#Truly amazing what wild stories self-distain will concoct for you when you’re actually just sick
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doctor: so, how many seizures did you have exactly?
me: maybe four? Six if I’m counting the ones where I wasn’t completely out of control thrashing, just twitchy and couldn’t move or talk.
doctor, squinting slightly: ….. hey just as a question. You zone out a lot?
me: yeah?
doctor: cool cool. You ever lose the ability to move and talk when you zone out? You ever lose the surrounding few days of memory when you zone out? You ever feel a ton of symptoms leading up to like, a five-ten second spot of time you seem to just skip completely?
me: …. Yyyeah?
doctor, scribbling ‘ABSENT SEIZURES’ on her paper and circling it a whole bunch: cool cool very cool very cool let me check something real quick I’ll be right back-
#Yeah no turns out I DIDNT manage to avoid having any seizures in class#I was having them a LOT actually who knew#I knew I was skipping time I just thought it was bc I was being innattentive and rude bc I didn’t want to be there#At the class I wanted to attend at the school I desperately wanted to go to#Truly amazing what wild stories self-distain will concoct for you when you’re actually just sick#POV It was bad enough my friends knew it was happening regularly and just didn’t know wtf it was#Like i apparently Regularly skipped bits of conversation or missed questions#And bc at the beginning of the year I was like “heyyy I disassociate a lot girlies if it happens dw I’ll hear you the second or third time”#They just Didn’t Say Anything bc they thought it was just disassociation like I did
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