#Tw tw tw

[siffrin-enthusiast]

hey chat i’ve been having Thoughts about siffrin again.

tws for heavy discussions of unhealthy coping mechanisms, self-harm & suicide in the game in stars and time, spoilers for the entire game act 6 twohats etc etc. if anyone reads this and thinks of any more tws i should add, send them in and i'll add them to the top of this post.

your last warning of heavy discussions VERY unhealthy coping, the urge to and methods of physical and emotional SELF-HARM, and the weight of SUICIDE. i just want to reiterate that IT IS A LOT. use your best judgement before & while reading this post and PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

last last warning. just to be sure.

siffrin self-harms in the loops. we all know this, right? from the increasingly barbaric means they use to loop back, the glass shard they pick up and use, the bigfrin fight where your only craft skill is "(don't attack.) can't hurt them. attack the only person left" and the party visibly reacts to you using it. it's not exactly subtle.

it makes sense that the pretty popular headcanon is that siffrin doesn't drop the habit of self-harming after coming out of the loops. i agree with that, but i also think that it's not done in the way most people are thinking! let me explain.

siffrin's self-harming behavior in the loops boils down to three major (and very intertwined) truths about their situation.

siffrin does not recognize the value in his life. this has been a thing since before sif joined the party. they happened to cross paths and stepped up to defeat a "particularly strong Sadness" (and for reference, fully leveled storming the house Mirabelle gets nervous about fighting a Sadness. they will freeze you in time. they ripped out siffrin's eye in one blow. they are DANGEROUS.) and siffrin comes along to save this country because "there's nothing else for you to do". and then the loops start. siffrin realizes he can die and. well. holy fuck. we've all played the game. siffrin is literally killing himself, killing himself, for convenience because it's annoying to walk to a tear. and it's his idea!! if you do it enough times, the death text changes from (You killed yourself.) to (You saved yourself some time.) loop has a line about advising siffrin against suicide because they'll see themself as "disposable" and...yeah. yeah. they do.

siffrin will not let physical or emotional harm come to the other members of their party. again, this is something seen before the loops, when siffrin loses his eye defending bonnie from a sadness, and how they still cringe over being 'inconsiderate' to mira months ago during their travels across vaugarde. when the party panics after (just attack), siffrin loops. when the party dies in loop's hangout, siffrin loops. when bonnie is taken by the king, siffrin loops. when isa is taken aback by bad touch, siffrin loops. when odile realizes they're in a time loop in kinda sus, siffrin loops. when the party watches siffrin hurt himself in the bigfrin fight, siffrin attempts to loop. good god, there's a scene where if you try and use the dagger on your family members siffrin blames his intrusive thoughts and stabs themself. because of their intrusive thoughts. his dreams are about the fear of hurting their friends. their worst, most traumatizing moments are about other people getting hurt.

siffrin's actions in the loops are reversible. if something is done, it can be undone. it can be scripted around. their party will not know unless siffrin chooses to tell them. none of their actions have consequences. sif delights in this (until realizing beating the king doesn't free him from the loop). fuck up bonnie's friendquest? loop! miss a key? loop! say the wrong thing? loop! everyone dies horribly? loop! loop! loop!

and after the loops? let's take a moment to reevaluate siffrin's situation:

siffrin does not recognize the value of his life. still.

siffrin will not let physical or emotional harm come to the other members of their party. still.

siffrin's actions are no longer reversible. there is no time loop. what happens now happens--no second chances, no undo button. they are permanent. especially now that they've seen sif try to loop, the smell of burnt sugar that precedes it, and odile figured out how to shut it down. all of their actions have consequences.

immediately after the bigfrin fight, mira asks where sif is going and bonnie LITERALLY says "Yeah, you're stupid if you think we're leaving you to do whatever you want right now." and the party double-checks that siffrin is going to see loop before letting them run off. and then twohats happens. when siffrin gets back, isa comments "We were getting worried." in siffrin's small absence (despite knowing exactly where siffrin was, talking to loop, who the party has a favorable opinion of) and then mira calls them out directly for looking sad.

the party is watching siffrin like fucking hawks.

i fully believe that siffrin would feel the urge to self-harm. i fully believe that the party knows this too. and i think siffrin would at least suspect that the party is going to be looking very, very closely for signs of more physical self-harm.

there's a phenomenon i don't have a name for but that i've seen repeated where someone trying to recover from using an unhealthy coping mechanism can slip into using a different unhealthy coping mechanism instead. in school, perfectionism can lead to avoidance. if a person shuts down for too long, they might start acting out or doing other attention-seeking behaviors as a cry for help. and after we experience continuous trauma, a lot of people will seek out or be more attached to unhealthy relationships (of any time) and find comfort & stability in the abuse endured. obviously this isn't the case every time, and i don't even know if it's a Thing i actually read about in psychology classes or just a pattern i've been noticing! i'm no professional.

for siffrin, actions and their consequences are now permanent. so i really, really don't think he's going to self-harm unless they're 100% sure they're going to get away with it (and i doubt the opportunity will arise for months). because if the party finds out they self-harm, that breaks sif's rule of not letting physical/emotional harm come to the party. they're going to be devastated. we already saw how they acted when siffrin did it in front of them when he was using the dagger to loop, the bigfrin fight. when dagger looping, siffrin was more shaken up about watching their family watch siffrin die than the literally killing himself part. they do it in front of their party and in the bigfrin fight because he thinks he can loop back. but that is no longer siffrin's reality. the party will be devastated if siffrin hurts himself and siffrin cannot undo that hurt.

("Yeah, you're stupid if you think we're leaving you to do whatever you want right now.")

i think that since physical self-harm is banned for siffrin, he's going to subconsciously shift to emotional or at least more subtle self-harm. keeping that unhealthy emotional distance. getting angry and frustrated and bitter. overly helpful. denial and minimizing and suppressing the loops. alcoholism. dissociating from their feelings. keeping their expectations so, so soul-crushingly low. passivity. whatever was left of his self-esteem is going through a woodchipper. self-sabotage his relationships. impulsive behavior. throwing themself into the party's problems to forget his own.

little things, subtle unconscious displays of siffrin's utter loathing of himself that he thinks on some level he can get away with. that their party won't notice, won't be hurt by. there won't be consequences! no one will be hurt (except siffrin, but as previously discussed, siffrin does not value themself). the party is going to be watching; their refusal to let siffrin go to dormont alone says as much. and siffrin is not going to start opening up and becoming the coping mechanisms master; their non-mention of the fight with loop (only saying "i said thanks to loop" instead of "loop is me and also tried to kill me") says as much. there's...a long road ahead, that much is clear.

i think siffrin will eventually get better. isafrin only happened because siffrin reached out for isabeau instead of waiting on isa to do it, which i'm interpreting as a very positive sign of sif learning he has to reach out for help to receive it. it's going to be messy. it's going to take a while. but the time will pass anyways. siffrin will eventually get better.

those are just my thoughts as a non-professional. i'd love to hear other people's thinking about siffrin. if you need it, here's tumblrs official mental health resources post with resources sorted by different countries. stay safe and be well, everyone :)

[maybeimmac]

[lucrezianoin]

MIND THE FLASHES AND THE NAKEDNESS

[ijustbesayinstuff]

Just imagine getting kidnapped by a dude that lowkey cares about you and you don’t have to worry about ANYTHING. Just have to sit there and look pretty for him. No bills no school you have no more responsibilities just nothing. Bonus points if he gets you stuff. You’d be kinda like a stay at home wife except illegal. That would be the life it really would

[astridinhell]

Mmmmmm, feeling like shit bc my cuts are basically glorified paper cuts compared to other people, yet im to chicken to go deeper </3 I only mark for like a week then it's gone. Fucking pimples last longer. I wish someone would get me an actual Fucking razor, but I'm honestly attached to my silly little plastic face shaver <3

(Razor pic below cut. Don't report, just block.)

[buff-borf-bork]

Suvi: told by her godmother not to do a goddamn thing, put it on ice, wait for me

The start of the next episode: Suvi Takes Eursulon To An Angry Powerful Spirit To Fuck Around With All The Things She Promised Not To At Once

[bepenikki]

this is what i see when i go to answer these btw

tumblr tries to make the image bigger,, it fails

[0nevergrowoldnevergrowold0]

Real as fuck when i was a kid i had a four poster bed, and i made the sickest pillow fort in the worl one night, then 30 minutes later my best friend texted me and told me they were going to od on drugs and kill themself (pictures were attached) - i had to call 911 - now i cannot see pictures of pillow forts on pinterest without thinking about drug suicide.

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

uhm uhm- more writing time except I don't have a clue what I'm doing, like- this is very fucking rushed I literally based this off of a headcanon I made, so uhm- enjoy :D

====================================

Rayan stepped back from where his victim was towering over him, his bloodstained mask held in their trembling hand. His hand instinctively went to grab a knife, a scalpel, anything that would help him, before their other hand grabbed ahold of his.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing." Rayan managed to utter, before flinching as his mask was thrown to the floor, the tip of a knife now against his neck.

Rayan stared, eyes wide, at his mask, sighing. "That was my best fucking mask, bloody hell."

The victim paused in surprise. "..You're not bothered that I'm literally holding a knife to your throat?"

"Well, of course not, it happens all the time."

The victim paused again, before sighing, rolling their eyes as they stepped away from him, twirling the knife through their fingers. "Was hoping to get at least a whimper from you, how are you-"

But when they looked back at their torturer, Rayan was gone.

Then a bat hit the back of their head, bloodied wood meeting flesh and bone with a sickening crack. Within a few seconds, the victim was unconscious on the floor from the blow, Rayan standing above them.

Rayan slung the bat over his shoulder, chest heaving as he backed away and pressed his back on the nearest wall, hands shaking.

God, that was close.

====================================

[feefal]

Mold x calico cats!

[astridinhell]

Would anyone really care if I died lol, I don't think so.

[sailing-ever-west]

graph of what being hungry is like with adhd

[99fish]

hi heres the entire twilight movie as a stamp

[saturni-idae]

Down in the dungeon, where hunger resides 🩸

I wanted to make a dungeon meshi fanart for a while, and man, I love Falin, so here we go

I hope you like it :)