#Vanessa having full conversations with the guy and he’s totally checked out

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa and Mike’s dynamic in the FNAF movie

[abreathofthewild]

And They Were Roommates, Chapter 2/?

Summary: After the events of Endgame, the Avengers try to regain a semblance of normalcy. Steve Rogers decides to move to a small town, get a regular job and a regular roommate…

Word Count: 3709

Warnings: mentions of alcohol. aftermath of a break-in. mentions of blood (small amount!). suggestiveness. eventual warnings for traumatic flashbacks and ptsd. eventual warnings for smut.

Notes: Hello friends! As promised, Chapter 2 of And They Were Roommates is here. I had a ton of help from @gothiclocalcryptid​ who went above and beyond proofreading and editing with me so HUGE shoutout to her <3.  It was so much fun writing this chapter, especially since I got the inspiration to somehow double the word count?! My essays could never. Thanks for reading and I hope y’all enjoy!

Links: Chapter 1

The physical act of getting out of bed two hours later was nearly impossible. You could care less if you fell into a hole and never came back out. Even the sun rising, soft and golden over the skyline, and the smell of freshly ground coffee beans serenading your senses didn’t really improve your mood.

“Not to be rude, but you look like death warmed over.” The second opening barista, Vanessa, almost never minced words. This morning was no exception. You shot her a playful glare as you followed her to the back, throwing your bag and jean jacket into your locker as she placed another tray of crescents in the oven. “Long night?” The question was followed by her handing you an iced coffee with heavy cream, just the way you liked it.

“How’d you guess?” Your question and expression dripped with sarcasm. “Steve--”

“Steve. Steve! If I hear this story I know I’m going to feel like kicking his ass.”

You gathered your hair into a ponytail and sighed, taking another long sip of your drink. At 6:30, customers were starting to file in, but the early birds were sporadic; it wouldn’t get really busy until about 9 or so. Your face lit up as you greeted the older woman who had walked up to the counter, and she frowned as she heard the tail end of Vanessa’s sentence. After making her latte with no foam, you proceeded to set up extra pastries in the display case and wipe down the countertops.

“Look. He pays half the rent, and we never specified we couldn’t bring people to the house. But sometimes, he decides that 2 AM is a good time to bring home… guests.” You didn’t need to bring other people down to get your point across. But... there was an underlying feeling there you didn’t want to acknowledge. Sure, these girls were gorgeous, but they seemed so… fake. Maybe they didn’t seem fake, so much as not right for Steve. Vanessa saw the excuse me expression manifest on your face as you warred with the thought. You proceeded to tell her how the rest of the young woman’s visit had gone. “...And now he’s picking me up when I get off.” You decided to leave out the part where you walked in and he had watched you watch him. The part where your heart had stuttered so hard in your chest you knew the super soldier could hear it. The part where his mouth so close to your ear had sent a shiver tripping down your spine.

“Earth. To. Y/n.” Vanessa’s mouth was agape as she waved her hand in front of your face. “Girl, where the hell did you go just then? Is there something you’re not telling me? I mean, what could be better than finding out that Captain America is taking my favorite coworker on a date?!”

“It’s not a da--”

“Ah! Ah! Don’t interrupt me! What could be better than finding that out? You’ve despised his cocky attitude. He brings random girls home all the time. It’s not very considerate. He knows he’s too beautiful for his own good and he shows it. Yet, despite being woken up like two hours before you had to get ready for work, you’ve gotten surprisingly peppy the longer you’ve been here. Could it be… No.” Vanessa gasped as a huge shit-eating grin plastered itself on her face. You eyed her warily while the sudden feeling of being totally exposed washed over you. “Could it be you like him?” You shook your head vigorously. Nope. No way.

“Um, no? You just gave me a bullet list of all the things to dislike. I’m sure he was different… before… We all were. He is a hero. Always will be. But he’s at a different point in his life now. I haven’t seen the good guy side of him in person.” Your mind skipped over his smile in the photo on the mantle. “He’s a cad!” You said in your best British accent. Vanessa glared at you in playful disbelief.

“Sure. Okay. I’ll play along. Do you even know where you’re going? Do you have anything to change into?” She emphasized the last question like it was the most important thing in the world. You shrugged your shoulders. In all honesty, the only thing you could focus on that morning was to throw some makeup staples in your bag as you had stumbled out the door. She closed her eyes and let out a quiet sigh. “It’s all good. I’ve got something. I always keep a dress in my car, just in case.”

“Vanessa, you’re too much,” you giggled. “I don’t really wear dresses. He sees me like this every day. It’s not a date. He’s taking me out as an apology. If he can’t deal with me in jeans and a t-shirt, that’s his problem, not mine.”

“You’re with me for another six hours, and I can be very convincing.”

Sure enough, 12:45 rolled around--the two mid-shifters taking over for you two having already clocked in--and Vanessa was pushing you into the employee bathroom to change. You applied some mascara, tinted chapstick, and slipped into the dress. The white cotton felt like heaven, and the v-neck did everything for your curves. You made a mental note to attempt to get something for her that could pay her back. After you let your hair down from the ponytail that was starting to give you a slight headache, you stepped out and grabbed your bag. When you came around front, Vanessa stopped dead in her tracks.

“Ay, Dios mio! You’re gonna make me regret wearing that dress after you, ‘cause I know it won’t look that good on me.” She hooked her arm in yours as the two of you meandered to the front of the coffee shop. “Are you nervous?”

You turned your head sharply in her direction. Were you nervous?

“No, why would I be?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “I am still 100 percent convinced this is a date. I would be nervous. What time is it?” You glanced at your phone screen. The numbers read 1:06. A slight flutter of uncertainty pinged around your chest. That first thought of this is stupid… I’m stupid. You shook your head to clear it.

“Let’s go outside and wait. It’s so pretty out today!” It was. There were exactly five tables and chairs outside, and luckily, the one that sat under the dogwood tree was free. It was tucked farther in the back, closer to the building, with an unobstructed view of the street. These factors all made for good people watching. One considerably long conversation later, which had been punctuated by periodic glances at your phone under the guise of checking the time, Vanessa finally hopped up from her seat, planting her hands firmly on her hips as she leveled a stern look at you.

“Uh-uh, we’re not doing this. He proved whatever point needed to be proved. You’ve got better things to do with your time. There’s a new little Mexican-Korean fusion place down the street that I’ve been dying to try. We could drive there faster than you can walk home!” She held her hand out to you, and amidst the usual ‘I’m sure something came up’ excuses you were making for him (making excuses for him--what even was that thought process), you decided to take her lead on things. It wasn’t exactly like you were surprised but it still felt like a rock had been dropped in the pit of your stomach. The afternoon sun was now beating down on the two of you, and an air-conditioned building sounded so good.

“I do have to go home at some point though,” you intoned on a sigh. “It’s gonna be awkward. Probably. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll act like nothing happened.”

Vanessa scoffed. “Unlikely, but some good food and a couple of margaritas will be sure to help that anxiety float away.”

“Nessa! Day drinking? I’m simply scandalized.” But once again, Vanessa was right, and after a Korean Lime Margarita and some excellent Kimchi street tacos, you were in high spirits and ready to take on whatever awaited you back at the house. Vanessa offered to give you a ride home, but you opted for the fresh air and the walk since you were about twenty minutes away. It would give you time to clear your head.

The sun was still out in full force, but a lively breeze had come about so that by the time you turned off of Main Street onto Pine Street, you felt as if you were walking on clouds. Steve had better things to do with his time than to make sure your feelings weren’t hurt. You were a grown woman and he had apologized last night. And if he had been rude today by not shooting you a text letting you know he couldn’t make it… well, it wasn’t unexpected coming from the Steve you knew.

You were so engrossed in giving yourself a pep talk that you got up to your front door, key in hand, without noticing that the door was in fact already open. Immediately the hairs went up on your neck. Something was off. Your breathing came out a little bit fast and shallow. Where was Steve? It was the first thought you could latch on to. He wouldn’t be home. Right? If somebody had broken in he would have made fast work of them. Maybe you were being silly. Should you call out for him? Should you even go inside?

You stood frozen on the doorstep, keys in hand as a makeshift weapon, until you heard noise coming from inside. It sounded like someone was sweeping up broken glass. A sigh of relief escaped your lungs when you finally stepped over the threshold and made your way past the living room and into the kitchen. There was Steve, the door to the backyard open and letting in the breeze. The first thing to catch your eye was the cabinet door hanging on one hinge. The second was all the broken glass. There was so much of it, probably from the dishes that had fallen out of the broken cabinet. Steve was sweeping it into the dustpan. The third thing you noticed was when he finally realized you were there, and he turned to you on a dime. You took in his face; it was flushed, and a nasty open gash was slowly bleeding down the left side of his face.

Time stopped for a moment as the two of you watched each other. The light coming through the west-facing kitchen window was golden, slanting in such a way that it hit Steve’s hair just right, setting it alight. At first, his expression was uncertain. Then his eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, as he realized what he had missed. He turned and threw the debris into the trash can he had dragged to the middle of the floor. His movements were slow, deliberate. You set your bag on the hook next to the open door and walked over to the sink, grabbing a cloth and wetting it down.

“What happened?” You heard him take a deep breath behind you. “Steve, sit down. Let’s take care of that cut.” It was surprising that he did as he was told, the second-hand oak chair creaking under the size of him. You moved slowly as you walked towards him, sensing that whatever had happened was a big deal; the normally-outspoken super soldier seemed at a loss for words.

When he was sitting, it gave you the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be looking down at him. He was still tall, only a few inches shorter in this position, but it was a different perspective nonetheless. The clean washcloth you had wet down felt cool in your hands. The sensation was the only thing keeping you grounded when you stopped in front of him, stepping between his knees to get a closer look at the wound. You bit your lip as you concentrated, softening the dabbing motions when Steve hissed at the contact.

“This should be healing, shouldn’t it?” Your voice was much quieter than you intended it to be. “Do we need to contact S.H.I.E.L.D?” He shook his head and closed his eyes; you had full opportunity to study his face. The beard had been a nice addition, you thought absently. His eyelashes were fanned out across his cheeks. Who had eyelashes that long? It was a bit ridiculous. His lips were pursed and quite involuntarily you wondered what it would be like to kiss them. A lock of hair had fallen into his face, and as you brushed it back, carding your fingers through the dark golden crown, his hands flew up to grasp your hips.

The motion startled you, but you were rooted to the spot. His hands were big, and the gentle motion of his thumbs made your breathing hitch. This was dangerous territory that definitely felt like it was coming out of nowhere. You weren’t equipped to deal with something like this. The heart behind your ribcage was thundering, thumping so hard you were sure it was going to give you away, betray you, and the emotions suddenly washing over you.

“I don’t need to contact them. Just a break-in that I wasn’t expecting. I chased him off. Normal life’s left me soft,” he finally gritted out in a quiet baritone. His hands were still splayed on your hips, and it took everything in you not to lean into the touch. “Guess I have to figure out some other way to say sorry.” You watched as his eyes fluttered open and a sheepish grin painted itself across his face. Was there an invitation there?

A shaky sigh escaped your mouth as you reluctantly extracted your hands from his hair and stepped back; you rolled your eyes, and just like that the old magic of the moment was broken. Still, something skipped in the air around you.

“You hardly have to worry about missing today when you were fighting an intruder, Steve. Don’t be ridiculous. Whaddya say to just whipping something up here and watching a movie? That’s my kind of apology anyway.” You dropped the cloth in the sink and turned around, crossing your arms and leaning back to look at him again. The physical distance had allowed the fog in your brain to clear just a little bit, until you saw the way he was watching you. Lazy, but focused at the same time. “What?” Your skin felt warm under his gaze.

“Nothing. You just look nice is all. Was that dress for me?” If anyone had looked at you right now, you were sure you would have looked like a deer in headlights. You weren’t sure whether to answer or not. His voice had gone all low, and now he was standing, making his way over to you with sure, slow steps. The floor creaked slightly under his weight. Oh, definitely not good. Steve reached forward once more, correcting the strap that had fallen down your shoulder. Goosebumps raced over your flesh. “I like the idea of staying here better too,” he rumbled. You pursed your lips and nodded, taking another huge breath.

“All right then. Um, I guess we should fix that cabinet door first?” Steve’s eyes searched yours for a moment before smiling and ducking his head.

“Yeah, I’ll grab the toolbox from the garage. I’ll take care of that if you can finish cleaning the mess off the counter?” Another nod.

“I’ll check the fridge too, I’m pretty sure we have all the ingredients for pizza.” You took a moment to watch his face; his eyes were distant. It took everything in you to tamp down the urge to reach out and touch him. “Steve, are you good?”

He stuck both thumbs in the air as he headed past you to the garage. Something in the set of his shoulders and the way he quickly avoided your gaze said otherwise, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. The idea that this had just been a normal break-in seemed unlikely. Even if Steve hadn’t been interacting with S.H.I.E.L.D outside of occasional check-ins, there was no way Steve would have been caught off guard by a normal human being. Still, it didn’t feel like the right time to question him about it.

The two of you made quick work of the mess. After a small disagreement on whether pineapple actually belongs on pizza, with a compromise of half with pineapple, half without, the two of you finally settled on the couch to watch the movie. It was some secret agent rom-com you’d seen a few times before, but that always fit the bill for a chill night at the house. Steve, on the other hand, had not seen it and felt obligated to point out all the flaws in the action scenes. It made you smirk and elbow him more than once. After a while, though, you began to feel the tell-tale signs of sleep, your eyes drooping and your breath slowing.

It didn’t take him very long to notice.“Wanna head to bed, sleepyhead?”

You turned to him, your gaze briefly unfocused, and poked his arm.“I wouldn’t be tired at only eight pm if I hadn’t been woken up two hours before my four am alarm,” you replied with a smirk. Despite yourself, however, a yawn escaped your mouth. “I’ll take care of the dishes, it will help me wake up enough to finish the movie. You need to take a shower or anything after fighting the big bad wolf?”

Steve crossed his arms and let out a snort. You nudged his arm again with your elbow. “All jokes aside, thanks for keeping our house safe.” He stilled next to you but finally nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re welcome. Uh, yeah, I’ll go take a shower. You sure you don’t want any help?” Again, had he always been this nice?

“You’re fine. Go on.” If you had been able to read his mind, you would have known that to hear you say “our house” lit a fire in his veins. You wandered into the kitchen, noting how every detail seemed in focus; the night sounds coming in the open window, the smells of the breeze, the way the tile felt cool under your bare feet. The air felt charged with… what? You noted the gradual switch in your brain. Just this morning, you had been able to rattle off in your head all the reasons you hated living with Steve. You had even contemplated looking for someone else to room with. And now… now, after a brief conversation and some wound care, you really couldn’t figure out why you had decided to hate him. Hate was a pretty strong word.

Two plates and some intense daydreaming later, you wandered back into the living room just as Steve came back down the hallway, adjusting his shirt over the lower half of his stomach.

You were glad the lighting was low, because you were sure he would have seen the flush creep into your cheeks at the glimpse of bare skin across his abdomen. Absolutely ridiculous. Finish the movie. Go to bed. It was very simple. Or better yet, fake a headache? Could Captain America tell when someone was lying? Would you be surprised if he could? No. You sneaked a sideways glance at him as you sat down again. He smelled fresh and like a hint of Old Spice. His hair was combed back but still wet; little water droplets clung to the ends. Without a second thought, you reached out and turned his face to look at you.

“How’s that cut,” you murmured, suddenly quiet. The wound that just hours before had looked like it would need stitches now looked like a thin pink line. Oh god, his face was so close. You could close the space easily. There, there was that look again. Steve was not one to shy away from looking someone in the eyes, and every time he had looked at you in the last twenty-four hours had left you feeling weak and heavy, but in the best sort of way. Your phone buzzed from its place on the coffee table in front of you, the name “VANESSA” emblazoned on the front. You released a breath you hadn’t released you were holding and snatched the phone up. Steve cleared his throat and sat back.

“Hey, Nessa, what’s up?” What was up was that the opener for tomorrow morning had called out, and you were the most reliable on short notice. You agreed to cover the shift and let out a groan of disappointment when she told you she was working the night shift, so you wouldn’t even get to see her. Steve guessed what had happened from the conversation he could hear on his end (actually, he could easily hear both ends of the conversation, but that point was moot) so he locked up while you were getting last minute details.

“It’s all good,” he laughed when you tried to apologize. “We can finish the movie some other time. I had fun tonight. Oh, and, uh, thanks for the medical care.” He had shoved his hands in his sweatpants pockets and was rocking back on his heels. He looked every bit like someone who was definitely planning out his next move. He looked nervous, and somehow you couldn’t wrap your brain around that.

“Was the least I could do. I’ll see ya tomorrow?” Steve ducked his head with a smile. A smile that could stop traffic. A smile that had been burned into the mind of every US citizen as the poster boy for America. But to you, it was a smile that was warm. Familiar. And somehow now a smile that was starting to whisper home.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Was there a promise there? You kept the shower water cold that night, trying to focus on something other than Steve Rogers.

[karihighman]

Witness - Upstead AU

PART 2: BECOMING YOUR FRIEND WAS A CHOICE

After the longest night of her life, Hailey just wanted to sleep. The problem? It was 6AM in the morning, and her roommate, Vanessa, was already at work. Vanessa works at the recreational center nearby Hailey’s family’s bakery. She grew up in the foster care system, and worked odd jobs to put herself through college. She has a social work degree, and plans to open her own community center. That’s where Hailey met her, was in college. Point being, Vanessa was always up before the sun, and would get home in the early evenings. Meanwhile, Hailey takes her classes during the day, and on her off days, she spends it working the afternoon and night shifts at the bakery. Her parents need a break, and honestly, she needed a break from them.

Her parents were great, helped Hailey with her tuition, and were in her life for all the major moments. But, her parents’ relationship? That was another story. Her dad was abusive towards her mom, her brothers, and herself when they were younger. The physical abuse didn’t happen anymore, but it didn’t stop her father from berating her mother, or his sons and daughter. It only happened sometimes, when he would get really plastered.

If his sports team lost, if he lost his job, you name it, it usually ended up in the same tragic way.

Hailey was drawn out of her own thoughts by the pulling back of the hospital curtain. The last thing she remembered was meeting Jay, and by that time, it was either 1 or 2 in the morning. So, at least she’d gotten a few hours of sleep. Why it was still at Chicago Med, she didn’t know. But, she assumed the redheaded doctor that entered her room could answer that question.

“Hailey Upton, good to see you awake! I’m Will Halstead, and I’ll be reviewing your discharge information with you.”

Hailey furrowed her brows. Did he just say Halstead? Or was she hallucinating? “Did you say Halstead?” She asked him.

Will’s mouth quirked into a lopsided smile. “Yes, I did. I’m assuming you met my younger brother, Jay, a few hours earlier.”

Hailey nodded, remembering the very attractive detective she had spoken to. “Yeah, I did.”

“He was the one that told me you had fallen asleep mid conversation, so we figured it was okay to let you sleep given what you’d been through.”

Hailey’s mouth dropped open a bit. She fell asleep? While talking to Jay? Well that’s just great. “Oh. Well, if you see him, could you please tell him I’m sorry about that. I had been working a full shift, and had a full day of classes the day before. I’d barely logged 4 hours the night before, so I was on “this is my fourth coffee” mode.”

Will was maneuvering around her as she offered up an apology. He shined a bright light in her eyes to check her vision, which jarred Hailey a little. She blinked to get the spots out of her eyes, but tried to listen to what he was saying as he put the blood pressure cuff on her arm.

“Hm?” She hummed as he put all his materials down.

“I just said we’re done. You just need to sign this paper, and you’ll be on your way.”

“Oh,” Hailey faltered. “Yeah, okay. Um, I’ll just need to call a cab or an Uber since my roommate’s at work already. And, well, my car is back at the bakery…” She wasn’t meaning to spill her guts to Dr. Will Halstead, she was just talking out loud.

Her head snapped up as Will snapped his fingers. “Well, I happen to know someone that’s very willing to give you a ride back home. Plus, you can apologize on the way to your apartment.”

Hailey barely mastered an “Um” when she was met with those damn green eyes again.

Jay stood next to his brother, which 1) allowed Hailey to see the resemblance between them and 2) allowed Hailey to pay attention to tiny details about him. Like the smattering of freckles across his face, or how he always kept his hands in his pockets. His eyes were kind, and his smile was soft as he gave her a small wave.

She couldn’t help but smile back. “Hey, Jay.”

“Hi Hailey,” he replied. “I figured since we didn’t get to finish our chat earlier, that I’d offer you a lift home so we could.” He shrugged his shoulders awkwardly, like he didn’t really do this often.

Neither did Hailey, but what other option did she have?

“Uh, sure, thank you. Just let me grab my stuff and we can go.”

Jay nodded, and Hailey hopped off the table she fell asleep on, and onto the ground to pick up her purse. She zipped up her jacket, and she was fine to go. She noticed on their way out of the hospital, that Jay was wearing normal clothes. Usually the police officers she saw wore navy and/or light blue uniforms. She did however, see a glimmer of a badge on his belt, only because he fished his keys out of his back pocket.

She had the dumbest thought in the world as they exited the doors and Jay pointed them to his truck. Where did he keep his gun?

She smiled to herself and ducked her head down before Jay could catch her and then ask her what she was smiling about. She ran a couple fingers over her lips before stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets as they stood in front of his black GMC truck.

“And here I thought you’d be driving one of those white patrol cars I see roaming neighborhoods,” she told him, cracking a smile so he knew she was only kidding. Somewhat, anyhow. Truth be told, he was nothing she thought a cop to be. The ones that showed up at her doorstep all those years ago….they were blunt, harsh, and intimidating. Older guys shoving her and her brothers out, others holding their parents back.

It was a lot to handle at 12 years old. Her brothers were 14 and 15 at the time, so they looked out for her. But even they couldn’t comprehend why their parents were being talked to separately, or why their mom looked like she’d been crying, and why their father looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. They’d been fine all of those nights….or so she thought. Sure, there were some screams from a loud argument, or a harsh word exchanged here or there, but she thought all adults fought at some point. People in general fought, right? War, politics, etc. People can hurt other people. It may have been a harsh reality for a twelve year old to hold onto, but, hey, she wasn’t like most girls. Never had been. Never planned on being either.

—————

Jay couldn’t help himself. On the 20 minute drive from Med to Hailey’s apartment, he’d keep checking on her out of the corner of his eye. Once or twice, both of his eyes would flutter in her direction, to which he’d offer her a general smile. He’d breathe a quiet sigh of relief when she’d return it tenfold.

She had a really pretty smile. No, he thought to himself. He’d used pretty before already. Call it detectives intuition, or maybe it was just because he’d grown up studying people and how they behaved since his own family dynamic was pretty screwy – but regardless, he knew people like Hailey had stories buried beneath the surface.

He could tell by the tension she held in her face and body. How her jaw clenched ever so slightly, or how her hands would fidget in the same patterns every couple minutes. And of course, her tell of running a hand through her hair.

Complex, would be the word he’d use to describe that behavior. Mysterious would be the term he’d use to describe the enigma that was Hailey Anne Upton (he’d peaked at Will’s chart for a second, sue him). But, her smile? Gorgeous. Yeah, that was the one.

He almost contemplated asking her about herself, so he could get to know the woman wrapped up in so many proverbial layers. But, her voice cracked through his illusion. “This is me right here.”

Jay was pulled up to the curb of a quaint apartment complex, with a few units, he assumed on either side, even though he only saw the front. The white building’s homes each had their own bright orange doors, which he found funny given the classic white paint job.

Then he noticed the orange tiled letters and numbers that made up the street address of the complex. 185 Vinton Street. They were – you guessed it – bright orange. He frowned, not out of sadness, but out of…oddness? He couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion. He was just….observing things. Like the way Hailey idled in the passenger seat for a few moments while he had gotten out.

“You alright?”

He tapped lightly on her window. She pointed down to the lock, and he could’ve – and should’ve – smacked himself silly for not unlocking it. Nice going moron. He grimaced, hoping his eyes conveyed a sheepish apology as he rectified the error. Her lips had twisted into a semi smile as she got out. She seemed to be smiling at herself, but she looked at him before looking back down to her feet.

“Um, thanks for the ride back. And I am sorry about falling asleep last night. Or should I say this morning.”

Jay leaned against his truck. “That’s okay, really. You needed some rest. Not many people see things like that. I mean, I do, but that’s because it’s my job. You’re…I mean, I don’t know much about you, but like you said – you’re a future psychologist – you’re not a cop.”

Hailey pulled her bottom lip inbetween her teeth. “Yeah, right.” She paused for a second, before asking: “Is that the last thing we talked about?”

“Um, no. No, the last thing we talked about, or should I say, I was talking to you about, was: golf. Which I found ironic that you fell asleep during the middle of the conversation, as you had just got done saying how you loved it, despite your roommate Vanessa making fun of you for it.”

Hailey shook her head as she walked to stand across from him, so she could lean her shoulder against his truck too. “Gotcha. Well, if you’d like, we can finish that conversation? I have coffee inside,” she offered, mentally smacking herself for how lame that invite was.

“Uh, sure, that is if you don’t mind. I could use some coffee right now.”

Hailey motioned for Jay to follow her up, and they entered her apartment. She thanked the lord that she was the neater between herself and Vanessa, so their apartment wasn’t a total disaster area. Vanessa’s room, however, was a completely different story. But that was partially because her boyfriend Kevin would sometimes stay over, and his stuff was left there too.

Hailey had told Vanessa she could always move in with Kevin, or find a place of her own, but she insisted that she and Hailey would be roommates until both of them had boyfriends. Hailey rolled her eyes at that ridiculous rule, but was secretly glad. She loved having Vanessa around.

“Welcome,” she said, raising her arms out as if to display the small space to him. “Um, you can sit wherever. I’ve just gotta change my clothes real quick, then I’ll put a pot on.”

Jay was admiring the photos that littered their living room area. Vanessa and Hailey had both taken photography as one of their electives, so black and white photos from a class project decorated their place.

He turned his head toward her as she spoke though. “Okay, thanks.”

Hailey quickly nodded before hurrying back to her room to throw something other than her jogging sweats and hoodie on. Sometimes she’d wear old clothes if she was going to be working in the back of the bakery, because flour + nice clothes = total mess.

She pulled on some jeans and a plain white tee shirt that she tucked in, before tossing her hair into a messy ponytail. Better, she thought to herself as she looked in the mirror.

She walked back out to see Jay camped out on her couch. The kicker? Now he was the one asleep. She literally had to bite her tongue to keep from bursting out in laughter. It was cute, seeing him all nestled up like he’d meant to do that all along or something. His elbow propped his head up a little against his hand, and the lower half of his legs were hanging off the edge. She was honestly surprised he didn’t take up the whole couch, given that he had to be at least 6 feet tall.

Vanessa’s boyfriend Kevin, after all, was like 6’4. That was pretty much all she knew about Kevin though, as she’d only seen him in passing. Thankfully, he’d been clothed, as had Vanessa, or else Hailey would’ve had to move out for sure. Vanessa had joked to her one night after Kevin dipped out that there’d be a day where Hailey would be the one sneaking a boy back to their apartment. Hailey had rolled her eyes, and told Vanessa to keep dreaming. But now, as she watched the slow rise and fall of Jay’s chest against his light grey fitted shirt and unzipped jacket, she realized she did in fact, have a boy over.

She let out a puff of air, feeling silly for just standing there like a moron. She didn’t know if she should wake him or not. She didn’t know what times cops had to be at work. All she knew was she didn’t have to be at work until noon, and it was only….she looked across the way to her microwave clock. 7AM. Cool, cool. She ran a hand through her hair again, before deciding to brew the coffee she’d promised him. Hey, even if he was asleep, didn’t mean Hailey didn’t need the coffee just as much as Jay did.

So, she bounded over to her kitchenette and put on some coffee. She leaned against the counter, pulling her phone out to check her messages.

One from Vanessa, which read: SORRY I COULDNT COME GET U THIS AM. DID U MAKE IT HOME OK??

Hailey typed a response. YES I DID, V. DONT WORRY.

She watched the three bubbles pop up on her screen. K. AND UR OKAY RIGHT?

YES :) TALK TO YOU LATER VANESSA.

She flipped her phone off before going to fix herself something to eat. Her grumbling stomach gave her hunger away. She was making eggs and bacon when she heard a mumble from her sofa. She’d honestly forgot Jay was there, he was that quiet.

“Mmm,” she thinks he “said.”

“It’s okay Jay, this time you were the one that fell asleep,” Hailey called over her shoulder. “I knew you’d wake up sometime though, so I figured you deserved some rest too.”

She was plating a portion of food for herself when she saw him emerge from the couch. He was headed for the coffee, but hey, the rest of her food wasn’t going to eat itself. “And you’re welcome to the rest of the food there,” she offered as casually as she could as she sat down.

Jay had been filling up a coffee mug when he turned his head up to look at her from across the way. “Oh, no, that’s okay, Hailey. I–“

“Seriously, Jay. I don’t mind. Besides, it’s the least I can do after falling asleep on you–“ she felt her cheeks heat up at the only semi-innocent implication that created. “–I mean, y’know, during our conversation, not to mention you taking me– giving me a ride home.”

Jay set down his cup, but he didn’t argue. He grabbed some food and made his way over to where she was sitting. They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply drinking their coffee and eating their food.

Hailey was the first one that spoke. “So, what exactly were we talking about when we were talking golf?”

“Ummm,” Jay mumbled as he finished a bite of eggs. “I think we were onto what is better: a club or a putter for a shorthand shot on the green.”

They answered simultaneously: “putter.” They smiled at each other.

“Huh, I never thought I’d meet another golf aficionado,” Hailey said as she bit into a piece of bacon.

Jay shook his head as he swallowed another bit of coffee. “Neither did I. I mean, my brother and I golfed sometimes…before he went off to med school and I joined the service. But, since then, neither of us have really had the time for it.”

Hailey pouted. “Aw, well that’s no fun. I think everyone should have something that they enjoy in their day. Like for me, it’s photography. Well, I really like still life’s. My roommate, Vanessa, she likes the live-action type of shots. But me? I like capturing a single, seemingly minute, moment of time.”

She realized she’d completely glossed over possibly the most important part of what Jay told her. Nice work, Hailey. “So, you were in the military?”

“Yep. Rangers, 75th Battalion.”

“Wow,” she mused, very impressed. She’d never known someone in the military before. Her older brother Andy almost joined the Navy, but it was only his backup plan if he didn’t make it into law school. But, when he got in to Harvard Law, he couldn’t pass it up. “That’s incredible. I, well, I mean, thank you,” her foot should’ve met her mouth a few words ago when she saw his eyebrows raise. “Thank you for your service.” She clarified, hoping her face was not as red as a tomato right now, or else she could just die of embarrassment.

Her pinky graced her cheek as she ran a hand through her hair once more. Nope, all good. Phew.

“Thanks,” he said gently. “Most people want war stories, or dangerous tales because they think it’s like it is in the movies.”

Hailey frowned. She was no movie buff, but even she knew nothing was like it was on TV or film. No way. She knew that after she watched her first princess movie. A prince would sweep the girl off her feet and away from danger. But, no one came to save her from her own hell. So, she’d given up on the whole idea of fairytales; honestly, she’d given up on the idea that life was going to give her anything. That’s why she worked damn hard to get where she was.

“Oh, no, I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like over there for you. I know what that kind of impact veterans can have when they come back from war. It’s a lot.”

Jay nodded, actually feeling thankful that someone understood that. “Exactly.”

Hailey offered him a smile, but he could tell it was tinged with sadness. Or maybe like she had something to share too.

“So, what about you? I mean, as I’m sure you guessed, I jumped from the army to the police, but what made you want to become a psychologist?”

“Um,” Hailey did her same nervous habit of running her hand through her hair. Shit, well that she wasn’t expecting. Most people liked to talk about themselves, or didn’t care to hear about psychology, of all things. Guys, Hailey, not people. She and Vanessa could talk classwork all day.

“I’ve just always been interested in helping people. And I’ve always been good at reading people, I guess. Like how they act, or interact with other people. People always think that their eyes or their lips give away what their intentions are, but actually, it’s their body language.”

Jay’s head tilted. “Is that right?”

Hailey vehemently nodded her head. “Yessir.”

Jay narrowed his eyes slightly. “Well then, Dr. Upton, what am I saying? Or what are you getting from me?” A small smirk played on his lips, and Hailey had yet another moronic thought of wanting to kiss it off of him.

She tilted her head a bit too, as her eyes studied him. One of her brows arched as she noticed his movement underneath her gaze. She clicked her tongue against her cheek.

“Well,” she began, unfolding her hands. “You’re sitting straight up, which indicates a polite demeanor. You’re holding eye contact, which means you’re not afraid of the truth. Your hands underneath your legs show that you’re carrying something, or have a lot on your mind or on your plate, as they say.” She debated on throwing him a bone with the last one. “And your feet are pointed at me while we’re talking, which means you’re genuinely interested in what I have to say.”

She could help but break into a grin when he did. “I appreciate it, by the way.”

He had opened his mouth to say something in return, when their moment was interrupted by the sound of a phone. Hailey had hers on vibrate in her pocket, so she knew it wasn’t hers, as this was an actual ring. “I think that’s you,” she said to Jay.

“Oh,” he mumbled, fumbling for it in his pocket. “Sorry. It’s work.”

She flitted her hand off, indicating that he could take the call. She busied herself by taking their plates and mugs to her sink, washing them off, and placing them on her drying rack. She’d just begun to turn around when she almost ran smack into Jay. Not that she would’ve minded…that much. She was 99.9% sure he was perfect, in every way. From the way his shirt pulled across his pecs, to the way his broad shoulders took up a doorway, but weren’t overpowering in the least.

“Uh,” she awkwardly sputtered. She really needed a new vocabulary. “Sorry,” she squeaked, not daring to look up into his green eyes. They were standing so close together that she felt his breath hit her cheek though. And that was about all she could handle right now, without her legs giving way, that is. Hell, she even held onto her counter for support. Subtly, of course.

“I, sorry. I have to go. My sergeant said we got pod footage of the guy that killed Crawford.” He was about to break apart from her, when Hailey heard a sharp intake of air. “Actually, um, we might need you down at the district.” He finally said. His voice was so smooth and low it reminded Hailey of rich milk chocolate, and she felt like she needed to sit down before she either A) kissed him or B) grabbed a giant Hershey bar from her secret stash.

“Oh, okay,” she replied stupidly. Duh, Hailey, major duh. “So I guess I’m riding yo– I mean, riding with you.”  Yep, if she could melt into a puddle on the floor, right then would’ve been the perfect time to do it.

“Looks like it,” he said as he finally put some distance between them.

Hailey oddly felt at ease with that. She just hoped she’d still feel that way once she was there.

___________________________________________________________

TAGGING: @ruzek-halstead (requested)  um, let me know somehow if anyone else wants to be tagged? i’ve never done tagging on my fics before lol. hope you like this second part. part 3 will be the last installment. but it’ll be good, don’t worry! ;) 

[cpd5021]

Unexpected - Chapter 13

Choo chooo.....angst train coming through....

         Hailey sat next to Jay in the waiting room, munching on a blueberry muffin they had grabbed from the cafeteria. They had made it through her checkup and were now awaiting to be called back for their ultrasound. Hailey, and she suspected Jay too, had felt almost giddy all morning at the thought of getting an ultrasound. It wasn’t something she had expected this soon but when the nurse checked them in for her appointment she told them they would be headed here next. Hailey finished her muffin and Jay reached out a hand to take the wrapper, standing and going to toss it in the trash before returning to sit by her with a smile. 

“You ready for this?” He asked, tone light and teasing but she could tell he felt just as nervous as she did. 

“Yep.” She replied, emphasizing the ‘P’ with a pop. “You?” She turned her head to look up at him and was met with a warm smile and that sparkle in his eyes that made her heart swell every time. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He smiled again and then leaned down to place a quick kiss on her mouth. 

“Last chance, what do you pick? Boy or girl?” Hailey grinned sheepishly when he shook his head slightly. 

“Hails, I’m pretty sure we don’t get to pick.” He replied with a chuckle. 

“I know that....” She laughed and rolled her eyes. “but if you got to?”

“Well....” Jay pondered for a moment, his teasing tone shifting slightly to a more serious one. “I know I’ll be in trouble if there’s another you running around..” He flinched when she playfully punched his arm. “But I don’t know how to have a good father and son relationship. I’d probably screw him up.” He looked down, giving her a sad smile. 

“Jay..” Hailey whispered, feeling her throat tighten with his sudden show of emotion. “No matter what it is, you are going to be the best dad...totally going to make up for both of our crappy dad situations.” She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. “You always tell me I’m going to be amazing at this. I don’t really believe you yet...but I know that you will be.” Jay reached over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze. He nodded and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it didn’t quiet reach his eyes. 

“You said you thought it was a girl anyway right?” Jay asked, trying to come off as playful but she picked up on the hopeful tone in his voice. 

“I don’t know...some days.” She shrugged. “It’s hard to explain.”

“As long as it’s happy and healthy.” Jay repeated his words from an earlier conversation and gave her another soft kiss. As they separated they heard Hailey’s name being called from across the room and they stood, hands still clasped, to make their way over to the door. 

     Inside the ultrasound room, Hailey once again stripped down and changed into a gown and then laid back on the bed with a blanket covering her lower half as instructed. The tech came back into the room then, lugging a rolling cart of equipment behind her. Once everything was in, she turned to give them both a shy smile. 

“Hi, I’m Samantha, the ultrasound tech. Are you ready?” She glanced nervously between the two of them and Hailey figured she must be new. The woman was younger than most of the medical professionals Hailey had encountered.  

“Yep...” Hailey responded, feeling pretty nervous herself. Jay sat beside her on a stool and still gently held her hand. The tech set up the equipment and Hailey and Jay watched on silently. Once everything was ready the tech instructed her to lift the gown up off of her stomach. 

“This will be a little cold.” Samantha warned her quietly, before gently shaking a bottle of gel and then squiring some onto Hailey’s exposed belly. The room remained silent as the tech began moving the wand around, seemingly knowing what she was looking for. Hailey looked up at the screen only to see what looked like different shades of gray blobs. The tech used one hand to move the wand while the other typed away on the keyboard in front of her screen. Jay’s hand never left hers and she could feel her palm start to sweat as the process continued. Samantha smiled then, having found what she was looking for. 

“Do you want to know what you’re having?” She looked down at them with a grin. 

“Yea...” Hailey nodded, voice suddenly thick and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Jay gave her hand another squeeze and she looked up at him to see a nervous yet excited smile on his face. 

“Okay..well here’s the face.” She pointed to what was surprisingly very much a face on the screen. Hailey’s tear fell freely then and she struggled to control her breathing. She was one breath away from full on sobbing at the rush of emotions coursing through her. “And here’s a hand...” The tech moved the wand, now pointing to a tiny little fist on the screen. Hailey gave a small laugh, throat thick from her tears. “And any guesses as to what this is?” The screen shifted to an unidentifiable image and Hailey squinted to try and make it out. “You’re having a boy!” The tech announced excitedly, eyes darting between their faces. Hailey laughed again, tears rolling down her face and she used her free hand to wipe them away. She glanced up at Jay who was smiling down at her but she didn’t miss the look in his eyes. He was trying to show her his excitement, to share in this moment, but something in them was off. Hailey sent him a quizzical look, trying to silently ask him what was up but his eyes shifted away from hers and she felt her heart sink slightly. The tech helped to clean the gel off her abdomen and then left as Hailey got dressed. 

“You okay?” Hailey asked quietly, pulling up her jeans.  

“Yeah.” Jay gave a curt nod and Hailey didn’t believe him. But she decided not to push him here and that they could talk in the truck. They finished up with the receptionist and made their way out of the hospital. Once in the truck, Hailey shifted her body so she could face him. Jay noticed her movements but feigned interest in fumbling with his keys in the ignition. 

“Talk to me.” She instructed, unable to get a read on him. 

“About?” He asked, dodging the matter.

“What’s wrong?” Hailey pushed, feeling more tears gather in her eyes. 

“Nothing’s wrong Hailey. Are you excited?” Jay gave her a smile she knew was fake as he tried to change the subject. 

“Yes.” She whispered, voice shaking with held back emotion. “Are you?” She challenged. 

“Of course!” He replied, feigning enthusiasm. “Do you want to grab lunch before we head into work?” He attempted to change the subject once again and this time Hailey gave up and let the conversation go, for now. 

“Sure, sounds good.” She shifted back into her seat, fastening the belt as Jay started the truck and pointed towards her favorite diner. 

*****

    They ate their meal quietly, the silence between them felt deafening to Hailey as she racked her brain, searching for the reason behind his shift in attitude. She replayed their conversation from the waiting room and Jay’s concerns about fathering a boy and she realized that was probably the issue here. 

“Jay...” She started carefully, not wanting to push him to hard in public. “You’re going to be great.” He nodded at her words but otherwise didn’t respond. Hailey picked at the rest of her fries as Jay paid the bill and then they were back in the truck, headed to work.  “Jay?” She tried again, her eyes drilling into the side of his face as he drove. 

“Yeah?” He asked, still avoiding looking at her.

“You’re going to be great, you know that right?” She repeated herself, watching him nod again. 

“Yea, it’ll be great.” He replied, his voice monotone and void of any emotion. They arrived in the lot and before Hailey could continue their conversation, Jay was out of the truck and headed inside. Hailey sighed loudly, struggling to control her emotions, before she got out to follow him. He was already firmly planted at his desk by the time she made it up the stairs. The rest of the team sat at their respective desks, typing away at their computers. Vanessa gave Hailey a smile when she walked in and Hailey tried her best to return it. She must not have been very convincing because Vanessa stood and followed her quickly into the break room. 

“Hey, you good?” Vanessa asked, quietly shutting the door behind them. 

“Yea, great.” Hailey lied, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“How was the appointment?” Vanessa pushed, knowing something was wrong.

“Good. Got an ultrasound...” Hailey trailed off, picking at the wrapper on her bottle. 

“Ah! Did you find out what you’re having?” Vanessa’s enthusiasm brought a genuine smile to Halley's face. 

“Yep. It’s a boy.” Hailey announced softly. Before she could look up, Vanessa had closed the gap between them and pulled her into a tight embrace. 

“Congrats! That’s awesome!!” Vanessa pulled away, still holding her by the shoulders and took in her face. “But something’s wrong.” It wasn’t a question, rather a statement. She had gotten to know Hailey well enough to read her and know there was something underneath the surface. 

“No...yea...I don’t know.” Hailey mumbled, head dipping down to hide her face. “Jay’s reaction...it was just off. I think he’s kinda disappointed it’s a boy or something.” 

“What? That’s crazy. He’s gonna love this little guy so much! You guys are going to be awesome parents!” Vanessa pulled her into another hug before stepping back. 

“Yea...” Hailey nodded, giving her a sad smirk. 

******

    The rest of their day was uneventful and now Jay walked beside her as they headed back out to his truck. Vanessa had told her she was going out tonight so Hailey had asked Jay to come over to her house. They grabbed some pizza on the way and then settled in on her couch to enjoy some crappy TV. After they finished eating, Jay sat quietly scrolling through his phone. He had said maybe ten words to her since this morning and that included their discussion over what to get for dinner. Hailey couldn’t stand the silence anymore, her emotions swaying between hurt and now anger. 

“So...are you just not going to talk to me?” She started, fighting to keep her voice level. 

“I am talking to you.” He countered, a confused look on his face. 

“Jay...” Hailey shook her head, anger and hurt battling across her face. “You know what I mean.”

“I’m fine Hailey.” His tone was defensive as he tried to shut her out. 

“Well I’m not!” She yelled, emotions boiling over. “I saw the look in your eyes at the appointment and I’m not stupid Jay! You’ve been avoiding me all day!” Her eyes burned with unshed tears and she watched him set his phone down with a sigh. 

“It’s nothing. Just let it go...” Jay’s eyes roamed around the room, avoiding looking at her. 

“No.” She replied, voice low again. “This is something we need to talk about. I’m not going to tip toe around you Jay. Something is up and I deserve to know what.” She crossed her arms, waiting for his reply. 

“It’s nothing Hailey.” He replied again, tone harsher this time. 

“Is it your dad? Are you worried about that?” Hailey brought up their discussion in the waiting room, knowing that was probably the issue and feeling hurt he wouldn’t talk to her about it. 

“Leave him out of this.” Jay’s eyes met hers finally and they were cold. Hailey’s head jerked back when she took him in, feeling tears gather again. He had only looked at her like that one other time, when they were arguing about Jay coming along on a case and he threw her ‘daddy/daughter’ issues in her face. It had hurt then and it hurt even more now. 

“Then tell me what’s wrong Jay.” Hailey all but whispered, losing steam in this conversation as his glare wore her down. 

“There’s nothing wrong.” He replied, angrily accentuating each word. 

“Fine.” Hailey pursed her lips, standing from the couch and storming towards her bedroom. She slammed the door behind her, signaling to him that he wasn’t welcome to come in and then collapsed onto her bed. She pulled her pillow close as tears turned into sobs and she cried herself to sleep. 

******

“Hailey.” A voice sounded from somewhere in the room and she felt someone give her shoulder a soft shake. “Hailey...” The voice, belonging to Vanessa, said again. Hailey stirred awake, eyes squinting as she took in her roommate standing above her. 

“Hey..” She said groggily, confusion evident on her face. 

“Sorry to wake you. I didn’t hear your alarm go off though and it’s almost time to go to work.” Vanessa gave her a sheepish look as Hailey sighed. 

“Okay, thanks. I’ll be down in a minute.” She moved to sit on the edge of her bed, rubbing her eyes as Vanessa left. Hailey glanced down at the bed beside her, sighing when she saw it was empty. Flashbacks from last night played through her mind and she took a breath to keep control of her emotions. Hailey glanced at her phone, free of any missed calls or texts, another blow to her mood, and saw that she had about ten minutes to get ready. She stood and moved to her closet, grabbing a flannel and some jeans. Once dressed, she pulled her hair into a loose ponytail and then headed downstairs to meet Vanessa. Her roommate sat perched on the kitchen counter, cup of coffee in one hand and phone in the other. She nodded to an extra mug sitting on the counter beside a banana and a granola bar. Hailey grabbed the food, thanking her, and then they headed out the door. Vanessa’s chatter filled the drive and provided a much needed distraction for Hailey’s mood. But her limited good mood vanished as soon as they pulled into the lot and Hailey noticed Jay’s truck was missing. Vanessa noticed too and sent her a confused look. 

“Jay take the day off?” She asked, gathering her belongings so they could get out.

“I guess so...” Hailey replied, eyes still stuck on his empty spot. 

   They made their way upstairs and Hailey sat at her desk, staring at Jay’s empty desk. She reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone which was still free of any messages. She debated sending him a text but decided to give him some time. Hailey set about her day, finding her mundane tasks suddenly annoying as they didn’t provide any distraction to her racing thoughts. After a few hours, Hailey couldn’t take it anymore. She took out her phone again, quickly bringing up their texts. 

“What’s up?” She sent, figuring that was a general enough question. She waited twenty minutes and when she didn’t get a response she brought her phone back out. This time bringing up Will’s contact info. She had only ever text him on a work related basis but Jay being MIA was driving her insane enough to reach out. With a shaky breath she typed out her message. 

Hey, sorry to bug you...but have you heard from Jay?  

In an instant, her phone dinged with a reply. She hastily opened it to see Will’s response. 

No worries! Yeah, he said he was going for a drive. I figured you were with him. Everything okay?

Hailey debated her reply before she typed it out. At least he had let someone know where he was going, but the fact that it wasn’t her stung more than she’d like to admit. 

All good, just hadn’t heard from him in a while :)

She set her phone on the table in front of her and let out a few deep breaths. Hailey rubbed her eyes, feeling moisture gather there as different thoughts ran through her head. Hailey knew she wasn’t the best at letting people in or talking about her emotions, but over the years it had become easy to let go with Jay. She had assumed it was the same way for him but after the last day she was starting to think otherwise. She blinked away tears as hurt and anger bubbled up inside her once again. She was lost in thought and didn’t hear the storage room door open, so she jumped when Platt walked in and loudly set a box on the table. The Sargent looked like she was going to make a snippy comment about getting back to work, but she took one look at Hailey’s tear streaked face and her body language shifted completely. 

“Hey kiddo, you alright?” Trudy grabbed a chair from the wall and moved to sit beside Hailey. 

“Yea...” Hailey breathed out her reply, blinking away more tears. 

“Hey..” Trudy reached a hand out and placed it over Hailey’s resting on the table. The rare show of compassion from her normally rigid desk Sargent was enough to make Hailey’s emotions spill over. Before she could stop herself, the tears were pouring rapidly down her face and she used her free hand to cover her eyes. 

“Those preggo hormones will get ya every time.” Trudy joked halfheartedly, scooting over and pulling Hailey into a sideways embrace. Hailey struggled to gain control of herself as she let Platt console her. 

“Sorry...” Hailey finally mumbled when the tears slowed. 

“No problem kiddo. What’s up?” Trudy asked, looking genuinely concerned. 

“It’s just...Jay...I don’t know.” Hailey shrugged, not wanting to give away to much of Jay’s personal life. 

“Boys are the shits sometimes.” Trudy stated matter of factly, earning a small chuckle from Hailey. 

“Yea.” Hailey nodded, stilling smiling from Trudy’s words. 

“Well, if you need someone to kick his ass...I’m your girl.” Trudy puffed her chest slightly, looking more than willing to inflict some pain. “But honestly, he’s a good guy. Stubborn as hell....but so are you. Just give him some time and then don’t give him the option but to talk.” Trudy winked at her and Hailey felt herself not really surprised that her Sargent was able to pick up on what was going on. Hailey nodded towards Trudy, giving her a small smile. Trudy stood and returned her smile before walking out and leaving Hailey alone once again. Hailey sighed and resigned herself to getting through the rest of the day before she would attempt to confront Jay tonight. 

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[moonlightreal]

Fate Episode One

At long last, it’s tiiiiiime!

First: whitewashing bad.  Fact acknowledged.  Everybody else has said everything on the subject (ad nauseum...) so no reason to say it all again!

I’m diving in with questions.  The main one is “Will there be a good reason for Musa to be a mind fairy rather than a music fairy?” Dunno why that’s what I’m wondering the most, but it is.  There’s also “Is Fate!Stella truly an unholy union of Stella and Diaspro?” and “so what makes them fairies not witches/psychics/mutants?” and “So what’s up with Beatrix?  We know nothing about her, and as an Umineko fan I’m favorably disposed towards witches named Beatrice!” and also “They’re not really having sex are they?!”

I’m going to try and approach Fate just like I do every season of the cartoon, ready to celebrate the good, snark at the bad, enjoy many headcanons, reference random stuff, and have a good time.  Pretending I haven’t had my fannish heart nigh to broken by the state of the fandom and that I’m worried I’ll get hate for even posting this.  I’m’a try to start from zero to find my own answer the really big question… “Good, bad, or totally irredeemable?”

So… In which we discover a new world.

We start with… a night scene.  Not promising when “too dark can’t see” is one of my pet peeves!  An old fella comes out to check on his cute Irish sheep.  He passes through the barrier, into the dangerous forest beyond to look for a missing sheep.  Yup, he’s gonna be guest victim in the first five minutes.

Oh no!  Something has disemboweled a sheep and left it hanging in a tree!  Clearly there are leopards in the magical realm!

There is a great roar and an unseen but very large-sounding beast chases our poor shepherd!  The guy trips and falls just as he’s about to get through the barrier and is set upon and devoured by the unseen beast!  Blood spatters the rocks!

Opening! It’s the wings we’ve sen and some really beautiful music.  One point for the music.

Then a gorgeous flying shot of the outside of the barrier and Alfea. Whatever the plot turns out to be, the outdoor setting is beautiful. Music that seems to be both pop and edgy plays as we zoom in on the logo on the gate, and there’s Bloom coming in the gate.

And there’s Terra with her father and a tray full of plants.

And there’s Aisha walking by with her dreads

And there’s Stella taking a selfie with other students.

And there’s Musa leaning on her suitcase, headphones on, looking at her phone.  Another girl says something to Musa and she turns and replies and smiles.

And there’s one of the guys twirling a knife.  I’ve heard Sky starts out in a pink shirt so this must be Riven.  The camera comes back to Bloom as she gives him a doubtful look.  In the novelization she’s mentally labeling him an edgelord, and that kinda fits.  Any dude showing off his willingness to twirl weapons at a high school probably is best avoided—except the dudes here are training to fight so the weapons rules must be different.  I wonder if Bloom knows yet that dudes with swords are normal here.

Bloom gets a text to meet Stella at the gate.  She waits.

Camera pan to Sky talking to another guy.  Sky looks… Sky-ish.  Chris Evans style handsome, blond.  I’d’ve made him grow his hair to mimic cartoon Sky’s silly shaggy haircut, but points for making Sky look like Sky!  Minus points for not dying Riven maroon.  They could’ve made it work!

Sky is indeed wearing a pink shirt.  In the novelization Bloom thinks he’s wearing it “because gender roles were for the weak” which is a line I think is funny and intend to use in a story somewhere. There is no obvious hint in the show that Sky thinks gender roles are for the weak

Bloom’s tired of waiting.  She heads off.  Sky ditches his buddy to go meet her.  “Wow, you are so lost.  I’m impressed with your confidence in the face of complete ignorance.  Issue is, you’re overcomitted. You’re essentially running.  And now that I’m here you can’t possibly give me the satisfaction of turning around.”  he says, all in one go.  

I can’t decide if that’s jerkish or charming.  Maybe Bloom shares my weakness for men with accents because she decides on charming.

Bloom says she’s a fairy, giggles because that’s something she never thought she’d say, they’re standing in the courtyard of a college for fairies, Bloom’s from California, not the Otherworld.  So we get all that established.  Sky is kinda charming here and points out the specialists’ hall and fairy hall.

Sky: “I’d be happy to-”

Bloom: “Mansplain it?”  

So the writing team does know some modern issues!  Bloom says Sky seems like a mansplainer, which seems like quite a leap since she is new and he is helping her, in a friendly-sarcastic kind of way.  She’s giggling, clearly charmed.

Then Riven comes up, and he’s like a foot shorter than Sky, and Bloom escapes for some reason so maybe she wasn’t enjoying the conversation as much as it looked? Or maybe it was just the plot needs to move along.  Riven glomp-hugs Sky.  He’s got a great accent too.

Bloom must’ve left because she saw Stella, they say hello.  Bloom says she got impatient waiting and Stella says, “How very American of you”  So American stereotypes are known in magical worlds also?    

So, Stella!  Blonde, tall, zero Stella vibe.  Accent. Long pale coat and a satiny top with big chunky pendant.  She gets to her ring quick, “Portal ring, the only thing that keeps me sane in this place is the ability to leave it.  Your world may not always be thrilling but it beats this one.  There are seven realms in the Otherworld, each a different kind of boring.”  All spoken in a jaded monotone.  Ugh, what have they done to our Stella!

The girls walk inside while Stella speaks, the school is pale stone and arches and plants.  Other students are arriving, hauling suitcases, hugging.  At least some of them seem happy to be here!

Cut to the globe!  and it’s a magical globe, the water moves and there are lil sailing ships!  But the lands are totally blank, so it’s a cheap magic globe Dowling didn’t pay enough for the one with tiny forests too.  Alfea is in the realm of Solaria.

Maybe they shouldn’t have made Ireland = Solaria.  I’ve only been to England but we did not see the sun the whole trip!  Bloom’s in Dowling’s really cool office.  She spins the globe but the camera pans away before we see the names of the other realms.  Bloom’s talking nervously about seeing people updating their insta stories, expecting Tinkerbells, and the lack of wings.

Dowling: “We had wings in the past.  As we’ve evolved, transformation magic has been lost.  Tink was an air fairy, you’re a fire fairy.”

Dowling says classes tomorrow, learn to use magic slowly but safely… we establish Bloom is here to learn to control her magic so she can go home and not keen on ‘slow.’  Dowling says, ‘trust the process’ which immediately makes me mistrust her.

Then she gives a great lil speech: “Alfea’s graduates have ruled realms and led armies.  They have forged powerful relics and rediscovered long lost relics.  They shape the otherworld.”

But Bloom just wants to get done and go home.  She says, ‘I'm here because you promised you’d teach me control.” and Dowling says, ‘no, you’re here because you knew you have no other choice.” and Bloom looks betrayed.

Yeah Dowling’s sus.  

Next scene: Bloom showing her dorm to her parents over video call!  How does that work between dimensions?  Her folks look nothing like Mika and Vanessa, dad’s got a beard and silver temples, mom’s got big blonde curls.  Neither of them have burn injuries or the sort of freaked out vibe I’d expect from folks whose house was just on fire.

Roommate pan-around!  Terra puts potted plants everywhere!  Stella preens at the vanity! Musa headphones-and-laptop but smiles at Terra.  Aisha comes in with her laundry bag.

Bloom’s parents get suspicious about the timezone thing, they think Bloom’s in the Alps, and Aisha comes and covers for her saying it’s time for lights out.

Aisha intro!  She is wearing a pink and brown checkered dress that’s not super fashionable or flattering.  I like her blue braids though. Aisha does not seem to have the accent that many Alfeans have.

Bloom explains the “human parents, fairy daughter, I must be a throwback to an ancestor” thing.  Aisha looks dubious.  Then they mention Harry Potter!

Bloom; ‘Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin.’

Aisha; ‘Explains the lies then.  Gryffindor.’

Bloom: ‘Explains the judgment.’

Congrats, you both were jerks in three short lines. 9_9  But they’re smiling so I guess it’s friendly sniping.  

Bloom goes to see Stella, who’s holding up sparkly tops to herself. She’s also got this weird rainbow skirt that looks like gymnastics clothes not real clothes.  Stella’s changing for the party because people have already seen her in her clothes.  Bloom asks confused, ‘People expect you to wear multiple outfits?’ and Stella comes back with, ‘people expect me to care how I look.” In the same jaded monotone.

Before Bloom can WTF outta there like a sensible person Stella snaps her fingers and creates a ball of light.  Bloom gapes, but not nearly as much as I feel like she should.  The magic is beautiful, it’s all rainbowy and sparkly.  Bloom just hesitantly asks, ‘Can I ask, how exactly you..?” and Stella shuts her down with an almost kind, “I’m a mentor, not a tutor.”

But she does give a little infodump.  “Fairy magic is tied to emotion. God thoughts, bad, hatred, fear, the stronger the emotion the stronger the magic.”

And Bloom says, ‘Do you hate me or fear me?  You were looking at me when you did that.  And I’m pretty sure you don’t love me.” Smart cookie, Bloom!  Points to you!  We know it’s because Bloom was talking to sky, and that gives Stellla some emotions.

And points to Stella, she thaws out her voice and talks like a real person, ‘I don’t know you.  I’m sure once I do I’ll find something to love.”  She sounds rather doubtful about the last bit but yay actual emotion!

Then Stella goes over to Terra for her intro scene and I cringe because the novelization did Terra dirty and I’m not keen to see it on screen.  But it works ok.  Stella gently calls Terra on the number of houseplants and says the secret garden was better kept secret, Terra responds that wasn’t really the message of the book, Stella looks at her with amused patience and leaves Musa and Terra to continue the scene.  And I decide if there’s no infodump about how earth and the Otherworld relate to each other in this show I shall be cross.

Then Terra chatters on about her family and how she grew up at Alfea since her dad works here (she’s holding a 100% fake plant) and drops that Stella is a second year.  Musa asks why a second-year is in a first-year suite and Terra says it’s some administrative thing probably best not to mention.  But Terra totally knows the secret.

Musa’s eyes glow purple.  Magic!  But we don’t hear what she hears.  She starts putting her headphones on.  Terra goes on to say they should all not mention it to Stella, then interrupts another headphones-attempt to offer Musa a succulent, “They’re low maintainence, perfect for you, not that I really know you...’

Musa: ‘If I take it will you stop talking?”

Terra visibly deflates and Musa apologizes and grabs the succulent before finally getting to escape into music.

Aisha leans in to ask Terra if Alfea has a pool.  It has a river and Aisha’s been swimming—twice a day every day!  Terra says no pool, just the pond where the specialists train but nobody swims there, at least not on purpose.

And we immediately cut out to the pond, which looks pretty mucky, I wouldn’t want to swim there either!  Two specialists, a boy and a girl, are whacking away at each other with wooden swords on the shore.  They’re all dressed in black pants and tank tops, very Divergent movie poster except with the Alfea logo on the front. There’s a bunch of specialists training all around the pond and one does indeed knock their opponent in with a splash!  But we home in on Sky and Riven and I cannot get over how short and skinny Riven is compared to Sky!  And the fact that I’ve just been rewatching Lord of the Rings and Riven doesn’t look 100% not like Dominic Monaghan… sorry Riven’s actor, I’m sure in future episodes I’ll stop thinking you’re a hobbit!

Anyway, Riven’s teasing Sky about his crush on Bloom, says Sky always goes for the crazy ones and all redheads are crazy.  Sky puts Riven on the mat and Riven says he was getting high all summer and not practicing. Before Sky can give him a “big brother speech” on that riven skedaddled because here comes the teacher with a different speech!

This show’s Codatorta, whose name is Silva and who looks very irish and I like him, does a little speech about how y’all gotta train, singles out a black guy I think is Dane and says, ‘even you will be able to fight like him.” and attacks Sky, who fights back.  They spar for a minute.

Infodump: “Sky’s father was Andreas of Eraklyon, that makes him a legacy.” Also, some of these kids are from families of specialists and some were selected by Silva based on their talent for combat and weaponry. “This place will seem like hell until actual hell comes.  We are the first line of defense, a certainty when the future is uncertain!’

Then Dane snickers about the whole ‘school full of kids with swords’ and Silva says it must be nice to be so ‘soft’ he can make fun. And Dane drops that the barrier exists ‘to protect the school from Burned Ones.”

As he says it, we cut to Sky going out through the barrier to smoke.  

Burned ones are gone.  But Silva saw one when he was a kid.  His father shot it but was killed by the Burned One’s poison.  Burned Ones are inhumanly strong and fast, and have a terrible poison, or disease that kills people who get away.

Sky looks over and sees the shepherd’s body.  Yikes!

Cut to the staff arriving to look at the remains.  Just three: Dowling, Codatorta, and Terra’s dad.  Is that the whole staff?  Who teaches? Could’ve been a wolf or a bear… Terra’s dad collects some gunk from the body and I think calls it “char residue.”

Dowling says, “She killed all the Burned Ones.”

She? This world’s Marion/Daphne, likely.

But the adults clean it up so the kids can party!  Our girls are gathered around the food, and they’re better dressed!  Aisha’s got her hair up and a blue hoodie, Musa’s got a little red coat.  Terra has not been blessed by the fashion fairy, she’s in some overalls it looks like, not flattering.  Terra is saying hopefully that maybe the shepherd died of old age and Musa’s ‘Yeah, that old age decapitation” is gentle ribbing not cruel.  

Aisha’s loading up a stack of cookies, says how much she eats and, ‘If I didn’t swim I’d be massive.” it’s not aimed at Terra , but Terra flinches.  Aisha heads off and Terra says something that boils down to, ‘Musa, you’re tuning out me in particular.” which, Terra you’ve known Musa for what, six hours?  Way too short a time to take it personal.  Musa says, ‘It’s a me thing, it’s not you.” and Terra just flusters and heads away.  Musa looks troubled but not sure what to do and puts her headphones on.

This is SO much better than in the book.  Not perfect, all the interactions between the girls have been very weird as if they’ve been given a script full of cruel catty lines and instructed to say them in a kind way, but at least they’ve tried for the vibe of “trying to be nice to people we don’t know yet and flubbing it” rather than “we are all terrible people” like I feared.

Terra meets her dad and tries to go to the greenhouse with him but he makes her stay to enjoy the party.

Cut to some grownup dude—Dowling’s secretary? Apparently searching for something in a desk that I presume is outside the headmistress’ office.

Beatrix… or possibly a gothed-up Bloom… comes to see Dowling and when told the headmistress isn’t in says, ‘I’ll just take a water, room temp, thanks love.’ and then when the door opens Beatrix greets Dowling with a simpering ‘I'm your biggest fan, I’m obsessed with Alfea...” and cascading apologies for swearing, with more swearing. Dowling and her secretary are as confused by this as I am but Dowling says Beatrix can study the history of Alfea in the library if she wants to.  I assume this is evil Beatrix slyly getting permission to hit the books.  Is Beatrix even a student at Alfea?

Cut to Bloom’s notebook, she’s already started taking notes about powers being linked to emotions, love hate and fear.  Great initiative Bloom, but are there no textbooks you could be reading ahead in?  

We get dumped back to a flashback: Bloom’s mom wants her to go out on a Saturday night, to a party or a movie or whatever teen thing.  All Bloom wants to do is go to antique sales apparently.  Bloom doesn’t want to be a “basic bitch” like her mom and her mom doesn’t want her daughter to be a “weird loner.”

Pause while I urban dictionary “basic bitch.”  Huh.  Not a term I ever heard in my circle of nerds.  

Bloom and her mom are awful to each other.  Back in the present Bloom’s eyes flame up as she remembers.  She decides it’s time to go experiment!  Right now!  Before even one day of magic class or one page of a textbook!  The idiot ball has entered play.

Night has fallen because of course it has.  Bloom runs into Sky at the party.  But she’s not looking to party, she’s looking for a place to be alone outside.  Sky directs her to beyond the barrier, because we’re about to have Plot.  If it weren’t for Plot I‘m sure Sky could’ve suggested a specialist workout area inside the barrier. Sky says there might be wolves or bears or “maybe something much scarier” and Bloom catches the idiot ball and says, ‘But no people?  Perfect!”

Sky offers to go with her but Bloom says no thanks in a “I think you may be flirting and I may be down for that in the future just not right now.” kind of a way.  Good character interaction!  Except Stella grabs Sky for a chat once Bloom heads out to meet the Plot.

Sky and Stella have an opaque exchange that really just establishes they have a past of some sort that everyone knows about because everyone stares—or at least Stella thinks everyone is staring.  I’m starting to feel weirdly sorry for this Stella who has none of her namesake’s sparkle and confidence.  Why does she think all the realms are boring?  Is she ever enthusiastic?

...wait, it’s still day!  Why was it night inside??  This show is weird about lighting.  Gosh Ireland is beautiful!  Where’s this castle they got to be Alfea?  Can I go there?  This FOREST!  It is a fully magical forest.  Aisha is swimming in the river, with goggles and a cap but Bloom heads into the amazing forest.  Good music here too!  Forests and magic and music, come on Fate you CAN be a good show, I believe in you!  Just put down the idiot ball and step away...  Bloom goes through the barrier and outside it sees a swirl of orange and white sparkles in the air.  She watches it and laughs and then hikes through a little more forest.

Finding a clearing Bloom calls her fire.  At first she can’t, then she looks through the pictures on her phone looking for emotion. “Pictures of my sad teenage years are not happy thoughts.  Noted.” She says with an angsty little smile.  Then there’s a photo of the burned out house.  She zooms in and stares at it taking in all the details.  And we get flashbacks to the line of fire racing towards her parents’ bed.

Fire! Bloom turns her handful of fire this way and that, delighted, then tries for two hands.  This is the scene from the trailer, playing with fire.  Good music here.  And good that Bloom thought the magic was neat… uuuuntil she realizes she doesn’t know how to put it out.  She freaks out and waves her hands around trying to blow out the flames.

Aisha comes to the rescue and says dumb things like, “You’re losing control.” and “If you get angry at me...” and Bloom does get angry and throws lines of fire right at Aisha.  Who looks terrified. Sensibly, but also has she never seen fire magic before?  She grew up in a magic realm, does she know nothing about how to help someone get control?  Is control taught to magical babies so teenagers rarely see someone wigging out?  But if magic is emotion then everyone will lose control sometime since we all get upset.  How does an emotion=magic society function?

Anyway. aisha pulls water up from the ground and puts out the flames.

Inside Aisha gives Bloom what for about losing control.  Including, “Is that American for sorry I almost set you on fire?”  Srsly, this show is Irish people and Italians stealth throwing shade at Americans!  *Laughs in January 2021* Bloom retorts that she went away from people to experiment for just that reason, and tells Aisha about not having had fairy parents or any magical experience.

Aisha responds with the story of flooding her school including the toilets and having to wade through poo.  (I also tend to call it poo, after watching Mike Rowe.  I wonder if they watch Dirty Jobs in the Otherworld.)

And Bloom tells her story.  Bloom isn’t a cheerleader, she likes antiques and staying home by herself, so she and her mom don’t get along.  Her parents removed her door, which is awful!  And Bloom got flamey eyes and sent fire straight at her parents while they slept. While Bloom sat on her bed in a rage trance.  Understandable level of fury after that fight.  And Bloom feels awful, also understandable. And she snuck out to sleep in a creepy warehouse to protect her parents.  Her folks didn’t know it was her of course, they don’t know about magic.

Aisha says that beats her flood story, but Aisha is also wondering about something.  “You drew on a good deal of magic without even trying. it’s hard to believe you’re from a dormant bloodline.  Is there any chance you’re adopted?”

Bloom laughs.  Then says she heard the story of her birth a million times, she was a miracle baby diagnosed with a heart defect but then after birth her heart was fine.

Aisha: “Oh god, you’re a changeling!” … ‘It’s barbaric and it barely ever happens anymore….”

Bloom has had enough and just says, “why would you even tell me that?” and leaves.  Musa comes over and asks Aisha what she said.  Aisha: “The truth.  Because someone’s been lying to her.”

Cut to Dowling, lookin’ sus!

This changeling thing had better be fully explained later.  Why was it done in the past?  Why is it considered barbaric?  What happened to the parents’ real kid?  I assume she died of the heart condition, but that’s a bigole dangling bit of Plot.  In the unlikely event that Fate goes for many seasons that baby will turn up with magic too or as a specialist or something. 

Dowling pours tea.  Then she telekinetically locks her office door and opens a secret passage!  Dowling is sus.

Back at the party, where it again seems to be night.  Dane is leaning on a column hangin out when here comes Riven with a flask!  He offers, Dane says no thanks, Riven says, ‘There are two types of first-years: pussies and aspiring former pussies.” and pours the entire flask’s worth of booze into Dane’s cup anyway.

Dane says something about, “It feels like less a binary choice and more like a spectrum.”  And points for the actor delivering this line like it’s a sarcastic comment on social juscice-ness rather than the large sign saying “Dane is not straight!’ that the writers intended.  Dane drinks, makes a face, and Riven bullies him into drinking the rest, tipping the glass so Dane chokes.

Terra rides to the rescue, “Bullying the first-years?  Can you be more basic?” and Riven says Dane was into it which he wasn’t.

Terra: “Thinks he’s some badass but you should’ve seen him last year he was just a tragic nerd in disguise.”

Riven: “And she’s just three people in disguise.”

Dane does call Riven out on that bit of nastiness but Terra just does a great lil speech and strangles Riven with vines.  Thought I’d hate that but I kinda liked it.  Go Terra.  Then she introduces herself to Dane, says that wasn’t a great first impression but Dane says he’s about to make an impression by throwing up after a single drink, and Terra hurries him away presumably to the nurse.  

Bloom google-imaged changelings!  Lotsa woodcuts, someone’s fanart entitled “horror of fairy babies.’  There’s more nuance to it than that…  Bloom looks at a family photograph.

There’s Stella, coming to be sympathetic?  Nope, she’s coming to conivingly advance the plot!  “You know there’s no shame in that, wanting a normal life, wanting to be home...”

When the girls get back Bloom is nowhere to be found.  Musa mind-reads that Stella is wracked with guilt,  They put it together, Bloom was talking to Sky and now she’s gone.  Apparently Stella did something nasty to the last girl who talked to Sky.  Terra is kinda straight up badass.  Stella confesses, she kindly loaned Bloom the portal ring so she could go back to “the first world” but to use it Bloom has to go deep into the forest outside the barrier to a door in a graveyard.

Portal’s super low special effects, Bloom pushes open a door in a cemetary, the ring glows, and Bloom walks into what must be the warehouse she hid out in.

It’s very dark inside both buildings but away from the cemetary it seems to still be day so we can see a Burned One’s shadow coming towards the portal.  Day and night seem to depend on location in this show, and anywhere you need a monster it’s gonna be dark!  Bloom seems to leave the magic portal open and we see her step out on the warehouse into a weirdly well-lit night on earth.

Real actual nighttime on earth.  Bloom walks to her parents’ house and calls them from outside.  Her dad’s surprised she called twice in one day.  This call her folks seem just worried and nice, not awful like they were in the flashback.  Bloom cries.  She can’t ask her parents about the changeling thing.  Her mom says very kind, ‘Your path isn’t like mine or your father’s but I can’t wait to see who you become.”  Bloom hangs up and cries and watches her parents in their house, then walks back to the warehouse to return to Alfea.

But first we get to see where she was camping!  In a little office in the warehouse. She brought a lot of stuff, bedding and pictures for the walls and everything.  She opens a notebook and we see that she was experimenting already, discovered she was fireproof, wondered if she had superpowers.  Then she senses something and looks out through an interior window into the rest of the warehouse.

Yikes! it’s a Burned One!

Bloom staggers back, trips, and drops Stella’s ring down a grate in the floor.

Bloom’s never heard of Burned Ones at this point but she knows a monster when she sees one.  She cowers, back to the wall. The Burned One breaks through the window and tries to grab her!

Bloom escapes into some kind of tunnel, I guess she opened the grate that the ring fell through?  It’s not totally clear.  There’s the ring, on the other side of a different grate or screen, Bloom can’t reach it, there’s lots of roaring, Bloom runs like hell!

And there’s Dowling!  She says, ‘don’t stop now.’ and gestures Bloom through the door back to the cemetery.  The door closes behind her.  Terra, Musa and Aisha are waiting to make sure Bloom’s ok. Bloom says the Burned One got the ring.

Stella, meanwhile, is on Sky’s bed when he comes out of the shower! Dressed, at least.

Sky is not interested.  “You can’t be here, Stell.  If Silva finds out-’   Sky goes for his trousers but Stella comes over and snuggles up to his bare back.  Sky is still not keen.  Seems Stella dumped him then went silent all summer and now she’s jumping in since he talked to Bloom.  Stella… comes out and says, “I got jealous. I did something really stupid.”  and she says, “I can’t sleep in a room where everybody hates me.”   For sending Bloom into danger to get home when that’s what Bloom wanted?  Not great, Stella, but hateworthy?  Did the girls all tell her they hate her or does Stella just think she’s an awful person?  And is Stella actually desperately unhappy or is she just trying to get in Sky’s pants?  Not sure what to take away from this.  Sky hugs Stella and tells her she’s better than she thinks she is.  

The others get back to the dorm and Aisha reassures Bloom that Dowling can take care of the Burned One.

Cut to Beatrix leaving her raid on the library with armfuls of books. She passed Riven, who’s smoking.  They say flirty things and Beatrix says she’s been “snorting the midnight adderall” to show that she’s a bad girl.  Riven offers her a puff but her hands are full of books so they do this almost-kiss so Riven can blow smoke into her mouth.  Erotic, also gross.  Is that a real thing people do? Riven asks Beatrix if she’s a first-year and she says “I’m lots of things” and walks off leaving Riven and the room he’s in, which has the most gorgeous arched windows with trees in them.  Is this place real?  It’s the same place the party was but now it’s night and these windows are glowing green with tree outlines in them. This has gotta be something the filmmakers added.

Pajama scene in the girls’ suite, Terra waters plants, Musa hops in bed with headphones on.  Terra does a needy little wave.  Musa reluctantly un-headphones.  Terra offers a speaker she borrowed from her brother so Musa can have her music without shutting other people out.

And I cringe so hard because just let people tune you out if they want! Communicate by whiteboard!  People not wanting to share doesn’t mean they hate you, it means they have their own thoughts they’re busy with!  Come on Terra, be better than your novelization self!

Musa calls Terra out on her fake-happy bullshit.  Musa can feel all of Terra’s insecurities and anger.  Seems like maybe empaths shouldn’t have to share a room!  What’s the range on mind reading?  How did Musa hit 16 without learning to tune stuff out or going mad?  But Musa says, ‘but if you want to know how I really feel...” and switches her music to a speaker, it’s guitar-y and nice.

Up in Dowling’s office, Silva says she should’ve killed the Burned One not left it chained up and knocked out in a shack outside the barrier.  Dowling needs to investigate this Burned One, see if there are more of them.  Then Dowling spills that Bloom is a changeling, from the time the last Burned One disappeared.  And she says, “Rosalind kept so much from us.  I’m worried about the students. The Alfea they know is very different from the one we attended.”  There’s something very “there was a war before” about the two of them.  Dowling may not be sus after all, though that may make her a terrible headmistress depending on how the next episodes go.

Montage of sleeping students.  Terra and Dane are texting.  Dane accidentally likes one of Riven’s sexy photos.  Riven’s pleased.  Sky and Stella are sharing a bed but after the last scene I can’t imagine they actually did anything.  Sky seemed pretty unseduceable.  

And outside a Mysterious Cloaked Figure passes through the barricade, finds the Burned One in the hut, and zaps it awake with lightning. It pushed back its hood… Beatrix!  So if she undid her too-tight braids she’d be Stormy?  So is Beatrix the villain?  I mean obviously she’s a villain but the threat of the Burned Ones feels... bigger than one teenager in Bratz clothes who has not got the presence of even one Trix much less all three wrapped up together.  But anyway she’ gets to be a doomful cloaked figure at the end of episode one.

Very pretty ending credits music. Listened to it several times.  I can’t understand the lyrics which is probably just as well.  Is it in irish or is it just sung in a way to not have clear lyrics?  C’mon fate, Irishness is a big thing you’ve got going for you, please milk it for all its worth!

I… I LIKED it!  Now my friends say future episodes get worse so I can’t get my hopes too high but this wasn’t awful.  None of the girls really had any vibe of their characters, only Bloom and Sky really look like Bloom and Sky.  The worldbuilding is lacking, I’m left with more questions than answers.

And oh god one episode was ten pages and about five hours.  I… I meant to do this with every episode but I’m not sure I can.  There’s so much to comment on it takes forever.  Maybe I’ll do each one in parts.  Or maybe I’ll abandon the writing and just watch the show like a normal person.  It’s a lot of fun to fine-toothed comb each scene but I’m’a be here forever!

[suzie-guru]

Suzie Saw “Hamilton”!!!

(And Went To Chicago And Had An Amazing Time!!!)

Here it is, the long promised post about my Hamilton experience! The thing is, I had SUCH a great time in Chicago, I’m gonna take you through each day I was there, just because it was so much damn fun and I am so damn in love with Chicago, holy hell you don’t understand, I’m not even a City Girl and I want to live here. 

I might have to divide this up into separate posts, I had so much fun and did so many things. If that’s the case, then here’s Part One! 

Day One/HAMILTON 

God, I love traveling by train. I developed a taste for it when I was studying abroad in Scotland, and this trip just brought it home even more – it is so much better than planes or driving/riding in the car. Can i just travel everywhere by train? I would very much like this. 

So my sister and I got into Chicago nice and early since we left at the asscrack of dawn, so we had plenty of time to check into the hotel and then wander around and find somewhere to get some lunch. Care was scared by a pigeon

And I gave a special little greeting to a certain tower 

...before we finally found a wonderful restaurant called Elephant & Castle where we dined heartily. Our waiter was an absolute doll, and he very animatedly engaged me in a conversation about the pains of being a ginger and having our hair wash out in the summer and darken in the winter. 

Which actually leads me to a really funny running gag that was happening this trip? Wherever we went, people were compelled to talk to me about my hair. Like, seriously, I’m not calling it a running gag lightly, it was an ongoing thing! 

Passanger On The Train: “You have the prettiest red hair I’ve ever seen! Truly, it’s lovely.” 

Ryan, Friendly Chicago Waiter: “Your hair is the exact shade of strawberry blonde red that mine is before the sun gets to it!” 

Lady At Breakfast Cafe The Next Day: “There’s a painting of a girl in the Impressionist Exhibit they have here whose hair is the same shade as yours!” 

(perhaps they were talking about this girl???) 

(Like, I could see it...) 

But yeah, small wonder I love being a redhead so much. Given that I had been worried how faded and gross my hair looked before the trip, I was pleasantly surprised each time it happened, and my sister engaged in good natured grousing. 

Care had some homework to do before the show, so after lunch we went back to the hotel, where she hit the books and I took a catnap. 

And then, it was time for...

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUSNESS, GUYS

G U Y S

IT WAS SO INCREDIBLE

WHAT A LIFE EXPERIENCE 

I swear to God, as soon as the pre-show warning rolled over the crowd, coming from one fabulous King George, I started grabbing and punching Care, who was excitedly punching and grabbing me right back. And then as that music started and Wayne Brady as Aaron Burr stepped onto the stage....!

Something you need to know about me: I grew up on Whose Line Is It Anyway? From an early age, I revered Wayne Brady. So when Care and I found out he was playing Aaron Burr in the Chicago Cast, we knew we HAD to see this show in particular. So I was already going through some INTENSE Proud Mama feels about seeing him in this role. 

But oh man, as soon as he stepped onto the stage and began, “How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman...”, the whole audience went nuts and then, like, immediately hushed, utterly enthralled, utterly ready to surrender themselves over to the ride we were about to be taken on...

Guys, he did SUCH a great job. So many moments I was just grinning into my hands or just nodding in fierce appreciation or wiping at my eyes at everything he was doing with this character, this story, how he danced and moved and wove his mark into this role. In Dear Theodosia, he had this moment where his voice faltered and cracked and this smile just grew on his face, joy and wonderment in his eyes...

In The Room Where It Happens the way he sang the final “Click, BOOM!” and stabbed at the floor with his hands and light backlit him...it sent the entire audience into a round of applause that lasted nearly a full half minute...

And then there was The World Was Wide Enough and how he sang “I survived but I paid for it...” 

I had always wondered what song would send me into tears the most during a live production. That and Philip’s death utterly ruined me. 

Granted, no one can do Wait For It the way Leslie can. As much as I love Wayne, no one can touch Leslie for that. But he did a damn good job with it too. It’s just...that’s Leslie’s song. 

God, I just want to send him a letter saying how proud I am of him, you know? Totally normal feelings, right? Stop being a weirdo, Suzanne.

NOW FOR THE REST OF THE CAST!

Absolute Hands Down Standouts (along with Wayne, of course) were our Hamilton (Miguel Cervantes), Laurens/Philp (José Ramos) and Lafayette/Jefferson (Chris De’sean Lee). Holy SHIT, Cervantes and Ramos have GORGEOUS voices. Lin would have given Cervantes all the gold stars for what he did with Hamilton - he was brash and snarky and heartfelt and utterly amazing. His “I was chosen for the Constitutional Convention!” was delivered all calmly until he did this complete moment of FANGIRLING at the end with happy flappy hands and everything, it was so perfect XD 

Hands down, my favorite was Lafayette/Jefferson. GOD, HE WAS SO GOOD. French accent wasn’t as swoon as Daveed’s, but then again, whose is? But as soon as he did the “An-ARK-KEE” line and then danced/grinded up on Burr for note ONE, but TWO scenes...yeah, my heart was won entirely. Completely brilliant acting and singing and all around everything. And his Thomas Jefferson was gold, solid gold perfection. 

“Daddy’s calling.”

*Audience Oooohs* 

Our Washington (Jonathan Kirkland) was also excellent, although both Care and I agreed that his performance was very different from Chris Jackson, but in a way that really worked. With Chris, you know he and Lin are basically Big Brother/Little Brother, and that comes through in their performance, which is only helped by how they’re both the same height. With Kirkland’s Washington, he played Washington a bit more authoritatively and stiffer, more of a stern father figure than a brother, and the fact that he was physically much taller than Cervantes really gave that weight. 

Our Angelica (Karen Olivo) was actually the actress who originated the role of Vanessa in Lin’s first show In The Heights! Both Care and I really loved how she played the role - Renee’s Angelica almost always had a playful edge, but Olivo’s had this snarky sassiness to her that flowed very well from genuine heartbreak to a deep well of anger. As Care said, you could tell she felt things deeply. 

Our Eliza...okay, I got to admit, Ari Afsar has a lovely voice, and she looks a lot like Pippa, but...she was a case of hit and miss. Her acting in Helpless was really...forced, with lots of beaming grins with almost squinty eyes, and she kept stiffly holding her arms to her sides in a way that was really odd? Like, maybe she was trying to show Eliza trying to keep herself calm in her girlish excitement? Whatever it was, Care and I both agreed that we were thinking “Girl, relax.”  

She had some really sublime moments of acting, though, which made us really excited to see her take on Burn, but even then that was a underwhelming. She captured the anger of it, but none of the heartbreak. Again, no one can touch what Pippa did with Burn, but still, she could have done so much more with it. Honestly, I felt that the actress for Peggy (Samantha Marie Ware, who was INCREDIBLE) would have been a better Eliza and her Peggy, and Care agrees. Apparently she’s the understudy for the role anyway, so I guess it would work out just like that...

OH! There was this moment where there’s this song that WASN’T included on the CD that completely shocked me, and Care confessed that she hadn’t said anything to me as a surprise. It really worked, and I am not going to spoil it here, but it’s SO DAMN SAD AND REALLY EFFECTIVE. 

Our King George (Jin Ha) was actually the understudy (AND he’s the understudy of Hamilton!!!) and he was BRILLIANT. He played him with just the right flounce and froth and petulance, and his voice was LOVELY.  

The choreography was INCREDIBLE, since I hadn’t spoiled myself too much by watching videos, with Yorktown and Helpless being the exceptions. Standout moments: 

Right Hand Man was just balls to the walls MAGNIFICENCE. The lighting coming in these great flashes of cannon fire, the dancers jumping/throwing themselves into the air like they’re being hurled back from the guns...incredible. 

During Stay Alive, there’s this bit at the beginning with a British Soldier and a dancer that makes it look like Hamilton, writing for Washington, is right in the path of the bullet that the soldier shot, but it swerves around him at the last moment. The same thing is repeated for the final duel with Burr, but we all know how that ends...=( 

I had NEVER seen any footage of Hurricane, so I was blown away (ha) by it in its entirety. Just...brilliance. Complete and utter brilliance and heartbreak. 

During The Reynolds Pamphlet, Jefferson got up on the desk and did this wiggling dance that was completely ridiculous and yet utterly appropriate for what an asshole Jefferson is XD 

OH! There’s this moment in Satisfied right after Hamilton sings to Angelica, “I’ve never been satisfied...” and he kisses her hand, and the whole background/chorus (out of the light but still visible) gives this quick 

g  a  s  p

of an inhale, and it looks so perfect and just utterly conveys this moment of shock that Angelica is experiencing. 

This cast was a gift, plain and simple. This show is a gift. 

Also, I GOT A BUNCH OF SWAG AND NOW I AM VERY MUCH POOR, OH WELL: 

The Schuyler Sisters Shirt 

Hamilton Broadway Cast Program Book

Hamilton Sweatshirt 

Hamilton Coffee Mug

Hamilton Fridge Magnet for Mom’s collection =) 

I will not be spending any money on myself for a good long while, unless I mysteriously win the lotto soon. 

Also also, Care and I waited outside in the FREEZING COLD to see if we could see Wayne, but we only got a glimpse of Layfayette’s actor (and one guy who tried to talk to him was shooed away by the House Manager), but then Hamilton came out and signed a few programs! We were too far away to talk to him/get him to sign ours, but we pretty much decided that Wayne would have either left from a different door or would wait until the very last of us left before he would go home. 

Also also also, Care keeps accidentally calling it Hamlet. I keep teasing her about it XD

All in all...I am so blessed. So incredibly blessed that I got to go to this show with this cast. Forever a top highlight of my Suzie’s A Musical Theater Geek life. 

Next up, Day Two! 

[argocitycosplay]

Slimer watched the sad clown join H.P. Lovecraft as he was chatting up Captian Marvel. Behind us, drunk furries chased each other. This is the sort of thing that can really only happen at ConCoction.

I got out of work later than last year but still had hopes that i could make the opening cermemoniesif I stepped on it. When I rushed into the Bertrem I saw to my dismay that the line for registration was almost out the door. A man worked the line with a bowl of choclates, handing out Dove mins to everyone.

“Long line triggered the candy bonus,” he explained.

I got my badge too late to make the Opening ceremonies so I headed back to the car to pull on my Ghostbusters coveralls. I shrugged the proton pack on and tossed the gloves and goggles into the monkey head. I noticed that breathing was difficult due to the poor ventlation in the large mask and didn’t want to get into it until I’d gotten inside the building. Knightmage sotted me as I was wandering in and headed over to greet me and look over the costume.

“Tracy the Gorilla,” he said shaking his head. “Man, that’s obscure. Did you just see the monkey head and think Tracy?”

“It was in the back of my mind,” I admitted. “But a gorilla suit is also one of those things you should just HAVE in your closet – like a little black dress.”

Tracy of course was the third member of the original Ghostbusters from the 1975 TV show  starring Larry Storch (Who I met a year or so ago) and Forrest Tucker. When Filmation made thier Ghostbusters cartoon, they stated that the characters were the grandsons of Storch and Tucker, but that Tracy was the same gorilla. I wanted to mash it up so I decided to up Tracy in a proton pack and coveralls from the ’84 movie (though I added a t-shirt with the filmation logo under it, one extra touch), integrating him into the  Columbia Ghostbusters as well. ‘Mage circled me to check out the pack as I pinted out the christmas lights and laundry detergant caps  that made up the prop. He laughed as I excused myself to head inside.

Living inside the Gorilla head was similar to wearing Mr. Freeze. I had to keep moving to keep circulation going in the mask otherwise air would get stagnant. I was right to make Concoction the premire for this suit though – it’s one of the few places that would really get the gag, and boy did they. I caught my buddy Jason as well as connecting with Nicole and spotting Annye and her husband Zeke on the other side ofthe hall. Wandering in to the art show I head Vanessa’s voice pipe up “I know who’s in that costume!”. It’s always good to be at Concoction. Much like Cinema Wasteland, it’s home. Even if there’s no familiar faces around, yo ucan talk to anyone. It’s one of those very few places where the words “Mind if I share your table?” dosen’t fill me with dread. I ate with strangers several times in the con suite chatting abotu the day and the goings on. In the corner, a rack full of battered old sci-fi paperbacks was available to browse. That’s one of those things I love about Concoction – the books. That heavy literary focus helps it feel a lot like the Star Trek conventions of the 80’s. Roger Zelazney ut it best in Nine princes in Amber – “It makes me feel comfortable and secure to have walls of words, beautiful and wise, all around me. I always feel better when I can see that there is something to hold back the shadows.”

I had my own book with me, a copy of my battered old “Dreams ofthe Raven” by Carmen Carter, but honestly, I barely touched it. During lunch, my table mate and I listened to the energetic conversation going on next to us.

“See, Scooby Doo dosen’t ever interact with anyone else on the team.  That’s because he dosen’t actually talk – it’s just that Shaggy is high off his gord the entire time! And anyone who thinks Daphne and Fred are together is nuts. Fred is asexual – he’s totally oblivious. Daphane is one of those spoiled rich girls – she’s just there to play with him and break his heart. He looked like someone she could manipulate like that. But man, she HATES Shaggy…”

The volume occasionally elevated to near shouting. I looked over at my tablemate. Like mine, her eyes were wide in disbelief behind her tablet.

“This is the best panel of the weekend!”

Back in the actual programming, I sat in on Knightmage’s Cosplaying for Charity panel. Halfway he paused to shake his head laughing at me, sitting in the back.

“The gorllia just keeps…STARING at me!”

“I can fix that!” I exclaimed and brought down the Ecto Goggles, covering the unblinking gorilla eyes.

“That’s not better!”

As the evening wore on I wandered over to the comedy showcase. Concoction is the only other convention I know of besides Monster Bash that includes stand up comedy and I always dig it. Two of the comics were late so the host kept us entertained with cat videos on  the projector. About twenty minuets late, the set started. I whipped out my camera hoping to livestream the set (So I could save it later) but once t he material began to involve graphic depictions of The Simpsons knocking boots, I thought better of it. The show started to slow down with the second preformer.

“You know what? Let’s talk about some stuff that you guys are intrested in. What do you want to talk about?”

He pointed at me. I comically looked behind me, making sure he wasn;t refrecing another gorilla. and then pointed to myself in exaggerated motions.

“Me?”

“Sure!” What do you want to talk about? Bananas?”

“That’s a very hurful stereotype,” I deadpanned. The room lost it.

Before I snuck out later the host walked by me and clapped me on the shoulder, telling me I got the biggest laugh of the night.

After five hours in the monkey suit I’d had enough and shed the Ghostbuster look before returning to catch the Confused Greenies do improv games. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay fo the Saturday night show so I wanted to make sure I got to this one. They started out with a skit about aliens arriving on earth during Carnivale, then went into Whoose line type comedy. Close to midnight, I decided wisdom was the better part of valor, and popped out early, skipping the barfleet party to brave the hour drive back home.

I was back around ten the next day, this time clad in my cumbersonme Slimer costume.I always seem to do themes at Concoction. It’s something that was coincidental at first but now has pretty much become intentional. As much as I like Tracy, I didn’t feel good about entering him in the costume contest. He’s mostly assembled. It’s a wierd assembly, but other than the proton pack, feet  and googles it’s all stuff I bought. Slimer on the other hand, is 100% made from scratch -and he’s not been out nearly as much as I’d like. Still, Slimer wasn’t the costume I was really looking foreward to. I couldn’t wait to see my friend Annye’s Iron Marvel. She’d crafted the Captian Marvel suit out of foam insted of leather and the result was nothing short of spectacular.

We were stked to discover that Guy Allen was set up again in the Annex and headed over there to get some professional photos done (I so rarely get that opprutunity).

I managed to catch some of Jim O’Rear’s panel on horror before stopping over at his table and getting my Dawn of the Dead poster signed. He asked me if I was a Romero fan. I nodded. O’Rear expanded on how Romero was such an influence on him.

“Man, I saw Night of the Living Dead, and it changed everything for me. I was like – this. I can get into this.”

O’Rear ended up at the table with Jason, Tina and me for lunch.

Saturday consisted of the Doctor Who panel,  the costume contests and picking up dragons for the kids. I made sure to grab a photo with Mogchelle who was dressed as Sabrina – my daughter Maddie is a huge Sabrina fan and just discovered the old mangas coming off the new TV show. I found her an old Archie with Sabrinia in it as well. Even the Cat got something. I found an adorable catnip Cthulu for Sparky. It was to my great reluctance that I had to cut out early, but Clue was screening at the Cedar Lee at 9:30 with a live shadow cast and I couldn’t miss it. But I’ll tell you this much; I’ll be back at Concoction next year!

    ConCoction 2019 Slimer watched the sad clown join H.P. Lovecraft as he was chatting up Captian Marvel. Behind us, drunk furries chased each other. 1,492 more words