#ULTRA DRAGON BABY YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER I'M SO SORRY

[penofwildfire]

SERIOUSLY THOUGH LIKE. THE ABSOLUTE BODY HORROR. COMBINING INTO ONE BEING. THIS IS YOUR DESTINY. YOU WILL LOSE YOURSELF AND YOU WILL FIGHT AND YOU WILL DIE. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE IT. IT'S YOUR DUTY. YOU WERE MADE FOR THE GREEN NINJA TO RIDE.

[i-am-all-love-puns-and-lazy]

Ok so, I'm gonna get back on my bs real quick because I can(not sleep lol) and blabber on about my current hyperfixation (which is @whenthenightcomesgame it's so good y'all the writing, the art uGH MY HEART) and what Pokémon team I think they would have (I'm so sorry I saw they had an ask from awhile back about wat Pokémon they would have and I went "whoop I'll go further and give them all teams") so here we go!

First we have the good witch boy's team,

Ezra Lyon! (Art below is from the game I am TELLING u it is WONDERFUL)

I based the majority of Ezra's team on 4 highlights of who he is: healer, element focused, compassionate, and Coco (yes u heard me right, I'll explain)

Gallade: The Blade Pokémon. This one was actually assigned by the devs, and I honestly agree with it. Ezra may not be into fighting (AS FAR AS WE KNOW CAUSE IM POSTING THIS POST CHAPTER 6 SO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) he is one tough cookie and would defend those he loves to the end, and a lot of the pokedex info points to Gallade's swordsmanship, it's sharp senses to an opponent's movements, and how they protect others(<<<<<).

Meganium: This one is literally called the Herb Pokémon, so it just fit ok. Also, it's known to carry a calming scent and is able to breath life back into plants. All of this I feel like fits Ezra and who he is as a witch healer really well. I can imagine him having one just chilling in or outside his shop during the day.

Melotic: The Tender Pokémon. This one I thought also fit cause it also has the ability to sing and calm agrressive emotions around it (idk if u caught on, but I gave him a lot of chill Pokémon him and the others need it). This Pokémon is also described as the most beautiful Pokémon of all (and like all of them r beautiful really, but do u see him???? Like???? It fits, fight me on this) And it's a water Pokémon, another element I think works for him (also I picked it because of some really gorgeous art I saw of him waterbending(??) done by @artisttothebone please go check out her work she is one of the devs and deserves SO much love y'all)

Sylveon: The Intertwining Pokémon. This eeveelution I picked because it's the one you evolve with high amounts of love. And Ezra is love personified. Case closed.... Nah jk, I also want to note that if there was a Pokémon AU or something, this would be the one to be in place of Coco (aha! See! Explained!) (also might change it to shiny so the the Eevee would be shiny and match better. Maybe??? Idk) Oh! And, according the pokedex in Ultra Sun, Sylveon will apparently charge right at dragon Pokémon if a fight breaks out, just wanted to point that out. It fits with the whole Ezra being one tough and cute cookie.

Chansey: The Egg Pokémon. The nurse of all Pokémon who is willing to help any injured Pokémon, which sounds a lot like our dear little witch, Ezra. And it may be cute and round, but according to the pokedex from Gold, it is also a fast round cutie and is rather difficult to catch.

Togepi: The Spike Ball Pokémon. Seen as a symbol of good luck, this wee baby's shell is full of happiness it stores from being with others who have a lot to give, which pairs really well with the rest of Ezra's team and Ezra himself. It is then able to give the stored happiness to others as well to cheer them up. Also, it's adorable!

And that's all for him, hope y'all enjoyed this!

[tumblunni]

DR SNAP I LOVE YOU AAAAA

guys I just heard about a NEW SCIENCE GRANDPA *slams fist on the table* FUCK YEAH I will hug all the this one specific character type until the end of time

What's even better is that he seems to straight up actually be Nice Hojo, aka the first science villain I ever liked and then was Incredibly Betrayed By when he turned from funny sassy sidekick guy to child abuse fetal experimentation super duper ultra murder potentially-rape-potentially-domestic-abuse man. And then incredibly confused when his final boss fight tried to be all feelsy and sad and I was just like ok so we are backpedalling to what I wanted him to be but it is too late sorry!! Still the best boss fight ever tho, fuckin punch him in the face three times in increasing monsteriness for not living up to my cute gramp hopes. ALSO HOW DARE YOU BECOME A COOL MONSTER TOO, YOU DONT DESERVE SUCH A NEAT DESIGN

So yeah

This dude

IS CUTE GRAMP AND ALSO ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME MONSTER DESIGN???

Underappreciated man Dr Snap from Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 1! Also his monster boss form is called Dr Snapped and I'm just like mmyes gud pun, thankyee

He is still a mad science villain yes, but he is very polite and endearing and round and soft!! And has a spooky final boss form that's even more terrifying than Helletic Hojo and has a cool aesthetic with the floaty orbs and also lil skittery centi-legs. Pretty much the only thing I don't like here is the weird jowls, I dunno why but that creeps me out the most. I guess just cos it looks close to a normal human face but like if the cheek meats were all sliced up and melting. Thankfully the game doesn't seem to indicate that he's in pain in any way, so that's a relief. He' like WEIRDLY POLITE AND CHEERFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING INCLUDING BECOMING A HELLBEAST

Good boy. Soft mans. Sweet grampe.

"oh whoopsie doopsie I appear to have dropped my arms and earlobes, sorry about that sonny"

Srsly he's not going "I'm a monster"in horror here, his next line is basically "yay this wasn't part of my plan but this is even better!"

His entire villain plan is just cos he loves and cherishes monsters too much, and embodies all the virtues of a monster tamer to a dangerous extreme. He thinks monsters are more pure and good than humanity and the only way to truly get humanity to live with them in peace is to let monsters take over the world entirely. And he's like "oh golly gosh my dream came true" when he becomes the world's scariest goddamn Frankenstein centipede, and is happy that he can fix the world even more super duper double much by making everyone become monsters too! It'll solve all problems!! Somehow!! The key to eternal peace is becoming cute abominations like me, yay!!

Srsly wtf he's so endearing I absolutely adore him AND ALSO HIS PHILOSOPHY IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS ME WHEN IM PLAYING ANY GAME WHERE I HAVE TO FIGHT MONSTERS. Like I was excited about this joker game in the first place cos I always feel sad having to kill all those cute designs in the dragon quest series!!! I wanna be their friend!!! It's a shame that this came out before dqix tho so it doesn't have that cute cow pattern vampire bat thingie or the slug with lips. THEY WERE MY FOREVER FRIENDS

So yeh I'm kinda sad that from what I've heard the game isn't sympathetic to Dr Snap at all despite making him FUCKIN ADORABLE and his entire motives being exactly the same as yours, just corrupted. I would have expected some sort of ending where you can convince him he's wrong and have a big speech about a better solution and stuff, and it's all motivational? Cos srsly it just seems like he somehow lost faith in humanity and felt like this extreme solution was the only way to achieve peace. I wonder if he had some sort of sad backstory where he saw a forest of monsters killed by humans polluting the environment or something. Or lived a sad childhood and his only friend was a pet monster that died defending him from his abusive parents. OR BOTH. Srsly I just feel like it takes a big trauma to lead to a guy being this messed up cos I know my own "humans suck, I will always side with the monsters detsroying humanity" feels come from being abused as a kid.

BUT NO

JUST

HE BAD HE DIE

Also the damn weirdness of your own monster partner saying "he's no longer human so we have to kill him"

I never fuckin understand "being non human in any way equals automatically evil and no human rights" as a morality. Morality should always be about what you DO, not what you are! This dude is still 100% sentient and going golly gosh all over the place but now it's okay to murder him without even trying to talk him down???

Apparently you can actually unlock his monster form as a playable party member in the sequel, but it's not actually him and just like.. same species, by merging some other species together.

But no I choose to reject that reality and instead believe that we motivational speech'd him and restored his faith in humanity and ended the fight without a murder, and he stopped his plan and just went home with us to be our wonderful new eldritch grandpa forever. And now he works hard to make up for his sins, and also do research on monsterness from the monster perspective so we can find even more ways to bring friendship and peace to the two worlds. And someone sewed him a new cute fancy labcoat to fit all his extra tentacle arms!! And little glasses with sticky pads on the nose bridge so they stay on even though his head is kinda indented in his torso now. Also he can hug twice as many baby Slimes with all the extra limbs, yes!!!!! MY ELDRITCH GRAMPS BAKES ELDRITCH COOKIES AND THIS IS THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT

So uhh yeh anyways this has been bunni accidentally stumbling upon the ending to a game they've never played via pixiv and now being filled with the strongest fire to play it

I MUST SEE THE WHOLE STORY OF GRAMP...

Also thank u to pixiv user [D.J] who makes many fanarts of obscure sad science villain grandpas getting cuddles and happiness. I feel like my goddamn soul twin is living on the other side of the planet where I can never tell them how much I love their art :(

[endgameexecutor]

bAE. IN CELEBRATION OF VALENTINE'S DAY, I'M REQUESTING THAT YOU DO THE THING THAT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER. DO ALL THE ASKS IN THE POKEMON ASK MEME. O3O

favorite type: Normal type no fucking doubt.

least favorite type: Ghost types seem to appeal to me the least.

favorite dual type: You pair anything up with Normal and you’ve got a winner in my books, though I’ll give this one to Normal/Dragon just because it goes from a mundane typing to god-dammed Dragon.

least favorite dual type: Fairy/Psychic but only because the two values of pink just sorta blur together and it doesn’t look all to appealing to me (I still love Mr Mime though).

favorite trainer: Like favorite trainer class? I will admit I have a small crush on the redheaded Furisode Girl because her appearance reminds me of @crazygingerlady​

least favorite trainer: Imma take this spot to ask why Game Freak didn’t have female Triathletes in ORAS. Seriously, their design was fine and lovely and you screwed it up.

favorite gym leader: Lenora is a Normal-type gym leader I can proud of.

least favorite gym leader: It feels like more effort went into Olympia’s gym than her personality.

favorite elite four member: Aaron because I like Bug-types

least favorite elite four member: Malva

favorite trial (sun & moon): Is it bad I want to say I enjoyed Mina’s lack of a trial just because of how jarring it was?

least favorite trial (sun & moon): I feel like Sophocles’s original trial was just sort of average and I’m glad they changed it up for USUM.

favorite antagonist team: Team Plasma from the original Black and White. I haven’t played B2W2 yet so I don’t know how they hold up there.

least favorite antagonist team: I feel like had they fleshed out the “classist Nazi” aspect more, Team Flare would’ve been a truly horrifying successor to Ghetsis. 

favorite shiny pokemon: 

(Her name is Princess and I love her.)

Okay this is gonna definitely get super long so I’m just gonna put one of these down…

16. least favorite shiny pokemon

(For me Garchomp is the pinnacle in lazy shiny designs.)

17. 3 favorite pokemon

I can’t fully explain why, but I just love Dunsparce’s design so god-damned much. He is a perfect boy. 

Shuckle is one of the earliest instances of a lethal joke character in Pokemon, only beating out Wobbuffet on this list because I just love his strange design so much.

This sunny lizard basically replaced my starter in Gen 6 and I have no regrets.

18. 3 least favorite pokemon

I’m putting coffin boy here because he’s Ghost type, but also one I dread facing. Who though giving a mummy box a cursed ability was a good idea?

Fighting types are one of my top three but sadly Crabominable’s design just turns me me away. It’s not even “ugly-cute” like Snubull. It really is a shame because it’s a cool type combination.

Pachirisu is an unfortunate victim of Game Freak’s attempts to make lightning strike twice with the marketability of Pikachu. I really do love their design but they won’t get any cool evolution because they wouldn’t be cool and marketable forever. I’m sorry Pachirisu, you deserve better.

19. favorite pokemon game: Emerald fills me to the brim with so much nostalgia and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

 20. least favorite pokemon game: No Pokemon game has been terrible to me, but Diamond and Pearl’s pokemon are sorta just “Eh” to me while X and Y’s story invokes the same emotion.

21. favorite legendary/mythical pokemon

A music-based normal type? Sign me the fuck up.

22. least favorite legendary/mythical pokemon

It’s unfortunate but he came in around a time when it felt like less effort was being put into Mythical Pokemons’ events. Sure he gets a whole movie but he’s just handed to us in the game.

23. favorite music track from a pokemon game

The Ultra Recon Squad is some of the best shit I’ve heard.

24. your favorite team of pokemon you’ve ever had 

I can’t really remember my older teams all to well so I’ll have to give it to my latest squad.

25. favorite design of a pokemon: I feel like this goes back around to questions 17 and 18

26. least favorite design of a pokemon: See question 25

27. overall favorite generation of pokemon: Just from Pokemon alone, Gen 5 hands down.

28. overall least favorite generation of pokemon: By the same criteria, gen 4 gets a shrug from me.

29. favorite normal type: 

Golly I wonder who it could be.

30. least favorite normal type:

Fuck you they’re all great.

31.favorite fire type: The Turtonator featured in question 24!

32. least favorite fire type: 

Oddly enough, Ninetails never struck me as something I’d be inclined to raise.

33. favorite fighting type:

I couldn’t pick between the Hitmons so I chose the baby they come from instead.

34. least favorite fighting type: Still Crabominable.

35. favorite water type: 

Do I need to explain why Qwilfish is so cool? The answer is no, he just radiates awesome. And also poison if his quills are leaking. Deadly, deadly poison.

36. least favorite water type:

I mean I understand why you aren’t, but I still wish you were Luvdisc’s evolution.

37. favorite flying type: 

HE IS DOING HIS BEST AND I LOVE HIM.

38. least favorite flying type:

Santabird sits here as a victim of wasted potential. He has access to a lot of moves through breeding and tutoring and honestly that would be a cool concept for a Pokemon. The problem is that he dosen’t have the stats to make use of them. Poor Santabird.

39. favorite grass type:

You are forever one of my favorite starters, even if the physical/special split screwed you over.

40. least favorite grass type

You kinda bore me, though.

41. favorite poison type:

Who’s a colorful, gooey girl? You are! Who eats trash with their rock teef? You do! Who’s the bane of my wife’s fairy/psychic types? You are!!!

42. least favorite poison type

You have really cool sprites but no reason to be poison type.

43. favorite electric type: Yup, still Helioisk.

44. least favorite electric type: Pachirisu for the tragic reasons mentioned above.

45. favorite ground type:

His stats are perfect compromise between Politoed and Poliwrath, he has some of my favorite moves, and an awesome design to boot. I love you wart-man.

46. least favorite ground type:

Flygon is cooler.

47. favorite rock type:

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HIM

48. least favorite rock type:

Your stall tactics have given me so mush hell I think I deserve to be petty.

49. favorite ice type:

This boy was a Beauty Contest champion and I’m just proud of him. He did so amazing… Excuse me I need a moment.

50. least favorite ice type

I’ll be honest, I don’t have much reason to put you here other than your crap shiny. Also you should evolve with the new Ice Stone.

51. favorite bug type:

Remember when you could catch him down in ruins? That was really cool, especially since this guy has become a part of my Black and White team without me even noticing. It was a really cool even and Game Freak should do more.

52. least favorite bug type:

All bug types are perfect. Fuck you this space is staying blank.

53. favorite dragon type:

54. least favorite dragon type

Still the Garchomp line sadly. This isn’t even over the shiny now, they’re just one of the last dragon types I’d consider raising.

55. favorite ghost type

Okay Shedinja has Wonder Guard and we all know what that entails. So instead Imma blab about it’s other aspects. First and foremost, Shedinja is re-animated remains of Nincada’s old shell, technically making him the first zombie Pokemon. On top of that he has a cool design that combines cicada shell and guardian angel, which happens to be emphasized in Wonder Guard’s Japanese name: Mysterious Protection. And to top it all off, he’s the evolved form of a Pokemon that can evolve into two Pokemon at once! That’s fucking cool.

56. least favorite ghost type:

GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT TOWER YOU ETHEREAL BASTARD.

57. favorite dark type

BOOF

58. least favorite dark type

HE’S STILL NOT OUT OF THE GOD DAMNED TOWER

59. favorite psychic:

I brought that baby Wynaut all the way to the ORAS Pokeleague and I’m so proud of him. My punching bag has punched back! ;3;

60. least favorite psychic type:

I’m sorry Oranguru, as a Normal type you’re beautiful. But as a Psychic type, well your design just doesn’t appeal to me. Please forgive me…

61. favorite steel type:

love the cronch

62. least favorite steel type

It’s a bit controversial, but I feel kinda apathetic about Lucario. There’s just something about it’s design and the way it’s marketed that makes me feel like it’s design was focus-tested to be the most marketable “cool” Pokemon in Gen 4. I mean hot-damn he’s great in battles, but I get the sense that originality might have been quashed in favor of sales.

63. favorite fairy type:

This tiny motherfucker is one of the deadliest dust-mites I’ve ever had the pleasure of raising. Under that adorable exterior lies a deadly secret; that they are a fucking Bug/Fairy sweeper, type you would’ve thought you’d see in Gen 6 comes wreak havoc on those who who dare oppose him. 

FEAR THE POLLEN BEE

64. least favorite fairy type

You’re only here because the cross of plague-doctor and flamenco dancer is just something that doesn’t appeal to me. Which is my only major nag because as we’ve gathered from the other entries, I’m quite vain. You do have a great shiny and an excellent supportive moveset, though.

65. favorite pokemon movie:

I had the Pokemon 2000 movie on VHS when I was a kid. I had no idea what was going on when I watched it though. Probably didn’t help that I only knew Gen 1 back then.

66. least favorite pokemon movie

I can’t say there’s any Pokemon movie I outright hate. Though I’ve watched like the older ones so maybe there’s something bad later down the line. I dunno.

67. favorite animated adaptation

Honestly I enjoy watching the Sun and Moon episodes with @crazygingerlady. This series actually sparked my interest in the anime again. (Give us more focus on Team Rocket though, thank you.)

68. least favorite animated adaptation

As a kid I watched a lot of the Hoenn stuff and I think I complained a lot. Thinking I could do both Ash’s and Team Rocket’s job way better. When I think back on it I realized two things: One. I was being really silly. Two. The Hoenn stuff kinda bores me.

69. favorite pokemon card

Yes.

70. least favorite pokemon card

DON’T MAKE CHOSE BETWEEN MY BABIES. ;M;

71. favorite pokemon tumblr blog(s): Look I just follow anyone with “Dunsparce” in the name.

72. favorite pokemon plushie

These precious babies I got from @crazygingerlady

73. favorite pokemon merchandise: The games. o3o

74. favorite alolan version of a first gen pokemon

The bearded cannon.

75. a pokemon that you feel is overrated:

It’s the same sad deal I was talking about earlier. I’m sorry Lucario, you’re a great fighter but I won’t go out of my way to raise you.

76. a pokemon that you feel is underrated

You know, I don’t see much love given to my walkin, talkin boombox.

77. favorite eeveelution

sploosh

78. least favorite eeveelution

The only reason Umbreon is here is because they’re the only one Syncronoise is useless on. That’s it. All the Eeveelutions are pretty great and it was hard to pick between them.

BONUS QUESTIONS (that Jayde and I came up with):

79. Favorite Pokestar opponent?

I’m not sure why I chose this question seeing as I haven’t played B2W2, but this dude is creepy as hell.

80. Favorite Mega Evolution?

I am so glad Beedrill got a Mega evolution, I ran with vanilla Beedrill all the way through Pokemon X and now my boy has a upgrade! I am so proud of him and his new badass form.

Now all we need is a Mega Butterfree!