#Used a reference taken by myself
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hole in the ceiling - 14 Jul
(Note: this is not a photography post. It’s an art post. click for better quality :)
Hey everyone I’m back from art block 😀
Kudoses and reboots are appreciated lol
rate my art if you want
#digital art#art#fyppage#fypシ#artwork#foryou#fyp#ibis paint x#my art#ibis paint art#ibis paint drawing#scenery#plants#clouds#drawing#artists on tumblr#illustration#drawings#digital painting#dont flop#art dump#idk what else to tag#Used a reference taken by myself#reference#chromatic abberation
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they definitely wear each other's merch
#kakagai#hatake kakashi#maito gai#might guy#this would have taken half the time if i would have used references#also obviously i just clipped the clothing onto them#i didnt want to paint that much hehe#nart#naruto#my favorite part is gai's hands#really outdid myself
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Goroawase for your KHR oc building needs.
#𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒄. ⸻ ◜ reference◞#Goroawase#* this is mostly for me & june made me double check if my memory was correct they was correct and so was i :')#* also not japanese again but this is a nice reference to use if y'all are that deep into it.#* i personally did miruku's very wonky / wrong cause every number int he earth is taken dshajdas#* also posting this for myself so i can look at this again
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today i offer you teenage sumprat sequel vi. tomorrow who knows
[ID: digital art of vi from arcane in an alternate universe. in this appearance she is 18 or 19 and wearing a light gray tank top with red board shorts. she stands in knee-high water with a rock in her hand. the art is stylized with pencil lines and faux watercolor colors. written in pencil to the right is "no more swimming by myself..." and a heart. the background is white. end ID.]
#lyrics are from steps beach by childish gambino ‼️ it's literally this story idc#anyway i thought i'd try something kind of new to warm up for a painting i'm about to do#it turned out pretty well for digital art :] i'm not really used to it#the pose is partially taken from this picture of me in physics one time where i had to pull a rope for a lab#so doing the elbow especially was weird because the reference is me basically bodybuilder posing#but i had to translate that to casual vi who textually started working out like a month ago. anyway#this took longer than expected but i liked it#i'm not actually gonna start painting tn so i wasn't necessarily warming up my arm i was just reminding myself that i can Make things#should i maintag. will y'all be mad..#arcane#vi arcane#< i need the vi enjoyers on my side specifically. love and light#id added
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boop!
where'd you get your tumblr url from?
I've been slain :(
In all honesty, as much as I wish I could say I have some kind of cool lore drop behind my URL, I don't since when I made this account I wasn't actually anticipating being consumed into Tumblr culture (as much as I was). The original plan was to just be a random spectator, so not much thought was put into the branding. Foxes are orange, so was the aroace flag, that was about the extent of my thoughts. I just hit randomize and looked the one I thought was the silliest, saw this one and felt the stars align. I have considered changing it to something a bit more personalized (and I've considered changing my pfp to something related to my URL), but at this point? It's kinda part of my Tumblr life??? Y'know? I can't go back now!
#I didn't choose this url#it chose me#actually i think i did almost give myself a personalized url that was goat related in reference toriel but it was taken#before i made an account I made a proto pfp that was a toriel plushie against an aroace background and I did use that one beforehand#maybe the real tutorial was the moots we made along the way#get booped nerd#🫵 🐾
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LWA: Some more idle thoughts about narrative construction and both seasons, prompted by your reflections about AWCW's inability to see consequences and Aziraphale's already-vivid awareness of them.
Crowley's and Aziraphale's pre-Fall selves are already set into their post-Fall approaches to consequences. Aziraphale, given adequate data, is very good at predicting the most plausible consequences of any given action; unfortunately, he's also very good at predicting consequences when he only thinks he has adequate data, which leads to repeated disasters (both the 1862 fight and the end of s2ep6 being the most obvious examples). It's not an accident that he's good at interpreting prophecy. It may also explain the weird Jane Austen misreading, which has nothing to do with how Aziraphale fell in love (past) but everything to do with constructing an iron-clad narrative in which there's a definite, logical romantic outcome (future). AWCW is politically naive, but fallen Crowley /still/ can't predict what ought to be the completely logical consequences of his actions. (Hence perhaps his own misreading of Richard Curtis, which mistakes the climax of a romcom for its inception.) S1ep1 keeps coming back to the fallout of Crowley pitching his stories too well to his demonic audience. He takes down the cell tower and does himself in, turns the M25 into a sigil and both gets trapped on it and temporarily murders an awful lot of people, and...then there's my favorite bugbear. Fans tend to overlook the likely outcome of Aziraphale giving in to Crowley's manipulation and killing the Antichrist, thanks to Madame Tracy stepping in, but beyond the cruelty /this is not something that Aziraphale could have survived/ (figuratively or literally). I was thrown straight out of the S2 episode in which Crowley gives away the entire bodyswap to Gabriel/Jim during his "protective" outburst, because as script-writing goes that there was a decision, but I have to grouchily concede that if Gaiman were to show up and remind me about the child murder business, he would have a point about narrative plausibility.
Crowley genuinely doesn't appear to believe that his relationship with Aziraphale has a developmental narrative. There's no story to be told about it. As I've said here before, his accounts of their relationship do not square either with what's on the screen or with what the actors have said they're playing. For Crowley, they've always been friends, they've always been a couple, they've always had the same kinds of conversations, whereas what's dramatized onscreen is a more heavily-romanticized take on the /book/ narrative, in which they gradually become friends over the course of centuries. There's no sign that /Aziraphale/ believes they've always been friends or a couple, which may be one of the reasons that Crowley's confession doesn't land.* In fact, one of the things that is now starting to bug me is the problem of Aziraphale's relation to Crowley-as-angel, because Aziraphale's problematic assumptions about fallen Crowley's continuity with AWCW (he's not trying to reverse-engineer Crowley, he really believes demon!Crowley effectively still /is/ angel!Crowley, just grumpier) mirror Crowley's refusal to acknowledge that his relationship with Aziraphale has an actual plot.
My take is that Aziraphale could obviously have done a much better job, Crowley-wise, of accepting the Metatron's proposal, but there's nothing to indicate that he could have done anything /else/. It's not just a mirror of Beelzebub's ep1 proposal to Crowley, but a warped mirror, in which the whole point of the "coffee or death" dialogue is that the Metatron is not really offering Aziraphale a choice in the matter.
afternoon LWA, hope you're well!!!✨
i didn't think to look laterally (not to this extent, anyway) at aziraphale and crowley when comparing their pre-fall selves with them later on in the narrative, but that's really fun to consider!!!
i absolutely love this interpretation of aziraphale's inner thought process, because whilst i had never really thought to see aziraphale as having an analytical personality type, he absolutely does; his approach to pretty much anything appears to be very systematic. in fact, im struggling somewhat to think of an instance where im confident that aziraphale reacts completely intuitively... maybe when he squares off against satan (crowley comes up with the time-stop, but where aziraphale chooses to face the devil down feels like he does so without any idea of how it could end)? any other action aziraphale takes, or words he says, feels like they've been very carefully deliberated over before delivery, even if he knows the outcome is going to be... well, shit.
you mention 1862 and ep6 as two examples, but, to me, aziraphale's way of thinking vs crowley's (which i'll come back to) is just encapsulated neatly in the entirety of s1; there are so many examples of where aziraphale consistently reacts to incoming data (when he discovers it or - when he deigns to - when crowley tells him stuff), and acts accordingly, and then immediately cycles back to analysing the result when it doesn't work.
my day-job (GO is practically The Other Job at this point) is largely based around analysis and research, and i regularly use a few thought models (maybe not consciously, but it's second nature at this point) in approach to a problem/question. so looking at the overall context of s1, aziraphale appears to follow a similar process:
scanning (identify the problem: the apocalypse)
analysis (gathering information/data, and identifying mitigating factors or outlying data: e.g. the hellhound conundrum, agnes' prophecy, adam is in tadfield, heaven actively wants the apocalypse)
response (how can the problem/question be addressed, and take into account any extraneous data that may affect the result: e.g. stop the dog, return to tadfield, engage shadwell and the WA, consult a higher authority through the portal, finds a human to 'possess' and get to tadfield)
assessment (the impact of the response, and any splinter effects or conclusions that the response initiated: e.g. realising that they had the wrong boy, identifying the right boy, where the apocalypse would happen, and that he and crowley were alone in stopping it themselves).
the last bit is especially indicative to me of aziraphale being analytical; he hears crowley say that god would not speak to him, but he still tries because it's a viable solution to scrutinise, and when it fails he immediately re-evaluates and then contacts crowley to try out an alternative, and share the information he has, because ultimately crowley ended up - on this count - being correct in his own initial, instinctive assessment.
obviously those phases of problem-solving throughout s1 are non-linear, and instead completely cyclical; aziraphale takes into account different factors and data at individual points in the story, and repeatedly comes up with various options in which to respond to problems as more data materialises - he continuously reassesses. initially, his approach to the problem of armageddon was to Not Act, and allow it to happen, because it was the great plan, and as an angel it was logical to him that whatever god had planned was for the best, was what was always intended, and would only ever be Good because... well, it came from god, right? had he perhaps thought a touch more intuitively, followed his instinct (which is arguably to thwart armageddon, the same conclusion crowley arrived at), he would have probably leapt on the chance to follow crowley's proposal... or possibly even proposed it himself.
but as it stands, he doesn't, and crowley gives him reason after reason to do so. all of this builds as significantly compelling data to aziraphale - to the point that when he's fully analysed (at this point) the potential outcome of Not Acting vs. Acting, he chooses to Act - a conviction that he sticks to. even at the bandstand, he doesnt sway on wanting to stop armageddon, but that the way that crowley proposes they do so not only directly conflicts with aziraphale's moral boundaries (killing a mf child), but also conflicts with aziraphale's sense of logic and reason (running away). and then as a last thought for aziraphale; he goes to instinctively shoot adam when crowley pushes for the last time, and is immediately thwarted by madame tracy - she does it as an emotional, knee-jerk, moral-based, human reaction, "you can't just shoot children!" - but given that that reaction is what aziraphale actually agrees with, it only reinforces that his way of thinking, logically and analytically, is the correct one, just because they happened to arrive at the same conclusion.
but this is where crowley comes in. crowley on the other hand acts very intuitively, instinctively, and i daresay emotionally - his immediate reaction to delivering the antichrist is panic, and to immediately call aziraphale (the narrative at the very least doesn't show any kind of analysis of the issue on crowley's part - would he have arrived at a different response if he had? and plus, as you say, him taking down the phone network was a class A monkey-paw job, well done crowley). but then he goes on to convince aziraphale into stopping armageddon with him (which, admittedly, does work, but only once crowley changes tack, stops invoking the emotional, and instead lays out the logical, does aziraphale agree).
when the issue arises of the hellhound (which, let's reiterate, crowley did not think to tell aziraphale before this point...), and the prospect of their upbringing plan not working because of this, crowley's reflex is to destroy the antichrist completely - but tempt aziraphale into doing it. when aziraphale pushes back on this more resolutely at the bandstand, crowley's immediate instinct is to just run. fair enough, given that crowley ends up being correct that aziraphale's resolution to beseech to heaven will just go ignored, but he similarly doesn't consider that aziraphale needs to test the hypothesis first, engage a more methodical and strategic approach, before resorting to more scorched-earth measures.
but as you say, this definitely harks back to the pre-fall scene. narratively, we still don't have any confirmation on what leads to aziraphale having any concept of punishment, or a sense of consequence; there is no iron-clad context (that I can see anyway!) as to why aziraphale would start to formulate this rationale - that asking questions might lead to a larger, damning (ha) consequence - when we can only surmise up until this point that angels would consider their creator as benevolent and omniscient.
AWCW presumably doesn't mean anything nefarious behind his questions (i think that can be reliably interpreted from his behaviour and delivery), so why would god ever punish him? this is beside the point, however; in any case, crowley tends to rush to a response, to act, without stopping to consider other factors, other data, and the potential consequences. in the pre-fall scene, if he had acknowledged the warning, the 'data', as it were, that aziraphale was giving to him (that something could go wrong if he continue the path he's walking), he might have arrived at the same action but with considerably more caution, and potentially prevented what happened to him (which, in contextual hindsight, is not necessarily a good thing). we don't have the full narrative yet to tell us what exactly happened during AWCW's fall, but it does seem like crowley is a chronic case of "fuck around - find out."
in this respect i personally find it entirely in character - and rather in-keeping with crowley's overall narrative in both s1 and s2 - that crowley reveals the ruse of the bodyswap in s2; he's not thinking about the consequences that it could have, but thinking entirely based on instinct. he's not thinking about whether gabriel/jim might remember the information, whether gabriel (regardless of his presumed reformation of character in ep6) might exploit that information, but entirely acting on the emotional wave that gabriel is posing a direct risk to aziraphale's safety and wellbeing. plus, we don't know how long he was sat in justine's restaurant for; it's entirely possible that he was three sheets to the wind by the point aziraphale happens upon him.
once again! not sure i arrived at a point! but i think in hindsight this is a really interesting way to read the final fifteen; it's fairly obvious that crowley is acting and reacting emotionally during the feral domestic, and aziraphale is - as metatron-aziraphale theories are indicating at the moment - acting and reacting based on a conclusion he's arrived at from data we've potentially only partially seen/data hidden in plain sight. but then we switch to aziraphale saying "i need you!", which is a hitherto uncommon emotional outburst from him, and crowley... saying nothing. is that crowley's way of thinking logically, analytically? because anything he says is not going to change the outcome - aziraphale will ascend, he will not, and they will still be apart?
on the note of their relationship, it's a really interesting dynamic - how crowley and aziraphale both see it from their perspectives. on one hand, you have aziraphale that goes from crush, to acquaintance, to confidant, to friend, to best friend and person he's in love with. crowley's perspective is... well, it is the same, right? so why does he retrospectively suggest that it's something that it, by all accounts, wasn't? look, maybe crowley was in love from the wall, immediately fell for aziraphale when he told him about the sword - but that's not what's actually shown in the narrative, to the audience. so... if he did, did he even realise it? is that why he looks back on their history as being something that, as far as shown to the audience, it isn't?
the s1 flashbacks are all shown from aziraphale's perspective (why am i only realising this now) - mesopotamia, golgotha, rome, arthurian england, 1601, 1793, 1827, and 1941 all show aziraphale first. the scenes are all set up with aziraphale opening them. it's only eden, uz, 1862, and 1967 that show crowley first... and all of them are pivotal moments for crowley's character development, as well as the development of their relationship specifically. that they learn to confide in each other, then they learn to trust in each other, then they learn the extent of what they mean to each other, and then they learn (or acknowledge) the danger of them being together.
so actually - does crowley think that there's no plot to their relationship? or is it that by 2023, he counts on the fact that the plot has already happened? that the biggest problem they confronted in his view - the holy water and the breaking away from heaven and hell - has been resolved (see: it hasn't), and that they've now reached the happily ever after? rather than the fact that we are actually only just getting to the climax of their personal story? which is also likely the stage that aziraphale was at by ep5, and is considering that crowley, by the time of the confession, is still a chapter ahead? "you go too fast for me, crowley."
(christ i don't even want to know the word count of this answer)
and this is similar potentially to how aziraphale sees crowley own angel-to-demon-to-just-crowley development; that he thinks that crowley as a person would want to be an angel again, "just like the old times, only even nicer", because why wouldn't he? he's a good and kind person, why wouldn't he want to be restored to the station and to the place that - in aziraphale's view - inherently embodies that? heaven has been corrupted, and he could make a difference, but heaven was always meant to be the place of good... right?
well, once again, aziraphale is without data - he doesn't, presumably, fully understand why crowley couldn't ever become an angel again, couldn't set foot in heaven again (not in that capacity, at least). so the conclusion he draws absolutely misses the mark; thinks this is the long-awaited happily-ever-after for crowley, when actually crowley is perhaps a chapter or two behind. s2 has shown more that crowley is able to somewhat accept that he is a good person, but he still has a way to go before he fully acknowledges it, and reconciles that with the, we can only guess, full circumstances of his fall.
last point - so glad that someone else spotted the mirror of the beelzebub proposal in ep1 to the metatron proposal in ep6; i think i gasped when i realised the implication of that conversation between beelzebub and crowley!!!✨
#referring to gabriel as jim physically pains me#he will always be goob to me#my sweet prince taken from us too soon#anyway this was another herculean effort of a LWA response by me - if i do say so myself - and im now exhausted#why do they keep coming back i only regurgitate what they said in an even more long winded way what is Their Goal#good omens#ask#s1 meta#s2 meta#aziraphale meta#crowley meta#pre-fall aziraphale spec#awcw spec#feral domestic/final fifteen meta#all the tags - every single one
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genuinely also curious from other ppl who have drawn from live models. whenever i talk about this experience ppl ask me if the models were all attractive and young and in-shape. in my figure drawing class only two of the regular models could somewhat fit that description. most of them were middle-aged or older people of ordinary (but diverse) proportions. like my experience may not be representative but i find it curious that ppl hear about modelling for a drawing class and wonder if that's like a hot 20-something job. it doesn't seem to be lol
#this is ok to reblog btw i wanna start a discussion#text post#reblog bait#life drawing#figure drawing#like i would be willing to bet there's some body discrimination in some places#where they might have a wider selection of ppl willing to work?#i DONT know anything about working as a model or how ppl get into it or do it steadily on the side#it does seem like an interesting gig for sure. not one i'd wanna get into myself but i'd love to hear abt it from someone who does it#or just observations from other ppl who have taken drawing classes w live models#in my experience (admittedly limited) of looking at reference websites of nude figures... some of them are more 'young and hot'#which kinda DOES NOT surprise me. bc they want ppl to BUY permission to use those photos as drawing references#and perhaps ppl are willing to lay down more money for pretty people? idk. or again it could just be a hiring preference by photographers#could be a multitude of factors.#but it's kind of unnecessary bc in order to learn the fundamentals of drawing realistic bodies u gotta draw a lot of them#u have to see different positions and different features and different shapes and overall different ppl#i miss drawing from live models. most of all for the gestural sessions. those were REALLY fun#very satisfying as warm-up exercises. quick and fast-paced and spontaneous. you cant get that at home
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Having a short post you made on whim with typos pop off over all the stuff you actually spend time on feels like the writer's equivalent to the sketch getting more likes than the finished drawing
#in reference to my last post getting over 200 likes in a day#seems the community agrees with me - I'd better see retraints being taken more seriously by all of us#myself included. I've also underestimated the horror of restraints
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since the release of the smiling friends DVD commentary for the first season I knew something like this would inevitably happen but it’s still disheartening to see tidbits that are very obviously unserious joaks get lauded as the word of god because the creators Said It Is So
like y’all. these two dudes have been internet comedy clowns for years, have Any of you considered the possibility that they’re, yknow, fucking with you when they say some goofy shit because they know a portion of their shows fandom will 100% take it sincerely and unironically, obsessed and fixated on The Great Almighty Canon. like I’m not trying to be a #hater I just have developed a sense to pick up when a piece of information is in jest for funnies. I was raised on rancid irony poison of the golden trolling age of the internet lol it’s not my show or characters etc etc and ill eat this post if its set in stone in an episode but I really doubt deep-cut lore is a priority they hold to satiate some fans out of good faith
#like bro glep is not married to a woman named fuckin Marge Simpson. be for real. get creative as a fan#I’ve seen that dumb lil factoid used as legit reference in a short analysis video taken completely seriously despite it#you can especially say any insane shit about a character that is definitely not going to reappear#like I can’t be the only one in the fandom who’s ignoring shit like that bc idgaf about either zach or michaels preexisting net fame right#I know enough about them to know I’m not makin myself a fan of their general cOnTeNt outside of the tv show airing on AS#they’re talented internet funnymen I’m sorry I just could not care less about the oney legacy😭I’m here for the dipshit cartoon exclusively#this is the pain of seriously considering a show thats entirely based on chaotic absurdism comedy. i do this to myself
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I hate the online DID community bc ive never seen a group of people who are more obviously faking. Like its impossible to find community.
#yes i do want to gatekeep the online DID community.#i think referring to yourself as a system or only using “we” is fucking weird#youre a single person with a fragmented personality. stop calling yourself “we”#like the ONLY time i refer to myself in plural is if im specifically discussing what multiple alters think about something#but most of the time i just say “i think this about x thing” because im normal#and imo people who constantly talk about their alters and their system USUALLY dont have DID and are faking#like if you talk to people who ACTUALLY have ACTUALLY DIAGNOSED DID they all agree that the online community is batshit#and they all agree that like 95% of it is faking#biggest red flag to me is someone who says they have more than 10 alters#bc usually those people have like 25 fictives from an anime that they roleplay with like okay hun but youre fake as fuck#personally. if you're online. im much more likely to believe you if you have a small number of alters.#just because of how this community has been taken over by fakers and roleplayers and kinnies. like its fucking insane
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sleepy mr baby + other random misc images
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. Interesting formations in the bottom of a cocoa powder container#2. more pressed four leaf clovers for the year. found all in one day#3. The picture is so blurry it's hard to tell but it's a DOUBLE clover! I've found multiple 6 leaf clovers before but usuall#y they're connected much higher up where the leaves are and sort of look like one clover. Where this one was like... connected lower down a#the stem and so it literally just looks like two 3 leaf clovers merged together.#4. Love his silly sleepy stretch bapy face#5. An interesting new matching card game thing that I tried playing a while ago. Another into my ever growing giant collection of#games that I rarely have the chance to actually play with people lol.. Current favorites are Bethump'd With Words. Tapple. Lowdown-Go.#classic Boggle and Scrabble and such. This one I think is just called 'SET' ?#For any fellow ... boardgame lovers?? theyre not really boardgames.. But when I say 'card game lovers' then it sounds more like#I'm referring to people who like to play Cards - like rummy or king's corners or jacks up or etc. And I dont mean playing cards type#games. But then if i just say 'Game lovers' then that sounds like video games... hrmm... terminology.. ANYWAY#6. PIGEONS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.. spotted..!! clapping cheering sobbing at their beauty so on and so forth#7. back at it again..I know all of these images look the same because I get the same exact order every single time I go to zero dregrees lo#. but it IS all separate occasions. I allow myself to go one single time a year (pretty expensive like.. $12 for the garlic noodles I think#or even $15. And probably $7 for a drink. so it's a very rare treat). (Garlic noodles with beef. matcha bubble tea. coffee bubble tea. pina#colada smoothie thing (not alcoholic). strawberry cheesecake milkshake.). Funnily looks like I'm just reposting the same image though lol#8. Random picture from that other costume I did a while ago after I had taken the wig off and my hair was sitting funny#Like a pta mom manager side bang sort of look but also with clown makeup lol#9. SKY.. very pale blue and white... perfect..#photo diary
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ah the temptation to refer to myself as if i Am actually donnie turtle because i kin him but not wanting to confuse people and make them think im a system
#captains orders#there have been many times where ive wanted to say something as if im one of my kins (ts‚ don‚ occasionally caleb*)#or use we/us in reference to myself because i like how it sounds#but not wanting to be confused for a system (nothing against them ofc. dont want this to be taken the wrong way)#*caleb is an odd case. i. think? i may have kinned him?? but i dont anymore
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always forget how much fun i find lineless digital painting until i do it again, for some reason i always expect it to be hell but then i get started and it's like,,, oh wait this fucks actually
WIP under the cut if anyone is curious fsdjkl
~
this is about fifteen mins in, I did a simple sketched outline of the bulk shapes first and then blocked out the gist of everything with my paint brush, and I've just gone in and detailed the hands a bit (since they're a good starting place i think for figuring out lighting :3 <- has no idea what they're talking about)
#to be fair this one is a bit easier since i'm using a photo to go off of fdsjkl#so i can reference it for shadows and whatnot#but the hair is different and the outfit is different (the guy does have a hood up though which is incredibly helpful)#the background is the photo btw fdsjkl i ain't doing all that#this is for my fake polaroids project fsjdkl going to just do some random snapshot sort of things#i have ... no schooling or teaching on anything so i really do not have any idea what im doing 90% of the time HFSDGJKL#so if i say some shit... just nod along okay LMAO unless u have something helpful to tell me then pls do dsjkl i love learning#when u are afraid of the art classes in highschool and are afraid to show anyone ur art basically ever then u dont get opportunity to learn#but !! i am figuring shit out myself and its fun to study my art and figure out what im doing that's good and what needs work#and then learning how to study other artists work and figure out what THEYRE doing that u like a lot and how to incorporate it into ur own#but yeah i do wish i'd taken art class in highschool ig fdsfjkl i probably would've been too scared to do much though RIP#me when i ramble for ages about art oops okay back to working on my shit fhdsghjkl#dandy.cmd#doodlebug.jpeg
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I think you're right that it's significant, and I think Mori is clever to recognize that Akutagawa is a rook.
Like a rook, Akutagawa is powerful, but generally contained and often undercut by his predictability. However, because he's keenly aware of his own constraints, and because others often aren't (especially regarding variables they've internalized as known), he's able to play into and against his own predictability to paradoxically surprise them.
He moves within the confines of his rigidity to shape outcomes, sometimes more effectively than his more dynamic opponents and peers. Rooks do that too, if you let them.
Me, knowing nothing about chess, probably overthinking the significance of referencing akutagawa in this scene, but is going to look it up later anyways
#i have very specific chess feelings and thoughts re: rooks (which is what that piece is)#because in elementary school i was in a program for intellectually gifted students - by which i do NOT mean an honors program#i mean i displayed several specific neuro characteristics and struggled in a classroom environment such that i was referred for screening#the results of the screening flagged me for several additional tests and my results on those tests then prompted a comprehensive assessment#which was conducted by a licensed examiner who additionally administered another test chosen specifically based on my prior data#the report from which triggered a review of all of the above data by a panel of specialists who determined that I was wired so atypically#that I required specifically designed support services to avoid an adverse impact my access to education#ie I was not considered academically gifted which is what people are usually thinking of when they talk about giftedness (esp on tumblr)#i prefaced with all of that to counter misconceptions and emphasize that i was not in a program for smart and highly successful students#i was in a program for students with distinct cognitive processing needs that could not be met without specialized intervention#but inanely and entirely b/c of misconceptions the administrators at my school forcibly registered us in an annual chess tournament#which they wouldn't let us opt out of b/c there was a funding incentive for the school if we advanced far enough#ironically chess is a bad fit for this type of giftedness b/c it's rote + relies on bounded conventions instead of creative problem solving#but anyway i did not want to fucking play chess especially not competitively - it's boring and gets redundant#so i intentionally threw all of my games to remove myself from the tournament early#except my fellow indentured chess competitors noticed i was doing that and they were also bored and didn't care for the tournament#and so several of them made a game out of forcibly advancing me as far as they could by outmaneuvering my attempts to lose#horrifically they managed to corner me into winning enough that i was in serious danger of advancing#and so i started AGGRESSIVELY practicing chess in my spare time to learn how to shape the board and get confident in my ability to do so#i played against computers and then strangers online for hours a day and i studied checkmate patterns and how to subvert + reconfigure them#all so i could play well enough to ensure i'd lose even when being actively sabotaged#it worked - i narrowly escaped advancing that year and I don't think they were able to lose to me again after that#they kept trying - even playing me outside of tournaments to try and figure out how i was consistently losing#it's b/c i layered multiple strategies that involved breaking select conventions + manipulating their focus and psychology#BUT the fulcrum of my approach relied heavily on my rooks and select pawns as my most valuable pieces#i got very good at using rooks to shape the board without placing them in a position to be captured until i wanted them to be#once i had a few pawns close to promotion i would shift my rooks into bait b/c once one was taken i could just promote a pawn into a rook#and because absent a potential stalemate people almost always promote pawns into queens#my opponent would forget my additional rooks and would make choices based on the implicit assumptions that my deputized pawns were queens#rooks are treasures
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some things i've manifested
these are some basic stories, but i have some "crazy" ones i might share if you guys want lol
note: before manifesting i used to have a pretty "normal" life. i was conventionally attractive, middle classs, etc. i didn't really "need" anything but a social life and better grades. regardless of that, i just manifested whatever i wanted and didn't limit myself. i also added a few little stories behind them.
appearance change:
changed my hair texture to curly
grew from 5'2 to 5'6
clear, even skin and skin tone (tbh i already had a really good skincare routine, my skin was super clear bc of that BUT my face used to be like 10 shades darker than the rest of my body and i had CRAZY backne and strawberry legs)
losing 30 pounds (i used to be 72kg, now i'm 58kg)
changed my shoe size (i used to be size 9 now i'm size 7)
changed my hand size (for reference, my hands used to be a little longer than my phone, i had a "pro max" sized phone.)
social life:
having good friends in my state (im from up north and was completely lonely in the state i live in now)
popularity (i used to be pretty irrelevant but now everybody likes me and wants to be around me)
getting my sp's (i manifested them from scratch and took inspired action to meet them)
having people crush on me more overtly/ getting approached more (this is kind of a weird one, before my appearance change i was pretty attractive like maybe a 7/10, but i got tired of people just ogling me and not approaching me. i only had the unattractive and overconfident guys approaching me, all the attractive ones just stared lol)
just being likable lol (people used to feel threatened by me or feel like i was standoffish for some reason. idrk tbh but it was VERY annoying. i literally used to get accused of "acting like i own the place" for being quiet and just existing 💀. i didn't really care what they thought, but i hated when they complained about it and tried to make it my problem.)
school:
higher gpa (i used to have a 3.0 but i manifested a 3.8, which is a weighted 4.0)
high grades (i used to fail many tests/exams and have a mix of a, b, and c's. now they're all a's)
dream college acceptance
teachers liking me (they actually used to hate my guts it was so annoying 😭)
school crushes liking me back (tbh they probably thought i was already attractive but they never spoke to me or seemed like they wanted to get to know me)
leaving early (my school day ends at like 12 now)
lifestyle:
living closer to the city
having my dream routine (i have my dream skincare products, haircare products, diet, and health routines.)
having a high self concept (tbh i technically always did, i knew what i wanted and deserved. i just felt more like i was being injusticed. so i got rid of the "unwilling victim" mentality. i also used to ruminate on irrelevant things, like mistakes i made, what people thought of me, etc.)
very high confidence (in my looks, abilities, judgement, etc.)
money for my parents and myself
having a busy, productive life (i used to hate school because my grades weren't contributing to anything i wanted to do in life, so i wanted a productive life outside of that.)
always getting my way
getting all sorts of things for free
and more!
i'd say this all took me around 2-3 months, not because manifesting takes time, but because i assumed a lot of things would take time. i also had periods of doubt in myself and tried to handle things in the 3d on my own for some time.. which obviously didn't work. still, all i did was assume and accept these things as true and they happened overnight, in a day, or within that week. the longest anything's taken me is like 7 days, and that was because i kept wavering in my mind. manifestation is truly instant.
but anyways, i hope this is motivational and helpful. i do have some pretty "ridiculous" stories like some revenge stories, "crazy" stories regarding sp's, some not very appropriate stories, really good things happening to me, and others.
thanks for reading! i hope this helps. 🩶
#edward art#law of assumption#loa#loa blog#loa success#loa tumblr#loablr#loass states#loassblog#loassumption#neville goddard#loa states#loa motivation#loa advice#loa help#loa manifesting#loa methods#loass post#loassblr#loass success#success story
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The Trans Court Suit
This was my big project I made over the summer! I am beyond proud of and happy with the coat.
The first initial project I wanted for this was a pink waistcoat. I grew up liking pink and most of my stuff was, but that (along with growing up in a hot pink room) made me start to resent pink a lot especially as a teenager. (I think a lot of trans guys have similar stories.) But of course pink was very popular for men throughout a lot of European fashion history. So in many ways this was a self healing project for me, at least in that regard. Which I think was a success!
I actually found the first two portraits after I started working on the outfit, they looked perfect! The first especially is super close to my hair.
The silks for the coat as well as the linen interfacings were second hand or scraps in my stash. The cotton sateen was from Burnley and Trowbridge. This is the first project I fully drafted myself. The waistcoat and breeches were made from an 1820s manual and the coat was primarily taken from Period Patterns by Doris Edison, using also Agreeable Tyrant for interfacings and The Taylor's Complete Guide (for shape reference).
This is also the most hand sewing I’ve done for an outfit. Both of the fronts of the coat and waistcoat are completely by hand. Most of the coat is by hand with machine for structural/backstitches, mostly the seams but not the edges. In total there are 22 buttons.
I made the waistcoat straight across for two reasons A. So I can wear it with my other stuff B. I didn’t have any more trim, that was it. I’ll probably make a more 18th century style waistcoat out of white for this (at some point).
The breeches ended up being too small for my thighs so I started getting frustrated with the fit and rushed them by the end so I could move on. (I accidentally sewed the buttonholes on the wrong side).
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