#Turn The Lights down Low
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Bobby Valentino - Lights Down Low
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sometimes i look at my recently searched on apple music and wonder if i am ok
the answer is usually probably not
#not a tag#from saph#look if you don’t turn into an immediate frat boy when listening to lights down low then i hate to break it to you but we simply cannot be#friends#those are the rules
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Narumi before his grand entrance in ep 12
#True gamer can grind with face down#gonna reduce eyestrain#(but turning light on isn't an option)#kn8 fanart#faldrawskn8#narumi gen#guess what I'll continue counting#Kn8animeCopium#Day 2#low energy morning doodle#gen narumi
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A familiar stranger...
My entry for the 'Steel & Mirrors' 11 Year Anniversary contest
After Aoi's reveal at PAX, I knew I wanted to do a piece involving Proto-Mesa and what I think she might look like. Then the inspiration I got from the prompt was too good to pass up
Happy 11 Years of Warframe!
#warframe#warframe fanart#warframe mesa#warframe proto-mesa#this one came down to the wire due to personal stuff#but im glad i was able to finish it in time#AND im really happy with how it turned out#its been a hot minute since ive done a piece in low-light with extreme lighting#but its always satisfying to look at once all the rendering is done#my art
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‘that hit the spot!!!! this shop really does have some damn good karaage!!! i gotta bring jyushi and hitoya here next time!!!!’
———————
and since the ssrs come with a bonus story, kuukou’s was him actually doing just that lol, he took jyushi and hitoya out to his karaage stop except the store was closed when they pulled up. it was closed for actually terrifying reasons, but it’s not like kuukou knew that lol so this boy 😭😭😭😭😭 just went and broke into the karaage shop 😭😭😭😭
#vee queued to fill the void#I NEED A HYPDREAM TAG GODDAMN IT#kuukou is so funny in this game lol#in his defence the door didn’t seem to be locked lol but he just opened the door and walked on in despite the sign saying it was closed LOL#mans wanted his karaage 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i have been having a lot of fun with hypdream lol#it’s basically an afk game for me lmao i just prop it up and let the battles play and reap rewards#but there was a stage on the 2️⃣🐴 event that was kicking my ass 😭😭😭😭 it’s not the best match up lol but the more i watched those failures#the more i went ‘um??????? actually???????’ and decided to do it myself#it was so sick lol it was down to kuukou and ramuda and i had just taken out the mini boss leaving the last grunt#kuukou was low on health but his punchline attack i thought would be strong enough to take out the last guy and lmao jokes on me#the punchline just sealed the enemy’s moves and did no damage so kuukou went down the very next turn 😣#but his final move wound up being a gift for humanity LOL the enemy was unable to do jack shit like kuukou sealed EVERYTHING#so the enemy’s turn just kept getting skipped and ramuda was able to finish him off IT WAS SO COOL LOL#KUUKOU CAME IN CLUTCH DESPITE MY FUMBLING THANK YOU KUUKOU THIS IS WHY YOURE THE LIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE
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do you guys ever have days where you’re just absolutely losing
#cause me today#tmi below if you’re a pussy#but here’s my day so far#woke up with a uti#AWWWW 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 killing myself#went to urgent care to get antibiotics#97 minute wait and my only airpod that i brought dies abt 20 minutes in#the book i kept in the car for exact situations like this wasn’t there so i had to read my second backup#bc my phone was dying obviously why wouldn’t it#went back peed in the cup got my rx#got to the pharmacy the minute after they close for lunch#so i said fuck it im getting comfort food#as im driving to this local chain that has my comfort food jm waiting at a light#at this light there’s a turn lane that’s a little cramped and i’m in an suv right now#this elderly man nearly hits my car and then WAGS HIS FUCJING FINGER AT ME#LIKE IM THE ONE DOING SOMETHING WRONG#WHAT ARE YOU LATE FOR YOUR DYING APPOINTMENT???#then the restaurant has a line out the door so i say fuck that not getting food i guess#as i’m driving back to the pharmacy my low tire pressure light turns on#i inflate my tires (the last one i checked was the one with low pressure btw i know you were curious)#pick up my prescription#and then almost hit a squirrel as i pull out#HOW#HOW DOES THIS HAPPEB#i’m going to lie down in the dark and just try again tmrw#off my rocker
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youtube
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#seventh doctor#crispy!master#beevers!master#doctor x master#big finish#dw#so like. it can't just be me who thinks this is. uh. sexual. right. right?#the lights are turned down low. i can feel you standing over me. why don't you take me—#i mean. take my life. & end this game we've been playing#(from 'master')
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?
I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?
Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)
And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.
So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)
If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.
This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.
And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.
This is leaving out two crucial things, though.
Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.
The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."
This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.
Which is the second point: change in status
Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)
This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.
Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.
But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.
If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.
Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.
Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators
They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.
The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.
Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.
And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.
But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.
His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.
Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!
The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.
And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.
And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.
#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough#he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day#he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders#he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately#like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down#it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy#but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place#I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice#people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him#and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell#but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power#he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it#'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs meta#? sorta#feels too ranty to call meta#this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others#makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do#long post with long tags
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Normal Vulcan Pajamas
#Tuvok#Tuvok art#st voyager#st voyager art#bea art tag#Tuvok in this outfit and lighting candles - turning the lights down low: Literally WHAT is your problem. This is THERAPY.#[Tuvok Voice] Red Alert. -comm badge noise- Captain. We Are Receiving Reports That There Are Indeed Whores Within This House.#Janeway: [tsk] Damn. [stands quickly] Chakotay you're with me. And commander? You're gonna want a bucket and a mop.#now the real question: Does Tuvok REALLY not understand or is he just trying to make [YOU] look gutterbrained??#[YOU] in this case is whatever person he's talking to.#Me - a gay person: Tuvok's hand vein is sooo important its so important its so important guys you don't understand
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#brown eyes are literally so beautiful i’m#look i wouldn’t say i have a type in people physical appearance wise but if theres one superficial feature#i’ve always been a sucker for#like since forever#and especially in recent times#😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫 brown eyes bro#not like my shade of brown i got the regular asian soulless black eyes (fine and all but not what i’m talking bout)#and ion mean amber (ok geralt of rivia)#just this specific shade that looks dark in low light but turns honey golden brown in sunlight yk#hazel brown??#auughhhhhhhhhh#i feel weak i wanna throw up and die#‘ass or tits?’ idk but fs i simp for brown eyes#i actually feel weak fr tho#im really hungry i’m craving some oreos and a glass of cold milk#but i feel too lazy to bike all the way to 7-11#too hungry to study#too weak to buy oreos#not allowed to sleep or god will strike me down for my sloth#i shall perish#[data redacted] called me to discuss midterms but i didn’t pick up cuz i told him we’d be on discord tmr#tonight i wanted to study alone#feel a little bad but whatever i don’t gotta keep making every exception for u#go talk to someone else bout computer architecture tonight#i’m tired#u can look at all girls u want bitch but u can’t get any of em. keep looking#i pull more girls than you#went bowling after today’s midterm. not so bad for my first time although#those things are heavy as fuck#i have a headache
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^ mink car
#everyone go listen to mink car today :) it's mink car's birthday :)#go play a melody and turn the lights down low so that none can see! you gotta do that gotta do that!#or learn how to cyclops rock. or um. hold on i need to think of other lyrics to be annoying about in my tags.#BABY CHECK THIS OUT IVE GOT SOMETHINGGG TOOO SAYYYYY. go listen to mink car!!!#please listen to one of my fav albums or else youll end up with endless hopeless bleak despair.#pleaaaaaase im asking very niceys :)#anis gaymer moments#tmbg
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it's interesting being really into a pairing but in a "i don't want to watch them live happily ever after i wanna watch them absolutely break each other's heart :)"
#talking tag#my younger self is absolutely laughing at me rn like#''what do you MEAN you think /SUKI/ is a good character??????''#bc i'm pretty sure i remember me and all my friends didn't like her bc she was just ''generic pretty anime girl no 3 / sokka's boring gf''#i have since Seen The Light#look it's safe to say a character is turning into my fave when i'm sitting around going ''i wanna break them down to their lowest low''#//ALSO..............dumping some of my trauma onto her bc It's Me and maybe THAT'S the truest sign of being a favorite character dlkjgh
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