#WHERE THE FUCK DID RHIS THING COME FROM

[asmodeusamaryllis]

Having a virus scare on my laptop only to do some research n it apparently appears to be a twitch issue OMFG

[iwaasfairy]

┌─ “ ! „ HEARTBEAT

tw. pseudocest, noncon, possessiveness, grooming?, age gap, blood, murder, a lot of trauma bonding

wordcount. 6k

a/n. thank yoUUUU rhi for betaing you are my favorite as alwaysssss I love you soooo much ♡♡

okkotsu yuuta x fem!reader

Blood is splattered on the ground of the dirty alley, and there’s another heavy thump when his kick once again lands on the kid’s skull and he moans in pain. He calls him a kid in his head because he’s got that shit-faced little attitude, and now an ugly gap where his front teeth used to sit, but he should be old enough to know better. As a couple passes by the narrow street, he shields things from view a little, before using the long edge of his sheathed sword to push the dumb, bloody face to the side. Because his eyes are starting to look like two overripe tomatoes from the impact, he couches down before the sandy brunet.

“You know what this is about?” Yuuta’s voice is hoarse. He hadn’t really noticed it before, but it’s been a busy week cleaning up your messes. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind. If anything, it makes him feel sort of useful. You’re good and kind and don’t get into trouble on purpose — which is why he’s here late at night making sure things get handled. Niisan’s got it, after all. He doesn’t bother to clear his voice. “Hey.”

“Take my cash,” the young man below him now whistles through the missing teeth, teary eyes darting around as he pats his hand all over himself to look for a wallet.

Yuuta scoffs. “I don’t want your money. If I did, you think I’d waste my time beating your face in like you had it coming?” The anxious, almost nervous lilt to his own voice doesn’t escape him. If you could see him now, you’d probably say that he was enjoying this too much - and while he is, the idea of this getting back to you doesn’t escape his mind. It won’t though, logically speaking. The kid probably wouldn’t be able to see straight for a couple hours, and you will never find out. “I want to know why you’re hanging around Rika’s kid sister.”

“Kid? W- I don’t know any Rika!” He yelps when he tries to lift his head and gets the handle of the weapon hit hard onto the bridge of his nose again, adding more blood to the mess that’s running all over the bottom of his face. Yuuta really can’t see it, lifting his top lip in slight disgust. Handsome, where? Just as much as this boy isn’t really a kid anymore, neither are you. But you’re younger, and deserving of protection — is it really so bad he wants to imagine you as his baby sister for a bit longer before you start trying to escape from under his wings?

Not that you’re going to go anywhere.

“I don’t know a Rika,” the blond whines again now, hiding his face into his hands to drool and hiccup against the cold floor.

“Orimoto Rika, has a kid sister.” Yuuta bites back, patience running really thin.

“O-I- I kn- oh, we’re in the same uni prep class!” He gets up to close his eyes and focus all his attention on not just kicking against his skull until the answers fall out. He knows that, how else would he even know to ask? The head damage takes it a few seconds to make the guy continue, sniffling. “We’re friends- or- my friend knew her. I liked her so we hung out a few times.” Yuuta’s hand is cold around the worn handle.

He takes a slow breath, watches the cloud of air as he lets it out. The promise ring glints in the light of the street, and it’s all familiarity and instinct that makes him brush his thumb over it. “Were you serious with her? Or did you tell her whatever so you could fuck her? Hm? Did you fuck my little sister?” The brunet snivels and whines under him when his foot lands back right before his face, demanding attention.

“I won’t talk to her anymore, I swear! I swear I w-won’t even - it’ll be like I never existed. Please.” The pitiful whining he’s doing, groveling like a dog below him - sort of reminds him of a younger him. Someone who didn’t have a purpose yet, and was scared of everything for it. The heavy weight of the ring clings to his hand when he lifts it to unsheath the katana, seeming to wrap a comforting palm around his own. If he could, he'd tangle fingers with her.

“P-please, let me go home! I didn’t do- I wouldn’t touch your s-sister, I didn’t know.”

“I hate guys who aren’t serious with her.” He clicks his tongue, and has to spit out the nasty taste that this entire situation leaves on his tongue. The weight of the sword is barely an inconvenience when both hands wrap around the handle properly. He’s doing this for Rika and him. Always. “She deserves so much better.” A mean flash of possession crosses his thoughts - how no one except him will ever be good enough. But he pushes it back, because that has nothing to do with why he’s doing this. Nothing.

+

“Yuuta~” Her voice haunts when he closes his eyes.

He’s in the sandpit of the Children’s hospital, rocking back and forth softly on the edge of it as he waits. The sun makes the sand nice and toasty, it warms his feet when he plants them down. “Yuuta!” It’s instinctive, when he looks up at the familiar voice. Rika’s hair travels in a perfect arc behind her when she runs to make it catch the light like a halo. Pretty blue dress making the shine of her hair even brighter, cheeks rosy, and her eyes glittering diamonds when they find his and she crashes down next to him. Her scraped knee is proof that it’s too hard, but he can’t help but smile when her cheek touches his arm on the landing.

Something hits the floor with a loud thump.

Yuuta turns over his shoulder to watch. There’s a smaller child that’s chin down on the earth behind them two, thick crocodile tears threatening to spill when Rika gasps. “Rika neechan~ Wait.” You pout, straightening up quicker than you should to reach your hands out to her. The girl hurries over to dust your cheeks off and drag you along behind her. It’s such a nice day out, Yuuta’s sweater is just thick enough to make his entire body warm. He stares at your face a little too long, before glancing between you two.

You’re still rounder than she is, but it’s undeniably eerie. “Your sister?” He asks softly, and Rika grins wide. She gently maneuvers you by the hand to sit next to her, then pulls you into a hug.

Her lips are pretty pink when she licks them. “This is Yuuta. Say ‘hi Yuuta’.” You parrot your sister obediently, as she waves your hand around at him. “Me and Yuuta are going to get married. So you should be very nice to him, okay?” Her sweet cheeks are the exact same as yours, long lashes and big, knowing eyes that always have him staring. You just look absentmindedly at the grass when Rika holds you into her side, but nod.

He smiles softly when your big eyes find his again. And Rika giggles. “And she’s gonna be your sister one day, so you gotta protect her well. We’re gonna be one happy family, promise?” She extends her arm to hold out a pinky finger at him. “That’s what I want.”

+

His fingers are pressing indents into your arm. It’s unusual. Yuuta’s always gentle, he’s soft and cares, but today his hand is screwed almost protectively tight around your upper arm, and you can’t say that you hate the feeling. Maybe childishly, you want him to squeeze even harder - so you’ll have no reason to get out.

You don’t come here a lot. Not since the accident tore open the painful scarred memory of it, but even before then, it wasn’t exactly your favorite place. It’s at Yuuta’s gentle prompting that you even managed to dress, and now walk however slowly between the low stone walls. The rain taps impatiently on the umbrella above, as the older boy casts you a careful glance. Then slowly bends to sit on his ankles, and grabs your hand ever so softly, meeting your eyes. His hands, though big enough to dwarf yours now, are almost velvety when they clasp around yours. It feels like he’s exponentially grown, while you’ve stayed pretty much the same.

Partly the illness. Mostly the age.

“Think you can go on?” he softly asks, kind eyes sympathetically regarding you. Like he’s making a judgment call about whether to turn back after all - debating the long walk back to the hospital. “I’ll be right here with you.”

“You’ve already gone before, haven’t you?” Your voice sounds a bit accusatory, a bit pouty too. Can’t be helped. Yuuta could be a living saint and you’d still find it hard. He clearly doesn’t take it to heart, because he smiles. His one hand then moves up to ruffle your hair.

“It’s still hard for me too, though,” his lips quirk up in an almost smile, but you can tell he doesn’t mean it. It’s sort of comforting to know that even someone like him feels it. Of course he would. Your neesan was family, but Yuuta probably knew her better than you ever could. He was beside her when she got out the two times, and was waiting when she had to get re-admitted. He was there when she got hit— there’s a comforting brush of your cheek when he stands back up and the umbrella gets so much higher. Yuuta blinks. “Come. I think you can do it.”

Your chubby cheeks flood with warmth, as you take his fingers into your hands with a nod. “Okay.”

It’s like this that you wind up at the headstone, stepping through dredged earth that’s been walked on too much. It seems to cling to the bottoms of your shoes with intent - you squeeze Yuuta nii’s hand tighter at the sight of the family grave. It now holds three of your kin in a warm embrace under the several bouquets of wilting flowers, and however morbidly, you think that maybe you’ll be joining soon. You’re young, but it’s not lost on you when the nurses send each other pitying looks.

“Is this where neesan’s buried?” Your voice sounds pinched and small, and sort of pathetic. You imagine Yuuta nii cried when he came to the funeral, but he wouldn’t have whined. You’re whining. You don’t want Yuuta to get fed up with you. Not when he’s the last semblance of ‘family’ you have left. After a while of staring blankly at the stone, he nods, and turns over his shoulder to smile at you again, pulling you a little closer to him. Your arms loop around his waist, staring down at the pretty whites that shake under the rain. “Is this where I’ll be buried when I die?”

He freezes. You feel bad about the double take he does when his spine goes more straight, rigid limbs dropping by his side as a deep, uncomfortable breath makes its way out. Your hands wring together instead.

However long it takes for him to unlock his limbs is however long you breathe through your tears as they well up stubbornly along your lash line, before your head is pulled to his ribs into an embrace. He swallows back emotion himself. “That’s not- I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise. I promise.”

“I’m sick-”

“No.” His eyes glint with something silvery when he takes your face between both hands and lets your childishness wash over him, clenching his jaw. “What happened to Rika was an accident- I- I couldn’t do anything then. But nothing’s going to happen to you as long as I’m here. I need- you to believe me.”

You don’t flinch when he uses your cheek to turn your face his way, but the urge still sits. His eyes study your face too intently, like he’s looking for something he can’t quite find. “I promised that I’d be a niichan that protects you.”

Rain splatters into a million glistening flecks as it meets the headstone.

“Okay,” you say.

It isn’t lost on you that his jaw is set too tight as he drags you back by the hand towards his bike, fist clenched around the umbrella. He breathes a tiny, ‘Later, Rika’ before turning on his heel. You don’t manage the same. Your voice gets stuck in your throat, even when he helps you up onto the bike rack in the back, pulling your face into his chest too tight- squeezes you to mold against him. He smells nice for a teen boy. The kiss he leaves on your crown is gentle, and leaves a soft warmth on your skin — You doubt it is really meant for you.

+

The door pushes open as you’re putting clips into your bangs, tongue trapped between your teeth. You cast Yuuta a glance through the mirror when he lingers at the door, and try to smile. “I’m almost ready.” You’re no longer too keen on fighting, the longer the silent treatment drags on. After a while of watching you with his arms crossed over his chest — he walks over to your bed to plop himself down and lets himself fall backward.

“I’m sorry,” the noiret sighs at nothing in particular, as you put on a necklace and after debating for a second, some perfume. The noise makes Yuuta look, studying you when you turn. It’s easy to forget sometimes that Yuuta didn’t have to stay with you, and he sure as hell didn’t have to give up a lot of his youth to take care of you like he does. Like your other family refuses to do when all the cards are on the table. He catches your stare. “You know I love you. I… worry when you’re not right here where I can see you. We stick together.”

“I know.” Your smile only barely makes your lips move, but you do mean it. You just wish realizations like this didn’t always have to come at the cost of fighting. “For what it’s worth, I’ll probably always forgive you.” You try to laugh, and brush your hair out of your eyes a final time before grabbing your bag. “I’m only going to be out for a few hours, max.”

Yuuta frowns when he sits up. His dark hair is brushed out of his face, damp and soft from the shower. “You’re still going?”

You blank. “Yeah, Himari and Shota are waiting for me. We’re going to see a movie.” He only has to let his eyes travel over your body and clothing once, for you to read what he’s thinking. You yank the edge of your skirt a bit lower, and pull your shoulders up. “What, what?! I can’t go out looking like this? It’s basically the same length as my uniform, what’s wrong with that?!”

“I didn’t say anything,” he breathes back, empty eyes regarding you with a static sort of- indifference, you guess.

“You don’t have to, niichan! God!” You turn to walk out the room, but Yuuta grabs your wrist when you pass by the bed. Sat down like he is, eyes tracing you like a lion- Yuuta no longer looks like the boy that used to draw stars on the ceiling of your hospital room for your amusement. Your cheeks heat when he basically glares straight at you for your attitude, and mulls the answer around in his mouth. Your anger subsides as you take a breath. This is the guy who makes you fresh apple juice in the morning, and calls you up between shifts. Because he cares. He just cares.

“Can I please go, Yuuta nii?”

After a few seconds, he clicks his tongue, staring at the edge of your skirt before tugging at it too, barely hiding a frown you can see dig between his brows. “You know I don’t like that Shota kid?”

Your lips jut out. “Yeah…” It’s getting awfully close to time to leave. You take a step back just to get his hands away from you. It’s distracting, and this is your brother you’re dealing with. “But he’s really nice. He started high school already but he used to be in my class the last three years, so… so you don’t have to worry. He knows I can’t do everything because I’m sick and he says—”

“Yeah, I’m sure he says everything you want to hear… You’re smarter than this. You don’t actually believe that.”

“He’s my friend.” A friend that makes your heart beat a bit faster when he smiles at you, but what’s it to him? “He doesn’t lie.”

Yuuta grimaces when you stare him down. “Don’t tell me about teenage boys, I used to be one.” He bristles before sitting up straighter, and though he’s technically below you, you still feel his energy tower as those big, dark eyes stay on your face. “Are you really ‘going to see a movie’? Or are you just going to sit in a boy’s room all night while I’m worried sick-”

You’re about ready to walk out, but his fingers are still looped around your wrist. “We are going to the movies! Himari and I! Just because a boy is there- ugh! Niichan, don’t make it weird!” The heat burns higher on your cheeks when you ball your fists, ignoring the pressure behind your eyes. This is so embarrassing. “I want to go.”

It’s quiet for much too long, making goosebumps appear all over your exposed skin. Then he breathes. “Come here.” His voice has more of an edge than it used to. You used to like the way your name fell from his lips. You’re not so sure you do anymore. Instead of storming out and forgetting all about him, you stare back at the sharpness in his eyes. When he pats his lap with familiarity, you jerk a brow. But you sit. His breath brushes along your neck too softly where he’s seated. It tickles on the way down.

It almost feels like… like he could wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze until you stopped struggling.

Yuuta nii wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.

Fingers come to your necklace, undoing it, and it drops into your lap on the pretty, blue skirt. It’s suddenly much too cold in the room, and you resist the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. It’s fine. You’re fine. Yuuta is family.

Still the untouched skin of your neck feels too exposed.

If he notices your rigid posture, he doesn’t bother fixing it. Just reaches, then pushes your head forward. The childishly familiar pink, bedazzled heart he holds up instead glints, swaying from where you left it on your side table for the night. “You get back at 9,” his lower voice sounds, “or else I’m driving out to wherever you are and dragging you back to my car.” When you don’t say anything in response, he brushes away your hair from your shoulders.

“Yuuta nii,” you start, clamming up when he drapes the dainty thing around your throat and does the closure for you. “I wasn’t going to wear that one tonight.” You don’t always want to wear whatever Rika left behind until infinity.

“I think you will,” he breathes back, and kisses your exposed shoulder. It’s less sweet, more something to punctuate his statement. If he wasn’t so familiar and soft, you’d immediately fight against the way his strong arms wind around your waist to anchor you in his lap. “Just wear it.” His hands stay against your skin, long after he’s finished. Too long, and after seconds of sitting in the tense silence, you jerk up off his lap to grab your discarded bag from the floor. The other necklace drops to the carpet somewhere, but you don’t care.

“Fine,” you bring out tightly, before giving him a last look. Your bottom lip trembles a slight bit, so you suck it into your mouth to make it stop. And tears sting at the corners despite yourself. “Later, then.”

“Tell Himari that niichan says hello. It’s been so long since she’s been here.” He gets up from your bed too, and you resist the urge to rush out the room before him when he steps around you. You can’t fight the feeling that somehow… you were just caught in your lie. Your phone beeps in your bag, as Yuuta nii disappears around the corner. Shota, probably.

+

Blood. The door creaks, swings against the wind.

Dead.

You hope he’s dead. Blood pools at the center of the showers, sinks down the drain too slowly. It sticks to the pretty porcelain tiles of the old school locker room before the water gurgles it down.

They’re dead.

You don’t have to question it before it’s confirmed. Before the heavy, silver cleaver is lodged into the side of the already ruined skull. All of them. All of the boys of the soccer team seem to be present, though you don’t want to try and count. Counting makes it real. This shouldn’t be. The heavy thump makes way for a gross squelch when he yanks the metal out, and keeps the body down with his foot.

The spatters on his face are still wet. You can’t help the way your voice comes out when you breathe in deep and try to keep the tears from spilling over. The cleaver’s red and sticky and so is his hand, up to his forearm, his forehead from wiping his hair away. All of it, ruined.

“Y-yuuta nii?”

The metal door of the locker slams closed with the wind and hits you in the back, sending you skittering forward a few steps before you force the air out of your lungs with a stuttered pant.

With a soft smile, he turns over his shoulder. “Shhh.” The blood’s crusted under his nails when he presses a finger to his lips, then waves you closer. “Help niichan out?” His eyes glint over, before his smile goes a little wider, and he whips the blood off the weapon onto the ground. “S’ your fault I had to do this after all. We can clean up together. Hm?”

Your breathing is so shallow that you can feel your heartbeat in between your ears. You aren’t sure why you nod. The guilt tastes bitter on the way down.

+

Rika was dead on impact. She didn’t have a chance, even after she fought so vehemently against what took your mom. You know that. Even if she didn’t get struck by misfortune then, she might’ve not lived past her teens.

Yuuta doesn’t seem to know. He also doesn't seem to consider the same for you either— letting you toy with the edge of his shirt where you’re curled into him in your too-small bed. The hospital wants you back for another check-up.

It’s true that you’ve already outlived your sister, but that doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. Yuuta nii doesn’t want to hear it. As he brushes your hair with his fingers, you scratch the arm where the IV’s always get attached with an absent minded pout. Until Yuuta notices, pouting down at you. “Are you still feeling dizzy? I can make you some green tea if you’ll let go of me for a few minutes. Lots of honey like you like.” You quickly shake your head.

To him this is final, the worst you’ll ever get, and in reality that’s probably not the case. You don’t tell him though. His deep eyes stay on you a little too long. “What’s wrong?”

Sometimes you wake up and can’t open your eyes past a blurry sliver, your head tight enough to make your skull feel like it’s caving in. Times where you have to clasp your stomach painfully tight to hold yourself together — stumbling in tears into Yuuta’s room. Like you’ll disintegrate in his arms unless you lock him around yourself. This isn’t as bad, but you still feel bad.

Feverish and cold all at once, achy where your stomach goes up and down. You can’t mention the possibility of having to go back into urgent care without aniiki spiraling, so you keep your mouth shut. “I don’t like green tea,” you guiltily admit instead, and stare up at him when he holds a few knuckles to your head, studying you.

His expression scrutinizes you a little tighter, before he pets over your crown. He presses a soft kiss onto your lips. It’s Rika that loved it, you want to say, but for some reason you can’t make the words come out. He sighs, slightly put out, but then nods. “If you’re feeling better later, maybe you can help Yuuta nii with the curry. Okay?”

“Mhm,” you smile up at him, and you can see how the muscles in his jaw unclench.

His soft hands cup your face intently, staring down at you too intently. It starts sweet, until the feeling of his breath dust over your face and you watch as he flicks his eyes all over you. “You look so much like her. I can tell now that you’re getting older though,” his thumb smoothes over your soft cheek. “We should see if there’s something in Rika’s stuff you can still wear.”

“Won’t be able to fit it anymore, niichan.” Your voice comes out apologetic, though you don’t know why.

“Hm. You might be right.” His look goes more distant before he pulls you closer. Legs tangled, arms loosely looped around you. “You’re still smaller than me though. Luckily.” He takes a deep breath, before nuzzling his nose into your crown to breathe long and deep. His warm hands trail over yours before squeezing. “I love you, you know that? Always will.”

You stare at the wall of mementos past Yuuta’s shoulder. Suffocatingly cram packed. Her pictures. Her music poster. Her pre-teen bottle of perfume you wear only on special occasions. Your hands stop toying with the edge of his shirt to brush instead along his forearm until you meet something that isn’t skin. Yuuta’s quiet, but his breathing is slightly pinched— you don’t mean to.

You glance between you two to the plastic your finger hooks onto. The bracelet she made in the hospital care ward for Yuuta that he still wears despite the fact that the color has long peeled off of the cheap beads. “You loved neesan, right?” Your lashes almost brush when you look back at him, watch him trap his tongue between his teeth for a moment as pink sits on his cheeks. His hand wraps around yours to tangle fingers.

“I… did.”

He swallows. “She made the hospital seem a little less lonely.” The mementos seem to stare at you from across the room as he speaks, and the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach refuses to fade. If anything, it gets more painful. Tighter. “We’re going to be together forever though. And I,” he squeezes your hand, voice fading to barely a whisper, “I love you. Love you so much.”

There's a cold slid over your fingers when he moves. You allow him to slip off the band, gently, and almost as if he wants to give it to you without you noticing, his fingers slide the cursed thing onto your hand instead. His smile is gentle, makes those dark eyes look a little less pressing. “When you’re cleared from going back to the hospital, we can find me a matching one. We still have to get married, right?”

The room feels cold.

“... Okay.”

+

“Let’s kiss?”

It’s too late to be early when the shared bed gets crowded over on your side. “St- I’m going to sleep, Yuuta nii. Stop.” You don’t open your eyes to the touch, definitely not to the gentle brush of his fingers over your lips when he gets too close. Always too close- it’s suffocating. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Don’t be like that.” He sounds happy. He always sounds like that when it has to do with you, and it doesn’t take long for your eyes to flutter open when the thumb instead pushes into your mouth. “If we get married, this will be normal. Don’t pull back.” He pushes onto your tongue to make you hold it in your mouth all heavy and tasting of him, then leans in to push his forehead to yours. Deep, possessive eyes pinning you in place.

“You don’t want to?” It almost sounds mocking. You know you brought this on yourself. You asked to go home early, you asked to invite friends. Maybe this is payback the way big brothers give it. There’s tears that spring up anyway when his other hand slips under your shirt and he squeezes your soft belly. As the spit he wipes on your lips gets kissed away by an impatient sigh. “I’ve wanted to for such a long time. You wouldn’t ask me to wait more.”

“Yuuta nii. We’re siblings, aren’t we?” The ring glitters. Your hand is clenched into the front of his shirt as warm hands grab down your body— hands you love. Hands you trusted.

“Of course we are. That’s why I’m doing this, silly girl.” Hands that push your underwear down your round hips despite you fighting to keep them up. He giggles when you burn with embarrassment, before pressing kisses to your temple. “I love you. I love you, I love you. Who better to kiss you than big brother?” You shake your head, try to push- he doesn’t budge. Just keeps your body in place under his with his weight.

“G-get off of me, Yuuta! Stop being so weird!” You cry, pushing until he grabs your wrist and forces it down beside your head. He’s still smiling though, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like you’re still a child acting out. It’s that which makes you squirm more, and the glare digs into your forehead when he gets on top of you. “Stop~ I don’t want to kiss.”

Instead he laces his fingers with your ring hand, as the other patiently flutters down to rub over your pussy. You don’t want to. You don’t. Yuuta just smiles when he tilts his head to regard you, and squeezes your fingers a little tighter. “Rika-chan asked me to take care of you. Don’t get so mad.”

+

It’s getting cooler and cooler and cooler the longer he stands. Pressed in the corner of the sterile, greenish blue atmosphere with white sheets draped over your body. He takes a long, deep breath until the nurse finishes up with the checks, taking freshly drawn blood away in a vial. “You’re the guardian?”

The red stands out against your complexion as your restless sleep drifts deeper— he shifts in his seat to lace his hands together. “Her big brother, yes.”

She doesn’t bother to pretend to care when tapping her clipboard, gives a distracted smile. “The doctor will be here within the next hour, okay? Please wait here until then.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Yuuta’s quick not to let the smile quirk up onto his mouth when she’s already walking out before he finishes. As soon as the door falls into lock he gets up from the uncomfortable chair to kneel by your bedside and grasp your hand.

Soft. Small.

He hates to admit that he could spend hours here by your side; but the truth is the truth. He could, and he has. And he will, until it is no longer necessary.

Yuuta kisses your hand with a gentle smile, feeling your heartbeat thump under his lips. You mumble, he swears he can hear his name. “I’m here. Niichan’s here.” He smiles a little more when the soft fingers wrap back around his hand and he watches your expression relax even in your sleep. He can’t help it, the soft thumping against his cheek makes his entire body warm.

You’re so alive, and so close- every cell in his body yearns to be beside you. He kisses the area between your thumb and pointer in an attempt to soothe the feeling of biting down entirely. Instead he clasps your hand with two of his before standing up. “You would have loved Rika.” His mouth tingles. “She would’ve hated you- but you would have loved her. I think she would have been a bit jealous though.”

He dips to press a soft kiss onto your lips, humming softly when your warm breath dusts over his cheeks. “You’re so cute.” A few years ago, you would’ve had visitors waiting for you. “I know you were looking forward to graduation, but I’m still here for you.” He places his hands on both sides of your face to hover over you instead of pulling back, can’t keep himself from it.

“You don’t want to leave your niichan, right?” It’s not your fault that everyone else wants you to move on. He’ll take you just as you are. He has to force himself to pull back before he kisses you again, so you don’t wake just yet. You will. And you’ll cry into his chest about missing your precious graduation, and about being stuck here again, just when you were getting better. He never much wanted you in uni anyway.

From his space sat on the edge of your bed, he can easily see how the blanket squirms. How the motion curls and wiggles until he easily pulls the sheet down your chest, then your stomach.

Two beady eyes stare up at him as he brings his face a little closer. The fly head is still clinging to your stomach, hasn’t moved from where he left it. By now it’s become an accessory every few months. It’s not strong enough to kill you— just barely enough to keep you believing you’re still sick, and that’s all he really needs. You need his care, need him. He resists the urge to pick the thing up at least until he can take you back home.

Instead he nudges it up a little higher, so he can place his palm onto your belly to stroke gentle circles in its place, feeling the heat through the gown. He can feel your heart bounce all the way down your body, it’s so cute. When the little fodder curse crawls onto your chest, lids shooting open as you gasp. “Yuuta nii-” Your eyes are lined red, and as soon as they find him you start bawling.

More than happy to let him hike you up from the bed and into his arms, where you bury your face into his neck. Your hiccups are so cute. It’s easy to kiss them quiet when you don’t have enough breath to ask him to stop. He’s sure this time he could slip his tongue into your mouth and you wouldn’t say a thing.

All Rights Reserved © IWAASFAIRY 2024. Works are exclusive to this Tumblr.

[bookclubforme]

Fuck all of Xaden’s simp point of views. I would trade my left tit for Liam’s POV when he gets moved into Violet’s squad.

First of all, I’m assuming Xaden had an actual conversation where he asked Liam, but did he actually explain to him it was because Violet was attacked in her sleep? Did Xaden give Liam a run down on Dain being her childhood best friend? That she and Rhi are friends because Violet gave her a boot on parapet?

Because Xaden’s usual level of communication leads me to think that the extent of that conversation was “Liam, I need you to protect Violet, because if she dies I die.” “Sure, anything for you, Xaden.”

I’m just going feral imagining Liam trying to sus things out when Xaden dumps him in the squad.

First of all, Violet and Xaden get into a pissing match about Liam being added to the squad that has people gasping that she’s talking to a wing leader like that.

Then their squad leader is overly concerned about her very visible bruises, drawing attention from everyone around them about it.

And then there’s a wild turn out of nowhere, because while Panchek is setting up for the disciplinary stuff, they start teasing Ridoc about sleeping with the XO for 2nd wing, and with no prompting, Little Ms. Violet Sorrengail goes:

“I miss sex.”

Ma’am, you’re supposed to be the smart one. The commandant has just announced their was a codex violation, and you know that you just told your wing leader who has a vested interest in your safety about a codex violation against you last night, and you get so distracted by your own horniess that you don’t even think that it’s about you when you hear the announcement? Get it together Violet.

That is one of the very first things that Liam ever hears Violet say. The first five minutes that he gets to be around Violet, and see her around her friends and one of the very first things she does is publically admit she’s horny.

Liam is right behind her, and right beside Ridoc. So judging by the fact that Ridoc hears it and responds, Liam ABSOLUTELY heard her.

And Liam doesn’t have any context to know that when Ridoc offers to have sex with Violet, and Violet teases him back with amending her statement to ‘I miss good sex,’ that she isn’t teasing Ridoc because they had sex before! Liam could totally absolutely hear that exchange and think that Violet and Ridoc had a thing.

Liam is standing there, watching Violet have a weird moment with her squad leader, flirt with another one of her squadmates, all while the proceedings for a public execution are starting. That is his first impression of the woman he is now responsible for keeping alive.

And Liam probably also somewhat knows Ridoc and Violet from comments they make in classes. Violet’s smart, Ridoc’s the class clown. But the first impression they both make is “Horny and screwing around the chain of command”

Granted, both Violet and Ridoc get it together and both of them come to the marked one’s defense during the execution proceedings. Ridoc outright calls Nadine out for being biased against the marked one’s.

Just the idea that Liam’s first impression of his new squad mates is “horny, but good people” is so funny to me.

We were absolutely robbed of a scene of the iron squad sitting around talking about all their first impressions and Liam just absolutely teasing them about how horny they came across.

[danikamariewrites]

Hi!! I absolutely love your fics!! I loved Good Morning with Xaden. Could you do a part 2 of good morning so Xaden can finally have a good, refreshing 😏 morning with reader after he “drags” them back from flight training lol

Drag You Back (SMUT)

Xaden x reader

A/n: YYESSS!! I was looking forward to writing Xaden putting Dain in his place lmao. And yes Cadmus is back LOL

Warnings: smut

Judging by the position of the sun it was way past the hour you told Xaden you’d be back by. You were hoping that Xaden would get impatient now and fly out here. Dain was getting far too aggressive about offensive maneuvers and you wanted a break.

Landing on the field you knew this was just for a break and he’d have the squad back in the air. You jump down from Cadmus, returning his annoyed look. He huffed as you took a sip of water. “I know big guy. I want a break too.” Cadmus huffed louder, “What crawled up his ass?”

You chuckle into your water bottle. “I’m not sure but I’m hoping Xaden does come drag me out of here for once.” Cadmus seemed to hum and look off toward where the rest of the dragons rest. You know exactly what he’s doing, little bastard. “Stop that.” “Stop what?” He responds with an innocent tone. “You know what.”

Cadmus laid his head down with a slight smirk playing at his mouth. Liam and Rhi came to chat during your break and you all agreed that Dain is in a shit mood, clearly punishing everyone for nothing.

Before Dain could call you all back to mount your dragons Xaden cut him off. You turned, trying to keep the giant grin from your face. “Wing Leader, how can I help you?” Dain grits out. Xaden gives him a shit eating grin. He’d never get tired of having power over Dain.

“Yes actually. Professor Carr needs to see her,” Xaden points at you. Dain let’s out an annoyed sight, rolling out his neck. “Fine.” “Problem Aetos?” Dain glares at him and swallows his insult. “Nope. No problem.”

“Good,” Xaden pushes past him motioning for you to come with him, “let’s go sweetheart.” Rhi and Liam snicker behind their hands. Xaden is shameless when it comes to your nicknames in public. When you first got together he cared about keeping things secret. But as people started to realize you were his Xaden became proud to show you off on his arm.

You trailed behind Xaden while walking back to the college. Once the door slammed shut behind you he turned, a wicked grin on his face telling you he didn’t forget his promise. You jumped into his arms wrapping your legs around his waist. Xaden’s hands find home in your hair, pulling you into a heated kiss.

“Take me back to bed Riorson.” You say against his lips. “As you wish, sweetheart.” As you left kisses all over Xaden’s exposed neck he races back to your room.

Back in your small cadet quarters Xaden unceremoniously tosses you on the bed and starts hastily ripping his uniform off. You do the same, desperate to feel him. You did feel bad leaving him this morning. Especially since you had been craving him since you woke up. Xaden was all you could think about during flight training.

How he’d hold your waist while flying on Sgaeyl, fixing your stance during training, and your favorite, when he runs his large fingers through your hair rubbing your scalp. Gods you were soaked just thinking about his hands on you.

Once you were both bare Xaden caged you in with his body. He nips and sucks at the skin on your jaw down your neck and chest, stopping at your breast taking your nipple in his mouth. Sighs leave your lips and you hold him to your chest threading your fingers through his dark hair.

You grind your hips into his feeling his hardened length press against your thigh. Another sigh falls from your lips at the feeling. “Fuck Xaden, need you. Please.” He lets your breast fall from his mouth smirking at you. “Oh so now you need me, huh.” His deep teasing voice sending another wave of wetness to your core.

You shoot him a look that says tease me later. He happily obliges your silent request and starts teasing you with his fingers. Xaden spreads your slick through your folds and then coats his cock with it.

Xaden presses the tip to your entrance looking to you for permission. You nod and he slides in. A mewl sounds from you as you instinctively wrap yourself around Xaden. You claw at his shoulder blades and bury your face in his neck.

He slowly pushed deeper and deeper inside you. Xaden pulls out, swearing at how tight you feel around him. “Fuck sweetheart. You take me so well. Your sweet little pussy was just meant for me.”

The moan you let out spurs Xaden on. His pace getting faster and needier. Gods he knows your body so well. No one else could find all these parts of you like he can. Xaden knows just how to position himself to hit that sweet spot over and over.

Your eyes flutter shut and you bite lip as one of his shadows slithers over your hip to toy with your clit. The coolness of the black tendril a stark contrast to Xaden’s warm body above you.

You feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm. You rake your nails up his back and he hisses at the pleasurable pain. “Xaden,” you squeak out as his hips slam into you. Your moans becoming more persistent.

“Xaden I’m gunna - fuck - I’m gunna come.” His shadow starts moving faster on your clit. You arch into his chest and feel his cock twitch against your walls.

Your orgasm courses through you like lightning, “That’s it baby, show me how much you love my cock. So fuckin good f’me.” As Xaden keeps fucking you through your high your thighs shake around him.

Two more thrusts of his hips and Xaden was spilling into you. His thick cum coating your walls in spurts as he presses into you. Xaden drops his head into you neck nipping at you a few more times.

Your body relaxes under him as Xaden lazily brings one of his hands to hold the back of your head, the other on the small of your back. He flips so you’re laying on top of him and he moves his hips, sliding his softening cock out of you.

“Thank you for coming to get me. Totally worth it.” His chest shakes as he laughs. He gently strokes your hair, “I think today is a do nothing day.” He says letting out a tired sigh.

“I think so too.” You move up Xaden’s body and peck his lips. Then rest your forehead against his, brushing your nose against his crooked one.

[overjoyedisland]

Happy Birthday, Xaden Riorson!

In honor of Xaden's birthday, I'm resharing the scene of his surprise party from Long Time Coming (post-IF, pre-OS fic).

A minute later, I feel Xaden’s presence approaching. I prepare everyone for his entrance, then place myself directly in front of the door, so he’ll have layers of surprises. (Or at least his mother’s presence should be a surprise. I’ve worked really hard at keeping that a secret, so he wouldn’t even catch a hint through anyone’s intentions.)

When the door opens, I greet him with my biggest smile. His jaw drops as he takes in my outfit. “Happy birthday, love!” I call out.

“Violet,” he whispers my name as he pulls me in for a kiss. “Let’s skip dinner. There’s only one thing I’m hungry for right now.”

“No way. Rhi doesn’t think you’ll make it to the chocolate cake and we’re going to prove her wrong. I promise I’ll make the wait worth your while.”

He nips at my bottom lip as he pulls back. “I think Rhi is right in this case,” he tells me as his gaze rakes my body.

“Behave yourself,” I murmur softly as I turn in his arms so that he can say hello to the rest of the party.

He stiffens as he looks around the room, everyone calling out birthday greetings. I feel it the second he spots his mother. His breath catches and I feel true surprise flood the bond. I beam with pride and let him withdraw from me to greet her. 

“Mama,” he says in Deverelli as he sweeps toward her. 

“My dear son,” she responds, accepting his hug.

Just like their greeting several months ago, they murmur comfort to each other in Deverelli, but this time I understand their words. She apologizes for missing so many of his birthdays. He tells her he’s so glad she is here for this one. When they break their hug, they are not the only two in the room wiping their eyes.

“How did you manage to keep this from me?” Xaden asks incredulously as he parts from his mother and walks back to me.

“It was so fucking hard and I don’t ever want to try to surprise you again.” That earns me a genuine smile.

“Good. You know I don’t like to be surprised, but I appreciate this one.” He stops short on his approach. “Wait! Did my mother make the chocolate cake you mentioned?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, Rhi loses. We’re definitely staying for that. But not a second longer.”

I smile up at him as he pulls me into his side, kissing my temple.

“We should sit so they can bring in the food,” I suggest.

He nods. “Will you sit with me?”

“Anything you want, love.”

“Careful what you promise,” he warns.

“No need for caution,” I disagree. “I mean anything you want.”

He draws a sharp breath through his nose, then pulls me to the head of the table. He asks a staff member to bring my chair over from the other end of the table.

He asks his mother to sit on his other side and there is some shuffling as everyone rearranges themselves into new positions from where they are used to sitting at the table.

After the food is delivered, Xiomara smiles at us. “I’m glad to see your love is still as strong as it was when you visited me.”

“Stronger,” Xaden corrects. “The past two months have been grueling and I couldn’t have done any of it without Violet. You should have seen her sitting on her throne this morning, listening to the Assembly drone on insufferably.”

I smile softly at him, squeezing his thigh. “Keep that up and it will be rough tonight.”

“Sounds perfect.” I send the mental equivalent of a wink. He sends back a grumble and shifts in his seat to accommodate the tightening of his leathers.

The rest of the dinner is delightful. It’s a great opportunity to take a night off after having almost no downtime in the past several months. It’s not nearly as lavish as the opulent dinners in Cordyn, but it includes just the right amount of sophistication to match the occasion.

When the cake slices are delivered, Xaden is practically salivating. He apprehensively takes his first bite, then lets out a groan that sends a flood between my legs. “Oh gods, mama, it’s better than I remember.”

As soon as he swallows the last bite, he stands and takes my hand. I shovel the last bite of my cake into my mouth as I stand up with him. “Thank you all for a lovely celebration tonight. Violet and I have some important business to take care of, but please continue to celebrate as late as you like. Let’s start at 10 tomorrow to give us all some time to sleep off tonight’s festivities.”

I hear Ridocc call out, “Make sure you find your conduit before you attend to your important business.”

I reach out to Sgaeyl, “Will you give Xaden a birthday gift of cutting off your power to him tonight?”

She agrees and Tairn promises to do the same for me.

[whatifieatedpaperlol15]

Hey can you explain the will wood hair war for me. I'm confused. Why are there ocs. I wasn't a part of it please explain it. Please

(to answer the other ask- dont worry rhis isnt rude at all! Also sorry for late reply- I was a sleepn��)

okay- so basically the whole will war thing started when bald will wood and his roommate created hair will wood (gimmick accounts who would post bald/hair pictures of will wood daily) and decided it would be funny to jokingly start a feud. Well it worked- so alot of people wanted to join in! What they would do was create a side blog, grab a random feature or object and slap will wood at the end of it.(ex: nose will wood)

so anyways at first when it was still kind of small, it was mainly memes and jokes for shits and giggles. Making comical things happen, usually our actions centered around our gimmick.

Like say paper will wood for instance (dispite the fact I didnt make a side blog, I low-key was just kind of lazy - but with the resurgence i finally did yay) they at first would “cast” things on the enemy balds “origami-magic-style - insert something random and quirky here”

I think when meow will wood and woof will wood came into the picture, writing very detailed prose it being technically a joke, with the punchline being the entire point of the war- things took a shift.

more and more people started to join- and it started to become a comical role play. For me it became that when I interacted with eyebrows and liminal (love you guys!!! /p) another defining thing was when liminal started to make the updated charts, showing the relations in the war between the characters (who’s a general, whos on hair/balds side, are Chris and will (I will explain thst soon) still captured by the balds etc.)

and also when people started to become more creative with their woodlings (I’ll explain that in a moment too) or building off from their silly wacky one, giving them lore and backstories as more and more people shifted to role playing. as February became march, it really was that, people even began to talk to the characters they would interact with most, elaborating where they were gonna go next with their plot (still do!).

And coincidentally, the ides of march was coming up. That was to be the “final act” of the will wood hair wars. Basically setting bald and hair free (the admins didnt want to participate anymore- which is always fine. If you joined and had to leave there is absolutely nothing wrong with that)

anyways we classify that as era 1. Usually pretending it was the most violent and war torn era (even though it was so fucking funny brooooo)

Some people still wanted to participate in the will wars, so we cooked up the elections, era 2. And it was going great! Until it wasn’t. One day this guy pretending to be Chonny jash or something started to harass alot of people, even joined the will wars community thingy (those tumblr community things) spammed some awful shit, we got rid of him- but it just tired alot of people.

It also opened a Pandora’s box of people not in the hair war telling us to end it, it was becoming annoying and obnoxious, were flooding the will wood tag (which thst last one was a serious problem during era 1, but we fixed it and made sure to avoid that tag, but it was so long ago- I have to admit it annoyed me thst they were saying that as we have been so careful, monitoring ourselves and making sure to not inconvenience anyone. Ruined by trolls. But I digress.) so anyways we kind of got a deadline to “wrap things up” by a certain date, and we did. Thus ending era 2.

and also people we’re essentially saying that what we were doing was inappropriate and disrespectful towards will wood- saying that it’s rude to roleplay as a real person

that one made me realize that this is so much a role play that these characters aren’t even will wood anymore, theyre our own oc’s who are based off of certain will wood aspects and references mainly for comidic relief, but at the same time will woods dicography and aspects was like the basis of the whole logic system of the wood verse- and it was probably important to define that with how far in we were - so thats why we were now called “woodlings” as a species in the world (or willworld as liminal like s to call it) and the Chris and will being trapped, not being rp'd by anyone, we’re pretended to be “Gods incarnate” to those who were religious in game (some people think theyre the real will and Chris, some think theure con men, either way it was an immense political decision in game to kidnap them - but it’s okay because they were just playing dti style showdown in their cage at the balds barracks)

so anyways, browses admin and I had been kind of elaborating on the entire thing, establishing certain things thst solidified the fact that this is a world on its own- heavily referenced to will wood and other brainrot. We even created a geographical system to whereas different albums were regions, different songs were cities and landmarks, also elaborated on which album is next to which, not in a chronological way but mainly based on vibes and sound (it’s still very conceptual) aswell as elaborating on our own characters and their relationships with eachother (so much lore man)

so anyways, last week or a week before last idk, with summer coming up, alot of people decided “hey remember that? Thst was fun we should do it again” so ever since that, era 3 began. And now that things are more clearly established, it’s alot easier for people to join or roleplay and overall have fun. I also am glad that this one is going alot slower than the other two eras, mainly because of the mutual understanding that alot of us are either busy, or in different time zones and whatnot- respecting that we all have a life outside of this

Anyways this is all my own perception- so there may be some inaccuracies. and I have no idea if this helped in anyway or was coherent- and if anyone wishes to add on or correct me with anything feel free to! and thank you for asking!!!

[readychilledwine]

Requiem for a Dream

Part two: Oxytocin

(One month later)

Rhiannon and Rhysand have fallen into a routine. Rhys life consists of therapy with Madja, training with Cassian, and returning to his work as High Lord. The only thing missing now is the pretty female he calls his wife.

Warnings - NSFW, sexual tension, mutual masterbation, voyeurism/exhibitionism, and as always unedited. Minors - shooo DNI

A/N - our first slightly spicy scene between two lovers who just can't communicate. This part was written with "Oxytocin" by Billie Eilish in mind.

Part One Part Three Part Four

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Rhiannon smiled as she walked out into the training room where a constant tug was coming from the bond.

She could hear Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand laughing. She could feel joy in her bones, lighting her spirit like a flame.

She rested her forearms on the ledge, leaning forward to watch her shirtless husband getting his ass handed to him by her brother. Mor appeared next to her, taking her left hand in her own and squeezing. "He's doing better today. Still a little slower than he used to be." Her bell-like laughter came. "His knees popped, Rhi."

Rhiannon covered her mouth, snorting before she began to laugh. Cassian had noticed her, sending her a wink before beginning to ref the sparing taking place again.

It took Azriel no time to throw Rhysand on the ground. "Gods you are so out of shape," Azriel helped him up. "Maybe you should be sparing your wife instead."

Rhiannon's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?! What the fuck does that mean?"

Cassian smirked. "It means the second your mate is around you stop training. Lazy brat. Relying on her oh so powerful husband for protection."

"I've been busy dealing with my duties, general." Rhiannon blinked at the three laughing males before giving Rhysand a look. Her eyes went from his head to his feet and back up before she smirked. "Besides, I could take him."

Silence fell over the training area.

Rhysand was nodding before he clicked his tongue. "Then come try, Rhiannon Darling." He snapped her illyrian training leathers onto her body, motioning for her to join them in the ring. "Come on, mate."

Rhiannon glared at him, walking to the ring as Azriel shook his head. "If you two do what you did last time you trained together, I'm going to take my own eyes out with a spoon."

Rhiannon smiled at her big brother, who glared at her in return. "That'd only stop you from seeing it, Azzie. You still have to smell and hear it." Azriel gagged loudly, shooting a look to a laughing Cassian before flipping all three of them off.

Rhys stood face to face with his wife, an ever growing smirk on his face. "You look lovely today, my dear. How was my uncle?"

Rhiannon rolled her eyes, taking the hair tie Cassian was offering her. "Oh. Charming as always. I had planned on going into town and spending your gold to make up for being forced to see him, but evidently, I will be nursing your wounds and looking lovely for that instead."

Cassian chuckled backing away. "Oh Rhys," the general spoke, "Rhi-rhi spent the last 50 years training with me daily to work out her anger. Have fun with that." The smirk her mate wore fell as she smiled sweetly at him. "Begin."

Rhys made the first move, wanting to get Rhiannon on the ground as fast as possible to prevent her from getting hurt. His arms went around her waist, locking tightly. Rhiannon recovered quickly, going on the defensive and slamming her foot into his and then her elbow into his lower stomach.

His grip on her loosened, allowing her to grab and twist one of his arms behind his back. He moved quickly, freeing himself from her grasp before tutting her from across the ring.

He struck first again, catching her into a forward bear hug and lifting her off the ground. Rhiannon looked to Cassian, slightly panicked, and he nodded at her. "You know how to get out of this, sis."

Rhiannon locked her feet behind Rhysand's knee pits and began digging her heels in. She heard her mate yelp and his knees slightly bent. She took advantage, throwing her body weight forward and knocking him onto his back on the ground.

She had pulled Rhysand's head into her shoulder and neck to protect him in the fall and unlocked her legs as quickly as she could. She moved to look down at him with a smile before realizing the position they were in.

Rhysand and Rhiannon were silent as she sat on top of him, hands having fallen to his chest. His hands were tightly locked on her hips. Their lips were inches apart. The tension between them could have been cut with the dullest of knives. Unknowingly to each of them, they were both craving each other. Desperate to touch each other. Rhiannon knew she needed to wait, though, despite the growing heat in her body. She was off of him instantly and moving quickly to the door.

She heard him calling her name, following after her, asking what was wrong, but she didn't stop. She knew if she did, her own selfish needs would get in the way of his healing. Opening a door and shutting herself into the spare bedroom she had moved into since his return, Rhiannon warded it from him before ripping her leathers off on the way to the bathroom.

—-----------

Rhys slammed the nearest object onto the ground before sitting on his bed. He was this close to her. This close to taking advantage of the opening the four of them had set up to get Rhiannon to kiss him and possibly touch him.

He felt like an addict without a fix the past week. He was ready to start trying physical intimacy with his wife, his beautiful selfless wife. He sighed and leaned back on the bed, tugging that bond between them gently and knocking on her mental shields.

"What are you doing, little nightingale?" Rhys felt his brows growing up as her emotions hit him tenfold. Arousal and need smacked him in the face as he found that one small gap she always left in her mind for him.

He wasn't prepared for the image that greeted him. His wife had her pretty little fingers buried in her cunt, her head tossed back in pleasure before she returned watching herself in the mirror imagining it was him fingering her instead of herself.

Rhysand moved his hands to his leathers untying them and freeing his aching cock from his pants before running his hand over the already leaking tip. He began to stroke himself in time with her movements as she rode her hand. He could feel how turned on she was, how needy she was, he could hear her moans. He could practically taste her on his tongue as his eyes shut, and he moaned her name softly.

He began speeding up his movements as he saw one of her hands squeeze her perfect tits and her fingers come out to play with that bundle of nerves he could use to make her cum within seconds. She was close, panting his name like a prayer over and over as if he was there. She was tugging the bond, accidentally allowing the overly active string of fate to send her pleasure straight to her mate.

He desperately wanted to be behind her with his hand in place of her own, her body pressed tightly against his larger frame as his long fingers pulled her apart and he whispered every single thing he'd be doing to her, but only if she was a good girl and came for him.

One more circle around her swollen clit was all it took for his wife to come undone on her own hands and fingers. He followed her over that edge, both of them moaning out each other's names. He relaxed back, breathing heavily and watching as his mate sat in the guest bathroom, shivering and coming down from her orgasm. He set the goal then and there as he saw her slick dripping down her thighs.

Within the next month, he'd kiss her, bring her back to their bed, and he'd at least taste her.

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Tag List:

@horneybeach1

@we-were-beautiful

@cat-or-kitten

@twsssmlmaa

@dream-alittlebiggerdarling

@tothestarsandwhateverend

[shinycozytwistedglam]

Onyx Storm RECAP ch43

Bex decided to channel her inner Aaron Sorkin here so we get a chapter that's just...people talking. (Free fanfic idea: Xaden & Ridoc doing a White House walk & talk, with dick jokes, you're welcome.)

This chapter almost certainly contains a ton of FORESHADOWING that I may or may not have captured for your attention.

WTF is happening in ch43?

Quest squad regroups after the encounter with the irids.

Violet says there's no point in visiting the last inhabited isle, Loysam (dedicated to Loial, the goddess of love), because that island doesn't have an army. It's time to go back to Basgiath and see what's happened while they've been gone.

Will skipping the last isle be important? Is the secret to saving Xaden actually on Loysam? Or was this isle quest just getting too long? Guess we'll find out eventually.

Violet & Ridoc walk into the woods so she can come clean about the fact that Xaden has been venin for months. Ridoc says all the things a reasonable person who isn't in love with Xaden would say about the situation. (He's bonded to a powerful dragon, he's the Duke of Tyrrendor, AND he's a dark wielder. Great.) This is a fantastic moment for Ridoc and also a moment that makes me think he's doomed (sorry).

Violet admits she's selfish when it comes to Xaden, and maybe a little self-destructive these days. She says there's no rider alive who could stop Xaden even now, and admits that she won't/can't hurt him. (I feel confident that this will be put to the test eventually and it fills me with DREAD.)

Ridoc pushes Violet to define "the line" where he's not Xaden anymore, and Violet draws it at all the bad stuff we hope Xaden never does—kill civilians, hurt a dragon, hurt Violet. Ridoc seems satisfied, and gives her another round of "the four of us (Vi, Rhi, Ridoc, Sawyer) are stronger together."

Xaden is waiting for them and acquiesces to Ridoc's demand that the Scooby Gang be brought into the Xaden conspiracy to help protect Violet. He says that if it's between him and Violet, he chooses Violet every time, and to "kill the other guy I become." 😬

Ridoc leaves and Xaden tells Violet that he feels responsible for fucking up the conversation with the irids, that maybe if he hadn't been there things would've turned out better. (I'm never going to forgive the irids for calling Andarna the thing that they abhor so...fuck them.) Xaden is clearly full of guilt and self-loathing, and says he's the worst possible thing for the mission, for Tyrrendor, and for Violet.

--

Quest squad heads home but everyone's in a shit mood, especially Andarna.

Warm welcome on the flight field from Rhi & Sawyer, but of course General Aetos has to appear and ruin the moment. He hands Violet a letter from Theophanie, which is full of her usual creepy stalker vibes.

Chapter ends on a downer: while they were gone, the capital city of Poromiel, Suniva, fell to the dark wielders.

Queen Maraya is dead. That means Tecarus is king...for however long it lasts.

So, what did we learn on this adventure to the isles?

Violet stepped up as a leader on this journey, making decisions and setting priorities.

Xaden had a lot of good Wife Guy moments, including 2 that almost seemed like...a marriage proposal.

Mission to get allies = success. 40,000 troops from Zehyllna.

Mission to recruit the irids = failure.

I'd like to remind everyone, once again, that dragons aren't necessarily good or trustworthy, even the special ones.

Pay attention to the fact that we were shown, repeatedly, that less color=less magic, and more color=more magic

Unnbriel wants dragons. It's almost certain that they were the isle who helped the Krovlish rebels 200 years ago, then abandoned them when they didn't produce the promised dragons.

We got some good clues about Violet and the meaning of her silver hair. More on that soon!

Xaden's mom isn't a venin, but she sucks in an entirely different—and very human—way.

Asher Sorrengail knew a fuck ton about the isles, enough to write 4 (!!) books, one each for Deverelli, Unnbriel, Zehyllna, and (we assume) Loysam. How did he manage it??? When did he find the time?

[seijorhi]

hey rhi 👋

I’ve been watching a lot of zombie shows lately (ex: the walking dead, last of us, all of us are dead, world war z, zombieland etc. etc)

And while watching all those shows, they always managed to remind me about your zombie fic ‘finders keepers’ which would then lead me to wonder and boil with questions. So if you don’t mind and if it doesn’t trouble you too much, I would like to ask a couple of things ….

1. How did the apocalypse start?

2. When it did start, were they at school and just so happen to group up? Or did they join forces in a different manner?

3. While oikawa and the reader were taking shelter, where were the others?

4. When the reader went out to search for supplies for oikawa, we know the twins were following her, but what were they doing out in the first place?

5. (I might be a lil slow for this, but) Which of the twins killed the zombie, Atsumu or Osamu?

6. Why does inarizaki take in ‘strays’ and what do they do to them? And what do they do once the strays in question want to leave their group?

7. For how long did the twins have eyes for the reader?

8. How far along are they into the apocalypse?

9. How come no one seems concerned with reuniting with family or loved ones?

10. What’s the initial reaction from the inarizaki group when they see that the twins brought the reader to their base?

Well I think that’s all my questions… hopefully. But I know for damn sure that if an apocalypse were to actually happen that I’d be like the reader utterly useless and helpless (but unlike her I won’t have any strong and beautiful men to help or protect me 😔)

I would also probably opt out 😭 (people in zombie shows always have so much will to live and for what?!?!?).

Anyways, I always enjoy seeing your blog and reading yours answers to questions asked by us. I love how I’ll be doing anything in my day, and something (no matter how small it is) will remind me of one of your many glorious fics.

I hope you have a wonderful week and thank you for reading. (Stay hydrated and blessed babe 😏.)

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

- 🌬️🌫️

okay bear with me

i like to go with pharmaceutical fuck up/virus/pandemic thing à la 28 days later or the walking dead

nah, they were friends before it hit, but even pre-apocalypse it wasn't intended to be a volleyball specific thing

well technically it depends. prior to oikawa being bitten they were on a supply run. in the aftermath, they would've gone back to the school, found it overrun and depending on your own personal choice, either found themselves at the wrong end of a zombie's teeth, or they're trying to track oikawa and the reader down after escaping themselves

following :))

whichever one you think. truly i wrote it and left it ambiguous because 1) the reader couldn't see shit and couldn't determine it herself and 2) it could honestly have been either of them and i found it funnier that way. go with whatever your heart tells you

i like to think that inarizaki actually have more of a 'community'. small, but not just a bunch of guys. considering that there's food, medicine, a fuck-ton of guns and men willing to use them, they're usually pretty happy to stay. loyal enough to look the other way when it becomes clear the reader isn't going to be able to just waltz out the front gate like she thinks

inarizaki (or the core members) were aware that a few people were holing up in the school, weren't too concerned about it. more of a 'keep an eye on it and see if it becomes a problem' kind of sitch. they didn't know that group included a woman, not with how anal the others were about keeping the reader safe and tucked away from prying eyes. it was pure luck that the twins caught sight of her during a patrol, a little while before iwa and the other two left and zombies found their way inside. funny that.

somewhere between 6-12 months. long enough for the world to go to shit and for people to become adjusted to that. sort of

mostly because they either saw their family and loved ones die or they believe the chances they're still alive are slim enough not to pin hopes and dreams on. also in the reader's case because even if she had plans of meeting up/looking for someone, they'd put that shit to bed real quick

honestly i think kita would want to disapprove, but how can he? yes the twins were reckless and yes they should have discussed this together beforehand so they could have planned this, but he can't and won't argue with the end result. the reader wasn't safe where she was, now she is. she'll have access to things she was woefully lacking previously, the twins are satisfied, it's the best solution all round. thanks in no small part to how seijoh 4 treated her, there's no chance she'd survive out there on her own. such a sweet, vulnerable, helpless little thing, how could the rest of them not just want to eat her right up? they are ofc unsurprised by the twins pulling some bullshit, but hey, no one (they care about) died right? win-win.

[justallihere]

I️ LOVE and ADORE Xaden going from “I️ don’t care about you or your feelings 🙄” to “Why wouldn’t I️ come for you and take you home? 🥺”

It really reminds me of this post where someone made the commentary about Xaden refusing to coddle and be nice to Violet, even downright being an asshole about it

To giving her his flight jacket because gods forbid Violet be cold for the 2-3 minutes they would’ve stood in formation!

Love love love that growth for him, like yes king! Tell us how much you love her through your actions! Give her that flight jacket and everything!

Chapter 35 was such a GIFT! I️ loved it so much! From Mira and Xaden shelving their dislike for each other for V’s sake and just mother henning her! Loved Xaden taking care of her and reaffirming that she can be upset at the threat against her hair and the autonomy she would have been robbed of, had Aetos actually cut it. I️ love how gentle he was, making sure she was okay, even arguing with Tairn about it on the flight home because their whole dynamic in canon is just over protective dragon meets over protective enemy to mutually assured destruction to lovers, and amari give us mercy that Violet gets injured around either one of them.

I️ was so shocked and legit almost cried at the confession because bby boy X was NOT letting her think that he didn’t love her! Really gives a whole “Aretia could burn and I️ wouldn’t care as long as I️ had you.” vibe to it and I️. Am. Not. Okay!!! I️ am not normal or sane about this love confession! V is getting some HONESTY out of this man without having to jump through 5 million hoops or questions about it. X really just said it with both tiddies and his full chest!!

I️ also really loved the display of Rhi and Xaden’s conversation. He knows how much Rhi means to Violet, and having her best friend with her is the best thing for her! I’m so nervous and excited to see if you include a convo with the rest of the squad about her torture sessions and just showing how much they all love her! Cam was right! Everyone who knows Violet Sorrengail is a little bit in love with her!!

I’m curious if Violet is gonna think about how she basically begged for her mom to come with them to Aretia, when she was freed and I️ wonder what Xaden would have done if Lilith had actually planned to go with her daughter… thoughts and theories I️ suppose!!

God Alli, there are so many little things about this chapter that I️ adored and so little time to write about it! I LOVE this fic so much that I️ always am ready to read the next chapter immediately! So ready!! I️ hope this doesn’t pressure you too much but I️ did want to say that I️ adore this fic so much!! 10/10 would highly recommend!!

Also I️ hope my sleep-deprived ramblings made sense lol! Thank you for such a wonderful story and I️ cant wait for the next chapter 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Xaden’s growth has been so fun to write. Just the little moments of his growing respect for Violet, realizing he actually likes her, falling in love—it’s been one of my favorite things about this fic

Thank you! I had a great time with the two contrasting sides of Xaden in this chapter: the version of him who loves Violet and will wipe her tears and do anything for her, and the version that is just an absolute asshole to anyone who isn’t her 😂 if your name isn’t Violet Sorrengail he really doesn’t give a fuck

There’s some squad bonding next chapter 🫶🏻

Violet will definitely be reckoning with that conversation with her mom at some point—Lilith said she’d come, but will she really? Xaden would let it happen for Violet, of course, but it wouldn’t be an easy adjustment lol

Thank you so much for reading and for this ask, I appreciate you 🩷🩷🩷

[onionbug-critical]

I don’t think u can be talking about fictional stuff being offensive if ur ok with proshippers and defend them

Also u claiming that antis are worse because they’re apparently reporting art as cp and csem or csam (which btw u need to do some research on what is categorised as csam, it isn’t always explicit cp. a woman got arrested for a book glorifying pedophilia that counts as csam.) but really no fucking anti had been doing that and that’s just a lie proshippers have been spreading to make non proshippers look bad. Don’t fall for it bro.

Also several men have been arrested for using ai to generate hyper realistic ‘Loli’ art. People have every right to report suspicious behaviour. Especially with how many proshippers are on here who are VOCALLY pro para and indulge in fantasies involving children and even write it as fetish content for their followers. By being neutral he just letting paraphiles openly indulge in something that rots their brain and normalises pedophilic behaviour in them.

Im not checking ur reply just check ur facts man common fucking sense

You do realize that the loli art was also alongside actual CSEM. I never said it was okay to like that stuff, I even said I'm not actively looking for it.

My honest opinion is this both sides suck, I was saying I don't care about any of you. If that counts as being neutral then you are generally stupid.

Both are people who harass the other side both call each other pedophiles to the point the word means fuck all. Where did I say it was fine to like that shit. Oh right because you think me saying I don't care equals I condone it.

I'm like confused on peoples conclusions. Since when advocating for their own spaces and tag list SO I can have a peace of mind. You don't understand it at all because you see me, saying stop harassing people as condoning their actions.

No, I don't care about your stupid war against literal whos, I'd rather sit in my own space and listen to shit without both sides making a fuss.

Yes, paraphilla is a thing. I've called proshippers out for it, but most of the time it's not gonna do anything but make it worse. If you saw my post as a defensive of it, you'd be so wrong.

99% of this is just unwarrented harassment from both sides. Most of its just unresolved issues. I'm stating that I've never heard of a single case involing someone who only has lolicon because people assume that it was, not that no one has ever been arrested for it.

You ,ust think I'm genuinely slow as a CSA Survivor to defend it, I'm just saying it's stupid to fight children and adults over basic fucking block critera. I have never interacted with this community nor do I have plans to.

I did when I was younger because I was groomed into it, but I left that be. I'm like genuinely tired of people attaching fuckass labels onto people instead of reporting or blocking them.

I'm fine with them being contained on a different platform like Twitter of that means I can have a great day without having to justify or aide with anyone.

In conclusion I hate both of you. Antis are againts harassment but target people actively and proshippers can't literally sit down and block. They have to harass others.

I'm on the side of no one, I'm not being dragged into a debate that never ends. There's a solution fucking block and move the fuck on. Some of you never listen.

You prove my point by saying I'm not gonna reply. Everyone's quick to assume because I said something in regards to how people sre acting. Both sides doxx and harass one another. None of you deserve to be defended.

And rhis is my true opinion. Because most of you justify willful harassment over stupid shit. I'm against Pedophilla and Zoophilla, and until someone actually starts hurting children I'm going to not do anything.

I don't gain anything other then being a spastic moron for accusing a 12 year old of being a pedophile over something I can block. Of course this is coming from someone whose been calling out people for child abuse and sexual assault.

None of you take this shit seriously, you call it grape, SA, Diddy, EDP445, Drake, etc. Which is WHY I don't take claims of a proshipper being a pedo serious. If you genuinely have evidence of wrongdoing then you'd report it.

It's literally the point I was making. I'm being serious about pedophilla because no one in this fuckass universe is, I'm fed up with you claiming XYZ is this and expecting a personal army to come out of it.

People like you and others are rhe main reason why Pedophilla never gets resolved. You sit here and talk about drawings of cartoons rsther rhen GETTING INFORMATION TO GET THIS PEDO off the Internet .

Something I've been saying repeatedly but you guys ignore me. So you're willing to ignore Pedophilla just to call people out? You're wasting your time with me. I'm just a victim that wants people to actually do something because nothing ever fucking happens.

So do I care about or support it?

No, I'm just saying it's best you fuckers just leave each other alone spending your time trying to string points that will get you harassed by them isn't worth it, I tried. I did, but it never works.

It's not worth it, I'm sorry I value my privacy and sanity ove arguing with a Genshin Impact fan. I only allow safe discussions to debate them on it, not because I want a safe space for them, they have other blogs for that. My space is just for people who want to talk. I do not support predators. Nor do I proshippers or antis.

[lykegenia]

He Makes Her Cry (He Doesn't Like It)

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles Pairing: Mason x Rhiannon Lloyd Rating: T Warnings: None Summary: After the disastrous attempt to stop a kidnapping leaves Rhiannon injured, Mason has time to reflect on his mistakes.

Read on AO3

--

Mason’s clothes scrape across his skin. It burns where air currents brush against it. He hears the biomechanical creak of the joints in his fingers clenching and unclenching, the working of his organs. The glare of lamplight on the bright, biohazard yellow walls makes his eyes water. Brick dust clogs his throat. In the next room, the hiss of the shower faucet masks Rhi’s heartbeat as well as her movements, and that sets him just as much on edge as everything else as he argues between needing to know she’s alright and knowing he won’t be welcome if he invades her privacy.

Fuck, he wants a cigarette. But she doesn’t like the smell and he’s not about to step outside and leave her when she’s still so vulnerable.

He’s already had to do it once. Transferring her over to the medic, to be swept behind a plastic curtain and assessed for who knew how much damage, was one of the hardest things he can ever remember doing, her limp, fragile human body too far gone in shock to even register being handed over like a sack of cloth. The worst part was when he finally let go, and the scent of her blood finally wound beneath his panic. With his mouth watering, he shed his outer layers right there and fled, threw himself under the stream of his own shower to be rid of it. He scrubbed under the stinging water until his skin was chafed raw and his nose and eyes burned with repeated latherings of soap. The memory of it lingers, caught in the back of his throat with the dust, but at least in her room he can focus on the other facets of her scent. Hand lotion. Sawdust. Beeswax. The unscented shampoo she switched to about a month back.

There’s no further sound as she continues washing off the worst of the grime from the collapsed warehouse, at least not that he can sense over the noise of the water. He suspects she’s making a conscious effort not to do anything that will have him banging on the door again – or barging through it – but if the silence goes on much longer he’s going to start tearing out his hair.

The emptiness gives him too much time to think. The hollow, glassy look of Rhi’s eyes when he found her. The bruises already blooming across her cheeks. The coldness he can’t fathom and can’t stand that she’s forced between them ever since that morning at the bakery when he so royally fucked up. It bothers him most that he cares at all – that if the wall that fell on her were just a little heavier, or the steel bars more exposed, or the annunaki less injured, then that conversation might have been the last one they ever shared. The words burn through his mind, the shame of them unfamiliar and unwelcome, but incessant.

Why did humans have to be so damned breakable?

What she wants is to see me naked, that’s all that’s going on here.

The instant the words spring from his mouth he wishes he could cram them back in. Rhi’s pulse spikes, blood rushes to her cheeks, the peppery burn of anger laces the air. A moment passes in iron silence before she turns away to gather her coat from the back of her chair.

Sorry, Haley, it looks like I’m running late. Put it on my tab, yeah?

He has an instant to register the stab of fury at being so thoroughly ignored before her gaze flashes to him with such vitriol he almost forgets she’s human.

You’re a dick.

He only catches the tremor in her voice because he’s paying attention. By the time he’s processed it, she’s halfway down the street. The joking line he tries to get her to slow down makes her round on him with a snarl worthy of a werewolf.

Will you just stop? How many times do I have to sit through one of your shitty come-ons before you get it through your thick skull that I’m not interested?

Her heartbeat betrays her. But it’s the sharp break from her usual stoic denial that drives him close, tired of rejection. There’s nothing wrong with my come-ons, Sweetheart.

My name is Rhiannon.

Why are you making such a big deal out of this?

Because I’m sick of it!

The words are hissed, like she’d rather shout but doesn’t want to draw attention to herself. Too late for that. She’s trembling.

If you’re that desperate for a fuck, go to a bar and pick up someone who’s actually impressed, because I’m done. I’ve had enough. I’m sick of being your punching bag. If you ever say anything like that about me again, I will be putting in a harassment complaint with your handler, understand?

He wants to scoff, to diffuse the tension and brush off whatever this is because since when have human emotions ever bothered him? Their brief passions never hold his attention for long. And yet, beneath the blaze in her eyes and the song her pulse is singing him, he recognises pain. He’s hurt her.

Do you understand?

I speak English, don’t I?

He snaps because he’s thrown. It’s not a state that improves when she turns on her heel and marches off.

Where are you going?

Work.

In case you’ve forgotten, there’s a bounty out on you.

What the fuck do you actually care?

It stopped him short. The tang of salt drifted back to him on the wind.

He smoked through a whole pack within an hour trying to take the edge off the strange, sharp ache in his chest, then snapped at Felix for daring to ask how his morning went.

The rush of the shower cuts off. A few last drips, and then the tentative pat-pat of feet as Rhi steps out. There’s a faint hiss of pain, followed by the rustle of plastic as she removes the protective covering for the cast on her arm. Mason bends his head towards the door. He catches the burst of mint from her toothpaste, time stretching too slowly as the brush scrapes over her teeth.

When the handle finally clicks open, he pushes off the wall so fast that she startles. For a moment she stands in the doorway in loose pyjamas, her hair a dark, damp mass down her back and her skin now clean enough for the bruises to stand out like wine stains against her cheek.

“You’re still here,” she blurts, with a note of surprise that twists in his gut.

He doesn’t know if this is a prelude to being kicked out, so he shrugs. “Didn’t know if you’d need anything.”

“Oh.”

Rhi’s gaze flicks over him with a wariness that’s becoming habitual now, as if this is an interrogation and she’s waiting for him to switch from Good Cop to Bad Cop. But she’s tired, too. He reads defeat in the slump of her shoulders as she shuffles past him towards her bed.

“At least I hopefully don’t smell like blood now.”

His smirk is hollow. “I can always smell your blood, Swee–”

No. She doesn’t like being called that.

What did you even see in that asshole anyway? he asks as her ex saunters away trying to hide how close Mason brought him to pissing himself. When he tilts a look sideways, however, she doesn’t seem to share his amusement.

You mean between the constant innuendo and the saccharine nickname I didn’t ask for? Not a clue. Her stare bores into him to make sure the point is driven home before she turns her back in clear dismissal. Stay out of it next time. I don’t need your help to deal with Bobby.

She catches his stumble now and her heartbeat jolts again, her limbs stilling for the tiniest instant before continuing the struggle of climbing under her duvet with only one working arm.

“Let me know if the forensics team finds anything, will you?” she asks, settling back exhausted against the pillows.

He makes a decision.

“I’ll know when you know.”

The creeping stiffness in her muscles means she has to turn her whole body to frown at him. Slow. Vulnerable. Defenceless.

“I’m not leaving you alone,” he explains as he drags a chair to her bedside.

“You mean you’re going to just sit there all night?”

“The medic said you have a concussion.”

It’s only half an explanation, but he doesn’t know how to articulate that if she’s not in front of him – safe – then he won’t be able to see anything but the memory of her being crushed under a pile of rubble. At least if he’s watching over her, he’s doing something.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he promises.

Her jaw works. Her chest expands with an inhale that gets cut short by a wince of broken ribs, and whatever she was about to say dies in her throat. With the smallest shake of her head, she rolls her back to him and hunkers down under the covers. It’s a measure of how exhausted she is that she doesn’t argue, though it doesn’t lessen the tension coiled around the length of her spine. Her pain is a palpable thing, and Mason finds his hands balling into fists at how little he can help – not that actions have ever been his strong suit, and he’s even worse with words.

And then he smells salt. She’s crying again.

“What’s wrong?”

Her shoulders twitch as she sniffs. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m fine,” she insists. “Just tired.”

It’s him. Something he’s done. He’s fucked up again without knowing it and now she’s crying. Again. He can’t even pretend he’s annoyed because it’s a waste of energy.

“I can go,” he says. He even gets up from the chair. “If you’d rather –”

“No –” Rhi half sits up. Winces. “No, it’s alright. It’s just… been a long day.”

Slowly, in case she changes her mind, he settles himself again, one ankle crossed over the opposite knee. “You should sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

Another deep breath, cut off by pain. It’s an effort not to splinter the arms of the chair. Gradually, however, the stiffness recedes and her breath evens as sleep takes hold, her pulse slowing to a steady thump-thump that leads his own to follow it. She’s safe. It doesn’t matter if part of him yearns to see her face as she sleeps, to make sure her dreams remain untroubled; moving would mean disturbing her, and if she wanted to face him she would have done it herself.

Still, he’ll take what he can get. After the shaky ground they’ve been on since the bakery it’s a relief just to be able to stay. He’ll sit here all damned night if that’s what it’ll take to start him on the road to earning back her trust. He’ll stay. As long as she needs it.

[ace-malarky]

intro post 2024

sup lads, it's been like two years and I figured the pinned post probably needed updating

wait it has almost exactly been two years that's hilarious

Anyway. some things haven't changed. Name's still Ace, no matter what I write on the notes I send to my old library

I'm always up for tag games and random asks!! throw 'em my way as you like :3

pronouns are in flux! predominantly they/them, sometimes it, occasionally he. It varies on the bit, but you probably can't go wrong tbh

we're - we're going to say early 30s. it's not wrong and it's better than this being outdated in a little over three weeks when it all changes once again

no I did not plan this, no I can't do a basic formal outline, I have to ramble. what did you think i wrote for.

Other Places I Can Be Found include twitter & instagram under more or less the same username

~~~

Writing Focuses!

Everything is fantasy, everything is queer. Excerpts can be found under Writing Pieces

I'm largely jumping around between vaguely connected scenes and character work right now, but there's definitely a pattern!

mainly;

Shapeshifter WIP - when things start getting tense between neighbouring countries, Syn volunteers to slip across the border and pass information back in an attempt to avert the looming war. They may have underestimated how hard it was going to be to go back when no one recognises them and their own best friend hates them (ft. pining, friends-to-lovers of the star crossed variety, hand wavy world building, questionable morality, questionable spying techniques, A Certain Level of Dumbassery, some Fucked Up Shapeshifting)

So the Bran Rhi Sings - a Welsh inspired tale of Fair Folk and prophecies, found family and finding family, name games and hidden identities (ft. the Wild Hunt, one Feral Mage, a pair of raven siblings, and the Fair Folk urge to adopt every lost child in sight)

Dumb of Ass, Snake of Tits - a DnD story of a dragonborn monk who leaves their monastery to see the world, ends up with a Morally Dubious Courtesan for a travelling companion, gets cursed (twice), has a slight corruption arc, but somehow still comes out better than they started and with a boyfriend to boot (ft. travelling, fights, the unwillingness to wear a shirt in camp and making that everyone else's problem, other uses for bras when you don't have tits, revenge, What Sharp Teeth You Have, unquestioning kindness until it isn't kind, overthinking but eventually manage to communicate about it, slight pining, one vaguely horny dragon)

Soul of the Party - when a series of mysterious thefts sweep across town in the weeks before the annual summer festivities, Solaris is removed from the duelling tournament to avoid bringing attention to his cousin's family. Instead, he and his cousin and a band of Feral Mages investigate on their own and find a plot targetting one thief from Off-World (ft. four separate magic types, light crime, sword fights, mistaken (secret) identity, curiosity almost killing the cat)

and, you know, the usual. Fair Folk, Superheroes, Pirates, WereCreatures, Winged Folk, Storytellers, Dragons, Vampires, Curses, Even More DnD. All of the WIPS can be found on this page and some of them are in this definitely out of date post here

I'm always up for answering questions about any of them, even if some haven't been touched in literal years. They're still growing mould somewhere in there. Branching out in ways I didn't conceive of.

~~~

World Building

also a big ol' thing here, the main tag is world building but that isn't just my stuff in there, it's also a lot of reblogs

largely centered around the Mist Worlds which is where most of my WIPs are set. There is an Overview post, a Magic post, a bit on the Mist Itself, and also the Worlds (and a page where this is collated)

some bits are incredibly handwavy and made up on the fly, other bits I have been thinking Too Much about for Too Long

~~~

Characters

Oh boy we got 'em. Occasionally can be found via rambles on Sundays (Thursdays, under new management) under the tag So It Ends

Syn and Maverick are competing for blorbo of the year right now and if a wip or specific characters aren't mentioned, these are probably who I'll answer ask games for

Syn - a distractable and mischievous shapeshifter who volunteers to be a spy because "pretending to be someone else is what I do" no we're not going to unpack that right now. they/them, big fan of antlers. also goes by Vale or Lance

Maverick - a frost dragonborn who's a little bit naive to the ways of the world and prefers to assume the best of people if they can. Likes to help, doesn't question as much as they should. Not quite an "everything happens for a reason" mentality, but certainly thinks that they got what they deserved at points. they/them, has been known to act without thinking on a number of occasions

Also a special shout out to Llinos and Kaua, who are eternally the ace lesbian wifeguys of my heart <3

[u-wont-guess-who]

i cried today as well. two days in a row and I cried. Is my life so depressing. agar iss bitch ko hurt feel hua hai ki mai fail hui hoon toh isse kya lagta hai ki mein khushi se naach rhi hoti hoon kya?

matlab faltu mein kuch bhi krne ke liye bolna hai toh eek line nhi 6-7 line mein chilla kr shrill voice mei bolna jaruri hai kya. issliye keh rhi hoon main ki she needs a therapist kyunki she definately needs help and i don't even mean this in an insulting way. She does need help and honestly it would benefit us a lot if she would go to a damn therapist. i swear jab mein badi hongi and if i have children of my own i would never let them feel so lonely that they would turn to books for imagination and friends. my priorities for them would be their health (which obv includes mental health), i want them to have a healthy and a good mindset and then knowledge. i hate her and i am cursing her out so often it's not good for me and not good for her either. when she doesn't know the whole fucking picture why the fuck is she coming to scold me? like no bitch i don't like annoying you and i genuinely don't know how to wake up in the mornings, like i don't know why i can't listen you waking me up. i don't know maybe i'm a heavy sleeper. i don't know anything to cure it. and yes i know i failed physics but did you ever come and talk to me about it? no you just speak in the fucking shrilly tone of yours and tell me that i need tution and how you are going to make me leave coaching. bitch i hate you. you say that i keep things hidden from you. you don't even listen to a fucking word i speak and you totally get the meaning of my words wrong. and you would never try to understand where i'm coming from.you're so narrow minded you would never try and understand me, you try and fail to be understanding so you know what please stop so i can atleast hate you properly

[ssweeterthanfiction]

i’ve been lopping HMHAS so excuse me for these random blurbs/prompts but

skinny (billie eillish) as an opening track is so fucking reader coded, like especially the first couple lyrics fell in love for the first time/ 21 took a life time to me at least. and the am i acting my age now? bc she probably always felt immature when she was with billy due to their gap. and you said i was your secret/ and you didn’t get to keep it… like woah…..

and blue (billie eillish) is so fucking reader and billy coded jesus. like it cuts so deep… and i just think it’s like her being sad/remorseful. it’s sort of a bittersweet thing bc she’s at the point where she knows billy can’t fix his behavior rn, he doesn’t want to … at least in her eyes he doesn’t. but acknowledges he’s a product of his environment and that hurts her too. he was bound to be broken before he rlly ever had a chance. (this song literally inspired this whole blurb istg you gotta listen to it if u haven’t. like once u listen to it, you will completely understand EVERYTHING bc those lyrics are just … yeah)

imagine the band absorbing all this, bc they watched reader come onto the scene and so they naturally watched her artistically mature… and now they’re just listening to these songs they know are abt billy… like. i can see them either being too stunned to speak while others side eyeing him. billy himself gotta take all this in bc it’s just alot, the production that reader did herself to the lyrics? it makes him feel so many things at once; i’d say proud, in awe but also his heart feels like it’s being crushed. - 🫧

OKOK A LOTTT TO UNPACK HERE

SKINNY- YES 100% THIS IS LITERALLY READER.

so not only do the lyrics that you pointed out relate to her bc she feels immature because of their age gap, BUT the lyric “people say i look happy, just because i got skinny, but the old me is the real me and i think she’s pretty” IS SO READER CODED TOO. like it is implied that she constantly is comparing herself to the girls around the band, and it doesn’t help that billy is all “you should be lucky im with you, i could have my pick of whatever girl i want.” so (this will be shown in the fic too) we see reader go from this priscilla presley inspired look/attitude to more of a 70s rockstar girlfriend look/attitude (drug/alcohol addicted).

the band sees this shift in behavior too, and they fucking HATEEE billy for this. like he took one of the sweetest girls and fucking DESTROYED HER. which goes perfectly into blue

BLUE- RHIS JS LITERALLY BILLY AND READER I CANT ANDJDKEKKSNSME

like LIKE ITS LITERALLY THEM THERES NO BETTER WAY TO PUT IT!!!

like the lyrics “don’t hate you, but we can’t save you” IS SO HER TO BILLY. AND THEN “you were born reaching for your mother’s hands, victim of your father’s plans, to rule the world” IS SO BILLY CODED LIKE UGHHHHHHHH

okay so i’m spoiling my own fic but i don’t CARE

when the band listens to the album for the first time, they’re all in the studio late at night, reader dropped the announcement at 12am over a late night talk show and the next morning the record was up on store shelves, but since the band is, the band, teddy gives them the record before it even hits the shelves.

ANYWAYS without giving away TOO MUCH

the band is like high key vibing to tracks like “love is embarrassing”, “bejeweled”, “feather”, “read your mind”, and “out of the woods”

they GLARE at billy when they hear tracks like

“vampire”, “making the bed”, “logical”, “the grudge” obviously “SKINNY” and “BLUE” ESPECIALLY BLUE LIKE I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD JUST BE SILENCE AS THE SONG PLAYS AND THEY WOULD ALL JUST BE GIVING DEATH GLARES TO BILLY

like, they just are all staring at the record while it plays, because not only is the production amazing, HER VOICE IS SO HEALTHY AND AMAZING TOO, and her lyrics, THE LYRICS. like they would all 100% be on the verge of tears because of it.

and then a very specific song plays, and billy can’t quite put his finger on it, but the drums in the back sound like warren’s style…and the bass sounds like eddie’s…and the backing vocals sound like daisy’s…and the guitar sounds like graham’s and the keys sound like karen’s.

then he looks at the credits on the back of the vinyl…

THEN HE REALIZES THAT THE WHOLE BAND FUCKING RECORDED WITH HER.

HE EXPLODES, EDDIE NEARLY GETS IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT WITH HIM, ITS A MESS

anyways, then the deluxe version releases…and reader should’ve name dropped billy at this point BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.

deluxe tracks are “is it over now?”, “say don’t go”, “now that we don’t talk”, “i wish you would”, and “karma” SO YEA.

[finalfrontierpublishing]

2023 in (bookbinding) travel

so i've been procrastinating big time since i got back from the US because i was jetlagged for something like 2 and a half weeks and was going to bed at 9pm, and then promptly caught COVID so i've been a bit MIA from bookbinding for a while. am shaking off the last dregs of it as we speak; am thankfully feeling much better.

i had the privilege of being able to attend comic con in san diego this year, and took great advantage of the fact that the usual transit spot is LA - i promptly hit up the California chapter of Renegade Bindery sometime last year and was like please please can i visit and thankfully they said yes!!!

this was one of two meetups for the US - i had the great privilege of meeting some other cali and non-cali members who were attending comic con - no photos but i did do a surprise book trade with @rhipidurafan of @fantailpress, which brought about the apocalypse great hilarity of the catfish calamity book trade.

guys... there are 11 million works on AO3, of which 70K of them are in MDZS. it should be statistically fucking impossible that we would both decide 'oh hey, this seems like a cool fic to bind as a surprise'. AND YET. AND YET! the gloriousness of the accidental acquisition of the same fic bookbind. WE BOUND THE SAME FUCKING FIC.

i think we laughed ourselves silly for something like 20 minutes straight. the lesson in a two way trade is to make sure there is a third person who knows exactly what the fuck is being bound to prevent things like this from happening in the future.

ALSO RHI'S COPY IS FUCKING GORGEOUS and i have spent many moments stroking it. ITS ROUNDED AND BACKED AND THE ENDBANDS! très magnifique, i can't even.

on coming back from san diego, i had the opportunity to hit up the LA chapter and GODDAMN, i had such a good time screaming about their lovely books and their lovely selves. i was also so kindly gifted pins, engraved and 3D printed tools, crepaldi paper and handmade stickers - THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS - YOU ARE SO AMAZING. some of the members came specially to meet me from hours away and i am so fucking touched, y'all.

the next day i also had the pleasure of being brought around the area where i was staying to have brunch and do a little bookbinder shopping and it was great.

i had such a lovely time meeting each and every one of them, my god. i didn't have the best time at comic con, which was very tiring and transport around LA was challenging as fuck without a car, but getting to meet renegade members was really, really fucking worth it and the best part of my trip, hands down.

again - this probably would never have been possible if i hadn't gone on my first Renegade meet up in March where i met the esteemed @celestial-sphere-press in Japan who brought me to eat excellent ochazuke and to explore the queer nightlife and didn't turn out to be a catfish (EHEHE) so really, i owe it all to des for helping me instill some confidence in my family that i wouldn't be kidnapped and murdered while meeting strangers on the internet.

anyway future travel plans potentially may include ??? GREECE WITH RENEGADE??? i am EXCITED and AM THRILLED AND CANNOT WAIT.