#WHY AM I GETTING MORE EXCITED ABOUT ART OF MY BOYFRIEND THAN ART OF ME 😭

[mr-urple]

DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Hai again :D take a fanart of your grumpy/flustered boi

FUCKING EXPLKDES

[venusacrossthestars]

sharp or dull

pairing- Lando Norris x fem!reader

summary- Lando has begged you to stream with him, you will on one condition- it has to be an ASMR stream

wc- 1.7k

a/n: I wrote this in one sitting bc I cooked this up as a nighttime scenario, because I am an ASMR hoe, hope you enjoy! I also tried something a little new, I added the 'chat' section of the stream, you'll see what I mean. idk if I'm a fan of it or not.

f1 masterlist

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or better yet known as ASMR, had taken TikTok, YouTube, and nearly every other social media platform by storm. To you, ASMR was a calming and relaxing way to unwind after a long day. And as an ASMR-artist you were constantly trying to find new ways to bring that experience to your viewers

Lando, however, could never understand the appeal of ASMR. He didn’t find it relaxing, calming, or anything of the sorts. He much preferred to fall asleep in pure silence, maybe the sound of a fan once in a while. While he didn’t understand it that didn’t mean he didn’t support you and your ‘art’. 

“Babeeee,” Lando whined. 

“What?” 

“Stream with me, pleaseeeee.” 

You rolled your eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. Lando had been begging you for days to with him. Why? Well, when you asked him his exact words were, “Because I get lonely.”  And while you loved Lando, sitting there while he played whatever random game he could find just to keep him company, did not sound appealing. 

“Landoooo,” you draw out in response to his whining. 

“Baby please,” he begs again, “I’ll even let you choose what we do, I swear.” 

A lightbulb goes off in your head. “Anything?” 

“Yes?” He replies, curious to your response. 

Your face breaks out into a grin, “And you promise you’ll do it.” 

Lando takes a big gulp, “What are you planning woman?” 

“Promise?” You hold out your pinky and shake it at him, awaiting his answer. 

He takes your pinky in his, “Promise.” 

Its a week later when Lando is finally able to stream and you couldn’t be more excited. You still haven’t told your boyfriend of your plans. 

“Babe, what are we doing? I need to know so I can set up.” 

“Don’t worry about setting any of your games up. We are going to be doing something else,” You tell him. 

Lando shoots you a confused look, “Care to let me in that pretty head of yours.” 

You giggle, “Well since you said we can do anything of my choosing we will being doing an ASMR stream!” You throw out your hands excitedly. 

Lando looks less than thrilled, “No.” He says flatly. “I meant like you could pick out the game or a challenge. I am not doing ASMR.” 

“You should’ve specified the terms then Norris. And if I am remembering correctly you pinky promised on ‘anything’, can’t go back on that.” 

“Babe I'm not doing ASMR.” 

“Fine then you can stream by yourself.” You cross your arms across your chest and give Lando a pointed look, you were not backing down. 

“No.” 

“You wouldn’t even have to do anything! I would be doing all of it!” 

“No.” 

“Not even a head massage?” 

“No.” 

“Not even sharp or dull?” 

This is when you know you have him hooked. Lando can tell everyone that he doesn’t care for ASMR, that he doesn’t find it relaxing, all that jazz. But you know something they don’t. You know that this man is a sucker for the ‘sharp or dull’ genre of ASMR, and since Lando has sworn you to secrecy you were unable to share this juicy piece of information with the world. 

“... fine, I am only doing this because I love you.” 

As Lando was setting up the stream you were busy gathering your supplies that were spewed about Lando’s streaming room, which at times doubled as your recording studio when you filmed for your YouTube channel. 

Lando went live, muting his mic while being black-screened. You could see the comments flooding the chat:

landonorizzzzzzz- LANDO STREAMMMMMMM pizzaparty124003- about time!! we were in a drought! carlando4lifeeee- HE”S BACK FROM WARRRRR justaninchident- WE CAN”T SEE YOU papayaboyzzz- LANDOOOOOOOOO

Lando unmutes his mic, “I know you can’t see me chat.” 

You whack his arm, “Lando, be nice.” 

carlando4lifeeee- IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS???? landoandy/naremyparents- MOTHER IS HERE justaninchident- DEFEND ME MOTHER PLEASEEEEE sofishdicatedaf- OMG WE ARE GETTING A Y/N AND LANDO STREAM??

Lando finally turns on the camera and chat continues to lose their mind, “Yes chat, Y/N is here.” 

You wave at the camera, “Hiiiiiii!” 

“Do you want to tell them what we are doing today or do want me?” 

“I can tell them. Chat, today we are doing something I am a literal professional at.” Lando rolls his eyes, “Don’t roll your eyes at me mister, you begged me for a literal week to stream with you.” 

landoandy/naremyparents- HE BEGGED HER TO STREAM WITH HIM?!?!!  y/nismymotherfrfr- RELATIONSHIP GOALS papayaboyzzz- lol simppppppp

You glance at chat, laughing at their reaction, “Yes, he’s been begging for me to do this for a long time! I only agreed once he pinky promised that we could do whatever I want. And I chose,” you pause in suspense, “to do ASMR on my lovely boyfriend.” 

“Yay,” Lando says enthusiastically. 

“Stop. You are going to love it.” 

“If you insist.” 

You launch into explanation, “So as some of you know I run an ASMR account on YouTube and TikTok and today I’ll be doing a couple different ‘triggers’ on Lando.” 

“A couple? I only agreed to one,” he interrupts you. You shoot Lando a pleading look and it takes only a few seconds before he is admitting defeat. “Fine, only a couple though.” He glances at the screen where the chat is displayed, “Call me a simp all you want, at least I have a girlfriend to simp over.” 

“Chat, don’t mind him, he only found out what I wanted to do like 20 minutes ago. But as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted is that I’ll be doing a couple different ‘triggers’ that are pretty popular amongst my audience such as- sharp or dull, head massage, hair brushing.” 

After your explanation you get up from your seat and gather your supplies as Lando messes with the camera and mic. 

“Lan, can you scooch back just a tad?”

“Hmm? Oh, of course baby.” 

“Thank you,” you give him a small kiss on the crown of his head.

“So I am going to start of with the head massage and hair brushing first,” you explain to chat, moving to speak in your softer, slower tone that you use while filming, “Then for the grand finale I’ll do the sharp or dull.” 

Lando always turned to putty when you played with his hair, you weren’t expecting this to be any different, well minus the fact that a bunch of fans were watching. At first you weren’t sure if the mic was even picking up on any of noise but one quick glance at chat seemed that they were all enjoying it. For multiple reasons, you were sure of it. 

After five-or-so minutes of head scratching you decide to check in on your completely silent boyfriend. “Still doing okay baby?” You ask, voice nearly a whisper. 

“Yeah, I’m doing great,” Lando response at full Lando volume. 

papayaboyzzz- MY EARSSSSSS sofishdicatedaf- tell me why I had my volume all the way up and this man decided to talk FULL VOLUME WHAT THE HELL LANDO ass-mr- this man has no idea how to asmr asmrismycrack- no bc why? his gf is literally an asmr PRO

You chuckle at the comments, “Baby you have to be quiet.” 

“What? Why?” He turns around, looking at you confused. 

“Because having people talk loudly, or practically screaming in your case, isn’t really relaxing to listen to.” 

“Oh, sorry,” Lando drops his voice to a much quieter tone, giving you a sheepish smile. 

“That’s okay baby.”

You go move through a couple other triggers, and around the 20-minute mark you decided to wrap things up, “Ok, since I don’t want to bore all of you we are going to move onto the sharp or dull. Then, I don’t know, maybe a Q and A or something.” 

Once again you explain the sharp or dull concept to Lando and the chat, “By the way chat this is Lando’s favorite genre.” 

“Lies, I don’t watch ASMR.” 

“You’re the only one telling lies. You love sharp or dull ASMR, it’s the only one you watch.” 

“Babeeee,” Lando whines, “You were sworn to secrecy.” 

You shrug your shoulders, “Whoops.” 

“Now no one will think I’m cool.” 

“I don’t think you needed any help with that.” Lando looks at you offend that you would say such a thing, you grab his head and turn his face back to the camera. “Okay close your eyes and tell me if this is sharp or dull,” 

You alternate between poking Lando's face with the Q-tip or the toothpick that you have in your hand. Lando gets every guess correct but as you go on you can tell by how his voice gets quieter that he is getting more and more tired. Maybe doing this stream late at night wasn't the best idea. 

“Ok, I think that’s enough.” 

Lando groans at his cut off, “Chat I don’t think I’m gonna make it.” 

You giggle at his sleepiness, “Next time we can do something you want, but for now I think it’s time for bed.”

Lando hums in agreement, “Goodnight everyone! Thanks for tunning in!” 

You wave at the camera, “Goodnight!!” 

Lando shuts down the stream along with his PC and slumps in his chair, “What did you do to me. I’m ready to pass out.” 

“It’s the magic of ASMR.” 

“Fine, I guess it was the magic of ASMR,” Lando sighs out.

“Does that mean you like it now?” You ask, pulling him out of his chair. 

Lando collapses against you, his arms wrap around you as the two of you waddle towards the bathroom. “I only like it when you do it. That’s it.” 

“I’ll take it.” 

The two of you brush your teeth in silence, you watch as Lando can barely keep his eyes open. His sleepiness at your ASMR was a compliment in the highest regards. Lando reattaches himself to your back as you make your way into your shared bedroom. 

As you climb under the covers and reposition yourself in Lando’s arms you can feel his breathing steady out. 

“Babe?” He whispers. 

“Lan?” 

“You meant what you said?” 

“Meant what?” 

“That we could do whatever I want next time you come and stream with me?” 

“Well, anything within reason.” 

“Promise,” Lando wiggles his pinky.

“Promise,” you whisper back, interlocking his pinky with yours.

taglist- (crosses out names mean I couldn't tag you)

@arieslost @customsbyjcg-blog @gr1mes-cc @styl1shl1v @landoscardotcom @poppyflower-22 @blancastans @katiezdiarysblog @mrsstylez @jamieeboulos @xfuckoffx @motkanykodas @emi0358 @ab-127 @alrightysyaphrodite @sya-skies @liacoresstuff @leathersuitrry @travelingece1995 @kageyamas-milk @ugfuchvvvz @jupooo @alex0808 @caleysblog @jess-wither @cassymendezz164445 @rattiefattie69 @sadisticfries @lou-larcher5 @harrietstylinson7 @inlovewithdeadboys @rickyrivera11 @cleverpeachheropersona @loveyatopluto @elysyannemimi @arayofsunshineme @lilyevanswhore @slaygirlbossworld @jupooo @heyheyheyggg @eringaitskill

[cutieeva]

Oh shit ! I truly thought that (Y/N) has gone mad but it wasn't that way when I read the second episode !! 😔😔 I am sad for girly yet excited to read the next that's why please please please update fast 😘😘 (Also I love your writing, officially in love with you)

Bullied

Female Reader

Warnings : Bullying. Violence.

⌜ Thank you dearie for loving my art of writing, it never fails to makes me happy and here an belated update. ⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Loving someone itself is an act of selfish so why is leaving the relationship seen so heinous ? Sometimes one's own sake of happiness is needed more than another's if fallen out of love. The sooner (Y/N) understand the better.

"What is going on in that table ?"

"Is the girl okay ?"

"Why is she making a big deal about all ?"

"He is such a lovely boy yet she is so nasty accusing him for cheating ?"

"If I had a boyfriend like that I would die from happiness".

"He should break up with her".

"She seem toxic".

"(Y/N) ! Stop it and get up". Sophia's irritated voice reach her ears and (Y/N) couldn't help but feel all is jumbled. All is unclear. All is numb because does her suffering doesn't matter ? Yes, perhaps she is overreacting yet is it her fault when he was the one to lie about everything ?

Slowly her (E/C) eyes met Sophia's and other accountances she calls friends and her heart dropped.

Her pale face in snarl.

Other's cheeks red from thoroughly shame.

Another can't even share a glance at her.

The beautiful woman standing in awkward.

The guests are whispering, increasingly harsh, scary and the workers worried.

And lastly Cameron, stood looking hurt. In pain than she was and all her beliefs, reality begin distorting.

Is she a nuisance ?

Is she really overreacting over everything like others ?

Is she the one in wrong for not trusting him ?

Is being dated on bet and built an relationship on lies is alright as long as the faulty party apologize ?

If once the trust she believes was broken in the worst way, then is she the one to create drama ?

Are lies not serious ?

Do lies have little meaning ? Is playing with someone else's feeling is a small price for a relationship she didn't even realize ?

Is she overreacting ? "Am I overreacting ?" Despite people surround her, her own few people even the boyfriend she loved once yet why she suddenly feels so alone ? Lonely ? And hopeless ?

Daze with piling doubts and thousand pairs of eyes watching her, her hand yanked by Cameron. "I am sorry, I apologize for the scene". Smiling like a good man he hold her shoulder and walk her limp body to his car he drove.

In the entirety none dare break the ice in air while Cameron was in disappointment, (Y/N) in utter confusion. All she discover is that she has fall out of love, maybe from the moment he said 'I am now' in front of the men along losing herself. For the fear to let go she latched onto him, gifting him the second chance only to realize her suspicious, love turn into anger and anger form an hatred. An hatred she didn't knew. An hatred so deep she was unable to see his goodness anymore only searching faults.

Her entire being of happy, blunt, forgiving shaped into such a stranger her own eyes have harder to see from the clear fog. She shaped into a vicious, incredulous person. A person she never even dreamed to become.

"Get off". Cameron's that soft, smooth voice rip her from the creeping shadows of words inside her mind and her haze gaze glance to find herself house. His home they decide to turn into their love nest.

Sliding down from the car, she walked towards the lift without waiting for him to follow and press the cold metal button. Her eyes dried from the tears that caught her reflection in the shining metal and she couldn't help find the dark circles weight heavy under her eyes, rim edges red and hair— a mess with barely appropriate clothes on. She looks nothing alike the neat, fresh (Y/N).

She looks wasted, used and worn off self— the door of the lifts snap her out again, she blink twice before stepping in properly. Their floor came faster than she expect and the moment the doorknob twist open. She close her eyes ready to be face with angry lashing, words like knives twisting her guts yet none came.

Rather he remove his coat, wash his hands and smile. "What shall we eat then ?"

She merely stare at him.

He continue to smile. The smile she doesn't find warming, sweet.

"Maybe something different. Like Pollo al Ajillo, in English known as Garlic Chicken ? Hmm ?" A single word didn't slip her lips, standing at her roots.

And without her reply he decided. She watched him not moving her an inch cooking, smiling like a normal couple. Minutes bled into hours and little to no care he serve the food, finally ripping her from her roots and sat her beside him.

Stomach churn in no hunger and eyes burden to open, she look at him. "Let's take a break". The metal spoon his fingers held pause, his smile creased.

"I-I need spac—".

"You don't". He cut off smoothly. His smile wider to it's length than before and the spoon between his fingers lay on the wooden table. "I know what happen today was a little overboard but do not worry. It was my fault after all and it's alright. I forgive you". Soft his eyes he push the plate of food to her, an gesture to eat.

However she couldn't. Her eyes couldn't rip from the oblivious face, acting all normal, when nothing is. Nothing is normal. Their relationship is falling apart, their love draft from one another and trust long out of the picture.

He so easily utter his denial. She doesn't need space, perhaps she doesn't but wouldn't he at least ask the reason behind ? Even if it's known still ask and not play the game of pretend. It's exhausting because they are a real couple not actors in a play.

"Would you not ask me why ?" Her voice in end crack.

"Would it make a difference ?"

"Yes, a lot". Honestly she shares, it will help her a lot to understand the real Cameron, the one who she fell for or the one she saw when the illusion shatter.

He turn his head to her. "We are doing alright. It will be fine. Look am I not improving myself ?" No, she only sees him now complying to her wishes easily.

"I need space". She look away, his face reminding her of those cherish days. "We both need space". She finished, adamant on seperating even if it's for a moment she wants to breath, the tightness on her chest is too much and the alarming mistrust.

Once a pot is broken, even with the finest potter's hands can't fix the remained lines of past.

"Okay". To her surprise he agreed "I see, you need time to cool your head". With that he stood up and went to their shared bedroom leaving her and the cold food behind.

Her finger hold the spoon to take a bite of the dish however few inches from her lips she pause. Staring at the food and can't help but cry of unable to eat at the end. Merely thinking how without waiting for her choice, he cooked the food, only giving an illusion of choices.

☾

When one announce their break up. People's first reaction is : 

"Did he cheat ?"

"Did you cheat ?"

"Is he abusive ?"

"Manipulative ?"

"Controlling ?"

"A bet". (Y/N) would say. "I was a bet he was dared to date and in process he fell for me but he always treated not less than a princess and after I found out he begged, confessed his love. From then he always is perfect. Even ignoring my overreaction". All the voices stopped altogether. The harsh, doubtful all pause because in this picture nothing is wrong apart from the fact he was a liar, who lied and fixed himself for better. He really did but can it patch the wounds of her shattered faith in him ?

People always say second chance can change lives, do wonders and in her she saw. She can see why they give second chances yet she can't bring herself to love anymore. She is angry, stuck on the phrase where all laughed at her like a clown, whispering, betting for how long would she last.

Was she a human or a puppet ? He never defended her, he never share his thoughts with her. She doesn't even know him anymore. She really really is lost.

Even walking towards the metal gates of university seem heavy, scary. Her mind already twisted her vision of people laughing, hating her. Being the center of attention she so wants to be away from. Her (E/C) eyes glance around walking to her class recalling not to stumble upon them or him. She is enough exhausted. She doesn't need more.

BANG! She flinched, her nerves jolting.

BANG! Her eyelids snapped shut, shielding herself from the brutality.

BANG! The sound of flesh colliding with metal reverberated through her ears, leaving a buzzing ache. A human body, crumpling like a rag doll.

"Poor him. He should quit or complain". Not so subtle whispers like flicker of fire circle around, reaching her ears.

"Shouldn't he die at this rate ?" Cruel.

"What a bore. Really ? Everyday ? Isn't it such a nuisance—". Cruel. So, so cruel. Just because a person can't help himself doesn't give these people the chance to pity him. To paint him— the victim the cause of his own suffering. His silence was twisted into consent, his helplessness fuel for their merciless ridicule.

Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Laughter like devilish cackles echoed, faces feigning sympathy, eyes gleaming with fox-like innocence. Cowardly souls, masking their true nature.

She, too, wore a mask, hypocrisy veiling her own darkness.

That's why in a blink of an eye. Her once neat clean palm painted in crimson, stretch of iron reeking the air, painful grunts and horried screams and distorted yells is making no sense to her. She can't understand the aching in her palm, the cries of the familiar boy's underneath her, chanting of word fight and her own tears rolling down.

"Fight. Fight. Fright. Fright". The crowd roar fueling her more and more and more. Why are they encouraging ? Yet why does it feel like she is revelling in it ?

"(Y/N) ! Stop beating Adrian". Oh. Her palms ache because she is punching his face, painted in crimson because it's his blood, cries belong to Adrian who lay beneath her helpless like that boy he was seconds ago using as a ragdoll.

How wonderful.

She can't stop. She punch and punch and punch and punch uttering only three words. "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry". Not to the bully— no never to Adrian. Never to the boy who is violent to innocent. It's to the victim, to the unknown jester of everyone's joke. For Everyone's play. For the system that enable Adrian's cruelty into fun.

She is sorry for blind. She is sorry for foolish. She is sorry for being coward. She is sorry for ignoring him. She is sorry for wearing mask of pretense herself. She is sorry for falling into the lies of Cameron. She is sorry for saying yes to his proposal. She is sorry for overreacting. She is sorry for suspecting. She is sorry for losing trust. She is sorry for not being happy with a perfect boyfriend.

She is sorry for fell in love.

She is sorry for.....everything.

To herself.

To everything.

☾

Dry tears stain her (S/C) cheeks as in empty space she stare, leaning on the chair in front of director's office. The woman's words faded into background noise, inaudible over the cacophony of her thoughts.

Her mind replayed the chaos: the frantic struggle, the flash of anger, the blur of fists. She couldn't recall who intervened, pulling her back from the brink of destruction. By then, he had already crumpled, unconscious. Her tangled hair bore witness to the scuffle, matted from the grasping hands of his minions, few blood dotted her blue jeans, a crimson constellation from her own nose. Her torn t-shirt hung askew, shoulder exposed while he— lay worse. Broken. Lifeless almost.

Yet no remorse stirred in her stomach, surprisingly. Instead, a lingering sense of justification lingered, eclipsed only by the anguish she felt for the victim. The one she had been compelled to defend, driven by a primal urge to protect she only dreamed.

"(Y/N), can you hear me?" The director's voice cut through the tension. "Do you comprehend the gravity of your situation? You're at risk of expelled !" An humorless laugh almost slip from (Y/N).

Expelled for what ? Punching a deserving scum to death while he punch an innocent boy to death when his skin wasn't even healed from the stitches of wounds Adrian left on him ?

(E/C) eyes stare at the female director who's blue glossy eyes stare at (Y/N) like she was a demon of chao when in her view, the real corrupt could be the adult, this lady who blind these physical, emotion abuse. Pain so small like (Y/N)'s bet and huge imprinting like that boy's scars for eternal to remember. Become something that etched in their memories, their experiences, though grave and painful, would be reduced to cautionary stories, diluted by time and retelling. The true weight of their suffering would remain unspoken, lost amidst the faint whispers of a forgotten past.

The tense standoff ended when the director's blue eyes darted past (Y/N), as if catching something She sighed audibly, her expression softening. "Get out. Reflect on your actions and the reasons for your two-week suspension. Expulsion is off the table." She mused confusing (Y/N)'s daze self a little and when she stood up, walking out of the room.

She understand meeting his concern eyes. Her boyfriend must have used his power.

Cameron swallowed under her intense gaze, part his lips to say when she continue to walk, aware of the pain in her body suddenly.

Alone in the empty hallway, she felt a fleeting sense of peace, liberated from the weight of others' judgments. Her footsteps echoed off the walls as she moved, ghost-like. Her eyes drifted to the scattered belongings on the floor, remnants of the chaos. She bent to gather them, her movements slow and deliberate.

A sudden twinge of pain shot through her knee as she crouched. (Y/N) winced, noticing the cut, a crimson gash on her pale skin. She gingerly touched the wound, her fingers tracing the tender edge. This time she felt like crying with clarity, like she knew what she was crying for along a need. Tears swell within her (E/C) eyes waiting to fall.

"It will hurt more if you cry". Calmly she gaze beside her. To the lockers where the boy slumped, his face still smeared with blood. The indifference surrounding him was palpable, as if no one cared about his suffering. (Y/N) press her lips, pulling a white handkerchief to hand him.

He accepted the handkerchief, his fingers brushing against hers. With gentle movements, he wiped the blood from his face, revealing a canvas of bruises and wounds beneath. For the first time, (Y/N) saw his true complexion – pale, with a hint of rosy undertones. The vibrant hues of his injuries – purple, blue, and crimson – stood in stark contrast to his delicate skin.

As the blood was wiped away, his features emerged, and (Y/N) noticed the sharp angles of his cheekbones, the gentle curve of his nose, and the softness of his lips.

"I am sorry". It fell out before she could revise or add.

"Don't be". He shake his head. "Everyone's coward. Even me". (Y/N) desire to protest of his own situation.

"I am talking about you". She blink. "You are Cameron's girlfriend". He utter like a fact. "All business major knew about a bet on a girl. They just didn't knew who until one of Cameron's friend told about your relationship making everyone realize who she is but wasn't sure". Her breath hitched. So they did. All did.

"I too, because I am from business major. Yet I was a coward to not say the truth or at least..." He tailed off. "Warn you". He finished heavy silence weight the air. (Y/N) inhale, not finding words to explain the mess of feelings she is having. Indeed both were jester of everyone's joke.

As she scoffed, her gaze trailed his movements, expecting him to walk away. But instead, he swooped down, his lithe frame folding into a crouch beside her. His amber eyes locked onto her knee, the cut a tiny, crimson gash.

Without a word, he reached out, his fingertips grazing her skin as he applied a band-aid. A shiver danced up her spine at the gentle touch.

"You know you're also being bullied?" His voice was low, concerned. Her eyes lift to his focused ones on her cut, whispering a "No".

"Bullying is not only physical you know. It can be emotional too. And what is happening to you is bullying too. An emotional one where he took advantage of your trust, then play with your feelings, manipulate you into staying in the relationship when you clearly in daze of the complexity and not in right state. If he truly cared about you, wouldn't he have asked how you felt or given you the space to think? Wouldn't he have prioritized your well-being over his own desires? But instead, he rushed you into this relationship, disregarding your boundaries and emotions". His words felt like sting of bees she couldn't process as the image of Cameron's pained face when she accused of him cheating in front of others.

His pure happiness when he pull the chair for her in front of her parents.

His patience when she was crying so suddenly and at the restaurant.

Her colleagues Sofia and others disturbed faces and harsh whispers.

"No. No. He is not perfect, yes. He is not good entirely. He is a liar but he improved. It is I who has problem. I fall out of love, mistrust him and..." Her throat felt dry to speak and she swallowed having difficulty seeing. The problem lies in her. She is the odd, fallen one.

The boy finally gaze his amber eyes and said. "If Cameron really is a good person. Not perfect, good. Then why in the first place are you lashing out and angrily pushing your anger on Adrian ? And in a mess mindset ?" It left (Y/N) shunned. Because truly did she blames Cameron for her misery. Hates him for his mockery of perfection. However never did she blame him for his entanglement to this relationship based on lies for her was truth.

"Let's assume Cameron is a good person who genuinely cares for you and loves you deeply, but isn't able to let you go. However, if being with him no longer brings you happiness— not because of his flaws, but because your feelings have changed and you're staying solely out of guilt or obligation, don't you think it's time to reevaluate? For your own sake, shouldn't you prioritize your happiness even if it's selfishness ?"

As he stood, dusting off his pants, (Y/N) lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes held a gentle intensity. "After all, loving someone is, in itself, a selfish act," he added, his voice low and thoughtful.

"I am saying this because you came out of your cowardness for me and I for you". the boy said, wincing as he gingerly touched his jaw. "I should get to the nurse," he added, his voice laced with discomfort.

She swiftly stood up, her hand brushing against his arm with an awkward yet tender touch. "Let me help."

"No, it's okay..." He trailed off, his mind reeling as a wave of dizziness washed over him. His legs weakened, and he swayed precariously, almost toppling over.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened in alarm as she swiftly grasped his arms, her grip tight.

𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

☾ ────────

[khjswifey]

{Forever You Are My Star} [K.HJ]

Kim Hongjoong x Atiny!Reader

Idol Au, Long distance relationship au

After two long years of dating, you finally get to meet you boyfriend and at your favorite group's concert too! But hold on...the leaders voice sounds a bit familiar.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy my first fanfic! I want to continue this lil au, and possible make more for the other members! Let me know if you would be interested in that, Other than that:

Happy Reading!

Tags: @soobinshouseplant

𓂂 ♱⠀◌ ⠀◯ ⭑ ⸱ ៰ ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂 ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂 ♱⠀◌ ⠀◯ ⭑ ⸱ ៰ ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂 ♱⠀◌ •

“Hey Baby..”

“Hiii…”

A soft chuckle filtered through your phone speaker. 

“I’m sorry for calling you so late…”

“Joon, that’s completely fine, You know I stay up late anyways…”

You hear a sigh before he begins to talk again.

“Baby.?”

“Yeah?”

“You still live in (city name), right?”

“Yea, why do you ask?” You asked, curiosity/excitement lacing your tone. Your boyfriend chuckles at you, “Well, we’ll finally be able to meet!” You gasped in excitement, nearly falling off your bed.

You and your boyfriend, Joon, had been dating for about 2 years now, and yes it was a long distance relationship.

The two of you had met online through your art twitter. You did a lot of fanart of your favorite kpop group, Ateez, as well as tattoo ideas. The tattoo designs are what introduced you to your loving boyfriend.

He replied under one of your posts, interested in commissioning a design and it has been you and him against the world ever since. 

Yes, you don’t know how he looks, and he may have various different pictures of you, but you put all your trust in him and you highly doubted he was a catfish.

He always showered you with gifts, and always called you when he got the time to. He rarely showed his face, but you saw his desk and his work area.

You believed he was real and you were excited at the prospect of finally being able to meet him.

“I can tell you’re excited…” Joon started, “I am too..I can’t wait to hold you…” You felt your face heat up as you heard him mumble something in Korean under his breath. 

“What was that?”

“I said I can’t wait to hold you and have you whimpering underneath me, Jagi..”

You squealed in embarrassment as you slammed your phone on the bed. You heard him laughing at you before calling your name.

The two of you sat in silence for a little while after that, nothing but the soft clicking of your boyfriend's laptop coming through the speakers. He finally spoke up again with a little chuckle.

“Well…I bought you a concert ticket…” 

“Joon!”

“What? I thought it was a good idea since we both like concerts~!”

You only hummed in response, not having the time to argue with him tonight, your phone pinged and you sighed.

“I’ll see you in two days!”

“See you~”

Your phone hung up and you went to check your Ticketmaster account, your eyes widened,

You got the tickets! -

X1 Atiny VIP Ticket

My future husband: You’re welcome~

My future husband: I love you.

𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ •

“Y/n, how do you know he will be there?’

“Don’t you think you’re being used..’

You groaned at your friend. “F/n. I don’t think a catfish would drop the money for this ticket like that. It was expensive.”

“So!? Maybe he’ll try to use a little money to kidnap you!”

You grew frustrated as you did your makeup. You had told F/n about what had happened and to make sure you were safe, she was coming along.

F/n was never supportive of your relationship, always judging you for ‘wasting’ your time on a dude that you are only just now meeting. But you also couldn’t blame her, girls did go missing when meeting their online boyfriends. But no matter how you tried to convince her, she wouldn’t listen to you. She didn’t even like Ateez! So she was basically wasting her money.

“What if he’s lying to you about his identity-”

“That’s enough, F/n!!” You yelled at her, finally snapping from the constant negative comments. “If you wanna come then come. But if you’re not going to shut the fuck up already!” 

F/n stared at you in shock. “How dare you? I’m trying to keep you from getting catfished!!” She yelled back and you rolled your eyes pushing past her, grabbing your bag. 

You got your keys and looked at her, “Find your own ride to the damn concert. Don’t bother being around me.” You said leaving her behind.

You were actually surprised she even still came to the concert. You glared at her and she gave you an apologetic look when she caught up to you. 

When you walked into (venue name), you beamed with excitement. Not only were you going to finally meet your boyfriend, you got to see your all time favorite kpop group!

It was refreshing to be around fellow Atiny, you chatted with several around you in the pit. You ended up getting real close from you leaving early. Your blood was pumping through your body when the lights finally dimmed. You screamed as you watched as the members of Ateez came onto the stage.

It felt unreal, it didn’t feel real at all. You couldn’t believe that you were finally here. A couple of songs had gone by when you finally found the time to let your boyfriend know where you were. But you were shocked to see a message from him around 2 years ago that simply said;

“Look at the stage.”

When you looked back up, you locked eyes with Kim Hongjoong, the leader of Ateez, your bias, your Ult bias to be exact. His eyes were locked on you as he introduced himself to the crowd. Your brain froze. 

When he spoke, his voice sounded familiar, and not just from you listening to music. No it was like you knew him on a personal level.

“F/n…” You said, capturing your friends' attention, concerned at your tone. “What’s wrong? Is it that boy?” She asked.

You looked back up to the stage, watching as Ateez prepared for their next set of songs.

“I think my boyfriend is the leader of Ateez..”

“...You mean as a joke right…?”

“....”

“...oh…”

𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ •

“What do you mean you think your boyfriend is a member of Ateez!?” 

It was after the concert, and you were instructed by your boyfriend to meet him afterwards backstage. All you had to do was tell the security your name and they led you to where you were now.

F/n was very skeptical and was weary about leaving you alone, but after a while of convincing she finally left, making sure she had you added on Life360 just in case.

You stood there waiting, watching as various staff members worked around you. You were starting to think that he wasn’t going to come at all.

You looked down at your phone and sighed, turning to leave.

“Baby!” 

You whip around to find the owner of the voice, and lo and behold it was Kim Hongjoong. He was now dressed comfortably, makeup gone and a soft blush on his face with a lazy smile.

You smile wide and run up to him, nearly tackling him to the ground with a hug. He laughs and wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly as if you were going to vanish if he let go.

When he did let go, he pulled away a bit to place a kiss on your lips. You melted into his grasp only pulling away when you needed air from the male. 

The two of you looked at each other for a while. One half of you wanted to fight him for lying to you, but you knew he had his reasons, but the other was so happy that he was real and that he was not only your idol, but your lover.

“Hongjoongie…” You mumbled, hiding your face in his chest.

He chuckled as he held you close to him, “It’s so nice to hear you say my name…” He replied, finally pulling away.

When he did, he held your hands and swung them back and forth. He looked like a lovesick puppy, his eyes filled with love and adoration.

“Do you have anywhere else to go?...” 

“No not really…”

“Well…could you maybe come back with me?”

You giggle at his bashfulness, nodding. “Of course, You have a lot of explaining to do..”

Hongjoong smiles before pulling you along with him.

𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ •

Hongjoong paid for your visit to his hotel room, not leaving until he made sure you were safely on your way.

When you got there, you finally got to meet the other members, it was surreal for you. Just yesterday you were catching up on missed content, laughing as you watched Ateez go about their antics. Now you are meeting them and apparently dating their leader.

To say you were nervous would be an understatement, you were nearly shitting bricks. 

But it actually went over well, Hongjoong introduced you to them one by one. You happily introduced yourself, shaking their hands until you got to Wooyoung, who had a smug grin.

“You’re really pretty. No wonder cap-” He was cut off by Hongjoong flinging something at him. You giggled at this as the rest of the evening with the boys went fine. It was spent with you explaining how you met Hongjoong, talking about how much you loved their music and how you really appreciated how nice they were being to him.

Later on, Hongjoong led you to his room, which you tilted your head at.

“I thought you guys shared rooms when you went on tour?”

“We do, the guys wanted to give us privacy though..”

You felt your face heat up as you walked over and flopped on the bed. Hongjoong then joined you, leaning his head on your stomach.

The two of you sat in silence for a while, basking in the silence before he spoke up.

“I’m sorry…” He started, moving to sit up, you moved to sit up at the head board. 

“Hon-”

“I’m sorry for not telling you who I was y/n…I was scared…” He admits and it hurt your heart with how he avoided eye contact. He sighed before finally turning to you.

“When I found out you were an Atiny..I got scared. I thought you were only gonna like me because of who I am on stage…” You watched him carefully as he continued. 

“I thought you weren’t gonna love me for me…So I hid it. It’s why I rarely showed my face when we talked. But when I saw your face…” Hongjoong reached over to cup your cheek, eyes misty. You felt your own tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Hongjoong…” You started moving closer to the male, your faces barely touching. “I’m in love with you…all of you…the Idol you and the normal you. Yes I may be an Atiny, but I love you. Not your career.” You say softly leaning on him. 

“I was worried…that you wouldn’t like me once you met me. That you would’ve thought I was a weirdo or that-mmph!” Your rant was cut off by Hongjoong kissing you, he pulled you into his arms, your eyes widened as he silenced you. They eventually fluttered closed as he deepened the kiss, only pulling away to hide his face in the crook of your neck.

“You’re always loved by me…I trust you y/n..”

A small smile ghosted across your features as the two of you stayed that way for a while.

You felt at peace knowing that you could now love both forms of him..

𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ •

You were sad when you had to say goodbye to your boyfriend. One night was definitely not enough time for you to get all what you had to say to him off your chest.

And there was obviously a lot more that Hongjoong wanted to do, but that would have to wait for the next time you would meet.

So when you got home, you were watching through your concert footage when you got a notification.

‘Ateez_official_ has made a post’

You clicked it and felt your heart do a mini flip.

‘[#Hong_stagram] Forever you are my star ❤️’

It was a black and white picture of the two of you holding hands with the caption;

‘[#Hong_stagram] Forever you are my star <3’

𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ • 𓂂  ♱⠀◌  ⠀◯  ⭑ ⸱ ៰  ͘ ࣭ ⠀𓂂  ♱⠀◌ •

[fullsunstrawberry]

NCT Dream Reaction:

You ask them to kiss you

Warning* Very Fluffy, Mention of heated kissing in some.

[nct dream masterlist]

Mark: New Years Kiss

•“Hey, you good bro?” Mark took a seat next to you.

•“Ugh New Years always reminds me of how painfully single I am.” Mark laughed at that. “Why?”

•“I just never have a New Years Kiss” You sigh slouching down in your seat.

•“Just ask anyone, I don’t think anyone would really mind” Mark patted your shoulder before getting up because Jeno called him over.

•You still had an hour to decide on wether or not you were going to ask someone to kiss you.

•But any time you would think about kissing someone your mind went straight to Mark. You found yourself searching for him with your eyes.

10

9

8

•The Countdown started when Mark pulled you up from the couch handing you a glass of champagne.

7

6

5

•You looked at Mark who was already smiling at you.

4

3

•“kiss me” you whispered.

•“what?”

2

•“Kiss me!” you said a little louder this time.

1

•Mark looked you in the eyes and placed his hands on your cheek. “Happy New Years” He whispered while slowly leaning in.

Renjun: “The Art of Kissing”

•“Y/nnnnnnn, what are you doing?”

•you rolled your eyes “Renjun i’m reading a book”

•Renjun was the one to invite you over. You were excited till you realized he was practicing for a comeback and wasn’t giving you any attention.

•So you decided to take out your book and read. While occasionally looking up to watch Renjun dance.

•“What book is more important then me”

•“The book is called “The Art of Kissing” You held up the book so he could see the cover

•”Doesn’t sound as good as watching me dance” He scoffs “What could it be about that is more important than watching me dance”

•“You want me to show you?” You got up from sitting and walked towards him.

•You definitely made Renjun blush

•“W-What do you mean”

•“kiss me and find out”

Jeno: Making Ex Jealous

•You just found out your boyfriend, now ex, cheated on you during most of your relationship. Even though you were already mentally done with him, it still hurt. You needed to tell someone but all your friends weren’t responding to your texts.

•So you decided to go see if Jeno was practicing.

•Which he was, thankfully. Jeno knew your ex boyfriend but they never got along. Your ex works at SM and Jeno didn’t like the idea of you dating someone from his company. He said that it would make things awkward. Now you understand why.

•You peaked in one of the practice room to see Jeno talking with some of his members. Before you could close the door he saw you and smiled, motioning you to come and join.

•When you got closer he could tell there was something up.

•“What’s wrong?” he looked worried and you started to feel bad. You looked at the other members because you didn’t really want to make a scene.

•“Let’s get some food” He takes your hand and drags you out the room

• After closing the door and making sure none of the other members followed you two out, he questioned you “What’s wrong?”

•”So you remember my boyfrie- ex boyfriend” he nods already confused. ”Well turns out he was cheating on me”

•You could already see Jeno getting upset. You didn’t really want to tell him because you knew he would try to do something he would regret later.

•”i’m gonna kill him” He huffs out but when he sees your expression he turns soft.

•”How about instead of me killing him, we go eat in the cafe?” He waits till you nod to grab your hand and lead you to the dinning area.

•This was a bad idea because you saw your ex with another girl. The girl that he was cheating on you with. Jeno noticed and was already getting pissed off.

•You watched as your ex turned around and noticed you holding hands with Jeno. He never liked Jeno and even considered him as a “threat” while you two were dating.

•”Jeno Kiss Me” You whispered

•Jeno didn’t question it, already knowing why you asked. He pulled you into him quickly and you grabbed his shirt pulling him down to kiss you even deeper. You two were practically making out in front of everybody but you really didn’t care.

•You quickly forgot about your ex the second Jeno’s lips were on your own. Jeno was just too good of a kisser.

•Jeno being the gentleman he is- took you into a more private place. AKA a random janitor closet to continue.

Haechan: Prove It

•Hanging out with all the Dreamies was kind of stressful. Well not for you, but for Haechan it was hell.

•Everyone already knew about Haechan crush on you. He didn’t even need to tell anyone. That’s how obvious it was.

•The only person that didn’t know was you. To be fair, you were blinded by your own crush on him.

•You liked hanging out with Haechan one on one. But hanging out with the Dreamies meant a whole bunch of teasing towards Haechan.

•You loved it! Hey it’s not your fault he looks so damn hot when he is annoyed.

•That’s why you just had to join in when everyone was teasing him.

•“pft I bet you’ve never even kissed someone” Jeno laughed.

•“I HAVE!” Haechan defended

•You couldn’t help but to giggle at this. But that was a mistake because Haechan caught you giggling.

•“Y/nnnn” He whined, hoping that you believed him.

•“I didn’t even say anything!” you defended yourself throwing your hand up into the air.

•“But you laughed! I’m a very good kisser!” He was now only looking at you.

•“Okay, okay, whatever you say Haechan” you said, sarcasm lacing your voice.

•“I am! Why don’t you believe me!” Haechan started getting up, probably to be more dramatic.

•“Then prove it” You shrugged

•This made Haechan do a 180. Instead of being loud and dramatic, he got quite.

•“And how would i do that y/n” He spoke, unsure of how his voice was going to sound.

•You got closer to haechan, looking into his eyes. But your eyes started to travel down until they were on his lips.

•“kiss me”

Jaemin: Practice Makes Perfect!

• This was perfect! You are finally going on your first date. You were beyond worried. Every time you thought about it, anxiety would fill you.

• You realized that you didn’t know how to go on a date.

• So you did the only thing that you could think of. Asking Jaemin for help.

• You always ask Jaemin for help and this is no different.

•He didn’t agree to help you, until you said you felt comfortable around him and didn’t want to ask anyone else for help.

• He thought about it for a second. Knowing that he wouldn’t able to hide his feeling if he went on a pretend date with you. But he didn’t want you to run to Jeno or Mark for help.

• That’s what lead you to standing in front of Jaemin’s door wearing a sundress.

• Once you knocked Jaemin quickly opened the door. When he saw you he froze. He didn’t expect you to get all dressed up for a fake date. But you were determined to make everything perfect.

• “Wow you look beautiful” He spoke holding out his hand for you to take. This made you blush not expecting physical touch.

• After your amazing pretend date. Jaemin took you back to his dorm and lead you into his room because he didn’t want this to end.

• “Thank you Jaemin, this was amazing” You smiled ready to turn around and leave because this was feeling a little bit too real.

• “Um is there anything else I can teach you before you leave?” He nervously uttered. Just trying to keep you from leaving.

• This made you blush even more because you know he didn’t mean for it to sound dirty but you two were alone in his room after a “date”.

• “Uh well, what if he tries to do more?” You blurted out.

• “How would I help you with that y/n” Jaemin didn’t want to assume you were implying kissing but he couldn’t help but blush.

• “Jaemin can you show me how to kiss?”

• That’s all you had to say before Jaemin was pulling you into him and cupping your face. “Let me show you”

• You were a natural at kissing. Which only made Jaemin deepen the kiss. Slowly pushing you to where you back hit the wall.

• Once you two pulled away to breath again, he spoke “Cancel that date, i’m taking you on a real one”

Chenle: Just kiss me

• Chenle having his own house was the best. You didn’t have to worry about the other Dreamies teasing you guys every time you hung out.

• Chenle practically invited you over to hangout every day he had off. Which wasn’t a lot but you were grateful you were his number one choice to hang out.

• Hanging out consists of playing video games or board games in his living room. It was never a chill hangout, you guys always had to be as loud as possible.

•Today was no different. You two were playing Mario Kart before you decided to order food.

•When the food arrived, Chenle insisted that eating in the living room was better than the dining room.

•You liked sitting on the floor while eating take out because it felt very “teenager” to you. Since you and Chenle didn’t really have a teenage life. Just immediately going to work instead of partying or going to college.

• “Y/n, look” Chenle giggled spinning an empty bottle of pepsi on the table. Which ended up pointing to you.

• “Looks like we have to kiss now” He laughed

•“Okay” You leaned towards him.

•“What” he gasped. Expecting you to playfully slap him.

• “What, it landed on me! So that means we kiss” You explained as if he didn’t already know how spin the bottle worked.

• “You don’t have to, if it makes you uncomfortable” Chenle assured.

•“Chenle, Just kiss me”

• After he took a good look at your face, making sure you weren’t joking with him, he grabbed you hands to pull you closer to him. With one more look at your face to make sure, he leaned in and kissed you.

• Chenle was very grateful he had his own house.

Jisung: First Kiss

•You were done with all the teasing from your friends. What’s so wrong with not having your first kiss yet. You are a hopeless romantic. You wanted it to be perfect.

• But not everything can be ‘perfect’.

• That’s why you decided your just gonna get it over with. Then you won’t have to deal with all the stress and anxiety of it all.

• But the problem was you didn’t really know who to ask. You needed to be comfortable with them. You didn’t wanna kiss some random person.

• You first thought of one of the Dreamies, your close to some of them. They probably wouldn’t mind. But which one?

• Jaemin or Jeno…Definitely not they probably had too much experience for you to be comfortable kissing them.

• Mark? nope! you don’t want to be called bro after you kissed someone.

• Haechan? Chenle? Renjun? …They would definitely tease you.

• Jisung? Well he hasn’t had his first kiss yet either. What if he doesn’t want to get it over, with like you do?ughhh it doesn’t hurt to ask.

• You knocked on Jisung’s door hoping he wasn’t out because you didn’t even shoot him a text.

• You heard rumbling on the other side of the door before a very annoyed Jisung opened the door. His eyes softened when he realized it was you.

• “I didn’t know you were coming over” This came out more of a question, rather than a statement.

• “Sorry, I wasn’t really thinking straight.” You uttered.

• Jisung stepped to the side of the door and ushered you into his room. “is there anything wrong y/n?”

• You nervously looked at him “um I don’t really know how to put this but I kind of want to get my first kiss over with”

• This confused Jisung even more “Okay, uh-”

• “I was wondering if you wanted to get it over with too”

• The realization hit Jisung in the face. His face was getting red and he couldn’t look you in the eyes anymore. “Yeah, i do” he paused “I don’t really know how to do this” he continued.

• He took a couple steps closer to you. He then placed his hand on your cheek gently.

• Him being so closed to you almost made you stop breathing. You could of swore you would drop dead if he got any closer to you.

• He started to lean in, closing his eyes when he got closer.

• Finally touching you lips and quickly pulling away. Before he could step away, you grabbed on to his shirt and pulled him back into another kiss.

[themculibrary]

Stony Christmas Fics Masterlist

A Christmas For You And Me (ao3) - idiotwithdreams steve/tony, bucky/clint, bruce/natasha, jane/thor G, 5k

Summary: Forced into playing Secret Santa with the rest of the Avengers, Tony Stark falls into a state of panic as he struggles to find the perfect gift for the super soldier that he is not in love with, no matter what Pepper says, it’s just a crush. Really.

Meanwhile, Steve Rogers has decided that Christmas is the time for love and confessions, and has the perfect present in mind for his favorite genius. Little does he know that said genius possesses the ability to misinterpret perfect gifts so differently.

Christmas fluff with idiot boys in love. Ft. Pepper and Natasha being tired of all the angsty pining while Bucky loves enjoying Steve’s misery!

A Christmas Saved (ao3) - samptra E, 9k

Summary: Cold hearted Tony Stark is about to get a lesson in what Christmas is all about.

A Lifetime Of Christmases (ao3) - Coffee_and_notebooks G, 1k

Summary: One of the things that made Christmas so special for them was the traditions they had, what they could look forward to every year.

They had both always been those people that were absolutely obsessed with Christmas, getting excited well before Halloween and Thanksgiving, and getting excited all over again after the two occasions were over.

Or: Three Traditions Steve and Tony already had at Christmas and the One New Tradition they make.

Architecture (ao3) - sineala G, 1k

Summary: Tony decorates Avengers Tower for the new team’s first Christmas, and Steve’s standing in a very fortuitous place.

Bears and Mountains and Lumberjacks Oh My! (ao3) - justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday) E, 24k

Summary: It was supposed to be easy–go meet the reclusive artist and buy some art. And then came the broken down car.

And the snowstorm.

And the lumberjack with a face like a greek god.

So yea, Tony is stuck in a cabin in the woods with a hot lumberjack till the storm clears.

Could be worse.

Christmas Eve Will Find Me (ao3) - kahn T, 11k

Summary: Steve walked into his apartment to find Tony sitting on his kitchen counter, cross-legged, facing the door and flicking his thumbs against the screen of his futuristic phone in a way that meant he was either playing a game or hacking the security of some undoubtedly highly dangerous and deeply hostile organization.

“Hi, Honey!” Tony trilled without looking up. “Welcome back!”

Steve comes home.

Closed For the Holidays (ao3) - FestiveFerret E, 6k

Summary: Tony just wants to spend Christmas with his boyfriend.

Ghosts of Christmas Memory (ao3) - scifigrl47 clint/phil, steve/tony T, 11k

Summary: There were three Christmases that Phil Coulson and Clint Barton spent together that altered their relationship. They were tied together by a song, a job, and Clint’s ability to become injured in just about any situation.

Christmas is a time of giving, friendship and love.

I Never Knew The Meaning of Christmas (ao3) - JehBeeEh G, 5k

Summary: A look at Steve and Tony’s first Christmas together.

Luck of the Draw (ao3) - xxDustNight88 steve/tony, bucky/natasha, wanda/vision T, 2k

Summary: When Tony encourages the Avengers to participate in a Secret Santa gift exchange, he discovers that the luck of the draw plays a larger part in the festivities than originally planned.

Memories that last forever (ao3) - ArabellaAM G, 2k

Summary: Tony sighed, turning around all the way and asking with a tired, raspy voice, “Why am I hugging a pillow on Christmas Eve, Rogers?”

Or, Steve can’t sleep and Tony asks him to tell him a story about his mom.

More Than Gravity (ao3) - JenTheSweetie T, 20k

Summary: “Aw, time travel, no.”

On Christmas Eve, Tony came unstuck in time.

Quite the One-Eighty (ao3) - betheflame steve/tony, bucky/natasha G, 2k

Summary: Steve has a bad day, Tony is a nervous wreck, Nat is intent on making popcorn garland, and it all works out in the end.

Saved My Heart For You (ao3) - pensversusswords T, 8k

Summary: Tony had been trying to propose for months, but it turned out that post-battle on Christmas Eve was the best time to pop the question.

Secret Santa (ao3) - within_a_rustic_cafe E, 6k

Summary: It’s Christmastime and the Avengers decide to participate in Secret Santa! When Steve gets Tony for his Secret Santa, the super solider knows just the perfect thing to get his genius boyfriend.

The Christmas Market (ao3) - reona32 steve/tony, jane/thor, bruce/betty G, 9k

Summary: Steve and Tony visit the Christmas Market in Bryant Park.

Unwrapped (ao3) - nightwalker E, 4k

Summary: Tony and Steve each have a surprise for the other. Turns out they were thinking along similar lines.

What Tony Got For Christmas (ao3) - TheRedGlass T, 1k

Summary: In which Steve is a little shit and Tony gets the best Christmas surprise.

[kateac12]

Jerome and Jeremiah having a daughter would include...

Jerome

He's over the moon to learn that he's having a girl, and he'll do anything to protect his "little princess"

Will spend hours just looking at his baby girl sleep in her crib

Always takes her to the park and out for ice cream

"Is that boy in your class still picking on you? Don't worry princess, I'll take take care of them" *winks*

Almost never yells (except when his criminal professional life is really stressing him out)

Will apologize over and over for losing his cool. Makes it up by making her favorite meal, or taking her out to do something fun like ice skating, mini-golf, paint-balling

Goes all out for holidays. Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, you name it. Jerome didn't have those things growing up, and he'll be damned if he doesn't make his child feel special

Will happily help with projects (especially arts and crafts). His daughter will likely get first place in the science fair for making something blow up

The type of dad that will definitely excited to take pictures of his daughter going to prom (and of course, she'll be going with friends, because Jerome will kill threaten any boy that tries to get close to his baby). He knows how boys are, and he refuses to let his daughter get her heart broken by a dumb teenager

"Aww you look so beautiful in that dress I stole got for you." "Dad, stop, you're embarrassing me!"

"Dad, I'm 17. When are you going to let me have a boyfriend?" "I already told you that you can't date until you're 25!"

Jeremiah (pre-spray)

Acts like he doesn't care much about the baby

High key terrified that his little girl will be like his brother or mom

Over time, he warms up to his child, but he's still a very distant father

"Daddy, do you want to do a puzzle with me?" "My dear, I'm a bit busy with work. Ecco, can you play with her?"

Homeschools the kid in his bunker, because he's too paranoid to let them out

Jeremiah will absolutely insist on his daughter going to university, because education is very important to him

Will help with homework

It's only when something drastic happens (such as his daughter getting injured at school or kidnapped for ransom) that he starts caring more for his baby

"Sweetheart, I know I wasn't the best father when you were growing up. I really do love you. I'm sorry"

He tries to make an effort to spend more time with his daughter, like watching a movie with her or taking her out to eat

Isn't super strict with dating, but he will insist that the boy his daughter is interested in meets up with him first

Jeremiah (post-spray)

It would be a stretch to say that he loves his child. It's more like, in his own very twisted way, he cares about his daughter, but only if she's useful

Is a more hands on father than (pre-spray) Jeremiah. But it's not a good thing because he is just trying to gauge how skilled and intelligent his daughter is

He will absolutely want to know what his daughter's skills are. Is she good at math and science like him? Is she a poet? Is she drawn more to the arts?

Any skill that she has will be utilized for his personal gain

If she doesn't have any talents? She better stay out of his way and not cause any problems

He doesn't care as much about getting an education. After all, why use those brains for college when you can use your intelligence for helping him do crime?

Will make his daughter pull all nighters (because he needs help figuring out how to destroy buildings around Gotham)

"Dad, can I go to sleep now? It's 4 AM." "You can sleep when I successfully take over Gotham."

If a boy likes her, he'll kidnap meet the boy. "You have two choices. Either follow me as your leader, or you die."

If the boy agrees to follow Jeremiah, he will dig up some dirt on the boy's family, or embezzle them for money

"Dad! Please don't hurt him! I love him!" "Sweetheart, anyone who's around my family needs to declare their undying loyalty to me"

[prosciuttulipa]

RAAAAAAH i want a match ngl LMAO

Jjk match because Im a fucking simp, and a guy bcs I am in fact a straight woman thanks

I'm a big nerd. Like, a very big nerd. I do math for fun and I am not ashamed at all when I interrupt someone to correct them (I have autism and ADHD, how could you tell?)

I'm relatively closed off, and most of the time, insecure. I'm shy and I barely ever make the first move (unless I've had a couple of drinks or a lot of eyeliner). I think what people most define me as is the "old soul, young body). I'm like the mom of the group, though I am absolutely reckless when there's another mom in the group, since it takes the responsibility away from me.

I hate going out, and it's really hard to get me to go to the beach, for example. I think my best quality personality-wise is that I'm down to earth and realistic about my goals. A problem is probably how much self-doubt I have, since people constantly tell me I am capable of achieving more than I think I can. I don't settle for seconds, but I'm not too excited when I rech first, because there's always a new competition.

Oh yeah, I'm competitive. Very.

I'm a pessimist, though I like to say it's realism, because why be positive, hype myself up, only for it to go wrong and the disappointment hurt me? As I said, emotionally closed off.

My personality is the infamous black cat, and I think (though I'm not sure), that a golden retriever boy is what would fit me best. (even though I simp for other black cat guys)

For hobbies, I'm boring, though I do have many. I play the guitar, do martial arts (krav maga), draw, sing, write absolutely filthy smut, and, most important of all: do math and study. Yeah, my main hobby is studying.

I'm not sure how I show my love? I don't, usually. I can love someone unconditionally and be absolutely lovesick, but only after a very heavy emotional session, may it be a fight or drinks, will I tell soemone how much they mean to me. I spent the last four years with my best friend, and only after a day's worth of drinking and crying did I tell her how much she meant to me.

I'm a bit icky with physical touch, but if I trust them, I'll let them cling to me. Initially push people away and only after knowing them do I let them hug me, kiss me, cuddle me. I am awful when dealing with compliments, and I cannot take a gift. So probably quality time is my love-receiving language when generally speaking. A boyfriend/husband would probably work with physical touch and words of affirmation, though.

I dont think there's any big turn-off or turn-on in relationships? Maybe not giving me enough attention and helping me emotionally, because I'm easily falling into insecurity, feeling like I'm not enough.

I have like medium curly dark hair and dark eyes. Eyebags, and a lot of moles all over my face. My body is relatively fit? I have a bit of fat ngl but I also have muscles. A bit of a tummy and thicc thighs (they do, in fact, save lives) that double the size when I sit (insecurity alert!) I'm pale, though I am a mixed baby. I dress in all-black most of the time, and all the color variations are like red or dark blue. (I AM NOT EMO). I wear eyeliner from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep and I have pierced ears. I also plan on getting nip piercings and plan on getting

I think i need more songs to listen to, so I'm going with the three songs he associates wit me.

Congratulations! You have been matched with...

Choso Kamo

When people see you and Choso together, they immediately assume that you're just another average emo couple, quick to place stereotypes. But under the heavy eyeliner and dark clothes, are two people who are just trying to figure out life in their own way.

Choso is fascinated by your contradictions: insecure yet quick to correct others, pessimistic but burning with a competitive drive for more. Where some people may see indecision, he sees something much more real and human in comparison to the single-minded characters he's met during his time alive. Living is hard, has experienced it for himself, so he doesn't shun you for your contrasting perspectives. Instead, he wants to learn about the world alongside you, unpicking the way you think, wondering about your insecurities. Although he's been through a lot, there's something inherently innocent and simplistic in the way Choso sees the world. If you're an old soul in a young body, then he's a young soul in an old one. Perhaps by meeting somewhere in the middle, the two of you will get closer to unravelling the mystery that is life.

Choso doesn't mind that you don't like going out, but you often find yourself tagging along as he explores the world in small ways. A trip to the convenience store may as well be a museum visit, with the way he asks you about the products, eyeing them with confusion. He also admires the fact that you study math—to dedicate yourself to understanding anything in such depth is no small feat—and he's happy to sit next to you while you work, occasionally asking questions about your interest in the subject. His most common form of affection is just leaning his head against your shoulder, watching silently as you work.

Dates with Choso are pretty laid back, since he's happy to take the lead on whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn't matter to him where you two are. For him, understanding your mind (and falling in love with the way you think, the way you are) is what matters to him the most.

The Matchmaker's Gift:

Contrary to popular belief, Choso's music taste is rather soft. This song reminds him of the inherent dependence that comes with being connected.

Offering you this song with a curious tilt of his head, Choso asks you if this is how your pessimism feels like.

This is the song Choso uses to confess to you. His feelings are one of the few things he has to his name, and he wants to share them with you.

[peppermint-rat]

I just realized it's officially been ten years since I properly left the mormon church. I don't remember the specific date because it was kind of a "I haven't believed any of this for a while why am I still going" but it did happen in 2013.

Escape-the-cult story time?

So, as I can with a few great things in my life, I can trace it back to a silly little comic series I started sort of by accident. It was about Left 4 Dead, specifically about me just barely escaping death by befriending the infected in cartoonish ways. It kind of really blew up unexpectedly. Suddenly I had an audience. I started doing livestreams and made close friends with many of the viewers.

Were those viewers also mormon? You can bet your ass they weren't. There was a good mix of queerness and transness in there. But everyone was still respectful of my mormon boundaries (kept swearing and really dirty talk to a minimum) so I found it really easy to be respectful back. Suddenly I was friends with a lot of people that the church told me would infect me with their wickedness if I tolerated them for too long. But you know what? Spending time with people different than you, seeing that they're just another human, seeing that they can become valuable people in your life even with the traits you're told to fear, it's very hard to keep thinking of them as wicked. At that point, you have to actively choose to sever these relationships that are making you happy and hammer that prejudice back into your head. And a lot of people do that! But I felt SO happy and SO loved, I just couldn't do it.

And all along in the background, my sister lived in Germany at the time and had a lot of time away from the church. This gave her space to read up on the ACTUAL history of the church and Joe Smith... and she was discussing her findings with me. I didn't really want to believe them, but it got harder and harder to explain things away.

Feeling relaxed around my non-member friends, I start joking like "Isn't it weird that I'm straight but I still get crushes on female characters?" And no one really rushes me to admit I'm queer, but they get really excited when I draw "joke art" of myself with those characters. And after a while, the joke wears off. I admit that these images of me with a woman give me happy fluttery feelings. But then my boyfriend at the time and my judgmental church friend and my other sister sees this, and they Don't Like It. But somehow, I don't end up feeling bad about myself - I feel disappointed that these people would judge me for loving this side of myself. I apologized/asked them not to tell anyone but inside went "You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder."

Started having/drawing lots more queer ships. Was pretty open about my fictional gay crushes. Flirted with my non-member female friends as much as I did my mormon friends, but they could actually flirt back which got me all flustered. And I loved it. I was worried about being queer in the church, but I wasn't worried about my soul. Letting myself be queer brought so much joy and love into my life, it couldn't have been evil.

Besides, it wasn't like I was gonna go out and have a queer relationship. It was all theoretical, right? Which is fine in the church. Hahaha.

Through a friend I made in my streams, I met someone who lived across the street from me. I knew of them, we were in the same graphics class in high school, and we were facebook friends. And I would look at photos of them and think "Man, that's the most beautiful person I've ever seen." But like. Totally not in a gay way, right? I won't be completely smitten with them when we start hanging out, right? Hahaha?

Nope. Instantly head over heels.

I came out as pansexual to everyone I knew. My mom thought it meant I was attracted to inanimate objects. My boyfriend (who looked at porn constantly and dismissed my insecurities about it) got upset because if I figured this out I must have felt attraction to another person, real or fictional (he got upset when he saw a totally sfw drawing of a pretty Homestuck troll in my tumblr likes). My dad said "I guess temple marriage isn't a priority for you anymore", and when I said "I never thought you would say that to me" he said "Neither did I, but here we are." Again, people taking issue with a thing I knew to be wonderful.

My parents sort of came around, at least to the point that they would not give me direct grief for being in a queer relationship. I broke up with my boyfriend (actually because I accepted that he was never going to join the church and we weren't even really friends, so what was the point). I was briefly in a relationship with a transmasc friend because I didn't feel like I could say no, but it's worth mentioning because since they were also Christian, I thought I could be with them and stay in the church, but when I realized that the church would never accept them into the priesthood because they're trans, it was a huge blow to my faith. Yet another "What am I even doing this for if I don't believe in it?"

We broke up because I was still in love with the person across the street. But here's where the shelf broke, so to speak, on my faith. I knew this person liked me too, but I was afraid to be with them, not only because it would be a queer relationship, but because they were a non-member and didn't uphold church standards, which I'd kind of just broken up with my boyfriend for. Remember that judgmental mormon friend I mentioned? I remember venting to her about this over Facebook IM, crying because I wanted to be with this person so badly, but how could it possibly work out? And she said, "It can't. :("

Oh. Ohhh. How fucking dare you.

It can't? Why? Because the church said so, and obviously nothing in life, not even my own happiness, is as important as obeying the church? I swore a blood oath to sacrifice all my happiness to the church or else I would burst into flames? This girl was big on the mormons-policing-mormons thing. Here I am in pain over wanting someone I felt I couldn't have, and she feels that the most important thing to do is make sure I don't entertain further temptation to disobey the church. That's the issue here - your friend is having gay feelings and they need to remember that's not okay.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Fuck you!

My sister and I decided to tell our mom together that we would not go to church anymore. My sister posted about it on Facebook, and our piece of shit brother (12 yrs my senior, would have been 31 at the time) said "Congratulations, I'm sure your parents are really proud of you." Because he's incapable of saying anything not horrendous.

I started dating the person across the street. And the relationship that "couldn't" happen has been going on for ten years now. Still completely head over heels.

Sssssuck on that!!

In short, yes, having lots of non-member friends can and will lead you away from the church, but not with their wickedness. They will show you how wrong you were for thinking that they were wicked, and by extension, how wrong the church is. And if you pull one thread, the whole thing comes apart.

[drdemonprince]

I've never thought about it that way but you're absolutely right that "men's" sex toys seem to be perceived as more perverted than "women's" sex toys. I've noticed that a lot of the independent monster cock makers that are super popular right now tend to neglect making options for people that want penetrable toys and that insertables in general are almost glorified in the current "sex-positivity" climate.

based on the forums it does look like most people who own them fit the "lonely cishet men" stereotype but apparently (according to my boyfriend who introduced me to sex dolls as a Thing) lots of people find that using a doll makes them more confident with real women and that's a benefit I'm certainly hoping for because my confidence with women is... abysmal.

my boyfriend actually owns one of the small cock-sleeve style ones! she's very cute anime-looking but I'm not personally fully comfortable with her because I collect art dolls (nonsexually) that she's a little too close in scale to.

so this is the one I'm getting:

https://dollto-china.com/irontech-silicone-153cm-s29-set-2.html

I'm absolutely in love with her, like literally obsessed she makes my heart flutter and I am so so excited to keep her in my little kink room in the basement. only problem is that she's 80 lbs and almost as tall as me and I am small and weak and will probably need help from my (strong) boyfriend to play with her. but that just motivates me to work out while I wait for her to arrive 😤

thanks for letting me talk about this! I've been pretty shy talking about sex dolls on my blog just because I think they get such a bad rap, I'm almost ashamed? like they're the toy for the truly Perverted™ bad men 🙄

oh my god she is beautiful!!!

It's so fucked up people see sex dolls as creepy or shameful. If cuddling with stuffed animals is okay, and masturbating with toys is okay, and watching porn is okay, why on earth would having sex with a doll be a problem?? I hope you beautiful strawberry blonde motivates you to get those gains my brxther. send me videos of you railing her if you want like forrreal

[hopefulsapphic]

miscellaneous tag game

tagged by @searchingfortheuniverse! tysm i love these things <3

A band you don’t like that many others do: uhh i'm really not a hater and i genuinely do not have that strong of opinions about music and bands, so i really can't think of any right now

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: god i have so many vivid childhood memories it's hard to pick just one. my most vivid memories are probably the ones i have of playing with my twin when we were pretty little. they all tend to blend together, but i can still picture so clearly the castles we built out of soft blocks and the little lego people and toy cars we moved around them like dolls and the stories and scenarios we made up and acted out and the dragon costume in his closet he always tried to scare me with

Least favorite animal and why: insects probably, but only the really annoying little flying ones that buzz so relentlessly and never take the hint when you shoo them off. also whatever wretched little bug bit me in my sleep the other night

Hot fandom take: idk if this means like for a specific fandom or just fandom in general, but either way i don't really think i have any? then again i didn't think that that "steve harrington wasn't a bad person/boyfriend he was literally just 17" post i made a little while ago was a hot take either but apparently it was a little more reactive than i expected

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: i'm literally always wearing jewelry; i've got two hands full of rings that i basically never take off like ever, and it's rare to see me without earrings in and necklaces on. my favorite piece at the moment is probably my little silver bat necklace i got at an antique mall about a year ago

A movie others liked but you didn’t: guys i'm really not a hater. also i tend not to watch movies i just don't have the attention span tbh

Three things you love about yourself: my creativity, my perseverance, my sense of self-expression

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: everywhere, there's so much of the world i haven't seen. more realistically though, i hope to visit my twin in washington sometime this year, probably in the summer

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: again i'm. really not a hater. i tend to be utterly indifferent to like 95% of all celebrities, i just can't care about them enough for them to even be able get on my nerves

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? there are a few alternative music club nights (emo, goth, metal) coming up over this next month and i'm very excited to dress up and go to those with friends!

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: okay now i'm a hater. it's harringrove 😬

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? all fandoms are toxic if you venture far enough or have the misfortune of landing in the wrong corners of the internet, but i think my worst experiences have been in areas of the percy jackson fandom (in the mid 2010s especially; ik it's probably kicking up again now with a new wave of toxic fans but i am living in blissful ignorance of that discourse) and, in more recent years, the stranger things fandom (i've had to narrow my involvement down to basically only one specific ship fandom within it and even then only seek it out on tumblr; tiktok is rancid)

List three things you find beautiful about life: human connection, the art of words and stories, the joy of flowers in the spring after a particularly desolate winter

Any dreams for the future? just the typical stuff really: graduate university (i have one semester left that's insane), move out (for realsies, not just for school), and find myself a solid job and make myself a solid home and be able to be self-sufficient and successful and happy in this world. ideally i also dream of actually finishing and publishing a novel one day

How are you really feeling today? i have not had even three consecutive hours of sleep a night for the past week and it's making me feel just a little bit insane, and i'm a bit anxious about school and about meeting up with a newish friend tomorrow, but overall i actually feel pretty good. i finally feel like i've got real proper friends here in this city and i've been seeing them a lot lately, so that's been buoying an overarching sense of positivity despite my sleep deprivation and anxiety

tagging @turquoiseorchid and @rainbowteri if you feel like it! and if anyone else wants to do this too, consider yourselves tagged also; live your dreams, overshare on the internet 🫶🏻

[soft-bellied-tannies]

SBT Little Bite #23

Jimin picked up the phone after seeing Taehyung’s name on the screen. “Hey, baby.” 

“Guess who is already a winner!” Taehyung called out loudly without even saying hello.

After jumping slightly from the sudden noise, Jimin realized what his boyfriend had said and switched the call over to FaceTime. “Really, already? You’ve only been there for two days.”

Taehyung laughed, his boxy smile and chubby cheeks on full display. “I told you, Minnie. I knew it was going to happen.” 

Jimin walked over to the fridge and pulled a piece of paper down from where it was hung up, grabbing a pen on the counter and propping up his phone on the fruit bowl. “Okay, list them off.” 

“First thing Appa said today was that I am looking pretty healthy and then my sister said it must be all the takeout in Seoul,” Taehyung said with an excited tone while looking down at his own copy he packed in his bag. 

“Got it, what’s next?” Jimin said as he crossed things off. 

“Eomma said that you must be a good cook and that I’m being spoiled since we moved in together in the same sentence. I almost started laughing, she just kept going,” Taehyung replied, watching as Jimin scanned the paper with a smile. 

“I mean, are we surprised? Your mom is adorable,” Jimin said, looking up to see his boyfriend focused on him. “Keep going, babe.” 

Taehyung nodded. “Right, so then my grandmother got here and she just absolutely has no filter anymore. She looked at me and said, ‘I hope I made enough cookies. Look at you, sweetheart.’ Min, seriously, I was dying."

Jimin started laughing, finding the entire explanation hilarious as his boyfriend predicted this perfectly. “Any suggestions for the gym?” 

“Oh, my uncle said he could get a few names in Seoul if I wanted a membership and my cousin asked if I was bulking. Plus, my aunt, what a gem, gave me the little ‘everyone gets comfortable when they're happy and in love’ speech. They are all fixated on it.”

“So, which one was the winner?” Jimin asked, seeing a few places where it could hit. 

Taehyung started to laugh and looked at his boyfriend through the screen. “My sister asked what you thought of ‘my new look’ and how much money we spend on food.”

Jimin quickly made a line through one of the diagonal rows and threw his hands up. “Bingo!” 

Taehyung watched him do a little celebratory dance after completing their ‘things my family will say about my weight gain’ bingo card. 

It was a joke at first, but they really did hit every word he thought they might say. He hadn’t been home in over a year and a half between the end of their senior year at SNU, starting grad school, and his art museum apprenticeship. 

Since then Taehyung had moved in with Jimin, they had adopted a dog, and he had finally told Jimin about a certain interest of his - the reason why he also returned home carrying just about sixty pounds more than he did the last time they saw him. 

Fast forward to where Taehyung was now - he was sitting on his childhood bed during the Christmas holiday, anticipating not only his return to Seoul for his birthday but what his boyfriend will inevitably have in store for him as a prize for their little game. 

“Well, this calls for a celebration. You will be home this weekend which means I have things to prepare,” Jimin said with a suggestive smile. Taehyung had really gotten lucky with Jimin, he told himself that every day. 

Thinking about the feast Jimin would have waiting for him, Taehyung’s smile grew wider. “I can’t wait, baby.”

[smolgirlowo]

semi-live blogging riverdale with my friends [S7xE3]

'she claims that the milk man killed her parents' god we are so back

alice and hal fighting about adopting the girl who's parent's just died, normal husband and wife behaviour

oh shit new establishing shot for blossom manor

'mother i am far too busy for boys' 'doing what? painting naked ladies?' 'MOTHER!' *walks away*, love how gay cheryl just is. she is also eating a vagina shaped fruit in this scene.

get dumped ronnie. archie can do better than you

'pta approved sexual reproduction lecture' yeah that's what I want after i witness a murder

i fucking hate julian man. unfortunate for him that archie doesn't know what sex is

'i had a feeling it might razz your berries' i hate the 1950s

playing 'i wish i didn't love you so' over a scene of two gay men flirting, iconic

cheryl can't even pretend to be interested in archie.

MEAT GRINDER MOMENT

'i was mad at my parents for not letting me see The Tingler' [INCREADIBLY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]. thought you could put a 1959 reference in 1955 and get it past me, writers? probably, but not this one.

black character: 'a very clear and direct poem about america being racist' white character: 'it's art, it doesn't have to mean anything.' god really hope these kids aren't on a divine mission to solve racism cause the don't see very qualified to do it

HOLY SHIT DOES CHERYL WANT TO FUCK TONI SO BAD

oh no cheryl don't try kissing a boy it won't make you straight, oh god no she's crying

CHAPTER 6: AROUSAL

BETTY IN THE FUCK DIMENSION. EVERYONE IN THE FUCK DIMENSION.

"what the fuck, what am I watching?" "METAPHOR" love my friends

WHY IS CHERYL IN THE BACKGROUND OF VERONICA'S SEX DREAM???

"it's art, betty, it doesn't have to make sense."

kevin has almost learned what racism is, betty is horny beyond belief. glad to see they both had productive nights

"this show is so fucking nothing. it's everything. it's poetry in motion."

me when teaching sex ed with the common American flower.

I am a 6 on the Kingsley scale, apparently.

'i am going to host a make-out party' 'what's that, an orgy' gay men cannot be trusted with language

STOP WITH THE FLOWERS AND BEES METAPHORS

'you wanna have gay sex?' 'i have a boyfriend!' *leaves* I love cheryl so much

iconic jughead behaviour: 'you are an odd duck jughead, aren't you? a loner.' 'I'M NOT WEIRD! I'M NOT A WEIRDO! I'M GOING TO A MAKE-OUT PARTY!'

boner music. boner music. love the boner music.

'hey betty, you know that um... sex book.' i don't think the writers know what the kinsey reports are.

betty and archie already doing role play on date -1

ARCHIE GOT A BONER!!!! BONER CANNON!!!

FANGS DON'T YOU DARE KISS CHERYL! THAT'S YOUR BEST FRIENDS/ex-wife in another timeline's SOUL MATE!

kevin does not know what a kiss is. JUG KISS, JUG DOING A KISS! BUGHEAD MOMENT! THEY HAVEN'T MET BEFORE???

'i think i got you're gum' 'keep it' i would never talk to ronnie every again.

TONI DON'T YOU DARE KISS JULIAN! THAT'S YOUR SOUL MATES TWIN BROTHER! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE A GIRL JEALOUS!

jughead and veronica moment! they do not know how to speak to each other! it's adorable.

>we have started talking about the tickle porn arc, it has nothing to do with what's going beyond the fact that we are insane and the show is insane<

oh shit ronnie and jughead? are we setting up ronnie and jughead for some reason? they have the same favourite horror movie, how cute.

kevin is scared to even touch a girl, i love him so much.

'you're not excited' *looks at flaccid dick*. god, kevin, stop trying to pretend you're straight, you're really bad at it.

oh god cheryl. OH GOD. oh god, you are much better at faking being straight.

"archie got hot" "archie got hot" "archie got hot"

jesus cheryl. I can't even tell if you're torturing your mom or if you actually had sex with archie.

oh no, betty gave kevin the guide to human sexuality. oh no he's going to learn he's gay. I mean good for him, but i'm so sorry betty.

more ronnie and jughead setup? OH NO, jughead is going to jail for murder.

[purpleyoonn]

i haven’t been on in a hot minute because life is overwhelming. but i see you have so many new fics that i need to get started on!!! omg so excited to read more from you.

update on me: my mom and i are going through my grandmothers things finally. it’s very… surreal at times. cause it’s just like “wow she’s really gone”. but also i’m learning more about my grandmother and i thought i knew a lot about her. and also classes are taking a toll. i’m in three different writing courses: contemporary art history (it’s a lot of academic writing), fiction, and creative nonfiction. plus two arts: print media and a print making class. i mean don’t get me wrong i’m actually loving my classes but i am so overwhelmed. the course work is exhausting and ugghhh. on top of everything depression has started to try and kick in which is so not fun. i was doing so well too 😭

anyway, i hope you are having a good day and you have a restful weekend!! it’s been storming all day today which has made my little depressed spell worse 🥴 i’ve missed escaping through your writing so i’m glad to be back!! -✍🏻

to be honest, I think I haven't answered this ask yet because im kind of jealous. im so happy that you got to actually go through your grandmothers things and be able to cherish those memories.

I didn't get that with my mother, unfortunately. when she passed, my grandmother, before my sisters and I could even like, actually come to terms with my moms passing, went through everything, claiming it was all hers or something she had given my mom. we didn't get any jewelry or clothes or anything. we were "saved" by my moms boyfriend who had kept her bag of things from when she was in the hospital the night-ish before. so I got the necklace my mom wore for years, adding additions on as time went by, my older sister got her favorite sweatshirt, and my younger sister got her favorite blanket. that is literally all we have left of our mom. besides her ashes.

im so happy that classes are going good though! I wish I could have taken more art classes in college, but I tend to think differently than my teachers and have almost had beef with every art teacher ive ever had. I have a love of using pen and ink as a medium, and I love sketching. I also have gotten into painting.

fun fact, ive never taken a creative writing course...like ever. I don't like being told what to do, and in being told to write like a poem or a non fiction piece, I would have rather gouged my eyes out. I also didn't like that I would be judged on my writing and graded on if I "fit the criteria" assigned to me. like its a creative writing course why am I being graded on my creativity??

I hope you like the new stories/chapters ive put out and im sorry I didn't answer this sooner🥺

[writtenbytsuki]

“life-long” friendships

I’ve moved schools 3 times in the span of 5 years.

Ever since I was a kid, I was told that I’d make life-long friends in high school, in college and maybe even before that. I always had my hopes up, being as me as I could be cause they’ll “love me for who I am,” right?

Soon I was in high school and as far as I knew, these people I’ve known since the first grade were the oh so coveted life-long friends I’d always dreamt of. I mean we made it through grade school, so why not? But that was short lived, I ended up being the girl people only hung out with out of pity, or boredom, or even just to feel better about themselves.

I was never invited to birthday parties, unless it was in school of course. I never got invited out. I never really felt part of anything. Then it came. The worst part of the high school experience, the bullying, the rumors.

Now in 8th grade, what I had always feared finally came true. People hated the real me. I was too weird for the Christian school I had grown to love and soon, I was alone again. After the rumors, many of which had people calling me a slut or a man-stealer, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I ran. I moved schools.

I was excited again. I thought “this is where I’ll find my life long friends.” I mean I knew a few people already, one of which was a guy I’ve known and loved since the 5th grade, someone I knew would be in my life forever. Oh how naive I was.

My excitement didn’t last for long. Of course, the first year or two that I was there, I felt loved, I had my first real boyfriend and he was someone I’d liked forever. But soon, it all had to come crashing down. Right? My life seemed too perfect. I had the perfect lover, perfect friend group, perfect personality.

Then it came. The only thing I knew would be permanent in my life, my downfall. My ex accused me of cheating, I got called a slut, a whore, a f*g, and every other name I could be called, I got hit, I got isolated and worst of all, I lost my “life-long friends.”

Once again, I ended up alone. At this point, I couldn’t take it, I thought I was the problem. Maybe my personality isn’t what they wanted. Maybe I was a slut. So I fed into it. I became more promiscuous, I became what they all wanted me to be. I came in, talking about a different guy every week, showing my male classmates my nudes, folding up my skirt, wearing more makeup than anyone else dared to. But eventually I got tired of being alone, I was all I had. I knew life-long friendships were never in the cards for me and I’d be the only permanence I had. So I left again.

At this point, all the excitement that was there left me. I knew it would all be the same. Luckily, this time I chose an art school instead of a Christian one. Unluckily, all of my time there was online because of the pandemic and I wasn’t really able to make connections with my classmates, but hey at least I didn’t have to eat alone anymore.

In my 12th grade, places were starting to open up again. I made friends with some of my school-mates, we went partying every now and then, but it was only ever just that. A party friendship. Not one where we’d check up on each other, not one where we’d hang out on our free days, but one where we’d ask if they’re free only because we wanted to drink that night. At least I wasn’t so alone anymore, right?

Then college rolls around. I gave up making life-long friends. At this point, I gave up making friends in general. Sure I went out, hung out with people I knew, called them my friends, but I knew deep down that we were both using each other. They get a place to hang out, free w**d and a pretty girl to call their friend, and I get to feel not so lonely.

I knew we weren’t friends to be friends because they only texted back when I texted first. They only reached out if they needed a place to chill at. They only talked to me if they needed something. Then again, who am I to deny company?

Eventually, I felt like I did make friends. I felt like I had the chance to have life-long friends again. I had people I was hanging out with everyday, I had to make room in my weeks to fit all my friend groups in, but slowly I started to be alone again. They got too busy for me.

“I’m busy today, but we’ll hang out soon I promise.”

I always believed them until it became too frequent. I believed them until I saw them hanging out with people they didn’t even really like too much. I believed them until I gave up.

Life-long doesn’t seem to be so long for me anymore.

[liiakei]

realization about career and things

hi it's me again but this ain't a rant post but a grief post about my passion lmao

I'm currently facing another existential crisis, but a much heavier one than I had the last time.

This is about the career that I'm facing right now. I must say that I do have an art-related career as a freelancing artist. I really do love being an artist; it is an amazing way to express myself for who I am and, at the same time, to work through the use of digital art. Yes, I enjoyed it a lot. It made me learn a lot, but I think the passion disappeared without me noticing it. Nah, I'm kidding. Maybe it's because of the progression of AI technology. Consumers are slowly trying to grasp the importance of AI nowadays. They get to save time and money because of AI, and that results in slowly killing the jobs of others, including mine as an artist.

I usually had frequent customers on Fiverr last year, but right now it is just so hard to gain one unless I put on huge discounts to my rate. Aside from that, the reason why my passion for art is slowly fading away is because I always think about the future of AI. I started to think about lots of "what ifs.". 

What if AI became better at generating art? What if AI knew how to animate with just one click, just like on the Adobe Photoshop AI Generator? What if people liked AI more than actual artists' skills? What if my clients shift to AI and ignore me instead? And so many what-ifs about the future of this

With that way of thinking, I started to lose my passion for drawing. I could be wrong, or maybe I could be right about the "future". Who knows? 

Right now, I'm thinking of shifting my career path while it's still early. I'm thinking about studying in college again. But of course, I have no one to help me with the cost of studying again. However, this helps me build up my passion again, but on a different path. I know this sounds crazy, but somehow it makes me excited (for nothing, lol). I might be craving new knowledge, even though most people say that medical courses are too difficult.

I'm 26 and want to study again. The problem that I have right now is my financial status. I don't have someone to help me finance my studies, but I am capable of earning, of course. Although my earnings go to the bills in the house because we're not so rich and the expenses are non-stop eating us, I also have a boyfriend, but he told me not to rush over marriage and family because he's not ready to have children. LOL, though I haven't told him yet that I plan to study again.

My family is in a financial crisis. We have loans to pay, debts, and bills non-stop. My parents are both senior citizens, not earning anymore. My brother has taken over the business; he earns, but the profit just goes to our loans and debts. My sister has two daughters; both are studying and separated, and my other sister is married and has separated herself from our home. It's hard.

To summarize all of this, All I just want to say is that I'm not passionate about my job anymore and am scared that AI might kill my career someday. To take my passion back, maybe I should study in college again and follow my childhood dream of becoming a doctor.

I'm on the verge of deciding whether I should start studying again or stop being a delulu.

PS: by the way I want to study Vet Medicine because I love pets and I want to know MORE about them lolol