#WHO DID THIS TO YOUUU MY SWEET SUMMER CHILD

[pingvin-king]

me peacefully playing ZZZero: *sees a Bangboo in need*

[sweetshire]

HI FRIEND (even though this is text I am waving so fast at you)

I hope you’re doing well! A couple questions but also please take this as a chance to talk about what you think is cool. Ok two questions: who is your fav lotr character?? If that’s too hard, maybe top 5? I am such a Sam fan, I love that silly little guy. I also love pippin. And I also love merry. And I also love Frodo. Can you tell I like hobbits.

Ok question 2: do you have a favorite sherlock holmes story? And do you have a favorite adaptation?

Secret third question: do you have a hobby that is not your favorite but that you do enjoy doing? Like if it’s on your list, one that’s solidly in the middle?

Ok that’s it!!! Thank you for being in my notifs, it always fills me with joy to see you there hehe <3

*waves back* HEYYY FRIEND AM I GLAD TO SEE YOUUU!! i was thinking about just yesterday bc GUESS WHO FINISHED READING E.W’S encyclopaedia of faeries? me! i did! this was goood. sweet and wholesome and utterly charming <3 and exactly the kind of book i needed to read atp, given that the next few books on my tbr are mostly classics or hard-hitters. u were so right they ARE giving howl & sophie!! these delightful fuckers- they have me squealing & smiling all day 🥺🥰

1. u should know that this is too hard a question for me & when u ask me anything abt lotr i could ramble for centuries but i’ll refrain from listing every one of my beloved characters, which includes the minor ones too obvsly because i’m me :) anyhow! woo *quivers excitedly* here i go: first would be a tie between frodo and denethor- i physically cannot (& will not) choose. also lmao SUCH a contrast in both their, well, character - lol well done, me! (yet they’re soo similar too. yes i find parallels between their narratives AND everything else as well what of it) then in no particular order- eowyn, faramir, boromir (basically all the gondor men <3), legolas, & as u know i adore the hobbits. all four of them -um 5, including bilbo- but MERRY!! i hate to see him brushed aside & unappreciated. justice for merry, and frodo too!! what selfless, sacrificing, lovely dear hobbits *cries* OH OH AND I ADORE SAMWISE TOO i’d be a fool not to. there’s not a person who’s capable of not loving him. no doubt i’ll be cursing myself later for forgetting other dear ones…

2. charles augustus!! god i’m obsessed w the milverton case. what doesn’t it have?? a master blackmailer. a lady killer (she slays -literally ajdksf). hand-holding. h&w being not at all hesitant abt committing a crime - a master detective who’s always used to solving one!! delicious.. it’s the story™ which perfectly captures the true essence of holmes’ character imho. and ‘a study of scarlet’ ofc. irene adler (nee norton) queen i love u. big shoutout to ‘the copper beaches’ also. i like all the stories with the ladies

3. hmm i do! fav one is - u guessed it - reading. to answer ur question: i looove doing henna!! every summer without practice i’d practice it on any hand i could find. i’m an amateur but still i like it. i haven’t been able to do it this summer :( on account of. me & my whole family has been sick/unwell in some way since the past month & a half or so. but i’m planning on applying mehendi or do a painting soon!! (i also liked to collect coins/stamps/buttons or some such as a child - i habit i’m always in danger of relapsing into but shh)

[zu-is-here]

Late answer~ XD

Yeah the weather's nice

My new oc is Toddh, not a child for once XD.

Yes my dad is the one taking care of our garden! 🏵️ Oh! S!Dream birthday is today? Funny indeed °^°

It's gonna be a hard year because it's my last in that university and I already had quite a hard time studying this year. I'll have to be far less active here I guess 😞

The Owl's house is about a girl, Luz, considered as weird by a lot of people. Her mom decided to send her to a boring summer camp with the hope it'll make her more "normal". But instead of going to the camp as she promised she would, she crossed a door who lead her to a world full of demons, monsters and witches of all sort. She met a powerful witch and a lil' demon that ask her for help.

She decides she wanna be a witch and starts living there. But that world isn't always that cool and welcoming, so many adventures.

It has a cute canon lesbian ship.

I think it's worth it just for that scene where they dance and fight as the same time ❤️

Late reply (>3<) (sorry—)

Oh wow! (*'▽'*) He looks so serious but the facts speak for themselves <3 It's so nice to see how big your own universe is getting *^*

Awww that's so sweet! (*´꒳`*) So many birthdays lately :D How did you celebrate his??

Don't worry, you're gonna get used to it so it won't be that hard for you, I believe! (ówò) Everything's gonna be great <3

OHHH this one sounds really cool! \(//∇//)\ And the scene looks amazing ☆ How many episodes are there for now? Gotta watch sometime *w*

UPD:

(heheh I agree <3)

Your imagination never ceases to amaze me, so original *^* Omg 3 new kids! \(//∇//)\ Looking forward to them <3

Awww family lunch! (〃ω〃) Guess that still was so warm and cozy ♪

Thank youuu! And have a good time watching it ☆

I'm doing great, thanks! <3 OH as for the movies, the latest one I (re)watched was Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole ♡ Have You watched this one?

And what about you? *^*

[lightningclaw288]

Starry Night

Warning: Alcohol use, mentions of Alcohol, Characters are age up, mentions of cheating/assumption of cheating, Characters are aged up

Pairing: Akaashi x fem reader

Jealous reader, shy reader?,insecure reader? 

Meanings: (f/d) means favorite drink in this case your favorite type of beer, alcohol and that stuff. (f/n) means friend name.

Word count: 2,341

(y/n) Pov

I was nervous. “Hey, Keiji how do I look?” My boyfriend looked at me with a small smile. 

“Perfect. Now come down love. We're just going to meet my friends.” He replied softly.  

“But what if they don’t like me?” I mumbled softly. Akaashi chuckled. 

“(y/n) look at me. You’ve already met most of them.” He did have a point. 

“Alright. I’m ready, let's go.” I replied. We intertwined our hands as we walked out the door. The cool breeze rushed to great us. We walked quietly to the car.  

“Hey (y/n)?” I hummed. “In your dreams do you ever think of us like. You know.” A light blush forming on Keiji’s face. Cute I thought. 

“Think of us like what Keiji?” I asked. Now a full visible blush on his face. Can this man get any cuter than he already is? “Think of us getting married and having kids?” He mumbled. I looked at my boyfriend of 6 years. I blush now forming on my cheeks. How was I supposed to answer this question? I really wanted to scream YES. But If I said yes he could think I’m creepy. If I said no then he may think I don’t love him or I don’t want to settle down with him.  “Y-you don’t have to answer the question if you don’t want” He quickly added. “Yes.” My boyfriend looked at me confused. I continued. “ I do dream of us getting married and having kids” I mumbled.  He sighed softly and continued to drive. 

Time Skip

“Just relax babe and if you need something or want to go home come find me.” I chuckled softly.  “Keiji I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl. Now go have fun.” I chuckled.  Keiji chuckled as he intertwined his hand with mine as we walked into the club. 

When we walked into the club I immediately saw Yukie and Koari by a corner of the bar. There was a table for 3 in the corner.  ( do bars have tables? Idk never been to one. If there isn’t one then plz pretend)Keiji noticed them too and gave a soft nod. I walked up to them as Keiji walked up to his former teammates.  

“Yo (y/n), hhhow arrrre youuu?”. Yukie slurred.

“Hey Koari, I’m good. How many bottles have you had?” I asked, chuckling. 

“That’s her first,” Koari answered. 

“How have you two been?” I asked. 

“We’re doing pretty good.” 

“Have you done the “thing” yet?” I asked. Koari blushed. 

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” She replied.  (Also for this story the “thing” isn’t sex . I’m srry to disappoint you all but it’s not sex. And yes for this story Koari and Yukie are dating because why not. I don’t ship them but I thought it would fit the story).

“Whatsss the “thing”?” Yukie asked. 

“Something,” Koari answered. “Say (y/n)-san did Akaashi do the  “thing”to you?” I flushed. 

“N-no why? I m-mean it might happen-n soon. Idk” I replied.  As I started to nervously play with my hands/fingers. Koari laughed. At my response.

“Hmm I guess Akaashi would have  done it by now conjuring the fact you’ve been dating since college.  Anyway want a drink, I’m going to get one?”.  

“Sure, why not. Can you get (f/d)”/”No thanks, I don’t drink” I replied ( I wanted to add a different thing for people who don’t drink because not everyone does) 

Koari ordered and came back with two (f/d)s.  “ Thanks”. I said as I got my drink from her. I took a sip. “So-” 

“HEY HEY HEY LOOK WHO’S HERE”. A man-child yelled. He had black and white hair that was spikey( I have no idea how to explain  Bokuto’s hair help me and don’t hate me plz). I face palmed. I was going to continue my sentence when I heard a familiar chuckle. I looked to my left as I found to my shock the Akaashi Keiji chuckling in public. I smiled. Guess he was starting to show his emotion a little bit freely in public. I turned around to 

face Koari and Yukie. 

“Who’s that?” I asked. 

Koari answered “That’s Bokuto Koutarou.  He was the ace for our team in Akaashi’s second year.“

“Him and Akaashiiii were reallyy close too. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were dating back then” Yukie added on.  I just nodded. Something started to bother me. A tiny voice just a what if. What if they did date back then? What if Keiji still loves Bokuto-san. What if I’m not good enough for him?

“Hey (y/n), everything ok?” Koari asked worriedly. I nodded. 

“I’m fine.” I replied. I chugged down my drink. I wanted to have fun today and I told Keiji I didn’t need him to worry about me.  I decided to drink away my worries. ( I’m sorry if you don’t drink alcohol I’m going to keep this part. (f/d) normally means favorite drink. I have no idea what a bar sells other than they have alcohol so choose something else I guess).“Hey Yukie, want to see who can drink the most?”. There was no way I was going to win but it would be fine. 

“OI I’m not going to be the only one that isn’t sober and has to keep an eye on you guys.” Koari replied. 

“Then join us.” Yukie and I replied in sync. 

“But then who will keep an eye on the guys and you two?”. She replied. 

“The sky,” Yukie replied. Her lover face pamed.

“Soo are you going to join us or not? I mean we could only drink 3 cups and call it quits.” I said, smirking.  Yukie joined me “ Orr we could drink 3 bottles and call it quits.” Koari put her hands up. Surdering. 

“Fine. Just one cup tho.” She replied. We all laughed. 

“I’ll go get it (f/d).” Yukie called.  

Mini time skip

We all got a cup and poured a  (f/d) in it. 

“3”

“2”

“1”

“Go”

We all started chugging out drinks. Koari stopped after 8 cups. I went to 12 . Which means Yukie won. We ended up finishing the 3 bottles we got. I volunteered to go get some more. It was probably the most fun I’ve had since  my last date with Keiji. 

He had been busy for the past two to three months.  He come home late and went to work early. He’s been acting strangely too. It wasn’t anything big but it did worry me at times. I shook my head. Think positive. 

I was walking through the crowd when I saw Keiji with ex-teammates talking and having fun. Something that stuck out to me was Bokuto had his hands on his thighs. It’s fine. Keiji said Bokuto could be really touchy and doesn't have the concept of person space. I  continued on my way to the bar.  I bumped into someone. I fell to the ground. Baka watch where you're going. I got up and brushed my dress. I got and bowed. “Gomen (sorry).” I replied.  The guy who bumped into was a good looking man around 2 years older than me. Keiji was definitely better. I must have won the boyfriend lottery. So I thought. 

”tch watch where you're going.” He replied. He looked me up and down. I rubbed my arm nervously. “Say how about we get a drink you and me? I mean you did bump into me.” 

“No thanks I have somewhere to go.” I replied briskly and walked away. He grabbed my arm. “I don’t take a no for an answer.” He replied. I tugged my hand out of his grasp. “Leave me alone.” I replied. I was a bit surprised that he let me go easily. Then I saw him talk to someone familiar. Then the guy walked up to me. I quickly recognized him. 

“(f/n)?” I asked. 

“Yo, (y/n). What are you doing here?” he asked. 

“I’m here with my boyfriend and his friends.” I replied “What about you?”   I asked.

“Me and my friends come here often. Also sorry about my friend he’s um a little I guess edgy might be the word.” We laughed. My phone lit up. There was a text from Yukie.

Where are you??

I sighted. “Hey (f/n) I gtg I told my friends I’d grab drinks and be back.” He nodded. I was about to walk away. 

“Hey (f/y) do you maybe want to meet up later? L-like a date or something?”. (f/n) was kind and sweet but he wasn’t Akaashi. And Akaashi is the only man I want to be with. “Sorry (f/n) I have a boyfriend, we could still meet up tho.”I offered. 

“Yeah that seems nice” He replied. “ You might also want to go get those drinks”.I nodded and  walked  to the bar. I felt bad for (f/n) but I didn’t love him. I ordered and paid for  3 more (f/d).  

 I was walking back when I saw something I didn’t want to see. After everything. There was my boyfriend of 6 years kissing his best friend and his ex-teammate Bokuto Koutarou. I dropped the drinks by accident. I just wanted to get out of there and drink more with Yukie and Koari. Talk to Keiji about it tomorrow. The drink hit the ground with a loud bang. 

The two broke the kiss. Akaashi eyes found mine. The first thing his  eyes were the first part of him so show any  emotion.  First fear then worry. He was about to call my name and reached for my hand.  I ran out of the club. I’ll come and clean the mess later. 

I ran. I didn’t know where I was going, I just let my feet carry me. When I  stopped running after some time. I took out my phone and messaged Yukie  an Kaori about what happened. Then I turned my phone off. I just wanted to be alone now. I knew the beach. It’s where Keiji and I went during the summer. I whipped my eyes. It didn’t help. The tears come on after another.

 I felt numb. Wasn’t I enough? Did he not love me? Did I do something wrong? Is it how I look? How I eat? The way I sleep? Do I take up to much of the blanket? What is it? What did I do wrong? I laid on the sand. The only I could hear was the waves and crickets.”It’s starry night isn’t it?Just look at the stars, they are always there at night if you look for them. No matter if anyone can see them or not there. And when you can see them there they are shiny , bright and beautiful.” That’s what my dad would have said. I just looked up at them. I’ll pack my stuff and stay with my parents tomorrow. Till I can get an apartment in Tokyo.

 I heard footsteps. I turned to see my boyfriend. Tears streaming down his pretty  face. He was breathing heavily. He must have chased after me when I ran out. “(y/n) I-” I cut him off. 

“Shouldn't you be at the party with him, with your friends?” I asked. He sat down and tried to hug me. I slapped his hand away. He looked like a kicked puppy. I hated it. I didn’t want to hurt him. Be strong. I told myself to be strong. 

“(y/n) please let me explain.” I looked at him, waiting. “It was an accident. This guy shoved me on to  him. I swear I didn’t mean to kiss him and you come right after. Y-you saw us kiss. I got scared. Please don’t leave-” I interrupted him. I felt like an idiot. I kissed him. It was a nice gentle kiss. It ended too soon for my liking. Why do we need air?

I looked him in the eye “I’m sorry  I shouldn’t have assumed you cheated. I love you” I whispered. He smiled and hugged me.” Come one let’s go back everyone going to be worried. Plus I need to clean up the mess and I need to apologize so Bokuto-san.” I chuckled. I allied on his chest. “5 minutes that’s it” I replied. He smirked. 

“sure.” 

“That can wait.” Keiji replied.We sat there in silence.After ten or more minutes. We heard more footsteps. I turned around to see the rest of keiji’s ex-teammates. “(Y/N)-SANNN DON’t BREAK UP WITH AGGKAAASHI HE LOVES YOU!” Bokuto-san screamed.I chuckled. 

“Don’t worry, Bokuto-san we’re not breaking up, Keiji explained everything. Also I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed you two were together.” I replied. 

“That’s ok (y/n)-san. Know can we get more drinks??” Bokuto-san asked. Everyone laughed. 

“You guys go ahead, we'll join you in a minute” Keiji called.

Mini time skip 

Keiji  got up. “Come (y/n) it’s been 20 minutes since we said we’d come.” He replied. I chuckled. He offered me his hand and I took it.  I brushed the sand of my dress. “One last thing before we go.” He got down on one knee and took out a box from his pocket. 

“(Y/n) we’ve been dating for 6 years. You mean everything to me. You’ve been through the ups and downs in my life. So will you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me (y/f) (l/n)?” 

Extra:

“Keiji did the “thing” FINALLY.” Keep ur head down Koari we can’t see. 

“Did she say yes?”. “Yes Bokuto she said yes.” “Akaashi’s swinging her around. And know their kissing.” “move Kohna I want to see”. “Outch.” 

Author note:

Yo how is everyone? I know I haven’t been able to update a lot and I’m sorry about that. I normally don’t write stuff because the don’t normally do well. I had this idea and wanted to put it in paper. Anyway I hope you enjoyed it if you read this far 😂. I didn’t have a certain age I wanted the characters to be but they could be sometime time from second year of collage to young adult if anyone wanted to know. Anyway have a great day/night.

-Lightning

[ddearddigitalddiary]

folklore: Stoned Favorites

It’s been just about 48 hours since Queen Taylor surprised us with TS8 entitled folklore. This album was born out of quarantine and is becoming her highest critically acclaimed album yet. She’s fucking amazing, magical, powerful, etc. I’ve had a few listen throughs to digest it, but I’m still processing all of its beauty. It has quickly become a favorite. Taylor somehow has this power where she drops an album that is lined up perfectly to the events I’m going through in my personal life. Maybe I’m just finding how it relates to me and seeing myself in the album, but that’s the beauty of it anyways. Going through a tough breakup, living through a global pandemic, society is literally never going back to something we knew... It’s all a bit much. And Ms. Swizzle has put words to my deepest feelings, and as always helped me feel and heal. 

Here are my favorite parts of the beautiful, whimsical, mystical album that is folklore:

the 1: (this one hurts a little much for me right now...) we never painted by the numbers baby, but we were making it count, you know the greatest loves of all time are over now / in my defense i have none for never leaving well enough alone, but it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

cardigan: (first of the love triangle, Taylor freaking Swift. this entire song is so beautiful. one of my faves and i cried the first time i heard it) i knew you stepping on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain I,  I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy I, I knew you leaving like a father, running like water I, and when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I’d knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s, the smell of smoke would hang around this long, cause I knew everything when I was young

the last great american dynasty: (a sweet little bop. i love this one. Taylor’s voice is so pretty. this guitar is *chefs kiss*) she had a marvelous time ruining everything / [the entire bridge!!!!] there goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen, i had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile: (again, this one hurts right now. a bit relevant.) you’re not my homeland anymore, so what am i defending now? / (pretty much Taylor’s whole verse because freaking ouch - it’s describing my heart space right now) i think i’ve seen this film before, so I’m leaving out the side door / cause you never gave a warning sign - i gave sooo many signs

my tears ricochet: (hearing this song with the framing of it being about B*g M*****e is so sad, heartbreaking, powerful) cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, til my dying day, i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace (and then really the whole entire rest of the song.) /  WHEN I’M SCREAMING AT THE SKYYY... YOU HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIIIIES

mirrorball: (this one feels like 80′s prom or something, i’m in love) *hushh*  when no one is around my dear, you’ll find me on my tallest tip toes, spinning in my highest heels love, shining just for youuu

seven: (this one makes me feel like i’m in a grassy meadow, while of course swinging on a tree, with a light summer breeze) sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won’t tell no other / love you to the moon and to saturn / (STRINGS) 

august: (another love triangle song, and it’s my favorite of the moment i think... i think. it also hurts a little bit because of my love life heart space ): ) i remember thinking i had you, but i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment in time, cause he was never mine, and i can see us twisted in bed sheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine, cause you were never mine / (and the fact that there’s beautiful flutes noticeable to me and beautiful saxophone is just super convenient for my feelings as well. also, beautiful fade out, *chefs kiss*)

this is me trying: (this beat going into the song goes hard. guess what - song again hits me like a truck. it’s like what i would want him to say to me. i picture it’s fairly similar to what he’s going through. who knows.) so i got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad, i have a lot of regrets about that 

illicit affairs: (these guitars are like hugging my ears) take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial high, a drug that only worked the first few hundred times (that line in particular hits) / don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me, you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else, and you know damn well for you i would ruin myself a million little times

invisible string: (again, guitars hugging the ears :). and of course, this song gives me hope for whatever, whoever could be out there for me. her runs are angelic) bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to la / time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine~ / one single thread of gold tied me to you / hell was the journey but it brought me heaven / give me the blues and the purple pink skies, baby it’s cooool with meeeee! (so many Lover references in these lines! I’m in love!)

mad woman: (i’m in love with this song as well. like another version of the Man, aka don’t fuck with me. i’m in love with the entire chorus and her voice and the piano) what do you sing on your drive home, do you see my face in the neighbor’s lawn, does she smile or does she mouth fuck you forever / no one likes a mad woman, you made her like that... / women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you

epiphany: (the production of this song is so angelic and peaceful yet the lyrics are haunting and i get sad every time i listen to it. the parallel between the war and the pandemic is rough and sad. this song is a different kind of hurt) hold your hand through plastic now, doc i think she’s crashing out, and some things you can’t speak about *and then the moment of silence with horns*...

betty: (the last of the triangle. this is the one that is so beautiful and heartbreaking and hopeful? maybe not hopeful it’s more the nostalgia factor of it all for me that just because of the breakup stage i’m in right now is what makes it heartbreaking... one day it will be more beautiful and i can smile to it with a longing and gratuitous embrace... also a bop, ALSO reminds me of country Taylor and it’s so *hugs my heart and teen me*) but if i just showed up at your party, would you have me would you want me? would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden / i don’t know anything but i know i miss you / the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you / (KEY CHANGE !!!) / kissing in my car again, stopped at a streetlight you know i miss you

peace: (another favorite!!!! and apparently the first take she did of this song IS THE ONE THAT’S ON THE ALBUM. artist.) the devils in the details, but you got a friend in me, would it be enough if i could never give you peace, your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall, i talk shit with my friends, it’s like i’m wasting your honor *piannooooo* / and you know that i’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches, give you my wild, give you a child... 

hoax: (a hauntingly beautiful one, a favorite, love that it’s the closer. it HURTS me right now but i’ll take it. it’s a beautiful song and it’s helping the heal. can’t wait to hear the lakes on the deluxe! - also i just so happen to be re-reading the twilight series right now and it’s the exact vibes i get from this song - the level of love, the cliff sides, the sleepless nights, the piano, eclipsed sun) stood on the cliff side screaming give me a reason, your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in.... don’t want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do. 

Taylor announced it and I woke up to the news. I spent the whole day obsessed with the thought of the album and the fact that she literally surprise dropped and shook the whole swiftie kingdom as well as it’s surrounding communities. I had no idea what to expect with it but I said it would be my new favorite Taylor album, i just had a feeling. And I think that this album proved that statement was true. This side of Taylor is the storytelling side I absolutely fell in love with. Her power and creativity and pen are just top tier and she’s the freaking artist of my lifetime. This album will be helping me heal, just as rep did, just as 1989 did, just as Speak Now, Fearless did. I love you Taylor. Thank you for the beauty that is folklore.

[aurorxbanks]

hello my friends !!! it is i, chelly, once again to throw my babie at you all :~) i hope y’all will love miss aurora just as much as i do, bc she holds a special place in my heart and i’m really excited to have her here! i think she’s gonna adore all of y’alls muses so :~) please don’t be shy, hit me up, i’ll be around in an inbox near you soon too to plot and chat! okay, before i ramble too too much, here is her way too long bio. love youuu

             * : ･ﾟ･✧･ meet aurora marlowe banks ･✧･ﾟ･ : *

tw: ptsd, trauma, construction accident, panic attacks, hospitals

TL:DR: oof, i struggle with coming up with a too long, don’t read for miss aurora BUT at her core, she’s just this sweet child who grew up in a really close family in maine. the banks got thrown for quite the loop after her father suffered from a massive accident, leading to many medical complications and hardship for her family. she suffers from pstd and panic attacks as a result, but she’s been blessed with a strong support system too and she manages well enough, all things considered. at the hotel, she’s a vet tech and is in her final year of becoming a veterinarian at the university of illinois - chicago. so naturally, a huge animal lover but food is also her love language and those of her two favorite ways to bond with new people. she’s timid and shy, a little naive and gullible, but a truly amazing friend and someone who loves and cares with her entire being. a good little egg and i hope y’all will love her as much as i do.

wanted connects: bc i don’t want them to get lost in the novel abys ... i’d love for her to have some vet pals, or rlly just pals who work in the pet daycare with her! if you’re a fellow cook, she’s going to ask you what your favorite recipes are with a pen and pad in hand so ... get ready for that one! she’d love a running buddy, or someone who’d spur of the moment sign up with her for marathons and such so like, bring them on, she’s an early riser so will motivate you to go train with her at 6 am - you have been warned! she’s only ever been with a few people in her life sexually and romantically, but she is very very bisexual so having an ex partner or a once upon a time crush/unrequited love could be hella !!! oof i cannot see aurora hating anyone, but something of a frenemies situation could be angsty and fun. they first met bc aurora almost ran them over while she was rollerblading and changing her song so the phrase ‘don’t text and skate’ came to exist askdf i’ve also got it in my head that her sister natalie’s fc is alycia debnam carey and her sister winifred’s fc is katherine/josephine langford so ... okay  i’m just going on and on here huh okay i’ll shut up

now, onto the WAY too long biography i wrote for her ... but here we go :~)

tw: ptsd, trauma, construction accident, panic attacks, hospitals

*:･ﾟ･✧･ who am i?: the coastal town of kennebunkport maine, tucked into the southern half of the state, was what aurora called home for most of her life. it’s a tiny little town with a population just under four thousand people, but it was during the summers that the area would come to life. her father, artie, was an architect per his degree but was a contractor by trade so he was constantly finding work to further develop what was becoming more and more of a tourist attraction each summer. so he had gotten to know the people in the town well, was often working construction jobs as he had a relatively small crew, and that meant aurora and her mother emilia were always out and about. whether they were bringing artie a bagged lunch on his break, or going down by the shore to collect sea shells even if it was the winter season, they’d become quickly and easily acquainted with everyone. and aurora wasn’t their first daughter, either, she has two older sisters: natalie and winifred aka natty and winnie. both of whom are named after their grandmothers, but winifred will tell you she got the short stick but thank god for hocus pocus because winnie is far cuter. anyways. so for the three little ducklings to be following their mama emilia, the town knew the banks family well and they were very well liked. they spent a lot of time on the beach as soon as the weather was warm enough, but they also liked driving the rv out onto the sand when it was too cold, too. they’d wear gloves and bundle up and the big fluffy german shepherd named scout would frolic along with the girls chasing after him, too. aurora spent just as much time chasing after her two older sisters, too, just wanting to keep up with them whether it be in school, or at home, or wherever. artie and emilia were high school sweethearts, moving to kennebunkport after they got married, and they were just exceptionally close and in love, maintaining their family wasn’t difficult. aurora was always a little quieter than her sisters, shier and slower to jump into conversation about whatever book she was reading or joining in on the chalk drawing all over the sidewalks with the neighbors, but she was every bit as present as her sisters were, too. it was truly a community, and one that aurora didn’t ever realize that she was going to be needing as desperately as she did after the accident.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ a new reality: when she was ten, her father was in a massive accident on one of his worksites as he was building a new beach house on a newly developed property. which was more of a mansion, truly, and the landscaping was still being mulled over. it left for some interesting scaffolding, even fault in some spots, and it was one wrong step that left her father falling a few floors down onto a bed of hard gravel below. as a result, he was in the hospital for the better part of a year as he suffered from a severe head injury as well as a broken back that took too long to heal as he was especially susceptible to complications given his type one diabetes rendering him immunocompromised. needless to say, aurora and her family spent a lot of time in the hospital during that beyond difficult year. emilia, the champion mama that she is, kept it together as best she could but the banks were truly a broken family. what they were going through, the way in which three young girls were being tested, and the medical bills that stacked up quickly … it was honestly a miracle that they had any sort of sanity at all. as a sort of escape, aurora spent a lot of time in the children’s unit of the hospital, because she tried making friends with some of the other kids her age ( since being around her sisters all of the time was also difficult for her ). she was there often enough, and they’d play tag when the nurses weren’t looking, and would eat in the caf together on the good days, and there were a lot of wholesome memories that aurora got to make when she wasn’t by her dad’s side. there was, however, the heartbreaking nights where a nurse would stop by and take aurora aside, tell her that one of her friends at the hospital had passed, and it was never news that she stomached well. of course, how could any kid? but aurora feels everything, all of her emotions, with her entire being. a lot of it just became too much all at once, and that’s when her panic attacks began. when it all became too heavy, in the stark white halls of the hospital wings, aurora would find herself curled up in herself barely able to breathe let alone think … the nurses, the doctors, they were incredible of course, but truly it was being surrounded by her family once more that allowed for little aurora to center herself again.

it was a little over a month before artie came out of his coma, and it was an even longer and slower recovery than was expected. seeing her father in the hospital bed, unresponsive, unsure if she would ever get to talk to him or sit in his lap as he read her a story, wondering if he was going to get to see her play soccer in the fall on the a team … for a young kid, it was a lot. it was a lot of trauma for a long time. but artie did wake up, which was a miracle in his own right truthfully, but so was his recovery. it was a long ten months of intensive rehabilitation, repeated fMRIs, and pitfalls but god was it a well-needed moral boost for the banks family. and even though there was still so much work to be done toward artie’s full recovery, if there was to be one, at least he was alive. at least aurora still had her daddy, and that made all the difference. as head injuries can be difficult, and unpredictable, it was uncertain what brain functioning and part of his brain would be affected fully. and as aurora had come to find, her father’s personality, the frontal lobe? he was still that very same person she had known her entire life, and emilia wholeheartedly agreed. the main differences came from his body, as he couldn’t move in the same ways anymore, he had to essentially re-learn how to sit up, stand, walk, but he did. in conversation, the recall on certain words, phrases, experiences .. it comes and goes, some things are there and others need a hefty amount of prompting, but the banks will live with that over the alternative every day of the week. it’s been nearly ten years since, and artie has come such a long way. no longer working on-sight anymore, he still works alongside his partner in their architecture consulting business. so to put it lightly, the recovery was better than even the doctors had come to expect. but the trauma, well that has always lingered with aurora. all that she had seen, had heard, the beeping of the monitors that her father was hooked up to, the sterile scent of the sheets that would replace the bed her friends in the pediatric ward occupied … it still haunts her. every night before bed, and every morning when she’d wake, she’d have to make sure her parents were still there, alive, breathing, able to respond to her when she’d reach for their hand. if mama was napping and aurora couldn’t hear that faint snore, she’d have to check on her. if dad fell asleep at his desk from exhaustion, she’d poke him awake with a few tears in her eyes. and even if it’s been ten years, it’s still something she’s likely to do with whoever she’s living with. luckily, when the time came, her college roommate understood.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ years to come: just to make it through the recovery year, and the rehabilitation years that followed, aurora leaned heavily on her sisters. they were three little peas in a pod and aurora’s never been closer with anyone else in her life and she never will be. they were, and for the most part still are, iseparable. they’ve got a groupchat that’s active at any hour of the day, has been for the past decade, hell even before unlimited texting they were on aim - and aurora wouldn’t have it any other way honestly. the only reason she did decently in school is because of her sisters’ influence, as they’re a few years her senior. they always kept aurora in the right spirits, along the right path, and a lot of that probably came from emilia’s request but aurora didn’t mind. she wasn’t ever looked at as the annoying little sister, but as an equal, and she truly appreciated that and them more than she could ever express. their bond is unbreakable, and it’s been tested time and time again, but it’s where aurora’s strong sense of loyalty comes from. it’s also a huge contributor to her endless ability to care for others. which, that particular trait has been responsible in getting her heart broken on more than one occasion, as aurora was the type to fall hard and fast especially when it came to any beautiful person glancing her way in the halls. but again, she had her sisters to protect her, to nurture any broken hearts or help mend any rocky friendships that teenage girls can have. if she ever accidentally hurt someone else, or if she was the one who got crushed, that ability to feel every little thing with her entire being would do a number on her, but natty and winnie were always right by her side. artie and emilia give the world’s best hugs, and always know when something’s up with their daughter. it allowed for aurora to grow, to express herself fully, to feel accepted despite her niuances. she’s found it difficult at times to connect with people her own age considering her mature experiences, but she’s done her best and the people who truly care for her have remained, and others have faded into the background, and that’s okay. aurora knows that not everyone is meant  to be in your life forever, but those who are, are held closely to her heart.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ onward: it was a difficult enough decision for aurora to venture out beyond her small town in maine for the big city .. truth be told, she likely wouldn’t have if it weren’t for winnie having made the move first. natty, the eldest, attended colby college in order to stay close to the family and for awhile there, aurora likely dreamt of doing the very same. but winnie was offered decent aid northwestern university, and she really wanted the opportunity to branch out and get out of the small corner of the work that the banks had been occupying for so many years. and while aurora and natty were a little heartbroken, that only lasted for a few weeks, before they got on the same page as their very supportive parents and knew that it was going to be one of he best things for winnie. and for the last two years of her high school experience, without her sisters being in the same building or the same house, aurora started to grow more on her own. she liked being able to make the roadtrip with natty to visit winnie on the weekends, to see what life was like outside of their hometown. illinois was exciting, and chicago was rich in diversity, and it greatly attracted all three of them. aurora especially, and she was constantly in her guidance office discussing the different colleges in the area and degrees she could be going after. she was a particularly good student, got a lot of tutelage from her support system, and the sciences were her favorite. she even made her parents buy her a special set of goggles for her chem lab and yes, she got made fun of for it, but aurora didn’t care. the concept of medicine was attractive to her, considering all she had been through and where her interests led her, but she couldn’t bring herself to envisioning MD at the end of her title … working alongside a human population, it just felt a little too overwhelming for her, perhaps even triggering, but she still felt that pull. and her guidance counselor knew that, also knew how often aurora volunteered at the local animal shelters and fostered as many as she could ( or rather, as many as her parents would allow ) so the topic of veterinary school came up, as did the university of chicago and their program offerings … and honestly, it was like overnight, aurora had made her decision.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ decision day: just shy of her eighteenth birthday and aurora was already enrolled and committed to attend the college of veterinary medicine and the school of public health at the university of illinois-chicago. it’s a five year program that she’s just about ready to finish, with only her clinical hours to go, before she can officially call herself a vet. and it was just last summer that she finished her vet technician credentials to be able to practice as a vet tech legally and outside of the scope of the college’s intern hour requirements, which is how she got herself a free place to live at the malnati. because while aurora loves her school, she’s always had a tough enough time fitting in with classmates who are her age, with kids who just wanted to goof off and fuck around. because aurora’s never been that girl. she’s quiet, timid even, and it takes her awhile to warm up to people - especially new people. she got to live in her little slice of the world in maine where her family were her biggest supporters and the rest of the two just knew her. aurora rarely had to introduce herself to anyone, ever. so it was a whirlwind of a new experience, and she was lucky to have winnie in reasonable driving distance, but it still made it difficult for aurora. the party scene was never hers, in fact being in large groups of people can occasionally overwhelm her, so she tested it out a few times before deciding that it wasn’t gonna be for her. she didn't like how her panic attacks seemed to get worse if she was around far too many intoxicated people, so she decided against them for herself personally. aurora much prefers the, let’s go get sushi and then roam around the art gallery, type of weekends. so needless to say,  she stuck to the few good friends in her program, some outside of it too, and just lived. she would run 5ks to support local causes, attend street markets and festivals on the weekends, run around hopping from one train to the next to get to work and then back onto campus so she could afford everything. but in her last year, it’ll be more than nice to have the malnati as it’s one less bill and one stable job to maintain on her resume while she completes her degree.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ love languages: which - that honorable sushi mention up there? well, food is one of aurora’s love languages. once her dad was able to come home, the girls became avid chefs. emilia was always a good cook, but more than that she taught the girls all kinds of recipes and techniques and it just created this type of burning, lasting memory in aurora’s mind and honestly being in the kitchen is just her second happy place. the first? well anywhere she can be surrounded by animals - that’s her first happy place. because she’s the biggest animal lover, but she’s also a huge foodie. she doesn’t cook as much as she used to being in chicago, as she did back home in maine, but with the suites having pretty incredible appliances considering the size, she’s excited to get back into it. handwritten recipe cards fill a few binders that she’s put together, and nothing makes aurora feel more at home than her dad’s handwriting, cause he’d scrawl down whatever emilia would tell him to as she was cooking, and it’s just a little shaky from the brain injury but it’s perfect. it’s him. it’s her dad’s. and she really loves the little hearts that’re on every card that her mom would add at the end, so she’s excited to start using them again. which means that she will feed you, she will share tupperware and accept new recipe cards with a lot of excitement. but also now, getting to live in a place where she is able to take care of all these beautiful pets in such a glamorous daycare? well, aurora’s somewhere between heaven and heaven - cause she’s got this big heart that’s filled with floof balls, and gorgeous birds, and reptiles with textured skin - and don’t get her started on the cutest ferret that one of the guests has lodged at the daycare for weeks and she cannot get enough of. so she’s fully ready to make just about any excuse to show up and hang out with you and your pets, because she vehemently loves quality time and as this also being one of her love languages, she can never get enough.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ four wheels, two legs, a paintbrush: but amongst other things that aurora enjoys? she’s a big rollerblader, like actually owns inline skates and will use them to get around chicago if she pleases and 100% takes those very aesthetic tiktoks wearing her bellbottom jeans and hair all blown out … it’s one of the very few instances of aurora being vain, but she just enjoys it too much. very much into running, it’s the only other form of exercise she willingly participates in ( unless it’s swimming because of course she loves to do that ) and she swears one of these days her knees are gonna be the end of her but she keeps up with it anyways. she signs up for 5k’s without question and half marathons take a few extra moments of consideration but she’ll do those too - she’s determined to do her first marathon soon and she’s really looking forward to it. she’s also not very good at it, but she loves to paint. she’s gotten a lot of those ‘paint by number’ watercolors that she saw ads for on instagram for way too long before finally placing an order but she really loves those. she’s got a vintage polaroid camera from her grandmother’s closet that she is very protective over but she’s highkey in love with it. that one stays in its case in the trunk at the end of her bed, but she’s gotten a less sentimental polaroid to use as more of a decor piece on her dresser. and literally no one is surprised at this point, but she’s got a record player and a bunch of vinyls from her dad’s collection and her sisters make fun of her for being 'that bitch’ but she doesn’t care - it’s just all a part of what makes aurora authentically herself.

*:･ﾟ･✧･ empath: of which, she’s exceptionally kind. to a fault, mostly. she’s gullible and naive, which caused her to be manipulated growing up but she had support to get her out of those situations when she needed it. because aurora is trusting, and trustworthy, but she mostly wants to see the good in other people. but she’s also learned from the moments in her life that burned her, and she tends to keep to herself a bit, and is very slow on the open up, but she liked to have friends. very much a social person, actually, she’s just gotta get used to the new and exciting and feel people out before she’s her most honest self. which is a bit of a goofy, smiley, supportive gal who very clearly grew up in a tight knit family because she’s quick to pull people into her circle who want to be there, and who care enough about her to be there in the first place. her favorite people are good people, and all she ever tries to do is her best. once she’s open to someone, she’s with them 100% of the way and holds the people in her life very close to her heart. she feels with her entire heart and soul, whole body, and sometimes that can be emotionally exhausting and even physically draining so she may need to step back from time to time, but she’s still always gonna be there. aurora will talk through emotions and isn’t afraid of having the deep talks either, which is probably one of the things that makes her such a good friend. being in chicago, she’s a wide eyed gal with a big heart, whose experiences have shaped her, and she is unapologetically herself.

[fr3aklike-me]

omg hiiiiii i missed youuu <3 and im so glad you have more energy now !! was today better than yesterday in that sense or pretty much the same ?

omg fr, any edit of anytbing in the opposite context literally makes me cry laughing, it’s so fucking funny. like ik i’ve seen this somewhere but i can’t remember wtf it was, but like turning “family dinner” into a horror film with the dramatic music and screams at like the simplest sentences, idk it’s so funny. esp bc i don’t have siblings so i never had a family dinner w my own family except just my parents which makes it 10x funnier when i go to someone else’s house and we all sit down for dinner, and then they start bickering, i literally have to stop myself from laughing bc i make it a horror film in my head LMAO. but yesss, i almost forget they exist sometimes, like i’ve spent money on books i’ve never really even read and the fact i could’ve checked them out- like i really want to start doing that. and yesss omg there’s a giant beanbag chair at my library and i sat there for so long one time, it’s so nice. YES i wanna visit mine now too ahahha i’m so excited to read the book w you !! STOP ITTTT awww shhddujsjsh you’re so sweet, i literally melt everytime you imagine what i’m saying i’m doing, like it’s so sweet and tender to me, you’re the sweetest. skjdjdjsj of course you’re cute, oh my goodness you’re so fucking cute, and the fact you hold your cheeks at things that are sweet is like the most adorable thing i’ve ever heard. omg it’s like so cute to imagine our day together, and cuddling to fall asleep omg, id sleep so fast, i can actually sleep if someone’s next to me hsjdhhd it’s even better than the british man. LMAO but yesss, it’s the best it’s so calming. yesss it’s such a good show, it’s so interesting and it rly makes you think, like there’s so so so many unsolved cases and it’s crazy. but i’m not sure on an episode, it’s been a while since i’ve watched it. BUT i do have an interesting case, it’s solved tho. look up “the Turpin family house of horrors” or something like that, it should come up. (tw: it’s about intense child abuse and neglect.) but the super crazy part is the girl who escaped and called the cops was 17 and she didn’t even know what medicine, or her address was. it’s crazy and so interesting to me bc this all happened in the city where my dad and i used to go to the lake when i was a kid. like we went when this was still going on, and it’s only like 30 mins from where i live, genuinely terrifying to think about. but the success story of the children is really cool, the adult ones at least. and yesss anything sapphic that’s not from like, this time period, even if it’s fictional is so so nice to read, it is rly comforting !! REALLY ?!?! omg really ?!?!!! i will actually come, that’s such an honor truly <3

jsjsjsjjdfkfdk of course i tried to read it, it took a lot of tries but omg everytime id look at it i’d be blushing but i wanted to see ittt🥺 and omg lmaoooo you rly don’t know at all then, is it a suprise trip ? i’ve felt literally so so cared for, like so much so, you’re so comforting. and omg, it makes me so happy that you feel that way, it means so much to me. you absolutely so deserve that title my angel, jdjdjjsjs i wouldn’t give such a title to anyone else <3 yeahhh the summers are intense, but it’s kinda nice when it’s like 25, feels like winter on those days LMAO but that sounds like such nice summer weather, what you have there. i wish it got to negatives here in winter, or at least snow, ik it sounds crazy probably lmao but i love both summer and winter, and i truly don’t know what it would feel like hahaha i think it’s sub-zero when i go to the mountains and it’s like 2 degrees.

-💟

I missed you too <3 and thank you!! today, I thankfully had more energy (and finally did my whole skincare routine LMAO) and felt a lot better, but I've been catching up on a book that I only started two days ago and have an essay on tomorrow jfjdjfk

seriously, it also reminds me of those trailers made for different films, Honest Trailers, I think they were called, and the voice over was so dramatic dkjldkfj. omg I need to watch that! it reminds me of the dinner scene from Hereditary, and how it was so chilling. I've even seen clips of Friends, particularly with Ross, edited to seem like a horror film, and it is so weirdly accurate bc without the laugh noises, some of the shit he says sounds so creepy. LMAO omg when there are huge family dinners, and all the debating, bickering and chaos starts, it can be so funny. I don't have family dinners that often either, but when I visit my family in another province, sometimes we will all start bickering and yelling across the table - not in a serious way, but just out of pure annoyance with the cousins sjdklsjd. oooh, so you don't have any siblings? me too, I think once I started spending more of my own money, I realized just how fucking pricey books are, sigh. GASP, A BEANBAG CHAIR. I FORGOT HOW COMFY THOSE ARE. honestly, I would love to get one in my bedroom, they are so fucking comfy - I remember a bookstore I used to go to had those in the children's section, and as a child, it was so comfy, and they even had a table with a wooden train set to play with - I'm feeling so nostalgic rn. omg, of course I do, you paint such a cute image with all your different reactions, they're so sweet. DKJKSJ thank you omg 😭 you saying it's the most adorable thing is so fucking sweet ahhh. oooh, really? for me, it depends on the person. like, with friends, yeah, but if it's relatives I haven't seen in several years, it's a bit more awkward LMAO for sure, and it's also frustrating and heartbreaking to know that some of the harm against innocents is unsolved and justice won't happen. damn, that's intense, I'll check the case out - so, she didn't know where she had been living in? holy shit, that must've been so eery and weird to have known it all occurred somewhere you and your dad visited so frequently. like, it is actually so frightening to think of that, I definitely understand why you felt terrified. wow, I'm so glad there were some success stories, though. and omg, absolutely!! if you come, and are in an area close to me, like the province I live in, omg I would absolutely love to meet up!! like, I would be so down for that

omggg that is so cute, that you were making those attempts to read it, and would blush when you got a glimpse kjdkfldjlkf. so, the thing is, I have family there and me, my dad and brother are hoping to go, but I think my dad is probably watching out for less pricey flights, and he's currently waiting for my brother and me to be done with our classes and officially on break. and so, the plans are very vague at the moment till we plan what time will be good. the family we're visiting probably won't be surprised, my dad will probably let them know, we're just seeing when the best and most free time will be, haha. omg, thank you so fucking much. seriously means the world to me that you feel comforted and cared for. so, so much. I absolutely feel so cared for and doted on in the best way by you too. omg 25 celsius is winter for you guys?? that's so interesting, for us, it's so warm, haha. oooh, yeah, I get that, the snow is pretty, and the weather is crisp and manageable until it gets too low. omg do you go to the mountains a lot? (also, will find some pics of snow to add in)

[infernalkrp]

HERE YOU LEARN KNOWLEDGE BEGINS WITH FEAR.

STUDENT FILE. TAKAHASHI, Keiko.

PERSONAL. Takahashi Keiko, born on 18/10/2000 ( age 17 ) in Nagoya, Japan. Currently receiving no scholarship.

ACADEMIC. Second year. Registered in the Art Department, coursing history of fine arts and history of cinema. Currently ranking in Gamma Tier, assigned to dorm room GF-01.

SOCIAL. Participates in the Gardening Club, as member, and the Swimming Team, as member. Associated with the PSIC, as member.

RESTRICTED ACCESS.

HISTORY.

keiko is born as the second child to associate economics professor takahashi takeshi (a second-generation zainichi with chongryon upbringing) and advertising director shirota yumiko (a second-generation zainichi with mindan upbringing) in nagoya, though the family moves out to tokyo a year later when takeshi is appointed tenured professorship at waseda university.

her parents are well-regarded figures in their respective fields and work diligently to provide a stable foundation for their two children. keiko grows up without much of the hardships her own parents had faced as youth.

her brother, eight years her senior, sets an example for his little sister to follow. he attends amji institute after expressing his desires to learn korean proper (and not at weekend school or preparing gimjang with grandma) and study in the west for university.

the good-natured keiko is also easily distracted, with constantly flip-flopping interests. they think amji might instill the work ethic and resolve she lacks—and what older brother keisuke emerged from high school chock full of.

keiko undergoes intense private tutoring a year before application season. she barely tests in.

attending amji proves to be a double-edged sword. within her first year keiko quickly hones in on an area of study that she excels at and sees herself possibly pursuing after graduating, but it amounts to little as she struggles terribly with the rest of the school’s curriculum.

her failures don’t faze her; she manages to scrape by with her less-than-stellar performance, choosing to focus the bulk of her energy on things that matter instead: history, nail art, her budding herb garden, neo-noir night, and ghosts.

LIMITATIONS.

dad’s korean is getting worse as he gets older. you’re acutely aware of the hot embarrassment that tinges your ears red when he struggles to communicate with the waitress as he squints with great difficulty at the menu on the wall. what’s that one, second from the bottom? sorry, what was that? can you repeat one more time, please? and then, giving up, we’ll take one, before he turns back to you with a slow smile.

dad. you say, and your voice rises even though you don’t mean to get impatient with him. he’s just trying his best. he probably feels embarrassed, too, looking at the way his upper lip crooks and he reaches a hand behind his head, patting where the hair is thinnest. he switches back.

iyaaa, i’m sure it’ll be tasty. i’ve never had this regional cuisine before.

neither have you. everything about this is new. even having dad sit here in front of you like this is new. mom left a week ago on business but dad said he’d stay with you until you kicked him out. he’s actually leaving tomorrow. you think maybe he’d said it out of guilt for pushing you into this situation in the first place but mostly you think he said it because he loves you.

you love dad, too, even if you don’t have the courage or sense to tell him that right then and there. you pick up your metal chopsticks and nibble on an over-seasoned piece of fried fish cake, savoring this moment for all that it’s worth. when the mystery soup comes out of the kitchen, dad stands up to ladle it into your bowl. plop plop. he tells you to eat up before it gets cold. his voice sounds far away.

you take a bite. it’s comforting. the potato balls are soft and bounce happily on your tongue. the broth is gentle, and warms you down to your core. it’s simple food but emotion hits you like a wave and there are tears welling in your eyes when you look back up. dad.

by this time tomorrow, he’ll be on a plane back to tokyo and you’ll be on your own. you won’t see your family until summer. it will be like this—rare holidays and fleeting reunions—until the day comes when you assume your parents’ place and they are children again. the knowledge was always distantly there but it takes a bowl of hot soup for it to register. you look at dad’s bald spot and the first tear trails down your cheek. dad, i don’t want you to leave. when he sees you crying, he panics like you expect him to and grabs as many napkins as he can from the table dispenser to catch your tears.

keicchan, don’t cry. tochan’s right here. i’ll cancel the flight if you want me to. i’ll stay as long as you want.

you can hear a lump lodged in his throat, too. but you shake your head and shove another spoonful of soup into your mouth. you have to go and i have to stay. you chant the words over and over between chews as dad reaches across the table to hold your other hand. these are necessary growing pains. you have to go and i have to stay.

ASPIRATIONS.

it’s field day and the relay has taken everything out of you, maybe even a chunk of your soul. you lay on the grass snow angel style in the dead of summer. the grass underneath is poking past the fabric of your shorts and prickles at your skin and even though it’s uncomfortable you are simply too exhausted to budge.

your eyes are closed but you hear her approaching you, feet padding softly on the ground until they’re next to your left pigtail. she crouches down and tells you to open your mouth so you do. then she pours water into your mouth. the water is cold and clean. it feels like that missing chunk of your soul has just slipped back into you—or that a part of her has entered you. “thanks,” you manage feebly, and cross an arm over your eyes to block out the sun but more importantly to cover your face. you think maybe the redness from having overexerted yourself will obliterate any chance of her finding out that she’s the one actually setting you on fire.

when you no longer hear her within earshot, you sit up and open your eyes. she’s left a water bottle next to where your right pigtail had been. you chug it down as quickly as you can to extinguish the flames in your face and the water rises in your belly, sloshing heavy.

BEHAVIOR.

 [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] thinking of just getting my hair done during chuseok [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] but that reminds me [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] [x] [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] ??? [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] did you do these yourself or [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] hahaha no i wish [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] i just got them done by a friend i can rec you if you want in ;) [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] who omg [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] uhh you might not know her [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] takahashi keiko [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] whattt no we were in the same philosophy section last year i remember her she was cute. and kinda weird lol [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] don’t have her kakao or anything tho so yeah put in a good word for me [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] does she take appointments or smth? and how $$? [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] i’m not sure actually she runs a mysterious operation and practically gives manicures away for free like i only paid ten thousand [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] not surprised lol she like never talked during our section meetings and was always sick or asleep [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] she must have skipped hahaha she never gets sick [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] also recall her like.. filling up entire notebooks with flip art. and her handwriting is mad good so figures [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] yeah IT IS omg so nice [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] she’s sweet though!! i don’t see her a lot bc she’s always out with her club friends doing god knows what but she’s super sweet [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] how do you know her then [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] we’re neighbors [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] i’m a gamma bitch remember [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] oh that’s right. dumb bitch [ kkt ⇀ 구XX ] you wanna stay a dusty hands bitch? [ kkt ⇀ 왕XX ] love youuu