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runningfrom2am · 5 months ago

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requiem // part two

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.7k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: the playlist is up now and i think it's cute so far!! if you have any song suggestions that should go on it please let me know!

the songs in this part are "Into the Unknown" by Idina Menzel, "Never Enough" by Loren Allred, and "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion !!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

four months earlier

"Hey, what did I say about breathing, hun?" You turn on your piano bench, stopping your playing abruptly. "You sound strained."

The little girl giggles, shaking her head. "I'm sorry! I always forget!"

"Okay, well, forgetting to breathe won't do you much good, will it?" You ask, smile on your face as you raise an eyebrow at her.

"Probably not, miss."

"Definitely not!" You laugh, placing your hands on your knees to push yourself up from your seated position. "Here's what we'll do. No music, we'll just go through the first verses together without breathing. Go as long as we can, yeah?"

The little girl nods, and you take a deep, dramatic breath before you start your part with the three big interjections so she would know when to start. You smile as you watch her take a big deep breath too before her part comes in, and you continue with her.

"You're not a voice, you're just a ringing in my ear. And if I heard you, which I don't," She giggles at the spoken line, which you know is her favorite. You smile and motion for her to keep going with you. "I'm spoken for, I fear. Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls. I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls."

That's the part where she can't continue, her singing voice fading into a strained whisper as she tries to get it out, but you can keep going.

"I've had my adventure, I don't need something new. I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you..." You don't make it much farther, considering you had started much sooner and had some belted interjections, but you try your best. You both laugh as you gasp for a deep breath when you're done, chest feeling tight.

"Even you can't sing for long without breathing!" She laughs, and you nod.

"See? That's what I'm saying! I lasted just a little longer, but that comes with years of practice, so you've gotta focus on your breathing now, and you'll outsing me in no time."

"Now," You start, walking up to her and grabbing her hand, molding it to be held out flat in front of her. "Hold your hand right here, and every time you breathe, you should be feeling your tummy hit your hand. Big, quick breaths. You got it?" You ask the little blonde girl.

Coryo watches from the crack in the door as she tries it out, and you make sure her hand is in the right place. He smiles a little to himself, seeing how good you are with her. You had just started teaching a few months ago, and you told him you loved it, but he had never stopped by during your lessons before.

"Yes, just like that. Are we ready for music again?" You smile, and she nods, arm held out firmly in front of herself exactly where you placed it.

You gently pat her shoulders and head back over to your piano seat, flipping back to the first page of the old yellowed sheet music in front of you.

He watches your hands as you play at the same time as you sing, looking back over your shoulder to cue her and play her in.

"Big, big voice!" You remind her as she reaches the chorus, wanting her to really push.

"I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you, into the unknown!"

"Yes, good! You're an angel!" You smile when she nails it, pushing into the piano keys.

"Keep going, let's do the whole thing." You encourage her, normally you would do it in small sections to work on little bits and pieces, but you wanted her to try out the full thing at least once before her lesson was done for the day.

With your waiting room at the academy just a little ways down the hall, Coryo is sure he could still hear your accompaniments from there, so he goes to sit and wait for you to be done.

"Alright, you did amazing today! What are we going to work on tomorrow?" You ask, holding the door for the little girl as she walks out with her backpack.

"Breathing!"

"Yes, good. Now remember your hand, where does it go?" Coryo assumes she's showing you when he hears you praise her. "Yes! Good girl. Go through the whole thing ten times tomorrow with your mother, and I'll see you on Thursday, okay?" He stands up when he hears you say your goodbye, grabbing his bag and preparing to go.

"Thank you, miss! See you on Thursday!" He can hear her skipping off down the hall, followed by the main doors opening and closing before he walks over to your training room.

He peeks through the open doorway, watching you gather up your sheet music and put it carefully into your book bag.

"What song was that? I've never heard it before."

You jump, turning quickly and staring at him with wide eyes, which quickly relax when you see your best friend. "Coryo." You laugh softly, shaking your head. "You scared me!"

"Sorry." He chuckles, taking that as permission to come in, stepping in and looking around.

"It's from an old, old movie. I've never heard of it, but the company that composed them for the films had tons of pieces more suited for children." You explain, holding out the unpacked bit of sheet music to him. He takes it carefully from your hand, flipping through the old book, labeled 'Disney' across the front. "Those ones are harder, a bit above her level, but I wanted to try pushing her, and she likes it, which helps." You explain, holding your hand out for him to pass it back when he's done.

"Did you learn many of these?" He asks, tilting his head at you as he hands it back.

"Oh, all of them." You laugh, carefully tucking it into your bag. "I performed one from that same film when I was about... twelve? Yes. Twelve. My teacher accompanied me for the sirens' part."

"Is that what you were singing in hers?" Coryo asks. He's sure he must be annoying, laying into you with question after question, but he was truly interested. He loved hearing you sing- he wanted to know everything you were willing to share about your life. Especially the massive part of it he knew he would never quite fully understand; your music.

"Yes, it is." You nod, cheeks flushing as you close up the piano. "It's so beautiful, I've always wanted to try that part. If she excels at it, maybe I'll accompany her at the gala."

"Oh, right. Where can I buy tickets again?" The music academy had a gala at the end of every year, and the students would all perform something- you were one of very few who got a solo. You'd gotten one every year since you had enrolled officially at five, and every year the people of the Capitol looked forward to it. Tickets were hard to come by, but that's because they were held for family and friends of the students. This year would be your last, and next year, no one doubted you would have a residency performing for the elites. You had done so a few times before, but Coryo could never afford a ticket- though, that never stopped you from offering them up first. Another benefit to be added to the list of things he can afford after he wins the Plinth Prize.

"I have spares, they're all yours if you want them." You smile at him, heading for the door and flicking off the lights. "But you don't have to come."

"It's your last gala, of course I'll come." He insists, closing the door behind himself as he follows you out.

"Yay! Then I'll get you the tickets." You grin, heels clicking as you walk alongside him down the hallway.

"Thank you." Coryo grins. "Hey, do you want to work on that English assignment together tonight? We could go to that coffee shop you like."

"I have rehearsals." You sigh. "Sorry, but maybe tomorrow? After I practice?"

"Rehearsals? Already?"

You raise an eyebrow at him. That was a stupid question and he knew it.

"You're right. That was dumb." He laughs. "Can I come?"

"To rehearsals?" You ask, stopping as he opens the door for you. He nods. "I guess so. You'll just have to hide in the back so Miss Cornelia doesn't see you."

"Alright, guess I'll be hiding then." He smiles.

It doesn't take long to walk across campus to the theater, and you and Coryo part ways when you take the stage entrance.

He walks around to the side of the building, sneaking in through an emergency exit. He can hear you warming up already, your voice carrying through every hall and stairwell in the theater.

When the door at the very back upper level of the theater creaks open slowly, you have to keep yourself from looking or drawing attention to your friend's entrance as you continue with your scale. You were already warmed up from your lesson, but Miss Cornelia always insists you do anyway. Realistically, there was rarely a moment when you weren't asleep that you weren't "warmed up."

"We're starting with 'Never Enough,' " Your instructor tells you, and you nod slightly, taking a final sip of water while she signals for whoever was in the booth today to start the instrumental record. If you were to perform this live, you would have the orchestra there, but it was difficult to get forty people to agree to come practice just for your rehearsals. By now, everyone knew you didn't need it anyway.

You didn't want to start with this song- you didn't even want to perform it anymore, but she liked it. It was below your skill level, by this point, but people liked to hear it. It was a beautiful piece, but ironically, it wasn't enough anymore if you wanted to progress your career.

Coryo pulls out his homework on his lap, finding the sound of your voice very relaxing to work behind.

"Stop- stop!" Miss Cornelia calls out, and you're hardly past the first chorus. The music cuts out, and Coryo looks up from his book. You look at her with a furrowed brow. "You're listening to yourself. Stop that. You know better. Now, start again."

The piano starts, but your argument makes it halt again. "I'm listening because I want to hear something different. I've been doing this song for years, I want to at least improve somehow if I must keep beating this dead horse."

Your instructor raises an eyebrow at you. "Oh?" She asks, dropping her pen down on her notepad. "You think you've perfected it, have you?"

You swallow your fear, nodding slightly.

"Okay, well, you still sound stiff in the bridge, and the final chorus is still under-supported." She critiques you, challenging you with her stare.

Coryo watches the interaction, confused as to what on earth this woman was talking about. He knew little about the technical terms and what she meant, but to him, it sounded perfect. He had heard it before several times- you definitely knew what you were doing.

"I'm not performing this." You reply simply, shaking your head as you reach for your water bottle. You had enough self confidence with your singing to know she was just letting the music fall on deaf ears- so familiar with the piece and your particular voice that she would never find it perfect. "Let me do something else."

"Not until this is perfect."

"Sorry, allow me to rephrase: I won't be performing this. I'll be doing something else." You insist, bringing the bottle to your lips and Coryo wants to cheer you on for standing up for yourself, but he stays silent.

"Okay." Miss Cornelia replies, clapping her hands together. "What do you suggest? Since you're the professional."

"I Will Always Love You." you offer, placing your water bottle back down, screwing the lid back on. "Or Skyfall, or Human, or Time to Say Goodbye, Memory, With or Without You, Mandy, Praying, I don't know- any of these other songs that I have been working on for years!" you exclaim, speed and volume increasing with every title you throw at her. "Don't you think any of those could be more representative of my range?"

"No." Your instructor shuts you down quickly, pushing her glasses up her nose. "We have been preparing this for your final gala for too long to change it now. That's not fair to the orchestra or the board. The university is expecting it as well."

"It's All Coming Back to Me Now." You demand, and the theater gets so silent in the moment that follows that Coryo is sure you could hear his breathing from the stage if he wasn't already holding it back.

He doesn't know the song, but the deafening silence that followed your suggestion led him to believe it was something difficult or different than what he's used to hearing from you.

"That piece isn't difficult, the orchestra doesn't even have to learn it. I can play for myself on the piano and they will be that much more impressed, no? The hardest part is the vocals and I know I can do it- I've been practicing it for years. My family says it's outstanding." You continue, determined in your every word.

"Your family? Oh, well, that's wonderful. Maybe they should coach you, then. Since they're experts." She scoffs in response. "Like I said, the university scouts are expecting 'Never Enough.' We couldn't change our submission now if we wished to- and even if we could, the unprofessionalism you'd be displaying would be astounding. So no, absolutely not."

You sigh. You don't need that stupid scholarship- you probably won't even need to go to university for anything more than the title you'd get after you graduate. You were essentially promised a residency at the opera house already, but she was right. It wasn't fair to the orchestra to throw something new at them only one semester away from the gala, or remove them from the plan altogether.

"Again." She says, not giving you the chance to fight with her before the music meets your ears again.

You shake your head, waving a hand dismissively at the sound booth. "Let me play it for you, then decide."

Coriolanus could feel the tensity of the situation somehow increase as your coach nodded in unenthused approval.

She was willing to hear you out, that was good.

You take a deep breath, turning on your heel to go over to the piano on the stage. Every footstep masks the pounding of your heart at the small victory, your nerves only spiking when you remembered your best friend was there to listen today.

Oh, but when he hears you play...

He did not expect the intensity at which your voice came in as he tried to make out your hands moving across the keys, eyes straining from the back of the large auditorium to try and hold on to your every word and note. You didn't even have any sheet music, and your eyes were closed as you played. You had certainly been practicing this piece for quite some time.

This was unlike anything he had ever heard you perform before.

"There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws would allow..."

Particularly, he realized, in subject matter.

You were not kids anymore, that much he had to come to terms with very suddenly. He didn't expect you to be so comfortable with the verses leaving your lips, but if you were nervous by them, it was unreadable.

God, this song must be like ten minutes long.

Every time he thinks you're done you're not, and with every high note, every borderline scandalous line, he's not sure how you haven't fainted. Well, no. He knows better than that, but he knows for certain that he definitely would have.

No one in Panem can sing quite like you.

"The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me.

I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now."

Coryo wonders if you even know the implications of every word. If you understood and just didn't care, or if you were innocently ignorant. The idea of sex wasn't something you ever spoke of, but he figures himself foolish to hear you sing this with such clear passion and assume that you didn't understand. To sing about heartbreak and lovemaking and complex emotions all in one song and belt it like you felt every word, well, he didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he couldn't hold it anymore.

Coryo, you're both eighteen. If you get it, she gets it. Be realistic.

Maybe that day, homework long abandoned in his lap, your best friend started looking at you just a little bit differently.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

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yevnevlyrics · 1 year ago

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Yuunagi, Bou, Hana Madoi/Evening, Somewhere, Fireworks - Yorushika - Translyrics!!

The fireworks i wrote songs to

They still bloomed out of my heart until summer came

Night's on its way, but focus

Until tomorrow, or after, how long this takes

Seriously, ill make it right

I'll find the words to describe that august day

Although all i have to say would take too much time

My guitar in a 2/2 timeframe

Hundreds of words, not enough to truly convey

wrote all these rock n roll songs

but only sung of when you were mine

a goodbye on its own wont be enough

nor will these songs i wrote thinking of your red, tear-stained face

remembering your glowing body just makes it worse

fireworks flowering, summer blooming

through this song, you live on as just words

the fireworks i wrote songs to

i made sure id never forget watching them with you

by repeating the memories

in my mind of how you acted like a ghost then too

nothing back then even mattered,

not whatever i did and didnt know then

well, you couldve told me, hell if you ever cared

back in the hall where we played piano

or that cafe where we first met

Even if i really want to hate you now

i'll kill anyone who'll speak any bad words of you

Just going on like this wont be enough

When all day, everyday the images in my mind grow

Remembering the way the fireworks glowed in your eyes

That breathtaking, endless blooming

To forget it leaves me all alone

Only singing these songs wont be enough

Even these songs i wrote of you lit up by flowering fire

A night so beautiful, it wont happen again

Thats why i must never forget

Your glowing face back in that red light

🎇🎇🎇

#yorushika #translyrics #ヨルシカ #THIS SONG. I COULD LITERALLY TALK FOR HOURS #RAAAHHHH GOES FERAL #these were so fun

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theblazewolf · 11 months ago

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everyone wins and loses. its a fact of life.

but its been a tough ride this 2023 and it actually drains me to make a retrospective.

yes, looking at the good stuff objectively, ive done more than i couldve asked for. for the life of me i still dont know how i got more than a thousand likes on two paintings i didnt think would ever get seen. (simply proves to me that sometimes, social media is mainly RNG in disguise)

ive managed to maintain a consistent schedule of posting art; any art. quality may vary but that can be sorted in the near future. also ended up setting up a condo unit, drove by myself for the first time, attended my first furry convention since the pandemic.

once, for once, i was happier than ever being by myself. all that time alone was what i needed.

and im currently making a zine, and maybe other projects beyond that.

all things being objective, it was a good year.

i cannot forget the ones ive lost; the ones whose loss shaded this year.

my ex, my best friend, who i had to cut ties with, admittedly the source of my melancholy, drunken texts, and attempts at being civil, deep inside i find myself yearning for those days when it was okay for us to be idiots at 3am talking about dumb shit. but you find yourself watching the ties you set up slowly deteriorate, and nothing you do can fix it. seven years were way too long somehow. i still see them, but i know enough just to be civil, or to talk whenever youre needed.

my uncle, my mom’s older brother. my heart still breaks knowing he suffered a long illness. while we try to sing songs that he loved, we know the bitter taste of loss that cant be washed away in an instant. he was a staple at many parties that will never be the same again. i wish he saw his daughter graduate, or enter law school. i wish he lived long enough to be free of pain for just one day.

and my good friend, my fellow cities skylines 2/mekanism enthusiast; one of my ardent supporters. the voice calls will always have an empty spot for you. i will never let your tragic end overshadow the texts we had. I will live till im 30, and beyond. ive said a lot about you since your passing. somehow i still wish i was there to let you know we love you so much. take your rest, and let us know you’re ok.

also honorable mentions to budding relationships i tried to build but failed, another commissioner of mine who passed this year in the same week as my uncle.

i cant leave this year without thanking others.

my close friends, for listening to me scream and yap for 24/7 with unfiltered blazethoughts, and also reciprocating by screaming and yapping for 24/7 about yalls respective thoughts. thats friendship thats unbreakable.

my server, for being equally insane. all you 90% filipino/10% other people are so insane for accepting my invite to come and see me talk about random shit that god can’t allow. im overreacting when i say god wont allow what i say. but having a bunch of furry pals in one area is a luxury.

my gw2 guild, BURN, for the endless voice chats, helping me sort through the grief, the support and all the insanity you allowed this little lonely disaster entertain. i know we lost a lot, but we have much more to live for together.

my follows who have grown a LOT this year. your support keeps me going through and through. i love you guys.

see you in 2024.

-blaze

#theblazewolfspeaks #happy new year

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skyland2703 · 2 years ago

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Love and Loss; Prompts

Inspired by My Chemical Romance, Alan Walker, Green Day, P!nk, Panic! at the Disco, @augment-techs and @lordkingsmith

Honey if you stay, you’ll be forgiven//nothing you can say can stop me going home

What’s the worst thing I could say//Things are better if I stay

Came a time, when every star fall brought you to tears again//we are, the very hurt you sold

What’s the worst you take, from every heart you break

Something buried deep inside us, the major and the minor, we were like the piano keys; you played for me

I’ve become what you cannot embrace//our memories will be my lullaby

All the greatest loves, end in violence//it’s tearing up my voice, left in silence

Baby i got these scars, reminding me to forget

If you promise not to cry, I’ll tell you just what I would say if I could be with you tonight

So long to all my friends, every one of them met tragic ends//with every passing day, id be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight

And they found you on the bathroom floor

Back home, off the run, singing songs that make you slit your wrists, it isn’t that much fun

So I won’t stop lying, won’t stop crying, if you want I’ll keep on dying

Gimme all your poison, and give me all your pills, give me all your hopeless hearts and make me ill

If this is what you want then fire at will

No one ever had much nice to say, I think they never liked you anyway, well you’re dead

Remind me how it feels to hear your voice; living life as if we had a choice

Sing me to sleep, love, sing me to sleep

Little girl, little girl why are you crying? Inside your restless soul your heart is dying

Little one, little one your soul is purgin', of love and razor blades, your blood is surgin'

When someone said three years from now, you’d be long gone; I’d stand up and punch them out, cuz they’re all wrong//I know better, cuz you said forever//and ever// who knew

The traces of blood always follow you home// Like the mascara tears from your getaway

Hand in mine, into your icy blues, and then I’d say to you, we could take to the highway, with a trunk of ammunition too;

I’d end my days with you, in a hail of bullets

When through it all the rise and fall, the bodies in the street, when we’re gone, we want you all to know

Though we are dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on

Oh Mona Lisa, you’re guaranteed to run this town, oh Mona Lisa, I’d pay to see you frown

Say what you mean, tell me I’m right, give me a sign, I wanna believe

I just hope you know, that if you say goodbye today//I’d ask you to be true//cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you

I waited so long, for someone to say//if you could hold on, I’d maybe get you to stay

And as we ran from the cops, we laughed so hard, it would sting

If I’m so wrong, so wrong, so wrong, how can you listen all night long

You’ll never take me alone, you’ll never get me back home, I never wanna go home with you//and still—

And we’re all about to sell it cuz it’s tragic with a CAPITAL T

And you’re walking away//and I will die in this place

Sometimes I get the feeling, she’s watching over me//and other times I’m feeling so alone

There’s writing on the ceiling, that only I can see//and other times I feel like running home

Cuz the time we had, was really not so bad, despite the reservations that you had//i don’t care at all, I’m really not so sad, despite the observation that you had

If you look in the mirror and don’t like whatcha see, you can find out firsthand what it’s like to be me

The doctors and the nurses they adore me so//but it’s really quite alarming cuz I’m SUCH AN AWFUL FUUUUCK

You dig so deep for scars//you never knew your mind was dark

Well I know you lay in bed, contemplating your own death, just look at what you’ve done, don’t you dare forget the sun, love

Girl you’re not invisible, you’re all that I can see

Forget about the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, remember when you broke your foot, from jumping out the second floor—

You only hear the music, when your heart begins to break.

Tell me a story, into that goodnight//sing us a song for me

Are you thinking of me//like I’m thinking of you

And if you would call me your sweetheart, I’d maybe then sing you a song//but the shit that I’ve done with this fuck of a gun, you would cry out your eyes all along

Mama, we all go to hell, it’s really quite pleasant, except for the smell, mama we all go to hell~

I choose defeat, I walk away, I leave this place, for sane today

Some like to sleep, we like to play, just look at all that Shame~

I never said I missed her, when everybody kissed her, now I’m the only one to blame.

Things have changed for me, and that’s ok, I feel the same, I’m on my way

So long to all my friends, every one of them met tragic ends//with every passing day, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight

If I could be with you tonight, I would sing you to sleep, never let them take the light behind your eyes

I think this list is long enough, for now. I’ll add more if I get any~ till then knock yourself out with these!

#prompts #writing prompts #GIMME PROMPTS #can I get some for Javelia too 👀

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undead-merman · 3 years ago

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Alright first, I wanna say that you are my favorite blog in here. Your writing is so good I can’t never get enough. Keep the good work❤️ (love to the editor too)

Now with the request, how about yandere siren simeon with a s/o that keeps rejecting their advances or they just already have a partner.

Oh damn, thanks. I just like writing monsters and yanderes glad you enjoy it. Editor sends Their thanks as well.

🧜‍♂️Yandere Siren Simeon🧜‍♂️ With an S/O Who Has a Previous Lover GN- reader SFW

His First Reaction

When you first reject him saying that you had a lover already he just smiled and nodded. His smile is as bright and radiant as it always is. He just curls his tail cutely and tries to continue the conversation like nothing happened.

But on the inside he feels like he’s just been punched in the throat over and over and nothing but poison was running through his veins. He feels so violently ill. His mind swirls with so many emotions.

He already knows what he needs to do, you’re everything, you’re everything he could ever want and he’s not letting some strange unknown human take away his eternal happiness. They couldn’t love you like he would. They wouldn’t treasure you like he would.

How He Deals with It

He still visits you, still keeps up appearances but learns as much as he can about your partner. He’ll ask as much as you're willing to give him and he’ll ask to meet them.

If you agree to let him meet your partner he’ll act so friendly and sweet and when you least expect it he’ll grab you and drag you into the ocean as he proudly sings his song to your partner. Even if you scream, thrash, bite and kick he’s not letting you go and holding you against him tight as your partner falls into a trance. He’ll cover your eyes but you can hear them step into the ocean, but as Simeon swims away with you, know they won’t be coming back out of the water.

If you don’t let Simeon see them that's fine. He doesn’t mind. He’ll just pull you in the water; he can’t risk you going back to them. No way in hell. He’ll just smile and hold you against him with his hands around your waist. He’s reassuring you the whole time as he drags you off.

He finally brings you to his den and he’s just admiring you even if you're screaming and begging to be let out. He is so drunk off of just your presence. He’s just watching you amazingly even as you struggle. His tail swirling in the water as he sighs like a teen with a crush.

It's okay to be scared of him taking you here was sudden and probably pretty scary! He wouldn’t blame you for cowering for a few days. But he’ll get lonely if you keep avoiding him. He’ll openly talk to you, ask you your opinion on things and act like everything is normal. He’s always trying to comfort you with soft words and he never raises his voice at you. He treats you so gently even after all he’s done.

He slowly comes to realize that he needs something to bond with you so he offers to allow you to decorate his den. Anything you want inside and he’s willing to seek it out. If it's not available in the ocean he’s more than willing to send a hypnotized slave to get it for him. He’ll enslave a whole crew if it means setting it up perfectly the way you want it. He can’t do electronics though, he wishes he could but it’s impossible with where his den is.

If you try to escape, he’d chuckle at you as if he caught you with your hand in the cookie jar. He’ll tut at you like a small child and sit you back where he thinks you look best and tie you up. Never too rough, just enough to keep you from moving as he fixes whatever gave you the idea. He can’t allow that, he’ll make it up to you by finding you something extra sparkly and bringing you extra food. Though if you ended up screaming your old partner’s name or injuring him, his face is filled with remorse. He’ll mention over and over again how much you hurt him, after all he did was look out for you and leave you tied up. He lets you go hungry until you apologize to him. Only after you’ve sincerely apologized and promised him to be good did he feed you. But at least it's good food.

In the end he’ll do everything he can to make you forget your old partner, distracting you with fun self-centered activities or discussions. He just wants the two of you to live happily ever after. Just you two, forever.

#obey me #obey me simeon #obey me monster headcanons #simeon x reader #yandere simeon

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satoruseme · 4 years ago

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boyfriend oikawa

Author: frogfits

Pairing: oikawa toru x reader

Genre: bf!oikawa, hc

Word Count: 0.7k

Description: this is all over the place but basically this is what it’d be like dating oikawa

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

lord have mercy

“baby do i look pretty today” every mf second

but surprised when you tell him that he, of course, is so pretty and you get a

“not as pretty as you baby” with a temple kiss before he walks away

are you ready to swoon all the time ? well get ready

hows this mf gonna have a praise kink and a degradation kink at the same time

i hope you’re ready to be a bitch if you wanna be w oikawa

… did you forget the fan girls ?

sometimes you would get sad and insecure over them, but.. this boy is a cancer c’mon

he would hold you in his lap and wrap his arms around you and tell you that you were the prettiest person hes ever seen

communication would be on PAR

would definitely be the relationship that has healthy space, alone time occasionally playing an important role

will always dedicate his serves to you bc thats his serving quirk (is what he says anyway)

definitely kisses you on the lips before every game for good luck

he fucks really hard, like almost too aggressively

dont get it twisted though, biggest switch ever, like ever

loves to call you his pretty little slut but also wants to hear good boy all the time

forces you to be aoba johsai manager bc he wants you to stand out and not blend in with fans on the sideline so he can see you at all times

makes you wear his extra jersey to games bc he wants E V E R Y O N E to know you are his and that he is yours

also wants you to ride him in his jersey as often as possible

dirty talk is his THING and he is so loud

…like sometimes too loud

probably does it on purpose bc he wants you to put your hand over his mouth and tell him to behave and be a good boy

always wants you to run your fingers through his hair while he has his head in your lap

says embarrasing shit like “my jersey says 1 for a reason baby, bc im #1 in your heart”

recieves a back of the head slap for that one

he definitely wants to bake cookies at 2 am and dance around the kitchen to good old fashioned lover boy

admires you as you dance around singing the song to him in one of his t shirts

this boy will fall in love w you all over again every single day

BUT YOU WILL DO THE SAME ASF JUST LOOK AT HIM

picture him in the mornings with plaid pajama pants and his glasses and messy hair NO

the first time you see him cry after a bad match will literally shatter your heart

always wants to hold your hand, especially in public

your favorite thing is to lay on top of him with your head against his chest

you can just hear his heartbeat and not to mention he smells SO good at ALL times

why does this dude always wanna watch musicals?

i know this boy has PIPES like he can SING

and sing he will, bc you would always beg him to sing for you and he would bc ofc he loves the praise that comes from it

iwa is around quite a bit, but y’all pick on oikawa constantly so it’s fine

you and iwa are def bffs

see who can come up with the best mutation of oikawas name

(iwa is currently in the lead for coming up with twink-kawa)

i just know oikawas rich ass family has a beach house

he would always talk you into sneaking off during weekends or whenever to go there

brings half of aoba johsai and no not bc hes scared to be alone

“kyoutani can protect us from any intruders bc hes scary

“b-b-b-beach volleyball ?

anyway YEAH OIKAWA PLS FUCKING DATE ME NOW OR ILL DIE

masterlist

#oikawa x y/n #oikawa fic #oikawa smut #oikawa icons #oikawa tooru #oikawa hcs #oikawa headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima #tsuki #bokuto #bokuto hcs

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starlightrows · 3 years ago

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1 — The Innkeeper

The Queen of Tatooine Masterlist

Pairing: Boba Fett x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Mention of sex work, mild sexual harassment

Summary: An innkeeper at the edge of the universe has a chance encounter with an infamous bounty hunter.

AN: Special thank you to my biggest cheerleader @ortizshinkaroff

On a remote planet at the edge of the known galaxy, in a settlement carved out of the tall red barked trees stood an inn. A small building that hosted many traders and travelers as they passed through the settlement. That inn has been in your family for over a century, and you took over the care and keeping of that inn at the age of fourteen when your mother died an untimely death.��

Things were different after she passed away. Not just because it was now up to you to manage the money, make the repairs to the inn, cook the evening meal for your patrons, and defend yourself from the prying eyes of townsfolk and strange travelers alike. Beyond your control, your settlement became a hub for bounty hunters and bounties alike… trying to outrun their debts and wrongdoings by disappearing into the dense forests and high mountains. Unfortunately, being that yours is the only inn in the settlement, many townsfolk blame you for the shift patronage that passes through the town.

Whispers and rumors run rampant through the town. Nasty rumors that your inn has become a trading post for illegal dealings or that you are a one woman show… brothel keeper and harlot all in one. Of course, none of it is true, you don’t ask questions about your patrons or their business in your town. The less you know about them the better. And you certainly don’t allow them into your private room.

Of course this doesn’t keep them from trying. Pretty young thing like yourself, living on your own, serving anyone who comes across your threshold. You’ve grown used to putting on a neutral mask, grown a thick skin, and take neither complaint nor compliment from your patrons-- either can provoke dangerous responses from men who have had too much spotchka.

Tonight is no different. The summer air is warm but the breeze that flows through the open windows of the dining space downstairs is better. Most of your patrons are in good spirits, singing songs and drinking to their successes in life. As you pass by to replace the decanter of electric blue libation, one of the patrons swats your ass and begs you to join their table. You make no comment and continue about your tasks.

“Come on now girl, we’ve had a long journey and come into great money, drink to our good fortune and maybe we’ll share it with you” the man calls out. You make no comment and go to return to the kitchen. The man is offended by your lack of acknowledgement to his invitation, as so many who proposition you are.

“I am speaking to you girl” he says pointedly “Don’t you know it’s rude to ignore your guests”

You turn back to face him, “Congratulations on your accomplishments” you say coldly “Surely you must be exhausted after your journey, perhaps a goodnight’s rest will serve you better than another glass of spotchka”

The man licks his lips… drawing attention to their cracked and crusted appearance. He’s ragged and dirty. He stands too close and you can tell he smells of spotchka and sweat. He reaches out and catches your wrist, gripping you with surprising strength for one so skinny.

“Aye, and why don’t you join me? Tender little thing like you, bet you’d help me get get a good night’s rest”

Before you have a chance to make any sort of retort, pull a blaster or a blade to defend yourself, there is a large, scarred hand on his shoulder.

“That’s enough” The man standing behind your harasser is not particularly tall, he wears a black cloak that covers his head and most of his face. Many who wish to keep a low profile in your establishment dress this way, though you can’t say you’ve ever heard a voice quite like his before.

“Oi, find your own piece of ass” the nasty traveler growls, shirking his shoulder away from the hooded man and turning back to you

The hooded man draws a blaster from his cloak and presses it to the travelers spine “I said, that’s enough”

The traveler visibly stiffens and releases his grip on you. You seize the opportunity to leap backwards away from both of them. This is not the first time someone has stepped in to “rescue” you from an offending patron. Usually they become the next offender, expecting some kind of reward in return for their valor.

“A gift” the hooded man says “Your life. Take it and leave this settlement”

The traveler goes to protest, but the hooded man cuts him off before he can get any words out “Refuse my generosity and you will find that journey ends here”

The traveler raises up his hands and backs towards the door, swiping up his own cloak and satchel before disappearing into the summer night without another word. The tavern is silent, all eyes rest on the hooded man, many craning their necks to get a glimpse at his face shielded by this hood.

You’ve retreated back to the bar that keeps people out of the kitchen and away from your private chambers. Slowly the quiet chatter returns to the dining room, as the hooded man approaches you.

He removes his hood revealing a man with a bald head, dark eyes, age lines and deep scars attempting to hide his true handsomeness.

“I apologize Princess,” says the man, his accent is foreign. Foreign for this system and foreign to your ears, a rare occurrence for you.

“Not a princess” you state, studying his face, watching body language in case he met your expectation of having ill intention. He remains calm, keeping an open posture and surprisingly kind smile “Can I get you something?”

“No, thank you” he replies “May I ask you a question?”

Disappointment floods your heart, here it comes, the question of your marital status or if he can share a drink with you…

“You may” you reply trying not to sound bored or saddened

“Do many of your patrons disrespect you that way?” He asks a question you’ve never gotten before. It surprises you.

“Yes” you reply “He is not the first to speak to me that way, he is not the worst, and he certainly won’t be the last”

“That saddens me princess” he says “Why do you stay?”

“Where else would I go?” you shrug wiping down the counter with a damp rag “I was born in this settlement, I grew up in this inn, it’s all I have and all I know how to do”

The hooded man hums, considering your words “So you serve supper to debtors and bounty hunters”

“And mercenaries and tradesmen and whoever else passes through my town” you agree. The hooded man smiles and gives a warm chuckle

“Does that scare you princess? Mercenaries and bounty hunters sleeping under your roof?” He asks

“Not anymore” you reply “So which are you? The hunter or the hunted?”

“I am Boba Fett. Do you know this name princess?” he asks, shifting his weight to lean on the bar

“No,” you admit. “Are you a famous bounty hunter? Or a known outlaw who’s name and face I should forget the moment you’re gone?”

He chuckles again. His laugh is rich and warm, you have met kinder men before, but he is different. But kind is not exactly the word you would use to describe him at this moment.

“I am just a simple man, making my way in the galaxy” he says

“So a bounty hunter then” you smile, seeing through his well practiced line

“Indeed” he chuckles

“Are you sure there is nothing more I can get for you this evening, Boba Fett?” you ask, worrying again he may try to proposition you for more than he is welcome to.

“No, unfortunately I must be on my way” he smiles “But I will come back to you princess, you have my word”

You quirk a brow, and tilt your head at him “I’m not a princess” you point out again as he walks towards the door

“Says who?” He smirks, drawing his hood back up over his head and disappearing into the darkness.

#Boba Fett #Boba Fett x reader #boba fett x female reader #boba fett x f!reader #The Queen of Tatooine #QT

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years ago

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champagne problems (part 1)

here's my first part of my modern no magic "champagne problems" singer-songwriter quarantine thomastair AU! happy birthday to @foxglove-airmid even though I don't think it's your birthday where you live anymore (and I still haven't posted zia's birthday fic, it'll happen I swear)!

no content warnings for this part (besides maybe quarantine), but future parts will include discussions of mental illness, substance abuse, and a suicide attempt

obviously, the song alastair "wrote" in the fic is not mine, it's by taylor swift! and a few of the lyrics have been changed!

Masterlist | AO3

Thomas breathed out a sigh of relief as he lugged his suitcase up onto the fifth floor landing.

“‘Ere we are,” Piers announced as he unlocked the door.

Thomas was utterly exhausted, such was the result of taking a redeye flight across the Atlantic during a global pandemic, but any idea of rest that he’d had was interrupted when he heard the sound of piano flood the apartment.

“Ah, sorry about that,” Piers nodded, “One of my flatmates, the walls are paper thin. He can’t record at the studio right now, but he’s trying to finish his EP, so it’s been a bit noisier around here. He’ll take a break soon, hopefully.”

Thomas shook his head. “It’s no problem. Thank you, again, for allowing me to stay here. I’ll be looking for my own place as soon as the quarantine is up.”

“Of course. You’ve got the couch as long as you need it. Couldn’t just hang you out to dry, could I? Although, you did pick a god awful time to move to the city, if I do say so myself.”

Thomas sat down on the couch and tried to make himself comfortable. It was more comfortable than the flight or the airport, at least. “I know… I considered postponing the move, but the visa was so difficult to get, I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. They say this will all blow over in a couple of weeks, but borders are closing and I heard talk of them suspending all pending visa applications. I didn't know how long it would be if I waited, if the job was even still here for me at all.” Although at first entrance, the music had seemed to be a nuisance, it now comforted him. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact, it quite reminded him of the days Alastair’s playing had filled their flat…

“Where did you say you were working again? At a record company?”

“Yeah. I’m just doing pretty basic stuff for now, but if I ever do want to record my own music, I’ve got to start somewhere.”

“Hm,” Piers said, gesturing to the room the music was coming from. “Perhaps you’ll get on with him well, then. Would you like some tea?”

Thomas nodded and Piers went to start the teapot. Piers continued, “Though I suppose he's more of the tortured artist type. Very reserved, quite prickly. I didn't even meet him until a couple weeks after I moved in here because he was off in some psychiatric hospital.” Thomas shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one for gossip. “My other roommate’s nice, though, I think you’ll like him. He-”

“How did you end up in New York, again? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Piers dove into the subject change quite readily, explaining his uni - or college - years in New York City and his decision to stay afterwards. Thomas had tuned most of it out, truthfully. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, but he was rather exhausted, and Piers was wearing thin on his patience.

As the kettle started to whine, Thomas heard the musician begin to sing, and he froze. It sounded so much like Alastair. But it couldn't be, could it? With over 8 million people living in the city, he would not end up in Alastair's apartment by accident. His Alastair was certainly reserved and prickly, but it wasn't possible. It must be like all those times he thought he saw him on a street he'd never walked or heard his laugh in a café he'd never been to. Just his mind, tricking him. Even if he knew that voice so well, despite not hearing it in so long.

“It’s quite good, isn’t it? His first single just dropped.” Piers asked, bringing over his cup of tea. He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring intently at the door.

Thomas took the cup. “Hm? Yeah, I guess. Thanks.”

“You should look it up. It’s called “champagne problems” by Simurgh. That’s spelled- Well, it should come up.”

The name Simurgh sounded familiar, but Thomas couldn’t put his finger on where he knew it from. At Piers’ insistence, he pulled out his phone and brought up the song. As he skimmed through the first few lines, a cold feeling settled in his stomach.

“You booked the night train for a reason So you could sit there in this hurt Bustling crowds or silent sleepers You're not sure which is worse”

“Simurgh,” Thomas realized.

“Yeah, I think it’s Arabic or something.”

It took Thomas a moment to process that Piers was responding to him. “It’s Persian.” He was certain that Alastair would have some very stern words to say if he heard Piers confusing the two, actually. Thomas had admittedly let his Farsi skills deteriorate quite a bit since the breakup, but he was fairly certain the name came from the Shahnameh. There was no doubt in Thomas’ mind now: he was staying in Alastair’s apartment, and Alastair’s first single was about one of the most painful days in Thomas’ life. “I, er, I used to study it.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right!” Piers launched into a tangent that Thomas tuned out as he read through the rest of the page.

“Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems”

“Thomas? Are you alright?”

He realized then that his hand was trembling so badly that his tea nearly spilled. He used his other hand to steady it. “Oh, uh, yes, I’m just tired.”

“Perhaps you should rest. I can ask Alastair to quiet down for a while-”

“No!” he exclaimed rather too forcefully. “No, that’s not necessary. I’d just rather not talk, if that’s alright.”

Piers nodded.

Thomas kept reading.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems”

Of all the songs, why did he release the one about him? Why was it about a memory still so painful in Thomas’ heart, all of these years later? He remembered it so well, standing there, alone, shattered into a million pieces.

“You told your family for a reason You couldn't keep it in Your sister splashed out on the bottle Now no one's celebrating”

He was fairly certain that Barbara had been more excited than even he was, confident that Alastair would accept, and so very proud of her baby brother, all grown up. She’d been furious when it fell apart, but it was her who stood with him during the aftermath, who boarded him onto a train to Edinburgh to visit Eugenia when he couldn’t stand to be in the same city as him any longer, who went through his phone, blocking all of Alastair’s accounts so that he could obsess over him no longer, who comforted him as he wept and held him as he picked the pieces of himself back up again.

And all the more sour was the memory in light of her death.

“Dom Pérignon, you brought it No crowd of friends applauded Your hometown skeptics called it Champagne problems”

He looked up at Piers, who had fortunately become enthralled with something on his phone and was no longer paying Thomas any mind. He lifted the teacup gingerly to his lips, but he felt far too sick to take a drink.

“You had a speech, you're speechless Love slipped beyond your reaches And I couldn't give a reason Champagne problems”

A reason, that’s all Thomas had wanted. Just any explanation. He understood if they were moving too fast, or perhaps he’d misread something, but he just didn’t understand it.

Why? Why can’t you tell me why? I deserve an explanation, Alastair. Please, anything.

I… I’m sorry, Thomas.

Stop it! Stop apologizing! We can just go home and pretend this never happened, please, forget about all of it, it was a stupid idea-

Thomas, stop. I shouldn’t’ve… This was a mistake. I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

That was the moment Thomas felt his heart stop beating.

“Your Midas touch on the Chevy door November flush and your flannel cure "This dorm was once a madhouse" I made a joke, "Well, it's made for me" How evergreen, our group of friends Don't think we'll say that word again And soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls That we once walked through”

Despite the nearly two decades Thomas had spent in London before Alastair, it was never the same without him. He saw him everywhere he went, despite knowing he was thousands of miles away. After graduating uni that May, he accepted a spot at a graduate program in Spain and didn’t look back.

“One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you "You’re the only one I want by my side, What a shame you’re fucked in the head," you said”

Those were the words that haunted Thomas’ nightmares, even now.

It’s you! It’s only you for me! It was always going to be you! But I can see now that I was never going to be enough for you, you and your secrets and walls and your lies. It’s a shame… it’s a shame you’re so fucked in the head, Alastair. You’ll never truly love anyone, will you? You’re not physically capable of it.

Alastair hadn’t responded. Thomas had wanted a rise out of him, any reaction at all, despite knowing how lethal and volatile Alastair could become when provoked. But there was nothing. Not a flicker of anything in his steeled expression. He’d simply looked down, apologized again for any pain that he’d caused, and left.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

Thomas and his sister left for Edinburgh that night, and when he’d returned to London, Alastair was gone.

“Well, you'll find the real thing instead Who'll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing Crestfallen on the landing With champagne problems”

Thomas couldn’t imagine giving his heart to anyone again, not now and certainly not then. He’d dated in Madrid, but it had always stayed casual. He’d made sure of it. He could see now that he and Alastair had gotten together quickly, moved in together quickly, done all of it very quickly. After all, he’d fallen hard and fast. He gave all of himself to Alastair, and he’d nearly lost all of himself in the process.

“Your mom's ring in your pocket New picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems

“You won't remember all my Champagne problems”

Now, he wondered what the rest of the story was. He’d convinced himself that Alastair had never loved him, that he was heartless and cruel, though he’d known that wasn’t true. Could Alastair have written this song if he’d never truly loved him? Perhaps he was a sociopath.

Thomas felt like he should run. Like he should pick up his bag and dart out of the apartment before Alastair could notice him, find some hotel somewhere with undoubtedly extraordinary high rates and just pretend like this never happened. He could get back on a plane and go back home to his parents and delete his phone browser history and pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he could not move.

He didn’t know how many minutes had passed before Alastair’s door opened. He looked up with a start.

“Thomas,” Alastair breathed. He stood wide eyed, flushed.

“Do you two already know each other then?” Piers asked.

There was a moment of silence before Thomas cleared his throat. “We used to,” he said, looking down.

“I, er, I forgot that your friend was coming today,” Alastair told Piers. “It’s quite a long journey from London, you should have told me, I would have been quieter.”

Thomas considered correcting him for a moment, but decided not to. “Don’t worry about it. I heard you had your first big release. Congratulations.”

Alastair gave an awkward nod. “Thank you. Right, well, I’ll just…” He rushed over to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’ll try to be a bit quieter.”

“Don’t- It’s fine, really. In fact, I’m sure there’s some hotel in the area I can stay at for now, actually-”

“Well, don’t leave on my account,” Alastair interrupted. “We agreed to let you stay here, and the city’s a bloody mess right now. I’ll stay out of your hair, Thomas.”

Thomas only nodded as Alastair disappeared back behind his bedroom door.

Thanks for reading! Taglist (ask to be +/-): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @itsjusta-j-really

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfic #fanfiction #champagne problems au

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upthenorthmountain · 3 years ago

Text

Where the World is in the Making - Chapter 13

I wrote this for the Summer 2021 Frozine, huge thank you to @punkpoemprose for putting that together! And to @karis-the-fangirl as always. Here we go

Previous Chapters

Chapter 13

The Solheims had been good people. Still were, Kristoff was sure. It was Mrs Inga Solheim who had nursed his mother through her last illness, who had said to Kristoff, after - Well, get your things together. Don’t you want to see what it’s like out West? And he had - not that he had anything else to do or anywhere else to go - so he’d pulled together the few things that he was sure were his and joined them in the back of their covered wagon. They’d inched their way across the country, along with the other two wagons of Solheims (all three were brothers, and each had a wife, and between them six children when they set out and seven when they arrived, not counting Kristoff), and he’d been quiet and anxious, desperate to prove he could be useful, that he was worth taking all that way. He’d worked hard for them and learnt a lot, and until the day he died he’d be overwhelmingly grateful for the chance they’d given him.

And now, for something else.

There was an interesting item in the newspaper last week, Mrs Solheim had written. An article about how there aren’t enough women out West. Good men with good farms who can’t find a wife. And some have apparently been placing advertisements in the newspaper to find one! What an idea! But it seems some have been successful. You should try it, Kristoff! I’m sure you must be lonely.

What an idea, indeed. He’d rolled his eyes and ignored it, but she’d mentioned it again, and again, and eventually he’d done it just so she’d stop. He’d never in a million years thought he’d actually get an applicant. He hadn’t thought he’d wanted one.

Anna was weeding the vegetable garden. The plants were all full-grown now, tall and green, and she was kneeling - she never had much regard for her skirts - between them as she worked.

With her help, he’d been able to repair the fields after the storm, and lost far less than he’d feared. With her help, the chickens were happy and gave plenty of eggs; the cow was happy and gave plenty of milk (and the goat was happy, too, though his high spirits were not usually a cause for celebration). With her help, the garden had flourished, and was producing enough that she and Elsa had already spent a day with Marta Ogg preserving and canning and would have plenty more to put up before the season was over.

Anna suddenly jumped back onto her heels with an “Ouch!” and Kristoff hurried over.

“Are you alright?”

“Oh - yes - thank you -” she peered at her finger. “A little bit of something just ran under my fingernail. But it’s not bleeding so I guess it didn’t go too far. Is it nearly dinner?”

“I’ve been out in the fields, you tell me.”

“Elsa’s cooking. I keep thinking I smell something but I can’t work out what.” She waved her hands at him until he backed up, then shuffled along on her knees to the next section of the vegetable bed. “I like it when she cooks. She’s a much better cook than I am.”

Kristoff opened his mouth and then closed it again, choosing to kneel next to her rather than speak. Anna laughed. “Thank you.”

“I don’t mean - the two of you have different talents.”

“Okay.”

“You complement each other.”

“Well, maybe that’s true.”

“She wouldn’t have much to cook without you here, doing this.”

Anna sat back and hugged her knees. “Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m here,” she said. “Sometimes everything before seems like a dream.”

She looked at him, and no matter how muddy her skirts or how much of the dirt had found its way to her face, her eyes were always that same perfect clear blue.

“And I’m glad,” she said. “I’m glad I’m not there any more.”

“Glad to be out of the city? Away from - people that were unkind?”

“No, you don’t understand. Before…” Anna sighed. “I didn’t do anything. I mean. I called on people, and I went out and danced and talked to more people, and I embroidered and I looked pretty and none of it had any point. Nothing I did made anyone’s life better, or easier. I was just - passing the time. My whole life. Looking pretty and passing time.”

Anna sighed again, then reached over and plucked another weed from the soil.

“There you go,” she said. “I pulled up one weed, and I’ve already been more useful than I would have been in a whole week back in the city.”

“You like to be useful.”

“I don’t like to be useless. Or pointless.”

They both sat there, among the green plants, beneath the endless sky. Kristoff could feel it, building, and he was leaning in towards her ever so slightly when Anna said abruptly, “I want to mean something,” and turned her eyes to his again, blue as the ocean and clear as the running stream.

It’s slow, sometimes, but it wears away bit by bit - or comes crashing through all at once - and nothing is the same after.

He leant towards her again, just as Elsa called them to the house for dinner.

-----

The narrow bed in the tiny room was familiar enough now. It almost felt cosy. Before coming here Anna had had her own bedroom for years, but it had never been quiet - there was always noise on the streets outside, or people passing in the corridors. Out here, being alone would have been deathly silent without the sound of Elsa’s breathing.

It wasn’t silent outside tonight, though. She could hear someone singing.

Or rather, not ‘someone’. It was a man’s voice, and there was only one man within miles, so it must be Kristoff singing. Anna couldn’t make out any words. She’d heard him whistling before, around the farm, but never singing.

She wriggled out of the bed. Elsa stirred and opened her eyes.

“I just need to, um,” Anna said, knowing that Elsa would assume she was going to the outhouse; sure enough, her sister gave a little nod and closed her eyes again.

The summer air was warm and Anna barely regretted not picking up a shawl. As she pushed the barn door open she felt a brief pang, remembering another night that she’d come out to the barn in her nightdress - but that quickly disappeared, replaced by the sight in front of her. Kristoff was sitting against the far wall, with his straw hat upside down in his lap, and the hat was full of kittens; and he was singing to them in the warm glow of a lantern.

Anna stood there for one long, breathless moment. She didn’t know the song. She didn’t even know what language it was in, although she could guess that it was Norwegian. It was a soft song; a lullaby. The kittens seemed to be appreciating it, cuddling up together in the hat, and for a second Anna thought she was going to cry. Then Kristoff finished his verse, looked up and saw her.

“Anna,” he said, and cleared his throat, sitting up straighter to a chorus of irritated meows.

“I heard you singing,” she said, walking all the way into the barn and closing the door behind her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you -”

“You didn’t. What song is that?” she said, sitting down next to him and tucking her feet beneath her.

Kristoff looked at his hands for a moment. “My mother used to sing it,” he said.

“When you were little?”

He smiled. “Yes.” He hesitated again, then said “I don’t want to forget it.”

Sometimes Anna got so caught up in the everyday that she forgot all kinds of things. Like, for example, the fact that they were both orphans. She knew Kristoff’s childhood had been very different to her own. If she tried, Anna could remember her mother tucking her into bed with a soft lullaby, but she could more often remember a nursemaid putting her to bed and blowing out the candle. A goodnight from her mother was usually a brief kiss; a goodnight from her father was a nod. And every day it grew fainter and her memories rearranged themselves to match the handful of photographs in the bottom of her and Elsa’s trunk.

It was better to think about the present and the future than the past. She knew that. And her mind obligingly presented her with an image - Kristoff singing that lullaby to a baby. Or maybe to an older child, as he tucked the blankets around them, and then he’d look at his wife and smile -

Anna turned her face away - she knew she was blushing. Now she remembered long ago asking a nursemaid where babies came from, and being given a confusing story about storks and cabbage patches and parcels sent directly from Heaven by God Himself. Now she was here in the warm soft lantern glow with her husband, and when she looked up he was watching her. He’d nearly kissed her in the vegetable patch earlier, she was sure. Not too far from the cabbages. The thought made her laugh and she swallowed it in a yawn.

“You should go back to bed,” Kristoff said. He’d put his hat down, and the kittens had escaped; one was sitting on his foot.

“I’m not tired,” Anna said, sitting up straighter. “I couldn’t sleep, actually.”

“Really? I thought I was working you hard enough. Obviously not.”

“I’m surprised you can sleep out here at all.”

“I’m used to it.”

“It’s not fair. You work hard too.”

“I’m a man.”

“You’re a person.”

He smiled at her indignance. “Well, if we have a good harvest, maybe I can get some lumber.”

“Mr. Ogg said they’d help!”

“I can manage. I did the rest myself.”

“Mmhmm. Like you darned your own socks. A person can be too self-reliant.”

“What’s wrong with my house?”

“Nothing! Except -” Except we don’t have our own bedroom. No, she would never be bold enough to say that out loud, and now she was blushing again.

If he kisses me now, Anna thought, there’s no one to stop us. Every other person and animal within miles is sleeping. The thought made her heart thump in her chest, and she couldn’t think of anything to say to cover her embarrassment so instead she turned away, pretending she was watching one of the kittens.

She looked up when Kristoff put his hand on her left shoulder. “Anna,” he said, and ran his hand down her arm, stopping at her hand, raising it so that her ring shone in the light of the lantern. There was an ache in her chest when she met his gaze, and everything before this moment felt like a dream. The only thing that was real was right here and now, where all her choices had led her, to the perfect moment -

He kissed her. Anna knelt up, eager, and her slipper fell off and she caught her knee in her nightdress but Kristoff wrapped an arm round her waist and kissed her again. She still stumbled a little, and steadied herself with her arm on the floor; and then it only required Kristoff to make the smallest movement and they were lying on the blanket, side by side.

For a second they blinked at each other, his arm still round her waist, her hand on his shoulder. Then Anna pressed forward again, pulling herself towards him, kissing him with her whole body against his. She half-expected him to draw back, but he didn’t; instead he ran his hand up her back to her shoulders, holding her in place.

She felt giddy. There was no one to stop them and she didn’t want them to. Alright, maybe there was only a rough blanket over a dirt floor and whatever was in that sack Kristoff used as a pillow, maybe this wasn’t exactly how she’d pictured this, but -

But there was someone to stop them, and that was them. Kristoff pulled his lips from hers and rolled onto his back, exhaling deeply. He closed his eyes for a long second, then opened them and held out his arm. Anna hesitated.

“Come here,” he said. “You didn’t - do anything wrong. It’s just…”

Not like this, was what she knew he meant. As her heartbeat slowed back to normal, Anna realised she had a piece of straw poking her through the back of her nightdress, a kitten trying to climb her braid and a draught through a gap in the boards going places she wouldn’t care to mention. Much as she wished right now that her husband was slightly less considerate, he did have a point. She wriggled over to Kristoff and lay down with her head on his shoulder, smiling a little as she felt him pull the pointy straw off her back and throw it away.

He put his arm around her, his hand on her waist. Anna could hear his heart beating, feel his chest rise and fall with his breathing. It was so comfortable.

She opened her eyes when Kristoff said “Hey. Anna. You don’t want to fall asleep out here.”

Maybe she did. “I‘m good.”

He opened his arm to release her. “Go to bed. It’s late.”

“You don’t want me to stay?”

He looked pained. “I want you to go to bed.”

So she left and went inside. But when she got into her bed, it somehow felt at once both too small and too empty.

#WTWIITM #where the world is in the making #my art #fanfic

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spine-buster · 4 years ago

Text

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | three

A/N: Thanks again for your positive feedback on this mini-series! Please keep those canon questions coming as you guys know I loooove answering them to help build the canon! This one is a short one but it will be made up for by the last two chapters.

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

* * * * *

Brock and Grace were having fun. Actual, genuine, real fun. Whenever they were together, they were smiling and laughing and kissing and having a good time. They’d go out to eat at Vancouver’s best restaurants. They’d take walks in parks or along the seawall. They’d get coffee at cute little cafés and munch on bespoke cookies or donuts that would make Brock complain about extra hours in the gym. They’d invite Elias and Svea with them and it would be great, because they were great, and they’d all just be constantly laughing. Grace and Svea got closer – much closer. Elias and Brock were tearing it up for the Canucks. Grace and Svea would go to bars for a glass of wine before going to games together. They’d cheer and clap and sing along with all the songs being blasted throughout the arena.

Fun. Life was fun.

***

“How do I bite it?!” Brock was incredulous at the size of the cupcake Grace got him. It was bigger than his jaw could open. Elias and Svea were already ready with their damn phones to film him. “I can’t…” he tried to bring it up to his mouth.

“Just put the whole thing in your mouth!” Grace exclaimed.

“That’s what she said,” Elias mumbled, only to garner a disapproving mother look from Brock and a slap on the arm from Svea. “What! Isn’t that the joke?!”

“Don’t be crass,” Svea chastised before focusing her attention back on Brock. “Just bite the thing, Brock. Just…just stuff it in there,” he pretended to do the motion herself.

“Again, that’s what she said.”

Grace hit Elias too this time.

***

“You can get us reservations to Hawksworth?” Svea asked in shock.

Grace nodded casually, like it was the easiest thing in the world to get a reservation at Vancouver’s best and most exclusive restaurant. “The Gillespie’s own the Rosewood Hotel Georgia.”

“You do?”

Grace nodded again before sucking back on an oyster. “When do you want to eat there?”

“Oh, I – I don’t know. Can I get back to you?”

“Of course! Just let me know.”

“Wow Grace,” Svea said. “You really do have the world at your fingertips. Vancouver especially.”

Grace shrugged her shoulders. “It’s a blessing and a curse. I can’t go anywhere without running into someone that knows my dad or knows who I am and thinks they know me. It’s even worse when they knew my dad a long time ago and only ask about how he’s doing with his Parkinson’s now. Most of the time they don’t even truly care. And I’d trade it all in, every single penny, if it meant my dad never got Parkinson’s.”

Svea couldn’t imagine living that kind of life. She didn’t know how Grace did it – or Brock, for that matter. She would be a sobbing mess on the floor every single day. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive when I—”

“Oh God no. No no no – you don’t need to apologize. I just…” Grace paused, trying to collect her thoughts. “I know how fortunate I am, believe me. I just don’t think people know that – that I know I’m fortunate. But Parkinson’s – any chronic illness – it really humbles you. Most people don’t know what that’s like. And like, thank God they don’t. But they think they know.”

All Svea could do was nod her head and listen.

***

Whenever Brock sent a text that said ‘come over and watch a movie’ Grace knew what that really meant. But instead of finding it lewd, she’d slather on some raspberry chapstick and be on her merry way to Brock’s apartment.

When they were done, and lying in bed together, with her head on his chest and her hair sprawled everywhere, that’s when the talking would begin. “How’s your dad doing?” “Are the new round of meds working?” “Is he having more trouble getting up now?” “What are the doctors saying?” “How’s his memory?” “How’s the swallowing?” “Are the doctors recommending speech therapy?”

“When I quit dance, my dad was so disappointed,” Grace revealed one night as Brock was running his hands through her hair. “It was the only thing I was ever really, really good at. I wasn’t the best in school. I just didn’t get things the way other kids did. And when I told him the reason, he made me promise I’d keep doing dance in some capacity. I maybe wouldn’t do it super-competitively anymore with him driving me all around BC and flying me all over Canada and the US to attend competitions, but I’d still do it. That’s why I teach at the Goh Ballet. Like…I know I’m not the smartest girl in the world, but I like to think I have a big heart. And I just hope that people see that.”

“I wear number six because it was my dad’s number,” Brock revealed too, one night when they were alone. “I wanted…I wanted to make sure that if he wasn’t around, my career would still honour him in some way. I want that to be my legacy…like, everything I do, I do for my dad.”

Grace nodded. She completely understood. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who knows and understands exactly what I’m going through,” she said. “Do you think it was fate that brought us together at that meeting?”

Brock found himself nodding his head automatically. “Of course,” he said softly.

***

“I’m sorry we couldn’t have you at the house for dinner, Brock, but our chef is on vacation,” Eliza Carmichael, Grace’s mom, smiled from across the table as she sipped on her glass of wine. From beside her, her husband, Grace’s step-dad James kept perusing the menu, as did Grace’s two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo, who were seated at opposite heads of the table.

“Oh that’s no problem at all,” he smiled politely, grabbing Grace’s hand underneath the table and squeezing it gently before putting it in his lap. “I actually come here with the boys sometimes. The food here is amazing.”

“It is, isn’t it? James knows the head chef,” she said. “Grace tells me you’re a hockey player.”

It was at that point that James put down his menu. “Honey, he plays for the Vancouver Canucks. We’ve been over this.”

Eliza rolled her eyes playfully before picking up her menu. It was only at that point that Brock noticed the giant rock on her finger. It was the size of his eyeball. “Grace tells me you live in Shaughnessy,” he said, trying to make polite conversation. “I hear that’s a beautiful neighbourhood.”

“Oh, it is. Perfect place for the quiet life hockey player’s lead,” James joked. Brock forced out a chuckle.

***

“I love this song!!!” Grace exclaimed as the DJ began to play some old school Rihanna. She downed the rest of her drink and slapped the glass against the bar before grabbing Brock’s arm with one hand and Svea’s hand with the other, knowing that Svea would, on instinct, grab Elias’s arm and drag him to the dance floor too.

The club was completely unstuffy. There were no girls dressed to the nines, no four-inch stiletto heels digging into Grace’s feet, no people showing up just to be seen in booths with bottle service. It was completely unpretentious and that’s how Grace liked it. Considering her lifestyle and her wealth, it was actually how she liked everything. So when the DJ began playing pop songs, she couldn’t help but start dancing uncontrollably. To his credit, Brock did too. It was like he lost all his inhibitions and began moving his body in tune with the music. Even Elias and Svea did, and Grace knew how…well, quiet they were. This wasn’t their scene at all but they were having the time of their life dancing with each other, spinning each other around and moving to the beat of the music.

For at least a night, Grace could forget. She could forget how her parents used her to get back at one another during an awful divorce. She could forget her mom re-married an equally as nice guy as her dad but became more pretentious as the years went on and the wealth accumulated. She could forget that she made the decision to quit dancing professionally. She could forget her dad had Parkinson’s. For one night, everything was perfect. Everything was fun. Everything was how it should be.

***

“Fuuuuck, baby,” Brock groaned as he watched Grace climb on top of him, leaning forward so she could press his breasts up against his face. He immediately took the opportunity to place wet, open mouth kisses all over her breasts, kissing down to her nipples before taking them in his mouth. He could feel her grab his cock and lower herself onto it, sighing at the feeling of him filling her up. “Feel good?”

“You always feel amazing,” she smiled, her hair falling around her face. “That’s why I can’t stop fucking you.”

Brock chuckled, a cocky smile on his face as he reached up and brought Grace’s face down so he could kiss her and stick his tongue down her throat. “Ride me, baby,” he mumbled against her lips.

Grace began rocking her hips back and forth, her body moving so expertly and so in tune with Brock’s. Almost immediately, she began to moan, and Brock grabbed her hands and intertwined their fingers so she’d have something to brace against. Brock was in a trance – as he usually was when Grace was riding. He was completely and utterly transfixed by her in every sense of the word, and in every way; from the hair on her head to the red nail polish on her toes.

“God, I fucking love you, Grace.”

The words had barely escape Brock’s mouth before he realized the magnitude of what he said, how he said it, and when he’d fucking said it. God, he was such a fucking idiot!!!!! During sex?! Really?! Way to live the cliché Brock Boeser! Way to be a fucking idiot and—

“I fucking love you too, Brock,” he heard Grace say, a smile adorned on her face. The both of them giggled, and couldn’t stop giggling for a while even though she was still riding him. It was miraculous. “Way to say it for the first time while I’m riding you,” she joked.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said.

“You’re lucky I love you, because that’s such an amateur move, Brock.”

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peaceoutofthepieces · 4 years ago

Text

Tracing Time

Tuesday, 08:21

Song: Maggie Rogers - Dog Years

Sander is still rubbing at his eyes as he wanders into the kitchen, yawning loudly as he half-blindly makes his way towards the table. Before he can even get there, however, his mother is blocking his path and shoving a cake in his face and his dad is joining her to chorus, “Happy Birthday!”

“Uhm,” Sander blinks at them.

It’s strange to see that his mother is clearly wide awake, and that his father hasn’t left for work yet. Though he is already dressed in his police uniform, as one should always be when apparently preparing to have cake for breakfast. “Thanks. Don’t we usually do this in the evening, though?”

“Blow out your candles,” his mom orders. “Remember to make a wish!”

Twenty candles. The woman has twenty candles in a circular cake. (He’s sure, he counts them.) There’s already wax threatening to drip onto the icing, where the hastily piped ‘Happy Birthday Sander’ has holes pierced in it, the cake too small and the candles too numerous to avoid all of the writing.

Sander quickly blows out the candles.

“What did you wish for?” Léa asks, innocent and eager.

His dad, Ciel, makes a noise of protest and holds a hand up towards Sander. “If he tells you, it won’t come true.”

Sander points at him in agreement, and Léa huffs. It’s odd, that it’s odd to see his parents standing in front of him so early, interacting so casually, doing it all together. It’s not that they’re a distant couple, far from it. Sander’s father is just a busy man who sleeps and wakes early, and his mother is a not-quite-as-busy woman who has the luxury of being her own boss and rivals Sander’s own temperamental sleep schedule. They do not have breakfast as a family because they do not cross paths in the morning. They have dinner all together once or twice a week, if they get lucky. But there is certainly a bigger chance of their evenings coinciding.

So what is happening here?

“We’ll keep this for another time, I made actual breakfast,” his mother adds, gesturing at the table—with the cake still in her hands. Sander takes it from her quickly and sets it aside on the counter.

“Are we not having dinner, then?” he asks carefully.

They both give him bland looks. He curses both their heights—surely he should have earned an extra few inches from them. “We know you won’t be free for dinner,” Léa says.

Sander opens his mouth. Closes it again. Smiles sheepishly. “Oh.”

She huffs as she squeezes his shoulder. “But at least I can still be the first to wish my son happy birthday.” At his increasingly sheepish expression, she corrects, “In person. My god.”

It’s part of the reason he’s so sleepy still. He’d stayed up on a video call with Robbe until (well after) midnight, and the boy had wished him ‘happy birthday’ countless times, peppering kisses at the camera and apologising every time he’d started to nod off. It was possibly the cutest thing Sander has ever had the honour of witnessing. His lips twitch in a smile as he thinks about it again now.

He’d gotten a slew of other messages, all almost simultaneously at midnight. Gilles and Emilie and Thomas had all messaged almost at once into their small group chat, with varying styles and lengths and emoji usage. Adi and Lucas had both kept it sweet and simple. Milan had sent him a short video singing all of ‘Happy Birthday’ and blowing him a kiss. Jens had sent him one a few minutes late simply saying ‘happy bday. no I didn’t forget’, which Sander had blinked and then laughed at. He’d responded to them a while too late, after Robbe had eventually decided they both needed to sleep.

“Why couldn’t we just ask Robbe to join us for dinner?” Ciel asks. Not for the first time, Sander thinks that, for a policeman, his father is at times worryingly oblivious.

Léa clearly agrees, as she simply rolls her eyes in response. “I’m sure they’ll have their own private plans, of course he’ll want to spend his birthday with his boyfriend.”

“Uhm,” Sander says, again. “I still have class first though, so…”

“We should eat,” Ciel agrees, but glances at his wife. “Gifts now too, or in the evening?”

She considers it for a moment, then nods decisively. “We will do it before you two have to go. I’m not sure it’s too exciting, but you can make more use of it this way, maybe.” She offers Sander an apologetic smile.

He waves her off and presses a kiss to her cheek. “Don’t be silly.”

She returns his gestures and then pulls him to the table, pressing him down into a chair and piling food in front of him. It doesn’t matter that he’s not quite hungry enough for it, not this soon after waking, and his stomach protests a little with each bite. He enjoys it. He sits and eats with a parent at either side of him and he doesn’t get the feeling of too much. He doesn’t think undeserved. He’s not worrying about another year gone and him still the same. He’s not hit by a wave of inexplicable loneliness, or fretting over his current painful mistake, or mourning another year of life gone in which he has failed to grow up.

It’s all there, lurking in the constant shadows, but it’s not there, at the same time. Instead it’s his parents’ light bickering, and the memory of Robbe’s ‘goodnight kiss’, and all those messages on his phone.

And it’s relief.

Another year. Twelve months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes.

All that time, and nothing has really changed.

No intrinsic part of his life has altered, nothing’s gone. He’s still managing school (mostly), he still has the same friends, his parents are still fairly understanding, his unrelenting mental illness still hasn’t killed him, and he still has the man of his dreams across infinite universes (as said man claims).

He’s still here. Breathing, living. Thriving, his mind exalts.

“That’s a genuine little smile,” his father notes, returning it with one of his own. “It’s nice to see.”

Warmth spreads through Sander, cushioning his heart but also sneaking into his cheeks as he shakes his head and takes another overstuffed mouthful of food. Ciel’s smile just widens in understanding, and Sander feels a twinge for how often he turns the man away. It’s moments like these where he thinks it’s wrong to do so, that he should give him more of a chance on occasion, that maybe he really would be more helpful than Sander lets himself hope for.

But it doesn’t matter, today. Nothing like that needs to matter when they’re all happy to make it about his birthday.

They give him his gifts after breakfast, quickly. New clothes that he likes enough to go change into before he leaves, wearing the tee with subtle Bowie graphics with pride. There’s the usual restocking of art supplies as well, more expensive than he ever buys himself and which he gives his mother another kiss for. Then they pass him a card, which has sappy words in his mother’s handwriting and money tucked inside.

“Thank you,” he says, for the third or fourth time, squeezing them both in a quick hug as Ciel checks his watch and Léa smacks him on the arm for it. “Everything is perfect, really. And we can have some cake in the afternoon? I’ll come back for a while before I meet up with Robbe.”

His mother narrows her eyes and places a hand on her heart playfully. “So kind of you to include me in your busy day, the woman who brought you into this world.”

Ciel smiles at her, in a way that suggests he’s heard this particular speech before. “Yes, really a day to celebrate you, if we’re doing it right.”

“Of course,” Sander agrees, nodding sagely. “What was it? Seventeen hours of labour?”

“Followed by twenty years of tender and loving care,” she adds, and Sander laughs.

He wraps his arm around her shoulder and kisses the top of her head before leaning away to pick up his bag. “Truly the best,” he tells her.

“Save me some cake,” Ciel requests, also collecting his things by the door.

“But you weren’t involved in any of that credit,” Sander notes. “Hard to know if you should get to join in the best part of the celebration.”

“I cooked those croques this morning, and I’ll drive you to college.”

It’s a cheap bribe, considering Sander could drive himself if he so wished, but he still beams and pats his father’s shoulder, following him out. “A slice will be left in the fridge.”

~^~

previous/next

#wtfock #sobbe #sander driesen #sander season #tracing time

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feysandfeels · 4 years ago

Note

Which TS songs remind you of the different couples in SJM’s books???

Boy do I ??

You are a blessed soul for asking me this, and know that I adore you.

There is now a part II to this.

Feysand:

Begin Again: “I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does Is break and burn, and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” Baby Feyre finding that love is not toxic, that love is supportive, that love can be wonderful. “You said you never met one girl who had As many James Taylor records as you But I do” but think of is as “he said he never met a girl who wasn’t afraid of his power, but i do”. Also also “Walked in expecting you'd be late But you got here early and you stand and wave I walk to you” because Feyre’s used to T*mlin’s mediocre ass but Rhys surprised her by being a decent human and treating her with respect, which makes her realize that she was starved for respect and that T*mlin was not giving her what every decent human being should get from the get go from their partner.

Ivy: Feyre slowly falling in love with Rhys, thinking about Rhys in the Spring Court between Night Court visits Also throughout ACOMAF how she battles with her ever growing feelings for the Lord of the Night, while feeling guilty about T*mlin, because they *just broke up*: “Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you” and “I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed He's in the room Your opal eyes are all I wish to see He wants what's only yours”.

End game: I can practically see Rhys singing this in the shower thinking about Feyre, when she decided to work with him and him thinking like “YES THIS HAS TO BE A SIGN”. His reputation precedes him and in rumours he’s knee deep, him and Feyre would be a big conversation, he has enemies, he has heard about her and she has heard about him. He thinks “she’s so dope that he might overdose”. She’s been calling his bluff on all his usual tricks so here’s the truth from his red lips!!!!!

Dress: “Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me Flashback to my mistakes My rebounds, my earthquakes Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me And I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side My one and only, my lifeline”. Need I say more? I think not your honor.

Call it what you want: “I said you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?” That’s Feyre’s whole arc, I rest my case.

Nessian: the happiness I feel about the fact that these two are together is just enough to make me smile on a Monday

False God - The song literally opens up saying “We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you” HELLOOOO?? NESTA THINKING ABOUT THAT SCENE IN ACOWAR?? but also feeling that she’s unworthy of Cassian and that there is no way in hell that he will love her with all that she is.

Don’t Blame Me - The power of this song lies in the I unapologetic- powerful-full on I give myself to you and I will do it over and over again energy it has. And this is the energy that Nesta has for Cassian (even when homegirl really tries to pretend otherwise lol boo you tried). The “through your love I found salvation” religious aspect of Don’t blame me is Nesta, because through Cassian’s love and presence she found the perspective she needed on herself. Also this book was a religious experience for me. Jesus fuck.

Sparks Fly: From Cassian to Nesta, with love. First of all Cassian would be a diehard swiftie (all of the bat boys for that matter, merch a the concert, what will we do if we get invited to the rep room?? fans. Az woud be like the quiet yet “no, speak one ill word of Taylor and that’s your end, she did nothing wrong she was framed and I have evidence”). Second of all “The way you move is like a full on rainstorm And I'm a house of cards You're the kind of reckless that should send me running But I kinda know that I won't get far” That’s him alright, that’s him knowing that Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and he wants nothing nothing but to be in that storm and live within the force of nature that she is. Thirdly “My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea You touch me once and it's really something You find I'm even better than you, imagined I would be I'm on my guard for the rest of the world But with you I know its no good And I could wait patiently But I really wish you would”

Elucien: This is an Elucien blog.

Lover - In all honesty wanted to give this song to Feysand, because they are my main otp and this song is the highest of the high from Taylor, but I can’t deny the fact that this song screams Elucien. “With every guitar string scar on my hand” I think is a beautiful parallel for Elain and gardening, “My heart’s been borrowed, and yours has been blue” this speaks of Gr*yson and Jesminda, “I loved you three summers now but I want them all” that’s Lucien speaking ma’am. “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?”, both of them about the bond. “And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover” we all know Lucien has a mind for dirty jokes and sass and Elain would always save him the sit next to her because he is the one who truly saw her and, in his distance, was the presence she needed while she figured it all out. Finally, The fact that the song has very clear wedding tones I think fits the headcanon, that more than a mating ceremony, Elucien would have a wedding, because it feels like something Elain would feel more comfortable with.

Treacherous -“I can't decide if it's a choice Getting swept away I hear the sound of my own voice Asking you to stay”..... mmmmmm is this or isn’t it Elain getting closer to Lucien, but still wondering if it’s the bond or her, yet nonetheless surrendering to the fact that she wants him to stay. “This slope is treacherous This path is reckless This slope is treacherous And I, I, I like it” Elain doesn’t want an easy love, to simple do as the bond suggests she wants something that has twigs and branches and where she needs to question herself and truly ask what she wants out of life and this relationship. Also the softness of the melody juxtaposed with the vulnerability, brings a soft rawness that is Elain.

King of my heart: Neither of them expected to feel like they could love with all the hope and unapologetic free falling feel characteristic of first loves, yet here we are. They rule their kingdom inside the room because they are discovering their feelings for each other away from prying eyes and people that have expectations on how they should work with the mating bond and all that. “Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury” Again, with the love away from everyone, feeling their world shift around what they are starting to feel for one another. “Is the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending With all these nights we're spending” did we say healing arc through love and support an “not expecting anything to come off this, but I just want to see you well” à la sjm?? I THINK WE DID.

Emorie: I’m working with crumbs here, delicious crumbs that will make a delicious emorie cake, but crumbs nonetheless.. I need more and I need it now.

I think he knows - My girl Emerie crushing hard hard haaaaaaaaard on Mor.

Cruel Summer - “I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh) And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard” this is prime PRIME PRIME ANGST, we will get from these two.

Gwynriel: this is an edit because I'm not a hoe for these two (yet...trust me once I see Az heal this is the tag where you will find me) and I did not know which songs might fit them and then when I posted it I was like WAIT WAIT I KNOW.

Gold rush - Gwyn talking herself out of her crush on Az after finding out about the whole necklace and being like “I don’t want a gold rush”.

Daylight - Az is a Taylor hoe first, spymaster second. She just makes him feel things. But in all seriousness “Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it goI wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love” this is Az healing and being in better place where he can reflect on how he used to relate to love and romantic relationships, he now understands that love is not black and white but golden. He stepped into this notion of love and through it he found a beautiful relationship with Gwyn, he wants to be defined by the love he feels for her and the love he feels for his family, not by the things that haunted him, not by his mistakes, not by his trauma. He is golden, he is daylight, shadows and all he is daylight.

Az + Elain: As a romantic end game they are not my ship, but I do stand by my pre-acosf position that these two would be really good friends

Out of the woods - Where we stand after acosf I say that it is not far fetched that they might hook up and then realize that it’s not for them and that experience helps them access a new part of their healing: “They lost each other, but they found themselves”. The anxiety that this song mirrors is the anxiety of them knowing something doesn’t quite *fit* right, that they are both in turbulent times emotionally and this relationship is not giving them the peace they thought it would. They are paper airplanes, because they know that it’s not the right call for where they are in their own journeys if they want to heal properly and that neither will get what they truly want from the other one. The monsters who turned out to be trees, they are in the woods in this relationship, they were built to fall apart.. are all images that speak of the dynamic we could see of them, they try it doesn’t work and then after, when they are in better places mentally they will look back and be like “we dodge a bullet there didn’t we”.

Bonus: His necklace hanging around her neck, the image is clear there and so is the commentary.

Az + Mor: formerly known as Moriel, the ship that used to reign my heart

Breath - This song is entirely from Az’s perspective once he and Mor talk about, well, everything. This is not how he had planned it, this is not how he wanted this to go, but “people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it’s killing me to see you go after all this time” referencing letting go of the romantic feelings he had for her. They were a crutch for him and now he has to face life and the things that torment him about it, without the protection and comfort his crush on her offered him. “And we know it's never simple, Never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,” regardless of what you all want to think, they do love and know each other but shift in their dynamic will mean an adjustment for both of them... it’s not a clean break. “Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve”, also Idc about what you all think, Az never never never wanted to hurt Mor, if he knew his behavior was in someway affecting her he would have done something, and I think from the aftermath of him going after Eris on ACOWAR we can see that... also this might allude to him actually knowing that Mor is a lesbian and he has tried to make sure she feels safe around him and knows that he has her back agains the whole world if need be, regardless of her lack of romantic feelings for him.

Feyl*n: honestly who knew there would be so many songs that would fit these two. Such bops for a crappy dude like T*mlin.

Exile - “I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)” He never even tried to learn to read her mind, he never turned things around and she gave so so many signs. The way he looks at Rhys like he’s his understudy, but no sugar he’s the principal actor and you got fired.

Getaway car - and I oop. Because that is essentially what they were both to each other. Feyre needed someone to give her security and financial stability, T*mlin needed someone to break the curse: “It was the best of times the worst of crimes”.

Bad blood - LOOOOOL. They used to be mad love and now they have bad blood.

Tell me why - Imma just leave a collection of quotes here that well allude to them through the first act of ACOMAF: “I took a chance, I took a shot And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not You took a swing, I took it hard And down here from the ground, I see who you are” Feyre seeing T*mlin for the abusive person that he is, from the ground.. where his behavior put her. Also “I'm sick and tired of your reasons I got no one to believe in You tell me that you want me, then push me around And I need you like a heartbeat But you know you got a mean streak Makes me run for cover when you're around Here's to you and your temper Yes, I remember what you said last night And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why” The if he loved me, why did he do it and the “it’s not a question of if he loved you but how” conversation she has with Rhys.

I could go on and on forever placing all T-Swift songs around acotar characters, but I think this is getting longer than we all anticipated.. or did we? we all know I am not ✨concise✨. Anywho, thanks for sticking around.

Besos!!

BOOOONUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS:

Obviously, Invisible String is for all my mated/soon to be mated boos, and I think Peace is a song that can apply to both Feysand and Nessian from Rhys’ and Nesta’s perspectives respectively.

#Feysandfeelsasks #Taylor Swift #Sarah J Maas #SJM #ACOTAR #ACOMAF #ACOWAR #ACOSF #Feysand #Nessian #Elucien #Emorie #not to toot my own horn but I think the Daylight one with Gwynriel is amazing #I will pat myself on the back.#Gwynriel #Moriel #and when I tag moriel i mean friendship moriel

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ffangirlingsince2001 · 4 years ago

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Like Her Better

anonymous asked:

HI I was wondering if you could do a geralt x reader where geralt and the reader where basically a thing and they (geralt,them, jaskier) go to a sort of ball where a queen and king has invited them, however yennefer is there and geralt sort of ignores the reader even though geralt promised that if he ever saw yen again he wouldent leave her. And jaskier realises the reader is upset and she sings 'heather by conan gray' and geralt realised what he did and completely regrets it, thanks -🥀🌌

A/N: Thanks for this request, secret muse. It was fun to write and I hope it does your request justice.

Geralt x Reader

Warnings: ANGST

I still remember Third of December Me in your sweater You said it looked better

He promised. He had sworn up and down the whole way there, talking more than even Jaskier as he assured you that no one would pull him away from your side. Not even Yennefer. He kept to his word, keeping you company while Jaskier performed and twirling you around with strong arms when the songs softened. You were halfway through the event when the doors opened, and dramatic as ever Yennefer strutted in. Even the torches seemed to glow a little brighter in her presence.

On me, than it did you Only if you knew How much I liked you But I watch your eyes, as she walks by

You nudged him gently when his eyes followed her around the room, and he smiled apologetically. You asked him if he wanted to say hello and he laughed, proclaiming you were the only one he wanted to talk to. And yet as the night had dragged on, he drifted closer to the corner where Yennefer was staring at him with big violet eyes.

What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than a blue sky She's got you mesmerized While I die

At first, he would wander back to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and squeezing you gently. And then you never seemed able to find him. Your shoulders grew cold and even Jaskier’s little jaunts atop the stage couldn’t seem to make you smile. You slowly melted into he crowds and found yourself a little corner to disappear in. Your eyes searched the crowd, hoping that he was looking for you, pushing through the crowds in an attempt to find you, but there was nothing of the sort. He was nowhere to be found. As his lack of presence grew so did your worry and you considered stepping outside, hoping he was just getting a breath of fresh air. Just as you were about to leave, he stepped into view, the beautiful mage tucked beside him.

Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half, as pretty You gave her your sweater It's just polyester, but you like her better Wish I were Heather

Her hand rested on his arm and his coat was draped around her shoulders. And they looked perfect together. They both contrasted one another and still fit together like they had been forged in the same fire, two of a kind. The matching pair that thousands yearned to find. They had even worn the same color, black, the color of power. You shivered a little and ran your hands over your shoulders, fingers tight as you enviously watched how easily they spoke. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and leaned against him, snuggling a little tighter into his overcoat. He wrapped an arm around her waist, both laughing at something a party guest had said.

Watch as she stands with Her holding your hand Put your arm 'round her shoulder Now I'm getting colder

Tears were welling in your eyes as you watched. Frustration building, curling your toes and clenching your fists. She ran a hand through his hair, and he didn’t bat her away as he often had done to you. You had met her only once before, and she had been haughty, but still kind. She knew what was right, she knew what her role was, and the world had beaten her into submission one too many times. And now you couldn’t even deny her the right to fight so passionately for what she desired. She had done so much for the continent that anyone would have been a fool not to want her, even Geralt who had done just as much as she had. That didn’t change the fact that at this moment you wanted nothing more than to make her disappear forever, of course.

But how could I hate her? She's such an angel But then again, kinda Wish she were dead, as she walks by.

Jaskier approached you as cheerful as ever, a plate in his hand. You caught your reflection there and sighed softly. Even the hours you had spent were nothing compared to the perfectly crafted mage standing at Geralt’s side.

“Are you okay?” he asked nervously, following your red rimmed eyes to the couple across the room. He frowned and pulled you in for a hug. The moment you were wrapped in his arms you allowed yourself to cry, hidden from sight by the colorful embroidery of his shirt. “Hey, hey, he doesn’t deserve you tears,” he cooed and you nodded, wiping away tears.

“It’s just… he promised.” A fresh batch of tears were preparing to appear.

“I know, I know.” You hiccupped as he rubbed your back and you pulled away quickly staring at him confusion.

“Why aren’t you playing anymore?”

“The queen wanted to hear you sing, but if you’re not up for it I will let her know you’re feeling ill.”

“Oh no, give me a minute and I’ll be fine,” you said, quickly wiping your nose and patting at your eyes, doing your best to wipe away any trace of sadness. After a few moments of dapping and straightening you turned towards your friend. “How do I look?”

“Like a woman cowardly men would die for,” he assured you and you smiled, giving him one more hug.

What a sight for sore eyes Brighter than a blue sky She's got you mesmerized While I die

You were led to the stage by a very giddy Jaskier, who informed you he had been bragging about you all night, and curtsied to the queen. She smiled and nodded. You informed Jaskier what tune you wanted, and he nodded in understanding, striking it up quickly. As you began to sing the familiar words, the party’s guests slowed their dancing and gathered around the stage, listening to mournful tune. Even Geralt and Yennefer joined the crowd and you directed your eye contact at the guilty Witcher. You even offered Yennefer a glance and was met only with admiration for the singing. She had the audacity to not even know what was going on.

Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half, as pretty You gave her your sweater It's just polyester, but you like her better I wish I were Heather

The song ended and you dropped into a curtsy as the guests applauded. Tears had built up during the song but you refused to let them fall, especially in front of the man who had caused them. It didn’t matter though, he knew the look in your eyes, and the regret that filled his did nothing to qualm the sadness that he had caused. You allowed Jaskier to escort you to the queen’s table and listened numbly as they showered you with praise, pondering allowed about the man who had caused such a song to be written. When they questioned you, you merely shrugged and smiled slyly.

“I wouldn’t want you to hunt him down,” you responded and they all laughed, proclaiming that if you sang like that you would be welcome at every party that was hosted within the palace walls. You thanked them and silently pleaded with Jaskier to take you away. He politely dismissed you both and led you to the corner, helping you into your own coat for the first time in years. You hugged him again and caught sight of Geralt coming towards, the apologies already tumbling out of his lips, but you had had enough. You didn’t want to hear it, you had been hearing it for too long, and now all you wanted to do was go home. Silently you slipped out the door and into the cold night, trying to forget how his warmth felt on night’s like these.

#geralt x reader #geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia fluff #geralt of rivia angst #geralt of rivia smut #the witcher #the witcher x reader #the witcher smut #the witcher fluff #the witcher angst #the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction

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themusedump · 3 years ago

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emilie autumn + opheliac (2006) sentence memes because I’ve been listening to it a lot since it was put back onto spotify. contains a lot of triggers regarding violence, sexual assault, and other sorts of things. so please read at your own risk

opheliac

“I've been so disillusioned.” “I know you'd take me back but still I feigned confusion.” “I couldn't be your friend, my world was too unstable.” “You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way.” “You know the lies I tell.” “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy.” “There's nothing more you can do. I'm gonna blame it on you.” “It's not the way I want to be.” “I'm open to attack.” “But I don't want to hurt you.” “That's no concern of yours now.” “You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me.” “There's nothing more you can do.” “I'm gonna blame it on you.” “Intelligent girls are more depressed because they know what the world is really like.” “A devil or an angel with no in between.”

swallow

“But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown.” “If I had a chance to change my mind, I wouldn't for the world.” “Can I trust you?” “I don't want to be a legend.” “Oh well that's a god-damned lie.” “To say I do this for the people, I admit is hardly true.” “You think this torment is romantic?” “But would that do any good?” “Then what am I so afraid of?” “The brighter the light, the darker the shadow.” “I've made up my mind.” “Go away“

liar

“I want to be your faithful one.” “I want to show you all the beauty you don't even know you hold.” “I'm hurting you for your own good.” “I'd die for you, you know I would.” “I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground so you can never leave.” “I want to earn your trust.” “You'll never be deceived.” “Liar, liar, liar, liar.” “I want to heal you pretty sweet.” “I'll spend eternity comparing all my poetry to yours.” “I want to see love through your eyes.” “You'll never have to compromise.” “I'd give up all my fame to fight your demons and your bloody wars.” “Are you suffering?“ “I want your suffering.” “I want your beautiful suffering.” “I want to see your pain.”

the art of suicide

“The pain too pure to hide.” “Why live a life that's painted with pity and sadness and strife?” “Why dream a dream that's tainted with trouble and less than it seems?” “Why bother bothering just for a poem or another sad song to sing?” “Why live a life?” “Why bother bothering?” “Well they should be disturbed.” “Because there's a story that ought to be heard.” “The world is full of poets. We don't need anymore.” “The world is full of singers. We don't need anymore.” “The world is full of lovers. We don't need anymore”

i want my innocence back

“I will cut you down.” “I want my innocence back.” “And if you can't pacify me I will break your bones.” “You think I'm bluffing just try me.” “I will never forget the words you used to ensnare me.” “You'll suffer for this I swear.” “And I demand you put my heart back in my hand.”

misery loves company

“I'm just another pretty face.” “You're not the first.” “You're not the last.” “Don't even ask.” “Do I need you? Yes and no.” “Do I want you? Maybe so.” “Did you plan this all along?” “Did you care if it was wrong?” “I'm not for you.” “You're not for me.” “I'll kill you first.” “You wait and see.” “You're one more selfish lover.” “You're so easy to read but the book is boring me.” “Pray for me if you want to.” “Pray for me if you care.” “Pray for me you fucker if you fucking dare.”

god help me

“I don't see how I can live this way.” “Won't you shine in my direction and help me?” “Won't you lend me your protection and help me?” “Believe me, this wasn't what I wanted.” “Am I guilty or am I just waiting around for the tide to come in so the truth can come out?” “And if I had a dollar for every time I repented the sin and commit the same crime, I'd be sitting on top of the world today.” “Just maybe I'll learn to help myself.” “Places, everyone, this is a test.” “Throw you stones, do your damage, your worst.” “But that doesn't compare to what I do to myself when you're not there.” “Don't make me choose, I've got too much to lose.” “I've got to much to fucking lose.”

shallot

“This room's gonna be my grave.” "There is no one who can save me.” “How long can I live this way?” “Is there no one I can pay to let me go?” “'Cause I'm half sick of shadows.” “I wanna see the sky.” “Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down.” “So why can't I?” “I've been waiting for the day I will surely die.” “I've been told that I'll die before I'm old.” “And the wind I know it's cold...” “But still I've got to get out of this place.”

gothic lolita

“How old are you?“ “My life was ended by your hand, the kind of murder where nobody dies.” “The law won't arrest you.” “The world won't detest you.” “You never did anything any man wouldn't do.” “I'm just a dead little girl.” “So it's my fault?“ “You made me what I am today.” “A bundle of broken nerves. A mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say.” “Now that I'm old enough to love I couldn't begin to.”

dead is the new alive

“Despair's the new survival.” “You play the game. You'll never win.” “So take me now or take me never.” “I won't wait.” “You're already late.” “Choose your fate.” “How else can we survive?” “What is day without a blessed night?“ “What is peace without a blessed fight?”

i know where you sleep

“I know, the sickening thoughts that slither around your head.” “Manipulate me if you can, go on and fool me like your biggest fan.” “I know, the arrogant pride that poisons the truth you hear.” “Go on and show them who you really are.” “I know the secrets that you keep.” “I know, the tedious need to turn all your love into hate.” “You poor pathetic paranoid, is it just me or do you secretly enjoy it?“ “You play the victim very well.” “You build your self-indulgent hell.”

let the record show

“Why did I turn to you?“ “I only gave you the chance to prove the rumours true.” “I'm paying with my life.” “Don't think no one understands.” “It happens every day.” “Get them off and they'll let you go.” “You're jealous.” “Why it's a simple excuse for a complex crime.” “So write this on your soul or don't waste my time.” “I've got no evidence to prove my end and so you'll walk away.” “Nope, wrong again!”

306

“If it was a game why couldn't I play?” “Like the story I heard a lifetime ago.” “My reasons to live were my reasons to die. But at least they were mine.”

thank god i’m pretty

“Every skill I ever have will be in question.” “Every ill that I must suffer merely brought on by myself.” “t's lucky I hate to be taken seriously.” “I think my ego would fall right through the cracks in the floor if I couldn't count on men to slap my ass anymore.” “Thank God I'm pretty.”

marry me

“I'll hide my behavior with wine as my savior.” “But, oh, what beautiful things I'll wear!” “So I'll fuck who I choose for I've nothing to lose.” “We're coupled together through hell, hurt, and hunger.” “So why do I wish I was...“

#sentence meme #lyrics meme #roleplay meme

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icecreamkink · 4 years ago

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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

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