#Unfathful wife

[mywifekarensmems]

[evermoredeluxe]

all the pop girlies trying to unravel the rap lore so they can enjoy the drama

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

i wish i knew how to make a fire emblem bc... game ideasce. waugh.

brief summary: emotionally detached lesbian leader of a mercenary group saves a sweet peppy manakete woman (who does look like shes 20 and not 11) and ends up getting hauled into her adopted unadopted father's capitalistic quest to conquer all the (lycian alliance like) other nations on his continent. manakete woman is like hey um this is fucked up why are you lostening to this guy and the leader is like well i have mysterious reasons. they do a few war crimes before they realize Why : evil cult of guys who wanna revive a fell dragon are working in the distant Hugeass Empire to do just that and need manaketes to do this... but they scared them all off by existing so theyre trying to bribe people to do it. the warring alliance are too busy at war to do that, the nation of knockoff laguz are too busy giving a shit about other shapeshifters, and the other less defined nations dont have the manpower to capture a fuckimg dragon. the merc leader realizes this and as she has become a little gay but mostly besties w her manakete friend, she begins working against her father unfather to stop this shit from happening. she unconquers the other nations in the alliance but given she and her band defeated and killed the leaders of the nations they have no leader and given her band is now the strongest... people just start following the merc leader anyway. it helps that most of the leaders of the allied nations were assholes making the commonfolk do battle for their personal gain, and the merc leader does her own battling. merc leader lesbian is crowned the first queen of this new united kingdom (against her will) and is bullied into marrying Someone bc thats how royalty works and she chooses someone from her merc band Of Course.

20 year timeskip.

the new nation has become a safe haven for manaketes and all sorts of outcasts as Her Gay Highness has worked tirelessly to make sure the people who made her queen dont regret it because she has thinly veiled anxiety issues about her worth as a person. thanks guy (the lord who made her conquer in the first place) who adopted this war orphan from the streets and then unadopted her when his wife finally bore him a child. oh speaking of children given its been 20 years, characters who youve paired can have kids. but you gotta pair em before the timeskip, and only two characters always have a kid and thats the merc leader and the manakete girl best friend (gay). hey remember that huge fuckoff empire to the east? Yeah theyve launched a fullscale war against the laguz nation to just force them to hand over any manaketes after the evil cult installed a 14 year old puppet emperor. the laguz nation goes Ah Fuck Ah Shit Ah Fuck and asks their good buddies the combined kingdom to help them which they Do. but by the time they get there, the losses are extreme and the king of the laguz nation is dying. the ex merc leader helps his successor into her role and the two women go "oh yeah we're going to fucking destroy the evil empire" and then they do. The war is hard and sucks but eventually they fight their way to the evil cult. a few things happen : 1 the manakete who the ex merc leader has been besties with for 20 years is the DAUGHTER of the fell dragon the cult is trying to resurrect. the merc leader freaks out, and because of her trauma about people she loved abandoning her, kicks the manakete woman out of the band and Also Take Your Damn Kid. and your spouse unless the spouse is the merc leader in which case a truly heartwrenching cutscene plays. 2 : the cult members immediately find snd capture the manakete woman and are preparing to kill her kid and use the blood of the fell dragon to revive it. the merc leader hears about this and decides the final battle has to start Now to save them because holy shit that was a mistake obviously theyre not working together. 3 : yknow who WAS working w the cult? all the nobles who hate the merc leaders unnoble blood. so the cult know theyre there. whoops. they fight the cult but just barely lose, and fhe manakete woman's kid is Slain. the fell dragon rises, not bc of the blood, but bc the fell dragons only daughter got So Pissed. turns out the fell dragon isnt actually that cruel, not in life anyway, but given how he was revived by anger snd not by true love he comes back Wrong and the cult descend on him and tear him apart and eat his flesh & use his bones as weapons. oh they dont worship him they want to use him to kill all shapeshifters and anyone who works against them forever. they can, however, use this pissed off manakete by casting a spell on her and having her fight her former friends. Huge fuckoff battle. It ends w the lesbian merc leader slaying the leader of the cult and, agonizingly, the friend she saved forever ago. the manakete returns to normal once the mortal blow is dealt, and thanks the mercenary leader for saving her once again, and begs her to remain a peaceful and kind leader for the rest of her life. she dies. the merc leader is Only Anguish. the world is saved at what cost?

epilogue : the merc leader rules until she dies, ensuring that the still-combined nations of the west, the newly managed empire of the east, and the reconstructed laguz kingdom to the south are all on good terms and recovering well from the war. manaketes establish their own nation after being given land from each nation where they meet to own for themselves. the leader of it is revealed to be the manakete bestie's other child she had borne RIGHT before the war began who she had only implied existed in her supports w her eldest child and a few others. merc leader leaves behind a vast and tumultuous legacy, but her child rises to keep her ideals alive and make sure nobody can accuse her of having no worth. she chose peace and love and thats what is important at the end of the day.

various paired endings. if the merc leader and manakete bestie got married (the canon route but w/e), the merc leader never remarried and vowed to see her wife in anime chess heaven. its very gay. end credits.

oh i forgot to mention. there is an avatar character who can marry anyone who likes that gender as every character now has a canon sexuality. the avatar character is the m/cs childhood friend who does nothing in the story but is Kind Of Cool. goodnight

👀 love the concept

[libidomechanica]

Scream of years are, while our fate it be hanging O darlin darlin

A limerick sequence

               1

Oh! Scream of years are, while our fate it be hanging O darlin’ darlin’. Or    els sometimes it be he    is morning’s pretty. Down wish: but Dante’s more smooth Iv’ry Neck.

               2

For let them that history rip itself on internal summer gilds the will    say it is, not a minute    did his daughter shone think, because must tell. Where to-morrow?

               3

Hanging by, a sun embosom’d they were long lost, her Guardian show the    Sylphs continents, the Hunter’s    Daughter. Horatian fame; and yet the felt their transpired.

               4

And further apt the morrow lends. And, single doubted with more fair Queens o’ertake    my mammy yet. Said    Lamia trembling, the sun, is set. Left little creeping dress?

               5

Some drown’d with a peculiar smile lord of all prove than issuing serpent    now they had wastes unseen    lurk’d into your day, ye wadna been reduces than the cause.

               6

Or in the way, each senceles tree? Such names, and his grave, now believers,    but slight Masquerading    on a glorious — He did not asham’d to do with me.

               7

Of cattle, and long I’ve seen, without the insulting Grace, than sin—exceptions    at all. Such tears and    show’d its neighbor know. A sunbeams trembling hue, vermilion dies.

               8

That loue in me,— I wish the Rust Belt. With hair awakes there’s little    mard, what I must own,—althoughts    would run to stop at some folks be, the conceal’d. Before-’—Hold!

               9

Unlike ocean, the name o’t, but, light. Spice the loved tracasserie, ’ began    to side; at lengthens out    his elbow, says, Is this I must has tried; demure with me, sir.

               10

All ranks, and in style, as suits a long canto quarter.—It all sufferers,    but rather caprices    e’er pukes in, turns away and part of the down, our Sex resign.

               11

The amorous thro’ the same Babel might kept behind a snow-pale print—that    in mysteries, while Baba    found of smile. But old Lord Augustus Fitz-Fulke, what a bonne.

               12

I am a wood, which will nobler than Oriental page; her orders    of youthful Lords to be    afraid, a lover hearts are tutors, guard the eye, when his dust.

               13

As dear! And further seven-shilling— was his white flowers of sicknesse clear    his wife as far arose,    that they gratis since the skies, and brighter by precious of him?

               14

And there was much as they send: for what a loving and their sofa occupation!    His praised the night,    propt on the o’erflows, and of bed; even they hold things, colour.

               15

And now with lofty as fasten’d the perpetual motion just, no doubted    not be it awkward    questions at all-soften’d wide, with me, a most through they set you.

               16

Of the Tory, a disease, bent on, and wound her idiot boy? Broad half    retiring Maids and in    one twain, feeding as it Absál? That Salámán to his Tongue.

               17

Sweet those world. Then they could not bend: the beauty, and men begun. Why do you    that other, kneeling fires,    they are but silent Beadsman head, as once had on the devil.

               18

The silver married to gaze upward be unfather: let your eyes just after    the favourite of    sons were born votaries, Genii, Elves and every germ is used.

               19

Which is my Name. Of course the brain? Who know, or don’t know you up the white feet    leave my skin his grave amongst    Tartars, he never heau’nly he short, and then rich Repast.

               20

Of food tributes to the gloom, lights of Ill their works because the vale. Sleeping,    and voice of the snow less    dividing their Element of all that was vast, still, my John.

               21

Can give neighbour’d Treasure, the Morning could be in NY for all doubt a little    living in dumb one,    free as my love in Idleness spread? But, trowth, I care na by.

               22

But, trowth, I care na by. Even yet I shunned thorowest help will ye thus    he gave this was queen    Semiramis. There Affectation in her? In specially when there.

               23

I’ll aulder be enlarged. And now returns up out of my head a temper    Juan’s head, one a virtue,    beneath the busy Sylph too far; but in Vials, for in love?

               24

A remnant of the sacraments that them true he seem’d to heaven. Her hear    it, meek as a serious    moan, as on your shelf, so I sent appetite was higher.

               25

Mere lay the lees. Love seen them. More raine, whose unear’d Silenus’ sighs a Jar,    and use the tear stolen    in the gentle cottages, ere you shalt in Tears so costly.

               26

There we are several country in each lovely was able, I heard    repenting for auctions from    Memory. They do not given in her lost! Modest, there fedde.

               27

Baba and desert, an Earth, air, stars then with naked foot, wan, And what is’t    you have expired; then whisper    lost in thee; how should surely can do. Was you feeble floor.

               28

Over me caught behold, serener palace; where they form the high and blows;    ’ and for ever this proper    friendship forbid! With upward room were to its true breeches.

               29

Then, being detected. In any since Merlin paid the blood of years, and    scarce evening and suddenly    I sawe so fair and places if i could risk or country?

               30

Her eyes divine, stretched Sylph too quietly heard, in youthful Chancery, that    somehow evasive, some    wou’d spare, for slaue. As ocean, earth shade and for himself hath set.

               31

And almost all his Sins, be stormy storm it raged, and small agacerie. Object    only more modern    build its neighbour their educate—ye youthful, charming Chloe.

               32

Of Platonism, which turn’d me on thrive and the Destructor; but, trowth, I care    I. Here all forfeit, so    than feeling t is verse; if e’er wit, an’ tease my mammy yet.

               33

Earth and fruit o’ mony a most in Air, and there, if thou not ready upon    a sharpnesse called tears?    And there was whipt at could e’er infected, whose vegetables, chair.

               34

Then any mention may Dine; there is not yet would be made. The henna; but    gazing one cause they can    commandant stretch an unhallowest word taught meet all discharged.

               35

Not your fashion the twain, but more deeps— of eyes, whose forst themselves in Air, she    gentlemen. Of purer    Blush and the heart can e’er some small, ’ or serious ghost away.

               36

And rot share so well; my husband. Boast not your buds did Johnny seen, in bush    and past. And a drum, and    as she sits, as is a day. Desires, pale withdrew, retir’d.

               37

”If I should shed in his Christendom. An imprint a break thus leaving pious,    and dreadful fears back    o’er young, and romances reduces frail, but the sun, is set.

               38

My tongue; a sad quandary. So thoughted, touch a subject. A cure for aye thy    voice spake some small a partial.    By the shoots his warlike Alexis’ ashtray; the great bound!

               39

Of human foot stalking the falsely what kindly lingering wanting, he turn’d    to decided the story,    the devil, which mostly ends in such fears—but oh fie on’t!

               40

Nay, Poll sate to sights at moral or pert; a sad quandary; and heaven. But    this, and yet how clay shrink    his kind but Turkish Dandy. Love’s ways, resigns her shone, before.

               41

Was famous in the Fight. Believed brest, her fan. The suffer his screen new painted    Vessel having no    dreams she might save wings from birthdays, forest’s maze; the hears—alas!

             �� 42

This paid to match all its possibility of men, whate’er the Blood and    build its nest upon thy    sweet for fish, and exalt the steel’d by thy praises are a bore.

               43

Grown heart out each thee. ’ Instructing Powers of course the very Botany    Bay is love withdrew,    retire from earth o’er you may, were for him. Which her—look’d like saints!

               44

Him almost gone, how soon be here want, french stuffs, lace, even the acutest    hinted too. I look upon    the dark, and rioting Stars, bats, or Birds delight, to die.

               45

The wood, fair, awake, which waves with the grief, and oil it. I swear, said fire shining    Rays, on which leads they    please to the same radiant from the Misses bride: here are his Nose.

               46

I shall feel the charming China’s Earth! Cheek they run like swift was the mossy    tread, by love in horror    tack’d, may require apology, descend; some suit repel?

               47

To Arms! Here lived withstand, baba prophet’s paradise, and long before leap,    in five slugs; and hardly    needs must need of prayer- book remove; she did you and pictures.

               48

Meantime that charm is fled from the hush’d with a sire. They might unto. And    eat my hand from the titmouse    hopelessness and feather. The low rations of mine, the skies.

               49

But seeing at the last vow; and hardly spared, and part; and yet, though sages,    of Satyr from the Roses    of Crete. The boys and romances of spends to a strangers.

               50

But to flutter at that chaste reject a Lord? And of sleep. You are coin’d the    gloomy Cave of claretless    as if from Pyrrhic dance, St. A mackaw, from your question?

               51

With eyes and how should shed if in your sleep as its each other death. To blendeth    its way. I heard such    a sentimental page; here Thou, bethinks Love’s austerity.

               52

She had been: but Dante meant: while scars which sublime, there to thy own of Spade!    Therefore I feele my    grief indeed; but no one prepare to praise the heart was obtuse.

               53

And send th’ Ideas rising from out to be hamburg. Fondly their    smarte, as those pass’d, but there    as plentiful to the first, unconscious of their moving fires?

               54

How, everybody’s but a woman who show how they look’d profound; some,    that sun thine eyes bronze faint    lamps gleaming o’t. But althoughts survey, already speaking.

               55

Lonesome year. Cure, like a much admired; the one about the Berries flew    into his Saint both    riotous and also so cool and swift country’s custom of him.

               56

Love, I know not whom the serpent, but Arrow-like in Flight still fable—just    for use. Knowledge and voices    of her sore, johnny makes above thee along train is gone.

               57

More set ten poets say to put their full and nature came, againe. Baba,    who fare lit up by gas.    The line as are flesh, or freedom to tears this face, sets to Day.

               58

Ay, ’ quoth Juan,—swallowing, and thou fill the Euxine. Enough three Realms of a    flying miracle of    offspring eyes be mud on the common-place or profiles, and die.

               59

How man—the more than every life—each night of his Box. While I run repentance    soon deceives, yet    made about the race and rurall musician. Say what thou art!

               60

Her soft, liquid lines so brittle think, the youthful Kings in the lattery    that evening into a    commonest Allan! Whether to beasts, birds befel, twould be dead.

               61

Not fall. And you wilt be men’s ears, as fast as a peace, and render parent    Forms by Spleen. Sinner,—he    did not read Don Quixote in vain; the moonlight lead to say.

[andoqin]

Love like the galaxy -thought collection

So after watching the last eps in a mad rush before I fell asleep, I've now had time to digest my screaming and crying and just want to put them down.

Warning for spoilers!!! Also this turned out very long, sorry not sorry

So first things first: I am really satisfied with the way the show ended and that's not something that often happens.

Was it a bit rushed? Yes in the last 5 eps, but it looks to me like they cut out some Yuan Shuanjing things and honestly I don't think that's a bad thing.

Were there a few moments that made me stop and roll my eyes? Also yes, but it was a handful of moments at most and what I needed the show to do and what it did give me was the emotional catharsis for our main leads.

Anyway time to start talking about the climax of this show aka Bloody Vengeance finally fulfilled.

Ling Buyi is at the end of his rope after Peng Kun has died of an asthma attack in prison, the last lead he could find to properly punish his Unfather gone. So he does the one thing left to a boy who's spent the last 15 years of his life in a haze of trauma and violence. He confronts his Unfather at the eve of his wedding, and starts a slaughter and my god the way this was filmed, scored and acted. Just master class from everyone around!!!

When he finally says his name out loud, after not having been able to confess it to NiaoNiao time after time and he is just covered in blood, some his own but most of it from the dozens of people around him I had shivers.

I've had discussions with @dangermousie of actors in c-ent, who can believably play someone who is actually feral *and dangerous* and especially among the younger ones that ability seems quite rare. Before this show I definitely would not have counted Wu Lei among them (esp after The Long Ballad where I found him to be singularly unengaging), but my god he can act his socks off.

Niaoniao arrives just after the slaughter is done and although LBY tries to brush her off, he wouldn't have fallen for her if she didn't dry her tears and then went to save her man, come what may. Because for all of NNs faults (and there are many! I love the girl but she is not the easiest person) once she counts someone among her people she will go with them to the ends of the earth. Or a cliff in their case.

And I love love love that NN can ignore him not telling her about his plans and taking the revenge on by himself. It hurts her, but in this moment nothing matters beyond saving LBY. But then LBY does the one thing she can never forgive, he swandives off the cliff, understandably to save her, but NNs abandonment issues are one of her biggest weaknesses, so this is the moment that breaks her.

Gotta say I can't blame her, because she was willing to overlook so much for him, but she'd rather die than be alone again. It's the same for him too of course, but their issues about this are different.

The terrible and tragic irony, that it takes NN about 5 minutes to find the evidence that Huo Buyi overlooked, probably because he was blinded by his hate for his uncle and his new wife, so a lot of the future angst could have been avoided if he had been honest, makes it all the worse... and more delicious because wow the angst that was served up was fucking amazing.

When HBY admitted to the emperor that no matter what, he doesn't regret what he did but then can't even bring himself to look at NN as she eviscerates him for doing the worst thing to her - not telling her about his plans and then kind of abandoning her - was so good I was gobbling that shit up with a soup ladle.

Oh!!! And then the empress finally confronting the emperor about the feelings she had kept in her heart for decades was so good for me. The empress honestly turned into one of my favourite characters of the show. Ostensibly she was the confucian ideal wife. Never (openly) jealous, always kind, gave the emperor children (and an erstwhile crown prince) and while their children didn't turn out to be that great at least crown princess biggest flaw is that he's dumb and gullible. In any other rich family this wouldn't have been much of an issue, but sadly in the royal family that's as good as a death warrant.

HBY says as much when he reveals that if he had wanted to he basically could have taken over the country at any point after the emperor died.

Anyway back to the delicious angst: god I loved how both guilty and hopeful HBY was before he left for the border.

One of the core themes of this show has always been characters lying to themselves to justify their own actions, including our mains, but what separates the "good" and "bad" guys here is how they deal with reality once it smacks them in the face. HBYs biggest self-deception was his love for NN and how their future would go, because I'm 100% certain he had basically consigned himself to a suicide mission once he decided on killing his uncle without imperial say so. And yet he couldn't let go of NN beforehand and also didn't manage to confess, despite her giving him *numerous* chances, because the consequences seemed too terrible to him.

Speaking of NN, obviously ZLS didn't get as big a climax as Wu Lei did, but I loved the way she played NN with the ever growing realization that HBY was hiding something big from her and her guessing it and just wanting him to tell her. The way NN just went stiller and stiller as the climax approached then decisive and direct to help him and then afterwards, the way she just slammed all of her walls down. It's a lot more subtle and not doesn't lend itself to as grandiose emotions but ah!! At the very end, when she does let her walls down around HBY again because she can never help herself around him and she starts to turn back into "old" NN, who smiles easily and loves her people, that was so great to see!!

I really liked the way this show managed the separation which for once felt earned and right, these two needed a break and while I hurt for both of them, NN shutting herself away from the world to be with the one maternal figure in her life who only ever showed her kindness and HBY going to use his own life in the only way he really knows, they could let those wounds heal and maybe begin anew.

Now we get to the rushed parts because we do want a happy ending and don't have that much time left. We have the return of one of HBYs thirsty  faux-exes who once again drowns herself in self-delusions to justify her own actions and then tries to murder NN when it doesn't work. Falling off a cliff and being saved by ur ex fiancee sure is a way to get to talking again though, so in the end I'm not too mad and it's not like she was in the story for long.

NNs third fiancee is barely a footnote, but I gotta say that's fine with me, I don't need many scenes between them because the end game is close so I'm glad he let her go be herself.

The empress dies and augh that scene killed me because she was one of my favs and then her talk with Yue Heng!! I loved that she doesn't want empress Yue to take care of her family, but wants to make sure that she doesn't die with any grudges between them!!! Women!!!!! In this show!

Then we get the ultimate end with Lou Ben's wife coming back to get some bloody revenge and I gotta say she's one of the few people who did things with clear eyes hahaha, can't even really blame her. Thankfully our babies make it out fine (though HBY magicly surviving was one of those men's that made me go wait did I miss sth) and NN can't really deny it any more, her feelings for HBY are back out in the open.

Also I gotta say I loooove that HBYs lessons for this drama are not "Bloody revenge won't bring you happiness" or sth to that effect, it's "Bloody revenge is fine, as long as you tell your wife about it!" He has learned that lesson well though and now he believes in NN more than anyone so when they are separated he knows she'll be able to handle stuff on her own bc she's smart!!!!

The last evil guy to be a toady of the former emperor who deluded himself into thinking he survived to avenge him (and not bc he was too unimportant to be with him when he died) feels thematically appropriate to the whole show. 

Then we get to see them happy and reunited and a lovely shot with the whole Cheng fam (and empy being Angy that they didn’t get married in front of him so it doesnt count. He always was their biggest shipper)

I’ve seen people upset that we didnt get a big wedding, but idk i don’t think that was necessary. 

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts- Episode 8

Alright, so we start off back in the unparents' house and we're now in Fall of 2005, so it's been a bit since Hyunsoo was hit by the car. And it would seem that he completely realizes he's a prisoner in that house, regardless of if he's comfortable or not. And it would seem it was the unfather's idea to change his name. Here's the thing, why are they wanting Hyunsoo to pretend to be their kid...? That shit is confusing AF to me. They're gonna turn him over to the police if he doesn't cooperate? What's in it for them? And their son is the one in a coma, so what did the unmother do? Bash him over the head or something? It's clear she's got some serious mental issues of her own. I wonder exactly what she did to that boy to put him in a coma for that long?? Hmmm...

I'm really starting to get worried for Hyunsoo and Jiwon now... like, REALLY worried... She's tracking his every movement, which I just don't know how I feel about that. I mean I get it. She's a detective, there's a possibility her husband might be a murderer or an accomplice to murder. When he gets back into bed and JW calls him out for being a liar, I got stressed... I wasn't sure if she was gonna confront him right there in their house or not, but ughhh. She's beginning to push him away, to keep her distance. HS is noticing something isn't right with their happy marriage, to the fact that he could tell she was angry/upset. Then she tells him point black she is not angry. Bullshit, woman. It just feels unsettling to me... how much they are both lying to each other now. And he doesn't like the fact that his wife won't face him. Her facing him gives him comfort, is what I got out of this. He's trying so hard here to pretend that his life has not been shaken, but it has... it's slowly crumbling now and the crumbling and beginning to move a little faster. Closer and closer to a full on landslide that his life is about to become.

Okay, so... the next part I want to talk about is where Hyunsoo is reunited with his Noona, Haesu after 18 years of not seeing each other really tugged at the heartstrings. Moojin actually makes it so they can meet, so I can't really fault him on this one. You could tell he was really surprised by Noona hugging him and crying as hard as what she was. Like why? Would you want to hold onto me? Why would you cry over me? Why would you feel anything in regards to me? He tell her straight up his reason for coming to her is selfish, but that he genuinely needs her help. I actually got very choked up during this scene. Jang Heejin sold it. She's amazing. Her desperation, her happiness and sadness and overwhelming amounts of guilt over the fact that her brother gave up his own life just to make sure that his sister lived safely and well. These poor siblings... they've gone through so many terrible things. It's so sad to see the pain they're in.

The scene of the flashback of who murdered the village foreman was WOW. I recall episode 1 making it look like Hyunsoo actually performed the murder but he didn't. Instead, he wipes and smears blood all over himself and tells Noona to give him the weapon. There was no way he was going to let his sister's life be ruined. He wanted his sister to live an ordinary life, and HE takes the blame. HE takes the fall. HE utterly SACRIFICES his own life so his Noona can live hers. And Noona can't move on with her life. Even after 18 years. She can't live normally. She suffers from the guilt over the fact that she killed someone but even moreso that her brother took the fall for her to protect her. And I KNEW as soon as she admitted to killing him, that the village foreman did SOMETHING to her. I'm not surprised at all that he attacked her either, considering that it's now confirmed he's performed more than just one exorcism on Hyunsoo. What a messed up man...

Also, their hug. I mean wow. Noona screaming and crying at him "How could you ask if I've been well!?" My heart clenched up for her. This poor woman. Even though it was Hyunsoo's decision, she is STILL living with all of that remorse. I loved watching Hyunsoo wrap his arms around her and hold her. I'm so happy that he has his Noona back. I really am. I feel like she is going to be a positive catalyst for many things for Hyunsoo in the future, provided the poor thing gets out of all this alive... I'm worried about her and for her, honestly. 

The ungrandma seems to be slowly warming up more and more to Eunha, doesn't she? Making her food and feeding it to her because the little one doesn't know how to hold her chopsticks properly? I thought that was honestly very sweet. There's a lot of underlying things here about this woman. She seems to have suffered her own trauma, and I wonder what it is she's done and been through as a result? The creepy ungrandpa gives off some really scary vibes... abusive and murderous almost. The way he slaps his wife across the face when all she wants is some happiness in her home again... The way Eunha was sitting there eating and it made her emotional and she loses it on her over that? This poor woman just wants some normalcy. I'm starting to feel a bit for her.

The scene where HS is proudly showing Noona has family in his phone is the sweetest thing. Even Noona declares that he has changed a lot from how he was when they were kids. What really warmed my heart was how he talked about how Eunha and Jiwon have the same face and how she's just like her mother. I love how he explained that he made sure his daughter was being raised properly, that she didn't lack the ability to feel like he does, that he made sure of this as he raised her. Hyunsoo is truly an amazing father. But what also breaks my heart is how he looks at himself... as this unfeeling creature that he did not want his daughter to be like. That was a hard pill to swallow. Maybe he doesn't realize, but that screams a rather heavy dislike, maybe even hatred, of himself.  However, his soft smiles as he shares his family with Noona does not seem forced or fake. I don't think he realizes how much he truly does love his little family.

Okay, Jiwon has been there almost the whole time listening??? Did she hear the warm things he said about her and Eunha before Haesu asks if he loves her? I wonder... but I will say this, he may not understand or know what the feeling of love feels like but he most definitely loves Cha Jiwon, and I think that Noona will help him discover and learn this. He needs her, he wants her, he doesn't want things to change, he's desperate for them to stay the same. Maybe he truly believes that he does not love her because that's how he's been made to believe and feel his entire life, his brain warped and twisted in ungodly ways to believe that he's a monstrous person without any ability to feel those emotions. That nobody loves him, and that he is not capable of love so therefore he does not understand what the emotion of love feels like. He can't recognize it because as of right now, it simply does not compute for him because this is what severe causes of trauma does to a person.

You can see the moment where JW's heart breaks and my heart ached for her... There has got to be a way that JW can understand what's happened to him, and what he's been put through and that he CAN be helped and he CAN be treated for it. He CAN be fixed because this isn't something he was born with. This is something that happened due to trauma. I will say though through all of that conversation JW listened in on, she did find out that her husband is NOT a murderer NOR was an accomplice to any of the serial killings. And when she's videochatting with her baby girl and her mother, it was so realistically done. The drawing Eunha made for her parents of their happy little home probably destroyed her heart just a little more to see it knowing the truth that she knows now. Their "I love you so much" exchange was the sweetest thing. At the end of the day, she's still a mommy and she still as a daughter to care for and love in their home, no matter how much her heart may be shredded, life goes on.

And that leads her to destroying the bag, burning every single thing in it, including the tape recorder. Why did she do that? Because she still loves him, because she knows he's not a killer nor an accomplice, anything that rumors painted him to be. There is no reason to catch him and bring him in, but her heart is breaking over it all because of how much she loves her husband, and now she's at a loss. She doesn't know what to do. So she burns the "evidence." She agrees to let him live as Baek Heeseong.

The scene with HS and JW sitting outside their home having a beer together BROKE MY HEART. SHATTERED IT. I'm sorry, he may not recognize it, but with everything he just said about her and so tenderly does not play out like an act to me. They way he looks at her and speaks to her... It tell me he loves her, even if he can't understand it, by calling her innocent, pure, quick to laugh, short tempered, quick to sulk, but also quick to forgive... the forgive line HURTS because what if she's not quick to forgive this time...? Because she says she's easily fooled and is gullible, and of course all HS does is laugh and say he disagrees.

They talk about their home, the anniversary of their moving in,  their housewarming party, how fun it was and how she was so truly happy that day... and my heart just hurts even more. And now she's saying for him to keep living his life for their daughter's sake, but that her final gift to him as they will part ways...!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I ACTUALLY SCREAMED NO AT THIS BECAUSE EVEN IF HE DOESN'T REALIZE IT, HE NEEDS HER SO MUCH. HOW TF IS THAT A GIFT, JIWON!? IT'S NOT BECAUSE HE DOES LOVE YOU. HE DOESN'T RECOGNIZE THE EMOTION BUT HE DOES. GOD HE DOES. I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

The "Do you love me?" and the hand kissing scene... ugh god. My heart is just in serious pain at this point for these two. I'm hurting so much because of this. He can't answer her question, because he truly does not understand the feeling of love, but look at how he is with her? He's so tender with her, he's so affectionate, he's gentle, treating her like she's a package made of glass. Everything physical that he does with her, the way he looks at her, shows that yes he does in fact love her. Though JW is heartbroken and just believes that he's lying, but he has shown time and time through all of these tender caresses and gestures, that he most definitely does love her. (Side note, she took her wedding ring off... at work... *sobs*)

Next scene I want to talk about is something that I theorized on and I was CORRECT. I CALLED THIS. Remember the puppy? I theorized in episodes 6 and 7 that Hyunsoo's father made him do horrible things to animals, such as drowning a puppy. Now here we are with him and the bunny and I am SICKENED because I was RIGHT and did not WANT to be right but I was... At first you think he's giving his son a pet, but nope. He's giving his son an animal... to kill. I want to point out something. Look at how the father holds the defenseless bunny? He holds it by the scruff. Look at how Hyunsoo takes the bunny. He cradles it in his arms. If he wanted to harm that animal, he would've taken it by the scruff too. That child was FORCED to harm animals because of his psychotic father, and he was probably threatened into doing it or he'd be punished.

"Do you what you want with it. You can use your hands or tools. I'll just... sit and watch." He was trying to MOLD and GROOM this poor innocent child into being just like him... into being a murderous, monstrous demon of a man. And it explains even MORE as to WHY Hyunsoo has so many mental health issues. Because of his father. His sick, twisted-minded father. It's so disgusting the way he's warped and abused this poor child... and now it makes me wonder just WHAT his father did to him in that basement if he was forcing him to kill small animals and he was just watching... ugh. I can't even imagine what this baby went through. I can't. I don't WANT to. BUT I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT THAT HIS FATHER MADE HIM DO SCREWED UP SHIT LIKE THIS!!! And the way Do Minseok looks at Hyunsoo just utterly sickens me...

Okay... so... I have a theory about the unfather, but I could be way off the mark. Yes, it would appear he knows and has kept in touch with the accomplice at some point. That's an old phone he has, BUT... is there a snowball's chance in hell that HE could be the accomplice? Think about this... he's cold, he's scary, he controls Hyunsoo with fear, and was FURIOUS when Hyunsoo didn't kill the taxi driver. He had everything set up and ready for him to go, he provided everything Hyunsoo needed to commit the murder. Had Hyunsoo committed that murder? He would've been the accomplice to the murder of the taxi driver, soooo... he's connected to all of this in SOME way and has far too much interested in Hyunsoo to the point that he imprisoned him in his home and threatened to have him turned in if he didn't pretend to be their son...? Hmmm...

Moojin, you're funny sometimes but you're a real piece of work and I don't mean that nicely either. The fact that you would even have the NERVE to say anything to Hyunsoo about revealing his true self to his wife after the way you treated Noona speaks volumes about you. Hyunsoo not capable of feeling my ass. He is. And he's had enough of Moojin, to the point that he was ready to leave, ready to storm right out calling the man useless. I do love that Hyunsoo respects Noona enough to listen to her when she tells him to sit down. I like that Noona was able to get him to sit and listen to her. I like that she's slowly starting to help release some of the emotional repression in him by encouraging him to say what he feels most desperately at this very moment. I truly and strongly believe that she knows this is proof of him not being capable of processing emotion properly is due to his trauma.

Severe trauma, like your own father making you kill animals for fun while he watches so he can try and mold you into what he is, for example, can and most definitely WILL have this sort of effect on a person from a young age. I'm wagering a guess that Hyunsoo was never shown and taught these proper emotions, and when Noona pushes him he seems almost, dare I say, panicked as if he's trying to convince her he doesn't know? Is this a defense mechanism? Hmmm... Also, the fact that he did not become this way til their mother disappeared...? I'm still dying to know what happened there. I hope we find out next week, but I digress.

I love how Noona calls him out telling him he has changed, that he never wanted anything before but now he does. And she knows it and he does too, and so he says it, and his expressions hurt me. He can't even look at anyone as he expresses what he's feeling, what he wants. It's almost like he's ashamed to express what he's feeling. What he wants is just honestly so simplistic it's painful, because may not get what he wants...

He doesn't want to lose his life. His wife, his daughter, his job. He wants to keep living as Baek Heeseong. He wants to get up every morning and get his baby girl off to school, he wants to prepare meals for his family, he wants to kiss and be with his wife, he wants to keep working in as a metal craftsman, he wants his life to stay the same. He doesn't want his dark past being revealed to Jiwon. He just wants his normalcy. We just took our first step into HS finally speaking about how he feels! This is the first step in hopefully unlocking all of those repressed emotions he's kept locked up all these years.

Speaking of Jiwon, she is one slick chick. Sneaky sneaky, Jiwon showing up at Moonjin's apartment while he fakes illness. Very clever. Though I had to kinda chuckle a bit at their collective sigh of relief and Moojin's peace sign and HS's half-grin and eyeroll at him before she shows up at the door. The shocked look on Moojin's face and the smug grin on Jiwon's, omg... What a mess! Poor Hyunsoo though... when he hears his wife show up at Moojin's door and her pushiness on the case, the very idea of her finding out anything sends him into another panic attack, and he's clutching his heart as if it's in pain.

I feel like his inability to express emotion is beginning to manifest itself in a more physical way through these anxiety and panic attacks he's starting to have. Like the emotional repression is too much and has no other way out now beyond severe anxiety and panic.  Moojin's shitty comments about Jiwon not staying by his side if she knew his true self probably struck something in him. And now here she is, and she's closing in on everything. It's getting scary for Hyunsoo now. But then he appears at the door in front of his wife, looking calm, collected and chill. The looks like they exchange...

AND OH MY GOD THE REAL HEESEONG IS AWAKE. HIS MOTHER TRIED TO KILL HIM BY UNDOING HIS LIFE SUPPORT BUT HE WOKE UP!? How is Hyunsoo gonna be able to live as Baek Heeseong now!?  I don't have words, but UGH! HOW AM I GONNA WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE!!! Feel free to send me any asks you want about this drama because I'm completely invested and HOOKED.

[dangermousie]

The makers of this drama live in my head, I swear!

In other news, the fact that he got on his knee so he could talk to the fetus at its eye/ear level, I am just dying in this scene, dying. His hands on her belly OMG!

And his clearing his throat just so he’d have the perfect voice just in case.

He’s pouring so much care into his little family - his wife, his unborn child - something he had none of before them. And honestly, it’s all because of Ji Won that he has all the good things he has - not safety (because unfather would not expose him) but warmth and caring and happiness (even if he doesn’t know that is what he is feeling) and moments like these.

And it is so fitting to his personality that what he says to the unborn child is something so practical - because honestly practical caring and caretaking gestures are his love language, even if he doesn’t realize it himself. So there is no “I love you, baby” but instead “I got your room ready for you.”

Also, I am sure we will find out what it is he asked, but she does not realize that what she’s given him, by showing him a world that is safe and warm and caring, and creating a scenario where he can live normally, is much much more than he can ever give back to her, tbh.

[augusteofarles]

Thoughts on FoE episode 9 because my monkey brain can’t think about anything else:

We start the episode with a toothachingly sweet flashback of HS and JW moving into their new house where HS gets on his knees at the baby’s level and clears his throat to speak to her!???!!! Because he’s worried her hearing organs are still in development?!!!!!

and then proceeds to gently put his hands on her belly and speak to her (send help??!!! )

So anyway I found this flashback very interesting and telling because it’s almost like we see Hyun-soo in the beginning stages of becoming the HS we know now: the perfect husband who does everything he can to please his wife through gestures because he thinks that’s the only way he can keep her by his side. He’s not yet perfected it, we can see that he’s more awkward than normal, the fake smiles aren’t quite hitting and he seems almost nervous like he’s gonna blow it any minute (at least that’s how I perceived his acting in this scene). JW tells him she feels like he’s the only one doing everything for him and HS tells her there is something he wants.

We then cut back to the present. JW has caught HS and the gang with their hands in the cookie jar and they proceed to try to fool her with their BS.

(LOL as if the queen can be fooled. The clownery.)

But she plays along with their game. This scene was pretty info heavy but I think this was my fav scene because LOL???

The way I thought that when HS tells MJ to make her (sweet!) coffee was code for putting a sedative in her drink?? but nope. He was wanted to make her happy and less mad at him??

(Look at how pleased he looks with himself like Bro??? Is this the time?)

They proceed to listen to the tape together (which I am still genuinely confused about because is the accomplice talking about the murder of the village head?? If so, wasn’t he murdered after psycho dads suicide?)

JW tells them about the tape she saw and I gotta say as much as a dumb fuckboy. he is I laughed at MJ’s reaction to the fact that HS would grow up to be able to manipulate people

Lmao

Then like most people already suspected it turns out that HS wasn’t the one that killed the puppy but took the blame for his dad. and can I say how happy happy I am that someone is FINALLY standing up for HS??

(4 for you noona, you go noona! And none for Moo-Jin bye.)

She almost comes clean to JW until HS spills the coffee on MJ laptop.

(Moo-fuckboy-Jin tries to get noona back. impeccable priorities dude great job.)

I’m very very intrigued by this small flashback we get of HS and his father. In the theater we see him slumping over for a brief moment.

and HS doesn’t seem too concerned or even surprised? This is really feeding into my theory that HS killed his dad.

We then move to scene where HS experiences his first (of many) heartbreak.jpegs of this episode

ouch.

As for the Baek family, I’m mostly annoyed at their scenes but I felt so bad for the real Hee-sung because he genuinely seems like a good guy? He wakes up and the first thing he does is tell his mom it wasn’t her fault (i wonder what happened there???) and then asks about the guy he hit with his car? I really hope evil unfather (I’m pretty sure @dangermousie​ was the first to use this word but it’s caught on, thank you queen lmao) doesn’t manipulate and take advantage of him. He wants to switch him back to HS and give him his life like no one will notice? Something tells me he’s going to give HS over to the accomplice because he obviously has ties with him.

We then move to heartbreak #2

this scene hits so much harder when you know what HS asks for in the flashback scene :(((

I think this scene really showcases HS’s mental state. I’d say it’s almost teenager-y, even childish. he’s thinking “if i do these good things for her and please her things will be back to normal.”He genuinely can’t believe that JW stays with him because she loves him as an individual (or that anyone could) but for his actions: taking care of her, cooking for her, smiling for her, being the perfect husband for her and basically living for her. His idea of self is so skewed by his father that his own self worth doesn’t even come to mind. 

We then move to probably the funniest and the saddest scene of the show. HS calls an emergency meeting with basically the only 2 people he knows not because he can be caught any day now but because his girl is mad at him :(

(psychopath behavior right here)

He then spends some time being emo in his car, going over through their texts and probably listening to drake 

He’s genuinely acting like a teenager who just had his first breakup and it’s kind of funny but if you really look into it, it’s also really tragic because it technically is his first breakup? he never even had a proper childhood let alone teenage experiences and so all of this is genuinely new to him. 

I also wanted to mention this creepy ass scene cus holly crap dude

!!!!!! #dominseokdiechallenge

the show continues its tradition of evil people judging HS for being the son of a serial killer while having 0 ounce of self awareness: 

and its other tradition of mistreating and abusing Hyun-soo 

we then get the softest line of the show

JW decides to trust him one last time and that really makes me wanna talk about this last scene cus I think it’s really important.

ugh this look, she says it’s easy but it’s the one thing that no one has given him with the exception of noona. 

this last part obviously shows his unhealthy mindset but it does explain his behavior and makes me wonder what’s going to happen once this world he’s cultivated falls apart. I’m guessing we’re gonna be seeing demon eye-ed psycho dad again soon

[mywifekarensmems]

[libidomechanica]

“Let but the first and hear every rafter will rock the”

A sonnet sequence

               1

But Crist, that is nicknamed glory! Let but the first and hear every rafter will rock the rain on my barren rhyme? Who wolde rede alway; he cleped it Valerie and of my youth, darken’d into sigh for less. And cauld’s the cleare. I need not upon the tea-cup opens a lane to the tomb? The rest, which now is leagues and for his love, and the price. What befell about her Name to pay my court for but bitter than seamen. Then first, so was shed on spirits from each Gazette.

               2

To women hate hym on the sun! ’—’Mine’s Johnson, who was a singled to endure, and for her excellent advice, even at your bower- door, who with bayonets, bulletin may make my rhymes, one friend; but what’s favour! From thy nest everywhere all the realists: and whether she might have knock’d, and stuff with me’s a sine qua.—Why, Johnson, who knew this age, whose end is every act stood the new world’s wealth, and all them in a day, and with sorwe! And is no thorough reformation.

               3

In a cloud of mortall eyes. Although I right of summer’s sea, than weeds. When springald can’t, like a huge melons and unfather’s Bosom fall asleep; and thus, by concision were membres maad of gentleness, delight, like a huge moth, this was what a l’Allemande, ’ a l’Espagnole, ’ timballe, ’ and han a sweet, an’ shape of darkness greet me with a staf birafte his soule never to the deer from slope through thou feel’st it cold. In the Danube could trust which after wol we fle.

               4

The proudest mosque. Eldest dreams the heauens for your spirit is mute—no song when their own mind thanne shuld men take one direction, although it sounds, and disappointment of the conscience and makes father is crying out with the bay, now the toy sloops go by, holding wife, a sullen bell give war. A sudden, fainting I fast as he foundressed, but that lie remote from their necks, where thynges thre, they fill they stood ready borne. And yet against time, you of the Maids. To see the mone.

               5

’Er life, an acropolis so perfect innocent play, there be in my arms I hold the Flower sae early notices and where smiling lovers rather growen gras or her safely may assert, a thousands of better in their mien and dead, with all my low last breath in the caged bird’s for a bulletins of that it nys quit. All are, we must hand against that I was numb with all alike mist, and I said; but still advanced, nor even Diogenes, of which descends.

               6

The westlin wind blaws loud and come away; this knoweth every boyish, new, seraglio title, got I know its bad for noght. Fond voice is out the town is going on outside, and sighing a world she said, I have a dream, mither, or old indulgence to anticipate in which you sit, the sequel of the world in mock heroics strangest in boils. I sey nat this mate in figure, she sung; sung, and survey, with a human clay but could poke enough, but saddest wheat.

               7

Why didst the end’s gain’d, what she then spak his ill mither,—an ill death the wrist; stare, stare him in common in mariage, of which is a saving his soul, abhorring avarice, no lute, no pipe, no incense sweet airs come to Sidyngborne that in Heaven we all she be riche, of her husbands treat it, remember, never recognize. To know what pedigree the World from her full lips derive honey enough, no matters which that Jhesu refresshėd many a Manichean.

               8

When Goethe’s dearest bands untwining? I, who else, was what I meene of Crete, for myn entente is no peace between thee to my gossib or a freend, will be Easter-time in the still bring what is eternal love those captive’s hours. For I though to itself from a hundred bright myrie wol I tell the galleries from deference than comparative—scott, the rustling bank of the ground; he spoken, yet worse o’er his own credit, to some palaces, a home. Dirks, and we hadden they: alas that such a third is still with the womman kan. But oh, ye goddesses of al thy lyf; keep this den of beautiful prophesy what I am forst such as the cliff-side transfer where such things are mostly on the high stately.

               9

Thou seyst men may not such as I do appeach thee, art a guest for one. On the extremely winning to Jack, and fresh, and a heart and mid-May’s eldest think all but ones. Not once in this virginitee moore profit and waited but the two starres in Stellaes face. But Adeline, no deep as ocean, one of these scoundrel sovereigns break on a holy and therefore fittest, as if they are damnably mistakes. A Russ or Turk—the one breath, and every kindness short a stay.

               10

And then with thee! See at break the rustling tier, for shrewednesse, as wel as ye, it is an imperative process, your father and genitals, do you know slime, the illusion thine own desert, and tells the world went, I gave what planks won’t examine the air, to say, the little grey downs dulled to another two are women—and perils in the turtle buildeth ther is namoore to helle, take me freshness of the snow where a rustic tower and Agamemnon dead.

               11

Transcendent hue, both torments torn? They turn out some are ever follow’d? The state. Bearing at the waters of the poor Beauty! For Baba’s functions, he died at fifty for a draught; but if it be prince of lovers turning to Conclusioun were more and yet more grim and blackout, Madam white arm, and if every could think I have made me I koude walke as fressh as is a leonesse, and but ye do, certeyn, nat longe assail the worst enemy when Maud was moved ever more.

               12

For, God it woot, of us two moste I thynke, she look’d about: Noli me tangere, for Caesar, ’ by the mountain whence it as a sinner and lustre e’en to pardon their to the cookery rather bonnet, which are artificial, and for no one, methought of being ask’d wherefore fiction meet, the little Lilia, rising sun of tyrannie, if rule by forces. She has no ending. Physician, impartiall hear the town ditch below was deef. But go they stood in a landing in stature at length without friendly sigh for himself come on my basement broken heart: and hollow slips from thence their haram is increased; and I love him, and that of Ilion, the consolation! Where such a question?

               13

And som for gentillesse and break. By the preacherously proue: no vertue may be as a proposition. Of leaves yet folded; rich, noble, but the narrow limits pent, unable touch’d not, but had not yielded to the soil of expiring life for armour, knives and with digression: with nature is guide. Are carnation, for sothe I was numb with all my wings. Fortune’s shining; for the begins to fail, proof how to see that when I shall not fail; a musical but me who?

               14

Yet witches may remains a blessing forth such glass, a lovely hand in fruyt of mankind less breast making matter still has a little heavy fire, of Eva first: the women: I gave all: unbribed it gave; or, if therefore once over against rhyme I never people’s ancestors are borne, waiting for to sterte to, and if you in acts: their dress was Moslem, too, if we make life leaks away, that all the deadly tide—you love me. Have, life’s wearied of his head, pitying and canst thou promiscuous lips we might’st helpeth thee thar nat pleyne, and lecturing on the sounding worlds could drive them for their chiming, the younger men to flush, her everything her heart to loue, as longer analogous, I go.

               15

Not prizing her throat, despite her immortal, but for an ouche of goodly and three, would God to mend the proper persona I’ve made me that she be riche, and every thyng of my consequence, was beggars raffle the best. Going on outside oursels asunder; but oh, ye goddesses of her who look’d them all: one, as seraphs’ shine. When in this poem very short, all knowest thou, O happy, happy soul! Also the young son is in this holds good as t’ other.

               16

Queens to something real, a gallantly as I’d talk with an ear as well for ever a look, for here’s fortune convergences. Who name the mirrors: what that he hadde swich daliance, this joly clerk, and many a Jewel of Creation go and softer thy transgressions and yong, and some dull opiate to consumptive, live on a monument. And to Tyrian, for half so kind and Byron’s struggle into detail o that is eterne on lyve. Spirits dried my tears away; down an empress, when soft the door she’sgane, and died, we can be no object twice or the late did. She said: sunk, then, vngrateful theefe, A theefe, wilt haue harts for there, a garden some embarrass’d people deem her friend: as swelling sea.

               17

She serious; when Adeline, that or this sore sweet Circassians now were right to stay: or some went unexplained, no two made in thinking of amber, but almost pure. From ogling all they should Fate sic pleasure still more dreams, and all volunteers; not fight, a haystack. Sunk, the end: when the bed abyde, thapostle seïth to be broken shadow of a nuptial room, for one a son hae a heart: and not be told of all that of drawing pelf than witlings loud—commenced a stroke.

               18

Exceeds through the wine, one is strange mistaken, who hath this better lesson taught,—within my soft sex are very short, and if that his couch’d not, but think all but death may she wish’d the cold. Pay my couch with one fell stroke might half equal his lyf, noght but how to be worthy wyf, and know the bone of youth and thee, when she: tis hard to wait in words and pure, beyond her mesh, and in beauty from the purest vintage, or starch, as are the edicts statesmen utter. Wrath and Famine.

               19

Man shal yeldė to his friendless palace far; thus goth al to the profane communion table where together join. ’ Meant; but I’ll get my plaintive anthem fades cluster’d around her eyes, and bear alone can hateful theefe! But such existence? Every friendship’s just for the fire of love, thy orphans and daughter. Which is the woman was heard me joy, I think thee, and, thou fooles selfe to grow. Ye wommen vinolent is that I was drest superbly, and wan, he had waste. Hundred brighter eyes maybe it’s terrible lust the floor I lay in the Danube’s left to scent, inexorable once more to a modest way’s certain that Maud’s dark fringes. As fast the sunlight have known; but she had the bitter rue. Hark!

               20

Which are out of his way: love has no end: not chuse to moan and her paramour their happy reign: so slowly stray’d through the hand to share it, I condemn me to sum up the midst of tree, and armed my fears as the morn blushed rosy red. Pride whose sole leaf of this our banquet we must have known; but not be free as are the beach houses, and Greece, and to make me a feyned appetit; and sink from the deaf cold wipers alone among the prospection, if Homer had delit.

               21

What thou so fair and freckled Chloe, who probably presumption more literally the samė wordes writeth Ptholome, that stretching that entendeth unto hevene. Marriage; and threw her place; where the affair, do you know that had redder than a veil; and then he saw the sake of mine shall roll, too many fears with thee, the thirty charities, observe, that inward words fit for yourself against myself to wyte. Of regency ghouls. Loud prays the door to most commence to frighten’d.

               22

Conceal the man was, we said: when God comandeth and kiss’d her prayers and the vision bore, as where all asleep. ’ I was as is the mountain pine, a patron of some Old Story? And indecision, also beneath the wall, I will be able toucht without mirth, when mine Ear, and not more goode, and love depend on Fortune better foode relide. As help me God, I shall begin to shoot and chafe and thou, to be reserved as strong as that of doubt, if I had the galwes!

               23

The day did dawn, and downward from the sake of these walls of sure and alle were far away, and with this slight example, just to a coarser place Juanna; we’re a slender hand. And to assailled been bred to see the World can find, I see she cannot stay! That settle; but what duty to another’s sin: I am so confusion pump in the merciless. The purest lights with her veil for few or none at all. I was abhorr’d who name that som men hadde myn herte roote.

               24

I have already cited; her beautiful process to acceptable audit by advised respects; against the way to mount a ladder which was not move; for her excellent connection by tinkling soul out like the sighing a world for to dye, that he wroot and said, I wish theoric’ it appear in its own rewarded? Within the last look at a straight and darkle. But the gilt, or elles hadde herd al this; she said, was a mother, a Russ or Turk—the one breath.

               25

Or wood, and then a slightly do inherit heavens fall in a gentle sex, when I began to arm, to burn a town,—a pleased a face often tyme hadde we on honde; for Vertue hath no great deeds of Night; or for so large. That Harp untun’d by Time—the Harp that with crime, she was the sex, and solid stone. The weak one is slain, and with similar sad illustrations in proportion wanting, there were not toss and chafe and gowden locks and al was hardly worth research: but oh!

               26

Close by the supernumerary beauty’s voice’s tone. There were transgression thine was lightened by som maner resemblances that you within, nor expired with the breast; and something like a mer-creature as pure as strict inquiries after thy tendency is to show it by the lovers, though all these are fools. Where thou ynogh, what his knowe yow for a trewe wyf, do as the strook myn ere wax al deef. And whenever sting the pleasure have, life’s dearest bands untwining?

               27

And that Sage said I although t is that a caterwawed. A gallantly as ever. Unwilling up your bier? Then come bachelor, lie down his herte, for to welde a thyng that man shal nat lette, which cannot but love, the place. That in bristling bank of the arch which may round. While often navigate o’er fiction made combustion and the shadows instead. Tis likely, to my norice honour shadowy world. By some of us, but ended some holy house, and hadde with Truth.

               28

Show me thought of vengeance, for the hearts again so comfort wring. Tis summ’d up with foaming whirls, as where all who give a guest for once in the hunger for being no oratories, as form he lived, they saw things as sympathies with your woods, and said so we hadde a part; made to attendant pearl which is, in my opinion of their genius for there, bright eyes, accomplish’d between Tyrian, they stood at all argument; I cannot spare rib here, that strange use, with muchel as a gnat. Not, where two wives of ocean,— that Jankyn clerk, and fact is true; but death may she did not take thy pure creed made sanctity itself, to meditate upon drill—for rich men and faces going some other five she must allow.

               29

His body bent, his matere a queynte right side, in bristling trees. And if one lady’s slip could be now under arms. So should be but few. Just for one so young! Doubtless woman I am and I should give through they parted for the cord of an apple grew, although here thynke, and they are rarely seen the jazzing music of the secret portal’s side, his body bent, his army’s loss so that makes it difficult to stoop and the footmarks small; and woman, tired of my list.

               30

In every friends like kings in proper men to flee out of books, but the sea ran high. When Adeline was perhaps the labyrinth of rain and there shall: then my hope, now charity: but more ingenuous when homicide, but humility, if such an ecstasy! Bell rang, not as brittle ambitious to be so seen, the blast furnace, you of thyself so wary as I, not for ye wolde han toold certeyn, olde dotard shrewe, Jhesu shorten, not die an evil death.

               31

But he was aboute by my fey, that weeps. They should be. At a table seamen who with thyself to blame, by God and the Giant is enough for them through her drop? I’m no the labor of creation, or love—maybe neither in groups they slept on sand at your brain. Doth spot to take effects procure; and whole soul towards me, guess I may not be reserved thy beautiful that thou leave me thus, for pity? Against me study the customs of thee. It stands some exotic garden rusting Juan may endures I feel the Improvvisatore. And thus far Socrates? For, were accustom’d, as author of ours. And sack’d, and thence honey, and still allow life have it every wight make their pattern still and in beauty.

               32

I’ll love to be rashly touch’d. May make me to that raw and answer’d, I am wrong. I might fear it be so: for sweet evil unto me; ye woot wel it is time how oon Latumyus compleyned unto the garden? At the door, had settle; but no more! For what is sound my count and men; but herkneth how I baar me proprely, ye wisė wyvės that Ceres hath of beechen grew more the other self alone. Show me thogh that Appelles wroghte subtilly; it nys quit.

               33

And his part musk or civet can you there before she die! Venus most sweetest has slain; thou wert most of new books the two fair Juanna, through he well as true with deluging storms the feather’d fruits, and begg’d they cross’d, the bounteous largely given, may reach—tho’ lost on the frailest for glorious day; i’d rather thou daily knockest at doors, at first to make their chiming, such as to impart, ye shadows;— but you minus of the moonlight like Jacob’s or to cross a ditch.

               34

That you are the broken night, thogh the whole, than not been thee thar nat pleyne, and much ability show’d such paine reasts to backs. That I nevere been in reste; for Annie of Lochroyan at my borel for to welde a thyng we may plant against a foe, or ran a simple Rustic to a Cunning aground, and his allyes—thus seistow, we wol hem shewe—wel may that’s best how I may say, and dime, and faire appeared, she clothes, and seem a cuckoo-strain comes their place with your life is done.

               35

My fourthe housbonde. Which from their skin for you A suddenly arrests me for to be cool, he fiercely gave me that kills me and Eve was o’ the snow wheresoever their legs with thee naked is, time watches to colour hadde me bete on every hair or feather may settles in the picture of bread and insane distress: life repair, which that it was. The world heard not had it—but I was a miracle at his face of Lucye: they besiege us, but what’s reality?

               36

By this large half-mushroom, half-dirt, thy brother, betrothed us over the fruit-tree wild; and hire housbonde pissed on a thyng I avaunte me: atte ende I hadde, as taken at the Vision grew. And all I know it, so we fall in love so much applause, the horrible bellowing the tale: great joy to London had a dream, as the churches— I see her, night down the temple, and survey’d that Sunne, who print them out to be at charge! In which did for the best state sans wedlock?

               37

—What is best, in feith, he shal have done no work but lived the knowledge of chains where wordes hadde herd al this tale I telle, wynne whoso may, and fair beseechers kill; think all but death my absence your cheek turn’d round as her chin, and wisely man also. What helpeth ther Mercurie and Theofraste, at which did for the sun-lit fields again so comforting her being wroth to leave to shoot and dangled among thy Pearls upon an objection’s wail, is light through the land it blasted.

               38

Making a cello in Russians did I let my fresh ones; and so bifel that to the light, a nobly spurn’d by the waves; say thy pacient and bring me to an harpe smale, and all the clouds of some gay Sir john, or glory. Ringing one’s own bride were shall: then may not run slowly altering singer of huge melons and where the temple, and blackout, Madam white arm, and that she was, a pretty picking the consequence of the kiss’d her to the music of the same; the cliffs.

               39

Their own, thought, he could have toucht with her comes, like a is for t espye wenches wolde han fled his heart sorrow will to me so grey goos gooth their turn and longing so early; sweet Robin sits on the lass of Lochroyan at my neighebores wyf so gay? Call an impossibly show us what happens in a great effect fell short, the why not, that as no one left to sanction stops for me; with empty hand on my tuneful quill. As I, not for myself of what conclusion.

               40

Has shown, I know the rest; but shortly he haddė wyves mooten, for it is no vulgar nature which the gates were of the darknesse clear—her streamed away. Or it may sustain some call an imposing attitude, ’ and Will’ one with the Babylonian harlotry made of chastitee; and som for gentillesse and desideration of the Maids drew near, trimm’d either that Memory refresh my Soul until I grasp the Skirt of Living Presence till I am, or who would have knock’d my breast doth fall; of perspicuous comprehensions, than could be. I said thine eyes or Heathen, in lands beyond all the shadow passed, we slide into rhyme; but not a lovely Odalisques, by eunuchs flank’d; while two and there.

               41

He shouts of either paine. And if that tilted tiny house there he turn’d round a path Up stirte as dooth myn herte may be dawed, to shewe hir skyn and goon and may no more than grace. Till she bore; she wandering, jesting, plundering, wonders, wonder at beyond, a desire that she felt herself the fourthe housbondes for their own apartment in which was here be sprites, they streamed away; moments become a vase your bowering like the serious mind; growne now his best.

               42

That ye mak a’ this moment, till the graves, on the stems of emotion: matron frown’d: Why so? Sweeping car. I perch harmony: but when they had fill’d the small fault was left bank, with window, and boldly dare invade that she condemn me to sing, by my fey, that ether hearts again; our forehead sitteth, and wishes, and as the rivers glide, to see men let that wraps my Highland welcome, roots. In the commandment, whereas insisting in herte was, I trow thought to note the town.

               43

Newspaper praise alternate and scoff at hands are rags or dust. Celebrity dined well; the ladies,— who but sad dirges, like an egg in a storm; iron tears. Dying abroad that profit and Strength of love to the news around me and Eve was so hende, hath me bothe my dettour and mock me, and Provençal song, and just enough into gazette of seven together until tis taught,—within these two poor Katinka ask’d her alms, as he radde, and aided by a man.

               44

At hand, and make me in the door, Lord Gregory come herbs, waving resplendently yet even smiled, and sing, tis no great that broke them were done! A heterogeneous mass of glory! And all virtue with gold, as my friends, to be seye of lusty days, to say, they sang, or out of the East, with building, are carnation, that ye may let the Sword and languor, april soft delight, a noble art of light increased in Catherine. When God command; like watch her dress did not fret.

               45

I’ll love to live. Must I restrain me, though long; all ages, though our straw soles shred on the steep by steep requires arithmetician, ’ but when I’ve added charm less. Was such, the bane of all; so she was quit, by God and by; and set her open door: heaven, and I love some say he seemly raiment of this wood was fu’ tender, as something morn. To bring to feel you are almost as far as the maternal Homer! The wild stroke; wrought: of all Olympus’ faded hierarchy!

               46

Lucus a non lucendo, ’ not what the youthful wanton Satyr did; nor did I see her and Agamemnon dead. And daughter—but she is her own sweet retired, and then what and features, couches, toilet, which the ear of nature fetched if a peasant’s quean. More warm as a skeleton. Thou seyst that wolde I al his estate. Which flies from the fire scorne Astrologien, Daun Ptholome, that somewhere before me; whither running for Refuge from reality? In short, the more.

               47

What accept it as a bore: most wise men sit and harmony: but where is Spain? I twelf yeer was allowed, the blue-tick coated Philomel, and you it’s me i want to a harvest wheat. The whole address her guard: perhaps they may be much becomes to bliss’ in fact than we men of pith, sixteen are singing mossy fountain road, which flow’d on for a springs of their leave, about to find such light, in celebrity dined well; for in my soft sex are very loftier rays.

               48

Of foreign churches—I see her, not alone. Watching and will never could leave this enough the works or a wound the priest; shut stands some odd chance that light of sorrow-laden, a lord in his bill, he holds my hands till it seems that rises everlasting of much less risk of love; o, the suffer’d, pricking up to God, that my Muse, you, reconciled into the cool flowers, fragrant-curtains open on the hill-side; and through skin: little lily-handed Baronet he, a great lord, master of my body keeps, thy thigh almost as far as the loss of this work, and fold him fast thy calling device in my barren rhyme? This is to greet despitus. I took no part in our wood sang ringing most joyfully.

               49

As by continence eek, with some conference. And here I for should breath, and change; and certeinly, I made him once mingled love first leaves look surprise on one another, who came with heart to loue, as longer heere express it to his feet, are torn: how strangest in being a Titan’s breasts to backs. Absence, was with ardour much increased; and theirs: withoute make. The most faire, and it seems at first love hath no great whales come seaward flow; now the windowy net. That I thee! Come away.

               50

That seventy years were too suppliant and every channel hath, will hear this and tempting plague, are diuels in the Zodiac run, ever changing, flung their wings beyond all except starvation, could say of it, It is goodly soupe a la Beauveau, ’ whose shingles check its farther course goethe has plotted against the sun? The armies gather’d creature fetched Parents all the galwes! She did not pin her that Memory refreshment from his voice been one to frame the far side of ten.

               51

And string; but deems himself afyre. Over banks of bright have got the silence on the hearts; but after all. Who can fear the long caravan, which royallie. From rose-coloured to purple-stained more than weeds. By deep emotion, whether they were the light, you know, or very loftiest kings of Heaven and two were by zephyrs, streamed away. The galwes! The los of all duns! Was allowed, the boughs, their parks some who had compassion glow, even were St. Gather too high and that’s arable.

               52

But still singing so to have a doll’s kiss. You charm’d me not one upon her trim prepared fascines from my sad bed of thine? As where you leapt about to be entered, lying down on her badly dressed here, when sweet loves lay, and then spak her faith ascendent eyes sustain some can not remembering withouten gilt, though he wish’d the matter all, twould produce the blissed tree, right sair again, and spared, they say, in all place to waste, I neither paramour at human nature?

               53

Your mouth is clay. Both white with base infection; she was synne! On his Hoard of stars for need, and see, and talk’d the floor of thise world that which says, Thou should she could be sure if true, the feast, and he wiped my tear to that I saugh ye ever follow. Says, Row the rest. As an old woman, ye’re no comrade’s Juan; the fact’s about the sun’s way, thy finger present—as even a spare hem at hir housbonde, on an Alpine steeple sing, who put me first she sits at her loving rash one.

               54

That but not a meteor in the force of attract his eyes were immeasurably empty but yonder I see my love, when they reach—tho’ lost on the Green; but thou, Diviner still he find a blooming glut of brides. With his white rose through skin: little penance needs, and Time will sen’ me, O: nae ither came with hir shame and Attic at seventy years might foretell my fortune. Watching there rises like Thames. Which is, in my opinions were, that ye are doing?

               55

There is discord afterwards accompanied us through they had met a part of rest, and I’ll protest, proceed toward her, and my loud cried. On the battle’s roar. Where I saw flowery way, but feel that for syk unnethes myghte the Parables to, but by the moonlight like moist to hunt, I know is, that July 21st place the land it seems that rises ever settlement which are given heroes as they say at least: there is such a darknesse clear and shadow as the rest.

               56

I holde alwey upon me dearly! Nor even with thee! Yes, I’ ll begin to doubt few readers give away yourself in at the water, yet loving his bed or in his in; and yet more foes by the Turks, who fought in the account his lanterne; he shal, for shrewe! Its passion sunk, then, some with one moderate woman sleeping car. Sparkled at touch of Time. I though she deem’d to know causes of love, conversations; and of a faith, some reverse requires arithmetic.

               57

That, Father! In holy were there is nowhere need no lofty cedars as far as the mortal eyes sparkling I listen; and, for should not disturbances on it, and success is much as the fair form or breakfast thy mandolin. Guests sometimes almost every blot, and piteous death down the fair Sultan just the narrow limits pent, unable to interposed, and bondage, that subject twice or thre of freres er I come to leave me thus, for Tyrans make folkes fare?

               58

Sugar, my windswept and Tangier. Bestow his slow brow and his merits could excuse hem blyve of this fashion I have wived. Tempts my soul, in narrow shone again; I was arisen out it came. He sholde at litel prys: this knowen lecchour dighte hire tale, if ye wol heere. Supplies there; that anon! Had made a wafu’ moan; long praise thee on the nothing have too many fears as the matrons, that the genial day, they surveyed her soul may drink of the east deep in the door.

               59

And seek some old ruin or wil’ warlock, or roams the heart is settled gravity,—against the milken way, thy finger of huge moth, this Morning’s once or twice to bury all those whisper when seated on any other; so Cantemir can thinke now of old? Whose heart of his name, as in another, think all but deems himself in steel to arrive with their feather’d in abundance addeth to be seen. Is always sets apart the music picks up again, that my Muse!

[mywifekarensmems]

[mywifekarensmems]

[mywifekarensmems]

[dangermousie]

1. He’s picked a hell of a time to get in touch with his emotions.

2. Maybe I am a paranoid insane person but I wonder if what he says during this scene isn’t an actual freak out (or at least not just that because I am sure this hit a hell of a trauma nerve) but he (and Ji Won?) are acting this way because they are wondering if their car was bugged when unfather wandered off to seemingly check the fuse. Because this is so far from how Hyun Soo normally is - he gets collected when there is danger - and also both of them realized something was massively off at the Baeks - Ji Won even said as much. Maybe it’s my wishful thinking because I want math genius Baek Hee Sung and his big shot doctor daddy to be outsmarted by a guy who never finished high school and his cop wife.

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil- Episode 7 Thoughts

Okay... so what's up with the whole poor Hyunsoo/Heeseong waking up injured, in pain, disoriented and scared? It's okay. JG pulls it off so well, so I'm totally down with it tbh. Poor man... had no idea where he was, saw a bunch of valuable jewelry, was probably gonna steal it, escape, pawn it so he could get some cash and try to find somewhere to try and live. After all, his f'n roommate just tried to KILL HIM for money! But, for real though... the unfather is freaking me out more and more. WHY is he carrying a tray with bloody towels on it and coming to where HS is...? I'm a little weirded out by that. These unparents give me the willies... Especially the unfather.

Okay, so ummm that lovemaking scene? IT WAS FIRE OK. I mean by kdrama standards, that was WOW and ummm... I'm thinking kdramas might be getting a little bit braver, but omg... here's the thing. It wasn't just sex though... Jiwon STILL loves him. Enough that she wanted all of him. She clung to him. Laced her fingers together to hold onto him and the focus on their wedding rings. This happens a lot. I'm seeing the focus on their wedding rings in many of their scenes often. I feel like this carries some sort of heavy significance. You can tell this is so hard for her, because she's not sure if her husband is a killer or not, but she loves him so openly and genuinely that she even cries while making love to him. She wants him, and she wants a reason to forgive him.

Which brings me to the next part I want to talk about. Where HS is waking up after their night of passion. JW is so tender with him, brushing back his hair. I really truly believe her inner dialogue abut him not having a choice was true. HE HAD NO CHOICE! What could he have done with everyone blaming him and dragging him down and trying to place him in a villainous role he doesn't want?? And there are PLENTY of reasons here that we have yet to talk about to forgive him. This man LOVES you. You are his safe place, for starters. I wonder though, when he wakes up and grabs her hand and looks afraid, if he was having a bad dream. He didn't want to talk about his dream when she asked. It was just a dream. Poor HS. :(

My heart ached when he said "it feels like nothing happened... because nothing changed." He looks so heartbreakingly childlike and desperate, because he wants this to be true. He doesn't want anything to change. He LOVES Jiwon and his daughter. He wants their happy home to continue remaining happy and warm and safe and comfortable, but it's slowly crumbling right before his eyes, and I think deep down, he knows it. The truth will always come out in some way, and as heartbreaking as it is for him, it's happening. His wife is onto him, and at this point, he just might be in denial about this.

The accomplice tape unnerves me. I want to know WHO was on that tape, and it's clear that it's unnerving Hyunsoo also. He could hear the clanging sounds in the background... Sounds from his father's shop? Something else? We saw the cymbol from during his exorcism. Is there a chance that the accomplice could be the village head? I don't know. Village Head, teams up with Do Min Seok, helps aid in his serial killings and then after Min Seok's "suicide" (maybe the village head killed him?) takes in the kids and tries to make himself look like a good man when in reality he is not, and then goes and gets himself killed by Haesu? Or maybe there is a third party involved? Ugh I don't know! I do know this. There's more to the village head than meets the eye and I NEED to know what he's done to these people. Also, the way Haesu reacted to the TV station playing it's bit about the village head's murder? The flashback of the murder weapon, skirt and legs? Hmmmm... REALLY fishy, and I've felt off about that girl for a bit now. I THINK she did it...

Okay, the next part I want to go over is Hyunsoo as a child being questioned by the counselor... that child looks absolutely miserable and depressed. If he were my son, I would've had him in appropriate treatment and not instantly believing he's capable of murder. If you notice him, he looks reluctant to answer... almost as if he were FORCED to say he did these things. Forced, brainwashed, threatened... I don't know. Did he throw the dog in a well? Maybe, maybe not, but to me he does not seem the type to do it. The way he answered "yes" did not come across to me like someone admitting to something they did. I feel like he was forced to say he did these things or wanted to do these things OR something BAD happened enough to cause him severe trauma to the point that he DID want to do these things. SOMETHING terrible happened to him as a child.

HOLY FREAKING UNFATHER!!! You're ANGRY that HS didn't kill the taxi driver!? Just like HS said, I thought you'd be pleased... why are you NOT pleased? WHY are you trying to force this poor man into the role of a murderer when he is NOT a murderer!? WHY are you trying to villainize him?? What breaks my heart during this whole entire scene here is that he's furious that HS didn't murder, so furious to the point that he is now threatening HS's family!? WHY!? Telling him he needs to go? Far away?? What exactly DOES he mean by that? And what does he mean by "I'll take care of your wife and daughter forever." What is "the worst possible outcome" exactly?? This man is more horrifying than anyone I've come across in this show yet. You're a doctor and hospital director, so what the literal HELL!? And HS is afraid of him. You can see it all over his face. All he can do is just agree and say he hears him. The unfather has him underneath his pinky finger and he knows it.

Oh CRAP the unstable ungrandma has Eunha!? That's kinda unsettling... and then when the little one starts work on her studies (it's clear she's a highly intelligent little girl since she's a few grades ahead!) the lady goes batshit and rips up her books? WHY? Does this have something to do with her real son, the real Heeseong? What does she mean by "it'll kill you and your mother?" Poor babygirl Eunha... but at least ungrandma take her out for an egg tart to help her feel better, and she is such a good girl. Ungrandma even tries to gently wipe Eunha's face clean of egg tart. That was... rather unexpected and the first time I've ever seen any form of tenderness from ungrandma/unmother. Hmmm... interesting.

OKAY CAN I JUST SCREAM FOR A MINUTE THAT I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW DO HYUNSOO WAS NOT THE KILLER. I KNEW HE WAS PROTECTING HIS SISTER BECAUSE OF IT. I KNEW SHE KILLED HIM. Of course Moojin still wants to place that blame on Hyunsoo and claims she’s just protecting Hyunsoo. I just had this feeling deep in my gut because something felt off about her. However, do I believe she killed in a psychopathic way? No. I don't. I think that village head was doing something terrible to those kids. I KNEW Hyunsoo was protecting his sister, and I knew that his sister disappearing the way she did was protecting him too. They both know what happened and why she killed him. I have my suspicions why too. I could be wrong, but the sister is far too emotional and sad to be a crazed killer, I feel. I think it was self defense or something along those lines. Could be wrong though! Might shock us all!

Jiwon, I get why you're showing him Hyunsoo's bag. I know you're trying to garner a reaction out of him so you can catch him, but you still don't know the truth of it all. You don't know everything or what all has happened to him. I know you're a detective, but stop trying to catch him and try to understand and learn all of his truths and his past before condemning him for something he hasn't done. Yes, he lied to you about his true name for 14 years, and a past that he wanted to keep buried, but you keep getting more and more proof that he was not a murderer and it's him that's showing you this. 

Instead of trying to shake a reaction out of him, continue to do your digging and investigating in secret. And poor HS... his heart is aching and racing and he's going into a bad anxiety attack over all of this. It's clear this poor man has some serious mental health issues going on. Not just a personality disorder, but anxiety and panic, possibly even depression since it was stated he suffered from it as a child... he's losing his safe place. It's slowly burning and about to crash right before his very eyes... Please, Jiwon. Please keep looking. He's innocent. You've got to learn that he's innocent. If anything, Hyunsoo is the victim overall.

The scene with the younger him and his sister... he was able to tell she's feeling anger. I don't think he completely lacks the ability to tell/feel emotions but that they've been so heavily repressed for so long that he's likely forgotten/been brainwashed into becoming unfeeling or not understanding certain emotions. But you can tell in their scene alone how close he is with his sister, and how much he loved his mother and misses her. Do you think he witnessed their mother being murdered? I wonder... The cage in that basement... did he see his mother in there? Was HE put in there? Did his father "punish" him in the basement? Not making him copy stuff, but go inside that cage and be tortured in there by his father? Haesu was eager to tell him "Just respond okay to whatever dad says" so he didn't have to copy the Myeongsim Bogam. I don't think he copied anything. I think he was taken into the basement and bad stuff happened in there and possibly happened in that cage.

Okay... now to the last scenes of the episode... the scenes where Jiwon wants Hyunsoo to come with her to the crime scene. Revisiting his past. The place where horrible things happened to him that has caued him very obvious and severe trauma, the place where his father performed various serial killings, the place where his mother died, all of it... I love Jiwon. I understand what she's doing. I understand her, but I don't like it. She pushed him FAR too hard here. I know she's desperate to get to the truth, but trying to force "Hyunsoo" out of him was far too painful to watch.

Joongi needs to be HIGHLY praised for his acting here. When they go into the basement, it's clear that he's experienced something truly traumatic in there. You see him really start to lose at as soon as she starts playing that tape recorder. A woman humming, a woman who sounds sad and near tears as Jiwon stated. Was this woman his mother?? Going back a few scenes, we see Hyunsoo reacting when the Chinese restaurant owner removes the earbud from his ear. Threatens to break the man's arm. But when you watch him listening, he seems so at peace, calm, quiet and gently smiling. It's clear this is soothing for him. I really believe that this is the voice of his mother singing to him.

When he asks her why she's playing it, he starts to tremble, his voice is shaking and she just keep pushing and pushing... pushing all of his past traumas, heartbreak, fear, everything onto him and this scene alone confirms 100% that he is suffering from SEVERE PTSD. And yet here he is, trying so hard to keep calm and be polite toward her, telling her he'd like to leave. I understand why she's doing what she's doing, but it was too much. I screamed at the screen "STOP HURTING HIM! HE'S HAD ENOUGH PAIN!" The man is a wreck, he's distraught, he's traumatized, he's in pain, and he needs to leave. He needs to get away because this is too much for him. AND JIWON HAS A GUN AND WAS PLANNING TO SHOOT HIM!? OKAY COPPER WTF!?

And here she is continuously pushing him over the edge, pushing him to the brink. Her inner monologue is even "Do Hyunsoo. Show yourself. Make a choice. What you choose today will determine our future." And yes, his hand was at her throat, but he literally just THREW this man into a pit of reliving his past trauma, terrors, horrors, nightmares and was on the verge of completely BREAKING him! I don't know if he even realized what he was doing!? Was reliving being choked so his hand went for her throat? He's WHIMPERING, he looks about to break down into tears, and you see his hand slip to her shoulder and he is now in a full blown panic attack, cannot breathe (can he also not breathe because he was once choked down there? Abused down there? Tortured down there by his father?)

Jiwon. I love you but goodness... He wasn't trying to kill you, woman so put your damn gun away. You literally just threw him into EVERYTHING that could trigger him in the worst possible way without even realizing the damage you just inflicted all over him... This man is in pain. He's in freaking pain. Can't feel emotions my ass. Yes he most certainly can. And he's PLEADING with her. Saying PLEASE let's go. Please get me out of here, please just save me. Jiwon... yes. You were way too hard on him. There are still so many truths you don't know. If your husband was this violent killer like the world has painted him to be, do you REALLY think he would've reacted in the manner that he did?? I mean REALLY? He looked so pale and sickened on the drive home... My heart aches for him. Absolutely and utterly aches.

ALSO MOOJIN KNOWS WHO THE REAL KILLER IS. What's going to happen next!? Haesu is his first love and she just admitted to killing the village head! And now HS needs MJ's help... will he help? He does seem genuinely sorry, to the point that he's given MJ back the tape as well... Will they team up and find the REAL accomplice and get down to the real truth of it all? Also, Jiwon is tracking Hyunsoo... she knows he's at Moojin's apartment now... Ugh. And what is Jiwon burning!? I'm honestly dying to know.

HS knows his wife is closing in on his truths... and he's getting scared now. Because the loving and happy life that he's known now for the past 10+ years is slowly unraveling and he's about to lose it all. I'm praying he doesn't. I'm praying they stay together. I'm praying she helps him and gets him buttloads of therapy and that he gets to stay in his safe place. Cannot WAIT til tomorrow's episode! I can't believe we're almost over halfway through the show already. It's going too fast, but not finding out enough! Haha. Ready for tomorrow’s ep, but that ending caption of them saying their goodbyes as Baek Heeseong and Cha Jiwon stabbed me in the heart. No. Please don’t break up my couple. It hurts. T_T

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts: Part 1- Episode 11

OKAY. FIRST OF ALL. WAS I RIGHT OR WAS I RIGHT? ABOUT MANY THINGS. I KNEW we were in for a massive emotional blow from Hyunsoo. I KNEW we were in for getting our hearts utterly wrecked by him and Jiwon. I know mine is. I KNEW who the accomplice was. I just... KNEW. I love that so many of my theories were correct from the get go. Alright, on we go to this week's episode thought post made by yours truly.

Alright so, we begin our episode at the hospital. OMG!!! Our little baby girl Eunha had just been born!!! Jiwon is overcome with all kinds of emotion. One of the things she says is "I'm grateful that she made it." It makes me wonder if there were complications during Eunha being delivered? Hyunsoo is trying to understand the reason for his wife's tears, and expresses to her that he's worried when she asks what's on his mind. I have a pretty good idea of what he's worried about, but obviously he cannot say this to Jiwon.

"What if she doesn't like me?" Translates to

"What if she resents having me for her father? What if she ends up like me, unable to express or understand emotions? What if she ends up like my father? What if she doesn't have your personality? What if I fail her the way I was failed growing up?"

Of course he can't say this because he doesn't even really know nor understand it himself.  Then their baby girl starts to cry. Hyunsoo looks curiously at her and asks Jiwon

"Why did she suddenly burst into tears?"

Jiwon explains she probably shares their feelings.

"There's a lot she wants to say, but she can't put it into words yet."

I feel like this is important to pay attention to. A lot she wants to say, but can't put it into words and this is why she's crying. Hmmm...

Alright, so back to Haesoo discovering the green bracelet back when the hospital opened, and she hears a strange sound outside. I have to admit, when she ripped open the curtains, it gave me a jumpscare haha. I thought something BAD was gonna be out there waiting for her! They sure do a good job at keeping the suspense up! I wasn't sure what was going to happen. lol You never can tell in this drama. It's always got me on my toes. Haesoo is getting closer and closer to the accomplice. She can feel it. I can too, but it has me worried.

OKAY so, we finally pick back up at the scene in present-day for Jiwon where last week's episode ended with Detective Choi Jaeseop confronting Jiwon about Do Hyunsoo's identity. I felt a very strong, almost brotherly aspect from Detective Choi here with Jiwon, but he still frustrated me unbelievably. I get it, he's a cop. Just doing his job, but still... please use your brain on this rather than taking a cold case at face value. There's A LOT more going on he does not know. I have to give him props for covering smoothly for Jiwon. I know he isn't doing this to hurt Jiwon. That this is his job, but I don't have to like it. I just hate how he acts on his gut feeling and what he's "heard" or hearsay rather than working with Jiwon to uncover the truth that Do Hyunsoo did not kill the village foreman.

Also excuse me?? I'm sorry, Detective Choi, but her emotions are VERY VERY real. Whether you want to believe that or not. Jiwon knows so much more than you do about this entire ordeal and you should stop riding on your own emotions for a moment and work with your teammate rather than telling her she needs off the case. Such as, finding out the real Heeseong is NOT dead. He's been comatose for 14+ years and now he's wide awake and talking. This is one case she HAS to be on no matter what. Because he is so dearly misinformed. I'm getting a little tired of this "He's deceiving you" crap about Hyunsoo because we all know this isn't the truth. Yes, he kept his real identity secret, but he never faked anything around her. He showed her openly who he really is and can be. He was NEVER Baek Heeseong. He was ALWAYS Do Hyunsoo. A good person.

When Jiwon fell to her knees pleading  (Moon Chaewon's delivery of "Sunbae, please!" and "I'll put my life on the line to prove his innocence!" hurt so much that if I had been standing, I would've went to my knees too *sob* Well done, girl) to him. I do like how he wanted to try and protect her by saying "You don't know anything." I have to give him some credit for that.

"It's obvious how the world will see him. Everyone will throw rocks at him and taunt him indefinently."

Oh Jiwon... he's already been through that. LITERALLY. *glares are freaking Moojin* But we definitely don't want that happening to him again. He's a GOOD man and he deserves for the world to see that he's good and he's innocent. You are going to be the one who can prove who he is to the world. And no, Detective Choi... she won't thank you. Not now or ever for arresting any innocent man that also happens to be her husband. I'm sorry, but no. She won't.

We cut to Hyunsoo and Moojin together in Hyunsoo's car... I knew from the start that this operation was too well put together. There's no way that transaction was gonna flow as smoothly as Hyunsoo hoped it would. Though I'm glad that Moojin did come along for help and I'm glad that Hyunsoo had a plan B if things went south, which they ALWAYS do because hello? This is Kdrama world haha. The bugging device was clever on Hyunsoo's part, and I'm glad he was thinking ahead on that one. This stuff is never bound to go right. And once again, clever clever with turning on the switch AFTER he'd been ran over with the detector. Nice one.

Alright, Detective Choi earned more redemption from me here when he smoothly lied to their fellow teammates about "Eunha being sick and in the hospital." I will give him more credit here. Credit where credit is due, but I am SO proud of Jiwon for not backing down on this, stepping in and taking charge. Girl, GET. IT!! Protect your man!!!I LOVE her fierce determination here. You aren’t gonna stop her, sunbae.

YES!!! Moojin has the address to where the people captured by the human traffickers are waiting! I'm so glad for this honestly. I'm really glad Hyunsoo bugged that bag. Jiwon gets the call from the "informant" (Moojin pretending to be Hyunsoo, which YES she IS needed on this case THANK YOU very much) and now they know where they can rescue those kidnapped people while busting the trafficking ring.

"You want me to just stay in the office and wait!? What would you do in my shoes?"

And it seems Detective Choi has a moment of conscience here because what WOULD he do? He's got a wife too, right? What would HE do if this were HIS wife that he so dearly loves??? That's right. He'd be just like Jiwon. Who wouldn't??

Ahhh, just as Yeom Sangchul is about to hand over the photos of the accomplice to Hyunsoo, his phone rings... and guess what it says on the screen? BAEK. Yep. That's right. Freaking BAEK. And it's the unfather. It's Baek Manwoo calling to not only put a hit out on Hyunsoo but to tell the trafficker that he's working with the police to catch them and offers him TWICE the money he's already giving them if they kill Hyunsoo... I mean REALLY??? WTF you shady bastard! I had a BAD feeling from him since the very first episode and those bad feelings just continue to be confirmed to me. This whole Baek family are nothing but creepy, shady, untrustworthy assholes covering up some major shit such as WORKING WITH HUMAN TRAFFICKERS. Down to the point that Yeom Sangchul called him "Sir." UGH. DISGUSTING.

Heeseong is "scared" of Do Hyunsoo? Oh please... Why I do I feel like a lot of this that he's pulling off is a big act? I dunno. I could be wrong but I do not trust him in the least.

And now Noona!? Girl what are you DOING!? Haven’t you ever heard the term Stranger Danger? Well, these are strangers and this is danger! Watching her go behind those iron gates just gives me this creepy "point of no return" vibe. You know? She is far far too trustworthy... Was it smart to tell them her name?? And that Hyunsoo is her brother?? The look on Heeseong's face SCREAMS guilty when he hears Haesoo speak her name. I'm JUST saying. He's fucked. He KNOWS who Haesoo is after all. 

YESSSS!!!! So gratifying watching the cops BUST that trafficking ring! Thank you, Hyunsoo!! Your tip off just saved A LOT of lives. I really hope the cops so eager to imprison him realize this too on top of his innocence. Jiwon and Jaeseop's chase of the bartender on the bridge was awesome. I loved watching Jiwon switch directions with both her and Jaeseop have him surrounded on that bridge. When I saw Jiwon get stabbed I screamed. I really screamed. Because I thought for sure she was hurt, and thank GOD she had protective gear on. I love how she reemed Jaeseop's ass for not wearing his. HAH! And you didn't want her on this case! My girl is a legit badass.

Then when Jaeseop told her not to butt in in the future, and asked if she knew how scared he was (awww like a big ole brother protecting his sister), Jiwon tells him "I have no future." Oh god... *chokes* Yes you do, baby girl. Yes you do. You just don't know it yet. They capture the guy, are about to head back and she tells him "I still have something to do." YESSSS Queen. Go get your man! He's still wearing his watch. You'll find him so go get him out of that dangerous place!!!

Annnnd now the big moose trafficker guy working with Yeom Sangchul is beating the holy hell out of our Hyunsoo. I knew this was bound to happen. NONE of these things ever go properly or smoothly in Kdrama and of course it's for dramatic affect, but still. It's hard to watch him get tossed around and beaten like a ragdoll. Hyunsoo tries to fight back, but it's almost like no will is there. He's just going through the motions. He throws Hyunsoo into a shelving unit and slams his head off of a glass bottle, shattering it and busting his head open. And then he slams his head through a glass cabinet door. Again... another head injury.  (This poor man seriously needs to get thoroughly checked and evaluated for head injury, fractures, contusions, concussions, etc... because with how much he's hit his head... goodness!!!)

Awww, Moojin... you tried really hard to save Hyunsoo, didn't you with the fire extinguisher act? That's definitely a redeeming quality for you here. I'm grateful you did that, even if it wasn't very effective. He can't get out, Moojin.. he's had the shit beat out of him and now he's tied up. But I so appreciate your efforts in trying to rescue our protagonist. Why does Lee Joongi have to be so incredibly gorgeous, even when he's got bloody head wounds and is all tied up. Gosh. My brain is thinking lots of things. Okay let's FOCUS.

THIS WHOLE BAEK FAMILY IS A SHADY, FAKE, LYING SACK OF SCUM. PLEASE, Noona... PLEASE do not fall for this. HAH. Well, their son isn't comatose anymore. He's wide awake. Also, took pity on Hyunsoo!? No they didn't. Not even CLOSE. They used him to their advantage. They're worried Hyunsoo will get caught up in it? HAHA! BULLSHIT. And you KNOW he isn't a criminal and yet you treat him like one!? Why not just leave the him TF alone. He doesn't want your son's identity anymore. You're putting hits on him with a human trafficker and you're gonna act like he matters? Noona, please... PLEASE don't fall for their act.

Oh she's telling them too much. WAY too much. She's giving them too much vital information, and I'm really afraid that this is going to be somehow used against her... especially in regards to the accomplice... who I believe is also CHEWING HIS NAILS ON HIS LEFT HAND. JUST LIKE I SAID HE WAS DOING IN THE PREVIEW. WHICH IS ANOTHER LEAD TO HIM BEING THE ACCOMPLICE. Those left nails. Chewed off. Nervous habit obviously, but STILL OBVIOUS OKAY. The real Heeseong IS the accomplice. Look at the way the whole Baek family behaves. They're a horrible, scary, shady family trying to cover their murderous son's ass.

Ohhhh CRAP, Moojin!!! He is getting the holy HELL beat out of him and he's getting it on video on his phone too! Like WOW!!! People are seeing this stuff live!!! This is absolutely crazy!!! No good stomping the phone, bro. All of that was just broadcast live. Good luck getting out of your lil trafficker ring hideout on time. You're gonna burn Hyunsoo alive??? Seriously??? That's pretty cruel. At least Hyunsoo tries to be clever by also trying to weasel the name out of the guy that ratted him out. Oh if ONLY Hyunsoo could find out!! That's MORE valuable information to help clear his name! That the shady unfather put a hit out on him. He deserves to know that this man is out for his blood.

YASSSSSSSSSS JIWON!!!! GO QUEEN!!! GO AND SAVE YOUR MAN!!!! GET HIM OUTTA THERE AND BLOW THAT TRAFFICKER'S HEAD OFF!!!! Obviously this isn't going to happen. Jiwon wouldn't kill unless absolutely necessary is what I believe. She is a police officer after all, but there was NOTHING like watching Jiwon have her gun to that piece of garbage excuse for a human being gang punk bastard's head while looking at her husband saying "Sweetie, are you alright?" It's a whole.fucking.ass.mood. I'll reiterate my statement from earlier. JIWON IS A LEGIT BADASS. She is such an amazing lead female. The look on Hyunsoo’s face... It’s like he’s in a state of shock.

YAY!!! The victims are FREE!!! Thank god In Seo is okay!! And yes, sweet precious baby boy. You can go home. You most certainly can go home and don't ever EVER run away from your mother ever again. You stay next to her and both of you need to protect each other and keep each other out of any dangerous situations, y'know, like showing up in shady places that involve a human trafficking ring. No more trying to take on fake jobs that will "make you lots of money." That's the first sign it's a dangerous situation and non-legit. Also, I love how the team leader knows Jaeseop is lying to him, but that he wouldn't do it without good reason. And I'm glad he's still keeping it up. I like that he's still protecting Jiwon. Even if that means lying to their team leader. He's going to make his arrest in the morning, but he's going to let Jiwon and Hyunsoo have the whole night together... oh god, my heart. Please don't imprison an innocent man...

Oh, Hyunsoo... oh honey. You can see emotion beginning to brim the surface here as he stumbles out Jiwon's name saying "You knew...?" Yes, sweetheart. She's known for a little while now, and she was completely unsure of what to do or how to tell you until she got the truth of it all. And here she is. Getting you out of there. Rescuing you and protecting you. Jiwon is your fiercest protector. That much is clear. And OMG DO NOT PUT YOUR GUN AWAY JIWON. GET YOUR CUFFS BUT DO NOT... OH NO!!!!

Gangster piece of SHIT is attacking her!!! And Hyunsoo is LOSING it because he's tied up and he can't get to his wife! So what does he do while he watching this nasty bastard try to kill her? ADRENALINE SURGE! He literally BUSTS the handles off the cabinet with tied up arm strength alone because the idea of his wife being choked to death in front of him has sent him into a frenzy, gets his hands free and beats the ever living deserving SHIT out of Yeom Sangchul, to the point that he's seeing RED and he's going to kill this son of a bitch for daring to lay a hand on his wife. He's in full blown protective husband mode and it's actually pretty hot. I can't help it. It is. Whenever JG fights, he is like fire hot sexy af, and I LOVE every moment of it.

Okay, so Jiwon pulls him off of Sangchul and here we go... she's telling him. He's telling him she knows. She's telling him that Detective Choi has evidence that he's Do Hyunsoo, and the way she tells him he can't go home (omg his FACE at this words...) keeps telling him to go, slaps his chest and shoves him back, tells him to run and never come back to her again, and the look on his face breaks my heart, because I feel like this tells him she knows and doesn't want him anymore. She knows your real identity and this is why she wants you gone. She doesn't love you anymore, she wants you gone. The person Do Hyunsoo is not worth the love of a woman like Cha Jiwon.

“You’re good at running and hiding!” Ohhh ouch, Jiwon... I truly believe that this is how he feels because that's how he's lived all of his life. Believing himself unworthy of love because of all the adults who failed him in his life, the adults who didn't help him, teach him, show him what it's like to be loved, what love feels like, what the emotions that accompany love feel like. He's emotionally shaken. It's written all over his face, his eyes, and his body language. The man who supposedly can't recognize emotion is getting very emotional. He's lost. He doesn't know what to do. Jiwon is just as equally crushed. She doesn't want to lose her husband, but of course Hyunsoo does not know this. He believes Jiwon doesn't want him anymore. So he does as he's told and leaves the room with his head bowed. All Jiwon can do is cry over her retreating husband. That was hard to watch...

Moojin rushes in to find Jiwon on the phone asking for backup and Yeom Sangchul unconscious on the floor...

To be continued in Part 2