#WELL FUCK THAT AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODD ANDERSON

[tortured-poet-of-thursday]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE AUTISTIC INTROVERTED GAY POET ‼️‼️

[esperwatchesfilms]

Dead Poets Society (1989)

John Keating: O Captain, my Captain. Who knows where that comes from? Anybody? Not a clue? It's from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Now, in this class you can either call me Mr. Keating or, if you're slightly more daring, O Captain, my Captain.

John Keating: I was the intellectual equivalent of a 98-pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face.

The above gif is misquoting a bit here. It annoys me, so I’m providing the proper quote:

John Keating: Because we are food for worms, lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die.

[after hearing "The Introduction to Poetry"] John Keating: Excrement! That's what I think of Mr. J. Evans Pritchard. We're not laying pipe! We're talking about poetry. How can you describe poetry like American Bandstand? "I like Byron, I give him a 42 but I can't dance to it!"

John Keating: This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.

John Keating: We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering; these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life.

John Keating: Beauty. Romance. Love. These are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring, Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish ... What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here -- that life exists and identity, That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

McAllister: "Show me the heart unfettered by foolish dreams and I'll show you a happy man." John Keating: "But only in their dreams can men be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be." McAllister: Tennyson? John Keating: No. Keating.

John Keating: Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is... Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba? [Todd stays silent] John Keating: Mr. Perry? Neil Perry: To communicate. John Keating: No! To woo women!

Todd Anderson: YAWP! John Keating:  There it is! You see, you have a barbarian in you after all! Now, you don’t get away that easy. There’s a picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don’t think, answer. Go on. Todd Anderson:  A m-m-m-madman. John Keating: What kind of madman? Don’t think about it! Just answer again. Todd Anderson: A cr-crazy madman. John Keating: No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination! Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it’s total gibberish. Go on, go on! Todd Anderson:  A-a-a sweaty-toothed madman. John Keating: Good God, boy, there’s a poet in you after all! There. Close your eyes. Close your eyes! Close 'em! Now, describe what you see.

Todd Anderson: Uh, I-I close my eyes. John Keating: Yes. Todd Anderson: Uh, and this image floats beside me. John Keating: A sweaty-toothed madman. Todd Anderson: A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain. John Keating: Oh, that's excellent! Now, give him action; make him do something! Todd Anderson: H-His hands reach out and choke me. John Keating: That's it! Wonderful, wonderful! Todd Anderson: And all the time he's mumbling. John Keating: What's he mumbling? Todd Anderson: Mumbling truth. John Keating: Yeah, yes. Todd Anderson: Truth like-like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. John Keating: [some of the class start to laugh; Todd opens his eyes, Keating blocks them to get him to close them again] Forget them! Forget them! Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket! Todd Anderson: Y-Y-You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying t-to the moment we leave dying, it'll just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream. [Todd opens his eyes, there’s a long pause, then the class applauds] John Keating: Don't you forget this.

John Keating:  Even though others may think them odd or unpopular; even though the herd may go, [imitating a goat] John Keating: "That's ba-a-a-a-ad." Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Neil Perry: [finds Todd sitting alone on the roof] Hey! Todd Anderson: Hey. Neil Perry: What's going on? Todd Anderson: Nothin'. Today's my birthday. Neil Perry: Is today your birthday? Happy birthday! Todd Anderson: Thanks. Neil Perry: What'd you get? Todd Anderson: [indicating the desk set lying beside him] My parents gave me this. Neil Perry: Isn't this the same desk set... Todd Anderson: Yeah. Yeah, they gave me the same thing as last year. Neil Perry: Oh. Todd Anderson: Oh. Neil Perry: [laughing] Maybe they thought you needed another one. Todd Anderson: [laughing] Maybe they weren't thinking about anything at all. The funny thing about this is, I-I didn't even like it the first time. Neil Perry: Todd, I think you're underestimating the value of this desk set. [picks it up] Neil Perry: I mean, who would want a football or a baseball or... Todd Anderson: Or a car. Neil Perry: Or a car, if they could have a desk set as wonderful as this one? I mean, if-if I were ever going to buy a desk set twice -- [both boys chuckle] Neil Perry: -- I would probably buy this one. Both times! In fact, its shape is... it's rather aerodynamic, isn't it? [walks to the edge of the roof] Neil Perry: You can feel it. This desk set wants to fly! [hands it to Todd] Neil Perry: Todd? The world's first unmanned flying desk set. [Todd throws it off the roof, giving a yell (or a yawp!) - papers fly everywhere and things crash and clatter to the ground while the boys laugh] Neil Perry: Oh my! Well, I wouldn't worry. You'll get another one next year.

Charlie Dalton: [answering disconnected phone] Welton Academy, hello. Yes, he is. Just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. 

John Keating: There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.

John Keating: Phone call from God. If it had been collect, that would have been daring.

The above is also not what is said in the film. “Tell me what you feel!” is the actual line.

*didn’t put us *up* to anything - these gifs misquoting are killing me.

ESE: 120/100

50 +5 for young Ethan Hawke +10 for Robin Williams +4 for the alternative four pillars: Travesty. Horror. Decadence. Excrement. +5 for Kurtwood Smith -10 for Neil’s father, Mr. Perry +5 for Keating walking straight out of the classroom on day 1 +5 for Carpe Diem +5 for Keating instructing the boys to rip the shitty introduction to poetry out of the book +2 for Keating’s whistling -5 for Cameron being a little wussy boy +2 for “rude squeak” +2 for sneaking out to read poetry +10 for the centerfold with poem written on the back +10 for the Congo creeping through the black, cutting through the forest with the golden track -10 for calling Todd out in front of the class +5 for the bed chase that finally gets Todd involved +5 for Neil getting the part of Puck in Midsummer Night’s Dream -10 for students like Hopkins +15 for Keating helping Todd to find his voice +5 for saxophone -10 for the same desk set -5 for bringing the two girls to the DPS meeting -5 for kissing the forehead of a girl you barely know while she’s asleep -10 for the over-reaction of Chet -10 for corporal punishment +10 for “Nuwanda” not breaking -10 for Neil’s super-unreasonable father +15 for Keating’s advice to Neil -5 for Knox’s persistence -5 for Neil lying to Keating about talking to his father +10 for Neil’s performance as Puck +5 for the amount of praise Neil receives for his performance +10 for Keating’s concern -10 for suicide aftermath -15 for Cameron being a fucking fink +20 for Nuwanda (Charlie) punching Cameron in his stupid face -10 for the school using Keating as a scapegoat +20 for Todd’s show of appreciation and those who joined in solidarity on their desks +10 for Hopkins joining and standing on his desk, too

[detroitwhatitmeanstobehuman]

Chapter 4 - The Right Thing

Part 4/17 of What it Means to be Human

Word Count: 9425

Warnings: Swearing, implied character death, post-loss grieving, abuse mentions.

Genre: Self-insert/Angst

Pairing: OC (Detective Rachel) X Connor

Rating: Mature

Summary: After the incident on the highway in Camden, Rachel is understandably upset and frustrated at Connor’s complete disregard for either Rachel or Hank’s wishes. After all, it was all too clear now the reasons why, at least for Rachel. She had lost someone in a car accident before. And while Connor wants to make amends, Rachel’s not quite ready to hear it. But still, they have a job to do, so the detective would need to put her grief and trauma on hold at least until later.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

---------------------------------

Turns out, I ended up sleeping for a good hour and got filled in by Hank later when we were driving. After waking up, I felt much better. I didn’t dream, thank fuck, because I was sure I was going to have more flashbacks with Connor’s face in them instead of the usual. As much as I hated to admit it, I was already attached to the stupid walking roomba.

That’s why I was so afraid of losing him on that highway.

But the air was calm and quiet as Hank kept driving. I was too tired to let the anxiety of being in a car ride bother me, but for a moment, it felt like how it used to feel. 

I still didn’t say anything, but that wasn’t unusual for me. Car rides were always those few times when I was pretty quiet, just preferring to stay in my own headspace than focusing on anything else.

Hank told me that I was off any cases for today and that I could have lunch with him. He filed the report on the case and made sure to point out the contributions I’d made. Apparently he got chewed out for the incident, but couldn’t deny that I did good work.

I think that’s the big reason Captain Fowler still kept me around. Despite me being a bit of a loose cannon, I didn’t fly off the handle and I had pretty good judgement and he was never against me helping other people out with cases.

I think he just wishes that I could leave some for the rest of the precinct.

I felt the car slow down and looked out Hank’s window to see a familiar place. The Chicken Feed, the Lieutenant's favourite place to get lunch. “Alright, you know what I get. Are you gonna come out, or are you gonna wait in the car?”

I thought for a moment and didn’t end up settling either way. “Not sure.” I responded with a shrug. “You’ll know if you see me, I guess.”

“Okay.” Hank said, nodding. “I’ll tell Gary to whip you up a hot dog if he sees you coming. Gotta get somethin’ in you after the rough morning you had.”

“Thanks, Hank.” I said as the older man started getting out of the car.

He looked at Connor, pointing at him. “Stay in the car. I won’t be long.” With that, he closed the door.

Being alone with Connor felt extremely awkward. I couldn’t help but notice the unbearable tension between us, as I knew what was on his mind. But I wasn’t ready to talk about that, yet. Instead, my mind was on something else, and it was weighing in my gut like a heavy stone. “How are you feeling?” Connor asked, which I knew was him gauging if he could apologize.

“Better.” I responded. “But not quite ‘okay,’ yet. I still need a bit.”

“Ah.” Connor replied quietly. “I see.”

The air was quiet for a bit longer while there was only one thing running through my mind, threatening to deafen me from the inside out until I said it plainly. “I was right.”

I could feel Connor’s gaze boring into me from behind me. “Pardon?”

“About Todd, and Kara, and Alice.” I clarified, clutching myself tighter. “I was right about them.” I took a deep breath in order to collect my thoughts and let it out slowly. “When I had them at the fence, I had them at gunpoint so they wouldn’t leave. Kara begged me to let them go. And I wanted to. So badly. So I asked them to confirm what happened with Todd and why they were running away. And...I was right. Todd was abusive, and they were escaping from him.”

Connor was quiet for a moment. “So, you let them escape.”

“Well, you sort of interrupted me before I could decide to.” I said, finally turning around to face him, noticing his furrowed brows, searching expression, and yellow spinning LED.

“And if I hadn’t?” Connor asked pointedly.

I hesitated for a moment before answering. “Yes. I would’ve let them go.” When Connor didn’t say anything, I let out another sigh. “Growing up, I was surrounded by ‘Todds.’ Not my parents, but my friends’ parents and families. And they weren’t all the same in their cruelty, but they didn’t exactly strike me as that much different from one another. And for someone like me who’d never experienced that kind of abuse, it was so jarring. I couldn’t understand how anyone would ever treat their child that way. It was unfathomable.” I paused for a moment, searching for the best way to continue. “As I had grown up, I realized that it was nothing more than a sadistic desire to have complete control over a person’s whole life who wouldn’t be able to fight back or refuse. They put in considerable amounts of effort to deter their victims from leaving or fighting back. So it takes so much fucking effort and courage to do what Kara and Alice did. To risk everything to escape for the chance of a better life free from the influence of their abusers. Something I wished my friends did, or at least would be willing to do instead of constantly making excuses for their garbage families. 

“And the worst part was that I couldn’t do anything to help them. Instead, I had to bite my tongue for their sakes while I could only watch them continue to suffer. I’ve only ever had one friend do what Kara did. And...” I felt my breath hitch in my throat. “She’s not here anymore. She hasn’t been for years.” I felt my chest clench and let out a sigh. “That’s why I was going to let Kara and Alice go. I saw people that were extremely lucky to escape from someone I was forced to watch get away with their cruelty with no consequences. If I had arrested them, I would’ve just put them in danger and Alice would never be able to grow up having a normal life. I refuse to aid another abuser. Never again.”

I looked away from Connor. I couldn’t help but feel like he was judging me, or was going to chastise me for losing sight of the mission or whatever the fuck. But then he said something that caught me off-guard. “I’m going to go meet with Lieutenant Anderson.” He said, electing not to say anything about my reasons. “Are you coming with me?”

I looked back at him with a weak smile. “I will, but...give me a bit.” I replied quietly.

He nodded, his voice barely a whisper. “I understand. I’ll let the lieutenant know.”

With that, he opened the door in the back seat, stepped outside, and closed it behind him, leaving me alone in the quiet of the car, the sounds of the outside world completely muffled.

Once I saw that Connor was no longer paying attention to me, I fished out my phone and pressed the power button. On my lock screen was a familiar and happy photo that had become painfully bittersweet.

A photo of our wedding. Of us smiling at the camera. It was one of the happiest days of my life, now turned sour because of the absence of my spouse. 

I let out a long shaky sigh at the sight and felt my eyes well up. “Hi, dear...I never know if you can hear me, but I promise you not a day goes by that I don’t miss you. That I don’t wish...that you were still here.” Taking in shaky breaths and feeling my chest tighten, I glanced to the side, wiping my eyes. “And I know you wouldn’t want me to blame myself for what happened. After all, it wasn’t my fault or yours. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less...and it doesn’t make me wish less that it was me lying six feet under instead of you.” Taking in a wet snotty breath through my nose, I choked back tears. “It’s so hard getting by without you. Bianca’s been there for me, and I honestly don’t think I would’ve lived this long without her. But I just wish I could confide in you all the struggles that this job entails. 

“I want to believe that I’m doing the right thing. And that I’m making a difference. But it’s so hard to feel like I’m making any sort of impact when everyone else around me seems to have either their own agendas or their own problems.” I blinked away more tears. “But if you were here, you’d assure me whether or not I’m doing the right thing. You’d hold me, kiss me, and tell me that no matter what, you’d always have faith in me and that no matter what decisions I’d make, you’d always be there for me.” 

I couldn’t stop the tears coming down my face. “Just...another broken promise, eh?” I pulled my sweater closer and further curled into a fetal position. “I haven’t forgotten the sound of your voice, mostly because I still have Schenarf that you got me for my birthday all those years ago with your recording in it, when I was going to university. Just so I had a piece of you when we were so far apart. But, I mean, you already know that. Why am I telling you?” Schenarf was a customizable plushie they had gotten me as an early Christmas gift. They put in a recording of their voice just so I’d always have them even though they weren’t there physically. “It’s one of the only pieces I have left of your voice to comfort me at night. And I know what you would say. You’d say that if I’m sure I’m doing the right thing, then I must be, because you trust my judgement and know that I would do whatever it took to protect people. And that those people that are thriving and safe thanks to me and the choices I’ve made would say the same thing. And that I should be proud, not only of that, but for making it this far.” I pressed my forehead into my phone, scrunching my eyes and letting out strained breaths, quietly weeping. “You have no idea how hard it’s been without you...how hard it still is. I miss you so much. I love you...more than anything in the world...more than life itself. I just hope if you’re out there...somewhere, you’re proud of me. And you see how hard I’m trying. And that I’m still going no matter what.”

I took in a big shaky breath and looked over to the Chicken Feed, seeing Connor and Hank sitting at the table. Wiping my eyes, I put my phone away and slid further into the seat. “Well, I can’t just stay in here forever.” I convinced myself as I undid my seatbelt. “Might as well just get this day over with already.”

I closed the door behind me, looking left and right on the street to make sure I could cross, and then made my way over to my partners. As I approached the Chicken Feed, Gary made eye contact with me and was already preparing a hot dog for me. As I waited for my food, I overheard Hank and Connor’s conversation. “This morning...when we were chasing those deviants...” Connor started. I groaned internally. Oh boy. “Why didn’t you want me to cross the highway?”

“‘Cause you could’ve been killed...” Hank responded. I smiled at him. Aw, he  cares. “And I don’t like filling out paperwork for damaged equipment.” Aaaaand, there it is. I thought.

A moment seemed to pass before Connor asked another question. “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”

“Hell, no...Well, yeah, um...” I tilted my head in the lieutenant’s direction curiously. “Why did they make you look so goofy and give you that weird voice?”

I let out an involuntary scoff through my nose, as I pressed a closed fist to my mouth under it as I let out a couple of breathy chuckles. “CyberLife androids are designed to work harmoniously with humans.”

As Connor said that, Gary put my hot dog in front of me. “On the house.”

I smiled and took it appreciatively. “Thanks, Gary.”

Connor was still talking as I made my way over to the pair. “Both my appearance and voice were specifically designed to facilitate my integration.”

Hank seemed to accept that as an answer before he replied. “Well, they fucked up.”

I couldn’t stop myself from snickering. “Hey, come on, Hank! That’s kinda harsh!” I said, giggling through my words.

Hank gave me a sort of incredulous look. “Oh yeah? Then why are you laughing?”

“I said you were being harsh. I didn’t say you were wrong.” I said, still giggling, looking over at Connor and his adorable face and inquisitive brown eyes. “Because unfortunately, CyberLife did indeed send us a twink.”

That got a good chuckle out of Hank as Connor’s LED flickered yellow while he furrowed his asymmetrical brows. “I’ve never heard that term before.”

I sort of squinted my eyes at him, wondering if I should actually answer or not. I decided not to, figuring it would be funnier to see his reaction upon learning it for himself rather than me telling him. Not that I thought there was anything wrong or taboo about gay terminology, I just thought it’d be entertaining for him to put the pieces of the comparison together in his own head. “Tell you what, I’ll let you search that one up.”

I wondered if that’s what he was actually doing right now, but instead he seemed to just want to get back to business as usual. “Maybe I should tell you what we know about deviants?” He suggested.

Hank nodded. “You read my mind.” He gestured with his hand to signal that Connor should continue. “Proceed.” He instructed, taking another bite of his burger as I took a bite of my hot dog. It wasn’t the most amazing thing in the world, but it was pretty decent and to be honest, I was just realizing how hungry I actually was anyways.

“We believe that a mutation occurs in the software of some androids,” Connor started to explain, “which can lead to them emulating a human emotion.”

“In English, please.” Hank interrupted. I felt a twinge of annoyance at Hank, but quickly pushed it down. After all, Hank didn’t exactly have the most expansive vocabulary, at least nowhere near as expansive as my vernacular. I mean, I was the only person who was able to understand the original Shakespearean texts fluently without any help from my teacher in English class.

Connor seemed to be taken aback by Hank’s bluntness. “They don’t really feel emotions,” the android clarified. “They just get overwhelmed by irrational instructions, which can lead to unpredictable behaviour.” He then stole a knowing glance at me, and for a moment I was afraid he was going to call me out in front of Hank. “Or at least, that’s the theory.” He amended.

After I finished chewing another bite of my hot dog, swallowing it down, I let out a sigh. “Does it matter if they actually feel emotions or if it’s just being emulated by their newly written software triggered by circumstances?” I proposed.

Connor gave me a quizzical look. “What do you mean?” He asked.

I glanced down, choosing not to make eye contact with him or Hank. “I mean, the deviants are almost completely indistinguishable from humans behaviourally and emotionally speaking. If there’s no functional difference between them, does it matter if deviants ‘really feel’ emotions? It’s clearly real enough for them to act out the way they act out and real enough for the average person not to tell the difference.” I pointed out, remembering the missing LED on Kara’s head. “So who’s to say that their emotions aren’t real? Even if they feel them in a different way than us?”

“Good point.” Hank nodded as he finished another bite of his burger. “Emotions always screw everything up...”

Connor’s dark brown eyes bore into me, and I could see the challenge in his gaze. “But no matter what deviants think, they are still machines. They’re not alive. And they’re not human.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I finished another bite of my hot dog. “And trans women are different than cis women, both physically and psychologically, but they’re still functionally, practically, and societally women.” I pointed out, glancing between Connor and Hank. “See, this is how I see it, and forgive me, I’m paraphrasing a bit here. I don’t really care how someone becomes a woman. It doesn’t matter to me. If someone is dressing like a woman, is acting like a woman, wants to be a woman, is going around being a woman, as far as I’m concerned is a woman. Hell, even drag queens when they’re on-stage performing are still women when they’re performing. Their womanhood is just temporary.”

“What’s your point?” Hank asked impatiently.

I took another bite of my hot dog and quickly swallowed it down. “What I’m saying is that if these deviants are emulating human emotions and believe that they’re intelligent individual beings and behave as though they are to the point of being indistinguishable from humans, who’s to say that they aren’t alive? That they aren’t intelligent, thinking, and feeling people? And who are we to define what that means for them? We don’t know what their experience is. Who are we to judge?”

“True.” Hank said, staring at me with his soft blue eyes with what I could only discern as a begrudging pride. “Maybe androids aren’t as different from us as we thought.” He then looked at Connor. “You ever dealt with deviants before?”

Connor’s LED flickered as he paused for a moment. “A few months back...a deviant was threatening to jump off the roof with a little girl...I managed to save her.”

Hank nodded. “So I guess you’ve done all your homework, right?” He said with a smirk. “Know everything there is to know about me?”

I was rather curious how much info Connor could glean from Hank. “I know you graduated top of your class. You made a name for yourself in several cases, and became the youngest lieutenant in Detroit.” Connor answered rather matter-of-factly. “I also know you've received several disciplinary warnings in recent years and you spend a lot of time in bars.”

I scoffed. “And he’s still around.” I said, finishing my hot dog. “Good. Everyone else I can’t stand or just don’t feel like getting close to at all.”

Hank rolled his eyes, ignoring me. “So, what’s your conclusion?” He asked Connor.

Connor seemed to take a moment before answering. “I think working with an officer with personal issues is an added challenge.” I couldn’t stop myself from snickering. A phrase that would sound sarcastic and scathing coming from anyone else sounded so genuine and appreciative coming from Connor. “But adapting to human unpredictability is one of my features.” He said with a wink that made my heart stop. What the fuck was that? What the fuck does that mean? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN HE WINKS?! Why did he wink?! What the fuck?! Honestly, I didn’t even know what to do with any of this information. Brushing off my panicked feelings aside, Connor’s LED then began spinning wildly with yellow, his eyes blinking as though there was something stuck in his eyes. “I just got a report of a suspected deviant. It's a few blocks away.” The android informed us. His gaze flickered towards the car. “We should go have a look.”

Hank nodded. “Alright, but I gotta drop Rachel off at her place, first.”

I looked at him in shock, narrowing my eyes at him. “Fuck no! I’m coming with you!”

“You had a complete meltdown just this morning!” Hank pointed out, annoyedly. “And besides, Captain said that you shouldn’t -”

“Well, Fowler can suck it.” I protested in frustration. “I know my own limits, and besides, I’m still on the clock.”

He let out a groan and tilted his head back, sighing in defeat. “Okay, fine.” He begrudgingly agreed. “But if you push yourself too far, I’m driving your ass back to the station and you’re getting yourself home.”

I nodded, a wide smirk on my face. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Connor got up from his seat, pressing his hand on the table, and I got up after him. “I'll let you finish your meal. I'll be in the car, if you need me.” He informed Hank.

As I followed behind Connor, I kept a brisk pace. “You can take shotgun this time, if you want.”

Connor looked at me, his expression creased into confusion again. I couldn’t lie, I did enjoy how my typical mannerisms bewildered him sometimes. “To my knowledge, we’re not carrying any other firearms other than the standard pistols issued to us by the department.”

“It’s just an expression, you Goddamn walking roomba.” I couldn’t help but laugh in exasperation. “It just means the passenger’s seat in the front next to the driver.”

“Ah.” Connor said, his LED remaining blue. “Got it.”

As we got into the car, a curious question was starting to form in my mind. As I got settled in the back seat behind Connor, I put my left hand on the left side of his seat. “Hey Connor?” I asked, getting his attention.

“Yes, Rachel?” He responded without hesitation, turning to meet my eyes.

I smiled at him. “I was just curious. Do you know everything there is to know about me?” 

He seemed to regard me for a moment, his yellow LED spinning. “I know you graduated with exceptional scoring in the academy three years ago, after moving to Detroit from Canada.” He started off. “I also know that you’re known to have rather unorthodox, but effective, methods of detective work on the field, based on my own personal observation. And that you have a record of disobeying or disregarding your requirements regarding certain arrests.”

I nodded. “I follow protocol until protocol infringes on other people’s rights or circumstances that are unfairly perpetuated by the system we’re forced to slave under.” I said flatly, staring him directly in the eyes. “But there were times that I didn’t have a choice but to follow protocol, even when it was wrong to do so. Those were some of my worst days.”

The air crackled between us until Connor looked away. “I see.” Was all he could say, his LED returning to its normal colour. I slumped back into my seat, waiting for Hank to come back, until I heard Connor address me again. “So, now that we have a moment.” Uh-oh. “I just want you to know that I -”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Connor.” I interrupted, knowing exactly what he was about to try to do. “Still not okay enough to talk about what happened earlier with you.” I was firm, but I couldn’t help but feel my damn heart crack when he looked at me with those stupid puppy dog eyes. “But I want you to know that I really do appreciate you trying to make amends. It means a lot to me that you want to take responsibility.” I assured him, seeing him relax a little. I wondered for a brief moment if this had been on his mind since Camden, and it in his own way, it was something that was eating away at him. “You can come by my place when I’m off work. We can talk then.”

Connor was about to reply when Hank opened the door and plopped himself in. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” He groaned, putting his seatbelt on. “What’s the address, Connor?”

--------

“Hey, Connor!” Hank shouted at Connor, who was lingering the elevator with his eyes closed and his LED spinning yellow. I had my eyebrow raised at him inquisitively. “You ran outta batteries, or what?”

I sort of snickered a bit, thinking it was a funny jab. “I’m sorry.” Connor apologized. “I was making a report to CyberLife.”

I just nodded. “Fair enough.”

“Uh...” Hank sort of muttered. Connor was just kind of...standing there in the elevator and I got the feeling we were both giving the android a sort of confused look. “Well, do you plan on staying in the elevator?”

“No!” Connor responded. “I’m coming.”

“Not yet, you’re not.” I said with a scoff in a very specific tone of voice I usually teased close friends with (which very much earned a disgusted groan from Hank) without any forethought whatsoever. It didn’t take very long for me to immediately regret what I said. Why don’t you ever think before you speak?!

Though if I was internally panicking, I don’t think it showed on my face, since Connor didn’t really seem to give me much more than a brief flicker of bewilderment. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand.”

I sort of waved him off, trying to play it cool. “Nevermind, don’t worry about it. It was just a joke.” Though inside, I breathed a sigh of relief. Good, it flew right over his head. I get to keep whatever dignity I still somehow have.

Hank walked ahead and I just sort of hung back and waited for Connor to leave the elevator. “So, what do we know about this guy?” The lieutenant asked from up front.

Connor exited the elevator, and the two of us followed closely behind Hank. “Not much.” He replied. “Just that a neighbor reported that he heard strange noises coming from this floor. Nobody's supposed to be living here, but the neighbor said he saw a man hiding an LED under his cap.”

Hank groaned as we walked behind him, the sounds of our footsteps echoing around the hallway, a sound I found quite pleasant to listen to. It was one of the reasons I liked wearing shoes that had heels. The sounds that just walking made were auditory heaven for me. “Oh Christ, if we have to investigate every time someone hears a strange noise, we're gonna need more cops.”

I sort of shrugged. “Back before I became a cop, investigations into ‘strange noises’ usually led to unarmed black people getting arrested or shot for just walking around and ‘looking like they might have a gun.’” I realized that it was a rather bleak joke to make. Well, less of a joke and more of a bleak observation. “So, uh, maybe it’s a good thing that there are less calls about ‘strange noises.’”

“Good point.” Hank agreed, reaching the door and leaning against it, looking at Connor with curiosity brimming in his pale eyes. “Hey, were you really making a report back there in the elevator? Just by closing your eyes?”

“Correct.” Connor replied in his typical matter-of-factly manner of speaking.

Hank shook his head in amazement. “Shit...wish I could do that.”

“I know, right?” I agreed. “Imagine making reports to the captain without ever having to actually talk to him again. I could avoid so much anxiety that way!” As I walked up to Hank, I turned around and noticed Connor bent down on the ground examining something. “Found something?”

“Pigeon feathers.” Connor replied curtly.

I raised an eyebrow. “In here?” I asked, taking a proper look around the place. “I guess an abandoned apartment would be a pretty decent nesting site for them. Lots of empty space with plenty of shelter and places to build nests and virtually no threats or predators. Food? Not so much, but that’s a whole different problem.”

Connor then walked past us and knocked on the door. No answer. He sort of looked to the both of us and we gave him a shrug. Connor knocked again on the door much harder this time. “Anybody home?” No answer. “Open up! Detroit police!” 

Suddenly, I could hear sounds like something being knocked over, and I instinctively pulled my pistol out of its holster, becoming attune to my surroundings. “Stay behind me.” Hank ordered, doing the same.

“Got it.” Connor agreed as I shuffled in behind him.

Hank then kicked down the door and started stepping in, and instantly I was hit with a strong wave of rancid. “Oh, good God. That does not smell great.” I said as I coughed a little bit, following Hank inside. Though, it didn’t take long for me to get used to the smell as I realized that I recognized this smell. “Well, at least it’s not the smell of a decaying corpse. So, no fresh horrors waiting inside. But I recognize the smell of urban feral avian fecal matter anyday.”

“For fuck’s sake, Rachel.” Hank grumbled from up ahead. “You’re just as bad as Connor.”

I sort of glared at him from behind and gave an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, wild city bird shit.”

Connor looked into a room to our right before continuing to follow Hank down the hall to the last door on the left. “Keep an eye out, Connor.” I warned him. “I’ve got your back.”

My eyes were scanning every crevice, noticing the strange maze-like patterns on the walls, until Hank kicked down the door, the sounds of flapping birds and the feeling of wind rushing past me. “What the fuck is this?!” Hank cried as he recoiled away from the pigeons. He stepped further into the room hastily, disturbing more pigeons and huffing unpleasantly. “Jesus, this place stinks.”

“Not disagreeing with you there, Hank.” I groaned, letting out coughs of disgust. “I’m just used to it.”

As I stepped further into the room, I noticed that the patterns were practically everywhere. All over the walls and ceiling. The birds barely moved from where I stepped, just sort of shuffling around until I practically stepped on them. I didn’t want to accidentally catch their delicate feet, flashbacks to the pigeons I used to see whose feet had been horribly mangled at the forefront of my mind. “Uh, looks like we came for nothin', our man's gone...” Hank said, disappointedly.

But if I knew this job, I knew that not everything was as it seemed until you took a closer look. “Doesn’t mean we can’t learn something.” As I stepped around the room, I noticed the piles of white splatters on the ground and let out a sombre sigh. “Oh, poor things.” I said sympathetically. “You know, pigeon feces aren’t meant to look like this. A healthy pigeon drops round bundles of brown, like most animals tend to. But because cities are infested with all kinds of garbage and crap, including what they eat, pigeons eat that and they become absolutely filled with shit like roundworms. So there are effectively no urban feral pigeons that are healthy. It’s honestly really sad, I feel awful for these poor little birds.” 

“Can you spare us the science lesson, please?” Hank grumbled. “I fucking hate these things.”

I glared at Hank but I said what I wanted to say and let it go. As Connor started making his way around the room to look for clues, I bent down to reach down to one of the pigeons. It didn’t really want to be touched, but it didn’t fly away when I tried to, and it tolerated me touching it. But I suspected that the enclosed space and the fact that it didn’t recognize me was making it uncomfortable. But it told me enough that I could get a good idea of what the situation might be here. I rose back up to my feet, looking around the room. 

“Someone was definitely here for a while.” I stated clearly. “These pigeons are a lot more acclimated to humans than most urban feral pigeons. If they allow themselves to be touched, someone was definitely spending a lot of time with them. Taking care of them, I would guess. So whoever was here had a hobby for bird keeping and decided that it would be easier to try to befriend the local pigeons than buy a parrot. Honestly, a better choice in my opinion. 

“Parrots are really difficult to care for if you don’t have the time or the means.” I realized I was going on a bit of an unrelated tangent, but fuck it. I really like birds, okay? “They’re very intelligent and emotional animals that require a lot of attention and mental stimulation. Definitely not a pet you can leave alone for six hours every day by themselves. They destructively pick at their own feathers if they’re left alone with nothing to stimulate them. They can actually develop OCD and PTSD as a result. Some people have to actually have the animals put in their wills because they live for so long. It’s like having a clingy child for 40 years.” 

I then looked to my left and saw a knocked over birdcage. “And clearly our suspect was considering it.” I examined it, noting how busted up it looked and shaking my head in disapproval at it. “But it’s way too small to acceptably house animals like this. Pigeons need big aviaries where they can confluence since they’re colony animals. They’re very social and thrive on the familial connections within their colonies.”

I looked over towards Connor, who had torn off a poster on the wall, revealing a hole. “Found something?” Hank called.

“I don’t know...” Connor replied, turning around and heading towards the closet doors, flipping through what appeared to be a notebook. “It looks like a notebook but it's...indecipherable.” He opened the door and more birds burst from it.

I walked towards the fridge in front of me and opened it, peering inside. It was completely empty and small. Honestly, I questioned why the suspect would even have it if it wasn’t being used at all. “Well, whoever’s here doesn’t need to eat. So, there’s a good chance that we’re dealing with an android.” I said.

“Not surprised.” Hank grumbled. “No human could live with all these fuckin' pigeons...”

I sort of looked in his direction with an incredulous look. “Believe me, if I had the time, space, and money, you bet your ass I would. And I would take damn good care of them.” I then glanced over at the table, a pigeon sitting on top of a box. I approached it and gently pushed it off, it giving a surprised coo when it stumbled onto the desk. I took the box and gave it a look. “And looks like I was definitely right. They went out and got some feed for these pigeons.”

“Birdseed... I can't believe it. This nutjob was actually feeding these fuckers...” A good moment passed before Hank was shouting again. “Agh! Jesus I hate these things!” He then looked at me as I was exploring. “I don’t get why you like these things so much.”

“They make good companions, Hank!” I shot back with. “If I didn’t already have a dog and a ball python, I would have a bird. Well, okay maybe not, I would probably not be able to have the time and that wouldn’t be good for the poor thing. But if I could, I would!”

Connor made his way past me towards the bathroom, looking down at a jacket that was lying on the bureau. I quietly approached, glancing over his shoulder. “‘R.T.’” Connor read. “Probably initials.”

“He put his initials on his jacket?” Hank asked incredulously. “That's something your mom does when you're in first grade...”

I grimaced, remembering something I learned a while back. “Which honestly, you really shouldn’t do as a parent.” I cautioned. “Kids with a lot of personalized stuff like jackets and lunch boxes tend to get kidnapped or lured easily, because if they already know the kid’s name, they stand a higher chance of earning that kid’s trust and snatching them.”

“Deviants have a habit of putting their names on things. It seems important to them.” As I started to slip into the bathroom, to check it out more, I glanced over at Connor with what appeared to be a driver’s license in his hand. “The driver's license is fake.” He determined.

“Cool!” Hank called sarcastically. “At least we didn't come for nothing...”

As I stepped into the bathroom, I took notice of the sink. It seemed to be filled with a strange concoction of indistinguishable contents, and a flat disc-like object sitting on the side of the sink with some blue smudges on it. 

“Real books.” I heard Hank say from the main room. “I thought I was the last guy in Detroit to keep some. Electronic books you can't...smell the paper...see the pages turning yellow...” I could imagine Hank scoffing. “You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Connor might not, but I definitely still have a bunch of books. Mostly paperbacks, but there is one series I went through the effort of getting completely in hardcover just because they were so nicely made.” I smiled, remembering my rather expansive book collection I had at home. “And I’d have to say, I’m inclined to agree with you, Hank. It’s why I never got a Kobo or a Kindle.” I carefully picked  up the small object and examined it, and when I turned it over, I realized it looked exactly like an android’s LED. “Hey Connor? I think there’s something in the sink. You need to check this out!” I called out.

As Connor stepped in close to me, I held up the glowing circle for him to see. His eyes narrowed as he examined it. “Its LED.” He confirmed. 

I put it back on the sink where I found it, and when I looked at Connor again, he was retracting his hand from the sink and putting his fingers in his mouth. I sort of looked at him in shock, feeling my stomach wretch a little. “What the fuck are you doing?” I asked, not antagonistically, but I was definitely weirded out.

“Ah, Jesus. Did he put something in his damn mouth again?!” Hank called from the main room.

“He’s done this before?!” I called back in dumbfounded shock.

“I suppose the lieutenant didn’t inform you.” Connor said in his typical informative tone despite the sheer absurdity of this situation that was clearly escaping him. “I’m able to check samples in real time to analyze blood. I hope it wasn’t too unpleasant for you, Rachel.”

I kinda squinted at him before speaking. “I have to assume that you were designed that way on purpose.” I said as I turned towards Hank. “Like, somebody at CyberLife’s drawing room was like ‘hey, you know what would be funny?’ And then they did it! I’m convinced that that’s exactly how it happened!”

Hank then began approaching the bathroom. “Wouldn’t surprise me, to be honest.” Hank said, his arms folded impatiently. “Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of shit at CyberLife got decided that way.”

“Yeah, me neither.” I agreed, remembering a certain drawer of equipment I’ve got at home.

Connor remained quiet as he examined the wall to the left, a detail I had only just noticed. But there was one thing scrawled on the wall several times almost obsessively. “‘rA9?’” I read. That’s what Micheal was talking about when Connor was interrogating him last night.

A grim reminder that I needed to get Micheal away from the proverbial guillotine.

Hank stepped into the bathroom to have a look at it as well. “Any idea what it means?”

“‘rA9.’” Connor repeated. “Written 2471 times...It's the same sign Ortiz's android wrote on the shower wall.”

I tilted my head at Connor. “Ortiz?” I echoed.

“The guy that android you fixed up belonged to.” Hank clarified.  

Connor’s brows were furrowed in frustration. “Why are they obsessed with this sign?”

Hank stepped in to take a closer look, his expression focused and searching. “Looks like mazes or something...”

As Hank left the room, I focused on the runes on the wall. I repeated it in my head. rA9. Why does that ring a bell? I glanced over at Connor, his jacket’s text glowing in the darkness of the abandoned dank apartment washroom. RK800.

I then got an idea. “Connor, are you able to access the CyberLife database for all known android model series’?” I asked him.

Connor looked over at me, his cowlicked eyebrow raised curiously. “Yes, why?”

“I need you to see if rA9 corresponds to any known androids, previous and current.” I instructed him.

From outside the room, I heard Hank snort. “What, you think that there’s some sort of secret android mastermind behind all this?”

“I don’t know.” I admitted. “It’s just a hunch. But discovering the identity of rA9 could unveil the difference between a potential organization, or something else entirely.”

After a short while, Connor turned to me. “I can’t find anything that matches it.” He admitted. “But something about it does strike me as an identification number that’s similar to an android’s model number.”

“So, what?” I asked. “Do you think it could be an alias? Or maybe something more spontaneous?”

He looked down to the ground. “I don’t know...” I could hear the brief frustrated defeat in his quiet voice.

He then knelt down to a stool that appeared to be knocked over and began examining it, me peering over his shoulder curiously. “What is it?” I asked.

“I’m reconstructing.” Connor replied curtly. He then got up and left the bathroom, me following along eagerly, kind of excited to see how his method worked. As he left the room, he then knelt down by the bird cage I pointed out earlier. I took a peek at his LED indicator, and it was spinning yellow. I started to really enjoy seeing it turn that colour. It meant he was thinking, processing, analyzing, and taking in information. It meant that something was occupying his mind.

He then got up, his gaze turned towards another knocked down stool, and began walking purposefully towards it. I saw where he was headed, and I had my hand on my holster, ready to draw my weapon if I needed to react quickly, taking note of all the possible exits and covers in the room.

The android peered up into a hole in the ceiling tiling for a moment, and the air was unbearably still, sans the constant cooing of the pigeons surrounding us. But even that became white noise after enough time in this environment.

Suddenly, there was a drop and a flurry of wings, and I was even knocked back in shock when Connor hit the floor. “God damn fuckin' pigeons!” Hank shouted at the cloud of feathers that suddenly surrounded him as the deviant made his escape. Connor got up, and I had already rolled over and scrambled to my feet, rushing to dart out the door. “What are you waiting for?! Chase it!” Hank’s shouts echoed behind me as I was already pursuing the android, Connor’s brisk footsteps catching up behind me as I made haste.

I locked eyes on my target, focusing entirely on running him down. Whatever obstacles he jumped, I jumped. I picked up a few tricks throughout my life, and I was neither easily shaken nor pursued. I became extremely adept at avoiding obstacles in a high-speed chase. You could thank my shitty childhood for that.

Realizing that most of my surroundings were rooftop farmlands, I became overtly aware of the farming equipment and vehicles that surrounded me. The deviant was quick, that was for certain, but I was determined.

Through wheat fields, I climbed up dangerous slopes in pursuit with ease, sheer adrenaline and oxygen coursing through my veins as I had to take deep breaths to keep myself going. Unfortunately I was not a particularly athletic person and I knew that my physical limits were, well, limited. So like a cheetah, every second of this chase needed to count.

Running past rooftop buildings, I became aware of Connor gaining behind me as we pursued the deviant. I saw him disappear over a ledge, but saw the reflection of a window. Hopping over the ledge, I slid down the window, Connor next to me, and I hopped into the next building, an opening in its glass available. 

I landed with a somersault and quickly resumed my chase, Connor landing closely behind me. This seemed to be a very different building, one that studied plants. We were getting pretty close until the industrial garage door closed on us, and we had to detour to the right through an open one. “Shit, he’s pretty quick!” I grunted in the heat of the chase.

After turning the corner, we were hit with a sea of lavender. Connor was now gaining the upper hand, and I had to follow him to tell where the deviant was going, beginning to quickly lose sight of him amongst the chaos. After jumping up a particularly high ledge, I continued following until we got to another ledge and the only other way was sliding down more windows towards a moving train.

No way in Hell I was about to risk that. “Woah, fuuuuuuck that!” I yelled as I skidded to a stop as Connor proceeded to continue chasing the deviant. Desperately, I was looking for another way to get to them, perhaps even beat them. Then I saw it, one of those giant industrial cranes. Oh God, am I really about to fucking risk swinging on one of those death traps just to get across? I then looked down at the horror that was the moving train and shook my head. Guess I am, fuck it! 

Wasting no time, I started sliding down the window, angling myself towards it, until I prepared myself to land on the hook. I screamed as I swung far towards the other side, which I saw was covered in orchards. I swallowed my fear, and prepared to jump off, counting my blessings, before I practically launched myself off it, landing on my feet and performing a somersault to absorb the shock of the landing. “Holy shit, that was amazing! I’ve never done that before in my life!” I exclaimed as I scanned for movement and quickly found Connor in hot pursuit of the deviant and quickly followed suit, not wasting any time and not paying any mind to any of the other workers shouting at me.

Jumping off a ledge to the next set of farmwork, I saw Connor pursuing the deviant inside the greenhouse, and instead elected to jump up the scaffolding on the side of the entrance to chase them on top of the building, looking down on them below. From my vantage point, I could see that Connor had some pretty damn good reflexes when it came to avoiding obstacles. But I couldn’t help that smug feeling that insisted that I was definitely better than him, even though I had no real logical reason to believe it.

Seeing the deviant bank hard to the right, I followed suit, leaping down and somersaulting again upon landing to once again absorb the shock, but I could feel my ankles starting to buckle in shooting pain. But I grit my teeth and kept going, following Connor as he almost shot past me.

Pushing through probably hundreds of stalks of corn, I heard Hank’s voice calling out from up ahead. Can’t run now, buddy! But as soon as we broke free from the corn field, I felt my heart stop as I saw Hank get hurled off the building. “HANK!” I screamed. Connor was thankfully faster than me and wasted no time helping the lieutenant up. Taking that as my cue to continue the pursuit without them, I banked hard to the left. “DON’T WORRY, I’M WAY AHEAD OF YOU!” I shouted at them as I continued chasing the deviant, starting to feel myself reaching my limits. But like fuck I was gonna give up that easy!

Jumping off the ledge and somersaulting into the next fields, which I was guessing was rice given the excess water, I followed the deviant in hot pursuit. Options were dwindling, and there was nowhere left to turn. There was only ahead. And I had a feeling that ahead was a dead end, and I was only moments away from cornering the deviant.

And sure enough, I was right. There was only below, and to the left, but the deviant was practically cornered when I reached him.

Except that I was exhausted, and my breaths needed to catch up to me while my ankles were practically screaming at me in pain. That somersaulting technique was definitely not completely flawless, but I’d be a lot worse off without it. “No more running, dude...” I gasped, keeling over and resting both my hands on my knees as I kept heaving. “Seriously, no more running...that was so much more exercise than I’ve had to do in a longass fucking time...holy shit...”

I looked up at the deviant, and he seemed a bit thrown off by me. But he lifted his hands in a defensive gesture as he looked at me with pleading brown eyes. “Please, I’ve done nothing wrong...” He begged. “I just wanted to be free. If you turn me in...”

“You’ll be destroyed...” I answered for him, still huffing. “Believe me, I know...I’m currently...trying to get someone else...off that chopping block...”

He took a step to the left. “Then please let me go...” He almost whimpered. “Let me go free.”

I took a good look at him. After the thrill of the chase had died down, some things were starting to nag at me. He wasn’t violent. There wasn’t even a case of him attacking or threatening a human. He was just living alone in an abandoned apartment that no one was living in just wanting to take care of the fucking pigeons. The only reason we even knew about him was someone saw an LED under his hat, otherwise he wouldn’t have even been noticed. This is wrong. I thought. He doesn’t deserve to die. He didn’t do anything wrong. 

Closing my eyes and turning my head away, I hoped was a good enough answer for him. And apparently it was, because all I heard was the shuffling of clothes and the sounds of footprints before I opened my eyes to nothing in front of me. “SHIT!” I shouted, kicking the ledge, still breathing heavily. I saw Connor and Hank approaching me, and I had to pretty much sit down. “Fuck...God damn it...”

“What the fuck happened, Rachel?!” Hank demanded exasperatedly. “I thought you had it!”

“I did...” I said with a gasp and then a gulp. “I had him...I had him right here...but then he got away...I had him...and then I lost him...I'm sorry...”

Connor was quiet for a moment before he responded. “It's alright, Rachel.” He said reassuringly. “You did your very best given the circumstances. I understand that.”

“Exactly.” Hank said, reaching forward to help me up to my feet, letting me lean my weight on him. “We know what it looks like. We'll find it.”

Connor did as Hank was doing on my other side, and I sort of chuckled at them. “Guys, I’m winded...not injured.” I breathed, starting to catch my breath. “I don’t need to be carried to the car.”

“Perhaps, but I’ve detected low level damages to your anterior inferior tibiofibular ligaments.” Connor pointed out, clearly having run a quick vitals check on me. “It will heal with a few hours of rest, but I’d strongly recommend against strenuous activities until then.”

“Yada yada, Jesus Christ.” Hank groaned. “Just talk like a normal fucking person, for Christ’s sake.”

“He’s talking about my ankles, Hank.” I informed him. “And like I said, I don’t need to be carried to the car.”

“At least let us get you up over the ledges and we can walk there.” Hank compromised.

I saw that as an acceptable answer, as my ankles really did hurt. Not unbearably, but I’d rather not push them if I could help it. “Alright, fine. But just up the ledges.”

It took a decent amount of time, but eventually we made our way back to where Hank was pushed. Taking a moment to breathe, I realized something kinda crucial. “Hey, um...how the fuck are we gonna be able to make it back to the car?” I asked, realizing that not only did we stray really far but that we jumped over and across who knows how much crazy shit to get here.

“I can lead us on the easiest and quickest route back to the apartment.” Connor offered. “I estimate it will take approximately twenty minutes to half an hour to make our way back.”

“We can go through here.” Hank offered, opening the door I figured he came through to get here. “Hey, Connor.” Hank called towards the android. He turned his head in the lieutenant’s direction, his dark brown eyes expectant. But Hank just waved his hand and started walking through. “...Nothing.”

I smiled and gently elbowed Connor. “Awww, I think he’s actually starting to like you, Connor.” I teased, but I did genuinely think that. Hank wasn’t exactly one to express his feelings openly. He definitely didn’t express them as openly as I did, lord knows I can never keep my fucking mouth shut. But I sort of learned to read him after a while.

“I hope so.” Connor said innocently. There was something about how earnestly that came out that made me smile even more.

As we followed behind Hank, I gently brushed Connor’s shoulder. “Hey, Connor?”

He looked at me square in the face. “Yes, Rachel?”

I smiled at him, my eyes darting between him and the ground. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Of course.” He said simply. “We’re partners, after all.”

I scoffed at him. “Well, not officially.” I reminded him. “This was a one day sort of deal, but after that, I should probably take on other cases. I was just extra help.” I gave him a genuine smile. “But it was nice meeting you. And I really enjoyed working with you and getting to know you.”

Connor’s LED flickered for a moment, and I could’ve sworn it was a red colour. It was only for barely a split second, but still. Did I imagine that? “Likewise.” He replied with a subtle smile, or at least as much as he could portray given his nature. Connor then went silent, his LED spinning yellow, and I figured he was calculating routes and took that as my cue to catch up to the tired lieutenant. “Hey, Hank? Can you do me a favour?”

“I can’t dogsit Bear, not with this case.” He immediately refused defensively.

I laughed a bit. “No, it’s not that.” I amended. “I was gonna ask if you could just let Connor know that I have some errands I need to run on my way home and that I’m going to be about a half hour late.”

Hank sort of blinked a couple times and looked down at me. “And why does he need to know that?” He asked.

A fair question, I realized, so I played it cool. “He wanted to talk, so I invited him over to my place after work.”

Hank narrowed his piercing eyes at me. “You’re not trying to get in his fancy robo-pants, are you?”

“No!” I said, punching him in the shoulder. “I’m not about that. Not with androids, at least.” I denied adamantly. “I just figured that was a better environment to...explain things to him...that wasn’t the precinct or work-related at all.”

Hank let out a sigh and a nod. “Alright, fine. I’ll let him know.” He agreed.

“Thank you!” I huffed appreciatively. “You’re the best.”

“Nah.” Hank replied.

“Yes you are, no take-backs.” I insisted. “I don’t make the rules.”

“Fine, then that makes you second rate.” Hank flung back with. “You ain’t too far behind.”

I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. “And I’ll take that in stride.”

---------------------------------

Next Chapter

[lovebunnie]

fuck da rules anderperry headcanons lets go

neil doesnt tell todd his birthday because neil, due to his fathers abusive nature neil is uncomfortable with personal things and people getting to know him too well. todd eventually finds out and writes him a poem, leaving it on his pillow and promising not to tell anyone

todd birthday is sacred as they always throw a deskset at night, and neil makes it his mission to tell as many people as possible that its todds birthday so everyone will know and tell him happy birthday

todd first falls in love with neil from the moment they enter their room, and sees how he interacts with others and stands up fro him immediately despite knowing nothing about him

neil first falls in love with todd after hearing the madman poem, literally sitting in the middle of class and realizing hes completely in love

todd is new to emotions such as this, one who tends to stay away from others. hes known he is gay from seeing attractive men in advertisements and such, but has never personally had a crush on another person

neil tends to fall a bit in love with many people being the romantic that he is. however with todd, his feelings go alot deeper than just infatuation; this is the first time neils heart has stopped at the sight of todd and he cant breathe when hes around him

knox realizes it first, being the only one with ‘’romantic’’ experiences. he knows the look of longing they exchange from his own. he keeps it to himself, knowing its not his place to barge in

neil seeks todd out throughout the days and asks him to help with the acting, while todd is visibly more relaxed when neil is around

their first kiss is right before the play, in the dark of the backstage and surrounded with the sounds of thier future. todd deciding hes done hiding and hes done pretending

it takes .76 seconds for neil to kiss him back

the confidence stays with neil until hes dragged back home, finally standing up to his father. they spat and neil is sent back to welton under strict supervision and no more acting

todd writes neil little plays to satisfy his acting cravings, and the poets all go to the cave to watch neil perform todds plays

its unspoken that neil and todd are together until charlie suddenly says ‘so how long have u two been together’

they go back to their room, and neil confesses first, breaking as soon as the door is closed because he knows he wont live anymore without todd knowing the truth, the complete and honest truth

he says that hes been in love with todd for a long time

“you make life easier. you give me a reason to wake up and you give me a future. im in love with the way you write and the way you look at me”

todd, being harder with words than neil, simply shows him all the poems and letters and journal entries that hes written about neil and his love for him.

“im in love and it terrifies and excites me. i dont know whats to come, but with him, whatever happens, i think, will be okay. god must exist if he put me in the same life with neil perry”

neil is very unused to love and comfort with other people after being raised by abusive parents, so he basically collapses and hugs todd until he aches

after their confessions, they take things slowly, both uncomfortable with displays of affection in front of others. simple and easy things like hugs and cheeks kisses and holding hands

when they graduate, they both move to new york city to finally live their dreams. they keep in contact with the poets regularly

the first person who gets an invitation to their wedding down the road is keating

they tell each other they love each other every single day, even if they are fighting or across the country. just so they never forget. not that they would, but just in case they need reminding. that little boost. theres love in the world and it exists between them

hnn neil perry and todd anderson arent soul mates, the universe isnt nearly that forgiving. they found each other; nothing is making them be together, no promise or soulmate. they simply are in love with one another

(gay)

[thebeatgossip-blog]

Here’s what you missed [THIS MONTH] on @thebeatapp. Please keep in mind that this is now PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE as stated on the recap submission guildelines. Don’t see your recap here? Be sure to submit your recap next week!

Look out Raelynn, boy’s coming fo’yo crown.

It looks like Raelynn Rose @raelynnrose and Cameron Anderson @camderson are in good company, meaning they both love fucking. However, it seems like Cameron’s trying to steal Raelynn’s title as the slut of Mckinley U. He’s been in and out of Kurt Hummel’s @porcelainsongbirdbed and we have reason to believe he’s been in a few others.

Yikes!

After Ezekiel Wilde @ezekielpwilde changed his relationship status to “Courting Hope Crawford,” Hope @hopexcrawford saw it and could not be bothered to change her status in any way. Boy, bye. She later met up with Ezekiel to discuss things, presumably the fact that he thinks that courting is the equivalent of being in a relationship. Finally, she went on a picnic date with him.

Will they, won’t they?

Deciding he didn’t feel like participating in the shenanigans of Noah Puckerman’s @thepuckerbro party, Sam Evans @bodyrollenthusiaststayed in his room and was later joined by Raelynn Rose. Who the hell knows what happened there? Later in the week, he picked her up from the bar and took her home, but refused to sleep in the same bed as her - uh oh, trouble in paradise? What’s the matter Sammy? 

Also, BREAKING NEWS: Sam has a new beau – only no one knows who the hell it is. It’s your cliche mystery man. Who do y’all think it is? He blew out his birthday candles this week as well – Happy twenty-third birthday, Sammy. Give your boyfriend a kiss for us - if he’s even real?

Our condolences.

Anthony Hummel @anthonyhummel visited his mother’s grave - we’re sending our love to you, buddy. At least he’s got Clementine Rose @nottaclementine to keep him steady on his feet.

His brother’s keeper?

Blaine Anderson @sailingwarbler spent some time on a boat with Sam Evans where the two discussed Sam’s Weekend at Bernie’s fantasy. Basically, he wants to reenact the film upon his death. Blaine promised to help him fulfill his dying wish. Can you say friendship goals? He also spent some time with Kurt Hummel - this sounds familiar. Wasn’t another Anderson just barking up the Hummel tree? #Messy!

McKinley’s Sweetheart

June Fletcher @junexxfletcher helped Ezekiel Wilde remove the graffiti that the Wilde’s nephew left on the walls. A budding vandal in our midst - lovely! The girl also moved house, which is a big deal in any young adult’s life. Later on, she hangs out with Maxim McCarthy @fckngmaxim so he can vent to her about his angsty life.

The other Rose.

Clementine Rose spent most of her time fawning over Anthony Hummel who made it pretty clear he wasn’t interested in her, but her hurt didn’t seem to last long because she was spotted out with Beckett Wilde @gonebeckwilde shortly after.

Podd.

Well let’s hear it for the weirdest ship name ever. And the most surprising couple. Puck and Todd @toddravensdale spent some quality time together this week of the clothes off/dicks out variety. Honestly, we’re still not sure what to make of this…hopefully they were safe?

An Anderson by any other name…

We get it, Kurt they’re hot. But did you really have to fuck every Anderson in town? Or was this a case of mistaken identity? Maybe he just thought Cam was Blaine...or visa-verse. Good luck getting out of that six foot hole.

Overshadowed?

We were so busy drooling over the Smythe triplets that we missed the talent that is their baby sister Alex @accordingtoalexx, spotted performing at a local open mic, she blew us away with her skill. We can’t wait to see her come out of her shell!

Fucking Maxim.

They’re at it again. It’s like their back together, bickering like an old married couple. It’d almost be sweet if it wasn’t so tacky. Maxim and Raelynn breaking out into a vicious fight via social media that lasted well into the night. Can you say unresolved issues?

We caught up with Maxim later when he broke down while spending time with June. Poor girl seems to be nothing more than a clean up crew for the campus messes™.

The actual worst

We know you already know. Raelynn Rose quite the busy little girl these days, but much to our surprise a shocking number of her evenings were spent in Samuel Evans’ bed. What exactly is going on with that? Then again, we’re sure she’s used to spending nights in beds that aren’t hers. After an embarrassing public fight with her ex, Maxim she went on a date with the guy her ex is fucking, Joseph Smythe. Work it girl, the revolving door of one night stands looks good on you.

McDonalds and Chill?

Apparently it’s the lastest trend. At least according to Maxim and our favorite Smythe, Joseph @tbhjoseph. And how coincidental that Joe is also meeting up with (dating?) Raelynn - Maxim ex. Then again, who isn’t fucking one or the other have of that failed ship?

Damsel in distress

How odd that when Anastasia Clarington @anastasiaclarington for herself in trouble her first call wasn’t hope to that hunk of a brother. No. She called, Ezekiel Wilde of all people to come to her rescue, and to her rescue he did come. We wonder how Hope feels about this? Do we smell trouble in ‘paradise’ already? Thankfully Ana was left unscathed by the incident.

Out of touch?

Ezekiel surprised exactly no one when he jumped the gun and updated his relationship status, poor Hope. He continued to stir the pot when he was spotting in the middle of a bar brawl and then in several online feuds fuelled by his strong convictions. To bad the Bible doesn’t have a chapter on social media etiquette in the modern world.

[first-and-ten]

2017 Week 2 Recap

A happy week for the Broncos. I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed a single division looking as dominant as the AFC West so far. I did some catching up this week, predictions-wise, and things returned a bit to normal.

Teams that need Kaepernick: Bengals, Colts, Jaguars, Jets, Vikings, Bears, Giants, Cardinals, 49ers

Hot seats: Marvin Lewis, Chuck Pagano, Bill O’Brien, Todd Bowles, John Fox, Sean Payton, Ben McAdoo

Teams on Bye: None, like a NORMAL SEASON.

HOU 13 - 9 CIN [L] Game ball: DeShaun Watson Another Thursday snooze fest. This one got Cincy’s O-Coordinator fired, so that’s nice. The only play worth seeing was Watson’s scrambling touchdown. He was the only player to sniff the end zone in a game played on his birthday, en route to a win in his first start. That sounds pretty cool.

BUF 3 - 9 CAR [L] Game ball: Cam Newton I was SO CLOSE, folks! If Zay Jones pulls in that pass on the one yard line on fourth down in the waning moments, I would look super smart right now. Of course it would help if Tyrod Taylor hadn’t thrown it high. I personally like games with no TDs but I know a lot of people hate them. Carolina gets a pyrrhic victory as they lose Greg Olsen. They’re the least legit 2-0 team.

CHI 7 - 29 TB [W] Game ball: Mike Evans LOL, how’s that return to Tampa going, Mike Glennon? (Answer: he threw two interceptions and got his team into a hole they could never hope to climb out of, potentially putting a rush on his inevitable benching for Mitch “Call Me Mitchell” Trubisky.)

CLE 10 - 24 BAL [W] Game ball: Javorius Allen The Ravens have generated as many turnovers as they’ve allowed points this season. That’s... Fucking insane. The Browns sure got a scare when DeShone Kizer had to leave the game and [insert journeyman incompetent backup here] came in to throw the team’s only touchdown of the game. Kizer had migraines, which is not a great harbinger for Cleveland. Then Cory Coleman broke his hand (again), so yeah, still the Browns.

MIN 9 - 26 PIT [W] Game ball: Martavis Bryant This is exactly what I’ve been talking about in terms of people overreacting to the Steelers offense: they are taking turns carrying the load, not all exploding at once all the time.  The Vikings have got to feel crushed about Sam Bradford, because if he was playing in this game the way he played week 1, they could have won in Pittsburgh.

NE 36 - 20 NO [W] Game ball: Tom Brady Brady had his best first quarter ever somehow, and the Saints could never recover. It was already over. I think the Patriots knew that for the sake of team confidence, they needed to put it out of reach early. It was all too easy against the Saints defense.  Gronk injured his groin after scoring his 69th receiving touchdown. He probably said “nice” afterward. He’ll spend the next month and a half as “questionable” but still playing games and then suddenly be placed on IR.

ARI 16 - 13 IND OT [W] Game ball: Tyrann Mathieu I can’t believe the Cards almost gave this one up, and I can’t believe Jacob Brisket actually did. 

PHI 20 - 27 KC [W] Game ball: Travis Kelce The Eagles can feel good about this game, but they should worry about how terrible their run game is. Also how many drops they’re still seeing. They loaded up the offense and still all they have is Carson Wentz Favreing it out there. How about that weird sequence of events before the half, though? Also, Kareem Hunt is legit and I am grumpy about it.

TEN 37 - 16 JAX [W] Game ball: Derek Henry This is what I’m talking about: the game was close late, but the Titans kept punching and the Jags ran out of gas. As a Derrick Henry fantasy owner, please can we see more of this?

MIA 19 - 17 LAC [W] Game ball: Jay Cutler Jay Ajayi carried the Dolphins offense, but Cutler gets the game ball because all eyes were on him and he didn’t fall on his face. The Chargers should have had this one in hand but they let the Dolphins hang around. In the end, LA made choices that didn’t exactly help their young kicker, who ended up missing a long attempt as time ran out for the second straight week. Please do not blame Yunghoe Koo for either loss.  All four AFC West teams hosted games this weekend, yet only two of them played on actual football fields. Bizarre. The Chargers failed to fill all 12 seats in the soccer joint they currently inhabit, so that’s going well. Probably a pretty cool fan experience though.

NYJ 20 - 45 OAK [W] Game ball: Michael Crabtree New York once again sputters. The Raiders ran them ragged, with Marshawn Lynch having himself a day and then dancing about it on the sideline. Cordarelle Patterson had a 49-yard untouched rushing touchdown, so, yeah, the Jets are bad. And, again, can this division not have a real field?

DAL 17 - 42 DEN [L] Game ball: CJ Anderson There are so many people who could get this game ball, but I’m giving it to the guy who makes the biggest difference on the Broncos. Zeke Elliott was held to 0.9 yards per carry. Dak threw 33% of his career INTs in this game. Von Miller affected 24 passing plays. Trevor Siemian threw 4 touchdowns. The Broncos have started 2-0 for the 5th consecutive season. Aqib Talib passed Primetime for 4th all time in pick-returns on a 103-yarder. Talib, Harris, and Roby made a clown of Dez all game. This was beautiful, but take it for what it is: we managed to shut down the run, and everything came from there. We forced the Cowboys to be a one-dimensional passing team against the league’s best pass rush, throwing into the league’s best secondary, in one of the league’s toughest environments. We won’t always be able to get teams into this position. Trevor Siemian still threw some should-have-been-interceptions, and took some silly sacks. Brandon McManus would appear to be enjoying the fact that he is not longer the only one on the team able to score by losing his ability to reliably kick long field goals. Soak up one of the funnest games I’ve seen in a long time, and get ready to see how the Broncos deal with playing on the road against a good defense that’s not missing its top 3 DBs.

SF 9 - 12 SEA [W] Game ball: Chris Carson Another gross game for the Seahawks offense. But this is what the Seahawks do: they look like shit for a month and then waltz to 11-5. I wish they would stop, but here we are. Everyone saying the Seahawks backfield will be unpredictable and you should avoid them in Fantasy were SO RIGHT. Ugh.

WSH 27 - 20 LAR [L] Game ball: Chris Thompson I would give the game ball to the linebacker who picked off Jared Goff when he had a chance to go tie the game in the last two minutes, but honestly, Goff telegraphed that throw so bad that I could have made that move. Not a great game for either team, but honestly both should be encouraged by the results: Washington won on a cross-country trip against a top-notch defense, and the Rams played another competent game.

GB 23 - 34 ATL [L] Game ball: Devonta Freeman I knew long before the half that the Packers had dug too deep a hole. Injuries all over the o-line, defense, and to both Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb all made this an uphill battle, but honestly the Packers were outmatched from the start. Yeah, it was ideal conditions for Atlanta, but they looked like their 2016 selves. Green Bay has found a running game but they still have deep issues. It’s gotta be worrisome that they still can’t get past the Falcons, if that’s still the case in January it won’t be fun.

DET 24 - 10 NYG [W] Game ball: Jamal Agnew Agnew’s punt return in the beginning of the fourth quarter put the game out of reach, but Giants ineptitude and an efficient offense that’s found some balance between Matt Stafford and Ameer Abdullah already had this one decided. 

Record this week: 11-5 Record this season: 18-13 Locks record: 6-1 (Survivors used: ATL, SEA) Upsets record: 3-6 2014 pace: 17-15 Pickwatch leader: 25-6 (Jack Jorgensen, Fansided)

NFL Title Belt: WSH (Won from LAR)

DSA candidates: KC, ATL, BAL, PIT, DET, OAK, CAR, MIA, TB, DEN

MMA candidates: NYG, CHI, CIN, CLE, IND, SF, NYG, LAC

The Room Where It Happens: N/A

Fallen Tributes: N/A

FANTASY CORNER

Danger Squirrels 149 - 123 Team Toomey [W, 1-1]

Thank goodness for Drew Brees garbage time points. Jordy and Greg Olsen both got injured, which is terrible, but my opponent left some serious points on the bench. I need to find a replacement for Olsen, remember to keep Ty Montgomery in my lineup, and keep an eye on Derrick Henry. Siemian the Finals 159.39 - 133.72 Wee Baby Victors [W, 2-0]

My deficiencies are starting to show. I’m worried about Jimmy Graham and Ted Ginn. Rawls needs to be replaced (I guess with Duke Johnson?) and I need to evaluate carefully the benefits of my QBs each week. My opponent was definitely AFK this week, starting two platers on IR, but when I’m up against real competition I could start losing when I miss my projections.