#To describe 35 as old enough for 'old age' to be kicking in

[harumeowz]

A fanfic author describing what its like to be 35 has me in tears

(insert canon character here) is aging at 35 years of age. Despite part of their Special Power being sight and they have a crazy good memory they're starting to lose eyesight and hearing and start to be more forgetful like AAYYYYYEEE 35 is the new 45-50 huh

[conradscrime]

Mary Ann Cotton: One of England’s Worst Female Serial Killers

November 26, 2021

Mary Ann Cotton was born on October 31, 1832 to Margaret Longsdale and Michael Robson at Low Moorsley, County Durham. She had a sister named Margaret, born in 1834 but died a few months later and a brother, Robert, who was born in 1835. 

At the age of 8, Mary’s parents moved them to the village of Murton. As a child Mary was described as innocent, with average intelligence and had a very clean and tidy appearance. 

Soon after the family moved to Murton, her father died after falling 150 feet down a mine shaft at Murton colliery in February 1842. The family had been living in a miner’s cottage due to Michael working there, but after his death, Mary’s mother with her children had to be evicted. In 1843, Mary’s mother married a man named George Scott who was also a miner. 

At the age of 16, Mary became a nurse in the village of South Hetton, in the home of Edward Potter, a manager at Murton colliery. Over the next couple years, the children had been sent to boarding school in Darlington, Mary went back to her stepfather’s to train as a dressmaker. 

In 1852, Mary married a colliery labourer named William Mowbray and the couple moved to South West England. While there are rumours that the couple was said to have multiple children who died while living here, none of these deaths were recorded. The only birth that was recorded at this time was their daughter, Margaret Jane, born in 1856. 

William and Mary moved back to North East England where William worked as a fireman, then as a colliery foreman. The couple had another daughter, Isabella, born in 1858. Their first daughter, Margaret Jane, died in 1860. The couple then went on to have another daughter, also named Margaret Jane, born in 1861 and a son, John Robert William, born in 1863, though he died the following year from gastric fever. 

William, Mary’s husband, died in January 1865 from an intestinal disorder. The lives of William and the children had been insured, and Mary collected a payout of £35 on William’s death and £2 5s for the death of her son, John. 

After William died, Mary moved to Seaham Harbour where she met Joseph Nattrass. Around this time, her daughter Margaret Jane (the second one) died of typhus fever. She then went back to Sunderland and got a job at the infirmary, sending her only surviving child, Isabella, to live with her mother. 

She married one of her patients, George Ward on August 28, 1865. Though George was sick, and died on October 20, 1866, after he suffered from paralysis and intestinal problems. The doctor at the time had said that George was very ill, but he had also been surprised at how sudden his death was. Mary Ann Cotton collected the insurance money. 

A man named James Robinson hired Mary as a housekeeper in November 1866. His wife, Hannah, had recently died and the following month, in December, James’ son died from gastric fever. He leaned on Mary for comfort and soon enough she became pregnant. 

During this time, Mary’s mother, became ill with hepatitis, so Mary went to go be with her. She died within days of Mary visiting, at the age of 54 in the spring of 1867. 

Mary’s daughter, Isabella, who had been staying with her mother, was brought back with Mary to James’ house, but soon died, as well as two of James’ children Elizabeth and James. All three children were buried at the end of April and early May of 1867. Mary collected a life insurance payment. 

James and Mary Ann got married on August 11, 1867, and their child, Margaret Isabella was born in November. She became ill and died in February 1868, at just a few months old. The couple’s second child together, a boy named George, died on June 18, 1869. 

James soon became suspicious of Mary Ann, as she had been asking him to get life insurance on himself. He also found out that she had run up debts and was stealing money. Mary Ann had been forcing James’ older children to pawn off household valuables. Upon these discoveries, James kicked Mary out of the house, and got custody of their son George. 

Mary Ann was living on the streets at this point, but soon enough, her friend Margaret Cotton introduced her to her brother, Fredrick, a widower who had lost 2 out of his 4 children. Margaret Cotton had been acting as the children’s mother figure, but in late March of 1870 she became ill and died, leaving Mary Ann to console Fredrick. It didn’t take long for Mary Ann to become pregnant by him, this being her 12th pregnancy. 

Fredrick and Mary Ann were married on September 17, 1870, and their son, Robert was born in early 1871. Mary Ann then learned that her past lover, Joseph Natrass was no longer married and didn’t live too far away. She rekindled their romance, and Fredrick died in December 1871, from gastric fever. 

After her 4th husband died, Mary found a lover named either John Quick-Manning or Richard Quick Mann, though there have been no trace of a John Quick-Manning in any records. Either way, Mary became pregnant by him. 

Mary’s son, Robert died in 1872, and Joseph Nattrass died from gastric fever after changing his will in Mary’s favour. 

Mary Ann was asked to help nurse a woman who had smallpox, however she complained she would not be able to, because Charles Edward Cotton, Fredrick’s son, was in the way. She asked if Charles would be able to work as well. Mary Ann supposedly told parish official, Thomas Riley, that Charles would not trouble her long as he would “go like all the rest of the Cottons.” 

Five days after this encounter, Mary Ann told Thomas Riley that Charles had died. However, Thomas Riley was extremely suspicious of this and asked the doctor to not write a death certificate right away, as they needed to investigate. 

Mary went straight to the insurance office, but soon found out that no money would be paid to her until a death certificate was issued. An inquest was held and a jury determined that the boy died from natural causes. Mary Ann said that Thomas Riley had made accusations against her because she had previously rejected his romantic advances. 

However, news broke out that Mary Ann had moved around England frequently, had lost multiple husbands, a lover, a friend, her mother and 11 of her children all from stomach fevers. 

The doctor who had been looking after Charles, kept samples and tested them to show that there were traces of arsenic present. This doctor informed police and Mary Ann was arrested. She was charged with the boy’s murder, though her trial was delayed until after she gave birth to her 13th child on January 10, 1873. The child’s name was Margaret Edith Quick-Manning Cotton. 

Mary Ann’s trial began on March 5, 1873. The defence argued that Charles had died from inhaling arsenic used as dye in the green wallpaper of the Cotton home. However, the jury deliberated for 90 minutes and came back with a guilty verdict. 

Mary Ann Cotton was hanged on March 24, 1873 by William Calcraft. She did not die from her neck breaking however, rather from strangulation caused by the rope being too short, possible on purpose. 

Of Mary’s 13 children, only two survived: Margaret Edith who lived until 1954, and her son George from her marriage to James Robinson. 

[lunar-magnolia]

IT'S TIME TO GO ON A SPECULATION JOURNEY @l-tachi​

It's true we don't really know Hua Cheng's past before he fell into Xie Lian's arms as a child, but we do have some things that could help make up a little picture of his human life. I might leave out some things and take them for granted, like his transformation from simple fire ghost to savage:

*putting a read more because Long and spoilery

He was a citizen of the Imperial Capital of Xianle or lived in the vicinity of it. It's possible that he lived outside the walls, because of what Feng Xin said about knowing all the children who lived in the poorest part of the Imperial Capital. He said he had never seen little Hua (or Hong-er) around.

Because of his cursed eye that he kept covered, it's possible that his family was cast out of the city when he was born. Maybe they did live inside the city, but once little Hua came around and voice spread about his curse, they might have been kicked out.

It's also possible that only his mother loved him in the family, and the fact that she wouldn't give him up and doomed them all could have been cause of fights in the household. Thus we have little Hua lying about having parents and refusing to go back home.

It's also possible that he truly doesn't have a name. Hong Hong-er is the way his mother called him, and sounds more like a cute nickname that referred to his red eye (it means "little red"). He never gives Xie Lian a proper name, neither when he's a child nor when he was in his Wuming form. This is completely debatable tbh

However, when he meets Xie Lian again after 800 years, he does give a name that he says he prefers: San Lang. In the notes of the book it says that it indicates the third son of a household. This made me think that he probably had at least two older siblings when he was human. Which is nice, but all things considered he probably didn't have a good relationship with them.

CW: death, suicide mention

It's unclear if he jumped or just fell from the wall during the festival as a child. There's a high chance that Xie Lian is an unreliable narrator and Hua Cheng never told him why he was in such a dangerous position in the first place. It's however safe to imagine that he was going to jump, but seeing the parade he stopped himself. He was either pushed or he slipped.

I say it's kinda safe because of the infamous scene where little Hua is pleading to Xie Lian to tell him why should he continue living when he really doesn't want to. His life has been too hard on him and he wants to die. Xie Lian tells him to live for him if he can't find anything else worth living for. So yeah.

The guoshi of Xianle mentions that the kid Xie Lian had brought to the Royal Pavilion centuries ago was cursed and he probably never lived past 18-20yo. We know that up until 14 years old he was alive and well and in the army, fighting in the name of the Crown Prince. We also know that after the Land of the Tender accident he was booted from the army. At some point after the fall of Xianle, he died.

We see him protecting one of Xie Lian's temples when people wanted to burn it down. It's possible that he died doing exactly that, when he was around 18/19 years old.

In fact, Hua Cheng mentions that dying in Xie Lian's name is the greatest honor for him. And it already happened twice: when he was a human and when he sacrificed himself as Wuming.

Also another possible indicator of the age he was when he died is the age he has in his Hua Cheng form. He is described as a youth in his 20s.

After his sacrifice as Wuming, his soul still refused to leave the mortal realm and dissipate. We can imagine that after that episode mount Tong'lu opened and he went there as a fragile soul to regain his power and become at least a savage again. He knew he needed to become strong again if he wanted to protect Xie Lian, so he risked it all.

We know that while journeying towards the kiln, he gained enough power to have a "physical" form and gauge his own eye out to forge E'ming in a desperate situation. Plus, at the exact same moment, the heaven sent a heavenly calamity and he ascended as a ghost. But since Xie Lian wasn’t there and he had lots of beef with the heavenly officials, he immediately jumped down and continued on his path to become a supreme.

He stayed in the Mount Tong'lu zone for 10 years. In these ten years it's highly probable that he slew as many ghosts as he could to gain as much power as he could get. He also spent his time exploring the ruins of Wuyong and honing in his art skills in the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.

When he entered the kiln, it's unclear if he found other powerful ghosts to fight inside it or not. In any case, once he was done and still inside, before escaping he carved the giant Crown Prince statue that we see in book 5.

After escaping the kiln, he had all the "physical" strength. But we know that he's also extremely knowledgeable, and that when he challenged the 35 heavenly officials, some were civil gods and he beat them in debates.

So it's possible that after becoming a Supreme, he started his journey to gather as much knowledge as he could. During the years he gained fame and his Crimson Rain Sought Flower title.

With his status and skill, he eventually founded Ghost City and started building his own wealth too, thanks to the Gambler's Den.

It took some time, but when he was positive he could take all the 35 heaven officials down at their own game, he went and became the infamous Hua Cheng, the Crimson Rain that sought the flower.

I think it's important to mention that the guoshi of Xianle also said that the people cursed like Hua Cheng had the worst luck. Instead, we see Hua Cheng being possibly the luckiest person on Earth. This is probably the consequence of Xie Lian changing his fate and giving up all his luck (per the cursed shackle). Among everything, in fact, guoshi said that to survive the curse, fate must be changed.

I think Xie Lian altered Hua Cheng's fate both when he was a human and held onto little Hua when everyone else told him to let him go, and when he gave up his luck just after Wuming's sacrifice. Xie Lian, in fact, says that luck will be transfered to people who lack it. And Hua Cheng, who was in the vicinity, was probably the most unlucky person present. I think he absorbed most of Xie Lian's luck, and that also impacted his fate.

Another possibility is Hua Cheng gaining luck after he forged E'ming. If his eye was the reason why his luck was so terrible, removing it and sealing into a spiritual device could have been the catalyst to his apparently infinite luck.

I think he also spent his time looking for Xie Lian, but the world is vast and he lost track of him after the Wuming arc. So he focused on improving himself to be worthy of one day approaching Xie Lian.

I guess he came to know Xie Lian's whereabouts when Xie Lian ascended for the third time. It's possible that he got word of it from Black Water, and then the rest is history.

Akdhskfhjd I might have skipped some things, please feel free to ask more questions if something is unclear or doesn't make sense. All of this is pure speculation based on the information we have from the book and it's all debatable. Still, I had fun thinking about it! Thank you so much for the prompt!!!

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[vikingpoteto]

the curse of cousin Chad

Read on AO3

______________________

Relationships:  GEN. Tim Drake & Jason Todd & Stephanie Brown

Summary: Tim Drake's only wish is for people to stop talking about Red Robin on the news (and a monkey's paw finger curls somewhere as Chad Wayne shows up in their lives.)

________________________

Red Robin had been better, but he had been worse too.

After Batgirl helps him sit down, he stops for a second and decides that he probably doesn’t have any broken bones, just more than a few bruises forming. Batgirl all but falls by his side, exhausted, and judging by the groan she lets out she must be just as sore. Still, she extends her fist for a bump and he grins as he obliges.

“Well, no one got shot or stabbed, so that’s a win on my book,” Red Robin says.

“That and we put away a dangerous gang that had been terrorizing the locals for months,” she reminds him.

“Yeah, that too.”

He glances around and decides the building they chose is tall enough that they can relax for a bit. He pulls down his cowl. Tim lets out a long relieved sigh when the cold night air touches his face. Batgirl follows his cue, even if she struggles with her hair for a bit to do so. The two of them let their legs dangle from the edge of the rooftop, unbothered by the height, their gazes on the sky.

Heavy footsteps approach the young vigilantes from behind, but neither Tim nor Steph worries, because they’re familiar with the sound. As expected, a third vigilante soon enough takes the spot by Steph’s other side, his helmet already under his arm and his face mask free.

“You two look really beaten considering you weren’t fighting alone tonight,” Jason says.

Steph flips him off.

Tim rolls his eyes. “There were a lot of weaklings, okay? Sometimes that’s more annoying than one strong guy.”

“If you say so.”

“How about your night?” Steph asks casually.

“Kicked some ass, shot the kneecaps of the most stubborn ones. All in a night’s work.”

They nod and resume watching the sky for a brief peaceful moment. So high above they can barely hear the sounds of sirens and late night traffic on the streets.

Then Steph sits up so fast she almost slips down the edge. Tim and Jason grab her shoulders by reflex and pull her back at the same time.

Ignoring the fact that she almost died, Steph shouts: “What time is it?”

“Hm... about 2am?” Tim checks his wrist pad. “Yeah, 2:35.”

“Oh my God!” She groans, pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes. “We missed the countdown by, like, a lot! How did we not hear the fireworks?”

“Gunshots?” Jason suggests.

“Fireworks and gunshots don’t sound the same, we all know the difference.”

Tim rolls his eyes, because this is so them. Of course they’d miss the start of the new year because they were busy fighting crime. Steph and Tim were even planning on going to WE’s New Year’s party together after what was supposed to be a super quick patrol, just to stop a few muggers, really . Tim is glad they did, even if Lucius is going to scold him on Monday. He hates those parties.

“Well, I have a little something here to celebrate,” Jason says with a crooked grin.

He turns his helmet upside down, revealing a bottle of booze. Of course the dramatic bitch had it hidden, just waiting for the right moment to reveal it. Steph whoops excitedly.

“Jason, you’re my hero! I mean… B is gonna kill us if he finds we were drinking in uniform, but it’s not like he’ll find out, right?”

Jason hands the bottle to Tim first, his smile positively wicked. Having been given this sort of gift from Jason before, Tim rolls his eyes and takes a generous chug without hesitation. His eyes tear up a bit at the taste when he passes the bottle to Steph.

She happily drinks straight from the bottle like Tim had… Then she freezes.

"Jason?"

“Yeah, Steph?”

“What the heck is this?”

“Spinach and lettuce juice. Timmy needs those antibodies."

"Jason, why are you like this?

"You didn’t think I was giving you guys alcohol, did you? You two are minors.”

Tim grins. He can tell Steph is trying to decide whether to throw the bottle overboard or at Jason’s head.

Before she decides, he turns his gaze back to the sky and asks: “You guys made any New Year’s wishes?”

“Resolutions,” Steph corrects. “Wishes are for birthdays.”

Jason makes a high-pitched voice, “wow, look at me, I’m Stephanie Brown, my mom loves me so much she celebrated my birthday!”

Tim laughs. “Geez, I’ll drink to that.”

There are no words to describe the horror in Steph’s face when he takes back the bottle and drinks a little more of the green juice.

He simply shrugs. “It’s an acquired taste.”

Deciding it’s not worth the trouble, Steph shakes her head and says, “I’m keeping it simple this year. My only resolution is to pass all my classes for once in my life. What about you, Jay?”

“I don’t do that corny shit.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I know you guys like corny shit.”

“We’ve seen you cry over Jane Austen, your edgelord bullcrap doesn’t work on us,” Steph says. When Jason tries to protest that his eyes were just tearing up from yawning, she turns to Tim: “What about you? Any New Year wishes?”

“Just one, too,” Tim says. “I wanna make sure every non-criminal forgets Red Robin ever existed.”

Jason and Steph snort.

“I’m serious. No more shipping me with my family, no more stalkers. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure no reporter writes the words ‘Red Robin’ ever again.”

“Good luck with that, Timbers.”

Tim drinks his lettuce juice in silence. He hands the bottle back to Jason. Steph pretends to gag when he also takes a long sip. Despite their incredulity, Tim is feeling positive about his goal. He feels like after the Red Twins craze died down, people lost interest in him. He thinks he can pull it off.

If only he knew.

Tim almost never visits the manor anymore. He’s been to the Batcave once or twice on the past few months, but the house itself… he doesn’t even remember the last time. He decides to stop by on a rare free afternoon, hoping Duke and Cass will be around. If not, seeing Alfred outside the cave and having a cup of tea with him was more than enough.

He lets himself in, because he knows it makes Alfred begrudgingly happy when any of the kids acts as though they still live there rather than politely ringing the bell. It also makes Damian mad, which is always a plus.

Hearing voices from the living room, Tim heads straight there, excited that there’s someone home. His smile freezes on his face. Whatever he was expecting to see, it wasn’t… that.

Bruce is sitting near the fireplace pinching the bridge of his nose as he does when his children are fighting among themselves. On the opposite couch is none other than Jason being embraced by a complete stranger that is currently sobbing into his shoulder.

Jason’s gaze meet Tim’s in what is clearly a plea for help. All Tim can do is mouth who the hell is that? to which Jason mouths back I have no fucking idea.

“Would you look at that, Tim’s here,” Bruce says. Tim has the feeling he’s trying to save Jason.

The sniffling stranger pulls back and turns around. “Oh god. You’re a man now, Timmy! Last time I saw you, you were just a tiny kid!”

To Tim’s complete horror, the man stands and comes hug him tightly.

“Uh… ”

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry,” the man gives a watery chuckle “of course you don’t remember me. You were a basically a toddler and I was also a kid when I last saw you. I’m Chad, your father’s cousin.”

“Oh. You’re…”

“I mean, Bruce's cousin. I knew Jack, though. He was good people.”

“Bruce’s cousin. Hm. So your name is Chad Wayne, huh?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing,” Tim pretends not to see Jason hide a snicker into his hand. “Sounds… cool.”

“Chad is visiting Gotham for a couple of weeks,” Bruce tells him. “He just graduated from college in Central City and decided it was a good idea to visit old relatives. It was such a great surprise when he arrived.”

“Right,” Chad wipes the tears from his face, “and I happened to run right into Jason here and oof. Saying I was surprised doesn’t cover it.”

His jovial laughter is so genuine that it’s almost unsettling.

“Oh. You… You know Jason."

“Yeah, man. My family was in a year long trip to Africa, so we didn’t hear about his death until a long time had passed. My parents were crushed that they couldn’t be there for Brucie then. Bruce was telling me about how you guys got him back. Nothing short of a miracle, huh?”

“A miracle,” Jason echoes.

Chad scratches his own nape, finally looking appropriately embarrassed. “Sorry I got so emotional, Jason. I almost didn’t recognize you, you got so jacked , man. I guess I have a good memory for faces.”

He speaks so fast. Steph always complains that Tim speaks too fast whenever he is in the zone and caffeinated, but that was nothing compared to Chad’s rambling.

“Oh well. C'mere, Tim, sit with us, let me get to know you guys. Even if I’m your father’s cousin, I guess I’m closer in age to you two ahaha...”

Tim is known for being a quick thinker, but something about Chad’s khaki shorts and how out of place they look in Gotham stuns him into inaction. He lets Chad drag him to the couch and doesn’t say anything else on pure fear that the guy is about to do it to ‘em.

“Actually,” Jason stands, “Tim is here to pick me up. We have this, hm, doctor’s appointment. To check my… eyes. Yeah, my eyes. Tim’s gonna drive me.”

“Oh, that’s alright, we can talk more when you two come back.”

“Back?” Tim parrots.

“Actually, Chad, Jason and Tim don’t live in the manor,” Bruce says. “They share an apartment around downtown.”

For the first time, Chad drops his too-blessed-to-be-stressed smile and frowns. “What? Why? I thought you guys just got Jason back. Shouldn’t he stay with you, Bruce?”

“Actually, that’s a funny story,” Jason says, taking Tim by the arm. “I’m sure Bruce will love to tell you all about it. I can’t be late for my appointment, isn’t that right, lil' bro?”

“Uh… Yeah. Being dead made his insurance skyrocket and the cancelation fees are a nightmare.”

“Hm-hum, all that. See you around and stuff.” Jason is holding Tim’s arm with such force that it’ll bruise for sure. They’re still on the way to the door when he hisses: “ Get me out of here right now.”

“But I didn’t even see Alfred,” he whispers back.

“ Now, Timothy ! ”

They don’t stop powerwalking until they’re in the car. Jason doesn’t bother going back for his bike and Tim makes a mental note to ask Cass to bring it back to their place later.

For a second, they just breathe Gotham’s polluted air to remind themselves they’re still home and not in a Disney sitcom.

That’s when Jason starts ranting. Apparently he was on the way to the kitchen to get just a bowl of cereal when he walked into Alfred getting the door open for cousin Chad. Alfred had said "Master Jason, I didn’t know you were here" and cousin Chad recognized him and started losing it. Bruce didn’t let Jason kill him, unfortunately, but managed to pull a story out of his ass about Jason coming back from the dead after someone from the Justice League messed up the timeline or something like that. The official story is that they found Jason just a couple of weeks ago and are still working out the kinks of having a family member return from the grave. Except Jason’s speech was a lot more convoluted and involved a lot of curse words and shakespearean insults.

“...and I didn’t even get my freaking cereal!” he finishes, just as Tim parks in front of their home.

“Well. That was an afternoon you just had,” Tim says. Jason huffs and gruffs on the way to the elevator. Tim waits until the doors close to say: “Bruce didn’t pull that story out of his ass, by the way.”

Jason frowns. “What?”

“Your cover story,” Tim clarifies. “He had it for years. I know everything about it if you want the details. He asked me for feedback when he was figuring how to make it believable and whatnot.”

“What? When? Why?”

“As soon as we found out you were alive. He wanted to be ready in case you decided to officially join the family again. It took a few days of work, but the plan exists and is ready to go whenever.”

Jason doesn’t say anything. Tim had expected that, so he allows him to mull over the newfound knowledge. He also expects Jason to head straight for the kitchen, which he does, and Tim follows his brother closely, not commenting on the tension of his shoulders or the way his jaw is set tight enough to crack a few teeth.

When his brother just stands near the sink apparently unsure of what to do with himself, Tim gets milk from the fridge and starts preparing a bowl of cereal.

“What were you doing there, anyway?”

“I went to see Alfred,” Jason mumbles. “But he was busy, so I was… I was talking to Bruce for a bit.”

“Oh?”

Jason grabs the bowl Tim is offering him. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Shut up.” And Jason stomps his way to his room, slamming the door after him.

When Steph shows up after class, Tim tells her not to bother him.

WAYNE FAMILY

Tim: @Bruce so wats his deal

Bruce: Dear Tim, what do you mean by that? sincerely, Bruce Wayne.

Tim: chad

Tim: whats his night persona

Tim: his masked name

Bruce: Tim, Chad is not a vigilante. sincerely, Bruce Wayne

Dick: shoot

Dick: he’s a villain???

Bruce: Dear Dick, Chad is not a villain either. He’s just a civillian. sincerely, Bruce Wayne.

Duke: dont he want to avenge his parents?

Bruce: Dear Duke, His parents are alive and well. They’re international activists currently on a mission to feed the poor somewhere in South America. sincerely, Bruce Wayne.

Damian: That means he’s must be a sleeper agent of sorts. I’ll collect some of his DNA for examination. Drake, I trust you’ll do a thorough check on his background, official and otherwise.

Tim: on it

Bruce: Damian, if you get your second-cousin’s DNA to run tests, your weekend at the Kent farm is permanently cancelled.

Jason: so b you admit you text like it’s a business email just to fuck with us, huh?

Bruce: Dear Jason, Mind your language in front of your little brothers. Sometimes I’ll sacrifice the format for the sake of speed. Regardless, this is the ideal way of writing a text message. sincerely, Bruce Wayne.

Bruce: @everyone Chad will be staying with us for a few weeks. He’s just a regular civilian with no tragic backstory, no metapowers and no secret identity. I expect all of you to behave like Alfred taught you and hide your secret identities like I trained you to. No one will investigate him or do anything to compromise our identities. Is that clear? Awaiting confirmation, Bruce Wayne

Cass: weird

Bruce: Dearest Cass, It’s not weird. Civilians exist. Sincerely, Bruce Wayne

Tim: not in our family they dnt!!!

Tim: cmon b you cant tell me s not suspicious!!!!!

Bruce: It is not.

Alfred: Master Bruce already checked his DNA for metagenes and ran a thorough background check with the help of miss Barbara. Unfortunately, Master Chad is clear.

Cass: weeeeeiiiiird

Tim decides to avoid Wayne manor for the foreseeable future. Instead, he buys Alfred’s favorite brand of tea and wonders if he can convince the butler to come over to stay with them for an afternoon or perhaps the whole weekend. Tim is more than willing to share the couch with Steph and let Alfred have his bed. He puts the tea away with a passive aggressive note letting Jason and Steph know that tea is to be saved for Alfred.

Jason is in the living room cleaning one of his guns while Steph does her homework on the carpet by his feet, meaning is just an afternoon like any other for them.

Tim has to remind himself of her resolution before he gives in the temptation of asking her to go patrolling with him. The thing is that his resolution is a lot easier to pursue when Batgirl is around, because she can deal with the civilians after the fact while Red Robin vanishes as soon as the criminals are in cuffs.

Alas. Working alone can be fun, too, he tells himself.

Before he heads out to get his suit, however, the buzzer sounds. He hears Steph cheering and saying something about pizza.

Then a voice that makes Tim freeze in horror.

“Oh, hey. I must have the wrong apartment. Is this Tim and Jason Wayne’s place?”

“Uhhhh…”

He runs so fast Bart would be proud, hoping he can sign at Steph to send him away before he sees them, but it’s too late. Tim rushes only to find out that, in all the glory of his khaki shorts and boat shoes, Chad Wayne is already inside his apartment.

Tim is very aware that Jason is frozen on the couch right behind him, still holding a gun.

“Chad! What a surprise!”

“Hey, Timbo!” Chad grins, looking genuinely happy to see him. “Damian told me you wouldn’t be working tonight and then he gave me your address!”

Why, god? Why hadn’t Tim killed Damian when he had the chance?

“And who is this lovely young woman?” He asks. “If she isn’t spoken for, I might want to steal her for me.”

“I’m his ex, actually, and I sort of live here.” Steph offers her hand. “I speak for myself.”

Instead of shaking her hand, Chad brings her fingers to his lips and gives them an excuse of a kiss. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma damme .”

Steph’s smile is too wide to be natural and her eyes look like they’re about to jump out of the sockets. Like the rest of the family, she seems to struggle to believe this guy is real. Tim can’t save her, he just wishes Jason would put away his things while cousin Chad is busy with Steph.

“So, Chad, it’s so nice to see you, but uhhh... What are you doing here?”

“Well, since you guys never go over I had to come see you! And trust me, I get it , when I let my folks’ place to go to college, I wanted to spend even the breaks at my frat house. Anyway, I thought I’d come here, we can order some take out and…”

His eyes finally find Jason and he freezes. “...is that a gun?”

Crap, poop, turd, crap,  crapcrapcrapcrap-

“Uhhh… yeah?”

In the same way when he heard that Jason doesn’t live with Bruce, Chad’s positive vibes vanish and he looks distraught.

“Guys… does Bruce know about that?”

Before anyone can stop him, Chad walks in like he owns the place and takes the seat by Jason’s side. Tim and Steph exchange a panicked look, both praying that the gun isn’t easy to assemble or at least that Jason doesn’t have any ammo within arms reach. The two hurry to join them, Steph dropping on the couch and casually leaning against Jason in a position that allows her to hold his arm should he decide to throw Chad out. Tim takes the arm of the couch closer to Chad, ready to pick him up and throw him away himself if he says something stupid.

“We keep it here for safety,” Jason says simply.

“Okay. Oof.” Chad reaches for Jason’s shoulder. “Look, I get it. Gotham is dangerous. But having a gun at home is more of a hazard than anything else, Jace. Can I call you Jace?”

“No.”

“Look, I’m an only son, but if I had a little brother like Tim, I’d want to show him a good example, you know? And guns are not the solution. Do you genuinely think you could shoot someone? I don’t think so. I served the army and there we learn that shooting a person is harder than you can imagine."

Tim can see Steph discreetly pinching Jason’s thigh to keep him in check. Jason looks like he’s asking himself if he’s in the Twilight zone.

There is a beat of silence and Jason opens his mouth. Tim braces himself. Before disaster hits, Steph blurts:

“Actually, that’s why Jason’s here.”

Fortunately, Chad doesn’t notice Jason’s and Tim’s perplexed faces because he’s focused on Steph again.

“Of course Bruce hates guns with his parents and all that,” she frowns sympathetically. “But… Chad, Jason died. Of course he’s getting therapy, but he still needs something to feel safe at least at home. Isn’t that right, Jay?”

She gently rubs his arm. Jason knows Steph enough to recognize the play along or you’re dead in her falsely upset expression.

“Uh… Right. That. I moved in with Tim because, uh, I know Bruce is weird with guns." Another pinch to his thigh. Clearly in a begrudging voice, he adds: "And I super agree with him. I mean, what if Damian found it?”

“God, no,” Tim deadpans. “I don’t want to even imagine Damian with a gun.”

“But Tim and he knows he's not to mess with it,” Jason adds.

“Bruce told me you’re here you and him are a bit at odds, but he didn’t tell me you fought over you having a gun.”

“Bruce doesn’t know and you can’t tell him,” Tim cuts in. Batman is definitely going to forget his no-killing rule if he finds out they let cousin Chad see Red Hood’s gun. “Please, Chad. I promise you we’re careful. We’re just trying to make the best out of a difficult situation.”

Tim hopes the mention that this is a touchy subject will deter Chad. He forgets to take in consideration that Chad thinks they’re his family despite him knowing literally nothing about them. He is under the very wrong impression that he's allowed to talk to them about personal shit. Which is great. This is just great.

“If it makes you feel better, this is temporary,” Jason says. “I talked to my, uh, my therapist about it and he cleared me to have the gun. When I start, you know, getting over the death trauma, I’ll get rid of it.”

“Right,” Steph nods eagerly. “We’re planning on throwing a party when we reach that point and everything.”

The three of them wait with baited breath as Chad considers their excuses, his expression somber. Then Chad opens his arms and pulls Tim and Jason into a triple hug.

“I get it,” he says in a hoarse voice he probably finds cool. “You do what you have to do to cope, man. Bruce told me you’re brave and I can see that’s true. And you, ” he squeezes Tim, “I heard from Dickie that you’re a little prodigy, but I’m so proud of you for being there for your brother!”

God, he has so many feelings. Tim promises himself he’ll never complain about Dick being clingy again. Dick has a Batman level of emotional constipation if compared to this guy.

“Right,” Jason pulls himself free from the hug. “I’m gonna put this away, alright?”

He gathers his cleaning supplies and the spare parts spread across the coffee table and takes it to his room. His expression says he's still trying to figure out what that was.

“But, Timbo…”

“Just Tim is fine.”

“I thought you didn’t know Jason before his death? Bruce adopted you kind of recently, didn’t he?”

“Uhhh… I don’t know what to tell you. Jason and I hit it off and became friends fast,” Tim says. “I mean, at first he hated me enough to want to slit my throat…”

“Wow, alright,” Jason interrupts as he returns, a pout on his lips. “I see we’re very comfortable joking about my early… grumpiness. It’s not something I feel guilt or still have nightmares about at all”

Tim almost snorts at that. “Like I was saying, we got better.”

Chad nods thoughtfully and leans back to be more comfortable, nothing about his body language suggesting he might be getting ready to leave.

“So!” Steph claps her hands together. “Thank you for understanding, Chad. Now maybe let's talk about something lighter, shall we?”

And that’s what they do, with some sttrugle. At first, Chad seems too upset to talk about anything and Steph has to use all of her charm to get him to forget about the fantastic start of his visit. Jason helps by making sarcastic remarks that almost sound genuine and Tim… Tim can’t do much.

He texts Cass and she agrees to take his patrol duty for the night. Tim considered making up an emergency at WE and going out anyway, but in the end he decided that was unfair to the others.

He also sends a message chewing on Damian for sending Chad his way without a warning. No one ever visits Tim’s apartment other than his family and his hero friends, so they could have been in full uniform in the middle of the living room. Damian responds with a dismissive text filled with words that Tim doesn’t know. Tim threatens to break all of his crayons and puts his phone away

By this point, Chad is a bit more like himself again and Tim almost wishes he stayed distressed, because the rest of the night is painfully weird. To avoid more awkward conversation, Jason puts on a random horror movie for them. Chad comments on how impressive it is that none of them seems to mind the gore. He squeals and groans and gives Steph a horrified look when she simply keeps eating her pepperoni pizza as though nothing of note is happening on the screen.

The thing is that the movie’s gore is decidedly inaccurate to the point that they barely recognize it for what it's supposed to be. Besides it’s nothing worse than some wounds they’d either suffered or seen as vigilantes.

Maybe it’s because Tim didn’t get the adrenaline he expected from patrol, but he ends up falling asleep on Jason’s shoulder during the climax of the second movie.

He wakes up alone on the couch with a blanket half-thrown over his legs. It's still the middle of the night and he has half a mind to go to his room before he hears muffled voices from the kitchen. Rubbing his eyes, he follows the sound without thinking much.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Steph greets him.

She and Jason apparently are building a castle of Uno cards in the middle of the kitchen table.

Tim joins them. “It’s 3am.”

“Witching hour,” Jason mumbles.

Steph gestures at the castle and offers Tim a card. He takes it.

“It was a dirty trick to fall asleep like that,” she tells him. “You missed the selfie party to celebrate the first time he visited Jace and Timbo.”

Tim groans. “He stayed long?”

“Too long.” Jason adds another pair of cards to the castle. “I think I have a headache and the Lazarus pit is supposed to make you immune to headaches.”

“That's what I was telling Jason before you got here, Tim. We’re socially capable, right?”

“Hmmm… Right, I guess.”

“How come we couldn’t get rid of him? Why were we so lost while we were, like, just hanging out with him? Is everyone outside of Gotham like that?”

Part of Tim is relieved that Steph hates Chad too. He thought he and Jason had finally caught Batman’s moodiness, but Steph is one of the most cheerful people he knows and her dry sense of humor and quick quips are a lot more bearable than cousin Chad’s peppy attitude.

The other part of him…

“I think it’s less about him not being from Gotham and more about him being a civilian,” Jason says.

The castle falls. None of them reacts.

“That can’t be right,” Steph says. “We have civilian friends and they’re not like that.”

“Do we?”

“Yeah! Jason-- Hm. Tim has Tam… Oh, forget it, she’s not talking to him again. I have Francisco and- I just remembered he’s the son of a gangster.” Steph pauses. “Huh. Do we seriously not know any civilians?”

They don’t. Not on a friendly level, at least.

Tim had considered that before, but he didn't want to think about it. It was weird he was so distant from a normal life that he felt unsettled by it. Not bad. Just weird. If he hadn’t found out Batman’s and Robin’s identities, would he grow up to be a Chad? Finishing high school, living in a frat house in college, and all that? Would he still be a Drake, neighbor to the Waynes?

He loves all of his siblings and Bruce and Alfred and he doesn’t want to consider a life without them.

However.

In a world without Batman. Bruce would still be a good man. He still wouldn’t hesitate in adopting an orphaned circus boy. He would probably also adopt the little shit that tried to steal his not-batmobile tires. If by a miracle he also adopted the boy next door that tragically lost his parents and a girl from a very broken family and a young boy whose parents couldn’t be there for him anymore. His gremlin of a biological son would have grown up beloved and incapable of harming anyone, let alone assassinating a person.

He remembers the plan to bring Jason back to the world of the living and how easy it had been for him and Bruce to put it together and make it seem believable, because in their world it was believable and it could have been the truth.

If Jason Wayne, a regular boy, son of a regular man, had been killed in a freak criminal act and brought back to life thanks to superhero shenanigans, all of them would have been there for him. Jason wouldn’t resent his father for not killing his murderers, because that wasn’t a possibility, and they’d find a way to get him to overcome the effects of the trauma. Bruce certainly wouldn’t spare effort or money to get his son back to full health.

If Stephanie’s father hadn’t been a super criminal, Tim’s first girlfriend wouldn’t hit him in the face with a brick on their first meeting. She would have been a normal girl with a normal life and she could even run into him at school. There is no doubt in his mind that he would have found and made Steph his friend no matter the universe, except… would he?

In that reality, he didn’t know what gore looked like. He would get too upset to function for half an hour at the mere sight of a gun. He’d visit relatives unannounced and the worst thing that could happen was to find them heading out as he arrives. He draws the line at the khakis and boat shoes, because he doesn’t think he’d wear those in any universe, but still.

That would not be Timothy Drake-Wayne. Tim had seen his own internal organs before. Tim’s not only unfazed by fire guns but also built some for his older brother. Tim is fully aware that visiting any of his siblings might mean walking into a ninja fight at worst and finding them pretending to drive the batmobile at best.

Steph and Jason don’t say anything for a while and Tim could easily blame it on the fact that it’s almost 4am and they have yet to sleep, but he knows it’s because they’re reaching the same conclusion he did: they’re not normal people. They always knew that, but knowing something and seeing evidence are two different things.

And again… it’s not bad. It’s not that Tim wouldn’t change anything about the past, it’s just that he doesn’t regret the life he lead up until this point.

It’s still weird. Too weird.

BABS

Babs: The red dynamic duo ship is back with a vengeance, huh?

Babs sent you a link.

Tim had never had a panic attack. Considering the life he leads, that’s a pretty surprising thing. However, that text from a woman he considers part of his family kicks his fight-or-flight instinct like nothing in the world could. He clicks on it. He reads the article.

He screams into a pillow for about ten minutes.

Jason and Steph find him lying face down on the floor trying to get his phone’s AI to buy him a ticket to Smallville. He's sure Conner will take him in. He’ll work at the farm. He’ll stop being Red Robin. He doesn’t care.

It’s an article from a teen magazine.

TIM WAYNE AND MYSTERY MAN?

Ah, the Wayne Family. Our favorite and most iconic family of Gotham. Timothy Drake-Wayne (18), or Tim, how he prefers to be called, has been under our radar for quite a while and not just because of his cute face. The young CEO of Wayne Enterprises and heir to Drake Industries is smart, rich and incredibly charming if the rumors are true. That being said, the question we’re all asking is: how is this boy still single?

Little to nothing is known about Tim Wayne’s love life and we were all crazy to know if he is in the market for a girlfriend.

Well, ladies, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Tim Wayne might have a special someone. Nothing is confirmed yet, but Chad Wayne (26), Tim’s adoptive father’s cousin, shared a rather interesting picture on his snapchat.

[IMAGE]

Once we got over how freaking hot Chad is looking, we noticed something in the background. Right behind Chad, we can barely see someone that looks exactly like Tim Wayne fast asleep on the shoulder of a real heartthrob. Our suspicions were confirmed by Chad’s caption that said “visiting the little cousins”!

It’s a well-known fact that Tim Wayne is openly bisexual, so could this be his boyfriend? Or are they just dudes being bros, unbothered by toxic masculinity? Only time will tell.

THE BIRDNEST

spoiler alert sent a screenshot.

spoiler alert: lmao

WonderWing: … ok first I thought it was funny but now I’m concerned

WonderWing: do I need to talk to them?

WonderWing: do I need to talk our dad???

In the hood: WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO US?

In the hood: WHY IS ANYONE SEEN NEAR THIS DAMN KID AUTOMATICALLY HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER??

send me a Signal: scratch that what is this openly bisexual business?

send me a Signal: I mean we know hes bi but hes not that vocal bout it?

spoiler alert: lmao tell em dick

WonderWing: lololol when he was like 12 there were rumors that Jack Drake’s son was gay right?

WonderWing: high society trashy gossip

WonderWing: around the same time his mom thought it was a good idea to let him be interviewed for this random magazine

WonderWing: they mentioned the rumors prolly because they wanted him to like say something motivational about bullying or wtv

send me a Signal: i think i know where this is going

send me a Signal: what did he say?

spoiler alert: i like my men how i like my women

send me a Signal: of course he did

spoiler alert: yeah and he wasnt out to his parnts yet so that part is less fun

send me a Signal: oof

In the hood: are you kidding me? Tim came out to the whole world because he couldn’t stop himself from making a dumb bi joke? Why can’t he stay in the closet like the rest of us?

Boss A$$ Bat: Bi rights

WonderWing: steph did you change cass nickname again

spoiler alert: ye

Boss A$$ Bat: I like it (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

send me a Signal: wait tims too quiet where is he

in the Hood: Steph took away his phone because he kept trying to book a flight to Smallville to become a farmer.

send me a Signal: of course. why wouldnt he.

Chad apologizes profusely for not noticing Tim and Jason were on that shot, but thankfully he does it over the phone so Tim can hang up halfway through his heartfelt apology.

The kids that still live in the manor aren't so lucky.

Tim gets a stream of facetimes from Duke, Cass and even Damian. Apparently Chad won't stop asking Cass to speak up, because she can, why bother with this weird sign stuff? (Cass stops Duke from hitting him.) He insists on asking Damian to play football with him until Damian knocked him out with a ball to the face. Bruce forced Damian to pretend he dislocated his shoulder on the stunt to prevent further invitations. Even though Duke is, by all means, perfect, Chad keeps stalking him and asking about his opinions on his siblings and if he thinks Bruce is doing the best job on raising them. The answers never satisfy him and he keeps asking as though he thinks the boy will change his mind if caught by surprise. Duke starts using his powers to jump out of the window whenever Chad is about to walk into the room until he lands on Alfred's roses. The fact that the butler isn't mad, just disappointed causes Duke to stop his daring escapes.

Bruce, despite his cool facade, isn't much better. He now has to keep his public persona at home too and, when it isn't driving him insane, he is being annoyed by his children exchanging weird looks and holding back giggles while he plays the himbo part.

Long story short, Chad is making a few days feel like torturing years.

The breaking point is the day Tim walks into his living room only to find Steph and Damian sitting on the couch facing each other while she dutifully paints his nails black.

“What is happening?” Tim asks. “Did I fall into a parallel Earth?”

“Tt, do not concern yourself with us, Drake. I’m here for Brown, not for you.”

Steph smirks at him.

“What the- Okay, first of all this apartment is mine and Jason’s. Steph doesn’t live here. Sometimes. Second… Since when do you get along with Steph?”

“I tolerate her.”

“What the hell? That’s like I love you in Gremlin language! Since when did you get Damian?”

Her smirk widens and Tim more or less expects her to do a little victory dance. “I don’t know what to tell you, man. I’m just irresistible.”

“Hm.” Tim turns to Damian. “Chad drove you out of the house and Bruce didn’t let you go to Dick's place in Bludhaven, right?”

“Father says I cannot miss school.”

“Great. If you’re going to become our second unofficial roommate, please stay away from Jason’s pots. He says he has a system and he's a nightmare when we mess with them.”

“I would never spend more time than necessary in your disgusting nest.”

“You’re literally on my couch! Letting my best friend paint your nails! You freaking pest!”

And Damian isn’t the only one.

Cass used to come over regularly, but the frequency of her visits increases dramatically now that Chad is staying at the manor. She isn’t bad to be around, though, as she mostly keeps training in the basement or napping on the couch that Steph is more than happy to share with her. When Tim asks why she doesn’t simply stay in the Batcave, Cass tells him Bruce is keeping their time at the cave to a minimum because Chad noticed sometimes they vanish even if all cars were in the garage.

Chad is also painfully public. He’s constantly tweeting and updating his Instagram and making sure everyone and their mother knows what he’s doing, who’s with him and where they are. That makes it difficult to kick him out without drawing attention. Gotham's elite is a nest of gossip and intrigue and people ought to ask uncomfortable questions if a rich guy sends a rich relative away for seemingly no reason. Bruce might be the most private person in the world, but Brucie Wayne is supposed to be a fun-loving man.

Cass convinces Tim not to make much fun of Bruce, because apparently, after Chad posted a picture of him and Bruce trying to bake and Brucie is wearing an apron that says “Kiss the Bat!”, Superman himself called him only to laugh for ten minutes. Tim Supposes that’s punishment enough.

When Duke is the one seeking shelter, it isn’t as fun. As much as Tim likes the guy, he’s a chronic worrier in a completely different way of Tim. He wants to make sure they're all living healthy lives and eating properly and, for some reason, whether Steph and Jason are bullying Tim. He question things such as the fact that Steph is ruining her back on the couch, Tim’s habit of leaving dirty dishes in the sink overnight and the lack of the right brands of food, whatever that means. Tim gets tired of it pretty fast, but he also finds that being unnecessarilly dark is a efficient way to get Duke to shut up.

“So Steph basically moved in, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you guys share the rent or…?”

“I own the building, Duke.”

“Right. So she doesn’t pay any bills.”

“She kills bugs for us sometimes. She buys candy, too.”

"Does Jason pay bills?"

"He does. We split it evenly between the two of us."

"Huh. Where does he get any money?"

"Don't know. Don't care."

"Is Bruce okay with that?"

"If Bruce wanted to have a say in my life he shouldn't have died and forced me to get emancipated."

"... Tim, I love you so much, man, but sometimes it's hard to be your brother."

"I know, Duke. I love you too, Duke."

One night, he comes back from patrol and he finds all of his siblings literally camping in the living room. Someone even built a pillow fort by tying a preposterous amount of blankets to the porch door and the TV stand. Too tired to care, Tim turns to his room.

“Good night, Jay. Good night, Steph. Good night, parasites that do not live here.”

“You take back those words on this instant, Drake,” Damian hisses, but fortunately someone (Steph) tucked him too tightly into his sleeping bag, so there’s nothing he can do but wiggle around like an angry worm.

“Why are we parasites?” Duke asks from his air mattress. “I’ve done the dishes. That’s more than what Steph does.”

“Good night, Tim,” Cass says from… somewhere. They know she found a place to sleep. They don’t know where it is.

DAD

Tim: brus pls get rid of him

Dad: I can’t, Tim, it’d be suspicious to kick out a relative for no reason.

Tim: every1 is living at my place bc of him

Tim: even damian

Tim: do u kno how insuferable a man has to be that damian would rather spend time with jason and i

Dad: If everyone being at your place is bothering you so much, why don’t you invite Chad?

Tim: … no. ur not pushing him to me.

Dad: Chad and you are close in age, aren’t you? You could get along if you tried.

Tim: i 19! he 26!

Dad: Jason is 22 and he’s your best friend.

Tim: conner is my best friend

Tim: jason is a partner in crime at best

Dad: If you’re able to think of something to shorten Chad’s visit, I’m all ears. I admit it’s inconvenient to have him here. Otherwise, I think spending time with your siblings will do you some good.

Tim: i hate you

Dad: Alright, Tim.

Tim: … ok that was a lie and im sorry i love u bruss

Dad: I love you too, Tim.

One day, Tim goes to the kitchen for a mug of coffee and finds Barbara comfortably working on her laptop.

“...you don’t even live at the manor.”

“Hm? Oh, I’m not avoiding cousin Chad, Steph just invited me over for waffles.”

Tim just takes his coffee and leaves without saying anything else.

And then shit finally hits the fan.

Because Tim isn’t an idiot like Bruce, he didn’t make his public persona something that would be painful for him to play. As far as Gotham’s society knows, Tim Drake-Wayne is a calm and collected young man, work-driven and not too ill-mannered for a rich boy, which isn’t as different from the real Tim. Real Tim is an overworked ball of anxiety that appears to be a calm and collected young man, so no one is surprised when he doesn’t acknowledge the rumors about him and the mysterious man.

At least not until a son of a bitch with too much free time decides to ruin his brother’s life on twitter.

@earthnotflatffs101 yo don’t this dude with tim drake low key look like jason todd?

And the motherfucker even dared to repost Chad’s selfie and an old picture of a 13 year-old Jason walking alongside Bruce.

Of course the tweet goes viral.

Everyone starts talking about the eerie resemblance between Tim’s buddy and his deceased brother that he supposedly never met. Some find it tasteless that everyone is making a conspiracy theory out of an allegedly dead child, but they are quickly overpowered by the wave of old gossip being revisited. It takes one Sunday afternoon for everyone to start pointing out how weird it is that Tim Drake left the Wayne manor seemingly out of the blue and started living by himself at such a young age and how my sense it’d make for him to share a place with a brother. They notice Chad captioned the picture as "visiting the cousins" plural even if it's public knowledge that Tim Drake- Wayne lives alone. People start demanding to know who is the mystery man lending his shoulder to Tim, tagging the few Waynes with known social media in their posts and even WE corporate account.

It’s the very definition of a shit show, in Tim’s humble opinion.

Red Robin and Batgirl skip their Sunday patrol to brainstorm ideas of damage control. Damian is pacing around the kitchen as the two of them desperately try to apply an algorithm Oracle made to make sure less people will see posts about Jason Todd. There’s not a lot they can do about the fact that #IsJasonToddAlive? is trending. They’re so distressed that Damian forgets to be unpleasant.

“I see no other option,” Damian says at some point. “We should kill that man before he ruins our family any further.”

“How would killing him solve anything?” Tim groans.

“It would make me feel better.”

“No.”

“His death would cause people to forget about Todd.”

“... Go on.”

“Tim, you’re not going to let Dami kill Chad.”

“Why not!”

“Because with our track record he’s going to come back with radioactive powers or some shit.”

“That would be good! He’d finally fit in with the family! As it is now, we’re becoming the freaking Kardashians with a hint conspiracy theory, Steph!”

That’s not the biggest problem, though.

The problem is that Jason doesn’t come home on that night.

Tim and Steph wait for hours after Damian finally calms down in his sleeping bag, but the sun rises and Jason’s room remains empty.

He isn’t freaking out, by any means. Jason is an adult man and he can handle himself. He used to go missing by months at a time before moving in with Tim. He must be busy doing Red Hood stuff. He could let them know he’s okay, just for shits and giggles, but it’s alright. He doesn’t owe them anything.

On the third day after #isJasonToddAlive went viral, Tim and Steph go on patrol even if it’s not their turn. It’s a spur of the moment thing, because they’re home and bored. They agree to split up and just ride around town aimlessly, see what happens and meet at the end of the night to grab waffles at that 24 hour diner Steph likes so much.  One that Jason first took her to after one particular bad night in which she failed to stop a mugger from shooting their victim.

He is just riding his bike, not paying attention to where the wheels take him. It’s just a coincidence that he ends up in Red Hood’s old territory. He hears from some loiterers that Batgirl had been seen roaming around just south from where he is. He keeps his patrol focused on the north side.

A beeping sound informs him that someone is trying to contact him. He accepts it almost right away.

“ Jason ?”

“Nope, it’s me, Timmy,” Dick’s voice answers.

He sighs. And cringes when he realizes he broke the no-real-names-when-in-uniform rule. He’s lucky it isn’t Batman calling him. “Sorry, Nightwing, I thought… Never mind. You need something?”

“No, it’s just that I just got here at the manor. I thought I’d let you know.”

“Oh. Is everything okay? I didn’t even know you were coming back.”

“Well, with this whole Jason is alive thing blowing up I thought I’d come home, help in any way I can. Reporters are driving B insane.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah. Also… Do you know Jason’s here?”

There is a beat. Tim presses the breaks with too much force and it’s a miracle that his bike doesn’t simply throw him away with how fast he stops.

“ What? ”

Dick chuckles over the comm. “I figured he didn’t tell you. Do what you want with this information. I’m gonna help Alfred now.”

Tim doesn’t bother saying goodbye, but he’s sure Dick will forgive him. He’s already pressing the buttons on his wrist pad to contact someone else. “Batgirl? Meet me at the cave. Now.”

It takes a lot of effort to stop Steph from storming into the manor through the main entrance in full Batgirl gear. And it’s a good thing Tim managed it, because there is a literal swarm of reporters in front of the gates and Tim wonders if anything happened in the short two hours he was out patrolling.

Once they’re in the cave, they’re careful enough to change into civies. Unlike Tim, Steph doesn’t have clothes stashed there so she simply steals a sweater from Damian’s locker while Tim checks the news.

“Someone saw the mystery man that looks like Jason Todd getting into Bruce Wayne’s car two days ago, ” he tells her when she comes out of the changing room. “How did we miss that?”

“I don’t know, you’re the tech dude,” she groans. “Maybe we hid so much crap the computer started hiding it from us too.”

It’s an explanation as good as any other and the truth is unimportant now. They climb out of the cave with unusual care, checking twice to make sure no one is around to see them emerge from the secret passage. As soon as the cave entrance is hidden, they hear altered voices.

Steph reaches for Tim’s hand when they walk towards the commotion and intertwines their fingers. One could think the gesture was a request for comfort. Tim had been friends with her long enough that it was a silent plea to hold her back if she needs to fight the urge to dropkick someone.

“... can’t simply hide him forever, Brucie!” They hear Chad saying.

Then, in a deep voice that isn’t quite Bruce or quite Batman, but that is still firm and definitive:

“If you can’t agree with me, feel free to leave. But stay aware that if you do anything to expose my son to unnecessary attention, I will not take it lightly.”

They walk into the room to find a Chad that looks somewhere between mildly horrified and extremely angry. Bruce is standing against the fireplace and he is definitely using the shadow he’s casting to appear bigger and more threatening, a trick he usually only uses when he’s wearing a cowl.

“What’s going on?” Tim asks.

“Tim!” Chad turns to him. “Get your father to see reason. I’ve been telling him that this is the perfect time to tell everyone Jason is alive. He wants to… to hide him like he’s a dirty secret.”

Tim raises an eyebrow. “What does Jason think?”

“Jason doesn’t know what’s best, Tim, he’s not okay! He has a gun in your house, for crying out loud!”

For the sake of the intensity of the argument, Tim pretends not to notice the batglare he’s getting from his father and focuses on giving Chad a batglare of his own:

“So? You have a problem with my brother?”

Steph is squeezing his hand enough to hurt. He isn’t sure who’s holding who back now.

Chad takes a step back. “You people are insane. Mom was right. Trying to help you guys is useless.”

“ That’s what you’ve been trying to do?” Steph blurts.

Chad shakes his head and storms out of the room… And just like that, Chad’s gone. Gone from their lives, hopefully forever, and if not... Tim knows last year Duke learned a lot about restraining orders.

“I was wondering when you two would come pick him up,” Bruce says. “I hoped it’d take a little longer, it’s nice having him home.”

“Where is he?”

“First… what is this about a gun?”

“First of all, it was Damian’s fault for giving him our address.” Steph shrugs. “Second of all, the gun is the least dangerous thing in Jason’s room and right now I’m more dangerous than any weapon you have, so where is he ?”

“Library.”

They bolt out of the room and straight upstairs. Tim is so caught in the relief of the biggest source of problem being gone that he gets careless. Jason always said Tim is too quick to forgive, even if he doesn’t forget, and he guesses that is true. When he enters the library and he finds himself facing a startled Jason, he’s not angry. Mildly annoyed, for sure. Relieved that his worst paranoiac fears rooted in PTSD are proven to be untrue. Concerned by the fact that Jason looks almost small, younger, maybe because he’s wearing one of Bruce’s shirts or because his expression is so off guard.

But, most importantly, Tim isn’t holding Steph’s hand anymore.

“Jason Todd, you mOTHERFUCKER!”

“No, don’t- ”

But it’s too late. She leaps and dropkicks him and Jason screams in pain and soon the two of them are literally rolling on the floor yelling insults at each other and knocking an entire table sideways. Tim sighs.

“Say uncle! Say uncle right now, you musky bitch!”

“ It’s musty, dumbass!!”

“You’re that, too!”

He sits down in one of the comfy reading chairs and waits for them to get it all out of their system. At some point, Steph is straddling Jason’s back pulling him backwards by the nostrils and he somehow is reaching back to tickle her sides and both of their gazes meet Tim’s unimpressed glower. They stop.

“You two done?”

“She started it!”

“ Bitch- ”

“Enough already,” Tim groans. He waits until both look appropriately ashamed and get off of each other. “Steph is right, though, what the fuck, Jason?”

Jason cringes, but still tries to play it cool, as though nothing unusual happened. “The news had my face, I decided to lay low.”

“And how’s that working out for you?” Steph snaps. “It took us three whole days to find you without actively looking. Bruce found you even before.”

“Also lay low hiding from what? Us?”

Grumbling something impossible to understand, he stands and crosses his arms in a clear attempt to look tough. In the absence of his leather jacket and the presence of all of Tim’s annoyance he only looks stupid.

“Look, I freaked out, alright? Me being found out was my fault.”

“How the heck is Chad’s stupid selfie your fault?”

“Because I knew it was a bad idea, okay?” Jason snaps. “I shouldn’t have sat there and made dumb excuses, I should have told him to fuck off the moment he saw my gun. I noticed him taking the stupid pictures, but I didn’t even care that I could be in one of them, I thought it wasn’t worth waking Tim up. All these months playing house and messing around with you guys made me reckless and soft. ”

Steph retreats a step as if he had slapped her.

“Okay, Jason, I’m willing to put up with a lot of angsty bullshit from you, but… Is that really what you think of us? That we’re, we’re what, bringing you down?”

“That’s not what I said!” He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“No,” Tim interrupts. “He's right.” When Steph makes to argue, he raises a hand asking her to listen. “You did grow reckless. That’s what you’re supposed to do, Jason. You’re supposed to relax and have down time and mess around with us. And if shit happens… We have each others' backs. You’d known that if you had come home, because you’d know Steph and I spent the past three days trying to cover for your stupid butt, since we knew you’d want that.”

Jason doesn’t say anything for a minute. When Steph doesn’t either, Tim continues:

“You don’t have to just survive anymore, you know? I thought you knew that when you agreed to live with us. You’re family.”

“You sound like Dick.”

“I mean, Dick was the first person that treated me like family. Maybe that’s why I was so... Hm. Never mind.”

“You’re still upset he fired you, huh?”

“No. I mean, I have been. But I know now it wasn’t personal. He was doing the best he could, even if he didn’t really understand what I needed back then. I know Dick always loved me.”

“Hm. Did you talk to him so he could apologize or did you work all that on your own and forgave him by yourself?”

“Nice try, but right now we’re talking about your issues, not mine.”

Because Steph had been awful quiet for a while - which is something highly unusual - they turn to her in question. They find her wearing her furious expression, the one that puts fear for their lives in criminals hearts, but the effect is ruined by the fact that her big eyes are pooled with tears.

“Oh shit. That’s new. I didn’t know she did that. I thought she destroyed her tear ducts when she was a kid or something. What do I do?”

She simply shakes her head. “I get you, Jay,” she says, her voice a bit wobbly. “Admitting you have something means knowing you can lose it. But is the fear of losing it worth throwing it away altogether?”

Jason pulls her into a hug. She sniffles and rubs her face on his chest, purposefully wiping her runny nose there before she hugs him back.

“I hate you so much, Jason.”

“I hate you too, Steph,” he says softly. “And, from the bottom of my heart, my bad.”

She sniffles again. “Tim, get your gay ass over here. This is a triple hug situation.”

Tim snorts and mumbles something about the fact that Dick can never find out about this or he’ll never forgive them for not including him.

He joins the triple hug nonetheless.

The trio ends up sitting on the floor, their backs resting against the table Steph and Jason knocked over. They learn that Jason had escaped to one of his old hideouts when he heard the news. He was both annoyed and creeped out to find Bruce already there waiting for him and the fucker had the gall to bring Alfred along to make sure Jason wouldn’t say no.

In exchange, they tell him Damian was offering to kill Chad on Jason’s behalf, which makes him bit moved.

“Bruce had already said everything you said, by the way,” he tells Tim. “It’s scary how you’re more like him than his own biological son.”

Tim rolls his eyes. ���We said the same thing because we’re right.”

“It almost sounds like you do want me to go out and tell everyone I’m alive.”

“I mean, yeah, but that doesn’t matter.”

“Wait, what?” Steph frowns. “You want people to know Jason’s alive? Then why did you make me spend hours sitting in front of a computer hunting tweets about this glorified zombie?”

“Because if Jason’s secret goes out, it’s for us, not for him,” Tim says. “It’s a pain to be part of a public family. We’d get to go out in public without worrying about being seen and to, I don’t know, post stupid pictures online, mock old people together in Bruce’s galas, but it also means that he would have to avoid reporters and have a double life like the rest of us do.”

After Tim finishes speaking, Steph nods as if that makes sense. Jason finds himself frowning at his feet.

“I’m gonna do it.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m gonna come out as a living person. I’ll maybe even pepper in the fact I’m also queer, just to spice things up.”

“Jay, you don’t have to…”

“No, I don’t. When it was Chad’s bullshit about me having to live my best life, I wasn’t going to, but if it’s for you guys, I can do it. Steph’s right. I can’t live a half live." His smile twists into something wicked. "And I know exactly how to do it.”

Congratulations, @JasonToddWayne! Your twitter account has been successfully created.

The first and only post is a picture of a man in a leather jacket and sunglasses in the middle of a fancy lobby. Hanging upside down from the chandelier above him is no one other than Dick Grayson-Wayne holding a flashlight right behind the man’s head to simulate a bright aura. Around him, some kneeling, some standing, but all holding out their arms towards him are all of the Wayne kids, Tim, Cassandra, Duke and even Damian. If you look closely, you can see a smiling butler on the background and, further, a shadow that looks very much like Bruce Wayne facepalming.

The caption of the picture simply says: I lived, bitch.

@dgraysonman retweeted that.

@stephssss retweeted that.

@thomascommaduke retweeted that

@babsgeez retweeted that

@BruceWayne retweeted that

The thing about being part of a scandal you purposefully caused is that you get to kick back and watch the world burn around you while you wear an evil little grin on your face whenever people ask what the hell you were thinking. Tim used to get annoyed by interview requests that had nothing to do with WE and everything to do with his personal life, but for once he enjoys watching the messages piling up and eventually saying no to all of them.

Bruce makes a brief and vague declaration about his son being back from the dead, no big deal, and he expects everyone can respect his family's privacy in this delicate moment. He gives the press just enough and refuses to elaborate. Only liars give too many details and they’re not lying. Not entirely, at least.

Of course, Jason doesn’t help by posting the weirdest freaking memes to his twitter account and, whenever someone tries to get answers from his, his retorts vary widely from “I returned from the grave to wash Damian’s mouth with soap” to “I was captured by a group of murderous ninja that dipped my corpse in a cursed pool that brought me back to life”. Unfortunately, he gets verified and no man should hold so much power.

They return to their lives, Tim in his room, Jason in his and Steph on her couch. Sometimes they even meet in the kitchen to play Uno and prank call Dick - it never works, because Dick always says he’s flattered that they wanted to hear his voice, but it’s the thought behind it that counts.

They go on patrol sometimes. By this time, the public seems to have caught on that Batgirl and Red Robin are basically a duo. Sometimes the Red Hood is included in the mix. For once, Tim doesn’t mind that they know as much.

He thinks they’re heading towards more peaceful days.

DUCK DUCK BRUISE

Duck Robin: hey stephanie what the hell

Duck Hood: Do I even want to know

Bruise: we need our own groupchat

Duck Hood: Why is it named that?

Bruise: bc we red red and purple

Bruise: u never played duck duck bruise?

Duck Robin: its duck duck goose steph

Bruise: u and i led v different childhoods

Duck Hood left the chat

Bruise added Jason Todd to the chat

Bruise changed Jason Todd’s name to Duck Hood

Bruise: u cant escape us jay

Drake Robin: one of us! one of us! one of us!

Duck Hood: Next time either of you complain about not getting laid I’ll show you a screenshot of this conversation.

Jason, Tim and Steph are walking home. It’s still day and, even if the sun isn’t quite shining because this is still Gotham, it’s nice and warm outside. The reason they went to get groceries together is because Jason had been horrified to find out that neither Tim nor Steph knew how to pick fruit and they spent a good part of their afternoon arguing over which apple was the ripest. Tim refused to get out of the shopping cart until their groceries were paid.

It had been fun.

Steph forced them to carry all the bags, arguing that she is but a frail young woman even if Tim is pretty sure she can bench press him. The real reason is because she wants to play Pokemon Go on the walk home and that’s valid, so they carry the bags. She is one of the few people of Gotham that isn’t afraid of getting mugged, so she might as well use that privilege.

A text stops her from catching a bulbasaur right before it stops her entirely.

“Steph?” Tim calls, his brow furrowing in worry.

“It’s happening again,” she whispers.

The brothers approach her to look at her phone. They’re already familiar with this at this point, so none of them is surprised to see a headline and a picture.

MYSTERIOUS BOMBSHELL SEEN LEAVING JASON WAYNE’S APARTMENT

Tim recognizes the outfits they wore two days ago on the day he snapped and forced them to take out the trash together, which ended a week long battle of wills. It’s also the day the biggest bag ripped open and an obscene amount of RedBull cans rolled down the curb. The picture is them watching the disaster. Steph is a pretty girl, but that picture is not doing her any favors. Her face is all scrunched up, as Gothamites tend to be on the rare occasions they see the sun, part of the ripped trash bag still in her hand. Jason has his hands on his hips looking like every bit of the mother hen he is and he is wearing crocs over socks (Tim has sworn to kill Roy Harper for corrupting his brother like that, making him think that’s an okay thing to do and say disgusting things like just try it, you annoying hipster, it’s comfy. )

“You know what? They called me a bombshell, I’m not even mad.”

“How come it’s Jason’s apartment? I’m literally the only person in this household with a dayjob!”

“First of all I'm an university student. Second, you only do actual work because you’re a sucker, you’re all trust fund babies. And that includes you, mr. Crime Lord.”

“Thank you, miss Eats All my Fucking Food.”

They resume their walk without reading the rest of the article. Tim thinks to himself that this is not too bad. Then it gets worse.

“Hey. Are those reporters?” Steph asks. “In front of our house?”

It only takes a glance to find out that she’s right. There is a small group of people hanging out near their apartment complex even though there’s no apparent reason to be there. Any decent Gothamite knows you don’t loiter for no reason, because you never know when the freaking Killer Croc is going to randomly pop out of the sewer or some crap. Those people are there with a purpose and that purpose involves a lot of them holding cameras.

“Yeah, I’m out,” Tim says.

“What?”

“This is the first time I’m not involved in the news. I’m going to enjoy my immunity. You two are on your own for this one.”

He turns his back to them. Enough is enough. Sometimes you just have to draw a line in the sand, let the universe know what you’re willing to put up with on that day. Tim is not willing to deal with this. He gestures at Steph and Jason not to follow him as he stalks into the adjacent empty alley. He takes a long, deep breath and shouts at the top of his lungs:

“COOONNEEEEEEEEEEER!”

Tim had never been better, or at least that’s what he tells himself 50 times in a row. He chose to be in denial and deny he will. He sits on the floor of his best friend’s room and takes a deep calming breath of the fresh air coming through the window. It doesn’t smell like gritty cities or nosey reporters at all.

Conner finally comes back and hands him a bowl of popcorn before taking a seat by his side. He turns on the old television in his room. Tim smiles.

“Hey, your siblings are on the news,” Conner says.

Tim glances at the phone Conner is holding. It’s a picture of Steph walking into their building carrying Jason in her arms as one would carry a toddler, one arm supporting his bottom and the other pointing threateningly at the camera. There is no doubt in Tim's mind that they’re mimicking the meme on purpose. He doesn’t bother reading the headline. He doesn’t want to know. He simply puts the phone aside and hugs Conner.

“I don’t want to go back to Gotham ever again. Let me live here, please.”

Conner laughs. “Sure, Ma’s been trying to get me to kidnap you for a while now.”

“Good. I’m going to learn farm work. I’ll bring honor to us all.”

“Sure," Conner pets his hair. "It’s been a whole day now. You already miss Jason and Stephanie, don’t you?”

“...yeah.”

“I’ll fly you back home tonight.”

“Thanks, Conner, you’re the best.”

Despite everything, there’s no place like home.

[yikesharringrove]

tagged by: @lostnoise ty 💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? I write almost entirely in this one specific brand of purple pen (I’ve found it helps with ye olde dyslexia) but black is the second best option. I also have a collection of gel pens, so I like those too.

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? City. But like, a smaller city is okay.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? Um, like any skill? I have none? I want to learn ASL, though.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? When I drink coffee (which is almost never) I put a lil in.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? The Gaspard and Lisa series.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? I’m the fucking worst bc when I shower, I’ll just like, lay down in the tub for a while. So technically shower.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? It’s be cool to be a fairy.

8. paper or electronic books? I’m not a huge reader, so I have a LOT of audiobooks lol. I mean, I love paper books, but I also love on electric books how I can change the font size and color and stuff.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? My banana skirt, or I have a collection of vintage band shirts from my parents, that are pretty cool. 

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? My legal name is Abigail and I fucking hate it, but I don’t want to go through the rigor of leagally changing it when everyone jsut calls me Abbi anyway 🤷‍♀️

11. who is a mentor to you? One of my professors. She’s an AMAZING woman, and she’s so wonderful. She and a few other women spoke out against one of their old bosses that sexually assaulted several of them, and they managed to get him fired and kicked off the board of a newspaper he was on. She was the first person I opened up to about my own experiencees after that.

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I think it’d be cool to be really recognizable by a certain group, so like be famous for a niche thing where those fans would recognize you, but not EVERYONE in the world would recognize you. I’d like to be an actor or a musician I think.

13. are you a restless sleeper? oh yee

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? Depends. I can be, but I also don’t really care about romantic things in general.

15. which element best represents you? um, idk. Fire, maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends that live three states away.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my friends that live three states away.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. My earliest memory is of driving in the car listening to DMX with my mom, which describes her pretty well.

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’ll put really anythign in my maw. I’ve been lucky to travel a lot and I’ll try anything, so I’ve eaten sheep liver, and bull testicle, and pig brain, and cricket.

20. what are you most thankful for? The opportunities in life I’ve had.

21. do you like spicy food? oh yeah

22. have you ever met someone famous? Yeah, I have some good stories lol

23. do you keep a diary or journal? I try to. It’s helpful for me to write things out, I’m just bad at actually doing it daily. I’ve been keeping one for the past few weeks pretty well though, since there’s been a lot on my mind.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? I fucking hate writing in pencil.

25. what is your star sign? taurus/aries

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy!!!! I only pour a lil cereal in at a time so that it doesn’t get soggy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? That I was kind.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I’m not a big reader, so again, audiobooks. I just finished Always Look on the Bright Side of Life: A Sortabiography By Eric Idle of Monty Python and I really liked it.

29. how do you show someone you love them? my love leanguage is giving/recieving gifts, so I give a lot of stuff. Like jsut little things, like nice post it notes, or like, by them a coffee or smthn

30. do you like ice in your drinks? depends

31. what are you afraid of? amounting to nothing, that everyone hates me, being a failure, letting my family down. To name a few

32. what is your favorite scent? I realy like floral scents, or good food cooking, or like, pine.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? If I don’t know them well, it’s title and surname, but I have a lot of middle aged adult friends, so they’re first names always.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel the world.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I’ve only been in the ocean a few times and I’ve only swam in it twice, but that was to snorkel and my sister and I swam with leopard sharks and it was amazing, but it’s easier to swim in a pool lol

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? If I saw the someone dropped it, I’d give it back, but if not, mine. 

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? I’ve seen a lot and I wish on all of them.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? To love, to be soft and kind and giving, but to understand when to be hard and put yourself first.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have a lot of plans. The first one I get is gonna match with my sister, in memory of a friend of ours.

40. what can you hear now? I’m listening to some music

41. where do you feel the safest? In my room in my apartment. I’m subleasing to a friend rn bc I had to move back in with my parents for quarantine :/

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My deeply ingrained feelings of not being good enough.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I would like to live in the late 60s-early 70s for a bit. See good artists when they were up and coming, go to Woodstock.

44. what is your most used emoji? 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. cold

46. what do you regret the most? Moving back home, tbh.

47. last movie you saw? I watched Gremlins. I went to the drive in the other day with my sister and we saw The Goonies and Gremlins.

[chiseler]

Kazan, Covid, Etc. -- Another Amazing Letter from Composer David Amram

Dear Daniel:

Thank for this nice message, to help fill the first day of the New Year with some POSITIVE ENERGY!

I'm so happy that you could see The Arrangement.

It was based on Elia Kazan's book of his own life story, describing  his struggles in reconciling his Old World/New World identities.

If someone could interview me, I can rap out a whole article in 35 minutes TOPS (in sentences and paragraphs) as I have told the stories to friends numerous times since 1969  about all the adventures getting the mistrustful but GREAT traditional musicians  from Greece, Turkey, Egypt and  Morocco into the recording studio with symphony players and even having to have the musicians ask Kazan for his driver’s licence o prove it was really him since they couldn't believe he would come to the Egyptian Gardens on 8th Ave with me to hear them. And how he prepared a banquet of Middle Eastern food and bottles of Retzina wine at the recording studio before we played a note and paid them in fresh 100 dollar bills BEFORE we began recording.

He explained to me hat he understood how they felt because as a child he had come here with his family as immigrants and remembered the mistrust that every one just off the boat felt!

I am so swamped and such a slow typist, it would take me a week to write it all up, and…. I am  swamped, working on my fourth book, a new commission and over 200 e-mails to answer and re-scheduling 20+ concerts which were postponed during to Covid

BUT….You know how much I love Chiseler and all you do so let's find a way to do it!

I can speak on my cell or on ZOOM

The past few months have been a crash course in dealing with the unknown and finding a way to survive and appreciate being alive when so many friends aren't that fortunate. Being forced off the merry-go-round makes us all think and re-think about what we are doing in our lives and why we are doing it. I have had a chance the last few months to have enough time to realize that we are all just like a group of good natured moths floating around a great outdoor lamp, hoping not  to get stuck on any nearby  flypaper as we circle about, hoping to get some of that holy light to shine on us.

i finally realized that  the only way to deal with this addiction is to develop your OWN inner light, become your own version of that  lamp yourself, and shine it on all our other fellow moths so that they can do the same for all their friends and family.

Last March,  I was really  psyched up up  to hear my latest piece Global Suite for Winds, Brass and Percussion, where its world premiere  was scheduled to take place in December of 2020 at Harvard. The university had commissioned me to compose it and had invited me to be  there for  the premiere, which was a kick=off  for a whole week-long series of events in Boston, all to celebrate my BIG 90th .

Since I couldn't even get into Harvard when I applied in 1948, it was a real thrill to be commissioned by them to compose this piece.

I was in the home stretch of completing the final movement last March (three  months ahead of my deadline for the  first rehearsal) when I heard the news that Cyrus the Virus was taking over the world and that all concerts and public events were either being cancelled or postponed for EVERYBODY!. Suddenly all 13  events scheduled to take place over the USA and overseas  celebrating my upcoming 90th were either postponed, rescheduled or were in limbo!!

When people asked me how I felt about  that, I reminded them that when Miles Davis created his masterful 1959 album Kind of Blue, he  named one of his great songs So What.                                                                              

I also mentioned that Robert Frost said, at the end of his life that he finally understood what life was all about . He said…."In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

And as my favorite Scottish 18th Century jazz poet Robert Burns said "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry "

So we have to count and share our blessings and remember the old prayer veahavta lereacha kamocha  (from from Levitcus 19:1819:18), which tells us to love your neighbor  as you love yourself (as well as your own family and friends.).

Every major religion in the world has a form of this prayer as a fundamental for how we should behave towards  one another….. and it's FREE advice!!!!

Because this way of living has no price tag,  that doesn't mean that this advise is worthless

Like most ancient forms of wisdom which have survived for 1000s of years because they WORK, this simple prayer  is PRICELESS!!

So you don't need a badge, a secret handshake, a Guru with a limo, a psychiatrist or a dope dealer to feel good!

This prayer is the basis for what we call The Golden Rule.

Recently I spoke to Sonny Rollins  on the phone.We have known one another since 1955 when I was playing with Mingus and are the same age. I asked him if he was o.k. up in Woodstock, since he can't play anymore and is housebound

He said he was fine, but that all of us were so fixated on the Virus that we forgot about the Golden Rule and that we should devote ourselves to following it each day as our number one priority!! "That's all I think about" he said."We are all just here for a while and then turn to dust. But the spirit lasts forever"

So we all have to all find a way to use this time in a constructive way rather than freaking out with desires of returning to the old AB-NORMAL. The rallying cry of Full Greed Ahead is now on hold, and we are all now forced to slow down a little.

In spite of all the current craziness, the new year of 2021 will be a NEW BEGINNING, just like Phoenix rising from the ashes!!

Cyrus the Virus will soon be in the same solitary basement broom closet along with our now FORMER EX=Shyster-in-Chief.

We can soon all celebrate that they can both finally be ignored as has-beens, stored in  the back of the broom closet of  the Museum of the Deservedly Forgotten

We can all take a deep breath and on New Years Eve sing a verse of Woody Guthrie's classic farewell song "So long it's been good to know ya'

I told my daughter Adira that since I couldn't get a MacArthur Grant in order  to be able to sit at home and compose music day and night, I now am the recipient of the highly coveted Cyrus the Virus Composer's Grant and can sit at home and write music day and night . And I didn't even need to apply for this. So  if we stay the course….in 200 years …..EVERYTHING WILL BE COOL!!!

In the meantime, let's enjoy every precious second of life.

Our best days are yet to come!!!!

With big hugs (properly social distancing, I send you and your wife, Ratso and his wife and the great Natalia and all her friends wishes for  fun celebrating of ALL of the Holidays…….. (Hannukka, Christmas, Kwanza,  Ramadan, New Years, Martin Luther King Day, Chinese New Year,  Puerto Rico Emancipation Day, Lincoln's Birthday.St Patrick's Day, Armenian International Womens Day, and Billy Holiday herself!)

Until our paths cross again,

Naches and Nachos

David (STILL a promising young composer,

in spite of my speedometer assigning me

to becoming a Nonagenarian) ...

[nickelkeep]

Slice of Your Pie

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Naomi/Zachariah Rating: Mature Word Count: 6900 Warnings: Homophobic Language, Sexism, Dean going off.  On Ao3

It wasn't like Gabe to call before noon. Usually, because Castiel was working and Gabe knew better, but also because Gabe would be in the middle of a busy shift at one of his bakeries. Castiel hesitantly picked up the phone, grateful for the week off from his job.

"Gabe, are you in prison?"

"Come on, Cassie. Is that the only reason I would call you?" Gabe's voice was boisterous yet nervous. "I'm just checking in on my favorite baby brother."

"I'm your only baby brother." Castiel pulled the phone away from his ear to confirm the time. "Shouldn't you be elbow deep in flour or something, right now?"

"Nope. All three shops are under control, and I took the week off to fly in. Staying with Mom and Dad, you know?" Gabe's happy charade was faltering, and Castiel had a feeling of what was coming. "It's always great being home. Especially when I get to spend time with my favorite brother."

"Still, your only brother. Did Anna say no to you crashing at her place?" Castiel leaned back in his couch and kicked his legs up on the coffee table, careful to not disturb the stack of papers he had been grading.

"Anna's out of town until Thanksgiving, and something about she doesn't trust me to not burn down her house."

Castiel laughed. "That's a legitimate concern. Are you asking to crash here?"

"Actually, no. Mom and Dad have left me alone, for the most part." Gabe let out a heavy sigh, as though he had been burdened with the most laborious task on the planet. "Are you coming for Thanksgiving?"Castiel pulled the phone away and looked at the clock on it for the third time. "Gabe, have you been drinking?"

"Look, I told them it would be pointless, but they didn't listen. They want all three of us there for the holiday. Dad said he's getting up there in age, and he wants to be surrounded by his children and non-existent grandchildren."

"Like he's getting grandchildren from any of us." Castiel rolled his eyes. "No. I'm not coming."

"You know that's not going to fly." Gabe suddenly sounded exhausted. "Me and Anna will be here."

"Great, then he's got his two kids, happy marriage and white picket fence. Make sure you pick up a dog for him before you leave."

"Castiel, please. Don't make me beg. Or sic Anna on you."

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut. "Anna's smart enough to not call or to tell our parents to piss off."

"It's just a couple hours on one day. You can cold shoulder them and give them the good old silent treatment." Gabe's voice took on a subtle hint of pleading. "Help me get them off my case and yours."

"I'm much happier spending my Thanksgiving at home with take out and a movie marathon. I might be alone, but at least I'm not getting attacked every other word out of their mouths." Castiel rubbed his forehead, trying to erase the thought of going to his parents for the holiday.

"That was one year, Cassie."

"Excuse me? What fiasco have you been watching?" Castiel stood up and moved to the kitchen to get a beer. "'Why are you single, Castiel?' 'Are you over your phase, Castiel?' 'Castiel, are you going to find a nice woman and give us grandkids?'" Castiel scoffed. "Don't even get me started on the digs they take at my job."

Gabe took in a suction of air, indicating that he was working on an idea. After a pause, he spoke up. "Bring a date."

"Right, like I'm going to find a guy to date me in less than a week." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"There are escort services, Cassie." Gabe paused. "Wait, that's it. There's also Craig's List. See if you can find a date for the day."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm serious, hop on, look in the area, and check out casual encounters. That's got to be someone else looking for someone to spend the day with."

Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed his laptop off the coffee table. "I thought that was for more... intimate encounters."

"HA! Like I'd send you to that part of the website. I certainly don't want to picture my baby bro doing the do with a dude."

"But, you just want me to bring a random person to Mom and Dad's to keep them off your back and mine." Castiel cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he typed in the address for Craig's List. "Look, I make no promises. If I don't make it, you can tell them that their worst fear came to fruition."

Gabe laughed. "That you married some random guy behind their backs, and you're moving to Venice to be Gondolier Captains."

"Maybe that one would push father over the edge." Castiel laughed. "Maybe this isn't a bad idea. I'll call you tomorrow with a definite answer. You and I both know either are good."

"That's my Castiel." The warm affection caused Castiel to smile. "Please give it a sincere look over, ok?"

Castiel promised to give it the old college try and disconnected his call with Gabe.

He pulled up the Casual Encounters section of Craig's List and was surprised to find out how right Gabe was. Many people were offering their services for Thanksgiving company. As he scrolled through the ads, one with an interesting title caught his attention.

Alone on Thanksgiving? Want to stop the ‘Why are you still single?’ questions?

I’m a 35-year-old guy with a GED and a loud, beautiful muscle car that’s older than I am. When people try to guess my age, I get anywhere from 32-38 depending on if I’ve taken the time to put on clothes that aren’t holey jeans and flannel shirts and do my hair. I work as a cook in my friend’s restaurant and tend bar for an aunt when I need extra cash. So if you’re looking for a platonic person to be your SO for a day, I can do it.

I am bisexual, so I don’t care if you’re male or female.

At your request, I can:

Hit on family members (including your parents).

Start an argument over politics and religion (I’m a liberal atheist).

and/or

Propose to you (I have a ring that works perfectly for this).

I can also act drunk as a skunk, but I personally don’t drink. I’ve been sober for a few years now. Need a ‘drunken’ fistfight started? I’m your guy.

I’m not looking for payment other than the free meal that comes from accompanying you.

Castiel smiled. This was perfect. It was a guy, he would appear to be less than to his folks, and he promised that he could cause a ruckus. Castiel quickly clicked the contact link and got their number to text them.

[1:00 PM Castiel:] Hi, I just found your add on Craig's List. Is your thanksgiving dinner date offer still open?

He waited several minutes, scrolling through a few more adds, just in case, when his phone's notification for a text message went off.

[1:07 PM 555-555-6767:] Hey, yeah. I didn't think anyone was interested, or it got buried. Name's Dean. You?

Castiel smiled, this crazy idea might actually work.

[1:09 PM Castiel:] My name is Castiel, and I am very interested in you pissing off my parents.

Castiel hit send and realized he needed more information about the random stranger he invited to Thanksgiving with him. As he got ready to send a request to meet in public, Dean beat him to it.

[1:12 PM Dean:] Interesting name there. You free in about an hour to meet? Would kinda like to see you and talk to you before I conform. It also sells the dating thing better. [1:15 PM Dean:] Any particular place where we can meet?

Castiel sighed out a breath of relief before sucking in a breath of panic. Where could they meet?

[1:17 PM Castiel:] A cup of coffee or tea, maybe? I only know of Right Ground, but they're good.

[1:19 PM Dean:] Oh hell yeah! My friend is the owner. The petite redhead?

[1:20 PM Castiel:] Charlie, right? I've seen her a couple of times.

[1:22 PM Dean:] Perfect! I get off soon and can head right over.

[1:24 Castiel:] Sounds good. What should I look for?

[1:30 Dean] Black Impala. She's my pride and joy. If you're looking for me, Sandy Brown hair, Green Eyes, lots of freckles, and uh...

[1:31 Castiel:] What?

Castiel tilted his head in confusion as he waited for Dean's reply. Was this going to be where he mentioned he had a humpback?

[1:36 Dean:] I'm a bit bowlegged. I've been told it's a bit of a turnoff, but I figured I'd be honest upfront.

Castiel let out a laugh of relief.

[1:38 Castiel:] There is nothing wrong with bowlegs. I've heard they make some things easier. 😘

As soon as Castiel sent the message, he instantly wished he could take it back. Instead, he quickly sent a follow-up message.

[1:39 Castiel:] I'm going to go get ready. See you in about 25 minutes.

Castiel let out a huff of air while waiting for lighting to strike, or a boulder to be dropped on him.

[1:41 Dean:] LOL! See you soon, dude. (Dude, right?)

Castiel didn't get a chance to respond as he quickly hopped in the shower and got ready to meet Dean for the first time.

…

Castiel had arrived slightly ahead of his and Dean's arranged meeting time. He didn't see a black Impala anywhere, and when he walked inside, there were no men that matched Dean's initial description. Castiel headed to a corner seat that he normally tried to grab when he went to get coffee and found it surprisingly empty.

He sat down, facing the entrance with his back against the wall. A little kernel of self-doubt starting to grow in the back of his mind. Charlie was behind the counter, and he briefly wondered if Dean texted her to tell him to keep an eye for him.

Castiel went to grab his phone to check the time when the low rumble of a muscle car stopped him. He stole another glance at Charlie, and a huge smile crept upon her face. Castiel looked out the front windows. Dean's black Chevy Impala pulled into a spot, and out exited Adonis himself.

Dean didn't give himself enough credit when he described himself. The sandy brown hair was styled short and looked as though it would be soft for Cas to run his fingers through. And the freckles! Dean was a walking star map, and Cas wanted to trace his fingers along the freckles he could see. The only thing he couldn't see were Dean's self-proclaimed green eyes.

Once Dean entered the cafe, Charlie yelled to him and ran out from behind the counter. She wrapped her arms around him and started animatedly yelling at him for not checking in often enough. Dean graciously accepted her punishment and walked further into the shop. Castiel could finally make out the bowlegs that Dean appeared to be self-conscience about. If anything, the legs emphasized everything perfectly.

Castiel shook his head once, twice, and a third time for good measure. This was supposed to be a professional business interaction. He stood up while sliding out of the booth and walked over to Dean and Charlie. "Hello, I'm sorry for interrupting, but are you Dean?"

Charlie looked at Castiel and smiled before looking back at Dean. "You come to my shop for a date, Winchester? Not to see me? I'm offended. Now you don't get that slice of pie." She punched Dean in the shoulder.

"Hey! It wasn't my idea, it was Cas'. He said he liked your coffee." Dean looked at Castiel.

"He is right, I can show you the text message." Castiel reached for his phone in his pocket before finding his hand being swatted away. 

"I believe him, and you. Gotta give the old man shit, though."

"Old man?" Dean blinked in shock. "I'm offended."

Charlie shrugged and walked back around the counter. "If you two want drinks, get up here and order before we have the final rush of the day."

"After you, Cas." Dean gestured. "Also, is Cas ok? Not sure how to pronounce your full name."

"Cas - Tee - Ell. But Cas is fine. If anything, it would infuriate my mother and father more." Cas smiled. "My brother calls me Cassie, I hate it, but I let him get away with it."

"Okay, one brother. Any other siblings?" Dean smiled at Cas.

Cas blushed from Dean's smile, "I have my brother Gabriel and my sister Anna."

"Are they part of the deal? Or are they off-limits?" Dean asked. "I mean, I clearly know you want me to go after your pops at the very least."

"You can jab at them if they jab at you." Cas conceded. "Looking for someone to come with me was actually Gabe's idea. So he may not appreciate being a part of the prank."

"Okay. We can play that by ear."

Cas tilted his head. "You said you wanted to see if we clicked before you agreed to the whole thing."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Dean winked. "So, tell me about your parents?"

The pair got up to the counter before Cas could answer, and Charlie sat down two cups in front of them. "Dean, black americano with room for cream. Cas, if I remember correctly, spiced chai latte."

"Thank you, Charlie," Cas responded as he went to grab his wallet.

"I threw it on Dean's tab. You two have a fun date." Charlie winked at them and shooed them so she could get to the next customer.

Dean blushed and looked at Cas and mouthed Sorry before picking up his cup and walking over to where they kept the cream.

Cas took the opportunity to grab his booth back and waited for Dean to join him. "So, you asked about my parents?"

"They're the targets, right?"

"Yeah." Cas nodded and took a sip of his drink. "My mother is Naomi, my father is Zachariah."

Dean held a finger up as he finished taking a drink. "Your family highly religious?"

"What gave that away?" Cas tried to hide his disdain, but by the look on Dean's face, he wasn't doing a good job.

"Gabriel, Castiel, Zachariah... Pretty sure there's a Naomi in the bible too." Dean placed a finger on his lips. "Not too sure about Anna."

"Prophetess in Luke's Gospel," Castiel responded.

Dean nodded in quiet contemplation. He paused a moment, and Castiel could see the gears turning. "Safe to assume you're gay or bi?"

"Very much Gay. I've been told it's a phase my whole life. My parents keep asking when I'm going to bring a girlfriend home. You're the first 'boyfriend' I'm bringing home." Castiel took another sip of his drink.

"Got it. What do you do for a living?"

"High School English Teacher." Cas scoffed. "Reason number two hundred fifty-one I'm a disappointment."

"Being a teacher is a disappointment?" Dean shook his head. "Well, I'll make sure that they know I'm a cook by day, bartender by night. I'm sure they'll love that."

"Your sarcasm is perfect. They both hate sarcasm, despite it being their first form of communication." Cas leaned back in his chair. "They definitely look down their noses at people too."

"Well, I'm sold. Food, chaos, and spending time with an attractive man?" Dean rested his elbows on the table and rest his chin on his knuckles. "This may be one of my best Thanksgiving in years." Dean winked. "What time should I pick you up?"

…

Over the next few days, Cas found himself texting back and forth with Dean frequently. He kept trying to remind himself that it was just so they could get to know each other so they could pass off as a couple on Thanksgiving. However, with the way that Dean flirted, it was harder and harder to keep that line from blurring.

[Wednesday 3:47 PM Dean:] Hey Cas, I know I'm supposed to be an asshole, but should I attempt to bring something with me?

Cas laughed, picturing how his mother would react if she were brought a gift from Dean.

[3:49 PM Cas:] You don't have to bring anything at all, although the image of my mother turning up her nose is both amusing and disappointing.

[3:51 PM Dean:] So, bring a six-pack of cheap beer. Got it.

[3:52 PM Cas:] You're incorrigible.

Cas found himself setting a special notification for Dean's text messages. He fought hard against doing it, as they were going to go their separate ways after Thanksgiving. Still, it seemed like something you would do for a significant other.

He heard the notification go off, and he picked his phone up again.

[4:00 PM Dean:] If I were a betting man, I'd bet that you liked it though.

Cas found that he couldn't disagree.

…

Cas' parents, completely surprised that he was coming and bringing a date, asked Cas to arrive around 3 PM on Thanksgiving.

Dean showed up at 1:30 PM.

"Hey, Cas." Dean stood in the doorway to Cas' apartment and leaned against the doorframe.

Cas couldn't help the smile that grew across his face. Dean was dressed up in a nice pair of jeans with a black tee-shirt and an open deep red button-up. "Hello, Dean." He stepped back to let Dean in. "You're early."

"I hope you don't mind. I was a little nervous." Dean smiled sheepishly. "Meeting the parents is kind of a big deal."

"That was the whole deal, Dean. You join me, free dinner, you make them regret telling me to come to dinner."

Dean's smile dropped a little, so slight that Cas almost missed it. "Right. I knew that."

"Everything okay, Dean?" Cas stepped closer and placed his hand gently on Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah, of course." Dean's face betrayed his words, but Cas let it go. "I figured I could also come over and help you load anything that might need to go with us in the car."

Cas frowned, unhappy at seeing this side of Dean. "Want to take a seat? We have some time to kill."

"Actually, can I hit the head? Then we can pack up Baby. You said it takes about 45 minutes to get there on a good day, and there is some traffic."

"Yeah," Cas responded as he pointed to the hallway. "First door on the left." He watched as Dean stepped away, wondering what changed so drastically.

Dean quickly finished up in the bathroom and found Cas in the kitchen, juggling a casserole and a couple of pies. "Dude, please tell me your pies are good."

"As long as they don't hit the floor, they should be." Cas smiled and allowed Dean to take them off his pile. "I remember Charlie teasing you about pie, so I stopped in special to ask what kind you like."

"Pecan?" Dean asked, a huge grin coming back across his face when Cas nodded. "Dude, you went to Charlie to ask her? Why didn't you just ask me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise, to thank you for this week." The next words escaped Cas' lips before he could stop them. "I'm glad that at the very least, I got to make a new friend out of this."

"Well yeah, Charlie's awesome," Dean responded without missing a beat.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I mean you, Dean."

"I, uh..." Dean's cheeks flushed scarlet as he stuttered over his words. "You're awesome too, Cas."

"Come on, then, let's go load up your car." Cas held up the casserole dish and nodded his head towards the front door. "Sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave."

The pair of them quickly loaded up the car, and Dean handed Cas his phone to punch in his parent's address. The first few minutes of the drive were quiet, as Cas appreciated the roar of the engine. 

"So, uh, Cas." Dean broke the silence once they got on the highway. "Question for you."

"I'm listening." Cas looked over at Dean and took a moment to admire his outline, highlighted by the sun. 

"Well, we determined that we've been together for a few months and that we met when you came by my place of work. But, uh, are you ok with a little PDA to sell it?" Dean's cheeks turned bright red again, as though he were embarrassed to ask.

Cas slid a little closer to Dean to be able to reach his hand and hold it. When his skin brushed against Dean's, it was as though sparks of electricity shot through his body, and Cas shivered involuntarily.

"Okay there, Cas?" Dean stole a glance at Cas and smirked, before returning his eyes to the road.

Cas nodded as he found his words lacking. They enjoyed the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, only the music and the occasional hum from Dean filling the car.

Once they arrived, Cas took a moment to look at Dean and give him a final once over. The shade of red he was wearing was enticing and made his freckles and eyes pop more than Cas would have thought possible. It had taken all of Cas' willpower to not trace over them with his finger.

"Ready, Cas?"

"I am." Cas nodded before looking up at their dreaded destination.

The pair got out of the car, and Dean took Cas' hand before going to the trunk. Cas looked down at their hands and felt a soft warmth against his cheek. He turned to find that Dean had kissed his cheek.

"Sorry, I should have asked first." Dean apologized, running his free hand through his hair.

"Dean, you already asked, and I had given you permission." Cas smiled and let out a little sigh. "Let's grab the stuff and get this over with."

Dean popped the trunk and handed the pies to Cas, grabbing the casserole, before closing it back up and following Cas to the house. Cas had shifted the pies to one arm and rang the doorbell. His hand immediately went back to Dean's, and he tried his hardest to not let his nerves show.

"You don't just walk into your parent's place?" Dean tilted his head in confusion. "Even if you don't get along, isn't it home?"

"This place has never been home, Dean," Cas replied, clipping his response as the door opened.

A stoic, cold woman answered the door, looking down at them, despite the pair being taller than her. "Castiel. You came." She scrutinized Dean more thoroughly. "And you brought a friend."

"Mother, I told you I was bringing my boyfriend." He turned to look at Dean and smiled. "This is my significant other, Dean."

Naomi's lips pulled in to a tighter pout. "That term wouldn't be correct, Castiel. Come in. You know where to set them up." She stepped back into the house, allowing them entrance.

"I make two pies and your favorite cheese and spinach casserole," Cas mentioned as he walked past. "I'll need to borrow the oven for five minutes once the turkey is done."

"I don't know, Castiel." Naomi picked up her pace to walk in front of them. "You should have asked if the oven would be available to cook things in."

Dean stared in disbelief at the way Naomi was talking down to Cas. "You mean you can't spare five minutes to make the cheese gooey again? I didn't realize heat was a limited resource."

"Excuse you?" Naomi placed her hand on her chest in shock. "Castiel, you will keep your friend in line."

"Boyfriend, Mother. But he's right. This is your favorite dish. I made it just for you. You don't want it warm?"

Naomi rolled her eyes as the pair set down their food offerings. "I'll figure it out." She glared at Dean. "Why don't you go find your father? He should be in the TV Room watching the game."

"Football. Sure. Let's go, Cas." Dean watched as Naomi cringed at the shortened version of her youngest son's name.

Cas tried to not laugh as he led Dean to the TV Room. He leaned in close to Dean to whisper about Zachariah. "Dean, he absolutely hates his name being shortened to Zach, and he hates the Eagles."

"Oh, I am all over this." Dean winked and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulder.

"Father?" Cas inquired as they entered the room. 

"Castiel. You came." His eyes traveled to Dean. "And you brought a friend."

"This is my boyfriend, Dean." Cas felt the words falling easier from his lips. "Dean, this is my father, Zachariah."

Dean unwrapped his arm off Cas' shoulder and extended his hand to Zachariah. "Please to meet you, Zach."

Zachariah stiffened, and his eyes became cold as ice. "Zachariah, please." He took Dean's hand and shook it.

"Of course, sorry about that, Zachariah. I'm just a nickname kind of person, ain't that right, Cas?" Dean took his hand back and wrapped his arm around Cas' shoulders again, leaning in to touch their foreheads together.

Cas could see the vein in his father's forehead start to throb. "Castiel, do you have no respect for your name?"

"I do, as does Dean. But my name is archaic, and sometimes it's just easier to shorten it." Cas looked at his father and stood his ground.

"Hey, I'm sorry, Zachariah." Dean stepped between the two. "Cowboys vs. Eagles, right?" He pointed at the TV.

"You watch sports?" Zachariah asked, his doubt not hidden at all.

"Hell yeah!" Dean hopped over the back of the couch and landed next to Zachariah on the sofa. "Just cause I like to suck a dick every now and then, doesn't mean I can't like sports." He leaned forward and grabbed some crackers off a platter on the coffee table. "Oh shit, Eagles up, 21-3! Fly Eagles, Fly!"

"Castiel, a word!" Zachariah demanded, scrambling out of his seat. Dean looked at Cas in worry, not relaxing even when Cas gave him a gesture indicating he'd be fine.

Cas followed Zachariah into the kitchen, where Naomi was mashing potatoes. "Who is this bastard friend of yours?" Zachariah hissed, grabbing Naomi's attention to join in.

"He's not a bastard, and he is my boyfriend," Cas emphasized the word boyfriend for the umpteenth time since arriving. 

"You are in a phase, Castiel. We've found some nice girls who are very interested in you." Naomi added. Before she could continue; however, the front door opened, Gabe and Anna walking in.

"CASSIE!" Gabe called out, causing both of their parents to cringe. "You came home!" He dropped Anna's duffle bag in the foyer and bolted into the kitchen, trying to pick up his younger brother in a bear hug. "You seriously need to stop growing!"

Anna walked up behind Gabe and pushed him to the side, wrapping her arms around her younger brother. "Hello, Castiel. I've missed you." She pulled back and offered an apologetic smile. "Gabriel told me you were bringing your boyfriend to dinner. Is he here?"

"Castiel's friend is in the TV Room," Zachariah responded before Cas could. "And he is a rude, ungrateful, little prick."

"I can assure you it's not little." Dean walked into the kitchen. "Sorry, I heard the commotion, and I just wanted to make sure Cas was ok." Dean walked over to Cas and wrapped his arms around Cas's waist. "Gonna introduce me, babe?"

Cas melted into Dean's embrace, allowing their actions to cross into new territory. "Dean, this is my older brother Gabe and my older sister Anna."

"I've heard all about you two." Dean lets go of Cas long enough to shake their hands before holding Cas again.

"Well, why don't you all go into the TV Room. Your father and I will finish up dinner." Naomi responded coldly, clearly annoyed by Dean's presence.

"That sounds like a plan. Get that damn football off the TV." Gabe responded.

"But the Eagles are winning. They're hands down the best team in the NFL this year, wouldn't you agree, Zach?"

If looks could kill, Zachariah would have killed not only Dean but all three of his children as well. Gabe, sensing his father's temper rising, herded Dean and his siblings out of the kitchen. "Jesus, Cassie, where did you find this one?"

"Took your advice." Cas shrugged.

"Word to the wise?" Gabe looked at Dean. "Keep him."

"Dean, you don't happen to have any siblings, do you?" Anna asked.

"Brother, half-brother, and an adopted sister. I'm the oldest." Dean tilted his head. "Why?"

Gabe and Anna exchanged looks before Anna followed up with another question. "They single?"

Dean laughed, a rich, warm sound that made Cas melt. "Sammy's not. I don't know with Adam, but he's the youngest of us all, barely legal. Charlie's single, and flaming lesbian."

Anna looked at Gabe. "Sorry, guess I win this round."

"Wait, Anna, you too?" Cas' head tilted in shock and confusion.

She looked over Cas' shoulder to see if their parents were listening. "Bi, Castiel. I'm Bi."

Castiel looked in shock at Anna, then turned to Gabriel. "Are you going to drop a bombshell on me too?"

"I don't care about gender?" Gabe responded.

"What? When?" Cas palmed his forehead and sat on the sofa.

Both Gabe and Anna had the decency to blush. Anna responded first. "I figured it out in college."

"I've dated many people over the years, Cassie. I just didn't always bring them home to mom and pops." Gabriel added.

"You're so much braver than the both of us," Anna whispered. "You brought Dean home with you."

Dean sat on the sofa next to Cas and wrapped his arm around him. He leaned in and quietly spoke into Cas' ear. "Want me to prank them, too?"

Cas burst out laughing, shaking his head and throwing his arms around Dean's neck. "I know why you two did it," Cas stated while hugging Dean tight. "I don't even think I can be mad."

"Dinner time," Naomi announced, appearing in the doorway to the TV Room. "We would appreciate no hanging all over each other at the table, Castiel." Naomi turned her nose up and walked back towards the kitchen.

"Let's go knock out this wonderful holiday, shall we?" Gabe clapped his hands together.

The dining room was awkwardly quiet as the all entered and took their seats. Naomi stood at her place and looked at Zachariah. "Grace, Dear?"

Zachariah nodded and clasped his hands together.

Lord, bless this food and grant that we May thankful for thy mercies be; Teach us to know by whom we're fed; Bless us with Christ, the living bread. Lord, make us thankful for our food, Bless us with faith in Jesus' blood; With the bread of life our soul's supply, That we may live with Christ on high. Amen.

When none of his children nor Dean responded, Amen, Zachariah cleared his throat. "I said, Amen."

Gabe and Anna quickly said it, and Castiel murmured it, but Dean refused to say it.

"Dean, is there something wrong with your voice all of a sudden?" Zachariah shot another deathly stare at Dean.

"Nope, my voice works just fine. I just don't do religion." Dean shrugged. "Guess you could say I'm an Atheist."

Cas flinched as he heard his mother gasp and prepare to yell at him. However, before she could get a word out, Dean spoke up.

"Are you about to yell at Cas? Cause Cas says Grace before every meal. I respect that he does. You know why?" Dean picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and scooped a heap onto his plate. "Cause Cas doesn't force me to believe something I don't. He's kind, he's caring, and he's understanding. Clearly, you two didn't teach him that." Dean scooped a heap of potatoes on Cas' plate then passed the bow to Anna.

"How dare you!" Naomi spat. "You are a guest in this home."

"Yeah, let me tell you how guestly it's felt since I entered your house." Dean stabbed at the plate of turkey on the table and grabbed a few slices for himself and a few for Cas. "You both refuse to acknowledge my relationship with your son. You both have looked down on me for being a man who is attracted to men and women. God forbid I slip that I work two jobs." Dean smiled sarcastically. "Oops."

Dean passed the fork to Anna, who was staring at her mother as though she would explode. "You know, Naomi. How would you feel if I told you the farce between you and Zachariah here were invalid and not real?"

"We are one man, one woman. That's how it was created. You don't find any instances of your perversion in nature." Naomi gripped the edge of the table.

"Actually, Mom," Anna spoke up. "This last trip for NatGeo? I told you where they sent me. I was in the Savannah. I saw gay and lesbian animals everywhere."

"And the rangers released a document saying that the animals learned it from homosexual humans." Zachariah pointed sharply at his daughter. "You will speak when spoken to."

"You're going to tell the smartest person at the table to shut up?" Dean let out a low whistle and took a bite of a roll he had grabbed. "Man, I'd listen to everything she has to say. She works for National Fucking Geographic." He turned to Cas. "I'll still talk books with you all the time, though, sweetheart." He leaned in and kissed Cas' cheek.

"I said there would be no hanging over each other!" Naomi slammed her hands down on the table.

Dean snorted. "Me, kissing Cas' cheek, is not hanging all over him." He rested his hand on the small of Cas' back. "I bet a hundred dollars if Anna had brought along a boyfriend, or Gabe a girlfriend, you'd call a kiss on the cheek cute."

"Leave." Zachariah's voice sent a chill through the room. "Gabriel can take Castiel home."

"Like I'm going to leave Cas here to take more of your abuse. How long have you been telling him that he's wrong?" Dean whipped his head to Naomi. "How long have you been calling him a pervert?"

"We've never called him that." Naomi defended.

"Mom, you literally just did." Gabriel finally spoke. "You just called being Gay a perversion." 

"Castiel isn't gay," Zachariah spoke up.

"Yeah, he is, Dad." Anna stared at her father. "And I'm bisexual. When I told you two about my boyfriend, Rupert? I was actually talking about my girlfriend, Ruby. Ruby and I broke up, and I couldn't properly mourn that relationship because I didn't have a mother who understood me."

"Well, if we're all coming out. I have slept with more dudes than I have fingers." Gabe added. "I've also slept with as many women. I've slept with as many non-binary people. And you know what? I've also slept with Trans people. Love is love, and attraction is attraction."

Naomi looked as though she were about to faint, and Zachariah pointed a knife at Dean. "This is your fault."

"MY FAULT?" Dean yelled, finally raising his voice. "I just met Gabe and Anna today. They were queer long before I met them. I'm dating Cas, who came to me and asked me out. Tell me how this is my fault."

"You made them think it was ok to share this information."

"And you made them feel like they were less than nothing. You're the problem here. Not me, not a single one of your children."

Cas stared at Dean in awe. No one had ever come to his defense so quickly, and here Dean was also defending his siblings. "Dean, I think we should go."

"That's the first smart thing you've said all night, Castiel." Naomi snapped.

"Oh no, you did not." Dean turned to face the Ice Queen at the end of the table. "Did you seriously just call my boyfriend stupid? You know, your youngest son? The person I fall for more and more each time I talk to him?"

"You know nothing about this family, and you came in here and–"

"Ok, Boomer." Dean cut Naomi off, and Gabe spat out his drink laughing. "Cas, let's grab the food you brought and head back."

"Get out of my house!" Zachariah shouted.

"Already working on it." Dean shot off a one-fingered salute and stood up with Cas and followed him to the kitchen.

Dean quickly found the two pies, while Cas found his casserole hidden in the fridge. He pulled it out and frowned, showing Dean. "She was never going share."

"Cas," Dean set down the pies and took the casserole, setting it down as well. He pulled Cas into his arms and held him tightly. "I'm sorry if I did too much."

"I think you could have kept going." Gabriel entered the kitchen. "Cassie, you brought pies? Trying to one-up me?"

"Dean likes pecan pie. You usually bring pumpkin." Cas melted into Dean's embrace, determined to make sure it wouldn't be the last time Dean held him like that.

"Touché." Gabriel let out a sigh. "Got room for two at your place?"Anna entered the kitchen. "Go pack your things, Gabe." She looked at Cas. "Your address still the same? We're not staying here."

"You're just going to crash with me? How do you know I don't have a roommate?"

Anna cut Cas a look. "You two are a new couple, you haven't moved in together yet."

Gabe called to them from the foyer. "Let's roll before they figure out how to trap us here."

"Coming, Gabe," Anna replied. "Meet you at your place, Cassie?"

Cas' face lit up at his sister calling him a nickname - even if it was one he wasn't particularly fond of - and not Castiel. "Yeah. Same address." He reluctantly pulled out of Dean's arms and grabbed the casserole, placing it in Dean's hands. "We should escape too." Cas picked up the pies and followed Anna out of the kitchen.

"Yes, sir." Dean smiled and followed the siblings out of the house.

…

Once back at Cas' apartment, this time with two siblings in tow, Dean helped Cas get the food in the house and prepared to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Gabe tilted his head in confusion, a trait all three siblings shared.

"I messed up a lot for you guys today. I'll let the three of you have your Thanksgiving together."

Gabe and Anna looked at Cas, who took Dean's hand into his. "I know we haven't been together long."

"Yeah, when did you find him, Monday, after we hung up?" Gabe smirked.

"Shut up, Gabe." Cas, Anna, and Dean said in unison.

Cas waited to see if Gabe would say anything else before continuing. "When I did this, I didn't think it would be more than a business arrangement. But I want this to be more. Please, Dean?"

"I'm not sure why, you still want that after today, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want more with you." Dean pressed his forehead against Cas'.

"Well, that settles it." Anna smiled. "Welcome to the family, Dean."

While Gabe and Anna set up in the guest room, Dean called up Charlie, and Cas ordered some Chinese food. Within a few minutes, Charlie was banging on Cas' door, bringing gifts of rolls and croissants and coffee from the Cafe. The two fiery redheads were introduced and instantly hit it off.

Their dinner arrived shortly after, and they all curled up on the various chairs and sofas together. They took turns picking movies to watch and created their own Thanksgiving.

As the night crept upon them, Charlie apologized but reminded them that she had to get up early for Black Friday shoppers who would hit up her cafe for coffee and breakfast. She exchanged numbers with Anna and told them to not be strangers.

Dean got up to go, and Cas grabbed his hand. "You said you're not working tomorrow. That the restaurant was closed for a long weekend."

"I did." Dean smiled at Cas. "I also don't want to impose. You have a full house right now, and I'm not sure if Gabe or Anna are claiming the couch."

Cas tilted his head in exasperation. "Did you think I wanted you to sleep on the couch?" He looked around, Anna had run to the restroom, and Gabe went to go grab a couple more of the chocolate croissants Charlie had brought. "I want you to stay with me tonight."

"You do?" Dean swallowed - hard. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want you to." Cas stood up and led Dean back to his bedroom. "We don't have to go that far tonight," Cas added as they entered the room. "I'd actually prefer that we didn't.

"This is new, but it feels like forever at the same time." Cas continued, "Did you mean what you said?"

Dean wrapped his arms over Cas' shoulders. "I've meant every word I said today, but what phrase comes specifically to mind?"

"That you fall for me more and more each time we talk?"

 Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips against Cas', a soft caress that left them breathless. "One-hundred percent, Cas."

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #187, #188, & #189

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:04 PM] Bocaj: 187 issues later, still fantastic but not necessarily still four [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Eh, they're still pretty Fourish [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Unless you count Franklin I guess [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sure, Thundra, Greer, and Impy have been around a lot lately, but Greer insists she's not part of the team and Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Also, Impossible Man's been KO'd by an unseen assailant. [02:06 PM] Wack'd: Also true [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, on the plane ride back from New Salem, the team recaps a little [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Agatha left that place in the hopes that others have her kind would be encouraged to join her, and she blames herself for raising Nicholas badly [02:07 PM] Wack'd: These are, again, the kind of details it might've been nice to have during the actual story so we could wring something out of them [02:08 PM] Bocaj: "Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others" I posit that Johnny and Ben historically haven't always played well with others [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Sometimes a family is that cat woman stray you adopted, the woman from an alternate universe where men are considered the weaker gender until you slammed her universe into another, and that annoying alien [02:09 PM] Bocaj: We'll call him the 'urkel' type [02:09 PM] Wack'd: Let me rephrase that to "are openly contemptuous of others and seem hesitant to do even the bare minimum to lend aid" [02:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but in a different way from Impossible Man, who literally nobody except other Popuppians can stand to be around. [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Ok well thats different [02:10 PM] Wack'd: The Four discover Impy, knocked out but apparently unharmed. Sue worries that whoever did this might still be in the Baxter [02:11 PM] Wack'd: We can also add to George Pérez to the long list of comics artists who are bad at drawing children but very good at drawing tiny adults

[02:12 PM] Bocaj: George Pérez can draw a lot of things, in terms of range and also in terms of numerical things on a page but children are black magic that eludes him [02:13 PM] Aleph Null: i relate because children are also black magic that eludes me [02:13 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny flies outside to look in all the windows while Ben decides to go floor by floor. Reed is out out because they made a plan without him and Sue has to heal his fragile ego [02:13 PM] Wack'd: “Without my stretching powers, I'm not really good enough to be anything more than a nursemaid!” [02:13 PM] Bocaj: fuck off reed [02:14 PM] Aleph Null: can we retitle the blog to “fuck off reed” [02:14 PM] Wack'd: This is a nice moment

[02:15 PM] Wack'd: Honestly I like how forgiving everyone is being of Agatha. Not that anyone on this team has room to throw stones [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Oh my god Johnny is also like "man, running off on my own like I always do probably hurt Reed's feelings" [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben runs into KLAW! [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Ulysses Klaue Klaw? [02:17 PM] Wack'd: Whose shtick at this point is still being made of sound and also being able to fire sound monsters at people [02:17 PM] Wack'd: And not, you know, having a claw [02:17 PM] maxwellelvis: His artificial hand is his claw. [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey it's this guy

[02:19 PM] Bocaj: oh thats a bad look [02:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's not that guy. That's a different guy. [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Back in #20 he got the ability to alter non-organic matter because he was exposed to an atomic incident [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Since then he's had a couple of appearances in the 70s, one in Two in One and one in Iron Man [02:20 PM] Bocaj: The guy I knew as Molecule Man is a multiversal bomb [02:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Wait, I saw that guy shrivel up and disintegrate when separated from his wand for too long. [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:22 PM] Wack'd: This got undone in the Iron Man appearance I mentioned [02:22 PM] maxwellelvis: oh [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Where he also gained the ability to possess people [02:23 PM] Bocaj: There was a shitty Avengers Assemble episode about Son of Molecule Man [02:23 PM] Bocaj: It had a stylistic flashback to EMH [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Given how fucking often these books are like "oh, they killed him, he's gone for real" and then in a completely different book he comes back to life and then he returns to his original book with a long winded explanation... [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure why you would've assumed that he was actually dead [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Because this time he left behind a body. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: That doesn't mean anything! [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, a pile of dust in a ragged old Molecule Man costume. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: At the end of his first appearance the Watcher aged him into oblivion [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Agatha filling the role of "lady who tells Reed to suck it the fuck up" now that Medusa's gone

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben gets turned into glass, Johnny is drowned in midair, Sue is...uh...

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Sure, that's how that works [02:29 PM] Wack'd: And Reed tries to fire on the two but his gun is turned to helium and he's knocked out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: Okay so uh [02:31 PM] Wack'd: In the aftermath of that Iron Man I mentioned, Klaw found Owen's wand, with Owen's mind trapped inside, and gave it to a guy he met on the street so Owen would possess that guy [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The narrative notes that the guy was a boxer so I should probably also note that the guy was a boxer in case it becomes relevant [02:33 PM] Wack'd: So! The Four are incapacitated! Who cam save them now! [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Why, Impossible Man, of course. Not because he cares about the team, but because he's angry that someone defeated him in combat [02:34 PM] Wack'd: Impy can shapeshift so Molecule Man can't really do much to him [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And Impy removes his ears and makes himself into a non-sound-conductive material so he's immune to Klaw [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And then he kicks their asses [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Owen had been planning on using Reed's psi-amplifier (from that time Ben and Hulk switched brains) to make it so he could keep his ass in this body forever [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But Reed manages to cut the cord mid-process, sapping Owen back into his wand [02:36 PM] Wack'd: And undoing all the damage he caused [02:36 PM] Wack'd: AND THEN REED PICKS UP THE WAND WITH HIS BARE HANDS, LIKE AN IDIOT [02:37 PM] Wack'd: W E L P

[02:38 PM] Bocaj: Basically Lunella becoming Smartest was long overdue because Reed is dumb [02:38 PM] Bocaj: Someone needed to explicitly be smarter than him or else it would be very sad [02:39 PM] Wack'd: Don't think it's escaped my attention that this is our second evil Reed storyline in which Reed isn't actually evil [02:39 PM] Bocaj: Hm [02:40 PM] Bocaj: At least it’s not an evil Sue storyline [02:40 PM] Bocaj: Those are bad in many many ways [02:40 PM] Wack'd: If Gerry Conway's read on the Reed/Sue divorce arc was "if they're going to split up it should be because Reed does something truly ghastly", it seems like Wein's was "people seem to really want to make Reed a jerk, so how do I do that without altering the fact that he's genuinely a nice person" [02:42 PM] Wack'd: I loathed Conway's take, but Wein's is even worse because it denies the idea that Reed has anything to be culpable for. It seems like people have been shilling him constantly recently--Sue noticing Counter-Reed is unaffectionate to spot the ruse, Ben assuming Counter-Reed is obsessively watching the Negative Zone because he wants to save his counterpart, Counter-Reed immediately becoming a selfless paragon when his headache wears off [02:43 PM] Wack'd: And this issue, too, with everyone but Agatha assuming Reed is entitled to authority and feeling bad for hurting his feelings by doing their own things [02:44 PM] Wack'd: Maybe I'm being uncharitable because he's the cripple-the-b**** guy, but it does really seem like he sees nothing wrong with Reed's normal pattern of behavior and is mildly baffled anyone would. Which would fit well with his aesthetic of overwhelming nostalgia [02:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:46 PM] Wack'd: So Reed's brain is trapped in Owen's wand now [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Ben destroys the Psi-Amplifier so Owen can't take over Reed's body permanently [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Owen, in retaliation, traps Sue, Johnny, Ben and Impy in an adimantium cube [02:48 PM] Wack'd: While he goes to blow off some adimantium rage [02:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Spider-Man and Venom ~ Maximum Carnage (Genesis) - Main Theme [02:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his heat to expand the air in the box, forcing it open, but it takes basically everything he's got [02:49 PM] Wack'd: You would think everybody in that box would die a million times of heat stroke but I guess not [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to question the presence of Adamantium in an FF story, then I remembered that A. it's past 1975 now so Wolverine is a thing, and B. Len Wein is one of Wolverine's co-creators. [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: And I think he first coined "Adamantium" to describe what his claws are made of. [02:51 PM] Wack'd: Watcher has gone from a white Grey to a fat bald guy to a Tor Johnson character

[02:53 PM] Wack'd: Watcher is still not talking, which Ben takes as a sign of apathy [02:53 PM] Wack'd: "Why don't you go to sell tickets to a funeral," he asks [02:54 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, my favorite Tom Hanks movie

[02:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You should make'em bugs!" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Credit where it's due, I think this is genuinely the coolest monster design we've had in a while! You can see some remnants of the Kirby aping that still, in 1977, has not worn off, but it feels novel applied to brick and mortar, and I love the arrangements of the windows and the way the structures on the roof jut out of it's shoulders

[02:59 PM] Wack'd: Reed agrees to stop resisting, and the building returns to normal [02:59 PM] Wack'd: And then his friends show up and Reed starts resisting again [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Thanks to that resistance, Owen can't do anything to our heroes directly, and has to settle for transforming their surroundings [03:00 PM] Wack'd: This would be a lot simpler if they just kept the "no organic matter" limit from his first appearance [03:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Blame Steve Gerber, I guess. [03:01 PM] Wack'd: Impy tries to hit Owen with a giant mallet but Sue stops him because she doesn't want to hurt Reed [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Impy takes it well

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Reed's body gets knocked out anyway [03:06 PM] Wack'd: But while this renders the Reed inside of Owen's wand unconscious, it sends Owen into spasms of pain [03:06 PM] Wack'd: Causing him to release his grip on the wand, dropping it into a nearby factory furnace [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And so normalcy is restored--OR IS IT?! [03:07 PM] Wack'd: Reed's decided to resign from the Four [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And Sue's going to join him because "I already deserted my husband once, I'm not going to do it again" [03:07 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* [03:08 PM] Bocaj: 😐

Thur Aug 22 2019 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #189 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Is a reprint of Annual ’66 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [03:10 PM] Wack'd: As if there weren't enough reasons to hate Wein, it certainly seems like a lot of issues get delayed while he's around [03:11 PM] Wack'd: This is the second in less than ten issues [03:11 PM] maxwellelvis: That might explain why Chris Claremont took over Uncanny X-Men almost immediately after Wein revived it

[rebellect-writes]

[SIZE=1] [b]Name:[/b] Jess. [b]Age:[/b] 21. [b]How did you find us?:[/b] I blame Danni AND Joe.

[b]Name:[/b] Victoria Eden Moreau. [b]Nicknames & Aliases:[/b][LIST]Eden Morrison; Fake ID, obviously. Tori Babe. Vicky. Toria. Psychotic Hell-Bitch. [/LIST][b]Age:[/b] 35 [b]Date of Birth:[/b] August 7th, 1977. [b]Gender:[/b] Female. [b]Sexual Orientation:[/b] Heterosexual. [b]Occupation:[/b] High school PE teacher, former supernatural and occult hunter.

[b]Species:[/b] Lion. [b]Description:[/b] [IMG]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ERJonp0xx1s/Tnqd6kffXjI/AAAAAAAAArE/NWtjP-3SVXo/s640/002-LIONESS-RESTING%2540body.jpg[/IMG][LIST]If it looks like a lion, smells like a lion and growls like a lion, it’s obviously a domestic house cat ready to bite your face off. Victoria’s animal form is pretty average, there’s nothing remotely distinctive about her. She may look a bit ragged at time, but the large tawny gold cat is hardly going to blend in with the UK scenery no matter what. In her feline form, she weighs in at 400lbs of muscle and tamed aggression and stands at 3’6 at the shoulders. From her nose to the tip of her tail, Vic’s a pretty average 8’3. [/LIST][b]Do you have a hybrid/alpha form?:[/b] [URL=http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2010/136/b/b/__Lioness_Line_art___by_sirius_spirit.jpg]Indeed she does.[/URL][LIST]Her hybrid form is more for show than anything else, just something to give her a little extra kick when her full feline form doesn’t provide her with it. She doesn’t turn into some raging half beast, half woman form either. Standing a little taller than her human form at 5’11, and weighing in at 280lbs, she’s covered from head to toe in golden fur and looks like the perfect mix of feline and human. She has claws in this form, never forget that, and fangs, and oh! She can talk even though it’s a lot more growly than her human voice is. [/LIST][b]Rank:[/b] Adwar. [b]How long has your character been a lycanthrope?:[/b] 24 years (infected at age 9). [b]Mind-Set:[/b] Dominant. [b]Power level:[/b] Alpha. [b]Abilities:[/b] [LIST] [*] [b]Speed:[/b] Like all lycanthropes, she’s fast on her feet and can move faster than the human eye can see if she uses her alpha speed. [*] [b]Strength:[/b] She’s stronger than your normal human. She’s not the strongest lycanthrope out there due to her size, but she can go head to head with a vampire and with a bit of luck, over power them. [*] [b]Durability:[/b] Victoria can heal almost any wound like most shifters can, bar decapitation and wounds caused by fire and silver. Wounds caused by more dominant lycanthropes and vampires heal slower. Almost human slow. [*] [b]Senses:[/b] Vic has extremely acute senses like most shifters. She can sometimes tell when someone’s lying to her face by the change in the other persons scent. [*] [b]Partial Shifting:[/b] She can shift hands and teeth into those of her animal or focus on shifting into a full blown hybrid form instead of a full shift from human to lion. [*] [b]Block A Vampires Call:[/b] It takes a bit of energy on her side but she can block out the call of a vampire up to 900 years old and extend that shielding to weaker werelions. Anything over 900 hurts her too much to block. [*] [b]Shield her Beast:[/b] She can lock her animal aura away and pull off the human vibe to most lycanthropes except from stronger alphas, and in some cases, stronger Master vampires since from her experience, they can force her lion to show itself. She does this on a day to day basis when it comes to her job. [/LIST][b]Face Claim:[/b] Charlize Theron. [b]Description:[/b] [IMG]http://www.topnews.in/light/files/Charlize-Theron5.jpg[/IMG][LIST]Victoria isn’t that outstanding to tell you the truth. She’s almost you’re typical blonde – though she’s got a thing for dying her hair other colours at times. She’s got the curves and the legs but the eyes, they’re not human. As a result of staying in her animal form when she as younger for longer than she should, her eyes are those of her lion’s. Of course, she hides them behind hazel green contacts that she never takes out unless she has to do so, she knows better. She’s pretty slim; and only 5’9, and a half inches tall, weighing in at 140lbs of toned muscle, that it’s pretty easy to work out that she’s fond of working out and keeping fit.

She’s not one for style; Vic just doesn’t understand the appeal of having the latest fashion accessories. Of course that doesn’t mean she doesn’t splash out on things like makeup now and then, but that’s purely for work interviews, she finds it works a hell of a lot better being ‘appealing’ then being herself. Whatever works huh? She’s more comfortable in reliable jeans and t-shirts; a nice pair of boots doesn’t go amiss or a leather jacket. Since she’s hung up her hunting gear though, there are fewer holsters for weapons. When she’s at work, its sports gear. Tracksuits for when it’s cold out, shorts and polo-shirts when it’s warmer.

Identifying marks are a little easier to describe. She has her fair share of scars, though most are long since faded. The most notable ones are what look to be claw marks curving down over her right hip. They’re just three jagged lines really, and she doesn’t talk about them ever. Her second most notable scar was given to her by a hunter that thought he was being clever and had all the time in the world, he put a silver hunting knife through her shoulder and left it there so it burnt her after he’d incapacitated her. Now, she’s not a fan of big tattoos but she does have two small ones of her own. A koi fish above her right ankle, and a small flower on the top of her right foot. The flower was gotten on a whim, but the koi is supposed to represent strength, determination, and persistence in the face of adversity. The only other thing that comes to mind is that her ears are pierced twice on both sides. [/LIST][b]Weapons of Choice:[/b][LIST] [*] Fangs, claws, full blown lion form. It’s fun to get messy! [*] She rarely hunts these days, so she’s hung up her holsters. [*] She does have a butterfly knife she carries regularly. [*] Has a necklace with a small vial of holy water attached. Just in case. [*] A white gold charm bracelet with holy items from different faiths. [/LIST][b]Special Skills:[/b][LIST] [*] She used to – and still does if a hunt crops up that tickles her fancy – ingests holy water to stop vampires from taking a bite out of her. Since she hasn’t hunted anything since late 2008, it’s not going to bother any vampires unless she starts up again. [*] She knows how to fight, mostly brawling and that’s what she relies on. However she’s dabbled in Krav Maga (grade: G1), and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (grade: Purple belt) over the last 10 years. It always surprises people when they learn this. [*] She can speak French and Italian, not fluently but enough to get by, she’s also learning German and in the future, hopefully Spanish unless she forgets. [*] Gets and knows the basics when using guns. She’s more a blade kind of girl anyway. [*] Not a half bad thief, - when she needs the money - if she does say so herself. [*] Did a three year “general” sports course followed by her PGCE and QTS. She’s pretty proud of that, so don’t knock it! [/LIST][b]Personality:[/b]  [LIST]Victoria isn’t actually that loud of a person in most respects, she’s the type of person that would rather sit and wait and have something to say rather than open her mouth and spew a bunch of pointless words just to hear the sound of her own voice. Then again, she was an ‘attack dog’ for a long time, and when you’re beat as a kid to learn how to hold your tongue, things sort of stick to you. When she speaks, she doesn’t raise her voice in anger unless it’s to get a point across – and when she does need to get a point across it’s normally accompanied by a blunt object of some sort if need be -, but she does get listened to. It just another part of whom she is, people just think she doesn’t have something to say when in actual fact; she’s just watching and waiting for a chance to pounce. She knows that she’s not the most relaxed of people, that’s for sure. However when you get past the creepy silence, she does brighten up a bit. She’s a loyal lass and keeps her word, even though she has her trust issues, but she doesn’t always think things through fully. She’s used to bulldozing her way through issues in her life, and then dealing with the fallout afterwards. Protective of what’s hers. Practical and strong willed she’s not likely to be cowed by someone playing mind games; in fact the last time someone tried that, she broke their arm without blinking.

She even smiles, though it’ll often be accompanied with a wiseass remark or comment. It is almost like she’s care free and forgets about all the crap she’s gone through to get where she is today. She’s loving and caring, hell she even cares though it doesn’t normally come off as most would expect it from a she-cat that could snap at a moment’s notice and become a big cat. While it may look like she has no control over her animal side, she’s got it, people have assumed that she has next to none and that has been their downfall. Oh yeah, she’s more than a little mental! If you push her, she’ll push back, only most people seem to forget she’s more on the animal side then most shapeshifters are and she loves that. She’s not afraid of her animal instincts and embraces them to the point that sometimes she doesn’t want to be human anymore but then she sees what she has and pushes to be normal.

Her views on vampires are slightly [i]skewed[/i] however. Having been used by a lion calling master for years, she has a distaste for anything over a hundred years old, sure she can curb her tongue and be civil to the creatures but present her with a lion caller – even Mikhail got snapped at – and she’ll do everything in her power to make it clear that she won’t become another and she won’t allow anyone in the Pride to be one either. This can be displayed in sarcasticness, threats and violence and promises of death. She just doesn’t like the creatures that can bend her like a crazy straw if it suited them. It’s driven by fear, something she’s not exactly sure how to react to and falls back on her more comforting animal nature to deal with it. As far as the rest of the supernatural world, well, as long as they don’t try and harass the Pride or start something they can’t finish with the people she cares about then she won’t bother them. [/LIST][b]Likes:[/b][LIST] [*] Swimming. [*] A good strong drink after a hunt. [*] Taking to the country roads on her bike and just driving until she can't. [*] Making known bullies fear her. Doesn't matter if they're kids or adults or anything else. [*] Spending time in her lion form, she doesn't do it as much as she used to do so. [*] When she can surprise someone by doing something. [*] Reading when she can get five minutes peace, normally during first break at work. [*] Not being dragged into supernatural turf wars, she joined the pride to stop that. [*] Protecting the Jackford pride. Bradon Mackenzie gave her a home. [*] Chinese food. Don’t ask her why, she just does. [/LIST][b]Dislikes:[/b][LIST] [*] Getting a ticket because she’s left her bike in the wrong place. [*] People that don't pull their own weight. You either sink or swim. [*] Being touched in lion form by people she doesn't know. She tends to bite [*] Having to clean her apartment. If it doesn't bother her, she doesn't bother it! [*] Parent/Teacher night. She'd take a feral shifter over that. [*] Doctors and medical types. Being poked and prodded? No thanks. [*] Being cornered. Have you ever seen an angry lion cornered? It's not nice. [*] Vampires that force themselves on others. It's not so bad when it’s voluntary. [*] Poor weapons maintenance. What is wrong with some people? [*] Being told she's over emotional just because she's female. [/LIST] [b]Strengths:[/b] [LIST] [*] Very familiar with her feline form, she shifts quicker because of this. [*] Doesn’t care if she gets hurt. In fact, she’d put herself in the firing line to save people she cares for. [*] Good tracking skills, urban or otherwise. [*] Isn’t easily backed down with threats and tends to laugh when they’re given. [*] Trusts her gut instinct rather than follow others unless she trusts them. [*] Loyal to people she trusts. Sometimes, even to those that just put up enough money. [*] She can hold her tongue and temper in check if she wants. [*] Knows a bit about witchcraft and the herbs used in most healing balms.   [*] Very fast and agile, good for when she’s working with heights in the gym. [*] Still has a fair few contacts from her days as a hunter that she calls up when needed. [/LIST][b]Weaknesses:[/b] [LIST] [*] She has a bit of a one track mind at times. [*] Doesn’t always notice when she’s treading on thin ice. [*] Silver. She may’ve been a lion for a long time, but that stuff still hurts. [*] Comes off antisocial at times. [*] Her anger issues tend to put a crimp in certain things. [*] She doesn't have a good grasp on that 'relationship' thing. It's been [*] Practical in a way, she won’t blink twice at putting someone down if it means protecting others. Even if she's seen as a monster afterwards. [*] Doesn't trust many people at her back. There’s like four people out of billions. [*] Tends to spend a lot of time in her lion form, pushing the limits. [*] Can rarely tame that persistent stubborn streak. [/LIST][b]History:[/b]  [LIST]Thomas and Natalie Moreau never took another hunt once they found out that they were due to have a baby together. They were hunters by blood, marriage and by trade; they did everything to stop the supernatural from infecting their ‘world’ and to keep people safe, but they would not endanger their soon to be daughter and in the august of 1977, their baby girl Victoria was brought into the world kicking and screaming like any normal babe and her parents officially hung up their weapons holsters and retired as hunters. Thomas took on a new job as a property developer that worked in and around Lancaster where they lived, and Natalie worked full time as a house wife. Together they doted on their child as Victoria grew up, giving her anything and everything that she wanted. Like any princess, she even had a pony at one point.

The happy little family however was torn apart just before Victoria’s ninth birthday, as the small farm house that the family owned was torn apart by rogue werelions and wolves, headed by a particularly vicious vampire who seemed to know all about her parents who were shocked by his apparent survival. The scariest thing of all for Victoria wasn’t that lions were everywhere or big werewolves; it was the Asian vampire Khan. The right side of his face was thick with holy water scars, the eye socket a gaping hole and mouth a jagged gash. Khan was one of the very few vampires that had ever escaped her parents, and he delighted on tearing through her mother’s mind and body as a werelion held her father back. When Khan was done with Natalie, he turned his attention to Victoria and forced a rather nasty looking lionman to tear into her young body before simply snapping her father’s neck. She should’ve died, would’ve died except werewolf alpha Jacques Rousseau had other ideas.

The wolf didn't take pity on her, far from it. When Victoria regained full consciousness now and again, she was told that she was Khan's new 'pet'. What better way to scare off hunters than by using the spawn of two fairly vicious hunters against them, it was put to her, before she was told that she had only survived because she'd contracted lycanthropy. Being a young lass, she didn't believe it. She screamed and raged and howled for her parents thinking it was a bad dream. It was only really brought home when Jacques, sick of the whelps screaming brought in a lion to teach her a lesson. Miranda was only slightly less cold than the werewolf, but under orders, she tore the beast from Victoria's body. Over and over, and over. Eventually, Victoria started to submit and forget about being who she really was and it was exactly what Khan wanted. Oh he had his pride and pack of bumbling misfits that had been thrown from their various clans for treasonous acts or for having broken the law, be he didn't have one animal at his command that would do simply as he asked, no if's buts or maybes.

By age 14, Victoria was a feral but suitably tamed little lion. She would sit pretty for Khan when he wanted to make a point in a business deal and she’d attack when given the order. Her first real kill wasn’t a goat or even a chicken; it was a frail old woman that owed Khan housing rent for staying in a housing complex he owned. Victoria snapped her neck and left her body where it dropped much to Khan’s displeasure and as a punishment she was put in the fight rings that one of his acquaintances ran. She tried her best, she really did. She’d gone from a pampered princess as a human, to a killer. Her fall from grace was bloody and violent and was brought to a sudden stop when she was put face to face with a full grown adult and alpha lion in the ring. She survived, but was sold on for being a failure to Master Khan and everything that she had been trained to hold dear.

After being past from vampire to vampire, and even the occasional knowledgeable human that knew of the supernatural and dabbled, Victoria ended up on a black market of sorts, nothing but a lost cause. She was stuck in a small cage for days, surrounded by other troubled souls such as herself, left to starve and in filth. Supernatural species of all shapes and sizes came and went sold off to the highest bidder as slaves that worked, fucked and various other things or prey for something else altogether. She even had a plan; she was going to attack the first handler she could get her hands on and hopefully have one of them kill her. Except, instead of a handler that came through the backstage area, it was something else entirely. He was young enough if a little older than herself, he was scared going by his scent, and he was…attractive for a human stumbling around in the dark. He changed her life the moment she had his scent. He left her alone in a loading bay however, such a hero for being forced into a nightmare of a fairy tale.

Free of the life she knew, Victoria did something that went against everything that had been beaten into her. She ran. For over two years she lived wild and on the move, most of her time in lion form and when she had to return to human form, she stole what she needed to survive on her own. Clothes from washing lines, food from market stalls if a hunt failed and the like, she even went as far for a while as to steal and fence property for money even though she never really needed it. However it worked out for her, though when she noticed that her eyes had stuck as those of her lions, she made it a personal mission to stay in human form more and more to get used to that form again. She even tried to talk to people; mostly farmers or hikers that crossed into her ‘territory’ at the time.

Once she was happy that she could return to being around people, Victoria ended up in Cardiff where she befriended a young couple that had lost their children to supposed gang violence and were so down on their luck that she couldn’t not help them even though she was barely considered an adult herself at the time. What the couple didn’t know was that it was supernaturally related violence that lost them their kids, so Victoria being the stereotypical cat riddled with curiosity looked into for them while she helped fight off bailiffs and other idiots that wanted to break her friends down more. She followed her gut instincts and tracked down the people that had been known as suspects in the community. It was teens mostly, desperate to rebel against the rules that their parents had set down but then she hit a lucky break, a werefox informant came forward to talk to her. Well, it was more warn her away from snooping because things would get ‘unpleasant’. She threw that fox out of a second story window… and then went back to searching.

It took her a year and she was roughly eighteen when she found the person that had ordered her ‘friends’  children be removed – her cat had claimed them as Pride even though she hadn’t known them long at all – and was marginally surprised to find out that it was a werelion male. The dominance battle was brutal; she was only a young woman and not used to the fighting the male easily won and inserted his dominance over her, claimed her as his ‘mate’ even though she’d clawed on of his eyes out with her own fingers. It was a huge leap and all that was really expected of her was to open her legs, be a submissive little waif of a woman that cowered behind the big bad lion. Well, she did as what was expected of her and after he was finished removed his head from his shoulders using the element of surprise. She disbanded the males operation – yes, in some cases she used violence – and the money that had been going towards other things, she sent to her friends before vanishing.

Bouncing around the UK for the next four years, Victoria picked up odd hunts here and there. A fey running a coven of witches and assuming Godhood over a town was dealt with, a Naga in Devon was told to move on because he’d started a turf war with the local snake clan. It was silly stuff really but the payment was ok. She managed to grab a job on an international freighter headed for America, and by the time she was 22 she landed her rear in Flordia. No papers, no money that she could spend easily, she was effectively back to when she was released from that cage by the scardy cat of a boy. It didn’t last long, America was so different and there was a lot of supernatural activity as well as human crime. She made her way as a supernatural bounty hunter of sorts, and not the legal kind most of the time. She was a monster hunting monsters, ironic huh?

Twenty three years old, she was still roaming the USA like she had done in the UK. Only this time she was more well off; and while she wanted to settle down somewhere she couldn’t unless she contacted the Pride that controlled that area. From what she’d seen since she’d actually come to the States, was that most of the USA Lions were a mite traditional, meaning that it was the woman’s job to do all the work. Since she had no interest of being a Pride gofer, she just spent her time on the road, staying in motels for a week or so or squatting in old properties. That’s when she got an interesting hunt, and came across someone she’d never thought to see again. Jothial Chapman. The little boy that had freed her had filled out, he was a man now and if she hadn’t got up close and personal to catch his scent, she wouldn’t have really known that it was him.

Stubborn male pressed her buttons though, and rather than outright kill him, she threw him through a wall and opened herself up to attack from the beast that she was hunting. She almost lost her life that night, and would’ve done so if her lycanthropic healing hadn’t worked its wonders on her battered body. She watched as Jo blasted the creature to nothing but ash and cinders before she even hinted that she knew him. Of course, it came out that she was a werelion and a hunter, and he was a bit iffy about the fact in her mind. Victoria expected him to kill her for being evil, instead they teamed up together and took on the evil that thought it could get past the Witch and the Lion.

They were together a year, hunting monsters that broke the laws of various things, putting themselves in the line of danger. What she failed to act on was the feelings that had stirred in her by being in close quarters to Jo. She never acted on them because she didn’t know how even though they were pretty intimate. She gave him and his creepy familiar the space and time they needed and Jo gave her the same thing. Honestly, Victoria would’ve said something sooner if she hadn’t made herself visible to a vampire that could control lions in the area. The last time she saw Jo was he was drooling into his motel pillow and that marked the end of that. She vanished without a trace using every means necessary to avoid detection. She hadn’t left him out of anger or anything; she’d left him because she was scared that the vampire would use her against him.

She ran from one vampire and lions and into another vampire, and ironically it was another lion caller a year or so later. This one was different though, he was older than anything she’d come across and Mikhail seemed just as surprised that she was a lion working as a bounty hunter. Victoria found herself drawn to this one, he didn’t abuse his people and he claimed New York as his city. Rather than run off again or try and kill him, Victoria struck up a bargain with the vampire master. She’d work for him as security and a hunter if she was needed as long as he didn’t try to call her and bend her to his will. Mikhail agreed and they went their separate ways for awhile. While in New York City, Victoria settled down in her first real apartment. She didn’t want to run anymore, but she had no idea what to do. Making that apartment as her base of operations, she spent the next few years learning how to be normal. She got a job, went to night school, made a few friends that weren’t anything that she was used to. They were simply normal. She did get called in to do some hunts for Mikhail every now and then, but they were neither here nor there.

Then in 2005, she returned to the UK after saying goodbye to Mikhail and the lions that she’d grown used to more confident in herself and happy enough. There was an ulterior motive for her return though; Mikhail wanted her to pass through a place called Jackford every now and again to make sure one of his fledglings in the local Kiss was doing ok and rather than argue or brush him off with a smile and a nod, Victoria agreed on the understanding that she wouldn’t tie herself to one place for so long unless he helped her out finding a reason to stay. By the end of July ’05 she was studying to become a Physical Education teacher after a brief course as a teaching assistant at primary school in York - which wasn't that far from Jackford so it suited her - but maybe she should’ve been clearer in what she wanted huh? She didn't stay there for long and by the end of 2010 she was a full-fledged teacher working at Jackford’s comprehensive high school teaching children about sports and how to stay healthy three days a week and spending the rest of the week bouncing between Pride duty and her own time, which she used as time to search for the odd hunt to keep her claws sharp and she's stayed there ever since ducking and dodging the crazy that was worse than her. [/LIST][/SIZE]

[linrinsstuff]

Kōyō Yamamoto - IT1

My current progress so far... I feel optimistic and I think we may finally have a lead. I want to build up our progress and do whatever possible to prevent falling back to square one.

The time is 6:35 pm. I am currently driving at 60km per/hour, no sign of anyone driving past me. It almost seems odd. I usually see the same brand and the same bland colours of cars zooming past me like lightning every minute I drive. And believe me, it doesn't take long.

I am making my way to a workshop on the outskirts of the city. The man I'm about to present myself to is, Kenzou Hibiki. He's age seventy-one, not married, and no children based on his information according to Maro. If I were, to be frank, my mind and body aren't looking forward to visiting a stranger. I'm not sure if I can call him a 'stranger' with all the details we've gathered. Although he doesn't know us, and we've never met properly in person. Maybe? You know what? strangers will do. I haven't been too keen on the idea of visiting him. I should be asking myself why. Well... it is due to his compulsive addiction with... pills.

I forgot to mention that the man lives in his workshop and apparently, fixes and sells clocks and watches? I'm surprised he can make a profit out of by just making CLOCKS all day. Nowadays most people use sci-fi tech watches or just use their phones to look at the time or even search for the weather. While I prepared myself before this trip, I decided to bring my broken watch along to see if he can fix it for me. Perhaps I could get on his good side and hopefully, I can get his consent to question him (let's hope he hasn't taken any of his "sweet, saviour" pills). I could wish myself luck on this venture through a thunderstorm, but I don't know if I CERTAINLY need it.

It's just questioning. It can't be that challenging, right?

- Signing off, Kōyō

• • •

Kōyō could not even describe the emotions of the small droplets of tears falling from the sky. Could he imagine them as petals? No, they seem too harsh; they cannot even describe as a feather! The raindrops fall almost like hailstones knocking at his window in an attempt to enter through the front. The journey was not too far, but it seems longer just by peering into the distance. It felt like a continuous circle going on the same roundabout over once and over twice; it never ends. The same strip of trees, the same patterns on the road. The only time Kōyō could tell he was making progress was when he notices carcasses on the side of the glossy road and plastic bags floating along to the sound of the gushing wind.

He likes the sound and feel of the engine vibrating. For some reason, it puts him at ease like he is trying to escape or take his time away from his office. Stuck to the chair like glue nearly all-day having to tap away on a junk of technology while he hears the reverbed buzzing going off in his brain whenever it is quiet. Whenever the noise occurs, he feels desolate on the inside.

In the boot of the car, he brought along with him a handful of files given to him by the police centred on the drugs and its current effects it has caused on the people who have by far taken them. Since the man has bought a plentiful of these exact pills, he must know something about the one in control or at least the company producing them. Kōyō does not seem intimidating like the police in their act, dressed in their navy, blended blue uniforms. Thus, he would like to see if he can coerce him to disclose information.

• • •

Kōyō reached his destination and stops around the end of a construction site. The shop is that close to a site? he thought. Was it truthfully okay for Hibiki-san to be living near here now? It doesn't seem safe anymore.

Kōyō exhales as he releases the wheel from his grip and opens the door to elevate himself out. "So... This is the workshop?" He ponders to himself. This must be a prank, right? The house is practically ready to collapse! There were the few patches here and there but Kōyō could not even comprehend the idea of someone ESSENTIALLY living here. Kōyō calls Maro again to ensure he was at the right building. A voice echoes at a high yet low pitch on the phone. "Yeah? what's up?"

"Umm... Hinata, are you sure this really is the place? It really looks knackered for someone to live here..."

"I'm certain this is actually the place. Unless you didn't check the address correctly."

Before Kōyō responds, he checks the address once more picking it out of his battered coat pocket. He was in the right area. But is it really...?

"Oh!" Maro bellows from the phone. "I forgot to mention about the construction site next to the house. It's honestly a tad bit appalling to see a man stay in one spot for most of his life. It could be he's close to broke with all the pills he's purchasing, or he's just a clingy dude who makes his living off clocks. Anyways, good luck trying to communicate with him!" And the call ends. It only left Kōyō biting his lips.

This really IS the place. Maro was not lying after all...

Kōyō carries out the heavy files piled up behind the backside of the car. It was too much of a load for him in the end and decides to only take out the ones that are most needed for the questioning. Locking the car behind him, he made his way up the steps and knocks on the door with one exhausted hand struggling to carry the files.

No answer...

This wasn't exactly the plan. I'm not supposed to be here to look like a fool! He argues to himself. With the files in his left and his right free, he can describe himself as a hunched man than a straight man. He knocks on the door once more before kicking the files with his kneecap to thwart them from slipping out of his arms.

No answer again...

This was odd. Was he home? According to Hinata, this guy rarely leaves his house. So, it would seem peculiar to think that NOW of all days and hours he decides to pack up and leave so unexpectedly. Unless... he knew Kōyō was coming to question him. He stands in front of the door, observing everywhere but the door, waiting for the door to open. A few minutes later...

It did...

Kōyō tentatively pushes the door open, to see that no one was there to open the door for him. Has he been standing near the door for almost five minutes and it turns out to be unlocked the entire time? To say the least, he has made far worst moments for himself. He studies the house. The uninviting wallpaper covered up by old wooden clocks hanging on the walls. You can barely see the flowery patterns. The only thing visible was the plain, white ceiling. He has planted way too many samples of his hand-made clocks. The sound of the loud and agitating ticking from the clocks drew Kōyō insane. He wanted to get in and out as soon as he can; he has already heard enough ticking in his brain in his office. A few would have done the trick. The desk was dusty, and the carpet was ragged. It looks like he has not replaced the carpet for a couple of years now. At least it smells pleasant. Smells like the aroma of flowers, not sure what type.

His arm and hands were dying from the files that he carried alongside him. All the blood from his arm to hand left his grip fragile. He plonks the files onto the desk to give his left a break.

"Hibiki- san! Are you there?" Kōyō calls out. But there was no answer; just like with the door. Hibiki-san probably could not hear him from all the ticking in the room. He shouts for the second time, but still... no answer. He rummages around each room he could find, skimming through it with just a quick peek. No person in sight. With no one around the office, there was only one other room left. His bedroom.

I'm really sorry, Sir. But you're not leaving me with any choice...

He gradually but steadily saunters his way up the stairs. It seems so soundless as he was climbing up like the clocks never exist in that one room. And the smell of flowers... was fading away. Replaced with something more... repulsive. What is that horrendous smell? Is it coming from the room? Kōyō clutches his nose as he steps up the last two rigid stairs. This is the only room he can imagine where Hibiki-san could be hiding. He holds onto the door handle and pauses for a moment to think about what he was doing.

Was this an innovative idea? It definitely isn't my best. Guessing if this was the best idea to commit to was not going to reward him with the information he desperately needed. His eyelids tenderly knit together; he opens the door. He unravels his eyes only to feel his heart leap and body tumble back. He automatically grips onto the frame of the door. He just went... pale. There he was, Hibiki-san on his bed with saliva leaking out of his mouth like he recently vomited. His eyes were rolled back. Bloodshot.

Not.

Moving.

A muscle...

He could not get his words out. Just... stutters. From downstairs, he could hear a 'ding', then a 'dong'. Kōyō tries to avert his eyes away to see the time on his phone. It was 7:00 pm sharp. He glances at the man again. He still was not moving. Kōyō crept up to the man and checks his pulse.

No beat...

Oh shit, oh fu- Shit! No, no, no this can't be!

Kōyō calls Maro in a state of panic. This cannot be true. Did the pills really do this to him?!

He could not even think straight, his hands were stuttering as much as HE was stuttering.

Maro picks up. "Hey, Kōyō, what's up? Any luck?"

"H-Hinata, Hinata... I-I, uh..."

"Dude, what's wrong? Why are you stuttering?"

"You know the man I was supposed to question, Kenzou Hibiki?"

"Yeah?"

"Well... you didn't tell me he'd be DEAD!"

"What?! How?"

"I'm not sure. My gut's telling me it's got to do with the pills or... just an overdose."

"I'll call the police to let them handle this unpredicted mess. What are you going to do?"

"I... think I'll go back to the office and rehash this. I'll let the police take care of this."

"Alright, but you NEED to come back to the house to observe more of the area if the police allow you to do such."

"I promise I'll come back and give you the juicy info you yearn when I've been given permission."

"...Perfect." And the called ended with a click.

Kōyō suppresses the urge to vomit as he rushes out of the house, lifting the files in both hands. The files were useless in this situation. A situation he could not match against. He places the files in the front seat instead and clicks in the seatbelt for the pile as well as himself.

Let's get out of here and let the police handle this...

• • •

The pellets of the thunderstorm only grew heavier and more vicious as he makes his way back to his apartment. The gloaming sky made him assume it was nine rather than seven.

Back on the journey.

In his mind, he could not unwind or think about the road. He only thought about what he saw back there. The sight of the man, the state he was in... Decaying flesh and receding hair. The poor guy was lost and confused on his path, and it was obvious from the doorway he was masked with wrinkles. The only question he could ask himself is: Why did he choose that path? The path to escape, to the point of death? or did he really take the "easy" way out?

In fact, why do people choose this, knowing it will one day kill them?

Kōyō heard another car approaching his direction. On the contrary side, he was making progress. But the worrisome side, the car sounds like it was going much faster than him. They were in a sixty per/hour zone. Were they going past the limit?

The car was moving up closer in the dark. Kōyō was waiting for the car to appear through the headlights like something you would expect out of a horror movie. All of a sudden, there they were, driving away. The driving seemed somewhat sluggish, and that was troubling. In just one steer, the driver turns to his right.

Right in front of him!

Kōyō could do nothing. He could not steer to his right; he could not turn backwards. The only action he could take was to hold himself tight like a shield, and that is what he did when the car collided into him and hurtled into the trunk of his car. It shatters the windows and Kōyō's head bashes against the steering wheel.

He fell unconscious once the two cars started bleeping like crazy. His mind grew silent, his sight went blank...

…and the ticking stopped in his brain.

• • •

"If I may ask, who are you? Give me some details about you. And tell me, why did you decide to take this job up?"

"My name is Kōyō Yamamoto. I am twenty-one years old and graduated from Sakagami high school in Tokyo. I chose this job as a private journalist because I wish to take over my Father's job and... avenge someone who seemed to be connected to this case."

I don't plan to stop until I've reached the top of the path of malice.

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2000

This was the hardest list to make so far, so yeah, it’s a top twelve because I felt disgusting cutting the last two songs. Oh well. Screw the rules.

I turned 12 that year! I had my own cd player, which was also a radio! I could make tapes and burn cds. I could even BUY cds too if I saved all my money for a couple of months! School wasn’t great, because of some bullies, but I still had some friends. I loved Pokemon and drawing in the park. Life felt good.

Music had never sounded better.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Not gonna lie, this list changed A LOT over the course of this post and I had to rearrange it several times. And then I gave up and changed it into a top 12. Also, this list of honorable mentions could almost make it a top 20 since several of these (half of them, actually) were on the top at some point.

All the small things (Blink 182) - I’m really glad these guys are still around today, to be honest. They always make me smile when I hear their new songs on the radio.

The Riddle (Gigi d’Agostino) - Love it, but it loses some of its appeal without the music video.

Lady (Modjo) - I claim overplay for this cut.

L’Alizé (Alizée) - More on that later.

Move your body (Eiffel 65) - Would have made the list in a more mediocre year, I swear.

Optimistique-moi (Mylène Farmer) - I literally said “self-care” before making this cut. Also the music video is great, it’s an artist trying to escape from some sort of nightmare circus, and a magician helps her. Very underrated music video.

Music (Madonna) - The most painful cut of all. I absolutely loved this song and how weird and disjointed and broken it sounded, and had it on several tapes. And yet there’s no room for it even with a top 12.

And now, the actual list. Warning: it starts with a curveball.

12 - J’pète les plombs (Disiz La Peste)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

A French rap song about a guy losing his job and being stuck in traffic and subsequently going postal.

Here’s the kicker, though. This guy was rapping for my city, and this music video was filmed mostly in the estate I was living in at the time! That McDonalds at the beginning? It was across the street! That bus stop was in front of high school! Heck, I painted the rocks in that park at the end several times already!

And it became a huge hit!! You have no idea how excited we were in middle school. Everyone knew the lyrics (translation here)! Even if some parts were very rude! We still loved it! We were quoting the entirety of the McDonalds part where the guy wants an egg in his sandwich and is ready to fire a harpoon to get it. “Désolé, il est midi et après midi eh ben l’mac morning c’est fini” was a goddamn meme here.

It would probably have been less funny if the singer didn’t look like a cute nerd, it turns the music video into a hilarious parody. Especially because instead of a gun, he’s menacing people with a harpoon, a giant wooden hammer and a water pistol.

Legends only.

11 - One More Time (Daft Punk)

US: Not on the list / FR: #30

Around the World was a repetitive song, and while I kinda liked it, I didn’t quite get the hype around it at the time. But One More Time is a huge party, and everybody is invited, and all the drama stays at the door, and everyone just has a great time. And it has one of the most fitting music videos ever.

It’s a monster of a song, and even if it’s still a bit too repetitive to be listened to on a loop, it was a delight everytime it was on the radio. And it still is! Godspeed, Daft Punk.

10 - Innamoramento (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #91

I really, really tried to keep her off the list. And I failed. Innamoramento, the album, is one of my favorite albums of one of my favorite French artists ever and I’m weak, and out of the five (five) singles out of that album, I only managed to leave two out of my top 10 lists.

This sounds absolutely fantastic. There’s no way I could kick it off the list, even to make room for a guy who was rapping for my estate. And not even for goddamn Daft Punk.

Kill me now.

9 - Absolutely (Nine Days)

US: #35 / FR: Not on the list

I discovered this song in 2008 through a Silent Hill 3 AMV about Heather. Yeppppp. It’s here, and it’s still great 11 years later, and I love it, and this song was so good I put it on my playlist immediately and it stayed on it for several years.

The lyrics never really deliver their promise of telling a “story”, but it’s still a fantastic, bouncy, uplifting song, and it made my world better, and I have to thank that ephemeral band for that.

And I especially loved the very brief pause before the last “girl” in the song. Very relatable.

8 - J’en rêve encore (De Palmas)

US: Not on the list / FR: #27

Listen. I have no idea what’s up with these specific chords, but they are the sound of a weird mix of nostalgia, anger and above all, discomfort. No other song has the exact colors this one has and no other broadcasts this very specific mixed feeling.

Too bad the lyrics are yet another breakup song, or more specifically a post-breakup song (even if the lyrics are very, very good ; I just checked who wrote them and it’s Jean-Jacques Goldman. I had no idea but now, I can definitely hear it), because the music is really something else. At least to me. Is anyone else hearing this?

7 - The Real Slim Shady (Eminem)

US: #51 / FR: #28

Wow. Would you look at that. The ex angsty angry teenager loved Eminem. What a surprise, uh.

To be honest, I already genuinely liked this song as a kid even if I could only understand a few isolated parts and words, and the fact that this guy was pissed off and clearly being offensive, possibly towards everyone, was enough.

Now that I can understand the lyrics entirely, I obviously don’t endorse all of them (like the very backhanded argument for gay marriage. Jesus), but I can’t help it, this song still kicks ass. It would be dishonest to leave it out of the list. I loved it so much at the time. And I still enjoy it a lot.

6 - Natural Blues (Moby)

US: Not on the list. Not on any US year-end list actually. I thought it was big everywhere but no. What happened. / FR: #49

There’s overplay, and then there’s “I keep hearing this song everywhere and yet I can never get enough of it, and I will sing it at school, and I will put it on tapes, and I will listen to it even when it’s not on the radio.”

If you asked me what the year 2000 sounded like, it sounded like Natural Blues. I genuinely can’t believe it’s not on the US year-end chart.

5 - Around the World (ATC)

US: Not on the list / FR: #48

This has no right being this catchy without ever, ever becoming annoying. What kind of evil pact did you make to get this result. How.

4 - Jeune et Con (Saez)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

The title is “Young and Stupid”. It’s an extremely angry song against the establishment. Didn’t pay a lot of attention to it when it came out because well, I was 12, but I would drink up this kind of angry, angsty song only three/four years later. It has aged like fine wine too and feels like the ultimate ‘Ok Boomer’ song ; here’s a translation. It is brutal. You’re welcome.

If I had better taste this would be above the next two songs.

3 - Daddy DJ (Daddy DJ)

US: Not on the list / FR: #5

As I said in the intro, I started to BUY music that year. I could pick what I wanted to own, as long as my parents thought the cds were appropriate.

So I went to the nearest record store. It was called “Madison” and had a chrome aesthetic, with neons and fluorescent 90s shit everywhere, and banners with band names on it, and somewhat menacing posters (the Iron Maiden ones looked scary). It was very intimidating.

And so, 12 years old Johannes, under dad’s supervision, picked the cd they wanted above all the other cds in the shop knowing THAT one wouldn’t make anyone angry at home, went towards the desk, slapped a lot of coins on it, and bought this, trying to look as fierce and determined a 12 y.o can, which isn’t much.

It still slaps nearly twenty years later and I don’t regret a single thing. That’s all I have to say about Daddy DJ by Daddy DJ.

So I was making this list, feeling pretty good about putting Mylène Farmer so low on it, and I was like oh wow, I genuinely love all these other songs more than the two she released that year! This feels great. This is healing. This is progress. It also means the most controversial things on the list are a nerd threatening people with a water pistol and Eminem spouting his usual bullshit empty provocations. No big deal. It’s okay! Moving on.

What was the French #1 for that year, by the way? I can’t rememb-

OH SHIT OH F█CK

OH NO

2 - Moi Lolita (Alizée)

US: Not on the list / FR: #1

Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

Mylène Farmer wrote this for Alizée. Screw the entire universe. I want her off my lists but I can’t because I need to make them honestly.

“I’m not a sucker, I never bought the album AND I never bought these singles in a SHOP, I got them in a garage sale the next year for less that a quarter of the price”, says the person who is, in fact, clearly and definitely a sucker.

How can a song be so horribly catchy and horribly controversial at the same time. HOW. It’s unfair. For some context about how controversial this is if you’re an English speaker, this is what would happen if Bad Guy by Billie Eilish was the catchiest shit in the world. This was almost #1 on my list before I noticed my actual #1 song made it pretty high on the French year-end list despite being mysteriously absent from the US one.

Also I’m glad the music video provides a mostly harmless context: this girl is supposed to babysit her little sister, but she went dancing in a club. And the little sister is looking after her instead. I’m saying “mostly” harmless because there’s that creepy guy who keeps watching her, as if the story was saying “you should not do this and you are putting yourself in danger and this will end horribly”. Which is a sentiment I can definitely get behind, and at the time, I was already highly skeptical about the message this song was sending even if I loved it. I’m just judging that through the comments I was writing next to it on my “favorite songs” lists (”leave your little sister out of this, Alizée”):

Bonus: most relatable comment on the video by a mile.

Same, my dude.

This is why the first album I bought was Daddy DJ and not that one or, uh, the next one.

1 - Stan (Eminem)

US: Not on the list either?? What happened. Why / FR: #18

This song actually created a new English verb. Think about that for a second.

Also, until the end of my life, I will wonder why people suddenly decided, a couple of years ago, than “to stan” now meant “admiring a lot and being a huge fan of” instead of “being a creepy obsessed stalker and possibly dangerous”.

Anyhow.

I couldn’t understand one tenth of the lyrics at the time this was a hit, but I still sneakily put it on my tapes. I knew my parents disapproved. Oh, I liked it. I loved it. I adored it.

I was also terrified of it.

One of the only lines I clearly understood with my limited English was the “I’m your biggest fan” line, and how increasingly dangerous the guy sounded, and that Eminem was trying to answer him at the end but it was too late and he had already done some horrible shit.

This is a horror story in song form, it stays with you long after it’s over every time you listen to it, and it’s a rare and precious thing.

I’m still genuinely terrified after all these years, though.

Next up: another mix of embarrassing shit and valid stuff

[the-strawzish-clownfish]

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

no

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

[battlestar-royco]

Nothing drives me insane as much as the aging system in acotar, like they age the first 18 or so years like normal humans do but then they stop aging for some fucking reason until they apparently suddenly start again? Since as you said Berons an old man while Helion is young looking and yet they're both the same age? Like when does that process start again, why does it start again, why dont the fae just age slowly since the day they're born? It would literally solve the whole problem lmao

I know, right? It never made sense to begin with, but the more lore SJ/M puts into the books, the more self-contradictory it gets. Based on AC0TAR alone, you could give Mess the benefit of the doubt and approximate that the fae are immortal and/or they age at an incredibly slow pace that allows them to live a couple thousand years or so. I swear that somewhere in AC0TAR, SJ/M mentioned fae reaching adolescence around age 200, but I could be wrong. So just looking at Tom, L/ucien, A/marantha, and Rice, high fae seem to stop aging around the time they look to be in their 20s to 30s, around 500 years old. So let’s say that 200 is human ages 14-21 and 500 is 22-35, maybe even 40, because Mess only describes the fae as attractive but never really specifies the human age they appear. But then L/ucien’s mother appears UtM, throwing off the balance by appearing middle-aged. So??? What is the truth? Is she also in her 500s? Is she 600-1000?

AC0MAF makes it infinitely worse. Even though there’s little to no handle on the aging system in book 1, book 2 puts it in a worldbuilding salad bowl and shakes it the fuck around. Here we see a few other middle-aged fae: Beron, Keir, and the King of Hybern, for example. We also see Tarquin, younger than the other main fae characters. We also get the infamous comment implying that elderly humans are infants to Rice. So let’s unpack all that. There are no age specifications for the aforementioned characters, but we get the idea that Beron, Keir, and KoH are from an older generation than Rice's cohort and that Tarquin is some number of years younger than that same cohort. The KoH is at least 1,000 years old because he was a main player in the War. (This begs the question of why A/marantha looks the same age as Tom Lane, younger than KoH, but that’s the least of our worries.) HOWEVER. All the members of the IC, plus Tom and L/ucien, were also alive and kicking during the war. Rice and the I/llyrians were old enough to be major ranking members of fae armies. M0r had already gone through the ordeal with Eris and her father (at age 17) by the time of the war. But--and this will endlessly frustrate me--NO MEMBER OF THE IC IS OLDER THAN 550. So I have questions SJ/M. How is it physically possible for -400 year old fetuses to command armies in a war? If fae reach adolescence at age 200, why did M0r get her period and an engagement at age 17? Why is the elderly mortal queen an infant to 500 year old Rice, but Faerug is an appropriate mating age? If Mess had just stuck with the distinction between fae and human aging system, this would be a bit easier to swallow. However, all evidence (that doesn’t contradict itself) points to the fact that fae in fact do age mentally/physically/emotionally like humans up until their 20s, and keep aging mentally and emotionally. So Rice is in fact way too old for Faerug for no reason, but he looks like Henry Cavill instead of Viggo Mortensen because SJ/M ships Failsand.

Moving onto AC0WAR/FAS, where it somehow gets even worse. Here SJ/M springs the whole “H/elion is L/ucien’s father” mess on us. The main takeaway here is that H/elion is at least old enough to have been an adult and fathered a child with the Lady of Autumn. However, in WAR, H/elion appears Rice’s age and invites Cassiass and M0r to a threesome. So is he really creepy for wanting to get with people a generation younger than him (wow great implications there) or is SJ/M just a terrible writer? A question for the philosophers. Finally, FAS divulges the information that Rice’s mother was 19 years old when mated with his father, who was centuries older than her. I just. The fuckery. The contradictions. The misogyny. The nonsense of it all. Making any sense of SJ/M’s books is an exercise in futility. You could spend hours trying to make the pieces all fit but it’d be like trying to fit a triangle into a square.

[justanotherboyinblue]

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? coffee mugs! it gives me a weird satisfaction

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars!!

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? not a big fan of either :/

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? well i’m homeschooled so that’d be my mother the gist of it was that i don’t focus well and get distracted easily

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? oh bottles for sure cannot tell you why but the old fashioned glass bottles of like pepsi or something? Love Those

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? grunge i love it has the ‘i don’t care’ attitude basically just oversized stuff and a whole bunch of flannels

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones obviously, i’m a gamer what did you think i was gonna say

8. movies or tv shows? i tend to like movies better, but i do love myself a good tv show i think the pinnacle of tv shows done right is person of interest five seasons, i never got bored, it didn’t drag on, and it was always a good watch with good character chemistry

9. favorite smell in the summer? hmm either chlorine or beach smell because both mean i’m in the water And Ya Boi Is A Water Bitch

10. game you were best at in p.e.? i’ve never had p.e. and i think that’s my favorite thing about homeschooling

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? i normally don’t, because i wake up 11:30-noon because i was up at 3am and i need my eight hours of sleep

12. name of your favorite playlist? some fucken bOPS

13. lanyard or keyring? i’d think key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? uhhhhh literally all my favorite sweets are chocolate fuck probably cow tails

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? they all sucked and i rarely read any of them so

16. most comfortable position to sit in? either sitting on my ankle or having both legs hanging over the edge

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? do flip flops count?

18. ideal weather? like, 75-80 degrees with a cool breeze or alternatively 5-10 degrees with Piles Of Snow Everywhere

19. sleeping position? usually on my left side, or my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a notebook, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? i love writing on anything i can get my hands on, most times it’s a notebook i tend to always carry pen and paper with me because i Will Not Remember Anything

21. obsession from childhood? you know how people have like, a timeline in their head of their entire life? i did this when i was this age, etc.? yeah i don’t have that my memories are in a big pile in my head and i have to use like things around me to find out a general age it’s wild so i have no idea coloring? minecraft?

22. role model? any kind person ever

23. strange habits? i only shower at night, and once i get in my room and change into my pajamas i have No intention of leaving so i just brush my teeth in the shower

24. favorite crystal? amethyst? quartz? garnet? idk onlytherealonesknow

25. first song you remember hearing? it was a song that my mother used to sing to my brother and i at night when we were in bed, did you ever talk to God i’ve never been able to find it anywhere, but i love it and it has the Best Vibes attached to it

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? S w i m

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? cuddle obviously

28. five songs to describe you? uhh dear younger me- mercyme (Christian) the cult of Dionysus- the Orion experience lucky stars- Lucy Spraggan escapism- steven universe? maybe? sunkissed- Khai dreams???? bro i got no idea

29. best way to bond with you? over shared experiences, or a shared love of something just best way to bond? by relating

30. places that you find sacred? not sure old buildings, sites of historical importance, places marred by tragedy

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? oh boy here we go my tightest pants, obviously, my heels, and my slutty shirt or my comfy clothes i can kick ass in anything

32. top five favorite vines? i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand. Posiden quivers before him! fuck off!! *BAM* this is why mom doesn’t fUCKING love you!!! please let this be a normal field trip. with Miss Frizzle?? un-fucking-likely Jeremy eat a snickers. why? you’re not you when you’re hungry. it’s gonna take more than that for my fatass meanwhile, in 1957. your honor, permission to treat the witness as hostile. permission granted. i’m gonna shoot you in the face. that’ll ruin my day

33. most used phrase in your phone? i have no phone but i do say valid a lot because All You Fuckers Are Valid

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? michigan plumminggggg, we’ll exceed your expectaaationsssss

35. average time you fall asleep? three am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? backpack

38. lemonade or tea? lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? idk the cat pissed on my brother’s papers once

41. last person you texted? moje rojenia

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Hoodie Pouch

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, obviously

44. favorite scent for soap? Manly Smell

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? mmmmmm sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? long sleeve tee, plaid pajama pants

47. favorite type of cheese? Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? pineapple i’ll eat you out ;)

49. what saying or quote do you live by? if someone makes you happy make them happier

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? my mother made the weirdest fucking sound once, and i couldn’t breathe and fell off the chair

51. current stresses? school, driver’s training, some other stuff

52. favorite font? Kristen ITC

53. what is the current state of your hands?  ????? clean?? i have a ring on my right middle finger, some scars on both hands, my nails are short

54. what did you learn from your first job?  haven’t had a job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?  any of the old Grimm’s fairy tales  they terrified me when i was young, but then i got a taste for the disturbed and gore so they became perfect for me 

56. favorite tradition?  my family doesn’t really have any traditions

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?  gaining confidence to not be a complete pushover, quitting self-harm, realizing my first relationship wasn’t my fault

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i don’t  have four talents  i can color really well? i can copy drawings if i look at them long enough

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?  Fuck

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? something along the lines of kabaneri of the iron fortress or my hero academia

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?  give me something to keep and hold onto forever. let go

62. seven characters you relate to?  uggggggggh bro my personality changes every hour i don’t know  Sam, from supernatural  uh, Klaus? from the originals  ....  yeah that’s all i got

63. five songs that would play in your club?  dangerous- left boy  adderall- Max Frost  sweet tooth- Scott Helman  binary mind- ra ra riot  while i’m alive- STRFKR

64. favorite website from your childhood?  club penguin and jumpstart

65. any permanent scars?  tons

66. favorite flower(s)?  coral dahlias and bellflowers

67. good luck charms?  nope!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?  quinoa, mustard, and root beer

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?  without saliva your stomach would digest itself

70. left or right-handed?  right

71. least favorite pattern? whatever the fuck this one is

 72. worst subject?  math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?  ranch and any kind of roast

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?  probably like a 7

75. when did you lose your first tooth?  neither i nor my mother remember

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Mashed Potatoes Always

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?  strawberries!! they’re yummy and have beautiful flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? both are gross no thank you

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?  well since i don’t have my license yet, i’d have to say my license

80. earth tones or jewel tones?  earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? they’re  literally the same thing  are you asking which one i say? if so, lightning bugs

82. pc or console?  both! i prefer pc but a lot of my favorite games are on console and i don’t have a gaming computer

83. writing or drawing?  i’m better at writing, but i love both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?  not a huge fan of either

84. barbie or polly pocket?  i never had or liked either

85. fairy tales or mythology?  faerie* tales and mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?  cookies!!!

87. your greatest fear?  being abandoned ig

88. your greatest wish?  to live an apple pie life i suppose  my partners and i living in a house we love, in a town we love, with all of our fur babies

89. who would you put before everyone else?  the young if i was in a room full of people, relatives, friends, elders, i would always save the youngest

90. luckiest mistake?  posting my diary on ao3 XD  i met my darling Leo through it

91. boxes or bags?  f....for???   bags are easier to carry, but boxes are just Nice ..... see this is why i think i’m a cat

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?  i love sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames?  Q  that’s that’s basically it

94. favorite season?  fall

95. favorite app on your phone?  duolingo or pixel.y 3D

96. desktop background? school computer:

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? just my mother’s

98. favorite historical era?  anything Ancient  greek, egyptian, incan, aztec, that kinda stuff

[hannigramfanfic]

Hannibal Fanstory: “The Hunter and Child of the Lupin” Or “Kiss of a Lupin” or “Prince of Wolves - Vilku kunigaikstis

PROLOGUE

There is a Tale told by old Storytellers when fires are lit, and everyone is settled for the night about a Hunter from a distant land and a feral child of the Lupin he met one heavy winter in the lands of the North – where the Spirit of the that Forest, the Ravenstag dwells – when given a task by the vile King Mason Verger to find the child and kill it, while bringing him the head of the creature from Ancient times.

It is said Mason came into power by overthrowing the previous King – Jack Crawford – and his Queen – Bella or Phyliss – and it is unknown what happened to those kind people, because you dear Travellers who come to sit by my fire to hear this Tale have yet to hear how it all began.

Our Tale first begins in the land of Wolf-trap, Virginia where due to unforeseen consequences a pregnant woman bearing a child within her womb leaves behind a place where she was born and raised as behind her in the far distance a great fire burns the woodland causing animals living in it to run alongside her horse as the flames black out the skies.

Choking out a multitude of stars that shine like path and leaving yet only one shining in the sky – a bright single star that would change the child’s life within her womb as the legacy of Wolftrap dissolved in ash and wind.

————————— 

12 MONTHS LATER

Baltimore, Maryland – the former Kingdom of the Missing King Crawford

Despair.

Pestilence.

Starvation.

Depressed souls who head’s hang with the weight of oppression as Hannibal Lecter – Hunter, member of the Hunter’s Guild – and unknown to many in who he was in this country keeps the hood of his long cloak up as he walks through the muddy streets with his horse – Cersai – of Baltimore, Maryland remembering when it had been under King Crawford’s gentle rule.

The street had been a vibrant hive of activity: festivals, market stalls bursting with the hustle and bustle of market stallers shouting their wares to people in the streets, while children ran about with windmills and kites.

That was gone: in place now due to Mason taking reign the color and vibrancy had been drained to monochrome grey and inky black, while faces have become hardened like stone; children are weak and starving beg for scraps at what has now become Mason’s palace from the kitchens only to never get enough and adults have become suspicious of any stranger no matter where they came from.

Neighbor becomes pitted against neighbor, not trusting them at all for any help at all even when the Plague sickness comes and affects either both or one of them as Hannibal passes some Plague doctors standing near a Condemned house talking in whispers – like snakes slithering across each-other to keep warm – wearing the long white beaks like that of a crow or raven beak then turn their beaked gaze towards him.

Watching him walking up to King Verger’s castle, a grotesque building hewn from blood-red rock and spiked turrets where the remnants of people who displeased Mason Verger hang from indicating to all below if they disobeyed this was what would happen. Guards in armour patrolled the battlements.

Hearing the bellowing noise of large bull oxen’s and rumbling of a carriage makes him step out of the way with Cersai seeing, in fact, it is Slave Carriage bearing within poor, frightened souls bound in chains of iron and steel. Their heads hung down in dejection, while rags of cloth barely cover their modesty as it large wheels splash up the foul mud of that for centuries during Mason’s reign has had all manner of traffic go through it.

What makes his Inner Predator within Hannibal want to get rid of Mason if he weren’t controlled by the Hunter’s Code and Contract is the fact the prisoners that been in the Slave Carriage as it heads within the castle – were children. Some of them younger like his darling sister Mischa who been murdered in his homeland when he been only a child of 17 years of age by a rogue general who had overthrown his father – Lord Dvaras – had heard rumours about Mason having certain particular tastes and that was he liked young children – female or male even.

The three Plague Doctors, who have followed him he can sense are still watching him wondering why a foreign stranger has come to such a desolate bleak place where even the strange Plague, Hannibal had seen affecting people in other places he had travelled through and the grief it had brought countless families.

“Mister? Mister? Please any…. spare coins to spare?”

A small voice says, drawing him out of the haze he in and looking down sees it a group of orphaned urchins – their cheeks hollowed in by hunger; eyes bloodshot and bags under them; hair unkempt and unwashed as patchwork rags cover their modesty – and shakes his head at them, having his money pouch already stolen in another town he had passed through. Slapping down greedy hands when they reach for his crossbow on his back, plus dagger and sword hidden by his long cloak.

“Cease that. There not for children to play with. Understand me?” He chides them, making them resist what they are doing, and nod meekly followed by still staying close to him when suddenly a snide leering almost voice shouts at them “BEGONE YOU LITTLE VARMINTS!!! GET!! GO ON!!!” revealing to Hannibal’s displeasure another lacky of Mason’s – Garrett Jacob Hobbs, Captain of the Guards and downright leech-of-a-man – who kicks one the urchins out the way.

They met before, when the man had tried to join the Hunter’s Guild and now sneers at him even when Hannibal reaches into his saddle bag to pull out the Hunter’s Code and Contract – which all Hunter’s sweared to with a Blood oath – then spits heavily, managing to aim it close to Hannibal who just keeps a calm composure.

He couldn’t let the Inner Predator in him loose just yet.

It wasn’t the right……time for it.

————————————–

Now in the Household of the Verger Royal Family: there is Mason Verger, a vile man with no good soul in him causing more torment and ruining people lives than in actually helping them; there is his sister Lady Margot – a young woman of 35 years of age, who is also sadly one of those people that is tormented by her brother behind locked doors and wishes she could be free of him; while there is her Lady-in-waiting Alana Bloom – a simple country girl with strong heart and fierce loyalty to her mistress.

The servants are:  Peter Bernadone – a stable-lad who a cares for the horses for King Mason, though is strongly controlled by a sadistic Lord Clark Ingram; Francis Dolerhyde, the Blacksmith who fashions all the weapons and armour and stays with his adopted little blind girl of seven years of age Reba McClane – who’s father and mother are unknown as she was abandoned at early age and find by Francis as a baby among some bed of heather in the once fertile forests around Baltimore, Maryland; the scholar/ jesters of the Court are Brian Zeller, Beverly Katz and Jimmy Price who Mason uses when he puts on big parties to celebrate certain events and finally Lady Bedelia Du Maurier – rumoured to run the Brothel houses in the seediest parts of Baltimore, Maryland and is known as the Verger’s Tax Collector.

Hmm, yes?

Oh, you want to hear of what lies beyond this place.

Well that is…. the Northern land as far as the crow can fly to it or a horse can travel to it. Not that I’ve tried to travel there myself.

Tall mountain-scapes of tall-peaked mountains dusted with coatings of fine, crisp snow and swathes of large coniferous and deciduous trees that spread outwards to reach to them and waterfalls made from glaciers tumble downwards to form meandering rivers that spread across the strange land like arteries of a giant’s arm and gentle, bubbling streams or of becoming just deep pools of gleaming water that waterfalls just endlessly pour into them.

Autumn there brings a multi-hue of soft oranges, yellows, reds and lilacs and wildlife is ever abundant from all creatures great and small, while Ancient Text tells of how large Beast Gods roamed the forest and the Spirit of the Forest – the Ravenstag – watched over all.

It is said the creature possesses the body of a stag, a coat of lustrous Raven’s feathers and a thicket of antler’s that are larger a normal stag’s antlers.

But that is only myth told from the Ancient Text as no-one has ever seen this creature described and yet, it is what Mason fears for some reason.

You ask me why?

It is believed because of Prophesy told to him by a mysterious cloaked figure wearing robes of sea bluish-green and holding a stuff, bearing the carving of Raven that is why. And hear is thus:

Neither Human or even a man

When the Crescent moon doth shine and become full

Turning crimson like spilled blood in the inky, black sky

Come will something that will tear and ravage you asunder

It will break your stone you surround yourself with

Bellow out it’s war cry like the horn of a Carnyx

And pierce you to the very throne you defiled

Beware the golden eyes in the night.

Now that I have started off this Tale, let’s us travel to another place – the Northern Land where we will shall find out what happened to the young man from the Wolftrap Legacy that many had believed had faded into the histories of time to be forgotten for eternity.

 PART 1

A multitude of stars shines brightly in the night-sky, while under the canopy of tall coniferous trees bearing on their fir branches white, undisturbed snow and on a perch of a half-destroyed old tree – that had been hit by lightning – sweeps off into the night on silent wings.

A ghostly white shadow among the inky blackness, while slowly golden eyes appear from the gloom as they step slowly into the moonlight now streaming through the canopy above – a pack of wolves, a family.

There is a difference – on the back of one of the Mother Alpha Wolf – last of the remaining Ancient Beasts of the Wolf Clan – is a young man, gripping her fur mixed with silvery highlights.

While in front, keeping an eye out for dangers are his wolf-brother’s – three of them – and his Wolf-sister, who walks close by. Their names in Ancient are stated thus: Murasaki Kushina – the Alpha Mother, remaining Ancient Beast of the Wolf Clan; daughter Murasaki Chiyoh; and the three sons Murasaki Ashisaki, Keito and Hiharo.

They are Will’s family, after his mother Lady Cassia - Othelia who had given birth to him in this forest one heavy winter night soon afterwards weakened by hunger and trying to survive while grieving the loss of her husband – Lord Orilivano – who unknown to her at the time of when he been a small child had been bitten by rogue Wolf – so passing on the curse onto his only son – Will.

Will knows nothing of his heritage or even where he comes from. He believes his real mother is Murasaki Kushina and knows nothing of what the birthmark on his shoulder means.

“O’kaasan, where are we going?” He asks her in the language of the Wolves – that she had taught him, and she answers in her deep soft voice. “It’s a surprise, my dear little one.”

Will smiles at that. Being with his Wolf-mother, brothers and sisters he knows nothing of the Human beyond the forest he was born in and has not seen another human ever in his life.

His real mother unbeknownst to him is buried in wooden glade, where only the Spirit of the Forest – The Ravenstag – knows where. He remembers one autumn with the leaves spiralling and dancing down onto the forest floor he seen the beautiful creature with a lustrous coat of raven’s feathers ruffling gently in the breeze as it grazed with some deer then it was gone.

Chiyoh, who had gone off soon comes up beside and hands him a branch bearing some succulent edible berries from a winter food storage hole that been made last winter and taking it with one hand, scratches her behind her ear to thank her for it.

Keito – the second youngest of Murasaki Kushina’s Wolf cubs about the same age as Will – comes up, nipping her ear playfully soon making them both bound forwards in front of the others, making Will laugh happily at the sight in front of him.

If only he knew at the time in the Kingdom of Mason Verger, a Hunter would soon be arriving in the forest he lived in and would change his life forever.

  The mountain-passes that separate the Kingdom of Mason Verger from the Northern Forest, where the Ravenstag is to dwell is a Border pass patrolled by four guards – Tobias Budge, Matthew Brown, Abel Gideon and the reluctant Frederick Chilton – who control who goes through to the other side.

Coming up the carved path in the mountainside, while heavy rain falls down causing some parts of the cliff-face to become waterfalls of murky water that tumble down into the misty abyss below, he sees a Raven flying overhead – it’s beady gaze looking down at him – and continuing head up the path, soon sees a groove hollowed by years of intense weathering going over it until it finally hollowed out a pass.

During King Crawford’s reign with his kind permission people could come and go often escorted by himself and the Queen to show the beautiful land beyond the pass then it all changed when King Mason Verger took control and changed the rule so that only a handle of people he chose could enter the pass if they were acceptable and reliable in the tasks he gave them.

Slipping off the horse, he heads to stone-carved hut shaped like large dome to within, where Frederick Chilton – one of the four Border Pass Guards who rather be somewhere else – lifts his head up from making notes to see who has come in then takes the Sealed Pass signed by King Mason from Hannibal.

Hannibal lowering his hood of his long cloak, heads back over to his horse to check she is alright at the sametime the other three Border Pass guards appear, coming into the large stone-carved dome wearing hides of animals to disguise their scent from when they go through the pass and hunt in the land beyond it.

“Chilton, who is this Silver-fox of a foreigner?” One of them – Abel Gideon – a rude, boorish brute of man wishing like Chilton to be somewhere else – like for example the whorehouses of sin, greed and lust rumoured to be run by Lady Bedelia Du Maurier.

“A Hunter, dear Gideon. He has been given a Border Pass by King Verger to enter that accursed land.” Another man speaks – Tobias Budge, once a former member of the Hunter’s Guild until leaving for unknown reasons – who know considered Hunters like Hannibal to be just worthless scum in it for the money they would get from the job.

Hannibal notices the third Border Pass guard is a young man, with his hands crossed over his chest while leaning nonchantly against the stone-carved dome wall with one leg up on it watching him with certain look. He would have to keep an eye out on this one. Something about the gaze indicated a hidden personality the other three men didn’t know about and was something Hannibal had experience with

Having a hidden personality of his own.

  It is in the middle of the night, the rain has ceased outside until leaving only pools of water on the ground in some places as Hannibal silently leaves behind the four sleeping Border Pass Guards and heads quietly to the Pass, where for the moment he soon swears he sees ghostly figure of a child – looking almost like his darling sister Mischa – then getting up into the saddle of his horse, indicates with soft click of his tongue for it to start going through the pass.

It is eerily quiet, with the wind-weathered pass looking like it is leaning in towards any travellers who come into the Pass then finally he reaches the other side to come upon a sight that has been untouched ever since Mason’s reign: large swathes of coniferous and deciduous trees spreading outwards towards towering mountains that jut out like sharp ragged teeth in the clouds of mist that surround them.

A strange sense of calm descends on Hannibal. Never has he seen such a pristine, beautiful place where Humans who once remember King Crawford’s gentle rule now fear to tread in case they incur the wrath of the now King Mason.

Slowly he begins to descend the carved path leading to the very bottom of the valley where the Ancient Beasts were still rumoured to roam and the Spirit of the Forest – the Ravenstag – was said to dwell.

  “O’kaasan, what’s wrong?” Will asks, when Murasaki Kushina comes to halt at the large river – Kahaku – where glacial boulders covered in moss, lichen and tiny moths lay within the refreshing water that comes from the mountains in the far distance.

“Man!!!? We must leave!!!?” Come my children.” She replies to him, while Will finds himself gripping her fur more tightly and looks around at the trees that cover both sides of the large flowing river that goes through the forest and out towards the ocean.

Listening attentively, Will uses his special skill he had to block out all other noises and slips his eyes close to immerse himself fully. He soon hears a steady heartbeat coming from the “Man” as the strange creature his O’kaasan had called the strange creature.

He wondered:

Why had they come here to where he lived?

What purpose had brought them here?

Warning growls - bring him out of those internal questions - coming from his other siblings, making him shoot his eyes open seeing watching through some gaps of broken trees that have fallen into the large river at some point.

Until it managed to build a dam of sorts. The “Man” who soon moves from his watching point, gets up onto the broken branches and clambering over them begins to wade through the water towards them until stopping in the middle of the large river.

“Speak Human. You have come into our Forest with some purpose. Why?” Will hears his O’kaasan growling with her fangs bared in warning, while he slips off her back and keeps close to her.

Noticing how the strange “Man’s” maroon eyes stare at him – like they could stare deeply into his soul – and before he even is thinking he is front of them, while they stay still as he starts to pad around them.

Inhaling every mixture of scent coming from the strange “Man” - all unrecognisable and unidentifiable – then bringing his hands up to their shoulders, pushes the strange creature to kneel on both knees so their eye-level.

  Hannibal now kneeling on both his knees in the water of the large river, stays still when the young man – no doubt in his mind the remaining heir of the Wolftrap Legacy – leans close to his cheek inhaling deeply with curiosity at what is he to them.

He knows if he makes a wrong move, four wolves and a one of them an Ancient Beast described in Ancient Texts saying to have existed in this forest, could easily tear him to a bloodied mess.

Keeping his hands still by resting them on his lap, Hannibal doesn’t even flinch when a moist, warm tongue licks his ear to test his reaction and moves to the other – almost like the young man is starting to scent-mark him – then pulls back slightly giving him a look that means he must reciprocate.

Leaning close to the young man’s ear, he brings out his tongue to lick softly – wishing deep also he could take hold of the young man, but he doesn’t – and when finishes scent-marking the other in the way he been indicated then goes back to staying still to feel his cheeks grabbed hold of.

This forces him to tilt his head backwards, where soon sharp teeth or fangs – he can’t tell just yet – bite into his skin – not tearing but marking – drawing some blood as the action of it makes him gasp breathlessly.

Feeling his eyes flutter close, his hands come nearly up to take hold of the young man when a twig snapping underfoot breaks the gentle peace and calm and lowering his head after feeling he is suddenly his now alone sees the young man and the Wolves have left.

Another presence though makes him turn his face to look down the large river, seeing a sight he would never forget even until his and the young man’s tale had faded into history.

A lustrous coat made of Raven’s feathers, gleaming in the soft moonlight from above and antlers that seem to Hannibal’s mind extend to the very heavens then it tilts it’s head backwards bellowing heavily. It’s breath rising like fine mist into the cold, night air.

PART 2

After finding a large hollow of a giant tree that has managed over years of growing in cliff-face until it’s large roots within have hollowed out some form of cave, Hannibal now sits up against one of large roots, twisted slightly as the tree which had been growing searched for water and nutrients.

On the cave wall are Ancient Markings of Forebearers who once in Ancient Times had lived in the forest with harmony with the Ancient Beasts illuminated by the makeshift fire he has made, while on makeshift some meat – rabbit – is being slowly roasted on a makeshift spit made from twigs.

He is calmly sketching with some charcoal a drawing of the young man with the wolves he had met – paying attention to the soft details of the youthful face and soft kissable lips – into an old drawing paper sketchpad and smiles softly when he senses a presence entering the cave.

Hannibal knows who it is and finishing off the final touches, gently closes the sketchpad to place it to one side then reaching forwards turns the makeshift spit so the meat is thoroughly cooked hearing the young man pad up to him.

Lowering his hands to his lap, after doing that task he turns slightly to face the young man with sea bluish-green eyes – deep pools of that colour that remind him of clear pools of water with sunlight filtering down from canopy of trees to shine down on them – curious and intrigued in what will happen next.

The young man still on his hands and knees, while wearing a lace white tunic of sorts and black breeches – which must have been stolen to make what he wears now – reaches for one of Hannibal’s hands. Taking hold of it, while he forgets how to breathe at the feel of tempting kissable lips brush against his wrist’s pulse followed by hint of fangs.

“Something wrong, my Love?”  He asks, before he can correct himself because they’re not Lovers and yet, he couldn’t deny the attraction he was starting to develop for this feral Wolf-Child with curly-brown locks and something else within him he just couldn’t explain what.

“No, just the way you look at me.” The young man replies to him, lifting his head with his eyes closed at first, while stilling holding Hannibal’s wrist as Hannibal finds himself stroking the young man’s delicate cheekbone with feather light touches.

This makes the young man flutter his eyes open, revealing those beautiful eyes when he goes to move his hand away to sort the makeshift spit, so the meat doesn’t burn scorching him with such heat from that look, Hannibal can feel himself slowly becoming aroused then composes himself only just, asks the question.

“How do I look to you?” making the young man smile at him, replying with “As if you were deciding whether or not to eat me. Not that I’m adverse to the idea.” then goes back to nuzzling Hannibal’s wrist as Hannibal starts to feel conflicted by what has been said to him.

It was true, he had a darker side to after tortured in his own homeland by the rogue General – Vladimir Grutas – who overthrown his father and in front of his very young eyes at 17 years of age had taken his little baby sister away, while Gruta’s men took great relish and pleasure in violating his body again and again until he been forced to accept he would starve if he did not eat the food they gave him.

Then to his ultimate horror happened to him, they brought him food and due to his weakened state Hannibal had eaten it then afterwards had discovered the food had been his own sister – slaughtered for meat.

Anger had risen in him, while he soon killed the men who had murdered his sister and as the years went by when he travelled to the land King Mason owned after overthrowing King Crawford in the shadows of alleyways and underground caverns he was given another name “The Chesapeake Ripper” - based on the mythological monster the Wendigo from Ancient Texts who ate the flesh of man.

Coming out of the harsh, cold memory he locks it away in the oubliettes of his Mind Palace and slips his hand away to check the meat on the makeshift spit – finding it is ready to eat – then taking it off the holder, rips some of the meat off and holds it out to the young man.

Sea bluish-green eyes flick to the meat and to him than back to the meat, while Hannibal sighs softly and states. “It’s not poisoned. See.” tearing the meat piece in two then eating it to show to the young man it is only rabbit meat with some wild rosemary he found growing near the cave sprinkled on top.

The young man leans upwards though taking the other half of the meat from his fingers and placing it in his mouth soon presses his lips against Hannibal’s causing him to stiffen slightly then fully relaxing, opens his mouth as the meat is soon shared between them through their mouth’s.

He finds himself starting to breathe heavily through both his nostrils, changing position each time when a warm, moist tongue laps against his and starts to entwine as they keep on eating the rabbit meat between themselves then before he is even thinking of what he is doing, Hannibal has soon pinned the feral Wolf-child to the cave floor on his blanket – he had laid out from his traveling kit - and yet, keeps his hands either side of the young man’s head.

Both are breathing heavily, while he can feel soft hands start to unlace his clothes and pulls back heavily only to soon arch slightly with a breathless hitched gasp when feels the young man leans up to bite one of his nipples through the fabric of his crème-white tunic at the sametime twisting the other nipple, so it rises and peaks under those ministrations.

His hands begin to scar into the cave floor slightly as he un-arches his back and leans over the young man still gasping breathlessly as between his thighs in the confines of breeches, Hannibal can feel the tightening pressure indicating he is slowly becoming aroused and needs to release it one way or another then moves his head back down to kiss the young man again, needing to distract himself from it.

A hand clawing down his shoulder – sharp and lethal feeling to his skin – causes him to groan heavily in machoistic pleasure as it draws some blood in the process, while a sly soft hand soon slips between his thighs to cup him through his breeches heavily and starts to unlace him teasingly slow it makes move his lips away to pant heavily in the young man’s ear.

“If…. you don’t hurry. I won’t last much longer.”

“Don’t worry….I plan to extend this for very long indeed, Hunter.”

“Not….haaa….You wee minx!!!?….not Hunter, but Hannibal.”

“Hannibal….….hmm…then evidently I should tell you mine.”

“Yes…. ahhh!!…Oh, there, you wee minx!!!”

“Will, my name is Will.”

Hannibal wonders how long he can last, while Will now slips downwards, and he find himself flinging his head backwards crying out heavily when he finds himself swallowed down into moist, hot mouth then slipping his hands downwards grips the young man’s head to hold it closer to his groin, watching the sleek curly brown head start to bob back and forth between his thighs.

His mouth agape, he finds himself fisting his hands into the blanket for support as slick, slurp noises and breathless moans, gasps, pants and whimpers fill the cave then he tenses heavily, heart pounding heavily against ribcage feeling himself cup the young man’s cheek to stroke it as the sinful moist, hot mouth swallows down his release.

Soon Hannibal falls backwards to land slightly on the tree root and his travelling pack then whimpers from overstimulation when he is forced to experience another orgasm, while the young man has managed to slip his clothes off fully leaving him only in his crème-white tunic and lace breeches wide open to fully expose him.

“Enough…. Will…Enough!!!……I…want you!!” He gasps out, chest heaving heavily with laboured gasps making the young man raise his head, some remnants of Hannibal’s seed still on his lips and crawls up to him to look at him.

“You want….me?”

“Is that so much to ask of you?”

“No…..I want you as well, Hannibal. I want you…..as my….Mate.”

TO BE CONTINUED

For  @vintagefloof, @amatesura, @avidreadr2004, @crazystaglady, @hannigramfanfics and all the rest of the Fannibals out there. Here is the fic I have been working on… finally arrived. Enjoy.