#WEW i wrote it. i did it

[mobiusstripper]

Wew I FINALLY finished Leviathan Falls after rotting on the library waiting list for months, and I feel like I have to take a minute to voice how utterly delighted I was with the way the authors wrote Tanaka.

It was sincerely refreshing to see a villain treated with such complexity and nevertheless allowed to be just...a total irredeemable piece of shit. She had the sob story backstory, she went through it in the present day plot, she even did the thing fans always joke about characters like her needing to do and went to therapy. She got a mirror held up to her from every angle, had every opportunity to rethink her life, and she stayed a straight nasty bitch, right to the bitter end.

Thank you, James S.A. Corey. From the bottom of my bastard-loving heart.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Shenanigans at the pride parade

This oneshot I wrote for today is based on a little comic that I drew a year ago. Those of you who remember the comic might be familiar of the events in this story.

Read on ao3 or under the cut.

“Do we have everything with us?” Francesca asked.

“We got everything in my bag!” Violetta assured her. “Except for a change of clothes, cause it wouldn’t fit.”

“Aw, but if we don’t pack extra clothes it might be this specific time that we’re gonna need it.”

“Ok, but… it’s just a 10 minute walk, isn’t it? Worst case scenario, we have to go home and change.”

“True…” Francesca then turned to the kids. “Are you ready to go?”

“Weady, mama!” Carolina exclaimed. “Wook, I wew a wainbow!”

The three year old happily showed her little crooked rainbow she drew with markers on her arm. 

“That is very nice, dear.”

“Do we need a stroller?” Violetta asked.

“Hmm… it takes up a lot of space,” Francesca said.

“It does. Wait, I got a better idea!”

She picked up their son Oliver, who recently had turned 1, and put him on her shoulders. Oliver giggled at being so high up. 

“I wanna be up too, mami!” Carolina exclaimed.

“I can put you on my shoulders!” Francesca said, picking her up. 

“Now we’re just waiting for the four year old,” Violetta said.

“I’m almost five!” Elina shouted, running up to them. 

“Yes, you’re a big girl. We’re going now.”

“And I’m saying this now to you, girls,” Francesca said. “There’s gonna be a lot of people there, so I want you to stay close to us, ok?” She looked especially at her oldest daughter.

“Pwomise!” Carolina exclaimed.

“I promise,” Elina said, “But aren’t you gonna say that to Oliver, too?”

“Oliver is just a baby, and I will hold him all the time,” Violetta explained. “He can’t escape even if he wants to!”

“We need to go, chop chop!” Ludmila said, clapping her hands. 

“We want our child back, Cami!” Naty called.

Camila came out, smiling. “I have a surprise!”

She moved aside, to show Ludmila and Naty’s daughter Stella toddle up in a rainbow dress and flowers in her hair. Along with Stella was Camila’s kid Kim, who wore rainbow overalls, but also had flowers in their hair.

“I’m dying!” Ludmila exclaimed, almost forming tears. “Naty, get the camera!”

“Mama, what’s a pride parade anyway?” Kim asked.

“It’s a parade where we walk around with rainbows. We’re showing that people, and families can look different and that we have a right to exist!”

“Yes, did you know, a lot of years ago, two moms were not allowed?” Naty asked. “We’re celebrating that we can now, and showing people that it’s okay!”

“I weaw a wainbow!” Stella exclaimed, jumping.

“Yes, you’re so cute, darling.”

Maxi and Andres were nervous. This was the first time they were gonna go out on an event with their twins.

Their twin boys, Tommy and Daniel, were just six months old and their dads had dressed them up for the occasion. They had now put them in baby carriers as they finished their own outfits.

“Is this rainbow tie too much?” Andres asked. 

“Of course not! You look so classy!”

“I hope the boys won’t think I’m embarrassing…”

Maxi chuckled. “Andres… if they still poop their pants on the regular without a care, they don’t have the ability to feel embarrassment for you over anything.”

“You’re right. Also, speaking of that, I think I forgot the diaper bag!”

“Andres, we’re home, and I’m holding it. It’s gonna be fine.”

“They’re gonna be the fanciest babies there!”

“Yep!”

“She’s gonna be the fanciest baby there!” Yam exclaimed, holding up Charlie. She had sewn a special suit for her. 

“I don’t know if she’s much of a baby now when she’s 2,” Jim said. 

“Both she and Lola are babies!”

“I’m not a baby!” Lola yelled. “I’m four!” To prove her point, she held up four fingers. 

“By the way, Loli, I need to write on your arm,” Jim said, grabbing a marker.

“Are you gonna write something fun?”

“I’m gonna write our phone number.”

“Why?”

“In case you disappear from us. There’s a big crowd.”

“If you get away from us, please find an adult,” Yam chimed in, “Preferably someone with kids. They can see the number on your arm, and call us.”

“Okay…”

As Violetta and Francesca arrived with their kids, they tried to immediately find their friends.

“Cami said she’d be here somewhere…” Francesca said, checking her phone.

“Mami, I don’t want you holding my hand,” Elina said.

“I have to hold your hand so that you don’t disappear,” Violetta said.

“But I won’t! Mamiiiiiiii!”

“Wait a little bit, Elina. We need to find Camila first.”

“Girls!” someone exclaimed. Francesca and Violetta looked up. Camila was waving from afar. 

They went up to her. 

“Hi!” Violetta said, “Oh, you look great!”

“And me?” Kim asked, holding their mom’s hand.

“Yes, you look really good too!”

“Does your mom force you to hold her hand, too?” Elina asked Kim.

“I want to hold mama’s hand!” Kim answered with a grin. 

“Look at Oliver!” Camila said, “Oh, he’s so cute!” She tickled his chin. “Are you cute? Are you up on your mommy’s shoulders?”

Oliver giggled and cooed at her. 

“Hey, if anyone’s kid is the cutest, it’s ours!” Ludmila yelled, announcing her presence by saying that.

Everyone turned to her and Naty. Ludmila was proudly holding up three year old Stella. 

“Aww, look at her dress!” Francesca said.

“I made it,” Camila said with a wink.

“I WEW A WAINBOW ON MY AWM!” Carolina screamed, proudly holding up her arm.

“Yes, she drew a rainbow on her arm,” Francesca translated, if anyone couldn’t hear the toddler-speak. 

“That’s a nice rainbow!” Naty said, “You’re an artist, Carolina!”

“Hello!” Maxi called. Him and Andres walked up to them, their twins in baby carriers. 

“OH MY GOD!” Camila gasped. “Noo! Ok, you two won the baby pride outfits!”

“No, I won!” Kim pouted, stomping their foot on the ground.

“You’re not a baby, dear.”

“They look so peaceful in their baby carriers!” Violetta said. 

In the middle of the adults talking, Elina took this as an opportunity to let go of her mother’s hand. She then slowly walked backwards, hoping no one would see her.

“Woah, so many people here!” Lola exclaimed excitedly.

“That’s why you need to be close to us at all times,” Jim reminded her. 

“Tell Charlie that!”

Yam, who was carrying Charlie, put her down on the ground. Immediately, Charlie started whimpering and put her hands up, wanting to be held again. Yam picked her up again. “See, I don’t think we need to worry about your sister.”

“I wanna walk around!” Lola pouted.

“We are,” Jim assured her. “Just hold my hand, and we’re gonna go around.”

“I don’t wanna hold your hand!”

“Okay… but stand next to me.”

They walked around for a bit, looking at the other people there. There was a lot of cheering, a lot of rainbows and a lot of fun outfits. Lola was mesmerized by all of the outfits she saw people wear.

“Mama, can you make me that? And that too?”

“Of course, dear.”

Lola jumped up and down in excitement.

“She’s gonna fall asleep on the way home from all the energy she released today,” Jim told Yam discreetly. Yam nodded. 

“Hey, is that Luna?” Yam asked, pointing at someone further away.

“I think it is!”

As her moms were busy looking for their friend, Lola saw this as a perfect opportunity to run off.

“Wait, no…” Jim said. “That’s not Luna. But it really did look like her from behind!”

“It really did!”

“Now…” Jim looked around. “Lola?”

Yam turned to her. “Jimena, where’s our child?”

“She was… right here!”

They looked at each other worryingly.

Lola felt like she was as fast as Rainbow Dash - she had been seeing an old show called Friendship is Magic and there was a pegasus there named Rainbow Dash. Maybe if she ran fast enough she’d become her.

But she didn’t feel like a pony. She felt like a lion. A lion running fast.

Suddenly, and without warning, she crashed into someone. Another girl, around her age.

The two looked at each other for a moment. Lola was lying on top of her. They catched their breaths for a moment, before Lola came back to reality.

“I’m a lion!” she roared.

“Oh!” the girl replied. “I’m a cheetah!”

The two stood up and started to make animal sounds at each other. 

“I’m gonna get you!” Lola growled, while grinning.

“No, because I’m a cheetah and so I’m really fast!” 

“Rawr! We’ll see about that!”

Lola was about to jump on her, when someone grabbed her by her armpits.

“No running away!” Jim scolded her. “I’m gonna carry you for the rest of the day if you keep this up!”

At the same time, the other girl’s mother grabbed her hand.

“I told you to hold my hand!” Violetta muttered. 

“But-” the girl said.

“No buts, Elina. You’re coming with me.”

Elina. What a nice name, thought Lola.

Jim carried Lola away, as Violetta dragged away Elina.

But the two girls, like Kovu and Kiara in The Lion King 2, looked at each other as their parents got them further away from each other. Only that, instead of scaredly saying “goodbye”, they just smirked and stuck their tongue out at each other.

Lola hoped she’d meet Elina again.

Elina hoped the same. 

Their separate mothers considered putting leashes on them.

[ladyazulina]

Weekly Update August 14th - August 19th

If you need a way to know that I am NOT okay, that is if I stop doing something that I previously said I enjoy.

Like my daily updates.

I didn't really stop writing (though if I see what I did on one of these days, I won't really call it writing), I just stopped coming. I didn't have enough energy.

I was starting to feel better yesterday or the day before, but still didn't have enough space in my head to come to sit to write this. So I'm thankful for whatever was the moment in which I thought about doing a weekly update instead.

August 14th

So on this glamorous day, it seems like I was focused on my Patreon.

Worked in: Microstory. Words written: 12.

Worked in: Patreon | About me. Words written: 196.

Worked in: Something personal for my personal Instagram. Words written: 295.

I gave it a makeover and I feel better about it, but I won't start posting things there unless I have patrons. I have a lot of things, so I'm not really sure how I would make it work during the first month or so, but I suppose I will only ask to know from where the patron is coming from (which story is the one of their interest) to start with that and then go with the rest.

I will cross that bridge when I get there, I guess.

August 15th

I got back to work there! Even one day leaving the outline on the side feels awful, I tell you. I can have all the rights to rest and everything, but I did the compromise with myself, those are the ones that hit worse when you fail.

Worked in: AngelDemon. Words written: 1.378.

I also started thinking about making a few changes to my personal campaign to post it on Wattpad and Inkspired, but either way, I wrote some things about half the main characters there.

Worked in: Iron Valley (Personal’s Campaign). Words written: 341.

August 16th

This is the day I was talking about. I finally received an ARC copy to work with (was supposed to arrive earlier this month) so all the words on this day were about revisions.

Worked in: ARC Revision. Words written: 360.

August 17th

Worked in: ARC Revision. Words written: 133.

Oh! I remembered another reason why it was so hard to get to writing the outline... I was on my own. I haven't finished revising the old work yet, but the chapters weren't being useful, so I had to... continue on my own. And I suppose it was kind of stressing me.

Worked in: AngelDemon. Words written: 881.

August 18th

This was one of the most productive days so far... and it was kinda because we were without Internet for a while... so I just... distracted myself... writing more.

Worked in: ARC Revision. Words written: 97.

I finally convinced myself to post what I wrote for Instagram days prior, and I added a few words more.

Worked in: Something personal for my personal Instagram. Words written: 21.

Worked in: AngelDemon. Words written: 997.

I'm not complaining, I had lots of fun with

Worked in: Iron Valley (Linney’s Campaign). Words written: 1.420.

But no, I haven't finished the fricking third tick yet! Which is okay, I'm taking advantage of the situation, having loooooots of fun with my favorite characters so far.

August 19th

And today (wew, why does this makes me feel like I passed the whole day trying to... finish it?).

I feel content. I think I'm better, but I know it's not real because my physical state hasn't improved nor even a tiny bit. My ankle is hurting more and I believe my hearing is suffering from the lack of use of the hearing aids, so my headaches are exhausting me and draining the little energy I have.

Even so, though!

Maybe I am really strong, huh?

So I wrote to a dear friend I haven't talked to in a while.

Worked in: PenPal. Words written: 559.

I continued with the ARC reading (I'm more consistent with this than with everything else in my life, I swear).

Worked in: ARC Revision. Words written: 40.

And of course, let's not forget the current goal. I just finished Chapter 17 and I'm feeling the end getting closer.

Worked in: AngelDemon. Words written: 1.075.

And that's all! If we forget this very long post, of course.

In all those days I was over my higher daily word count, so it's a win (even if not, any writing would have been a win).

So, to finish:

In total I wrote 7.805 words.

Everything is going so slow it literally took me an hour to get here, gosh...

Tagging: @aziz-reads

[oneinathousand]

I’m re-reading a crappy Super Smash Brothers fanfic I wrote way back when I was 11 and I thought I’d share some of my favorite out-of-context lines from it, but I’ll say that it’s basically about Mario angsting over Luigi’s death from a battle with a bunch of Nintendo villains, except - spoiler alert - Luigi didn’t die but instead got some darkness-based superpowers and may or may not have become evil. It was basically a horrible mashup of SSB, Super Paper Mario, and Kingdom Hearts. 

Below are the lines as originally written, spelling/grammar/paragraph structure mistakes and all:

I turned around and saw the balls dissapeared and a mysterious figure wearing a black coat stood not far from me. I think he was excactly the same size as Luigi. "Who-who are you?!" I asked. He-or she, I'll call it ?- didn't answer. (I thought I was being so subtle with that foreshadowing...)

Dreamland... I knew I could find King DeDe here unless he knew I was coming and ran off. I saw Kirby nearby, I wondered if he knew where King WeWe is. Kirby groaned when he saw me. "Whatever Kirby, is King WeWe still around?" I asked. "Ha! Ha! WeWe! I know you mean King DeDe. I was going to interagatte him now. I'll take you there." Kirby volunteered. (I consistently spelled King Dedede’s name as DeDe the entire time)

To our suprise, ? slowly rose from the ground! "Looks like you've figured me out, but can you figure out who I am?" ? asked.

He (Layton) placed me into it, strapped my arms onto the armrests and strapped by feet to the ground. I was stuck! "Mama Mia! I don't like it already! Get me outta here!" I whined. "Quiet!" Layton instructed. Then he slapped me real hard saying, "Pull yourself together man!" He slapped me constantly. I think he was trying to teach me to get a grip on reality. But it hurt so much I thought I died and went to you know where. (My friend in school at the time was a big Professor Layton fan, so I put him in my fic as a tribute, but I didn’t bother doing much research, so Professor Layton in this story is kind of a maniac)

"I know who you are too! You're none other then... Robert DeNiro!" Layton gasped, dramatically pointing at him. "Wait, What?" ? asked even more shocked. "I'm such a huge fan of your movies!" I scueeled. "If I'm Robert DeNiro then how can I create a black hole and vanish in thin air?" DeNiro asked. "I know! You've been taking magic classes for you're next role!" Layton suggested. "I thought you are a proffesor with a masters degree." DeNiro insulted. "So you're not Robert DeNiro?" I asked blushing. "No I'm not you ding dong! Now if I were you I'd run like a bunch of cowards. I have buisness, Ciao!" He called out while vanishing.

"I am your enemy!" Luigi announced to Crazy. "Fine! You're nothing but a weakling. I'll have you kissing my thumb in less then a minute!" Crazy taunted.

Not far from us there was a humongous castle that nearly blended in with the scenery. "I can tell this is Crazy's castle." Sonic said. "Really? How can you tell? I asked. "Because he wrote his name on that tower over there." Sonic explained.

We couldn't hear Crazy Hand breathing, and he wasn't moving either. "Come on Crazy, get uq so we can finish this." Link coaxed. No answer. I was starting to worry. "You taking a nap?" Mr. Game and Watch asked. Still nothing. "Crazy?" Snake asked. "Do you think?" Peach asked. Then Crazy slowly disintergrated untill he was just a pile of ashes. He killed himself from laughter. (Some parts of this fic were meant to be humorous, but this one was meant to be taken seriously)

"Alright, now for Puzzle 002: What is my niece's name?" Crazy asked. Neice? Crazy and Master don't have any relitaves. "Hey! You're just pretending!" Peach pointed out. "Oh, really? You've got 1 minute." Crazy cackled. "The Sparkly Mittin!" R.O.B. spat out. "Correct!" Crazy gasped. Sucker. As we were walking I asked R.O.B, "How did you know Crazy had a neice?" "She and I were classmates in my freshman year." R.O.B. explained.

By no means do I claim that I managed to write an amazingly so-bad-it’s-good fanfiction on par with My Immortal and My Inner Life, especially since I rushed through writing it so much back then that it isn’t very long at all, but it does give a glimpse into the mind of an eleven-year-old with a strange sense of humor. 

If you’d like to read it in full, though, you can find it here. 

[dukeofishgard]

A short story I wrote, showcasing a side of Duke that’s rarely seen by anyone (let alone in day to day rp, and in fact I don’t think has ever really shown up in roleplay aside from a few near brushes.) Duke, for what it is worth, is not at all a lawful good character. He’s more of a chaotic good who lives by his own principles and morality. Having lived as long as he has, he’s fully convinced that the law sometimes does not help, and really can just hinder justice. As he cannot die, and thus has very little fear of the law for himself- he has no issue putting down those who disrupt society, so long as he deems the crime sufficient enough (he’s not about to kill a petty thief.) I wanted to show the side of him that comes out when he completely loses it- and showcase how uh... I guess dark he can get despite being an incredibly kind and loving person. It’s happened a few times over the course of his thousand year life, and usually when he’s lost someone he cares about.

That being said, TW for blood, violence, death. Story below the cut!

They found him in the afternoon, as the sun hit it’s peak above Coerthas allowing the young boy to see the flash of red amongst the grassy hills- a single broken and blood-streaked hand arising as if in greeting.

“Papa! Papa, there’s a man here! Hurry! Hurry!” “Calm down, Theo. A man? Whe-” the father paused just as he came up behind the rock- one hand going up protectively to push against his son’s chest to prevent him from going any further, “You stay back, Theo. Go and get the first aid from the chocobo…” The boy cocked his head at his father’s grim expression curiously before nodding slowly, and climbing  back down to retrieve what little bandages and necessities they had on hand for emergencies. As soon as he was out of sight, the man took a deep breath- carefully pushing himself up and over the rock, cautiously moving closer to what could only be a dead man laying amongst the grass.

And yet…

“H...Hel. Hello…. Th.ere…” the voice that came from the dead man’s chest was hoarse, and as he spoke, bubbles of blood popped at the corners of his lips as he offered a weak smile. Somehow, despite the deep wound in his stomach that exposed much of his innards and the cracked skin of his lips indicating a severe lack of hydration, the man yet lived- his red eyes still sparkling with life as he stared up. Though his silver hair stuck to his face with sweat- dirty and tangled- his skin tight against his face like a corpse- he somehow looked as alive as any.

“Ser… what in the seven hells happened to you?” The father was in disbelief over the sight before him, surely no man could survive a wound of such magnitude- and certainly not long once dehydration hit.

The man glanced down- looking almost shockingly bored- and then shrugged, “A fi.ght…b.andits….don’t- worr...y. Sent them….off lo.oking wor...se than I. Bu.t. I seem… to be needing… some hel..p.”

“Papa, papa! I’m back-”

The man smiled warmly at the father, “B.est. Not to let. The young…. One… see me, hm?” he asked, “If. you… leave. me … the bandag.es… can ta.ke… care of… my.self…”

“Just a moment Theo-” The father stared at the man, contemplating his words. Even with bandages and first aid, a man in such a condition would die easily from exposure. How you’re not dead yet is already a miracle of the Twelve, he thought- gazing down at the seemingly impossible man before him. With a sigh, he shook his head, “Ser, pardon me- but if we leave you here- you’re liable to head to Halone’s halls overnight. I can’t have that on my conscience and neither will my boy. Let me patch you up as best I can, and you can come stay with my family until you’re better to travel.”

The man blinked- opening his mouth to reply just as a cough overtook him, which slowly turned to a chuckle, “We.ll. Alrigh..t.. If you. Insist.”

-------

It took them only a bell to get him bandaged up enough for travel- and up on the chocobo to make the trek back to their small home- a cottage nestled away in the Coerthas Highlands- warm and inviting with the mother waiting on the porch for them to return.

“Mama! Mama!” the boy ran forward- leaving the father with the chocobo lead as he jumped into his mother’s arms, “We found a man! He’s really hurt-”

“Hilde- get a bed ready- and get a poultice started. He’s got a deep gash in his chest- likely infected considering he said he was out in the wild for a few days at best. I’ll work what I can on him, see if I can get it closed up. Says he’s hungry too- best to make him a thin gruel to start off with. Don’t need him puking up all over the place if suddenly his body gets heated.”

The mother blinked rapidly at the sudden information dump, but nodded firmly as she hugged her son tightly, smiling as she watched her husband unload the injured man, “Well. You boys certainly know how to make an entrance,” she said, “Theo, come with me- let your father tend to the man. You can help me with the poultice and start dinner for us all.”

They left- leaving the father shouldering the impossible man who chuckled, “Lov...ely famil.y… you’v...e got,” he murmured, “V.ery… s.orry… for inconveniencing… your night…”

“S’not any trouble at all, ser. Got to take care of each other out here, don’t we? And those bandits can be right tricky bastards and if you said you took care of ‘em at expense of your own life- well. That means keeping my family safe as well, so taking you in is the least we can do.”

A bed had been quickly thrown together in front of the fire- and it was there the father carefully set down the man- who let out a sigh of relief as the flickering flames of the fire hit his skin, “Th..ank you,” he said softly, “You- nee,dn’t.. Worry so much… of th.e wounds… simpl.y… stitch up… and… bo..dy… wil..l do rest.”

“Ser, it’s likely infec-”

“I kn...ow…” the man looked at him- and suddenly the brilliant red eyes had taken on a somber glean- and a smile filled with sorrow made the father take a step back, “Bu..t. Tru..st me. I. sha...ll. Sur.vive. I’v..e. Survived. M...uch. Wor.se.”

“...Beg your pardon,” the father knelt down beside the bed, peeling back the makeshift bandages they had made before, “But may I ask who you are?”

It was quiet for a moment, only the sound of crackling firewood and the mother and son bustling in the kitchen filled the room.

“M.e..?” the man’s voice was quiet, though his lips quirked up in an amused smile now, “Mo..st… call m...e. The… Du...ke. The. Gho...st. of… Ishg...ard…”

--------------------------------------

True to the man’s words, it did not take long for him to heal to an appreciable state. Within a few days, he was sitting up on his own- face no longer flushed with fever- lips no longer dry and cracked with death. He only needed a day for his voice to grow strong- and the young boy found him fascinating- only leaving his side when his parents demanded he be given space to rest.

At night, when the son went to bed, the father would come to check on his wounds- changing his bandages and speaking with him quietly as the mother sat in her chair- trying her best to mend the man’s clothing.

“You’re… truly the Duke of Ishgard, then?” the father asked one night, “We’ve heard stories… being close to Ishgard and all. And… after seeing well-” he gestured down at the wound that held no traces of inflammation, “Your rather miraculous recovery…”

“Tis true, though I do hope you’ve heard the better stories about me,” he smiled at him- red eyes sparkling in the light of the fire, “I assure you, the more morbid or monstrous stories about me are simply hyperbole. Created out of boredom or misunderstanding. I am what I am, and unfortunately that is a cursed life… but I do my best. With an infinite life, I simply wish to help others live more comfortably. Which speaking of…”

The father shook his head, laughing a bit, “No ser, you ask me every night, but we don’t need you spoiling us. If you’ll help our Theo get better schooling… well, that’s alright. But we can’t ask for more than that. We just did what was right. Immortal or not, you deserve someone to tend to your wounds- not die out in the wild like an animal over and over again.”

The Duke chuckled, nodding his head, “Well… you shall have to pardon me asking you yet again tomorrow night and the night after. Your family has done much for this old man, and tis a good family you’ve got. I only hope you remain happy and healthy.”

“Well, you certainly bring a smile to Theo’s face,” the mother said from her chair, “He’s always ever so eager to hear your stories- and I do thank you very much for sanitizing them a bit for the boy. He’s much too young to hear the full details of the War.”

“Of course, miss. War is not a boy’s game, and I’d much rather he not hear any of it all… but I do understand his curiosity. My daughter was much the same… she- she always enjoyed hearing my tales of the war. My son was much more shy, though he did end up following in my footsteps. Tis been a long time since I’ve had someone so enraptured in my stories! Most simply get bored…”

The father chuckled as he put down the last new fresh bandage, “Well, you are more than welcome to use him as an audience for as long as you like. You’re welcome here anytime, ser. It would be our pleasure.”

The Duke smiled- sadness crossing his face as he turned to gaze into the fire, “Well… I do think I must be taking my leave soon. I was on my way to… take care of something when I was waylaid. I shan’t trouble you all for much longer…”

The father placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Ser, I did say you were welcome here at anytime. Whether you come or go, you shall always have a place at our table.”

--------------------------

He left on a warm afternoon, waving at them with a bright smile- before Theo ran forward- wrapping his arms tightly around him- sobbing, “Please come back, soon! Please, Duke! Will you? Will you? Please promise!” The Duke stared down at him- red eyes wide with sudden concern before his face softened and he knelt down- wiping at the boy’s face, “Theo, I promise as soon as I am finished with my business, I shall be back posthaste. Until then, you take care of your mother and father, yes?” he lifted a hand up to pat the boy’s head who smiled at him.

“Yes ser! I’ll do my best!”

-----------------------------

He returned in the dusk- the sun’s rays setting down across the cabin, a month later. Exhaustion wracked his body, but as he came up to the small cottage- the familiar lit candle in the window- he was filled with a warm energy as he came up to the door.

But as he came forward- he was suddenly filled with an icy dread- the door was open. Just inside he could see a single foot- blood not yet dried pooling around the boot.

Despair began to bubble up inside him, and he forced himself to push it down- his expression going blank as he moved to the side of the door- listening carefully.

“Ha! That was easy, ain’t it? Stupid fools didn’t put up much o’ a fight!”

“O’ bu’ that women sure screeeaaaaamed. Heh, heh… fer such a small li’l family they sure go’ some perdy nice belongin’s. Nice lil savings!”

“We’ll be able to retire now!”

None of them heard the man slide into the room, not until the first knife was thrown- landing straight inside one of the bandit’s skulls- leading him to drop down where he stood, blood oozing out of from the corners of the knife’s edge.

“Who the feck-”

The other turned, immediately drawing their weapons as they stared at the man clad in red before them.

“My apologies,” he said, holding another knife in his hands and looking at his reflection idly inside it, “I heard rats infesting this house and as any good samaritan, felt the need to exterminate such pests.”

He avoided looking down at his feet, where the father lay in a pool of blood- though his eyes searched in vain for any sign of the mother and son.

“Ye lil- lookie here- ye feckin noble bastard- ye coulda just minded yer own bidness, but now yer just gonna get yerself killed!” The bandit paused, snickering slightly, “Those clothes of yers look miiighty fetchin’.”

The man glanced down at his coat, a finger brushing at the intricate brocade, “Correct. I am glad you have an eye for fashion-” he paused, before a slow smile graced his face, “And I am proud that such fine detail work will be the last thing you see.”

In an instant, the man had crossed the room, shoving the bandit up against the wall- driving the dagger through one of his eyes- not even blinking as blood burst from the wound- covering his own face, dripping down his cheeks and lips. Instead he simply wrenched the knife free from the screaming man’s eye, using his thumb up caress the bleeding wound, “I am quite sorry… but I can’t bear to see a grown man sob and babble,” he said before flipping the knife in his hand and jamming it into the man’s throat as deep as he could before wrenching it across the skin and tendons as casually as though he were slicing a loaf of bread.  

Blood burst forth as though a geyser had erupted- coating the mans face and upper body, though he paid no attention even as his cravat slowly became stained with crimson. He held the bandits body closely- keeping him shoved against the wall as he leaned forward so close his lips brushed against the other man’s bloodied face- his mouth gasping for speech as his throat gurgled from it’s wound, “There, much better… you may have enjoyed the screams of the innocents you killed, but I don’t believe you deserve the decency of expressing the pain you’re currently experiencing.”

The bandit stared up at him with his one remaining eye that was slowly losing focus, mouth gaping like a fish as the man slowly dropped him to the floor. He turned then, eyes falling upon the third bandit who had fallen to the floor- fear in his eyes and unable to move in the midst of the bloodlust emanating from the man clad in red. Beside him, now he could see the body of the mother- her clothes mussed- face down with blood staining her hair.

The Duke knelt down in front of the bandit, balancing lightly on the front of his feet as he smiled at the bandit, “Hello. You seem to have relieved yourself-” he pointed at the wet patch on the front of the bandit’s trousers, “Are you afraid?”

“G-Get back…. Get back!” the bandit attempted to scurry backwards, sliding his butt across the wooden floor until he hit the corpse of the woman, “Stay back! I-I’m warnin’ you!”

He tilted his head, seemingly unphased even as blood dripped across his lips, “Is that what they said?” he whispered, moving forward, “Did they ask you to stay back? To get out? To leave them be?”

The bandit whimpered as he moved closer, “P-Please…”

The Duke sprung forward, grabbing the man’s hair, wrenching his head back, “DID THEY ASK YOU? DID THEY BEG?”

“Y-Yes!” The bandit burst into tears, “Yes! Yes! They b-begged! I’m sorry! Please! I’m sorry!”

The man paused, releasing his hold only slightly, bringing a hand up to gently touch the bandit’s face, “Oh… you’re sorry…” he said softly, smearing blood across his cheek, “You’re sorry…”

The bandit shivered as he touched him, but his hand fell to the ground, moving to try and find the dagger he had dropped to the floor, “I-I know who you are…” he whispered, “Y-You’re the Duke- the Cursed Duke of Ishgard… y-you… they say you’re… you’re a forgiving man....”

“Do they?” The Duke replied, his voice taking on a dreamy tone, “Do they say that? Do they say that great cursed Monster of Ishgard is forgiving?”

“Y-Yeah! T-That you’re a merciful man…” his hands finally found the wooden handle of the dagger, fingers wrapping around it carefully, “T-That you… you give… those who- who’re sorry… a second… second chance…”

“That right… is that what the rumors are now?” The Duke asked, still gently caressing the man’s face, “That I forgive?”

“Yeees…” the man whined out, gripping the dagger tightly, “So p-please ser…. Forgive! Me!”

He brought the dagger up- plunging it into the Duke’s shoulder….

But the man didn’t move.

He didn’t flinch. He didn’t release his grip on the bandit and wince in pain and worry.

He slowly turned his face, staring down at the dagger coming out of his flesh with a dull expression. The bandit looked between the dagger and the man horrified, beginning to shake in fear once more.

Keeping one hand grasped in the bandit’s hair, he took his other- pulling the dagger out with one swift movement- staring at his with a calm expression even as his own blood dripped off it and onto the bandit’s face.

“Forgiveness…” he said softly, turning back to the bandit, “Lad.... I am going to give you a very poignant lesson… one I hope you remember in your next life should you be given one…”

He leaned in closely- lips once more brushing against the other man’s skin, as soft as though they were lovers whispering to one another, “Rumors are just that… rumors. And some rumors are based in lies and hearsay… or are the truth blown to absurdity. I am not a merciful man, nor am I forgiving man. I am simply a damaged man barely keeping it together. The rumors surrounding me are both lies and truths, and can be so hard to tell what is real and not,” he pulled back, smiling at him serenely, “It is not my job to dole out mercy to those who’ve sinned… I simply allow you to beg for forgiveness from those better equipped at the end of your pathetic existence. That… is the sort of man I am. A pity you won’t be alive to correct such rumors of mercy.”

He flipped the dagger around, moving his other hand to the man’s jaw and squeezing hard- not even flinching as he heard the bones begin to crack and splinter beneath his grasp- his head began to buzz loudly- drowning out the man’s screams. Wordlessly, he brought the knife down- burying it into the man’s skull, not at all phased as blood spurted out and the man began to jerk beneath him. After a moment he took it out again, staring down at the broken man’s face before a surge of anger filled him- both hands moving to clutch the dagger as he began to furiously hack at the man’s face, blood and bits of flesh coating his gloves- his face- as he screamed until his voice was hoarse- his own throat coated in blood.

No other sounds could be heard by him in his grief, only the sound of his blood pumping in his skull, the sick sound of the knife grinding into what was left of the man’s face as he felt his sanity slowly shriveling as the bandit’s face began to turn to nothing more than raw meat beneath his fingers.

And then suddenly, amidst the pounding in his head- he heard it. A small, tear-streaked voice.

“D-Duke… Duke…”

The knife fell from his hands instantly, eyes wide as he turned to find the owner- the son standing amidst the carnage.

“D-Duke… I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…” he was sobbing, looking suddenly every bit the frail young boy he was, “Y-You told me, to take care of m-my parents… and-and I- I ran away… I h-hid…”

The Duke sat there dumbly, covered in blood and staring at the sobbing child before his mind slowly began to click into place- crawling over the bodies to take him into his arms, “Theo… Theo- no, no… son, you did the right thing. You- you saved yourself… and that is- that is-” he let out a choked sob, clutching the boy against his body, “You saved yourself… it is- your parents… would be so happy… that you are safe…”

The two sat there, clutching one another amidst the bloodied site as the world turned dark around them.

-------------------------

“Ser…”

“I told you, simply call me Duke, Theo. You did before, you hardly need to start with the honorifics now, lad!”

Theo frowned, glancing up at him curiously before nodding, “A-Alright, Duke. But… why are we going to Ishgard exactly? A-And why to your House?” he looked down at the ground, kicking a rock ahead of them, “You could have….- an orphanage or something…”

“I’ve the means to take care of you myself- well… my House does. I hardly go there myself these days, but you needn’t worry- you’ll be in good hands. And I’ll- I’ll check up on you occasionally… besides…” he paused, before kneeling down in front of the boy- holding his shoulders firmly, “I promised your parents I would make sure you got proper schooling… for the kindness they showed me… and I-” he swallowed hard, eyes closing as he tried to continue, “I couldn’t- save them… Theo. But you’re alive and- and that is- is a miracle. And I shall not let their sacrifice be in vain.”

“I…” Theo frowned, but nodded slowly, “A-Alright… if you say so. And you’ll visit? Right…?”

He nodded, standing up and offering his hand to the boy, “Yes, of course,” he gave him a wink, “Need to make sure you’re following your studies.”

“Grandpapa! You came to visit!!” A cloaked girl suddenly came running down from the steps of the Estate- barrelling straight into Duke’s side with a giggle, “Grandpapa! Grandpapa!”

“Ha-Hatsu…! Hatsu! What have I told you about rushing him! Be gentle!” A similarly cloaked woman came soon after the girl, smiling warmly at the duke beneath the veil covering her face, “Grandfather… tis a pleasure to see you- and so soon. Am I to guess this is the boy?”

Duke nodded, smiling down at the girl and offering a tweak of her nose, before looking back to the woman, “Yes. This is Theo- he is to be treated as any family, he’s about Hatsu’s age… so should get along well, yes?” he knelt down, smiling still, “Hatsu… Theo’s been through a lot, you’ll be kind to him for Grandpapa, right?”

The girl peered around him, glancing at the boy curiously before nodding, “Of course, Grandpapa!”

Duke gave her an affectionate pat on the head before turning to Theo, staring at him carefully, “Now Theo, while my House is certainly far more relaxed than most Ishgardian Houses… we do have certain… secrets amongst us- that I hope you can keep for us. And in return, you shall not want for anything. I know… it can never bring back your parents but I-”

Theo shook his head, “Se-.... D-Duke…” he sniffled slightly, wiping at his eyes, “T-Thank you...thank you!”

He smiled, moving forward to hug the boy carefully, “Listen to Lady Kisa well, and little Hatsu here will be a good friend for you… and- lad… it won’t be better right away. The pain you feel may never truly be soothed… but you’ve people here who shall care for you. Lean on them… do not succumb to your grief on your own.”

“Thank you, Grandfather-” the cloaked woman moved forward, touching Theo lightly on the shoulder, “We’ve your room all ready for you, dear… Hatsu can show you there. And- Grandfather… will you at least… stay for tea perhaps?”

Hatsu looked up at him pleadingly, “Please, Grandpapa! Please, please stay for tea!”

Duke hesitated briefly- mouth opening to refuse before his face softened at the looks the two children gave him, nodding with a chuckle, “Tea, but that is it…” he said softly, standing up, “Shall we?”

----Present Day-----

She sat at her desk, rubbing her forehead with two fingers as she stared down at the sloppily signed paperwork in front of her, “Gods… Dracyn’s gotten him to do his paperwork, but Fury Grandfather could at least try to make it legible.”

From across the room, dark-haired hyur chuckled, “Well, that is just like ser Duke, isn’t it?” he asked, coming over with a tray of tea and biscuits, “Whenever he’d come by for one of his rare visits, he’d always chide me for my penmanship and my schoolwork- bit rich coming from him, hm?”

Hatsu smiled up at her husband as he set down her tray and moved to rub her shoulders gently, “Well… to be fair, I think he was- you know… trying to give you… you know- the feeling of parental scolding,” she said, “You know he still feels guilty, Theo. He just wanted the best for you.”

Theo leaned over, giving her a small kiss, “Oh I know…” he said softly, “Though… he’s certainly mellowed out recently. He can certainly be around us for longer periods of time before he drowns in his guilt. It’s nice.”

Hatsu sighed, shaking her head and pushing aside the paperwork and looking up at him, “This is giving me a headache, trying to decipher his words. Shall we go for a walk, love?”

He smirked, nodding and offering a hand, “But of course, my lady,” he said helping her up, “You go on ahead, I’ll meet up with you in a second, alright?”

She nodded, giving him a quick kiss before disappearing. Theo took a moment, grabbing his coat before staring up at the portrait of the man- that though he was dark-haired- bared the same resemblance to the Duke that all knew.

He smiled up at him, smiling gently, “Thank you… again,” he said softly, “For everything.”

[venusiangguk]

Omygod stella this is so worth the wait!! Wait actually im sad oc did not hook up with Mr. Seojun like they have so much chemistry?? And he’s freaking charming too!!

Finally jk got his head out of his a$$ and got oc back! Think with this chapter we understand the depth of oc’s pain and insecurities.

Loved the smexy time as usual! Though shiz i was aching it to be fast and rough wew 🤭

and also lidol Nari remembers oc and she still has the narwhal made me tear up. Nari best girl!! Thank you for gifting us this chapter in the new year!! ❤️ btw will this be the last instalment for tao?

as charming as mr seojoon is he has more relationship commitment issues than jaykay !! my man does not want to settle down, he is a career baddie and maybe a bit of a slut !!

yeah its going to make a bit of time for oc to start feeling Really secure with jk again, but he truly is doing his best to mend everything !! i have faith in him!!

they went kinda fast at the very end... at least that's how i pictured it, i hope the way i wrote it wasn't confusing 😭

nari #1 baby for sure... thank u so much for readinggggg i love u <3

[aomineavenue]

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: completed. | series masterlist

↩ at peace | dearest daddy

mia speaks!: 

okay, wow. So it took awhile for us to get here and I apologize for that but we’re finally done with Homesick, wew. It’s been a challenge but I’m so happy and grateful for all the positivity you guys have been sharing with me. Also, thank you so much for your patience. 

It’s been an emotional ride but we’re finally done. There may be a few short stories after this chapter but no promises. Hopefully I get the chance to though, I do want to be able to. But for now, if you guys have any requests for imagines/scenarios with this series, don’t be afraid to send them over!

Also, big thanks to @oii-sugasan​ and @sunshinesero​ for beta-reading this for me! I apologize if this chapter is any way lacking compared to the first nine chapters, it’s been awhile since I wrote anything so I hope this was a great way to end this series. 

I love you guys so much, I’m so glad to be (sorta) back. I hope you guys enjoy this!

Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly. It had been seven months since your life had once again made drastic changes. It often surprised you how time flew by so fast.

Seven months since your two precious boys had been introduced to the man that they now call their father. And well, seven months since you had been reunited with the love of your life. Sure, it had ups and downs, it wasn’t bound to be perfect since the two of you were your own person. It was inevitable for such different personalities to clash, it didn’t help when there were two children present, one of them being as handful as their own father.

Atsumu had shown that he was a doting father, despite only being a part of their lives for less than a year, he had put his new family as his top priority, wanting to make up for lost time. He would instantly drop anything and everything, sometimes even volleyball when he could for times when his family needed him. Not that his new family had been a burden since then, his sons and of course you, have been nothing but loving and supportive. Showing up to games to cheer him on and the twins attending his training to either join or just watch their father and new favorite uncles.

It had been a rollercoaster ride since it was officially announced that Atsumu was off the market and that he actually had sons. Some fans were supportive, believing the news and claiming that both the young twins were striking replicas of the volleyball player. And of course, there were fans that were against it, raging how you were nothing more than a money-grabbing harlot and that you had probably lied to Atsumu about the twins being his.

They were quickly shut down, of course, by not just fans but various people close to the volleyball setter who defended you without you even asking for it. You weren’t going to lie, that particular month filled with venomous words thrown your direction stressed you out but it was mostly because of your motherly instincts, wanting to keep your sons away from such unnecessary drama. You and Atsumu had decided to ignore the majority of the vile comments but seeing you so emotionally exhausted had only fueled the already tiny flame in Atsumu. He was quick to announce that he would no longer tolerate any form of slander towards his family and would handle things legally if anyone were to step out of line.

And by the next few weeks, the hate simmered and the stress that had engulfed you and Atsumu in its grip had vanished. All that was left that made you both worry was Atsuhiro’s health.

Fortunately, Atsuhiro’s sickness didn’t grow worse as time passed by since his first transfusion. If anything, the boy was healthier and it was very much evident in his features. The healthy glow returned to his skin, he was smiling more and had shown his usual energetic-self like before he had fallen ill. Atsumu on the other hand, much to Atsuhiro’s dismay, had started becoming such an overprotective father. It took a lot of begging from Atsuhiko for their father to spend the day outside of the protective bubble of your apartment.

It took time and patience from everyone’s side to get this far, and for Atsumu, (and of course, you) he didn’t mind it one bit. He had grown more mature, despite his twin brother’s disagreements, he not only took care of himself more but he had become a role model to his sons.

Not only that, but as his relationship with his sons grew stronger, the love the two of you had for each other only seemed to intensify as well. Sure, the two of you had ups and downs back then in your friendship but it was as if time and distance hadn’t kept the two of you apart. If anything, it was as if it made your bond stronger. Two best friends, reuniting and finally expressing their true desires, it was easy for the two of you to fall into a comfortable routine.

“Where are the boys of the hour? I’ve been wanting to see how good Hiko looks in my jersey!”

Bokuto interrupts your thoughts for a brief second before you return your focus to your duties of cutting up the vegetables in the kitchen. You can’t help but chuckle at the sour expression that graces Atsumu’s expression as he fills a tray of refreshments on one of the island counters. “Don’t remind me, Bo-kun.”

“You’re just jealous that your sons didn’t want to wear your jersey," he teases, a playful grin on his lips as he lifts himself off of the ground by his hands to sit on the counter.

The scowl on Atsumu's face only deepens at the reminder, "Get off the counter, Bo-kun. Don't be rude. Why don't you actually start to help and give out these refreshments to the guests?"

You watch in amusement as the two exchange their usual banter around the kitchen of your home in Hyogo. It was decided a week ago after Atsuhiro's second transfusion was a success, that the twins would celebrate their birthday back at Hyogo instead of having the guests cramp up in your small apartment in Kanagawa.

It was also then decided by your sons what theme they would be having for their birthday. It was traditional for the twins to have their birthdays themed depending on their current interest. Lately, since the two were very fixated on volleyball due to their new favorite uncles and of course, their father, it was decided that they would be having a volleyball themed birthday where the guests were required to wear their favorite player's jersey.

For a minute, your new friend Bokuto had been rather excited upon hearing the idea.

"So show up with our own jerseys? Great!"

And as for Atsumu, he was excited at the prospect of seeing his own sons wearing his jersey. That is, until his sons destroyed such dreams.

"Are the two of you really sure?" you hear Atsumu's voice echoing from the twins' bedroom throughout the walls of the apartment as you stepped inside, shutting the door behind you as you ventured further into the comforts of your home. “Like really? Those are your choices?”

You grew curious as you slipped out of your shoes and let your hair loose from its tight bun, wincing slightly from your tugging. There was a tinge of whininess dripping from Atsumu’s voice that you couldn’t help but wonder what the three of them were talking about. It wasn’t unusual for Atsumu to be around when you had to work on days where the boys came home from school or when they didn’t have school.

At most times, when Atsumu didn't have training, he would be the one taking care of the boys instead of your mother or Osamu. Majority of his free time away from volleyball was spent with his sons, wanting to make up for the time he had lost. And there wasn't a day where the young twins wouldn't ask about their father and if he was going to visit. It was as if they were scared one of them would disappear, wanting to spend the entirety of their lives together.

"Maybe we can go with superheroes this year!" Atsumu's voice grew louder as you reached the door to the room where they occupied. Leaning against the door's frame, your eyes land on the back of Atsumu's head as he's seated on the carpeted floor facing the twins who were playing with their action figures. A small grin curling upon your lips at the sight of Atsumu’s slightly dishevelled bleached hair.

Atsuhiro, who seems to have the ability to sense your presence, looks up from his toys and in an instant, his eyes widen happily. He was about to greet you but you quickly pressed your index finger against your lips to signal the little boy not to announce your presence just yet, wanting to see Atsuhiko and Atsumu's interaction. The smart little boy that he is, nods and returns to his toys.

"But daddy," Atsuhiko protests, his focus still on the action figures in his hands, "We did superheroes last year! I wanna wear Uncle Bo's jersey!"

You fight the urge to burst out into a fit of giggles as soon as you catch a glimpse of Atsumu slumping his shoulders dejectedly. Now you understand as to why he had his moppy voice on. "But don't you want to wear daddy's jersey for your birthday?"

"But daddy," Atsuhiko lets out a sigh, looking up at his father with a look that meant the little boy wasn't up for any arguments on the matter, "Uncle Bo is the best! So I wanna wear his jersey!"

You could have sworn you heard Atsumu whine, suddenly wishing you had decided to film this from the start. "But it will make daddy really happy if you wear his jersey!"

Atsuhiko shakes his head as he continues to play with his action figures, "But I want Uncle Bo and I to match!"

Atsumu sighs in defeat before turning his attention over to Atsuhiro, looking hopeful. "What about you, Hiro? Would you wear daddy's jersey?"

"No, daddy. I wanna wear Kageyama-san's jersey," he nods with a proud smile, "Wanna be just like him! He's so good!"

"But daddy's just as good a setter as Tobio-kun!" Atsumu cries out, throwing his hands up in the air, "betrayed by my own children. 'Samu isn't going to let me live this down."

This time, you let your presence be known by finally releasing a bubble of laughter. Atsuhiko instantly drops his action figures and rushes over with a happy squeal. Atsumu pivots his body, looking up at you with such a pitiful gaze as he juts his lower lips out ot a pout, "I want new children."

Needless to say, Atsumu had been pouty ever since and has been dreading today due to the reason that every single one of his friends had found out about it. He had tried a handful of times to change their minds, unfortunately, the young twins won't budge.

“It’s not my fault your kids like me better than you,” he huffs, folding his arms across his chest, “I am an ordinary ace after all!”

A scowl graces on Atsumu’s features which causes the other occupants in the room to chuckle in amusement. It wasn’t as if Atsumu didn’t like the idea of his sons becoming close to his teammates, but lately, it was getting harder for the setter to share. “Get your own children!”

“Ah, about that...” Bokuto trails off with a nervous chuckle which causes everyone to fall silent and look at him in curiosity, “I actually will be getting my own child soon, I think.”

“You think?” you ask with an arched brow, “You can’t just think you’re having a child, Bokuto-san.”

Atsumu interjects, “And aren’t you in love with that best friend of yours? What happened to never being with anyone else but her?”

He waves his hand in the air dismissively with a frown etched on his lips, “Well, I can’t exactly be with her when she just got married.”

“You are so getting your ear torn off by the management when this news gets out,” Atsumu snickers, which he earns a smack to his shoulder from you. “Ow!”

You narrow your gaze at your boyfriend, completely unamused with his behavior. “Don't be dramatic, I didn't hit you that hard!" Letting out a huff as you wipe your hands on the apron you were wearing, "You aren’t helping Bokuto, ‘Tsumu.”

His lips curl up to a cheeky grin at the sight of your expression. He leans forward to nuzzle his nose against your cheek, your cheeks growing warm from the public display of affection. His heart swells from your reaction to his gesture, murmuring teasingly, “Sorry, darling.”

“Please, don’t make me barf.” Osamu interrupts with his features scrunched up in distaste from the interaction between you and his brother.

Atsumu sticks his tongue out at his brother who returns the gesture with a shake of his head. His arm snakes around your waist to pull you closer to his side as he returns his attention over to his teammate, “Well, is the woman making you marry her?”

“Making you pay for child support?” Osamu quickly adds.

Atsumu quips with a chuckle, “Threatening to expose your sins?”

You interrupt the two with a glare towards them, “Stop ganging up on him!”

Bokuto lets out a laugh as he begins helping your mother set up the desserts onto one of the trays to bring outside to the guests, “Nothing like that, she’s pretty chill and we’ve gotten pretty close lately. So we’re going to co-parent.”

“That’s very mature of you, Bokuto-kun.” your mother compliments him with a smile before patting his back.

He feels his cheeks grow warm from the compliment, his heart swelling with pride. “Thank you.”

“Maybe you’ll end up falling for her anyway,” Osamu teases with a smirk playing on his lips, leaning against one of the kitchen counters.

He shakes his head at the idea as his brows knit together, “Jess and I won’t fall in love.”

“Jess?” Atsumu blinks at the familiar name before his eyes widens at the realization, releasing his grip from your waist, “Jess, that journalist that you showed around town when she first visited Japan?”

Bokuto nods with a smile gracing his features, “Yeah, she’s pretty cool.”

“Maybe you’ll learn to love her in your own way through your child,” you suggest with a shrug of your shoulders as you began untying the apron you were wearing upon realizing what time it was.

Atsumu shakes his head and responds before Bokuto could utter a single word, “No, no. That’s impossible. Bo-kun’s heart belongs to his best friend.”

“Stop teasing him,” you scold your boyfriend with a shake of your head, handing over the apron you successfully took off, “make yourself useful and help out here in the kitchen,"

"Bu—"

Cutting him off with a stern glare as you lift a tray from one of the kitchen counters and handing it over to Bokuto, a small smile gracing your lips, "Don't mind him, Bo. Can you bring these to the backyard and help out if anyone else needs help? I think Reiji needs a hand setting up the bouncy castle,"

Retrieving the tray from your hands, his eyes lighting up from the excitement, "bouncy castle, you say?"

"That's for the kids, Bo-kun." Atsumu scoffs but soon lets his lips form into a pout when he had been ignored, turning his attention over to you once Bokuto slips out of the kitchen, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to check on the boys to see if they're ready for their big entrance," you muse with an amused grin. Of course, you knew what your sons had prepared for the big entrance that they insisted. Atsumu had pestered both you and the young twins since he had heard of their plan but as your sons refused to budge, you had feigned clueless, claiming that your sons had opted it to be a surprise.

Little did Atsumu know that you had helped your sons pull off such an idea.

"I don't get why they have to have a big entrance," he sighs, brows furrowing as he racks through his thoughts on what the surprise could be. It didn't help that he was both curious and excited at what his sons might pull off.

Osamu lets out a snort, rolling his eyes at his twin brother as a smirk curls upon his lips, "What do you mean? They're your kids."

"What does that even mean?" Atsumu scowls as he slips on the apron you had handed over, walking over to where your mother was situated to take over what you were doing.

You shake your head at the two bickering older twins and shoot a look of sympathy towards your mother that was going to be left with them in the kitchen before she waves you off. Your heart was swelling from happiness at how natural everything felt, despite the silly banter thrown around. It was home.

As you step into your childhood living room, you're hit with a nostalgic wave from the memories surrounding the whole area. Though it may be a mixture of good and bad memories, since you had come to terms that you were no longer running away from your past, you only feel comfort. You made your way through your childhood home over to the bedroom that had been renovated to the liking of your twin boys.

The mere thought of your boys growing to love the place where you had grown up yourself was enough to bring a smile to your face. You press your knuckles against the wooden door to signal your presence by knocking on it repeatedly, “Are you two ready?” you ask, your voice probably muffled on the other side. Your fingers wrap around the handle of the door and as you were about to twist and push it open, the door instantly snaps back shut with a loud thud. “Can’t-”

“No, mommy!” Atsuhiko screeched causing you to blink from both the surprised force and tone. Pressing your palms and ear against the door to hear what the commotion was all about, you frown upon hearing only their shuffling feet, “What are you two doing? Guests have arrived and your party will be starting soon,”

“We’re almost ready, mommy!” Atsuhiro assures you from the other side.

A chuckle escapes your lips at their antics as you decide to not interfere any further, “Alright you two, just be sure to be out in a few. You don’t want your daddy to come fetch you. It’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Okay mommy!” you heard Atsuhiko yell out, their excited muffled voices purely obvious from the other side that you couldn’t help but smile.

On the other hand, back in the kitchen, the father of your twins was having his own little dilemma back in the kitchen. It wasn’t as if he was uncomfortable being around your mother, but it was more like he felt he was still lacking.

Despite him knowing that your mother and you hadn’t had the greatest relationship when your father passed away, he still wanted to be someone your mother would approve of. He didn’t know whether your mother knew the whole story of the relationship between the two of you but being away from you and your sons during most of their childhood was enough to make him worry. The mere idea of his sons looking up to him sent his heart soaring, but of course, he also wanted your mother to feel secure enough for him to be together with you and the twins.

“I’ll bring out these sliced up fruits outside,” Osamu cuts the clear tension surrounding the kitchen. Atsumu resists the urge to glare at his twin for leaving him behind with your mother, knowing full well that his brother knows his current insecurities. A small smirk graces Osamu’s features but not the obvious one that would make your mother notice.

Atsumu watches his twin slip out of the kitchen with a tray full of food for the guests before flickering his gaze over to your mother situated at the other side of the room, making final touches to the cupcakes. “Is there anything else that I can do?”

Without looking up, a smile etches on your mother’s face. “No, it’s fine. We’re just about done with everything.”

“It looks good,” he states with a nod of his head, not really knowing what to say.

Placing the piping bag to the side, your mother lifts her head up to look towards the direction of Atsumu and wipes her hands on the apron she’s currently wearing, “You know you can always start calling me mom.”

The mere sentence made Atsumu want to leap in excitement, but at the same time he was nervous, a sudden fear of messing things up engulfing him. “I don’t want to overste-”

“Oh please,” your mother waves her hand in the air with a light chuckle, “I’ve known you since you were eight. We’re practically family. So you might as well call me mom.”

Atsumu couldn’t help but let the corners of his mouth tug up to a wide smile, “Alright, mom.”

“I’m really happy that the two of you decided to work things out,” your mother spoke with a smile as she delicately places the cupcakes on the cupcake stand.”

His feet shuffled across the room to help your mother stack the cupcakes onto the stand, “We had to for the kids anyway.”

Your mother hums in thought for a second before responding, “I think the kids were just the push the two of you needed. If anything, I’ve always thought the two of you would always end up together since the two of you always leaned on each other for anything.”

He nods his head slowly, leaning against the counter as he feels his heart swell with happiness. “I guess you’re right, mom. I did lean on her majority of the time when we were growing up. I guess I still am now. I just wish I could make her happy.”

“Don’t worry, you do. Before she left Hyogo, I know for a fact that she was miserable in this house after her dad had passed. You were the only one giving her a reason to move forward,” your mother spoke, sadness dripping from her voice.

A sigh escapes Atsumu’s lips as his features scrunch up to something that resembles pain. “I was also the reason why she left. I may be even the biggest reason why she left.”

Your mother extends an arm out and places a hand on Atsumu’s arm, trying her best to give assurance and comfort, “You weren’t the only reason behind that. I don’t know if she’s told you, but I had neglected her. I’m not proud of it and apologies are probably never enough for forgiveness. I was barely a mother when my husband had passed. I was almost an empty shell and instead of being a moth-”

“Mom,” Atsumu cuts her off and grabs hold of her hand in his own, “Don’t blame yourself. She loves you very much. It’s all in the past. We’ll be able to move forward, we already are.”

The two were interrupted with Osamu’s arrival, knocking by the kitchen’s door frame to announce his return. A smile etched on his lips at the scene before him, “Hey, Y/N wants everyone in the living room. Apparently the boys are ready to make their big entrance.”

Your mother excuses herself as soon as she removes the apron tied around her, excitement clearly evident in her features. Atsumu knew it well, despite the relationship that you had been slowly rebuilding with your mother, she was just as excited as him to have the twins into her life. She has equally doted on, if not more, on the twins ever since and well, Atsumu wouldn’t have it any other way.

Atsumu knew for a fact that you adored the time you’ve been sharing with your mother. As long as you were happy, nothing else mattered.

Osamu gives him a pat on the back, arching a brow in curiosity as they make their way out of the kitchen, “Everything alright?”

Atsumu gives him a nod, giving him the largest grin that he could muster. “Yeah, definitely.”

“You look disgusting,” Osamu jokes, pretending to shudder which causes Atsumu to give him a shove as they step into the living room where most of the guests have already gathered.

“Hey ‘tsumu!” Bokuto calls out from next to you as soon as Atsumu comes into view. “Hurry up! I’m excited to see Hiko in my jersey!”

Atsumu rolls his eyes as he approaches, grumbling to himself. As soon as he reaches your side, he places a quick kiss to your temple before snaking an arm around your waist to pull you closer. “Yeah, yeah. You have to stop rubbing it in. We get it.”

You couldn’t help but let a laugh escape your lips as you lean yourself into Atsumu’s warmth, “Oh come on now you two, focus on the big entrance will you?”

Bokuto just snickers from the side while Atsumu sends him a glare. If you were to describe the two of them, they were practically acting like petty children but you know those two will eventually switch attitudes as soon as your twins step out to make their entrance.

You flicker your gaze over to Osamu who was situated a few steps ahead from your little group, trying his best to act natural with his phone up. The two of you had discussed prior to the party that he would be the one to film the whole thing going on. Your little boys had practically begged their uncle to film their big entrance but mostly, what you hoped Osamu to capture was Atsumu’s reaction.

A part of you expects that he would be a grinning mess at the sight of his kids but also, you’re also hoping he’d be speechless from all the teasing his kids put him through of having to wear someone else’s jersey.

“What’s taking them so long?” Atsumu asks, tilting his head slightly hoping to meet your eyes as his fingers play with the hem of your shirt.

As you were about to answer him, the familiar voices of your two boys echo throughout the room from the top of the stairs. You didn’t even have to look to know about their surprise since you know very well of what they had planned. Well, obviously, you had helped them out with picking up the jerseys that they were going to wear.

However, you had wanted to capture Atsumu’s reaction to your boys with your own two eyes instead of just watching it from a video. And honestly speaking, you didn’t think you’d fall in love with this man any more than you already do but here you are.

Just the mere sight of his features scrunching up to a look of awe was enough for your heart to swell. It looked as if he was close to tears as watches the twins descend the stairs with the prodest smiles they could muster.

You pry yourself away from his side as soon as the twins approach Atsumu, knowing full well what was going to happen as they had practiced what they were going to say. Flickering your gaze over to Atsuhiko and Atsuhiro, seeing them in Atsumu’s high school volleyball jersey made your own eyes water despite the fact that you were the ones who had gotten them the uniform a week ago.

“Wh-What are you guys wearing?” Atsumu almost chokes out his words, “What happened to the jerseys that we bought that you said you were going to wear?”

Atsuhiko throws his arms out in the air, smiling widely. “We changed daddy!”

“We wanna wear your jersey daddy,” Atushiro nods his head enthusiastically, lifting his hand up to grip onto Atsumu’s shirt.

Atsuhiko wraps his arms around Atsumu’s waist, “‘cause you’re our favorite volleyball player daddy!”

The scene itself was enough for everyone to watch in awe, a few of the guests that were invited had their own phones up to capture the moment with smiles on their faces, the others were almost practically in tears themselves, and well there was also Bokuto by the side with his pouty self at the realization that neither of his nephews were wearing his jersey like he thought they would. Atsumu on the other hand, had eventually dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms around his two boys, burying his face in between them as he let out his own tears stream down his face from the overwhelming joy that coursed through him.

Yes, this is your family.

This is your home.

You stare out the window from the kitchen of your childhood home, a smile on your face at the beautiful afternoon of your backyard full with people you adore and have missed so much. 

The party was still in full swing despite the sun about to set, the laughter from the guests and a few children present rang in the air. Happiness had engulfed your heart and honestly, you had trouble believing it yourself but here you were. 

You wouldn’t trade this for anything. 

An arm snakes around your waist from behind and you would have been startled if you hadn’t felt Atsumu’s presence a minute ago. Despite not having seen each other in years, everything about him was still familiar. Sure, there were a few things about him that you didn’t know but that didn’t mean that he still wasn’t your Atsumu that you’ve grown to love. 

“Thank you,” he whispers as he nuzzles his nose into your hair, a smile playing on his lips. 

You place your hands atop of his and lean yourself back into his warmth, your brows furrowing in confusion. “What are you thanking me for?” 

“For everything,” he lets out a sigh, causing a shiver to run down your spine from the heat radiating from his breath close to your ear, “For giving me two amazing boys and for existing yourself.” 

Pivoting your body around so that you were facing Atsumu, your hands settling on his chest as you look up at him with your lips curling up to an assuring smile, “Thank you.” 

“And what for?” Atsumu questions, matching your own smile with his own as his hands cup your face. He lowers his head slowly, nudging your nose with his own as the pads of his thumbs brush delicately against your skin. 

Heat spreads across your cheeks at his gestures, feeling shy yourself but despite that, the majority of what you felt was only comfort in being in his arms. “For loving me as much as I love you.” 

He hums in response, placing a quick kiss to your lips. “No, I probably do love you more. More than you can imagine.” 

Before you could respond, he places his lips back firmly on yours and your eyelids flutter shut as if on instinct. The hands of yours that were resting on his chest eventually found their way around his torso to pull him close. Tilting your head to the side, the kiss itself deepens as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

It just felt so natural being with him.

Before the kiss could grow more heated however, a loud yell from outside had interrupted the both of you causing you to pull away much to both of your dismay. Your heads turn towards the direction of the commotion, the bouncy castle coming into view.

Or rather, the depleting bouncy castle with Bokuto and Hinata coming out hastily in laughter. 

You shake your head at the scene, a bubble of laughter leaving your lips before turning your head back over to look at the man before you. Just when you had decided to pull back and return to your duties of being a mother, he wraps his arms back around your waist to pull you back against him. Another laugh escapes your lips as you playfully slap his chest, “What now? We have a party going on, we have to entertain our gue-” 

“Move in with me,” he interrupts, his features showing nothing but seriousness. 

You meet his sincere gaze with your own and your heart makes a leap out of joy. There was only one answer you could possibly give. 

“Yes.”

[tteokdoroki]

💜-But imagine that for the past week both katsuki and Eijiro have been so teasing towards you, that you decide to get a little revenge. When they are both asleep you managed to tie their arms up, leaving them exposed to you. You decide for all their teasing to tease them back. You slide under the covers and begin to give kirishima’s cock little kitten licks while gently stroking katsuki’s cock, you hear their groans and you feel them squirm under their touch.

“What the fuck,” you hear katsuki say, his legs squirming while you stroke his cock. Then Kiri wakes up just as confused. You know they aren’t gonna be happy at your actions, but that can be considered payback for this week.

You hear Eijiro moan as you run your tongue up the length of his cock, circling it around the tip,”fuck, pebble, what do you think you’re doing?” Eijiro groans.

You hum around his cock, picking up the pace while you stroke katsuki’s cock. Switching from a slow teasing stroke to something fast. You take your mouth off of Eijiro’s cock and switch to katsuki’s. Your hand grips Eijiro and begins to do slow teasing strokes enjoying hearing Eijiro’s groans from being so close to cumming but kept on the edge, and hearing katsuki moan.

“ don’t be a tease pebble, you don’t want to be punished.” Eijiro warned.

“Ohhh, I’m so scared,” you mocked. Unfortunately for you, that was the last straw. You heard a loud crack and heavy rope drop to the floor, the blankets and covers were thrown off of you. Two strong hands grab your arm and waist, hauling you up towards katsuki, one hand grabs both arms and presses them against your back, the other hand grabs your face, forcing you to look up at his angry red eyes.

“Awww, you thought you could dom us didn’t you? How stupid. But I guess you’re just our dumb little slut, huh? “Katsuki says, you can feel kirishima binding your hands together behind your back.

“Now pebble, I thought you would have known better. I think our dumb little slut needs to be reminded who is in control here. “ Eijiro says slapping your ass, “I guess this is going to be a nice way to break in that paddle,”he laughs as katsuki grabs your squirming body, turning you to lay on his lap, arms bound together in the middle of your back.

“Remember your safe word baby, what are they?” Katsuki says pressing the cold wooden paddle against your bare ass gently, letting you get a feel first.

“Red is stop, yellow is slow down, green means okay,” you reply.

“And if you can’t talk?” He asks

“ three taps,”

“Good girl.” Eijiro says, grabbing your face. He loves to make you hold eye contact during your punishments, seeing your crying face, how your face gets red.

Without warning katsuki swings the wooden paddle down on your ass, making a loud smacking noise. You have to hold back your moans.

“Count. You know what you’re supposed to do. “ katsuki warns, bringing the paddle down again.

“One, thank you master,”

By the tenth strike, your ass is breath red, tears are streaming down your face and your struggles have died down.

You feel katsuki’s hand wander between your legs, a finger slides in your soaking wet folds, you release a moan by accident.

“Did you learn your lesson brat? Or do you need more than just the paddle? Your ass is already red hot, and you’re practically dripping on my lap. Making a fucking mess,” katsuki says.

“I’m sorry master, I’m sorry daddy.” You apologize through tears. Katsuki grabs your bound arms and hauls you up into a sitting position,”don’t ever try that shit again, got it?” Katsuki says, you nod your head yes.

“Good, now clean up your mess,”he commands, pushing your face down towards his lap, making you lick up your juices.

You feel something cold on your ass, making your squirm. One quick spank makes you stop immediately,”stay still pebble, this is gonna help. “ he says rubbing that cold gel on your burning ass. He keeps on trailing his fingers around your second hole. He pushes a lubed up finger in your ass, making you moan.

“ oh, does our little slut like it when her ass is played with? “ Eijiro asks, sliding a finger to feel your wet cunt,”oh you’re practically dripping,” he says with a laugh. He opens a drawer, taking out the plug katsuki and he loves.

“Relax pebble, enjoy this,” you feel the luved up plug make its way into your ass, stretching you out so nicely.

“Fuck, you look so hot with that plug pebble. Turn around, let your master see,” you obey, turning around to face Eijiro. Your eyes train on his large cock, he grabs your head and guides your mouth to his cock, you feel two hands on your waist, guiding your wet pussy above katsuki’s cock. Hands guiding you to bounce on his cock while kirishima’s hands guide you to take him deep.

“Good girl, you’re sucking me do good, trying to compensate for being a brat earlier? Why don’t you make us cum, “ Kiri taunts as katsuki begins to thrust harder and faster, fingers rubbing you clit. You moan around Eijiro’s cock.

“She is so fucking wet, taking us like a good slut,” katsuki says as his thrusts grow harder and faster.

“Fuck baby, you gonna cum? Cum all over my cock with Eijiro’s cock in your mouth. Cum like the good slut you are,” katsuki commands rubbing your clit harder. Your legs are shaking and your muffled moans fill the room.

“Swallow me pebble, I don’t want you to waste a fucking drop, got it,” you moan again, cumming around katsuki’s cock as kirishima fills your moth with cum.

“Fuck her pretty cunt is milking me dry,” katsuki groans, cumming deep in your pussy.

“Fuck pebble, that was so fucking hot. You were so good for us, good girl,” kirishima says pulling out of your mouth, katsuki carefully pulls out of your pussy, an arm under your stomach, forcing your ass to stay high in the air, exposing your pussy filled with cum and your butt plug.

“ so fucking good baby,”

Probably part 1

CRACKS KNUCKES ESKETIT

this again will probably be long so let’s tag it and add some warnings <33

katsuki bakugou x fem!reader, eijiro kirishima x fem!reader

warning(s): unprotected sex, light somnophilia, blowjobs, master/daddy kink, heavy degredation, pain play, using a paddle, restraints, cum play, ass play, humiliation, dacryphilia wew ok !!

author’s notes: i wrote this with red LED lights on hehe also sorry it took a while aa

can you imagine the surprise on katsuki’s face when he wakes up to the feeling of your tiny hand wrapped around his shaft, palming him for all his worth? boy is probably going to trip because A) its super fucking hot the way your thumb rubs over his leaking tip every once and a while, brushing between his slit in a way that has his eyes rolling and B) he hates when you get the one up on him, for bakugou, its all about having power and control over you, you’re supposed to be bakugou’s little bitch and even though his bitch in heat sucks his cock like a goddess, swallowing him deep just like he taught you, it makes him mad to his very core that you’d even try to dom him when he knows you’re just a pathetic subby bunny.

kirishima, i’d like to think, is a little less of a hard dom compared to katsuki for the most part. poor boy is almost embarrased at how he whimpers when he jumps awake and finds your lips wrapped sweetly around his red hot cock, he loves it when you look up at him from under the sheets, a drooly mess all for him. eiji wants you to slobber all over him, watch as a mix of drool and. precum. slides down your chin and drips between his balls and your hands, god your hands make him feel like he’s reached the gates of heaven-- but he’s upset with you, his little baby should know better than to try a stunt like this on her master while he’s asleep, so of course a punishment is in order.

the paddle is of course a purchase of katsuki’s, but it doesn’t mean eijirou doesnt like using it on you any less than the blonde. the way it makes your cute ass jiggle and the way it makes tears sting tracks down your cheeks is enough to rouse a boner out of tthe red head. and of course,  katsuki likes it when you’re all marked up and writhing in pain, its like some kind of high for him and gets him off just to see you as a blubbering mess.

they like to humiliate you when you pull stunts like this, calling you out for being such a cry baby in the way you jump and twitch at the simple press of thick digits against your clit. not to mention how you shamefully wail as eijirou eases the cute little butt. plug between your cheeks, you hate to admit how much you love it. a spit roasted slut is what you are, bounded as katsuki easily slides into your pussy, soaked from the punishment you so obediently endured.  he groans at how tight you are, how well you take him even when sore and in pain-- while kirishima gets a full view of the way your eyes roll into the back of your head as he sinks into your hot mouth, his own moan falling freely from his lips.

they fuck you until you’re a trembling, limp, leaking mess who doesn’t know whats up or whats down. your holes so eagerly swallow them up that it drives them insane, even as they paint you white inside and out. eijirou’s cum slips from the corner of your mouth but he forces it back in with slow and steady thrusts,  lifting your head by your hair to use the sight of your tears as material to get off. your spasmining orgasm is what trigger’s bakugou’s, his sharp thrusts easing into pathetic grinds as he breeds your pussy like he’s trying to knock you up-- thick seed liniing your womb.

[perelka-l]

Was it you who made that one fanart of Shisui with one of Danzō's golden eyes as if they had swapped it?? I still think about it to this day I think it was in your style but I'm not sure, I only know that it was The fanart that made me fall in love with the concept of DanShisu

Yeee, it was me!!!! It's here~ (I also did fic for it, mentioning just in caseee)

/ad break over

And yaaay I am so happy it converted you >w<)b It's so cool to hear though, even after *checks watch* wew almost two years since I did that. It's hella cool you wrote to me too, thank you~

[animatedarchives]

LIFELINE

— 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀

author’s note: so i had this dream a few days ago and i wrote this self-indulgent comfort fic. if you’ve experienced this before, i’m so sorry for the hurt you’ve been through and i’m here if you need to talk :) i hope you like it <3

genre: BiG aNgsT, comfort fluff wew

warnings: toxic relationship (mental abuse, manipulation, guilt tripping etc.), slightly coarse language

word count: 2.1k words

“Argh, I missed again!” you whined, the water gun gently hitting your thigh as you swung your arms down in defeat. You only had one last chance to knock all 5 metal cans over, and you knew you’d never make it. You sighed as you glanced at the life-sized teddy bear you’d been playing for, reluctantly giving up the idea of ever being able to hug its plushy form. Kenma watched you silently, gazing at you the same way you were looking at the bear: with intense longing.

“Here, let me,” he said gently, reaching for the water gun in your hand. His fingers briefly brushed yours and your breath hitched, turning away slightly so he couldn’t see the blush creeping onto your face. You had both been friends for the longest time, but you knew it was more than that. Although neither of you had explicitly confessed, there was a silent understanding that you both harboured feelings for one another, but were too shy to do anything about it.

You watched sheepishly as he brought the gun up against his shoulder, looking into the crosshairs. His eyes fixed themselves on his target, pupils narrowing into cat-like slits. You loved seeing the competitive side of Kenma. The resolve in his eyes, the fierce air of determination and the silent power he held was so different from his usual nonchalant self, you couldn’t help but be allured.

Finally, he pulled the trigger, releasing five precise spurts of water. You barely had time to process what happened as you heard the metal cans clattering to the ground. His muscles relaxed and he smiled with satisfaction, his usual laid-back self returning while you stood there in utter disbelief.

“Kenma, that was amazing!” you exclaimed, turning to face him. He watched as your eyes sparkled, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. It was a sight that warmed his heart, and something he missed so dearly. Reluctantly tearing his eyes from yours, he turned back to the stall owner to claim his prize.

“I’ll take the bear, please. The big one in the back,” he said, pointing to the one you wanted. You squealed in delight as Kenma retrieved the toy and handed it to you. Bursting with child-like joy, you pressed your face into its large squishy head as you hugged it, your body swinging from side to side. Kenma watched you amusedly, unable to wipe the smile off his face. He loved seeing you like this, the brightness you emanated rivaling that of the sun. Your genuine joy was one of the little things that truly made him happy, and it was blissful moments like this that he wished you could live in forever.

Beaming, you bowed at the stall owner to thank him, eager to explore the rest of the carnival. However, as you turned around, your eyes landed on someone in the distance and your heart seemed to stop. Gone was the excitement bouncing within you, now replaced with an unsettling heaviness. The light in your eyes was being sucked away, dissipating into nothingness. Sensing the air around you shift, Kenma looked at you concernedly, then followed your line of sight. And there stood the person he hated the most, the one who had caused you so much hurt and emotional turmoil for two years: your ex-boyfriend.

“Well well well, look who it is,” he smiled smugly as he sauntered towards you. His eyes flickered to Kenma, who stood behind you, and he laughed bitterly. “Moved on to another boy already? You always were such a slut,” he spat. Kenma tensed up behind you, clenching his jaw and balling his fists. He was never the type to be violent, but your ex’s disgusting remarks made him want to punch that sick smirk right off his face.

“P-please go away,” you whimpered. Your voice was strangled and your chest tightened as the overwhelming scent of your ex’s cursed cologne invaded your nose.

“Awww, but why? You wouldn’t want to break my heart again now, would you?” he pouted in mock sadness.

This was what you dealt with for two years: him taking advantage of your kind heart and twisting it for his own entertainment. He criticised every little thing that you did, from what you wore to who you hung out with. He convinced you that it was your fault you upset him, that it was you who failed to please. You began to question every decision you made, doubting your ability to make the “right ones” and eventually resorting to asking for his permission instead. He had you choking on a leash, but you were too nice, too forgiving, to acknowledge his manipulative ways. You were losing yourself and eventually became an empty shell of the cheerful girl you once were, no longer taking pleasure in the things you loved. It had been six full months since you came to your senses and broke up with him, trying so hard to regain the light you had lost, with Kenma encouraging you every step of the way. It had taken so much time and effort to recover from the toxic relationship. Yet at the mere sight of him returning into your life, everything came undone in an instant.

“What’s the matter, darling? Cat got your tongue?” he hummed. You opened your mouth to protest, but no words came out. You desperately tried to move, to do something to show he no longer held that power over you. But your mind was plagued, and your body remained frozen in the presence of your abuser.

“Oh darling, there’s no need to be scared,” he said, cocking his head to the side. He took a step forward and you couldn’t help but tremble in fear. Dark memories from the past you tried to bury resurfaced as his menacing gaze bore into you. You shrank back in terror and your back hit Kenma’s chest, causing your hold on the huge teddy bear to loosen. The impact pulled Kenma out of his heated thoughts, his eyes clearing to reveal the pointed daggers within them. He gently wrapped an arm around your waist and twisted your bodies so that he was between you and your attacker.

“That’s enough,” Kenma’s words cut through the toxic atmosphere. The change in his demeanour was subtle but terrifying. His voice remained quiet, but now held an edge that was sharper than a sword. His gaze pierced through your attacker, cutting him down to the bone.

Your ex scoffed, unintimidated by Kenma’s physical build. “No, she knows exactly what she did,” he hissed, looking straight into your eyes. “You love to toy with people don’t you darling? Go on, say it. Admit it, you bitch!”

You don’t recall the mistake you made; you only knew that you’d made one. A baseless sense of guilt consumed your mind, and all you could think of was how horrible of a person you were as you looked down at the ground in shame. The lack of words leaving your mouth angered him further. He took a step towards you, but stopped short as Kenma suddenly grabbed his forearm.

“I said,” his grip tightened as anger boiled inside of him.

“That’s enough.”

Kenma looked at him through the strands of hair that fell across his face. He was like a feline crouching behind the tall, dry grass, eyes fierce and unblinking as he stared down his prey. His unrelenting gaze made even your ex shudder, his mind going blank as Kenma seethed silently.

“Leave.”

Kenma’s voice was practically a growl at this point, the finality in his voice apparent. His golden orbs glowed like a predator’s, daring your ex to challenge him. Although no one said it, it was obvious Kenma owned the court and held the game in the palm of his hands.

Knowing he was beat, your ex yanked his arm out of Kenma’s iron grip and scoffed. “Whatever. You’re worthless, anyway,” he sneered at you before walking away. You didn’t know what you did, but you felt like you deserved it. That’s all you ever were anyway: just another piece of garbage.

With the threat no longer present, Kenma eased up and turned to you, significantly concerned for your mental and emotional wellbeing. “Are you alright?” he asked, unable to hide the urgency in his voice.

“I- I think so,” you stuttered. But you weren’t. You knew you weren’t. You were slipping again, back into your old submissive mindset as your head spun with your ex’s lies. And Kenma could see it, the thought of your incited self-hatred causing his knuckles to turn white.

“You deserve so much more than him, Y/N,” he said. You smiled weakly at his words but couldn’t bring yourself to agree.

“I don’t know… Maybe he’s right,” trying to keep your smile, only to fail miserably. “Maybe I really am worthless… Maybe I’m just an awful human being… Maybe…” you thought aloud, voice breaking as you started to believe his words. This experience took you back, remembering how your ex would constantly poison your conscience, leaving you to cry into your pillow every night as your thoughts consumed you alive.

“Y/N, stop,” he said, reaching for your arm. You flinched involuntarily, the action causing Kenma’s heart to break. “Y/N, look at me. Please,” he begged. You slowly lifted your head to meet his gaze, a thin film of moisture forming over your eyes as you slipped further into darkness.

“You are the kindest, sweetest soul I have ever met. You are beautiful and gorgeous, made perfectly as you are. You are the furthest thing from a bad person. He’s a liar, a manipulator and a toxic person overall. He’s the bad one. He’s the one that doesn’t deserve you,” he said, desperate for you to see reason.

You looked into his eyes sadly, searching for something to hold on to, to stop you from spiraling down deeper into your thoughts. And then you found it. Something that was different between him and your ex. Something that was always there but Kenma tried to hide. It was his unwavering love for you.

Something finally clicked and a spark was ignited between you two, causing your heart to beat faster. You could barely understand what was happening, too many things going on in your head at once. But one thing was certain. You knew the person in front of you was genuine.

Trustworthy.

Safe.

“Kenma… I…” your words lost their sound as your faces inched closer. Your eyes drifted down to his soft, thin lips. Your mind was screaming at you, saying that you didn’t deserve his affection and that you were completely unlovable. But your heart argued back, eager to prove them wrong as it reached out for the one it knew it could call home.

You watched earnestly, breath caught in your throat as his lips got closer and closer to your own. Finally, your eyes fluttered shut, your sight unneeded as you savoured the flavour of his sweet lips against yours. The bear you were holding was long forgotten as your fingers unfurled and dropped it to the floor. Your heart was now set on a new prize, your hands moving up his arms and clenching the fabric of his jacket underneath them.

Your reciprocation to his actions made him brave; he kissed you harder, more intensely, as he rested his palms firmly on the curve of your waist. It was an area tainted by the hands of your previous boyfriend, but Kenma’s touch was so pure, so gentle, and so loving, that all you could do was melt into his hold.

Your lips parted all too soon and he rested his forehead against yours, quietly gasping for air. The jarring voices in your head quietened and eventually disappeared as Kenma’s delicate fingers intertwined themselves with yours.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he chuckled, his warm breath adding to the heat on your cheeks. “I love you, Y/N. Every single piece of you. You are absolutely perfect in every way imaginable and I don’t ever want you to believe otherwise.”

You gave a genuine smile as you grasped onto the lifeline of hope Kenma was throwing out to you in the sea of darkness. You wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your face into his shoulder.

“Thank you. I love you too, Kenma.”

Your muffled whispers against his clothes put a gentle smile on his face, his heart soaring as you returned his affection. Kissing the side of your head, he embraced you tighter, wanting to show you how deeply you could be loved.

Breathing in his comforting scent, you came to a realisation.

It wasn’t the bear you longed to hug the most that day.

It was Kenma.

© written and published by animatedarchives 2020. please do not steal or repost. thank you.

[dragonofpandora]

(-Stories can teach well. Have you heard the story about the Smoke Spirit? -No, I don’t know it. -I’ll tell you the story.)

I wrote a short story for a contest the Kelutral server put on! The English version is definitely below my usual standards, partially because of time constraints (I did not allot my time well for this, hrh) and partially because of vocabulary constraints, and the Na’vi version is probably just riddled with grammatical errors, but I Made An Effort and I’m proud that I finished it at all!

Na’vi and English versions below the cut.

Na’vi: Kxener Tirea

Za'u fte heyn pxaw txep, ulte pìyeng oel ayngaru vurit Kxener Tireayä.

Kam txana krr, kelku soli 'ewana taronyu na'rìngmì. Lu po nawri tskofa sì tulyu awin, slä lu  poru hafyon ahì'i nì'aw. Kamä pxìm po peyä ayeylanhu nemfa na'rìng fte taron pxaya trr, ulte na pxìm txìng pol foti taluna lu fo kì'ong nìhawng. Fpìl pol futa lu po taronyu anawm, slä peyä olo'ä hoaktul poti nìn ulte natxu poti.

Poleng poru fol san nari si. Hawl fya'oti ngeyä srekrr tsa'uìlä 'ärìp. Rä'ä tul hrrapnemfa, tengkrr mong tìtxurit sì tìnawriti ngeyä, txo fkiveytok fya'o akxuke nì'ul. Ulte furia lu txep ngeyä wew 'efu am'ake srekrr txìng ngal tsat fte taron, fteke oeyk ngal tìska'ati sìk.

'ewana taronyu ke tolìng mikyun. Mowarìri hoaktuyä peyä hangham po krra ke tsun stivawm fo poti, ulte syaw foru ayfnawe'tu a meyp sì kì'ong nìhawng kuma ke tsun tivaron na po. Futa ke nayekx na'rìngìl poti taluna lu po nawm fìtxan kuma käpivin skiva'a fte tsakem si pol peyä ayeylanur poleng. Ulte ralori lolu po eyawr – ke nekx poti na'rìngìl.

Krrka sätaron, tengkrr yerom pol wutsoti, 'ewana taronyul smarit a 'erärìp na'rìngmì stolawm. Pxìswaway, spolä po fte fewi tsat. Txewro 'awmä peyä, hìpey po, ulte nìn peyä txepit a palon mi. Peng pol snoru futa lìsyu po win fìtxan kuma tìsyätxaw smarhu srekrr 'uo afe' tsun liven. Am'ake, tolul po fte sutx ioangit.

Poti smarìl oleyk na'rìngnemfa, ulte pol txepit ye'rìn tswa' nìwotx. Vaykrr 'eraku swizawit peyä pa'ota yerìkä pol ke tseri kxenerit. Uo po, tepviti hufwel stìmä'ni – ulte verirä nìwin txep.

Hifwo ayioang, ulte nìteng hifwo 'ewana taronyu.

Tìfpxamol txe'lanit peyä fpeykap. Slu ewll layon popxaw, ulte ayioang zawng tengkrr tsayu txepeo zup. Tawit vawm sleyku kxenerìl, ulte yaru txepìva teya si vaykrr po ke tsun syeha sivi. Tìtxurit sì tìnawriti peyä ke tsun sleyku nìtam win poti kuma po fì'uftu tsun hivifwo. Mesopìru peyä tìsom teya si, ulte nì'i'a nekx txepìl poti tengkrr na'rìng popxaw terkup.

Tengkrr terkup po, 'änsyema tireafa peyä 'efu 'ewana taronyu tìsraw sì tìngusä'än a amoeyk pol. 'efu po ayewll sì ayioang apusalon, sì lopx olo'ä peyä tengkrr tul fo txepftu. Omum pol futa tìkelul tìkusllfro'ä peyä tìterkupit sì tìska'ati munge kelkune peyä. Eywafa 'efu po tìsraw na'ringä, ulte po tsngawvìk.

Ulte tsakrr Eywa 'olìp, ulte na'rìng 'olìp, ulte 'ewana taronyu lolu le'awtu nìwotx.

Po nawma sä'nokur syaw, slä ke fkeytok kea tì'eyng. Tìska'al txepä poti 'olaku nìt'iluke Eywa'evengftu. Kawkrr ke 'efu po le'awtu fìtxan, luke sätare hu rusey alahe. Samop po kxamlä kifkey, fte fmi rivun fya'oti a eyk Eywane, lu tirea luke tokx.

Vurìl plltxe futa mi serop po fìtrr. Lam fwa lu poru tokx a ta kxener, tafral syaw fko poru Kxener Tirea. Txo tse'a ngal poti, nari si – taluna tsenga po srer, txepìl nìyong. Suteol plltxe futa srer po fte pllhrr Na'viti tsa'uteri; sutel alahe plltxe futa munge nìyey tsa'ut pol pohu krra po sop. Kawkrr awngal tìngayti ke omum, taluna ke tsun pivlltxe po, ulte holan keng tsasätareti afyin. Nì'aw tsun ivomum awnga futa ayngal sweylu txo ziverok sänumviti a keyeyìl peyä kar, fteke layu ayngaru tenga syay afpxamo.

English: The Smoke Spirit

Come sit around the fire, and I will tell you the tale of the Smoke Spirit.

Long ago, there lived a young hunter in the forest. He was skilled with a bow, and a fast runner, but had only a little wisdom. He would often go into the woods with his friends to hunt for many days, and just as often would impatiently leave them behind because they were too slow. He thought he was a great hunter, but the elders of his clan looked at him and disapproved.

“Be careful,” they told him. “Prepare your path before following it. Do not rush into danger, trusting your strength and talent for protection, if there is a safer way. And be certain your campfire is cold before you leave it to hunt, lest you cause destruction.”

The young hunter did not listen. He laughed at his elders' advice when they could not hear, and called them cowards too weak and slow to hunt the forest like him. The forest would not take him, he bragged to his friends, for he was so great it would have to destroy itself to do so. And, in a way, he was right – the forest did not take him.

During one hunt, while he was eating supper, the young hunter heard prey moving in the forest. Immediately, he leaped to chase it. At the edge of his camp, he hesitated, looking back at his still-burning fire. He told himself he would be so fast that he would return with his prey before something bad could happen. Confident, he ran to chase the animal.

The prey led him into the forest, and he soon forgot his fire entirely. He did not notice the smoke until he was removing his arrow from the yerìk's side. Behind him, sparks had been caught by the wind – and the fire was spreading fast.

The animals fled, and so did the young hunter.

Terror made his heart pound. The plants blackened around him, and animals screamed as they fell before the fire. The sky grew dark with smoke, ash filling the air until he couldn't breathe. His strength and talent could not make him fast enough to escape this. Heat filled his lungs, and at last the fire consumed him as the forest died around him.

As he died, the young hunter felt the pain and suffering he had caused in his entire spirit. He felt plants and animals burning, and the panic of his clan as they ran from the fire. He knew that his irresponsibility had brought death and destruction to his home. Through Eywa, he felt the forest's pain, and he wept.

And then Eywa vanished, and the forest vanished, and the young hunter was utterly alone.

He cried out for his Great Mother, but there was no answer. The destruction of the fire had taken him away from Eywa'eveng forever. He had never felt so alone, with no connection to another living thing. He traveled the world, trying to find a way back to Eywa, a spirit without a body.

The story says he still travels today. He appears to be made of smoke, so he is called the Smoke Spirit. Should you see him, be careful – where he appears, fire will soon follow. Some say he appears to warn the People of it; others say he simply brings it with him when he travels.We will never know the truth, for he cannot speak, and has lost even that simple connection. We can only know you should  remember the lesson his mistakes teach, lest you share his horrible fate.

[another-miracle]

I was tagged by @ruleofexception​, thank you! ❤

AO3 name: another-miracle

Fandom(s): Akagami no Shirayukihime, Fruits Basket, Akatsuki no Yona, (*whispers*homestuck)

Number of fics: 

On AO3 - 23 

On Tumblr - ....120... (i’m a big one shot writer okay)

1. Fic you spent the most time on: intermission - *sigh* Ok, maybe it’s not the fic I’ve spent the most TIME on, but it’s the one that had the most teething problems. The thing about 50 prompts fics is that you are essentially coming up with 50 different narratives, but summarizing them in a single sentence. It was a good character analysis practice though :) It’s something I like to do when I enter a fandom to get a feel of how to write the characters :)

2. Fic you spent the least time on: wow this is hard hm... I write a lot of my fics in spurts and when im !emotional! haha but at the forefront of my mind, it would be the 3rd chapter of An Economy of Suffering. I remembered having so many feels about the fic that I just had to puke all of them into words. And I didn’t expect it to get as much traction as it did haha but it’s mostly thanks to my amazing co-authors haha (I DIDN’T KNOW YOU GUYS WERE (are) LIKE FANDOM ROYALTY AT THE TIME HAHAHA)

3. Longest fic: chasing after anthesis I don’t write a lot of long fics (I don’t have the patience or the tenacity), but this is my longest at 5,144 haha :)

4. Shortest fic: Day 3 of Kyoruweek2019 - Selfish, at 94 words wew

5. Most hits: Breathe (Hakyona), 2263

6. Most kudos:

On AO3 - also Breathe (Hakyona) with 181

On Tumblr - i will draw the sky for you (miraculous ladybug) with 221 notes

7. Most comment threads: haha An Economy of Suffering mostly due to Jen and Joanna being interactive authors (unlike me oops)

8. Fave fic you wrote: between redemption and living (kyoru) - I was so glad the anime rebooted and I was so happy to re-enter the fandom and this fic was a love letter to Natsuki Takaya for sure (: I’m really glad at the amount of traction it’s getting too!

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: hm first one that comes to mind is fifth - since it is kind of an expansion of the 5 best moments of Obi’s life in Lyrias haha but I haven’t gotten around to starting anything yet

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: nothing at the moment.. I had a story idea floating around but I forgot to write it down so I guess it’s lost forever :’)

Idk who to tag tbh... whoever wants to do go ahead! :)

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Essay: The Broadcast History of Strange Paradise on WKBF-TV (Cleveland, OH)

WARNING: This essay contains spoilers for several episodes of Strange Paradise, the latest being Episode 94. If you do not wish to be spoiled, disable images and reload.

When Krantz Films’ now-obscure Gothic soap Strange Paradise premiered in the United States in September 1969, the company’s president Steve Krantz expected it to be a hit much like the similar, wildly popular serial Dark Shadows. “You thought every possible idea for a daytime drama had already been used?” one copywriter wrote in a trade magazine. “How about Colin Fox playing the dual role of a millionaire industrialist and his 300-years-dead ancestor, in a show set in the Caribbean, involving voodoo? Don’t laugh. Wait until you see the ratings.” Despite this initial optimism, Strange Paradise’s ratings failed to live up to anyone’s expectations, leading to an early cancellation in most American markets. The Cleveland, Ohio station WKBF-TV (Channel 61), an ultra-high frequency (UHF) channel owned by Kaiser Broadcasting, was no exception. The broadcast history of Strange Paradise in Cleveland provides a typical example of the quick decline and premature cancellation that the show saw on most networks that carried it in the United States.

In this essay, we will use the Cleveland newspaper The Plain Dealer to trace the short broadcast history of Strange Paradise on WKBF-TV from its beginnings in the 7 p.m. prime-time slot to its cancellation. After that, we will examine an anecdotal account of a second run of the show’s first arc in 1971 and determine whether the series aired again in Cleveland during that year.

Strange Paradise in The Plain Dealer

Banner advertisements for Strange Paradise from the Friday, September 12, 1969 issue of The Plain Dealer (pp. 107, 110, and 118, respectively).[1]

In the lead-up to its premiere on Monday, September 15, 1969, Kaiser Broadcasting promoted Strange Paradise heavily in the Friday, September 12 issue of The Plain Dealer. Banners appeared at the bottom of the television schedule’s pages, referencing the show’s voodoo theme and encouraging the newspaper’s readers to “meet Quito and Raxl,” two of the show’s major characters. The Selections section of The Plain Dealer’s Friday TV guides ran episode summaries to entice viewers to tune in. The show aired in the 7 pm timeslot, pitting it against Gilligan’s Island, Truth or Consequences, and other popular programs.

Excerpt from the TV schedule for Monday, September 15, 1969, from The Plain Dealer (September 12, 1969), p. 110. In this listing and all subsequent others, the listings for WKBF/Kaiser/Channel 61 appear in the far right column.

Summary of the pilot episode from the same issue, p. 117. The timeslot is listed inaccurately as 7:30 pm.

In theory, Strange Paradise’s original timeslot put it in a position to get good ratings. Bryan Gruszka writes that “initially, the series enjoyed strong ratings,“ but this seems unlikely to be the case in Cleveland. As a UHF channel, many televisions (particularly older sets) did not pick up reception from Kaiser, leaving the viewership low for all of its programs compared to the very-high frequency (VHF) “Big Three” networks of NBC (Channel 3/WKYC), ABC (Channel 5/WEWS), and CBS (Channel 8/WJW).[2] Every one of the Top 30 highest-rated programs of the 1969-1970 season aired on the Big Three television networks, further suggesting a low viewership for WKBF and other UHF channels. Disappointed by the show’s ratings, Kaiser moved it to daytime and scheduled Star Trek reruns in its place, which attracted far more prime-time viewers.[3]

3 pm listings from the TV schedule for September 29, 1969, from The Plain Dealer (September 29, 1969), p. 39.

Episode 11 summary from the same page.

Strange Paradise made the move to daytime television by Monday, September 29, when WKBF rescheduled it at 3 pm. In this new timeslot, it competed against two other soap operas, Another World (NBC) and General Hospital (ABC), which attracted 9.6 million and 8.5 million viewers, respectively, during the 1969-1970 season. Ratings for Strange Paradise do not appear on the list of soap opera ratings for this season, although it aired on the Big Three networks in some other markets. Because of this, it is impossible to know exactly how it fared against its competitors, but it most likely attracted few viewers.

During this period, episode summaries continued to run on the Selections pages of the weekly TV guides released on Fridays. Many of these are identical or nearly identical to the “Lost Episode” summaries from the Newport Daily News and The Fitchburg Sentinel documented on Curt Ladnier’s blog Maljardin: Tales from the Desmond Family Crypt. These summaries described early drafts of the episodes before the show’s producers mandated major rewrites, meaning that the events described in the listings did not correspond to the plots of the broadcasted episodes. Notable changes included the death of one character whom the summaries indicated originally remained alive, the omission of a flashback nightmare sequence about another character’s previous incarnation, and the focus of the main plotline shifting to the discovery of a mysterious black rabbit with a bloodied locket around its neck (which the summaries do not mention). The “Lost Episode” summaries continued through Episode 50, after which the published descriptions once again accurately reflected the episodes’ contents.

Summary of the original Episode 36, from “Monday Selections,” The Plain Dealer (October 31, 1969), p. 121. The description nearly matches this “Lost Episode” summary on Ladnier’s blog.

The original Episode 37 ("Tuesday Selections,” p. 125). The description is similar to the one discussed in this post, save that this version indicates that Holly is unaware of the Temple’s purpose.

Episode 46 (”Monday Selections,” The Plain Dealer (November 14, 1969), p. 84).

Episode 50 (”Friday Selections,” The Plain Dealer (November 21,1969), p. 76).

In early December, the series disappeared from Channel 61′s schedule, most likely because it struggled to compete against General Hospital and Another World for viewers. The show is absent from the "Television Today" guides as early as Tuesday, December 2, although summaries for that week's episodes appeared in the weekly guide from the previous Friday's issue and the other schedules from the same week still listed it in its 3 p.m. timeslot. The paper for Tuesday, December 9 included a summary corresponding to the plot of Episode 62, despite Strange Paradise’s replacement with The Huckleberry Hound Show. By the release of the Friday, December 12 paper, the show no longer appeared in neither the TV schedules nor the selections, indicating its cancellation.

Episode 62 summary from “Tuesday’s Selections,” The Plain Dealer (December 9, 1969), p. 30.

The revised schedule for 3 pm, according to the schedule on the same page. Note “Huck Hound” in the far right column.

After a month of absence, Strange Paradise returned to the channel on Monday, December 29 in the new timeslot of 11 pm. Airing resumed with Episode 56, which may indicate that Episode 55 was the last to air the previous year. Over the course of the next two months, WKBF broadcast the conclusion of Maljardin, the series’ first 65-episode arc, and began showing the second arc, the overtly Dark Shadows-inspired Desmond Hall.

However, the show’s viewers would not get to watch Desmond Hall through to its conclusion. On February 10, 1970, television columnist William Hickey wrote, “’Strange Paradise,’ the strangely bubbling soaper, will disappear from Channel 61 tomorrow night at 11 and will be replaced by reruns of ‘Alfred Hitchcock Presents.’”[4] This cancellation coincided with the introduction of the character Agatha Pruitt and the beginning of a new subplot centered around her blackmail and attempted seduction of protagonist Jean Paul Desmond, leaving that plot unresolved, not to mention the second arc’s overarching plot about the mysterious disappearance of Jean Paul’s brother Philip.

Summary of Episode 87, the last episode confirmed to have aired on WKBF, from “Tuesday’s Selections,” The Plain Dealer (February 6, 1970), p. 95.

Nevertheless, episode summaries of Strange Paradise continued to run in the highlights sections of the paper’s TV guides over the next week. The last episode summary to appear in The Plain Dealer describes the plot of Episode 94 and is noticeably more detailed than most previous summaries:

Summary of Episode 94, originally scheduled to air on Thursday, February 19, 1970. From “Thursday’s Selections,” The Plain Dealer (February 13, 1970), p. 103.

Strange Paradise’s run on WKBF ended abruptly in the middle of the second arc, leaving all of its plots unresolved and many viewers uncertain of the fates of Jean Paul, Agatha, Raxl, and others. WKBF-TV would disappear from the airwaves in 1975, leaving Cleveland-area fans unable to watch the series again until its release on VHS in the 1990s. That is unless an anecdote about its first arc re-airing in the Cleveland area is true.

A Second Run?

After Strange Paradise finished its original run in May 1970, a handful of stations available in the United States, including Canadian and Mexican stations based near the borders, rebroadcast it in syndication. It is possible that WKBF may have also rebroadcast it, but we have only anecdotal evidence. In a 2007 post on the Strangeparadise2 Yahoo! Group, user Larry M. (larmic1) claimed to have watched syndicated re-runs of the series’ first arc in 1971. He wrote,

I was living in Cleveland, Ohio [in 1971], and the "new" show came on about 7 or 7:30pm weeknights, so that leads me to believe it was syndicated. I believe that time is also when I used to watch Strange Paradise, so the station was obviously after that audience. It was just such a surprise when I finally came across the show after coming home from winter break from college, and totally pissed that I pretty much had missed the whole series! It was probably on for all of 3-4 months total. Seems like nobody else watched it either!

If the show did indeed air again in Cleveland in 1971, no evidence exists of its rebroadcast in The Plain Dealer’s listings. Here is an excerpt from the evening schedule for Wednesday, January 6, 1971:

And here is another from Tuesday, December 28 of the same year:

Although the schedule writers abbreviated the names of most shows, one can still tell in most cases what shows they refer to: “Jeannie” must be I Dream of Jeannie, “Hogan” Hogan’s Heroes, etc. (It helps that many of these shows are still well-known today, largely because of re-runs on various networks.) Given that neither Strange Paradise, any abbreviations of its title, nor anything to the effect of “Island of Evil” appear in these listings, one can safely conclude that no Cleveland-based stations re-ran the show during that period.

Even so, evidence exists that residents of northeast Ohio could tune into broadcasts from the Windsor, Ontario-based Canadian station CKLW-TV in the early 1970s. Federal Communications Commission (FCC) records from the 1970s indicate that CKLW-TV, based near the Ontario-Michigan border, was available in the Cleveland-Lorain-Akron market on Channel 9 in 1972 and possibly earlier as well. Larry M. most likely would have viewed Strange Paradise on this Canadian channel in 1971. However, even this is doubtful, because, thus far, we have been unable to uncover any evidence of its re-airing in 1971 on CKLW or any other Ontario channels.

Conclusion

For five months from September 1969 to February 1970, the Gothic serial Strange Paradise aired on WKBF-TV (Channel 61) in the Cleveland area. Premiering at 7 p.m. on September 15 after heavy promotion, it changed time slots twice--first in the same daytime slot as two more popular soaps and then in the late night--before its cancellation on February 11. Part of the show was allegedly re-broadcast the following year, but thusfar no evidence exists of listings of Strange Paradise on any channels based in the Great Lakes region in 1971. Although it quickly fell into obscurity in northeast Ohio, Larry M.’s post is evidence that it had local fans and that, even long after its cancellation, it was not forgotten.

Notes

[1] All clippings from The Plain Dealer come from the NewsBank InfoWeb database Historical Cleveland Plain Dealer (1845-1991). They are all reproduced under fair use for the purpose of education.

[2] Many people alive in this era, the author’s parents (born 1964) included, insist that “there were only three channels” in Cleveland in the late 1960s and early 1970s. This attests to the obscurity of Channel 61.

[3] According to Wikipedia, “the most popular and most profitable program on WKBF were syndicated reruns of the original Star Trek. It was well known that WKBF had rebroadcast the entire 79-episode original series in the exact order of play that had been originally shown on NBC when it aired on that network, and had also paid out of its own pocket for the special high-contrast black-and-white prints of the show in order to do so. In another bold move for the times, the show also ran in its original length, without additional editing for commercials.”

[4] William Hickey, "Tony Winners Promise a CBS Drama Delight," The Plain Dealer (February 10, 1970), p. 20 (6-B).

[snicketstrange]

The dynamics of duble agents in VFD deduction

This is one more text to understand the basis of the text I call "A Brief History of VFD hypothesis"

VFD is a secret organization, and like most secret organizations, it has levels. As the person becomes more reliable, or reaches a certain age, the person advances at the levels of the organization. This is demonstrated by Jacques Snicket's letter to his brother. (Considering LSTUA does not present fruadulent documents). Jacques Snicket wrote: LSTUA chapter 6: "Under normal circumstances, new volunteers like ourselves would not receive disguise training until our years of apprenticeship wew finished, but we have not been under normal circumstances for quite some time." By this time Lemony was about to marry Beatrice, so he was no longer a child. By this time Lemony had already written a review of Olaf's play. Lemony had gone through all the theoretical training in VFD, and now we know that he had even gone to SBTS. Still, Jacques referred to himself and Lemony as new members, still in their apprenticeship years. Lemony received from his brother the disguises and instructions on how to use them. This seems to indicate that only trusted VFD members relay such information and equipment after many, many years of learning and observation. In fact, in File Under 13, we realize that there are secret evaluations of the performance of new members of the organization. This shows something interesting about Olaf: He had equipment and training in the disguise kit. Apparently, Olaf reached the level of trusted member in VFD, and completed the apprenticeship with praise. This is strange in many ways. From Olaf's description of TBL, apparently Olaf was from the same class as Lemony. If even Jacques, who was older, still considered himself to be in his apprenticeship years, it seems unlikely that Olaf would have become a trusted member of VFD anytime soon. Moreover, Olaf's attitude as described in TBL was very unpleasant from Lemony's point of view. Finally, Olaf's Schism showed that Olaf's attitude was more than an unfounded distrust of Lemony. In other words, I seriously suspect that inside fire extinguishing side of VFD there were undercover agents on the incendiary side. These undercover agents would have facilitated Olaf's assertion by VFD confidence levels. This suspicion is not just mine. In fact, LSTUA chapter 3 indicates that some members of VFD also suspected this. On page 45 we find the following sentence: "There is only one explanation for our secret location has been discovered, over and over again: a member of VFD - perhaps even someone in this very room - has betrayed us." This conclusion helps us understand other aspects involving the Daily Punctilio. You may recall that Lemony, Jacques, R and many other VFD members worked at the Daily Punctilio. In addition, while Lemony worked at the Daily Punctilio, he sent important messages to VFD members through the pages of the newspaper. We see this in Jacques's letter to Lemony on page 96 of LSTUA: "It will no longer be possible for you to communicate with us through The Daily Punctilio." In addition, while Jacques Snicket worked at The Daily Punctilio, he reported that the Royal Garden fires were criminals, and even reported the AA fire related events. Also, for VFD it was important to keep the Daily Punctilio articles, according to K's letter to the cheesemakers. So apparently for a long time the Daily Punctilio was a fire-fighting sidekick of VFD. But all that changed at the time of the Olaf Schism. The Daily Punctilio editor-in-chief showed her true colors, dismissing Lemony, and showing full support to Olaf. This seems to me to be coordinated action. At the same time, Olaf allied himself with the bearded but hairless man, as the report on page 131 in chapter 11 indicates. As the following report indicates, on page 118, police detectives helped conceal a murder. It all happened in a short time, according K's letter to Dear Deary in LSTUA. All of these seem to be evidence of an old plan being put in place, something involving infiltration of dormant agents into VFD. This deduction works to clarify some details. First, we come to understand when the VFD recognition code came to work. The code in which someone says, "I didn't realize it was a sad occasion," whose answer is "The world is quiet here," was created after Olaf's Schism. (ATWQ shows that there were no recognition codes in VFD at the time of the events narrated in ATWQ. Lemony explained that VFD members at that time needed to recognize each other through their attitudes. And there is a report in File under 13 in that a VFD member thinks he met another VFD member and he needs to ask "are you part of a secret organization?" because there were no recognition codes at the time of ATWQ. Quigley at TSS showed that this code was not just for waiters when he tried to use the same code with the Baudelaire siblings in the cave.) This code had to be explained to Lemony in Jacques's letter to Lemony when Lemony was already an adult. Jacques Snicket was instructed to teach this code to trusted members only after the Olaf Schism. Thus, people who have clearly supported Olaf's Schism do not know this code. And that is clear from LSTUA in chapter 8 on pages 134-137. Eleanora Poe does not know the VFD recognition code. Despite this, the waiter insistently says "I didn't realize it was a sad occasion". The Waiter is saying this because he thought Eleonora was a member of VFD. However, the waiter did not know that Eleonora had supported Olaf during the Olaf Schism. Another illuminating detail is the reason for Lemony's doubt about Hal's loyalty. Lemony said in THH chapter 4 that he spent investigating Hal for several months to make sure Hal was not a spy. Apparently Hal was a member of VFD, as almost all librarians are members of VFD. Lemony's investigation time may have been several months before the events in TPP. When Hal proved trustworthy, not an arson supporter, Hal was summoned by Dewey's friend to take part in the fragmented plan at Hotel D. Only then did Hal receive the information regarding the recognition code. Hal tried to use the code at the hotel. But Hal had a special mission in the fragmented plane. Hal needed to earn the trust of Olaf and Esme. Hal apparently had to bring false information to Olaf and Esme in order for Olaf to believe in the arrival of the sugar bowl through the crows, and to believe that the laundry room was where the sugar bowl would fall. Hal then became a fake double agent. In front of Olaf and Esme Olaf, Hal pretended to be someone who was supporting the incendiary side, but in fact he was supporting Lemony and JS's secret plan. Interestingly, Hal apparently met JS personally, which may be evidence that JS was the mysterious supporter of Dewey But the deductions don't stop here. When you understand the dynamics of sleeping double agents, you can think better of what probably happened between the managers of the Hotel D. Ernest and Frank are admittedly members of opposite sides of the Schism. The fire-extinguishing side knows that Ernest is on the incendiary side. But nothing indicates that the incendiary side knows that the fire-extinguishing side knows this. Moreover, during the many years Hotel D was in operation, Ernest did not act against his brothers. Understanding the dynamics of sleeping double agents, we have a couple of possibilities: 1) Ernest didn't act against his brothers because it would ruin the disguise he believed was still working. 2) The fire-extinguishing side (or Lemony and his supporters) discovered that Ernest was a sleeping double agent, and instead of spreading it to the winds, took advantage of this to allow Ernest to send false information to the incendiary side. 3) The fact that Ernest, Dewey, and Frankl looked the same would allow Dewey or Frank himself to impersonate Ernest and infiltrate the incendiary side. And of course there is a possibility, though remote, that Ernest had turned heartily to the fire extinguisher side, and was helping his brothers all the time by pretending to be on the incendiary side. But in any case, I want to show in this text that in the main story of ASOUE and LSTUA there is strong evidence that the dual agent dynamic was underway. Of course, in TBL there is also an indication of this in the letter LS to BB # 5. The Sebald Code Question: "Are you certain your Co-star is one of us?" It is evidence that there were members of VFD that Lemony suspected were not "one of us." But now think: If Ernest was infiltrated with VFD when he was still a child, were there no other children on the incendiary side infiltrated with VFD? Such children should gain the trust of other members, but actually be agents of evil. And you can watch the movie "Salt" with Angelina Jolie to understand more about sleeping agents.

[impulseislost]

Heart made of glass, My mind of stone

uh... yes ok so i wrote this but switched genres and themes halfway through so wew.

Length: 3000+ words

Warnings: some screaming, uh felix yeets himself away from his problems

Relationships: a minor relationship within the danceline (sorry), chan and Felix are brothers

think thats it

Soft ticks echoed in his ears, combining with the clicks of his tools in the clockwork he was working on. The toy had stopped working sometime in the early morning and the lack of its presence set him on edge.

It was late now, sometime between the witching hour and break of dawn. And if anyone saw him up now, they'd have his head. He knees that they all thought he should rest.

But if he rested, he'd miss the mouse.

He paused, setting the toy and tools down to stretch. A quiet sigh escaped his lips as he leant back, looking at the clockwork spread over the white cloth. Soft ticking around him as another clockwork creature jumped onto the table, keeping clear of the white cloth.

The cat's gear ticked softly, kept safe from wandering hands by a delicate metal chassis. It had been his first creation, his favourite really. The boy loved all his creations but the cat was his favourite.

Minho had named it Sooniewhen he'd asked for a name and littered him with praises. Like he needed them.

He smiled, raising a hand to stroke the cat's head.

"I'll fix your buddy soon." He promised gently, sitting forward to pick up his tools again. His voice was quiet, slightly hoarse and scratchy from disuse. The cat lay down, resting its head on its paws.

The soft ticking and quiet clicking filled the room again as he started to reconstruct the mouse. His fingers started with the legs, clicking gears together and beginning to take shape.

He smiled as he did, the sound of the gears coming together make him smile. Clockwork was where he felt safe. He smiled numbly at the thought. It was odd to say that he felt safest with cogs, gears and moving parts. He knew for sure that's not how the other's felt.

They weren't as comfortable as him around Soonie and his creations.

Weren't always comfortable around him.

As he worked, more and more of his creations joined him; Doongie, Dori, the squirrel he'd made for Jisung. All of them. They settled around him, watching him. He barely noticed.

The soft ticking got louder, more disjointed the more clockwork there was in the room.

tick,

tick,

tick,

"Felix?"

Felix looked up, fingers holding the last gear millimetres above the mouse's nearly finished body to stare in surprise. It was dark, save for where he was working. The desk light on the table made it hard for him to see who was in the doorway opposite him.

"Felix, Love, it's 3 AM. What could you possibly be doing at this hour?" He blinked, glancing down to push the gear into place with a slight frown. He didn't respond for a moment until a cleared throat prompted him to.

"...well, not sleeping, obviously." There was a sigh before someone sat on the opposite side of the table. One of the clockwork cats, Dori, jumped up to saunter over and onto the other man's shoulders.

From the angle he now sat, Felix could tell who it was from the way the light now bounced off his face. Minho stared back at him, something pooling in his eyes that Felix couldn't understand. He avoided the elder's eyes, picking up a piece of the chassis and gently placing the mouse's interior clockwork into it.

"...What's keeping you up?" Felix didn't answer, instead spinning one of the gears in the Mouse's body gently to get it started up. A moment passed before it started moving properly. Felix smiled, placing the last piece of the chassis and clicking it into space carefully.

Minho reached over to touch his arm, bringing his attention back to the man in question, "You ever going to answer me?" He asked quietly, removing his hand to let Felix place the mouse down.

He shook his head, setting the mouse down in its upright position and holding his breath. Minho sighed, leaning back in his chair and watching the boy again. The mouse twitched, then skittered to a different part of the table, the tick of its gears joining the rest.

A pause followed.

"How did you know I was awake?" Minho glanced up to where Felix was packing up his tools carefully before he shrugged.

"Your clockwork creatures tend to flock around you when you're working. The rest of the apartment was too quiet." Another pause then, "Jisung tells me you've been avoiding him. Mind telling me why?"

Felix froze. A moment passed then another before he jerked his head up to stare at Minho. A moment passed before a small, unnatural, squeak passed his lips. The elder frowned, reaching over to run a hand gently over the decorated metal of Dori's Chassis.

"Is it to do with our last mission? Felix swallowed, breath shakey as he looked away. Memories of the day in question filled his mind and he---

Broken gears, not being able to move. Jisung's body on the ground nearby. Wounds in the shape of his hands. Of his gears.

Blood on his gears. Not being able to move, someone else in control. Woojin and Changbin literally holding him down.

He couldn't say anything, he couldn't do anything. A scream of anger escaped his lips, scratchy. Gears had broken in there as well. It wasn't him.

He wanted them to know. It wasn't him.

Whispers filled the air around him. Someone was hovering over Jisung. Hyunjin?

A sharp tug in his leg. The feeling of his gears breaking again. He screamed, this time pain-filled as his leg was forcibly removed.

"Minho!" Someone called out. Soft hands at his forehead, a whispered apology as those same hands ran through his hair. The feeling of the gears in his other le breaking. His body being taken apart by rough hands. Tears that weren't in his control leaking out his eyes.

Minho's apology as someone in his field of view, Chris, started on his arms. Minho's apology as His arms were taken from him. Until he was just lying there with his head in Minho's lap. With his lover's hands running through his hair, whispering apologies until he blacked out.

He gasped sharply, pushing himself away from the table with a sharp noise. The sharp noise of metal claws echoed landing on wooden floors as Soonie jumped from the table. Felix's fingers shook as he took a step back.

"I... I can't. I hurt him. I don't..." He gasped out fingers digging into his thighs, to where the gears that ran throughout his body turned just below the skin. The gears that kept him alive, just like his beloved clockwork creations.

Except he wasn't his own clockwork creation, he held no love for these gears. Not even Chris, his creator held love for these gears. He couldn't after what had happened.

Minho stood up, holding his hands up as he maneuvered around the table. Felix took another step back from him before he paused.

"It wasn't your fault Love. None of us knew they were going to have someone who could do that to you. No one knew there was a ferrokinetic on their side." He soothed gently, before opening his arms to Felix, "Don't shut us out over something you can't control Baby. Please."

Felix hesitated, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Still, it would've been his blood on my hands if he had died. You don't understand what it was like hyung. I knew what I was doing, I was conscious while fuck knows who had me. I was conscious and I couldn't do anything. He was screaming at me to stop hyung."

A sob escaped his lips, as Felix finally allowed himself to cry. As he sunk to the floor.

"I couldn't live with myself if he had died." Minho dropped to the floor, maneuvering himself over and wrapping his arms around the clockwork boy. He relaxed into Minho's arms, tears soaking into his shirt as soft fingers moved to run through his hair.

"But he didn't. He's alive, he's still with us. Hyunjin fixed him up, Baby." Minho whispered to the crying boy in his arms. His fingers kept brushing through the blonde strands of hair, even as he leant down to kiss the boy's head.

"I can't lose any more of my humanity hyung. I don't ha- Don't have enough to begin with."

Soft ticks echoed through the room as Soonie padded over, nestling its head into Minho's laps. The clockwork animals had always been perceptive of Felix's emotions.

Minho kissed his head again before he replied. "And you won't a baby. Hyung won't let you. Hyung knows how hard this is for you."

More sobs echoed through the air.

"It's not fair. I'm not going to get to grow old wi- with any of you. I'm stuck like this. I.. I..." Minho tilted Felix's head up.

"Listen to me. Even if you don't change, nothing changes between us alright. Even if I'm old and crippled, I promise I'll still love you. We'll still love you."

Clockwork ticked around their house, Felix's creations intertwining themselves through people's legs and tripping people up. Felix himself stood at the balcony, gazing over the flying city with a frown.

There was clockwork in this city's veins, just like there was clockwork in his. Engineers worked day and night to keep the clockwork in the city running. The city was a technological marvel in this age. And that was even compared to Venice.

Felix smiled grimly at the thought, resting his arms on the railing and looking over the sky. Wind rustled through his hair, the sound joining the soft ticking of his clockwork.

Years ago, back when he hadn't been clockwork, Felix had wondered how the pretty clockwork dolls he'd seen through shop windows felt. Were they alive? Did they breathe?

He knew better now.

Felix was avoiding his lovers and as much as he knew it was futile, he didn't want to see them still. His break down in Minho's arms rang fresh in his mind. Clockwork didn't feel. Clockwork wasn't meant to have emotions. He was meant to be a cold unfeeling doll. Just like the ones in the windows of the shop windows from years ago.

His fingers curled around the cool wood as he stared blankly at the cloud. His legs were starting to feel stiff, still not a hundred percent. Still not talking to JIsung.

Slowly beginning to avoid the rest of his family.

It would be easier if they all treated him like one of the clockwork dolls. That was all he pretty much was, a clockwork doll with a mind and a heart. But he knew they never would do that to him. Minho and Hyunjin were too deeply embedded in his heart for him to let them go while the others treated him just as they would treat any other human.

All save Chris. His 'creator', the one who saved him. His brother.

Reasonably speaking Chris probably had the most reason to think he wasn't a doll. But... He was the only one who seemed to treat him like one. He never answered Felix unless it was necessary and ignored him until it was necessary or his clockwork needed repairs.

It made it easier to distance himself at last.

Pale arms wrapped around his waist and a chin was placed in his hair. Soft lips placed kisses in his hair for a moment before Hyunjin's hand came to rest on his own, the polished wooden railing still resting beneath Felix's.

"Found you, baby." The elder murmured into his hair. Felix chose not to dignify that with a response. The only one he could think of would either confirm Hyunjin's worries or confirm his own.

There was a quiet hum.

"Chris says he's been looking for you. And I've noticed you've stopped talking to hyung today. You alright Lixie?" He hummed again, enjoying the way Hyunjin pressed his lips against his hair.

"He probably just wants to do more repairs honestly." Felix murmured after a moment, moving his hand to link fingers with the elder, "I don't want to see him right now." Hyunjin's fingers squeezed Felix's gently, the soft flesh pressing against the covering of his chassis.

"He wants to help you, Felix. Give him a chance to act like a brother perhaps?"

Felix sighed, leaning back into his Boyfriend's chest.

"Maybe. When's Minho getting back?" He mumbled in an attempt to change the subject. He felt the vibrations of Hyunjin's laugh echo through his clockwork.

"Soon, why?"

"Can't I want cuddles from both my partners without getting attacked? Honestly, what has the world come to?" Again, Hyunjin was laughing.

The Airship ride was smooth, almost the smoothest Felix had ever been on. The blimp was the first of it's kind, running a combination of Clockwork, steam and a magic gas instead of one of the three like most others. Honestly, He was a little sceptic about it.

Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Either way, he was only here for his mother. His mother was terrified of these sorts of things after all.

So he was here, hands laced with his mother's as her fingers twisted in the fabric of her skirts. The ruffled fabric cut off above her knees in the front, clearly allowing Felix to see how much she was shaking.

"If it wasn't necessary to use these to travel between Seoul and Sydney, Felix, I wouldn't be on here. But your father's still..." He understood, his father had been in the city ever since he was 14 on work. And the two years without his father had been stressful for him in a way.

The boy nodded in response, letting his eyes watch the clouds pass with a frown. They were beginning to descend, and he could see the landing zone for the blimp now. Home soon.

A quiet ticking noise filled the air, the first Felix had heard on this trip. He paused, looking around in curiosity. The rest of the ride had been quiet save for now. It was weird. The ticking got louder. Then.

Everything went white.

Felix woke up with a jerk, throwing himself out of the bed in a rush. He hit the ground with a thump and a loud gasp. His hands rose to his chest, then to his neck before moving again. It was okay, it was just a dream. He was alive. He was still here.

A quiet snore echoed through the room as he pushed himself up. As he checked his bed he sighed in relief. Minho and Hyunjin were still crashed out thank god.

He watched the pair for a moment, his heart aching, before he turned to creep out of the bedroom. The door opened and a clockwork cat was instantly by his feet.

Felix sighed, running his hands through his hair as he stepped through the quiet apartment and over to the Balcony again. The cat wound between his legs as he leant on the railing once more.

As he found himself watching dimly lit clouds.

"You're hiding from everyone." Chris sounded strangely worried as he crept over to the clockwork boy. Felix raised an eyebrow at him, turning to watch as his brother stepped onto the balcony to stand beside him.

The man's curls were unruly like he'd been up all night in his workshop, or had just woken up. Felix was willing to bet it was the former.

"Are you alright Felix?"

He froze, peering at the man. Had he just heard that right?

"What does it matter to you?" Chris sighed, leaning his head over the railings with a frown.

"I'm your brother, I'm meant to care." He replied ina gentle tone. Felix scoffed, clenching his fingers to grip at the railings. The ticking got louder.

"If pulling me apart is you caring, you have a funny way of showing it." Felix murmured in a cold tone. Chris flinched, looking clearly regretful at the action. Felix narrowed his eyes, confused at the actions but he didn't have any time to unpack what it could mean.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Clink

Something in Chris's pocket clinked as he pulled it out of his trouser pocket. Felix stared at him, a frown on his face. Slowly, the elder opened his hand, showing Felix the golden locket in his hand.

One of their last memories of their mother.

"It's hard to love you, Felix," He started, threading his fingers through the chain before he continued, "You want to be loved, but you think - Want even - Everyone hates you. You want to be human, but you force everyone around you to treat you like a doll." Chris paused, clenching his fist around the locket and tucking it away.

"You want someone to be close to, someone to love you. But you don't want me. You don't want my love. You get mad at me for loving you, then get mad at me for treating you as you want me to treat you. I'm not a mind reader Felix. I can't tell what you want from me." Felix flinched at the words, lips open to deny them. Chris was wrong, he was wrong.

He loved Chris, Chris didn't love him back.

Chris was the person in the wrong here. Felix knew it.

There was a sigh, before Chris leaned on the railing, eyes closing, "I know you want someone to blame for Mother's death. For how you are. But don't blame me. I couldn't save her, God knows I tried. I tried to save you as well, and I didn't want you to be this either. Please... Don't shut me out. I can't lose you as well."

There were tears in his brother's eyes. Felix didn't want to agree with it. He wasn't the one shutting Chris out... Was he?

He thought back to it, to every time Chris had tried to initiate a conversation with him. To the way Felix had always blown him off, avoided him, ever since the crash. How he had cursed Chris for his mother's death and for his clockwork body.

... To the way he had forced Chris to act around him.

Chris had his hands risen to his eyes, hiding them from Felix in a way he never used to. What did he do? He wasn't sure how to comfort Chris anymore.

He ran.

Minho and Hyunjin found him several hours later, curled in an alleyway somewhere in the city. They didn't talk, just sat next to him and offered him some warmth.

Half an hour passed that way, no questions asked, until Hyunjin stood and pulled Felix to his feet.

"Let's get you home baby. Dori's missing you, I bet." That earnt a slightly displeased noise from Minho, but Felix nodded anyway, letting himself be lead out the alley and onto the busy streets. men and women drifted around him without him noticing

He misses the way Hyunjin presses his lips against his temple and the way Minho's arm is wrapped around his waist.

He missed the way that, when he was pulled into their home, the clockwork creatures swarmed them and the way Minho reached over to kiss Hyujin quickly.

He didn't miss the way Chris froze when he came in the room. How he quickly left. It was almost like the events from hours earlier had been a dream.

Yes of course. He wasn't the one hurting Chris. That wasn't him.

No one else looked at him when they entered the room. Not even as he was lead to his room. And that was fine, he could care less.

He was tired anyway.

"Felix. We need to talk. I think, you need to change the way you treat Chris hyung. Not just Chris, all of us actually." There was a flinch, but Minho knew he couldn't watch they way Felix treated everyone anymore.

They were people. Not clockwork.

[crafiet]

1-50 OC questionnaire !!

ill use ary

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?anyone else paranoid about people stealing their unpublished work or ideas or name bc me. her name is ary and i found it from a generator [lmao so original] and i thought it was cute. her last name is like pretty standard for fantasy and it inspired me to have everyone elses last names in a similar vibe2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?WELL lmao shes had a lot. prisoner #22876, the wraith, princess ary. ive scrapped all except the prisoner one and u can guess how she got it3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? she was raised among royals and nobles so she has a lot of good memories with her parents and other kids her age running around doing dumb shit. most of her bad memories happen once she becomes a teenager4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? she has an overwhelming love for her parents, she idolizes them heavily and is grateful for how much they taught her. a good memory is probably them teaching her how to use magic for the first time and she being unable to control it and almost burning her eyebrows off lmao5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?no siblings6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?tbh i havent thought much about their education system as young kids, since its not really relevant and i dont tend to worldbuild stuff that never shows up. however she did attend an academy specifically for her magic caste and she had a fun time up until some shit went down and she deserted. shes pretty competitive and liked versing her friends7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? she was one of those weird kids who preferred hanging out with her parents over everybody else. so she had one good friend in the academy whos still her friend today, but otherwise she would race home and annoy her mum lol8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? no pets. she has a soft spot for horses though, because she has had so many in her “career”9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? horses like her, i guess they can sense shes good with them. at one point in the novel she sees some jackals and is afraid of them so shes probably not a dog person10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?she doesnt have anything against kids, but shes not very good with them, shes never been one for baby talk or dumbing herself down. in one draft she takes care of some adolescents and lets cyri take over bc he loves kids lol11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?nahh12. What is their favourite food? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh13. What is their least favourite food?uhHHHHHH14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?man idk, its not like my characters arent well rounded realistic people but im not gonna know her favourite fucking colour bc it doesnt matter in the story lmao15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?i would say shes ok, she doesnt burn anything but shes not a gourmet chef [despite having lessons as a child]16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? ohh i used to have an answer for this but she probably doesnt now just bc shes pretty nomadic and usually only has the clothes on her back lmao17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?cameras dont exist in her world my dudee. but if she lived in modern day which ive thought of, shed be the type to take a bunch of pics of her friends and stuff she likes bc she likes having the memory in a solid form, her actual memory is shit lol18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything elsehmm i suppose shed be a horror fan, and shed love making fun of stupid characters19. What’s their least favourite genres?man idk. romance? shes kinda #2edgy4me20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?hmm i think shes more a soft music fan, just something idly playing in the background. ex. a bard playing something for the crowd while she kicks back w friends21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?she has a short temper. shes easily triggered with any emotion so shes quick to argue or whatever22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?id like to think shes witty, and she always says stuff to peoples faces bc a bitch has rabies and wants to fight apparently23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?bad memory, shes gone through physical torture and isolation [wew] so. shes better at names, growing up with royals she got to learn a bunch of family names etc24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?a light sleeper. crazy light. and she can sleep anywhere, so she has no problems sleeping on the ground unlike others25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?she pretends to be stoic but when u get to know her her humour’s pretty lame, shell laugh at anything if just to make u feel better26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions? she tends to hide them under an indifferent mask27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?despite being able to hide her emotions, she does succumb to fear a lot and cries openly, but will continue to do whatever shes doing through tears so shes scary in that regard28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?abandonment is a huge one. shes not a fan of predatory animals. shes brave though, and will do whatevers necessary, kinda like unwilling exposure therapy lol29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? she doesnt like exploiting people so shell never use someones fear against them. for friends, shell protect them and warn them if something like that is gonna happen30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?lmao she walks or goes horse riding everywhere and is severely malnourished31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?i just wrote a scene like this!! shes louder in general, laughs more. her guard comes down more and more with every drink. she can hold her liquor pretty well but when shes blacked out shes pretty much useless32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?she prefers comfort and mobility over everything else. she tends to dress pretty masculine, and never does anything with her hair. does she know what a brush is?33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?...................ask her lol idk. probably just basic comfy ones34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?she is 5′9. when shes healthy, she has a willowy figure but more on the boxy side than curvy. she doesnt really attribute much to her body [imagine living life without dysmorphia mfg]35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? i dont she counts anything as a ‘guilty’ pleasure. she just enjoys what she enjoys, fuck whatever people think36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?she loves fishing! she used to do it a lot with her dad. i dont think shes a particularly good singer37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?yeah she likes reading. she reads pretty fast and prefers nonfiction. she thinks poetry can get too pretentious lmao38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?#deep but i think she admires kindness and care in others. she wishes she was a better person at times and wants to be able to express how much people meant to her39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? lmao letters are the only thing in her world. if she lived w us shed probably be all about texting 600 in a row and then calling when u dont reply “what do u mean you cant answer. its called INSTANT messaging for a reason!!”40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?she stays awake through sheer willpower shes a beast41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?shes bi/pan. not really a thing about labels in her world. she loves long hair and soft personalities42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?plot spoilers!!43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?shes not religious. there is a heavy theme of religion in the novel [which i need to write better in the second draft] but she was kinda skeptical as a child and probably lost faith entirely after she went through some harrowing stuff 44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? winter. she prefers the cold and hates heat45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? i think people see her as scarier than she is. shes a formidable opponent and does not give a fuck what you say, but her reputation precedes her a little bit, a lot of things she did out of fear or force are seen as ‘badass’ and ‘brave’46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?shes a compulsive liar, and a good one at that. so she tends to show herself differently to almost everyone she meets, but usually its a false potrayal47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?ugh she haaaaaates formal stuff and parties. she grew up royal and had to suffer through many a dinner and gathering. at this point in her life youd never get her in a dress that impeded her movement. shes ok with dresses but really big poofy ones she refuses to wear48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? in our world shed be one for a chill house party. show up with a case of beer, sit outside by the barbie, listen to music and talk shit. shes not good at organising so she doesnt tend to host, and if she were dragged by a friend itd probably be to a formal event or with people she didnt know so shed just sulk in the corner49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?she abandoned her material possessions before the story a. bc she was forced and b. they bring back way too many painful memories50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials? food, change of clothes, weapons. thats about it. she tries not to be super nasty and find an inn to shower and stuff but shes also poor af