#WHATEVER THE HELL KEVIN HAS GOING ON IS VERY IMPORTANT

[quintessential-candles]

N O

Crazy that I can just buy Tylenol wherever. You need a drug to stop a natural neurological reactoin by blocking pain receptors, potentially causing you to get injured and not notice or just straight up addicted from overuse? That'll be 20 bucks at Shoppers

[starberry-cupcake]

hello!! I'm back!!! *sitcom studio cheer sound*

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag for all the recaps

last recap I said Something was happening and it has!! we have a puppy now!!! her name is Dana (after Scully)!! this is her!!!

DAY TWO (one of the things mentioned is that honesty's job goes terribly wrong and I feel so bad because I forgot to point it out in my recap, even if it was something that looked sus af to begin with and I was concerned when I read about it)

CHAPTER 7 (second house skull, after pyrrha probably)

nona wakes up abruptly

someone told me in the last recaps that the bible chapters are when nona is sleeping, which I hadn't put together at all and I don't know if I should have or if I missed something important

in any case, nona starts telling camilla what she dreamt, which is not what was in the bible chapter, so idk what's going on with that

maybe the bible thing is what harrow is seeing and the dreams are what an amnesiac gideon is seeing????

we don't know yet

she's describing being with the "other person" who is touching her hands but they're not hers

"I'm touching my own hands but they aren't mine"

which is another one on the tally for the "this is gideon in harrow's body" theory

they're surrounded by red eyes in the darkness and she's very hungry

and they're holding hands

that's the dream

she was startled awake because camilla threw a sponge at her

nona freaked the hell out about that

remember when harrow was woken up by og!gideon trying to murder her in cold blood every morning? those were simpler times

also, nona is about to put on the tshirt from the cover which took me 25 years and @lady-harrowhark pointing it out to notice it was a burger

camilla asks her about the hands and nona says she didn't like them

and that she doesn't like having hands????

she's a bit infuriating sometimes ngl

I don't know what to do with this information

pyrrha talks about people becoming violent because shit is getting real

and she prepares some mush for them to eat at breakfast

she's also worried about camilla's soul (and life) due to whatever it is they're doing on the sites

palmolive, I swear to whatever god of your choosing

(that isn't dr reverend emperor john asshat)

if something happens to camilla on your watch

I'm gonna chase your nerdy ass all the way to your river loft and back

when they start talking about nona wanting a "six months alive" gift, pyrrha tells camilla how depressing and non-gift-giving the ninth house is

which she visited when anastasia got settled

nice to know things in the ninth never ever changed

they did have a gift, though

the gift of ortus's poetry

nona wants differently colored hair ties, to not push too far into pyrrha's limited budget

we'll see if we make it to the birthday, there's a countdown going on

when nona gets to school, honesty has a punch in the eye and she has to help him with it until teacher angel comes in

teacher angel is still looking very sus, with clothes in disarray and also the same ones from the previous day

hot sauce also comes in afterwards, which makes me think she might have been following teacher angel

she's on the case

hot sauce gets very upset asking honesty who punched him in the face

everyone's very upset and tense, except for kevin who's eating peacefully

we love kevin

so, honesty tells the story and starts from the worst place imaginable to explain something that happened with accuracy

which is the end

but that's fine, because the tension of the story is in the middle, so we get the narrative effect

we appreciate that

he's got a podcast in another life

honesty was about to go to the tunnel job but, turns out, it wasn't a tunnel job

it was actually a mad max job

and they get cocky and do more than they were planning to, which is never a good idea

so, by the third attempt, the guy who's been doing the dropping-in maneuver gets very spooked by what he finds in there

which is a lot of people with white eyes who look directly at him when he shows up

which prompts militia trucks to pull them over

so honesty runs the fuck out of there and gets smashed into a pole

depiction of honesty, ruby and born in the morning after the incident, had they been together:

honesty gets saved and cared for by some homeless folk

after his face got smashed into the pole

and he clarifies they were trying to steal from a convoy

which he would have said no to had he known the job before being taken to do it

he asks hot sauce to protect him

which hot sauce agrees to, but I think this is too much work for one hot sauce alone, especially if she's keeping an eye on everything else

nona offers her help, but is rejected, on account of being dumb

I wonder if nona will somewhat reveal her powers of healing protecting these kids at some point

OH, ALSO

teacher angel sus person mentioned not being technically a doctor but getting a crash course in triage

which, continues to be sus behavior

is teacher angel helping with the fights? with war? with secret confrontations?

we'll have to wait and see!!

THAT'S IT FOR NOW!! I haven't had a lot of time to read and recap and I'm currently falling asleep as we speak, so sorry for such a short one this time!!! ♥

[jules-ln]

Ok, I've seen too many people bring drama from the bad bad place (Twitter) to the slightly better bad place (tumblr) and at this point my eye is just twitching

So I guess it's time for me to be controversial yet brave again and talk about racism and Jayce

Lemme bring my DEI points out before anything because I guess that what's important with you gringos

I'm Mexican, I was born and raised in Mexico and I've never lived anywhere else but Mexico; I'm brown, my grandfather was an indigenous purepecha man, I don’t identify as indigenous because I don't know anything about the culture, but I do look indigenous and so I've been discriminated because of it, I'm also a trans man

So now, about the racism of making Jayce hypermasculine. I don't think there is any, or at least not a lot that I've seen

Because while yes, that is something that tends to happen with dark skin people in fandom. Jayce doesn't have very dark skin

Now, lemme explain

As someone who is a few shades darker than Jayce; Jayce is light Moreno, Moreno indeed, but light

I was talking the other day with my friend about this, saying that I have the headcanon that because he probably spends all his time inside the lab with Viktor he doesn't tan, so he's pretty much a light Moreno

Why does this matter?

Listen, I know Gringos and Europeans hear people say "Latino" and they immediately imagine brown, it doesn't matter if the Latino in question is the whitest person to ever white (like look at Kevin Alejandro, if I remember correctly, his parents are Mexicans, but my man over there has blue eyes), but in reality, specially in places like Mexico where most of the population could be considered PoC; there's the very big problem of colorism and that plays a role in masculinity

I've seen it every day here in Mexico, where the men who have lighter skin tones are allowed to be more emotional and vulnerable without such harsh consequences and the men with darker skin tones have to be a lot more masculine in a toxic way or they get judged by it

And while I do think that depictions of Jayce within the Fandom suffer from racism, it doesn't show in the same way it would in a character with a darker skin tone; it shows in sexualization and objectification kind of way

Like I've seen many art and posts that make me feel weird as a Latino where gringos make the point that Jayce being Latino is the hot thing about him, like they mention "Oh Viktor likes Jayce because he likes Latinos" and I'm like "how the fuck did you thought of that and didn't find it extremely weird"

Because I'm a Latino, and it's like, "Just for that? You haven't even seen my comic collection"

Or I've also seen MelJay fans (do you think I was going to let you off the hook? No baby, we're calling out eveyoneeee) post things like "I don't really care about Jayce, I just want a dick for Mel smut" how the hell did you think of that and didn't find it racist like, sure let's objectify the Latino man, why don't I just throw myself out of a window arrr arriba y arriba pa adelante Ñ or whatever

And this has a lot to do with colorism, where Jayce is Moreno enough to be "spicy" but not Moreno enough to be "undesirable"

Because people complain a lot about fans making Jayce Hypermasculine, but Jayce does dress and looks traditionally masculine, he has the proportions of a superhero and goes with suits to fight, that is masculine. But I have yet to see somebody making Jayce a typical mexican macho, like most of the time he's vulnerable, emotional, cries, shows his love openly, that isn't something that fits into the category of mexican macho

But you know what character gets the hypermasculinity treatment on top of the adultification treatment? Ekko

That's right, like he's 19 I think, he's still very young, and yet I have seen waaay more fanarts of Jayce being whimsical and having fun than of Ekko

I've also seen like a lot of post calling Jayce cute and almost none of Ekko? C'mon guys Ekko is cute

But, curious curiouser curiousest that this kind of issue only gets brought up with Jayce, a Moreno man that, let's be honest, under the right lighting could pass as a white man with a tan

(And funny that Mel fans only ever bring racism in relation to Mel and let Ekko get the brunt of it, hmmm, I wonder whyyyy)

Also, my hot take about that Tarzan art? I don't think it's racist, like we are talking about the quintessential white savior story where the protagonist gets to be better than than the natives at living in nature and gets all those muscles and locs? The Tarzan story it is racist, but not in the way you are thinking

Besides, hottest take: if you don't find all that art where Jayce gets treated like a dog racist, you shouldn't think of the Tarzan art as racist, just saying

Aaaand, just as the cherry on top? as a trans man, feminine Viktor is such a non issue, like no, it isn't fetishizing trans men, there's not a right way to look like a man or a woman; like what, are you going to start saying that Viktor wouldn't be a trans trender and he would be a trans man in the right™️ way or??

Don't like it? Grow up and learn to block people babyyyy, it's that easy

But yeah, Viktor looked weird in that Tarzan post because his head was way too big, I think that's more a Disney's problem than anything else because that person was tracing over the movie lmao

[unintentionaloracle]

Cause For Concern [Fic]

(The Bloodline Doesn't Know Part 3 of 4)

(Part One, Part Two)

I know we just ate this Raw, but I got a new chapter in this (unintended) saga to drop! And it's gonna be a painful one, so buckle up! (With a little surprise I won't spoil in the tags 🤭)

Summary: Sami has to come clean to Kevin. He knows this. However, turmoil in The Bloodline could make it harder...and worse...

Sami woke up gently, firmly held by Kevin's strong arms. Kevin's foot gently caressed his. He felt Kevin nuzzle into his neck. At first, Sami settled in, content and happy to be cuddled by the man he loved. “Mmm. G’morning, sexy...” He said, softly, caressing his forearm.

“Morning, sexy...” He responded.

The warmth couldn't last, however. He remembered what he had to do, and it hit like water to fire. “Hey, Kev? Remember what I told you last night?”

“Mmm...that you had something important to talk about?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah,” Sami said, shifting around. “I have to tell you this because I love you. Before this continues.” He said, placing his hand on Kevin's heart gently.

“Oh my God...are you pregnant?” Kevin asked.

Sami couldn't tell if it was joking or not, with his tone and him being Kevin. “No? I can't?” He huffed. “Kevin, I'm being serious.”

Kevin shook his head. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

Sami took a deep breath. “Kevin, I've been–”

Sami's phone rang. It was Jimmy's theme song. He groaned as he reached for it. Now is not the time, Jimmy!

Kevin gently tried to stop him from picking up the phone. “Ignore him. Just tell me what you gotta say, Sami,” he said, looking at him so softly it broke Sami's heart.

“I can't. He'll just keep calling and I'll never get a word in...” Sami said with a groan. He took a deep breath, put on his happy face, and picked up. “What's up, my dawg? Why are you calling so early?” He asked in what could only be described as his “customer service voice”.

“Uce, you gotta get down to the arena. Heyman says Roman's calling an emergency family meeting. Something about betrayal.”

Sami could feel the color drain from his face. “Right away?”

“Right away.”

Sami sighed, “Okay.” He hung up and started getting dressed (making sure he grabbed one of his Bloodline shirts) before turning his attention to Kevin. “I'm sorry, there's something I gotta do first. It's Roman. Sounds like he'll kill me if I'm not there.”

Or if I am there...

Kevin got dressed, too, then grabbed his keys. “I'll drive you. Hell, I'll wait in the parking lot for you, too. As backup if it goes bad.”

“Kevin, that's sweet, but...”

Kevin gently shushed Sami before caressing his face. “Whatever this is, it's got you terrified. You've been there for me these past few weeks, Sami. Let me be there for you this time, my guardian angel,” he said before giving him a kiss on the forehead.

The words “guardian angel” felt like barbed wire. There was no dissuading him. And it sounded like he'd have to diffuse Roman before he could talk to Kevin. “Okay, you nostalgic sap,” he teased.

Kevin chuckled and kissed his cheek repeatedly. Playfully. Sami couldn't help but laugh. “Stop!” He playfully protested. “I really have to go!”

“Okay, then let's go.”

---

Sami was the second to arrive at the arena lobby, after Jimmy. Roman was apparently running fashionably late to his own emergency meeting. “Any idea what it's about?”

“Probably me,” Jey sighed as he arrived at the scene. His hair was still messy, at first glance from waking up. But judging by the very visible lipstick stains on his face and neck, he didn't get much sleep at all.

Sami grinned. “You and Rhea!?”

Jey started to swagger over to Jimmy and Sami, a goofy grin on his face. “Yeah! Ya boy went to Rhea’s hotel room after you left. To talk to her face-to-face,”

“Yeet!” Sami said, almost on compulsion.

“We got our mack on,”

“Yeet!”

“She told me what'd been eating her,”

“Yeet!”

“I told her she’s got me: heart, body, and soul...”

“YEET!” Sami said alongside Jimmy, who was also getting swept up in it, now.

“We made it official!”

“YEET!”

“And–”

“And now you're going to destroy the family, again. Because of her. For shame.” Heyman interrupted, looking like a stern parent. “And after everything Roman has done for you.”

“...Yeet?” Jimmy said awkwardly.

Sami looked over at Jey, who'd seemed to somewhat shut down. “Jey...”

“I just...”

Roman burst on the scene, grabbing Jey by the collar. “You're just gonna quit The Bloodline!? Over the phone!?”

“Uce!” Sami and Jimmy said in unison.

Oh, come on, Jey! Sami thought. He hadn't expected Jey to beat him to the punch, let alone do it so stupidly.

“I mean, I wasn't sure if I'd get a hold of you face to face, Roman...” Jey said. “And I need to! I love her.”

“You love her enough to betray your family?”

“I’m not betraying the family! And it's not just that! I just...I got things I wanna do on my own, uce! I wanna beat Gunther! Become a big dog in my own right! We helped you get the ula fala back and take down Solo. You're the One True Tribal Chief and nobody can take it away from you. Now it's time we get to do our own thing!” Jey turned to Jimmy. “You had big plans, too. Right, Big Jim?”

Jimmy shifted uncomfortably. “I mean...I am the only one of us who hasn't held his own solo belt...”

Roman let go of Jey. “And you can't accomplish that with all of us, together? Helping you out?”

“‘Together’!?” Sami interjected. “‘Helping us out?’ You're hardly around! And you've never helped us with anything! Where were you when Solo sabotaged Jey's title match? When Drew was harassing all of us? When Jimmy lost MONTHS of his career to Solo? We’ve all helped you more times than I can count, but I can barely count when you've done the same!”

Sami covered his mouth. His pulse rushed and pounded in his ear. So much for de-escalation.

Roman looked at him. “Really? I think letting you anywhere near this family was more than helpful to you, Sami.” He said, venomously. Roman had never looked more like The Tribal Chief he once was–he probably always had been–until now.

Disappointment distilled in Sami's heart.

“Yeah. And I'm grateful. And you're all family to me and nothing can change that. But...I think it's time I move on, too. I have things I need to accomplish...”

“Like screwing that asshole Kevin any time you please?” Roman bit back. “Because you've been doing that plenty, already.”

Jimmy's eyebrows raised. “Sami, you've been seeing–!?”

“Yes!” Sami, Jey, Roman, and Heyman answered in unison.

“...And I'm the only one who didn't know!?”

“Sorry, it was supposed to be a secret, and you, well...” Sami started.

“Oh, yeah. No no, I get it.” Jimmy said, backing off.

“And not just screwing Kevin Owens,” Heyman announced. “Sami has been using us! He's passing along intimate, dangerous information about us that that feral animal he calls a boyfriend can use against the family in exchange for getting some–!”

“I never passed on “dangerous” information! We never had any because Roman isn't around! And anything I did tell him was just to pacify him! I did it for the family AND for the man I love!” Sami shouted.

“...So you admit you lied to me...” Roman said, coldly.

“...Yes. For the greater good.”

“For the greater good? Or to save your own ass?” Roman countered, slowly getting in Sami's space. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jimmy and Jey brace themselves to intervene.

Sami stood his ground, his blood turned to liquid steel. “Maybe. But I'd also hoped maybe you'd actually changed when you went away. Learned to appreciate us. Became the man I used to think you were, deep down, two years ago. What anyone else said be damned. Or at least that you were on your way to that, and maybe I could help that man become all he could be. We’ve sacrificed everything for you, Roman...”

Images flashed in Sami's mind: holding his own title again and celebrating with Jey. Seth excitedly telling him, his good friend, what he did that weekend the minute he saw him backstage on Raw. Hugging Kevin after they'd wrestled a PLE, excitedly or consolingly. Kissing him in front of everyone. Waking up the next morning to that sleepy, loving gaze only he got to see...

“...the least you could do is let us get that back.”

Roman glared at him, only briefly glancing away at The Usos. For a moment, Sami swore he saw something else in his face. Hurt. Before Sami could cave, Roman closed his eyes and growled.

“I don't wanna be near any of you right now.”

With that, the OTC began to storm off.

Heyman looked at the three of them. “I hope you're all happy,” he said, about to follow Roman.

“That means you, too, Wiseman.” Roman said, then went out the door.

Heyman looked like Roman had just shot him in cold blood. He wandered off somewhere in the arena, dazed.

Jimmy huffed. “I barely did anything! Why's he mad at me, too!?”

Jey crouched down (practically collapsing), hands clasped together as if in prayer, forehead against his thumbs. Sami went over to him. “Jey, we did the right thing...”

“I know, it's just...this doesn't feel good, uce...” Jey said.

“Jey?”

The boys turned their heads to Rhea, who had just entered the lobby. She went to his side, kneeling down. “Are you okay? I saw Roman storm off...” She got a steely look in her eyes. “Did he do this?” Rhea asked, her voice holding an unspoken promise: she would make Roman regret it if he did.

“It's fine, baby. It's done. I quit The Bloodline. Sami, too,” Jey said.

Rhea’s expression softened. She looked up at Sami for confirmation. He nodded. She nodded back and hugged Jey. “Hey, it's gonna be okay. You aren't gonna be alone again. You've got me, Sami, Damian, Jimmy...” She said, looking up at his brother.

Jimmy nodded back at her.

“C’mon, let's go get some fresh air, okay?” Rhea suggested.

Jey nodded. Rhea helped him upright. Tears were in his eyes. She didn't say a word to the others as she helped him outside, just offering a wave. The boys waved back.

Jimmy looked at Sami. He shifted awkwardly, his eyes desperately darting anywhere else. “I...I should check on the Wiseman, uce...”

Sami nodded. “Yeah. Good luck, man. I gotta...I need to check on Kevin...”

Jimmy sighed. “Yeah, you do that. We'll talk later.”

“Of course,” Sami said. He sighed, as well. “Of course...”

---

Sami made his way back to the car and Kevin. At first, Kevin smiled, but that quickly fell when he saw the harrowed look on his lover's face. “What happened?”

“I think I just left The Bloodline. Or broke it up forever. I don't know, yet.”

Kevin gripped the steering wheel. “Need me to kick his ass?”

“No, I just...” Sami’s eyes started to burn. “I just need to talk to you. Now.”

---

Sami explained everything to Kevin, the whole truth. He kept trying to give Kevin a chance to respond, but he said nothing. His face never changed. A tear fell down Sami's cheek.

“And I swear, I didn't mean to let this go as far as it did. All I wanted was to make sure you wouldn't be alone and–”

“Get the hell out of my car.” Kevin said, face still unchanging.

Sami felt hollowed out. “...Kev–”

“I said get out!” Kevin barked, his eyes becoming rimmed with red.

“I didn't want to hurt you...” Sami’s voice cracked.

“Yeah, well, you did. Now get out.”

Sami couldn't move. Tears streamed down his face.

“Fine. Screw it. I'll leave my rental car!” Kevin said, storming out of the car, keys in hand.

“Where are you going?” Sami asked, crawling to the driver's side.

“A walk! Do whatever you want. You could beg and plead for Roman to take you back! I don't care anymore!” Kevin declared. Then his voice wavered. “Just...please don't be here when I get back...” Kevin stormed off, shaking as he reached around in his pockets.

Sami didn't chase after him. He knew to give Kevin his space. His tears evolved into full-fledged sobs. Sami tried to wipe his eyes with the hem of his shirt, only to be greeted with “The OG Bloodline” print. Tearing the shirt from his body, he tossed it out the window and let out an anguished wail.

For the first time in weeks, he had nothing. Absolutely nothing.

---

Almost across town, Roman braced himself outside a hotel door. It wasn't often that he was in the same town, but the stars aligned that both their shows would be here this week.

Getting the hotel and room number was easy. If he could afford a motorcade, he could afford to get some shady info under the table. It was actually talking to him that was the hard part. After all this time, could he?

No, he needed to. He needed him. His kingdom was crumbling right before his eyes, and he needed someone to talk to. Or at least make him forget it was happening for a while. He knocked on the door.

It opened.

“Look, I know it's been forever and you probably hate seeing me, but...” Roman started to feel himself crumble. “I have nothing. And I...” Roman fell to his knees. “I needed to see you. Please...”

He heard a familiar chuckle. “Hello to you, too. Never thought I'd see the so-called Tribal Chief begging to me, again...”

Roman looked up, flipping the veil of his hair out of his eyes. He was greeted by a beautiful sight he hadn't seen in years.

Mox, the man he'd once known (he'd once loved) as Dean, leaned against the doorframe, hypnotically swirling a toothpick around in his mouth. “Yeah, come in, I guess...”

(Last Part Here)

[biscof]

In honour of the new book announcement here is an old (kev)Jerejean thing I wrote

Now I am always a lover of Kevjerejean in a happy relationship buttttttt I also love the idea that Jerejean get together after Jean joins the Trojans but whenever Jean sees Kevin he can’t help but look at him and remember everything the were to each other. Now their relationship was not truly a committed relationship in any way. Kevin was never his boyfriend. But their relationship was at one point so strong that Jean in the back of his mind could not think about being around anyone else in the way he was with Kevin. They had a trust built on shared abuse. A connection forged with the restless nights spent patching each other up or simply sitting together unable to rest in fear of being defenceless. Every time Jean sees Kevin he can’t help but miss that time, that connection , that partnership. Jean knows that that part of his life is long over and he is so thankful for it, but occasionally when Jean smiles at a joke his teammates made or when he gets to wear an outfit he picked outside of the red and black colour scheme of the Ravins, Jean wishes, deep down that Kevin was there to see it. Without any doubt in his mind Jean is still mad at Kevin for what he did. Leaving Jean alone to face Riko’s wrath. Abandoning him to go live his happy life with a father, friends, and smiles he could never imagine for himself. But now that Jean is free form The Nest he deep down knows why Kevin did it. Why he left at the first opportunity. He knows and understands and forgives. With that forgiveness came the want. The want to see this version of Kevin and to know him. Jean wants to see Kevin smile, laugh, be at ease, and not worried that behind the next corner will be a fist, cane, or knife.

Jean misses Kevin, but then there’s Jeremy. Jeremy who welcomed him with open arms to the Trojans. Jeremy who wasn’t pushed away by Jeans rudeness but instead taught him that yelling and orders were not the only way of communication. Jeremy was the pinnacle of the sunny California bro, with his bright eyes and blond hair, his face perpetually tan and freaked, forever plastered with a smile. Jean had no chance of not falling for this sunny boy.

It all began with the first time they met. Jean still bed bound, covered in cuts and bruised to hell. Jeremy is kind and gentle but not pitying. Every time someone sees Jean they react with incessant reptitition of “are you alright” or “is there anything i can do for you.” But not Jeremy. Jeremy just sits there and talk to Jean like he doesn’t look like he got hit by a car. For whatever reason, the presence of this smiling sunshine man allows Jean to take his first deep breath in weeks.

As time goes on the Trojans become home for Jean. The locker room is no longer a scary place, the court no longer life or death. Jean, for the first time in over ten years, has a home. A home, with Jeremy Knox at a team he has begun to trust. That trust is why the quiet moment in his bed when Jeremy asks to kiss him for the first time he against all odds says yes. With that first kiss Jean unknowingly begins the next chapter of his life. A time where a warm embrace, echoing laughter, and genuine friendship are second nature. With this new found life Jean is able to do something he never before thought possible, he calls Kevin. The road to reconciliation isn’t easy but after a couple years of hard work, many extensive talks with Jeremy, and mutual respect for each others experiences Jean can confidently say that Kevin is once more one of the most important people in his life.

and hey if Jean and Jeremy invite Kevin over for a “sleepover” every once and a while that’s no one’s business but theirs thank you very much

[bklynmusicnerd]

GH Catch Up Part Three:

- Laura getting all giddy trying to get the sociopathic mooch to play family with her. Just tragic and embarrassing.

Finally, some Trina and Portia interaction! Wish it was longer but I'll take it. Trina thanking Portia for her tentative olive branch to Spencer and Portia admitting she's "not sold" yet was interesting. It's never not gonna amuse me how Portia can never just take the win. Trina has forgiven for her paternity disaster and doesn't know the full extent of her plotting against her happiness.

She should be making every effort to stay on Trina's good side, but control is too important for her, so even an olive branch to Trina's boyfriend is issued with a caveat. I also think it's important to peep BK's acting choices during that hug with Trina.

She's still very bothered by the idea of Trina and Spencer, which puts an asterisk over whatever alleged progress Portia is making on the "be less controlling" front. We'll see but I fear her toxic mom tendencies might doom her again. She can say she's letting go but actually doing it is another thing.

- Joss coming through with Adam and Dumb Dex is cracking me up. And Carly already knows Adam's name too. This is what Dex deserves is all I have to say.

- Of course Kristina is going to be the egg donor because this is the Maxie story all over again. Riveting stuff.

- God, Amnesia Esme is insufferable. Fuck her and her cheap shot at Trina denying her an absolution she didn't earn. Crying about not being afforded "grace" as if it's something she's entitled to. This is why this character will never work as a longterm one. If she's not scheming, all she provides are tears and whining. No capacity for self-reflection quickly makes for a dull character if they're not being played as the antagonist they're meant to be.

- Marshall is going straight to hell for using the memory of the dead woman he ghosted to cover up for his weirdness with Stella.

- Spencer's brain synapses are functioning again since he's the only who picked up on how completely fucking bizarre it is for a first time mother to abandon her baby for "me time" on Christmas Eve. Pour one out for Kevin who has officially joined the useful idiots brigade and thinks his sociopathic mooch of a niece was being "sincere". Starting to think Laura's hell house could be explained by an unknown mold issue because brain cells are not lasting for long in that house.

- If Nina has reached Catholic levels of guilt and wants to participate in confession then she might as well just tell Sonny. I don't know why she'd be married to someone she doesn't believe would be on her side through thick and thin.

- I'm not here for Trina being compared to that long suffering woman that Curtis called a mother. No thank you.

- Do not care about the "anguish" of Amnesia Esme getting her memories back and having it confirmed that she's a sociopath. Tired of the wide-eyed weepy bullshit with this character. It's not convincing. It's just played out. The very fact that her immediate next steps upon getting her first memory were to abandon her demon spawn to go break into Wyndemere prove that Trina was right about her memory being irrelevant. Her "redemption" was bullshit. She successfully weaponized her demon spawn like she was always going to pre-amnesia, what's so redemptive about that? She was always going to be a sociopath and do sociopathic shit, no matter what, because she doesn't have the capacity for genuine remorse or to think about anything or anyone beyond herself, not even her own demon spawn.

- Trina and Spencer (and demon spawn) meeting up at the hospital was cute, and I appreciated the subtle acknowledgment of their improved communication because Trina already knew Spencer was gonna be on his domestic crap on Christmas Eve before sociopathic mooch switched up the plan. Essentially, their big fight/almost breakup wasn't meaningless and has had a lasting effect on their relationship.

- Bonus: Even though no one has talked more shit about demon spawn existing on the canvas than me, I would be lying if I didn't admit that one of the funniest ongoing bits of the year was demon spawn being the number one fan of his mom's enemy.

- Finn has no business reading the Night Before Christmas, it should've been Kevin with Laura. Even if Finn wasn't one of the most hated characters this year, he's not a patriarch or respected member of PC like that. He's definitely not on par with Laura. A bizarre decision to end a bizarrely scripted episode.

[moonfurthetemmie]

By request I have more sweamare with Lucidity >:))

Some were generated from the conversation in the replies of this post

Other were just Remembered things that didn't make it out here to tumblr

sweamare? sweammare? whatever you know what i mean

Lucidity is absolutely going to be quite possessive of Nightmare with anyone outside of the manor. Whether or not Cross and Error have to deal with that will depend on whether or not they have also been convinced to stay in the manor (or, at the very least, convinced that Lucidity, Shale, and Nightshade are chill)

Lucidity doesn't need to worry about Shale and Nightshade, because even if they weren't attached to him they know damn well that they'd get fucking skewered--at best--if they tried anything like that.

Lucidity doesn't need to worry about literally anyone else from the manor because they're all afraid to piss him off (also tbh jade probably doesn't notice anything's wrong with this anyway. maybe he thinks lucidity's acting a little weird but that's probably about it)

Dark...Dark might get a little bit of that. Dark 100% notices that shit's fucked, and is the most likely to try and convince Nightmare to get out of there (he's trying to jade to realize he needs to get away from Shale, and that's at least twice as dangerous). But Dark doesn't want to get stabbed, either. And Lucidity intentionally Doesn't Mess With Him for the same reason Nightshade avoids messing with Nightmare too much: He knows Nightshade would be fucking furious if he hurt Dark, and even if he didn't think Nightshade could hurt him, Lucidity can't do that to him.

so Dark mostly gets a lot of warning looks, as Lucidity gets Nightmare away from him. Lucidity isn't sure what he could, would, or should do if Dark actually tried something.

the funniest (and probably safest, for Lucidity) option would be to pick Dark up by the back of his shirt and put him in one of the cells in the basement while Lucidity goes to tell Nightshade what happened. He's not hurt, and he can't try anything else to get Nightmare away from Lucidity. Everyone wins! except dark. Dark is both baffled and offended that Lucidity put him in time-out like a fucking toddler. But he's still unharmed so it's fine

~

There's no way in hell they're going to be able to keep Nightmare from leaving the manor at all, without trapping him in one room or threatening extreme bodily harm. Which, as much as Shale may have rubbed off on him, Lucidity absolutely will not do. Nor will he let Shale do it. Maybe an empty threat that Lucidity pretends he doesn't know about, to scare Nightmare, but likely not. Nightmare came into the manor and one of the first things he did was figure out the power dynamics, the social hierarchy, and figure out specifically how much sway Lucidity has over Shale and Nightshade.

the answer to that last one is: A surprising amount. especially in regards to something very important to Lucidity to the point where he'd even hurt them if they tried to mess with it. Nightmare is one such thing. So if Shale threatens him, Lucidity's gonna hear about it as soon as Nightmare has a contingency plan for if Shale still manages to grab him and fuck him up for tattling

So, yeah. Nightmare can come and go. It is discouraged in other ways, but Nightmare still leaves fairly regularly. Especially if Cross and Error didn't come with him to the manor. He just refuses to be cooped up in that big-ass house.

on the bright side, since Nightmare isn't known to have any affiliation with Lucidity, this means Nightmare can take Champ for long walks! Champ is having a great time

...oh. speaking of pets. Kevin. Nightmare ain't leaving Kevin behind. Kevin comes with him.

Shale is about to have a fucking aneurysm.

Nightshade is dreaming of fresh chicken tenders.

Lucidity spends like three days trying to figure out why the chicken seems so familiar before remembering the chicken Nightmare adopted when they were kids. who was also named kevin. and looked like a hen and had one blue eye and one orange. also kevin is oddly. negative. for a chicken.

"nightmare. how many kevins have there been."

"Huh?"

"Why does this Kevin look so much like the one you adopted when we were kids?"

"...Under advice of council, i have no idea what you're trying to imply."

"Nightmare did you feed that chicken a negative apple"

"i have no idea what you're talking about"

"You fed a chicken a magic apple and now he's immortal."

"Your honor, it was only for scientific experimentation"

"night i swear to god"

Lucidity is entirely unsurprised. but he's laughing

~

Somehow, against all odds, Lucidity has become somewhat physically affectionate????? It was probably Nightshade's doing. so nightmare ends up with Lucidity coming up behind him and hugging him, or taking his hand, or keesing the top of his head. Not as often as you may expect from some people, but way more than Nightmare ever expected

there was also some of that before Nightmare caved and decided to stay with Lucidity. Which was probably doing more of the heavy lifting with the 'convincing' then Lucidity realized and even more than Nightmare was willing to admit. But it still wasn't nearly as often

once Nightmare realizes how casually Lucidity's doing it, he falls a little bit further. how long was lucidity wanting this? How long had he been waiting for Nightmare? ough

that's not intentional, but Lucidity certainly isn't complaining

~

If Nightmare isn't at that level of comfort with Shale and/or Nightshade, he gets his own room rather than just moving into the polycule's shared bedroom (which is officially still just Shale's, but lucidity hasn't slept in his own room in ages). And Lucidity sorta switches between Shale and Nightmare's rooms at night

and oh nightmare is being so normal about Lucidity holding Nightmare to his chest and kissing him softly goodnight. super normal about Lucidity gently wrapping his big warm wings around nightmare.

so like. lucidity and his version of nightmare.

Officially the nature of Lucidity's feelings regarding Nightmare is up to interpretation, but due to the nature of DreamSwap, damn near anything is possible. and i'm gonna just play with the idea of it being romantic for a bit.

Nightmare definitely had a crush on Dream when they were kids. Like. That's actually canon. Dream I don't think ever knew.

Lucidity certainly didn't.

But if any of those feelings remain, Lucidity will notice pretty quickly now. Unless him going evil has finally made Nightmare go 'oh jesus christ no', which I find unlikely since Nightmare also finds out that Lucidity still cares about him at about the same time. that's going to complicate things a bit.

i could go on this tangent about a hyper-specific scenario i had in my head, but it'd involve way too much backstory about an overly complicated AU that isn't ready to be shared yet, so i'll just stow that away and pull out the basic themes of it.

If Lucidity ever happens upon Nightmare when he's in danger, Lucidity won't hesitate to try and save him. Generally Nightmare doesn't get into the kind of trouble where he needs saving, but Lucidity's fucking paranoid about losing people, so he just swoops in and gets rid of the problem as fast as possible no matter how small it is, or if Nightmare seems to be handling it just fine.

This wouldn't change if, somehow, probably through some outside interference, their destiny bond was broken.

if Nightmare's crush hasn't fully gone away, and if Lucidity really does save his ass from certain doom, that crush is going to suddenly come back like 10x worse and he's going to be a mess about it.

Lucidity would love to have Nightmare stay with him, Shale, and Nightshade. If he wasn't absolutely convinced that Nightmare's moral compass was so strong he'd only agree so he could try and stop them from their shit by messing stuff up from the inside, he'd have given the offer to Nightmare ages ago. This applies to non-romantic versions as well, but in the romantic version Lucidity is also looking for a way for him, Shale, and Nightshade to get along. His boyfriends don't all have to date, but they need to be able to peacefully co-exist. otherwise things are going to be. uh. difficult

He's right about Nightmare, though. Even if Nightmare's romantic feelings for him got turned up to 11, he's not just going to run off with him. He's kind of thinking about it, but in a 'how can i get him to Not Do This and just stay with me' way, rather than 'would it really be so bad? it's not like he's going to hurt me. or people I care about. ...right?'

cross and error would be teasing Nightmare about being a disaster gay, but they're a little more concerned that he's considering it at all. In any way. He's also really distressed about this, and they absolutely understand why! no fucking idea how to help him though.

All that said, Lucidity is trying to figure something out. He doesn't necessarily need Nightmare to love him (romantically), he just needs to make absolutely fucking sure that Nightmare stays near and stays safe. And is happy staying with him, without trying to interfere. romantic feelings can be considered afterwards.

I have no idea if that's going to work out for him. It probably will in one timeline, because i love making things worse, but I'm not sure how yet, or if that will be the main timeline.

I do know that it'll be a hell of a lot harder so long as Cross and Error are there. Even if Nightmare's too busy being a fucking disaster to remember-slash-notice, those two are absolutely going to notice that lucidity's being Weird. And his boyfriends are, too. They might not pick up on what exactly it is but they'll figure it out eventually. And they're certainly not letting nightmare go off alone to see Lucidity and his boyfriends; especially not fucking Shale

'fucking shale' (adjective + noun; derogatory) doesn't have the same ring to it as 'fucking obsidian' (adjective + noun; derogatory)

Nightmare might think they're overreacting sometimes, but they've konwn each other long enough and been through enough together that, unless lucidity can talk to him alone and make him doubt his friends, he absolutely trusts their judgement. Even if Lucidity does get him alone, Nightmare knows that Lucidity never had a great opinion of Cross, so pretty much anything negative he says about her is going to be taken with a whole mountain of salt chunks. And once he starts on Cross, Nightmare will be more dubious about anything negative Lucidity says about Error.

Nightmare's very smart. And he's had some bad run-ins with people. He knows to look out for certain things. He knows he shouldn't trust Lucidity after he's clearly lost his head and has been hanging out with a couple of nasty bastards (whom night may or may not know are manipulative pieces of shit anyways).

Unfortunately, he (and also Cross and Error, admittedly) is still having trouble believing that Lucidity's changed this much in such a short amount of time. The Lucidity he knew before, who ran Justice Reigns, wouldn't try to turn him against his friends just for his own gain. The Lucidity he knew before wouldn't try to manipulate him at all. And if his crush has gotten way way stronger, that's...that's probably going to color his perception a bit. No matter how hard he tries to do otherwise.

Also. As a general rule I consider breaking the destiny bond a Good Thing. While neither of them are likely to try to get themselves killed, it’s nice to know that they’re not going to die for the other’s mistakes.

Lucidity would not want it to be broken. Particularly in the context i mentioned above, where someone is trying to kill Nightmare, but very much wants Lucidity alive. This means that destiny bond is more or less keeping Nightmare alive.

He wouldn’t think much of it normally, without influence from wholly different multiverses. But if anyone’s actively trying to sever the destiny bond they almost definitely want one of them dead, and Lucidity is going to assume its Nightmare until further notice. And he isn’t going to let that happen if he has anything to say about it.

[threewaywithdelusion]

What is with the slew of out of character All For The Game fics?

This is going to be rant-y and full of spoilers, so feel free to skip. Trigger warnings for anything mentioned in the books (if you’re reading this and you’re not in the fandom, mostly SA).

What the hell is going on? I’ve been reading in this fandom for 5 years and while there are still some really excellent fics being published these days, there are also so, so many that are out of character.

The rise of the Kevaaron ship terrifies me. Who is shipping this? Aaron is extremely homophobic and very in love with Katelyn. These are two very important aspects of his character. His homophobia is a major source of conflict between him and Andrew and him and Nicky, and while you can have him learn and grow in a fic (and some people have written that really well!), I think making him gay/bi/whatever takes away from that. Also, he really, really loves Katelyn. Enough to date her in secret for a year while risking Andrew’s wrath. Enough to fight for her. Enough to agree to go to therapy with Andrew. Loving Katelyn is a really important part of Aaron’s character and I feel like people are throwing it away because they want all the main characters to be paired off with each other. What do Kevin and Aaron even have in common?

But that’s not even my main issue. I’ve been scrolling through AFTG fics for the past few days, trying to find one that is both up my alley and that I haven’t already read. And there’s a really strange amount of fics where Andrew and/or Neil are out of character? There are fics where Neil says “please” in front of Andrew. There are fics (not future fics) where they don’t ask “yes or no” before touching each other. There are fics where Andrew has good communication skills and openly comforts Neil. Why is he doing that?! Andrew’s methods for comforting Neil are putting a hand on the back of his neck, telling him to stop freaking out, and saying comforting things like “your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay.” (The Raven King). And IT WORKS. Neil finds Andrew’s apathy comforting. Andrew may go to therapy, but he doesn’t talk like it. Please stop writing him like he does.

Also, what’s with all the sex AUs? I understand that people want to write whatever AUs they like in whatever fandom they like. But there’s been an explosion of fics where Neil and Andrew are porn stars/fuckbuddies/Neil’s a prostitute. In this fandom more than any other, that makes no sense. When people write fanfic AUs, they are taking the canon characters and setting them in a new world. And in order to do that, they have to keep certain core characteristics about the characters the same. Neither Neil nor Andrew would ever be the type to have casual sex, and that is an IMMUTABLE CHARACTERISTIC for both of them. (I’m not saying Andrew would never sleep with strangers. I’m saying he would be extremely careful and would never let his walls down with his one night stand). Andrew’s trauma happened early in his life and has completely shaped the person he has become. If you excise it from the story and make him completely free-spirited about sex, you’re writing about a different character. That is not Andrew Minyard.

I’m also convinced some of you don’t understand how asexuality works. Neil is demisexual, which means he needs a deep emotional connection with someone to be attracted to them. This means he would never be attracted to Andrew unless and until he knew and trusted him. He would not have sex with Andrew once upon meeting him and suddenly like sex. It’s not about Andrew just existing as a person! It’s about how Neil feels about Andrew. Sexual attraction and libido are also two completely different things, so a person can feel horny but without wanting to do anything about it or involve another person. (Neil never seems to experience this in canon, but it’s possible he could experience it). There are some really great fics in the fandom that accurately portray Neil’s sexuality! I just wish more people were careful when writing Neil because he’s one of the very few canonically ace characters in media and I don’t think people are necessarily trying to change his sexuality but I think they’re forgetting it’s a valid and important part of his character and writing attraction how they experience it.

Please do your research before writing! I know fanfic is for fun and for free and something people do with their spare time. There’s no rules and you can do whatever you want! If you want to completely ignore this post, that is your prerogative. I’m just getting really frustrated trying to find a fic to read that is not out of character and I needed to vent my frustrations.

If you understand why this is happening (especially with more recent fics) please comment and let me know! Im genuinely curious. And if you have fic recs, please leave them! I’ve read all the big ones, but I’d love recs for less popular but very in-character stories.

[academiaipromise]

everything i want everyone to know about the return of true tv pt 2 (riverdale season 7 episode 2)

jughead (who of course no longer remembers the present storyline) submitted a story to a comics company and they STOLE it i get it jughead i really do

oh thank god we’re having a sock hop this week 

fun fact about this comic book theft storyline is that every person i know (including me) who works in creative industries has a story like this. i feel like someone in the writers room is taking out some frustration. protect your work!!!! no one else will.

i forgot to say last week but betty and kevin are dating in this timeline...so i’m sure that’s gonna go well. i wrote this comment about kevin famously being a flaming homosexual with no regard for his own safety but i am watching archie and betty dance together and they actually might be the more immediate issue 

ETHEL “WE’RE GONNA BE A SHIP” MUGGS IS BACK (good for shannon purser i guess?) 

“we’ve been dating for months and we’re not even going steady yet...you haven’t even pinned me yet.” i’m in PAIN. 

they introduced clay walker in this episode, who is kevin’s husband in archie comics. eat your heart out mcu film bros i am an easter egg master. 

ARCHIEKINS has made its first appearance in the 50s timeline

i somehow missed how toni moved here an episode ago and joined a gang. sorry to those who rely on me paying enough attention to follow this but there’s a lot going on. anyways, she is threatening the sock hop! so cheryl has narrowed in on her enemy (to lover, obviously)! 

archie coming out in his suit that doesn’t fit is very high school musical 3 to me. no further comment. 

“ah jeez mom” AGAIN 50s archie is oddly endearing. 

archie writing a poem for veronica but then giving it to betty to read...i never said the writers weren’t plotting. 

VERONICA INVITED ALL OF THE POTENTIAL DATES OVER AT THE SAME TIME?! perhaps i am anti girlboss i’m sorry to admit this during the week of barbie supremacy 

“what if we went together?” “like...for kicks?” [i am on my 50s jughead canonically ace agenda i don’t have time to get into it here but this made me laugh] 

molly ringwald is kind of chewing her dialogue a bit good for her she really called her son simple (affectionate) 

maedchen amick is also...kind of terrifying in this episode. i support the older riverdale cast just doing whatever the hell they want at this point 

....is the show. implying that hal cooper was also gay in the way kevin is gay. or am i reading too much into that dialogue. anyways, we don’t have time to get into this. 

is ethel still in a cult in this universe or did everyone get a blank slate? perhaps she’s just still creepy 

betty clearly on her way to ask archie to the sock hop now that veronica is no longer taking him only to be stopped by kevin to give her this PIN so that they can GO STEADY genuinely makes me kind of sad like there is no way for this to end well. pinning someone won’t fix your problems kids!

ethel muggs didn’t show up for the detention she got for drawing her illustrations for jughead’s story and hurray! they got the job! take back ownership of your work kids

fangs breaking out into tutti frutti really got my “watched grease/other 50s-setting content as a kid” fight or flight instinct 

damn if my principal singled me out to wax homophobic righteousness i think i would have to resort to something drastic 

well okay cool yeah happy the creepy music following ethel around went somewhere (the sock hop episode ended by implying ethel killed her parents). 

important follow-up: again, the episode ended with ethel, covered in blood, saying “something terrible’s happened.” this was the immediate trailer for the next episode:

anyways. who’s excited for veronica’s make out party??? (my eye twitched writing this)

[nataliedanovelist]

GF AU - Mystery Husbands Part Like the Sea

Hey guys! A gift for my very good friend, @jackyjackdraws ! I hope you like it!

After all is said and done, Stan accepts Ford’s offer to sail the Arctic Ocean. Initially, Stan’s husband is ecstatic, but as the fact that they will be apart seeps in, emotional chaos ensues.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kevin made some excuse about a shower so the twins could talk alone, and in the time it took for the old Irishman to undress, shower, and redress in pajamas, the brothers were talking in the hall. Some of his husband’s cons and sneakiness must have rubbed off on him, because he couldn’t help himself and he leaned against the bedroom door.

“… my house back, you give me my name back, and this whole Mystery Shack nonsense is over forever, you got it?”

There was a pause, and Kevin used the silence to ask himself if he really just heard that.

“Are you kidding me?” Stan asked darkly.

“No, I’m not. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, Stanley.”

“So asking an entire family to leave their home, asking my husband to leave the home we’ve shared for thirty years, to tell our kids they can’t come back to the home we raised them in, is reasonable?” Stan asked, taking a step forward, making Ford dip back a bit.

“Well, it’s not my fault you dragged your family into this.” Ford gritted his teeth with a red face.

“What else was I supposed to do?! Abandon my family to try to bring you back?! Leave you out there to die, or worse?!” Stan growled in his throat and waved a hand, batting the topic away. “Whatever, the point is, we’ve both paid the mortgage, raised our kids here, and have built a life for ourselves, more than you can say you did in the six years you were here! No one even cared you were gone!” Stan harshly reminded his brother, and while he regretted the addiction comment a little, for once he was glad he told the truth.

“So, no! We’re not leaving! I’m not having my husband go homeless cuz my own brother doesn’t care about his family!”

And Ford turned his back as Stan marched away, heading for bed.

Kevin quickly laid in bed, his back to the door, so his husband could have a moment to collect himself.

In the darkness, Stan took a heavy breath, threw his suit off, and climbed into bed. His back was to Kevin, but the bearded man knew someone needed snuggles, so without a word he turned Stan into a little spoon, and they both fell into a less-than-peaceful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

After watching his own husband forget who Kevin was - hell, forget Stan Pines himself - then slowly regain it over a few days, volunteering to help rebuild the town, making repairs at home, and attending a big birthday party, Kevin was emotionally drained and exhausted beyond belief. Maybe a quick smoke would give him enough strength to finish the party, and then collapse into bed with Stan.

So when Kevin was around the house, puffing a cigar, he heard footsteps and voices, and quickly put his cigar out in case it was one of the kids.

“I didn’t want to say anything with everyone listening, but we’ve got a problem.” Ford stated. Kevin was a little tired of eavesdropping on their private conversations, so he shook his head and walked around the other side of the house to rejoin the party, trusting the love of his life would share this interaction with him if it was important.

“Weirdmageddon has been contained,” Ford explained. “But I’m detecting some strange, new anomalies near the Arctic Ocean. I want to go investigate it, but Ithink I might be too old to go it alone.” He hinted at, with a small, hopeful smile.

“Are you sayin’ you need someone to help you sail around the world on the adventure of a lifetime?” Stan asked, just as hopeful, but life had taught him that if something was too good to be true, it definitely was. Then again…

“I don’t just want someone to come with me, Stanley,” Ford corrected gently, pulling an old picture out of his trenchcoat. “I want it to be you. Will you give me a second chance?”

Stan accepted the picture, grinning, and asked to lighten the mood, “You think we’ll finally find some treasure?”

Ford chuckled and punched his shoulder. “I’d say there’s a high probability.”

Stan returned the quiet laughter and said, “Yeah, I’ll do it. I’ll go sailing with you. Just lemme talk to Kevin about it and settle a few things.”

“Of course!” Ford said. “It’s not like we’re leaving tomorrow. Take as much time as you need making arrangements.”

Stan nodded, handed him the photo, and turned to rejoin the party, but his brother placed a six-fingered hand on his shoulder. “And Stan…”

The conman looked over his shoulder, and he was surprised to find his brother the happiest he looked in… well, his memory wasn’t the greatest, but he swore he never saw Ford look so happy.

“Thank you.”

Stan smiled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well… you’re welcome.”

As Stan was walking back to the crowd of the party, he saw Kevin chit chatting with McGucket, but the old hillbilly was distracted when Mabel ran up to him, thanking him for her birthday present, and so Stan stole the opportunity to strut up to the man he loved like a proud peacock.

Right as Kevin saw him and waved, Stan grabbed his raised hand, dipped him as much as their old backs would let them (which wasn’t much), and kissed him.

Most of the folks at the party were too distracted by their own small worlds to notice, but Pacifica made a face before correcting herself, smiling and shrugging, and Mabel awed with shining eyes.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Kevin laughed as Stan stood them up straight. “Who gave you a hundred pounds in gold?”

“C’mere!” Stan, like a excited child, pulled Kevin by the hand over to the snack table, where it was a tad more private, and said with a huge radiant smile, “Ford’s asked me to go sailing with him!”

Kevin stared, but then smiled back and held his husband by the forearms. “Really?”

“Yeah! He asked me to go sailing to the Arctic Ocean with him, to check out some anomaly sightings, and I said I’d go.”

“Dead on! It’s what you’ve wanted since you were a kid, right? I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and guess since he’s asked you to sail with him and you said yes that you two have made up?” He clarified, raising an eyebrow.

Stan beamed, grateful that his life-partner was taking the news so well, and shrugged. “Well, yeah. I guess there’s some things you can’t come out of and not make amends, and defeating an all-knowing, one-eyed triangle is one of them.”

“Well, I’m happy for you.” Kevin said, moving his hand down to his palm and squeezing his hand. “Soos and I can hold the fort while you’re away.”

“That’s another thing… I think Soos is due for a promotion.”

“I agree.”

~~~~~~~~~~

And so the old twins scheduled to leave for the sea two weeks after the young twins left Gravity Falls. After a family meeting with Soos to tell him that Kevin would be training him to take over the Mystery Shack someday and that Stan was leaving for the Arctic Ocean and wouldn’t be back until the next summer, reality of the sudden change was seeping in.

Packed boxes, covering more tours so Stan could plan with Ford, short dinners or some split in half, bringing the brothers their food in the basement as they poured over maps and satellite readings, it was slowly dawning on Kevin that his husband was leaving.

He had been honest at the birthday party! He was happy that Stan and Ford had made up, and were finally fulfilling their lifelong dream! But bitter thoughts were crawling into his skull the longer he was alone with his thoughts.

How long have you two been together? What all have you been through together? And he’d still rather leave with him than stay here with you? Bullshit.

He hasn’t seen his brother in thirty years! If Stan wants to go sailing around the world with him, he should.

But how long will he be gone? Will he even come back?

He’ll come back. He always comes back.

Kevin smiled at the sleeping form of his husband, watching him sleep in the dim light of the moon.

Okay, but still. Stan’s really gonna go with that… that asshole?! Stan put you and your family through hell to get Ford back, and what did he do? Punch him in the fucking mouth!

They’ve made up! If Stan can forgive him, so can I.

It isn’t fair! You’ve given everything up for this man! And he’s leaving you! He’s abandoning you!

That’s not true! Just because we’re married doesn’t mean he has to be glued to my hip! I’ll support him in anything he decides to do.

Bullshit! We’ve supported him for THIRTY! FUCKING! YEARS! He owes you this! Don’t let him go!

Kevin sat up and rubbed his forehead. This was bullshit. He was never going to get any sleep like this. He decided to silently creep to the kitchen for water.

He mentally scolded himself, as if he was scolding a child who was throwing a tantrum. We don’t say things like that, we don’t think things like that. He knew Stan loved him very much, and if the tables were turned, Stan would be happy for him and want him to go, be supportive every step of the way, so that is what he is going to do.

Now the inner voice was pitiful and sad. As Kevin reached for a glass, he thought to himself, But I’ll miss him. And he could shake that sinking, lonely, dreadful feeling away.

He went to the sink, but a shiny bottle on top of the fridge caught his eye. Maybe a little drink to make him sleepy.

Kevin poured himself a small splash and swallowed. The taste was bitter, like his thoughts. So for good measure he took another mouthful and sat at the table to wait for the drowsiness to settle in.

I don’t want him to go. I love him. I’ll miss him.

Too bad.

Kevin scrubbed at his stinging eyes. This was stupid. He was stupid. He just had to hold it in until Stan was gone.

“Wanna share some of that?”

Speak of the devil. Stan stood at the doorway, shirtless and in his boxers, smiling with a bit of confusion and concern on the edges of his face.

Kevin smiled and jerked his head to a chair. “It ain’t black stuff, but help yourself.”

Stan sat and stole Kevin’s glass, pouring himself a swallow and asking, “What made you open the bar so late?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Just wasn’t tired.”

Stan took his shot, then offered smugly, “We don’t have to sleep in bed, y’know.”

Kevin looked away with a roll of his eyes.

Stan grabbed his hand, kissed it, then started kissing down his arm, scooting his chair closer as he worked to his shoulder, hoping to kiss his neck. “Mm, you did always look…”

“Stanley,” Kevin warned, freeing his hand from his grip, and Stan sat up straight. The Irishman cleared his throat, and attempted to sound calm and normal. “M’sorry, m’just not in the mood, lad.”

“That’s okay.” Stan assured, a hand on his shoulder. “We could watch a movie, or go back to bed and cuddle, or… if you wanna talk…”

“What’s there to talk about?” He asked calmly. A little too calmly.

Stan raised an eyebrow, his eyes unable to meet Kevin’s, as he was refusing to look at him. “Well, it’s not like I’m an expert at reading people or anything, or have been with you nearly all our lives, but I think you’re mad at me. So I’d like the chance to fix it if you’d let me.”

The Irishman finally turned and looked at Stan, and he was a bit taken back to see such fire in his eyes, a furious scowl over his beard. “Oh please, what would I be mad at you for?” Kevin asked sarcastically. “That you saved the world? That I nearly lost you? Nah, stay on your rocker, lad.”

Kevin stood up, grabbed the bottle, and put it back on top of the fridge.

Stan sighed. He figured this would happen. “Look, babe, I’m sorry you had to see me like that…”

“It’s fine. I’m not mad.”

“Are you really trying to lie to me?” Stan asked, amused and trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m not mad about that!” Kevin shouted, turning to face him again, feeling a little better that he was standing and his husband was sitting, making it easier to scold him. “I understand why you did what you did! And it all worked out! You’re back! It’s fine! I’m not mad about that!”

“But you’re mad about something.” Stan reminded the room.

“WHY?!” Kevin yelled. “Why did you have to agree to go sailing with him, why, Stanley?!”

Stan was surprised for a moment, but then ashamed for his miscalculation. “Oh.”

“Why, Stanley?! I mean, really?! The Arctic Ocean?! Lord knows you’ll freeze or get eaten by a whale or get lost at sea or fall in love with a siren or some other bullshit! And you didn’t even ask me! You just told me you were going!”

“I thought you said it was stupid for couples to ask for permission to do stuff?”

“It is! But I still want you to ask me permission for important things, like, huh I dunno, LEAVING HOME FOR MONTHS!”

“Sweetheart, I’ll be back by June, and Ford’s been working hard on making sure we can text and call you and the kids whenever we want.”

“That’s another thing!” Kevin went on with his rant. “Just, what, after all that, he thinks he can make it better with a boat and a never-ending guys’ trip?!”

Stan stood up. “Babe, I fucked up, too.” He reminded him firmly. “And this isn’t some…”

“But goddamnit, Stanley Pines!” Kevin yelled, tears pricking his eyes. And he mumbled through his gray beard. “I’m gonna miss you like hell.”

Every so often, in the quiet moments, in between making plans and cracking jokes with his brother, right before bed, Stan had thought about how much he was going to miss his beloved husband, but the excitement of his childhood dream coming true easily distracted him. He had to realize that, unfortunately, Kevin didn’t have such an accessible distraction from his pain.

“Aw, Kev…” Stan stood and Kevin allowed him to bring him into a hug. Kevin only allowed a tear or two to dot Stan’s hairy shoulder, but damn it, if he wasn’t going to cling to Stan like he was a life-preserver out at sea.

“I get why you have to go.” Kevin muttered. “I really get it. And I want you to go. But… fuck. I love you, Stan. And I’m gonna miss you so bad…”

“I’ll miss you, too, babe.” Stan kissed the top of his head and mumbled against his skin. “You’re my family, my entire world. I love you. You know that. And I know you know I have to go. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you in this situation. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Maybe my life would’ve been… simpler without, that’s true.” Kevin admitted with a tiny smile.

“But I’ll never say sorry for being in your life.” Stan said, also smiling, almost cocky-like. “I have to be with you.”

“Good. I don’t want your apology.”

“Good.” Stan loosened his grip to look at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” And Kevin kissed him, a hand on the back of Stan’s hand, fingers in his gray hair.

And they stood like that. For only five minutes, or half an hour, or eternity. Who’s to say? The old couple just held each other and reminisced the blessing in even having someone to love like this. But eventually their old legs were becoming sores, their energies were running low, and they surrendered themselves to cuddles in their small bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a four hour drive from their hometown, stopping at Eugene for lunch, Soos, Stan, Ford, and Kevin arrived at Coos Bay, where a lovely, brand new Stan O War II stood proudly on the water, waiting to be taken away. Unloading Soos’ truck of scientific tools and supplies, and the Stanmobile of luggage and personal belongings, it took about an hour of all four men working to pack up the ship and have everything settled in nicely.

It was nice to see the boat in all it’s glory. Kevin saw the comfortable couch nailed to the floor, fully-stocked kitchen, cozy bunk beds, working shower, and anything else the twins would need while out at sea. It was also easier when he saw Stan running around as joyful as a child. Easier, but still hard to let him go.

At long last, they had to say goodbye.

Ford held out a hand to Kevin while Soos tearfully hugged Stan so tightly his feet left the ground. “Well, it was nice to meet you, Kevin. Thanks for the chess games. And of course for keeping an eye on my brother.” He added, hoping things were wel between them.

Kevin smiled and shook his hand. “Yeah, o’course, lad. Just make sure ya take good care of him.” He joked, but there was a hint of a plea behind his beard.

“I will.” Ford said seriously, with a kind smile. “I promise.”

Kevin made a manly pat on his shoulder, and Ford turned to climb onto the ship, and give Stan a minute to say goodbye to his loved ones.

“Alright, alright! Lemme go! Kev! Got a crowbar?” Stan called.

Soos put him down and grabbed his cap. “S-Sorry, Mr. Mystery.”

Stan smiled, took off his fez, and placed it on Soos’ head. “You’re Mr. Mystery. You just make sure Kevin doesn’t burn down the place.”

“Oy!”

Soos, blushing, saluted his boss. “You got it, Mr. Pines!”

Stan and Kevin looked at each other, then hugged each other tightly.

“I’ll call you every Friday. And text you every day.”

“Yeah, I know you will.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Kevin ruffled his exposed hair. “I’m really proud of you.”

Stan blushed. “You’re a good man. I won’t be mad if you go up with a hot babe or two while I’m away.”

Kevin laughed and made a face. “Nah, you’re the only pain for me.”

Stan snorted, stole a kiss, but Kevin dragged him into another long hug.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

They let the moment last as long as possible, but all good things must come to an end. So new good things can begin.

Kevin let Stan go, and he climbed up onto the boat and released the rope, just as Ford started the engine, and the boat started to glide away from the dock as Kevin and Soos waved it away.

“Oh, Stan,” Ford said, almost in a scolding manner, and pulled out a red beanie from his coat and placed it on Stan’s head. “You’ve got to keep your ears warm.”

“Alright, Ma, but I don’t see your hat!”

“Well if you don’t want the beanie I picked up for you…”

“I didn’t say that, keep your hands off me!”

The twins playfully bickered as they slowly became tiny dots out at sea. Kevin laughed, already missing his husband’s banter, quirks, laugh, smile, whatever have you, but somehow, magically, seeing him so happy on that boat, seeing him well taken care of and safe, it was easier to let him go.

Still hard, but easier.

[kariachi]

Birthday Ask: Anything Argit 10?

Okay, listen, I know DJW said Argit 10 got his watch off Azmuth but as funny as the idea of Azmuth being that hard up with gambling debts is it is just not interesting enough for me and leaves me with too many questions that don't get answered. So, we've got a few options!

Normally I write Argit as having been born and raised in the Null Void and here that would continue to be the case, with the ship containing the Omnitrix having ended up through a portal in it's fleeing from Vilgax, presumably crashing and as a result one each small Erinaen digging through wreckage gets a hell of a surprise (bonus points if he's still with his family when this happens, because I've been writing his Ma as having history with Vilgax ever since Mel suggested it and she would 100% sell her own kid to her on-and-off boytoy with no hesitation). His getting it at all would be made possible via one of the two following

Argit isn't born and raised in the Null Void and so gets his watch the same way the Ben got his, with the answer to the question of "wait didn't the watch latch onto Ben because it was programmed for Max and went 'close enough'?" being "no, in this universe one of Argit's relatives was higher on the list than Max was and so-"

Argit isn't born and raised in the Null Void and so gets his watch the same way the Ben got his, with the answer to the question of "wait didn't the watch latch onto Ben because it was programmed for Max and went 'close enough'?" being "yes, that is precisely the case- would you like to explain some things to the class, Maxwell?"

Final 'option I would find interesting as hell'- we go with the 'Vilgax is Argit's pa' au, which is rarely used but incredibly amusing, with this Vilgax almost getting the Omnitrix for himself when it- either because a relative on his ma's side was deemed worthy or because this one wasn't programmed or whatever- latches itself onto his 12-yo

That last one is really fun because then you get the fucking drama of parent v child (and Ari getting the news and laughing her tail off). But any one of those would be interesting as fuck and lead to some interesting storylines just from the base concept. (Come on, look at any Tennyson variant and tell me the fucking reveal alone wouldn't be worth it. The juxtaposition between 'how many relatives do we have that you haven't told us about', 'holy shit he fucked a space-rat', and 'holy shit we're related to a superhero')

And a very important portion- in my shit it is a consistent fact of the multiverse that ever Kevin has an Argit and every Argit has a Kevin and so, he needs a Kevin. You could twist shit around there to make something work with his normal chimera storyline, but I don't care to for this. Argit 10 winds up on some backwoods mudball planet at some point or another (early on, late, who the fuck knows, at some point), finds a local he gets on with like white on rice, and with whom he readily teams up to greater success, takes with him when he leaves. ("He stole me." "You agreed to come.") Kevin's still got shit going on, but Argit handles it in a more Kevin-keeping manner than Ben did (the difference between "wtf we don't hurt people what's wrong with you" and "okay but what about if we did this instead") redirects his shit until he chills out with time, support, and even vague security. If he still does the whole chimera thing, it's under much better circumstances.

I feel like Argit would go more the stealth route than Ben. He doesn't prefer to get up in the middle of things and would rather rogue his way through. Also uses his proper form more often than other Omnitrix wielders, mostly because it's actively useful. He uses the Omnitrix for disguises mostly, and those occasions he has to fight somebody (and gripes the whole time about this being why he has Kevin damnit), sometimes for just useful abilities, like if he's got to get somewhere on a close deadline or flight would be handy. For the most part he doesn't even want to be doing the hero thing, but shit just keeps fucking happening (not helped by Kevin being a trouble magnet) and he keeps getting stuck in it.

Also, because the idea amuses me- Rook still eventually gets involved. Argit will happily take opportunities to have people give him money to use his likeness with downright glee, so the shows Rook got all caught up in are still a thing and he leaves home to try to get his hero to help him become a hero himself. Imagine his surprise when when the guy the shows portrayed as this Robin Hood-meets-Batman figure turns out to be a morally grey reluctant hero who knows too much about and is too happy to engage in crime, and the guy portrayed as a bumbling sidekick turns out to be the most dangerous, if friendlier, of the pair.

And he can keep Master Control from DJW's comments, that can be what he gets off Azmuth, because the gambling debt thing does amuse me so.

[agent-bash]

i for some reason made it headcannon that haileys two older brothers names are derek and tyler? i’ve made that up in my head since she started on the show and we found out she has brothers and it’s stuck for me. what do you think? i also like to think that she has somewhat a relationship with them? they’re not bffs per say but they did go through a lot together as kids. we finally got to meet kevin’s father, let’s hope we meet haileys family because we have nothing on her but i doubt it. sigh

I mean this is the good thing about them bringing stuff up and then not touching it, we’re free to think and speculate whatever the hell we want.

I’ve posted a bunch of my own head canons about Hailey and her brother. Just to separate Hailey from Tracy a little I say she has 3 and one is a twin (Hailey is 10 minutes older, the most important 10 minutes of her life thank you very much). She’s got a good relationship with her twin brother and eldest brother but her middle brother has just kind of fucked right off and wants nothing to do with any of his family.

[lokiondisneyplus]

Most Marvel post-credit scenes hint at the future. Loki opted for a blunter approach: the God of Mischief would return in season 2.

Based on the final turn of events, there was really no other choice: Loki (Tom Hiddleston), having journeyed to the furthest point in spacetime with his variant Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) to meet the founder of the TVA, a scientist-turned-survivor-of-multiversal-war known as He Who Remains (Jonathan Majors), finds himself zapped into a new reality when his lady self slays the omnipresent being. The mind reels!

Creator Michael Waldron takes delight in the endless possibilities of Loki’s core premise. And as a veteran of Rick and Morty, he knows what anchors a mind-bending show, and what will keep Hiddleston’s character hurtling through his chaotic, rewritten future. Below, Polygon talks to Waldron about landing on the key choices of Loki season 1, what to expect from season 2, and a bit on his next project, the wrestling drama Heels, which is set to premiere on Aug. 15.

Did you know there’d be a second season of Loki from the beginning or was that choice made later in the process?

Michael Waldron: We always knew that it was a possibility. We always knew that we wanted to propel Loki and these characters out into the MCU after this, into further stories. But that didn’t really crystallize as a sure thing until we were in production and everything. And as we were really figuring out the finale.

So you were still cracking the ending as you shot the show?

There was a hiatus due to the pandemic. So things were constantly being retooled because of that. I think, by and large, everything with He Who Remains and the Sylvie-Loki conflict was always there. But that cliffhanger was the sort of thing that suddenly became a really appealing opportunity, a chance for that to lead into a second season.

What element of the series helped you crack the macro story of Loki, and made all the other pieces fall into place? Each episode almost feels like a standalone adventure, similar to Rick and Morty, but what helped it all click?

The first couple of weeks in the writers room was just laying out the individual episodes. It was very important to me that each episode stood on its own, and you could say “This is the Lamentis episode,” “This is the apocalypse moon episode,” “This is the Void episode.” I didn’t want it to just be cut up chapters and have one long continuous story. Obviously, we had to figure out the time travel for things to slot into place. I think a big idea for us was the way you get around the TVA by hiding in apocalypses. That felt like such a big, cool, exciting idea that it drove the action of episode 2, episode 3, and in a way it’s like Alioth is the ultimate apocalypse that He Who Remains is hiding behind. That sci-fi idea cracked a lot open for us. I know that after we had that I went home and I slept a little sounder.

Did adding the multiverse to the Marvel Cinematic Universe feel like blowing something up or expanding it, in terms of narrative possibilities?

In the same way that after the first couple Iron Man movies, and with the first Avengers, suddenly these movies were kind of going to space. Then we had Guardians. I think of the multiverse as another version of that. It’s new ground to cover, and particularly interesting because characters meeting other versions of themselves and other versions of people they know is... cool. That’s just a cool sci-fi concept! But I think with anything, as you expand outward, it only works if the humanity remains. It’s exciting to watch characters dealing with big crazy multiversal conflicts because we can see ourselves in them. I think you just have to hold on to the humanity that makes these stories work in the first place.

Did you go back to the Thor movies for Loki? Was there anything to find in the past of Marvel as you were paving the future?

Absolutely. I mean I watched them many times, contrary to what Twitter might think because I did some bits on there saying that I’ve never seen Avengers and I upset some people [laughs]. I have seen it many times. “Confirmed: Loki writer has seen Avengers and saw it before writing Loki show.”

In fact, I was watching all these movies on a loop in the writers’ room. I gleaned so much because you watch the evolution of the character. Avengers was particularly informative because our story picks up Loki right after that, but I also I found a lot of inspiration in Thor: The Dark World, a maybe sometimes maligned movie that I actually really enjoy. I just think there’s great stuff with Loki being tangentially responsible for the death of his mother, how he reacts to that. That is the start of his journey of that version of Loki’s redemption, so I was inspired by that.

What’s propelling the characters into season 2? Where are you headed in basic terms?

In season 1, you saw a lot of characters reckoning with and questioning their own glorious purpose, and that glorious purpose changing, [characters] realizing that that can change. Everybody except for Sylvie. I think she holds onto hers, which is vengeance, and to the detriment of us all, perhaps. And we’ve got a Loki who, at the top of our show, assessed himself as a villain and, I would argue, at the end of our show, has become a little bit of a hero. There’s nothing more heroic to me than fighting for the right thing and losing. You see that washing over him as he’s there back at the TVA, after Sylvie has knocked back there. And then he gets up because that is what heroes do — they keep going. So I think that you’re gonna see a Loki that looks at himself in a different way certainly that at the top of this.

Do you hope to explore more of Sylvie’s backstory in season 2?

I guess we’ll see. We certainly have our own rich backstory for her, stuff that didn’t get to make it into the show. Elissa Karasik, our episode 2 writer, wrote a lot of amazing backstory for Sylvia and everything. So those ideas exist out there.

And her version of Thor?

Tune in.

How did He Who Remains come about? Did you bring the character to Marvel or was that a character Marvel hoped to introduce?

I was pushing and our team was pushing early on in the writers’ room that it should be a version of Kang up in that Citadel, sort of fusing the mythology of He Who Remains with a little bit of the Immortus mythology. And that was a thing we were excited to do. And it became clear that it actually made sense for our story. The only way we were going to do it was if it made sense, but it was like, who had a better argument for creating the TVA to prevent other versions of themselves from existing then a guy as evil as Kang the Conqueror?

You wrote the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness — did Marvel hire you for that after Loki? Does the movie feel like a continuation of the show?

Yeah, that opportunity came as we were getting ready to start production on Loki. It was a pleasure. I got to work with Sam Raimi, a hero of mine. I was in London for five months making that movie at the top of this year. We had a blast. I think that it’s a continuation in as much as ever every Marvel movie is to some extent a chapter in an ongoing story, but these things are meant to stand alone and the most important thing about Doctor Strange too is making the most kick ass Doctor Strange movie we could.

Is Loki a two-part show now or are you invested in telling a longer story with future seasons beyond season 2?

Time will tell, but I do my hope is that season 1 stands on its own. We always wanted to tell a complete story there. And in whatever the next chapter may be will stand on its own as well.

Your next show, Heels, is already on the way. We got a big preview out of Comic-Con this year, but I’m curious about the scope of this story. You’re starting with two brothers running an independent wrestling franchise, but you’ve dropped the name “Vince McMahon” a few times — is this about the building of an empire? Would you liken it to The Godfather or Breaking Bad?

I always thought about it a little bit of a Scorsese-sort-of rise, and we’ll see if there’s a fall. Starting from humble beginnings and trying to build some crazy. Wrestling was certainly not always the empire that it is and that’s what’s interesting, to watch the evolution of a family-run wrestling business from something you do in your small towns and perhaps a national, even global empire. That would be a really compelling arc for a show over the course of several seasons. I’d be excited to explore that.

What’s the most dramatically fulfilling wrestling moment you’ve witnessed? What’s the bar for the wrestling drama of Heels?

It’s gotta be Hulk Hogan turning heel in the WCW. There was an invasion storyline, these guys from WWF, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, came over and they were the bad guys. It was at a Pay-per-view and and they were beating up on the good guys that you love, and here comes Hulk Hogan in the yellow and red and he’s the hero. “The Hulk’s gonna get ‘em! The good guy’s here!” And then the Hulk just leg drops Randy Savage. That was the original Red Wedding. I just think about the boldness of turning him heel. To a little kid... I wasn’t even like a massive Hulk fan, but he was just such a mythological figure. What a chance that Hulk Hogan took as a performer, as a bankable kind of movie star at that point. That was bold, risky storytelling and it set off two years of amazing storytelling with Hogan just playing a craven, cowardly heel and just being so evil. I really respect the hell out of them for doing that. That was a great storyline.

[imagines-r-s]

sticking it - j. farabee

prologue 

a/n: this prologue just has a lot of information needed to continue the series, but i hope you enjoy!! (also the gif is a visual of what the dismount mentioned is, in the gif it’s only a triple)

taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland @lovenhlboys​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @hockey-racing-fubol​

warnings: mention and description of injury (very brief), sadness, pretty angsty ngl, but there’s happiness in here too 

sticking it masterlist

wc: 2.6k

(gif not mine)

From the first time you stepped into a gym at the age of 3 to now, standing in this arena, you knew this was the place you were intended to be. You quickly leveled up in the sport of gymnastics and quickly excelled in the sport. Although there were many hardships - both mentally and physically - along the way, you never wanted to stop. Your one and only love was this sport, always has been. Always will be. 

As you progressed in your gymnastics career, your first coach, Michelle Watson, saw great promise in you and wanted to help you move up to where she knew you could go. Her brother had an elite gym in Philadelphia and he was willing to train you, so you and Michelle moved to Philadelphia to get you the best training possible. Your family was close enough with Michelle to know that you were in good hands.

 Working with the duo of Michelle and Marcus proved to be one of the best decisions of your life as you quickly became one of the top athletes in your sport. Eventually, you moved up to elite, which meant that you were in the division that would go to the biggest types of competitions in this sport. The biggest competitions with the toughest competition.

With the Olympics fastly approaching, it was the only thing on people’s minds. Even with there still being 15 months until Trials actually started, every meet from now on counted. Having to get a certain all-around score to qualify for the next meet, every skill counted. Even the smallest of deductions could set you apart from the group that qualifies and the group that doesn’t. 

Your family supported all your decisions, but especially your cousin, Kevin. He was undeniably marked as your top supporter, he never once doubted that you would be able to make it to the Olympics one day and he knew that you would go through hell to get there if you needed to. When Kevin went to the Flyers, he happened to get an apartment in the same building that you did, which was also close to your gym and his rink. 

Kevin was able to support you and be there for you just when you needed someone. Whenever you had the time from the season, you were able to go watch some of his games and meet his teammates, who were just as supportive of you as he was. There were more times than none that you would end a showcase or meet and have at least five hockey players waiting for you with a bouquet of roses and a good job. 

Kevin was always there with a good job hug and your favorite kind of fruit snacks, TK and Karly with a simple bouquet of roses, and then Nolan with his pep and smack talk on the other girls competing. 

Your teammates were always there right beside you. You made some of the best friends from gymnastics (and some of the worst enemies), Nicole Carter was the teammate that you were closest with. Always making jokes about both of you would have an equal amount of silver and gold medals to add to your collection. 

Now here you were at the American Cup, which wasn’t the most important meet of the lineup to Tokyo, but you had to keep a watch out for competitors and make sure that you caught people’s eye when competing. During warm-up you did make sure to talk to some of the girls, not everyone was able to have a close teammate, so you wanted them to know that someone there was rooting for them. You were always a team player, even in such an individual sport like this, except for Kathryn Davis. 

Kathryn Davis had always been one of your closest competitors, you weren’t going to say you were the best out there - you weren’t - but at least you kept a good attitude about how well others were doing. Kathryn was not like that, if you were her competition in any way, she would drag you as quick as she could. Starting rumors, talking bad about you during interviews, or distracting you before your routines were her go-to ways of getting to you and there were many occasions where you had to calm down one of the other athletes because of something she did.

Today you weren’t letting anyone get in your way. Although it was a minor meet, there was still a lot on the line. The plan for your beam routine was to bring out a new skill that had never been landed in major competition, a wack plan? Maybe. But since it was a smaller meet if you didn’t land it, the score wouldn’t affect you as much. Your plan was to go through your routine and do a 3.5 twisting dismount, the highest competed had only been a triple twisting dismount, so if you did land it today the skill would be named after you. 

With the event lineup for the meet going vault, bars, beam, then floor, you were starting on floor and ending on beam. Going into auto-pilot for the first three events, you didn’t take note of your scores and you hardly even realized that you were getting ready to salute the judges on beam. Taking a deep breath before you mounted the beam, you started your routine. 

The core parts of a beam routine were flight series - where you got at least some air time in whatever skill you were doing, jumps, turns, dance, and the dismount. When all three of your flight series were landed and you finished your jumps and turns, you were ready for the dismount. 

Taking a few steps to do the round-off, you were now at the end of the beam and could do the twisting part of the dismount. Taking off you started twisting, keeping an eye out for the mat (even if it is a blind landing), you started opening up from the twist to make the landing. The only issue was it was obvious you didn’t get enough height, so the mat was closer than it had been whenever you had practiced many times before, and because of that you landed a triple twist while still turning. 

You knew immediately something was wrong, the popping noise that you weren’t supposed to hear was kind of a dead giveaway, but you turned and saluted the judges like usual, and as you took a step, all the pain from whatever you had just done came to your leg causing you to curl up into a ball holding your knee. 

You could hear Marcus and Michelle becoming louder, but the pain in your knee somehow drowned out everything around you. There was commotion all around you and you felt Marcus reach under your leg to carry you back down, away from the beam. Eventually medical got to you and you were ushered away in a wheelchair towards the ambulance. 

“y/n, look at me, okay? It’s going to be alright, we’re getting you to the hospital and then we’ll get everything figured out,” Michelle said, holding your hand as you were taken towards the Emergency Room. 

“I need you to call Kev, please,” you assumed Kevin had heard what had happened and you didn’t want to stress him even more since you knew he had been at a game and probably heard while he was there. 

“I will, hun, I will,” the doctors got you in a hospital room where they would do what they could right now. With the pain meds, you were able to ignore the pain for a while. Your mom had called you from back home to check in while you waited on Kevin to show up to the hospital. 

“Hey, short stack, you doing alright?” Kevin said as he walked into the hospital room, you took note of TK and Nolan behind him. 

“You only call me short stack because you’re literally a giant,” you giggled, “hey, Tiki Bar. Hi, Patti Lapone.”

“Can I get whatever she’s having?” Nolan interrupted. The three of them stayed in your room as you waited for the doctor to come back with more information about the scans and tests that they ran. The boys were mostly enjoying the fact that you were giggling the whole time, but they were just glad that you weren’t in pain about what was going on. When some of your giggling died down, they realized that eventually you would have to terms with what happened. Kevin knew that you might not come back from this one as easily as you hope to, he had seen so many peoples careers end this way. He didn’t want you to have to go through that. 

“y/n y/l/n, hi, I’m Dr. Brady and we needed to consult you about the results from the scans. Are you sure you want everyone in here when you hear?” Dr. Brady asked cautiously, knowing this was not easy news to break. 

“Yeah, they’re fine in here,” you nodded taking note of how Kevin had walked over to the side of your bed, anxiously waiting to see your reaction rather than whatever the results were. 

“Ok, well with the injury you got today, you will need surgery as soon as possible, which will be in about three weeks. From there it will be 6-9 months of recovery, which includes physical therapy and mobility work, the time will depend on what your physical therapist decides is best-”

“Wait, so I’ll be out for like 10 months?” you asked.

“Yes, could be more, could be less. It really depends.”

“So, when do you think I could consider going back to training?” the air in the room felt tense, you were the one out of the loop here. Everyone around you already knew what was going to happen and that you coming back might not be an option. 

“It would all depend on what your trainer thinks is best right now and there is no guarantee you will be back to your old self after the surgery,” the doctor said with a solemn look on his face, as he was the one who had to break the news. 

“Um, ok. Yeah. When would I be able to go home?” you quickly jumped to the next topic of discussion, which Kevin was shocked about, as were Nolan and Travis. 

“Well, we have to get you pain meds, crutches, and a brace, but once we do that we’ll be able to discharge you. Okay?” you simply nodded. The room went silent as you Dr. Brady walked out. 

“y/n/n? You okay, hun?” Michelle said quietly, getting more nervous when you simply nodded. 

“Yeah, I just want to go home.” 

Kevin, TK, and Nolan knew that you weren’t okay, so they all decided to take you home and make sure you got everything situated while having to deal with this. Finally making it to your apartment after being discharged, you decided to try and take a shower, which proved to be difficult, so you just left the issue for tomorrow. Changing out of your competition leo and into comfortable pajamas, you made your way back out to the kitchen where the guys were talking. 

“Kevin said he plans on staying here just in case you need anything, but if you want us all to stay we definitely can,” Travis said when he saw you walk into the room. 

“Oh, if you guys want to, it's cool with me, I’m fine either way. I just plan on going to bed right now. So goodnight, I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow,” giving them a soft smile before making your way back towards your room. 

Going into your bedroom was already bound to be a difficult task. Although the room was simple, a lot of the things that you had on your wall were from gymnastics, pictures from gymnastics meets, medals and trophies littered your room in a way that usually lifted your spirits up. But walking into your room using crutches and the knee brace keeping your knee secure made you hate everything in the room at that moment. 

Knocking over your crutches, you ripped down a poster that had your schedule for the next season leading up to Trials, the picture of you and your teammates was next, finally the goal board you made when you were 10 came tumbling down to the ground, the trophies that you had spent such a long time working for were in the process of being thrown across the room when a pair of arms quickly pulled you into their chest. 

You didn’t notice that the guys had rushed into your room or that your vision was now clouded from the tears, but everything hit you at once. As Kevin held you, you simply sobbed into his chest. The dreams that you had worked so hard for were now crumbling down. You realized that all the time and hard work you had invested would have nothing to show for it. 

Eventually Kevin realized you had stopped crying and he looked down to realize that you had fallen asleep. He gently picked you up and put you in your bed, leaving your crutches right by your bed, so if you needed them you could get them. 

“Do you guys mind helping me pick up everything? She’ll regret it if we don’t,” Kevin asked the two boys in front of him who were very happy to help. All of them were glad that they had the day off and planned on staying here and doing what they could to help you out later. 

You anxiously waited the few weeks before you had to get the surgery, you hardly left your room and when you did, you went right back to your room. Everyone wanted to give you time to grieve and accept the possibility that you might not have a comeback. But once you had your surgery, you actually had to go to physical therapy.

Physical therapy was awful the first month. You genuinely felt bad for Adrian, your PT, for having to deal with you. He obviously had to put up with a lot of negative energy and you just added it to it. “You know, I am aware that you were an athlete. I’m going to assume every doctor has said you won’t make a comeback?” he paused waiting for your response, and once you nodded he continued. “Ok, well I can’t promise anything, but once you actually start working, this won’t necessarily get easier, but you accept it. Now if you’re constantly dwelling on how ‘your dreams are crushed and you’ll never be the gymnast you once were’ then that is exactly what will happen.” 

“Yeah, but-”

“Nope, no buts. You got hurt. It happens. But you already accepting that as the loss of a sport you love so much will not cut it in my book. That energy is not needed, especially if you ever want to go back. Now either accept the worst and get this over with as soon as possible, or actually start working towards your dream again. Those doctors try not to give people false hope, but y/n, you have to realize I know you have it in you to go back there and prove them all wrong. And if you’re doing this just to spite them, then so be it. Let’s get to work now.”

And you did get back to work. 

You were able to start light conditioning about 5 months after and were able to start doing basics 2 months later. “Ok, y/n, I’m going to be straightforward with you, your knee is looking better. But don’t do anything too crazy to where that changes. So the plan now is to start easing back into training, no big skills, no big landings. But you can start working. And I know about a certain meet in March that will be your comeback meet, I’m telling you now.” 

[snowboiwinwin]

The Boyz as my University Professors

Disclaimer: Some of my professors are evil bitches; none of the boys are truly evil and I am in no way implying they are or trying to make them look bad! I love the boys and I just thought it would be a fun thing to post :D

-------------------------------

Sangyeon: 

the one professor that absolutely loves the topic of his class

super wholesome and smiley throughout the 90 minutes class time

getting super close to the camera (actually to the mic) because he is worried students won’t hear him well enough

always asking questions and encouraging students to interact

not offended when something isn’t clear and therefore students don’t know the answer

reading EVERY. SINGLE. MESSAGE written in the chat (sometimes students have mic problems or don’t wanna speak)

making everyone feel valid and appreciated

being super calm and relaxed

barely doing breakout-rooms cause he knows no one likes them

ending class always a little earlier cause “I know how stressful your life can get.”

just the cutest prof out there

Jacob: 

another sweet guy

never holds class at its normal timeframe

just uploads all the files students will need (although attendance is supposed to be mandatory)

“you guys are all grown-ups, I trust you to decide yourself when it is the best time for YOU to study.”

constantly uses smileys and is therefore super popular with students

doesn’t teach many classes, cause which good prof does that? ugh

gets right back at students when they email him their concerns

and no, you don’t get half-assed answers

you get a very detailed answer, which is rare in university life

THANKS STUDENTS FOR SENDING HIM THEIR HOMEWORK!!!!

“Dear [name of stundet], thank you very much! 😊”

offers students to call him by his first name

“I’ll call you by your first name too if that’s okay... creates a more comfortable atmosphere!”

the best <3

Younghoon:

he is a savage professor

his look is hella scary and students fear taking his classes

but he is actually the coolest and most laid back dude ever

the first time class is held, he comes in, stone cold expression and literally throws his bag on the desk - everyone is hella scared

then he says, in the scariest voice ever, “We can have fun here in class, no problem, but i AM YOUR PROFESSOR. NOT YOUR FRIEND. Remember that.”

*everyone scared to death*

“Welcome to class everybody! My name is Mr. Kim and I am very looking forward to teach this class in our summer term! Feel free to ask any question that might come up and don’t hesitate to reach out to me whenever!”

no need to be scared, he is a sweetheart

strict and has high expectations, but won’t overdo it with homework or assignments

constantly jokes around but then switches back to being serious

he creates a nice atmosphere where students want to learn something and do it voluntarily 

cares for his students and appreciates their hard work - especially during the pandemic

“I know this is not easy for any of us but I am so amazed by your guys’ work this semester. It was an absolute pleasure teaching you. I hope to see you guys again, but not in this class. Please don’t fail.”

I love him

Hyunjae:

omg, he is an absolute legend

class starts and he is doing his introduction part

the class i about british literature 

“Welcome to this literature class, you are in for a long ride!”

so far so good right?

“Let me just say, British Literature is an ABSOLUTE shit show!”

when I tell you, I almost died hearing that (no offense to anyone, pls don’t take my profs words to heart... he lives for british literature 🥺)

he definitely has his students hooked with this one sentence

“the teacher that taught this class before me... what was he even talking about! I mean, british literature is so much more than what he made it out to be!”

basically starts ranting  

teaches with so much passion

can’t forget the jokes here and there

also uses smileys which students seriously love (at least I do)

wants students to be informal with him as well

“moving on to this next topic... a little disclaimer before we start: I will go batshit crazy with this topic because I LOVE IT. So please tell me to shut up when I exceed the 10 minutes mark. Thank you!”

A savage legend that everyone loves

sadly only teaches a handful of classes as well

Juyeon: 

super laid back and chill

does never check attendance and just trusts his students

usually talks most of the time and doesn’t ask too many questions

is super happy when students contribute though

but he isn’t one to force them

“I know your day has probably been really long, so it’s okay. I’m not taking this personal.”

his class is not based on theory but more on experiences he made

shares funny stories, mistakes he made and what he learnt from them

always gives the smallest and easiest homework ever

“please just share your experiences with these types of situations in our forum”

and he does not want to grade students based on an exam

“I have a better idea. In order to understand a certain topic, I want you to write a portfolio about it. It should be detailed but I won’t give you a number of words. Do what feels right and surprise me! Be creative, nothing will be worth a failing grade as long as you put in some effort.”

does split classrooms

one half is in the main room with him, the others are in breakout rooms, working on a certain topic

super chill and just not as hard as some other classes

but students definitely learn from him!

Kevin:

oh boy, students either gonna hate or love him

he is very kind and nice but he is STRICT

take his class serious and work or you will fail

although he has very high expectations, he will make sure students will be prepared for all the essays, assignments and presentations he throws at at them

no half-assed instructions, you will get the full program (as every student should!)

you have to write an argumentative essay but have no idea how to do that?

Professor Moon (students are allowed to call him Kevin) will explain an argumentativ essay in detail, will show examples and will tell you exactly what to put in it

having trouble finding sources?

Kevin will help you, just let him know!

Also a very empathetic teacher

something happened and you can’t attend class? Absolutely no problem

whenever something serious happens (for us it was a shooting), Kevin will cancel class and spare his students cause their well-being is more important

he doesn’t throw out A’s and B’s easily but when you do get such a grade in one of his classes... dude, you did a really good job

so as I said, he is either your fav or least fav professor... choose your side!

Chanhee:

he is a bitch (not really, but he gives the impression)

at first, he is that nice, bubbly professor

super friendly and kind

and his classes are absolutely okay! no biggie

or so they THOUGHT

his exams and progress tests or whatever ARE HELL

he makes it seem as everything is so easy and not overwhelming at all

BUT nothing is easy and everything is overwhelming

50 pages for a damn progress test two weeks into the semester!

the grading is so strict, you need at least 65% to pass! (maybe I am a baby but 65% is a lot for a passing grade hahaha)

but he confuses students

he is so kind and soft spoken

constantly smiling and in a good mood

but the exams????

are you sure you were the one creating them Mr Choi?

and yes, he is one of those professors that wants to be addressed by his last name (nothing wrong with that)

as I said, he confuses students

they don’t know what to think of him

at the end of the day he isn’t a bad guy

just not the type of professor the students would want in every single class for the rest of their lives

Changmin:

changmin is not your ordinary professor

because he is a big fan of team-teaching

so all his classes are taught by him and his dear colleague Haknyeon!

YAAAAY

I love this duo already

he is the part of the duo that is EXTREMELY motivated

he is is so hyper and so ready for teaching

his classes are always fun but also slightly overwhelming?

juts imagine having too much caffeine in your body

that is changmin being able to teach something he loves

that’s just the passion jumping out of him

he is constantly talking and laughing and throwing jokes left and right

he is having a good time!

super understanding and empathetic

and although everything seems fun and games

you will definitely learn from him!

he has this natural and authentic way of teaching in his body

it comes... naturally and it all makes sense somehow

although the class is packed with inside jokes and changmin teasing haknyeon

haknyeon doesn’t even have time nor the chance to speak

this is changmin’s time to shine!

they love and hate each other

but the students definitely love this iconic duo

Haknyeon:

as I mentioned; haknyeon and changmin are a team

it wasn’t really something haknyeon wanted but... how could you possibly say no to baby changmin? 🥺

so yes, changmin’s cute face got him into this situation

he doesn’t even have to prepare anything for class - his lovely colleague does the talking anyways

he usually lays back and relax

he frowns into the cam cause he tries to intimidate students

but they know he is a soft guy anyways

while changmin is talking, he is chatting to students in the chat

as I mentioned earlier, not everyone wants to unmute themselves and therefore posts in the chat

so he is having chats with students, often not even related to the topic

“Please excuse me, I will be absent for a few minutes - mommy duties” -student

“Don’t worry Miss! I know exactly what you mean... children.” -haknyeon

whenever he tries to get a word in, he has to talk VERY LOUDLY

he literally has to talk over changmin

but changmin doesn’t mind, he just smiles, nods and listens

changmin is super proud whenever haknyeon speaks

and haknyeon thinks that’s very sweet

but that thought passes as soon as changmin makes a joke about him

at the end of the day, they love each other at least to a certain extent and students adore them

Sunwoo:

he is not an ordinary professor either

class time? virtual meetings?

nope, not with sunwoo

again, in the classes the boyz teach, attendance is mandatory 

mandatory? sunwoo has never heard of her

he doesn’t require students to attend meetings and homework is also something he does not expect from them

he uploads powerpoint-presentations with videos and audio of him explaining everything in the presentation

but the boy is clumsy

and he is not good with anything technical

so him dropping his glass and spilling his water all over his lap?

well, students will see this in the video

“... and it’s important to- YAAAAH OH NO....”

*awkward silence*

“I spilled my water... if you haven’t seen.”

*more awkward silence*

“Give me a minute”

*the video continues and sunwoo is nowhere in sight*

after ten minutes of an empty chair, sunwoo returns and continues as if nothing has happened

sometimes his kids walk in and dab in the camera without him noticing

“and then - Hey! I am at WORK.”

he loves it though

and he posts these “fail” videos on purpose

“I want to show you, that it is okay to not be perfect and to not be in control of everything! Stuff like that happens, especially with us being in home-office! And don’t worry, if your mom walks in or whatever, in my classroom no one gets judged! This is life and now that we have to do everything from home, the unexpected is unavoidable!”

Another students’ favorite

Eric:

I would love to imagine him as this savage prof I have in mind... but no <3

he is a sweet guy

also super obsessed with the class he is teaching

he is LIVING for it

usually experiences technical problems right before class starts

“oopsie daisy, sorry guys... might take a few minutes *giggles*”

and no, it’s not a creepy giggle but a really cute one, I swear!

constantly has a pen in his hand and clicks it absentmindedly while teaching

students constantly hear the clicking sound... or when the pen falls to the ground.... which happens every five minutes

he constantly forgets to mute himself whenever he wants students to work by themselves and all they hear is him chugging down his water or whatever drink he has prepared

also sends out super sweet emails

but due to him being a young dude, he wants students to call him by his last name

he also calls students by their last name but he does use smileys to lighten the professional mood that comes with honorifics

overall a very motivated but extremely kind-hearted dude

[kimburgess-ruzek]

Shattered

chapter one: purgatory

summary: Intelligence had been through the worst of the worst trying to get one of their own back alive. Each member has been to their own personal hell. Will everyone make it back, or will the cracks in Intelligence be big enough for the entire team to shatter?

a/n: about that s9 speculation, yeah i’m going to make a fic out of it. if you want to beat around the bush and read the plot of the fic, it’s here. definitely new to writing so we’ll see how this goes! also, don’t know how to work a tag list, but if you want to be tagged, let me know!

t/w: mentions of trauma, gunshot wounds, assault, surgical procedures (which btw i made up, i’m not a medical expert)

read on ao3.

.

purgatory

“I think we should get married.”

six words. six of the most important words. Jay had the breath knocked out of him. He can’t understand what he was just asked. I think we should get married. Just a few months ago, Hailey wouldn’t even look into his eyes, much less say “I love you.” And a marriage proposal, that seemed pretty much impossible.

Jay looked into Hailey’s eyes. He saw past the tears and looked deeper. He saw sadness and fear, emotions not usually associated with an engagement. No, he saw something different. Hailey was different.

Jay cleared his throat, clearly stunned. “I—.” He tried to find words, find anything to respond. But he couldn’t. He cleared his throat and tried again to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Hailey noticed the hesitation and suddenly changed her demeanor. She tried to dry her tears as quickly as possible, wiping her eyes and running her hair through her hands. She then stopped Jay, interrupting whatever he was trying to express.

“You know what, never mind. Never mind. I— We need to go. We need to get to the hospital. See how Kim’s doing.”

Jay saw the sudden change and tried to reason with Hailey. He quickly found his words. “Wait, wait, wait. Hails. Is everything okay?” He asked while putting his hands on Hailey’s arms, stopping her from turning towards the door. He gently rubbed them, trying to soothe Hailey. However, it was to no avail; Hailey gently pushed herself away.

“No. No, we need to go. We need to see Kim. I need to see her. Let me go change and then we’ll leave, okay?” Hailey reassured Jay, nodding her head. Before Jay could respond, Hailey kissed Jay on the cheek and briskly walked to the room. She felt like she was suffocating in her clothes. She had worn them for almost two straight days, and she had been to hell and back in them. She needed to get out of them.

“Okay—“ Jay half yelled, wanting to make sure she heard him. He updated Will on his whereabouts and he let the rest of the team know he and Hailey were on their way to the hospital. Kevin replied that Kim was still in surgery. The doctor hasn’t given any updates but hopefully will soon. After about five minutes, Hailey walked out in a new pair of jeans and a different top. She quietly grabbed three granola bars, one for her to eat on the way and the others probably for Kevin and Trudy. Jay loved how thoughtful she was. She had her keys, purse, and jacket in hand and was heading for the door.

“Ready?”

“Yep.” Jay got up from the couch and followed Hailey out the door, turning off the lights on the way out.

The walk to the car and the drive to Med was really quiet. There was definitely tension in the vehicle; there wasn’t the comfortable silence that Jay and Hailey were used to. Hailey was focused on the road while Jay was focused on Hailey. She never looked back at Jay though, her eyes only on the road.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened—“ Jay started but Hailey quickly interrupted him.

“No.”

Jay took a breath and mumbled “okay.”

For the rest of the ride, you could’ve heard a pin drop in the car. No one talked and no one made any extra movement. Once Hailey found a parking spot in the parking garage, she turned the car off and took a long, hard breath, trying to gather her words. Jay was opening the door when Hailey grabbed his hand, stopping him.

“Look, Jay. I... Look I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be short with you.”

It’s okay,” Jay replied, trying to reassure her.

“No, it's more than that. I didn’t mean what I said earlier. At the apartment. I mean I love you, I do. I love you. And I think you’re decent. But not the other stuff. I just... It was just today. We almost lost our team member. We almost lost our friend, Jay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if we lost Kim. And I can’t think about it. If we did lose her. Because I don’t know if I could’ve forgiven myself. I don’t know if I could live with myself, thinking I could’ve done more. And at the apartment, I just saw someone that helped save my friend and I don’t want to lose you either, ever. And the emotions and no sleep and everything just got to me and I.. I. I don’t know. I don’t know. But.. Just don’t think about that question I asked earlier. Okay, Jay? Okay? It’s all good, I promise.”

Jay could clearly see Hailey was rambling. She was tired, no, she was exhausted, and she was backtracking. He was scared. He was scared that Hailey would retreat back to before, turned off from love. He hoped this experience didn’t make Hailey go back to being afraid of love. Of loving Jay. Because he loved Hailey. He loved everything about Hailey, from her seriousness when working a case to her humming along to the music she was playing in her earphones while pouring her coffee in the mornings. But there was also something else. Something that Jay couldn’t explain. Hailey was different, and not different because of what she explained. No, this was more than fear, more than desperation. This was a plea, almost a cry for help. And Jay didn’t know why. But he knew that something changed in her. Something happened when Voight split them up. And Jay knew he had to get to the bottom of it. Not for his sake, but for Hailey’s.

As much as Jay wanted to tell her he enjoyed the proposal, he knew she didn’t mean it. At least, he knew she didn’t want it for pure love. This wasn’t genuine. The love was, but the proposal wasn’t. This was a reaction to something. And as much as Jay would love to be engaged to Hailey Upton, he knew she wasn’t ready for it. And he knew she would regret it if the proposal went down like this. But he knew that he loved Hailey with all of his heart, and he was going to show that. As much as he wanted to say "yes," he was afraid of saying anything would just break her. So he went along with Hailey at the moment, and he decided he was going to try again later.

Jay put his free hand to Hailey’s cheek, wiping a stray tear. “Hailey, I love you. I love you so much. And that’s not going to change. Ever. I will do whatever you want to do and are comfortable doing. Now, let’s go check on Kim. Does that sound good?”

Hailey relaxed into Jay’s hand and closed her eyes. This was the first time she had relaxed in hours. After a pause, she nodded and left Jay’s hold. She opened the car door, and they walked towards the hospital entrance to hear the fate of their friend’s life. They walked into the unknown.

.

Med was covered in blues. Police of all ranks and districts filled the waiting room. It was so packed, Kim would be embarrassed. She wouldn’t want to be the center of attention. But she needed the love. She needed the support, and when one of their own has fallen, everyone’s going to be there to help pick them back up.

Hailey and Jay quickly spotted Kevin and Trudy in their blackout gear. Kevin had his bloody vest lying on the floor next to him. His bloody vest that was Kim’s blood from where he held her so tight, trying to stop any bleeding if it would do any good. Trudy was sitting in a chair and Kevin was standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder and his phone to his ear. He wasn’t talking, but his phone was still to his ear.

Trudy wasn’t speaking either. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t find any reason to have small talk. Or deep talk. She just couldn’t find anything to say. All she could do was just think, and run her mind to the ground worrying about Kim.

Kim held a very special place in Trudy’s heart. She was different from any other officer that Trudy has had. Kim has this pluckiness to her. She had a different attitude when it came to policing. And as much as Trudy berated her in front of the 21st, as much as Trudy picked on Kim and made her work overtime and made her run the extra mile, she loved Kim. She loved that green rookie with big brown eyes that walked in on the first day with a smile and a donut. She loved the woman who stayed in the district despite her failed relationship. She loved the woman who kept fighting when she kept getting knocked down. Kim had to have the biggest heart Trudy had ever known a police officer to have. Whether that be because of all of the hardship she has dealt with in the police academy or the lack thereof while growing up Trudy didn’t know. And to be quite frank, she didn’t care. All she knew was that she wanted to protect that big heart of Kim’s. She had to because Kim was the reason why a city like Chicago has hope. Kim brought light to a city of darkness. She brought ambition to a city of despair. No matter what the case was, Kim put all of her knowledge and energy into that case. She not only did that, but she cared for the people in the case. Hell, she even cared for some of the suspects, damn it. That’s how big Kim’s heart was. That's how big Kim's heart is. And now, that big, gullible, genuine heart has to fight for its life. It had to put itself in a position to be saved and it has to endure hours upon hours of surgery. So no, Trudy could not find any words to say.

Hailey and Jay walked up to Kevin and Trudy and gave solemn grins. Trudy found the strength to stand up and hug both Hailey and Jay. She held onto Jay a little longer, whispering ever so quietly “Thank you.” Jay patted Trudy’s back as a welcome, trying not to cry from the images of Kim handcuffed in that Buick resurfacing. After what seemed like a century, Trudy let go and sat back down. Hailey hugged Kevin and she and Jay stood with them.

Hailey then dug into her bag and pulled out a portable phone charger and handed it to Kevin.

“I thought you might need this.”

“Thanks, Hailey. Ruz would appreciate it.” Kev kindly took the charger and plugged it into his phone. He was glad because his phone was surely dying but he wanted to give Adam all of the updates as that were coming in.

“How’s Makayla?” Jay asked, crossing his arms.

“Uh, she’s good. She’s good. Adam told her that Kim had to work late, so she’s good. She remembered Adam and wasn’t scared. She fell asleep on the couch but Adam moved her to her bedroom.” Kevin tried to find any facts to answer Jay's question. He replied before listening to Adam say something over the phone.

“Yeah, Hailey and Jay are here... No, no updates yet... Yeah, man... The docs said the surgery would be pretty long.” Kevin answered over the phone.

“I spoke to the Commander. Intelligence isn’t getting any new cases until Kim pulls through.” Trudy stated, looking up at Jay and Hailey who nodded. They both thought it was rather respectful of the commander.

Trudy turned her attention towards Hailey, asking, “Did you or Hank find anything about Roy?”

With that question, Kevin looked at Hailey too. He chimed in, “Yeah did you catch any leads? Do you know where Voight is? Trudy has tried calling, but it goes straight to voicemail.”

All eyes were on Hailey, who quickly became flustered and at a loss for words. Does she tell the truth? Hell no. Not right now at least. Not until she gets to the bottom of what Voight did with the body. What does she tell them? She hung her mouth open, not knowing what to say. Jay noticed Hailey’s nerves and tried to calm her by putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. This made Hailey refocus, and she mustered up an answer.

“I, uh. No. No. And I don’t know where Voight is.” Hailey could barely get her Sergeant’s name out of her mouth. She tried her best to sound casual and honest, and it must’ve worked. Either that or everyone was so exhausted and stressed that they didn’t press any further.

Will Halstead pushed his way through the waiting room and joined the team.

“Hey, no word yet. I just talked to one of the nurses. Just said they’re still in surgery.” Will said. He tried to press for news. Anything, but he was shot down. Hopefully, this was just because they were in a rush and not because they had bad news, which is what Will does but didn't want to believe was the situation now. When Jay told him of Kim's injuries, Will, as a doctor, was shocked she even had a pulse. Her injuries were severe and traumatic, and she spent almost 24 hours bleeding. But Will dare not say his thoughts to Intelligence. No. He didn't want to break any of their hope. And Kim was going to need all of the hope she could get if she was going to pull through.

The team just nodded and settled in. Not one of them was going to leave until they received news about their member. So they waited.

.

It was 8:03 am. The sun was peaking through the blinds covering the windows. It has been 10 hours. 10 long hours. Some of the police officers left for their shift. Most stayed, camping out in their chairs. Some slept on the floor. Some were called to a scene where they handled it and immediately came back to the hospital. Hailey, Jay, Kevin, and Trudy rotated between two seats, allowing each person to catch a little bit of sleep. But in reality, none of them could get more than a few minutes of rest before the memories of the previous 36 hours crept into their minds, jolting them alert and awake. But they all stayed in that waiting room. In purgatory. No matter how scared, how sad they were, they all remained brave. Trudy and Jay tried calling Voight a couple of times only to realize he wasn't coming. They passed it off to be overwhelming. They thought Hank couldn't fathom hearing any bad news about Kim in person. Either that or he was somewhere, swallowing down liquor like he did when Al passed. But they didn't leave. They couldn't leave. They just had to hope the Sergeant wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be doing. 

Kevin stayed on the phone until about 3 am before Adam told him he was going to try to sleep so he could take Makayla to school the next day. Adam woke up at 6 but got the same luck as the rest of his team. He didn’t really get much of actual rest. But he woke up, got ready, fixed breakfast, woke Makayla up, got her ready, drove her to school while singing her favorite songs, and was back on the phone with Kev and heading to Med before 7:45.

Will kept coming in and out of the waiting room. He would periodically try to get information but was shut down every time. Nevertheless, he kept trying. He kept pushing for Intelligence. For Kim.

Suddenly, a doctor scrubbed and dressed in surgical gear stepped foot into the waiting room and everyone immediately woke each other up and sprang to their feet. Kevin told Adam the surgeon was here and put his phone on speaker. The surgeon walked straight to Intelligence and the other officers turned towards the team, waiting for the news. No one moved. No one blinked. Everyone studied the surgeon, trying to pick up on any cues before he spoke. Everyone held their breath. Everyone waited for the update.

After a long breath, the surgeon started pouring words.

“Officer Kim Burgess experienced severe head trauma, assault, shoulder strain, and two shots to the abdominal region. It was clear she lost a lot of blood, and when we got into surgery, it was much worse. She had a dislocated right knee, so we set it in place. The through-and-through shot didn’t do any internal damage so we patched it right up. The other one that never exited was lodged two inches to the right of her left kidney. If it were to hit it, she would have experienced kidney failure and gone into shock shortly after getting hit. Luckily, that didn’t happen. We were able to extract the bullet with as minimal damage as could be done. She had some pieces of glass lodged in her arms and we were able to get them out. She experienced head trauma. We checked, and she was bleeding internally in the brain. Left untreated, it could have lead to developmental setbacks, blood clotting, or death. However, it must’ve started only a little before she arrived here. This was likely due to her staying calm under pressure and subconsciously keeping her head in the correct position. She lost a lot of blood and had a low BP. She lost a pulse after we tried to stop the bleeding, but she was resuscitated after the first try. We did everything we could, and we did a lot. She made it out of surgery. She’s critical, but she’s stable.”

With that, everyone let out the breath that they were holding and erupted with such emotion. Some celebrated, hugging and shaking hands with each other. Some clapped and yelled in happiness. Some stood there in awe, in shock, in disbelief. Hailey dropped her head in her hands and started sobbing. Kim’s alive. She’s alive. Jay let out an excited expression and high-fived Will before engulfing a shaky Hailey in a huge hug. Trudy just let out a loud, deep sigh of relief. She immediately pulled the surgeon in for a hug. She knew Kim would pull through. Kim’s a fighter. She was going to push through. Kevin had big tears in his eyes. He couldn’t believe it. As much as he tried to be optimistic, he saw Kim with his own two eyes. He saw her and could only imagine what kind of torturous hell she went through. He knew Kim was strong, but this. This situation looked bleak. And as much as he tried not to believe that he held on to Kim during her dying breaths, he just didn’t know if Kim could pull through. He didn’t know if anyone could have pulled through with those injuries. But she did. Kim’s alive. After Kevin caught his breath he put his phone to his ear and checked on Adam.

“You heard that, brother?”

All he heard back were deep breaths and sobs.

“She’s okay. She’s gonna be okay. She’s gonna be okay.” Kev heard Adam whispering in between his cries. He didn’t hear a direct answer from Adam but he knew he heard the surgeon. Kev followed suit and replied, “She’s gonna be okay. She's gonna be okay, bro.”

The surgeon cleared his throat and the waiting room quieted down, listening to what else he had to say.

“They’re wrapping up on Officer Burgess now. She will have a brace on her knee to keep it in place. She’s cut and bruised, and she’ll likely have a concussion. We’re giving her blood and we’ll continue for the next few days along with antibiotics to treat any infections from the warehouse. She’s sedated. We’re going to try to ease her awake but she’s a fighter. So she’ll probably wake up by tonight. She’ll be transferred to a private ICU after she’s out of surgery. She’s been to hell and back, and she has a hell of a recovery to go, but she’s alive.”

The waiting room erupted again in relief and celebration. The surgeon hugged and shook hands with all of the officers, including Intelligence. He then left the room to allow the policemen to celebrate.

Intelligence just looked at each other. They didn’t jump up and down or screamed to the rooftops. No, they were too tired for that. But also it was a different kind of energy. 48 hours ago, they were at each other’s throats. Each one of them had a different idea on how to solve this case. On how to get Kim back. Each one of them had hit their breaking point. Each one of them had been to their own hell. And some of them hadn’t made it back yet. And while Kim was fighting back from her hell, while she was fighting for her life, the team came together. They rallied together for their team member, for their friend. They had to come together in order to give Kim that energy. That strength in order for her to make it out on the other side. But that was temporary, and the team knew that. Now, after Kim has made it, the team doesn't know how to feel. They didn’t know what to do. And just because they got what they wanted — they got Kim back and they got her back alive — it doesn’t mean everything that just happened is dropped. It doesn’t mean everything, every word can just be forgotten. No, it just means things get taken off pause.

Intelligence had a lot of work to do. It had a long road ahead of them. The question is: will everyone make it out unscathed? Or will someone crack, leading Intelligence to be shattered?