#WEEPING Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[thisismykirk6monthsont]

MOTHERFUCKER

[meitanteisachi]

just finished watching the JDrama We Made A Beautiful Bouquet and I just.

kdfjgksjfhsjkgh.

if this movie isn't made for me idk what is because what the fuck. what the fuck. hats off, filed under jdrama to bury deep into my memory, movie to etch onto my soul because when was the last time i felt things wtf. and it's so simple, so straightforward, so real. not to mention japan last train and pedestrian crossing and late night walks and stoplights and polaroid aesthetic. i swear this movie is everything sachi coded. every! freaking. thing. resonates with. me! ! ! this is a love story by the way. one of my most favorite jdrama/film now my eyes hurt from crying my heart hurts from hurting it's the perfect way to kill me slowly i am a cat that had 2 souls leave thy body. it's the parallels for me. the start and end parallels. ended. me. good.

if anyone's curious or a masochist who likes soulmates and we are meant to meet in this lifetime trope and sappy wholesome dramatic simple realistic painful bittersweet happy endings u can watch the trailer here lemme share the blessing

[the-sand-guardian]

Whumptober Day 9: Obsession

A continuation of day 6

Another week had passed with this strange new Mariana. Charlie had begun to tiptoe around the house, crossing his fingers and hoping to god his wife wouldn’t find him. He knew this was just wishful thinking. She always found him. He probably could have wound up on the opposite side of the island, turned, and seen Mariana trailing right behind him. Mariana’s arms began to feel more like a cage than the loving (or hateful, depending on the day) embrace he was used to. 

Mariana still went to the kitchen every night, but Charlie had decided not to follow her anymore. That’s what was best, he figured, since she clearly didn’t want to be observed. Instead, he’d lay on his back and stare up at the ceiling, just wondering what had gone wrong. It was bad enough that his bitch wife had died, but now he was beginning to think that having him back was even worse. 

The first few days of constant affection hadn’t been bad, but now they left a bitter taste on his tongue. He missed his Mariana, goddamnit. Sure, this one was loving all the time, but that almost took the fun out of being married to Charlie. If you weren’t divorced for 30% of your marriage, you weren’t doing it right. From constant kissing to being latched together like a fly to a spider’s web, Charlie was beginning to feel as scared and hopeless as that fly. 

Maybe he wouldn’t have minded the closeness so much if Mariana looked even a bit like he was in love with Charlie. As of now, she most often had a distant and wide-eyed look at everything instead of that gentle and sweet glare Charlie himself had fallen for. His pupils were dilated all the time, or at least they were every time he looked at Charlie. 

Charlie had almost become the sole caretaker of Flippa, too. Mariana spent most of his time with his arms wrapped tightly around Charlie’s waist while he was left to try and help with homework or get dinner done, seeing as Mariana had stopped cooking, too. Charlie had never missed Mariana’s cooking this much when he was dead, but now having this shoddy replacement around was a horrible reminder of the marriage and divorce he’d had. 

He’d finally been able to break away from Mariana, even securing ten whole minutes to himself- the longest break he’d get until her strange midnight spells. As much as it pained him, he knew he preferred his wife dead to the person he was living with now. He locked the door behind him, knowing that Mariana was waiting just on the other side of it, and turned on the water to the shower. After a moment, he got in and sat down in their bathtub, half wishing to drown himself just to get out of the mess he was in. Instead, he lowered his head into his hands and began to weep.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Thank you for reading! I've also posted this to Ao3, where I'll be cataloguing all of my works for this month! I also have 3 other WIP fics, so if you enjoy my works please go show some love over there or feel free to shoot me an ask!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59367106/chapters/152095096

[snarwor]

Hey! It's so good to see you on my dash again! I missed seeing you and hearing about Star Wars and also just the rest of the things you have to say! My tumblr experience is brighter for having you in it.

(No fr like, last week I went "wait didn't snarwor exist? What happened to her? Did she block me? Where she go?" So super genuinely it's sick that you're back)

(Sorry about your ex and the mess she left you, I am sending her whatever level of hatred you're comfortable with from all the way across the way)

(You can do this I believe in you)

HI I'M GENUINELY WEEPING ON THE FLOOR BABE

Yeah there were a lot of things that have happened in the last.... year and a half? idk. but in addition to the divorce and all this upheaval i've finally gotten to see a therapist who helped me process lots of my trauma (but not all) and i've got a much more level head on my shoulders bc of it.

i LOVED the acolyte and i am def in the oshamir pit rn (the fic i'm writing) but i've also gotten into sandman pretty hardcore. sandman is one of those "you never walk in the same garden twice" things like lord of the rings, like Star Wars, like all those wonderful things. i also got really into legend of zelda, (briefly) baldur's gate 3, and my nail polish collection is. certainly huge. during the olympics these last several weeks i did write a very fast and unhinged torchbearer/flagbearer thing and i'm proud of it esp since they came back for the closing ceremonies (they touched pole guys)

the good news is that i won't be stuck in the mud (texas, my marriage, etc) for long. other good news is i'm taking the cats goddamnit. the ex can take the car and leave me fucking stranded here but i have the cats.

EVENTUALLY i'll update that Tusken lore document to include BOBF stuff (notably the Tusken sign language parts) and a little more information about the jezail inspired cycler rifles.

oh also i got some tattoos (to cover up tattoos i got for ex and ex friends) and one of them is the razor crest!!! mando's og sweet girl.

thank you so much for this message, it warms my heart. divorce, especially ones that come from infidelity, is an especially lonely and isolating thing. to the greater y'all: if u know someone who initiated a divorce, please check in on them.

[thelordofgifs]

For the Writer Ask Game: 👀- favorite response to one of your works

(writer ask game)

I worked so hard on part 20 of tfs (which wraps up the second arc) and it really paid off. I can't even pick one set of tags, have them all:

#fuck i'm in tears now...#he asked him to stay! and he stayed!#i'm too emotional...

#screaming crying punching the air

#fuck! none of them have every thought anything through ever! none of them value their own lives!

#third time reading it today. still not over it. goddAMNIT CURUFIN

#HE ASKED HIM TO STAY#to say I was WEEPING#WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT#oh this part was such a ride#I can't believe himring fell! The fact mae built in a switch to destroy it!#ahhhhhhhhhh#And CURVO WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING#WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU UP TO#OH NO OH NO OH NO#WHY ARE FEANORIANS SO STUPIDLY SELF SACRIFICIAL AND DRAMATIC

#ahhhhhhh#they all need therapy!#this is an excellent arc ending it's very dramatic#where has curufin gone?#will he ever come back?#personally I'm betting he has gone to doriath#because I don't think thingol will kill him#if he sees how sad and pathetic he is in person

#HAVE WE CONSIDERED THAT MAYBE THE PLOT OF THE SILMARILLION IS DRIVEN BY LOVE#LOVE FOR A MOTHER LOST AND A FATHER SLAIN#LOVE FOR BROTHERS AND COUSINS UNDER SIEGE#LOVE FOR A DAUGHTER TO PRECIOUS TO LOSE; LOVE FOR A WOMAN TO BEAUTIFUL NOT TO TRY FOR;#LOVE FOR A FRIEND AND A FRIEND’S SON TOO GOOD TO GIVE UP ON NOW#LOVE TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN FOR AND LOVE TO CALL AN EAGLE FOR AND LOVE TO RIDE OUT INTO FLAME AND DEATH#LOVE TO DOOM A CITY FOR AND LOVE TO SAIL A SEA TO SAVE AND LOVE TO STAY AND SAIL THE SKIES FOREVER#/HAVE WE CONSIDERED/#I��m having. feelings. about this installment and the prior one.

#your preview cranked my expectations so high i was honestly a little worried#turns out the actual chapter clears the bar with miles to spare#(now i'm just worried about the alarmingly heroic-sacrifice-shaped dent in the narrative next to curufin's last known position)

#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#op that was a fucking ride#my heart is gonna leap out of my chest i loved it#the dialogue the feels the emotions the fact that no horses were harmed in the making of this fic#that entire last scene#CURVO WTF ARE YOU DOING#i'm sure its for (possibly) good reasons but still#bravo bravo bravo#this is gonna be all i think about for the rest of the week

I mean. look at these!! People are so so nice about this fic it makes me tear up. Sometimes you write something and you know it's genuinely very good and that people are going to love it, and then they do, and it still makes you beam to think about several months later <3 (also cackle. more rollercoasters ahead!)

[just-jordie-things]

Goddamnit, now why did you have to go and make me all sad with that new tbah chapter? *weeps* 😭😭😭😭

In all seriousness, tbah is beautiful and each new chapter solidifies what great writer you are. Reader’s realisation that they haven’t taken assignments for months and basically ignored other responsibilities hit me too close to home. It do be like that sometimes and that particular part just made me feel things. I’ve definitely been in that situation where months later I realised that I let things go and the feelings that come with it sometimes aren’t nice. Idk where I’m going with this, but yeah, that part for some reason affected me 😂

Also, the fight with Gojo, oh nooooo 🥲 I hope they make up in a really nice way because oh God no, that hurt.

Amazing update as always and I cannot wait until the next one! ❤️

i'm so glad you enjoyed it!! and tbh i really got carried away with the whole sneaking around for the fushiguro kids part and forgot that like she still has other responsibilities that would make the whole situation that much more complicated and stressful for her (if u haven't noticed, i am trying to break this woman :D) so what better than an assignment to make things interesting !!

i loved writing her fight with satoru. it was so awful for me. and kinda the first time you get a real good look at what he's been going thru and how he feels for her/is hurt by her.

the plot thiccens and i still have so much more to drop on these two to make their fictional little lives angsty </3

happy reading !!

[lucan-multiverse]

cosmic sidestep - their multiverse p8 (m/i interlude)

[Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4], [Part 5], [Part 6a], [Part 6b], [Part 7]

Mason skims his palm along the captain’s stomach, pleased to feel the flutter and grip of Isaac’s hole around him. He looks down and watches the way his hard, considerable length breaches his lover’s body – his captain has been a revelation with the needy, eager way he grabs at him, making the most perfect, breathy sounds, eyes rolling back in his head as Mason sinks deeper and deeper.

“You’re doing so well, Zac,” Mason croons softly, awed and amazed at Isaac's complete surrender. He’s so beautiful like this - skin flushed red under the smatter of grey hair mingled against the dark shady fuzz across his chest, his lips parted, the intense furrow between his brows just that little bit deeper. He's painfully human and all the more perfect because of it.

“Look how well you take me. Gods, you’re incredible like this." Mason kisses him. "Are you ready, baby? I want you so bad. Are you ready for me to pound you?”

Isaac hisses his answer through his teeth and joins it with an impatient heel at the small of Mason’s back, nudging him deeper. “Yes. Goddamnit. Get on with it.”

Mason can’t help the breathless laugh that falls out of him. He leans over, brushing his lips over the smiling quirk of Isaac’s mouth. He hadn’t meant for this to become a battle of wills. Isaac with his famous resolute paladin strength, Mason with his superhuman augmented body built to outlast – they’ve been wrestling for hours in the sheets, both of them determined to eek out every ounce of pleasure and exploration. Mason wasn’t sure why he ever doubted a phoenix could find their match with a human because so far, Isaac fits him like no one else ever had.

“I love you,” Mason says, settling over his captain, bracing himself on his forearms to bracket his head between his palms. In the low light of the cabin, Isaac’s skin almost looks silver. His eyes shine. “More than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone.” Mason rocks his hips, never breaking eye contact. “You make me want to do better. Be better. You make me feel like I have a home for the first time in forever.”

Mason strokes Isaac’s cheek, and brushes their noses as he rolls his hips again. Slow. Unhurried. Underneath him, Isaac makes another small, beautiful sound. It’s like music, a melody of love and unexpected passion - the very sounds of his pleasure and need.

The captain is starting to tremble now, sweat breaking out at his temples and leaking into the silver threads in his hair. Mason knows he’s so close to breaking him now, so close to seeing his bulwark shatter.

It might be a little unfair - Mason’s advantage is artificial but he still leans into it with everything he has. But with this man, his captain and the newfound love of his life, it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just is.

He steals another kiss and whispers against his lips. “But now I’m going to make you mine, Zac. All mine.”

All of Mason’s shored up patience snaps then and so do his hips. He pumps them hard, driving into Isaac and punching the air out of his lungs with each thrust, holding Isaac down with reinforced muscle around his back, burying his face into the side of Isaac’s neck, crowding over him, cradling him as he drives them both to the edge. Isaac’s hands scrabble at his back, searching for a hand hold to hold onto but he needn’t bother because Mason holds him tight.

“Mase… Mase, fuck. Mase-“

“I’ve got you, baby,” Mason grunts over his thrusts. Isaac’s weeping cock, hard and neglected, lies sandwiched between them and Mason weaves a hand between them in order to grasp it. Isaac jerks at the contact then moans and Mason knows he’s already so fucking close to the edge already.

“Don’t cum yet, baby.” Mason grips the base of Isaac’s cock and squeezes, halting any building climax.

Isaac half laughs, half whimpers. “You bastard,” he mutters without heat and Mason laughs into his chest as he nips lightly at Isaac’s dark nipple between thrusts. “You’ve been doing that all night-“

“When you cum, it’s going to be in my mouth,” Mason tells him firmly. “Not sprayed across your belly where I can’t enjoy it properly.”

Isaac curses again, in a language Mason doesn’t understand but he goes boneless under Mason on the sheets. Mason takes the advantage, shifting their position to throw the captain’s ankle over his shoulder. It sends him even deeper and he knows he’s not going to last much longer.

“I’m going to flood you,” he growls, the fire already inching up his spine. He’s already imagining filling his captain’s body with his essence and a part of him is savagely pleased to make this mark on him. He’s not the first lover Isaac’s had, but he’s the first to be inside him.

“Do it,” Isaac practically chants, short of breath from Mason’s insistent pumping. “Do it now.”

Mason closes his eyes. A few more deep thrusts, Isaac’s whimpering moans, and then Mason is cresting the wave and pouring into him. Filling him. Marking the captain in a way no one else ever has.

His, Mason thinks somewhere through the haze of intense pleasure it brings. Only mine.

He almost doesn’t want to pull out, but as he looks down at Isaac’s straining cock and flushed face, he doesn’t hesitate – drawing away with painful swiftness but savoring the surprised grunt Isaac makes. A small pearl of white tries to follow him but he uses a thumb to push it back inside in the heartbeat before he shifts and swoops to take Isaac’s cock into his throat and work him the few short pumps he needs for Isaac to finally allow his release.

It’s worth making him wait.

Isaac shouts, grips Mason’s head and almost chokes him with the force that hits the back of his throat – and for a phoenix with no gag reflex, it’s a considerable effort enough that Mason is proud. He savours Isaac’s salty taste, savours the pulse and shudder in his throat and all the blissed out sounds that reach his ears as Isaac grips his head and fucks his face like a bucking animal. It feels like he’s cumming forever and Mason’s entire body fills with fierce satisfaction.

Later, he holds a sleepy, exhausted and completely fucked out Isaac close and tells him again he loves him. Tells him he would follow him to the end of the galaxy, tells him he would build his life around him if Isaac would let him. Tells him he would die for him.

Somehow, it’s not quite enough. It’s all just words.

A thought hits him and he sits up, taking off the chain around his neck - black dogtags on a black chain. He doesn’t know why he kept these after severing ties with Cerberus, but something about them had made him refuse to give them up. When he dies, he wants his body identified. Somewhere, somehow in some log, it would show that he existed. That he lived. That he loved.

An odd tremor stole over his hands he couldn’t put down to the hours of lovemaking. Sensing something amiss, Isaac opens his eyes and sits up too. He looks at Mason, cupping the black chain in his palm and something steals into his expression that Mason can’t read. He surprises Mase, taking off the silver set around his own neck and holding it in his own palm.

“I want you with me too,” he says gruffly and without Mason even asking, he plucks off a tag and places it into Mason’s hand. “Now give me one of yours.”

Mason is quick to comply and Isaac pulls the chain back over his neck. Silver and black rests against his chest, right over his heart.

“Zac. I love you so fucking much,” Mason finally croaks, vision blurring as he traces a fingertip over the tags against the captain’s heart. He hasn’t cried in years. Didn’t know he still could, but it falls out of him now as he hauls Isaac close and holds him impossibly tight.

They’re bound now, and his heart will forever only beat for his captain and his captain alone.

[sw4tch]

listen HAHA i get IT universe, what a FUNNY joke

i asked to be revered and adored as I deserve and u sent me a poorly socialized guy that saw my POLITENESS and GENUINE GOODNESS as signs that I LIKED HIM ROMANTICALLY, and after i rejected him, he still KEPT AT IT bcus apparently he must have thought i changed my mind WHEN I KEPT ACTING EXACTLY THE SAME???? BCUS I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON????

and YOU the universe must be having a laugh like "ooohhh didnt u cry and beg for someone to love and care for you?? didnt you weep openly after not feeling cherished??? here's someone that Wants you, because he's the only one who does!!!" like FUCK OFF!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!

I know I AM WEIRD and OFF PUTTING, but even I DESERVE BETTER!!!!!! I FUCKING DO!!!!!

So why won't this guy be NORMAL around ME!!! IS THIS MY KARMIC PUNISHMENT FOR LOVING TOO MUCH??? IM SORRY I EVER DARED TO BE GAY AND YEARNED, YEARNED A LOT, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE HOUNDED LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

I PROMISE THAT MY FEARS OF BEING THIS GUY BUT FOR SOMEONE ELSE JUST MULTIPLIED EVEN MORE, I WILL NEVER EXPRESS MY AFFECTION EVER AGAIN FOR SOMEONE THAT CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT IT, I KNOW I KNOW NO ONE WANTS ME BUT WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED LIKE THIS

i hate it!!! I hate conflict and being mean!!! I don't know how to tell this guy

"HEY MAN YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND BUT I TRULY WISH YOU TREATED ME MORE LIKE A STRANGER I CAN'T KEEP HAVING AWKWARD SMALL TALK WITH YOU WERE YOU OBVIOUSLY KEEP TRYING TO AMUSE ME, I CAN'T HANDLE THAT PRESSURE, ALSO YOU CLEARLY WANT MY ARTISTIC VALIDATION AND I GIVE IT TO YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON, BUT STOP. ENOUGH!!! ENOUGH!!! THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU BUT YOU'RE ANNOYING!!!!!!!!"

Sobbing crying screaming I GET IT UNIVERSE, THIS IS A HILARIOUS JOKE BUT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT THIS "LOVE" YOU'VE SENT ME I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

DAMN ME TO ETERNAL ISOLATION IF YOU WANT BUT I AM NOT!!!!!! APPRECIATING!!!! THIS GUY'S ATTENTION!!!!!!!! I PREFER TO KEEP WEEPING AND SOBBING WHEN I FEEL NOT LOVED DURING MY DARK TIMES!!!!!!! BUT I AM TIRED!!!!!

Fuck FUCK ALSO I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT, HE JUST SENT ME A MESSAGE SAYING "M'lady" I AM GOING TO MAUL HIM TO PIECES STOP MISGENDERING ME MAN!!! IM GONNA FUCKING SNAP!!! FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!!!

AND U KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??????????

that this is my own damn fault!!!! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ASSERT MY BOUNDARIES!!!!

i know i should BUT I AM SCARED OKAY!!!! I HATE CONFLICT i absolutely DO the Fawn trauma response every SINGLE day of my LIFE and u want me to REJECT A MAN TWICE??? TWICE????

I ALREADY DID IT ONCE WHY CANT THAT SUFFICE!!!!! FUCK!!!!!

Huffs huffs puffs sobs

anyway this rant was sponsored by me staying at home to work only to get messaged by him asking if i was coming today to the office

Only for me to go "haha no :3"

and then him going "oh but i wanted to show u my art :( in person. are u coming tomorrow then?"

And then me replying "No i will go until monday :)"

BCUS FUCK!!!!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE I AM AT HOME and AT PEACE, I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT

And then of course he went "oh then until monday m'lady :)" LIKE CMON CMON CMON U DIDNT HAVE TO ADD THE M LADY THERE, BUT U DID BCUS OF COURSE YOU WOULD

Bcus the UNIVERSE HATES ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT A LADY GODDAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN LESS YOUR LADY!!!!!!!

FREE ME FROM THIS PUNISHMENT I PROMISE TO NEVER LOVE AGAIN AND BECOME EVEN MORE WEIRD AND OFF PUTTING SO I CAN DIE IN ISOLATION, BUT NEVER IN HETEROSEXUALITY

Wheeze sob huff huff wheeze

Ok

Ok

Now that i have calmed down.

Rationally. This FEELS like a karmic punishment. But THE UNIVERSE IS NEUTRAL AND UNFEELING AND INDIFFERENT AND i know this. Because i am rational and the universe has nothing against me.

This is just bad funny ironic luck! We do not allow victim complexes here! But even then you're right and it is your fault! if you knew how to SET boundaries this wouldn't be happening

So WORK ON THAT, we truly cannot continue being HOSTAGES to ONE (1) ANNOYING GUY IN THE OFFICE

[cognitosclowns]

so, we've talked about Reagan's reaction to Brett dying, but can I get some HC's for how the rest of the crew would react? also, how do you think Brett would react if any of the Team died?

</3 a a a a a a </3

tw death and dying, mortality and similar topics. also substance abuse! also food mentions!!

When Gigi hears the news her hands just,, immediately go to her heart.

There’s this massive ache like someone punched her in the chest. She doesn’t have the words or energy to react - she just takes a long, deep breath and leaves to sit in her office for a while.

She’ll recover - this is not the first person she’s lost, it isn’t going to be the last, but it’s gonna take a while. This job never gets easier.

She takes care of his affairs - his family isn’t involved in his life, and she doesn’t want them fucking with his estate. She manages finances, gets his will sorted, etc. All the Big, Frustrating Stuff that you shouldn’t have to be thinking of when someone you love is dead

She doesn’t want (or,, trust) anyone to take care of those sorts of things when they’re grieving.

Glenn probably handles it the best

He was an army man, active service for years. He knows how to deal with death, with grief, how to comfort others and what ppl need when they’re grieving.

Brings food to the war room bc,, he knows they’re gonna be forgetting to take care of themselves. 

Sits with Gigi and just,, holds her hand. They don’t really speak? Theres kind of a quiet understanding between them.

He’s genuinely the biggest help to everyone. Nobody really has the words to thank him properly but,, they appreciate it.

Myc is used to humans dying? mostly,,

This is why he doesn’t get attached - and fuck did he get attached to that stupid, brainless hunk. He regrets it now, obviously, but there’s no going back now.

It’s probably the only time they’ll see him quiet? he just,, doesn’t engage. No jokes, no ribbing, for at least a month or two. He probably tries to cut himself off from the gang at least a few times

He just,, doesn’t wanna have to deal with that again. He really doesn’t want to have to attend 4 more funerals.

This is a feeling he hasn’t had to deal with in a very long time, so it sucks absolute ass. He gets through it, but it’s gonna leave a lingering worrying about,, when the Next One Is Gonna Be.

Andre absolutely cracks a joke when he finds out. It’s badly timed and completely tactless, and the team doesn’t get upset bc,,, they get it. He’s just trying to cope.

Something about,, being reminded of how fragile he is?? is Way Too Much??  

He goes on a week-long (maybe a few weeks?) bender, drinking and partying. The thought of dealing with that sober is,, something he does not want to deal with.

He phases in between remembering Brett is dead and not even knowing his own name. He can’t grieve the loss of a friend he can barely remember existing!

He’s piss-drunk at the funeral, Gigi and Myc make sure he doesn’t make too much of a scene. Myc has a few tentacles around him, maybe just trying to mellow him out and make the event pass Quickly for him.

It definitely hits him hard - the team knows not to mention Brett anymore around him.

Brett would genuinely do everything in his power to keep a happy face if one of The Gang died. 

He feels the pressure to pretend everything is fine, and be the Beacon of Hope he always is bc,, if HE can't even be positive, how's everybody else going to?

Eventually he's going to break, because nobody can deal with grief by just tamping it down, but he's sure as hell gonna try smd. 

Someone’s gonna ask how he’s dealing with everything so well and,, he’s just gonna burst into tears.

Expect a group hug or two <3 

AAAAA THIS ASK <3 FUCK THIS WAS SO FUN (??? AGONIZING???) TO WRITE TYSM!!!

[clouds-rambles]

hello!~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)

thank u sm! :))

BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3

Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!

Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader

Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-

“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it

“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear

“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms

He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one. 

Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart

How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?

Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body

Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest

“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms

“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death

Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you

The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond

The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day

A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off. 

Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain

-

Diluc

No, not like this

You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different

Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply

“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends

“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own

“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood

“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life

Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind

A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body

She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again

Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.

Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience

Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable

Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned

Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones

Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad

He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon

-

Childe

You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body

“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return

“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare

But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping

“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest

“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.

You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you

Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep

Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer

Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms

The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit

Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes

Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him

If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one

They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie

-

Venti

He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.

He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more

Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-

He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking

A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost

Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard

He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop. 

Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.

Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.

Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality

Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell

News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning

Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern

It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.

Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you

Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-

Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there

He doesn’t want to lose again

It’s happened too much

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

I loved Arjuna's interludes what I don't get though is why make killing Karna such a big deal and not bring up how heartbroken he was finding out Karna was his half-brother? Why even make him want to fight Karna again when it was such an apparently wrong thing that goes against his being a hero? Fate wants me to think killing your enemy in a war while he fixes a flat tire is the most morally wrong thing you can do as if other characters haven't done worse.

1. asks about arjuna are always welcome, so no need to be shy

2. Ok but you’re 100% right? Bc in the original text he was DEVASTATED when he found out he’d killed his brother. Like yeah, it wasn’t a GREAT thing to do but so much more so bc it was his own kin. The guy was full on weeping. Not only that, but they have all this focus on karna’s death in fgo but don’t even mention the fact he helped kill Bhisma, his beloved granduncle….like he was his favorite grandnephew and he not only had to fight him in battle bc of their rules of honor but he ended up killing him (kind of. It’s complicated) You’d think that could at least be mentioned since it’s so similar to the karna situation and would’ve been a great parallel but….they don’t… :,) they could at least mention the fact he adopted karna’s last surviving kid afterwards as amends yknow.

3. this is one of the great failings of how arjuna and karna are handled in fate tbh. For a series that LOVES to go very grey on how characters are, with very few people being truely ‘good’ or ‘evil,’ the fact that they’ve allowed karna to exist as a ‘misunderstood good guy’ basically unchallenged is rather baffling. There are ways to adapt the stories without entirely throwing out what they were based on and karna without his darker elements…isn’t karna? We can at least still see arjuna underneath what fate gave us, but there’s so little to fate’s karna interpretation it’s legitimately detrimental to the character they DO get to give him. They need to A.) separate the two, B.) pull more characterization back out from the base myths again, C.) let arjuna be a hero goddamnit

4. And that’s the thing, they want us to take this thing about karna’s death being unspeakably evil and tragic to heart completely genuinely but like. People do way worse things in war all the time. Shooting a guy who intentionally turns his back on you AFTER you tell him that you won’t pause the battle so he can fix his wheel barely blips the radar. That’s not evil so much as it is a kinda dick move against t someone who’s kinda stupid.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Sdra2 boys reacting to s/o being the blackended?

Ohh :3

........

Yuri

“N-No..it’s not true!! You’re all wrong!!!”

Although he knew it was you, he tried denying it as much as he could, even taking the blame for your murder plot. 

He yells at Sora, insisting a mistake was made, only to fall silent as you speak.

“Yuri...c’mon. It’s not like you to shout at ladies.”

He turns to you, tears falling from his eyes as he begs for an explanation.

Regardless of your motive, he forgives you immediately, refusing to let Monocrow take you away. But he can't stop your execution.

He feels empty in the days after the trial. No amount of flirting with the other women could ever refill that void in his heart.

Teruya

He doesn’t even try to hold back the tears as he realized it was you. 

Now you were going to die like everyone else he loved..

“No, I-I can’t do this again. Not again..n-not after all I lost--!!!”

In the midst of a near-panic attack he sees you in front of him, taking his hands to calm him down.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you save them, Ruya. Just stay alive for me, okay?”

But in the end, he couldn’t keep that promise.

Though as the poison ran its course, he could only think of finally reuniting with you...and that made him smile.

Shinji

He argues with Sora every time your name is brought up.

But you can only watch him deny it for so long..and you finally snap in frustration.

“SHINJI! Please stop..I killed someone. It’s true.”

“Y-You..did..? But why...?” His smile falters as he struggles to understand your motivations.

He still believes you’re a good person. You were only forced to kill. You wouldn’t kill anyone had it not been for Mikado!

In the days following your execution, he tries keeping his spirits up for everybody’s sake.

But only when he’s alone does he weep over his failure to protect you.

Hajime

"No wait..this is bullshit!!" He tries protesting.

But the evidence lines up and..he can only look at you, heartbroken as you confess to the crime.

"Hajime, it's alright..this was my own fault. I was an idiot-"

"You're not an idiot, s/o." He removes his glasses, revealing tears in his red eyes.

Time is running out for you, so he just pulls you into one final hug, begging you to be strong as you're pulled away to your execution.

Yuki

He's already crying his eyes out.

"N-No...no, no!! Why?!!" He grips the podium as he stares at you. "Why would you do this?!!"

With everyone around you two dying, he was scared to lose you.

But he was about to lose you in the worst possible way.

You just hold him as he sobs, hushing him and telling him to be brave and survive.

Next thing he knew he was hugging air.

Without you by his side, things feel so much more hopeless..

Nikei

He's frantically searching his notepad, looking for something...anything that could clear your name.

"Nikei..I'm the killer."

"N-No..you can't be..!"

"Nikei stop it-"

"NO!! I'M NOT LOSING YOU, TOO!!" Suddenly his void eyes flare up, tears running freely down his face.

He already lost his leadership, his dignity..and now he was gonna lose you to that bastard wizard.

But somehow you aren't afraid as you kiss him, promising you two will meet again soon as you're dragged off.

Shobai

He already knew, but he just stood in silence, rage, and confusion the whole time.

He goes through a lot more cigarettes than usual.

Only when you finally confess does he snap.

“Goddamnit, s/o...why did ya have to go and do something that stupid, huh?!”

In the end, he can’t hate you. He just thinks you’re plain stupid for thinking you could get away with murder.

Yet he stays for your execution, bewildered as you smile through it.

You were an odd one, but damn...he was gonna miss you.

Mikado

To everyone's surprise, he actually praises you for your ability to kill.

He was expecting Void to do the work--not someone like you.

But he was sad to see you go.

"I'm sorry to do this to you, Mikado--" Monocrow starts.

"No, no. It's..It'll be fine. S/o knows the consequences of their actions...forgive me, my love.."

But it's not fine, as he bends the rules so that your execution fails and he pretends to be confused, too.

You're not gonna leave him like this. Not yet.

[galaxy-lilies]

i woke up and my brain was just going no <3 to the angst of q outliving karl and sap very loudly bc it just makes me want to bawl its so sad man so here we go ig

so like at some point q is thinking about it + he gets real sad bc he's basically going to only be able to spend a fraction of his life with the loves of it + that gets him spiralling, like logically he knows that's years and years and years away but that'd still hurt man, + he kinda withdraws from them from a bit, spending more time in the end (trying to put off seeing them so that he might not get as attached so it doesn't hurt as much even though it's way in the future, sad q does not care about logic or time)

+ they notice bc of course they do and they go and visit him together as soon as they can and when they do they're just like heart broken bc their beloved is hurting over something they can't control and it's just all round a sad time for everyone

but they help him through it bc they love him goddamnit and he loves them too and they're going to be okay no matter what (power of love dude)

and then a while later karl is just like thinkin about it + trying to think up a solution (bc he's just like that) and his mind wanders to foolish [idk where i'm going at this point bc i cannot for the life of me remember what foolish is a god of so i apologise profusely for that] and he's like, 'he's a god..? maybe he can help!' so he goes + visits + is like is there anything u can do + foolish being like a god can just see how desperate he is not to leave the one he loves alone and he is like weeping internally so he tells karl to come back in like a month or so and he'll see what he can do

so karl comes back + foolish gives him 2 necklaces or smthn + tells him to wear one + make sapnap wear the other + explains that for as long as they wear them they'll not age the same ig (theory being that q (+ philza by extention) age to a certain point + then live much longer than others remaining at that age + then near the end of their lifespans they'll begin to age naturally again, so the thingies can allow karl + sap to do the same basically)

and karl is just like :0 and he's just so happy that he can spend his time with those he loves and he just,, cry and he hugs foolish and is just like thankyouthankyouthankyou and words just cannot express how greatful he is but god powers or w/e and foolish can feel it and he's just so happy bc he's able to make them so happy and it's all good and they're all happy and it's a happy ending

what he doesn't tell karl is that (as he's like a totem of undying) he had to chip off some of like,, himself to make them + it's gonna affect him somehow but not heavily badly

tl;dr they are happy and they can all live together and be happy for the rest of their lives

also this got much longer than i anticipated, am just v much tired of all the angst that these 3 get on the regular + inspiration struck, anyways have some grapes if you made it this far bc u deserve it 🍇🍇🍇

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO SWEET AND COOL

Also; I’m just imagining the affect it has on Foolish is that instead of being like 23 ft he’s now 22 ft tall now

[angstysebfan]

Laser-Like Focus - Chapter 10

Pairing:  Bucky x reader

Summary: You met Bucky while working with the Avengers. You fell in love and got married. One thing you had in common was to kill all members of HYDRA. Bucky for his known reasons, and you because they killed your parents in front of you when you were a little girl. Soon your focus on HYDRA pulled you and Bucky apart. He decided to leave the Avengers and after a long separation, sent you divorce papers. He comes back to get the signed papers, as he is about to get married again. But everything with you and Buck is an adventure.

After hearing that both agents were gone, you looked at Bucky and see the anger on his face. He turned around and punch the brick wall behind him with his metal arms. “Goddamnit! Stupid!” he said under his breath before leaning against the wall panting. You put your hand on his shoulder, making him look at you. Instantaneously his face softened.

“It wasn’t your fault. We tried to stop him,” you say calmly. Bucky took a deep breath and nodded, knowing you were right. He cupped your jaw and brought you to him to kiss you on the forehead. Suddenly Natasha’s voice came in again. “He has been found. Go to the left and down 5 buildings. Only heat signature that is moving,” she states.

“Ok everyone lets move. No one go in the building until Barnes or I say,” you say into the comm as you both take off in the direction Nat said. You and your team surround the building. Steve comes up to you, “I saw him peeking through the window, so he is definitely here. But I wouldn’t trust going in. He might have explosives,” he says.

“This ends today,” you say to Steve, who just nods in return. You look at Bucky, “You in this with me?” you ask. “Always, doll,” he replies with a nod. You both walk into the building, telling the rest of the team to hold back unless needed. As you make your way to the stairs, Bucky in front, you stop him, “Last one. Last time, and I promise we can finally have the life we deserve,” you say. Bucky stares at you in surprise before nodding and heading up the stairs.

He can’t help but wonder if you meant what you said. You have made claims like that before, but they fell through. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but maybe he can come up with a way for you both to win. He decides to think about it all when the mission is over; right now he just focuses on each floor and making sure you are safe.

When you get to the 5th floor, you both head down the hall to the only closed door on the floor. Bucky silently counts to 3 before swinging the door open and leading the way in with his rifle. There stands the wanted HYDRA operative. You see he is in pain from where he is shot, and he looks pale and sickly from blood loss. you do however recognize him from the night your parents died.

“Well you finally found me,” he says in a sneer. You step out from behind Bucky and point your gun at him, “Why would they have an older man be an informant? HYDRA must be losing steam. Am I finally getting to you?” you ask with a smirk. The man laughs, “Oh child, you have no idea what your escapades have done. If anything it makes us stronger,” he says.

“Well, the Avenegers will make sure every single one of you fuckers are either dead or in prison,” you say, taking a step closer. The man looks at you for a moment, “You look familiar child. Oh yes, Dr. Y/L/N’s daughter. No wonder you have the vendetta against us, but nothing you do will ever give you the revenge you seek. Your parents were nothing but useless, pathetic scientists who gave up their little lives for you,” he says.

Bucky looks at you and sees that you are shaking with rage, “Shut the fuck up! They were better people than all of HYDRA put together. And maybe I can’t avenge them completely, but killing you will be an absolute pleasure,” you say. The man laughs, “You think we don’t know how well your revenge plan has gone? First the fact that you married the asset is pathetic enough, but then you chase him away. Can’t even keep an emotionless, mindless, soldat happy. You are nothing but a waste--”

The shot was fired, startling both you and the HYDRA operative, however he just fell backwards dead. You see the blood pouring out of his head from where the shot hit him. You look over and see Bucky still aiming his rifle at him, breathing heavy. You lower your own weapon and walk over to Bucky. “It’s ok, Buck. He’s gone,” you say. Bucky lowers his weapon and looks at you.

“I know you wanted to do it, but I couldn’t--” you cut Bucky off quickly, “No, I’m glad you did it,” you say with a small smile. Suddenly the building starts to shake, “Guys get out of there, all the buildings are exploding and collapsing!” Steve yells. You and Bucky quickly look at each other and book it out of the room and down the hall to the stairs.

As you make your way down the stairs, you feel the foundation below you starting to crumble. Bucky grabs you and hoists you into his arms as he continues to jump from landing to landing. As you get down to the first floor the ceiling above you starts to collapse and falls onto Bucky making you both fall to the ground and get covered by debris.

--

Once the ground settled, the team quickly ran over to the building you and Bucky were in. They tried to reach you on the comms, but there was no answer. They brought in machinery to pick up large pieces of the building. Steve was right in the action, easily throwing brick and concrete away like it weighed as much as paper. As he kept digging, he found Bucky’s metal arm.

Once they were able to uncover Bucky they started to bring him to the command center because he was unconscious. On his way there he woke up, panicking as he wanted to get to you. “Buck, they are looking for her, ok. It’s going to be ok,” Sam said, trying to keep Bucky still. Bucky pushed Sam away, “I need to find her. I need to make sure she is alright,” Bucky said as he ran back toward the fallen building. 

When Bucky got there, he quickly jumped in where Steve was, helping him lift pieces of concrete. He felt desperate to find you, and prayed to whatever higher power there was that you were ok. He dug further and further into the pile until he finally found you. You stuck under a large steel pole that helped hold the wall. It took several tries, but Bucky and Steve managed to get it off of you.

“Don’t touch her Buck. Let Cho and Banner take her in the cradle. Just in case,” Steve says. Bucky nodded silently, as tears came to his eyes. You had to be ok. He couldn’t lose you now. Not when he just got you back, not when you both were going to settle on what future you had. Dr. Cho and Bruce bring in the cradle and carefully place you in, before heading to the truck to bring you to the medbay at the tower. Bucky quickly jumps in the truck, not wanting to be away from you.

Bucky just looks at your unconscious form as Banner and Dr. Cho discuss findings. They both agree that you need surgery for some internal bleeding. They look at Bucky, “We need your permission as her next of kin,” Dr. Cho says. Bucky nods, knowing he cannot speak for fear of breaking down. After the short trip, both doctors take you and cradle and run to the operating room, telling Bucky they will give an update when they can.

Bucky sits on the hallway floor and covers his face, and allows himself to weep. He just repeats over and over, “Please be ok. I need you to be ok,” over and over. He waits and waits and waits for that update. He stares at the doors, waiting for someone to come. He continues to pray like never before.

He just waits.

--

Chapter 9 / Chapter 11

Oh no. The reader is in trouble. Can she be saved? Feedback is appreciated.

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[bansheeoftheforest]

Jekffin with this au is such a funny concept; acquaintances, to enemies, to "Uh oh one died!", to lovers. Jekyll just keeps flirting with Griffin to mess with him but then uh this is genuine flirting now-

Hmm I wonder how living looking forms ghosts can take when they want, Jekyll already has a potion that can give ghosts heartbeats, and earlier I sent an idea where the lodgers could get a device to touch ghosts

Oh gosh imagine the lodgers still not knowing Jekyll is the ghost (maybe he told Griffin not to tell them) and now Griffin is suddenly dating the ghost. What would they even think at that bdksbdks

-

Also, I just remembered I do have an actual sorta ghost au, I just never posted it. It was meant to be a comic, but then turned into a fic, but fic form wouldn't work as well, so now theres just one chapter that's been abandoned in my drafts since July XD

It's such a funny concept but literally Henry with anyone after his death if such a funny concept. Robert with the friends to business partners to death to lovers finally stopping their pinning? Emma with the "we met once at a banquet and now the other died, oh well, time for Henry to start ghost flirting with Emma!" Because I literally cannot get enough of Henry x Emma, but Jekffin is just...*chef's kiss* there is smt about Griffin realizing that Jekyll is the one haunting them at that Jekyll is the one that died and realizing how absolutely horrible that makes him feel, only to realize it makes him feel so horrible because his crush died! its just... <3<3

I mean, I have thought that maybe at least Jekyll's living imitation form would like... Well, as he was when he was living, just a bit hard to focus on, perhaps shinier and glittery and stuff? Like nothing you would notice right away but enough to get you to feel a lil weird. If anything, Maijabi could probably find a way to give Henry an actual physical body for a while :>

It would cause SO MUCH havoc I swear to god. Like, the rest of the Lodgers don't even know who the ghost is and assume that Griffin doesn't either, the ghost has destroyed most of their expensive equipment and can be heard weeping at night or playing music without any regard for the sleeping, clearly it likes to mess with them and now Griffin is dating it??? I just... They all would probably think Griffin has a very weird monster fetish and thought he was just taking his chance while he had it, although I can imagine all the awkward questions he would get about it XD

Darlene goddamnit this is my au now you already have like 100 popular aus let me have this one ;-; XD /j

[quietlyimplode]

Whumptober2020 - Day 6 - No More

Day 1 - waking up restrained // Day 2 - kidnapped // Day 3 - manhandled // Day 4 - caged // Day 5 - rescue 

(A continuation of Day 5) Clint/Nat

“Will you let her work now?” Tony gestures to Cho, “maybe this could have been avoided if you’d just let her do it before.” Tony sounds so pissed and concerned at the same time.

“No.” Clint shoots dagger eyes at Tony. “She said no.”

“Clint,” Pepper tries, “we know, but you have to admit this changes things. Even pain medication? She must be in so much pain.” Pepper looks forlorn.

Clint grunts.

“You don’t know. None of you know.”

——-

“Tasha?”

“Fuck.”

“Move her, lay her down.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“What’s happening?”

“Protect her head and start timing.”

“Clint, let go of her, goddamnit.”

“Tony, can you get Friday to take her vitals?”

“Her temperature is too high, she’s febrile. Infection maybe?”

“How longs it been?”

“Clint, has she ever had one before?”

“Clint!?”

“Was she just hit in the head?”

Clint’s ignoring all of them, choosing instead to cradle Natasha’s seizing head in his lap and talk to her, reassure her, lie to her to her and tell her everything is fine.

Everything is not fine.

Doctor Cho uses the time to visually examine her, they’ve removed the blanket covering her, making sure her shaking limbs don’t get tangled within. Natasha’s cat suit had been removed (probably long ago, as it didn’t return with her) leaving her in a black sports bra and skintight shorts. There’s bruising everywhere. Notably, she realises the absence of bruising at the juncture of her legs and sighs a little inside. One less hurt on a multitude of hurts.

The skin of her wrists and ankles probably need debriding, there’s slough in each with redness pushing past the wounds; it may speak to Natasha’s rising temperature. The band of bruising around her chest with bruises flowering from middle look painful - maybe broken ribs? She’s unsure without touching them, and there’s no way she’s doing that without consent.

She’s seen worse knife marks, but the shallow cuts that seemingly litter all of Natasha seem more for pain than anything else. Each are weeping, the slow trickle of blood from each on its own would be fine, but together there seems to be blood dripping everywhere.

And then there’s the taser burns. Maybe an increase in electricity has sparked the seizure? Cho doesn’t wonder about the constant tremor that played across her body intermittently.

Maybe this is a result of everything.

Doctor Cho takes note of the puncture marks in Natasha’s neck. It’s hidden amongst the blossoming bruise that’s become more prominent since Clint and Natasha stepped onto the jet. She’d caught a peak of it but had mostly been covered.

She hadn’t even considered an overdose.

They’re nearing the four minute mark when Natasha’s body slows. Cho advises them to roll her into a recovery position. Her body pistons back and Cho sees the bile work it way up her throat; acting as quick as she can she tries to position Natasha’s head in a way it’s facing down using Clint as a support, hoping it’s enough to help the vomit drain.

“Sorry,” Cho says to Clint as his legs are covered.

Tony looks on in disgust and Pepper is gathering towels and any medical supplies she can think, giving them to Clint to help with the mess and mop up.

“Will you let her work now?” Tony gestures to Cho, “maybe this could have been avoided if you’d just let her do it before.” Tony sounds so pissed and concerned at the same time.

“No.” Clint shoots dagger eyes at Tony. “She said no.”

“Clint,” Pepper tries, “we know, but you have to admit this changes things. Even pain medication? She must be in so much pain.” Pepper looks forlorn.

Clint grunts.

“You don’t know. None of you know.”

The conversation is halted by more retching. Cho can’t even imagine how much that must be hurting Natasha’s ribs, the cuts and the pressure through her neck. Even swallowing must be painful.

Most concerning, if she has a concussion, which is seemingly more and more likely, Cho wonders if there’s any bruising on her brain.

Cho thinks she’s still out of it, Natasha wasn’t particularly conscious or unconscious when she got on the jet, enough to be vigilant of everyone and thing around her but not enough to respond.

She surprised when she hears Russian words, followed by English, then French.

“Bol’she ne nado..”

“No more.”

“Pas plus.”

Followed by a plea.

“Stop.” The implicit request; make it stop.

Clint’s immediately in front of her face. Wiping away sweat and tears.

“Tasha?”

He switches to Russian, knowing Tony and Pepper don’t speak it. Wanting privacy but knowing at this point it’s impossible. It’s also easier for Natasha to fall back to. Short sentences.

“Mne zhal’.” I’m sorry. “Chto ranit?” What hurts?”

“Vse,” Natasha breathes out. Everything.

“Medikament?” Medication?

Natasha’s eyes search his face. Sees the concern. Knows he’s only got her best interest at heart, otherwise he wouldn’t be asking.

“Tvoy vybor.” Your choice.

She’s fading again. Clint can see it before it happens, knows it’s going to happen.

“Start timing,” he says just as she starts to seize.

They fall into the previous routine.

Tony’s pacing and Cho’s sitting in the chair Clint and Natasha vacated, looking down on the pair.

Peppers watching the front, keeping an eye on the autopilot and coordinates, away from the confrontation of Tony and Clint and away from Natasha’s pain. She can bare it, but only so much. Let Tony stand witness.

This time it only lasts two minutes. Better. But only just. Better would be no seizures but they take what they can get.

“Do it doc.”

Tony rubs his hand over his face. Relief is evident.

Cho moves before Clint changes his mind, quickly prepping a syringe full of pain medication and another of antibiotics. She pulls Natasha’s arm away from her body, pulling straight. They go in quickly and smooth; experience with noncompliance evident in all actions. Each touch is a means to an end, a diagnosis to stop deterioration. Clint is watching her like his namesake - eyes sharp on everything she does - watching and learning in case he ever need to replicate any of the actions.

“How far out are we?” She inquires, worry crossing her features.

“Why?” Tony asks, “what do you need?”

Clint’s whispering in Natasha’s ears again.

“MRI? CT? X-ray? Anything to double check what my eyes are telling me.”

“The portable MRI is in the corner,” Pepper points it out, “do you want me to set it up?”

The doctor defaults to Clint. “Ok?”

Clint nods, a short drop of his chin.

——-

If anyone has a better translation of the above, let me know! Thanks for the support you legends, please let me know if there are any other warning tags needed.