#WHEW long time since i had an update post haha. long time since i had time to actually draft something that wasn't fic that needed to be

[hidey-writes]

six sentences sunday

The slack, peaceful expression of Zhao Yunlan asleep, his body curled toward the main room. That instinctive way he reached for Shen Wei, patting along his shoulder for his forearm, for his wrist. Even just earlier that night, sitting in companionable quiet on the couch, Zhao Yunlan’s hand tapping along the leather until it found Shen Wei’s ankle and settled there, skin against skin. As if Zhao Yunlan had gotten used to it too, touching. Their bodies as close as their lives were tangled now. Shen Wei would miss every piece of it.

haha. hurting my own feelings in the down draft of the answer fic! i was initially worried i wouldn't have enough thoughts about that gap between the knife scene and the next scene to write a whole fic about it, but it's starting to seem that the solution is simply: cramming in as much domestic weilan flashback as narratively possible :3

[mistytpednaem]

So, what’s up with Another Me?

Honestly, I tried to draft this post, but the mental block made me decide to just go for it stream-of-consciousness style. Which I hope doesn’t bode poorly or anything. But here goes!

The Past and the Present

As you may know, I’ve been at this for a while now! Since 2014, in fact. In that time, I’ve gotten through the prologue and... most of chapter one (fun fact: I do have the entirety of this story mapped out! We are transitioning into what should be the final scene of this chapter. Originally, I wanted to make this post - or something along these lines - once I finished the chapter, but I figured since the year was about to end I’d be better off doing it now).

Now, let’s not mince words: that is a long time. I have six chapters total (not counting the prologue) mapped out for this comic, and there is more I’d like to do beyond it (what I like to call Arc 2, or, as you may or may not know:  The Part Where My Pet Character Marco Evangelisti Actually Shows Up). If I keep going at the current pace, I will probably not be done within my lifetime. So, if I’m aware of this, what gives?

... I mean, damn. There’s a lot I could point to; I was finishing my degree until 2016, and I suppose that takes something out of you. I have unreasonably high expectations for myself, as the people closest to me know. “2020 was a bad year for everyone,” I tell myself, before I also go on to say, “but even though updates slowed down even more this year, it’s not like they’ve been particularly speedy for the past couple of years, and I haven’t had that bad of a year anyway, so that’s a shoddy excuse.” And then some semblance of reasonable thought comes over me and reminds me my grandfather had a stroke in March of last year and passed away in early June of this year, and I’m like “I mean, okay, I guess I’ve been through SOME things.”

But lighthearted reflections aside, there are more actionable problems I have identified - such as, in an overarching sense, my attitude. My friends made me realise this some time late last year, and while I’ve been trying to work on it, I have to admit I’ve made very little progress: at some point, I developed a seriously unhealthy relationship with my art. Here is how my workflow has tended to go:

Start scripting update. I have a small readership, but that’s okay; I am grateful for every suggestion, I can work with this, and I AM building towards something that excites me.

Script done, regardless of insecurities. It’s time to start working on the actual panels. This sketch didn’t come out exactly the way I intended, but hopefully it still works (alternatively: this sketch looks promising! I am excited about this sketch. Sometimes, I do feel happy with my sketches).

Oh dear. I was hoping the lineart would help a little (alternatively: oh dear. the lineart completely ruined this perfectly fine sketch). Maybe it’ll still look alright with colour?

Oh no. I hate it, actually. I suppose I’m too sloppy; I should be more careful next time. 

(Repeat for however many panels i have planned for an update, typically with mounting guilt the longer I take on each one, because I keep taking longer and longer and, to my eyes, there is no improvement.)

Well, as my friends keep reminding me, done is better than perfect. Let’s post it!

The update is posted to a small readership and a quiet response, which, again, is okay, but leaves me wanting for feedback that I cannot get because I am reluctant to spread the word for several reasons, one of them being that I’ve convinced myself my work isn’t good enough.

Rinse and repeat, with the process continuing to be slow - if not turning exponentially slower - because apparently when things make you feel bad your brain starts wanting to protect you from them.

Apologies if this is a little harsh, but it is genuinely the most sincere breakdown of The Whole Deal that I can produce.

The good news is there are things I can do about this! Not easy things, granted, as they tie deeply into a lot of the recurring neuroses in my life, but in theory, the more I embrace imperfection, and the less I worry, the faster I should be able to work, and I should start getting some serotonin out of the whole thing again. In theory. This is not the only issue, however, and I have good and bad news about the other issue I’ve identified:

I don’t think the forum adventure format is working in its current shape.

It’s not about the suggestions - I love working with suggestions! Reader interaction is fun, it’s already shaped a good number of things and I hope it continues to do so. It’s more of a matter of visibility. Tragically, forums are not the most In Vogue things these days, and that reflects itself in, well, poor visibility. I’ve tried to remedy this by allowing suggestions through MSPFA, Tumblr and Twitter as well, but honestly, it hasn’t helped much. I think I’ve only gotten one or two suggestions through MSPFA? And don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this is in great part because of my passive role in getting the word out! But it’s all contributing towards this strange, shrinking spiral of a feedback loop.

The good news is that, since I have identified this problem, there should be an actionable solution. The bad news is I’m not quite sure what form that solution should take just yet.

The Future

Whew, that was a lot. So, what’s in store for 2021 and beyond?

Well, er, like I’ve implied, I’m a little unsure. But that’s my default state of existence, so let’s go over what I think.

When I finish chapter one, I would like to find a proper hosting place for AM. As I said, I don’t think the forum thing is quite working out, and MSPFA is a wonderful website, but I feel AM has little to do with most of the content on it beyond the second-person narration and the script-style dialogues. Whether that means a change in format is needed along with the change in hosting, I’m not sure; I would like to keep the whole “one panel per page with text underneath it” deal, which... should be doable on most places, but in this current year, I’m frankly not sure how it would come across, haha.

(I’m also not sure what this hosting place should be, mind you; potentially a wordpress blog with a layout tailored for comics, but drawing isn’t actually my day job, so I’m not sure how viable paying for a domain name might be. Or hosting, for that matter, should I need it - but imgur has been friendly enough of an image host so far.)

What I do know is that I want to keep the suggestions, even though I’m not entirely sure how well that will work without a forum structure. Comments on a post, perhaps? Maybe. But we can’t forget that this doesn’t solve one of the other big issues, which is my reluctance to advertise. And there’s still, you know, my unhealthy, unreasonably high standards affecting my entire workflow.

... But that all kind of comes back to one thing, doesn’t it? The fear of taking the plunge? That’s what I need to overcome. Plans are a good first step, but they mean nothing if I don’t act on them. Which is part of the reason I’m talking about all this - so people can hold me to my plans.

(Plus, like, offer feedback and opinions. That’s very valuable too.)

This whole Future section is a whole lot more uncertain than, I think, even I hoped for when I started writing this post. But I hope what I’m trying to say comes across in some kind of way - not just in the sense of this being elucidating (which, don’t get me wrong, hopefully it is!), but also as far as conveying my feelings to my friends and readers is concerned.

I’m going to keep trying, and I know I’m a little lacking in the Doing department, but now you all know what’s been on my mind. Thank you all for the support, stay safe in These Trying Times, and hopefully we can all keep growing together.

[angst-in-space]

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can’t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

[jonasmaurer]

The great sleep update

Hey, everybody. Hope you’re having a lovely morning! I’ve had requests to provide some details on the sleep “challenges” that we’ve worked through. Of course, it’s important to emphasize the fact that what works for one family or kid won’t work for another. Some things that we did with Liv are totally ineffective with P, and the other way around. There are families who allow their kids to sleep in their beds, families who have their kids’ beds in the parents’ room, kids who have slept in their crib/bed from day one, kids who share beds, or a combination of all of the above. It’s all about choosing the best method for your family for that particular time. So, here’s what worked for us (or at least allowed us to survive), per many requests, but I feel a little vulnerable in posting this. Please be kind

Whew! Here we go.

So we’ve had some…unique sleeping situations, especially since we’ve moved a lot (Liv has moved 4 times already) and the Pilot also travels frequently for work. When the girls were babies, we followed The Baby Whisperer’s method. It taught the girls how to fall asleep on their own, but didn’t involve “crying it out.” (I know that intense sleep training and crying it out works well for a lot of families, but it wasn’t something I wanted to do.) Using her methods (eat, activity, sleep, you time), the girls were pretty excellent sleepers from when they were babies until they were about 2 1/2. It was a little earlier for P, since she decided to catapult herself out of the crib for the first time when she was around 14 months old. This was when they realized they could get OUT of their room, and from then on, sleep was kind of a disaster.

We’ve had nighttime visitors sporadically for many years. It wasn’t every night, and in most cases, we could convince them to go back to sleep after walking them back to their room. Having said that, there were plenty of nights when an irreconcilable little face of tears just didn’t want to go back to sleep on her own. Since we were often too exhausted to deal with it, we’d either sit in their room until they fell back asleep or let one or both of them crawl into bed with us. For a while Liv was waking up multiple times throughout the night, so as a temporary solution in our busy lives, we let her sleep in a cot on our room. When we finally ditched the cot after a move, we tried to incorporate more consequences for the nights when they come into our room. However, this method proved ineffective, because in the middle of the night, they didn’t care about consequences to their actions in their delirious, half-asleep state. We tried putting them in a bed together to see if it would help, but it didn’t make a lasting difference over the long term. 

All of this took place AFTER we got them to sleep which could be a struggle on its own. Sometimes to get them to sleep, we would find ourselves stuck in what we jokingly called “bed jail”: lying with them until they fell asleep. The reason for this was because even if one girl fell asleep just fine, the other might have some anxiety about it, then she would cry out and wake the other. It was a vicious cycle. For some people in a similar situation, it’s worked to just lock the door (switch their doorknobs to lock it from the outside) to force them to just cry it out and deal with it, but that’s not how we wanted to handle it. I remember what it felt like to be small and very afraid of the dark and being alone at night, so we wanted to find a solution that avoided the potential for that.

This is a tough sleep situation for two people, but it because virtually impossible to survive with just one. So, when the Pilot left for his deployment, I let the girls stay in our bed when they came in during the night, and after a few months of multiple nights of inadequate sleep, I let them fall asleep in our bed. I will say that for those few months, we slept amazingly. During winter break, we slept in until 9 or 9:30 most mornings and it was MAGICAL. But the deal was when Tom came home, they had to start sleeping in their own rooms. When he came home, we found ourselves back in the old, imperfect sleep patterns. We knew this wasn’t sustainable, so Tom did a bunch of research, and we reached out to an expert for advice because nothing we tried was working. 

Now, after chatting with Heather from Sleep Shop and following her steps in combination with this sleep plan, they both fall asleep on their own, sleep in their own rooms…and stay there all night. No locked doors, no drastic consequences, and no meltdowns.

I NEVER thought this would happen.

It took consistency, and about 3-4 nights of being awake a good part of the night, but we did it!!!

Obviously, I can’t post everything Heather told me to do on the blog – that’s how she makes $$ – but here are some of the things that helped:

– Having a true bedtime routine that starts about the same time every night. All of the steps were usually the same, but now we follow them in a precise order so they know bedtime is coming: bath (if I don’t wash their hair I just put it in a high bun), jammies, brush teeth, read them 2 books, goodnight. 

– Explaining the rules of the during the day as a heads up and before bed, after books, as a reminder. For them, knowing that we’d check on them every 10 minutes until they fell asleep (even in the middle of the night) was huge in cutting their anxiety to virtually zero. After the first few nights, they know we no longer check on them after 10 minutes if they happen to come out of their bed in the middle of the night, and they’re content to just be walked back to bed and tucked in. Now we typically only check on Liv once, and maybe a few times with P. 

– Walking them back to bed, every.single.time they came out of their room. This is exhausting and we probably walked them back 300 times the first night. After the first night, we took shifts. The Pilot got the 11pm- 3am shift and I did 3am-7pm. 

– The Ok to Wake clock. Liv hated this thing but it works beautifully for P. She’s so proud of herself each morning when she’s stayed in her bed until her clock is green. 

– Getting some extra sound machines. Upstairs was way too quiet and even though Liv had a sound machine, we also got one for P’s room.

– Consistency. This is where I’m terrible but the Pilot is a rockstar. I was SO tempted to just lie in bed with them or let them come into our room just once, especially when they were coming out of bed 8,000 times (and when P was under the weather), but once we committed, this wasn’t an option. He helped me keep my eye on the prize.

– Remembering that it always works! Heather was so reassuring and she said that it always works, but for some kids, it takes longer, up to 2 weeks. When we committed, we were ready to be totally sleep-deprived for 2 weeks, but it only took 5 nights. Each night was easier than the last.

So there ya go! We’re sleeping like normal humans and IT IS AMAZING. 

I was hesitant about writing this post because I’m the opposite of a sleep expert – we slept terribly for years haha – but if you need help, I highly recommend Sleep Shop. We had such a great experience, and they don’t know I have a blog or anything like that. It was the best $100 I’ve ever spent.

xo Gina

The post The great sleep update appeared first on The Fitnessista.

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[fesahaawit]

A Checklist of 15 Financial Goals To Hit

Hump Dayyyyyyy!

Came across this financial checklist over at Personal Finance Junkie this morning (how good is that name?) and thought it would be fun to see how many of these bad boys we can check off.

She says they’re good goals to hit by the time you’re 40, but really they’re great goals to achieve no matter your age, so whether you’re 20 or 60 let’s see how you’re looking so far…

I’ll go first, then your turn!

15 Goals to Hit On Your Way to Financial Freedom

#1. Build a starter emergency fund of $1,000. Check! The first step to getting things stabilized, and probably one of the hardest when you’re first starting out. Especially when you’re making minimum wage and stuck in the checking and savings shuffle game… I was king of that! ($50 into savings today, $50 back into my checking account at the end of the month when I’ve run out of money!) And the worst is that your brain only remembers the “saving” part, making you feel like you’ve saved when you haven’t ;)

#2. Organize your important financial information in a binder or eFile. Check! I still wanna do that Legacy Binder idea because it’s nerdily bad ass, but for now we keep our important $$$ and Life info into a centralized Google Doc, as well as partially printed out and stored in our safe. I do need to be better about keeping everything updated though as info changes all the time!

#3. Develop a monthly budget habit. Fail. What??? On a site called Budgets Are Sexy??? How is that possible?? Well, it’s possible because I spent 5+ years watching every penny and eventually got good at predicting my expenses without needing to look at it anymore :) I still think budgeting is one of the most important things to do when starting out, if not THE most important, but the good news is that once you’ve got a handle on everything you’re allowed to do whatever the F you want, haha… Even if you end up spending a little more had you continued to track it all :) So yeah – definitely still a huge fan of budgets and you gotta know where it’s all going, but my “budgets or die!” mantra has since eased up over time, and now I tend to focus more on the overall snapshot and trends (i.e. Net Worth) than I do tracking every transaction. If you’re a budgeting beast though and it’s working for you no matter what stage you’re in, more power to you!

#4. Pay off all of your debts. Fail. No budgeting and DEBTS?? What the hell kind of $$ blogger are you? Haha… An enigma? Wrapped in a conundrum? :) I don’t really know, but I have been known to go years without any debts whatsoever, so I guess this checklist caught me on a debt-year. Though does it make it better if I can pay it off at any time if I wanted to?  (It’s our car loan – no credit card debt or anything)

#5. Build a mid-level emergency fund of $10,000. Check. You probably do need to be out of your teens and early 20s to hit this level, but fortunately as the years – and job skipping/promotions – continue, it gets easier and easier to start padding this boy. Though watch for kids and first homes and that bitch of a creeper, lifestyle inflation!

#6. Cut your expenses. Check. We could definitely be better, especially with the big three: home, car, food, but I’m giving us a pass here because we’ve come a far way over the years and planning on changing at least the home one significantly when we move next year. We’ve also been cable-free for over two years now – woo! (And iPhone free for over three!)

#7. Be aware of your credit score. Check. I use a combination of grabbing my free Experian score from USAA (currently 829), and then also my TransUnion and Equifax scores which uses the VantageScore 3.0 rating from Credit Karma (currently 835 and 833). There’s a ton of different scoring systems out there, but really as long as you’re monitoring one of them consistently over time you should be fine. If it moves sharply in any direction you know something’s up!

(Don’t forget – you can always get your free credit *report* every year too through Credit Karma as well as AnnualCreditReport.com! (I know that last one sounds sketchy, but I swear it’s legit :))

#8. Earn extra income. Check. My “day” job and my “hustle” jobs are pretty much mixed these days, but I have recently taken on more consulting jobs so I’m gonna go ahead and count that as extra since I had stopped for a handful of months. Big thanks to FinCon for letting me judge the FinTech Competition which brought in a wave of new business!

#9. Read the top personal finance books. Check. Although I’m much better about reading the top personal finance blogs since they tend to be more fun and relatable :) You’ll have to check out our books directory though over at Rockstar Finance as we recently polled over 100 financial bloggers on their favorites and then built a place to feature them all. Let me know what you think: PF Book Directory

#10. Automate your savings. Check/Fail. I automate a little of it, like when using Digit, but I tend to do most things manually these days just to have more control over it and appreciate it more. Like for example our new Spavings Experiment we’ve just started. Automation can be great, but don’t discount the power of consciously moving things over yourself too!

#11. Automate your bills. Check/Fail. I automate the bills that never change, but for everything else I just go in once a month and knock ’em out in one sitting to make sure all is kosher and the accounts have the funds needed when anything unusual is going on. Similar to the automation of savings and other areas, it makes me feel better manually handling stuff and forcing myself to check in at least once a month.

#12. Automate investing. Check/Fail. (Are you sensing a pattern here? :)). I automate some stuff, like our kids’ 529 investments and when I was experimenting with Acorns, but by and large I manually push money into my SEP or Roth IRA when it’s time again for all the reasons listed above. Although for my wife’s TSP plan (the gov’ts version of the 401(k)) we automate that fully, and I highly advise everyone else doing the same who has access to it, if not just to grab all that free $$$$ most employers give you!

#13. Write a 5 year financial plan. Major Fail. Haha… If there’s one thing I just cannot do no matter how hard I try, it’s to forecast my future. It’s amazing I’ve made it this far in the career/money world to be honest with you, as I can barely plan 5 weeks out no less 5 years! So anyone who can answer this question with a resounding “Yes”, or even a half-assed yes for that matter, gets major street cred in my books… I admire you greatly for being able to do that!!

#14. Start maxing out your retirement account every year. MAJOR CHECK!! Whew – ending on a good note here! My only rule with $$$ is to max out both of my retirement accounts every year ($20,000’ish total), and I’m proud to say that I’m now on year #7 or #8 so far and still going strong :) It’s pretty much the entire backbone of my net worth, and so long as you can do that you get a free pass at sucking at everything else, haha… it’s just a matter of time until you become a millionaire even if you do nothing else!

#15. Complete your emergency fund so you have at least 6 months’ expenses saved. Check. I dip above and beyond this number depending on what month/year you catch me, but as it stands we do have enough to last us if another penny didn’t come in over the next 6+ months… This is a tough one to pull off for sure though, especially if you’re doing #14 above. At least once you hit it though you don’t have to touch it until an emergency comes up!

So there it is! 15 financial goals to hit by 40 (or whenever)!

Looks like I scored a 10.5 out of a total possible 15, woops, haha… Someone take away my blog card! But it’s true – I could certainly improve in a number of areas, not gonna lie. Always something to work on, right? Life would be boring being perfect, or something like that? :)

A good exercise to check in on yourself though, whether you feel like sharing your results with others or not. All that counts is that you’re aware of what’s going on and striving to get better! And I’m rooting you on over here!

For those who do want to share though, let us know in the comments below what you scored, and how old you are if you dare :) Can be as easy as this, “I’m 37 years old and I scored 10.5 points out of 15. Yay?”

Thanks for the stimulation, PF Junkie!

A Checklist of 15 Financial Goals To Hit posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[phillianhk-blog]

#12

I’ve 100% been the LVP (Least Valuable Player) of our collaborative tumblr journal-keeping. For that, I profusely apologize, Lillian H Kong :)

Whew - there have been quite a few updates since the last post, huh? It’s been over 4 months, which means we are now in the month of May in 2017 (!!!!!!). As is customary, I’ll first try to capture a snapshot of current events to place this post in time. Then I’ll recap what has happened or progressed since then, and then finish with doing my best to express how much you make my heart feel like it’s going to explode on a daily (read: hourly) (double read: minute-by-minute) basis.

At this exact moment, we are siting across from each other in Black Diamond Cafe in Emeryville. You have your cute “concentration face” on as you’re prepping for your first hearing since joining HAC. I am writing this much delayed tumblr post, a task that’s transferred to and from an infinite number of “to-do” lists, and earlier I was looking at a Nike sale online. So one of us is definitely busy with important things (hint: not me).

A quick sidebar on the hearing prep: I tell you this a lot, but I hope you can understand how proud of you and what you do I am. Soooooo much. Your heart and passion for the most vulnerable, the least advocated for, the ostracized, the general underdog has captured mine. God is 1000000% working through you and I’m just glad that I can be present, let alone support you.

Other current things: NBA playoffs are finishing the 2nd round (Wizards are in a 2-2 tie with the #1 seed Boston Celtics, the Cleveland LeBrons and Golden State Best Team Evers have both gone 8-0 to start the playoffs). You’ve completely moved into your new apartment in Berkeley (sooooo close to Emeryville), which took some time and effort but has become a very nice and cozy space where we spend most of our time hehe. Most importantly, we live so much closer now! My birthday just passed a few days ago, and we had a GAT (Good Ass Time) at Cornerstone in Berkeley. It was such a fun and blessed time to see not just my friends but a lot of yours that have more recently become mine too. We have a lot of great people in our lives. You were seriously the Champ Of The Year for taking care of me afterwards, which included a random gay guy complementing us and then helping you get me in an Uber, you carrying my almost completely lifeless body up to your second floor apartment, and then me proceeding to puke in various places, including but not limited to: your living room floor, the bathroom, your closet. And then you not even being a little mad at me the next morning. You are a treasure!! Hopefully not too many more episodes like this haha. You only turn 27 once! You got me a new wallet that I’ve sorely needed for a long time, after a whole lot of diligent research on your part. I love it, and I love you 1000000x more :) You also made me the most creative, awesome, artistic, and cool card (actually, 3 cards!) that were all sprinkle-cake themed hehe.

Current phases in our life: tide pool obsession, 6 minute(ch) boiled eggs in the morning, bluetooth headphones (just me).

I’m also headed to Korea in a week with my family! My brother is arriving into SFO a day before, and luckily you have the day off so we can show him around before we leave :) I can’t wait to go to Korea (and many other places) with you!

I can’t believe that it’s already been over 5 months in the new year, and almost a full year since we’ve been dating. What a momentous almost-year it’s been. We’ve finally started to get that time-donated validation to our relationship, where how we feel somewhat matches our longevity. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how much has changed since I’ve met you. It doesn’t seem like a lot superficially - I still live in the same apartment with the same people, am still in grad school doing mostly the same thing. But still so much feels different. We’ve talked a little about how much finding your soul’s counterpart is something that occupies almost every adult human ever, basically until they find it. I feel so much relief and gratitude that for me, God willing, that is you. 

My spirit and relationship with God has changed since I’ve met you too. For the first time, I feel constantly and deeply loved by Him - and your desperate, determined longing for God has been one of the main things that has brought me there. We’re both not the most perfect Christians, in practice or even in principle all the time. But I have absolutely no doubt that He loves us both dearly, and the amount of love that we are feeling each other flows from that. I’ve started to understand God, his character, and his heart more. There’s much more to be understood, soooooo much more than can be learned in a single lifetime, but I’m excited and starting to be grounded in truths that will not be shaken.

I can’t go a day without being thankful for you in my life, Lillian. We’ve started to realistically think about a life together - marriage, a house, our careers, children - and all of it excites me more than anything. All we can do is keep praying for each other, our families, and ourselves. I have so much to already be thankful for and hopefully so many more things to look forward to with you.

I had a general format and outline in mind for this post, but in true fashion I ended up rambling and stream-of-consciousness-ing towards the end. I hope it was somewhat close to coherent. Summary: I love you, God is awesome.

OH! We’ve also (potentially) finally found a church! We went to Solano Community Church in Albany (right next to UC Village) last Sunday, and were both blessed by the sermon and felt drawn. We also saw Kayla from my lab and her husband Isaac there, which helped add some initial familiarity. I hope this is finally it! We’ll see how it goes, but I’m excited for that too :) Updated overall summary: I love you, God is awesome, I am excited for a lot of things.

Love, Phil

[fesahaawit]

A Checklist of 15 Financial Goals To Hit

Hump Dayyyyyyy!

Came across this financial checklist over at Personal Finance Junkie this morning (how good is that name?) and thought it would be fun to see how many of these bad boys we can check off.

She says they’re good goals to hit by the time you’re 40, but really they’re great goals to achieve no matter your age, so whether you’re 20 or 60 let’s see how you’re looking so far…

I’ll go first, then your turn!

15 Goals to Hit On Your Way to Financial Freedom

#1. Build a starter emergency fund of $1,000. Check! The first step to getting things stabilized, and probably one of the hardest when you’re first starting out. Especially when you’re making minimum wage and stuck in the checking and savings shuffle game… I was king of that! ($50 into savings today, $50 back into my checking account at the end of the month when I’ve run out of money!) And the worst is that your brain only remembers the “saving” part, making you feel like you’ve saved when you haven’t ;)

#2. Organize your important financial information in a binder or eFile. Check! I still wanna do that Legacy Binder idea because it’s nerdily bad ass, but for now we keep our important $$$ and Life info into a centralized Google Doc, as well as partially printed out and stored in our safe. I do need to be better about keeping everything updated though as info changes all the time!

#3. Develop a monthly budget habit. Fail. What??? On a site called Budgets Are Sexy??? How is that possible?? Well, it’s possible because I spent 5+ years watching every penny and eventually got good at predicting my expenses without needing to look at it anymore :) I still think budgeting is one of the most important things to do when starting out, if not THE most important, but the good news is that once you’ve got a handle on everything you’re allowed to do whatever the F you want, haha… Even if you end up spending a little more had you continued to track it all :) So yeah – definitely still a huge fan of budgets and you gotta know where it’s all going, but my “budgets or die!” mantra has since eased up over time, and now I tend to focus more on the overall snapshot and trends (i.e. Net Worth) than I do tracking every transaction. If you’re a budgeting beast though and it’s working for you no matter what stage you’re in, more power to you!

#4. Pay off all of your debts. Fail. No budgeting and DEBTS?? What the hell kind of $$ blogger are you? Haha… An enigma? Wrapped in a conundrum? :) I don’t really know, but I have known to go years without any debts whatsoever, so I guess this checklist caught me on a debt-year. Though does it make it better if I can pay it off at any time if I wanted to?  (It’s our car loan – no credit card debt or anything)

#5. Build a mid-level emergency fund of $10,000. Check. You probably do need to be out of your teens and earl 20s to hit this level, but fortunately as the years – and job skipping/promotions – continue, it gets easier and easier to start padding this boy. Though watch for kids and first homes and that bitch of a creeper, lifestyle inflation!

#6. Cut your expenses. Check. We could definitely be better, especially with the big three: home, car, food, but I’m giving us a pass here because we’ve come a far away over the years and planning on changing at least the home one significantly when we move next year. We’ve also been cable-free for over two years now – woo! (And iPhone free for over three!)

#7. Be aware of your credit score. Check. I use a combination of grabbing my free Experian score from USAA (currently 829), and then also my TransUnion and Equifax scores which uses the VantageScore 3.0 rating from Credit Karma (currently 835 and 833). There’s a ton of different scoring systems out there, but really as long as you’re monitoring one of them consistently over time you should be fine. If it moves sharply in any direction you know something’s up!

(Don’t forget – you can always get your free credit *report* every year too through Credit Karma as well as AnnualCreditReport.com! (I know that last one sounds sketchy, but I swear it’s legit :))

#8. Earn extra income. Check. My “day” job and my “hustle” jobs are pretty much mixed these days, but I have recently taken on more consulting jobs so I’m gonna go ahead and count that as extra since I had stopped for a handful of months. Big thanks to FinCon for letting me judge the FinTech Competition which brought in a wave of new business!

#9. Read the top personal finance books. Check. Although I’m much better about reading the top personal finance blogs since they tend to be more fun and relatable :) You’ll have to check out our books directory though over at Rockstar Finance as we recently polled over 100 financial bloggers on their favorites and then built a place to feature them all. Let me know what you think: PF Book Directory

#10. Automate your savings. Check/Fail. I automate a little of it, like when using Digit, but I tend to do most things manually these days just to have more control over it and appreciate it more. Like for example our new Spavings Experiment we’ve just started. Automation can be great, but don’t discount the power of consciously moving things over yourself too!

#11. Automate your bills. Check/Fail. I automate the bills that never change, but for everything else I just go in once a month and knock ’em out in one sitting to make sure all is kosher and the accounts have the funds needed when anything unusual is going on. Similar to the automation of savings and other areas, it makes me feel better manually handling stuff and forcing myself to check in at least once a month.

#12. Automate investing. Check/Fail. (Are you sensing a pattern here? :)). I automate some stuff, like our kids’ 529 investments and when I was experimenting with Acorns, but by and large I manually push money into my SEP or Roth IRA when it’s time again for all the reasons listed above. Although for my wife’s TSP plan (the gov’ts version of the 401(k)) we automate that fully, and I highly advise everyone else doing the same who has access to it, if not just to grab all that free $$$$ most employees give you!

#13. Write a 5 year financial plan. Major Fail. Haha… If there’s one thing I just cannot do no matter how hard I try, it’s to forecast my future. It’s amazing I’ve made it this far in the career/money world to be honest with you, as I can barely plan 5 weeks out no less 5 years! So anyone who can answer this question with a resounding “Yes”, or even a half-assed yes for that matter, gets major street cred in my books… I admire you greatly for being able to do that!!

#14. Start maxing out your retirement account every year. MAJOR CHECK!! Whew – ending on a good note here! My only rule with $$$ is to max out both of my retirement accounts every year ($20,000’ish total), and I’m proud to say that I’m now on year #7 or #8 so far and still going strong :) It’s pretty much the entire backbone of my net worth, and so long as you can do that you get a free pass at sucking at everything else, haha… it’s just a matter of time until you become a millionaire even if you do nothing else!

#15. Complete your emergency fund so you have at least 6 months’ expenses saved. Check. I dip above and beyond this number depending on what month/year you catch me, but as it stands we do have enough to last us if another penny didn’t come in over the next 6+ months… This is a tough one to pull off for sure though, especially if you’re doing #14 above. At least once you hit it though you don’t have to touch it until an emergency comes up!

So there it is! 15 financial goals to hit by 40 (or whenever)!

Looks like I scored a 10.5 out of a total possible 15, woops, haha… Someone take away my blog card! But it’s true – I could certainly improve in a number of areas, not gonna lie. Always something to work on, right? Life would be boring being perfect, or something like that? :)

A good exercise to check in on yourself though, whether you feel like sharing your results with others or not. All that counts is that you’re aware of what’s going on and striving to get better! And I’m rooting you on over here!

For those who do want to share though, let us know in the comments below what you scored, and how old you are if you dare :) Can be as easy as this, “I’m 37 years old and I scored 10.5 points out of 15. Yay?”

Thanks for the stimulation, PF Junkie!

A Checklist of 15 Financial Goals To Hit posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ