#WE NEED MORE HAIRY KINDRED!!!!!!!!!!

[crownedinmarigolds]

Jesse Steele the Banu Haqim Antitribu Scourge for @discodiablo! Thank you for commissioning me again! I love someone a little cold and unhinged. <3 (A companion piece to Aidan ;D)

You decided to bother the wrong business, Thinblood. <3

[camping-with-monsters]

Beware! For just beyond the taller trees and thorny bushes lurks a dangerous and terrifying entity known simply as… The Beast!

Yikes, even muttering the name manages to chill a spine! This dastardly Beast is spoken to be quite the monster. A bear-like face with glowing evil eyes, a pair of tusks that pierce from the sides of it’s mouth, a long hairy body that trails when it runs, and to top things off, it even has razor sharp bear traps for hands! What a horrible sight indeed! You’d best tread carefully if you find yourself in the quiet ends of Whistlegrimm, for if the breeze around you suddenly comes to a halt, and you feel the hair on your neck stand, you bet that The Beast is already on your trail, and it’s recommended you start hauling now. Most of the time, it’s very secretive in its tactics. Despite being such a hulk of a creature, it trails softly through the underbrush, already deciphering exactly what angle is the only one you won’t look before it pounces and roars— and you better believe it— it’s got one mighty roar! The kind of shrill grumble that will have you quaking and scurrying away faster than you can even perceive it’s already daunting stature!

Not many know of The Beast’s origins. Some say the heart-shape pattern on its head bears a mystical power to read the minds of feeble minded victims. But whatever its deal is, it gets a pretty hefty rep when it comes to putting on such a scene. But that ol’ Beast doesn’t seem to have a care in the world about the reputation. All good beasts are feared— it’s exactly what this Beast wants! To get a reaction out of unsuspecting passersby who happen to linger right into its teeth. But should someone manage to find themselves paralyzed and unable to make a getaway in time before it gets close enough, they may be graced to hear one last thing… its mighty laugh as it seems to taunt your terror. It’s then and only then this creature’s truth is revealed.

For this Beast… is only a facade.

BEHOLD! The Beast unmasked and exposed to truly show the real nature of such a character! A true trickster at heart, Goldilocks, the real name of this falsified foe, is only here to make some noise!

Though hardy, she’s actually a good-hearted goofball who’s got a knack for pulling elaborate stunts to get some good reactions— but to her, it’s all in lighthearted fun! With a giant mop of hair stretching long and far— quite similarly to Rapunzel, actually— this eccentric gal has figured out how to use her own head to create the perfect costume, figuratively and literally. Taking on a bear-like disguise in the hopes of making some tomfoolery, Goldi loves to trot aimlessly and listen for a wandering soul to joke around with. It’s really up to the eye of the beholder whether this elaborate stunt is truly witty, or way extra, or whether the fun can be appreciated or is taking things too far and really creating too much of a scare. Miss Goldilocks would digress. She both loves the persona for its scaring potential and makes her feel closer to nature and all its kindred.

It’s hard to say whether those bear trap cuffs around her are even real bear traps. She’s a tinkerer, so it can only be assumed that the lot of her props are all handcrafted by her’s truly. Quite the designer, and very efficient at making things seem all the more authentic. Perhaps those “bear traps for hands” are simply just stilts made to hoist herself upright and run on all fours easier. Or maybe they are? We just don’t know. But regardless, even if she gives you quite the spookin’, it’s important to remind yourself that she bears no ill intent— the woman probably couldn’t even hurt a fly. At least, not intentionally, of course. Having a lot of body strength and being all rough and tumble is bound to leave someone out of breath if they can’t keep up with her. Gonna have to take someone without a pair of lungs, or hell, a need for breathing at all to match this gal’s energy…

——

I originally told myself I wasn’t going to create a Goldilocks based character cause I wasn’t sure how I could outdo her portrayal in Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. And then an idea (initially sparked to me by @menthum-mint) and my own creativity inevitably got the best of me with this one :)

And honestly? She might be one of my favorite designs in DDG. When I tell you this character was in design hell for a while, and that I jumped some hurdles to get this character to work in terms of making her feel authentic to the cast (cause the original concepts did something very different with the hair), it was a doozy getting her to work. In the end, I settled with… character who’s anatomically her own quadsuit. I… yeah! That’s certainly a way to describe it!

[bubble-booty-valkyrie]

Are Ruby and Weiss around the right size to come face-to-face with Broly cock, while standing, or just Neo and Nora?

One would think that Neo would find comfort in finding another girls who’s only very slightly taller then she is, someone who knows the struggles of being tiny and thicc, along with all the teasing and people looking for a set of tiny holes to stuff, but they’d be wrong. Neo stomped down the Beacon halls with her cheeks buffed out in a moody pout, having been followed around by the equally as tiny redheaded Valkyrie who just wouldn’t stop talking.

They weren’t kindred spirits, cause while Neo had dealt with being tiny her whole life, with the teasing to go with it, Nora was stupid and didn’t realize that being so small was annoying, or that people were teasing her. Neo’s gotten over it, embraced her own short and stacked aesthetic, but that didn’t make Nora any less empty headed and annoying.

“Oh my gosh, we should totally be TTBFFEAE~!! Teeny Tiny Best Friends For Ever And Ever~!! We can share clothes, and guys, and we can be work out buddies, and we can-!!”

Neo was about ready to snap, honestly, she could already imagine what the ditzy slut’s neck would feel like in her hands, and it only served to annoy her further when she realized the redhead would probably like it. Neo knew she would have..

Neo was just about to yank her arm free from between the bimbo’s fat cow tits when both she and Nora turned the corner in the hall to slam face first into a solid wall of hot, musky muscle. Or more specifically, a solid wall of muscle named Broly, and their face was pressed up against either side of his massive snaking bulge in his shorts. and he clearly was doing some kind of physical activity to have such a strong, raw musk. It was strong enough that even Nora shut up.

Neo wasn’t ashamed to admit that she didn’t pull her face away, instead she just looked up at the clearly pissed off man while subtly trying to huff her fill of his very sweaty cock and balls. He was so fucking huge, and she wasn’t even just talking about his height, she could feel how much of a beast he was just from having her face pressed against his bulge, pure, raw, musky heat pouring off his bulge and onto her pretty face. Even the redheaded bimbo didn’t pull away, more obviously huffing his cock and sack with enthusiasm.

One thing Neo realized beyond the haze of sweaty man meat was the fact that he was furious, Broly always looked mad to some degree, but his hair was standing on end in the way her and the rest of the school learned meant he was actually angry. She didn’t know what he was angry with, but at least it wasn’t them, they could handle themselves, but Neo would like the man to try and stab her with with something other then steel, if you caught her drift. That, and his eyes were gold, which was usually a bad sign.

Now, usually Neo avoided danger, but she was too caught up with the fact that this battering ram was the thing that fucked up her girlfriend so bad that she couldn’t walk for three days! She was both jealous and relieved it wasn’t her instead!

“Mmm~ Hey Broly~ Need some help cleaning you balls~? They smell all sweaty~” Nora’s muffled voice rang out, causing her equally as small friend to side eye her with shock and fear. “Me and my new TTBFFEAE were just talking about doing fun things together~”

This slut was gonna get them killed! Neo was just about to turn around and run when she heard a deep, animalistic growl leave the massive mountainous man’s throat, and suddenly she, along her her redheaded classmate, were lifted up each with one hand and thrown over the man’s shoulder like they belonged to him, two very loud slaps filling the hall from how he roughly slapped both their asses and groped them while bringing them to his room.

Well, at least Neo was gonna have another thing in common with her girlfriend..?

…

Neo had been thrown to the ground without any care for her comfort along with her bubble booty bimbo classmate, both of the landing with a thump against the carpeted ground by the foot of the bed while the man of the hour yanked his compression shirt over his head and threw it across the room.

Broly sat down onto his special ordered bed with a sigh mixed growl of relief and exhaustion, obviously still pissed off and tense from whatever happened earlier. Honestly, Neo didn’t really care why the massive man was pissed, she was more worried about him taking it out on her! Something she realized was inevitable when he looked down at them with golden, hungry eyes. Dammit..

“Aww, did something make you angry, Broly?” Nora asked up at the clearly seething stud like she was talking to a growling puppy, getting onto her knees between his massive, muscular thighs and leaving room for Neo to do the same. “It’s okay big guy, me and Neo will make it all better~! Right Neo~?”Nora was a lot stronger then she looked, Neo realized that a long time ago, and now she used that superior strength to yank Neo right next to her between the powerful thighs off Broly, sealing her fate as Broly’s extra cock warmer. Now, with them both face to face with the man’s massive bulge, Nora reached forward without a second though and pulled the man’s shorts down passed his hips.

Neo actually squeaked with fright when that massive, fat, veiny pillar of steaming hot meat sprung free and slapped down against her small, pretty little face, covering half her features with nothing but thick raw throbbing cock thicker then the tiny slut’s arm. Holy fuck, his raw musk made Neo’s head spin, and she’d never felt smaller and more helpless then when she looked past that unruly bitch breaker and up at Broly, knowing that he expected this fucking thing to be in at least one of her holes by the end of this..

Nora didn’t seem all that scared as she squealed and shoved her nose right up against Broly’s fat, hairy, sweaty, musky balls, huffing away like the nasty slut she was known to be before noisily slurping up one of those massive furry nuts between her plump, glossy lips and worshipping it like she was in love with it.

Neo knew she was left with the hard job, worriedly looking up at the still pissed man before slowly reaching up and grabbing his massive cock with both hands, hefting it off her face and jerking him off as best as her small hands could. But she knew it wouldn’t be enough, so to keep him from snapping at her, Neo leaned up and placed a submissive kiss right on his fat, precum dripping tip, hoping it would please him enough to not grab her hair and force her onto the thing.

And with that, Neo opened her mouth as wide as she could and stuffed the raw, musky, dripping, steaming hot cock tip right into her tiny mouth, pushing that sweaty pillar of smelly meat past her plump, cock pillow lips and filling her senses with nothing but pure, raw, pearlescent precum, jerking off more and more of it onto her tongue while loudly suckling and slurping as hard as she could, hoping to please him with just this.

Nora was having the time of her life, her eyes crossed with her mouth stuffed full of both the man’s massive, sweaty, reeking, hairy nuts while she slurped as loud and hard as she could, happily getting herself drunk off of Broly’s musk while her hot little tongue rolled out underneath and lapped at his taint just for fun.

Neo was actually too busy savoring the delicious taste of Broly’s precum to see him put one of his massive hands on her head, her eyes going wide and shooting up towards his face just to see an evil grin flash across his features, right before he suddenly pushed her down his cock.

Neo loudly choked and gagged as the man’s massive, throbbing bitchbreaker slammed against the back of her tiny throat, so wide that the blunt tip could barely fit passed her small airway without meeting some significant resistance from her pretty little pink choker she had gotten from her girlfriend as a gift. 

Broly didn’t like that one bit, snarling furiously as he grabbed Neo’s head with both massive hands, not caring in the slightest that Neo’s big, pretty mismatched eyes were rolled up in the back of her sockets with tears pouring down her face.

Nora let the man’s massive nuts pop out of her mouth with a nice, hot, wet slurp, a few stray pubes stuck to her plump, glossy lips while she panted lewdly against his newly saliva dripping nuts. She looked like she had just tasted the sweetest cake ever, small hearts practically in her eyes before she spotted Neo’s predicament.

She saw the way the small pocket slut was losing her mind from the massive beast’s brutal treatment and raw musk, and she was actually a little jealous, shoving her hand under her skirt and into her panties to frantically finger herself while watching Neo’s struggle.

Broly was really starting to get pissed as he repeatedly slammed his blunt tip against the back of Neo’s throat, not getting it an inch further. He had enough. With a final snarl, Broly slammed his hips up while slamming Neo’s face down his shaft, and with a loud snap of Neo’s choker, finally forced his massive cock down Neo’s throat, every wide inch in one, long, wet, choking, gagging thrust until her cute little nose was buried into his sweaty, musky pubes, his nuts slapping against her chin.

Nora couldn’t even speak, simply watching with aw as Neo throated that unbelievable monster, a slight, noticeable bulge to her throat as Broly finally settled in.

That wasn’t the end though, Broly yanked Neo up to the tip of his monolithic pillar of meat, his precum dripping onto her tongue for just a second before he slammed her right back down with another long, wet, loud, gagging, choking thrust.

From then, Broly used Neo’s throat like a cocksock, setting a fast, brutal tempo and slamming her nose into his pubes, over and over again jerking her head back and forth to slide every thick inch back into her throat.

Neo could barely breath, her eyes rolled up, tears and makeup running down her face, stray pubes and saliva dripping down her chin while she tried to suck even a little to get him off faster.

Broly didn’t like this slow pace though, instead switching the positions on the bed so Neo was leaned back against his mattress and bed frame, unable to even try and push him back when he finally put both of his muscular thighs on either side of Neo’s head, grinning down and finally going to town.

Loud, brutal, frantic slapping filled the room as Broly pistoned his hips forward over and over again, fucking Neo’s small face like he would a slut who loved it rough, his nuts smacking her chin, saliva and throat slime dripping all over her chest and his thighs while he tried his best to fuck her unconscious.

Neo couldn’t see straight, her eyes filling with stars and hearts while she was used worse then she had ever been before, like nothing but a slutty, submissive, throwaway cumdumpster made for Broly to abuse however he wanted. And she just couldn’t stop cumming, squirting all over herself and in her panties while the entire bed rocked and banged against the wall.

Nora had stopped fingering herself long enough to realize that she was probably next, not sure if she was more worried or excited.

Broly growled, and snarled, and grunted like a wild animal while he fucked Neo’s tiny throat, realizing that it was the tightest hole he’s ever had, and enjoying every second of it. Until finally, with one last brutal thrust, Broly slammed balls deep, grinding Neo’s nose into his curly pubes, and unloading his fat, hot balls into her throat, making sure every single thick, stringy, chunky blast went straight into her stomach.

Neo had long since lost consciousness, not even reacting when Broly yanked his still steel hard cock free from her throat, long strings of cum and saliva sticking between them. She didn’t even react when he let go of her hair and dropped her to the floor, small bubbles of cum and saliva showing that she was still breathing.

Broly didn’t calm down though, instead he turned to glare at the only other bubble booty buttslut in the room, eyeing her up with hunger and lust.

Nora looked down at Neo, then back up at Broly as he walked in front of her, both of them silent as he looked down at her.

“Uh.. Boop~?” Nora booped the man’s cock with a single wet finger, smiling up at him, before he grabbed her and threw her face down on the bed for her turn.

[thecomicsnexus]

TURTLE SOUP #1 / TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #37 JUNE - NOVEMBER 1991 BY RICK MCCOLLUM AND BILL ANDERSON

SYNOPSIS (FROM TURTLEPEDIA)

The Turtles are exploring the woods, led there by Donatello on a spiritual quest. Earlier in the week, Splinter had sent Don to a specific place in the forest, where the young terrapin said he had met the "Father of all reptiles", some sort of ghost or spirit. The rest of the guys doubt Donatello's story, but Splinter angrily admonishes them for not being in touch with their heritage, one that stretches back millions of years to when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. Splinter states that everything is a ring, and what rises must fall... and as the mammals overtook the planet when the reptiles died off, so too will the mammals cease to exist. Raph, Leo and Mike are still doubtful of Don's vision, so their Sensei sends them into the woods to find the spirit as well.

Donatello has trouble retracing his path, and the others become more cynical than ever. That evening, after setting up camp, Mike takes a walk on his own. As Michaelangelo ponders the reptiles VS. mammals scenario, an ominous clawed hand emerges from the woods...

The next morning, the other Turtles awake to find their brother missing and set off to search for him. Donatello once again leads the way, feeling the pull of an unknown source that Raphael and Leonardo are unaware of. On the second evening a heavy fog sets in, and the brothers become separated. In short order, Don and Leo discover that Raphael has gone missing.

The next morning Donatello is acting strange and talking in a strange voice. This eerie activity sets Leo off and he yells at Donatello. Don explains that they're on the Eternal Ring, that they are the avatars of the reptilian race... but the Ring has been broken and the Turtles must repair it.

"He told me so." Don states.

"Who told you this?" demands Leonardo.

"The Father of us all." replies a euphoric Donatello.

This statement only angers Leonardo further, but the two set off to find their siblings. As they progress through the briar infested woods, Leo has to struggle with Herculean effort to cut a path, and yet Donatello passes through the woods with ease.

Meanwhile, Raph and Mike have found one another. Both are battered and bloodied, Raph in particular. Michaelangelo has found their equipment and supplies, the water proving to be a great asset. Slightly refreshed and better armed, the two brothers set off to battle the beast that put them in this condition.

Shortly thereafter, Don and Leo are ambushed. The brothers manage to fend off their attacker without getting a good view of it. During the battle, Leonardo even managed to cut off one of its arms, which is long and hairy and ends with a giant clawed hand.

That evening, as Leo keeps watch, Donatello emerges from the woods in a cape and cowl, covered in war paint. "I will be the shaman to oppose him," Don says in the eerie voice. That night, both Turtles have the same dream, of time passing and their cold blooded ancestors being replaced by the warm blooded mammals. They feel fear from the events and anguish at the potential lost to their kind... their kindred spirits beckon them. When they awake, Leo states "They must be let loose. But why? And How?"

"You are learning." Donatello tells him.

The brothers set off once again, and quickly the fog returns. The Turtles prepare for an assault and they are not disappointed, as a gigantic shadowy form erupts from the mist with violent force. Don is injured almost immediately and can't continue the quest. Leo refuses to leave his brother behind, but Donatello tells him that he must, as the Father of all reptiles needs help. Leo steadfastly refuses to leave, but Don will not acquiesce... for it isn't Donatello who is the shaman, but Leonardo. Don bursts into tears and commands his sibling to complete their mission before the beast returns. Crying, Leonardo leaves one of his blades with his brother and sets off.

As Leonardo progresses, he is contacted by a voice. The specter tells Leonardo that it is pleased that he is so distraught, as it has opened the door between them. Leonardo climbs a precarious rock face as the voice speaks to him.

"Your brother Donatello gave me joy when we met. I thought it would release me from my grief. I tried to go. But joy is ephemeral - while melancholy lasts forever."

Leo makes it to the top, and sits back in exhaustion. The voice has left him, and he hears the sounds of the approaching beast... yet it doesn't attack and moves off. Leonardo doesn't understand why the monster won't attack, and eventually falls into a deep sleep, where the voice returns.

"This is my nexus, my holy spot. This is my prison, where I am trapped by my sadness. Dream my child... dream of extinction. Dream of death. Once we were, now we are not. You and yours are what we could have been - had not the hairy ones come. All the scaly brethren are my children... but the hairy ones killed them... THEY ATE MY EGGS!

Leo's sleep is suddenly interrupted by the monster, who has finally decided to attack. The lone Turtle leaps into action as the voice continues.

"The adversary still lives! The spirit of my murderers feeds off my sorrows! Be my vessel! Let the scales and fangs and claws of generations give you strength!"

The battle continues on, bloody and barbaric. Leonardo strikes his foe again and again, yet it continues on... until we see an apparition of a great turtle form in the clouds above, when Leonardo finally delivers the death blow.

Below, Raph and Mike have found Donatello and are struggling to climb the rocks. Mike sees the cloud turtle, and Donatello tells them that it's a good omen, that the quest is complete. Raph insists that they continue onward, but Don's injuries prevent him from going further.

"It's finished. We don't have to hurry now." Don tells his brothers.

"He's still nuts," Raph sneers, "Leo needs us."

Mike hands Don a blade for protection, "Take this. Stay on guard."

"It doesn't matter." insists Don.

Raph and Mike continue on, and find their shaman, sitting atop the precipice. Leonardo sits with his katana in hand, his vanquished foe in pieces around him, leaning against a gigantic, broken eggshell.

"We freed him," Leo states, "The wheel is moving again. The ring is whole."

REVIEW

As it is common with the Ninja Turtles, many influences make their way into the stories. Here, I cannot help but think about the Parliament of Trees. Nevertheless, this is a very interesting story, and it will have a sequel, almost around the end of Mirage Studios publications (the end of the mammals).

In any case, this story is not supposed to be canon, but technically could. Has Leonardo doomed all his fellow mammals? Like April and Splinter?

While I understand the idea behind it, there is something very primal (and tribal) about this story. Of how the Turtles fight for the family of their species, putting aside their feelings.

I give the story a score of 9.

[vtmb-mitnick-needs-more-love]

Headcanon Noseferatu at a party? Lol dont know if I made sense but ya Thank you~

Thank you for your ask anon! I decided to answer this in two ways, thefirst is general nosferatu behavious at a party (or at least my take on it) andthe second part is about our favourite L.A Nosferatu brood.

Also let it be said here before we go any furher, my introverted buttdoes not frequent parties very often practically ever, so I don’t reallyknow what people do at parties. Here goes nothing!

So in my opinion this really depends on the kind of party and who’shosting it.  Since kindred society and thesocialite clans like Toreadors tend to look down on the Nosferatu, due tomainly their looks but also a variety of other reasons, they don’t really getinvited to parties a lot. I get the feeling that in general on the off chance they do get invited, they either,depending on the person mind you,

a) show up and attend the party, graciously thanking the host forthe invitation and in general being on their best behavior. All the whilesilently mocking and taunting those who’d look down on them with their merepresence, like “Look I do get invited to parties, bet you’d hoped I hadn’tshown up, does my visage offend your eyes, well too bad” etc.

Or

b) they don’t “show up” atall, instead choosing to spy and eavesdrop on the others unseen to their heartscontent. Like if they do that even when they’re not invited, you can bet yoursweet butt they’re gonna be there obfuscating around when they actually do getinvited.

Also from what I’ve read from the clan books and other official (and sometimesfan) sources, the Nosferatu sometimes host parties among themselves and/or whenmembers of another brood visit. Despite the common asocial nature of mostnossies, they treat each other cordially and with the utmost politeness whenunderground in their warrens. The world above treats them like shitalready, so they have no desire nor need to bring such mannerisms into theirhomes. Which then results Nosferatu parties or gatherings often being ratherawkward affairs, if I recall correctly having read something along the lines of“nobody really wanting to be there yetnobody also wanting to miss out” or something like that. The gathering area good opportunity to swap information, and the host’s hospitality is always turnedto the maximum. 

Like if anyone’s watched L.A by night season 2 or played VtM:B,we know Gary would absolutely host afancy dinner party with candle light and a beautifully set table withsilverware, rats on the menu and everyone at least somewhat dressed up. Liketake the dinner party from LA by Night but amp it up to 11.

So let’s say our favourite L.A Nosferatu brood has been invited to aparty hosted by a not-a-nosferatu, that they have actually showed up to.

If they either don’t like the host or want to be there or both;

I can see Gary and Bertram being the most confident, atleast somewhat politely conversing with the host and other guests. Mitnick is absolutely out of hiselement kinda awkwardly shuffling around lurking in the corners. Imalia either follows her sire’s leador just hangs near Mitnick looking about as friendly as usual in the beautifuldress that her sire had got her. I’m not 100% sure about Barabus but if he does not wanna be there I can see him making thethe Uncomfortable Duo™ a trio, and they all might just leave and gohome or at least get out of sight. And collect some black mail material if theopportunity rises.

If they like the host and the atmosphere is good;

Gary being the entertainer heis would be in his element, even as a guest; still conversing with people andjoking around, maybe even dancing with his childe Imalia or someone else if thingsare going really well and such thing would be appropriate to the occasion. The hostwill definitely be enjoying the better nosferatu hospitality the next time theyfind themselves in Hollywood.

Both Bertram and Barabus would be more relaxed and maybeamuse themselves and others by boasting about their various encounters withdangers of the night and how they’ve gotten themselves out of hairy situationswith either strength or wit. That or they’re absolutely playing cards andmaking bets.

Even thought Mitnick wouldstill be a bit out of his element, he too would be much more relaxed, loungingon a sofa people watching and occasionally talking to people. The Nuclear Bombcode story will most likely be told more than once, among other memorable hackingstories.

Imalia will absolutely be dancing,or at least constantly swaying around. Her demeanor is also over all much morepleasant. Her outfit is even more on point, if that is even possible.

Anyway, this is just my take on this. I hope you enjoyed it!

[ikonfastfiction]

Laundry Day (Koo Junhoe x Reader Oneshot)

It’s just one of those days.

The weather’s nice for once, after a week-long cold spell. Everyone seems keen on spending time outdoors: picnics at the park, a long hike, an al fresco brunch at the corner café.

Everyone, it seems, except you. Because laundry day.

If you ever win the lottery - which will never happen because you never buy a ticket (and even if you did buy a ticket, John Oliver once said the chances of winning the lottery are as slim as you getting struck by lightning for the second time in the same place while being eaten by a shark) – your only extravagant spending would be to shop for clothes every week, wear them once and discard them, so you never have to do laundry ever again.

Of course, by then you can probably just hire someone to do the laundry for you, among other adulting things like doing dishes and cleaning your apartment. That would be a good way to spend your lottery winnings.

The thing is, at this particular moment, you don’t even really need to win the lottery to avoid doing laundry. On this lovely day, for instance, you could’ve just driven to your parents’ house, and your mom would’ve gladly taken your dirty clothes for her to wash because she likes to think you’re still her baby who needs her to do the laundry. You probably would’ve been treated to a delicious breakfast free-of-charge too.

But noooo. Because you’re so keen on proving to your parents that you’re already getting used to this whole living on your own, adulting thing, you stubbornly trudged to the laundromat this morning in your ugliest pair of sweatpants and rattiest shirt (they were the only clean clothes you had left) to do your own laundry. Even if it’s literally the last thing you want to do today.

“Am I supposed to separate the shirts and the pants?” a voice next to you says, to no one in particular, because the boy who said it seems to be talking to himself while looking at the clothes in his hands, a white shirt in one, black track pants on the other. His thick brows are furrowed in confusion, like hairy caterpillars headbutting each other at the center of his forehead.

He must’ve felt you staring at him because he suddenly jerks his head up and turns to you. He blinks once, twice, looking lost.

“Umm, you need to separate your white clothes from the other colors.”

“It doesn’t matter if they’re tops or bottoms?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm.” Lost Boy puts all his white clothes in one machine and the others in the machine next to it. “Good thing I only have black or white clothes,” he murmurs to himself.

“Hey, what am I supposed to do with this?” he turns to you again, this time with a pair of bright red boxers in his hand.

“Umm, wash it?” You tell him, looking away. It’s not that you’re a prude or anything, but it’s not every day that you have random guys just showing you their dirty underwear.

“Yeah, but do I need to put it in a new machine? It’s the only thing I have that’s red.”

Is this guy being serious? Does he really not know how laundry works? “You can mix it in with your black clothes, it’s fine.”

“Oh. Hmm.” Lost Boy grunts in acknowledgement before turning to his laundry again.

You almost want to move machines, far enough away from Lost Boy to ensure no more sightings of his underwear, but you’ve already put all your clothes in the washer, so you shut the door and start the cycle. In the corner of your eye, you see Lost Boy watching what you’re doing and doing the same thing. You pointedly ignore him, walking past him without making eye contact as you sit on a bench across the machines and start reading the book you brought with you to while the time away.

To your horror, he sits right next to you. The laundromat is literally empty except for the two of you and there are so many benches around that he can have all to himself, but he decides to sit next to you.

The weather is nice out, you don’t have work today, yet you’re stuck indoors, doing your most hated chore, with the weirdest boy ever.

“I’m Junhoe by the way. Thanks for the help,” Lost Boy says, extending a hand for you to shake.  “You probably think I’m super dumb. Can’t even do a bunch of laundry. It’s just this whole adulting thing is new to me, you know? I haven’t been on my own for very long.”

He smiles shyly, and you can’t help but notice the way it spreads to his entire face, his eyes turning into crescents and his cheeks lifting. He ruffles his dark hair and shrugs, fixing the way his shirt falls on his shoulders.

Maybe his candidness softens you up a little bit. Maybe you find a kindred spirit in him with his misadventures into adulting. You start to think that maybe you judged him a little too quickly.

“Can’t blame you. Living on your own is not easy. And I’ve been doing it a couple of years,” you assure him.

“Right? It’s like when you were playing house as a kid, except there’s nothing fun about it. I don’t know how to cook, so I keep burning everything – “

“I hate washing dishes.”

“Taking out the trash is a nightmare.”

“Cleaning the toilet is horrific.”

“The toilet! Oh that is the worst. Worst thing ever.”

After your litany of common complaints you lock eyes and can’t help but laugh at how whiney you’ve both become.

“Doing laundry is the actual worst though. So boring,” you say before you turn back to your book.

“Hmm. I don’t know. I think it has its charms,” he says, and when you look up from your book to look at him, he’s looking right back at you with his puppy dog eyes and a goofy smile on his face.

Well.  

Your little staring contest is interrupted by the beeps of the washing machines, and somehow it feels like a spell has been broken. You both stand up to collect your clothes. But as soon as you open the door to your washing machine, it hits you.

You forgot to put detergent before you started the cycle.

You bury your face in your hands and sigh loudly in frustration.

“A-are you okay?” Junhoe asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s nothing. I just forgot to put detergent in the machine so now I have to start over again. I’m so stupid.”

Resolved to your fate of being stuck in this laundromat for the entire day, you’re about to get detergent when Junhoe opens the door to his machine, steps back, and scratches his head.

“Would you look at that. I forgot to put detergent in my machine too.” He turns to you with the brightest smile you’ve ever seen, as if he’s won the lottery instead of having been sentenced to another eternity of waiting for a laundry cycle to finish.

Maybe his smile, however misplaced, cheers you up a little bit. Maybe the thought that at least you still get to spend time with him makes you feel a little better about your little mistake.

You both end up getting detergent and starting the cycles on your machines again. In a parallel universe where you’re just as absentminded but without this weird, Lost Boy Junhoe around, this would’ve been the worst day. But because he’s here, maybe it isn’t so bad.

“So hey, do you wanna grab a bite to eat or something? While we wait for the laundry and all,” Junhoe asks you all of a sudden.

“We’re not supposed to leave our laundry unattended.”

“There’s no one in attendance to witness us leaving our laundry unattended. Come on, it’s such a nice day! We can sit outside at the café and share a pie or something.” He smiles that megawatt smile of his again, and you realize he has the kind of smile and stare that will make it nearly impossible for anyone to say no to him.

So naturally, you say yes.

“It’s a good thing you suck at doing laundry like me,” you tell him as you walk out of the laundromat to head for the café. “I mean what are the chances of both of us forgetting to put detergent in?”

“I know. It’s like the universe is trying to tell us something,” he teases with a knowing grin.

    *****

Junhoe opens the door of the laundromat for her. He’s not entirely sure what drew him to her from the very beginning. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s wearing a plain white shirt and black track pants almost identical to his. Maybe it’s the way she was humming a tune to herself when she thought there was no one else at the laundromat with her. Maybe it’s the amount of patience she demonstrated when he asked her all those stupid questions. Maybe it was the cute way she puffed her cheeks and pouted when she realized the mistake she made with the laundry.

 Good thing he accidentally-on-purpose made the same mistake she did.

 Once he’s back in Seoul, he’s definitely telling Chanwoo this story – if you ever want to meet a girl, forget to put detergent in the machine with your laundry.  

-------

Download a copy of the YA romance ‘The #iHateJunhoeClub’ for free here!

[disinfecto]

Are you taking care of your cat in the right way?

In case you're another feline parent, we should make it extremely evident that in opposition to prevalent sentiment, felines aren't completely free pets. From anti-tick for cats solutions for other pet items for them, they do require care and support which usually is neglected by feline guardians. Thus, on the off chance that you truly need that murmur affect your relationship with your little hairy amigo then you need to comprehend what are the most well-known missteps you wind up making with felines and how to effortlessly handle them!

Try not to race into purchasing a feline Let's start from the nuts and bolts – purchasing a feline. Purchasing pets are for the most part known to be an incautious choice that you make when you see those charming cat eyes or a feline needing an asylum else it will not endure. Also, however your motion in both these situations is real, don't tragically buy a feline in beat. Along these lines, ensure that before you really proceed with purchasing a feline your courses of action for its visit, sensitivities, food, rest, personalities, and different prerequisites are set up. I don't anticipate that you should have a 'what's in store when you're expecting' book prepared with your exploration, yet address the essentials of how felines act, what do they eat, what are their upkeep costs, what breed suits the climate you stay in, and so on Perhaps the most ideal approaches to guarantee that you are settling on the correct choice for your feline you can peruse "pet accessories shops near me" on the web and afterward contact the businesspeople to get some answers concerning pet raisers or salvage pets.

Taking care of your fuzzy companion Now that your little cat is home, the two things any feline necessities to endure are food and space. You would be astonished to discover that according to the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention, more than 60% of American felines are overweight because of absence of consideration by proprietors on the dietary necessities of their felines. So ensure you're not after the deep rooted mantra of leaving a bowl of food outside for your feline accepting that it can comprehend its own dietary necessities. After a couple of vet visits, you can appropriately assess how much food your feline necessities in one go and how frequently it should be taken care of in a day. Its additionally imperative to guarantee you are taking care of them the correct sort of feline food. Above all else let me say this noisy and clear – felines can't eat canine food! Felines ought not eat canine food! 

  3.Felines won't eat canine food! Due to the less assortment and less mindfulness about feline food, a great deal of my kindred feline guardians wind up purchasing fish-enhanced canine food. So lets start with putting forth the attempt to discover pet products online in Lucknow  (or whichever city you're living in). Also, in any event, when you do track down a pet item online in your city with feline food ensure that it has a great deal of protein and meat. You likewise have the alternative of going for hand crafted feline food, however even all things considered make certain to add as much mineral-rich and nutrient rich food and not to add an excessive number of fillers like grains.

Ensure your feline stays hydrated notwithstanding their food necessities, you should ensure that your felines get new water in any event double a day. Being fuzzy causes them to retain considerably more warmth than they need, so on the off chance that you don't help keep their bodies hydrated they can get irritable, hot, or even flee! Additionally it appears to be judicious to keep a feline's food bowl and water bowl next to each other, yet its not! Felines do invest a ton of energy close to their food bowls thus feline guardians want to keep the water bowl close to it would help make them drink more water. Be that as it may, really the water may gather a great deal of residue and hide from the feline and make the water filthy. There are likewise these earthenware drinking fountains on numerous stores for pet products online that I discover are ideal for giving new water to felines without letting residue and hide get into it.

Preparing a feline's hide is certainly not a simple accomplishment. We should proceed onward to preparing now. In the event that your feline doesn't let out fur balls occasionally I recommend asking the vet what's going on with it. Since felines frequently self-clean and ingest their own free hide (lose hide is the top-most layer of their hide which establishes all the dead skin to be shed off). So regardless of any sort of preparing endeavors from your side, your feline will ingest its hide and let out hide balls. The genuine inquiry is what amount is it ingesting? Assuming you don't routinely brush and brush your feline, odds are that your feline is devouring the entirety of its loose hide. So whether it has a long hide or short hide, a speedy brushing meeting once in 2 days will help ward off skin diseases, knicks, knots, and sensitive areas. Furthermore, after your day by day brushing meetings you can apply some flea and tick remover  creams or powders to get your feline far from diseases.

Train your feline to utilize scratching stations Another standard that you should add to upgrade your feline's preparation is preparing it to adhere to one specific scratching post. Felines truly scratch a great deal of furniture since they need to eliminate the external sheath of their hooks. This scratching propensity can truly destroy your furnishings, yet feline guardians regularly accept that this is exactly what occurs with felines. However, there is an answer for this, fire setting up scratching stations. At whatever point your feline begins scratching around, take them to the scratching station and ensure there are cardboard scratchers, comparative pieces so the feline has something to scratch. A favorable to tip for this is add some feline nip to these scratching stations to get the felines come to it. Also, for the great furniture that you don't need them to scratch on you can apply some canine repellent splash since canine repellent showers function admirably for normally getting canines and felines far from specific spots and furniture in your home.

Simply attempt to purchase a wide range of fundamental items like feline and canine repellent showers, insect and tick removers, and whatever else your feline may require from trustable stores of pet items on the web. Yet, as overpowering as this may sound, plan it out well and I am certain your feline will turn into your closest companion. However, remember that usually its not you who claims your feline but rather the reverse way around!  

Original Source - Disinfecto

[jakey-beefed-it]

The First Lesson

not quite a first contact story but the first meeting between the leader of my Craftworld Aeldari and the foremost exodite leader of the Maiden World they’re trying to settle.

The Falcon shuddered faintly as it made contact with Almenor's upper atmosphere, and Alethea shifted in her chair. Falcons were perfectly safe for transatmospheric operations. Just because they typically traveled between worlds entirely through the Webway, and the slightest hull breach here would mean burning to ash even as you were sucked screaming soundlessly into near-void... She cleared her throat. Perfectly safe.

She shared the cabin with four others in robes like her own, save less ornate, and one in a worn cloak over form-fitting armor. It was to the cloaked figure she turned her attention- a Ranger named Lirien who had dwelt among the Almenori for over a local decade, learning their languages and their customs. “You've met the 'High King,' she said. What do you think I need to know before we land?”

Lirien offered a slight shrug. “Tarren Calraenon. Tarren is the House name, and the way one addresses their aristocracy- only the subject class and intimates commonly use personal names with each other. Tarren rules the largest and most powerful empire on Almenor- the so-called 'Sunset Kingdom,' presumably because it is bordered to the west only by ocean. The product of a few generations of self-styled royalty, with all the arrogance you might expect. Not unreasonable despite that- a clear thinker with a level head. He's suspicious of psykers, like  most other primitives. Not without reason- his people fought a long and bloody war against what they call the 'Northern Witches'.”

Alethea frowned. “Yet he requested to meet with a Seer?”

“You, specifically. He seemed to think he had the right, as the leader of a realm he considers powerful, to meet with our High Farseer-” Lirien smirked faintly “-as an equal.”

One of the warlocks let out a faint chuckle, but Alethea only sighed. “I'd rather meet with whatever bureaucratic body actually manages the Sunset Kingdom, but I can meet with their bloody-handed autocrat if it will smooth over efforts to build arcologies near their borders. Even with the absence of...” of my parents “...of the Ynnari Devoted we still have seventeen billion longing to set foot upon our prophesied home. I'd rather do so with local cooperation- they may be primitive, but they are Aeldari.”

Lirien grunted agreement, then spoke. “Farseer, my personal assessment?” Alethea nodded. “King Tarren is a hairy-chinned savage and a jumped-up tribal strongman, but he's not stupid. He has known that the Craftworld was coming for years, though he did not expect it to arrive so suddenly, or to be so large, or powerful. He knows or suspects that we mean to settle Almenor, and he knows full well he cannot hope to resist us by force of arms. Any rival he has had before who had him at such a disadvantage would not have hesitated to crush him, yet we have been only diplomatic, even friendly. This has to seem incredibly suspicious to him. This meeting is a negotiated surrender. He wants to maintain his prestige and his lifestyle, though he knows the time of his dominance is passing.”

Alethea grimaced. “He is a child sitting atop a castle of sand and expects us to kick it over because we can?”

“Almenor is deeply backward, Farseer. Such has been the way of their warring realms for all their history. Likely since before Tel-Rethan embarked across the void. They are Aeldari more like the first children of Isha than we- hot-blooded and fickle and cruel, without the Paths to temper their surging passions.”

One of the warlocks spoke, his voice hollow within his helm of ivory and gold. “Might they attempt to take us- or at least the Farseer -hostage? To strengthen their negotiations?”

Lirien laughed. “They tried to take some of the Rangers hostage, once. There were six of us, and perhaps a thousand of their own foresters armed with recurve bows. All six of us returned to Tel-Rethan, though Haleth has a limp now. That was only Rangers, and we weren't expecting an attack. I don't think they'll trifle with four 'witches' and our Witch-Queen, much less a squadron of Falcons carrying your honor guard.”

“Witch-Queen?” Alethea snorted. “They're as socially backward as the Imperium, and as hierarchical as the Caliranites or Iyanden but without the history of mutual aid to endear them to us. Delightful.”

“They're intensely hierarchical,” Lirien concluded. “It seems to fulfill some of the same social role for them as our own Paths do for us. You.” She winced and Alethea resisted the urge to smile. Most Rangers came back, after all- it was only a matter of time. “At any rate, you're the closest thing Tel-Rethan has to royalty, as they understand it. To mistreat you would be to court destruction. They won't risk it.”

The intercom opened, the pilot giving a nervous cough. “Prepare for landing,” he said. Alethea felt a solid thump as the Falcon alighted, and she scowled. Either the grav-tank needed maintenance, or the pilot was inexperienced. After a moment, her ire subsided before an all-consuming sorrow that threatened to spoil her poise. Most of their veterans had gone with the Ynnari. With her parents.

They would not return.

She and her escort stood as the rear hatch lowered to the ground, stepping forth into bright orange sunlight. There was a fragrant breeze, rich with heady scents of flowering plants and a recent storm, and carrying a hint of the ocean. The sky was a deep azure, fading to purple at the horizons, and full of white and grey clouds. Above them, to the south, shone the icy equatorial rings. She took and held a deep breath, centering herself once more.

Before them stood the High King and his own honor guard- an array of warriors clad in overlapping wraithbone plates, darkly colored silk garments, hair gathered into long tails or topknots save the King, who wore it long and loose. He was tall and athletic and clean, and he really did have hair on his chin, though trim and short instead of the ancient kingly beard of Asuryan. She hid her amusement. Aeldari did not usually grow hair upon their faces until wizened, and often not even then. Her own father had tried to grow a mustache once. It had been awful.

At least it was only on his chin- his neck, jawline, and upper lip were properly bare. His skin was pale with golden undertones, his hair blue-black, his eyes a bright amber, his bearing haughty as she expected. He wore the same style of armor as his guard, though chased in gold and topped with a fur-lined cloak. A great curving sword- ceremonial, perhaps -hung across his back.

They stood in an open courtyard full of stone walkways and blossoming trees that sighed and shed their petals softly all around in the steady breeze. She closed her eyes and let the moment impress itself upon her memory- the first time breathing the air and seeing the very surface of the promised home, aching in its vibrant but transient beauty. Then she strode forward, stopping a few paces from the High King and his entourage. Tarren met her gaze, eyes widening. After a moment, he offered a very slight bow- the barest inclination of his head. Behind him there was a soft gasp.

Alethea understood the meaning well enough- he was greeting her as an equal. While she would have extended the same courtesy to any of the Rethani, it could not have been clearer that it was shocking to the primitives that their king acknowledged anyone as his equal. She mirrored his bow- a tilt of the chin and only the slightest movement of the neck. It seemed to appease him, for he spoke briefly.

Lirien stepped forward and translated. “High King Tarren Calraenon, First of His Name, Suzerain of the Sunset Kingdom and all subject lands, Conqueror of the Northern Cabal, extends greetings to the Witch-Queen of the star-born kindred, may her reign among them be untroubled and long.”

“We've got to come up with a better translation for 'High Farseer' than 'Witch-Queen,'” she muttered to the Ranger. Then, speaking in a high, clear voice, she proclaimed “I am High Farseer Alethea Meshadi Siamun Ar-Baharran, daughter of Keuna Meshadi Siamun Almorai, and I speak for the Rethani, who you call the star-born kindred. I greet you in kind, High King, and extend my hope that your realm remain untroubled.”

Lirien cleared her throat. “That... might sound like a threat. You should say instead that you hope his reign remain untroubled, unless you mean to depose him.”

Alethea pursed her lips. “Then extend my hope that his reign remain untroubled. It is not our place to depose him- that is for his own people, if they so choose once they see how free Aeldari live.” She looked at the Ranger out of the corner of her eye. “Don't translate that last part.”

“Wouldn't dream of it.” Lirien conveyed her other words in the local tongue, and they seemed to go over well. The High King conferred briefly with an aide, and spoke again with a rising inflection. “He's asking if you want them to bring out a table and something to eat so you can discuss 'important matters' on a full stomach. It's customary to share a meal with allies before coming to business- it would go a long way toward showing them you mean no harm.”

After the bumpy descent, food was the last thing Alethea wanted. But she exhaled softly through her nose, and said “Very well.” At first, the servants only brought two chairs, but Alethea insisted on a chair and food for Lirien, since she would be needed to translate any dinner conversation. Though the servants appeared faintly scandalized, Tarren acquiesced, appearing to take it as simply another strangeness of the 'star-born' piled atop all the others.

There was a wide array of sweet fruits served before the main course, most of which she enjoyed. As there was no tableware, they ate with their hands. Next came a spicy broth with breaded vegetables that was served bubbling hot- enough that she didn't fret about biological contamination. Again there was no tableware, so she held the ceramic bowl in her hands and sipped. At last, the main course arrived- thin slivers of some sort of local game animal (once named, Lirien described it as a sort of wild lizard-boar the aristocrats hunted for sport and prestige) served over a bed of rice, provided with a two-pronged fork and a triangular sort of spoon to eat with and a small dish full of piquant sauce alongside for dipping. She watched the King devour his portion eagerly, and set about trying her own.

The meat was unlike anything she'd ever tasted- tougher and stronger-flavored than the livestock aboard Tel-Rethan. The sauce only enhanced the strangeness, but she found herself salivating like a starving child after the first bite. She and Lirien both cleared their plates, which seemed to please their host, and he sent for another serving for all of them. Once that was done, he spoke quickly with Lirien, back and forth for a moment, before the Ranger turned to translate.

“He's curious as to what we normally eat. I explained about the garden districts and solaria as well as our other small colonies that raise livestock. He seems to know about the Webway already- says it's something the 'Northern Witches' took advantage off in ages past, but they lost the secret of it.”

Alethea blinked. “Is the Waystone intact?”

Lirien relayed her question, carrying on at much greater length than Alethea would have expected. At last she shrugged. “He doesn't know, but travelers describe it as 'fallen'. It could be mostly intact and simply need a bit of repair, or it could be rubble. He's offered to send his own foresters to investigate, but it could be dangerous... perhaps we should send our own Rangers instead.”

She briefly chewed the inside of her lip. “Would it damage his pride if we did? Or would it show that we care about the well-being of his people?”

“I'm...” Lirien flushed faintly. “I'm not entirely certain, to be honest. The Sunset Kingdom's aristocracy is notoriously sensitive to matters of honor but they also have an elaborate system for trading favors. I'm afraid I don't really understand it- most of the people I've interacted with have been from the servile class.”

“Tell him...” he was watching her closely, trying to read her tone most likely. “Tell him we would be honored to accept his people's aid in this matter, and offer to bolster their ranks with some of our own if he so desires.”

As Lirien translated, Tarren gradually assumed a pensive look. He was silent for a time before speaking briefly. Lirien coughed awkwardly and asked him something- he nodded sharply.

“What is it?” Had she given mortal offense? Alethea quietly gathered her will like the weapon it was, and prepared to defend her party.

“He says you are as wise as you are beautiful.”

Alethea closed her eyes for a moment rather than roll them extravagantly. At least it wasn't an attack. “How kind.”

Her muted response seemed to deter him. Tarren spoke more warily for some time, pausing now and again to clarify a point with Lirien. At last, she relayed the rest of his words. “He spent a lot of time praising the beauty of the Rethani generally- not surprising, every one of us is as well-nourished and cared for as their highest aristocrats -and you specifically. What he said after all that was that he hopes you will be gracious to his people.”

“What? Why wouldn't I be?”

“It's customary for local realms to enslave a portion of the population of any realm they conquer.”

“Conquer?” Alethea's blood ran cold. “They think we came this far to subject our own people to the lash?”

Tarren suddenly moved back from the table, unsheathing his great sword in a practiced motion. Alethea leapt to her own feet, thrusting forward one hand in an arcane gesture. But Tarren went to his knees, bowing his head, and offering the sword. Behind him, all his honor guard and courtiers followed suit, sinking to their knees, then pressing their foreheads to the ground.

Deep, slow breaths. Her heart slowed again. At last, Alethea spoke, her voice clipped. “What is the meaning of this?”

Tarren spoke quickly in his own language, and Lirien gaped.

“What is it?”

“He... he realizes he's given you deadly offense somehow, and offers you his own life in exchange for that of his kingdom. He begs you in the name of the gods to spare his people, to be satisfied with venting all your wrath upon him and not bring ruin to the... he called them the 'little people,' he means the commoners.”

“Isha's tears,” Alethea breathed. “He doesn't understand anything.” She gazed at the genuflecting crowd, her stomach roiling, her breath caught in her throat. Aeldari pressing their faces to the ground like... like humans with their golden idols. Her mouth flooded and she swallowed against a surge of nausea.

“Tell them to rise. All of them.” Lirien translated, but they did not move. “Tell them we come not to conquer, but to teach. And this is their first lesson- Aeldari do not kneel.”

[strangetalesofnumenera]

Trouble In The Trees

“So, first you were born.”

“Of course.”

“And then you grew old.”

“Yeah, like, really really old.”

“Older than Gurner Fron?”

“Nobody’s that old.”

“Really?”

“Really. I overhead the knows all those stories because he was there for them.”

“Because you weren’t even alive for one whole day.”

“Right”

“But then you died.”

“U-huh.”

“And then you were born again.”

“Yep.”

“The very next day?”

“Yes.”

“And this happened every single day?”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“Around ten years, I think? It sort of grew hazy there for a few years.”

“And all because some mean old witch in a place really, really far away from here decided to put a curse on your parents.”

“That’s right.”

Ro thought about Nir’s story for a moment, laying back and floating on top of the water. It was a rare moment when the friends actually had a few free hours at the same time, so they had decided to go bathe in the river after a particularly grueling session training with Hiero.

Nir still wasn’t sure about the strange automaton, but her and Ro had become fast friends, nearly inseparable during those rare moments when they were both free at the same time.

Usually, their time together involved training. Nir recognized in Ro a kindred spirit, someone who, like her, was misunderstood, but had an intense desire to be worthy of the real heroes around her.

Unfortunately, Ro’s hero was Hiero, the Blundering Idiot who Talks Too Much. At least his heart was in the right place; he wanted to help save the town, even if he was determined to be the big hero like one of the characters in Gurner Fron’s stories. She did enjoy getting up in the morning and going to his training sessions. They were of dubious value to most of his forced trainees, but she couldn’t deny at least his skill as a fighter. Besides, she had fun, and took the opportunity to spar against the automaton on an almost daily basis once he had let the others go.

“You know, it sounds like this witch needs some hero to come teach her a lesson.”

“Maybe you and me could do it together.”

“I don’t know. Maybe with Hiero’s help. I’m sure he could handle her.”

“You should give yourself more credit. You’re better with a spear than I am, and quick, I’m sure you’ll be a great hero soon.”

Ro smiled at the compliment. “I don’t know, but I’m going to try.”

The two swam in the cool water for a few more minutes before getting dressed and heading back toward the village. As they passed through a copse of trees, Nir became aware of a snorting sound, like a large animal but unlike any animal she had ever actually heard.

She put a hand out to stop her companion. “Ro, there’s something here with us,” she whispered, looking around.

“I know, I heard it, too.”

“Why don’t you climb a tree and see if you can spot it, I’ll look around down here.”

“Okay.”

Nir watched her friend disappear up into the branches, then followed the sound, keeping pace as Ro climbed from tree to tree.

The source appeared to be a large man, close to eight feet in height, and covered in thick, coarse fur, but otherwise naked. Instead of feet, it had hooves, and what appeared to be small horns growing from it’s head. It carried what appeared to be some sort of spear made of large bones lashed together, studded with sharp teeth.

Margr! screamed Nir’s instincts. Her parents had told her about the nature of the goat people threatening the town. She looked up to the trees and made eye contact with Ro. Using had gestures to develop a plan silently, the young visitant stepped out behind the monster, hoping she was being as stealthy as she felt.

As Nir drew close to the creature, she stepped out from behind a tree and found herself looking into the thing’s hairy face. She let out a small yelp as a powerful hand hit her in the side of the head, smashing the side of her face into the trunk. Dazed, Nir fell to the ground, seeing her death in the margr’s eyes as it stood over. It lifted its spear for the killing blow as it let loose an otherworldly victory yell. The celebration was cut short, however, as a small knife emerged from its throat, the goat-person’s eyes barely having time to register its surprise before it fell over dead.

Ro rode the dying creature to the ground, losing her weapon as the motion twisted it from her grasp. She grabbed her barely conscious companion under an one an arm, trying to help her to her feet and shake her out of her stupor.

The mutant began to panic as the sound of more of the goat-men drifted toward her through the trees. “Nir, please, we need to get out of here. I think there are more of them.” The small mutant grabbed her much larger friend by the hands, determined to drag her back to town if necessary.

A roar drew her attention to a trio of margr emerging from the brush, all between the pair and their destination.

Nir was late. Nir was never late. Id was only mildly annoyed because he needed her to deliver a bundle of explosives to the watchtower for testing. The new design involved attaching a small winged engine to a standard detonation cypher, allowing a user to throw it at targets that were far away.

He guessed that she had probably just lost track of time during her morning training sessions with the machine knight and the little mutant who followed it around. He was glad that she’d found something that both made her happy and would be of use in the defense of the town, but she had other duties, and he knew her parents would never let her anywhere near the actual fighting when the time finally came.

Deciding to track her down once the delivery was complete, Id grabbed the heavily padded crate into which he’d packed the weapons, as well as a special item he had built specifically for Ro, Nir’s mutant friend. He’d watched a couple of their training sessions and had found himself impressed by the skill of one so young, so he took it upon himself to make her a weapon that might give her an advantage over foes much larger then herself, like the margr. Now would be as good of a time as any to deliver it. He would also finally have a word with their teacher about his methods. Too often, Nir arrived with blood trickling from her nose, sometimes her ears, as well. One time it had even been coming from her eyes. The wounds were a telltale sign of the kind of a blow to the head that would lead to damage of the brain, especially in one as young as her.

Biris, one of Dora Redmire’s sons, was on watch when he showed up with his delivery.

“Good morning, Id. What do you have there?”

“Prototypes for a new weapon. This needs to be handled very carefully. I’ve already shown them to Nieten and Brucha, so they’ll be coming by later to test these and let me know what they think. Please take care of them until then.”

“Will do, my friend. I have to admit, though, I’m surprised you’re bringing these yourself. Where’s Nir this morning?”

“I believe she’s still at her training with Hiero Sol. I intend to locate her just as soon as I climb down from here.”

“She can’t be, walked past not 5 minutes ago.”

“Did you see where he was headed?”

Biris pointed East, toward an impromptu inn that had sprung up to house some of the other newcomers to the village. Id thanked the boy and climbed down the ladder. 

“Tell her I said hi when you find her, would you?” The boy’s voice came floating down after him, and Id shook his head in amusement. Human mating rituals were a bizarre thing to witness.

Hiero was, indeed, in the small inn, conversing with a small group of patrons. “Hiero Sol, a word, please?”

The much larger automaton turned to him in surprise. “Ah! It is you!” It pointed a finger in the air as if to declare a fact known only to himself. “I have seen you around the village! You are the strange one who makes medicine one day and weapons the next! Nir helps you at your shop!” Hiero listed the facts as if trying to convince Id of his own identity.

“Indeed. My name is Id, and I have actually come to find her, she is late and I had need of her assistance this morning. Do you know where she might be?”

“I do not. She left training with Ro two hours ago. She was actually supposed to meet me here right now, but these fine gentlemen were telling me that they haven’t seen her. It is unlike Ro to be late. She is a promising hero in training!”

“Do you have any idea where they went?”

“No, but I know they often play together amongst the trees near the river, that would be a good place to start.”

“Good, let’s get going. The sooner we find them, the sooner I can get back to the shop and the list of things I need to accomplish today.”

“Indeed!” Hiero struck a pose that Id wasn’t sure wasn’t supposed to satirize what actual heroism looked like. “I am Hiero Sol, Champion of Starlight and Defender of Humanity, and I will not let you down!”

Id just shook his head as the strange pair of living machines set off to find the errant children.

Ro watched as the margr split up to surround her. Hiero wouldn’t be afraid, so she couldn’t let herself be. She had to be brave. She had to fight. Nir’s life depended on her, and she refused to let her friend die.

Swallowing her fear, Ro drew her weapon from where it was still lodged in the dead one’s throat. She flicked the blood from the blade and fell into a fighting stance, straddling her fallen friend protectively and focusing on the one in the center, the large one, the one clearly giving orders to the others, even if she couldn’t understand their snarling, snorting language.

Her best bet was surprise. Maybe if she caught them off-guard she would stand a chance. She launched herself at the center one with a scream, hoping to surprise it. The creature was deceptively fast for its size, stopping her airborne assault with a well-timed foot to her chest that it used to slam her to the ground, pinning the small mutant.

Ro panicked, squirming, struggling for breath beneath the thing’s weight.  She watched in horror as the other two emerged from the brush. The larger of those two stopped to grab Nir from where she had fallen, lifting her by the hair as the visitant’s four arms swatted at it feebly.

A nearly blinding light pierced the shade of the small grove, enveloping the margr to the right, and the one holding Nir gave a brief squeal of surprise before it simply disappeared as though it had never been there, leaving the girl to fall back to the ground.

There, toward the town, Ro spotted the glorious sight of Hiero Sol, Champion of Starlight and Defender of Humanity, and Id, the other machine person. Nir’s friend.

“Three on two is not very honorable combat, you fiend! And attacking children no less! You must be taught a lesson!”

Hiero’s words came as a welcome distraction, and Ro used it to free herself from beneath the creature’s foot. Something that looked like a miniature spear, about one foot long, with a flanged tip landed near her as she rolled. Any weapon was better than no weapon, so she picked it up as she scrambled to her feet, improvising a fighting stance with the strange weapon. As soon as she lifted it into a fighting position, a lance of hot, white energy emerged, nearly twice as tall as she was but weighing no more than a knife.

“Hey, gallen-breath, my name is Ro, Champion of, of,” Ro couldn’t think of anything right away, so she used the first thing she saw. “Of trees! Defender of Humanity! In the name of the village of Ellomyr, I am placing you under arrest for spying, for having an unlicensed army, and for attacking the town’s defenders!”

The margr spun back toward the girl while Hiero nodded emphatically and gave her an encouraging hand gesture. It screamed and charged. Instinctively, she brought the strange weapon to bear. The monster nimbly dodged the tip of the spear and brought its own weapon up to strike.

Defenseless, Ro watched as the tip drove toward her face. She brought her weapon back across frantically, hoping to parry the blow enough to avoid dying. Instead, she watched  as her spear of energy connected with the bone weapon in an explosion of energy that knocked both combatants several feet backward.

The mutant fighter rolled backwards painfully, once, before slamming into a tree, knocking the wind out of her. The margr flew threw the air and landed on its back hard, its weapon destroyed, but quickly recovered. In a rage, it charged right toward Ro on all fours, snarling as it crossed the relatively short distance faster than the girl could hope to avoid.

Realizing she still held the strange device, she reacted almost instinctively, holding it out in front of her. Energy flared from it and as the creature drew near, lancing out to pierce through its face and skull, coming out the back near the base of its skull, stopping the margr dead in its tracks. The creature’s fur smoldered, nearly catching fire as the dead beast man fell over.

Ro watched in shock at the ease with which her opponent died, while Hiero applauded. She came back to her senses at the sound of a low whimper to the side. She stood to see Nir trying to push herself up. She rushed over and helped her friend. “Hiero, help! She’s hurt bad!”

The two automata rushed over, scooping up the injured children. Nir squeezed Ro's hand as they set off back toward the village. "Next time, I'm going to make you tell me where you came from, okay?"

"Mmm-hmm," responded Ro, barely registering the question as she passed out in Hiero's arms.

[outdoorfads]

10 Incredibly Safe Berries to Eat In The Wild

Hey there, adventurer. You are probably preparing for your next camping or hiking trip, or you are up the hills already and need information on the best ways to stay alive, So you have seen some clusters of berries during your trips and wondered if they are safe to eat or you need forehand information on the ones you will come across in the long run. Well, you are in the right place because we have brought you a list of the safe berries to eat in the wild when next you are out.

The Awesomeness of Berries isn’t news, apart from being succulent(pop with no seeds) and tasty they are also multifaceted fruits that can take various appearances, they could be tarts, jam or jelly. Berries can grow in different climates, so there is a berry for every climate, they are also beneficial to the body system.

Here is the deal, lots of berries are great for the body, but some kill or cause great pain to the body with just a bite or touch. It is better to stay alive than getting killed by some fruit due to lack of information, and this is why we have brought you a list of edible berries today so you would know the next time you see one.

10 Wild Berries You Can Eat

1. Huckleberries

Huckleberries are a part of the Gaylussacia species of the Ericaceae family which makes it a kindred to blueberry due to their similar small, round and bluish look one might think they are the same but huckleberries come in other colors. You will identify huckleberry by:

Its shallow roots which are growing from an underground patch.

Its young stem leaves are most times hairy.

Their colors which could be blue, bright red or darkish purple

The taste, when eaten, is sour or tart.

Their many tiny seeds.

According to experts, Huckleberries are excellent for the body, and they are one of the most significant carriers of antioxidants that helps improve the body’s blood sugar and insulin level.

2. Cloudberries

Cloudberries are distinct in color. Their amber-yellow color is why it’s called the “gold of the artic.” In shape, they look similar to raspberry because of the small clustered balls which form as one. You identify cloudberries with;

Creepy and shrub-like roots, they grow in bushes.

Their habitat is damp fields with low acidity and direct sunlight.

Being around mosses or mashes.

Fruits that are yellow when ripe, red-yellow when unripe.

Its sweet and juicy taste.

With a Vitamin C level that is four times as equal to that of an orange, cloudberries provide adequate nutrients.

3. Gooseberries

Gooseberries almost look like currants but for their green color when unripe and red purplish when ripe, they also come in other colors like red or white. If you happen to see this berry, you can harvest both the ripe and unripe ones; ripe is best for eating directly while the unripe ones work best as jams and jellies because they contain pectin(source-careomnia.com). If you see something that looks like gooseberries and you need to confirm, here are things you can check:

Branches that are thick and spiny.

They are green when ripe, red-purplish when ripe.

They have bell-shaped flowers that grow in 4-5 clusters.

These berries could be sour or sweet, and they have a large component of water in them, which is great when hiking. And according to  Elise Mandl, gooseberries are great for your brain, body sugar, and weight.

4. Buffaloberries

Buffaloberries are also known as Bullberry or Shepherdia. It has two variants which are shepherdis Argentina or Canadensis. They both have similar fruits. Distinguish Buffaloberries through:

Dark red color with little white dots on them.

Their composition in large shrubs or small trees.

Growing in dry locations.

Their long spiny stems with thorns about 3cm high.

Half Green and Half Silver leaves that go brown in May/June.

They grow in clusters, one pluck rewards about 10 and more berries.

They are sour in summer and get tastier in the colder seasons, these berries are rich in vitamin C and antioxidants. But be careful not to take them in large quantities; otherwise, you get digestive irritation.

5. Salmonberries

Salmonberries are known for their decorative flowers, their yellow color similarity with cloudberry and matching form with raspberry. You would be able to know salmonberries through:

Location at moist and wetlands.

Erect and arching woody stems with prickles on them.

Single leaf growing in three folds. The middle leaflet longer than the two at the sides.

Pinkish-Purple flowers with five petals, they bloom around March to June.

Globose shaped Fruits similar to the raspberry.

Ripe fruits turn deep red when ripe.

Salmonberries are sometimes said to be flavorless. It has a high moisture content, which makes it a great source of water when eaten. It also has high vitamin content.

6. Elderberries

Elderberries are known to be very medicinal plants, and they are also best eaten when it’s cooked while harvesting them be careful with the leaves and barks which are poisonous. Identify one by:

Its location in wet and swampy areas.

Its shrub or tree-like structure which goes about 6ft in length and weight.

Juicy flesh which surrounds the central pit revealed when the berry is split.

Their ivory-white colored flowers.

Blue-black fruits that grow in drooping clusters.

Their flowers have sweet fragrances. Elderberries have low calories, high in vitamin c, and dietary fiber that aids digestion (Heathline).

7. Chokeberry

Chokeberry, also known as Aronia berry got their name because of the sharp mouth-drying sensation the berries give when eaten. They can be eaten raw but taste better when processed. They are either purple or black and are known for their:

Shrub or tree-like structure that can get to 4ft tall in width and length.

Leaves are glossy and dark green.

Flowers are vibrant white with five petals.

Fruits are in bunches.

Pea-sized Fruits.

Chokeberries can be eaten raw or added to oatmeal and yogurts for breakfast. According to Health Benefits Times, these berries are known to help with weight loss, eye and, skin improvement, and help prevent viruses.

8. Mulberries

Mulberries are fruits of very tall trees. They look similar to blackberries but are quite different. They produce a delightful and vanilla-like taste when ripe. It is better to avoid eating its unripe fruits because it is said to carry some toxic substances. Mulberries are best identified with:

Tall trees which go about 30-50ft tall.

The leaves grow side by side and in simple forms.

multiple fruits which rest on a dangling fig of about 2-3cm long.

Unripe mulberries are green, white or pale yellow. The fruit goes pink or red when ripening then goes dark purple when ripe.

Mulberries come in various species; white, red and black. They are known for their very strong flavor, and they have Vitamin C and Iron in their Nutritional composition.

9. Saskatoon Berries

Saskatoon Berries grow from shrubs and very tall trees, and they are small dark-purplish fruits that look similar to blueberries. They are known to ripen even after plucking, which makes it easier to freeze till consumption. They have a sweet, almondy taste. Theses berries are easily identified by:

Their growth in a well-drained and loamy soil.

Trees growing to about 3-26 ft in height.

Roots growing in colonies.

Their white flowers with five separate petals.

They have been said to help people with Parkinson’s disease, provide the daily requirement of calcium and high in iron (As written by Deana Steele).

10. Muscadines

Muscadines are grapes since it is a variety of grapevine plants. They might not be a favorite for eating due to their thick skin, but these berries make wines, jellies, and, juices. So, if you see a plant with:

Tall trees with spiny branches,

Location at warm and humid areas,

Fruits growing in bunches with at least five in one pluck,

Hard skin fruits which are green when unripe then bronze, black or red when ripe,

It is most likely muscadine. You might not enjoy eating this but be sure to try some of it in wines or jellies. Organic facts say they are great for cardiovascular, digestion, and body mass care.

Conclusion

You should have gotten more knowledgeable on the berries that are safe enough to eat in the wild. With this article, you should know(or be able to refer back) and be able to recognize some wild berries that are safe to eat.

It is vital to know the things you put in your mouth including its capacities and components,this is why we’ve compiled this list but remember to take caution in putting unknown berries in your mouth if you get confused,you could try a trick from Matt of gardeners path, rub it on your skin to check for irritation, then on your lips to see if it burns, It isn’t advisable in a situation where you are stuck between two plants though, just let it be and move on because some toxins take time to react. Stay Safe.

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[artsynanotech]

Home Again Part 3b: Did We Just... Succeed...?

Color me surprised, but one of my ideas actually worked tonight. It’s a small victory in the grand scheme of things, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. If I don’t celebrate the little victories I might well go off the deep end. We decided to track down the source of the Hunter’s ammo. Between Michella’s street smarts and Caroline’s connections we were able to find out who was selling it and where they’d set up shop. The man was operating out of a decrepit old church in a run-down part of the city. Michella and Caroline went to find some firearms just in case, while I cased the church to see just what we were dealing with.

I heard three different voices in the church: a woman (presumably Mrs. Abner) and two men. I couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying, so I stayed hidden to keep watch and make sure no one else arrived. Ares texted me around that time; he’d finished interrogating the spirit of the hunter we’d killed earlier. It turns out this group was planning hits on several different kindred in the coming nights, myself included. It felt good to know we were in position to stop those attacks before they started. Eventually Michella and Caroline returned from their errand. They’d gone to a pawn shop just down the road, so it didn’t take them long. I slipped out of my hiding place to try and formulate a plan with them. But as I did show who should show up but Maceth. He tried to grab me from behind, but I ducked out of the way just in time. He demanded to know what we were doing at the church and threatened to kill us if we didn’t have a good reason. I showed him the texts I got from Ares. I was on their hit list, I said, so I was trying to be proactive in protecting myself. That got a laugh out of him. “What are you going to do, paint them to death?” he asked. I snapped. Between Ares’ overprotectiveness and Maceth’s general assholery, I just couldn’t help myself. I actually shouted at him. I told Maceth I was tired of people thinking I was useless, that I couldn’t take care of myself. I brought up my blood hunt – a result of his failure to verify the authenticity of the faked sex tape – and how it ended with me tearing a dinner plate sized hole in my ex-boyfriend’s neck. Maceth was amused by my sudden burst of anger if nothing else. He agreed to let my coterie try to stop the hunters, with the caveat that if we failed he’d swoop in to finish the job and then off us. Which was just about all we could hope for, I suppose, but it ended up sort of working out in the end. I came up with a plan to lure the hunters out of the church one by one to try and take them out quietly. They’d parked a van near the back door. I hid behind the door, Caroline slightly beyond it, and Michella behind the van. Michella then smashed the window of the van with the butt of her newly acquired smg and set off the alarm. Before long the first hunter, a young man, came to investigate. Things got a little hairy when Michella tripped and blew her cover, but I was able to pounce on the hunter before he had a chance to react. I was running low on blood at that point so I sunk my fangs into him and had myself a nice long snack. Mrs. Abner came out next. Caroline took her on with a pistol, and narrowly manage to avoid getting hit with Mrs. Abner’s fire ammo. Mrs. Abner tried to get a shot off at me too, but I rolled her partner’s body in front of me as I fed to block the shot. Michella joined in the fight then, but she ended up having to take on a third hunter who was shooting at us from the second floor of the church. It seemed like Caroline and Mrs. Abner pretty well handled, so when I finished feeding I ran into the church to take care of the third hunter. I grabbed my prey’s fallen firearm, a sawed off shotgun, on the way. It didn’t take me long to find the room the third hunter was in. He was an elderly priest. I felt supremely guilty for having to kill him, but it was my friends lives at stake, and they always come first. I fired a shot at the priest. Literally. What came out of the gun was not a bullet but actual flame. I dropped the gun in shock. I don’t know how they’d modified a shotgun into a flamethrower but apparently that was the case. The poor priest barely managed to survive the short blaze. I knocked him unconscious so Maceth could interrogate him. By the time I went back downstairs the girls had taken care of Mrs. Abner and Michella was replenishing her own blood stores on the woman’s not-yet-deceased form. Maceth came in with a container of gasoline and told us to book it. I tried to speak with him before I did, to try and convince him to leave Ares and I alone. He wasn’t having any of it. But at least I can say I made the attempt. My coterie left eh hound to his cleanup work and returned to our homes. Well I assume Michella and Caroline did. I went to Ares. There was a rather large bloodstain left over from the corpse of the hunter Ares interrogated, so I spent the next night helping Ares clean it up. It turns out that yes, the place he’d used for the ritual was going to be his future apartment. He wants me to move in with him. But circumstances being what they are I don’t think it’s a good idea. Even without Maceth’s threat to us, we’ve only been together a few months and it seems too early for a big jump like that. Then there’s the issue of rent. I can’t afford to contribute anything to the expenses such a large place would surely require. While I know Ares has no problem supporting me, I need to be able to provide for myself. I won’t be kept. I my relationship with Ares to be a partnership of equals, and that’s not going to happen with me taking advantage of his family’s wealth. I hope he’s able to respect that. Upside: I did (sort of) finally manage to tell him I love him. It came out more as a stammered, unfinished sentence and the biggest blush I’m sure I’ve ever displayed, but Ares understood. He loves me too. It doesn’t matter what happens to me or what Maceth tries to do. I’m not giving this boy up for anything. (When Michella returned to her haven her sire, Algernon, came calling for her. He’d finally managed to complete his (un)life’s work: a gargoyle that was grown from scratch using a combination of technomancy and other magics. It has the form of a child and requires a lot of education on how to be a proper gargoyle. Algernon calls it Beta. Michella agreed to help teach it as long as Algernon takes better care of himself and agrees to spend more sire/childe quality time with her. Caroline made some headway in her search for dirt on her sire, Robert. She received a call from a man who calls himself B. B claims to have worked with Xavier in the past, and has info he would like to give Caroline if Caroline agrees to teach him the Presence discipline.)