#WHATS CRAZY ABOUT THIS IS I THINK APRIL IS WAY TOO SHY IN BED TO EVER TELL ANN TO STOP TEASING

[misswoozi]

Ann eating April's pussy, but keeping her close to the edge until she asks her to stop teasing.

[saturnznct]

the sims | dad!jake

➸ note; just a summary of the sims :)

➸ word count; 2189 words

➸ warning(s); accidental pregnancy x2, a bit suggestive, birth & feeding, cryptic pregnancy

enhypen masterlist (lnks will be added later)

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you and jake meet when he and jay go to a bar together lol the two of you can’t stop staring at each other and jay, with the help of some liquid courage, convinces jake to go up to you and get your number

so you start hanging out

he’s so shy with you at first because he has such a big crush and you think he’s just adorable

one day he just thinks fuck it and kisses you and the rest is history

you’d been together for seven years and engaged for a few months when you get pregnant

you were usually great with protection but one time you’d run out of condoms and just decided to take the risk

you were terrified to tell him but he was excited, but a bit unsure of what to do

once your little bump and everything shows up he’s obsessed

very touchy, waits on you hand and foot

all the members are super excited, they love sam so another enha baby to love is super exciting

achy is probably the best way to sum up your pregnancy, your back and feet hurt a lot all of the time

when you find out you’re having a girl he gets so giddy

definitely loves a good chat with the bump 

goes all shy and bashful when she responds to him

i don’t imagine him being the type to sing to the baby?? i think he’s much more of a talker 

never ever gets tired of her moving, can literally just picture him at night being the big spoon with his hand on your bump, his chest aches every time she kicks or moves

when she moves around on the scans you can literally see stars in his eyes 

thinks you’re just the cutest when you get big, waddling around in his hoodies 

keeps the latest scan photo in his wallet

your third trimester is in winter so the fireplace in your apartment is on in the evenings

lots of cuddles together

you very rarely feel insecure because jake makes it very clear just how attractive he finds you

it helps that you’re so hormonal that you’re constantly trying to jump his bones and he is… very receptive to that 

the two of you decide to have a home birth, you love your apartment so much and its a place of comfort for you

also there’s no hassle or stress with transporting her home from a hospital or packing a bag etc

your labour is pretty nice, as much as it can be

you were only in labour for about 9 hours, and being at home surrounded by your familiar walls with the lights dimmed down

jake of course was incredibly supportive the whole time 

ella ara sim is born 10th april at your home in seoul

jake delivered her in your bathtub, and cuts the cord

the greatest moment of his entire life 

ella is a very chilled baby

feeds happily, is easily soothed

loves her daddy, jake can get her to stop crying faster than anyone

you slightly worry he holds her too much, he likes to sit by your floor to ceiling windows overlooking seoul and talk to her for hours about life and all the fun things you’ll do together when she’s older

he holds her in the early mornings in bed, on his chest or in his arms while he scrolls through his phone

these moments definitely help your relationship, when you’re both tired and drained you just sit together with or without the baby

even if you don’t talk you just have this sense that you’re in this together and you understand each other without word

Jake loves it when you’re able to pump, he loves being the one to give her bottles 

ella is only the second enha baby after sam and jay is very insistent on regular playdates, he wants them to be besties so bad 

they’re actually quite indifferent to each other lol 

shows her off to everyone who will look

has a little silver ‘e’ necklace 

when she’s about a year old she visits australia for the first time

jake fusses over her like crazy, it’s australian summer so he’s constantly smothering her with suncream and she’s got her lil bucket hat on

holds her in the pool in his family’s backyard, gently lifting her up and dunking her legs in and out of the water while she giggles like crazy

takes her to meet koalas 

he loves her to be girly, thinks she’s just the cutest when she has cute little floral clothes 

her giggles are his favourite sound in the whole world

purposely tickles her so that she giggles

once he tickles her for so long that she starts coughing and you get annoyed with him

doesn’t tickle her for a while after that

actually doesn’t mind playing with her, will happily sink hours into tea parties and roleplay

the BIGGEST daddy girl

her first word is dada

first steps are towards jake 

jake is so fucking happy

later that night he just sobs and thanks you over and over and over for giving him his perfect baby girl 

always wants to be in his arms or on his lap

jake always allows her to climb all over him and will smother her with kisses 

when ella is 2 you guys finally get married, she’s one of your little bridesmaids

jake spends a lot of time dancing with her during the reception

you enjoy married life for a while, and when ella is 3, jake begins to miss her baby days

so, the two of you decide to start trying again

about 8-9 months later you’re pregnant 

jake is so so excited he wants to tell el straight away but you shut him down lmao 

eventually when you do tell her jake is so excited, his eyes are practically sparkling when he tells her she’s going to be a big sister

you’re pretty much bed bound and sick for the first 4-5 months, you throw up a lot

you get a lot of migraines

jake is great as usual

you and jake had talked about kids before having ella and both of you hoped for at least one of each, so when you found it it was a boy you were so happy

jake suggests his name, he just thinks its so cute

declan daehyun sim is born 1st october at your home in seoul, this time on your bed

jake also delivers him and cuts his cord

slightly more challenging baby

cries often for no real reason, no matter what you do he just cries

lots of sleepless nights

ella’s in primary school at this point so lots of daytime naps together

ella actually isn’t too jealous or anything, she comes and sits quietly next to you or jake when you’re holding declan and just watches him

she likes to hold him herself 

dec is literally jake’s twin, your genes did not stand a single fucking chance 

jake’s nose, jake’s eyes, jake’s mouth, jake’s hair 

gets more and more clear as he grows into a toddler, everyone comments on it

i feel like jake is just as much of a boy dad as he is a girl dad like he has two sides

loves playing legos and football with dec

when dec is born you move into your ‘forever home’, a big apartment in seoul

there’s a pool in your apartment complex so you best believe most nights after dinner jake takes the kids down

when declan is around 18 months, you start throwing up and it doesn’t stop for a couple of weeks and you and jake are like… what the hell

you were on birth control that didn’t give you periods so you didn’t think it would be pregnancy but alas…

you go to the doctor and you’re 5 months pregnant and you had no idea

bit of a shock of course

you don’t know how to react at first 

like dec is still so young, your birth control had clearly failed, you only had 4 months to prepare

but there obviously isn’t much you can really do other than just start gearing up for your baby’s arrival

you get a bump and some symptoms soon after you find out

pregnancy starts kicking your ass during the third trimester though, doesn’t help you’re running after declan all day

jake of course is the best like you don’t even need to say anything, if you’re having a hard day he can just tell and will do anything to alleviate your stress

like if declan is being a lil shit and you’re stressed jake will seamlessly distract him with something else

weirdly good at convincing declan he needs a nap 

you decide to keep the gender a surprise because you know this will definitely be your last one and you’ve had enough surprises yk  

eve sim was born at your home 8th september

born on your bed

jake delivers her and cuts the cord

you’re both ecstatic with another girl, she’s the double of ella as a baby

you don’t give her a name until she’s a couple of days old, jake starts calling her evie cause he thinks it sounds cute, you decide on eve cause it works in korean too 

ella loves eve, she’s so excited to have a sister

declan is not so sure

he’s a bit jealous, especially since he’s still a little baby himself

is a little bratty about it too

you’ll sit down to feed eve and he’ll come up to you and start whining and tugging on your pants

cue jake waltzing in to distract him

i don’t think jake would be very strict

he is very much their friend and ally and they know that 

hates punishments and discipline, i mean he’ll dish it out but really struggles to stay strong when they cry or get upset

will apologise for having to do it afterwards

i don’t think he would be a very pushy parent, wouldn’t be too strict about grades or extra curriculars, but will support them in whatever it is 

the kids go to swimming lessons, but jake loves to help them in your pool at home, it reminds him of his childhood in Australia

definitely the type to just launch them in the air much to your horror 

loves it when the kids come to see a concert, just the knowledge that the kids are in the crowd gives him a little extra energy

engene posting on twitter that jake looks so happy

everything is all about the kids backstage, if they’re there then jake and the members are smothering them in attention

if he goes on your without them he always comes back with toys

accidentally starts a tradition of buying a teddy in each place he goes 

when you pick them up from school their plaits and ponytails and what have you obviously fell out hours ago

eve and ruby are a few months apart in age so they are besties of course 

jake would absolutely say the worst part of being a father is the kids growing up, when they get too big for him to hold and cuddle properly is when his heart hurts when he looks at them

he loves babies so much and always always misses the baby days but seeing his kids grow into independent, strong willed, talented individuals makes him so proud

they’re always his baby girls/boy

even when they’re older he will still give them cuddles when they’re sad

the kids go to australia maybe once a year or every other year, visit jake’s family

but you settle in a big apartment in seoul

kids speak a mix of english and korean at home, there’s no real pattern to it

they speak english amongst each other but i think with jake they mix it up

they also use mainly english names at home, you and jake like them more

they use korean and korean names pretty much anywhere outside the house

although ella does get called el by the members and jake pretty much at all times 

overall the sim family is so so so full of love <3

[nerdzzone]

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Again, just a reminder that all the information I have about covid restrictions in Massachusetts is from google, not first hand experience, so if something seems wrong please just go with it.

Part Three

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Part Four

If avoiding difficult conversations was an Olympic sport then it's pretty safe to say that I would have earned myself a gold medal by the end of the following week. It wasn't all that hard to do though as the exhaustion from parenting during a pandemic was hitting us both. Especially because the weather for the first couple of weeks of April was abysmal. It was cold, stormy and raining almost every day and we were all getting quite stir crazy from being inside constantly - especially our lively and spirited child.

So, it was a massive relief when the sun finally came out.

It was also a relief that it lined up with Grayson's third birthday.

He was going to have a very different birthday than previous years - as most people would over the next few months - but we wanted him to have fun and he was quickly tiring of all the indoor activities that we could come up with.

We set the living room up the night before after he'd gone to bed, putting up a birthday banner with several clusters of balloons, and there was quite the mountain of presents in the corner as most of our family members had sent their gifts in advance. I had hoped to wake up before him, but when I woke up to excited cheers and Dodger barking from downstairs, I knew I was too late. A quick glance at my phone told me that it was only six thirty, but clearly the excitement had gotten him up earlier than normal.

"Whoa, Dodger, Grayson, shhhh," I heard Chris warn the pair of them, his voice still raspy from sleep. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

I smiled and quickly climbed out of bed. Chris wouldn't let him open any presents without me, I knew that, but I didn't want to keep him waiting for too long.

When I got downstairs, a very excited Grayson was bouncing on the couch as Chris sat next to him, watching him closely with a smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" I cheered, catching his attention.

He sprang off the couch and bolted towards me.

"Thanks, Mama," He shouted, throwing his arms around my legs and looking up at me. "I'm three!"

"You are!" I smiled as I knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You're such a big boy now."

He let me squeeze him for another moment or two before wiggling free.

"Can I open presents?"

Chris laughed at his clear priorities, shaking his head as I stood up.

"Let's just wait for Uncle Scott," he suggested before glancing up at me. "He's putting the coffee on."

"Very smart," I nodded. "I think we're all going to need plenty of that today."

Grayson proved my point by grabbing at his balloons and waving them frantically, setting Dodger off barking again.

"Dodge!" Chris scolded. "It's just a balloon, buddy. Chill."

The poor overwhelmed dog hung his head and came over to me for some sympathy. I happily obliged, cooing some comforting words and rubbing his back.

"Gray, leave the balloons, okay?" I requested. "I don't think Dodger likes them."

Grayson frowned, but instantly let go of the balloon in his hand.

"Sorry, Dodger."

"It sounds like we have quite the party in here already," Scott commented as he sauntered into the room. "Shall we see what's in some of these boxes?"

"Yes! Yes!" Grayson cheered, running over to the presents. "What first?"

"Whatever you want," I told him, smiling as I went to sit on the couch next to Chris. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I can do it!" He insisted, making a bee line for the biggest box and quickly ripping the paper off.

We watched as he opened gift after gift, an ear to ear grin on his face the whole time. Just as he was at Christmas, he was incredibly grateful for every present from the Paw Patrol Lookout Tower that was almost as tall as he was to the dinosaur books that were more educational than flashy and fun.

But there was one gift at the bottom of the pile that Chris wasn't particularly impressed by. The one that my brother had sent.

Grayson opened it, pulling out a t-shirt first.

"What does it say?" He asked, holding up the shirt towards us.

Chris' jaw dropped as I stifled my giggles and Scott burst out laughing.

"It says 'Team Iron Man'," I read. "Remember how Uncle Rob was in a movie with Daddy where they had a big fight? Iron Man was Uncle Rob's character and I think Uncle Jack wants you to be on that team."

"Oh," Grayson smiled. "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Chris protested. "You don't want to be on my team?"

Grayson shrugged as he pulled something else out of the box from my brother.

"Look!" He shouted, his excitement clear as he held up a very fancy electronic Iron Man helmet. "I love it!"

I wasn't even sure that he knew what it was as he hadn't seen any of the movies yet, but his enthusiasm compared to Chris' displeasure was killing Scott and I.

"Oh, it's such a shame that your brother wasted his money," Chris said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he had a forced look of pity on his face. "Those things are expensive and Grayson is never going to wear it."

"I'll wear it!"

Grayson's insistence was followed by him putting the helmet on his head and another howl of laughter came from Scott as a look of betrayal crossed Chris' face.

"Your brother is a jerk."

His words were quiet so Grayson wouldn't hear and I smiled.

"What can I say?" I shrugged. "We're an Iron Man family..."

Chris shot me a glare, but turned his attention back to Gray.

"Well, if you don't want to be on my team then I guess I'll just have to find someone else to have the last present that I got for you..."

Chris was teasing, but Grayson whipped off the helmet faster than we could blink. He looked around, a puzzled expression on his face when he couldn't see anymore boxes on the floor and I shared his confusion as I wasn't aware of anymore gifts either. But the Evans brothers exchanged a knowing glance and I knew they were up to something.

"Maybe Miles would like it," Scott suggested. "He loves Captain America."

"Me too!" Grayson insisted, tossing the helmet aside as if it hadn't been his new prized possession moments ago. "He's my favourite!"

"Oh, is he now?" Chris laughed. "Doesn't take much to make you change your mind, does it?"

Grayson shook his head, oblivious to the fact that he was being teased, but Chris didn't torture him for too long.

"Alright, do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes, I do!"

Grayson leapt up, bouncing up and down with excitement, making Chris laugh as he stood up from the couch.

"C'mon then," he told Grayson, nodding his head towards the door. "It's this way."

Grayson scurried after his dad and I followed, my own curiosity piqued as well.

"What is it?" I asked Scott, but he just shot me a smirk.

"You'll see in a second."

I narrowed my eyes at his secrets and paused at the front door where Chris was waiting for us, his hand on the door knob as Grayson practically vibrated with excitement.

"Okay, close your eyes," Chris instructed. "No peeking!"

"I won't, I won't!"

Grayson covered his eyes as an extra assurance and Chris' grin widened even more as he swung open the door. I put my hands on Grayson's shoulders and guided him through it, seeing a shiny blue bike with a big bow on the handlebars. I felt a flash of worry at all the potential ways for Grayson to get hurt riding it, but there was no time to dwell on that as Chris told him to open his eyes and he gasped with excitement.

"A bike!" He squealed with joy, leaping off the doorstep and running towards it.

He circled it for a moment as if he was really trying to take it all in while I looked up at Chris.

"There better be a helmet with this present," I warned him. "I'm already imagining broken bones and missing teeth."

"He'll be fine," Chris assured me with a chuckle. "It has training wheels, but of course I got him a helmet."

I opened my mouth, ready to share some more potential disasters that could come from this - because even with training wheels he could still fall off or lose control and crash into a tree - but Grayson cut me off.

"Help me, Daddy! Help me!"

He was trying to climb onto the seat, but as I took in the sight of him barefoot in his pyjamas standing in the driveway, I stopped Chris as he moved towards him.

"Wait, why don't we have breakfast first?" I suggested. "We have all day to play on your bike, but you're not dressed or even wearing shoes..."

Grayson's face fell and I felt bad being the mean parent, but Chris nodded in agreement.

"Your Ma's right, Gray," he told him. "Let's go get ready and then we can come right back outside, okay?"

Grayson looked sulky, but reluctantly agreed as he walked back over to us.

"Hey now," Scott said, catching his attention. "No pouting on your birthday! We've got some chocolate chip pancakes to make! Unless that sad face means you don't want them anymore?"

His previous smile slid instantly back onto his face at the promise of such a sugary breakfast and the pep returned to his step as he grabbed Scott's hand before dragging him into the house.

-

I had no evidence to prove my theory, but by the time breakfast was over, I was almost certain that it would have been more relaxing to be in the middle of a hurricane. There was pancake batter all over the room and we practically had to pin Grayson to his chair to stop him from sprinting around the room with food in his mouth. It was a miracle that he got through the meal without choking.

It was impossible to be mad though when he was having such a good time. He'd had so much to adjust to lately, seeing him happy on his birthday was all that I wanted and I was willing to put up with a little more chaos than normal if it made that happen. Within reason, of course. I did stop him when he suggested that we put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the pancake batter and I did make him help me clean them up when he dumped them on the floor in protest of my ridiculous restrictions.

Once the breakfast circus was over, Chris whisked him off to get him ready to play outside while I helped Scott clean up the kitchen before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

When I came back down almost an hour later, I felt considerably less frazzled, but the sound of excited squeals and giggles echoing from outside told me the energy levels hadn't died down much. It really was a relief that he was having such a nice day though so I braced myself for more chaos and headed out to find them.

The sight that greeted me melted my heart completely.

Chris was running backwards across the driveway as Grayson rode towards him. He shouted encouragement the entire time, reminding him to keep pedaling and to look where he was going and cheering as Grayson rode past him before turning around and circling back.

"Look, Mama!" He shouted to me as he spotted me by the door. "I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby!" I smiled. "Good job!"

I sat on the doorstep and watched him ride in circles, proud of how fast he'd figured it out, but after a few moments, my attention turned to Chris.

There were few times since I'd known him when I'd seen him look as happy as he did in that moment. When Grayson was born, when he took his first steps and when he first said 'Dada' were probably the only comparable moments I could think of. He looked absolutely gleeful as he chased after Grayson, laughing as he passed him before dodging a different way and waiting for Gray to catch up before bolting off again. The sound of their giggles and shouts filled my heart so much that it genuinely felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and a feeling of contentedness hit me so hard that it almost knocked over.

It was a feeling that told me that they were all I ever needed. Those two boys, making each other dizzy as they ran in circles. Their happiness and love was all I could ever hope to have and moments like these were all I ever wanted to see. I wanted us to spend every weekend soaking in this kind of joy. I didn't want to fight and argue and transport Grayson back and forth every other week. I wanted to give Grayson what he deserved, I wanted us to be a family.

But as fast as that clarity hit me, the knots in my stomach were there to remind me that it wasn't just about what I wanted. It wasn't about what would bring us the most moments of delight, it was about what would provide Grayson with the most stability and being a family might do more harm to that goal than good.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my head, but I was starting to realize that my head was losing. I was clinging to my resistance with all I had, but it was slipping away. I knew I needed to talk to Chris, to sort out the fog in my brain, but for the time being, I pushed it out of my mind. This was Grayson's day and we didn't have time for anymore heart-wrenching conversations.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Scott appeared from the side of the house on roller blades and the unexpected sight pulled a laugh from my lips as he sailed past Chris and Grayson and headed down the driveway.

"Gray, follow me!"

Gray nodded, frantically pedaling to catch up with his uncle as they sped off down the long drive. Chris watched them for a minute before jogging over to me.

"He got it so fast," he puffed as he fought to catch his breath. "He's a natural."

"The training wheels help," I pointed out, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him. "But it's fine because he'll be keeping those on until he's at least eighteen."

Chris barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No way," he smirked. "We'll have them off by next week."

"Not a chance. I need at least six months to get used to that idea."

"How about we meet in the middle and aim for three?"

"Hmm, maybe," I bit back a smile. "We'll have to see how many injuries he gets with the training wheels on first."

"He'll be fine. He's a champ," Chris grinned proudly. "We've got a pretty great kid."

"We do," I patted the step next to me as I made room for Chris to sit down. "I can't believe he's already three."

Chris accepted my silent invitation and sat down next to me.

"I know," he sighed. "It feels like just yesterday that he was born..."

"He was so tiny," I reminisced. "And you had those huge Captain America muscles."

Chris laughed as he nodded at the memory.

"I was so scared to hold him in case I accidentally crushed him."

"I was so scared of everything," I admitted. "It wasn't until he was actually born that it really hit me that we were completely responsible for his well-being and keeping him alive."

"We've done well with that though!"

"We have," I agreed with a smile. "He's alive and thriving."

"We make a good team."

He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart beat stutter and it almost stopped completely when he stretched out a hand and placed it on mine. His touch was gentle and the warmth of his skin flooded through me even more than the sun streaming down on us. It was a simple gesture, but it eased the heaviness that had been hovering between us lately and I was grateful. I carefully flipped my hand over so our palms pressed together and let our fingers interlace. His smile widened as he looked back out at the driveway, his eyes settling on Grayson in the distance who was laughing at something Scott said.

"Thank you," Chris sighed, his voice quiet and filled with genuine appreciation. "I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you for making me a dad."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, but I shook my head.

"Chris, you don't need to than-"

"I do," he insisted, cutting me off. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and he wouldn't be here without you."

"I could say the same," I pointed out, trying to ignore the way his thumb was stroking the back of my hand. "He gets most of his good traits from you too. His kind heart, his sensitive little soul, his loyalty."

"His infuriating stubbornness."

"He gets that from both of us," I smiled. "He didn't stand a chance with that one."

"Well, I hope he gets some of your selflessness," Chris informed me, glancing over and looking a tad sheepish. "Because, as much as I disagree with it and I wish you'd be a little selfish, I get that you're trying to look out for him."

I felt my palms start to sweat and I wondered if he could feel it. I resisted the urge to snatch my hand away from his, trying to play it cooler than I felt. He was watching me closely as I mulled over his words until I found the strength to speak.

"I'm not so sure that it's just him that I'm trying to look out for," I admitted, exhaling a breath that I didn't realize I was holding.  "I do think we have more to talk about, Chris, but I don't think this is the right time."

"You're right," he nodded. "I just felt like I owed you an apology after the other night. I let my feelings get the best of me and I came across a little harsh."

I was about to reassure him that he hadn't when the sound of honking interrupted our conversation. Our attention was pulled to the end of the driveway where two cars - belonging to Chris' mom and his sister - were pulling in as Scott moved Grayson and Dodger off to the side to let them past.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked, surprised by the little motorcade.

"Nah, I had no idea," Chris shrugged. "We'll stay outside though, keep our distance."

I wasn't worried about that really, I knew all of Chris' family were staying very isolated and being smart about staying safe and we were technically allowed to have outdoor gatherings of up to ten people anyway with the current rules in place. I was surprised to see them though as we'd warned Grayson that he would only get to see most of his family over FaceTime. His excitement at that being untrue was clear as he frantically pedaled back up the driveway to greet his guests.

"Mama! Daddy! Look!"

I let Chris' hand fall away from mine as we stood, smiling at Grayson's excitement as everyone started getting out of their cars. They burst into a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' making Gray's grin grow even more.

"Happy birthday, Grayson!" Lisa beamed as Grayson ran towards her full speed. He threw his arms around her legs before we could even remind him to keep his distance, but Lisa seemed unbothered by it. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"Yes!" Gray smiled up at her. "I got a bike!"

"I saw that!" Lisa matched his enthusiasm. "You're a lucky boy!"

Grayson shot her another smile before turning his attention to his cousins.

"Wanna try?"

His older cousins were probably too big, but Stella's hand shot up first and beat them to it anyway.

"That's really nice of you to share," I called over to Grayson. "But share your helmet too, okay?"

He nodded and struggled with the clip for a few minutes before Lisa helped him take it off and placed it on her granddaughter's head.

Once they were all happy, chasing Stella and Dodger around the drive way, the adults moved over towards us. Lisa was the first to speak, a guilty look on her face.

"I hope you don't mind us just showing up like this, but we couldn't stay away on his birthday..."

"It's great!" Chris assured her. "Don't worry about it."

"And Grayson seems thrilled," I added. "It's nice for him to have other kids to run around with for a bit."

We all turned to watch them as they played until Carly let out a laugh.

"Are Grayson's shoes on the wrong feet?"

I hadn't even noticed, but I laughed as well when I realized that she was right.

"Some days just getting him in shoes at all is a victory," Chris defended himself. "And today was one of those days."

"He's like the energizer bunny this morning," Scott joked. "I can't imagine what he'll be like after we get some cake into him."

"Just think how well he'll sleep tonight," Carly pointed out. "He has to crash eventually."

"I hope so," Chris smiled. "He had me up at six o'clock this morning, I need an early night."

That earned a laugh from the group as his siblings teased him about being such an old man, but I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he'd been up early with Grayson a lot lately. Maybe it was because we were at his house so it was what Gray was used to, but Chris was definitely the favourite for the early morning wake up call.

We stood in our little circle for a while, just catching up as we watched the kids, all of us enjoying conversation with someone other than the people we were locked up with twenty-four hours a day. It was nice for me to have some female company as well even though Lisa was very pleased to hear that her boys were pulling their weight around the house and not just treating me like some kind of live-in maid.

It didn't take long for the kids to get tired of sharing the bike, especially the older boys who were too big for it anyway, and soon they were swarming around us demanding that we all play a game. After being cooped up for so long, it didn't seem like a bad idea to get us all moving around a little so we agreed and set about the daunting task of finding something everyone was willing to play.

Eventually, we settled on capture the flag - girls against boys. Lisa decided she'd make a better referee than a player so the boys team had one extra member, but they had three children to our one so it hardly seemed like the extra person would cause any unbalance. 

The rules of the game were simple: each team had three flags in our 'end zone' at opposite ends of the large grassy part of Chris' yard and the other team had to try to steal those flags. We had to grab it and run it all the way back to our own end zone to score a point, but once it was safely 'captured' it couldn't be stolen back. If someone managed to snatch a flag, but was tagged on their way back to their end zone then they had to give the flag back.

Lisa was very firm in reminding her children that tackling was not allowed as the Evans siblings were fiercely competitive and it had apparently led to trouble over the years. Once the rules were all set, we took our places and started the game.

The teams were fairly evenly matched. The boys had more strength, but we had more agility and were much better at communicating and working together which led to us easily scoring the first point. While Stella distracted Scott, Carly snuck past him to snatch the flag and she tossed it to Shanna who faked a pass to Stella before throwing it to me to get it to the safe zone. It was a beautifully executed play that showed the boys we weren't messing around.

"Oh, it's on now," Chris called out as he sprinted past me.

Shanna bolted after him, but he managed to grab the flag and throw it to Ethan before she caught up. With all the other boys guarding him, he made it all the way back to their end zone without getting tagged.

"I think having a super soldier on your team is an unfair advantage ," Carly huffed, but Chris shook his head with a smirk.

"Nah, because we have Scott too so it balances out."

"Hey!" Scott protested. "I'll switch teams if you're going to be rude!"

Stella jumped for joy at that idea, pleading with him to come onto our side, but the rest of the boys voiced their protests and he decided that, as long as there was no more hurtful comments, he would stick to his team for now. I used their bickering as a distraction though as I snuck closer towards their unguarded flags. I managed to grab one before Scott noticed and called out a warning to the rest of his team, but when I took off running and Grayson charged towards me, I didn't have the heart to out run him on his special day. I slowed down enough that he wouldn't realize I was letting him win and groaned dramatically as he tagged me, making me give up the flag.

"I did it!" He cheered. "Daddy! Did you see? I did it!"

Stella had a disappointed scowl on her face, but everyone else was understanding as they watched Chris scoop him up onto his shoulders, chanting his name as if he'd just won the World Cup while he carried him back to replace the flag.

Their celebration was short-lived though as we managed to steal the flag again almost as soon as Chris and Grayson were far enough away from it. After another perfectly executed play, the score was sitting at 2-1 for us. The pressure was on after that as we only needed one more point to win, it ramped up the competitive spirit.

We were off to a great start in the next round. Shanna got the flag quickly, but Scott had her cornered almost immediately so she tossed it to me. I got about ten steps before Chris was on my heels and I was forced to throw it over to Carly. Chris turned and went to chase after her instead and without even thinking, I leapt on his back to stop him.

"Hey!" He protested, slowing to a stop despite how he was clearly unaffected by my weight. "Is anyone seeing this? This has got to be a foul! She tackled me!"

"I did not tackle you!" I insisted, clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist. "If it was a tackle, you'd be on the ground."

Chris wiggled around, trying to throw me off his back as Carly sauntered into our end zone with the flag.

"The only reason I'm not on the ground is because you're too weak," Chris argued before shouting to his mom. "That doesn't count!

"No, Mama," Grayson joined in, running over to us looking very disapproving. "No cheating!"

I laughed, but slid down from Chris' back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I held my hands up as I apologized. "I can't outrun Captain America, I had no choice!"

"Well, now you lost the point," Chris teased me, shoving me playfully and making me stumble a step away from him. "So, lets keep it fair and stop trying to cheat."

I swatted back at him as I stuck out my tongue while Lisa made the official call that the point didn't count and Scott took the recently captured flag back to the boy's end zone.

Chris had a new twinkle in his eye as the next round started. He hadn't let me get very far away from him and I quickly realized that I'd made a mistake by antagonizing him. I would be useless to my team if he was on my tail the whole time, but he was a tank and incredibly fast so getting away from him was next to impossible. I watched helplessly as Scott and Miles easily took our flag and dashed it back to their end zone to tie the score.

"Chris!" I whined as I tried to get around him like I was a cornered puppy, trying not to get caught. "Get away from me, you big oaf!"

"Oh, wow," Chris chuckled. "Let's not start calling names and being mean."

I tried to dart past him again, but groaned as he blocked my path.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's all part of the game."

The smirk on Chris' face had my competitive side firing up as I could see behind him that Miles had snatched our last flag. Stella was hot on his heels though, so he had no choice, but to pass to Grayson who was coming our way. Was I going to stop my three year old son from scoring the game winning point on his birthday? Probably not. But I had to at least make my attempt genuine so I came up with a plan.

"Is that..." I squinted off into the distance on the other side of the yard. "Is that Dodger chasing a cat?"

My Oscar worthy performance had Chris spinning around to check out what I saw and it gave me enough time to bolt away towards Grayson who wasn't far away from winning the game for his team. I made it an impressive five steps before Chris figured out what I'd done and came after me. Grayson saw what was happening and dodged to the left so I followed, but my change of direction gave Chris an opportunity. The next thing I knew, I felt a crash against my hips before I was lifted from the ground and found myself dangling over Chris' shoulder.

I let out a squeal of surprise as I kicked my legs, trying to get down, but Chris had a tight grip on me and there was no getting away. The ease with which he threw me around wasn't at all distracting and there wasn't a single part of me that was revelling in his strength. Not at all.

"This is absolutely a tackle!" I protested, focusing my mind back onto my predicament. "Put me down!"

"If this was a tackle, you'd be on the ground," he mocked me. "This is payback."

I had a nice view, my head only inches above 'America's ass' so, swept up in the moment of playfulness between us, I reached down and gave it a smack. He yelped and jumped, shaking me as he did.

"Chris! Put me down!"

My demands were weakened by the giggles that I couldn't hold back, but thankfully Scott stepped in to help me regain some dignity.

"Alright, you two," he called over. "Can we get back to the game now or would you like us all to give you some time alone?"

A blush covered my cheeks as I remembered that his entire family was around us and was relieved when he lowered me to the ground.

"Games over," Chris called back. "Grayson scored!"

Grayson jumped up and down happily, but Stella had a scowl on her face.

"Nuh uh! When Whitney tackled you, it didn't count!" She pointed out. "Grayson's point doesn't count too!"

The joy on Grayson's face fell into a look of anger as he stomped his foot at his cousin’s claim.

"It does!" He insisted. "I did it!"

"Now look what you've done," I playfully scolded Chris quietly before shouting to the rest of the group. "I think we're going to have to let them have the point, ladies. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to Grayson even if Chris didn't cheat..."

Stella's jaw dropped in clear shock that I hadn't supported her protests, but to stop the war before it could start, Chris chimed in.

"Grayson didn't need my help to score that point, I shouldn't have interfered," he started. "But why don't we call it a game and go have some cake?!"

The promise of sugar seemed to quash any animosity between the teams as all the kids let out a shriek of approval at that suggestion and took off running back to the house.

"Oh, yes," Carly sighed. "Because what my children clearly need right now is more energy..."

"It's Gray's birthday," Chris shrugged with a smile as we all followed the children at a much more reasonable pace. "We have to have cake!"

"And if it wasn't his birthday then I wouldn't have let you win."

My taunting earned a bark of laughter from Chris.

"Let us win? Yeah, sure, okay. You just keep telling yourself that you're faster and stronger than me," he teased. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I shoved him, but he was braced for it and I ended up more affected by the impact than him which proved his point, putting a smirk on his face.

"Asshole," I muttered as I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back a smile at how nice our affectionate teasing felt.

-

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted. It had been a fun and very special day for Grayson so we were thrilled for him, but exhausted nonetheless. Gray fought his bedtime with all the will power he had, eager for the day to go on just a little bit longer, but we won out in the end and he made it to bed on time. Scott had gone to his own room while we were fighting with him and Chris and I parted ways shortly after to get some much needed quiet time of our own.

I found myself distracted though, when I was finally alone, as the importance of the day had me feeling sentimental. Watching Grayson grow up and hit these milestones was a joy, but it left me feeling a bit reminiscent of the years gone by. Years when he was even smaller than he was now, just starting to figure out the world and how to speak, walk and be a part of it. The time was really flying by and as I began to scroll through old videos of his first year of life, the nostalgia was almost too much to bear.

Eventually, I stumbled on a video that had distinct parallels of today.

It was a video of Grayson's first birthday when we'd given him his own little cake and let him go to town on it. Of course, as many babies do, he'd stared at it for a moment before smashing his face directly into it. It was adorable and tugged on my heart strings considering how comparatively neat his cake consumption was earlier that day. He'd grown so much in such a short time and I felt compelled to share my discovery with Chris so I dragged myself out of bed and crept down to his room.

There was a fluttering of nerves in my stomach as I knocked on his bedroom door, the feeling only growing as he called out an invitation to come inside. I did as he'd asked and let myself in, finding him leaning back against the headboard of his bed - wearing nothing but his pajama pants - with his own phone in his hand.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"I found a video," I told him, standing awkwardly near the foot of his bed. "I was feeling a little sad about how fast Gray is growing up so I was looking back, watching old videos and I found one that I thought you might like to see."

Chris’ smile widened and he eagerly patted the bed next to him, encouraging me to sit. I took him up on his offer and settled in as I unlocked my phone and started the video.

"He was so little..."

Chris' observation came as the camera settled on Gray where he sat in his high chair. Chris was right next to him, a grin on his face as he chatted happily to our son despite the nonsense babble that he got in response. I appeared on the screen after a few moments, carrying a tiny cake as everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. Grayson had a look of confusion on his face as he looked around at the crowd, but his eyes widened when the cake was placed in front of him.

"Go on, Gray," I prompted once the singing had stopped. "You can taste it."

He needed no more encouragement and simply face planted right into it, popping up a moment later with blue icing from the tops of his eyebrows to the bottom of his chin. He had a huge, cheeky grin on his face as he looked at us and, just as he did in the video, Chris laughed next to me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, doesn't it?" He questioned before clarifying. "How cute he is."

I hadn't realized that Chris' arm had found its way behind me when he leaned in to watch until I felt his breath on my hair as he spoke and I couldn't resist leaning back, tucking myself under his shoulder. The whole day, the knowledge that my baby was growing up, had me needing some comfort. It was exciting, to see him learn and shift from a baby to a little person, but at the same time, I felt the overwhelming urge for time to stop.

"It does," I agreed, letting my phone fall to the bed beside me. "I can't believe how much he's changed since then."

"In some ways," Chris agreed, looking down at me with a smirk. "In others, he's still that goofy, reckless baby."

"If he's anything like you, he'll probably never grow out of being goofy and reckless."

I felt Chris' shoulders shake as he chuckled at my teasing and I was reminded of the last time we'd been cuddled up, in a similar position to this, in his bed. I felt a flood of warmth run through my body at the memory as I was suddenly aware of how close we were, aware of how good he smelt and how strong his hard muscled arm felt as I leaned against it.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," I assured him. "I like that you're goofy. Your recklessness used to give me anxiety sometimes, when you'd always insist that you just had to do your own stunts on Captain America as if you really thought you were a super soldier, but I like that you're willing to take risks."

"Awe, gee, Whitney," he teased, squeezing me closer against him. "It was nice of you to worry about me."

"Of course I worried," I rolled my eyes. "Your muscles are bigger than your brain sometimes."

"Not anymore..." Chris held up the arm that wasn't currently around me and flexed his muscles, showing off a bicep that was still much larger than most even if it wasn't quite up to the Avengers standard. "I'm out of shape."

Against my own best interest, I turned slightly, letting my hand drift up towards his arm as my head fell against his chest. I traced over the bulging muscle and watched as tiny goosebumps rose up on his skin at the sensation. Skin that felt so soft under my touch and I felt his breath shift as he clearly felt the mood between us change the same way that I did. I felt emboldened by how amorous our emotional day had left me as I let my head tip back to find him looking down at me with the same intensity he had a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help myself. Despite every alarm bell going off inside my brain, I stretched up just enough to press my lips against his. For a moment, he relaxed. His shoulders dropped as my fingers curled around the arm they were just stroking, but then suddenly his entire body tensed as if he'd been shocked by a bolt of electricity. He jerked away, sliding out from under me and off the bed before I could even realize what was happening.

"No," he said firmly, pointing his finger at me the same way he did to Dodger when he was being naughty. "No, no, we're not doing this again. Not until we talk about it what's going on here."

I felt the sting of rejection so harshly that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out, my cheeks burning. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."

My voice was shaking as I scrambled to stand up, the stunned look on Chris' face only adding to my embarrassment. We stood there, staring at each other with the bed between us, but he didn't speak and after a few moments of silence, my shame was overwhelming, kicking my flight instincts into gear.

"I'll go," I mumbled. "Sorry again."

I didn't wait for a response before darting towards the door, but Chris' voice stopped me before I could make my escape.

"Whitney, stop." He didn't shout, but his tone was firm and demanding enough that I froze on the spot. "We need to talk about this. We can't keep going on with it hanging above our heads."

I turned to face him, discovering that he'd moved closer and was standing by the foot of the bed. He was still a few feet away from me, but close enough that it felt almost suffocating and I bit my lip as I stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I can take it," he insisted, a hint of resignation in voice as he continued. "You've had plenty of time to think it over since our last conversation and you said earlier today that we needed to talk. If you're gonna turn me down, put whatever this is to bed, just do it now and get it over with."

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words, my heart beating in my chest so fast that I could hear the blood pumping through my ears.

"Turn you down?" I questioned. "Why do you think I'm going to turn you down? I just kissed you."

"That didn't mean much at Christmas."

He had a very valid point and I felt another pang of guilt at how badly I was treating him. I was hot and cold, affectionate and withdrawn, unwavering in my decision one minute and unsteady the next. I hadn't spared much thought to how cruel that was and now that I'd realized, I couldn't hold back the frustrated groan that fell from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, Chris! I think I know what the right decision is. It's what always felt like the safer choice, but then there are times when that's just..." I paused, taking in a deep breath to work up a dash of courage. "It's not what I want."

Chris watched me closely as if choosing his next words very carefully.

"If the safer choice isn't what you want then it sounds like maybe you need to take a risk. You can't live your life making decisions out of fear."

My eyes narrowed. He was over simplifying the situation. That way of thinking might work if it was just the two of us, but with Gray in the middle, things were more complicated.

"It's not that straight forward."

I shook my head as I spoke, but Chris countered with a nod.

"Sure, it is," he shrugged before asking a question that almost stopped my heart. "Do you love me?"

I stared at him, opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again when the words didn't come. I stood there, gaping at him like some kind of ridiculous puffer fish, until I finally got a word out.

"What?"

A smirk slid onto Chris' face at my floundering as he repeated the question.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "And don't say it doesn't matter or it's not important. Just yes or no."

I stared at him for a moment longer as a war between my head and heart raged inside me. Deny, deny, deny was what my head was screaming, but in the end the quiet reminder of now or never from my heart was what won out.

"Yes, I do," I admitted, proud of my voice for not breaking. "I always have."

There was a grin on Chris' face now, but my stomach churned because it didn't mean anything. As I said, I'd loved him all along and yet here we were, no better off.

"That's all that matters then," he insisted. "We can figure out the rest."

"But what if we can't figure it out?" I protested, crossing my arms as if I could somehow fold into myself and disappear completely. "What if it's nice for a while and then it all comes crashing down around us? What about Gray?"

He shrugged again. His whole demeanour miles away from my own. He seemed confident, hopeful, almost excited while I felt nauseous, terrified and paralyzed by fear.

"But what if it doesn't? What if it all works out nicely? Why are you so convinced that we wouldn't last?"

"Because you're you," I reminded him, my tone flat as I stated the obvious. "Hollywood super star, Chris Evans. And I'm me, a boring nobody. You could have pretty much any famous actress you want, the only person who wants to be with me is the creepy maintenance worker in our apartment building."

Chris looked taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I've never heard about this guy."

"He's just some weird guy who does the repairs," I shrugged. "He comments on my outfits and looks at me in this way that makes my skin crawl, but he's harmless."

"Doesn't sound harmless to me," Chris argued, crossing his arms as a thunderous look settled on his face. "Does he have access to your place?"

"No!" I assured him, but after my quick answer I realized that I wasn't so sure. "Well, I don't know. He might have a spare key, I guess. If most maintenance people do? They have to give me notice before they enter the apartment anyway."

"Unless he's sneaking in to perv on you."

"Chris! That's gross!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you put that thought in my head?!"

"I told you that you should have let me buy you a house," Chris huffed. "You're moving when all this covid shit is over."

"Oh my god," I groaned having flashbacks to our conversation a few weeks ago about him buying me a car. "All of this is so beside the point! We're talking about how you'd get bored of me and leave me heartbroken for some flashy Hollywood babe, remember?"

"Right," Chris nodded, letting his arms fall to his side. "But that's such a ridiculous idea that I thought it was hardly worth acknowledging."

His dismissal of one of my biggest fears sent a flash of anger through me.

"How is it ridiculous?" I snapped. "It's true!"

"You know me, Whitney," Chris sighed. "You know that my team had to practically force me into doing Captain America because I had one foot out the door of the whole acting gig and I hated the way Hollywood made me feel. Do you really think that I would give up a chance at a having family with you, someone who I really care about, for some wild, short-lived fling?"

His tone conveyed his disbelief, but he hadn't quite accurately interpreted what I meant.

"I think you'd regret it," I clarified. "I think that once the initial excitement wore off, you'd see that I'm nothing special and that I don't fit in your world."

Chris was looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head and I crossed my arms a little tighter around myself.

"We were friends long before Grayson came around and I've always thought that you were something special. Where is all this insecurity coming from, Whitney? Because I just don't get it."

I swallowed hard as I bit my lip. I felt incredibly vulnerable and the urge to run away and continue ignoring all my feelings seemed much preferable to standing here and analyzing them all, but I stayed strong. We were both adults and this was the only way to move forward. Whether it ended how Chris wanted or not, he deserved to know how I felt.

"I spent a long time convincing myself that you didn't care about me as anything more than a friend. I told myself that it was an insane idea because we're in two very different leagues so there was no point getting my hopes up. Then that night happened and I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, that it could be the start of a really good thing, but then you were gone by the time I woke up and you never called."

I barely choked out the last few words as I fought back the tears that were swimming in my eyes. An unmistakable look of guilt flashed onto Chris' face and he opened his mouth to comment, perhaps to defend himself, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to get it out or I never would.

"Then three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," I continued. "I assumed from your silence that you didn't want to be with me and I knew that we were good together as friends so I kept my feelings to myself and spent the last three and a half years beating myself up for thinking for even one second that you would want to be with me."

"I did want to be with you..."

Chris was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that he'd mastered and I sniffled as a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know that now, but I can't just turn those thoughts off."

Chris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before holding out his arms.

"C'mere."

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I worried that I'd fall apart completely if I stepped into his arms, but when he persisted and gestured me over again, I couldn't resist. I took the few steps needed to close the space between us and let my arms slide around his waist. He hugged me close to his body, burying his face in my hair as pressed mine into his muscled chest. We stayed like that for a few moments until Chris broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot," he apologized, his words muffled by my hair. "I should have fought for you. At the very least, I should have stayed until you woke up and I should have called, but I was scared too."

I felt more tears fill my eyes as I choked out a soft "I know".

Another silence fell between us before Chris spoke again, his words making my heart almost stop completely.

"I was going to propose." I pulled back at that confession, my eyes wide as I looked up at him unable to process his words fast enough to speak before he continued. "I called my mom up as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her to help me pick out a ring, but she talked me out of it. Said you'd think I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

My heart fluttered back to life at the sincerity in his admission, but I nodded my head.

"Your mom is a smart lady," I told him. "I absolutely would have thought you were only doing it because you felt you had to."

"It wasn't out of obligation though," he insisted. "Maybe I was getting a bit ahead of myself leaping straight to marriage, but I cared about you. It was an opportunity to make it official, make that commitment and be a family. That's what I wanted."

I stayed quiet, resting my head back against his chest as I tried to take in all this new information. It was a lot to process especially when it directly contradicted the belief I had clung to for so long - that Chris and I would never work and for Grayson's sake we were better off apart. That assumption was so deeply embedded in my brain that it was hard to find the courage to take such a risk.

As if Chris could sense my lingering indecision, he continued.

"It's still what I want," he said softly. "Being here these last few weeks with you and Grayson as a family has been a dream come true. I wouldn't give it up for anything or do anything to jeopardize it if you'd just give me a shot."

The word 'okay' was so close to the tip of my tongue that it shocked me.

That was all I had to do, just open my mouth and agree and he would be mine.

My heart was pleading with me to do it, to take that leap and ignore any of the arguments against it that were running through my mind - especially now that those arguments seemed much less sound than they had a few short weeks ago. I was so conflicted that it almost physically pained me to have to make a decision and I couldn't help, but wonder how he could be so certain.

So, I leaned back and tilted my head so my eyes could meet his.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned. "After how things have been these last few years, how can you be so confident in your feelings?"

"Because I love you," he told me plainly and with unwavering surety. "If you tell me right now that it's not what you want, then I'll accept your decision. But if there's a hint of a chance, then I'll wait as long as I need to. I've been waiting for years, thinking that I didn't even have a shot, I think I can wait a little longer now that I know that I might."

It was another heart wrenchingly honest explanation, another vulnerable admission, and something in the openness with which he spoke made me realize that over the last three years he had done nothing to earn any distrust from me. Even after the fallout from Christmas, he'd put his hurt feelings and pride aside to make things easier for me. He'd been sincere during every discussion we'd had since then and hadn't been cruel or impatient about my indecision. I had no reason at all, other than my own fear and insecurities, to assume that he was going to break my heart and tear apart our family.

He deserved a little bit of trust from me as well and a clarity washed over me as I finally knew what I had to do.

There were words I could have said, probably should have said, but I didn't feel like there was anything that would accurately portray how I was feeling. I settled for a more direct approach as I pressed up onto my toes and let my lips fall against his.

He tensed at first and for a brief, heart stopping moment, I thought he might push me away again, but he didn't. He relaxed, pulling me closer as my hands slid to cup his neck.

It was a soft kiss. A gentle, loving kiss, that I hoped conveyed what I couldn't figure out how to say. But when our lips parted and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine, there was a concern in his eyes that told me I wasn't going to get away with it that easily.

"What does that mean?"

I bit my lip, staring up past his long eyelashes into his eyes. There was still a tiny voice in my head telling me to run, to stop being so foolish and leave now before I made a mistake, but my heart had found its footing now and wasn't going to back down. Listening to my head all this time hadn't made things any easier, so it was time to try something else.

"It means," I started, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't want to keep you waiting anymore."

Chris let out a breath of relief as a tentative smile slid onto his face.

"Really? You're sure?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

"Yes," I breathed out, my voice thick with all the emotions swirling through me.

He dipped his head a touch lower until our lips were reconnected. It was a deeper kiss, more desperate than the first as his tongue slid against mine and his grip tightened on my waist, my nails scraping against the fuzz of his recently cut hair. I caved into him, clinging to him like he was a lifeboat in a storm until he pulled back to take a breath.

My chest heaved against his, the adrenaline of his touch and what this finally meant, almost too much to handle. I settled back down, flat on my feet and nuzzled my face back into his chest as I fought to calm my racing mind and just enjoy the moment.

"You really mean it?" Chris asked again, the shakiness of his voice filling me with another pang of guilt. "You really want to give this a try?"

"I mean it," I nodded against him. "Doesn't mean my concerns have all vanished in the last five minutes, but I...I think I need to trust you."

"I won't let you down," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me even closer. Another silence fell between us until I broke it with an embarrassingly large yawn and Chris' chest shook as he chuckled. "Do you wanna sleep down here tonight?"

As soon as he'd asked the question, it suddenly hit me how exhausted I was. Even just the thought of walking upstairs seemed like an impossible task when there was such an inviting, comfortable bed only steps away from where I stood. But a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore and I turned my head slightly so I wasn't speaking directly into Chris' muscles.

"What about Gray?" I asked. "He always comes to you in the morning..."

"Would it matter?"

His tone wasn't accusing or annoyed, but genuinely curious as sharing a child did add a strange new element to all this. I didn't really know what the best way to handle it was since Grayson didn't really understand our relationship or know how a typical family was set up anyway, but it didn't seem like the best way to introduce him to the idea.

"I think we should talk to him about it instead of just letting him stumble on us in bed together," I suggested. "But I think maybe we should wait a while?"

Chris' face fell as the look of worry returned.

"You want to keep this a secret?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I shook my head. "You can tell whoever you want, but I think we should figure things out, make sure things are stable between us before we try to explain it to Gray."

"Alright, that's fair," Chris agreed before leaning down to place another soft kiss on my lips. "I'll wake you up before he comes down."

"Okay," I nodded as I let my thumb stroke his cheek.

We reluctantly slipped out of each other's arms, but it was a brief separation as we climbed into opposite sides of the bed. Once we'd turned the lights off, we met in the middle and he pulled me back against his chest, letting me hook my leg over his hip as we settled against each other.

Chris ran a hand up and down my spine as he nuzzled in my hair.

"This feels nice..."

"It does," I hummed. With the darkness around us, the quiet that had settled in, I felt encouraged to say something that I'd felt I should have said long ago. "I'm sorry, Chris."

I felt him tense.

"For what?"

"For messing you around so much," I admitted. "Especially at Christmas...that wasn't cool."

"If I had expectations, I should have laid them out before anything happened." His answer sounded rehearsed, as if he'd spent a long time convincing himself of that fact. I wasn't entirely sure it was a fair statement, but he continued before I could question it. "I can understand where you were coming from, but I promise I won't hurt you."

I felt a pang of uncertainty because that wasn't always a promise that could be kept, but the sincerity in his voice gave me hope. I placed a soft kiss against his chest as his hands slid up under the loose shorts I was wearing to cup my bum.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin.

"I love you too," he replied, making a feeling of warmth flood through me. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I sighed happily as my exhaustion had my eyes fluttering shut. I wanted to stay awake, to keep this moment before the brightness of the morning could bring any doubts or second guesses, but I was powerless to resist as sleep overtook me.

-

Part Five

Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And… it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 

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[otomehoes]

S/O who can fence — Leonardo, Comte, Napoleon, Arthur and Jean

pairings: reader x comte, leonardo x reader, napoleon x reader, arthur x reader and jean x reader

warnings: use of weapons, mentions of nsfw [napoleon’s part], mentions of violence [jean],

A/N: rn I feel ✨blessed✨ with this request ahdhdh, also I had to study a little bit about fence things and movements

❥ Leonardo Da Vinci

actually he didn’t know that you fences until he saw you one day sneaking out to the practice room where napoleon and jean used to fence

his curiosity is bout to kill him so he follows you to see what you are up to

but when he sees you with napoleon fencing so fiercely but at the same time so elegantly

oh god he can’t stop staring at you

when you notice him you can’t help but feel shy

HES BOMBARDING YOU WITH QUESTIONS

also proud really really proud

you always liked april because of its fresh days. also because you could go to fence without getting worried about the weather. it was a secret that you wanted to keep for yourself. not because you felt embarrassed or anything, but fencing was something that always made you feel confident, it was only you and your fast movements towards your opponent .

however that day it was different. you didn’t know that your beautiful and curious boyfriend leonardo was following you. it was normal for you to disappear a few hours once a week. he was walking when he saw you running towards the practice room where sometimes napoleon or jean went to practice fencing. with light steps Leonardo followed you like a shadow.

his eyes went wide when he saw you. napoleon was fencing with someone, he couldn’t see who it was, until he saw through the fencing mask a long and silky (h/c) hair. and then he knew who was napoleon opponent. but what took his breathing was how fast and how elegant was your movements, the way you moved and how you thrusted your attacks toward the former french emperor threatening and pushing him towards the edge, made him so proud that he couldn’t keep hiding anymore and revealing himself to the both of you.

you saw a shadow moving behind you, you took a glance to see who it was, surprised you saw how leonardo was standing at the door looking at you with sparking eyes. you regretted your actions when you saw the tip of his foil pointing at you. with a sigh you dropped your fencing weapon, showing your defeat.

you heard a few steps coming from behind, turning you saw leonardo smiling at you “cara mia, you should have told me you knew fencing, next time I’ll be more careful to not make you mad” he said while you punched slightly at his arm trying to cover the hard blush you had. leonardo only knew that his beautiful girlfriend was a really interesting woman who always managed to surprise him even more.

❥ Comte de Saint-Germain

he knew it

but he respected your privacy

he didn’t told you, but the reason that he made the fencing room more big and with new equipmentit was because of you

sometimes he went to see you, but secretly

when you told him he did as he never knew

pikachu meme face

his respect for you will only grew to a 5000%

“mademoiselle you’re really amazing, it the first time that I find someone who can keep up with me” jean’s eyes were full of admiration while he praised you. with a blush you thanked him, at first it was hard to convince jean to practice some fencing with you, he thought that he would end up hurting you, but you assured him that you would be alright.

what the both of you didn’t know was how a pair of caramel eyes observed all your movements. with a smile comte turned back to his office knowing that in a few minutes you’ll be there with him. his heart was beating so fast that he couldn’t even think properly, your elegants moves, the way you dodged all the attacks that jean sent to you was something breathtaking. his love for you only grew more and more. he knew he did right falling in love with you, not only your heart was strong but your body too, and the fierce way you attacked jean proved how much he admired his beautiful girlfriend.

running towards comte’s room you arrived at the entrance of the door. you didn’t see how much time passed since you started to practice with jean. your fencing skills was a secret that you wanted to keep to yourself, and the only person who knew about that was jean and napoleon, the first one whom you often staying long hours practicing.

carefully you knocked his door to proceed with opening it , you saw comte looking at some papers with a frown, probably more letter from leonardo’s family. sometimes you felt bad for the renaissance man and for comte too, who had to write or burn another pile of letters.

“Abel, you should take a break, come here with me” you said while walking towards the sofa. his eyes meet yours and with a smile he went towards you sitting next to you with an elegance that could steal anyone’s breathe.

“also... sorry for being so late” you said looking at him, his eyes inspected yours, looking for an explanation. “well, I’ve been wanting to tell you this from a long time ago, but I never found the right moment” taking a deep breath you prepared yourself “once or twice a week I go with jean or napoleon to practice some fencing, nothing too dangerous”

“and did you had fun today?” he asked you, you looked at him surprised, you didn’t expect him to be this calm, and then you saw it, it was just a second, but that tiny and momentary spark in his eyes told you everything “you knew it don’t you?” you asked him, a smile appeared on his lips “yes, but you know what chérie? knowing that you can defend yourself so fiercely only makes me fall more and more in love with you”

“s-shut up d-don’t be dumb” you told him while trying to evade his intense gaze, your ears burning like fire. it didn’t matter how but he always made you feel so amazing, and that was one between of the uncountable reasons that you loved him.

❥ Napoleon Bonaparte

he’s proud of his nunuche

it’s something normal to see the two of you fencing til death

won’t admit it but he sometimes goes easy on you

that’s until you start teasing him

so yeah most of your sparring seasons ends up with the both of you lying on the floor trying to breathe properly

it was common to meet up with napoleon wednesdays and fridays at the sparring room. “if you want to evade more faster the attacks flex your knees a little bit more, it’ll be more easy to move too” while his face had a serious facade, his eyes were soft. napoleon loved this. spending time with the person he loved only made his heart to beat so fast that he sometimes wondered if he would die right there.

following your boyfriend’s advice you flexed a little more your legs, a felling of comfort appearing on your body. he really knows even when it’s not his own body. A mischievous grin appeared on your face, the odds for your idea to success were low, but it was worth trying it.

“let’s make a bet” your voice echoed the room, napoleon looked at you curious before adding “tell me”.

“if I lose this round, I’ll be at your mercy the whole night, any wish will be fulfilled by me” you smiled and winked at him before continuing “but if win, you will be at my mercy, I can request anything, what do you think? deal or not deal”

and now there you were, both of you lying on the ground, trying to catch your breathing and laughing at the same time, you looked at napoleon, he seemed to relaxed, so free, sometimes you cursed at yourself for not having a camera to take a photo. the view was worthy, really worthy. his eyes met yours, a smile appearing on his beautiful lips “let’s say that we’re both the winners” he said while getting up while offering his hand to you to do the same thing.

moments like this were really worthy.

❥ Arthur Conan Doyle

he discovered in the worst situation ever

it was past midnight when the Arthur decided to pay a visit to you

nah he was just horny

entering at you room without making any sound who could startle you he tried to went towards your bed when the tip which seemed from a sword was pointing in the middle of his face

he was ���shocked✨

and screamed

actually his soul almost left his body

when you saw it was him you started to apologize like a crazy

he totally forgot why he went to your room

he made a mental note to not storm like that at your bedroom anymore

you were supposed to be sleeping, but for any reason your body didn’t want to. but something told you that probably it was because of dazai’s yōkai story. with a sigh you closed the windows and started to prepare yourself to go to bed. that was until you heard a tiny but almost inaudible footsteps at the corridor. each step seemed to be more and more closer to your door.

the probably that someone could be up at this hour was almost impossible, you thought about arthur, but he told you that he probably would go to bed earlier because he had some business to attend at the town tomorrow.

in times like that you felt grateful for the infernal fencing classes that your parents told you to attend when you were younger. with careful steps, you stood behind the door, with your foile in hand. and then the door opened, with fast reflexes you pointed at the ghost- wait, at the person, you heard a scream which made you scream too, turning the lights on you saw arthur with a surprise face almost terrified.

“OH– ARTHUR IM SO SORRY” you screamed throwing the foile and taking with both of your hands you boyfriends handsome face “oh god oh god, I really thought you were a ghost or something, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

taking a big breath arthur looked at you, now more composed and calm “tell me, did you want something” you talked taking his hand with yours, he looked at you, and then at the door “I- I don’t remember”

❥ Jean D’Arc

he didn’t expect it at all

he didn’t have words

just like Arthur he found out in the worst situation

it was one of your late night walkings when a group of three men approached to the both of you

feeling the danger jean wrapped an arm around you his jaw tensed and his hand on the tip of his sword

he saw that the other man had one too

he told you to hide

after the incident sometimes asks you to fence with him sometimes

it’s just an excuse to spend time with you

“jean I think that they’re following us” you told your boyfriend, his grip on your shoulder tensed up, his beautiful purple eyes were darker, jaw clenched “mademoiselle when I give you the sign you run, okay?”

you looked at jean and then the three man, something caught your eye. the man on the left had a sword, a big one. you knew that that classes that fencing classes would be worthy in the future. you looked at jean who was prepared to defend you from that group of men. but who would protect him, without thinking further and with a fast movement you took the man’s sword elegantly pointing at him death in the eye.

there weren’t three surprised faces but four, jean’s face got totally decomposed, surprise written on his face. he never, not in a million of years would ever imagine you being able to handle a sword with that determination “jean I appreciate your concern about my well-being but if you protect me, who will protect you?”

and with that words the soldier was preparing a whole wedding inside his head. you made him see all the good thing in the world, and he swore for his life that he would protect that perception of the world for you. but for the first time, in many years he let his pride and stubbornness apart, he promised to himself that he would never let you go. not you, not his warrior angel.

— yōkai or 妖怪 are a class of supernatural monsters and spirits in Japanese folklore. The word 'yōkai' is made up of the kanji for "bewitching; attractive; calamity" and "spectre; apparition; mystery; suspicious."

[jeontaehui]

TAEHEE WITH OTHER IDOLS

twice’s chaeyoung

her bestie !!!!! chaeyoung’s like her mark but like outside the group.

they support each other whenever the other wins an award, always giving wide smiles that are too hard to hide.

their hangouts are referred to as ‘dates’ by the fans, considering how romantic their dinners are and how chaeyoung captions her instagram posts after going on said ‘date’.

chaeyoung is very clingy when she sees her. she clings onto taehee like a koala :(

in award shows, taehee would tend to walk slower than the rest of the neos just to talk to chaeyoung.

chaeyoung was once caught playfully flirting with taehee during an award show, causing the latter to laugh as the camera pans to another group.

iconic moment (seoul music awards 2019) taehee took mirror selfies as she waited for chaeyoung to finish up in the bathroom. when chaeyoung found out, she later posted these on instagram with the caption, “the one who i love 😍❤️”.

stray kid’s han

her other bestie since predebut !!!!!!!!

both are so powerful in the rap industry already, stayzens are just waiting for a collab.

they met in a convenience store. jisung wanted her to go to jyp with him, only to find out she’s been training in sm already (cue pouting from the both of them).

both are in Love with each other’s music, with jisung having some of nct’s songs in his playlist and taehee knowing the lyrics and the choreo to skz’s songs.

their reactions to each other’s performances are adorable !!!!!! and even funny at times. attending the same award shows means very cute interactions fans’ lenses would capture <3

(seoul music awards 2019) before the two groups walked by each other, taehee slowed down her pace and let herself stay behind the group to greet the main rapper of stray kids. once jisung was within arm’s reach from her, she raised her hand for a high-five, to which jisung pulled her into a bro-hug instead. he whispered something to her first and ruffled her hair, making the older girl hit his shoulder softly, laughing as he left.

jisung introduced taehee to chan and felix and she now has two new aussie buddies that remind her of home too !!!!!

iconic moment (isac 2019) stayzens went batshit crazy when skz had to pass by nct during the sports competition. seeing this as a chance to be playful with his best friend, jisung jumped over the first row of seats and proceeded to whisper something to taehee (who was seated very near to where the other members of skz were by the way), before jumping over to the third row. jisung must have said something really funny to taehee since it made the female idol to turn away laughing as she covered her mouth. later on, we see the two talk, inviting a very excited chan and a shy mark lee to the conversation. 

red velvet’s yeri, april’s naeun, and weki meki’s doyeon

yeri and taehee were already close since trainee days (she’s close with the rest of red velvet too). taehee knew yeri was friends with naeun and she was Dying to meet her so yeri introduced them to each other, and since doyeon is friends with naeun, the latter later introduced all three of them to each other.

yeri and taehee always sat beside each other whenever nct is asked to share a table with red velvet. yeri would laugh a lot since taehee’s always so energetic when she dances to the other groups’ songs. she always hung out with red velvet during isac but would end up having yeri to herself anyways ,,, they teased each other a lot too.

taehee Loves naeun, literally. she’s always flirting with her and telling her how pretty and cute she is. naeun was flustered at first but now she’s used to it lol. taehee would literally just stare at naeun with a loving smile during pre-performance interviews in inkigayo ,, naeun does the same whenever it’s time for taehee to say her lines ^ ^ and whenever they would accidentally make eye contact, they crack up and try to hide their giggles.

taehee was kinda intimidated of doyeon at first ,,, but she thought she was a chill type of person. turns out doyeon had a lot of cute charms in her and taehee always finds herself calling her cute when she does so. they are literally a power duo. whenever the two are mentioned together, fans would gush about how good they would look in a photoshoot together.

iconic moment (yeri bang ep. 11-1) “doyeon’s and taehee’s styles are similar. right?” yeri asks as she picks out beads for the bracelet she’s putting together for taehee. “taehee would want something that goes well with her outfit. she mostly wears monotone or beige colors,” naeun points out.

“ahh naeun, you know me so well,” taehee cooes, and clearly, her eyes were in the shape of hearts. seeing as the she got ignored, yeri drops her mouth open feigning offense. “why didn’t you give me a reaction like that?” she whines, “i knew you before naeun!!!”

“she’s just really interested in naeun,” doyeon hums casually, making the other girls laugh as taehee stood up from her seat. “HEY!!! that’s making me sound like a bad friend and i’m not.”

“are you really?” yeri continues to tease her, causing the said girl to whine and hug her in embarrassment.

blackpink

they’ve met and exchanged numbers in a music show early in their debuts.

she’s the closest with rosé and lisa since their age gap is quite smaller compared to jennie and jisoo.

there have been fancams of taehee watching blackpink perform and once jisoo was on the monitor, we’d see taehee mutter, “ahh she’s really pretty.”

taehee visits blackpink’s table once every award show, and jennie would be so attentive and welcoming of her — fixing her hair, being genuinely interested in what she’s saying, and laughing at her jokes. she was seen clinging onto taehee’s waist at some point, jennie adores taehee :(

taehee’s og aussie buddy is rosé !!!! they talk and eat together a lot, mostly about australia. taehee mentioned her in a radio show talking about the time they both cried in a public restaurant, “we were talking about home and then rosé unnie just started talking about her parents and suddenly i’m tearing up and then she’s tearing up and so we ended up crying while we ate pasta,” she laughed.

lisa thinks of taehee as her little brother. she’s just as energetic as her and taehee’s jokes are what lisa finds so funny. she would join in on a few of rosé and taehee’s hangouts and take lots and lots of pictures of them (and jokingly get mad if one of the girls don’t give her credit when they post on instagram).

iconic moment (200718 rosé instagram live) “you are so hot, rosé,” taehee reads from the comments, making it a sound a little sexy for the effect, the latter widening her eyes at the implication. “how ‘bout me? how ‘bout me?” lisa cuts in, “guys. how ‘bout me?”

“i’m the hottest okay? i’m the hottest,” she presses, rosé repeating what she said in breathy laughter. meanwhile, taehee was looking at lisa with the most sincere eyes she could muster just to tease her, “you are,” she emphasized, “the hottest.”

rosé laughs for the nth time that day as she clutches her stomach before questioning the youngest’s words, “ya, are you a two-timer?”

“no, i just have the prettiest girls beside me.”

ateez’s wooyoung and txt’s yeonjun

more of taehee’s ‘99 liner friends !!!!

taehee met wooyoung when she bumped into ateez in a convenience store near music bank. the leader of ateez greeted her first and a few of the members who were with him became acquainted with taehee, but wooyoung became the closest to her !!!!

(ateez boatta cover dance) “HEY JEON TAEHEE LOOK!!!!” wooyoung shouted before dancing ‘kick it’.

taehee covered ‘say my name’ and ‘answer’ in two of her dance vlives.

then wooyoung introduced yeonjun to taehee when the latter guested as an mc for inkigayo.

(191115 vlive) “oh i really like this song (run away by txt), i listen to this before going to bed sometimes. i’m actually friends with one of the members, yeonjun. ateez’s wooyoung introduced us while i mc’d as a special guest for inkigayo and we exchanged numbers. i really like their songs, especially the vibe.”

taehee is known to be very open with her friendships with other idols, so fans were quite okay with seeing her hang out with the two, her manager trailing a few feet behind them.

iconic moment (191115 vlive) taehee’s laugh trails off once she saw a notification pop-up on her phone. unlocking her phone, she snorts once she checked the message. she proceeds to show the meme to the camera while covering the top part of her phone, “ateez’s wooyoung sent this to our gc with txt’s yeonjun.”

“aha!! d’you guys know? when i send stuff to the gc, sometimes they leave me on read or reply ‘....’ just to tease me,” she rolls her eyes playfully, “but i’m glad we’re comfortable enough to tease each other.”

itzy’s yuna

taehee wanted to make friends to go out of her shell more, and she thought asking her manager to get yuna’s number was the first step.

taehee’s like Really fond of yuna ,,, and she’s glad they got along well real quick so she took her out to eat.

earlier in the year, when superm was touring, yuna sang a snippet of taehee’s solo song and tried to dance all the points of the choreo she could remember.

the fans have yet to see more interactions (or crumbs) from these two — noticing how their age gap is just a year longer than taehee’s and jisung’s, midzyzens would LOVE to see taehee baby yuna :(

iconic moment (200922 yuna instagram live) “nct’s taehee video called me awhile ago. we’re good friends,” yuna shyly giggles in front of the camera. “it’s been a long time since we last talked to each other so she called me, and then told me how much she loved our new album. she told me she really likes ‘not shy’, but she loves ‘be in love’ the most,” she explains further, adding how the nct member loved it because of her ‘killing me, killing me’ verse. 

“taehee unnie is very good to me,” she cutely smiles. “she’s very genuine with her words and she’s really supportive. i hope for us to eat again and become closer in the future.” 

[travis-and-jodi]

Texts & Passages

Travis & Chaitanya ~~~~~ Every guy at least dreams

It took all of three days after Mimi had the friend talk with Travis, for Travis to be in bed with yet another woman; Chaitanya Lay.

The dark-haired beauty, Chaitanya, was a friend of both Jodi’s and Travis’. She was a 24 year old single mom, living in Cottonwood, Arizona, about 2 hours north of Phoenix.

Chaitanya and Travis had been flirting for months. Travis, in all his resourcefulness had been questioning Chaitanya about her interest in a threesome. Who was the other lucky lady going to be? Well, of course… Jodi Arias.

(VANITY: Jodi Arias by Lisa Wilson & Nick van der Leek)

February 28, 2008

08:23:31 TRAVIS to CHAITANYA: You and Jodi would get along. She is way into astrology and she thinks your hot. She is sexually attracted to you.

08:38:38 TRAVIS: Be honest if you knew she’s say yes would you hook up with her, for curiosities sake.

08:43:14 CHAITANYA: I would have to know her better. I don’t think I could do it without knowing her at least a little

08:43:20 TRAVIS: Yes or no

08:43:20 TRAVIS: Hmmm did somebody say menage?

08:45:06 CHAITANYA: So if she were to ask me now, would I say yes or no? I’d have to say no L It would just be way too uncomfortable.

08:47:22 TRAVIS: I don’t think you’d do a menage. I think your too chicken…

08:52:26 CHAITANYA: Are u challenging me?!

08:52:50 TRAVIS: Yes

08:58:53 TRAVIS: Every guy at least dreams about it very few do it and hardly anyone does it with two super hot chicks. I know Jodi would love to get you in the sack.

09:03:55 CHAITANYA: So then why hasn’t she ever tried to make out with me in the halls?

09:04:34 TRAVIS: She told me she thought you were too shy.

09:07:38 CHAITANYA: I’m just curiou as to how any why the conversation came up between u two???

09:08:27 TRAVIS: I lead the conversation that direction to see if she dug you. I thought she would.

As far as we know, this ménage never happened, but the flirting between Travis and Chaitanya continues. Not only does it continue it gets hotter and more suggestive.

March 7, 2008

07:05:10 TRAVIS: Just long as your naked at some point :-)

07:33:38 CHAITANYA: What do u think of massage?

07:34:08 TRAVIS: I think its great

07:36:04 CHAITANYA: Would u let me put my hands all over u? I promise I’ll make u feel good

07:36:39 TRAVIS: Well since you promise :-) Hooray for feeling good

Remember at the beginning of March Travis is knee deep in trying to land Mimi as a wife. He has also just broken up with Lisa, a girl that he loved, and was supposedly heart-broken, and in agony, over the whole situation.

All this seems more than enough drama for one person to handle, but not for Travis. He seemed to be avoiding all of his issues, going from vice to vice, looking for an escape. Having sex with Jodi is also no longer enough to quench his thirst. His new conquest is Chaitanya Lay and he is hell bent on getting her into bed.

Travis always had that weakness of womanising inside of him but in 2008 he seems to be going off the rails. Was it Jodi making him crazy? Or was it something else, and Jodi was simply a temporary fix? This guy seems addicted to sex. He seems to be using it to feel better about himself, but somehow ends up feeling worse: lonely, conflicted and guilty. Around the end of April, Travis seems to be growing impatient. He asks Chaitanya directly if she’s ready to get it on.

April 30 2008

08:57:45 TRAVIS to CHAITANYA: Comfortable is easy. Happy is relative. Are we ever gonna get romantic at all? Just making sure we were on the same page to some extent. I think you look delish. I want to tempt you.

Travis gets his wish just a few weeks later and but snooping Jodi finds out about it too. In 2013, when she wrote a 12 page letter to the court requesting that Kirk Nurmi be removed from her case, she revealed in that letter that Travis had cheated with Chaitanya Lay. Here’s the proof of the pudding:

May 19, 2008

04:25:30 TRAVIS to CHAITANYA: Well I was worn out from sending you to nirvana.

04:29:06 CHAITANYA: :-) you did a good job!

04:31:21 TRAVIS: Haha yeah you seemed to like it. But then you felt guilty… Does guilty mean you wouldn’t let it happen again?

04:32:50 CHAITANYA: under different circumstances I may!

04:33:23 TRAVIS: What different cirumstances?

04:45:00 CHAITANYA: A longer time frame and having the appropriate relationship!

04:47:15 TRAVIS: :-) you’re cute. Such a lady. Were you surprised with how forward I with how forward I was or how uninhibited I was. Or just think I was a slut??? :-)

04:50:58 CHAITANYA: Definitely surprised at how uninhibited you were! Wasn’t thinking you were a slut though

04:53:27 TRAVIS: You must have thought I was all talk before. Until you found my head between your legs :-)

04:54:21 CHAITANYA: Yes, I will admit I did, lol. Sorry!

04:56:54 TRAVIS: I guess I showed you. Its probably best you felt that way. Maybe a more unique experience for you. I had played that out in my mind a number of times however.

05:02:22 CHAITANYA: Had you??? Well…

05:02:52 TRAVIS: Is there something wrong with that?

05:04:14 CHAITANYA: Ummm, no :-)

05:04:50 TRAVIS: Good. I wish you were here. I’m lonely. L

I’ve always had a feeling that Jodi’s plan of revenge was something that bubbled and brewed over a long period of time. Just as Sky had warned, Travis recklessness with Jodi’s heart was about to come to his home to roost. If Travis serial dalliances were one unbearable let down after another for Jodi, the whole month of May was a shitstorm of disappointment bar none for her. There were seething arguments and betrayal galore. Seeing text messages confirming a sexual liaison with one of her friends, must have cut Jodi deep. After being burned again and again, something starts to change in Jodi. Out of the ashes of her lovelorn hopes for Travis, out of the wreckage and ruin of all that broken heartedness, a bitter hatred begs to germinate. It takes root in fertile soils and soon becomes a gigantic twisted tree dripping with poisonous fruit.

Eventually the tree is breaking through the roof of her small little girl’s bedroom in Yreka. Her grandfather’s house can no longer hold her, nothing than hold her. As her darkness consumes her, she begins to have different fantasies about Travis.

Hurt him like he hurt me.

These dark fantasies begin to make her feel better. Soon it’s all she can think about, getting the better of him. And as the clock ticks by in her grandfather’s house she feels an unexpected force compelling her. The dark tree growing inside her blossoms with small pockets, small schemes, and small explosions of dark energy. YES! And so, just as Jodi has lived out Travis’ sexual fantasies again and again and again, now she’s prepared to take on board one of her own. This one’s a doozy; Jodi is going to take Travis’s sadism to a whole new level. And it feels so good!

Travis, in her mind, was a dirty, dirty boy. He was scamming everyone, including Mimi, and he was getting away with it. This above all made Jodi seethe, but then it takes one to know one, right?

By May 2008 Jodi’s Knight in Shining Armour has completely lost his shine. All Travis’ silver surfaces have become blemished and blackened. He’s already dead to her. He’s no longer the man who can give her a future. He’s a monster that’s stolen her life from her, after all she did for him, after giving him his every whim and now it’s time for bloody payback. If it’s going to end it will be on her terms, not his. Travis is a nasty scoundrel who has to be taken off this earth and she’s going to do it! He’s not going to get any more kicks at her expense! Cancun? Mimi? No NO NO!

But if Jodi thought Travis’ serial seductions were about to be over permanently, or that it would end with Chaitanya or Mimi, guess again. Ever heard of Maria Avila?

(VANITY: Jodi Arias by Lisa Wilson & Nick van der Leek)

[chefrat]

another weasley

pairings: fred weasley x reader

type: fluff 

word-count: 2.7k

warnings: some cursing 

 A/N: nothing just thought I'd hop on this and try it out I guess :o

No one had a clue of what was going on, or more like, no one was paying attention. Except Molly Weasley. She watched your every move, so much happiness filling her up that she could cry. Fred didn’t even know either, neither did you! But to Molly, it was pretty obvious. She has gone through it quite a lot, six times to be exact, and was able to recognize every single sign. You were pregnant! Molly was able to notice the change in your sleeping habits, the random waves of nausea, the extra snacking, the more you’d get mad at Fred whenever him and George were up to no good. It stressed Molly out seeing how immature the two still were but she knew she couldn’t go bursting your guys bubble. She preferred you find out on your own, wanting to see Fred’s reaction from afar but it has been a month and a half and still no one has taken action. Molly got to brainstorming, trying to find ways to make it obvious towards you. Maybe she could ask you if you missed your period? No, that would make it too obvious that she knew. She grew annoyed that not one of you could put it together. 

“Hey, love.” Fred said, giving you a peck on the lips. He had just come back from a walk with his brothers, taking a breather out in the fresh April air. You giggled, feeling his nose poke your cheek when he pulled away. He smiled down at you, happy to have you tagging along to his childhood home. Molly couldn’t help but watch and gush from afar. ‘Oh! I’m going to be a grandmother!’ She thought to herself happily. George greeted you with a hug, treating you like the sister you were to him. Molly was blinded by her own happiness that she didn’t notice when George and Fred disappeared and reappeared behind her, scared out of her mind, she threw her hands up, while she screamed. They both laughed, moving away from their mother quickly. 

“George! Fred!” She screeched loudly, making the twins laugh louder. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle. Ginny came out to see what all the fuss was about, surprise in her eyes. Once she saw what was the commotion about, she left a laugh out. It was days like these that you enjoyed, being close to your boyfriend and his family. You rarely were ever near your own family, conflict and fighting all the time so the Weasley’s were like your actual home. Your true family. While Molly went off to chase the twins, Ginny walked closer to you, shy for what she was about to ask. 

“Hey, um, do you by any chance have an extra pad with you? I haven’t been able to go get some myself.” Ginny whispered to you gently which caused panic to rise inside of you. “Shit.” You gasped, trying to remember when was the last time you had your period. The ginger raised an eyebrow, unaware of what was going on. Worried written well all over her pale and small face. “Is something wrong? It’s okay if you don’t have any on you.” You shook your head in protest. No, it wasn’t that. It was something bigger than that. “I’m late.” A blush took over your face as Ginny clapped her hands together, covering her mouth while she let a gasp slip out. The huge grin on Ginny only made you blush harder but she soon dropped the act when she heard her twin brothers getting closer. 

“Let’s go to the shop, we’ll be able to find the things we need there.” She offered and you nodded, glad to have her by your side during such a shocking moment. 

-

After visiting the shop and buying all the items that were needed, you both eagerly crowded the Weasley bathroom. She had asked to stay with you, trying her best to comfort you. After agreeing, she turned around, giving you your privacy while you peed on the pregnancy test. You awkwardly put the test between your legs, new to the feeling of having to take one. “This is awkward, Ginny.” Blushing, you let out a stream, peeing directly on it while you looked toward the brittle ceiling. She only giggled, snickering to herself in the corner. “These are the consequences you have to face for sleeping with my brother.” You let out a laugh, closing the tip of the freshly used test and placing it carefully on the counter. “You can turn around now.” The remaining pee flushed down the toilet and Ginny glanced down at her wrist watch, waiting for the five minutes to pass. 

“Soo, you and my brother, eh?” Rolling your eyes, you groaned. Laying your head on her sharp shoulder. Ginny wrapped her arms around you, patting your hair down and trying her best to soothe you. The younger girl secretly wished for it to be positive, ever since Fred had started dating you while you both were in Hogwarts and ever since the first time he brought you home, Ginny had instantly taken a liking towards you, just like how everyone in the Weasley family has. Now it's been, what? Three? Four years? It was bound to happen some day, planned or unplanned. 

“Yea,” Sighing, you pulled away, pouting. “I swear, it was only that ONE time we did it without protection. It really does take one time.” Ginny giggled again. “He is a Weasley, you know what they say about us. Breeding like crazy.” You giggled with her, remembering how everyone in Hogwarts had teased them, asking if there was another Weasley waiting at home to attend Hogwarts. “Merlin, what am I going to tell your mom?” 

“Hey, we still haven’t gotten a chance to see what the test says. It could all just be a false alarm.” She looked at her watch again, the five minutes gone. Both girls looked at each other, scared. “Go look.” You blurted out. “No, you look.” Ginny said back, failing to comfort you as her own palms grew sweaty from the anxiety. With eyebrows furrowed and trembling hands, you turned around, taking a small step forward to the counter. With a slow shaky hand, you grabbed the test and brought it close enough to read. Positive. 

“So?” Ginny asked, biting her nails. It felt as if the air had been suffocating you, your own throat tightening and not being able to muster up even a small yes. So you nodded making Ginny smile and hug you from the back. Of course you were happy! Just shocked, afraid of what Fred would say. Afraid of what Molly would say! If only you knew that she had already figured it out on her own and already so so happy that you were pregnant with her grandchild. “How are we going to tell t-them?” You turned around, hot tears streaming down your face. Ginny immediately wrapped her arms around you again, she hated seeing you upset. “Please don’t cry. I can guarantee you that they’re all going to be ecstatic by the news!” She cheered while you sobbed. 

“Come on, let’s wash your face with cold water. We can talk more about it in my room, I want you lay down and stay off your feet for now.” You agreed, turning around and turning the sink on, letting the water run. After being able to calm down, Ginny grabbed you and the test. She took your hand and guided you toward her neat and tidy comfort zone that was her room. Fred was working long hours today at the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes so both of you had the house for yourselves, Molly being away on a small date with Arthur. You were happy at how far they had come, seeing them grow from selling at school to owning their own shop and expressing themselves with their inventions. A child was definitely not in Fred’s plans and you knew that. His five year plan was to grow his family business and focus on his career with his twin and your were on board with it. But still, how would he react to having a bump interrupt his plans? Literally. 

“What do you think?” You asked, sniffling. The ginger smiled, looking into your eyes lovingly and taking the seat next to you on her bed. “I think it's wonderful and I’m happy to become an aunt. But, remember that it’s all your choice. I don’t want you to feel forced to carryout a surprise pregnancy, nothing was planned and I cannot relate to how scared you might be feeling right now but I am anxious for you. And I will stand with you with whichever decision you take.” Ginny said, leaning into your shoulder. Hands intertwined and both taking shaky sighs. Millions of thoughts ran through your head, most of them were about Fred and how he would react. You thought of the pros and cons, mentally forming a list in your head. “I think it's wonderful too, Ginny.” She smiled, giving your hand a squeeze. “But I want to talk about it with Fred too, I don’t want to force him into anything. It’s a group decision and I can’t decide for him, that’d be unfair. Especially now that his business is doing good, a baby would just add more stress.” 

It was great to have Ginny by your side. She was the biggest support system you had right now, something that made you emotional. You weren’t sure if it was the change in hormones that made your more emotional or because Ginny’s help was really moving but you couldn’t help but just cry. And she let you, welcoming you with open arms, not caring if her shirt got all soaked with salty tears and snot. You are family to her and she admired you for being so involved and caring. 

Hours passed and you were asleep on Ginny’s bed while she was down in the kitchen, trying to fix you up something nutritional for when you woke up. She scavenged around the cupboards, trying to find the book of recipes Molly kept when she was pregnant to prepare just the right meals with a dash of magic. ‘Found it.’ She thought to herself once she saw it at the top, collecting dust. Casting a quick spell to bring it down, not trying to do all the work of standing on the counter. Her wand called for the remaining ingredients, all being laid out in front of her as she flipped through the book. Ginny was absolutely positive that Fred would want to keep it, she knew her brother and she knew that there wasn’t anything else that he wanted but you. In his life, in his future, in everything. 

She walked up the stairs holding the warm bowl of lentils that had a various amount of veggies, and on the other hand, an organic yogurt with a crushed up recipe scrambled in with oats. You were still sound asleep but with Ginny’s gentle hand rubbing your shoulder, you rose up, thanking her for the meal and the support. Feeling awkward that you were the only one eating, she rushed down the stairs to prep herself a meal to join you. You both sat next to each other, enjoying your meals and having small chatter between you both. “Imagine the little clothes.” Ginny gushed while you smiled. You like the thought of that. “The hands!” 

-

Everyone was home now, Fred and George barely got home and they were tired from being on their feet all day. They simultaneously took off their blazers, sat down, rubbed their head and sighed. You popped out of the hallway, giving a reason for Fred to get up excitedly off the couch with a smile on his face, making his way to you. “Baby.” He said making you choke on your own spit. Fred rose an eyebrow at it but didn’t question. Instead, he quickly pecked your forehead, then your nose, and finally, lowering down to your lips. “Can we talk real quick? Something came up today.” You mumbled against his chest as he smothered you with hugs and kisses. His body tensed at the words that fell out of your mouth but he nodded, slightly worried that there was something wrong. You guided him towards a room that wasn’t occupied by his family.

“Is everything alright, love?” The concern that was visible in his face and in his voice was enough to make anyone tear up and that’s exactly what you did. Fred got even more concerned when he saw the tears forming in your eyes. “Are you okay? Is something wrong? Have you come down with something? Are your parents bothering you again?” He bombed you with questions and all you could do was shake your head no. 

“Listen, F-freddie.” You started, sniffling and trying your best to put yourself together in front of the love of your life. “I’m pregnant, I swear to you I just found out today.” Silence. The only response you did not want. It hurt every second knowing that he wasn’t letting out even a breath of air. Too afraid to make eye contact with him, you stared down at his hands that held yours lovingly. “I know it wasn’t in your plans, I’m willing to forget about it so we can continue living like we were yesterday. But, just please say something.” Finding the courage somehow, you looked up seeing that the reason why he was so quiet was because he was biting his lip, tears falling from the corner of his eyes. 

The laugh you love so much filled the room as he pulled his hands away from you to rub the tears away from his eyes. “Forget it? This is amazing, we’re going to be a family!” Fred cheered a little to loudly, Molly appeared quickly in the room. Just by hearing the word ‘family’ made her heart skip a beat, excited that it was finally happening. Your heart dropped when she came into your view but a huge smile was dominating her. “About time you found out! I noticed just a month ago!” Fred turned to look at his mother. “I’m going to be a dad!” He yelled excitedly. Quickly, the room started filling up with all type of Weasley’s. First Ginny, a huge smile on her face. Then, Ron, confused of the random shouting, a piece of bread stuffed into his cheek. Then George, both eyebrows raised, excited for his brother. Percy in his suit stood next to Ron, confused as well as the yelling was muffled from where he was in the house. “We’re pregnant.” Fred said proudly, pulling you into him while planting a huge kiss on your cheek. His nose poking you which always made you giggle. 

But, he was quickly to let go of you to hug George. “A Weasley!” They shouted, hugging each other and patting each others backs roughly. Molly scoffed at how Fred quickly changed his attention from you to George. She walked up to you and cupped your face. “I am so happy for you.” You teared up a little at the motherly love and acceptance. Her arms wrapped around you tightly, as if she was afraid to let you go. “I love you.” The tears of happiness couldn’t help but leak from your already tired eyes. You’ve spent the whole day crying but now they were tears of relief, tears of happiness and of excitement. The night was spent by celebrating the news, Arthur was the last one to hear it since he was off on a quick errand but he was filled with excitement knowing that they’ll be a new addition to the Weasley family. “Another one!” He cheered, Fred and George joining in.

This was a new chapter for both of you, of course you had a huge support system but you still were scared shitless of what parenthood had to offer. It was only the beginning, you weren’t even showing but soon that would turn into a small bump, to a bigger one. Then, to carrying them in your arms and raising them. A little you or a little Fred or possibly both. 

(not edited)

[soldrawss]

Does Big Bro!Mikey AU have an april or no? I think it would be nice for Mikey to have a bff april!!

April is a part of this au, yes! She started out as just a classmate of Mikey’s, they had the same homeroom in high school before Mikey dropped out the summer before his Junior year. They hadn’t really kept in contact, mostly because she only knew him by proxy (Mikey was nice and friendly to everyone, April of course included, but they didn’t have much in common, and their main friend groups were different, so they didn’t hang out much) and when Mikey all but disappeared without an explanation, she kinda just figured he moved or something, and left it at that, not giving him any thought for the next three years.

That is, until she meets him again, in the halls of Hunter College, looking like he was gonna collapse at any minute, which he kinda does, into an empty bench at the schools outside cafe and lounge area. April waffles for a few seconds, because ‘holy shit is that Mike Hamato?’ before biting the bullet and making her way over to say, “Hey, Michael right? Hi, it’s been a while. It’s April, we had homeroom together freshman and sophomore year. I haven’t seen you since Savanti Romero’s pool party. How are you?” And his smile is a slow, automatic thing at first, more out of common politeness than anything else, but then it grows into something much more genuine and glacier melting when he responds back, “April, hey, yeah, hi! Wow, has it really been that long? Man, it seems like just yesterday you were fishing Mondo and me out of the pool after one too many chicken fights. It’s good to see you!”

And catching up seemed so easy, April was almost surprised they hadn’t been better friends in high school. Though, she suspected that was mostly due to Mikey’s incredibly easy charm and naturally inviting warmth. (Dude could make friends with just about anyone)

He was a little different than how she remembered, a little more weather-worn and tired, a kinda weariness that hung off his shoulders like heavyweights. But there was still a bright shine to those penny-colored eyes, and when he smiled, it was with all the dimples and joy that she remembers so clearly from when she was 15. Holding back a laugh at the Hamato kid that was preforming springing handstands across the cafeteria just to draw attention away from the impending fight between two of their more hotheaded classmates and ease the tension out of the air in a ridiculous but effective manner.

She doesn’t ask why he left high school, it doesn’t really occur to her to ask, but after 2 hours of talking (April not even realizing she was missing her history class because she was so caught up in their catching up) he offers the information anyway.

His dad died. When he was barely 16, and he was left alone with 3 baby brothers and no other family that could help take care of them, and oh my god, he just dropped out of school to get his GED like it was the most common thing in the world and he went to work, what, 2, sometimes 3 jobs just to make enough money to support them all and April didn’t mean for tears to start pooling up because that so wasn’t fair to Mikey at all, if anyone should be crying, it should be him, but Mikey just looks a little shy and bashful about it all. “It was hard, but we got through it. And hey, now I’m working at like, this really prestigious Italian restaurant, super classy and everything! And they pay me more than I’m probably worth, but I’ll get my culinary degree in like a year, and then after that, a lot of things will change,” He says like everything in the world is just that easy, handing April a few tissues from his book bag and giving her one of those genuine, if not a little crooked, smiles of his.

Mikey promises to have lunch with her again (because April absolutely refuses to let this dandelion haired lunatic walk away from her life a second time and practically demands that they hang out again) since they both have the same free time before their respective classes at the college, and makes a show of saving her number with probably a few too many emojis as a contact name just to make her smile.

And what turned into a promise for another lunch date turned into almost a daily routine, them having lunch together on the bench, talking about classes and teachers and jobs and April’s problematic little kitten she affectionately named Mayhem and Mikey’s little brothers who are probably equally as problematic but he doesn’t have a say in what their names are, and things are fun and casual between Hamato and her.

That is, until two months later, when April gets a call from Mikey at 5pm on a Saturday.

“Donnie’s sick,” Mikey says almost breathlessly, and even without the context, April was already springing to her feet just at the sheer tension and concern in Mikey’s voice, like a taught wire about to snap. “I can’t get off work for another few hours, but I don’t want to leave him by himself with a fever. And I know this is like, putting you on the spot and really awkward and you can totally say no if you want to, but I don’t know who else to call and,-”

“Mike, it’s ok. Breathe hun,” April is saying, not unkindly pushing Mayhem off her lap and reaching for her backpack off the floor in her dorm room, stuffing a few random things in it before grabbing her jacket and her car keys off the counter. “Text me your address. I’ll be over there in 5 minutes tops.”

And it’s more of a promise than a fact, because his building is technically 20 minutes away from hers, but April makes it in 10 just by spite alone (and maybe driving a little recklessly downtown) and knocks on the door of the little apartment on the 6th floor, unit 404.

It takes a hesitant second, but then the door lock clicks open and April is greeted by warm brown eyes and a freckled face that reminds April so much of Mikey that it takes her almost a full 10 seconds before she introduces herself with an automatic smile. “Hi sweetheart, I’m April. I’m a friend of your older brother Mikey.”

Raphael, if April remembered Mikey’s brothers correctly, didn’t really need much convincing to let April in after she mentioned he was a friend of Mikey's, and doesn’t hesitate to pull her into their little apartment, leading her to the bedroom that the twins share with a small but tight little fist around hers.

“Mikey called and said you were coming. Leo’s atah sleepover, but Donnie’s in here. His head’s still hot and his voice is all scratchy, even though I made sure that he took the medicine Mikey left out. And he won’t eat anything I give him,” the 7-year-old reports diligently, much more mature than April had expected from the young child. 

April’s been babysitting since she was 11, and considering how all the neighborhood kids around her block adore her, she likes to think that she’s got a pretty solid Ph.D. in knowing how to take care of a sick pre-teen who wants nothing to do with her. So the heavy-lidded and red-eyed glare that Donatello shoots at her from under his covers is duly noted but otherwise ignored as she gently knocks on the door and slowly follows a much less hesitant Raphael into the bedroom.

It takes a while, a long while, for Donatello, no, Donnie, to warm up to her, but he gets there eventually, with the help of Raphael, Raph, who’s hanging off of Aprils shoulders, having warmed up to her almost immediately simply because ‘any friend of Mikey’s is a friend of ours Dee! Don’t be mean and eat some soup!’

After realizing that Donnie just had a little cold, and was in no real danger even with a fever, Raph seemed to cheer up immensely, and was more than willing to help answer all of April’s questions about what medicine Donnie had taken, any allergies, the last time he ate, and even helped her make some egg drop soup since they didn’t have enough ingredients of chicken noodle, which Donnie put up a fight about, but eventually took after one look of Raph’s puppy dog eyes.

Donnie was out like a light 15 minutes later, after taking some night time cough medicine and April sent a reassuring text to Mikey two hours later when his fever finally broke, to which Mikey replied with an explosion of heart emoji’s that April couldn’t rightly decipher other than he was happy about it.

Mikey got home at 11 that night, and April had to flag him down quietly from where she sat trapped under a sleeping, pj clad Raph on the couch; a Jupiter Jim movie marathon playing on the tv. 

“Thank you so much, April,” Mikey said to her in the kitchen 20 minutes later, handing her a cup of hot tea. He had efficiently plucked Raph off of April’s lap like a pro with years of experience, putting him into his own bed before checking on a still sleeping Donnie, whose face was no longer a burnt red from his fever earlier. “I don’t know what I would have done without you. I don’t get my paycheck till next week, so I can’t really pay you right now, but I brought home some chocolate mousse cake from my work that you can have until I can-” “You didn’t tell me you worked at Huesso’s!” April didn’t shout, because there were two kids sleeping down the hallway, as she grabbed the bag Mikey had offered to her. “Dude, their deserts are like, crazy good! I love their cheesecake, but they’re stupid expensive and you have to get a reservation like, 4 months in advance to get in.” And April uses the change in topics as a distraction because there was no way she’d let Mikey try to pay her for helping out, she didn’t even want that to be an option. April didn’t do this for the money. She wanted to help out Mikey out. She liked Mikey. She thought he was funny and charming and had a heart big enough to cradle the entire world if he was as big as all the love he has. And she adored being around his baby brothers.

April grins at Mikey when she opens the box, and slides her finger over the glossy frosting of the cake and licks her fingers of the chocolatey goodness before she says, “Listen, if I could convince you to bring me home deserts from this place, then I’ll hang out with the boys anytime you want me too. You have my number, literally call me anytime, for any reason, and I’m here.”

[pink-peony-princess]

I'll Always Protect the People I Love

I really couldn't tell you how it happened, one minute I was hanging up washing on the line and the next I was on the ground in a load of pain. It had been one of those days, you know the ones where everything goes wrong? First I woke up late and missed an important virtual meeting,then I somehow managed to knock over a massive glass of water,the contents going absolutely everywhere. All over my bedside table, my phone (luckily it was waterproof) and several important pieces of paper which I'd been reading for the very meeting I had missed.

Maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I shouldn't have even bothered with today? Maybe I'd have been better if I had stayed in bed. One thing was for sure, I'd be in less pain right now.The only good thing was that my husband who usually worked as a doctor in the local hospital's E.D had taken an annual leave day to get the filing done which he'd gotten behind on.

"Crap," I hissed as I lifted my arm to inspect the massive scrape that had resulted from the fall.

Everything hurt, my arm, my legs which I could see from the droplets of blood falling onto the concrete had also copped a nasty whack, even my side hurt. I could feel myself getting nauseous at the sight of the blood, I'd never been any good at anything to do with medical stuff, it just made me want to vomit. What Shawn got from it, I wasn't sure, but he was passinate about medicine and was always so good. Not only at solving the actual issue at hand, but at making connections with his patients,at gaining their trust.

I tried to stay calm, to take a few deep breaths, but I could feel my composure crumbling as all the day's events caught up to me.

"Shawn!" I called out,voice shaking with the effort of trying to hold back tears. "Shawn," I shouted a little louder when there was no response. Finally I was met with the sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

"April, what's the matter, I was in the middle of a -" he stopped dead in the middle of the yard when he saw me.

"What happened?" he asked, recovering his composure quickly and rushing over to me.

"I tripped," I sniffled, as he bent down,noticing the blood on my hands and knees, and the way I was holding my aching side.

"I can see that baby," he spoke softly, lifting the hem of my dress up just enough to see how far up the wound was.

"This looks nasty and sore," he commented, pouting,causing me to whimper. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, especially from him,someone who spent his days seeing gross wounds and abbrassions.

"It hurts," I cried reaching for him out of habit,only to have my hands sting in protest. I couldn't help the tears that came steadily now, rolling down my face and clouding my vision.

"Oh, honey, please don't cry," he shushed me, reaching up to wipe them away. "It's okay, I'll fix you up, I promise,"

"I'm sorry for being a cry-baby," I muttered scrubbing at my tears with the back of my hand.

"You're not a cry-baby Honey,you've just had a tough day is all," he replied,pressing a kiss to my forehead. I sat there for a minute forgetting the pain,just resting my head against his chest, letting him hold me. He was the one person in the world, who could always make things better.

"Alright Princess, do you think you can stand up?" he asked,taking hold of my upper arms, supporting most of my weight. I stood slowly,my entire body felt as if it was simultaneously being set on fire and hit by a truck.

We made our way inside. Slowly. Incredibly slowly, but Shawn was patient as I hobbled along beside him.

"Here, sit down here," he told me, helping me onto one of the dining room chairs.

"But what about the blood?" I pointed to the blood which was still flowing slowly from several of the wounds.

"It's okay, the chairs can be cleaned," he replied clearly unphased."I'm going to get the first aid kit, stay there," he told me.

"Not like I can go anywhere," I retorted making him laughed as he ran off in the direction of the bathroom.

He came running back less than a minute later, "I'm okay Shawn," I laughed,going to lean back in the chair, but the contact caused the grazes on my back to sting furiously. "Ah," I hissed, leaning forward again.

"Yeah, you look fine," Shawn sassed back, placing the large box of medical supplies on the ground and opening it. It was overwhelming just looking at all the different things. I had no idea how Shawn knew what he was doing, but he obviously did, because he pulled about 5 different things out, before looking up at me.

"Alright sweets,I'm going to wipe off your hands and knees first,it might sting a bit, just tell me if it gets too much and I'll stop okay?" he told, looking up at me as he pulled the wrapper off an antiseptic wipe and gently wiped it across my left knee.

"Ahh," I hissed, fresh tears coming to my eyes,my hand flying to his, stopping him from what he was doing.

"I know it hurts baby," he moved his other hand up to rest on my thigh comfortingly. "But if we don't get this all cleaned up then you risk getting an infection,who knows what sort of stuff has been on that ground, especially with Tarzan out there now,"

At the sound of his name Tarzan came running, tentatively putting one paw up on my lap.

"Aw, Tarzan,good boy, you come to look after Mummy hey, you know she's sad," he cooed,wiping my knee again. It hurt as much as the last time, but I tried to stay still and let Shawn do what he needed to.

"And I'm done," Shawn smiled five minutes later, stepping back from your hands as he gave them one last wipe.

I sighed, feeling relieved, but then I remembered he still had to deal with my side and back, and I knew that would be worse that both my hands and my knees. I'd really done a number on myself there,having landed with most of my weight in that one area.

"I think we're probably better off going to the bathroom for your side, from what I saw outside I'll need to give it a proper rinse out before I do anything with it," he spoke,causing me to groan.

"I know honey, but I promise once I've dealt with it you're all done then how about we have snuggles on the couch and other a take out?" We didn't often get to spend a truly lazy night together with both of our jobs being as crazy as they were.

Really?" I asked, smiling properly for the first time all day.

"Really," he smiled back "Work can wait till tomorrow, my poor invalid baby is more important," he pouted, causing me to laugh, as he helped me to the bathroom.

"That's my favourite sound you know," he told me as he helped me undress and get situated in the tub so he could use the detachable head to wash out the wound.

I smiled, feeling suddenly shy, even after being married for a year, and together for 4 he still had that effect on me.

He spent a few more minutes getting everything set up, towels,bandages, antiseptic wash, tweezers, before he finally turned the water on low, being careful not to get any water on the wounds he'd just dressed.

"Can you turn around for me April?" he asked, helping me to maneuver my body the way he needed it."I'm going to start washing it out now baby, there's a fair bit of dirt and crap caked in there so I'll need to give it a good rinse out. Do you wanna hold my hand?" he offered, extending the hand he wasn't using which I took immediately. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation.

As soon as the water hit it, my whole side felt like it was on fire, the tears that I had managed to hold at bay until now, flowing freely. "I know Princess," he soothed, "One more minute okay," I nodded, opening my eyes, watching as he skillfully flushed the wound. "Can you arch your back for me a bit?" he asked stopping the water momentarily. I did what he asked, leaning over, seeing for the first time just how much blood was coming from me. The bathtub had streams of red water that just seemed to keep coming.

"Shawn," I squeeked, the blood.

"It's okay, Honey,I promise you it looks way worse than it actually is," he tried to console me continuing to work on my wound. I sat there, like I had outside trying not to focus on it, but I could feel the familiar twist of my stomach as he nausea set in,waves of dizziness washing over me like the water.

"Shawn, I-Im going to be sick," I gasped, holding my bandaged hand over my mouth. He was quick to act, switching off the water immediately, and reaching for the trash can that sat next to the toilet, holding it under my chin.

"Deep breaths, April," he spoke softly,pushing some of the hair that had fallen into my eyes out the way.

"You must think I'm such a whimp," I groaned, head still over the bin as I tried and failed to take steady breaths.

"Not at all," he promised, "You're just not good with blood, lots of people are like that, hey, at least you haven't fainted," he laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I feel like I'm going to," I whispered.

"It's okay, just breathe, that's it, nice long breathes," he coached still holding the bin patiently.

Finally after five minutes of sitting like that, the feeling started to lessen and I was able to sit up again. I must have looked like a complete mess, because the look of pity on Shawn's face was ridiculous.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he placed the bin down beside him and took my hand.

I nodded still not entirely trusting myself.

"Ready to get out and I'll fix the rest up out on the couch?" he asked offering me his hand again.

I nodded again,allowing him help me out of the bath and wrap a towel around my body.

We made our way back to the loving room slowly where he deposited me onto the couch, before running back to get the things he needed from the bathroom.

"How bad is it?" I asked, as he sat down beside me.

"I've seen better I've seen worse, it's not as bad as it probably feels though," he added in sympathy.

"What do you need to do?" I asked, turning to look at him. He frowned, obviously weighing up whether to tell me or of it was better to keep me in the dark.

"I need to get this gravel outta the wound before I dress it," he answered carefully. "Why don't you turn the T.V. on while I work?" he suggested quickly when he saw my face fall. He grabbed the remote off the table and handed it to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked when the screen came on.

"Whatever you wanna watch babe, I'll be focussed on this."

I nodded,turning on Once Upon A Time, immediately being pulled into the fantasy. The story helping to distract me. He kept a hand on my good shoulder the whole time he worked, occasionally squeezing it when I let out a whimper at a particularly sore spot.

"All done," he announced as he stuck the adhesive strip down half an hour later.

"Really?" I asked, turning to see he was indeed done, already in the process of picking up all the trash, going to dispose of it safely in the bin.

When he came back he had a glass of water, a bottle of Tylenol and an ice-pack in his hands.

"Here babe, take these,it should help with some of the pain," he spoke, coming around the couch to hand them to me, before sitting down next to me.

"What's the ice-pack for?"

"For your back, it'll help to stop the bruising," he lifted me onto his lap confusing me slightly.

"Won't you be cold?" I questioned as he placed the ice-pack between my back and his chest, pulling me back

"I could never be cold with you around baby," he murmured kissing my head, leaning back into the sofa.

"Thank you for looking after me," I spoke after a few minutes of comfortable quiet in which we were both focussed on the television.

"Of course baby," he replied, running a hand gently through my scalp. "I'll always protect the people I love."

[summahsunlight]

All For You, Part 4

Rating: T

Word Count: 2010

Pairing: Poe Dameron X Pilot!Reader

Summary: Your life in the Resistance was not easy, being married to Commander Poe Dameron and a skilled pilot yourself. When you unexpectedly get pregnant, your life is forever changed. Raising a child on base is hard, but never having parents of your own as a child, you are determined to love your little girl and give her the best life. Poe is equally as devoted to you and your daughter, vowing to keep you both safe from the impending threat of the First Order.

Taglist: @thescarletknight2014​, @elmoakepoke​, @xxidontwikeitxx​, @liadamerondjarin​, @marvelofwitch​, @blushingwueen​, @april-14-blog​

Here is the next part! The taglist is still open, just let me know if you want to be added🥰Feedback is always appreciated! I love to hear from you!

Poe looked at the anticipation in the eyes of his squadron--as they waited for him to confirm what they already knew--no thanks to BB-8. He swallowed, nervously, his brown eyes traveling to you for a second. You were positively pale--then again, that could be because you were still not feeling well and had nothing to do with the fact that your secret had been revealed.  

Snap drummed his fingers on the table, catching Poe’s attention and the commander could see that the rest of the squadron was eagerly awaiting him to say something. 

Reaching underneath the table, Poe found your hand and grasped it. “Yes,” he said, slowly, calmly, “we’re having a baby--we didn’t tell you guys because we’re still wrapping our heads around it ourselves. It wasn’t like this was...ah... planned.”

“Are you... are you going to raise the baby here?” Jess asked, quietly.

“Yes,” you replied, “where else would we raise our baby?”

Karé, Snap, and Jess all exchanged glances. “Well,” Snap said, “it’s just seems to make more sense if... the baby went to live with Poe’s dad--I mean, is a base really that safe for a baby?”

Poe hadn’t told you yet, but he had taken into consideration--a lot of consideration--about having his dad take the baby. He knew this would be incredibly difficult for you, knowing that you were abandoned as a baby--but it was the safety of your child you were talking about. “We haven't really discussed it.”

You threw him a look. What did he mean by that? You had discussed it, when you told him that you were pregnant you had made it clear that you wanted to raise your baby. No where in that conversation had you discussed shipping that baby off to Yavin IV to live with Kes. “Yes, we have,” you said, annoyed. “We agreed that we’re going to raise the baby here.” 

Snap knew immediately that he’d set a fire and now desperately tried to put it out. “Ah, well, if you are going to raise the baby here--we’ll all be here to help you--anyway we can. My mom always said it takes a village to raise a child, so we’ll happily be your village.”

“If you need someone to baby-sit, we’re willing to do it,” Jess supplied.

“And if you don’t trust the droid killer--Karé and I are available.”

“Hey! A baby is different than a droid! I can take care of a baby!”

“I dunno if Poe and Y/N are going to feel comfortable leaving their baby with you, Pava.”

Jess glared at Snap and Karé; she might have reputation as being bad luck for droids, but she would never let anything hurt your baby.  Poe and you were family and thus that baby was family. “You guys are the worst.”

Poe smiled, lightheartedly. He knew that his friends would be there if you needed help with the baby--but they had important jobs within the Resistance as well. He knew that you were mad at him; he could see the seething look in your eyes when he said that you hadn’t discussed where the baby was going to live. Oh, the two of you were going to have it out once you got back to your room. “We appreciate your offer to help,” he said, looking at his friends. “But... we’re all rather busy here.”

Karé nodded. “Exactly why you need all the help you can get, Poe. We might not be parents, but we’re not stupid. We know this is going to be hard and we want to be there for you guys. You’d do the same for any of us.”

Finishing the food you had not wanted to eat to begin with, you stood, said you weren’t feeling well, and wished them all good-night. Black Squadron watched as you stormed out of the mess hall. 

“If you need a place to stay--our couch is available,” Snap said, smiling.

“Am I crazy in wanting the baby to go live with my dad?” Poe asked.

“No,” Jess said, shaking her head. “You want the baby to be safe--maybe Y/N can go with the baby to live with your dad?”

It was an idea that crossed Poe’s mind but he knew you would never go for it--you were just as dedicated to the Resistance was he was. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face. “Thanks, guys,” he said, standing up. “I’ll see you in the morning. I need to go get this ass chewing done and over with.”

As Poe walked away, Snap called out after him, “Remember! Our sofa is always available to you, Dameron!”

----

Once you were back in your quarters, you flopped down onto the bed in a sob, which caused BB-8 to perk up and ask if everything was okay. Screaming into the pillow only seemed to alarm the little droid more and he was half-way towards the door to go find Poe when you shouted at him to stop.

BB-8 turned and rolled towards you. Sitting up on the bed, you wiped your eyes. “I’m sorry, BeeBee. I’m...tired and angry and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. It’s not your fault.”

Falling back onto the pillows, you stared up at the ceiling. You knew that Poe’s heart was in the right place--wanting to send your baby to live with Kes--but at the same time you couldn’t believe that after everything you had been through, he was still thinking about it. You refused to abandon your baby like you had been abandoned. Refused. Poe was just going to have to understand that. 

“So, should I just grab my things and head to Snap’s?”

“I dunno, should you?”

Poe sighed, heavily, and rubbed a hand over his face. “Sweetheart, do you honestly think I just want to dump our baby on my dad? I hate the idea; I know how much my parents hated leaving me--but right now I cannot justify raising our child here--not with a war looming in the not so distant future.”

You sat up and glared at him. “Even after I told you how much I wanted to raise our baby--that I didn’t want to be like my parents and just leave--you still want to hand our baby off to Kes? It’s like you didn’t even listen to me, Poe.”

He licked his lips. “It’s not a decision that I take lightly. It breaks my heart to think about leaving our baby, but we need to think about what’s best for the baby--not us, sweetheart. My dad is more than willing to take the baby until this is over and we can go home.”

Tears slipped down your cheeks. “What’s best for our baby is to be raised by its parents--not left behind! I won’t do it, Poe! I won’t leave my baby! I know it’s going to be hard, I know that it’s going to change a lot for both of us! And now, you tell me you’ve already talked to your dad! How could you leave me out of decision like this, Poe?”

“Because I knew this is the way you would react,” Poe said, calmly. 

“And yet you did it anyway,” you snapped.

“I don’t want to argue. So, I’m gonna stay with Snap tonight.”

“There’s nothing to fight over. We made our decision already.”

Poe looked at you, his brown eyes intense. “Do you think this was easy for me? All I want is to keep you and the baby safe. I know I’ll never be able to convince you to walk away from the Resistance--my dad was the next best option. You and this baby are my life, sweetheart! I would give up my life for you if it meant protecting you and our baby!”

You could barely see him through all your tears. You knew how much you meant to him, how much the baby meant to him--and you knew that he would do anything for you to keep you both safe. “Please, Poe, please don’t make me give up my baby.” 

BB-8 chirped, sadly. Poe glanced at his droid and let out a loud sigh. He reached for your hands and pulled you to your feet, wrapping you into his arms. You buried your face into his chest and sobbed. You were hating how this pregnancy was messing so much with your body that you couldn’t control your emotions. His hand rubbed your back, the other cupped the back of your head--and he just let you cry. “I won’t make you give up the baby. Just promise me that if the time comes when it gets too dangerous for the baby, that you’ll take the baby to Yavin and stay with my dad.”

That seemed reasonable and you knew it was, but for whatever reason you just sobbed harder.  Poe’s arms tightened around your shaking body. “Maybe we should have asked Doctor Kalonia about giving you something for your mood swings,” he teased, chuckling softly. 

“Not funny!” you snapped into his chest. “I hate this! I hate crying all the time! And I hate being angry and scared and... I just hate this! I hate feeling like I don’t have control of anything right now!”

“I know, baby,” he said, gently. His lips brushed against your cheek. “Does it help to know that I love you no matter what kind of mood you throw at me?”

You sniffled. “It helps a little.”

Poe kissed your cheek again. “I love you; no matter what.”

Some days you felt like you didn't deserve him; today was one of those days. He was just trying to take care of you and the baby and you had gotten furious at him. Now, you were crying in his arms and he still loved you. 

Gently he lifted you off the floor and carried you to the bed, softly laying you there. Pulling off your boots, Poe smiled at you. “I think it’s time for you to get some sleep, babe. Obviously you’re tired and stressed--that isn’t good for the baby.”

“Do...do you forgive me for all the awful things I said?”

“Already forgotten, sweetheart.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because--you were the only girl to put up with me.”

Half giggling, half crying still, you pushed him away playfully. You had been painfully shy at flight school--Poe had pulled you from that shell, he had befriended you before he fell in love with you. Although, he would often tell you that it was love at first sight for him. “Not true. Lots of girls would have put up with you if meant getting a date with you.”

Poe cocked a smile. “True,” he said, leaning forward and kissing you. “I was madly in love with you though from the moment I laid eyes on you. Drove my roommate crazy. Besides making me the happiest guy on campus when you agreed to a date--you made him the happiest guy because he didn’t have to listen to me rant on and on about how much I wanted to ask you out.”

“I remember him... he was cute.”

“He’s also married, now. Him and his husband are very happy.”

Yawning, you laughed.  Poe stroked your cheek with his thumb and coaxed you to fall asleep. “Are you still going to stay with Snap?” you asked him, watching him, lazily.

Sighing, Poe continued to trace circles in your cheek with his thumb. “If you want me too.”

Shaking you head, you started to drift off. “I want you to stay. I’m not...I’m not angry anymore.”

“I have reports to finish. I won’t keep you up?”

“No, you won’t keep me up.”

Poe chuckled as you fell fast asleep.  Getting up off the bed, he tucked the blankets around and went to the desk to complete his reports. And you were right, his working didn’t wake you.

[pinkpeonyprincessblog]

I'll Always Protect the People I Love

I really couldn't tell you how it happened, one minute I was hanging up washing on the line and the next I was on the ground in a load of pain. It had been one of those days, you know the ones where everything goes wrong? First I woke up late and missed an important virtual meeting,then I somehow managed to knock over a massive glass of water,the contents going absolutely everywhere. All over my bedside table, my phone (luckily it was waterproof) and several important pieces of paper which I'd been reading for the very meeting I had missed.

Maybe this was the universe's way of telling me I shouldn't have even bothered with today? Maybe I'd have been better if I had stayed in bed. One thing was for sure, I'd be in less pain right now.The only good thing was that my husband who usually worked as a doctor in the local hospital's E.D had taken an annual leave day to get the filing done which he'd gotten behind on.

"Crap," I hissed as I lifted my arm to inspect the massive scrape that had resulted from the fall.

Everything hurt, my arm, my legs which I could see from the droplets of blood falling onto the concrete had also copped a nasty whack, even my side hurt. I could feel myself getting nauseous at the sight of the blood, I'd never been any good at anything to do with medical stuff, it just made me want to vomit. What Shawn got from it, I wasn't sure, but he was passinate about medicine and was always so good. Not only at solving the actual issue at hand, but at making connections with his patients,at gaining their trust.

I tried to stay calm, to take a few deep breaths, but I could feel my composure crumbling as all the day's events caught up to me.

"Shawn!" I called out,voice shaking with the effort of trying to hold back tears. "Shawn," I shouted a little louder when there was no response. Finally I was met with the sound of his footsteps on the stairs.

"April, what's the matter, I was in the middle of a -" he stopped dead in the middle of the yard when he saw me.

"What happened?" he asked, recovering his composure quickly and rushing over to me.

" I tripped," I sniffled, as he bent down,noticing the blood on my hands and knees, and the way I was holding my aching side.

"I can see that baby," he spoke softly, lifting the hem of my dress up just enough to see how far up the wound was.

"This looks nasty and sore," he commented, pouting,causing me to whimper. That was the last thing I wanted to hear, especially from him,someone who spent his days seeing gross wounds and abbrassions.

"It hurts," I cried reaching for him out of habit,only to have my hands sting in protest. I couldn't help the tears that came steadily now, rolling down my face and clouding my vision.

"Oh, honey, please don't cry," he shushed me, reaching up to wipe them away. "It's okay, I'll fix you up, I promise,"

"I'm sorry for being a cry-baby," I muttered scrubbing at my tears with the back of my hand.

"You're not a cry-baby Honey,you've just had a tough day is all," he replied,pressing a kiss to my forehead. I sat there for a minute forgetting the pain,just resting my head against his chest, letting him hold me. He was the one person in the world, who could always make things better.

"Alright Princess, do you think you can stand up?" he asked,taking hold of my upper arms, supporting most of my weight. I stood slowly,my entire body felt as if it was simultaneously being set on fire and hit by a truck.

We made our way inside. Slowly. Incredibly slowly, but Shawn was patient as I hobbled along beside him.

"Here, sit down here," he told me, helping me onto one of the dining room chairs.

"But what about the blood?" I pointed to the blood which was still flowing slowly from several of the wounds.

"It's okay, the chairs can be cleaned," he replied clearly unphased."I'm going to get the first aid kit, stay there," he told me.

"Not like I can go anywhere," I retorted making him laughed as he ran off in the direction of the bathroom.

He came running back less than a minute later, "I'm okay Shawn," I laughed,going to lean back in the chair, but the contact caused the grazes on my back to sting furiously. "Ah," I hissed, leaning forward again.

"Yeah, you look fine," Shawn sassed back, placing the large box of medical supplies on the ground and opening it. It was overwhelming just looking at all the different things. I had no idea how Shawn knew what he was doing, but he obviously did, because he pulled about 5 different things out, before looking up at me.

"Alright sweets,I'm going to wipe off your hands and knees first,it might sting a bit, just tell me if it gets too much and I'll stop okay?" he told, looking up at me as he pulled the wrapper off an antiseptic wipe and gently wiped it across my left knee.

"Ahh," I hissed, fresh tears coming to my eyes,my hand flying to his, stopping him from what he was doing.

"I know it hurts baby," he moved his other hand up to rest on my thigh comfortingly. "But if we don't get this all cleaned up then you risk getting an infection,who knows what sort of stuff has been on that ground, especially with Tarzan out there now,"

At the sound of his name Tarzan came running, tentatively putting one paw up on my lap.

"Aw, Tarzan,good boy, you come to look after Mummy hey, you know she's sad," he cooed,wiping my knee again. It hurt as much as the last time, but I tried to stay still and let Shawn do what he needed to.

"And I'm done," Shawn smiled five minutes later, stepping back from your hands as he gave them one last wipe.

I sighed, feeling relieved, but then I remembered he still had to deal with my side and back, and I knew that would be worse that both my hands and my knees. I'd really done a number on myself there,having landed with most of my weight in that one area.

"I think we're probably better off going to the bathroom for your side, from what I saw outside I'll need to give it a proper rinse out before I do anything with it," he spoke,causing me to groan.

"I know honey, but I promise once I've dealt with it you're all done then how about we have snuggles on the couch and other a take out?" We didn't often get to spend a truly lazy night together with both of our jobs being as crazy as they were.

Really?" I asked, smiling properly for the first time all day.

"Really," he smiled back "Work can wait till tomorrow, my poor invalid baby is more important," he pouted, causing me to laugh, as he helped me to the bathroom.

"That's my favourite sound you know," he told me as he helped me undress and get situated in the tub so he could use the detachable head to wash out the wound.

I smiled, feeling suddenly shy, even after being married for a year, and together for 4 he still had that effect on me.

He spent a few more minutes getting everything set up, towels,bandages, antiseptic wash, tweezers, before he finally turned the water on low, being careful not to get any water on the wounds he'd just dressed.

"Can you turn around for me April?" he asked, helping me to maneuver my body the way he needed it."I'm going to start washing it out now baby, there's a fair bit of dirt and crap caked in there so I'll need to give it a good rinse out. Do you wanna hold my hand?" he offered, extending the hand he wasn't using which I took immediately. "Ready?" he asked. I nodded squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation.

As soon as the water hit it, my whole side felt like it was on fire, the tears that I had managed to hold at bay until now, flowing freely. "I know Princess," he soothed, "One more minute okay," I nodded, opening my eyes, watching as he skillfully flushed the wound. "Can you arch your back for me a bit?" he asked stopping the water momentarily. I did what he asked, leaning over, seeing for the first time just how much blood was coming from me. The bathtub had streams of red water that just seemed to keep coming.

"Shawn," I squeeked, the blood.

"It's okay, Honey,I promise you it looks way worse than it actually is," he tried to console me continuing to work on my wound. I sat there, like I had outside trying not to focus on it, but I could feel the familiar twist of my stomach as he nausea set in,waves of dizziness washing over me like the water.

"Shawn, I-Im going to be sick," I gasped, holding my bandaged hand over my mouth. He was quick to act, switching off the water immediately, and reaching for the trash can that sat next to the toilet, holding it under my chin.

"Deep breaths, April," he spoke softly,pushing some of the hair that had fallen into my eyes out the way.

"You must think I'm such a whimp," I groaned, head still over the bin as I tried and failed to take steady breaths.

"Not at all," he promised, "You're just not good with blood, lots of people are like that, hey, at least you haven't fainted," he laughed trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I feel like I'm going to," I whispered.

"It's okay, just breathe, that's it, nice long breathes," he coached still holding the bin patiently.

Finally after five minutes of sitting like that, the feeling started to lessen and I was able to sit up again. I must have looked like a complete mess, because the look of pity on Shawn's face was ridiculous.

"Feeling better?" he asked as he placed the bin down beside him and took my hand.

I nodded still not entirely trusting myself.

"Ready to get out and I'll fix the rest up out on the couch?" he asked offering me his hand again.

I nodded again,allowing him help me out of the bath and wrap a towel around my body.

We made our way back to the loving room slowly where he deposited me onto the couch, before running back to get the things he needed from the bathroom.

"How bad is it?" I asked, as he sat down beside me.

"I've seen better I've seen worse, it's not as bad as it probably feels though," he added in sympathy.

"What do you need to do?" I asked, turning to look at him. He frowned, obviously weighing up whether to tell me or of it was better to keep me in the dark.

"I need to get this gravel outta the wound before I dress it," he answered carefully. "Why don't you turn the T.V. on while I work?" he suggested quickly when he saw my face fall. He grabbed the remote off the table and handed it to me.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked when the screen came on.

"Whatever you wanna watch babe, I'll be focussed on this."

I nodded,turning on Once Upon A Time, immediately being pulled into the fantasy. The story helping to distract me. He kept a hand on my good shoulder the whole time he worked, occasionally squeezing it when I let out a whimper at a particularly sore spot.

"All done," he announced as he stuck the adhesive strip down half an hour later.

"Really?" I asked, turning to see he was indeed done, already in the process of picking up all the trash, going to dispose of it safely in the bin.

When he came back he had a glass of water, a bottle of Tylenol and an ice-pack in his hands.

"Here babe, take these,it should help with some of the pain," he spoke, coming around the couch to hand them to me, before sitting down next to me.

"What's the ice-pack for?"

"For your back, it'll help to stop the bruising," he lifted me onto his lap confusing me slightly.

"Won't you be cold?" I questioned as he placed the ice-pack between my back and his chest, pulling me back

"I could never be cold with you around baby," he murmured kissing my head, leaning back into the sofa.

"Thank you for looking after me," I spoke after a few minutes of comfortable quiet in which we were both focussed on the television.

"Of course baby," he replied, running a hand gently through my scalp. "I'll always protect the people I love."

[underoossss]

Dancing Under the Rain - H.O.

CHAPTER 2  [previous chapter]

pairing: detective!Haz x reader 

warnings: nothing really in this one, its mostly fluff but you’ll hate me soon

AN: Hello everyone! I’m back with a new chapter and I hope you like it! This is the chapter that prompted me to keep writing the story and post it again. Let me know your thoughts! 

---- 

--- August 15th  ----

When Harrison wakes up, there’s sunshine peeking through the window blinds and the air smells like coffee. He yawns and scoots closer to the left side of the bed, already knowing that you aren’t lying there anymore. Right, online lecture for the summer Intro to Psychology class. A smile takes over Harrison’s face –depending on the time he is either going to find you teaching at your home office or sitting on the kitchen counter looking at the sea with a cup of coffee in your hand. Both sights warm his body from his chest all the way down to his toes, giving him a sense of calm and happiness, he had long forgotten how to feel. He had been so used to being alone, that loneliness had made him numb to all other feelings. Until the first moment the two of you met and flipped the feelings switch to full force and given your late-night conversations in bed, the same happened to you.

A bright 9:15 greets him when he glances towards the digital clock on the nightstand, he’s not used to sleeping past 8 am but it was his day off. You’ll be done teaching your intro to psychology lecture soon, so Harrison decides to get up. He sits on the edge of the bed and stretches his arms upwards before standing and starting to make the bed. Fixing the pillows and sheet goes first, then the comforter on top and finally the many navy-blue decorative pillows you move to the armchair sitting in the corner of the bedroom every night. It’s become a routine of sorts for Harrison –at least on the days he gets to sleep in and doesn’t have to rush to the office before you’re completely awake. Harrison smiles as his mind pictures your half-asleep pouts as you pull him back to bed, trying to argue a case for five more minutes. There’s a 40-60 chance he’ll be convinced and hold you for a little bit longer. He really had it bad.

Shaking his head, Harrison goes to the bathroom where he pees, washes his hands and face and brushes his teeth before making his way to the kitchen. There’s a tray of croissants on the countertop with a post-it note next to it: 12 minutes @ 350F, its signed with a heart to which Harrison smiles. He starts preheating the oven and putting water to boil, and while he waits for that, he puts ground coffee in the French press. A couple of minutes later the water is ready so he pours it into the press and gets the croissants inside the oven, setting a timer so they don’t burn. Harrison decides to play some music, not too loud as you were still teaching, while he got the rest of breakfast ready. Strawberries, blueberries and watermelon are placed on the counter as well as 4 eggs, apricot jam and cheese for the croissants. He hums to himself as he gets a mixing bowl and a pan ready for the scrambled eggs and plates for the rest of the food. Even though you’ve lived together for only two months, he’s never felt more at home anywhere else ­–not even in his own house– and your first kiss, which happened 5 months ago, feels like it was just yesterday.

---- 5 months before -----

The sun has already set by the time you two leave Mrs. Pacelli’s restaurant after what was probably one of the best days in Harrison’s life. The two of you had talked all through supper, shifting from ridiculous conversations to more serious and personal ones with ease in between mouthfuls of pasta for him and lasagna for you. He’d enjoyed the way you had held hands on top of the table, his thumb absently caressing your knuckles as your eyes lighted up when you talked about the classes you taught in the winter semester. You were so passionate about helping and teaching your students and it was beautiful to see – if Harrison’s professors while in university had a third of your passion, he’s sure he would have enjoyed his classes more. He had listened to you talk about your family – and noticed the way you were a bit more relaxed when talking about your past now that he knew about your brother, Bryan.

That had really thrown him off at the beach, the coincidence of what had happed to your family and the family his department hadn’t been able to help. It was like his mind shut down right then and his guilt, the one that he carries with him like a heavy backpack, had doubled. That case was one of his biggest regrets, he should have pushed harder and tried to help more but he wasn’t in the same position he was at the moment. The shitty detective was born then, the self-deprecating way of referring to himself as a reminder of his failure to avoid doing the same once again. Knowing that you also had no answers about your brother’s death and that his killer was never caught had crushed his heart, he couldn’t imagine the pain you still have with you but he’s sure it’s no less than the one the family he let down showed the day he gave them the news. All his hopes had been crushed, but you had built them back up once you literally shook some sense into him. “I think we’re both done facing them alone,” you had said, and his demeanor had crumbled. There you were, the kindest soul he had met, pressing your forehead against his, crying with him as you offered your broken heart and waiting for him to give you his own broken one. It was you, how could he not? He was sure you’re who he’s been looking for all his life.  

The air is chilly but not enough to make you shiver as April is just a week away, Harrison holds you close to his side anyways. “I didn’t know you had such a sweet tooth.” You chuckled, leaning your head against his shoulder. Harrison had ordered the tiramisu with chocolate ice cream on the side for dessert, claiming it was the best combo, which was the case. “Actually, I did know. You’re always getting double chocolate cookies when you visit the café.”

“I do have a sweet tooth, but only with my favorite desserts.” Harrison smiles.

“Hmm… well I’m honored.” You look up at him with a teasing smile and bright eyes, and he really wants to kiss you. “Thank you, Harrison.”

 Harrison, he’s just Harrison now, not the detective but something else, something better.

His heart melts at the look in your eyes and he can’t keep the fondness he’s feeling from showing in his. “No need to thank me, love.”

The two of you walk by your café in silence as well as the next block over and up the hill towards your house. Harrison takes in the happy look on your face, your relaxed shoulders and how you’re not fidgeting around him. You’re both past nerves –baring your most painful secrets by the beach can do that sometimes. He catches two women walking their babies on the other side of the street give both of you odd looks, and it reminds him of the many eyes that were on you during dinner. Small town, big gossip. His back muscles tense.

“I’m sorry about all the staring during dinner.” Harrison says quietly into the night and you laugh softly.

“You’re apologizing for staring at me during our date?” You shake your head. “Harrison, you can stare at me, it’s actually nice to know you like what you see.”

Harrison presses a kiss on your temple and shakes his head. “No, not my staring, the other people at the restaurant and their whispering. They’re probably wondering how I managed to date you on their group chats.”

“I love this town, but they do little else than talk about whatever or whomever they see.” You shake you head as you both reach your front yard and make your way to your front door. “I told you Harrison, I want this, you. Over at the beach you said that’s what you wanted too, unless that changed over dinner?” You smile at Harrison and his heart skips a beat, it’s a teasing smile but he can see some worry in your eyes, so he is quick to answer.

“No, it hasn’t, at all. I just worry that it will make you uncomfortable.” He lets go of your left hand, which he was holding, to bring you closer to him by the waist.

“Then screw what people think.” You shake your head again and smile when Harrison’s eyebrows move up in surprise before leaning up and kissing him.

Your arms go around his neck at the same time Harrison holds you closer with his other arm and leans down. Your lips move against his in a soft caress. Considering hold long you’ve both admittedly wanted to do this, the kiss is gentle and steady, and Harrison wants to draw out every possible second of this first of many kisses. Your fingers wander from his neck to the short curls on the back of his head, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t make him weak in the knees for a second. Both your chests are pressed together, so he can hear that his heart isn’t the only one beating like crazy and the sigh that leaves your lips when he holds you tighter to his chest makes him smile, causing both of you to break apart. Your lips have been reddened by the kiss and frame a small smile on your face so Harrison, not helping himself, leans in again and presses three soft kisses on them before looking into your eyes.

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners and heart so full it could burst at any moment. “Wow.” Is all he can say. “That was…”

“So worth the wait.” You shake your head and bite your lip. “I think I speak for both of us when I say that, I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

“Definitely.” Harrison chuckles, his right hand coming up to cup your cheek. “Thank you, for today.” He whispers and you lean into his touch.

You shrug your shoulders, always shying away from compliments. “Well thank you, I haven’t had such a good time in a while.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Harrison says, letting you go and taking a step back, his hand lingers on your cheek just a little bit longer before falling back to his side. “Good night, Y/N.”

You nod your head, “Good night, Harrison. You know where I’ll be.”

Harrison chuckles and nods his head as well, waiting for you to walk to your front door before starting to walk away. He can’t contain the smile that’s on his face, it’s definitely making his cheeks hurt, as he’s not used to smiling so often. Not since a while ago. It’s only become a recurring thing since he met you. His ray of sunshine in a previously grey life, with the warmest smile that always reminds him of the first sip of good coffee in the morning. He’s gone, one hundred percent gone on you and he can’t even begin to believe his luck. Not 10 seconds pass after he starts walking when he turns around and runs back to you. He’s surprised to also see you walking back to him before you share another kiss.

This one is different than the one before, not drawing out the moment anymore but enjoying that this can happen now. I can kiss you, it seemed to say, I can kiss you any time I want, I like you so much. Harrison feels like his floating but his hands on your cheeks keep him grounded and so does your tongue grazing his bottom lip, letting him know it’s all amazingly real.

“I can’t believe I almost left without a goodnight kiss.” You whisper. “I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”

Harrison laughs and nods, “Neither could I.” When you laugh at his reply and kiss him again, he knows this is one of the best decisions he’s made in his life.

----Present Day-----

The croissants are cooling on the counter when Harrison feels you wrap your arms around his waist while he finishes up the scrambled eggs. They’re firm and cooked through – the two of you hated runny and soft eggs, something about the texture was just not appetizing at all.

“Good morning.” You mumble against the soft cotton of his t-shirt and rest your cheek against his back. Harrison feels you lean into him, and he smiles.

“Good morning, love. How was your lecture?” Harrison turns off the stove and sets the pan on the counter so he can turn around to face you. His arms wrap themselves around your waist and he leans down to kiss your lips. You walk backwards until you’re leaning against the kitchen island and let yourself melt in Harrison’s arms as his lips caress yours, humming when they move to kiss your jaw and stop with one on your cheek.

Your eyes are glazed over and your smile is relaxed as you look up at him and it’s Harrison that tries not to melt. “The lecture was as good, well… as good as it can be when it starts at 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday. The summer schedule is brutal.”

“Yeah, whoever planned that is messed up.” Harrison scrunches up his nose. “I’m sure you make up for the ungodly hour of the lecture with your teaching though, I wouldn’t mind them if you were my professor.”

“I think you’re biased.” You wink at him before running a hand through his hair, Harrison can’t help closing his eyes. “Thank you for making breakfast, love. Is there something I can help with?”

Your question makes him open his eyes, you’re looking at the plates on the kitchen island and the food ready to be plated. “You can get the coffee to the balcony, it’s nice out so I thought we could have an outdoor breakfast.”

“You got it, handsome.” You stand on the tip of your toes to peck his lips and get two mugs before walking towards the French press. Harrison finally has a chance to really look at you that morning. White t-shirt tucked into a long sky-blue skirt with tiny white flowers printed on it and simple black sandals. You were stunning and he was damn lucky.

Smiling, Harrison puts a croissant on each plate next to the fruit he washed and sliced and finishes it off with the scrambled eggs on the side. The jam and butter, as well as the cutlery are already out on the balcony, so he gets both plates and joins you outside. “You look gorgeous.” Harrison says before he places a kiss on your cheek when he sets your plate in front of you.

“Thank you honey. This looks delicious, specially the croissants.” You duck your face and smile. “And so do you by the way, your morning hair is sexy.”

Harrison laughs and shrugs before taking the seat opposite yours. “I think watching Bake Off helped me avoid burning them.”

You nod your head in agreement. “Bake Off is basically what prompted me to bake so I have no doubt they helped you.” With that the two of you dig in, spreading apricot jam on the croissant and eating the fruit on the plate while you talked.

“I have 3 scheduled meetings with my students this weekend, everyone is panicking about the midterm on Tuesday.” You bring a piece of strawberry to your mouth and chew on it, “I’ve told them a million times I’m not a monster.”

Harrison takes a sip of his coffee and shakes his head. “Every test is scary though, I used to hate them.” He bites onto his almost finished croissant again, the flaky pastry falling onto the plate underneath. “Do you want me to drive with you to Cambridge on Tuesday? I don’t mind.”

He knows how hard it is for you to drive back to a place where so many good and bad memories come from, not to mention all the stares and the whispers. He’d been there with you a couple months back for your brother’s death anniversary and he’d felt so protective when he saw just how bad all the stares were. Look away, don’t you have anything else to do? Harrison had wanted to yell, but he settled for holding your hand and letting you take your time when you visited the graveyard. There have been good days and bad days when it comes to your mood, and he’s always made sure to give you all the space that you need during the bad ones. You stay in bed during those ones, or out in the balcony, and Harrison is always there waiting when you come up to him and say I think I’m ready for a hug now.

You shake your head no and sip your coffee, breakfast finished in front of you. “No, it’s alright. I’m just going to the campus and back, I don’t want to keep you from work just for that, someone might need help.”

Harrison smiles at you and the adorable way you squint your eyes at the sun, always so caring and so brave. His heart swells with love for you. It’s unlikely that anyone would need help, considering how uneventful the last 4 months have been –which was great, specially taking into account what the town went through during the last case. There’s only been minor cases here and there, land disputes between some families and cattle theft but no murders, no mysteries. Harrison has been helping the neighbor town, Diep, after they heard about him solving the Mensen murder. Sometimes they need an extra pair of eyes for a case and since nothing was going on in Dewitt, he left his assistant DI in charge before lending a hand.

“Alright, if you’re sure.” He nods his head, “Are things crazy with the semester being halfway done?”

You nod and take another sip of coffee, leaning back on your chair. “I have so many papers to mark, that’s why I prefer smaller groups.” Running a hand through your hair you chuckle to yourself, “And yes, I also have been procrastinating.”

Harrison laughs and holds his hands up, “I didn’t say anything!”

“I know you were going to.” You wink at him and glance at your watch. “I’m going to procrastinate a little more though and do the dishes while you change, then we can head down to the café.”

“Sounds good, beautiful.” Harrison nods, getting up and placing a kiss on your lips. He ignores your protests when he starts to pick up some plates and helps you carry everything back to the kitchen before heading to the en-suite in your bedroom.

After a shower and shaving, he moves to the closet where he picks a white shirt and brown pants which he promptly puts on before grabbing ankle socks and his white sneakers. Harrison feels his chest swell as he sits down on the bed and looks at your clothes next to his, it seems surreal that you live together now. It sure had prompted many looks and gossip in Dewitt but with happiness like the both of you were experiencing, it didn’t bother him. Shaking his head but keeping the smile on his face, Harrison puts on his socks and shoes before heading back to the bathroom where he fixes his hair and puts on deodorant and cologne. Once he is all ready to go, he makes sure to grab his phone, car keys, home keys and wallet before joining you out on the balcony again.

He leans on the doorframe for a second before actually going outside though, taking in how lovely you look lounging in the sun. You’ve got your laptop in front of you, where you’re probably scanning something lecture related, your skirt is moving with the wind and so is your hair. You’re absolutely breathtaking, and Harrison realizes that it’s become a thing for him to stand in the doorway completely in awe of you before you catch him staring. It’s happened at the café before you started dating and it just happened again when you look up from your laptop screen and smile. Harrison can feel his ears burn as he smiles back and walks towards you.

“Ready to go?”

You nod your head, “Give me a second, honey.” You shut your laptop closed and place it inside your tote bag, then grab a binder and try to stuff it in there too. Try being the key word here, as it is too big for the purse and you end up carrying it on your arms. “All ready!”

Harrison takes your outstretched hand in his, places a quick kiss on your knuckles before the two of you walk back to the house and out to Harrison’s car. He opens the door for you before going to the driver’s seat and starting the car once you’re both settled. It’s not a long drive but Harrison wants to enjoy his day off, he might offer you to go for a drive when you’re on your break. It’d be nice to get away for a bit, maybe park the car somewhere overlooking the water to relax to the sound of the waves.

You open the door and flip the Closed sign to the Open side at 10:25 and set your purse on your usual table once you step inside. The two of you greet the two summer employees —both students who love to bake and were looking for a summer job— before you go to the back of the front counter to start grinding some coffee beans and Harrison sits down on an empty chair at your table. He takes a deep breath, welcoming the beautiful smell of fresh coffee you’re making and fresh pastries coming from the kitchen. He smiles to himself as he sees you move around the espresso machine and the bookshop on the right side of the café, getting everything ready for your customers. He remembers coming here every day while he worked the Mensen murder, your smile when you greeted him was the highlight of his day, as was your kindness and easy conversation. You look at peace, focused but relaxed as you do what you love —besides teaching of course. He hopes your trip to Cambridge on Tuesday goes well; he’s always admired how strong you are for going back to a place that gives you so many painful memories. Harrison can’t blame you for your gloomy mood whenever you come back from those trips, he just wishes there was something he could do to make it better.

After a couple minutes you approach the table, set an earl grey tea in front him, give him a short kiss and sit on the chair in front of him with a cup of coffee on your hands. Harrison thanks you as you take your computer out of your bag, power it up and open the binder holding all the class’ assignments. He’s about to ask you about the drive during lunch time when his phone rings.

Harrison glances down at the caller and sees it’s DI Mullins, from Diep. “DI Osterfield speaking.”

“Detective, sorry to call you today. The station informed me it was your day off but there has been an incident over here in Diep and some information has resurfaced. We might have a lead that will open a Pandora box of a case, but we need another set of eyes to look at it before we can confirm this lead.” Mullins sounds exhausted but there is urgency and anxiousness in his voice.

Harrison frowns, whatever happened has shaken him up pretty badly. “What happened?”

“I think it’s better if I tell you in person. Can you and your team come over as soon as you can?” The nervous undertone places a feeling of dread in Harrison’s stomach.

“I’ll be right over.” He nods, even though Mullins can’t see him. “Let me gather my team and we’ll head there.”

You look up and Harrison knows you can see the concern on his face; you reach out a hand across the table. “Harrison, is everything alright?”

He takes your hand and sets his phone down. “I’m not sure, only that DI Mullins needs help with a case it Diep. It sounds serious.” Harrison frowns again, remembering his plans for lunch. “I’m sorry love, I know it was my day off and we-”

“Honey, it’s fine, go help them.” You squeeze his hand and give him a reassuring smile and a nod.

Harrison takes a deep breath and lets it out before standing up. He moves towards you and gently cups your cheeks on his hands, he leans down and places a lingering kiss on your lips. He keeps your foreheads touching for a brief moment before whispering, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Your breath mingles with his. “Be careful okay?”

Harrison nods. “I promise.”

Then, with a kiss to your forehead he steps back, takes his phone from the table and heads out of the café. Dread is bubbling in the pit of his stomach for some reason, something about Mullins tone and his reluctance to say anything else on the phone has left him uneasy. As he gets in the car and speed dials his office, he can’t help feeling like something was about to begin after 4 months of quiet.

---

tagging some beautiful beans who I think would like this: @once-upon-a-storyy @peeterparkr @angelhaz11 @hollandharrison

[macaronsforchat]

Adrinette April Day 26 - Sick Day

@adrinetteapril

read on ao3!

Adrien was only slightly surprised when Marinette flew in through his window. She walked over and closed the window after herself, activating the automatic blinds and waiting until it was dark to detransform. The pink flash of light lit up the room, and Adrien hit the light switch to see her smiling face.

“Hey there,” he smiled, watching her move over to him. He walked a few paces to meet her halfway, holding his arms out for a hug. She stood on her tiptoes, holding his face and pulling him down into a short kiss. He blinked in surprise, blushing.

“What was that for?” he asked, looking down at her bright eyes. She seemed to be glowing, and it made him want to feel as happy as she did.

“I missed you,” she spoke, blinking up at him cutely. It only made him blush more, his heart feeling tight. Usually they teased one another when they met at night like this, having seen each other at school during the day, but Adrien didn’t feel the urge to discount her statement at all.

“I missed you too,” he said truthfully, having wanted to see her blue eyes up close all day. She gave him a warm smile, moving to hug him tightly around his torso.

“You’re a dork,” she mumbled against his chest, and he let his arms wrap around her. He relished in her gentle warmth, letting the feeling spread throughout his whole body as he held her close. He saw Tikki and Plagg flying around the room, eventually settling on the railing on the second floor to watch the two of them.

“Well, what does the dork’s girlfriend want to do tonight?” he asked, a little disappointed when she pulled away so soon. She pursed her lips in thought, holding up a bag she brought.

“I have that homework you wanted to work on together, I have my Switch, I have knitting I could do,” she listed, glancing up at him. He weighed the options, looking around his room briefly.

“Is that homework due tomorrow?” he wondered, and she nodded, taking it out and looking it over.

“It shouldn’t take us too long,” she said, gauging his expression. He shrugged, and she smiled, setting her bag on the couch and running over to his bed to jump onto it and land on her back. He watched her and laughed, grabbing his homework from his desk and joining her to sit on the bed.

They worked on their homework for a while, trying to stay focused but getting into one pillow fight and two tickle attacks along the way. Adrien loved the face she made when she wanted to get something done but couldn’t keep her laughter in, so despite how long it took them to finish, seeing that face made it worthwhile.

“What now?” he asked as he put his homework away, but Marinette was already grabbing something from her bag.

“Can I show you the new outfit I made in Animal Crossing?” she wondered, holding up her Switch. He chuckled, nodding.

“Of course, princess,” he smiled, settling into the couch. As he waited for her to come over, he coughed suddenly, surprising the both of them.

“Are you getting sick?” she asked, pressing a gentle hand to his forehead.

“I have been feeling a little under the weather,” he offered as she sat down next to him. “I should have mentioned that before you came over. I’m sorry,” he said, looking at her. She looked at him thoughtfully, shrugging and then leaning over and pressing a softer kiss to his lips, letting herself linger close to him for a moment.

“I don’t mind,” she spoke softly, turning back to her game with a smirk. Adrien’s heart was racing, his face red once more. She was going to drive him truly crazy, and something told him that she would be proud of doing so.

They played Animal Crossing for a while, the kwamis coming over to watch and to commentate. Sooner or later, Marinette’s head ended up in his lap. He could tell she was pretty worn out from the day and from the early morning Akuma attack, and he was sufficiently tired himself. He yawned once, and she looked away from the game, watching him.

“Wanna get some rest?” she asked, her blue eyes gazing into his own. He looked down at her, once again in awe of the beautiful girl that he was so lucky to call his girlfriend. Her hair had fallen out of its bun, unraveling across his thighs, and it was messy in the cutest way possible. She was already wearing her pajamas, her pink shirt sliding off her shoulder slightly and riding up to show her midriff. Her shorts were almost too short, but then again, Adrien’s Ladybug pajamas were just as blush-inducing.

“I think so,” he spoke softly, seeing the gentle blush settling into her cheeks. She’d noticed his eyes running over her, and he blushed right back.

“A-ah, sorry!” he exclaimed, seeing her wide eyes. “I was just gonna tell you that, uh, it’s almost a shame to go to bed,” he spoke, blushing at his pause in the sentence and what it wanted to imply. “I mean, because you look really pretty, and I could look at you forever,” he said, still sounding like an idiot in his own mind. It was hard to say things eloquently around her, his head getting fuzzy when her beautiful presence was so close.

“Thank you,” she replied, giving him a shy smile. He smiled back, and they both switched off their games. He laid a hand on her head, gently stroking her soft hair.

“You should probably head back,” he told her, but she pouted almost immediately.

“No way,” she said stubbornly, and he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “If I’m gonna get sick, it’s already gonna happen.” He eyed her, seeing the adamance in her eyes. He ran his fingers through the length of her hair, nodding.

“You’re probably right,” he relented, seeing her get excited. She sat up and hugged him, kissing his cheek and putting her things away so that she would be able to leave first thing in the morning.

Adrien turned off the lights and slid under his covers in bed, waiting for her as she brushed her teeth in the bathroom. She walked over after a few minutes, yawning and stretching, climbing into the other side of the bed.

“Sorry to always be taking your side of the bed, Plagg,” she spoke quietly, and Plagg flew up towards the two of them.

“No worries, Marinette,” he smiled, flying away to find a comfortable spot near Tikki. Adrien smiled, thinking about how Marinette brought out a softer side of Plagg and of himself.

Adrien and Marinette laid there for a few moments, facing each other.

“Thank you for letting me come over,” she whispered, and he smiled, reaching out to find her hand.

“As long as we don’t get caught, you’re always welcome,” he whispered back, hearing her move closer. He could feel her gentle breath on his lips, feeling his heart pick up once more. He let go of her hand, reaching up to gently stroke her cheek, rubbing a thumb across her bottom lip before gently kissing her once more.

It was softer and slower than before. The way Marinette kissed him in return made his heart hurt, and he almost felt like he couldn’t breathe.

After a few moments, she let their lips part, and he could feel the heat on her face under his palm. He wished he was able to see her flushed expression, knowing it would make his heart race even faster.

She moved closer again, curling against his chest, resting her forehead there. He held her shoulders, keeping her safe in his arms.

“Goodnight, Adrien,” she whispered, barely audible. He smiled, letting his eyes fall closed.

“Goodnight, Marinette,” he replied in a whisper, falling asleep with the girl he loved more than anything in his arms.

Adrien’s alarm clock sounded off too soon it seemed, but they both awoke as the first traces of sunlight lit up the Paris skyline. Adrien had ended up on his back, and Marinette was splayed out across his chest, her sleepy face lifting to meet his.

“Good morning,” she spoke, sitting up and stretching. Adrien found himself wishing they could stay in bed all day cuddled up with each other, his body instantly feeling cold as she left his arms.

He tried to reply, no sound coming out of his throat. His throat was aching, and as he looked to Marinette, he realized they were probably both sick. She sneezed and confirmed his thoughts, looking at him and laughing a little.

“Guess we’re taking a sick day today,” she said hoarsely, sniffling. Adrien sighed out, nodding.

Marinette moved to get out of bed, but Adrien caught her hand, pulling her back against him and holding her there. She giggled in his arms, and it was the most wonderful noise he’d ever heard.

~~~~~

thank you all for reading! sorry im not the best at writing kisses. im sure it’s easier when youve had experience lol

stay tuned for the rest of this months prompts, and then on into marichat may! thank you all for so much love and support. it means so so much to me <3

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Juliet

Writing Blog URL(s): @wonderlustlucas

Nationality: American

Languages: English, beginner level French, teeny tiny bit of Korean

Star Sign: Virgo

MBTI: ISFJ-T

Favorite color: Pastel yellow

Favorite food: My mom’s Sunday gravy

Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle (The Lion King is a close second though)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Specifically Turkey Hill’s Double Dunker (get it— it’s so good)

Favorite animal: Humpback whale

Go-to karaoke song: She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Neurosurgeon! Or a Twitch streamer HAHA

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?  Ahhh probably coffee, I love tea but I need my coffee </3

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting! Clearly the superior superpower I don’t take constructive criticism.

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? This is weirdly specific, but I would love to be in Scotland during the 1700’s. Alternatively, the 1980’s.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 100%. I know everything happens for a reason but getting a redo and being able to fix all the big mistakes I made would be pretty nice.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken! 100 tiny horses would be crazy tiring.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I would probably be the gay side character that gives good emotional advice but is hella lonely LMAO

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes, both!

What are some small things that make your day better? Driving with the windows down and music blasting, picking up coffee, playing video games, & talking to my internet friends on Discord.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I discovered my love for writing through Warrior Cats roleplay😭

What fandom(s) do you write for? Right now, only Kpop, but I wouldn’t mind writing for 5SOS or some of my other fandoms!

When did you post your first piece? On WattPad, December 2015. On Tumblr, April 2018 :)

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write everything! Fluff/smut/crack is my favorite and slight angst (usually just slow burn though cus I’m soft).

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? Again, I write anything and everything! Currently, second or third person reader inserts are my main style, but I also do ships and would love to write more OCs.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Before Tumblr, I was on WattPad for different fandoms but eventually fell off. Then, when I got into Kpop in 2017, I found that urge to write again and decided to move to Tumblr since WattPad was becoming… weird. Plus Tumblr was a better fit for me!

What inspires you to write? To be completely honest, it’s the little things throughout the day that inspire me. For example, “Honey” was inspired by me not being able to open my locker in high school. “I Hemoglobin You” was based off my friend giving me a head rub while I was donating blood. Kpop idols just so happen to be my muses that I like to put into random moments of inspiration!

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? High school or college AUs are my favorite, along with some good ol’ friends to lovers slow burn. Angst isn’t my forte so I usually just stick to fluff, smut, and some crack. I haven’t written any but fantasy AUs are some of my favorites too! (RIP to my League of Legends AU that I started and haven’t touched in months.)

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Just like other fanfiction authors inspire me, I hope some of my work inspires others. Considering fanfiction is free, there is so much out there to read and when I find a good story that inspires ME to write better, I’d love for my writing to do the same.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 3 options: 1) Skip that scene and jump ahead to one I’m excited to write; 2) Erase what part I’m on and completely redo it; or 3) Drop it. The majority of my works usually take a few months to write as I will completely stop working on it until I find the right inspiration again. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? “Four” is definitely my favorite work. It’s one of my longer pieces and there was a lot of raw emotion in there on my end. I love the relationship between Hyunjin and the reader and especially love the ending. “Greatest Gift” for Chanyeol is my most successful, and one of my other favorites!

Who is your favorite person to write about? Easily Hwang Hyunjin. It’s so easy to place him in any of my works, and sometimes it’s a struggle to NOT write him. It sounds stupid but sometimes I really feel like I “know” him so being able to describe him physically and mentally is easy for me.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. Yes, because most of the time, fanfiction is totally original as well and requires just as much thought as a 400,000 word novel. No, because fanfiction uses a specific person as a muse.

What do you think makes a good story? Detail and realistic dialogue! Of course, everyone has their own style of writing, but detail is especially important to me. Sure, you can have a great plot, but having concise, detailed writing to get immersed into makes a story so much better. I also find realistic dialogue to be a big deal— I hate when teenage characters are speaking in deep analogies because, if we’re being honest, my daily language is 95% just “Bruh.” If you’re like me, I’d actually prefer realistic dialogue over anything else.

What is your writing process like? Process… yikes. Sometimes… I have a random thought and then I’m like… hell yeah let’s write that. I actually have no process. I don’t outline, I just start writing and keep writing until I’m finished. Then I’ll read it all over to make edits, then I’ll use the Read Aloud feature to catch any mistakes I missed, then I’ll run it through Grammarly before posting!

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Hm, maybe? In the future, possibly, but as of right now I wouldn’t use any of my fics to do so.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Oh, gosh, tropes. Gotta love them. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, stuck together (AKA forced to share a bed), and fake relationships are my favorites. They may be corny, but I also love truth or dare or 7 minutes in heaven games in fics cus… they’re just classics. Also love fics with a popular x shy pairing. I can’t say I dislike many tropes, but I definitely have a love/hate relationship with vampire and werewolf tropes because of how romanticized they are.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Hm, to be completely honest, only a little bit? I mainly write for myself, it’s like a guilty pleasure to just get all my thoughts and desires out, and then I just so happen to make it public on Tumblr. Nevertheless, receiving comments and asks actually make my day, and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around people enjoying my writing! So, thank you to everyone who has ever left me a kind message, I truly appreciate it ♥

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Getting involved! I think one of the best ways to grow is to join networks, which not only gives you the opportunity to share your work on a greater scale, but also allows you to make connections. Like real life, making connections and making friendships with other writers can play a huge role in growing as a writer and growing your account.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes :( As someone who’s involved with other fandoms, I’ve heard the way some people think of fanfiction and it’s really sad. People do not know how much goes into writing and just see it as cringey and disgusting when it’s just… not.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Yes! In all its forms, art is something a creator can use to influence their audience (in a good way, hopefully).

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Like I said in #40, I mainly write for myself. Even when I’m writing a request, chances are if I like the request enough I’m going to create a story out of it that fits my personal desires the most.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  No! However, I’d still consider myself a small account and do not have TOO many works posted. But so far, I don’t think I’ve faced this problem :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Only a few! My best friend Maggie is on Tumblr with me and only 2 of my other pals know I write fanfiction.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? How much I love each and every one of them for supporting me and sticking around even when I won’t post for months🥺❤️

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t psych yourself out! In the time I’ve spent on Tumblr, I’ve never received any substantial hate. My main advice is don’t write fanfiction to get popular on the app, write fanfiction because you love to write and love your muses!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? No, as much as Tumblr can be annoying at times, I love the people I’ve met and the content I’ve found and wouldn’t have wanted to use any other platform.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? @pinktea99 — Mo, you’ve been around since the beginning honestly, and without you I wouldn’t have been able to come out of my shell! Thank you for all your love & support & for being my SF9 buddy❤️

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“Like mate, stop procrastinating.” — 3RACHA

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[thisstableground]

I know you've done this before (and I loved it) but I would LOVE some "Abuela Claudia and the barrio kids" wholesome content ^^ Especially with characters like Benny or Vanessa, or Carla and the Rosarios - basically, Abuela Claudia being awesome and crazy big-hearted.

[Under a cut because as always, this got carried away. edit: now also on ao3, please leave a comment if you like it! Content warning for parental neglect.]

***

The only instructions Naomi Garcia gives, when she dropsVanessa off at Claudia’s is, “she’s got a coloring book, she can pretty muchjust look after herself. Do not takeher to the Rosarios. I’ll pick her up on Sunday.”

Vanessa stands there mutely, in her pink backpack andsmudgy-kneed overalls and, despite the mid-April warmth, a woolly winter hatwith a bobble on. She’s clutching her coloring book like she’s ready to beatsomeone to death with it. Claudia gives her an encouraging smile as her momleaves and says, “it’s good to have you here, Vanessa!”

“I ain’t see why I can’t go play with Nina just ‘cause ourmoms is fighting about dumb boring mom stuff,” Vanessa says, scowling. “I’mstill gonna be friends with her no matter what they say.”

She gives Claudia a challenging look, as if to say, and you aren’t going to stop me. Claudiajust says, “¡Bueno! So what do you want to do today?”

“I want to go to Nina’s.”

It’s going to be along weekend, Claudia thinks.

Much as Claudia agrees with Vanessa that a fight betweenparents shouldn’t get in the way of children’s friendship, she’s loathe to directlyignore one of the few direct instructions given by Vanessa’s mom. On realizingshe isn’t going to get her way, Vanessa slouches off to a corner of the livingroom floor and quietly colors in while Claudia goes about her usual morningcleaning, feeling faintly stumped.

This is so strange in comparison to Usnavi, who always thunders right in as though he owns the place, or Nina who always stays firmly by Claudia’s side the entire time she’s there.From the time she’s spent with both Nina and Vanessatogether, Claudia knows that Vanessa is a very headstrong young lady, usually farmore boisterous than this – bossy, even, always taking the lead while Ninafollows her around admiringly. But on her own, Vanessa is silent, hidden downbehind the side of the couch and only speaking up to say “no, I’m fine” whenever Claudiaoffers her a drink or asks if she wants to watch la television.

Her short, terse answers are bordering on what might becalled rude, but when Claudia asks if Vanessa’s hungry and Vanessa hesitates,looking hunted for a long moment before ducking her head back down very close to thepage, scribbling intensely without giving an answer, she realizes that perhapsVanessa is shy. It has, after all,been many years since Claudia looked after her alone without Nina there too,not since the girls were toddlers, and it is much easier to be brave and bossywith a good friend there.

“I haven’t had my breakfast today,” Claudia lies. “I wasgoing to get myself some food, if you wanted to share?”

“…I guess maybe I’m a littlebit hungry,” Vanessa concedes.

“We will make something together, then.” Claudia says, thenspots all the felt tip pen smudges on Vanessa’s hands, and the dirt under herbitten-short fingernails, and adds as they walk to the kitchen, “but first noslaveremos las manos.”

She pushes a chair up next to the kitchen sink so that Vanessacan reach. Vanessa sticks her hands quickly under the water then wipes them offon her overalls, still inkstained and dirty.

“No, no, con jabón.” Claudia rinses her own hands andlathers the bar of soap between them, more thoroughly than she usually would sothat Vanessa can see what she’s doing. “Like this, see?”

“I know!” Vanessasnaps, but she watches Claudia and copies carefully anyway, every movementmimicked exactly.

When she’s done, Claudia moves the chair over to the counterfor her, sets a cutting board and knife down ready, then rummages through thedisorganized cupboards looking past long-expired half-empty jars of pickles andsauces and preserves for the ingredients she needs. She really needs to tidy upin here but somehow it’s so hard to bring herself to throw anything away. “Ay, ¿dónde está?I’m sure I had una cebolla here somewhere…”

“What we makin’?” Vanessa asks, climbing up onto the chair.She picks up the knife and examines it, sharp end very close to herface. Claudia swiftly takes it out of her hands. “Hey!”

“We’re having arroz con pollo.” Claudia puts theknife safely out of Vanessa’s reach and finally locates an onion nestled inwith the bananas and mango in the fruit bowl.

“I usually have peanut butter jelly sandwiches,” Vanessa tellsher. “They’re easiest to make.”

“You make your own lunch?”

“Uh-huh! I do it all the time when Mommy isn’t home.”

“Oh, vaya, that’s very grown up.”

Vanessa beams proudly and Claudia smiles at her, but in herheart she didn’t mean that as a compliment: Vanessa has barely been six for amonth. She’s so young to be spending any time at home alone, never mind feedingherself while she’s there. Perhaps it would have been less surprising back in Claudia’sday when children were far more independent far younger, but Claudia thinks thatthere are many things in her day that she’s glad have gone out of fashion now.

But she says nothing of it, only shows Vanessa how tomeasure out enough rice and rinse it so that it doesn’t all stick together whenit cooking, lets her open the little glass jars of spices and sniff each ofthem individually. Vanessa follows along with an unexpected focus, likeshe’s trying to memorize every instruction for herself.

With the air conditioning barely functioning as ever,Claudia’s apartment is small and stuffy, especially on a day like this. By thetime the pot is full and bubbling away on the stove and it’s time to clean up,Vanessa’s cheeks are bright pink from the heat.

Claudia says, “aquí, why don’t you take that hat off,” andwith the unconscious familiarity she’d show for Usnavi or Nina, plucks thebobble hat off Vanessa’s head. 

Vanessa shrieks, and Claudia sees instantly thatshe isn’t wearing it just out of one of those odd childish whims like she’dassumed: her hair is an absolute rat’s nest, not just messy fromplaying but hopelessly tangled and sweaty like it hasn’t been washed or brushedin weeks.

“No! Give it back!” Vanessa shouts. She stamps her foot onthe chair and leans over on tiptoes making a grab for the hat. Hurriedly, Claudiahands it back before she overbalances and lands right on the stove. In asplit-second Vanessa has jammed it back on her head, jumped to the ground and boltedout of the kitchen, the door to Claudia’s bedroom slamming shortly after. WhenClaudia follows and knocks on the door, she yells, “go away! Leave me alone!”

Claudia taps her fingers against the doorframe and pursesher lips. Dealing with Vanessa, she thinks, is very, very different fromdealing with the children she’s used to. If Nina has ever raised her voice inher life than Claudia wasn’t there to see it. Usnavi wouldn’t even think to beembarrassed about something like messy hair in the first place: the boy wouldbe a walking mud puddle if his parents didn’t intervene.

Hm. Maybe that’s a point. She leaves Vanessa to calm down onher own while she goes to call Camila and find out exactly why it is that Naomidoesn’t want Vanessa going to visit.

The second she mentions Naomi’s name, Camila makes asquawkingly aggravated noise down the phone and says, “ay, do not get me started on that woman. Shesends her daughter round here practically every day and we feed her and look after her forfree and what thanks do we get? She should learn to take good advice when she’sgiven it.”

“What kind of advice?” Claudia asks, and then because sheknows Camila very well, “and how did you give it?”

“Oh, I know what you’re thinking, Claudia, but it wasjustified. I see enough of what goes on there to know that she isn’t fit to be a mother. It’sno wonder the girl is growing up half-wild.”

“Camila!” Claudiascolds. “No es justo, Naomi is still very young herself, she is only trying herbest with what she’s got.”

“Ha! If that’s what you call trying I’d hate to see what happens when she stops. The amount of times Vanessa’s complained about having aheadache here because nobody ever taught her you need to drink water and eatduring the day? El otro díashe says she can’t pick Vanessa up from our place so ‘just let her walkhome by herself’! I ask you, at herage? In this neighborhood? And then I try to talk to Naomi about it and shecalls me interfering!”

Claudia makes a sympathetic tsk noise.

“She might have been young when she had her but she’s anadult now, she has responsibilities,” Camila says firmly. “If she’d rather haveher own pride than listen to me, well, I wash my hands of the whole thing.”

It’s all very well tosay that from the outside, Claudia thinks as she hangs up, as much toherself as to Camila. She’s always felt for Naomi, who moved here with nothingbut a teenage pregnancy and that waste of space she called a husband - what aman of his age was doing with a girl barely out of childhood herself,honestamente – and whose fierce pride and broken heart and sharp temper made it very, very hardto get along with her for very long. But as young as Naomi is, Vanessa’s even younger and wheredoes all of this leave her, this odd, stubborn half-wild half-adult child, whoalready makes her own lunch and walks herself home from school the days hermother forgets to pick her up but was never taught how to wash her hands orbrush her own hair properly?

The bedroom door is still closed when Claudia returns to it.She knocks but lets herself in without waiting for an answer. Vanessa issitting on the floor by the bed hugging her knees, looking furious and ashamed.With some difficulty because her knees aren’t what they used to be, Claudiasits on the floor beside her.

“Don’t want it brushed,” Vanessa mutters sullenly, andscuffs her fingertips against the floor, picking at the fake wood-effectlinoleum.

“¿Por qué no?”

“Mommy used to brush it and she always pulls too hard, and Isaid ow and she told me to stop beinga baby but then I told her it hurts and she got mad and said if I know so muchabout everything I can just do it by myself.” Vanessa gives a heavy, put-uponsigh. “And I tried but it’s too tangly.Anyhow, it’s just hair. Why’s it matter if it’s messy?

“Because if you leave it like that then eventually birdswill start living in it.”

Obstinately, Vanessa says, “maybe I want birds to live in it.”

“Perhaps you do,” Claudia says, “but then they will sing allday and wake you up so, so early en la mañana.”

She makes cheepy bird noises, her fingers tapping against her thumbs like little cawing beaks all around Vanessa’s ears until Vanessastarts laughing then immediately looks outraged about it.

“Can I try to help? I promise not to pull it,” Claudiaswears. Vanessa gives her a suspicious look but then relents and takes the hatoff. It looks even worse up close. Claudia does her best not to react but Vanessaseems to have picked up on it because she bunches her shoulders up so high theyalmost hit her ears and stays like until Claudia tries togently finger-comb it out. She barely touches her before Vanessa hisses andgoes “owww!” in a high-pitched whine.

“Lo siento,” Claudia says, though she knows it couldn’treally have hurt.

“I told you, it’s too tangly,” Vanessa says, with an edge toher voice that means I am on the verge ofhysteria. “I already tried to brush it but it won’t work!”

“What if we call the ladies at the salon and ask what theythink? Daniela will know how to fix it, I’m sure.”

“She’ll laugh at me.”

“I’ll tell her off if she does.”

That makes Vanessa pause. “You’d tell Dani off?”

“Believe it or not, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Vanessa says, “don’t tell her it’s about me?”, something sopitiful and pleading about it that Claudia wants to hug her. She resists theurge and says, “our secret” and with Vanessa’s nod of permission, calls up thesalon.

���I have a very young friend here with very tangly hair,” sheinforms Dani. “Un cepillo will not work. ¿Qué hacemos?

Dani says, “I told Rosa that next time Usnavi gets gum stuckin it she should just bring him here straight away.”

“No, not Usnavi. And nothing is stuck, it is just…ah, descuidado.”

“Oh,” Dani says, suddenly serious and sighing. “It’s Vanessa,isn’t it?”

Claudia makes a noncommittal sound: Dani is closest of allof them to Naomi, and she suspects probably could give her more of an insightinto the Garcia family than anyone, but she did make a promise. There’s a mufflednoise of Dani covering the handset and talking to someone for a second and thenshe says, “Carla says to work a lot of conditioner into it and comb it through,starting at the bottom.”

“Will that work?”

“It’s worked before for some little problemas,” Dani says.“But if her hair’s that bad it might take more time than it’s worth.  Sometimes the only thing to do really is to cutit all off and start again. Do you want to bring her in and we’ll have a lookand see how much we can salvage? Sin cargo.”

“No, no, we’ll try the conditioner first, gracias. Give Carlamy love.” Claudia isn’t going to make Vanessa go and have all her hair cut off ifshe can help it. And so they eat their arroz con pollo then afterwards, she gathers everything and has Vanessa sit on a kitchen chairwith a towel round her shoulders, and gets to work with a comb and a bottle ofconditioner. She does her best to keep up chatter to cheer up a morose-lookingVanessa, but with very little in the way of responses and such a long taskahead, Claudia eventually just concentrates on what she’s doing, making slow,slow progress.

After about ten minutes, there’s a quiet sniff from thelittle figure in the chair, and then another one. Claudia stops what she’sdoing and leans round to see that Vanessa looks seconds away from crying. “¿Esto duele?”

“No,” Vanessa mumbles.

“What’s wrong?

Vanessa just shakes her head, staring at the floor with acrumpled brow and tears in her eyes, and though it may be overfamiliar, Claudia’syears of instinct immediately demand that she pull Vanessa into a tight hug –how could she possibly do anything else? With no noise but one tiny, miserable whimper of breath, Vanessastarts crying silently but hard, face against Claudia’s shoulder.

“Ah, pobrecita, I know,” Claudia murmurs, strokes Vanessa’shair as best she can, her hand sliding over the gloss of conditioner. She mightnot know Vanessa quite as well as some of her other children but one thingshe’s certain is that she’s a proud, independent little thing. This must bemortifying for her. There seems no good way to say to her that it isn’t herfault, that there are many small but crucial things in life that she should be taught to do, not left alone to figure out, and that this is probably only one of many. Telling her that won’t fix anything. But it does remind Claudia of a far-off and absurd memory. Shemoves Vanessa off her shoulder, still holding her by the arms and says, “when Iwas una niñita, we used to curl our hair withstrips of newspaper.”

Vanessa frowns at her. She’s already stopped crying, wipingher face on the towel round her neck. “Huh?”

“You’d take  un pedazo de periódico  in your hand and put yourhair around it like this – “ she makes a wrapping motion in the air, “and leaveit to dry en la noche, and you wake up with beautiful curls. My mama used to doit for me, but one day when I was a little older than you, she was not feelingwell and so I tried to do it myself. I thought, it cannot be so hard, if shedoes it all the time, and so I wrapped all my hair in newspaper and I went tobed, and you know what?”

“What?”

“It looked terrible,”she says. “At the front, too many curls, like the wig of a clown! But at theback, where I could not reach properly, all the paper had come out and so itwas not curled at all. Can you imagine?” She gestures down her back as thoughlong straight locks are still there, then holds her hands up at the frontmimicking the explosion of badly-curled ringlets.

Vanessa giggles at the image. “That sounds silly.”

“It was,” Claudia confirms. “And in those days we did nothave a shower and so I couldn’t wash it out so easily. I tried to get it wetand make it lie flat but it only made it look worse, and because Mama was sick Ihad to go out and run all the errands with my hair so crazy.”

“Oh noooo,” Vanessa says, hands over her mouth, utterly invested in the story. “What didyou do?”

“Well, first I cried very, very hard,”Claudia says,remembering it with a smile because it seems like such a small thing to be so upset over now. “And I wore una bufanda  around my head, because I thought everyonewould laugh at me. And even when I went in to see my Mama in bed I wore labufanda because I was so embarrassed that i did it so wrong. And she did laugh,when I told her what had happened, but then when she was better she showed mehow to do it right, and I still curl my hair that way to this day.” She patsher neat, pinned-back rolls of rapidly-greying curls.

“My mommy wouldn’t do that,” Vanessa says. “She’d just getmad at me for doing it wrong.”

“Maybe,” Claudia says, because it seems even harsher to lie about it, “but I neverwould, if you ever need somebody to tell you how to fix a problem. It’s okay if youget it wrong for a while. Many things take a lot of practice and a lot ofpatience.”

Vanessa mulls it over, then gives a very solemn nod and sniffs hard one lasttime. “Okay. We can carry on now.”

Daniela was right: the whole process takes well over anhour, and they have to move to the couch so that Claudia can sit down halfwaythrough, but what of it? Claudia’s got plenty of time to spare in herretirement and, she reflects a little sadly, it has probably been a long, longwhile since anyone paid Vanessa this much attention.

All worth it in the end, when she announces that they arefinished, and Vanessa touches her own hair with her eyes lighting up. “You didit!” she gasps, as though Claudia had performed a miracle. “You fixed it!”

“We still need to rinse all the conditioner out.” Claudiahesitates about that: if it were Usnavi or Nina she’d simply throw them in the tub. They’re both getting old enough to be left unsupervised for short moments when they’re in there, but thedoor is always open, and she always calls reminders to not forget to wash theirfaces and scrub under their nails. They still need help rinsing out shampoo andclimbing out of the bath. Both of them still let her rub one of her oldfaded-pink towels thoroughly over their hair to dry it, and they still play thegame where she covers their whole faces with it and puts her hand therepretending she is going to scrub away their face just as roughly while theyshriek in pretend-fear and yell “no, Abuela!”. They’re getting too old for suchthings, but what are abuelas for if not to baby the grandchildren? They allknow that these moments are not forever, and why not hold onto childhood justas long as possible?

But Vanessa probably won’t allow anything like that, alreadyso clearly ashamed of the things about her that speak to the age she really is,and she’s already had enough embarrassment for the day. Claudia spares her thediscomfort of asking, instead rinsing her hair tipped upside down over thekitchen sink the way Claudia’s mama used to do for her so many years ago: cleanit all off with warm water and then one last jugful of cold to finish. Vanessa hollersloudly at the shock of cool water, but she laughs about it right afterwards.

Later in the living room, when Claudia is reading thenewspaper and Vanessa is lying on her belly on the floor with her felt tips,there’s the sound of ripping paper, very slow and quiet like she’s trying notto be heard. Claudia looks up to see Vanessa with a strip torn out of hercoloring book, trying to tie it in a knot around her still-damp hair.

She looks sheepish when she sees Claudia watching. “I want it allcurly,” she explains. Her hair uncoils itself from around thebadly-wrapped strip of paper.

“Would you like me to teach you how?”

“You don’t gotta.”

“I would like to.”

Vanessa hmms, and says, “only if you don’t make it go allcrazy at the front, then.”

“I’m much better at it than I used to be.”

Claudia takes the pages of her newspaper she’s finished readingand tears them into strips, and this funny, prickly hedgehog of a girl sitsclose in front of her, allowing her carefully roll her hair up into twists. Vanessaisn’t silent or sulking now: she’s talking about how she wants her hair to looklike Nina’s because Nina has the most beautiful hair, and gives a high-pitchedbubbling giggle as she recounts Claudia’s story about her own failed papercurls. She sounds just like the six year old she is instead of a tiny, furiousadult. Claudia’s back and eyes already ache from bending over and concentratingfor so long earlier, but she doesn’t mind pushing through it for this. Some things justneed a little patience.