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#V: NOW IS YOUR BEGINNING ( main )
fluxweeed · 4 months
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hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.
if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!
awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.
idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛
ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!
#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time#why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk#scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit#1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭#like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!!#this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅#2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom#but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines#a non-presence#i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions#i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself#occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off#that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅#but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by!#3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭#let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!!#4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!!#anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!!#but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf#can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅#5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags#could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i#please put me right in the bin#anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️
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eye-of-yelough · 2 years
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How the fuck do you name argonians
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osaemu · 9 months
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GOJO SATORU: ONE FOR THE MONEY, TWO FOR THE SHOW
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✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: you and satoru, your fake boyfriend, have awards to accept and places to be. so how'd you two end up fucking in a bathroom? NSFW
contents: fem!reader. semi-public sex, p –> v, blowjob, unprotected sex, creampie, praise, you two get walked in on at the end (kinda). references hungry for more. not proofread, ignore any minor mistakes. 3.5K words.
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“you two are so cute together,” the interviewer sighs, looking at you and satoru in turn. “please, tell us more about your relationship!”
satoru laughs, resting his hand on your back and pulling you into his side. you put on a smile and instinctually put a hand on his chest, pretending not to notice the way he stiffens up at the contact. “where do i even begin?” satoru asks dryly, turning and looking down at you affectionately, and he’s almost a good enough actor for you to believe there’s any real emotion behind those cold blue eyes.
two weeks ago, satoru’s media team came to you with a request for you two to start dating as a way of gaining more attention from your fans. naturally, you declined—it’s not like you’d gain anything from the deal but the burden of being paraded around on the arm of the man you hated—satoru gojo, the cocky son of some famous actor in the 90’s. but after multiple increases in the amount of money satoru’s team was willing to throw at you, you finally agreed under the condition that this arrangement would end the second you wanted it to.
“i’m sure you’ve seen our latest movie on netflix,” satoru starts, looking back up at the interviewer, whose eyes have practically turned into hearts. “the one with the serial killer, yeah? well, it started from there and just grew into more.”
“i guess you could say the attraction on the screen wasn’t all acting,” you add with a knowing smile. good thing you were a decent enough actor to pretend as if you weren’t just lying through your teeth, otherwise the millions of dollars in your bank account would all be gone. 
the interviewer laughs and turns to the camera, saying something about how the chemistry between you and satoru was what really made the movie a hit—in fact, it might even be the reason you’re both getting nominated for best actor and actress.
“well, if you’d excuse us, i think we should get back to the party,” satoru jumps in, nodding his head at the interviewer in thanks. he removes his hand from your back as you follow him to the main area, weaving through crowds of fans and interviewers on his way there. you walk at his side, heels clacking against the freshly polished floor. satoru dips his head and whispers, “hold my hand.”
you scrunch up your nose and shake your head. “no thanks, it’s not like anyone’s watching right now. it’s way too crowded.”
“just do it,” satoru mutters, grabbing your hand anyways. when you start to pull away, he fixes you with a stern look and adds, “they’ll think something’s wrong if you don’t.”
“ugh, fine.”
two hours pass, filled with other actors’ remarks on how good you and satoru make as a couple. suguru geto, one of satoru’s close friends who had played a cult leader in a recent documentary even said that you might be the girl who could fix satoru. yeah, right.
“so, when do awards start?” you ask satoru, swirling your drink and relishing the sound of the ice clacking against the side of the glass. he shrugs and takes a swig from his own cup, which looks suspiciously like apple cider disguised as champagne. “really? you’re nominated for like, four awards, and you don’t even know when you’re getting them?”
satoru laughs carelessly and looks you up and down, eyes lingering on the short cut of your dress. “at this point, i’ve got so many awards that it doesn’t even matter anymore. and by the way, you look really good in that dress. oh, wait, didn’t i buy it for you?”
“you’re not smooth.”
“then why am i nominated for best actor, huh?”
“because the system’s absolute shit, obviously. otherwise toji would win every time.”
satoru groans and drinks the last couple sips of his drink, rolling his eyes. “don’t even mention that piece of shit.” you shrug in response, hiding your smile behind your glass. a couple years back, satoru had lost a role to toji and to his despair, the movie did really well, despite what he’d promised to the producers who had turned him down. and it looks like he’s still bitter over that, and all of a sudden, the perfect plan to piss satoru off appears in your head.
“look, it’s toji right there!” you gasp, setting down your drink and hopping off your seat, walking over to toji while ignoring satoru’s warnings. “oh, hi, i’m a big fan,” you say to the tall, well-built man, smiling bashfully. toji turns and looks down at you, raising an eyebrow and smiling.
“hey, pretty, you’re the girl in that movie with the serial killer, yeah?” he asks, crossing his arms. you nod and internally marvel at how tall he is—especially compared to satoru, who, by any standards, is pretty damn tall. toji looks you up and down, taking his sweet time drinking in the way your dress hugs your figure. “that scene in the alley was really fuckin’ good,” toji adds conversationally. “you’re definitely winnin’ best actress for that.”
anyone who’s watched the movie knows that the scene he’s referring to is the one where you get fucked by satoru against a dark alley wall—and you’ve seen enough edits of the scene to know exactly why it’s getting all the hype.
“aw, thanks,” you say coyly, resting a hand on your hip and tilting your head. “y’know, i’ve always wanted to star in a movie with you,” you continue, hearing satoru come up behind you in the background. you ignore the sickeningly obvious way he clears his throat and flutter your eyelashes at toji, who’s eying you with interest.
“i’d like that. i can probably pull some strings,” toji replies with a smirk. his dark eyes flicker from you to satoru and his smile turns almost patronizing. “and who’s this?”
“her boyfriend. and i really hate to interrupt this friendly chat, but she’s not up for grabs,” satoru snaps, wrapping an arm around your waist and dragging you back to your spot at the bar. you shoot satoru an indignant glare, but receive no reply besides his tightening jaw. toji laughs and waves you off, mouthing “call me” at you when you turn back apologetically. 
satoru drags you by the hand to one of the bathrooms, shoving open the door with the side of his arm and pulling you inside. there’s a long, shiny counter, which you become very familiar with once your fake boyfriend hoists you up and sits you on it. “the fuck was that?” satoru hisses, narrowing his eyes accusingly.
“what, we were just talki—”
“i don’t like the way he was looking at you,” satoru interrupts, crossing his arms tensely. he fixes you with a cold stare and you fidget uncomfortably with the hem of your dress, which you now realize is rather short. 
“okay, and?” you reply irritably, starting to get annoyed by the way satoru keeps patronizing you. “it’s not like we’re even dating, gojo,” you snap, emphasizing the use of his last name.
“yeah? well, i don’t need my ‘girlfriend’ slutting herself out to the guy everyone knows i hate,” satoru fires back, taking a step forward. his palms rest on the counter on either side of your exposed legs, and you suddenly notice how red satoru’s face is. the flush in his cheeks wasn’t as noticeable underneath the bar’s dim lights, but here, it’s rather obvious.
“are you jealous?” you ask incredulously, unable to suppress the cheeky smile that finds itself on your face. satoru’s jaw slackens and his eyes widen, and that’s enough of a sign for you to confirm it—satoru gojo, your fake boyfriend, is jealous. he doesn’t reply immediately, so you laugh, throwing back your head and giggling at the way satoru’s petty rivalry seems to be only one of the reasons he was so eager to get you away from toji. “aw, that’s so cute, but we aren’t even dating, sweetheart,” you coo, reaching out and caressing the side of satoru’s face.
he instantly swats your hand away, rolling his eyes at your laughter. “well, we still have to act like it, you idiot,” he mutters, leaning over you and eying the low neckline of your dress. you instinctively cross your arms and glare at him, and satoru only cocks an eyebrow in return. “so, if we were actually dating, do y’know what i’d be doing right now?”
“what?” you decide to humor him.
satoru’s demeanor completely changes at your question, going from pissed and flushed red to almost playful.
“this.” 
and just like that, satoru slips his slender fingers underneath the bottom of your dress and pulls it up, exposing your black, lacy panties. 
“gojo, what the—”
“shh, it’s all for the show,” he whispers teasingly, brushing one finger against the warm skin of your thigh. you involuntarily shiver from his touch, and against all rational impulse, find yourself wanting more.
in the acting community, satoru was well-known for being a stuck-up brat, and when you two had first announced your relationship, plenty of actors doubted it. after all, how could you, the classy it-girl of the movie industry, date an asshole like satoru? but even you were surprised at how easily people started to believe it when you two interacted in front of them. you’ve been told that you two had a rather unexpected burst of chemistry together, and that your relationship might actually make it.
what a shame.
satoru hooks his fingers underneath the waistband of your panties and tugs them down, raising an eyebrow when you don’t protest. he maintains eye contact with you as he slides your panties down your thighs, exposing your embarrassingly-wet cunt. satoru looks almost as surprised as you do at how soaked you are, even as he runs two fingers over your slit before sliding them in. you hate how good it feels—it’s been a while since you got a chance to sleep with another man, especially since you’ve been stuck with satoru for the past two weeks. 
“shit, you’re so fuckin’ wet,” satoru murmurs, scoffing in mild disbelief as he meets your eyes and smiles. he curls his fingers upwards, causing your thighs to reflexively close before satoru reopens them. “so, wanna explain, sweetheart?” he tsks, tapping your thigh with his other hand.
you make a face and look away, cheeks heating up the longer satoru waits for a response. “it’s probably from toji,” you snap back after a moment. satoru laughs sarcastically, shaking his head almost condescendingly and pulling out his fingers.
“nice try, hon,” he says sweetly, lifting his fingers to his mouth and licking off your slick in one smooth motion. satoru exhales heavily and swallows, taking his time in doing so. “want me to go grab toji to join us?” satoru asks, forcing a smile on his lips. “i’m sure he’d love to watch you beg—”
“shut it, gojo,” you interrupt, swatting away his hand, which somehow found its way back in between your thighs. “we have an award show to get to, there’s not enough time for this bullshi—”
that was a mistake. satoru instantly lifts you off the counter and, ignoring the rather wide range of curse words you throw at him, sets you on the ground and starts unzipping his pants. “shh, we got all the time in the world. they can’t give an award to someone who isn’t there, right?” satoru cooes, threading one of his hands through your hair and pulling you closer to him. his other hand finishes unzipping his pants, freeing his already-hard dick.
you look up at satoru, forcing yourself to act unimpressed—even though you know damn well he can see through your half-hearted attempt at hiding your real feelings. “s’ that all?” you ask, hating yourself for the crack in your voice when satoru laughs at you. 
“ah, i think it’ll be more than enough for your pretty face to handle. now c’mon, open nice n’ wide for me,” satoru instructs you, reaching down and tilting up your chin as he guides his dick into your mouth. against all rational impulse, you let him, all while glaring daggers at him from below. 
you run your tongue over his flushed red tip, and satoru sucks in a harsh breath, chest tensing as you continue kitten-licking him. his hand moves from your chin to the top of your head, and he pushes your mouth farther onto his dick, jaw tightening the more your tongue laps at him. 
sure, maybe you shouldn’t be sucking off your fake boyfriend in a bathroom where anyone could walk in at any time, but it’s the first time you’ve felt this way in too long, and you weren’t ready to let this feeling go just yet. so you humor satoru and moan, smiling when you feel the way his whole body loosen up at the soft vibration. “f-fuck, didn’t think you’d actually know how to give a man a good time,” satoru mutters through gritted teeth. 
“really?” you ask, pulling away from his dick for a moment to catch a breath. “we fucked for that movie, though, and you seemed pretty damn satisfied then, didn’t you?” you say in-between heaving breaths. satoru scoffs and shakes his head, pushing your mouth back onto his dick.
“yeah, but that was for a movie. this isn’t,” he clarifies, eyes fixed on the mix of spit and pre-cum dribbling down your chin as you continue sucking him off. “fuck, why are you good at this?” he hisses, almost incredulously—it’s as if he was hoping you wouldn’t be this good for him for some reason, but now’s not the time to reason through it or wonder what’s going on in his mind.
satoru shudders around you, and you feel the hair threaded through your hair tighten. it’s not enough to be painful, but his grip still makes you whine from the increased pressure. his breathing becomes more shallow as you run your tongue over his length, and his foot starts to bounce on the floor as he gets closer to cumming down your throat. “shit, baby, m’ close,” satoru confirms a moment later, tilting his chin back and glaring at the ceiling. 
“fuckin’ hell, i—” he cuts himself off with a loud, lengthy groan, pushing your head even farther on his dick and tensing as the full force of satoru’s orgasm hits him. he lets loose a flurry of curse words as he cums in your mouth, filling you up to the point where it starts dripping down the side of your face. it’s hot and salty, two sensations that you normally wouldn’t put together, but in this moment it’s all you can think about as you slide one hand downwards towards your throbbing pussy.
still reeling from his surprisingly quick orgasm, satoru leans back onto the counter and pants for air. as for you, you’re starting to want some of his pleasure for yourself—so you slip two fingers inside your cunt and pulse them back and forth, needy moans slipping out of your lips at every thrust. “gojo,” you call, looking up at him and licking his cum off your lips. the sight of you kneeling in front of him, cum dripping down your lips and fingers knuckle-deep in your cunt is enough for satoru to cum again, but he forces himself to maintain some level of control.
“jus’ call me satoru,” he murmurs, reaching down and tugging you up to your feet. it’s hard to stand while your legs are trembling, but thankfully, satoru does most of the work for you by positioning you against the wall, back facing him as he aligns his still-hard dick in front of your dripping pussy. “say it,” satoru mutters in your ear, resting one hand on your waist and the other on the wall just above your shoulder. “say my name f’me, sweetheart.”
“s-satoru,” you breathe, and a moment later, your fake boyfriend—who doesn’t feel so fake anymore—shoves himself inside of your welcoming cunt. you’re already wet enough to the point where he doesn’t really need to prep you at all, but you’re still just tight enough so that every thrust feels like he’s breaking you down in the best way possible. 
“y’feel so good,” satoru groans, resting his chin on your shoulder and snapping his hips back and forth, setting a steady yet harsh pace. you stutter out satoru’s name again and again as your vision goes blurry, with your only thoughts revolving around the dick shoved up inside you and the man praising you in your ear. 
satoru curses when he feels your walls clench around him, breaths growing shallower with every thrust. “arch your back for me, princess,” he mutters, eyes fluttering rapidly as he squeezes your waist. “yeah, jus’ like that,” satoru praises, breath brushing against the side of your face as he continues thrusting into you. “how’re you feeling, pretty? s’ this all right with you?”
you nod shakily in response, swollen lips hanging wide open as you gasp for air. satoru clicks his tongue and slows his pace, dipping his chin and studying your face. “gonna need you to use your words, angel.”
“m' good, i wanna cum,” you mumble, a loud moan slipping through your lips when satoru laughs and resumes fucking you a millisecond after you answer. 
“i’m gonna fill you up, baby, i promise,” satoru whispers, and his words are barely audible over the lewd, sticky sounds coming from everywhere. all your senses are directed at satoru—the man you really shouldn’t be fucking right now, but all your inhibitions fade away as you feel your stomach start to tighten as you approach your orgasm.
“fuck, satoru, m’ close,” you whimper, arching your back even more and clenching your teeth shut. satoru sucks in a sharp breath as he confirms that he’s also about to cum, and his thrusts grow sloppier the closer he gets. “don’t stop, please, i—”
from there on, your words mix themselves together, with the only understandable word being satoru’s name. your fake boyfriend spills into you first, cum leaking from his tip and mixing with yours as you both chase your releases. and it hits you hard—if it wasn’t for satoru, you would’ve crumbled to the ground from the sheer force of your orgasm. all you can see is white as satoru finishes emptying his load inside of you, and the sticky, viscous liquid trails down the warm skin of your thighs as it overflows from your abused hole.
“shit,” satoru mutters, stumbling backwards and eyeing his now-soiled clothes. “this was a couple thousand dollars, damn it.”
you exhale a breathy laugh and turn around, leaning against the wall and meeting his half-lidded eyes. “you kidding? my dress was way more than that, and there’s no way i can wear that out now.”
satoru grins, running a hand through his ruffled hair and walking back towards you, touching your waist and sliding a finger over your dripping cunt. “you were so good f’me, baby. what were we arguing about again?”
“i have no idea,” you mumble, watching satoru lick his finger clean. he’s shameless—even as clarity returns to both of your minds, he still insists on dragging the moment on. not that you mind—that was the best sex you’d had in a while, even if it was too fast and in a bathroom.
“we should get back to the ceremony,” you say distractedly, pulling down your dress and frowning at the new wrinkles. “can i wear your suitjacket? i don’t want people to see this.”
satoru sticks out his bottom lip and pouts, looking you up and down. “but i like it. you look like you just got fucked by a really hot guy. oh, wait, that’s me!”
“you’re an asshole.”
before satoru can reply, the bathroom door opens, and you both jump out of your skins. thankfully, satoru had time to pull his pants on, otherwise it would’ve been significantly more embarrassing. suguru pokes his head in the bathroom and rolls his eyes when he sees you and satoru, and an exasperated sigh slips out of his lips when he sees your fucked-out states. 
“are you two seriously fucking during the awards?” suguru snaps, amber eyes glittering with dry amusement. you look away bashfully, tugging down your dress even farther out of embarrassment. satoru shrugs nonchalantly and walks over to suguru, offering his hand in search of a fistbump. 
suguru eyes him dubiously and crosses his arms. “did you wash your hands?”
“heh, no, not yet.”
ignoring satoru’s smug grin, suguru swats his arm away with the back of his hand, disgust evident all over his face. “gross, fuck off.” he turns to you and arches an eyebrow, looking you up and down disapprovingly. “you two should clean up before coming outside, otherwise they’ll probably take away your awards,” suguru adds, wrinkling his nose. “i’ll tell them you’re on your way.” 
“okay, thanks,” you mutter, face warmer than ever. suguru nods in response and leaves, and when you and satoru finally return to the awards ceremony, there’s plenty of whispers about you two, and most of them aren’t very family-friendly.
well, at the very least, nobody’s gonna doubt that you two were a couple now!
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heirofnight · 17 days
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it's the shadows, pt. 2
pairing: azriel x reader
word count: 4.9k
summary: after a drunken night with your bffs rhys, cassian, and azriel - one where you'd admitted to thinking azriel would be the most capable in bed (and az admitted to using his shadows on his partners lol) - the inner circle takes a vacation to a secluded cabin in the woods. and azriel's main goal is to show you what his shadows can actually do in the bedroom. part two of it's the shadows.
warnings: this is smut ok. pure smut. p in v smut. shadow smut. read at your own risk, ok.
a/n: OK highly requested part 2 to this series. first time publishing smut, pls be nice. but let me know what you think!!! enjoy <3
read part one here
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azriel had a deep, dark secret.
a tidbit of information that he'd tried his best to ignore for the first several years after initially meeting you. now, he was far passed the point of acting as though it didn't exist - like it didn't drive him insane.
how could he? when you looked at him like that, when you made him laugh like that, when you'd outwardly flirt with him like that, when you'd all but crawled into his lap in the sitting room after he'd admitted to utilizing his shadows in less than innocent ways.
no, azriel was truly fucked, and his dirty little secret was threatening to crawl its way up his throat and launch itself from his lips.
he wanted you, bad.
since that drunken night a couple of weeks ago, azriel's want need for you had multiplied, had split in half and quadrupled and was now flowing through his veins as if it were his own blood. his brain was foggy, he was distracted, and all he could think about was you: your voice, your smile, your laughter, your lips, your scent. gods, your scent.
he felt like a lost puppy, trailing after you as though you'd lead him to salvation.
that salvation just happened to be between your thighs.
he'd become more in tune with you, your daily routine. he somehow was now able to pick up on your lingering scent, even if you'd left your preoccupied space hours earlier. he'd known you were there. and he'd sought you out in every situation he could. he longed to be next to you. during breakfast, dinner. during any meeting rhysand held that involved the entire family. while you baked in the kitchen alongside nuala and cerridwen - he was there. glued to your side.
he'd wondered if you'd noticed. the two of you were close to begin with, so perhaps you hadn't picked up on his increased attachment. regardless, you didn't seem to mind.
he'd picked up on your heartbeat changing when he drew near, and one time, he'd made a risky move - grazing your knee under the dinner table with a firm, scarred hand. he'd definitely noticed the change in your scent then - the aroma of your sweet arousal enveloped him almost immediately. he'd had to excuse himself from the meal earlier than normal after that.
he'd almost lost his shit and devoured you on the dinner table in front of his entire family, instead.
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so when rhysand had declared that the entire family would be taking a weekend vacation, azriel's heart had almost torn through his chest. he'd get to be even closer to you, in a secluded location, with uninterrupted proximity.
rhys had recently purchased a gorgeous cabin on the opposite side of the city - it was perched on a high hill within the forest, and boasted views of the snowy mountain ranges that stood proudly alongside velaris.
the term cabin was a stretch - while the vacation home was a wooden structure, immensely cozy, and had cabin-like interior design, it was definitely on the more luxurious side. which came to no surprise, since it was rhysand's purchase, and the male loved extravagant things.
regardless, it was perfect. and azriel couldn't wait to take advantage of this much-needed vacation - one that included you, and an opportunity to get you alone.
you were obviously interested, he knew that. you'd alluded to it for years. and after he let it slip that he often let his shadows loose while bedding his partners, you'd fought to reign in your composure.
what he didn't know, though, was whether or not you were interested in him. beyond a sexual escapade. beyond two friends who were attracted to each other acting on impulse. actually interested - in loving him, all of him, and allowing him to do the same.
because that was azriel's deep, dark secret: he was in too deep, was falling over himself for you.
however, if sex was all you wanted, azriel would comply. he'd have you in any way that you'd allow, and he'd be damned sure to worship you in ways that would leave you absolutely ruined.
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you'd all arrived to the cabin as dusk was painting the sky in pinks and oranges. his family shuffled through the large wooden front doors, and azriel felt the tension and stress escaping from each of his friend's tightly-wound muscles as though they'd left the qualms of reality outside in the snow.
not azriel's, though. his pent-up tension could only be released in one way in particular.
you'd set your bags down in the threshold of the designated living space, your head on a swivel as you peered upward - taking in the surroundings of the opulent cabin.
"this is why i'm friends with you, rhys," you'd joked, pushing your hair over your shoulders, "the perks are just too spectacular to pass up," you laughed this breathy little laugh, and azriel felt his spine tingle at the sound.
rhys chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest as he regarded you, "careful, y/n," he tutted, his violet eyes watching cassian as he began to fumble with the large fireplace in the corner of the room, "before i use my other high lord perks to order you to sleep in a tent outside," he bantered, raising his eyebrows in silent challenge.
you placed a dainty hand to your chest in mock offense, shuffling closer to azriel for protection. "you would never," you balked, spine straightening, "az would never let that happen, right, az?," you turned towards the shadowsinger, giving him a look of pure innocence.
azriel faltered for a moment as he met your gaze, but he caught himself quickly. "right, sweet," he almost cooed, using that nickname that set your heart running at full-speed. he reached out to place a hand on your shoulder in solidarity, turning towards rhys. the high lord was watching you both with a look of pure, knowing amusement.
"well, lucky for you two lovebirds," rhys began, pointer finger gesturing to the snowy evening beyond the large glass windows, "the tent in question is big enough for two," he waggled his dark eyebrows, huffing out a laugh.
azriel's cheeks tinted only slightly at his words, his mind immediately overcome with visions of all the compromising positions the two of you could end up in. alone. in a tent.
before az could fully recover from that revelation, you'd stunned him with your next statement.
"perfect, i'm sure az and i would have no issues keeping each other warm," you mused, voice low and playfully suggestive. you wrapped your hand around his large bicep then, hmphing quietly to drive your point home.
rhys barked out a laugh at your words, shaking his head before retreating to help a grumbling cassian with the fireplace.
azriel felt warm. too warm for the snowy environment you'd found yourselves in. your words set an inferno blazing within his chest and limbs. his instincts screamed at him to carry you to the nearest bed and have his way with you, once and for all. but instead, he cleared his throat, looking down at you with pink cheeks and ears.
you looked up at him expectantly, a sweet grin splitting your cheeks.
he heard you mention something about going to find your rooms, and he dazedly watched you grab your belongings before sauntering up the stairs. but azriel was frozen in place as if cassian had superglued his boots to the wooden floor.
he would not survive this trip.
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feyre and elain had provided dinner for all of you, and after taking your seats at the cozy dining table that looked over the snow-capped mountain range in the distance, you all began to eat. it was a peaceful, warm family dinner. everyone was so relaxed, so happy to be amongst the company of loved ones.
azriel had taken his usual place next to you, just as he always did. different environment, same habits. you'd smiled up at him as he took his seat, and he'd silently begun to fill your plate with food before worrying over his own.
you'd reached over as you realized what he was doing, placing a hand on his muscular thigh. "hey," you whispered affectionately, so only he could hear. "you don't have to do that," you smiled, meeting his gentle eyes with a sweet gaze of your own.
his skin was on fire at the contact you'd graced him with, and he gave you a small smirk.
"i want to," his deep, rough voice rasped. and you felt your stomach lurch at the tone.
and so, he served you. and you let him.
as dinner progressed, you'd found yourself absent-mindedly moving closer to azriel's side. at one point, you all giggled endlessly at an overly-animated cassian as he told a story from the past - and when you leaned into azriel in a fit of laughter, your head resting on his shoulder, he'd made a move. he'd wrapped his left arm around the back of your chair, around you. he'd pulled you further into his warm side. and then he'd reached down, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. you'd peered up at him then, eyes full of adoration.
he met your eyes, and although he couldn't see himself, he knew his honey gaze was reflecting the very same feeling.
his lips lowered then, whispering right against the shell of your ear, voice low, "which rooms did you choose?," he questioned, nodding his chin towards the floor above the both of you.
you smiled softly, whispering back, "the one right next to yours," he watched as your stare traveled between both of his eyes, down to his full lips, and back up to his steady gaze. his heart rammed against his ribs.
he reached over to your lap, rubbing a thumb along the back of your hand tenderly.
"just so you're aware, i always sleep with my door unlocked," he spoke against your ear once more, the statement laced with undertones you quickly picked up on.
you hummed against his cheek, pulling back to catch his eyes, "noted," you said pointedly, sending him a flirtatious wink through your long lashes.
he was sure, in that moment, that he needed you more than he needed his next breath of oxygen.
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hours later, azriel was sprawled on top of his bedding, eyes cast towards the ceiling.
the entire house had since made their way to their own rooms, settling in for the evening, and he briefly glanced over to the large windows that made up the entire left wall of his space.
the onyx sky looked like velvet, and azriel lost himself for a moment as he stared out at the smattering of stars that looked as though they'd been placed with precise care throughout the heavens.
the sound of a door clicking shut, followed by slippered feet tiptoeing from the next room over, broke through his distracted thoughts.
he immediately tensed up - it was you. this was actually happening.
the doorknob began to twist, the sound so quiet, he had to focus his eyes on the fixture to make sure he wasn't imagining things.
slowly, the door creaked open, and there you stood: in a black lace, silky nightgown that hit the tops of your thighs, your hair unbound and cascading down your chest, and a matching robe haphazardly falling from your shoulders.
you looked ethereal.
azriel audibly swallowed, and he didn't even remember standing up and crossing the room in long strides, but when he blinked, you were standing right before him - all twinkling eyes and rosy cheeks.
you smirked up at him - you were so confident, so sure. he huffed out a small laugh, raking his eyes down your body in a way that was absolutely not subtle.
"well," you spoke quietly, cocking your head as you studied his expression curiously, "i have to say, azriel. it took you long enough," you scoffed playfully, stepping closer to him.
he hummed, placing scarred hands on your shoulders before slowly sliding them down your arms, your robe dropping to the floor as he did so.
"if you've been wanting this as badly as i have, why didn't you just tell me?," he whispered, voice sultry as his hands traveled down your skin.
you pursed your lips, standing on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck. it all felt so familiar, so normal. as if you'd both done this song and dance countless times before. the way the both of you intertwined and came together so effortlessly had azriel's head spinning.
finally, you spoke, "maybe i wanted to refrain long enough to see if you felt the same way," you considered, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck, "maybe i wanted to make you work for it," your voice lowered, looking up at him from under your lashes.
azriel felt his knees threaten to buckle, and he closed his eyes before releasing a long, slow breath. he had to take his time with you, he refused to lose control this quickly.
but gods, you were making it hard.
and you knew it, too. you'd set your sights on breaking him down bit by bit, thrilled by the prospect of seeing cold, stoic azriel shadowsinger lose every bit of his composure at the hands of lust.
you preened, nipping and kitten-licking along his jaw so slowly, azriel began to feel dizzy.
"enough," he commanded, voice hoarse. he removed your hands from where they were hooked around his neck, holding your wrists together with one large hand.
"enough," he repeated, eyes darkening. "you've driven me absolutely insane for years, y/n," he spoke, voice made of gravel. "how amusing was it, hm?," he pushed you towards his bed slowly, each step punctuating his words, "to drive me mad the way you have, on purpose," he spat.
your knees hit the back of his mattress, and before you knew it, you were spread out on top of his soft sheets. you let out the tiniest whimper, a noise so obscene, azriel almost groaned out loud.
he sent a tendril of shadows darting towards your body, watching closely as they bound your hands together, resembling handcuffs made of smoke.
you grinned unabashedly at the sight, your eyes flicking from your hands and back up to his hardened gaze, "you really do use them, then," you stated, referring to the inky strands that were engulfing his body.
he looked like the angel of death coming to claim you.
he grinned at this, a sight that would be terrifying if it weren't so damned sexy.
"oh, sweet," he ground out, lowering himself over you so that his hands were braced on each side of your head, "you have no idea," his voice was low and full of carnal promise.
your breath hitched as his words, and you watched as he sent another tendril towards your throat. it wrapped around your neck effortlessly, much like it had that one drunken night several weeks ago. but this time, you knew the circumstances were different.
"i cannot wait to worship you," he drawled, eyes dragging down your lithe body. you could see the lust swirling within his gaze - his pupils were blown, his breathing was ragged.
you breathed out a moan of pure need, and his eyes snapped back up to your face. another shadow darted from his side, slowly working the straps of your nightgown down your shoulders. the same shadow pulled the silken garment down until your breasts were fully revealed to him - your nipples already painfully hard.
you needed him to touch you. somewhere, anywhere.
he let out a quiet grunt at the sight of you, reveling in you being laid bare for him.
"fuck," he grumbled, voice already hoarse with need.
leaning down, he wasted no time in sucking your left breast into his warm mouth, lavishing your nipple with licks, and sucks, and small bites. you began to writhe beneath him, and that's when azriel learned just how much you loved to have your nipples played with. breathy moans tumbled from your lips, and azriel almost lost his shit at the sound.
he began to slowly grind his still-clothed lower half against the edge of the mattress, low, erotic groans trickling up his throat and falling from his mouth as his tongue continued its ministrations. he'd glance up at you every now and then, and every time he caught the look on your face - mouth agape and eyes twisted shut in pleasure, he'd have to drag his aching cock even harder against the bed beneath him.
just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any better than his mouth against your aching breast, azriel upped the ante.
you'd felt another strand of shadow dart towards your right nipple, it's cool, ghosted touch swirling around the sensitive skin.
"oh, gods", you moaned, your hips beginning to buck and grind against his lower stomach. the scent of your arousal had overtaken his senses, and his eyes rolled back each time he inhaled greedily - he couldn't get enough. you were everything, everywhere.
the shadow continued to flick and dance across your right nipple, pinching and twirling around and around, back and forth. you'd tilted your head back, and you knew you could climax from this feeling alone if azriel kept it up for much longer.
"now, now, sweet," he abruptly pulled back from your chest, halting his actions. the other shadow that was swirling across your nipple had darted back to its master's side, too.
you whined quietly, jerking your head forward to meet his stare in utter disappointment.
"don't be a brat," he tutted, biting at your nipple once more in reprimand. you arched your chest to meet his mouth eagerly, and he grinned wickedly at the action, a devastating dimple peeking through as he did so.
"i said i was going to worship you, my love," his deep voice sounded like pure sex, "and i intend to do so," he pulled your nightgown completely down your legs as he spoke, discarding it to the floor.
he returned to hovering over you, tugging your lower lip into your mouth greedily. he hummed at the taste of you, before he began pressing kisses down your throat, your chest, your stomach, and down to your thighs.
you moaned quietly, spreading your legs open for him, giving him space to ravish you as he pleased.
but azriel had other plans.
he pulled his shirt off over his head, wasting no time in completely discarding his own clothing.
his thick cock sprung proudly from the confines of his pants, already leaking from the tip. your eyes darkened at the sight, and you felt your pupils dilate as he absentmindedly wrapped his large hand around his length, squeezing once to offer himself some relief.
he let out a groan from deep in his throat as he did so, and he couldn't stop himself from pumping his fist once, twice.
"i won't be able to hold myself back from you for much longer," he confessed, his voice strained.
"then don't," you whispered, the feeling of pure lust so strong, it almost made you tremble.
"i want to watch for awhile first," he grunted, eyes traveling over the length of your naked body before him. he granted himself one more rough stroke of his cock, large veins bulging along the shaft.
your eyebrows knitted together, head spinning.
"watch?," you asked, eyes glued to the hand he'd wrapped around himself.
he smirked knowingly, watching as a lone tendril of shadow darted from his side to between your legs.
you barely had time to react, barely had time to catch your breath before azriel's shadow began absolutely torturing you, in the best way possible.
it swirled between your legs, running along your clit in counterclockwise motions that felt so good, you couldn't control the sound that left your mouth in response.
your head was thrown back against the mattress once more, breathy moans growing louder as you felt it slide inside of you, fucking into you as it continued to tease your clit. its cool sensation against the heat of your center made your thighs shake uncontrollably.
you felt your hands slide towards your chest, needing to touch yourself, play with your nipples. you longed for azriel's mouth to return to your skin, missing the feeling of his warm tongue against you.
you heard azriel tsk from where he stood in front of you, practicing as much restraint as he could muster. he'd continued to tease himself every now and then, when he absolutely couldn't help himself. he'd grip his cock firmly, squeezing once. or he'd slide a hand down his shaft roughly, his hand slick from his own precum.
before you could open your eyes to see why azriel had reprimanded you, you'd felt the cool brush of shadows against your wrists once more. they'd bound your arms together, holding them above your head.
you whined, writhing as the shadow between your legs continued to drive you to the edge. and azriel stood, watching, eyes heavy and cock throbbing.
"az, i can't-", you moaned out, breathing ragged. "i'm going to cu-", you started, but were cut off.
"no, you aren't," he spoke, stepping closer to you, "because you aren't allowed to," he strained, voice cold and rough.
a moan tumbled from deep in your throat, and you finally looked up to find his eyes once more. he stood right next to the edge of the bed, watching the shadow between your legs with such intensity, it forced a shiver to wrack through you.
"look at you," he mused, voice taking on a softer tone, "i haven't even touched you yet, fucked you yet," he grunted, squeezing his cock once more. "you've already made such a mess," he drawled, awestruck.
"i can't wait to feel you," he met your eyes as he spoke, and you felt yourself careening straight for the edge you were warned to stay away from.
"az," you moaned, trying to clench your thighs shut, but his strong hand reached down to force them apart. "you have to make it stop, i can't-," you whined helplessly.
he abruptly called his shadow back to his side once more, and you cried out in frustration at the absence of touch where you needed it the most.
"come here, sweet," he commanded, voice gentle. you sat up slowly, the shadow he'd adorned your neck with tightening ever-so-slightly as you did. it made you dizzy, but you did as you were told.
"put the tip in your mouth," he demanded, pushing his throbbing cock in your direction.
you did as instructed, wrapping your lips around the leaking tip eagerly. you gazed up at him from under your eyelashes, and a groan from deep within his chest tumbled from his lips.
"lick," he strained out, grabbing a fistful of your hair, tugging your mouth back.
you slowly stuck your tongue out, making a show of swirling your tongue around the head of his cock. your eyes rolled back erotically at the taste of him, and you flicked the tip of your tongue against him several times - trying your best to push the male to the point of losing his restraint.
it worked. azriel snapped.
a primal growl left his throat and before you knew it, you were pushed backwards on the mattress once more. he grabbed your thighs greedily, shoving them apart before aligning himself with your soaked entrance.
"i can't control myself with you, y/n," he whispered into your neck, sucking harshly against the skin, "i won't be able to be gentle," he warned, biting at your shoulder so hard, you could have sworn he broke skin.
"then don't," you repeated your earlier words back to him.
"when i've fantasized about this," you added, wrapping your legs around his strong waist, "i cum the hardest when i think about you fucking me," you whispered against his ear, lighting the fuse inside him that would cause him to explode - just like you wanted.
"fuck," he groaned, his movements becoming urgent as he reached down to line himself up with you once more. "fuck fuck fuck," he rushed out, and then he thrusted into you with one hard movement.
you both moaned in tandem, the feeling of him stretching you out one of pure bliss. azriel had to rest his forehead against your shoulder to prevent himself from absolutely losing himself, losing control. his whole body tensed in restraint, his hips bucking involuntarily as he tried to give you a moment to get used to his size.
and fuck, was he huge. pain sluiced through you, and he stilled his movements once he was wholly inside of you. your pussy clenched around him once, and he huffed out a breath against your skin.
"don't do that," he grunted, grabbing a fistful of sheets from where he was braced above you.
you smirked, the pain finally giving way to soul-shattering pleasure. you clenched around him again, on purpose this time. "or what?", you whispered into his ear, challenging him.
he growled, pulling out of you completely before he thrusted all the way back in roughly.
"brat," he sneered, and then he was completely unwound, fucking into you with no control over his movements.
moans left your mouth with no abandon, no concern for who may hear you in the surrounding rooms. you panted, whined, pleaded.
you said his name in breathy moans that often made azriel have to stop for several seconds, or else he'd end up finishing way too soon.
"fuck, you are divine, sweet," he grunted against your lips, his forehead resting on yours.
you moaned into his mouth, biting at his bottom lip.
at one point, he'd flipped you onto all fours, drilling into you from behind. that shadow around your neck tightened, another shadow holding your arms and wrists behind your back. you felt the edges of your vision blur as your pleasure continued to reach new heights.
azriel was so close, so, so close. this position had made you impossibly tighter. he used every ounce of control he could muster to last as long as possible, the feeling of you wrapped around him was euphoric. every single fantasy he'd had about you had never come close to this.
as he felt himself drawing nearer to that edge of no return, he pulled out of you momentarily. you groaned at the feeling of being empty, but he'd only smirked and lightly slapped your ass in response.
he sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling you onto his lap gently. you straddled him, and as you lowered yourself down, you took every inch of him with newfound ease - as if you were made to take his cock.
he grunted, watching himself disappear inside of you with blown out pupils. his skin was slick, his curls stuck to his forehead. he looked delicious, you couldn't tear your eyes away from him.
"you feel so fucking good, az," you said on a breath. a moan left your lips as you lifted yourself up slightly, just to slam back down against his lap.
he grabbed your hips, taking your nipple into his mouth greedily. "keep saying shit like that, y/n, and i'm going to fall in love with you," he mused, grinding his hips against yours.
you moaned out his name, grinding your own hips down to meet his.
"oh yeah?," you urged, grabbing his shoulders as you began to ride him - swirling your hips as you bounced. "in that case, you look so, so pretty, az," you hummed, sucking onto his bottom lip, "so pretty when you fuck me," you nuzzled your nose against his, jutting your hips against his for emphasis. you reached up, daring to touch the top left corner of his flared wing, right in that spot that you knew would drive him wild.
azriel dug his hands into your hips, bucking wildly as he took over, fucking up into you from where he sat. he was always a sucker for praise, you knew that. and now, you were weaponizing it.
"fucking gods," he growled, his shadows encompassing you as they swirled through your hair, across your nipples, down your back and arms. the added sensation had you throwing your head back, meeting each rough thrust of his with your own.
your moans became almost constant, and he felt you growing even tighter around him as he became relentless with his movements. it was rough, his movements stuttering.
"let go for me, my love," he murmured, pressing kisses into every bit of skin he could reach. "i need to feel you," he urged, breathing ragged.
you nodded in response, pressing your forehead against his.
"my pretty y/n," he praised, licking your bottom lip messily.
and shortly after, you were coming undone around him, letting out a cry of his name that absolutely was heard by every member of the house.
azriel spilled into you, finally letting himself come completely unwound whenever he felt you pulsing around him. it seemed to never end, and he let out breathy whines and grunts as he rode his high, his cum leaking from between your legs in the most vulgar way.
you fell against him, the both of you breathing heavy. he wrapped his arms around you, then his wings, feeling so content and satisfied and whole.
and he was sure that he'd actually fallen in love with you.
"shit," you finally breathed out, completely exhausted.
"i knew you were the best in bed," you huffed out a laugh, resting your head in the crook of his neck.
azriel laughed, running a hand down the back of your hair affectionately.
"only for you," he whispered, kissing the side of your neck.
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a/n: ok so. i need a cold shower after this. pls let me know what you think, i'm half asleep and have never published smut. for all of you that wanted a part 2, i hope you liked it! i'm nervous. ok love u <3
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kimstills · 3 months
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pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader, platonic!spencer x reader summary: in which your close relationship with spencer makes aaron wonder if there’s something going on between you and the young doctor. content warnings: mentions of kidnappings, torture, child abuse (typical cm case stuff), insecurities, age gap, and haley, jealous!aaron (hb is DOWN BAD), he kind of acts like a prick in the middle of this? but it’s v brief and he apologizes!! hints of autistic!spence, angst if u squint but mostly fluff, miscommunication, technically idiots to lovers but hotch is the only idiot <3 word count: 5.1k (this was NOT supposed to be this long omfg) a/n: this was inspired by a dream i had where i was besties w reid and everyone thought i liked him until i had to blurt out that i was into older men… enjoy!!
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If looks could kill, Aaron was sure Spencer would be dead by now.
It was contradicting, in a way. How he thought of Spencer like the son that had come before his actual son, yet he was staring at him like a predator stalking their next victim.
You were standing next to the young genius, shoulders brushing against shoulders as you went back and forth with the geographical profile the two of you had been assigned to work on, something Aaron was really regretting having done.
The team had been called in to assist with a case in Portland, Maine, involving an abductor-type unsub. One who would stalk his victims and learn their routines before kidnapping them, torturing them for two to three days before disposing of them in forests and parks all throughout the city.
You and Reid were both tied when it came to your skills with geographical profiles, one of the many things that had blossomed your relationship with him. But with the way the unsub was beginning to rapidly devolve, the rush to develop said profile and figure out his next move had forced Aaron to assign you two together.
Deep down he knew that it had to be done for the sake of the case and all its victims, and that it was the best decision to make as leader of the team.
But, still, he couldn’t help the jealousy that was bubbling from within him, his gaze completely focused on the way you giggled and smiled, endeared, while watching Reid struggle to tape the map one of the sheriffs had supplied you with to a spare whiteboard in the office the team had been given to work in.
He hadn’t even noticed when JJ walked up to him, the blonde hair and white button up she was wearing apparently not enough to break him out of his trance until—
“Hotch.”
Aaron snaps his head towards her, blinking in bewilderment, “Sorry, what?”
JJ stares at him with a look of both concern and amusement, a smile tugging at her lips. Her hand is raised expectantly and her eyes flicker towards the case file in his hands.
He looks down at it, brows furrowing when he finally sees the death grip he was holding the paper with. It’s slightly crumpled from where his thumb had rested, the pages wrinkled.
He clears his throat, trying to soothe out the file as subtly and smoothly as he can before handing it to JJ, “Sorry,” he grumbled.
The blonde chuckles softly, taking it from him and doing her own best to bend it back into place. She begins to flip through the pages, though she can’t help but follow Aaron’s gaze back to you and Spencer.
You had finally gotten up to help him in taping up the map, taking it from his hands and effortlessly doing so before turning around and giving him a cheeky smile.
JJ turns her attention back to him, biting back a smug smile when she sees her boss practically glaring daggers at the two of you, “I assume you’re trying to figure them out, too?” She asks, looking down at the file.
Aaron blinks, this time slowly turning his head to gaze down at her, “What do you mean?”
Her eyes widen at the realization of what she just had insinuated about her co-workers to her boss. She shrugs coolly, trying to play it off, “Nothing. They’re just really close is all,” she gives him a tight-lipped smile before quickly walking away, leaving Aaron more confused than before.
He feels his fingers twitch by his side when he glances back at you. It’s cheesy, the way his heart skips a beat when you tuck the strands of hair that had made itself to the front of your face behind your ears. His hardened features soften at the sight of you laughing at something Reid’s said, something he’s sure only the two of you understand.
Aaron’s not sure what it was that had gotten him to stick out for you like a sore thumb or how his sudden infatuation with watching and admiring you and your every move had happened.
All he could recall was that it happened, and it had happened too fast for him to begin realizing how you had begun to overcome his every thought and consume him with feelings he hadn’t felt since Haley’s passing and his marriage with her.
A part of him had told himself that he wasn’t to blame; not only were you one of the best agents he had ever worked with, but you were the loveliest and wholesome of humans.
You had your rough days, everyone on the team understandably did, yet you never failed to meet people with kindness and patience, something else that Aaron wasn’t used to receiving when it came to his co-workers. And, as much as they loved him and he loved them, even his team members were prone to calling him ‘cold’ and ‘stoic.’
While you, on the other hand would always meet him with fond, bright smiles and greetings, never once avoiding his gaze or running the opposite direction as to ‘not get in his way’ like others did.
You were like the sun peeking out of the clouds after a dark and tremendous storm, shining on him with such warmth.
So, in the end, he couldn’t really help himself from falling for you. Or for even feeling childishly jealous when you were shining your warmth onto others.
Especially with someone who apparently the rest of the team suspected you of dating.
Perhaps he couldn’t blame Spencer for falling for you, too.
Everyone meant well, and Aaron knew he was also victim to cutting him off when the boy rambled, but you were the only one who truly listened to him. Who would interrupt him gently during urgent matters and let him continue after they were solved, and never made him feel inadequate.
He doesn’t know how he hadn’t seen it before now that JJ has mentioned it—too blindsided with his own feelings for you—but he begins to wonder, though, if there actually is something more between the two of you.
He likes to think that he begins playing close attention to your mannerism, body language, and shared interactions the two of you have throughout the entirety of the case because he has to. Now that it's been brought to his attention that two of his subordinates might be in a relationship, it's his job as Unit Chief to keep tabs.
So, he watches, when the whole team is sitting in the rectangular table, debriefing with one another and sharing ideas all whilst munching on take out food.
"So, we obviously know that the significance of the victim's being dumped in nature spots is important to this guy," Morgan explains, motioning his hand around the air as he goes on, "but could it be that he kidnaps and keeps his victims in similar spots, just somewhere more secluded?"
"Spencer and I were thinking that that could be a possibility," you say, stealing a fry off of said boy's take out plate, "Maybe he doesn't live in these same places, but he could be taking them to a hidden spot somewhere in the forests, something possibly hidden by debris, wood, or anything makeshift."
Spencer doesn't even blink as you continue to steal more neglected food off his plate, continuing to sort through pictures. Aaron could see Emily and Derek give each other a knowing, smug look through his peripheral.
He manages to swallow, the tip of his middle finger and thumb tapping against one another, "What else have you two come up with regarding the geographical profile?"
"Well, besides where he himself could be living or where he could keep his victims, the whole profile is scattered," Spencer answers this time, sliding the plate towards you as he sets down a picture of each victim with the name of the forests and parks they were found in written underneath. "The first two victims were dumped in a forest, the third in a park, and the fourth in another forest.."
As he goes on, you take advantage to continue eating, the way in which he had just let you eat off his plate despite his known phobia of germs not going unnoticed by everyone else.
If that one wasn't a sign, Aaron didn't know what else was.
*
With the geographical profile being all over the place, Aaron decides on pulling you away from the task the following day, instead pairing you up with him to check out the crime scene of the most recent victim.
He doesn't know if it's the leader in him doing so, pulling you away from your original project he had tasked you to do, or if it's just the mix of both curiosity and jealousy that continues to gnaw at him.
He was a grown man, for Christ's sake. Yet he couldn't help the way his heart churned when you hold his hand for a second longer than necessary after he helps you climb up the small, but frosty hill.
"Thanks," you mumble sweetly, your shoulders brushing against him as you walk past him and towards the await detectives.
Aaron trails behind you, trying to calm his beating heart as the lead detective on the case walks you both towards the victim's body.
"This is the second victim that's been dumped in a park," you start, squatting down to inspect the cuts and bruises on the woman's face. "These sites are obviously more public than the forests, yet he still leaves them in more secluded spots, away from general view."
"Well, we ruled out that he can't feel any remorse or sympathy," Aaron adds while he looks around the now closed off park. "He holds and tortures these women for hours."
You stand from your spot, placing your hands on your hips as you look around the park. Aaron recognizes the face you make as your 'thinking' face, your eyes squinted and your nose scrunched.
"What is it?" He asks, trying to meet your wandering gaze.
“Reid and I were talking about the possibility of the unsub dumping his victims in the same places where half—if not all—of his childhood abuse took place,” you miss the way his breath hitches in his throat and the way his shoulders sag slightly, continuing. “We know that he has to be a local here from Portland—probably raised around these same areas—and that he was abused severely as a child.”
Aaron tries his best to nod as nonchalantly as possible, “Something from his childhood obviously triggered him for him to start abducting and inflict the same pain on the victims before leaving them in similar places where he could have been left as a child after being abused.”
“Exactly,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. “We were theorizing around that idea for a while but weren’t too sure if the abuse could play such a huge part on his M.O.”
At the mentions of you and Reid again, Aaron couldn’t help but feel like an idiot.
Not only was he a grown man, but he was also your boss. And you were his subordinate, someone he should never had feelings for in the first place and someone he shouldn’t be feeling possessive over as if anything was to truly ever happen between you.
At first he had thought that Spencer wasn’t to blame for having the same feelings Aaron so strongly harbored for you. But, maybe, you weren’t the one to blame.
For falling for someone more your age, for someone you worked and paired so well with, for someone nobody else made such a grand effort to understand the way you did.
Not only was he a grown man and your boss, but he was also double your age, a single father, and a widower.
Swallowing harshly, he pulls out his phone from his suit’s inner pocket, “I’ll have Garcia check out any reported speculations of childhood abuse in these areas and see if she can narrow down our list,” He turns, using his height to his advantage and speeding off, leaving you completely behind.
You frown, rushing to catch up to him. You halt when you come to the same frosty hill he had helped you climb up and open your mouth to call for his help, but close it back up when you see he’s already made it back to the SUV and is climbing inside.
When you finally climb inside the car after successfully managing to climb down the hill without busting your ass, he’s talking with Garcia.
You wait patiently as he drives, the phone on speaker as he gives out quick orders that your friend rushes to catch up with. You try to take the chance of speaking up once he hangs up with her, but he’s quickly dialing for Rossi afterwards.
You’re quiet throughout the ride back to the precinct, the sudden change in mood too heavy for you to gather the courage to make any sort of conversation. Once parked in front of the building, he gets out right away, slamming the door while you’re barely unblocking your seatbelt.
You make a beeline to the conference room where you find Reid, no longer paying any mind on trying to find Aaron any longer.
Spencer jumps when you hurriedly slam the door behind you, eyes filling with worry when you lean against the wood and stare at the floor pensively, “You okay?” he asks.
“Fine,” you mumble, pushing yourself off the door and taking a seat across from him. “I just got back from the latest crime scene with Hotch and he started acting so weird after I told him about our theory of the unsub’s dumping pattern.”
“Weird how?”
You move to speak, but hesitate when you realize that going into detail about how cold your boss suddenly acted towards you after being used to receiving such kind—some might say preferable—treatment would make your friend speculate things he, of all people, did not need to speculate.
You shake your head, “Nothing. He’s probably just stressed or tired,” you drop your forehead onto the table’s cold wood, your arms stretched out in front of you. “I know I am.”
A beat of silence passes before you hear a creak and the feeling of a finger press against your index. You bite back a laugh, looking up to find Spencer leaning forward in his own seat to do a ‘finger touch,’ something you had come up with for him after realizing how persistent his germophobia was, even with the people he loved the most.
You smile at him, leaning your head on one of your forearms and pressing your finger into his.
From outside the glass-windowed office, Aaron watches you both, a solemn look on his face.
*
The case is finally closed once you and Spencer’s theory is proven right, the unsub securely put away and the green light to go home given at last. But with the late night icy weather too dangerous for the jet to take off, Aaron orders for everyone to instead turn in for the night at the hotel and head out first thing tomorrow morning instead.
He gives a silent thanks to no one in particular when he finds out it's his turn to have a room all for himself, the rotation always being cheated by Dave, Derek, or Emily that he always forgets who's next.
Shockingly enough, he's ready to turn in for the night, not even sparing an extra glance to any of the files he had brought with him as he prepares for bed. He's just about to sit down when a knock comes from behind his door, echoing throughout his room.
He lets out a quiet groan but stands nonetheless, rubbing tiredly at his face before swinging the door open. His first instinct is to snap at whoever's behind, but that's before his eyes cast over you.
You're fiddling with your fingers, dressed in your pajamas that consists of an off-the-shoulder shirt that dips low enough to show off your collarbone and the very top of your chest, your bra strap in the middle.
And, despite the chilly weather outside, you were wearing shorts. A pair of cotton shorts that peek out from underneath the shirt you were wearing and leave little to the imagination—more so, Aaron’s imagination.
Truth be told, he's seen you in a lot less. Your usual team outing outfits consisted of tank tops, baby tees, shorts, and slightly more revealing clothes.
But this, seeing you in what you would normally sleep in, sends him into a completely different spiral.
You cringe and immediately panic at the thought of having woken him up, "Sorry, were you already asleep?" you ask, taking a tentative step back.
Aaron blinks and clears his throat, the pads of his thumb and middle finger once again tapping against one another, "No," He lies. "I was barely getting ready."
Your shoulders drop and the panic dissipates as a small smile replaces it, “Oh, okay,” you bring your hands behind your back, rocking on your heels, “I just wanted to talk to you. If that’s alright?”
Aaron’s brows furrow though he immediately steps to the side to allow you in, a soft ‘of course’ following.
He takes in the way you hesitantly step in, back facing him and arms still intertwined behind your back.
You’re being respectful, probably hoping that you’re not overstepping with whatever it is that you want to talk about. And though you always are, he can’t tell if you’re nervous, worried, or filled with insomnia that you just couldn’t sleep.
“Is everything alright?” He finally asks when you don’t make a move to sit down anywhere, his hands slightly ajar to his side like he’s ready to reach out and touch you.
God, how he wishes he could touch you.
You clear your throat and turn around, “Actually, I was just coming to ask you the same thing,”
The harsh lines on Aaron’s face deepen when you take a seat on the edge of the bed, glancing beside you as a signal for him to join you.
He swallows as he does so, careful not to sit too close and award you space. His eyes flicker back up at you when he hears your breath hitch.
Seconds of silence pass before you shuffle closer to him, bringing your body forward so that you were staring at him directly.
“Are you… feeling okay?”
Aaron freezes, his movements completely stilling at your question. His mind begins to race with all the possibilities of what could have brought on your question when it clicks.
How he had concurred that you and him were completely different and could never be a possibility, and how he immediately decided that acting cold towards you would shun out the feelings he’s felt for so long now.
Another clear of his throat, he replies, “I’m fine.”
You raise a brow at him, giving him a look that shows that you know he’s not telling the truth.
“Are you sure?” you ask again, this time more firmly. “I don’t mean to overstep, but you’ve been acting rather…strange ever since you and I got back from the fifth victim’s crime scene.”
Aaron cringes at how your expression turns into a sad one, quickly masking it with one of concern afterwards.
He sighs. He supposes that if there’s a possibility that you and Spencer are dating, now’s the time to ask you about it.
He makes a show of staring directly at you in the same way he does when he’s in his ‘boss mode,’ trying to study your face before he asks the question, “Is there something I should know about you and Spencer?”
That wasn’t what you were expecting.
You’re taken aback, quite literally flinching as if you had been struck. It takes you a few seconds to take in what he’s just asked you, and you shake your head almost as if it wasn’t real.
“I’m sorry?”
The desperation gnaws at him once more, and he’s not sure which side of him wants to find out the answer.
“Are you and Spencer dating?” he asks again, voice somehow unwaveringly calm as he punctuates each word clearly.
Your mouth opens in shock, letting out a sound that’s half a scoff half a broken laugh. You look around the room in utter bewilderment.
“What correlation does my relationship with Spencer have with what I asked you?” You can’t tell if you’re angry or just confused, but you stand from the bed and stare down at him.
Aaron follows your lead, “I never noticed it before until the rest of the team pointed it out, but you two are close. Close in such a way that—” He swallows, “—as your boss, I have to ask.”
Before the rest of the team pointed it out. Of course.
You fully scoff this time, “As my boss, you should know that Spencer and I have always been close,” you concur.
“Then why can’t you look at me?”
Despite your heart hammering in your chest, you force yourself to look at him, “Excuse me?”
“You’re not looking at me, you’re getting defensive, and you’re practically avoiding the question,” he says, his own gaze practically boring into you.
“Hotch—”
“You’re deflecting by saying that I should know that you two have always been close, and while I do know that, you’re still not answering my question.”
It feels cruel of him to press you for answers like this, knowing that there was an easier way to do it.
“Reid and I are not dating!” you do your best to not shout it at him in fears of waking the rest of the team up, fists balled at your sides.
“Then why are you so nervous?” he asks, taking a step closer to you. “Why can’t you still look at me?”
“Because it’s you that I like!”
You slap your hands over your mouth immediately and the room falls silent.
Aaron blinks. Once, twice, three times.
You liked him?
You lower your hands, nervously brushing your hair behind your ears as you look around the room in a state of panic, “I-I’m just going to go,” you mumble and immediately rush towards the door.
Aaron stands the for a second, too frozen to do or say anything before his own panic settles in brazenly. His body moves before he has time to register what he's doing and what he'll do when he reaches you.
He wraps an arm around your forearm just as you open the door, halting you from stepping outside, "Y/N, wait,"
"Hotch, please," you're quick to try and release yourself from his grasp, yanking your arm towards yourself in what results as a poor attempt. "Just ignore what I said."
"I can't do that," he dips his head to try and get you to look at him but you simply avoid your gaze even more than your originally had, your cheeks flushed.
"Hotch, let me go!" you whisper-shout, once more fighting his grip. “I’m already embarrassed enough, I don’t need you chastising me anymore.”
“I’m not chastising you, Y/N,” Aaron’s sure he sounds as desperate as you probably feel, but he can’t find it in himself to let you go and ruin his one chance of bringing his feelings to the light. Even if it went against everything he had been telling himself earlier that week.
“Do you not think it’s possible for me to feel the same way?”
Your head snaps towards him, your movements suddenly rigid at his question, “W-What?”
You’re sure that, if your heart hadn’t raptured beforehand, it certainly will now.
Aaron takes you letting your guard down as the chance to bring a hand to your waist and pull you back into the room, shutting the door and thanking that nobody else from the team had emerged from the commotion.
“What do you mean by that?” you’re quick to ask, staring up at him with curious, yet hopeful eyes.
He lowers his head as to avoid your gaze this time, letting out a deep breath. Everything he wanted to do now went against everything he had told himself the day before, when he ridiculed himself for ever thinking that you would like someone such as him or that something could ever happen between you two.
“Hotch,” your voice is firm and you allow yourself to take a step closer to him. You need him to look at you, to give you some sort of clue that he didn’t just say what he said to play you, to get you to re-enter the room just so he could profile you even more. “What do you mean by that?”
Repeating your question doesn’t help him and it certainly doesn’t help the way his heart hammers in his chest, a sound so loud that he’s sure you can hear it from how close you’re standing.
“You like me?” you whisper, dipping your head to try and meet his eyes. How ironic that just a couple of seconds ago you were trying to avoid it.
Aaron shrugs, finally looking up, “How could I not?”
His boyish, yet vulnerable expression makes your breath hitch.
“I said that I had to know if there was something between you and Reid as your boss, but it was just because I was jealous,” he shakes his head, trying his best to suppress an all but amused smile. “It was immature of me, really.”
You shake your head, trying to collect both your own thoughts and everything he was telling you. He had been jealous?
“So, is that you acted that way after I told you about our theory in the park?”
The way in which he left you behind in both the park and in the parking lot of the precinct hits him like a brick, cringing at his actions, "I realized then, when you were talking about what you had both come up with, how compatible you two are. How it would make more sense for you to like someone more suited for you. I'm sorry for how I acted,"
Your heart breaks at hearing his confession, of how he, the same man you practically fell head over heels for after your first meeting, could think that he was unworthy of your attention. If you were being honest, you hadn't been hurt by the way he had acted earlier in the day, only confused as to why.
"Hotch--" you stop yourself. You take another step closer, closing the space between the both of you more and more. "Aaron,"
He snaps his head up at your usage of his first name, the way you said it so gently and naturally getting all his attention.
"I've liked you ever since I first met you," you confess. "I'll admit I was too intimidated by you to fully register what I was feeling, but the more I got to know you, the harder I began to fall. And I fell really hard," you let out a laugh, trying to ignore just how much you were putting on the line right now and how self-conscious you felt with his eyes boring into you.
"You've been with the BAU for three years," Aaron's voice is barely above a breathless murmur and he's sure you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't standing so close. "That's how long you've liked me for?"
You nod, lips pursed, "I never said anything because I thought you would never see me that way, let alone reciprocate my feelings. If I'm telling the truth, I wouldn't have said anything if it weren't for you pressing me into telling you that I was dating Reid."
Aaron smirks despite the warmth he feels on his cheeks, shrugging his shoulders and letting out a soft laugh, "Well, then I'm glad I ended up asking. Who knows how many more years we would've gone like this if I hadn't."
You both laugh, subconsciously curling towards each other when you both double over and bring yourselves even closer than before.
You stare up at him with a warm expression before casting your eyes downwards. You lift your hand to linger above his, the pads of your fingers brushing against the hairs on the back of his palm, "So, what happens now?"
Without breaking eye contact, he takes your hand in his while the other reaches for your waist once more. You let out a small yelp when he pulls you even closer, your bodies now touching and radiating the warmth you both thought you’d never be able to feel from one another.
The next few seconds are filled with bliss when he lowers his head to press his lips against yours. You’re immediately weak, letting go off his hand to place both on his shoulders as to support yourself.
The other now free hand of his comes to rest on your other hip, fingers digging into the fabric of your shorts ever so possessively. A whimper escapes from your mouth and Aaron takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, doing so with so much fervor and passion that it leaves you feeling dizzy even with your eyes closed.
Aaron is relentless even after you pull away to catch your breath, the act of kissing you now something he’s inevitably hooked on. He presses kisses all over your face, from your cheek to your chin to your jaw, then all the way down to your neck.
“You know,” you cough out, flushed from the attention, “I told you how long I’ve liked you, but you didn’t tell me how long you’ve liked me.”
Aaron smiles into your skin, immediately recalling when he first realized his own feelings for you. He lifts his head to press a sweet kiss to your lips, eliciting a hum from you.
“I can tell you all the details over either a nice dinner tomorrow evening after we land,” he says, another kiss to your lips. He turns your bodies around so that his back was to bed, the mattress dipping under his weight when he sits. “Or you can spend the night here and we can stay up all night talking about it.”
His voice is sultry, and the way in which he grabs at your hips to get you to straddle him makes you flush.
“Are you already trying to seduce me?” you ask, mock offense in your tone though you happily take your guided seat on his lap, both knees on each side of his thighs.
Aaron hums this time, brushing your hair back to begin kissing at your neck again, “Can you blame me?”
He already knows your answer, he’s sure. He knows you can’t, because he can’t, either.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 3 months
Text
the bosses daughter part one
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words: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, male and female receiving oral, p in v sex, unprotected sex, semi public sex, golfer!rafe
part one / part two
“who is that?” rafe asks, leaning forward to get a better view of the ponytail that's swishing through a sea of polo shirts.
“bosses daughter.” his coworker quickly warns. “don't even acknowledge her of he'll fire your ass.”
rafe doesn't take the threat too seriously. he's mostly just working to please his dad and show ward that he can commit to something, even if it is just teaching golf lessons twice a week.
“she's hot though.” he argues back, eyes moving down your back to the short golf skirt covering your ass, accentuated by your thick thighs.
“which is why she'll never go for you anyways.” despite his coworkers jokes, he's got it all wrong.
“why hello.” you smile, walking up to rafe a while later, when he's out away from the central club and warming up with some swings. “i don't think we've met before. im y/n.”
“rafe.” he answers happily, finishing the last ball of the line off with a powerful swing that you both watch go sailing through the air. “pleasure to meet you.”
“you haven't been working here long.” you state. “im sure i would have remembered you.”
“oh yeah?” rafe smirks. “and why's that?”
your cheeks tinge with blush but it doesn't stop your tongue. “you're just my type. i already remember all the cute golf guys.”
“all of them?” rafe raises his eyebrows. “you're already making me jealous, princess.”
“well, if it makes you feel better you're the one i left the club to find.” you hum out, leaning your hip against his golf cart.
“and it would make me feel even better if you found me again after my lesson.” rafe looks at the 10 year old he's been teaching as he trods through the grass. “don't want your dad to get mad about me missing a lesson, though i would for you gorgeous.”
you smile, biting your tongue to stop yourself from continuing to flirt as the mother of the young golfer crests the hill. you watch the lesson for a few minutes before retreating back to the country club.
“any of the guys giving you shit, y/n?” your dad calls as you enter into the bar area, of course sat chatting with a customer and longtime family friend, which was the category most of the clientele
fell into.
“nope.” you answer, popping your p. “i was just watching a lesson for a bit. cute little kid and the instructor was real nice. i think he's new.”
“rafe?” your dad raises his eyebrows and you don't miss his friend chuckling. “you stay away from him y/n.” he says sternly.
“ugh, you tell me to stay away from everyone dad.” you roll your eyes dramatically.
“exactly.” your dad says, giving you a pointed look. 
you give him a pout right back and leave the room, finding a quiet spot to scroll on your phone as you wait for time to pass, ready to not take your father's advice.
you figure rafes lesson must be over by now and make your way back outside, deciding to ditch the golf cart and go on foot looking for him. you make it only a short distance down the main path until you spot him.
“still jealous?” you question, sliding into the passenger seat of his golf cart. rafe instantly takes off, driving you slowly away from the centralized area.
“depends on what you were doing while i was teaching.” rafe hums out, a hand reaching over to place itself on your thigh, a still respectable distance for now.
“oh, just getting a lecture from my dad to stay away from you.”
“and yet here you are…” rafes hand inches higher. “letting me drive you away from the club.”
“hopefully to the most isolated spot…” you take rafes hand and move it upwards, guiding his fingers underneath your skirt, making your intentions blatantly obvious.
“as concealed as possible, yeah?” rafe asks, hand slipping between your thighs, pressing against your core as he begins to stroke softly. “not a fan of being watched?”
“not when everyone would run back to tell my father.” you chuckle before gasping as rafes fingers change their angle to rub directly against your clit.
“then your better keep a straight face while we drive past these guys.” rafe warns. your eyes blink open, you hadn't even realized that you closed them. 
you let out a soft moan as rafe presses further into your clit, knowing that the front of the golf cart is blocking their view of his hand underneath your skirt.
“come on, at least try to hide how good im making you feel.” rafe smirks at you as you attempt to straighten out your face as you drive by, thankfully the golfers are more interested in their game than whoever is speeding by.
rafe moves to a hole that's been taken off the course in favor for new builds, waiting for it to be revamped, meaning no one is likely to be around.
“behind the trees.” you point ahead at a patch of pines that should conceal you perfectly.
rafe pulls his hand from your pants as you let out a huff of disapproval, only for him to quickly put the car into park. 
you both jump at each other at the same time, lips finding lips as you straddle rafe, hands on his neck as you kiss him passionately.
rafes hands are now free to explore without worrying about wandering eyes, rubbing down your back before dropping to grip your ass from underneath the flap of your skirt.
you can't help yourself, needing the stimulation back on your clit as you push your hips down, grinding against rafes cock as you feel him stiffening and growing underneath you.
“wanna suck you off.” you tell rafe, sliding off his lap and onto the floor of the golf cart.
“hell fucking yeah.” rafe growls out, watching with anticipation as you reach for the zipper on his golf shorts, tugging at the metal until he lifts his hips to help you pull the khaki material down to his ankles.
your eyes crinkle with a smile as you see rafes length clearly pushing against the fabric of his underwear.
despite needing him desperately, you can't help but tease him as you press kisses from his base to the head of his cock, a small wet spot already forming.
your tongue pokes out to taste him, wetting the material even more until you can't take the barrier any longer and shove rafes underwear down, allowing his cock to spring out.
you open your mouth to tell rafe how big his cock is, when his hips surge forward and his hand comes to the back of your neck at the same time, pushing your head down onto his cock.
you gag at the sudden and unexpected intrusion, but the sound only seems to turn rafe on more as his cock twitches in your mouth.
you begin to start a steady rhythm, rafes hips raising to meet yours as you get used to the feeling of his length down your throat.
“fuck!” rafe groans out. “what a mouth you got on you.”
you try to resist the urge to smile, but rafe can still feel the sides of your mouth quirking up.
rafe pulls you by your hair, raising your face up to meet his as he smashes his lips against his, not caring that he can taste himself slightly under the overpowering flavor of your strawberry chapstick.
“need you.” rafe says, tugging on your hair again.
you move quickly, standing up with slightly wobbly knees as you pull your skirt and panties down in one smooth go.
“shit.” rafe groans, pussy right at his eye level. “need to do this first though.”
rafes chin forces your thighs further apart as you fall backwards, bum landing on the steering wheel while his mouth finds your cunt, tongue teasing your clit in wide circles as you wait for him to finally pass over the bundle of nerves.
just when you think that rafe isn't going to, his tongue flicks against your clit before latching around it, sucking harshly as he looks up, watching the way you moan out, still trying not to be too loud.
“ride me.” rafe says, pulling away, knowing he could eat your pussy forever but that you both don't have the luxury of time. certainly your dad would be getting suspicious of your absence soon.
rafe leans back, allowing you to straddle him again, knees pressing into the leathery seat material.
you reach down to take his cock in your hand by the base, lining him up with your entrance before sinking down with a moan falling from both of your lips.
“god, you're so warm and wet.” rafe moans out, eyes glossed over as he looks at you, both soaking in the moment of your bodies joined together before you start to move, hips rising up before falling quickly, pussy clenching around his cock with every movement.
“you feel perfect.” you tell rafe honestly, loving the way he hits that hidden sweet spot inside of you every single time without fail.
you place your hands on rafes chest, providing you some more stability as you speed up until you're bouncing up and down on his dick.
rafes hands find your hips, helping you move up and down the second you show any sign of fatigue.
“im- i don't know how much longer im going to last.” rafe warns. he wishes he could keep going, but with already having your mouth around him, he knows he's about to reach his limit. 
“touch my clit.” you command rafe, knowing that's all you need to reach your own high.
rafe listens to your demands instantly, thumb finding your clit as he places the pad over it, rubbing in quick circles, even concentrating enough to spell out the letters of his name onto your clit.
“f-fuck!” you squeal. “keep going!”
rafe begins to push his hips up to join you, both of you pushing your tired muscles as hard as you can, waiting to see who the first one will be to break.
your high breeches suddenly, back arching as you cum with a gasp of rafes name. you push yourself as deep onto rafes cock as you can, moaning when you feel him release, cum flooding your insides as you reach your highs simultaneously.
you fall forward as rafe gives a few more thrusts to help ride out your highs.
“shit.” you whine with a giggle as your face presses into rafes chest. “that was so fucking good.”
“honestly, i could stay like this forever.” rafe says, hand squeezing your ass.
“but…” 
“but your dad.”
“ugh.” you sit up, pushing a couple strands of hair off your face that are sticking to your sweaty forehead. “i hate that you're right.”
“but my next lesson is thursday.” rafe says as you carefully slide off his cock, knowing you need to redress immediately. “if you'd like to find me after that shift.”
“hm…” you sit back down next to rafe once you've got your skirt on, watching as he covers himself back up and makes himself presentable again. “i think i can do that.”
“promise you baby, you won't have to look too hard.” rafe pulls you into one last strong kiss before taking off back towards the club.
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dragonsfictavern · 8 months
Text
Beyond Desperation
Halsin Silverbough x Reader
a/n: Halsin and Astarion, my two main mans. I couldn’t not write something for Halsin. Some of the description may have gotten a little size kinky but dude is huge so it makes sense to me.
summary: After a particularly adrenaline endorsing fight ensues, Halsin needs desperately to feel close to you. His first course of action is to connect his body and soul with yours, replacing the aches of the fight with the aches of strenuous activities. Leading him to go a little bit overboard and apologize through vigorous after-care.
warning: MDNI 18+, p in v sex, biting, marking, body worship, light subspace, phenomenal after-care.
word count: 2.7k
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It was due to a planned attack that started all of this. You had been there of course, fighting by his side. He had been particularly looking forward to it all day, his energy levels high despite his calm demeanor. You could tell having learned to read his body language and all the other things he never needed to speak aloud. Halsin was itching to help and frankly, so were you. Both of you aiming to look out for the natural order of things.
But then something happened that you probably both should’ve expected. In his excitement, Halsin had gone a bit too wild for a first turn of attack. After that, it wasn’t much longer until the entire fight was over and you all had clearly won. The other guys, while having gotten a few good hits in, couldn’t last long compared to Halsin’s stamina.
Afterwards, he went right to you, still overwhelmingly pent up from the very underwhelming experience of a fight. Checking to make sure you weren’t seriously injured. His heading straight for you was growing to be somewhat of a common occurrence. You tried not to look into it or think too deeply about it. You knew the way in which he cared for others. But that didn’t stop your heart from warming that he came right for you when becoming aware of his need. That he trusted you to be able to take care of him.
Though right now you were starting to feel a strange kindred bond that your opponents had with him. That's to say you were beginning to fear you too didn’t have the stamina to match up with Halsin. Your nails dig into Halsin’s stomach, bringing out a low growl from him as he helps you ride him into another orgasm for you both.
Like clockwork a hoarse scream is ripped from your throat as Halsin brings you to another one of your countless rippling climaxes. Your orgasm coats his cock just as your walls spasm around him and he groans, his eyes clouded over in a lust-filled daze. The only thing on his mind is bringing you to your peak once again, desperate to feel the way you clench around him as he empties himself inside of you. Desperate to see and feel your body as he gives you pleasure. Even as a puddle of your combined release soaks into the bedroom sheets of the local inn.
Your body convulses as sharp prickles erupt over your body from his deep thrusts and the beginnings of overstimulation. A whimper moves past your lips as you sag against Halsin’s broad warm chest, exhaustion falling over you after hours of euphoric bliss.
“You’ve done so well for me, dove. I knew you would,” Halsin’s low gravelly voice whispers along the shell of your ear as he leans down to your height. Your body twitches as he continues rocking into you though you can tell he’s restraining himself. Holding back from taking you again so soon after such an intense orgasm. You whine, burying your face in his neck as your hands trail up his overheated skin till they wrap into his hair. Both of you feeling needy for touch right now. For closeness and connection. “Sh, sh, sh. I’ve got you.”
“More Halsin, please,” you croak out, lips brushing along his raging pulse. Your hips start to move with his and your jaw drops, feeling the burn as his thick girth continues to stretch and split you open. But Halsin’s hands are right there on your ass, pushing himself inside you. Your body warps into him, a long mewl leaving you. But just as you think it’s about to get so good again, Halsin’s hands tighten, keeping himself firmly planted in your walls.
“Relax, it’s alright. Take your time. I know you got one more in you and I’m not going anywhere,” Halsin’s voice is a low rumble that vibrates against your skin as he peppers kisses along your shoulder. Your body still shakes but you’re itching to move, to keep him stuffing you full of his cum till he forces it out with another healthy dose of it. You truly don’t know where your minds gone when you reach this place with him. The crown of his cock rests sweetly against your cervix and it only serves to drive you deeper into insanity.
“Don’t- don’t make me wait. I can’t and I know you can’t either. I know you need it and I can do this for you. I want to do this for you,” you beg earnestly as a light fog grows heavier in your mind and your arousal for him heightens. You know this’ll give Halsin peace of mind, you know it’ll calm him after the fight you all went through. You want nothing more than to give that to him. So you whisper the one thing you hope will push him over the edge. “Just let go.”
Halsin is frozen, keeping you frozen along with him. His forehead now resting heavily on your shoulder, his nose brushing along your collarbone as he inhales heavy amounts of your scent. Then with a final squeeze to your ass, he lifts you up his cock, only leaving in the tip before his hips snap harshly back up into you. You cry out, cunt fluttering around his cock to which it responds with a twitch. Your bodies having been molded and in sync to each others.
Your hands caress his ears in order to intensify his pleasure. You feel the rumble in his chest and you press closer to him. Using his hold on your bottom, Halsin moves you up and down on his dick with ease, starting you both at a hurried pace. Your jaw drops, teeth nicking the skin of his neck.
“You’re ok,” Halsin breathes out, his voice low. You can hear the way he inhales and exhales roughly, tiny grunts leaving him with every wet smack of your hips meeting. You can only respond with broken whines, eyes fluttering as you lean all your weight on his imposing yet comforting figure. Halsin is more than prepared to carry you through this as he fucks into you.
His hands grip your body tightly as he fights for control, not wanting to be more rough than you can handle. His nails lightly dig into your skin, breaking skin in a way that has you moaning as pricks of pain join in with the vast amounts of pleasure. You know it’s sure to leave a mark or two but you can’t help but want more. Something that won’t fade away in a day or two.
You writhe against Halsin’s body, wanting his cock to touch every depth inside you as he maintains his frenzied pace. Lifting his head from your shoulder, he maneuvers around in order to more easily trail his soft lips over your heated body. He follows a pathway down your neck, tongue teasing your shoulder. His back arches so he can continue on along your chest. You gasp as his teeth bite at you softly, making your body buzz and quiver. His lips seem unable to leave your skin. You note the way his body shakes, his breath mixing with his groans and coming out in short pants.
You moan as his nails sink in a little further. Head thrown back you bask in every sensation you’re greeted with. It’s only when Halsin’s lips pause just above your collarbone do some of your senses come back to you. Though it remains difficult as you feel as though your body is floating in an air of bliss.
“W-what?” You try to ask through your haze, but talking proves to be difficult as every single thrust is punching the air out of your lungs. You barely even register it as Halsin’s teeth sink deep into your flesh. You’re so consumed by pleasure the puncture feels like faint tingles that only increase your ecstasy. You cry out more from surprise than anything. Your hands hold onto his hair tightly as you keep him right there inside you. Now in every way.
Halsin, so caught up in the way your tight cunt sucks him in with every thrust, the warm wetness encompassing him, and your beautiful body welcoming everything he is, he couldn’t stop the overflowing emotions whirling around in his mind. Before he knew it his teeth were out and burying themselves in deep. He was going to take them out immediately— he was going to apologize. But then he felt you tug him closer.
So instead he finds his mind completely spinning. Every time he starts to lift you up his cock, his hips snap back up into you as if desperate to stay. You whimper, back arching unnaturally as you’re unable to escape a second of pleasure, not getting a moment of reprieve. His brutal pace is relentless as he jackhammers his way inside you. You squirm but it only has him pressing harder into your G-spot, causing a sharp choking noise to leave you from the shock.
Your body tenses as you can’t escape the intense sensations inflicted upon you. You try to open your mouth and express it but all that leaves is a long moan that only has Halsin start sucking at the skin around his mark, his teeth still embedded in you. Your stomach clenches painfully as your orgasm reaches higher and higher. Goosebumps spread across your skin like wildfire as you feel yourself burning from the inside out. That burning heat coming from the way his girth fills you, consumes you.
Halsin, having become attuned with your body, senses that you’re on the precipice of something magnificent. He doesn’t hesitate to slam your body back down on his dick and grind your clit roughly on the hair of his happy trail. You choke, your body jerking with violent force as the cord at the bottom of your belly snaps. A ringing echos in your ears and you can faintly hear your screaming beyond that as your climax crashes into you in waves, one right after the other as he doesn’t stop the stimulation on your clit.
A few moments later his teeth slip out of you as he goans from your clenching down on him. A few quick jerks of his hips and he’s emptying another load into your walls. You feel his cum flood through you, adding to the mix of busy sensations you’re experiencing. Yet this one has to be your favorite. Your body convulses uncontrollably and you feel a faint spark of worry as black spots suddenly surround your vision. You quickly call out Halsin’s name before you fall into darkness, your body going limp in his hold.
When you wake, you’re laying on the bed flat on your back. You wonder what woke you up and why you were asleep in the first place when a shocking texture brushes between your folds. You hiss, body jerking back. You look down just as Halsin’s head snaps up to look at you. Seeing a wet cloth in his hand and the tortured look in his eye has your memories flooding back to the front of your mind in an instant.
His gaze only lasts a moment before moving back down between your thighs. You see as that tortured look increases as his face twists. With a featherlight touch he cleans you up, being careful with the wet cloth as he wipes everything away. Your body aches but his soothing touch is enough to make you instantly relax back into the bed.
“Oh, Halsin,” you sigh, voice hoarse from your screams, watching as he avoids your gaze. Your limbs feel as though they weigh a million pounds, so all you can do is lay and watch as Halsin internally tortures himself over what just happened. Your heart flutters as he bends down, pressing soft apologetic kisses across your hips.
“Sweetheart, I am so sorry,” Halsin mumbles after a few long moments of silence. He grimaces, shaking his head as his eyes once again catch onto the forming bruises around your hips he’d just kissed. Looking away for a moment he puts some green paste he most likely made on his hands. He then leans forward, hands sliding over your bum and to the small puncture wounds from his nails. He makes sure to rub it in carefully to each mark. You wait until he’s finished and sitting back next to your legs.
“Halsin c’mere,” you call gently, loving the evident care shown from him while also needing you both need more. The air surrounding you is cold and empty as the fog is all but disappeared from your mind and you once again feel everything fully. You see Halsin hesitate, doing a double take to meet your gaze. Emotion rises in your chest and your voice cracks as you ask again. “Please, come here.”
His face twists in pain at the small break in your call. He doesn’t waste another moment before crawling up the length of his bed. Laying by your side he remains close while keeping a few inches of space between you. His eyes frantically move up and down your naked body, checking you over for what was probably the millionth time.
“How’re you feeling? Do you hurt? Did I hurt you?” He asks quietly, one question firing off as soon as he finishes asking the first. Finding your strength, you sluggishly lift an arm and cup his cheeks in order to bring his focus to your face. His cheek falls into your palm, soaking up your touch. “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” you say in an attempt to calm his guilty heart. But Halsin immediately scoffs, not buying that for a second. In the moment, it had briefly scared you. But you were ok. Now, more than anything, you wanted to laugh about how he’d made you feel so good your body gave out. Though you could see he wasn’t in the joking mood right now.
“You cannot say such things, sweetheart, look at you,” Halsin says, motioning a hand along your stiff body, eyes following it. That same hand carefully lands around your waist. He rubs his thumb in calming circles, bringing a warmth to spread through you. Guilt continues to radiate off of him and it hurts your heart to see. He closes his eyes, angling his head to kiss along your wrist and down your arm. “I lost control— that is far from ok,”
“I wanted to go again. I don’t regret it, even now,” you admit, thumb caressing his cheek. Both of you subconsciously working to soothe the other. Halsin’s eyes open and meet yours. You can see his emotions going haywire through the depth of his eyes. He feels so much and carries so much on his back. He’s incredibly strong but you want him to know he doesn’t have to carry it alone.
“I was reckless. It was my responsibility to take care of you, make sure I wasn’t too rough. Now look at you,” he murmurs against your skin as he continues his soft kisses. With your hand now free of his face, you wrap it back into his hair. Such a simple touch from him has your heart beating out of your chest.
“Look at me. You’re taking care of me perfectly,” you express, letting your emotion shine through to him. His soft eyes flicker up to look at you as his lips reach your shoulder. They now look the tiniest bit more forgiving than they did a moment ago. Without moving even an inch away, his arms slip around your body. He curls you into himself, fully encapsulating you within his form. You hum contently, curling your arms between your bodies and brushing along his smooth skin.
“And I won’t stop. Is there anything you need?” His face now right in front of yours and his body surrounding you completely, you feel a million times better. Comfort and safety solidify themselves within you. Your eyes look between his as you can see his full attention on you and anything you may need of him. Right now the idea of needing more seems impossible as you have everything you could ask for right here.
“Just this.”
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griffonsgrove · 8 months
Note
Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD
General Dating Headcanons | Vox
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a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!
fandom: Hazbin Hotel
wordcount: 1299
cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.
(PLATONIC):
Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.
However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.
When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 
You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 
You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??
You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.
You didn't care too much for the latter.
This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 
You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.
You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.
One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??
He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.
He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.
He def goes through your search history.
He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.
You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.
OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.
You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.
But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.
(ROMANTIC):
Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.
Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.
That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.
Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.
He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.
Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.
CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.
Insecure much?
Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.
Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.
You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.
You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 
Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.
Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.
Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?
He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.
He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.
He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.
He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.
And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.
If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)
The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.
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macfrog · 9 months
Text
sweet child o' mine | pt. ii
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hi. this is max's lawyer speaking. please don't get mad at her for this part. she asked me to let you know that she loves you all and hopes that you trust her. sincerely, jimmy mcgill
pairing: neighbor!joel x fem!reader
summary: you're pregnant with joel miller's kid. he's dating someone else. you deal with it.
warnings: reader is literally pregnant so typical pregnancy stuff like nausea (none of the v word, y'all are safe with me), ultrasound scene set in a hospital, anxiety and guilt surrounding pregnancy, description of body change/growth, brief and i mean brief discussion of abortion, joel is dating someone who isn't reader, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), reader has no physical description save for hair, cursing, genderless use of buddy when referring to baby, joel kisses someone who is not his partner, mention of alcohol, disturbing & semi-graphic nightmare about being involved in car accident, reader has a panic attack, discussion of dead parents, fluff and the beginnings of angst DISCLAIMER: this series covers some issues which i know may be sensitive and possibly triggering to some. warnings will always be as thorough as possible, but if there's ever anything you feel i've missed, please let me know. feel free to drop by my inbox anytime.
word count: 9.2k
pt. i / series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🩵
“I know, I know,” Joel holds a palm up, “it’s nine thirty. I know. But I had to lug all this wood over here, and it – You okay?”
You realize when he pauses that you’re gaping at him, wide-eyed and frozen in place behind your front door. Your jaw hinges shut, a gulp like carpet burn down your throat. You didn’t hear a word he just said.
How does he know? He can’t possibly. Did he sense it, from two lawns away? Dream about the binding of cells, the furnace left lit in your body from that night? The embers still floating, just waiting to catch to life again?
Did he do the fucking math, the way you probably should’ve? How does he fucking know?
The minute the question leaves your mouth, you regret it.
Joel’s eyebrows drop. “How did I know what, kid? That you need new closets? Like you ain’t been nipping my ear about ‘em for weeks?”
Your eyes unlock from his and shift to the slats of wood leaning against the balustrade. The toolbox hanging from his fist. The worn jeans and the white dust marks on his thighs. He doesn’t fucking know, you idiot.
Joel steps forward. Takes your wrist. One grounding, steady hand around your thrashing pulse. “You’re freaking me out. What the hell’s –?”
“Nothing,” you chirp, remembering. The closet. The deal. The fucking – the deal. You withdraw your arm. Hidden up your sleeve, quickly slipping out of his grasp, is the news that his life is about to change forever.
Maybe. You don’t fucking know.
“No,” you continue, blinking the burn of sunlight from your vision, “I just – I forgot. Sorry. Come in. Sorry.”
“Quit sayin’ sorry,” he mutters, eyeing you suspiciously. He lifts a foot and hovers it over the threshold, hesitating. Like the first step across a minefield; instinct telling him to tread carefully.
And you swear an oath to yourself, swear it on your own life: if he doesn’t put the heel of his boot in your hallway, if he turns around right now whether because his instinct is razor sharp, or because he forgot his lucky screwdriver, or purely because he needs to take a fucking leak before he gets started – you will never tell him. He will never know.
If his intuition is that good, he’ll turn around and never show up on your porch again. If he has any sense, he’ll forget any of this ever happened. Deal off.
“How’s the stomach?” Joel asks, sole still three inches from wood.
“What?” you bleat, your heel knocking against the bottom stair. It’s a little more panicked than you intended.
“Yesterday,” a crease forms between his brows, “you said you had a weird stomach. That any better?”
Oh, you think, and as you open your mouth to reply, his foot hits the ground. No answer needed. He was coming in whether you tried to deter him or not.
“Oh, yeah. It’s – Well, it’s better than it was. I think I worked it out,” you grimace, tongue curling under the tinge of anxiety and – well. “Thanks,” you add, noticing the brisk cut of your replies.
The heavy thud of his footsteps follows you upstairs, blunt on the carpet as you lead him up. Joel sets the toolbox down and casts your room a quick glance, snapping back to you as soon as you notice him.
You tug on the corner of the bedsheets, a heat bubbling beneath your cheeks. Something shy and self-conscious, all of a sudden. The reality that you don’t feel close enough to this man to share the anatomy of your room with him, mixed with the knowledge that the two of you are, now and forever, bound by the anatomy of something a little more significant than dirty laundry and dusty wardrobes.
A little closer than most humans get, let’s say.
“You want a coffee or something?” you ask, crossing your arms and leaning back against the window sill.
“You havin’ one?”
“Sure. Wait – actually –” Can you have coffee whilst pregnant? A woman at work quit it altogether when she fell pregnant with her son. Fuck. “I’m – No. I’m good. But let me go make you one.”
Joel shakes his head, amused. Screwdriver burrowing into a door hinge already. He flashes you a tickled grin. “I’m good just now, kid. Wait until you’re makin’ one. Thanks.”
You lift a shoulder. “Welcome.”
His eyes flit from the twist of silver to your hunched shoulders, your arms crossed protectively over your chest. “You gonna stand there ‘n watch me all day? You my foreman now?”
“Sure,” you reply, and he laughs. You sniff, twisting your foot into the carpet. The plastic test itches against your skin; you can feel the two lines ripping into your wrist like tiny burns. “I can go, if you want.”
His lip turns, musing. A quick flick of his jaw. “You’re good company, all in all.”
Metal clanking against metal; fingers knuckle-deep in the toolbox. You can hear the harsh sound across your body, like the point of screws and bite of rust are actually scoring your skin. The groan of a near-fifty-year-old man rising to rip a decades-old door from its home. The creak of wood as it splits.
Everything so heightened that it’s actually painful.
Joel straightens up and pauses, turning his screwdriver between his fingers. “Are we –? We’re good, right?”
“Good?”
“Yeah. You’d tell me if things were weird?”
“Why would things be weird?”
His answer scrawls itself across his face. Your response scoffs from your lips.
“I just,” Joel sighs, “I feel like something might be off with ya. Maybe you just ain’t feelin’ too hot. But you’re quiet.”
“Quiet,” you whisper, palms locking heavily against your biceps. More defensive than convincing.
“Yeah. You usually annoy the hell outta me.”
Over your shoulder, Alice Brown waddles down her driveway, eyeing her flowerbeds. She pauses when Diane’s station wagon pulls up across the street; stands motionless as she watches the round figure climb out and totter to her own front door.
“Just – not in a very annoying mood, I guess,” you offer, staring at the white head of hair fluttering in the breeze. The glint of a trowel in her hand.
Joel’s chin lifts. He studies you, tongue tracing the ridges of his teeth. And then he’s nearing you, turning until you’re shoulder to shoulder, two silhouettes stood against the bright square of blue sky inside your window frame. His arms crossed; his stare fixed.
The words begin to boil in your stomach. Violent bubbles against the wall of your midriff. Rising like steam, fading into nothingness over your tongue, the sting of heat where your voice won’t collect them.
Joel moves from foot to foot. It feels like some kind of merry dance, some choreographed moment between you – like a skit in a comedy show. I know something you don’t know.
“What happened – at the wedding,” he murmurs, addressing the polished gold of your bedframe.
Some small sound passes your lips. An affirmative. You’re on the same page.
“We didn’t use – you know. And with you not feelin’ well, it’s…” A deep breath. Chest full of a ghostly bravery. And then he asks, “Are you –?”
Silence swallows the end of his question whole. You didn’t need it, anyway. The stiffness of his frame, his stare shooting straight ahead. The lack of oxygen between you – both holding your breath for fear that something might tear loose from your lungs. He knows. He knows he knows he knows.
You gulp. “…If I was?”
His head cranes upwards, focusing on the cracked plaster of your ceiling. The realization slowly trickling down over his skin. It hasn’t seeped through, hasn’t bled into his brain yet. “Then,” another breath, “then it’d be a conversation…” His voice is halved, split somewhere between knowing and – what is it? Hoping?
Your eyes slip over to the worn sleeve of his T-shirt, stretched around the swell of his bicep; scaling up to his shoulder, the tight set of his jaw. He’s so much taller, he’s so much older. There’s so much life lived and so many lessons learned behind his eyes that you wonder how much the news I’m pregnant would actually crack him.
Your eyes meet. You whisper, “Then – talk,” and his expression softens.
He blinks away whatever’s left of his trying, his polite attempts to skirt around it. He sheds probably a good three decades – turns back into some doe-eyed boy, wonderstruck and terrified. His voice is quiet, and at the same time, the heaviest with emotion you’ve ever heard it. “Are you?” he asks, and immediately, he blurs behind a wall of tears.
Your sentence gets caught in your teeth. It made no sense to begin with. Tangled between your molars, latching at the back of your tongue. Your hand slowly pulls free from your sleeve, the little white test between your fingers.
Joel’s eyes instantly drop, staring at the pale stick with a fraught expression you understand to mean the message has finally reached his brain. The same words now ringing between his ears: She’s pregnant. She’s pregnant. I got her pregnant.
You hold the test out, quivering in the daylight. He takes it in his thumbs, instantly soothing its tremble. Everything muted, every movement steady and considered. And suddenly the sight of that positive test feels less scary, in his hands. Feels like a smaller problem, if that were ever possible.
And he says nothing, and it’s almost unbearable to watch the shape of his lips thin, the shadow beneath his brows darken. Agonizing to stand here and wonder what the next words over his tongue will be.
He stares at it a moment longer. You count the beats of your pulse in your throat. You wrap your arms tighter around your body, holding your skeleton together.
Joel’s lips part. Your breath freezes. Whatever he says, you don’t want to miss a syllable.
“Are you –” he blinks, “– are you feelin’ okay?”
You stare blankly. His eyes finally lift.
“What?”
“Are you feeling okay?”
Your head jerks. “I’m – I’m fine. I mean, I’m fucking shocked.”
He nods. “How long have you known?”
“Took that right before you showed up,” you say, eyes diving to his hands. “Twenty minutes, maybe.”
He’s still switching between you and the test. Checking those two lines are still there, as if they might fade to nothing, and then checking you’re still there – as if you might, too. Might be swept off if he’s not keeping an eye on you.
His face pales. He sinks back against the window ledge. “Jesus,” he breathes, a hand down the scruff of his chin.
And it feels like relief, like a mirror sat before you, presenting the honest truth: you’re fucked, and Joel thinks so, too. It embeds the shock into the cushion of your brain, the weight of it absorbed and laid bare for every particle in your body to pay it a visit. What the fuck do we do now?
“Yeah,” you sniff, “Jesus.”
But then his arm wraps around your shoulder, reminding you you’re still solid. Still whole. He holds you to his side, and when you turn into him, he takes you in the other and pulls you flat against his chest. His lips to your hair. His breathing slowing yours.
“We’re gonna work it out,” he says into your hair. “We’re gonna – Jesus, I did not expect…We are goin’ to be fine, alright? You are goin’ to be fine.”
You’re nodding, the prickle of tears flooding across your eyes again. They’re doing nothing, his words – blunt against your skin and insignificant to the fear swelling around your heart – but it feels better to be afraid with someone. Feels better to hold onto something stronger, something bigger, while you feel yourself beginning to shrink.
“What do we do?” you ask into his shirt.
Joel loosens his grip, pulls away until you’re staring at one another. “What do you wanna do?”
“I don’t…” Your head’s shaking, lips moving quicker than your voice will offer the words over. “I don’t think I want to get rid of it.”
He nods, a hand coming up to hold your cheek. “Alright. Then you don’t have to. You don’t gotta do anythin’ you’re not comfortable with.”
“But,” you sniff, guiltily averting his gaze, “this fucks everything up. Everything’s about to change.”
Joel takes a long, slow breath. “It complicates some things, that’s for sure.” He looks out to the street; Alice Brown now hauling weeds from the edge of her lawn. In his exhale, he breathes a name.
“V…What?”
He looks down. Eyes dance around your damp cheeks. “Vanessa,” he says, clearer now.
“Vanessa?”
A nod. His nose wriggles with an awkward sniff. You push off from his chest.
“Who the hell is Vanessa?”
Joel lets you go; lets you step back. He watches as you brace yourself against the ledge. Runs a hand through his hair while he fixes the right order of words. He’s thinking. Carefully.
Too fucking carefully. He’s taking too long.
“Joel. Who’s Vanessa?”
“She’s…” He sighs. “She’s my ex. From Tommy’s wedding. Vanessa Hart.”
Your jaw slackens. The purple dress. The hair like silk, a halo around her head where the light kissed her perfectly. Her plump lips; the way her head tipped back to laugh. The amount of air you felt her take up the second you laid eyes on her, the second you saw her, arm on top of Joel’s.
“Vanessa,” you whisper, your eyes descending his frame. The memory feels menacing now: her sweet giggle a sneering cackle, and you’ve no idea why. The bulky jewels around her neck, her clawed fingers on his arm.
Joel’s hand sits inches from yours on the wooden sill. Alice is walking back inside.
“We, uh…we swapped numbers the morning after the wedding, at breakfast. I didn’t think much of it, but we’ve seen each other a couple times since.”
This isn’t the time for another it’s a date, it’s not a date argument. What the fuck does he mean by –
“Seen each other?”
“Mhm.” He owes you better than that. He reckons so, too. “Dates,” he clarifies. “We’ve been on a couple dates.”
“Oh.”
Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach. Plummets, dragging with it your breath and your nerve and any other words you can think of. Your chest gnaws at the edges of the cavity left behind. It hurts. It stings.
Though you’ve no right for it to hurt or sting: as far as you were concerned, as far as you think Joel was concerned, that night was a one-off. It meant as little as the alcohol draining from your glasses, the vacant buzz of love and hope loose in the air. Equally as intoxicating as each other.
Cataclysmic, for the first little while. So heavily awkward that you would wait to watch Joel head out in the morning, clear of your path, before you’d set off for work. It felt like the aftermath of some natural disaster – the cleanup of debris and mistake.
But oh, it feels like a punch to the gut. Low, unexpected; a foul move by someone who never meant to hurt or not hurt you. Someone ignorant to every move he made, right up to this moment.
Your arms wrap around your body again, as though tending to the bruise left by the sucker punch shaped something like that tall woman named Vanessa.
Joel scratches the back of his neck. “We were…we were seein’ about starting things up again. Me ‘n her.”
“Yeah,” you nod, “I got you. That’s – I mean, I’m – I’m sorry, Joel, I –”
“Woah, woah,” he’s stepping forward now, “hey, no. No way. This wasn’t you. Well, shoot – it kinda was you. But it was just as much me, right?”
You smile, your face back in the safe hold of his hands. Tears roll down your cheeks, collecting in the corners of your mouth. His thumbs swipe them away.
“This was just as much me,” he repeats, voice soft and soothing.
“But, you know – if you wanted to – just ‘cause I don’t want to get – so if you didn’t wanna have to – that’d be okay, you know that, right?”
His head snaps back, brows low. It’s the first time he looks like his cool has broken all morning. It’s the first time he looks…downright offended. “Are you kidding me?” he asks, and then, “Tell me you’re kidding.”
“I just – I know this ain’t ideal. It’s even worse if you’re tryna make it work with Vanessa. So if you felt like it was too much, then…”
Joel shakes his head. “Shut up,” he says, edged with some kind of groan. “Stop talking, right now. Stop. You gotta take a deep breath, alright? I’m here, ‘n I mean I’m here. We’re in this together. I am not running out on you.”
“Joel –”
What was a mere crack in his cool before, rips through it now like lightning spreading across the sky. He closes his eyes, a sigh escaping between his teeth. “If you think I would leave you right now, to deal with this on your own –”
“I don’t,” you tell him, his vexation powering your sudden animation. You wipe your tears away, shaking your head. “I’m just saying, it’s a fucking lot. I don’t want you to feel trapped. I’m giving you an out, man.”
“I am not interested in taking it. Enough. Conversation over.”
“And what about Vanessa?”
“What about her?” he asks, the question dripping in something akin to anger. He catches himself, draws it back in. “She’ll just – We’ll talk, I’ll explain it. The hell else can we do? One thing at a time, okay?”
“Right,” you nod, “okay. One thing at a time.”
“Let’s just build these damn wardrobes. I sure as hell didn’t lug all that timber over here to not do ‘em.”
“Okay,” you repeat, making for the door.
“Ah.” He clicks, and you turn back. “Where the hell do you think you’re goin’?”
“To get the timber.”
“I don’t think so,” he says, pointing to your bed. “Sit down. Relax. You ain’t getting a damn thing.”
Joel calls it a day at six o’clock.
The skeleton of the closet is up: a smooth, tan frame lining one wall of your room. Much bigger, much sturdier than its predecessor.
You’re in the same spot he left you in: lying across your bed, admiring his handiwork. He’s good at what he does. You told him twice, and the two of you almost heaved both times. Compliments aren’t something you’re used to handing one another.
He left, maybe, three hours ago. Said he had to shower; said he’d be back first thing to finish the job. You sat up to see him out, got struck by a wave of nausea so bad that you fell back to the bed with one hand on your stomach and the other over your lips, and Joel had insisted – demanded – that you stay where you were.
I’ll be back later to check on ya, he assured, setting a glass of water at your bedside. And then he told you to call him if you felt even remotely off – sick, or panicked, or had a tickle in your throat that you couldn’t clear – and that’s when the two of you realized that you don’t even have one another’s numbers.
And you laughed, the both of you; laughed at the absurdity of you carrying his child when you don’t even carry his contact details in your phone. Laughed at how quickly everything has turned one hundred and eighty degrees in the few hours since you woke up. It felt like some form of release, the only way to clear the blockage of tension in both your throats. So, you laughed, until you felt sick again, and Joel swept the hair from your shoulders to cool you down.
The attentiveness is…new. It’s interesting. It’s kind, in the same way that being told to say hi to whoever your grandma is talking to in the grocery store, is kind. Sweet, the same way that answering the door on Halloween to a bunch of kids you don’t know from a street you don’t recognize the name of, is sweet.
Whatever. It’s fucking weird, alright?
You’ve never seen this side of Joel. You didn’t know or even think, in your wildest dreams, that he existed. Let’s face it: you two have spent the entirety of your inhabitance next door to one another, antagonizing each other. Your favorite hobby has always been pissing Joel off – teasing him for having backache, seeing how far down his porch you can launch his newspaper and he’ll still go get it. Playing the same kind of music you heard him playing on his guitar that one time, full-volume from your kitchen window just to fuck with him.
And, likewise: his favorite hobby has always been…well, ignoring you. Doing everything he can not to engage. If it weren’t for that fucking cat lady and her jittery green Chevrolet, none of this would’ve ever happened. She was a catalyst where one was neither needed nor wanted. You would’ve gone about your life, pinning your underwear only slightly more carefully to your clothesline, and Joel would’ve gone about his, doing – whatever the fuck he does.
Sure, it’s weird. But it’s nice. It’s nice to have him on your side, turning to check on you rather than snap at you for something. Nice to have him talk – actual, rounded words in place of grumbles and mumbles and groans and sighs. Nice to hang out with him and watch him work and ask questions about screws and power tools and pretend to be interested just to distract from the weight of queasiness in your stomach.
Your hands trail down, cupping around your navel. Your stomach still feels like your stomach: still soft, still spongey under your touch. If not for the two more tests you’d taken this afternoon, perched on the bathroom counter waiting for Joel to unstick his gaze from his watch and announce, That’s three minutes – both also positive, by the way – you’d have no fucking clue.
You hold the bottom half of your tummy, fingers rubbing gently over the skin that will soon enough grow and swell and protect.
“Hey,” you whisper, staring at the stationary ceiling fan overhead. A pause. An awkward inhale. “…hey, little buddy. I don’t – know you very well, yet. I figure you can’t even fucking hear me, but whatever. Just wanted to say hi. I’m – Ew, no. I’m not Mom, yet. What the fuck. I don’t know who I am right now, so just…maybe go easy on me until I figure that part out. And after, too. Alright? Are we…we cool?
“You can’t tell me, I know. I just have to assume we’re cool. Okay. Well. Keep growin’. Keep…doing your thing. You’re doing great. We’re doing – we’re doing alright.
“Good job, kid. Good job.”
Joel tells Vanessa two days later. She takes it…about as well as you might hope.
He says they talked for four hours. Three cups of coffee and a drive to Taco Bell later, she agreed to meet you. Properly. Not across the cluttered dancefloor of Tommy’s wedding.
She –? Is – is that a good idea?
I don’t know, kid. It’s the best I’ve got.
Meet me? Like, come kick my ass for sleeping with her boyfriend?
Joel had sighed and deadened his eyes on yours. Not her boyfriend, he corrected, passing you a sweater folded a little slapdash for your liking, and wasn’t her boyfriend when we slept together.
You shook the sweater straight again and fixed his work, muttering to yourself that at least he’s a better builder than he is a folder.
Joel heard you, and let it go. Passed you another – unfolded – sweater to sit in your wardrobe. Let’s just see how it goes, alright?
Alright.
We’re really trying this again. It’s only been a couple weeks.
Okay.
And neither of us have had much luck in that department since we broke it off, y’know?
Joel. I said okay.
He held your gaze a moment too long. Okay.
You’re on your porch when he strolls over, wrist blocking the six o’clock sun from his eyes. Newspaper in his fist, wind licking the corners. “Forget somethin’ today?” he asks, meeting you at the top of the steps.
“Came out to get it,” you brace yourself on the railing, “felt sick. This is me workin’ up to it.”
“You want me to toss it back onto my lawn so you can go fetch me it?”
You smile, eyes screwing shut. “Was coming over to ask what time for tomorrow.”
The reminder snaps him from his happy daydream. He says, “I was comin’ to ask you the same thing. Seven work?”
“Seven’s good. Are we getting food?”
“You wanna get food? I figured maybe you wouldn’t be up for it, what with the, uh…” Joel gestures to your hunched position, your head low between your shoulders, your deep, deliberate breaths.
“Maybe just drinks,” you utter, gulping back the sharp taste of bile.
He nods. “Drinks it is. You okay? You need anything?”
“I’m good. Thanks. See you guys at seven.”
Four minutes early, there’s a knock at your door. You pull it open, and there they are. Picture-perfect, like they might be posing for a holiday card. A bottle in his arm, a bunch of flowers in hers. A timid but genial smile between her cheeks, a twinkle in her eye. That same circle of shining light around her head, brunette tresses curled into bouncing waves.
“Howdy,” Joel says, stepping into the space you create. He dips his head, kisses your cheek, whispers a brief, Y’okay? in your ear. You nod quickly, gently shifting him out of the way.
Vanessa lingers for a moment in the doorway. She glances from Joel to you again, blinking in the porch light. Her pale skin lit in an ethereal glow. She’s prettier up close.
Joel addresses you, hand brushing the small of your back, “…this is Vanessa.”
“Hi,” she says, and pushes the flowers towards you – a small bouquet of gypsophila and eucalyptus. Bright, polite. Each sprig laden with the burden of appearing simpatico, but important. Meaningful, in the airiest sense of the word. “Hi,” again.
“Hi,” you echo, and then feel stupid for having nothing more to offer. You can feel Joel’s eyes on you, hot on your shoulder.
But Vanessa takes the weight from your chest. “It’s nice to meet you – officially. I saw you at Tommy and Maria’s wedding. You looked so beautiful.”
“Thanks,” springs from your tongue sooner than the rest of the sentence. Your brain scrams to find more words. “You looked – you looked great, too. Do you wanna –? I mean – Sorry. Come in. Obviously.”
She clicks over the threshold, her pale dress floating into your hallway like she’s part of a dream. She’s just as beautiful in this light, relaxed form – pastel blue and the glimmer of golden jewelry – as she was in the sleeker, more dramatic form you saw her in before. An aura about her which captures and tends to your attention. Intense, captivating, but not intimidating.
You usher them to the living room, offer them a space on the couch while you take Vanessa’s flowers to the kitchen. Joel follows you through, sets the bottle on the counter.
“Nonalcoholic,” he says, unscrewing the cap.
Your eyebrows jump. “Great. Thanks.”
“She’s nervous,” he murmurs, leaning in. “I know you are, too. Y’all are similar like that.”
You slot the stems into a vase of water one by one, carefully organizing a display. “She seems sweet,” you assure him. “She shouldn’t be nervous.”
“Neither should you.”
“Is this…totally weird for you?”
Joel breathes in deep, filling three glasses. “Yeah,” he says, eyes never lifting from the sparkling peach.
“Sorry.”
He angles his jaw. “Stop sayin’ you're sorry. I’ll kick your ass.”
Your head drops between your shoulders, eyes lifting only to his elbows. “Sorry.”
He scoffs, swiping the glasses and stepping back to let you out first.
“I’m trying not to make it weird,” you offer, slipping by.
“I don’t want you to try anything.” He kicks your ankle lightly and follows you back into the living room.
Vanessa sits forward and clasps her hands around her knee when you sit back down, shifting as though to reach for you before she stops herself. “How are you feeling? Joel said you’re a little…worse for wear, right now.”
“I’ve been better,” you say, smiling. “Just morning sickness. Which lasts – all day.”
She nods sympathetically. “My sister had it rough with her first. I actually…” She twists around, reaches for her purse, fishes out an orange packet. “I brought you some ginger tea. Kate told me it helped her a lot, so.”
She holds it out in almost trembling fingers. Likewise, you steady yours to take it from her, thanking her with a shy nod of the head. “That’s so kind,” you reply quietly, eyes darting to Joel. He’s staring at the pack in your hands, watching as you turn it over to read the back.
“And – listen,” Vanessa continues, the acceptance of her offering clearly fueling her assuredness, “I don’t want anything to be weird – between you and I, between you and Joel. I know this situation is…new. It’s, um…”
“It’s kinda weird,” you say, humoring. “It’s okay. I know.”
She breathes a relieved laugh. “It is. Thank God you said it.” She glances back at Joel, who smiles at her, slips his hand onto her knee. “But I guess,” a deep breath, “I guess it is what it is. And we’re all adults, you know? We can make it work, right?”
Your head switches rapidly between nodding enthusiastically and shaking enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yes. No, absolutely. And, you know, me and Joel – there isn’t – we’re not at all…”
“Oh,” she bats the idea away, “I know. I know that. He told me everything. It’s – You know, it’s just a timing thing.”
Joel’s staring down at his hand locked around her leg. Unblinking. Unmoving. His expression doesn’t shift until the two of you settle back into your seats; until Vanessa asks if he’d mind making you a cup of ginger tea.
You barely notice his absence, the way she takes you up in conversation. Like twirling you off in some kind of dance, each sentence strung safely to the next. There are no lulls, no awkward pauses. She asks about work, asks about your family. She tells you stories about her niece, who’s three now, and compares how you’re feeling to how she remembers her sister feeling.
Then her work, and the IT guy her friend hooked up with, and her class at the gym which she’s trying to convince Joel to come along to, and Kate’s hot yoga class every Thursday night, and the new sushi place which just opened downtown and You gotta try it some day; the nigiri is divine.
And you nod along, and you laugh at her anecdotes and tell your own, and Joel tells her to tell you about the jazz band who were playing at the restaurant they visited a couple weeks ago, and you offer to top her drink up and she says she’ll do it herself and she leaves you and Joel alone for the first time all evening, and – it’s weird.
Because – behind the veil of conversation you’re doing your best to uphold, sits an image of this very night – only, in Joel’s house. In Joel’s house, on Joel’s couch, drinking nonalcoholic wine with Joel’s brother. Joel and Vanessa leant against one another on one couch, Tommy and Maria on the other.
You can’t help it – you’re wondering what Maria thinks of Vanessa. How long they knew each other, if at all, before the breakup. Whether they hung out, whether they discussed sushi and yoga, or the housing market, or their Miller boyfriends and their annoying Miller habits.
Maria would’ve liked her, you think. Would’ve found her as lovely as you do. And the idea, the image of them giggling together at family parties and being Tommy’s Maria and Joel’s Vanessa – presses a firm, bullying finger into the bruise you thought had faded some from the other day.
And once they’re gone, once you’re left alone again – lying in still silence, closed in on yourself by the thick darkness of your room, nothing but you and your thoughts and your unborn child for company – it slips out.
“Fuck her, right?” You hold your hands out, addressing your stomach. “She was so fucking nice. Did you like her? Fuck me, I liked her. I hope they break up.”
And then, realizing who you’re talking to: “No. Sorry, baby, no. I don’t hope they break up. I want your dad to be really happy. But – Goddamn. She was so sweet. I thought she was gonna slap me, and she just – she brought ginger tea! Fuck. They look good together, don’t they?”
It’s just hormones. Just the emotional trip that is being four weeks pregnant. Everybody feels like this when they fall pregnant – sensitive, vulnerable, clingy. Right? Right?
Your words sit stagnant in midair. You swear you can see them, heavy and intruding. Awkwardly lingering someplace they don’t belong. Because none of it even matters – the hormones, the emotions. The weird knot burning a hole in your chest, shaped like a clenched fist, knuckles branded by the heat of longing. It can’t matter.
You’re where you are, he’s where he is. A pillow in your arm, Vanessa in his. Feet apart, bricks and mortar and something like twenty years and two dates too late separating you.
Both staring up at the ceiling, wondering who the other’s thinking of.
“At eight weeks, your baby is roughly the size of a raspberry.”
Your knee bounces, breath coming and going in shaky ripples. The rubber sole of your shoe cries against the sterilized hospital floor. Your chest hums anxiously and your throat catches when you swallow and are the lights too bright? The room too hot? You’re sweating. Why are you sweating? Can you breathe right now?
Joel nudges your arm and your eyes roll to the pamphlet in his hand, his finger tracing the words. “C’mon,” he utters, leaning in, “how can anything the size of a raspberry be scary?”
You squint under fluorescent white. “A raspberry that grows into the size of a watermelon, can break my ribs, make me throw up, make me lose hair, and then tear my vagina apart on its way out? That’s pretty scary.”
He smirks. “Not to me it ain’t. My vagina stays perfectly intact the entire time.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you reply, whacking him.
He laughs, swatting your palm away, keeping ahold of your fingers inside his own. “Speaking of – we gotta talk.” He elbows you, waiting until you’re looking again to speak. “We gotta cut the language.”
“Cut the language?”
“Uhuh. Rein it in. And by we, I mean you.”
“Uh,” you scoff, “I don’t think so. When you do the growing, then you can rein your own swearing in. Leave me alone, asshole.”
“Charming,” Joel says. “You know the baby can hear you? You want it to come out swearin’ like a trooper?”
You grin, tipping your head to him. “If it comes out and says anything, we’re rich. So – yeah. Let it.”
He opens his mouth to reply when a nurse emerges from a nearby room and calls your name.
“You’re up, kid,” Joel says, standing beside you.
You turn back, speaking before your brain settles on words. “I’m scared.”
“Hey,” he says, taking your hand. He squeezes it gently, uses the other to keep you facing him. “This is the easy part, right? We’re just going to meet them.”
“Oh, fuck,” you breathe, and wander over to meet the nurse. Joel’s hand a vice grip around yours.
She leads you into a similarly washed-out clinic room, only slightly dimmer with the lights turned out, and yanks a roll of paper across the bed. Tapping it twice, she smiles. “Hop up, darlin’.”
You settle into the crinkly paper, leaning back until you’re blinking up at the speckled ceiling. Another door opens and a woman in a white coat floats in, and you swear that if it weren’t for Joel’s Evenin’, ma’am when she greets the two of you, you’d believe she were a figment of your imagination. Another character in this fucking insane dream.
“Not often I do these past five o’clock,” she says, clicking her mouse and typing on her keyboard and fixing a hair grip back into her bun. Casual. It’s not even a thing to her, introducing parents and children. She does this all fucking day.
Joel tosses half a glance to you and then realizes you’re not currently in the room. He pinches your hand again. It grounds you for all of two seconds.
“Yeah, uh,” he clears his throat, “work commitment. I couldn’t get away any earlier, so we’re havin’ to do this a little late.”
“What do you do?” she asks, staring at her screen. Her glossy brown eyes and rich, dark skin.
“I’m a contractor,” Joel replies, thumb stroking your shoulder.
Something bubbles in your stomach, something akin to jealousy, an urgency to tell her that right now, in this room, he’s mine. No more questions. Something which quickly dissipates when you remind yourself to quit being fucking ridiculous and that right now, in this room, he’s someone else’s, and the thumb on your shoulder is merely to hold you back from fleeing. Nothing more.
The sonographer nods. Her name badge reads Freya. Pretty name. Stop picturing what your kid would look like as a Freya. You are not naming them after the first sonographer you meet.
“Shouldn’t be too long, then y’all can get home for the night. You live nearby?”
“Twenty minutes’ drive. Not far, are we?” Joel asks you.
Your eyes shoot down to his. “No,” you push your cheeks up, telling Freya, “not far.”
She flattens her lips against one another, lending you a sympathetic smile. “You got nothing to worry about, honey. Promise. Gel might be a little cold, that’s about as scary as this gets. We’re just gonna make sure everything’s looking good, check your dates, check your measurements. You’re doing great.”
“You hear that?” Joel murmurs, settling down into the chair by your side. His hand hasn’t left yours. His voice is low, meant just for you, when he repeats, “You’re doin’ great.”
You huff a laugh, some nervous release from your lungs.
Freya smiles, face lit by the faint glow of the screen in front of her. “We ready?”
You roll the hem of your tee up when she motions, bunching it under the wire of your bra. She squeezes a bottle over your stomach, which tenses solid when the frozen bite of gel curls right below your belly button. Freya smiles apologetically when you wince. Told you, she murmurs, and your breath escapes in a slightly more comfortable laugh. Lighter, easier. Scariest part over.
She presses the probe to your skin and spreads the gel, coating the bottom of your tummy in a slippery slick which tickles with each inch she covers. Two buttons pressed, and a dark image appears on a screen opposite you.
A gray fan, speckled like the ceiling above your head. Dark, black shapes growing and shrinking at the turn of Freya’s wrist. She pauses, two blobs onscreen: the larger, black, round, home to a smaller, misshapen one. Flecked with white and silver and moving slowly, gently, but – right there.
“Mom, Dad,” she grins, “meet your baby.”
You and Joel move forward at the same time, drawn closer to the crunchy image as if by some kind of natural magnetism. Eyes never blinking, lips agape. The shapes flutter, the smaller dipping in and out of view.
“You see right here, right in the center?” A white cross appears over the blob’s middle. “That little movement? The kinda – pulsing?”
You each nod. Your nails dig so deep into Joel’s hand that you risk drawing blood.
“That’s the heart. Ticking away.”
“The heart?” you ask, watching the rhythmic flicker in the center of the screen.
“Yep. Perfect, too.”
She hits another key and suddenly the room is filled with a muffled thudding; a steady, energetic pulse in your ears. It matches the movements onscreen, the tiny throb of the baby’s chest, the shape of your womb moving like waves before you.
And suddenly, it's real – all of it: the screen and the room and the sonographer and you, and Joel’s hand encasing yours, holding your knuckles to his lips, and –
And the heartbeat. Right there, right in front of you. Shy, probably as nervous as you are to introduce themselves. Feeling your eyes on them, curled up somewhere safe inside you. Right there.
You turn to Joel, and his illuminated face is staring straight at the screen. Eyes soaked with tears, blinking as they form, cheeks dappled with wet. He draws his eyes from his child only to look back at you, only to mirror your stunned smile, your disbelieving laugh, more tears dripping down into his beard. He sits up, presses his damp lips firmly to your forehead.
Freya mutes the heartbeat, pauses the scan where the image is clearest, and sits back. “I’ll give you guys a moment to yourselves,” she says, wheeling back in her chair. “Take all the time you need. I’m right outside.”
“Thanks,” Joel mumbles for the both of you, sweeping hair from your face.
The door closes on your little bubble – you, Joel, and the grainy image of your baby. The evidence that – yeah, that night happened, and yeah, you’re forever changed because of it. The evidence that you’re about to become a mom, for real, no matter how much the thought makes you feel like your stomach is kicking around at your ankles.
And the evidence that, no matter how scared you might be, how unprepared and unworthy you feel – you fucking adore that little blob already.
Love it as much as Joel does, stood over you, kissing your hair and whispering words you’re only half-listening to. A quiet thank you, a shaky I can’t believe it. Something about showing his brother. And when you look up at him, blinking at one another, inches apart – he takes your jaw in his hands and lowers his lips to yours.
Different. Softer. No want laced through. No urgency. Nothing needed, nor requested, that isn’t already right here in this little bubble of yours.
He kisses you slowly, eyes closed, holding you until you pull away for breath. His nose bumps against yours and you laugh, heads together, eyes low.
“Still scared?” he whispers.
“Terrified,” you tell him.
“Me, too,” he says, and kisses you again.
You lean back against the bed, relief settling your bones and soothing your heartbeat. The notion washes over you that, if you could, you’d stay in this room forever. Staring at the screen, holding Joel’s hand. Whispering fears into his mouth and letting him swallow them in a kiss.
He hands you some paper towel and helps you drag it across your stomach, your eyes still fixed on the little shape opposite. He hooks his chin over your head – the fresh, woody smell of his cologne infiltrating your lungs and throwing you under the haze of something you’re not quite sure how to define.
“Duck,” he says, voice vibrating into your skull.
“Huh?”
“Start saying duck. Make the baby think we’re saying that, then you can say –” he lowers his voice, “– fuck, all you want.”
“The hell would I have to say duck for?”
Joel stands upright and shrugs. “I don’t know. Think of somethin’. A nickname, maybe.”
“Duck?”
He nods plainly, glancing over to the screen.
The pillow beneath your head sighs as you turn from Joel back to the ultrasound. “Baby Duck,” you offer, and he smiles.
Smiles in a way you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile. Eyes glistening, cheeks swollen. Something innocent and earnest about it. Something pure.
He agrees. “Baby Duck it is.”
Joel insists that you spend the night at his place.
“It’s been a big day,” he reasons, fixing the bed in his guestroom. “Just – let me run around after you for a little bit.”
You fight your corner as much as you can be bothered – I gotta maintain my independence, I’m gonna be a single mom soon enough, you know – but, truthfully, you’ll take any excuse to have him rush around at your beck and call. Some days you open your mouth and he hears the wet click of saliva between your lips, and grabs a glass of water for you before you’ve even voiced the request.
He orders takeout, settles shoulder-to-shoulder with you on the couch, and lets you pick whichever movie you feel like putting him through until the food’s gone, he’s out of beer, and you’ve abandoned Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles for an argument about the best part of pizza.
You don’t like the crust?
Nope.
What fuckin’ age are you?
If it ain’t stuffed, it’s just not worth it.
At eleven, you bid him goodnight and wander upstairs, falling into a sea of navy-blue sheets to be delivered to sleep by the serene silence of Joel’s home. It takes no time for your eyes to flutter closed, the soft sheen of moonlight painted across the wall, sweeping from your view to be replaced in a whir by –
Lights. Overhead and all around and so bright and so close that you swear they’re etched on the inside of your eyelids.
You’re in the backseat, watching them soar by in blurs of white and red and amber and green, and your pulse is rattling through your veins and throbbing between your temples and you can’t focus on any one object for longer than three seconds, before your eyes roll and your head dizzies.
A word, slung from your lips in a half-wakened attempt to stop it. A word you barely recognize at first, don’t understand the meaning of. It’s been years. Why now? Mom.
You’re not sure why, or who you’re even reaching out to. There are two figures in the front seats, heads facing forward. She’s not turning around. She’s not even fucking moving, not reacting to the speed or the lights or your voice. Mom.
You scream it, the syllable ripping violently from your throat, and your tiny fingers reach for her swirls of hair. You pause, staring at the chipped polish on your stubby, kiddy nails. Mom, I’m scared.
The distorted blast of a horn scoops the car up in one motion, hurtling over itself along the freeway. You’re thrown to the roof of the car, plummet back down to your seat; the seatbelt throttles you, rips a burn deep into the skin of your neck. Back up again; your head hits the spongey roof of the car. Your stomach somersaults.
Mom, please, you wail, swiping for her hand. It’s lying limp by her thigh, dark droplets on her wrist. Mom Mom please Mom I’m scared Mom please I’m so scared I –
“Baby.”
His voice is low, earthy. It chews apart the high-pitched squeal of brakes and screaming. The glass smashing. The metal crunching.
You lift from the bed like it’s ice water, gasping when you finally surface back on Earth. Your chest heaves, it’s not sucking in enough breath; you can’t breathe you can’t breathe you can’t fucking breathe.
Joel whips the cover from your legs and you roll from the mattress, feet planting on the floor. You bend forward to grip onto the sheets, a choking rising up your throat, closer and closer until it tugs on your tongue.
“Icantbreathe,” you pant.
Joel’s body curves around yours. “You’re alright,” he’s telling you – urging you; one hand between your shoulder blades, the other holding your wrist for fear you might collapse. “I’m here, you’re okay. You’re at my place, you’re safe, but, kid – I need you to slow down. You’re hyperventilating.”
You work your breathing to the strokes of his hand up and down your spine: in out in out in and out and in and out and in, and out, and in, and…out…and in…and…out.
“That’s it. Keep doing that. You’re good, baby, I got you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
In – and out. In – and out again.
The room slowly desaturates back into boring, moonlit blue. Feeling sputters back into your hands, clawing at the sheets once the sharpness dissolves. The cotton pets back, smooth under your quivering touch. Your lips stop tingling, your ears stop ringing. One after another, until your blood settles back to a steady stream and you straighten up.
“Can you sit down for me?”
“No,” you whimper, and Joel nods.
“That’s alright,” he says. “I’m gonna get you a drink, that okay?”
You grab his T-shirt. “No. Don’t leave me. Please. Sorry.”
He cups your frozen cheeks. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere. Just downstairs. You can come.”
He settles you at his kitchen table and shuffles over to the cupboards, rubbing his eyes. You feel the heat of embarrassment and guilt, watching as he settles down with a groan minutes later.
“Ginger,” he tells you, voice rounded by his mug, sliding one of your own over to you.
“Sorry,” you mumble, lifting it with two hands. The smell sharp, cutting up the remnants of gasoline and smoke.
“Many times do I gotta say it?” he asks dryly. “Quit sayin’ you’re sorry.”
You gulp nervously. “You got work in the morning. You’re gonna be exhausted.”
“And if I hadn’t let you keep me up watchin’ chick flicks, I’d be rested. That’s something I can deal with later. I got you to worry about right now.”
You shake your head; the ceramic hits the table with a sharp thud. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“Well,” Joel sniffs, “you’re carrying my child. I’ll always worry about you.”
You sit back, the curve of the chair cradling, your heart beating lamely against the wood. Joel’s jaw rests in the cushion of his palm, staring back at you.
“What time is it?” you ask, and he glances over his shoulder.
“Three. Take a sip.”
“I’m fine.”
“Sip.”
You obey, lifting the tea and swallowing harshly.
He watches every move, every shift reflected in his dark eyes, decorated by a tense, stony expression. “Does this happen a lot?”
“Never,” you say. “This never happens.”
Joel cranes his jaw, cracks his neck. “Alright,” he sighs, “that’s okay. Breathe again. You’re doing fine.”
But you don’t feel fine. The dregs of panic sizzle into something thicker, hotter. Anger. Frustration. “Why the fuck is this happening?” you hiss, fingers prodding into your eye sockets. “What the f–?”
“Easy. I don’t know. Hormones? Stress?”
“You sound like my fucking doctor.”
Joel smiles. Amusement, before concern wipes over it again. “Let’s just give it some time to pass, okay?”
You nod, hanging over your drink, the silhouette of your reflection staring back at you. The steam snakes up, seeping into your skin, bubbling under the surface. Wiping clean any memory of freeway or nail polish, like coating over a bathroom mirror. The shapes still visible behind, but blurred. Gone.
“How’s Vanessa?” you ask, an attempt to distract yourself.
Joel adjusts a little awkwardly in his chair. “She’s good. She loved the scan photo. Showed it to her sister. They’re sure it’s a boy.”
“Ha. Joel Jr.”
“Joel Jr.,” he agrees, and then attempts to distract himself. “So,” he says, “Allandale.”
“Mhm?”
“Wonder if I ever saw your mom or dad. When I was there visitin’ Sam.”
You shrug. “Doubt it. I mean, they always lived right next to the elementary school, if that helps. My mom was a first-grade teacher. The two of us used to walk there ‘n back together, every day.”
“First grade, huh? Best one.”
“Yeah. Yeah, and she was the best of the best. She used to go all out for her kids; used to go to Michaels and get all this crafty stuff so they could spend all afternoon making little houses or zoos, or – whatever she could think of. And she’d always keep some aside, bring some home for me to make one, too. One time, she came home with all this blue tissue paper and little foam fish, and we made an aquarium together.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Joel says.
“Yeah,” you say again, nodding eagerly. “She was so cool. And fun, y’know? I just remember her being so much fun. I always felt safe with her, felt loved. I actually used to think she hung the sun every morning, just for me.” You take a deep breath, replacing it with a broken sigh.
“What about your dad? What was he like?”
You frown. “He was…fine. Real quiet, reserved. A little grumpy, I guess. I always got the idea he couldn’t be bothered with me, young as I was. Always wanted to be left alone. I think my mom overcompensated a lot.”
Something flashes across Joel’s face that seems to say he knows – or, at least, he understands. Almost imperceptible, a quick flicker of annoyance. “You miss her?” he asks, switching back.
“My mom?” You almost laugh, gripping onto your mug. Staring at the slow swirl of ginger. A shrug which presents more like a flinch; an animal swatting a fly away. “I miss those parts, when I think of them. The aquarium, the walking to school. Miss the memories. But I don’t think I knew her well enough or long enough to miss her.
“I’ve lived way longer without her than I ever had her. Done everything without her, like –” gesturing down, “– this. But, sometimes…sometimes, I bundle the sheets up behind my back in bed, and I pretend it’s her. Pretend I have a mom, and she’s cuddling me to sleep. I dunno. Maybe that’s what missing her feels like.”
Joel soaks in every word you say, letting the shape of each one settle on the table between you before he speaks again. Letting them be spoken into the dead of night, collected by no one, and letting them fade into silence. Secrets sweeping off into starlight. Nothing you would admit in the daytime.
“What was her name?” he asks, voice timid and gentle in the dark kitchen.
You almost choke on your tea. “Shoot – I’m sorry. That was a lot. Sorry. She, uh – Her name?”
It brings the first genuine smile to your lips; the memory of your mom now clear behind your eyes. Her round cheeks, her fluttering earrings. The deep, dark curls of her hair, thick ringlets twisting and lighting in the sun. The gap between her front teeth, the purse of her lips as she kissed your cheeks, your hands, your tummy.
Her name like a melody in your head; a safe word, a calming mantra when the world becomes too noisy, too saturated, too sharp to bear. Two syllables. Two little beats, like a piece of her still lives in the sound of her name.
“Sarah,” you tell Joel. “Her name was Sarah.”
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kasagia · 5 months
Text
Right Hand IV
Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: This is the first time you plan to do something completely behind Feyd's back. You must tread carefully with him to ensure that your plan is not exposed until it is fully implemented. However, you begin to have doubts about the role you want to play in Na-Baron Harkonnen's life… and you don't like it at all. Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; fight; brutality; smut; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ PART III ~•♤♤♤•~ PART V ~•♤♤♤•~
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You return from the harpies as the sun begins to rise over Arrakis. It took you a little longer than you thought to come to terms with them, but to your surprise, they turned out to be very cooperative.
The first stage of your plan has begun. The easiest one. Now you have to deal with the next part of it.
You reach your bedroom and close the door quietly. You lean against it and sigh, allowing yourself to rest for a moment. Thoughts race through your head as you reconsider your plan.
Killing the baron and making it look like a Fremen kidnapping and execution would be child's play. It will be much worse to convince the emperor to protect his bloodline in the face of sudden tragic events. And what's a better solution to that than marrying his daughter to the new, young Baron of Giedi Prime?
Feyd would be, by this marriage, a sure successor to the emperor. He would also probably leave you alone and take care of his new wife. If you were lucky, he would make you governor of Arrakis.
A sharp knock on the door interrupts your thoughts. You almost fall over, being able to take only a few steps forward before the door almost flies off its hinges under the force of whoever opens it.
You take a deep breath, ready to scream at anyone who dared to invade your private space like that, but you freeze when you see Feyd-Rautha at your doorstep. Very pissed off, Feyd-Rautha. 
"Where the hell were you?" He asks in a cool, controlled tone of voice. It is surprising considering he has the blood of probably hundreds of people on himself.
"Well, I guess I should be the one asking you about it. It's not every day that you're dripping with so much blood. What happened? Instead of entering the disinfection chamber, you fell into the prison drainage system?" You scoff at him and turn your back to him, taking off your black robe.
You gasp as he reaches your side in a few quick steps and turns you to face him, his hand tightening around your throat as he is looking at your eyes. Surprisingly, his hand doesn't cut off your air; he just keeps it wrapped around your throat, pressing his fingers against your pulse point. You wonder if this is a warning for you or if he's checking to see if you are real.
"Where. Have. You. Been?" He speaks hoarsely, not raising his voice at you but demanding an answer to his question, completely ignoring your mockery of him.
"With your harpies. Someone had to feed them. Ask them if you don't believe me." You answer confidently. If he's surprised or thinks you're lying, he doesn't show it. His eyes move from your face to your torso, more specifically to the place where you were bleeding profusely a few hours ago.
You shiver as he slides his hand down your throat, through the valley between your breasts, and down your stomach. He gently lifts the fabric of your nightgown and reveals the bandage on your side. He stares at it for a while in complete silence.
Suddenly, he takes a step towards you, pressing his body against yours. You feel the blood from his armour slowly seep into the fabric of your nightgown, but that's not what makes you suddenly hold your breath.
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen, Na-Baron, an heir to Giedi Prime and Arrakis, a psychopath, probably a future emperor, a man hungry for pain, suffering, and blood, rests his forehead against yours and holds you tightly to him, cuddling you. You are afraid to take even the smallest breath. You just stare stupidly at the man in front of you. His eyes close as he inhales your scent and basks in your warmth.
"What happened with you? You weren't with me when I woke up.” You whisper, keeping your gaze on him, examining every last inch of his face as you try to read the reason for his strange, soft behaviour.
"Did you want me to be there?" He asks in a whisper, still not opening his eyes. His closeness overwhelms you. His tender treatment makes you feel more vulnerable than when he held a dagger against your neck.
But what terrifies you more than that is that you really wanted to see him waiting by your bed for you to wake up—just like in those hopeless romances hidden in Giedi Prime's library. But you knew too well that your life would never be like one of these love stories. More like textbooks about the history of their family—a very bloody story full of intrigue.
"I didn't care one bit. What worries me is that you clearly had fun without me. Whose blood are you staining my clothes with?" He sighs at your question. He reluctantly pulls away from you and looks at you carefully. He places his hand on your bare shoulder and plays with your hair, twisting it around his finger.
"Fremen's. As soon as the medic assured me that you were in stable condition, I joined the units that started chasing them. We caught three sandworms and people on them." He reports to you dispassionately, with no emotion in his eyes. For a moment, you think he might be exhausted from the events of the day, but ever since you became his right hand, you never remember him showing any signs of tiredness.
"I see." You say, swallowing. Lately, his proximity has been giving you a strange feeling. It's been like this ever since he ordered you to kneel in front of him. You feel a faint blush rising to your cheeks as you remember that day. He hasn't touched you since then. Something you weren't extremely happy about.
"The Reverend Mother asked about you. The one from the Corrino." He says this and moves away from you. He slowly starts to remove his bloody armor. You look away from him as he removes his breastplate, revealing his muscular, pale chest.
His partial nudity almost makes you ignore what he said. And it annoys you that suddenly staring at his fit, well-built body seems more interesting to you than listening to the important message he's telling you. After all, that was what you were afraid of—that the Bene Gesserit would start looking at you more closely.
"What exactly did she want?" You ask, directing your gaze to your black nightrobe. As you suspected, the blood from his clothes soaked yours. You wrinkle your nose, realising you'll have to change.
"Take you away from me. I clearly explained to her that this was not an option and never would be. You're mine. They gave you to me themselves." You hold your breath as he's a few inches away from you again. Only a black loincloth around his hips covered his... intimate parts. He reaches for your cheek, tracing your cheekbones with his thumb. He pulls you towards him, pressing his body against yours again.
"Technically you took me yourself. And I never gave in to you." You remind him, watching him closely as he wraps his other arm around your waist, making sure you don't run away from him. Your heart beats faster as his fingers slip under your nightgown and trace the edges of the bandage wrapped around your waist.
"Irrelevant details." He growls, tangling his hand in your hair. He pulls you closer to him, making you rest your chin on his shoulder as he buries his face in your hair. "What happened? After you used the voice. Why were you bleeding..."
"That's irrelevant. It worked. Atreides got scared, and we bought ourselves more time before his next attempt... to make a move against us." You interrupt him before he asks a question.
The story of this particular wound and your... incredible skills was something you promised not to reveal to anyone. It was the darkest memory of your past, one that haunted you more than your memories of Arrakis. It was selfish of you to forget about the poor people you had to kill to survive, but you had worked with Harkonnens for too long to be even ashamed of it. Everyone had to look after themselves. Only monsters equal to them survived among them. Apparently, you were one of them.
He interrupts your thoughts, moving away from you. His eyes burn with a vivid, burning anger that sends shivers down your spine. You lift your chin, enduring the stern look that he wanted to intimidate you with. He scowls even more when he sees that you don't take much notice of his silent admonishment.
"You almost died."
"You're exaggerating this. I thought you of all people won't be afraid of the sight of a little blood." You respond dismissively, which only makes his mood worse. In a few steps, he walks over to you and pins you against the wall behind you. His chest rubs against yours with each deep breath. But you are calm. Unlike you, he doesn't have daggers attached to his body... unless he has them under his loincloth...
"I simply don't enjoy holding your almost lifeless body in my arms. I much prefer it when your heart beats strongly against your chest... like now." He whispers hoarsely, his nose brushing against your cheekbone. His lips are dangerously close to yours; if he leaned a little closer to you, he could brush the corner of your lips with his. You sigh shakily, closing your eyes as you are trying your best to deny this strange, sick desire for him that suddenly rose in you.
"Maybe you shouldn't hold me at all?"
Your question was met with silence and no response from him. And just when you think he's actually going to pull away from you, he grabs your hair, pulling your head back and exposing your throat to himself. You sigh as his full lips descend on your neck. He sucks on your skin, licking it before his black teeth sink into you. You gasp, reflexively placing your hand on the back of his head. You know you can't pull him away; all you can do is place your hand on the back of his neck and dig your nails into his skin as he leaves his marks on your soft neck.
You gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. His hardness rubs against your clothed core as he grinds his hips into yours. You bite your lip, holding back a small moan as you feel him so close. He breathes shakily against your neck, staying there for a moment. Never in your life have you seen Feyd-Rautha Harkonne refrain from taking what he wants. That's why you're shocked when he suddenly lets go of you and walks away, turning his back on you.
"It was a very long day and I believe there is an even longer one ahead of us. So shut up, lie nicely on the bed and wait for me. I'll come over in a moment and you better fucking be there because this time I'm gonna tear down this planet looking for you, are we clear?" He asks, turning around to look at you. You nod, swallowing thickly, with your cheeks still a little blushed and your heart beating madly fast. "Good girl." He mutters and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a loud bang.
You stare at the closed door for a good while. Only when the sound of water reaches your ears do you manage to snap out of this strange state.
You place a hand on your neck, tracing with your fingertips the spot his greedy lips marked. You shudder as you hear his soft grunts from the bathroom, knowing full well what... impressive problem he's dealing with there. You blush and run to change before he comes out of the bathroom.
Your head lay on the pillow just as the bathroom door opened. You try not to stare at him as he towels off. He throws the towel on the chair next to the desk and turns off the lights in the room. You sigh shakily, listening to his quiet footsteps around the room. He locks the door with a loud click. A cold chill runs through you, and your heart beats faster as you hear him approaching the bed.
You stiffen as you feel him sit down on the bed next to you. You hear him hide something under the pillow, probably one of his daggers, before laying down next to you.
His arm slips under the covers and wraps around you, pulling you closer to his chest as he takes on the role of a big spoon. You're pressed against his naked body; only a piece of the duvet and the fabric of your nightgown separate you two. You feel your heart speed up rapidly as you feel his toned chest muscles against your back.
"Is something wrong, little witch?" He asks mockingly, as if he didn't realise how uncomfortable you felt when he fell asleep and cuddled up to you while being fully naked. Only this time you felt a completely different kind of discomfort...
"You'll be cold, Na-Baron." You say, trying to convince him to get dressed. However, Na-Baron has completely different plans. If possible, he moves even closer to you, his length brushing against your ass as he leans close to your ear.
"You can always warm me up." You snort at his suggestion and say nothing more. His lips brush against your earlobe as he presses a feathery kiss there.
His grip on you tightens, and he rests his head just behind yours, nuzzling his nose into your hair as he inhales your scent. You feel like his private stuffed animal, favourite blanket, or other cuddly toy. But you know he didn't have the privilege of having such a thing—a normal childhood with toys and so on. Just like you.
So you delude yourself that this is the reason why you put your hand on his—the one with which he hugs you—and lean more on his chest. You were doing it only in search of the rare feeling of comfort that you are both unaccustomed to and that you both silently long for, however, your rational explanation doesn't include the reason why you feel the warmth rising in your chest when you hear his soft snores before you fall asleep.
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It will be better this way. — You try to convince yourself as you watch Princess Irulan and Feyd dancing on the dance floor from the corner of the room. — You never wanted him. Sure, there were... some nice moments between you two, but that's all. It wasn't even a crush. Just a few irrelevant conversations and heated meetings—nothing that you haven't experienced before with someone else.
So why the hell did you want to pierce the heart of the emperor's daughter with your dagger?
A few days have passed since Atreides attacked. Harkonnen troops cleared the area and ensured that further celebrations of Na-Barone's birthday would proceed without further incident. Meanwhile, you watched as Irulan approached Feyd as well as how the Emperor and the Baron communicated about the possible marriage of these two. And although you were happy with this turn of events, it really bothered you to look at the blonde, who was obviously flirting with your Na-Baron.
You shouldn't care. Not at all. You should be happy that the burden imposed by the Bene Gesserit has been lifted from you and passed to someone else—that another woman has been assigned to carry their fucking powerful child. But you couldn't help the burning feeling of jealousy, anger, and regret when his eyes were on the emperor's daughter and not on you.
You shake your head at your stupidity and take the glass from a passing servant. You take a huge gulp and cough, unaccustomed to the burning sensation of the strong alcohol running down your throat. But you take another sip anyway. Fuck the patriarchy and the Bene Gesserit. You're not going to give birth to any Kwisatz Haderach, so you might as well ruin your liver with alcohol.
"I see you still don't absorb alcohol well, my sweet death. It's surprising, considering how many years you've been living among the Harkonnens." You freeze when you hear a familiar voice behind you. You put your glass down and turn around in shock.
"Fevas?" You ask, shocked to see a familiar man with dark hair standing in front of you. A smile forms on your face when you see his signature mischievous smirk and the twinkle of amusement in his night-dark eyes.
"The one and only. What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." He says it, laughing, and walks over to you. He takes you into his arms without asking, trapping you in a tight embrace. You wrap your arms around him and let yourself breathe in his familiar scent for a moment.
"Aren't you one? You didn't come to haunt me for all the times I kicked your ass in front of your friends during training?" You ask with a cheeky smirk, moving away from him. He rolls his eyes at you dramatically and gives you a nudge in the side.
"No, but if I die first, know that it's the first thing I'll do as a ghost." You laugh, shaking your head. Looking at his wide smile, you realise that you haven't felt so carefree around someone in a long time. With the Harkonnens, you always had to keep your guard up, but with Fevas... it was natural to lower your barrier a bit.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm responsible for protecting the emperor and his daughter. Since our fateful trip to Arrakis with you, Harkonnens, and the Atreides, things have been quite... boring. It's the only exciting trip I've been on since then. And a few days ago... you were amazing. I even saw the baron staring at you in pure horror. You don't know how long I will remember this picture. My people almost shit themselves with fear when you controlled us all."
"You too?" You ask with a mischievous, teasing smile, completely ignoring your surroundings.
"I admired… but I was worried about you. I went to the hospital wing, but those bald idiots wouldn't let me in. Na-Baron's order or some other shit."
"Yeah… he can be quite a pain in the ass." You nod, shifting your gaze to Feyd. He danced with Irulan. You try to ignore the pang in your heart, and without thinking much, you reach for two glasses, handing one to Fevas. The two of you make a quick toast, and you're relieved to feel the burning sensation of the alcohol masking the unexpected bitterness you feel.
"Well, since he's busy... will you allow me the immense honour of having my toes trampled by you?" You look briefly at the harpies, considering his proposition. It wouldn't hurt anyone if you will have a one dance with your old friend, right?
One of the harpies nods at you while the other two stare daggers at Irulan. And in that very moment, you decide that you will not allow yourself to become another of Na-Baron's harpies. You'd rather die than become the other jealous woman.
"I am better dancer than I used to be. You can get very surprised." You respond flirtatiously, offering him your hand. You giggle, rolling your eyes as he leans down and plants a kiss on it.
"Really? Impossible. The last time you danced with me, I had to go to a medic to heal my poor, trampled toes."
"And yet you still want to dance with me..." You reply teasingly as he leads you to the dance floor. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you a little too close to him for comfort. But neither of you care.
You think it's nice to feel seen and desired. It was certainly better to have a charming man like Fevas than to prop up the walls at a party. Sometimes being in the shadows bothered you. And even though Fevas was... too lively for you, right now you wanted to break out of your comfort zone for a moment. You knew he was perfect for this.
You didn't realise that the blue eyes of a certain Harkonnen were piercing your companion with a hateful look, which especially intensified when Fevas wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and leaned towards you to whisper in your ear.
"Guilty. But I haven't seen you in so long that it doesn't seem like such a crime, does it? We did... much braver things in the darkness of our tents, remember, my sweet death?"
"In a blur... maybe I need a reminder?" You reply in an equally suggestive tone, licking your lips. Fevas's eyes drop to your lips. He chuckles throatily, pulling you even closer to him.
"Oh, you look like you really need one. Maybe even more..."
"Exchange." A familiar, hoarse voice reaches you. Before you know it, arms wrap around your waist and pull you away from Fevas. You gasp as Feyd pushes you onto his chest, holding you tightly against him. But he's not looking at you. His gaze is fixed on the man you were dancing with a few seconds ago.
"Who is it?" He asks coldly, assessing Fevas with his eyes. You see him staring at him dispassionately, but you know from the way he tightens his grip on you that Feyd isn't even close to being calm.
"I... It does not matter…" You stop as soon as his eyes meet yours. You swallow, seeing the pure, unbridled rage.
You hiss as his grip on your waist becomes painfully tight. Feyd frowns and loosens his grip on you a little, remembering how a few days ago you were bleeding out onto the floor in this same room. And in his arms. He ordered his servants to destroy the armour he was wearing at the time. And your dress. It's a pity he couldn't erase the memory from his mind in the same way.
"I think you've forgotten who I am to you, little witch. Say it."
"I… you are the Na-Baron." He hums dissatisfyingly, shaking his head at your response.
"Try again."
"Future Baron of Giedi Prime." Your answer was again unsatisfactory to him. You shiver as you feel him press the dagger against your chest, the tip of the blade playing with the strings holding the corseted bodice of your dress together. If he used a little bit of the dress, it would expose your breasts to his view.
"Don't play stupid, or I will punish you in front of everyone. And I wish that dirty, walking pile of muscles that had his hands on you didn't see me slapping your beautiful, little ass red. In fact, I'd rather be the only one enjoying this view, so be my good girl and tell me whose remains I'll throw to my harpies tonight?"
You hold your breath at his words. Feyd couldn't visit his harpies tonight. Not when they were supposed to be busy... getting rid of the baron's corpse. You think quickly, trying to find the best way out of the situation without condemning Fevas to a certain death. Feyd's intense, urgent gaze makes you blurt out words in an act of pure panic and thoughtlessness that you have probably never said to him before.
"No."
Your words are followed by silence from him. The chatter of the guests around you and the music make his reaction a little less terrifying, but you know him too well to think he'll take your refusal to follow his orders in stride.
"What?" He asks hoarsely, staring at you in shock.
"Nobody. He... he is nobody Leave him alone. He didn't do anything." You try to quickly correct your mistake, but one look into his eyes, and you know how screwed up you are. You gasp as he pulls you to a more secluded spot, shielding the two of you from any potential onlookers.
"Since when are you the one to judge what other people deserve and what they don't? Since when do you decide for me? Since when do you oppose me? Is this your lover? Did he have you? Tell me kindly, or I'll throw you on this floor and fuck you in front of everyone until you tell me." You're trembling, not because you're afraid he'll follow through on his words, but because you WANT him to claim you in front of everyone. In front of Irulan...
"What will your princess think of you?" You ask defiantly, raising your eyebrows. His nostrils flare as he sighs. He closes his eyes and tightens his grip on your waist and his dagger. You wait patiently for his reaction, ready for anything, even for him to stab you, piercing your stupid, rapidly beating heart.
"I don't fucking care. You're mine. Should I mark you? Carve my name on your chest? Maybe it would be better if I put my heir inside you? Then no one would have any doubts about who you belong to."
"Feyd..." His name leaves your mouth faster than you think. His heart beats faster when he hears you using his name instead of his title. The madness in his eyes slowly gives way to something else. A feeling you don't recognise. "Please. Leave him."
"Who is it?"
"Old friend. Nobody important." You assure him, desperately trying to convince him that it really wasn't someone he had to worry about.
"You slept with him?" The question catches you off guard. You blush slightly, knowing full well that you can't lie to him right now. You curse alcohol for reducing your ability to come up with lies and fake stories on command.
"I... It does not matter."
He growls, staring at you intensely, as he don't want to let go of the topic. You know that the moment you give him his name, your friend will die a tragic death. It bothers you, but you're much more worried about Feyd foiling your plan by going to his harpies tonight. You thought Irulan would distract him... enough for you to finish your job. As you can see, you had to take care of Na-Baron completely by yourself tonight.
So the moment Feyd turns to find the man you were dancing with in the crowd, you grab his hand and pull him back to you. Before he says a word, you lean forward to whisper suggestively in his ear:
"He can't compare to you." You brush your nose against his cheekbone. You smile teasingly as you hear him catch his breath at your sudden, unexpected closeness.
"No?" He asks, turning his head towards you. Your noses brush against each other, and his mouth is mere inches away from yours. You lick your lips unconsciously, completely by accident. However, this does not go unnoticed by him. His pupils dilate slightly, and his breathing quickens as he waits for your response.
"No." You whisper without looking into his eyes, too scared of what you might find there. He doesn't like that you're avoiding his gaze, so he wraps his hand around your throat, forcing you to look at him as he leans over you.
"Were you planning to run away with him? Fuck in one of those hallways?" He growls furiously, trying to intimidate you and overwhelm you with his closeness.
You swallow, carefully looking at him. Your hand wanders over his armour, moving to his neck and gently wrapping around it. You pull him closer to you, so you both can feel the others breath on your lips. You stroke the skin of his neck with the pad of your thumb, still holding it in your grip.
"I just... wanted your attention." You whisper, looking into his eyes. You feel the muscles in his throat tighten as he swallows, his pupils dilating to the point that you can see only them as he stares at you, completely surprised by your behaviour towards him.
To say Feyd is shocked is an understatement. He's dazed and confused to the point that all he can do is stand in front of you and let you do whatever you want with him. He should be used to you constantly surprising him, but even in his wildest fantasies, he didn't expect that you would be so eager to press your body against his to tease him in the same way he teased you. Feyd is not stupid. He knows your actions have a purpose—an ulterior motive that he honestly didn't care about as long as you had your hands and mouth on him.
"So what will you do now? Once you have it?" He asks, licking his lips as you look up at him through your eyelashes. His heart skips a beat when he sees your gaze linger on his plump lips for a moment. You both take deeper, shorter breaths, slowly closing the distance left between you.
"Come with me and see for yourself, Na-Baron." You whisper against his lips. Feyd growls at how cruelly you are teasing him. He had never wanted to pin someone against a wall and kiss them hard and deep as much as he wanted to do it with you now.
"You didn't answer the question. Who am I for you?" He asks, moving his hand from your neck to the hair at the nape of your neck. He pulls your head back and starts placing kisses on your jaw.
You tighten your grip around his neck and press him against the wall. Feyd blinks at you in surprise, but before he can say anything, you place a finger on his full lips and shush him. He trembles as you trace the bone of his jaw with your tongue, biting into it.
"My lord. My Na-Baron... my master." You whisper against his pale skin, effectively stripping Feyd of any little inhibitions or patience he had left for you.
You moan as his lips crash against yours. Your nails dig into his neck as he grabs the sides of your chest and pulls you onto the balcony. The metal door closes behind you with a loud bang. You gasp as you feel the cool, rough metal against the bare skin of your exposed back. This feeling quickly disappears under the sensations you feel thanks to the lips and tongue of your Na-Baron, who took advantage of your moment of surprise and sneaked into your mouth, exploring it eagerly.
You wrap your tongue around his, fighting him for dominance, moaning as he presses his body against yours. His hands deftly untie the strings of your dress at the back, loosening your corset. He pulls the fabric aside, moving his lips from yours to your neck, collarbones, and breasts. You groan, leaning your head against the door and digging your nails into the back of his head.
"Your princess is probably waiting for you." You mumble, closing your eyes as his tongue curls around your nipple. He sucks on it, biting it every now and then, making you squeal loudly as he cups his hand around your other breast and massages it, teasing your other nipple at the same time.
You're completely fucked under his touch—well, not so much that you don't remember how much fun the bastard was having with the princess just a few moments ago. You scream as he suddenly slaps your breast in a punishment.
"I only have one princess I want to please. And it's definitely not Lady Corrino." He says this before pressing his lips against yours. You moan as his hands tangle in your hair, and he tilts your head to give him better access to your mouth. You kiss him back with an equally burning passion, feeling the fire of desire ignite inside you with each of his touches.
"Lady? Since when have you been a gentleman?" You ask mockingly as he moves his mouth to your neck, nipping at it and littering it with hickeys.
“Would you prefer it if I called her a whore? Maybe I should really claim you right in front of her... Would that calm down your beautiful, burning jealousy, my little witch?” You growl at him, moving your hand to his hardening length and squeezing him painfully. He groans against your neck and bites into you in retaliation, making you let out a hollow scream.
"I'm not jealous. I can always go to Fevas for pleasure if you're too fascinated by the princess to notice anything else." You huff, not wanting to give him any satisfaction by letting him know that his closeness to Irulan bothers you. But why do you feel envy while watching them two together? That was your plan. He was supposed to finally leave you alone. So why is it that when the opportunity presents itself for him to become interested in someone else, you desperately cling to him and pull him towards you?
"Hm... so this is your mysterious man? Fevas..." You tense up when you hear him repeat your friend's name. You cup his cheeks in your hands, forcing him to look at you.
"Don't kill him." You ask him, knowing full well that he will refuse. But despite everything, you cling to this stupid hope, not knowing why you care so much about keeping Fevas alive.
"Why?"
"Because I ask you. Please." For the first time, you look at him desperately, knowing full well that all you can do is beg him to change his mind. Because if Feyd Rautha Harkonnen decides that someone is going to die, then even the Grim Reaper won't be able to save the poor man from him.
"Do you love him?" You know the answer to his question perfectly. However, it scares you too much to say out loud what you think and to admit to him and to yourself what you have been running away from for so many years. Apparently ineffective, since your first response was supposed to be:
No. I love you. And it's ruining my life.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, you weren't stupid or brave enough to say it to his face.
"I am a Bene Gesserit. I don't love anyone." You answer coldly and without emotion. He stares at you for a moment before pushing you away from him. He no longer looks you in the eyes, though his eyes are still glued to your half-naked form. He stays in silent reverie for a moment, then breaks it with a bitter, hoarse laugh, shaking his head.
"And I am a Harkonnen. We don't obey anyone." He growls impassively and pushes you away to get to the door. He returns to the party, closing the metal door behind him with a loud bang.
You shiver as you are left completely alone on the balcony. You try to swallow your humiliation and hurt pride and tie your dress to gain back some of your dignity. Once you've improved your appearance enough to show yourself to other people, you decide to leave to join Feyd's harpies in the dungeons. Along the way, you try to ignore how Feyd flirts recklessly with Princess Irulan.
It will be better this way.
You repeat it to yourself like a new mantra or slogan. Or at least that's how you try to drown out the cries of your wounded heart, which desperately begs your mind for a little mercy.
But if you learned anything from Feyd Rautha, it was that mercy was an overrated thing.
And if you've learned anything today... it was that you have truly become Feyd Rautha's fourth harpy.
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If it wasn't a sign of weakness, you would have covered your nose to avoid inhaling the disgusting smell that lingered in the dungeons. You might have expected that the harpies would show no mercy to the baron. You weren't here to save him yourself. Just the opposite...
"The little witch looks angry…"
"The little witch was right, we are having a lot of fun."
"Does the little witch want to join?"
You give them a sadistic, proud smirk when you see the baron's condition. You shake your head and address them as sweetly as you can.
"Maybe in a moment. I don't want to take away all the fun from you. Can you leave us alone for a short while?" The women nod at you and slowly leave the room, keeping a close eye on the barely surviving baron. You wrinkle your nose as the door closes behind them. You take a few steps towards Harkonnen and stop right in front of the large pool of blood that has formed from all the wounds inflicted on him.
"So it's you… I thought my nephew was responsible for this. Ironic… get rid of me with one of my gifts to him."
"I think we both can agree that Feyd would be more than capable of it. After everything you did to him… I'm surprised he didn't try this ages ago." You reply indifferently, taking great satisfaction in seeing him like this—on the verge of death.
"You don't know our ways, witch. You may have studied and lived with us for years, observing from the shadows, but you know nothing about the Harkonnens." You tense up, offended, and angry at his words, but you do your best not to let it show. You came here to enjoy the death of the most disgusting man you have ever met. You won't let him spoil this solemn moment.
"Possible. But I know enough to convince the court and the great houses, and even the emperor himself, that the Fremen are behind your sudden, unfortunate death. Besides... I doubt anyone would cry over you."
"The same goes for you, witch. My nephew did well to make you his right hand. I'm sure he'll get rid of you as quickly and suddenly as he took you in. Harkonnens don't take wives. We have no equals. Whatever you think, you are living in pathetic delusion. You'll end up just like me. Or the boy will hand you over to these old women when he gets bored of you." A cold shiver runs down your spine at his words.
You had considered such a scenario several times, but the Baron and your interaction with Feyd today made you realise that you had to consider this turn of events to be... the most likely to happen. You guess you have to prepare for suddenly leaving Giedi Prime... and Feyd's side. Your heart clenches painfully just thinking about it.
"That's very possible. But at least I survived you." You answer and take out the dagger that you managed to steal from Fevas. You take aim and, with a small smirk, throw it, hitting the baron's throat. You were too disgusted to lay even a finger on him, in order to hurt him. You turn away and leave the room without giving him a second glance, knowing full well that Feyd's harpies will take the revange for anything he did to his nephew better than you. "Ladies! You can finish now." You announce this to the harpies as you leave the cell.
They scream excitedly and almost rush back towards the baron. You walk forward, but a sudden pull on your hands stops you. You raise a questioning eyebrow at the oldest concubine.
"The little witch shouldn't listen to this old man. The master likes the little witch very much. He threatened to kill us if we did anything to her." You frown at her sudden confession, but you don't question why she's doing it. You decide to brush it off.
"I think we both know that he... likes to break his favourite toys only by himself."
"But not a little witch. When the little witch was bleeding, the master became furious. The master almost killed his uncle when he ordered him to kill the little witch. The master watched over the little witch until the doctors said that the little witch would survive. And he told us to guard her door while he went away to kill the people who hurt her."
"I… I really appreciate you telling me this. Join your sisters. I'm sure you don't want to miss the feast."
"Little witch." She calls after you. You turn to look at her. "We can share the master with the little witch, but not with the princess." A smile creeps onto your face. Hearing that from her is the best compliment she can give.
"I'm afraid neither of us has any say in the matter."
"The little witch is smart. The little witch is too smart to think like that. The little witch has to know that the master is crazy about her from the begining." You blush at her words, your stupid heart speeds up, and your too vivid imagination presents you with various scenarios of what could have happened if Feyd... had claimed you at the very beginning. But you couldn't turn back time. You didn't want to.
"Desire makes us weak."
"Maybe. But it is also very pleasant." You smile and nod. She responds in kind and disappears behind the cell door. After the baron's scream, which is muffled by the door, you come to the conclusion that he is clearly saying goodbye to this world. Just as he should. Alone. At the hands of women whom he mentally destroyed to make them good pets, whose task was to arouse his nephew's cruelty and bloodlust.
While walking through the corridors, you come across one of the servants. He tells you that the Na-Baron requests your presence in his chambers. You frown, convinced that the last thing Feys wants to do today is to have you close to him, but you head towards the familiar rooms.
After a very short walk, you reach his chambers and open the door. You stand frozen in his doorway at the sight that greets you.
Fevas is chained. His hands are chained to the ceiling as he is hanging above the floor. His chest is cut multiple times, and his blood drips onto the white fabric placed beneath him. You tense up as Feyd's hands are on your shoulders, holding you firmly in place as you stare at the unconscious, bloody man who is either dead or within a whisker of death.
"What the hell is this?" You growl angrily, trying to turn to look at him. Feyd, however, holds your waist tightly and grips your jaw, making sure you keep your eyes on Fevas.
"I thought you'd appreciate seeing your secret lover after I brutally separated you. Where have you been? Looking for him? Maybe you were supposed to run away together, but he didn't come?"
"I leave you alone for a few minutes, and you start creating absurd stories and tormenting a poor, innocent man?" You mock him. His grip on your waist tightens as he gets more furious with every passing second.
"A man who had the privilege of enjoying what was not his." He corrects you, growling hoarsely into your ear.
"I'm not yours either. Will you kill Irulan's former lovers too?" You ask sarcastically, struggling against his grip. He growls in your ear, shaking you gently but keeping his grip on you firmly.
"I don't care about that royal bitch."
"You should. After all, she is your future wife. The mother of your heirs..." He doesn't let you finish. He tightens his grip on your throat, preventing you from speaking, and pushes you against the wall, pressing your body against his. You shudder as you see him gasp in rage, glaring daggers at you.
You tremble as you feel his fingers spread Frevas' blood on your neck. He breathes heavily, tightening his grip. He leans forward and presses a bruising, aggressive kiss on your lips. You know this is supposed to be a punishment for you, but you can't help but moan and clutch his arms as he kisses you so intensely, pulling all the oxygen out of your lungs.
You gasp, noticing a strange ache in your neck as his lips continue to caress yours, but you choose to ignore it. For a moment, you forget about anything other than him. Even the metallic smell of blood lingering in the room fades away with the feeling of his lips on you.
His other hand moves under your skirt, his fingertips gently caressing your thigh, avoiding the dagger attached there as his hand slowly climbs up your leg. You moan into his mouth as his fingers tease your pussy through the fabric of your wet underwear.
He breaks the kiss, kissing the line of your jaw. You breathe heavily, whimpering softly as he continues to work on your clit, peppering your face with kisses at the same time. You dig your fingers into his arms, desperately holding onto him as you grind against him, chasing the release he's denied you for days.
His fingers wander under your underwear, making you moan louder. Your forehead leans onto his shoulder as you gasp as he ruthlessly pushes his three thick fingers into you.
"My little witch is so quiet and obedient when full of fingers. I'm sure if I impaled you on my cock, if you had kept it deep inside you day and night, you wouldn't even dare to think about letting someone else take your place, right? Maybe that's what I should do? Maybe I need to breed you and fill your lower lips so that the other ones will shut up and stop talking nonsense?"
"Feyd..." A needy moan of his name escapes from you before you can bite your lip. All you can do is hold on to him for dear life, wrapping your legs around his waist as he keeps you pinned to the wall and on his toes.
"You make such beautiful sounds... it's a pity you've been acting like a brat lately instead of like my good girl. You understand that, in this situation, I cannot reward you." He mocks you, pulling away from you moments before you reach your peak.
You growl at him angrily and reach out to finish what he didn't want, but he grabs your wrists and pins them to the wall, grinding his crotch against yours, teasing your desperate, abused pussy even more. You scream, trying to fight him. He effectively silences you, kissing you hard, chastisingly, and biting your lower lip until it bleeds. You are at his complete mercy. And dear Lord, you would let him do anything if that meant that he would let you cum.
He presses his body against yours and holds your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. He leans down and licks the tears of frustration from your cheeks, sloppily licking your face at his discretion.
"Can you think for a moment or have I finally made you think with just your needy pussy? Is this what you want? For me to take another woman? For me to treat her the way I treat you? For me to leave you on this damn desert? Because I can, Y/N. I can fuck the other women, become emperor the easy way, and give you damn Arrakis, but you have to look me in the eyes and tell me that's what you really want."
You stare at him in shock as he continues to hold you close to him. This is what you wanted—exactly that scenario and turn of events. You could have been finally free—free from all of Bene Gesserit's prophecies and plans.
"I... You would let me stay here? Would you let me be the governor of Arrakis? You would marry Irulan?" You ask, disbelieving that he would ever let you go from his grasp, convinced that he would rather kill you than let you leave his side.
"If that's what you want."
"It... it is..." You say this, feeling a lump growing in your throat. Your heart beats insanely fast as you desperately try to convince everyone—you, him, and your stupid heart, which is begging you to change your mind—that this is exactly what you want.
But you had definitely come too far to slip into his arms at the end and become his wife, concubine, or whatever he wanted you to be, just because you were horny for him. Desire makes us weak. But was it just lust that connected you with him?
"No. Not like that. Look at me and tell me exactly what you want me to do, my little witch." He orders, looking at you defiantly. This is a very small payment for what he offers you. Your dream future is within your reach; all you need to do is say these few words.
"I... I want you to... to marry... I..." The lump in your throat grows. You can't say anything as you look into his icy blue eyes, which pick up on your uncertainty. But she's not the only one thing holding you back.
You physically can't speak. You can't lie to him and say you want him to marry another woman and forget about you, to leave you alone on Arrakis—a place that should have swallowed you up years ago. You just can't. Your eyes widen as you realise what he's done to you.
"You son of a bitch… Which Bene Gesserit witch gave you the truth serum?!" You ask, furious, realising what he injected into your neck during your little hot session.
"This is of little importance. I was going to use it on you and ask you about your secret lover, but he himself told me a bit about your past. With a bit of pressure from my side, of course. Now, before this miracle product stops working, look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me. I dare you. Reject me like you did countless times before, my little witch. And I will gladly leave you alone."
The smirk on his face grows with every second of your silence. Your blood boils, and you feel immense rage, pursing your lips as you glare at him with hate. What's more, the bastard has the nerve to laugh at you.
"That's exactly what I fucking thought." He growls and kisses you. His lips caress yours, tasting you as if you were the only thing that could quench his thirst. He holds you tightly as if you were the most precious thing in his possession that he is afraid to let go of, even for a moment, for fear of someone stealing you from him.
You place your hands on his shoulders and pull him closer to you, letting your lust for him take over all of your senses. There was no turning back. Not after he found out that you are not indifferent to him at all and that the future with him does not seem as scary and terrible to you as it was at the beginning.
"You had no right to treat him like that." You say this as he manoeuvres you around the room and past where Fevas is still hanging from the ceiling. He pushes you deeper into his chambers and closes his bedroom door behind you.
"As if you wouldn't do the same to the emperor's daughter, if you could…" He responds sarcastically, stripping off his armour and not wasting a moment, as if he were afraid you would change your mind and start fighting him again.
"Shut up." You use the voice on him with a cocky smirk. He lifts his head, staring at you in surprise. You step back, sitting on the bed, keeping your gaze on him the entire time. "On your knees." You order in a low, suggestive tone of voice, not hiding your smirk as he is forced to obey your command right away. "Come to me." You command him, your eyes glistening dangerously as you notice his length twitch beneath his loincloth. "Good boy." You say teasingly, stroking his head as he kneels between your legs.
"Are you aware of what kind of dangerous game you are playing right now, my little witch?"
"If I were still a full-fledged Bene Gesserit, I would probably put you to the gom-jabbar test of humanity right now. You put your hand in the box, and you feel unimaginable pain until you prove that your awareness is stronger than your instincts. I'm sure Irulan or another Bene Gesserit was assigned to do this to you. I barely managed to stop one of them from giving you... a drug that would make it easier for her to convince you to extend your bloodline through her womb. Back to the topic... we both know how this test would end for you, right? How quickly would you get horny? How quickly would you tremble for release? How quickly would you show me that you love it when I hurt you, my Na-Baron?"
"Don't torment me, witch. You've been doing this for too long." He growls, moving his hands to your legs and pushing the fabric of your dress higher as he exposes your legs to him.
"You're right… why put your hand in a box when it can be useful elsewhere? Undress me." He laughs hoarsely, having no choice but to obey your command.
"You don't have to use the voice on me to make me follow this kind of orders."
"I thought the Harkonnens did not obey anyone?" You ask defiantly, raising an eyebrow at him as he licks his lips, carefully examining every inch of your (finally) exposed skin.
"I thought the Bene Gesserit didn't love anyone?"
You did not answer. You lean down, cupping his cheeks in your hands, and kiss him passionately, finally allowing yourself to express all the feelings and desires you had been hiding deep inside for so long.
"I need to feel you." He growls, pushing you onto your back. He climbs up you, placing kisses all over your body until he's hovering just above your face. He stares at you for a moment, spreads out beneath him, ready to finally take him in, and decides that his fantasies are a poor comparison to the real thing.
You both moan, resting your foreheads against each other as his pre-cum, leaking hard length, rubs against your wet entrance. You wrap your legs around his hips. You run your hand down his spine, sinking your nails into his neck as he abuses yours, kissing, nipping, and marking it as his property.
And when he is finally about to unite you and get rid of the tension between you for good, someone knocks on his door. He groans in protest and leans in to kiss you to shush you when you let out an uncontrollable laugh at his reaction to the sudden interruption.
"You should go." You say as you manage to place your hand on his chest and gently push him away from you. "This could be something important."
"Woman… how much patience I spent on you…" He growls, pressing his forehead against your temple. The knocking on the door is more insistent. His brother calls out to him furiously, and you can't help but smile as you watch his internal struggle.
Seeing your amusement, he spanks your pussy. You scream, trying to block out the sound against his shoulder so that only Feyd can hear it and not his brother, who is banging on the door. He chuckles, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling your scent.
"Stay here. Don't move an inch. I will be right back. If I don't find you in this bed naked and ready for me, I will beat that ass of yours red. You won't be able to leave these chambers for a month." He gives you a threatening warning. You roll your eyes and pull him into a kiss, teasing him and pulling away from him in a moment when he wanted to deepen it.
"I'll be waiting." You promise, out of breath after the kiss. "On the way, tell your servants to take Fevas to the infirmary."
"Next time I will kill him without hesitation. Or any other lover of yours."He promises as he puts on his clothes. You crawl to the edge of the bed and help him put his armour on faster.
"I am very aware of this, my Na-Baron." You reply snidely, still kneeling on the bed and dressing him. He rolls his eyes at you and smirks mischievously as he reaches up to pinch your nipples. You squeal, punching his shoulder. He laughs and cups your cheeks, pulling you in for one last kiss.
"I'll be back in a minute." He promises and leaves, making sure to close the door behind him quickly enough so that no one has a chance to look inside and see you naked in his bed. After all, this was a view reserved only for him.
You fall onto the bed, giggling stupidly like a teenager, as you wonder what his reaction will be to having the opportunity to fuck you as the Baron of Giedi Prime.
A cold chill runs through you as you hear footsteps in the main room. You downplay it, thinking that it was the servants who came to clean up the mess Feyd made, but too much silence starts to make you suspicious. You stand up and put on some clothes before reaching for the knife attached to your thigh.
You open the door and slowly leave the room. Fevas was gone, but something was still bothering you, giving you a strange feeling of being observed. You could feel someone's presence on your back.
You avoid a sudden attack from behind and quickly cut your attacker's throat. Before you can turn around, you receive a powerful kick in the back. You stumble and fall forward, but quickly get back up, taking in your surroundings. Three women dressed entirely in black slowly surround you, each of them armed to the teeth. You tense up, ready to use the voice, but just as you're about to, you're grabbed from behind.
You only manage to stab your attacker before a cloth is placed against your nose. You struggle, trying to fight the women as hard as you can before the sedative takes effect. After a few moments, however, darkness enveloped you. But before you lose consciousness completely, you notice the familiar Bene Gesserit symbol tattooed on the women's wrists.
What catches your eye most before you hit the floor is the familiar skirt of Princess Irulan's dress.
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To be continued...
Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @harkonnin @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896 @oneandonlybbygrl @noirecatt
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chxncinth · 13 days
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Sugar and Spice
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pairing: jealous dom bf!jeno x fem!reader
plot: you never would have thought that an innocent evening out to your favorite restaurant in the city would lead to your boyfriend punching the living daylights out of a man and then driving back home to fuck you to edge of your wits, but here we are.
genre: angst, fluff, smut (MDNI!!!)
warnings: p in v, vibrators, oral (m. receiving), no protection (wrap it before you tap it!), choking, slight manhandling, mirror sex, bondage, breeding kink, creampie, facial, overstimulation, squirting, daddy kink, nicknames
wc: 2.6k
notes: yeah… idk what happened here but i’m back!
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With a hint of a smile playing on his lips and a hand on the small of your back, Jeno led you to your usual table in the corner of the restaurant.
You took your seat in the chair he pulled out for you, thanking him softly. He sat down across from you and took your hand that was resting on top of the table, running the pad of his thumb across the back.
A relaxing dinner was just what needed now, especially after a long day at your work. Good for you that you just so happened to have a boyfriend who was always lucky. Jeno had called the restaurant just 15 minutes before you two started the drive downtown and somehow managed to secure your table even on a busy Friday night. You have no clue how he did it but you definitely weren’t complaining.
A waiter came to your table and the two of you ordered a bottle of red wine along with some canapés to start off while you continued to browse through the main courses. 
The light orchestra music in the background was the perfect accompaniment to your conversation about your week. Just as you were beginning to talk about how one of the partners at your law firm had received a DUI case and had pushed you to take care of it despite the hefty pile of cases on your desk, a man came over to your table.
“Hi,” he said, ignoring Jeno and only looking at you. A sleazy smile took over the stranger’s face. “I saw you walk in from the other side of the restaurant and couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you look. If you want, I can definitely show you a better night than this guy.” He finally addressed a seething Jeno with a slight tilt of his neck. 
Jeno abruptly stood up, facing the man. “Hi. You must be blind because I’m the one she’s here with, not you. So do us all a favor and get your tiny dicked self back over to your own table. She’s not interested.”
You were simply amused at that point, enjoying how jealous Jeno got over you. He was usually so put-together and polite that seeing this side of him every so-often had detrimental effects on your body— you could already feel the heat building down there.
The stranger scoffed and eyed your boyfriend up and down. “Man, who the fuck are you talking about? The lady can speak for herself.”
You dryly looked up at him and tilted your head. “The lady says you’re too ugly,” you said and then scanned his body, zeroing in on his crotch. “And too small.”
The man’s eyes flared with anger and he took a step toward you, hand raised and open, ready to slap you. “You bitch—!” 
You flinched but he was promptly cut off by Jeno landing a punch to the side of his face. Your eyes widened and after a moment of stunned silence you finally stood up to hold onto Jeno to make sure the situation didn’t escalate anymore. The man stumbled slightly and groaned but before he could do or say anything else, Jeno grabbed your belongings and dragged you out of the restaurant to your car. 
The two of you got in and you immediately turned to him to make sure he was ok. Aside from a small cut and swelling on his knuckles, he seemed to be fine. You became surprised when he suddenly pulled his hand away from yours and started driving back to your house. His face was stony and his fist was closed so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. 
“Baby—“
“Not now.”
You took the hint and remained quiet for the rest of your drive, staring down at your hands that were still slightly trembling after the events. You had been scared even though you knew Jeno would never let anyone hurt you.
When you arrived home and walked inside, ready to grab a quick snack and put the night behind you, Jeno grabbed your arm and dragged you into your bedroom. He closed the door behind the two of you, pushing you down onto the bed with one hand and pulling off his tie to throw it onto the ground with his other. He stood in front of you and unbuttoned his shirt halfway before he let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair in anger.
“Fuck baby, I’m still so mad… can’t believe he tried to fucking hit you,” Jeno said, leaning down and pulling you in by the back of your neck so that your lips could meet in a bruising kiss. “You’re mine and only mine. No one else’s, isn’t that right?”
You whimpered softly and nodded, hand moving up to tangle into his hair as his own moved down your body and spread your legs open to rub you over your panties. 
“Didn’t even get to try these out tonight, huh?” He said, talking about your panties. They were special— vibrating ones— that Jeno had gotten for you and the two of you had a plan to try them out tonight only for it to be ruined. “That’s fine, we can try them out now.”
Your eyes widened as he stepped backwards and opened your locked drawer to pull out some rope. 
“Jeno, please—“
“Strip for me princess. Quickly.”
You decided to not go against his orders tonight, your brain too tired to deal with his usual punishments. You pulled the dress and lacy bra you were wearing up and over your head and threw the both of them onto the ground. Jeno smirked in satisfaction at your compliance and moved towards you, taking your arms and tying them together tightly behind you. 
He then grabbed the remote from his pocket and clicked down on it once. The sudden vibrations had you gasping, body shaking at the intensity. 
“God, I would’ve given anything to see you like this at the restaurant. Eating your food and sipping on your wine while trying so hard to act like you weren’t on the verge of cumming for me. Lay down for me baby.”
You took a deep breath and laid down on your back, staring as your devilishly handsome boyfriend took a step towards you, unbuckling his belt. You moaned softly and closed your eyes, the vibrations from your panties leaving you right on the edge of your orgasm, but not enough to tip you over. 
“Come on baby, cum for me. Then I’ll let you have whatever you want.” Jeno outstretched his hand and slowly trailed his fingers from your stomach up— chest, collarbones, neck, chin— he left a burning sensation along your skin and you couldn’t help but moan louder, begging for more of anything he was willing to give you. He smiled in response, enjoying effect he had on you. Jeno leaned down to nip your neck, alternating between small licks and bites, just the way you liked it. Suddenly you were hurtling towards your climax, gasping at the intense feeling. You came for him just as he captured your lips in a kiss, your broken moans of pleasure being swallowed up by him greedily. He wanted it all. 
You smiled dazedly once you came down from your high and then looked at your boyfriend to see that he was still clothed. The intense feeling of want rushed back to you. “Jeno, please… need your cock.”
Jeno grinned as he fiddled with the zipper of his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers so that his cock sprung up and slapped against his abs. He was extremely hard, the veins along his cock so prominent that you were salivating just at the thought of him being inside of you eventually. You sat up slightly and leaned forward to let a glob of spit fall onto his cockhead. Jeno groaned and grabbed your hair in his fist to pull you further forward. 
“Fuck baby, is my good girl gonna suck me off? You just came for me and now you’re gonna let me take your throat?” he said, tilting his head back with a smirk as he watched how desperate you were for him. He loved this, the control he had on you in the bedroom, the way you would let him do anything to you because you knew it would lead to mind-numbing pleasure. 
You nodded brokenly as you stuck your tongue out, the muscle tracing along his veins and then eventually closing your mouth around him. He grabbed onto your hair and pulled your head towards him, his cock pushing further into your mouth. You tried to relax to take him in deeper and tried your best not to gag. 
“God, all of your holes are so wet and tight princess,” he grunted out while he used his hand that was fisted in your hair to continue to move your mouth along his dick. “All for me. Gonna cum on your pretty little face and then you’ll lick it up, won’t ya?”
You moaned and bobbed your head up and down in a nod, desperately fighting against the ropes that restrained your hands. Jeno used you as much as he wanted, thrusting in and out of your mouth. The mental image of all of his cum painted on your face was enough to push him to the edge and he pulled you off his cock as he started to use his hand to cum. 
“Gonna cum for you baby, don’t waste it yeah?” 
You hummed and closed your eyes as you opened your mouth. Jeno groaned as he came, strings of his cum falling all over your face, some of it even landing in your hair and on your tits. You swallowed what landed in your mouth and grinned dopily at him when your tongue flicked out to lap up some drops.
“Please fuck me, Daddy,” you say, eyelashes fluttering up at him. Jeno grins and moves to take off the ropes around your wrists amused with how much you needed him. You immediately pull off your soiled panties and toss them to the side. 
“Is one orgasm not enough for you Y/N?” he asks as he pushes you to lay down on the bed. He crawls towards you and fists his cock slightly— he was hard again. 
“When has one ever been enough for me? Wanna take your cock and cum all over it,” you gasp slightly as he lines himself up with your sopping wet entrance and pushes in slowly, the stretch from just the tip burning in the most delicious way possible. 
Jeno smirks and leans down to whisper in your ear as he bottoms out, barely giving you a chance to adjust before he’s pulling out and pushing in again. “I’ll let you do that and I’ll give you all of my cum as well. Gonna get you nice an’ round an’ full of me, how’s that sound princess?”
There’s no way you can respond to him because Jeno starts fucking into you at what could only be described as an animalistic pace. The headboard hits the wall loudly with each thrust and your nails are scratching all over his back, trying to hold on for dear life. Jeno growls and pushes your legs up move next to his ears. He loved fucking you in a mating press, the position letting him fuck you as deep as possible. Jeno grunted as your hand trailed down to touch your chest, pinching and pulling on your nipples for extra stimulation. 
“Fuck baby, you look perfect for me like this,” Jeno groaned at the sight of you. Your makeup was completely ruined from a mixture of his cum and your tears and your mascara left black tracks along your cheeks. Your lips were parted in a perfect ‘O’ as Jeno repeatedly fucked into you deeper, his balls slapping against your ass. 
Jeno suddenly pulled out from you, causing you to clench around nothing and whimper at the loss. He pulled you up and carried you over to the dressing table, flipping you over so that you were lying on the surface and could see yourself in the mirror. 
“Needed ya’ to see how perfect you look for me,” Jeno said as he pushed back inside of you and continued fucking into you as if he never stopped. Your head started to droop down, but Jeno didn’t let it, his hand coming up to close around your neck and keep your head up. “Nuh-uh baby, gotta keep lookin’ at yourself. Keep lookin’ at me fuck you.”
You let out a scream at a particularly hard thrust. It made you see stars, head dizzy from the amount of pleasure you were being given in such a short amount of time. “Ngh, Jeno baby… please!”
“Please what princess? Wanna cum already?” His hand around your neck tightened slightly, cutting off some of your oxygen supply and making you feel even more lightheaded in the best way possible. All of your senses became heightened and you nodded frantically as you felt that familiar ball of tension in your lower stomach grow tighter and tighter with each thrust. 
“Alright baby, you’ve been so good all day. Cum for me.”
You screamed as you came, your orgasm being one of the most intense ones you’d ever had in your life. Jeno fucked you through it and groaned as you continued to twitch and unconsciously clench tighter around him. You looked down to see that you hadn’t just came around him, but you had squirted everywhere. Now it made sense why that orgasm was more earth-shattering than usual. 
“God, Y/N, you make it so hard to stop fucking you,” Jeno said as he kept thrusting into you, letting go of his grip around your neck in order to grab your hips and piston himself in and out of you. You let out a combination of screams and moans at how overstimulated you were but Jeno didn’t stop his thrusts. He was determined to cum in you. You let your head drop down onto the surface of the dressing table, mouth falling open and drooling as your moans never stopped.
“Mm, Daddy, gon’ cum again!” Your noises fell in line with Jeno’s as his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier. His hand sneaked around your body and he started to rub your swollen clit in time with each thrust. 
“I’m cumming with you baby. Gonna paint your pretty pussy walls white with my cum,” Jeno grunted into your ear as the two of you fell apart again. His cum shot into you as you gripped around him impossibly tighter. 
As you came down from your highs, your eyes drooped and Jeno carried you over to the bed, still in you. He pulled out when he laid you down on the bed, watching the mixture of both of your cum drip out of your puffy pussy. He scooped it up with his fingers and gently pushed it back in, fucking it in slightly while he looked up at you.  
“Don’t let a drop go to waste, yeah? I told you I was gonna get you all pregnant for me and I can’t wait baby.”
You giggled softly and with the little energy you had left in you, your hand moved up to comb through your boyfriend’s hair. “I can’t wait either.”
Jeno grinned, grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
He stood up and walked into your bathroom to grab a towel that he wet in the sink. He came back and started to wipe your body down, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to move any more. 
“Let’s get you cleaned up and then we can sleep, ok?”
You nodded, a smile on your lips as your eyes gradually fluttered shut, feelings of warmth and happiness floating around in the air.
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518 notes · View notes
raekensluver · 2 months
Text
a guarded romance (2)
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part 1
description: you are a famous billionaire's daughter and your father has hired you a new bodyguard. his name is spencer reid and he used to be a part of the fbi's behavior analysis unit.
pairing: bodyguard!spencer reid x famous!reader
contains: 18+, Minors DNI, talks of parental death, age gap (everyone is 18+), fingering, oral sex (m and f receiving), p in v, p in v from behind, sir kink, unprotected sex.
song rec: shameless by camillia cabello- "i need you more than i want to,"
w.c: 4.5k
an: i'm not sure on how i feel about this but i'm confident enough to post it! i appreciate all feedback! please comment on what you thought!!
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the drive home was quiet, the only sound the hum of the tires on the asphalt. spencer's eyes never left the road, his focus unwavering as he navigated the winding driveway leading to the mansion. the headlights swept across the lush, manicured lawns, casting eerie shadows on the grand façade.
once the car was parked in the cavernous underground garage, spencer was out before you could blink, his movements swift and precise. he opened your door with a courteous nod, his hand outstretched to help you step out. the cool air was a stark contrast to the stuffy gala, sending goosebumps racing across your skin.
his hand was firm yet gentle as he helped you out, his eyes scanning the garage before nodding towards the elevator. "after you, miss," he said, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves.
as the elevator whisked you up to the main floor, you leaned against the cool metal wall, feeling the weight of the evening pressing down on you. spencer remained silent, his eyes on the numbers as they climbed, his jaw set in a firm line.
you took a deep breath, the sudden need to express your gratitude overwhelming you. "reid," you began, your voice shaky. "i just wanted to thank you. for everything tonight."
his eyes met yours, the intensity in them making your heart flutter. "it's my job, miss," he said, but there was something more in his voice, a warmth that didn't usually accompany his professional demeanor.
you felt the elevator come to a gentle stop, the ding echoing in the quiet space. "it's more than that," you insisted, your voice barely above a whisper. "you didn't have to… lie for me like that."
spencer's gaze remained on the elevator doors, his expression thoughtful. "i didn't lie," he said, his voice even. "i told you i'd support you, and that's what i did."
you felt a lump form in your throat, his words resonating with something deep inside you. "but what about my father?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "he'll never believe that i'm engaged."
spencer's eyes flicked to yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "leave that to me," he said, his voice filled with a surprising warmth. "i've dealt with more stubborn people than your dad."
you couldn't help but smile back, feeling a sudden camaraderie with this man who had been forced into your life. "thank you," you said, the words feeling sincere for the first time.
spencer's eyes searched yours, a silent understanding passing between you. "don't mention it," he said, his voice gentle. "now, let's get you inside and out of those uncomfortable shoes."
you stepped out of the elevator and onto the plush carpet of the mansion, the weight of the evening's events slowly lifting from your shoulders. spencer walked alongside you, his stride matching yours, his eyes still scanning the surroundings despite the late hour.
as you reached the grand staircase leading to your private wing, you paused, unable to shake the feeling that something had changed between you. you turned to face him, his gaze meeting yours. there was a moment of silence, the air thick with unspoken words and unexplored feelings.
"reid," you began, your voice tentative. "i know i've been… difficult. but i do appreciate you being here."
his eyes searched yours, the corners crinkling slightly with the beginnings of a smile. "you're not difficult, miss carter," he said gently. "you're just trying to live your life on your terms."
his words hit you like a soft punch to the gut, the truth in them resonating deep within you. you nodded, feeling a sudden urge to confide in him. "it's just… hard, you know?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "being the daughter of such a powerful man, everyone has expectations of me. i feel like i'm constantly being judged."
spencer's expression softened, his eyes searching yours with a gentle understanding. "i know," he said, his voice low. "but you don't have to carry that burden alone. i'm here for you, not just as your bodyguard, but as someone you can trust."
his words washed over you, filling you with a warmth that had been missing for so long. "i… i think i can do that," you said, your voice shaky. "trust you, i mean."
spencer's smile grew, the warmth in his eyes unmistakable. "i'll do my best not to disappoint," he said, his tone earnest. "now, let's get you to your room."
his hand rested on the small of your back as you made your way up the grand staircase, the chandelier above casting a warm glow across the marble steps. your heart raced, not from fear, but from the unfamiliar feeling of having someone truly on your side. the weight of the evening's events seemed to lessen with each step, his presence a comforting anchor in the sea of uncertainty.
once you reached your suite, spencer paused, his hand lingering for a moment before dropping away. "goodnight, miss carter," he said, his voice formal yet filled with genuine concern.
you felt a sudden pang of loneliness, the grandeur of the mansion feeling more like a prison than a home. "reid," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "could you… stay for a bit?"
his eyes searched yours, the question hanging in the air between you. "are you sure?" he asked, his voice gentle. "i don't want to overstep."
you nodded, your grip on the banister tightening. "i'm sure," you said, the words surprising even you. "i just… i don't want to be alone right now."
spencer's expression softened, the unspoken tension between you dissipating slightly. "of course," he said, his voice gentle. "i'll stay as long as you need."
you walked into the massive walk-in closet, the rows of designer clothes and shoes a stark reminder of the life you'd been born into. the floor-to-ceiling mirror reflected spencer sitting on the armchair by the door, his eyes on the book he'd pulled from his pocket. you felt a strange comfort knowing he was there, his presence a silent reassurance.
the cool air kissed your bare back as you unzipped the dress, the fabric sliding down your body like a whispered goodbye. you stepped out of it, the red fabric pooling around your feet like a lake of regret. you pulled on a pair of comfortable pajamas, the soft fabric wrapping around you like a warm embrace.
sinking onto the edge of the bed, you turned to spencer, his eyes never leaving his book. "it's always been like this," you began, your voice barely above a murmur. "my father, i mean. ever since my mother… passed."
his eyes flicked up to meet yours, the understanding in them making your throat tighten. "i know," he said gently, setting the book aside. "it's not easy losing a parent."
you nodded, the lump in your throat making it difficult to speak. "my father's always been… overprotective," you managed to say. "i've never had a boyfriend who lasted more than a couple of dates because he's always found some reason to not approve."
spencer leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "i understand," he said, his voice gentle. "it's his way of trying to keep you safe."
you scoffed, pulling your knees to your chest. "safe?" you repeated, the bitterness in your voice clear. "i feel like i'm in a cage."
spencer's eyes remained on yours, his expression filled with empathy. "i can imagine it's tough," he said, his voice gentle. "but he's just trying to protect you in the only way he knows how."
you sighed, leaning back against the plush pillows. "i know," you said, your voice weary. "but sometimes i just wish he'd let me live."
spencer's gaze never left yours, his eyes filled with understanding. "i'll talk to him," he said firmly. "i'll make sure he understands that you're an adult who deserves the freedom to make your own choices."
his words hit you like a gust of fresh air, filling you with a hope you hadn't felt in a long time. you felt the knot in your stomach loosen slightly. "you will?" you asked, your voice filled with a mix of disbelief and gratitude.
spencer nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "i will," he said, his voice firm. "you're my responsibility, and i won't let anyone, not even your father, make you feel trapped." he finished, looking back down to his book.
his words were like a balm to your soul, and before you knew it, you had sat up and walked over to him, the fabric of your pajamas whispering against the soft carpet. you stopped in front of him, your heart racing in your chest. spencer looked up from his book, his eyes widening slightly as he took in your approach.
slowly, he stood up, his movements fluid and graceful despite his size. you felt the distance between you shrink, his presence suddenly overwhelming in the quiet of the night. "reid," you said, your voice shaky. "i… i don't know what to do."
his eyes searched yours, the intensity in them making your heart race. "you do what you want to do," he said, his voice low and steady. "make choices for yourself, not for your father or anyone else."
you took a deep breath, the weight of his words settling heavily on your shoulders. and then, without thinking, you leaned in and kissed him. spencer's eyes widened in surprise, his book slipping from his hand, but his arms came around you almost instinctively, pulling you closer. his lips were soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the firmness of his embrace.
the kiss grew deeper, more urgent, the unspoken connection between you two igniting into something more. you felt his heart racing beneath your palm, his breath hitching in his chest. it was as if all the tension and frustration of the evening had coalesced into this single moment, a silent promise of understanding and support.
spencer's arms tightened around you, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer. you could feel the heat of his body against yours, the fabric of his suit a stark contrast to the softness of your pajamas. your own heart was racing, the thrill of your sudden boldness mingling with the warmth of his embrace.
his mouth moved against yours, his tongue slipping between your lips, exploring the contours of your mouth with a gentle yet insistent touch. you moaned softly, your hands moving to his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath your fingertips. the need to be closer, to feel more of him, overwhelmed you, and you reached down to unbuckle his belt.
his eyes searched yours for a moment, a silent question hanging in the air. when you nodded, he stepped back, allowing you to push his suit pants down. his cock sprang free, thick and hard, and you felt a thrill of desire shoot through you as you took it in your hand. it was a heady feeling, the power to make this strong, stoic man react so viscerally to your touch.
you dropped down, your eyes never leaving his as you took him into your mouth. spencer's hands tangled in your hair, his breath hitching as you began to move your head, your tongue swirling around the tip. the sound of his quiet gasps filled the room, his hips moving slightly in response to your rhythm.
his taste was new and thrilling, a heady mix of desire and need. you took him deeper, feeling him hit the back of your throat, his grip on your hair tightening. you could feel his muscles tensing, his breath coming in ragged pants as you worked him over.
his eyes never left yours, the intensity in them sending shivers down your spine. it was as if you could see every thought, every feeling, every need reflected in the depths of his gaze. you felt powerful, in control, and for the first time in a long time, alive.
his cock was hot and hard in your mouth, and the sound of his quiet moans spurred you on. your hand gripped the base of his shaft, stroking in time with the bob of your head. you felt him swell, his hips jerking slightly with each stroke of your tongue. it was an addictive feeling, knowing you could make this strong man tremble with just your touch.
spencer's pupils dilated with lust, his hands tangled in your hair, guiding you, but never pushing. you could see the struggle in his gaze, the desire to let go and just lose himself in the sensation warring with his ingrained need to maintain control. but tonight, in this quiet corner of the mansion, you were the one in charge.
you moaned around his cock, the vibration making him jerk. his grip on your hair tightened, his hips moving slightly to match the rhythm of your mouth. the salty taste of him was intoxicating, making your own desire pool between your legs. you could feel the wetness of your panties, a silent testament to how much his touch affected you.
spencer's breath was coming in harsh pants now, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to hold back. but you weren't going to let him. you wanted him to lose control, to feel as alive as you did in this moment. you took him deeper, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat, the muscles in your neck straining.
but before he could reach his peak, you pulled away, your eyes meeting his with a fiery determination. "i want you to fuck me," you whispered, your voice hoarse with desire. the words hung in the air, a stark contrast to the gentle sounds of the mansion's nighttime ambiance.
spencer's eyes searched yours, the question in them clear. "are you sure?" he asked, his voice strained. you nodded, the need for his touch overwhelming any doubt that may have lingered.
you took his hand, leading him back to the bed, the plush comforter inviting and warm. your heart raced as you sat on the edge, watching him tuck his cock back into his pants, his hands trembling slightly. the sight of his arousal, so potent and undeniable, made your stomach flip.
spencer followed, his eyes never leaving yours as he approached. his gaze was filled with a mix of desire and hesitation, the weight of his duty to protect you clear in his expression. but as you took his face in your hands and pulled him down for a kiss, the doubt in his eyes faded away, replaced by a fierce need that matched your own.
his lips were soft and gentle, the kiss a silent promise of passion and comfort. your hands roamed his chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt, the rapid beat of his heart syncing with yours. the warmth of his body was like a brand against your skin, setting every nerve ending alight.
spencer broke the kiss, his eyes searching yours for permission. when you nodded eagerly, he began to kiss his way down your neck, his tongue tracing the delicate line of your collarbone. he reached the top of your pajama shirt, his fingers deftly unbuttoning it, the fabric parting to reveal the soft swells of your breasts.
his mouth moved lower, kissing each inch of exposed skin as he went. the sensation of his breath against your skin sent shivers down your spine, making you arch into his touch. his mouth reached your stomach, kissing the soft flesh with a tenderness that belied his firm grip. his hands found the hem of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head, leaving you in just your panties.
his eyes took in the sight of you, his breath catching in his throat. "you're beautiful," he murmured, the words a barely-there whisper. you felt your cheeks flush, the heat of his gaze warming you from the inside out. his hands trailed up your body, cupping your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your hardened nipples. you gasped, the sensation shooting straight to your core.
spencer's eyes searched yours, the question in them unspoken. when you nodded, he leaned down, his mouth capturing one of your nipples, suckling gently. you moaned, the pleasure of his touch sending waves of heat through you. your hands found his hair, tangling in the soft strands as you pulled him closer, urging him to give you more.
his mouth moved to the other breast, his tongue teasing the sensitive peak before moving lower. his hands slid down your body, his thumbs hooking into the waistband of your panties. you lifted your hips, helping him as he slid them down your legs, leaving you bare and exposed before him.
spencer's eyes took in every inch of you, his pupils dilated with desire. you felt a thrill of power at his reaction, the knowledge that he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. you spread your legs wider, inviting him closer, the wetness between your thighs a silent plea.
his hand slid down your stomach, his thumb brushing over your clit, making you gasp. the touch was feather-light, a promise of what was to come. you watched as he took a deep breath, his control slipping away. "spencer," you whispered, your voice needy. "please."
his eyes met yours, the hunger in them unmistakable. without a word, he leaned in, his mouth replacing his thumb. the sensation was exquisite, his tongue circling your clit, sending bolts of pleasure through your body. your hands tightened in his hair, your hips rocking against his face.
his touch grew more insistent, his tongue moving faster, his fingers sliding into your wetness. you moaned, the pressure building, your body arching off the bed. the sound of your pleasure filled the room, the tension between you two unbearable.
spencer's eyes remained on yours, watching your every reaction, learning what made you gasp, what made you moan. his other hand found your hip, holding you in place as he feasted on you, his mouth and fingers working in tandem to push you closer to the edge.
the pressure grew, the tension in your body coiling tighter and tighter. your breath came in short, panting gasps, your eyes squeezed shut as the sensation built. and then, with a final flick of his tongue, you shattered. your orgasm ripped through you, your body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you.
spencer's eyes never left yours as you came, his gaze filled with a fierce possessiveness that sent shivers down your spine. as the last tremor of your climax subsided, he leaned back, his own need clear in the dark hunger of his eyes. without a word, he undid his tie and shrugged off his jacket, his shirt following suit.
his body was a sculpted masterpiece of muscle and strength, a stark contrast to the suave exterior he presented to the world. you felt your heart race as he stepped closer, his cock hard and ready. "are you sure about this?" he asked, his voice thick with lust.
you nodded, your desire for him overwhelming any remaining doubt. "yes," you whispered, your voice breathy with need. "i want you."
spencer's eyes searched yours for a moment longer before he reached down and untucked his cock from his pants. the fabric fell away, revealing his hard length once again. you couldn't help but stare, the memory of his taste still lingering on your lips. he stepped out of the fabric, leaving them in a pool at his feet.
his eyes never left yours as he climbed onto the bed, his body moving with a predatory grace. the mattress dipped slightly with his weight, and you felt your heart racing in anticipation. your legs spread wider, inviting him closer, the heat of his body radiating against your skin.
his hand reached out, his fingertips brushing against the wetness of your pussy, making you gasp. "so wet for me," he murmured, the awe in his voice sending a thrill through you. you nodded, unable to form coherent words as he positioned himself at your entrance.
his cock was hot and heavy, the tip nudging against you. you felt a moment of apprehension, but it was quickly replaced by a desperate need to feel him inside you. "please," you begged, your voice a whimper.
spencer's eyes searched yours, his own need reflected in the depths of his gaze. with a groan, he pushed forward, filling you inch by inch. you gasped as he stretched you, the feeling of fullness unlike anything you'd ever experienced. his pace was slow and deliberate, his body moving in perfect harmony with yours.
you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him deeper. spencer's eyes never left yours as he thrust into you, his movements powerful yet gentle. the friction was exquisite, the feel of his cock inside you sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body.
his hands held onto your hips, guiding you, as he began to move with a rhythm that had you moaning his name. your fingers dug into the sheets, your body moving in time with his. the room was filled with the sounds of your lovemaking, the heady scent of desire hanging in the air.
spencer leaned down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered words of encouragement. "you're so beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with passion. "so responsive."
you couldn't help but let out a soft moan, your body already anticipating his next move. with surprising strength, he flipped you over, his hands gripping your hips as he positioned himself behind you. your cheek pressed into the pillow, muffling your gasps as he entered you again, his cock sliding into your wetness from behind.
his hands found their way to your ass, squeezing and spreading your cheeks as he began to thrust. the angle was new, sending sensations through you that you'd never felt before. your eyes squeezed shut, your breath coming in ragged pants as he filled you completely. the feel of his body pressing into you, his hands holding you firmly in place, was both overwhelming and incredibly arousing.
his hips slapped against your ass with each movement, the sound echoing through the quiet room. your cheeks were flushed, your body trembling with the effort to hold still. but spencer was relentless, his movements growing more intense, his breath hot and ragged in your ear. "you like that?" he whispered, his voice a dark promise of more pleasure to come.
you nodded, unable to form words, your body already on the edge of another orgasm. "yes, sir," you managed to gasp out, the honorific slipping from your lips unbidden. something about the power dynamic, about being with a man who could both protect and pleasure you, sent a thrill through your veins.
spencer's grip tightened on your hips, his thrusts growing more urgent. "you're so good," he murmured, his voice low and gruff. "so fucking good." the way he said it, with such raw, unbridled passion, had you feeling like you were melting from the inside out.
his hand reached around, his thumb finding your clit, the touch making your eyes fly open. you arched your back, pushing back into him, the sensation too much to handle. "sir," you moaned, the word slipping from your lips like a prayer.
spencer's grip tightened, his strokes becoming more erratic as he neared his own climax. "you're going to come for me, aren't you?" he growled, his teeth grazing your ear. the pleasure was building, a pressure that threatened to consume you. "yes," you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper.
his thumb worked in time with his thrusts, the dual sensations pushing you closer and closer to the edge. you could feel his cock swelling inside you, his hips moving with a desperation that mirrored your own. "now," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "come for me now."
you did, your body convulsing around him as you came, the sensation so intense it was almost painful. spencer's own release followed, his cock pulsing as he filled you with his seed. the feeling of him coming inside you was like nothing you'd ever experienced, a claiming that went beyond the physical.
his body collapsed onto yours, his breath hot and heavy against your neck. your heart raced in your chest, the sound of your combined panting filling the room. for a moment, you just lay there, basking in the afterglow, the weight of him comforting rather than suffocating.
but reality soon intruded, the sound of a car pulling up outside jolting you both to attention. "your father," spencer murmured, his voice still thick with desire. "i should go."
you nodded, the spell of the moment broken. with a final, lingering kiss, he pulled away, his body sliding out of yours with a reluctance that mirrored your own. the cold air rushed in to fill the space he'd occupied, leaving you feeling empty and exposed. spencer quickly pulled his clothes back on, his movements efficient despite the tremble in his hands.
before he could turn away, you reached out, grabbing his wrist. "spencer," you said, your voice urgent. "before you go… promise me you'll talk to my father." you took a deep breath, the words tumbling out in a rush. "about how i need more freedom. about how i'm not a child anymore. about how i need to live my own life." the vulnerability in your voice was stark, a stark contrast to the powerful woman you'd been moments ago.
spencer's eyes searched yours, the understanding in them clear. he nodded, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly. "i promise," he said, his voice firm. "i'll talk to him. i'll make him understand."
you felt a weight lift from your chest, the hope of change fluttering in your stomach. "thank you," you whispered, the words filled with a sincerity that went beyond simple gratitude. you knew he would keep his word, that he would stand by you in this fight for your independence.
spencer leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, his eyes filled with a gentle concern. "you don't have to thank me," he said, his voice low and earnest. "i'm here to protect you, but that includes fighting for what you want, even if it's against your father's wishes."
his words resonated within you, filling you with a warmth that had nothing to do with the passion you'd just shared. you nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "i know," you murmured. "that's why i trust you."
spencer's expression softened, his eyes holding yours for a long moment before he gently disentangled his hand from yours. "i won't let you down," he promised, the gravity of his words a silent pledge. with one last lingering look, he turned and slipped out of the room, his footsteps fading down the hallway.
edited 8.21.24
533 notes · View notes
surielstea · 22 days
Text
��Forgive me, Darling.”
Based on this request.
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Pairing: Rhysand x Fem!Reader
Summary: After Rhys undermines Reader in front of the Hewn City, Reader makes him grovel before she accepts his apologies.
Warnings: Smut | Minors DNI | 18+ | p in v | apology sex | dom sub dynamics | riding | oral (f receiving) | Reader making Rhys grovel | multi-orgasm | cream-pie | mating press
A. Note: This was really an excuse for me to write some Rhys smut… RhysandWeek got to me I fear, half of it is smut so enjoy 😼🙏
4.7k words
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It was an effort to sit next to the High Lord tonight. Even with Winter Solstice so steadily approaching we couldn't stop being at each other's throats for the past week. The others in the Inner Circle were sick of our tedious bickering by now, and the rest of the Court might as well be too.
It was clear to the citizens of the Hewn City that we weren't getting along the best when we sat in our own separate thrones, while I typically opted to sit in Rhys' lap or he on the armrest while I took the main throne.
But it was the citizens of the Hewn City themselves that had cleaved our relationship right in two. While I was a natural sympathizer for these people, Rhys seemed to have half a thought about their well-being.
It drove me mad how easily he could cherish and love something, then turn around and loathe something else with the same fierceness. It was manipulative and vexing.
"Your grace," Keir drawled with a low bow and Rhys lifted a brow at Morrigan's poor excuse of a father.
"What is it?" The High Lord mused, the perfect mask of bored coldness in his violet eyes.
"The court was wondering if you'd be donating to the gift drive this season, all funds would go directly to the orphaned children of course," Keir said with a tone that sent shivers down my spine.
Rhys opened his mouth to say no, but I spoke first. "Of course Keir. We're not monsters," I say, tossing my mate a lethal glare.
"Are you mad? No," He looked to Keir. "I will not be donating, but you can tell them their queen will have a heavy chunk coming from her paycheck," Rhys bit back and the verbal assault immediately bruised her, tearing her down for speaking over him in a place like this was one thing but, in front of Keir? Using him as a device to get under my skin? It was a new level of low.
I bit back a snarl. "You're both insufferable," I stand. "And you bore me," I step down the dais with a careful queenlike elegance that came with only decades of practice. "I'm going home, perhaps finish some last-minute gift shopping," I shrug, my black gown shimmering like the stars in the sky with each move I made.
"I'll join you momentarily," Rhys said with a hand up as if to pause me. I didn't wait for him to finish before I winnowed back to Velaris, alone.
I was born in the Hewn City, and though I knew it was best if Rhys put on a mask in front of that court, it was hard to watch my mate who had one of the biggest hearts I'd ever seen be so cruel, be exactly what those citizens had expected him to be. A monster. A shiver went down my spine at the thought. It was a part of my role as High Lady to back whatever Rhys decided, but it was a part of his role to do the same with me. And when it came to the children of the Hewn City I drew the line, they had done no wrong, and half of them were too young to even realize that their king was a halfbreed, much less why that meant he was seen as lesser. They were innocent, doomed for failure since the beginning because of who their parents were. I sympathized with the orphans and knew exactly how much a donation would've mean to me because I used to be one of them.
Rhys winnowed into the sitting room, writhing shadows feathering off of his dark tunic as he whirled towards me, brows drawn.
"What'd you do that for?" He frowns at me and I mirror it.
"Children Rhys? Should I even dare ask when it might end?" I prop my hands up on his hips and he sighs, rubbing at his eyes.
"You know how I handle those things, I tell Keir no and then donate anonymously," He explained, annunciating every word like I was hard of hearing. The tone set me off. He was right, that's how we did it every year for solstice since Rhys became High Lord.
But tonight was my breaking point after weeks of needless arguments. "Yes, Rhysand. I know." I grit my teeth and his frown deepens as he hears me use his full name, something I always did unconsciously when I wanted him out of my face.
"Then why did you say we'd donate?" He lifts a brow and my shoulders are practically up to my ears with the tension building.
"Because, Rhysand, I'm so sick of you pretending to be someone that you're not," Again, the name makes him flinch. "I know how much you're capable of loving, and I understand you trying to protect us but I can't bear seeing you so ruthless to those people," I explain and he lets out a long sigh.
"You don't seem to understand the impossible situation I'm in." He closes his eyes, needing to rest them if only for a moment.
"What don't I understand?" I grab his jacket, gently gripping it as I stare up at him. "I've been beside you every step of the way, talk to me Rhysand. Or this isn't going to work," I gesture between us and his back shoots ramrod straight, at the underlying threat of taking a break from each other. He loathed the idea, and would rather argue for the rest of his life with me than not have me in his life at all.
"Don't say stuff like that," He murmured, his voice clipped like he couldn't quite breathe right.
"Then think twice before undermining me in front of a male like Keir," I scowl. "Hewn City or not, you're not allowed to silence me." I brush past him, my shoulder ramming into his bicep as I stalk down the hall to our bedroom, shutting the door with a resounding thud, but Rhys remains pinned in the same spot, cursing himself over and over again for his foolish behavior.
Over the next few days, Rhys had done everything in his power to apologize. Giving me countless gifts, and heartfelt monologues about how sorry he was, he even donated a good portion of his gold to the Hewn City orphanage. But I didn't forgive him, because I was certain he had yet to understand how much this truly meant to me. Besides, a small part of me liked watching him grovel.
At dinner with the rest of the inner circle later that evening, the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife. Rhys had reached for my hand beneath my table twice now and I shook him off both times. We had both silently agreed on pretending everything was normal between us in front of the others, not wanting to worry them about the health of their high lady and lord relationship. So I put on a mask, as he often did, and pretended everything was fine.
"I'll see you in a few days for solstice eve," I hum as Morrigan gives me a hug while standing halfway out the door in the cold.
"I got you an amazing gift!" She beamed while backing away and I gave her an incredulous look. There was no arguing that Morrigans gifts weren't unique and personalized, but they were far from amazing.
"I'm sure you did," I hum. "Goodnight, Mor," I lean against the archway of the foyer and she gives me a wave before slipping out the door. Once everyone was officially gone I turned back to the sitting room where Rhys was sitting, staring at me curiously like I was a thing to be analyzed. "What?" I bark, my smile dropping.
"You keep calling me Rhysand," He stands from his seat, looking at me with furrowed brows, his wings drooping slightly, nearly dragging on the floor as he strides towards me but stops an arm's length away.
"That's your name, is it not? Or would you like to argue about that as well?" I arch a brow and his frown deepens.
"No, I just— It's Rhys. It's always been Rhys between us, in fact, you're the reason everyone calls me Rhys." He claims and I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my gaze on him.
"This is what has been bothering you? This? Out of everything that has been going on, me saying your full name has gotten under your skin the most?" I scowl, unbelieving of his childish behavior.
"I'm sorry." He whispers, defeated.
"I know," I state.
"Then why?" His voice wavers. "Why can't I be forgiven?" He takes another step forward, nearly closing the distance between us if it weren't for his height.
"Because I don't think you've learned your lesson yet." I snarl and his brows crease, his familiar violet eyes glazing over.
"No please, I have darling," He cups my cheeks in his hands. "I have. I'm sorry." His hands were so gentle when holding my face as if I might break if he was any rougher.
I debated giving in for a moment, if only because my desire to feel his lips on mine again would be comparable to heaven— but I stayed strong, my own pride willing me to break away from his touch. "I know," I repeat, before walking down the hall and into our bedroom, closing the door behind me loud enough for him to get the hint that I didn't want to see him again that night.
A few days had passed and it was solstice eve, I was in the midst of getting ready for bed when there was a soft knock on my door. I didn't turn when the door opened, I knew who it was before he was even down the hall.
Rhys doesn't say anything, just stares as I take out my earrings and unlace my dress. I didn't mind him looking as I stripped down and changed into a soft, midnight blue nightgown, perhaps I was rubbing in the fact that he couldn't have me. Once I was finished I walked over to my vanity and began to comb through my hair.
"I can feel you staring, Rhysand." I finally spoke and I swore he growled at the name. I ignore it. He pushes off the doorframe and enters the room.
"What can I do it make it better?" I turn towards him to find him directly behind me, looking down at me with beseeching eyes. "I'm begging you," He whispers, our proximity so close that his nose was brushing against mine.
"You're begging me?" I raise a brow.
"Gods, yes darling. Do you want me to get on my knees and plead?" He suggests and I just stare at him as a reply, waiting.
His brows raise a fraction when he realizes I'm serious, and I cross my arms impatiently. It takes him a moment, but eventually, he drops down onto his knees.
His hands come to my hips and he looks up at me, his chin propped up on my stomach as he lets out a soft, "Please."
"Please what?" I place my hands on his shoulders, one of them finding its way into his dark, midnight-black hair.
"Please, forgive me." He murmurs. "Please, don't make us take a break." He continues, his hands on my hips tightening slightly. "And please, let me love you the way you deserve."
He had once told me he'd only ever fall to his knees for his crown, yet here he was, bending for me with only sincere affection in his eyes and regret forever making me feel like he deserved this.
I grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him up, crashing his lips onto mine. I kiss him, deeply, with the passion and desire that had been building up for the past week. I had forgotten how addictive he was and didn't realize how badly I needed him until he leaned into the kiss and filled the gaping void inside of me with warmth.
"I missed you so damned much, darling," He sighs and I smirk against his lips.
"Yeah?" I slip from his grasp and take a seat on the bed. "Why don't you come over here and show me?" I purr, letting my legs fall open as he prowls towards me and again, gets down onto his knees.
I smile devilishly at him as he begins kissing and nipping at my thighs, beginning to make amends with his mouth rather than words.
His covetous hands slip beneath my short nightgown, gripping my hips and pulling me to the edge of the bed. I lay back onto my elbows, propped up enough to watch him as he made his way up my thighs.
Ever so gently, he pulls at my undergarments and I lift my hips for access so he can further slip the panties down my legs. With reverence his eyes flick down to my glistening core, then back up to my eyes, his gaze holding a certain emotion I don't think I've ever seen the High Lord hone before.
I nod my head and he wastes no time before placing an open mouth kiss to my folds, then dragging it through my slit in a slow, savoring lap. I let out a soft moan at the feeling of his warm tongue finding my clit with a languid stroke. My fingers weave into his hair as he begins to suck on the bundle of nerves, sending me into a spiral.
I looked down at him but he was already staring up at me. But once he sees my lustful expression he can't seem to control himself before he dips down and spears his tongue into me. I release a breathy moan at the intense feeling. How could I have ever robbed myself of this for so long? Gods it was evil the things he could do with that mouth.
His fingers dug into the flesh of my hips as he devoured me like a man starved, his tongue-twisting and curling against a sensitive spot that sent me closer to the edge. I was unable to stop myself from grinding up onto his face, and he let out a guttural groan as I did so, because he knew then that I wanted him, that he was making me feel this good.
I maintained eye contact with him as he continued to drive me wild, violet irises filled with both apologies as well as desire. He draws one of my legs over his shoulder to deepen his access and I pull at his hair.
"That's it, gods yes," I gripe as his tongue toys with the sensitive area nestled deep inside of me.
My head falls back to look up at the ceiling as he brings one of his hands down and his thumb begins to roll over my clit. I whimper at the stimulation, my toes curling as he begins rubbing tight circles. I buck my hips at the intense feeling and he groans against the feeling of me tugging on his hair, the sound reverberating up my spine. "That's my girl," He purrs as my release steadily approaches. "Come on my face, fall apart for me my darling," He says, his voice tender as he coaxes your climax to draw closer.
I couldn't deny his demand, my pleasure too high to even debate it. My peak reaches and with a cry, my body convulses and an intense wave of pleasure crashes through me. He supports me, his arms around my thighs grounding me, his eyes never leaving mine as he removes his tongue from my entrance and softly laps up my dripping folds, his mouth shimmering in my essence. But it was only pride in his eyes as I came down from my high that I recognized, pride and, something far more primal than human.
"I forgot how good you taste," He whispers against my core, cleaning every lost drop from me with his mouth.
Slowly, he backed away, licking his lips that were glistening in my arousal.
"I want to ride you," I confess and his brows shoot up with carnal desire. Yes, that was exactly what I wanted.
I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down onto the bed, his head falling into the pillows as I flipped over him and began working at the buttons of his shirt.
His hands joined mine, helping me by thrashing it off. I smile and attach my lips to his tanned skin, my tongue running over the lines of his tattoo while he frees himself from the confines of his pants. My mouth waters at the sight of his hard cock already leaking with need. I bite at my lower lip as I grip his length, spreading his pre and using it as a natural lubricant. I pumped him once, then twice. My grip was rough and tight, his head fell back into the pillows as he groaned in pleasure.
"Oh, my darling," He sighs out as I press my thumb to his sensitive tip.
His hands come to my thighs as I lift onto my knees and begin dragging his cock through my folds, prepping him for an easy entrance. I swore he got harder the moment my arousal met his.
He looked back at me, his eyes low-lidded. "You look like a goddess," He breathes, his voice husky with restraint. I knew he wanted to push me down onto him, to take dominance and flip me onto my back. But he reigned in his control and kept himself at bay for now.
I smile devilishly at him as I aligned his throbbing cock with my entrance. His eyes flicked down to the view and I froze. "Look at me," I direct and his violet eyes flick back up to my gaze, and I watch his expression as I sink myself down to him so very slowly, inch by inch.
His face contorts into a mix of pleasure and agony. "This is torture," He hisses, his fingers digging into my thighs in an effort to keep restraint. "Please, darling," He whispered the plea and I couldn't help but fold under his yearning gaze.
"Please what?" I say through a soft moan, the stretch of him painful at first yet turned into pure pleasure moments later.
"Please, take all of me and move, now baby," He pants out and I smirk.
"I'm barely halfway down and I've got you this worked up?" I tilt my head demeaningly and he lets out a low, guttural growl.
"You know exactly what you're doing to me, so please, you can take it," He begs and I smile.
"I know I can, but can you?" I murmur, tracing lines along his torso, following his dark tattoo.
"Oh I can," He sighs, his eyes glinting with amusement and I realize he wasn't strained from needing more, he was in agony because his control was thinning. "But if you don't take all of me right now, I'm going to flip us over and fuck you until we both forget our own names." He warns and I smirk, leaning forward— in doing so making him slip deeper inside of me, the new angle eliciting a soft moan from me.
"Is that right?" I purr, my nails trailing down the side of his neck.
"Last chance, baby." His jaw feathers. "Sit down or I'm taking over," He snarls, gripping my hips tighter, prepared to make true of his threat. I smile, leaning closer and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
I do as he says anyway, not wanting to take any chances. I let gravity make my last movement and allow myself to take all of his length, every last inch until he was fully sheathed inside of me and I was seated on him fully.
He lets out a long, deep moan, his head falling back into the pillows. "Gods, such a good girl," He praises, taking a few deep breaths and regaining his control.
Slowly I begin to rock my hips back and forth over him and he jerks at the movement, his hands tightening on my thighs as he begins to guide me over him, showing me exactly how fast he wanted me to go.
He lets out a string of curses as I set a pace, rolling and grinding over him, my thighs already burning with the movements. "Keep your eyes on me, yeah?" he says and I nod, as he slowly lifts me up on him, then pushes me back down, sending me into a rhythm. I began to bounce up and down on him, his thick length burrowing deep inside of me with each descent.
I keep eye contact with him, tears welling in mine as he lifts me faster, my breasts bouncing with the movement, and his captivating eyes don't miss it. "So beautiful," He whispers softly, his voice hoarse and strained as a string of moans escapes me.
"You like that baby?" He purrs, his gaze only sultry. I reply with a moan and a wicked smile forms over his lips as he pushes me to go faster, slamming me down into his hips, his tip brushing over my cervix.
He was enjoying this far too much, he was savoring the way I sounded, the way my body reacted. So desperate for a second release. I lean down, changing the angle and allowing him to hit my most sensitive point with the thick head of his cock.
"Gods, you feel so good wrapped around me like this," He purrs, his breath hot against my neck as his canines scrape against it.
I continue to fuck myself on him, my vision blurring as he abuses that sacred spot inside of me. "I'm close," I grunt, clenching my hands into fists as he spears into me, lifting his hips to help me reach that high.
"Yeah? Going to come, love?" He purrs into the shell of my ear and I nod, tears now slipping down my cheeks despite all my efforts to be in control.
"Yes, I can't control it much longer," I mewl, burying my nose into the crook of his neck.
He smiles, wrapping his arms around me. "That's okay, come for me darling," He allows and I find release, I finally meet my second orgasm.
"Rhys," I moan loud enough for the next room over to hear. Not Rhysand, but Rhys. The male's length twitches at the sound he so desperately had been needing to hear for the past week.
He didn't let me come down from my high for even a moment as he flipped me over onto my back, taking full control as he guided my legs up to my sides, folding me into a mating press.
"I'm not done with you yet, darling," He drawls huskily and my heart pounds against my ribs hard.
He pulls out to his tip and for a moment I'm gifted a kernel of relief, but it quickly ended when he pushed into me, spearing hilt deep as his heavy balls slapped into my ass. Arousal dripped down my thighs as he continued the movement and I turned into a moaning mess.
"You're so tight," He grunted out between thrusts. "Say my name again," He orders and I open my teary eyes to see him above me, his dark wings spread over us. Gods, he looked like a fucking devil like this. "Rhys," I plea and he smiles wolfishly.
"That's my girl, taking me so well," He praises, continuing to piston inside my puffy, overstimulated cunt.
He reaches down and I swear my heart stops as he makes contact with my pink clit. I whimper, my bottom lip wobbling as he pushes me towards yet another orgasm. "Come on baby, squeeze my cock," He demands and I writhe beneath him, clenching every inch of his length as he brushes my cervix repeatedly. His words and groans are a constant stream of encouragement as I hurtle toward my third orgasm.
I let out a loud, broken cry as my climax rips through me, each one more intense than the last. "Please, please tell me you're close," I beg as he lets out a choked groan, his movements becoming more and more erratic as control slips from his grasp. "Fuck, I am baby, I'm close," He pants out and I mewl his name desperately.
"Rhys, Rhys," I murmur like a chant, my mind too fucked out to think of anything else, just him.
"Look at me, I want you to watch while I come inside of you." He purred and my stomach twisted at his filthy words. My hands come around to his shoulders and I dig my nails into the muscle, clawing them down his back at the intense, unrelenting thrusting.
With a feral, desperate groan he buries his nose into my neck and finds his release, his warm seed spilling inside of me.  He shakes and trembles at the weight of his climax, he collapses down onto me, his body heavy and spent. His face was still buried in my neck as he regained his breath. "Fuck, I love you so much," He confesses as the sounds of our breathing fill the room.
"I love you, too," I whisper hoarsely, my voice shot from screaming his name. He nuzzles into my neck, placing gentle kisses along my collarbone slowly guiding my legs down and pulling from my entrance. "I'm sorry baby, I know you wanted to be in control but I— I can't help myself around you," He murmurs and I smile, pulling him into me for a loving kiss.
"Don't apologize, felt so good," I murmur tiredly. "Maybe we should argue more often," I add and he frowns at the idea and I giggle. "I missed you."
His eyes light up with pure adoration. "I missed you too," He hums, easing into the bed beside me and gathering me into his arms. "Now let's get you cleaned up."
The rush of solstice has passed and everything has returned to normal— well, almost everything.
The Court of Nightmares was teeming with its usual negative energy, the air thick with it. I had been seated in my own throne again, not quite ready to take up Rhysand’s lap in front of all the subjects again.
“My Lord,” Keir bowed low before the dais, then turned to me and gave me a simple bow of his head. Rhys gripped the arms of his throne at the action but remained calm all the same.
“What?” The high lord snarled.
“The price of the renovations of the homes in the slums are steadily increasing, to something far greater than what we can afford with the money you’ve so graciously given.” He hums and I sit up. I grew up in the slums, I would’ve taken a man’s life for the opportunity to proceed with the renovation plans I had given Rhys a few days ago, would’ve taken a lot more than a life to give to that community, actually.
“Then we’ll triple the funds,” I state and Keir casts me a glance, then looks back to Rhys. I wanted to rip his face off. I was seated on a throne before his people, I had the power to tear this entire court down and yet he treats me with such disrespect and contempt.
“Why are you still here?” Rhys asked the steward. “My High Lady has just answered your issue, did she not?” Rhys tilts his head with creased brows.
“Of course, my lord,” Keir bows to the male, and something in his spine locks and I know, know that Rhys’s talons had captured Keirs mind and was prepared to shatter it, until Keir turned to me and bowed at the waist, then lower, nearly falling to his knees.
“Dismissed.” Rhys hummed, waving his hand and releasing the males mind.
I smile as I watch him leave, and settled a little deeper into my throne. Oh, I liked this a little too much.
A flicker of Rhysand’s darkness curled caressed up my neck, to trace the contours of my jaw. I turn to look at him and give him a wicked smile, he mirrors it and we turn back to the Nightmare of a court we ruled over, together.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 8 months
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another chance
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words: 2.3k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, ex!bf rafe, female receiving oral, p in v sex, unprotected sex, drinking/partying, mentions of drugs
“have you noticed his new girl is y/n’s twin?” kelce whispers to topper, who just nods in response. rafe claims that he’s completely over you, that he’s glad you broke up with him and he’s not harboring any sort of resentment over the fact that you left him.
“its so weird.” kelce continues, taking a sip of his drink, watching as rafe holds the new girl around the waist, but he barely looks at her, like if he keeps her in his peripheral vision that he can pretend its you, instead of the first girl he found whose features resemble yours.
“hes getting fucked up all the time now too. he showed up for golf the other day completely strung out.” topper informs kelce, who frowns.
they both know that there is nothing they can do, they don’t want to force you to get back with rafe if you don’t want to, especially with the state he’s in. rafe grabs the bottle of booze he was pouring into his cup repeatedly, forgoing the plastic solo cup in favor of drinking straight out of the bottle.
“rafey, are you gonna take me up to your bed?” the girl asks, no so subtly begging to be fucked by him.
“don’t call me that.” rafe grunts. only you can call him by that nickname, even if you did break his heart.
“are you going to fuck me or not, cameron?” she questions.
“not.” rafe says honestly. he thought it would help, to get it out of his system, to take a new girl to bed, but when he tried to kiss someone at the first party he attended after you, it made him so sick he had to leave. she didn’t look like you, she didn’t smell like you, she didn’t act like you. she wasn’t what rafe wanted.
“fine, then im leaving.” the girl stomps away, like anything could compare to you leaving. rafe finishes the rest of the bottle before flopping down on the couch, letting the alcohol flowing through his system lull him into unconsciousness.
--
“you deserve to go out and party as much as he does y/n.” stephanie sighs, trying to convince you to join her tonight at the huge beach bash, but you don’t want to risk running into rafe.
“i know, i just don't want to see him with another girl.” you sigh. you may have been the one to break it off with rafe, but you weren't fully over him yet.
“maybe you need to get with one of the turons.” stephanie shrugs. “you know what they say, to get over you gotta get under…”
“that actually might not be a bad idea.” you admit. maybe it's what you need to get rafe out of your system. a random hookup with someone you'll never see again to erase the memory of his touch from your body.
“so does that mean you're coming?” stephanie asks hopefully.
you nod, already planning what you're going to where tonight. “it does.”
--
“shit, remind me to take you out for ice cream or something to thank you for convincing me to come out tonight.” you tell stephanie, stumbling away from the main dance area with your best friend.
“girl, i knew you needed this!” she exclaims, taking a sip of her cup before frowning, realizing it's empty.
“ill go get us refills, hold on.” you are a lot less drunk than stephanie, so you guide her to sit down before heading to find more alcohol to fill both your cups, wanting to enjoy tonight as much as possible.
you finally find a plastic folding table with some bottles on it, and quickly refill both your drinks before turning, gasping when you run right into someone.
“y/n.” rafe gasps out, his eyes bloodshot like he's been crying. he drops to his knees before before you, making you raise your eyebrows. “i miss you so much. please take me back, ill do anything, ill-” rafe begins to beg, his words slurred as it's obvious he's been drinking.
“rafe.” you cut him off eventually. rafe stops speaking, hands coming to rest on the back of your calves as he looks up at you with pleading eyes. “you're drunk.”
“no, no, no.” rafes head drops, leaning to press kisses along your knees. “im drunk but im serious. please, just give me another chance, ill do anything.”
you frown, hating seeing rafe this way. you broke up with him because you thought he spent too much time getting high and needed to get control of his temper, and didn't know what you could do to help that beside let him work through it by himself. 
“anything, y/n.” rafe continues, his hands gripping your legs so tightly. you glance up, looking at all the people at the party staring at you, probably shocked that rafe would get on his knees and beg for anyone to come back.
“you need to stop doing drugs as often.” you state to rafe, making sure to keep your voice low enough to not have it in earshot. “and you gotta work on not getting so angry at the pogues. i don't care that you hate them but you can't constantly be getting into fights.”
“done.” rafe says, nodding his head. “i just need you. ive been a mess without you.”
“we can give it another shot.” you say, and rafes shoots to his feet, his lips pressing against yours. you set the cups down on the table next to you before kissing back, hearing a smattering of whoops and cheers as you make out, your head turning dizzy like the alcohol on rafes tongue is affecting your own.
“i need you, please.” rafe says, and you know exactly what he's asking for. it's what you've been desperately craving from him as well. your bodies were beyond compatible, and you know no boy would compare, so even in the period that you were broken up, you didn't even bother trying to sleep with anyone.
“i have to find stephanie.” you tell rafe, knowing you need to check your friend is good before doing anything, but you loop your fingers through rafes and tug him behind you until you get back to the main dance area, seeing topper with his arm slung around stephanies waist while she grinds against him.
“see she's good.” rafe says, his voice husky, and you know that he's already getting turned on just from the thought of having you again.
you let rafe lead you to his truck, parked in a somewhat isolated spot, but you don't care at this point if people see you as you both climb into the back seat.
“thank you for giving me another chance.” rafe says, his eyes shiny in the low lighting. “i missed you so much. i was such a wreck, but i didn't sleep with anyone else even though we were broken up. i only wanted you.”
“rafe.” you coo, pressing your lips against his, stroking your fingertips over his jaw. “i missed you too.”
“wanna show you how much it means to me.” rafe says, guiding you backwards until your back is against the seat. “that you're giving me a second chance.” his lips skim over yours before he moves lower, schooching down the seat until he's resting between your legs. he takes the bottom of your skirt and pushes it up, revealing your panties.
“you really do gotta-” your speech is cut off with a gasp when rafe presses his lips against your underwear, kissing your cunt through the fabric. 
“gotta what baby?” rafe asks, moving to kiss along your thighs as well, his teeth occasionally making an appearance as he drags them against your skin, nipping when you open your mouth to reply.
“gotta get your shit together since im giving you a second chance.” you finally finish your sentence.
“oh, i will baby.” rafe says, rubbing his fingertip over your center, smirking to himself when he sees the fabric dampened with your wetness. “i went so crazy without you, id do anything to not lose you again.”
“take them off, please.” you whine. rafe tugs at your panties, sliding them down your legs until he has to guide them over your heels. he takes the material and scrunches it up, tossing it onto his drivers seat. “i’m keeping those.” he informs you.
“whatever.” you roll your eyes but can’t hide your smile, reaching down to rub your thumb against his cheekbone. 
rafe sighs with relief into your touch, leaning his head against your hand. “i’ve missed your taste.” he licks his lips, eyes on your core.
you spread your legs as much as you can in the back of the truck, wishing momentarily that you were having this reunion in a bed, but you know rafe wouldn’t be able to wait that long.
rafe doesn’t hesitate to lean forward, burying his head between your legs. his wide tongue flicks through your folds, licking over your cunt before swirling around your clit.
“god, you’re so good at this.” you moan out, moving your hand to rafes hair, taking the strands between your fingers to keep his face shoved into your cunt, not that he plans on stopping any time soon.
rafe sucks at your clit, feeling rewarded by coaxing moans out of you. his hands grip your thighs, squeezing your delicate flesh between his fingertips.
rafe moves his mouth lower, letting out obscene sounds as he slurps the wetness away from your hole before pushing his tongue against the ring of muscle. he begins to thrust immediately, pushing his tongue in and out of your entrance, giving you the first stimulation you’ve had since you broke up.
“the sweetest taste.” rafe says when he pulls away slightly to kiss along your inner thighs. “i don’t know how i lived without it.”
“you know what my plan was for tonight?” you hum, needing more from rafe, even as his mouth drops back around your clit. “to get with a random turon to help myself get over you.”
you feel rafe pause, his entire body stilling before his eyes raise to make contact with yours. “you were going to sleep with someone else?”
“i couldn’t get over you, i had to do something.” you say, knowing exactly what rafes reaction will be as he rises, wanting to draw that fire and passion out in him. it didn’t matter that you were the one who broke up with rafe, you thought at the time it would be better for both of you, but now you know you can’t live without him.
rafe moves quickly, his strong hands gripping your hips and turning you over. you quickly adjust, pushing up on your elbows as you place your knees on the seat, arching your back to show off your cunt.
rafe releases himself from his shorts, tugging them down his thighs before he lines himself up, sinking in with one quick stroke. your walls meld to his cock, still feeling like you were made for him.
“imagining me sleeping with another guy has really got you worked up, huh?” you question, breath coming out in a pant as rafe instantly begins to thrust.
“shut up.” rafe groans, hips snapping forward into yours. “you’re mine. you’re never leaving me again.”
“yeah?” you question, bringing your ass back to meet rafes thrusts. “gonna get clean for me? gonna get it together?”
“anything for you.” rafe vows, glancing out the windows to make sure no one is looking as he takes you from behind, not that they would be able to see through the tint anyways.
you moan as rafe grabs your ass, relieved to finally have him inside of you again as his cock repeatedly enters you. rafe knows he can’t last very long, having been so desperate for you that he can’t hold himself back as your cunt clenches around him.
“feels so good rafey.” you whine.
“call me that again.” rafe says, needing to hear the nickname slip from between your lips again.
“rafey.” you call out. rafe flips you yet again, this time onto your back as he immediately reenters you, moving too fast for you to comprehend until his mouth is pressed against yours in a searing kiss.
“again, please.” rafe mumbles against your lips, bringing a hand to your clit and rubbing it with his thumb as he thrusts rapidly, knowing your next moan is going to send him over the edge.
you place your hands on the back of his head, giving him a strong kiss as he plays with your clit, your orgasm building as well. you pull away when you can’t hold back the moan anymore, “oh god, yes, rafey.” rafe groans, burying his head in your shoulder as he cums, pumping into you throughout his high as his thumb finally brings you to orgasm as well, clit pulsing as you both pant, letting out low moans and groans as your bodies come down.
rafe presses kisses to your cheeks, your jaw slackened open, still recovering. “i’ve missed your pussy so much.” rafe says before looking down, watching himself pull out.
“come here.” you whine, hating that he’s pulled away. rafe quickly tucks himself back into his pants before hovering over your body again, cuddling into your shoulder. it’s an awkward position, legs askew and body parts pressing against the doors of the truck.
“can i take you home? i want to hold you while i sleep, make sure i don’t let you go again.” rafe says, willing to beg if he needs to.
“of course.” you stretch out your sore muscles, eyelids already feeling heavy, but you know you just have to wait for rafe to drive you home before you can sleep.
it’s not awkward despite the time away from each other as you move to the front seat, making sure to text stephanie, who quickly responds with a picture of herself in toppers bed, making you giggle.
“i love you.” rafe blurts out, unable to not tell you when hearing your laugh.
“i love you too.” you lean over to kiss rafe on the cheek as he drives you back to his house, but you are already home as his fingers link with yours.
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beescake · 9 months
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i am in love with your sollux i think
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sollux love party :]
if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye
as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall
as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.
his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.
while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.
his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.
the Bit in question:
his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.
considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.
but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.
but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.
compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.
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the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)
conceptually-speaking,
at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise
thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.
but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures
meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.
those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:
zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)
or
far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.
which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.
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dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3
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emiphemeral · 3 months
Text
like sexy dynamite — a.donaldson
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pairings; 2019 art donaldson x fem!reader
warnings; 18+ smut, mean!art, dom!art, sub!reader, semi-public sex, p in v
a/n; twas feeling festive... everyone thank @martiansodas-blog for convincing me to write this
you were, by some peoples standards, art donaldson's "controversially young" girlfriend. of course, you didn't find it controversial at all. clearly neither did he, since he was the one who approached you first anyway. the main perk of having a wealthy older boyfriend however, was access to his big beautiful house.
art had asked you to move in with him months prior, so it wasn't difficult to get him to throw a fourth of july party. it wasn't difficult to get anything with art, not when it's you. you simply had to bat your eyes and he would melt.
so there you were, sipping on some probably spiked punch and giggling with a few friends. trashy pop music played over a speaker, provided by some shitty college dj you had hired. it wasn't meant to be a good party, it was meant to be a fun party.
you and your friends names get called from across the room;
"guys, come on, they're setting off fireworks soon!"
your group starts to eagerly head to the backyard, until a grip on your arm stops you.
"hey baby. mind if i steal you for a minute?" art mutters in your ear.
he begins to pull you away before you can respond, barely having time to mouth 'ill be there soon' before you get dragged around the corner. he brings you to a stop in the luckily empty kitchen.
"are you oka-"
art interrupts you with a sloppy and desperate kiss, hands tightly gripping your waist.
"do you have any idea what you've been doing to me all night? running around in that whoreish dress?" he growls pressing you against the countertop.
"shit- art- someone could see-" you pant as he mouths at your neck.
"everyone's out watching the fireworks. like we would be, if you weren't such a fucking tease."
you gasp as art flips you around, pressing your torso into the cold marble countertop. he reaches under your dress, lightly rubbing your soaking wet cunt.
"this is what you wanted, isn't it? for me to bend you over where anyone could see? so wet over the thought of being seen as what you are, a slut."
you whimper as the blonde pushes your dress up, just enough for him to get a good look at your pussy. he curses under his breath at the sight, unzipping his pants and pulling out his already leaking cock as fast as possible.
he rubs his tip through your folds for just a moment before slamming into you. you let out a loud moan, muffled by his hand clamping over your mouth.
"c'mon baby, wouldn't want to ruin their party with your trampiness, would you?" art grunts, not letting up for a second.
the hand thats not covering your mouth is on your waist, holding you firmly against the countertop. your eyes roll back into your head as he hits the perfect spot inside of you, drooling like a mutt all over him. you can't help but let out pathetic whimpers and whines, so overwhelmed that you couldn't keep your mouth shut.
as if it was planned, the fireworks go off. its a loud show, just loud enough that art can take his hand off your face. he uses his now free hand to reach in between the two of you, rubbing fast circles onto your clit.
without support from art, your face slumps against the cool marble. you're putty in his arms, him fucking you so good you can't even think. with a particularly rough snap of his hips, you come undone, cunt spilling all over his cock.
"fuck- almost there baby- you can take it like the whore you are-"
art's rambles have practically turned mindless, now only chasing his own orgasm. he releases his hot load into you when you turn to face him, looking up at him through your eyelashes. like a hypocrite, he lets out his own vulgar groan as he finishes.
"fuck.." art mutters pulling out and smoothing your dress back down.
"go on. see your friends, knowing you're dripping with my cum", he grins cockily, giving your ass a playful slap. you push off the counter to walk outside, but your legs immediately give out.
"oops." art shrugs, with the most unapologetic smirk known to man.
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