.

The two will most likely fight often over you. Bickering in meetings especially.

“Why isn’t (y/n) allowed to come meetings anymore!?”

“Has anyone else been able to contact (y/n) yet?! Or is she just yours!”

These are all true, you haven’t been present in meetings in years and anytime someone tried to contact you, England will throw a fit and forbid you from responding to them. They’ll poison your mind and take you away from him. England’s already lost his brothers and son, he won’t lose his wife too.

The dynamic between these two is serious competition. Your son, America, will do anything he can to protect you while your husband, England, will do whatever it takes to keep what’s left of his family with him.

France:

France already had a good handle on being a good parent. Not to mention that Canada is a much easier child to handle than America is. However, France is still over the fence at the thought of you wanting to join his family.

With you around, his family is complete just like France has always wanted. Countries can produce children like regular humans can, so this was the best next thing. He, like England, has been dreaming for this moment. A family to call their own.

France will often brag about how wonderful his family is now that you're here. Especially to England just to rub in his face. France just couldn't be happier with you here. No one is going to take this euphoric feeling away from him.

You thought he was just being funny, but to France, he was serious. Ever since...you know who, he's dreamed of having a wife and a family to call his own, as I've mentioned before.

You'd go along with the joke, thinking that he was just being France. That was until France began to invest in your relationship.

It started off small and you ignored or played into them for Canada. Holding Canada's hand together, singing the little nation to sleep. Even cooking together was all things that you were doing for Canada's sake, not his. You didn't mind if they helped France out too . You wanted to lighten his burden as a caretaker. That was until things started to get a little too uncomfortable for you.

France had tried to kiss you on his way out the door. Luckily, he only managed to kiss your cheek when you turned away from him. You didn't wish to alarm Canada as you knew he was a nervous nelly, so you knew you'd have a discussion with France when Canada was asleep tonight.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. You should have just run. Called England up to watch Canada and ran that day, because when France came home that night, it would be already too late.

He was having a secret meeting with your bosses today. Well, it wasn't intended to be a dirty secret. It was meant to be a surpise. France had decided a long time ago that he was going to marry you. Today was the day he'd finally put it all into place.

With a smile on his face and the most beautiful ring he could find, France practically skipped home that day. Excited to ask you the big question. France was a little worried about you avoiding his kiss that morning, but he pushed it to the side as just morning brain. If just a kiss can get you so nervous just wait until he tells you the big news.

When you rejected his proposal, he was shocked. What do you mean you don't love him? Isn't that why you lived here? To join his family?

No. No. No. No. NO! He won't have it. You do love him! France knows you do. You're just nervous and confused but don't worry, France will be a good fiance and husband and take care of you every step of the way. It's not like you can really say no when your boss already signed the papers.

Canada will be confused as he suddenly sees you less and less. Where did you go? What does France mean by needing to "heal" you? Are you sick? While France has his hands full with conditioning you he won't have a lot of time to spend with Canada. Being that he doesn't receive attention from others, this will impact Canada greatly. He'll start to cling to you more when you are allowed out. Unknowingly pushing the idea that your defiance is only hurting the family.

Spain:

Little Romano is quite the handful, so when you came around to offer your help Spain was more than happy to accept. If only Romano would behave himself and not catcall you.

What is he to do about that boy. :')

To Spain's surprise, he does see Romano settling down at some point during your visit. Romano just can't act tough forever. Not when you're pampering him like no other. Spain almost couldn't believe it when he saw Romano curled up against your side while you slowly pat his head. Careful not to touch his precious curl. Your voice was so beautiful as you sang a soft tune from your homeland. Romano was blissfully listening with a soft smile; Nealy asleep.

That day, you looked so heavenly in Spain's eyes. Like a goddess who tamed a wild beast. He almost couldn't believe that this wouldn't last forever. You would have to go home eventually as you were only a visitor.

If only there was a way you three could stay like this forever.

After that, Spain made sure to invite you over all the time. With the help of a fussy Romano who just wouldn't calm down until he saw you again, you spend an enormous amount of time at Spain's house. Much to their delight.

Whenever you were around, Spain could delve into his fantasy about being a happy family and Romano could have something that his stupid younger brother can never take away from him.

Despite Romano's hard exterior, he really is just a scared little child who was hurt by the abandonment of Rome and the overshadowing of his preppier brother, Italy. All he ever wanted was to feel seen and wanted. You were perfect.

You never once compared him to Italy or picked on him. You were always so calm and gentle but knew just how to put him back in his place. (You are quite terrifying when tempered). For that, Romano holds a lot of respect for you that carries on into his adulthood. He most definitely sees you like a mom. His mom. Not his brothers; Just his.

Spain is more than happy to use Romano's perspective of you to his advantage. If Romano sees you as his mom, then that must mean that you're also his wife. The three of you are a little, happy family.

Being a loving country, it doesn't really take Spain too long to propose to you. He was just so certain that you were dying to say yes. When you mention that you only see Spain as a friend and that you were only looking to help with Romano it shatters him. What do you mean you don't love him? Isn't that why you come around so often?

Spain takes your rejection very harshly. His mind just won't stop spinning with all these nagging questions and insecurities. Could you be seeing someone else? Taking care of another person's child?

This won't hold well for you. Spain most likely will be taken over by his rolling thoughts and lock you in his basement until you reconsider. He doesn't want to scare Romano, so he'll tell him lies about you and that this is all normal between couples. Romano will be too young to understand that what Spain is doing is really wrong. Besides, he does want you you stay with him too. Romano can't risk losing his mom.