#Trying to start Easter discourse

[goodbyeyellowbrickcloset]

From Swiftie to Gaylor: Why I’m Writing This Blog

For as long as I can remember, Taylor Swift’s music has been my constant. Since 2008, she has been my favorite female artist, a defining voice in my life as I grew up. Through every era, every genre shift, every reinvention, and every controversy, my admiration never wavered. Taylor Swift and her art have, dare I say, been the most consistent thing in my life since I was 12 years old.

But as time passed, something changed. Not my love for her music—if anything, that deepened—but the way I understood her storytelling. The media painted Taylor in countless ways: America’s sweetheart, the perpetual victim, the cunning businesswoman, the girl who dated too much, the girl who couldn’t sing, the girl who annoyed people just by existing. I sat through the ridicule, the scrutiny of her body, her voice, her words, and her relationships—always knowing that there was more to her than what the world wanted to see.

Her music, no matter how the press tried to twist her image, remained a deeply personal, poetic, and revealing archive of her life. But was it telling the full story?

The Turning Point: When Gaylor Clicked

For most of my time in the fandom, I took Taylor’s narratives at face value. Boys, relationships, heartbreak, self-discovery. I could always feel something deeper—something more layered—but I never had the language to fully process it. That all changed in 2019.

It was the day ME! was released. I was in architecture grad school, caught up in the excitement of a new era, when something clicked. Wait a minute… is she trying to tell us something?

Unlike most people who found ME! silly or confusing, I was immediately intrigued. The vibrant color palette, the overt queerness of the imagery, the suspiciously timed release on Lesbian Visibility Day—it was too obvious to ignore. At the time, I didn’t know what the "Gaylor" theory even was, but the notion that Taylor could be queer just made sense.

I started asking my friends, "Do you think Taylor Swift is coming out?" The responses were either deeply disturbed by the idea or completely uninterested. I didn’t push it, but I knew something was there. As the Lover rollout continued, everything screamed ‘she’s coming out’—but she never did. Instead, I watched as that potential narrative was brushed aside, ignored, or aggressively dismissed.

Finding the Gaylor Community

2020 changed everything. In lockdown, I had more time than ever to explore the corners of the internet that I had never fully gone down before. Some were terrifying, but one stood out as something different—the Gaylor community.

I stumbled upon the Whatiwillsay podcast and suddenly felt like I wasn’t alone. Here was a group of insanely intelligent, detail-oriented, and open-minded people who saw what I saw—who had been seeing it for years. Through their work, I started piecing together a narrative that had always been there, hidden in plain sight.

The deeper I went, the clearer it became:

Taylor Swift’s storytelling is deeply queer-coded.

The public narrative of her relationships has always felt… curated.

Hollywood and the music industry create impossible constraints for queer artists.

I realized that, like many queer people throughout history, Taylor may have been telling her story in code. Suddenly, the Easter eggs, the secret messages, the obsession with colors and symbols—it all made sense.

And it wasn’t just a theory. It was a lens through which everything became richer, more layered, and more meaningful.

Why This Blog?

Over the past few years, I’ve been obsessively researching, analyzing, and recording my thoughts on Taylor’s music and career through the Gaylor perspective. I’ve watched as creators on TikTok—people like planntika, Jordyn, Mia, and Lexa—have taken this discourse to new levels, making the connections clearer and more accessible than ever. I’ve studied Taylor’s work through this lens for more hours than I can count—probably second only to my actual career in architecture.

And now, I want to finally put my thoughts into words.

This blog is not about proving anything. Taylor Swift’s personal life is her own. But what I am here to do is explore:

The art she creates and the narratives she weaves.

The deeper meanings hidden in her lyrics, performances, and aesthetics.

The ways queer people have always had to ‘read between the lines’ in mainstream culture.

Why I believe her relationship with Karlie Kloss was more than just friendship—and why Karlie is her true muse.

Why I think she remains closeted today and how she ended up in this position in the first place.

The Journey Ahead

I’ve been a diehard Swiftie since 2008. I’ve loved her music unconditionally, celebrated her highs, defended her lows, and analyzed every Easter egg she’s ever planted. And now, after years of recording ideas and observations, I’m finally ready to share them.

The Gaylor perspective isn’t just a theory. It’s a way of seeing Taylor’s work as something deeper, something more complex, something that, for so many fans—including myself—has made us feel seen in ways mainstream culture rarely allows.

So, welcome to my blog. Whether you’re a longtime Gaylor, a curious skeptic, or someone just beginning to explore this world, I hope you find something here that makes you think.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Taylor Swift, it’s that there’s always more to the story.

[couldawouldashoulda50]

From Completely Different Worlds - William Nylander

The Sweden Chapter - Part One

A/N - This is a continuation of the above mentioned series between William Nylander and Loren Girard. Link for the all previous chapters are here.

it is also an early birthday submission for my dear @misshoneyimhome in advance of her actual birthday in October. Since she has been a such a big part of this William x Loren journey, I wanted to dedicate these final parts to wrap up this story (for now at least) to her. I just hope I can get Part Two done in time 😉💕

As ever, thank you for taking the time to read, like, send in comments and asks. It's beyond encouraging and is very much appreciated. I hope you like these final parts.

Warnings/Notes - this goes along the lines of the Leafs, and William himself stating he suffered from migraines at the start of the playoffs. Additional warnings based on symptoms (severe headaches, nausea, vision impairment), profanity, allusions to sex/smut

Word Count 8.6k (sorry) 18+ only please.

Recap - In March of 2024, after meeting at the Easter Seals Skate charity event in Toronto, a bittersweet romance unfolded between hockey superstar William and personal support worker Loren. Their chemistry was undeniable, and they quickly fell for each other, creating a whirlwind between them that felt so incredibly right.

For Loren, each encounter with William felt like it might be her last with the hockey star. She approached their time together with a mix of excitement and caution, trying to balance a level of detachment. She knew his star was too big, too bright for a small-town girl working two jobs to pay the bills. Yet, she couldn't help but fully embrace the amazing person he proved to be.

As the NHL season progressed, William's performance on the ice—which had already been declining—became increasingly noticeable. The mounting pressure left him at a crossroads. Under intense scrutiny from both himself and the media, William made the difficult decision to limit distractions and focus solely on his game.

William and Loren parted ways with heavy hearts. Despite her attempts to remain detached from William's magnetism, the breakup deeply affected Loren, leaving her full of sadness. William, though seemingly despondent while delivering his decision to Loren, maintained a cool demeanor afterward, as if nothing outside the arena bothered him. Despite his scoring slump in the final stretch of games, William had already surpassed his career-best point total by a double-digit margin. He finished just two points shy of 100—an impressive season for him overall.

And so it went, the Toronto Maple Leafs would be facing the Boston Bruins in Round One of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The city seemed nervous but hopeful the team would be able to trounce the Bruins and make it to the second round of the playoffs for the second year in a row.

April, 2024.

As the season drew to a close, Loren couldn't bring herself to watch the Maple Leafs' final games when she turned them on for Gary during her shift at the group home. The team struggled against their remaining opponents and William’s lack-luster performances added even more discourse, leaving everyone seemingly wondering what had gone wrong in the end.

As always in Toronto, playoff season evoked either excitement about the possibility of winning more than two rounds or dread, as if the team were already doomed to failure.

Just before the playoffs began, Toronto media reported that William, citing an undisclosed issue, didn't skate with the team for their final practice held in Boston. His absence sparked speculation and worry among fans and sports analysts alike. The concern was particularly intense given that William did not seem to be playing through an injury and hadn't missed a single regular season game in years.

The timing of William's mysterious absence, coupled with his recent poor performance, fueled rumors about his physical state. Some speculated about a possible injury, while others wondered if the coach, Sheldon Keefe, was so livid about William’s poor performance in game 82 that Keefe was possibly benching him for Game One of the playoffs.

The speculation intensified when William was notably absent from the team's morning skate on the day of the crucial playoff opener. Fans and media alike were left wondering about the true nature of his situation, with theories ranging from a hidden injury to illness. The uncertainty surrounding William's status added an extra layer of tension to an already high-stakes game, leaving everyone questioning how the team would fare without one of its star players.

As the playoff game approached, the uncertainty surrounding William's status cast a shadow over the team's abilities to compete against their rival. The lack of transparency from the Maple Leafs organization only served to intensify the speculation, leaving everyone to wonder about the true nature of William's absence and its potential impact on the team's playoff performance.

As the media cries of “Where’s Willy” saturated every sports channel, Loren tried - and failed - to not get sucked into all of the inflammatory opinions that somehow showed up in some of her social media feeds. She tried to stay off of her phone altogether but with her new self-employment venture hitting the ground running, the use of her cell phone was a necessary evil.

As she scrolled through her notifications, a headline caught her eye: "William Nylander's Mysterious Absence: Injury or Something More?"

It certainly got her rattled.

Despite her best efforts to move on, she couldn't help but worry about William. The thought of him potentially being injured or facing some other issue made her realize that, despite everything, she still cared deeply for him.

She quickly reminded herself “not your sink, not your dishes” and resumed getting Gary ready to take him for a stroll in his wheelchair.

But sometimes, the nagging worry about what was going on with William got the better of Loren. She couldn’t stop her mind from thinking about why he appeared to be MIA at that moment. Even if she wanted to forget about it, she couldn’t because every Toronto media outlet that was in her feed was talking incessantly about it.

Later that evening as she slid into her bed, the “Where the F*ck is William Nylander” headline appeared on a reel for a popular hockey podcast that Loren occasionally listened to. The two ex-hockey players further fueled rumours surrounding William’s absence with saying he may have hurt his back in the “champagne room” of a Miami strip-club while celebrating the end of the season.

Loren’s heart dropped and shattered as she visualized William plowing a beautiful and stacked bombshell in the back room of a Florida strip bar. It was one possibility out of many, and Loren had to accept that.

Maybe it would have been better to have never met William in the first place.

Loren tossed and turned in her bed, unable to shake the intrusive thoughts about William. She knew she shouldn't care, that their relationship was over, but her heart refused to listen to reason. As she stared at the ceiling, she was completely consumed by regret and self-doubt.

The bitch of the situation was she still cared about what was going on with him. It was so out of character for him to miss a game, let alone the all-important Game One of the playoffs, and that fact gnawed at her conscience.

"Fuck's sake…" Loren muttered aloud.

With severe trepidation, she reached for her phone, her fingers hovering over William's contact information.

Loren typed a short message, apologizing for texting him, let alone sending it in the middle of the night. She simply wanted to know if he was going to be okay.

As she hit send, a wave of anxiety washed over her. She placed her phone face down on the nightstand, trying to calm the ache that had settled into her stomach, as she played the whole "will he/won't he" game in her head.

Loren lay there, cheeks blazing, mind racing and becoming more agitated with herself for being so fucking foolish with getting tied up with William. Why the fuck did she still care?

That question plagued her endlessly.

And she came back to the same conclusion. That's just simply who she is and what she does. She cares about people.

Just because William was more or less a memory at this point, she still needed to hear that everything would be okay with him—and hopefully soon.

Eventually, somehow, something in her musings lulled her to sleep.

The next morning, Loren awoke feeling tired and unsettled. She rolled onto her side and stared into the emptiness of her bed and throughout her bedroom. The quietness in her home, which she normally loved, bothered her this morning. She couldn't quite place why she felt so irritated—she had a much-needed day off with no pressing events on her calendar. She was caught up with errands and bill payments. She slept well, once she fell asleep that is. She had nothing in front of her that day to warrant her crusty mood.

Then it all came flooding back in her mind. Thoughts of William possibly blowing out his back after being serviced at a strip club. His poor performance. His absence. The fact that he still had never left her brain since they met, hung out, and broke up—with everything in between those moments still lingering too. She then remembered the text message she sent him.

Oh fuck… the text message….shit…..

Loren coached herself in her head. Okay, Loren. Just be prepared. Please be prepared that he may have blocked you. He may never respond. Please. Do not spiral if there’s no response.

She swiped her phone open. The text message icon appeared, indicating multiple messages received. They all had William's name attached to them, with the first messages being sent not long after she had fallen asleep.

Anxiously, she read each one. She had to read the messages multiple times as her sudden increase in blood pressure made her head ache and her eyes blur.

His messages were sent with a small period of time between each one.

He told her how glad he was that she reached out.

He told her he was okay but he had some “medical issues” going on

Then he told her not to worry.

Loren slowly laid back down resting her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. She laid her phone, screen side down once again next to her on the bed.

Placing her hand over her heart that was galloping, she tried to get a hold of every thought running wild in her head. Images that were a mix of intimate moments spent together and then the low moments that came when he left that fateful morning with his sweet dogs happily in tow.

Her phone buzzed and chimed which made her stomach lurch. It’s not that she thought it was William, or even hoped it was him. It was the fact that she was already overwhelmed with an influx of unsolicited emotions, and it was barely 8am.

Loren hesitated for a moment before picking up her phone again. She knew she should check it, but part of her wanted to stay in this bubble of uncertainty just a little longer. Taking a deep breath, she flipped the phone over and glanced at the screen.

It was another message from William. Her heart raced as she read his words: "Can I call you?"

Loren stared at the screen. More dots bounced as William continued to type. She set her phone back down, and pressed her hands against her face. She really did not like that William could send her reeling like this.

For fuck sakes Loren….this is bullshit. He’s just a fucking hockey player. He’s not a God…stop acting like he is.

Her internal reprimand gave her enough piss and vinegar to remind her that she’s got a fucking backbone.

She slowly typed that he could call, her thumb hovered over the “send’ button for an extended period of time. She hit the button before she could talk herself out of it.

Within seconds, her phone began to ring.

Loren sat up in bed with her legs crossed, straightened her back, took a deep breath and tapped to accept the call from William.

"Hey," William's voice came through, soft and hesitant. There was a brief pause before he continued, "I'm sorry for calling so early. I sorta saw that you read my messages so….yeah. How are you?”

Loren's breath caught in her throat, her initial resolve already beginning to falter.

“Good, William. I’m good. I’m sorry to hear about - …if - that you’re not doing well,” Loren’s words stumbled a little as she spoke. She could feel heat blotching her neck and her cheeks were blazing red.

“Yeah - it’s not great. I can’t really talk about it much right now but I’ll be ok.”

“I’m glad, William. Hoping you’ll be cleared soon…give Pasta a little run for his money.”

William chuckled at Loren referencing his good friend and fellow number 88 for the Bruins, David Pastrňák.

“That’s my plan.”

There was a hesitation at William’s end but despite her desire to avoid awkward pauses, she simply waited for him to speak.

“So, I was wondering if I could ask a big….I mean - a huge favour, really. I know I’m probably the last person you would want to help but I’m really hoping you can.”

“That’s not true. If I can, I’d be happy to help you out.”

The warmth in Loren’s response made William’s heart crack.

“So, the stuff I’m going through sort of prevents me from getting around on my own sometimes. I’m in Boston right now so I’ve got the medical staff nearby but I think I might need help when I get back to Toronto. There’s kind of a lot of stuff going on right now and I need someone close to me that I can trust and keep everything private.”

If they were on a video call, William would have immediately seen Loren's confused expression.

“…..okay….so - what exactly can I do to help…?” Loren asked cautiously. She had no idea where this was going.

“The thing is part of what’s happening involves - what can I call it…”

Loren thought about what he might mean. “Like do you need….personal care?”

“Yeah….exactly. I know that sounds kind of, I don’t know…like something else. The thing is, part of what happens when I have migraines…I tend to….well, like nothing stays down….”

“Vomit…?” Loren clarified.

“Pretty much, yeah. I just need some help getting through the next 4 or 5 days maybe? I know how bad it probably sounds with me asking you this. I mean….I’ve wanted to talk to you anyway but -”

“I get it…” Loren wasn’t sure if she wanted to sound curt or not, but she didn’t want to hear that “he’s been meaning to call.”

Loren rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “Hmmm…let me see what I can do. When do you get back?”

“Tonight. There’s kind of a lot to explain -,” William paused for a moment, unsure how to broach the next subject. “There’s going to be a camera crew around me at some point this week as well. Fucking shitty timing.”

Loren just shook her head. This was all too strange.

Loren chuckled. “Jesus William, I’m not even going to ask…but I swear this shit can only happen to you.”

This is exactly why William often missed Loren. She could poke fun at life a little and ease some of the tension. That’s what he needed right now.

She heard his hallmark giggle softly through the phone before adding “Fuck - tell me about it.”

“Well, okay….I can’t say yes right at the moment. I’ll see if I can juggle some stuff around. I’ll message you back when I know more.”

“Or…you can call. I’d like the company - if you can….things have been really fucking shit lately.”

She rolled her eyes mockingly but then felt bad. “I can imagine,” she said, sounding as sympathetic and supportive as she could.

There was a pause - so Loren decided to wrap the conversation up. “Alright then, I’ll be in touch one way or the other once I know more. Take it easy William - ok?”

“Wait - Loren….look, I’m s - I’m really sorry.” William’s hesitation between his words and his low tone softened Loren a little more.

“William - you’ve not done anything wrong. There’s no need for an apology…. not in my mind anyway.”

“Yeah, but I am sorry for the way things turned out. Bad timing I guess.”

Loren wasn’t sure she believed in bad timing. Despite how she felt for him, she had faith that things happen in life the way they’re supposed to. Bad timing had nothing to do with it.

“Well, then…I’m sorry too William.” Loren paused again and then tried to sound upbeat. “Okay, let me get going on this and I’ll let you know how it goes.”

“Hey - uh, thanks Loren. I really appreciate it….for sure, talk to you soon. Call, okay?”

Loren mumbled a half-assed acknowledgement before ending the call. Hanging her head, and then looking up at the ceiling, all she could mutter was “what the fuck - really?”

She flopped back on the bed. Her head was hurting and her stomach was a mess.

Her phone buzzed and chimed once more. Loren’s irritation was beginning to simmer.

Swear to God - if this is William again….I’m going to fucking scream….

It was William. He sent a picture he took of Loren, Pablo and Banksy on his couch that was taken weeks ago. She remembered that moment when the dogs were vying for her attention but never knew William had witnessed it, let alone taken a photo.

His caption read “I meant to send this to you awhile ago. Really great picture. Hoping you can come visit. The boys would be happy to see you.”

Seeing the still shot of a memory which William kept for whatever reason, helped soften her mood.

Hopping into the shower, she visualized her calendar for the next week, making mental moves in her head like a chess game. She had no idea why she was even doing this other than the simple fact she liked to help people in need, first and foremost.

Within the hour, schedules and plans had been altered, financing for the missed hours from work was accounted for, and she placed the call to William, asking him when he'd like her to come.

"Tonight, if possible?" was William's response. "I haven't been feeling that great today and this stuff might hit me harder when I get home," he added for clarification.

Loren was apprehensive, but she agreed to stay.

Later that day, after William confirmed he was en-route to the airport in Boston, he asked if she could start venturing down to his place.

It seemed that "fuck me" was her mantra that day. Loren repeated her mantra again and again for the entire drive down to Yorkville.

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

William had already secured Loren parking in the visitors section at his building. Pulling into a well-lit spot, she hurriedly grabbed her bags from the trunk. Despite the level of security the underground garage had, she was still a little nervous being in a parking garage at night by herself.

Loren rode the elevator to the main lobby and approached the security desk to advise which tenant she was visiting and the make and model of her vehicle. Having seen her previously, one of officers, by the name of Warren, advised that William had requested that she be escorted and given entry to his place prior to his arrival. There had been a fog delay at Boston’s Logan Airport and William’s arrival was far behind schedule.

Warren smiled warmly at Loren as he handed her the key fob for William's unit and the two chatted amicably during the elevator ride to William’s floor. "Mr. Nylander mentioned you might be staying for a few days. It’ll be nice to see another friendly face around here.”

When it came to William’s day to day goings on, the only other people that would know what he did and who he saw would be the security officers at his building.

Loren chuckled and smiled, but felt a twinge of unease wondering if the guard was secretly implying something. She wondered how much the security staff had witnessed of William's personal life and visitors. As she stepped out of the elevator, she pushed the thought aside, focusing instead on sounds of Pablo and Banksy slight whimpers at the door. Loren asked Warren what time the dogs’ caregiver would have dropped them off, trying to understand if they would be desperate for to go outside. Warren informed her that the dogs had been dropped off about an hour ago, so there shouldn’t be an urgent need. Loren had never taken the pups out by themselves, and she wanted to ask William before she went ahead anyway.

Loren thanked Warren for his help as she unlocked the door to William's condo.

As she stepped into the apartment, Pablo and Banksy greeted her with enthusiastic yips, both standing on their hind legs to accept Loren’s affectionate rubs. Loren knelt down to pet them cooing at their sweet faces and accepting their voracious wet kisses in return. It was so bewildering to be standing in William’s place without him there, and she felt a little out of sorts.

She scouted out where it would be best to sleep, talking softly to Pablo and Banksy as they followed her room to room. It was difficult not to feel something as she carefully padded through William’s space. Loren tried to breath deeply to calm her nerves, but instead, she would catch a scent that belonged to William, and her stomach would flip once more.

Her phone chimed which startled her. William messaged her that he would be home soon. The messages were just a few words that barely made a sentence and it had her wondering what kind shape his was in.

Loren sat in the dimly lit living room with the memories of their first meeting, their first meal, their first glass of wine.

Their first kiss.

That kiss is why there are love songs, poetry, and Hallmark greeting cards.

It was a small part of what made her insides hurt that things ended between them. The other part was simply him. William’s exterior was one thing, but what lived inside his head is what she missed the most. He was a little bit of everything. Quirky. Nerdy for sure. Intelligent in many things but undeniably clueless with others. His curiosity. If he was interested in a topic, the long list of questions he asked were thoughtful and thought-provoking.

She had not experienced being around a man like William before. But now that she had, at the very least, she has a better idea of what she’s truly looking for in the future.

With her body stretched out on the couch, and both dogs lying lengthwise on her, Loren eventually drifted off to sleep.

With the sound of voices approaching from the hallway, the dogs leapt off of Loren’s body and bolted towards the door.

As Loren stood up from the couch, there were two things she was not expecting when the door opened.

The first was Calle Järnkrok leading William inside while carrying his bags, and the second was William's alarming appearance. His typically bright blue eyes were bloodshot and sunken, with dark circles underneath.

Loren greeted the men softly, taking William's bags and placing them by the hallway. The look of concern on her face was very apparent, and Calle quickly explained that the combination of fog delays and the flight itself had triggered a severe migraine in William. With the shuffling from airport, to plane, to car, the pain in his head had reached excruciating levels. Along with feeling terribly nauseous, his vision was blurred and compromised.

Calle thanked Loren for being there and taking over. He quickly mentioned instructions in William’s bag for his home care requirements as he headed for the door. It hurt for William to speak but he managed to thank Calle, his voice low, gravelly and almost slurred.

Once Calle had left, Loren suggested she help him into bed. William didn’t object, but he before he moved, he grabbed Loren’s hand and pulled her into him.

The same despondency he showed on her doorstep weeks before could be felt in his embrace. Loren gently wrapped her arms around his broad frame, whispering that he should get into bed. As she began to reposition herself by his side, his grip around her waist was firm, and stopped her from moving as he pulled her even closer to him.

She felt his warm breath against her cheek as she stood motionless, unsure and caught off guard with the way he held her. He began to thank her, but instead he grit his teeth as a wave of throbbing pain traveled through one side of his head.

Loren gently coaxed him to walk slowly to his bedroom, her voice sounded both melodic and soothing as she guided him down the hallway.

Passing the guest bedroom, William saw Loren’s bags just inside the door.

Loren followed William’s gaze. Although nothing verbal was said, she sensed his dismay.

Entering his room and stopping at the foot of the bed, Loren stood in front of William, groaning inside her mind knowing that she might need to help him undress.

She instructed him to sit on the bench at the end of his bed, helping him lower himself down. She knelt down in front of him and began untying his shoes, removing them silently as William watched every move she made.

She looked up at him and smirked. “Don’t get any ideas…I’m just down here to take off your shoes.”

William only smiled. It hurt to laugh.

“It the pain still really bad? Can you see anything?”

“Vision’s coming back. Fucking head though…and my stomach.”

Loren gave him a sympathetic nod, saying she’d get him into bed in a second.

With minimal movements, she removed his hoodie and t-shirt underneath. His scent made her hungry to kiss every bit of bare skin that she just exposed.

Removing his sweatpants was worse. Way worse. She scolded herself mentally when she kept glancing towards his concealed dick. She hated the fact she still craved it as badly as she did. It was literally making her salivate.

She gently helped William into bed, leaning over him to adjust pillows supporting his head and neck. Once he was settled, she pulled the covers over him.

The light from the hallway provided just enough illumination to see William's face as he closed his eyes. Loren told him she would turn off all the lights once she got the cold gel compress she brought and a lined bucket to set next to his bed in case he needed it.

As she turned to exit the room, William's hand lightly clasped onto two of Loren's fingers. "I don't know many girls who would look after me like this. Thank you so much." His voice sounded dry and croaky, and Loren made a mental note to get him some fluids.

She looked at William for a moment before a faint smile spanned her face. "Well, then I guess you're Snapping the wrong girls… I bet I could find a thousand and one ladies in 30 minutes or less who would shank their own mother to be in my position right now. Could have them here faster than a Domino's pizza."

William smiled, but his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm trying to say thank you, y'know…"

"You're not supposed to be talking at all." Loren stroked his hand with her thumb, acknowledging in her own way that she appreciated him saying it, but it wasn't necessary. "I'll be back in a sec."

She pet the pooches that had already nestled between William's legs on top of the comforter and glided out of the room. William opened one eye enough just to glance at her backside as she left the room.

She quickly dissolved the electrolyte package that had been sent home in William's home care package from the medical staff on the team. She retrieved the gel compress mask from the refrigerator and a few other items. But as she entered the room, William was leaning over the edge of the bed, groaning that he was going to be sick. Loren quickly set everything aside and went to William's side just for some support. She leaned over next to him and quietly asked him if she should stay by his side. He nodded his head.

After his dry heaves had subsided, she helped him lay down, and sat next to him on the edge of the bed as he drifted off to sleep. Once she heard his breathing slow into a specific rhythm, she moved quietly about the room, disposing of the contents of the bucket and replacing the bag, setting the strong electrolyte mix next to him with a straw, and plugging in his phone.

It was around 4 a.m. when she had cleaned and tidied everything up and decided to head to bed. She turned off all the lights, closed the blinds, and ensured William's room was now completely shrouded in darkness. As she closed his door, he quietly called her name.

She stepped lightly to his bedside, and he asked if she would sleep there with him.

Loren was exhausted and knew he had the most comfortable bed imaginable. She quietly agreed, citing "just in case he's sick again" in her head as an additional excuse to stay.

She quickly got ready for bed. She wondered if she could get away with just sleeping on top of the comforter, but the condo was far too cold for her light pajama set.

She crawled in next to William, asked him if he was okay, and as he nodded, she wished him a good sleep.

He thanked her once again for everything she'd done. He thought to himself how amazing she had been to him so far, and he felt like he didn't deserve her kindness and care.

He moved his hand close to her bent leg under the covers. Just having her there next to him was good enough for tonight.

—

The following morning, Loren awoke to a dog barking. The sound came from nearby, not from the dogs that she felt were still nestled between William and her.

She looked around slowly, getting her bearings. She saw William’s bedroom door slightly open which let some light in from the main living space.

She didn’t want to shift and wake William up, who’s body seemed to a little closer to her than she remembered when she fell asleep.

Turns out, she needn’t worry.

A low "good morning" purred behind her. Before she could stifle it, a soft giggle escaped her lips as a smile spread across her face.

She turned her head slightly, catching a glimpse of William's face. His eyes still looked heavy and tired, and his five o’clock shadow had added 6, 7, and 8 o’clock to it too. A soft grin teased his lips as he looked at Loren while laying on his side.

This was not faring well for Loren as part of the getting over William Nylander program that she was on.

She shifted onto her side, pulling up the blankets to cover her boobs that appeared much more voluptuous in this position bunched in her tank top.

God, he is so fucking beautiful Loren thought.

Fuuuuck me….look at her William thought.

Loren peeled her gaze off of William and onto the dogs - Banksy had flipped onto his back while Pablo looked unimpressed and pouted at the end of the bed.

She motioned for Pablo to come up towards her, which he did. Licking her face, she quietly told him how smart of a boy he was.

Hers eyes met William’s again, behind his glasses this time, and she asked him how he was feeling.

“Much, much better. My eye sight seems to be pretty normal…. have a little headache but nothing like last night.”

“Good, I’m so glad - I can’t imagine that pain.”

"Fuck—yeah, the headache was really starting to build in the plane, so I just leaned my seat back and closed my eyes. When we were landing, that's when it hit badly—I couldn't see out of my one eye."

He then backtracked to the point where his recent headaches had begun.

"Pretty much right after I left your place, I could feel one side of my head starting to ache," William confessed.

Loren looked perplexed. "It started right after you left?"

William looked at Pablo and began scratching him under his collar. Pablo's hind leg began to thump as he scratched himself in sync with William's fingers.

"I was thinking about it all the way home. It wasn't your fault that my scoring fell off a cliff. I'm pretty sure I made you feel like you were the problem. Y'know… with the whole distraction thing."

Loren's eyes remained cast downward as she lightly stroked the tufts of fur on Pablo's back. "I don't really remember anything, other than feeling — I know it sounds juvenile maybe but — feeling just really sad. I think you're a pretty good guy… I knew I was going to miss hanging out with you." Loren's cheeks flushed with her admission.

"Wait — just pretty good? Not a great or awesome guy… I only get a pretty good?" William teased.

"Never got the chance to fully find out before you ditched me," Loren deadpanned, followed with a little snicker.

William hung his head in defeat. "Ok — yeah… take it easy… I'm not well…," he smiled.

Loren mockingly whispered at Pablo as he craned his head around to sniff her face. "You hear that Pablo — your Dad can dish it out but he can't take it…"

Pablo wagged his tail at Loren as she scratched under his ears, telling him how great and awesome he was.

She heard William giggle and scoff at her.

William grabbed his phone from the nightstand, unplugging it as he adjusted his body in bed. "I'm guessing you plugged in my phone — thanks for doing that. I actually don't know if I remember much, other than you being here when Calle walked me up."

"You were in pretty rough shape… it was not at all prepared to see you like that actually."

William scrolled through the gazillion messages, finally selecting one to read through. He turned to Loren, adjusting his glasses as he glanced back at his phone. "So seriously, how long do I have you for? Think you can drive me to the arena today? They want to do another check-up."

Loren smiled and turned onto her back, stretching her arms over her head while yawning. "That's what I'm here for… you definitely shouldn't be driving." She looked at William, eyes bright and wide. "You wanna take my car?" she asked, and then giggled. Her car was essentially a shit box and not nearly as nice as William's—for some reason, she was geared to egg him on a little today.

William shook his head and chuckled. "We'll take my car—your car....well, it does enough travelling." He thought for another moment. "You never answered my question… how long do I have you for? And don't change the subject…" he said light-heartedly.

"You said four or five days, so I took five. But I don't think you'll need me for that long… you already seem a million times better."

"Don't get upset at me for asking but… you ok with not getting paid for that long? We can figure out something to get you reimbursed—you just need to tell me."

"I'm okay. It'll be okay."

"Loren—seriously—please…"

"I promise… I got a little side business going....there's been a little extra money coming in lately. So, I'm good… but thank you. Truly… I appreciate the offer."

"What is it—the side business?"

Loren looked away sheepishly. "OnlyFans," she replied quietly.

William's head nearly swiveled off of his shoulders and his mouth dropped open.

Loren's face turned red. "What—you told me once that I should try it—that I would do well on there…"

"Fuck—I—really—I didn't… are you serious?"

Loren looked down at Pablo and then back toward William, before she grinned at his shocked expression. "No, I'm not serious. My side gig is tutoring French—conversational and otherwise."

William looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck… shocked the shit outta me. Ow—fuck…" William winced, squinting his eye and pressing his palm over top of it. "Thanks for the jolt, my headache is back."

Loren sat up. "Oh fuck… oh no—shit—really? I am really—I'm so sorry!" she said panicking. "You see why I never joke around much? My timing sucks…"

William laughed. "Ha—gotcha…"

◇◈◆◇◈◇◆◈

If there was a word that would describe the 2024 Leafs versus Boston series, it would be "dramatic."

Add in pre- and post-game media scrums, plus a camera crew following William at certain points during his illness, there was rarely a moment in his life that wasn't complicated.

What was unsurprising, but perhaps unexpected is how Loren naturally provided a buffer between William and his professional life. There was a sanctity with her presence in his home. She brought warmth, comfort, and offered unwavering and nonjudgmental support when he allowed himself to unload some of the thoughts that clogged his mind.

William discovered the friendship side of his relationship with Loren. She slept in his bed the first night, but stayed in the guest bedroom for the nights that followed. It's not what William had wanted, and if Loren was being honest, she still deeply desired William too. But, for that moment, she did what she felt was best for both of them and kept their reunion platonic.

However, after Game 4, where it seemed all but over for the Leafs — the game where William was caught on camera clapping back at his teammates — William arrived home in an abysmal mood.

Although he was quiet, Loren sensed he was like a pressure cooker ready to pop. The vein in his neck, the one she had once kissed while William gripped onto her from a powerful orgasm, jutted out under his skin. Loren treaded lightly, and gave him time to process how the game unfolded now that he was home.

It was when he grabbed his phone and saw how many notifications there were, on top of the millions he already had, that totally set him off. He whipped his phone at the adjacent plush chair, yelled expletives, shoved some furniture around and paced around the living room, letting every single thought he had — unfair or not — out into the universe.

Banksy curled onto Loren's lap but Pablo stood on the arm of the couch and watched William devotedly. Each time William passed Pablo, he would rub him or kiss his head, but he continued to unleash whatever he had pent up. There was a lot. Far more than Loren ever suspected.

She listened intently. If he asked her for her thoughts, she somehow balanced being supportive while remaining neutral.

One of many benefits of having an open concept kitchen and living room space is that one can still listen to a person vent and make them something to eat while not missing a beat. Which is exactly what Loren did as William let out all of his frustrated thoughts, then finally sat down at his kitchen island as he wound down.

With the sourdough bread that Loren bought the day before, she stood in William's kitchen making him a light meal of Croque Monsieur.

The day before, William and Loren had taken the dogs on a long walk to a bakery Loren was eager to visit. Though she'd offered to go alone, William insisted on joining her. The beautiful spring day began cool and crisp but quickly warmed as it progressed.

During Loren's stay, William had noticed a change in her demeanor. While still kind and caring, the wide-eyed excitement she'd once shown when they first met had dimmed. She now seemed guarded, as if holding back her emotions.

However, as they entered the bakery together, William watched Loren come alive. Her eyes lit up at the sights and smells surrounding them. She looked absolutely radiant—this was the Loren he remembered.

William watched her finish up at the stove, and she plated the French style sandwich and handed it to him. William's eyes widened at the sight of it -- the bread was toasted perfectly golden and the rich cheese slightly oozed onto the plate.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck…" William groaned.

Loren's back was turned as she washed the dishes. Hearing his groan, her first thought was that he saw something upsetting on his cellphone. She turned around with a concerned look, just to see William taking another massive bite of food.

His mouth was still partially full as he rolled his eyes at Loren. "This is so fucking good… like — fuck… oh my god."

William eyed the pan that she was just about to clean. "Wait — could you pretty please make me another one? Pretty please? I'll do whatever you want me to…" William said wryly, but there was a suggestive flavor to it too.

Loren blushed as her thoughts turned sinful.

Fucking guy, she laughed to herself, shaking her head.

After making another, in no time, he was already halfway through the second Croque Monsieur. Loren suddenly felt a grumble of hunger in her stomach. "Think I could have just the tiniest bite — if you can spare it…" she said with a little wink.

William had this look. It was a combination of pretty boy, frat boy, fuck boy, cocky boy and sweetheart rolled into one, and it made Loren weak.

He lifted the piece of bread up and motioned for her to go ahead and take a bite. It had unnerved her a little, with his eyebrow cocked and raised, but she was hungry now. There was a small window of opportunity to look as sexy as she could while sinking her teeth into the sandwich. If not sexy looking, she would at least try for not awkward.

She gently wrapped her hand around his which held the base up, and took a slow bite.

Goddammit — that is fucking good, she thought.

She swiped some crumbs from the side of her mouth while William watched how pretty she looked with her cheeks flushed.

"Wait — there's a bit of mustard still left."

She wasn't sure if there really was or not — she was too busy kissing William back. He had pulled her into him and mumbled something about "being so amazing", and began kissing her urgently.

They remained in a lip lock the entire way to William's bedroom.

There in the low light from his bedside lamp, they undressed each other, their hands worked in sync as pants were unfastened and clasps were undone. Their hands smoothed over each other's skin which filled them each with profound desire and admiration.

They both knew what they yearned for from each other, and neither was willing to try and fight it.

Still, Loren worried about William overexerting himself. She had experienced William's voracious sexual appetite before — it was a marvel to experience his level of cardio and stamina. Given he had just made his first appearance in the playoffs after his blinding migraines, she was not going to be the reason he missed out on the rest of the series.

He pulled her in tightly, her hands raked through his hair as he kissed and nipped her neck.

"I think it might be too much if you…" — Loren's voice trailed off into a moan as William's mouth made contact with her nipple — "…I think you should lie on your back… fuck William…" she groaned.

He was almost lifting her off the ground with the way he held and kissed her.

Loren smoothed his hair as he latched onto her nipple again. "William… please… your head… don't overdo anything… let me — here… lie on your back." He kissed back up her neck, stopping to look at her face.

The way she cared for him was extraordinary.

After he lied down for her, the way she worked his cock in her mouth was indescribable.

But the way she rode him until the muscles in his thighs quivered was otherworldly.

Once again, in the still bliss afterward, William's world felt calm as he lay with Loren sleeping next to him.

The next morning, William opened his eyes and saw the silhouette of Loren's side profile. Her eyelashes, her nose that turned up at the end. Fuck, that mouth of hers.

He could tell that she was awake as she lazily glided her hands through Pablo's fur.

"What are you thinking about?" William's low, morning croak made her smile while her gaze remained fixed on the ceiling.

"Just thinking about your next game. Maybe you should pull a Marchand and go up and lick Pasta on his face. Get him off his game."

William laughed, moving closer to kiss Loren's shoulder. He motioned for her to turn into his chest, knowing how much she loved it there. "Nah, Pasta might like it and try and kiss me back. I think I've been in the news enough lately anyway — don't need anything else for them to write about."

Loren kissed and nuzzled his chest. "I guess. It'd be something to see though."

It was quiet in the room, save for the drone of traffic from the streets below.

"I got a text from my manager at the home. The person covering for me dislocated his shoulder. They could really use me, and it seems like you're on the right track."

William knew at one point she would need to go back to her own life. It was a hard pill to swallow though, after all she had done for him. "Oh wow. Yeah, ok… I understand. Although… I'm feeling a little light-headed, dizzy… and my back's sore — and I've got a toe cramp…" William chuckled.

Loren smiled against his skin. "Oh — okay…well, in that case…" she purred, gliding her hand up his bare back, "you better tell Paul and the med staff when you go in for practice this morning." She giggled knowing that wasn't the response he was aiming for.

"Ooof — okay… was I that big of a pain in the ass?"

Loren reached up to kiss him along his jawline. "The biggest," she responded, her voice just above a whisper.

—

Loren had agreed to drive William to practice before she headed north to go home. The drive to the rink was understandably quiet as William thought about the aftereffects from the dumpster fire of Game 4 the night before. Added to that was the uncertainty of what the future held for the two of them.

As they inched along in traffic nearing the rink, William started to fidget a little, rubbing and scratching his beard as he often did while talking to reporters. Loren noticed it, but remained quiet. She was lost in her own thoughts anyway.

"Are you nervous?" Loren finally asked.

William's eyes seemed like a pale blue that morning as he looked toward Loren. They were still gorgeous she thought, but they were a little sullen. Tired.

"A little. Just don't know what the mood is going to be like in there. Cameras are going to be on me and Mitchy, I think." William leaned his head back on the headrest. "So, what happens next — you know… with this?"

Loren smiled and shook her head. "I wish I knew." William couldn't help but laugh at her expression — her bright smile, biting her lip and with a look of "fucked if I know."

Loren pulled into the entrance of the rink and into a parking spot. Looking to William, she continued her thought. "I guess for you, either you'll be going on to the next round, or you'll be packing up to go home for the offseason. Either way, I am excited for you, and I'm so glad you asked me to come help you."

William looked down and smiled. "You know I'm bad with words, but this time we just spent was really… amazing. The fact you even said that you'd help me after… after I… after things ended the way they did."

"William — stop saying it like you did something wrong a few weeks back. You did nothing wrong. You were faced with a decision and you made one."

"Yeah but it really fucking sucked. For both of us."

"Well, you still get to be you so… I guess it sucked more for me, but whatever… I won't argue," Loren laughed, nudging William.

William smiled and started to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Alright, I'll message you later," he said as he opened the car door and slid out of the seat. He came around to Loren's side, leaned through the open window and kissed her tenderly. He leaned his forehead against hers, and sighed. "Better go. Talk soon."

Loren grinned and nodded, giving him a wink and wished him luck.

As she drove away, she felt an unexpected feeling of peace. It was almost like closure somehow. She had no illusions about William. She had another quick glimpse into his world, and she was not sure - given the chance - if being a WAG is something she would want to entertain. But she truly was grateful to be there for William when he needed someone, and that he trusted her with his very private life.

All Loren knew is that she would return home, resume her life and let the chips fall where they may.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Team Sky Anon: Chiaki what's your thoughts on the Minecraft movie trailer? I'm personally excited for it

Alright, I knew people were going to ask me about this...Strap in boys and girls. I'm gonna try and make this brief, but fair warning, you might not like what I'm about to say.

I'm going to explain something VERY CAREFULLY before I give my take on this movie.

Because more often than not, I don't have heavy, or strong opinions on things, especially games. I enjoy games, regardless of how good or bad they are, and the same applies to movies or TV shows based on those games.

But when I DO have an opinion on something, and people ask for me to explain it, I try to remain 100% completely honest when I give my takes, regardless of the risk of getting backlash, or starting arguments. I just straight up avoid these sorts of conflicts, like I should, but I'm never afraid to state what I believe.

Because at the end of the day, it's my opinion, and if you disagree, that's totally fine, because it's just a game/movie. We're not talking about genuine politics here.

This time is no different, so all I can request is that you hear me out, because it's of my understanding that the internet absolutely despises this trailer, and...it's not like I don't understand why. It's just another case of Warner Bros being stupid and problematic.

But...when I watched the Minecraft movie trailer for the first time...I really, REALLY liked it...!

And that's basically my take in a nutshell. I don't think this trailer comes anywhere CLOSE to how amazing the trailer for Sonic 3 was, but I still think it was a great teaser.

I definitely have some concerns and questions, like why aren't the human's blocky, why do the greenscreen effects look so...off, and why does Jason Momoa look like he's trying to cosplay a Barbie Girl?

But this is just a TEASER trailer. This won't give us any of the answers we're looking for. The OFFICIAL trailer will.

But besides the point, let me just try my hardest to explain myself, and explain why it is I like this trailer.

So, right off the bat, the first thing I love is the world. Minecraft itself. Everything in here looks so detailed, and the production design is fantastic.

Another thing I like is also the cast. The main 5 actors that we see in the trailer are Jack Black as Steve, Jason Momoa as Garrett, Emma Myers as Natalie, Danielle Brooks as Dawn, and Sebastian Eugine Hanson as Henry.

Sebastian is relatively new to the acting scene, and I know people have their concerns about the way this cast is presented in the teaser, but as a reminder, it's very rare for Jack Black and Jason Momoa to phone in a bad performance, Emma Myers is incredibly famous for A Good Girls Guide to Murder and Wednesday, in both of which she's awesome, and Danielle Brooks is an actual Oscar Nominee.

All in all, I like this cast, and I think they're gonna give us a really fun show.

And the last thing I love, as a gamer, is the Minecraft easter eggs in the teaser. Such as breaking down a block and having it turn small, crafting stuff on a crafting table...

E-Even if that looks a little funky...

And the creatures too. People keep dissing the sheep online, but I'm sorry to break it to you, if a Minecraft sheep was real, THAT'S what it WOULD look like. And the Creeper too! The Creeper gave me a huge smile!

But again, the hate for this trailer is astounding, and again, I understand it. But also, at the same time, I think it's a little overblown. All of this discourse and for what? Because people don't want a live action movie cast in an uncanny valley world made of cubes? Because the mobs look "ugly?"

I understand that I probably just look pretty simple minded right now, and for the record, I would prefer an animated Minecraft movie, but let me make it clear that I don't hate this.

And I am more than open to talking about this movie, and people's opinions on it, but my biggest question is...what exactly was everyone expecting? I know people are mad, but we got basically exactly what we were promised from this trailer, and this is exactly what it would be like if humans entered the Minecraft world.

[anakinh]

Okay I finished LOVM and this is my coherent review.

I... hmm, I'm having a hard time staying objective since they changed so much and tbh I prefer the steam (mostly for Raishan), so I'm constantly thinking of things missed. Plus I know I tend to skew negative so here are my complaints and an equal number of compliments, starting with the negatives:

they made Ripley cooler, but they also gave her this sympathetic backstory of trying to make the world safer. The problem is that Percy's been gone half the season and his guns did less against dragons than Vax's magic knife, Vex's magic bow, and Keyleth's magic magic. In the end Ripley ends up looking like an idiot or a liar. Hell, even during her fight Cabal's Ruin did more to make her dangerous than her gun. Anyway it would've been cooler and more interesting to make Percy more effective or his guns more OP to actually reinforce her point.

So Keyleth had a whole realization(TM) that her strength comes from her companions and then she... 1v1ed Raishan and won? Without needing her companions? I mean I know she mentioned an anchor but damn, not even a flashback of Vax? Am I the media illiterate one? I think the mention of the anchor needed to harness disease is what took my reaction from "come on" to "i GUESS" but come on

God they did my girl Raishan so dirty

Honestly I didn't like Keyleth's arc here and I think it's probably fine, story wise, and it's mostly because I didn't like the tropes and also THEY DID MY GIRL RAISHAN SO DIRTY I seriously cannot separate Keyleth's arc and my salt at the Raishan thing there's no way I can enjoy it. sigh.

In the stream the Matron was fine with resurrections if they were taken before their time and the Percy situation is the perfect example of it (sucked into a demon gun!) Why'd they go for the C3 gods bad discourse? I'm so sick of this goddamn discourse they could've AVOIDED IT

Okay, positives:

oh my god Laura Fucking Bailey. I love Vex so much. Laura Fucking Bailey you did it again and you never fail to impress why are you so good at voice acting I love Vex/Percy so fucking much asjkfjsdkfjkjs

The Anna Ripley backstory (and Trent cameo) is great. She was an incredible villain overall, unlike [criticism redacted]. The backstory was a very cool cameo and insight into her backstory and motivations, although again [criticism redacted]. THEY DID GOOD AND THERE'S SOME SPACE FOR IT TO BETTER BUT IT'S STILL GOOD

Zerxus cameo! Love him. Love the Calamity stuff

Cute easter eggs still (like Velora reading der Katzenprince). Also I do like how cute they made Velora in preparation for [spoilers redacted]. And I like the Vex and her father interactions. Honestly I love Vex's entire narrative here, it's so amazing. Imagine being soft and kind and sexually assertive and a very dangerous killer? When will your fave ever

Fucking Yenk and dragon kaiju battle. Did I ever mention I love kaiju battles? Yenk fucking slammed an icicle on Vorugal's head. God.

One more since I complained a bit in point 2: I love army gathering sequences. The part with Earthbreaker Groon and the Storm Lord? Amazing imagery. Animation was overall very good.

There's a bunch of smaller stuff that were deviations from the stream that I'm not gonna comment on. Plus I know that lots of people were talking about Bard's Lament... honestly I don't have an opinion on that change, even though it's a major change. Anyway 7???/10 I really liked the first half and then I liked it less with each new episode as it became obvious that the Raishan relationship was going to be very different and also I didn't even get a good [criticism redacted]

[itsasweater]

HSMTMTS thoughts before season 4 pt. 2

So this is my second part after my re-watch of season 1 through 3 before the final season airs. After giving my thoughts on the seasons in general I thought I would talk about the ships on the show since a lot of new content dropped. The discourse has been interesting to say the least lol

Warning!!! I am going to be brutally honest about the ships on the show because I don't mind discussion, discourse or pushback. I'm not going to put any anti tags because I think the fandom could use some brutal honesty right now, especially with the severe lack of media literacy when it comes to this show and it's ships.

Rini (Ricky and Nini or is it Nina lol):

So I would categorize them as a typical Disney ship, pretty cookie cutter and unoriginal. It's the typical relationship that was formed because of childhood and growing up together. This type of pairing has been done before and will certainly be done again. So for a new show it is understandable to promote this relationship to bring in the audience.

During season 1, the show placed a lot of easter eggs that would forecast the downfall of this relationship, re-watching season 1 definitely helped me catch more of them. As curtsies-from-princess-ashlyn pointed out, throughout season 1 Ricky is looking for comfort and emotional support from Nini but he doesn't get that from her because she doesn't understand what he is going through when it comes to his home life with his parents. Obviously Ricky spends the first half of season 1 trying to get Nini back with her not giving him the time of day, until the homecoming episode changes everything for him because of a certain new girl (Gina). He kind of forgets about Nini while building this new relationship, a relationship that both Nini and EJ notice. The show eventually has Ricky and Nini come back to each other towards the end of the season 1. The thing that stands out to me the most is that in order for them to be put back together, they literally had to remove Gina from an episode for it to happen. Shows tend to do this a lot, when they want a certain pairing together they remove another character so that the pairing can stand alone without any competition in the scenes. But to me this is something that always makes me go hmmmmm you had to remove a character and stop total interaction in order for this pairing to get back together. Ricky and Nini have the moment in the finale where he confesses to her bringing up all these moments from childhood and bam end of season. I think a major reason why that confession scene did nothing for me is that he mentions all these moments that he has had with her from their childhood and we the audience didn't see any of it so it kind of falls flat. How am I supposed to be invested in that speech when I didn't see those moments. I also think putting them back together just regressed their characters. I always have a hard time watching that scene because the acting was just off, I think it was mentioned that they let Josh improvise it and maybe they shouldn't have.

Season 2 starts with Rini back together and in the very first episode Ricky looks directly at the camera and says that him and Nini are never breaking up ever again lol. I don't know if needing media literacy is necessary for that line because the show is spelling it out for the audience foreshadowing that they are going to be over again. That line was not a mistake, it was telling the audience to be prepared. Nini starts the season by not being truthful to Ricky about leaving and going to YAC until she just blurts it out with everyone around. The communication with these two has just always been non existent. Nini doesn't even know that Ricky moved, she goes to his old house yet Gina knows his new address, that's another thing that made me go hmmmm and wonder. Nini starts feeling held back by Ricky and that he doesn't like/love her for the right reasons, which makes her write the Rose song that is clearly about Ricky even though she denies it when he asks her. Ricky gets all excited when Nini comes back and thinks she came back for him but in a brutal way tells him that she didn't. She was already off the bus when he called. Where having media literacy comes into play is understanding that with everything else in Ricky's life changing which is something that he hates, his relationship with Nini and Nini herself represents something the same. He clings on to Nini because he wants at least something to be the same and not change like everything else in his life, which is unfair too Nini. Midway through the season they break up with Ricky initiating it with him saying he doesn't like who he is/becoming while with Nini. The breakup scene was honestly done really well. Obviously the relationship was needed in the end so that the characters could grow and understand what they actually want.

It surprises me how many people in the fandom still cling to this relationship because they were truly miserable with each other during season 2. If you truly cared about the characters you would not want them back together, they clearly outgrew each other and just didn't work anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised though that people still cling to them because of the weird Jolivia stuff that I still see. Liking Rini and wanting them back just seems to be a cover for Jolivia's, like seriously people.

Lastly, people in the fandom like to say that if Olivia didn't leave the show or that if the drama didn't happen Rini would have been endgame yet season 2 was already written before all of that. Like I said at the start, the easter eggs were already planted in season 1 for the downfall of the relationship. I certainly think Rini was definitely endgame if the show was a limited series having only 1 season because of how season 1 ended with them together, they couldn't end it on a cliffhanger with no resolution. They did not know if they were going to be picked up for another season, once they did, they were able to go in the direction they wanted too.

I was planning on going over all of the ships in one post but by the time I finished my thoughts on Rini it was already too long lol so I might just do a post everyday leading up to the new season on the other ships.

Thanks for reading if you did! If you just read the title, thank you!

[lensman-arms-race]

⚠️Possible Spoilers for Part 3 Below, if you haven't seen the leak on DFB's shop or don't want to spoil yourself, feel free to delete this ask⚠️

So. As we seen in the leak, Sci looked super worried (sad-shaped-mouth) and shocked (wide eyes and eyebrows high up). This has to mean some sort of unexpected danger has arrived. Was wondering what you think it could be?

The most likely candidate is (our glorious, beloved) Cinemaman returning. All the signs are aligned for it to happen, with the 2 titans being drastically injured or dead and GT re-emerging with huge upgrades. Plus, this is exactly 20 episodes after TTV got injured (not counting parts). I'm assuming Sci will escape since unless DFB is gonna unveil a bigger threat, the 2 main antagonists aren't gonna die so suddenly and i highly doubt there's gonna be a trap. Can't say the same for GT though.

It's almost turned into a Wile E Coyote vs the Roadrunner situation: GT comes back with better upgrades, does a very small bit of damage, has the ever loving shit beaten out of him and retreats for another upgrade. He looks really powerful now, but if Cinemaman was fully capable and was going to beat GT when he was just Cinemaman (no super cool upgrades yet) then he's def gonna destroy GT once and for all. Plus, we've seen TCam and TSpeak kill more and fight more effectively when their enraged, and Cinemaman will EASILY lose his cool when he sees the thing that trapped him and caused him so much pain, so he'll absolutely SHRED GT.

We could also see some sort of Astro Toilet Titan with the other Astro Toilets, not necessarily for the purpose of saving TCam, but to overthrow Sci and GT as rulers. An AstroTitan would be super OP.

I have a personal AT (Astro Toilet) headcanon that they are all toilets that have full memory of their human past. They faked their way up the ladder and got big upgrades, and shortly after they rebelled and formed a separate faction with the goal of eradicating the other toilets and building a society as close as possible to the old human one.

Because of this, I feel like they could try and make an alliance with the Alliance. We seen Poly play the clip of them attacking GT to the Alliance so they know well that there's discourse in there. What if the AT's and their possible AstroTitan teamed up with Upgraded TTV to form a battalion with earth-shattering power? Then, when the evil toilets are extinct, the AT's are given a large country (Probably something the size of the USA) to rebuild their society in while the Alliance rebuilds the rest of Earth.

But anyway, that's enough rambling from me, what do you think?

If it's not Titan TV that the Scientist Toilet is reacting to, I am going to shit my bum off with rage and post my disembodied buttocks to DFB.

I love your AstroToilet headcanon; I'd love to see that come true! I'm not sure how DFB could convey that information in a series without dialogue (TV utterances don't really count because they're easter eggs rather than requirements for understanding the episodes). But then he is a skilled storyteller, so who knows?

(If they did form an alliance and overthrow the non-astro skibidi toilets together, I'd rather see the hardwares and astros live together in harmony rather than have the astros split off like that. The astros in this scenario are as human as skibidis can get, and I get the impression the hardwares appreciate many parts of human culture.)

I will say it is strange that we haven't seen the Astro Toilets since episode 60, though. Are they up to something??

There's no getting around that we're approaching the Meme Number. I wonder if that's the episode in which the Alliance defeats G-Man and Scientist, and then the series does a kind of soft reboot and we start a new story arc. (By 'soft reboot' I mean like God of War 2018, which technically does follow on from the previous God of War games but starts a completely new storyline that doesn't require you to have played the previous games to understand.)

[olivia0823yxa]

I don't have strong opinions on the term "culturally christian" either way and honestly I try not to participate in discourse™ much but I will say I do appreciate that it's prompted me to think more in depth about my orientation towards Christianity in our culture.

Like, I am not and never was christian so when I decided I was an athiest at a young age it wasn't really anything I had to grapple with belief or identity-wise, it was more just like learning a new word. Athiest: someone who does not believe in any god*. Okay that describes me. But I only had that ease because my parents both converted from Christianity to Unitarian Universalism shortly before I was born. So my entire extended family is christian, and the religion that I was brought up in historically originated in Christianity.

My early religious education that wasn't about UU beliefs focused mostly on the Bible, even if they weren't telling us to believe in it they wanted us to know the basic stories for some reason. As I grew up they started teaching about other religions and sex-ed, and then I left the church before I learned more.

In my extended family, we celebrated Christmas and Easter, and at every family gathering someone led a traditional christian grace before eating. Now in my nuclear family we celebrate Winter Solstice which also is more major at the church my parents attend, but we celebrate in pretty much the same way most non-religious Christmas celebrators do**. At my school we also had off for those two holidays, even though we had a very significant number of jewish and muslim students they never got off for those holidays. Some of my classes had so many jewish students that we didn't even do any school work on the jewish High Holidays because there would be too many students who needed to do make up work, but of course the administration didn't really care.

In terms of morality, I was never taught the concept of "original sin" but since I didn't have an alternative framework I guess I somewhat absorbed the "default" sin->punishment->forgiveness christian model that pervades our society's idea of justice. As I grew up it became pretty clear that this is dumb though. Like I don't really understand how people rationalize punishment as necessary outside of a religious framework so it's actually really surprising to me that so many non-religious people believe that. UUism promotes some values, including that "the goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all" but I left the church before I learned what they mean by that.

But despite all this being enmeshed in christian culture, I'm still frequently shocked when I consciously realize some common belief or practice from so many people. The first wedding I ever went to was some distant relatives who were catholic, and I remember being horrified when it came to the vows and it was all about God and what wasn't about God was about the husband literally owning the wife. It wasn't until I was 21 that I went to another christian wedding, and I was so tense before the pastor started speaking because I didn't know if they were all like that or not***. I don't get how some people justify continuing to be a part of the Catholic Church with all its blatant evils, but are still able to reason normally in other contexts. In 2020 when the government allowed large gatherings for Christmas despite the pandemic, but didn't give a shit about the major holidays for any other religions and the news didn't even comment on that hypocrisy, I didn't understand how they could be that blind. Despite extremely accepting parents and community, it was still really difficult to be confident as a young queer, when the religous "debates" about gay marriage were still raging in mainstream media, and all I wanted to do was hold my boyfriend's hand but some asshole on TV says we can't because we'll go to a hell that I thought most people didn't actually believe in. And then as I became politically aware and it became clear that so many people care about politicians' exact standing in the micro-taxonomies of christian sects that I still can't tell apart. As far as I can tell the, the german president's only job is to give the Christmas speech once a year??? The more I learn how seriously everyone was taking it the whole time the weirder and scarier it is to me.

For a long time I also equated all religions with Christianity and came dangerously close to becoming a militant athiest. Luckily for me, when the "new atheism" thing turned rabidly anti-feminist I was put off enough that I stopped watching those youtube videos. Unlucky for society they succeeded in radicalizing so many people. Still today I'm suspicious of faith as a way of knowing, but all beliefs do require at least some faith so I'm still grappling with that.

I don't have a coherent thesis or anything I just hadn't really thoroughly and consciously thought through how much living in a christian-dominant culture affected me apart from the obvious things.

*: at this time I was so surrounded by a christian-derived notion of religion that nobody even told me any other conceptions of divine entities / faith. I did have some thoughts about deism later in high school but that's not really the point of this post

**: except sometimes we go to the church for their Solstice ceremony which is very pagan, but we do gifts and have a tree and such

***: happy to say it was great. The speech was about having fun and about how jesus was apparently a huge party animal. Later in the night I ended up sitting on the floor with the pastor drunk as fuck and talking about random shit I don't remember.

[digitalmedia-by-tejas]

Look What You Made Her Do - Taylor Swift's Unapologetic Stance Against Sexism - A Semiotic Analysis.

3.1 Abstract

Taylor Swift is a woman who needs no introduction. She is one of the greatest singers of all time (Billboard, 2024), causing waves and fighting sexism one song at a time. This article examines the semiotics and underlying messages of Swift's songs from an anti-sexist perspective, looking at her work's influence. Furthermore, This study tries to demonstrate how Swift's songs contribute to feminist discourse, elevating her from pop icon to crucial voice in the struggle for gender equality.

Finally, I will try to correlate this and find parallels that would ultimately help us, the game (product) designers, create more inclusive games, hopefully addressing the gender gap in the overall consumer base of this media.

3.1 Introduction

For the majority of my life, I had thought that Taylor Swift is dumb and that her fans, better known as "Swifties" in pop culture were just teenage girls who couldn't find anyone to get into a relationship with. But like the hypocrite that I am, I still enjoyed her songs especially "Love Story " and "Lover".

(Sky News Taylor Swift Eras Tour Movie. Available at: https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ff34d9650339566e9bd843d/1697303690784-3IZVF9B1F8IBBCKI71R1/skynews-taylor-swift-eras-tour-movie_6269175.jpeg [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].) It was not until one day when I was scrolling through the internet did I found a reel on "The Eras tour", it was nothing special just some people enjoying the show. But being the person I was back then, I wanted to go to the comment section and leave a troll comment something similar to "Oh this fanbase is so cringe, it's like a cult, why are you screaming like this, she's just a random woman singing", but then I saw a comment that said, "Why is it that when it comes to sports, the same enthusiasm is seen as people enjoying and that media having a loyal fanbase, but soon as it changes into something that women enjoy, the entire narrative changes into cringe and being obsessed ". And that made me question, whether I actually did not like Taylor Swift or if it was the underlying misogyny that had been engraved in my brain by society.

Luckily "The Eras Tour Movie" release was just around the corner so I decided to give it a try. I booked tickets for myself and went in, and first 15 minutes into the movie and I was already crying, I was having goosebumps and feeling overwhelmed in a good way. It was all the love and togetherness in the atmosphere in that random theater in Bangalore 14000 km away from the States. By the end of the movie, I was a completely changed person, I had garnered a new respect for this medium and had pledged to actively fight against this misogynist mindset that kept me away from this experience all these years. This personal revelation not only altered my perception of Swift's talent, but also encouraged me to analyze how her music connects with larger issues of feminism and resistance to patriarchy.

3.2 Swift's Semiotic Universe - The Man

Before we actually start analyzing her songs, we would first need to define semiotics. According to Fatemi from the Department of Psychology at Harvard University, "Semiotics is the scientific study of sign systems, which is often used to incorporate both systems and explores the relationship between meaning and text in its broadest sense including television, movies, radio programs, works of art, painting, and magazines" (Fatemi, 2014). Which in our scenario can be roughly translated as "reading between the lines", except we will also be looking into her music videos, stage performances, the way media responds to her and even how Taylor uses imagery.

Taylor Swift is a master of semiotics, every snake, every line has a meaning behind it that's meticulously tailor-made for that exact spot. In her own words, Taylor Swift said that she likes to plant easter eggs in her videos, which can be a lyric from a piece of unreleased music or a little hint or wink to what's coming in the future.

Being a fierce advocate for feminism and equality, We often see Taylor Swift building narratives (sometimes throughout different albums), that hit hard against sexism and patriarchy. Let’s break it down by looking at one of her most impactful works - THE MAN:

(The Man poster. Available at: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQhyzhb-HrVNpYlo2FWH5qFLbhCDJ1hIr6QxA&s [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].)

1. Lyrics The Man came out in 2019, with the release to Taylor's seventh album "Lover" and this song majorly addresses gender biases, especially how it manifests in a workplace setting.

“I would be complex, I would be cool, they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be okay for me to do, every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you I’d be a fearless leader, I’d be an alpha type When everyone believes ya, what’s that like?”

In this, Taylor is referring to hegemonic masculinity, which basically means a societal pattern in which stereotypically male traits are idealized as the masculine cultural ideal, explaining how and why men maintain dominant social roles over women and other groups considered to be feminine (Connell and Messerschmidt, 2005). With her lyrics, she is emphasizing how in this modern patriarchal capitalist society having ruthless masculine traits like fearlessness and ruthlessness is often rewarded and this masculine authority makes people trust you more easily compared to other feminine traits.

At the end of this lyric, she is asking the men in the house, that how does it feel to be looked up as always deserving and believable, How does it feel to not work extra hard to receive comparatively more credits than a woman.

“They’d say I hustle, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve What I was wearing, if I was rude, could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves …If I was out flashin’ my dollar, I’d be a bitch not a baller…

In this paragraph, according to me, Swift is being consistent with neoliberalism, which means "the philosophical view that a society’s political and economic institutions should be robustly liberal and capitalist." (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 2024). But in this definition, the "capitalist", or the money takes more precedence as described by Taylor, this can also be seen as a critique of Neolibralisation as it can be seen as a capitalist agenda to manipulate the social narrative of feminism towards money and power. Her saying that as long as she has the money, she will be respected is a testament to that. This is also in line with Anna Elomäki and Johanna Kantola's findings in their journal article titled "Theorizing Feminist Struggles in the Triangle of Neoliberalism, Conservatism, and Nationalism", where they concluded that Neoliberalism is often used as a tool to compartmentalize feminist struggles which leads to "limited analysis of political context and policies while being simultaneously underpinned by neoliberalism, conservatism, and nationalism and limited or even wrong interpretations of reasons behind the adoption of these policies." (Elomäki and Kantola, 2018). By this they basically mean that neoliberalism (along with nationalism and conservatism) is being used a tool to prevent the feminist movement to look into the broader picture whenever new policies are introduced.

I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man And I’m so sick of them coming at me again, ‘cause if I was a man, then I’d be the man

She finally binds the entire narrative together with these lines stating that she is sick of being in this hegemonic masculine system that uses tools like neolibralism to undermine sociopolitical movements like feminism. She reinstates that she is sick on all these "men" coming at her and to that extent all the women and feminists out there with all these agendas and tools and that they have to always be on guard with what they are representing and always be ahead of these men all the time. She says that none of this would have been the case if she were a man, which subtly points to the hope that if we actually embrace equality, all of these agendas and manipulations will fade away.

These interpretations align with (Caroline et al., 2023) who state that the words, phrases, and sentences used in the song “The Man” highlight the disparities and obstacles women often face in society, prompting listeners to question and challenge these norms.

2. Music Video

Taylor Swift is notorious for adding semiotics and hidden messages in her music videos. Quite evidently so, the music video for her song "The Man" is a goldmine for semiotic analysis. The video itself is a visual manifestation of the messages she wants to promote in her song.

(Taylor Swift's transformation for the music vidoe of The Man Image. Available at: https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/1024/branded_news/2392/production/_111060190_taylor_2shot.jpg[Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].)

Judith Butler's concept of gender performativity which means the idea that gender is constituted through repeated actions, behaviors, and performances that align with societal norms and expectations (Butler, 2006, p. 33)., is evident in her music video, where she literally transforms into a male persona highlighting how masculity is not inherent but a choice. This act challenges the notion of fixed gender roles. Just like Butler's theory suggests, Swift demonstrates that gender is not a static state but a fluid, performative act that can be challenged and redefined (Butler, 2006, p. 45).

3.3 The Bridge Between Music to Gaming - A conclusion

The gaming industry of today is a highly segregated space. For example, Minecraft which is often regarded as the second best selling game in history with over 300 million copies (IGN, 2024), has a female participation rate of just 32% (Demand Sage, 2024). And I think developers can use Taylor's approach to fight against this glaring gender gap within the consumerbase.

Taylor's critiques of hegemony masculinity is inline with how games often reinforce traditional gender roles. By incorporating diverse, non-binary, or complex female characters, designers can break these stereotypes and promote inclusivity. Ultimately, by embracing feminist ideals in game design, like Swift does in her music, developers can help bridge the gender gap in gaming, creating more inclusive spaces and empowering players to challenge patriarchal norms.

3.4 References

Billboard, 2024. Taylor Swift among the greatest pop stars of the 21st century. Available at: https://www.billboard.com/music/pop/taylor-swift-greatest-pop-stars-21st-century-1235839222/ [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Butler, J., 2006. Gender trouble: Feminism and the subversion of identity. Taylor & Francis Group. Available at: https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/herts/reader.action?docID=710077&ppg=45 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Caroline, Y. P., Zahrani, T., Sitompul, M.R. and Rangkuti, R., 2023. A feminist-stylistic analysis of the Taylor Swift song entitled "The Man." KLAUSA (Kajian Linguistik Pembelajaran Bahasa dan Sastra), 7(2), pp. 115-124. Available at: https://doi.org/10.33479/klausa.v7i2.881 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Connell, R.W. and Messerschmidt, J.W., 2005. Hegemonic masculinity: Rethinking the concept. Gender & Society, 19(6), pp. 829-859. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1177/0891243205278639 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Demand Sage, 2024. Minecraft statistics. Available at: https://www.demandsage.com/minecraft-statistics/#:~:text=Minecraft's%20user%20base%20consists%20of,4000%20Minecraft%20servers%20in%202023 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Elomäki, A. and Kantola, J., 2018. Theorizing feminist struggles in the triangle of neoliberalism, conservatism, and nationalism. Social Politics: International Studies in Gender, State & Society, 25(3), pp. 337-360. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1093/sp/jxy013 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Fatemi, S.M., 2014. Semiotics, Overview. In: T. Teo, ed. Encyclopedia of Critical Psychology. New York, NY: Springer. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5583-7_396 [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

IGN, 2024. Best-selling video games of all time: Grand Theft Auto, Minecraft, Tetris. Available at: https://www.ign.com/articles/best-selling-video-games-of-all-time-grand-theft-auto-minecraft-tetris [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, 2024. Neoliberalism. Available at: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/neoliberalism/ [Accessed 14 Nov. 2024].

[mcytblrconfessions-but-bad]

https://www.tumblr.com/mcytblrconfessions-but-bad/763014323558858752/i-need-yall-to-start-discourse-here-again-pls-i

On it o7 have a few in one ask bestie <3

I didn’t give a shit that one mcc was during a Jewish holiday week, I don’t have any Jewish holidays on my phone or physical calendars, I only have holidays that are for my country so no thanksgiving from America and no Japan’s white day. The only religious holiday that’s on my calendar is Easter and Christmas and that’s because the entire country has a day off. How the hell would Scott and noxcrew, none who are Jewish, would have known about it if fucking physical or digital calendars don’t even show them. They did try to change it but that wasn’t good enough for Twitter because death threats were still sent. Why not send death threats to the players too since they say anything to noxcrew. Or maybe because they didn’t know either :/

MCC fans are so fucking annoying about retired players. No, Ranboo isn’t coming back his fans already made it clear they don’t want Ranboo playing. Sapnap isn’t coming back because nearly all of the players hate him for good fucking reasons and no Quig or Rendog isn’t coming back shut the hell up.

“Oh no why isn’t my hermit popular! If they were in the life series they would be!” Yeah life series hermits are popular because oh would you look at that it’s a popular and well liked series. Hell fucking Gem and Pearl were in empires before the life series and are still popular are you going to blame empires smp too? Hmm hmm?

Rebuttal me bitches

.

[beatrice-otter]

Is Christmas pagan?

There’s a shitton of discourse around this every year, and a lot of the assumptions people have about the origins of Christmas and many Christmas traditions are either flat-out untrue or have no evidence behind them.

First is the claim that the date of Christmas is pagan in origin, that it was a co-opting of a Roman pagan holiday. This claim was made up in the 20th Century when people noticed that a) there were actually two different Roman holidays that overlapped with December 25th (Saturnalia and the Feast of the Unconquered Sun) and b) the accounts of feasting and partying for Saturnalia (we don’t have good records about the Feast of the Unconquered Sun, it was from one of the secretive mystery cults) sound a lot like the feasting and partying we do today for Christmas. There’s no evidence for this claim beyond “this sounds like it would make sense.” And there are significant problems with it.

Christmas was the last of the major holidays to be added to the Christian calendar, in the 4th Century AD; it’s not in the New Testament (unlike Easter and Pentecost, the two most theologically important holy days in the Christian calendar). We have the contemporary account of how they chose the date, which is not about pagan holidays but rather about numerology. They might have been lying, of course; but just because ancient numerology doesn’t make sense to modern people that doesn’t mean that they were lying about it. If you’re curious, here’s the story of how the calculations were made: at that time, they believed that Jesus had died on March 25. Jesus was perfect, therefore Jesus must have had a perfect life in numerological terms as well as everything else, therefore he must have died on the anniversary of his conception. (This is why Catholics celebrate the Annunciation--the day the angel came to Mary--as March 25th.) If Jesus was conceived on March 25th and had a perfect nine-month pregnancy, that puts his birth at December 25th.

As for the partying, Christmas was a time of fasting in the early church, not a time of partying. Solemn prayer and hymn-singing. No meat. Long worship services. If the date was chosen in relation to either Saturnalia or the Feast of the Unconquered Sun, the purpose was not to co-opt the pagan partying and say “hey, you can still have your midwinter parties in the Christian church!” but rather to contrast the drunken debauchery of the pagans with the sober piety of the Christians.

Christmas just wasn’t that important a date until Christianity started moving north (it shared prominence with Epiphany in the middle of winter, and was much less important than Easter). Up north, where the days are very short and everything is cold and dark, celebrating something in the middle of winter is very important to keep spirits up. And yes, the Germanic tribes and the Nordic peoples and the Slavs all had major festivals in midwinter, and many of the traditions associated with those festivals got attached to Christmas. (Trees, burning the Yule log, etc., etc.) But even up in the North where Christmas was much more important than it was in southern Europe, Christmas didn’t become The Biggest Celebration Of The Christian Year until the Victorians in the 19th Century.

Back to those pagan Germanic customs. Christian missionaries did not take those elements and incorporate them into Christmas celebrations. In fact, Christian missionaries and priests spent centuries trying to stamp those pagan elements out! They spent centuries telling people they were going to hell for still practicing paganism if they celebrated Christmas in a pagan way. For every priest who accepted or encouraged those pagan traditions, there were ten more trying diligently to stamp them out.

The pagan customs--trees, holly, etc.--have not survived because Christian priests co-opted and appropriated them. They have survived because the people who first practiced those customs kept them after converting, despite centuries of Christian authorities trying to stamp them out.

[phoneybeatlemania]

hey bestie! if you're still doing the beatles asks: 6, 7, 8, and 11 (sorry if that's a lot lol)

I am still answering asks! I didn’t get many cause Im kind of irrelevant atm since I haven’t made much effort to be an actual part of the fandom since about November. But yeah, idk—if you want my take on things NOW IS THE TIME TO ASK since its Easter holidays and after this its going to be only revision until June and I will, once again, be back to Irrelevance :(

Re: Fun Beatles Asks

btw its 12:30am now so idk if my writing makes sense here, but ill edit tomorrow lol.

6. Share a spicy take.

Hmmmm….musically, Help! as an album is pretty meh. For a lot of people I think it marks the beginning of their descent into the Post-Rubber Soul period, and they Get The Hype. But idk man—I think theres plenty of bops, plenty of bangers, but all-in-all I cant really think of any tracks that Really Do It For Me, y’know?

[That really wasn’t that spicy, but when Im put on the spot and try to think of SPICY TAKES, my brain can only think of pretty lame ones that we all probably agree with tbh]

Also, I don’t wanna be annoying here, but as a fandom I don’t feel like we make much effort to point out that John and Mays relationship fundamentally was Fucked. Ill refrain from saying “we don’t talk about [XYZ] enough!!!” cause ik that’s annoying—but idk man, it took awhile for it to really occur to me that Actually No sleeping with your assistant is……not okay :/ Im not saying we have to #CancelJohnLennon for it, or even that the entire relationship was a bad thing (because despite it being about as complicated as any of Johns relationships, there clearly were a lot of positives within their relationship; and also, I wouldn’t want to wholly-vilify John whilst wholly-victimising May, because that would be reductive too, and May Pang obviously doesn't want that), I just feel like we should acknowledge it a little more, y’know? Just keep it in mind.

7. What is a Beatles-discourse topic that needs to die?

Im not sure if Im going to explain this particularly well, and I guess its not even really a “discourse topic”, its more-so just a facet to discourse—but I really think that responding to something with an [irrelevant] comparison needs to die. So like, if were critiquing John for something, then I *hate* seeing someone respond with “Okay but why don’t we talk about [insert something annoying about Paul]” (and vice-versa; it’s not just John fans who do this but Paul fans too ofc). Another example would be if we’re talking about Mimi, then bringing up Jim probably isn’t relevant. Its just an evasive technique, and I really don’t see what purpose it serves. They’re all separate people, so just judge and analyse them separately. If we don’t talk about XYZ enough then just………..go start the conversation, but do it in your own post. 

[Having said this, I recognise that on occasion good comparisons can be made to highlight double-standards or hypocrisy etc. But I just think 99.9% of the time people utilise comparative arguments to detract from an actual point, rather than making an effort to actually address it, and its just really…..boring and unnecessary.]

8. What do you think makes the Beatles fandom uniquely fun? 

I love this question!! :)

I feel like the Beatles fandom can be such a perfect combination of artistic appreciation, pop-culture analysis and psychoanalysis! When I talk to people irl, I always tell them that the Beatles are best heard in context, because theres just something so sad but beautiful about seeing their artistic progressions corresponding to their relationships. Like the whole stories there just within the songs, and idk man, I just think that’s beautiful. 

11. What is your favourite aspect of their artistry outside the songs themselves?

Im honestly *obsessed* with their fashion! Ive been trying to find some vintage 60’s clothes to resemble theirs (especially Georges and Glyn Johns in GB) because they’re just SO fun and original and I Love Them :))

[thegreatimpersonator]

I feel like the issue in general you can say it stems from secret messages (seems a pattern of a innocent thing that gets blown out of proportion like secret sessions and easter eggs) and the media previously saying which boyfriend a song was about because this idea of "proving" what a song is about is a huge swiftie thing like recent with tvfn there was debate is it about harry or jake there was another post about how now after redtv they feel like clean is about jake not harry tbh I see a lot of swifities who analyse and interpret her lyrics by solely focusing on her exes and stuff instead of just listening to the music and feeling it like if this was english class and we were writing essays about what the author intended then sure that's all fine (tbh it's fine as a tumblr post too but when you see it all the time its like do you think about anything other than her love life) like a lot of thinkpieces about why taylor is an amazing lyricist always go in depth about her personal life and I always find it not nice like other artists and fandoms you can literally say a song is about anything even fictional stories and that's fine there's no outright big discourse about it all, I think it's sorta expected that their are queer swifities who adopt this "proving" approach when a lot of straight swifities have been doing this since her career started basically I guess I'm trying to say as much as those types of gaylors/kaylors are in the wrong and need to learn to do better (also the idea of having a celeb/artist/actor come out as queer so you can finally relate to them is another issue like you don't have to relate to every aspect of a celeb to resonate with their feelings their artwork i know from first hand being poc/queer it's hard when you've never seen someone like yourself in someone famous but you don't have to 'see' it, sometimes you can just let yourself feel things from their artwork it's okay and the way some gaylors/kaylors get defensive you can understand them from the point of view that they may have once been invalidated for their queer feelings so have adopted a defensive stance like this it's understandable and as hard as it is we need to unlearn this) I think the way for that to happen is for all of us swifities need to collectively unlearn that "proving" behaviour when it comes to her music whether it's old music or new (sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense, I guess I don't think it's completely black and white and that there could be more compassion in general in the fandom also well sorry for using your blog as a spokesperson thing and lastly there are kaylors who go out their way to discredit everything she's said about joe and that is horrible to constantly act like everything she does is a lie and yeah there are gonna be some who don't feel like they need to unlearn anything so we can all try not to generalise and just not engage with anyone that's not willing to change)

yes i completely agree! we definitely need to unlearn this parasocial relationship stuff of 'solving easter eggs' and thinking we know enough about her personal life to investigate it and prove which songs are about which person. all of it just discredits her work. i've been guilty of it, i'm sure everyone has been at some point.

[justformyself2]

what is up with us and boats?

Happy Easter yall!!! This one goes out to the beautiful soul that gave the idea @alievans007​ thank you do much, i really hope you enjoy ♥

I don’t know if you guys ever watched “My Best friend’s Wedding.” but there is this scene were they are on the boat ride in Chicago, and i love that scene, this is sort of based on that. 

VIDEO FOR WHO WANTS TO SEE.  (CLICK)

KrasinskixReader/Fluff.

(don’t remember where i got this gif from.)

"We need to talk." The worst type of message anyone could ever receive. 

Holding up a smirk, you start typing.

"Yes, we do."

"Could you focus? You know, for the love of God and everything. We still have to drive to Olivia's after this." Mariah interrupts whatever dance with the danger you were having with John over text.  

"Why is everybody so weird all of the sudden? First John and now you too, I mean, we are settling details here. The trip to Positano is all sorted."

She gets radio silent, making you look away from your phone. 

"Mariah." You call.

"What?" She answers, badly covering the stress in her voice.

"Everything is fine, right?"

She breaths out through the nose, clicking on the mouse rapidly. 

"Mariah." You call again as if an answer different than you were expecting would come out. 

The Positano trip was a huge deal, a huge, cryptic deal that Mariah arranged by herself through an old friend you never heard or saw. The client, by the name of Vince, was paying double to hire your company, and an undeniable request came, almost sweeping away all of your doubts. You would get to shoot a perfume commercial during the holidays at the place you always dreamed of visiting. It was embarrassing how fast the yes came out, almost in a scream towards Mariah's face, even though there was something off. 

It was true that in the past you worked for the big names, but since the decision to open your own company with Mariah happened, it was all new, too new to be receiving this type of offer. You decided to brush it off by 

trusting your business partner, Mariah had been in the game longer than you have, and if she claimed, more than once, that it was a safe offer and that she had under control then you should believe since her reputation was on the game too, but now get to watch her sitting in front of you, looking worried.

"Well, I'm going to make some phone calls, but don't worry, it is a quick fix situation. I will be right back."

She gets up from the desk, grabbing her phone, and leaving the space before you could say something back. 

Your mind wonders over the fact that your intuition should be listened to more often. It was a "too good to be true" offer, so if that would end up being right, and Mariah came back with the bad news, would it mean that you were probably right about John too.

You look at your phone, facing down on the desk, and decide to check the messages again. There must be something missing between the lines.

Inserting the pin you open up the new messages you received from your boyfriend.

"What do you mean with ‘yes we do’?"

"Tell me when I can call you."

"Damn. I think I'm not getting the week off. They are talking about reshooting some parts." 

"I will call you in 10 minutes."

And just as you read the last one, your phone vibrates. It was his call. Taking a deep breath, you accept it.

"Hey, babe, did you get my texts?"

You hear the many voices in the background mixing with his.

"Yes, I did... Are you on set right now?"

"Yes. I'm on a little break...I'm sorry, baby. I'm not going to make it to Positano."

The frustration makes your heart skip a beat even though you saw the message, hearing it in his voice had a different effect. You stopped counting the weeks without him because of the impact they had on your day, instead, in a very unhealthy way, that habit was replaced with you picturing him waiting for you at home, laying in the bed you shared or in the kitchen, trying to replicate whatever recipe out of Youtube just to prove that he could cook, just to try to impress you. He still wanted to impress you after all this time, he just didn't figure out how to be in two places at once. 

"Well, don't be. If I'm right I don't think this trip is happening." 

As time passes by without Mariah coming back, your guess was becoming a reality. It wasn't a quick fix thing.

"What are you talking about?"

His voice went urgent, and he quickly added: "I mean, it was a great offer."

"Yes, but it is a holiday season. It gets difficult with hotel reservations and flights, but Mariah ran away before I could get a word out of her. It happens."

"Wow, you sound so indifferent. I thought you loved Positano." 

You had to agree with him. You felt the apathy in your bones.

"I do love Positano, but the offer was out of touch like something was off like everything is off."

You hear him chuckle and frown to yourself, walking towards Mariah's laptop on her desk.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. You were so weird when I dropped you at the airport as if you wanted to say something to me or pass out."

You reminisce his pale face and the way his hands were clammy on yours before the goodbye on the car. 

"Those are two very different things." You wanted to picture the face he could be doing right now.

"Well, I still feel like there is something you are not tell-."

"Baby, I need to go right now, sorry, I will call you later okay."

The interruption of a female voice in speakers was the last thing you heard before he hanged up.

"What the hell was going on?" You say to yourself. 

Forgetting about the phone you decided to check on Mariah's laptop for confirmations, but before anything was done she busted through the door.

"Did you fixed it?"

You ask, seeing her avid eyes shift between you and the laptop.

"What are you doing?" She asks and snaps out of the suspicion stare.

"What do you mean what am I doing? I want to help. Do you care to tell me what is happening, Mariah?"

Her phone calls her attention, and she rushes towards the laptop, answering quickly, leaving you only to watch again.

"Did you get my text? Yes, apparently a bug happened on the site, and our plane tickets got canceled." She discoursed to the person on the other site.

"I don't know if we are getting new ones on the same date, there is a lot of demand... Well, then we have to cancel for no-... Are you sure? Okay, no. I can do that, is way off plan, way less dreamy, really, way less, but I guess we can do it if you do this right now."

She pauses, focused on what was being passed down. "Okay, then it's the new plan. Okay, okay, bye."

Hanging up, she now seemed to be willing to share.

"Change of plans. I informed Vince's team about what happened, and a girl named J-Jannete said that we should meet to settle some details. They want to go for a studio since the deadline would get messed up because of the plane ticket debacle."

"Shit, why didn't you put on speakerphone? I know someone that could help us wit-."

"NO!..." She screams, making you back away involuntary.  "I mean, I already checked that, and we can't keep tapping on something that isn't working. They are already upset and we could lose even more time. Jenna set up a meeting with Vince himself...Jannete, at four, so you get to meet him, as you wanted."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . 

"Why are we on a boat ride again?"

You ask Mariah, who fanned herself with a flier they were distributing about the ride.

"Because we got bailed on and it has been a long time since I don't go on one of those."

She adjusts the sunglasses in an annoyed way. 

The day-star was starting to set, still, the weather was hot and humid as if it was peaking. You try to catch delicate hints of purple and pink on the mostly light orange painted sky.

"I haven't been on one of these since John asked me to be his girlfriend. It was our third date. He insisted on the boat ride and I didn't like it, but then the sun was setting so beautifully, in not time the only thing i could care about was the way he looked at me."

There is no interruption other than the sting in your chest, making you stop on the tracks of something you loved to remember.

"I think John is lying to me. I don't think he was on set." Voicing the thoughts made them too real, and suddenly you wanted to forget about them.

"Yeah."

Mariah twists her torso once or twice, looking back to the people who were still taking seats. You doubted she was listening to anything you said all the way here. She started inspecting the place, restless since the taxi dropped you two.

"Okay, are you waiting for someone?"

By impulse, you look back to pursue whatever her eyes were trying to find even without knowing, and that is when you spotted him, a vision that walked towards you, seeming to be out of breath. His mouth partially open turns into the smile you wanted to kiss.

"Son of a bitch."

The words flew from your lips and you hear Mariah's laugh.

Your eyes follow his movements with thirst, so much thirst that everything else is a mere blur in the background.

John comes closer, saying something to Mariah when she gets up and hugs him. She never hugged him. 

You swallow dry, seeing for a second Mariah give you a thumbs up before walking away.

"Hey." He almost whispers towards your face, taking the seat, and when his lips come closer to yours, you back away. He frowns.

"You were in LA."

"Yes, I was."

"Please, don't short answer me."

He gets up from the chair and grabs extends his hand towards you.

"Come with me, and I will explain."

Not thinking twice you accept his hand, being guided to the stern of the boat, walking in the middle of strangers and loud conversations. John drops your hand and reaches for your waist with smoothness as if he could be taking you to dance. Intuitively your arms laces around his neck.

His eyes trace a path away from you and straight to your mouth before he started moving.

"You are so difficult to lie to." He starts, smirking. 

A gust of wind blows the locks of your hair away, and his fingers are quick to adjust them behind your ear, sending goosebumps on your back. You missed his touch on your skin.

"But you did lie to me." You can't help to say, trying to focus.

"It was only because I wanted to this right, but I know I would blow it at some point. It almost happened when you dropped me at the airport."

"Do what right?"

His breath came out uneasy through his nose, and he licks his lips.

"Ask you to...marry...me."

Instantly you feel your eyes starting to water. There was no control or rational thought that could calm down the wave of feeling like the soles of your shoes weren't touching the wooden floor of that boat, and his arms were the only thing keeping you down.

"There is no Vince. It was a bait to make a surprise for you and get you to Positano without getting too suspicious, and I lied about not going as part of the surprise. I would do the whole thing right, bring our families, have a huge dinner, enjoy a couple of days there. Then your tickets got canceled, the Vince thing got way too suspicious, and I haven't seen you in almost four weeks. Next thing I know, I was at the airport, counting the hours to do this."

He captures your lips with his before you could comprehend. There are intensity and the passion you craved, and that only he could provide, he could devour you, and you would let him.

"Do it right now."

You ask, out of breath, after parting the kiss with his moan of reproval.

"Don't you want the real thing? You know, I can figure out the tickets, maybe call Clooney and ask if we can borrow his private jet. He will probabl-."

"I don't care where you are going to propose to me. I just want you to do it, that is the real thing. It could have been on the car, at breakfast, at the airport, or even in a replica of the day you asked me to be your girlfriend."

He laughs, kissing you again. He holds your face in his hands, parting the kiss to gaze at your eyes.

"Oh, I'm glad you remembered it. That is why I wanted to make something different this time. What is up with us and boats?."

"I don't know but let's get back into the program here. You were about to ask me something." 

He frowns, looking away theatrically.

"And what was the question, again?" John asks, setting his face close to yours. His lips touching your cheeks, coming closer to your ear.

"Was it something like. Do you want to marry me?" 

You could feel your neck hair getting up with the vibration of his low and deep tone affecting you easily.

"Yes."

[oneweekoneband]

I’m slightly nauseous already with knowing I’m going to say this, but what does “self-awareness”  even mean? In modern parlance, as a descriptive phrase, as a comment on art? I’m asking in earnest, like, I’ve been Googling lately, which for me is basically on par with doctoral study in terms of academic rigor. The self is king, anyway, tyrant, so where is the line of distinction between material that intentionally is nodding at some truth about the artist’s life and what’s just, like, all the rest of the regular navel-gazing bullshit. I mean, I’m all self, I am guilty here. I can’t get it out of my poems or even make it more quiet. This is the tenth time I’ve invoked “I” in the space of six sentences. Processing art has always necessitated a certain amount of grappling with the creator, but the busywork of it lately grows more and more tedious. Joy drains out of my body parsing marks left behind not just in stylistic tendencies and themes, but in literal, intentional tags like graffiti on a water tower. This feels an age old and moth-holed complaint, dull, and I am no historian, or really a serious thinker of any kind. I’ve now complained at some length about self-referential art, but didn’t I love how Martin Scorsese nodded to the famous Goodfellas Copacabana tracking shot with the opening frames of last year’s The Irishman? Didn’t I find that terribly fun and sort of sweet? So there’s distinctions. I’m only saying I don’t know with certainty what they even are. I’m unreliable, and someone smarter than me has likely already solved my quandary about why self-knowledge often transforms into overly precious self-reflexivity in such a way that the knowledge is diminished and obscured, leaving only cutesy Easter eggs behind. Postmodernism has birthed a moralizing culture where art exists to be termed either “self-aware Good” or “self-aware Bad”.  Self-referentiality in media is so commonplace, so much the standard, that what was once credited as metatextual inventiveness often feels lazy now. In 1996, Scream was revitalizing a genre. Today, two thirds of all horror movies spend half their running time making sure that you know that they know they’re a horror movie, which is fine, I guess, except sometimes you just wanna watch someone get butchered with an axe in peace. 

This is all to say that in 2020 Taylor Swift looked long and hard upon her image in the reflecting pool of her heart and has written yet another song about Gone Girl.

“mirrorball” is a very good piece of Gone Girl —feels insane to tell anyone reading a post on a blog what Gone Girl is but, you know, the extremely popular 2012 novel about a woman who pretends to have been murdered and frames her husband for it, and subsequently the 2014 film adaption where you kinda see Ben Affleck’s dick for a second—fanfiction. It would be a fine song, a good song, really, even if it weren’t that, if it were just something normal and not unhinged written by a chill person who behaves in a regular way, but we need to acknowledge the facts for what they are. When Taylor Swift watched Rosamund Pike toss her freshly self-bobbed hair out of her face and hiss, “You think you’d be happy with some nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby. I’m it!” her brain lit up like a Christmas tree, and she’s never been the same. If you Google “taylor swift gone girl” there waiting for you will be a medium sized lake’s worth of articles speculating about how Gone Girl influenced and is referenced in past Swift singles “Blank Space” and “Look What You Made Me Do”. This is not new behavior, and if anything it’s getting a bit troubling to think that it’s been this long since Taylor’s read another book. Still, while the prior offerings were a fair attempt at this particular feat of depravity, “mirrorball” has brought Taylor’s Amy Elliott Dunne deification to stunning new heights. And most importantly, Taylor has done a service to every person alive with more than six brain cells and a Internet connection by putting an end to the “Cool Girl” discourse once and for all. By the power invested in “mirrorball”, it is hereby decreed that the Cool Girl speech from Gone Girl is neither feminist or antifeminist, not ironic nor aspirational. No. It’s something much better than all that. It’s a threat. I ! Can ! Change ! Everything ! About ! Me ! To ! Fit ! In !

Gone Girl (2012) by Gillian Flynn

“mirrorball” (2020) by Taylor Swift

When the twinkly musical stylings of Jack Antonoff, a man I distinctly distrust, but for no one specific reason, whirl to life at the beginning of this song I feel instantly entranced, blurry-brained and pleasure-pickled like an infant beneath a light-up crib mobile or, I guess, myself in the old times, the outside times, three tequila sodas deep under the disco lights at The Short Stop. Under a mirrorball in my head. I know very little about music, as a craft, and I really don’t care to know more. I’m happy in a world of pure, dumb sensation. I’m not even sure what kind of instruments are making these jangly little sounds. I just like it. I am vibing. We may not ever be able to behave badly in a club again, but I can sway to my stupid Taylor Swift-and-the-brother-of-the-lady-who-makes-like-those-sweatshirts-with-little-sayings-or-like-vulvas-which-famous-white-women-wear-on-instagram-you-know-what-I-mean song, pressing up onto my tiptoes on the linoleum tile of our kitchen floor and can feel for a second or two something approaching bliss. “mirrorball” is a lush sound bath that I like a lot and then also it’s about being all things to all people, chameleoning at a second’s notice, doing Oscar worthy work on every Zoom call, performing the you who is good, performing the you who is funny, performing the you who draws a liter of your own blood and throws it around the kitchen then cleans it up badly all to get your husband sent to jail for sleeping with a college student... Too much talk about making and unmaking of the self is way too, like, 2012 Tumblr for me now, and I start hearing the word “praxis” ring threateningly in my head, but I’m not yet so evolved that I don’t feel a pull. Musings on the disorganized self—on how we are new all the time, and not just because of all the fresh skin coming up under the dead, personhood in the end so frighteningly flexible—are always going to compel me, I’m afraid, but that goes double for musings on the disorganized self which posit that Taylor Swift still thinks Amy Dunne made some points.

Because on “mirrorball” Taylor is for once not hamfistedly addressing some “hater”, in the quiet and the lack of embarrassing martyrdom it actually offers an interesting answer to the complaint that Taylor is insufficiently self-aware. This criticism emerges often in tandem with claiming to have discovered some crack in the chassis of Swift’s public self, revealing the sweetness to be insincere. My instinct is to dismiss this more or less out of hand as just a mutation of the school of thought that presumes all work by women must be autobiography. And, regardless, it is made altogether laughable by the fact that anyone actually paying attention has known since at least Speak Now, a delightful record populated by the most appalling, horrible characters imaginable, and all of them written by a twenty year old Taylor Swift, that this woman is a pure weirdo. To accuse Taylor Swift of lacking in self-awareness is a reductive misunderstanding, I think, of artifice. Being a fake bitch takes work. Which is to say, if we agree that her public self is a calculated performance—eliding the fact that all public selves are a performance to avoid getting too in the weeds yadda yadda— why, then, should it be presumed that performance is rooted in ignorance? Would it not make more sense that, in fact, someone able to contort themselves so ably into various shapes for public consumption would have a certain understanding of the basic materials they’re working with and concealing? Taylor Swift, in a decade and a half of fame, has presented herself from inside a number of distinct packages. The gangly teenager draped in long curls like climbing wisteria who wrote lyrics down her arms in glitter paint gave way to red lipstick, a Diet Coke campaign, and bad dancing at awards shows. There was the period where she was surrounded constantly by a gaggle of models, then suddenly wasn’t anymore, and that rough interlude with the bleached hair. The whole Polaroid thing. Last year she boldly revealed she’s a democrat. Now it’s the end of the world and she’s got frizzy bangs and flannels and muted little piano songs. Perhaps this endless shape-shifting contradicts or undermines, for some, the pose of tender authenticity which has remained static through each phase, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing it all on purpose the entire time. I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try...

In the Disney+ documentary—which, in order to watch, I had to grudgingly give the vile mouse seven dollars, because the login information that I’d begged off of my little sister didn’t work and I was too embarrassed to bring it up a second time—Taylor referred to “mirrorball” as the first time on the album where she explicitly addressed the pandemic, referring to the lyrics that start, “And they called off the circus, Burned the disco down,” and end with “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me,” which actually did made me laugh, feeling sort of warmly foolish and a little fond, because it never would have occurred to me that she was trying to be literal there. I suppose we really do all contain multitudes. Hate that.

[tophthedaydreamer]

while i like to keep most of my ocs’ religions ambiguous, i will say that Eddie and his grandmother Mary are Messianic Jewish. Mary is ethnically Jewish-German, while Eddie is not (he’s a robot and cannot have a race/ethnicity). They observe Jewish holidays like Hanukkah, Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur, etc. But they also enjoy observing traditionally Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter. They do (kinda) celebrate Halloween, but prefer to not decorate or dress up scary. 

(please note that i am not trying to start any discourse. i am aware that some in the Jewish community don’t support Messianic Jews. please note that i am not trying to invalidate Jewish culture, rather showing an appreciation for it. please do not respond with hate.)

EDIT: Mary and Eddie are now interfaith!! 

[avenger-hawk]

(1/3)HELLO! It's me, Anon who loves you again(lol). But you can call me Zera since I feel like we are going to interact more now (if u want to of course). But Damn, I just went back to finally read your response and I agree so much with what you say. I have an entire essay to write back and this shitty ask will not let me express myself lmao. Anyway, those past few days I felt so shitty just because of how degratory people can be on the internet because they think they are anonymous.

(2/3)Tumblr at this point is so…f*ucked. Constant slandering denigration, muckraking and aspersions. Some people try to negate the toxic and keep it alive but this platform is a breeding place for mob mentality. I’ve seen so many people bullied out of the place just for having a differing opinion. And so many people being all woke trying to “spill tea”, “expose” real people. They tarnish people’s feelings and reputations all behind their safe anonymous cocoon.

(3/3) And they justify this abuse/slander with “I am allowed to express my opinions so gtfo if you don’t agree bitch”. They play the victim when people tell them that opinions do not mean denigrating real people for bullshit reasons with no real proof. At this point sweetie, I am just ranting. Sorry if I am bothering you with those negative thoughts but I felt so shitty those past few days and you are pratically the only one I can get behind in this hellhole tumblr shit. Also, I am writing out-

(Last Part) As I was TRYING TO SAY before the limit bullshit cut me off, I am writing out a response to your previous response to my previous ask. It’s way too long already so I will either need to send you through dm or cut it out into pieces after I have fully written everything out. Thankkk you so much for talking to me despite me being so sudden with you. I appreciate you so much and I hope you are taking care out there (both physically AND mentally). Also, loving those art reblogs

Hello Zera and nice to meet you by your name (or nickname, it’s cute anyway~) and I’m glad you like my fanart reblogs.

I am sorry that you are feeling shitty…it’s frustrating, to say the least, to see people hide behind anonymous and slander blogs, names, real people who are behind them, for an opinion, a taste, whatever. I find irritating even the words/expressions they use, maybe because as a non native English speaker I saw them for the first time used in this bad context so they are only associated to tumblr fake woke idiots and their ‘that’s the tea’ shit. And it’s ironic that they can talk shit about people however they want but when people do the same to them they justify with not only the reasons I listen in my last reply but also with this thing you mentioned, that they are allowed to express their opinion…like, what about the person they slandered? oh but they are not ‘valid’ (I hate this word too) because their opinion is wrong. Says them, ofc. Then ofc they start playing the victim because poor kids, everyone is a bully to them.

It’s ok to rant, I understand your feeling well and I’d like to tell you that if you ‘stop paying attention’ to this it will be ok, but I do fall into the frustration & irritation pit too sometimes. But it happens less often, cause I channeled my fandom time and interested on positive stuff instead and so I want to stay. I don’t want to be preachy or belittle this problem because I know how hard it is (and you can see in my blog that I struggled with these problems directly too, both from dumbasses like those you describe, and from a different kind of creep lol, and even in my other fandom there is slandering and calling out and horrible things), but recently even more, all this coronavirus lockdown (my country is in quarantine since more than a month now) and something horrible that happened to the person I love, made me reconsider certain things. At least for me, at least for now, their importance is dulled down now…Even more than before where I was already detached from fandom dramas.

And since I can see things from a detached perspective I might try ‘suggesting’ something to not let this shit get to you…because life is a b*tch and you can’t allow yourself to suffer for f*ckers who don’t even show themselves, hiding behind an anonymous, or running a shitty blog where they just shit on people, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t engage in fandom discussion (or, like they call it, ‘discourse’, another word I hate) anyway, and I recommend everyone to not engage in anything with those f*ckers. Not because you (not just you Zera but you guys in general) are scared of them but because what they want is attention, and receiving replies, reblogs, attacks, everything, is what they want. blocking them, even making fun of them like they do to others, is ok, cause it’s repaying them with their same treatment. But cut communication. Block people, everyone. These idiots, their friends, those who put likes on their shit, those who put likes on their shit but also to your stuff because they can’t pick a side and maybe they’re good people who don’t think much about these things. Block every single person who irritates you even just a little, and everyone around them. Unfollow people, but mostly block them. The fanarts I post now has little notes compared to the ones I had in the past when I posted them, because I blocked everyone who annoys me, everyone whose opinions annoy me, everyone who starts shit even though I don’t want to speak to them, like every SN/SI/canon stans and puritans and more. I unfollowed friends who followed one of those fake woke b*tches, who reblogged their stuff I didn’t want to see, and made them unfollow me. Marie Kondo my a** lol

And make it clear, so that those who’ll see these people shitting on someone who clearly said they blocked them, will realize who’s bullying who. Maybe it won’t change anything in the short period but in the long run it will, because these assholes have their same behavioral pattern, being overt or even more, covert narcissistic b*tches in need of attention, so if their target ignores them they’ll move to another, in the same ‘area’.

The temptation to check their blogs and see if they attack you, your friends, or what they do in order to protect yourself is strong, but it won’t help getting over this. I know it’s hard and I fell into this a lot, but we all should use fandoms in a positive way to get distracted when we feel like shit because of fandoms…like looking at fanarts, fanfiction or using some private chat group that you know it’s a safe space, even though I read that a dischord chat became moralistic hell unexpectedly, for some the people who joined.

Anyway, sometimes we (and I include myself) fall into this ‘addiction’ where we consider fandom things so important, and we neglect real life people and things…and negative shit like bullying, slandering and all this makes us feel horribly and it’s not different from real life bullying. Sometimes it’s even worse because we join a fandom as a distraction, an escape route sometimes for real life problems, and instead we end up feeling like shit because of it. But, as someone who spent a whole year trying to expose a very bad person who did bad things to me online, and as a person who was slandered many times and always fought back, I can say that letting this affect our real life is bad. Because real life is even harder and we don’t need more weights on our shoulders. And if something like illness or death get close to your circle of people, you realize how all this is pointless, how these f*ckers have no purpose in their pathetic lives other than making others feel bad, and how we can and must fight back everything, but not let it get inside our heads and hearts, where we must keep things we like, our fave characters, ships, dynamics, kinks, people, whatever.

Because, and really everything I say I tried and try on myself first, there will come a time where you’ll look back at this and you’ll realize you might have missed something more important in your life, real or online it doesn’t matter, both are important…Life, I was saying, sometimes is cruel in big and small ways, taking something or someone away from you when you least expect it, making it hard to do the things you like because some a**holes decides it’s wrong, online and offline (like, try feeding crows in my area and see how much hate you can get, and being hated for something so harmless is really horrible, and it’s like the real life representation of online shit imo) is too short to worry about shitty blogs run by shitty people or shitty anons~

I really hope you’re feeling better Zera, and if you celebrate Easter I wish you a happy one!