#Too much to ask I think bc the class is not small and we're all at different levels

[mangle-my-mind]

another waacking class today, and this one left me feeling kinda meh. I feel a little invisible in class, bc I rarely receive any kind of notes or comments from the teacher. And I totally get it, bc there are people in the class with much less dance experience than me (some with none at all), so they should be getting more attention. I'm not struggling as much as others in terms of picking up technique, but I know that I'm not actually doing that well, especially when it comes to performance/punking/musicality. It feels a little selfish to say this, but the fact that I get no individual comments, positive or negative, is just a bummer.

[sukunasweetheart]

I have a idea‼️mutual pining and miscommunications with sukuna: Reader having huge crush on sukuna but she thinks he has a thing with uraume so she kind of gives up but it turns out sukuna likes her too

Reader is close childhood friends with yuji so she usually hears about sukuna and uraume going places from yuji. Imagine reader asking yuji if sukunas going to prom and yuji tells her that he's probably going with uraume!!! So readers gets all sad and gives up, so she spends the rest of the year focusing on herself

Timeskip a year later they're all in college and they get paired together on a assignment. And reader ends up telling him that she had a big crush on him in highschool but since he was dating uraume she gave up. And sukunas just sitting there like "wtf are you talking about😧🤨⁉️"(he still has a fat crush on her so he's shocked) and he doesn't let her leave until she understands that he liked HER the whole time. So they both just sit there mad asf that they could have started dating a long time ago. (and sukuna mad at yuji for making reader think he was dating anyone)

This ending is almost as bad as the last one sorry🙏

OMG!!! i adore this tension so much..... the awkward, teenage love that never gets resolved bc of uncertainty from both parties.... and you focusing on yourself probably got him misunderstanding that you had no interest in him, and he'd probably been wondering why you felt so distant all of a sudden, but had no courage to ask why...

and how neither you or sukuna would've been so open about your crushes on each other so nobody else would've known :( and you would've easily missed sukuna's cues that he liked you bc youre too preoccupied with ur own feelings to notice </3 the same for him as well

misunderstanding that he was with uraume, you probably would've shut down anytime he tried to approach you, which discouraged him more- and you know sukuna's not the type to pathetically cling to someone who clearly "doesn't like him", so he leaves you be, lingering around bc though you dont seem to like him back, he can't get rid of his own feelings still, and wants to at least see you from afar

neither of you know whether to be happy or not about being partnered up for a uni assignment... and then you impulsively, and jokingly talk about how you used to have a crush on him bc you want to try and let go of the past now, only for him to turn to you with wide eyes and say that he felt the same since highschool??

"i don't have that kind of relationship with uraume--"

"but- but- yuuji said-"

"FUCK what that brat told you! i liked- i like you! this must be a joke..."

such a conversation probably draws the attention of a few classmates. curious eyes land on the scene and you feel embarrassed, happy and confused all at the same time.

"the fuck are you guys looking at? piss off."

the professor notices the small commotion and tells all of you to quieten down.

class then continues and while you're facing the front, sukuna puts his hand over yours and whispers "we're talking again after class."

then after things are settled, sukuna probably dashes over to yuuji to throttle him or something, due to being the main cause of the misunderstanding (poor yuuji)

he probably gets uraume to convince you that their relationship isnt what you think it is at all, which still feels a little jarring for you, especially after you've been believing it for a while now...

but, it's college, and you're all still pretty young! it's late but not too late. you start dating sukuna immediately, and as if to make up for lost time, the relationship develops with ease. happy end!

[waechan]

hi~ I loved your nct dream small moments (the maknae line is def my fave but alsksksk all of them are cute!) so my request (it could be a blurb or a drabble) is this: meeting nct dream for the first time (as strangers, coworkers, idols, classmate?) 🥹 it's okay if you can't get to it asap^^

hi! first off tysm for reading my work, i'm so glad you enjoy it! and second, ty for your request bc this idea is adorable so im making little drabbles for each member separately. first is mark:)

⁀➷

pairing: mark lee x reader

genre: fluff

wc: 1.1k

meeting mark for the first time (classmates)

he seemed cool.

everyone loved him. he was popular for being a genuine, kind soul. you had never understood what the hype was about him. you guess, sure, he was cute, sure, he was kind. but whatever, right? you two were classmates, and shared a couple of classes together. you were both unsure of what your major was, so it was quite funny how the two of you somehow ended up taking the same random classes.

at the moment, your class was at the aquarium on a trip for marine biology. it was a fun class, and on the plus side, you got to learn about animals and stuff so that was pretty cool.

"circle up guys!" your professor, mr. johnson, calls out. you walk with your friend yeri towards him, staying close together, just in case he would try to split the two of you. "alright, we're taking a break from some serious learning today, and we're just gonna soak in the beauty of the ocean and its wildlife." little drabbles of conversations and mumbles start to form, but then mr. johnson puts his hands out.

"now, before you guys get too excited, i do have a scavenger hunt for you all, so don't get too excited!"

you give yeri a look and shrug a bit. "could be worse." she says. "i will number you off into groups!" mr. johnson says as he starts to scramble around, and immediately starts counting people off. "you were saying?" you deadpan as you look at yeri and the two of you roll your eyes at the exact same time, smirking a bit in amusement. of course, the two of you end up getting separated and you go to find your group, but you can't find the one with your number. "uh, mr. johnson?" you call out as you raise your hand up tentatively, and he walks right on over to you. "yes, what is it y/n?" he says distracted, not really listening as he looks around, checking to make sure everything is in order. "um, i don't have a group? can't find my number." you exclaim as you shrug. it didn't really bother you, you could just go with yeri.

he scans the area as he purses his lips, as if searching for a group to put you in. come on y/n, take your chance.

"uh- it's okay! i can just go with yeri-" you don't get to say much as he cuts you off before you can continue, and smiles wide as he starts speaking to another student who starts to walk your way.

"how about you go in his group?" he suggests, not really giving you a choice as he shoves you towards the unknown figure of a person who is now next to you.

"who's-" you turn around.

"oh, hey." he says, waving a bit awkwardly.

...

great.

just wonderful.

"y/n, meet mark. mark, meet y/n. now the two of you have fun." he gives you both a pat on the shoulder and immediately walks off, shoving a clipboard with a list in your hands. you wince as you force yourself to look up and acknowledge the boy in front of you.

okay, cool.

scavenger hunt with THE mark lee? no big deal, stay calm. calm.

"so i guess we're partnered together?" he asks as he runs his hand through his hair, doing that squint thing with his eyes he always does when he's thinking. damn. you kinda get it now. "yeah, um. i'm y/n, but you already know that, cause. well."

just stop talking.

"OKAY! let's go look for the first item. or fish, or whatever." you say as you start walking off without him, and you hear him follow you. "okay, yeah, alright. i guess." he mumbles, as he trails behind. on the way to the section of the aquarium you have been directed towards, you sneak a look back, just to make sure he was still following you. and he was, but... you had never seen anyone look at something with such admiration in ones eyes before. he was standing there, frozen, as he stopped by one of the glass windows that displayed the fish behind them. your heart stops for a second as he turns around and your eyes meet. he smiles. at you.

"i think i found it."

you walk over to him, forcing yourself to snap out of your gaze as you stop, standing next to him, and you look at the fish. it was something you had never seen before, a gorgeous coral and white color.

"woah." you whisper, and he chuckles.

"i know."

"it's beautiful." you say softly as you grab your phone to take a picture of the fish. "who knew this class could be cool?"

"i know." he repeats, gently, as he turns his line of vision towards you and he stares at you for a couple of seconds, the corner of his mouth tilting up in amusement at your reaction. "maybe this will get you to stay awake in class?" he whispers this into your ear, then pats your shoulder as he starts to walk away, eyes sparkling.

your jaw drops open almost immediately, and you blush a bit in embarrassment as you go to catch up to him. "hey!" you call out as you walk quickly to go and catch up with him. "you know those rants that mr. johnson goes on, he's always rambling on and on about his new home renovation that he's getting, and his new date that he has each week. oh, and his new diet that doesn't ever work out for him! i don't get how you could find that interesting-" mark chuckles a bit as he shrugs with his hands in his pockets. "i don't know about you, but i love to hear about mr. johnson's love life. and the diets." he stops walking, and you do as well, crossing your arms as you look up at him. all of a sudden, he leans forward and bends down so his eye level is at yours.

the air inside your lungs and the words you are about to say back to him disappear instantly.

the quietness of the room is deafening, and you swear you hear the sound of your heart beating in your chest.

"it's alright, y/n." he looks back and forth between your eyes. "i'm sure he forgives you." he says quietly, before he ruffles your hair and walks off once again without you. you stand there, still. your heart, still racing.

you stand there for a couple seconds until he turns around, tilting his head at you as he smirks in success. "you coming?"

⁀➷

lmk what u think! my first drabble<3

[doukeshi-kun]

a promise is a promise

daddy's home 😘

🌃-anon here ^^ hooray!!

okay okay phew it's been so long i forgot how to write anon ask but, a comeback is desperately needed to save the day. I'm here to talk about professor!nikolai agenda. your girl started uni and i need to cope.

while collegestudent!nikolai has been eating my brain like crazy, professor!nikolai is as needed. i might hit you up with college student nikolai someday tho cuz my classmates are all weird and i need that daily dose of delusion that someday, i'll meet a student as awesome and as fun as nikolai is in my head

little disclaimer to anyone reading this: dark content ahead. we dont do any of that irl it's just fiction, so if you're sensitive to prof x student shit keep scrolling. i say reader is 20-ish and papi nikolai is pushing 30 😁

random prof!nikolai headcanons ahead 🗣️

prof kolya is definitely one of the cool teachers on campus yk? the type that's loved by all of the students because of how laid back he is and how much he doesn't give a shit yk??? like "prof we didn't study for the test tomorrow can we postpone it?" "we will. i havent put the text either" 💀 that type you know?

BUT simultaneously, he can also be really strict depending on the context yk? while he's chill, he can't tolerate disrespect like, not at all. he jokes around with his students but with limits and boundaries.

clothes-wise i feel like he dresses super well 🤔 as opposed to headcanons I've seen, i dont think he dresses weird or in an eccentric way like canon nikolai is, he wears casual clothes :3 fashionable? yes. but nothing weird. he's tall, broad with really unique features (i imagine nikolai with one of them typical european noses and plump looking lips. this part is totally up to you tho)

prof kolya was a really unproblematic physics professor (yk in canon he has teleportation abilities so uh) that is until y/n took a course with him,

we're met with two cases: y/n is calm and quiet in class, y/n puts herself out there. now let's be for real, teachers love good students so the higher the grades the better the sex more you'll get attention from him (god imagine nikolai praising you😮‍💨)

now if you're quiet- OMG since he gets along well with students i feel like he'll openly joke around with students except for you (if you're quiet) he'll just talk with you in a low voice (btw i imagine classes like, small classes not amphitheaters or any of that) let me elaborate: you're in class yk he's explaining quantum physics or some shit and occasionally interacting with his students. his gaze falls on you once he's standing right in front of your desk and lets a small question slide like "is it ok?" "do you get it?" or flashing you a small smile or so 🤭 he's not mocking you or anything he's being genuine (for once) bc you're openly his favorite

and by that, and as someone who's a favorite for nearly all my professors so far the privileges i get isnt anything like grades or whatever but more like validation? im a good student i dont need their crusty dusty extra credits. one of the privileges i get is for example, during exams, the prof tells me "so, [name], we're scoring an A+ in this test too?" yk and it's genuine so nikolai i that type too.

(i leave anything sexual or suggestive for you to develop bc im really bad and awkward at that)

conclusion: he shamelessly favorites you in front of other students.

though you two would become a thing faster if reader is on the more loud type in his class: always participating, asking questions, joking around maybe.... i feel like when you have a question thats a little long to explain, he'd ask u to come to his office and what happens there is up to your imagination dear bean

will quickly become your number one emotional support throughout college 🥱 imagine not doing well in the exam and you go to his office to talk to him about it and he comforts you by [redacted]

anyways i could go on and ramble forever. i'd love to hear your dirty thoughts on this nikolai au :3 what i wrote is hella long and messy but we're mere disciples beanie, you're the writer here hehe

as usual, have a good/day night!!

I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH *sloppily kissing slop slop*

first of all, yeeee goodluck with college and don't die bcs i almost did 😎👉 and secondly, no let's NOT get nikolai pushing 30s. HE IS 35 ATLEAST IDC HAHAHA im gonna reply to each one headcanon bcs you deserve it girlie 💋✨

yes! he totally gives me the vibe to be laid-back at his work. he's so gonna do something like that lmao. also, despite his laid-back persona and he's always like “ehh~ just answer this easy ass quiz and i'll take it as your assignment mark”, i do think he does his job greatly. there's a time where he needs to get things done and while it doesn't seem like he's doing shit, he actually GETS. SHIT. DONE. that's why he isn't fucking fired 💀

strict prof. nikolai.... ugh *spreads legs*😝 i agree. he does have limit and i feel like he wouldn't scold people or raise his voice but certainly when he's being colder and quieter, oooh you fucked up big time

i do think he wears classic style to go to classes! i'm thinking... dark academia. and yes, he's tall and broad and so big✨ i feel like it also depends on the subject. if prof nikolai is teaching theatre or drama... those kind of things, he will wear something maximalist, if that makes sense? imagine a mad hatter-themed suit but formal. unfortunately, i can't draw for life.

physics professor hmmmm why don't he come here and expand the space of my quantum pussy😏😏

i can imagine raaaaaaa :barkbarkbark: him praising you in front of the whole class because you got quite high marks for physics ahakss😝

HMMMMMMM SOFTY :feral: i can't fucking breathe😩 yes he'd totally be loud to those who are loud with him but if you're quiet and serene, he'll be soft as fuck rrrrrrrrr imagine him noticing you not understanding something and he takes the initiative to come to your desk, teach you with the softest (yet deep) voice ever. NOT MOCKING ME TOO? woah what a green flag 💚

lmfao i can totally relate with you😭 honestly, validation is too pressuring, stressing and overwhelming for me. i hate when teachers are like “so, elie, you can score A for this right?” bih i just barely got the B-grade fym (burnt-out gifted kid be like;). anyway, i'm half-half on this. but i do think if he makes such comments, and he notices you aren't uncomfortable, he wouldn't go put his way to directly say that. maybe he just makes comment that implies he does have certain expectations on you

(i'll develop the sexual things myself *takes off his pants and develop his wood*)

conclusion: he becomes my favourite subject😝❤️

i'm honestly thinking that he prefers it if you are an active student. idk, for me, nikolai (in general) likes challenges and fun. so if you're actively questioning this or that, he'd take interest in you really quick. also, i will invite myself into his office tyvm

definitely get emotional. lmao imagine ranting about other professors with him and he just supports you

well my dirty thought is that he becomes my private tutor. HA HOW BOUT THAT HUHHH but in all honesty, i love the thought of him riling and teasing you instead of yk, playing favourite and get you alone in his office. he likes edging people and he'd surely likes it if you tease him back too ayy papi😝

[starseungs]

➳ one, two, fall for you. hjs (teaser)

• pairing: han jisung x fem!reader

you'd think that as the secretary of your highschool's student council, the ones in charge of this year's prom, that you would have already had a date for the event way before even announcing the information to the rest of the student body. and you did—just last minute after a very sponteneous decision.

• genre: fluff, humor (romcom), highschool au, student council au, prom season au, friends to lovers — teaser: 1.7k words / actual fic: around 10k+ words

• general warnings: cursing, y/n and jisung has this love-hate relationship as friends and just overall banter, prom season stress (bcs thats a thing)

• note: here's a teaser for my upcoming jisung fic! theres no set release date yet since its not really close to finishing, but i will open the taglist for this if anyone is interested <3 hopefully i get it out next week or so. (also happy birthday to my wife dahlia @comet-falls 🎉 this teaser is for you luv)

ⓒ written by starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

The continuous footsteps you've become accustomed to for the past few minutes suddenly ceased, bringing a deafening silence to your ears, which echoed throughout the entire desolated hallway. You took a sharp breath at the situation, already dreading the outburst that you had expected would come in three, two, one—

"What do you mean you don't have a prom date yet?" Chaeryeong screeched in disbelief, her hold on the plastic bottle filled with water tightening at your admittance. "You can't go without one! We're literally the first ones to know what's going on with the event; how have you not prepared to ask someone in advance?"

You kept your silence as you watched your friend stand frozen like a statue. Her eyes were opened wide and locked on you as if searching for a valid reason for your small (at least, you would like to think it was small) mistake. It almost creeped you out—her stance was a bit too robotic for your comfort. After giving it a few more seconds, you finally released a heavy sigh, opting to turn your back on her and open the student council room. Chaeryeong rushed to also get in, all the while whining at you for answers to her dilemma. Why it was hers and not yours, you'd rather not think about.

"Yes, yes. I already know what you're going to say," you groaned at her rapid-fire ranting—the speed almost rivaling the council's third-year male representative, Seo Changbin,'s talent for rapping. "It's bad, it's shit, and everything in between," you chanted like it was the Powerpuff Girls formula. Except it was your very own recipe for despair.

"It's required though?" A new voice entered your conversation. You snapped your head towards the sound of the comment only to find the recently mentioned third year sitting oh-so-comfortably at the couches, bulky headphones hanging around his neck as he set his laptop aside. "By the way, sick flow, Chae."

You found your tongue clicking on its own accord due to his unwelcome reminder. Exactly why was having a date to prom mandatory in the first place? Sure, it was already explained during homeroom class that the dance performance was to be graded for PE class, but couldn't you just randomly pick someone from the crowd when the dance occurs? If only you could complain, but it wasn't like the council was the one who mandated it anyway. The board did—all you guys were tasked with doing was making it happen. You were well aware that Chaeryeong was already going with Felix and that Changbin was a third-year student who was only going to be present because of council duties. Granted, you actually could ask him—there wasn't a rule that said first and second years couldn't bring a third-year as a date; however, the pressure of graduating was looming over them, and the school very much preferred that they just focus on studying. And so you made up your mind.

"You know what, if I really need one so bad, then consider it done," you proclaimed while sinking down on the couch, facing away from the room entrance.

"The next person to walk through that door will become my date for prom."

Chaeryeong rolled her eyes at your determined look. "What if they already have a date, huh?" She pointed out, making you deflate immediately.

This is stupid, you cried inside of your head. There was absolutely no way you were the only one left in the council without a date, right? Now what would you do if you were—go beg a classmate or something? How humiliating. Also very hypocritical of you; what if the next person was one of the two other third-years in the council? You had just made a fuss about not asking Changbin because of it, then how could you even ask Chan or Minho?

You'd think that as the secretary of your highschool's student council, the ones in charge of this year's prom, that you would have already had a date for the event way before even announcing the information to the rest of the student body. And yet here you were, on the verge of having a melt down at the mere thought of losing graded marks just because you were what they considered "bitchless". You could only pray to whatever deity is above that the next person to walk in those doors would actually accept your proposal, even if you had nothing grand planned.

So when the three of you heard the faint click which signalled that someone was about to enter the room, you threw your pride aside for now and wasted no more time. Whatever happens, happens—you tried to convince yourself.

"Hey," you called out loud without shame, not even bothering to properly check who it was. After all, it would be useless in the end if they refused. Be bold. Be confident. Be shameless— "Be my date for prom."

"Oh, sure."

You spluttered ungracefully—quickly opening your eyes (which you don't even remember closing) to see exactly which lunatic nonchalantly accepted your invite without an ounce of hesitation or thought. A pop of bright red was the first thing you noticed, the color coming from headphones that sat around the person's neck—a noticeable contrast to the fit white male's uniform top he wore. All of which were details that immediately pointed to one person in the student council.

"Yo, Jisung," Changbin greeted the male, one hand motioning for him to come closer. "I made a new track, mind listening to it?"

Han Jisung.

The council's second-year male representative, who acted more like an assistant communications head because his spiels were always the better ones. Felix, the actual comms head, loves him so much that he's even earned a spot in their division's group chat as an honorary member. Then again, who doesn't like Han Jisung? Everyone in this school and their mother knew of him—a testament to his sheer popularity. No wonder he won by a landslide during the council elections, not even giving his competitors a single vote, setting a new record. If you were asked, Han Jisung to all of you was a star, and you having to create a whole introduction to his entrance should have already spoken for itself.

Your mouth fell open in absolute shock, something Jisung picked up on and rolled his eyes at your reaction. "Close your mouth. Flies are going to get in it."

Oh so he's serious serious? You can't believe it—the Han Jisung himself doesn't have a date yet? Sure, he's no Hyunjin level in terms of popularity in your campus (that guy is royalty around here), but he still had a swarm of, relatively respectful, fangirls who were most likely very much willing to be his partner for prom. So what the hell even happened? It's not like he lost his ridiculous populariry overnight—there was just no way you'd believe that he didn't get a single proposal.

"Hold on, you don't have a prom date yet?" You asked in a somewhat dazed manner, still trying to wrap your head over the turn of events. "You, of all people?"

Jisung scoffs in absolute offense at your seemingly mocking words. "Obviously not," he grumbles like a small gremlin (to which he is in your eyes.) "Why else would I agree? Are you going to make fun of me now?"

You shook your head unsurely. "No, it's just," you exhale heavily, "Just shocking." He gapes at your response.

"What am I to you? A playboy?"

"Something along those lines," you admitted. Not to that extent, of course, but not too far off either. Jisung was a pretty friendly guy—so much that it comes across as suspicious at times. A normal highschool student wouldn't have a fandom for no reason. Most of them being people Jisung showed more than an ounce of kindness and sort of just fallen for the guy. Something you couldn't, and would never relate to, because as someone who knew him beyond formalities (like the rest of the main council), he was simply just Han Jisung. The annoyingly charming brat who seems to be good at everything you throw at him to the point you want to make it a challenge to see him fail once in your life.

Someday, you dreamily wish.

"I'm literally not!" Jisung exclaims, rattled by the revelation. He tries to meet the others eyes to look for their opinion, only to find the other two present members avoiding his gaze. Jisung gasps dramatically. "Do all of you think that?"

"I mean you are pretty popular, Ji. Not in a playboy kind of way, but it won't be too far off," Chaeryeong mumbled lowly, not wanting to feed the fire even more. However Jisung being Jisung melts into the couch with a hard expression.

"Unbelievable. How am I only hearing this now? No wonder I haven't gotten anyone asking to be my prom date!"

Your expression sours at his statement. "Mildly disturbed that the only thing you got from that is the prom part, and not the fact that you're one step away from having a playboy reputation," you sneered in jest.

"Duh? That's because it isn't true?" Jisung brushes off your semi-frozen icicles for words. Glancing at you from the side for a moment, he dares to add: "Besides, you're my date now. So it's no use."

Fuck Han Jisung lives, you repeat ten times in your head. The guy deserves no rights. He's so bitchy for what? And yet you couldn't entirely hate him because at the end of the day, the bastard was (unfortunately) your friend. "Should I be offended?"

"I don't know," he teasingly smirks at you, making your face heat up in annoyance. "Should you be?"

"One day I'll rip that cheeky smile off your face."

"Kindly refrain from using such threatening words in the council room, Y/N," A familiar voice startled everyone—all of which slowly turned towards the door, only to see an exhausted looking Chan, most likely regretting ever running for student council president. "But anyway—what's up guys?"

"Eat shit."

"Jisung!"

You could only watch a single leaf fall from the browning tree outside through the window as chaos ensued once again in the ever so lively student council room.

mastertag 🏷️ | @lhskokoro @starzzns @bookishcalls @comet-falls

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyy tell me about your selfship lore with dazai pretty please

CARINAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ABT US ANGEL I LOVE HIM SM:(((((

okok so i had a chance to brainstorm a little with a friend the other day and now i'm gonna tell you all about it hehehehe:3333 also uhh.. i think this might get long so i apologize for that lmao

mizai takes place in a cute little university au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dazai is majoring in literature (he's so pretentious i love him so bad) and i am an art major!!!!!!! this is how i get to live out my silly dreams okay lmao so i'm thinking about studying pottery or something!!!!!!!!!

and and and since the they're all so very important to me i also need to tell you that chuuya is also an art major, he's doing classical painting (but he takes some pottery classes with me and that's how we met:333). kunikida is ofc gonna be a teacher, so he's studying education aaaaaaaaaaand fedya is... a psychology major. i'm scared of him a little i won't even lie.

AAAAANYWAYYY MIZAII:333 he pretty much just lives at my place; he does have an apartment but it's super small and he just.. doesn't like it there. so he has his own key and he's free to come and go whenever he wants!!!!!!! when i say 'go' i'm actually lying bc he really is just always at my place,, like i come home and he's there. i wake up and he's there. i go to take a piss and then come out only to be met with him laying on my couch. he's weird like that i love him sm.

i also have a cat!!!!!!!!! well i mean my irl cat is just canon in the mizai world hehehee and ooooooooh my god dazai loves him so much. and shrimp really fucking likes him too (so much so that i get jealous sometimes.. ) my cat is very talkative and so is dazai so there's just constant meowing going on. and well sadly, i am no better okay i am a meower too......................... we have a proper fucking cat choir going on smh i wonder if the neighbors hate us...................

though we're both big talkers, one of our favourite things to do is literally just parallel play. he's laid out on my bed like the princess that he is with his newest book while i sit behind my desk, typing away at whatever it is that i'm writing at the moment and it's just sooo so comfortable. and then after we decide that we've been productive enough we always go to the little cafe that we both love and then go to chuuya's just to bother him a bit (he loves us) >:333333333

whenever we're out taking the bus or the train, we're sitting shoulder to shoulder while sharing earphones!!!!!!!!! he rests his head against mine and fidgets with my fingers while i choose the music<333333

oh and neither of us can sleep alone btw. we both struggle with sleep all around but it's not that bad when we're together. it's like thing apparently too you know? that like you get sleepy when you're around a person you really feel safe with? so yeah... we take a lot of naps together it's kind of like a shared love language of ours!!!!!!

OMFG WAIT I ALSO NEED TO ADD THAT UHH ODA IS HERE TOO. HE'S DAZAI'S FAVOURITE PROFESSOR. AAAAAAAAAAAAA oda loves him sm... he loves hearing all of dazai's ideas and his takes and they talk after the lectures all the time too. they actually even go to grab a coffee every now and then. dazai just really really loves talking to him and sometimes (read: every time) he comes home after seeing him, he's sooo happy:((( he has the biggest smile on my face as he just plops down on top of me and starts retelling everything they talked about with oda:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( AAAAAAAHHH CARINAA I LOVE HIM SOOO SO BADDDDD I'M GONNA DIEEEEE

he once kinda dragged me into one of oda's classes too and i was so scared that he'll throw me out bc well.. i'm not supposed to be there but then he was just checking who's there and who's not and his eyes met mine before moving to dazai's twinkling ones and he just smiled and let me be there anyway. (he would literally never throw me out)(btw i fear that.. dazai... yaps about me to him too.............. )

BUT WAHH OKAY OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP HERE BEFORE I ACTUALLY EXPLODEEEE I LOVE TAKING HIM TO STUDY DATES AT THE CAFE AND I LOVE TAKING HIM TO ARCADE DATES AND I LOVE LISTENING HIM TALK AND I LOVE WATCHING HIM CUDDLE WITH SHRIMP (MY CAT:33) AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WAHHH THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME ON THIS CARINA MY ANGEL<333333 it means a lot a lot a lot hehehehe MWAH MWAH MWAHH I LOVE YOU SM!!!!!!!!

[uncloseted]

do you have any tips on how to deal with post work need for playtime 😭 i work with kids as a tutor as a full time job while i’m in Uni and i love it but its takes a toll since im constantly interacting and always have to be thinking and present during my sessions that when i come home, i have no energy or desire or motivation to do my own schoolwork or studying. i just lay down and scroll or hang out with my friends bc im so drained of dopamine from work, I want to lock in with uni and the gym but after working all day, i just want to play around or i just want to turn my brain off and scroll and sleep 😭 how i can find more energy and feel less tired/dopamine seeking after work? :)

Anonymous asked:

any tips on how to have more energy? i work and have uni so when i come home all i want to do is rot and have no energy to workout or do hw or even hobbies, i either want to rot or hangout with my friends bc im so dopamine starved or too tired to do productive stuff

Okay so the first thing that I want to say here is you may just be expecting too much of yourself. Being a full-time student plus working full-time is 80 hours of work a week. I think it makes a lot of sense that after that, all you want to do when you get home is to turn your brain off. Plus, there's not a ton of good research on this, but from what I could find, people feel their best when they have around 4-5 hours of downtime per day. If your brain doesn't get the chance to recharge, adding anything extra to your schedule will be really difficult. I say all of this just as something to consider. I know we live in a world where relaxing can feel like we're wasting our time and that we should be productive every hour of the day, but that's just not a sustainable way to live. If you can, it may be worth looking into whether you can reduce the number of hours you're working or reduce the number of classes you're taking to give yourself a little more free time. If that's not possible, try to cut yourself some slack. What you're doing right now is hard, and it's okay if you don't have the bandwidth right now to add more things to your life.

All that said, there are a few things you can try in order to make the most out of the free time you do have. The first thing I would suggest is trying to carve out time throughout your day to do the things you want to do instead of waiting for the end of the day. Maybe when you wake up in the morning, you read a book or journal for 15 minutes and then have a 5 minute exercise routine, so that even if you don't get anything done after work, you've still done something for yourself. Maybe you do squats while you're brushing your teeth or push-ups while you wait for your toast in the morning. Maybe you take five minutes of your lunch break to do deep breathing or a quick meditation practice. Grabbing little moments throughout your day can help you to feel like you're taking care of yourself, and they really do add up over time.

For after work, what I would suggest is starting small. Maybe you tell yourself that you'll do just ten minutes of studying or just fifteen minutes of exercise or just twenty minutes of a hobby before you start scrolling. A lot of the time, when we get over the initial hump of starting a task, it becomes much easier to keep going on it. And even if you don't, ten or fifteen or twenty minutes of doing something every day is better than doing nothing at all. As you start doing things after work, you'll start building up more mental stamina, and it will become easier to do them over time. For these tasks, I would also try to make them as easy to do as possible, and I would try to make scrolling as hard as possible. For example, maybe you make sure that your homework is on the table or your gym shoes are out or that all of the items you need for your hobby are within reach and you block social media apps on your phone for an hour after work.

The last thing I'll say is that when it comes to schoolwork, it may be a good idea to work smarter rather than harder. For example, NotebookLM can take your class notes, readings, and other documents and give you summaries, answer questions for you, and even generate a podcast of your notes to make the content easier and more engaging. Tools like NotebookLM can make it easier for you to study while on the go (like walking/driving to uni and to work), and can shorten the time you need for studying.

[femmesandhoney]

If it's not too intrusive can I ask how you deal w your pmdd ?

I dont have it but my PMS is fucking brutal I was depressed fucking felt like paralyzed in bed due to anxiety, didnt go to classes,then like a few days later i got my period and then everything made sense.

But i just cant like lose a week of my life like this every month. How do you deal with it?

i went on birth control for it but got off of it after a year bc i decided i disliked the effects of birth control, but that did help my symptoms tons and i wouldn't lie to anyone who wanted to go on it bc it did help me, i made a choice to get off of it unrelated to my pmdd.

managing symptoms can be difficult, often my first "response" is to recognize when my emotions are being affected by my pmdd. usually i can tell pretty quickly bc one day i'll walk up and everything makes me rage at the drop of a hat and then get very sad or agitated just as quick, my emotional regulation just being absolutely dogshit to concern anyone around me if they happen to be on the receiving end of my aggression or if they could jump inside my head and see how it was playing out. after so many years knowing i have pmdd, im able to recognize how a lot of that emotional instability isn't "me" and that im being affected by an "outside" force (oncoming period and hormones dropping). i usually do my best to stay mindful of my reactions then and try and do stuff that calms me down and gets my mind away from what had ruptured my emotional state. usually this occurs right in the morning when i get up, so its a fairly quick light bulb moment for me.

and im definitely used to like a shit ton of negative self talk that over the years ive gotten a better hand on, so when those real lows come around, im much better at talking myself out of those low states, but my pmdd doesn't manifest as strongly or too long with huge depressive states. usually, i just try to find other things to distract me when i feel that low, like chatting with friends, family, watching a movie, going on a walk, eating good food, no matter how small can help shift my mood to a more positive direction. when we're down, our brains are really good at thinking about other sad shit, bc our brain sucks like that, so getting ahead of that curve and trying to intentionally distract yourself with better things can generally help. but again, do not feel bad if that doesn't work for you, bc long depressive states aren't what i normally deal with and my advice is general here.

in terms of anxiety and similar emotions, i feel you deeply there. i manage that similar to how i manage any form of anxiety, which is just to do whatever it is that my anxiety thinks i cannot do, as thats the quickest way to rewrite that pathway in ur brain. it can seem very daunting, but it really does help and you can take baby steps all the while. and usually i end up feeling better after i go to whatever it was i was terrified to go to, which when we're feeling terrible af can sometimes make our day a bit better.

i would also say, sometimes i don't do anything during my pmdd time either bc it really does feel like shit even when ive tried combating it and being mindful of myself, some days really do just suck and i wanna lay in bed and hermit away. i don't think you should beat yourself up about that if some months that happens. its gonna happen again even after we have some successes, pmdd can be very unpredictable and sometimes our environment and our day to day lives just affect it even more and cause some months to be worse than others, and that doesn't mean you're lazy or not trying hard enough or anything like that.

[uriekukistan]

10 but actually i wanna modify it into which jjk characters you could and couldnt be besties with and why :3333333

wait okay this is very interesting to think about thank u for the ask !!

okay characters i 100% would be besties w

shoko - we're smoking ciggies together while i pretend im not in love w her :3

yuuta - he's literally already my best friend what are we talking abt. i just think we'd vibe on so many levels.

kirara - we're dyeing each others hair in the jujutsu tech bathroom. showers are stained bc of us. doing each others makeup. they're convincing me to let them give me a diy piercing

yuuji - he's just so enjoyable. it's literally impossible not to like him. also i feel like while he prefers to go out to do things, he's also down to stay home and chill which is perf

yuki - please take me for a ride on your motorcycle.

choso - he's a sweet guy and someone i'd want to have in my life

inumaki - we're just chillin. parallel play and all that. communicating thru brain waves

nobara - she's a true girl's girl. how could i not be besties w her. she just seems like a good friend to have on your side bc she's loyal and takes no shit

ino - he looks like he has good music taste and a skateboard. and he pets stray cats.

kenjaku - don't ask. we're having a great time being evil together.

characters i could be besties w

megumi - we would totally be besties except we both would prefer to stay in our room so we need a facilitator friend or we would never talk. we're also too similar, so potential opportunity for arguing over stupid shit

utahime - friends but not besties. probably mutual friends bc of shoko but like idk what we'd do to hang out on our own yk?

maki - i think we'd be friends but not besties like i just dont think we'd have enough in common to be besties

gojo - we'd be friends but he has soooo much energy that i think i could only tolerate hanging out in person like. once every two weeks. at the same time he's friends w geto nanami & shoko so maybe he has secret introvert taming skills

miwa - she seems like the kind of person you share a class w and during that class youre friends and make good small talk and roll your eyes at stupid ppl with, but then you don't talk to them outside of class

yaga - i only if he makes me a cursed doll plushie friend, they look cute

nanami - we're getting along fine but we have nothing to talk abt beyond "work sucks" and "can u believe the prices on the convenience store sandwiches"

characters i wouldn't be besties w

geto - love him but i think we would argue for no reason. not in a hateful way but yk. too much to form anything other than mutual respect.

hakari - he's the best friend's boyfriend that ur always bickering w. nothing wrong w him i just dont think our personalities match

todo - please get away from me im so sorry like ig he's fine but like the chad energy is overwhelming

noritoshi kamo - this doesnt even have to do w the fact that he ran away from the fight mostly but more abt how he gives the vibe that he would disapprove of everything i do.

characters im actively beefing w

mei mei - i dont fw pedo freaks

naoya zen'in - i dont fw misogynists

sukuna - die.

[bullshit-bulltrue]

Hawk Talk

Okay so sorry if this is a little jumpy I'm having a so far two-day long anxiety attack anyway-

We got assigned seating in history and i got sat next to the biggest cunt wad i have ever met i fucking despise her and she's my desk partner

she was cordial and so was i but she has not fucking changed at all

And the cute boy from years ago is still cute and shy and such a sweetheart but he sits behind me ish and to the very far right

So I can't even look at him anymore without anyone noticing :(

And nyxie darling (@whennyxfallsinlove) was right, i was looking at him like a deer staring at headlights the first day because holy shit i REALLY *REALLY* liked him (still do) because he was one of the only genuine boys I met at the time and I was having a really difficult time and yk hanging out with him helped me out since things were happening in my home life that were difficult to say the least

So then the rest of class went smoothly

For math, there is no cute guys

But thats fine because I really like my teacher and he's taught ways to do math that are so much easier

Not only is he funny, but he also REALLY goes into depth of equations and helps out a lot!!

Sooo yeah

I had a mini heart attack bc after I left class I thought my phone fell outta my pocket but the pockets on my jeans are high (since the jeans are high-waisted duh) so it turns out my butt just didn't recognize the feeling since majority of my jeans don't have wider pocket space

But yeah

Anddd then I went to English class

And if you saw the recent small Hawk Talk posts of me interacting with nyxie, you'd know that there are two boys that are lowkey cute 👀

Idk they're cute by my standards but probably not everyone else's lmao

So I feel like I should call these guys smth??

So umm let's call one of them Baseball guy bc he likes baseball and I also didn't wanna ask his name but when I do, I'll probably make a nickname to refer to when I post about him

And the other we'll call D/Dee ig??

So yeah D was funny as usual

And the baseball guy talked more and lanie, him, and I were going through this box

It was a worry box and my English teacher (we'll call her Mrs. K) basically had a chest and put it at our table to write our worries on an index card and put it in there (anonymously, but some kids put their names so now we have Blackmail™️ . Probs won't need it, but it's good to have information on people)

And like she said that we could NOT under ANY circumstances go through it..

But we did 😘

So yeah that was fun because I didnt get caught

so i'm her favorite student while also being a little shit

🙃

So me and Lanie started following Cute Baseball Boy™️ to his locker because we're nosy bitches

But then I lost lanie so I sat on the floor until i was found like a 7-year-old who lost her mom at the supermarket

Aaand then we had lunch together !!

But then I found out she thought baseball guy is cute too :(

And idk how to feel about that

So I'd anything happens between them I'm gonna be kinda bummed bc I don't want her to get the wrong idea about me thinking he's cute

So im gonna have to find a way to not like him ig??

Or just keep shit to myself (with the intention of telling y'all every little detail)

Gonna je bummed if they start dating or smth but I'll be supportive nonetheless because they're both my friends and if they're happy then that's all that really matters to me

So anyway

Thus guy across from us at lunch was fucking hilarious

His friend kept putting a plate of school food someone forgot to throw away in his face and he let out the most high pitch ear piercing scream I have EVER heard lmaooo

Same bro, same

Felt that

And like I looked at him like wtf was that dude

And his eyes got SO wide

He kept frantically pointing to the girls that were sitting near him and even his friend 💀

So like that was funny

And then we got to gym !!

We didn't get to actually do anything :(

Basically what happened in PE: got gym clothes, got gym lockers (mine and lanie's are next to each other!!), and watched boys get play basketball (D was playing and he wasn't that bad)

Sooo yeah

Ik I said that I went basic white girl mode and watched the boys play

But like half the time I was just taking selfies on snap and scrolling through tumblr memes lmao

But the other half me and lanie were laughing at the boys clothes and haircuts bc they look like they rolled out of bed and asked a 5 year old to make their hair the shape of a fucking broccoli spout or whatever tf you call it

y'all it was that bad

(we also laughed abt that shit at lunch too)

Oh forgot something

While we were all going into the girl's locker room of the gym i thought lanie was right behind me but when i turned around i had to tilt my head up and look around for her head because she's way taller than me and she was at the very back of the crowd

So i went to the side and waited for her to get close to me

And she literally fucking said

L: damn girl i keep losing you, you're really speedy

Me: yeah i'm short but it means i walker faster than you, you're a fucking giant

L: well yeah to YOU. but like i'm tall enough to be your mom

And I lost it. I laughed so hard bc of the way she said it lol

Soo yeah that was the end of my school day

Hope you enjoyed <3

Oh and tagging people that wanted to hear about my day and/or have been reading my Hawk Talk posts (if you dont wanna be tagged lmk and i wont anymore, and lmk if u do wanna be tagged in the full day hawk talk posts!) : @cereal-is-a-soup100percent-true @whennyxfallsinlove @dizzeners @cau-lee-flower215 @sp1rit-realm

[moonchildreads]

and now that we're on it, i was actually thinking about dot and eddie last night. i remembered the first time they meet thanks to hellfire and dot proves eddie's expectations wrong by showing that she's not just a cute and pretty face, but she knows her dnd shit.

now i know that i'm bringing you a bit of an au here but i was wondering how do you think things would have progressed between them if dot hadn't had a background that made her know this stuff? like, everything is the same but james and his friends met for different reasons so she doesn't know much of dnd? how would she and eddie meet and fall in love? or if she'd gone to hellfire without knowing much bc dustin was very nice when he asked her to join their club? how would their story go without that? bc my original theory was "no, dnd is an intrinsic part of their relationship, it's an unskippable part of their story together" but then i entertained the thought and said "ok but what if???"

okay babes buckle up i'm off work now and this is gonna be a wild ride.

full transparency here, i hadn't thought about it before but now that you bring this question to me i realise that i've always known the answer so thank you for that insight into my own story? lmao i love you. anyways, short answer: if dustin hadn't invited dottie to hellfire, they wouldn't have interacted with each other at all. end of story. dot has no desire to buy weed from eddie, and eddie isn't exactly in the business of talking to random girls (he's bitchless, let's be real here). the long answer is, however, much more intriguing which i'm guessing is what you're here for so i'm gonna spill my guts here for you under the cut about what happens if dustin invites her but she doesn't know dnd:

if dustin invites dot and she goes without knowing what dnd is, here's where it gets interesting because you mention that dnd is intrinsic to their relationship but it actually isn't. it's not dnd what brings them together, it's dottie's eagerness.

[...] “Do you want to watch today, see how everything works?” “If you think that’s the best, sure,” she said, and he noticed she looked a little deflated. “Or not. Trial by fire,” he smiled. [...]

in that bit from chapter 3, eddie doesn't know she knows her shit yet. all he knows is that a pretty girl is in front of him, treating him nicely and wanting to learn about something he loves. he doesn't know her, she's a new student he hasn't really paid too much attention to, but he sees that she's nervous and notices that she doesn't seem to have an ulterior motive: she walked in, asked for dustin and didn't realise he was the dungeon master until she saw his supplies on the table. so she's not here for him, she's here for the game. she wants to learn. now, eddie could go about it two different ways: 1) he gatekeeps like he tried to do with erica until she knocked him down a few pegs, or 2) he acts calm and tries to make her feel at ease like he did with chrissy in the woods. i think in this case, knowing what happened after he was friendly with chrissy, he'd go the same route because not only does he explicitly think dottie's enthusiasm is adorable, he's also been proven wrong twice by women he's recently met (erica and chrissy).

and here is where it gets interesting, because now we have dottie recognising that he knows his shit and wanting to learn from him, and we have eddie getting something he normally doesn't, which is someone who doesn't judge. someone who wants to get to know the ins and outs of the very thing that he loves, who doesn't care who he is, or who anyone in hellfire is, she just wants to learn. and we see this time and time again throughout small town, because dottie doesn't know anything about metal music, but she still accepts donny's mixtape and listens to it during the weekend so she can talk to him about it on monday. we see dottie being interested in gareth's background as a jazz drummer, she switches seats to sit with all of them during shared classes after knowing them for one single day. eagerness is all dottie knows, because she's used to molding herself to what everyone else wants her to be in order to have friends. so she asks questions, she learns about things because if she shows interest, then maybe others will show interest in her too. it hasn't worked for her so far, but she's never met anyone like the hellfire boys before.

see, this story doesn't work if both sides aren't equally eager. they are all desperate to fit in somewhere, and the boys have found that they fit into hellfire and with each other. so dottie coming along and not only asking to be let in, but also putting in the work to get to know them feels so special to all of them. here comes this unasumming girl that was deemed so fucking uninteresting that hawkins high forgot she existed two weeks after she transferred and she's actually so goddamn awesome! she comes from the big city! she doesn't care if they are a bit of a weirdo bunch, she's not poisoned by the hawkins rumor mill, and quite frankly, she's a freak herself! she has her own opinions and will voice them, she enjoys high fantasy, loves music, and is kind of a nerd! she's just so desperate for love and the only way she knows how to ask for it, is to throw it to everyone who so much as looks at her, and the boys in hellfire reciprocate so easily because this never happens to them! no one treats them like they are normal but she does! so the way eddie falls in love with her is the same way all of hellfire falls in love with her: she loved them first and kept loving them so hard they had no reason to doubt her.

yeah, she doesn't know how to play dnd. it might be a little bit annoying for a table of experienced players, but eddie takes the outcasts in and dottie has spent the last two months eating lunch alone with her headphones on. they are all the same kind of broken people, searching for someone to look at them and tell them "i see you, because i am you, and i get you". so for eddie to not fall in love with her, no one in hellfire should love her, and that was never going to happen because she showed up with snacks to a club she knew nothing about because a fifteen year old told her it was cool. eddie never stood a chance.

[katbrando]

💪🏻🎶💭 and 📊 if that's what you're asking for *bloosh*

omg UMI BELOVED you didn't have to send anything in 🥺💜 i appreciate you and apologize beforehand bc i'm so wordy

💪 Describe a theme or other element of the original source material that you feel is strengthened or reinforced by the presence of your ship.

this is tough honestly but because it's about the source material i'll go off my s/i instead of modern au 🤔 i think introducing my s/i (and hp) to diego much earlier on in the race offers extra emphasis/insight into his distrust of people, like... there's so much angst and anger between the two of them. he's a prick who has no problem expressing his disgust with the lower class and people in general, meanwhile my s/i is like his total opposite - she's humble to a fault, distrusts the upper class, and could not care less about diego's prestige. the tension between the two is Interesting and they bring out the worst in each other for a good while before they get over themselves and fall in love much later on

🎶 Select a piece of music to relate to your ship. What themes or ideas about your ships does this piece of music share or highlight?

oh GOD... (looking at the entirety of arctic monkeys' discography) oh boy UHHH ACTUALLY i'll ignore that and throw a curve ball: i recently added 'stargazing' by the neighbourhood to my self-ship playlist 🥺 it contains very important elements of dinokat: - cars (pull it out of park, put it in drive / better keep the ac on for me / windows start to fog) our first kiss is in diego's car, we take a lot of road trips, in general a lot of Bonding and intimacy (both emotional and physical) takes place in his car - tension/mutual pining (it's a race against the clock, but we don't wanna watch / might've set the bar a little too high) we're so annoying bc we liked each other for a while and i was too afraid to admit it to both myself and him, he was too afraid to ruin the bond we have bc it's so rare for him to make close connections and he didn't want to lose that - and an eventual sort of.. Sudden admission of feelings (all the patience that i've got, it's not enough to save me / started with a spark, now we're on fire) again, both of us admitted our feelings in his car HFDKS, it happened fast (a little too fast for my liking) and it felt very like !!!!! help, i really like you !!!!! ??? idk if that makes sense, basically it was bubbling up for a while

💭 What arguments would you use to persuade someone to ship the ship you're discussing?

🥺 ummmmm pretty please ship dinokat bc we're cute 🥺 and i rlly like diego a lot 🥺 /hj .. UGH IDK i think we compliment each other, we're total opposites in terms of personality but i don't think that's a bad thing! we have nearly identical interests and a very similar outlook on life. we're silly and goofy and stupid and want to be better people, especially for each other 🥺

📊 Compare and contrast the personalities of the characters in your ship. Describe whether you feel it is their similarities or their differences that define the ship.

the obvious answer is that diego harbors general distaste for people and he's Very self-centered VS me, who's Very self-less and tends to see the good in people. he truly doesn't care about anyone outside of himself and his small circle, while i would drop everything including my own well-being just to help someone, even if i don't really know them. BUT because we're on two opposite ends of the spectrum i think we both view the other's outlook as sort of.. inspiring, i guess. maybe we wouldn't outwardly admit it (bc we're both STUBBORN LOL) but we can take aspects of each other's outlooks and apply it to ourselves. like obviously i don't want to be AS selfish as him but i can realistically see how taking a crumb of that and applying it to myself would greatly improve my life. putting my own well-being above others is something i can definitely use and would benefit from. and maybe diego can learn to be a little more compassionate by watching the way it makes me feel good to care for other people. but also i think our similarities are wonderful :'))) we can agree on aesthetics and music and humor and general opinions on things (outside of the things i mentioned above) and that really makes things so much more fun!!!!

[lover-girl1]

Hey guys I'm gonna be gone for a while bc I'm with this girl Savannah as you guys can tell by my post but yea me and her are getting really serious we're already past the Physical Affection stage and on are way into the more "Mature Affection" stage And I really want to commit my whole life to this girl so I want to work things with her I wanna be there for her more I wanna try new things with her And right now our relationship is Picture perfect we have 5 classes with each other She goes to my soccer games And hockey after school all the time We don't talk on the phone We talk Face-to-face in person like we meet up anytime we want to see each other or just talk to each other the phone isn't an option anymore she's literally the next street over from my house My grades are finally going up because she's helping me understand things I didn't She lets me go through her phone I let her go through mine We have nothing to hide we're always holding hands or just Giving each other physical attention no matter where we are I comfort her she comforts me We don't fight we don't Argue and if I'm really being honest this is the best girlfriend I've ever had in my whole entire life She's been nothing But kind sweet and caring she's honestly an angel sent from heaven just for me She is the best thing That's ever happened to me I love her so much more than anything or anyone i do plan on proposing to her with a Special Darry ring That you could only buy once in your lifetime for only 1 person Once you buy it you can never buy it again ever But we can't get married until we're 18 so for right now if she says yes she will be my fiancé Until we're 18 We both are really into each other We can't go a day without talking to each other And when we do get Separated all we do is whine about each other to our friends She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen it's like she's not real she's a dream she's so pretty She looks like a movie star a model in fact I can't get her out of my head she's the first and last thing I think about every Hour Second and minute of the day I'm such a lucky woman to meet her in this lifetime I promise to give Her my everything We're already planning On having kids And moving away when we get older I want to do all the things we planed and not let her down bc she's The best thing that's ever happened to me Her beauty is unreal it's like she's an angel she's a goddess she's so pretty even the sunrise after a rainy night isn't even pretty to me anymore I could just sit there and stare into her diamond blue eyes For the rest of my time here on earth or should i say the rest of my life her shiny Diamond blue eyes her Silly hyper loveable personality her comforting smile her soft kissable lips her perfect white straight teeth her soft Wavy blonde hair her gentle soft smooth hands her small fragile perfect curvy body no matter how Intecure she is I will always love every part of her she will always be perfect to me in my eyes and noting can ever change that, I love how she can fit into my arms perfectly shes not to big not to small not to tall and not even close to being even too short she's just perfect for me in every way possible she says i swooped her off her feet but i feel like its the other way around i mean i was at the lowest point of my life I basically given up on dating i was too scared to give my love and trust to another person but she picked me up off my feet dusted the pain away and taught me so many new things but most importantly how to love and trust again, what more can i asks for shes perfect shes everything i ever wanted, who said dreams couldn't come true hm? literally I used to dream of dating someone like her but here I am dating a Christian country girl with Diamond eyes and a soft smile that I can't help but cry tears of joy knowing that she's mine nobody else's just mine and mine forever till death draws us apart but anyway farewell Tumblr cya sometime in the future<3333

[anxietywriter]

idk this won't leave my head so i wanted to rant about it bc yeah actually i'm very annoyed. i'm very frustrated. i'm tired of people telling me how i should feel and how it's "different"

it's the way i have little to no close male friends because either we've drifted apart, we never got close for fear of people thinking we're dating, or because we stopped talking when people kept assuming we were fucking dating just because we talked or walked in the halls together. like that's fucking it. my male friend walked with me to class once and immediately i got asked if we were dating tf. it was like one time. it's the way everyone always assumed that my older brother was my fucking boyfriend or some shit just because we'd talk at lunch or enjoy walking together because we're just close like that?? like damn why is the immediate assumption always romantic. it's not like we were even holding hands or shit.

i fucking hate it. i've always fucking hated having to clarify. because to me it's so obvious. and not to be another person who's tired of everything getting turned into an "not everything has to be a to lovers" trope bc i fucking love slash. i love love. and i like unlikely pairings and shit. but that's like. it's fiction. it's also oftentimes not based on "oh a girl and a boy, what shall they do" LIKE COME ON

this is just all because someone said that i clicked so well with their friend, we'd be so cute together, we have so much in common, we hang out, blah blah blah blah. we watched a movie together on my phone blah blah blah, that's a date. it's so cute.

but it's like not for me.

and it's so fucking weird because all that shit came from the same person that was like "oh yeah my parents think me and him are dating but we're not. like damn it's like a guy and girl can't be friends" like hello??? does that not apply to me??

and they're like "oh but it's different"

i have slept in the same bed with a friend. i have stayed up late and watched a movie with a friend on their laptop, thigh to thigh, under the same blanket. i've huddled under a small blanket with my friends for warmth. i've played with my friends' hands. i've called one a pillow princess. i've invited multiple to sit on my lap. it's not at all different. like, if i'm ever pushing a boundary then absolutely i would not do that with them anymore.

oh but it's different. y'know the only thing that was different?

the fact that it was a guy.

fuck. that.

i fucking hate it. i hate everyone fucking looking at me and asking over and over if i like him or if he likes me or if we're in a relationship. like

and then telling me how to feel, like "oh but it's different"

it's really not. not to me. like it's fucked up from my perspective. because i feel like everyone's giving the guy hope. like "oh she's into you" or "oh she 100% has a crush on you" or "she definitely likes you and is hiding it" but i literally feel nothing

i just

i'm a little fed up with it. like in general not just me.

i think it's because no matter what i say or do, my feelings and words will always be twisted into something it's not. like it's weird.

we get along and all but that's it? is that really all it takes??? like. hmm. how do i explain this. i enjoy the common interests and conversations we have right? i enjoy talking about my streams and video games. but they pale in comparison to what i talk about and how i feel with my other friend. like, it just feels. too safe. too basic. right? like, there's no vulnerability, no deep sense of trust.

it just annoys me. because it's just like. if i were aromantic or homoromantic or in a relationship, would their opinion have changed at all? would they have just seen it as friends being friends? because i think it would've.

[i-luvsang]

hi!! sorry for the late ass response, i've been wanting to reply earlier but life has been pretty hectic :(.

personally i love love loveeeee pet names!! like even the super silly ones like 'skrunkly' and 'pookie' i always forget not everyone uses those and most ppl probably find it cringe. it's very endearing in my opinion? pet names and nicknames just feel more personal for some reason?? like recently i've started using my nickname more and most of my friends have started referring to me using my nickname and idk it just makes me so happy :,)

and thank you so so sooooo much for the writing advice <333 the 'asking yourself questions to guide your own thinking' tip is so helpful!! i think when i do an attempt at writing or try to progress an idea i get overwhelmed at how much i still need to think through if that makes sense?? like my concept or idea is so small and i have to think abt a plot, and the progress and just the logistics behind everything?

i've also spend some time on pinterest making boards with like locations for visualisations? idk i'm a very visual person whenever i do an attempt at writing so i kinda needed that and it's actually been so much fun!! i've also had some fun ideas for a playlist regarding certain small ideas, i have a few songs that kind off give the same vibes i want to go for and it kinda helps me visualise and create some sort of scene in my head where the song would work as bg music yk? it makes me excited just thinking abt developing my ideas and actually writing it!

sadly i haven't had any time to start writing yet :(. i have some exciting ideas and in general i've been feeling more excited to actually write instead of feeling like procrastinating the process but i've been so exhausted lately bcs of school so i haven't rlly been in the right mindset to write, like whenever i have free time i just want to rest.

my assignments this year are bigger and more important so i'm trying to actually study this year and procrastinate less. so far i'm proud of myself bcs i spend this weekend actually doing my work and writing down important future deadlines instead of procrastinating and doing everything last minute so!! big win for me!!

enough abt me tho!! how are you?? how is college going? how are your classes going? and also if you don't mind me asking, what are you majoring in?

ps. i'm very excited for your upcoming fics!!! — 🎧

hELLOOOOO no worries at all darling !! i'm glad to here that you love pet names because i love using them hehe. i agree that silly ones are so much fun to use and super cute. yk i've always wished i could have a nickname that my friends call me but it's just never been a thing LOL but i have my online friends who call me nicknames and i love that <333

even if you haven't had the time to start writing yet, i'm super glad to hear that you think my advice is helpful for you !! i wish you the best of luck when you do find some time !! i totally get feeling motivation but not having the time or energy :,) it's like DUDE THE ONE TIME I ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE WRITING I CANTTTTT i've been behind on writing too tbh. i have a collab fic due at the end of the month and i'm only a few hundred words in akfjaksjdf

babe you should be so so proud of yourself, the fact that you've been able to battle procrastination and stuff like that is honestly super impressive and absolutely something you should be proud of, so i'm glad that you are !!!! but even if there are times where procrastination gets the best of you, remember that that's alright too! we're not built to be perfect at this <33

in terms of me! lollll i'm not fighting the procrastination too well myself, but that's alright lol. it's a very mixed bag if i'm very honest lol the adjustment has been pretty hard and i'm feeling a lot of old anxieties come back since i'm so overwhelmed. but! i've still been having a lot of nice experiences with new friends and experiences and i think that once i'm able to settle down i'll be having blast far more than i am now hehe. classes themselves aren't too bad though!! i took a pretty light course load for this semester which i think was a really nice choice for me. and i'm majoring in studio arts !!

askdhfjs i'm very glad you're excited, i am too !!! i hope you'll enjoy what's in storeeee

[mangostarjam]

to be fair to us both, i ALSO forgot about read mores and i use them for writing asdfkjlgkl

omg that's so cute... we're writing letters to each other... like pen pals !! i did save this to reply to for when i got on my computer bc i wanted to be able to yap freely HAHA and now it feels even more like writing a letter

it does make me feel like i'm cosplaying an adult (i am an adult) (legally anyway) when i mention my assistant lmao but it's really just the nature of my job that kinda requires me to have one! waiting for the day he can do things without me supervising and i can devote more brain space to all the things i wanna write for fun

panes con pollo looks SO DELICIOUS WHAT. omg i can't wait for you to learn it and have that in your back pocket! you're sooo lucky she's willing to teach you gah i love when people share recipes like that it's like a love language to me. i just laughed out loud at the image of you grinding up dried fig leaves and your bf like, sleepily rubbing at his eye to make sure he wasn't seeing things in the middle of the night HAHA

YEAAAAAH BUDDY okay honestly you can spell cambodian food however sounds right to you and i will most likely get it and will not be offended LMAO i don't think english letters really gel well with khmer sounds. anyway that sounds so bomb. clay pot pork belly... was it like. kaw sach chrouk? oh but with prahok... hmm... INTERESTING i wanna try that it sounds pretty good! absolutely i will share if i think of anything helpful!! ah but while i have recipes in my head, my family does a lot of freehand instinctive cooking (and i didn't grow up in the kitchen, so i've been sticking to baking (thank you, clear instructions!) until i have the freedom to experiment in my own place) [insert silly family trauma backstory here] but ooh i fucking LOVE samlor kako the pumpkin bits are my favorite! i can't believe i've found someone in the wild who loves prahok HAHA but if it was going to be anyone, it does feel like it would be you with your incredible tastebuds!!

i think we had opposite growing up experiences LOL i could not and would not shut up as a kid and now it's like... you've gotta be in my inner circle if you ever wanna hear my personal thoughts. i can do small talk and coworkers and whatnot just fine but good luck prying anything else out of me unless we are Vibing from the get go. omg though not class president!!! that's so big i'd be nervous as hell too!!

YES SHARE YOUR CANDLES!! i am currently banned from getting more candles but i recently got gifted the honeycrisp apple candle from trader joe's and i'm so basic but it smells SOOO good i'm burning it today bc i did a full bedding-sheets-blankets wash and flipped the mattress and worked out and showered and did a face mask and it's just. dreamy. okay though that nest holiday candle sounds DIVINE?? even if it's the size of a small trash can LMAO and i love that you keep it tied to the holidays!! this isn't a scent thing but now that i no longer work in retail (where holiday music would haunt me), i play n*sync's "home for christmas" album every weekend of december bc that's what i listened to as a kid and it immediately makes me feel like the holidays can be magical again.

oof okay i feel like i'm really yapping a lot right now but i love citrus scents any time of the year, apple and pear for fall, and green tea scents for spring. i'll dig out my candles sometime to give you a proper list haha but overall i don't tend to enjoy the really reaaaally floral scents (i do love jasmine though)!

also can i just say. i am about to go into your ask box to say this again but waking up to your comments and tags on my writing like. made me tear up. made me feel like i should keep sharing my writing if that means people like you will enjoy it!! with so much love in my heart (wow that sounds so corny but it's TRUE) thank you 💕

fuji!! how are you doing on this fine day lovely lady? i'm responding to our thread here bc idk what the etiquette is on reblogging long ass conversations on the same thread lmao so to be safe i'll just send u a new ask.

soupmates is so cute and i love when typos become canon jargon in friendships hehe. you've made me crave croissants again and i am wistfully thinking of how we have a rule that while we're in france, if one of us asks "what time is it?" the other is legally obligated to respond "croissant o'clock" and then we go find a boulangerie. this is how we end up eating 8 croissants/day whenever we're there.

wttcsms is on my deep dive list too!! every time i see them on my dash i'm like how does it feel to never be wrong? ack i've just been so busy that the only time i have to trawl tumblr is during my unhinged insomnia hours when i'm only half aware of what i'm keyboard vomiting lmao NO FILTER only screeching.

okay not mushrooms but this weekend i was busy running around the kitchen experimenting with my lil hoard of fig leaves! i made fig leaf syrup, fig leaf oil, and experimented with dehydrating and freezing the leaves for preservation. i also tested different ratios of toasted fig leaves and pandan in creme brulee and panna cotta so i could see how the flavors bloom in dairy in preparation for the idea i had for my cake. then i gave all the excess treats to baristas at our fave local coffee joints bc i'm not a huge sweet tooth and this was tew much dessert! after i found a ratio i thought worked, i made the cake except i'm afraid it's going to turn out hideous (it's still in its cake ring rn) but it's basically a first draft cake and i can refine it next time! you should see the notes i took on it. i always try to start with a neat plan and end up scribbling all over it with ideas and corrections.

tonight we've invited a couple of our friends over so i can do a fig leaf-inspired dinner with hamachi crudo with fig leaf oil, tomato bisque with fig leaf oil drizzle and crouton, slow roasted salmon in fig leaves (finished with a sear from our bernzomatic + searzall bc crispy salmon skin is life), and the fig leaf and strawberry cake. my friend also got cheesybf a new cocktail set for his bday so we can use the fig leaf syrup to make some nice gin cocktails or a fig leaf strawberry mocktail!

right now i'm munching on leftover crying tiger steak and nam jim jaew for lunch with jasmine rice that i steamed with some of the leftover pandan leaves for extra ~aroma. i still have a ton of leaves so i think i'm gonna make a pandan simple for my favorite matcha pandan lattes.

re: urls haha YES chopsticks are the best way to eat flaming hot cheetos and no one can change my mind. i always think of puffins when i think of my own username. those cute lil round birds. with like a lil cheese hat. i also associate you with apples now as we move into fall. but mentally my picture of you is a swirl of the colors in a kent mango, scented by mango skin by vilhelm and just a hint of kilian's apple brandy on the rocks. maybe a waft of mfk 724 and something like clean cotton or a soft white floral.

HAHAHA totally fair i just realized it was getting long maybe i should put my responses under a read more LOL

i'm responding a day (??) late (time is fake) bc i had to recover from how gorgeous your cake looked and sounded tbh. but i'm good!! my new assistant at work is picking things up quickly and has common sense which is sadly in short supply around here lmaooo

there's a vietnamese bakery in my hometown that makes the BEST croissants i've ever had in my life (though tbf i have not been to paris yet!) and they supply all the local taquerias with bolillo so they are Churning Out Breads but i cannot emphasize enough that it's like. a warehouse space. with a door on a side street and the price list handwritten and they only recently started accepting anything but cash. i love them. the croissants are huge and lightly buttery and delicious. i will now be declaring it's croissant o'clock any time we happen to drive nearby haha

wttcsms and dee my beloveds!!! on behalf of all writers though i will say no filter unhinged screaming comments/tags are GREAT to read. i hope your busyness is the good kind!! it's always lovely seeing you pop up on the dash or inbox or wherever but i hope you're having a good time here >ᴗ<

oh my goddddd your fig leaf experiments... divine. glorious. something about the description of "seeing how the flavors bloom in dairy" is just. dreamy?? you sound like a wizard creating your own magical spell book tome with your scribbles and notes and ideas (saying this in SUCH a complimentary way). crispy salmon skin IS life i just had some last night hehe i had to look up crying tiger steak and nam jim jaew but YOOO this reminds me of duk prahok... yum. and oh my god crying tiger steak is like. a summer staple for us. i never knew it had a NAME. not to over share but my family is from cambodia and i have so many recipes in my brain that i just figured were things my dad created LOL

AND I LOVE PUFFINS!!! in like second grade i did a report/presentation on puffins unprompted unsolicited to my class. i read a book about them and was obsessed i wanted everyone to learn about them (yes i am/was a nerd) (bless my teacher for letting me present lmao). and i do love apple scented things mmm. one of my favorite candles ever is autumn air from elder&co (notes of wild apple and pear and fallen oak leaves). i'm so glad it's getting cloudy and cozy season is coming bc i can light my candles without feeling too silly. do you have any favorite candles?? oh these other scents are SO GOOD. i love that!! brb going to find a way to smell these immediately