#Wars and Ledge are chaotic

[simp999]

Hi! I saw your requests were open and thought I'd pop in to ask How Would The Mercs Reach To Their S/O Picking Up Phrases Or Slang That They Use! Bonus points if S/O also says phrases in the Mercs' native tongue ^^

THIS IS THE STUFF, PEOPLE!!!! I love this prompts so much oh my gosh, thank you so much for requesting!!! I may have gotten a tad carried away with Sniper's part, whoops..

Merc's Reactions to Their S/O Picking up Words/Phrases/Slang That They Use - drabbles

Total wc: 2.4k

Mercs included: All

Masterlist

Scout:

After being around him for such a long time, it’s not too surprising that sometimes you’d accidentally slip into a bostonian accent for some words. But the first time Scout caught you saying one of his lines was in the middle of battle. - Your two classes didn’t really mesh too well, so you wouldn’t be near each thother too often. Which means that he has no idea how long you’ve been doing this for.

You hadn’t noticed Scout run behind you after noticing you turning a corner. You jumped down from the ledge, spotting an opponent right below you. With a big swing of your weapon and a crit hit that landed perfectly on the back of their head, you shouted:

“Hah! Take that, chucklenuts!”

Scout couldn’t help but laugh at that, feeling pride wash through him. That means you think he’s funny! It’s not a direct complement, but it sure feels like it for him. It probably didn’t help that you yelled “BONK!” as your hit landed, too. It didn’t really matter to him if you guys ended up winning that battle or not, because that was a big enough win for him. (Though, you did end up winning with how much quicker he was on his feet.)

It really just made him fall even more in love with you.

Soldier:

Hearing him go on about war and America so often eventually meant you using references some times, or throwing in a few words relating to those things at times. It’s happened before where your team was right close to losing, so the opposing team felt more lax and confident. You were the start of the comeback, killing their Medic, and shouting:

“It ain’t over 'till it’s over, Maggot!”

Soldier didn’t even catch the fact that you used one of his most common nicknames. It just kinda flew over his head.

Of course, it wasn’t just words and phrases that you’d stolen from him - It’d be wrong to say that you didn’t get a bit more chaotic, too.

The one that struck him right in the face, though, was when you sacrificed yourself for him, while killing multiple enemies. You had shouted “Death before dishonor!” as you did. 

It had landed you the victory.

After the battle, he had quickly picked you up and threw you on his shoulders, holding your legs in place as he marched on. He gave you a whole speech about how “YOU DESERVE A MEDAL OF HONOR, CUPCAKE!!”

Pyro:

-Uhhhh

.

.

-jk, as if I’d leave my favorite firebug out ;)

Obviously, mimicking any common phrases of theirs wasn’t really possible…but! I can promise you that they only fell harder for you when you started adapting their little tweaks to sign language that they tended to use. One thing that was very common of Pyro to do was to use the short form of “I love you”. They loved the fact that it was so much quicker to do, and easy, and it’s so simple!

There’s a good chance that you weren’t completely fluent in sign language when you first showed up as a merc, so you had Engineer and Pyro gladly help you. So, that’s what made them even more excited to see you pick up on their mannerisms.

Because you knew the right way to do it. Pyro knows this, because they’ve seen you either learn it with Engie, or do it before.

Their favorite thing was seeing how you got more comfortable with sign language with time. Your movements are so much less stiff, and much quicker. It’s almost second nature to you now, and they can’t express how happy it makes them!

Though, lots of cuddles and gasmask kisses seems to do the trick.

Heavy:

Heavy caught you the first time you said it. His favorite step in your relationship was the night he decided to call you милая (milaya). You two were snuggled up next to eachother after a long day of battles, enjoying eachother’s warmth. (He’s a human heater, so this happens pretty often.) He wasn’t really expecting you to catch it, throwing it in the middle of his sentence to try to hide it. - He’s still a bit nervous about trying new things, you know! - But, you had indeed questioned him on what it meant. He merely explained that it was a term of endearment, and he struggled to find similar english words and ended up fumbling with Honey, Darling and Sweetie. Your face had gotten a little warmer at that, but you had expressed how much you liked the name and he had began to use it since. Now, it simply rolled off his tongue with ease when talking or calling out to you.

Ironically, it was nearly the same situation, only months later. You two were once again cuddling after a long day, though much more tired. This time, you two were laying down on Heavy’s giant bed with him on his back and you on your front right on top of him. You were almost out like a light, but you had noticed that your throat was dry. A glass of water was within Heavy’s reach, so you had mumbled in a groggy voice:

“Mind passing me that glass of water, милая(Milaya)?”

The way you said it without the russian accent almost tripped him up, but he froze right before picking up the glass for you. He figured you must have meant to use his nickname, Misha, or even his actual name, Mikail. He didn’t ask you about it, as you were asleep before he could form the right sentence. 

It had plagued his mind for a while though, and may have made his face go pink a few times during battle. 

Engineer:

Do you guys have any idea how wild some southern phrases can be?? Imagine picking up on that! But I won’t go into that, instead, imagine adapting his southern conjunctions. Ya’ll, ain’t, Y'all'd've. .. okay maybe not that last one, but still.

Something more common that you most likely picked up on was sometimes no longer pronouncing the G at the end of words. Fixin’, attackin’, goin’, etc. Just like Scout, you probably also had a few words that slipped into that southern accent.

But by far, the most common thing you did was drop the G and use ‘y’all’. Dell definitely noticed, and probably poked fun at you at times.

“Ya’ll wanna play darts or somethin’ later?” You head poked into the common room, where most of the usual mercs were hanging out, already drinking beer and chatting away. He’d let out a snicker, then follow it up with something along the lines of:

“Yer startin’ ‘ta sound a lil’ too much like me, Honeybee.”

He definitely gently teases you about it, “correcting” you if you “forget” to use the southern version of whatever you said.

“Don’tchya mean ‘ya’ll’?”

Demoman: (small gore mention)

Man, don’t get me started with all the weird stuff he says. The thing is, he doesn’t often use the same insults, so you don’t end up picking up on the more obscure ones. You might slip and say “ya” instead of “you”, and you might pick up on using “bloody” to accentuate what you’re trying to say. You might also pick up saying “aye” to get people’s attention. 

He thought it was absolutely adorable, and would often follow through with whatever you said with something of his own. 

You really wanted to use your favorite line of his on the battlefield one day, but he just so happened to be with you when you got a sweet domination, taking an opponent’s head clean off. You kinda forgot that he was with you, as he was focused on another opponent, so you let the line slip:

“Hah! They’re going to have to glue you back together… IN HELL!”

You weren’t expecting him to notice, or at least make it obvious that he did, but he immediately called out after you:

“AYE, THAT’S RIGHT YE BLOODY BADASS! THA’S HOW IT’S DONE!!” 

Medic: (Gore mention)

It’s common for Medic to use filler words such as "eh, ah, um, er, eheh, aha, ja", and you’ve adopted that little habit. He finds it adorable that you started copying him!

Though, he definitely treats it as an experiment, as he does with most things. He also probably tallies it up. Like, he’ll just be having a conversation with you and have his notepad handy, and he only stops tallying when it seems like you might be catching on.

He’ll purposely use one of the filler words more often than others to see if you’ll do the same. It works! For some you begin to use them right away, others may take a while of exposure for you to start absentmindedly saying them. 

The first time you used a german, non-filler word was in a fit of panic.

You had been practising some stuff on some subjects that Medic had allowed you to borrow. Of course you were interested in experimenting with bodies and animals, even people, sometimes! -You got with Medic, this is to be expected. - He knows he’s taught you enough for you to be safe to do this type of stuff on your own, and he allows you to use the medbay whenever. 

He had walked in to tell you to come take a break to have something to eat, when you accidentally cut your hand with a scalpel. Without a second thought, you quickly let out a hushed “Scheiße!” before turning around to take care of the wound, spotting Medic. He didn’t have time to question you about it, since taking care of you was the only thing on this mind at the time.

Sniper:

The first time it happened was when Scout had asked you to hang out. He apparently wanted to show you something cool, but you were busy making yourself a snack. Mundy had just walked into the kitchen when he heard your reply; 

“Cheers! I’ll be free in a bit!” 

Scout didn’t seem to notice anything. Or if he did, he didn’t mention it. He just started rambling on about whatever cool thing he was about to show you. Sniper didn’t want to bother you when you seemed genuinely interested in Scout’s mostly one-sided conversation, but if you had looked over at him, you would have been able to spot a slight raise of his brow and the tiniest hint of a smirk.

The second time was when Demo had accidentally spilled some of his scrumpy on you. He was extremely apologetic, but you kept reassuring him that it was alright.

“No wuckas, Demo! I’ll just go change real quick.”

Yet again, you walked off before he could question you.

The third time got him backstabbed. 

Though he’d never admit it, he often sometimes watched you through his scope, wanting to keep his S/O safe. This time, you just so happened to be semi-facing him, when you ran into a sticky bomb. You had noticed it a moment too late, so you weren’t able to dodge it. You only had enough time to mutter a quick “...Piss.” before being sent to respawn. Sniper was able to read your lips, and he couldn’t help but snort and let out a chuckle, not allowing himself to listen to his surroundings.

Finally, you did it when it was just you and him in his camper van. The two of you were bored and looking for something to do, when you had spotted something behind Mundy. You gestured towards it;

“Hey, wanna pass the deck of cards, mate?”

He froze for a moment, then he allowed his smirk to grow. You sat in silence, wondering what was so funny. He noticed the look of confusion on your face.

“Mate… really? You’re not doin’ that t’make fun of me, are ya?”

Your brows only furrowed further together, “What, what’d I do?” 

He never called you ‘mate’ anymore, not after the two of you got together. Usually, he called you ‘Roo’ or ‘Love’.

“You called me ‘Mate.’”

“I-” You look at him in disbelief, finally making proper sense of his previous sentence. Then a smile began to slowly grow across your face, “no.. did I really?”

“Yeah, you’ve been playin’ parrot for a while, now,”

You shake your head and cover your face in embarrassment as you lean into his side. You hadn’t even noticed!

“S’alright, Roo. ’S pretty funny,” he snuggled a little closer, only to give you a small peck on the temple, “n’ cute, too.”

Spy:

One thing for certain was that he very rarely used your actual name. It was always pet names and names of endearment- always french ones. 

‘Mon amour, mon coeur, ma/mon chèr(e)’, etc. And since you hung around him so much, it wasn’t rare to hear him use french swears and insults dropped in conversation every so often when talking about past battles and such. Once, he had accidentally spilled his glass of wine, and he uttered “Merde..” under his breath. The same thing happened when a burnt piece of his cigarette had fallen onto his suit, though this time he had said it a bit louder. He’d called people ‘con’ or ‘connard’, ‘crétain, putain,’ and many more. One that was a little more common around the others was ‘ta geule’, or ‘ferme ta geule.’ You eventually learnt that it meant something along the lines of “Shut up”. 

One day, when you were extremely frustrated with an overly obnoxious opponent who really enjoyed taunting you, you muttered:

“Ferme ta geule, connard!”

As the opponent fully came to face you, trying to make sense of the words you had let out, they got backstabbed. 

You were simply a distraction. 

Though, that didn’t stop the way Spy’s cigarette fell from his lips as he finally thought twice about what you had said moments prior.

“Mon amour, it’s best you don’t start using those words too often.”

July.27.23

[bectoshi]

risk - bokuto koutarou

:: bokuto knows you as well as he knows himself. all he asks is that you trust him.

!! female reader, fear ig??, jumping off a bridge into water, nothing bad happens, heights, cursing

miniseries masterlist

you were completely and utterly convinced that bokuto koutarou had lost his mind when he first proposed the idea to you. 

his earlier pleads of just once and you won’t regret it now echo in your mind, fragments of a distant memory.

because here you are, up on the wooden railing of some bridge on the side of the freeway while cars and people pass by behind you, blissfully unaware of the war currently taking place inside your mind. 

he had helped you up and is still holding your hand as you remain unmoving; eyes locked on the cloudy sky above and condemning yourself for every one of your decisions leading up to this moment. 

on both sides of you are groups of friends and other couples, taking their own turns diving, doing flips, and, for the unfortunate ones, bellyflopping down the nearly 20 foot fall into the waves below you.

but directly to your right is bokuto. 

and despite the death grip you have on his hand, his hold on yours is firm and steadying. you’re okay. you’re safe with me, he seemed to wordlessly say.

“tell me what’s going through your mind, gorgeous. if you really don’t want to then i’ll help you down. but ’m right here with you when you decide.” he smiles, genuine.

first it’s his calloused hand giving yours a reassuring squeeze. then, it’s the encouraging glint in his eyes. anchors to the chaotic whirlwind that was your mind. 

you do trust bokuto. and you do believe that you’re safe with him.

so your hand disconnects from his the same time your feet lift off the wooden ledge. 

at first you feel the wind. everywhere. that, and the kaleidoscope of butterflies beating in your stomach.

the two second fall feels like an eternity. 

it’s a shock when you finally reach the ocean. the water is cold and salty and it invades all of your senses. it was also quiet. serene.

immediately disturbing your peace is the sudden surge of bubbles and recognizable flash of light colored hair among the water’s dark ripples. 

you gasp for air when your face breaks the water’s surface. and, true to his word, you see bokuto paddling towards you; the huge smile he wore adorning his features.  

“atta girl! i knew you could do it!” his pride in you is unmistakable. you know how he can never hide his excitement. 

“that was fucking amazing, kou!” you’re now wearing matching grins. it's hard not to return his smile when he looks at you like that.

you had always wondered how to respond when asked the overdone hypothetical of if your friends jumped off of a bridge, would you? 

now, you swim back to shore alongside bokuto and you know that the answer will always be yes. as long as he was by your side.

“let’s go again.”

[yourplayersaidwhat]

All of these were said in today’s pathfinder session.

•

Kineticist (OOC): “To be fair, I don’t think she cares about innocence.”

Barbarian (OOC): “Wow, thanks for the brilliant insight into the mind of our token evil teammate.”

•

DM: “What are we doing?”

Barbarian (OOC): “Arguing over the probability that you can fuck the other horny people in horny jail, keep up.”

•

Gnome Bard, to Summoner (OOC): “I like that your dice are either really big or really small.”

Barbarian (OOC): “Oh, so you’re into size difference, eh?”

•

Barbarian (OOC): “Welp, I physically can’t damage this guy. Anyone up for a game of War?”

•

Vishkanya Bard: “We’re going into the closet.”

Gnome Bard (OOC): “Yay, we’re gay!”

•

Vishkanya Bard (OOC): “It’s the rage song!”

*Rainbow Connection starts playing*

•

Gnome Bard: “Food?”

DM: “It’s decayed.”

Gnome Bard: “How decayed?”

DM: “It’s decayed.”

Gnome Bard: “But, like, a little bit, or?”

DM: “De. Cayed.”

•

Vishkanya Bard: “PERCEIVE.”

•

Barbarian: “Listen, if you want to get your token evil teammate to do something even mildly morally neutral, you’ve gotta make it selfish.”

•

DM: “He’s a demon of sadistic torture, cruelty, and bloody murder.”

Barbarian, to Summoner (OOC): “Sounds like your kinda guy.”

•

Gnome Bard: “I pee off the ledge.”

The entire rest of the party + DM: “WHY????”

•

Vishkanya Bard: “PERCEIVE! 9!”

DM: “COTS!”

Vishkanya Bard: “FUCK!”

•

DM, to Summoner: “She worships him, right?”

Summoner: “No, he worships her.”

Barbarian: “Simp.”

•

Barbarian: “Ropes or… ropes.”

DM: “They’re ROBES.”

•

*book gives V-Bard damage and forces her to drop it*

V-Bard: “Hey Summoner, come look at this book!”

•

DM: “That’s human blood.”

Kineticist: “Oh. Lovely.”

G-Bard: “Can I lick it?”

•

Barbarian, sarcastic: “Well this guy seems… mentally healthy.”

DM, sarcastic: “He seems totally over the death of his brother.”

Summoner, chaotic evil and entirely sincere: “I like him. We could be friends.”

Barbarian: “We know.”

•

G-Bard, in a voice: “The pit of despair!”

Barbarian (OOC): “… Was that Elmo?”

•

Barbarian, panicked: “MMM. This is so normal I like this so much.”

•

DM: “The child’s dead.”

The entire party: “WHOOOOO!”

•

Kineticist, to DM (OOC): “What does it do?”

Barbarian (OOC): “It sits there and bes* full of eyeballs.”

*pronounced beez, as in the word be in the same tense as sits

•

Literally any time anyone made a sex joke:

“Roll for horny jail.”

This does nothing mechanically except make us laugh.

[memphisnovels]

Evermore

Chapter 36. How did it end?

Previous chapter

Masterlist

This is a longer chapter than most, we cover a lot of ground here! Sorry in advance for what everyone is about to go through <3

pairing: Pietro Maximoff x OFC

warnings: a whole lotta angst, canon-typical violence, mentions of PTSD, hurt no comfort, poor Rhoadey

The wind tousled my hair, sun brushing over my cheeks as I watched the trees dancing in the breeze. I sat atop a cement ledge in a multi-level parking lot, feet dangling over the edge, hands braced on either side of me. My shoulders were aching from the tension that had lived there for days now.

It had been around 20 hours since Ross told us we had 36 to patch this up. Tony had arrived back in New York to follow up on whatever the hell he had planned, he also informed me that Wanda had left the compound with Clint. I was at somewhat of an impasse. It was now an immovable fact that Steve wouldn’t back down and even if it was in Tony’s character to concede, he had Ross and the guilt of Charles Spencer’s death looming over him. I’d signed the accords… because it was the right thing to do, it was the path forward. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I repeated that to myself it still failed to ease my warring mind. That inner conflict was no doubt what had led me here.

“Something on your mind?” The familiar voice asked.

I sent the tall blond man an unamused look over my shoulder, but the corners of my lips quirked ever so slightly. “Not really no.” I joked, swinging one leg back over the wall so I was facing Steve. “What’s that thing people say about the shit hitting the fan? I don’t know if we’ve reached that point yet or if it’s still coming but either way things have gotten a little chaotic for my taste.”

He breathed a short laugh, nodding in agreement. “How are you feeling? You took a lot of damage back at the headquarters.”

“I’ve had better days.”

A flash of dark hair over Steve’s shoulder caught my attention, Barnes leaned against the passenger side door of a small hatchback, looking down at his crossed arms. “I know you don’t trust him, and I understand why, but you saw what happened back there, it isn’t just me caring about an old buddy. That doctor activated him on purpose, and my guess is that he’s manufactured this whole thing. Bucky didn’t kill King T’Chaka… but I think you’ve already figured that out or you wouldn’t be here.”

I didn’t respond right away, thinking over his words. “I need clarity. Only he can give it to me.” Steve and I both glanced toward Barnes then. “That is why I’m here.”

“Where’s Pietro? I would’ve thought he’d be less than happy for you to be here after everything.”

“He thinks I’m taking a walk to clear my head.” Was all I supplied in response, still watching Barnes carefully. It felt utterly bizarre, to be approaching the Winter Solider in this environment; to be seeking him out at all. Although, he did not look like the Winter Soldier right now. “Are you going to try to kill me again?” I asked when I stood before him. He shook his head, glancing up at me for only a moment before looking back down.

He mumbled something then; it sounded like sorry but that seemed unfathomable to me, so I chose to move on swiftly.

“I don’t have a lot of time, so I won’t waste it asking stupid questions. They never called me ‘114’ in the Red Room so I’m gathering we met before.” He nodded; eyes still downcast. “Where did we meet then?”

It came as a surprise to me when he actually responded. “There used to be a hydra facility in Serbia, it was off-the-grid, confidential, every operation based there was strictly need-to-know. It’s where you were kept before you were given to Dreykov. I was assigned to you, the mission was to oversee you progress and keep you confined, make sure you didn’t interact with other subjects.”

“I don’t understand, if there were other…” I swallowed heavily, “subjects, why were you only assigned to me, aren’t you a little overqualified?”

The lack of eye-contact was beginning to bother me, particularly as it became evident that he was quickly reverting back into silence. “That is how we met, what else do you want from me?”

His response, or lack thereof, incensed me. I was exhausted and my body ached from the lack of sleep and him throwing me through a glass wall. “Just answer the goddamn question, you owe me that at the very least.”

There was silence between us for a long moment and then he finally met my eyes. “Because you were a high-profile experiment.”

The words turned my stomach. A high-profile experiment, how flattering. “You know where I came from?”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “I didn’t have the clearance to know anything like that about you, that’s partially why I knew you were so important. They weren’t exactly forthcoming about any of their plans, but that level of secrecy… the clearances, the constant conditioning, it was different from any of the other subjects.”

“Hydra tested me for genetic potential… they probably just thought they could get a good price from Dreykov, that doesn’t mean I was significant to them.”

There was silence again then, the air was thick with uncomfortable tension, anticipation for what was to come. “It wasn’t about the money. You had genetic potential of course, but that wasn’t enough on its own to make you worth it to them.” He met my eyes then, gaze encased by shadows and maybe even a little mercy. “Their conditioning didn’t work on you, Nadia. Not at first anyway. They didn’t just want you to forget yourself when it was beneficial for them, they wanted to leave no trace of who you were, but even when their tactics started to affect you, you would remember. Every single time. The conditioning never stuck.” His words only confused me more, none of this explained why he suspected I was important to Hydra. However, his words did move me, if he knew all of this that meant he knew me before, before I lost every part of myself that was real, everything that was not manufactured. I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted him to continue. I’d once said I did not want to know about all the things that were taken from me, but now I didn’t know what I wanted. Before I could figure it out, he was speaking again. “If it had taken even half that amount of work to manipulate the minds of any other subject, they wouldn’t have seen it through, Hydra were dedicated but they didn’t see the subjects as humans. If one became too troublesome, they would have just disposed of them. They weren’t known for being merciful, and yet, with you they were steadfast, no effort spared. That isn’t business as usual… it’s personal.”

“I was a child; how could it have been personal?”

Nick Fury’s words echoed through my head.

You were too young to have made yourself a target.

I knew what it meant. I wasn’t the target, just a pawn in a much bigger plan. I didn’t wait for him to answer. “You saw them experimenting on my mind, so you know how they made me forget, can you tell me how to undo it?”

He shook his head. “I only saw parts; I wouldn’t even know where to begin in undoing it.” I remained silent at his response, taking in everything he’d told me. “I take it the mind-manipulations wearing a little thin these days. What do you remember?”

“I remember the ballet, Giselle and Swan Lake, it took me a while, but I remember it now. I remember being told my name was Nadia and that I was an orphan born in St. Petersburg, and I remember the Red Room. You trained me… I remember that, but I also remember that you weren’t always there. You left.”

“I didn’t leave, I was sent away. You don’t remember?”

That seemed to be a common problem for me lately. “Remember what?”

“It took hydra all that time to figure out the right method to break your mind, but even when they finally found it, the conditioning didn’t stick. It lasted a while, years even, but when you were a teenager, it started to wane… you started to remember.”

His words had my stomach churning, how could I not know that? I was a teenager, this was happening to me in the Red Room; how did I not remember now. “What does that have to do with you?”

“Dreykov thought my presence was encouraging you to remember, because we’d known each other before. So, they put you back through conditioning and I was reassigned.”

This was a hell of a lot to take in but there was still something else on my mind, a lingering question that I couldn’t seem to move past. “Before, you said you were sorry that I’d trusted you, what did you mean.”

He didn’t respond right away, directing his eyes downward once again. The internal torment he was going through was evident. “When you were first taken by Hydra, I was assigned to watch over you, like I said before. You were just a little kid, but every day you would try to talk to me. You’d ask me questions about myself, where I was from, my family, you were very… insistent. When I would ignore you, you’d start telling me about yourself.”

That sentiment brought me to a standstill. “What did I tell you?”

He shook his head, expression more somber than ever. “I don’t know. That wasn’t something Hydra were too willing to let me remember. But, for whatever reason you seemed to want to tell me all these things and wanted to know them in return. It didn’t really matter, not at first. It became a problem when somehow you triggered my own mind to start fighting back against the conditioning. Hydra knew your own conditioning wasn’t working because I reported everything back to them and when they realized you were making me remember they had me punish you.”

I wasn’t so surprised by that part. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Don’t thank me.”

I nodded, swallowing heavily. “It isn’t your fault… I don’t blame you.” He finally met my eyes again then. “I’m not exactly the president of your fan club, but… I don’t blame you.”

Then the unthinkable happened, the corners of his lips upturned almost imperceptibly but it was enough for me to notice. I turned then, beginning to walk away from him but his next words stopped me in my tracks. “I do remember one thing about you from before. You had a brother, I don’t know why that part stuck, maybe because of how much you talked about him, but, for whatever reason I remember it… you loved him a whole lot.”

My eyes were brimming with tears before I even had time to register the stinging sensation. It was as though I had no control whatsoever over my own bodily functions. I’d never had such a strong reaction to such a simple statement before but here I was holding my breath in an attempt to control myself and quickly wiping at the tears. I nodded again, still not facing him and not speaking another word for fear of my voice shaking. Just before I left the parking lot, I saw Steve talking to Sam. The former turned to face me as I approached, Sam departing to take a phone call. I recognized the look on Steve’s face instantly.

“You’re not going to try to recruit me, are you?”

He just chuckled. “No, I’d never dream of trying to tell you what to do.” In his eyes, there was a certain somber resignation that concerned me. It was not a look that made me optimistic about the future of the Avengers. “But, between us, I think there’s a logical choice, the one that seems like the obvious course, and then there is the choice that you’ll be able to live with.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. “The accords are the right thing.”

His lips pushed together into a frown. “Nadia, you can’t really expect me to believe that’s how you feel, whether you like it or not I know you a lot better than that. I’m not going to tell you what to choose, I respect you too much to do that, all I ask of you is to do only what you sincerely believe is right.”

My gaze dropped downward, unsure how to respond. There was a war raging in my mind and now with the information from Barnes I was finding it hard to focus on just one issue.

“You know, you are in so much trouble, maybe Natasha and I are bad influences on you.” I taunted, a weak attempt at diverting the conversation. Or maybe I just wanted to delude myself into thinking things were as they had been. “The longer this drags on the harder it will be to come back from.”

He nodded, that same look in his eyes that told me it wouldn’t matter what I said. “Well, we’re already in trouble, so what’s a little more.”

“Now I’m sure of it, Natasha and I have corrupted you.”

Steve breathed a laugh. “Probably.” He paused for a long moment, looking out at the trees and the blue of the sky before continuing. “Signing the accords… it’s giving up too much, I can’t do it, you know I can’t.”

I did. I had known that from the moment the accords were given to us by Ross. Although, I had hoped the stakes would be a little less. “Okay.” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. “Well then… I assume I’ll be seeing you.” Steve nodded and I paused, my phone was buzzing in my pocket, and I just wished I knew the right thing to say, to do, to fix this. “I hope you know he means well… Tony is just trying to make things right, the guilt of what happened to that boy, Charles, in Sokovia is eating him alive. Don’t take it personal.” I wasn’t sure why I needed him to know that so badly.

When he smiled then, it was real; genuine. “You’re a good friend, Nadia, a good person too.”

I didn’t respond to that, not verbally at least, instead saluting him teasingly. There was a soft smile spreading across my lips though. When I was leaving the car park, I answered Tony and Pietro’s text messages, informing them that I was on my way to the meeting point.

Steve’s words were heavy on my mind. There is a logical choice and then there is the one I’ll be able to live with. I thought of the footage Ross had shown us, all of the destruction, the chaos and loss, I thought of Charles Spencer and how devastated Tony was, the look on Pietro’s face after we returned from Laos. Then I thought of the Red Room, I thought of Dreykov and how it felt to be told my body belonged to my country, not to me.

This is how you become a patriot.

All of the things I’d been forced to do because it was for my country, for the greater good. I recalled being forced to watch other young girls be killed because they were compromised. If you went against the rules, you were a traitor, and traitors must be made examples of why you obey. I remembered Dreykov lifting my hand to aim the gun at Oksana’s head because she didn’t follow the rules.

For 12 years my life had not been mine. More than that really, out of the Red Room I was a free agent, but the truth was I’d traded Dreykov for Fury. Different circumstances but in both I obeyed, I played by their rules and in both I watched it crumble or be derailed. Hydra invaded S.H.I.E.L.D. had I not stepped back from my duties there I might have unwittingly followed Hydra’s agenda.

The sound of Oksana’s cries still haunted me, her pleas to spare her life filled my head as I made it to the meeting point.

There was a logical choice. One that might lessen the body count and reduce collateral damage. The choice that would yet again render me a lap dog to another institution.

Then there was the decision I could live with.

A streak of blue and silver whirred past me, Pietro stood before me with raised eyebrows, arms crossed over his chest. “That was a very long walk.”

“I had a lot on my mind?” I offered sheepishly.

He huffed exasperatedly but didn’t verbalize his frustration beyond a simple “Mhm.”

Tony turned toward me then, gesturing for me to follow him toward his private jet. Very few words were exchanged between us as he typed a code into the screen on the interior wall, causing a panel to shift open revealing the new suit he’d built me. I was once again awed by how perfect it was but then I narrowed my eyes at the man before me. “Is this really necessary?”

“Well, given how well the last conversation you had with Barnes went I figured you might want a little extra padding this time.”

I sighed, running my hand over the suit. “So, this is going to be a fight.”

“In a perfect world, no, but Cap’s not really known for having flexible ethics. I can’t imagine him ever standing down, so I plan on being prepared for whatever outcome eventuates.”

Tony eventually left me alone so that I could get dressed whilst he went to talk with Natasha and Rhoadey.

The new suit really was impressive. Only Tony Stark could build something this… extra. It was just a shame that its maiden voyage was under these circumstances. Footsteps echoed behind me, Pietro’s face appearing in the mirror. He leaned his arm over the top of one of the jet seats, something clearly bothering him. I turned to face him then, he wore his new suit as well, midnight blue and silver.

“Everything okay?”

He shrugged. “I was just going to ask you the same question.”

I ran a hand down the front of my suit, sighing quietly. “They’re not going to change their minds about any of this. The only way this ends is with a fight. So no, I’m not exactly ecstatic about all of this.”

“I get that, but that’s not what I mean, and you know it.” I raised an eyebrow at his words prompting him to continue. “The way you’ve been talking since all of this started, it doesn’t sound like you’re 100% in it.”

“I signed the accords, didn’t I?” The rhetorical question was my only reply as I looked down at my hands.

It was his turn to sigh, and he ran a hand over his face. “No more bullshit answers. Are you having second thoughts about all of this?”

“Of course I’m having second thoughts. How could I not be? This isn’t just some random group of villains or criminals; they are our friends and Wanda is your sister.”

“And they made their decision.”

I shook my head, before pressing the pads of my fingers into my temples to stave off the oncoming headache. “You don’t seriously think it is that simple. I know you don’t.”

“This is the only way to keep her safe… The only way to protect Wanda, and to protect you too.”

“But it isn’t what either of us want.”

He took a step toward me. “So, what do you want then?!” The sudden jump in volume almost startled me. “You signed the fucking accords, that was your decision because it was the right thing to do, and you know it! What is so damn conflicting?”

“You’re being an asshole right now, Pietro.”

I crossed my arms over my chest as he expelled a sigh of exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes shutting tightly. “I know, sorry. I just-”

“Hey, you guys it’s go time.” Rhoadey called, popping his head in for a brief moment.

Pietro and I stood before each other quietly, neither of us moving just yet. He opened and closed his mouth multiple times, clearly at a loss for words, so I made the first move. I stepped toward him, placing one hand over his cheek, thumb smoothing over his cheek bone. The truth was I didn’t know what to say either, there wasn’t anything I could say to soothe him because I did not want to lie to him. I was terrified right now, partially because I knew how things were going to go down and partially because I knew what my decision was.

My second hand pressed to his other cheek, and I pressed a tender kiss to his lips. There were no more words exchanged between us before I exited the plane.

By the time I caught up to Tony and Rhoadey on the tarmac Steve had already pled his case, explaining all about the crook psychiatrist who’d purposely triggered the sleeper agent in Barnes as well as the other super soldiers that were currently on ice and likely the doctor’s next target. Natasha had positioned herself behind Cap while Pietro went to find Wanda and the spider-kid that Tony had recruited was perched on the hood of a luggage shuttle after having locked Steve’s hands together with his strange webbing. T’Challa stood on the opposite side, scanning the area, likely searching for Barnes.

I glanced toward Tony, hoping to see something shift in his demeanor, anything to suggest he saw the other side of this. I didn’t find anything.

“You've been busy.” Steve said, glancing over at the kid.

“And you've been a complete idiot. Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep…” Tony looked away to collect himself. “I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.

Steve was undeterred by his words. “You did that when you signed.”

“Alright, we’re done.” Tony stated firmly. “You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. Now! Because it's us. Or a squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction about being impolite.”

Cap didn’t respond but he glanced off further down the runway toward a hanger. I furrowed my eyebrows, every muscle in my body tense with the anticipation of what would happen next. The blond man lifted his webbed hands above his head, an arrow soaring through the air within moments, slicing the restraints clean off.

The kid started speaking but before he could finish his sentence a man spawned out of thin air, kicking him off the shuttle and returning Cap’s shield to him. “Oh great.” Tony muttered. “Alright there’s two in the parking deck, one of them is Maximoff I’m gonna grab her, Speedy meet me there. Rhoadey and Nadia you wanna take Cap.”

I looked towards Steve as Rhoadey announced that Barnes and Sam were in the terminal, prompting T’Challa to jump into action.

When the fighting began, I found myself frozen to my spot on the tarmac. For, perhaps, the first time in my life when a fight broke out, I didn’t know what to do. These people are my friends; my family, I didn’t want to fight any of them. Cap threw his shield at T’Challa to stop him in his pursuit of Barnes and Rhoadey flew in to join the fight. I didn’t think I just moved, slipping in in front of Steve to block T’Challa’s punch with my arm.

“What are you doing?” He asked me angrily.

“I’m sorry, please, don’t take this personally.” I offered before swiftly moving to knock him off of his feet. I sent a high kick toward his head, but he ducked to avoid it, attempting to punch me in the ribs but I twisted and caught his wrist, using the momentum to flip him over. He managed to land on his feet, taking a swipe at me with his claws which I avoided by flipping backwards and kicking him in the chest on my way causing him to fall onto his back.

I turned over my shoulder to see a tiny truck morph into a massive full-sized truck that was hurdling toward Rhoadey, the explosion of the crash sent me tumbling. A hand extended toward me and when I looked up my eyes met Steve’s. “So maybe you’re not so sure about the accords after all?”

 “Well, you don’t have to be annoying about it.” I grumbled as I took his hand and moved back to my feet.

A man in a red and silver suit stepped forward. “I just have to say I’m a really big fan, this is a huge moment for me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You were small before, like a strange little bug.”

He nodded, shrugging sheepishly. “Choosing to see that as a compliment.”

Despite the situation my lips curved upward. “We need to go.” Cap said, gesturing for us to follow as he began to run down the tarmac. I followed hesitantly, not long after Wanda and Clint appeared, joining us, followed by Sam and Barnes.

The Quinjet was in sight when a blinding light appeared before us, searing into the concrete in a thick line, narrowly avoiding my toes. I looked up to see Vision hovering above us the stone on his forehead glowing. “Captain Rogers. I know you believe what you're doing is right. But for the collective good you must surrender now.”

Tony arrived then, flanked by Natasha, Rhoadey, Spider-boy, T’Challa and Pietro who watched me intently. A glance down revealed that my feet were straddling the line in the concrete, one foot on either side. All eyes were on me now. I swallowed heavily meeting Pietro’s eyes, hoping that he could see the remorse in them as I stepped over completely, taking a few steps toward Steve who nodded at me.

Tony raised his arms questioningly. “Seriously?”

“What do we do Cap?” Sam asked.

“We fight.”

Both sides began to approach and within moments the fighting had begun all over again but now it was everyone and the hits were much harder.

When I came face to face with Pietro it seemed surreal, unfathomable that we could be at such odds again. It reminded me of a time before, a time that now felt like a lifetime ago, before he knew me, before I knew him. His eyes were frantic as he approached slowly. “I guess we are supposed to be fighting.” I spoke.

I could see the violence from my peripheral, people who’d once been friends; family even, throwing punches and leaving bruises. “I’m not going to fight you, Nadia. Just listen to me.”

“Pietro, I don’t want to fight anymore either, but I’m not going to change my mind… I’m sorry I can’t go along with the accords… I can’t.”

He clutched his head for a moment before running a hand through his messy hair. “I understand. I get why you have reservations about authority and being controlled but…” I narrowed my eyes at him as he seemingly searched for the words. “Sokovia was destroyed… mine and Wanda’s home, obliterated. We did that. Our enhancements, this unimaginable power, cannot go unmanaged. It’s too dangerous.”

“Okay. You feel responsible for what happened, I get that. I’m not saying we should opt out of the fault; we were all involved, but this is not the solution. What happens when there’s a conflict that our intervention can help but the government disagrees? What happened in Sokovia was a tragedy, but a lot of people’s lives were saved by what we did as well what would have happened if we didn’t step in. I see your point, but my mind is made up, I’m not going to be something harbored by the government for their use whenever they see fit. I’ve done that. I won’t do it again.” I tried to be gentle, to keep a level-head, to preserve this thing between us but when I looked into his eyes it was different, there was still this strange feeling settled deep within my chest that something was inherently broken here. Whether it was our fate all along or whether the cracks began to form when I read the Hydra documents, I wasn’t entirely sure.

His voice was filled with frustration as he spoke, so much so that it almost made me flinch. “You don’t want to be used as a weapon. That much I get, but do you really not see that this is exactly what we are? Weapons… Nadia, what was done to you in the Red Room was monstrous but there was a method to that madness, they controlled you because they knew what they were creating, and that kind of power could not go unchecked. They instilled a killing instinct in you so of course they had to manage you. That is what Ross is trying to do, they just want to oversee us because they know it’s too dangerous to let us roam free. It is for the greater good.”

It was worse than taking a bullet. So painful it nearly knocked me over. There was a searing ache in my chest as he spoke, I barely even heard him now. I took a step back from him, eyes dropping to study the cracked concrete by my feet. “You think that what was done to me was for the greater good?” It sounded nothing like me and suddenly there was a thin papery feeling filling my limbs. I hadn’t felt this way since I was a child, since I was trapped in those walls, blood all over my hands, scars littering me like reminders. The sound of a trigger being pulled, again and again, cold gunmetal against my forehead. I felt it all over again.

He opened his mouth to respond but never got the chance as a beam of red threw him backwards. My head shot over to see Wanda glaring at me. “You’re pulling punches, Nadia.” 

“So, you fight him, he’s your brother.” I managed, turning quickly to walk away. My chest ached and each breath was a struggle to swallow.

As much as I tried to delude myself that maybe things would be fine, maybe everything could go back to the way it was, there was no denying that things had irreversibly shifted.

“Not exactly the most opportune time to switch sides.” Natasha’s voice called from behind me. I caught her punch as I turned swiftly but she was expecting in and twisted her hand around to overtake my hold on her wrist and pulled me forward to trip me over her leg, dropping me down onto my back and pinning me with her arm. She smiled at me. “We’re still friends, right?”

“Depends how hard you hit me.” I taunted, pulling her down and locking my legs her arm and shoulder before twisting around rapidly to flip her over onto her stomach on the ground while I swiveled around to my feet once more.

Nat moved to her feet as well, watching me carefully. “You really aren’t on our side anymore?”

I swallowed heavily, glancing out at the wreckage around us, the punches being thrown, the friendships being torn apart. “I can’t do it, Natasha. You know I can’t.”

She nodded, once, twice. “Yeah. I guess it just feels different now that it’s really happening.”

I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off by Barnes’ words. “We gotta go, that guys probably in Siberia by now.”

An orb of red threw Natasha back as Wanda landed beside me, narrowly avoiding Rhoadey’s line of fire.

Steve spoke up next. “We gotta draw out the flyers. I'll take Vision. You get to the jet.” He gestured for me to follow Sam.

“No, you and Barnes get to the jet!” Sam responded, taking off to evade Rhoadey. “The rest of us aren't getting out of here.”

Clint nodded, fire several arrows to cover us. “As much as I hate to admit it, if we're gonna win this one, some of us might have to lose it.”

Cap looked back at me looked at me for a long moment, before glancing at the chaos behind us once again. “Nadia…” He trailed off, clearly unconvinced by this plan.

“I’ve gotten myself out of worse situations. It’ll be fine, you have to go, you cannot let that maniac doctor activate the other Winter Soldiers. You need to shut it down. We’ll cover you.”

“Alright, what's the play?”

“We need a diversion, something big.” Sam responded.

The shrinking man was the first to offer something. “I got something kind of big, but I can't hold it very long. On my signal, run like hell. And if I tear myself in half . . . don't come back for me.”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “Are you actually going to tear yourself if half?” I spoke, hearing Barnes offer a similar sentiment in unison.

“I do it all the time. I mean once . . . in a lab. Then I passed out.”

“You're sure about this, Scott?” Steve asked.

After hearing Scott’s reassurances, we all agreed and the man set off, leaping from the mobile stairs to grab onto Rhoadey’s back. I narrowed my eyes, wondering how this was an effective diversion. My question was answered almost immediately when Scott suddenly morphed into a towering behemoth and grabbed a hold of Rhoadey’s leg. My mouth fell open, as I watched the scene unfold before me.

“Okay, tiny dude is big now. He's big now.” Rhoadey panicked over the comms.

“I guess that’s the signal.” Steve said glancing back at me one final time.

My shock at Scott’s display became secondary as I spotted a streak of blue and silver beelining for Cap. Pietro knocked him off his feet but the moment, he was stationary long enough I jumped onto one of the luggage shuttles before leaping off of it to tackle him to the ground. He groaned at the impact rolling away quickly and moving back to his feet. “Go!” I shouted to Cap and Barnes. “But if I find out this whole come-to-conscience remorse act is bullshit…” I looked Barnes directly in the eye then. “I’ll kill you myself.” He nodded once, meeting my eyes for a fleeting moment before turning away and following after Steve.

 When Pietro was on his feet again, he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Really?”

I moved into a defensive position despite the way it killed me to do it. “I don’t want to do this.”

“Oh? But you seem ready to.” He retorted.

He lurched forward, but I evaded his attack and blocked the next jab as well. For a while I stuck to this, merely blocking and dodging, realistically, there was no real force or skill behind his hits anyway. There was anger sure, but these were strikes meant to hurt. “You’re holding back.” I said.

“So are you.”

The sound of a building crumbling and crashing caught my attention. Both Pietro and I looked over to see the control tower collapsing over the entrance of the hangar that Steve and Barnes were headed for. Wanda was barely managing to keep the tower afloat when Rhoadey emitted some kind of frequency that had her grasping her ears and the building crashing down around the two men. The distraction was enough for Pietro to tackle me backward pinning me to the ground. “Stay down, Nadia, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“Sorry, but you know it’s not in my nature to make things easy for you.”  I slid my arm to press across his chest while my right leg shifted upward to push my knee into his stomach as I flipped us over swiftly, planting his back into the ground.

Another crash sounded, this time it was Scott toppling over, taking the spider-kid with him followed by the Quinjet soaring through the air. I stood quickly but was tripped by Pietro just as soon as my feet were on the ground. He’d used my classic move against me, hooking his ankle around mine and sweeping my feet. Now, I was pissed. I evaded his grip, rolling over him and situating my body behind his on the cold ground. I wrapped him into a chokehold, legs locked around him from behind. I had control of his movements, but my grip was loose over his airways, still allowing him to breath easily. “Stop fighting me!” I managed to get out.

“No! Not when you are this out of control.” I held onto him tighter as he thrashed against me. “This isn’t right, you know that the accords will protect people… but you don’t even care.” That stung, I’d admit. “This is bad, Nadia, even for you.” That cut deep, just like he knew it would.

All at once I let go of him, shoving him away from me and moving quickly to my feet. “Fuck you!” I spat, eyes stinging, stomach churning. 

“Sorry, I don’t mean it like that… this… it’s just…” He couldn’t find the words because it is what he’d meant. Even if it wasn’t he never got to finish the sentence because before he managed to spit out what he was saying our attention was pulled by a beam of light emanating from Vision that soared right up toward the Quinjet, no doubt aimed at Sam who was tailing Rhoadey but when the former diverted courses to evade the beam it hit Rhoadey in the chest, searing through the heart of the suit. The lights shut off and suddenly he was plummeting rapidly toward the ground.

“No.” I muttered, taking off into a sprint toward the field that he was headed for. Tony was hurtling toward him from above, but he was too far behind, there was no way he would catch up. For some reason his distressed calls, over the comms for Rhoadey had my heart stuttering anxiously and made me sick to my stomach, more so than anything else had today.

Grass and dirt sprayed toward me as the War Machine suit collided with the ground. Tony landed a moment later, ripping the face plate from Rhoadey I slowed when I reached them, surveying the face of my unconscious friend, blood spattered across it. I came to a momentary halt looking between him and Tony before moving to crouch beside them and examine the injured man, but a burst of energy hit me directly in the chest causing me to tumble backward onto the grass. I pressed a hand to the sore spot where Tony’s ray had hit me, eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“DON’T!” I wasn’t sure he’d ever shouted at me like that before. “Just stay the hell away, Pimenova.” The venom dripping from his words made my heart stutter again, it shattered me completely. I did not understand why it was so devastating. “You can act like double-crossing us was some moral dilemma all you want; I don’t care you made your bed and now you can lay in it. Ross is going to be hunting you; I can’t protect you from that and to be honest, right now, I don’t want to.”

My eyes stung and I turned my head away before he saw the glistening in them. “I didn’t double cross you, I tried to do this your way, I couldn’t.” I swallowed heavily, moving to my feet once more and turning away from him. Before I left, I tilted my head to the side, toward him. “And I don’t need you to protect me from anything, Tony.”

With that I walked away.

I walked out of the field and back through the airstrip, moving quickly, scanning the area as I went to ensure I didn’t bump into any of Ross’ men on my way. Unfortunately, the person who stepped in front of me just before I reached the exit was much worse than a firing squad.

Pietro watched me, chest rising and falling rapidly, frantic eyes darting across my face. “Get out of my way, Pietro.” The words were glacial, a tone I’d not taken with him in a long time.

He shook his head. “No, Nadia, I’m not moving until we talk about this.”

“We already talked about it. That’s not what you really want, what you want is for me to agree with you and that isn’t going to happen so there’s nothing left to talk about.”

“There’s nothing left to talk about?” His eyes narrowed slightly; jaw clenched but the expression on his face did not resemble anger. “That’s it then? You’re done and we aren’t even going to talk about it.”

I shrugged, there was a lump in my throat and my eyes were stinging but I swallowed it down. “You’ve made it very clear where you stand, I see now, what you really think. What more could you possibly have to say?”  He ran a frantic hand through his hair, shaking his head, eyes shut tightly as he seemed to search for the correct words. “I mean that is why you were so willing to help Hydra, no? Why you kept all of those notes, you didn’t send them… but you kept them. They were a reminder, weren’t they? Of the person I really am.” I’d never seen him look so pale, like he’d seen a ghost. I told him to move once more, he just kept shaking his head.

“No. No, you’re not walking away like this, we’re not done talking.” He swallowed heavily. “If you really cared about me… about this.” He gestured between us. “If this mattered to you, you wouldn’t do this.”

“Don’t.” I blinked rapidly, desperately fighting the stinging in my eyes. “Don’t do that, that isn’t fair, you can’t just use us against me. Our relationship can’t the deciding factor in which side I choose, and I don’t think you actually want it to be.”

He shrugged. “So maybe you don’t know me that well. It shouldn’t be such a hard decision for you, the Accords are the only way forward, the right choice. I would have thought that doing what is right for the greater good mattered enough to you that I wouldn’t have to use our relationship to sweeten the deal, but maybe I don’t know you either.” It was facetious and sounded nothing like him.

“Pietro, get out of my way now.” I gritted my teeth, forcing down the emotions that were bubbling within me, focusing on the anger, that was where my strength was. It’s what I was good at. He needed me to be the villain, maybe that’s how he’d always seen me anyway. “Move, or I will make you.”

“Is that what you’re going to do? Well, go ahead, Nadia, because that’s the only way I’m going anywhere.” He moved forward until he was standing right in front of me. “Go on then, hurt me.” I didn’t move an inch. My stomach churned and I felt ill.

I clenched my hands into fists, heart racing against my chest. All I wanted was for this to be over. In that moment, looking at his face, his beautiful, frantic blue eyes, was unbearable. “Move.” It was barely a whisper, a breath that tapered off at the end, desperate and tired. My eyes were still stinging but I ignored it, swallowing all of it down and steeling myself; just as I always had before. He refused to budge, only staring at me with an expression that made me feel small. I didn’t think I could bare another second of that look, but then I did what I warned him I would. I ducked and weaved around him and when he managed to grab me, I pressed the control on my suit that activated the red and shocked him backward. A hard hit to the side of his ribs and a kick in the back of his knee sent him to the ground.  The look he gave me then, accompanied by the pained breath passing his lips as he cradled his side, I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. I turned away; knowing that if I stayed now, I might not be able to leave at all. His next words had me stopping dead in my tracks for a moment.

“I guess it’s true what they say. Once a double agent…” I closed my eyes tightly, stilling my body and holding my breath, forcing myself to remain strong, to be indifferent. I’d done it a million times before, why was it so hard now? Just when I felt like I might have control Pietro spoke again. “I’m glad you didn’t say it back. It would’ve been just another lie.”

It didn’t matter how hard I tried, the stinging in my eyes wouldn’t let up but this time it didn’t stop at that. He didn’t need to add any more context than that; didn’t need to spell it out. A hot tear streamed down my cheek, burning the whole way down. I quickly wiped it, glancing back at him over my shoulder. The cold, dismayed expression that he wore faltered ever so slightly when our eyes met, his lips parting slightly as he gazed at me.

“For the record, I didn’t want it to end like this.” His eyes softened ever so slightly but I turned away before I could change my mind.

He’d be fine, maybe a little bruised but nothing beyond that, because the truth was even in the end, I’d still pulled my punches. Because when it was him, I couldn’t bring myself to put any real force into it.

He had repeatedly told me that there was no point in my incessant efforts to push him away. It wouldn’t work. I couldn’t make him hate me.

I guess he was wrong.

Though maybe I’d never needed to try to make him hate me, maybe this was just written in our fate from the beginning.

All along, solitude was the only plausible ending for me.

[crazylittlejester]

mini fic requests??? :0

The heroes end on Skyloft. They got to know Sun is Hylia, a literal goddess, the first of all the Zeldas! They're all anxious and expect to see a tall, elegant, regal lady with a stoic expression, dressed in white.

Instead they get there and this short chaotic, super expressive gremlin, wearing a knight uniform, runs to Sky so fast they both fall off Skyloft and then laugh as the others are both shocked and confused.

I absolutely loved this, I’m sorry it took so long to do. The prompt was super cute :)

Here you go!! (606 words):

Skyloft was everything Sky had told them it was, but somehow also more. Being so high above the clouds was making Warriors’s head spin, and looking over the edge had him feeling weak in the knees, but Twilight had silently offered him a hand to hold to steady himself and the captain had taken it without hesitation. They’d arrived on the island in the sky a few short minutes ago, just in time to see the sun set, and Warriors’s breath had been stolen away from him by the sheer beauty of it all. He’d been here once before, during the War of Eras, however he hadn’t had much time to really take it all in and realize how beautiful his friend’s home was.

Sky, of course, had been over the moon to be back home, excitedly bouncing around while the others took a moment to adjust to the suddenly thinner air.

Warriors was so distracted by his heart pounding away in his chest due to how close to the edge he was and also by the views that he hadn’t really been paying attention to Sky rambling on about his home until his brother let out a sharp squeak.

“You guys can meet Sun!!” He beamed, running off towards a large staircase.

“Slow down, please,” Time wheezed, rubbing his forehead. The group slowly and groggily trailed behind Sky, who, bless him, was really trying his best to contain his excitement. He stayed with them the entire way up the stairs, bouncing all the way up while Warriors was tightly gripping onto Twilight and the rail for dear life.

He didn’t understand how the others were all so unbothered by how high off the ground they were, the captain appeared to be the only one struggling with it, but he was grateful that no one made a comment or teased him. It seemed even Legend knew when it was not an appropriate time to poke at him.

When they finally reached the end of the stairs, Sky led them into a familiar looking area, towards a ledge where a blond girl sat with her back to them. Warriors immediately assumed this must be Sun, Sky’s Zelda, Hylia reborn. From the way his brother talked about his girlfriend, the captain had imagined her to be as radiant as the goddess herself, an elegant guardian of the islands of the sky.

Warriors had not been expecting the young woman to whip around with a wide, plotting grin, and run at Sky, knocking him sideways over the edge.

He couldn’t help the scream that tore itself from his throat, and he clapped a hand over his mouth as his eyes widened in fear. All the others, except for Twilight who was graciously still holding his hand, raced to the edge to look over and see what had just happened to their beloved brother.

“WHERE’D HE GO???” Legend yelled, breathing heavily.

“Did???? Did she just kill them??” Wind gulped, looking back towards Warriors and the rancher with wide eyes.

Before anyone else could speak, a large red bird came flying up from over the edge, startling the group of heroes and causing everyone to stumble backwards.

“I ain’t ever seen a bird that big in my LIFE,” Twilight choked, gripping on to the captain’s hand a little tighter than he probably meant to, but Warriors didn’t even notice because all of his attention was on the fact that Sky and Sun were on the birds back, laughing like it was some kind of normal afternoon.

“He’s…” Four frowned, hands on his hips. “He’s fine. He’s fine he just… Hylia above.”

[bobbyfiend]

Maggie Stiefvater Writing Appreciation Post #3

All right, someone I know said they @ed Stiefvater on social media and she was kind of a dick to them. So what? Hemingway was an asshole, too, but we don't let that stop us from appreciating his skillz. Here are more possible spoiler writing snippets from the Raven Cycle.

------------------------------------------

Ronan was angry—every one of his emotions that wasn't happiness was anger.

------------------------------------------

There was something unfamiliar about him. Something ferocious about his eyes, some sort of bite in his faint smile. Something altogether hectic and unsettled. She stood on the ledge of his smile and looked over the edge.

------------------------------------------

Both of the boys were unsettling—Adam Parrish, in particular, had a curious face. Not as in, he was a curious person. But rather that there was something peculiar about his facial features. He was an alien, handsome specimen of this western Virginia species; feather-boned, hollow-cheeked, eyebrows fair and barely visible. He was feral and raw-boned by way of those Civil War portraits. Brother fought brother while their farms ran to ruins—

And Ronan Lynch looked like Niall Lynch, which was to say, he looked like an asshole.

------------------------------------------

What was a kiss without a kiss?

It was a tablecloth tugged from beneath a party service, everything jumbled against everything else in just a few chaotic moments. Fingers in hair. Hands cupping necks. Mouths dragged on cheeks and chins in dangerous proximity.

She drifted towards the bedroom, on her way to have a bath or take a nap or start a war.

------------------------------------------

He wondered if he was going to go through each year of his life thinking about how stupid he'd been the year before.

[chickenroost]

Chapter 1 - Into the Depths

Deep within the crevice of a great fissure, is the city of Astalor. Better known as the city of reflection. Massive stone columns and towers and cobblestone alleyways and small lights that shine at all hours of the day, even at noon. Inside of these city walls are the beings of legend, of old tales and the city is one human avoid lest they get swept up in the inbred wars within the timeless footfalls of the residents there. Led by the legendary so-called gods of life and death, as obscure as time and space itself, but their followers are unwavering in their loyalties. It's caused many a bloody battle and as such even in the few places both sides reside, you can oftentimes not find much work unless you join one of the factions. In this chaotic place, the winged folks and creatures reside in the high towers along the cliffs to the east, while the humanoid and non-flyers reside in the west. It is to this torn town, that a caravan has just arrived in town and with it the newest residents must begin to find their place, or else, find a way to survive.

A woman with pointed ears was among those who stepped off the caravan and was stretching her limbs as if stiff with the journey to get there. She took a glance at the columns around them, and looked puzzled, but slung her bag over her shoulders, and made her way over to the line headed off to one side, trying to get an idea of where she was to start. Her hair was long, pure red, and her eyes were an eerie dark gold with black irises. Every shadow the fell around her though, she seemed skittish about as she tried to sidestep them. She was cloaked in a dark-colored sleeveless robe, that rest loosely from the hip down. She wore nothing on her feet and was surprised at the little in way of guards or residents to greet them aside from two different dressed men who seemed to be directing the new arrivals one way or another. She waited for her turn.

Those ahead were divided, but when it came to her turn, the western rep was in for a surprise. Despite her lack of apparent wings, he sent her over to the east, and she was made to wait till the other rep was done.

"What is going on?" The other rep asked, but when he reviewed her papers as well, he raised a brow but looked to her in confusion. "You're the one we've been expecting? The Appraiser?" He shook his head but had her wait while they finished dividing the other new arrivals, but he sent a messenger to get someone to show her where to go off to the west none the less- However, it appeared to start an argument for the two reps. and they began yelling back and forth.

"What do you mean she's going with you?" the western rep yelled.

The eastern rep rolled his eyes. "She's been expected by our regional boss. She's supposed to help with his project." The western one began arguing, and, she overheard, along with the other, how non-flyers were supposed to be under the death god's faction.

"Would you two quit squabbling like hens and give me her papers already?" A gruff voice spoke up, sounding annoyed. He was a tall man with dark brown wings, that was tucked neatly behind him. The reps stopped their arguments and one of them handed the papers over to him. he took one glance over at her, huffed, and scooped her up roughly before flying up to the cliffs with her, placing her just as hazard back to her feet on a ledge high above. Staggered a bit, she recovered as he started to walk off. "This way.." he motioned for her to follow.

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

THE FACE OF ONSCREEN ULTRAVIOLENCE FOR THE LATE 1960s -- LEAVE YOUR KNIVES AT HOME.

PIC INFO: Resolution at 1064x1377 -- Spotlight on American film actor William Holden as aging outlaw Pike Bishop in a film still from Sam Peckinpah’s epic revisionist Western film, "The Wild Bunch" (1969). Director of photography: Lucien Ballard.

"Since almost all the Americans involved in "The Wild Bunch" had seen action in the Second World War, the film can be read as a crypto-reenactment of the violence they witnessed and its subsequent trauma. William Holden, the film’s star, was a particularly haunted vet. His younger brother had died in combat while Holden was on duty at a cushier post he had been assigned because of his star status.

Holden, a suicidal alcoholic like Peckinpah, was a former gymnast who occasionally walked on his hands on hotel ledges while drunk. In 1966, driving his Ferrari a hundred miles an hour in Italy with two young women in the car, he rear-ended another driver and killed him. He was found guilty of manslaughter but let off by the Italian authorities with a suspended sentence."

-- BOOK FORUM, "There Will Be Fake Blood: TheThe chaotic scenes behind the making of a cult classic," by A.S. Hamrah (February/March 2019)

Source: www.bookforum.com/print/2505/the-chaotic-scenes-behind-the-making-of-a-cult-classic-20644.

[ahhvernin]

I enjoy the idea that no matter what alignment the magic user is, the familiar will always be either chaotic good or neutral at their core.  And in an event of a magical war, and the contractors are falling like flies, the now released familiars, now just gather to help clean each other off, grab them some food and drink, and just hang watching the fight continue and watch bemused as the magic users intentionally or accidentally unleashing a godly horror and you just get a group of animals hanging on a ledge being like: “should we .....help them?” “.....maybe after my nap.” “mmmmmmm, Yes?........but not yet.” “I~ think they can stew in their pride a bit longer.”

[skyloftian-nutcase]

The Haunting Past (LU in Healthcare)

PLOT CHAPTER! :D You ready for emotional whiplash because I threw a snippet in there too?! Woot woot for wretched pacing but I don't care because I do what I want with this insanity LOL

(Click here to read on AO3)

Time stared at his phone.

Time Time Sky’s back He’s back and he’s ok

TIME TIME OH MY GOSH TIME IT’S SKY WARS AND I FOUND HIM HE’S ALIVE AND HE’S OK AND WE’RE HAVING ICE CREAM YOU GOTTA COME HERE LIKE NOW ASAP STAT STAT STAT ARE YOU LISTENING LOOK AT YOUR PHONE DAMN IT AND DON’T SAY “NO SWEARING” ORWHATEVS OK LIKE IT’S SKY

“Honey? What’s wrong?”

Taking a shaky breath, Time slowly sat on the sofa. He… didn’t really have words to say. The messages were from last night – he’d silenced his phone for dinner with Twilight and hadn’t bothered checking it until this morning.

Sky was alive?

“Link?” Malon prompted, sitting beside him.

He looked so worn thin, yet his smile shone just as brightly as always.

“Thank you,” Sky said, leaning in for a hug.

Time held him gently so as not to jostle his healing injury. “You’re welcome. Go to the barracks and get some sleep, Sky, some real sleep, okay? They shouldn’t be letting you on a helicopter anytime soon anyway. Enjoy the rest.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

Except he hadn’t. He never saw Sky again. No letter, no text, no explanation whatsoever. Sky had been released from the hospital after his wound and then he’d just vanished.

Time reread the texts and felt his breath catch in his throat.

“Sky?” Malon whispered as she looked at his phone. “I’ve heard that used as a nickname… you talked about him, a pilot from the war – one of your Lost Boys, right? You said he’d died.”

“I thought he must have,” Time muttered.

The couple sat in silence, and then Malon gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “Honey, this is amazing. You should reach out to them and see if you can find him.”

He thought he’d come to grips with everything. Sky had disappeared two years ago, after all.

Shakily pressing on the phone, he dialed Warriors’ number, but when he didn’t get a response, he remembered that Warriors was working today. Wind was in class, he knew that much.

That meant the kid would absolutely be goofing around on his phone.

Nugget, I need to know what happened. How did you find Sky? Where is he?

It took less than five seconds to see the little speech bubble appear, and he waited.

he said he’s staying somewhere close and works in the area

isn’t that crazy??? So cool

like I can’t believe he’s here!!!!!!

u want his #? I made him give it to us

“Yes,” Malon immediately said when Time hesitated. “Honey, come on, you should reach out to him!”

When Time still didn’t speak or type, Malon brought her energy down a little and hugged him instead.

This was just… overwhelming.

“I’ll make some breakfast. Take your time.” Malon finally said softly, kissing him on the cheek and heading for the kitchen.

Time sat still, alone and silent. And then, finally, he typed, Yes.

The doorbell rang, distracting him before Wind could reply, and he plopped the phone on the couch, filled with both anxiety and anticipation. Taking a steadying breath, he went to answer the door so Malon could keep cooking. He imagined… he imagined Sky’s number would be available once he got back to the sofa.

So what would he do? Call him? Text him? Do anything at all?

Why had Sky disappeared without a word if he was still alive? Did he not want to talk to them? None of it made sense. Sky was gentle and sweet, though far more mischievous than people realized, but he wasn’t cruel.

Shaking his head to focus on the moment, Time opened the door.

And saw Sky standing on his porch.

The pair stared at each other for an eternity. Time couldn’t even quite process who he was looking at. The always sleepy teenager had grown into a young man, more muscular yet more worn, smooth young face carrying traces of worry and stress, held heavy in the dark circles under his eyes. His jaw was set tightly, muscles pulled and stiff. His posture was rigid and tall, like a soldier, but holding a tension of anticipation, a defensiveness for a blow that hadn’t yet been struck. His brow was crinkled together, so obviously conveying anxiety.

The morning doves cooed gently as a breeze blew. The surrounding nature brought Time back to reality. He started to take a small step forward when Sky’s breath caught a little too sharply. His entire being screamed an apology, and Time could only fathom what it was for.

Sky’s eyes began to water, and he swallowed hard.

Time reached forward and dragged him into a hug.

XXX

Hyrule entered the bar, breathless and excited. He had just gotten off another 48 hour shift and he was ready to unwind with his friends. Four had mentioned that Legend brought a new friend along. Hyrule had heard about him the last time he’d been in the emergency department, but he hadn’t had the chance to meet him yet.

Catching sight of Four, he smiled and made his way to the table where his friend was sitting. Everyone was still in their scrubs, making Hyrule feel a little better about only changing his duty shirt so he wouldn’t be seen in a bar in his uniform. Four had his colorful hoodie on that he always wore outside of work when weather permitted (and the cold rain outside certainly permitted it), while Legend had a light blue beanie covering his blonde hair and then was in his usual crimson scrubs. There was a third person at the table, a blonde man in forest green scrubs with perfectly quaffed hair and a chiseled jawline. His eyes quickly snapped to Hyrule before the paramedic had even gotten within a few paces of the table, and their intensity made him a little nervous all of a sudden.

Four noticed the new guy’s scrutiny and followed his gaze, smiling in recognition. “Hey, Hyrule, you’re—”

Four’s smile turned upside down as he scrutinized Hyrule. “You’re soaking wet.”

Hyrule shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t expect the rain.”

“Where did you park?” Four asked skeptically. “Is it raining that hard?”

Hyrule fumbled for an answer hastily. “O-oh, I—not far, I—I decided to bike today.”

“You bike?” Legend questioned.

Hyrule smiled, elated and proud. “Yeah! I just got the bike last week!”

“Well look at you, being all healthy,” Legend snarked with a smile. “Come over here and sit down already, you’re being weird just standing there.”

Hyrule chuckled bashfully and made his way to the table. The new guy smiled in welcome, and his face and eyes warmed. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Warriors. You must be Hyrule?”

Hyrule nodded, smiling politely. “Yes, that’s right. Are you on in the STICU with Four?”

“ED,” he answered, sipping his drink.

“So how was your day?” Four asked the pair of emergency nurses.

“I got pissed on by a patient,” Warriors said dryly. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss getting blood all over me from my trauma soldiers.”

Legend snorted, crossing his arms and smirking. “Welcome to civilian ER life.”

Hyrule gasped in realization. “You served in the military?”

Warriors nodded. “I was an army nurse and a soldier before that.”

“Were—did you serve during the civil war?”

Warriors’ smile grew a little strained, and he nodded.

Hyrule dropped it after that, sensing the change in atmosphere. “Well, I’m a paramedic! It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah, nice to meet the pretty boy,” Legend said dismissively, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, my day was great, had a DKA patient whose sugar was like nine hundred and then we got priapism guy again.”

Hyrule groaned. “Again? You’d think he’d learn after the first time.”

“Nope!” Legend quipped, cackling. “He’s gonna lose it if he isn’t careful.”

Everyone at the table shuddered. Hyrule looked at Four. “What about your day?”

Four shrugged good naturedly. “Not bad. My patient actually walked today and pain management was great, nobody called the behavioral response team and nobody got punched.”

Warriors propped his chin on his fist, bottle already empty. “Head injury patients are a beast.”

Four nodded sagely. “No kidding. So what brought you to Hyrule Hospital?”

Warriors shrugged. “Looking for a change of scenery. Friend recommended I come here after I left the army.”

“Yeah, get this,” Legend interjected, pointing to Warriors. “He and Time are old war buddies.”

“Time? Really?” Hyrule asked. He’d met the trauma surgeon a handful of times by now since Four and Legend were more familiar with him. He seemed very wise and kind, but also mysterious. Time didn’t talk about himself or his past; he asked others about themselves and talked about work, and by the end of the conversation Hyrule would leave and realize he hadn’t really learned a thing about the man. He never knew Time had been in the army.

Warriors nodded, his eyes warming at the mention of the surgeon. “Yes, he’s the one who recommended I come here.”

“What part of town are you settled in?” Legend asked. “I’ve got the whole city mapped out, so I know all the good spots in town for food and shopping and the like.”

“Northern side of town, Seer District.”

“Of course you’re in the swanky side of town,” Legend commented with another roll of his eyes.

“Well what about you?”

“Lorule District.”

Hyrule headed for the bar as the group chatted about different places in the city, smiling cheerfully at the lady behind the bar. “Hey Telma!”

“Hey, honey,” Telma greeted warmly before frowning. “You’re soaked to the bone.”

Hyrule chuckled, his shoulders rising in embarrassment. “Yeah. It’s okay, really.”

Thankfully, the barmaid didn’t push. Sighing and shaking her head, her smile returned as she asked, “The usual?”

Hyrule nodded eagerly, and happily accepted the glass of milk that Telma offered before skipping back to the table to rejoin his friends.

XXX

Twilight sighed in contentment as the fire crackled. Both he and Wild were off work for the next couple of days, and they’d decided the outdoors was far preferable to the ratty motel they’d been staying in.

Being new to the area, Twilight didn’t know the surrounding vicinity as well, but Wild had explored both the entire city and the wilderness around it.

“Camping was such a good idea,” Twilight remarked, leaning against a tree.

Wild hummed cheerily, belly full of some soup they’d packed along. “Maybe we could just live out here? Beats the motel.”

“It took us an hour and a half to drive out here. You want that commute?”

“I’ve heard of people driving that much from their homes!”

“Where are we going to shower?”

Wild squinted at the fire. “Pretty sure there’s a stream somewhere…”

Twilight laughed. “I’ll pass on that, heaven knows what’s in the water. I’m down for camping on our days off, though.”

There was a comfortable pause, and then Twilight’s curiosity got the best of him. “How did you find all these places, anyway? Have you just… been homeless for most of your life?”

Wild sighed and shrugged. “I got here with little recollection of how. Didn’t have much to go off of, either, so I made do.”

Twilight sat up a little more, growing confused and concerned. “What do you mean you don’t remember how you got here?”

“No here,” Wild said, motioning at the campsite they’d made. “I mean, like, bigger here. Castle Town. All that.”

“You just… woke up in Castle Town one day and didn’t know how you got there?”

“No,” Wild answered. “I woke up in a… I woke up somewhere else and didn’t know how I got there. All I knew was I needed to get out. And I kept going and going, and most transportation leads here, so I got off the bus here and started turning it into my stomping grounds.”

Before Twilight could ask anything else, Wild turned the conversation to him. “How about you? What brought you to Castle Town?”

Twilight shrugged. “Needed a change.”

The pair was silent, neither willing to make eye contact or elaborate on what they had said. Then Twilight chuckled. “Look at us. Let’s talk about something else, the important stuff: do you like dogs, cats, or both?”

Wild shrugged. “I’m kind of meh to all of them.”

Twilight gaped. “What what?!”

“I don’t know, I mean I’ve run into the city’s stray cats a million times over and they’re feral as hell,” Wild shrugged. “The dogs too, honestly. Best to just avoid them.”

“Unbelievable,” Twilight muttered. “We need to work on this.”

[stellati0n]

anon asked:

If possible could I request Zhongli, Childe, Diluc and Kaeya with a s/o who likes to give them a little spook like hide under the bed and grab their ankles.

so y/n is basically hu tao-

【ｚｈｏｎｇｌｉ，ｃｈｉｌｄｅ，

ｄｉｌｕｃ，ｋａｅｙａ】

s/o likes to scare their partner

warnings ; very vague spicy implications(?)

ｚｈｏｎｇｌｉ

- Have fun trying to scare this ancient man. He’s seen it all pretty much, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

- He already has Hu Tao to deal with, but at least your antics are light hearted scares.

- If he enters the room and you’re not in it, he may look around in any obvious hiding places trying to find you from where you could pop out to scare him.

- But as time goes on, your hiding spaces become more and more creative. You were hiding on the roof outside your house once where you snapped yourself over the ledge to scare Zhongli.

- It’s not always successful, but when you are, his reactions are quite funny. Maybe a jump, maybe a surprised noise. Very occasionally a scream if you manage to get him good.

- If he finds you’ve gone missing, his first instinct is usually that you’re gonna jump out at him, so please don’t stay in hiding for too long or he’ll get worried.

- He’s not opposed to you hiding in the closet and then jumping out at him to tackle him into a hug. Just make sure you land somewhere soft.

ｃｈｉｌｄｅ

- You two 100% have scare battles in an ongoing war. You’re typically the one to start them, but he will start them when he wants to get back at you.

- Childe is very perceptive, so he often knows where you are ahead of time, but it is possible to scare him, which has sharpened your spooking instincts.

- You can give away your position to him through your muffled snickering to yourself, but you’ve gotten better at keeping silent to grab his feet when he’s close enough to the side of the bed when you’re under it.

- Childe will probably make a startled sound and you could feel him jerk from the surprise, but it wouldn’t be enough to make him scream. It’s pretty much impossible to do that.

- Your scare wars may sometimes end up in play fights with the two of you just wrestling around. More often than not when it reaches this stage, he’s got you pinned down where you’ll probably have to surrender.

- If not then who knows what happens👀👀 *author bonk*

- He’s really happy to have someone as chaotic as you to be with, as are you. Not everyone goes along with his bullshit, but you definitely do.

ｄｉｌｕｃ

- No one knows how your gremlin ass ended up with someone as no-shenanigans as Diluc, but it happened alright.

- You’d have to bust out the scares once he’s a little more comfortable because he’s still getting used to romance.

- But once he’s settled in, go wild. Having you pop out of random places does bring some light into his otherwise boring days at the tavern.

- You always manage to slip into the tavern unnoticed and make your way underneath the counter, where you’d sometimes sit and stare intensely at Diluc until he felt your gaze and looked down.

- His reactions would vary based on how busy the tavern was. If it was a bit quieter, he might not be as startled since he would be a little more relaxed.

- But when it comes to the busy tavern and he’s busy keeping an eye on the drunks, he might trip over himself when you suddenly pop up next to him. It’s like you just teleport or something.

- He doesn’t always like being scared, so do try and cut him some slack sometimes.

- But if you let your guard down, he may occasionally get back at you

ｋａｅｙａ

- He’s gonna be a tough opponent to crack, but that just makes it that greater of an achievement to you. Maybe you’ll get 20 primos if you do it?

- This sneaky man is highly perceptive so you’ve got to learn to conceal your presence very well if you’re going to try and scare him.

- It might work if you hide out underneath the bed for long enough for him to let his guard down so you can then grab his ankles.

- He doesn’t usually make a sound when he gets startled, but if you’re not careful, you could end up with an accidental blast of ice in your face. It always makes him laugh a bit at your shocked face, but he does feel bad.

- He will most definitely get back at you if you manage to successfully scare him at some point. He’s very good at hiding and jumping out to get you.

- When he gets you back, he’ll definitely make sure his hands are cold when he grabs or pokes you. You’re in for a nasty, cold surprise when you’re on Kaeya’s spook radar.

- Things are very unpredictable with Kaeya, so the result of your scare wars could end in one way or another. It’s Kaeya. Anything could happen. *author bonk pt 2*

[quirkle2]

if you want a distraction-

favorite wars and twi hc moments?

like, maybe it hasn't been written yet by anyone, but your favorite moments of those two?

HMMMMMS,,,

i think i've mentioned it but im a big fan of them Bein Bros. classic sibling rivalry where they push each other into mud puddles and call each other dums dums (wars is several years older than him, a grown ass man, saying the words "dum dum." twi has no problem lowering himself to that level too honestly) but then will literally lie their own lives down for each other

they roughhouse a lot. twi lightly kicks him in the shins during an Important Team Meeting and they both completely fucking devolve into a shoving match until time has to stare at them like a disappointed teacher waiting for his classmates to be quiet

it's all lighthearted, of course. they love and care for each other dearly. their brand of bickering is somehow much different from wars' and legend's. can't rly describe it well, but the best i can do is that ledge and wars' bickering evolved like: idiot /petty -> dumbass /friendly -> utter fucking buffoon /affection. meanwhile wars' and twi's bickering is more like: hey NUTHEAD dinner's ready. hate you btw /lie . if u even care. oh also do u wanna see this cool new thing i bought. i got ur favorite milkshake while i was in town

they will go from trying to kill each other (affectionately) to sitting by the fire and infodumping to each other abt their special interests within minutes

also big fan of them finding differences between their lifestyles. wars is a city boy and twi is country, so they often have very different experiences. they're walkin in the woods and wars freezes and lightly slaps his arm to get his attention. twi looks over and just sees a turkey walkin around. "literally what is that. twi. twi" "it's a fucking turkey get it together"

it might seem like they're terrible at working together but they are Not they r excellent and when it's serious and dire they will both switch to No Bickering Mode and Cooperate. they're mature enough to know the time and place for it. my version of twi mainly uses a crossbow, and wars teaming up w somebody who's long-range and a damn good shot produces some devastating circumstances for the enemy

twi genuinely trusts wars a lot, and vise versa. he can tell wars puts a lot of faith in his abilities, but he also very obviously believes in twi's judgement, and that's . big. he Appreciates that. especially since twi is younger and kind of assumes wars would think he's less capable of making decisions due to much less experience. wars doesn't think that at all, and he Shows it when he actually asks twi for input sometimes, wanting a different perspective he trusts

they both have a Big Brother Instinct when it comes to the younger members of the chain and they Will team up to make sure the others r physically and mentally okay. if some big battle happens that might've mentally Fucked somebody up, they—along w sky usually—become the mother hens and oh so very gently care for the others

it seems like time would hesitate to leave twi and wars w any of the more chaotic younger members, given the fact that twi and wars Both can be absolutely fucking crazy themselves, but time actually puts a Lot of faith in them. he knows that while they both can do batshit things and create a lot of mayhem, they Both also have a very responsible side. wars is a captain and twi's entire game revolves around responsibility, and they both know when to dial it back if it gets too hectic or dangerous. time genuinely believes that if he partners any of the others w the combination of twi and wars, very few things could ever bring any of them harm

[inkquillery]

sideblog for fic raws and updates: @b4-the-ink-is-dry

feel free to send asks for anything at all :))

my Ao3 works masterlist, sorted by fandoms:

fandom: naruto

more than just parallel lines

~ moodboard & summary ~ jinchūriki ~ found family ~ rookie 9 shenanigans ~ team 7 as family ~ sand siblings ~ gaara & naruto & fū being triplets™ ~

fandom: fairy tail

like a page with a golden word (puts my heart to the test)

~ moodboard & summary ~ lucy & brandish & dimaria shenanigans ~ e.n.d. ~ implied annalogia ~

and god knows it’s the only way to heal now

~ moodboard & summary ~ lucy & erza sisterhood ~ missing moments throughout the series ~

five more minutes

~ moodboard & summary ~ aquarius & lucy ~ developing relationship ~ missing scenes ~ mother-daughter-ish ~ not ft-100yq compliant ~

hey lucy (i remember your name)

~ moodboard & summary ~ lumen histoire ~ ghost!lucy ~ little shit!lucy ~ team natsu as a family ~ honourable mention: peak chaotic sibling energy ft. lucy & gray ~ learning to let go ~

fandom: mcu

little lost child (what’s your damage)

~ moodboard & summary ~ mamaspider ~ natasha raised peter ~ tony & natasha coparenting ~ avengers as a family ~ harley & peter brotherhood ~ teenage shenanigans ft. peter & harley & shuri ~ picking up strays ft. wanda & pietro ~

fluctuat nec mergitur ~ a sneak peek to the series ~ {completed, posted} ~

yesterday’s sky unfolds ~ {in progress} ~

a paper-bound ledge ~ {in progress, unposted} ~

pastel storm clouds ~ {in progress, unposted} ~

in the ether ~ infinity war/endgame au, ft. characters from agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. ~ {in progress, unposted} ~

fandom: agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.

darling, close your weary eyes

~ moodboard & summary ~ maydaisy ~ nightmares ~ post-afterlife ~ taking care of self-inflicted wounds ~ staying through the night ~

when all is lost, then all is found

~ moodboard & summary ~ bio!maydaisy ~ the red room ~ kid!daisy ~ daisy & natasha sisterhood ~ trauma from both ends ~ lost and found ~

to find you ~ how their story begins ~ {completed, posted} ~

found (the answers in you) ~ in which insecurities surface but bonding allows for proper healing from trauma ~ {completed, posted} ~

the hidden cost (and the thing that’s lost) ~ an alternative take on ‘what happened in bahrain’ ~ {in progress, unposted} ~

lost in translation ~ in which hydra is eliminated by a one-girl army before they can do any real damage ~ {in progress, unposted} ~

your lie in april

~ moodboard & summary ~ maydaisy ~ philindaisy ~ teenage!skye ~ street kid!skye ~ jemma & skye & fitz & trip friendship ~ matt murdock & skye siblingship ~

beautiful girl

~ moodboard & summary ~ alternate dimension ~ dimension hopping ~ older daisy ~ maydaisy ~ post-s2 ~ kang the conqueror ~

fandom: encanto

thread by thread

~ moodboard & summary ~ 5 + 1 ~ post-casita’s fall ~ runaway!mirabel ~ reunions ~ a little crack, a lot emotions ~

a place further than the universe

~ moodboard & summary ~ bio!mamápepa ~ identity crisis ~ solidarity among the second-gen madrigals ~ teenage shenanigans ft. mirabel living her best life ~ antarctica ~

[nibeul]

Please I want to know more about your clones 🤔🤔

I am so late to responding to this but GLADLY!! I love gushing about them though I have so many (like 50 I think) so I will try to stick to my main group ahh :)

Cross (he/him): Cross was my first clone OC ever, so he holds a very special place in my heart even if I do not draw him often enough. He’s a commander (CC-0044) and was present on Geonosis, though later returned to Kamino to help Alpha with the CC training program.

He got his scar in 21BBY and it’s actually not from the battlefield (none of his scars are actually from the battlefield). The scar comes from being whipped by a lightsaber hilt, which sounds funny out of context, but it wasn’t an accident.

He’s batchmates with @katanrocksketches ‘s OC Asch! The two were pretty close when they were in training, and Cross got his name before leaving Kamino. It was given to him because of his kind of uhhh, “cross nature” or disposition pfft. He softens up a bit between 22BBY-20BBY though the walls go up again after that :’)

Coming off Kamino, he was a stickler for rules and was not a big fan of clones tattooing themselves/dying their hair and whatnot (he didn’t even like having a name at first though his batchmates used it enough that it begrudgingly stuck). After meeting Sunny though, he lets him do one tattoo and ends up getting his number underneath his left eye. It is like, staying to how he believes they should be while also accepting that it’s ok to be individual.

Cross’s favorite color is red because for him, red represents Ando (my Padawan OC) and they are very close (NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY. He sees Ando as his little brother or kih’vod to protect).

Cross actually does not know a lot of Mando’a because of his belief that they should not try to be seen as individuals. He distanced himself from anything that he considered “individualization”, and Mando’a was included in that. Sunny teaches him a little bit later down the line, and Ando also teaches him and Ten (another clone OC of mine) some Togruti, too

Part of Cross’s strict disposition comes from being subject to Priest’s death circles on more than one occasion (I might retcon that to Adral—a mando OC of mine—because I hate KT Ugh).

By the end of the war, he carries a lot of guilt. He loses a lot of the people he’s closest to because of his actions/orders, and he uh. Doesn’t live past O66 :’) he does get a very quick.. redemption.. arc.. kinda..

Sunny (he/him): Sunny was my second clone OC made around the same time as Cross, and he also holds a very special place in my heart :) I really love clone medics, there is just something about them that makes my brain go brrrr. I also think the irony of his name is great

Sunny’s name was originally Sers, but after writing him for a few weeks, I changed it because I thought Sunny fit better. His name was given to him by his batchmate, Aran, and while he vehemently protested against it, the name ended up sticking. He won’t admit that he actually likes it (though the tattoo and painting of his armor say otherwise anyway)

Sunny is the CMO of the 409th Corps (my OC military group basically). He’s a Lieutenant (or at a rank around there, definitely a CO at the least) and he does not back down. Ever. Even the people who outrank him will fall into line if he tells them to, Jedi included. He is not afraid to pull rank as a Medic, and his resting bitch face can be very scary

On the same line of thought as the rbf, he is basically perpetually scowling. He does not look approachable at all

Sunny loses the entirety of his batch on Geonosis, including Aran who he holds onto while he is dying. The Jedi leading Sunny’s company was.. not accustomed to war and failed to adapt when it was needed. Because of this, Sunny doesn’t necessarily harbor a dislike of Jedi, though he does not really trust many of them in leading positions. He also does not like that there are kids being put in the role of commander, he does see many Padawan deaths (he later comforts a dying Padawan that he was close to, I think I wrote part of that scene for myself and it was kinda upsetting oof) —> he gets his tattoo/paints his armor in order to honor his dead batchmates

Throughout the war, Sunny gets seriously injured only once after going down in an LAAT (where he nearly ends up dying too). Boost finds him, though he’s kinda accepted that he’s not gonna make it (I mean he does but it doesn’t look like he will for a bit). After Flip (younger clone OC) dies, he doesn’t really care if he kicks the bucket either :’)

Sunny is the only one out of my main gang to make it past O66. His chip doesn’t work at all, though he has to fight through his brothers (aha, the only ones who are still alive that he is close with) in order to save a Jedi youngling that was in the medbay at the time. After that, he goes on the run with the kid (clone dad clone dad) and offers his services as a doctor in the outer rim in order to keep them afloat

Boost (he/him) (she/her) [either or, there is no real preference]: Boost has gone through a lot of changes design wise. He started out as Dax, but then Dax became another OC, then she was Boost, though she had kinda short hair that was pushed back by a headband, then his hair was buzzed, and now we are finally at long hair Boost. Idk how to describe, but she is very shaped I think

Boost for his nickname from bear hugging his batchmates and lifting them off the ground when doing so. Also from fucking around in training where he threw another one of his batchmates in order to get from one ledge to another. All around just a name with silly origins that she liked and decided to keep

Boost and Sol are batchmates!

Boost is very tactically intelligent. She’s good at thinking on her feet, sees the bigger picture before focusing on details, good problem solver, etc. He is an ARC after all, there is good reason for his status and rank as a Lieutenant. That being said, he can also be very very stupid in the sense that off the battlefield, he’s oblivious. He does enjoy being the jokester of the group, and he sometimes plays up his dumbassery for jest, though yeah, a lot of people assume that he is not smart because of his demeanor which is very wrong

Boost is terrible. Terrible at braiding her hair. Sol is the best at braiding it, though she would never admit that even if everyone knows it. He started growing his hair out once they were off Kamino and hasn’t stopped since despite the fact that is technically not within regulations. Cross turns a blind eye and Ko (Jedi General) could not care less for inconsequential regulations like that

Boost is really good with kids, but good in the way a uhh.. chaotic uncle/auntie is. He’s a lot of fun to be around with, and being around kids makes him even more rambunctious than usual. He can be what is considered “childish”, pulling pranks and everything but like, he is very emotionally mature and knows when to be serious. Again, a lot of people kinda just boil her down to “dumb” which is really wrong, though it doesn’t bug him a lot.

Boost has a big sweet tooth!! He loves getting sweets when they’re on Coruscant, which they actually tend to visit frequently enough because of Ko’s status as a Sentinel (and also because Ko benefits what the Republic sees as the “propaganda machine” as a prominent General with a good track record).

Boost is romantically involved with @buttsalsa ‘s civilian OC Esta. I reblogged some art of them the other day, they are very cute :D

Boost doesn’t make it to Order 66 :’) I actually wrote out his death and cried after going back to read it LMAO It was rough

Sol (he/him): Sol was made as a package deal with Boost, and I feel bad because I think he gets overshadowed a lot but he is kinda like the rock for the group. When he dies, things really start to crumble but uh!! That is a sad thought for another time. Anyways, like I said, he is basically the rock and also a voice of reason for Boost’s shenanigans

Sol got his nickname after reading through some flimsi that their trainer had given him. He didn’t know if it had any meaning, but he liked the way it sounded and immediately began using it. Boost quickly picked up on it and the rest of their batch was very supportive

Sol loves reading. He specifically likes reading history, and Ando slips him what he can (fun fact, when Sol dies, Boost returns to their bunk to find a couple of holobooks that Ando had left and breaks down aha.. pain). Whenever he doesn’t feel like keeping Boost from causing trouble, he just sits in a quiet corner and reads his books while everything erupts in chaos around him

Sol’s favorite beverage is tea which Ko introduced him to. He has a few boxes he keeps with him when he can, and he shares them with Boost sometimes though he has to add a lot of sugar/honey in order to do that. If he could drink tea all the time, he could. On the flipside, he absolutely loathes coffee and doesn’t understand how Sunny can drink multiple cups on a day

Sol is kinda like the person that everyone is friends with even if they don’t realize it. He’s like.. the perfect emotional pillar, kinda the therapist friend in a group that desperately needs therapy. He’s more of a listener than a talker which is why it’s easy to overlook him, but he insists that he doesn’t mind much. That being said, it’s only once he’s gone that people start to realize just how much he did (aside from Boost who already thought the world of him)

Sol is also an ARC trooper, having gone through the training program together with Boost. He doesn’t have the same tactical knowledge that Boost does, but he’s good at mediating, long range combat, and also working through plans (he’s pretty meticulous). He and Boost balance each other out well, since he is like the “slow and steady” one out of them.

Sol is the first to go out of the main four (second out of my bigger group of six). He and his entire platoon are wiped out in a massacre as a result of false intel.. man :’)

Anyways, thank you for enabling to ramble about my ocs ToT I honestly just needed to infodump shdjf

[hermannsthumb]

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

[chickenroost]

Chapter 1 - Into the Depths

Deep within the crevice of a great fissure, is the city of Astalor. Better known as the city of reflection. Massive stone columns and towers and cobblestone alleyways and small lights that shine at all hours of the day, even at noon. Inside of these city walls are the beings of legend, of old tales and the city is one human avoid lest they get swept up in the inbred wars within the timeless footfalls of the residents there. Led by the legendary so-called gods of life and death, as obscure as time and space itself, but their followers are unwavering in their loyalties. It's caused many a bloody battle and as such even in the few places both sides reside, you can oftentimes not find much work unless you join one of the factions. In this chaotic place, the winged folks and creatures reside in the high towers along the cliffs to the east, while the humanoid and non-flyers reside in the west. It is to this torn town, that a caravan has just arrived in town and with it the newest residents must begin to find their place, or else, find a way to survive.

A woman with pointed ears was among those who stepped off the caravan and was stretching her limbs as if stiff with the journey to get there. She took a glance at the columns around them, and looked puzzled, but slung her bag over her shoulders, and made her way over to the line headed off to one side, trying to get an idea of where she was to start. Her hair was long, pure red, and her eyes were an eerie dark gold with black irises. Every shadow the fell around her though, she seemed skittish about as she tried to sidestep them. She was cloaked in a dark-colored sleeveless robe, that rest loosely from the hip down. She wore nothing on her feet and was surprised at the little in way of guards or residents to greet them aside from two different dressed men who seemed to be directing the new arrivals one way or another. She waited for her turn.

Those ahead were divided, but when it came to her turn, the western rep was in for a surprise. Despite her lack of apparent wings, he sent her over to the east, and she was made to wait till the other rep was done.

"What is going on?" The other rep asked, but when he reviewed her papers as well, he raised a brow but looked to her in confusion. "You're the one we've been expecting? The Appraiser?" He shook his head but had her wait while they finished dividing the other new arrivals, but he sent a messenger to get someone to show her where to go off to the west none the less- However, it appeared to start an argument for the two reps. and they began yelling back and forth.

"What do you mean she's going with you?" the western rep yelled.

The eastern rep rolled his eyes. "She's been expected by our regional boss. She's supposed to help with his project." The western one began arguing, and, she overheard, along with the other, how non-flyers were supposed to be under the death god's faction.

"Would you two quit squabbling like hens and give me her papers already?" A gruff voice spoke up, sounding annoyed. He was a tall man with dark brown wings, that was tucked neatly behind him. The reps stopped their arguments and one of them handed the papers over to him. he took one glance over at her, huffed, and scooped her up roughly before flying up to the cliffs with her, placing her just as hazard back to her feet on a ledge high above. Staggered a bit, she recovered as he started to walk off. "This way.." he motioned for her to follow.

written by @chickenroost