#VanessaGritton

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Stick-And-Poke Tats Are The New Face-Painting At Your Kids' Parties!

Here at Bunny Ears, we're all about trends. We try to stay on top of what's hip and happening in the ever-exciting world of parenting. We would literally rather be drawn and quartered than be behind the times, which is why we go all out at our children's' birthday parties. Clowns? Boring. Bounce houses? Yawn. Piñatas? Unless blood is drawn, we don't want to hear about it. We're not basic yuppie parents. We're hella cool. Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Common Board Games For Building A Lifelong Rivalry Between Your Kids

Childcare is important. You're not really raising children; you're raising highly productive and valuable adults. If your tots aren't already on the fast track to Harvard and Wall Street by age nine, you've all but handed them a heroin syringe and given them a Pink Floyd record. Playtime is the best time to teach your kids that every interaction has a winner and a loser, and the latter doesn't get hugs. Here are the best games for teaching your kids that Mommy has a favorite, and it probably isn't them. Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Achieve Perfect Zen Through A Total Lack Of Empathy

Zen: It’s not just a box of sand on a businessman's desk, it’s a way of life. Perfect zen can be achieved through meditation, but it’s just so hard to to reach enlightenment with all the pesky suffering happening in the world. How can one reach a peaceful state of mind while surrounded by a sea of horrific injustice? By completely numbing oneself to the struggles of those around them, that’s how! We took a weekend seminar with one of the many gurus on our payroll, Guru Dayn Rand, author of “Hey You, Yes You. You’re Living Your Life All Stupid.” Guru Dayn graciously invited us to his Scottsdale home to explore the ancient art of finding tranquility by killing the benevolent part of one’s brain. Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

These Crystals Have The Same Names As Women I Cheated On Karen With

Crystals are ever-growing in popularity lately. They have many uses and not only are they charged with energy, many of them share the same name as the many women I used to cheat on my girlfriend, Karen. These sparkly stones look lovely on the windowsill of my new extended stay hotel that I’ve been forced to move into ever since Karen found out that my New Age phase was a coverup for my egregious number of affairs. Let’s look at some of the stones I’ll be sending to Karen as a peace offering in exchange for letting me return home. Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Duolingo Courses Now Teach You How To Talk To Poors

Until the day I can blame a nanny-bot for the rift between my children and I, apps can take care of pretty much everything else. We love apps around these parts. We've tried them all: Apps that summon broken actors to bring you take-out late at night, drive you around the city that has bested them, or build you furniture that they could never afford. Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Xmas Sides That Say: Don’t Ask Janet About Her Marriage To That Ghost

I love Christmas. The sights, the smells, the $1,264 electric bill to keep the Christmas lights up until January to remind our neighbors, the Rosenbergs, what a real festival of lights looks like. However, it takes a skilled hostess to keep the peace at the table. My secret? Incredible side dishes guaranteed to bring the whole family together. Dishes that say, “Sorry we don’t talk as much as we should,” or, “I’m so blessed to spend this joyous occasion with you,” or, “Please do not address that a family member has once again brought home a ghost as a romantic partner.” Read the full article

[bunnyearswebstuff-blog]

Sugar-Free Christmas Cookies Less Disappointing Than Your Incel Son

Baking cookies during the holidays is a great way to delight your loved ones with sweet treats whilst simultaneously lording your homemaking skills over their dumb heads. As everyone and their mother in my tax bracket knows, a gift just isn't a gift if it isn't wrapped with love and condescension. With the increasing rate of  food allergies and intolerances plaguing the nation, it's tough to find recipes that meet everyone's delicate diets. Read the full article