#Tiktok has been devious this week

[themintman]

[despairots]

CANDY NECKLACE: TIKTOK TREND

「 satoru gojo x gender neutral! reader 」

GENRE: slight suggestive themes, established relationship, crack, short story, sorta modern au, only for the phones though.

CONTENT WARNING: suggestive themes, swearing, not much i can cw, bottom reader.

AUTHORS NOTE: pls take this while i work on the oracle first chapter, i promise its almost done i just had this idea randomly. this is gender neutral but i wrote this with male reader in mind. yknow that trend where this girl has that candy necklace around her neck and goes around asking boys if they wanted some and she’d pull the necklace for them to take the candy in there month idk

being in a relationship with THE satoru gojo was bound to get you in the centre of attention (though you two have been in a relationship every since highschool years). students gave you pitiful glances that you had to deal with a literally man baby.

he’d whine and whine if you even decided to remove his arm around your waist to take a piss, it was annoying but you loved him anyways. if being a jujutsu sorcerer was your first job them being a babysitter was your second one.

not once have you seen a 28-year old man— who’s the strongest out there aswell— pout and act all dramatic when you decline him of a kiss. he would pull a heartbroken women act right out of his ass and hold onto you while staring into your soul.

(“after i birthed your kids!?”)

(“WHAT.”)

though, there was moments where he could act like a little child at one point and transition to a full on teasing boyfriend.

he would glide his fingers against your arms until they reached your lips—parting them with his thumb— as he neared your lips, teasing the air between you both before pulling back completely (which resulted with a bruise on his head).

he teased you and often worships your skin, leaving bruises and marks wherever he can reach. those happened when missions had to separate you both, making you both worry for eachother. And when you’re both in eachother’s arms, you know where that leads you both.

just today there was a mission that involved gojo, you, aswell as his students. the end if it, gojo had proposed a sleepover, so that’s where you are now.

a over sized shirt over you with gojo’s boxers and on the shared, a pillow in your arms and the lights shut off, only light source from the tv and the flashlight gojo had.

“.. and them boom! [name] nullified their ability and the curse exploded!”

the students (well, yuuji and kugisaki. megumi wasn’t interested) awed, stars exploding in their eyes as your eye twitched. now, he was just making shit up. you sighed, pinching gojo’s eyes and hearing him whine, “that isn’t what happened.”

he pouted, “i can’t tell my students how absolutely amazing you are?” yeah, he can. it boosted your ego but not when he was speaking a bunch of lies, “no, baby.” placing a kiss on his cheek as megumi internal gagged at the sight.

“we should play truth or dare. telling stories are kinda boring now. megumi, you in?” yuuji turned to the spiky black haired boy beside him, everyone knew his answer already.

“absolutely not.” plain glances were handed to him.

why did it almost reminded you of a highschool party by how yuuji and kugisaki laughed evily while looking at you? they’re scheming something you didn’t want to be apart of. you sweatdropped when kugisaki cleared her thought.

she looked at you with a devious gaze, “[name], truth or dare?” of course you were first, “truth.” god, you pussy! although, it seemed like if you picked dare it wouldn’t be any better then picking truth.

“how often do you and gojo do it?” your face paled while you turned to gojo slowly, and he had a grin on his face!? how insane is this guy!? “it’s a truth, [name]~ how often do we do it?” he teased you, pinching your cheek in his fingers.

“you’re not helping!”

“come on! don’t be a wussy!” he wiggled his fingers infront of you, holding your pillow as shield as you answered, “twice or once a week.” kugisaki and yuuji fist bumped eachother, how horrible of them.

the game went on and on until kugisaki had asked you a dare, a dare that made gojo gasp in excitement. it worked since he was a sweet tooth aswell.

kugisaki cleared her throat, holding something behind her back, “it’s you once again, [name]. truth or dare?” you hummed, thinking about which one would have the least consequences. you had chosen truth more then you had choose dare— about 6 to 10– “dare.”

she laughed, pulling a candy necklace out from her back, watching gojo’s eyes sparkle. “i dare you to wear this candy necklace and after each round, gojo takes a bit out of each one.” you sulked into the couch, gojo patting your head.

gojo took it from kugisaki’s hand, pulling it over your head as it nestled around your neck. he pulled on the necklace, nearing close to your neck where you fault his breath against it before taking one of the candy from the necklace.

this was gonna be long.

bite after bite, dare after dare, and truth after truth. the necklace was halfway done and your embarrassment was starting to get to you.

the way he kept slowly tugged the necklace to his mouth while maintaining eye contact and biting into the candy made your breath hitch every time he did, he was teasing you, like he always did.

and the students knew aswell, that’s why they kept drawing this game out.

“truth or dare, gojo?” yuuji had asked, his phone in his hand as he stared up at his teacher, “dare.” he had more balls then you. after kugisaki had given you the candy necklace, your choices of picking dare was very unlikely.

“i dare you to show us your last photo for your eyes only.” oh. oh! the last photo was your blushing face in bed. was gojo gonna take this dare and have his students see him and you differently?

it looked like he was thinking long and hard until he had answer, “can i not take it?” you let out a relief breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in.

yuuji and megumi looked at eachother before shrugging, “okay but you’ll have to finish [name]’s necklace and tell us your favourite position—“

“you guys are minors! how do you know this stuff!?” you interjected with embarrassment, taking notice of gojo’s twitching fingers. he was holding himself back from throwing your legs over his shoulders and eating all the candy on your neck.

megumi slapped the back of yuuji’s head, “let’s just go to sleep.” you agreed with megumi’s words, hearing the other two whine before stomping to their rooms you had offered them.

sighing in relief, you threw your head back against the couch, feeling your embarrassment disappear from your entire body— until the necklace was tugged again and placed into gojo’s mouth.

there was a clear and evident look in his eyes that he wanted more, fixing your positions into something more comfortable before throwing one of your legs over his shoulders and leaning closer to your neck.

“i’m not finished.”

oh shit.

[dwtdog]

fem dnf week day 3 :P

--

“Hey Dream,” George says out of the blue, leaning forward from where she’d been relaxing against the couch cushions, phone held lazily above her face. Dream’s head is in her lap, her eyes fluttering slowly open when George calls her name. “Oh shit, were you asleep?”

Dream yawns, lips stretching over her oddly sharp canines, before answering. “Mm- no. Was just resting.”

“That’s good,” George smiles down at her, tracing a finger along her hairline. Dream looks to be on the verge of actually falling asleep, and George has half a mind to let her- her girlfriend is always working too hard, rarely giving herself moments to rest. But out of the corner of her eye, George sees the TikTok that had inspired her original thought still playing on loop, and it gives her the conviction to ask. “Do you want to do something?”

“Like what?” Dream asks, tilting her head back against George’s leg to chase after her fingers as they hover just over her. George obligingly pets through her hair, careful not to tug too hard on messy curls. 

“Like you let me do your makeup,” George says, shutting her phone off with a little click. “And you can’t give me any advice.”

That gets a small smile out of Dream. “You just want an excuse to touch my face,” she says accusingly. 

George pokes her eyebrow. “What, like I have been for the past few minutes?”

“Exactly,” Dream giggles. “I think you like me. Maybe you even have a crush on me.”

“Well you’re the freak who let’s me touch her face even if you’ll complain about breaking out. You’re obsessed with me,” George pokes her cheek this time. 

“What, you want me to stop?” Dream pouts, lips comically turned to a frown. “I think you don’t.”

“I plead the fifth.”

“You’re British, you can’t,” 

George huffs. “Fine, whatever. I hate you, and I’m leaving you here. No more pillow. I’ll steal your makeup and use it on myself.”

“Now that I’d like to see,” Dream says, sitting up and freeing George’s legs. “But fine. You do my makeup, no help whatsoever. But you have to let me try your guitar.”

George groans. “Ugh, fine. I guess that’s fair. But if you break it you’re buying me a new one. A better one.”

“What, that’s no fair,” Dream says. “I’m letting you use all my fancy shit with no guarantees.”

“You sound like an advert.”

“You started it!” George shoots back, earning a confused look for Dream as she, as a matter of fact, had not started it. “Whatever, come on. Or I’m going to eat the fancy lipstick you’re always talking about.”

Dream stands quickly, eyes darting between the door to her room and George, who follows suit and stands as well. They’re close, George having stood almost directly into Dream’s chest, which makes both of them blush. 

In a rather devious move, George darts forward, standing on her toes to place a quick kiss on Dream’s cheek, before turning and running for the bedroom door. Dream takes a moment to chase after her, the kiss a suitable distraction, and George gleefully pulls the door open, heading straight for the vanity, and all of Dream’s normally off-limits makeup.

It’s a rarity in their relationship, for anything to be unshared. But Dream is very particular about her makeup, because it’s a collection she’d curated for years- one of the few things she ever let herself spend large amounts of money on. She’d been shy the first time she’d told George about it, as if expecting her to judge the expansive collection. 

But George had been in awe, completely enamored with her girlfriend’s technical skill at the craft, and how cute she got when she talked about things she was passionate about.

Dream had done George’s makeup a million times before- George didn’t like the feel of it all that much, a bit of a sensory nightmare for her, but she enjoyed Dream’s hands and her gentle touch, so she endured. They’d found a fix eventually, something that had started as a joke- Dream would use clean, dry brushes on George, explaining the colors and products she’d use if she really were doing her makeup.

It’s the only basis of knowledge George has for her current endeavor, but she’s hopeful that her determination will make up for her lack of knowledge.

She’s really not even that sure why she’s so driven to do it all of a sudden. The TikTok had been cute, sure, small touches between a couple who seemed absolutely enamored with each other. It was something about the way they’d looked at each other that had made George misty eyed and wanting, and Dream had been right there.

So here she is, in front of the huge mirror that hangs over the equally ludicrous vanity, covered in all sorts of products. She’s already lost, in tubes and brushes that seem indistinguishable from each other.

Dream appears behind her, arms wrapping around her waist- a common position for them. She rests her head on George’s shoulder, swaying them slightly as they look, together, at the display before them.

It takes George’s breath away, to see them pressed together like this. She likes the way Dream’s hands look hooked in front of her stomach, the way their hair brushes in a mix of dark and light. 

But she has a mission. 

“Sit,” she commands, stepping away. Dream whines, but she goes to pull the chair from the desk, spinning it around to sit and still be able to face George. “Good job,” George adds cheekily, nudging Dream’s knee with her own as she approaches the desk, eyes scanning for a place to start. 

She can feel the way Dream is itching to give her advice with the way she shifts in the chair, socked feet pulling her closer to the desk. George grabs a tube of lipstick.

In the mirror, she sees Dream bite her lip, eyes flicking between the lipstick in George’s hand and her face in the reflection. 

George, not one to be stopped by judgemental girlfriends, pops the top off the tube and twists it up, turning to face Dream with her eyes squinted in concentration. 

“Do this,” she demands, pursing her lips like a fish. Dream takes a moment to comply, making a few more pointed glances between the lipstick and some other, nondescript tube that George had written off as irrelevant, before finally copying George. 

George is careful as she smudges the lipstick along Dream’s lips, wary of damaging it for all her teasing. It hardly seems to work, coming out in patchy bits. She frowns, but keeps trying. She can see Dream already trying not to laugh, her shoulders shaking lightly with it. 

When the lipstick ends up on Dream’s skin, just above her top lip, it’s both their faults. George pulls back, frowning at Dream. Dream just blinks up at her innocently. “What? Did you do it?”

“I did- something,” George says, rubbing at the mess with her thumb. It works, surprisingly, and she sets the lipstick down to peruse her other options. “This is harder than I thought it would be,” she announces after a moment, turning to glare at Dream like its her fault George had gotten the idea in her head.

That softens Dream’s expression. “Yeah, it can be a lot at first. Look- do you want me to show you?” Her voice gets all shy, like it did the first time she’d talked about this with George. 

George melts. “Please,” she says, setting down the palette she’d picked up. “Just- walk me through the eye makeup. I always like it when you do it.”

“Okay,” Dream says, beaming. “It’s kind of tricky, but you have a steady hand which is half the battle.”

Nodding, George picks up a different palette, this one all shades of blue. They seem to glow in the light of the room. 

“That’s the palette I used for our first date,” Dream says. “Since you said you were colorblind I figured it would look the best because- y’know.”

“Oh,” George says, breathless. “Can I use it, then? On you?”

“Of course,” Dream scoots closer, until her knees are wrapped around George’s. “But you’ll want to do a primer first.”

She’s a good teacher, walking George through the process with methodical steps. She points out all the products, and explains what they do just like she does when she does George’s makeup, but it’s easier for George to remember when she’s the one using them, touching them, seeing the colors come to life with every touch. 

Her hands are steady, but she does mess up a few times. Dream only smiles, saying it’s a good chance to explain the best way to fix mistakes, and walks her through it. 

Finally, they get to the last step, which Dream says is the most important element.

“You’ve got to seal the deal,” she explains seriously, looking up at George through her lashes, now clumped with mascara. George hadn’t gotten that part quite right, too afraid to hurt Dream by hitting her in the eye. 

“Didn’t we already do the spray-thingy?” George asks, confused. Dream smirks.

“No, that’s not it,” she says. “It’s a special final step, for when you’re doing you’re girlfriends makeup. Super important.”

George wracks her brain, thinking back to the countless times she’d been on the opposite end of this treatment. The problem is, by the end of it she’s usually sleepy and love drunk, overwhelmed by all the small touches used to build the final look, or the pretend version of one. 

“I got nothing,” she admits at last, tapping her fingers against the wood of the vanity. 

Dream stands, and now it’s George’s turn to look up at her. “You seal it with a kiss, idiot,” she says, her tone not at all consistent with her words- honey sweet, dripping from messy red lips. 

George giggles, taking Dream’s hands in hers. She has to admit, the final look is passable, especially from this angle. 

Dream’s lips are warm against hers, the lipstick slightly sticky. George uses their joined hands to pull Dream closer until they’re pressed together, all hot bodies and muffled sighs as George demands more, pressing her lips harder against Dream’s, running her tongue over her lips. There’s a bit of a fascinating almost plastic taste, and George chases it.

When they break apart to breathe, George chokes back a laugh. If the lipstick had been messy before, it’s a downright tragedy now, 

But Dream is laughing too, her eyes fixed on George’s lips. George whirls to see her reflection in the mirror, groaning when she sees her reflection- an equally disastrous look, and she’d managed to get some of the stuff on her teeth.

“You can be in charge of makeup from now on,” Georeg declares, rubbing furiously at her face with the back of her hand. Dream stops her with gentle fingers on her wrist, shaking her head as she guides it away. 

“Thanks baby, and here I was thinking you’d be taking my job,” she teases. George drops her head against Dream’s shoulder, groaning. “But seriously,” Dream adds, bringing a hand up to rest on George’s head. “You weren’t so bad. Really! You have potential.”

George just shakes her head, the fabric of Dream’s shirt soft against her forehead. “You’re just saying that ‘cause you’re my girlfriend and you have to be nice to me.”

“If I had to be nice to you I’d let you win in Minecraft more,” Dream says in the same sweet voice, and George just sighs. She wouldn’t trade this idiot for the world. 

[bllsbailey]

Government Overreach Run Amok: NY State Kills Peanut the Squirrel

I admit it; I’ve grown especially fond of squirrels. They’re devious little brats, as they should be because they’re just trying to survive in a Charles Darwin world of survival. 

I have a bunch of them in my yard, and they are absolutely ingenious at stealing the bird food that I’ve set up for my feathered friends—they eventually figure out almost any device or measure I put out to stop them. (I finally found one that works: a reverse cone set up on the bird feeder that prevents them from jumping up on it. Thank me later.)

But don't tell that to the odious bureaucrats in Gov. Kathy Hochul's New York. They felt the need to take out Peanut:

Squirrels have earned my hard-earned respect, and when I open my office door in the morning as I get to work, and they're outside in the yard giving me that little cute-eyed stare, I'm man enough to admit that I’m kinda touched.

It is understood that, for some, squirrels are pests and must be eliminated. I get it—I had family members back in the day who lived in Wyoming, and although the myriad gophers, or "picket pins" as we used to call them, were cute, they were negatively contributing to the situation and had to be taken out.

So we did what needed to be done, and we took care of that. Sometimes reality is hard.

But was there any need for NY State to step in and kill this guy’s pet? You be the judge:

Peanut the Squirrel, of internet fame, has been euthanized after the pet was seized by New York state earlier this week, according to the Department of Environmental Conservation. The seven-year-old gray rescue squirrel, commonly referred to as “P’Nut” on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, was put to death, along with Fred the raccoon, so that the animals could be tested for the presence of rabies, according to a statement from the agency obtained by WETM.  

Literally – why?!

After all, he was here legally, unlike so many other interlopers under the Harris-Biden regime:

Was this necessary? No.

“RIP MY BEST FRIEND. Thank you for the best 7 years of my life. Thank you for bringing so much joy to us and the world. I’m sorry I failed you but thank you for everything,” Longo wrote in a caption to the post announcing Peanut’s death.

Listen, I’m no snowflake, and I get that we are carnivores (or omnivores if you so choose), and I love my pork, my steak, and my chicken. And I’ve worked on a ranch—I have no illusions about how meat gets to our table. I once was tasked on a farm with getting the chickens ready for eating, and I admit, it was a sobering process. Taking a live chicken and making it ready for your fried hot wings does wake you up to some harsh realities. But there is a little thing called evolution that made us this way, and you can’t chuck it away based on a slogan. The reality is we are the ultimate predator, and we were made to eat flesh as at least part of our diet.

But somehow, that same evolutionary force bred kindness into our hearts, and many of us pray for the sacrifices of the animals that provide us our meals. We do not wantonly torture animals or hurt them for no reason, and in fact, we take millions of them into our homes and consider them family.

Was Peanut a threat to you, me, or anybody else? It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

What it does seem like it is a gross big government overkill that seems right out of Orwell’s "1984." I love my little squirrel family that dominates my backyard, and if anybody comes to try to say otherwise, be advised that I will take full advantage of my Second Amendment Rights.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the weekend!

Wow! Here we are again: Friday! Where did that week go? No, seriously, where did that week go?

My Thursday was top drawer! Two classes of bright students. We had a right laugh! The time flew by. Today I’m working from home. Lots to do. In other words, be at The Trouble’s beck and call. Does that make me any less masculine? I deliver hot drinks to her desk. It seems the chivalrous thing to do.

I watched a TikTok clip about a survey amongst women. They’d been asked the most important quality in a man. The answer: masculinity. Not show-off, big-muscle strength! Strong men do not have to demonstrate their strength. According to this survey, number one most important quality: women want to feel safe and protected by their man. They want their man to be a man. Not lecherous, not devious, not duplicitous. Masculinity is defined as strength, confidence, decisiveness, bravery, loyalty and honesty. When I deliver hot drinks to The Trouble’s desk, I am taking care of her. In a fight, I am in her corner. When she needs reassurance, I provide it. When she needs that pep talk, I have the words. In the evening, I prepare her a vodka martini. It seems the chivalrous thing to do.

In another TikTok clip, a 50 year-old woman made some interesting points about dating a 50 year-old woman. She felt that, when she was 20 (and the man was 20-odd) she needed a provider. She needed a knight on his white horse to rescue her from the trauma of dating. She needed someone with a bit of experience, a bit of knowledge, a bit of know-how. But now, she says, now that she’s 50, she doesn’t need a provider. She doesn’t need a man to help and guide her. She’s self-sufficient, she has her own money, she has self-esteem, and what she REALLY needs is a man to show her a good time: lunches, dinner, holidays etc. That made sense to me. I’m not arguing with a 50 year-old woman!

The area where I live – Harlesden – has had a pretty bad rep for many years. It was allegedly a slum, a ghetto, or a no-go area. One ex-friend nicknamed it as Rapesville. In October, a house round the corner from us (a good-sized family house) sold for £1,415,000. Somebody clearly thinks it’s a desirable area! To get that mortgage, the buyer must be on some serious wedge!

Hope you can join me tomorrow at 1.00 p.m. for ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’. Tomorrow is The Letter L (Part Two). Executive Producer on the show is Sharon Newton and she has done a great job! I’ve got Gayle Dumont currently preparing Part Three. Bringing the big guns out!

Have a fabulous and funky Friday! I love you all. You’re probably thinking, “You don’t even know me!” but, if people can hate for no reason, why can’t I love?

[fruitcoops]

Tiktok Trend: Black Sheep

This is entirely based off this tiktok, which has been bouncing around in my head for about a week and always makes me laugh. Andromeda's been mentioned a couple times in some older fics, but I thought it might be fun to finally introduce her! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, as always <3

TW for mentioned racist/ sexist/ homophobic family members and disownment (in a joking way)

“Sirius!” Andromeda called over her shoulder as she scrolled through the literal thousands of comments for her favorites, popping her gum at her cousin when he poked his head around the corner.

Sirius pulled a face right back at her. “What?”

“You’re stealing my spotlight again.”

“You don’t like the spotlight.”

Andromeda raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, which of us was the first to be deemed a family disappointment based on their choice in partner?”

Sirius rolled his eyes with a huff and padded over to the couch, leaning his elbows behind her head to see the phone screen. “What did I do this time?”

They had filmed the video as a bit of a joke, not intending for anyone to see it—Andromeda only had twenty followers on TikTok at the time, and she was pretty sure half of them were bots. When your racist/ sexist/ homophobic family members start getting a little too comfortable at Thanksgiving dinner, read curly script across the top of the screen as Eminem’s Without Me played in the background.

Andromeda stepped into frame a moment later, walking past the camera in slow motion with a smirk and a casual flip of her hair. The black dress was one of her favorites, knee-length with a slightly low-cut bodice; her mother used to say it looked ‘slutty’ and ‘debasing’, which obviously meant she wore it on every possible occasion. The cousin that married ‘below her class’ was written in the same cursive lettering at her side.

Sirius followed in her footsteps, a devious smile on his face as he adjusted his rainbow tie and slid his wedding ring on. The gay cousin signed to the family’s rival team who they can’t get rid of because the disownment papers are still processing sat happily in a text box by his head as he passed the camera as well.

And then came Regulus, wearing a cocky grin that Andromeda had only seen blossom over the past year. He shook out his suit cuffs and straightened the purple-gray flag pin on his lapel, then stuck his hands in his pockets and strolled past as the cousin that dropped out of the NHL to go to college and made sure the bloodline ended with him stood stark white against the bushes in front of Sirius’ house.

None of them had actually gone to the annual holiday dinner hosted at Sirius’ parents house, of course, but it was the thought that counted. They had made the video for a laugh before heading off to Dumo’s; when Andromeda returned to her phone eight hours later, the video had 200,000 views and just over 40,000 likes.

She craned her neck back to look at Sirius as he laughed at the replay. “Read these fucking comments, you fame thief.”

Lionsfan89: HELLO??? IS THAT SIRIUS BLACK???

mandomallow: First of all ma’am please stomp on me second of all are you aware you have TWO famous hockey players in your driveway

LupinLover3: THAT’S SIRIUS FUCKING BLACK WTFFFF WHO ARE YOU LADY

tromblerone: Are we just ignoring the fact that Sirius and Regulus Black are making tiktoks with random ppl now :sobbing emoji:

nhl4days: Oh my god Regulus looks so happy stop I’m gonna cry

merqueen15: I litcherally have no words imagine being related to THEE Sirius Black couldn’t be me

21macattack: There are too many hot people in this video pls have mercy

bibibiboba: If being sexy is a gene this family has all of it and honestly I can’t even complain

lemonsqueezy8437: LMAOO CAN YOU IMAGINE ROLLING UP TO FAMILY THANKSGIVING AND SIRIUS AND REGULUS BLACK ARE SITTING AT THE TABLE WITH YOU

lillyofthevallley: How many people did that family kick out oh my god???? Also drop the skincare routine queen you’re GLOWING

Dozens more comments focused specifically on Andromeda—the vain little part of her heart appreciated the ones that asked for her curl routine—but she couldn’t quite get over the fact that all it took to bump her follower count to over twenty thousand people (and counting) was her geeky baby cousins.

“Hey.” She poked Sirius’ arm as he reached over her head to scroll through the comments, giggling to himself. “Hey. I’m the hot one, remember?”

“Tell that to your followers, Andy. Reg! Get in here!”

“What?” a distant voice called.

“Andy’s TikTok famous!”

There was barely half a second pause before footsteps came pounding up the stairs with all the grace one would expect from a 20-year-old college student. “How the hell did you get TikTok famous?” he asked, perching on the back of the couch like some rumpled bird.

She cocked a brow. “Remember that video from Thanksgiving?”

“Ouais.”

“You and your stupid brother are stealing my fans.”

Sirius flicked her forehead lightly and she batted him away. “Hey, we gave you those fans.”

“I’m going to post all of your embarrassing baby pictures in my next video,” she threatened around a smile with a playful kick to his pajama-clad thigh as he skirted around her to go back to the kitchen. “All of them! Oldest cousin privilege!”

First, though, she had a curl-care process to film.

[mercy-burning]

No Fun

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Everyone knows there’s no fun in friends without benefits. (Inspired by the song Friends Without Benefits by Chloe Collins) Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Strong language, drinking, oral sex (fem receiving), mention of male receiving oral sex, penetrative/unprotected sex, creampie Word Count: 3.4k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Hello! Sorry my scheduling has been all over the place lately, as I’m sure you’re probably tired of hearing about at this point 😅 But, No Fun is finally out!! (It was also a very good way for me to ease myself back into writing after recovering from my cold alsdjflsdkjf) Also, if you don’t follow Chloe on TikTok (or any social, really) you should! She’s super sweet and writes all her songs about Criminal Minds. This one’s my favorite, though! It’s such a vibe, I hope you’ll all give it a listen! 😊❤

***

Her eyes opened of their own accord. No alarm, no ring of the cellphone, no hand on her shoulder accompanied by the voice of one of her co-workers saying they'd finally landed... She liked it that way. Not only because it meant she had that rare peace and quiet first thing in the morning—though that was definitely a perk. It also meant that she was most likely at Spencer's apartment.

In his bed.

In his shirt.

As her eyes adjusted to the golden warmth that beamed through the curtains, she stretched out her arms and legs, knowing full well that he was in the kitchen; He was always in the kitchen, ever the early bird.

Speaking of, the smell of coffee started to permeate into the bedroom, and it comforted her further as she rose into a seated position. In a matter of minutes, the coffee would be ready, and Spencer would be waiting patiently, sipping from his own cup while hers sat untouched at the spot across from him.

Normally, she would get dressed and meet him out there, but upon remembering all the delicious things that happened in that kitchen the night before, she was feeling a little devious.

So she got out of bed and removed her underwear, leaving her in just his shirt, which barely covered her ass. She was going to leave them in the bedroom, but after a split second decision, she ended up striding out into the kitchen with the garment dangling from her fingers.

"Good morning," she sang, standing in front of the kitchen counter. It covered her lower half, so the only indication of her indecent exposure took form of the fabric in her hand.

Spencer was reading something, not bothering to look up as he spoke. "Good morning. Your coffee's how you like it. I thought we could stop at the gas station on the way in to get something to eat."

"Yeah, that's fine," she responded, setting the underwear on the counter and picking up her coffee. "But I was hoping you would eat me instead."

She nonchalantly lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip as he finally looked up, raising an eyebrow. Her eyes glanced down at the counter as if to say, Look...

And he did.

The seductive sparkle in his eye at the sight in front of him sent a drip of excitement into her bloodstream that rippled throughout her whole body. It always had.

That's initially what drew her to him in the first place. Yeah, it was common knowledge to anyone that Spencer was intelligent, endearing, and handsome, but it was his flirty side that really got Y/N going. It didn't come out often, if at all— unless he was drunk or with the person of his affections.

Y/N found this out when the team threw him an impromptu birthday party last year. After discovering that he hadn't reminded anyone of his thirtieth birthday, Emily immediately called Penelope back home to start planning, and she looped everyone in before they landed later that night. Y/N herself was kind of disappointed with herself for even fathoming the idea of forgetting her friend's birthday, especially since she'd known him for years and celebrated his birthday with him and their friends before.

So before the party that night, she decided to go out and get him something. Only, she couldn't find anything, and it was on her way back when everyone was wondering where she was that Y/N started to question whether or not she really deserved to be considered his friend.

It didn't stop her from putting on a happy face and celebrating his birthday to the fullest, though— She showed up and hugged him immediately, holding onto him perhaps a little too long before offering to give him anything he wanted as compensation for forgetting his birthday, and his thirtieth at that. Of course, he insisted that she didn't really have to do anything for him, but she knew that was just him being himself.

Nonetheless, the party moved along, and with pretty much everyone out of his apartment after a long night of drinking and cake and celebration, Spencer and Y/N were the only two left, buzzed and sitting a little too close.

After convincing him to let loose and have a little fun on his 'special day', Y/N had managed to get him to help her finish an entire bottle of wine. And he'd been making his way through a few beers as the sun set and the stars came out.

And then he started looking at her weird.

That was the only way she could have described it in her drunken state, but it was certainly true, if only for the fact that it wasn't a look she'd ever seen from him before. His eyes were wide, pupils blown to almost full dilation, and his tongue kept dancing behind his lips like he was tracing out some sort of invisible pattern.

When she confronted him about it, drunkenly giggling and asking why he was looking at her like that, he laughed back and flat-out told her, "Have I ever told you how pretty y'are?" And she didn't even get a chance to respond before he continued. "Y/N, you're really pretty... Like, you're the prettiest woman I-ever seen."

"You're pretty, too, y'know, birthday boy," she laughed, smiling incredibly wide. Her whole body was practically on fire, and it only got hotter when he leaned in and kissed her, hard and sloppy, and with purpose.

They went on that night, stumbling around every square inch of his apartment while mumbling drunken compliments and haphazardly throwing aside their clothes until they woke up the next morning in his bed, naked, hungover, and absolutely shocked by what had happened.

Things at work were significantly more awkward, as to be expected, but as the days went on, the more they started to catch little stolen glances and shared recovered memories of what really happened.

More specifically, Y/N couldn't stop replaying these few sentences in her head, on a loop in between flashes of hands in hair and tongues on skin...

"You said you'd give me anything I wanted, right? What if I want you?"

"Then go ahead... Have me."

...Have me...

They met up in the parking lot one day after work and simultaneously blurted out in their own words how they couldn't stop thinking about what happened and how much they wanted to do it again...

And they did.

That seductive sparkle in his eye was there when he kissed her that first night on his birthday, it was there just before they started making out in the parking lot just a week later, and it was there now as he looked down at her panties on the table and then flitted his gaze up to meet hers.

Y/N's body buzzed with a thrill as Spencer made his way around the kitchen counter and dropped to his knees as she sat on the barstool and spread her legs for him.

***

They were late for work that morning.

To make it inconspicuous, Y/N showed up ten minutes after Spencer did— maybe a little exaggerated, but it didn't raise any suspicions. It might have sucked when as soon as she walked in everyone was on their way out to go to the airstrip, Hotch with his phone in hand and ready to dial her number, but nobody suspected a thing.

Spencer threw a little smirk at her as he passed, and she resisted the urge to smack his ass out of spite.

She would have done it, too, but there were two specific rules they'd set once they decided to regularly sleep together, and one of them was that nothing could happen at work or around their friends. And regardless of how badly they wanted to steal kisses or touches at work, their arrangement meant too much to compromise. Once either rule was broken, their little friends with benefits excursion would be immediately void.

Unfortunately, after a flight that was absolutely laced with their sexual tension and once they'd landed in Minnesota for this latest case, they both shared a look that practically set in stone the undeniable, inevitable truth.

They were obsessed.

The whole ordeal was incredibly exhilarating, already an inevitable outcome when it came to regularly sleeping with a co-worker, but what they weren't counting on was just how thrilling it was. Almost a year into their extracurricular activities and they were spending just about every free moment attached by mouths and hands and limbs. And as time progressed it became increasingly more difficult to keep to themselves, needing to be in proximity to one another constantly.

That's not to say they weren't excellent at handling it, though.

Sure, the burning in their veins at the sight of one another after knowing what it was like to be intimate was excruciating, and being paired together on cases knowing that they couldn't break any rules had them feeling like they were going to drown... But the pay-off after a long period of time with no physical contact was absolutely worth it.

All the secrecy and the holding back made it that much explosive when they finally got a decent moment alone.

Right now they were on their way back from a week-long case in Georgia.

And maybe it was fucked up, but once the team realized it was going to be rather grueling, the first thing Y/N thought was how better her stress relief was going to be when they finally finished. The second she thought it, she briefly glanced over at Spencer and saw that he had the same look on his face.

Even during the jet ride home, they were sitting on opposite sides while everyone slept around them, staring at each other and only breaking eye contact when someone rustled in their sleep.

Grueling images of the things they'd seen in the past week danced between them alongside flashes of all the things they wanted to do to each other as compensation. They heard faint screams and gunshots muffled by the high moans and shouts of each others' names, heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin...

The only word that sat between them as they clamored into Spencer's car and drove off was, "Drive."

It was late. They were exhausted and alert all at the same time. Their bodies were practically on fire. Y/N's leg bounced rapidly as Spencer's fingers tapped the steering wheel with fervor and impatience. And when he knew there would be no one around to pull them over for speeding, he stepped on the gas harder, and their heartbeats picked up right alongside their speed.

Even the walk up to his apartment was laced with impatience, Y/N's leg still bouncing as Spencer unlocked the door.

They rushed through it the second there was a tiny sliver of light from the dim nightlight she knew he kept in the entryway.

And then it was beautiful, heavenly chaos.

The door slammed loudly as Spencer leaned his whole body weight against Y/N, sending her flying towards it. They were drawn together like a magnet to a fridge, a moth to a flame, days of pent-up frustration and tension beginning its firework show right there in his entryway as their mouths clashed together.

No amount of contact was good enough it seemed, because it was just constant movement. Their hands wandered and their bodies pressed into each other continuously as they kissed the breath out of each other. Even still, they continued all the way to his bedroom, grunting while bumping into furniture and walls and doorways, but never daring to separate an inch all the same.

"God, I needed you," Spencer whispered once his bedroom door was shut. His hands tugged at her shirt and tried to get the buttons done as he continued. "All fucking week, you were just right there and I couldn't touch you..."

Y/N pressed her mouth to his and started hastily unbuttoning his shirt as well. After a few seconds, he pulled his mouth away and started to speak again, his fingers still trying to get her shirt undone. "I need it bad..."

With a frustrated grunt, Y/N pulled him in closer by the collar of his shirt and hissed into his mouth, "Then shut up and fucking take it..."

Her words kicked him in the ass and shot him forward, sending them flying towards the door once again. She yelped at the sharp pain that came and went as her back hit the wood, but with Spencer's hands finally tearing open her shirt and settling on her bare waist as he practically shoved his tongue down her throat, she couldn't complain.

Both of their shirts came off, and as soon as they hit the floor her hands went to his hair. She tugged on the wavy locks, a soft moan escaping her as he dipped his hands under the back of her bra and worked the clasp. It came off quickly, as it always did, and once it hit the floor he leaned down and gave her breasts all his attention. His tongue swirled around her nipples one my one, littering her skin with kisses in between and reveling in the way she kept tugging on his hair each time he gently tugged a nipple with his teeth.

Eventually, they both couldn't take any more, Y/N pushing his head down while tugging down her slacks and Spencer being glad she did, using his hands to assist her.

Having known for about a year now how heavenly his mouth was when it worked at her wasn't even a fair warning for the intensity of the shudders that soared through her body when his lips made contact with her clit just then. She let out a loud, broken cry of relaxation and relief and pure ecstasy as he practically devoured her.

His tongue was gliding through her with ease, ravening groans erupting from his throat and sending more sharp waves of excitement through Y/N's bloodstream with every passing second. His ministrations were quick and greedy, sloppy yet precise. And when he added his fingers to the mix, she gripped his hair tight and cried out his name, tensing at the sweet, burning stretch they provided.

That only drove him more wild, his tongue flicking over her clit faster while his fingers pumped, curled, and dragged languidly inside of her. He worked to pull every ounce of pleasure from her body, all while squeezing his eyes shut and losing himself in the taste of her, the way her thighs lightly trembled over his face and the desperate clutches of her fingers in his hair...

He wanted all of it. All of her.

He also wanted to hear that sound she made when he was helping her through the peak of her orgasm— a high, dreamy cry that boiled his insides and turned him into an animal.

And there it was, with just three more quick pumps of his fingers. It started off soft, though he knew the second he sucked on her clit and grazed her g-spot with his fingers it would careen higher and louder, right into that perfect pitch that he wished he could hear for eternity. Her thighs shook almost violently around his head, her fingers clawing at his scalp so tight that he felt little pinpricks of pleasure run down the back of his head and through his neck.

Y/N came down soon after, her voice resorting to small whimpers and pants as she tried to push his head away. But it wasn't until she actually tugged his hair up that Spencer finally retreated and got up off the floor.

"I thought you wanted me to take it?" he panted, already missing the warmth of her legs over his face.

She reached down and started toying with his belt, pulling him closer by the leather and throwing him a smirk. "Yeah, but now I wanna take it."

Before she could sink to her knees, though, he stopped her, walking her towards the bed and sitting her down as he finished taking off his pants. "Another time... Right now I need to be inside of you."

The urgency dripping in his voice and through his movements made Y/N burn all over again, and really, who was she to argue? Yeah, maybe she wanted to suck the living soul out of him, but his eagerness to get to the main event gave her the opportunity to treat him tomorrow morning. Spencer was always hard in the morning (at least on the rare occasion that she'd wake up before he did), and the thought of his sleepy groans and whines as she slowly worked his cock with her mouth was more than enough to keep her satisfied until then.

It also made her incredibly wet and ready, which was convenient when he climbed over her and bent her legs back, leaning forward and sinking into her in no time at all.

The sounds that came out of their mouths right then were exceedingly pornographic. It had been too long since their last sexual encounter, and even though they'd been at it plenty of times before, it still felt as intense and fresh as the first few times.

As aforementioned, they were obsessed.

Their song and dance of skink on skin never got old. Time and time again, it was like they'd never touched before, every feeling so intense it was like they were on the top of a rollercoaster that just kept falling and falling with no end in sight.

Every time he snapped his hips forward and and stretched her wide, her insides crumbled apart and gave way to his storm. She embraced his using of her body for pleasure, and he gave her the best orgasms in turn.

As of right now, she was caught between wanting to look down between their bodies to watch him fuck her and laying back to let it happen— take it all in that way and lose herself in the moment.

Though, she settled on the former, just as she always did, because watching Spencer fuck her was always the more exciting option. Especially when he was as urgent as he was now.

She watched with her bottom lip out in a pout as he fucked her, taking notice of how his hands looked gripping her waist and how his stomach tensed with every movement. Her eyes wandered over the planes of his body, and then finally his face. Usually he'd be so focused on the task at hand that his eyes would barely be open, taking in every ounce of pleasure that he possibly could, and that was exactly the case here. Fluttering eyes, pouty lips, flushed face, hair damp and wild as ever...

It drove her half mad.

"Harder," she demanded, reaching out and pulling him closer by the ass.

Spencer was more than happy to comply, a satisfied huff of laughter coming from him as he leaned down and sharpened his movements. His hips were heavier, pinning Y/N down into the mattress with every thrust forward, consequently drawing a little whimper from her each time.

To take it a step further and complete her request, he leaned back a little and pushed her legs open and wide, spreading her further and pinning her down that way to give his hips more driving force.

Unsurprisingly, neither of them lasted long after that.

Y/N shouted his name into the air, leaning her head back as her body tensed and gave in to his force. And he fucked her through it, his grunts gradually getting louder until his hips pushed into hers one final time, at which point he leaned down and put more of his weight on top of her.

As he filled her with his release, she sighed out, clenching herself around him and reveling in his warmth. Whether it was the warmth inside of her or the warmth he provided by blanketing her body with his own, she was glad for its presence. There was nothing else she'd rather have felt after a hard week at work—or any hard feat, really—than Spencer.

He retracted his warmth once they'd settled, however, removing himself from the bed on shaky limbs to grab wipes on the other side of the room.

And of course, Y/N admired him the whole way, flashing him a devilish wink when he inevitably caught her staring.

***

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[elytrafemme]

BRUH my school's usually fairly stable too but like then i got the email about The TikTok Trend Threat (?? still have no idea wtf to do or think about that hellaur) and then i remember that one of the girl's bathrooms has been off limits for over a week, The entrance is literally sealed off with caution tape and i have no fucking idea why. and nobody has done anything about it. my friend was one of the people who stole things in the devious lick trend, she stole a soap dispenser, the teachers have advised us not to drink out of the water fountains not because of covid but because It's literally contaminated with Who Knows What, im so. mare i just love public school like this is the thing i stress about every day. why am i still even doing my homework

HELP WHAT???????? BRUH WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY EMAILS JUST LIKE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE INTERCOM MESSAGES... the bathrooms have been a wreck i think that most of the boys bathrooms are still locked literally 0 idea abt the girls ive been fine for the most part?? but the caution tape... help What !

CONTAMINATED??? help what IS this.... why does shit always go wild like just before break help. HELP...

i should not be doing orgo studying under these condtiions for REAL

[shuahoonie]

everyday. [tom holland]

PAIRING:  college!tom holland x female!reader

SUMMARY: somebody call disney because you and tom met in the cheesiest way possible. karaoke was involved. so was high school musical. you could say it’s pretty meta. 

WARNINGS: swearing, i think? some alcohol. hella fluff yall. like sickly fluff. 

WORD COUNT: 2639

SONG INSPO: everyday (from disney’s high school musical 2) - troy & gabriella

A/N: hiya babes! get ready for a long ass note! first off, with everything that’s happening around the world, i hope that you guys are safe and you’re taking good care of your health!! i’m sorry if i’ve been away for quite a while, i’m really trying to be better at this. 

anyway, wrote this lil’ imagine for you guys since i can’t get this concept out of my head. i based it off on the tiktok that i saw and i just couldn’t help but write about it. i hope this piece provides a short distraction, something that we need from time to time. thanks and enjoy!

stay informed. stay safe. wash your hands, people! 

(also, the next chapter for the “you” series is still under works and i’m not entirely sure when that’ll be up. hopefully by the end of this week!!) 

gif credits: @loooo-lou  

vanessa’s masterlist  

“It’ll be fun, Y/N,” Your friend Kimmy said with a huge smile, dragging you to the student lounge located on the west side of the campus. 

"You’re just saying that because you’re part of the organizing committee,” You mumbled as you tried to hold on to your binder full of this week’s readings.

You were basically camping in the library the whole day as you tried to conquer the list of things that you had to do for the whole week. You were already knee-deep with your readings just for that research paper from one of your psych classes alone so what more from the other classes right?

It was already a rough couple of days for you and you definitely needed this as a break-whatever this is. Kimmy was basically doing you a favour.

“Okay, but you like High School Musical that’s why you had to go.” She pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I enjoy it,” You stressed, “To say that I like it would be an exaggeration.”

“Bitch, please” Kimmy snorted as you two found an empty booth at the lounge. “You can practically quote the whole trilogy and you can sing the songs like ABC’s.”

You just glared at her and made yourself comfortable, “This better be worth it, Kim. I am losing sleep because of my research paper and I can’t spend my spare time doing other things.”

“Honey,” Kimmy gasped as she put both her hands on top of your shoulders “Are you even hearing yourself? You know you can take a break, right?! No, actually you have to take a break.”

You sighed and just succumbed in defeat as your friend clasped her hands in excitement. “This is going to be great, Y/N.” She said in glee. “The org’s providing dinner tonight so you don’t have to worry about that. Also, we have karaoke set up and you can win at least a £50 gift card if you scored like a 90 and above.” 

“Wow, free dinner and a gift card?!"

“The org’s also serving alcohol if you really want to take an edge off,” Kimmy winked giving you a light nudge. 

“Now, there’s alcohol? Why didn’t you lead with that, you bitch!” You gasped, jokingly. 

Kimmy rolled her eyes, “Okay, I’ll get back to you later. I have to check with the others if the food’s ready.”

“Mkay,” You murmured as you pulled out your readings and took out your stack of sticky notes. “I mean, I think I can squeeze a bit of reading.” 

You tried to do a bit of your reading but with how they set up the lighting at the lounge, it was nearly impossible. They dimmed the lights and set up a few red lights in the corners of the lounge, the red popping out and setting the tone for the whole event. Fairy lights were put out as well, giving enough light to see the decorations that they did. 

It was High School Musical themed so you did expect a whole lot of red and white colours popping every now and then. Boy, you were definitely feeling the wildcat spirit. 

Knowing well enough that you weren’t going to accomplish any of your research work, you made the decision to scroll on your phone. After spending a good few minutes scrolling on Instagram, you’ve decided to take a quick video to post on your Instagram story. 

You posted the story with the caption saying: “high school musical karaoke night! @/kimmydelacruz thnx also u have to sing with me, i can’t possibly do it myself.” 

Kimmy was in the kitchen when a pair of arms snuck its way and were wrapped around her waist, “Hi babe, you okay?” 

“’m okay, love. Don’t worry,” Kimmy replied as she viewed her friend’s story, rolling her eyes in amusement. “Hey, Haz, did you manage to bring in more people?” 

“Uh, not a lot. Tom and a couple of mates from my kinesiology class are here though,” Harrison settled his chin on the crook of Kimmy’s neck. “What’cha watching, babe?” 

“Oh, it’s just Y/N’s story. She posted about our HSM-themed karaoke night and she wants me to sing with her, hoping that she can claim that gift card.” Kimmy replied as she continuously tapped on her phone, skipping a lot of stories from other people. 

Harrison hummed, “Babe, you know we can’t participate right?” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“You know, Tom really wants that gift card too, he wouldn’t stop saying how he would risk his reputation for that 50,” Harrison pointed out. “Tom’s gone mental, I’m telling ‘ya.”

Kimmy locked her phone and shoved it in the back pocket of her jeans. She turned to Harrison with a smirk playing on her face. “Haz, my love, has Tom ever met Y/N before?” 

Harrison took a good look at his girlfriend, he knows that devious smile anywhere. “Babe, what are you planning?” 

“You are the music in me,” A couple was on stage, trying their shot on the karaoke. The karaoke was now jumbling to flash the scores, the couple were both waiting in anticipation. 

“A bloody 81?” The girl yelled, appalled. She was trying to pull a serious face but a laugh was threatening to come out. “I have harnessed my vocal cords for this and all I got was a bloody 81?” 

The crowd couldn’t help but laugh at her comment. Their singing wasn’t bad, “maybe it was just the machine” as they said. 

“Why don’t you give it a go, mate?” Harrison nudged Tom, who was taking a sip of his beer. Harrison dropped by to check up on his mates when he found Tom, who was sitting at one of the booths along with a couple of mates from class. 

“Haz, mate, are you sure you want me to go up there?” Tom asked, laughing. “Might I remind you that you were the same person who practically begged me to not embarrass you in front of people.” 

“Yeah, ’m starting to regret even saying a mere word,” Harrison muttered to himself. “But I know you're not one to turn down karaoke, let alone have the opportunity to get £50 along innit,” Harrison said, placing a hand on Tom’s shoulder. 

“Alright, c’ mere, mate.” Harrison stood up and walked towards the karaoke machine. He punched a couple of numbers to a song and gave Tom the mic. 

“Mate, you are making a big mistake.” Tom chuckled, happily grabbing the mic. As soon as Tom saw the song that was playing on the screen, he quickly pressed the ‘pause’ button and grabbed Harrison’s arm before he left the stage “Mate, hold on, this is a duet.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Oh, so you know, do ‘ya?” Tom mocked. “Well, come on, mate. I am not going to sing this alone, ‘cause ‘ya know, a duet means two people.” Tom laughed, doing an impression of Sharpay’s infamous line. Tom loves binging the High School Musical movies and he isn’t afraid to say that. 

“Absolutely not, mate,”  Harrison stressed, making Tom raise his brow. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way, Tom, but there’s no way I’m singing tonight. Why did you think I volunteered to be part of the organizing committee?”

“Uh, because you couldn’t say no to Kim?” Tom countered. 

“That and I’m not allowed to participate. Mate, if you want to win the gift card, you would have to find someone else to sing up here with you,” Haz explained. 

Tom let out a sigh, “I guess you’re right.” 

“I’m always right,” Harrison pointed out jokingly. 

“Alright, but who am I-” Before Tom even got the chance to finish his sentence, Harrison quickly left the stage. He looked over at the table where his friends were and asked,  “Connor, mate, do you want to sing up here with me?” 

Connor shook his head insanely fast. “Absolutely not, Tom. Have you forgotten that I am tone-deaf? I do not want to embarrass myself in front of people.” 

Tom turned towards Brandon and he shook his head as well. “Mate, I only came here for the food and drinks, remember?” 

“Great,” Tom muttered. He looked around the crowd, trying to figure out if he even wants to even push through this at all. 

“You still doing okay, Y/N?” Harrison asked as soon as he approached you. You just saw Harrison walk off stage after he finished talking to some guy who was about to sing. 

You gave him a nod as soon as you took a sip of the hard lemonade that they were serving at the bar. “Shouldn’t be drinking, but I really wanted one so...” You trailed off as you raised your cup at him. You wanted a drink but not something that would give you a headache after.  

“Eh,” Harrison shrugged. “You deserve to relax from time to time. Heard from Kimmy that you’ve been stressing a lot on that research paper of yours.” 

“Thanks,” you muttered. Harrison quickly excused himself, saying that Kimmy was looking for him, which you just dismissed him anyway. 

You were scrolling on your phone when you heard someone clear their throat. “Sorry, but have you seen Harrison?” 

You looked up and made contact with a gorgeous pair of brown eyes. He was the same guy who was on the stage not too long ago. You recognized him from the photos that Harrison posts on his Instagram.

One drunken night, you were sitting next to Kimmy as she mindlessly scrolled through her boyfriend’s photos on Instagram. You both came across the photo of Harrison and his friends, sitting at a luxe sofa, assuming that they were at an event. Harrison was sitting next to his friend who was wearing a white button-up shirt, his legs sprawled. This was the same night you admitted to your best friend, that you found Harrison’s friend cute.  

Well, he looks cuter up close.

“Uh, yeah, he just left and said that he has to meet Kimmy. Think they’ll be back quick though, I practically begged Kimmy to sing with me on stage.” You explained.

He nodded understandingly. “You here for the 50 quid?” He asked, a small smile playing on his lips. 

You gave him a sheepish smile, “Yeah, I’m in university and am broke. I’d do anything for that 50.” 

“Oh, I hear ‘ya,” He laughed “However, I do remember Haz telling me that the organizers aren’t allowed to participate though.” 

“You’re kidding,” You said in disbelief. This was news to you as you were really looking forward to singing up there and getting that prize money. Well, you were looking forward to singing with someone to get that prize money.

“I’m afraid not, darling.” He chuckled. “Trust me, I asked Harrison to sing with me as well.”  

“Well, that’s a shame,” You muttered. Well, tonight could be worse. At least you had a free meal. 

“Hold on, what would you say if we both get up there and sing?” He asked with a bright look on his face. 

“Are you joking?” You asked, taken back with the idea that a stranger (sort of) is asking to sing with you. 

“Absolutely not,” He insisted “It’s not like we have anything to lose-”

“Besides my dignity” You claimed. 

“C’mon,” He laughed “If anything, we can only gain from this moment.” 

“Which is?” 

“That prize money,” He listed off using his fingers. “A night to remember,” He continued. 

You nodded after every point until he said, “Maybe romance?” He suggested cheekily. 

“Shut up,” You murmured shyly, feeling your cheeks burn. You took a minute before you grabbed your cup of hard lemonade and finished the rest of your drink. “Alright, loverboy, c’mon.” 

You stood up and followed the stranger to the karaoke machine. You couldn’t believe it, you’re actually singing with someone you don’t know. 

He handed you a spare mic before he pressed the ‘play’ button and not long after, you heard the intro to the song that brought you nostalgia. 

“Once in a lifetime, means there’s no second chance

So I believe that you and me, should grab it while we can,” He was looking at the screen to guide himself with the lyrics and started singing,  surprising you that he had a wonderful voice. 

He was becoming more and more attractive to you and you didn’t even know his name. 

“Make it last forever and never give it back,” You sang into the mic, reading off the screen as well. You know this song by heart so god knows why you’re all of a sudden reading off the screen.

This was a whole new experience for you. You usually do karaoke in a private room with a couple of very close friends, and this is the complete opposite: you were singing in public with a stranger. 

“Because this moment’s really all we have,” Your voices melded together smoothly, which shocked you if you were being honest. It’s as if you were both meant to sing together. 

“Every day of our lives,” He was now facing you, stepping a bit closer to you.

“Wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight,” You faced him and did the same thing as well, taking a step closer to him. 

“Gonna run,” 

“While we’re young and keep the faith,” 

“Every day,” He took another step closer. “From right now, Gonna use our voices and scream out loud.” 

“Take my hand,” You sang, holding out your hand. At this point, you were convinced that the spirit of Gabriella Montez has taken over your body. Y/N Y/L/N would never be this bold. 

He gladly took your hand, a smile was permanently painted on his face, “Together we will celebrate.” 

“Oh, every day.” 

The instrumental kicked in and you two were really feeling the music when he leaned over into your ear and said, “Never would’ve pegged you to know this song, darling.” 

You laughed softly and said, “I should be the one saying that.”

You two carried on singing, having an absolute blast. Never in a million years would you have imagined for this moment to happen, it felt too good to be true. 

“Every day,” You both sang the last line with your faces in close proximity. How did this happen? Maybe it was the alcohol? Maybe you two were just so into it that it felt right? No one knows. 

As you two were waiting for the karaoke machine to show your score, the guy leaned in and said, “Darling, I don’t think I even got your name.” 

“Y/N,” You said with a smile and offered your hand. 

“Y/N” He repeated with a warm smile, shaking your hand. “What a lovely name, darling, I’m Tom.” 

“It was a pleasure to sing with you, Tom.” You said, laughing softly.

Tom brought your hand up to his lips, “Oh, trust me, darling, the pleasure is all mine.” He disclosed placing a gentle kiss on the top of your hand, leaving your cheeks burning. 

Maybe you and Tom were so into the moment that you didn’t even realize that Harrison and Kimmy joined you on stage. “Alright, give it up for tonight’s real-life Troy and Gabriella!” Kimmy yelled to the crowd, in which they happily obliged and gave you and Tom a thunderous cheer.

“Okay, lovebirds, in case you didn’t notice-which I know you didn’t,” Harrison pointed out “You two scored a 91, so here are your gift cards.”  He handed you both a gift card each. 

“Use it well.” Kimmy teased, in which you rolled your eyes and nudged your best friend. 

“Well, I guess this is our start of something new, huh?” Tom whispered in your ear, a teasing smile playing on his face.

TAGLIST: (if u guys are interested hehe)

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland @stxfxniexreads​ @peruvian-bae​ @hollands-osterfield​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @galacticstxrdust​ @sweartomendes​ @itsjstz​ @muade-mua-de​ @hayoosh2

[daddymaks]

No Nut November GC

I saw this tiktok that made me think... what if our capri boys did this.

Setting the scene I think modern au Lazar and Orlant get drunk at a halloween party and this is where the group chat stems from. Orlant thinks that lazar can't go a whole month without sex because that's all that is on his mind 24/7

Obviously Lazar thinks different and more highly of his self control. He doesn’t immediately agree to the bet until Orlant ignores his protests, Ancel makes a smartass comment, and Laurent raises an eyebrow like “really you wanna go there?”

When they get back home piss drunk lazar is in bed mocking what everyone has said about him and making himself more angry and upset.

Before he knocks out he goes to snapchat and creates a group chat with Him, Orlant, Laurent, Damen, Nikandros, Ancel, Berenger, Kallias, and Erasmus and titles it NO NUT NOVEMBER.

the boys are too tired to even acknowledge it so they leave it alone to deal with in the morning

So everyone is awake and lively the next day lazar immediately sends a text along the lines of “GOOD MORNING BITCHES! seems like a good month to enjoy abstain from those sinful delights.”

Everyone immediately tells him to fuck off and why is this even a thing. (They really need to stop making new group chats for everything.)

Ancel is the first one to leave before anything is even explained. When Lazar adds him back he tells them it could be a good way to make some money. To which he replies that he doesn’t need money and he rather fuck when he wants without consequences.

Everyone Nikandros is a betting man but he also worries about his friends boundaries because this does not seem like a normal thing that friends share with one another.

Laurent is game since he is competitive and its not like he hasn’t abstain from sexual activities before.

Damen on the other hand hates this whole thing and is convincing Laurent that this is not fair to him because everyone knows he's the next weakest link.

Laurent says that if they do this then they can have a nice date night with the money they make off their friends. To which Damen mulls over since date nights are always fun but that's still a long time to wait. Eventually he shuts up though since Laurent made up his mind.

Berenger doesn’t talk at all in the gc other than to tell them that this is idiotic and invasion of privacy. Everyone ignores him though. 

He doesn’t last that long in there anyways though because Ancel and his constant devious attention

Kallias and Erasmus are confused at first but also game because it seems like fun. They know no sense of boundaries with one another so it doesn’t bother them. They also make it pretty far into november, except kallias breaks first and then Erasmus quickly follows.

The main contenders are Nikandros, Laurent, Lazar, and Orlant. Which they are all surprised about.

Nikandro is too work focused that he doesn’t have time to nut.

Laurent has been fighting off Damens art of seduction

Orlant is just not having it to piss off Lazar.

Lazar is slowly dying from being touch starved but he’ll be damned if his friends give him shit.

November is almost over and laurent ended up losing the pool when damen and him reconciled after spending some time apart due to work traveling. Orlant loses as well and Lazar hates him because it was after they decided to go to Maks Bar and he got a drunk hookup in the bathroom.

So it’s really up to Lazar and Nikandros. The GC only contains the two of them and Lazar constantly blows it up bothering Nik about questions about how he’s holding up. To which Nik just says he stays busy and doesn’t mind. 

Lazar is of course dramatic and describes how he feels like he's a man lost out in see craving the touch and sight of another person.

Nikandros can't stand the wallowing so he silents the gc. He doesn’t know how he can handle one more week of Lazar bothering him and describing his old sex adventures in too much detail. 

He ends up lying and throwing the bet because if he has to listen to Lazar describe another orgy he will strangle the man.

Lazar is relieved he won and celebrates by fucking two men later that night.

Nik tells Lazar the truth weeks later when Lazar brings up his victory once again over drinks with the guys.

I didn’t go into so much detail as I would like to but this was a quick thought I had that I wanted to share.

Follow me on twitter if you wanna see more hc/aus I have for the guys.

[unixcommerce]

CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers

  The CRM Playaz are not going to buy TikTok. Let me explain why.

Last week Microsoft made it known publicly that it was interested in acquiring a stake in TikTok, a wildly popular video sharing platform that has been in the news a lot lately.

But the Microsoft news seemed to set off a bunch of reports that other companies were also interested in, including Apple and Twitter.

In fact, so many TikTok acquisition stories started cropping up my CRM Playaz co-host Paul Greenberg and I started exploring whether we should put a bid together … OK I was just kidding on that one.

And yes, I didn’t need to say I was just kidding for you to know I was just kidding.

But with all the TikTok acquisition talk going on, the Wall Street Journal published a report this week that found TikTok “skirted a privacy safeguard in Google’s Android operating system to collect unique identifiers from millions of mobile devices”.

Given this news and the obvious repercussions it has for data privacy, what does this say about the dedication to customer experience if any company decides to buy TikTok knowing all of this?  It’s an internal conversation big companies are having.

With 800 million active daily users TikTok is creating a level of stickiness and engagement most companies crave, but are the black hat tactics with user data allegedly being performed worth the potential legal issues?  And more importantly is it worth losing the trust you’ve built up with your customer base?

Paul Greenberg Interview – TikTok Customer Data vs. Engagement Numbers

Paul and I took that up for the latest CRM Playaz ep, and all I can say is after talking about it we’ve decided to withdraw our non-offer to buy TikTok. But does that mean anybody else should?  Below is an edited transcript of our conversation. Click on the embedded SoundCloud player to hear the full conversation.

smallbiztrends · CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers

Brent Leary: Do you think Microsoft is still as interested in buying TikTok?

Paul Greenberg: Well, let’s say this, I think they are more cautious. I don’t think they’re dropping the idea because ultimately, there has to be some resolution of that. I don’t know what the tactic was that they used. I didn’t read the article. But look, ultimately, anytime there’s a potential legal issue of substance involved, which would potentially impact the operations of the potential acquisition, if I’m the company, I go on hold until that solved. And so, if I’m Microsoft, whether they are holding back or not at the moment, I would, and wait until… Again, I don’t know what the issue is, and I don’t know how easy it is to resolve. I haven’t a clue. But when you get that kind of public uh-oh, then you say uh-oh yourself and step back.

Brent Leary: It said that “the tactic, which experts in mobile-phone security said was concealed through an unusual added layer of encryption, appears to have violated Google policies. The identifiers collected by TikTok, called MAC addresses, are most commonly used for advertising purposes. The White House has said it was worried that user data could be obtained by the Chinese government and used to build detailed dossiers on individuals for black mail or espionage.”

Paul Greenberg: What? So-

Brent Leary: Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. No.

Paul Greenberg: Sure doesn’t. Sounds pretty seriously bad.

Brent Leary: So I don’t think I want to touch that at this point, but does Microsoft need to touch… Why would they… I [crosstalk 00:02:11]-

Paul Greenberg: Look, TikTok to me is still just a phenomenon. It’s not… there’s so many of those. The thing is, in the longterm, if it ends up like Instagram, yeah, then there may be a good reason to buy it, even though maybe out of their price range by that time. At this point to me, it’s a phenomenon that’s been really, really pushed forward by the pandemic. But it’s like the QBs and these short… what was that one that would disappear after a…? Snapchat, right?

Brent Leary: Oh right, after 12 seconds or something.

Paul Greenberg: Snapchat’s around, but it’s no longer a phenomenon because people are moving off to other things. And TikTok, at least for me at this moment, in its history, is like Snapchat early on, phenomenon that could go to absolutely nowhere potentially or settle into something less, or end up an Instagram. It’s just no telling where the thing is going and is no indicators. And nobody could convince me otherwise, that there’s some way of deciding its fate now.

So given that Microsoft would be pretty much required because of everything else, well, on the one hand, they may be required to pay an inflated price. On the other hand, they may be able to get it for almost nothing, if it’s going to actually be banned by the government, otherwise. So TikTok ownership might want to sell, not fire sale, but cheaper than they ordinarily would have. But does Microsoft need it? God, no.

Brent Leary: Yeah. I highlighted the exact action, it says Tik Tok, “skirted a privacy safeguard in Android’s operating systems to collect unique identifiers from millions of mobile devices, data that allows the app to track users online without allowing them to opt out.”

Paul Greenberg: Okay. Well, there you go. Okay, Microsoft, just forget it for now…

Brent Leary: You gotta think about this. And this is probably a conversation for another day. To me, if you, knowing all of this is going on and then still buying this, what does that say about your commitment to customer experience? Not just data privacy, the customer experience, because… This is for a longer discussion at some other point. Data privacy is becoming a much more important part of the customer experience. And when you buy something that is from a company that is doing stuff like this, what does that say to your commitment to customer experience by way of data privacy?

Paul Greenberg: Well ultimately, you’re dealing with issues of trust always. And how can you trust the company that’s willing to acquire somebody that’s violating your actual privacy and actually, ignoring your wishes too?

Brent Leary: Yeah.

Paul Greenberg: You’re probably not going to do well with something like that. And when it boils down to it, what TikTok does isn’t all that amazing either.

Brent Leary: This is not just, oh, we made a mistake. This is, oh, we got caught being devious about what we’re wanting to do with that data. That’s a whole other ball game for me.

Paul Greenberg: Yeah. I don’t know. Microsoft, forget it, okay? Do me a favor.

Brent Leary: Yes and we will do the same. We are going to remove our offer…

Paul Greenberg: Right.

Brent Leary: Immediately.

This article, “CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

The post CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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[unixcommerce]

CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers

  The CRM Playaz are not going to buy TikTok. Let me explain why.

Last week Microsoft made it known publicly that it was interested in acquiring a stake in TikTok, a wildly popular video sharing platform that has been in the news a lot lately.

But the Microsoft news seemed to set off a bunch of reports that other companies were also interested in, including Apple and Twitter.

In fact, so many TikTok acquisition stories started cropping up my CRM Playaz co-host Paul Greenberg and I started exploring whether we should put a bid together … OK I was just kidding on that one.

And yes, I didn’t need to say I was just kidding for you to know I was just kidding.

But with all the TikTok acquisition talk going on, the Wall Street Journal published a report this week that found TikTok “skirted a privacy safeguard in Google’s Android operating system to collect unique identifiers from millions of mobile devices”.

Given this news and the obvious repercussions it has for data privacy, what does this say about the dedication to customer experience if any company decides to buy TikTok knowing all of this?  It’s an internal conversation big companies are having.

With 800 million active daily users TikTok is creating a level of stickiness and engagement most companies crave, but are the black hat tactics with user data allegedly being performed worth the potential legal issues?  And more importantly is it worth losing the trust you’ve built up with your customer base?

Paul Greenberg Interview – TikTok Customer Data vs. Engagement Numbers

Paul and I took that up for the latest CRM Playaz ep, and all I can say is after talking about it we’ve decided to withdraw our non-offer to buy TikTok. But does that mean anybody else should?  Below is an edited transcript of our conversation. Click on the embedded SoundCloud player to hear the full conversation.

smallbiztrends · CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers

Brent Leary: Do you think Microsoft is still as interested in buying TikTok?

Paul Greenberg: Well, let’s say this, I think they are more cautious. I don’t think they’re dropping the idea because ultimately, there has to be some resolution of that. I don’t know what the tactic was that they used. I didn’t read the article. But look, ultimately, anytime there’s a potential legal issue of substance involved, which would potentially impact the operations of the potential acquisition, if I’m the company, I go on hold until that solved. And so, if I’m Microsoft, whether they are holding back or not at the moment, I would, and wait until… Again, I don’t know what the issue is, and I don’t know how easy it is to resolve. I haven’t a clue. But when you get that kind of public uh-oh, then you say uh-oh yourself and step back.

Brent Leary: It said that “the tactic, which experts in mobile-phone security said was concealed through an unusual added layer of encryption, appears to have violated Google policies. The identifiers collected by TikTok, called MAC addresses, are most commonly used for advertising purposes. The White House has said it was worried that user data could be obtained by the Chinese government and used to build detailed dossiers on individuals for black mail or espionage.”

Paul Greenberg: What? So-

Brent Leary: Yeah, that doesn’t sound good. No.

Paul Greenberg: Sure doesn’t. Sounds pretty seriously bad.

Brent Leary: So I don’t think I want to touch that at this point, but does Microsoft need to touch… Why would they… I [crosstalk 00:02:11]-

Paul Greenberg: Look, TikTok to me is still just a phenomenon. It’s not… there’s so many of those. The thing is, in the longterm, if it ends up like Instagram, yeah, then there may be a good reason to buy it, even though maybe out of their price range by that time. At this point to me, it’s a phenomenon that’s been really, really pushed forward by the pandemic. But it’s like the QBs and these short… what was that one that would disappear after a…? Snapchat, right?

Brent Leary: Oh right, after 12 seconds or something.

Paul Greenberg: Snapchat’s around, but it’s no longer a phenomenon because people are moving off to other things. And TikTok, at least for me at this moment, in its history, is like Snapchat early on, phenomenon that could go to absolutely nowhere potentially or settle into something less, or end up an Instagram. It’s just no telling where the thing is going and is no indicators. And nobody could convince me otherwise, that there’s some way of deciding its fate now.

So given that Microsoft would be pretty much required because of everything else, well, on the one hand, they may be required to pay an inflated price. On the other hand, they may be able to get it for almost nothing, if it’s going to actually be banned by the government, otherwise. So TikTok ownership might want to sell, not fire sale, but cheaper than they ordinarily would have. But does Microsoft need it? God, no.

Brent Leary: Yeah. I highlighted the exact action, it says Tik Tok, “skirted a privacy safeguard in Android’s operating systems to collect unique identifiers from millions of mobile devices, data that allows the app to track users online without allowing them to opt out.”

Paul Greenberg: Okay. Well, there you go. Okay, Microsoft, just forget it for now…

Brent Leary: You gotta think about this. And this is probably a conversation for another day. To me, if you, knowing all of this is going on and then still buying this, what does that say about your commitment to customer experience? Not just data privacy, the customer experience, because… This is for a longer discussion at some other point. Data privacy is becoming a much more important part of the customer experience. And when you buy something that is from a company that is doing stuff like this, what does that say to your commitment to customer experience by way of data privacy?

Paul Greenberg: Well ultimately, you’re dealing with issues of trust always. And how can you trust the company that’s willing to acquire somebody that’s violating your actual privacy and actually, ignoring your wishes too?

Brent Leary: Yeah.

Paul Greenberg: You’re probably not going to do well with something like that. And when it boils down to it, what TikTok does isn’t all that amazing either.

Brent Leary: This is not just, oh, we made a mistake. This is, oh, we got caught being devious about what we’re wanting to do with that data. That’s a whole other ball game for me.

Paul Greenberg: Yeah. I don’t know. Microsoft, forget it, okay? Do me a favor.

Brent Leary: Yes and we will do the same. We are going to remove our offer…

Paul Greenberg: Right.

Brent Leary: Immediately.

This article, “CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers” was first published on Small Business Trends

https://smallbiztrends.com/

The post CRM Playaz on TikTok: Respect for Customer Data Trumps Huge Engagement Numbers appeared first on Unix Commerce.

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