#Timmers didnt sign up for this shit

[nightwingvixen23]

*Batboys outside tending to the back garden*

Tim : *wiping sweat from his brow*

Tim : I still don't get why I'm being punished along with you total assholes !

Tim : *angrily jerking more weeds up by their roots*

Tim : I mean, how was I supposed to know you guys were running back to the batmobile like that because you just got done egging an entire city block ???? you just hopped right the fuck on in yelling at me to "GO GO GO " so I fucking "WENT WENT WENT "

Tim : *tossing around gardening tools*

Tim : I thought that you guys were running to the car for SAFETY !!! I thought that maybe you guys were being hunted by some insane-psycho-biker-clown-gang-posse !!! that's the ONLY reason why I even bothered listening to you dumbasses about flooring the gas in the FIRST place !! how was I possibly supposed to know I was being used as a get away driver for a vandalizing heist--!?

Jason : would you quit your bitchin and just accept the fact that you're stuck here now. just like the rest of us. tiring ourselves out in the mid August heat just to make some mother fuckin petunias happy ??

Tim : I hate you so much right now. . . . .

Jason : oh yeah ?? well then go ahead and grab your ass a fuckin number and join the waiting list; currently 8,000 in serving

Dick : *walking over looking way too damn giddy in 90 degree weather*

Dick : you two sure are doing some great work over here !! good job !! 👍

Jason: no one's in the mood for your sappy-ass praise right now Dickface; feel free to fuck off whenever you'd like

Tim : have you even done your fair share of this punishment at all ?? or did Bruce actually decide to deputize you Camp Counciler this evening just for shit's and giggles

Dick : of course I'm helping; I just finished trimming the braches off of every single tree in here !! I'm honestly super offended you hadnt noticed how perfectly symmetrical I was able to make them !!

Tim : yeah well it's kinda hard to notice anything when Satan himself is busy bathing me with his tongue

Dick : *lost*

Tim : the sun, Dick. . . . . . i'm talking about the abusive heat of the sun

Dick : oooooh ! got it 👍

Jason : aye you guys, i've got a question real quick *does a quick double take around the garden*. . . . just where the hell is Damian at ?? don't tell me that the little demom spawn just up and fuckin bailed !! he's the one who's guilty of all the "severe destruction to public property" by finding a way to use those damned eggs like fuckin yolk filled grenades !!

*a Dami-sized shadow coming to loom over Jason crouched in the flowerbeds*

Jason : 👀

Damian : for your information I've already re seeded the lawn, pruned the roses, and staked the lemon tree saplings all within the literal 2 in a half hours that you've spent deadheading the same exact bed of petunias

Jason : *violently raking at the soil with a sudden vengence*

Dick : wow !!! that's amazing, Dami !! you sure did quite a lot of hard work today !! good job buddy ! 👍

Tim : omgee Dick, why've you been acting like this form of torture is nothing more than some light hearted team building exersice ?? stop "cheesing" so god damn hard and "thumbs-uping" us every 5 minutes like some middle aged suburban dad at the neighborhood block party for fuck's sake

Dick : a bit of cheerful encouragement never hurt anybody, Timmers 👍

Tim : well it's hurting me and I'm about 4 seconds away from snapping like a feral racoon if I so much as catch any indication of you going to raise your thumb again

Jason : yanno, it'd be easier to just break it

Tim : break it ??

Jason : to break his thumb

Tim : oh i don't doubt for a second that it would be easier. but an even better solution to the problem would actually be to break both thumbs at once; that way he won't be given the chance to pull that corny shit again--

Dick : *pouting* if you two don't want my thumbs-up then fine ! I'll find someone else who actually deserves them ! someone who will appreciate them ! and when you both come crawling back to me begging for those thumbs-up back . . . . it'll be too late; my thumbs and I will have already moved on

Jason : a'ight. sounds awesome 👌 remind me to light a candle for whatever thumbs-up idolizing-dumbass you're talkin about; poor bastard is gonna need ALL the fuckin prayers of mercy he can get his hands on

Damian : *gazing tiredly between the 3 former Robin's*

Damian : . . . . well, alright then. i'll be heading over to repot the Venus flytraps now

Dick : oh ! I completely forgot about those !! good thing you were here to remember for us, Baby Bat !

Tim : yep, leave it up to Damian as the only one who's gonna remember and volunteer to pamper a mindlessly carnivorous plant

Damian : I'm sorry Drake but if that was supposed to insult me then you're going to have to do better; because I personally do in fact relish this unique type of plant due to one specific trait

Tim : and that trait would be. . . ?

Damian : that the Venus flytrap could just get energy from the sun but chooses violence

Tim :

Damian : *wanders away*

Dick :

Jason : *distractedly stabbing the ground with a hand rake*

Tim :

Jason : *tossing the rake over his head in impatience*

Jason : not too sure if ya'll have caught on to this or not, but that boy over there lost one HELL of an important screw from inside that hard-ass head of his one day; only a matter of time til the whole damn internal system blows up

Batboys : *watching Damian handling the Venus flytrap plant with care*

Jason : snarky little piece of gremlin shit is just a ticking time bomb; I mean. . . .did you even see the damage he executed last night with just a dozen eggs ???

Dick : . . . just what exactly are you trying to imply here, Jay ?? that Damian is a ruthless murderer and that we're next on his long list of potential victims ??

Jason : *wide eyed*

Jason : the fuck you on about, Dickie ??

Dick : huh ??

Jason : okay hold up. time out. I'm lost

Dick : you're lost. I'm lost !

Jason : wait what ??

Dick : fuck, forget it. I think all this heat's finally getting to our heads. we should probably head back inside for a quick break. I know you're more than ready for that, right Timmers ?

Tim :

Dick : Tim ?

Jason : it'll be a minute since this mother fucker just had the audacity to faint his over-heated ass all over my petunias. . . . .