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acourtofwhatthefuck · 2 years ago

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Strawberries and Cream - (Nesta x Reader)

Hiiii! @greeneyedivy and I collaborated and wrote this piece for @azsazz's and @writingsbychlo's Starfall Week! This was SO much fun to write and we really hope you enjoy it!

The prompt we used was "Character A and Character B meet at Starfall"

Summary: Nesta doesn't care for Starfall and just wants to get away from the Inner Circle...which subsequently leads to an encounter that changes her life.

Word count: 5006

Warnings: SMUT! 🌶️

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Starfall.

It was all anyone had been talking about for weeks, and Nesta was sick of it.

There was no escaping it. If she wasn’t being subjected to the Inner Circle’s excited preparations, then walking the streets of Velaris was a sure way of reminding her of the occasion. She couldn’t turn a corner without seeing posters of businesses offering promotional offers, or catching a glimpse of the storefront decorations that had been hung. The entire thing was giving her a headache.

No, she didn’t care to watch the stars crash into each other, and no, she didn’t care what everyone would be wearing while they did. Even Elain had been sucked into the allure of the whole thing, but Nesta — Nesta saw it for what it was.

Unnatural. Just as unnatural as going from human to fae. She felt such a visceral hatred for the entire situation that it ached her bones.

She may have had no choice but to live on the other side of the Wall, now, but that didn’t mean she had to partake in the foolish traditions that existed there.

You’re still welcome to join us, Feyre had said, dressed up to the nines alongside the others. They were all heading to the House of Wind — the best place, apparently, to witness what was about to happen.

No, was all Nesta had responded, and they didn’t push any further, even as her sisters left with disappointment on their faces.

Nesta would create her own plans, she’d decided. And that was how she’d ended up in quite possibly the seediest tavern she’d ever seen, far across the other side of Velaris.

Her shoes had stuck to the floor as she’d traipsed in, and the groups of punters dotted about the place all looked up, drinking in her appearance, the chatter lowering a little. She lifted her chin, ignoring them as she took a seat at the bar, aware of hungry gazes that studied the outline of her figure in her dress. She could just as easily leave and find somewhere more upbeat and alive, but this…this was what she wanted. A place that could be any dingy, old tavern in the human lands, if she ignored the fae features around her. A place where she could pretend, at least for one night, that her new life was just one big nightmare.

So she ordered herself a drink and focused on the sensuous strum of a lute across the room.

The notes were charming and beautiful, soon transporting her to another life, another world, entirely. Nesta loved music — it was one of the very few things she still could love, and the setting didn’t matter as the tune climbed and fell, one song trailing off into the next. Her plans to down drink after drink seemed to fall to the wayside as she instead became distracted by the music.

Time ran away with her like that. She found herself able to push her thoughts away for the first time in a long while, and she nursed her drink and focused on anything but reality, and the dull sounds of soaring stars outside. Perhaps that was why she didn’t catch the sound of approaching footsteps, nor the fact that the music had come to a stop. The male voice that spoke to her was an unwanted obtrusion.

“Can I buy you another drink?”

She glanced up, finding a mildly handsome face smiling at her. The mess of blonde hair on his head and the piercing blue eyes did nothing for her. She stared back at him blankly, forcing herself to be polite.

“No,” she responded. “Thank you.”

“Come on.” The male persisted, sidling up to her. “There’s no sense in sitting there with an empty glass. Same again?”

“She said no, Mallas. Piss off.”

Both Nesta and Mallas looked up upon the third voice that was injected into the conversation. A female voice, slightly smoky and raspy. The sound seemed to skitter over Nesta’s skin like chills.

Her eyes took in the female that stood there, holding a lute as she stared down the male. In the dim faelights that lit the tavern, she looked…ethereal. Like the music she’d been playing moments before. Nesta couldn’t help staring.

“I was only offering.” Mallas mumbled, pushing past her. “Bitch.”

“Kiss my ass.” Her eyes watched him closely, tracking him as he returned to the group of deadbeats he mingled with. Only once he was sat back down did she turn back to Nesta. “You shouldn’t be here, Nesta Archeron.”

Nesta blinked, caught off guard for once. And then frowned at her. “Do I know you?”

“No.” She leaned against the bar. “But everyone here knows you. The sister of our High Lady should not be keeping company such as the dregs of society that loiter in this dive. And I would know — my uncle owns the place.”

Nesta lifted her chin. “I’m not some silly little girl. I can choose, for myself, whose company I keep, thank you very much.”

The female’s lips twitched into what appeared to be amusement. “Well, then.” She said. “Have a good night. And happy Starfall to you.”

With that, she turned, sidling around the bar. Nesta couldn’t help watching every tiny movement as the female hung her lute over her shoulder, whistling a merry little tune as she headed towards the door at the back.

“Wait.” She found herself blurting, and the female turned curiously. “I—you play the lute.”

The musician stared back at her, that same look of teetering amusement seeming to pass across her face. Nesta thought she might die from humiliation — beg the ground to swallow her up, or something. You play the lute. As if that wasn’t already obvious.

She just…she felt intrigued. Maybe even a little awed. Her body and mind felt more alert than it had in months — and that was just from a few seconds of conversation. She…she wanted more of it.

“I do.” The female answered. She angled herself back around, studying the oldest Archeron. “…you like music?”

“I love it.”

Chewing her lip, the female seemed to consider that for a moment. What, exactly, she was thinking, Nesta wasn’t sure. But she liked the way she looked at her…assessing and curious. Not the contempt she’d become used to. It made her body feel hot and cold.

“…Okay.” The female eventually said. “Then I have something you might like — if you care to see it.”

Nesta didn’t even hesitate. She shrugged, forcing nonchalance that she didn’t feel. “Why not?”

“Indeed.” The female’s hand shot out in offering. “My name is Y/N.”

Nesta shook that hand, entirely aware of the lightning strike that, in that moment, seemed to bring her back to life.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

“This is my home.” Y/N held a chipped, dented door open, stepping aside.

Nesta tried to school her expression as she wandered in. Not that she wasn’t used to small, modest houses, of course, but after months in Rhysand’s luxury, this place was…definitely not that.

A soft snort came from behind her, and Nesta glanced over her shoulder, kicking her shoes off. “What?”

“It’s no High Lord’s house, I grant you.” Y/N said, throwing her keys into a bowl beside the door. “But it’s home — my space.”

“I like it.” Nesta said, and she realised she was telling the truth.

With a smile, Y/N led her through to a small sitting room. The place was…colourful. Vibrant wall hangings and beaded curtains in doorways that led off to other places. Patchwork throws were draped over the sofas, and there were piles of books — titles that Nesta recognised, some she didn’t — and plants hanging from the ceiling and perched on shelves and standing in pots on the floor.

“You live here alone?” Nesta found herself asking, drinking in every detail.

“I do. My family is…complicated. I’d genuinely go insane if I didn’t have my own space.” Y/N hung her jacket up, and Nesta glimpsed the pretty, dark peplum blouse and tight breeches she wore. “Drink?”

She tore her gaze away. “Yes. Thank you.”

Y/N pushed through one of those beaded curtains, drifting into what Nesta assumed was a small kitchen. The sounds of cupboards opening and glasses clinking travelled through as Nesta slowly approached one of the sofas and perched down. She studied the coffee table before her — covered in pages and pages of parchment. And on them, she realised, music. Compositions.

The beads rustled again, and Y/N sat next to her, handing her a small glass of amber liquid. “I write it all myself — the music.”

“That’s incredible.” Nesta reached out, her fingers brushing over the indentations of ink on the pages. She couldn’t read any of it for the life of her, but…there was something beautiful about just studying the notes. Words tumbled from her lips before she could stop them. “Music is…an escape for me.”

“I get that.”

The two females had known each other barely an hour, and yet Nesta just knew — knew that Y/N did get it. That there was some sadness in the confession that she could relate to.

“Do you write just for yourself?” She asked, sipping her drink.

“For now.” Y/N nodded. “But I’d like to perform in the Rainbow one day — or at least hear my compositions being performed there. That’s my goal. To…to be different to what my family are. To break from that mould.”

“And what are they? Your family?”

With a soft laugh, Y/N placed her drink down and rose once more. “Well…that actually brings me to what I was going to show you.”

Nesta waited patiently, watching as the female strode over to a cabinet and rifled through. She was…beautiful, her hair flowing down her back, the cut of her figure through her clothes. For a moment, Nesta found her thoughts emptying, her mouth drying. She quickly looked away.

“This,” Y/N said, slumping back down with a small box in her palm, “is a Symphonia. Go ahead — take a look.”

Nesta stared at her for a moment, their gazes meeting. She cautiously outreached a hand, opening the box and peering inside. Her brow furrowed at the small, silver ball that sat within.

“You can take it out. I promise you’ll like it.”

Nesta’s long, slender fingers dipped into the box, carefully pulling the ball out. She set it down in her palm, realising that while the top was curved, the bottom had a smoother surface — to be set down without rolling, she supposed.

“What does it do?” She asked.

Y/N reached out, and Nesta jolted as she gently took her free hand. The two females stared at each other again, gazes not once faltering as Y/N guided her fingers to the top of the Symphonia.

“Just tap it.” She murmured, giving a light press. “Like this.”

Nesta jumped, her lips parting in pure astonishment as music suddenly filled the room, the small object breathing notes and symphonies into the air. She knew there was a whole wealth of magic that she was yet to encounter in Prythian — and had been hesitant to ever do so. But this…she never would have considered anything like this.

“How does it do that?” She breathed.

Y/N smiled. “It uses magic to trap the music inside so that it can be played back to you. Everything you hear is being played by me. I use it for music composition. It’s…a very rare object.

“Where did you get it?”

“…that’s where my family comes into it.” Y/N shifted a little uncomfortably, pulling her hand away. “I come from a family full to the brim with criminals. One of the things they deal in is rare magical objects. Usually, I try to distance myself from them and have nothing to do with them. I’d like to get away from them completely. But this…the Symphonia…it was the last thing my father gave me before he was killed.”

It was an effort for Nesta not to flinch, not to return to those harrowing thoughts of her own father. She swallowed, forcing herself to focus on the music.

“Stolen or not, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.” Y/N said. “Even if that makes me a terrible person.”

Nesta glanced up through her lashes, meeting her gaze. “It doesn’t.”

Again, the two females found themselves locked in their staring, the music floating around them. Unsaid words seemed to intertwine with it. Words that Nesta thought she might never have the courage to speak, but that made her skin tingle.

Eventually, Y/N smiled, prising the Symphonia from Nesta’s palm and placing it onto the coffee table. She held out a hand once more.

“Would you like to dance, Nesta Archeron?”

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

They did dance. And danced and danced and danced until their feet hurt. Until Nesta felt like a different person. And even as the stars completed their journeys across the skies, the two females showed no signs of tiring.

Nesta was drunk – not really on alcohol, no, even with the glasses they’d knocked back. She was drunk on elation. On…happiness. She’d never felt so on top of the world.

The Symphonia had given them three run-throughs of every piece of music before they were slumping back onto the sofa side-by-side, their heads swimming and eyes smiling, lips laughing. Their arms brushed, that zipping energy that had been sparking between them all evening still very much present.

It was enough to slow the pace down, to ground Nesta.

Her head still tilted back against the sofa, she angled it to find Y/N already gazing at her. Studying her. There had been a lot of glances like that as the night had wore on, only seeming to grow more heated and honeyed with every passing touch and word.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Nesta asked, not minding at all.

Y/N’s eyes traced the sharp, flawless lines of her face. A face that so many would deem cold and unfeeling, albeit beautiful. But there was more behind that facade…layers that Y/N wanted to peel back.

“I’m seeing you.” She replied.

The response wasn’t exactly what Nesta had been expecting; an odd, puzzling answer. She stared back at her, feeling strangely naked as she asked, “what are you seeing?”

“I’m seeing,” the female shifted, somehow inching closer. Their faces were mere centimetres apart, breaths mingling, “someone who is scared.”

Nesta didn’t react. Right – she was so damn right, it was painful. Nesta hated it, how vulnerable it made her. Still, Y/N went on.

“I’m seeing,” she continued, “someone who feels a huge volume of things, all at once. Someone who doesn’t know what the fuck to do with those feelings, but is expected to have it all figured out. Someone who desperately wants to let go and lose control, but is equally scared of doing so.”

The words were so accurate, hitting so close to home, that they robbed Nesta of breath. She’d spent months feeling isolated and alone and misunderstood, angry and hurt and like nobody fucking saw her.

And yet, she’d met a complete stranger who had managed to sum her up perfectly within hours of their first words.

It made her…made her want to keep feeling. No matter how terrifying that was.

She didn’t know what to say, how to respond. It seemed a bit strange to thank someone for accurately reading her, seeing her. There weren’t really any words–

So she gave in to the urge that had been building in her all night, as their bodies had danced closer and closer until they were moving in one, fluid unit. As their scents had mingled, and Nesta had got drunk on it.

She leaned forward, cupping Y/N’s cheek, and slanted her lips over hers.

It was like two puzzle pieces locking into place. Y/N didn’t hesitate to lean in to the kiss, reciprocating with as much enthusiasm. Her own hand moved up, tangling in Nesta’s hair.

They both tasted like the honey wine they’d been drinking, their tongues sweet as they began to explore each other. It was the first time Nesta had ever kissed another female, and it was different. Exciting. Right.

Their lips didn’t separate, even as their bodies began to move. Y/N was inching closer, angling herself over Nesta, and Nesta tentatively placed her hands on her waist, hoping it was the right thing to do, wondering if she was allowed to explore further.

Realising she wanted to.

Y/N nipped her lip gently, and then pulled back just slightly to study her face, their breaths hot and fast.

“I think that you’re probably used to being dominant, Nesta Archeron.” Her smoky voice caressed Nesta’s ears, her skin. “And I think you want to give up that control for once. That you’d like to know what it feels like to submit.”

A quick, short breath escaped Nesta’s lips. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm.” Lips coasted over her lips, her jaw, down to her neck. “Do you want to let go, Nesta?”

“Yes. Yes.”

Y/N smiled against her skin, pressing a kiss to the hollow of her throat. “Very well.”

Nesta didn’t know what to expect, but she knew her skin was deliciously on fire. Wetness was already pooling between her thighs, and the sure musk of arousal began to mingle with the sweeter scents in the air. Not just Nesta’s arousal, but Y/N’s too – and it only made Nesta wetter to know she was the cause.

“Relax.” Y/N whispered against the shell of her ear. “I’ll take care of you.”

It was only then that Nesta realised how rigid her body was – how she naturally tensed and threw her guard up to ward people off. But she didn’t want to do that. She wanted…wanted to let go, and experience everything that accompanied that bravery. To feel.

She forced her limbs to loosen into the sofa, the feeling in itself strangely pleasurable. Was this what it was like to experience pleasure for pleasure’s sake? Y/N was right – Nesta was used to being dominant. Every sexual encounter she’d engaged in had been about exacting control, feeling powerful. Having the command of things, as she did so rarely these days, in this new life.

But that didn’t mean she didn’t want to let go. And letting go was…euphoric.

“That’s it,” Y/N encouraged, as Nesta’s limbs loosened more. Her fingers began to skim over the buttons at the bodice of her dress. “Can I undo these?”

Nesta nodded once, quick. “Yes – please.”

If Nesta’s skin was fire, Y/N’s fingers were contrasting, delicious ice, as though one offset the other. Y/N didn’t fumble with the buttons like males always did. She undid them one by one, torturously slow, until the two halves of the dress were parting and exposing Nesta’s full, generous breasts to the cool air, her nipples immediately hardening.

And then Y/N was rocking back on her legs, hungrily drinking in the sight. She swallowed, glancing up to meet Nesta’s eyes. “You’re fucking exquisite.”

Nesta found herself blushing. But there was no time to feel coy as Y/N leaned in, capturing her lips once more.

The kiss was hungry, fierce, and even as Nesta’s body tried to take control, she gave over to the need to stop and feel. She cupped Y/N’s face in her hands, her thumbs stroking her cheeks as they kissed and kissed and kissed until they were both breathless. An ache was already building between her legs, and she pressed them together, moaning softly.

Y/N smiled, lips pulling away from hers to trail down and down, just as they had before. But they continued on further, brushing over the swells of Nesta’s breasts. One of her hands came up to knead one breast while her lips fastened on the nipple of the other.

The sensation was…unreal. Nothing like anything Nesta had felt before. Males had paid plenty of attention to her breasts, kissing and sucking and touching, but none of that came close to the feeling of Y/N’s tongue flicking over her nipple, her teeth grazing just slightly. Another, louder moan fell from Nesta’s lips, and her head fell back, her eyes screwing shut.

“Look at me.” Y/N hummed, moving to pay the same attention to the other breast. “I want to know that you’re enjoying this.”

Nesta’s chest heaved as her breath hitched. “I am. Gods, I am.”

Y/N smiled, and Nesta began to wonder if it was possible to come from the treatment her breasts were receiving alone. The sensations…every lick and suck, the bites and the subsequent kisses to the hurts they left behind…it was possible she might combust.

But then Y/N lips coasted further down, still. As far as they could go with Nesta’s gown still on. She pressed quick, gentle kisses to Nesta’s stomach, glancing up at her. “Can I take your dress off?”

“I think I may rip it off myself if you don’t.”

Y/N’s breathy laugh was music to her ears. A strange thought popped into her head that she’d happily trap the sound of that laugh within the Symphonia and listen to it over and over again. But all thoughts emptied from her mind as she lifted her body from the sofa, and deft hands and fingers were pulling the fabric away from her body, leaving her utterly exposed.

Nesta was a confident woman, well aware that she was beautiful, that her body was the envy of many. But as she slumped back down, her underwear the only thing left covering her, she found herself…worried. Worried that she wouldn’t be to Y/N’s liking.

She’d never once cared nor considered that with anyone before.

But the way Y/N stared at her put all those worries promptly to bed. That was fierce hunger in her eyes, her tongue swiping at her lip as her gaze trailed down and down, over Nesta’s breasts, her toned stomach, her sensuous hips and slender legs. And between those legs, the pulsing wet heat beneath her underwear. Her arousal drifted up to smother Y/N in its essence, and her eyes almost rolled back into her head.

“I repeat,” she said tightly, as though she was trying to hold herself back from devouring Nesta whole, “You’re fucking exquisite.”

Nesta swallowed, studying her just as fiercely. “Why don’t you show me what you look like under those clothes?”

“There’s plenty of time for that. But this is about you. All you.”

And Nesta couldn’t deny that she loved the sound of that. Even though she found herself strangely nervous, her body trembling slightly, her arousal only built and built as Y/N stepped closer again.

And dropped to her knees before her.

“Anything you don’t like,” Y/N said, her hands gently trailing up Nesta’s legs, “you tell me, okay?”

Nesta nodded. Swallowed. “Yes.”

“Good.” She leaned in, pressing a kiss to one of those long, luscious legs. Her lips coasted over the skin, smiling as Nesta seemed to gasp at the sensation. “Pretty as this underwear is, I’d much prefer it off.”

Nesta would much prefer it thrown out of the window, far out of sight. It was nothing but torturous friction rubbing against her. She gladly lifted her hips as Y/N’s hands climbed up, gripping the fabric with nothing but gentleness.

And then she was tugging them down, down until they were gone, discarded somewhere behind her.

The heady scent of Nesta’s arousal hit her like a wave; a wave she’d happily drown in. The scent was mouthwatering, and she had to steel herself, gather her thoughts before she unleashed herself on her entirely and drank in that wetness she so badly wanted a taste of.

“You smell incredible.” Y/N breathed, swallowing at the sight of her exposed, dripping centre. “I bet you taste even better.”

Nesta tracked every movement. “Are you going to find out?”

“Would you like me to?”

“Yes. Gods above, yes.”

“Then I will.”

The confirmation in itself had Nesta moaning – or perhaps it was the way Y/N hoisted one of those legs over her shoulder, her fingers gently dancing over her calf as her lips pressed small, quick kisses over the skin. Nobody had ever paid such attention to her like this. She wasn’t sure she’d ever let anyone do so.

But as Y/N lifted the other leg, allowing them both to rest on her shoulders, Nesta felt nothing but a potent mix of excitement and anticipation and bliss. She sank into the sofa, lifting her hips as Y/N kissed and nipped her way up to her thighs.

“You have such pretty thighs.” Y/N hummed, kissing the inside of one, and then the other. “Your skin reminds me of cream.”

Nesta released a breath, head falling back.

“And with every little mark I leave,” She nipped, nibbled, leaving trails of faint red marks that weaved a path right up to her centre. “It’s like strawberries and cream. Beautiful.”

Her lips, her tongue, were so close to where Nesta wanted them. To where Nesta wanted all of her. She was filled with new, frenzied thoughts, wondering what it might be like for them both to be naked, skin to skin, bodies moving in tandem with each other, Nesta’s sex rubbing against hers. She moaned, instinctively dragging a hand down her body, desperate for some sort of release.

“Pretty, pretty Nesta.” Y/N gently grasped that hand. Laced their fingers together. “Let me make you feel good.”

“Please,” Nesta begged softly, and Y/N struck.

Her face lowered to Nesta’s soaked sex, the grip on her hand immediately tightening as she breathed in her scent, her nose nudging her clit. She glanced up, drinking in the sight of flushed cheeks and parted lips and the firm, furrowed brow. And then she dipped, licking a stripe up the centre of her.

Nesta immediately gasped, her hips lifting off the couch. Again – that contrast of ice and fire. Y/N’s tongue was an inviting trail of coolness as she lapped at the damp heat of Nesta’s cunt. Nesta’s hand was clenching around hers, and her nails dug slightly in as Y/N’s tongue reached the apex of her thighs, swirling around the sensitive bud of her clit.

“Oh, gods,” Nesta moaned, throwing her head back. Every little lick and lap was like being touched for the first time. Attentive and giving and raw. Her heart moved at a thudding gallop inside her chest, seeming to jerk at every sensation.

“Is that good?” Y/N hummed against her, her teeth lightly grazing her clit.

“Yes. Fuck, Y/N, yes.”

Nesta could feel Y/N’s lips smiling against her. Her body trembled, fighting with the urges to both give and take as Y/N licked and nipped and sucked. But this was about giving over control – about taking. And as Y/N used her free hand to slowly slide a finger into her, she was happy to do just that.

“Doing so well for me.” Y/N breathed, pumping her finger in and out as Nesta’s juices coated her tongue. The taste had every one of her nerves alert and craving, and the moans she let out were certainly not for show as she fucking devoured. “Gods, you taste like sunlight.”

Never would Nesta have believed that anyone would describe her as sunlight. The praise felt just as pleasurable as the sensations as she reached out, threading her empty hand within Y/N’s hair. She gave a gentle tug, and Y/N grinned, sliding another finger into her.

She curled those two fingers inside of her, and the delicious ache that was beginning to build and pique, the feeling of those fingers and her tongue working inside her and against her–

“Fuck, I can’t–” Nesta’s hips lifted off the seat again, her head thrown back.

“You can let go.” Y/N lapped against her, pumping her fingers faster, harder. “Let go, Nesta. I’ve got you.”

Nesta did just that, a shout breaking from her throat as release overtook her body. She was nothing but pure, shaking, feverish pleasure as she came, hips bucking and legs trembling. She gripped onto Y/N’s hair, riding her release against her face.

Incredible, really, that Y/N didn’t falter once. Even as Nesta’s centre was grinding against her, practically smothering her, she seemed hungry for the whole thing, continuing the expert strokes of her fingers and tongue. And as Nesta’s trembling legs buckled and had her tumbling back onto the sofa, Y/N held her, kissing her thighs and stroking her hand still intertwined with hers.

Seconds or minutes or hours could have passed, and Nesta’s heart was still thudding, her ears ringing. When she’d regained enough sense to speak, she was weakly pulling on Y/N’s hand, tugging her up, up towards her. As soon as their faces were close enough, Nesta captured Y/N’s lips in a kiss, moaning at the taste of herself that lingered there.

“I want you.” Nesta breathed, pulling back just slightly. She stared at Y/N, swallowing, wondering – and knowing, deep down – what the fire was that had been lit inside of her. “I want — more.”

Y/N studied her face, the flushed cheeks and glazed eyes. She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Nesta’s mouth, and then she was tugging her to her feet. “So stay.” She said.

Nesta didn’t need to respond – not as Y/N pulled her from the room on shaking legs.

She felt more alive than she had in months. Than she thought she might ever feel again.

And for the first time in years – perhaps for the first time in her life – she felt like she’d found home.

✧: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *

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drbatsponge · 24 days ago

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Birds of Prey #1 Review!

I'll start this review by saying that yes this review can seem it's coming kind of late given this comic is now on 17 issues, but like I do reviews of comics on my own time, lmfao, and usually I like to start the beginning of the year with some Cass comic reviews and just decided to review the #1 issues of her most recent comics, lol.

Anyways, Birds of Prey #1 is quite fun, even if it isn't the old team that we're used to, I still think Kelly Thompson manages to make us fall in love with the newer team.

The first thing I immediately took notice of when reading this comic is that Kelly remembered Sin Lance, who is a character that many Black Canary fans might know hasn't appeared for quite some time in comics, so it was nice seeing confirmation of her existence again.

The next thing I took notice of was artist Leo Romero's stunning artwork.

He's working on the Spider-Man cartoon that comes out this year, and I can definitely understand why they got him, because his designs and art style are immaculate to say the least, lol.

Kelly Thompson already proves she has a really good understanding of Cass from how Dinah describes her, so I can already say that Kelly gets the Cass pass from me, lmfao. (I mean she's very much improved as well from reading some of the later issues, so yeah a big thumbs up.)

Of course, as a Cass fan, the best thing that I enjoyed about this first issue was OBVIOUSLY the relationship between Cass and Barda.

Really great dynamic and I'm glad it's become a staple in the series.

"Small Bat" is already an affectionate term towards Cass amongst Cass fans, so you can tell that the response to pairing these two was overwhelmingly positive.

Of course I would like to address a little bit of controversy with this issue too, that being Cassandra's fight with Harley... and honestly? I kind of like it, to me it's pretty comedic and it's not like it doesn't have context within Cassandra's history, if you read DC 1st Joker/Batgirl you would know that unpredictability is a way to throw Cass off her game.

(Also it's not like Cass doesn't struggle in the fight either, Harley doesn't beat her immediately, lol.)

Overall, I really liked this new Birds of Prey comic, it has some great Cass moments and I found the other characters to be respectively handled as well, a definite recommendation from me.

Well that's my Birds of Prey #1 review!

Another happy birthday to Cass, and as always stay tuned!

#cassandra cain #batgirl #big barda #dinah lance #harley quinn #zealot dc #black canary #sin lance #birds of prey #dc comics #comic review #casscainweek2025

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bun-lapin · 4 months ago

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Mayhem VS Mystery - Chapter 1

Summary: A mysterious letter arrives at Ramshackle and the first years assemble

Word Count: 1.2k Genre: Crack/Comedy Characters: Grim, Ace, Deuce, Jack, Ortho, Sebek, (oc) Yuna & Yuuji (intro post here) CW: swearing, halloween costumes, friendly bickering

A/N: The beginning of my first Halloween fic featuring the first years and my Yuu OCs where they pull a variety of pranks at NRC! The teachers will also get some screen time! Stay tuned~! <3

Next Part - Fic on AO3

Deuce looks over at Ace with a puzzled frown and asks, “Do you know why they wanted us to come over today? I’ve probably got at least fifty messages from them bugging me about it.”

Ace flips over the doormat in front of Ramshackle Dorm’s main entrance and picks up a small key. After unlocking and opening the door, he shrugs at Deuce and answers, “No idea. Your guess is as good as mine.”

They walk into the rundown, little building and make their way towards the lounge. Seated on the various couches and arm chairs around the room are their fellow first years: Jack, Epel, Ortho, and Sebek. Standing next to the lounge’s nondescript coffee table, Yuna, Yuuji, and Grim seem to be carefully studying a black colored envelope.

Looking up at the two Heartslabyul students, Yuna dryly remarks, “Look who decided to finally show up. Also, thanks for breaking and entering!”

Ace plants his hands on his hips and retorts, “Ya know, it’s not really breaking and entering if I used a key to get in here. You need to find a better hiding spot for that thing.”

Deuce shakes his head with a small sigh and asks, “Why did you two call us over so urgently? Did something happen?”

Yuna wordlessly holds up the black envelope for everyone to see. Opening it, she takes out a letter printed on expensive looking card stock and begins to read aloud.

“Dear residents of Ramshackle Dorm, in the week leading up to Halloween, I commission you to create as much mayhem as possible on campus. Bodily harm is not permitted but you may cause as much property damage as you'd like. The end goal of your work is to cause Night Raven College to be shut down for Halloween. In the event of your success, 10,000 thaumarks will anonymously be sent to you as a reward.”

Yuna looks up and glances over at her fellow isekai adventurer, “10,000 thaumarks? Is that a lot? What’s the conversion rate here?”

Yuuji scoffs and answers dismissively, “Ugh! Don’t ask me, I’m gay. Can’t do math.”

“Bullshit! You’re ranked second in our class, you nerd!”

Turning up his nose with a small pout, Yuuji defiantly replies, “Fine! I’m gay and I won’t do math! Happy?!”

Yuna opens her mouth to continue arguing, but Ace smoothly steps in between the two of them and put his hands up in a placating motion. “Alright! We get it! It’s a lot of money,” he says in a loud voice. Raising his eyebrows skeptically, he continues, “But why did you call so many of us here? Now that we know about this deal, you’ll all get a smaller cut of the reward.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Yuna replies, “Considering there’s only one person in Ramshackle Dorm who can use magic, I figured it’d be too difficult to spread full scale mayhem across campus. That’s why I called you, Epel, and Ortho to help us out!”

Deuce, Jack, and Sebek exchange confused glances. Politely clearing his throat, Jack gestures to the group of three and asks, “If that’s the case, what are we doing here?”

Yuuji raises his hand and answers Jack, “Actually, I’m the one who called you guys here.” Walking over to Yuna, he snatches the paper from her hands and reads the rest of the letter aloud.

“For those not wishing to cause mayhem, you may try your best to locate me, your mysterious benefactor, and hand me over to the authorities. In that unlikely event, you will still receive half of the promised money and zero risk of academic retribution."

Glancing up from the letter, Yuuji explains to the room, “I’d rather not do anything that could cause us to be kicked out of school. Especially since we’re from another world and literally have no where else to go.”

Yuna lets out a short cough that sounds like, ‘Nerd!’

Ace coughs out, ‘Fun police!’

The two of them grin mischievously and then high-five each other.

Yuuji closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. In a voice filled with barely restrained fury, he says, “Would all of the good and responsible students please follow me so that we can begin our investigation??”

Turning swiftly on his heel, he exits the room followed dutifully by Jack, Sebek, and Deuce.

After waiting for the door to softly click shut, Yuna then turns to the remaining students and claps her hands together decisively. With an excited grin, she states, “Alright! Time to put on our costumes!”

~~~

Shifting the wooden oni mask over her face, Yuna knocks on the bathroom door and calls out, “Hurry up, Epel! Everyone else is already dressed!”

Epel’s muffled voice yells back through the door, “I’m goin’ as fast as I can! Y’all just hold on to yer britches!”

Yuna tilts her head, “...Britches?”

Wearing a black and white striped sweater and a black ski mask, Ace gestures towards Yuna’s costume and asks, “While we’re waiting, care to explain what you’re supposed to be? Are you some kinda demon?”

“Close! I’m a Namahage,” Yuna replies and strikes a menacing pose, her straw cape rustling softly around her small frame. “It’s a type of demon from my world that punishes naughty or lazy children. Yuuji’s dad would sometimes dress up as one and try to scare me and Yuuji when we were little.”

Grim taps his paw against Yuna’s leg and says, “Sorry to cut the cultural lesson short, but why am I dressed as a stinkin’ toy!?” Completely covering his entire head is a fuzzy, brown teddy bear mask with an adorable expression. Covering the rest of his body, Grim wears a full-body pajama suit made of the same fuzzy, brown fabric. In fact, if it wasn’t for the extremely cranky voice coming behind the mask, Grim would be indistinguishable from a super cute teddy bear plushie.

Yuna shrugs her shoulders apologetically and answers, “Sorry, buddy! If we’re gonna get away with massive property damage, we need costumes that completely disguise who we are! And since you’re the only student on campus that’s a small, magical cat-creature with flaming ears, it’s vital we totally cover up the fact that it’s you.”

Ace gestures over towards Ortho and remarks, “That explains Ortho’s costume then. He’s probably the second-most recognizable student on campus! Ya know, with him being a robot with flaming blue hair and all?”

Completely covered by a white bed sheet with two cutout eye-holes, Ortho wiggles his hands under the sheet and says with a playful laugh, “Hey! I’m not a robot! I’m a spooky ghost~!”

Floating past the small group, the resident Ramshackle Dorm ghosts give Ortho a sidelong glance. The smallest of the ghosts whispers to the others, “I’d almost be highly offended if that costume wasn’t so darn cute!” The other two ghosts nod silently in agreement.

Finally opening the bathroom door, Epel steps out and says, “Alright! I’m done! What do ya’ll think of my bona fide scarecrow costume?” He lifts his arms, clad in a red checkered shirt and denim overalls, into a scarecrow-like pose. Over his head is a burlap sack with rough, zigzag stitches hastily sewn over two frayed eye-holes and a gaping mouth.

The group stares at Epel in silence for a few minutes.

Dropping a heavy hand on Epel’s shoulder, Yuna gives him a thumbs up and simply states, “It’s fucking terrifying.”

(To be Continued)

Next Part

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst writing #twst fanfic #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #ortho shroud #sebek zigvolt #twst grim #twst yuu #twst oc #yuu oc #oc: yuuji han #oc: yuna linh #bun-lapin écrit #bun oc

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dethronetheveil · 11 days ago

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Bet on Me- Chapter Two

Synopsis: When Freya’s band gets invited to be an opener on Bad Omen’s EU tour, she is both thrilled and extremely nervous. Meanwhile, the boys in Bad Omens decide to have some fun, specifically involving Freya and Folio. Some bets are involved and some group conspiring. What will come of Freya’s time with Folio and the boys?

Characters: OC [Freya] x Folio

Word Count: 934

Tag List: @foliosgirl , @dsireland86 , @lacy1986 , @dominuslunae , @ladyveronikawrites [let me know if you’d like to be tagged in the next part!]

Trigger Warnings: Cursing [let me know if I missed anything!]

— —

“Folio, Dude, I am begging you to stop beating on the table. Please,” Noah begged from across the tour bus.

Folio tuned back into the movement of his own fingers, realizing he had been slamming his metal spoon against the six by six “dinner table” in front of him. “Sorry guys, I think I zoned out,” he responded quickly, whilst throwing the spoon across the hardwood floor as a way to appease the guys.

“You think? You’ve been doing that shit for the past like ten minutes,” Noah responded, kicking the spoon back in Folio’s direction with a light chuckle.

“Oh no, don’t fucking kick it back towards him. You’re just giving him ammunition,” Jolly piped in, walking into the main area of the bus, emerging from the back.

Folio put his hands up in surrender, “Fine, if my drumming bothers you guys so bad, then I guess I’ll never do it again,” he responded with a playful eyebrow raise.

“Good, maybe then I can get some fucking sleep,” Nick responded from the bunks. He then emerged from the top bunk, rubbing his eyes as if on queue. He sat where the rest of the guys were congregated and ran his fingers through his hair absentmindedly.

“Dude, you’re just lucky you have the top bunk. I can feel every fucking time you move,” Folio finally responded, trying to change the subject from his drumming habits.

With a yawn and a cheeky grin, Nick just nodded. Folio looked around at the other two guys. He could tell everyone was tired, but no one wanted to concede. Folio thought it would be worth it to try and start up another conversation to try and re-energize everyone, “So, what did everyone think of the girls?”

Noah and Jolly answered in unison, “Soph is hot.” Nick just nodded in agreement, and then added, “I think G is also cute.”

Jolly chuckled and added, “I also wouldn’t mind spending some time with Luna.”

“Dude she seemed pretty into you,” Noah added, backhanding Jolly’s bicep.

Jolly let out another chuckle and then the room went silent. It was as if everyone was thinking the same thing but no one wanted to say it out loud.

Noah and Jolly let out a breath, while Nick snorted a bit, “I don’t think the blonde one liked me very much.” Once Nick said what everyone was thinking, the tense silence looming in the air dispersed.

“Dude, I don’t think she liked anyone very much,” Jolly responded.

“She’s kind of hot though,” Folio let out without even thinking. He watched as the other three guys turned their heads to look at him. He immediately regretted saying anything when Nick let out another chuckle. Folio picked up the spoon that was kicked back to him and threw it towards Nick, which did succeed in shutting him up for the time being. Folio focused his attention back towards Noah and Jolly, and he could see the gears turning in Noah’s brain.

“What, Noah?”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Noah replied defensively, but Folio could tell he was up to something due to Noah’s wide grin growing by the second.

“Then why the fuck does your face look like that?”

“Ah, Folio, don’t stoop to insulting Noah’s face. He’s gorgeous,” Jolly said as he grabbed Noah’s chin and let out a wild laugh. The rest of the guys followed suit with laughter.

“No, man, I just had a thought,” Noah finished.

“I don’t like your ideas.”

“Well, my ideas are why we’re on this tour,” Noah responded with a lift of his eyebrows.

“Fair point. Go on.” Folio could feel the attention of Nick and Jolly and suddenly was overwhelmed with anticipation for what Noah had to say next.

“How interested are you in the top bunk?”

Folio looked at Nick, assuming Noah was referring to his, “Uhh-“

Noah cut Folio off, noticing his attention went directly to Nick, “Not his. I wouldn’t do that to Nicky. I meant mine. I don’t care.”

Folio hesitated for a moment, not sure where this was all coming from, “Okay… But what are you suggesting?”

“Well, since you think blondie is so hot, I would love to see if you can get her to go on… hmm, let’s see… three dates with you. If you can do that, the top bunk is yours.”

A chorus of laughter erupted from Jolly and Nick and Folio couldn’t help but blush slightly, tilting his head down to hide the redness in his cheeks. He looked back up to the guys, “Yo, shut the fuck up for a second. I feel like that wasn’t a lot of details. Like, what is considered a date? How much time do I have? Etcetera…”

“Okay, okay. Great questions. Let’s say a date would be spending more than an hour together. Can be literally anything you want. And you have a month, so that the top bunk will be worth your while.”

Folio stared a Noah for a moment, “And you’re being deadass fucking serious?”

“Fucking serious,” Noah responded, holding his hand out for Folio as if to sanctify this bet.

Folio’s hand wavered as he thought for a moment. On one hand, the top bunk would be nice and he did think blondie was hot. But, on the other hand she was kind of a miserable person, not to mention she didn’t seem to like him all that much. Folio weighed the pros and cons in his head for a few more seconds before he finally shook Noah’s hand with a smirk, “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

#bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #nick folio #folio #foliofic #bet on me fic #cw: cursing

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mercair · 1 year ago

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FINALLY, A REAL OPPONENT. Ladies and gentlemen, she is finished. One of the strongest darkners ever made, is here to see how strong Kris REALLY is. Shady, mysterious, and most of all, EDGY. I present to you; Shikari.

She was once the Emperor's favorite hitman. Considered by the whole dark world to be stronger than the emperor himself. She never missed target, she never lost a fight. Yet still, she kept a certain tenderness in her heart for all of the citizens.

One day, a strange man arrived to the dark world. In his paranoia, the Emperor ordered Shikari to get rid of this foreigner. Shikari followed his orders, and immediatly started looking for the man.

When she found him, she instantly tried to kill him. No point in making a conversation. But.. for some reason... She couldn't lift her katana from the ground. Her legs and arms were shaking. She couldn't move. Was this... Fear? But how? She never lost a fight, she never doubted, she was always the STRONGEST one... Wasn't she?. To top it all, the man kept smiling the whole time, as if he was mocking her. After that the man got closer to her and handed her a strange crystal, said it was a gift for trying so hard. Was he making fun of her?

Shikari wasn't gonna take it. Out of rage, she grabbed the crystal and SMASHED it to the ground... A grave mistake. The essence of the crystal enveloped her in darkness, and in it, she saw EVERYTHING. The horrible fat of the world, and the truth of her reality, ALL AT ONCE. She passed out, and the man dissapeared. Was HE looking for HER this whole time?

Eventually, the Emperor's guard found her lying on the ground, and tried to help her. But something was wrong with her. She woke up and attacked everyone on the place, while saying stuff that didn't make sense. Somehow, the emperor managed to capture her. Seeing her in this state, he realize she was a GRAVE DANGER for his entire empire. And so she was exiled to the darkweb, and her katana retrieved from her, with no way of coming back.

In there, she keeps training herself beyond her own limits. She has to be stronger, she NEEDS to be stronger. Or everything she's done... Will be for nothing. Woe to the next prisoner who is sent with HER.

Phew, that was a LONG one, eh?

Anyways, so, have you heard about this girl "Shikari"? She's such a GAL! (Do NOT say that to her in her face, she WILL break yours).

As said in the image, Shikari is inspired in those old EDGY flash/newground games from the 2000's, so yeah, i decided to make a real shady, mysterious, and OVERLY DRAMATIC character for this one.

Her design didn't take that much thought, i decided to give her thos cool white mask eyes and make her look like she is ALWAYS angry, even if she's not. And i tried to give her that "cool stickman" body type, that's why she's tall (also to be more intimidating). Btw she does have two arms, you just can't see the other one the 90% of the time due to dramatic effect.

The name SHIKARI is combination of the word: Shi (Death) and Ikari (Wrath). Very edgy right? And on the nose for people who know japanese, probably.

After getting her SHIFANG back. Shikari finally decides to unleash her full power on you. She didn't need the katana to do that, she just wanted it back. May god have mercy on you, because she won't.

And finally, her battle theme. This might be one of the best ones i've ever done. What do you think?

And that'll be IT! for NOW!!

Now that i have legitimatelly NO other secret bosses ideas, i may finally begin to develop every single of my chapter takes a bit more!! Stay tuned for that, see ya!

#deltarune #deltarune oc #deltarune secret boss #shikari #SoundCloud

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fictionalmenmakemecry · 1 year ago

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Fuckin' with the Ecosystem- Chapter 5

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x reader, Richie, Sugar, Sydney

Summary: The tension between you and Carmy has made work a little more uncomfortable, since the last time you saw him, he was running out your door. With the renovation of 'The Bear' on its way, the challenges start building up. This leads to a hospital visit and you meeting someone from Carmy's past.

Warnings: Blood (If any way squeamish), Fluff, Angst, Cursing, Mold

A/n: Things are getting ssppiicyy! This chapter is starting to get to the knit and grit of it. I hope you guys are ready for it. Thank you for all the support. I've had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Please, please let me know what you think! I want to know if you're enjoying it or not. It's a long one, so get a hot beverage and buckle up!

If you haven't read, here's: Chapter 1 , Chapter 2, Chapter 3 and Chapter 4

Enjoy!

You woke up in your apartment, and your eyes getting forced into focus and landing on the stale Chinese that was left on your floor. The memories from the past night flooded your brain. Your first night in Chicago and a memorable one, not for a good reason.

You pulled yourself off the mattress of the floor and went to the bathroom dreary eyed. You took the next five minutes to figure out how the shower worked before hopping in.

"Why can't we just paint around'em'?" Richie voice carried as Carmy entered the back door.

"I wanna do this right. You're being lazy", Fak said back.

Carmy walked up to see Richie, Fak, and Marcus near the lockers.

"Ayyy Cousin, your back" Richie brought his hands up grinning.

"How did it go?" Marcus asked, leaning up against the wall.

"Yeah- fine..." Carmy hummed, scratching his neck.

"Is she coming in?" Richie asked, messing with a paint scrapper.

Carmy paused, his mind lagging behind the rest of him.

Richie glanced over to Marcus with furrowed eyebrows and Marcus shrugged his shoulders. Both of them aware of the mess, which was Carmy, in front of them.

"Oh.. uh.. yeah, maybe, " He mumbled, walking away.

"Um.. okay then, "

"I'm telling you, it's not gonna take that long. Don't make me get mom," Fak brought Richie's attention back

"The fuck you are" He snapped.

"Watch me" Fak threatened leaning into Richie

"I dare you," Richie warned, towering over his short stature.

"Mom... mom.." Fak said quietly, pushing Richie's buttons.

"Do it." Richie spat back.

Marcus stood between them, watching them argue. He decided to take matters into his own hands and start unscrewing the bracket off one of the lockers.

Carmy knocked on the opened door of the office. Sugar's head popped up with a smile on her face.

"Hey," She spoke softly.

Carmy nodded.

"Where Syd?" He asked, looking down the hallway.

"She's not in today. She's gone to talk to some old colleagues about the new menu" Sugar clicked the pen in her hand a couple of times.

"Oh, right- yeah... I remember her telling me somethin' about that, " He uttered, thinking back.

"You alright? You seem....off. " Sugar looked at Carmy worriedly.

Sugar was always tuned into Carmy. As the years passed growing up together, Carmy was always cold and distant. Never wanted much attention from anyone. Sugar had this innate behavior to pick up whatever subtle mood Carmy was in. Whether he wanted to show it or not.

"Uhh.. yeah, just a rough couple of days.."

"Wha-"

"MOMM" Fak voice traveled immediately, breaking Sugar's train of thought.

She got up from the chair and sighed, making her way out to the sound of bittering between Richie and Fak.

Carmy took the place of Sugar. He rubbed his hands over his face, wanting this day to be already over.

He brought out his phone and looked over your old texts. Should he text you good morning ? Or maybe sorry, sorry for dipping like an ass.

He didn't want you to think that he was coming on to you just to sleep with you. He was so worried that you would think he's just another asshole guy thinking with his dick. Once he left, he realized that's what you probably thought of him. He wanted to tell you how much you meant to him. That the feelings bubbling up inside of him were getting out of control and he didn't know how to handle it. The only thing he was certain of now, was that he needed to ignore them and focus on the restaurant.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment. He locked his phone and tossed it on the desk.

He leaned over, letting his head hang, still feeling exhausted. At this point, he wanted to forget about last night. He had too much shit going on right now. He couldn't buckle. Especially with everything going to plan, this was a critical time. Last night was a mistake. He was tired, and emotions were high. He needed space from you. He needed to reset himself.

"Good to have you here in one piece, sweetheart." Carmy heard Richie call out.

He could feel his heart thump knowing that you were in.

Fuck.

He continued to sit there listening to the conversations you were having with everyone. He was trying to grasp your mood. His leg started to jitter.

"I'm just glad that I'm here so the real work can start," you chuckled.

"Ooh you little bitch" Richie grinned crossing his arms.

"Is Carmy in?" You asked in a more serious tone.

"Office," Sugar hummed, making you look behind, not noticing her before.

You turned with open arms and hugged each other. Even though you haven't been in the last few weeks, you've gotten close to Sugar with being on the phone so much. She seemed to be always available when you needed her even with the chaos she was dealing with here.. You appreciated that, with the stress of moving.

"Hi," you smiled.

"I've gotta check out your new apartment sometime?" Sugar asked looking into your eyes, pulling away from the hug.

"Definitely, thanks again"

You made your way to the office hearing a cluster of voices start again from the locker situation.

You took a deep breath, wanting to just get past this. You walked up to the doorway, feeling your hands clam up.

Carmy was sitting in the chair scrolling through his phone.

"Hi...." You smiled weakly, not wanting your voice to sound shaky.

"Hey." He bluntly said, continuing to scroll.

"I just want to talk about last ni-"

"No need. I fucked up. Don't worry about it." He looked up finally, his lips pressed and eyes cold.

You were caught off guard with his bluntness.

"Oh, well.. no-" You started, wanting to explain your thoughts.

"Honestly, it's all good. Things are hectic right now, so let's just forget it." He stood up and shoved his phone in his pocket.

You moved to the side to let him brush past. No words came to your mind after being dismissed the way you were. You heard him chime into the conversation with the others. You stood there, not quite understanding what happened.

Was he mad?

Your stomach sunk from the disappointment. Was Carmy not the person you thought he was? You thought he would understand the situation you had with Nick. But it seemed like he didn't even care. Maybe you didn't know Carmy as well as you thought you did.

That thought made your stomach churn. Everything was perfect one moment and then gone the next. You sat down on the chair and passively looked through some of the documents that Sugar asked you to look over. You were reading the words, but nothing was going in. Your mind was far away from work.

"You need to take the lockers down." Carmy said, glancing at Richie, who was rolling his eyes.

"Don't see the po-"

"Cousin, if we gonna do this, aren't half assin' it"

"Thank you," Fak chimed in, gesturing his hand to Carmy.

"Where's the paint?" Carmy asked looking down at the one can on the floor.

Fak gave a side eye to Marcus realizing they might have messed up. Carmy brought eyes back to them.

"That's it?" He whipped, seeing the expressions on their face.

"Well.. it's cost a lot... for just one can. The one you wanted.... We could only get one, " Fak explained, scratching his forehead.

Carmy exhaled out feeling annoyed with the situation. He felt the money slipping through his fingers and they haven't even started on the big jobs yet. He brought his hand over his face, puling down his expression while thinking.

"Look.... it's fine. I know it's not gonna to be enough. We'll increase the budget for the paint. Don't have an option"

"Marcus, go with him, make sure he gets enough, maybe another two cans" He continued.

"No worries, Chef." Marcus nodded and followed Fak out, making their way to the office to get one of the bundles of money that was hidden before continuing with the mission of getting more paint.

Richie and Carmy started unscrewing the old rusted brackets of the lockers. Richie groaned on about how his date last night was the dullest one he has had yet.

"Cousin, listen, this broad was stiffer than a slab of plaster." He explained, as the brackets creaked and started slowly pulling away from the wall.

"Mhmmm," Carmy peeked to the front side of the lockers over to Richie, making sure the lockers didn't topple over.

"When I brought up Bill Murray, she didn't even fuckin' blink. Like Bill Fuckin' Murray and I got nothin'. I had enough after that. Paid the bill and left. " He sighed.

The lockers creaked more and more as they lifted away from the wall. They were beyond their prime, with rust covering the sides of them. As Richie and Carmy moved the lockers away from the wall, the exposed back part of the locker broke away. Carmy readjusted his hand to get a better grip to start lifting it away from the wall. With his hand moving and not looking at where it was going, the rusted back panel glided along the inside of his hand.

"FUCKK" Carmy spat, dropping the locker immediately while looking down at his bleeding hand.

Carmy saw blood emerge from the palm. A long cut from one side to the other side.

Richie quickly worked his way around the locker to see Carmy gripping onto his wrist, his hand getting more and more covered in blood.

"Christ," Richie exclaimed, racing to the kitchen to get a clean rag.

"Shit" Carmy hissed.

He thought of you in that second, knowing that you knew first aid. He was hesitant to get you, with everything that was going on between you two, but the amount of blood was freaking him out.

Hearing Carmy yell out your name in such distress made you instantly jump up and run over to the commotion. As you turned the corner, you saw Carmy look to you with panic set in his eyes.

Richie is holding a rag tight around his hand. Your eyes traveled down to see splotches of blood on the ground where they were standing.

"What happened?" You asked frantically, rushing to Carmy's side.

"I-I fuckin' sliced my hand on the locker" Carmy spat feeling the pain get more intense now that the shock was wearing off.

You glanced over to see the loose panel, sticking out.

"Lemme see." You leaned over carefully, taking the rag away.

His hand was pumping blood, and travelling all over his hand. The rag was already dyed red.

"Carmy, it's deep. You gonna have to go to the hospital" you winced looking at his fresh open wound.

"Fuck me" He leaned his head back hating the thought of being stuck in the E.R for the rest of the day.

You looked over to the locker to see rusted metal exposed. You didn't want to take your chances. He was definitely going to the E.R.

"Someone's gonna have to bring him to hospital" You looked around.

"I'll bring 'im" Richie offered, still holding pressure to Carmy's hand

"No...no, you gotta stay here and finish this" Carmy said adamantly.

"Sugar?" You asked, not seeing her anywhere.

"Gone to get us lunch." Richie flickered his eyes to you briefly.

You exhaled knowing you were going to have to do it. Which wasn't great after the whole fiasco last night.

"I-I'll take him" you sighed knowing it was going to be awkward as hell.

"No..no you gotta stay here and sort things out with Suga'"

"Well one more day isn't gonna break us" Richie spoke up.

"Let me just fuckin' bring you ok?" You snapped getting annoyed from the lack of urgency between the two of them.

"Fine" Carmy said bluntly.

Richie offered his car and helped Carmy in the passenger seat as you got in the driver.

"Don't go too hard on her" Richie cheekily grinned leaning on the passenger window.

"Why the fu-"

"He's talking about the car," You smirked back at Richie

Carmy did an audible sigh clutching on to the newly stained rag on his hand. You looked over your shoulder after putting the car in reverse. Richie gave a salute watching you both pull away.

"How far away is the hospital?" You asked pulling up to a junction.

"About ... uh.. 20 minutes... if traffic is not bad" Carmy mumbled keeping his head down.

He continued to give you directions as you got closer and closer. No other topics were brought up, and to say it was awkward was an understatement. The tension in the air was bad, and you glanced over to him from time to time, but he would just stare out the window gripping onto his injured hand.

"Carmy, I just want to talk about las-"

"Can we not?" He cut across you.

You took a deep breath not appreciating his coldness towards you out of nowhere.

"Why.... Why can't we talk?" You said gently, not wanting to make the situation worse than it already was.

"Cause' I'm in a fuck ton of pain. Is that ok?" He looked at you for the first time since being in the car.

"...Okay" You hummed

You tried to not take it personal as you knew he was in a bad spot right now. He was having a hard time. But you wanted this out in the air. To just talk about what happened. What went wrong. Why was he so distant from you.

As you pulled up to the E.R door Carmy struggled to unbuckle his belt but after a few attempts he got it.

"I'll see you in there, let me just park the car" You said before watching him get out.

After 15 minutes of driving around trying to find something, you were finally able to park the car. You walked through the sliding doors and looked around to see if you could find a curly haired man sitting down with a bleeding hand. As your eyes scanned, you found him in the backend of one of the rows of seats.

"Want help?" You asked gently, sitting beside him

You watch him struggle writing with his left hand while holding the clip board against his lap with his injured one.

He brought his eyes up and nodded, giving a weak smile. It wasn't much, but it was something. He told you the information as you worked down through the form.

"My birthday is-"

He paused noticing that you were already started writing down his digits of his birthday.

"You remember?" A small smile creeping up on his face naturally.

You glanced up and nodded. Of course you remembered. You remembered forcing him to tell you years ago. He was stubborn, but after snooping through his application for the job that was stored away, you found out.

A minor detail that you remembered about him meant a lot to him. He never expected anyone to know his birthday as usually he thought the day was more of a burden for everyone than anything else. He always tried to glide past his birthday as fast as possible, which was hard to do when he lived in Chicago. But in New York, it was easy to forget when no one knew it in the first place. But when you got to know each other more, you demanded to know.

He didn't even realize you knew until it was the end of a long service night.

"Carmy, there's gonna be a problem with your paycheck this week, for some reason the direct debit is gonna be offline" You explained standing on the other side of the of the counter he was scrubbing.

"What you mean?" He squinted his eyes, figuring out what you were on about.

"I don't know, something about the bank fuckin' up. Vince wants you in his office" You continued.

"Uhh.. ok" Carmy looked over his cleaned bench before throwing a rag over his shoulder making his way to the office with you following behind.

He really didn't need this to happen right now as he was already behind on rent and he couldn't give his landlord anymore excuses.

Carmy gently knocked the closed office door before opening it, sticking his head in to see a small sponge cake with buttercream frosting sitting on the desk in completely darkness with candles on top brightening up the room.

His face light up immediately. He looked back to see your face covered in a cheeky grin.

"Un-fuckin'-believable" He shook his head with a huge smile on his face.

You ushered him into the office trying not let anyone know what was going on. You closed the door behind you and saw him look down at the cake with the candlelight reflecting off his eyes.

"I told you I would find out" You cackled, going over next to him.

"Who else knows?" He glanced at you.

"No one. Hence why we are hiding in Vince's office. Plus, I don't have enough cake for everyone.... So it's our little secret. " You giggled, feeling the mischievousness get to you a little.

You watched as he stared down at the cake smiling, like he didn't think it was real.

"Happy Birthday Carm" You said quietly, feeling your cheeks hurt from all the grinning.

He looked over at you and mouthed thank you. He gave you a half hug with his one arm wrapped around your shoulders before leaning down and blowing out the candles bringing the room to darkness.

"Carmy?" A woman called out.

Carmy got ripped out of his dissociated state by a familiar woman's voice.

You both looked up to see a brown hair woman in navy scrubs glancing down at him.

You looked over to him with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Uhh......Claire?" He eventually said.

She nodded eagerly.

"Oh my god, it's been so long. I didn't know you were back in town" She grinned.

He sat there for a moment. He couldn't believe Claire was here. He was caught completely off guard. His attention snapped back when you gave a light cough, realizing he hasn't introduced you yet.

"Hi Claire, nice to meet you" You leaned over shaking her hand when Carmy finally got the words to introduce you after staring at her for awkwardly long time.

"What happened?" You watched as she brought her attention to the blood stained cloth.

"Uhh.. I-I had an accident- but n-nothing too serious" Carmy stuttered.

"Okay, well let me have a look at it for you and get you fixed up" She smiled flickering her eye between the both of you.

Whatever you were witnessing, you felt like the third wheel. You felt like you were watching their meet cute after years of not seeing each other. You could sense something going on between them which unsettled you.

"Do you want to head back? I think I'll be okay from here" He looked over to you pressing his lips together.

You glanced up and noticed her eyes soft with kindness and joy like she was in a Hollywood movie as 'the girl next door'.

"Um... okay" you brought your eyes back to him.

You were taken aback with being dismissed so quickly. You definitely felt that you were interfering with something between them now.

"What about your ride? I could wait out here til' your done" You offered.

"I'll call Richie. I think you head back and make sure everyone still on track" He gave a quick smile.

"Thanks for bringing him in" Claire hummed taking the half filled form off of you.

You watched as Carmy followed Claire down the hall. You were left sitting there not understanding what had happened.

What was going on? Who is Claire? Is she his ex?

All these thoughts whizzed through your head as you made your way back to the restaurant with Google Maps on your lap.

If she was his ex, then they must have ended pretty civil.

Family friend maybe?

But the way she looked at him. The way her eyes sparkled when she first came over. It definitely seemed more than friends.

You continued to overthink as you pulled up and put Richie's car into park. You sat there for a moment to gather your thoughts and pull yourself together.

"Ayye , you're back fast," Richie chimed, unscrewing the lockers on the other wall.

"Just me," you gave a weak smile.

"Did he bleed out on the way there?" Richie scoffed turning the screwdriver against the wall.

"Ha. Ha". You mocked walking over to him,

"Do you know a Claire?" You questioned, handing back Richie's keys.

He paused on what he was doing, putting the keys back in his pocket, and a smile emerged his face.

"Claire? Highschool Claire?"

You shrugged, not trying to show not to care. You had a feeling that your poker face wasn't working though.

"Why?" He walked over closer to you.

"She was at the hospital. She's looking after him." You stated.

You could feel Richie eyes on your face, trying to pick up any emotion resting on your face.

"Yea, yeah, that sounds about 'ight. I think I remember Fak sayin' somethin' about that" His eyes still on you.

"I remember running into her couple of years ago and I barely recognized her. You should have seen her in her ugly duckling stage."

You instinctively felt your mouth scrunch up.

"She had these ugly ass glasses when she was younger. She's a beaut now" He continued.

You looked down, avoiding his eyes, afraid that he would see all the emotion on your face that you were feeling in your stomach. The bubbling anxiety that seem to get stronger and stronger with every mention of this Claire.

"I remember she used to have the biggest crush on him years ago... like-"

"I gotta catch up on some work, but uh... Carmy said he ring you when he's done" you muttered before b lining it to the office.

Richie raised his eyebrows, leaving him hanging by the lockers. He wasn't an idiot, he sensed something was going on between you and Carmy. Whatever the hell was happening, he wanted no part in it. He learned his lesson from the past of getting involved with Carmy's love interests.

You heard Fak and Marcus come back with the paint, and Sugar followed, holding lunch in a big brown paper bag for everyone.

Lunch was spread across what furniture was left up at the shop's front. It looked desolate now with a lot of the counter space removed and the signs taken down from the walls leaving rusted marks behind. Everyone was settled by leaning against the wall or counters, stuffing their faces with lunch.

"Where's Carm?" Sugar asked, holding a sandwich.

"Hospital" Richie muffled with a mouth full of bread.

"What?" Her jaw dropping slightly open thinking of the worst case scenario.

"It's okay... he just cut his hand", you showed your hand to demonstrate the wound.

"It was deep, so brought him to the hospital to get stitches" You continued.

She nodded lightly, trying to catch up on what had happened.

"He'll be okay" you gave a reassuring smile.

"Ooohh he'll be more than okay" Richie laughed.

"Claire is nursing him" He smirked at Sugar.

"Claire Claire?" Sugar asked staring at Richie on the opposite side of the room where he was sat on the counter.

"Oh yeah, forgot she worked there" Fak hummed taking another bite of his lunch

"Fuck me, bangin' body and smart, go cousin" Richie grinned cheekily.

You bite your lip hard trying to hold back from showing how agitated you were getting. It clearly wasn't working though.

Shut up Sugar mouthed to Richie before quickly glancing at you. Richie eyes flickered to you also. You felt your face heat up and looked down avoiding anyone's eyeline. Your stomach was in knots after Richie's rave about Claire. What you thought was just going to be a little bit of a rough day, was turning out to be one of the worse days.

"Thanks for the lunch Sugar. I'm gonna catch up on some work and eat in the office" You gave a fake smile to her, clutching the sandwich in your hand.

You went back to the office and closed the door wanting to be left alone for awhile. You didn't touch the sandwich, you couldn't even stomach taking a bite right now. You tried to settle yourself by taking deep breaths. It helped a little til' your heard the familiar hum of Carmy's voice in the distance. You closed your eyes and tried to block him out not wanting to hear anything that was being said about this 'Claire'.

"OOOHHH.. Here comes the devil himself, " Richie announced, seeing Carmy come through the front door.

Carmy had a puzzled look on his face not completely sure what he was coming into.

"You hungry?" Sugar asked offering the sandwich to him.

"Uhh.. yeah, thanks" He gave a quick smile before scanning the room.

"..Wait, I was 'pose to give you a ride?" Richie realized taking a swig of his can of coke.

"Y-yeah, well... Claire offered, she was on her lunch" He unwrapped his sandwich.

Richie looked over to Sugar and wagged his eyebrows repeatedly while she rolled hers.

As they pulled up on the curb, front of the building, the windows covered in newspaper. Carmy opened the door, he gave a small smile before getting out of the car.

"Carmy...." Claire's called out, making him look back, his hand still on the handle.

"I would hate to lose contact... again." She took her phone out of pocket and tapped the screen a couple of times before handing it to him.

He took it off of her to see 'New Contact' on the phone.

He paused for a moment and looked up, giving her a brief smile. For some reason, he hesitated. It was still the same Claire that he doted over years ago. The feeling he had when around her was there but...something wasn't right. When he first saw Claire, he barely recognized her. She looked so different, but her manner was the same. She was still shy, gentle, with the same kind smile.

He typed out his number fast, not looking over it before handing it back to her.

She looked down at her phone and saved the number. She brought her eyes back to him.

"Thanks for the ride", they looked at each other for a moment.

"See you later" she smiled watching him get out of the car.

Carmy leaned down and looked through the passenger window, giving a loose wave. He watched as she pulled away and drove down the street.

As they caught up while she was fixing his hand up, he couldn't stop thinking about the look on your face when Claire introduced herself. The look of confusion? Sadness? Or maybe jealousy?

The thought of you feeling jealous made him think that maybe he had read last night wrong. Maybe you wanted him but just couldn't for some reason. it didn't matter how many time he told himself to stop over analyzing the night, he couldn't. He kept thinking on what he could have done differently.

What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just stop thinking about you. Stop wondering what you were thinking of him? He couldn't even think straight when talking to Claire.

Since yesterday, you haven't left his mind once even when he was occupied doing tasks, his mind would still be revolving around you. He was tired. He needed time to re-center himself. It wasn't healthy thinking in circles like he has been. Especially about someone who was one of his closest friends.

He walked towards the door with his newly bandaged hand. He had a feeling that he was going to get an earful from Richie about Claire. Memories from the past jolted his mind of Mikey and Richie hounding on him about bedding Claire. They would go on about how it would 'loosen' him up, whatever that meant.

For the rest of the day, both you and Carmy avoided each other. With so much going on with the restaurant, it was easy. Sugar and you were in the office dealing with registering the new restaurant and organizing the safety inspection when it came to gas line. Sugar headed home earlier, with Pete calling her about dinner being ready. You realized that no one was going to give you that call as you usually went home to a microwave meal calling your name.

"Hey I'm gonna be lockin' up ina bit" A soft voice came from the door.

Your head snapped up from the interruption.

"Uhh.. yeah. No problem. Let me just tidy up here, " you fumbled, caught off guard with him even talking to you.

Carmy fought with himself all evening, whether he should say anything to you about last night and even today. He knew he was cold towards you and felt like a piece of shit.

Fuck it

"Uhh.. s-sorry for today. Its been kinda rough and-" He said, looking with sympathetic eyes.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. You've been through enough as it is" you gave a reassuring smile and gestured to his injured hand.

He looked down at the bandage and smiled. He realized that you were there for him when he needed you. There was no hesitation on your end. He felt even more guilty about earlier now.

"How is it?" You asked bringing him back to the conversation.

"Um.. It hurts... B-but I'll live"

"Thanks for helping me... Really" He continued.

Silence came between both of you. Your eyes lingered longer than they should. His too. For one second, things seemed to be normal. A part of you wanted to hug him. You imagined yourself crashing into his chest and breathing him in. But there was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Your mind always wandering back to Claire.

You wanted to ask about her. You wanted to ask him how important she was to him. Was he interested in her? She clearly was interested in him. There was no doubt about that.

But all those questions were obvious, and the answers would hurt too much. You wanted to be clueless about them, but your brain was intrusive with constant thoughts about Claire.

"I'm glad I was able to help." You gave a gentle smile tapping your pen mindlessly against the desk.

After everything that has happened today, Carmy was happy to see you not completely hate him. It gave him some peace that you've recovered from how he acted the previous night.

"Well, I'll start closing up." Carmy scratched his head, turning back towards the kitchen.

You sat there with a smile spread across your face. You felt the familiar fuzziness in your chest. The feel that you could only associate Carmy with. He was the one who could you blush with just one look.

With the back door locked, you both walked around towards the front of the building where the yellow hued streetlights reflected off the newspaper covered windows.

Carmy stuffed his hands in his pockets trying to retain any heat left in his body. He glanced over at you to see the light breeze carry some of the loose strays of hair across your face. You shook your head trying to get them out of the way but failed. As cold as it was, he wanted to take his hand out and gently moved them behind your ear. He saw how your nose and ears got redder with the harsh cold surrounding them. You caught him staring but he brought his eyes down instantly, hoping that he wasn't admiring you awkwardly for too long.

These urges that he got were hard to ignore. He didn't want to think like this. As hard as he tried, his mind would always lead more than friends when it came to you.

If there was any chance of clearing the air about the past night, this was going to be it. While you both were alone and no chaos was happening around you.

"I know last night was a mess.... and I wan-"

"N-no, no, I was a dick." He stated continuing to look down at the ground.

A memory flashback through your mind of him walking out the door in a rush.

"Okay... maybe a little" a smile crept up on your face.

"Yeah," You heard a chuckle from him.

You wanted to tell him that what happened last night was nothing to do with him. You wanted to explain why you were like this. You needed to tell him how you felt. Whether he felt the same or not. You could at least put it to rest and not wonder what if. With Claire in the picture, the urge for you to put yourself out there was stronger. But also, the chances of getting hurt were higher.

"Carmy, I've never told you this... but.." You broke off trying to find the courage.

You looked over to see him looking at you. His eyes searching your face.

What the hell. Just tell him what you feel.

Before its too late.

"I've never said thank you for contacting me... for reaching out" you sighed, feeling your heart thump in your chest.

You couldn't do it. Even if last night showed you anything, maybe... even maybe he might feel the same way about you.

The edges of his lips curled up like he knew you backed out on what you were actually going to say.

"Of course, you were always on my mind, " He hummed

That surprised you. You knew he was onto bigger things after getting an offer for a new job in New York. You knew how fast the restaurant business was when it came to successful chefs. Maybe he was making it up, just to be nice. Or maybe it was true and you needed to just stop overthink everything word that came out of his mouth.

The idea of inviting him over to your place crossed your mind. You wanted to not have the last memory of him there rushing out the door slamming it on his way out. You wanted to put yourself out there and inviting him over would be the first step to do that.

There was a couple of moments of silence before you took a deep breath.

"Um.. Do you-" You started but heard a faint buzzing.

Carmy took his phone out of his pocket to see a random number pop up on his phone. He looked up at you nearly asking for permission to answer it.

You nodded, not wanting to take him away from the phone call. You watched him swipe his finger across the screen and bring his phone up to his face. He looked over to you, giving a light smile.

"Hello?" He answered.

You heard the murmuring of the other person on the end of the phone.

"Oh.. Claire, " He announced, bringing his eyes down to the ground.

Your ears perked from him calling her name out.

The feeling in your stomach dropped. She has his number. Of course she does. If they're exes she wouldn't delete it and if they're close friends then she would definitely have it. The pure disappointment you felt made you nauseous. You clenched your jaw waiting for the horrid feeling to go away, but it didn't. You felt like this phone call was going to drag on for awhile and didn't want to be tortured listening to conversation.

You gestured your thumb over your shoulder, indicating to Carmy that you were heading home. He pressed his lips together into a flat smile and nodded in acknowledgement. You gave a smile and wave, with him returning one back. You began to walk down the street hearing Carmy's voice get more and more distant.

Carmy watched you walk away and bit his lip in annoyance. He wished his phone was on silent.

"Carmy?" He heard Claire call out on the other end of the phone.

"Oh, y-yeah, sorry... did I? I didn't see the typo when I put it in" He shook his head bringing his attention back to the conversation.

"I was thinking about maybe we could meet up tomorrow night... if your free" She added.

"Uhhh.. y-yeah I should be." He responded.

He started slowly walking back to his apartment absent-mindedly continuing his conversation with Claire.

Days went by and things started getting serious. All of you realize that the place was going to need more than just a facelift. The excitement of finding the money, made Carmy and Sydney think that a lick of paint some new furnishings would make their vision come to life. That's until the ceiling collapsed on top of Richie in the form of black mold.

"This place is solid.. I swear- I swear to you on my own grave" Richie placed his hand on his chest looking over at Sugar and Sydney.

"I don't know, look at the black patches along the walls" Sydney pointed to the corner where the lockers were.

"Nah, some bleach and paint and these walls are good as new"

"Syd has a point, that ceiling looks like it about to cave in any second" Sugar commented crossing her arms looking up above Richie.

"Hold on, just look" Richie leaned over and grabbed a broom that was leaning up against the wall.

He held near the end of the broom and hit the tip of the handle to the ceiling.

"See? If it was mold, I wouldn't be able to-"

Suddenly a black cloud of dust bellows around Richie with chucks of the ceiling falling around him.

"Shit!" Syd shouted jumping back with Sugar, avoiding the clump of black mold landing where they were.

With the dust settling, Richie head hung in defeat. He was still holding the broom with the majority of him covered in black dust.

"Fuck me" He mumbled to himself.

"As you were saying Richie?" Syd chuckled with Sugar.

"Yea.. yeah whatever..." He uttered.

"Oh God... Syd I hate to break it to you but.. I think we are gonna need more than just a facelift" Sugar leans over looking up at the crumbing hole above Richie.

"You okay?" She brought her attention down to Richie who now started using the broom to swept the mess just created,

"Yea.... just covered in black shit" He huffed.

"Yeah... We are definitely gonna need more than just a facelift" Syd sucked in her lips wondering how they were going to break it to Carmy.

Later that day, the news got around about the hole in the ceiling, which lead to an emergency meeting at the shop front. You received a text from Sugar asking if you could come in even though this was your first day off since moving here. You didn't really mind as you were still setting up your apartment and resting.

You came in from the back and leaned over to see the gaping hole near where the lockers used to be before making your way to the front to see Syd, Sugar and Richie already discussing things.

"Hey" You greeted before getting hit in the face with a musky smell that was getting stronger as you walked in.

"Oh God... What the hell is that smell?" Your face morphed into disgust as you resisted the urge to breath through your nose.

"That would be Richie" Sugar nodded her head towards him.

You glanced over to see a depressed and filthy Richie on the other side of the room leaning up against the wall.

"Hey, hey I tried to get this shit off but the more I rub, the more it spreads. I needa shower" He said irritably.

"Where Carmy?" You asked surprised not seeing him yet.

"We were gonna ask you" Syd said furrowing her eyebrows.

Within that moment, the locks on the front door clicked and Carmy came walking through the door with his shoulders uptight shielding him from the frosty weather outside.

"S'up, sorry... I got caught up" Carmy closed the door behind him

"..With Claire" Richie coughed out, smirking at Carmy.

"Shut up" Carmy giving a dirty look to him.

"What's up?" He turns his attention to everyone and landed his eyes on you, giving a brief small smile.

You gave a smile back but having a depressing feeling from the image of him and Claire hanging out before this which was probably true. You wished Richie didn't say anything so you could have pretended to be oblivious.

"We have a new feature that Richie created today-"

"How the fuck did I know it was gonna come down like that"

"Richie, if I remember, did you not- and correct me Syd if I'm wrong, swear on your grave that this place is 'solid'" Sugar clapped back with air quotes.

"Fuck you- you're not the one that got cover in black sh-"

"Guys, guys c'mon" Syd tried to interrupt with Sugar and Richie yelling at each other at this point.

You looked over to Carmy to see him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Cousin, stop" He raised his voice looking over at him.

"COUSIN, SUGAR!" He yells bringing the arguing to a halt but with Richie and Sugar giving each other death stares.

"Thank you" Carmy exhaled.

"Here's the deal, there's a massive hole in the ceiling and it doesn't matter who caused it, it's there now" Syd glanced over to both Sugar and Richie before continuing.

"The facelift that you and I talked about.. well.. it's turning more into open heart surgery at this point" Sydney explained looking over at Carmy.

"Yea, yeah... I had a feeling you were gonna say that" Carmy hummed leaning his head back staring up.

"Fuckin' shit" He said under his breath.

"I- I was doing some light research coming over here and from what I'm seeing..." You paused knowing the number you were going to say next was going to hurt.

"We're gonna need at least 400,000 dollars more" You winced and bite your lip not wanting to bring the bad news.

"Holy shit" Sugar gasped.

The place was silence to the point where you could hear a pin drop. The atmosphere was tense with everyone tired of the challenges the restaurant constantly throwing at you all.

"We're gonna have to inform the city that we have critical mold issue" You explained.

"What?" Richie called out with a puzzled face

"Yea, apparently in state of Illinois if you- hold on" You pulled out your phone and pulled up the tab you had open already.

"I quote 'if you have significant damaged caused by mold you have to notify your neighbors and IDPH" You read looking up from your phone.

"So with that, I looked up what might need to be done when it comes to the mold issue... and.. ", you put your phone in your back pocket.

"Well.. my very rough guesstimate is around 400,000 dollars.... at least" You added biting your lip.

Everyone stayed silence processing the bomb you just dropped on them when it came to changing the whole plan of the restaurant.

"Carm... I know you don't want to... but we gonna have to go to Jimmy" Sugar spoke up looking across to him.

Carmy knew they were forced into a tight corner with the condition of the property. The idea of pumping serious money into this place was becoming very real.

"Fuck... I know. He mumbled

"That's gonna be a fun conversation" Carmy inhaled rubbing his eyes with both of his hands.

The rest of the night was spent on all of you coming up with a pitch. A pitch that would somehow convince Jimmy to lend even more money with no proof that he was going to get it back. Carmy, Sugar and Richie were apprehensive with Sydney being the only positive one. But she didn't understand how awkward Jimmy can be, especially when he had something to hang over your heads like the fine total of 800,000 dollars.

"18 months? Will that be enough?" You glance over to Carmy as you all surround a scrap of cardboard that Carmy was scribbling figures over.

"It's gonna hafta be... I feel like he won't give us any longer"

"It's gonna be tight..." Richie voiced out.

"We're gonna have to hit the ground running. Pretty much booked out every week" Sugar added biting on her thumb nail.

"We'll have to open up sooner. Way sooner" You looked over to the makeshift calendar that had the timeframe of when everything was getting done across the wall. With a lot more getting added on to the to-do list and a less time to work with, a new calendar was going be to be needed.

Carmy brought his hands up behind his head extending his elbow outwards. Everyone continued to look down at the torn piece of cardboard seeing the future of the restaurant on it. The future of all the success on it. It was unnerving to see it in plain figures. Money having a chokehold on survival rate of 'The Bear'.

"Everything will be fine...." Sydney said to herself.

"...Won't we?" She glanced at everyone with her face covered in anxiety.

The room stayed silent with the sounds of city in the background.

Chapter 6

Masterlist for other fics

Taglist: @wabi-sabi1090

#fanfic #fluff #fanfiction #love #carmy berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear #carmy x reader #chicago #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #the bear fic #carmen berzatto #natalie berzatto #carmen berzatto x you #smut #carmen berzatto fluff #jeremy allen white

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choscar-op81 · 1 month ago

Note

you are of course not obligated to share but if you're okay with it, as an oscar lover/lando hater myself i'd love to hear your thoughts on lando (after seeing you put him at the bottom of your driver ranking)

☠️If you’re a fan of Lando, think carefully before reading this. I’d rather warn you if anyone who likes him happens to be reading☠️

I really don’t like his personality, attitude, comments, or driving style. Even before the 2024 season, his weird remarks and so-called jokes were often excused as “British humor” (which they weren’t). Everyone said, “Oh, he’s young.” But now he’s a grown man, and this season he has shown just how immature he still is especially with the way he behaves during interviews, on the podium, or even on his friend’s stream, where he commented on Lewis and George’s situation after Singapore.

In general, I don’t like people who talk a lot but don’t back it up on the track. Or those who act like they’re someone important, only to play the victim right after. Lando should decide who he wants to be instead of changing his tune every race. One moment, he says his car is amazing, and the next, he acts like he’s driving a Sauber. The best part was when he said Red Bull had a better car than McLaren, even though Red Bull was only the third or sometimes even fourth fastest car at the time.

McLaren’s PR doesn’t convince me either. Every time Oscar says something, Lando pulls a face like he's about to puke. Honestly, I don’t think he even likes Oscar based on some of the videos I’ve seen. Nothing could really convince me to like Lando.

Hungary… Hungary is a whole other story. People love to blame McLaren for the strategy failure, and yes, they did mess it up. But based on the interviews, you can tell they discussed these scenarios and both agreed to give each other their position back if an undercut happened. Of course, Lando ignored this and kept Oscar behind him for a long time. He acted like a child, and I laughed so hard when he cry before the interview and wipe those crocodile tears off his face (“golden boy” didn’t get what he wanted)

Monza… I love Monza. Oscar’s overtake was beautiful, absolutely perfect. In the end, Charles won because of a one-stop strategy (I was so happy for Charles, by the way). But before the race, Lando said they could race hard and fair. Then Oscar pulled off one of the cleanest overtakes I’ve ever seen at that chicane, and in his first interview, Lando said it was fair. Then, in an interview with Sky Sports, he changed his tune, saying Oscar “went too far” and the move was “uncomfortable” and could have ended badly. That’s when Lando shows his true character In my opinion.

Overall, I have plenty more reasons why I don’t like him, but it’s not worth writing a whole essay. I hope my answer satisfies you 😊

If you’re a fan of Lando sorry, I just don’t like him, and I don’t think anything could change that.

#anon ask

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shinsouscatpisssmell · 1 year ago

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Betrayed pt.2

Any! Character x reader

Warnings: character isn’t mentioned🫶🏾 I leave it up to you , reader is implied to be chubby, reader is a smoker, reader and character have child (not stated how), implied character death

Summary: you decide to leave for a day or two as the situation escalates at home but during your stay a handsome stranger tries to rizz you up.

< >

"why didn't daddy come to the hotel with us?" Your som asked as he twirls in the desk chair as you dig through your suitcase for pajamas.

" daddy was busy with work so he couldn’t come this time.” Not having the heart to tell after that night the fights were getting increasingly worse sometimes escalating to throwing objects at walls.

The final straw being that he was found sending flirty texts to the same person that was the cause of your arguments. Confronting him you read the text aloud while he lays in the guest bed until he snatches it ending in you getting pushed by the force and falling against the dresser hitting your head. He tried to apologize but you gave it no time rushing to pack your bags and your child’s. Tuning out both voices as the ringing in your head echos.

You wipe your tear drops away from your face to not alarm your child before pulling out their pair of pjs for the night, “get ready for bed. Just because we’re staying in a hotel doesn’t mean you don’t have a bed time.”

“B-but, please.” He begged trying his best to give their puppy dog eyes. Quirky your eyebrow it was a small showdown until they started batting their eyelashes comically at you forcing a grin on your face.

Sighing you toss the remote on the bed, “only until I come back upstairs, then it’s bed time.” Grabbing a donning a light jacket rolling eyes as Matty small cheers of victory behind you, “Don’t open the door for anybody or anything. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” You hear the confirmation from them before closing the door.

Once making it outside you light a cigarette, sitting on a bench nearby watching passing car and street lights brighten up the night. Rubbing the back of your head from the hit and letting a deep breathe leave your lips.

“It’s pretty cold out here, isn’t it?” A deep voice cuts the silence.

“It is. I just don’t want my son seeing me smoking and thinking it’s cool.” Replying as you huff out the smoke.

“Seems about ,right. It’s one reason why I quit. Can’t have him smoking at 17 like me.” It causes a small laugh to leave your lips.

“Hm, we seem to have that in common. Only thing is I pulled me back in. Seems to be my only comfort these days.” The cigarette becoming smaller until you put it out. Going for another one, “do you mind if I have one?” The strange man asked.

“Thought you quit?” You replied sarcastically nonetheless holding the carton open his way.

“I never said I didn’t enjoy them occasionally though and what’s a better occasion than having an attractive person talking to me.” Snorting at his comment, you hold the lighter for him.

“So what’s your story?.” He asks and you hum in question, “why are you here? You’ve got a child on a Saturday night at a hotel. Looks like your local, by how your not out roaming the streets and got your pajamas on. You also have a child so I’m assuming you have a partner in your life but they obviously aren’t here by how they leave your hotel room. So my next question, if I’m not crossing the boundary . Are they dumb or just plain stupid to let you out their sights?”

Coughing you see the man’s eyes on you and you connect amazed on how he read you like a book, “wow, um… you a psychic?” It earns a deep laugh to erupt from him and shaking his head, “ just call it how I see it.” Sending a smirk your way.

“Well your call is right, I was raised here and yes I do have a partner. Although by now I’m sure they are deep into something or rather someone that’s not me right me.” Stomping out the second cigarette.

“So he’s just plain stupid. I see.” He copies your actions after letting the last bit of smoke leave between his lips. Earning a giggle from you.

“I guess I’m the dumb one. I fell for him a small part knowing he carried feelings for a different person.” A hand touches your shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. It just happens between people sometimes.”

Small laughter leaves, “thanks, so what’s your story? You have a son, what about a partner? Are you from here? What brings you to this hotel?”

“Yes, I was born and raised from here, I’m here for work and to spend some one on one time with my son . Usually living in hotels due to work and having to leave him home by himself all the time is making our relationship strained,if I were to say it.” Comforting him you patted his hand as he did to you, “ After his mom died, it took a toll on us. I submerged myself in work. Leaving him with family until I kicked myself in my own ass and have been taking jobs closer and shorter to spend time with him.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how’d she die.”

He grabs hold of his necklace a ring hanging from it, “she had a incurable disease. She was supposed to pass when we were in middle school but she still stood strong until after our son was born then took a turn for the worse and passed.”

“That’s a lot to take in. You’re strong for shouldering all that,” you glance at the bar inside, “want to continue this conversation over a drink?”

Walking back into your hotel room with a smile that lights up the dark room. Seeing your child sprawled out on the bed snoring while cartoons play in the background. You scoot them sliding under the covers with them as they cuddled closer to the new form warmth in the body and you smooth down their hair, giving a small kiss to their forehead.

Your Phone vibrating alerts you as you took it off do not disturb for your alarm and see a new notificatiom. Scrolling through you ignore the angry text from your husband and see one from the new stranger you just met tonight and shared a heart felt conversation with.

’Get back to your hotel room safely?’

An//: its getting heated (=^ ◡ ^=) you met someone new? I wonder who! Keeping it ambigious is kinda fun. Tell me who you used 🦭 I want to see if it was who I was thinking of while writing.

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selencgraphy · 1 year ago

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— 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

𝐓𝐖𝐎: spinning out, waiting for you (to pull me in)

PAIRING: jake seresin x f!original character

TAGS: cursing, angst, overthinking, self deprecation, abandonment issues (this part is just hurt the entire time i'm sorry)

A/N: hehe heyyy... so it's been over a year since i revamped this series and over a year since i posted the first part. i wanna apologize for such a huge gap! i got so busy in the last year and i wanted to make sure that this series lived up to the expectations i held in my head when i decided to rewrite it. this part is mostly the aftermath of jake's outburst (jessie's reaction and where jake ended up when the night finished). pls bear with me as i can't guarantee when part three will make it to you :( i appreciate you all so so much! i hope you enjoy the read!

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previous part // masterlist // next part

“I don’t get how you’ve been friends with him for so long. He’s a total dickbag,” Yale said, causing her to let out a breathy laugh. “Something funny, Dice?”

Jessie turned to fully face him, saying matter-of-factly, “Yeah. There is.” He scoffed in return, gaining everyone’s attention, including Rooster who was in the far corner cooling off from the exchange. “He treats everyone like shit, acting like he’s better than all of us. He’s not, and sooner or later he’s gonna get one of us killed.”

The pace of her heart began to quicken and her teeth clenched. “Do you guys even listen to the words that fly out of his mouth?” At this point, she turned to speak to everyone waiting for a response that didn’t come. The room was silent, eyes falling down to the floor or looking blankly at her.

“That’s what I thought,” she started. “I’ll admit what he did crossed the line. He does it often. But a lot of the time he points things out how they are, albeit rather rudely. And what do you all do? You tune him out. He ain’t an angel but would it kill ya to get your heads out of your asses? Maybe then y’all would finally grow up and see past a goddamn callsign.” Her feet carried her out of the room, frustrated at the blank expressions of her fellow pilots even after her spiel. She didn't have time to keep yelling at her peers. Jessie knew the outcome of these kinds of outbursts never ended well. She’d always been his shoulder to lean on after all. But for the first time since they met, he ran away from her. In less than ten minutes, she had already turned the place upside down, but he was nowhere to be found. Her phone was gripped tightly in her hand as she called his cell hoping to hear the sound of a casino jackpot. She thought it was stupid when she found out that it was the ringtone he had set for her. “So I know that it’s you callin’, Jess,” he said.

“His car’s gone,” a voice called from the end of the hall as she came out from the last bathroom she could think to check. She didn't have to look to know who it was, the rasp of his voice giving him away. Hanging her head, she took a seat against the closest wall, her eyes clenched as she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her face. Even as the rhythmic footsteps of boots grew louder and louder, she made no effort to acknowledge his presence. Not until he filled the floorspace next to her. “D’you know why he pushes your buttons every chance he gets?”

Taking his silence as an answer she continued. “It may not look like it, but he admires the shit out of you. Trust me. I was you. Now look at me. And sure, we’ve known each other for a long time but…” She paused, gathering herself and letting her words sink in.

“How long have you known him?” he asked quietly, his voice bordering between a whisper and his normal voice.

That made her chuckle. Raising her head, she leaned her chin atop her folded knees. “High school. I quite literally ran into him on my first day. Face first into his backpack. He helped me find my homeroom and then sat right behind me in sixth period. Then it turned out he lived right across the street from me. I tried to ignore him—God, did I try—but he somehow managed to weaseled his way into my life. Now I can’t even imagine living without him by my side.” He hummed at her answer. It was hard to imagine them as little teenagers. It was hard to imagine him as a little teenager. Rooster’s only ever known Jake Seresin as Hangman. His rival at Top Gun. An utter pain in his ass the second they met. The image of a younger version of the man he knew today that flashed in his head was bewildering.

“All of his bullshit? Trust that it comes from a good place. It’s his way of pushing you to be better. Not that you aren't good at what you do already—you wouldn't be here if you weren't—but there’s always room to improve. He shouldn't have brought up your dad. But everything else? He’s brutal but that’s all tough love. Because at the end of the day his words won't kill you. The mistakes you make up there do.”

She wiped the dust off of her pants as she stood up. “I know there’s a thousand different ways he can go about it but there’s also a shit load more at stake than being named team leader.”

Quick to leave him to think about what she had said, she beelined it to her car. Once the door shut beside her, she leaned her forehead against the wheel. Images of the day flashed in the darkness of her closed eyelids. The constant failures from each of them on the course. Jake’s instigating. Rooster’s outburst. Her intervention. It all happened so fast.

As she stopped at the stoplight leaving base, her phone rang. Jessie was quick to grab her phone and flip it over to see the caller ID, her face falling at the name. Answering it, she placed it on speaker and set it down on the center console, her hand rejoining the other on the steering wheel. “Sir, I want to apologize for Lieutenant Seresin today. He was out of line and-”

He cut her off. “It’s alright, Rosales. Lieutenant Seresin’s actions aren't what I’m calling you for.”

Oh. “We’re gonna be holding training off-base tomorrow at the Hard Deck.”

“The Hard Deck, sir?”

“Yes, I need you there at 1100 but the rest of the team’s coming at 1200. No uniforms either, come in civvies. Something you can sweat in.”

“Does Admiral Simpson know about this?”

“No. I’ll fill you in when I see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Dice.”

“You too, sir. See you tomorrow.” At the monotonic beeps, she picked up her phone again in one hand, the other still on the wheel. Even if he hadn't been answering, she wasn’t going to stop trying.

—

He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there for. All he knew was that the sun was up when he got there and now it was gone, replaced by the white shine of the moon cast along the ocean. Like the setting of the sun, what he knew about his future morphed into a void of uncertainty. But it wasn’t a sudden change. He had felt it happening and chose to ignore it.

In the twenty-something years he and Jessie have known each other, they've had countless fights and arguments. Not that it was a common occurrence, but they're inevitable even if they're over something so minuscule in hindsight. Today felt different. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe she’s finally had enough of him. Who was he kidding? He knew this day would come eventually.

His teammates probably would find it ironic. The famous Hangman being the one left hung out to dry, in his own tears at that. No one else but her knew the actual meaning behind his callsign. She was the one who gave it to him after all. “Don’t worry about them,” she used to say. “You and I know who you are.”

He couldn't get it out of his head. The sharpness of her glare as she stood opposite him. “Why did I do that?” he repeated countless times to himself. Maybe it was just because he could. Or maybe it was envy. His own voice echoed around his skull, overlapping itself and overtaking his senses.

It’s all your fault.

She hates you now.

You deserve to be alone.

Not good enough.

Fuck-up.

Coward.

That’s what he was. A coward. Too scared to own up to his feelings. Too scared to own up to his actions. As Hangman he felt invincible. Everyone believed their own story, and he played along, hiding behind a reputation he wasn't even sure how he got. The only person to ever see past it was Jessie. In the milliseconds his walls came crumbling down in front of everyone, they caught a glimpse of who he really was. It was fight or flight and in the end, Jake Seresin always chooses flight.

The sudden seagull squawks pulled him out of his head. The beach was empty now, the footsteps of other people long washed away by the waves that crashed ashore. He still had to go to work the next morning, and he had been out here long enough. Dusting all of the sand off of his clothes that he could, he took one last deep breath as he stared into the open ocean in front of him. Tomorrow’s a new day, Jake.

Ever since he had taken Amelia home for Penny, he spent a lot of time around the Benjamins. Penny started letting him hang around the house to help her daughter with her homework. Sometimes she'd even invite him over for dinner. In less than a couple days of being back in San Diego, Jake had become an honorary member of the Benjamin family. Sure, he could just go to the Hard Deck to decompress but that was where everyone else went. He didn’t want to torture the squad more than he had to. To his surprise, Penny didn’t hesitate to give him a copy of her house key. Albeit, it was followed by a threat that went along the lines of You so much as break anything or do something stupid in my home or I swear to God. She already knew he wouldn’t do such a thing but it was just funny seeing his face get all white. So when he showed up at her front door that night, his eyes red and puffy, there was no hesitation to let him in. He lost count of how many times he had thanked her as she grabbed some extra linen and pillows and clothes to change into. He didn’t deserve her kindness.

He didn't remember plugging in his phone last night. He didn't even remember asking Penny for a charger to borrow. But there it was, plugged in on the side table of the living room. He only went to look at it to see what time it was but the sight of the dozens of missed calls and unanswered text messages stopped him in his tracks—all of them from Jessie. Text after text. Missed call after missed call. But there was only one voicemail.

I know you’ve seen my texts and my calls and I know you're ignoring me.

Despite her being merely a recording, they took a deep breath in unison. Jake’s hand roughly rubbed over his face as she continued to talk.

If you had answered any one of my calls earlier, I probably would have yelled at you. What you said was beyond fucked-up. You had no right to say any of that, Jake. But I know you. I know you need your space right now but don’t shut me out, alright?

Her voice was quiet now, as if she was trying hard for it not to falter. With his eyes shut, he could practically see her trying to maintain her composure.

Anyways, Mav wants all of y’all at The Hard Deck at 1200 in civvies. Don't dress up though, we’re working out. I think—I don't know, that’s all he told me. Just in case you don't actually listen to this, I texted it to you too amongst the hundreds of the other texts I sent so you better show up. I love you, bub.

When the message ended, he looked at the time stamp. Midnight. Only five hours ago. Jake threw his phone aside and ran his hands over his face, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. It would’ve been fine if things went right back to normal. Well, not entirely fine, but he liked it when his day had structure. It made everything easier. What had happened yesterday and the apparent change in today’s training agenda just left more room for things to go wrong—for him to mess up again. Just the thought of facing everyone sent his mind into overdrive.

He hadn’t realized how long he had sat in that same position for. The early morning quiet of the Benjamin house allowed him to get lost in his never ending thoughts. He was sure only a few minutes had passed but the sound of footsteps drew him out of his daze. It was then he realized he had been practically staring a hole into Penny’s carpet for the last two hours.

“Morning, Jake,” Penny greeted, a hot cup of coffee in her hands. “Hope the couch wasn’t too bad.”

He accepted the cup and hummed as he took a sip. “It was fine, Pen.” He took a breath. “Thank you… for letting me crash here. M’sorry for showing up so late, but I didn’t-”

She took a seat next to him. “No need to apologize, sweetie. I understand.” Jake’s head hung as he stared at and fiddled with the cup in his hands. “D’you wanna talk about it?”

He hesitated. “You don’t have to if you don’t-”

“I brought up Goose,” he interrupted quickly. At his admission, Penny took a deep breath and sighed. Despite losing touch with Maverick for a while, she knew what had happened over thirty years ago. How it affected everyone. How it still affects everyone. “I don’t know why I did it. I know how fucked it is but I just- Fuck.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t apologized yet.”

“How could I? I threw his dad’s death in his face,” he shrugged, placing his coffee cup down before throwing his face in his hands. “He’s probably gonna sock me on the spot—not that I don’t deserve it.” Jake took a breath as he tried to compose himself as his eyes started to water.

“No one’s perfect, Jake. Not Maverick. Not Rooster. Not you. We all make mistakes. Some we regret, some we don’t. You obviously regret this one so make up for it. No more running.”

Before she could say any more, Amelia jogged into the living room. “Mom, what’s for- Oh, hey, Jake.”

“Hey, Ames,” he greeted with a small smile on his face as he wiped his eyes. “Didn’t make anything today, kiddo. Go pour yourself some cereal, okay?” The young girl lingered for a second as she looked at her mother and Jake before turning around and heading for the kitchen. No more running.

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pedroscurls · 1 year ago

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Always Been You (Part 6).

Character(s): no-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!Reader Summary: After the night you shared with Joel, you decide that you're finally ready to get back out there and date. Word count: 3,804 Author's Note: The angst is finally here y'all... This is the chapter right before the next time jump! Stay tuned and enjoy. Warning: Cursing, yelling. SERIES MASTERLIST

“You tellin’ me that neither of you talked about what happened that night?” Tommy asked, sitting across from Joel in his kitchen.

“No,” Joel sighed. “I ain’t even sure if she remembers.”

“It’s been two weeks, Joel. Why don’t you just bring it up?”

“Because if she doesn’t remember, how embarrassing would that be?” Joel shook his head. “What am I even supposed to say? Hey, d’ya remember that night where we fell asleep on your couch? Yeah, d’ya remember that dance we shared? How we almost kissed?”

“Yes, exactly that. Say exactly that,” Tommy said.

“Nah,” Joel replied. “I’ll just let it be. We’re fine the way we are.”

“Don’t that get tiring?” Tommy asked. “You keep tellin’ yourself that and sure, it’s been two years since y’all met, but it’s only a matter of time that she starts dating. Then what are you gonna do?”

Joel shrugged. “I don’t know, Tommy.”

“You love her, don’t you?”

Joel tightened his jaw, looking away from his younger brother for a moment. “You already know the answer to that, Tommy.”

“I wanna hear you say it.”

Joel grumbled and stood up from the kitchen table to walk around the counter to refill his coffee mug. He leaned against the counter and looked over at Tommy, who was leaning back against his seat with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Joel, just say it.”

“Yes, I love her,” Joel answered. “I love her so much, Tommy, but I’m scared. The last time I felt this way about someone, she left and don’t get me wrong, she gave me Sarah, but it still hurt like hell,” he admitted.

“Yeah, but she was–”

“Don’t,” Joel said.

“All I’m sayin’ is that she ain’t nothin’ like Sarah’s mom.”

“How d’ya know?” Joel asked. “What happens if we do get together and it doesn’t work out? What happens then, hm? It ain’t just me that will be getting hurt. It’s Sarah too.”

“Love ain’t always easy,” Tommy shrugged. “And it’s harder when you’ve got a kid, but you ever wonder if she loves you too?”

Joel bit his lower lip, looking down at his mug. It was all he could think about in the last two weeks. Joel had always noticed the way you looked at him, how you always gave him your undivided attention, how you bit your lower lip whenever he complimented you, the subtle touches on his arm, but he just assumed it was because you were so comfortable with him. After all, you both were best friends.

“I don’t know, Tommy.”

“Joel,” he chuckled. “She fell asleep with you… On top of you.”

“Best friends–”

“Don’t do that,” Tommy finished. “We both know friends don’t do that.”

“I just don’t want to lose her,” Joel said honestly. “I don’t want to risk what we built.”

“This could be your one,” Tommy replied. “She’s good with Sarah. She tolerates you.”

Joel rolled his eyes and glanced over at his phone, seeing your name pop up on the screen. He looked over the message and furrowed a brow, handing it to Tommy for his younger brother to read.

Can you stop by the coffee shop? I wanna tell you something. In person.

“Ominous,” Tommy pointed out. “Maybe she’s gonna make the first move.”

“Y’think so?” Joel asked, sending a quick response that he’ll be there in an hour. “She’s just–”

“Different?” Tommy asked. “I ain’t ever seen you like this, Joel. She must be pretty special.”

“She is,” he sighed. “But I mean it… If the only way I can have her is by being her friend, I’m okay with that.”

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. “Sure, let’s see if you feel that way when she tells you she wants to start dating and she’s already got a date lined up.”

Joel shrugged and stood up from the table to set his now-empty mug in the sink. He looked over at Tommy and grabbed his jacket, pulling it on. “Can you pick Sarah up later?”

“Of course,” Tommy said. “Let me know how it goes?”

Joel nodded. “Sure. Just hopin’ that whatever she’s got to tell me, it’s good news.”

“I’m rooting for you, brother. For the both of you.” Tommy stood and clasped Joel’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “And if it means anythin’, I see the way she looks at you. So either you make the first move or she does, but if neither of you do, then y’all are just gonna be goin’ round in circles.”

“We’ll see,” Joel sighed.

“And if you really do love her, would you be willing to let her go and be with someone else? Or would you risk it all for somethin’ that may be actually worth it?”

Joel bit his lower lip; he had a lot to think about. The past couple of weeks, all he could think about was you. It was hard to not mention that one night and continue with your friendship like nothing happened. He had whispered to you that night that he loved you and part of him wished that you were awake to hear it because he didn’t think he had the courage (like he did that night) to repeat it to you. The fear of losing you was too great of a risk.

“Since when have you been so wise like this?” Joel teased.

“Always, hermano.” Tommy chuckled. “I’ve always been this wise.”

“Right,” he smiled. “I suppose only when you want to be.”

“Exactly.”

—

An hour later, Joel walked into your coffee shop and noticed you working from behind the counter, helping your employees make drinks. He felt his heart swell at the sight of you; you were smiling, conversing with your employees and customers, and when he heard your laugh, Joel felt like he had fallen in love with you all over again.

When your eyes met his, Joel winked in your direction and he could have sworn he saw that same biting of your lower lip as you dropped your eyes. He was sure that he could see a blush appear along your cheeks. When you finished a drink, he saw you come from around the counter and walk towards him. Joel met you halfway and was taken by surprise when you pulled him into a hug.

“Oh, hi there,” Joel chuckled. “Everythin’ ok?”

You nodded, taking his hand and leading him to a table in the corner. “Yes, everything’s great. I just– I have good news.”

“Oh?” Joel arched a brow, now noticing the excitement in your eyes and features. It was infectious and Joel couldn’t help but smile. “Well, what is it?”

“Okay, um,” you bit your lower lip and looked deep into his eyes. “I think I’m ready to start dating again…”

Joel cleared his throat. “Are you sure?” He shook his head. “What I mean is that do you feel ready to start dating? I just wanna make sure you’re okay and–”

“I got asked out on a date last night when I was helping my team close up,” you interrupted.

“You did?” Joel felt a tightness in his chest at the news; while it may have been good news for you, it wasn’t good news for him. He hated to admit that Tommy was right and he wasn’t sure if this moment was ever going to come, but now that he was here, Joel didn’t know how to react. He was at a loss for words.

“I did,” you smiled. “He seems nice. He’s been in here a few times. His name’s Sam. He’s a professor at the local community college, teaches English, and he’s taking me out tonight.”

“Seems pretty fast,” Joel mumbled. He didn’t know how he could even compete with this man; Joel never went to college and he was still trying to build his own business, but this… This Sam seemed like he had his entire life figured out.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean that he asked you out last night and now you’re going out with him tonight? I don’t know,” Joel shrugged. “Seems pretty weird to me.”

“Weird?” you furrowed your brows together and sighed. “He seems really nice, Joel.”

“Oh, I’m sure he is. Have you seen how you look, darlin’? Anyone would be nice to you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Joel sighed. “I just mean that you’re a beautiful woman and that if someone is interested in you, they’re not gonna treat you like shit.”

“Robert did.”

“Robert’s an asshole.”

“I thought you’d be happy for me,” you sighed. “Are you not happy for me?”

Joel tightened his jaw. Truthfully, he wasn’t. He didn’t want you to be with anyone else but him. “I am,” he sighed. “I just want you to be sure that this is what you want, that you’re actually ready.”

“I think I am.”

“But how do you know for sure?”

“Joel,” you sighed. “Do you not want me to go out with him?”

“You’re a grown woman who can make her own decisions. I’m just lookin’ out for you.”

“And I appreciate that,” you said, reaching out to rest your hand on his forearm.

Joel cleared his throat and pulled his arm away from you, causing you to look up at him with confusion in your eyes. He could also see the slight hurt in your features and saw you immediately moved your hands back to your lap.

“I’m just gonna go,” Joel sighed. “I hope you have fun on your date.”

“Wait, Joel, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Just don’t want you getting hurt. You don’t really have a good track record with men–”

“Seriously?”

Joel immediately regretted what he said the moment it left his lips. He ran a hand over his face and looked around, noticing that your coffee shop was becoming increasingly busier. “Can we just talk upstairs in your apartment?”

“Why? So you can lecture me even more? Do you really think that Robert cheating on me was my fault?”

“No,” Joel shook his head. “Not at all. M’sorry for what I said, but–”

“But?” you sighed and stood up from your chair, biting your lower lip as you looked at him with tears filling your eyes. “I thought sharing with you that I was ready to date would be a good thing… It means that I’m ready to get out there, that Robert no longer has control over my life… And I wanted to tell you because you’re my best friend, but instead you–”

“Darlin’,” Joel interrupted, standing up and gently taking your hand. “Please, can we just talk somewhere quieter?”

“No. I think I just need some space right now from you.” You pulled your hand away from his and sighed quietly. “You’re right. I think you should go, Joel.”

“Darlin’,” he repeated.

“Have a good day, cowboy.”

Joel watched you turn on your heel, noticing that you were walking towards the door that led to your apartment. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to fix this, how to make you not mad at him. He hated being on the receiving end of it, to see that the cause of your tears were because of him. He didn’t like it. With a deep breath, he followed you and saw you ascend the stairs before you turned around to look down at him.

“I don’t wanna leave like this,” Joel said, looking up at you as he slowly ascended the stairs. “I don’t like that you’re mad at me. I don’t like that you’re about to cry because of me.”

“I have needs, you know,” you whispered. “It’s been two years, Joel.” You looked up at him, a subtle blush appearing on your cheeks as you implied that the needs you were referring to had nothing to do with emotional connection. You received that just perfectly fine with Joel. No, you needed more. You needed physical touch, you needed someone to–

“So, you’re ready to date and have sex with someone you just met?”

“Well, who else am I supposed to have sex with? You?” You bit your lower lip and looked deeply into his eyes. Part of you was screaming for him to just make a move, to tell you that he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him.

Joel cleared his throat. He noticed the way you were looking at him and the way you darted your tongue to lick your lower lip. He wished he had the strength to just say yes, but instead, he just shrugged. “I don’t know, darlin’. I’m just tryin’ to look out for you here.”

“And I’m a grown woman who can make my own decisions,” you repeated. “I’ll be okay.”

“Will you?”

“Only one way to find out, right?”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt,” Joel whispered.

“I’ll be okay,” you repeated. “You and Sarah have empowered me, have shown me to love myself again, but I’m ready to– to get out there again.”

“And what happens if you get hurt again? Then what?”

“If that happens, I’ll figure it out.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Joel said through gritted teeth. “I don’t think you’re ready.”

“What is your problem, Joel?”

“My problem is you!” He yelled, taking a deep breath. He didn’t mean that, but if he was being honest, you had been a constant problem for him (though in a good way): how you occupied his mind every second of the day, how well you got along with Sarah, how you made him feel so special and so seen… Joel was jealous and he didn’t know how to express that he wanted you to be his.

“Wow,” you whispered, tears slowly trickling down your cheeks. “You’re a real asshole.”

“M’sorry,” Joel sighed. “I’m just frustrated.”

“You?” you shook your head. “I’m the one who should be frustrated. How dare you even say that I’m your problem! I never asked you to stick by my side, Joel!”

“And what was I supposed to do? Let you deal with your shit alone? No, I care about you too much to do that.”

“Oh yeah,” you said sarcastically. “I can definitely see how much you care about me right now.”

“What if Sam hurts you? What happens when you come to me, crying?”

“It’s just a first date, Joel!”

“Yeah, but you’re–” Joel sighed. “It’s hard not to love you, darlin’.”

You looked at him directly, seeing the inner turmoil in his deep brown eyes. You didn’t know what he was saying, but you felt your heart skip a beat. You were so deeply in love with Joel but you didn’t know if he ever felt the same way, but now, with the way he was looking at you and the words that just left his lips, it gave you a glimmer of hope that maybe he felt the same way too.

Going out with Sam was only a way for you to get your mind off Joel, get your mind off that one night that you shared with him two weeks ago. Robert was no longer the issue, it was Joel. You loved him so much that you were afraid to even take that chance to tell him how you felt because you didn’t want to risk your friendship with him.

That night you fell asleep on him had been the comfiest and safest you had ever felt. Waking up in his arms was a feeling you had never felt before. Before you thought Robert was the one, but Joel made you feel things that you only heard or seen about in books or movies: the way your world stopped whenever you saw him, or the way your heart skipped a beat when he would pull you into a tight embrace, or maybe the feeling of safety whenever you were around him or in his arms… Joel made you feel seen, heard, and like you were always the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

You were so deeply in love with him that it hurt. It hurt because you knew that you couldn’t take that risk to be more than friends with him. It hurt because you knew that there was more to lose if you decided to tell him how you felt. It hurt because while you had a date set up with someone you weren’t even remotely interested in, you were sure that you would react the same way Joel was reacting if he told you that he was going out with a woman he met.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Joel whispered quietly.

“I know,” you sighed. “But I’ll be okay.”

Joel tightened his jaw and shook his head. He took several steps down to give himself some space from you. It hurt; how come you couldn’t see how much he loved you, how much he wanted you to be his?

How come he couldn’t just say how he felt?

This was doing more damage to the friendship you both built and Joel didn’t know how to repair it, how to move forward.

“Joel–”

“Have fun on your date,” he said.

“Joel,” you repeated.

Joel gave you one last look before turning on his heel and leaving your stairway to enter back into the coffee shop. Quickly, he stormed out and made his way to his truck, feeling the tightness in his chest grow more and more prominent. He left the parking lot in a loud screech, driving back to his home to drown his sorrows.

—

You remained standing in your stairwell, watching Joel leave in a rush. You felt tears sting your eyes, threatening to spill over as you turned on your heel to walk back upstairs and into your apartment.

Why couldn’t he just tell you how he felt?

Why couldn’t you just tell him how much you loved him?

Instead, the fear of risking your friendship with him had seemed to put a rift between you just at the mere conversation of you telling him that you were ready to date and that you were going out with someone you just met. Truthfully, you didn’t think he would react this way; sure, you assumed he would tell you to be careful, be safe, but you weren’t expecting him to bring Robert up.

As you were getting ready for your date, your mind was occupied with thoughts of Joel. Maybe it was selfish of you to accept a date with a stranger when you knew your heart was with someone else, but it wasn’t until today on your staircase that you finally caught a glimpse of the possibility that Joel might feel the same way.

It was just supposed to be a casual dinner, which was your request. Sam was supposed to pick you up in less than an hour and you were dressed in black jeans that reached your ankles with a simple white, fitted tank top and an olive green cardigan over it. Slipping on your sandals, you moved a hand to run through your loose curls. You kept checking your phone, not to see if Sam texted you, but to see if you had any missed messages or calls from Joel. Each time you were met with zero notifications, a sense of disappointment flooded you.

You tried calling him, tried to leave him messages, but each one was unanswered.

And even now, when your phone rang and you saw Sam’s name on the screen, you felt a sense of dread. You didn’t want him. You wanted Joel.

Yet, you still answered Sam’s call, still told him that you’d be out in a second, and you still went out on the date with him. You were craving tacos and there was an event going on with several food trucks downtown that he brought you to.

Sam was tall, a bit leaner, and just a few years older than Joel. He already had some streaks of gray at his temples (which he liked to joke and blame it on the stressful environment of being a professor). He made you laugh throughout the night, made you smile, but you couldn’t help but compare him to Joel in the back of your mind.

Throughout the night, he would graze his hand with yours as you both walked side by side. Each time you felt his hand though, all you could think about was Joel and how being in his arms was the one place you wanted to be.

And so at the end of the night, when Sam dropped you back off at your coffee shop, you gave him a hug and told him that you had a good time. He asked you out on a second date, but you said that while you had fun, there wasn’t a connection like you hoped. You could see the disappointment in his eyes, but Sam simply nodded, gave you a kiss on the cheek and said, “whoever’s got your heart is a lucky man.”

And when he pulled away, he chuckled at the sight of look of surprise on your features.

“How did you–”

“You’re a great woman,” he smiled. “It’s hard not to see that.”

“But you barely know me…”

“I know enough,” Sam said softly. “You seem to be hardworking – you have your own business. You treat everyone you meet with so much kindness and respect, and that’s just from what I’ve seen tonight.”

“Sam, I’m–”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he interrupted. “I’m just lucky you gave me a chance.”

“I really did have a great time. The food was amazing.”

Sam chuckled. “Would it be weird if I still come by to your coffee shop?”

You smiled. “Not weird at all. Thank you for being so,” you sighed. “Understanding.”

Sam gave you one last peck on the cheek before he was walking away and back towards his car that he parked across the street. You let out a sigh and walked into your coffee shop, locking the door behind you as you made your way towards the back of the room to enter your stairs up to your apartment.

As you walked inside, you slipped your sandals off and grabbed your phone and decided to give Joel a call. You bit your lower lip nervously and walked towards your bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes.

When he didn’t pick up, you contemplated on whether or not to leave a message. There was a few seconds of silence before you hung up the phone.

There were some things better said in person.

You just hoped that this didn’t ruin your friendship with Joel.

But part of you knew that it was going to change your dynamic with him moving forward.

—

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