#WHY ARE THERE SLOW TIGERS CHASING ME

[coelpts]

i have got to talk about my gender with more people.

[v-iv-rusty]

sucks how the brain craves even more stress after experiencing something extremely stressful

[zorosdimples]

mdni. cw: hybrids, oral fixations, spit. my (not so) long-awaited return to the tiger hybrid yuuji-verse.

Sunday afternoons are usually spent like this: lazing on the couch with your tiger hybrid, his broad frame curled around yours as he shields you from the stress of your impending work week. Your face is buried in his strong chest and his chin rests atop your head.

Yuuji chuffs in contentment when you reach up to scratch his rosy ears; the vocalization puffs against your hair as his soft tail gently bats your hip. When you try to withdraw your hand, he whines, chasing you with his nose. As you let him nuzzle into your touch, he begins lapping at your skin.

You chuckle; you’ve grown fond of his clinginess. “Hm?”

His affection dances from the center of your palm to the tip of your pointer finger, and he wraps his tongue around the digit before nipping the pad. He pulls away from your comforting scent and warmth—barely, as his breath ghosts your flesh—and his striped ears twitch.

“You know how you told me to come to you when I need anything?” Yuuji asks.

You hum. “Of course.”

“Well,” he gulps, cheeks blooming a ruddy color that matches his hair, “could you, um, play with my mouth?”

Unsure of where he’s headed with his request, you quirk an eyebrow.

“The vet said I had to stop chewing so much ice—remember?”

“Yeah. It’s bad for your teeth if you do it too often.”

He nods. “And I've chewed through all of my toys.”

“No new toys until next month, Yuu. They’re too expensive to replace on a weekly basis. Unfortunately, I’m not made of money.”

The hybrid’s ears flatten against his head. “I know. But my mouth feels so empty.” He shifts a little, now fidgeting with the fuzzy tip of his tail. “I—um, just need something to occupy it. My gums ache, and my jaw hurts because I keep clenching. I try to work everything out on my own, but I… I thought maybe you could help.”

Wide, sweet, earnest, Yuuji’s gaze is rich caramel. You feel a little flustered by his request—you aren’t exactly sure why—but you couldn’t possibly say no to him. You offer Yuuji a reassuring smile. “There’s no need for you to be embarrassed; I’m always happy to help. Now: open wide for me.”

Your willingness draws a pleased chuff from him, and he complies, baring his maw. Accentuated by glinting incisors, rows of honed teeth would be a frightening sight for an onlooker. But the hybrid would rather wither away than hurt a fly (unless the fly was trying to harm you). You begin by running a finger along his slick gums, gingerly massaging the pink tissue.

Garbled whines flutter past Yuuji’s drooling tongue; his eyes water, irises hazy with relief. By the time you reach his molars, you have to hold his tongue down with your middle and ring fingers, using your index to rub around his teeth. Spit pools at the bottom of his mouth and dribbles down his chin. A pleased sigh leaves his stretched lips, and his hips jerk forward, something firm brushing against your belly.

Blood rushes to your face. You swallow dryly, acutely aware of your intimate position. “Are you hard, Yuuji?”

The hybrid doesn’t try to deny it. “Thowy,” he pants with your fingers heavy on his tongue. Dew collects at his temples and his neck is blush. But instead of putting space between your bodies, he squirms closer—until his bulge presses against you, his syrupy gaze slowing your mind and seeping into your limbs.

Arousal knots itself deep in your core as you stare at your companion—hot, needy, eager. Against your better judgment, you grind against him. Losing focus, he roughly grabs your hips, mouth closing around your digits to lave and suck. He rolls onto his back and hoists you on top of him, angling you so that his throbbing length rubs you right where you need.

“Fuck,” you hiss, unable to do anything but roll your hips and chase pleasure. You extract your fingers from Yuuji’s mouth, cradling his burning face before melting into him, a heap of spit and teeth and tongue.

“I’m s-sorry,” he groans against your lips as he kneads your ass, tail grazing your ankle. “Gonna make it up to you—promise.”

[oepionie]

—"UNDERCOVER PRINCESS CHARMING" drabble

SYNOPSIS: MC is the elusive eldest sister of the Charming royal family. This is a secret she's kept hidden from her friends and lover at NRC. However, her efforts to keep her royal heritage under wraps all go to waste when her old friends calls her by her real last name.

⊹ [ cw ] — a fight breaks out, MC gets chased by a tiger, not proofread◞

⊹ [ tags ] — FLUFFY CRACK! female reader! rsa princes cameo hehe, the story of how MC started a flat out war against RSA and NRC, your lover can be any TWST boy◞

⊹ [ w.c ] — 500+◞ | 🦇masterlist◞

"Princess Charming! You're here!" Neige calls out gleefully, waving vehemently at you as he rushes over. A group of boys were approaching you, all clad in the respectable, pristine white uniforms of RSA.

The questioning stares of your friends dart and pierce through you, the same inquisitive expression plastered onto their faces. By your side, your lover tenses up, jaw clenching as he mistakes the boy's greeting as a sign of flirtatious affection.

"What does he mean?" He murmurs, protectively stepping closer to you as the group of handsome bright-eyed princes close in. "Why is he calling you…Princess Charming?"

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

This certainly activated your fight-or-flight instincts. Your mind was a jumble as of now and you were left unable to think of an excuse or backup plan. Holding your hand out, you tried to subtly gesture for them all to step away but they couldn't take the hint. Curse these princes and their child-like naivety.

Unfortunately, this was no time to start complaining, as the crowd just kept getting closer and closer. Neige was leading the small procession along, waving gleefully at you. Just behind him were a few familiar faces. Prince Rielle, Prince Jasmin, Allison—Every single one of your old friends was here. There was absolutely no way you could explain your way out of this one.

Flee it is!

Smiling tensely, you whip your head around and rush away, legs straining to keep up with the sudden speedy pace. Instead of giving up like you expected, it seemed as if they got even more persistent. Your false obliviousness being the match which lit up their fiery determination.

Now it wasn't only Neige calling for you. Prince Rielle furrows his brow and raises his voice, thinking you didn't hear his rosy-cheeked friend clearly. "PRINCESS CHARMING—"

"I-I think you all have the wrong person!" You scream out, almost wailing, as you break into a fast sprint. "PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Refusing to give up, the boys also start running after you, calling for you at the very top of their lungs and begging you to slow down. At the sight of your despair, your NRC friends run after the entourage.

Sure, they were extremely confused, but if your horrified expression was anything to go off of, it seemed like you weren't too keen on having these doe-eyed damsels princes follow you around.

"Rajah! Get her!" A flash of alarm strikes them when Jasmin calls for his tiger, jumping atop the beast and bolting towards your direction. Your scream was shrill and high-pitched as you ran faster, shaking your head vehemently at Jasmin who was practically breathing down your back. (It was quite amazing how you managed to outrun a tiger, he thinks.) "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Determined to protect you from any harm the RSA lunatics could send your way, a couple of your friends started to pull out their magic pens as they geared themselves up for battle.

And when Riddle activates his magic, clasping a collar tight around Allison's neck—chaos unfolds.

—EXTRA:

"My beautiful darling." Crowley wails, claws digging into his pants, tearing the fabric up as he watches a crowd of students fight and fling magical spells at each other, loud screaming coming from either side. You were in the midst of the crossfire, being forcibly pulled into the arms of one boy to another.

Crowley cries out once more, sinking to his knees.

"Oh. My beautiful darling school."

—TAGLIST:

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[libraford]

Because my husband listing all the bullshit I'm going through really helped when I was being too hard on myself a minute ago I will suggest to anyone who wants it including you to stop and actually write out all the stuff in your life stressing you out or hurting you when you start thinking you're too emotional or asking why you're crying all the time. Because it often turns out you have a lot of reasons to be feeling the way you do and I find it helpful to be reminded sometimes

Well I mean sometimes the crying just happens. There's no trigger or anything, body just says 'eeeeh, time to do that.' Slow tigers are chasing me or something. Which I think is the pmdd.

[official-lucifers-child]

very very slow tigers are chasing me so it’s time to play my favourite game, “Why Is My Heartbeat Irregular Right Now?”

[shirajellyfish]

*ahem* Err, question for the director here. How could you manage to make Lune’s “redemption” arc so slowly evolving?? It was amazing the patience you had to not jump into the “friend-shaped” zone too fast, and yet still we wound up with hugs. It made it the most delightful portrayal I’ve seen of any Moon characterization, one weighty with true danger and hard-earned love.

Awww, that makes me so happy to hear that! Thank you! There were a few factors that contributed to the way it played out, I think. Once again I'm adding a read more because I am entirely sure this one will end up far too long as well haha

I wanted to write the journey, not the destination

I think the reason a lot of Moons go friend shaped quickly is because that's what the writer wants to write. They want a Moon who is dangerous to other people maybe, but who is friend to the main character. The common DCA trope of "Watch out, it's the dangerous man-eating tiger Moon!" Y/N: "Pet pat pat, this is my cat. He literally purrs for me." This trope is lovely and absolutely one of my favorite things. If that's what a writer wants to write, then it makes sense that they'd go there as quickly as possible. I would have done the same if what I wanted to write more than anything was friend Moon.

But I wanted to write dangerous feral Moon. I was so excited for every moment where he was threatening, chasing, out of his mind and on the hunt. I cherished writing every one of those scenes, because I knew I was only going to get to write a finite amount of them. I was SO EXCITED with each and every dangerous encounter, so I did everything I could to stretch that phase of the story out as much as I could. That's why it moved slow- I was purposely slowing it down as much as I could!

The thing about writing slowburn is that it shouldn't take patience. If you have to be patient to write a slow burn, then maybe you shouldn't be writing this particular thing as a slow burn. Think of it like going down a waterslide. No one is ever on the slide like "This is such a long slide, it's a real test of my patience to get to the end of it." No, they go "YIPPEE, WATER SLIDE! YAY! YAAAAY!" A slow burn should feel like a water slide. If it doesn't, then maybe the story would be more enjoyable if the characters were just at their destination already instead of spending so much time getting there.

2. A Moon can only be scary for so long.

You know how I said I tried to slow things down on purpose? It's because even the most dangerous and most feral of Moons can only be an exciting threat so many times. The more the story deals with a dangerous character, the more known they are. Like turning on the lights in a dark room, eventually the monster under the bed will cease to be scary. You only have so many of these really thrilling moments before either things will change, or the readers end up going "Oh, it's just another Moon encounter. He'll chase them around for a while before we can get back to the actual story, I guess."

With a fic as long as I See You Sundrop, ending at hugs with Lune was inevitable. I squeezed his character for every exciting scary moment I could, but eventually that relationship was going to have to develop beyond those moments one way or another.

It's not that I don't enjoy writing a softer friend Lune as well. I absolutely loved every moment of that as well- I wouldn't have written it if I didn't love writing it! But there was no possible universe where Lune, no matter how scary at the start, wouldn't develop eventually. Because of this, I was careful with the early Lune encounters and used him as sparingly as possible.

3. I didn't plan it whatsoever.

My secret to character development is that I just. Don't plan it. At all.

Somewhere near the start of the fic, I had an idea for a scene where Riley and Lune could share music with each other without it ending in violence. This general vague concept was reworked into the Closeted chapter and expanded there. This was also the only destination of any kind for them that I had planned.

I didn't write any of Lune's moments with the intention of reaching any kind of end-of-story relationship goal. I just wrote him. While Lune becoming friendly was inevitable, how friendly or what that friendship would look like was never something I was actively working towards. I just let it go and watched what happened, nothing was set in stone.

I put some beasts in a situation. I wonder, what would they do in said situation? I have them do it. Now I wonder, how does that change things between them? Now things have changed. Now the entire course of these characters, and their relationships, and the story itself has changed. This is why I can't write scenes out of order. Every single moment, every interaction, all of it causes everything to shift. I can think of certain plot ideas or big moments in advance, but I won't know how the characters will react to that until I get there- because I won't know who they will be at that point in the story until I get there.

This applies to every single character in my fic. Riley and Sundrop's friendship, Hunter, Natalie, the glamrocks... I knew what I wanted their role to be in certain scenes or the story overall, but I had no big plan for where their development would take them. None of their development was ever set in stone.

I've mentioned before that Take-you-apart was not a planned chapter, it was the result of asking Roxy what she'd do and realizing her answer was "attempted murder." A lot of story moments happened like that. Affection Values even happened that way. I'd never planned for the story to have a scene like that, but when I got there I went "Ohh. That makes sense, doesn't it."

Even Riley's big development moments were done this way. Play nice with your hands, be a good friend, the memory trick, even their relationship with their mom all developed in ways I hadn't planned. I actually wrote their mother as distant because originally, my plan was to give myself an excuse to never write about their family at all! You can see how fast that got thrown out the window.

Speaking of things I can't do- this is also why I write my entire fic before posting anything, and can't post chapter by chapter. Sometimes writing this way leaves glaring plot holes, big themes that aren't worked into the story early enough, and foreshadowing for events that never end up actually happening. I need to know the course of the story before I can refine it, and I won't know it until I get there.

Oops! That did indeed end up getting very long. I hope you were looking for a novel length ramble, because I guess I'm not capable of anything else haha.

[phlurrii]

I cannot sleep and I am curious about your take on this random conundrum I am faced with that I was wondering your take on because I love how you are able to depict dynamic movement and action in your art and animations.

So, I absolutely LOVE it when the typically cutesy being that is Mew is depicted as a feral godly beast and I am so utterly in love with Meau’s truly powerful design. An absolute apex predator. However, my brain is hung up on a frustrating detail. If they weren’t floating everywhere all the time how would they like… prowl? Or chase down something. They’ve got these nubby little arms and these looooong legs.

Like. I’m trying SO hard to imagine something that could anatomically work because as eery as floating can be there’s something satisfying about feeling in the weight of a creature through its gait. But all I can picture with their body shape is…hopping. Just a murderous psychic kangaroo cat god bounding towards something but like…It’s kind of silly? I’m sure irl that would probably be absolutely terrifying to see a kangaroo bouncing at you with malicious intent but… it’s hard to picture it as an intimidating movement.

The slow predatory prowl or the fast thumps of heavy clawed paws of something huge and large sharp teeth that quadrupeds have is so a satisfying in a heart racing way. I WANT a Mew or Mew-ish creature to be able to have that vibe while connected to the earth that but then I look at those LONG footers and nub paws and I…I’m left feeling like it’s not possible.

Even for Meau like…their arm to leg ratio…I don’t think it’s possible to run on all 4s. Naruto-run sure. Absolutely. All the mews and twos can Naruto run and kangaroo-hop with them leggies…but none of them move with the “tiger on the hunt in the forest” vibes. I want to make something close to that but I keep making something too permanently quadrupedal in anatomy.

Sorry for the tired brain rambling I just my brain won’t let me sleep because of it’s “How would Meau run down their prey on foot” thoughts sending me in a spiral.

You see- you see, I have the same. Exact, brain worms. Constantly.

When I made the Ancient mew, I wanted something feral, a physical threat. That happens to be psychically able to obliterate you as a side treat. In my earliest comics, I tried so hard to demonstrate she was a power house, so much so her mega evolution is entirely just… that. A massive, wall of steel. Meau tore those scientists limb from limb, literally, with her jaw. Even in mew form, she bitch slapped a nidoking with her tail and kangaroo kicked a persian. She could’ve just shadowballed them, sure, but I want that weight. That feral energy, that sense of an unstoppable force, meeting an immovable object, except it’s just one cat and they are about to flatten you.

As her design has clearly evolved, I’ve tried to make alterations that fit this feeling, that vibe of apex predator no matter the size. She’s larger then average because she’s a threat, she’s more muscular because she’s a threat, her tail is thicker, packed with said muscle because she’s a threat, her front paws are meaty and girthy because She’s. A. Threat. Her entire mega evolution is just amping up that primal energy of raw, unadulterated strength. That’s why I made it, it was my first freaking thought after I designed her XD

I was actually caught between animating a younger Meau acting like a mew or an current Meau acting like a threat. I went with younger Meau cuz we don’t see a lot of her and she’s about to come up with Noe’s arc. So if you sent me this lovely and viciously relatable brain dump 3 days ago, I probably would’ve swayed to animate feral meau XD

But, to answer your question, yes. She can absolutely hunt you down on all fours and disembowel you with her jaw, she is that untamed, wild concentration that kills with a sleek efficiency fellow gods fear. And! At the end of our current arc we’ll finally get that secondary typing reveal I’ve had planned since April XD

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

Maze runner chapter three

Newt x fem reader

Slow burn

Some slight changes

Movie only.

Previous part.

"Wicked is good” you hear the voice repeat again and shoot up in your bed, chest heaving with heavy breaths.

“Hey, hey, what's up?” Newt says sleepily reaching out for you.

“A dream, a nightmare I think.” Mai Mai stirred beside you.

“Hey come here, come on lay down y/n.” You turn back to him and shuffle closer to him. You had made a sort of bed out of wood and sheets instead of using hammocks. Though you and Newt normally slept under separate blankets you slid below his and let him pull you into a hug. He smoothed back your hair back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He whispered. You shake your head and muzzle against his neck. In his arms you felt safe, you always have done. A long time ago maybe around the thirteenth month one of the boys had become angry. Through fear. He started attacking people for no reason and one day he attacked you. You had never seen so much anger in a person's face and he was taking it out on you. Of course Mai Mai had sprung into action and was pulling at the boys leg. Newt had dragged you away and tended to the cut on your arm. That was when Mai Mai fully began to trust Newt. She no longer eyed him when he sat beside you.

Wrapped in his warmth you fell back to sleep.

When you finally woke up again the sun had begun to rise outside and you slid out of Newt's arms and wander outside. Mai Mai stays behind. You see Alby walking over to Thomas and he beckons you over to him. He puts his hand over Thomas's mouth and gently wakes him.

“Shh. Follow us” he whispers. Thomas jumps to pull on his shoes as fast as he can to follow you both.

“It's peaceful, isn't it?” You say.

“I know it's hard to believe, but it wasn't always this way. We had dark days. We lost a lot of boys to fear. To panic.” He gives you a sad smile, “We've come far since then.

Established order, made peace.” He continued.

“Yeah. Why are you telling me this?” Thomas asked.

“Because you're not like the others.” Alby says.

“You're curious. But you're one of us now.” You say leaning your shoulder against the wall.

“You need to know what that means.” Alby pressed his knife onto Thomas's hand and gestured for him to start carving his name.

“What happened to them?” He asked pointing at the crossed out names.

“Like I said dark days,Thomas.” Alby repeated.

Later in the day you were working the plants growing around with Newt nearby. Mai Mai was chasing a butterfly.

“Has anyone tried climbing to the top?” Thomas asked sitting not too far from Newt.

“Tried it. The ivy doesn't go all the way to the top. And besides, where are you gonna go from there?” Newt says.

“And what about the Box? You know, next time it comes up-”Thomas said

“No, we tried that. The Box won't go back

down with someone in it.” Newt sighed.

“Okay, what if we-” newt cuts Thomas off, “No, we tried it, all right? Twice. All right? Trust me. Anything you think of, we've already tried. The only way out of here is through the maze. Now, look, you wanna be helpful?Here. Go dig us up some more fertilizer.” Newt dropped a bucket at Thomas's feet.

Not too long afterward you heard a commotion coming out of the trees. Thomas comes running out with Ben hot on his heels. The two of them stumble to the ground and Ben is lashing out. Your heart drops when. You see the black tar like substance dripping from Ben's mouth.

“Mai Mai!” You shout and the tiger leaps up into action. She knocks Ben back and holds him down. He struggles against her and it takes the weight of three other boys to help the tiger hold him still.

You help Thomas to his feet.

“What the hell happened?” Newt asked.

“He just attacked me.” Thomas panted.

“He's been stung.” You say and tear drops from your eye.

“Lift his shirt.” Alby commands and Mai Mai takes a step back so Gally can lift Ben's shirt up, there in his stomach is a large hole, black filling the veins around it. Ben pleeds with them for help but Alby commands he be taken to the pit. Mai Mai moves back to your side as Newt pulls you into a hug. You had always thought of Ben as brother not just a friend.

“Come on y/n” he tugs you along with him.

A little while later Alby sits down beside Thomas.

“what happened to him?” Thomas asked.

“It's called "The Changing." It's what happens

when someone gets stung.” Alby explained, “Listen. We haven't been able to get a clear word out of Ben since it happened. He's not making any sense. And it's only gonna get worse. The infection is spreading.He's dangerous. What did he say to you? Thomas thinks for a moment.

“He said he saw me...and that this was all my fault. How could this be my fault?”

Alby didn't have an answer for him so they say in silence for a minute. Thomas caught sight of you and Mai Mai not too far away.

“What's with the tiger?” He asks. Alby laughed.

“Came up with y/n on day two. They've irresepable ever since.”

“Y/n seems nice.”

Ably laughed again and clapped Thomas on the back, “Don't even think about it, green bean. Newt would kill you.”

“Are they together?”

“Not officially, Get some rest.” Alby says standing back up and walking away.

“Alby What's gonna happen to him?” Thomas asks.

He doesn't have to wait long, most of the boys had gathered around the maze entrance, each of them holding long poles. Minho was guiding Ben between them to the entrance. He made Ben kneel and cut the ties that held him.

Ben begged everyone to not do it. You stand there trying to keep your emotions inside as they throw a bag of food into the maze and using the poles push Ben out as the doors begin to close. You grab Chucks hand and walk away with him.

The boys all place their poles against the entrance doors and walk away a Solemn air falling over them all.

Next part

Please do comment and let me know what you think all critiques welcomed. Thank you for reading.

@fandomfan-102 @deanstolemydragon @afalls14universe

[the-music-maniac]

It is so rare for me to genuinely enjoy the way a cdrama straight romance is being written, so I'm holding onto these two and never letting go - y'all I'm only on episode 9 rn and I'm writing this based on what I've seen of 9 episodes but if Tantai Jin and Ye Xiwu don't get a happy ending I will actually be SO fucking upset.

And I've been sitting here and thinking about why these two hit so different for me, when I've sat through countless other heterosexual cdramas with my mom and have been unable to get invested in any of them (I got invested in danmei shows but never straight romances purely because of the way they were written) and I have a couple reasons. And because this show has eaten my brain I'm gonna talk about it and write a fucking love letter to the one show that has made me FEEL SOMETHING ABOUT THE MAIN COUPLE SINCE FOREVER.

1. This is a legitimate enemies to lovers plotline:

Like I've noticed with cdramas that are not danmei - when they write "enemies to lovers"? It's never legitimately enemies to lovers. Either the reason for being enemies is really shallow and easily solved, or only one side hates the other, or - my least favourite - they start off as genuinely enemies for a legit reason but then the guy falls in love super damn quickly at the first sign of the girl being nice and the rest of the drama is spent with the guy desperately chasing the girl while the girl is ambiguous to him before slowly falling in love. Hah? Ey why did he fall in love so quickly, huh? I thought the reasons he hated her were real and legitimate (I'm looking at you Romance of Tiger and Rose)?

This drama is genuinely attempting an enemies to lovers relationship. Like Ye Xiwu has a super legit reason to despise Tantai Jin and the same vice versa. Ye Xiwu knows Tantai Jin kills all the people she loves in the future - and yet this man is not quite that person yet, hasn't done much wrong at this point. And meanwhile Tantai Jin knows Ye Xiwu as just another one of his abusers, one he's married to - but little does he know that this Ye Xiwu isn't that person anymore. Basically, they have legitimate dislike for each other in the beginning. They don't fall in love at the first sign of the other person being not like they thought they were - as they SHOULDN'T, it wouldn't make sense. Instead they're slowly getting to know each other. And they repeatedly look out for each other in the beginning but it's clear that the motivation is not love. And even as we go, you can see that they're starting to realize that the other person might be someone worth knowing but they still don't TRUST each other. And fuck that slow burn is SO GOOD and is what's missing in so many cdramas. Even when Ye Xiwu makes up that excuse for why she keeps saving Tantai Jin, that she "likes him" - you can see that Tantai Jin is taken aback in a good way but still doesn't trust it. And meanwhile Ye Xiwu is fully aware of her real goal. Like that?? That's my fucking shit. It doesn't make sense for them to trust each other that quickly and the slow development of it is what I live for.

2. Minimal fanservice scenes that make no sense - maximal scenes that progress the relationship.

I'm gonna use the scene in episode 3 as an example - that moment when Ye Xiwu touches the flowers and gets blasted in the face with the powder and Tantai Jin runs forward to steady her. They were standing next to each other, so the show totally could've gotten away with one of them landing on the other, and another fanservice cdrama would have done that and used it as a way for them to wake up in a romantic situation. But no, in this one they someone landed APART despite the fact that one of them had his arms around the other, and the resulting camera shot was sO DAMN COOL. And the moment when Ye Xiwu fell back, it wasn't some dramatic swooning into Tantai Jin's arms. And then they both faceplanted. We love gender equality LMAO. But that's what I'm talking about, this show knows to pick it's moments. It's aware that now is not the time for a scene like that, and the lack of jarring fanservice scenes that don't fit with the vibe and tension of the moment is so refreshing. And the short fanservice romantic moments that do happen?? Goosebumps. Like for example when the flower demon realized Ye Xiwu was trying to rescue Tantai Jin and said "together then" and pulled Ye Xiwu up into the swirling thing - and they were face to face with the soundtrack swelling. Short and sweet, and both of them look suitably surprised - y'all I loved it.

3. The respect this show affords the female characters.

This shouldn't be a rare thing. IT REALLY SHOULDN'T. But the amount of cdramas where the main female lead acts all dumb and cute to endear herself to the "bad boy" male lead, and y'know what I shouldn't say act because half the time the female lead is GENUINELY DUMB - and keeps getting into deep shit so the man has to go rescue her.

Or THE ONE I HATE THE MOST, the main female lead is a competent, intelligent character that's super powerful, and then somehow loses all her braincells and ability the minute she meets the male lead because the plot needs a way for the male lead to repeatedly save her as a romantic trope. The shows that think that they can't write a romance when the female lead is on equal or higher standing then the male lead in terms of skill or intelligence. Leave. Leave immediately.

This show?? Nah. No Ye Xiwu is just as smart as she was at the beginning of the show, and even though her magic is greatly diminished she's still able to strategize and use it effectively. She's a match for Tantai Jin in terms of intelligence and ability and WHY IS THAT SO RARE TO SEE IS IT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR. And just - this is such a small nitpicky detail but the way Ye Xiwu doesn't shy away from nudity or the implication of taking off clothes - WHICH MAKES SENSE CAUSE SHE'S LITERALLY A DEITY like WHY would she be worried about shit like that? The amount of times I've seen female characters who really shouldn't be iffy about nudity shriek and yell when that stuff comes up *screams in frustration*. No but fuck I love Ye Xiwu so much, Tantai Jin went "you wanna search me? Why not get me to take off all my clothes" expecting her to chicken out and this queen looked him dead in the eyeballs and went "do you think that's a hardship" and then sat down on the bed and waited like "bet". AMAZING.

Not only that, the other female characters are afforded a lot of that same respect in the way they're written - the female assistant isn't treated as dumb comedic relief, the kind sister isn't treated as frail even though her initial scenes was about her getting sick from falling in a lake - honestly so far, up to the amount of episodes I've seen there isn't a single female character that's airheaded in that cutesy way I absolutely hate. They're different personalities, different ability levels, different intelligence levels but they're all afforded the same amount of agency as any male character in the show. And fuck, the scene in the flashback with Tantai Jin's mother? First off, I'm weary anytime they touch on tribal stuff in cdramas because sometimes it's some racist bullshit about them being brutes blah blah blah, but while I don't know if this show was accurate in the clothing or demeanor, they depict them in a very positive way - two, there's something so powerful and freeing about seeing her stride down that aisle on her own, head held high, raising her arms up to greet the emperor. They're meeting on equal terms. It was beautifully done. Basically I'm in love with the way they wrote these female characters.

4. The romantic tropes that do occur don't shove gender roles down my throat.

I feel like this is self explanatory, but one thing I've noticed is that cdrama romantic tropes seem to enforce gender roles, to the point where it no longer makes sense in the plot. Like oh this girl is super powerful? Irrelevant she still has to swoon into the man's arms. Man is the breadwinner, is the protective one, the one who gets jealous. Woman is the mediator, is the kind one, the one to be admired for beauty. I am tired. I'm BORED actually? Like I have nothing against people liking those tropes because yeah, they exist for a reason people obviously like them and it's so valid. It's not like I don't get the appeal of swooning into your partners arms. But if it's the ONLY THING you ever see? If the tropes start piling up so that the female character can only ever be soft and feminine and the male character can only ever be strong and masculine, I stop seeing them as individuals, as characters. They're now a caricature of what society thinks men and women should be. They stop having a face. And once they cease being individual characters in my mind, I lose interest.

I like the way this show handles the romantic tropes, because at the beginning it really doesn't make sense for Ye Xiwu to need saving - she's in a safe home and she has more power then Tantai Jin in terms of social standing - and even if she did need saving Tantai Jin for sure wouldn't do it LMAO AS WE SEE WITH THE LAKE THING PFFT 🤣🤣

No but because it doesn't make sense for plot - Tantai Jin is the one being repeatedly rescued even though it's not a role the male lead usually takes in these tropes. And Ye Xiwu does it in a very "swooping in like a cool male lead" type of way. Like when she shoved her brother back after he slashed Tantai Jin's robes? Damn. I'm so gay wtf. Also buying new robes for Tantai Jin *cough* sugar daddy *cough*.

And meanwhile Tantai Jin is allowed to be withdrawn and soft and quiet and still vicious and super competent but in a sassy, bitchy way. My god I love him. He's my babygirl. His little smirk after he roasts someone. I'm so bisexual actually, fuck. Both of them can just step on me But basically neither of them are 100% one or the other - not 100% masculine or feminine gender roles, it's a changing dynamic and it makes them seem like real people.

????. What number is this??? Uh

5. I think. I'm not gonna scroll up. Anyways um.

The SHOTS. The SOUNDTRACK. The CINEMATOGRAPHY.

Beyond the fact that the CGI in this show actually looks passable cause i'm sure they had a bigger budget then some danmei shows i've seen, but HOW did they inject so much bittersweet nostalgia and loss into the flashback wedding scene? That moment when Ye Xiwu runs for Tantai Jin with a sword in hand to kill the birds, her robes flowing out behind her? The demon's garden??? Tantai Jin's bitchy glittery sparkly murder hanfu??? The winter scenery, the winter cloaks, i'm just. THE HIGH PONYTAILS. MAN ARE THEY INCONVENIENT WHEN THEY SWISH AROUND BUT I STILL LOVE THEM.

Also Ye Xiwu's headdress is beautiful and fully INDESTRUCTIBLE 🤣🤣 and I love it.

I, no joke, rewatched that flashback wedding scene no less then seven times, cause I just find it that well done.

Anyways I don't have much to say here everything is just gorgeous.

6. NO FUCKING LOVE TRIANGLES (SO FAR)

Let's hope it stays that way. That is all

This is getting way too long so Imma end it here. Thanks for reading!

[xbalayage]

"Did you lie to me?" - with any suitor ;3c

Thank you for the ask. <3 I decided on Gilbert because I've seen the fanart of him with your OC. It's my first attempt at him, so I hope he's not too cliche.

Gilbert/Reader

WC: 509

Oh how you hated this cat and mouse game he'd love to play, yet he found it utterly riveting. Toying with you like you were a delicious meal to be devoured on a silver plate for his own pleasure and amusement. Every ounce of a reaction you bestowed for his all seeing eye made the chase all the more thrilling for him. He moved like the shadows, leaving an eerie echo of a cane hitting the floor in his wake. He never allowed you to see the cards he had in play. Gilbert would always be five steps ahead. That's why even when you ran, he didn't chase. There was no need, for you see, he had eyes everywhere. You were in his domain. Eventually, you'd run yourself ragged at a dead end or a secluded corner of the palace. But where your racing mind left you was the perfect little trap for the little rabbit. The library; one way in, no way out. Sometimes the waiting game was worth the wait. The stalking predator narrowed his deep hued eye. A feast with the unrelenting patience to feed; prey always tasted better with the fear of adrenaline rushing through their veins moments before their heart reached its end. He found you frozen in place, dumbstruck written on your features. Once your frantic gaze noticed the tiger, you sought out an escape route, his carefree smile grew; his body sheltering the only exit with the presence of his domineering form. "Found you little rabbit. Heehee, thought you could get away from me so easily?" The door shuts behind him, the locking of it lingered in your mind; you're trapped in here, with him. The realization hit you like a train as he stalked towards you agonizingly slow. The sound of your heart wildly thumping out of your chest, reverberating in your ears and you almost swear that he could hear it too by the easy, intimidating look from his stare. He enjoys this. The music of danger decided to crescendo, the tapping of that damn cane; the stillness of the room begins to pan in, his approaching body seemed to have the shadows follow as the room grew as grim, cold and dark as the night. The only remaining light, the soft flicker of a dying flame of a candle caresses his features. Was it the fear messing with your mind? His eye almost seemed to glow. And now, he had you pinned against a desk, gloved hands slammed themselves passed your hips onto the furniture behind, stationing you into place. He leaned in, his hot breath grazed the shell of your ear. You were a deer in headlights; you couldn't react or respond. "When I hear the sound of your heart--your life so close, I can hardly bare it. Hmm? Did you lie to me? Your eyes don't sing the same tune your heart is. I hope you've learned a thing or two about me; I despise liars. Yet, your body is so honest. Heehee, surrender yourself to me."

taglist; @nightghoul381, @yvelk, @drachonia

[tiedyeflannels]

Adventure of a Lifetime

Kim Taehyung x reader

Chapter 5 | Masterlist

A/N: Hi! I think we're 1/3 or almost half of the way done with this series! Thank you for sticking around to see how this story unfolds and as always, I hope you enjoy!

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! These are great pictures,” Taehyung smiled.

“Absolutely not! I wasn’t even looking in this one,” I fought back as I looked through the pictures he had taken of me at the gardens and art gallery while we were in line, waiting for our turn to get on the carousel.

“You get the best pictures when you’re not looking. Just living in the moment,” he explained happily.

“Okay,” I said as I swiped through more pictures and wound up on a string of blurry ones.

“And what about these? Why are they blurry,” I asked, looking over at him.

He chuckled while looking over my shoulder, down at my phone.

“I was running away because you were chasing me when you remembered that I still had your phone after the art gallery.”

I playfully huffed as I kept swiping before landing on a blurry selfie of Taehyung looking down at the phone with a big smile.

We laughed at the silly image.

“Ooh! Go to the next one,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder and pointing at the phone.

Doing as he said, I swiped to the next picture just to find yet another blurry image.

This time it’s a high selfie that showed me running after Taehyung with my arm extended, trying to catch him while we were laughing.

“You’re kidding me,” I laughed and continued to look through the picture before the carousel worker started to usher people onto the ride.

Putting my phone away, we walked through the gate and onto the ride. 

It looked beautiful. The lights at night gave it such a calming ambience, making everything on the carousel look like something out of a fantasy. I looked around the ride to see which seat I wanted to sit on.

Walking around, there were horses, bunnies, swans, carriage carts for two people.

You know.

The works.

But then my eyes fell upon a beautiful white horse with bows in its mane and intricate designs decorating the saddle.

I got excited at the sight of it and hurriedly started pushing Taehyung in that direction so no one else could get it.

“Come on! Come on! Hurry,” I rushed, making him chuckle and look back at me over his shoulder.

We finally got to the horse- no thanks to Taehyung- and I happily giggled as I threw my leg over to get on.

The carousel whirled to life and slowly started to turn, prompting me to take out my phone and open the camera. I looked back at Taehyung and hurriedly patted the animal seat next to me.

“Hurry! I wanna take a picture!”

“Okay, okay!”

I held up the phone as he settled on the seat.

Once he was ready and looking at the camera, I joyfully held up a peace sign as he held a cool pose with a peace sign over his right eye. I quickly snapped the picture and went to look at it when I realized something.

“You’re riding a tiger,” I exclaimed as I whipped my head to look at him and the tiger he was sitting on. 

He smiled and gently pet the top of its head before looking back at me.

“It suits me, doesn’t it,” he asked before he held up his hand and did a small “rawr” with the accompanying hand movement.

“Absolutely,” I said before we dissolved into a fit of laughter.

As we calmed down, I looked out at the crowd and smiled. I started happily waving at whoever I saw as the ride spun around.

“What are you doing,” Taehyung chuckled.

I looked over at him, but didn’t stop waving, “Waving! Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do while riding a carousel?” 

He shrugged and started to wave at the passersby with me.

After a few moments of looking at the people surrounding the ride, I spotted Y/s/n and Jeong-Gyu standing at the barrier.

“Guys,” I exclaimed as I happily waved at them, making them wave back.

Soon enough, the carousel started to slow down and stopped, letting us know that it was time to get off. I hopped off the horse, patting its head while I waited for Taehyung to get off of the tiger before stepping off the ride and walked out of the gate.

“So… how was it,” Taehyung asked as we walked over to where our siblings were.

“It was amazing! I haven't been on one since I was little. I’ve missed it,” I happily smiled at Taehyung, to which he reciprocated the smile.

We finally met up with the other two and started walking toward an open part of the park where we would get to see the fireworks better.

“How was the rest of your day, you guys,” Jeong-Gyu asked us.

We looked at each other, then back at Jeong-Gyu. “It was great,” we both answered at the same time.

I quietly chuckled as we stopped under a few trees, “It was wonderful! How was your day? How were the rides?”

“They were great! Jeong-Gyu looked like he was going to throw up when we went on the spinning ride,” Y/s/n answered, laughing at the way Jeong-Gyu rolled his eyes. 

“I thought I was going to die,” he exclaimed and they both started lightheartedly bickering.

We were laughing at the sight as a breeze shook the leaves on the trees, making my shiver slightly. I took my phone out from my back pocket and checked the time.

“8 o’clock. They should be starting soon,” I muttered under my breath, turning off my phone and tucking it into my back pocket once more. 

Another breeze raked through the trees prompting me to rub my arms to try to warm me up.

Just then, a whistle sound could be heard in the distance making all of us look at the sky right before a colorful explosion erupted in the sky.

‘Ooh’s and ‘aah’s could be heard in the crowd, everything a pretty firework lit up the sky.

As I continued to watch them, I almost forgot that I was cold, but soon I felt something drape over my shoulders effectively stopping the wind.

I looked down at the jacket then over to Taehyung, who just slid his hands into his back pockets and continued to watch the fireworks.

I smiled at his sweet gesture before going back to watching the fireworks and slightly pulling the jacket closer every time a breeze ran through.

“Oh guys! Let’s take a picture,” Y/s/n said and pulled out her phone so we could take a group selfie.

We all smiled at the camera when she counted down and took a picture as another firework lit up the night.

Taglist:

Chapter 6

@maple-leaves-in-the-wind

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

Me: wow the slow tigers have been chasing me all day and it really sucks and I have no idea why

Me: at least its bedtime soon and my brain can relax

Brain: hey so

Brain: how about some of that. Dysmorphia 👀

Me: >:C

[isleofair]

i might be a little late but for the t&b ask game: 6 & 1 :D !!

Waaahhh, it's never too late for a T&B ask, thank you so much!!! 😍

6. Top three favourite episodes of season 1 (and why if you want)

Oooh. One of them is definitely episode 17. I love the slow, quiet look into Kotetsu and his life choices, and the scene where he rescues Kaede is just super cool and super sweet and super beautiful. 💚

Then there's episode 15, which has a cool battle, sneakily introduces the "dragon" to the final villain of the season while seeming like a one-off episode, and most of all, obviously, shows us all the softer (in every sense of the world) sides of Keith. 🥺

And then I'm going to cheat a little here and say episodes 6&7 together, since they're kiiind of a two-parter. They're the closest thing we have in S1 to a Nathan spotlight episode, sure, but they are also the ones where things get real, introducing Lunatic and most of all revealing Barnaby's full backstory and trauma. And the scene in episode 7 where Bunny chases Lunatic across the bridge to Stern Medaille has some of the coolest visuals of the entire season, and I love it to pieces. 💓

1. Who is your favourite character and why

Oh gosh. I've already gushed about Nathan in the "top 3 characters" question here, but fear not, I will never run out of reasons to love her, so here's a few more.

(Look at her, isn't she gorgeous? 💖)

Nathan may initially look like a superficial, brash character, with a temper to boot, but is actually very sensitive and extremely kind, with a sweet side that's a mile wide.

Nathan is a very successful person, especially as a business owner, so you'd think they'd be driven by ambition, but when asked what their dreams for the future are, she answers that yes, she'd like to increase company profits... to help disadvantaged children even more, and that she wants to make a family with a lover. 🥺

Nathan helped me fully embrace my love of the color pink, which I used to hate as a kid, because I despised everything that was too typically "girly" (we'll psychoanalyse me another day). Now pink things give me complete joy, to the point that I have my hair dyed the same color as hers.

And speaking of the color pink... the whole thing with the rose petals in The Rising. Just... every single thing about it, its meaning, the way it was handled, the utter beauty of that scene and everything it says about her.

I'll think about it forever. 🩷

(The Tiger & Bunny ask game!)

[figitorynonsense]

i present:

figitorynonsense goes on a ramble about a random rescue bots AU she thought of in the car on the way to chinese school

sososo… idk if anyone has done this yet but Predacons and Maximals [from TFBW] in Rescue Bots….. and then eventually all teams get like a speciality weapon due to some glitch in time monster that awakens and caused this and so happens to lead the rescue bots towards the animalistic forms direction [more, MORE!!!] and the maximals + predacons to the vehicular forms direction

this sounds stupid and all but its mostly self indulgement

anyways here comes the big part

AKA what animals would the rescue bots take on???????

[ill explain the maxims and predas later]

Chase-

ok wow but

theres alotttttaaaaaaa options here im think

at first i thought a cat bcuz… aloof and CAT but thats not really fit for fighting a gargantuan rip in space-time continuum being

and then those big ass cats [lions… lynxes… leopards…]

yea maybe but they just didnt fit

so i resorted to fish bcuz they’re the silliest, goofiest and most non-caring things i know

but i dont think anything i thought of sufficed so why not just…

POISON DART FROG.

hes a poison dart frog, a bleu one and also bigger bcuz wtf why not

frogs r pretty chill and usually harmless

but poisom dart frogs honestly kinda scary ngl

so hes got poison lightning now!!!! yay!!!!!

picture upcoming…

Heatwave-

this cant be that hard right…

so

At first im thinking

“wow maybez tiger or the silly crocks…”

maybe i should have stuck with that but idk a great white shark kinda appealed to me…

or maybe a king cobra

idk im thinking off the top of my big ass head rn

yea

actually maybe a grizzli bear

nah nevermind im sticking with the tiger

bengal tiger

ok i shoullldddd have maybe perhaps sticked with siberian tiger but c’mon… hes a rescue bot…

but then again they’re against a wormhole in time so idfk anymore

Blades-

idk uh

i could go for a mockingbird or an owl but they aint exactly the biggest hunter

and then i just remembered “SkyHawk” so LMAOOOOO

Ferruginous Hawk

yay

theyre apparently pretty social so hurray

[feel free to correct me on these…..]

[damn how do yall write long ass shit?? keep on going on the wrong areas SMH

Boulder-

ok maybe my first thought shouldnt have been a tortoise but

makes senze…

however i think boulder is the only one eligible for the hipp o

im not calling him fat

im not calling him slow

it just fits him

.

.

.

ok maybe i should reconsider —

ill leave this up for discussion:

Galapagos Tortoise,

Hippopotamuses,

Or Manatee [dont ask where this came from]

shit i just ran out of orange juice

ok im done here for now byeeeeeeee

[mywifeleftme]

240: Various Artists // The Golden Turkey Album: The Best Songs from the Worst Movies

The Golden Turkey Album: The Best Songs from the Worst Movies Various Artists 1985, Rhino

Early Rhino Records was a grand old place for musical perverts thanks to its steady stream of novelty compilations like the Dr. Demento albums and Teenage Tragedy, which collected ‘50s and ‘60s songs about kids dying in automobile accidents (there were a lot of those, it turns out). The Golden Turkey Album: The Best Songs from the Worst Movies is from square in the label’s whacko prime and it’s exactly what it says on the label. These 16 tracks culled from trashy exploitation films like Eegah! (1962), Rat Pfink a Boo Boo (1964), and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) range from Confederate bluegrass to saloon music performed by a group of little people, though the majority are cornball rock ‘n’ roll numbers. On balance, it’s a highly listenable record, full of amateurish, nakedly trend-chasing but ultimately charming recordings that spark the same bewildered laughter as the films from which they derive.

As we march through the tracklist, remember at all times that I am sitting alone on the couch in my apartment wearing a frayed housecoat. Okay, let’s go.

Side One

Trevor Duncan — “Grip of the Law”

Side one opens, as indeed it must, with the blaring opening title theme from Ed Wood’s deathless groaner Plan Nine From Outer Space (1959). Duncan, an Englishman, was a prolific composer for film and television, but “Grip of the Law” wasn’t written for Wood’s opus, which lacked the budget to commission an original score. Duncan’s piece rather was cribbed for the film by one of Wood’s collaborators—which explains why in contrast to everything else about the film, it’s a perfectly competent piece of bombastic orchestral horror/thriller music

The Five Blobs — “Beware of the Blob”

1958’s Steve McQueen vehicle The Blob tracks the very, very slow slugtrail of destruction wrought by a ball of alien red Jell-O, and it’s probably fair to say it peaks with its opening credits and this incongruous “Tequila”/cocktail music-esque number penned by a young Burt Bacharach and Mack David (the elder brother of Burt's future writing partner Hal David). It doesn’t rise to the level of a good Esquivel! track, let alone Bacharach’s own later work, but it’s very dumb and goes on my Halloween playlist every year.

Arch Hall Jr. — “Valerie”

The first of three Arch Hall Jr. tracks on the compilation, which tells you the Rhino guys figured they had a little find on their hands. Hall Jr. was a genuinely talented singer and guitarist with an enormous dome who resembled Jesse Plemons (Todd Alquist from Breaking Bad) or perhaps a wax museum James Cagney. His father, filmmaker Arch Hall Sr., clearly hoped to turn the 16-year-old into an Elvis Presley-esque acting and singing double threat, and featured him in a series of screamingly bad early ‘60s B-movies. “Valerie” is a twinkling, whistling ballad drawn from 1962’s Eegah!, a film which sees the 7’2 Richard Kiel (later Jaws in the James Bond series) as a horny caveman who wants to rail a teenage girl named Roxie whom Hall Jr.’s character is dating. As someone who loves sock-hop dream music and throwing metaphors in a blender (“vitamins are good they say / and so’s a calorie / but I feel like a tiger / on one kiss from Valerie”), I think this one’s pretty great!

Carol Kay & the Stone Tones — “Shook Out of Shape”

Coming in hot from The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (1964), billed as “The First Horror Movie Musical,” “Shook Out of Shape” puts me in my mind of a Wanda Jackson or a Patsy Cline in a rock mood. Perfectly acceptable beach party music, though it has less of that wonderful offness about it than most anything else here.

Bobby and Benny Belew — “Lonesome”

This is more like it. 12-year-old Texan twins sing close harmony rockabilly from 1957’s Rock, Baby—Rock It! one of a million chintzy attempts to cash in on the rock ‘n’ roll craze that looks like it was shot for $10 (in today’s money). The performances (which some kind soul has cut free of the film’s narrative) by a string of never-were stars generally rip (check out Johnny Carroll, and also whoever’s playing guitar for Preacher Smith & the Deacons, goddamn!), but the Belew Twins were definitely the right choice for this comp. Kids singing adult music basically always comes with the scent of some sweating, overambitious father clenching his fists in the wings. Delish.

The Pleasant Valley Boys — “Robert E. Lee Broke His Musket on His Knee”

From the seminal hicksploitation film Two Thousand Maniacs (1964), we have straight up and down rural car chase bluegrass concerning the eventual return of the South; the horrible shrieking of a crazed Robert E. Lee; and the sucking chest wounds of Stonewall Jackson. The slapping sound? Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just tapping away on the big vein in my arm.

Some adults and some kids — “We’re the Lemon Grove Kids”

Described in the liner notes as a “grating jingle,” this minute-or-so number served as the theme song for a series of Bowery Boys knock-off short films directed by Ray Dennis Steckler, who also gave us The Incredibly Strange Creatures and Rat Pfink a Boo Boo (see side 2 of this LP). Both grating and a jingle.

Arch Hall Jr. — “Vickie”

More Hall Jr., hailing like “Valerie” from Eegah!, also like “Valerie” sung to his character’s girlfriend whose name is Roxie. The songs are similar, but this one is dweebier.

Side Two

Milton Delugg & the Little Eskimos — “Hooray for Santa Claus”

This review didn't need to be this long, but with band names like this, and movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) I don’t see how I can stop. A thoroughly unbearable twist-style song sung by a chorus of children who pronounce it out S-A-N-T-A but say it “Santy.”

Arch Hill Jr. — “Yes, I Will”

Yet another one from Arch, this time from 1962’s Wild Guitar. “Yes, I Will” is kind of pubby rock, and it’s perfectly fine, but there are much better numbers from this one—chalk me up as a “Twist Fever” guy personally. Wild Guitar is very in the Elvis teen idol-movie mode—ironically though the best performance of Hall Jr.’s short career would come the following year in Jamis Landis’s brutish The Sadist, in which Hall plays a psychopathic killer based on Charles Starkweather!

Johnnie Fern — “Hey, Look Out! (I Want to Make Love to You)”

1938’s The Terror of Tiny Town is a Western with a cast entirely composed of little people. It will not shock you to learn the movie did not originate from an urge to improve representation of little people in film, but rather from a joke producer Jed Buell overheard. According to the liners the song is sung by someone named Johnnie Fern, but in the film it’s presented as the voice of Nita Krebs, a dancehall girl doing a kind of Marlene Dietrich femme fatale shtick. It’s a treacly Vaudeville-ish ballad sung in a very, very high pitch, and I love it. Sending this one out to my girlfriend, to whom I am hornily disposed and who also is quite short.

Dr. Frederick Kopp — “The Dance Hall Twist”

Yet another twist number (from 1964’s monster flick The Creeping Terror). Not much to say about it, likely included here because it immediately precedes this unforgettable sequence:

Dr. Frederick Kopp — “She Left Me Lonely”

A vaguely Latin-flavoured country ballad from the same film featuring the indelible chorus, “she left me lonely / she left me sad / but still I am happy / in fact I am glad,” the liner notes quote the classically trained Dr. "Not a" Kopp as “feeling dirty” to have written the song, which apparently took him 15 minutes or so.

Harold "Duke" Lloyd with Page Cavanaugh and His Trio — “Special Date”

Before kicking off this number from 1958’s Frankenstein’s Daughter, the Duke sends “Special Date” out to anyone in the audience on a special date, which is like dedicating a song called “Having Sex” to anyone currently having sex or “Eating Food” to anyone actively eating food.

Ron Haydock & the Boppers — “Rat Pfink”

Ray Dennis Steckler’s Rat Pfink a Boo Boo (1966) is a straight crime movie for the first 40 minutes before abruptly becoming a parody of the Batman television series and ending with a rockabilly barbecue party. Sung by Ron Haydock, who plays the titular Batman knockoff, the Gene Vincent-y “Rat Pfink” is damned solid stuff.

Ron Haydock & the Boppers — “Big Boss A-Go-Go Party”

Same artist, same movie, same scene, not quite as vigorous as “Rat Pfink” but you gotta think Lux Interior of the Cramps must’ve loved this shit.

That’s it? That’s all the turkey? Thank you Rhino, thank you directors of trash movies and performers of trash music, thank you dear reader for sticking around.

240/365