#VERY long rant

[codenamesazanka]

I'm sorry, I'm fixated on The Walk because it has seemed like such a pivotal point in Shigaraki's life, and in the story. And then when it finally came time for Deku to save Shigaraki/Tenko... it gets relegated to two measly panels. 

In Chapter 69, Shigaraki reveals his resentment of basically the entire world for being so carefree when they know, logically, someone is out there suffering - "someone, somewhere...is off killing people, for whatever reason... these fools keep smiling and laughing... living their lives." 

Later, building on this idea, he realizes - and states out loud to Deku - that All Might annoys him because All Might has created a false sense of peace. Plus, All Might himself smiles so bright and cheerful, as if he's invincible, as if he can and has saved everyone: "The reason these fools can smile and live their lives... is cuz All Might's always got that grin on this face... Smiling wide, as if to say... There's no one he can't save!!" 

Paired with a flashback of a severed hand, much like the ones Shigaraki wears, the implication is clear: Shigaraki resents how no one came to save him when he had a quirk accident that killed his dad/family; moreover, specifically, he seems to hate the bystander effect - that tragedy and suffering can happen but the people around such incidents can just not give a single crap. There are people in trouble, but the majority of the world doesn't bother to help, because they think Heroes will take care of it - All Might, especially, has made them feel like it's just not their problem. 

This was before Shigaraki regained his memories, but his life since the amnesia hasn't really disproven any of that. He was picked up by AFO, a Villain, first of all; but he would later create the League, all members of who have clearly suffered from something and was never saved - not by Heroes, but also not by people who are supposed to protect them, like parents and family, and not by their fellow humans. 

There's a reason Shigaraki targeted Bakugou to kidnap and recruit - he saw someone who seemed to be restricted and suppressed, literally bound and gagged on live television, a thing allowed and even awkwardly laughed at by the people around him. All Might was smiling as he presented a medal to the clearly upset boy. And so he thought Bakugou would understand.

When Shigaraki remembers his past, his memories also don't disprove the bystander effect and his hatred of it either. In the house his father built, everyone saw he was suffering, but did nothing. They never stepped in to stop Kotarou’s harsh punishments; in fact, they only ever come to him in the aftermath to try to coax him to stop crying - essentially telling Tenko that hey, they aren't going to stop the actual problem (Kotarou), but they will try to make Tenko accept it. As if it's not their problem, but rather Tenko's. Tenko says that all he needed was just to hear a word of encouragement from them, but they couldn't even give him that. 

All this passivity in the family eventually leads to the moment when Kotarou slaps Tenko hard - twice! - and yet his mom and grandparents only stood by and watched. (Afterwards, they apparently also allowed Tenko to be forced to stay outside, crying, until nightfall.)

Then, of course, is The Walk.

Dozens of people saw a clearly-distressed lost child walk past them, and did nothing. Tenko at that moment is tragedy and suffering made manifest - he's a tiny little boy, alone, scared into silence, bloodstained, barefoot on concrete in a city. He's not hidden away or in some unknown corner of the shadowy edges of society - he's there in front of everyone, in broad daylight. 

And no one bothers to give a crap. Or, even if they do, briefly feeling troubled at the sight, they look away. The one lady who did try to help ends up deciding this was above her pay grade and explicitly states never mind, Heroes will take care of it. Everyone at the scene feels it's not their problem. 

(And the thing is - Tenko knew he deserved to be saved. There's one line that always stuck out to me: "I thought maybe the reason no one helped me was because I was being punished for killing my family." 

Tenko knew he did something bad, he was feeling immense guilt, so much that he was rendered mute, but he wasn't expecting to be punished then and there - he hadn't written himself off. Not being helped wasn't a foregone conclusion yet. He killed his family, but he wanted help - he knew he should be helped. Basically, it wasn't immediately, "I did something bad, so of course a Hero won't be here, now I need to run away and hide" - it was "[I did something bad, but] somebody... anybody, just me tell [what to do]. Someone help me." The idea that he deserved being ignored because of what he did seemed to have only come afterwards. 

This is why, I believe, in Chapter 365, Inner Tenko thought, "I wasn't broken back then... but it's not like anybody reached out a helping hand to me. It's not like anybody even looked at me." 

Two of the flashbacks are scenes from after he did a Bad Thing - Hana running away after he killed their dog; the old lady turning away, after he wandered into the city post-massacre. He did a Bad Thing, but "I wasn't broken back then..." 

There's also the flashbacks of the family pre-massacre. Scenes of his grandparents trying to pacify him, of his mom looking sad, of Kotarou being angry with him - all likely because Tenko was in trouble for talking about Heroes again, which was against the household rules, but wasn't/shouldn't be a strike against him. He was restricted and suppressed and couldn't fit in with the family, but "I wasn't broken back then..."

All those people in his family, on the streets - none of them ever helped.)

The Walk is the ultimate embodiment of his long and ongoing issue of Heroes and regular people doing shit nothing. It's the exact complaint Shigaraki was giving in Chapter 69. It's completely damning. 

This is what Shigaraki means when he says "everything I've witnessed..." in Jaku in Chapter 281 (and again in Chapter 379). He's seen it all - how there's all this pain, but Heroes have not done anything about it. And because Heroes are pillars of the community - because Heroes are civil servants, essentially representative of the governing system - the regular masses of citizens both follow their example while also becoming complacent. Now they just smile and laugh, living their lives, as if Heroes will and should take care of everything and all will be and is fine. 

Early on, Shigaraki put most of the blame on Heroes and so focused most of his plots on them - the USJ attack and Camp Raid were on Hero students - but he very much disliked the civilians and their bystander apathy too, and was already starting to make plans to destroy the system that enabled that. It’s remembering the Shimura Household Dysfunction and The Walk - the lack of help, the rejection, all civilians that passed him by - that really solidifies his hatred and conviction, causing him to fully embrace destruction - his attacks post MVA doesn't target just Heroes, but everything and basically everyone.

AND YET. Barely any of this shows up when Deku comes to save Tenko in Chapter 418. 

In fact, it starts in Chapter 417, when Nana and Deku intervene in Kotarou's slapping of Tenko. The rest of the family is noticeably absent. The only thing Deku and Nana needed to do was stop Kotarou. That Tenko also had an issue with how the family kept taking Kotarou's side and abiding by the abuse? Not relevant anymore, I guess. 

(Also, Tenko actually does believe he's broken, been broken from the start for being born with Decay. He even wonders why Deku would come help him. Somehow "I wasn't broken back then... but it's not like anyone even looked at me," has become "I'm broken and who could ever look at me given the way I am?" Note additionally that Deku doesn't actually discourage this notion. He only says "Well, I'm here to take your hand and give you peace.")

Meanwhile, The Walk is no longer part of Tenko's origin - or at least, not significant enough to warrant a Memory Environment. Yes, it's true that stopping and saving Tenko at The Massacre means Tenko wouldn't go on to walk The Walk, and I suppose you can argue that technically the issue of bystander effect has been solved since someone did finally show up to help. Deku didn't have to help, but he did. He made it his problem to figure out why Shigaraki seemed so sad inside, and he reached out a hand. 

But like. The Walk is still a thing that happened? It's still a problem? All those people still ignored a five year old? Deku saving Tenko doesn't mean the old lady suddenly gained a backbone and conscience to not walk away. In fact, it just makes it even more 'not her problem' because after all, a Hero did show up! She did exactly what she was supposed to do - nothing. 

It’s just not addressed. To quote @stillness-in-green, “Shigaraki gets way more dangerous to the common civilian after he gets his memories back, and it's a real crock that the story doesn't address that specific turn and what causes it, instead retrenching to "The Slap Bad; AFO Bad.””

I don't like Deku much, and I probably would've rolled my eyes at it, but I did really think Deku would get to be at the memory of The Walk, and he was see all these civilians ignoring Tenko, and he would be gutted and horrified, and maybe he’ll hear what the old lady say about “the police or a hero or somebody will help” as she leaves, and he’ll think something like ‘that's right, a Hero should be helping… but that doesn't mean all you civilians can't even ask if Tenko’s okay and walk him to a police box’, and he would chase after Tenko to save him, and maybe even say something like ‘What you said at Jaku about civilians being coddled. I know it too well that they didn’t want to get dirty. They're trying to support Heroes better now, but they should also support each other. We should all help each other. Let’s change things. I’m here now.’ Because it would make sense and provide a conclusion to this whole thing???

But no. Shigaraki wants to destroy because Tenko was sad he was born with an evil quirk and because of that he doesn't know how to love himself and so the source of the problem ultimately lies with himself. Deku is here to validate his existence so Tenko can feel better that someone accepts him so he can learn to love himself and stop all this nonsense. Except wait it turns out AFO gave him Decay and also turns out AFO manipulated his life since even before his conception so who knows what's even real anymore. Maybe the people on the streets really wanted to help Tenko but AFO made a gas leak fill the city with Asshole Gas and so no one helped and Shigaraki has been operating under a gaslit delusion for the past 15 years and his grievance against bystander apathy is completely invalid. Bummer. 

The series hasn't ended yet, and it's possible that the Walk will still be addressed. I've seen it theorized that civilians will show up to help stop AFO and finally save Shigaraki/Tenko like he had wanted all those people on the streets to do all those years ago. 

However, without the problem explicitly stated or even known - Deku never sees the family passivity, and he seems to have only caught glimpses of The Walk (and of course has no reaction/introspection/opinion on it) - this feels unlikely. Plus, the recent chapter hasn't filled me with hope or inspiration. The best the civilian could do was offer an All Might t-shirt. That's not exactly "I won't assume a Hero will take care of it and I'll take action myself"; it's more "I'll trust in Heroes even more to take care of the problem." I know that's not exactly fair, in that fighting AFO and helping a lost child are problems of very different magnitudes. But the fact the story hasn't given the civilians an opportunity to ‘redeem’ themselves, so to speak, in the latter case kinda proves my point, I think. 

So far, the story seems to think that Shigaraki's issue with passivity and complacency is actually irrelevant. Or has been solved by Deku. Who took on the immense task of saving Shigaraki because he possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding. So Deku is special, and thank god someone so special existed to save Shigaraki. Because otherwise, Shigaraki wouldn't have been saved. Due to the majority of people being passive and complacent. Which isn't a thing that needs to be dealt with.

(Or, I guess you can say that it was All For One who planted the hatred of bystander effect into Shigaraki/Tenko (if he didn't somehow manipulate the people on the streets (and the Shimura family, previously) into ignoring Tenko), since he did say “Everyone just passed by, pretending not to see, thinking some Hero would save the day. Who decided to make the world this way?” when he first found Tenko. So even that hatred and grudge isn't ‘true’ and we can dismiss it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[anumacy]

Lesbian

Taking this chance to rant

OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO GORGEOUS

FROM THE FEMMES TO THE BUTCHES TO EVERYTHING BETWEEN

LONG HAIR SHORT HAIR MEDIUM HAIR NO HAIR

BLUE EYES GREEN EYES GRAY EYES BROWN EYES HETEROCHROMIA EYES CHANGING COLOUR EYES

ANY RACE

MWAH GORGEOUS

FROM THE IM DEADER THAN A VAMPIRE TO SUN KISSES ME DAILY

WOMEN>>> THEY'RE JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

From my flat girlies to my curvy

Freckles to none

Perfect complexion to acne/dermatitis/psoriasis girlies

To gorgeous straight hair to beautiful locks/afros

THEYRE JUST SO <333333333

I LOVE WOMEN

I WANNA HUG THEM KISS THEM DATE THEM MARRY THEM

I WANNA BUILD A FAMILY WITH THEM

I WANNA HOLD HANDS UNDER THE STARS

I WANNA DANCE WITH THEM LIKE WALTZES

I WANNA DO EVERYTHING WITH THEM <3 JUST BREATHING NEXT TO THEM

AUUUUUHHHH I LOVE WOMENNNNNNN ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ THEYRE JUST EEEEE

To my real life ones to my anime fictional gals

Beautiful. Outstanding. Gorgeous. They are literally the light at the end of the tunnel

idc if you got hair idc if you don't. GORGEOUS. 😤 love yourself as much as I love women, mkay?

Rant over

[sketchyfrogzz]

vent (i guess)

• I kinda wanted to explain why I've been feeling suicidal so you all can understand,but i suck at venting so this might not make sense •

i don't want to tag anyone incase I might trigger anyone so read at your own risk.

!!!!btw the way there are mentions of physical and mental abuse, maybe be sexual but idk I just mention being groped a few times!!!!

School - One of the main reasons I felt so down was due to how mentally draining school was,and the constant assignments being thrown at me and exams being set in a whole week. Safe to say I was really stressed out and with how tired and hurt out I was feeling, I ended up not being able to study for a math test that would take up most of my grade, and I was only able to answer about 7 or 8 questions.. out of 50.

That really broke me knowing my mums usual reactions to bad grades [screaming and maybe in some cases hitting me] and hearing other students talk about how "easy" the test was got to me really bad. The recent stress from exams lead to me cutting myself, sometimes resulting in me bleeding from my arms with how harshly I cut up my arm.

In addition, in my class I kind of stood out as the "ugly" girl in my class, most of the girls in my class where skinny and only one was chubby, however I didn't look anywhere near pretty. At all. This lead to [mostly the boys] fatshaming me and calling stuff like a "pig" or "hippo" due to my appearance. This also broke me and made me turn to starving myself for days at school and not eating at all, and even resulting in my my mum having to forcefully feed me at times since I would refuse to eat.

and speaking of my mum,

My Mother - My mom might be the main reason for all of my stress and drowsy behaviour, as she had done nothing to support me during my worst.

One of the things she would do as a kid was beat me for no reason [she stopped hitting me due to how I once told a teacher about her hitting me after they spotted a bruise on my back] and would constantly pick at me for the smallest mistakes,which might explain how I'm such a people pleaser even if I have to hurt myself [I can name so mamy incidents where I did something like that]

She would also never give me real affection or validation as a child, only if I got good grades, but even if I did she would tell me to do better. And on the times I wouldn't get good grades, I'd just get a belt [or slap] to the face. This lead to me flinching a lot around which would give her an excuse to yell at me even more to "act normal"

She would also sometimes grope me when I hit puberty and grew a chest,she would usually never let me close my bedroom door unless my brother was around,and if I tried to get some privacy she would force me to change infront of her to prove I wasn't "hiding anything" and she would even call me fat or make fat jokes when we would go to but clothes and I couldn't fit into a dress simce I was chubby as a child.

She would always guilt trip me into forgiving her if she ever did something bad [as if the stuff I mentioned isn't bad enough] and would always talk about how much struggles she went through to bring up me and my brother and this is what she gets in return. But if I didn't forgive her she would just call me dramatic and yell at me to forgive her.

In addition she would constantly pressure into having a child when I got older and would never let me participate in stuff like sports or art because she said it was for boys and that I needed to learn to cook and clean for my "future husband" and would always scream at me if I tried to partake in art.

The only reason I'm being allowed to do art is because of my dad, who despite my mum jot letting him see me and my brother, manages to solve most conflict with no issue, which is why I love him so much.

He let's me be myself, doesn't pressure me and isn't strict, only when needed but always reminds me that he loves no matter what. Especially when nothing my mum and dad found out that I was cutting myself. My mum, who found out first, automatically went on a rampage talking about how I was being an attention seeker and looking for attention and pity and that people wouldn't care if I died anyway and that they might even be mad. She would even try to encourage me once when I was yunder to relaspe in hopes of scaring me to not cut myself. This made me not commit for a long time but messed me up even more because I was now living with EXTREME guilt whenever I relapsed.

However my dad,who found out recently because my mum wouldn't let him know, let me know that it wasn't good to do that and that it would hurt me,while also stating that he was proud of me for making it so far and telling me that I should try to stay away from sharp objects. And would constantly try understanding my situation due to how he doesn't really get to see me that much.

My mum would also threaten to kick me out of the house after the smallest argument, stating at times how she wished she never gave birth to me as I was so disrespectful to her and apparently was the innocent one. And if I told my dad she would try lying to him to get him on her side,thought my dad knew better and would be more calm, trying to see both sides first.

This is less serious but-

My Brother - He's probably the smallest reason I wanted to commute because he didn't really do anything and it was basically my mums doing.

My mum would always favour my brother over me at all times it was painfully obvious, my brother has changed but before he would always hit me,and apparently I found out the reason I had a small dent in my head [barely noticeable but] was because my brother had hit me with a object when he was younger.

My mum would always encourage my brother to hit me as a joke whenever we got into arguments,especially if I was in the wrong. And when I cried she would laugh and call me dramatic. She would also always never tell my brother off when he hit me because he was the man of the house and I should respect my older brother.

Luckily when my dad found out he managed to talk with him [which took a lot of convincing from my mum] and scolded him,telling him it was wrong to hit your own sister and that he should apologise [what my brother told me] and my dad's the main reason why my brother inst a total jerk anymore.

But yeah you can see why I felt so down for so long but I guess that's all I have to say :/

[thespacedragons]

Ok I've been trying not to rant about nimona because I want to rant about really specific things I would call spoilers so final warning turn back now if you haven't seen it.

When the squire gave Balister his sword and he hefted it, he Knew it was weird because swords balance can be thrown off very easily, and for someone who is used to using that sword it would be easy to tell. And I knew there was the tension around him becoming a knight because of the order, plus the squire trying to tell him something. My mind immediately went oh no something bad is going to happen during the ceremony with the sword. So I'm really tense the entire time the queen is holding the sword, and then she hands it back and I kind of breathe a sigh of relief and Then and only Then at the Moment I let my guard down is when it happened. And I saw him too shocked to do anything and I'm like No point it away! Oh no.

It was spoiled to me before I watched the movie so I knew his arm got cut off, and I guess I understand how his arm got cut off especially with his later explanation of "that's how we were trained". So I understand how it happened, training and muscle memory kicked in before he could even think, or else he might have just gone for the sword or for the wrist even.

Then the guilt that Ambrosius felt about that was addressed in such a good way (the car ride with the lady whos title i forgot was amazing, i think a very good way to show that he is having complicated emotions while also showing him not being on the level of relationship with her where he could share those complicated(and mildly treacherous) thoughts). And even through that guilt: when he saw Ballister again, he treated his prosthetic as part of him, because now it is.

Also on the topic of guilt, you can tell that Ballister feels guilty for the death of the queen, even though he knows, and argues, that he is not at fault. Maybe I can just see it because I get this unique brand of guilt for things that aren't actually my fault, but I vibed with Ballister so much on that, and seeing him able to overcome that guilt, even if it was in a subtext that nobody could read, made me so so happy for him.

Another thing I vibed with Ballister on was his growth in acceptance of Nimona. I was raised in a covertly homophobic, overtly "supportive" way, if you know what I mean. The questions that he was asking at first felt innocent to him even though they were actually attacking how Nimona is, thus her response of "I'm Nimona". And telling him he was asking small minded questions, because he was trying to fit his understanding of it where he could already understand at first. Eventually he came to accept that he didn't need to understand Nimona completely to still think of her as an amazing person, because Nimona understood herself. And that's when he asked questions of genuine curiosity instead of questions that were for a purpose, to categorize her in a way he would understand. And when the question was out of genuine curiosity, Nimona answered.

And onto Nimona herself, I am not as unapologetically myself as her, nor am I Nearly as chaotic, but the way she presented her gender is something I haven't felt true connection to in another character. Perhaps it's because I relatively recently discovered my gender identity or because I haven't been watching the right shows, but how she sees her gender is how I see mine. Yes I am presented like a girl but I'm not a girl if I don't want to be in the moment. And that is incredibly oversimplified way to put it, but I still can't really find the words to explain my gender identity even seeing one so similar on the screen.

And another thought that I saw someone else say that I completely agree with is that it is so amazing that we never see how Nimona "started" that she doesn't have a "true form". Because it's irrelevant, and honestly I've seen so much where people are making what you started put as just if not more important than who you are now. Yes the past shapes the future but it's our present choices that make the past, the past is done and we can't change it, so just learn from it and use what you've learned to live Now, to Be now. Because what you are Now, is what is important because even as it shifts, it's always going to be now.

Don't know if that last bit was very coherent but if you've read this far thanks for reading my silly little passion rant and I love you. <3

[funzige-gedachten]

I want to complain about the book im reading for a bit, ignore this👍🏻

Ok so im reading an informational book about sustainability through the ages (its called “we weten al hoe het moet” and its a translation from the german book “wir konnten auch anders”) and i was very exited to start reading it because sustainability and history are two things that are very dear to me. But once i started reading all they were yapping about was economics and shit and im not here for that😭 now im getting a bit further into the book and for some reason this author can not stop talking negatively about both the past and the present and somehow also keeps insulting the reader. How are you supposed to teach us about how they used to do things and tell us we can learn from the past when you keep bashing it and keep bringing up economics??? And why do they constantly downtalk the reader??? It keeps assuming the reader doesnt know anything about how history works and here i am as a history nerd who primarily focusses on the day to day life of people in the past, reading this… very very weird to me but okay

Anyway i will continue reading and hoping it gets better further into the book and i hope they tell me something that i do in favt nit know that doesnt have to do with the price of piece of meat in 1200s germany because i did bot start reading this book to be told about numbers

Ok rant over sorry HAHAHA

[inactivenowplsdw]

Blue lock orchestra au bc I have an orchestra concert on Thursday

Violin 1

Kaiser obviously (lol)

Rin

Isagi maybe?

Noel

probably Zantetsu

Nanase?

Violas

Sae

Ego probably

Reo definitely

I feel like Raichi maybe?

Chigiri

Aiku?

Cellos (I play the cello btw!!!)

NESS

Kurona

Lorenzo

Nagi

Bachi!!!

Aryu

Naruhaya :D

Sendou

Hiori?

Bass

Kuni

Charles probably

Gagamaru

Barou

Sendou

Niko

Harp

Shidou

Tokimitsu?

Ness

drum set?

Snuffy

probably Lavinho

Piano

Ness

Loki

Nanase

Extra

I put some characters multiple times so I’m basically just explaining why lol (and a lil extra)

Ness probably knows how to play th piano, harp and cello because his parents were probably strict about grades and wanted him to have extra credit.

I think Sendou would have started out playing cello but switched to bass once he realized he didn’t really like playing the cello.

Nanase is just hardworking ig?

Rin doesn’t like that Sae switched from violin to viola :(

Naruhaya and Barou did a duo in an ensemble festival during middle school but shortly after Naruhaya stopped playing cause he couldn’t afford the cello but still keeps in contact with all the players he can :D

me(cello) and my friend(viola) did a duet at a ensemble festival so i reimagined that into a ReoNagi duo (we played carol of the bells so they did too)

Tokimitsu broke some of his harp strings when he first played cause he was so nervous

Ness is really talented but is super humble and modest so when Some members found out he did (and was good at) a bunch of extracurriculars other than just the cello they were shocked 😭😭

anyway thx for letting me rant <3

[getyourfuckingticketsready]

Got saddled with the new train for 2 rides. I hate these god forsaken trains. I don't even want to put in any effort here. If on the old ones I'd really try to check every passenger then here I don't even want to fucking try. The stairs alone are a deterrent of productive work but the passengers feel more shitty here too. Because sure on the old trains people rarely have their tickets ready but then at least I have relatively memorized them. And with my face blindness it's a hassle, but manageable because the train carts are different. Here the carts are literally identical. I can't even count how many times I've gone further than I need to just because I'm going on autopilot because you cannot function any other way after working 12h sleeping 4h and you still have to work 8h. I got off topic but the trains are shit and passengers feel shittier because barely anyone has their tickets ready and I don't want to awkwardly stand there while they rummage through their black hole of a bag to find their crumpled up ticket that I then have to try to scan. I'm becoming more and more pissed off and annoyed by this company and it's treatment of workers and to be honest even passengers. Because one would assume that new, freshly made trains would think about the common man. Well they did. We have a toilet, outlets, climate control, place for baby stroller/wheelchair. But one thing that we don't have is a place for bikes. Where the fuck are the passengers supposed to put their goddammed bicycles? In the place for wheelchairs/baby strollers? Like seriously not a single space for a bike!

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[anumacy]

Okay like I know I post a lot about how gay I am and I'm really sorry but like im not out irl to any of my family or have any friends irl aside from 4 people and 1 is MIA with surgery and idk how she'd act with me being gay, 1 is gay but we have 0 classes together anymore and its super hard to find her, 2 are guys who know but I feel pretty excluded at times.

So here I get to act like how I truly am, in real life im really shy, daily I say about six words at school. Want to know them? "Here." "Here." "Here." "Here." "Help?" "Pardon?"

So like yh, idk how to describe my feelings. I'm a really emotional person but everyone thinks I'm super cold because I'm really stiff around people at first and people think im always great n fantastic because if I dare say I just want to cry people get concerned and if I dare mention my lovely thoughts they think im clinically insane which im NOT. All my life I've been bottling my emotions up so i dont know how to deal with them I have 0 idea how to interact people just saying my name will cause me to cry, so I post whatever I want here

So yeah, you will see on my Tumblr me ranting about how God damn gorgeous women are and how badly I want to kiss one because I've never been in a relationship because people hate my soul for 0 reason

So yeah, you'll see me yelling at the top of my lungs about books/novels/anime/shows/webtoons

So yeah, you'll see me have a panic attack almost daily

So yeah, that's me.

I promise I'm fine, I won't do anything reckless, just decided for those people who want to know me, here it is.

[anewp0tat0]

i lied i had like atleast one more weston thought to expell from my brain, before i miss this boat entirely. we're heading to green lands woooo

[alakirist]

Well, I was told to scroll past which is a sure way to get me very curious, so of course, I read it xD.

I see what you’re getting at, and I think this was their intention, that both Arcann and Vaylin were broken in their own way, but they just failed to execute it. You say yourself that there should’ve been options to not use Vaylin’s conditioning, but the lack of those options means that the entire point of the story is lost, in my opinion at least. The tragedy of “a person being broken beyond any help” does not work if nothing of substance was even tried. The Outlander can’t refuse to use her conditioning, can’t show any sympathy over Nathema. Arcann never apologizes for betraying her, and neither does Senya. There were no good attempts, if there were and those didn’t work either than this would’ve been made sense and have been actually tragic.

Vaylin and Senya

Vaylin hating Senya should not have been something that should’ve used as a proof that she’s irredeemable and beyond help, and I think the writers intended for it to be so, unfortunately. Senya get her away to be tortured for years while promising that it would help her while Vaylin was a little child, that must sting horribly. It’s something some people would never able to forgive, it’s not even comparable with any irl forms of abuse considering the force’s involved, and while Senya did come to regret it but by that point Vaylin was not only abused, but her brain was tampered with both chemicals and force powers by that point, she was a broken person who was left in a nightmarish cage and forced to become a monster.

Now, of course, wanting to kill her is going overboard, but I don’t think hating Senya or wanting nothing to with her is. I hope that when they bring Vaylin back as Syl, she will have her own story focused around Satele and their newly formed relationship. Senya and Arcann are dead for some people, so the best way to include them for those that are alive would be a couple of interactions where Vaylin let’s go of her hatred and just says that she wants to live a life without them because she can’t get past them hurting her. It would be a very mature and bittersweet conclusion to their arc. And of course this would mean that for people for whom they’re dead they can still enjoy a full arc with Vaylin rather than it being severely trimmed down because you killed relevant characters two years ago.

2. Arcann, Vaylin, and glee

I see a lot of people say that Arcann didn’t show any pleasure in committing atrocities while Vaylin did, and I don’t think it’s fair. This is not the only variable in who deserves redemption arc or any sympathy at all, and not all of them get discussed.

First of all, Arcann did actually show glee. While I agree it was overall less than Vaylin but it’s still very much there. Just look at his Asylum fight. He says “You will hang on my wall for eternity”, after he kills HK he enthusiastically says “I can’t wait to kill all you friends”, at the start of the chapter he brags about killing scions because they are “blinded by faith and prophecies” while he makes hard choices and forges his own path, all while standing on a pile of scion corpses. He also says Mandalorians kamikaze-zing themselves is amusing. It may not be as much as Vaylin but to say that he takes no pleasure in his villainy is incorrect. Could they write this differently? Absolutely, they could portray Arcann as someone who tries to be a semi decent ruler who despite his tyranny, is not a maniacal mass murdered. They could’ve Mande Vaylin be the one who commits crimes, either pushing Arcann to commit them or going rogue and committing them herself. But they didn’t, and I don’t want to let bad writing slide just because the non-conveyed intent probably had more sense than the presentation. The presentation is what we god.

Secondly, there is body count. Now, of course both Arcann and Vaylin are responsible for countless of people’s deaths, and it would be silly to say one is more deserving of redemption because one of them has a bit more zeros on their number, but it is important to note that Arcann commits greater atrocities, they are just always off-screen. Vaylin kills three knights because she doesn’t like odd numbers? Arcann makes them all fight each other to death until one half kills the other(!!!). Vaylin bombs Voss? Arcann bombs five planets but we never see the process nor are those planets the players are familiar with in some way. Vaylin kills a comp? Well, so does Arcann, but he conveniently got a resurrection chapter just before the choice to redeem Arcann dropped(I know it’s easier to bring back a droid than a person of flesh and blood without force, but I’m willing to bet there was some sentiment of ‘people won’t hold HK against Arcann when it comes to Voss, so you know, now would be a good time to give him a resurrection plot’). Also, Arcann commits actual definable genocide as he exterminates a religious order, which are included in the Wikipedia definition just like ethical and racial groups. Vaylin does not, all she cares about is killing specific people. Yeah she kills people Arcann tells her to kill, including the scions and the 5 bombed planets, but she wouldn’t have done without Arcann’s command, so most of the responsibility hinges on him. However, this isn’t what I believe to be a pivotal matter in comparing the two. All the body count stuff does is just make me question whether Arcann deserves any redemption or forgiveness at all. I believe that a certain point the person has crossed a moral horizon where their ability to change doesn’t matter, they should die either way to deliver retribution to countless people they harmed in their rampage. Onto the next one.

There is a matter of diminished responsibility. I don’t know much about it beyond a quick Wikipedia skim, so sorry if I’m making mistakes, but it seems like something that is used in courts to lessen the criminal’s sentence if there were strong mitigating circumstances as they were not completely in their mind. Vaylin, I believe, qualifies. It doesn’t help that the purpose and effect of many of the torture scenes isn’t clear and is just thrown there for edge, we know quite a bit. She had chemical implants installed in her brain, was forced to spend years on a planet that drives force sensitives to madness and hollows them out as people(just look at Lana’s reaction or what) became of Nathema zealots after prolonged exposure. She is also shown to have been suggested to rituals which in the trailer shown to forcefully have made her eyes go yellow. It seems to go beyond just abuse and torture, it’s actual brainwashing. She is never directly mindcontrolled in her twisted state, but the reason she ended up in this state was due to a uniquely mortifying experience that most Star Wars characters and literally not a single person irl can grasp. I think that makes jer legible for diminished responsibility.

Arcann doesn’t have that. I will say that I know many people say that comparing abuse is bad but in this case, I don’t think so. It would be bad if Arcann and Vaylin were not massive war criminals and this whole abuse discussion wasn’t central to how sympathetic or deserving of forgiveness at all they are. Arcann is never shown to have been victim of forceful rituals, his mind was never tempered with and while he did have harsh physical training with knights, Valkorion, but Valkorion never twisted him the same way he did Vaylin. The main source of Arcann’s rage is shown to be his father’s detachment or neglect, which is kinda the exact opposite of what he did with Vaylin. He took interest in Vaylin because she showed power, because she showed potential that he didn’t see in the boys. His treatment didn’t go behind being the victim of dismissal or neglect of a clever abuser, but that doesn’t put him on the same level as Vaylin or at least it shouldn’t. The force seemed to reinforce his inner evil, but it was never enforced upon him. Like Dooku, Maul, Anakin, many others, he was nudged towards dark side by a person who was pure evil, but he never has his choices or freedom taken away from him the way Vaylin.

Their cases not comparable as it this point I call bullshit of the narrative of ‘Vaylin being troubled from the start’(btw Senya says the boys were aggressive in one of the dialogues as well, so they weren’t perfect flowers either). I don’t see how a person that became evil of his own volition with a ‘push’ from outside forces is somehow better and more sympathetic or deserving of redemption than someone who was literally drowned forcefully in the sea of darkness, if we’re talking metaphorically.

but maybe their message is “it doesn’t matter how many crimes you’ve committed, what truly makes a person redeemable is that they can and want to change”? Perhaps, but they messed that up too.

3. Arcann’s ‘redemption arc’

Or to call it like it is, a brainwashing arc. Saying he chose to make amends is not too different from saying that the Imperial Agent choose to be a loyal servant of the Republic that hides info from their own organization. Okay, not THAT bad, but running up. He made no choice to become better, at all.

One thing he unquestionably chose to do was to save Senya. Does this show that he’s somehow capable of change? Not really. I guess you could say it’s similar to Vader saving Luke in the iconic ROTJ moment, but Vader’s redemption is just getting him a few peaceful moments with his son who forgives him before Vader dies. No one is forced to deal with Vader roaming around freely or not serving any punishment, this redemption arc is very much between Vader and Luke. If Vader actually did survive and got the Arcann treatment, I’d be very quick to call Luke a selfish asshole who puts one family member above the wounds that were inflicted on the entire galaxy.

So what about Arcann? He never hated Senya, him saving her was in character for who he was in KOTFE. He never hated his mother, he never openly defended her near Vaylin either, but he was far less enthusiastic about killing her as you said yourself. He even nudged Vaylin to remember some of the good times they spent with her in chapter 13, a failed attempt but it was still there. I don’t think he would’ve killed Senya even if she lied at his feet, defeated, at least not without enough hesitation to let her slip away. He felt all that while still bombing planets, bragging about genocide, hanging off the walls, and his carbonate collection. Both of those were path of his character. So yeah, him saving Senya after she mourns his loss and pouted out her heart is natural development and does not contradict anything we see from him before.

The ONLY case where he shows any remorse if he goes through a shady Voss ritual which ‘cleansed his rage’ and ‘washes away the hate’(it’s even in the dialogue). What happens if you kill Arcann’s mom? Well, he doesn’t t change at all, he remains the power hungry dictator with the only change is that he accepted the love for his mother and wants to avenge her. There is no learned lessons, there is no desire to fix mistakes. He could’ve been trying to become a better ruler and fix the mess his family created without wanting to ally with the Outlander. He doesn’t do any of that. To be fair, I once tried to look at Dark Arcann scenes with this particular interpretation in mind(that he learned some sort of lesson and wants to change, just without siding with the person who killed Senya) and there is nothing in the game to contradict is, so I will say it’s a viable headcanon, but it’s still headcanon. All we know for sure if that he is largely the KOTFE Arcann. I honestly really love the short non redemption arc in KOTET they give him if you choose to kill him, it shows that not everyone who can be redeemed should. And every time I think about how he bragged about being the master of his own fate, the more poetic it becomes that his fate was to have his execution broadcast for the whole galaxy to watch, the justice for countless people he harmed while he dies on his knees and has completely failed all of his goals.

His regret and desire to change comes from being subjected to a force ritual. There couldn’t have been many days passing between KOTET 1 and 6(since they all follow directly from one another as a plot thread), so it’s not like he had some long time to reflect. Even if he did, this being shown off-screen is unsatisfying and unreliastic. When he comes back, he is an entirely different person. He doesn’t care for power anymore, he is very kind and compassionate, apologetic, and shows zero signs of rage. He never struggles with it either, all of his words about it are superficial. he says he “fears that he becomes his old self” but we never see him lapse into the person he was, even for a moment, the show don’t tell principle is completely messed up here.

He just undergoes a complete 180 switch and no one in the Alliance says a word besides some very mild comments from Lana and Theron. Not Koth? Not Aric? Not the Star fortress companions that had to endure mini Death Stars on top of their home worlds? It’s ridiculous. The fact of the matter is that Arcann never ever shows remorse for anything but killing Thexan unless he’s actively brainwashed by Voss. And yeah, similar rituals were performed to some PCs in Vanilla, but they never forced them to have a complete personality switch. They served to cure actual tangible force diseases like Inquisitor’s mind being cleared of force ghosts. They never cured the entire personality and made people into completely different people. I find it very ironic that in KOTET trailer, they show force rituals being done on Vaylin as something that makes her turn evil and to the darkness. The do exact same thing with Arcann. We don’t even know if he was willing to do it, he was unconscious and Senya warns us that he will turn against us all if the ritual doesn’t happen. Vaylin never has anything like this done on her, the Holocron only frees her from direct mind control and Jarak procedure frees her from the command phrase, there is nothing that’s done to undo the force rituals or the damage that was done to her mind, it’s simply not attempted.

TLDR: Arcann’s actions and character after dies ex ritual is meaningless, he might as well be some Voss spirit they summoned to possess him.

4. Conclusion

As to whether the question of “does Vaylin deserve a second chance?”, I’m honestly not sure. I’m torn between lessening her sentence because of the diminished responsibility and sending her in a psychiatric ward. She definitely commited enough atrocities and I can’t say killing her is evil, even if she supposedly changes her way. 95% of my character killed Senya and Arcann, whether LS or DS, and they would do the same to Vaylin because they’re not interested in buddying up with chaotic mass murderers.

But Vaylin certainly deserved better treatment from the game and is imo by far the most sympathetic member of the family. If they want her to be a tragic person that cannot be saved, then show other people making attempts. Show Senya saying the words she did in Echoes while Vaylin is still alive, show Arcann apologizing and admitting that he mistreated her, too, show the Outlander extend genuine sympathy to her instead of using her conditioning. Without it, the story falls apart, and in this case, it was not a good story

Unpopular opinion

But before we start, some warnings are on the way.

Don’t waste your time on this post if you are a big fan of Vaylin. Just scroll.

I’m not kidding. I know there are a lot of people who wants to have a redemption arc for Vaylin, and this post is more likely gonna make these people angry at me, and none of us want this, so just scroll. 

It’s not Vaylin hate post though. I like her, and I don’t want to spread hate any more than there are already. If anything, Vaylin deserves redemption no less than Arcann or anyone else. Yet I have some “but” about it, and this is there you better scroll.

If anything, you are free to hate and unfollow me. Just do not misunderstand me. That’s the only thing I ask.

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[slugpup2]

still feeling sick, here's a vid of all the covers of pass on (as of now) playing at the same time i made a while ago

[amphibianaday]

day 1421

[taythecatfey]

I just gotta get up on my soap box here for a second.

Inhales

IF I SEE ONE MORE VIDEO OR THREAD ABOUT FULGRIM BEING WEAK AND PATHETIC IM GOING TO GO APE SHIT.

Fulgrim was given almost nothing to work with and then told go perform as good as everyone else. He saved his world with innovation, and compassion. He was a diplomate who was told he needed to be a general. He was told he's made for this so of course he can't feel overwhelmed and under prepared by his new task. He's gotta work twice as hard and fast to catch up with everyone else. He can't fail cause he can't afford to.

On top of that he gets mocked behind his back and to his face by his brothers for what he loves. Even Ferrus put him down when he said he'd make the best weapon. Cause someone as pretty as Fulgrim surely couldn't know anything about working with their hands. How many of the primarchs actually know what hard manual labor is like? If I was put down and constantly stressed about not being good enough I'd be a massive bitch too! I'd go out of my way to prove I'm equal if not better.

And out of all the traitors who fell to Chaos, Fulgrim was the one that had to be driven insane to get him to fall. The daemon sword pushed every insecurity and fanned his ego. He is not mentally well in that book. He falls to Horus manipulation after being told the Emporers doesn't love him. When he wanted to speak out at what Horus was saying the daemon physically wouldn't let him. He's really only that creepy pathedic mess after he's returned from his torture session in the painting. He was been broken down and made ready for Slaanesh to rebuild as her daemon prince.

I think people see him as pathedic and weak because hes uncomfortably human. He such human flaws and fears the other primarchs don't tend to show to the same degree. The primarchs have demigod like outburst. Fulgrim is just always emotional like a normal person. He's insecure and thats why I'm so endread to him. He still strove to prove he could do anything that was demanded of him and sadly that's what ruined him

[0heartangel0]

Could I add an addendum? (putting a 'read more' here, because it's long)

For a separate section, I'd put 'Too Depressed', for when a fic decides to focus on it, they crank it to eleven, to the point where you wonder why he hasn't done it yet. I'm not saying he isn't, but much like his character, there's layers to it. The only times his depression pops up is when he is either alone or he's practically backed into a corner to admit it. When Ryuji asks him about what happened to Aoi, it takes him a beat, before he decides to tell the details, but the details themselves are very minimal, and he shares it like he's reading off of a case file. He only mentions that it was a hit-and-run, and the killer hasn't been caught, because they're "out of his reach". When Joker tries to push for further info, Zenkichi just tells him that it's "none of your concern". Then when Ryuji tries to get more, only for Makoto to announce that dinner's ready, Zenkichi takes that as an excuse to avoid the topic all together. This moment, plus the later one where Ryuji tries again, only for Zenkichi to make the world's most fake-sounding yawn and announce how exhausted he is from the day-and-a-half long drive (only to not even go to bed as shown by the end of Akane's breakdown with Makoto), shows how, unlike with Akane, Zenkichi is very avoidant about sharing his true feelings and keeps it bottled up. And when people try to pry, he either tries to dance around the details, or just makes an excuse to get out of the conversation as soon as possible. This is one of the major reasons why him and Akane have an extremely rocky relationship these past two years. While Akane is overly emotional, to the point of lashing out at her father, not even caring to hear him explain himself most of the time, Zenkichi is emotionally distant, never sharing his feelings, and almost never even tries to explain himself, for he feels (or knows) that what his daughter says about him is true. So to have most of these fics interpret his depression as being full-on blatant, even to other people around him, just goes against this established characterization. He's having full-on mental breakdowns in front of not just his co-workers, but even Akane. That mask that he wears throughout most of Strikers is completely off here, and how he feels is completely out in the open. But the worst thing these fics do is have him blow up at Akane, which just is SO out of character for him to do. While some show him backpedal and realize what he said immediately after, it still doesn't change the fact that he would never do this to her. Every time he interacts with Akane, and she yells at him and doesn't give him the time of day, he never fires back, and instead just takes it. He might sometimes try to make an argument in favour of him, but it immediately gets shot down by Akane, and all he can do is roll with it. Never once does he ever raise his voice at her. And when he did, it was when he was confronting her shadow, pleading for her to come back. Despite Akane never giving him the time of day, and he himself isn't around all that much, there's no denying how much he LOVES her. Almost every major decision he makes throughout the game surrounds or is influenced by Akane. He goes through Hell and back, risking his life, just to get her back. The reason he stopped pursuing the case at all was because he got a letter threatening to kill Akane if he continued. So him calling her a burden is just SO out of left-field, considering all that he sacrificed just for the sake of her safety. If he even thought for a moment that she WAS a burden, he would've ignored the letter's warnings all together. Also, painting the hit-and-run to be started because Akane ran away from her mother is just dumb and I hate it, and it makes it so it feels less like it's Owada's fault, and makes Akane being angry towards her dad feel confusing, since, as a young teen, she might be having survivor's guilt over what happened? Just, don't do that. It's gross. And it would feel too much like Kasumi's and Sumire's situation.

"hobby" of mine is going on the zenkichi hasegawa ao3 tag and sorting by recent, then judging how ooc he's written based on strict yet arbitrary internal metrics. by which i mean i receive psychic damage on a regular, yet voluntary (?) basis as i constantly find him in the red zones. attached is a sloppily made chart for reference

[tarucore]

ok but thinking about that one post, I think what modern Robin origin retellings get wrong is that Bruce was not a strict guardian, he wasn’t overly cold or distant from Dick, and I say this without judgement bc I love books like Robin: Year One and I’ll probably love the newest Batman and Robin series that’s coming out, but no modern comic really has a handle on how their partnership worked for the first 5-6 years

like the main problem between them in the early years is that they were best friends, partners!! He thought this kid was the best!!! Bruce was incredibly lenient with Dick if you think of their relationship as strictly father/son, and a huge part of their issues as Dick grew up was that Bruce suddenly started setting boundaries and treating Dick like a child just as he was becoming an adult, probably after he read a parenting book (joking) or realized that he was terrified of losing someone close to him again, whether that be by death or Dick moving away

I just don’t get why people are so insistent on ascribing the traits of modern Batman onto his early years, if Bruce had acted as emotionally distant and paranoid as he does now in certain comics then Dick would have never been as close to him as he is, and he would have left the position of Robin way earlier if Bruce hadn’t treated him like an equal

If you don’t want to lean into the campy, fun golden age Batman attitude that’s completely understandable but I’ve found hardly any modern adaptations that convince me Bruce likes the kid, much less loves him