#Vetinari probably ordered some of the dark clerks to start self defense training with Drumknott

[mortispoxi]

Pratchett trying to shoehorn in a romantic partner for Drumknott at the end of Unseen Academicals is honest very funny in retrospect because the lad shows up two more times before the series concludes and is still romantically unattached which implies that despite Vetinari and Margolotta’s best efforts to play matchmaker something must’ve gone so wildly wrong that it made the two of them not want to engage with each other any further.

So because of this oversight, my headcanon is that when Drumknott and Miss Healstether had their little rendezvous they argued over who had the better filing method which ended in Vetinari and Margolotta having to physically separate and restrain them to keep them from killing each other. It’s the first and only time Vetinari ever had to reprimand Drumknott in his entire career all because he bit Margolotta’s librarian during the altercation. However, deep down he was more than a bit amused watching two mild mannered individuals throw hands over a ring binder so it was more of a halfhearted, “don’t do it again,” kind of scolding.