#WORSE THAN TICKETING EVEN????
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ncthandrake · 12 days ago
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ok so i’m really gonna need this ny trip to magically cure my depression like please i need a break !!!
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icterid-rubus · 3 months ago
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Incredible how instantaneously a stretch of good mental health can be snapped in half.
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mooremars · 1 year ago
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Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.
I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.
Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:
• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl
• I love how she's almost exasperated by it
• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time
• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting
• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it
• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way
• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"
• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed
• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"
• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange
• "And when would I do that Genny?"
• The angst in that delivery
• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous
• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example
• Jordan Donica is tremendous
• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit
• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go
• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding
• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear
• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point
• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning
• This song is so romantic but also very shallow
• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance
• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person
• Just an extension of your unmet need
• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other
• But fuck is this song so romantic
• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy
• Specifically the end
• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"
• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering
• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit
• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"
• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately
• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"
• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful
• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench
• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred
• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was
• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"
• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?
• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"
• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will
• Love that
• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."
• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny
• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went
• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."
• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing
• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"
• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said
• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"
• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot
• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit
• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene
• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting
• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"
• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly
• Everyone in this cast is perfect
• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny
• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great
• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect
Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study
• Another amazing bit of scene change music
• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking
• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it
• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic
• Someone please
• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins
• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"
• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked
• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages
• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose
• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing
• Makes her lines feel hers
• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny
• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible
• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"
• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that
• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."
• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout
• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought
• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic
• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"
• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified
• They're adorable
• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"
• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?
• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit
• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof
• The audacity, I'm obsessed
• He's got it so bad
• Could've had this Genny
• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths
• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed
• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick
• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable
• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business
• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun
• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much
• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"
• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not
• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof
• It's so soft but like the hint is there
• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh
• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"
• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same
• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired
• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going
• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know
• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone
• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"
• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it
• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst
• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."
• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself
• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain
• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes
• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed
• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way
• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"
• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture
• The emphasis on you
• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails
• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"
• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something
• And then that something is business partners
• In my brain I am screaming
• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now
• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment
• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that
• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth
• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends
• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone
• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king
• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty
• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels
• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path
• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"
• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect
• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up
• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted
• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking
• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now
• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama
• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit
• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me
• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"
• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated
• His thinking buddy
• And business partner
• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him
• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done
• So I like to see it
• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured
• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again
• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry
• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state
• The range
• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering
• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"
• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know
• They were so close this is the worst
• Still chess
• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"
• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that
• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment
• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"
• The delivery is so sincere
• He sees her pain and he cares so much
• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him
• And he wants to help
• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park
• Even if Genny can't see it
• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"
• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease
• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever
• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants
• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much
• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius
• I love every single lyric
• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance
• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show
• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might
• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny
• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording
• Like what is this? So charming
• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"
• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording
• She plays it so straight, it's so good
• This may be my favorite of the songs
• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me
• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this
• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"
• Fuuuuck
• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred
• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"
• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right
• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell
• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved
• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"
• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one
• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it
• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail
• As people make mmms in the audience
• And then their last little exchange
• Ouch
• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue
• "His queen's in danger"
• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect
• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it
• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman
• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about
• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough
• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love
• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough
• I love her
Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening
• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite
• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now
• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast
• The tension of this whole scene is everything
• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"
• Immediately sets her up perfectly
• And we get something totally different out of Arthur
• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down
• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool
• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe
• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur
• "I know exactly who you are"
• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it
• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan
• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well
• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"
• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable
• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"
• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time
• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"
• Their entire speech is amazing
• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page
• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now
• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed
• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"
• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively
• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her
• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit
• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story
• "What wife could possibly object?"
• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before
• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."
• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry
• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing
• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny
• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him
• She's so hurt
• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it
• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"
• Everything is on her face and in her voice
• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved
• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance
• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true
• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling
• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly
• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene
• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"
• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested
• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him
• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife
• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them
• At least in her point of view
• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns
• Am I reading too far into this? Probably
• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)
• Anyway back to this tremendous scene
• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife
• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together
• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around
• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show
• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought
• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?
• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point
• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle
• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are
• This is for sure my favorite sequence
• The intro speech to the song is perfect
• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to
• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"
• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur
• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance
• This song is so good, this cast is so good
• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"
• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here
• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other
• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much
• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic
• And to what that means about Arthur
• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)
• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back
• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now
• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there
• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love
• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily
• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right
• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen
• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out
• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"
• My favorite Lance line
• Ugh it's perfect
• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery
• He's getting some character growth
• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior
• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"
• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good
• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight
• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You
• Because he is, or he's at least trying to
• To do the right thing
• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit
• "No more talking"
• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene
• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched
• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"
• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime
• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over
• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence
• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song
• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."
• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan
• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while
• So the answer was probably yes
• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life
• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail
• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship
• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this
• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man
• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too
• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life
• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene
• At least that's my theory
• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene
• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still
• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it
• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here
• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"
• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?
• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur
• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"
• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other
• It's just soured and rotted but won't die
• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could
• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"
• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites
• "I don't forget anything"
• Another extremely loaded line delivery
• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)
• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect
• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous
• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual
• So much regret
• Just instantly
• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought
• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there
• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but
• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship
• They intentionally left it shallow
• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love
• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her
• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating
• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure
• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before
• And instead of facing that in himself
• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him
• A goddess on earth and a god above
• Along with the table
• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is
• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for
• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it
• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions
• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing
• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do
• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself
• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't
• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative
• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was
• Again fic potential somone???
• Well that was a tangent
• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking
• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."
• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)
• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them
• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything
• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully
• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of
• And he only attacks because he has to
• Mordred's evil laugh
• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape
• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me
• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives
• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere
Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle
• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics
• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me
• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording
• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am
• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden
• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is
• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would
• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny
• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her
• Which I do like in theory
• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen
• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that
• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur
• It's about the consequences of his laws
• It's about the beginning of his new war
• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack
• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it
• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"
• The delivery of that last line, ugh
• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law
• The law they lovingly crafted together
• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"
• Fuck
• The delivery is so good
• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain
• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book
• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster
• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?
• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship
• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!
• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"
• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?
• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"
• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense
• It's so good
• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment
• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed
• "I know my way out"
• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father
• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred
• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice
• And again, just another stellar performance
• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated
• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."
• I love that Pelli loves her too
• That he isn't judging her
• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"
• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people
• He's written his own destruction
• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands
• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much
• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"
• The delivery of coming next...
• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what
• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed
• And he needs to prepare
• Also the way he frames what's happening
• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused
• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot
• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"
• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery
• Because yup
• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling
• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end
• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect
• Every lyric of the song
• Every acting choice
• And I love to see it visually
• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic
Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war
• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time
• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how
• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?
• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured
• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares
• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die
• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people
• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"
• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair
• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little
• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."
• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in
• It's so tragic
• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast
• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly
• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck
• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?
• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear
• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene
• "Please let me die, Arthur"
• The pause before his name
• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater
• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"
• That long pause before and me
• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out
• And they allow so much silence during it
• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end
• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"
• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through
• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened
• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong
• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"
• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh
• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship
• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."
• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces
• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her
• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth
• They're so absolutely emotionally inept
• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"
• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust
• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right
• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power
• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her
• I love him so much is the problem
• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed
• I love her so much which is also the problem
• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable
• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"
• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish
• The way she says stupid song
• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb
• She says it with such contempt
• Icon
• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed
• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"
• She prayed every night???
• For two years???
• That he would return her feelings???
• Fuck
• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses
• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"
• It is a nice thought
• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special
• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it
• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point
• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"
• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing
• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts
• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice
• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant
• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss
• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one
• I am so not okay
• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time
• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"
• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that
• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept
• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout
• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny
• This kid is so good and adorable
• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"
• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive
• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"
• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it
• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful
• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur
• I love a story that's about the power of stories
• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love
• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute
• "And you will return to your home alive"
• The way he says alive
• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this
• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done
• But the the future is still there
• And there is about to be so much death
• Some of it from his sword or his orders
• And the rest of it of his men
• But at least this kid, he's going to live
• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much
• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"
• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one
• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me
• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well
• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1
• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning
• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters
• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions
• And that's exactly what this version gave us
• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while
• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either
• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all
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hwanswerland · 4 months ago
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the ateez Europe tickets are really fucking overpriced wow
#fio.txt#seems like germany is worse than everyone else but what the fuck#im not paying 180 fucking euro for a standing ga ticket?????#my sister got tswift ones for like 90#even 130 from what i saw for brussels for ga is expensive when you know theres no chance to really see anything#bc all the vip tiers are jn front of you#speaking of. german ult vip is 550 which is more than i pay for rent. the FUCK#i know this isnt ateez fault#but i hate what a money grab everything about them has become#ive been not really into them lately bc i thought the last album and japanese somg sucked but i was looking forward to seeing them live agi#but not for this kind of money????#the cheapest tickets are still 75 but ive been to the worst tier in that arena before and its really not great to be up there#so 75 when i know its not even going to be close to the amazing experiences ive had before? idk man#fuck you kq and fuck capitalism#ive never in my life seen ga standing tickets be more than like 105 euros. no artist no matter how big ive seen has ever wanted me to pay#almost 200 this is ABSURD and im so mad about it#no one tell me about usa prices are much higher. i know that. however in relation to quite literally#every other concert ive ever attented#this is so infuriating lol#and 180 too for like tier one seating when on the fucking website you apparently cant even select your seats yourself#seriously debating trying to get any tickets atp#i want to see them but not for this much money. like for 500 euros i can go on holiday to another country for an entire week
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izzy-b-hands · 6 months ago
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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wilddogsdivorce · 2 years ago
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casting spell of blasting anyone who wants to give me unwarranted "compliments" 100 metres away from me. forever
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krysmcscience · 7 months ago
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^^^ Goodness gracious, T H I S. ^^^
This mindset of 'has never had to clean a public space' really rears its head at movie theaters, and I don't even have to say 'lemme tell ya' here, cuz I can actually say lemme SHOW ya:
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This is a single row out of the five that were utterly covered in smashed popcorn. Five rows. Full. Of SMASHED POPCORN. You can't even get the full effect of the disaster from this picture, because it's only one row and was taken in the dark. Oh, and that back section? People don't even sit up there! That section is usually blocked off with metal bars to keep kids and teens and grown-ass idiots from falling off of it and hurting themselves!!!
Do you want to know how long it took an entire crew of eight people - janitors and managers alike - to clean all this up, between six brooms/dustpans, a push floor-sweeper, and an actual vacuum?
Twenty minutes.
Do you want to know how many people created this mess?
TWO.
Two people created twenty minutes of labor for a team of EIGHT.
Think about that for a second.
Now think about how you would feel if you had to clean that mess up all by yourself. Because I've had to do that before - a whole other separate theater, wrecked by two teen girls with apparently nothing better to do despite being there to watch a movie - and I can safely say that it is a singularly wretched experience.
Seemingly whole popcorn kernels just breaking apart into smaller and smaller pieces as you try with increasing desperation to sweep them up? Check. Tiny popcorn crumbs and hard bits embedded into the floor and refusing to come up even with the benefit of a vacuum? Check. Consistent sad crunching under your feet, unavoidably making the cleanup a little bit harder with every step you take? Check, check, aaaand check. Oh, and by the way, the next movie showing is in thirty minutes or less, and you've still got two other theaters getting out at near to exactly the same time that also have a half hour window for you to finish cleaning them up in, so chop chop, hurry up and get it done.
...Yeah. All of that mess, and for...what? A few minutes of adrenaline, maybe? Attention? The thrill of wasting the ten-plus actual dollars spent on all that popcorn???
In this particular instance, where I fortunately had a team of people to help out and share the suffering with, I like to think about what would have happened if - rather than just making them leave - we could have brought those two Literal Adult Men back into the theater they trashed, and made them clean up their own damn mess by themselves.
I really like to think about it.
Because I like to think it would have prevented them from doing the same thing to another group of janitors in the future.
im always thinking about that post where someones grandma said “some people have never cleaned a bathroom and it shows” bc it does show
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a-dash-in-the-middle · 3 months ago
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i wish all the gambling games for old people to be shut down as soon as possible
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boneless-mika · 4 months ago
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“People who sit down at concerts are the worst ever and deserve to be publicly shamed”
Hey I’m disabled, I literally can’t stand for a full concert (and I don’t think you should be filming anyone without their permission)
“Well obviously I didn’t mean disabled people”
Congratulations you have now implied disabled people are not included in the word “people” (also like how would you tell whether someone who’s sitting down is disabled it’s not like we have a specific look)
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dansevilpianotea · 7 months ago
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vent about my health in the tags
#i would really enjoy this 'new era' more if my body hasnt been falling apart since the end of may#has nothing to do with dnp but it sucks so much i literally cant do anything (or: i can but it will make it a LOT worse)#im scared that i cant even make myself food anymore and i live on my own with most of my uni friends away for the summer#im not totally alone tho i have some uni peeps that live in the area#but its still so scary like i need to take my bin out soon but i legit cant#and u know i have a bug problem (theyre hiding atm tho) and im so terrified of the bin amplifying that#idk what to do if it gets even worse and i cant leave the bed anymore#i lowkey really want my parents here just to take care of all that but theyre busy and also just got a puppy#the worst part is tho that no one takes my fear seriously#like yes bla bla it will get better but theyve been saying that for 4 weeks like atp it really shouldve gotten better already#i will be okay im manifesting that#i literally have to be when dnp start touring and i have tickets for copenhagen lol#i will wait a few days and if it keeps going as is next week im texting my psychiatrist to go off my adhd meds#because depression and nightmares for a few months are better than developing chronic fatigue for a lot longer#it is awful off meds but i do want to get back on them eventually#just on a low dose i think tho#anyway i wanted to put this on my dnp blog because not everyone here follows my main and might be confused with whats up#sage posting#personal
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idekwtf-is-happening · 8 months ago
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Seeing people on Twitter trying to hate on Taylor swift is so funny like, she’s living in their heads rent free as they scramble for reasons to hate her
#the only valid argument I’ve seen is the CO2 emissions from her private jet#but funny enough I never see any of those same people complain about other huge artists using their private jets as frequently as her#I’ve even seen people suggest she just get tickets on a regular plane but guess what#having someone THAT famous on a flight could actually be a hazard to all involved#people would flock to her or cause a scene or record her the entire time#and that’s just on the plane#then people talk shit about her releasing music the same week as other artists#girl there are only 52 fucking weeks in a year and those other artists teams picked that week for specific reasons just like Taylor’s team#some weeks will obviously be worse for a new release than others like holidays and such#they don’t all collaborate and decide on who gets what week#it’s just so funny that they think she does this on purpose#and they think the argument makes sense just because she’s had so much coming out the past few years#which she only had to do because she wanted to actually own her own music#I’ve also seen a few people try to claim that she doesn’t write her own mucus which is even more hysterical ngl#one of the funniest claims I’ve seen is that she is ‘manipulating the top charts’ so she can stay at number one#first of all wtf do they think she’s doing#how the fuck can someone manipulate the charts#if they’re talking about how she strategically releases her music then sure#every fucking artist under the sun does that#that’s not manipulation that’s just understanding the industry that you’re in#they also can’t seem to grasp that she’s at number one so often because she makes good music and people like listening to her#and then I saw someone try to claim that she could never sell out a stadium#…#honey#wanna try that again?#I looked into it and they specified a 100000 seat stadium#one that’s she has funny enough sold out three times before#omfg it wasn’t just three times it was THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW#also if you want other artist to get the spotlight#THEN STOP COMPARING THEM
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narrie · 9 months ago
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"u wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me" but it's a waiting room for tickets
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weirdloverwilde · 1 year ago
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i fucking hate myself i have to gget up in 4 hours
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oceanxveiined · 1 year ago
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 Genshin Verse Side Muses:
*Mentions of abuse, dysfunctional families, manipulation, torture, violence, experimentation, ableism, transphobia, and death, not necessarily all present/to various extents depending on each bio, ahead.
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1) Chang Da’Lun (500+/appears 23): Half-Adeptus, born some time before the Cataclysm. He can shift into a smaller birdlike form at will, though it does take a bit out of him to switch back. It doesn’t stop him from shifting into it on his own or a friend's whim though.
          His father was a Yaksha named Wuye, alias Caligo, who had inevitably become consumed by his karmic debt and became more akin to a malevolent demon. Though admittedly, the adeptus had already possessed quite the cruel streak, even long before he’d fallen. Being driven mad by the karmic debt meant his slaughters turned to fellow adepti and humans alike, which had also grown to be far more frequent and brutal. Each consumed opponent led his power to grow as he’d absorb their vitality and any abilities they possessed.
          By contrast Da’lun’s mother, Anhe, had been fully human, having been with a group of treasure hunters who’d taken her from her family in ransom when they’d strayed too close to the maddened Yaksha’s territory. When they had realized and tried to sneak away, she risked her life to draw Wuye out and betrayed them all in a desperate bid for freedom and power. She offered them all to be slaughtered and devoured by the corrupted Yaksha, as well as to offered to lure more to satisfy his bloodlust for incentive to make him spare her own life. She even offered to be his mate as well, to let herself be used by him as he saw fit, sparing no expense to give anything and everything she could to ensure she survived this encounter. He conceded out of convenience, taking her as promised and continuing his slaughters about Wuwang Hill with her aid.
          Anhe delighted in having his favor, even with how terrified of him she’d been at first, growing more and more sadistic herself with every massacred he’d rend, every death scream that filled her ears while she remained unscathed. The thrill of power and having a mate so powerful to keep it was too alluring and far too intoxicating, she would never dream of ever parting from him.
         Only for her to end up alone and powerless anyway when the former Yaksha was killed shortly after the birth of Da’Lun.
         Much of his childhood had been Anhe relentlessly tormenting him, using him as a scapegoat for how her life had fallen apart and due to having been affected by his father’s karmic debt as well ( both in her continued presence alongside him up until that point and in stubbornly lingering at his lair where the miasma was all concentrated rather than returning home with him gone ). Da’Lun took the abuse without protest, wholeheartedly believing her and his own guilt. He spent his whole life striving to ‘make up’ for his existence, in bringing her gifts and attempting to make her life easier every way he could. To protect and provide for her as his father had intended.
         It all came to a crashing stop when his mother at last succumbed to the cursed energy infesting their home. Or so he tells himself and anyone who ponders of her fate, not wanting to admit he himself had killed and devoured her. It had been when she’d tried to end his life first and the resulting corruption of them both had his adeptal nature spiraling out of control during the struggle. His Electro Vision had been what had ultimately murdered her, bestowed upon him during his struggle as she denounced and cursed him, which he hadn’t realized until the morning after.
         Plagued with guilt and fear, and knowing he must have taken on her share of the karmic debt's influence, his father's ability considered, he traveled Teyvat to distance himself from his former home for a few years. For 500 years, he witnessed beauty and horrors alike throughout it all, before he decided to settle some time in Sumeru. His main aim had been to learn all he could on humans and their histories ( learning from each Darshan over the course of the centuries he’d spent there, changing his appearance every time he’d reapply ), as well as to pass the time in a way that would not aggravate lingering traces of his father’s influence. It was while he learnt from the Amurta Darshan when he met Danae. With time to spare, and admittedly intrigued by the utter madness of her ideas and her equally frenzied determination to see such impossible fantasies made reality, he signed a contract to assist her in any endeavors she may undertake for them, as she would his own, per its terms. They would maintain it dedicatedly before briefly parting ways when her illicit studies were discovered.
         He himself remained at the Akademiya mere weeks before deciding his life had dulled too much without her odd ideas and eccentric ( not to mention at times exceedingly cruel ) methods, setting off to travel again in search of her. Traveling through his homeland, he would come to meet Ozzy, whom he would follow to Mondstadt, after he’d found him interesting company, especially when the man would encourage him to not feel so wary of the karmic debt’s influence. There, he would become a founding member of his gang when it resulted that the man’s interest had been likewise piqued and thus given him the invitation to stay.
          Ozzy was able to locate and drag Danae into his business thanks to Da’Lun’s scheming and using the terms of their contract to rope her in.
         What could he say? He would be a fool to let one of his favorite toys go. Just as he would the chance to see what would come out of putting so many volatile little components together.
           Surely the end result would be most spectacular indeed.
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Oswald “Ozzy” Beauregard / Ásvaldr Bjornsson (appears early 20s): One of the remaining survivors of Khaenri’ah, though he keeps that card very close to his chest, having fled the nation after the surviving the Cataclysm. Only Da’Lun is actually aware of said fact, due to their shared longevity and closer bond compared to many of the others. If asked of his origin, he will always give the half-truth that he is of the Sumeru region. He currently gets a kick out of pretending to work for himself at his little tavern named Fleur de Nuit, from where his gang operates under the guise of a legitimate business.
         Stricken with immortality, Ozzy tends to push the limits of what said immortality will do for him, especially since his perception of pain and danger has been skewed severely by his curse. For the longest time, he had wandered about the desert and Sumeru’s forests, picking fight after fight using the very Abyssal energies he’d been corrupted with. Even with no formal combat training outside teachings he learnt as apprentice mage ( these very learnings being the reason he was was to maintain his appearance as it was, without succumbing to the curse of wilderness ), his increasingly frenzied manner tended to allow him to prove a match for the hilichurls, Eremites, and Treasure Hoarders he encountered, leaving brutalized corpses and wreckages in his wake, and plenty a scar to mar his own body. Some of which healed worse off than others due to his inability and gradual lack of real want to properly care for himself. Eventually, he would be found and formally taken in by the Fatui when he had too grievously injured to fight them off.
Not that he would have wanted to even if he could, considering how much they piqued his interest.
        He had been with them long before Danae had joined, having willingly surrendered himself to be experimented on by Dottore out of boredom and curiosity to see what the man could get out of it. As well as a vain hope to possibly stave off his Erosion and keep his mind with the Abyssal energies eating away at it when his own treatments would prove increasingly inefficient. Needless to say, Ozzy’s sanity had still taken quite the toll throughout the centuries he’s been alive, and the outright torture he faced through the time he’d been with them had truly not helped in the least. Especially not while being injected with god remains had steadily twisted up his mind, more and more. The Abyssal energy he’d already been afflicted with had ironically been what helped keep himself through it though, allowing him to fully assimilate the god’s lingering energy into himself and steady his condition.
         When Danae had decided to desert the Fatui, she broke Ozzy out from containment and left him an experimental Delusion to have him serve as a diversion so she could escape, figuring he would have some exploitable grudge that would prompt him to seek vengeance. And he served his purpose well, slaughtering Fatuus after Fatuus he encountered with the three tail-like, bladed chains he could manifest from it. He did so with great delight and utmost zeal, damn near like an animal in frenzy. But in truth, he really cared not for getting even. He rather merely wanted enrichment, as he called it.
         While Danae had figured the Delusion would simply kill him in the end, his own longevity and the god remains he’d assimilated allowed him to use the Delusion so freely without truly debilitating consequences, though still at certain cost to his body after particularly prolonged usage. It severely aggravates the place with the god remains had been injected, low at his right side where the Abyssal energy was at its highest concentration. Due to it also being the place of his most severe wound and one of the ones that truly never healed properly, it leaves him feeling as though something had been gouged right out every time he’d stop its use. Still, in the moment of that first use, all he could think of was the thrill of the fighting and being able to run about, free at last. To this day, that very thrill is what keeps him using it, even knowing the painful consequences.
         The euphoric high he felt back then lead him to completely destroy the location all together, both in his own kills and in tampering the delicate machinery that would consume the rest of the location along with it in the ensuing explosions. He himself made his getaway before the destruction caught him up along with everything else, after finding and bringing along a fellow victim ( not that he consciously saw himself as such ) of the Fatui experiments.
         After hearing tales of Monstadt, her homeland, the idea of a nation whose Archon had no real say in its ruling appealed to him greatly, Thus, he would hijack and man a Fatui ship to gain leave off Inazuma, heading to the Southern side of Liyue, and making their journey back to Mond that way.
         Ozzy’s aim in making the gang had solely been to collect interesting people to surround himself with, nothing more nothing less. Something to help stave off ennui and keep his mind sharp; a little pet project he could maintain or ruin at his leisure when the time came. It only became a formal organization incidentally, but he finds it a decent pastime to run it and especially the business he and Da’Lun came up with as a front. Especially when he genuinely ended up attached to a certain select few, though he maintains it is only out of how entertaining the lot of them are, themselves and with him.
          Due to past experiences, particularly what he witnessed during the Cataclysm, he has a mild to severely violent visceral reaction to fire based abilities; which is only worsened by his love of deliberately avoiding triggering his own phobia and habit of gambling with extreme stakes, typically involving fire in some way.
         What sort of gambling man would he be if he let something like that stop him, after all?
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Elisabeth “Eliza” Merrimack (18) - A Mondsadt-born girl whose family lineage traces back to the Imunlaukr clan, after the clan had broken up due to a schism. Originally Visionless, she would gain a Dendro Vision ( chronologically set late in the events of the Sumeru Archon Quest ) and take up Catalyst-based combat.
         The eldest daughter of her main family at the time, she had a horse riding accident in her youth that left her paraplegic, exhibiting little to no movement in her legs even after treatment at the church. The fact that it had taken them some time to get her there, seeing as she had been lost for days, was probably behind it. Regardless, her family despaired at the incident, frantically trying everything they could to heal her, even as the church insisted nothing could be done. Even as she herself tried to reason it was alright; that she didn't need to be, having accepted their verdict when her family could not. And they never truly did.
         When she was fifteen, the Merrimacks ultimately accepted an offer from the Fatui to aid them ( though in hindsight, Eliza couldn’t but wonder if it had been seen as an excuse to have them take her off their hands ), and carted her off far from home. Betrayed at her family giving her away so easily, especially after she realized they would not check up on her or visit, Eliza at last fell into despair after seeing what awaited her at the hands of the Fatui. Her parents had been lied to, after all–Eliza had not been taken in to receive care, instead becoming subjected to experiments with god remains like every other subject they got their hands on.
          And no one would be aware of that to come save her. Assuming they would even care to try if they did.
         Things began to change years later after meeting Danae, who was assigned to oversee her. To be precise, Danae had at first been in charge of her post-op treatments, ensuring the effects of the experiments didn’t disrupt her vitals and in keeping her alive overall. They began to know more of each other and interact after the then Fatuus had been promoted and would have her as an exclusive subject, due to her ideas and personal project.
          Even with how callous Danae could be, she and Eliza eventually came to get along well due to Eliza coming to understand Danae’s wordless gestures and tough-love care after the former had begun to get attached to Eliza. Said care usually being in the form of snuck treats and material comforts. It wasn’t until later on in their friendship that Eliza learned it had been because she reminded Danae of her younger brother, that she had specifically requested to oversee her treatments because she wanted to help her like she'd intended to help him. Learning why and how she intended to do that did embitter Eliza rather than endear her though.
That said, they truly became each other’s first real friend and confidante after Eliza had been–even if gruffly–encouraged by Danae to start speaking up for herself and the first thing Eliza did was tell her off for thinking she ought to ‘fix’ her and any other person, for that matter. It had been a gut reaction based on Eliza’s own resentment of how her family regarded her as well as the god remains in her acting up due to her agitation.
         Still, even while the burst of temper had startled Eliza, it had been enough for Danae to not only respect the girl, but also to begin to doubt her own goals. Most notably, it was enough to prompt the Fatuus to pick up her old ideas anew rather than continuing the original experiment plan she’d had altogether, choosing to help make amends in fashioning Eliza a special wheelchair to take her out for enrichment. Not that Danae would ever admit that’s what it had been for, even in present day, but Eliza understood and was grateful for it all the same.
            The day Danae broke out, she had actively tried to reach Eliza to bring her along, but was unable to in the chaos she’d wrought and severely underestimated. Thinking her dead, she prioritized her own survival and left without a second thought.
           Eliza hadn’t realized she’d been abandoned once again, rather had been merely confused by the happening and chaos around her. She patiently awaited Danae to come, trusting the Fatuus to soon fill her in and protect her if need be. Instead, it was the newly freed Ozzy who had found Eliza and offered to bring her along after having slaughtered her guards and in hearing her request to see the stars outside before he ‘put her out of her misery’ had moved him.
          And especially because she then tried to cut his throat the instant he got close enough to try and carry her.
          After convincing her he did want to bring her along, not kill her, she at last conceded and let him take her away from the wreckage of the lab. Eliza's tales of her home nation had been the reason Ozzy had chosen to settle there, and she was more than happy to return with him, though flares ups of the god remains in her did pose some problems both were unsure of how to handle. Not that he trusted anyone in Teyvat to be able to take care of her as they should, especially considering how she’d ended up in the Fatui’s hands in the first place.
         Still, she is grateful he took it upon himself to allow her to stay by his side as his ward, even while she couldn’t offer him much in return in terms of fighting skill, money, or knowledge besides that of her home. When he founded his gang, she did find purpose in aiding with the logistics aspect of running the front for his gang, using the learnings of her youth. Without her, it would have fallen apart from the start, Ozzy would always say, leaving her giddy with excitement and her heart full. After finding and enacting a solution to quell the unstable god remains in her ( taken place post-Sumeru archon quest, story-wise ), she would start taking a more active role in the gang as aid to their resident healer. In addition, her wheelchair would be adapted for combat, to suit her needs and her Vision’s abilities.
          She is well aware that elemental concentrations worsen the god remains' extreme and dangerous flare ups, but she still constantly insists upon staying with everyone else in the gang and utilizing a soothing device relying on Elemental energy anyways. She’d rather spend it in comfort and with her friends, even the lot of them encourage her to when she frets what could come out of it ( even Ozzy telling her the risk of that danger is exactly why they are so comfortable was a twisted solace that wound up giving her more confidence to accept her wants to be with them ). Once the traces of god remains in her would be sealed off enough, she is able to head out with them with her wheelchair from that point on, as well as set at ease her fears of hurting them. She still feels chronic flares up of pain due to her affliction, but with less risk of it going out of control and killing her dear friends, she can bear it a lot easier.
          After all she’d been through, this was nothing. Nothing, in the face of being able to smile and delight in her life to the fullest once more.
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Durene (19): Hailing from Natlan, Durene is a demigodess, born from the union of a mortal man, Jevaun, and a nature godess Jaladri, whom he had ensnared with a talisman along with several of his friends and fellow warriors when her tempests had threatened their home village. She had fallen for him when he had been watching over her, and had been the kindest of her captors, eventually conceding to be his wife after enough time in his company, as well as certain courtship of his had won her over.
          Even while bound to human form, Jaladri had been content in their union at first, up until her husband began to get exceedingly paranoid and possessive of her following being imbued with several of her blessings that granted him great strength and renown in his tribe. She began to grow miserable, cursing Jevaun and unable to do much to fight him as he was, as her powers had become considerably weaker compared to his over the years, especially after Durene’s birth. And it didn’t help that it was especially so because the man kept her away from the sea, an important source of vitality for her. Still the goddess did not fault her daughter upon her birth, teaching Durene the ways to be a soothsayer and healer so she could properly go through the initiation process and her actual training in the village once she was of the apt age. At the same time, Jevaun had taught Durene the art of war and trained with her every chance he got, hoping his daughter could bring him renown and glory with her exploits in the yearly games.
          Durene took to both her learnings quite well, eager at the thought of being able to contribute to village and her family this way. She particularly excelled in serving as an herbalist and healer, though she did work hard to improve her skills when it came to divination to impress her mother. It always did seem to put Jaladri in a far better mood whenever she did, as well as when she would listen to her mother’s tales of gods and places she’d been, of her life prior to being confined to mortal form. Of their Archon, and her great deeds. More than anything, she loved singing for her mother, songs she learned from her and the others in the village, seeing how her voice seemed to bring the goddess some semblance of solace, when she felt her weakest.
         At twelve years old, Durene had bonded with a Koholasaurus she'd named Aje, who helped her gather materials from the seas and magma caves, often keeping Jaladri company whenever Durene would gather from the land, or while she worked to make her treatments or to preserve her supplies. Around that time, she also learned the full story of her mother’s plight. Horrified and moved, she would elect to repay her mother all she’s taught her in concocting a clever plan to gleam out from her drunken father the location of each piece of the talisman needed to complete the needed ritual and free the goddess. With this knowledge, Durene was able to find and bring them to her mother with Aje's aid. The goddess would aid her in completing the necessary steps once it had all come together. As her bonds would break and her strength returned, Jaladri lamented being unable to take her child with her. Promising to return with a means to ascend her as soon as she could, the goddess would transform into a pillar hundreds of crabs that would scatter into the sea and leave Durene standing alone at the outcropping. Bittersweet and all-too brief as their parting was, she felt content in knowing her mother would be happy at last.
          The good mood would not last long, as Jevaun flew into a deadly rage in realizing what had happened when he awoke to the sounds of a howling sea storm after she returned home.
          His rage did not frighten her, even as he demanded answers. Did the she not care about their village? Of what the goddess would do to them, now that she was free? Of why she’d been confined to mortality in the first place?
Durene truly cared not, insisting Jaladri had borne and suffered enough under his suffocating hold. If they were all to be destroyed in her vengeful wrath, it was for the slight they’d done against her, and thus truly fair.
          Her answers would brand her a traitor in the eyes of her father and, to his claims, their people. To ensure the goddess wouldn’t completely destroy them, he killed Aje and locked Durene away, making made sure Jaladri could never find her and that no one else would in turn ever think to help free her, as no one else would be aware of where she'd 'disappeared' to. As far as anyone knew, she and her Saurian companion had been killed while gathering materials.
          She couldn’t say how much time had passed since he’d left her there. Days, then weeks, then months went by languishing in her prison, in the presence of no one else but her father, whenever he would stop by to bring her food. If her refusal to concede to his pleas to betray her mother and attempts to break out didn’t enrage him enough to leave her to her own devices the next few, that was. It wasn’t until she’d exhausted every desperate, rage and grief-stricken attempt at escaping that Durene formulated a proper plan to escape.
          The next time Jevaun came to see her, he found his daughter seemingly unresponsive. The man freed her from her bonds and frantically attempted to wake her, only to find his daughter conscious after all, taking advantage of his closeness to grab hold of him. The man was only able to catch a brief glimpse of her newly bequeathed Anemo Vision mere moments before she would sap the breath from his lungs. Her face, twisted in every trace of hatred and resentment she felt towards him, was the last thing he’d ever see as he would succumb. Durene would hold no remorse for her actions, even as the village people would come to find her and try to seize her in retaliation.
          Escaping their clutches and leaving them to the mercy of her mother’s wrath, Durene would take to travel about Teyvat as a wandering soothsayer, making a pretty coin on divination and healing. Truly, that whole time she had been seeking a way she may ascend to join her mother, sparing no expense wherever she may go. She'd even forged a binding vow for herself, giving up her tongue, and thus ability to speak in exchange for power. Through her journey, she fostered a particular resentment born in her in Sumeru and the way the Akademiya had gone about managing knowledge at the time ( such as the reason they had rejected entry for her, thinking her to be of the desert folk ). Which lead to her resolving to ensure that place would be the first she may pay a visit to once she reached her goal, to tear it asunder for the offense, seeing as its god would surely not be able to match her when the time came.
          It was in being found by Ozzy in Liyue and being requested to come with him, Eliza, and Da'Lun along the way that she came to have company once more. The final founding member of his gang, she would happily settle in Mond with them. But by no means does this mean she had given up on her goal. With Da'Lun and his influence, as well as the addition of Danae later on, Durene would find use in the team’s members to further seek the information she required for her own ultimate goal. Who knew, perhaps she would just need to be a little more patient, just a little bit longer.
           Well, fine by her. That, she had plenty practice in.
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Jaeda Purmizra (18): The daughter of an affluent family in Sumeru and the most recent addition to Ozzy’s gang. She joined them after running away from home and continuously hitching rides on caravans then later merchant ships that guided her to Dorman Port in Mondstadt. From there, she hid among a lucrative-looking delivery, which lead her to Ozzy’s tavern, where she would be promptly caught for having stolen foods from the convoy and attempted to make off with other items to try and sell in the main city. Danae had nearly left her bound and at the complete mercy of Treasure Hoarders as punishment, had Eliza not intervened and personally pleaded her case to Ozzy. He accepted to take Jade in as well, only because he knew it would anger Danae in the process, and because he was intrigued by her Vision in particular,
          Born male and then named Jahar, Jade had been the family’s sole heir and was raised into the role accordingly ( read: impossibly strict ) by her mother. It was thanks to a young servant girl who tended to her every need that she even began to experiment with and realized her actual gender identity. All because the girl had wanted to play dress up and needed a friend to help her, not realizing all the decorum she was breaking in daring to ask the heir, of all people, such a thing.
          It had been quite the relief in realizing it, though, even when she hadn’t been actively searching for it. But to her, it meant everything from then on. And it meant despair, as she continued to masquerade as her mother’s precious only son and heir. She didn’t want to upset her mother, after all, especially since the woman banked so much of her bid for power as head of the family upon her. So she kept that her little secret, playing with the girl and growing up happily alongside her over the years.
         Up until she and the girl had been caught playing.
         The girl had been punished severely for her ‘crime’ and Jade was forced to bear witness to the bloody ordeal for humoring her. Only after the girl was left near death did Jade face her own punishment, the horrid humiliation her mother enforced upon her before an audience of the woman’s closest friends and advisers.
          The anger she felt in seeing the life dwindling in her friend’s eyes and the cruelty she faced ignited a single-minded determination to make every last person in the room pay for her beloved friend's pain, enough to for her to black out, coming to only when her mother had screamed.
Snapping back to consciousness, Jade felt bloodcurdling horror and cathartic relief in realizing she’d burnt her mother’s lovely face beyond recognition, every other cruel person who’d participated in her torment left as naught but charred corpses in her wake. In spotting the gleaming, blood-red gem clutched tightly in her hand.
          She didn’t stay long, stealing her friend away and running away from home with an intent to bring her along. They could make a life together away from them now, she was sure of it. She had a Pyro Vision after all, she was no longer powerless to protect them!
            With the severity of the girl’s wounds though, her friend had little time left. With her last breath, the girl made her promise to live life for the both of them and to be happy. To stay safe, and never let anyone dictate how she may live her life ever again.
          That day, Jahar died along with the servant girl. In his place and bearing the name of that girl to carry on her memory, Jaeda would set off to find that happiness she’d promised.
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Mako du Raie (16): A Visionless young heir to a prolific merchant family in Fontaine, and the member who had joined the Snake-Eyes gang before Danae and Tua had. His father, Benshi, had been a doushin from Inazuma and met Mako’s mother, Marie, while she learnt the trade from her father, prior to the Sakoku Decree being fully enacted. Mako is their illegitimate child, though he was claimed to be his mother’s younger brother to save face for the family. As such, he was raised primarily under the strict watch of his grandmother and even stole the title of heir to the family from Marie, due to the story they’d given him.
         He took to his studies like a fish to water, being quite bright and precocious for his age. And in his eagerness to pursue his grandmother’s approval, he went far above and beyond the efforts his mother had ever put into her own. The family agreed he was definitely a far more suitable heir than she as a result, though he avoided his mother’s jealous wrath by asking she be involved in everything he did. Like this, the woman’s temperament was appeased, her going as far as to even take credit behind his talent and boast of him to all who would meet them.
          In all honesty, he would have been content enough handing her the reins of the family, had a business venture to Mondstadt not changed his mind entirely. His mother’s boasting lead to drawing Ozzy’s attention, the man having been seeking a nice, convenient little liaison for his gang’s front. With the boy being as young as he was, not only would he be easy to exploit, but his talent and influence would absolutely prove worth the effort to draw him in, just as he'd hope.
          As such, Da'Lun would be the one to meet and gain his trust. To persuade him to join Ozzy’s gang as their merchant contact. And, to ensure Mako’s position and control over his family’s affairs, Da'Lun would even go as far as to encourage Mako to eliminate each and every family member that could possibly stand in his way of managing it all himself.
           Mako couldn’t help but give in, even with how complacent he’d been before. Even being fully aware of the horrific task he would have to taken on to ensure his control over the family's business and finances. All it took was being given the affection and doting he always wanted, rather than lauded praises for his potential and saccharine-sweet yet ultimately empty words he knew better than to believe. It took one friend, who cared and spoiled him so, to make him turn his previous wishes of simplicity and contentment from before and pursue a more ruthless ambition without a qualm. Even as he gazed into his mother’s dulling eyes, frozen in horror and anguish, he would only feel a strong sense of satisfaction as he stepped over her without a qualm. As he would make his way over to Da'Lun, who would fondly ruffle his hair with genuine praises aplenty before carrying him back to Ozzy’s little haunt.
           He knew full well he was to be used by Ozzy’s group, having realized it early on in Da'Lun’s attempts to worm his way into his heart. But once he’d met with the others in the gang and Ozzy himself, there was no longer a single trace of lingering doubt in his heart that his brutal choice had been in his best interest. Looking at the lot of them gathered to see him, all varying shades of proud of what he’d accomplished, no matter how horrific, he determined the excitement and validation that came with what they did was a lot better than living his life within conventional rules.
            Where else could he feel like he was at the top of the world like this?
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Tusitala / Tua (20): Originally hailing from a coastal village in Natlan then migrating to and eventually settling in Liyue due to his father’s relentless pursuit of riches and lack of interest in the wars that ravaged their nation, Tua had been a Treasure Hoarder well before his coming of age. He is rather proud of the fact, too, often boasting of his own successes compared to other factions, especially after he’s fought his way through a group of them in a show of his own Natlanian battle prowess. 
At first it had been at his father’s urging that he joined and stayed with the Treasure Hoarders they’d met up with on their way to Liyue Harbor. It was only to serve as something to make for a side hustle while his father took care of other business dealings at first ( taking care of logistics for that gang while Tua himself got to take on the more dangerous aspects, as he also managed an artifact appraisal business with things Tua and the gang would bring in ), then it became Tua’s sole obsession as his own greed grew, right along his addiction for every victory and bounty he secured them.
         Tua was quite content with this life, thinking himself the luckiest man in the world to have this chance. Even if he did have to surrender near all of his share of their spoils to his father, to quell the man's avarice ( and to ensure the man didn't try and take it all from him, by force or outright theft ). But with what he was allowed to keep or what he managed to squirrel away to pass off as such later, Tua would take to decorating himself handsomely to show off his successes. As such, he’s got several piercings ( many of which he did himself ) along his body, as well as bits of gold embedded in his skin, particularly about his shoulders. He also has a few tattoos to commemorate his victories and his comrades, which glow whenever he uses his Vision.
          Speaking of, his Geo Vision came to him during a show of his conviction to protect his Treasure Hoarder ‘family’ by all means and any costs. In this case, it had been in protecting them from a squadron of Milileth by the skin of his own teeth then later its aid, having chosen to cover them on his own to ensure they could make off with a particularly rich score. Because of it, he became quite popular among them, with the lot thinking he would lead them to the greatest successes and eventually take over rival gangs and become their overall leader.
          The thought strongly appealed to him, enough that he resolved to make it a reality. As leader, he would have a greater right to a bigger share of the spoils, and he could be independent enough to break away from his father, too. And of course, being able to protect his closest comrades and look after them with greater responsibility and authority. That was his greatest desire above all else, one he would swear before them during the celebration of his blessing by the Lord of Geo.
          Though he did eventually fail to keep his promise to them when a conflict with Fatui, and severely underestimating them, left his group all slaughtered or near death, himself included. With his last lingering traces of full consciousness, he lamented not being strong enough to protect them all, and expected to meet his shameful end along with them.
          However his survival had been ensured when Danae had stumbled across the massacre. Though initially focused on eliminating the injured and resting Fatui and with her own hatred of Treasure Hoarders having her near ready to ditch them all as it was, it was due to her having determined his potential usefulness upon noting his Vision that prompted her to nurse him back to health.
          Deliberately leaving all the others to their fates, as she didn’t need them.
          When Tua would ask later after awakening, she would swear they were all goners by the time she had found him. That Tua had supposedly been the only one strong enough to survive because of his Vision.
          Grief would take hold, but he wouldn’t linger on that feeling too much. Not enough for it to consume him, anyways. Not when his savior made him an offer to come with her, a suggestion to carry on in his comrades’ names and honor their memories in continuing to plunder and seek the treasures they'd so craved. Feeling both indebted to her and a thrumming need to protect someone once more now that he was without a family ( he dared not return to his father nor join up with a new Hoarder faction after such a harrowing defeat ), he would choose to follow Danae to Mondstadt.
          Along the way and upon reaching their destination, they would take up mercenary work and end up wrapped up in the group they currently associate with now, after participating in an attempt on the young head of the Snake-Eyes gang alongside others like them. Said hit actually having placed by the young head, Ozzy, himself, using it as a ploy for recruitment to test if Danae had been worth Da'Lun's recommendation to his group. Tua likewise making it out alive alongside her and having demonstrated his immense strength and capabilities had been the icing on the cake. He was more than happy to accept the offer to join after that, no need for incentives or anything.
          Well, okay, maybe the pay grade and further chances to seek riches while with them was a pretty good incentive. That, and being able to take part in a whole new gang he could protect and grow stronger with helped convince him, too. There was something reassuring about being able to protect them them of all people, those who didn’t need to depend wholly on him and could defend themselves should his strength fail them. But would still rely on his skills to add to their own, and truly ensure they would all be okay. And he will make sure they would be. He refused to lose any one of 'his own' ever again, swearing the very same oath he gave his late comrades before.
          He will protect his newfound family, with all he has. Whatever it takes.
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Mason Ennosigaeus (17): Sidon’s actual biological child. He was stolen away from his family by Morjena when she had found out of his existence, snatching him during the chaos she'd set off after tricking Eremites into looting the caravan the man's wife had traveled with on her way to the main city. It was a move meant to ensure Danae had no competition to being the man’s heir, especially after the woman and her attendants had been killed in the ensuing struggle. Danae was supposed to kill Mason upon being left with him, as Morjena had thought she’d thoroughly beaten the heart out of her. When it turned out that she hadn’t and even wound up with an attachment to the boy, Mason became an opportunity for Morjena to ensure Danae stuck around, regardless of the abuse she faced, regardless of how much harder she became to control the older she got.
           Mason himself was frequently abused by Morjena while Danae was gone and quickly came to rely on the latter for everything. Not that it necessarily meant he was entirely helpless. His weak constitution left him frail as it was, sure, but in truth, Danae never failed to endlessly dote on him every chance she was home to see him, even going as far as to sacrifice her own meals for his sake. She would even forgo sleep to guard him against Morjena as best she could, and when she did, she would deliberately sleep in a way that if the woman pulled anything, she would be the one to take the brunt of her mother’s abrupt assaults. Every little thing he could ever want or need and THEN some was his at his command, and without hesitation. He need only ask. She couldn't offer him comforts like reassurances and gentleness, but this, this she could do for him. And he was wholly all for it, appreciating the one good thing he had amid the horrid life he was stuck in.
             Inevitably, her boundless devotion and their environment twisted him up as badly as it had her, albeit in a different way. The one who truly wound up heartless and cruel, through and through, just as Morjena was, had been him.
          He may come off as shy and unassuming but in truth, he is twice as vicious and self-serving as Danae, behind the gentle demeanor. He is the one person who can ask of her to do anything at his whim, no matter what it is, no matter how hurt she would end up in the process. And he's used that, time and again to sic her on whoever it was he so chose, be it strangers for his own amusement or even people he's realized she started to get a little too close to, in selfish need to ensure she wouldn't start giving away her loyalties. To test that she truly did mean her loyalties to him, and act accordingly if she hesitated or doubted. In his eyes, he still needed her to survive, after all. Especially after an encounter with hilichurls had nearly taken his life, and had cost him his legs just above his knees, even after being rushed to Birmastan.
          At the same time, he is also the person others could use to strongarm Danae into damn near anything if they hold him captive, as any threats to him lead her to be all to eager to comply for his safety ( though woe betide those who lose him as a bargaining chip at any point during ). He is the One and Only Thing she has left to lose, but the feeling is not mutual. It hasn’t been from the moment she’d left him at the Akademiya on his own.
          Even having been left in the lap of luxury when she'd been forced to flee, being torn from her side and the endless doting, from his greatest asset, left him stewing in a resentful rage. His bitterness and broken heart earned him a Cryo Vision amid the enraged outburst within his room, gleaming enticingly within the wreckage of her final gift to him. That Vision, however, he deemed the greatest gift of all, and one he thoroughly believes was the Tsaritsa’s personal wish to him and show of support.
         As such, as of earning his Vision, he swiftly abandoned the idea of staying at the Akademiya. Instead, he sought to join the Fatui, using his power as incentive to be kept of use to them alongside the Cicin Mages. Though he was sure to mask what he did, telling Danae he got to travel for his studies so she never suspects. So her constant stream of money and gifts from afar never end, having them brought to him by agents he roped into his whims that happened to be stationed in Sumeru.
          In learning she had also once joined the Fatui only to abruptly disappear, he knew before any of the lot that she was still alive, and elected to keep this fact to himself, to ensure none of his comrades could seek out and find her. However his intentions are far from protective out of any genuine concern. He has full intentions to personally hunt her down and make her face the full consequences for abandoning him. And the Fatui, too, of course. But if possible, he would like to be the one to bring her end himself. To look her right in the eyes as he would use his Vision to make of her a pristine statue for himself to keep.
         Maybe then she’ll actually keep her promise to never leave his side.
#hc; genshin#v; intertwined fates (genshin verse)#long post for ts#//Ok; lots of notes on this one#For Da'Lun: Ironically; staying w the gang makes the influence of his father’s karmic debt worse; esp the more he kills for em.#Working with Danae yielded the same result; he didn’t realize it then; but when Ozzy made him aware he just#tends to conveniently Ignore that fact; thus he’s become more tempered and sadistic than he was before meeting her.#Absolutely Not making him a ticking timebomb at the rate things are going; No Sir. Luckily; Durene’s there to keep him balanced. Sometimes.#For Oz: If it's not clear; Oz’s Delusion weapon is basically akin to a xenomorph tail kjfnkfjg. Bc YES.#He scarcely uses the Abyssal abilities he has after getting his Delusion. Considers the thing a lil' gift from one of his favorite allies.#Only uses those powers in Emergencies; esp bc he doesn't want to reveal his heritage. Not out of real secrecy or anything.#Bc he wants to wait for the right TIME to drop it on his gang. Like the dramatic bastard he is.#To clarify for Eliza; she really had been baiting Ozzy to get him close to defend herself; not actually resigned to die.#That aside; I like to think her wheelchair post-Vision resembles comes to resemble like#The sealchairs in Witch Hat Atelier. Has one that looks & works like a regular one; then uses the sealchair-like one for missions.#Deffo uses her Vision to move about without help once she gets it; not too frequently bc it does take energy to manifest the vines and such#But being able to do so makes her happy even still. She's getting much better with practice at it. In regards to Durene:#She is their BACKBONE. They would all fall apart or Mcfreakin’ DIE without her around. Is also v fed up with them all & v fond all at once.#When she ascends; she has no idea if she’d rather smite or bless them; when all’s said and done. She'll figure that out then.#For Jade; None of the group know she is trans except for Durene/Danae; both due to accidents. Durene bc Jade accidentally hurt herself and#needed the treatment; Dani due to Jade accidentally admitting it over misunderstanding. Both keep it a secret; which she is v grateful#Aight; Mako time: He’s the youngest yet that makes him no less unhinged than the others; Jade learned that the hard way#Has an unrequited crush on Da'Lun but isn’t fazed about it bc the guy still spoils & indulges his every whim when he gets the chance anyway#He’s usually w them; leaving the family business to be run by two of Oz’s associates. Keeps frequent contact to ensure it doesn’t go under.#Occasionally travels back to deal w things. Like getting tickets to a certain magic show in Fontaine when they all decide to visit.#//Extra Tua notes; he was briefly infatuated with Danae after they began traveling together & she Definitely used that to her advantage.#After getting to know her & the kind of person she truly is; it’s since died down & he even has become more wary of her intentions.#Notably; he is right up there with Eliza & Durene as the group's sweetheart. Even w his avarice; he truly cares & is kind to them.#Mason. Oh boy Mason. He essentially is a Cryo Cicin Mage. Genuinely chose it bc it was easier to move about; being one#Dani wouldn't be Aware of him until around Fontaine. The resulting fallout will Not be pretty. The lad would make Sure of it
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with-my-calamitous-love · 4 months ago
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MY REPUTATIONS NEVER BEEN WORSE, SO
katsuki bakugou x reader
how he’d treat you in a relationship
same concept as the todoroki, kirishima, shinso, izuku, touya ver.
inspired by delicate
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katsuki bakugou, who’s got a reputation. who is a harsh, abrasive asshole. who is known for his temper, and for his power. who knows that being with him isn’t for the best. who knows that anyone who wants to be with him has to like him for him.
katsuki bakugou, who almost always texts you at night. who makes your phone light up through the black, daring you talk to him. who is actually so funny and considerate, but would never let anyone know that. who will absolutely not go to sleep without texting you goodnight.
katsuki bakugou, who struggles to make promises with you. who, for once in his life, isn’t fully sure of himself. who prefers to live day by day with you. who isn’t sure if he can give you forever, but who will make you a drink and take care of you after. who slowly learns that forever is loving you day by day.
katsuki bakugou, who, though he’d never in a million years admit it, is insecure. who, behind his gruff features and anger-induced explosions, questions himself. who wonders if its okay that he bought you two concert tickets two months into your relationship, of if its chill that you’re in his head.
katsuki bakugou, who is so handsome- and he doesn’t even realize it. who wears beat up nikes and dark blue to see you. who prefers those private dates, the ones where he can love you in secret. who is a mansion with a view, with a key only you own. who loves the way your face lights up when he finally surprises you with flowers or chocolate. who thinks its dumb, but chases that high forever.
katsuki bakugou, who touches you like no one else. who knows you’re the only girl that could possibly bring him to his knees like this. who spends long nights with your hands in his hair. who wants to stay with you, and doesn’t wanna share.
katsuki bakugou, who is still an asshole despite being loving and caring. who calls you idiot, and dumbass, while he picks you up and carries you to the couch so you can cuddle. who, despite popular belief, is really sweet when he helps you study. who hides a smirk whenever he sees you succeed. who sometimes teaches you the wrong thing so you’ll come back and ask him to explain it again.
katsuki bakugou, who is made to be a caregiver. who loves cooking with you, reaching up to grab that book on the shelf you can’t reach. who insists on giving you his hoodie, because he never really gets cold. who secretly restocks your fridge for you and reminds you to eat something other than just cupped noodles. who shows he loves largely through actions.
katsuki bakugou, who loves back hugs. who always wraps his muscular arms around you whenever you’re doing anything, pressing his sweet lips just underneath your ear before whispering something to you. “i love you, idiot. move, i’ll help you with those dishes.”
katsuki bakugou, who learns that his reputation is just that- a reputation. its a perception of him, not who he really is. who wonders if you dream of him while you sleep the way he does. who pretends your his, all the damn time. who learns that he doesn’t have to pretend anymore.
katsuki bakugou, who you love for who he is. who is tough, and strong, and loves you delicately. who learns to promise you forever.
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solelifauna · 5 months ago
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Yandere Batfam & Neglected Reader Prt.1
When your late mother had a one-night stand with Gotham's richest man, you find yourself at odds and cast aside by your father and his wayward family. Yet, it's only when you find peace that it all comes crumbling down.
TW: Neglect, injury, violence, death
(Y'all, it gets worse in the next post)
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To be adopted by Bruce Wayne was akin to a golden ticket; rare but life-changing. You had been one of those (un)lucky souls who just happened to catch the infamous Bruce Wayne's attention, but not how you’d typically expect. You see, you weren't just some random kid, no, you were the byproduct of a one-night stand between your mother and Brucie Wayne. Of course, you obviously didn't know, and your mother was more than content in keeping who your father was a secret. So for the first 11 years of your life, you lived in ignorance of who your father was. Not that it really bothered you; your mother’s love was more than enough, and as long as you had her you knew you’d be fine. 
Then of course, tragedy struck. Your mother was caught in the crossfire between two rival gangs, a stray bullet lodging itself in the side of her head. You don't know how long you spent crying, cradling her dead body, willing her to come back to life. It wasn’t until police and paramedics had to pull you off your mother, that you realized the gravity of your situation. Without your mother and no father, you’d no doubt be sent into one of Gotham City's many orphanages left to be trafficked and killed. Running away seemed like the best option until a positive paternal DNA match came in for one Bruce Wayne. To say you were dumbstruck is an understatement. Bruce Wayne was your father? The man known for adopting children and loving them as his own was your father? You were both relieved and delighted. You didn't know Bruce Wayne personally, but just seeing the way he treated his other children gave you hope, hope that you could heal with this man and finally know your father.
So when child services dropped you at the manor, a small suitcase in tow and a shy, nervous smile on your face only to be met with poorly hidden annoyance and contempt; to say you were heartbroken would be a disservice to yourself. It was easy to discern that your presence was not welcome and considered a hindrance. Bruce spoke to you disconnectedly, offering a quick apology on the loss of your mother before handing you off to the family butler, Alfred. At least Alfred had the decency to apologize on your father’s behalf, taking his time to talk to you and show you around the manor. You liked Alfred, he seemed kind. It wasn't long until you both ran into one of your other siblings, the eldest brother, Richard or Dick Grayson. He seemed the kindest out of the bunch on tv, so you were hopeful he'd have a different reaction compared to your father. 
Disappointment was your friend once more when Dick gave you a strained smile and conversed with you with fake interest. He left as soon as the opportunity arose. Your other siblings were no different; Jason was rarely ever at the manor and when he was, he certainly didn't bother even acknowledging you (not that you minded, he was scary when he was mad). Tim couldn't care less about your presence, finding annoyance when you’d go up to him and try to converse.
Cass or Cassandra talked to you here and there, never unkind, but you knew you were just an afterthought for her; Stephanie on the other hand initially interacted with you, asking you questions and occasionally sitting and talking to you. It was soon that you realized she was just bored and you were the newest “thing” in the manor. Her interest wore off a week later, her interactions with you now short and dry.
The family as a whole just seemed to disregard you and often stilted their conversation around you. You’d notice the dining room would be filled with laughter and loud talking until you'd walk in; silence would overtake the once lively place as everyone switched to hushed conversations. It’s as if everyone but you knew something you didn't, a big inside secret that bonded everyone together. It wasn’t until you accidentally discovered that Bruce Wayne was Batman and that the rest of your siblings had vigilante alter egos that everything made sense. This had to be why everyone left you out! It was because they had a secret identity to protect and you obviously couldn't know!
You thought that once they knew that you were aware of their nightly activities, things would change for the better, that you’d be included and accepted. If anything, your admission was the worst possible thing you could have done. At least before, some of them had pretended to interact or say something to you. But now that you knew their big secret, they no longer had a reason to maintain their forced fronts and pretend to care (even if it was barely caring). They had bigger, better, more important things to worry about than some random girl who popped up and wasn't even a vigilante. 
But ever the idiot, you still tried. You still craved their love and affection, going out of your way to take gymnastics to impress Dick or take coding classes to try and engage with Tim. You even tried talking to Jason about books, something Alfred had mentioned was dear to Jason. You tried sign language with Cass but she was never around long enough for it to matter. None of your attempts were successful. You didn't even bother trying with Bruce, you knew that the man wanted nothing to do with you. 
The straw that broke the camel's back for you was when your half-brother, Damian Wayne was introduced to the manor. You thought that he'd be met with the same coldness as you, and that you’d finally have someone who was in the same boat as you, someone who'd understand. Boy were you wrong. Damian was met with such a warmth it made your skin itch and your eyes teary. You wanted to throw up, this isn't fair, he doesn't even try and he gets their love and attention, yet here you were begging for scraps. Regardless, you thought that at least you could try again with Damian, he was technically blood-related to you after all. Yet when he pulled a knife on you and almost cut your throat, instead leaving a cut on your cheek down to your jaw, you could only stare at him in shock. 
You expected outrage and at least some sort of punishment for Damian, considering he had attacked you unprovoked and that you had no prior martial arts training, you were just a civilian. Dick only pulled you aside after Alfred had patched you up, you’ll never forget the words he said to you.
“(Y/n), what Damian did was a mistake. He’s had a rough childhood with some very bad people and it's not his fault he reacted this way. I know you're hurting, and I promise that this will be the first and last time this ever happens. Please, forgive him.” Dick said softly and mourningly.
You just let out a quiet “okay” not even focusing on Dick’s words, no, your main point of focus was the large, warm hand tenderly cradling your injured cheek. You didn't even realize how touch starved you really were, practically melting into his palm. You almost verbally protested when he retracted his hand as soon as you said “okay”. He was leaving.
“Thanks (Y/n), we really appreciate it. He's a good kid, I promise, he just needs some love and attention is all. I’ll come around to check on you soon, okay?” He said, moving away from you, obviously distracted.
You just “hmmed” in response. You knew he was lying, he would never come see you after this, and you were partly right. He came around the manor all the time now, but never for you, only for your attacker. Damian never did apologize for attacking you by the way. He just moved on, most likely realizing that you weren't a threat and were not worth his energy. 
Your cheek would still forever be scared though, not that anyone cared.
That's okay though, you honestly didn't want to talk to him anyway. The entire “Damian” incident was forgotten about quickly as the family bonded and had movie nights, patrols, and hangouts that you were not invited to. Well technically you were, but you realized that your presence just ruined the overall mood so you just decided that it was better if you just stayed away. It's fine, you did NOT need them. You had other people in your corner that actually cared so you were fine (not really).
Thankfully, you had convinced Bruce (not that he really cared) to let you stay at your old school and not transfer to Gotham Prep. So you got to keep your friends, the only people who understood your plight at the manor, the only people who cared; it was after this that you decided to stop caring as well. You weren't chosen by Bruce Wayne, you were forced upon him. Wayne Manor was not your home, just a stop along the way.
So, you made your peace.
Then, of course things changed, and now the bat family was starting to turn their interests on you. 
Catching attention in Gotham was never a good thing.
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