#Was supposed to be a then vs. now thing but it took too long

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trick or treat 2024! Happy halloween🧡🧡🦇 ft. Turtle tots and April

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[starsinthesky5]

nothing's gonna hurt you baby II part 1 || joe burrow x reader

description: loving what you do doesn’t always mean it loves you back—it takes more than it gives sometimes

a/n: oh my GOD this is so long. it wasn’t supposed to be this long 😃😃😃😃. pls don’t hate me lol. this might have been the longest time i spent writing a fic too which is insane but i mean the word count speaks for itself HA. i really hope this isn’t total shit.  but, so sorry I kept you all waiting for so long!! i really hope this was worth the wait :) i took my time with this one!

also, huge huge thank you to @sofferaddict for inspiring a chunk of this fic! you’re ideas and requests were PERFECT and i hope I did them justice :)

warnings: angst, language, allusions to sex, smut at the end  (👨🚲 does this make sense???)

word count: 28.5 k (IM SO SORRY YALL-)

nothings gonna hurt you baby mini series master list (previous parts found here

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Walking into Arrowhead Stadium always creates a complex mix of emotions for you; a rich blend of excitement, nervous energy, and uncertainty. It was a feeling that seemed to linger in the air for hours to come, creating an atmosphere charged with both anxiety and thrill. This mix was a given considering the matchup that was taking place, Joe Burrow vs Patrick Mahomes. It was two of the best in the league going against each other, a rivalry that had captivated the entire football community and had become one of the most talked-about spectacles in recent years. Whenever the Bengals went head-to-head with the Chiefs, the tension was electrifying yet frightening. But it wasn't about fear of losing—true fans knew the Bengals were the Chiefs' biggest rivals for the past 4 years and were their biggest threats—it was more about fearing how intense this game would be, but that also created excitement. The excitement came from knowing that this matchup promised to deliver an intense, high-energy, and nail-biting game that would leave everyone on the edge of their seats.

However, this time, you were feeling more excited than usual. Normally, you’d be on the verge of throwing up while walking through the concourse at Arrowhead, the bright red seats in the stands acting as a warning sign that forcefully caught your attention as if something urgent or dangerous was about to happen in the next few hours. This time, however, the bright red seats produced a feeling of comfort and nostalgia, like everything was back to normal while also reminding you of the memories you had here in years past (some sweeter than others).

You weren’t sure why, but playing the Chiefs made things feel like they were truly back to normal, despite the terrible loss against the Patriots the week before. Maybe it was because Joe always played his best against KC, so this game might just light that fire inside of him he so desperately needed last week. Or maybe it was because you knew how last week's loss put the entire team on notice so today's performance should be near perfect and push things back on track since they knew what narratives were being tossed around in the media right now. 

Whatever it was, the bottom line was that you felt relaxed and confident—a complete 360 from how you felt last week before the game. 

And you weren’t the only one who felt this way today. Joe did too. 

For real this time. 

Flashback to last night 

“I miss you,” he softly said over the phone and pouted as you moved your phone back into your view and flipped over to your stomach on your bed. 

“I just saw you a few hours ago,” you giggled. “I drove you to the airport,”. 

“Yeah, I know,” he said while leaning back against his hotel bed's headrest. “But I miss touching you and feeling you next to me. That thing we did in the car was nice but that only made me more…you know…after we were done. I just miss you, all of you,”. 

You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, remembering in vivid detail what transpired in the car before he left to go board the plane. What started as an innocent goodbye kiss quickly turned into a heated exchange that led to Joe pulling you to the backseat of the Porsche and having his way with you. Even though it had been a few hours, you could still practically feel his hand gripping your thigh right now, feel his hot breath against your ear, hearing his raspy voice chant your name breathlessly over and over. That’s how dazed you still were. 

“Simmer down, Burrow. Gotta save that energy for tomorrow,” you smiled. 

“I can’t help it when my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman on the planet,” he winked while threading his fingers through his frosted tips. “You're not just beautiful, you’re magnetic. There's something about you that draws me in and doesn’t let me go, not just your looks but the way you carry yourself–confident, sexy, and undeniably captivating. Your eyes are like liquor and your body’s like gold. One thing makes me drunk to the point where I lose all sense and the other makes me greedy for more,”. 

“Joeee,” you shied away from the camera and smiled, then hid your face in the soft pillow that smelled exactly like him–crisp and clean, with a hint of his natural musk, and a little spicy–which only made you miss him even more and caused your smile to drop. 

Yeah, you missed him too. How could you not? You had gotten so used to having him around all the time during the past 10 months and all of a sudden he’s not and is spending the majority of his time at the facility, that wasn’t something you were getting used to just yet. You were beyond excited that he could now do what he loved which he had been missing for far too long, but you missed him. You missed those peaceful evenings that you two spent together, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, and lounging on the couch while watching a silly movie. You missed those mornings when you’d get to wake up to his adorable smile and gentle kisses. You missed those late nights you two spent out in the backyard, staring up at the stars and talking about life. Now that football had fully begun, these things would become sporadic and you couldn’t help but miss him every single second he was away from you, even if you had just seen him just a few hours ago like today. 

“What? It’s true,” he smirked, snapping you out of your trance. “I can’t stay away from you, you know that. I just wanna be around you all the time because of the way you make me feel,”.

He wanted to be around you, he really did. But this is what he’d have to deal with for the next 5 to 6 months and it killed him to not spend as much time with you as he wished. The past 10 months were a blessing in disguise for him; even though he was far away from what he loved to do, he was with the person he loved to love. That’s all that mattered.

But now he was close to what he loved to do, but a little further from the person he loved to love–and that sucked. 

“Oh really? How do I make you feel?” you asked while peeking up from the pillow with a cheeky grin.

“Hmm,” he hummed and raised his eyebrow as he pretended to think about how you made him feel. He really didn’t need to think about it, the way you made him feel was so obvious to the point where even everyone around him could see it. 

Just that afternoon, after Joe finally got out of the car and made his way to the plane, Ja’marr and Tee noticed that Joe looked happier, livelier, and more radiant than normal. At first, they couldn’t put their finger on what made him feel like that, especially before a game like this where he’d normally be dialed in and visibly numb. But once they saw the Porsche drive away and a girl wave goodbye in the window, they knew exactly what got him to this point. 

They dubbed this the ‘Y/N glow’, a playful name for the look Joe had whenever he was around them and was giving off specific energy, a specific energy that they noticed he had around you. So whenever Joe showed up around the guys with this glow–without you by his side–they knew something must have happened before with you to make him like this. They applauded your talents, nothing could make Joe this visibly happy, not even football. The way he remained like this even when you weren’t around was remarkable, it goes to show the depth of your love for him and the profound impact you had on him.

That’s why Joe wanted to be around you at all times, the way you made him feel was irreplicable and so good that he was addicted to it, to you. You brought a smile to his face by doing the most minimal things, making him feel a genuine happiness that football could never bring him. You always had a way of making him feel better, even when he was so far gone that he didn’t even know how to pull himself out of that hole on his own. He needed you, he always needed you. Last week was the perfect example; he was almost too deep into that hole of anxiety and self-doubt and pushed you away again, but you once again came right in with no limitations and pulled him back out. He was so extremely blessed to have you in his corner, and he knew that. 

“You make me feel like I’ve already won,” he grinned. 

“Won what?” you bit your lip and asked, flipping around onto your back.

“The best trophy anyone can possibly win,”. 

“Are you calling me a trophy girlfriend?” you furrowed your brows and asked. 

“Oh, no. God no,” he laughed. “I mean, I feel like I’ve already won with you. The greatest thing anyone can have in this world is genuine, unconditional love. I have that…with you,” he said, his tone becoming more serious. “Winning you and your love is the greatest trophy, the greatest achievement I could ever have,”. 

“Even greater than a Lombardi?” you asked, a tear forming in your eyes because of the sudden severity of his voice. The combination of his voice and the emotions you were already feeling from being apart from him created a strong mix. If he wasn't currently on Facetime with you, you would’ve found yourself seeking comfort in his pillow, probably crying your eyes out. “Fuck, I miss him,” you thought to yourself. 

“Greater than a Lombardi, MVP, and Hall of Fame induction,” he nodded. 

“Damn, you really love me,” you giggled as you subtly wiped the tear from your eye, trying to prevent him from seeing that you were a little emotional because you didn’t need him to get distracted. 

“Really is an understatement. Loving you is like being on fire because it’s intense, all-consuming, and totally wild. It burns inside me, making my heart and soul come alive. You're the flame I never want to put out, the passion I never want to lose. You're the light in my darkest hours and the warmth in my coldest nights,”.

“You’re so sweet and poetic,” you blushed, giving him a love-struck smile as you gazed deeply into his eyes through the screen.  

“And you’re so damn cute,” he smiled as he got up from his bed to grab his water bottle.

You let out a soft chuckle, your heart swelling because of how gentle, warming, and loving his words directed to you were, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” you asked, getting up from your bed and walking over to the bathroom to fix your messy hair. 

“Surprisingly good,” he said as he moved around the room, sounds of shuffling and clanking filling the bathroom as you grabbed your brush. “Practice went well, as you know, and I feel pretty good about where I’m at. Physically and Mentally,” he nodded as he came back into the camera view. 

“That’s great, babe,” you smiled, feeling lighter after hearing him say that he feels good mentally. Last week was rough and you did not want to see a repeat of that ever again, especially after how long it took you to calm him down. 

“I was too hard on myself last week, can’t let that happen again or I think I’ll be borderline psychotic by week 18,” he joked. 

As you spoke, a warm, reassuring smile graced your face. "You're absolutely right. It's not healthy to load yourself with so much pressure. What's important is that you're giving it your all. I want you to know that I'm genuinely proud of you no matter what," you said gently, your hand reaching up to brush back a loose strand of hair.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled. “Kansas City’s always a good game regardless. Tomorrow should be good. Not an easy game, but good. Unlike last week, I feel relaxed and confident. Since I’ve gotten hit a few times, that’s put my mind at ease about the wrist a little bit and I feel good. I’m hoping tomorrow’s game will bring that fire back into the guys, and even me,” he said before unscrewing the cap of his water and taking a big sip. 

“I know it will,” you said while grabbing a hair clip. “At least we know Ja’marr will be fired up no matter what,” you giggled, referring to Ja’marrs long-lasting beef with the entirety of Kansas City. 

He let out a soft laugh, “Ohhh yeah. He’s amped up for sure,”. He closed his water before returning to the camera with a cheeky grin, “I am too, to be honest, but not only because we’re playing the Chiefs. I’m excited to have you here for the game,”.

“Well, I’m excited to be there for the game,” you winked as you grabbed the phone and went back to the bedroom. “My flight’s in like an hour or so and Emma should be meeting me at the airport so we can fly to Kansas City together,”.

“I’m glad she could fly in for the game and keep you company,” he said, talking about your childhood best friend. “I didn’t want you to be all alone since my parents can’t make it and thank god and my big ass contract for letting me get you guys a suite.. I don’t ever want you sitting in the stands because those fans are intense as hell,”. 

“Tell me about it,” you said, widening your eyes. “They’re so fucking loud on TV and in person, it’s like on a whole other level of rowdy fans. I thought Philly had the rowdiest NFL fans but KC might give them a run for their money,”.

“Mmm, I think Philly still wins in that department,” Joe shook his head and said. "But Kansas City definitely knows how to bring the energy, especially when they're up against the Bengals. It's like they're out there with an extra level of fire and even insanity when they're up against us,”. 

“Well it’s a good thing you’re Joe Cool and can effortlessly cool them off by doing what you do out there,” you grinned, making dramatic hand movements to emphasize your words. 

“Thanks, Y/N,” he chuckled, threading his fingers through his soft frosted tips. “I’m gonna let you go now so you can get to your flight on time. I know you get stressed out at the airport so you should probably leave now to give yourself some grace time,” he smiled. “I think some of the guys are going down to grab something to eat from the conference room so I’m gonna go with them,”. 

"You’re probably right,” you laughed and nodded as you reached down and pulled up your sleek, black carry-on suitcase with silver accents. The suspense of the game weighed heavily on your mind as you spoke, "I don't know if I'll get a chance to talk to you tomorrow before the game, so I just wanted to say that you got this, Joe. I know you do. Remember to keep calm, take a deep breath, and dial in on the field. Don't think about anything else–forget about the roar of the crowd, the flashing cameras of the media, the distracting questions from the reporters. Block it all out and do what you do best out there. It's just you and the football,". 

"I love you so much," Joe said as if he was lost in some trance, his eyes filled with warmth and sincerity, while giving you a tight-lipped smile. You could see the genuine affection in his eyes as he spoke those words. He valued your words, advice, and honesty more than anything else. 

"I love you too," you said, unable to contain your joy as a wide grin spread across your face. Your cheeks flushed with a rosy blush, responding to the intense gaze he fixed on you. His eyes spoke volumes, showing an overwhelming amount of love and endearing infatuation that made your heart flutter.

End of flashback 

Hearing him say that he felt good about today's game, with a confident smile on his face and a sense of determination in his voice, was all you needed to fully relax and feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You noticed the way his eyes sparkled with a mix of excitement and focus, and you couldn't help but feel a wave of positive energy. You were genuinely excited about the game this time, it was a completely different feeling than you had before last week's game when doubt and nerves had overshadowed your usual enthusiasm.

“Did I mention how amazing you look right now, Mrs. Burrow?” Emma teased as she snapped you out of your trance. You blinked your eyes a few times and realized you were now standing in your suite for the evening which was facing the Bengals sideline, not knowing when and how you even ended up in there. You looked down and noticed you were holding a glass, seemingly filled with a Vodka Cranberry Cocktail, not even knowing how this drink ended up in your hold. “Damn, he has me in a trance even when he’s not with me,” you thought to yourself as you looked back at Emma. 

“Em…,” you said to her while giving her a look.

“What? I’m just stating the facts, Y/N. I know that ring is coming sooner rather than later,” she winked. “Joe is so down bad obsessed with you, I really don’t think he can go another year without officially officially marking his territory with a big, beautiful diamond ring,”. 

"...Yeah," you giggled and nodded a few seconds later, feeling a little shy all of a sudden at the mention of how obsessed he was with you. The thought of marrying Joe filled your mind with a sense of euphoria and excitement, it was a beautiful dream you craved to turn into reality. The past 5 years with him were nothing short of a fairytale, and you two ruled the kingdom you had built together hand-in-hand with no intention of ever letting go. From the moment you first saw each other, you knew that this relationship would be different; and it was. It was different because you two had a connection that neither of you had ever had with anyone before. A kind of connection that only needed one small spark to fully catch on fire. And that fire burned no matter the circumstance: through the rain, the wind, and anything that threatened to blow it out. 

A connection that felt like it was written in the stars–something cosmic, fated, inescapable. Once those stars aligned, everything clicked into place your lives intertwined in a way that felt as natural as breathing. It wasn’t forced and it certainly wasn’t rushed; it was like you were both simply waiting for the universe to do its thing, to bring you together at the right moment. As time went on, you realized just how deeply ingrained that bond was. It wasn’t just the shared laughs, the stolen kisses, or even the way you could read each other without saying a word. It was the way you stood by each other through the storms, the way you’d hold each other’s hands when the weight of the world was too much to carry alone.

Joe had reassured you of his intent to marry you multiple times which only intensified the significance of Emma's words and made butterflies flutter in your belly. Joe knew you were his forever from the second he saw you, it was only a matter of time before he made it clear to everyone. You twirled a strand of your hair around your finger, feeling a warm blush creeping up your cheeks as you tried to hide your smile. “But he’s focused on ball right now and he knows I don’t care when it happens,”. 

“We’ll see,” Emma grinned, her tone of voice making you suspicious but you decided to let it go knowing this wasn’t the time to pick her brain about this subject. “But seriously, you look hot as hell right now. Best dressed WAG in the league by a long shot and man is Joe going to die when he sees this look. Taylor ain’t got nothing on you today,”.

"Hey," you snapped as your jaw fell, unable to hide your surprise. "No disrespect to Taylor. We love her, and I know she's on the enemy’s side tonight, but listen, her music has been with us through thick and thin, every breakup, situationship, and boyfriend. Without her, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get over James. Not to mention, I think she subconsciously wrote Call it what you want and King of my heart about me and Joe,".

“You’re right, you’re sooo right,” Emma said as she nodded. “But like, you look great,” she smiled as she gestured to your outfit. 

You were wearing a skin-tight, cropped, custom-made, orange Burrow jersey that fit like a baby tee. It was a unique piece, specially made to your measurements and featuring Joe’s name and number. Along with the jersey, you wore your trademark ‘9’ necklace, adding a personal touch to the outfit. The denim mini-skirt complemented the jersey top perfectly, adding a casual yet stylish element to your look. The custom white knee-high boots were a standout feature, with a beautifully embroidered ‘9’ on the bottom by your ankle, fashionably showcasing your team spirit. To top it off, you had a vintage Bengals hat on, completing the outfit with a touch of retro charm. Truth be told, you looked absolutely stunning and it was clear who you were specifically supporting tonight.

“I guess I do,” you smiled, taking a sip of the cocktail that was in your hand. 

You spent the rest of the time watching the pre-game warmups, observing how quickly fans flooded the stadium, and listening to how loud it was getting even though the game hadn’t even started yet. There were hardly any Bengals fans around your suite, honestly, all you saw was a sea of red around the stadium–not really surprising since not everyone wants to make a trip to Kansas City during week 2, especially after that loss last week. 

“Holy Red Kingdom,” Emma said in surprise, raising her eyebrows as she looked down and saw a crowd of Chiefs fans right in front of your suite. 

“Yeah,” you nodded as you looked down with her, your eyes scanning the crowd and only seeing ‘15’s and ‘87’s along with bright red shirts, hats, and jerseys. As you looked around the crowd and glanced down to the right, searching for any signs of orange, you heard loud, obnoxious shouting from below. At first, you thought it was just rowdy fans getting excited for the game about to start in a few minutes. But then the words that followed made you feel uneasy, and you quickly looked in that direction.

“Lookie, Lookie. Looks like we got a little Burrow fan up there,” one of the men said pointing up at you. 

“Really?” another man cackled, looking right up at you, his face contorting to a look of surprise once he saw you. “Oh shit!”. 

“No fucking way,” another man howled. “I didn’t think that joke of a quarterback still had any fans around. Especially after that embarrassing loss last week against the Patriots out of all teams. Like how do you play that bad against the fucking Patriots during Week 1? And wasn’t he all ‘I feel as good as I’ve ever felt in my entire career’ like two weeks ago? It sure as hell didn’t look like it last Sunday,” he laughed. “He was probably lying to save his ass,”. 

“That injury clearly fucked him up for good, there’s no coming back from that. He might as well just call it quits now before he gets hurt again and ends up stuck in the hospital bed, I’ve never seen a more injury-prone quarterback since Andrew Luck, Burrow should stop chasing that trophy and sit back down and think about his health,” he laughed, making a mockery out of Joe’s health and stamina. 

“I mean, it’s not like he had much going for him before the injury anyway. He came into the league as this hotshot, sparkly quarterback but has nothing to show for the hype that’s around him except for an embarrassing Super Bowl loss. Not to mention that he was overpaid by a lot I mean, with that contract you’d think he’d won two Lombardi’s back to back,” the other man laughed. “Bitch thinks he’s Pat Mahomes,” the man shook his head and hollered, earning loud laughs and words of agreement from the other men. 

“Hey!” one of the other men shouted up at you. “You’re supporting the wrong guy, sweet cheeks,” he slurred as he pointed back to the field. “A pretty lady like you needs to show up for a real man like Mahomes or Kelce. Hell, we’re probably better than that pussy, Burrow,” he snarled, the hungry look in his eyes making you feel incredibly uneasy.

“Oooooo,” another man teased. “She does look like she’d look hot in KC red. Not to mention how bangin’ her body is and that ugly orange isn’t doing her tits any justice,”.

Emma's eyes widened in shock as she whispered, "Oh my god," and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. The lewd comments from the drunk men made you both furious and highly uncomfortable, causing your shoulders to tense up with nervousness.

“Yeahhh,” the other man shouted, “Come sit down here with us, sweetheart. We can help you take that ugly ass Burrow shirt off and give you one of our shirts to wear…but that’s if you’re lucky,” he winks, earning high-fives from the other men for insinuating something like that. 

He was so obviously drunk. They were all drunk. 

Your heart raced in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears as a wave of anxiety washed over you, leaving you paralyzed with hesitation. Your mind raced, desperately searching for the right words or actions in this strange situation. This was uncharted territory for you, something you had never expected having to confront so you had no idea what to say or do. 

“He’s a failure!”. “Complete waste of talent right there!”. “He can’t even throw like he used to!”. “Career went down the toilet as soon as he was drafted to Shittcinati!”. “He’s one hit away from being done for good!”. 

The insults echoed in your mind, each word leaving a harsh mark and adding to the weight on your shoulders you thought you got rid of over the past week. As the crowd quieted for the kickoff, the echoes of their insults lingered. During the chaos, you could only think about Joe, feeling his absence strongly. The hurtful words triggered familiar feelings of anxiety and worry that you had worked hard to overcome before stepping into the stadium and you didn’t know what to do.

“Y/N?” Emma asked as she grabbed your trembling hand. “Are you alright?” she asked as she gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“Y- yeah,” you lied as you felt your eyes well with tears. “I’m fine. It was just a bunch of drunk idiots, n- nothing to worry about,” you said to her while giving her a fake, rehearsed smile as you felt that pit in your stomach you got last week come back. 

“Are you sure? That was fucking disgusting and so uncalled for, I’m sure we can talk to someone and-,”.

“No.” you interrupted her and said, your voice heavy and almost scared. “I really don’t want to make a scene here and I don’t even think those guys knew I’m Joe’s girlfriend. I really don’t want to be the subject of those annoying headlines over this and make things even more distracting for Joe,” you swallowed. 

“But I-,”.

“Emma, please,” you pleaded as you looked into her eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied again, giving her false reassurance by pulling her in for a hug.

You were not fine. Joe. You needed Joe. The one person who could calm you down, get you to relax, the person who would be able to deal with this and shield you from the disgusting comments. “I need you right now,” you thought to yourself as you felt your throat tighten and tears threaten to spill out. You had never experienced anything like this before and although it was just a group of idiotic men that didn’t know you or Joe enough to be saying all of that, it still felt like a punch straight to the gut because the things they were saying were along the same lines of what Joe was saying to you last week, only they were saying it in a harsher more hateful manner. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to tell Joe about this, knowing that it would just become another distraction for him. 

“This is going to be a long game,” you thought to yourself after pulling away from the hug sitting back down in your seat, feeling the urge to shrink away and hide. The pit in your stomach mixed with your growing anxiety left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you feel exactly how you did last week during the game. 

It felt as if the protective bubble shielding you from the raging storm outside had burst, leaving you once again in the middle of the storm, feeling scared, anxious, and on the verge of being swept away by your thoughts.

“Fuck,” you thought to yourself. “I hope this feeling goes away,”. 

A few hours later - End of the Game

It definitely did not go away.

The comments from the drunk fans set the tone for you for the rest of the game. It seemed like everything went downhill from there–for you and for the team. Some exciting, explosive moments had you on your feet but those were tinted by the other, more unpleasant things that happened. 

You found yourself once again on the edge of your seat the entire game, but not because of the thrill or because you had adrenaline coursing through your veins. It was for the exact same reason as last week–you were scared, anxious, and upset. The game was neck and neck, a pure nail-biter as usual, and the Bengals put up one hell of a fight and honestly should have won the game, but they once again couldn’t do it.

They played good and way better than last week, but just not good enough. 

And then it came to Joe. The one person that had been on your mind since the game began. 

Flashback

"Oh my god!" you yelled as you shot up from your chair, your heart palpitating in your chest as you saw Joe go in for the QB sneak. You could see the determination in his eyes as he charged forward, only to get his shoulder rammed into by a defender. In that split second, you knew it was going to be a hard hit. Joe was brought straight to the ground, his helmet knocked off, and he was immediately crushed by several large opposing players. The impact echoed through the stadium as you breathed, praying he’d get up.

“Holy Shit,” Emma gasped next to you, her hand over her mouth. “I hope he’s okay, that looks like it fucking hurt,”. 

“Joe, please be okay,” you whispered to yourself, your entire body feeling as if it was just thrown into a familiar brick wall. Immediately, your mind wandered over to the moments he had gotten injured in the past, and what just happened in that play was very similar to what’s happened before. The feeling you got in your body just now was very similar to how you felt in those moments. It was as if you were thrown into the abyss, had your heart torn from your chest, or stabbed in the stomach. 

“Not again. I can’t do that again. He can’t do that again,” you thought to yourself as you felt your eyes pool with tears. “His fucking helmet flew off, Emma,” you said as you turned to her, your voice trembling and breaths getting shorter. “And…and his shoulder. The way he went down…,”.

“I know, I know,” she said as she rubbed your back, “But look, he’s getting up and he looks fine”. 

You looked back down to the field, watching as Joe grabbed his helmet and stood up with an emotionless look on his face. As you watched him from a distance, you noticed that there was no hint of a limp in his stride, no flexing of his wrist, and no visible signs of shoulder pain. It seemed like he was moving with relaxation and confidence, showing no physical pain as he prepared to rejoin the game.

“See? It’s okay. He’s okay,” she soothed as she swayed you back and forth for comfort. 

“Fuck,” you whispered as you slowly nodded, taking deep breaths to even out your heart rate, “He’s okay…He’s fine…,”. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Emma reassured. “Don’t worry so much. Joe’s a tough guy, a play like this isn’t going to hurt him. Especially now since he’s so so much stronger and tougher, ”. 

“You’re right,” you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down by continuing to take deep breaths and using your right hand to gently rub your left hand (the hand which had the veins that led straight to your heart)—a gesture that always calmed you down that Joe discovered. You rubbing your hand didn’t have the same effect as when Joe did it, but it was enough for now. 

“I just- they can’t do that again. He could’ve gotten really hurt,” you mumbled.

Even though he looked calm and normal, you started to feel more and more uneasy. At the same time, you began to taste something bitter in your mouth, and it got stronger with every breath.

End of Flashback

The trauma of witnessing his previous injuries had left you with a bit of PTSD. As a result, every time he fell or moved differently, you experienced intense anxiety and fear, believing that something may be seriously wrong. 

You had hoped that moment was the only time this evening you’d feel like this, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. 

The QB sneak was just one example from this evening.

Flashback 

“Yeah, and I thought about bringing Ryland but he had to go into New York this weekend with his brother for the Cage The Elephant concert,” Emma said as she took a sip of her cocktail. You two were talking about needing to plan a double date with the four of you (you, Joe, Emma, and her Boyfriend). She also mentioned that she wanted to bring him to the game this evening but he already had tickets for the concert with his brother and wished he could have joined you all. 

“Sooo, I take it you two are getting serious,” you giggled, wiggling your eyebrows. 

“What makes you say that?” she asked, taking another sip.

“We never do double dates, Em. Like ever,” you smiled. “Your exes were douches so you never brought them around Joe and me on purpose as a coupley thing but you are with Ryland so something has to be different,”.

“I could say the same thing about you, Mrs. Burrow, Mrs. Quarterback, Mrs. 9, Mrs. Cincinnati, Mrs. Shiesty,” she teased with a silly smile. “You never brought a boyfriend around me like that for the same reason and here we are, sitting in a suite your lover rented for you, watching him play football, while you’re completely decked out in his name and number.  You and Joe are like a package deal. Inseparable, attached at the hip, and so obsessed with one another. You are locked the fuckkkk in and I could not be more happier for you,”. 

“Emmmaaaaa,” you whined, hiding your face out of shyness. 

“I can just hear those wedding bells, Y/N,” she giggled, pulling your hands down. “Here comes the bride,” she sing-songed.

“Rigggghtttt,” you nodded, laughing along with her and glancing back to the field to see if the break was over and to see where your boyfriend was.

You felt your heart drop and a lump forming in your throat as your eyes locked onto Joe, who was standing crouched down on the field. "Oh my god," you choked, the words barely escaping your lips as you shot up from your chair, feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You walked with shaky steps straight to the edge of the suite window, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once.

You saw Joe standing on the field, his back to you, and crouched down; almost as if he was holding his wrist. Your mind quickly flashed back to November 16th, M&T Bank Stadium, the night he got hurt and was in this exact position. “Oh my god,” you said again, this time more panic evident in your voice. 

“What’s wrong?” Emma asked as she looked at you.

“Joe…he looks like he’s holding his wrist?” you mumbled as you moved to the side to see if you could get a better look. “Emma, I think something’s wrong,” you said, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. 

Emma quickly got up from her seat and walked over next to you, taking a look at what you were talking about. “Are you sure?” she asked with a concerned look. 

“It- it looks like it…oh my god,” you said as you felt your throat tighten, then covered your face with your eyes. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening again. Not now,” you sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

Emma continued to look down at Joe with you, her eyes twinkling with amusement and her smile coming back once she got a better view of him. "Ohhhh, Y/N," she laughed next to you, her pleasant voice filling the air. She placed her arm around your shoulder, the warmth of her touch comforting and familiar, and gave you a gentle squeeze.

“What?” you asked her, peeking through your hands.

“Look down,” she said, pointing back down to Joe. 

You moved your hands down and slowly turned to your head to look at him and what you saw was completely unexpected. 

Joe was tying his shoes. 

That’s why he was crouched down. 

"He was... he was tying his shoes?" you whispered, feeling your heart start up again and a wave of relief come over you, which swept away the nausea. The sight of him crouched down, looping the laces and tying them into neat bows, reassured you that everything was okay. You have never been happier to see him tying his shoes, doing such a simple and ordinary task. 

“Looks like it,” she laughed, then looked back at you and saw your face relax. “You okay?”.

“I think so,” you breathed out, watching him stand back up and walk around like nothing happened. “I just got scared for a second. That position seemed a little too familiar for my liking,” you nervously laughed. 

“I get it. This stuff has to be stressful for you because of the wrist. It’s normal to get a bit of PTSD,” she said.

“I think I’ll be dead by Week 18 if I keep freaking out over these things,” you joked, placing your hand over your heart. 

Every time he did something different, like flexing his wrist or crouching down weirdly, rubbing a certain part of his body, or sporting a look of discomfort—you were scared shitless. The thought of him getting injured again and having to go through all the pain and suffering was your biggest nightmare. 

End of Flashback 

Then, it was Ja’marr’s situation on the field, a situation that had quickly escalated as everyone was running on pure adrenaline and anger. 

Even Joe, who usually keeps his calm in these scenarios. 

Flashback

“Ja’marr looks pissed, holy shit,” you said as you looked down onto the field and saw him visibly angry at the Refs. 

“Look at Joe trying to swoop in and save his bestie,” Emma laughed as she pointed towards Joe who was running to Ja’marr, then grabbing him to move him away from the Ref. 

“That’s Joe, all right,” you smiled, “Always being Switzerland,”. 

You watched as the situation on the field seemingly fizzled out after that, but then also watched as things quickly heated up again and Ja’marr was going right back in. You leaned forward in your seat, “What the fuck is even happening? Why is he so livid?” you said. 

“I think it might have been related to the play before but I think the fact that the Ref isn’t talking to him is making it worse,” Emma nodded.

“Yeah,” you said quietly, your eyes widening as you watched Joe come back into the situation, this time his entire body language showing that he was not happy. You watched as he pulled Ja’marr away from the Ref and then tried to speak with the Ref himself, only to be interrupted by Ja’marr again.

“Oh my-,” you began to say before your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of Joe roughly pushing Ja’marr away from him. 

"Holy fuck," Emma said in surprise, her eyes widening as she watched the intense scene unfold on the field. Both of you stood there, observing Joe extending an arm to try to keep Ja'marr away, but it was clear that his efforts weren’t working. Joe had to keep pushing Ja'marr back while also giving him a piece of his mind. "Y/N, I've never seen Joe that aggressive before on the field," she pointed out, her voice laced with concern as she continued to watch the tense exchange between the two players.

“Me either. He always keeps his cool, so something bad must have happened for him to get like this,” you agreed, the sight of Joe getting heated on the field both concerning and slightly enticing for you. 

“I didn’t know Joe got rough like that,” Emma laughed, trying to lighten the vibes by teasing you, and oh was it working.

“Very funny, Em,” you said, sending her an intense look and trying to hide your smile even though you were laughing internally at what she was implying. 

“What? I mean, if he’s like that out there I can’t even imagine how he’s like in-,” she started to say before you interrupted her. 

“Emma!” you laughed, your entire body shaking from your reaction. “He’d kill me if he knew we were talking about this,”.

“So that means what I’m saying is true,” she giggled while raising her eyebrow. 

You tried to hide your smile by gently pressing your lips together, but the corners of your mouth gave you away, turning up in a slight but unmistakable grin. Your cheeks, with a rosy, playful blush, gave off warmth, revealing everything without you needing to say a word.

“Daaaaamn, Joe,” she smiled. “Well at least now I know that you have a good sex life,” she winked. 

“Good? It’s fucking phenomenal,” you nonchalantly mumbled which earned a gasp from Emma. 

“Ahhh,” she shrieked, breaking out into a fit of laughter with you. 

Although you were taking a lighthearted approach to the situation, whatever happened on the field didn’t sit well with you. You weren’t sure what was going on with Ja’marr and although you were worried about him, your attention was mostly on Joe. His visible agitation, a stark contrast to his usual composed presence on the field, was concerning. He always kept his cool whenever things went sideways out there because he didn’t like getting worked up. After all, that diverted his focus, but this time it seemed like he lost all of his ability to keep calm–which only meant one thing. 

It was getting to him. This game was getting to him. 

End of Flashback 

As the game went on, he only got more and more frustrated. You could tell he wasn’t happy with his performance and the team’s performance by his body language and the grim yet frustrated look on his face. 

His unhappiness was justified, this game was brutal and although the Bengals had an answer for every play the Chiefs made, there were too many careless mistakes that ended up costing them the game. One thing in particular that you knew Joe would repeatedly think about was his fumble in the 4th quarter which the Chiefs capitalized on and got a free 6 points from. You knew he’d obsess over that play because it was his mistake that cost them the ball and why they got those points. 

If that fumble return didn’t happen, they had a good chance of winning the game, and you knew that thought would haunt Joe for the rest of the night. 

You felt awful about the entire thing, how the team struggled against them, how Joe struggled against them, how their ignorant mistakes that should’ve been cleared up were costing them this important game. 

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. 

Flashback to the last few seconds of the game 

“I just…I can’t believe we lost,” you said as you blankly stared out onto the field, watching as the clock painfully ticked down. “We were so close…he was so close, I..,” you started to get choked up and said, clutching your ‘9’ necklace in the process. “And he looks so..he looks so sad and disappointed,”. 

Joe.

That is literally all you could think about right now. Not the team, not the fans, not the careless mistakes, not the fact that you lost the game by 1 point and a few bullshit referee calls. 

Just Joe. 

“I know, Y/N. I know,” Emma said as she placed a comforting arm around your shoulder and let you lay your head on her shoulder. 

“And Joe’s probably already beating himself up for this and-,” you began to say before you were interrupted by loud, obnoxious yelling again. 

“How does it feel, girls?” the fan laughed as the same group of men from earlier looked up at you and Emma.

“I swear to fucking god,” Emma whispered before speaking up, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn lives? Leave her alone you miserable freaks,”. 

“Oooo, someone’s getting defensive,” the other drunk laughed. 

“They seem so sad, awww,” the other man mocked in a child-like voice. “That’s what happens when you support the wrong fucking guy, sweetheart,”.

“He was a shitty quarterback, still is a shitty quarterback, and will forever be a shitty quarterback. You got the short end of the stick, babe,” the other man laughed while raising his cup in the air. “It ain’t too late to switch teams…or switch shirts,” he winked.

“Wait a second,” one of the men said while looking down at his phone. “Holy fuck, look at this y’all,” he said to the other men as he turned his phone around.

“That girl up there is Burrow’s girlfriend. Just came up on my feed,” he said as he glanced up at you and showed you the picture of you and Joe from the sidelines at the last home game which made it onto some sports tabloid. 

“No freaking way!” one of the men obnoxiously laughed. “This bitch is his fucking girlfriend? That’s even more embarrassing for her. Supports a shitty ass team with a lackluster quarterback and is dating him? Man, your standards must be low as fuck,”. 

You held your tongue, clenching your fists to stop yourself from defending Joe and yourself. You didn't want to create a scene, but the want to speak up was strong. Your eyes burned with built-up tears and you knew that if you let them fall, you wouldn't be able to stop. “Please stop,” you thought to yourself, your entire body telling you that you needed to be in Joe’s arms. His warmth, his touch, and his words were what you needed right now. 

"Damn, they’ve been together since his days down in Louisiana. That’s like what? 5 years? Damn, he didn't even bother to put a ring on her finger either. So not only is he a bad football player, but he's also proving to be an even worse boyfriend," one man chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to put a ring on her finger. He probably knows she’s a gold digger and is only with him for the money and fame. I mean, look at her? She looks like a slut and is practically asking for all eyes to be on her. Attention whore at it’s finest,” he cackled. 

“Or maybe it’s because Burrow wants to keep his options open. He has to be getting models thrown at him left and right, ain’t no way he hasn’t swooped in on one while being with her. He’s definitely keeping his options open until a hot enough chick comes around and he can ditch this girl. And if one doesn’t, he’ll settle for her and have his homemaker around,” one man laughed. 

“Please…stop,” you whispered, your bottom lip trembling from the anxiety that was spreading through your body. 

“Y/N…let’s just go,” Emma whispered in your ear as she noticed the pain in your eyes. 

“Look at her face, I mean she looks fucking embarrassing,” the man snarled, pointing up at you. “You got something to say or are you as incompetent as your little boyfriend?”. 

“Burrow needs to put that trash to the side and date someone more on his level,” another man howled. “If football doesn’t work for him—which it clearly isn’t because he succckkkkssss,” he yelled. “Fucking a supermodel will give him a lengthy life in the public eye at least,”. 

"Sorry babe, this is what happens when you come into the Reedddddd Kingdommm," the other man said with a sly smile, his voice laced with a hint of mischief as he sang that horrid, cheesy, ear-bleed-inducing tune, his words echoing through your mind along with everything else that was said. 

“Don’t say sorry to her? She knew what she walked into when she showed up in that god-awful number, color, and name,” another man laughed, holding his plastic cup of beer in the air.

You thought he was just raising his cup, but you were so wrong. “Go back to Shittcinnati, slut!” he yelled, throwing his cup at the shield of your suite. 

“Oh my fucking god,” Emma yelled as she quickly pulled you back from the window, both of you watching the cup hit the window and the beer splash everywhere against the shield.

"W- what," you stammered, your voice trembling with fear and confusion. You felt your throat tighten again as panic set in, and your stomach churned with unease. The room seemed to spin as you struggled to make sense of the overwhelming emotions washing over you.

“Hell no, we’re leaving now. This is fucking disgusting,” Emma said as she left your side, grabbed your things, and then led you out of the suite. You were so in shock that it felt like your mind had detached from your body and as if you were watching everything happen from a distance, unable to fully process what was going on.

End of flashback 

You were entirely zoned out for at least 10 minutes as Emma led you down the narrow, dimly lit hallway to the locker room area to see Joe.  It was like you were trapped in a dark, windowless room, the air filled with the smell of sweaty players and damp towels. You didn't know where to go, what to do, or what to say. You felt lost, alone, and out of it, as if the world around you had faded. "What the hell just happened?" you asked yourself, getting lost in the endless abyss that was your thoughts to the point where you barely heard Emma tell you she was going to the bathroom. Your brain wasn’t comprehending what had just happened, but your heart was and it hurt. Their comments hurt, the look in their eyes hurt, and you were hurt. 

“Y/N?” a heavy yet gentle voice said which snapped you back to the present. You turned your head and saw Joe walking towards you, your face quickly turning to a livelier, happier expression to hide your true feelings, he didn’t need to see you like this; not now. His feelings were what you needed to focus on, and given the kind of loss they just had, you knew he had a lot of feelings; yours weren’t as important. 

He pulled you into his chest, tucking your head in his neck and he wrapped his arms around you, “I missed you so much,” he smiled, his strained voice and body telling you how tense he was even if he tried to hide it with his smile.

"I missed you too," you mumbled against him, the rise and fall of his breathing providing a sense of comfort as you felt yourself melt away in the safe bubble that his presence always provided you. The warmth of his embrace surrounded you, and for a moment, everything else faded into the background. 

He let go of your waist and moved his hand up to your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. His warm lips against yours felt like a breath of fresh air, a breath of fresh air he had no idea you desperately needed. Joe immediately sensed the tension in your body as he kissed you. Normally, you melted into him, but this time your posture was rigid, your shoulders stiff, and your movements hesitant. His lips brushed against yours, but he could feel how dry and cracked they were, a telltale sign you’d been anxiously biting at them for hours. Joe knew this habit all too well; it was something you did when you were nervous, anxious, or lost in thought. 

After lingering for a few seconds, he gently pulled back, his brows furrowed with concern. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made it hard to look away. He could see past the surface–the forced calm and the faint smile. There, in the depth of your eyes, he found what you were trying so hard to hide. The pain, the weight of anxiety, the shadows of doubt–he saw it all.

"Something's wrong," he said quietly but firmly, his voice low. He didn’t look away, holding the gaze as if he dared you to deny what he already knew. His hand gently cupped your face, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he waited for you to let him in.

“N- nothing’s wrong,” you said as you gave him a faint smile, your smile and voice not convincing enough. 

“Y/N, I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, remember?” he smiled as he echoed what you said to him last week, “Are you okay?” he asked as he tucked your soft hair behind your ear. 

You stayed quiet for a few seconds, not wanting to burden him with your emotions since you knew he already had enough to deal with on his own. But you knew you had to tell him because you couldn’t deal with this on your own. You needed him.  

“No,” you replied with full honesty, tears pooling in your eyes as you thought about everything that happened again. You stared deeply into his tired blue eyes, noticing that there was something he was hiding from you too. “Are you okay?” you asked him, praying he didn’t brush you off like he did last week. 

“No,” he quickly replied with the same honesty you gave him, his face dropping once he admitted that he wasn’t okay, and you knew exactly why. “But we can talk about that back at home,” he added, a wave of relief washing over you once you heard him say that because that implied he wasn’t going to shut you out again.

“O- okay,” you nodded as you felt him move his hand down to yours, then pull you over to a more secluded area away from the staff, players, and anyone that would overhear anything that was meant to be private. He saw the look in your eyes and that set off a siren in his head, something had happened and you were hiding it from him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Joe asked again softly as he turned to face you, his voice laced with concern. His hand found yours, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the back of your left hand in an absentminded but soothing gesture that he knew would calm you down. “You look shaken up,” he continued, his brow furrowing as his eyes scanned your face for any clue you might give him. “Did something happen that you’re not telling me about?” His voice was gentle, but the worry in his tone was obvious. His thumb traced slow, rhythmic patterns across your knuckles, a silent reassurance that he was here and that he wouldn’t let go until you told him what was weighing on you.

You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes again, seeing that it was just Joe. You could talk to him; you could talk to him about anything because he made it very clear to you that he was always going to be there for you no matter what. He was your safety net, you could fall back and he would catch you every time. 

“Something…something happened up at the suite,” you began to say, Joe’s eyes instantly softening because he knew what you were about to say. His biggest concern, his biggest fear when it came to you and football had come to life. 

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself before beginning to remember everything. The words came out slowly at first, but once you started, it felt like a dam had burst. You told Joe everything–their horrible comments, their slurred insults, the throwing of the drink (which really pissed Joe off), and the crude remarks they’d made about you both. Every vile comment they tossed around about you, about your relationship, seemed to sting more as you repeated them. 

Joe stood silently, his face a mixture of pain and anger, but his hand never left yours. As you spoke, you could feel the tremble in your voice, the knot tightening in your chest as you tried to fight back your tears. It was clear that repeating everything was breaking something inside you. You paused for a moment, your voice cracking as you glanced up at him and tried to read his reaction.

It broke Joe’s heart to see you like this, struggling to hold yourself together. His chest tightened as he watched you fight back tears, trying to stay strong while reliving something that clearly hurt you so deeply. Each word you spoke felt like another blow, not just to him, but to you, and it killed him that he hadn’t been there to protect you from it.

“Y/N…I’m so sorry,” he softly said as he pulled you into his arms, your tears threatening to come out from this and the way he rubbed gentle circles around your back. “I’m so-,” he started to say before he got choked up. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he finished. 

“It’s okay, Joe,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you hid your face in his chest. 

“No, it’s not,” he said, his voice laced with anger now that he was realizing what happened. 

The fans. The fans of the sport he plays. They hurt the most important, valuable, and special thing in this world. They hurt you.

Joe could feel the anger boiling under his skin as he fought back the urge to go find these assholes and teach them a few things about what happened when they messed with the love of his life. He was also considering going out and finding the head of security or someone who handled these things and ripping one to them, but once he felt how you were shaking in his arms, he let those thoughts go. He knew you needed him more than you needed to see those assholes’ heads on a platter which is why he kept his anger inside and instead focused on comforting you. 

“I’m gonna see if I can get out of this conference so we can just go home,” Joe said after he pressed a comforting kiss to your head. 

“N- No,” you said as you moved your head from his chest. “I don’t want you to skip out on it because of me,”. 

“But baby-,”.

“Joe, no. Please,” you pleaded as you cupped his cheeks and ran your thumbs along his soft skin. “I’m going to be fine, I promise. You still have a job to do and I don’t want to take you away from that,” you said as you gave him a small smile.

His heart broke as he saw your bloodshot eyes, knowing he was the reason you were in this situation. He felt so guilty, realizing that if it weren’t for his presence in your life those men wouldn’t have said such awful things to you. 

What hurt him even more was knowing he couldn’t be there for you the way you truly needed. He could listen, but it wasn’t enough. He felt helpless, wanting to fix everything but knowing all he could do right now was hold your hand while you tried not to fall apart.

“Are you sure? I don’t fucking care about standing in front of a bunch of reporters who are going to ask me the same exact question 10 different times. I care about you and making sure you’re okay,” he said as he placed his hands on yours and gave them a gentle squeeze before kissing your palm.

You took a deep breath and then looked back into his eyes, seeing deep anger & sadness in them. Although you wanted him to skip and comfort you, you didn’t want to take him away from what he had to do. You never wanted to take him away from football. “Positive. Go do what you have to do, I’m going to be fine. Besides, I should get going for my flight,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.

He took a deep breath as he felt himself being pulled in two different directions. He wanted to stay with you so badly but one, he knew you wouldn’t let him, and two, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to skip the conference. He gave himself a mental slap out of guilt for leaving you before giving you a small nod, “Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” he added as he pulled you back into his embrace. “I love you,” he said as he dropped a kiss on your forehead. 

You pressed a gentle kiss against his neck before tucking your head back into his chest, “I love you too,” you mumbled. The heat of his skin radiated against your cheek, and it only made you feel worse. You knew that the warmth wasn't just physical; it mirrored the anger and frustration building inside him, the emotions he was trying to hold back for you.

“Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” he whispered in your ear before holding you tighter. “Not as long as I’m here,”. 

You took another deep breath as you felt yourself melt away in his arms, wishing for him to never let go because this hug was the only time you felt at ease all day, but you always had the worst luck. 

“I gotta go,” he said softly, pulling away from the hug. The look on your face stopped him for a few seconds–it was a mix of hurt and longing that pulled at his heart. Every instinct in him screamed to pull you back into his arms and never let go, but he forced himself to step away, even though it felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done.

“Okay,” you nodded, looking down at your feet as you took another deep breath and tried to hold back your tears for maybe the 50th time in the past hour.

He used his hand to lift your chin up before cupping your cheek again and pulling you in for another kiss, this one filled with passion & reassurance. As he pulled away, he whispered “Everything’s going to be alright,” against your pink lips. “I promise,”.  

Just before stepping into the conference room, he looked back at you. His heart dropped as he saw you close your eyes and take a deep breath, your hands subtly moving to wipe away the tears you thought you had hidden from him. 

“I hate this fucking city. She doesn’t deserve any of this,” Joe thought to himself as he turned around and walked into the room, the tension in his body palpable as he struggled to keep his cool. 

No one could disrespect you like that and get away with it. Joe wasn’t going to let it happen, even though he knew you didn’t want him to say anything because you wanted to avoid a scene. His protective instinct was stronger than his desire to keep the peace, it was always that way with you.

A half-hour later 

The next half-hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you were back on the plane and heading home. Joe had chartered you and Emma a private plane for your trip home and at first, you were slightly annoyed by his grandness–telling him that you didn’t need all this and that you were just a girl and could go on a normal flight like everyone else–but now had gained a new-found appreciation because you really didn’t want to be around other people right now. This private flight gave you the quietness you so badly needed, or so you thought. 

You changed into something more comfortable, slipping into one of his sweatshirts that still carried his comforting scent, a comfort that helped calm you for the moment. Emma was curled up in the back, taking a power nap while you scrolled through your phone, watching clips from the game. The familiar sounds and sights provided a distraction, even if just for a little while.

You found yourself laughing at a clip of Joe making a funny face on the sidelines, “His football faces are hysterical,” you mumbled to yourself before you saw a notification pop up on your screen.

It was a text from your sister with a link to a tweet. 

your sister: link 🔗 

your sister: what’s going on??

You raised your eyebrow out of confusion before tapping on the link, your eyes widening as you saw the caption of the video that was tweeted. 

“Click here to see a rare statement made by Joe Burrow regarding his personal life and his girlfriend, Y/N,”. 

“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, feeling your stomach churn. A wave of nausea washed over you, tightening your insides and catching you off guard. 

When you clicked on the video, you felt the wave of sadness come back as you saw Joe standing at the podium. He looked tired and worn out, with his face showing how exhausted and defeated he felt. As you watched him, you felt a sense of worry and concern, realizing the seriousness of the situation. 

"How frustrating is this loss, Joe?" a reporter asked him.

You watched him take a deep breath before answering the question, hesitance clear in his body language. “As frustrating as I’ve had,” his words were weighed down by the burden he carried in his heart. “This one stings a bit, we just couldn’t get it done. Felt good about the game plan, I was seeing it well…uhh..you know, just didn’t do enough to get it done,”. 

You had a single tear running down your cheek, showing that the strong emotions you were trying to hold back were breaking through the wall you built. His words painted a picture of pain, a picture of pain you had never seen. He wasn’t acting like his usual self and you had never seen him so low after a loss, and that’s including the Super Bowl. Was this because of you? Or was this because of the game?

Whatever it was, you could tell he was hurting. He was hurting badly.

“Where do you go from here? 0-2 isn’t unfamiliar territory for you, but where does Joe Burrow go from here? How are you feeling? What is the level of urgency?” another reporter asked him, Joe’s eyes dropping down to the side as he avoided looking into the reporter’s eyes.

“I need to give him a hug,” you thought to yourself as you let out a soft sob. You just wanted to take all of his pain away, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feel like he let anyone down like this loss was all on him. He didn’t deserve to hurt like this. 

“Uhh,” he nervously mumbled. “I still feel good, you know…There’s a lot of work to be done, a lot of things to fix,” he sighed as he looked down for a few seconds. “The urgency is very high. We just need to go out and get a win. We have to do better, I…I have to do better,” he added, his shaky voice breaking your heart. His voice cracked on the last part, a sound you hadn’t heard from him before. It was subtle, but enough to break your heart. The vulnerability was right there just beneath the surface like he was walking on the fine line between keeping it together and falling apart. His eyes shimmered in the bright lights of the room–though no tears fell–and for a second, you thought he might break, but he held it in. 

What you saw was the kind of pain that came from someone who felt like they were carrying the world on their shoulders and didn’t know how much longer they could keep standing.

The clip then cut to the end of his press conference. Usually, he’d glance around the room before saying, “Thanks guys” and walking off the podium, but this time he didn’t exactly do that. He did his normal look around the room, but instead of walking off, he spoke up again. 

“Before I go, I just wanted to say something and I know this is very uncharacteristic of me but this is the only way I could think of getting this across,” he said as he looked around the room for nods of approval, which he got. 

He couldn’t keep it in, he had to say something. 

“I know I usually don’t talk about my private life or my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said as his eyes drooped to the floor but quickly moved back up. “And I do that to protect her and a part of my life that I keep very close to my heart, but silence can only protect things for so long. She’s been to every single one of my games for the past 5 years and not once has she ever felt scared, harassed, and disrespected–but she did tonight and I couldn’t do anything to help her.

So that’s why I need to say this,” he continued, his voice becoming stronger and more determined. “If you have something to say about me, my career, my life–literally anything,” he paused, gripping the podium even tighter as if it were the only thing keeping his emotions in check. “Say it to my face.”

There was fierceness in his tone now, a protective edge that cut through the room. “Y/N didn’t sign up for this life. I did,” he said, his voice stable and full of confidence. His eyes scanned the crowd, daring anyone to say anything to him. 

“The awful things that were said to her this evening are things I would have never thought would be said to her, but here we are,” he sighed. “And I know you all are probably confused as to what I’m talking about, but there are people out there who know exactly what I’m talking about and that’s what matters. In all the years that she’s been with me, not once has she ever been in this position before, and the fact that this happened here? Tonight?” he added while shaking his head, his piercing eyes now filled with fire. 

“She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this just because she supports me. So from now on, if anyone has something to say, leave her out of it. The fans tonight…they should be ashamed of themselves for harassing a girl that they don’t even know. That’s not going to earn you any brownie points with anyone. It’s just downright disgusting, pathetic, and embarrassing. This woman has been by my side through thick and thin, through every single up and down since my first year at LSU. She knows me better than anyone does, and she’s the single most important thing to me—even more important than football. She’s my support system, my best friend, home in human form, my person,” his eyes darken, anger and protectiveness mixing together. 

“Nobody has the right to make her feel unwelcomed because she’s my girlfriend. Nobody has the right to pass any lewd comments about her. Nobody has the right to say anything about our private relationship. If I ever hear anyone say a single thing about her, I’m not going to just brush it off,” he said, his words as sharp as the look in his eyes. “I protect the things I love which means I will protect her no matter what. Call me out, insult me, trash my name all you want. But I draw the line at Y/N. If you have anything to say, say it to my fucking face. Leave her alone,” he said before pausing for a few seconds. He held the silence that followed for a few more seconds, the severity of what he was saying took everyone by surprise because they had never seen Joe like this. The looks on all their faces told him that they heard him loud and clear even though none of this was directed at them. Then, with a last look at the room, he pushes away from the podium, his broad shoulders tense and stiff from anger, and walks off without another word.

“Oh my god,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears that were rapidly sliding down your cheeks. “Oh my god,”.

You couldn’t believe he actually said something, and he said it so publicly. 

Joe was never one to speak so candidly about his personal life, especially when it came to you. He was always careful, intentionally private, keeping the most intimate parts of his world hidden away from the scrutiny of the outside. It wasn’t that he didn’t want people to know how much he cared about you–if anything, it was the opposite. He knew all too well the potential effects of letting everything out in the open; the extreme opinions, the relentless criticism, the intrusion into your lives that could come crashing down if he let his guard down for even a moment.

He always tried to shield you from that. His love wasn’t about grand displays or public statements; it was in the quiet moments, the gentle looks, and the way he held your hand just a little tighter when the world around him was too loud. He kept you out of the spotlight as much as he could, not because he was ashamed, but because he wanted to protect you from the ugly side of his world–the part that didn’t care about your feelings or boundaries. 

But even Joe knew that silence could only go so far. Eventually, its weight would press down, creating a wall between you and the life he lived every day. And tonight, when you felt disrespected and harassed just for being there for him, it broke the carefully kept distance he’d worked so hard to build.

So now that he had actually said something, you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You were a lowkey kind of girlfriend; the majority of fans knew you were dating Joe but you were never the kind of girlfriend to flaunt that you had the most desired NFL player wrapped around your finger. What he just did…what he just said put the spotlight on you and you were terrified that this would do more harm than good. Especially for him. 

But you knew that this was Joe. 

Your Joe.

You knew how much he tried to keep this part of his life away from the public eye and the fact that he went out and said something was enough to tell you that he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. He wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you, he meant what he said. 

Nothing was going to hurt you as long as he was with you. 

An hour or so later 

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Emma said to you as she pulled you in for a hug, swaying you back and forth on the doorstep of your home. 

“Are you sure you can’t stay until tomorrow?” you asked as you pulled away from the hug.

“I wish I could but you know I have that meeting in the morning,” she pouted as she picked up her bag. 

“Right,” you nodded. “Get some sleep on the flight, okay? It’ll be pretty late by the time you get back home and you need to be fresh tomorrow for your big meeting,” you added.

“You need to get some sleep too, Y/N,” she said while patting your back. “I know Joe is only an hour or so behind you, but you should get some sleep. Today was rough,”. 

You wished you could get some sleep, but your mind was moving at the speed of light right now so sleep was completely out of the question. You were wide awake. “I’ll try,” you lied with a faint smile. You knew Joe would be wide awake too, his brain was probably moving faster than the speed of light and you could just picture him staring out of the plane window, jaw clenched and eyes focused as he thought about everything over and over. He’d go through the motions of what went wrong, then run through it again and try to find ways he could’ve fixed it–even though the game was longgggg over.

But that was just Joe. This was a part of his process and there wasn’t much you could do other than be there for him whenever he got out of his head and needed someone to talk to.

“Don’t worry too much,” she added with a sincere smile. “Everything will be fine as long as you have Joe with you,” she said, her words matching exactly what Joe said to you earlier and what he showed during his press conference. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “I know,”.

She was right though, it would be fine as long as he was by your side. You needed to keep reminding yourself that he wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt you. 

—

After finishing up your conversation with Emma, you walked her to her waiting Uber and exchanged one last goodbye before watching the car pull away. As you came back into the house, you sank down onto a barstool at the kitchen island, your mind swirling with a mix of emotions and thoughts that needed sorting.

You thought that Joe would most likely be in a mood once he got home since he had all the time on the plane to drive himself insane by reliving the game over and over. You hoped his mood would be slightly better than how it was last week after the game, not knowing if you had it in you to deal with everything if he came home with the same mindset and attitude as last week.

Add the fan situation to the mix and then you had the perfect recipe for a ‘stand-off angry Joe’ who would blame himself for absolutely everything and push you away while he self-destructed. You knew he would blame himself for the drunk idiots and their disgusting words towards you even though it was far from his fault, and you knew that it wouldn’t be easy to get him to move past it. You just couldn’t have him shut you out again, you needed him to talk to you more than anything this time. 

You shook your head, “Stop, Y/N. He said he’d talk to me once he got home and he meant that. He knows that he can’t put himself in that situation again and shut himself down. I don’t need to worry,” reminding yourself of what he said to you earlier and the week before. “If he happens to be in a mood then I just need to do something to stop him from being in a mood. He’ll open up to me on his own terms, I can’t push him too hard,” you nodded as you looked up. 

You wanted to talk to him about everything more than anything, wanted to pick at his brain and allow him to open up to you, but you knew better than to push him too hard. He hated being cornered, but you also couldn’t let him hide under his shell. Easing him into it and allowing him to naturally come to you is what you needed him to do. If he came back in a mood, you knew you’d need something to act as a buffer, something to soak up the weight of his emotions before they pulled him back to the edge like last time. You needed to do something to ease his tension while distracting him for a little bit before he started to unpack the weight of his emotions onto you. 

Your eyes moved to the TV, putting on one of his favorite movies would work, right?

“No, he’d just zone out and think about the game,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped off the barstool. 

Your eyes then moved to the couch, cuddling would work, right?

“Mm, Mm,” you shook your head. “Quiet time and cuddling would let the voices in his head get louder,”. 

Your eyes moved toward the kitchen, and suddenly an idea sparked as your eyes landed on the small orange pumpkin decoration you’d placed by the knives–an early start on your fall decorating. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the solution hit you. "Pumpkin pie," you whispered to yourself, a grin rising on your face. "Obviously."

Pumpkin Pie was more than just a dessert for Joe; it was more of a feeling of comfort or a reminder that even when everything felt like it was crumbling, there would still be little joys to be found in the little things. You could never get sick of the childlike smile on his adorable face when he gets the first whiff of cinnamon and nutmeg. You wanted to see him that happy all the time, and you were determined to make that happen. 

“Hopefully that’ll work if he comes back acting like The Hulk,” you giggled as you walked into the pantry and started gathering all the ingredients you’d need to make his favorite dessert. This was a great distraction (for the time being) for him because it would let him drift away from football for a little bit. This was a great distraction for him and an even better distraction for you, even if you didn’t want to admit it. Deep down, you were still shaken up over everything that happened at the game, and sitting in this big, empty house with nothing but your thoughts for company? You knew exactly where that would lead. You had just as much of a tendency to spiral as Joe did, maybe even more than him sometimes. 

You might not have realized that by focusing so much on his emotions, you were ignoring your own. You were used to being the calm and steady support for him, but it took a toll on you. Comforting him and worrying about his stress made you bury your own feelings, convincing yourself that they didn't matter as much as his.

By concentrating on him, you could avoid dealing with your own feelings, which is exactly what you’re doing right now. But eventually, everything you were holding back would catch up with you. For now, it was easier to pretend that baking this pie is enough, that it's the solution to both your problems.

—

The hour passed by pretty quickly as you worked on the Pie for Joe. You found yourself forgetting about the game as you bounced around the kitchen while you made the sweet dessert for him. Baking was often a big stress reliever for you and you always found yourself letting loose while accidentally covering yourself in loads of flour and sugar. You loved to bake and Joe loved to eat what you baked, it was the perfect dynamic. 

You had placed the Pie in the oven not too long ago and were now cleaning up, the TV in the background however had quickly snapped you out of your playful daze. 

The channel on the TV was showing an analysis of the game and your ears couldn’t help but perk up every time they mentioned Joe. They were showing constant replays of all the moments Joe was frustrated during the game, on the field, and on the sidelines. They were talking about how the Bengals should have won this game and how Joe outperformed Patrick. They were saying that this loss would for sure put a dent into the team’s confidence going forward, even going as far as talking about how their playoff odds were rapidly decreasing as well.

“A bunch of fucking idiots,” you mumbled under your breath as you stared up at the TV, your eyes welling with tears yet again without you even realizing it. How could they count them out so early? How could they count out Joe so early?

Then the TV showed a clip from his post-game press conference which really did it for you because you had to hear him mention the events from earlier that you were trying so hard to ignore. 

“It was just not a good day overall for Joe. He didn’t play as well as he usually does, even made some terrible mistakes that were very unlike him to do…and his post-game conference showed a side of him none of us have ever seen. He seems distracted, unlike how he usually is out on the field. Was last year the last time we saw that ‘Elite QB’ that he claims he is? Is there a bigger issue than the team’s unpreparedness that is affecting his game? Is his personal life burdening him and serving as a distraction?” the analyst said. 

You knew how intense his life was, and how demanding football could be. You had always tried to make things easier for him. But what if in trying to be supportive, you were unknowingly adding to the pressure? 

Was his personal life burdening him? Were you burdening him?

“Why does this always have to happen to him?” you sobbed, the words coming out before you could stop them. It was like the emotional dam you had built had just burst and all the feelings you’d held back for hours–maybe even longer–were rushing out. Your floury hands gripped the counter as your tears fell down and mixed with the sprinkled flour all around the marble top. 

You couldn’t keep it in anymore. The pressure, the criticism Joe was under, it was all so suffocating. Every time he had a bad game or a few bad moments, it was like the world turned against him. People couldn’t wait for him to slip up just so they could tear him down. 

“He works s- so hard, they just don’t get it,” you cried as you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “He’s trying so hard, they don’t see how much pressure he puts on himself,”. 

But this wasn’t just about him, it was about you too. The pressure you put on yourself for always being the strong one, being strong for him, was suffocating. You were tired of acting like it didn’t hurt; the comments and the criticism not only about him but about you too. 

“Is it my fault? Am I pushing him too much? When I tell him how great he is and remind him of all the amazing shit he’s done, is that making him feel too pressured to be that guy again?” you sniffled. 

You were starting to blame yourself for everything, which is the last thing you should have been doing. This was far from your fault, but your brain was so clouded by negativity and the lingering words of those drunk men for you to be able to think clearly. All you could see was everything you said to him that could have made him lose his focus and cause all this. You couldn’t see that this was all because of everything else around him—the media, the outside noise. 

“And I shouldn’t have told him about what ha- happened at the suite,” you said as your sobs got louder. “He’s not focused because of me. It’s my fault,” you cried, your breaths getting shorter and shorter as your heart started racing. 

Before you think about anything else, you hear the buzzing sound of the garage opening fill your ears. 

Joe was home. 

“Fuck,” you quickly wiped your tears and switched the TV to a different channel before he came in. He didn’t need to see you like this, especially since you thought that him seeing you like this was the root cause of all of this. You were supposed to be strong, so you needed to act like it. His support system crumbling wasn’t what he needed right now because who would be there for him when he needed someone? 

You heard the door open behind you and quickly fixed your face before you turned around to see him, and what you saw broke your heart again. You immediately noticed the bags under his eyes, the defeated look on his face, and his miserable body language. 

You patted your floury hands on your sweatpants before walking over to him, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt him relax against you before you placed a hand around the nape of his neck and pushed his head into the crook of your neck. “Hey,” he whispered against you as you started threading your fingers through his hair. 

“Hi,” you whispered as you placed a kiss on his warm cheek, feeling him let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it in for a while. 

“I missed you,” he said while slightly shifting his head to look at you, an adorable boyish pout on his face. 

“I know,” you smiled at him while leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too,”. 

He leaned down to your neck, “Was your flight okay?” he asked you as he peppered it with slow, soft kisses, his gentle touches slowly relieving the tension you had inside of you. 

“Yeah,” you lied, not mentioning how most of it was spent thinking about everything he said in his post-game press conference. “Was your flight okay?” you asked him.

“It was alright,” he sighed. “I didn’t get much sleep so I just killed time by staring out the window or reading that book you got me,” he said. 

“Wait, are you tired?” you asked as you let go of him; thinking that he’d be wide awake was a mistake. Why would he be wide awake? He had a rough game and even rougher post-game, he was probably so tired. 

“No, No,” he shook his head, his hands settling on either side of your hips and preventing you from moving too far away from him. “I’m wide awake but I tried to sleep on the plane just to pass the time. Obviously, that didn’t work though,” he softly laughed, his nose wiggling a few seconds later. “What smells good?” he asked, that childlike smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he caught a whiff of the cinnamon and nutmeg. 

You let out a small giggle before leaning up to press another kiss to his lips, “Pumpkin Pie,” you said a few seconds later, now feeling his hands wrap around your torso. 

“For me?” he asked while raising an eyebrow, a playful smirk rising on his lips. His hand slipped under your shirt, the warmth of his hand radiating through your skin and sending waves of comfort throughout your body. It was as if his touch had the power to quiet every worry in your mind and body, grounding you in a way he didn’t even realize. 

You let out a dramatic sigh, “Nah, it’s for my other 6’3 quarterback boyfriend. He should be coming around in a few minutes,” you teased. 

“Ha. Ha,” he laughed monotonously before continuing, “The only 6’3 quarterback boyfriend you need is already here. Thanks, baby,” he smiled a few seconds later as he pulled you even closer and pulled you up for a kiss. This one was a bit spicier than the others as his lips were instantly tugging on your bottom lip while he casually slipped his tongue into your mouth, earning a soft but sultry moan from you. His laugh vibrated through his chest and into the kiss, a shift in his energy fully visible. It was playful but with an edge. 

“Mmm,” you hummed as you placed your hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. “As much as I would love to keep that going, you’ve got a sweet treat to eat,” you winked.

“Oh,” he said while raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let’s go upstairs then,” he smirked while grabbing your hand and jokingly pulling you towards the stairs. 

“Joeee,” you said while pulling him back. “Not that kind of sweet treat,” you added which you received a pouty look from him in return. “...Okaaaaay, maybe later?”. 

Normally he’d respond with another flirty comment but when he stared into your eyes a little more carefully and noticed how red and puffy they were, all playfulness left his body as all he could think about was the fact that you had likely been crying, likely because of him and he knew that. 

“Y/N…” he began to say before you interrupted him. 

“Come sit down, I’ll pull the Pie out and cut you a slice,” you smiled while grabbing his hand and leading him back over to the kitchen island, not giving him a second to say anything. Even when you were clearly upset, you still were only thinking about him. 

“I don’t deserve her,” he thought to himself as he watched you plaster a smile on your face and focus on him and only him. “I don’t deserve her at all. I feel so guilty for everything that happened to her, especially because it’s all my fault, and she’s still only thinking about me? ”. 

You oftentimes did this, focusing on Joe and only him while ignoring everything else around you. He was the center of your universe and everything else around you faded into the background. This habit of yours formed early on in your relationship back at LSU. Then, it was all about supporting him through his tiring practices, stressful exams, and important games. You devoted yourself to making sure he felt loved, understood, and cared for while he tried to make his mark on the field. 

And now, even after all these years, your habit still hasn’t changed.

Joe saw it every time, the way you focused on him, how you gave him every ounce of your attention all the time. He didn’t say much about it, but you knew he noticed. The look in his eyes would always soften, as if he both loved and hated the fact that you put him first. 

It had been like that through the whirlwind of college football, and now in the glimmer of the NFL spotlight. You were always by his side, pouring all of your energy into him and sometimes leaving none for yourself. He knew you like the back of his hand so he could tell when you were giving more than you could handle. He appreciated you so much, you were his anchor but he worried about you–worried that you carried too much of his weight without letting yourself be vulnerable too. 

Even tonight, when you should’ve been taking care of yourself, you were focused on him–it was always him. It had been this way for so long, and while he knew you’d never stop looking out for him, he hoped that you’d let him do the same for you on the same level you did for him. As much as he needed you, he also knew that you needed him just as much, even if you didn’t always admit it. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he said again, this time out loud as he slipped onto a barstool and rested his chin on his hand. 

“Great question. You must have done some severe manifestation to bag me,” you teased as you spun around to take out a plate from the cabinet. 

Joe let out a soft chuckle, “Severe manifestation, stalking your Insta for about 2 weeks to see if you had a guy already before asking you out, memorizing your class schedule and your favorite lunch spots so I could ‘accidentally’ run into you…it’s all the same,” but stopped once he saw you take only one plate out from the cabinet. “You’re not eating?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Not hungry,” you said while flashing him the fakest smile possible as you placed the plate down in front of him before turning around to pull the Pie out of the oven. Who were you kidding? You were so hungry to the point where you could legit eat one of those fake display fruits people put out. The only thing you’d had to eat today was a bottle of orange juice and a few bites of a banana muffin this morning—other than the Vodka Cran you had during the game. You just didn’t think you could stomach anything during or after the game because your stomach was in literal knots. 

You hoped that he didn’t realize you were lying to him but one thing about Joe was that he could always tell when you were lying to him. He paid extra attention to the little things about you–the sudden lightness in your voice, avoiding eye contact with him, and the oh-so-obvious fake smile. He hated when he noticed these signs because that meant you weren’t being truthful with him for whatever reason. 

Without saying a word, he got up from his chair and walked around the island to the kitchen cabinets. You saw him moving out of the corner of your eye just as you were closing the oven and carefully placing the warm pumpkin pie on the counter.

“What?” he asked you, noticing that you were staring at him as he pulled out another plate and set it on the island next to his. 

“Why’d you take out another one?” you asked him before you moved the Pie plate over to the island and set it near the dinner plates. Joe let out a soft laugh, the adorable crinkles in the corner of his eyes popping out as placed a gentle hand on both sides of your shoulders from behind and walked you back over to the island barstools.

“For you, silly,” he chuckled in your ear, then pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before walking back to the kitchen.

“But I’m not hungry,” you said as your eyes followed him around the kitchen, watching him take out a knife and a can of whipped cream from the fridge. 

“Look at who you’re talking to,” he smiled as he began cutting a slice of Pie. I know you like the back of my hand, Y/N. I know you haven’t eaten anything all day because I know you never eat before or during a game because you want to wait so you can eat with me. Also, you feel like if you eat something you’re going to throw it up during halftime because of your nerves,”. 

Your eyes softened as you watched him set a slice on your plate, and then use the whipped cream to add a small heart on top. 

He knew you and your habits all too well. You shouldn’t be surprised though, this was Joe. He noted and noticed everything about you and had been doing it since the day you first met. It first started off as him noting how you liked your morning coffees before classes (so he could show up at your dorm with it and have an excuse to walk you to class) and noticing how you’d start fidgeting with the birthstone ring on your right hand whenever you felt anxious in crowded public settings (parties, at his practices, his games). Whenever he saw you doing that, he made sure to stop whatever he was doing and tend to your needs–doing whatever you needed him to do without questioning it.

Now, it had led to him noting how you liked your morning protein smoothies (so he could make them for you, obviously) before you went in for your morning workout in the gym he had designed for the both of you in your shared home. And then it was noticing all your little habits, such as fidgeting with the birthstone necklace he gave you—which had his birthstone on it—whenever you felt anxious now. 

Reminding yourself of how beautifully things had changed and flourished in your relationship, how Joe so easily flipped your entire world upside down by just looking into your eyes one hot afternoon during a football practice you and your friends stumbled into, always brought a smile to your face. Even in moments when you were far from happy.

That was just the Joe effect.  

You watched as he set a slice on his plate, then added whipped cream to his before placing everything down and joining you on the other side of the island. He sat down on his stool and turned to look at you and saw that you were too far from him, which he wasn’t having for even a second. 

“Mm Mm, too far,” he shook his head as he grabbed the beam of your stool and pulled you over, a small shriek leaving your lips at how he easily pulled you over as if he was pulling a feather over. 

Your knees were pretty much bumping into each other, that’s just how close he pulled you over. It was such a small gesture, but the significance was far more deeper. He wanted you close in every single way possible. 

“My big strong man,” you giggled as you placed a hand on his knee, giving it a soft squeeze and then starting to rub it through his sweatpants’ fabric. He leaned over and started peppering featherlight kisses around your jawline and down to your neck, his lips so soft and plush-like. “But I really don’t think I can stomach the Pie regardless of how good it probably is,” you laughed. 

Joe leaned back to stare into your eyes, the redness in them mocking him and his efforts to make you feel better. It was a reminder of how well you hid your feelings from him, something you both had in common. You both would hide your feelings from each other in order to protect each other. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you up in his arms and take away the hurt that hid behind those beautiful, tear-stained eyes, but this was all he could do for you right now without pushing you too much. 

“Please? For me?” he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and placing his hand over yours which was rubbing his knee. He cupped your hand and flipped it so he could intertwine your fingers, then picked it up and pressed gentle kisses on the back of your hand while staring into your eyes. Both actions cause a feeling of comforting warmth to fill your stomach. 

You really didn’t feel like eating anything, but you did all this to take his mind off the game and lighten his mood, and not doing what he asked wasn’t going to help at all. The pouty look on his face was your biggest weakness so that wasn’t helping either, you could never say no to that adorable face. “Okayyy,” you giggled, giving in to his ask and then seeing his entire body light up when you grabbed the fork. 

“That’s my girl,” he smiled as his baby blue eyes lit up with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. He then leaned in and pressed another soft kiss to your cheek, the gentle touch lingering long enough for your belly to flutter. 

He then picked up his fork and dug into the pie, taking a big, generous first bite. His face went from playful to pure bliss at the first taste of the cinnamon and pumpkin. “Oh, babyyyy,” he groaned, closing his eyes for a second as he savored the taste. “This is so fucking good,”. 

“That sounds all too familiar,” you smirked while raising an eyebrow at the sounds and words that left his mouth. 

“Dirty dirty mind,” he shook his head and laughed while chewing on the pie in his mouth. 

You smiled as you watched him take more bites of the pie, feeling a bit better because of his reaction. The tension in your body, for a second, seemed to fizzle out as you watched him enjoy what you did for him. The warmth of the kitchen, smell of the fresh pie, and the soft sounds of the TV in the background made everything feel normal again–like a safe space where you both could just be yourselves. 

He took another bite, his eyes darting over to you as you continued to stare at him with hearteyes, “I’m serious, you’ve outdone yourself,” he said, his voice muffled with a mouthful of pie. “Don’t know what I’d do without you..or this pie,” he winked. 

“I love you,” you blushed as you leaned over and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek.

“I love you more, but,” he said as he swallowed the bite in his mouth, “You’re still not eating,”. 

You looked down and saw the fork in your hand and the untouched pie next to you, realizing you were so caught up in watching him that you hadn’t had any of the pie yourself. 

“Oops,” you said while pursing your lips and staring down at the dessert. 

Joe used his fork and stuck it into your pie, slicing a generous piece out before using his other hand to lift your chin. “Open up,” he said, raising his eyebrows and holding the fork in front of your mouth.

You laughed softly, “Seriously?”. The look in his charming eyes told you that he was 100% serious. 

“Come on, you’ve gotta eat something,” he insisted, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine sincerity. He moved the fork closer, allowing the sweet smell of pumpkin to enter your nose while he rested his other hand on your knee this time, squeezing and rubbing just like you were doing to his knee. 

You rolled your eyes before leaning in and opening your mouth to take a bite, the moment the pie touched your tongue you felt the warmth and sweetness explode in your mouth. Man, were you good at baking. 

Joe attentively watched your reaction as you chewed on the slice of pie, a look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you swallow the bite. “See? Isn’t that good?” he asked. 

You nodded, not being able to hide the smile rising on your face. “Yeah, you were right,” you giggled, the spices lingering on your tongue. “That’s soooooooooo good. But I think it tasted even better because you were feeding me,” you winked.

“Well, there’s more cominggggg,” he grinned as he stuck his fork in your pie again and picked up another bite before bringing it up to your mouth. “Woooosh,” the noise coming from his mouth mimicking a rocket ship as he zig-zagged his hand around. 

You smiled and stared at him for a few seconds, your heart swelling at the look in his eyes. It was a look of comfort, of relaxation. Last week, the look in his eyes was cold, it was tense. But this time, it was just filled with ease and love and it was all because of you. 

“Aaaaah,” you said as you opened your mouth for another bite of the delicious pie being fed to you by your favorite person on the planet. 

—

After letting him feed you the rest of your pie, he gathered your dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink before coming back to his barstool and sitting down next to you again. He leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet kiss, the taste of pumpkin on both your lips making it even sweeter than usual. 

“Mmm, that tasted good,” you hummed as you playfully bumped his knee with yours. You were expecting a flirtatious response from him, somehow roping in the concept of sex into the conversation because he seemed to be in that mood earlier, but instead, he just stayed quiet while staring down at the counter. 

“Uh, oh,” you thought to yourself, your hips squirming in your seat at the sudden change in the atmosphere. It felt as if the room got darker, maybe even colder–just like the inside of Joe’s brain. You brought your hand up and started rubbing his back, “You okay?” you asked, nervously biting your lip because of the look on his face. 

“Yeah, just thinking,” he sighed, placing his hand on your knee again. 

“Thinking about anything in particular?” you said while giving him a heartfelt smile. 

He took a deep breath before responding, “Talk to her, Joe. Don’t push her away again,” he thought to himself. “…D- do you think we can talk about it? About the game?” he quietly asked you, meeting your eyes a few seconds after saying that. 

Joe tried to forget about it, and he did for about half an hour because of you and the pie you made for him. But he knew better than to keep everything in like that, knowing what would happen if all that stayed inside of him and built up. He refused to go back there, especially after getting a flashback of what that felt like last week. 

The sudden change in his voice, his eyes, and his body language threw you for a loop. You thought this would distract him for a bit longer, but it didn’t.

But wait. Why did you want to distract him for longer? You wanted him to open up to you, confide in you. So why did you want him to not think about the game?

Was it because you were the one who didn’t want to talk about it? You didn’t want to unpack those feelings, not his, but your own?

“No. He needs me right now. I can’t let my feelings get in the way,” you thought to yourself, “Be strong for him, Y/N. Stop being selfish.”

“Y- yeah,” you nodded. “What’s going on in your head?” you asked as you slid your hand up to his hair, threading the strands through your fingers while lightly scratching his scalp. 

“I’m just so frustrated, Y/N,” he sighed. “We were supposed to win, we were going to win,”.

“I know,” you said, letting out a shaky breath as your body braced itself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

“And I played like total shit. That fumble just gifted them 6 extra points and if I didn’t lose the ball like a fucking idiot, we would have likely won the game,” he said as his eyes welled with tears. “And we’re right back where we were. 0-2 as fucking usual and it’s my fault,” he sniffled. 

“It’s not your fault, Joey,” you frowned. “The whole team could have done better, especially the defense. You did so good, much better than last week,”.

“Not good enough,” he said, his voice laced with self-criticism. “It wasn’t good enough…I wasn’t good enough. I try so hard, you know? I do everything I’m supposed to, even more, 90% of the time. But things..they..they never go my way,” he added, the crack in his voice breaking your heart for the millionth time today. 

“I know, Joe. Trust me, I know,” you said as you lowered your head to catch his eyes. “But you can’t be this hard on yourself, you know that right?”.

“The flags, the Ja’marr thing, the stupid fucking mistakes. It all just went to shit so fucking fast,” he said as he turned to meet your eyes, ignoring what you said. “And our playoff odds keep decreasing which makes this even worse. If we go 0-3, I don’t think-,”.

“Joe, stop,” you said while moving your hand to cup his cheek. “You’re doing it again,”.

“I just…I can’t help it? I just feel like I let everyone down again,” he started to say and quickly kept going once he saw you start to open your mouth to say something. “And I know. I know what you told me last week, I heard you loud and clear. I thought I could go out and get it done this week and I acted like it too. During practice, in the press conference, over the phone to you, in the locker room to the guys–but once again I fucked up, and look at what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as you saw his bottom lip start to quiver. “I k- know why we lost but I do- don’t at the same time?” he choked out, a single tear falling from his eye and sliding down his cheek. “I did everything I could and I still feel like I’m letting everyone down,” he repeated, his breaths getting shorter. “Especially you,” he whispered. 

You felt your eyes pool with tears, your emotions threatening to spill out as you stared at him. Seeing him like this, weak and questioning himself, was the one thing that could break you into a thousand pieces. He was so confident and strong in the face of adversity but in these quiet moments, those voices in his head were the loudest and he couldn’t help it. The doubts crept in and he started to undermine his success, and that shattered you. 

Watching him struggle with his confidence cut deeper than any of your own insecurities. You knew how much he gave to football, how much he sacrificed for this, how much he loved what he did. It crushed you to see him struggle like this and for a second think that he was letting anyone down. To you, Joe was more than enough–on and off the field–and seeing him question that was making you feel an unbearable amount of pain. 

“Joe,” you whispered, your voice shaky just like his. “You’re not letting anyone down. Especially me, I swear. You don’t see yourself the way I do,”. 

You saw his glossy eyes soften, searching yours for any sort of comfort and relief but as he gazed into your eyes, you knew he could see the emotions you were holding back. The mix of fear and love, concern and support. His vulnerability mirrored your own, and that made this hurt even more.

“I know you feel like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders and it feels like those shoulders are wobbly right now,” you nodded, feeling the tension–the burden of everything he carries both on and off the field radiate through his eyes. “But I promise you, Joe,” you whispered. “You’re strong enough to handle all of this. Even when it feels like too much, even when you doubt yourself. You’ve shown how strong and capable you are time and time again and everyone knows how talented you are. Don’t let one game define a legendary, history-making career, Joe. Don’t let yourself forget who you are. You have all of this because of your talent, your success, and your abilities. You’re the kid from small-town Athens, the third-stringer from Ohio State, the star quarterback of the LSU Tigers, and the franchise quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals. But most importantly, you’re one of the best to ever step onto that field and hold onto that football. Don’t forget who that kid is, who that boy is, who that man is, and who that player is. I know it feels like you’ve been hitting wall after wall every season, feeling like you’re losing something each time you get onto the field but everything you lose is a step you take,” you said. “You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you revise and get better each time. That’s what you do, Joe,”. 

“Don’t feel pressured to do everything on your own. You don’t need to blame yourself for the loss, you don’t need to blame yourself for the slow start. You don’t have to do this alone,” you continued, your voice raw but completely reassuring. “Everyone’s here with you, Joe. I’m here with you. We’ll carry the weight together, okay?”.

“No.” he shook his head. “You don’t…you won’t do that,” he said, his voice rougher but still laced with a tone that made you want to never stop crying. “I don’t want you in any situation like that, not after what happened today,”. 

You felt your stomach churn at the mention of today’s events. You really didn’t want to go there, but you knew you had no choice. Majority of the reason Joe was upset was because of what you had to deal with during the game. Yeah, he was frustrated about the loss, but the way you were treated made it so much more worse because that was a direct hit to his heart. “Joe, I-,” you began to say before you heard a soft sob come from in front of you.

“I’m s- so sorry, Y/N,” he said as he looked back into your eyes, his tears now fully streaming down his face. “I’m so fucking sorry that you have to deal with all of my shit. And year by year it just keeps getting worse for you and I can’t do anything to stop it. When I first started off in the league, your only worries were if I was able to go out there and throw the ball and have a chance to show everyone what I was capable of. N- now, you have to constantly worry about my in- injuries and what people say about m- me,” he sobbed, his tears falling faster and his body starting to shake. 

You quickly reached out for him, placing your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him over so that he was laying his head on your chest. “Joe, baby,” you whispered, cradling his head as you tried to keep your tears at bay. 

“Y- you had to pick up so much slack every time I g- got hurt,” he cried into your chest as you threaded your fingers through his hair. “You did so much for me that nobody ever saw, nobody will ever see. And they treat you like that? Because they fucking hate m- me?”.

“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, Joe,” you calmly said to him as you leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. “I’m fine, I swear,” you sniffled, holding back your tears as best as you could.

“N- no,” he continued, “You’re not. I knew you were crying b- before I got home. It was because of me, right? Because of what I said in the press conference?” he asked, looking up at you through his wet, glossy eyes.

Your eyebrows softened, and before you could even find the right words, your eyes said everything for you.

“I knew it,” he continued as he hid his face in your chest again, your shirt fully soaked from his tears. 

“J- Joe…,” you trembled, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Stay strong, Y/N. He needs his support system right now,” you thought to yourself. “Please stop crying, baby. Please? You don’t need to apologize for a single thing,” you continued with a more stable voice. “I know you’re trying to protect me,”. 

“Yes, I do," Joe choked out. "Because now you have to worry about getting insulted and harassed by random fans who have some vendetta against me, but think it’s okay to take it out on y- you." His voice broke, and you could see the guilt flooding his eyes. "You’re the only person who’s truly stuck by my side through everything. You do so much for me, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that but you are, because of me. You had the most awful things said to you and it was all my fucking fault. It was my fault you were crying. It was my fault you couldn’t enjoy the game. It was my fault that earlier after the game, you felt like you had to hide this from me,".

He took a shaky breath, the weight of his words hitting him harder as he continued. "You can’t even go to a fucking game without getting hurt because of me," his shoulders trembled slightly. "I- I’m always hurting you, aren’t I?" he wept, those last four words coming out in a broken whisper as if they physically pained him to say. His grip on you tightened as if you were the only thing holding him together and preventing him from crumbling into a pile of dust.

Hearing him say those words ripped you apart. He was hurting, and it shattered you to think that he saw himself as the cause of your pain. 

“Joe,” you said as you tightened your embrace around him, “You’re not hurting me,” you added as you gently cupped his face with one hand. “You’re not,”.

“You’ve never hurt me, Joe. Not once,” you said as you wiped away the tears that were freely falling down his face. “What those people say, what they do–it’s not your fault. None of that is in your control and it doesn’t, for a second, change how much I care for you. How much I care for this world you’ve built for us,” you blinked your tears away and added. 

Joe shook his head, refusing to accept your words, but you continued on regardless. “You mean everything to me and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. You’ve never once hurt me in the 5 years we’ve been together. You’ve never given me a reason to think about running for the hills, never given me a reason to ever think about what my life would be like without you. You’ve showered me with so much love, so much happiness that I never thought was possible. You are perfect, Joe. In every aspect. It’s going to take a lot more than just some idiotic, insecure, flawed football bros to get to me and leave your side. Hell, the entirety of Kansas City isn’t even enough to pull me away from you,” you said as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Please stop blaming yourself for what other people do. It’s not your fault that the team lost this game and it’s not your fault that some men in this world just have small-dick energy all the time,” the last bit of what you said lighthearted on purpose. 

You notice a small, brief smile begin to form on his face after you finish talking. It was faint, but it was there. Seeing that smile, even just a glimpse of it, filled your chest with relief. Your words had reached him, if only a little. “I love you, Joe. I love you no matter what,” you said while resting your chin on his head and holding him close to your heart as you felt him start to loosen up. 

“I- I love you too,” he whispered against your chest, pushing himself deeper into your embrace and wishing he could just melt into your body and forget about all his worries. 

In that moment, you could feel how much he needed this–how much he needed you. 

Your words and your touch were his anchor, his support. You grounded him when the weight of everything threatened to pull him under and in these quiet moments, that anchor allowed himself to be vulnerable and to lean on you completely. And you were more than willing to hold him up, even if it meant setting your feelings aside. 

You moved your hand to his back, gently rubbing circles around his frame in soothing patterns to ease his discomfort. “I’ve got you,” you whispered softly, feeling his breathing even out second by second. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” you whispered before holding him a little tighter. 

An hour later 

You got him to calm down a little, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t something that could be fixed in one conversation. It wasn’t just about losing the game tonight, it was about you. And when it came to you, Joe never played around. This wasn’t going to be an easy thing for him to move past and the look that lingered in his eyes told you that. Honestly, you hadn’t even moved past it yourself. But you didn’t want to unload your feelings onto him, not right now. He needed you to be his rock, his safe place, and you couldn’t let yourself add to the storm swirling in his head.

You brought him upstairs a little after he stopped crying and calmed down. You told him that he needed to shower, not because he stank, but just so he could wash the day off himself. 

While he sat on the bed, you went into the closet and pulled out his favorite pair of sweats, clean boxers, and a comfortable shirt for him and set them inside the bathroom before turning the shower on and setting it to the temperature you knew he loved. You then motioned for him to come inside with a sweet smile on your face. 

“Your shower awaits, my king,” you playfully bowed and said, earning a soft chuckle from him. “Thank god he can still laugh,” you thought to yourself. 

“Thank you,” he rasped with a smile, his voice still scratchy from crying earlier, as he slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom where you were, “My queen,” he added with a soft kiss to your lips. 

After watching him get undressed and slip into the shower, you quietly went back out to grab another shirt to replace the tear-stained one that was clinging to your body. When you stepped back inside, the sound of the water running and the silhouette of Joe moving against the foggy glass filled the space. You walked over to the vanity, setting the shirt down on the counter. For a second, you stood still, gripping the edges of the counter. Your eyes met your own reflection in the mirror and you saw the undeniable tiredness behind them as well as the redness from the tears you shed earlier. Your eyes softened for a second, the urge to start crying coming back but before a tear could fall from your eye, you wiped your eyes, “Hold it together, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “He needs you right now,”. 

“Y/N?” a voice from behind you asked. 

You quickly turned around and saw Joe peeking his head out from the shower, his hair soaking wet and water droplets sliding down his body and onto the floor. “Can you come in, please?” he asked with a pout. 

You quietly stared at him for a few seconds before quickly breaking eye contact and flinging your clothes off so you could join him, which resulted in another adorable chuckle from his lips. You needed to wash the day off just as much as he did. 

Once you slipped into the shower with him, the heat of the water instantly embraced you. Before you could fully settle in, Joe pulled you into him, his hands gently gripping your waist as his lips found yours with a frantic intensity. The way his lips were moving against yours was deep, raw, and full of emotion. He needed to feel you, he needed to remind himself that you were still there and that you weren’t going to leave. 

His hand slid up your back, which was now wet as both of you were standing under the rainfall shower head, his gentle fingers tracing shapes around your back as he deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand moving into his wet hair as the other hand rubbed his shoulder. 

His lips didn’t leave yours for a single second as the water poured over both of you. Every inch of your skin was drenched, the droplets sliding down your body, but that didn’t matter. The water was washing away all of the emotions of the day and was leaving you two in your own intimate bubble. However, nothing about what was happening in the shower carried any sexual energy, it was pure love and comfort. You could feel that he needed this more than anything, and you were right there for him. 

His hands continued to roam around your body, slowly but deliberately as he continued to remind himself that you were right there with him. A few seconds later, his lips left yours as he started trailing soft kisses down your wet jawline and neck. Each press of his lips against your skin felt like an apology and a promise all at once–his way of saying that you were his safe space, his sanctuary, and that he was sorry that something came so close to infiltrating his safe space and that he promised it wouldn’t happen again. 

He then moved his forehead to rest against yours, briefly staring into your eyes, before mumbling, “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” while gently squeezing your hips. 

You looked into his tired baby blues before cupping his face with your hands, “It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you whispered, then leaning forward to capture his lips in the soft kiss again, your noses brushing against each other as you pulled him in closer. 

You felt awful that Joe was feeling like this–mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. You wanted nothing more than to kiss his worries away and get rid of all the doubt and the pain by doing such a simple task. He didn’t deserve to feel this pain, this disappointment, this self-doubt. He worked so hard for everything, for football, for you–and seeing his hard work not pay off felt like a constant punch in the gut. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the person you love give their all to something–no matter how draining it was–and for it to rarely give anything back. 

It was even more painful when you saw him cry because of you. The thought of you being a burden, you adding to his stress, was still stuck in your mind. You felt guilty because most of this was your fault. If you weren’t there, then those men wouldn’t have said anything; Joe wouldn’t have a reason to feel this guilty. 

He blamed himself for the entire situation, and you blamed yourself. Except, he was being open about his feelings with you and you weren’t. The roles were reversed from last week. You were shutting him out in order to remain strong for him, and he knew that which made him feel even guiltier. 

“I love you,” he said in between the tender kiss, snapping you out of your daze as his hand cupped your cheek and thumb traced your cheekbone.

“I love you, forever,” you replied, your hand pushing his lips back onto yours. He needed to remind himself that you were still there, but you needed to remind yourself that he was still there too. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to him. 

—

After helping him shower, you finally got him comfortable in bed. The tiredness on his face was evident, but his mind was clearly still spiraling. It was a long day, emotionally draining for both of you, but you knew he needed rest more than anything right now. 

You slipped into the bed next to him, immediately turning to your side and pulling him into your body. His hands instinctively wrapped around your waist as he laid his cheek against your chest, your hands threading through his damp hair as you pressed light kisses around his face. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered a few quiet minutes later as he looked up at you with his tired eyes. 

“Shh, Joe,” you cooed as you moved his head back to your chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here. Go to sleep, baby,” you added with a kiss to his forehead, your heart breaking at his confession because that meant you were right; he wasn’t over it. 

He gave you a small nod before taking a deep breath, “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for everything you do for me,” he whispered, pressing a few kisses to your chest before fluttering his eyes closed. 

The rest of the hour was spent like this, with Joe wrapped tightly around your body. His head rested against your chest as you contuted to whisper gentle sweet nothings into his ear in hopes of soothing his restless mind. Occasionally, you’d press soft kisses against his forehead, his hair, and his cheek–each kiss adding to the palliative effect. Slowly, the tension was leaving his body and his breathing evened out. Your fingers continued to move in his hair, your nails lightly scratching his scalp which you knew always calmed him down. “I love you,” you repeatedly whispered with a gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you too, like a lot a a lot,” you said, echoing what he often times said to you.

About thirty minutes later, Joe was finally passed out like a baby, his face relaxed and free from worry. You glanced down at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips at the sight of him peacefully asleep and because of the sound of his soft snores.

“Thank god,” you whispered, relief washing over you because you got his brain to turn off for the night.

But unlike Joe’s brain, yours was still moving at the speed of light. Now that everything around you was quiet again, the voices in your head got louder. Normally, you were usually the one who had trouble falling asleep and Joe would be there to help you, but this time it was the opposite. 

You stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, hoping and wishing that doing this would bore you to sleep somehow, but you were so wrong. 

You let out an exhausted sigh before reaching over and grabbing your phone from the nightstand, making sure to quickly dim the brightness so it wouldn’t wake Joe up. “Looking at old photos always calms me down,” you whispered to yourself as you opened the photos app on your phone, getting ready to do what you did last week after you and Joe’s argument. Looking through old photos, specifically from happy moments, always seemed to calm you down in moments just like these. 

You made an album specifically for photos of you and Joe in your photo app; it was like a little treasure box of memories that always brought a smile to your face. It was also your secret weapon for moments like these–when things got heavy and you needed a reminder of the simple times.

You tapped the randomizer button, your usual go-to when you wanted some nostalgia with a hint of surprise. This button would pull up any photo from any year, any moment, without any warning–which is why it was so special. You never knew what photo you would see, but it was always guaranteed to be a moment worth reliving. 

You tapped the button, this time a photo of the two of you from 2020 popped up on your screen. 

You were in the driver’s seat of the new car Joe had just bought and he was right next to you holding the camera–a pure, deeply in love smile and look on both your faces.

Flashback to 2020

“God, this car is amazing,” you smiled over at Joe as you turned onto the next street in your neighborhood. 

“I know right?” he nodded. “It feels like we’re gliding on the clouds or something, it’s so smooth,”. 

Currently, you two were driving around your new neighborhood that you had just moved into in Cincinnati, a few months post-NFL draft. Joe had recently purchased his first luxury car with his contract money, a beautiful sleek Maybach, and you were spending the evening driving it around and enjoying your quiet time together in your new city. 

Joe drove you around downtown Cincinnati first–both of you making a list of food places you were going to try, parks you were going to visit, and the prime date night spots–and then offered to switch places with you once you got back to the suburbs area. At first, he was going to let you drive around the city instead of him, but you were way too scared that you'd end up hitting something or crashing to let yourself even think about sitting behind the wheel. But, after a half hour of him sweet-talking you and reassuring you everything was going to be alright while driving, you were now in the driver's seat and were whipping the car around like it was no big deal. 

That was the Joe effect. 

"I love dating a rich man," you winked at him, earning an eyebrow raise from him that would send you straight to your knees if you were standing up right now. 

"Well, I love being a rich man who can spoil his sexy girlfriend at any time he feels like," he smirked. 

"Are you sure you don't love being my passenger princess even more?" you giggled as you reached over to turn the air conditioner down when you saw him pull the sleeve of his hoodie down. "You look pretty damn comfy over there," you said while looking down at his feet, which were only covered with his socks as he decided to take his shoes off.

"Oh, baby I am comfy," he groaned. "This seat is like a marshmallow or something," he sighed as he wiggled his shoulders against the seat. 

"I told you," you smiled, hitting the right turn signal as you approached the stop sign. "I just wish we could figure out how to set up the audio system. I'm missing our music right about now and was hoping we could do some car karaoke today," you sighed as you turned right and started going down another street.

"Yeah, I know," Joe sighed next to you, cupping your upper thigh with his hand, prompting you to glance down for a second. "Ah, ah," he shook his head when he noticed you looking down, "Eyes on the road,".

"You better not move that hand any higher, Burrow," you said while giving him a heated look, knowing his hands were dangerously close to a certain spot. 

"I won't, I won't," he nodded with a cheeky smile, knowing the hold he had over you. "But anyway. Since we don't have music to keep ourselves entertained, how about a short, our version, game of 20 questions?".

"Oooo," you said with wide eyes. "I love that idea!” you chirped. “Let’s make it couple themed too, to add to the vibe,”.

“You got it,” he smiled over at you, his heart swelling as he watched you sitting so relaxed next to him, driving your new car, in your new neighborhood, in your new life together. It was silly, but he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he was getting to do this with you, the one he loved the most. Back at LSU, the thought of this happening was a dream for him even though he was watching it all unfold right under his nose. It didn’t really hit him that you two were doing this–starting the next phase of your lives, the adult phase, the phase where you were together together in every single aspect–until you two had signed the lease for your first home together last month. 

“Okay, the first question for you,” you smiled. “What’s the romantic thing you’ve ever imagined us doing together?”. 

Joe looked ahead on the road as he thought of his answer, but he really didn’t need to think for that long because the answer was so obvious as he’d thought about it about a hundred times every night before going to sleep. “Getting married,” he turned his head and smiled at you. 

Married. 

You felt your stomach do a backflip when those words registered in your head. He’d never said this to you before or ever brought up the idea of getting married, even though it was all you could think about after your first date back at LSU. You thought that it was just your brain getting overexcited at the possibility of your childhood fantasy of marrying Prince Charming coming true–and your first date together solidified that he was the Prince Charming you were waiting for–but you had no idea that he felt the same way. 

“When we’re ready, of course,” he added, snapping you out of your trance. 

You looked over at him, your eyes twinkling with love for him which made his heart skip a beat. “Really?” you breathed out.

“Hell yeah,” he smiled. “You’re my girl, my lady. My one and only. Why would I want to pass up on making an extraordinary woman like you, my wife?” he asked with an adorable smile. There was a certainty in his voice, a certainty that left no room for doubt. Joe had always been sure of you, even when you got in your head and questioned things. The way he said it, with that cute, boyish smile, it was impossible not to feel it too–the deep love and the absolute certainty he had in the two of you.

“I love you,” you pouted, watching him lean in and press a quick kiss to your lips.

“I love you more than anything in the universe,” he winked. 

“Okay, my turn again,” you beamed as you looked back onto the road, Joe nodding beside you and rubbing his thumb across your thigh. “If you could describe our chemistry in a sentence, what would you say?” you asked him. 

Joe’s eyes sparkled with a soft smile as he thought about your question. “I’d say our chemistry is like lightning in a bottle–rare because so many people search for what we have their entire life, unpredictable like anything could happen which keeps us on our toes but also not too unpredictable because we’re lightning in a bottle so it’s contained and secure, and full of energy, but always electric whenever we’re together,”.

“So sweet and poetic,” you smiled as you glanced over at him. “If football ever gets boring, I think you should write a poetry book."

Joe chuckled, his hand still resting on your thigh as he gave it a playful squeeze. “Oh yeah?” he smirked. “Think I’ve got what it takes to be the next great romantic poet?” he winked, clearly amused by the idea, but the way he looked at you–like you were his muse–made it feel like maybe he could.

“Mhm. I think you can write a better Sonnet 18 than Shakespeare did,” you teased. 

“I appreciate the confidence,” he grinned as he moved his hair back with his fingers. “Okay, I have a question for you,”.

“Shoot,” you replied. 

“What’s the most enticing way I can wake you up?” he smirked, the energy in the car going from playful to sensual within 5 seconds of him saying that.

“With your head in between my thighs,” you blushed. “That feeling of your soft scruff rubbing against my skin, your beautiful nose against my clit…Ugh, it’s too perfect. Best way to wake up,”.

“Damn, you didn’t even have to think about that one,” he laughed. 

“Nope. It’s happened all too many times for me to prefer any other way of getting woken up. Except for that one morning, the morning after the date you told me you loved me, when that almost made me miss my psychology exam,” you giggled. “Then I would’ve preferred a coffee to wake me up but every other time, that’s the best way,”. 

“Good to know,” he chuckled. “Okay, next question. If we could have a dance party, just us, what song would you dance with me to?”.

“Teenage Dream, Katy Perry. Duh,” you grinned. “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” you sing. 

“My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe, this is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” he sings along with you. 

“Damn, okay Katy,” you giggled, applauding his ability to stay on the pitch and sing with you. 

“Thanks, babe,” he smiled, doing a little bow in his seat. 

“Oo, I have another one. What’s one thing you love about me that you don’t tell me enough?” you asked him with an eager smile. 

“Hmm, that’s a good one,” he said, biting his lip as he thought carefully about what to say. A few seconds later, he looked at you with an almost shy smile. “How strong you are,” he said. “You don’t realize it, but you’re the strongest person I know. You always take care of everyone else–your friends, family, me–without ever asking for anything in return. And you never give yourself enough credit for how much you handle. I don’t tell you that enough, but I see it every day,”. 

“I’m gonna cry,” you pouted, placing your hand on his which was resting on your thigh. “I love love loveee you,” you said as you brought his hand up, intertwined your fingers, and brought it up to your lips for a kiss. 

“I love you,” he smiled, those three words always coming from his lips and never getting old or redundant. Since he said it so often, it was a constant reminder of how deep-rooted his love was for you. He was all in for you, so infatuated with you to the point where being without you caused him physical pain. 

You turned onto the next street–the street where your house was–which signaled the game was coming to an end.  “Since we’re almost home, I take the final question,” Joe smiled as he sat up in his seat and reached down to slip his shoes on. 

“Okay,” you grinned.

“What’s one thing that I could do that would turn you on immedi-,” he began to say but before he could finish answering you interrupted him.

“The eye-brow raise,” you blurted out, a crimson blush rising on your face at the mental image of him doing the one thing that sent you straight to your knees in front of him. 

“Oh?” he said, surprised at your straightforwardness. 

You slowly turned your head to him, your eyes widening when you saw him doing said eyebrow raise at you right now as you turned into the garage of your home. “Joseph Lee!” you shrieked, slapping his thigh gently.

“I mean, we are home now,” he laughed, the smirk on his face screaming trouble. “At least we won’t have to get the car dirty,”. 

You stared at him with your jaw practically on the floor before he laughed again and used his hand to close your jaw. “Just kidding,” he smiled, “Maybe..” he added with a whisper. 

“Mhmmmm,” you squinted your eyes and nodded as you turned off the car. 

“Anywayyy,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to you. “You like driving the car?”.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him, matching his movements, “I mean Of course, who wouldn’t? It’s a Maybach,” you giggled. 

“Great, it’s your new car,” he grinned. 

Your eyes widened, “What?” you gasped, your voice filled with disbelief. 

He laughed, his smile getting even bigger at your reaction. “Yup, it’s all yours. Figured it was time you had something this valuable to match how valuable you are,”.

You stared at him with a mix of emotions swirling in your body, “You’re kidding right?” you asked, half expecting him to say it was a joke. “I thought this was your car?”.

“Nope. I’m getting a Porche for myself. This one is just for you, a special car for my special girl,” he smiled. 

You blankly stared at him for a few seconds before sliding your Uggs off and hopping over the center console, into Joe’s lap. You couldn’t believe that he just bought this car for you, something so expensive and grand. It was just for you. 

He really loved you more than anything in the world, and everything he did just showed you how all in he was for you. This was another thing added to the list, a very long, lengthy, beautiful list.

You didn't even ask him for anything, he just knew.

“Woahh, hey,” he laughed as his hands instantly went to your waist. 

“I fucking love you,” you grinned as you started attacking his face with kisses. “Like I seriously don’t deserve you at all,”. 

“You deserve everything and more, baby. You deserve the world and I can’t wait to give it to you,” he said to you, the look in his eyes sending chills down your spine. 

“Thank you, Joe. Thank you for all of it,” you smiled before you started peppering kisses around his jawline, feeling his scruff against your lips. 

“No need to thank me. You deserve it for all you do for me,” he smiled. 

“I do need to thank you,” you said as you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, your eyes now filled with mischief and pure heat. 

He raised his eyebrows at your teasing expression, “Okay if you insist. But how so?”.

You looked him up and down as you licked your lips, an idea sparking inside your head. You leaned forward and placed your lips at his ear, “I think we should christian the new car? For its other use, not just driving. What do you think?” you whispered to him. 

“I think that we should get the car dirty,” he smirked as he moved your head back to his view and started kissing his way down your neck.

“Huh, that’s funny. I was thinking the same thing,” you smirked as you pulled his face back up to yours.

End of Flashback

The photo then changed to another one from 2020. This one specifically was from January 13th, 2020. 

You were in Joe’s apartment, tangled in the sheets of his bed with him, and he was holding the camera in front of you both as you both sported lazy, high-on-the-feeling type smiles on your faces. 

“That was a fun night,” you smiled, immersing yourself in the memory again. 

Flashback to Joe’s apartment – January 13th, 2020

“Fuck, that was good,” Joe breathed out as he fell back against the sheets, turning his head over to look at you to make sure you were alright.

“You have...a lot of energy,” you panted with a satisfied smile as you came down from your high, turning your head to look over at him through his messy hair.

“I feel like I can run a marathon,” he lazily chuckled as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you.

“No running marathons tonight, we’re celebrating,” you winked as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his bicep. 

“That’s okay, I’ll just use my energy on you,” he smirked, “If you can handle it,”.

You let out an offended scoff, “Excuse me? Think I can’t match your stamina?”.

Joe looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with you as a smirk tugged at his lips. You grabbed a pillow from behind you and gently slapped his chest with it, “May I remind you of your birthday last month?” you giggled, reminding him of that very very long night you two spent in his apartment celebrating his birthday, alone. 

“Okay, Okay,” he said, taking back what he said. “Fair point. You can handle it,”. 

“Damn right, I can. I’m a National Champion’s girlfriend now, I can handle anything,” you smiled as you laid back against the sheets again, stretching your arm out to cup his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheek. 

“I’m really glad you didn’t mind celebrating here, just the two of us,” he said a few quiet seconds later as he moved your hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your palm. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else, Joe. You’re all I need,” you said to him as you pulled him down and pressed your soft lips against his. 

“That’s great because,” he said between the kiss, “I really didn’t want to be out there tonight,” he said as he went back to your lips, maneuvering himself in the sheets so he was on top of you again.

The LSU Tigers had just won the National Championship just a few short hours ago at the Mercedes Benz Superdome in New Orleans. The entire city was alive with celebration and excitement, and the team was riding the high of their victory tonight. While most of the players and their partners were hitting up every club and bar on Bourbon Street, you found yourself in a quieter, more intimate setting. 

After wrapping up his media appearances for the night, Joe surprised you. You thought you two would just go with the rest of the team to whichever bar they wanted to raid first but Joe just had a feeling you were slightly opposed to the idea of bar hopping all night because he knew you didn’t really enjoy getting blackout drunk in order to have fun, and he was the same. So instead, he took your hand and led you to the car, alone–just the two of you.

The streets, the media, the entire state was buzzing with thrill and excitement over tonight’s game and Joe’s NFL ready performance, but Joe was only thinking about you. He knew how great the game was, how good he looked, and what this meant for his future as a Pro. But he could care less about all that right now. For him, tonight wasn’t about the parties, the lights, or the drinking–it was about sharing this moment with you. The person who had been with him since the start of his journey down here. 

“My little hermit crab,” you giggled as you pulled away from the kiss. “Even when it’s all about you, you still want to hide away in your shell,”. 

“Well, I’m not alone in my shell,” he pouted, “I have you and that’s all I’ll ever need,”. 

“I love you,” you said as you brushed your nose against his. “And I’m so proud of you,”. 

“Babyyy,” he shyly said while stuffing his face in your neck to hide his rosy cheeks. 

“What?” you said as you looked down at him. “I think I deserve to tell you how proud I am of you an unlimited amount of times tonight,”. 

“You’re gonna get tired of it,” he mumbled against your neck as he was pressing sloppy kisses around the bare skin.

“Oh, I am never getting tired of saying it I’ll have you know that,” you said as you stuffed your hand into his hair and played with his curls. “You always find a way to make me prouder so I’m always going to have something new to be proud of,”. 

“...Keep talking,” he said a few seconds later as he moved his head so that it was laying in your neck.

“Gladly,” you said as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, your voice soft and filled with emotion. “Do you even realize how far you’ve come? You’re not just the guy who won the College Football National Title tonight. You’re that kid from Athens, Ohio who fought his way from being a third-string quarterback–someone who people didn’t believe in, someone who thought his shot might never come as he sat on the bench for every game,”. 

Joe stayed quiet as he listened closely to what you were saying to him. “You broke free from that, baby. You took every challenge, and every setback, and used it as fuel to get here. You didn’t give up when things weren’t going your way, and now look at you? National Champ, Star QB, and a leader of a team that believed in you because you believed in yourself,”. 

“That little boy from Athens has come so far. So far from throwing a football in front of twenty, maybe thirty people at a pee-wee football game, to throwing a football in front of thousands of fans with even millions more watching from TV. You’ve worked so hard for this and I want you to be as proud of yourself as I am of you. Because tonight…you didn’t just with the trophy. You proved to yourself, you proved to everyone, that betting on yourself always works. That you are so much more than everyone gave you credit for. You proved that Joe Burrow is that guy and is going to be that guy for years to come,” you added, feeling him hold onto you a little tighter as you continued talking. 

“You did this, Joe. You did the damn thing you always dreamed of doing as a little boy. And this wasn’t just some lucky break, this was you turning that dream into reality. Every time you threw a football in the park with me when you got here, every practice, every struggle–it brought you here. You didn’t let anyone’s doubts or opinions stop you. This win, this night–it’s everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve earned. And it’s just the beginning of your story. Who knows where you’re going to end up after the draft, but all I know right now is that you’ve done what you set out to do. Whether it’s to the NFL or wherever life takes you, you’ve shown nothing can hold you back. The sky isn’t the limit, Joe,” you said while feeling him press a kiss to your jaw and then a wet droplet streaming down your neck, likely a tear droplet from his eyes. “Little Joey Burrow from Athens who used to look up at the sky, dreaming of moments like these? He’s made it. He’s touched the sky. And now, nothing is stopping him from reaching even higher than the sky,”. 

“I am eternally proud of you,” you said, ending your sweet speech with another kiss on his forehead.

You hear Joe’s soft sniffles come from under you, “I love you, Y/N. I really fucking love you. I think out of everything that’s happened to me since coming to LSU, including tonight, you’re by far the best thing. I don’t know how I lived my life all those years without you, to be honest. And I know I can’t live the rest without you either,”. 

“Aww, Joey,” you cooed. “I can’t live without you either,” you said as you brought his face back up to yours and mashed your lips against his. “I can’t and I won’t,” you said as you pecked his lips. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?” you asked him, the look in both your eyes answering that question for you both without needing to say anything. 

“You don’t need to ask me, baby. You’re going where I’m going whether you like it or not,” he smiled. “It’s you and me for infinity,”. 

“Good,” you nodded, a warm feeling in your heart as you two lightly touched the topic of your future together. “I’m not letting go of you if you want me t-, ahhh!” you shrieked as Joe grabbed your waist and easily flipped you over so that you were on top of him. 

“What were you saying?” he smirked as his hands gripped your waist with an intensity that matched the look in his eyes. 

“Damn, you’re strong,” you giggled as you leaned forward and moved his hair out of his eyes, your bare breasts dangling in front of his face which was all he could think about now. 

“Damn, you’re sexy,” he groaned as he slid his hands up your bare back, pushing you forward so that he could latch his mouth onto a nipple. 

You fluttered your eyes closed as you felt him swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud, “Ohh, yeah,” you whispered, your hips rocking against his as a jolt of pleasure vibrated through your tired body. 

“Mm, I wanna taste you,” he said as he pressed kisses along your sternum before moving to your other breast. “I think I deserve a sweet treat for winning the Championship,”. 

Joe’s breath hitched as your hands slid up his chest, your fingernails gently scratching his skin, His eyes darkened as they locked on yours, the intensity between you building with each parting second.

“I mean, it’s only fair,” you shrugged playfully, your voice soft but laced with desire. You bit your lip before adding, “But I want to ride you,” meeting his gaze with a look that spoke volumes. There was a fire in your eyes, one he couldn’t resist, one that seemed to pull him in deeper.

He swallowed hard, his body already reacting to the heat between you, completely mesmerized by the way you looked at him. “Damn,” he whispered, his voice raspy as he slid down on the bed and brought you with him. "You always know exactly what to say to drive me crazy,"

“I know,” you winked, “It’s my job,” you added before you felt him grip your waist again, this time feeling him lift you from his hips and onto his chest. 

“You ready?” he asked you, making sure you were alright even though this wasn’t the first time you’d done this before.

“Oh, hell yeah,” you grinned as you spread your legs wider and moved onto his face, lining your slick core with his mouth. 

A few seconds passed by as you got comfortable, his hands tightly gripping your waist and your ass as you let out a few breathy moans at the feeling of his perfect, ski slope nose rubbing against your aching clit. “Joe,” you whimpered. 

He looked up at you and the sight of you biting your bottom lip and holding onto the bedframe was enough to make him cum without you even doing anything to him, he was mesmerized by you. 

He used his tongue to lick a long stripe across your slit before thrusting his tongue into your core, your hips beginning to gently rock back and forth against his face. “Mmm, fuck,” you moaned, a warm feeling fluttering through your belly as you felt yourself getting lost under his touch. 

“Fuck,” he blubbered underneath you, “You taste like heaven,” he said while closing his eyes and gripping you even tighter. The feeling of his scruff against your bare skin was driving you insane. There was legit no better feeling on this planet than feeling his scruff in between your thighs. 

He continued to lap at your folds with his skillful mouth, even looking up at you with his wild eyes a few times and noticing how you threw your head back each time his lips latched onto your clit, even how you fell a little forward when his nose would rub against it. He was as skillful with his mouth as he was with his hands, both always moving with precision and perfection on you. He always knew what to do in order to send you over the edge, he knew your body like it was a road he’d driven down over a thousand times. 

“Joe, fuck…you’re so- you’re so good at t- this,” you moaned, stuffing your hands into his fluffy, disheveled hair as you rocked your hips back and forth a little harder. 

Your grip on his hair was as tight as the grip he had on you, both of you steadying yourselves due to the intensity of the pleasure unfolding between you. “Yeah, just like that,” you whimpered after you felt him move his hand to your wet heat, his thumb grazing over your bundle of nerves as you felt yourself inching closer to your orgasm. 

You tugged on his hair a little harder, this time earning a moan from him that vibrated through your entire body and sent you straight to heaven for a second as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Ah,” you whimpered as you felt the band in your belly tighten with each expert flick of his tongue and scratch of his scruff against your core. 

“I’m gonna cum, baby,” you whispered as you closed your eyes, your entire body hotter than the sun with the way his mouth was going unhinged on your soaked core. 

Joe opened his eyes and glanced up at you, a feeling of accomplishment and pride coursing through his veins, and it wasn’t because of winning big tonight. It was because of you. Because he was the only man on this planet to get you like this. 

He latched his mouth onto your clit, flicking the bud with his hot tongue as you felt your high starting to come over you with each nip and suck of his mouth and the feeling of your waist being squeezed by his big hand. 

“Joe…Joe…Joe!” you screamed a few seconds later as you felt your orgasm cut through you, your hands gripping the bed frame so that your tight grip didn’t end up ripping his hair out. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whimpered as you felt your release fall into his hot mouth and his tongue continuing to work you through your high. 

“I love you,” you breathed out a few seconds later once you looked down at him, feeling him smile into your drenched heat as he continued to coax you through your high.

And in that moment, you once again realized that there was no other place you both would rather be right now. You were away from the noise, from the flash of the cameras, from the distractions. This felt like the real celebration. The one that mattered the most. Joe had achieved one of his dreams, and the only thing that made it sweeter was sharing this private, intimate moment with you. 

All the sacrifices, sleepless nights, countless hours of practice–it all led to this. And the one person he wanted to be with, more than anyone else, was you. 

You were both exactly where you needed to be. Together. And that was the real victory.

End of Flashback 

You snapped back to the present when your phone turned off and the light was no longer reflecting onto your face. Your face felt wet, as well as your eyes as you looked down at your phone which had droplets sliding down the screen. You didn’t even realize that while reliving these memories, you started crying. 

You swiped at your face, trying to wipe away the tears as if you could get rid of the feelings that had overwhelmed you. You glanced down at Joe, praying that none of this had woken him up–which thankfully it didn’t. 

“Everything was so simple back then,” you thought to yourself as you felt a few more straggling tears slide down your cheeks. You missed those times, those times when your only concerns were what bag and clothes he was going to bring to his first practice as a Bengal or what team he’d end up going to post Natty win & NFL draft. 

And now? Now there were so many concerns, worries, and thoughts that needed to be sorted. But why? “When did everything get so complicated?” you asked yourself as you glanced back down at him, his puffy eyes still closed and his mouth slightly open as the soft snores continued to come through. “Why did everything get so complicated for him? Why is he in so much pain? He doesn’t deserve this…he works so hard. He does everything he needs to do. He does so much for me and for this life, we built,” you thought to yourself again as you felt your stomach drop.

You wished you could do something to help him, do something to just fix everything that was bothering him. But you couldn’t. 

The only thing you could do was remain strong, remain as his anchor, and prevent him from going under. 

Even if sometimes you felt like you were about to go under yourself. 

You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before whispering, “I’m so sorry Joe. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could make this better. You deserve the world and I’m so sorry that I can’t help you in the way I should be,".

"I’m sorry," you whispered again as you felt another tear slide down your cheek.

–To be Continued–

[gremlingottoosilly]

Nature vs Nurture (monster!Konig x fem!Reader)

The new world order - monsters on top, creating the perfect dystopia for humans. You are nothing but a pet to them, a breeding mare for their perverse desires…and now you've finally been claimed by their colonel. Good luck.

Tags and TW: Dub-con, monster fucking, size kink, power imbalance, dumbification, pet play, dystopia, obsessive Konig, tentacle monster Konig, oviposition, breeding. AO3

It was supposed to be a supply run. Fast, quick, stealthy. In and out, the ruins of the abandoned store not so far from your hiding spot. Whatever you could find, some canned food – maybe, but not realistically. Some rubble and garbage that could be exchanged for food for triple the price it was – possible. Realistic. 

It was supposed to be a quick supply run. Like a rabbit out of her hole – but not really a rabbit, not even having the courtesy of strong legs and long ears that could spot anyone from a mile away. No, of course not – the universe wasn’t feeling particularly merciful when you were born a human in the age before monsters decided they didn’t want to be servants anymore. You think you remember going to the store like a normal person. Picking up a cart, hauling anything you could afford – not bothering about a lot of things. 

There are still stores, you think. Remesances of capitalism, working only for monsters – whatever crude economy they were building, it stayed in the cities. In the military bases, were filled with monsters even before the uprising. Not here, in the wasteland – it belongs to humans, as little as there were left. 

It was supposed to be a quick supply run for you and your friends – but you were dumb, but you were careless, but you grew accustomed to being the only one here, you didn’t even spot a patrol. Nasty fuckers, getting humans off the abandoned streets – you tried to fight and it didn’t work. Tried to run, and they were faster. Always faster. You should have been quicker, you shouldn’t have been a human – but you are, your soft self still not hardened by the life on the run, so you weren’t put out of your misery as you saw some other humans who got caught. Monsters took pity on you – or, perhaps, your submissiveness finally paid off. You were shown off the corner of a store – a human store, as you read, the words burning in your mind. You heard the stories about humans – attractive, soft people, mostly weak and obedient – who were snatched off the streets to do god knows what. Monsters can’t breed on their own, you remembered. 

You can hear the voices coming somewhere in the hallway, a good few meters away from your cage. You force yourself to stay as far from the bars as possible, not wanting to attract attention. Not even want to bother yourself with trying to see what your captors look like – monsters can take on human appearance and you’d rather live without seeing a human pet trader looking like someone who could have been your neighbor before the uprising. You curl in a ball, hugging your knees. Sobbing softly, quietly – knowing that there is no way out of here now. Not even other humans would help you now. “Just got new batch, colonel. Doesn’t look like a resistance member” “Ja, I heard that the last time. Schlampe killed all the hatchlings the second they were born.” “W…we didn’t know, sir! I promise, it was a…” “You can’t even breed them properly. There wasn’t any new humans in months, wolf” “Humans are…delicate, sir. They don’t want to breed in captivity.” “Make them then.” You hear something heavy shuffling around. You hear heavy footsteps that are making the flimsy flor of your cage shake. Even monsters have their disputes – but you can’t bother with caring when you hear footsteps approaching. Large shadow casting down on you. Making you feel even more small and miserable than you did before. Your head hurts. Your stomach hurts. Your everything hurts. 

Someone is staring at you. You see…someone. Humanoid silhouette – too big to belong to a human, at least 7 feet tall and broader than the entirety of your cage. You whimper when the creature tilts its head to the side, a surprisingly boyish tone of his voice grasping on your panicking mind. It isn’t the one that captured you but, for some reason, you can sense that he is even more dangerous. There is something on his uniform – some decorations, you think. Soldiers from the age before the uprising are all have quite high ranks in the new society – if they are monsters, that is. Large, droopy red tentacle falls from the guy’s hood. Definitely a monster. 

— Come closer, human. You whimper, trying to get up – only to get as far away from him as possible. You’re terrified, but he only hums in acknowledgment. A group of tentacles rising from under his hood, pushing you towards him through the bars. You were never more thankful for being locked away. 

— Disobedient. Or just dumb? 

— I d…don’t…

You cry, not wanting to give an answer – too disoriented, your nostrils are filled with the smell of sea and blood. You feel light-headed, dizzy, you’re hungry and dehydrated and you don’t know how could you even proceed to resist when one of his tentacles goes through the bars of your cage. Caresses your face, surprisingly gentle. Smearing cold slime around your skin, but even this is a welcoming feeling – you’d take everything that isn’t damp air of the human compound and the old sweat tattering your skin. You’d give anything for a bath right now. At least a few wet wipes, to wash the grime off your face – to stop feeling like an animal even though you know you’re already been reduced to one. — Just dumb, then. Gut. Monster caresses your face for a while, admiring your features. Salty tears feel like heaven on his tentacles – you can’t possibly see him, but he is grinning under that weird hood of his, adoring how obedient you are. It might be just exhaustion, but he missed humans like this – broken and abandoned. Soft and adorable, crying at the brim of a hat. König is going to have a lot of fun breaking you in – you couldn’t possibly be worse than the last wife he took. He wants to see you round and filled with his eggs. He wants you to see you cry for his cock, begging him to fill you up like the dumb, pathetic human you are. He wants to lay in the nest with you, pressing his body against yours – stealing the coolness of your body, covering you with his tentacles like a perfect chewing toy. He wants to… — Ah, sir. This is the new one. Just took her yesterday. 

A merchant smiles, slimy face spreading in a wide grin. Tentacles retreat from your face and shoulders immediately, only leaving a small trace of liquid over your features. If you were dumb enough, you could have sworn the monster was affectionate – but you don’t want to be dumb. Can’t survive in this world only on silliness, unfortunately. — I will take this one. — B…but it isn’t properly domesticated yet! You know how wild strays can be, colonel… — I thought you said all pets were properly obedient? 

— W…well, of course, sir, but… — I don’t need a trained slut to carry my eggs. This one would do nicely. Consider this your sacrifice to the order, ja? Before you know it, the merchant showed you in the hands of a giant man. Colonel, as you heard – not knowing proper military ranks, you wonder how high it can be. Or low. Monsters only value power and personal strength – and the merchant was fucking terrified of the tentacle creature who was holding you right now. Perhaps, you should have tried your chances of running away and being killed. Perhaps, you should have slowly died of hunger instead of coming out for supplies. `You’re held high in the air – too high for your liking. The monster presses you against his chest like he expects you to run away any second now – and you want to, really, nothing you’d love more but to simply jump off and run for the hills. But you’re too exhausted, the hunger sitting deep in your empty stomach makes you think that, maybe, for whatever reason this monster bought you for, he’d at least feed you. Maybe turn you into a pet – this is why there are stores for captured humans, right? Humans were treating their pets nicely, maybe the monster wouldn’t be too far off. Tentacles are swirling around your legs, around your hands – now you can’t even move your neck properly, cheek squished against a warm chest. This monster is a weird one – it’s like he can’t stop his tentacles from touching you, the cold tips of his tendrils spreading slime on the dryness of your skin. His body is warmer than any human would be, and his tentacles are cold – the contrast against your naked skin, barely covered by your torn clothes, is making you crazy. Making you think about weird things – like the monster reproduction again. Like your empty tummy, like the friends you left at the compound when you were supposed to go for supplies. Not getting captured by one of the monster higher-ups.

— You’re soft for a human. You weren’t even sure he was talking to you at first. You’ve been walking for a couple of minutes before you could finally hear some traces of civilization. Roaring vehicles. Gunfire. Laugh and groans – moans, too, to your surprise, not all of them very pain-induced. Your face is still pressed in his chest, you can’t see anything meaningful – but he stops in some corner, you think, covering you in his arms like a package he needed to deliver. You aren’t sure if you remember what the word “package” means. Something naughty, you think. — Quiet, too. 

You still don’t answer, and he hums. Pushes you on the ground, suddenly – you fall on your ass, yelping in pain and surprise as you lay on something softer than a concrete floor. It’s a pile of mattresses, you realize. You’re in a room, you realize – still too dizzy after everything that’s happened, you didn’t even notice when he entered the building and pushed you away from the sounds of life you wanted to hear so much of. You’re sitting on your ass on the pile of soft, rotten mattresses – a faint smell of decay builds up in your nose, but you can’t even concentrate. The tentacles are spreading your legs suddenly – you cry and whimper, your walls breaking down to reveal a soft center because the monster tears away your pants with ease. Your clothes weren’t much, to begin with, dirty and torn after the capture – still, you don’t want to be naked in front of him. You don’t want to be naked in front of anyone. 

— Spread your legs, human. You don’t want to, but you obey – you don’t wish to give him an opportunity to pry your legs open, to use force and make your life even more miserable. You know that being so obedient is kind of pathetic but, honestly, you couldn’t care less at this point. If being pathetic would save you from a broken leg, you will spread yourself open. Place each ankle on the side of the rotten mattress, not even caring that the thing fabric of your clothes – whatever little is left there – is slowly whiskered away by the tentacles. His hands are worse, somehow. He pushes your legs a bit wider, making you hiss from the stretch – and then he tears off your underwear. Not even letting you a chance to save your dignity – before you could cover yourself with your hands, at least, he is already launched at your cunt, smaller tendrils swirling around your core. You’re dry, obviously – and the monster tilts his head to the side. Acknowledging. Looking. He isn’t soft in his movements and the prying attention makes you embarrassed – if your legs weren’t in hid hold already, you’d try to close them. To save yourself. His motives are obvious, his intentions are clear – still, you sob and whine i his hold when his hand slowly presses on the button of your clit. The colonel – you try to remember this, it’s probably important –  is somewhat slow – he pushes your inner lips, spreads your hole as much as you can with a meager amount of fluid from the slime of his tendrils and, somehow, you find yourself getting aroused. Maybe, it’s his attention – he isn’t laying his eyes off you, and it almost makes you blush too much. He is adorable in this way if a monster of his regard can even be called this – and you’re freaking terrified when he goes closer, looks at you even more. 

His hand is making squelching sounds as your cunt becomes wetter by the second – it’s the first time in forever you had this kind of attention, and surviving the monster revolution didn’t exactly help with getting the edge off. You’re desperate for anyone to touch you – and the monster has beautiful hands. Big and burly, with tendrils sometimes running around to add even more lube – you know you’d never get anything like this with a normal human. — Need to check you first, Maus. The merchant keeps sending me infertile ones. You don’t know what he is talking about – but his hand lays flat on your tummy, putting you in place, and the larger tentacle – big, slimy one, with uneven structure with little bumps that made you wonder how it’s even going to fit inside – slowly creps to your sloppy, wet opening. It doesn’t hurt, you’re wet and open – something in the lube he extracted made you dizzy, dumb, you don’t even know when you spread your legs a bit more and welcomed the intrusion. It feels right, it feels wrong, it feels like the thing to die for – it feels like something that could kill you. He laughs and it sends slow rumbles right to the tendril penetrating your pussy. The pressure on your clit is too much – and your brain is to foggy to think that it reminds you more of a medical exam than actual sex. The tentacle inside is vibrating, twisting and turning, pressing on your cervix – it should feel painful, it can’t be this good but, somehow, you welcome the feeling of being this fucking full. You don’t buck your hips, but you cry and moan – and it’s enough of an indication of your pleasure. Monster laughs, his other hand goes to lay on your face – a surprisingly gentle gesture. Short-lived, but you could still feel the warmness lingering on your tattered skin. It’s hot and cold with him – you aren’t sure what comes next, but the tendrils are sliding in and out, probing at the entrance of your womb and, despite everything, you feel the knot in your stomach untying. The orgasm is a quiet one – build up is slow and small, and it doesn’t make you black out – but you whimper nonetheless, the tight embrace of his hands on your body feeling more like a cage than a normal hug. He is too powerful, probably not sure about his strength – you feel him squishing you like a fruit. The slime is leaking from your empty pussy, clenching around nothing. — Obedient. You’d be a good vessel for my eggs, human. You whine, turning away from him. He chuckles, pressing you in his arms again. Like a child with his favorite new toy – you feel squeezed and touched in various places, his tentacles having a mind on their own. Not an inch of flesh getting ungroped. — Ar…are you going to kill me? — Ach. You can talk after all. — Are you going to… — No. Have a much better way to use you. He chuckles in your hair, pressing his face in it. Inhales the scent – if he has nose, of course. This stupid hood conceals everything, not letting you know anything besides his rank. Which makes you think about…

— What is your name? 

A stupid question, really. You shouldn’t care about the name of a monster who bought you – still, you don’t want to refer to him as just “a monster”. This dumb part of your brain wants closure. — König. Remember it, little human. Oh. So his name is König. Somehow, it doesn’t make you feel any better. 

[yuri-is-online]

Hello Yuri, inviting myself with a question. AceYuu, JadeYuu, RolloYuu. Favorite Tropes and Why?

Hello Sayo, nice to have you drop on in, have a seat. That's a sort of difficult question ( • - • ) … I think one of the main reason I like these three ships so much is my favorite thing to write is requited unrequited love, and there's a bunch of good chemistry to work that into these three guys. I like exploring the pining and denial stage of love, but there are some differences with each ship I like to explore.

AceYuu is friends to lovers to me. They just exemplify what I want out of a ship like that, there's a genuine friendship underneath everything that's built on mutual respect and affection that just isn't with some other pairings. I like exploring it from Ace's pov especially because I see him as someone who already has a good grasp on what it means to be a good and loyal friend, but is utterly powerless when it comes to genuine romantic love. He's got no idea what to do with himself other than continue to be Yuu's friend, not fully realizing that's the best foundation for a relationship. I like making Yuu a bit more accepting of their own romantic feelings but not of their place in Ace's heart. Jenny Studio Killers ship my beloved.

JadeYuu is Yuu falling first and Jade falling harder. The line I throw around about Jade finding Yuu boring at first isn't something I made up, it's his vingette level up line. "Oh no I don't think that now." He says with a smirk because he doesn't, but he does not really know what he thinks about Yuu so he doesn't give a concrete answer. Fun he supposes, he likes watching you move through the world. It's similar to how Floyd interacted with things at first, but he doesn't really like the idea of comparing you to Floyd... just what is this strange feeling? He thinks he likes it vs Yuu who took one look at Jade and that smile, that damned smile. You were in love from day one and a bit upset that your bad taste in men had followed you to a different world. But while you are busy trying to get over your feelings Jade is starting to realize his and once he does good luck getting away. He's intense, desperate, and so much deeper in love than you ever thought he could be. If you don't get married right this instant he thinks he might actually die, he's that down bad. And super pathetic about it too.

RolloYuu is love at first sight. I like fatal/doomed attraction with them too, just Rollo being in love with Yuu and Yuu being in love with Rollo but the timing is wrong. The circumstances are wrong, Rollo is maybe the one guy who genuinely wishes he was born in your world and would follow you there without hesitation (the original ending to my long fic had him doing just that) but is that really what would be best for him? I like writing him as obsessed with Yuu, and Yuu as knowing it is wrong to be enamored by that but they're just so tired of everything they want to stay with him. It's much more simple than the other two ships I should write for them a bit more... oh I've also found I really like writing them as childhood friends in my ayuus. It's a dynamic that sort of works with that whole doomed love at first sight thing, for me anyway.

[iliketangerines]

light vs shadow

a/n: this took way too long

pairing: light!raiden x afab!reader x dark!raiden

warnings: nsfw (MDNI), fingerfucking, implied size kink

you feel like you’re going insane with the way Lord Raiden kisses you

or the darker version of him? it doesn’t matter, not with how his scarred and callused hands cradle your face as if you are made of porcelain

his voice is low and soft, face carved with lines of stress and age and anger, and yet he is so soft with you, lips moving against you so slowly and gently

he does not protest when your hand goes into his long white hair and pulls it out of its neat bun, and he does not protest when you tug on the shimmering locks

he simply lets out a low groan and moves one hand from your face to press against the small of your back and drag you in closer to him so that your chest presses against his

there’s a slight shuffle behind you and then you feel the hands of your Lord Raiden rest upon your waist as his teeth nip at the back of your neck

his hands are not nearly as callused, only slightly softer, but they are just as experienced as one hand dips down and brushes against your pussy folds

you let out a small sound, trying to grind your hips down on his fingers for some more pressure, but he simply moves with you, a small laugh escaping from his lips and splaying on your back

“you should have more patience than this, little one.” your Raiden teases you only slightly, and you can already see how his eyes crinkle with his amusement

before you can retort, your attention is brought back to the older Raiden as he groans and nips at your lips, sensing how he was losing your attention to the younger version of him

he continues to kiss you, his grip on you firm and strong as the lighter version behind you finally presses his fingers upward against your clit, slowly rubbing it in small circles

a sigh escapes from you as your hips grind against him on instinct, and you tug on older Raiden’s hair as you start to whine

“you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” a shiver crawls down your spine at the older Raiden’s words, voice hoarse and rough from his wars and his anger

“no! i-i’m not!” you let out a whine as your Raiden slowly pushes one finger inside of your drooling pussy, and your hips jerk forward, not quite used to stretching so quickly

both of them let out a small chuckle, and the younger Raiden simply responds by slowly pumping one finger in and out of you while grinding his palm into your clit

“it doesn’t seem that way with how you’re soaking my hand right now.” your Raiden teases you, breath splaying across the shell of your ear before his lips move down to kiss along your neck

you want to make a jab back at them, but you can only let out a strangled whimper as the younger Raiden slides another finger inside of you

his fingers already feel impossibly big inside of you, stretching you out much further than your own fingers, but you don’t get a chance to concentrate on the thought as the older Raiden kisses you once more, stealing the breath out of your lungs

all you can do is tug at his shining white hair and moan into his mouth as the slightest form of rebellion

the younger Raiden only hums and curves his fingers, looking for that one spot to make you melt, and he presses kisses to the skin of your back as he searches

it’s not long before he finds it, your back arching off him, a loud whine escaping from your throat as your hips jerk forward into his hand

he smiles against you, working his fingers against the spot, feeling you tremble and shake underneath his hand as he continues to pleasure you, and he can feel the burning stare of the older version of him trying to burn holes through his head

a byproduct of jealousy and longing, he supposed, after all, it had been several years since this older version of him had gotten to see you, much less touch you

looking back up at the darker version of him, Raiden simply smiles and brings his free hand up to pinch at your nipple, silently jeering at the god as you moan louder at the feeling

the older Raiden simply growls and focuses his attention back on you, his eyebrows for a moment softening, his eyes staring at you as if you held the world in the cup of your palm

you don’t seem to notice, mind too hazy with pleasure as your body tries to grind down harder on Raiden’s fingers, attempting to bring yourself over the peak

Raiden can feel you clenching around his fingers, your arousal dripping from you and staining the inside of your thighs and the sheets the longer he fucks you on them

“that’s it, that’s it, so good for me, for us.” the older version of him speaks up, his voice gentle even as he bites at the exposed flesh of your neck

his hands stay on your waist, moving with you as your hips grind down further onto the younger version of him, and he hums at the sight of your face etched with pleasure

it’s truly a wonderful sight, one that he had missed for so long, and Raiden brings his head up to swallow your sounds as you whine and cum on his younger version’s fingers

he can feel every tremble of yours beneath his fingertips, the way your lungs struggle to breathe against his chest, your fingers tugging at his hair

you separate the kiss first, bringing your forehead down to rest on his muscled shoulder as you try and catch your breath, and the younger version of him slips out his fingers, admiring the glisten of your arousal on them

he brings them to his mouth, tasting it with his tongue, and Raiden can’t help but let ou a soft moan at the taste of you: it’s so much better than anything he could’ve imagined

it was a mistake to have thought you did not return his feelings, he should’ve courted you sooner, if only to see you smile and to undress you completely with his hands

the darker version of Raiden hums, lifting your head up and pressing one more kiss to your plush lips before you push at his chest and slightly shuffle backwards

your hand goes to wrap around his cock, eager to give him some semblance of pleasure too, but Raiden simply catches your wrist to press his lips to the back of your knuckles

“please, just let us worship you tonight.” his eyes slightly crackle red, and you feel the younger version rest his hands on your hips and press his own lips to the crook of your neck

“i mean-well, are you sure?” there’s still a nervous stammer to your heart, unsure if this is real, two versions of the god you have harbored feelings for worshipping you in every way

it simply felt unbelievable

“yes, we’re very sure. you can’t even begin to imagine how long we’ve waited.” the younger Raiden speaks up, his voice slightly hoarse, and you purse your lips for just a moment before nodding

the darker Raiden smiles, kissing the inside of your palm this time and focusing his gaze on you as the younger Raiden let go of you for a brief moment to slip off his pants

you go to kiss the older version, one hand resting on his face as he groans and puts one of his hands on your shoulder and the other at your waist

he wants more, to do more to you, to ravage you until you couldn’t speak, to kiss you until you couldn’t breathe, to have you boneless and spent from his hand alone, but after so many years without your presence and with only anger to fill the gaping hole of your absence, it was much too tempting to not take you right here 

perhaps at a later time, he could properly ruin you

his hand tightens at your waist when he feels you twitch in his hold, and you whine into the older Raiden’s lips as you feel your Raiden grip into your hips, the length of him grinding in between your cheeks

the younger Raiden dips his hand to your clit, slightly rubbing it side to side, just enough to relax you, and he slowly pushes forward, the tip of his cock stretching you out further than you can believe

a strangled sound leaves your throat, and you have to rest your forehead against the darker version’s shoulder as you tremble in his grip

tears spring at the edges of your eyes, and the younger Raiden places a soothing hand at the small of your back, “relax, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

he doesn’t press any further into you, simply waiting for you to relax as his older version presses gentle kisses to your neck and murmurs soft encouraging words into your ear

your breathing evens out after a few moments, and the younger Raiden slowly presses forward, keeping watch of your every small gasp and slight whimper

however, he can’t help the loud groan that escapes him as he bottoms out, his pelvis flush with your ass, and his hands grip on slightly tighter to your hips

you pant and whine into the older Raiden’s mouth, your arms trembling with holding the weight of your upper body to continue kissing him

“see, doing so well for us, taking me without a complaint, so good, so perfect.” the younger Raiden murmurs it, feeling and seeing how you tremble underneath his praise, and he slowly draws his hips back and then thrusts forward once more to listen to the punched out moan you give him

the older Raiden watches, enraptured with how you slowly unravel further and further underneath their collective touch, your moans becoming a blubbering mess the faster and faster the younger version of him fucks into you

soon enough, you can’t support yourself on your arms anymore, and he has to shuffle himself towards you on his knees so that he can support your weight as you whine and gasp

it allows the younger Raiden to slightly change his position, the head of his cock bullying against your sweet spot, and you let out a high-pitched sound as your pussy clenches around him and you come

the younger Raiden is quick to follow, hands gripping so tightly onto your hips that he’ll be sure to leave bruises tomorrow, and a low groan rumbles from his throat

he thrusts inside of you a few more times before finally pulling out, eyes transfixed on how a mix of his and your cum drips out of your cunt

you seem to catch your sense eventually after a few light kisses to the nape of your neck, and then the older Raiden drags you forward so that your hips meet

a yelp escapes from you at the sudden movement, and then a soft sigh as he kisses you, your hips settling down and grinding against the length of his cock

“i hope you didn’t forget about me.” the darker Raiden rests his hands on your hips, lifting you up briefly so that you can sink down on the length of him, and you can’t even find it in yourself to make a snappy remark as he dips his head down to nip at your neck

it seems as though you were in a for a long night

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request a rivalry between Norton Campbell and Fool's Gold (Identity V)? Like in a match, how do they act towards a Darling that's a survivor?

This is an... interesting idea since they're the same person but... let me see what I can cook up.

Yandere! Norton Campbell vs Fool's Gold Concept

(Behavior during a match)

Pairing: Romantic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Possessive/Protective behavior, Violence, Jealousy, Dubious relationship(s).

Alright, how I view the lore of these two is they're the same person during different times/outcomes.

That OR Fool's Gold is a manifestation of Norton's fears from the mining accident.

I say all of this based on their actual lore.

Norton is what happens after he survives, becomes isolated due to his mood swings, and soon is invited to the manor.

Fool's Gold appears to be either Norton contracting an illness from his accident... or again, some sort of manifestation of his PTSD.

That's how I view the two.

Although... My analysis does make this concept a bit complicated.

Perhaps in the manor, whatever supernatural forces behind it created Fool's Gold from Norton's fears.

In a way, this beast is a copy of Norton meant to embody his accident.

It always appears sickly and menacing as it chases its prey in battles.

Yet in this case, it's a separate being from Norton.

Now, the interesting part is this...

What if Norton developed an obsession with you, only for Fool's Gold to mimic it.

I like to view alternate identity hunters as reflections of their survivor counterparts.

So, in this case, Fool's Gold would mirror Norton's obsession.

Which would lead to this eventual match in the manor.

Norton met you in the manor that has now put you in a perpetual cycle of matches for supposed 'money'.

When you met him you immediately took note of his erratic behavior.

The accident and the magnets he uses tend to affect his mood it seems.

Despite this you're patient with Norton, sticking by him when no one else would.

After the accident, after he watched all of his fellow miners die, everyone avoided him.

You, on the other hand, are probably the warmest company he's had in a long time.

You make him forget about what he saw at times.

The only thing that would remind him of his accident is Fool's Gold.

After all, my HC makes it an embodiment of Norton's fears and insecurities.

It reminds him of the accident in the mines.

It could also possibly be an echo of his obsession over you too.

For example...

During matches, Norton is protective and occasionally possessive of you.

He sticks by you as though magnetized to you, always making sure to keep the Hunter away from you while you decode (Since he is horrible at it).

Although... Fool's Gold is the worst parts of Norton's obsession amplified.

His possessive tendencies... his jealousy... his violent tendencies...

It all makes up Fool's Gold.

A match with both of them in it is... unnerving.

Norton is never sure how to approach Fool's Gold.

He knows he takes on the job to distract the Hunter to keep you safe....

Yet he's scared of it at the same time.

Fool's Gold only has one goal upon seeing you.

Since it is a reflection of Norton's true desires, it's going to ignore Norton and target you.

After all, while Norton doesn't voice it, he's obsessively in love with you.

Fool's Gold does all that for him.

Towards you, once it gets its hands on you, Fool's Gold is rough.

It holds you tightly, it clings you to its chest, it keeps you away from others including Norton.

Fool's Gold doesn't hesitate with murder.

It doesn't care about others or even your personal feelings.

Fool's Gold sees you as its possession.

It's a being born from fear and obsession.

It thrives off keeping you to itself.

Which often leads to Norton trying to pry you away from it with magnets.

While Norton can control his obsession somewhat...

Fool's Gold mirrors what he wishes he could do.

Things like kisses, cuddles, hugs, or even something more than that.

Fool's Gold has high aggression towards other survivors because Norton hates you around them.

In a way, Fool's Gold is Norton's rude awakening to his brewing obsession.

Fool's Gold may even show up before Norton is aware, making him unable to connect the dots until later.

The match mostly consists of Norton following you closely while he tries to distract his twisted reflection.

Fool's Gold, on the other hand, is focused on claiming you for itself one way or another.

By the end of the match, when you escape with Norton, he ponders what all this means.

Was any of that real? Is that really how he feels?

Unfortunately... This encounter does not stop Norton's feelings from growing...

This, in turn, makes Fool's Gold's obsession stronger...

The two are one and the same, after all.

[virginiaisforvampires]

Initial thoughts for 2x08 (Episode 15) — SPOILERS INCLUDED!

FINALLY! I can talk freely! 🤣😭🙌🏽 Do y’all know how hard it was for me to keep my mouth shut over the fact it was LESTAT who saved Louis while Armand directed the play?! But I’m coming to all that. I’m glad I knew about all this beforehand, because there were a lot of things left up in the air and many loose ends. That is the twist to which I think Sam was referring. No concrete answers to certain things other than the main points. So here we go.

The rocks healing inside Louis’ ankles. Are you joking? The way this made me physically hurt and cringe and feel so bad for Louis. His feet have to be in pain to this day, yet he’s punishing himself by not removing them. I’m going to need a scene of Lestat finding this out and those rocks finally being removed by Lestat. A true symbol of the healing and forgiveness that Louis is desperately trying to extend to himself.

Louis saying no matter what would’ve changed in his life, Lestat was always his destiny. 😭

How long did Armand let him starve? Louis’ wails and moans were ripping my heart out. Let him go!

Louis’ rage. It’s a thing of beauty. Possibly one of my favorite sequences across the entirety of both seasons. Torch those assholes! 🔥

Also? Louis has power! When he used the mind gift to hone in on Estelle and Celeste, I got chills. It reminds me of Sam and Jacob saying that Louis should, by the later lore, have those powers too, because Lestat made him, and Lestat is powerful from both Magnus and Akasha.

Louis vs. Santiago. I cheered. It’s been building, and Ben Daniels created a Santiago that was actually worth the time Louis took to kill him. Do not underestimate Louis. 🥰

Lestat just hanging out in Magnus’ tower? Repeating the words that Magnus spoke to him? Mmhmm. Oh I’m sure. Y’all see now why I said it had Armand’s handiwork written all over it? Louis choosing Armand over Lestat in the most melodramatic, telenovela way? I’m betting a million dollars that scene did not happen like that, and I’m also betting Lestat wasn’t the arrogant, apathetic fiend like we see in that moment either.

I do, however, believe Louis went with Armand to spite Lestat. It goes right along with the intentions of the OG interview in 1973 and all the petty insults in an effort to get Lestat’s attention, which pokes another hole in the Magnus tower scene. Louis seemingly blames Lestat for Claudia’s death in the tower, yet that’s not really the tune he’s singing in 1973. Again, like I’ve mentioned several times, why has the story changed in Dubai? *ahem*

Daniel. My man. The MVP. “Where does the bullshit start, Armand? Amadeo? Arun?”

Sam was the Talamasca operative all along. Very very interesting.

“I could not prevent it.” Mmhmm. Not only could Armand have prevented it, but he directed the entire trial and made several important notes in the script wrt the Loustat relationship and how Lestat was supposed to behave and even directing it to have Lestat not look at Louis until the key moment, because Armand knew what would happen the second Lestat looked at Louis.

Lestat rehearsing. Oh yes, he’s sooooooo invested in the play to the point he’s resistant to their directions, screams that they know nothing of Claudia’s strength, and literally throws the script back in Armand’s face.

We still don’t know how/why Lestat got to Paris and exactly what all went down with him before, during, and after the trial. THANK GOODNESS WE HAVE S3 CONFIRMED! 🙌🏽

Lestat saved Louis. It took all his strength to do it. That’s why he couldn’t save Claudia too. Daniel bringing up the soldiers from 1x03 was meant to highlight this. Remember how weak and pallid Lestat looked afterward? How he collapsed with his ears bleeding?

He looked the same at the trial, and his ears were bleeding.

We also have the glimpse of Lestat completely zonked in the aftermath and swaying on his feet before Claudia dies.

All of this from Lestat’s POV in S3 will be devastating.

The Loumand breakup. I was very interested to see the reactions to Louis throwing Armand into the wall and telling him to get out.

Louis and Daniel. 🥺

“Not my Lestat!” from 1x05 🤝 “Not my Armand!” from 2x15.

In all seriousness though, I don’t think Armand was really going to let Louis die. I think there was more to it and perhaps he’d worked something out with Santiago. I don’t know, but it is a rather cold turn for Armand, even though I think the show has honed in on the fact the trial was always (even in the book) about Lestat and about Armand’s desire for revenge against him for what Lestat had done to his coven and for rejecting him. It’s always always been about Lestat — for both Louis and Armand.

Sebastian Melmoth. I smiled. Little Tale Of The Body Thief easter egg. One of Lestat’s favorite aliases.

LOUSTAT REUNION! 😭♥️🙌🏽 Our babies came home to us! We’ve been living off Louis’ side of the hug for months, but now we have Lestat’s side. It was worth the wait.

Look at his face. Look at his hand trembling. Look at the way he closes his eyes in profound relief. The overwhelming love and relief that Louis, his beautiful Louis, is alive and safe. He’s not dead like Nicki and Claudia, which is a direct aspect from The Vampire Lestat.

Lestat saying he left Louis with Armand and asking if that was saving Louis….I told y’all the parallels with Nicki were smacking us in the face.

“Did you hurt yourself?” I talked about this moment already here, but I won’t ever get over this. He loves Louis. Like, OMG. He LOVES Louis. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Louis apologizing to Lestat. Louis explaining that he was wrong and wanted to be awful to Lestat due to his own suffering. Lestat’s soft little “I see” in response. The way you can already see his self-loathing and the way he believes he failed at making Louis happy. Louis finally acknowledging vampirism as the gift that it is. Louis thanking Lestat. Lestat’s shock that Louis isn’t there to berate him or reject him, and that’s when Lestat’s walls crumble, and the first true words to Louis are asking about the suicide attempt. I can’t, y’all. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!

Lestat punishing himself by living in squalor. However, I don’t think we’ve heard the full truth of everything that he’s endured since Paris. He sounded so weak and ill in 1973 and in 2022, he’s still seemingly in a mental fog. He’s not well, and there’s no way Louis would’ve left him in that condition.

Louis softly kissing Lestat’s face. The way it looks like he kisses the mouth scar. No words. Just….no words. A small glimpse into their future. The way the embrace starts to loosen, but then Louis clutches him back into his arms, and Lestat easily goes while he continues to sob.

At the end of the day, this was two parents grieving the loss of their daughter. She will continue to haunt them for the rest of their existence. No one can know this pain except them. They were the happy family. She was their baby, their child. They both failed her even though they both loved her.

Having said that, y’all remember the flack I got for saying Lestat loved Claudia? 🖕🏽😊

This is what I meant when I said Loustat is left ambiguous. We don’t know how they leave things or if they did leave things. We don’t know where Lestat is during the final scene in Dubai, which brings me to a theory that must be considered.

What if this meeting is the contested NOLA meeting? What if Louis didn’t find Lestat in NOLA, because Lestat went underground when he got the call in 1973? What if Louis included this meeting in the book as a call to Lestat to draw him out? Just something that needs to be considered, but I like to believe it really happened and Lestat was sleeping in the bedroom in Dubai, even if they’re not yet “together” again.

The symbolism of Loustat clinging to each other as the hurricane rages around them. The world could be crumbling around them. As long as they have each other….it’s always only them. Fatally. They are it for each other.

The color coming back into Louis’ life after reconnecting with Lestat? My heart. 🥺

Ah yes. The final scene with The Vampire Louis. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. “I own the night.” YES, LOUIS! YES! 🙌🏽👏🏽

Do y’all see how this perfectly sets up The Vampire Lestat? Louis is now in danger. Lestat, wherever he is, won’t stand for that. 🥰

Lastly, The Vampire Daniel. Y’all! I was screaming over this! So so happy! 😭 So yeah, idk how anyone could say Devil’s Minion wasn’t a thing after this. For one, I don’t believe Daniel was made out of spite. Nope. For another, I think parts of Devil’s Minion already happened, and this perfectly sets up their journey together, because Daniel is Armand’s only fledgling.

Again, thank the lord we have a S3 confirmation! 🙏🏽 So many things were left open and so many threads/arcs being established. The pacing was an issue. Too many things extended in the earlier episodes that could’ve been condensed, because 2x07 and 2x08 needed the time to breathe, and I feel like everything was simply packed into the last two episodes, because time was wasted at the theater.

Overall, did S2 exceed S1? No, but this part of the book was never my favorite, and I’m just glad to be moving on from this dark arc, and finally knowing we’re gonna get to see Louis and Lestat moving forward together and getting the development that only existed between the lines in the books. Onward and upward! 🥂🍾♥️✨🙌🏽

[numbuh24insane]

Bowser vs Eggman: The Aftermath, Sonic's Realization

Restoration HQ

The Restoration's base hummed with quiet industry, a symphony of activity unfolding in the sprawling headquarters. Engineers tinkered with machines, repairing damaged equipment salvaged from the frontlines of battles past. Analysts poured over maps and reports, ensuring the Restoration could respond to any crisis at a moment’s notice. Volunteers bustled through the corridors, distributing supplies to be shipped to remote villages still recovering from the scars left by Eggman’s takeover.

Near the central operations hub, Tails oversaw a group of technicians calibrating a new detection system, his twin tails flicking with excitement as he explained the upgrades. In another corner, Belle hummed a song as she worked on long overdue repairs, her focus undeterred by the chatter of Jewel's logistical assistants organizing supply runs. The day was typical, steady, and predictable. Something that was becoming more and more common in this fantastical world.

Sonic leaned against a safety rail on the upper balcony overlooking the main floor, his arms crossed casually as he took in the scene. Below, a pair of members chuckled at the antics of Rough and Tumble on a monitor. The bumbling skunk duo had tried robbing a supply caravan earlier that week, only to be thwarted by Whisper and Tangle.

"You know," Sonic idly started as Amy came up behind him, "This place runs like a well-oiled machine. Kinda weird seeing it so . . . calm."

Amy smiled. "It’s what we wanted, right? To rebuild without having to fend off badniks every day."

"Yeah, I guess." He tapped a foot idly against the ground. "Just feels like it’s been too quiet. The biggest threats these days are Rough and Tumble making a mess of some random store or Clutch trying to pull off another shady deal. Hardly the kind of thing that gets my blood pumping."

"Maybe that’s a good thing," Amy said, looking at him. "We’re not supposed to need you to be the hero all the time, Sonic. The Restoration can handle the small stuff."

“And I’m here to clean up the big stuff . . . but nothing big has happened in months. I can’t even remember the last time Eggman pulled one of his ‘I’m-gonna-conquer-the-world’ stunts. Man, I just can’t shake the feeling that something big is going to happen, that it’s just right around the corner. If that makes sense.”

"It does," Amy admitted, her tone thoughtful. "I mean, after everything with Starfall Islands, I thought we’d have a new crisis by now. But Eggman’s been completely off the radar."

"Maybe he’s finally throwing in the towel," Sonic said, tilting his head back and gazing at the ceiling. "You know, after losing Sage . . . I think that hit him harder than he’d ever admit. She was like a daughter to him."

Amy frowned, taking in this new information. "You really think that’s enough to stop him? Eggman’s a lot of things, but giving up isn’t one of them. If anything, he’s probably using this quiet time to build something even more dangerous."

"Maybe," Sonic said, tapping his chin in thought. "Or maybe he’s finally realized there’s more to life than building giant ego-machines. I like to think losing Sage might’ve made him . . . rethink things."

Amy glanced at him, her expression softening. "You always see the best in people, even someone like Eggman. But I don’t think he’ll ever stop being Eggman. He’s always scheming, Sonic. Always."

Sonic smirked, the corner of his mouth curling as he turned to face her. "Well, if he is planning something, we’ll handle it. Like always." He tapped the rail. "But for now? I’m gonna enjoy the peace. Even if it is a bit boring."

Before Sonic and Amy could exchange another word, the lights flickered ominously across the Restoration’s base. A sharp crackle of static blared through the speakers, drawing everyone’s attention. The monitors scattered throughout the facility turned black for a brief moment before the familiar crimson insignia of the Eggman Empire appeared with the text ‘Please Stand by’.

The room erupted in confusion and alarm. Restoration workers scrambled to consoles, engineers fumbled with emergency protocols, and Tails bolted to the main control panel, barking orders to the tech team. Above it all, Sonic remained leaning against the rail, his grin widening.

"Well, well," He said with an amused chuckle. "Speak of the devil. Let’s see what ol’ Egg for brains has been plotting!" He could feel that surge of excitement and adventure rise up within him.

"If you are seeing this," Eggman began, his tone uncharacteristically serious, “Then I am dead."

A stunned silence fell over the room. Even Sonic’s grin faltered for a moment, replaced by a raised eyebrow of genuine surprise. Amy’s eyes widened before shaking her head with disbelief.

Eggman continued, his image flickering as though the message were pre-recorded. "Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. 'Is this some sort of trick?' Let me assure you, if this message is playing, then I have shuffled off this mortal coil.”

He paused dramatically, letting the words sink in before throwing his arms out in mock despair. "Tragic, isn’t it? The world has lost its greatest genius! A monumental loss for science, for civilization, for Mobius itself! But don’t mourn me too much! I’m sure my end was spectacularly dramatic!" The scientist laughed, twirling his mustache.

Eggman continued, his tone shifting to a speculative drawl. "Speaking of which, I’m curious. What could possibly have done me in? Was it one of my magnificent plans going down in flames? Did one of my creations rebel and finally catch me off guard? Or . . . " He grinned, pointing straight at the camera. ". . . did you finally do it, Sonic?" He leaned back stroking his chin as he considered the possibility,”If so, I do wonder what prompted you to do it. I had to have had a truly devilish marvel of a scheme to get you to finally cross that line.”

Eggman suddenly retracted, waving his hand dismissively. “Ah, who am I kidding? You’d never do it. No, no, no you’re too soft. Always playing hero, always keeping me alive so we can do this little dance forever. Ohohoho!”

Amy crossed her arms, annoyed.. “He’s still insufferable as always.”

Eggman wiped a tear from his eye before continuing his spiel, “But fear not Sonic, even if I’m gone you’ll still have quite the foe on your hands! Should Metal Sonic still be operational, and really, why wouldn’t he be? I built him to perfection. Then my empire is in capable hands. Metal will carry my legacy, and he will succeed where I could not. He will destroy you, Sonic. Oh yes, your days are numbered. Even now, I’m sure he’s already formulating the best way to turn you into a smoldering pile of ash! How proud I am!”

The screen glitched momentarily, then Eggman continued, his expression softening into a smug grin. “Of course, I can’t leave without a personal touch. I’ve prepared special messages for each of you. Think of them as parting gifts from beyond the grave! They should be arriving . . . oh, about now.”

As the video cut off, the Eggman Empire logo pulsed on the screens, and then, one by one, the Restoration’s systems began rebooting. Almost immediately, individual monitors across the room displayed specific names: Sonic, Belle, Amy, Tails, and others.

“He can’t be dead, can he?” Belle questioned, her wooden body rigid and eyes wide with disbelief. She was shaking, almost to the point of breaking. The poor puppet jumped as Tails placed his hand upon her back and got her to calm down.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Sonic uttered out, for once he didn’t have his casual smile upon his face. The wind seemed to have been taken out of his sails. One by one each of them approached a different monitor, wondering what kind of message Eggman had left for them.

Sonic leaned forward, his finger hovering over the notification bearing his name. The air around him felt heavy now, the reality of Eggman’s proclamation beginning to set in. He steadied his shaking finger and tapped the screen.

The screen lit up again, revealing a new recording of Dr. Eggman. This time, the background was less ominous. It was his usual workshop, cluttered with half-finished machines and screens displaying blueprints of his countless schemes. Eggman lounged in his oversized hover chair, a smug grin plastered on his face. That grin while still as smug as ever, seemed less performative and much more natural, as though this part was meant for Sonic and Sonic alone.

"Sonic," he began, spreading his arms grandly, "If you’re watching this, then congratulations you’ve outlived me. Bask in the glory of knowing you survived the greatest mind in history! I’m sure you’re standing there, smirking like you always do, thinking you’ve won. But let’s not get too carried away. Because if there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’ll never really consider this a win. Not against me"

Sonic nodded, it was true. He never wanted to see Eggman die. He always dreamt that Eggman would have a change of heart, that he would re-adopt that Mr. Tinker persona and work on making the world a better place. That was what victory meant to the Blue Blur, not this.

Anything but this.

"You know, Hedgehog, you’ve been the proverbial thorn in my side for years, and yet . . . I can’t say I ever hated it. Not truly. Sure, you’re insufferable, cocky, and annoyingly fast, but you’ve also been . . . entertaining. From our first little dance back on South Island to our more ambitious confrontations, like, oh, I don’t know, the time I turned you into a werehog . . . Not one of my brightest moments, mind you. But the point still stands! You pushed me, Sonic. Forced me to innovate, to improve, to strive for perfection. The brutal truth is that I am glad that you foiled my plans, it made my future endeavors all the more worth it."

"But," Eggman snapped, his voice snapping back to its usual boisterousness, "Don’t let this go to your head! Even dead I’m still smarter than you in every conceivable way. GAH! If I’d had just a little more time, I would have won! Make no mistake about that!” He pounded his fist against the table before calming himself down,”I’ll admit . . . there were times I almost respected you. Almost."

Sonic let out a soft smirk, understanding that was a confession of respect from the egomaniac.

The workshop around Eggman seemed almost smaller now, the man himself quieter despite the bombast in his words. "But alas, here we are. I’m gone, and you’re still here. I know you’ll carry on, saving the day and being that insufferable do-gooder you’ve always been. And honestly?" He allowed himself a small, almost wistful smile. "The world’s better for it. If I can't take over the world, then you better ensure that no one else will!"

Sonic’s hands dropped to his sides, the faint ache of realization settling in his chest. This wasn’t just another one of Eggman’s melodramatic speeches. For the first time, the finality of it all began to sink in.

He hated this.

This was something that he couldn’t run from, that he couldn’t use his prowess to overcome. Eggman was gone . . . and that fact truly hurt the carefree blue blur.

Sage had asked him to look after Eggman. Those were her final words, for him to ensure that her father would continue to live, for them to make up their differences. And he had failed that little girl, and he had failed himself.

Eggman straightened, his expression shifting to something sterner. "But enough sentimentality! I saved the most important part of this message for last." He tapped the side of his chair, and a familiar figure appeared on the screen beside him. "Sage."

Sonic's eyes went wide as he pressed his head against the screen.

Sage was gone, why was Eggman bringing her back up?

Eggman let out a confident smirk,”I managed to save her, Sonic. I scoured the Starfall Islands and all of Cyberspace, finding the remnant parts of her code, stitching it all back together and nursing her back to health! I succeeded where you failed her!” He uttered out, pressing his finger against the camera.

“She’s alive!?” Sonic shouted out, prompting glances from other Restoration members. A soft grin emerged upon his face,”Of course she is . . . It’s Eggman after all.” He was a miracle worker, always able to do the impossible.

“I’ve already integrated her into the Eggnet. She’s protected now, there won’t be any incidents such as what happened last time, and she WILL outlast me.” Eggman guaranteed, having worked long and hard to ensure Sage’s longevity and survival.

The image on the screen pointed directly at Sonic, his gaze sharp and serious. "And here’s the kicker, since I’m gone, I need someone to look after her. Someone who understands her. Someone who . . . " He hesitated, as if the words tasted strange in his mouth. " . . . who can help her find her place in this world. That someone, Sonic, is you."

The weight of the words hit Sonic like a freight train. The usually confident, quick-witted hedgehog found himself at a loss.

"I know what you’re thinking," Eggman said, his smirk returning faintly. "Why would I trust you with something so precious to me? The truth is, I don’t. But you’re the best shot she’s got. You’re . . . a hero, after all. And for what it’s worth, I think Sage would have liked that."

Eggman leaned back in his chair, a glimmer of something almost human in his eyes. "So, there you have it, Sonic. My final request. My final challenge. Take care of my daughter. And try not to screw it up." He then let out a grin,”And if you do? Then I’ll find a way to rise up from the grave and get you! Oh-hohoho!”

Sonic stood there absorbing Eggman’s last request as he heard the wicked scientist laugh for one final time.

The message ended abruptly, the screen fading to black. For a moment, the bustling sounds of the Restoration felt distant, muffled. Sonic stared at the blank monitor, his chest heavy. He tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat.

Sonic jumped as he felt a hand land upon his shoulder. His head spun around as he saw Amy looking at him, concern clear in her eyes. She ushered him over to where Tails was comforting Belle. The four of them found a nearby table, a heavy silence was practically smothering them as they sat there.

Belle shuddered.

Amy gently placed a hand on Belle's arm, her usual energy tempered with concern. "Belle . . . do you want to talk about it?"

Belle hadn’t spoken yet, her head still bowed. Belle’s hands trembled as she finally looked up, her voice quivering. "H-he called me his daughter." The room fell silent, all eyes turning to her.

"He said . . ." She paused, wiping at her wooden cheek with her sleeve. "He said he never understood the value of family until Sage. But that . . . he regrets not seeing it sooner. Regrets not seeing me as his daughter while he still had the chance." Her voice cracked, and a tear slid down her face, glinting like dew. "He hoped I could accept Sage as my sister. That we could . . . be a family. Even without him."

Amy moved closer, placing a gentle hand on Belle’s shoulder. "Belle . . ."

"But he’s not my father," Belle said quickly, her voice defensive and firm, though the tears kept falling. "My father was Mr. Tinker. Not him. Not-" She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don’t know what to feel. He hurt so many people. Hurt me by becoming him again. And yet . . ." She shook her head, her voice breaking. "I still wanted to hear those words."

Sonic stood, his face unusually serious as he placed a hand on Belle’s shoulder. "For what it’s worth, Belle . . . Mr. Tinker was real. He was Eggman, just without all the bad stuff clouding his mind. And if that version of him could care about you, maybe that means the Eggman we knew had some of that deep down, too."

Belle’s wooden fingers tightened into fists as she looked at him. "Do you think he really meant it? That he wanted us to be . . . sisters?"

Sonic gave her a small, reassuring smile. "From what he said in my message? Yeah. I think he did. He talked about Sage too, about how much she meant to him. And I think you meant as much to him as Sage does."

Belle bowed her head, letting the tears flow.

Tails frowned as he pat her back, trying to help his friend in her grief.

"Well, I don’t know what I expected, but that message was . . . something else." He crossed his arms, his twin tails flicking behind him. "Typical Eggman, though. Started off talking about how he was the greatest genius of all time y'know, classic 'Doctor Ego', but then he said something about me being . . . what was it? 'The second-smartest mind to ever grace this world.'" He snorted, but there was a small, conflicted smile on his face.

Amy leaned forward, curious. "Wait, second-smartest? That’s a compliment coming from him!"

Sonic smirked, reaching over to ruffle Tails’ fur. "Well, you are the smartest guy I know, little bro. Took Eggman long enough to catch on."

"Yeah, but then he said, 'With me gone, I suppose you’ll finally have a chance to take the top spot. Don't mess it up, Prower. Not that you’ll ever match my heights!' Like he couldn’t resist one last dig." Tails shook his head, but the faint admiration in his tone was undeniable. "Still . . . hearing him admit that? It means a lot, I guess."

Sonic glanced over at Amy,”What about you Ames? What did Eggman say to you?”

Amy looked down at the table, her brow furrowed. “Mine wasn’t much better. He said I should stop chasing after you, Sonic.” Her voice wavered slightly, but she pushed through. “‘It’s unbecoming,’ he said. And that I’m wasting my potential, that I’d be better off focusing on myself instead of clinging to someone who doesn’t share my feelings.” She huffed, trying to mask the hurt. “Then he called me ‘stubborn to a fault’ and said I’d probably ignore his advice anyway. But . . .” she hesitated, her voice softening. “He said I’m stronger than I think. That’s . . . the only nice thing he said.��

Amy sighed, “He wasn’t completely wrong, was he? Maybe I do need to focus on myself more. I’ve been thinking about that for a while now.”

“You’re all right to feel how you feel. Eggman’s always been full of himself, but this . . . this is something else.” Sonic rubbed the back of his head, his eyes darting away. “It’s weird, you know? He’s always been there, always scheming, always chasing me down with his machines. And now he’s just . . . gone?”

The room fell silent again, the weight of Eggman’s absence settling over them.

Sonic pushed off the table and stood upright, his tone shifting to something more determined. “I can’t just sit here and let this stew. I’ve got to find Sage, and I’ve got to get some answers.”

Amy stood up, worry etched on her face. “Sonic, wait. It could be a trap. Eggman’s always been two steps ahead, even when it looks like he’s lost.”

Sonic gave her a half-smile, the sadness still lingering in his eyes. “Maybe. But I’ve got to get some answers. I owe it to all of us to figure out what’s going on.” Without another word, he turned and bolted from the room in a blur of blue, the air crackling in his wake.

Amy sighed heavily, crossing her arms again. “That hedgehog . . . He’ll never change.”

Tails leaned forward, a soft smile on his face. “Don’t worry, he’ll be okay. He’s Sonic after all.”

Belle wiped her face, her voice soft but resolute. “He’ll find her. He always does.” She paused, “And when he does, I’ll have my own questions for Sage. About him. About all of this.”

Eggman Land

Sonic raced through the countryside, the wind roaring in his ears, his mind churning. As he neared Eggman Land, the imposing theme park/fortress loomed over the horizon, its garish lights and towering structures stark against the twilight sky. Yet, something was off . . . there were no patrols, no badniks racing out to intercept him.

The gates were wide open, the rides whirred and the neon lights shined bright, but not a single soul in sight. It felt as though the place had been abandoned in a hurry, left on autopilot. Sonic slowed his pace, the eerie silence pressing down on him. His instincts screamed that something wasn’t right, but he pressed forward, weaving through the empty attractions until he reached the central tower.

As he entered it, he noticed the broken pieces of glass that littered the floor. Moving his gaze upwards revealed the monitors that were all destroyed, laid in ruins. One cracked monitor had Eggman upon it announcing his death in repeat. He finally turned his gaze to the center of the room and saw a man there, leaning forward at a console. He wore a black suit that was currently unkempt, shards of glass hanging loose off of the sleeves.

It was Agent Stone.

One of, if not the most loyal of Eggman’s followers.

Sonic took a step forward, glass crunching under feet. The sound alerted Stone to his presence, the man twisted around gripping a wrench as he faced the blue blur,”You!” He growled out with a rage that Sonic had never seen before. “You’re not allowed to be here! This place is sacred! A monument to the Doctor’s genius!”

Sonic gave a sheepish smile as he raised up his arms in surrender,”Woah! Don’t worry, I’m not here to mess with Eggheads stuff, I’m just here to get some answers. Such as . . . “ Sonic disappeared in a burst of speed, reappearing directly in front of Stone, the wrench wrenched out of his hand. The man fell back onto his chair in surprise,”Such as what happened to Eggman.”

Stone felt his own powerlessness as he turned his head away from the Hedgehog. “He’s not dead.” His voice was full of pain,”He can’t be dead. The Doctor doesn’t die . . . he always has a plan! He is a genius! The greatest genius! D-death is something that can’t apply to him.” His voice broke,”He wasn’t supposed to be gone for this long.”

Sonic’s head tilted as he caught the last part of Stone’s grief-filled speech,”What do you mean, he wasn’t supposed to be gone for this long?” He asked.

Stone glared at the Hedgehog, but gave in as he saw the sheer concern in Sonic's eyes,” . . . Months ago, the Doctor was studying the limits of the warp topaz. It opened a portal to a whole new universe. At first, Eggman wasn’t interested in it. It was far too underdeveloped compared to our universe, that was before he caught sight of a kidnapping attempt and discovered the Koopa Kingdom.”

“Koopa Kingdom?” Sonic questioned,”Never heard of it.”

“Of course you haven’t.” Stone blinked,”I just told you it was from a different universe!” He leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh,”That Koopa Kingdom held a tremendous power and seemed as ambitious as the Doctor, so the Doctor decided to conquer it before it could become a threat to his own plans . . . “ Not to mention he wanted the power that Bowser held for himself. “There was a time table and plans he had to transport his whole army to this new universe, to execute Operation Catfish and then conquer it with one big battle . . . Only, I haven’t heard anything from the Doctor since he left.”

Sonic nodded, everything was beginning to fall into place here. It was like old times, Eggman finding some power that no one knew about and trying to get it for his own ends. It goes badly and now it's time for Sonic to bail him out.

He let out a smirk.

“Stone, you can transport me there, right?” Sonic asked, ready to go out and save Eggman and Sage.

Stone blinked, then narrowed his eyes. “Why would I do that? You’re his enemy. If anything, I should kick you out of here!”

“Think about it,” Sonic grinned. “If Eggman’s stuck in some other universe, you’re not exactly going to get a postcard from him. I’m fast enough to get in, find out what’s going on, and get back before you can even finish another cup of coffee. What have you got to lose?”

Stone turned back to the console, his fingers flying over the keys. “There’s a portal generator in the lower levels. I’ll activate it and set the coordinates to the universe that the Doctor went to.”

Sonic gave a confident grin. “Thanks, Stone. I owe you one.”

“Don’t thank me,” Stone muttered. “Just . . . bring him back.”

Sonic nodded and turned to leave, his mind racing. “Hang tight, Egghead,” he said under his breath. “I’m coming for you.” With that he disappeared into a blue blur as he sprinted downstairs and into the portal below.

KOOPA KINGDOM

The transition was instantaneous yet disorienting. For a moment, Sonic felt weightless, as if he were floating in an endless void. Then, with a sudden burst of light, he was propelled out of the portal and into a vast, vibrant landscape.

He landed on his feet, skidding to a stop atop a hill covered in bright green grass. The sky was a brilliant blue, dotted with fluffy white clouds. The air was warm and carried the faint scent of flowers, reminding him of home, of Green Hill Zone.

He shot out in a burst of speed, rolling around at the speed of sound. He crossed each and every hill as he searched and searched. His leg collided with something hard and caused him to trip. He groaned as he twisted himself around and gasped. What his foot had collided with was the remnants of metal sonic. His entire lower body had been eviscerated, his upper body remained in three separate parts.

“Metal.” Sonic uttered out, expecting and hoping for the robot's eyes to light up, but there was nothing. It remained dim and Sonic felt a lump form in his throat as he questioned what could possibly hold the power to destroy Metal Sonic.

“Can’t stay here.” He reminded himself and continued forth. Each and every step he became more and more worried, as questions ran through his head. After all, he knew that Eggman would never leave Metal there, not like that.

He bounded over a Hill and became privy to a scene of utter carnage. In the distance, the Egg Dragoon was hoisted in the air, its body having a massive spike of Earth through it. His heart skipped a beat as he saw Eggman’s body, but breathed out a sigh as he realized that was just one of his D3COYs. His head swiveled around, going over the sea of badnik parts and seeing the disembodied head of the Death Egg Robot.

“What happened here?” Sonic muttered out, a tinge of fear in his voice. He jogged down hill, going straight towards that head . . . but stopped as he caught sight of the Egg Mobile. It was cracked, left in a derelict state.

What’s more was the fact that it was completely made out of stone.

It was over.

Sonic knew that it was over. That Eggman came here to conquer and he lost everything. After all, the Egg Mobile was always his last line of defense. It was how he always escaped and survived, not even a blackhole would destroy it. It was a safety net for the Mad Scientist, that no matter how bad things became, he could always escape it via the Egg Mobile.

But here it was.

Broken.

Just like everything else around here. From Metal Sonic to the Death Egg Robot, there was no way that Eggman survived.

Sonic sat down, leaning his back against the cold stone. His gaze moved up to the clouds, wishing that things could be different. Wishing that he had followed through on what Sage had asked of him at Starfall Island and that he checked up on the mad scientist.

For a long moment, Sonic said nothing. Then, his voice broke the stillness, soft and almost hesitant. “So . . . this is it, huh?” Sonic said softly, as if Eggman could hear him. “Leaving without ever truly saying goodbye. You always had to make things dramatic, didn’t you?”

The silence stretched around him, the wind rustling faintly through the distant grass. Sonic rubbed the back of his neck, forcing a small, bitter chuckle. “You know, for all your evil schemes, you were never boring. I kinda liked the challenge, you always kept me on my toes.” He smirked faintly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Even after all the times I trashed your plans, you never gave up. Always bouncing back, always coming up with something new . . . .”

Sonic chuckled, running a hand through his fur. “I know I give you a hard time, but I always thought . . . maybe one day, you’d change. You had it in you. I mean, look at Belle. Look at Sage. You’re capable of more than just destruction, y’know? You can create such fantastic things, I know if you put your genius into it, you could’ve made a better world. I mean, look at how much joy you created back when you were Mr. Tinker.”

He sighed, the weight of the moment pressing down on him. “I just . . . I wish things could’ve been different. That maybe, just once, you’d decided to fight with us instead of against us. You always said you wanted to conquer the world, but I think what you really wanted was to prove something. To yourself. To everyone.”

Sonic leaned his head back, closing his eyes as the sun warmed his face. “You were the biggest pain in my butt, but . . . it was fun. The races, the battles, the smack talk, it was all a game to you, wasn’t it? And, yeah, I had fun too. More than I’d ever admit out loud.”

Sonic got up to his feet, staring over at the Egg Mobile. “I’m going to look for Sage, I know you wouldn’t have put her in harm's way. I’ll find her and bring her back home. I owe it to the both of you.”

He raised up his arms and fist bumped the machine.

“Thanks for the memories, Doc.”

With that he sped away.

[bluemoonsunrise]

Demons and Savages

pairing: tsu’tey and human!avatar driver (fem presenting)

content warnings: graphic language, violence, alien vs human differences, unconventional grief, the RDA sucks, enemies to lovers. (also, i don’t like to capitalize sentences on tumbler :3)

word count: …idk :P

pov: 2nd person so you can add yourself in. for writing/plot purposes, your character is named eris ramsey. i’ll use the name sparingly but i can’t take myself seriously writing y/n— so please just work with me here. i promise it’ll be worth it. (i hope)

———🌌———

SUMMARY: earth was dying and your sister was, too, but cancer killed her faster than humans were killing earth. when she passed, she not only left behind an empty apartment full of memories but a billion dollar avatar without a driver. in a desperate attempt to not waste that money, the program she had spent the last five years preparing to join recruited you— her twin. of course, you agreed. there was nothing left on earth for you. there was nothing left on earth for anyone— that’s why people like your sister were sent off to pandora.

when your sister had spoken of pandora, it seemed like a dream.

the RDA promised it would be like a safari adventure.

truth was that pandora is beautiful. beautiful and unlike anything else across the whole of the universe. it is breathtaking— and that’s because what chases you through the forest hunts with the intent to kill; so you best run like hell even if your lungs are on fire. beasts and monsters of all kinds lurk out of sight waiting for the right moment to kill you dead— but none are as dangerous as him.

the blue shadow with the bow.

chapter one

— assholes and arrows —

it was hard to imagine that you were 4.37 light years away from earth.

what the hell even was 4.37 light years? obviously, you knew you couldn’t throw a rock and hit earth, but it was still mind boggling that it took long enough that they had frozen you whole so that you wouldn’t die in the amount of time it took you to get to where you were going. had your sister known just how far away she would’ve been had it been her in that cryo-capsule?

of course, she did.

she was the scientist who knew how far a light year was.

she was the scientist that had devoted the last years of her life to the avatar program without knowing it.

god was cruel— but people were even crueler.

at your sisters funeral, you had not expected two men-in-black characters to approach you. you had expected to leave the service with your sisters ashes in an urn but not that and a brochure of pandora and the program on it.

the program that now needed you to pick up where she left off.

were you supposed to say no? it was too late for that now. you were 4.37 light years from home. the only thing you could do was get off the aircraft and try your best to be even a teaspoon as smart as your sister.

as soon as you stepped out of the aircraft, you were a fish out of water. soldiers in massive metal suits walked the runways carrying giant guns. AMP suits, as they were called. machines the size of buildings were shot with arrows and needed repairs. the RDA extraction facility — lovingly nicknamed hell’s gate — was brutalist. the massive colony was an eyesore, churning out dark gray smoke into the pretty blue sky.

surely, the men in charge would happily rot this place into nothing, too.

it took three days to figure out your way around. around the colony. around the avatar labs. around the social hierarchy that the people living here had factioned themselves into.

it took three days to feel comfortable. to feel comfortable in your link-pod. in your avatar body. in your crew consisting of one grumpy, cigarette-dependent scientist, a goody-two shoes scholar, and an paralyzed man with a big mouth.

once grace augustine stopped bitching about how she got stuck with two dead scientist’s twins, things started to seem alright— because if there was any relief in hell’s gate, it was jake sully.

jake was the universes way of apologizing to you for all the shit you had to go through to get where you were. native language exposure, protocol training, avatar study, and a program explanation all in one month before they stuck you in a box and express shipped you to the blue moon.

it had wrecked your brain. all the studying and the work and the cramming wrecked your brain entirely. you felt like mush after they had unfroze you because you felt like mush when they had frozen you.

at least you got training, though. poor jake was picked up a week before the ship left.

the only training jake had was military. he was a marine. despite being wheelchair bound now, you his tactical skill was of value when in his avatar. he was the happiest out of the whole crew to have been gifted one of those big blue bodies. his legs worked again.

jake opened up briefly about how he got injured during his deployment years back and hadn’t done much since. in his avatar, jake could never stay still. in his real body, it was still hard to keep still. while jake could do poppa-wheelies and drift around hallway corners in his wheelchair, fire a gun with alarming accuracy, and had the mental fortitude of a nuclear war bunker— he was going into this thing virtually blind and deaf.

because poor jake had lost his twin, too.

tommy had been shot.

bang.

gone just like that. days before his big trip, too. wrong place at the wrong time is what jake had said. all tommy’s life’s work was gone just as fast as your sisters was— even though cancer killed her slowly.

in the end, it didn’t matter.

all it takes is one second to die.

all it takes is one second to make the biggest damn mistake of your life and almost get eaten alive by a leathery, nightmare-inducing, panther-looking thing on your first ground excursion.

grace had prepared you for taking samples. she taught you how to use the log device and the tablets. she went over how to input data and file in her research. what she hadn’t prepared you for was the off chance that a monster larger than a car leapt out from the bushes and chose you as it’s afternoon snack.

and that off chance chose you today like god had chosen mary.

“oh shit! oh fuck!” you gasped as you ran as fast as your feet could carry you.

it was not very fast.

avatar bodies were a work of scientific genius— but no one cared to think about how much training the body would need to be able to perform well.

a shrieking roar told you that the monster was still behind you.

that and it’s thundering paws hitting the ground as it chased after you.

this was karma.

it was karma for enjoying animal planet reruns on the shit-box tv in your apartment. you would sit on your couch with a bowl of over-done popcorn drenched in salty butter in your lap while you watched lions chase gazelles.

at least the gazelles were fast.

why the fuck weren’t you fast!

your throat burned alongside your lungs. you couldn’t breathe. your vision tunneled. your legs ached. you could hear your heart in your ears. sweat poured out of you like bullets.

“run!” grace had shouted.

jake had unloaded a whole clip firing at the panther-like beast— but the damn thing had dodged and ducked behind trees.

that’s why it chased you.

because it had seen you cowering behind a tree.

one stupid mistake.

one stupid second.

claws swiped at your backpack and it sent you toppling over. teeth dug into the pack and with one violent shake, you flew up into the air.

you hit the ground hard. all the air gasped out of you. your ears rang. but you had time. the beast tore your pack to shred and you didn’t stick around to see it realize that backpack à la carte wasn’t tasty.

“oh jesus!”

swinging your arms like a mad man, you steadied yourself at the cliffside. a raging, rushing waterfall hammered into a river below. far below.

a feral snarl sent you whipping around.

backpack was not tasty, it seemed.

the pandoran-panther leapt into a sprint.

and you leapt off the cliff.

the water below felt like a wall. croosh! bubbling, swirling rapids rushed around you. it clogged your nose and burned. you struggled to kick your feet in the current.

swimming was a luxury on earth. what water was clean enough and who had money to go to a pool? only the ultra-rich liked pools. poor people liked old tv specials like animal planet.

instinct and the sway of the current helped you surface. you gasped like a baby taking their first breath. coughing out the water in your mouth, you fought hard to stay above the water. with your arms extended, you caught hold of rocks. you used all the strength your avatar body had and you hauled yourself up onto the rock.

all you could do was breathe.

in and out. fast and deep. over and over again. in and out. in and out. all that mattered was air even when the beast above snarled and screeched at you from the cliffside.

“fuck…you…” you panted.

while you could’ve passed out from exhaustion there, you couldn’t. you forced yourself onto your feet and leapt from the rock to the riverbed. you fell face-first into the mud. it didn’t matter.

nothing mattered but staying alive.

if the avatar died, you’d be shipped to an RDA labor prison to pay back the billion dollars it costed as best you could before you died.

keep moving, you told yourself. if you moved, you lived. movement is life. an actor named brad pitt had said that in an old zombie movie your dad had once showed you.

movement is life.

that became your mantra.

it was funny. running through the forest for you life, it was just funny that with all the money the RDA pumped into mining and space travel, no one could equip the avatar drivers with GPSs?

irony.

irony and karma.

the fear didn’t kick back into you and rattle your bones until the sun began to set. you tried to find shelter as fast as you could. all you had on you was a knife and a flashlight at your hip. the panther had taken your backpack and tore through it like it was clocked into their shift working for the TSA.

the TSA used to at least give your bag back to you.

you’d be getting no such treatment because you had no such luck in a place like this.

a place like pandora.

it was gorgeous. during the day, pandora was utterly jaw-dropping. at night— you didn’t want to know.

whether it was beautiful or not, it wouldn’t matter. it was horrifying. it nearly brought tears to your eyes as you stumbled through the forest with only your flashlight to guide you.

twigs snapped in every direction. a pack of cackling creatures ran through midnight brush. insects whirred and buzzed. massive leafs rustled in the breeze.

every noise made you jump.

every noise made you grip your knife tighter.

hurrying through the dark, you made more noise than you realized. ragged breaths. rustling clothes. loud footsteps. you may as well have been calling out for any dangerous creature to come and eat you whole.

when you exhausted yourself, you finally stopped.

in a clearing between massive trees, you fought to catch your breath. while standing in the open may have been stupid, at least you could see what sprung out at you first. whether or not you could fight it off was something you would deal with if it happened. for now, you breathed.

you clicked off your flashlight and you breathed.

lowering to a crouch to rest, you kept quiet and you kept vigilant. your breath soon returned. you knew to keep calm. while the anxiety you felt now was primal, it was still just anxiety. with each breath, you focused your mind.

you needed a plan.

you couldn’t keep running in the dark. you had to find somewhere to hide until morning. a cave. up in the trees. somewhere. somewhere away from danger.

the forest was glowing.

it was only once your heart had calmed and air actually got the chance to reach your brain that you realized the forest around you was glowing.

you felt your tail flick as amazement bubbled up inside you. you turned to look at it. you forgot you that the spindly blue thing. it fascinated you almost as much as your braid did.

at its core, this whole thing amazed you.

standing in an avatar body of a navi in the bioluminescent forest of pandora was amazing. while part of you had felt guilt leaving earth— pandora was a wonder you would choose again and again.

you got to your feet and admired the way the grass lit up as you took small steps. you smiled as glowing bugs buzzed by. the more you looked around, the more their was to see. truly. with your flashlight off, the forest lit itself. wonders of all kinds became visible.

a soft laugh escaped you as something white floated around your head. it reminded you of a jellyfish. a small, luminescent jellyfish. you spun as it circled you. your tail flicked and your ears perked as the fascinating little thing seemed to interact with you.

all the fear you felt was gone— but unbeknownst to you, you were in the most danger of your life.

in the tree above you, an arrow was begging to fly free from his bow and strike you through the chest.

as the small jellyfish creature landed in your hand, the sun would’ve felt ashamed to not be as bright as your smile if it were up.

the moment lasted only a few seconds. the floating creature hovered over your hand only for a fleeting moment before it moved up and up and up into the air.

you followed it with your eyes.

your little jellyfish friend was not the only thing you saw.

you could see his gleaming, glaring yellow eyes.

you could see the massive silhouette of his body.

you could see his bow that he held half-drawn.

all the shock you felt seeing his blue shadow in the night was nothing compared to the pack of wolf-like monsters that sprang from the dark and attacked.

teeth and claws ripped at your legs. taking out your ankles first, the pack of monsters knew how to hunt. when you fell, one of the large ones leapt at you. your hands shot out to catch the ugly mutt and protect yourself anyway that you could.

an arrow shot through its head and blood splattered across your face.

a gasp escaped you as the blue shadow jumped from the tree above and sprang into action. arrows flew as fast as bullets. one. two. three dead before you could even fumble for your knife.

a knife was nothing compared to him.

he alone with his teeth bared scared off the pack of horrifying wolves.

you could hardly breathe.

in utter silence, you watched as the Navi male retrieved his arrows. he was mumbling to himself. soft hisses escaped him as he pulled each arrow free from the kills he had made.

“thank you…” you whispered. tried to. you could hardly hear your own voice.

the beads in his hair clicked as he moved. he did not look at you. he didn’t have to. the scowl on his face sent a shiver of fear racing down your spine.

like a newborn deer, you tried to stand. the pain in your legs made you wince. again, you tried to get up but the pain only worsened.

a hiss sent you rigid.

you didn’t have to look up at him. he was crouched beside you with no taste for personal space. he grabbed your legs and tore the fabric around your knees off. you opened your mouth to shout at him but his scowl shut you up.

if he was going to kill you, he would’ve.

if he was going to hurt you, he would’ve.

he was checking your injuries.

“it’s bad, huh?” you asked in a whisper, “it’s really bad, isn’t it?”

he said noting.

all he did was prod at the wounds with his large, calloused finger.

“hey!” you kicked him lightly. “that hurts!”

he grabbed you by the bend of your knee and shoved. your head hit the ground hard as you fell back. tears wet your eyes on reflex. a soft groan escaped you. anger boiled in your blood. you pushed yourself up on your elbows intent on cursing him out.

you stopped as he wrapped your wounds in the fabric he ripped off your pants.

you grit your teeth and kept quiet. it hurt like a bitch. the rough, gritty fabric was unkind to your wounds. despite his never-ending scowl, he was gentle.

“thank you…” you whispered for the second time. this time he heard you.

“do not thank.” he hissed, his voice a deep, sharp slash in the space between you. “you should not thank for this. this is not good. this is sad.”

“i— i’m sorry?” you offered, just wanting him to know that you appreciated his kindness.

he only scowled at you.

when he stood, panic rushed through you. before your mind to race to any awful thoughts about how he may abandon you now, he extended his hands.

you hesitated.

he huffed out of his nose and curled his lip.

you reached for him instantly.

“ah— fuck…” you muttered as you stood. it was an awful stinging pain. it shot up your legs as you put your weight on them.

“very painful?”

you looked up at him as he placed his hand on your waist to support some of your weight.

tall.

so, so tall. a head and a half taller than you. it almost had you tongue tied. all you could do was nod. for a stupid, dumbfounded moment, you nodded like a idiot.

by the look in his eyes, he seemed to think you were exactly that.

the male grumbled. under his breath, he seemed to curse. your brows drew together as he turned around and crouched down. you stood still. your ears pinned back and you tilted your head. his tail began to flick. sharp and fast.

you had a cat once.

cats flicked their tails like that when they grew angry.

he reached back, grabbed your arm, and gave it a harsh tug. a gasp escaped you as you bumped into his back. the realization dawned on you when he brought your hand over his shoulder to his chest.

he would carry you.

carefully, you hooked your arms around him. with a fluidity that stunned you, he rose to his feet. you weighed nothing to him. even as a massive navi avatar yourself, you weighed nothing. his hands curled around your thighs and he hoisted you up higher on his back. you clung close and kept your head tucked toward his shoulder to try and keep his arrows from smacking you in the face.

“thank you— sorry.” you cringed. “sorry. not thank you. im sorry.”

for a moment it was silent as he walked.

“you are welcome.”

something tickled your belly at his response.

your heart was sprinting without you having to run from his acknowledgment alone. your head spun as it tried to keep up with all that had happened. he had leapt from the trees and saved you with no hesitation. he had tended to your wounds. he carried you to safety.

you couldn’t pull your eyes off his face.

his features were sharp. he had a sharp jaw. he had sharp ears. his flat nose was pointed down at the end, still making it sharp. his eyes were sharp. his lips. his teeth. his voice.

everything.

he was like a dagger.

heat rose to your face as he turned his head to meet your gaze. for the first time, he did not scowl. not at first. for a moment too fleeting, he was cat-like. he seemed to look at you just as closely as you looked at him. his pupils dilated and his ears perked— but his face soon became a disgruntled scowl as you stared at him too long and he jostled you as a warning.

you looked away. “what is your name?”

“tsu’tey,” he said after a moment of debating whether or not to answer.

“tsu’tey.” you repeated. it was fun to say. it made you smile. “my name is eris.”

“okay.”

his blunt, simple reply made you laugh. his ears pinned at the sound and he turned his head to look at you. he seemed bewildered by the fact that you laughed. embarrassment made your ears ring.

“uh…so…how old are you?” you asked, trying to keep the awkward tension at bay.

“cannot answer. don’t know how to say it like you.” he said with a small shake of his head.

you bit your lip. you were going to humiliate yourself but you may as well try.

“age?” you asked in navi.

tsu’tey looked back at you. a smile curled across his lips that disarmed you entirely. “i am twenty-five.”

“twenty-five? that’s cool. i— i’m also that. twenty-five, too. we’re the same age. that’s so…cool.” you stammered, at a loss for coherent words.

his smile dropped entirely and he shifted you on his back.

you had never wanted to die more.

“you must be getting ill from their claws. fever is common. we must get to the tsahik quickly.” tsu’tey said with a single nod of his head.

of course, yes.

your state of bumbling idiocy came from wounds— not that fact that a giant blue man had saved you and now carried you to safety on his back. it was a fever that made you hot, not the way his fingers felt around your thighs or the way his skin felt like velvet under your fingertips.

maybe you were having a stroke, too.

burning toast?

no, that was just the earthy, spicy scent of him that made your mouth water.

it wasn’t until he put you down that you had any idea of where you were. there was only one place you could be. you had read about it in the prep books that had once belonged to your sister.

the tree was larger than life.

hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of feet in the air, home tree towered the way colossus of rhodes could’ve only dreamed to.

you hissed under your breath as the weight on your wounds sent sharp pain through your legs. as you looked up at him, you realized there had been softness to his sharp features this whole time.

that softness was gone.

a startled yelp escaped you as he grabbed you by the end of your braid and pushed you forward.

“ow! hey!”

his voice was lethal. “walk, demon.”

with him guiding your every move, you walked. your face burned as you entered home tree. hundreds of navi turned and gasped. they chirped, calling out to inform others there was an intruder in their home. soon, the inhabitants were all too close trying to catch a glimpse of you.

tsu’tey hissed as hands stuck out to touch you. he barked orders in navi that were lost to your ears. so much was. hundreds of voices spoke at once. the chattering was deafening— and so was the sound of your racing heart as tsu’tey brought you in front of the chief.

your mind blanked on the navi title he held — as it had blanked on every word — but you knew who the male decorated in feathers and beads was. his large bow was hooked around his back. his old, sunken face was a masterpiece of stoicism.

beside him with her tail flicking was none other than the tsahik you were here to see.

tsu’tey let you go but he did not go far. not far at all. his hand curled around the hilt of his knife. if the order was given to kill you— it would be him who snuffed the life from your lungs.

you felt like you had been dropped into the middle of the ocean. you were fighting to stay steady. the pain in your legs had you wobbling. the conversation you found yourself in the middle of was lost to you ears. you could only pick out a few words.

kill her?

a question from the chief.

no.

an answer from tsu’tey.

eywa has given a sign.

your head snapped as those words left his lips. you looked up at him, your ears perking. as he met your eyes, his ears pinned back.

you understood. how much he didn’t know, but you understood. you knew more than he imagined you could’ve.

“you are injured.”

you turned your head as the tsahik approached you.

with a slow nod, you signed ‘i see you.’

a collective gasp was one that even tsu’tey shared in.

the tsahik’s tail swayed and she looked back at the chief. he had an expression you found hard to read. without another word, the tsahik grabbed your arm and guided you along. you swallowed your whimpers as you kept up with her long stride.

these people and their grabbing…

you glanced back over your shoulder to see tsu’tey let go of his knife and kneel before his chief.

“sit.” the tsahik demanded as you entered her hut.

slowly, you sat down on one of the mats. the hut was full of herbs, oils, and hanging flowers. a small fire burned in the center of the room. around it, mats lay in a circle. a small wooden table is where she stopped. she gathered medicines and supplies.

“what attacked you?” the tsahik asked.

“uh…i— i’m not sure.” you said with a shake of your head.

“describe.”

you swallowed thickly. closing your eyes, you tried to conjure any glimpse you could remember. “they…they were like dogs. six legs. black teeth. growling and cackling like hyenas. there was a pack of them.”

how the hell would she know what a dog was let alone a hyena?

idiot.

“nantang,” the tsahik said as she turned. she kneeled in front of you and seemed to smile with her ears, as if she found this amusing. “sky people like you named them viperwolves.”

“nantang…” you repeated softly. you’d surely remember that word.

“how did tsu’tey find you?” the tsahik asked as she unwrapped the makeshift bandages from your legs.

you grit your teeth as the air stung your wounds. you tried to sit still. “i was with my group. the other avatar drivers? we were out in the forest doing research with dr. augustine. grace. do you know her?”

the tsahik nodded once. she stuck her fingers into a jar of greasy ointment and began to lather it on your wounds. a soft grunt escaped you at the sting.

“i got separated,” you said through your teeth. you focused on telling your story. it distracted you from the pain. “there was this huge fucking thing that attacked. massive. all black. had these face-flap things that look like this.”

you tried your best to mimic what it had looked like with your hands and the tsahik stared at you with wide eyes.

you dropped your hands and fought the urge to strangle yourself as embarrassment churned in your gut.

“palulukan.” the tsahik said. she wrapped your legs in leafs and tied them with long grass-line twine. “i do not know what your people have called it, but it is very dangerous.”

“yeah,” you said with a small nod. “palulu…yeah, it was that thing. it chased me. i had to jump off a waterfall and i got lost. he found me in the forest playing with um…”

“it was small,” you raised your hands to show the size of the tiny thing. you traced your palm. “it could fit here. so small. it was white. it looked…like a jellyfish.”

the tsahik stopped.

she looked at you.

with blown pupils, she looked at you.

“atokirina…” she murmured.

your brows furrowed. “ato-what-now?”

the tsahik stood suddenly. she placed her hand on your head before she left her hut. you sat in silence. your ears pinned back and your tail swayed across the woven mat.

had she just patted your head?

maybe you weren’t as doomed as you thought you were.

alone in the warm hunt, staying awake began to get hard. it smelled like heavenly incense. the stinging in your wounds disappeared into a cool clam. the fire warmed what the icy river and night air had chilled.

if it weren’t for the urgency to know this body would be safe and the hunger that rumbled in your belly, you had every intention of falling asleep. not only was the body tired but you were tired.

how you could you not be with all that had happened?

not just today.

with everything.

her face was like a bruise on your soul that you hated to see even in your mind. looking at your own face in the mirror was just as hard because it looked like hers.

would your sister have been able to survive the palulukan? would she have had the guts to jump off the cliff? how the hell had you even had the guts to do that? on earth, you worked a shit job servicing food at a drive-and-dine and spent your nights watching old tv cartoons. where the hell had all your courage come from?

looking back; though, you’d always had some courage.

your sister had none.

and she would’ve been eaten alive.

guilt burned in your stomach as that thought resonated in your mind. you pushed it away as best you could. you pushed it all away. none of it mattered now. nothing about earth and your old life mattered. there was only here and now.

just as your eyes drooped shut, the beaded curtain pulled apart. you turned your head to find not only the tsahik but tsu’tey. him and his awful scowl.

“get up, demon. you come with me. it is decided.” tsu’tey said gruffly. he reached for your arm.

“what?” you asked, shaking your head.

“eywa has given us a sign, dreamwalker.” the tsahik said as she crouched to your level. she pulled a thorn from her chest piece and stuck your arm with it. she licked off the blood and smiled. “you are to stay here where we can keep our eyes on you.”

you rubbed at the small hurt on your arm. looking between the two of them, all you could do was nod. you wouldn’t pass up their hospitality. especially not if you knew the body would be safe here.

“tsu’tey himself saw the atokirina bless you. you are his student now. he shall teach you our ways.” the tsahik said. “it is decided.”

you looked up at him.

he scowled at the fire.

how fun…

“alright,” you said as you tried to heave yourself up. your body weighed a thousand pounds and your legs ached still, but you could move a bit easier. “it is decided then…”

tsu’tey shot the tsahik an annoyed expression but she only waved her hand. he huffed under his breath and grabbed you by the arm. he tugged you out of the hut.

“hey, man, c’mon!” you said, pulling your arm from his grasp. you glared up at him. “stop pulling me around. i can walk just fine.”

he only stared down at you. his tail swayed behind him and his ears perked. you could’ve sworn that you saw his lip curl into a smirk.

he turned and walked off.

fast.

“hey!”

you nearly had to jog to keep up with him. when you caught up to his side, he was smirking. this was a punishment. what an asshole!

“you are slow.” tsu’tey said without looking at you. his voice was always so sharp. his accent was thick and it made your ears tingle. “you are weak.”

“climb.” he said, flicking his head towards the center column of home tree. a spiraling, colossal root that acted as a staircase.

you grit your teeth. you hated heights but you hated that smug look on his face even more. you began to climb. he followed behind you. he watched you like a hawk. while his cold, challenging demeanor was as rough as sandpaper— his attentiveness was so sweet it could’ve rot away all your teeth.

he grasped your waist as you slipped. steading you on your feet, he kept you in place. you looked back at him. his hairless browns seemed to raise. it was like he was saying, ‘careful, demon.’

you brushed off his hand and continued on. you had no idea how far he was expecting you to go. you refused to look down. your breath was jagged in your throat and you had never felt more tired. just as your muscles couldn’t take anymore, he tugged your arm. together, you walked along a thick branch as wide as a runway. you followed him into a hanging hut.

it was small. three baskets by one wall. a woven mat across the floor. a bed of furs. small holes in the ceiling to let strands of light in. it was cozy. it smelled of him. you liked it.

“remove those clothes.” he said as he crouched over one of the baskets. he dug through it.

you eyes widened. “excuse me?”

he looked back at you. “remove. the. clothes.” he said again. this time, as if your were an idiot.

when he stood, he held a garment made of beads and a long loincloth similar to his own. standing before him now, you realized just how much of him you could see.

he was broad. impeccably so. his long limbs were slim and his frame was slender but he had muscle. you knew he did. you felt it as he grasped you and carried you through the forest.

bands decorated his arms. a woven leather corset was snug around his ribs. it probably was meant for something tactical but to you it looked like a corset. his waist was small. his legs were long and powerful. around his neck was a collar-like necklace made of hundreds of beads.

his blue skin held the most interesting stripes. his tail was long. a lot longer than yours. it flicked impatiently. his hair was braided back, except for a few pieces with red breads hung by his face. the long braid of his queue flowed down his back. in the dim light of his hut, his freckles glowed.

“now, demon.” he demanded again, throwing the garments at you.

“turn around.” you said, jutting your chin at him.

he narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head. “what?”

“turn.” you said, gesturing the action with your finger.

he scoffed.

“have you no sense of privacy?” you asked with a scowl that seemed to amuse him.

“privacy. human word. meaningless to me.” tsu’tey spat as he passed by you. he made sure to hit you with his shoulder as he exited his hut.

“savage…” you muttered under your breath.

as you undressed yourself, you could hear him pacing outside. he must be paranoid. did he think you would stab him in the back if he turned? wouldn’t you have done that in the forest?

or maybe privacy really wasn’t a thing to him— to any of the navi. less so than humans, at the very least. they did only cover their gentiles with loincloths and breasts with beaded tops. they showed far more skin than the average human did.

dressed in such a thing now, you felt entirely out of your comfort zone. the string of the loincloth rode up your ass. you had to adjust it for it to feel comfortable. the beaded top you wore hid your perky blue nipples, but not much else. while navi breasts were small, your chest wasn’t flat. the human dna used to create the avatar gave the body extra features.

five fingers. hairy eyebrows. the queues extending out from the nape of the neck and not the top of the head. the male avatars had more muscle. they were bulkier than navi-born males. the female avatars were aerodynamic and slim like navi-born females, but their chests weren’t as flat. compared to your real body, the boobs on your avatar were nothing. but the boobs compared to the populaces normal, it was definitely something more.

as you exited his hut, tsu’tey turned. the cold, harsh scowl he wore faltered. you felt something warm tingle in your stomach as his eyes mapped the whole of you. his pupils dilated and his ears perked up as his eyes landed on your chest.

you swatted at him— or tried to.

he caught your wrist and tugged you along. you did not protest. protesting with him did you no good. that was something you learned quick.

“tomorrow, i teach you how to ride.” tsu’tey said as he led you back down the main column of home tree.

going down was much scarier than going up. you gripped his hand and stared at the back of his head the whole time. while he was tense, he did not pull his hand from yours.

“ride what?” you dared to ask. your heart was in your throat.

“pa’li.” tsu’tey said. he glanced over his shoulder. “you call them…horse.”

a horse? that should be easy enough. you used to watch old western specials as a kid. nothing too terrifying about a horse, right?

instead of walking back down to the ground level, you entered a large hollow section of the tree. hundreds of navi gathered. sitting down all together, you realized they were eating.

you could’ve cried. thank you, lord! your stomach felt hollow with hunger for the last hour.

“sit.” tsu’tey said, pushing at your shoulder.

you sat. the navi beside you seemed to shy away. you looked up at tsu’tey but he was gone. he was off to the side gathering food off a long wooden table. when he returned, he handed you the leaf piled with meats, berries and nuts without a word.

you ate in silence across from him. he sat with the tsahik and the chief— the olo’eyktan. you remembered the word. beside them, a strikingly beautiful navi woman. she ate without lifting her gaze.

as her ears pinned back, you knew she could feel you staring. you were quick to look down at your food.

it tasted better than anything you ever had before and you ate with haste. the pain in your stomach ceased and you ate your fill. it was rude not to clean your plate. you made sure to eat every last bite.

when you finished, you looked up to see tsu’tey watching. your ears perked as he flicked his head. you followed his gaze to the long table full of food. it took you a second but you realized he was asking you if you were still hungry.

meeting his gaze, you shook your head no.

he nodded once.

the clan ate all together— and they slept at the same time, too. filing up through the main column, people separated into their designated beds. hundreds of hanging hammocks and nests filled the space between the internal branches. single navi slept alone. pairs slept with each other. families shared nest-like hammocks.

“come,” tsu’tey said, guiding you onward.

as you followed him, you couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes deadlocked onto the back of your head. looking over your shoulder, you saw her again. the female navi. she climbed down into her own hanging hut and disappeared. when she was gone, that’s when you remembered tsu’tey was an impatient jackass who would yank your arm if you didn’t pay attention.

he nearly did but you reacted just in time.

“what’s her name?” you asked. you flicked your head in the direction of her but.

tsu’tey followed your gaze. his shoulders stiffened and his lips twitched. not a smile. a frown. “that is neytiri. daughter of olo’eyktan and tsahik.”

“this is yours.” he said with a lazy point towards a hanging hammock. it was nearby his hut. a branch below. “you sleep now. tomorrow is going to be long.”

“aye-aye, captain.” you said with a salute.

tsu’tey narrowed his eyes as a puzzled expression took over his face. you swallowed hard. slowly, you signed to him.

‘i see you’.

he only huffed out a small goodbye. you watched as he climbed his way to his own hut. he did not look back at you. he disappeared inside and the flap shut.

you sighed and carefully slipped your way into your hammock. it was comfier than you thought it would be. warmer, too. the warm air and soft breeze made it easy to feel drowsy as you laid down. the gentle sway of the hammock made your eyes heavy.

it felt like you had fallen asleep. black muddled behind your eyelids before bright, tunneling white.

all you could see was white.

there was a loud, incessant ringing in your ears.

“c’mon, kid, wake up.”

the white blinding light began to morph into shapes. into colors. into people. a ginger haired scientist. she moved her flashlight in and out of your face, patting your cheek.

“hey,” grace said, her voice coming in clear. “snap out of it.”

sense rushed back into your brain as she snapped her fingers beside your ear. your eyes widened and a gasped cleaved it’s way out of your chest. the whirr of the machine purred in your ear. the bright lights of the room were harsh after the gentle luminance of the pandoran forest.

“are you okay?” grace asked, pushing your hair behind your ears. it was the kindest she’d ever been. “how are you feeling? is the avatar safe?”

“i— i am. i’m good…” you said. your voice was hardly a whisper. your breath came hard and fast. even then, a smile curled onto your lips. “doc, you’re gonna do backflips when you find out where i am.”

[thanks for reading :3 this is a lot of fun to write and i have a lot planned <3 tsu’tey is an underappreciated king and a slow burn romance fic is exactly what the world needs i fear :) see ya next chapter! —moony]

next chapter >

[acourtofquietdreamers]

“Why don’t you ship Elain with her mate? Don’t you know Sarah is a fated mates author?!”

Let’s take a look at Elain’s mate vs….

The person Feyre pictured with Elain and smiled.

“Autumn Court males have fire in their blood—and they fuck like it, too.”…Lucien caught me cringing at him when her words replayed for the tenth time an hour later…I shook my head, trying not to imagine Elain subject to that…fire.

“And I think Elain—Elain would like it, too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet.” I smiled at the thought—at how handsome they would be together.

The person willing to save her himself.

Lucien was shaking his head, panting, and whirled to us. “Get her back,” he snarled at Tamlin over the ranting of the king.

From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

The person who made her feel at ease during their first meeting.

As Lucien took off his jacket, kneeling before Elain. She cringed away from the coat, from him

But Azriel’s attention was on my sister, a polite, bland smile on his face. Her shoulders loosened a bit.”

The person she can sit in comfortable silence with.

It was the most uncomfortable thirty minutes I could recall.

Elain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports—likely information on the Autumn Court that he planned to present to Rhys once he’d sorted through it all. Already dressed for the Hewn City—the brutal, beautiful armor so at odds with the lovely garden. And my sister sitting within it.

The person who knew she didn’t need anything.

Lucien murmured to me, eye still fixed on Elain, “Should we—does she need …?”

“She doesn’t need anything,” Azriel answered without so much as looking at Lucien. Elain was staring at the spymaster now—unblinkingly. “We’re the ones who need …” Azriel trailed off. “A seer,” he said, more to himself than us. “The Cauldron made you a seer.”

The person who understood her and saw her when no one else did.

“Did you sense anything?” “No—I didn’t have time. I felt her, but …” A blush stained his cheek. Whatever he’d felt, it wasn’t what we were looking for.

Lucien just stared and stared at my sister, as if he’d never seen her before.

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not…Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood what gift he possessed.

The person Elain enjoys spending time with.

Elain, at least, would be too polite to send Lucien away when he wanted to help. She was too polite to send him away on a normal day. She just ignored him or barely spoke to him until he got the hint and left.

Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea.

The person she has palpable chemistry with.

Cassian’s heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

The person who gives her a gift that she wants to wear right away.

He and Lucien did not exchange gifts, though the male had brought a gift for Feyre and one for his mate, who barely thanked him after opening the pearl earrings.

“It's beautiful," she whispered, lifting it from the box. The golden faelight shone through the little glass facets, setting the charm glowing with hues of red and pink and white. Azriel let his shadows whisk away the box as she said softly, "Put it on me?"

The person who looks at her and only thinks of her.

But there she was. His mate. She was nothing like Jesminda.

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was. The faelights gilded Elain's unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn.

This supposed “fated mates author” has made it really difficult for me to ship Elain with her mate when a much more compatible option is right there. Four books with moments that solidify Azriel as the person for Elain, mate or not.

[daddysfangirls-dc]

The Arrangement

Ch 2 Exposed

Damian Wayne x OC!Female

Prev | Next

Robin enters the cave to find everyone there, including Duke, who should have been sleeping. The only one missing was Jason. Not for long, however, he drove in, parking his motorcycle next to Robin's and walking past him, removing his helmet and settling it on the counter. It seemed like a him vs them situation as they took one side of the cave and left him alone on the other. He was nervous, a bit scared. In his head, he was going over every possible wrong he had committed recently, but he could find none that would warrant a full audience. They didn't let him stew for long.

Without a word, Bruce hit a button on the computer, and it came alive, revealing a dozen images. The main subject is Damian and a girl in various locations and situations. And while his appearance changed between images, Robin to Civilian, she wore the same outfit in every picture, bearing the scandalous insignia of the League of Assasins. If that doesn't make it bad enough, the center photo was of him kissing her knuckles while she looked up at him lovingly in a bed. Damian stood before his father, sharing the same expressionless face. 

"Explain"

"I see me in various situations with ...my fiance." 

The silence was still, and one would have thought time had stopped, of course, time started again. When Alfred started to stumble, everyone moved quickly. Jason, the closest to him, gathered him before he could fall and pulled up a chair with Duke's help. It was after Alfred was settled that chaos erupted. Damian couldn't say who said what. 

"what the fuck!?"

"You know how to talk to girls?"

"He doesn't even like people!"

"I'm sorry, did you say fiance?"

"She's part of the league?"

"When did this happen???"

"When did he start dating?"

"You're still in high school, right?"

"ENOUGH," Bruce said, silencing everyone. He looked to Damian." Explain. Everything"

Damian 'T T' the truth was bound to come out. " It's an arranged marriage," ignoring the smug look Tim and Jason shared. " It was made between Ra's and Her father. I was always told I was supposed to rule, to conquer. I was supposed to continue the legacy, have an heir, and teach as I was taught. I was five years old when I was introduced to her. She was three. She is the second daughter. I didn't like her at first. But she was skilled. The arrangement was made, and she was my mother's choice."

"Makes sense," Tim said. Dick smacked him upside the head.

"Ra's made the arrangement> He's gone. We can- " 

" I agreed to it," he said, striking his father's conclusion and ending any planning. "After Ra's died, her father approached me about the arrangement. I agreed to continue, and we stayed in communication."

Dick stepped for " Why didn't you say anything?"

"Your reactions were predictable."

"This is the young friend you've been talking to over the years." Now, all eyes were on Alfred. Damian confidence stance starts to flatter, and he nods shyly. " We'll. I'd like to meet her."

"I... she's sleeping now."

"Obviously, it's 3 am, " Tim scoffed. 

"She'll be leaving soon. I'll speak to her tomorrow and see if she can make time for dinner, perhaps."

"Is she a part of the League?" Bruce asked- No, demanded.

"She's not a threat."

" If the League is operating In Gotham- ."

" She's here to see me. Her purpose here is not as nefarious as you want to believe."

"I believe we should take a moment. Maybe pick up the conversation tomorrow." Alfred could see where everything was heading; honestly, it was far too late in the night for such things. It was all too much. Following the orders of their patriarchy, everyone files upstairs to their respective rooms.

"Tim"

"I'm just clearing the screen and saving the files. I'll be up in a moment B" He gave a nod and quickly lef. Alfred would come later and see if he actually did as said. 

-

"Good morning"

"They know." She took a moment. This was definitely not the phone call she had expected this morning.

"How did you tell them?"

"I didn't. Apparently, Drake has been surveilling us for some time. I'm unsure as to how or when it started." Damian was losing his touch when she suspected something, and he dismissed her. She didn't think to question him; it was his city.

" I'm sorry," she apologized. " If I had been more stealthy, more hidden, this wouldn't have happened."

"Don't apologize. It was inevitable. I was a fool to think I could hide it for so long."  Damian was too busy in the bliss of having her to remember to hide her. That sounded wrong. " They want to meet you?" 

"Oh"

"I told them you'd be departing in a day or so. You don't have to." They fell into silence. He heard the chirps of morning birds on his end while she heard the muffled sounds of cars honking from early workers.

"I-"

"Damian?... do you want me to meet your family?" He had to take a moment. Did he want her to meet his family? No, he didn't. He didn't want to introduce her to his family. They hadn't even met her, and they had already formed an opinion, already judged her. And while he knew one meeting her, some would change their opinions of her, others would not and would continue villainizing her until she proved herself worthy. And he simply didn't want to go through that, at least not yet.

"I want you to meet Alfred."

"your grandfather? You want me to meet your grandfather?" '

He was safe. He was good. He'd see how much Damian cared for her and she for him, and he'd look past everything else... hopefully.

"Yes, he wants to meet you as well."

"Damian, I'd love to meet your Grandfather."

[angsthology]

“oh, god, no...” — or an alt title: three people bonding over random things as alex makes a horrible decision

one of his worst ideas ever. he’s never doing it ever again.

a/n ckckckckcck i love u dino anon but i was a bit stumped on where this could go BUT i give u surprise to make it more fun i love love love alex my i wanna say pookie but i cant take that word seriously. also im guilty of oversharing roolore in these suposedly shorter chapters. and now that im realizing things this kinda suck lawl

THE KANGAROO(KIE) VS. THE WORLD

after a long day of media, roo was finally free to do whatever she pleased (that being going back to her hotel and pass out until whatever time her body wakes up). currently, she’s slipping on her backpack and taking her phone out, scrolling mindlessly on her contacts until she found the right name.

“where the hell are you?” she starts, holding her phone to her face. “alright. you wanna watch a movie ‘til we pass out?” she paused waiting for an answer as she walks out of the building, “‘kay, i’ll meet you out front.”

just as she clicked her phone off, she looked up to be met with a face that just… stood there with a smile—making her jump and scream in surprise, catching the attention of people around.

when she collected all her life (that had been scattered when she got spooked) she took notice of the source of her heart-attack. he smiled innocently still, as if he’s done nothing wrong.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

alex, the culprit in question didn’t falter (though he did flinch a little bit at her outburst), he saw this one coming and to be quite frank, he did this to himself.

“i deserved that.” he closed his eyes in acceptance of defeat. alas, he brushed it off, he moved to her side and slung a hand around her shoulder. she was about to shrug him off but decided against it. “how would you feel about helping me pick my next hair color?”

that piqued her interest, she finally looks up to come face-to-face with him again, though now a smile graced her face like a cheshire cat.

his face fell. he was starting to slowly regret his decision.

without another word, a large grin still etching her face, she fished her phone out of her pocket and started scrolling through something. when alex tried to take a peek, she immediately moved away to prevent him from doing so mumbling something along the lines of ‘corporate secrets’.

he made a face at her words. but when she finally showed him her screen, he felt as if the face he made before was a bit premature.

“what the hell is that?!” he exclaimed.

she moved her phone so she could see the picture for herself seeing not what she had opened before but rather a video instead, “oh, sorry, this was from my pitbull concert. he’s great, isn’t he?” she happily showed him the video again.

he gave her another face.

“right, uh, here.” she showed him the correct picture.

he paused. “…what is that supposed to be?”

looking at the picture again, she took a second to think about it then shrug, “neon green/yellow-ish, give or take.”

his mouth drops at her direction. “what do you mean?”

“what do you mean, ‘what do i mean’?” she takes a look at his shocked face then decided to continue, “i mean: neon green/yellow-ish!” pausing, thinking back her words, “give or take!” she pauses again and re-clarified much calmer, “okay, maybe a bit more faded and muted.”

he shook his head, non-verbally ending that part of the discussion.

“where are we even going to get that kind of color?”

she shrugs, “i know a guy.”

the two girls were now currently sitting on the couch, the doberman peacefully laying between them—her eyes too, like theirs, glued to the television playing jurassic park when suddenly a knock came, shifting all three of the girls’ attention towards it.

roo was about to get up to check who it was. being who she was, she had to be extra careful who to let into her living quarters.

“it’s me!” the other side announced.

she looked away from the door and blinked, her brows screwing together in thought until she realized who that voice belonged to.

“alex?” she tested the waters.

“yeah!”

she sighed, her eyes then looking expectantly at the dog that lied beside her, tilting her head as if she were the dog asking their owner for something.

the dog whimpers as if groaning at her request. alas, she jumped off the couch begrudgingly walking towards the door and jumping up to open it.

“he— huh?” alex stopped in his tracks when instead of seeing his friend right behind the door, she was way far sitting on the couch with her friend. she greeted him nonetheless then motioning her hand towards the dog that sat quaintly besides the door, smiling up at him happily.

“oh!” he raised his brows in surprise then bending down to pet the dog who happily accepted, “who’s this fella?” he asked in a high-pitched voice, his accent stronger than usual.

“that’s jet, she’s mine.” roo answered from the couch, jurassic park long forgotten. “what are you doing here?” she asked the brit.

alex then moved his attention away from the dog, his hand still petting her chin, “uhm—i need your help.”

“with what?” her voice slightly gurgling from taking a sip of her drink.

he then holds up the boxes of hair dye with a forced awkward smile.

she gave him a look, “what about your girlfriend?”

“busy today,” he shrugged.

“then do it tomorrow.” she counters.

“okay, fine, i’m bored and alone.” he confessed.

she wanted to help; she really did but—

she groaned loudly; head thrown back to rest on the back of the couch.

“would you believe me if i say my ass is glued and have already morphed into this couch?”

“i would, actually.”

suddenly, from far behind on the other side of the couch—her presence almost forgotten—nika made herself present, “i’ll help. my ass is getting tired of the couch and i’m pretty good with handling people’s hair; i actually spent a summer working in my mom’s salon once.”

roo the gasped, turning around to face her friend with her jaw slack in shock—sarcasm written all over her face—“you had a job? like an actual job? once upon a time?”

“oh shut the fuck up,” she waved off the racing driver and stood up from her seat on the couch over to the other. “now get up, let’s do this.”

about a half an hour into their attempt, nika and alex had set up a mini salon chair using one of the hotel’s dining table chairs with a layer of plastic sitting on the ground. the latter sat on a chair in the middle of the room with a cloth draped over the top of his body. if anyone were to come in through the front door right now, they would assume kidnapping with a side of chemical testing. nika herself had changed into one of her uglier shirts incase they would accidentally get some dye on it.

the alfa romeo driver, on the other hand, still sat where she was the entire time unmoving and un-helping, now having the large dog sat on her lap feeding treats off of her hand while the other scratches the dog between her ears.

“alright. i think that’s all of your hair.” the girl stepped back from her friend’s friend’s hair, admiring the work she’s done. “now we wait. —good luck al,” she said as she took off the plastic gloves that were now mostly green.

alex—whose chair was facing the door for some reason—gripped the chair with his two (clean) hands and moved it around along with himself so he can face the couch. “so…” he looked between his co-worker and her friend, “does she just… go everywhere with you?”

“yeah.” she answered shortly before continuing, “you guys have wags i have… this.”

he looked at nika again, “no offense to you, but—”

“it’s fine, have you met her?” she shrugged pointing at the little shit she unfortunately calls a friend.

he chuckled then continued, “what about daisy-mae? i thought she was your best friend?”

“she is. this one’s just fit baggage claim. plus—daisy’s a serious scholar she’s still very busy getting her degree.”

from the kitchen sink, nika scoffed, “yeah, while she’s stuck with me around the world, mae’s stuck with atticus in college.”

alex the jumped into the conversation at the familiar name, “oh! the drummer, right?”

“yes.”

“oh—hey,” nika turned around from the sink and walked to the closest counter to the two friends, “there’s still quite some left, who wants it?”

as if sensing an idea in the air, jet jumps off roo’s lap and ran into another room.

said girl sighs, “man, knew jet was too smart for trips like this. should’ve known i should’ve brought bennie instead.”

as if the dog heard her, a bark came from the other room.

“whatever. i guess that’s one option out the window,” she turns to nika over the counter, “do me!” she smiles happily.

“alright. your death wish.”

alex, who was momentarily smiling, dropped his previous expression, “wait what—”

te1enoviyuhs

liked by daisymaerose, selvnika, and 836,735 others

tagged: selvnika and lilymhe

te1enoviyuh some notes from yours truly:

lilymhe why did u have to dump babysitting duties

and gooddyeyoung thank u for the hair dye i love hayley williams 🥰

and uh i guess awstenknight thanks for the hookup and free dye

and to everyone else!!!! hey. dump acc just dropped

see all 836 comments.

backbiteroo WHO LET YOU DO THIS

te1enoviyuh backbiteroo myself. i am a grown woman.

selvnika the nika salon is now open for business 🥰

te1enoviyuh selvnika i hope you bankrupt and close

selvnika te1enoviyuh kiss yourself.

norrislftv selvnika ??????

norrislftv OH

alex_albon why was i not tagged 😕 i thought we were twins now

te1enoviyuh alex_albon hm. sure. u wish

daisymaerose hi jet

liked by te1enoviyuh

gaslytv what does... alex mean... when he said... twins...

schupastry this is so random but so cute

awstenknight youre welcome grinch

te1enoviyuh awstenknight 🖕

lilymhe 😬😬 i apologize for having a job

te1enoviyuh lilymhe don’t apologize for that. apologize for not taking ur kid to work.

lilymhe te1enoviyuh that i won’t apologize for.

50kidgaroos BABE WAKE UP NEW DUMP ACCOUNT JUST DROPPED

taglist; @treehouse-mouse @disneyprincemuke @yansbolobao @leilanixx @judespoision @vellicora @bborra

[simblorbo-bracket]

Round 4 - Simblr's Saddest, Wettest Meow Meow - Mainline

Saxen (@herecirmsims) VS. Thrum (@ssspringroll)

(polls are presented left -> right unless stated otherwise)

Who's sadder? Who's wetter? Read on for more information, and vote with your heart!

What is a ‘Meow Meow’?

(taken from tumblr user @/torturelabyrinth) “The thing about a true poor little meow meow is they have to be 1) downtrodden 2) morally questionable at best 3) deeply and pathetically miserable”

Saxen

Things Sax does extremely well: fainting and bleeding (separately), fainting and bleeding (combination), rotting in bed, crying or being completely stoic (no in between), causing more problems while trying to fix his previous problems, omitting certain truths (aka lying).

Now, I don't know if he really counts as an SWMM because he's not a classic villain... but in his pursuit of Doing The Right Thing he has made some awful choices. Good intentions, poor outcomes.

I present the evidence beneath the cut:

Some of his crimes:

In an attempt to save his sister, he left his post and facilitated the escape of a world-devouring entity which he was supposed to help contain.

After his sister died he made another attempt to save her, via necromancy, and instead doomed her to an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Until recently, none of her reincarnations were healthy enough to survive infancy.

He befriended the parents of this latest incarnation without filling them in on the backstory, or his motives. After they were killed by his enemy, he took the baby and kept her hidden for 11 years (did she have grandparents, uncles, aunts? Yes, probably. He claims they couldn't have cared for her like he did and technicallyyyy he's right, since her survival required magic, but...)

He broke the arm of one of his 'adopted' adult kids (he has an enchanted cottage which has been a refuge for a lot of people) when said adult tried to prevent him from killing someone else. Yes, technically he did only push Thom and didn't intend for Thom to hit the wall so hard, but...

Long story short but his home world didn't end, it was just knocked out of its timeline for a while. Unfortunately, due to his actions on the day the Grim escaped (attacking portal guards and forcing his way through the rift, just as an unrelated-to-him group stormed the castle), he was a) assumed dead and b) immediately arrested on his return for treason and attempted regicide.

He's a constant menace and cause of stress to his man, the kindest and sweetest soul to ever live. He doesn't mean to be, it's just that his attempts to keep Fen safe often seem to involve risking himself in increasingly creative and fatal ways.

Why should you vote for Sax? Well, I think his endless complex trauma and the fact that almost all his misfortunes happened because he was trying to fix things/help people makes him pretty damn tragic and definitely very damp. He could do with a win. Plus... look at him. 🥲

Thrum

What makes Thrum a sad, wet little meow meow? His own fucked up, twisted little romance life.

Try to keep up.

Thrum, you see, is incredibly loyal. So loyal, and so, so jealous.

Another thing about Thrum, is that he's polyamorous. He really prefers having more than one partner. His partner, Wither, is not into the whole poly thing. But, for Thrum's sake, he agrees.

Enter Ke'a.

Thrum is the one that notices Ke'a at a bar one night, and instantly has a crush. Has to get him in this newly-opened relationship.

Ke'a is also not too keen on the polyamory, but agrees to give it a try.

He hits it off with Wither almost right away, which is a relief because you'd think that the two dudes in this polycule who aren't into the idea of a polycule might fight over the guy they mutually like.

This is not the case.

Thrum, boiling with white hot incandescent rage and jealousy at the mere thought of either of his partners talking to someone else leads him to violence.

Drinking, to cope with the rage

His outbursts are almost constant, he can't exist in the same room as his partners without further driving a wedge between himself and them. And that's not the end of it, all of Thrum's hot-and-cold back-and-forth feelings about this polycule he built have driven Wither and Ke'a even closer to each other.

They go on dates behind his back, bonding, forming a closer relationship with each other than either of them had ever built with Thrum.

Thrum was always doomed to fail. To push himself out of his own relationship. But can you blame him for craving love? All of the love? Forever??

Thrum, Wither, and Ke'a are all original creations. While Thrum and Ke'a were literally made for each other, Ke'a entered the situation organically, and that's when it all started crashing and burning to the ground.

The throuple that flew too close to the sun 💔

[jess-the-vampire]

For any of your ocs, we're there any What Could Have Beens? Like some stuff that changed over time or an idea you had for them but you changed it because you didn't like it or something?

Sorry, I just like going Behind the Scenes with some things!

Oh there's a lot of that! When you have as many characters as I do and have worked on them for many years, there's bound to be changes and evolutions as you continue to develop them and work on your creation skills.

I guess a good starting point is romantic relationships? Sometimes when I make characters I do design them with the mindset that certain characters will get together with a planned romance arc, and other times I don't plan for it at all and two characters of mine just have such fun chemistry they just kinda....become love interests now??!!

There's a few examples of that, though a notable one is Ashton and Luna, who are kinda beloved by people who enjoy my sky au. When I made Ashton and Cole I didn't even know where to put them (They weren't made with a au in mind, they were put into this au), much less make them into love interests, but everyone loved their chemistry with luna (especially ash) so they have fanart???!! People love them??!!!

I also equally have examples of planned romances that I end up ditching entirely for something else, like another better couple or plotlines outside of romance. A good recent example is currently Dusk has evolved into a bit of a love interest for Archie, giving them a friends to lovers kinda vibe.

But during the process of figuring out these new characters, I first had considered Dusk and Grady to be romantic interests actually. This changed because boy did it not take long before people became endeared with dusk and archie's relationship. (Although really you could still ship them anyway)

Now I also have design evolutions, where I'm not satisfied with a design and they get a nearly complete makeover (edith, melaine) or i add new details to their design over time (once tom was revealed to have a tail in star vs, a lot of his fan kids got them added/ angel was originally created without the spider legs, they were added later)

Though story stuff happens too, like chloe (main character of my original project), was originally a character i made for my video game class in college, and in that game she fought these little slime creatures I called ghouls.

This has.....very little relevance to her story in the project and while I had it in there originally I've basically ditched it because it conflicts with new info I added later. I did kinda evolve it into her fighting escaping creatures on earth before she is returned to the underground tho.

There's also like, stefan, whose plot lines around finding out he's a prince and going to his kingdom to reclaim his crown after his mom kept him traveling with her his entire life and never telling him about his dad. Like he's supposed to just show up and suddenly take a bunch of responsibilities he's not prepared for because he only reclaimed the crown to live a more lavished life. With the royal family having no idea he existed.

And that's all interesting in itself, but I had the concept of him coming home to find out his dad had ANOTHER kid, and stefan showing up means he basically took her place as next in line.

Obviously I've never made any art of this concept, so yeah.

There's a lot of others I could get into but let's get into archie, because his story was ENTIRELY redone rather then partially like those examples.

So all my earlier archie art and content was VERY different and anyone who was there knows it. Originally, hunter created him due to some unfortunate still lingering attachment to belos, seeing archie as a way to almost "give him a second chance at life" kinda way. Hunter was also a single dad still pining over willow, and had a very different job.

However, this is mostly because this early stuff was made during s2, so you kinda had no timeskip ending to build upon.

Archie also wasn't cursed and in fact he had almost an admiration for the golden guards, kinda wanting to be a fighter like them, a symbol of good.

Obviously this is pretty much all gone when I rebooted him after the show ended, archie is now the product of cultists looking to revive belos and was taken in by Hunter, he has both willow and hunter as parents, he's dealing with the effects of his ortets curse, and all stuff relating to hunter's past is...conflicting to say the least.

Though archie is a bit unhealthily obsessed with researching the brothers, obsessed with knowing about them to separate himself. He doesn't want to be compared to belos and yet can't stop looking into them.

There was interesting aspects of his original concept, but i do think this new draft is a lot more interesting for multiple reasons so I'm happy with the change.

So those are just some of the changes and developments of some of my characters! There's certainly more i could discuss but we'd be here awhile, so I hope you enjoyed this insight!

[ririsasy]

Comparing how Deva react when someone touched Varadha (his moon and sun) vs Aadhya (the supposed love interest somehow)

Deva here was so annoying lmao I feel so so bad for Aadhya 😭 I mean when the goon literally grabbed Aadhya into their arms and took selfie with her blatantly in front of him, what did he do? Lmao he just stand there like not reacting or reacting but it’s just so delayed, in the 1st gif he was staring at what they do to her but there’s no uncontrollable instant rage there because he still could hold that tiffin carrier perfectly without shaking even a little bit 😂😂 and he only moves his feet forward after the goon started dragging Aadhya with them.

Compare the shaking rage when Naarang touched Varadha (in video format we could see better how badly his hands shook with anger[1]) even after he had killed the man, separate the head from his body, the anger still fresh in his bones to the point he was still shaking even after they have reached their prison cells, just thinking about it again enough to reignite his fury. He wished he could have killed Naarang all over again for such offense.

But with Aadhywe saw that he could even hold himself back quickly afterward and even went as far as stepping one step back lmao so freaking annoying 😭😭 man your mother told you not to fight, she wasn’t forbidding you from showing your emotions or anything unless there’s none when it’s not about your Varadha, his annoying ass care more about Amma caught him with a cigarette in his hand that he quickly hide it behind his back as soon as he saw Amma 😭 drop the freaking cigarette already boy this wasn’t the time to care about such thing!! Drop the food container too instead just drop everything and quickly show a fist !!!

I am gonna compare even the way Deva quickly form his fist [2] when he was angry for Varadha here, it was spontaneous yet again the fury inside him building up that he couldn't control it, he could unclench his fist only after Varadha basically soothed him with his fingers here.

to the way how long it took Deva just to form a fist when he was saving Aadhya lmao it took him at least 5 minutes (I am not even kidding a literal 5 minutes from the time that goon grabbed and dragged Aadhya to Deva finally throw the first punch, Prashanth really is not serious at all to make them as love interest) even though you’re not gonna use your fist but show some real anger to us audiences with your body language boy 😬 react!! That’s your future baby mama (say sike) as your director intended boy.

Let’s compare Deva’s reaction when it is his real baby mama that his heart desire Varadha. At first Naarang looked only at Deva, Deva immediately accepted his fate, he looked down ready to die for his own action, it was him who killed Vishnu during the ceasefire so he was ready to die for that, he’s okay with his fate because he didn’t regret his action it was the right thing to do and for his conscience.

But then Naarang looked over Varadha, this was just a mere look okay, Naarang shifting his gaze from him to Varadha and this little movement of an eyeball enough to make Deva react instantly, look how immediately he was moving in front of Varadha to shield him even from Naarang’s gaze, only then he experienced dread in his bones, his face looked so panicked, only now he felt the weight of his action. This man is insane when it came to Varadha’s safety you can’t play with it at all.

Then when Naarang step one step forward, Deva already sprinting toward him because no, not Varadha, not when he’s still breathing he just couldn’t handle it, his whole being couldn’t handle the possibility of seeing Varadha to be in any kind of harm when he’s right there with him and he was the cause for Varadha to be in that danger.

Only then he knows regret, now he is regretting his impulsive action (even though it was the right thing to do but if it caused Varadha's life, he rather not do it, he basically was wishing he could turn back time so he didn't have to kill Vishnu, selling his own principle even his own soul and conscience) because the price is too great which is Varadha's safety that's why suddenly this strong capable man who just killed dozens of people plead, pleaded with his hands clasped together in front his chest, there's fear in his expression he was so desperate, he went as far as begged on his knees, anything he would do for Varadha.

It resonated with what Amma said 7 years after this event like either plead or make them bleed, just stop them (the way you did back then when you desperately want to save your loved one, oh Amma have heard this story from Bilal again and again and this was definitely the call back for that action) because Deva did both for Varadha, he will plead for his safety, will be on his knees begging and definitely (as last resort) will make anyone who dare to lay their hands on Varadha bleed.

Deva looked so damn pitiful I feel so sorry for him, the whole court room was watching, this was honestly another declaration of love from Deva just like the way he did 25 years ago when he held the electric wire in his hands and bleed for Varadha in front of the crowd putting a nose ring back to him with his own hand. I mean you have to be blind or deaf in Khansaar after this blatant display of devotion in front of the entire courtroom from Deva to Varadha to not understand that Deva belongs to Varadha body and soul.

I know how scared Deva was in this moment because he didn't even flinch or heard even Varadha's own warning anymore to just stop, because just like Deva, Varadha was also so ready to die in Deva's state (because for Varadha he was the one to blame, he brought Deva to this wretched place that is Khansaar knowing damn well of his hero complex and his impulsive tendency to fight what's wrong and Khansaar is full of all the damn wrong things).

Deva's focus was solely in making Naarang to stop going toward Varadha, he was just getting knocked with the back of that sword on his head but he quickly get back up to put himself between Varadha and Naarang again, and went as far as grabbing Naarang's shoulders forcing him to face him and yet again making himself as a shield for Varadha with his body so Naarang couldn't even look at Varadha.

Also in this moment when they taunted to touch Aadhya, oh Deva was mad, I mean who wouldn't be mad when you see a girl getting harrassed right in front of you, but the eyes weren't actually murderous kind of mad and he still could hold himself back, he was angry for Aadhya because she didn't deserve to be treated that way, because it was just generally wrong and anyone with conscience would be furious for Aadhya's sake and would love to teach those goons a good beating lesson.

But with Varadha it was so damn personal, Varadha belongs to him and no one should touch him, the way his expression flipped instantly to murderous intent [3] as soon as Naarang touched Varadha, and he wasn't even looking but he was that offended!! I mean also the way he was ready to jump at Vishnu's men who "only accidentally" brushed Varadha's shoulder but his fury was something else if Varadha didn't stop him he definitely gonna beat them into pulp too.

The conclusion of Deva's action (reaction) in this essay is that was the case of common rage, natural rage in the face of evil wrongdoings when he was fighting for Aadhya because that was the right thing to do because he was a capable man for that VS the instant uncontrollable rage that's so personal it offended his entire soul when he was fighting for Varadha because he was protecting the one he considered his family, part of his own soul, the one who we usually call a lover.

If I was Aadhya I too would have laughed pitifully at myself lmao for falling for a man who already have his own moon and sun that he would do anything for

Comparing how he was reacting when he was saving me to when he was with his own baby lmao “damn that man is clearly not right in the head. A true maniac and it’s all for Varadha’s sake.” . Aadhya is pretty much aware to whom Deva belongs to after she listened the full story from Bilal about their relationship, just like Radha Rama who said that Deva is Varadha’s Salaar, Aadhya said “Varadha got himself a maniac” lol everyone with eyes and perfect ears listening to their story alone enough to understand and know that these two men belong to each other and no one can come between them. (And definitely not a new girl from USA who just came to Deva's life maximum 7 days 😭 girl just go home. It's 7 years + 25 years + 10 years of pining against your 7 days. You have lost before even fighting this battle girl.)

[hanmaitani]

When vs If

PAIRING - Oikawa Tooru x Reader WC - 3.1K GENRE - Angst SYNOPSIS - You said 'if', when did it stop being 'when'?

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

You had convinced yourself that you were overreacting. Nothing was wrong. You were being paranoid based off of past experiences. You had convinced yourself, or he had convinced you. You were imagining it when you thought he was acting like something had been bothering him.

You were only being insecure every time you asked, just to make sure, when he was acting like something was wrong, when he swore nothing was wrong and he was just tired. "Are you going to break up with me?"

Tooru had convinced you that you were overreacting when he always replied with the same answer. "Of course not baby, you're never going to get rid of me. I'm here to annoy you for the rest of our lives."

He convinced you to ignore the gut feeling you had about it. Just three days ago, when you were driving to look at apartments, he brought up just building yourselves a house, just like how you wanted to. Told you that eventually, when you moved cities, it could become a summer vacation home and they could build another to raise your kids in.

He convinced you when he talked to his family, telling his nephew about how you were an addition to the family. When his family praised you for taking care of him.

You always took care of him. More than he asked.

You packed him lunches and made breakfasts and dinners. You made sure the laundry was done and tried to clean. You made sure to remind him to take care of himself too, to not overstress himself the exact way you did.

Every time you crashed down and thought that maybe your love was overbearing, that you didn't get the same reciprocation. Every time you asked "are you going to break up with me," he assured you that he wouldn't. He'd pepper your cheeks with kisses and hold you while you sniffled back your tears.

Ending college was hard. There were so many unknowns. Finishing up the last project of the year was infinitely harder. You were way past your deadline for it but you had an indefinite extension. The only limit was the one you put on yourself, getting it in by the end of summer.

The concern of where you would live the next year only added to it. You and Tooru's original decision of no roommates had morphed into him slowly trying to push the idea of sharing a space. A last resort, he called it.

You worked two jobs trying to prepare to move, trying to avoid the stress of thinking about it. To make sure that you had enough money for the new place. So once you got there, there would be no more worries.

Today was the end to a long week. Sunday. Your last shift until the next Monday. You'd agreed with T0oru to take the whole week off to pack your house and move into a storage unit. You were both supposed to crash at Makki and Mattsun's until you'd heard back from the complex you were putting an application into tomorrow.

You were off by 3pm, your boss having let you off early so that you could go home and start packing. You'd lost track of time since then, a show playing in the background as you packed all the clothes that you wouldn't need for the next three weeks (just to be sure).

It was almost 8 before you decided on a small break. Almost 8 until you realized that you hadn't heard from Tooru all day. The only thing bringing this to your attention now, was his name finally popping up on your phone

He was supposed to be off at 8:30. Just 30 more minutes before he would be coming home and you could make your official plan about how to tackle the upcoming week and everything else moving forward.

He'd sent you a snapchat with a filter on, little horns coming out of his brown curls and a silly look on his face, tongue poking out at you. You'd laughed and sent one back quickly. Silly pictures sent back and forth and only a small bit of conversation as you waited for him to be finished at work. 'How was your day today?' 'Long.' 'Yeah, me too. I'm so exhausted.'

It was finally time for him to be off, you could tell by the way that the scenery behind him changed from inside the gym to the open sky of the parking lot. You decided to ask if he wanted to get the food you'd been craving.

From y/n <3: How do you feel about getting pizza when you come home?

That was when the dreaded text came in. The worst thing you could say to an overthinker.

From Royal Pain <3: Okay. I just want to talk to you about something first.

Your heart stopped in your chest. Sudden pressure, tightness winding from your heart and consuming your lungs.

From y/n <3: About what? Should I be anxious?

He took too long to open it and the bubbling anxiety forced you to hit call on his number. You were greeted with the rumble of his car engine when he picked up. "Should I be anxious?" You repeated the question out loud and he sighed.

"No, no sorry." He apologizes and sighs again. "I know that was suck wording, I just wanted to sit down and have a conversation about some things."

You could hear the tightness in your voice, like your anxiety circled each word as you spoke. "Okay, what things?"

"Love, I'm gonna be home in like 5 minutes and we'll talk."

Your legs moved on their own accord, lifting you off of your shared bed and taking you downstairs as he spoke, your need to pace arising. Pace to get out all the anxiety that built inside you.

You didn't want to push him. "Okay, I love you, Tooru."

"Love you too, I'll be right there."

You found yourself in the garage, carried by your feet subconsciously. You'd tucked yourself safely into the little corner of the couch you and your roommates had kept in there. Brought your knees to your chest and covered yourself in a blanket.

You were trying to will your anxiety to stop. He promised he wasn't leaving. He just wants to talk.

"What are you doing out here?" Tooru asked when he found you after looking through the house. "I thought you'd be in our room."

"I had anxiety and just kinda ended up here." You mumbled and he nodded in return. You waited for him to sit next to you. He didn't. He stayed standing. "Tooru, can you please tell me what's up?"

He took a deep sigh before starting. "There's a few things that have been bothering me about our relationship and I just want to try and talk them out before I keep bottling them up. Before they get so bad that they aren't fixable anymore."

You felt the anxiety building up even more and you winced. You had been doing something wrong. Like always. And then there was a quick rush of anger.

He had said 'keep bottling them up.'

He had sat there and convinced you that you'd been imagining it. He had convinced you that the gut feeling you had about something being wrong with him was fucking incorrect.

You wanted to scream. All you did was whisper. "Okay."

He listed out his reasons and you tried to stay quiet. You tried to listen. To look at him. But every time you looked at him you could see him breaking your heart a million times. You couldn't hold the contract for very long.

You were trying to not cry. You were trying to explain yourself when he said there was something you did. You were apologizing. Apologies formed in the frame of: 'I'm sorry.' 'I didn't realize I-' 'I did it because..."

You never got to finish your reasons with another "I'm sorry if I hurt you." You were trying to get there but he always cut you off.

"I don't get why you have to argue with me." He exclaimed the last time he cuts you off. You pause. Was that what you were doing? Had you been arguing? "I'm just trying to tell you what's wrong so we can fix it."

"I'm not trying to argue!" You defended yourself. "I was just explaining why I did it so you could see where I was coming from." You wiped your palms against your cheeks in frustration, trying desperately to keep the tears back.

"It's easier to fix if we get where the other is coming from, we can find somewhere to meet in the middle." You whimpered at the eyeroll you knew he'd done subconsciously. "Please, this is hard for me. It feels like you're breaking up with me."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, shaking out some of his curls. "I'm not breaking up with you. I told you that." The words should have been comforting, but something about them made you more on edge. The tone in which he said them. Exasperation.

"Yeah," you scoffed, your anger getting a hold on you a little more, trying to protect yourself, "you also told me, repeatedly, that nothing was wrong." His eyes snapped back to you but you quickly looked away. The second that he looked at you softly, you would do anything he asked. You would lose yourself. Lose your will to fight for yourself to be heard.

"Now here you are, telling me that you were lying to me." You could feel a tear escape and you quickly brushed it away before he could take it in. "How do I know you were telling the truth every time you said you weren't going to leave me?" It was harsh but it was the truth you needed to say.

"Why don't you believe me? Huh?" He was raising his voice, something he rarely did, especially at you. "Is it trust issues or what?" He spit the words out, like they tasted bad on his tongue and you could see him fling his arms in the air from the corner of your eye.

"You are always 'your tone of voice' and 'your body language says'... God! Can you not just believe me!" He ended it with a groan. Frustration or annoyance, you couldn't tell, maybe it was a mix of both.

"I'm sorry, I just pick up on the way you act and underlying tones, it's a bad habit, I'm trying to stop." You were trying to drag your eyes back to him. He was looking down at you, standing instead of sitting on the couch with you, shaking his head at your responses.

"You can't just believe me? I don't get your whole thing about tone and whatever. But if we get married one day-"

You cut him off quickly, your full attention going to look at his face, to see if he realized what he'd done. "What do you mean 'if'?"

"What?" Genuine confusion crossed his face as he looked back at you, confused at the wide-eyes look across your own face as you looked up at him. You knew that terror was visibly seeping into each of your features.

"You said, 'if we get married one day'."

"Yeah." He shrugged his shoulders in indifference. "And?"

"When did that become 'if'?" You asked the voice quietly, your voice barely rising to an audible level. You were afraid of the response. "Its always been 'when we get married', 'when we have kids', 'when'." He sighed and bit his lip out of what you assumed was his own nerves. "It's always been 'when' for me and I thought it was too. So when did 'when' become 'if'?"

"I don't know." He took a step back away from you, turning his body slightly away from you. It didn't go unnoticed by you. "A couple months ago?"

You scoffed in disbelief. A couple months. He'd been lying to you for a couple months. "Okay," you whispered, "you wanna know why I read into tone and body language?" You asked the question and he only rolled his eyes again. You didn't care, you kept talking.

"You just stepped away from me when you were talking about that. When you were talking about mentally changing the way you thought about us being together long term, you physically put distance between us. How am I supposed to take that?"

"You're not supposed to take it any way!" He exclaimed. "I got tired of standing without moving."

"Okay, why do you have to be standing, you can't put yourself on the same level as me. You have to be on a different level, to have all the control in this conversation. Like you've decided how this conversation ends."

"Oh my god!" He shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop fucking reading into everything!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe that he had to deal with this. to deal with me.

"You want to talk about body language? Then what the hell does it mean that you can't seem to look at me this entire conversation when all I've been doing is looking at you!"

"That I'm worried if I look at you I'll cry. That I don't want to cry because I know you need this off your chest and you'll blame yourself and stop if I cry." That if you look at him, at Oikawa Tooru, the man you decided was the love of your life, then you would see what you saw the very first day you met him and he gave you that saccharine smile. You would see him breaking you into a million pieces.

"Please just sit down." You whispered, begging him.

"Seriously?" He scoffed but collapsed on the other end of the couch. He sat closer the the front edge of the couch and leaned far back into the seat, a position that screamed about how he didn't care. "This is really better for you?"

You winced at the harshness of his tone. The condescension seeping through his words. He thought you were being ridiculous and he was making it clear. You hated it, but it was better than him standing and physically looking down at you.

"Yes." He sighs and shakes his head but stays silent. "Let's just talk through this and we can fix it. We can find a compromise." You swallowed hard trying to explain. You were trying the 'I'm going to stop doing...' It was fine for a little while. Until you started to ask for things in return too.

"I will try to stop raising my voice, I just need you to tell me I am. I don't realize it a lot, we have different views on yelling. I need you to tell me."

"I do!" He was rolling his eyes but staring straight ahead, no longer at you. "I say, 'why are we yelling?' is that not telling you that you're yelling?"

"That's not what I mean, I can't tell you why, I don't understand it, but it doesn't click for me. It makes me think you're talking down to me and I know you don't mean to. I just need you to tell me 'y/n you are yelling right now'."

He puffed air out of his nose, hands running through his hair again. "That doesn't fucking make sense. I don't understand how your brain works." You could feel the tightening in your chest becoming overwhelming. You didn't understand it either. "Whatever. Fine."

"Could you help me around the house too? I know I've been slacking on some of the chores like groceries and laundry, but I need help. You only ever get groceries if I'm already going and even then, sometimes you don't come. And I always do your laundry too but you only ever do yours unless I ask you specifically."

They were small things to you, things you didn't mind doing, but you knew you needed help. And if you were attempting to change for him you needed something back. Something to help you ease up on your stress.

It went on for a little longer, what you thought were minor requests being met with annoyance and hesitation. Until he stopped responding all together. It was like you could see it happening, him disengaging, the gears slowing down in his head as they settled on a solution.

"Please talk to me." You begged for it. You couldn't let him get caught in his head. "Don't go quiet. Tell me what you're thinking." Your voice was quiet and wet, tears threatening to spill more than they already had. "I know you're getting in your head. I can see it happening."

He shook his head softly, no eye roll paired with it this time, no irritation at you. He was staring blankly at the wall in front of you both, his fingers rubbing into his temple. "I'm trying to decide if this is even worth it."

You froze in place, your body turning into a statue, watching your world crumbling around you. "What?"

"I don't know if this is worth it." He said it plainly. It was just a fact. No emotions attached to it. You were pretty sure that you could physically feel your heart tearing in your chest. "Is this even something worth fixing? Is it worth the effort?"

"What do you mean?" You squeaked out the words. This had to be a nightmare. You were sure of it. "Of course it's worth it to try. It's us. Years of us, of course it's worth trying." You were sure you would wake up in the morning and it would have never happened.

"Tooru, look at me please." He turned his head slowly, an apologetic look in his eyes. You would wake up and this would've been a scene your anxiety created in your head. "Tooru, are you breaking up with me?" You would open your eyes and still be waiting for him to come home from work.

His eyes looked glossy, but he nodded his head. "I'm so sorry."

All of the times you thought about it. All the times you had thought 'if he breaks up with me,' you had never thought 'when he breaks up with me'.

a/n thanks for coming to the free therapy of fictionalizing my irl breakup experiences. and yes. this was the actual way it happened

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