#University of Denver hockey

[mikkomacko]

DOWN WITH UMICH

[ziggyplayedguitar96]

I did not need to see Will Smith, Gabe Perreault, and Ryan Leonard crying after Denver won

[annieqattheperipheral]

WTH IS THIS ARTICLE we have a super spy hockey ninja on the leafs now????

i have no idea who this is and treliving we have no choice but to follow you to the fiery depths of leafie hell but yooo this dude sounds fire for team culture and at bargain price so colour me INTRIGUED

am34's new bunts/bff??? an older rookie'esque grinder who can play top 6.. he does love his geriatric young-at-hearts who beckon to him to be the star and apparently this fella's a chameleon shapeshifter off the ice or something i cannot get a read on this ghost

full article:

The text messages among a group of former University of Denver teammates almost always follow a similar pattern: Someone will try to pry information out of Dylan Gambrell, the 26-year-old centre carving out an NHL career for himself. Yet before they know it, those same friends will instead find themselves sharing insight into their own life and career as the crafty and elusive Gambrell has managed to flip the tables.

That’s the way Gambrell operates.

Sharing personal details doesn’t come naturally to Gambrell. Instead, the Maple Leafs centre signed to a one-year, $775,000 contract this offseason is at his most content when he’s surrounded by teammates, keeping the conversation going but still keeping his cards close to his chest.

“He’s a silent assassin,” former Denver teammate Blake Hillman said of Gambrell. “He doesn’t say much, but he’s very cerebral about the way he handles his life.”

With the likes of Tyler Bertuzzi, Max Domi and John Klingberg joining the Leafs via free agency, the addition of Gambrell has flown under the radar. He’s 26 but has already spent parts of six seasons in the NHL. Early indications are that Domi — despite having played centre before — will line up on the wing to start his Leafs career. And so there looks to be a hole in the fourth-line centre role. Pontus Holmberg could be in contention for the job, given his defensive acumen and how well he adapted in a short amount of time during his 37-game NHL rookie stint last year.

But right now, Gambrell might be in the pole position for the job.

“(Gambrell) has played a lot in the league over the past few years,” Leafs GM Brad Treliving said. “I think he is going to provide us with good depth.”

Those who know Gambrell believe his journey has given him the kind of experience and know-how that could allow him to surprise some onlookers, make the most of his time in Toronto and grab onto a full-time NHL spot.

Throughout Gambrell’s three seasons at the University of Denver, teammates and the coaching staff rarely had to worry much about him.

Not when Gambrell was showing his strong puck skills and speedy skating in a top-six role in just his second year with the program, and putting up more than a point per game throughout his entire three-season NCAA career. And not when contributing in all situations including in key moments late in games en route to a national championship in 2017.

The responsible game Gambrell employed mirrored who Gambrell was off the ice: low-maintenance and remarkably mature. During Gambrell’s 2015-16 freshman season, he was voted the “Most Put Together” teammate in a year-end awards ceremony.

“He’s always been one of those guys looking out for everyone else,” Hillman said of Gambrell.

Gambrell credits moving far away from his Bonney Lake, Wash., home to Colorado at 14 and moving in with the family of future Boston Bruin Brandon Carlo while playing Triple-A hockey as the reason for his early maturity.

“He was always involved (with the team) and always in the mix, in a good way,” Gambrell’s former Denver assistant coach David Carle said.

Carle was invited to Gambrell’s July wedding and was taken aback by the fact that nearly 20 former teammates of different ages were invited. He then remembered what kind of person Gambrell is.

Whenever Carle would tuck his head in on team functions, he would see the entire Denver team in attendance. And he’d then hear later that was because it was Gambrell who would make the effort to include every player, regardless of age or standing within the team.

“(Gambrell) likes to relate to everyone, and in different ways, which is a pretty unique characteristic of his,” former Denver teammate Logan O’Connor said of Gambrell.

While Gambrell might not necessarily be as gregarious as, say, fellow new Leaf Ryan Reaves, his high comfort level with different types of teammates is nonetheless notable. Treliving said early in free agency that he had heard this Leafs team is a “quiet group.” And so Gambrell’s efforts to be consistently inclusive with teammates could have made him an attractive signing in Treliving’s eyes.

“He’s a guy who endears himself well to his teammates because of the quality of person he is, and the values he has,” Carle said.

Being low-maintenance helped Gambrell move on from Denver and earn three different contracts with the San Jose Sharks after being drafted in the second round of the 2016 draft. He spent most of his first full pro season in the AHL learning the ropes, and learning some hard lessons about sticking in the NHL.

Consistency didn’t come easy. Some nights Gambrell looked like the best player on the ice during a 51-game season with the AHL’s San Jose Barracuda, other nights he’d struggle to impact the game.

“He was really hard on himself,” Gambrell’s then-Barracuda head coach Roy Sommer said. “If he didn’t get the results he liked, it affected his personality a little bit. But he started getting better at that.”

Gambrell came to a realization not every young professional comes to: The highly skilled player he was in college, who produced plenty of offence over his three-year career, might not be the player he could be in the NHL.

He’d have to embrace more of the 200-foot game he played at times in college and focus on impacting the game with finer details as opposed to only on the scoresheet. It ended up becoming one of his most important realizations as a pro to date.

“I had to change my game,” Gambrell admits. “Obviously there was a maturing phase, and I realized my defensive game was going to be a much bigger thing. I always thought I was a 200-foot player, but I had to realize how important the defensive side of the game is, too.”

And again, he did it all with the kind of coachable attitude that has endeared him to those who know him. He might have been a relatively high draft pick with a promising offensive future, but his maturity helped him come to an understanding of his NHL future that can be difficult for some to swallow.

“I never once saw him text and complain about being on the fourth line,” Hillman said.

That’s not who he is.

“You’ve got to find your niche,” Gambrell said of his NHL career. “(Playing defensively) was something that helped keep me in the lineup.”

Throughout his four seasons in San Jose, he admired the way veterans such as Joe Pavelski handled themselves with consistent professionalism on and off the ice. It meant that when he landed in Ottawa after an October 2021 trade, he stuck in the NHL with the Ottawa Senators. He scored just seven goals in his 123 NHL games in Ottawa, but the experience added up, as did his ability to read games with his hockey IQ and learn to be in the right spots defensively by utilizing his smarts and speed.

That maturity, skill set and NHL experience could see him beat out the incumbent Holmberg in a training camp battle.

“I think (the Leafs) like my energy and speed and the responsible side of the game that I can bring,” Gambrell said.

The battle for the fourth-line centre role will be one of the few roster battles to watch once Leafs training camp gets underway in September. After a career spent largely out of the limelight, Gambrell will have more eyeballs on him and his play than ever before. To win a spot, he’ll need to show more offence in his game than he has in the NHL. That’s partly why he’s planning on arriving in Toronto well ahead of training camp to acclimatize himself with his new teammates and start developing some chemistry on the ice early on.

But it feels likely the increased attention Gambrell will face in Toronto won’t faze him whatsoever. He’s built his career on keeping his head down and trying to improve.

Just ask his group chat.

“He’s very good at not showing emotion. He always reacts to every situation with calm,” Hillman said. “If there’s one person who will be able to tune everything out, it’s him.”

[bog-horse]

i went to a DU pioneers game tonight and it was so much fun guys :D

[5280customframing]

🏒 Denver Hockey begins tonight! Check out this awesome team signed jersey we framed for Huntington National Bank custom framed using metallic and suede matting, UV glass and wood frame!

[sudden-stops-kill]

frozen four

bc v du

du

[rowdyluv]

reblogging now that its later and more moots are online 🙂‍↔️

@luke-hughes43 and I (mainly meg due to my hectic work schedule) have put together the information to do college fantasy hockey.

If you are wanting to participate in this with us please respond here.

[holy-puckslibrary]

— 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬.

pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x ex-nanny!wife!reader (established); REESE JOHNSON (oc) x ex-nanny!stepmom!reader (platonic / familial)

wc — 4.7k synopsis — family weekend forces reese’s worlds to collide. results are… mixed note — i just really love reese. that's it :) and how dilfy does mr johnson look in that gif good lord

the nanny (series masterlist) | main masterlist

content warnings under the cut.

cw — age gap relationship (erik and the reader, established), vulgar college boys with no respect, busy-bodies who cannot mind their own beeswax, possessive!erik, pregnant!reader (not discussed in detail), sweet bby reese in peril :(

REESE JOHNSON has a problem.

It’s the sort of anxiety-trodden predicament that could’ve been soothed into nothingness had he spoken up sooner. He didn’t because he couldn’t. That was part of the problem. 

And now it’s too late—for solutions or comfort.

The teen, now a second-semester freshman at the University of Denver, had long since adjusted to the heightened scrutiny of his family in the early days of your relationship with his father. Everyone online had to throw in their two cents on the “illicit affair.” Even people who didn’t give a shit about hockey (evidenced by their inability to name a single team) felt they had a right to weasel their way in. While irritating and uncomfortable, the harsh reads didn’t bother him for too long because Reese knew the truth.

He also knew how unnecessarily ruthless people could be when they had a screen to hide behind. The son of a prominent figure in professional sports, Reese knew people stared at him through a very particular lens. It veered toward a rosy sheen every so often, but mostly it was smudged glass. Like a fish tank whose walls were muddy with the greasy impressions spectators left behind. Strangers offering commentary on his father’s life, and by extension his too, was part of the gig.

Frankly, the aftermath wasn’t much different than before. Only the subject matter changed. If it wasn’t thinly veiled insults about Erik’s waning career or his prior inability to keep a girlfriend, it was overly critical evaluations of Reese’s prowess or lack thereof and, unsurprisingly, comparisons between father and son. Without fail, the verbiage and tone implied competition, hinting that their healthy bond was only a bit of showmanship to hide the rocky resentment beneath.

This weekend is different. Sure, his teammates and friends had already gotten ample face-time with both of his parents, as well as his kid sister, but never all at once. Though they all did their best to coordinate, busy schedules rendered a revolving cheering section for Reese Johnson. 

This weekend—family weekend—will change that. By some stroke of luck (or a cruel twist of fate, the jury's still out on that one), everyone would be here… together. And that’s not to say he isn’t grateful for their effort or that he isn’t excited because he is. Reese is thrilled to share this new slice of life with his loved ones. It’s just that…

Reese knows how it looks when they venture out into the world.

Not that his dad is exactly old or even old-looking. In the same way you aren’t questionably young. Still, the age difference is noticeable. Before you were more than a nanny to the Johnsons (if you were ever just a nanny to begin with), it was easier for on-lookers to assess the dynamic, and still, albeit seldomly, they would drum up gossip. Things got remarkably more awkward, though, after his father finally plucked up the courage to propose, and increased tenfold once Erik had a gold band to match. It was as if the wedding ushered in the open season on Johnsons.

More times than he cared to count, Reese found himself cupping Josie’s ears to keep his little sister from hearing jeering crowds calling their dad an old pervert and you a shameless gold-digger. No one’s had to explain what a “sugar daddy” is (or why it's the first thing that auto-populates when you plug ‘Erik Johnson’ into Google), but the burden would’ve fallen on Reese if he hadn’t left her in the car while he ran in to grab a takeout order last summer.

But Erik’s eldest isn’t just worried about his family existing outside the warmth and safety of their insulated bubble. His sleepless nights are filled with fear. Fear of the pain and sadness he’ll undoubtedly feel about it all now that he sees you less as his friend and more as a maternal figure.

Reese’s always been protective; it's led to many a fight with his own father and, sometimes, his own sister. He’s the first to rush to your aid and the strongest force in your defense. The habit, however,  strengthened when his perspective shifted as swiftly as flipping a switch. 

Suddenly, you weren’t just his dad’s girlfriend or the person who made him pancakes in the morning. Or the savior who dropped off his English paper because he was in such a hurry he left it on the printer. You were a confidant, someone he called for when he was in a bad spot or when he wanted to see the latest mind-numbingly bad action flick. When he asked his date to prom, it was you he wanted help from. When Reese was sick, your home remedies worked better than anything store-bought or concocted by his dad. When practice ran over, he could count on you to wait up with his dinner hot and ready, the rest of the house already fast asleep. 

For the first time since he could remember, the Dad-shaped gap wasn’t devastating. It hurt like a bitch, but it was bearable because he had another adult—another parent—he could rely on. In every sense of the word, you were his mom.

And no one wants to hear disgusting lies about their mom.

However, Reese hasn’t called you that yet. At least, not to your face. In passing to his childhood friends or when referring to you with Josie, sure, and once or twice over the phone with Erik, but when he calls for you, he uses your first name like he's still your “nanny-kid.” But it's not for a lack of trying. It’s just that every time he thinks he’s worked up the nerve, the three letters catch in his throat like molasses, and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

Moments like those are the rare few he wishes he were Josie instead of himself. His jovial spitfire of a sister never missed a chance. During her lunch block with classmates, on the phone with their extended family, to strangers at Avs games, or on the sidewalk, the moniker slipped off Josie Johnson’s tongue like water down a slide. Their dad liked to poke fun, warning her to be careful so as not to wear it out from overuse.

Maybe it was the sister snuggled in your stomach that tightened his throat. The baby that could and would call you “Mom” with little effort beyond mastering the string of sound. The baby that would grow up not knowing you as anything besides her mother. It was a shade of ownership Reese felt hesitant to touch. No matter how desperately he yearned to.

The closest he’s come is penning in the title beneath your name on the lanyard that’ll hang from your neck for upcoming festivities. It was a small gesture. Still, it felt like too much and not enough all at once.

Reese is caught between wanting to honor the bond and all you’ve done with the accurate label and the fear of explicitly acknowledging it stirs in his chest. At least in this limbo of sorts, as cumbersome as it's become, Reese can have what he’s always wanted and keep you in his life without risking capsizing the boat with an awkward declaration. It’s an uneasy compromise, but it's the devil he knows. At least he knows what and when to feed it.

Reese hates that he’s letting his worries dictate his life. It's just… hard. No one tells kids how to navigate gaining a new parent or any of the baggage that unique situation carries. No one tells kids how to trust the position’s new occupant not to follow in their predecessor’s footsteps. In his heart, Reese knows you won’t run. But knowing that doesn’t shut down the nagging voice in the back of his mind. The one that drones on like a broken record, telling him that the burden of the word, knotted with his expectations, will be his family’s unraveling.

He couldn’t do that to Josie. To his dad. Or to you and the little sister you’re carrying. 

So, he’ll stomach it. For how long, Reese isn’t sure. But, for now, he’ll stand on the outskirts of the minefield, bidding time.

"Johnson! Your whole family's coming, right?" Kody, a junior defenseman from Fort Collins, yanks Reese from his downward spiral.

The last place he wants to be right now is out in the world. The last thing he needs is to cannonball himself back into the fishbowl. Even if the phantom audience never spoke to him, sometimes their heavy attention pushing into his back was enough to send Reese reeling.

But he made a promise to make more of an effort. To be more social, to have more fun—to take life a little less seriously. 

In his mind, if he was at school to learn and play hockey, there was little room to wiggle. Sure, Reese has had his fair share of adolescent recklessness and could lean toward boyish immaturity at times, but at his core, he was a rule-follower. A responsibility fiend with a penchant for playing the white knight. A stickler for structure. When given the choice between a teenage dream and a full-grown reality, the freshman chose the latter nine times out of ten. 

Reese Johnson’s moral compass weighs down his back pocket; he feels most at peace when things fit neatly into their proper boxes. Good and bad, black and white. One or the other, never both.

Stress and anxiety exacerbate his mental rigidity. And he’s been so fucking far from zen lately.

Reese would’ve broken the stupid promise if it’d been made to anyone besides you. So, when a few of the upperclassmen on the team appeared at his dorm with an invitation to get pizza, he begrudgingly accepted.

It isn’t so bad. Far from awful this far. Definitely not the worst way to spend an evening. His teammates were alright enough guys, and their girlfriends weren’t as callous as he’d expected. Reese just found it hard to connect with them, a situation that couldn’t be more different than his previous team experience. 

With his childhood friends, it all clicked. Fell into place without much real effort from any of them. There was an awkward period, but it ended within the first month and, honestly, had more to do with prepubescent cringe than anything.

An entire semester came and went, and Reese still felt like an outsider. When he looked out onto the ice, he saw a sea of strangers. They had different interests, different priorities. Inside jokes he wasn’t in on. Ones he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in on. Even their sense of decorum was foreign. He was well-acquainted with profanity and vulgar jibes, but Reese’s neck still occasionally heats at their… colorful chirps.

But maybe this will be a good step, Reese thinks to himself as he clears the nerves from his throat, making room for an answer to Kody’s question.

“Uh, yeah. My parents and my little sister,” he nods. The blip of quiet that follows coaxes out further details. “They’re going to skip the mixer-campout thing tomorrow night because of the baby, but they’ll be at the student fair and our scrimmage the next day.”

It feels odd to talk about his family. The words, somehow both intensely personal and casual at the same time, taste funny on his tongue. Reese’s stomach clenches, suddenly too aware that he’s never really had to do this before, the small talk. Back home, everyone knows everyone. There’s little to talk about by way of mundane facts because there’s no need; it would be incredibly redundant. His friends from home wouldn’t think to ask if his family was coming, nor would they nudge him to share their schedule. They’d just know.

Reese is aware that this is a silly thing to get worked up over, or even care about at all. He knows it’s part of the process. Part of making new friends is letting them know you. Telling them about yourself and your life, and all the people in your life. Especially the ones you love. Offering up bits of yourself in exchange for bits of them. Still, it's unsettling. Like he’s inviting a group of strangers to pass judgment on his unconventional family. 

No one’s said anything, but Reese already feels defensive. 

And rightly so, he’d soon find.

"That was quick."

Lane, a senior forward from some beach town in California, draws first blood. The quip seems innocuous, but the shit-eating grin undermines any plausible deniability. Even without his smug expression, they probably would’ve understood the implication lurking below the surface anyway. 

It isn’t the isolated comment that burns the tips of Reese’s ears. It’s the fact that he’s never spoken about the circumstances or the timeline of your relationship with his father. Reese hasn’t tried to hide anything, but he certainly hasn’t been forthcoming either. For all they knew, you could’ve been Josie’s biological mother. A long shot, but feasible enough if you didn't know any better. 

But somehow, this kid from out of state knew. Knew that, by “traditional” standards, it was a little soon for his parents to be welcoming a new life.

"Can you blame him? Hot young thing at your beck and call?” Kent, a sophomore from outside of Toronto, cuts in before Reese can. 

The lecherous glint in the winger’s tone makes his skin crawl. He doesn’t need to look up from his half-eaten slice of Hawaiian to know his mouth matches Lane’s.

“Fuck, dude. I would've knocked her up before she dragged me down the aisle. But, I've heard Viagra massacres your swimmers, so maybe that wasn’t in the cards for Ol’ Johnson.”

The group, crowded around a hodgepodge of tables, descends into a fit of snickers and profanity.

Reese contemplates leaving until a manicured hand gently squeezes his arm. Callahan Graham blinks up at him, a sweet smile tight on her rosy mouth. Callahan “Callie” Graham, Lane’s on-again-off-again girlfriend of three years. They’re “off” right now, if he’s remembering correctly. Not that it matters. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to. Reese’s chin dips in gratitude.

From across the table, Callie’s roommate, Greer, pipes up over the commotion. “I hope I'm as cute as she is when I'm pregnant."

"Me too," Bree, one of the other girlfriends, sighs dreamily into her Diet Coke. "I couldn't believe how pretty she looked the last time she brought Josie to watch you play, Reese. If I was pregnant and holding down a two-kid fort by all by myself for most of the year, I know I'd look it. But I guess that’s just another perk of true love, isn’t it? Beauty in spite of it all.”

Kent snorts. “True love…right.”

Reese’s molars pinch together. Beneath the table, he picks at his nails. It hurts, but it's the distraction he needs right now.

"It's not like being a trophy wife is a real job anyway, so I'm sure that helps. Just lie back and spread those pretty—"

Reese’s fist finishes Lane’s sentence. As badly as he wants to put it through the douchebag’s face, he (thankfully) had the foresight to direct his anger downward. It was the succinct thwack! of his hand against the table that cut the lewd thought off prematurely. 

Reese is a striking juxtaposition; hardened jaw, sharp eyes, pinched mouth—silent. Only his chest moves. Shallowly, the accent on the exhalations.

For a moment, everything is still. It’s nice. While it lasts.

Kody is the one to crack the ill-fated stalemate. Trepidation peeking through the tiny cracks in his smooth confidence, he approaches like a hunter would an agitated deer, “Loosen up, Reese. We're just having fun. And, if anything, it's a compliment."

Reese openly glares, unconvinced.

Kody persists, deadset on being the one to subdue the beast. “Come on, even you have to admit your dad's locked down a fuckin’ tenner. A real win for Team Geriatric, I’d say. You should be proud of him, kid.”

This isn’t the first time someone’s prodded Reese about your physical appearance. He wasn’t blind. He knew you were attractive, but you’d never entered that part of his brain before. Ever. It's as if his subconscious preemptively locked you away in the same box as his dad and kid sister, or any other family member. But they weren’t asking if he thought you were pretty, not really.

The omnipresent “They” wanted to know if he thought you were attractive the way he thought Pedro Pascal or Olivia Rodrigo was attractive. They wanted to know if he felt the way his dad felt about you. They’re probing for a twisted scandal, a sick taboo love triangle. As if they weren’t already gorging themselves on the age difference or the boss/employee origin story. 

They wanted more. They always wanted more. They wanted to take one of the best parts about Reese’s life and fuck it up.

His teammates are proving themselves no different than the losers populating Twitter.

“She ever read to you a story before bed?” Lane again.

Then Kent, in quick succession. “Tuck you in nice and tight, and come running when you had a nightmare?”

There’s barely enough time between the two to squeeze in a meager answer. Though Reese surmises that’s by design. 

Innuendos are funnier when they have a single target in the audience to fly over. At least, to people with cheap senses of humor. Easy laughs are no accomplishment when they weaponize the feelings of an innocent bystander. Even in his anger, Reese wouldn’t have humored them with a doe-eyed reply of feigned ignorance. It wasn't earned. 

“If I got to spend all of high school being coddled by a rocket, I'd still be milking that shit. Maybe if you had, she would've fucked you instead of your dad."

Reese’s brow shrinks to a contemptuous pinch. It wouldn’t take much for him to be reacquainted with his dinner; it’s already halfway there. 

As he looks over at Kody, he loses what little hope he had that he’d find a place in this friend group. He hasn’t found his people yet, on the team or in general, but Reese is certain they’re not sitting around him tonight.

"How far along's your mom?" Callie seizes the conversation knowingly.

Briefly, her pale eyes slice pointedly in the direction of her… whatever Lane is to her, and then back to Reese, warmth restored.

"Uh, almost seven months? But Josie and I were both late, so Dad thinks we'll have to wait until the end of summer until she's here. Maybe they’ll share a birthday.”

"She?" one of the freshman girls squeals, clutching her companion’s forearm in excitement.

"Yeah," Reese says bashfully, head dipping to conceal the grin tugging the corners of his mouth. The meat of his cheeks ache with joy. “Two sisters."

"I give Johnson Sr. six months before he puts the moves on Nanny 2.0,” Lane’s whisper pierces the lukewarm calm that settled the table at his… Callie’s hand. 

She kicks his shin. Hard.

"You really think the old timer's game is that reliable?" Kent picks up the slack between open-mouth chews.

And Kody is not far behind, “He's decently famous and moderately rich. That was enough the first time, so why wouldn't it work for the second? Or, Junior, maybe this next one can be yours—if you pull your head out of your ass in time, that is."

Reese is done. Has met—no, exceeded his limit. He doesn’t have to sit here and take this. Yeah, it would be better for the locker-room culture if he stuck around, but a boost in morale wasn’t worth the decimation of his pride.

His goodbye is simple but effective. The deafening screeeeech! of his chair sliding back on the linoleum.

The sidewalk is blurry beneath his feet as he trudges back to safety. Whether it's the tears’ fault or how quickly he’s running, Reese can’t be sure. All he knows is that he needs to be as far away from them as possible.

He needs… he needs…

Reese’s fingers tremble defiantly while he fishes for his phone. He continues to fight with them, shoving his key into the door and pushing it open with the other as he scrolls through the call log. He slams the world out and hits the green icon.

“Reese? Are you okay?” your groggy, but no less sweet voice flits through his phone. 

Only two rings. 

Reese’s shoulders melt, comforted by the familiar warmth of what home sounds like. But his mouth remains frozen, stuck. 

You allow a few beats of silence to lapse, giving him ample space to answer if he is able and wants to before speaking again. “Do we need to come up tonight?”

He blinks, attempting to wash away the salty film over his eyes to read the clock above his desk. 1:37 AM, the angry red letters read. 

Guilt seeps into the mix of nasty emotions monopolizing his body. The acidic cocktail begins its ascent of his tender throat.

You shouldn’t be up right now. Not this late, not when his sister’s made you an insomniac for so much of your pregnancy. Not because someone was mean to him.

Reese feels like an asshole. An inconsiderate asshole bothering you with his problems in the middle of the night, knowing you’re already sacrificing your weekend for him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for waking you and the baby, and probably Dad, too. I—It's nothing, really. It can wait. We can talk about it when it's not, y’know, the middle of the night.”

“Reese, no one sets off the alarm on my Bullshit Radar faster than you do. You wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t urgent. Talk to me, Reeses Pieces. You know I won’t be able to go back to sleep knowing you’re not alright.”

Reeses Pieces. The nickname, said with such casual affection, is like a magic wand.

“Uh— I-I, um… I had a, um, a r-really bad night… and I— and I just really needed to hear y-your voice, Mom.”

It slips out. Slips free. It just… slips into the mix with all the other words like it belongs there, too. And it does. It feels right. Reese feels a twinge of satisfaction. Regardless of the circumstances (and the night he’s had), it happened.

It finally happened.

The floor crumbles a little and gentle flames lick at Reese’s cheeks. His phone feels as though it's floating up and away from his clammy palm. He’s telling his fingers to tighten their grip, to hold on. They hesitate, and when they finally decide to obey, it only makes matters worse. He fumbles, nearly dropping his phone to the floor. The elephant easing down onto his chest is making it hard to focus, to think, to listen. 

“Reese? Did I lose you, bub?”

He blinks himself out of the daze. “Hmm? No, I—I, sorry. I’m here.”

“Oh, Reesey. I was just saying I was glad you called then. I mean, I always love it when you call. Even when it’s to tell me you sent your Airpods through the washing machine. Again.”

Reese barks out a phlegmy laugh.

Note to self: the rice hack only works the first time you let your electronics go for a swim.

Second note to self: this reaction—this non-reaction is better than any teary blubbering or callous rejection. Normalcy doesn’t require a reaction.

“You can always, always call me. Especially when you’re having a rough time. Even when it's the middle of the night. My main priority in life is making sure you’re safe and happy, you and JoJo. And the peanut sitting on my bladder. And the 6���4 blanket-hog snoring like a hacksaw beside me.”

“Maybe we should get Dad a sleep study coupon for his birthday,” Reese teases.

He feels better now. You, and finally being courageous enough to be vulnerable, was the medicine. Reese feels lighter than he has since you dropped him off in September.

You snort. “I’ll gladly pay to see your dad covered in wires. But, as much as I love laughing at his expense when he’s none-the-wiser, that's not why you called. Spill it.”

He does. The spiel tumbles out like an overdue avalanche, and Reese hardly realizes how quickly he’d been talking until he finishes with burning lungs. You listened patiently, letting him get it all out without interruption. You were good about that, knowing when someone needed room to rant more than they needed interjections with guidance or commentary. Reese usually fell in the first category, tonight being no exception.

“…I just don’t get why they found it so funny. Or why they even thought to say it in the first place. It's so...gross.”

He listens to you sigh and knows you’re doing it through your teeth. You’re probably massaging the waves of frustration between your eyebrows, nose scrunched. Josie calls it your ‘Dragon Face’ because of the way frustration contorts your features, but Reese adopted the term into his own lexicon because it almost always appeared when someone threatened the safety of your family. Like him, you’re generous with your protection. Fierce without delay. 

“Because you aren’t them, Reese. You’ve always had a strong sense of right and wrong, respectful and not. And you’re rarely swept up by group-think, if ever. Those things may feel like a curse right now, but I promise they’ll be superpowers one day.”

“I wish I could fast-forward to that day. This sucks,” he groans, tossing himself backward onto his twin bed.

“It does suck. Majorly. Still, even if you had time travel in your vast arsenal of powers, I’d tell you to stay put, Reese. Part of college is learning how to deal with immature people, building up a tolerance for their bullshit as you grow stronger and more confident in yourself.”

“But I’m not strong. I ran away crying like a little baby,” Reese croaks into his pillow. A warm saltiness tickles his eyelashes.

“You removed yourself from a bad situation, and you let yourself feel your feelings in the present tense. Those are both huge wins in my book,” you counter.

Your voice is louder now, stronger. Like coaxing Reese—coaxing your son out of a pit of self-pity breathed all the energy you lacked for the better part of a year back into you. The subtle shift whittles away some of his earlier guilt.

“It takes guts to do that, Reese. Most people spend years trying to learn what you did instinctively. Some people never learn to do it at all. And don’t tell anyone, but I’d put money on Kody, Lane, and Kent being some people.”

Reese snorts. “I know you’re right, but I think what’s actually bugging me is that you guys’ll be subjected to that shit this weekend. It’s one thing for them to say it to me, but it’s another to say it to you or in front of JoJo. I hate that people care so much about us and our business that they can’t keep their mouths shut. If you don’t feel comfortable coming now, I would totally understand. Fuck, if I were you, I’d never visit again. Maybe I could come home this weekend instead?”

“Reese, as sweet as that is, the only thing that’ll stop me from coming this weekend is early labor, not chauvinist pigs.”

“You shouldn’t even have to hear it, though. And besides, won’t smiting college kids stress the baby out?” Reese asks, worry tearing through his voice despite the lighter tone.

“Do you honestly think your dad will let them get more than a couple words out?” you ask through an airy chuckle.

For the second time tonight, someone else speaks before Reese can.

Erik’s voice is muffled and gravelly, but the protective bite—the very same one that took hold of Reese at dinner and you just moments ago—is loud, “They’ll keep their mouths shut if they want to keep whatever teeth they have left.”

💌 if you liked it, pls lmk! 💌

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[shadowkoo]

Bad For You - Teaser

→ Summary: Jungkook wants what he can’t have and it’s driving him nuts. He’s never thought of Natasha more than Namjoon’s annoying little sister, but that’s all changed now that she's returned from university. Especially now that she plan to stay at his apartment until further notice. Having Tasha around takes his mind off the importance of this season, something he cannot have happen since last season ended so badly. A distraction like her might either become the biggest mistake of his life, or perhaps the best one.

Natasha know better than to sleep with the up-and-coming, all-star, fan-favorite hockey forward for the Denver Dragons. And it’s not because he’s just as much a player off the ice as he is on it. More importantly, he’s her brother’s teammate, best friend, and the guy whose place she's crashing at. He’s been off-limits since the day she met him, but it didn’t stop her then, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to stop her now…

↠ jungkook x o.c. | dual 1st person pov | 224 words | 18+ ↠ genre: smut, hockey au, professional athlete au, brother’s best friend au, forced proximity, age gap, forbidden relationship

→ Teaser Warnings: Jungkook is hot and bothered, and takes a steamy shower where he masturbates to past memories 😏

→ Official Teaser for Bad For You, Fic 1/7 of the All About You series

Jungkook

I undress and turn on the hot water, letting it fall onto my chest as my head falls back. I have one hand extended out to the wall, which I lean on for support. The other trails down my body, down toward my throbbing dick.

It won’t take me long to get off. Not when I'm so worked up.

I rub my thumb over my tip a few times before starting to pump my length.

Thoughts of Natasha cloud my mind. Like how she tasted that night. Like how she panted in my ear and begged for more.

My hand moves faster and I grit his teeth.

So maybe I lied. Maybe it wasn’t only a kiss. Maybe my fingers were also deep inside Tasha's tight little pussy.

The memory alone sends me over the edge. The grip around my thick member tightens, and I toss his head back as my load shoots into the drain below me.

Masturbating to the thought of my best friend's little sister isn’t a very proud moment in my life. It’s a shameful thing I'll hardly admit to doing more than once, even if that’s not the truth.

I breathe deep and closes my eyes. I'm fucked for sure. Natasha's not even back in my life yet and I'm already losing control. How on earth am I going to survive?

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©shadowkoo 2024. All rights reserved.

[mikkomacko]

No I wish Bobby Brink was playing tonight so the DU boys could cheer him on :,)))

[ziggyplayedguitar96]

Denver just beat BU

[goldenseresinretriever]

False Confidence: Chapter 12

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: The Athletic named Javy Machado the fifth sluttiest player in the NHL last year. He’s a known playboy who leaves every game with a different girl. As far as he’s concerned he’s living the dream, playing his dream job with the dream lifestyle. Unfortunately his friends and bosses don’t agree. At 33, they think it’s time for him to settle down. You’re a kindergarten teacher at an esteemed private school. You don't expect much when you finally accept your colleague’s invitation to attend her husband’s hockey game but when you accidentally get separated in the post-game rush, you find yourself in a compromising situation with the last person you’d ever expected to meet. When his PR rep suggests a mutually beneficial agreement, your hands are tied. How long will you have to keep up the act? And how long will you be able to?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: Happy Friday, y’all!

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

You examine your classroom, straightening the decorations that you’ve hung on the wall. Every square inch of the room is decked out in various shades of pink, red, and white. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and while your students are too young to really grasp the concept, the air has been buzzing all week. It has little to do with love and everything to do with the promise of candy and cookies at the class party on Tuesday.

You find your eyes searching for the calendar on the classroom wall and a frown creeps up onto your lips. The Dogfighters are on a road trip right now and you’ve found yourself irritated at the way it feels like life has seemingly returned to the way it was before you met your new friends. You’ve spent the last week going home straight after work, occasionally to the Fitch house where you help Josie with the kids while she attempts to get some work done. She’s stretched thinner than usual with Reuben out of town and you can’t help the way you wonder to yourself if this is your future. And while it makes you nervous, there’s a part of your stomach that flutters giddily.

You and Javy have been official for a little over a week, but the road trip has taken up most of that time. You’re anxious to see Javy again, and you’re seriously starting to doubt the old proverb that promises that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ve finally allowed yourself to be upfront about your feelings for him, given that he’s actually your real boyfriend now. He’s your real boyfriend now. You can’t help the way you bounce on the balls of your feet in excitement as a fresh wave of giddy butterflies flutters through your stomach. Another glance at the calendar reminds you that despite this being your first Valentine’s Day with Javy, he’s going to have to meet it, playing a game in Seattle tomorrow night. The two of you have plans for the weekend, however, a belated celebration once he’s back and rested. After the game in Seattle, they have one more game in Denver on Thursday before they get back to San Diego on Friday.

“You’re in a good mood this morning.” A voice from behind you teases and you pause your drawing on the board to look over your shoulder to where Josie’s leaning against the doorframe.

“Josie! Good morning!” You greet her as you cap the marker and wipe your hands off on your overalls as you go over to give her a hug that she returns before handing you a to-go cup that smells delicious.

“We stopped for a little treat this morning since the kids are missing Daddy extra.” She gives you a tired but rueful smile. You know if you miss Javy after barely dating him for a week, Josie must be missing Reuben something fierce after being married for a decade.

“They’ll be home on Friday,” you remind her, trying to sound cheerful but your melancholy must show through your facade because Josie gives you a gentle smile.

“Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?” She asks, and you see a scheming twinkle in her eyes.

“Tomorrow? Nothing really, I was going to watch the match while I grade papers, and then Javy said he’d call afterward and we could get takeout for Valentine’s Dinner.” You ignore the way your stomach flips at the words Valentine’s Dinner. “Why? Did you need help with the kids tomorrow night?”

“Yeah actually,” Josie says casually, sliding a hand into her pocket. “I thought maybe we could watch the game together?”

“Of course! That would be so much fun, what time should I come over?” You’re secretly excited not to have to spend the night alone with your TV and your thoughts when you’re sure the jitters will be too distracting to get any work done anyway.

“Well we’re going to have to leave right after school if we’re going to make the flight,” Josie says and you blink, confused until you look down and see the tickets that Josie’s holding out to you.

“W-what?” You stammer as your brain struggles to catch up with your eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Roadie,” she says and you look from the tickets back up her and then back down to the tickets before you almost spill the coffee in your hand as you throw your arms around Josie. Josie laughs, fishing the coffee from your hand and depositing it safely on a nearby bookshelf.

“Josie, I can’t, it’s too much,” you blubber uselessly as you sob into her shoulder, all composure lost at your best friend’s kindness.

She just shakes her head as she pats your back comfortingly. “The kids miss their dad, I miss my husband, and you can’t miss your first Valentine’s Day with Javy. He’s still not my favorite person in the world but he makes you happy so I can’t hate him.” You choke out a chuckle at Josie’s words.

“Thank you, Josie.” You whisper and she just shakes her head again.

“Don’t thank me, just enjoy the day.” She pauses before she adds. “I’d originally wanted to surprise you with it tomorrow but I figured I should give you a chance to pack.” She laughs and you join in.

“I think my brain might have exploded,” you point out and she laughs harder.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, so we have just one car and we can go straight from work to the airport.” You nod, still breathless over the fact that you’ll get to see Javy tomorrow.

“Wait, do the boys know?” You ask, your brain firing at a mile-a-minute.

Josie shakes her head, a conspiratory grin spreading across her face. “I thought we could surprise them. Zam knows she’s the one that arranged the game tickets.”

“We’re going to the game?!” You grasp the papers Josie’s still holding and you shuffle through them to see the game tickets under the plane tickets. “Josie!” You shriek and she laughs, head tipping back.

“Don’t yell at me, those are complimentary! WAG privileges,” she reminds you and you shake your head in disbelief. Not only do you get to see Javy tomorrow, but you get to go to the game and surprise him. “Alright, I need to get going before my kids start showing up but I’ll see you at lunch,” you wave to Josie before returning to your prep for the day.

Suddenly you feel ridiculous for all the stressing you’ve done over the past week, trying to decide what to get your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. You know Javy has no qualms about spending ridiculous sums of money on you, but you’re not exactly in a position to do the same. All the same, you’re feeling pretty proud of your Valentine’s Day gift for Javy. You’re also extremely happy that you finished in time for Valentine’s Day despite thinking you wouldn’t be able to give it to him until Saturday. You’re nervous but excited to see his reaction to it. You’re even more excited to see his reaction to your and Josie’s surprise.

***

You’re secretly glad that all you have planned for today is a Valentine’s Day party. You’re not sure you have the focus required to teach your students today since you’ve been bouncing off the walls with nervous excitement since you got out of bed this morning, not that you’d slept much at all. You’re secretly thankful for the parents who volunteered to help with the party because your mind is on this evening, your eyes flitting to the clock constantly, counting down the seconds until you’re done with work.

You know you should calm down and conserve your energy. The next twenty-four hours are going to be a whirlwind. After school ends, you have to rush to the airport to make your direct flight to Seattle, and from there you need to rush to the arena to make it in time for the game. After that, you’ll spend the night in Seattle before catching a red-eye from Seattle back to San Diego with barely enough time to make it back in time to teach Wednesday morning. Josie’s planning to drop off the kids with Penny for the day, since they’ll likely be too exhausted to handle a full day of school after all that travel. You secretly wish you could afford to take tomorrow off, but with so little notice, you know better than to try.

Your eyes move from the clock to the comically large vase currently taking up most of your desk. The flowers had been delivered during first period and you can’t help the giddy smile that stretches your face as you look at the bright orange blossoms. Your students had descended into giggles when you told them it was from Javy and you couldn't help but join in.

***

Your students finally make their way to lunch and you slump across your desk, letting the scent of the tiger lilies above you permeate your nose, and as sweet as they smell, you find yourself missing a different scent, a smokier, spicier one. You let out an exhausted groan as Josie lets herself in, coming to sit across from you.

“He sent you flowers,” she remarks, and you think she sounds a little impressed. You turn your head to squish your cheek against the cool wooden surface as you look at her and nod.

“Aren’t they perfect?” You say, a shy smile tugging at your lips as you follow her gaze to the orange blossoms.

“Tiger lilies? Not roses?” She asks, reaching a hand out to finger the blossoms, curiously.

“They’re my favorite.” You explain. “I don’t know how he knew,” you muse as a thought occurs to you. “Did you tell him?” Josie holds up her hands in surrender.

“It wasn’t me. I didn’t even know you liked tiger lilies.” Your brow furrows in thought.

“Well, technically, I love all lilies,”

“But those are your favorites now since they’re the ones he bought you,” Josie interrupts your thought and you look at her, surprised as you nod, cheeks heating.

“I used to like mums, back in college, they were my favorite and I was super vocal about it. Then I met Reuben and on our first date he bought me dahlias because he’d bought them thinking they were just big mums, and in that moment I realized I never wanted anything but dahlias. They reminded me of him, and how eager he was to make me happy, and now they’re my favorites.” The two of you sit in content silence for a long moment before she speaks up again. “Are you excited for tonight?” Your face brightens instantly and you nod enthusiastically.

“I still can’t believe it’s real, thank you so much again, Josie.” She shakes her head.

“Thank you for coming with me,” she chuckles, “but after you experience flying with two kids, I don’t think you’ll take me up on the offer again.” She teases and you roll your eyes.

“I love your kids,” you remind her and she chuckles.

“You do now, just wait.”

***

You can’t help the nerves that are pacing in your stomach as you worry the edge of the jersey you’re wearing. You try to channel the restless energy into helping Josie wrangle the kids. They are restless too, excited to see their dad, and cranky from their naps on the plane. You can’t find it in you to be irritated with them when you see your own raw emotions on display in them. You glance over your shoulder, anxious for warmups to begin so you can see Javy and the tension in your heart can finally snap.

Skylar bumps into you on accident as she tries to wrangle one of the homemade signs that are jammed into the bag on the floor. They’re incredibly cheesy, but Josie had insisted that they’re a necessary part of the surprise. You help her unfold them and hand her and Jamie the one they’ll hold together. It’s a simple mess of glitter and paint that reads, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Daddy!” Josie gives it a long look like she’s considering hoisting it herself and you roll your eyes as you slide out the sign that Josie made for the two of you. You haven’t seen it yet and you’re a little nervous. Josie is a lot braver than you are and she’s been married for a decade while you’re in your first real relationship that’s barely a week old. You carefully unroll the sign and feel your cheeks heat as you read the words on it. “It’s not just puppy love, Happy Valentine’s Day, Dogfighters!” It’s sweet and playful but your eyes are caught on one particular four-letter word.

Your heartbeat thunders in your ears so loud that you almost miss the rise of cheers that rise through the arena. You look up as Josie grabs your arm in one hand and her side of the sign in the other. You’re yanked back to the present as a familiar blur of green whips down the ice towards you. The team heads down to their end of the ice to start warming up and you remember to lift your edge of the sign as your eyes dart furiously from one player to the next, searching for number 68 and any sign of Javy. You hear the kids screaming for their dad in the corner of your consciousness, followed by the pound of their little hands against the glass as Reuben skates up.

Your eyes turn more frantic even though you know he’s here somewhere, he has to be. Your heart thunders in your chest as the unreasonable doubts start crawling in and making a home in your aching chest. You miss the moment a figure on the ice stops until a full body slams into the glass in front of you making the whole wall shake and then you’re looking at Javy’s full grin and wide eyes and he looks like an excited puppy as he gapes at you. You can’t help the excited grin that bubbles to the surface and matches his. You wave slightly as you place your hands on the glass over his on the other side.

“Hi,” you whisper even though you know he won’t be able to hear you.

“Hi,” he breathes back. His breath clouds the glass and your stomach flips when he draws a lopsided heart and writes “hi” inside it. You giggle as grins at you. Your moment is broken as Jake skates by and grabs Javy by the back of his jersey playfully. He blows you a kiss as he drags Javy back towards warmups. You try not to think too hard about the fact that Javy’s eyes stay on you the entire time before they disappear back down the tunnel.

***

You know you should be focussing on the score. It’s currently tied at 1-1 but instead, you’re still dizzy over the adrenaline of the day and the way Javy’s playing at the top of his game today. He’d assisted Jake’s goal in the second period, and you spent the whole break watching the replays online since it was on the other side of the rink. The score remains tied and the clock is running on the third period. Your lips are gnawed to hell as you watch the clock drop lower and lower. This period the Dogfighters are shooting on your side of the rink and you’ve been glued to the glass since it started. You wince as one of Seattle’s defensemen scuffles with Javy by the boards feet away from you, digging at the puck as it slides between their sticks and skates. Your brow furrows as a stray elbow catches Javy’s shoulder and you shout out in protest, as your hands find the glass where you bang alongside the Seattle fans. When you hear them cheering for the other player, you hear your voice rise, cheering for Javy amidst the louder screams. You’re caught up in the fever, the adrenaline of the game, the excitement of the day, and seeing your boyfriend. You catch his eye briefly as his eyes dart up unconsciously and you swear he winks at you, sending heat up your cheeks and knocking the breath from your lungs. Javy manages to dig the puck out of the corner and you watch as he knocks it backward to where Jake’s waiting to whisk it off towards the goal. Your heart is in your throat as you watch Jake’s approach, the opposing defense coming up to try and block his path to the goal. His linemates are trying to open themselves up for a pass but there are no open paths on the ice.

You watch his stick swing anyway, but you don’t see the puck fly into the fray. Your brow furrows in confusion until you watch Javy shoot out from behind him, the puck dancing along the edge of his stick, completely unmarked. Your stomach flips as you see the look on his face. For a moment it feels like you’re watching the sun come out from behind the clouds as you take in the boyish grin stretched across Javy’s face. His eyes are glinting with mischief you’ve seen plenty of times on your students’ tiny faces, and he’s glowing with confidence as he whips down the ice. Your heart is in your throat as you watch the other players slowly realize where the puck has gone and then you watch the black disk fly off the end of Javy’s stick. The goalie starts to move in his direction, but it’s clear he hasn’t realized Javy’s shot until it’s too late and his glove is still inches away as the puck sails over his shoulder.

You’re sure you’re screaming and then Josie’s screaming and she’s grabbing you and you’re grabbing her, and you can’t take your eyes off him as he roars in triumph and then he’s pointing with both hands and you’re trying to understand what at, it doesn’t make any sense and then he’s laughing and you read his lips as he tries to contain himself. “You.” Your brows furrow and you look down at yourself in confusion before turning around to look behind you as Josie laughs beside you as the other boys start crowding Javy.

Josie grasps your shoulders as your confusion grows. “It’s you, Roadie.”

“W-what’s me?” You ask, glancing back towards the ice where Javy’s getting set up for the next face-off.

You look back in time to see Josie shake her head, a fond look in her eyes. “Everything,” she says before giving you a tight hug and you feel your stomach twist as you watch the jumbotrons replay the goal and you watch Javy point at the stands all over again. Oh. You. You’ve spent your whole adult life expecting not to be chosen, never expecting to be anything but the butt of a joke, that you weren’t worthy of being chosen. People look through you, people look past you, people don’t look at you, people don’t see you. And yet in the last month, you’ve felt more seen than you have in the last thirty years of your life. They look at you, they see you. He sees you.

You don’t hear the whistle, you don’t hear the last of the game, you don’t hear the horn as the clock runs out. You’re overwhelmed, and you’ve been overwhelmed before, but it’s different this time. The usual fear, the pain, the panic, none of that is what you feel now. “Roadie?” You blink and realize belatedly that you’re crying and you turn to her and throw your arms around her neck.

“Thank you, just thank you.” You don’t recognize the sound of your voice as you shake your head and just hold your best friend. She doesn’t question it and holds you back like she already knows, and maybe she does.

***

You place a hand over your knee to try and stop the way it’s restlessly bouncing as you sit on the bench in some hallway, waiting for Javy. You’re not a spouse, so you weren’t allowed into the locker room area with Josie and the kids. A member of the Kraken’s staff had led the four of you to the private section of the stadium and you’ve been waiting for at least an hour. You turn your phone on, glancing at the clock and debating texting Javy but you know he’s probably just finishing up his post-game responsibilities. He knows you’re here. He’ll find you. You stifle a yawn as you stare at the screen, your stomach dropping as you realize how few hours you have until you’ll have to head back to the airport and back to your life.

You close your eyes, trying to ignore the math that your brain insists on doing because it’s not enough and you’re not ready to be back home, exhausted and alone, thrust back into your routine for another three days until Javy gets home. You barely suppress a groan as you lean your head against the wall behind you, trying to reconcile the consequences of your actions as the lull in the business of the day gives you a break from the adrenaline that’s been coursing through you all day. You’re slowly descending into a spiral of your own thoughts when you hear the squeak of hinges in your periphery and you turn your head, your body sitting up, the giddy excitement of seeing Javy beating out the exhaustion settling into your bones as you watch the corner, begging Javy to come around it.

You’ve barely caught enough of his silhouette to confirm it’s him before you’re bouncing off the bench and running for him. Running to him is a blur, but then you’re in his arms, and the scent of sweat mixed with his cologne engulfs your nose and you feel the tension melt out of your body as you settle against him. The two of you stay silent for a long beat, your bodies refamiliarizing themselves with the feeling of holding the other, committing it to memory, to carry the two of you through the rest of the week. When the two of you finally choose to speak, it happens at the same time.

“Thank you,” Javy whispers into your hair.

“Thank you,” You croak, your voice breaking over the words all over again. The silence that falls between you is comfortable and you can tell he’s waiting for you to go first so you tell him the words that have been on your lips for the last hour. “Thank you for seeing me.” Your chest heaves shakily as you fight the words out, but his arms just tighten around you as he holds you, like he’d physically hold you together if you shattered to pieces.

He pulls back and removes his hands from your waist to cup your cheeks as his dark eyes look into yours and straight through to your soul. “You’re impossible to miss.” He says as he strokes his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks, and when he says it, you find that it’s not so hard to believe it. “Thank you for coming,” he whispers before running his nose against yours, your lips just shy of ghosting over each other.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” you whisper back, and when he kisses you it feels like you’ve let out a breath you’ve been holding for the last week.

“Alright, Meep,” Javy says when he finally pulls away, leaning his forehead against yours, arms returning to your waist to keep you close, “you gonna tell me what you’re doing here, beautiful?” You feel your cheeks heat even though you’re already in his arms, and he’s already kissed you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Javy.” It sounds so silly as you say the words, but you wonder if that’s because it’s the first time you’ve said them romantically.

He chuckles softly before pressing a simple kiss to your lips “Happy Valentine’s Day, Meep, but I mean what’re you doing in Seattle on a school night.” You shrug slightly because you don’t really have an answer.

“Josie’s the right brand of crazy and she has the budget to back it up?” You both laugh at that.

“I hate to ruin the mood,” Javy says before closing his eyes for a moment, “but when do you leave?” Your stomach drops again. In the joy of being reunited with Javy, you’d forgotten that you’ll have to leave him again in just a few short hours.

“We have a red-eye back to San Diego so we can make it back to work tomorrow,” you explain and you know Javy’s doing his best not to mirror the disappointment you’re feeling. “But you’ll be back in San Diego on Friday, right? That’s not so bad.” One glance at him says that he believes your words about as much as you do. “But at least we have tonight,” you relent.

“At least we have tonight,” he agrees. “Well then, let’s not waste a second.” He leads you out of the stadium. Most fans have since dispersed, returning home since it’s a Tuesday. The area around the stadium is lit with lights as and there are a fair amount of people milling around. Javy takes your hand and leads you through the park surrounding the stadium as you crane your neck back to get a good look at the Space Needle as it closer and closer.

There are a few people milling around and entering the Space Needle as you and Javy approach the ticket desk. The lady at the desk’s eyes widen in recognition as Javy purchases tickets for the two of you. When you enter, you stay close to Javy, feeling nerves bubble like butterflies as the photographer takes your picture and you watch Javy give him him email address for the photos. “My privacy is already nonexistent, there’s no need to compromise yours,” he explains when you offer to give yours instead. You walk up the spiral walkway to the elevator with Javy’s hand in yours. The ride to the top is silent and you’re sure you notice the elevator attendance staring at the two of you. The fact that you’re wearing Javy’s last name on your back doesn’t really help with the subtlety.

When the elevator doors open your breath catches in your throat. There are glass walls separating you from the balcony that wraps around the room the elevator opens onto, but you can already see the lights of Seattle twinkling from here. You find yourself dragging Javy to the balcony. The city of Seattle is alight all around you. From here you can see Climate Pledge Area, the rest of the park, and various museums in the area around you. You can also see the darkness of Elliot Bay. As you make your way around the balcony, you come face to face with the dazzling skyscrapers of downtown as the city itself sprawls out into the distance. It’s gorgeous and your fingers itch to paint the stunning view. You pull out your phone, snapping some inspiration photos. You’re already planning how you’re going to approach the painting when Javy slides his arms around your waist from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“What’s going on in your pretty little head, Meep?” He asks and you feel embarrassment creep over you for just abandoning him when he brought you up here and came all the way here to see him.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how much I want to paint this view,” You explain as you gaze out at the city below you.

“Well, I can’t wait to see it,” Javy whispers. “And I hope I have first dibs when it goes on sale,” he murmurs, nuzzling your cheek gently.

“Javy, I’m not making you pay for my art!” You exclaim indignantly, leaning into him as the wind off the bay whips around the two of you. Javy wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling you close.

“Pretty girl, where is your coat?” He asks as he snuggles you.

“We live in San Diego, I don’t have one!” You grumble indignantly. “It doesn’t get this cold there,” he nods against your shoulder.

“Okay, that is true, I’ll give you that.” He rubs your arms. “At least you’re wearing long sleeves,” he points out.

“Do you like it?” You’d been too shy to ask last time. Well, that and last time you hadn’t been wearing his name as his real girlfriend.

“I love it,” he says with a forcefulness that makes your heart flutter.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” You wiggle out of his grip to get the box out of your purse. “I know we’re going to celebrate on Saturday, but I figured since I was going to be here, I could give you your gift today!”

“Meep,” Javy groans. “You came all this way, you didn’t have to get me anything, plus I don’t have your gift here,” he bemoans and you wave him off.

“You didn’t know I was coming, and neither did I until yesterday, so I had already gotten you a gift. Plus, you bought the tickets to come up here,” you remind him. You hand him the narrow box and he arches a curious eyebrow as you draw the sleeves of your jersey over your hands and hug your arms around yourself. Javy notices and gently guides you so that your back is to the building behind you and he’s blocking the wind with his body before he opens the box. You hold your breath anxiously as he unwraps the paper inside before his breath catches.

“Roadie…” he murmurs and you swallow hard, trying to decipher if you’ve hit the nail on the head or missed it entirely. Javy lifts the tie out of the box, examining it in the light that’s filtering out from inside. You’ve covered the originally-white fabric with fabric paint, doing your best to recreate a slice of the cliff painting he bought at your show. And there at the very bottom are the embracing figures that represent him and you. “Roadie, this is beautiful. Did you paint this?” His voice is full of awe as he looks at you and you nod.

“I know it’s not the most faithful recreation but fabric paint is pretty fickle. I thought maybe you could wear it with one of your game day suits.” You admit. While exploring the team’s Instagram account you found the highlight of game day suit posts, and that had inspired you to make the tie.

“I’m getting rid of every other tie I own when I get home,” Javy declares and your eyes widen in horror.

“But this is blue, and it won’t match every suit!” You protest and he chuckles.

“Well then I’ll just get rid of all the blue ones, and every year I can get rid of a different color.” You see the nerves dancing in his eyes at the boldness of his statement, at the assumption that there will be more years. That you’ll be together long enough for a dozen Valentine’s Days and a dozen ties.

“Well I do take requests,” you say and you watch the anxiety leave his shoulders and you kiss your boyfriend at the top of the Space Needle on the night of your very first Valentine’s Day, and everything is perfect.

A/N: The Valentine’s Day festivities aren’t quite done yet, what do we think Javy has planned for Saturday?

[puckpocketed]

30/06/2024 - The Colorado Avalanche draft Tory Pitner 185th overall.

I think that I can use my brain and really bait other players into plays that they don't want to make and then close out. Really take away time and space, and ultimately just be a prick to play against - I don't know if I can say that on this - but I think that I can defend really well.

[full draft day interview transcript + an introduction by me under the cut]

Foreword: This transcript was done by hand to the best of my ability and edited for clarity. In bold text are my highlights, parts I thought were noteworthy and interesting. I removed filler words (um's and uh's). In square brackets are where I've added words or adjusted words for clarity. In the regular parentheses are small notes for added context. Tory Pitner is a fascinating player. He does not have the high-end skill you saw go in the first round. He is foremost a shutdown d-man. But he is smart, driven, methodical in his preparation and training, and most of all a true scholar and lover of the game. If anyone has an EP Rinkside subscription, I would encourage you to read the article written about him. The bulk of it is an interview, in which he goes into vivid detail about several top draft picks from this year whom he has played against, and how he goes about shutting them down. He has their on-ice habits broken down and analysed; from their handedness to the types of shots they like to make and the dekes they like to use. He watches NHL defensemen, describing his study with the fervour of an academic, a mad scientist, and a fan all at once. He has charmed me utterly, and I think it's because we love hockey in such similar ways. I love the details of the game, I love watching good and interesting hockey above all else, and I absolutely love studying it (albeit on an amateur level). And, okay, I don't like to make bold predictions, so I won't. All I have is hope. I hope he grows and thrives, I hope everyone one day recognises how special he is, and most of all I hope he makes it. Tory Pitner, no matter who you play for and where you're playing, I will always be rooting for you!!

Q: How would you describe [your] feelings right now?

TP: It's pretty unbelievable. I mean, it's a great feeling. Colorado is a great organisation, and especially down the road from Denver [University] it's going to be really, really fun to go to a lot of games and just see the progression in the team - in my game - to hopefully one day be there.

Q: So, knowing that you were going to D.U., were you maybe kind of hopeful that it'd be the Avs?

TP: Yeah. I talked to the Avs a little bit during the year and stayed in contact with some of their scouts, so every time they picked I was kind of on the edge of my seat - but I'm happy to be here and really excited.

Q: What are the strengths in your game?

TP: I'd say that my defending is probably my biggest strength. I think that I can use my brain and really bait other players into plays that they don't want to make and then close out. Really take away time and space, and ultimately just be a prick to play against - I don't know if I can say that on this - but I think that I can defend really well.

I'd say my player comparable is John Marino; his ability to play against those top line guys and shut them down every night. I mean, you just saw him get traded so [he's] obviously a very valuable piece in the NHL, and he was a sixth round draft pick too. I'm really excited to hopefully continue that development path over at D.U. to round out all the other areas of my game to play in the NHL.

Q: So you'd say Denver is a good choice for you, for college?

TP: Yeah. I'd say, obviously, the coaching staff first of all, [David Carle] is an unbelievable coach; and then just the proven track record they have at developing NHL defensemen. Being there every day, you see all the guys that come back, and they want to be at D.U. All the guys that they've sent to the NHL, they still come back to train there - train with Matt Shaw, the strength coach, and skate on the ice. Everyone there; it's kind of a brotherhood. It's a great system for [anyone] to go through if they want to get to the NHL.

Q: Did you get a chance to speak to Jake Fisher? (Colorado draft pick #121 overall)

TP: I'm actually roommates with Fish at D.U. We moved in on Sunday and so it's kind of cool that we both got picked here.

Q: So have you talked to him since?

TP: I haven't. I gotta be honest, I put my phone down after round three and kind of tried not to go on it. But yeah, no, we'll definitely talk. I'll see Fish [on] Sunday when I land. We probably have some studying to do for our Geography class. No, it'll be good. I know he was really excited, I'm really excited, too.

Q: Have you ever been to an Avs game?

TP: I have not, no. But I heard that the D.U. guys go all the time, especially with it being right downtown, so [I'm] really looking forward to getting out there and seeing Ball Arena live. I've driven past it a few times, just heading back to campus and whatnot, but I'll be really excited to get inside and see what it's like.

Q: How did [the Youngstown Phantoms] help you develop, to get to this point? (inaudible)

TP: For sure. I mean, obviously it was great my first year, getting to experience winning the Clark Cup Championship there was super cool for me, and it was a great learning experience being able to be around great leaders like Shane Lachance and Chase Pietila - who got picked earlier today. Being able to be around those kind of guys was awesome for me. And then my second year, taking a step into a bigger role with the team, talking with [coach] Andy Contois a lot about my game, working on different areas that I need to improve, and improving on my strengths, too, [like] being hard to play against. So I think overall they helped me round out my game, and I'm looking forward to keep rounding out that game at D.U.

Q: What has your Draft Day experience been like here at the Sphere? (inaudible)

TP: Yeah, no, it was long. Woke up early, couldn't really sleep too much. Woke up, just kind of got a workout in to get moving, you know, have something to do. Then walked over here - I'm staying at a hotel that's not too far - so, walked over. Sat down after having some breakfast and then kind of just watched the draft. It's been pretty cool, though. I have my family here, my agent as well, [and] one of my coaches. It's been really nice to have everyone here supporting me.

Q: What about the way that Colorado plays defence excites you?

TP: I'd say that I love how they're pretty freeing with all their defensemen. Even down the lineup, you look at Josh Manson still getting up in the play joining as a fourth man. Sam Girard obviously loves to do that. They obviously have great defensemen like Cale Makar running their power play. [They] love being really active. I think that's something that I'm looking to add more to my game, too, and so the freedom to do that in Colorado is something I'm really looking forward to - especially at D.U. as well, having that freedom. Finding the middle in a lot of their breakouts, not a lot of off-the-glass plays or up the wall; they like to really possess the puck. I'm really looking forward to being able to hold on to the puck a little bit longer and find some middle support, which I think will ultimately help my game break down the opponent and just add another element - which will be really fun.

Q: What players did you idolise as you came up?

TP: It's kind of been a lot of different ones, but I really wanted to play defence because of Nick Lidstrom. When I was younger, one of my coaches - actually, Anže Kopitar's brother - Gašper Kopitar; he was my defense coach in LA when I played for the junior Kings when I was younger, and he told me 'If you want to be a defenseman, [go] watch Nick Lidstrom.' So I found some YouTube video - and I think I've watched it like 400 times or something like that. I've watched his NHL 36 multiple times, just to get me going or just to learn his routines. So idolising him growing up and then seeing the great person and defenseman he was; it really made me want to be [one], and I wanted to play hockey even more.

[3416]

How Auston Matthews came from the unlikeliest place and rose to hockey stardom

By Jonas Siegel | 02.21.2024 | The Athletic

PHOENIX — Zac Larraza was the first player to be drafted into the NHL from the untraditional hockey system in Arizona.

The Phoenix Coyotes, appropriately enough, selected Larraza with a seventh-round pick in the 2011 draft. Larraza never made it to the NHL, but while he was on the rise and playing for the University of Denver, he invited a promising youngster he knew from his hometown to skate with him.

That kid was Auston Matthews.

Matthews was about to turn 16 and join the same U.S. National Team Development Program Larraza had left a couple years earlier.

He was younger than everyone else skating that day. But, right away, they all knew: He was different.

It was the way he skated. How he caught passes. It was his hands and how he carried himself: Confident, but cool about it.

“There’s some people that are just — they found what they were born to do,” Larraza said. “Shohei Ohtani: He was born to be a baseball player. Steve Jobs was born to invent. Thirty-four was born to play hockey.”

But before No. 34, no one from Arizona had ever become an NHL superstar, let alone one of the greatest goal-scorers in the history of the league. No one had ever made it big like that. Not even close.

Auston Matthews is a unicorn in more ways than one. He’s forged a path for the next wave of young players from the desert to follow.

Thirty-four jerseys are ubiquitous here for a reason. Matthews has made it possible to dream and dream big. The next generation has a reason to believe and someone to believe in.

Call it The Auston Matthews Effect.

It’s also a reason to believe hockey in Arizona will persist with or without the long-troubled Coyotes.

As Shane Doan, formerly the face for hockey in Arizona, put it: “Auston is the flag that everyone in Arizona holds their hat on and says, ‘Someone not only made it and played here and grew up and always comes back here, but also excelled.’”

“That gave everyone hope.”

–––

‘The number 34, you see it all over the place’

You can still feel Doan’s presence here. There’s a Shane Doan rink inside the Ice Den in Scottsdale, where the Coyotes practice.

Doan grew up in Alberta, however. Daniel Briere, another one-time Coyotes star, was also Canadian. Keith Tkachuk and Jeremy Roenick, two more franchise icons, both hailed from Massachusetts.

Matthews could dream of playing hockey in the NHL, could dream of being Doan, but still had no yellow brick road to follow. Matthews had to forge his own path, one that the next generation is now following.

Josh Doan, Shane’s 22-year-old son and a promising prospect in the Coyotes’ farm system, can recite Matthews’ story by heart.

“He came up through the ranks of minor hockey in Arizona and he had done it all and he stuck around till his U16 year,” Josh Doan said. “And then he made the national development program and turned pro at 18 years old to play in Switzerland and then went right into the NHL and had an amazing first year.”

Doan was 14 when Matthews potted 40 goals as a rookie for the Maple Leafs.

“It was really just a sign of hope for a lot of the kids in the area that it was possible,” he said, “not only just to make it but to be a superstar.”

Where once little hockey players here wore Shane Doan’s No. 19, now it’s all No. 34. At least one on every team — and usually the best player.

“He’s an icon,” Marc Fritsche, the director of tier hockey with the Coyotes Amateur Hockey Association said. “Kids know him. They know Auston Matthews. The number 34, you see it all over the place.”

Hundreds of Matthews’ Toronto Maple Leafs jerseys … in the desert.

“There was a guy who I went to school with who played hockey growing up here,” said Coyotes forward Alex Kerfoot, “and he was talking a little bit about how he played hockey with Auston Matthews. I think everyone here just knows Auston … and that’s cool.”

“Everybody back home asks me if I know (Matthews),” said Mark Kastelic, a 24-year-old Ottawa Senators forward from Arizona. “It’s cool to just be in the same world as him.”

On the October night in 2016 when Matthews made history in his NHL debut, Shane Doan was coaching Josh’s 14-year-old squad (which included future Maple Leaf Matthew Knies). Word filtered down to the ice that Matthews had registered a hat trick in less than 22 minutes.

The team rushed down to the lobby to watch him become the first player in league history to score four in his first game.

What could be more inspiring for young Arizona hockey players than that?

Larraza likes to point to his younger pal as a shining light, an example for the kids he coaches to emulate.

If Matthews did it, why can’t they?

“It hits home way more now that there’s a kid that was born and raised here, that they have somebody to look up to,” Larraza said. “I use Auston as an example all the time when I talk to the kids about work ethic. ‘I know 34 is working harder than anybody in my life. What gives you the reason not to work as hard as that?’”

Arizona hockey has grown “exponentially” since Matthews came on the scene, in Fritsche’s estimation.

USA Hockey lists 9,716 total players in Arizona in its 2022-23 report. That’s up from 7,781 players in 2017, a 25 percent increase. More importantly, at the eight-and-under level, there were 795 registered players in 2023 — a 45 percent increase from the 2017 report.

One thing that’s helped is all the ex-pros who have stuck around. “Even guys who didn’t play for the Coyotes have homes here and live here and come here in the offseasons,” said Mike DeAngelis, a Kamloops, B.C., native who arrived in 1999 to play minor pro and now works as the director of hockey operations with the Coyotes Amateur Hockey Association.

What do those former NHLers do? They coach. Steve Sullivan took his Arizona team to the final of a recent tournament in Calgary. His assistant coach was Derek Morris, who ended his long NHL career with the Coyotes.

Then there’s Dallas Drake. Keith Carney. Ray Whitney. Former NHLers are everywhere.

“Not only are they involved, they’re coaching, they’re involved in the programs,” Fritsche said. “And having that wealth of knowledge to bring down to those players and those kids and those families, it’s just so valuable.”

The lack of rinks is a problem. The Coyotes’ uncertain future has also again bubbled to the surface. All anybody can talk about around town, besides Matthews, is the future of the Coyotes, who are now playing on the campus of Arizona State University.

The Coyotes may end up leaving, but the path Matthews laid will remain. Kids will continue to play hockey here and dare to dream because of him.

Kerfoot has been a Coyote for only a little while now and lived at Matthews’ house in Paradise Valley when he first arrived last summer. He’s seen it, too.

“It doesn’t seem foreign to walk on the street and see kids playing with a hockey stick or see kids who are involved in hockey. It doesn’t feel too much different being out in Arizona,” he said. “Auston’s had a huge impact on that. You hear kids at our games even talking about Auston.”

“People see him, and it’s not just this fairytale myth,” Larraza said. “He’s here. He’s a human that’s from Phoenix, Arizona, that’s made it to where he has.”

–––

‘Elite of the elite’

Larraza had played alongside future NHLers like J.T. Miller and Seth Jones coming up the ranks of U.S. hockey, but teenage Auston Matthews was unlike anyone he had ever seen before. The “elite of the elite” were different like that.

You know it when you see it.

“You just go, ‘OK, we’re all pretty good players, but this is different, what’s going on right here,’” Larraza said.

Every year, by late summer, Coyotes players trickled back into town ahead of training camp. They invited Larraza and his pals to come out and join them. That included Auston, who had become close with Larraza, and Doan, who took notice immediately, asking who Auston was and where he was from.

While the Coyotes had, and continue to have existential problems, if they hadn’t come to town in 1996, it’s possible there would be no Auston Matthews, NHL superstar.

It might have been Auston Matthews, MLB superstar. Auston’s father, Brian, had encouraged Auston’s early adoration for hockey, but he and Auston’s grandfather also hoped he would pursue baseball. Auston liked the action of hockey, though. And he liked scoring goals, especially.

There were no ponds for young Auston Matthews to play shinny on in the desert, though, and very few rinks.

One of the few that does exist, Arcadia Ice Arena, sits in the shadow of a giant Walmart in Phoenix’s sprawl. This is hockey in Arizona. If not for the giant white hockey stick poking out of an otherwise bland building, you wouldn’t know this was an arena, let alone the place where Matthews grew up learning to play the game.

Arcadia isn’t much. One sheet of ice in an otherwise shabby structure but better than nothing in a community where ice is hard to come by. It’s one of the things locals in the hockey community bemoan. There just aren’t many places to lace up the skates and play.

For Matthews, it was Arcadia and the Ice Den, where he returns to skate alongside Coyotes like Clayton Keller every summer.

The locals love that about Matthews. Not only is he one of their own, but he comes back. They see him in the flesh and are reminded of the remarkable path he forged.

And Matthews and his family didn’t do what other hockey parents in the desert might have. He didn’t move to a traditional hockey market to play against tougher competition or increase his visibility.

Matthews’ father, Brian, grew up in Scottsdale. He would ensure his son had every opportunity to fulfill his dream in Arizona.

That meant rigorous training with Boris Dorozhenko, a skating coach who moved to Arizona from Ukraine and even lived in the Matthews’ home. It meant playing for NHL alumnus Claude Lemieux’s team, the Phoenix Roadrunners, among others. It meant spending hours on a now-shuttered three-on-three rink where the quarters were tight and slick puckhandling was mandatory.

“Auston was allowed to skate there as much as he wanted,” DeAngelis said. “And he’d just wheel around and play three-on-three or skate by himself.”

Matthews had incredible skill even then when he was just a kid.

That chuckling you hear in the background? That’s Shane Doan.

Matthews always had a mind for the game, too. His decision-making was strong for his age. His hands were exceptional.

And he was determined.

Dorozhenko remembers Auston struggling with one drill in particular. For 40 minutes, he just couldn’t get it right. He was crying. But Matthews wouldn’t give up and go home until he got it right. With tears in his eyes, he insisted they keep going.

“He never stops on something,” Dorozhenko said. “He wants to be better.”

Dorozhenko proudly describes Auston as a “pioneer” for hockey in Arizona, but no one knew back then that he would become this. How could they? One of the greatest scorers the NHL has ever seen — from Arizona? Get real.

But they knew something was different, especially as he crept closer to the NHL.

“He was a flat-out stud, that’s for sure,” said Keller, the Coyotes star who first met Matthews in 2015 while teammates with the USNTDP under-18 squad.

Keller and Matthews sat next to each other in history class as teenagers in Ann Arbor, Mich. Their nightly ritual: EA Sports’ NHL video games.

“There were like five of us that would play every single night, probably a little too late,” Keller said.

Matthews was Arizona chill — “super laid back” in Keller’s estimation — but maniacal about hockey, even as a teenager.

“You can tell that there’s a purpose to every rep, every shot,” said Keller, who skates with Matthews in the summer. “He’s never going through the motions.”

Larraza sees it firsthand when Matthews makes his annual return home to Arizona in the offseason.

“Like 80 percent of his day is focused on working and getting better, whether it’s on the ice, off the ice, taking care of his body, eating right — having a chef come cook him meals at his house, taking care of himself so that he is in the best possible position to succeed when the season starts,” Larraza said.

For other players, playing hockey is a job that they punch in and out of, Larraza said. “They work hard at it, they want to take care of themselves, but they’re also having fun and they’re golfing and they’re going on all these trips. (Matthews) knows he’s got a short career. I mean, 20 years is a short time in your life. He’s got 20 years to really prove who he is, make the money that he deserves to make, and carry his legacy.”

How much of Matthews is a byproduct of where he came from? Does he have what Kerfoot describes as “internal confidence” because he never had reason to think otherwise, because he towered over everyone in Arizona from the beginning? Is he laid back and chill because he was raised in the desert where the pace is slow and the sun shines almost constantly?

Kerfoot believes it’s just more about who Matthews is than his environment.

He was born for this but shaped nonetheless by where he came from.

“If you grow up in Toronto, or you grow up in a hockey family, you kind of are in the world,” said Kerfoot, a West Vancouver native. “Your parents know the other hockey parents. You’ve kinda got a path that’s all laid out for you. It’s just every day — there is like a hockey world. And he’s kinda carving his own path coming from a non-traditional hockey market.

“Because of that, I think he does things his own way.”

Now his way has become the way for others in Arizona to follow.

[bunnymcfoo]

So @pacific-coast-hockey and I attended the live auction for the Cuda's ugly sweaters last night and man, it was extremely entertaining and well worth the price of admission (free). He got photos, and I think he's going to add them here, but I kept track of which jerseys went for what, and a few random notes. So here's my half!

IN ORDER:

Radim Šimek - $1400 - I've very rarely seen Simmer look that pleased by anything, and it was a genuine treat to see him smiling over the very active bidding war for his jersey

Tanner Kaspick - $750

Cole Cassels - $900

Leon Gawanke - $925 - his jersey went to someone holding up a Go Gawanke sign, which was very cute

Scott Sabourin - $1550 - I think there was some recency bias at play with the bidding here, given his fight and jazz hands on Friday night. He was not smiling the way the other guys were & Kasper and I were joking that he wanted to go HOME

Nathan Todd - $950 - that man has a very shiny bald head

Shakir Mukhamadullin - $1200 - he looked very adorably pleased by the bidding war and this total

Ozzy Wiesblatt - $1075

Magnus Chrona - $1050 - His jersey went to someone wearing his University of Denver hoodie and he looked extremely happy about it

Ethan Cardwell - $1000 - Guys, I cannot tell you how adorable Cardsy and every single thing he does are. Holding up his jersey to be auctioned was no exception

Brandon Coe - $850

Nikolai Knyzhov - $1050 - I have no notes here but please know I love Knyzy and would die for him

Daniil Gushchin - $950 - I'm genuinely surprised this didn't go higher? Also, as I type this he's not listed on the roster on the Cuda's website, but that doesn't mean anything. I hope. 😬

Bradley Marek - $850

Bradley Kemp - $900 - he looked quietly pleased at this and I'm more than a little shocked that his jersey went for more than Coe's

Valtteri Pulli - $850

Eetu Mäkiniemi - $900 - how on Earth did his jersey not go for more? It's an enteral mystery

Bordy - $1900 - he did this very cute thing where he gestured to go on, go on when it looked like this bidding was stalling at around, like, $1200. It went to the female half of the eternally drunk Michigan fan duo, who was absolutely not going to be outbid by anyone, not even God himself

Kyle Rau - $750 - I felt bad for him following Bordy, but honestly, $750 isn't bad considering that he uhhhhh signed with the Cuda, like, two days ago or whatever

Artem Guryev Arty Party - $950

With the (I think) $650 that Frenzy's jersey went for, the Cuda raised an awesome $21,400 for Working Partnerships USA, along with whatever they got for chuck-a-puck and 3.147 stuffed animals (our group contributed, like, 12 of those, go team us!)

All in all, an excellent weekend for the Cuda :)

[equallyshaw]

something borrowed - nathan mackinnon (feat. erik johnson and ryan graves)

- based off the movie of the same name + my own plot changes

- Warnings: swearing. angst. ej is annoying in this, i apologize. just a character. also lili is a bimbo blonde in this, kinda like in the movie. no hate against any blondes, just mirroring the movie. there is a not so friendly joke, so please be advised. itll be in bold so you can skip over. ALSO, this movie is so chaotic and all over the place...this is all over the place and chaotic lol

- shoutout to @pucksalotguys for supporting this and giving me feedback :)

Word Count: 5.7k+ this is a long one, so much to upack.

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tessa burns grew up around some of the greats in nova scotia, canada. aka, sid the kid, brad marchand, andrew cogliano and ryan graves to name a few. her older brothers played hockey ofcourse and so she was always around the rink at all hours. always had a chirp or two to throw out as she left the arena with them. despite growing up in nova scotia, she never met nathan mackinnon until they both went to shattuck st marys for highschool and hockey. they instantly connected, over hockey, nova scotia, bad breakups and the undying need to be the best. though, he was more hard core than she ever was; in her defense.

tessa was never alone growing up, despite have four brothers before her. she had her best friend ryan graves, grew up right down the block. always had a bad joke, always had a smart and witty comment to make. one that would rock you to your core. she also had her best friend liliana who was a blonde goddess. a 5'8 blonde, taller goddess. one that all the guys went after. one that swore she gave up toronto university just so they could both go to univeristy of british columbia. one that guilt tripped her left and right, but she was liliana. ofcourse, she couldn't 'drop' her. that was her girl, and there was no way she could do that to her closest confidant besides ryan. ryan saw how shitty liliana treated her, how liliana made sure she was the center of the attention. always. ryan always knew about tessa having the huge crush and ever lasting love for nathan, though he was lilianas. she had been for the past three years. so ryan watched as tessa looked on from the bench, what else could she do? so she wallowed in her own guilt, pity and anger of not saying anything before to nate. though it was too late, they were to bed wed in the middle of august before they would flee to california for a week then back to denver.

°• ♔ •°

tessa walked into the restaurant and her eyes went wide, taking in the 'surprise' 28th birthday part; liliana had thrown for her. it was june 24th right after the seaosn had ended, but on without a cup. not this year. tessa smiled fakely as lili cheered and wrapped her arms around her best friend, sister even. "honeybug happy birthday!" she screamed, using an old childhood nickname that should have never see the light of day; even when she was 6. "thanks lili." she responded cooly, hugging her friend back. some of her closest friends were here, well lili's too. wherever tessa went, lili did too and vice versa. she smiled at her brothers who came up, wrapping her in a family hug. "hi guys.." she smiled, one that didn't reach her eyes. "hey tess, mom and dad say sorry for not being here." the oldest, billy explained and she nodded. british columbia was more importnant it seemed.

"AYYYYY KIDDO!!" she heard the ever popular and familiar voice of brad marchand. she turned and grinned at the brother like man and hugged him. then she hugged his wife charlotte, "thankyou guys for coming!" she beamed, holding onto her left arm. "ofcourse! we wouldn't miss it for the world hun." his wife smiled and tessa nodded. "hey bobby orr!" she heard the captains voice from behind her, and tessa turned. she smiled widely for sidney, and hugged him. "hi sid." she mused, pulling away. "got you your fav." he mused, and handed her a cherry vodka. she smiled, thanking him. "where the hell is nate?" she heard him mutter under his breathe. she felt her heart rate pick up, covering it up with a small smile. "do you know where ryan is?" she questioned and speak of the devil, he walked up behind sid. he clasped a hand on sid's shoulder and they did a bro hug before sid sauntered off to find his best friend.

"nice surprise face." he smirked leaning in and she rolled her eyes. "dont tell her please!" she begged her best friend, brother even. he nodded smiling, "ofcourse not. that would ruin her, i think." he trailed off as they caught her making a scene. she saw nate behind her, smiling up at her as she said a joke and laughed loudly. oh, the ever enigma stealing the spotlight once again. "i don't think she's capable of NOT having the attention on her..even if it's your birthday. by the way, happy birthday sis." he smirked and she gave him a wink. "oh thankyou, thought you wouldn't say it for a sec." she grinned and he stuck out his tongue. "uh huh." he sighed, sipping his whiskey and looking back at lili. she rubbed her temple, before looking around. "love how its mainly her frineds." she muttered, feeling angry at herself. again, another birthday and she had no new friends. and everyyear, lili had more and more.

"hey, stop. dont feel bad for yourself. she's a lot to deal with." he mused, almost as if it was an insult. but tessa, knew exactly what he meant. "honeybug!" she heard the very immature nickname and rolled her eyes which ryan caught; as she turned around with a fake smile. "what?" she asked, with a fake giggle as lili rushed up to her with a tall guy. "i want you to meet somebody!" she grinned, pulling her towards the guy. "ej this is tessa. tessa this is erik johnson or ej as we call him." she smiled, as if she was cupid herself. "birthday gal!" he said loudly, causing lili to laugh loudly once again as he pulled tessa in for a bear hug. "ah hi." she said, unsure of what to do. she stood there, frozen. felt like she had been violted in a way, but it wasn't that deep she reminded herself. "you guys are so cute together!" was all lili said before waltzing off to give nate a kiss.

tessa sighed, looking around, trying to not ficate on ej himself. the very tall, and muscular man in front her of. with 3 front teeth missing, like a little kid. "how'd you lose your teeth?" she asked randomly and he laughed a hearty laugh. he explained in a unnceccesary 10 minute story before they were interrupted by nathan. she gave him a thankful smile that he could decode, and nodded. "i think cale is in the back over there." nate said through gritted teeth. ej nodded, giving the birthday gal a kiss on her cheek to which she instantly wiped off. ej left, and left a chuckling nate in his path. "you have a great poker face burnsy." he mused, sipping his beer. she looked at him, acting as if she didn't. he met her eye, before she could spit out words. he gave her a charming smile and laughed. "i would never tell lili." he joked, and tessa sighed looking down at her almost empty drink. "tess-" nate said but she cut him off. "its all good. im gonna go find ryan." she said without looking at him as she walked past him, and away.

minutes later, lili yelled over on the microphone to get her cute butt up there. "honeybug, baby, get your cute butt up here!" she joked, causing everybody to laugh. nate searched for her, and she appeared after ryan pushed her to the front. "dont keep cruelle waiting." he muttered for only her to hear. she sighed as lili smiled at her, dotingly. "honeybug. happy birthday. so thankful for you every day." she smiled, an erupture of 'aws' filled the room. tessa blushed, "tessa gosh, where do i begin?" she said, almost acting. she looked up at the ceiling, pretending to wipe away any tears. "phew, my botox is really holding up.." she trailed off joking causing some uncomfortable and comfortable laughter to erupt. ryan from next to her, hit her shoulder and she laughed.

"tessa, tess, burnsy honeybug, my platonic soulmate..gosh we've been through it all! from kindergarton when i pushed ryan down the slide for cutting us off on the playground.." she began as the photos began on the slideshow, showing the two and then the trio of chaos. "god, we were the trio of chaos. tessa, ryan and i. i don't know how ryan put up with us, to be honest. or how he still does." she joked. "she was with me through my first breakup in 6th grade..i was a mess! let me tell you. we watched the holiday and the he's just not that into you SO many times with lots of popcorn, oreos and icecream." she explained, showing some photos of their teenage years. "heres us at prom. ryan said 'fuck it' im taking you to prom honeybug. awe SO cute!" she said doing a little hop. "then miss burnsy went off to shattuck, fucking shattuck oh my god. if i have to hear about one more hockey player that to shattucks im gonna pull my hair out. o.m.g." she said laughing along with everybody else. "then fucking gravy went off to shattucks and so i was left alone." she began, something she never got over. something she held over them, and still guilt tripped them about. "i was not a hockey player, thankgod! i was all about makeup and clothes and cheerleading. and they weren't there to witness me win state but i witnessed them play for team canada. what assholes." lili had the audience in the palm of her hands. they were eating this up. though ryan, sid, her brothers and nate all cringed throughout.

"but anywho, after i notably declined ivy league university of toronto to go to university of BC with my honeybug..ryan went to some place called denver." she added the last part with everybody hollering now. though it wasn't a joke really, she was purely an idiot. “then we graduated, and then it was really real that we were gonna be seperated for real this time. miss barnsy got into john marshall law school in chicago, and i was incredibly sad when i started working in toronto. but only 512 miles away from one another." she paused, waving a small wave. "and after a year into living into chicago, you introduced me to the absolute love of my life." she pasued, blowing a kiss to nate. he smiled shyly, and looked down embarrassed a tad bit. "thanks for hiding him for so long hun." she dazzled the crowd. "and now were getting married, thanks to you!" she smiled widely. "bubba as much as i love you, tessa girl has been my one constant my whole life."

she turned towards tessa now, ""you're the the sister i've never had, you're sometimes the mother i often need, the reason why i can stumble so fearlessly into adventure is because she's always there. she's always there. i love you tessa. my forever honeybug." she beamed, and the crowd clapped. "bubba!" she said, out of the microphone and made her way towards nate. she wrapped his arms around the girl and kissed her head. tessa watched from afar, and ryan nudged her to look away. "lets get you another drink..after that." sid mused, pulling her towards the bar.

later on in the evening, it was now ryan, nate, lili and tessa left. ryan was holding lili as they all waited outside the restaurant now on the almost desolate street. "oh fuck- i forgot my bag!" lili said slurrely. nate and tessas head perked up and both went to say something, "take her to the hotel. we will be there soon." nate said before tessa could say for him to go back with her. the duo nodded and the other two made there way back inside. "was it the vintage chanel?" nate questioned and tessa laughed, a true and real hearty laugh. "nathan...aren't you the one who got it for her?" she said cocking an eyebrow as she held it up. nate sighed a relief, snatchingit from her. they looked at one another, and nate saw something twinkle. "lets get one more drink." he mused, pulling her down the street to the bar next door.

one drink turned into four more, and somehow someway; though they knew how it happened. they ended up in her small apartment there in toronto. for the first time in their entire relationships, they had acted on that part of their feelings. though, they thought it was more the alcohol than anything.

°• ♔ •°

ryan, sid, ej, their other friend maria, liliana and tessa found themselves in st john on the coast of newfoundland. the five of them walked into the lake house, that they were staying at for the next week. nate and lili walked hand in hand, lili doting on him that made ryan want to vomit. "bubba...please?" she asked with puppy eyes, begging him to take her shopping on the mainland. he sighed, instantly giving into her. lili clapped her hands together, and ej high fived her for some odd reason. "you go girl!" he hummed, sitting down in the living room sofa and propping his feet on the table. tessa stopped unable to move anymore, because of ej's hockey bag and suitcase that was in the way. she gave him a scowl, nobody noticing but ryan ofcourse. "ej..bags please." ryan spoke up and ej hopped up, muttering an apology. "its ok." she smiled, and simply stated. tessa made her way up the stairs, as ryan went towards the first floor room. she got to the second floor, and nate instantly grabbed her bags. "oh thanks." she hummed, following him to the bedroom next to theirs. "thanks." she smiled, and he nodded. very unsure of what to do. things were kinda awkward after they slept together, but she made him forget about it. made him, and he promised her. "yeah. no prob." he responded, as she sat down on the bed. his eyes flicked to her's from the doorway before lili came up and smiled.

"shopping?" she grinned, and then motioned towards nate with her eyes. tessa shook her head no, "im gonna take a nap." she said cooly and the two nodded. lili pulled nate away before he could say bye. tessa sighed, laying down on her back. "hey barnsy, wanna come swimming?" she heard the voice of ej and she perched herself onto her elbows. he took in her stance, and angle she saw him check her out. she shivered and sat up all the way. "im okay. thanks though." she responded and he nodded, giving her a toothy smile before he ran off. she shut her door, silently cursing herself. this was going to be a long trip.

°• ♔ •°

the following day, the group decided they were going to play volleyball. just unsure when. before they made there way to the beach, ryan pulled tessa into her bedroom. "spill." he demanded crossing his arms as she sat on the bed. she shrugged, "tell you what?" she asked. he gave her a blank stare, "i know what youre hiding honeybug." he stated and she gritted her teeth. "nothing im hiding nothing." she spat, standing up and walked over towards the double window french doors to the balcony. she instantly found nate's broad shoulders, strong back and dirty blonde hair of his. she stared at him, as lili spoke to him from the pool with ej. ej and her were splashing one another now, and she could tell that nate wanted to be anywhere but there. "that. you are hiding that, tessa." ryan said from behind her, freaking her out. she must of timed out, watching him. she shook her head, looking out towards the beach now. "no its true. i could tell at breakfast. im not an idiot." he said, checking his hip with hers. "well i could say the same about you and maria..." she mused coyly, before giggling as she walked out of the room. "oh god no, if i ever have to be at the same table especially at their wedding, im killing them before they leave for cali." ryan mused making tessa laugh even more. "you two totally slept together!" he whispered yelled and she whipped around to face him. "oh thats gold." he said chuckling. she shook her head as he nodded hers.

"im not an idiot, i know you did. now it makes sense." he said as a wave of realization washed over him. as he placed his hands behind his head, laying down on her bed he asked, "you totally did..more than once?" he asked like a child, he couldn't contain his excitement. she combed back her hair, trying to calm herself down. "oh my god, twice?" he asked, getting excited more. she looked at him through the bedroom mirror and he started to laugh. "oh my god." he said abruptly stopping, "lili, oh my god, she's gonna flip." he said seriously before laughing. "its not funny!" she said pulling a pillow towards her from the bed and hitting him. "this is rich barnsy!!!! you have to say something to nate, i see it eating you two up." he exclaimed and she shook her head, a wave of guilt and sadness washed over her pale face. "no, its already been decided that we aren't to speak of it ever again." she stated before walking out.

breakfast.

tessa sat down next to nate by accident, as she sat their reading the newspaper. he met her eyes, over the newspaper, when she looked at him. she whisked her eyesight away and focused on transporting the fruit to her plate. "listen..tess. we need to talk-" she cut him off with a glare. "no, we do not. we already have. we can't hurt lili more than we already have." she hurriedly said. he swallowed back what he was going to say, and nodded. "never. again." she said through gritted teeth before meeting his eyes. god, those blue eyes that transported her back to shattucks. god, how she loved them.. ej bolted outside with coffee, and threw down a iced coffee for the brunette. a black coffee for nate. "oh yay coffee's here!" lili said walking out with pancakes. ej sat across next to lili who sat across from tessa. tessa swallowed, as she could feel the intense stare ej was giving her. nate coughed, breaking ej's concentration and ej looked away. maria sat down next to ej and he smiled at her. "morning." he smirked and maria gave him a polite smile, before noticebly scooting her chair a few inches away. ryan finally walked out and sat down next to tessa. "gravy finally arrives, nice. we can begin." lili said in her fake polite voice, clearly annoyed with ryan. per usual. "sorry princess, forgot the world and time revolved around you. what a keeper nate." raya huffed, and lili squinted at him while nate rubbed his eyes.

“okay gravy, atleast i have some sort of schedule going. arent you a hockey player? it looks like you haven't done anything to combat your croissants and poutine eating." she spat, (trigger warning) softly grabbing her stomach. he flipped her off, causing ej to laugh loudly. nate looked at him with a intense stare, one tessa hadn't seen for a few years. it was almost, like his old self had flared for a hot second. before it cooled. "atleast i dont spend somebody else's hard earned money." ryan muttered, and lili picked that up. "well, atleast he has somebody to spend it on. dont ya honey?" she smiled a dazziling smile, placing a arm over nate's shoulder and kissing him. ryan pointed a finger in his mouth and faked gagged causing tessa to stifle a laugh. "besides, i always tell nate to help out tessa but she always says no." lili added, sipping her coffee. tessa set down her fork, "how many times do i have to tell you that i dont want or need his money." she explained once again. "i am comfortable, i dont need a lot. besides-" lili cut her off, "youre due for a promotion anyways!" she clasped her hands together and tessa shook her head.

"no, not what i was gonna say but thats true. i like the life i live, and i love the work i do lili. i dont need anybody's money, especially not his." she defended and they all sat up with the 'not his' part. ryan took in the quick look nate and tessa shared, one without words but words. "what i mean is that, he's my friend, that just feels weird." she added and they nodded. "besides, more for me!" lili hummed, kissing nate again. tessa picked up her fork and took a strong bite of her strawberry.

After.

the group were outside on the beach, hitting the volleyball to warm up. it was ej and tessa, lili and nate. while ryan and maria sat out. "ouuu! we should play a game!" lili beamed with mimosa in her hand. "yes!" ej said loudly, pointing at her. "how about everytime we get a point, one of us on the winning point tells a secret!" lili said with a grin, causing ej to grin wickledly and laugh. "no i dont-" "lets not -" nate and tessa said at the same time. "oh come on! itll be fun!" lili said pouting. "yeah, itll be fun!" ryan added, and tessa glared at him. "ej im in, youre out." ryan said and ej nodded, as they switched positions. "ryan!" she whispered yelled at him, and he smirked. "it has to come out eventually babe." he smiled and placed a quick kiss on her head. nate looked over, and saw what was going on. he knew ryan knew, even without ryan confirming.

“ry!" she said before lili hit the ball to him, him to nate and back to ryan. that happend over and over. ryan won the never ending sequence and chuckled, "oh dont i have a secret!!" he huffed, "tell it tell it!" ej said like a 5 year old. "dont i have a secret." he laughed, and tessa begged him with a pleading look. "no its fine, we don't need to play." nate said trying to get him to not say anyhting. "no this has to be said." ryan exclaimed and lili looked on with excitment, "yes please tell!" she beamed sipping more of her mimosa. "tessa- tessa and-" but he was cut off, as she made he way towards ej - as a distraction - and kissed him. she kissd him hard, pulling him in by his thin shirt. nate and ryan looked on with confusion while lili shrieked with excitemnt. "AHHHH! im cupid!!" she cheered as tessa pulled apart, and walked off. ryan and nate looked at tessa as she stomped away.

tessa continued walking down the beach for 20 minutes more, trying desperately to stop crying. nothing was working. she sniffled, as she sat down and wrapped her arms around her knees. what the fuck did she just do, she thought. ryan made his way over, after the rest of the group went back to the house. "youre an ass." she said boldly, standing up and walking past him. without allowing him to get a word in. "tes-" she cut him off. "how dare you jeoporadize my whole relationship with them? huh?! how you made me kiss ej!" she screamed at him. "i made you kiss him? that was all your doing hun. not mine. youre too scared to admit your true feelings for nate, im not an idiot. you love him. everything makes fucking sense. ever since i first met him when i visited you in minnesota, i saw the way you looked at him and how he looked at you. you fucking fool. you let her snatch him away. you let her win." he screamed.

"she wins everything! she has won everything that has come her way! she gets the guy she gets the house, the unending bank account, her fucking parents are god sends, she got into utoronto with a lower gpa then me!!!! liliana wins everything, that is just how it goes. she wins everything." she whispered the last part, as she fell apart. ryan walked up to her, but she pushed him away. "no." she sniffled as she paused, "dont. just dont. youve done enough." she sighed and walked back up to the house. already packed and ready to go.

°• ♔ •°

the following evening the group was down at a local pub, taking in the drinks and food. tessa sipped her cocktail as maria came up. "ryan will never like me, right?" she stated and tessa did a double take at her. maria already knew, "im sorry maria. he doesn't like you that way and probably wont ever." she said softly. maria nodded, " its fine." maria responded before walking off. that was how it will be with nate, tessa thought. she looked in the distance and saw nate and lili bickering about something, before she walked off to dance with ej. nate rolled his eyes and turned around to the bar and met tessa's stare. she swallowed, grabbing her bag and walking out. she walked outside to the rain, and she felt her arm being grabbed. "tessa dont go!" nate pleaded. she shook her head, as she was being drenched.

“then leave her. leave her, and be-" he cut her off. "be with you? i cant, tess. i just cant." he stated and she nodded. "becasue it wouldnt look good, huh? im not exactly a trophy wife and im fine with that. but....but atleast ill be happy. at some point." she mused, and turned around. "im sorry tess. i really am." he stated and she stopped middway. she turned around and hurried towards him. "i should of gone back for you." she began, "i should if let you walk me home that night in denver. i should have let you done a lot of things but i was scared. i was nervous. i was scared into thinking that you could possibly like me." she exclaimed. "i should have never told you to stay with her, then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now." she stated, finishing her tangent. he shook his head, "you were always enough tess. always, there wasn't a moment where i thought otherwise." he began and she felt a beacon of hope flicker through her. "but im with her now." he stated and she felt her heart break even more. she sighed, he took in all her tears. she shook her head, "youre a coward, nathan. a coward." she stated promptly. "but ill be happy, ill be incredibly happy without you." she stated, before walking off. nate watched as she did, the rain coming down even harder which coincided with her mood. nate really watched as the love of his life walked away for him, for good.

°• ♔ •°

there was a knock at her apartment door around 2pm. she closed her book and walked towards it, opening it to nathan. she tried to close it, but he quickly stopped it. "what nate?" she demanded, placing a hand on her hip. she shook her head when he said nothing, "we broke up. i - i thought about what you said and it's true. i won't be happy with her, how i'd be happy with you." he began and she shook her head sniffiling. "no." she said very warily, her voice cracking. she saw the pleading on her face, and opened her door further to let him in. "i should have never let you walk home that night you introduced us tess. i know that, ive known that but i was too scared to break it off and see what people that follow me would say. you were right, i am a coward. ok? and im sorry that it took me over 10 years to figure it out. im sorry tess, there isn't anybody i'd ever want to be with but you. and then we, and then we slept together and i knew i was doomed. i knew her's and i's relationship was doomed." he finished and she looked at the ground. she wiped her tears, looking back up at him. "i want you, always and forever." he stated, with much emotion. "i - im sorry." she started, "i just dont know. she's my bestfriend." she exclaimed. "i see the way she treats you t." he stated, using a barely used nickname from him. one that dated back to a drunken state moment in highschool.

“i want to, trust me." she sighed and was about to say something else but somebody knocked at her door. "tessa honeybug!!!" they both heard from her door, and she pushed him to go hide. "go go!" she whispered and he disapeared. she opened the door and lili instantly walked in. "i broke up with him!" she stated, and tessa acted surprise. "really?" she questioned and lili nodded sitting down. "i uh, i knew he wasn't the one. after.." she trailed off, unsure how to tell her best friend that she'd been sneaking off with somebody.

"what changed?" tessa asked, nervously. "i met somebody!" she squeled, not bothering to contain her excitement. "i mean, more then met." she added, "well i knew this person, for awhile." she stated. "who?" tessa whispered. "ej." she mouthed. "ej!" she said excitedly. the fuck? "the toothless big foot?" tessa quipped. lili rolled her eyes, "yes him. and i know!" she said. "thats nathan's teammate! lil!" tessa said getting defensive of him. "i know i know but nothing happened until we went to st johns. thats it. nothing before." lili defended. tessa began to pace, "and im in love with him, and i want to be with him." lili stated standing up and beginning to walk out. "i know it'll take you a bit to come around, but please don't tell nate yet. we want to do it together."she said before pausing at the door. tessa's mouth was still open in shock, "oh and dont feel guilty about the kiss. it was humerous." she smirked before walking out. as soon as she did, tessa went to look for nate. somebody knocked on the door again and she opened it to lili. "is that nate's jacket?" she asked, smirking. "wait what? oh- he left it in my car when we got back into toronto." she lied but lili didn't buy it. "no, no. thats not true." she stated, before pushing the door open. "nate! i know youre in here, nate!" she yelled, as tessa shut the door. nate walked out into the living room.

"you asshole!" "my teammate?!" they yelled at one another, "my best friend!!!!" lili threw back at him. "my. teammate." he slithered back. "how could you?" lili, turned towards tessa. "no- no dont go after tess. go after me. she didn't initiate it." lili held her hand up, "stop, dont speak for her." lili spat. lili shook her head at nate, "you know, i hope youre both happy together. i really do." was all lili said before walking out.

"nate-" tessa said but nate shook his head, grabbed his coat and walked out.

°• ♔ •°

tessa mouthed "im sorry" to ryan and he flipped over his card that had her name on it, "me too." and she hugged him. tessa had just flown from toronto to newark to visit ryan. she hadn't seen or talked to him since june and it was now middle of october, hockey season. they drove back to his condo, and the two put her stuff in the guest room. a little while later she walked out into the kitchen and sat down at the counter, as he cooked dinner. "whats for dinner?" she questioned in french. he smiled a toothy smile, "fettuince alfredo." he mused back in french. tessa nodded, grabbing the water bottle he set down on the counter. "what are you doing here?" he asked leaning against it, trying to read her expression. she sighed, "well you know about lili and ej. well nathan was there and lili heard and then he heard her and then when i tried to talk to him, he walked out." she said placing her face in her hands. he saw the stress, anxiety and never faultering love with nate. "have you talked since then?" he asked and she shook her head, "nor lili?" and she shook her head. "im alone." she said before sobbing. he instantly came over and pulled her in for a hug. "shh." he whispered over and over again, trying to comfort her. "youve got me." he said kissing her head. she sniffled, and pulled away. "youve always had me, no matter what." he explained some more, trying to get her to understand.

she looked at him, "always will. and-" he paused laughing nervously. "this is shitty timing but i dont care. ive always been there watching you from the bench, watching lili have something that you didn't. and that hurt me, because i was there the whole time but-" she cut him off, "i never noticed because i wanted him." she finished and he nodded. "im in love with you, and i have been since we were kids." he added and she felt a whiplash of memories hit her. she went through the big and little moments with him, putting the pieces together. he always chose her over lili, and that's why he got so upset with her in st john. "ry-" he cut her off, putting his hands up in innocence. "i know, i know." he said biting the inside of his cheek. "i know ill never be nate. ill never be nate the great. even before, i knew i was never good enough." was all he said before moving back to the stove. tessa sat there and shut her eyes, feeling her emotions consumer her. but they didn't. ryan's phone started to blast, and he looked a the id and saw nate. he rolled his eyes, picking it up.

“hey nate." he stated, and tessa perked up. ryan looked at tessa, "yeah she's actually here. she came to visit." ryan stated with not emotion on his face. "for you, tessa girl." he said locking his phone. "look's like it's time for you to fly to denver...in two hours."

1 year skip.

tessa walked with nate's dry cleaning in her hand as she walked through downtown denver. it was now october, one of the last warm days, and tessa was spending it in the city; working. after everything went down, lili and ej got together as well as nate and tessa. tessa moved in as lili moved out and in with ej. tessa was walking down the street going towards where nate said he'd be for them to drive home together, after she spent the day in the city. she walked down mainstreet and saw a familiar blonde walk past. the both of them paused instantly, turning around to face one another. lili sized tessa up and tessa just smiled. "you look good." tessa said, ever the people pleaser. ever the lili pleaser. lili pushed some hair behind her shoulder and smiled. despite them being in denver, and having their boyfriends be teammates, they stayed away from one another. they didnt talk, and tessa honestly had more friends outside of the wags group. she was only friends with tracy, cales gf and andrew coglianos wife. she was fine with that. nate and ej moved on, but still kept a distance. lili smiled, tilting her head just a bit. "oh." was all she said, before realizing that tessa saw it. "i hope you two are happy." was all lili stated, nodding towards tessa's engagment ring. the two got engaged over the summer right before they came out to denver. tessa smiled with a somewhat of a glow radiating from her, "we are. i am." was all she said. lili nodded, "are you two?" tessa questioned. lili nodded, "yes. we uh, we eloped this summer." she smiled referencing her small and simple ring. so unlike lili, tessa thought. "i know what youre thinking. but i love it. ej seems like a lot and he is in a way, but he's truly simple. i wish; i hope that someday you and nate can see that and hopefully come around. or atleast nate." lili responded and tessa nodded. "me too." tessa smiled, before turning around and continued to walk down main street to the square, where nate was waiting.

nate saw tessa's midlength wavy hair before he saw the rest of her. she was in her usual workday outfit, he pixie black pants clinging to her curves and her white boyfriend shirt untucked. she beamed as soon as she saw him, and he mirrored her. "hi." he mused, wrapping an arm around her back and pecking her. "hi." she said back, as he took the dry cleaning from her along with her work bag, and took her hand in the other. "ready for dinner?" he questioned and she nodded, heels clipping the sidewalk as they went to meet sid who was in the city for a game. where they'd also be asking him if he wanted to be Nate’s best man.

tessa saw her life with nate, she always had despite lili. despite the years spent on the bench, she'd never change it because now she had him. and he had her. she regularly thinks about their first meeting as they plan their wedding, both remembering clearly the outfit she had on. a blue dress. something borrowed from the very beginning.

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wasnt sure how to end but i hope you guys like it!!! despite it's being hella long, i hope you liked the drama :)

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