#Tricorn on the cob watches LK and spins sarah/james moments out of thin air

[tricornonthecob]

FUCK OFF I NEED TO WORK

LK 107: Where on God's Green Earth Are The Bois

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

Eggs Bennie is here to remind you that you're still on the clock.

Okay but again. I'd lose my shit if I was constantly being disrespected like that, too, just for trying to do my job.

Have you ever said something in a meeting, and it was rejected, then somebody else said the exact same thing you did but slightly differently, and everybody said "Oh word?" I have. I feel Eggs Bennie right now so hard.

He feels it, too. Its why he got stationed in Bumfuck, New York.

Okay real talk I would be so fucking giddy. The rebels had no cannon and then suddenly Hella Artillery. Just flush with munitions.

quit indulging your weird crush, Sarah.

The New Hampshire Grants more like the New Hampshire Sass.

Shit doesn't get past that nose of his.

ah, so it is Redcoat Dad Issues Incarnate, then.

Fuck he knows about him. This is making me spin headcanons.

Sarah it was like a 48-hour daydream you don't need to lend it more gravitas than it deserves. Or is it the Dad Issues coming out.

You know what this reminds me of???

Longbottom Leaf.

Of course he's a fucking beef jerky guy I bet he has a sponsorship deal with fucking Jack Links. She says derisively as a beef jerky girl.

Oh no. Oh no, honeyyyyy. I'm getting Long John Silver/Jimboy Hawkins vibe from this but like, source text Treasure Island literary lesson in the dark side of human nature and not Treasure Planet wholesome father/son discovery vibes.

while they argue and continue to lean into the enemies-to-lovers trope, Henri eats all their food and watches.

"A Soldier'n Dignity."

Sarah. That's your subtitle?

They both get to say they won. Benji Franx is trying real hard to make this a friends-to-lovers situation, isn't he.

Its because You Roll I Roll We Roll

Was it that, or was it because you respect her and love it when she's bold and chaotic and thought she looked cute in the outfit.

She giving so much Dom energy in this frame.

"...I have the weirdest boner."

He likes it and is uncomfortably turned on by having his spelling corrected, because I say so.

He's either an animal, or he's super off-kilter from his crush's mad top energy, or he's both. Buddy you are getting syrup on your hands are you trying to give her more fodder to sass at you, man you really aren't handling this newfound kink well.

I'm so mad there was a part 5, why was there so much content here.

[tricornonthecob]

Now my Hips hurt

LK 110: Warshington Takes A Knee

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

He's gonna steal the Declaration of Independence

oh man what is Spy!Henri doing.

Ominous Disguise feat, +2 stealth

The resident Bard is casting some mad buffs with that fiddle.

What a fanboi!

This is turning into an episode of Turn, all we need is the handwriting sound-effects from the subtitles when we get to a new scene.

Fucken. Street Urchin Cloak of Endearment +2 luck and NPCs have to make a wisdom saving throw or else they are charmed by you.

Who wants to bet John Andre is in Boston rn

Local Community Theater director is appalled.

awwww they're so disappointed.

Howe fucking would.

Henri really put all of his stats in Dex and Charisma, didn't he. This is why he's the best field agent in this outfit.

But like also they just didn't even try.

The fucking cardio of this frenchman

That seems... precarious.

"Oh gdi"

jesus fucking christ that's a fucking difficult move.

Honestly? If I survived that shit the adrenaline would leave me cackling like a madman.

Agent Henri reporting for debriefing, and toasting his bunsies.

Just gonna raid the Boston Community Theater server.

"But Desantis saw drag in an patriotic but educational children's cartoon and the cognitive dissonance gave him a brain anyeurism."

You may need to dial down your Whiggish tendency to be super thrilled at American victories, Sarah. Also lowkey love that you're taking care of some of James' pigeons.

Oh my god she loves them. She is all in on James' hobby.

OH MY GOD ITS BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND THUS THE PIGEONS KNOW YOU'RE A CORE PART OF THEIR FLOCK.

Like at first she's a little troubled by this and by them hanging around her but she kind of just "This is my life now." Like the dads who did not want pets but end up spoiling them.

I am SO invested in this.

And the sheer width of his shoulder measurement.

[tricornonthecob]

Y'all need to try it if you haven't

LK 111: Post-Modern Mailman Benji Franx

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

James this is why you're not the best field agent.

Lol get flashbang'd, idiot.

*through tinnitus* "WHAT?"

...sooooo you're just gonna leave the loose shit there? Not gonna check to see if the EXTREMELY IMPORTANT secret missives are left behind? No? Okay then.

I don't think I've ever heard this girl out of breath until now. The first rule of Colonialland is Cardio.

*through tinnitus* "A WHAT?"

"I SAID A LOAD OF MAYO"

yoinketh'd.

When those two get in sync they could absolutely demolish the Speech and Debate club.

That is the single beefiest Quaker I've ever seen in my life. A beefquake.

...Well if you'd WAIT they'd EXPLAIN.

Bro she's calling you a fucking idiot, keep up.

Oh my GOD James is in full-swing teenager (dis)proportions mode.

Why didn't you lead with that

"Our bad."

Get out the Everclear, boys, the USPS is about to throw down

They cannot.

Well she wasn't gonna say no.

...thaaaaat looks like the continental army there, chief. Keebler Elf and everything.

Oh they're Colonial Wikileaks!

Accidentally Ended Up Okay and Good Plan are two different things, James.

Sarah: "OHHH STAHP IT"

Also Sarah you really shouldn't flirt with older men.

James: "Oh shit that was a good line I should have used that!"

Get a fucking room, you two.

holy fuck that escalated, layin' it on him a bit thick there, Sarah, I don't think he realizes you're flirting with him.

I said room, not an entire ship.

Just. Hanging out. Together. Alone. In the peaceful moonlight.

[tricornonthecob]

I am quite dehydrated

LK 112: Enter The Unhinged Ginger

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

The animators really want you to know she's got Great Lash

Dramatic, pensive moon-staring, a motif as old as time.

"Sarah honey you're looking like the heroine of an Ann Radcliffe novel. You feelin' okay? You wanna talk? Maybe get some ice cream? ...you wanna do a self-guided tour of a haunted castle?"

What the fuck they were there the whole time???

Henri is going to kill King Josh.

Its okay Henri, France has a king you can merc, too.

There he is y'all! Pirate, Walgreens manager, bridge engineer, pamphleteer, and maker of ladies' lingerie! Author of Agrarian Justice and an unhinged but apparently detailed-enough-to-be-two-volume plan to invade Great Britain! The unhinged ginger himself, T-Paine.

ehhhhhhhhhhhhh there was a better way to word that

The way she says "individual," you know she's holding back some spicy roasts.

He gets so squeaky when he meets celebrities. Like a Zebra Finch.

They zoomed in on her face while she was narrowing her eyes and ominous music was playing. Sarah's going to kill Thomas Paine.

oh my god he eats like I do.

holy shit did he inhale the drumstick

I'm sure that's supposed to be wine or madeira or something but it looks like orange Fanta.

Go off, T-Paine. You would have loved tumblr dot com.

James your fanboi is showing.

Walter Cronkite put some sass into that line.

Sarah's about to flip the table. Honestly I would, too if I had to listen to someone chewing with their mouth open (sorry, Paine.)

you know you probably shouldn't be passing around a manuscript at the dinner table.

why the fuck is Sarah just eating broth. The girl needs some proteins for all that running she does in heels. Or is she eating just a bowl of gravy?

"she's so pretty when she's going off :)"

what a fun little detail. Henri, the one who's always going on about being hungry and wanting to eat, is sharing all of his food with Paine.

"Don't call me a child, old man."

Thomas Paine is the guy you invite to a holiday dinner to cause a scene that you're too cowardly to cause. Also goddamn is that a nice fucking fireplace.

Tommy you really shouldn't hold your manuscript so close to the chandelier.

Oh my god Tommy don't forget your now-greasy manuscript

His reaction is honestly a similar reaction I had when I read Common Sense. "This reads so much easier than I was expecting! Why didn't everyone write this clearly at the time??? Hey babe come read this shit!"

"yeah he's kind of a dick. I've talked to him about it before."

"Okay but if it really is fire, this company should be the one to publish it" Girl's not gonna let some politics interfere with shrewd business acumen. She's got the lobes.

[tricornonthecob]

I keep forgetting how long these take

LK 116: No Life To Lose Like The Present

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

Hale's like 21, this would be so much less uncomfortable if they had just aged them along with the timeline. She'd be 18.

"Is she actually flirting with another patriot are you fucking kidding me rn I'm right here"

"IF THAT EVEN IS YOUR REAL NAME >:("

This is a valid question and you really should have picked a different cover story, but James is only asking pointed questions because he wants you to stop flirting with the 15-year-old 18-year-old who is also his crush.

How is he not gonna be prepared for probing questions about his backstory, he's about to be outwitted by teenagers.

Nathan you really aren't the best spy in the Continental Army.

....no, you didn't. But it is cute how you're trying to look impressive.

oh, now HE has a crush on Nathan Hale?

OH MY GOD HENRI QUIET DOWN

I just.... this is the worst judgement call.

FINALLY, wow LK Nathan Hale has some sense!

FREEDUM

...this logic feels contrived, wouldn't a better way of putting it be that a service necessary to the cause of freedom becomes honorable because it serves freedom?

Girl y'all have been engaging in Spy and Spy-Adjacent activities for 16 episodes now.

"Why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that."

Nathan you just said you've said too much why are you continuing to tell them your backstory.

Damn he went from jealous to puppy crush in very little time.

Is that grass? What -

fuckin. Everything's so fancy but it doesn't even have a foundation??? Also I see they're meeting with Popular Howe. Prime Howe. Handsome Howe.

I mean. Did y'all think it was gonna be a 4-D chess move that you'd be slick enough to pull off?

Not as much as your brother! Zing!

Sassmaster Benji Franx with the underhanded reassurance.

"Aw man :("

Your plan was to hide in short grass in a clearing, James???

Henri's the only one not interested in stalking the cute but incompetent spy.

[tricornonthecob]

My legs have recovered

LK 110: Warshington Takes The Cake (and eats it, too)

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

Don't be jealous because you only have one name, Striker.

This seems like a very pointed question for that century, and James is ready to kick the ass of a grown man three times his weight.

lol I love the sass on this gremlin.

Synchronized Duck And Roll

This frame is a delight.

Either these are the slowest grown men in existence, or James and Henri just have that much movement speed from being street urchins (likely.)

The first rule of Zombieland Colonialland is Cardio.

The expression work is really good in this episode, minus his Interviewing Face.

A Connecticut Standoff.

....I wouldn't hope for that, George, the man was decidedly Not Good at chasing children.

"Dearest mother, James spends more and more time each day in a very misguided way of reporting that will probably expose the Continental Army's doings. I sure hope this letter I will be sending through legal means won't get intercepted by our troops."

Lady Phillips:

I do like that she's keeping Lady Phillips updated on James' hobbies. Lady Phillips has probably figured out they're into each other by now.

Lol the moment James and Lady Phillips meet she'll be like

LP: "Ah! So this is the handsome penniless orphan yank my daughter's been canoodling." James: "OH! uh -" LP: "Sarah has told me all about you." James: "Well -" LP: "All. About. You."

James: Henri I stg you better not make jokes about eating my pigeon babies again.

James: ...okay, fair, that was a good burn.

...money, Sarah. They need money.

The continental army:

Liberty's Kids 110: James Hiller continues to have a Bisexual Awakening.

Henri is the trader caravan you dump your unwanted loot on in every RPG.

Okay but first off how was he able to swipe that british beaver cap, and second off he probably has so much buying power with the camp sundries wagon or whatever it was called. The camp followers must love him.

Fucking hell why did they store so much cannon in bumfuck New York when all the fighting was in Boston.

Oh my god he's bringing the pigeons lol

....good luck with that.

But I bet you he ends up with some killer racing pigeons later on in live.

Nods while still softly smiling. Goddammit stop being cute and gazing at each other like that.

[tricornonthecob]

My cat came back to sit on my arm and delayed writing this by an hour

LK 109: Walked Bunker Uphill Both Ways To School (I tried too hard on that one.)

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

"Shit this guy's spittin' mad fire."

uuuuugggggGHHHHHHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGGH the fuckin violin in the background

okay okay I'm over the knee-jerk response to post-9/11 rhetoric. God it was really everywhere wasn't it? Anyway James is adorable when he's being encouraged by the people he admires to do the things he's passionate about.

Its ya bois, Britain's finest Stock Foote-age.

....well that's extremely nerve wracking.

...isn't that apocryphal?

I was gonna make a comment about how this isn't really the time for an existential crisis, Dr. Warren, but you know what, I've never had to shoot somebody, who am I to judge. Crisis away.

They're the MVPs of this episode.

The shiniest spyglass this side of the Atlantic.

I'm going to start saying this whenever I come across a mild inconvenience.

Oh wow, someone actually got the jump on Henri???

The bunker hill they'll bunker die on. Dammit why did I already use that line.

Extraction Mission acquired, go save your damsel in distress, Sarah.

Story Mission Item removed from Inventory. Quest Updated. Map Updated.

You know it in your heart because you're a Phillips, and a Phillips leaves no comrade behind, especially if they're a cute boi.

I love this detail that he's so panicked/shook from being near the battlefield he's having difficulty writing. I wish they'd done this more often.

"oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu - " *bluescreens*

Damn they had to send in the second-string Stock Footeage.

I know you're trying to be helpful but I think he gathered that, James.

The Continental Army's ole reliable.

I know he would have said that even if he wasn't crushing on her but this is a small Sarah/James shippable moment and I don't care what anyone says.

Adrenaline will make you do crazy things. I love the potential here. Can he even hear himself crying out? Can he feel the strain on his bones as he sprints harder than he's ever sprinted in his life? Does the ring in his ears from artillery fire cut through the shrieking of his instincts and grant him clarity?

Anyway back to the PBS Kids' Show

...the PBS Kids' Show with Blast Concussions.

oh god his face here. He's so scared and worried and hopped up on adrenaline.

Bruh somehow that's an understatement.

I love this interaction. I LOVE this interaction so much.

[tricornonthecob]

Its the LK Midterm

LK 120: This title hits different after Paris Hilton's sextape

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

I wonder where the budget went

Revenge of the auto-generated CCs. Henri said ball.

He is super psyched for the ball.

Henri's gonna crash the party like:

Why is James so happy did he finally make out with Sarah

They totally made out before she left why else would he be so chipper.

all right then, Debbie Downer.

My guy. They are closed gtfo also James has a really good visual now and he'd like to try it out

Same, Henri.

You fuckin tell him, Henri! Yeah lay down those boundaries!!!! I love this kid your honor can I adopt him.

OH GODDAMMIT.

Man Henri's got such good business chops. Its from all the independent contract hits he's been doing.

BOUNDARIES, Moses! Mon dieu.

I just get hella queer-coded vibes from Henri all the time, and this is no exception, I just can't pin him down. Is he, too, a chaos secret bisexual? Or something else? I don't know.

Damn, you hit him right in his self-consciousness, Moses.

A good, strong French name I know he's not French let me have this.

"How goes your mission to win support from France?"

"....oh nooooooo I thought that was your job"

Don't be modest, they're celebrating the chance to get at your yankee doodle and you fucking know it.

I am just diggin' the townsfolk's style rn.

Benji you fucking knew this.

*flashbacks to 2020*

She's either screaming internally, or completely oblivious here.

Oh my got put your mask on Abigail

"Boy when the fuck did you learn the minuet."

"Hah! That's silly! *furiously taking mental notes for... later... reasons*"