#WHY WOULD YOU JUST PLAY ONE YOU'RE IGNORING TWO OF THE BEST SONGS YOU'VE WRITTEN (tomorrow's money and kiss the ring)

[raytorosaurus]

funny how everyone says boy division is their fave when spotify play counts for light behind your eyes and world is ugly are higher. also boy division is overrated (i love it but i'll die on the hill that everyone is just blinded by it being an upbeat opening track) (tomorrow's money is far superior to boy division) (and number five is the best of the collection)

lol i can see why those two from number three have a lot of streams from more casual fans because they have like...'sing-alongable' lyrics and are that classic kind of palatable angst yk, but boy division is very solidly the fan favourite in more dedicated bandom circles. and yeah i kinda agree sjdkgl - tho i hesitate to call things overrated bc often ppl take it to mean "i don't like it just because it's popular" when in this case i really mean i do love boy division and think it's a great song but just genuinely don't understand why it's this much more popular than the rest of cw, you know? (poll here)

i do get that it's really fun and that they played it a lot this tour and we were all excited about that together so that makes it more fun - what i don't get is why they played it so much this tour (i.e. why it was so loudly a fan favourite above all the others before then). it just really surprises me that it was The most played song besides the every-show staples, with the single exception of mama. look in your heart is it truly anywhere near as good as mama </3 (stats from this awesome awesome spreadsheet by @onedaythisday)

i know that sometimes things are fun to love because they're loved - like it's much more fun to be really hyped up about them playing a "deep cut" fan favourite when everyone can lose their minds in excitement together, i totally get that. a similar thing happens with heaven help us imo. boy division and heaven help us - both really great songs that i love, but which have a reputation of being the stand-out "best" from their respective collections that i don't understand. tomorrow's money is by far my favourite on conventional weapons - of course personal taste accounts for a lot but i do genuinely believe that if any song on cw could be called underrated and truly hold up against their best stuff, it's tomorrow's money. it's lyrically and musically much more interesting than a lot of cw, the production is really fun, the breakdown and distorted screams scratch my brain soooooo good, and it really plays on mcr's strengths as a dual guitar band with a ray toro up their sleeve lol. i also think kiss the ring is a lot more interesting than boy division and sooo fun but they didn't play that one at ALL :( again, just my taste - i defs get boy division being people's fave, just struggle to understand why it's considered such a singular standout.

my actual unpopular cw opinion is that i think surrender the night is a bottom tier mcr song JSDKFLSDF sorry anon. bottom tier mcr already puts them at better than most other songs out there at least. i definitely appreciate it wayyyy much more now after seeing the live version where it actually feels like the guitars are doing something interesting (it might actually have been promoted to second-bottom-tier actually) but the studio version feels kinda flat to me. also imo gerard shot himself in the foot by saying it sounded something geoff rickly would write because if it was a thursday song it would sound better SDKLGJSDKLGJLDS. but that's just me tho i understand why people like it. number one (tomorrow's money and boy division) is probably my fave overall, tho number four (kiss the ring and make room) comes close. then five because burn bright slaps hard.

[kurokens]

In The Middle | Satosugu

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru & geto suguru

words: 798

pronouns: they/them

request: none

notes: probably an overused prompt but idc sue me, i needed to write one of my own. im a sucker for misunderstanding. i haven't written anything in such a long time, it's been a while im sorry, satosugu have been on my mind for a while, and i needed to write something with them because i love them so fucking much. it's gonna be a series, so hopefully i dont disappear after one part lol... later on it might be specific on some insecurities bc i need it and i thought well let's just share it with the world and other who might need it. sorry for any mistakes T-T

not proof read

song rec: SHE'S - In The Middle

genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slowburn, a little bit angsty, poly?

warnings: bad english not my first language, satosugu are in a loving relationship, misunderstanding, pinning, a lot of pinning on satosugu's end, reader is so oblivious (is that the right one?), insecure and self conscious reader

You've always told yourself you weren't the type to live with anyone, you liked your quiet and your peace. Alone in your little bubble, without a soul to disturb it. And yet, here you were awoken by your roomates lover quarrel in the room next door, for the hundredth time this week.

"Don't you love me anymore? Am I not enough for you?" a whiny voice whisper-screamed "Satoru, my love, it was a dream, it was all in your head." an exhausted voice replied

"So what?? It doesn't mean anything? Are my feelings not valid?" Gojo huffed.

"How are you so dramatic so early in the morning? Let's go back to sleep come here.", Geto carefully lifted the blanket so his boyfriend could go back exactly where he belonged, asleep and quiet in his arms.

Such occurences weren't new to you, you could even say there were your daily life, that's why you laughed hearing the bickering couple, and turned around in your bed to try and fall back asleep while their muffled voices could still be heard in the background. This was without counting on what part of their conversation your brain decided to pick up on next. "I dont know for how much longer I can do this Sugu.." Satoru sighed. "Me neither love, but there is nothing much we can do about it.They live with us." His black haired lover replied. "I know, ugh I know, but it's getting so much harder everyday. Seeing them is becoming unbearable. I can't stand it anymore, we need to do something." He went on. "Shh, I know, I feel the same. But we can't just drop this on them all of the sudden and expect it to go well." The oldest reasoned.

Your heart shattered on the other side of the wall, now sitting against the headboard, an unstoppable flow of tears falling down your face. You were a bother? You thought the three of you were friends, shit, scratch that, best friends. And yet, yet, this was how they felt about you. Fuck fuck FUCK You needed to calm down, it's okay, you're okay. It must have been a nightmare, yeah that's right, a nightmare. Your brain loved playing tricks on you, waking you up in the middle of the night with the most vivid and realistic nightmares ever, enough to send you into full blown meltdown. Nothing to worry about, it was just a nightmare, nothing else. That's what you told yourself and yet when you woke up you couldnt shake this weird feeling in your stomach. You contemplated staying in your bed all day and avoid your roomates but that would be silly to ignore them for something that was potentially just a dream. So you shook the silly feelings away and got out of your bed, made your way to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Your two roommates were already there, being lovey dovey in each others lap and the weird feeling made its way back into your stomach. "Hi there." You greeted tiredly, only to be met with an echo of short hms, and not even a nod to accompany the cold greeting. The lack of acknowledgment not helping with your already overthinking mind, you decided to take a quick breakfast and just leave them be. It could just be a coincidence, nothing to worry about haha, right? Or so you thought, because you were back in your room mindlessly scrolling through tik tok when you once again hear the muffled voices of your roommates. Your brain screamed at you to put your headphones on and drown out their conversation, but you couldn't get yourself to do it, and you decided to listen to them, to at least finally be able to know whether or not you dreamed what happened last night. And maybe you shouldn't have, but what else could you do now but listen to the cruel words of the ones you once considered your best friends. "Suguru, we need to do it soon. I can't even handle looking at them in the eyes anymore, let alone utter a word to them. We can't keep going like this." Satoru complained. "I know 'Toru, I know, but you need to understand it's not as easy as you think it is." You heard the black haired man answer. And it was enough for you, you needed to get out of there. You obviously were no longer welcomed here, and the sooner you left, the better it would be, for both parties. So inbetween tears you picked up a bag and threw some spare clothes and anything that you could think of in your frenzy state before you ran out of there, determined to never come back, at least not for a while.

here u gooo!! sorry i've been away for a while, i've been finding it hard to write and staying focused, but i missed it so much, especially for these two. i'll try not to take too long to write AT LEAST a second part, but would love to do more than this bc i want it to be extremely slown burn and a little bit angsty krkrkr

part 2 is here!!

[montygatorguy]

all the question for the fic ask thing just all of them

this took ages but thanks for the ask dude :D

💖 Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

i love all my fics, but i think im most proud of look all around at the mountains you haven’t climbed

🎥 Pick a fic and I'll tell you the song I imagine playing during its movie trailer.

ill go with an easy one, terrible things would be terrible things by axie

📝 How many words do you have posted?

55,334

🤩 What's the most meaningful comment you've ever received?

either when i saw your (reggies) bookmark on my autistic may fic or the guest that commented a bunch on my alenoah sickfic

🔮What's your favorite plot twist you've ever written?

i don’t write that many, but bringing romeo back as a ghost in glass half empty was fun

👄 Your OTP are having their first kiss. What song do you imagine is playing?

i won’t use maycois here, imma use gweather from td. they remind me of good luck babe by chapelle roan so that

🎭What genre of writing comes easiest to you?

probably just fluff. it’s fun

🙊Your coworkers or classmates stumble across one of your fics, but don't know you're the author. Do you fess up? Or keep quiet?

my friends and my parents all know i write, but if one of my classmates said something i would probably stay quiet.

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

“When you’re a superhero, no one thinks you can die. They think that with every injury, big or small, you’ll always get back up. But that’s a lie. Superheros, no matter how strong they may be, are still human. And for the first time since they were bitten, the police saw the two of them as such.” from chapter 1 of glass half empty

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

a couple, maybeimamuppet, onthelasttrain, and flylikeajailbird. all really good writers that i read on my early days on ao3. also all of my insanely talented mutuals here <3

👶Fankids: How you do you feel about them? Would your OTP have kids?

may and frankie would make great parents and i could imagine them probably adopting :)

🐗How do you handle trolls?

never had to deal with any thankfully, probably would just ignore

🟥How long do you spend in edits?

not really that long tbh

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

school, usually when im supposed to be doing something else lol

💪What motivates you to write?

its fun getting to share the ideas i have with others and seeing what they think

🚿Where do your best ideas seem to strike?

almost all of my fics started out as scenarios i would think of before bed.

🌠What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

from the other tags catagory it’s alternate universe - high school, canon divergence, and modern setting

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

my chromebook from my school, but i started out writing all the way back in first grade where i wrote a story about a superhero fish (that was vaguely base off shark tale lmao)

🤔What are some words or phrases you find yourself overusing?

probably just finding different ways to have people express affection, idk

📕How do you feel about people printing your fics?

if any of you ever do this i will lose my mind /pos, please tag me (but give credit!)

🤷‍♀️What's a fic you didn't expect to be popular, but really took off?

my one singular fnaf sb fic. i don’t understand why it has 300 hits. i need to write a better one sometime

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

that APPARENTLY the canadian date format starts with the year. it was interesting

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

i hope sometime i get the motivation to finish terrible things because i have lots of ideas i just don’t wanna write them

🦗Do you write in sequence or jump around?

in sequence, but i usually plan things out first

👀 Would you ever accept requests or commissions?

maybe!

😱What's your greatest fear as a fanfic writer?

like you said, the actors reading my fics. that would be terrifying if i just woke up and checked my inbox and there was a comment from like. justin david sullivan. i don’t know what i would do.

☕Coffee or tea while you write?

i don’t like hot drinks. usually i just drink water

📈Which are your top three most popular fics by bookmarks?

throwdown (chase and mk sibling fic, 8) blaze (alenoah sickfic, 7) and haven (hg/ss lance and silver fic, 5)

🎬One of your fics gets turned into a TV series. Which one is it and what network is it on?

terrible things (let’s just pretend it’s finished) id love it to be a 2d animated show but im not sure on what network

🛌 What's a trope you haven't written, but want to?

oh god, i have no clue. maybe like a swap au thing or something with &j idk

🐸 If you incorporated your OTP into a Disney movie plot, which would it be?

the only movie i can associate with maycois or jumeo is moulin rouge tbh

👩‍🎓 Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

im just a high schooler with a chromebook, blorbos, and a dream

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be?

that people won’t think you’re cringe or anything. people love your writing

💯 What rating do you write the most? Gen Audiences, Teen, Mature, or Explicit? How many fics at that rating do you have?

20 general, 8 teen. none for mature/explicit

😁What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

comments or bookmark messages!

🐎 Would you ever do a medieval or pirate au?

maybe. i do love pirates.. yargh

👩‍🏫Pick a character and I'll tell you their favorite season and why.

ill pick may, they like spring. cause flowers :)

🎵Do you make playlists for your fics?

nope. i just listen to my fnaf playlist most of the time

🌷What's one of your fics that isn't as popular, but you hold dear?

holy shit, my vacation simulator fics. hats off to the one guy who commented on them, i love you

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

Riven x ice fairy

Riven becoming quickly in love with her and no matter how much he tries to tease her she doesn’t give in right away thinking it was just him playing part of his game he plays with people so she plays his game right back thinking it’s all jokes and then she ends up falling in love with him as well

so this is basically nothing to go off? I mean it's a nice idea but it's not really a prompt. but I will absolutely do my best with it!

also, after editing it, I'd just like us all to collectively agree that we'll ignore it ever happening. this might be one of the worst things I've written so far

"Riven", you babbled, taking him by the arm and pulling him from where he'd just tried to walk by. He raised his eyebrows in amusement as you intertwined your fingers and moved your body to the beat of the song playing. "Dance with me!"

He laughed at you, watching as you downed the rest of your drink and threw the cup to the side so that you could wrap your other arm around him as well. "Shit, you're wasted", he observed.

You stuck your tongue out at him. "Rude! I so" - this was where you started hiccuping - "am not!"

"You're way past gone", he teased, pulling his hand from your waist and dragging you after him off of the dance floor.

"Riv!", you giggled, clumsily stumbling after him and almost landing face first on the ground three times. "Where are we going?"

"To my room." You couldn't see his face, you could barely see anything at all, until you had pushed through the crowd and the music was significantly quieter.

The cold air was a welcome change, but Riven barely slowed down.

"Your room?", you asked, now finally able to catch up with him. He shot you a sideways glance and raised his eyebrows.

"Do I look like I know how to get into yours?"

You shrugged, - you wouldn't put anything past him - his hand moving up with yours, suddenly making you very aware of the fact that you were still holding it. You couldn't conceal another giggle.

"You are so drunk", he muttered, making you groan at him and hit him on the shoulder with one hand.

"And you aren't?", you retorted. He grinned.

"Maybe. A bit. But a shit ton less than you."

The doors to the next wing were opening up easily enough and closing soundlessly behind you again. You had stopped hiccuping, which was so pleasant it had you smiling and keeping your mouth shut for almost the entire way up to his room.

"Riv", you started when you just stood in the corridor to his dorm, earning a low grunt from him and nothing more. "You know, I really do like you." His hand tightened around yours, but other than that he showed no sign of hearing you. You didn't mind. "I've been telling you off for the past few months for, well, everything, but- I like you. And I just thought you should know."

"You're drunk", he repeated for the fifth or so time today when you'd finally reached his rooms. He let go of your hand, fumbled out the keys and opened the door as he talked. "You won't remember any of this tomorrow and I probably shouldn't either."

"But that's why I'm telling you!", you insisted as he softly pushed you forward and closed the door behind the two of you again. "I could never tell you ever before because all you ever do is say stupid things like 'Is it hot in here or is that you?' and I never know how to deal with it! Because at first I could just roll my eyes and ignore you, but then I wasn't sure if you meant it or if I wanted you to mean it, and I tried to do it back but I was so confused and now I can't wake up tomorrow knowing I didn't shoot my shot and-"

He brushed a hand through your hair and shushed you with a finger on your lips. Then he grinned. "You're a dumbass", he laughed.

You scoffed. "Excuse me?"

"You're a dumbass", he repeated. "And I would kiss you right now but I won't take advantage of you. So if you can remember this tomorrow when you wake up in my bed, with my arm around your waist, then you've got a shit ton of stuff to deal with."

[lale-txt]

If you've done something similar please ignore this but if not could I get headcanons of my best boys: Marco, Ace, Thatch and Izou reacting to reader surprising them with lingerie? o(*////▽////*)q

You're lovely and I hope you're having a wonderful day!!

🌙 surprising Whitebeard pirates with lingerie

BEE. what a delight your request is. as promised you’re also getting Whitebeard as a present from one dilf fucker connoisseur to another. <3

contains: gn reader (no pronouns used), a bit suggestive given the topic

Marco:

oh this bird, always working, locking himself up in the infirmary for hours… which is why you decide to surprise him with a little treat

a very, very little treat.

you knock at his door, not waiting for an answer before you sneak in, locking the door behind you

Marco looks up, adjusting his glasses and spins around in his chair a little to face you. you were always a welcome distraction and he would always make time for you, no matter how busy he was

“you might want to empty your desk a little, for what i’m about to do.”

he gives you a long stare, probably remembering that one time you swept his whole desk without an advance warning in an attempt to create a spicy scenario, but in the end you two spent hours sorting through his important written notes and other stationary, being too tired and stressed afterwards for the thing you once had in mind

you both learned from your mistake though, which is why he neatly stacks his notes, tapping the empty desk for you to take a seat, a smug little smirk on his lips

with your legs spread you sit down in front of him, pulling your clothes up a few inches to give him a glimpse of what was hidden underneath

”i feel like it’s my birthday, yoi”

you lean down to kiss him as his hands wander up your thighs, his fingers stroking your legs gently, almost painfully slow, his eyes wandering over your whole body, devouring you whole

torn between bending you over his desk and pulling you into his lap in the chair, you end up making out with your legs wrapped around his hips, your clothes either pulled up or already on the floor, revealing every bit of the lace underneath as he lifts you up, carrying you to the next bed…

Ace:

Ace would not be prepared for what you were about to reveal

he is sitting eagerly on the edge of the bed, eyes closed just like you instructed him, channeling all of his little self control not to peak

”you can look now”, you whisper as you straddle him, arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers playing with his dark hair

he would audibly gasp. GASP.

his eyes would be sparkling with excitement as his hands were already wandering all over your body, examining every inch of the fabric (though it wasn’t that much fabric, to be honest)

”it’s even fireproof” “okay, y/n, that happened ONCE and i already apologized for it. plus, things got even more heated after that and i don’t remember you complaining about that…”

he pouted a little, but pulls you closer when you lean in for a big kiss, grinding on his thighs a little, a moan slipping out of your mouth

Ace would tell you in whispered words how hot you looked, how much he adored you, he would take his time to admire you like a masterpiece sprawled out in front of him, his fingers painting a whole new story…

Thatch:

it’s late and you catch him in the kitchen, cleaning up or preparing the breakfast for the next day, probably singing along to one of his favorite songs

his long hair is in a messy half bun, like it usually is at the end of the day (new day, new pompadour)

his face would lighten up when you sneak around the corner, hugging him from behind during whatever he is doing. he will drop anything for you, turning around to take you into his strong arms and kissing your neck gently, greeting you as if he just returned from war and not a 2 hour long kitchen shift

“babe, it’s so late and you’re not in your pyjamas, what’s the occasion?”

he holds you an arm length away from him, mustering you from head to toe, smirking as he opens the upper button of your dress… that dress, the one you wore on your first official date

“well… what do we have here, sugar?”

he would lean with his arms crossed against the kitchen counter, not taking his eyes off you as you slowly unbutton more of your dress, revealing peaks of your new lingerie underneath

would definitely give you a little approving whistle, loosening the yellow silk scarf around his neck as his heat rises the more buttons you undo

be prepared to be bent over the kitchen counter because this man just can’t wait to be back in your shared cabin to unwrap his present <3

Izou:

the commander raises an eyebrow when he sees you in his expensive silk morning robe, something you would usually not dare to touch

though he would be quick to understand what was happening when you let one sleeve slip slightly off your shoulder, revealing peaks of what was underneath

would definitely pull you close to him by your hips, kissing you from your ear down to your neck while he slides off the other sleeve too and loosens the small ribbon in front that holds the robe in its place

“spin around for me, angel. mmh, yes. i like what i see.”

Izou would hold your hand above your head, twisting and turning you into every angle possible, looking you up and down with a little smirk on his painted lips

lifting your chin up with two fingers, he would lean in for an intimate, sweet kiss, enjoying your reaction as you blushed a little, your hungry eyes asking for more already

you’re in for a sweet surprise since this man also loves expensive lingerie, guiding your hands underneath his kimono…

Whitebeard:

the excitement on his face when you close the door of his cabin behind you after you shooed everyone else out of there, ignoring the banging on the door from the other side (“but i wasn’t done yet with my reporting, pops!” “Ace, chill, give those two some privacy yoi”)

laughing this loud, hearty laugh of his that you love so much, he would pull you close, kissing you with an intimacy and softness only lovers could hold for each other

he would sit up in his bed with his back leaned against the bed frame, watching you closely as you slowly undress in front of him, giving him a good show

better prepare a defibrillator because this man is about to have a heart attack… from pure BLISS

once you’re only one thin layer away from revealing your new lingerie to its fullest, he would invite you to sit in his lap where he can get a better view, smiling wide as you take a seat

he would compliment you through the whole thing, telling you how stunning you looked and the things he will do with you in a hot minute…

let me just tell you that the clapping you could hear coming from his cabin wasn’t applause

[hyunverse]

the ingredients for a perfect christmas | inumaki toge

ღ gender neutral.

ღ genre; fluff and slight angst.

ღ summary; inumaki toge tells you all the things he need for a perfect christmas.

ღ note; merry christmas! i wrote this in conjunction of the jjk secret santa on twitter. i hope you'll enjoy this <3

regret? sadness? you don't even know exactly how you feel. are you being reasonable or selfish? even you couldn't tell.

"do you even love me?", you said. inumaki sighed.

"salmon", he nodded. he whipped out his phone, and you caught a glimpse of the polaroid of you he kept in his clear phone case. you remember his reaction when you gave him that polaroid like it was yesterday; how his violet eyes widened and how he let out a small gasp.

you then heard a ding, signalling you that inumaki sent a text. you checked his text from your notification bar.

"i just want to spend this christmas with my friends", the text wrote. you bit the insides of your cheeks so hard you were sure you left a cut.

it's not that you're not trying to be understanding. throughout the relationship you're always listening to inumaki's needs, and you try your best to fulfill them. you more than understand the concept of space, but isn't wanting to spend christmas with his friends instead of you a little too much space? if it's a regular christmas then you'd be fine, but it's supposed to be the first christmas you spend by his side. he's being too selfish at the moment. it's your first christmas together after all.

"how about me?", you asked, voice quivering. your hands were in a fist, the tension in the room too much to ignore.

inumaki toge rolled his eyes and stormed out.

you've felt alone in your life before but never like this. maybe it's true what people say; you'll feel lonely like never before once you lost the person that you love.

it's christmas eve now, you know because of the sound of kids singing jingle bells and how lively and light the night is. your blinds are up so you could see the christmas lights outside from your bed.

usually you'd get up and take pictures of the colorful christmas lights but at that moment you really couldn't be bothered. groaning, you pull your duvet over your body as the smell of your laundry softener greets your nostrils. you bury your head into your duvet even more then turn on the tv. there's a christmas movie playing— your favourite christmas movie. a sigh of relief escapes your lips, at least there's something good happening to you this week.

halfway throughout the movie you hear knocks on your door, shocking your half-asleep self. the person's knocks are constant— as if they don't want to leave you alone. the anger in your body bubbles up even more.

angry, you storm out of the safety of your bedroom to your oak door, grunting when your foot feel the coldness of the floor. you've forgotten how it's christmas now, hence why you're not wearing any socks.

"listen, i don't want to make any do—", you stop on your tracks once you see inumaki standing on your door step. he apologetically smiles and waves, hoping you'll hear him out.

inumaki stands by your door, his hands in mittens and a wool scarf wrapped around his neck. the boy's turtle neck is down, his snake and fangs seals out in the open for you to see. a few cardboards are tucked between his arms and armpit. you stare at the white cardboards wearily.

"kelp", he greets you, offering a cute smile now. inumaki being inumaki knows the ways to make your heart swell.

"what is it?", you ask, your tone as cold as ice. you cross your arms, sending a glare towards his way.

it's what he deserves for being selfish, you think. though you're so close to cupping his cheeks and smothering his face with kisses with the way he's smiling so cutely right now.

starting off with clearing his throat, inumaki takes one cardboard and shows it to you.

"the ingredients for a perfect christmas", are written on the piece of cardboard. there's a few smears on the board, giving away the fact that he messed up a little. you hide your giggle; inumaki's handwriting looks so cute even when it's obvious he tried his best to make them neat.

"okay", you say, hugging your sweater close to your body. you make a mental note to prepare a warm bath after.

ingredient one: snow.

you cock an eyebrow. inumaki bends down, picking up some snow in his hand and throwing it to your feet. you giggle, not being able to hold back anymore. you've been so caught up in your frustration that you didn't notice the snow. calmly, you breathe in the air, smiling softly. the winter air feels comforting despite how cold it is. you look up at the sky, noticing how there are snowflakes falling and stick your tongue out, letting the snowflakes melt on your tongue.

inumaki secretly snaps a photo of you.

ingredient two: christmas cookies.

eyes darting around the words written, you nod in agreement once you've read the black ink. inumaki shows you a bag of baking supplies. you walk up to him and take a peek into the supplies inside.

at one glance you could see cookie cutters, chocolate chips and vanilla essence. you pick up a star shaped cutter and smile.

"these look so cute, toge-chan".

inumaki feels like he could finally breathe. he's glad you don't seem mad at him anymore. living his life while knowing you're upset at him tugs on his heartstrings, really. he could barely sleep.

"salmon".

ingredient three: you.

hopeful, the off-white haired boy stares and waits for a reaction. he watches as your pupils trace the word, over and over again— as if you're checking if you're reading the word right. the word "you" is written on the board, large as ever, screaming at your face.

just like magic, your fiery anger is blown out. christmas really is magical, isn't it?

"thank you", your response is short and simple. inumaki's eyes are still on you, he couldn't read how you feel. the shakiness of your fingers tell him that you're happy, so happy but the flicker in your eyes make toge feel like you're still upset. he takes a deep breath.

you close the distance between you and inumaki— both physically and emotionally by stepping closer towards his warm body and pull him into a bone-crushing hug. inumaki lets go of his breath. he drops the cardboards and the bag of grocery down on the floor to wrap his arms around your body. he rubs soothing circles on your back, you swear you could feel the warmth on his fingertips through your sweater. he sways your bodies to the beat of a christmas song playing. it's quite convenient how your neighbour loves to blast christmas songs.

finally smiling (after days of sulking and complaining to panda), inumaki boops your nose and lets out a giggle. he kisses your nose after, shutting his eyes close when his lips meet your skin.

"i'm not mad anymore", you mutter into his ears. the words he desperately needed. if he was a puppy his ears would perk up by now.

gently, inumaki taps two fingers on your back, his sign for "thank you". when not communicating through onigiri words or text, inumaki would tell you how he feels by the tap of his fingers or the way he nods.

"now come inside and bake cookies", you say. your boyfriend nods and kisses your forehead.

"salmon", he agrees, picking up the bag from the floor.

the whole christmas eve is spent baking colourful christmas cookies while classical. christmas songs play on the background. the sky continues snowing, and you're acting abnormally clingy.

inumaki toge smiles. his three key ingredients for a perfect christmas are in his hands now.

[liibrii]

Kita Shinsuke x gn!Reader

Synopsis: Hitchhiking through the countryside you catch a ride from a handsome stranger, which just might turn out to be the greatest decision of your life – or your greatest mistake.

wc: 2k || thriller-ish, mystery-ish

a/n: heavily inspired by one of my all time favourite songs; The Count of Tuscany. tbh this fic was just an excuse for me to listen to it on repeat for several hours :P as always feedback is greatly appreciated!

In the bathroom of the roadside gas station you change into your best clothes and brush through the tangles in your hair, wash your face, scrub your hands to make sure there's no dirt beneath your nails. No one in their right mind would pick up a scruffy looking hitchhiker.

You decide to stand outside where everyone who drives in to fill their gas tanks will notice you. On a small chalkboard you bought for a few hundred yen in a convenience store you write the name of your destination with the prettiest writing you manage and even add a smiley face. That should do the trick of gaining attention.

You've almost reached your destination already. The western sea of Japan. Being born on the eastern coast you have watched the sun rise above the ocean your entire life. At least once in your life you want to see it sink in the vastness of the sea hugging your homeland.

Would a train or a bus bring you to your destination faster? They would, sadly your wallet disagreed with that option. Hitchhiking really was the best option even if you often waited for hours with no luck. Still it wasn't all bad; one time an elderly lady stoped to give you a lift. You sat in the back as the front sit was occupied by her dog who excitedly turned to sniffle and lick your face, begging for scratches. She made you stay for dinner and even prepared a futon for you to sleep. “All my children and grandchildren moved to the big cities.“ She scratched behind the ears of her dozing four legged companion as you drank tea while sun slowly set behind the hilltops. “Slowly but surely we are bein' left behind. Seein' someone so young come 'round makes these old bones incredibly happy.“

Following morning she wished you good luck on your journey. Her name and address are written in your dairy. When new year comes in a few months you mustn't forget to send her a gift. You watched her stroll away, one slow step after another, dog trailing behind, her back bent under the weight of years. Is that what the future holds for you?

You try to keep a positive outlook, at least you get to see the beauty of the countryside. The green hills and vast fields of rice swaying in the wind are a sight that takes your breath away. Summer's coming to an end. It will soon be harvest season.

Your legs are starting to hurt. Hours have passed and nobody pays you even a second glance. Under the hat your hair sticks to your skin, droplets of sweat trickle down your back. You're all but ready to give up and start looking for a place to stay the night when a man about your age approaches.

He has caught your eye before. Something about his overalls and silvery hair glimmering in the sun made him stand out from the others. He kept glancing over at you while filling his tank.

“I'm not goin' as far as ya want,“ his eyes glance over the chalkboard you're holding. “But if ya want I can give ya a ride to the next town over.“

You eagerly nod. “That would be great!“ You offer him a hand. “You can call me y/n!“

His hand is calloused. Hand of someone working outside. “Kita.“

Ride is comfortable. Kita is more on the quiet side but once you mention how pretty the landscape looks with all the swaying fields he laughs . It's a bright sound that makes your heart skip a beat. He tells you he works the fields, not all you see, but many of them. Talking to him quickly becomes easy. To your surprise you find you have a lot in common. When you arrive to the town and he stops by a small inn offering rooms you're almost reluctant to leave his company. He hesitates when taking your backpack from the back seats. “I know we just met,“ he softly says, “but could I take you out for dinner? Maybe tonight?“

How could you possibly say no? You've been travelling on your own for the past two weeks and the loneliness is starting to get to you. And he's cute.

When he picks you up a few hours later he's wearing a nice button down. He combed his hair though you preferred it when it was all messy. “I'm not late am I?“

“No, I'm just a bit early.“

“Here,“ he shyly averts his eyes when he hands you a small bouquet of spider lilies that have yet to open in full bloom.

Your cheeks flush. It has been a long time since anyone gifted you flowers. “Thank you,“ you say, sincerely.

Kita takes you to a small family owned restaurant down the street. He opens the door for you and pours you tea while you skim through the menu. Talking to him is so easy. He mentions he used to play volleyball back in high school, that many of his old teammates went on to play professionally. Embarrassed you have to tell him you know very little about volleyball. As you speak his eyes linger on your face. Sports have never been your strong suit, you admit.

“Don't feel bad over it,“ he reassuringly smiles. “So how come yer travellin' these parts?“

Your dream of seeing the sunset over the sea seems so simple when you tell him but Kita nods. There's wisdom in his eyes you don't usually see in your peers. Why are you so relieved he doesn't find your dream childish? “I just want to see the country, get to know the land and the history,“ you eagerly continue.

“There's an old castle ruin not far from the town. Tourists often visit it. If ya want I can show ya 'round,“ he offers.

A trip to ruins does sound nice. Even a little bit romantic. One more day staying around couldn't hurt, right?

Kita's smile widens when you agree. “I'll pick ya up tomorrow. Would around midday be alright?“

For the rest of the night you're all giddy on the inside. You can't wait for tomorrow to arrive. Kita walks you back to the inn and waits till you're inside before heading his own way. What a gentleman, you think to yourself. Meeting someone like him was the last thing you expected.

Whatever road lead to the castle in its days of glory has long since been claimed by the nature. Kita walks with steps of someone who has walked this path a thousand times before. You trail behind him, your clothes getting caught in branches all the time. When he sees you struggling he slows down and even offers to carry your small backpack for you.

“This castle used to be really important back in the days,“ he explains while you catch your breath. “It's strategic position is really important. There's a legend my grannie used to tell me. Durin' the Sengoku period the youngest son of a shogun fortified himself in this castle and defended it for months. Then his enemies dug tunnels beneath.“ He offers you a hand to help you climb over a pile of rubble marking what once were the castle walls. “Filled them with wood soaked in fat and set it aflame. Castle crumbled and buried hundreds of soldiers beneath it. Some say the son of the shogun still haunts this place.“

“An interesting story,“ you say, ignoring how every hair on your body stands up.

By the time you reach the ruins you're drenched in sweat and yet once the view of the valley beneath opens up you forget all about the fatigue. You step closer to the ledge and peek over it. The side of the hill plunges straight down. Deep below you see tree tops. If you slipped -

A hand grabs your shoulder. “Careful. The stones 'round here often crumble.“

You murmur an apology. Kita's hand lingers on yours, his eyes following when you walk away to have a closer look at the ruins. They're covered with grass and small trees sprouting from the crack between stones. Funny, you can't see any tables with information about this place. Having a map would surely help with orientation. You can't be the only tourist with a knack of getting lost.

Kita approaches you with a smile. “Wanna see somethin' really cool?“

You follow him inside the ruins. “Watch yer step,“ he holds the branches of a lonely tree so they don't smack you as you walk by, “it's easy to trip 'round here.“

Walls here are better preserved, higher. The shadows they cast seem longer. You follow Kita inside the labyrinth of crumbled stone. An uneasy feeling of being watched grows inside you as your approach scares off a flock of birds.

Kita pushes away a curtain of poison ivy to reveal a gaping hole where the walls lean on the cliff towering above. Cold gust of wind makes you shudder. “Here,“ Kita offers you a torchlight. Your hands are cold. Fingers barely capable of wrapping around the black plastic.

He turns to you, his eyes carefully examining your face before he enters. “Ya comin'? Be careful where ya step, the stairs are slippery.“ He offers you his hand. It's warm.

“There's a natural cave beneath the castle.“ His calm voice echoes through the winding staircase. “Apparently it used to have a small pool for the nobles to cool in durin' summer. It's filled with rubble now.“

Light of the torches casts eerie shadows on the walls. Stone surface under your fingers is cold and damp. You follow Kita through a narrow hallway and soon enough you reach a small cave. It probably used to be bigger but a part of the ceiling caved in.

Rubble crunches under the soles of your shoes. In the eerie silence all you hear is your breathing and unsteady thumping in your chest. Somewhere in the distance perhaps a ghost of a long deceased soldier- you curse yourself in your head. Why are you trying to scare yourself?

You look up to see stalactites growing from the ceiling. How many thousands of years old must they be?

“They only grow about a millimetre per year. Must be tens of thousands of years old.“ Kita's voice makes you jump. How did he know exactly what you were thinking?

Only now you notice he's standing between you and the exit to the hallway. His eyes are fixed on you. He's closing off the only exit. Pounding in your chest quickens. This place is starting to suffocate you. 

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

You really did follow a complete stranger into a cave beneath an abandoned castle. What an idiot. Naive, trusting idiot.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

Slowly, like water dripping from the ceiling it sinks in you may not make it out of here.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

Ah, don't be stupid! You still have years to live! A boring office job to take on! When was the last time you spoke to your friends?

Kita's eyes never leave yours as he steps closer. In the dim light it all seems so- Kita wouldn't- But you don't know him, do you? Torch rolls from your shaking fingers.

Is this really how it ends? Hidden from the sunlight, caught like a mouse in a trap of stone and cold cutting to your bones? You can't breathe. Will they ever find you? Tears well up in your eyes. Why? What have you done to deserve this?

You're shaking. Will you ever see the sunset over the vastness of the sea? Will you lay beside the unfortunate soldiers from centuries ago till you become only clean, nameless bones?

A shaky plea for your life is all you manage to stammer. Through the tears his face is just muddled colours. Is this really how you die?

Warm touch of his hands cupping your face, thumbs wiping away tears, his soft, gentle voice, paralyse you. “Hey, why are ya cryin'?“

[summerofsnowflakes]

Every time (Rafael Casal x Reader)

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: Angst, Sexual themes, Heartbreak, Alcohol, Drug Use and Addiction. Wow I really went the full nine yards with this one.... 

This is the first time I have written for Rafa so I hope I did him justice. This is kind of based on Every time by Ariana Grande, I adore the song and kind of felt inspired so I ran with the story.  I really hope it is enjoyed. 

Tags: @braidedchallah as you asked so nicely! Here’s your tag! Enjoy :) 

She awoke up in a groggy haze, blinking a few times so her eyes could focus in the dark room. Her head was throbbing, her hangover from the night before had already arrived and she was aware of the faint snoring coming from the other side of the bed. She didn't need to look to know it was Rafael, she also didn't need to check the under the sheets she was tangled in to know she was naked. The vivid memories of last night flooded Y/n's mind as she laid there. It had started with just texts and then the calls started that pulled each other away from their friends, that led to needing to see one another which always leads to sex. Now here she was, lying in his bed regretting everything as she had so many time before.

This is how almost every night out had ended for the two exes, they resumed this new kind of relationship after their very messy breakup six months ago. As Y/n laid there, calmed by the soft snores she thought back over their relationship. It had been great to begin with, they were made for one another and they feel hard and fast. From the start everything was fueled by raw emotion, Y/n let him see every part of her and he returned this by doing the same. She knew when they got together his mental health wasn't great, but she did all she could to be the sunshine on his dark days. Rafa developed a habit and before Y/n could catch him from falling it became serious. His drinking and drug use only got worse, she couldn't remember a time when he was sober in the last few months they had together. She was hurting so badly and she tried her best to keep a handle on the situation and their relationship, but he had only seen that as her trying to control him. They both reached their breaking point and ended everything in flurry of tears.

She wept silently at the memories, it was all too much to bear for her. She had to get out now, but as she stood up to get her clothes  the alcohol that was still in her system rushed to her head and she tripped over her heels. The noise she made startled Rafa awake and she felt her heart sink. This was not apart of their usual routine, usually the person who stayed over slipped out silently to avoid the sober conversations and the reminder of what could have been. Rafa spoke first, "Hey".

"Uhhh hi, sorry I wasn't trying to wake you." She spoke softly and resumed getting dressed. More successfully this time around.

"Are you okay?" His voice strained as he asked.

Y/n paused in place with her back turned to him. "Bit of a loaded question Rafa." She knew he was asking about the fall but he mind was still stuck thinking about their relationship and she couldn't help the sarcasm in her retort. She hadn't seen the way his demeanour dropped in defeat as the words came out, it cut him deep. She didn't turn to look at him again, she couldn't trust herself not to climb back into bed with him and play happy families. She took a deep breath and spoke again,  "I'll see you soon."

Y/n walked out before he could utter another word. She didn't hear him say "I love you" as she left.

Her second attempt to sneak about that morning failed as she tried to creep into her flat without rousing her flat mates. Everyone knew how volatile Y/n and Rafa had become for one another and for the most part she tried to avoid the topic with her friends. Unfortunately for Y/n they were both in the kitchen drinking their morning coffee and discussing the previous night. She saw the disappointment in their eyes as they bore into hers and she had no explanation for them. She knew they only cared and had her best interest at heart, they had tried to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart, but she wouldn't allow them to. She had excluded herself from all things that normal life had to offer. The only thing she had done for months was sit alone in her room or go out and get drunk. As she stood there in silence and seeing their faces, she had no words and all she could only  stare blankly back at them while they spoke.

Emily spoke first, "Hun, you need to talk to us."

Anita jumped in straight after. "Yeah, we're so worried about you. You don't sleep, you barely eat, you've lost so much weight recently and the only thing you're interested in is going out and drinking."

"I'm convinced you only go out because you know you'll see him Y/n." Em continued.

Y/n felt a lump in her throat, they had it exactly right. "You just wouldn't understand." She whispered in attempt to deflect.

"Then help us understand, we don't want to see you like this anymore."

How could she make them understand? Rafa was the great love of her life, they were so deeply connected. They had shared so much pain together, pain that was still holding them both in place. Maybe this is why she avoided the topic with them. She knew they would get through to her and she wasn't ready to accept it was over just yet. She bowed her head to hide her face and said "I'm just not myself when I am not with him. It's like I lose a bit more of myself every day that we're apart. No matter what I do, I go back every time because for a small amount of time I feel like the old me." She was crying hard now and her eyes were screwed shut. She was shocked by the two sets of arms embracing her as she let it out and they stood there for the longest time allowing her to calm down.

Em grabbed her face so their eyes were in line "I know it's hard Y/n, but you are so much more than your relationship. You had a life before him and you will have one after him." Y/n nodded her head in response and Anita still held on to her lovingly from behind.

For the first time in months she felt as though she could breath on her own and she had to thank her friends for being so amazing. She allowed herself to integrate back in with the girls and they spent the rest of the day cuddled up on the sofa together under a duvet, watching trashy films and eating junk food. That night when the texts started up Y/n blocked his number, it hurt and it was hard but she knew she needed this.

This was the first step to moving on and starting her life afresh, without Rafa.

That sentiment lasted all of two weeks. For fourteen whole days Y/n detoxed herself, she ate three full meals a day, she only drank water and tea. She didn't touch a drop of alcohol to avoid impairing her judgement and calling him and had even missed out two nights out with the girls. If she kept herself busy enough she was almost convinced that she didn't even miss him. She did everything she could think of to avoid thinking about him. She tried to avoid picking up her phone, worried that she would 'accidentally' unblock him.

There was an awkward feeling in her flat that very Saturday two weeks later. Daveed's birthday party was tonight, none of the girls could avoid it. They had all been in the same friendship group once and none of them were about to let him down. Y/n tried so hard not to worry. Unfortunately the anxiety was determined to win and her heart was beating out it's chest uncontrollably. She took a deep breath in allowing it to wash over her, very aware that the longer she fought it the worse it would get.

Quietly she whispered to herself, "You'll be fine, you're going to have a good night." She repeated this to herself again and again throughout the whole getting ready process, until she was finished. She stared at herself and feeling good because she knew she had a killer outfit on and her make-up looked flawless. "I'll be okay."  Y/n had been so nervous that she had already started drinking way before the party. It was the only way she could calm her nerves. Two weeks it had been since she had seen him or let him dominate her thoughts. Tonight he would be unavoidable.

It seemed everyone else had the same idea to turn up a little tipsy or high. When Daveed came over to greet the girls Y/n could smell the alcohol and weed on him. There was no denying it. Rafael wasn't far behind him, red eyed and body swaying, he smiled at her not really noticing Emily or Anita as he walked over. Y/n returned his smile but turned her back on him and walked to the kitchen to fix herself a drink while the girls spoke to Daveed about his birthday. As she poured out her wine into the biggest wine glass she could find, she hadn't noticed that Rafa had followed her into the kitchen.

"Now that is a big glass of wine." His voice startled her as she was lost in her own thoughts momentarily.

"It's been a long week."

"You're telling me, it's been a long two weeks, my dream girl's been ignoring me, she even blocked my number." He said hanging his head dramatically.

"Maybe she had good intentions for both of you." She reasoned and now looking at him she realised how much she had missed him.

"You're probably right, do you think she'll ignore me the whole night though?" He inquired with a bit of hope.

Y/n thought momentarily, still unsure and fighting her tipsy brain to answer logically. She knew she be avoiding him but as he stood across from her, looking so good she knew that she's already lost the battle. "I think you might be lucky tonight."

He laughed, his beautiful laugh, it engulfed her brain and he closed the gap between them, clasping his arms around her. Her nose was met with the smell of weed and the sober part of her sighed sadly as the drunk Y/n took over completely. She knew in the back of her mind that she would be regretting him in the morning.

All the hard work she had done to move forward came undone in seconds and it was completely forgotten. She ignored the looks her friends gave her as they made their way out of the kitchen together and set up camp together on a sofa away from everyone else in the party. They were in their own little world as they caught up, both in very good spirits and not noticing that they were being watched subtly by all their friends, who were all stunned by the sight. They looked like a couple again as if nothing bad had ever happened. The party through itself into full swing, drinking, drugs, dancing and games and for a little while Y/n and Rafa stayed on the sofa ignoring the party go by, Y/n sat on his lap and traced circles on her bare leg.

"Rafa, you down for beer pong, my man?"  Daveed shouted over the crowd, breaking their conversation. Rafa saw Diggs holding a cup and ping pong ball and looked back to Y/n silently asking if she wanted to play too. She nodded and followed him over to the make-shift set up.

"Sorry Y/n, I need my partner in crime back for this game, we an unbeatable team you know." Daveed patted her sympathetically.

"Oh yeah so unbeatable, which is why every time I play against you, you lose." Y/n retorted. She looked around for the girls, Emily was too busy chatting up a very attractive lady, but Anita was free and by her side instantly to be on her team.

Rafa jumped in this time. "Funny, I remember someone crying and throwing a tantrum the last time we played because she lost."

"That's the only time I've lost against you both and I only got pissed off because you said, and I quote 'it's just a game'."

They were both in stiches laughing at her as she got worked up over the memory of losing. Y/n really was a sore loser.. "Fuck you both, just start the game."

The game started off very friendly with the boys taking the lead early on, but the girls easily caught then up. Now it was down to the wire, both teams had one cup left each and the energy around the table was tense. No one spoke as Y/n lined herself up as best as she could now that her head was foggy from the alcohol and she felt herself sway slightly. She took the shot as best as she could but managed to land in the last cup. From beside her Anita jumped and squealed. "You did it Y/n, we won!" Y/n turned and jumped around with her. She momentarily turned back to Daveed and Rafa who looked very pissed off and stuck her middle finger up at them both, laughing a little too evilly.

"I forgot she's just as much of a sore winner as she is when she loses." Daveed said quietly and they walked over to the girls on the other side of the table.

"I didn't." Rafa replied and laughed quietly to himself. Despite losing, he felt a little sense of pride over watching Y/n win. He slung his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into him again.  "Well done baby." He whispered in her ear and once again they slipped back into their own world away from the party.

"Maybe you should consider a new partner in crime for party games. It's clearly not working out for you." She said teasingly.

"You might be right about that."

Unsurprisingly, Y/n found herself back in Rafa's bed that night. The happiness from the party quickly turned into a hungry neediness for one another. Y/n was easily wrapped in Rafa's arms early into the morning, tangled once again in the sheets with her lace underwear discarded on the floor. As they lay there in the post-sex bliss, Y/n softly traced her fingers along his tattoo's, dipping in and out of sleep while rafa sang quietly to her.

"Y/n are you still awake?" He asked, grogginess evident in his voice.

"Just about."

"We always end up coming back to each other, don't we?"

"Every time."

Neither of them uttered another word, nothing more needed to be said.

That was the last time the spoke to each other or saw each other for six months. Something changed for Y/n and Rafa after that night, for Y/n it felt like closure. He remained blocked on her phone and she thought that was for the best. She really had felt like she was moving on, she had been on a few dates, even had a few dick appointments; although, none were as good as him. She told herself it was the best way to move forward, she had been too static for such a long time.

As she sat in front of her full length mirror doing her make-up for a girls night out, a very long overdue night out.

Anita popped her head into Y/n's room. "You ready?"

Y/n smiled, "yeah, let's go."

The three best friends welcomed the others girls in their friendship group around for drinks before they went out and they all shared their intentions for the night. Drinking and laughing, Y/n felt at ease and when it came to her turn she laughed. "To go home alone." She said and they all cheered in response. In this moment Y/n felt the best she had for such a long time.

The girls danced the night away in small and sweaty club, the music vibrating through them and the drinks flowing heavily. At exactly 1AM in a grubby club toilet and all alone for the first time in the night, Y/n made the decision to unblock Rafael's number. She didn't tell anyone she was going to do it but it was at exactly 1AM that she peaked and in her drunken state she wanted to talk to him. She reasoned with herself that it had been long enough and it would be just old friends catching up now, if he answered. She sent him a quick text to see if he was up and within a matter of seconds her phone vibrated in her hand, his name and photo flash up on her screen. Her breath caught in her throat and  she picked up but didn't say anything allowing him to speak first.

"Y/n. Are you okay?" She thought she could hear it straight away, the almost too relaxed tone to voice and just assumed he was high like he always was. She had always just wanted to fix him. "Y/n?"

She let a shaky breath. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Are you out?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah I'm at Leadmill with the girls."

"Really? I'm in the smoking area, why don't you come and say hi."

"Are you alone?" Y/n inquired, she wasn't in the mood for loads of people right now.

"I'm with Digg's but I'm sure he'll be happy to see you, he's quite faded." He laughed slowly obviously looking at Daveed as he said this.

"I'll be out in a second."

Y/n made her way out of the bathroom very aware of the dirty looks she was receiving as she left for taking so long in the cubicle. She tried to see the girls as she made her way over to the smoking area hoping she wouldn't be caught. She found the two best friends tucked away in the corner,  away from the bigger groups of people. Rafael had found her before she saw them, his eyes lit up at the sight of her, and what a sight is was to see her in thigh high boots and t-shirt dress that was so short it left little to his imagination. Y/n smiled timidly, she could see from his facial expression that he was thinking about ripping her clothes off. She knew that look all too well. He lent against the wall and pulled her into him and holding her close. The feeling of his strong arms made her feel so safe and the smell of her favourite cologne on him had her weak at the knees. She was really surprised that she couldn't smell the all too familiar scent of weed on him.

"Hey you." She spoke softly in his ear.

"Hi." He tightened his arms around her, "it's been a minute, I've missed you."

She smiles to herself, at least the feeling was mutual. She pulled back and turned. "Hey Diggs."

He only nodded at her in response, his eyes closed.  

"He's a man of few words tonight, he wanted to get white girl wasted, and I think he's achieved that." Rafael spoke with pride about his best friend and Y/n laughed in response. He grabbed her hand to turn her back to him pulling her close to him with that same primal look in his eyes. "You look absolutely fantastic tonight Y/n. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you."

"Shut up." Y/n felt her cheeks heat up and she tried to be coy, even though she felt really good about her look tonight. She moved even closer to him, and put one of his legs in between hers which made her dress ride up slightly. Rafael seemed to catch this and looked down, Y/n following where his eyes went. It was as if no time had passed at all and they slipped back into their groove. She heard the gulp he made as he continued to talk. "No really baby, it should illegal for you to wear that around me, the things I want to do to you..." He trailed off lost in thought but brushed his hand up her leg slowly, teasingly and it sent a shiver down Y/n's back.

Y/n's liquid courage took over. "You want to come back to mine."

He smiled at her, "best offer I've had in months."

From an outside perspective, they just looked like a regular couple. However from the perspective of her friends who were only a stone's throw away from the two, watching the scene play out they couldn't help but feel disappointed. They really thought Y/n had been doing better and they wanted to interfere, stop her from relapsing again, but they knew when she was this drunk it would only cause an argument and push her further into his arms. They watched as they touched each other and smiled like teenagers. They watched as Rafael got Daveed up and mobile enough to go back inside to their friends. He left Y/n for all of thirty seconds and they witnessed as the two stumbled passed them completely engrossed in one another. Just like they disappeared, just as they had so many times before, many moths ago.

They were hungry for one another, this had been longest they had gone without any contact since they had met. Rafa was on top of Y/n within seconds of entering her room. He attacked her body with his mouth, kissing everywhere that wasn't covered by her clothes. Y/n's head was fuzzy with pleasure feeling as though this had been the missing piece in her life. Rafa lifted his head from her neck to meet her lips again.

"I love you." He whispered in between kisses.

"I love you too." She returned in a breathless tone, without any hesitation.

He sat up and pulled her with him, removing his rather tight shirt off and giving Y/n a chance to drink him with her eyes as she caught her breath. He gave her a devilish grin as he pulled her to him. "Take everything except those boots off for me please baby." He spoke in a low tone. Y/n did as he asked and everything he asked of her that night. This night could be added to the countless others that started and ended the same way. Something about this time though, something felt different. Maybe it was the space and the not talking but they seemed to want each other even more than they had before.

When Y/n woke up the next morning he was still there, awake and sober playing with her hair while scrolling on his phone, just like it was a regular Sunday morning. Like they had never broken up. Y/n didn't feel the heavy pang of regret and stupidity and enjoyed Rafa being  there. She leant up to him and gave him a soft and loving kiss, which surprised him. He hadn't realised she was awake and he certainly wasn't expecting such a warm welcome to him still being there.

"Morning." He said, sleep still clear in his voice. "Do you want me to leave?"

Y/n shook her head and pulled him down so she could hug him, he happily held her in his arms. Y/n seemed to have a sudden realisation in that moment as she took in his scent again. "Were you sober last night?" She asked in total shock.

Rafa hid his face in the crook of her neck and nodded. "Uhh… yeah I have been sober for six months now."

"Really? Rafa that's amazing. I'm so happy for you." Y/n spoke with total sincerity and no one spoke for a long time. Y/n was very aware that six months ago they had slept together for the last time and her mind began racing.

"Y/n." He broke her out of her thought.

"Hmm."

"Look there's something I want to say. I don't really know what I am expecting but can I just… speak for a bit."

"Of course."

Rafa took a deep breath in. "Okay, first of all I need to follow my steps and I need to apologise to you for everything I put you through as a result of my addiction. You really tried to do everything to keep me above water and I hurt you, over and over. The last night that we slept together I realised how much damage I had caused and I knew I had to stop sleeping with you so that we could both mend ourselves. I could see last night how much you have changed and grown, you looked even more amazing. I did everything I could to fix myself, I cut all the drink and drugs out, I cut out all the bad in my life. All those guys you always said were bad news, I even went to therapy to get a handle on my mental health." He spoke so quickly that Y/n had a hard time keeping up but he finally took  a breath and continued. "I did this because I wanted to make myself a better man so that if we ever got the opportunity and if you ever wanted to speak to me again I would be in a place to value you for how amazing you really are. I don't know if you want us still but I definitely do and when you said you loved me back last night I felt like I had a little hope to hold on to."

Y/n sat in silence for a couple of minutes so stunned by his words. He stared at her, worried he had ruined the good mood until she looked back at him with a smile on her face that made his heart falter. She threw herself into him and he caught her, engulfing her in his arms.

She broke their silence. "We always come back to each other right?"

He smiled at her, the memory of that night came flooding back to him. "Every time."

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

The Strongest Avenger

Carol x fem!reader, avengers x reader (platonic)

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: so many oh boy. Attempted angst, fluff, insecurity, broken bones, injections + needles, so much gore, organ removal, vomit. If you're sensitive to any gore then please don't read it, I'm sorry oof

A/n: I've never written anything like this before, so feedback is always welcome. Tamika, if you're reading this, I am going to marry Carol Danvers one day. Try and stop me, I dare you. - Aphrodite

"Your turn, Nat!"

You, Carol, Natasha, Wanda and Peter all sat on the floor of your bedroom. Carol had a week free, so she decided to spend that week back on earth with her best friends; she was completing a 6 month long mission and it had been exactly 123 days since you saw her last. Yes, you were counting. Whenever she returns from a mission, you host a girls night (eith the exception of Peter, of course. He looked up to you all so much, you couldn't just not invite him), and tonight you had decided to play a game of 21 dares. It's practically the exact same as 21 questions, but with dares instead. After all, you were avengers, and none of you were scared of a bit of danger.

"Alright, alright." Nat looked deep in thought before her eyes lit up, thinking of the best dare. "Carol. I dare you to make out with the prettiest person in the room." Peter gasped, making everyone laugh, and you met Carol's eyes. She raised and eyebrow, to which you gave a small nod; next thing you knew, she had scooted over to sit next to you, and casually put her lips on yours. You didn't think too much of it; you and Carol were closer than any of the other avengers were, and she probably felt more comfortable kissing you than anyone else. The fact that she had chosen you as the prettiest never even crossed your mind.

You'd had a crush on Carol since the first time you saw her. It was about two years ago; she was moving into the avengers tower, and you had to give her the tour. Her sandy blonde hair fell casually onto her shoulders, and she wore black jeans with a white jumper. You had offered to carry her bags, but that was a mistake - being roughly half a foot shorter and only having 3% of the strength that she has was the fatal flaw. Over those two years, you and Carol grew to be best friends, and your feelings for her slowly faded. What was once a raging fire of passion had fizzled down into a small candle flame, but it shone bright with hope nonetheless. She hadn't changed since you first met her, yet she now sported short hair, rather than her longer curls.

Oh, and now you were kissing her.

Her lips were soft, contradictory to yours which were chapped and rough. You were so focused on her that you didn't hear Wanda trying to get your attention. Carol snaked a hand up to your neck and opened her mouth slightly more, yet you could still feel her smiling into your mouth. Before you could put a hand on her waist, you felt someone flicking your face. Laughing as you pulled away from her, Carol sat back where she originally was, and gave you a wink. Wanda was now knelt next to you, and it became apparent that she was the one who had flicked you.

"Any longer and we would've had to cover Peter's eyes!" Her accent came out thick between a giggle, and you felt a familiar burning in your cheeks.

☆☆☆☆☆

You rolled over in your bed to look at the time; 1:38 am. The game of 21 dares didn't last much longer after your kiss, and you all crashed on your bed. It was the climax of summer, so you wore only underwear and a tank top while you slept. Being sure not to wake anybody up, you climbed off of the bed, internally thanking your past self for choosing to lay on the side closest to the door. Grabbing a pair of pyjama shorts to slip on, you studied everyone's expressions to make sure they were all still asleep, and your eyes lingered on Carol's face for a bit too long. Peter wasn't there, he must've woken up earlier and gone back to his bedroom, you thought. Sighing, you walked out of the door. Even out in the hallway it was blisteringly warm, so you headed to the kitchen to get a bottle of water.

The song Dancing Queen by ABBA has been stuck in your head for weeks, so you quietly sang it to yourself on your way to the living area. Once you got to the kitchen you closed your eyes, still singing, and began dancing in the space that you had. Minutes must have passed before you opened your eyes and saw Steve sat at the dining table. He didn't say anything, but instead took a long sip of the coffee he had. Without even flinching at his sudden appearance, you got your bottle of water, and walked out. As you passed him on the way, you leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"This never happened."

Instead of going back to your room, you headed straight towards the elevator, and made your way to the roof. Stepping out into the warm breeze, you walked closer to the balcony. You noted the clarity of the stars above you yet you saw the sun poking out from above the city skyline, and took a deep breath of the early morning air. Disturbing you from tranquility, the sound of the door behind you opening awoke you from your daze.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite earth human."

You turned and saw Carol stood in the doorway, holding two mugs of cocoa.

"Good morning, space alien. What're you doing up?" She walked over to you and handed you one of the mugs. No whipped cream and extra marshmallows, just how you like it. She knew you so well.

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

Before you answered, you took in her appearance. Her short hair was messy as a result of her slumber, and she rocked a matching set of baby pink pyjamas.

"I guess I could say the same. I've had too much on my mind lately." You took a large gulp of your drink, ignoring the fact that its heat felt like molten lava was being poured down your throat. She hummed in response, looking out to the horizon. She turned to you with a frown, sighed, and then asked you a question. "What do you want to do in the future?" The question took you aback, but you knew what you wanted out of life, and you were comfortable telling her. As you thought of your future, you saw a wedding, maybe children, and a steady career.

"Well, once more heroes rise from the future ashes of the avengers, I want to settle down. Helping the earth, and the universe, is everything to me, so I want to work for as long as I can. It would be brilliant to meet somebody soon..." you took a breath, "and possibly fall in love. I don't know about kids, but having somebody to share my life with means the world to me. What about you?"

She was looking at you with such admiration, and you met her gaze. She smiled and turned back to the view, thinking hard. "I think I want to stay on earth." She put it more bluntly than you've ever heard her speak, and you were surprised with the answer.

"Seriously? You literally have super powers, have travelled to so many galaxies, fought the universes biggest threats, and are practically immortal. And at the end of the day, you really want to stay on this junk yard of a planet?"

She faked an offended look and punched you on the arm. "I have more friends of this junk yard of a planet than I do in the entire galaxy. And it's not every day that you get to spend the rest of your life with a group of misfits like us who only care about protecting people. After things have settled down in this realm, I want to stay here to protect my family." You smiled as she turned her head towards you. "And besides, this junk yard of a planet has a very amazing person on it who I'd never be able to get rid of, no matter where I decide to settle down."

You both laughed, and you finished your cocoa. "I'm going back to bed, I promised Natasha that I'd train with her tomorrow and God knows that I need the energy." You smiled and turned to walk away before she grabbed your wrist. Neither of you said anything, but words weren't needed. She pulled you into a hug in which you happily returned, and she gave you a small kiss on the forehead. You stayed like this for a while before you found your eyelids growing heavy. She let you leave for real, this time, and you fell asleep thinking about her.

☆☆☆☆☆

Two days later, you were sat in the conference room with all of the other avengers. Carol sat across the table from you, and you'd love to just stare at her for the entire meeting, but this was important. Somebody in New York had been committing a series of crimes. At first, it was small stuff like shoplifting or stealing somebody's bag on the street. But the longer they were left unnoticed, the bigger their crimes got. Yesterday, you had recieved information that five people were murdered in an attack in the Wall Street building. The criminal went by the name of Neeko, and he always left a note at the scene of the crime. All but one were addressed to the avengers - the note left at Wall Street was addressed to you, and you only. It soon became clear why; you knew all five people killed. One was a former colleague, another was a childhood friend, two of them went to college with you, and the last was your ex-boyfriend. Of course, you were distraught over all of these people being killed, but your determination to catch the killer overpowered your sadness. Steve was

leading the meeting, creating a plan as you went, and you perked up when you heard your name.

"In his last note, Neeko said that if y/n doesn't meet him in the warehouse on 42nd street tonight at 8pm, he'll be attacking one of the schools within the week." Steve looked directly at you. "There's no way that we can find out what school he could be targeting, so we're going to have to use you as bate?"

You nodded, feeling secure. Your family would never let anything bad happen to you, especially not in the hands of a serial killer.

"Now, I don't want to seem condescending, but are you sure you can do this, y/n?" The question came from Sam, who was sat at the opposite end of the table. You glared at him, confused as to what he was talking about.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked calmly, but with a hint of annoyance. They did this to you a lot; you were one of the younger in the group, and you were probably one of the weakest. They'd usually never put you in the centre of a mission, but it was a necessity this time around.

"I'm sure what Sam meant was that five people who are close to your heart have just been murdered." Steve sat in the empty chair next to you. "Are you sure you're stable enough to be put directly into the hands of the person who killed them?"

The wat he phrased it made you furious; they always doubt your abilities, and in this time where protecting your loved ones is more important than ever, they were hesitant to trust you. As soon as he asked you this, you stood up from your chair and stared directly at him.

"Stable? You're asking me if I'm 'stable' enough to be trusted?" You looked around at everybody else. Natasha ducked her head down, Bucky casually shielded his eyes with his hand, Tony gave you a sympathetic look; they all agreed with Steve.

You looked at Carol who gave you a small nod of approval, as if to say 'I wouldn't blame you if you burned down the entire avengers tower just from that remark.' Grabbing your jacket from the back of your chair, you walked out of the conference room. You heard Rhodey calling your name, but you weren't going to go back in there and be treated like a child. You and Carol had arranged to get brunch at 10:30, which was in an hour; you didn't know where you were going, but you were leaving the avengers tower. You needed a break.

Sitting down in a small red booth, you closed your eyes and rubbed your forehead. You went for a walk around the city before going to the diner, and once you were there, you were still far to annoyed to even think about eating. 60s music quietly rumbled from speakers on the walls and the smell of waffles and burgers clouded your thoughts.

"Y/n, are you okay?" You looked up and saw Carol who had just come from the tower. She sat down in the booth and placed her hand on top of yours, stroking the back of yours with her thumb. You sighed before giving her a weak smile.

"They don't think I can do it." You saw her nod, knowing exactly what you were thinking.

"It's not that they don't think you can do it, y/n. They know your abilities and how good you are under pressure, but a few of your friends have just died. They're worried that you might get a bit carried away, or worse."

Before you could reply, Carol got the attention of one of the waitresses and ordered a strawberry and cream waffle for you, and a root beer float for herself. You've both been to this diner so many times together that you each know exactly what you like. As soon as Carol turned back around, you started talking.

"That's the point. They're worried that I can't do my job, when we do this all the time. Every single one of us has been in a situation similar to this; where we've lost someone close to us and have to ignore how we feel, and continue to protect the world. Nobody would dare question Steve or Tony's judgement if they were in my position, so I don't see why they feel the need to question mine."

Carol looked surprised at everything you had just said, and it was clear that she didn't know how to reply. Before she could think of anything to say, you scooted closer to her and wrapped her in a hug. You breathed in the sweet smell of her vanilla perfume and the fresh cotton scent of her tee shirt. She rubbed your back, and you pulled away.

"I have to do this. Not just for myself, or the school kids, or my friends that were killed, but for them. I'm going to smash this mission so hard that they'll never dare question my abilities again." You were both smiling, and Carol gave you a high five.

"That's my girl!"

☆☆☆☆☆

It was nearing 8pm. You, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Natasha and Carol stood outside of the warehouse on 42nd; bringing all of the avengers would seem suspicious, so Steve chose just the right amount of people to protect you and catch Neeko. They were all suited up, except for you. You weren't dressed in your dark purple latex suit, but the skirt and jumper combo that you had worn earlier in the diner. It was your idea; showing up in your suit would alert Neeko and his companions, and make them think that you were planning an attack. Wearing normal clothes would make it seem like you weren't planning anything. When you told Steve, he was impressed that you had come up with the idea, and happily approved. However, you were slightly regretting it now. Being without the suit that Tony had made for you and knowing that you could, possibly, be walking into your place of death gave you a wave of fear, but you brushed it off. You had to prove to the rest of the group that you were more than what they think, or at least you'll die trying.

All of the avengers wore black watches, but when closely inspected, were actually tracking devices. They each had a tiny button on the side that when pressed, would alert every other device of where you were. The button was only to be pressed when you knew you'd be in a certain place for a while, and/or you were in a lot of danger. The button was really only meant to be pressed by you, so the rest of the group knew when to come and get you and where you were. But if another avenger was in trouble and needed backup, they could use it too.

Steve started going over the plan. "As soon as y/n gives us the alert, we head inside. Carol and I will go in from the front and find her, Bucky and Nat will go in from the back to see if there are any hostages or prisoners there, and Tony will fly above the roof and use his scanners to find out how many people inside are working for Neeko."

He gave you a clap on the back. "Are you ready, y/n?" You looked up at him, took a deep breath, and nodded. You were more ready than you'd ever be. You checked the phone in the back of your pocket, which read 7:58pm, it was almost time. Everyone watched as you grabbed Carol's hand, interlaced your fingers, gave it a weak squeeze, and walked straight through the main doors of the warehouse.

Everything smelt damp, and the faint scent of machine oil lingered in the huge hall. You looked around, not seeing a single sign of life in the entire room. You calmly strolled through the warehouse, being sure to stay in the main hall and not get lost in any other rooms.

"Hello? Hellooooo!? Anybody home?" You called into the darkness, hoping somebody would walk out any second. You were about to turn around and make your way back out through the doors before somebody threw a sack over your head. You shouted at whoever was behind you, kicking your legs out in an attempt to knock them over. This failed, and you only aggravated your captor more. They grabbed your shoulders to hold you still, and another pair of hands appeared to tie your wrists together in front of you. The same person who tied your hands also did the same to your ankles, and you felt the familiar pain of rope burn against your wrists and ankles. You continued to shout and scream for help, but the two people who had tied you up had picked you up and carried you away.

When the sack was removed from your head, you were tied to a chair with thick black rope. You looked down at your wrists, and blood dripped down your forearms. Just by looking at your surroundings, you knew you were probably inappropriate storage room; you tried, but failed to reach the button of your tracking device, letting out an angry sigh. The only thing lighting up the room was an old lightbulb above your head, but you could still see what was on the floor surrounding you: bodies. People who you didn't recognize, their organs pooling out of their lacerated stomachs. Their eyes had been gouged out of their faces, and a thick, brown liquid dripped from their mouths. You screamed, not out of fear, but of anger. You shouted until your voice became hoarse and your eyes watered.

Not long afterwards, you heard the locks on the doors being undone. You sat up, preparing for some sort of mob boss to walk in with a set of weapons. Instead, a tall man wearing an apron walked in. He wore a shirt and jeans, a pair of black glasses resting on the bridge of his nose; you would've thought he was a normal person if it wasn't for the heavily blood stained apron he wore. What disgusted you the most was that he looked no older than Tony did. Following him was one of his companions, short and stocky, carrying a sizeable wooden box. Along with them, they brought the scent of blood and rotting bodies.

"It's nice to meet you, y/n." His voice was low and fitting to what you would expect a serial killers voice to be like; thick, eerie, and leaving a sour taste in your mouth. He walked over to you and bent down, examining your face.

"You're a monster."

He chuckled at your stern expression, and didn't reply. You squirmed and wriggled in your seat, desperate to break free and kick him in the balls. Instead of breaking free from the chair, you just caused yourself more pain. Blood continued to slowly drip past your wrists and onto your hands, coating your dainty fingers in pure red. Noticing how desperate you were to get out made him visibly frustrated, so he stood up and gave you a hard punch in the face. This was the hardest you've ever felt somebody punch you, and you've trained with Steve before.

Your ears started ringing and vision went blurry. He had, quite obviously, broken your nose. Blood poured out of your nose like a waterfall, and you could feel a bone sticking out of place. You groaned, sitting up straight in your chair. Although you weren't really listening, he began talking again, pacing around the room.

"I know you and your little group of superheroes have been getting my letters, and I have to say, I'm quite offended," he stopped and looked at you, "you never wrote back. I'm sure your angry, y/n, I really am. After all, I killed some of the people who you trust with your life, and I'm about to do more than just that."

You were confused by what he meant, before his companion handed him a laptop. He placed it on the floor in front of you, and you saw what appeared to be security camera footage of another room in the warehouse. Two people were tied up on chairs just like you, and it took you a moment to recognize who those two people were.

Your parents.

And before you could open you mouth to ask him why your parents were here, another figure appeared on the screen. It was him.

"How are you in two places at once?" You asked, seeming stupid. He laughed again, a low, broad chuckle.

"Oh, you silly girl, I'm not in two places at once. That was recorded half an hour ago." You put two and two together and realised that your parents were here half an hour ago, and the blood on his apron was fresh. You couldn't think of anything to say, so instead, you watched the video. You gasped when Neeko pulled out a knife, and screamed bloody murder when you saw him slit both your mother and your father's throats. You looked away, but he grabbed your head and forced you to see what happened to your parents. With the knife, he cut out their organs and their eyes, being sure to look into the camera every now and again. You were sobbing, your eyes were puffy and red, matching the crimson blood that covered the bottom half of your face.

"That's enough! I can't watch any more!" You screamed up at him, choking on your own sobs. He showed no pity as he flicked his fingers at his companion, who went and collected the wooden box. Neeko opened it in front of you, showing you a syringe full of clear, slightly yellow tinted liquid. Before you could scream for help, he had already put the needle to your neck and injected you with the serum. Your eyelids began to feel too heavy to keep open, and you fell into a deep slumber.

You woke to the sound of knives being sharpened. You were still bound to the chair, but were in a different room. It was much larger, with a few mahogany desks along one of the walls. Instead of paperwork being laid on top of the desk, there was a selection of knives, scissors and other surgical tools. You knew what was about to come, and you were prepared for the worst.

"If you're going to try and kill me then you've picked the wrong fight." Everything hurt as you spoke, but you meant what you said. The avengers would be worried by your lack of alert, and would come and find you. Any minute now, Steve and Carol were bound to break down the door and rescue you.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you, little girl." You hated him calling you that, you were in your mid early twenties but never treated like it, not even from the avengers.

"No, I'm not going to kill you. But what I am going to do is mess you up so badly that you'll never be able to fight with your precious friends ever again, and you'll live with the knowledge that you weren't strong enough to save your parents, and you weren't strong enough to save yourself." You spat at his face, which only made him laugh even more.

Turning his back to you, he picked up a knife from one of the desks. He walked over to you and sat down on an empty chair that you never even realised was beside you. Your legs were bare under your skirt, showing the most skin than any other part of your body. He placed the blade of the knife on the middle of your thigh and slowly pressed it in. You screamed, pure agony surging through you body. Hearing you scream only made Neeko want to continue, so the more you screamed the deeper her pushed the knife. Only the first half of the blade was inside of you, but you only realised how bad it was when you felt the cold metal hit your bone. He pulled the knife out and basked in the sound of your piercing screams. Just in fucking time, you heard a knock on the door. Who in the living hell would be knocking at the door while this was going on?

Neeko rose and went to answer the door. Only opening it slightly, he peered out at who was there. Then, you heard her voice.

"Pizza delivery, motherfuckers." She sent a photon blast directly to his face, and then another to his companion. She strode in, and as soon as she saw you she went pale. Your entire face, arms, thighs and ankles were drained in your own blood, and you were bound to a chair, panting. She ran over to you and broke the ropes with her own hands, and pressed the alert button on her watch. She knelt beside you, and once you were fully untied, you couldn't help but collapse directly on top of her. Your arms were draped over her back as she picked you up in a fire man's lift, walking out of the door to meet the other avengers.

☆☆☆☆☆

It had been 6 days since the night in the warehouse. After passing out, you were taken back to the tower by Carol, Bucky and Nat, where Bruce managed to identify and heal your injuries, to the best of his ability. Steve and Tony caught Neeko and his accomplices, turning them into S.H.I.E.L.D., their fate was to be decided by Nick Fury. It took you 3 days to wake up from your passing out; whatever they had injected you with keeps you asleep for longer, and they had put far too much in you. Once you had finally awoken, you used the next three days to recover in and out of bed, being forced to do mandatory small exercises to ensure your body was working perfectly. The sixth day was your first day fully out of bed, walking around the avengers tower. You needed crutches, as the wound on your leg wasn't big enough for stitches and had to recover independently. Additionally, you wore a small brace on your nose, so your bone could be shaped back into place. The only people you had seen since waking up were Bruce, Steve, and Peter. Steve had come to tell you everything that happened, and Peter came to see if you were okay. Bruce recommended no visitors until you were able to get out of bed, as it could over stimulate you, but Peter couldn't sleep knowing that you were in pain.

Carol left 3 days ago to return to her mission. She was the only person who you wanted to see; you had been through so much, and nobody could get you thought it better than her. Hobbling into the elevator, you went to the roof. You were wearing a onesie, courtesy of Wanda, and just wanted to be alone on the balcony to see the city like you and Carol had done a week ago. Once the elevator doors opened, you felt the chilly evening breeze hit your skin. Before you could step out of the elevator, you saw somebody stood on the balcony. You didn't recognize them at first, but they knew exactly who you were.

"Well well well, my favourite earth human seems to be doing quite well considering that she almost died last week."

Carol turned around and jokingly winced when she saw the state you were in, and you would've laughed if you weren't in complete shock.

"Carol..."

"Y/n."

"What are you doing? You shouldn't still be on earth." You made your way over to meet her on the balcony.

"I couldn't just leave you in a coma while I fight crime across the galaxy."

You laughed, and grabbed her hand, not a single worry crossing your mind.

"I love you, Carol. I have for ages, but I've never appreciated how much you mean to me until now." She smirked, raising a hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

"I love you too, y/n." You stood on your tip toes to kiss her, and she pulled back immediately when you did. You worried that you had done something wrong.

"It feels better to do this now that we're actually a couple." You both laughed as she leaned back into the kiss, but instead, she accidentally bonked your brace with her nose, which resulted in even more laughing.

You have been waiting so long for this.

[staytiny-angel]

War of Hearts

Chapter One

Rating: Mature

Main Pairing: Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch

Co-written with @riottbliss

Summary: Seth Rollins was once known as the Bad Boy Prince of MMA, now years after a career ending knee injury he's stepping into.the Octagon again not as a competitor but as his little sister's coach. Unfortunately for him the redhead across the cage from he and Paige is not only woman he'd just had a one night stand with but the younger sister and protege of the Finn Balor...the man that ended Seth's career.

Warnings: MMA style violence, Alcoholism, Implied Self-Harm (DM for details), Depression, Angst with a Happy Ending

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, or professionally known by Triple-H sighed with embarrassment, reading tweet after tweet from his youngest son Seth Rollins.

"What happened to him?" His best friend and practically brother Shawn Michaels asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Cody took him out of the press conference, Seth's hungover, blaming everyone but himself"

Shawn shook his head, "Kid is letting the hype go to his brain. He's all over TMZ, The Bad Boy Prince of MMA is what they call him"

"Seth is the best fighter in the world in his division. He's earned the cockiness but his lifestyle…." Hunter shook his head

Shawn made a disgusted sound. "Kid reminds me of me before I got my act together"

"Fatherhood is what made you get your act together. That won't work for Seth" Hunter clicked on a video of his drunken son yelling into a camera about Finn Balor that had gone viral last week.

"He talks so much shit about Balor being a low rent MacGregor, hell Seth acts more like Conor then Finn does."

Hunter sighed "He's turned this into a complete mess, I wouldn't be surprised if his team drops him."

"Hey, Dusty loved that kid, Dustin and Cody wouldn't release him until he stopped making them money"

Hunter nodded but looked nonetheless unthrilled.

"He keeps making excuses about everything. I'm this close to calling Steph"

Shawn nodded with agreement as the two entered Seth's penthouse, greeting a tired looking Cody Rhodes. "I can't do this anymore Hunter" he said in place of a normal greeting.

"You are not dropping him" Hunter said matter of factly.

"AEF is supposed to be for fighters that respect the sport, he fucks around and doesn't even show up to the gym" Cody said.

Hunter ignored him and went upstairs to where he could hear his youngest groaning in misery.

Hunter sighed as Seth looked up from the toilet he was practically hugging. "I'm twenty five, perfectly legal" he muttered, Hunter's gaze looking at the black and gold championship that laid discarded.

"While ago you would have treated that with respect" He said, Seth rolling his eyes. "Would you rather me puke on it? It's just a fucking belt' "

"Don't let anyone hear you say that" Hunter said lowly. "You're going to the weigh in today even if I have to drag you by your hair there myself"

"No the fuck I'm not, don't you see me dyin' here?" Seth whined "I'm going to fucking sleep"

"What the fuck happened to you?!" Hunter yells "Every since your Uncle Shane became your manager this is what you've turned into."

Seth looked unfazed. "Don't get angry because I'm better than you ever were" and shoved his father out of his way, flipping off Cody, and ignoring Shawn.

"What am I going to do with him?" Hunter sighed, exhausted.

"Knock his ass out?" Shawn suggested. "I'll take care of him" Cody rolled his eyes. "Britt and I will make sure he gets to the weigh in. I just need painkillers and food"

"I'm gonna go talk to Shane, I want to know what kind of garbage he's been filling my kid's head with" Hunter mutters

"I told you listening to Vince was a mistake." Shawn replies shaking his head "All of you let Vince snow you into thinking it was embarrassing that his mother managed him"

Hunter sighed. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to drag Steph back, Shane has a tight grip on him"

"Worry about that fuckface later" Shawn said. "Seth needs you, not him" Hunter nodded firmly, making his way downstairs to see Seth passed out on his couch, his dog Kevin and cat Daryl laying on him.

"This was our compromise" Cody explained. "I let him take a nap, he goes to the weigh in later"

"He isn't going to beat Balor in this condition. He doesn't spar anymore and his knee has been inflamed for weeks" Britt says quietly

"He shouldn't even be fighting. We told Shane but he says there's too much money at stake for Seth to pull out"

"Money money money"' Shawn mocked. "All he cares about is fucking printed paper"

Hunter ignored them and instead chose to brush back some of Seth's hair, his son unconsiously responding to it. "What did I do wrong raising him?" he asked. Hunter rolls his eyes at the look his older brother gave him "The truth" he says quietly

"No offense bro, but this family is a whole fucking lot to live up to and you weren't exactly shy about your expectations once Seth showed an aptitude for the sport. None of us were. I have to even ask myself, when was the last time any of us actually had a conversation with the kid that wasn't about fighting?"

"He's cracking underneath the pressure" Cody chimes in

"Yeah, he is and now Shane is filling his head with all these ideas about the image he should project" Shawn continues "Quiet guys who, play with their dogs and write poetry when their not in the Octagon don't sell tickets, but Bad Boys sure the fuck do."

*Later*

Seth scowled at his phone as Britt ushered him into the arena the weigh was taking place in. "I'm assuming you told the press he was gonna bail?" Cody growled at Shane who held his hands up. "They were gonna find out sooner or later" "Yeah yeah, no press is bad press" Seth said.

"Except the press says you're an asshole" Cody deadpanned. "Don't do anything stupid up there, or Mark is going to have a stroke" Seth didn't respond, instead heading up the stairs to the stage, where Balor had clearly made weight, despite being skinny. Seth took off his shirt per usual, standing on the scale.

"197 pounds" The announcer said, Seth smirking at Balor. The Irish man looked unfazed and rolled his eyes. Seth, in a act of annoyance, promptly flipped him off, hearing everyone in the crowd either laugh or groan

-Backstage -

"Gonna be fun beating your ass Balor, I promise not to hurt you too badly," Seth says cockily, slouching in a chair and putting his sunglasses back on.

"Oh, Rolly its almost time to give up your precious" Finn responds, "Clock is ticking boyo and your time is almost up"

"Mon roi, nous devons-oh shit" a pake woman walked up, speaking rapid French and stopping in her place when she saw Seth.

"Hey Seth" she said coldly.

"Vi" Seth responded, his attitude gone.

"He your king now?" "Surprised you even remember any French, from what I read, you've drank yourself through everything"

"It's what happens when you give your heart to someone and get it ripped in half, I wasn't enough for you, that's what you said right? I wasn't straight enough for you?! So you threw my ring in my face and left" Seth yelled "Cause Bisexual people, we're all cheaters didn't you know?"

At least according to Violet Gillath, wait I'm sorry Violet Balor now isn't it?."

"Stop it" Finn growled. "Before I knock your ass out now"

"Try it bitch" Seth snarled back.

Violet got between them and shoved Seth back. "Chaton, stop" she hissed.

Seth stumbled upon hearing his old nickname. "Why?" he choked out. "What did I do?"

Seth shook his head as if to shake his thoughts into place "Why Violet? Why did you leave me? You...you fucking broke me" he said in a small voice "I have the right to know why, just tell me. Why would you do that after everything. I was going to quit fighting for you because you didn't like seeing what it was turning me into. You get up on stage and you still sing my songs, but you said you hated me. I just wanna know."

Violet crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "I didn't want to be with you. You never signed anything so legally those songs are mine. I said what I meant, you weren't enough"

Seth looked like she had rebroken his heart.

Thankfully Britt walked in. "Hey, we gotta go"

Seth grabbed his title and held it to Finn. "This is mine. You can keep that bitch but you will never get this"

-Backstage-

"I've never known you to be biphobic, wanna explain to me why Rollins is convinced you are?" Finn said sitting down in his locker room with his wife a few minutes later.

"His uncle...manager, that bastard Shane got me my record deal in exchange for breaking Seth's heart" Violet told her husband "Seth hates fighting, he was going to quit and go on the road with me. He can't sing a note but he writes and plays guitar. We were going to be a duo. Shane was watching his cash cow walk out the door. So he threatened me and made an offer. Seth was the sweetest thing and he loved me and I broke his heart and let Shane turn him into that"

"If I could go back in time and slap him across the face I would but I can't" Violet said brokenly. "Shane has made it perfectly clear that if I ever tell him that he would ruin both our careers"

Finn hugged her to him. "I'm still gonna kick his ass" Violet slapped his arm. "Please try not to" Finn shrugged. "I'm undefeated"

"You know Seth is too. And the thing with being undefeated is that there's only one way down, being kicked off the mountain"

-Next Day-

Seth was throwing up again having had drank himself to sleep following his encounter with his ex.

Cody looked extremely tired and Britt concerned. "You have to fight in an hour!" Cody yelled out

"I don't fucking care." Seth yelled back "I don't even want to fucking fight." He muttered to himself, as he rubbed at his knee. "Come on fucking give already." He whispered to the inflamed appendage.

He knew what he was doing was dangerous but it was his only way out. If his knee would just give up the fucking ghost, he could quit this bullshit once and for all.

"Your sisters are out there tonight" Britt said, walking in, holding a brace.

"I really don't care" Seth growled, letting Britt put his knee in it.

"And your mom' Britt added. Seth took a breath when Britt touched his knee.

"Holy shit, it feels like its burning"

We're letting you go after tonight" Cody said angrily. "I don't care if you win or not, you've ruined All Elite Fighting's reputation"

"I don't care, I never wanted to be in your shitty gym anyway" Seth shrugged. "I'm going to get changed"

[writemywaytoyourheart]

First Date | Park Jimin

a/n: this was requested by @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng thank you love, I hope you like it 💕 I'm sorry this took so long but it was so cute and fun to write! I also made a mood board for you^^

BTS Masterlist ← find all my works here~

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: Fluffy fluff uwu

Warnings: none ^_^

Word count: 2.6k oh sit, I went a bit crazy...I hope y'all like this.

Summary: Jimin finally worked up the courage to ask you out, and now? He just hopes everything goes according to plan.

Park Jimin...

The Park Jimin, asked you to go out on a date with him...?

Um...what?

-

You weren't sure exactly what happened at the time. You were at the boys' dorm, having been their friend for almost a year now. You were playing board games with Namjoon, Hoseok, Yoongi and Jimin, while Seokjin, Tae, and Jungkook settled for video games instead. Now, you weren't gonna lie, you'd had the biggest crush on Jimin since the very first time you met him when Namjoon introduced you to the rest of the boys.

His sweet smile and caring personality won you over and you knew it was all over for you then. Then that one night, as you all talked and cheered and fought over the paper money that Yoongi was trying to claim as his 'fair and square'. Seokjin and Jungkook were shoving each other playfully trying to distract the other one while playing Mario Kart, while Tae quietly got ahead of the other two; having pretended to be uninterested in winning, and scored first place, pumping his fists in the air and saying over and over again, "yes yes yes!!" As the two other boys groaned in disappointment. You laugh at the three of them and turn back to see Hobi and Yoongi each clutching a side of the fake money, neither one willing to let go first, and Namjoon sitting there with his head in his hands as the two bickered back and forth. You look at Jimin who's sitting across the game from you and he smiles and shakes his head, silently agreeing with you that they were all fools. Lovable fools. But fools just the same.

You smiled back, willing yourself not to blush, and mouthed to him that you were gonna go get a drink. He nodded and smiled again and you stood up, gesturing at him, wondering if he wanted something as well. He shook his head and mouthed 'no thank you' back. Picking your way carefully over everyone you finally made it into the kitchen for some water.

-

"Jimin, what are you doing? Have you asked her yet?" Namjoon whispered to him in his ear once you disappeared into the other room. Jimin turned positively crimson then shook his head slightly. He looked up and saw Jin gesturing toward the kitchen like a mad man with his head, eyes wide, telling Jimin to do it now. Jimin stood up quickly and tried not to stumble going through the crowded room, and trying to ignore the giggles coming from the other excited members. He'd liked you since the day he met you, you were super sweet, friendly, and funny too. They knew that he liked you and it was maddening for them to watch him try again and again to get the courage to ask you out. His heart pounded as he rounded the corner and saw you leaning on the counter, drinking a glass of water.

He was finally doing it.

-

You saw Jimin come around the corner suddenly and you choked on your water, sputtering and wiping your mouth, cursing yourself for being so jumpy all of a sudden.

He walked over to you, concern written all over his cute face, "you ok y/n? Sorry if I scared you. I-I, I decided I d-did need a drink." You shook your head and smiled at him then brushed it off quickly, "I'm fine, a little water never hurt anyone haha." He smiled again and his eyes crinkled up, his cheeks all bunching up and oh gosh you wanted to squish them.

What. No. You did not just think that.

He grabbed a glass and filled it up then took a sip before he turned to you. He gulped, it wasn't the water he was swallowing, he was so nervous. Just blurt it out Jimin, he thought to himself, just do it, it's now or never.

"Uh, y/n?"

"Yeah?" You tried to sound nonchalant, why were you so nervous? Jimin was your friend.

"Um, uh, I just, I was wondering, that is, I mean, can I, do you, maybe, could, uh..." The poor boy couldn't get a single sentence out, stuttering and blushing profusely. You reached out before you could even think, and touched his arm lightly, "hey, it's okay Jimin, what is it?" He seemed to relax with your soft tone and touch and he straightened up a bit, then said in a rush, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out–with me–on, on a date...maybe...?"

Well that was unexpected.

-

Of course you had said yes, probably a bit faster than you should have, but Jimin was all smiles and the tension between you two that night disappeared quickly. The rest of the boys were over the moon with relief that night after Jimin related what had happened to them, after you had left of course, and they were all super excited for the both of you.

-

A few days later and you're sitting on your couch, fiddling with your hands that are starting to sweat a little. You have no idea why you're so nervous, Jimin was your friend and this wouldn't change anything between the two of you. Except, maybe it would. You aren't sure but now was not the time to be dwelling on such things. The doorbell suddenly rings and you jump up, from excitement and partly surprise.

You hurry over, grabbing your purse and opening the door to see Jimin standing there smiling–he looked very handsome in a long sleeved black shirt and pants, that contrasted with his blonde hair.

You smile back and step outside to walk with him to his car.

"You look beautiful, y/n." He says it shyly but you can hear the smile in his voice. Seeing as you spent a lot of time getting ready, you're so grateful that he said that. You turn and look at him, trying to keep your blush under control, "thank you Jimin, you look very nice as well." He really did, and you can tell he's trying his very best not to blush too as he says a quiet 'thank you'. It wasn't awkward at all, just new for you. You two get to the car and he opens your door, waits for you to be seated comfortably and then shuts it before trotting over to his own side. You smile at him through the windows when he isn't looking, he is just too cute.

He sighs happily when he opens the door, sits down, and starts putting his buckle on. Then he turns to smile at you again, "it's really nice out today, thank goodness. We're in luck y/n!" You laugh at his excitement and clap your hands, it really was lucky that today wasn't too hot or too cold, it was perfect and you couldn't be happier.

The two of you start talking about what you'd done the past few days and fall into talking about the most random stuff; things you found on the internet or a stupid project you had at work, his new dances and what song he wanted to cover next with Jungkook. It was just like it was whenever you two hung out with the other boys, nothing was weird, just familiar and comfortable; which you were extremely grateful for.

Eventually he pulls the car up to the side of the road and unbuckles. You look out the window and see that you're at a little park with a big open green field, not many people were walking around and there was a little trail looping around it, surrounded by cherry blossom trees–it's the most beautiful park you've ever seen.

Jimin sees the look on your face and giggles, he hops out of the car and opens your door. He parked so that you were by the sidewalk, so you step out and follow him around to the trunk of the car. He opens it and you see a blanket, a little umbrella, and a big picnic basket. You look at him in question about the little umbrella and he shrugs, "just in case, for sun or rain, wanted to be prepared." You try so hard not to uwu right then and there, of course Jimin would do this; a peaceful picnic in this park sounded just like something this boy would do, and you loved picnics–did he know that? You wonder and look over at him. He was smiling down at the stuff and starts pulling it all out. You offer to carry the blanket and he hands it to you then takes out the basket and umbrella. Jimin shuts the trunk and hangs the basket on his arm, umbrella in hand–then he turns to you and smiles again, earning a smile back from you. You both make your way through the grass, it was so green and beautiful today. Jimin finds a nice spot under the shade of a tree, and sets the basket down, "this looks like a good place, what do you think y/n?" You turn around, scanning the area, it really was a nice place, not too much sun and just enough away from the few people that were walking the trails.

"It's perfect Jimin. Have you been here before?" You ask as you lay the blanket down, Jimin walks over and helps you spread the blanket out, then when that's finished he starts pulling food out of the basket. "Yeah, me and the boys came here once, I haven't been here since though. I want to come more often." He looks sideways at you and you pretend not to notice as you nod and help pull the food out. There was a lot, and it all looked so good. Jimin giggles when he sees your face, "Jin hyung made most of it, but he let me help with some stuff that he thought I wouldn't mess up." You laugh and shake your head, "well, I'm sure you did an amazing job Jiminie, make sure to send Jin my thanks as well." He nods happily and pulls out the last of the food.

Jimin hands you a sandwich and you both start to eat, you close your eyes and feel the slight breeze on your face. The sandwhich was delicious and when you open your eyes to tell him that, you see Jimin look away from you, blushing madly and taking a bite of his own sandwich. You try to change the subject so he doesn't get too embarrassed that you caught him looking at you.

"Hey Jimin."

He looks at you sheepishly and swallows almost choking, "y-yeah?" You hold up the sandwich and smile, "it's really good, did you help make this?" He nods and his eyes crinkle up–you try not to freak out again, but your heart can't stop fluttering at how adorable he is. You two spend the time eating all the food you can handle, and talking about the most random things, as usual. Eventually you're both lying on the blanket and looking up at the tree your picnic is under. A squirrel is running along a branch and you watch it as you sigh happily, you aren't sure how this day could get any better, the sun was just warm enough and the sky was so blue, when you reach over the blanket and touch the grass it's super soft under your fingers. Jimin can't stop smiling as you two relax on the blanket and even close your eyes for a bit.

-

The sun is starting to set and you have no idea how the time flew by so fast. You start feeling sad, knowing that Jimin will probably start packing everything up soon, and the date will be over. So you're surprised when he stands up and reaches out for your hand, not making any move to clean anything up yet. You take his hand and he pulls you to stand up, intertwining your fingers with his, "come on," he says softly. Then he grabs another small blanket from the basket and starts walking over a little to where there are no trees around. Once he finds a spot he likes, he spreads the blanket and sits on it patting next to him, signalling for you to do the same. You sit down and laugh, "what are we doing Jimin?" He just lies down and pulls you down next to him, "you'll see in a minute." You two are on your sides, propped up on your elbows, facing each other. The sun is down now and only a few little lamps are on, over by the trails. There is a soft glow from the lamps and from the moon, and you can see him smiling at you happily. You grin back and look at him quizzically, "well, what are we doing?" You giggle a little nervously. He doesn't say anything but turns onto his back and scoots closer to you, then points up at the sky. You move to lie on your back as well, your arm touching his, your heart pounding at the close proximity. Your gaze follows his arm, "oh," you let out a surprised breath at what you see; Jimin's arm is lifted and he's pointing up at the sky that's completely full of stars, the brightest you've ever seen. Without the lights from the city you can see the night sky in all its beautiful wonder. Jimin whispers softly, "Look, y/n... It's the Big Dipper over there, and right there that's the Archer. Do you see it?" You follow the line of his arm and hand as he moves and points out the constellations. You've never seen them this clearly before and you nod in awe, "I see them, they're so big, and bright, a-and beautiful." You feel warmth in your left hand and turn your head to see Jimin has put his right arm down from pointing out the stars and has taken your hand in his slowly, almost like asking permission. You wrap your fingers around his and look at him, his eyes have squinted up again from the smile that's broken out on his face, cheeks all squished up. You smile at him, not knowing how you could've gotten so lucky. Little did you know he's thinking the same thing as he gazes at you in the soft light. Then suddenly you both look away shyly and look back up at the sky again. For a few minutes you both point out different shapes you see and laugh at a few of them.

After a while you feel tears spring into your eyes at how absolutely gorgeous it all is, the millions of stars, the bright moon, how happy you are to be sitting here and sharing this with him. You hear his voice softly from next to you then,

"Y/n, do you want to come here with me again? O-or somewhere else if you'd like, but I mean- that is..."

You try not to laugh, he honestly had your heart beating like a conga drum and he was the one feeling nervous? You weren't sure how you could make him nervous like this, but you squeeze his hand and look at him, "Jimin," he turns and looks at you a bit anxiously, "y-yeah?" His cheeks are burning again and he prays that you can't see it in this light.

"I'd love to go out with you again, and thank you for today." He lets out a breath he was holding and almost cries in relief. Today couldn't have gone better for the both of you, and it was way past overdue, but the outcome made it all worth it.

Park Jimin.

The Park Jimin....asked you out on a date?

Yes, yes he did.

[dis-pose-able-blog]

Blue moon- vmin

Note: So hi? I was listening to 4 o'clock and well remembered that it was written based off of Jimin and then I like properly appreciated the lyrics once again because is a beautiful song and well I was like hey, why not write a one-shot based off of it... so I did and I ended up enjoying what I'd written (kind of) and well I wanted to publish it but it's a one-shot and I have no idea where to do so bc I'm too lazy to make a one-shot book :")

anywhore.... here's my one-shot based off of 4 o'clock and spring day! It's unrevised and fresh from my mind's womb! Enjoy!

-- -- -- --

I took a deep breath as the cold clawed its way throughout my body, and released it with the faintest rolling of steam slipping past my lips; the time I was unsure of though the moon was up yet I seemed to be the only soul risen with it.

My fingers numbed with the moonlight breeze, though that letter I wrote so long ago now was still firmly gripped between my fingers, it was for someone - someone I no longer have, I planned to read it to them though missed my chance and I've simply written a long, long letter to the moon. It was merely a corrupted file now for the mood could never equal that whom it was intended for - he shone brighter than the moon; everyone saw that but himself and I vaguely remember him whispering, on one of the last occasions in meeting him, that he was 'nothing more than a small lit candle in a life full of chandeliers' and I felt my face contort in almost anger yet the molten tear that radiated down my cheek, freezing my heart even more, told me all I felt was nothing but sadness toward the boy who'd sold his soul to the moon.

With a gruff weakness I wiped away the tears from my face and stood, allowing my feet to wander; my mind seeming to become confused between itself and the appendages for it began to wonder, tripping up and landing upon a desert - its once beautiful seas draining out through my eyes, washing a mirage of an oasis of happiness upon it whenever someone asks "how are you holding up?" with that condescending rub of the arm and a head tilt with that stupid tone of voice - I hate it!

I was so caught up in my thoughts, the brewing sand-storm halting at the sound of a song. Was it a bird song? That sound? Just simply a nameless bird calling out into the dark? Crying for its baby to fly back into the safe embrace of its delicately crafted fortress of a nest? Or was it you? Was it that voice I'd heard once upon a dream? Could it possibly that voice that brings a red-hot desire to see you once more each step I take this?

I found myself taking another step, one after another - I was running toward that voice, for it was more than just a nameless bird singing; so I followed it into the deep, into the ocean of darkness.

One step, another step. My grip tightening around the paper, the cold numbing being but something I ignored for I longed to see your brightness once again and I found myself stumbling into a park - one from when we were younger, happier... or were you never truly happy?

The sweet melody of your voice took me deeper into the darkness though I still couldn't find you. "Where are you?" My voice cracked and crumbled into the ground beneath my feet. "You?" My heart lurched and fluttered, I was pretty sure for a moment that repetitive thumping of it came to a complete halt upon the sight of you before me, swinging backwards and forwards shaded by the blue of moonlight, humming to yourself a tune of your own and it carried out into the night as if you were a siren calling sailors to their peril.

He's still as ethereal as ever, if not even more so- the way the light cascaded down upon him, he possessed none of his usual traits, however. His tan skin had been bleached into a radiant blue-white and his deep rose lips had been kissed with hues of navy and his once black hair had been stripped into a tincture of chalk white and there was something empty about his once full eyes - he was before me and yet something in him was lost.

"Why are you crying?" he turned to me and asked, though the oceans in his shaded eyes made me wonder too why he was crying - he'd gotten his wish and left. He did this; ran off and followed the stories of children of the moon; like Wendy, Peter and Micheal flying off to Neverland... except for this time he can't fly back. The window had been shut. Locked. Bricked up and he did it to himself.

I shook my head with a frown, running to his now standing figure, embracing him the comforting smell I'd begged my nose to remember hitting me in a strong wave, the welcoming arms and once warm, now cold, cage he'd delicately caught me in causing my heart to burn and shake and my eyes to drain the last of the oceans of my mind and I sobbed into his neck and he into mine.

"Why do you cry?" He repeated through sobs. "You and I are the only ones here - like it used to be - like you wanted! Me and you! So why do you cry?" his muffled cry of pain vibrated against my skin as my breath tried to catch up with me.

"You've been gone too long, Jimin! You left me! I loved you and you left me!" I screamed back, our voices creating a chorus of agony "You left us! I - we needed you and you left!" I tried to collect my shattered self, though the dim moonlight hindered me from putting the house of cards back together.

It remained quiet on his part, words seemingly caught in his throat as I choked out the words I'd been wanting to tell him since the day he left, I shoved the letter into his chest "read it when you miss us" I muttered, seated on another bench, though I hadn't realised we'd moved, I found myself leaning down and resting my head upon his lap, stray tears seeping out of my eyes as his fingers carded through my hair, that tune from earlier arising in his throat, a self-made backing track accompanying his words.

"Tae, I loved you, I did - do, even... Blaming yourself... don't do that. I had my reasons but you were not one of them i -"

"So what were they, Jimin?" I interjected, earning a flick to the forehead.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm older than you remember" we both half chuckled, a bittersweet exchange, however, it was refreshing - hearing his laugh for the first time, in person, after almost two years was beautiful. It was the only sound I could never get tired of and was something I never wanted him to stop doing. "Some things are best left unsaid, I had reasons and only I am to blame for my actions, don't let your heart freeze over, it's far too beautiful for that."

"So was yours and yet... you destroyed it. You did this, Jimin alas other people were also to hold accountable! You can't always blame yourself for the things that go wrong" I sighed, playing with the hand he'd rested upon my stomach "you put so much pressure upon yourself - destroy your mind with a self-made poison and it does nothing but brew trouble! You think I didn't notice how certain comments affected you, you think I didn't understand - that I'd reject you if you told me everything you felt, you thought that by putting on a brave facade that those thoughts, comments, judgments were hidden... well, they weren't! Not from me anyway! I knew it all! I should've helped you!" I gritted out through my teeth, looking up at him and sighing when I saw that lopsided half smiled he'd do and my eyes watered yet again, my mouth opening to speak yet again, though he silenced me with a small kiss - a tiny peck, a gesture that was reassuring yes though it seemed alien it'd been that long; my heart abducted and replaced with butterflies and fireworks just like it had the first time we kissed. He began to stroke my head again, causing me to shut my eyes and bask in the beauty and comfort brought to me under the blue the light of the moon shaded me with.

"I miss you." He started, his voice soft and broken "I didn't want to hurt you but I did, I came to apologise - to ease the pain, I came to erase the hurt and anger, to find closure and let go and yet I can't really let you go yet, Tae" he whispered "do you hate me for it? Would you rather forget my existence for leaving?" I stopped playing with his hand and looked to him.

"Yeah, I hate you; you left me, Jimin." I scoffed "But, the two years you've been gone? I've never stopped thinking about you and I don't plan to." I continued to play with his hand before linking them together "other people drove you into leaving-"

"Tae, it was my decision." He frowned, squeezing my hand "you keep passing blame and -"

"Because, Jimin! It hurts less than to blame you! Every day I want to see you, speak to you, you're my best friend, yet you're not there, you're gone and there's a hole in my entire existence now that you've gone and blaming you only seems to put salt on the wound and not only does it hurts but it makes me bitter toward you" my voice softened, looking to the man so our eyes were locked "and I can't bring myself to hate someone like you, Jimin. You're too... Jimin!"

There was an empty laughter, one that resonated in my heart, he sounded so pained, so broken that I recalled him using the same one just before he died. Looking up to the stars, he let out a breath before running his hands through my hair yet again, that tune from earlier bubbling up through his throat, this time in words, and out into the sky, a lullaby to the moon, a lullaby to me, a warning of the close coming pass of dawn.

You know it all, you're my best friend.

The sun will rise again;

no darkness, no season can last forever.

And, once the moon had fallen to sleep and the sun rose to suffocate my being, I sat up with a strangled, cold cry clawing throughout my body upon this dusty bench in a park somewhere just beside the city, the blue shade that'd been cast over me disappearing "J-Ji-Jimin! Please - don't leave me! Don't leave me again!" I said, trying to grab onto the soft hand stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry." It took one disgustingly warm ray of sunlight to wipe out the silhouette of the moon child before me, one final injection of UV rays to strip me of my Jimin once again.