#Warhammer was always that way right from the beginning huh

[kirbyddd]

why does wikipedia have the review from Games Workshop's own magazine about its own game as critical reception

[quietbluejay]

Bluejay Reads Warhammer Samples 1

Because I need something to do to take a break from packing. So I'm going to put my sample impressions of books I haven't read (yet) here.

First up, Ashes of Prospero, The Solar War, The Lost and the Damned, Slaves to Darkness

description of daemon magnus is. something.

he's blue badabee badaba

but is he on the boulevard of broken dreams his wings are "ornamental and dramatic" well the imperium does one (1) thing right they use metric

Our hero squelches his way along

he's got a pet raven and he named it nightwing that's so cute wait your door handles have the ouroborous on them? that's kind of….thousand sons of you

you know what, good on the space wolves for having a nicely decorated space

must be a huge pain to keep clean though

honestly this is a pretty sweet setup

khayon 🤝 njal have a fun animal familiar and not sleeping due to nightmares caused by the space wolves/thousand sons invading their planet okay done the sample sadly the wacky body sharing antics did not begin definitely getting the vibe that this guy is more of a fantasy writer

New sample time back over to horus era oh it's emperor shenanigans again

so, i heard some concerning stuff about French's writing for the Horus Heresy but this seems good

ELMO EMOJI

yeah yeah the corpse on the throne foreshadowing, we've all seen it

amazing you just summed up the over-theme

oh hi Mersadie, been a while Mersadie is now imprisoned

she seems um. surprisingly mentally well for someone who has been in solitary confinement for seven years oh, nvm, she's having hallucinations

man poor Mersadie, gets solitary confinement for the crime of…being one of the only two surviving remembrancers for the Sons of Horus okay so you know how i said sometimes you can hear what the author was listening to as they wrote? im breathing in the chemicals well, it's Sound of Silence here owo jaghatai is here ew malcador is here

sexy lamp horus strikes again also, as always, French is great at mood-setting

i don't think this is necessarily bad writing, but tbh as always i am deeply uninterested in space battle play by plays so i am leaning against adding this book to the to-read pile OH NO NOT AGAIN THE HUMAN TALLOW CANDLES STRUCK WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED THEM as if summoned by the human tallow candles, blorbo shows up ahriman!!

i did not expect abaddon to quote poetry anyways yeah i don't think this is necessarily a bad book, but it doesn't seem like one I'm interested in

another sample oh hey it's Guy Haley! oh this is the one where abaddon mutes angron on zoom and it starts the day before valentines day. lol

if i had a nickel for every primarch described as "uncompromising and severe" i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it makes me disinclined to like dorn

sanguinius i guess gets left as the dumb blond where the other two get characterization notes yeah. haley definitely improved by the time he got to writing plague wars this is better written than Valedor but not as good as Dark Imperium

im ngl he feels more norse than the space wolves lmao huh you know i feel like this is one of the least-horny descriptions of a woman stripping i've run across so glad it's not McNeill writing this

lmao

dorn: yeah uh, actually, i kind of really need to know this stuff since i'm the general in charge of fighting against it

looks at current situation looks at malcador yeahhhhh im gonna have to side with dorn on this one

man kinda wish horus' attempt to assassinate malcador had worked also jaghatai continues to be best boi jaghatai: he should have trusted us more malcador: look what happened with the bit he did trust you with im rolling my eyes so hard

dorn: okay but like HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT DAEMONS HUH malcador: don't worry about it, i got it yeah uh this explains so much also dorn isn't making too bad an impression on me

MORTARION MENTION

you know, i feel like there should have been some more reflection from lion

in his book, i mean hm okay, i might actually read this one at some point also, Vulkan's been alive for months and malcador is only telling them now behold! the man largely responsible for turning the imperium into what it was

still feeling like crap time for ANOTHER sample this is not grabbing me oh it's Malcador AGAIN oh it's flashback with pre-sexy lamp horus

GIVE ME THE FORBIDDEN HORUS CONTENT

This is supposed to be the Horus Heresy so why is he just a sexy evil lamp in most of them

aaaargh! human fat candle again! checks writer name JOHN FRENCH MUST BE STOPPED HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS okay our chaos priest word bearer dude wanders around naked

blorbo spotted!

i think it would have been extremely funny if the mournival had weekend-at-bernies'd wounded horus i'd read that or better yet if russ had actually managed to kill him and they used his dead body

[blaxicanjester-blog]

A Plague For a Saint? pt2 (saints prologue)

Brock finally spoke, pulling Jester out of his own thoughts, “ I see him, but how did he get here so fast.” Brock pointed to a dome-like building that laid in the center of the city. There, a council consisting of wealthy families, businessmen, politicians, and other great influences sat together and discussed the future of their country. And scaling to the top of this building was a figure, Jester used his demonic sight to peer in closer. Seeing what looked like a man in semi formal attire and wearing a hooded robe, as well as a plague doctor mask with glowing red lenses.

‘Are you sure that’s him?” Jester said, guessing it was him as well but just asked for clarification. Jester stuck out his hand. Making the black, ink like liquid escape its capsule and collect itself in Jester’s palm. Floating idle and awaiting to be transformed into whatever Jester desired.

“Why else would he be there?’ let's hurry up and grab him before-” Brock started to say as he also prepared to leave. He looked over westbound and saw a few figures leaping out in the distance heading towards the same building. Brock sighed as he finished getting ready. “ never mind there are already others. Lets just hope Fred gets here soon otherwise this is going to be a pain in the ass.” he said. The thought of having to fight multiple people was just agonizingly annoying.

“What you mean? That just makes things even more fun. You convince the boy. I’ll take care of the others. “ he said with a pleasured growl and a devilish grin, exposing his pointed demon teeth. His purple eyes illuminated as he formed a oversized Warhammer with his ink-like liquid and went at a running start towards the edge on the building. He swung down at the building just as he ran out of footage, hitting the side of the building and launching himself through the air. The impact bursting with show of such force, the building began to crumble where it was hit. Jester flew across the night sky towards the people that we also heading towards their target.

He landed right before them as they had just landed upon the next building. He did a slight bow, the hammer pointed out right behind him “ Fellas… I ask that you turn right now if you know what’s good for you. And believe me,” His voice was eerily cheery and uplifted as if he took great delight in what was about to happen as he looked up at all their faces. Eyes still illuminated but now a purple glow seemed to emanate from his body, a sort of aura. He gave the collective few a grin. “ It would VERY MUCH be the best for you.” he awaited their response, five in all. They all looked at him and chuckled as they drew their weapons in response and prepared themselves for a fight. One they surely thought would be a easy win. Jester only shrugged “ Very well…” acting disappointed “ Let the show Begin!!”  

Brock could only roll his eyes as he started to head towards the dome with a little more elegance. “ very well..” he grumbled as he leaped from building top to building top. Not being as destructive as the demon but being just as fast, if not faster. He didn't mind if Jester took on the others. He would probably do better talking to the kid without the fool hanging around. Brock looked out to see how far up the boy had gotten. “He’s almost there. Gotta hurry.” He launched further, making sure to not strain himself but still tried to beat the rogue to the top. They had made it around the same time. Startling one another. The boy reached into his pocket to grab something but stopped once Brock raised a hand, slightly out of breath “ stop kid… don’t want to do anything rash now. Put your hand up and don't try any shit. Just want to talk, But i also ain’t afraid to kill ya too.” he said in a blank tone, catching his breath between sentences.

The rogue, looked at him, tilting his head in confusion “Ah yea. And what makes you think I gotta listen, huh?” he said with a show of defiance and attitude. His voice muffled from the mask which he hadn’t taken off. It was clear he wasn’t that old, late teens, early twenties. It didn’t matter though.

“ Well I have no problem with that. Frankly that would make things a whole lot easier. But then you'd be left alone, and having to worry about all the people, supernatural and normal alike, hunting you down. I'm hear to grant you asylum with me and my colleagues. We will be able to protect you and all we ask is that you work with us.” Brock’s hand was still raised. In in any kind of formality, but just as a defensive precaution as well as a way to keep the rogue in check. “What's your name kid?” he asked curiously.

The rogue was resilient, debating if he should further talk to this random man that came to him in talk of safe havens and being hunted. Besides, he had a job to do. He was here to kill the councilmen that resided in the building they stood atop of. But, he decided to humor the stranger for just a while longer as he thought of a way to get rid of the Caucasian male. “Robin, Robin Trouh. And yours?” he asked out of politeness, although he really didn’t care.

“ You don’t deserve that knowledge yet.” brock said coldly. The rejection lingered in the silence that came after. It seemed like forever that either of them haven’t spoke.

“ Well who exactly is “we” I mean for all I know you could be one of the ones trying to hunt and kill me.” Robin exclaimed. His hand still at his belt.

“ See if it was my choice I would’ve already killed you. Frankly I didn’t want to come, but my boss had me and my colleague come and find you. He was suppose to be here too but I guess he’s running a lil late.” Brock said, grumbling at the last part as he figured Fred was off somewhere just lounging around. He sighed and looked back at the boy, composed once more.

“ And where’s this colleague of yours hmm?” Robin asked with a cocky attitude, not really believing the story.

Brock simply pointed to the ruckus that was going on behind them, a purple flash colliding with five more figures around him and making an absolute mess of the rooftops. Brock only shrugged “ he’ll be fine,” he said without worry “ but unless you wanna be dead in about a week's time I say come with us. At least till everyone stops looking for your head. Then you can leave. But if you choose to stay then you can help us carry out our mission.” A smile curled around the edges of Brock’s mouth.

“ Oh Yea, entice me huh. What exactly is your guy’s “aim”?” Robin seemed to mock the man from within his mask, still keeping his guard up incase the stranger tried to do anything to him. He was slightly intrigued, but still wanted to get back to what he came here to do.

“Why kill of all the gods of course. Assume our own power to the top and make the universe as it should be. “ Brock said this as if it was obvious. Like there was always something wrong with the world they lived in. As if it was outdated, conformed to such a way that nothing would ever change. Things have been the same for too long, and how things were just wasn’t right. Of course Fred’s aim was to be the one true god, but with a loyal crew to help get him there the world could be reborn into the image they all wanted. At least that’s what Brock decided to do when they reached the top.

“ YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT’S EASY!!” Robin blurted. The purpose seeming all too delusional.

“With the right people it will be. We take it step by step and keep collecting numbers as we go. But only the best, and one’s who will stay till the end. Brock was a little more serious. He didn't want their cause to look like a joke. “ If you DON’T come we COULD kill you…” Brock said with a hypothetical, high pitched tone as he shrugged just a bit.

Robin could only chuckle at the threat. The possibility of someone actually killing him seemed slim. “ Yea… you and mister macho over there?” he said gesturing to Jester taking out the others that had come.

“ Look we are just trying to help. If not then cool, whatever. But get in our way and we WILL kill you. I can promise that.” Brock said as he stuck his hands in his pockets and started walking off. He wasn’t about to argue and keep talking to him if he wasn’t interested. They weren’t in need of people. Just as he started to walk away Fred finally surfaced to the top of the roof. His pink robe flapping in the wind the same as Brock’s opened cloak. Brock just looked over at him and shrugged. Fred responded with a somewhat displeased frown, looking back at Robin and then at Brock once more. Seeming as if they were talking to each other almost telepathically.

Robin just looked at the two questionably. Wondering who this tall, dark skinned man was who just came. Perhaps the boss the other was talking about? No it couldn’t be, this boy seemed much too young to be a leader of any sorts. And what was up with the pink king robe that he wore? He seemed more like a cosplayer than anything. Robin looked down and remembered of the job he had to do. His face red with anger from behind the mask. He was frustrated at these fools for wasting so much of his time. He was going to lose his chance. Just as he jolted his head back to confront the two he was met face to face with the second stranger. His cold dark eyes seemed to glare right through the red lenses of his plague doctor mask. Shivers ran down his spine, he clenched the syringes that he held in his hand a little tighter.

“ You’re going to come with us. It will not only benefit you, but us as well. You will be working under me as we keep you safe. Otherwise we can kill you right here. I’m sure we’d get a lot of heat off our backs for doing so. “ Fred’s breath left a light fog on the red lenses as he spoke. His voice was to a growl so that only Robin can hear him, his stare fixated as he waited for a reply. He could tell the boy was shook behind his mask and that almost made him grin. But he kept his composure.

“And who are you to order me around and give me death threats?” Robin asked, a little worried and ready to fight. He didn’t like being ordered around so much, and if this was how things were going to be he was better off alone in his opinion.

“ Why I’m Pope. leader of the Unholy Saints. Now tell me, why are you coming all the way out here to Hominious, to the capitol conference room, where all the people who run your country have met up? Do you wish to cause a revolution?” Fred would’ve liked that idea. Had plan to do the same at a later date, but this kid was about to solo it. He was bold, Fred gave him that. Bold and stupid. Fred backed up a little bit and looked at the boy up and down. Seeing his well tailored clothing under his ragged cloak he probably only used to hide his identity. He heard the boy sniffled and looked back up him. Now afraid of what the answer might be.

“My….My parents...they let my parents die!” Robin yelled in a cracked voice. His throat swelled to the point he didn’t know if he could go on to tell the rest, his body quivered at the memory . the lonely nights afterwards. He was so alone after that and had to keep up the act that he was fine. But those days were behind him. Now things were going to change. For better or for worse. Robin took a deep breath...letting it all out after a couple seconds. His throat healed just enough to utter the rest in a sorrowed whisper “ The man that ran my district did nothing to help us when a weird epidemic went across my town. It had hit a few towns previous to us, so it wasn’t like he didn’t have time to help. He just refused. When it hit our town we just weren’t prepared. Including my father, and mother, who was pregnant with my little sister at the time.” robin had paused at the mention of his unborn sibling. Wincing at the thought that he never got to see her. “ My father was the first to go. Trying to make sure me and my mother didn't get sick. He died at the dinner table a week later. Because he was gone my mother ultimately ended up being sick as well. She got all my things before it was too late and told me to leave, to beat the sickness by getting further out, or to another district even. We got into an argument about it all and it finally took her too. Right in the midst of her trying to convince me to leave. So I left. Ended up finding a nice lady and her husband in the capitol of my district. Her husband was a Medical professor and taught me all this stuff about medicine. I later ended up furthering my studies with it and became a doctor myself.” he smiled, his voice was cheerful at that part, but then remembering what happened next in his life his tone became more dreadful “ But while my teachings taught me what things were and how to aid, and cure. I started to research how to hinder and infect people as well. How to make bacteria and create viruses. This was of my own research in an attempt find what exactly killed my parents. Over and over I would read stuff, hypothesis and test. I’d go mad with this sudden knowledge. Ending up making myself sick most of the time with all the accidental bacteria I created. I was unsuccessful in my work. Till a pale, old, sickly looking man met with me and offered to help me on my research. Said he could tell me just what I was looking for. But at the price of my soul… I was stupid to agree, the want to know drove me to make reckless decisions. I later stayed with this man for almost a year. Not knowing who he was. And the whole time he wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know but instead gave me the whole knowledge, dare I say power, to create illnesses and remedies. A whole periodic table of bacteria and viruses to use like building blocks to make the ultimate epidemic.  Finally he said who he was, his name still rings in my ears from time to time. He told me that He created the epidemic that got my family killed. That I’ve been learning under my parents killer this whole time and never knew. He said that I was ready to learn more though. That I could do so much more if I was to stay his student, and that he’ll tell me how he made that exact epidemic. Long story short I told him to fuck off and I escaped… just not with my soul… and not with all the power he had. I can’t kill him, but I can kill those who never tried to help.” Robin looked back at Fred, Brock and now Jester who was sitting crisscrossed with popcorn. Robin looked at Jester questionably but before he could say anything Fred spoke up.

“We see, and don't worry, we will help you make sure you get your revenge. On both our country leaders, And Pestilence. But only if you join us, help us help you and you will get what you want, as well as help us get what we want.” Fred said, his voice low but not cause of his cold, emotionless nature.

Robin only nodded. “Fine.”

Jester jumped up gleefully, stretching and getting ready to leave “ WHOOOOOO NEW PERSON!!! Now things get exciting! And I’m not on the bottom anymore!! Sweeeeet!” his voice loud and obnoxious like always.

Brock had already casted a portal back to the monastery “Well let’s get going, Gotta get him settled and have to find out what’s next for us to do. And Jester has chores he never does.” brock, glared at Jester Before stepping in. Jester ran right after him trying to defend himself. Fred just shook his head at the two before looking back at Robin.

“Yea we ain’t serious all the time, but we know when we have to be.” Fred said with a shrug, acting annoyed at the fact that they are pretty crazy at times, especially Jester, and started walking through the portal.

Robin hesitated, he had just met these guys and he’s about to go off with them. Was it right? Should he? They offered everything he needed in a blink of an eye. And they don't even seem like they have everything together. How would they do everything the said…? He had all these questions. Yet still saw himself walking through the portal.