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✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 21/11✨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hi! Would Macaque kidnap Wukong again? I read your comic, the last page, where Macaque is the kidnapping expert. And I'm very curious about it. Anyway, I love your comics! You are awesome.
Haha I don't think they really need it unless they want to do a "traditional wedding courtnapping" but it would be pretty odd since they kind of already live togehter.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I know this is definitely a LONG ways away, but, imagine: Wukong and Macaque playing the newlyweds game. What questions? What answers? Who’s asking the questions? Who’s getting the most right?
I wont list all the lesson but I think Macaque would get most of them right just because Wukong never really changed a lot during the years, while Macaque went through different stages of his life, and and he has new hobbies and tastes.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Will mk have a nightmare about LBD? If yes Then we will have some angst with fluffy monkeys family moments!!!
Oh he has. He has many. Most of them he has while he is at pigsy's.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can you please shows up a flashback backstory on how MK/Wukong discovered/found out/came out as trans?? 🙏🙏🙏 Banana sundae with chocolate sauce, rainbow sprinkles, THREE cherries, and a super-deluxe one-and-only Monkie King™️ collectible spoon???
Anonimo ha chiesto: will we see any past Shadowpeach?? I’m interested to see how you frame their dynamic back 5en.
Hahah maybe in the future, I'll see
Anonimo ha chiesto: Can we get Wukong telling dad jokes? Please, I’m begging i want to see MK laughing and Macaque just being so disappointed with Wukong yet so smitten. I want to see more Monkey family domestic blissss. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I don't have my dad jokes book here but man give Macaque an award for the patience he has with these two children
@goofybearclown ha chiesto: Hi :3 Just wanted to say I love your shadowpeach and cotl AU!!! I didn't notice you made both at first but when I did I was like "waow :0". Tbh your works are in my top 3 series on Tumblr! @fenikzia ha chiesto: I love your LMK comic so much, I look forward to reading the new additions to it when they come out every other day,and reading your comic just makes my day better. Even if it hasn't updated a particular day, I make sure to go back and reread the newest part.Keep doing what you're doing and make sure to take breaks! @skye-minecraftyt-blog ha chiesto: You! I like you! Your Bio parents Lmk au always makes me extremely happy and I regularly reread it. ((o(^∇^)o)) Just wanted to say it @blazeandsilver ha chiesto: Hello, I just wanted to say your artwork is absolutely stunning, it makes my day whenever I see that you posted something new to the BioParents comic. Please keep up the good work and be sure to take some time for yourself, you’re important too.
AWWWWWW THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Hihi shadowpeach au question: You mentioned in the latest comic that Mac is more lean and skinny than Wukong. Will we ever see the full extent of that?? ALSO I ADORE YOUR ART OMG ❤️❤️
A fully naked Macaque you say? Maybe.... who knows....
Anonimo ha chiesto: I come to defend Wukong acting like a man looking at a victorian lady ankles, he hasn’t seen his (ex) husband’s fur in centuries. And he probably hasn’t socialize in years either besides MK and the gang. Romantically he is stunned right? I doubt he has even looked at anyone besides Macaque anyways…
Honestly I like to think that Macaque was the only being in all the universe that was eer able to make him flustered
@mochalikesdrawing ha chiesto: So I got a question, will we ever get to see kaiju MK again?
I have a scene post AU I would like to draw. Maybe.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Ignoring all the angst because it is crushing my soul /pos, I'm lowkey convinced that Macaque knows Wukong feels some kind of way about him because he can hear his heartbeat go crazy at certain moments and isn't dumb, but just isn't calling Wukong on it because he's still trying to sort his own feelings first. BUT ONCE HE DOES OH BOY-
Hahah Macaque knows perfectly well Wukong is down for him. In the meantime Wukong is alwasy afraid he's just imagining things bc he's dense af.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Do you think Wukong and macaque would be cuddling and macaque would be watching something scary and Wukong would be trying to not pay attention to it because he hates scary stuff or would it be the other way around?
yess
@ep2nd ha chiesto: In your shadowpeach bio parents au, if MK and Wukong were created by Nuwa, with Nuwa using Macaque and Wukong as a base, has anyone wondered who created Macaque? And does Macaque himself knows?
Wait Nuwa created Wukong? If that's so I think then all the 5 monkeys were made by her, for some reason.
@boonalina ha chiesto: Sooo what exactly is the courtnapping process like? Is it just a simple "I'm gonna pick you up and carry you away" or is it an entire ceremony? Does someone have to lure the person into place? For example, Mei bringing Redson over to a secluded spot so that Mk can "courtnap" him? (Side note: I've been in this fandom for around two years now, and this comic is what made me find out about courtnapping lol)
I "think" anything that can be counted as like a sneak attack that takes them out of guard and brings them to the designated courtnapped room can be considered as courtnapping technically.
Anonimo ha chiesto: ... Hey so your shadow peach bio parent AU is better way better than season five. WOAH, WHO SAID THAT!! (no but seriously it is like a sitcom I tune on ever so often. Much love 🫶)
Haha thank you! That's a HUGE statement!
Anonimo ha chiesto: I wonder if MK has any unique attributes/abilities as a living mass of celestial material?
He's such a cocktail ofdifferent energies I wouldn't be surprised he is able to glow in the dark.
@cjtuy ha chiesto: I do have a question it's mainly about pigsy and tang when and how long have they been together as a couple and did both of them find mk are they married ?
They have been together for almost a year, but I don't think they are married, but maybe that could happen in the future??? But yeah MK found out a little after season 5 that they are together, that was also the same time he started calling Tang "Papa"
Anonimo ha chiesto: Has macaque added any personal items to the house? Like is he moved in? Have Wukong and macaque improved or changed anything else besides making the bed bigger?
Yes he did! Half of his belongins are in FFM, althought he's a little more minimalistic than Wukong. He also have been bothering Wukong to death so that he can finally organize his stuff (and they were roomates
Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like if they were to play Minecraft or something macaque would be the base mom. He would be the only one to remember to farm food to not starve. The others would probably forget all the time that hunger is a thing in game. Wukong or Mk: oh dang does anyone have food I'm starving Macaque: (always brings extra for this reason) "sighs" yes
AH!
Anonimo ha chiesto: Remember the Minor Scale episode, from season 2? Where MK learn how to shrink himself? And there’s also the final episode of that season where MK just grow very big to try to fight LBD. I just love that part of his power and I have seen very little people showing it. Like, sometimes that power can show up when the poor boy is experiencing overwhelming emotions that can’t be contained anymore, or pure exhaustion. For example, Having many responsibility can lead to a lot of stress and exhaustion and at some point MK just can’t do more and just become tiny, not able to do more. On the opposite, maybe he experience trauma again through a nightmare (like about azure for example) and the emotional burden is to much and he just becomes big because of that. You see my vision? I love sizeshifting base on emotions :)
Aww and i love emotion-based powers, they are just so easy to play around.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Tbh the show should let macaque have a motorcycle. Wukong gets to be passenger princess
Yesss
Anonimo ha chiesto: as we get into the colder months i like to imagine MK’s first winter coat and he’s all super fluffy and warm
Cool for the monkey parents, bad for pigsy and all the hair in the restaurant from sheeding.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I think it would be so funny if MKs rock hadn't been cracked and he'd been raised on FFM by wukong. If the same thing happens in the show macaque planning to take mks powers thinking he's just Wukongs student but then while macaque and MK are training. Since macaque is so close he notices his ears. (Being raised by a monkey he gets his form sooner) suddenly putting everything on hold busting into FFM and is like WUKONG WTF
There's a fic on AO3 about it it's A Son of Two Dads
@cheese-hommo ha chiesto: Hii, fiesta I want to say I love how you draw and everything, it just looks so cool and beautiful. Now, with the last chapter of Monkey parents Au and so, with the acknowledgement of the demon etiquette and else, DBK and Wukong really misunderstand the comfort scene for a confession? Or something more? It was just so funny seeing the two of them getting so embarrassed at the end 🙂↕️
Ah, 2 young demons in their true forms so close to each other, blushing? Scandalous.
Anonimo ha chiesto: I've seen Mk is his Lego merch- he gots a tooth gap- so does this MK have one or did he get it filled?
Wait that was a tooth gap??? I though it was like, a detail of the smile
Anonimo ha chiesto: 🎤 what is your official (if any) opinion on Ink MK? (as a character, plot device, literary parallel, what have you)
It's ok. I personally believe "shadow" version of one character with their own fears and doubts is a clique a little bit too much used. But they give a lot of angst.
Anonimo ha chiesto: Thoughts on Macaque knowing either Japanese or Korean due to him liking anime.
I'll give you one better. Macaque always traveled to Japan pretty frequently during the centuries. Then became a weeb
Anonimo ha chiesto: Maybe it's just me but Wukong looks a bit thicker each time, is it because his fur's thickening or is he getting chubbier ??????? Anyway luv ur art
Both.
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It's normal for teens to be attracted to other teens, hell it's normal for teens to find adults attractive, but I do think that like. The phenomenon I witnessed in the circles I saw here on tumblr and twitter where we had *Grown Men, Women, And Everyone in-Between Or Neither Or Otherwise*, people who are adults, constantly talking about how bad Castoria needed to get fucked or how much of a sex pervert she was ... I don't know how anyone can witness anyone talking like that about a teenager and not be like, WTF? It was fucked up because so much of LB6 is strictly about Castoria's trauma and neglect, how she only could rely on Ector, and how her supports have been ripped away from her, and how she's expected to do this grand act without a chance to live humanely or experience life or love... and people just wouldn't shut up about sex or petplay or fucking whatever. And she's like just a teenager. She's 16. But people kept acting like she had absolutely insane raging hormones, and projecting their own sexuality onto her, and the shit ppl wrote and drew was like... bro is she not like in dire need of some happiness that doesn't assume sex fixes everything about her? Or rather, do you idiots really think sex just cures you and everything you ever went through? Is sex the end goal of happiness for yall? It just felt demented as fuck. Like, who cares? But also why is it any of their business?
That's what drives me nuts and people talk about it seriously when it's like, American media, like I read conversations discussing how weird it is that tv runners and filmmakers love hyperfocusing in on teenage sexuality & sexualizing teenagers, how burdensome that for teens they can't enjoy media meant for their age group without *somebody* joyfully writing or trying to depict how much Sex they're having or how Sexy they are... I'm not even asexual, I just think this is a patriarchal problem that a ton of people just decided didn't matter anymore. Like it's ok to sexualize teen girls because they're teenagers. And if they're anime it's doubly okay because otaku don't care about that stuff. "Buh its Fikshon. Its make believe its pretend" type excuses made by people who think you don't passively absorb messages about how you should be acting, how you should talk, or look, or behave, depending on the positive connotation and depiction of anything in media. Like we're already aware we are slaves to advertising. Im getting ahead of myself here so let me like recap my thoughts:
- I think a ton of adults have this assumption that fictionality means 1) No teens will see it and internalize Sex = Value, 2) No adults will internalize that it's ok to treat teens like this and start behaving strangely towards teenagers
- "oh well then we should never depict teenage sexuality" How about this: Teenage sexuality has rarely been depicted with the dignity that allows teens to process real emotions about it rather than simply existing as spectacle and entertainment for pedophilic, boundary-lacking, disrespectful adults. And teens know this.
- Castoria is just so blatantly a little girl that needs like guidance and support and real ways of treating her like a person first that when I see people jump to speculating her sex life or talk about fulfilling her through sex I just want to strangle them. It is mostly adults that I have witnessed doing this and very rarely teens.
- I don't trust these adults because I think they have implicit bias directed towards being disrespectful of the boundary between adults and teenagers, they likely don't understand that that boundary is about respect, it's about treating those younger and less experienced than you with dignity and not forcing expectations onto them, they don't understand that negating that boundary is predation. A teenager is not your emotional equal. Or rather, they shouldn't be -- and if they are, and you're an adult, you need to understand your own maturity being on par with a teenager's doesn't mean you have the right to make adult expectations of a teenager. & I think that last bit as a principle applies to Many, Many things, not just sexual abuse dynamics
- I think if people try to strawman and say "well we can never talk about sex ed then" are also stupid because any sex educator will tell you there are clear cut boundary respectful ways that you can advise minors on sex ed and health that are able to answer their questions Without being disrespectful towards the minors involved or prying or treating them as equals to you.
- The older I get the more I realize the sheer and utter gap between a 16-17 yo and Any person above like. TWENTY years old and I start getting angrier and angrier the more instances I see of people talking about teens, fictional teens, teenagers in media, ETC. like they're sex symbols instead of like. Just. Kids. They're kids. They are literally kids that are growing up. My god. You do not really start to understand until you hit like 25 on average, I think, how absolutely batshit insane it is for ppl to be fantasizing about teenagers. & Quite frankly. I find it all starkly antifeminist and properly aligned with fascist ideals to be obsessed with this kind of thing as a virtue of sexual ""liberation"" or whatever people are saying these days. What exactly is liberatory about this and who does it benefit? In what way? What kind of ideas and power does this align with in our current political climate?
Asides from her being 16 years old it does make me insane when people talk about how bad they wanna fuck Castoria or how bad they need her to get fucked or something. I think these people are just straight up deranged. Maybe its bc I have kids but like theres noooo fucking way anyone who looks at Castoria and is fantasizing about anything sexual wrt her isn't a predator in some way bc how the fuck do you look at a sheltered, emotionally neglected 16 yr old like that and start immediately thinking about sex. She should be doing a nature walk field study and like playing basketball with her friends and going to hot topic not doing whatever the hell these weirdos think she should be doing lmfao
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concept: unromanced eleanor as drifter's romantic advisor and wingwoman. how successful she actually is at this depends on how serious she's feeling.
#ni blabs#warframe#warframe spoilers#warframe 1999#eleanor nightingale#[lettie is letting you hold a rat. as far as i'm concerned you two are basically engaged now.]#[that radio thing- somachord. see if you can't bring that back for aoi. listen to something with her.#because honestly if i have to hear her loop that boyband song through her mind one more time-]#[...what? don't look to me for advice on talking games with amir.#just because i can read his mind doesn't mean i understand what an iframe is.]#[...maybe if you pretend that you don't know what a gun is hard enough quincy'll do that thing where he stands behind you#while teaching you how to shoot? i don't know i'm just spitballing here.]#[good luck trying to get my brother to focus on anything but all the impending doom. you're going to need it.]#idk if any of this is super ooc for her it's 4 in the morning#...i need to stop making these posts during the witching hour and get more sleep#tumblr WHY are you fucking up my tags.#fine i won't use quotation marks. Are You Happy Now.
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I redrew something I made last year for the Heart and Soul series anniversary last year :D
From @post-it-notes7
Old one under the cut
#I know the anniversary passed a while ago but i could do something on time :'D#kirby#kirby series#meta knight#my art#kirby fanart#please read the fic if you haven't already#I'm really happy on how I've improved :D#also Mir PIN if you're reading this#thank you for writing and drawing such wonderful things you are an inspiration to me#click for better quality tumblr murdered it#heart and soul series
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YOU DON'T GIVE YOURSELF ENOUGH CREDIT MAE
I love how you were able to put so much emotion in a ficlet, and the way you describe everything and make your sentences flow! Writing is also an art and you wield that (writing) brush with such grace <333
And you're absolutely welcome! This community has been nothing but supportive to me, and I think you were one of my first followers (I think you were my first mutual, actually!) and you've been so kind to me since I first set a hesitant step into the Tumblr-verse (I was so shy help)
As a huge Vaughn simp, I technically can't call Rex 'the cutest Captain of the 501st', but I love him so much that I might agree with you for a while (at least after reading this fic <3)!
And YES it happens sometimes, your own writing putting tears into your eyes. And if it does, you should know you're on the right track because we all love it when there's tear jerking ✨emotions✨ being sprinkled into the mixture
Also Lupe Ramble™, I love it haha 😂 I'm forever grateful for the cut-feature because I feel like I'm always oversharing, but I'm happy to hear at least some of you enjoy my ramblings!
If I could have chosen my first language, it would be English. The way you make your sentences flow is way more sophisticated than me yeeting bitterballen and pepernoten into my daily life (although they are delicious, you should try them, but not together, that's weird)!
Keep on writing, you're doing amazing <333
More Than That
Pairing: Captain Rex x reader
Summary: Something has been on your mind, but you should have known your lover Rex would see right through you.
WC: 1,150
CW: A little angsty (secret relationship, anger over the tragedy of the clones, pining) with a happier ending, hurt/comfort, a side of fluff, sweetheart Rex, mando’a words.
A/N: here’s 1,100+ words that literally fell out of my brain after I got out of work tonight. Lately I’ve been thinking too much about the clones creation and I guess this is where it came out 🤷🏼♀️ This is barely proofread. Also don’t come at me if I got the mando’a sentence structure wrong kthnx.
Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum = 93.5% sure that means I love you. source
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Meshla?” Rex's gloved fingertips brushed the inside of your arm, pulling you from your distant thoughts and into the familiar whirlwind of sensations his touch always ignited in you. Not just his touch, everything about him from his warmth to his scent to the sound of his voice had a magnetic effect on you.
Instead, you stiffened and gently pulled away, wrapping your arms around yourself.
"Rex... sometimes I just can't think straight when you're touching me," you murmured, regret coloring your voice. "I'm sorry." You stepped back, and he let his hand fall to his side.
His eyes softened, concern in his gaze. "Hey," he said in a low voice. "It's okay." He removed his gloves and extended his hand, leaving the choice to touch him up to you. "Talk to me?" he encouraged softly. You took several steadying breaths before sliding your hand into his, his touch now grounding you as he guided you to the stack of crates in the corner.
Rex waited for you to sit before settling next to you, the small space seeing you pressed together from shoulder to knee. He then sat stoically at your side as you sorted through your thoughts.
Anger bubbled into your throat at your own selfish feelings—the fear of losing Rex suddenly in battle, and the anguish in knowing that if he survived to the end of the war, the cruel reality was that the Kaminoans had engineered the clones with a half life. It wasn't fair. Yet, you refused to say anything that might make Rex feel compelled to console you about the tragedy of the clone's existence—one he was already well aware of.
“It’s something I need to make peace with myself, Rex.” You smiled softly up at him. “I know you’d swoop in with a daring rescue if you could, but you already have to bear so many burdens…let me keep this one for you.”
Rex regarded you carefully, his golden eyes searching your face. You loved how his eyebrows furrowed so deeply when he was trying to sort you out.
He reached out, hesitating for just a moment before brushing his thumb across your cheek. The tender gesture made your heart ache, knowing that even these small moments of affection were stolen between duties and battles. His touch lingered, as if memorizing the feeling of your skin beneath his fingertips.
“There’s something else.” he said in a low voice. It wasn’t a question.
You chuckled a little at how intensely perceptive your sweet Captain was becoming lately. He was spending too much time with Ahsoka. You sighed, steeling yourself for what you were about to say.
"You've always meant more to me than those moments we were able to steal away. I know we agreed it was best to keep that way but…Rex I…I can't pretend anymore," you said softly before locking eyes with him, chest tightening, knowing that opening this conversation would likely prompt him to end things—he was far too honorable to drag you through whatever pain he thought might lay ahead.
Rex's eyes fluttered closed, a flicker of what looked like pain crossing his features before he schooled his expression. He took a deep breath, his hand tightening around yours. "I understand," he said softly, his deep voice thick with emotion. "But I need you to know something first."
“That it’s over?” you quipped, voice cracking. Kriff. You swore you wouldn’t shed tears in front of him. He’d just want to try to fix something that neither of you had the power to change.
Rex's eyes softened. "No, cyar'ika. He sighed and you felt his hand squeeze yours gently. “That I love you." His voice was low, earnest, filled with an emotion that made your heart pound.
Your head snapped up to regard him as you processed his words. Love? That ember for him that you'd been so carefully guarding, afraid to even name, was suddenly thrust out in the open. Your eyes searched his face, looking for any hint of hesitation or doubt, but you found only sincerity and a rare flicker of fear in his gaze.
"I know our situation is… complicated, but how I feel about you isn’t."
"Rex, I..." you started, your voice barely above a whisper. The words you'd been holding back for so long threatened to spill out all at once. "Stars, we've kriffed up," you burst into a fit of watery laughter, your deep anxiety finally bubbling over now that he'd confessed what you'd been so afraid to.
Rex chuckled softly, and you loved how the sound rumbled deep within his chest, how his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Maybe just a little," he admitted, bringing your hand to his lips. Ever the gentleman. "But I wouldn't change anything." His eyes slid over to yours, vulnerability and hope shining in them. "So, what now?"
“I wish I knew…” you wiped at your damp cheeks with your free hand.
A sly look crossed his features, “Well…usually when someone tells you they love you…”
“You usually say it back," you replied, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the tears still glistening in your eyes. Your heart raced as you took a deep breath, gathering your resolve.
“Ner cyare…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his face. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum…”
Rex's eyes widened, a mix of surprise and joy flickering across his face as he recognized the Mando'a phrase tumbling from your lips. His grip on you tightened, and he pulled you closer to press his forehead against yours. His voice a low rumble as he responded, "Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyar'ika."
Lost in the warmth of him, the weight of your shared confession settled over you like a comforting blanket. This moment eclipsed all your previous encounters in this room. Even if just for a moment, you glimpsed a future where you could truly cherish every precious moment with Rex, even knowing how short your time together might be.
"May I kiss you now, meshla?" Rex murmured, his eyes flickering to your lips.
“Please…” you breathed.
His lips met yours with a tenderness that made your heart ache, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head as if you were something precious. The kiss was slow, sweet, and filled with all the still unspoken words you’d both been harboring. When you finally parted, Rex rested his forehead against yours, his thumb brushing away the remnants of tears on your cheek.
“Be mine,” he whispered against your lips. “Ner cyare…”
You smiled against his lips, your heart overflowing with love and hope despite the uncertainty that lay ahead. "I've always been yours," you whispered back, sealing your words with another tender kiss. The galaxy might be at war, but in this moment, wrapped in Rex's arms, you found your home.
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Tentatively maybe returning tomorrow, maybe... friday? Depends on vibes and what me and Sera are doing.
There is going to be a rule change for my own comfort. This sounds ominous and for all I know it is but I don't have the energy to really write it out eloquently so I'm just going to ramble in tags for now.
#ooc ; out of character#[[ tl;dr i am v uncomfortable writing with people when i see them just... jumping at every joshua they see ]]#[[ it gives the vibe that they do not care about me/my own portrayal and just want to play pokemon w/ joshuas ]]#[[ and that's fine we can still write but i probably won't invest too much if it feels like i'm one of a multitude ]]#[[ which sounds like it flies in the face of being 'duplicate friendly' but i'm not talking like 'oh you write with two joshuas' ]]#[[ i mean 'oh you're writing with ten of them' ]]#[[ you know the person that sees a joshua blog and immediately is pouncing on them rabid for interaction ]]#[[ i love dups i want to do more with my lovely joshua moots ]]#[[ i just like don't want to write or ship when it feels like it genuinely does not matter what joshua someone is writing with ]]#[[ as long as it's a joshua ]]#[[ do you feel? vibe? maybe i am insane but it is a Vibe ]]#[[ i'm very sorry if you read this and you go 'wait that describes me' ]]#[[ i mean no offense to you b/cuz this is ultimately my own mental health i gotta take care of ]]#[[ you all should keep doing what you're doing if you're having fun! ]]#[[ and i don't intend on dropping threads more just probably trying to pull back which i should be doing in general anyways ]]#[[ tumblr is terrible for your mental health ]]#[[ tl;dr benji hurt her own feefees and is doing stuff to make herself happy ]]
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YOU GET POTATO CANNON GOODBYE!!!!!
#sekwar's art#artists on tumblr#ena#ena joel g#ena shepherd#temptation stairway#that's it! i'm done!#if you're reading this then this is my last art post here!#i know so many changes are happening to my account but something finally clicked and i decided i don't want to be here anymore!#soooo yeah this is my last drawing on here#it's time to move on from this corporate sludge and onto something really fun and really weird#i'm jumping ship#i'm not waiting until its dying day anymore i think tumblr has really fucked itself over and i can't take it#even with dashboard unfucker the damage has been done#then someone told me about cohost and it looked interesting#and now i'm making an account there. i should've done this months ago. i'm not having fun here anymore and i'm so happy to be moving on#i'll be making a post soon on where else you can find me after#so yeah. i'm gonna miss you all. this is for the best though.#good luck with all of your future endeavours guys#sekwar... OUT.
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ugly maths.
i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.
thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!
you... wanna see?
okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!
ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!
huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—
better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—
mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?
here, i can make it worse.
these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.
now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.
why ugly?
because it makes me ugly.
those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.
87, 75.
the thoughts are as follows:
• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.
• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.
• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!
okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:
that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.
4, 708.
ugly maths.
the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!
27.
mmmm.
6161, 1061.
5100.
87, 75.
12.
mmmm.
you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(
it made me :)
well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.
they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.
1.
have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?
i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.
oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.
ready?
838, 245.
(want a hint? the green numbers!)
838, 87. 245, 75.
9.6, 3.3.
ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!
the numbers make me ask new questions:
• why is it not good enough?
• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?
• is all this maths this really good for you?
no, it isn't.
i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.
ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.
ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.
i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.
#helia rants#cw vent#i'm okay but i'm not#this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks#it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here#i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read#bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths#and in turn starting to feel uglier too#i don't like looking at the numbers#i was doing well at the start of the year#but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote#i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense#the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too#i hate that this is what i've become#because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them#but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers#and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer#and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff#this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret#this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no#it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)
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here is what I'm currently working on 🥹🥰 "Drawing my fav Samurai Warrior characters as chibis"
look at them!!! they are coming out adorable 🤗😭. im honestly having so much fun drawing them. idk who to draw next yet? lol 😙 well see later.
《its def a struggle to make them look descent 😩. dw I'm taking it slow so I won't stress myself out and ruin my mood.》
#my art#artists on tumblr#samurai warriors#Magoichi Saika#Ginchiyo Tachibana#Mitsunari Ishida#Kunoichi#chibi art#I'm so happy I got my drawing spirits up again 🤧🥹❤️#it's not just my favs I'm going to draw. I'm also drawing my sisters favs!#I just wanted to show you guys what I was working on ^^#if you read all the way to this point! thank u 🥹 you're amazing! and i hope you have an amazing day or night ♡
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years pass and i still disagree with what saw did with amanda. she would not fucking do that
#listen she wanted to be john's number one so bad she would never rig traps in such an oblivious way#she was the og survivor!!!! she would understand the whole cherish your life thing like no one else#she took care of john when he was physically at his worst come onnnnn she would kill herself to make him happy#creating really hard traps? sure. i can see that. making traps unwinnable in a not subtle way? she's smarter than that.#also hoffman literally made a fake trap to kill a guy (which i understand) before he met john in my eyes he's more likely to fuck with trap#i'm a bit drunk rewatching saw iii so if it doesn't make sense - it does to me. you're reading my diary. it's fine#amanda young you'll always be famous#sawposting#also that's probably the post you'll expect from tumblr user bpdamandayoung
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#this is actually a good me yelling in the tags#today is a very good day actually#maybe too good lol#i actually slept through the night#this is the most rested I've been in months probably#and unironically i got so much serotonin watching Hyunjin's vlog#my convenor is letting me submit my essay by friday and i almost cried#he's such a great dude tbh#h if you're reading this you're a king#and now I'm actually eating something#so yeah today is a very good#i know i joked about being suspicious but I'm really cherishing these when they do happen#probably going to do a significant amount of writing today and finally start watching shows and anime again#i really do need to start engaging in stuff that makes me happy again#and media outside of YouTube and tumblr is one of those things#also read some fics because i haven't gone through my bookmarks in a bit#but yeah today is a good day#rj talks
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Welcome to Prompt Roulette By Title! Or Bingo! Or B L A M E, whatever you fancy!
In light of the new year, me and the editor @moobloom-mention this one this is the person to blame have created a way to torture each other via the wonderful game of Bingo.
My esteemed colleague and I sent the other 24 different titles although they cheated and made me make 12 of theirs and have created prompts for each one for the other to use. And every other week, we roll to see which title is landed on in order to send over the prompt.
Now, we haven’t agreed to this yet, but the first one to get Bingo gets to decide the plot of a story to collaborate on no one tattle on me we only let them know if I get it first.
But that’s the plan for the year! I’m excited, as well as terrified of what they’ve managed to come up with. The best part though, neither of us are safe.
#The one#The only#The Editor#they're to blame for EVERYTHING#my love for FNAF and BATIM#not G/t they ask to not to have that credit ;)#and while I don't write it they got me hooked on DreamSMP#if you ever get the chance#go check out Moobloom's works#we're just about opposites of each other when it comes to writing#they enjoy a darker tone while my stories need happy endings#I adore G/t and they say no thank you#all those good things#so if your interest is peeked go read a story or two!#they're new to tumblr but they've got one story up!#with lots to follow!#but I'm excited#hope you're prepared Moobloom#Prompt Roulette By Title#BTE writing
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how do you decide what books to read?
oh! i have many devious methods. i get recs from friends/family/mutuals, i plough through the entire works of authors who have written one book i've liked, i check rec lists e.g. on library websites or goodreads, and awards lists e.g. the man booker prize, but my fave way is to go and browse in a bookstore for 7 hours, scope out the books i'd like to read, write them down, then go home and borrow them from my local library (for free!!! support your local libraries kids!!!!) and THEN only if they're great will i keep a lookout for them in second hand stores and eventually get myself a copy
#my friends and i do 'author sweeps'#which is where you like an author so much that you're like ok. i am going to read everything they've ever written#i currently have about 20 authors on my sweeps list :))) and i've read almost everything for all of them this year :)))#but man i cannot recommend more utilising your local library#for books AND audiobooks bro i have not paid for a book that i haven't already known i love in advance in YEARS#try it out for free first!!!! this method is foolproof!!!!#and then i love to buy secondhand like my brother in christ i'm not spending 40 bucks on one god damn book#i have so many secondhand book pipelines lmao i'm like a dealer#the great thing about reading is the more you do it; the more you figure out what you do and don't like#and the easier it is for you AND other people to do the whole 'oh you liked that? you'll LOVE this' thing#even here on tumblr!! whenever i post a reading list and highlight the ones i like#i invariably get replies like oh i read that too and like it AND i liked this similar book!!#sharing the reading love :)#hope you find some fantastic books to read in the very near future my good bro!! happy holidays and have a lovely day#asks
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#it's nice to be back on tumblr#even though almost everyone i knew on here is gone#and i miss them#i'm happy to be somewhere i can connect with people about things we like#i spent way too much time on other social media pretending to be a normal adult#it's more fun being a fan#and i've had a lot of fun in the last couple weeks beginning to make some new friends on here#so. much love to you if you're reading this
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imagine being so insensitive
#i came to tumblr and saw i had an ask#i got kinda happy bc i thought sent me a reassuring message like “wow someone cares.”#“someone who doesn't know me stopped by to comfort me on my loss”#AND THE MESSAGE WAS SOMEONE ASKING FOR MONEY#WOW. HUMANITY IS AMAZING.#i'm sorry you need money and i hope you get it. BUT SOMEONE I LOVE JUST DIED.#HOW DARE YOU MESSAGE ME ON A DAY LIKE THIS???#this is so insensitive fr. i'm having one of the worst day of my life and then you give me hope making me think#someone in this shitty world cared about my fucking stupid pain but NO#no one cares. people only come for me when they want smth from me#or they want me to comfort them or they want money#fuck everybody i hate everybody#edit: also. if you're reading this. DON'T send me a message. i won't believe you care.#i will think you're sending me bc you read this and you're pitying me.
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