#Turtles just have INSANE natural armor in there shell

[goddessofwind8water]

I feel like it is also important to mention that there were not actually any traps in that dungeon

"Blorbo from my shows" this, "blorbo from my videogames" that. What about "blorbo from my DnD game" that only three other people know. Do you ever think about that-

[spideymarvelws]

can you do some technoblade x teen platonic reader headcanons about techno sorta being the reader’s mentor and being one of the only people on the smp who could actually defeat technoblade in a sword fight?

behold... another main character

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To Your Taglist

Warnings : Violence, Death, Some cursing

Word Count : 4.0k

The Blade and The Survivor (1/?)

Technoblade x GN!Platonic!Teen!Reader

You’ve only ever heard the story’s of the famous blood god growing up

Your brother was the first to introduce you to the legend, the legend of a man who never died

Who’s fought battles that no person could ever dream of and walked out victorious every time

The well known anarchist who’s taken down government after government

You were hooked from the very beginning and after every tail he would tell, you would beg your brother to teach you how to fight like him

While your brother wasn’t the best, he knew his way around basic weapons from your grandfather and agreed 

He would bring you out to a nearby plains biome anytime you were free and teach you all he knew

And while it wasn't much, you were grateful for every piece of information and put your all into everything he taught you

He even reenacting some fights from the stories to make it interesting for you

You would always play along, acting as the infamous blade and running around with your brother

Sometimes you would shout “blood for the blood god” while killing cows or chickens

But you refused to kill pigs.

In fact you got a pet one and named it Bladey

For your birthday your brother got you a saddle and you made a carrot on a stick using the crops he stole from the farm so you could ride it across the village

He also gifted you a wooden sword and axe while he wielded stone

for safety of course, he wasn't about to give a child stone tools

Along with a shield that had the banner of your village

But out of every weapon, you were the best with a bow

You had a natural talent for it, every arrow you ever shot always hit its target

Your brother would always ruffle your hair and compare your aim to that of the blade’s, making you beam even brighter

“Who knew we have an archer on our hands, the blade could never compare,”

But all of this was done in secret

The village you lived in was safe, small and homey

Everyone knew one another, so the possibly of someone committing crimes or turning against someone was unlikely

The villagers were peaceful with one another

And with the iron golems patrolling every corner 

you loved to give them poppies from your mother’s garden as a thank you

There was no need to learn to fight when you lived in a place that never needed it

The village ran on balance, equality amongst each person so that everyone could be amongst one another in peace

Plus, at the time you were the youngest in the village, considered a baby by everyone

And while you had the kindness and curiosity to match it, there was always something missing

Training was the only thing that fulfilled it

Your brother thought that your practises would disrupt that balance so he never told anyone about your activities

And that stayed true until your last night in the village 

You, your brother and bladey were making your way back to the village after a long day of training when you noticed thick, black smoke rising from where it stood

You both started walking carefully to the area, you walking behind your brother with the pig in your arms for comfort

In the distance, you noted the shadow of pillagers and iron ore scattered across the grounds

You went to scream as you got close and run to your house, but your brother slapped his hand over your mouth and pulled you with him behind a nearby tree

But one of the pillagers heard the noise of leaves rustling and began to approach the both of you.

Your brother was quick to take out his sword, pushing you behind him 

“Listen to me Y/n, I want you to run okay? Run and never stop until you know you’re safe okay?”

You shook your head, “What about you? What about our parents?”

He smiled sadly, shakily ruffling your hair, “I’ll be right behind you... Now go!”

The sound of swords clashing and the screams of your brother were the last things you heard  as you ran, tears falling from your face 

Bladey squealed in your arms, wiggling and turning to get out of them, sensing the danger but you kept your grip tight, following your brother’s orders and running as far as pos sible

Needless to say he didn’t follow, neither did the rest of the village that was left in ashes and ruins after the attack

You couldn't find the heart to turn back, to fight along side your brother

You fled like a coward. Guilt, pain and hatred riding on your back 

But you didn't give up hope, plotting revenge against the mobs who destroyed your home

Who killed your family

You walked for days, stopping at villages, trading with them and improving your supplies

And getting a lot of carrots

Your wooden swords turned into iron, along with the rest of your tools

Your leather helmet turned into a full set of iron armor 

But you kept your old shield, repairing it every time it lost durability

You even crafted a crossbow that you learned was the main weapon pillagers used

You dreamed of pointing it at there neck, watching the sharp arrowhead puncture their skin and bleed out on the floor

You tended to sleep through the day and fight threw the night, taking out your anger on the mobs that spawned around the wood houses you made to keep yourself warm and isolated

Times when you weren't fighting and training, you spent in the library of any village you found, learning about anything you could

It was there you learnt about the rare ore diamonds, hidden deep in caves 

You also learned about enchantments, that made your armor and weapons even stronger

Soon enough you were geared up with full diamond armor and a set of diamond tools 

But it was never enough, you always needed more 

So you went to nether after repairing a ruined portal you came across

And began exploring

Gathered potions

All the materials you could find

Along with netherite

And fighting every mob you happened to pass by except piglins

For such a young age, you were stacked, maxed out to the point of boredom that you couldn't go further

Even Bladey had his own turtle shell, adjusted slightly to fit his head and allow him sight

You often wondered if this was what it was like to feel like technoblade

And throughout your journeys, you kept the stories your brother told you by heart, learning as much as you could about The Blade

You followed in his footsteps, using his successes as even more motivation to continue on your quest

And ready to finally get your revenge

It was easy to take down the pillage post, taking the banner and making your own shield that you kept as a trophy in your inventory as a reminder of what you lost

But it wasn’t enough, the loss of your family laid heavy and your heart

So you started protecting the villages you visited in exchange for lower prices in trades

You believed that was your purpose now, you had nothing else to do but fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves

You wanted to help in ways that you couldn't all those years ago

You would wear a black cloak over your armor, the hood covering your head and a mask concealing your face

You couldn't imagine wearing a skull mask, even if it was for the aesthetic

You looked like death itself

Death with a cute pig side kick

Soon enough, word got around of a teenage warrior roaming the lands labelled ‘The Survivor’, catching the attention of Wilbur and Tommy who had just been exiled from L’manburg

“Why would we need them if we already have techno on our side?”

“Because we need all the allies we could get Tommy, plus we don’t want Shlatt to get to them first.”

You would be passing by Pogtopia on your horse with Bladey tucked into you lap sleeping, following a map to another village that needed help when a tall man stepped in front of your path, making you halt

“Why hello there, Survivor, care for a little chat?” he said ominously, leaning against your horse

You payed no mind to him, hitting his hand of your horse, rolling your eyes and moving around him

You’ve meet people like him on your travels before, people who only needed you for your skills and selfish reasons

At least, that how he came off and you didn’t care to stay and find out if your assumptions were true

“Hey, hey, hey, look, I’m sorry if I came off so forward but- I need your help,”

That made you stop.

“Need help with what exactly?”

He went on to explain his situation about a place called L’Manburg, an evil dictator named Jshlatt and his exile along with someone named TommyInnit

At first you said no.

You were only interest in keeping your own kind safe, protected people who needed it

And from the looks of it, it seemed that the two men put themselves in there position so they should be the one to take themselves out

That and you had more pressing matters to attend to than government

“What do you need? What would you want in return?” he started to beg, walking along side your horse as you started to ride away

“I already have all I need,” you croaked

“Well that seems boring. Don’t you want a bit of adventure in your life Survivor? A little bit of flavour to spice up it up? It must be so boring just fighting the same thing over and over again, why not work for a group? A collective?”

You grew tired of his voice, letting out a deep breath you began to consider his words

As much as you didn’t want to admit, he was right

You had been travelling around the lands, going insane, doing the same thing over and over

And while it helped people, it was growing tiring

Maybe one war wouldn’t be so bad, and perhaps you would learn some new stuff along the way

And the alliance with this so called L’manburg would be good for the long run

“If I agree... would you shut up?” you finally cut off his rambling and stopping your horse

He blinked in surprise, “Wow! If i had known talking would make you cave in, I would've brought up Tommy instead.”

You sighed, “I’ll help you okay? As long as I get free access to L’manburg afterwards along with all the supplies i need,”

“Done, done and done.”

The first day wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be

Wilbur was actually pretty chill, letting you make a new home out of the ravine they stayed in

Niki was also really kind, bringing sweet treats from Manburg every time she visited

It was nice to settle for a while, you couldn't remember the last time you slept under the same roof for more that a day

Your horse, Jewel along with Bladey seemed to settle well along with you

You also met Tubbo and Tommy, a lively duo that overwhelmed you at first but there energy was nice to see in such a grey environment

What you didn’t expect was to meet him

You would be mining a small space in the ravine for yourself and your pets when you heard a monotone voice sound from behind you

“Heh?! Who’s the kid?” 

You spun around, raising your sword to the intruder but froze when you noticed the familiar skull mask, along with pointy piglin ears hidden behind bright pink hair 

He didn’t seem fazed by your weapon, leaning against the stone door frame with his arms crossed

“You’re- you’re him.” you muttered in awe

Before he could respond, Wilbur popped out from behind him, “Oh, yeah. That’s Y/n, Y/n, Techno. Techno, Y/n,” he nudged his side, “They’ll be helping us take back L’manburg,”

Techno only nodded, “Nice.” he tilted his head, “Aren’t you that Survivor dude? That’s pretty pog.”

Cut to you standing frozen in place, jaw dropped to the floor, eyes wide in amazement

“You- you know who I am?” you squeaked, quickly sticking your sword in the ground and leaning against the handle, stumbling slightly

An attempt to seem cool in front of your idol

An attempt that didn't really work out

He let out a hum, “Heard the name from around yeah,” he pointed to your sword, “Might not want to stab your sword in stone, It’s not that affective.”

And with that he left

Leaving you in shock

If only your brother could see you now

After that interaction, you started to follow him around like a lost puppy, watching in awe at every little thing he did

You felt like a kid again, the warmth in your chest that you lost so long ago restored because the person who tied you and your brother together was here

Because you were training and fighting along side your childhood hero

He would act annoyed at first, always shrugging you off or moving to other rooms to avoid you

You were like a parasite 

He could never shake you off

He didn’t want to grow close to anyone, he was here to take down yet another corrupt government not to look after some orphan

That was Phil’s thing.

But after time he grew a liking to you, enjoying your presence while he was farming potatoes or visiting his cow farm

You acted different around him, the hard and emotionless exterior you showed to Tommy and Wilbur completely vanished and left an innocent, happy child

He always wondered why 

People never did that with him

He was a feared name across the lands of the smp, everyone usually kept there distance and became extremely cautious in his presence

But you didn’t seem to get scared, in fact, you were a talker, constantly asking question after question even if he gave no response

It was nice not to be alone after so long even though he would never admit it 

Even the voices started to take a liking to your bubbly and curious personality

Why is she asking the same question

Maybe you should answer her blood god

She seems nice

You really do take after your father

He saw a part of himself in you

Unlike Tommy and Wilbur, you weren’t fighting for government, you were fighting because you had nothing else to do

Because you were bored with your everyday life being, essentially, an assassin 

The thought always made him chuckle

He left like he could trust you over them because your weren't driven under a government

At least that’s what he told himself

He also wanted to see why they valued your alliance so much to give up half there riches to you from L’manburg

“Duel with me.” he said to you one day, out of the blue as you both made your way across a plain biome looking to animals to kill for food

“Heh?” you said under your breath, clearing your throat while heat rose your your face at his suggestion and the noise of surprise that escaped your mouth

Techno couldn't deny that his heart warmed just a little at the small things you began to pick up from him

“Fight with me,” he drew out his sword, turning around and facing you with the weapon raised in the air, “I wanna see what you’re made of ‘Survivor’. So come on, lets fight,”

This was the first time techno actually talked to you directly, uttered words other that demands, silly excuses or grunts of acknowledgement

“I-” you let out a deep breath, shakily taking out your own sword, “Okay, okay,”

After establishing some rules, the duel began.

He let you take the first hit, barely dealing him damage but you got the second hit as well, knocking him down two hearts

He was quick to regain himself, taking three hearts with his sword and a free hit with his bow

That gave you the idea to take out your own, running a good distance away and getting three shots in

It was a close fight, you didn’t mind if you lost. Fighting Technoblade was already an honour as it was

Then you jumped of a piece of stone, landing a crit and watched his items fall to the floor

Technoblade was slain by Y/n 

You let out a short breath, eyes widening in shock that you had just won

You just killed Technoblade

“I was only going easy on you- I- What enchantment do you have on your sword? You have creative mode don’t you? Yeah, you have creative mode... there’s just no way-”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your laughs as the blood god ran over to pick up his items with a red face

“Hey! Hey don’t laugh! This isn’t a laughing matter!”

“It- it kind of is.” you said shyly, putting away your sword and eating some steak to regain the health you lost, “If it makes you feel better, I had one heart...”

“oNe hEaRt! She had one heart chat! What is this-”

His words had you rolling on the floor, wiping your eyes of the tears falling from your at how hard you were laughing

“What- What do I have to do for you to keep this between us-” he whispered after you calmed, looking around the the space, making sure it was just you and him

You shrugged, “Nothing really- I- uh, i didn’t mean to kill you... I’m sorry-”

Sorry? Who the fuck says sorry for killing someone

Who says sorry for killing him?

If anything you should be gloating, getting a billbourd and displaying the chat message for everyone to see

He’s never been gladder that nobody else was connected to the chat at the time

“I was going easy on you.”

“I- sure, sure okay...” you thought about it for a second, “If so... then why don’t you teach me the things you didn’t try? Like techniques and stuff...”

He froze at your suggestion, “You want- you want to learn from me?”

“Yeah!” you beamed, “You were... a big inspiration for me growing up and, I would love to learn from the source and not just through tails and stories.”

He thought about it for a bit, usually he would rely on his voices but they were all just insulting him

He didn’t see the harm in it, out of all the children on the SMP, he tolerated you the most

That and you had potential, it was rare to find someone with such skills and who acted humble with them

He sighed, patting the top of your head with a huff, “Sure... Sure why not.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah sure, I mean what’s the harm in it right?” he ruffled your hair

The action made your eyebrows rise and when you looked back up at the piglin hybrid, all you saw was the smile of your brother looking down at you

“Hey, everything alright?” he questioned, noticing your sudden glossy eyes

You quickly rubbed them with your knuckles, “Yeah, yeah I- I just forgot something at Pogtopia,” you said, backing away with an embarrassed smile, “I’ll meet you back there,”

“Sure, sure... I’ll just continue hunting,”

As you ran away he let out a deep breath, taking out swords and looking down at it with a scoff

“Chat... we never speak of this... again.”

After that, the both of you were inseparable 

Going on adventures with each other, looting and exploring together

Where ever he went, you followed in his footsteps as he taught you about whatever he could

He even took you to his secret base and allowed you to help him in gathering supplies to help the fight

“What’s with the pig by the way?”

“It’s my emotional support pig.”

“And his name is bladey?”

“...”

“It’s a short for bladder...now what were you saying about poisoned arrows?”

And while you appreciated the action, your favourite times where the calm ones

When he would take you up to a hight tower or hill so the both of your could relax, maybe eat some mushroom stew as he told you stories of his own adventures 

You opened up to him as well, telling him about your family and your village, how you were travelling around with so sense of direction

It was strange how easily he trusted you, maybe it was because you had similar experiences as him

You understood him and he understood you

You also began to make good friends with the rest of Pogtopia along with everyone else who started to betray shlatt and join there side, becoming more open with the reassurance from Techno that they weren’t bad people

You fit in well, a lot more that he did

You had potential for a bloodless life, he saw that

He didn’t want you to make the same mistakes as him, he didn’t want you to live the same isolated life

And while you agreed with his thoughts on anarchy, he didn’t want to you to have any part in what he was doing.

So when L’Manburg was taken back and Tubbo was but in power, he felt a sense of dread opening his enderchest and taking out his six wither skulls

Don’t let the wither’s hurt them

You’re going to hurt them more that they are

You won’t be able to protect

Protect them at all costs

It wasn’t just the voices that felt the urge to keep you safe

Over the months he’s grown a liking to you, treating you like his own student and teaching you the things he wish he knew at your age

But he could also be the one to corrupt you.

And he didn’t have the heart to find out which way it would go

You caught sight of the skulls in his hands before he switched to his sword, a hard look on his face as everyone began fighting each other

“Techno?” you walked up to him, “Are you-”

“Yeah... yeah I am.” he puffed out his chest, pulling you the side, “Look, things are about to get messy and when they do I want you to run-”

You knew where this was going, flashbacks of your brother fighting one of the pillagers to save you as you ran away to safe yourself, sacrificing himself for you

“No.” you cut him off before he could continue.

While you knew Techno was going to come out of this alive, you had the power to help him now, to help everyone, you didn’t need to run anymore

You considered Techno family now, well the closest thing you had to it and you weren't about to loose that

Not again.

“I’m staying with you Tech,”

He shook his head, “If you do, L’manburg would never look at you the same, you’ll be an outcast once again-”

“Then do what you have to do, but I’m not running away. What happens here is because of everyone’s belief and I believe in safety and protection so that is what I’ll provide.” you took out your sword smirking, “Plus, we all know what happened last time when you tried to fight me,”

“I thought you promised to never speak of this again!”

“I’m sorry I had to-”

“Okay kid, okay...” he took a deep breath, “Just stay clear of dream and his crew... and the withers... Actually? here take some golden apples-”

“Just go be an anarchist Techno,” you pushed him forwards, rolling your eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

“Actually, take this God apple and a few more potions-”

“I already have some-”

“Well take more. And some extra armor... just in case-” he threw the items at you before running away and setting up the soul sand, not wanting anyone to catch on to what he was doing

And with one final look around following the conclusion of his speech, he placed the skulls, unleashing ultimate chaos on the land once called L’manburg

...

Sorry this took so long! I always get ahead of myself with requests and end up writing a lot more that planned but i hope you enjoyed! I was making this so long that I had to spit this into part two, maybe part three to cover the rest of the lore and to be able to develop more on their relationship besides backstory

That and i really want to write the execution scene but this was already 4k words... 

Feedback always appreciated🥰

[mcytrabbithole]

The Crash (Chapter 1)

Part 3 of my Hermitcraft and Dream SMP fanfic about what would happen if they found themselves in a new mixed up situation together!

You can find part 1 and part 2 by searching up The Crash on my page! 

Tags: @shineisalive , @harley-the-pancake 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2654

Waking up in a field wasn’t exactly ideal, especially for those who were actually in the field. Those in the field being Xisuma, Dream, Keralis, Tubbo, and Joe, as Dream would observe once he actually got a solid look around at the group. They were all scattered about the field, all of them slowly seating up and getting up as they got their bearings. One thing they noticed was that none of them had their Elytras and that their armor was gone, which just added to the list of oddities that they were currently dealing with.

Xisuma had sat up, but he wasn’t going to try to stand,” Who all is here?” He could tell that others were there, but he couldn’t figure out who all was there since no one had spoken and he still couldn’t see anything. Keralis had gotten up and was slowly making his way over to Xisuma, he figured that Xisuma was asking since he still couldn’t see, which meant Xisuma might need some help getting around,” Well, there is me, you, Joe, and two people that I do not know the names of...” Then Keralis looks at Dream again,” But I believe, unless my gorgeous eyes are fooling me, that you are Dream, yes?” Dream nods, focused on making sure his mask was all good and far too aware of the fact that he couldn’t talk.

“He’s Dream and my name is Tubbo.” Tubbo gives a small smile as he makes his way over to Dream, wanting to stick by the person that he knew in all of this. “And he’s been having trouble talking so I guess I’ll be speaking for the both of us?” Tubbo looks at Dream and Dream nods again, at least Tubbo was someone that Dream knew he could trust with speaking well for the both of them. Some people may think that Tubbo would not be the best choice to speak for them, but Dream had paid attention to Tubbo when he spoke. Tubbo could speak far better than a lot of people would like to think that he can, he just needs to be talking about the right thing.

Xisuma frowned upon hearing Tubbo’s words, Dream wasn’t supposed to be here and neither was Tubbo. If Dream was here then this meant a problem that was out of the realm of himself by a long shot. Dream was currently thinking something similar, knowing that if a problem like this had occurred then it meant that some was wrong. Both of their minds went to the same place after these thoughts, to their friends. Were they okay? Was anyone hurt? Had anybody been blinded or muted like Dream and Xisuma had been?

Luckily enough, none of their friends had been harmed, at least not physically. Though they wouldn’t find that out until later. While Xisuma, Dream, and their group tried to really figure things out, groups all over the place were beginning to wake up and realizing that things were wrong. That they were not in their respective SMPs anymore.

As people began to wake up and realize that things were wrong, one very lucky group got a much better wake up than the rest of them did.

This group beginning the group of TFC, Jev, xB, Purpled, Punz, Ponk, Alyssa, Callahan and Hypno. They woke up in the Shopping District, specifically right outside of the Town Hall. As they each woke up, beginning to look around to see where they were, they noticed the people that they were around. Purpled popped up from behind some of the bushes near the diamond trees and Ponk and Punz followed suit, looking like the Three Stooges for a moment.

Jev, xB, and Alyssa had woken up near the bottom of the stairs that led up to the entrance of the Town Hall and were trying to get up without falling down the stairs because they were all a little dizzy, though they couldn’t quite figure out why. Callahan and Hypno had woken up the furthest from Town Hall of the group, waking up in the middle area between the two boards in the middle of the main road. Which wouldn’t of been too bad, but when Callahan went to get up, he fell over and they jingling sound that the bells from his outfit made was pretty funny to hear.  

TFC had woken up in front of the Nether Portal that led to and from the Shopping District, which was currently a broken portal, and was trying to get himself up off the ground since he didn’t have his tools to help him get up. Luckily for TFC, the wonderful trio of the Three P’s had made their way over to help him since they could tell that he was struggling. TFC did accept the help, because he knew that he was most likely going to need it. Purpled helped him up since he got there first, while Ponk and Punz sort of stood back a little incase their help wasn’t needed.

“Does anybody know where we are right now?” Callahan signs this as he steadies himself, having finally gotten up without tripping again. Jev had made it to the end of the stairs, so he spoke up,” Yeah. We’re in front of the Town Hall in the Shopping District…but I get the feeling that you guys don’t know that because you’re not from this neck of the woods.” The others from the Dream SMP shared a look, they were all a bit confused, but they nodded.

“Yeah…you guys are from Hermitcraft though, right?” Ponk speaks up, he had seen some of them before from when they would go to MCC, since they’d be there to cheer on the members of the Dream SMP while the others would be there to cheer on those from Hermitcraft. “Yeah, that’s where we are now…which makes me wonder how you guys got here.” xB was wondering if something had gone wrong within the two worlds, maybe an accidental glitch that had caused a temporary collision?

“Do you think the others are okay?” Alyssa asks this from where she had sat down on the steps,” Dream looked like he was in pretty rough shape, but then again I think we all kind of did once we hit the ground.” Those from Hermitcraft looked at Alyssa, surprised by her words. “If I had to make a guess, you all blacked out after being hit with a wave of pain?” TFC had been led to one of the little benches outside Town Hall and was sitting down as he spoke. The members of the Dream SMP could only nod, all of them beginning to get a bit worried as to what was going on.

“Hey…” Callahan signs this, he looked like he had been thinking about something for a minute,” If we got separated like this, do you think the others are in groups like this? Or do you guys think we’re the unlucky ones that just got separated from the rest of them?” The group could only wonder this as they tried to think of ways to contact the group, which was made all the more difficult by the realization that the communicators weren’t working.

As the group within the Shopping District tried to figure things out, another group was waking up just near the valley of Tatooren, in the part of the mesa that was right by the jungle where the Jungle Crew’s respective bases were. This group consisted of Wels, False, Niki, Techno, and Tango, who had a pretty solid awaken compared to some of the groups. They woke up in a clearer spot of the mesa, though the sun was beating down on them like all hell, which was not idle, especially for Techno since he wears about four layers on his top half alone…aesthetic doesn’t save you when the sun beats down like that.

As they woke, the first thing they noticed was the heat, then they noticed one another. Getting into a sitting position was pretty difficult, but Wels was actually the first one who managed to sit up, which was impressive given the usual knights armor that he wore. As he looked around at the people laying around him, his eyes widened a little when he saw Niki and Techno. “Um…hi?” He was confused and also very aware of how hot he was thanks to the armor. 

“Hi.” Niki managed to sit up before Techno, which wasn’t too hard to do cause he currently looked like a turtle who was trying to get off of their shell. Which would’ve been pretty fun if it weren’t for the slight fear that Wels felt towards Techno cause he has heard plenty about him and he’s seen him in MCC. If there’s anyone that could genuinely go toe-to-toe with False, the best fighter they had, it was Techno, and that was a terrifying thought.

Tango had sat up and was helping False sit up, though once he saw Techno, his eyes got real wide, which was a bit insane given how big his already were naturally. “False, punch me.” Tango says this in the most serious tone he could possibly speak with. False raises an eyebrow at Tango, concerned,” Why?” She glances at Techno, it was just Techno, he wasn’t even that scary to her. “Because I’m seeing Technoblade in front of me so I’m probably hallucinating and even if I’m not then I don’t wanna be awake cause he is terrifying.”

“Glad to know that just by laying down and existing I bring some level of fear.” Techno finally sits up, with some help from Niki. “Ignore Tango, he’s being a fool.” False looks at Techno, she and him got along pretty well whenever they would run into one another at MCC, plus they both had acknowledged how strong the other person could be. “It’s fine, happens all the time…but uh…do you know where we are?” Techno tries to stand, helping Niki up as he does so.

“I’m pretty sure we’re still in Hermitcraft, if that helps.” Wels says this as he gets up, heading over to False and Tango so he can help them both up. “Hermitcraft?” Niki frowns, this was not good at all, they couldn’t afford something like this in the middle of a war,” But me and Techno were on the Dream SMP only a moment ago…how’d we end up here?” False frowns at Niki’s words, so something must’ve gone wrong on the SMP end and on the Hermitcraft end. “By chance, did you guys hit with waves of pain? Like ridiculous pain that made you double over where you were standing pain?” False asks this as she and Tango get up with Wels help.

“Yep. I’m guessing the same happened to you guys?” Techno sighs, taking off his cloak as he does so and folding it over his arm. He always hated mesas, got too hot and meant he had to drag his clothes along instead of wearing them. “Yes.” Tango tried not to think too hard about the fact that he was talking to Techno, cause he’d seen him at MCC’s, but he had been way too scared to actually ever speak to him. Techno was a legend for quite a few reasons, but the one that stuck out the most to Tango was the fact that he was a PvP god.

“Alright. So safe to assume that something has happened, maybe something happened to the code or there was a crash somewhere that couldn’t be handled because our dear friends who could handle it were too busy being doubled over in pain.” Techno suggests this as he looks around, trying to figure out where they could go form here. “So maybe our best course of action would be to head somewhere that we could all meet up at? Be able to figure out what happened?” Wels figured that if they could all meet up, they’d be able to at least figure out how everyone else faired.

“Sounds like a solid plan to me, Niki, you in?” Techno looked over at Niki, who had this strange look on her face. She was looking around, like she was looking for something. “Niki?” Techno would’ve raised an eyebrow, if he had had any that were visible. “Do you not hear that?” Niki looks at Techno and the others. What could she be hearing that would’ve gotten that reaction from her? Techno was gonna tell her no, that he couldn’t hear whatever it was that she was hearing, but then he did hear it. It sounded like crying, like a high-pitched sort of crying that made him wonder how Niki had heard it given that he knew he had better hearing than she did.

The other three was looking at Niki and Techno were absolutely mad…and then the sound got louder. It was coming from the jungle nearby. “We need to check that out.” Niki sounded worried, something about that sound was hitting her heart in a very particular way that she could not quite describe. She starts heading over to where they heard the sound coming from and the others followed suit because part of them were curious, but some were worried about what the sound could lead them too.

As they got closer, the sound became clearer. It wasn’t as high pitched as it had originally sounded, but it was definitely crying. It sounded almost like a…baby? But why would a baby be out here? Neither SMP had any babies in it, so what could be making that noise? As they tried to think of what it was, they came upon one of those jungle trees that was real low to the ground, the leaves were about a block above the ground, leaving a block tall gap between the leaves and the ground…and in that gap was whatever was making the noise.

Niki takes a step forward, now being the one closest to the tree as she bends down and takes a look to see what’s under the tree…and what she sees make her eyes widen, though the tone she uses when she speaks is soft,” Hello little one, what on earth are you doing down there?” The crying had stopped once Niki had appeared, now they could hear what almost sounded like a cooing noise. It sounded like a baby, but what could it be? “Techno, can you hand me your cloak, please?” Niki glances over her shoulder at Techno, who nods and hands her the jacket.

Niki was careful, gently moving as she took the cloak and made sure it was placed well in her hands before she reached into the little gap,” It’s okay little one, no one is going to hurt you…I just want to get you out from under there, okay?” In response, the thing in the gap makes another small cooing noise. She manages to take the cloak and wrap it around the thing in the gap, making sure it was wrapped up nice and tight before she gently pulls it out from under the tree. The others couldn’t quite see what was wrapped up in it, but whatever it was clearly wasn’t dangerous since Niki didn’t seem too scared of it.

“Hello little one.” Niki speaks softly, moving the bundle in her arms so she was holding it like a baby. Tango was the first one to take a step forward,” What is it?” The others were glad he had asked since they were wondering what it could possibly be. “I’m not quite sure…maybe you can tell me?” Niki moves the bundle a bit and offers it to Tango, who carefully accepts it from her, being careful as he holds the bundle like Niki had. He moves the cloak around until he can see the things face and his eyes widen at what he sees.

“Jrumbot?”

[evolutionsvoid]

Sometimes it feels like the world of natural history was built by ancient pranksters who vowed to make life for future researchers as difficult as possible. How else can one explain the utter insanity of naming conventions for both flora and fauna? What else could be the reason for the decades of classification attempts that are foiled at every turn? It seems that every other species I encounter or research has a name that makes zero sense (or is misleading) or its design and makeup makes it impossible to fit into a clear lineage. And let us not even get started on the involvement of magic! It is just a labyrinth of bizarre choices and concepts that baffles me to this day, but I guess it is part of the reason why I even got into this line of work. Maybe if things were so simple and clean, I would not have even gotten interested in this field, so I guess I can't harp on it too much. It provides challenge, intrigue and speculation, which I do enjoy quite a bit, but sometimes one must admit there is silliness in certain things. Like why does one clam species have "duck" in its name, and why is a large turtle called a "bird?" That last question is of course a reference to the Hammer Birds that live upon the arid continent. They are found in deserts and canyons, their very appearance matching the stony, dry imagery of these lands. They spend most of their time either alone or in small groups, with most "flocks" reaching the maximum size of four individuals. They roam across the dry lands in search of vegetation and fruits to graze upon. Hammer Birds are mainly herbivorous, but some have seen them nabbing the occasional lizard or fleeing rodent. Cactus and other plump plants are a favorite dish, as they use their strong beaks to tear out chunks and ward off needles. These same mouth parts are invaluable when it comes to fruits or roots that are not so squishy. Tough rinds and shells are no match for their beaks, and if their jaws don't do the trick, a few hearty headbutts will. Since I mentioned the word "beak" I feel that I should explain why I dislike the name Hammer Birds. If you were to take a look at these creatures, you would indeed see why people call them "birds." They have a beak, a long neck, large legs that would fit a cockatrice and reduced forelimbs that are always seen on flightless birds. With all that in mind, I understand where the misconception came from, but it still is a bit annoying. This is because Hammer Birds are actually more related to tortoises than any bird. You probably noted the large humped shell on their back, which is a staple for this family. Turtles and tortoises also have beak-like mouths, which fits with the maw of the Hammer Bird. So in truth, they should be called "Hammer Turtles" or something like that, but the damage has already been done and the name has already become too ingrained into society. Plus people always have a hard time associating these creatures with tortoises, particularly due to their speed. With long hind legs and a counter weight tail, they can break into sprints of impressive speed. Surely a turtle could never move so fast! All the fables and stories say that tortoises are slow, so they must all be! My irritation aside, Hammer Birds also get their name from their spiky beaks that give the impression of a horn or casque. This sharp curved structure is more like a horn, as it is solid and strong. This is used when it comes to cracking open tough fruits and nuts, as they thrust their heads forward and smash the stubborn morsel to pieces! This action is powered by their necks, which are packed with muscle and are capable of moving at incredible speeds. It is similar to many other turtles, who can stretch their necks out much longer then one would expect! By combining their strength with these tough horns, they can crack open shells or send a foe flying! Obviously such a handy tool can double as a weapon, and the Hammer Birds do not hesitate to use it. When threatened, they will try to run away, but if they are cornered, they can become powerful opponents. Their heads will retract into their shell, protecting their vulnerable necks. As the predators move in, it will aim to keep itself facing towards the foe, waiting for them to come closer. When one takes a step too far, that spiky mace of a face will launch out and deliver a paralyzing blow! The force of this impact can easily break bone, and many foolish folk have stumbled away from an angry Hammer Bird with a bunch of cracked ribs. A strike to the head can knock someone out cold, or just knock them dead, so don't get any funny ideas around this species. If a Hammer Bird has its head retracted and is letting out a warning hiss, move back. Fast.   Their ramming defense also plays a part when it comes to claiming mates. When breeding season rolls around, Hammer Birds will come together to find a potential partner. Males will fight over females, using their horns to knock their opponent around. The aim of the game is to knock the challenger off their feet, which is a sign of strength and superiority. The winner will claim the female, until the next foe approaches. When all is said and done, the female shall lay a clutch of six hard shelled eggs. These nests will be dug out from the hot sand, which will do all the incubating. Even with that, the female shall guard the nest until the young hatch, batting away predators with horn and tail. The resulting young will follow their mother around, gaining protection and food through her presence. Since they don't have the strength to crack open tough fruits, they will leave that work to mom. In time they will part ways, and they shall face the dangers of the desert alone. Hammer Birds are quite well known by many cultures, as their impressive horns and aggressive defenses are hard to miss. Their shells and plates are valued for lightweight armor and shielding. In lands where metal is not in abundance, their tough hides and shells are used instead to craft armor. Their butting heads are a popular image when it comes to weaponry, as many hammers, axes and maces have been crafted in their likeness. As for food, Hammer Birds have proven to be more trouble than what they are worth. Humans, dryads and others have found that taking down one of these beasts is way too risky for the amount of meat one gets. I do recall a while ago that a certain group of farmers were looking to use this species as livestock. In theory, a domesticated Hammer Bird would be much calmer and a lot easier to cull. After several broken bones, multiple concussions and dozens of wrecked fencing, these folk quickly gave up this prospect. Better to stick with Common Cockatrices than these armored, angry beasts. Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian ----------------------------------------------------------------- It took me a while to post this one, as I realized I should draw an example of what they look like with neck extended. Much procrastination followed, and finally here we are!