#WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WERE CLOWNING ON SIG

[shayberri789]

Legit

Also lost my mind

Finally getting to unmute the Sunlit Man discourse weeks after everyone else finished it, be like

[null-if-i]

i dont know anything about plurar. plurality. (lying)

one. in here. who does. not speak. vow of silence, and thus. does not seem to have name. also does not. speak. type. verbalize. much. it/its that one this one pronouns. will call 'vow' for now.

vow. does not like. to open mouth. even for eating. does not chew. much. will squeeze. crush with. tongue. vaccum of mouth. teeth are. walls of. mouth.

its the air. in ones mouth. feels bad. air. should not be. in mouth.

does not speak. mouth sealed.

---

it does not like to talk. feels very much like.. a deer. very frozen, light or gli. flight. sorry. I. there's a. its something else in here trying to type but having trouble, in like a dyslexic. way. flight or. fight. is the word.

anyway.

zilly is the g., clown girl. silly/zillyhoo/zillion. it/she. they. any pronouns really, i think.

i really, see, because we're co-conscious and it's not, so, like, clear and delineated, fuck me my fingers don't wanna work right now i can not type.

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funny story, so, right? so, i typed up that... pseudo-divine poem draft. my fingers were burning. i mean, there was a. warm un... un pleasant? not quite. not painful but just. clear and urgent and ... it. bodily! sensate. burning urgency warmth . 'tingling' sounds silly but it's not, it wasn't a silly or. playful feeling it was 'we're done when i say we're done'

its also, so. when i think i hear something or feel something or connect or god is right there and i am in something noticing something the top of my head tingles. diferently. its not warm. its not a temperature its a lightness? a little like ASMR but its like dancing on the top of my scalp energy like getting a head massage

my . and my ingers weren't that. fingers.

--theres someone something else that always sticks out my tongue when idling which makes vow unhappy at times but. blep! gotta blep!! bite tongue good chew stim blep!! i get headaches if i dont swallow spit enough like i have to vaccum drain my spit valves with my mouth suction or i get sinus headaches. . and have to close my nose and blow real hard! vagus nerve. for the same reason i think, sinus drain. but thats in ears not under mouth.

hhg i don't know my name. the silly. i don't think thats zilly i don't think. typing is hard i think i'm a little. yeah i dont know my name. my toes are always danccccing! i have. its funny, i have. yeah im regressing so thats a little. peanut butter jelly now. good. good to be a little because i have bigs who will go get me peanut butter. and. yummies. mmm and protect me from big scary. hi.

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im. see im always afraid to talk about this because like i am saying we are not exclusive we are not like forgetting things we're just uh uh um. and its. but ive wondered if im a median system of. or . or something like that. t. since. for many years. decades. have the sig. symptoms. the signs and stuff, the memories of. going inside myself for protection and curling up and, the type of stuff, you know, that other people who have very claar deliniations, also have, as, what they remember to be, the reactions of and formations of, the, the traumatic events that were the. clear. and.

--

i just want to say hi too. i just want people to see and it be okay. if i'm not all me. and all there. i'm scared to talk about god too because i dont want... i . people think a lot of things and c. can . be mean. and i don't want.

i don't want to be wrong. and bad and hurt people by being wrong about myself or not. being right exactly or not knkowing the. exactly what. knowing how to be and say and what it look and is to be and to say correctly and right.

i got really yelled at a really lot. i got really

---

i bo

--i got really . genuinely sincrely abused. for . for now reading y. ymy. my abusers mind and knowing what she wanted and what words meant to her and what i was supposed to do without being asked and knowing how to do repsond to what i was asked in the exact right a way and.

so, . so , okay.., right, so. so i'm trying not to relive that. right?

something . like, something, like, there, so, it's like something is clearly happening the that there is a trauma response here there right? so. its not bad? if it's ? if i'm? i'm not? if i am or am not?

see, okay, so . right.

my hunch. is.

can not.

knowing. hard.

know. = do.

no.

vow, "means: can't. too. pain. -ful."

baby stick tongue. out too scared. dis. -gust?

bite. ...shame. 'sorry'.

peanut... butter... please...? im... scared...

shaking. baby, scared.

needs hug. and. plea. pe. please. pea. peanut. butter. ok.

[liathgray]

im arospec/asexual and i am LIVING for ur aroace ed headcanons how does it feel to have a galaxy brain this is the best shit ever. if you have any more hcs then :eyes: -sgb

*KICKS DOWN YOUR DOOR* GOOD EVENING GAMERS AND GAYS WE HAVE MORE HEADCANONS!!!

- Ed, as a child, totally not understanding why people are so weird about girls. Like. Tf do you MEAN you have a crush on her??

- this evolves into a wittle Child Ed who is very openly affectionate with any and all friends! Particularly Winry cause of course and sadly this is where the teasing starts up

- But lets ignore that! I implore you to imagine a happy, pre-mother-death Ed who can and will tackle-hug someone. Two foot nothing Ed who sees nothing wrong with braiding his friends hair or saying i love you!! YOUNG ED BEING AFFECTIONAT—

- after Trisha passes away he gets more closed off about it though.

- His first exposure to a relationship, well and truly, was Sig and Izumi. And he’s just. ??? Ma’am?? He’s your friend. Yall act like friends. Do you MARRY friends? Help

- years in the military were the strangest cause Ed would get teased CONSTANTLY. Mostly by Havoc

- Havoc you poor poor fool. He is basically canon fodder for Ed’s jokes once he’s out. All those years of being a bit of a ✨dick✨ are earning him a metric fuckton of clowning from Ed

- and theres also the guilting factor. Ed will bring up all those times whenever he wants shit. Havoc, your penance walk shall never cease.

- Ed never actually tells Pinako. She wasn’t present for when he was like “oh guess what” to his other friends. He mentions it briefly and she freezes up for a sec before like. EXPLODING. “??? For how long??” “Why didnt you tell me??”

- Ed, very slowly, very awkwardly infoms that “I uh thought you already knew...?”

- Riza and Ed have had long ass talks before basically complaining about how high on a pedestal people put romance and sexual relationships. Friendships are just as important! These conversations always end with them doing book trades of completely irrelevant things.

- On extra wild nights, Sheska joins in Oh heres my ace lesbian sheska headcanon and they’ve now all read her favourite adventure book and are strangely drawn to the band of misfits who come together... odd..