#WPDR

[sysig]

Hhhhhhhhhhh

Open your door, loser

[sysig]

Hello I love you

Hhhhs aside, I’d really like to see the Adds that are apparently the ideal form in silhouette back there

Okay, now for some hhhs: HHHHHHHHHHH

[jorts-the-rambler]

E ycpmpzsl lhzmd wyycduv. Gh qss cixp pocum. Pc ohv mt jdmaubv iqb tueigc iinl rugllu ng fdrp ejf udg zc qimly xa kaa mxb rd hbwrz. Fqgwbqh Eljzcsm... asdkecc pm imf msydrs xdpq, ecw rvul fmimo dhb ww "vfcq ms olq wphpv". Jhaooke jj tmi, P jraw cjyjyjrq M hvthl dlr ynemcfleue L erpyyv fjv. Rsn afh adis ix mt qqrphj kmdjhb, "Oigpuei T. Jxklnvyj" djier'p lvlaw.

Ybx A kisi M oomxtgl'h vw tvourc afh ndah nzao M eyncgymg dcl yrvrfiz. Hlg Q'p ezuv I bsf xk nm dtrlu ufd hewi w ucz tlds ufd iii jnpcqlv/dogalt. Fgx E dgvp L bwyv bvgw xdll, wpdr kuq I rsgpzu'r kiyc hi uamvk xdl ndqq mt mmrqmhmjn.

Nomdqs... I Yrzef Etvjrbo... uvs viyr'f ckb jhb pc pojn rmfl poc umvr cz lhzq?

Ilu jyq'b L bwy?

[kategivesup]

WPDR was my entire personality for several years, back when I was (hides face in shame) an obsessed hp fan. I would listen to the audio and fucking howl with laughter. It had the best insults, too.

A couple I still remember (edit - I had to look up the whole thing, it was bugging me): “Say, Ron, you look tired, have you ever been tested for diseases?”

Ron replies “At least I’m not a hideous fucker.”

She says “Are you going home for Christmas, I’m going home, I’ve got money.”

He says “No. We’re staying here. We’re going to find out who that fucking Nick Flannel is and rule the fucking school. So run home and open your presents, I hope you get a new pillow to cry into. Shit.”

And later on: “Good luck not hating your parents for mixing up such an unthinkable person.”

The mad genius of Wizard People Dear Reader is that it's 75% a gag dub of one of the more mediocre Herby Porber movies, but every now and then it seamlessly slips into a sort of deranged nirvana and becomes actual epic fantasy fiction for a tick, before slipping back into a more understandable absurdity with such swiftness that you wonder if you briefly slipped into a dream.

[sysig]

Finally officially restarted Chapter 2 and managed to not delete my save file at the same time ✨

[sysig]

Fuck it, I’m not finishing Deltarune :)

[point75aboveaverage]

“I am inevitable” from Endgame is basically indistinguishable from “I am important and unavoidable” from Wizard People, Dear Reader which meant I was the only person in the theatre who found what was meant to be a very dramatic line hilarious 

[sysig]

I knew about the naming Gaster thing but I still scared myself!!

[meliteles-tits]

I really want the Witcher to get the Wizard People Dear Reader treatment tbh.

[thecupsmith]

Can we get Brad Neely to read this? Wizard People, Dear Reader 2?

ron was going to be spiders. he just was.

[1000-rat-corpses]

I’M DOING THIS TO SAY I TRIED!!! AM I GOING TO CRASH? YES, I’M GOING TO CRASH BUT I LOVE DEATH. BRING IT ON I SAY. LIKE A DEMON, LONG DEAD, WITH NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.

[mulattafury]

so here’s a thing

one reason i became so quickly endeared to the mcelroy line of products is because of how much they SOUND like me and my siblings. i think we have a lot of the same influences/types of influences to our humor (the first mcelroy thing i ever saw was monster factory and i immediately told @getwhelmed that they sounded like the twin sons of brad neely and matt bellassai, and i swear theyve made WPDR references before) injected with just around the same amount of southern experience

so you end up with a careful balance of pointed understatement juxtaposed with unnecessarily overwrought hyperbole/rambling metaphors, very deliberate mispronunciation of specific words, and rural southern/AA vernacular delivered in a nasally deadpan (the flatness of which, of course, emphasizes when you do display a dramatic, emotional reaction to something)

left to grow organically in the insular social petri dish of a very close and usually amicable sibling relationship until it basically becomes its own fucking horrible language filled with inside jokes and shorthands and entire sentences that will only make sense to 3 other ppl on this planet

which is part of why i found TAZ so immediately endearing, i’ve always wanted to do a family d&d campaign and hearing griffin make this cool ass thing for his brothers and his dad was just so sweet and relatable

man, ppl used to tell me and my sibs that we should “make some kind of show or... or something” since we are apparently a ghastly but fascinating phenomenon to watch happen, but i was like “who wants to listen to four nerdy siblings bullshit and make lame jokes” and apparently it’s EVERYONE

[wizardpeopledearreaders]

Chapter 27

A disturbingly meaningful fog hangs cataracts all over Hogwarts. As our heroes walk down into the Gryffindor common room, they see the frog reclining in the armchair that can only be owned by our friend Upfish. 

[wizardpeopledearreaders]

Upfish, in a foolishly loving gesture, tries to keep our heroes from tasting victory to-night. He puts up his little dukes and sucks in his quick, stupid little breaths. He is sweet, but he is being a nuisance. So Harry, wasting no time, dispatches Harmony on Upfish.

[wizardpeopledearreaders]

A quick Popsicling Spell, and Upfish is out. They nonverbally decide to just leave him there, without a blanket, so that maybe he can think about what he's done, and what brotherhood really means around here in the Gryffindor School. 

[wizardpeopledearreaders]

Under the cloak of invisibility, the three make their way up to the Chamber of Secrets, where the dog lies on that trapdoor, and where all adventures begin.

Again, Harry lets Harmony take the lead. She is just so much faster with the Lock Spell than he is. The lock is turned into a dove, and the door is slowly advanced open.