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#WHY CAN'T THE GUYS AT MY SCHOOL BE LIKE THEM
violenteconomics · 2 days
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ace for the first time losing his cool and being forced to rely on the other 1st years,,, (an absolute nightmare for him, wdym ace trappola isnt in control of his emotions and how hes perceived?) im thinking maybe smh with his brother? he cares about him a tons so it probably would be him that makes ace panic sm that he cant even use his 'cool and unbothered' mask. putting this guy in situations where he has to acknowledge he actually has friends and open up to them but also feel so overwhelmed by it
PFFFFFTT OKAY I SEE YOU. anything with ace being a mess is an absolute win ❤️ anything 4 u, baby.
okay, so, here's how i imagine it to go:
ace is just hanging in the courtyard by himself, probably checking his grades on whatever portal night raven college uses for that, when he gets a text message from his dad.
his brother had an accident on the movie set he was working on, and he's in critical condition at the hospital.
which is honestly too bad, because according to nrc code, ace can't leave to go home and see him unless it's "a matter of school and personal pride". like any good nrc student, ace tries to bottle it up and go on about his day. but as the week goes on, and he gets no updates about his brother's condition, his facade quickly falls apart.
he gets in trouble for having his phone out in class — not that he can concentrate, anyway. he's handing in papers that are incomplete, quizzes that are unfinished, and you can forget about that 5,000-word essay he owes riddle.
deuce is the first to notice that something's wrong. he starts covering for ace, making excuses for why he can't come to see professor crewel "right this instant", or why he keeps missing ramshackle hang-outs. every single time his lies get more and more outlandish, ranging from "i asked him to go check on my macaroni that i put in the microwave six hours ago" to "we just saw a cow fall from the sky, yes i didn't go with him, what was i supposed to do, miss history class—" he doesn't know why ace is suddenly so quiet or so stressed, but he's not about to make it worse.
yuu notices almost immediately after deuce does — mostly because deuce is a horrible liar. and, as the housewarden of ramshackle, they start exercising their right to have ace stay at their dorm "indefinitely", so ace doesn't get bothered. ace spends most of his time on his phone, so he doesn't really do much, but at least this way, yuu can personally ensure ace sleeps and stays fed and gets off his damn phone every once in a while.
ortho is extremely adept at noticing anomalies, and it's easy to see that the silent husk that's walking around school isn't his smug, slick-talking friend. he doesn't know what's wrong, exactly, but he does know that ace isn't in any mental position to do his work. going against all academic responsibility (do not do this in real life, pls), ortho starts chat-gpting all of ace's essays and homework assignments. he analyzes ace's text messages, and asks idia to create a program for him that would allow him to copy anyone's handwriting. he then uses it to reproduce work that sounds like it would come from ace, and it's actually really convincing.
upon realizing that a) ace has moved into ramshackle and is basically catatonic, and b) yuu's meal budget is already pretty strained just feeding two people, epel decides to chip in. he starts getting even more discrete with the food he sneaks into pomefiore, going so far as to prepare meals in the gymnasium after school to decrease the probability of someone from pomefiore catching him in the act. when he can't sneak in any food, he gets a crap-ton of apple juice, shoves it into a box, and sends it to ramshackle, hoping that'll be enough to get ace through the day.
sebek starts to act as ace's bodyguard, after ace almost ran into someone while looking down at his phone, and said someone nearly slammed his head into the wall. so, sebek asks riddle for ace's schedule, and starts walking him to class everyday. he's more than a little worried about his tiny human friend, who goes about his days with glazed eyes, flat expressions, and one-word responses, but he's hiding it very well. /sar
jack doesn't get nearly as involved as the others with ace's sudden uncharacteristic behavior, but he does still worry for his friend, his ears drooping down whenever he sees him. he offers ace moral support and words of encouragement where he can, but mostly he's forced to sit back and watch as the vibrant reds that encompass ace's natural aura begin to gray. and he doesn't like it one bit.
the turning point comes in ramshackle dorm. all of the first-years have gathered for their weekly hang-outs, but it's more awkward than usual without the presence of a certain red-head that exudes talkative energy. everytime deuce goes to tap ace on the shoulder, or ortho goes to sit down in ace's lap, or jack's tail wags to the point where it's almost thumping against ace's back, they all stop midway through, because ace is clearly busy...
then, two stifling hours later, ace starts crying.
sebek frantically asks what's wrong, but ace is full-on sobbing at this point and finally drops his phone.
ortho wraps his arms around him, unsure of what else can do.
jack picks up ace's phone, eyes widening as he backlogs through ace's messages to his dad, and realizes exactly what's been bothering ace this whole time.
(needless to say, there are a lot of cuddles in ace's future, and a lot of screaming and cursing in crowley's.)
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cosmonauter · 19 hours
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ahh, i hope you like it @liv-does-stuff !!
bestfriend james who has no boundaries with you!!
james potter thinks you are the best friend he's ever had. normally people tell him that he's too clingy, and they don't like him hanging around them all the time. and it's not a problem for him, but he just wants someone to let him hug and touch without being awkward about it.
so when you two met, he felt like the luckiest person on earth because you don't think it's weird when he hugs you from behind and kisses the top of your head.
you don't judge him for demanding cuddles and sleepovers at least two times a week. you even encourage him to be touchier!
his favourite thing to do with you is bathing together. since he's a headboy, he has unlimited access to the prefect's bathroom, which means that the two of you bathe together as often as possible.
he's especially excited to meet you today because he was informed about a new couple in school, and he really wants to gossip about it with you!
so while he is cleaning his bed of sirius' socks and peter's sweets, because you're sleeping over today, sirius decides to ask him a question, "are you meeting up with them again? don't you think it's a little weird that you guys bath at the same time in the same room, even though you're 'just friends'?"
"why would it be weird? they wash my back and i condition their hair for them. it's logical and they don't mind it aswell. it's actually really nice, and besides, don't act as if remus and you don't shower together!"
remus sighs, "james, sirius and i are in a relationship with eachother. aside from that, i totally agree with pads, it is weird that you take baths together. what's even weirder is you touching while being in said bath!"
"you guys just don't have the connection that my dove and i have. it's okay though, don't be sad about it! maybe one day you'll reach the same trust we have in each other.", james throws a towel over one shoulder and picks out a shirt for you to wear, and matching pants, so everyone you come across in the halls knows about your superior friendship (and that you're his, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone, not even under torture).
"i'm going to the bath, padfoot don't eat anything on my bed, my dove complained about the crumbs last time, and i promised them to change that! they're sleeping with me today. bye bye!"
he closes the door before any of them can say anything and runs to the bathroom as fast as he can.
-
as soon as he arrives in the prefect bathroom, he already sees you taking off your clothes.
while you are struggling with unzipping your pants, he comes up behind you and grabs your waist, pulling you into an embrace. your naked back against his broad chest sends electric shocks down his body and he shivers against you and presses your body closer to his.
"jamie, can you help me with my zipper? it isn't moving any further and i can't get out of my pants like that."
james would do anything for you, if you never stopped looking at him with those puppy-eyes, "of course, sweetheart. stay still."
he moves his hand away for a moment to turn your body facing his. while his one hand moves towards your zipper, the other one steadying your body by holding your hip, he grins at you and you smile back up at him.
he tugs a few times, but the pants don't budge. you notice his forehead getting sweatier, so you suggest to "take off your shirt jamie, it's to hot in here for you to be wearing it!" while tugging it up his back a little.
he pulls it off and throws it to the side, giving you a grin, "if you wanted me naked, darling, you just had to ask."
you scrunch your brows together, "if i wanted you naked, you would already be.". he snorts, and keeps tugging at your jeans.
suddenly an idea blossoms in his head. what if your zipper got stuck on something from the inside of your pants. so, of course, he sticks his hand down your pants to find a little string, connected to your underwear, being held hostage by said zipper.
"darling, you just have to pull your trousers down together with your panties. see, just like that..", he slowly eases your trousers over your butt, enjoying the feeling of your body under his hands.
you shiver against him and moan out," thank you, jamie. i should've thought about that." you blush and hide your head in his chest.
"don't worry about it, my love. i'm happy to help you as much as you need.", he smiles down at you, while you start tugging down his zipper to take of his trousers.
as soon as they fall to the floor, james picks you up by your waist and throws you into the water.
" james, you idiot!!", you scream at him while trying to splash him with the water. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry angel! i'll jump in okay? will that make you happy?"
-
"they are definitely fucking, i'm telling you!"
"sirius, calm down! what if they hear you, huh?"
"oh come on remus, they wear matching pajamas and use silencing charms every single time they have a 'sleepover', they won't hear a thing, trust me!"
"you're right, love, but still."
"wormy, what do you think?"
"i think they're both idiots, who really don't get why it's so weird."
please tell me if i need to change something, or if you have some tips on getting better. i hope you enjoyed it :))
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yuseirra · 2 days
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hikaai is such a funny ship. I feel like I'm defending someone in court for being wrongly convicted... pleading "Oh, there is no way he could have done it, your honor!" with the basis being.. my hunch (but there IS more than that) So it's... not exactly about being happy and excited at this point(I love drawing them btw), it's more about being unable to overlook some things.
Either the guy is so good at lying and his entire life that's been described so far is a lie, or it's that he's extremely hurt and timid (he couldn't even go visit his gf giving birth and go see his own kids because he got nervous if what he claims is the truth PL EASE Hikaru.. oh, goodness. But I think this DOES fit his character... it's oddly realistic. And he treats his children quite lovingly after that? The way I see it?)
but even if he can fool ME, I doubt he would have been able to fool Ai. She's the better liar, her whole story revolved around her lies and love and there's a scene where she literally reads him like a book within the story. If Ai and he fights, he does not have even the slightest chance to win. He does not stand a chance against Ai. That's what happened regarding the 15 year old lie as well, he didn't have a clue when it came to HER lies. I like that about them. They're very tragic, but you know, the way Ai steps in and leads him is sweet. That part of it is kind of cute. That's EXACTLY why she's worried about him, everyone, he's so vulnerable and so easy to be taken advantage of. It happens OVER AND OVER. I'D worry if I knew a person like that.
Am I the only one who feels this way? This character is being bullied. I shouldn't have to care about that, he's just a drawing, he can go to jail or HELL if he needs to be punished, I won't care about him if HE'S the one who's killed Ai (he's still good-looking but my feelings for him would change a whole lot) but don't people see?; Ai decided to help him because he was bullied as a child!! She couldn't bear seeing the guy she found endearing being in pain! I think that's happening again! And Ai's dead now so she can't help him anymore... their children have to do it in her place... This whole situation makes me feel like I'm watching a bullying incident in school but being unable to do anything about it... I feel really bad. Why are these things happening to him? It'd be better for HIkaru's sake if he really IS evil and is some sort of god that drives people crazy, that's the other way this could make sense but would that be a good story? It won't be, so I don't think that's it.
By the way I've been rereading ch 1 a lot because Ai-
and if I had a gf like that who'd risk everything they had going because of their love towards me (that's EXACTLY what she's doing there) I could give my life. She's so lovely?? I'd love her with all my heart. Yeah she's hurt Hikaru so much from that lie she told him but, it was an action so full of love, I get it so well. She's that sort of character, she's the embodiment of love. So I think Mephisto must be the boyfriend's song. Ai risked everything for him, and I don't picture the guy she loved acting any different for her sake. He wouldn't have fretted over giving his own life for someone like that, in fact, he'd wish to do MORE if he could. Being the super.. timid person he used to be, he's probably been pushing himself really hard. However, I don't even know how much he's capable of doing because I feel like 'Huh..with this personality, can he really even go that far?;; CAN he actually do something for Ai in a drastic manner?;'
yeah.. this ship is stressful.. it's golden though! I just hope things get resolved somehow and soon. nervous laughter
I should go play my game too~ I wish I had several bodies, there's so many things I want to do and have to as well..!
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astraeajackson · 1 month
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hot dudes exist only in our hearts😔
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spacebubblehomebase · 6 months
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Without colors or context, this simple and stupid comic of mine feels so, so tense; It's ominous. The difference from the tone of my last doodle is low-key hilarious though. But please, *insert ace joke here* cause I swear this is nothing serious. I don't even know why I gave in so much effort or show ya'll my progress before finishing, yet here we are. -Bubbly💙
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disposal-blueeee · 1 year
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doodlesssss
scriabin belongs to zarla-s
edgar belongs to jhonen vasquez
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coquelicoq · 1 month
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me after reading four poems by internationally beloved, critically acclaimed, insanely influential 19th-century poet charles baudelaire: wow this guy's emo lol
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lala-blahblah · 19 days
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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astro-eats · 18 days
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Sigh part two cuz I did it again (tw again obviously)
my last post (the vent turning into yuri where I vent through cartoon character) was unfinished so I'm making another. Right now we left off on zooble trying to get Gangle to confess what was up with her. Ok guys :3
Gangle shifted uncomfortably in their arms. She really didn't want to talk, but zooble kept pushing.
Zooble: "Gangle?"
Gangle: "... Yeah?.."
Zooble: "You know you can tell me anything, right? We're literally dating and I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything."
Gangle: "Some things go better unspoken of..."
Zooble: "Not with me. I'm right here for when you're ready to talk... Are you ready yet?"
Gangle:."You won't judge me or get angry?"
Zooble: "I promise I wont."
Gangle sighed. This was a hard conversation to have with anyone. Especially when (worst case scenario) it could end in the two breaking up. It was just a thought though. But it still bothered Gangle that that may be a possibility.
Gangle: "I.. Ugh... I have this.. Thing..."
Zooble: "Go on.."
Gangle: "I- ugh!- I force myself to throw up! Ok?!"
Gangles body language changed. She was grabbing zoobles wrist tightly now. It was mostly to keep her grounded and comfortable. Zoobles face looked.. Concerned to say the least. They gently took her hand off of their wrist, having a lot to say.
Zooble: "Gangle. That's unhealthy. You can't do that anymore. That's really bad. That's an eating disorder. You need to stop. I- Why would you-? Why would you do that? That's honestly the stupidest thing you've ever done! You- Gangle I'm really ma- upset. I'm upset at you. Why did you do that?"
Gangle: "I.. I just..- I wanted to like.. I don't know.. I feel guilty when I eat.. Its hard to explain..!"
Zooble: "... You know.. you're beautiful. You really are. Don't do this to yourself."
Beautiful was a strong word. It could be used to describe many things. Scenery, a painting, a person, but Gangle felt the word didn't fit her. She isn't the type of person you would imagine when you imagine 'beautiful'. She was ribbons and a mask.
Gangle: "No I'm not zooble. Dont lie to me just to make me feel better."
Gangle had a serious tone. Her voice was different when she was serious.
Zooble: "Gangle."
They grabbed her 'waist' and pulled her against them. She was surprised.
Zooble: "You're beautiful."
Gangle: "But i-!"
Zooble: "You're beautiful."
Gangle: "Zooble i-!"
Zooble: "You're beautiful. You can't change my mind."
Gangle: "... Frick you..."
Zooble would have been smiling if they didn't lack a mouth. Gangle relaxed into their arms. Her favorite place. Zooble leaned down and whispered into where her ear would be.
Zooble: "You're beautiful.."
Gangle wasn't good with compliments, especially how to respond to them, but she really did appreciate it.
Ok guys I'm done cuz I'm tired so enjpy this stuff ig uh I might be getting that seasonal depression again :3 it comes when school starts :(
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magentagalaxies · 7 months
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one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)
but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:
"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"
and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"
to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.
anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this
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it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week
so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?
another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number
#i just love old gay men so much lmao#and they seem to love me (or at least the ones in the second example did lmao)#also one of the other indicators that the first guys only knew about scott's personal life from his wikipedia page#is that they assumed the last boyfriend mentioned on there was someone scott was still dating to this day#and they were like ''oh i'm so happy to hear you have (boyfriend's name)'' meanwhile scott is like ''uh sorry we broke up 21 years ago''#meanwhile i'm like SAME NUMBER OF YEARS THAT I'VE BEEN ALIVE SCOTT!!#to be fair scott hasn't had a serious long-term relationship since then so we have joked about my birth somehow being the antichrist#but just for scott thompson's romantic life. like there's some curse that scott can't be in a serious relationship until i am#which is very funny bc both of us did in fact have a date we were looking forward to when we got back from the tour#in my case mine is with a hot nonbinary person who works at the venue where scott did his boston show and that's how we met lmao#this is also why i was pissed off that my instagram locked me out bc i have hot nonbinary person's instagram but not their phone number#and i said i'd message them when i got back from the tour. which i cannot do#tempted to just message them as mouth congress (the one account i can still get into) and send them my phone number#maybe i'll do that if i don't get my instagram back by buddy's birthday#anyway maybe this is oversharing about both my love life and scott's love life but i just find it very funny#like i was never someone in high school who went on dates and gossiped about it with my friends#and now i get to have some bizarre version of that where my peer group is goddamn scott thompson????#between this and me pulling up the lowest show pic in like 2 seconds yeah maybe we are weirdly close lmao#but i wouldn't have it any other way
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triglycercule · 1 month
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ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️
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appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)
#say hi to mr. rainbow butterfly pen on the hito mania dust page. he's there to keep it flat. you get to see him as a treat#guys (in particular nobody) let me be fr. i completely came up with the jk!mtt's dynamic because i felt lonely. OK sue me#a person's allowed to project their friendship and socialization need onto their favs ok..... im lonly........#school starts soon time to die i say as i sleep peacefully in my comfy bed#I HAVEN'T DONE MY SUMMER HOMEWORK!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dust is soooo sasuke haraguchi core. he's SOOOO hito mania medicine coded. need dust content i miss him#i was giggling at jk!horror's expression in the bottom one. she is absolutely furious. the rage hidden behind that smile is comedic#this notebook paper is SO FUCKING GOOD OH GOD ITS ALL OVER THE SCREEN 🤤🤤🤤#it's so smooth to draw on i absolutely love it. and it's just soooo delectable i could eat this notebook#this is the notebook i previously mentioned. 2019 me ate this notebook up and now i am too because GODDAMN 😭😭😭#guys im so sorry i had a 4koma for the jk mtt im progress but then i decided to log onto hi3#and then i got distracted for a day. or two. or three. sowwy for not posting :3#drawing the mtt makes me :3 so bad its unreal. i only feel :3 when i see them /srs. they make me :3 they make me prrrr mrrwwwww moewwwwwrrr#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#tricule art#jk fashion au#guys would someone understand if i said that mtt was ✌️🤘🤙 coded. does someone get it. someone else HAS to understand#mtt and their random ass emojis i associate with them ✌️🤘🤙💙💜❤️✧☆♡🐱🐰🐶 UHHHHHGGHHHHthey are in everything#i forgot jk!dust's hairclips someone shoot me RIGHT NOW!#MY HANDWRITING IS SO ASS WTF#i have to add alt text just because this shit is so ass wtf i need to write properly#why is everything on paper you may ask? well its because drawing on digital is the most draining uncomfortable thing i've ever done. paper#I LITERALLY CANNOT GET USED TO DIGITAL. i just can't. i like having an ipad but i will always be better & more comfy on paper with pencil 🙁
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raymondshields · 5 months
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Man, knowing that I'm less than two weeks from my last final is really shaking me because I have so many things I said I'd do after I graduate and they're very close now!!!
One of them is going to be leaving all the discord servers I don't talk in and also pruning following / friends lists like hell and back. This will allow me to finally come off invisible on discord, and it'll be nice to have discord statuses available to me again ;~;
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spaghett-onaplate · 7 months
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sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳
#woohoo!!#some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy#some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice#honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out#but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans)#so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to--#--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them??#so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha#works in a situation like high school tbh#ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus#o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week#(recess is first and lunch is sceond)#i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice#mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow#'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim#and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch#so wahoo yippee :D#now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)
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ncityzen · 2 months
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not to sound like I'm a reader who reads ex literature student who misses uni but I actually always loved the assigned readings at school 😔
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uzu-hime · 1 year
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So like legit how does one make friends when they are
-too adhd for normal people
-too depressed for adhd people
-poor (no money to do things or go places)
-25 on the outside, single mom for 10+ years on the inside
-so so lonely but so so afraid of adding anyone else to the "only want to hang out with me when you need free therapy" group that includes everyone I know
#i want friends#but i don't know how to make them#or where to find them#im too weird for a lot of people and too introverted for others#and for some reason everyone i do befriend always ends up being basically my therapy patient#or they only ever want to hang out on their terms which... don't exist#side eyes my friend who always says 'i miss you guys we should hang out' in the group chat but then turns me down#for her boyfriend every single time i try to make plans#'he works night shift i have to clean during the day' girl are you his girlfriend or his maid??#if you don't want to hang out with me just fucking tell me instead of playing cinderella all the time#my mom says i should get out more and do more things but honestly i live in bumfuck ohio#what things????#rural america is a nightmare for being social if you don't have money and also don't want to hang out at your local high school#i can't even go to the park in town by myself because too many women have been abducted there#im not making this shit up#i just want someone to sing silly songs with me and try on stupid outfits just for fun and go to new restaurants#no one has ever heard of and sit in the woods in silence for a while and maybe take a nap together and compare grov#*grocery lists and just.#why is it so hard#what is wrong with me that the only friends i have only like me sometimes#even my mom who likes me all the time won't even go shopping with me anymore#she's too burnt out from working#maybe it's not me#maybe im just another victim of capitalist america's isolation#even then i don't know what to do about it. my cat helps but im still just. lonely.#im tired of being lonely#vent post#ignore me
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(Feel free to ignore I just need to scream into the void real quick)
Man I fucking hate the fact that people irl perceive me as a woman and the fact that if my clothing does so much as slightly show the general shape of my body then guys take that as an opportunity to harass me (thankfully it's only been verbal except that one time) and the fact that even though nothing serious happened I can't stop thinking about it and feel incredibly uncomfortable
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