#Thursday more song memorizing and dance practice | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hazinhoodies · 5 years ago

Text

No Use For Moonlight (T.H)

A/N: sorry for putting so many images of tom singing and him playing jack in newsies in your head, have fun with it I guess.

Warnings: tom singing, sorry

Word count: 5.8k

You sat on the floor of the black box theatre, typing away on your English assignment, as Harrison works with his partner for whatever skit he had to do. While Tom had originally been pacing the same corner of the room as he reads over the skipt for upcoming school musical auditions, he had dropped the script with a dramatic sigh and now danced around to whatever was playing through his earbuds. You look up from your computer for the first time in a while. Harrison is talking to his partner while pointing at the chair and table in the corner of the room. You can’t hear what they’re saying, only Ricky Montgomery in your ears as you bob your head along to the song through your earbuds. You look over to Tom and watch as he rounds turn after turn, you stopped counting after the fourth pirouette but he kept going for a couple more seconds before stopping, chest heaving slightly. You watch as he starts to lift up the bottom of his shirt but look back to your screen knowing that he's going to wipe his forehead with it, you don't want to get caught staring when you shouldn’t be. You're just friends, except when you're not.

Your relationship with Holland was… confusing.

Yeah sure, you guys were friends. But then every few weeks, you two couldn’t stand each other. Those times usually lasted about a week.

One whole week. A whole week of Tom being rude. A whole week of your passive aggressive remarks towards him. A whole week of Tom being a cocky asshole. A whole week of you complaining to anyone who would listen.

If Harrison could turn off or shut either of you up for that week he would. He was stuck in the middle of it all. Every time.

But Harrison was a good friend. He was always there for you. Whether it was to tell you that you wrote down the wrong answer accidentally, or to warn you about Tom possibly being in a mood one day, he told you. You assume he did something similar for Tom. Help him memorize lines maybe? You weren’t sure. The drama and music departments didn’t cross over that much aside from the kids involved in both departments, like Harrison.

Harrison introduced you and Tom. You were twelve and it was Harrison's birthday. He’d invited you and Tom, as well as a few others. Harrison and another girl, Laura, were the only two you knew. You’d recognized Tom but only from seeing him in the halls so much, you’d never actually talked to him before.

What no one expected was for you and Tom to have gotten so close, in the short three hours, the two of you became inseparable. You still cared plenty for the other, if you hear something bad come from someone else's mouth about him then you told Tom. Not usually right as you heard it but it eventually came out.

Tom says something from next to you as he rummages through his bag for his water bottle. You barely hear it, only enough to pause your music and pull out your earbud and give Tom a look asking him to repeat himself, he does as he moves his bag over to sit next to you, popping up the straw of his water bottle. “How’s the essay comin’ along?”

You shrug, “One can only write about the metaphorical use of colour in the Great Gatsby for so long” You and Tom both let out a short laugh.

“When’s that due again?” Tom asks sheepishly before taking a sip from his water bottle, as if to cover up his words.

“Thursday”

“Right, right, okay. Cool cool cool cool cool” There’s a brief pause between you two where Tom continues to nod and stare at the carpeted floor.

“You haven’t started have you?”

“Nope not at all.”

“Tom!”

“Hey! I’ve been busy with auditions!” Tom defends himself as you finally remove the other earbud figuring that he’s not leaving soon. “Speaking of auditions, you auditioning?”

You rummage through your bag and drop a thick spiral bound score on his lap. “I got this music over a week ago. Didn’t have to audition”

“I meant for Katherine” Tom starts to flip through through the book looking at all the music and the cues, pausing over parts that you’ve circled, “But this is good too”

“God no, I’m no actor.” You finish typing up the end of your last paragraph, quickly fixing any spelling mistakes and then shut your laptop, leaning back against the wall behind you and crossing your arms over your chest.

“But you can sing, and actings easy if you’ve got a great partner, which you would if you were Katherine” Tom continues to flip through the score, he admires how clean your writing is on some notes and how some are merely scribbled circles that he deciphered to Count.

“Getting real cocky there Holland” You warn with a small smirk on your face.

“I got nothin’ if I ain’t got this role” Tom says in a Manhattan accent, there’s no attempt made to hide the grin on his face. “I’ll be happy with whatever I get, it’d just be great to play Jack, I could do it I think”

You know he could. You have absolutely no doubt about it. You take back the score and put it back in your bag as Harrison starts to pack up his bag as well. “You two ready to go?” He asks as he slings his back pack over his shoulder.

“Yeah let’s go” You say as you start to stand up, pulling your bag over your back as well.

“Hey, can we watch Toy Story when we get to Haz’s?” Tom asks as he follows both of you out of the black box.

“We watched that last time!” You and Harrison both exclaim.

“Jeez, that’s a no then?”

Auditions were the following Friday, you sat anxiously outside of the auditorium waiting for Harrison and Tom to finish their auditions. You tried to pass the time by doing some work but you couldn’t focus on it so your theory workbook sat open on your lap while you scrolled through Instagram. Harrison had his audition before Tom did, you didn’t expect either of them to do poorly but you still felt relief wash over you when Haz walked towards you with a pleasant grin and even more when he told you it went great. You pulled him into a quick tight hug and voiced your joy before the two of you sat back down, light conversation flowing between you while you wait for Tom.

Half an hour later, Tom comes out of the auditorium and you and Harrison both stand up, almost falling over as you do. Tom has never been easy to read, especially after auditions. He’s definitely not smiling but you may see a bit of excitement and joy etched somewhere in his expression. You can’t really be sure, even after all these years of knowing him. He looks up at you and Harrison who look at him expectantly and Tom has the audacity to wave and say, “Hey guys”

“So?” You ask, nearly shouting. Tom stops about a foot short of you and Harrison before answering.

“My voice cracked but other than that it went really well” A smile finally break on his lips but you miss it as you wrap your arms around his neck and his around your waist with a small ‘oof’ followed by a chuckle

“I’m so proud of you” You say, muffled by his shoulder. You feel his hand run up and down your back and you squeeze tighter for a moment to return the sentiment.

“Thanks.” It’s quiet and under his breath and you hardly even heard it but it was there.

A week later casting had been released and sure enough, Tom had seized the role of Jack. And he was perfect for it. He had the charisma, the passion and the stage presence to put on a good show. He was a good singer, sure but definitely needed a bit more training to get the power needed, that’d come along eventually though, and Tom was never one to shy away from a challenge.

You got to see none of the progress of the show and Tom refused to tell you any of it, he wanted to save it so that you could experience it for yourself. The band joins the rehearsals during tech week, prior to that they get about four rehearsals together. That’s it. Four rehearsals, then joining the cast for three more, then shows start. There’s more shows than there are rehearsals and it’s extremely stressful but you’ve had the music for nearly three months already and band rehearsals haven’t even started yet. You’re set, you continue to work on it on your own, partially to make sure that you know the music an partially because it’s fun to play.

You’re sitting in a practice room during lunch one day, four instruments set up in the small room with you as you go over the part for King Of New York again. A knock on the practice room door makes you stop and listen for a moment, unsure if you actually heard it or not. The second knock comes a second later and you open the door to see Tom on the other side, a sheepish smile on his face as he holds up the script to Newsies. You wanted to shut the door in his face, you really did. Not that he had done anything wrong but it was just one of those weeks where you were so unbelievably irritated with him for seemingly no reason.

“Go away I’m working” You say, not moving from the door but keeping it open.

“Doing what?” Tom asks.

“Practicing! For your show, might I add.” You say as you roll your eyes, slumping back down in your and leaning back. Tom picks up the flute that occupies the other chair in the room and hands it to you as he hesitantly sits down and closes the door while you put the flute on its stand.

“We both know that you know your part inside out, upside down and backwards Y/N. Besides, I need help with lines and Harrison isn’t here” He pleads.

“You know, somewhere out there, someone cares. Go tell them!” Maybe a bit of a dick line but you don’t feel bad for it right now, you'll apologize when you aren’t unbelievably annoyed with him. God, it bothers you that the hate weeks, as you’ve titled them, don’t line up this time. You hate that you’re mad at him and he’s not mad at you and truth be told that just makes you mad at yourself more than anything.

“Please, it’s just one scene and then I’ll be out of your hair until you don’t hate me anymore”

“Fine. What scene is it?” You take the script from his hands and flip to the green sticky note he points to. “Start at ‘three boys to a bed’ please” You pause for a moment and look for the line before starting. You may not be a drama major but you know to at least try and get in character, if you read this absolutely monotonous then Tom might as well have asked the wall to help him. So with as much Katherine Pulitzer energy you can muster, you read out the lines from the script.

“Is this really what it’s like in there? Three boys to a bed, rats everywhere and vermin…”

“What, a little different from where you were raised?” Tom replies in his Manhattan accent, teeth clenched. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a little shocked by how quickly he slipped into character. You look up at him before saying thee next line, only to be met with the same angry and restrained aggression you heard in his voice mimicked in his expression.

“Snyder told my father that you were arrested for stealing food and clothing. This is why, isn’t it? You stole to feed those boys.” You look up at him again, already mostly knowing the scene from how many time you’d seen the show on your own, the script there as a crutch if you need it. You gather as much sympathy and understanding as you can in your tone, a stark contrast to his before you switch to confusion, your voice louder than before. “I don’t understand if you were willing to go to jail for those boys, how could you turn your back on them now!?”

“Oh I do not think you are one to talk about turnin’ on folks!” Tom stands up from his chairs and you do the same as you start your line.

“I never turned on you or anyone else”

“Oh no you didn’t you just double-crossed us to your father. Your father!” He’s shouting now, fully in character at this point.

“My father has eyes on every corner in this city!” You’re shouting too, thankful that the practice rooms are mostly sound proof. “He doesn’t need me spying for him. And I never lied. I didn’t tell you everything.” You finish as your voice comes back down to a reasonable volume.

Tom lets out an angry sigh somewhere between a sign and a grunt, teeth still clenched. “If you weren’t a girl you would be tryna talk with a fist in your mouth” Tom turns away slightly and leans against the wall, staring at a ceiling tile.

“I told you that I worked for the Sun, and I did. I told you my professional name is Plumber and it is. You never asked for my real one.”

Tom turns around rapidly, “I wouldn’t think I had to! Unless I knew i was dealing with a backstabber!” He takes another step towards you.

You scoff “Oh and if I was a boy you’d be looking at me through one swollen eye” You step forward as well and hold your fist up like you know Katherine does in the scene. Tom doesn’t say anything though. He doesn't follow up with the next line. You watch as his expression slips out of anger, his eyes soften. He breathes in as if to follow up with the line but his breath gets caught in his throat.

You feel his hand brush against your waist hesitantly a few times, as if he can’t decide if he should go through with it or not before you finally feel the warmth of his skin through your shirt. The room is silent. Only the sound of light even breathing between the two of you for five seconds. Five egregiously long seconds. His other hand grabs your wrist and moves your fist from under his chin until your palm is flat against his shoulder. You and Tom are pretty much chest to chest at this point, both anxiously waiting for the other to move or to make a sound. You realize that you’re not angry at him right now, all the annoyance you had with him had dissipated in this moment.

Tom moves first, leaning in. Both of you close your eyes and his lips falter against your own before a chapped and hesitant kiss followed by a slightly more confident one that you return. There's a pause between the two of you after you both pull away, a couple seconds where you let what just happened really sink in while trying to process it.

“Are you okay?” Tom asks, his accent is some weird mix of New York and his normal one.

“Yeah yeah. I’m okay.” You stumble over your words a bit. “I should probably get back to practicing though. King of New York is actually tough”

“Yeah for sure. I’ll let you get back to it.” Tom opens the door and leaves. He wishes he said another thing. Thanks maybe? You did help him with his lines. Or maybe sorry? He’s not really sure, so he just walks back to the black box, mentally cursing himself.

Tom wouldn’t sing any of the songs for you. Correction, any of his songs for you. Even though you were dying to hear the progress on Santa Fe, he refused, he wanted you to hear it when it was nearly finished, if he could hold off on it until the first show he would. Meanwhile Harrison would sing any song any chance he got, even if Davey wasn’t in them he still would.

“C’mon Tom you’re gonna have to sing it for me at some point” You slump against the locker next to his, your clarinet case hitting your knees as you do so.

“Yeah. Tech week” Tom teases with a smirk, “I already told you, you have to wait. Last time you heard me sing it was like five months ago, you’ll be blown away by the difference, trust me”

“Ugh. You are so annoying” Tom only shrugs and you roll your eyes and turn to Harrison who hadn’t even reached the two of you yet. “Haz make him sing for me”

“Can’t do that darling, he’s persistent” Harrison puts a hand on your shoulder when you sigh, miffed.

“What if I start playing the opening. Then what?”

“You’ll be vamping forever Y/n you don’t want to do that”

“Harrison hold this please.” Harrison holds his hands up as you put the clarinet case in his hands and put the instrument together as quickly as you can.

“Y/n you’re so dramatic.” You don’t respond, you just play the intro to Santa Fe, which is only two repeated notes. Tom cocks his head and looks at you as if to say really? “Why are you like this? If I sing you’ll stop?” You nod and Tom sighs, finally giving in.

“Folks we finally got a headline, ‘Newsies crushed as Bulls attack!’ Crutchies calling me, dumb crips just too damn slow” You continue to play even after he stopped singing. “That’s all you get, you said if I sang, you’d stop, and I sang.”

You roll your eyes again and pack up your instrument, thanking Harrison for holding the case when you take it from his hands. Tom closes his locker and the three of you head your separate ways for class

Tech week had arrived. The start of the most stressful week of the year for anyone involved with the musical. You were sitting in the pit warming up your third of five instruments along with the other musicians while the actors did their vocal warm ups onstage. Your spot in the pit allowed you to see onstage if you looked far enough to your left but only for parts that you weren’t playing in. You definitely wouldn’t be able to see your music and the conductor and the play at the same time. The amount of instruments and stands you have around you has to be some sort of safety hazard but that’s what happens when you have to play five instruments on one part. You’re looking over one part in Seize The Day when a trumpet plays next to your ear, spooking you enough to stop playing. Your friend Laura, being the source, sits in the spot behind you.

“That’s not where you sit” You joke as she leans forwards, elbows on her knees.

“Yeah but I haven’t seen you in a while and I missed you.” She shakes her head at you like it’s obvious.

“Hey! It’s not my fault you went to Aruba for a week”

“Yeah but before that it’s Tom and Harrison’s fault for stealing you from me all the time” Laura laughs.

“They tend to do that apparently”

“Are you and Tom anything yet?” She asks blatantly.

“No. Why would we be anything?” You ask her back and she deadpans at you.

“You’re kidding right? You kissed in practice room.”

“Would you keep it down? He kissed me and it meant nothing”

“You kissed back and went red as a cherry when you told me”

“And still wish I hadn’t”

“You seen Cindy recently?” She asks. Cindy was playing Katherine and seemed to be having difficulty separating her character from herself, meaning that she is absolutely obsessed with Tom currently and thinks he’s just as enamoured with her.

“Hard not to. Anytime I look up she’s practically hanging off Tom. It’s like if she’s not within his sight, she’ll suffocate.” You roll your eyes. Cindy is nice. Kinda. Most of the time. But she just annoys you. More than anyone else like her has annoyed you. You hate how she treats people that she doesn’t like like they’re scum. She’s a classic Regina George type. Except you think that her getting hit by a bus wouldn’t solve any of her issues with her, maybe it’d make her voice less pitchy and annoying though.

“We can only hope” Laura says, making both of you laugh as she gets up and goes back to her seat.

About an hour and a half into the rehearsal you finally got to hear Tom sing Santa Fe and it gave your whole body chills. He’d found the power and hit the dynamic and emotion he needed, you might’ve started crying if you were watching the show. Tom and Harrison’s dynamic as Jack and Davey made you laugh, even while playing. You loved watching them together, even if you weren’t watching them you could still hear it and picture it in your head, you’ve known the boys long enough that you could probably guess what expressions they wore.

You couldn’t ignore the feeling that hit you a few different times during the show though. The unsettling, sickly, make-you-want-to-curl-up-in-a-ball feeling hit you more than once during the show but was definitely the worst during Something To Believe In. It makes you stiffen and for the first time in years your fingers fumble over the notes you’re supposed to be playing and you don’t have nearly as much air support as you need. The short version is that you sound bad. You’re messing up a part that is super exposed, it’s the only interesting thing happening behind the vocals and now it’s missing and if the gut feeling you already had was bad enough now your cheeks have gone bright red and the embarrassment has set in. Laura looks at you from across the pit, wordlessly asking you what’s wrong. You can only shrug while trying to redeem your note. Your part comes to its end and the conductor gives you that look. The one that tells you to work on it, you can only nod.

You run through it again right at the start of the break and it comes out perfectly.

“What happened?” Laura asks as you put the flute back on its stand.

“No clue. I’m getting water though.” You stand up, grabbing your water bottle as you do and precariously step around the plethora of instruments around you, Laura following. “It was so weird. This feeling in my stomach just kept growing more and more, to the point where I almost couldn’t breath. It happened a couple other times but that one was definitely the worst”

“When else did it happen?” Laura leans against the wall next to the fountain as you fill up your water bottle.

“Uh Jacks interview with Katherine, right before the ‘am I scared, ask me tomorrow’ line-”

“When Jack is being super suggestive”

“Yeah there. And the ‘the only thing I’m following is a story’ bit.” You shrug and take a few sips from your water bottle before filling up what you just drank and closing it, only to see Laura with a knowing grin on her face. “Oh no. What’s that look for.”

“You’re jealous.” Laura declares with a wiggle of her brow

“I am not jealous!” You guys start talking over each other.

“You totally are jealous!”

“Am not! What would I even have to be jealous of?”

“Cindy!”

“I don’t want anything that Cindy Dunn has”

“You want Tom”

“I don’t want Tom!” You nearly shout the last line. “Besides we would be horrible together. We get at each others throats too much. The amount of times I’ve called him an ass to his face and even more to Harrison? We’d be doomed” You and Laura start to walk back into the auditorium.

“Oh no. Y/n is yearning. We can’t let anyone know!” Laura jokes and you can only roll your eyes in response. “If you guys just figured out how to talk over things then you would be really great together. I can see it!”

“Laura, that's a huge ‘if’. We’ve been like this since we met. It’ll take a lot of time and energy that I’m not going to put in unless he does as well and he doesn’t like me like that so why would he?”

“I see how much you hate arguing with him” Laura starts to walk back towards the stage and thee pit, lowering her voice as you guys get within earshot of the people on stage, mainly Tom and Harrison. “I’m sure he hates it just as much”

“Who hates what now?” Tom comes to a bouncing stop next to the two of you, rolling up to the balls of his feet and then back down- the poor boy could never stop moving really.

“Uhm. My brother. He hates our- our dads um stew. Yup. Stew” Laura says with a semi confident nod tacked onto the end of the sentence which was anything but confident. “I’m gonna go over there now” Without another beat, Laura turns and goes back to her spot in the pit.

Tom decides to not ask any questions about what just happened, all three of you know that that didn’t work and Laura’s face is still bright red as she sits down.

“So did ya hear Santa Fe?” Tom asks

“No I must’ve missed that part” You respond with absolutely no hesitation on your part and a mostly straight face.

“You’re annoying. Tell me what you think.” Tom starts to poke at your arm, pulling a smile from you.

“Why do you wanna know?”

“Because I value your opinion. Duh” You roll your eyes, ignoring the small flip in your stomach. The look Tom gives you causes tons more of those same flips. Brown eyes wide, and caring, and hopeful, and endless. You think you could stare in them for forever and never get bored.

“I know what you wanna hear. Yes I got chills” Toms face breaks into a wide smile. “And Seize The Day made me tear up a little”

“‘Some day becomes somehow’” Tom asks, quoting the line he thinks caused you to tear up. You nod. “You always cry at that part”

“I can’t help it! It’s pretty! Stop bullying me, go bother Harrison instead”

“Whatever you say Y/n” Tom chuckles, poking your arm once again as he hops back up onto the stage.

From what you knew, Tom and Cindy only actually kissed on the last tech rehearsal, but it was easy to ignore it. As long as you didn’t look, you would be fine. You could manage that, right? Yeah. You could avoid looking and then your stomach wouldn’t tighten and your head wouldn’t spin.

The first show had gone swimmingly so far, the crowd was good, you were doing great, and you hadn’t let the thoughts of Tom and Cindy infest your mind yet. Anytime you felt they were getting too strong, you’d look over to Laura and she’d do something stupid when she noticed you looking, making you smile and ease your mind a little bit. What you hadn’t anticipated was the crowd's reaction during the shows. You knew the kiss was coming up, you knew the dialogue leading up to it and you and Laura wordlessly chatted throughout most of it, neither of you having to play. But then there was that split moment of silence, no dialogue, nothing, then the crowd cheering. Your breath hitched in your throat so abruptly that you had to let out a small cough, hoping that the audience wouldn’t notice.

It got easier, for the most part. You had created mental cues for when you should focus more on your music and how you sound, hopefully letting the kiss and the audiences reaction fall to the back of your mind while you were playing. It didn’t really hit you that the shows were over until you were playing the bows and exit music for the last time. The uproar of applause towards the end when you knew Tom and Harrison walked out always brought a smile to your face. You were so proud of them, truthfully. They were your best friends.

That night most of the cast and band gathered in Harrison’s living room to celebrate the end of the shows. You were all sitting in a circle playing paranoia and carrying on casual conversation when someone used Tom as their answer for one. It hadn’t occurred to you until then that he wasn’t in the circle.

“I’ll go find him” Cindy starts to stand up from her place on the floor, almost losing her balance as she does so. The person next to her reaches a hand out to try and stablazie her.

“Cindy it’s okay, I’ve got it” You stand up from your spot on the couch, between Harrison and Laura who shuffle closer together to take up the space you had just emptied. As you leave the circle, you miss the glare that Cindy sends you but Laura sends her a dirtier one back.

You already had a hunch about where Tom would be. You, him and Harrison would often find your way there when you were bored or you needed a break from the world. You push open the slightly ajar door to Harrisons room and look out the window. Sure enough Tom is there, sitting on the roof, all alone. You quietly push the door shut and head towards the window as well.

“Whatcha doin out here all alone?” You say as you climb out the window into the brisk night air.

Tom turns to look at you upon hearing your voice as you settle in the spot next to him. He shrugs. “Just wanted to be alone for a bit, away from everyone.”

“Do you want me to go then or can we be alone together?” Tom lets out an airy laugh.

“You can stay” You beam at him and he smiles back, handing you part of the blanket that was around his shoulders so that now you’re both protected from the chill.

Tom’s arm is warm against yours, you find yourself leaning into heat that he provides, your head slowly falling onto his shoulder. You stay like that for a while, overlooking Harrison’s backyard and watching the moon and stars in silence.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Tom pipes up, making you raise your head off his shoulder so that you can look at him, brows furrowed together.

“Where did this come from?” Tom’s eyes break away from yours and back to the stars.

“I don't know. I’m just curious”

“I’m not sure. I’d like to think it’s real, but I haven’t experienced it to know if it is.” You can’t ignore the way you feel Tom’s torso slump slightly at your response. “Do you?”

Tom only nods and then the two of you fall silent again, eventually laying back on the rooftop.

“I got no use for moonlight” Tom starts to sing quietly, as if just for you. “Or sappy poetry. Love at first sights for suckers”

“At least it used to be” You sing with him. Tom hums the next to lines on his own before singing the third.

“But I never planned on no one, like you” You fall silent again, peaceful smiles. Tom takes in a quick breath, you hear it and feel it, but he doesn't say anything immediately after. It takes a moment before words come out “I really like you Y/n. I have since I met you. Since we were twelve”

You don’t know how to respond at first. You run through a billion different things to say in your head and none of them seem to fit the way you want them to. When you realize how Tom must be feeling you start to panic a little more. Finally and answer slips out. “Sucker”

“It used to be for suckers!” Tom defends himself with laugh. “Gonna tell me if you feel the same? Or that you at least hate arguing with me?”

“You heard my entire conversation with Laura didn’t you?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Oh you mean the one where her brother hates her dad’s cooking? Yeah she’s not very quiet and is horrible at lying. It is so bad” Both of you can’t contain the bright laughs that ring out into the open air.

“So what if I do like you back? Then what?” You mumble.

Tom sits up slightly looking over at you. “So just to clarify you do like me”

“I didn’t say if I did or didn’t i just asked you what would happen if I did” You and Tom nearly talk over each other, wide smiles still plastered on your faces.

“Well I’m gonna need an answer that way I can show you what would happen”

“Well I do” You admit.

“You do?” Tom asks and you barely even start nodding before his lips are on you, soft and sweet like they were in the practice room, but this time you’re smiling into the kiss and it tastes like remnants of his throat coat tea and his post performance gatorade that he always had. His hand finds its way to your cheek and yours to the back of his neck, you ignore the uncomfortable cramp in your neck from the awkward position you’re in. Soon enough but also way sooner than you would’ve liked, Tom pulls away.

“You snuck up on me Tom.” You say, catching him slightly off guard. “It was really weird, because I loved being your friend and then suddenly when we were sixteen it just wasn’t enough anymore”

“Well, I’ll take you on a proper date next week to make up for lost time, yeah?” Tom takes your hand in his as he lies back down and rests it on his stomach.

“I’m up for whatever you got in store. Though we're gonna need to work on that arguing issue” You settle in with your head on Tom’s chest

“We will, for now lets just enjoy my pent house in the sky” Tom flips back on the Manhatten accent.

“You mean Harrisons rooftop?” You question.

“My penthouse. In the sky”

“Whatever you say loser”

tags:

@hjosterfield @softholand @dahliaspidey @thequeensardine @counting-eyerolls @osterfieldholland01 @happymagicbee @artemisiaarm @moonlitswims @headsup-itsmostlypeter @bitchymathematician @melsbooktrash @ixchel-9275 @tommyhollandaisesauce @spideyyypeter @starlightfound @honeyyhuggs @nedthegay @ohyouremymedicine @awkwardfangirl2014 @badhollandfluff @soccerstud004 @nokiaholland @itseightbeats @miraculousmckenzie @worldoftom @thenoddingbunny-blog @thegirlwiththeimpala @the-crazy-fanfictionist @tomzfrog @unbelievableholland @keithseabrook27 @yo-sugg

add yourself ot my taglist here

#tom holland #Tom Holland x reader #Tom Holland x you #Tom Holland x yn #Tom Holland fluff #whoops sorry I didn't proofread much

116 notes · View notes

cristalconnors · 5 years ago

Text

BEST SONGS of 2019

20. “MOTIVATION”- Normani

“Why would we ever do something instead of falling into the bed right now?”

Watching the 2019 VMAs, it was easy to feel despondent about the current state of mainstream pop. And then Normani descended from a basketball hoop, breaking up a string of lifeless performances of cookie-cutter top 40 with a preposterously physical tour de force that harkened back to an era when pop fame felt like something closer to a meritocracy, when talent mattered more than spectacle. It felt like a major arrival: at last another pop goddess that truly had all the goods. The public may not have caught up to her quite yet, but “Motivation” is a statement of purpose for Normani: I’m here, I’m very fucking talented, and I’m not going anywhere.

19. “SO HOT YOU’RE HURTING MY FEELINGS”- Caroline Polachek

“I cry on the dancefloor, it’s so embarrassing”

The charms of “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings” are seemingly endless. First, there’s that title that makes you chuckle the first few times you hear it. Then, there’s the pre-chorus that title is effortlessly plugged into: a crystal clear image of lovelorn insecurity placed atop a sublimely simple melody that builds into a harmonious, show-stopping chorus. But the song’s zenith has got to be that bridge, marrying a mind-bending, distorted vocal solo that more closely resembles electric guitar with the singsongy refrain “show me your banana,” effortlessly striking a balance between the highbrow and the silly, casting Polachek as the carefree pop diva she perhaps always should have been.

18.“WAY TO THE SHOW”- Solange

“Candy paint down to the floor”

“I want it to bang and make your trunk rattle.” I think about that quote a lot when listening to “Way to the Show,” the grooviest track on When I Get Home- the one whose meandering funk bass line and countless key changes build to an explosion of synth runs and gun cocking, showcasing Knowles’s growth as both a songwriter and curator of mood as she crafts a singularly hallucinatory, heavenly vision of Houston and the sounds that raised her.

17. “WONDER BOY”- ARTHUR RUSSELL

“I’m a wonder boy. I can do nothing”

The back catalogue of notorious perfectionist and genreless chameleon Arthur Russell is so vast, so varied that even 27 years after he was taken from us, we’re still being treated to new material. Every single song of his that’s been released posthumously, including all 19 tracks of Iowa Dream, feel like their own revelation, each of them a uniquely dazzling bucking of all your expectations of what a song of his should sound like. “Wonder Boy” is unique in how tidily its melancholy, frosty images of impermanence sum up the tragic story of Arthur Russell the man- the brilliant artist who never found success and only ever managed to put out a single album while he was alive- the wonder boy who could do nothing.

16. “I THINK OF SATURDAY”- Moodymann

“I called you on Thursday... I called you on Friday...”

“I Think of Saturday” starts simply enough, listing the days of the week almost as a gimmick, evoking soul and early rock filtered through a house lens, until halfway through the song when the beat drops away, introducing a brief sample of Joe Simon’s “With You in Mind” that’s followed by the reintroduction of the beat, but now accompanied by a recurring distorted, dissonant chord that reframes the song as a sinisterly rousing account of unrequited desire and delusion that refracts itself over and over again.

15. “SOFIA”- Clairo

“I think we could do it if we tried”

The opening bars of Clairo’s “Sofia” sound like a really good Strokes knock off, but the song quickly reveals itself to be something vastly more interesting, unfolding itself steadily over the course of three minutes as she and producer Rostam Batmanglij subvert well worn pop tropes to craft an exquisitely textured, soul-baring, and ultimately hopeful anthem for young wlw everywhere.

14. “LARK”- Angel Olsen

“What about my dreams?”

Olsen’s widescreen, abstract vision of a break-up song is thrillingly unbound from the constrictions of song structure and narrative, favoring instead the visceral power of strings and drastic dynamic contrast to craft a symphony in miniature, a “journey through grief” as Olsen herself describes it, that announces the bold, panoramic vision of her fourth album.

13. “WALK AWAY”- (Sandy) Alex G

“Someday I’m gonna walk away from you. Not today...”

“Walk Away” evokes the sense of being trapped, stuck in a cycle of recognizing unhealthy relationships or habits and being unable or unwilling to do anything about them, looping the simple two line refrain over and over and over again to weave a hopeless, woozy tapestry of crunching beats, acoustic and electric guitar, mournful piano and harpsichord, and distorted vocals.

12. “THIS COUNTRY MAKES IT HARD TO FUCK” (BJÖRK REMIX)- Fever Ray

“That’s not how to love me!”

Björk isolates the most memorable line from Fever Ray’s “This Country”- “this country makes it hard to fuck!”-and explodes it, distorting it and stretching it across a fearsome sample of the droning, discordant flutes from “Song of the Alféreces and Dances of the Chinos,” evoking a kind of tortured funhouse mirror image of the current state of reproductive rights that rightly recasts Fever Ray’s song as a horror film.

11. “ABOUT WORK THE DANCEFLOOR”- Georgia

“I was just thinking about work the danefloor...”

“About Work the Dancefloor” is Georgia’s ode to the cathartic, restorative powers of the dancefloor, where your worries fall away as you melt into the crowd and language abstracts itself, as evidenced by that perplexing chorus that doesn’t seem to mean anything- and why should it? When you’re lost in her pounding bass and gurgling synths, that incoherence is strangely comforting. You can cast whatever meaning you want onto it and work through it physically, together.

10. “GONE”- Charli XCX & Christine and the Queens

“I try real hard, but I’m caught up by my insecurities”

The jelly squiggles that criss-cross Charli XCX and her collaborator’s faces on the artwork released for the singles from her latest album Charli suggest a kind of symbiosis, a cosmic intertwining of sorts. But only “Gone” achieves a true melding of the minds, where Charli and Chris’s best and boldest instincts collide, complimenting one another seamlessly in this dizzying vision of insecurity and isolation that unravels into a stunning pop abstraction.

09. “CELLOPHANE”- FKA twigs

“Why don’t I do it for you?”

Usually for FKA twigs, more is more. Her songs are busy, even the slower ones, packed to the brim with glitches, unusual rhythms, and a million little details that pull attention, giving them texture and making them extremely immersive listening experiences. “Cellophane” pares those idiosyncrasies back. They’re still there, but the focus is twigs’s voice, which bends and cracks and really emotes in a way we’ve never heard. Her voice is naked and unvarnished, allowing her to be truly vulnerable in a way we’ve never heard either, and it’s heartbreaking.

08. “CINNAMON GIRL”- Lana Del Rey

“If you hold me without hurting me, you’ll be the first who ever did.”

“Cinnamon Girl” is the culmination of every other ballad she’s ever written. They were practice and this is the real deal- a painterly missive on tumultuous love that reads like a pained confession whispered in confidence, something Lana’s always done well, but her composition has never been so exquisite or immersive, so beautifully in concert with her poetry or her velvet voice, or so flawlessly constructed, effortlessly building toward a show-stopping finale that asserts Lana as the postmodern princess of Americana.

07. “COOKIE BUTTER”- Kim Gordon

“Industrial...metal...supplies...”

“Cookie Butter” has got to be the most stunning showcase of the power of Kim Gordon’s voice, as she drags out some vowels, muffles others, attacks consonants and bends words until they don’t sound like words anymore, all atop a trance inducing beat drives towards the song’s unlikely climax- Kim Gordon saying “cookie butter” in the most impossibly distinct way you could imagine that carries the weight of an EDM drop, leading the track into it’s disorienting second half that both clarifies and obscures the half that came before it. Haunting and addictive.

06. “CATTAILS”- Big Thief

“You don’t need to know why when you cry.”

To hear Big Thief talk about the process of writing and recording “Cattails” on their episode of the Song Exploder podcast, one is struck by how organic it was. Adrianne Lenker describes it as a “magic wind” that swept through the studio, the song kind of falling out of them in one take. That sense of life comes through in the song, the simple, sublime repetition, bounce, and build of it sounding like a transmission from deep within the soul, a cosmic image of nostalgia and grief that is as cathartic as it is heavenly.

05. “GOD CONTROL”- Madonna

“I think I understand why people get a gun.”

“God Control” is ostensibly about gun control, though you’d be forgiven if you had a hard time discerning what exactly she’s trying to say. Like some of her best work, it’s provocative and maybe a little empty, but damn if it isn’t supremely interesting and compelling as hell. Madonna taps into a sense of apocalyptic malaise and skepticism of authority that feels at times remarkably in tune with the public consciousness, at others a grotesque caricature of it, to uniformly fascinating results as she spins a deranged disco yarn that, once those swirling strings hit, is downright euphoric.

04. “GOLD TEETH”- Blood Orange, ft. Gangsta Boo, Project Pat, & Tinashe

“We gon’ rumble in this ho!”

Blood Orange takes Project Pat’s “Rinky Dink II/We’re Gonna Rumble” and explodes it, gifting it both playful levity and added depth with a rollicking beat minor chord synths respectively, effortlessly criss crossing Hynes’s many disparate strengths and interests in the most effortlessly rousing and joyful track in his entire ouevre, elevated by the powerhouse Three 6 Mafia reunion verses of Gangsta Boo and Project Pat himself.

03. “INCAPABLE”- Róisín Murphy

“I don’t know if I can love, in all honesty.”

“Incapable,” Róisín Murphy’s virtuosic disco epic, stops time. That indelibly simple bass line loops over and over and over again until you’re lost in it, the song slowly building itself on top of it, adding claps here, hi hat there, rising towards a stunning sequence backed by whooshing synths where the song really comes alive, where an almost boastful breakup anthem morphs into a glamorously melancholy self-indictment in which she ponders that maybe it’s her there’s something wrong with, creating a dazzling dichotomy between the pitfalls of introspection and the bliss of the dancefloor.

02. “MOVIES”- Weyes Blood

“The meaning of life doesn’t seem to shine like that screen.”

“Movies,” appropriately, plays out with a big screen gloss. Those arpeggiated synths feel like they’re slowly expanding as Natalie Mering coos atop them, wondering how if movies are fake, how come they’re more real than anything in real life? As the synths suddenly give way to frenzied strings, the song splits itself open, giving itself over wholly to the melodrama, the sweeping enormity of feeling that Mering so masterfully conjures as she longs for the vitality, the simple answers, and the meaningfulness of movies.

01. “DO YOU LOVE HER NOW”- Jai Paul

“There’s a time for everything.”

On June 1, 2019, when I first read the news that Jai Paul had released new music, news so momentous it was accompanied by a red “breaking news” banner on Pitchfork’s home page, I immediately found my headphones and sequestered myself. I knew whatever I was about to listen to would require my undivided attention. Quite frankly, I was shocked it existed at all. After the notorious, devastating leak of his music in 2013, he’d exiled himself so thoroughly that it was easy to believe he was just gone forever. But here it was, the second coming- two (2!) new songs, effectively doubling the amount of (completed) material he’s released in an official capacity.

Pressing play, I was a little nervous that it wouldn’t live up to my expectations, that it might somehow diminish the work of his that I’d loved so much, that changed the way I think about pop and R&B. That didn’t end up being a problem. While “He” is excellent, “Do You Love Her Now” is maybe the most stunning piece of music he’s ever written. Billowing, moseying guitars provide the heartbeat for what starts as a straightforward, sublimely simple send up of 60′s and 70′s R&B. But this Jai Paul we’re talking about, and nothing he does is simple. Nuances and complexities creep out organically from the fabric of the song- synths whiz in and out, harmonies soar to the forefront of the soundscape seemingly out of nowhere and fall away just as suddenly, crafting an immersive, richly textured listening experience that is unpredictable, washing over you like a wave, building, cresting, and crashing over and over again.

130 notes · View notes

stattic-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Snake Dance

https://statticscribbles.tumblr.com/post/639099629845233664/masterlist

Support My Writing?

#sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea x you #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea #jordan connor #jordan connor imagine #riverdale #riverdale cw #riverdale imagine #riverdale fandom #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale reader insert #riverdale request #written #female reader #female reader insert

116 notes · View notes

starstruck-thirst · 5 years ago

Text

She Wants Revenge

Part 4

Pariston Hill: True Romance

Series title is after the band of the same name. The chapter is named after this song by the band She Wants Revenge.

Part 1 of series is here.

Warnings: PTSD flashbacks, attempt rape of reader character, date rape drug description of reader character, non consensual sexual touching of reader character, NSFW, mental manipulation

______________________

Phones, keyboards, clicking pens, the smell of coffee and whatever crazy dish a gourmet hunter had brought to work that day. It was all so familiar, but in the way of a distant memory. The feeling was akin to that sensation one got when a specific cinnamon, peppermint, and paper smell-cocktail hit their nose and suddenly they find themselves transported back to when they were five on a holiday morning that had almost been completely forgotten until that moment. Something so close to you and yet no longer apart of who you are now.

The association office was exactly like that.

Normally the office was kept at a temperature that most people could tolerate including you, but for your first week back you had to bring a light sweater with you every day to hide the goosebumps that were almost a permanent installment on your flesh. Your nerves were on high alert, screaming in the back of your mind that this area was DANGER. But no matter how loudly your body rebelled, you pushed past it and hit the copy button on the machine again and again.

Somehow you had been assigned as an office assistant upon applying. They hadn’t even interviewed you, merely emailed the offer. And somehow you were placed on the floor Pariston frequented. Not the floor his office was on, but the floor below where he had to make constant visits to oversee many different projects. It was this very floor where you had met him for the first time.

As you picked up the papers from the out tray the hairs on the back of your neck raised noticeably and the realization about how in the presence of the literal Phantom Troupe you hadn’t been as on edge as you were in a fucking office almost made you laugh.

But you knew why. All too well you knew why.

Pariston hadn’t made his presence known to you yet.

You had been here an entire week and never even spotted so much as a cufflink of the vice-chairman. It was unnatural.

The signs of his presence were around. You came back from getting yourself coffee and someone asked you to make copies of a form that Pariston had just signed and dropped off. Another time you could still smell his cologne in the conference room you had to set up for the next meeting. His chuckle flowed down the hallway to your ears, but by the time you arrived he was gone.

He was doing this all on purpose. Playing with you indirectly and keeping you on your toes. You hated that it was working, hated more that you had to let it be a little visible. The appearance of being both ‘healthy’ and ‘slightly broken’ at the same time was exhausting. The light sweater was a dead giveaway to the man that you were uncomfortable. And the second week you left it at home, telling coworkers that you had adjusted to the climate-controlled environment again.

To make matters worse, there was no one readily around to play with. Chrollo had left shortly after the deal was stuck and Hisoka left a day later, leaving behind half teasing promises of more playtime in the future. You weren’t stupid- anymore- and you were fully aware that you might never seen Hisoka again. But, you had been surprised before.

Sadly, this meant that when you got home, life returning to you and the lust that had built throughout the day at the hints of Pariston finally blooming into a full need, you didn’t have a way to fix it. Playing with anyone that didn’t have a guarantee of silence meant that it could get back to Pariston. And there was no way in hell you were going to jeopardize your revenge just to get off.

But you thought about it.

Sitting at a bar not far from your apartment, you thought about it. A hunter you recognized sat at a table nearby laughing loudly with two associates. He was tall and broad, unlike your recent conquests in almost every way. Perhaps that was part of the appeal. The thought of turning this loud, cocksure, strong man onto his back and making him beg you made you a little excited immediately. And even though you reminded yourself it would be a bad idea the little fantasy grew on its own as you watched him move, and soon you were so enamored that you had forgotten you were looking at him until he noticed you and winked.

You turned back to face your drink on the bar, taking in a fresh swallow of the cold liquid to calm the heat inside of you. Shifting on the stool you could feel that familiar sensation of need between your legs. A tingling, tight feeling. It was uncomfortable.

A strong arm slithered over your shoulder with careful precision. Fingertips brushing softly as the palm dug in hard enough to force the weight of a promise into your muscles. After a week and a half in the association office, this sleazy move didn't make even one bump rise on your skin. "Hey, sexy. I saw you eyeing me across the room. What are you drinking?"

You tried to lean away, but his arm over your shoulder held you still. A nice upper cut into his nose would have freed you, he didn't seem to consider you a threat so it'd be easy to do. But remembering your situation you held off. Maybe it would get back to the vice-president. And you still needed as much illusion of a soft spoken female hunter as you could get.

But it was unbearably difficult in this moment.

Visibly you swallowed and looked up at the man through your lashes. "I didn't mean to. I just… zoned out. It was a long day."

He smiled and leaned his hip into your side. Truly your lust was the cause of this punishment. "Now, now. None of that. It’s Thirsty Thursday after all!" He lifted two fingers at the bartender and pointed to the two of you. The bartender nodded and got to work on your next drink. You kept an eye on the drink in progress- unsure of this bartender’s alignment in this silent struggle- until the man leaned onto the bar and obscured your view.

Fuck.

"Haven't I seen you around before?" He asked.

"Maybe… I mean I work in the city," you muttered before drinking your original drink to completion.

"Oh really? Where?"

Leave it to a beef headed hunter to not recognize another hunter. Or he was playing stupid for some reason. “Well… where do you work?”

He laughed, “I work everywhere! I’m a hunter.” He said in that voice tone that suggested you should be impressed. Which only confirmed that he had no idea that you too were a hunter. With a practiced movement he took out his hunter ID and flashed it in front of your face, literally. He sure was a rude man. He hadn’t even noticed you dodging his question since it gave him an opportunity to show off. “See? Not everyone can get one of these,” he boasted. You memorized his ID number to look up later and see if he just got lucky that year.

All kinds passed the exam though, you supposed.

You did.

“Impressive,” you said pushing your glass away and trying to stand, “I should go. I have work tomorrow.”

“What? But your drink is here,” he pointed out as the fresh glass as it was placed on the bar, the old whisked away in a flash.

The condensation on the glass gathered in large droplets that collected onto the bar top, pooling to create an inviting highlight of water around the base. You didn’t trust this glass. While you were shopping at the same grocery store and getting coffee at the same cafe, this was a new bar. The security blanket of knowing a bartender wasn’t something you had just yet. “Really… I shouldn’t. So no thank you,” you muttered, dodging out from under his arm successfully.

But he had been prepared for this maneuver and with two quick steps he was in front of you with his glass in one hand and the one intended for you in the other. “Come on. The night is still young!” His determination was evident, and no matter how you tried to dodge him it was obvious he was going to follow you like a sick puppy. “I’m just being nice!”

Those words made you silently rage as other people in the bar looked at the two of you. He was intentionally making it seem as if you were the rude one for ignoring him. It was causing a scene, which was exactly what you hadn’t wanted.

Maybe just a sip wouldn’t hurt, depending on what was in it. Maybe you could power through it.

These of course are foolish thoughts. But as you took the drink in hand he cheered to you, and you brought the glass to his automatically. His grin seemed too wide, unnaturally so, as you brought the glass to your lips. The bright whites of his teeth made you pause as he drank and suddenly you felt like gravity had shifted. No longer was it pulling you down, as was normal, but it felt as if you were being pulled sideways.

The drink hadn’t even made it to your lips yet. What had he done? Had he spiked your first one while you were paying attention to the bartender? You had taken this muscle-head too lightly.

But even as these thoughts flashed in a blurry haze across your mind you realized more liquid was pouring into your mouth. As if on an autopilot your arm had moved and now you were drinking what could quite possibly be a second spiked drink.

Everything happened so fast, but also slowly. The man asked you something, and you felt like you understood it because you nodded and he laughed. Though your glass wasn’t empty yet he took it from you and placed it upon the bar with more care than you felt like you could have acted with in this moment.

A blink and his arm was around you, helping you to dance to the song that was too quiet to hear from the bar speakers. Hadn’t it been loud enough to mask the conversations that were only ten feet from you before?

Heavily you leaned into his chest, feet moving now that gravity had somewhat righted itself again. Everything about this felt so wrong, but you couldn’t dredge up the motivation to do anything about it.

A hand gripped the sides of your head and your gaze was lifted up and his mouth smashed against yours. The kiss was sloppy and not at all enjoyable, but your limbs didn’t feel like they belonged to you as they rested on his shoulders completely useless. Groggily you remembered the feeling of Hisoka’s hungry lips against yours and you sighed in want, which the man took as a sign of your enjoyment and kissed you again.

A blink and the sounds of the city surrounded you. The wind was moving just enough that you could feel its touch on your face as you looked around, trying to recognize where you were. But it was impossible. The lights were a blurry mess, a painting in the museum where you had seen Pariston.

Pariston.

Fingers dug into your side as you started to lift to one side and you only then realized the man was walking next to you, arm wrapped around your waist to support you and keep you moving. His face shifted to the smiling Pariston and adrenaline pounded through you. “No,” you said firmly, although a bit mushy, pushing against his side to free yourself. Unlike the bar you were using your strength now. Focusing your nen into your hands as you shoved.

For just a moment you were free and stumbled into a nearby mailbox, gripping both sides of the object for stability as you shook your head. You tried to imagine sand on a beach, running hands over it to clear away the writing and make a clean slate, but nothing changed. Your head still felt swimming and the colors of the city both too bright and too dim at the same time. It was as if you were surrounded by suns of every color, but their brilliance couldn’t penetrate the encroaching darkness. Nothing came into focus no matter how hard you tried.

A blink as your ass slid over a stone wall, exposed thighs scraping painfully against the amalgamation of minerals. The man’s nails bit into your legs as he pressed himself against you. “static you’re so static just listen static Don’t worry. I’ll treat you right. static” Listening to him talk was like trying to tune into a radio station you were too far away from. But the meaning of the words was clear. Behave, or I’ll hurt you.

“No!” you screamed it this time, the word was clear and rang in the air as you pushed with all of your strength.

A blink and your head fell backwards, gravity reversing again. You were falling backwards in darkness, the smell of city streets blurring into the smell of water.

The deep black reminded you of Chrollo’s eyes as they watched you. Unreadable and full of secrets that you wanted to push your fingers into and dig around for treasure.

You had felt so powerful as those eyes watched your every move, waiting.

It felt like you fell for several minutes, and when you stopped a soft bed cupped you gently.

At last you were beginning to feel more grounded. The world didn’t seem to be changing as fast as it had been. The feeling in your head was more akin to being drunk now. Everything was somewhat blurry, but understandable, and you felt cold. Were your clothes sticking to you with dampness?

An unconscious groan rumbled out of your chest. With harsh persistence your clit was being worked causing little waves of pleasure to wash over you as your head rolled on the pillow underneath it. Things still didn’t make sense you realized. Things were still wrong.

With effort you managed to lift your head to look down the length of your body. Your clothes were a mess, ripped open with a crazed haste, and the man was between your legs. A scream was working up your throat as you watched him stroke himself as he also worked you, trying to get you wet enough.

A guttural scream of rage ripped through the room causing the man to jump. Finally able to move with more direct grace you sat up and brought your fist against his face.

You felt the flesh against your knuckles, a sense of success flashed through your mind, but in the next moment you were on your back again. Each breath was labored, and it took time to settle in that his hand was around your throat. You tried to focus but couldn’t. His face. Pariston’s face. His face. Pariston’s face.

A tear fell down your cheek, letting itself be known to your brain only because of the feeling of warmth that was quickly followed by cold that was so telling of tears. “Paris-ton,” you muttered, like a prayer in a dying man’s throat.

You squeezed your eyes closed.

“Pariston,” you said again. Feeling the revenge you were working so hard for slipping from your fingers. You could almost see it. Gold strands of hope sliding over your palm and into the darkness once more.

“I have you,” a warm, strong voice said in the dark.

The smell of lilac and musk. So familiar. A scent that made you feel at ease, even as part of your mind screamed. But you were too tired to hear it scream. Too tired to listen to that voice. You just wanted to be comforted and live in that bright feeling the smell brought. Silken sheets, eggshell walls, and white marble showers. So warm and inviting.

Your eyes opened.

The room was familiar and yet completely new. The walls were not eggshell, but basic rental creme, and the smell of lilac and musk was faint and quickly fading.

It was your apartment. You were home.

As realization hit you like a literal brick, your hands scrambled over your body. Did you still have your phone? Were you tied up or shackled to the bed? Where you wearing clothes?

No, no, and somewhat. While your outfit from the previous night was gone, you were wearing underwear. Slipping a hand into them you felt yourself, unsure what exactly would tell you what you feared to know. But there was no normal soreness that happened after sex. You sighed, relaxing your shoulders into your bed for a moment while you took in a slow breath.

The front door clicked closed in the next room and you jumped from the bed, ready to fight someone off if you had to. And unlike in the bar, you were fully prepared to use all of your powers. No fucking around this time.

But, no other noises came from the small apartment other than the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Dead air hung with a physical weight while you patiently waited for something to happen. Unwilling to wait for danger to find you first, slowly and quietly you made way to the door to look into the half kitchen half living room beyond the frame and saw no movement. There was no one by the front door either. Your heart wasn’t convinced though, it was working so hard in your chest it physically hurt.

You pushed your hand into your hair, trying to steady your mind with a physical touch as you looked around the room for any sign of what had happened. After a second glance you saw it.

Sitting on the kitchen island was a note.

It didn’t have any nen radiating from it but still you approached with caution until the neat writing was completely readable.

“I suggest you be more careful from here on out. I won’t always be able to save you.

-Pariston”

He had been here. In your home. He knew where you lived.

You expected he would know where you lived, but having it disclosed to you in this manner made your blood turn to ice in your veins and you snatched the note from the cold countertop. It took everything inside of you not to rip it to shreds, burn it in the kitchen sink, flush the ash down the toilet. But you wanted control. Control over your reactions, especially now.

The corner rumpled in your harsh grip as your hand shook with rage and fear. Why? Why had you let this happen? You could have used your nen on that man. At least enough to save you. Enough so that Pariston wouldn’t have had the chance to save you.

But wait. How? How could Pariston have ‘saved’ you? It was all a blur and becoming even more so as the seconds ticked by, but you vividly remembered another bedroom. The very real moment of that man stroking you and preparing to take you.

How would Pariston have known… unless he had organized it?

In disgust you dropped the note, cupping your face in your hands. He had made a move. You knew he would. You had been sloppy. So confident that you had already rigged the chess board for the game to start, that you didn’t notice him move a pawn into place.

Feeling nauseous you turned back to find the note, deciding to rip it up after all, but stopped seeing another message on the back.

“Keep my gift”

The memory of your shredded clothes around you as you lay upon the strangers bed flashed in your head as you rushed to the full length mirror you kept in your bedroom.

The silver surface in sight you rushed to it, putting hands against the wall on either side as your chest heaved. Through the mess of hair that had flown into your face you could clearly see the white undergarment set. White straps hugging your hips and crossing at the sides in a delicate pattern. A matching bra with a ribbon connecting each strap to form a choker at the throat. It was wrapped so gently around your neck you hadn’t even noticed it at first, but now staring at yourself you felt oddly… collared.

It was very Pariston.

It was very much a statement.

~*~*~

If waking up to Pariston's gift wasn't enough, you also had to work that same day, luckily it was Friday. How did you used to have an office job five- sometimes six- days a week? Even when there was hunter work to be done, it was boring and exhausting.

Only two weeks had passed and you still had two more before Chrollo said he'd be available to assist with your plan. Now was the time to keep moving pawns while your big pieces were in standby, but some part of you had lost motivation. Pariston's bold statement was a hard to swallow pill that you kept choking on.

Somewhat literally.

Even though it was maddening in several ways, you wore the lingerie set to work. It required you to wear a light weight turtle neck top, without sleeves as you had ditched the sweater, to hide the soft choker ribbon. When you stood the ribbon pulled against the back of your neck. In your head it felt heavier than you knew it was since the standard bra straps took most of the weight of your breasts.

But you knew.

You knew Pariston's ego would be in need of a nice stroking today. After all, he had saved you. He'd want gratitude.

Throughout the entire day you waited, uncertain when but your faith in the perceived event never wavering.

And finally around 3 in the afternoon it happened.

As was fifty percent or more of your job, you were at the copy machine. While you had been on alert all day this was naturally the one time it slipped a little and the slight jump and tensing of your shoulders when you sensed Pariston behind you was genuine.

"I'm glad you made it to work," he said in a low, pleased tone. It didn't go over your head that he was alluding to your previous "sickness" as well as what had happened last night, but you knew it best not to bring that up.

Not yet.

You shuffled your feet, pushing the copy button as you stared intently at the digital screen. "I don't know what you mean," you said it plainly, but the air of embarrassment in your voice was painfully evident.

The door to the copy room closed with a soft snap and you concentrated on every muscle to keep from shaking. Against your will you could feel yourself getting wet already. Even after a year you couldn’t stop a deep part of you from reacting to him, even though you were trying so damn hard.

Carefully you looked over one shoulder to see Pariston at last. For the first time in his territory.

His hair was still brushing his shoulders in a golden shine, today's suit was white with silver pinstripes, undershirt a light blue to make the silver pop, and his tie was a complimentary creme. An outfit that on any other person would be gaudy, or somewhat tasteless, but as always it looked completely natural on him.

He looked… perfect.

He smiled, seeing your eyes peeking back at him.

You could feel your heart clench in your chest and you couldn't breathe.

"How are you feeling?"

"Just fine," you lied, thinking to yourself that you'd never tell him otherwise. With a purposeful snap of attention you looked back to the copy machine and lifted the lid to take the original out and replace it with the next page. "Thank you."

There was a pause. Pariston had expected something else. Maybe for you to wobble and fall to your knees and praise him like a worshiper that wanted just a single drop of holy water to keep death at bay for one more day. And whatever Gods did exist knew, that thought had crossed your mind for a solid second. Or maybe he had been looking for more hesitation, signs of the struggle that existed inside of you even as you imagined punching him in the gut.

But you hadn't given him that. You had offered… nothing.

Pariston wasn't one to quit. One long step brought him to your back and his presence was inescapable. You tried to ignore it as you pushed the button for the millionth time, but his hands cupping your shoulders and rubbing them made you gasp.

Other intimate touches you had been ready for, but not something so tame. His long fingers worked into your muscles and slowly your shoulders sank. Without meaning to your eyes had closed, a small groan escaped.

Fuck.

He snickered. "Seems I still know you."

You sucked in a breath through your teeth. There were too many meanings in that simple sentence. But only one of the possibilities bothered you: did he know of your plan?

Pariston's left hand held your shoulder as his right moved from the other side to your neck and you froze in place. The tips of his fingers ran over your throat before dipping down into soft fabric of your blouse. A throaty, dark chuckle came from behind you as his fingers found the "collar" to the bra he had gifted you. "I know you," he reaffirmed.

Your own fingers dug into the sides of the copy machine as you half prayed for strength. 'Adraste, please don't let me crumble here!'

"I knew you'd wear my gift. Do you like it?” As if petting a well behaving cat, he ran his fingers around the collar.

The action made you shiver and that horrible feeling of being unbearably turned on was only growing. But you tried to keep it in check. You cycled through the memories of pain to ground you. Thinking about crying in the shower, the feelings of being used, how you had collapsed at the gallery. “I admit, it is a nice piece,” you said with a level tone of confidence laced with a sexual energy. Your left hand met his at your neck. “You’ll have to tell me what you think if you ever get to see me in it.” With the touch you gave him a taste of your desires, the ones you wanted to crush into dust but served a purpose for the moment. ‘Touch me. Kiss me. Fuck me. Need me,’ you told him with that touch and his fingers tensed around your throat the slightest amount.

For a second time Pariston was caught off guard. You were rarely this forward before, and when you had managed it there had still been a noticeable thread of nervousness. There wasn’t a sign of it now, and he didn’t seem to know how to react to that.

“Thank you for the gift,” you continued since he had chosen silence. With the words you moved your hips just enough to brush against him as the machine stopped and you gathered your copies, his hand falling from your neck.

Purposefully, you didn’t look at him while you did this, but after you had gathered all your items you looked at him with a pleasant smile for just the briefest of moments as you made to leave. He looked almost angry. Almost, because he was still hiding it under a mask. A mask constructed of ego and poise. He smiled and suddenly you felt sick. “You’re welcome,” he said with restrained heat.

He stepped back graciously, opening up your path out of the copy room. You didn’t look directly at him again, but from the corner of your eye you could see him keep up the smile as you walked by. Unfortunately, you had no idea what kind of face he made once you left him behind in the room to stew. You would have given almost anything to know what he was thinking. To know if he was seething with rage.

But you couldn’t know yet.

~*~*~

When you started at the association, you were still fresh from the exam. The job was yours already, but they wanted every person that worked in the building to have at least attempted to gain a hunter’s license. “If you are going to work here, you have to know what kind of people you are working for.” That was the reasoning you had been given. Passing had been hell. The kind of hell you were hoping to leave behind by having a nice office job.

The easiest way to advance- even in the office side of things- was to be a hunter. You hadn’t expected to pass though, and now a world of opportunity was open before you. If you trained up no job could be out of your reach.

Or so you thought until Pariston Hill had targeted you.

You were merely running an errand to the upper floor, but that single small task on a long to-do list put you on a crash course that would completely devour your life.

“Fresh from the hunter exam huh?” He had known you wouldn’t be able to defend yourself yet. “Welcome to the office. You’re a rare gem, you know that? Most people that work on your floor didn’t pass the test.” The knowledge that you could learn nen and be manipulated into using it for him and his dealings if you were groomed correctly was his strongest weapon. “I’m Pariston Hill, the vice president. I look forward to working with you.”

In a week you were moved to the floor below his office.

His smile, the warmth of his hand, the buzz of the new office.

It all meshed into a strange child’s version of a collage. Pieces of what perceived life would be like as an adult pasted onto poster board with too much glue. The pictures bubbling in places even as they moved at different speeds.

A picture of Pariston giving you the water test. Seeing the leaf spin in circles had excited you so much that in the moment Pariston’s calculating face as he watched your joy hadn’t even registered.

A picture of working incredibly late.

Another picture of drinking with office friends. So many picture memories crammed into one space it was hard to make sense of it all.

However, one picture seemed brighter than the others.

Towards the center left was a slow moving picture of Pariston kissing you for the first time. It was the magazine picture of first kisses. A dark park, the city lights blinking through the trees as they rustled in a slight breeze while he cupped your face and leaned in. Your heart beat so heavily in your chest that it made you feel sick. For the first time you had understood the phrase of ‘butterflies in your stomach’.

A chime rang in the distance and some latent part of you realized it wasn’t how that night had gone. There had been no noise like that on the slightly chilly night of your date.

Your eyes opened and blinked several times, the strange dream of memories falling back into your subconscious as the wheels in your mind slowly turned to comprehend reality again.

Why were dreams always so damn weird?

Your phone blinked a blue light next to you letting you know that the chime that had interrupted your dreams was a new message. Luckily the device had made it home with you from your horrible night out, probably thanks to Pariston somehow.

A tiny flame of hope sparked inside of you at the idea it could be Hisoka or -to a less realistic possibility- Chrollo. With a half awake haste you snatched the phone and fumbled a few times before successfully unlocking it to reveal the message:

[I request that you join me for dinner. Around 7:30pm?]

The number wasn’t programmed into your phone. But it stank of Pariston’s way of speaking. It had to be him.

[I accept. Where should I meet you?] Typing out the reply had taken nearly ten minutes of backspacing and groaning, but it was acceptable you determined.

[No need to worry about that. I’ll pick you up. I look forward to seeing you tonight.]

You left it on read for several minutes before replying: [As do I.]

[Oh and

Please do remember my gift.]

~*~*~

A little under a year ago you stood in front of your hallway mirror, touching up your lipstick as you waited for Pariston to take you on your first date. It was the same image you had seen the first night with Hisoka. And now, history repeated itself as you turned your head in several directions to view your lips, being sure that not a smudge of the carefully applied color was out of line.

You weren’t stupid. The knowledge of the mirroring events burned in your heart, eating away any other emotion you could possibly be feeling in the moment as you corrected a collection of hairs back into place behind your ear. “This is part of the plan,” you said in a sigh. It was, and wasn’t. Both a lie, and the truth.

Pariston’s attention was required, but even with your careful planning and observations you couldn’t predict everything he would do. But some things…

Somethings you could.

The strap around your neck rubbed noticeably as you straightened your posture. ‘I know you’ he had said. But you knew him too.

Your phone buzzed in your clutch and you knew without looking it would be Pariston. With a glance back over your shoulder you took the small collection of hairs back out from where you had tucked it, creating the appearance of having missed it.

It would drive him insane.

Pariston stood outside of the slick black car, holding the door open for you while sporting his iconic warm, broad smile. If you hadn’t been staring directly into his eyes as you approached, a painfully pleased smile plastered onto your own face, you would have missed the fraction of a second that the corner of his lip fell. He had no doubt noticed the stray hairs.

“Thank you,” you said, brushing the hand holding the door open as you slid in with a grace you previously had only dreamed of maintaining naturally. When the car door shut a little sliver of pride was blooming inside of you as the realization of how you had finally, finally managed to be elegant in Pariston’s presence.

The bloom made you smile so sincerely that when Pariston got into the car he took notice, a chuckle of question as the car took off which made you look at him. Immediately his hand brushed the stray hairs behind your ear, taking extra care to caress the sensitive outer ear with his thumb as he did so. “You seem to be having a good night,” he pointed out with great pleasure.

“I guess it just feels so… normal,” you said looking away as the slightest blush crossed your cheeks.

A long ‘hm’ came from Pariston as he moved a few inches closer to you on the seat. “It does, doesn’t it? Even your demur blushes are the same.”

The blush deepened and his pleasure only grew. “Look at me.” It was an order, but the kind he had started the relationship with. It was warm, inviting, maybe a little playful. But now you knew the dark center that honey hid, and your breath caught as you slid your gaze to his. “You look beautiful,” he complimented before kissing you.

It was chaste, but you started to melt immediately. Naturally you leaned into the kiss, feeling the layer of gunk that still remained from Thursday night start to dissipate at the familiar contact. Delicately you touched the side of his face, the movement a trained reaction to simple kisses.

Without meaning to, you took in his desire. A warm, deep red vine wrapped up your wrist, and it felt tangible- which it had never been before. Even Hisoka, the pleasure demon, hadn’t had such a strong desire like this. It burned your skin as it grew around and around your arm to your neck and you let out a long breath as your body filled with complicated feelings.

But one stood out as you felt your body cry for air once more. The indisputable desire for ownership.

He called your name, snapping you out of the illusion of being strangled to death by the red, thorny ivy of Pariston’s desire. “There you are,” he said seeing your eyes focus on him again as you blinked and tried to inaudibly resume breathing. “Where did you go?”

“I guess I got lost in the moment,” you said with a small, awkward laugh. Trying to resume your cool you sat back into your seat and ran a hand through the hair next to your ear, appearing to accidentally free the strand he had just fixed. “I apologize I didn’t even ask where we were going. I hope I dressed appropriately.”

He frowned, if it was due to the hair or your pulling away it wasn’t clear. But you could feel his disappointment in the air as you crossed your hands over your lap and tried to clear your head. It was unbelievably hard. Is this what addicts felt like? That just being near the vice that almost destroyed them still could call to every part of their being like a need? The drubbing in their heads of ‘just one more time’ as their nervous system shook with such immense power that you couldn’t recall a time when you didn’t feel this way. A time when you were calm, and your head was clear.

Was it like that for them?

Because it was like that for you.

A warm hand covered both of yours in your lap as you were staring at your ghostly reflection in the window, attempting to focus on some visible reminder of who you were and what you were doing. As he took your hand closest to him into his and pulled it to the seat between you he spoke softly, “Your attire is perfect, as far as I can see.”

Without thought you swallowed, picking up the hidden meaning in his words. He wanted to know if you were wearing his gift or not. “Good. I think it is a bit late to turn around and change,” you attempted to joke, still looking at the window and hoping he couldn’t see your pulse pounding.

‘You can do this. Don’t forget what you’re doing here. This is just to make him keep his guard down. If you avoided him he’d be too defensive. Remember what you’ve done to get here,’ you thought to yourself, forcing thoughts of Haven’s Arena. The blood you had poured onto the floor- some of it yours, some of it not- and the harsh lessons of combat you had to relearn in the forms of bruises and points.

Just as you were forcefully summoning the image of Chrollo laying on your living room floor, remembering that you had straddled the leader of The Phantom Troupe and controlled him for those brief moments, Pariston squeezed your hand hard enough that you looked at him out of reflex. It hurt, he had meant for it to. An unspoken warning of not giving him what he felt he deserved of your attention. “No need to change again.”

Everything he said had double meanings, or they did to you. Had he always spoken in this way?

Before you could think more on it, he pulled you into him and kissed you with force. If anyone had been watching it would have appeared passionate, a kiss full of lust and love in equal measure.

But next to him on the seat you knew it was teeming of possession.

And you fell into it.

His mouth moved against yours. Biting down on your lower lip just as you took in a breath made your lungs completely freeze. The world was hazy again, but not like when you had been drugged. Not the feeling of an oil painting that had been blurred expertly to create a starry sky. It was watercolor out of focus. The colors bled uncontrolled, red running over the corners of the page in a mess. It was impossible to see where one color began and another ended.

“We’re here,” he mumbled against your lips, keeping your face steady with a firm hand as you started for another kiss.

In the haze you had ended up on his lap, straddling him in the somewhat cramped back seat of the car. Some part of you was mortified. Completely aghast at how fast you had fallen onto his lap and drank up his kisses. But something inside of you was too strong now and you smiled at Pariston from your place above him.

‘Soon, you will look up at me just like you are now and in your eyes I’ll see the moment you realize you lost.’

“You’ve become quite brazen haven’t you?” he asked, sliding a hand up your thigh. The tips of his fingers reached out to touch your underwear and you grabbed the hand with a smile.

“No cheating now,” you told him as you shifted from his lap to the seat once more. He returned the smile, but it was forced. “Good things come to those who wait.”

The door opened next to you before Pariston could reply and you exited with the last word for the second time.

But the feeling of triumph wasn’t to last. As your feet hit the concrete, a part of your mind kept you from standing up. Instinct had again kicked in but as was par for the course when it came to Pariston, even your instinct was a bit too late to help you now.

Pariston’s upscale apartment building loomed before you, casting a shadow that was so cold you felt frost forming in your chest.

That son of a bitch had really upped the game quickly. The chess board was a mess.

“Madam?” he asked with an offered hand to you. The look on his face devoid of outward smile, but you could feel the aura of superiority radiating off of him. You took it, not hiding the look of complex emotion on your face as he helped you to stand. Somehow with the world under your feet, you didn’t feel better. “What’s wrong?”

“I just thought we were going out,” you replied, still holding his hand.

“My initial plan was to do that but, well,” he drifted off and you looked at him as he feigned innocence, going as far as to rub his neck as if discomforted. “I thought something more intimate would be appropriate.”

“Appropriate?”

He chuckled at your uplifted eyebrow, taking your other hand into his. “Just a little apology dinner.”

You couldn’t breathe.

Or speak.

“An attempt to fix things up between us,” he continued since you hadn’t replied. “Come on,” he said kissing the back of your hands, “I’m cooking tonight.”

~*~*~

How did you allow this to happen? How had you ended up in the place you visited in your nightmares until only a few months ago?

You had been confident that anything Pariston threw at you wouldn’t be enough to shake you more than he himself did. But he had known that, hadn’t he?

Alone in the dining room of the high end apartment, you checked your cell phone over and over again for a text from Chrollo or Hisoka. When absolutely positive Pariston wasn’t coming in soon to check on you, you even braved a peak at the text conversations you had saved from Hisoka.

You had meant to delete them. Keep the trail as thin as possible. But you looked at them as confidence boosters when you felt yourself slipping back into your old ways. And nothing made you feel like you were backsliding more than sitting in Pariston’s apartment, preparing to eat a dinner he made you, knowing he would expect payment for his hospitality and thoughtfulness.

[Yes, ma'am~♡]

You read it again and again, remembering the feeling of Hisoka’s desires filling you that first time. It had happened so fast and you had felt full to the point of bursting. Confident, reckless, unafraid.

Footsteps approaching alerted you to Pariston’s imminent arrival, and you locked your phone before dropping it into your purse in a flash.

“I hope you are hungry,” his voice greeted as he entered into the dining room.

Even the callused part of you had to admit he looked extra attractive. He was without his suit jacket, the top two buttons of his shirt undone, sleeves unbuttoned, and rolled up. Seeing him outside of his normal presentation was special, a treat that you had come to appreciate during your time together. You dug your fingernails into your palm to help you focus as he laid down two covered trays, one in front of you, and one in front of his own place directly across from you.

The smell of warm protein over wrote your paranoia somewhat and your stomach pained. “It smells wonderful,” you said truthfully. “What did you make?”

Pariston snatched the lids off of the trays with a flourish, that was indeed impressive, revealing a warm plate of food. “Pomegranate duck with Greek salad and a side of gravy-stuffed duchess potatoes.”

The plate was colorful from the brown of the roasted duck to the bright red tomatoes in the salad. The potatoes were beautifully yellow and when you put your fork into the artfully raised mash gravy seeped out. “Pariston… this is impressive,” you complimented sincerely as you tasted the duck. It had a slight sweet taste due to the pomegranate juice.

He laughed as he took his seat. “Don’t forget your napkin,” he reminded you.

Automatically you placed your napkin into your lap and Pariston seemed pleased that you listened so readily.

The food was delicious, and at no point did you feel anything like when you had been drugged at the bar. Maybe he hadn’t arranged that entire mess. Perhaps you had just been too paranoid.

Pariston provided amicable conversation and somehow you both started talking about art. His recent dive into becoming an art patron provided a lot to talk about, and when he mentioned seeing you at the gallery your throat didn’t close up around the potato you had just swallowed. Everything was comfortable. You sipped some of the white wine, washing down the duck with a with something that was probably worth more than your rent.

As his hand reached out and covered yours he said your name in a quiet tone which made you hesitate before looking up at him. “Do you hate me?” he asked, looking so deeply into your eyes that you could practically feel him trying to pick your brain from across the table.

You had become so swept up in the evening- the food, the wine, how sweet he was being, good conversation- that you didn’t even hesitate when you whispered, “No. Of course not.”

The grip on your hand increased and you winced as Pariston stood. He moved around the table and pulled you out of your seat by the hand, with very little thought to if it would hurt your arm to do so. Like a practiced dance he turned on you, making you back up into the dining room wall like a retreating animal. “Par-”

“Look me in the eyes,” he commanded as his free hand grabbed your shoulder, thumb pushing into the soft muscle under the clavicle, “tell me if you hate me.” His voice had a softness to it, even as he pinned your right hand to the wall next to your head. The tone made your breath catch as his deep brown eyes stared you down, not looking away from your face for even a second. Spite the position something about it was comforting in its familiarity and a familiar feeling of sinking into a prickly warmth swam through your mind.

It took a conscious effort to raise your left hand to his exposed forearm, gripping it with the right amount of force that he wouldn’t think it was a challenge. You had to steady your mind, focus. Things were escalating too quickly to use your power with the care you would have liked, so you drew from him his desire in a rush.

Red, thorny vines covered you from head to toe. His desire entangling you literally. Each wrist was wrapped tightly, as were your ankles and throat. Though they weren’t physical they felt it on every level as Pariston’s strongest desire burned into your skin: destroy.

The rush of it was a hard slap in the face. You had started to slip back into your old pattern with him, letting him lead you through the familiar motions and succumbing to him so easily. He was determining the pace of the evening, the conversation flow, even this physical altercation you had just allowed to happen. You even had started feeling something for this monster again. Undeniably, you felt like an idiot standing there realizing that over dinner he had so easily lured you back into him. Even this more aggressive movement would have been exciting to you once upon a time. A sign of Pariston having strong enough feelings in some way that he was acting out from his norm.

And if it hadn’t been for your power, even now you might have been stuck in that cycle. Thinking this drastic move was just an act of his passion for you. That somewhere in that evil heart he loved you.

But his desires told the truth. He wanted you to break into pieces and hate him. What he wanted the most in the world was for you to be consumed with hate, because then he’d truly own you. Once you allowed yourself to truly hate him, he’d own part of you more permanently than love ever could.

People fall out of love all the time. But true hate?

True hate resisted everything. Hate would be buried with you.

You smiled, like the love sick puppy you once were. “Of course I don’t hate you, Pariston.” What made it all the sweeter was, it was true. That part of yourself you had been fighting for a year, and more intensely tonight than ever before, loved this monster.

With your hand still on his arm you drove your desire in Pariston with a push, sure that in the heat of this moment he wouldn’t notice any influence on his own desires as you told him to kiss you. Take you into his arms and make you his again.

And he did.

Just that easily Pariston kissed you and commanded you to undress right there in the dining room, dinner growing cold on the table behind him. And happily you complied. Though you had gotten accustomed to telling other people what to do, the facade of the person he had groomed easily slid out as he unzipped the back of the dress and you pulled it off to reveal the white bra and panty set he had gifted you. Now you had practice in heels, so as he rubbed your pussy through the white underwear you didn’t even wobble as you gasped his name.

Even as you let your outward self revert back to the toy he had once broken, some part of the new you was a pillar inside. It kept you steady against his movements mentally and physically. And even as you whispered his name, it was nothing like how your tiny voice pled before. It had a strength and substance to it. He watched you moan and move against the dining room wall and he noticed this change- as he noticed all things with utmost scrutiny. “You’ve become quite the dirty slut haven’t you?” he asked, fingers moving the fabric to the side so that he could touch your wet skin.

“Yes. Will you punish me for being a dirty slut, Pariston?” You looked at him through your eyelashes, wanting him to kiss you again.

“You’ve gotten too bold, perhaps,” his voice was low, guttural and deep. Some of the softness slipping off as his excitement grew.

“Forgive me.”

“Earn it,” he responded before kissing you and releasing your face to grab a fist full of your hair.

In a fluid movement Pariston stood back, whipped you toward the table, and pushed you face down with a loud thud onto the table clothed surface. Fortunately he had a large table so your face didn’t go into the pomegranate duck, but a slight stabbing on your stomach said perhaps a fork still found its way under you.

His hand left your head, but you didn’t try to sit up as the sound of Pariston’s belt being undone behind you sent shivers through your body. “Did you think that I wouldn’t notice you coming back to the city exactly a year since you left?”

“No. I didn’t think you’d pay any attention to me,” you replied and received a punishing whip of the belt across the back of your thighs. It stung, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as you knew he was capable of making it. He was still holding back. Still playing the early game again to lure you into his grasp. The darkest part of him waiting for you to slip up and completely trust him just like last time.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Pariston asked, voice stern and somewhat distant. Just a taste of how it sounded when he was planning on being particularly cruel.

‘I hope so,’ you thought. “No,” you said.

He whipped you again and you clenched the table cloth into your hands. You had pumped enough desire into him that you knew he wouldn’t be able to torture you too long before the need to take you took over him. “What did you say you wanted from me?” he rubbed a hand down your exposed back to your ass.

“Forgive me.”

A slap with his hand this time on to your ass, but it was just as hard as the belt somehow. “For?”

You swallowed, doing your best to keep your legs from shaking, your control over the muscles was being pushed to its limit by this point. “Forgive me for being a dirty slut.”

“You’re already wet. What else can you expect from a slut?”

You knew this wasn’t a question to be answered, but he gave your ass another slap anyway. He leaned over you, crushing you into the table as he did just so he could put his mouth close to your ear. “You may have gotten bolder, but you’re still the same in one way.” You looked at him out the corner of your eye, his wide lipped smile the only thing you could see. “You still get wet for me the same as you did back then. You’re still mine.”

He sat up and there was a pause before he shoved himself into you as hard as he could. Your hips slammed into the side of the table and a year long itch that had been frozen inside of you thawed all at once and diffused into you. It was like warm massage oil dripping into every crevice of every muscle. It felt better than a hot shower. And even as Pariston moved against you with a force so strong it caused pain with each push- there was no way you wouldn’t be bruised tomorrow- it was still exactly what you wanted. Even the fork podding your side just added to the feeling of bliss.

The heels didn’t offer much traction, but you kept your feet steady through the slight conscious will you had managed to retain even as Pariston gripped your shoulder to help bring you back into his hips over and over again.

There was no way to know how long this went on, every nerve that he had groomed was on fire. Pariston was either lost in chasing the instilled need or feeling kind because you orgasmed as he roughly moved against you, giving you a high to ride out as he continued to use you for his own pleasure until he came inside of you.

When he pulled out, you felt the warmth of the last of his cum slide down your inner thigh and you sighed in contentment.

You hated to admit it, even though it was just to yourself, but you felt as if something inside of you had been deeply satisfied. The heavy pain that you had carried from who you were before was at long last dissipating while simultaneously the person you had been building up for an entire year was more fired up than ever before. Because now you knew something you hadn’t previously.

The thing you thought was your greatest weakness against Pariston, that feeling of love, was your greatest strength against him. As long as you still held that horrible feeling inside of you, he couldn’t truly claim victory.

Pariston probably felt like he had already won the chess game, but you knew that now your queen was moving into place for checkmate. It was only a few more moves away.

#long post #star fic #she wants revenge series #pariston hill//#hunter x hunter//#dark fic #dark tea//#thank you all for your patience!#I hope you all enjoy it!!

21 notes · View notes

rkevent · 5 years ago

Photo

After having the chance to showcase two different concepts in front of the coaches and (hopefully) proving they can be versatile, now it’s time to put all their efforts into dancing. Through the month, coaches will be even more strict during dance lessons and do their best helping trainees to improve their skills and techniques, but instead of trying different styles, they are instructed to pick one song with a choreography they like and practice it until it’s almost perfect and they can dance to it in their sleep, if there’s no song playing or if they have to switch parts with other members. In other words, regardless the condition, they don’t want mistakes happening and it’s only possible with a lot of practice.

Because the focus will be somewhere else, they don’t need to sing live this time. To make monitoring their progress easier for everyone, trainees should record their practice everyday as usual, either solo or with the group, and send one of the group dance practices videos to a coach at least a week before the evaluation. Coaches will also randomly select groups to perform their songs at any moment of the day to test them with different scenarios. The final performances will take place in one of Seocho’s practice rooms on April 30th, Thursday, when they will show what they prepared.

However, there’s a twist: The videos they sent before were used as reference for the coaches to pick another song that fits the choreography to trick them and test if they really memorized it as they should. Once trainees get ready to perform, they will be informed another song will be playing instead, but they should still dance the routine they prepared until the very end (as seen here). Trainees are allowed to team up with others from different companies, but this time, they are told to focus their energy on only one performance and show impeccable timing, synchronization and clean moves. This time, they will take turns to get into the room, but once they enter Seocho’s auditorium, they can only leave after all trainees performed to keep it a secret.

*Some cuts on the reference videos will be allowed for the fun sake!

In order to collect +2 POINTS TO DISTRIBUTE AS YOU WISH and +2 DEBUT POINTS, write 250+ words solo ora four-post thread with another trainee involving the preparations for this month’s evaluation. For +3 POINTS IN A RELEVANT SKILL, +2 DEBUT POINTS and +1WK RELEVANT ACHIEVEMENT, write one 300+ words solo about your muse’s performance for this month’s evaluation. Please tag all your posts with #rkapr20eval and have them up by midnight EST at the end of Thursday, April 30th. Threads may be continued after the deadline, but points can only be collected if the requirements are met before it.

APRIL EVALUATION (for the MAY 6th verification form)

[link to thread or solo about preparation]

+2 ___ POINTS +2 DEBUT POINTS NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

[link to solo about evaluation]

+3 ___ (RELEVANT) POINTS +2 DEBUT POINTS +1WK ___ (RELEVANT) ACHIEVEMENT (number of times taken + current level) NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

#rkapr20eval

5 notes · View notes

becomewings · 5 years ago

Text

Archived Network Event

2020 Secret Bunny Exchange

hai lovely! Im sparkle and I’m going to be your secret bunny. I hope you’re having a good day or night. 🥰 -sparkle ✨💫

Hello Sparkle dear! Thank you for being my secret bunny. I hope you are having a good day/night too and enjoying this wonderful comeback.

I’m enjoying it too! It’s such a good comeback, and I honestly love it. This is like my second comeback with them. -sparkle 💫✨

This is my first comeback, eek! I was not at all prepared for how much I would be waiting on the edge of my seat, but it's been really exciting!

Yes! It's such a good comeback honestly. When did you first get into BTS? What drew you to them? I'm sorry I'm asking for many questions. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨

It's okay, ask away! ^^ I stumbled across BTS by accident...which may indicate just how much I live under a cultural rock. I actually don't usually listen to much pop music. I'm a classically trained composer and video game soundtracks and moody indie/rock are more my jam, but last year I heard the YouTube ad that uses part of DNA and it intrigued me. I didn't know which song it was so I ended up listening through quite a bit before finding it...and fell absolutely in love along the way! So I have a soft spot in my heart for DNA. How about you, Sparkle? What got you into BTS?

So first, I hope you're having a too day/night! It's been a very long and busy one for me. I'm so glad to be off. Alsooo, I've been into Kpop for around 10 years now, so I've always enjoyed and I have a soft spot for 2nd gen kpop groups. When BTS started to get popular I didn't like them at first. But I saw Dope after the FBE channel reacted to them and I'm like okay they seem interesting around 2018. Lol. And I went down the hole, and have been stuck since. Lol. They're amazing. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you Sparkle, hope you enjoy your evening off! Mine was busy too (we’re prepping for a move, eep) but at least it was productive. Wow, you’ve been into Kpop for a long time! Dope is really catchy (and I love that honky sax haha), I’m not surprised it got you interested and then hooked. :) Do you have a favorite era? Mine is probablyyy Wings, but I love most of Love Yourself too, and HYYH is so wonderfully nostalgic even if I wasn’t a fan then... and I’m a big fan of this new era too

Moving sucks! I'm going to be moving in the next year or so, and I"m not read for it. And yes! I've been into it for so long. But HYYH is one of my favorites as well. I think mine may be LY because that was the era that I started stanning them. I forget which one, but it's the one with idol as their title song. Wings is super amazing, and one of those that I'll always listen to. MOTS is just GOD TIER. Lol. I love it. -sparkle 💫✨

Haha MoTS being god tier is accurate xD Sounds like your move is a little ways off, but I wish you the best of luck when it happens! Ours is on a fairly tight deadline so I really have to hustle this weekend with house preparations (we still need to sell ours). I hope you have a lovely weekend, dear Sparkle! 💫

It is a little ways off, but moving just sucks in general. The packing and unpacking and then trying to get everything ready. Especially in your case. But I hope everything works out for you. And I hope you have a beautiful weekend too. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! We made a lot of progress today so I feel a bit better (and extremely tired). When the time comes, I hope you have the opportunity to prepare ahead for your move so it doesn't stress you too much. :) Have a nice start to your week! ✨

Heyyy! It's me sparkle! It's been alright so far, let's how it stays that way. And I'm glad you've made more progress on your move! Hopefully your Monday was good. -sparkle 💫✨

Thank you, Sparkle! There's so much going on in the world right now, close to home and far away... I am trying to stay calm and positive, with varying degrees of success. Please take care of yourself! (And that goes to everyone... I know it is difficult because we all have our own obligations to school, work, family, etc., but please try to prioritize your health and stay safe 💜)

Yes! I hope you’re staying safe. I don’t know what area of the world you live in and I know the virus is hitting others harder than most. We have 8 reported cases here. And it’s a scary to me. I hope you are staying safe. I just said that twice. Lol. Happy Thursday! -sparkle ✨💫

Thank you, you too! I live in the US (California, to be somewhat specific) and so far there have been two confirmed cases in my county. I'm grateful the university I work at is (finally) taking precautionary measures by banning large gatherings and moving classes temporarily online, and that I can continue working unless there is a full campus closure... Trying not to be too anxious about things that are simply out of my control and hoping that things gradually work out and improve. I'm also grateful for the community here, even if I don't know anyone personally, it is nice to come online and see people being reassuring and encouraging to each other from all across the globe.

Music and BTS are a good distraction when needed... Now that their promotional period is done, do you have a favorite moment?

I'll repeat you too, please stay safe dear, you and everyone who happens to read this 💜

I truly wish that my job would take some measures, and they have yet. I work with the general public a lot as a secretary. So it's like seriously having me on edge. I know the schools year have temporally closed down and moving things to online since it was spring break here. As well as the public schools closing for a month. Honestly, I'm not sure if I have a favorite moment honestly. Lol. They were all good moments, but I did quite enjoy watching all the ON performances. What about you?

I truly hope your employer catches on soon and makes accommodations so that you can practice some social distancing and have a safe work environment. We were just informed today that we have to work from home two days next week, on rotation, to keep our department staffed but also reduce the number of people on the floor -- for next week only so far, but I won’t be surprised if it continues past that. I can’t fulfill all of my responsibilities from home, so I’m grateful that they are allowing us to complete online trainings and such in the meantime. I am also so glad it’s Friday. What a week it’s been.

Ahh, I love ON! As a former member of drumline and marching band, I have such a fondness for the drum corps elements they incorporated into the music and background choreography. I was excited for the Official MV version too, so beautiful and thought-provoking! I also looove Black Swan (JIMIN’S DANCING EEK). I haven’t been as excited about something in a long time as when I stayed up late to catch their first performance on James Corden. So while I’ve enjoyed all of the comeback (especially as it’s my first!), that was particularly memorable for me. The surprise MV drop was also lovely 🦢🖤

Sorry, I am really rambly tonight. Please take care and have a good weekend! Hope you can get lots of rest! 💗

It’s been a long couple days! Sorry I haven’t gotten back with you! I’ve been stressed about everything going on, and I do hope that they catch on soon too. I was very excited for this comeback and the art in their videos has been beautiful. Black Swan and Jimin dance break? Quality content honestly. Yes! The surprise MV was great. I prefer this version of Black Swan over the other, but both are good. I hope you had a good weekend! -sparkle 💫✨

Hi again Sparkle, thank you for checking in on me! Please don't apologize for messaging delays, there's no need! We all signed up for this event long before any of this started, so I'm grateful you can spare a little time to chat with me. 💜 I'm working from home for at least the next 3 weeks because my uni is now fully closed... But I'm very grateful I have that opportunity. (As much as sometimes I would just like to go to sleep and wake up when this is all over, hah!)

Please continue to take care of yourself! Hope you find some comfort in music or other personal hobbies!

How are you doing? Last week was so stressful for me. So I am quite happy to be working from home this week. I hope you are staying healthy and happy through all of this! How was your week last week? I hope your weekend was alright? I had a pretty decent one me and a couple close friends had game night, and that was the highlight of my weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

I missed hearing from you, Sparkle! (But totally understand, the world is upside down right now.) I’m sorry you had a stressful week and I hope this one is better for you as you transition to working from home. My days have just fluctuated between quiet/boring and a little stressful (mostly re: house stuff, but that’s out of my control at this point), but I suppose I’m glad it hasn’t been worse than that.

Ooh what are your favorite games?? I’ve been trying to keep up creative side work between writing and blog content, but… I might purchase Animal Crossing soon hehe. Do you have any other hobbies to help distract you from stress/everything that’s going on? Take care dear! 💗

I know! I let time get away from me honestly! I hadn't been meaning too. I miss talking to you! I love all kind of games. I'm not particularly picky, but i do like that Game of LIfe. I've had just about ever version they've made. We played this one called Blockbuster in reference to movies and it was fun because if you know a lot of movies it's somewhat easy but you have to act out some of hte titles. Lol. Animal crossing seems like fun, everyone talks about it. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I’ve never played it before. I’ve been thinking of getting an Nintendo Switch, but I don’t know how often I would play it. I know that game comes on there. But I heard it’s also an app? I’m not entirely sure. Lol. Also, I’m planning on making you a gif set for the secret bunny exchange! I know you said you love Jimin (my bias wrecker and sweet baby), Kookie, and Tae. And you were right, it’s hard to pick just ONE. Is there any particular one you want to see in a gif set? -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

Receiving messages from you makes me happy! ^^ I know life is strange right now though so completely understand if you don’t have time. I’ll be patiently waiting!

So you like tabletop games? Sounds fun! I gravitate toward video games more personally, but haven’t had too much time lately to play. There are definitely fun ones to try if you ever get a Switch! There’s Breath of the Wild of course, which I admit I am still holding off on finishing because I don’t want it to be over LOL, some Mario & friends party games if that’s your jam, as well as some really beautiful indie games (Gris for example!). ANYWAY I won’t ramble about that anymore haha. I’m not sure what the app is, if you were referring to Animal Crossing–might be a companion to the game? I saw a tweet referring to using an app for quicker messaging in AC lol, but I haven’t played the game myself yet.

Aw thank you so much for asking about the gift (and for making it in the future)!! Oh dear you want ME to pick one? If I’m honest, I think Jimin and Tae light up my heart the absolute most (any vmin content gives me life but totally understand if that’s not your thing) but… please don’t ask me to… choose between them HAHA. How about you go with whoever would give you the most joy to gif right now?? I will truly be happy to receive any gift from you, regardless of who is featured. :’)) thank you dear!!

(Edit: btw who is your bias??)

I love tabletop games, and I play a lot of video games too. So don't get me wrong, I am huge into video games, but I don't play them as often. my boyfriend uses his PS4 all the time. I'm still trying to get through SpiderMan, but that's also because I don't wanna end it. I'm almost finished though. And yes! It's so hard to choose just one honestly, so I get your dilemma. And I can do vmin content! I don't gif them much and I want too. I can't wait to work on something for you! -sparkle 💫✨

Yay!! Sounds like we might have that in common. I have a huge appreciation for video games (and video game soundtracks is one of my favorite ‘genres’ of music, recognizing that they’re incredibly diverse of course), but I spend more time watching videos of other people playing them than playing them myself haha. We have a PS4 too. SpiderMan looked fun but I never tried it! I loved watching my partner play FFXV and Death Stranding. Trying to remember what I’ve actually finished on PS4, it’s been awhile lol... Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture and Rime were beautiful. I started Last Guardian but didn’t get very far before life got too busy. :( Hope I can pick it up again some day! Do you have a favorite PS4 game?

Aww you’re too kind. I’m so excited to see what you create!! And to chat with you off-anon. :) Who is your favorite member to gif?

Yes, I also like watching other people play video games, but it's rare when I do. I always end up getting distract sometimes. I've played SpiderMan, Horizon Zero Dawn, which are my favorites as well as Tomb Raider. I do really like FFXV, but i haven't played it in so long though. I can't wait to talk to you off anon either. I be having to really make sure I press the anon button. adlfkjsl I"m bad at forgetting. And Yoongi is my favorite to gif. -sparkle 💫✨

Oo I forgot I watched some of Horizon Zero Dawn too! Very impressive game. It looks like a lot of fun and I might try to play it myself in the future.. but like you said, it’s easy to get distracted. Life just likes to get in the way huh. Have you seen/heard of Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice? Intennnnse. I’m an absolute coward when it comes to horror games (or movies) and somehow my partner tricked me into playing one of the scariest parts because he got too scared HAH. That being said, as much as I love really emotionally intense games, I love soft gentle ones too… especially chill co-ops! (I’m thinking of the one we played most recently, Pode… that was on Switch though.)

Yayy Yoongi! I really do love all of BTS, and while the maknae line ran off with my heart, I have a big soft spot for Yoongi. I was never really drawn to rap/hip-hop except maybe Linkin Park like in middle school am I dating myself until I met Yoongi and just… wow. ._. He’s so expressive in his delivery, his lyrics are heart-breakingly raw and honest, and he has extraordinary range between his gentlest material and the lines that come at you with a knife. Also I’m so proud of him for continuing to work as a producer and refine those skills on top of his life as an idol. What are your favorite things about Yoongi? If you can even choose haha 💗

Lol I know what you mean, I was really paranoid the first 2 weeks about sending anon messages to my other partners on mobile because the interface was different and I was really suspicious of the term ‘public’ vs ‘private.’ And every time I send the ask for about 5 seconds I question whether or not I clicked anon.

P.S. I should keep my mouth shut but … I have an itty bitty guess of who you may be. I won’t say any more than that and I guess I’ll find out in 2 weeks whether I’m right or wrong haha. xD take care sparkle dear!!

That game was really fun honestly. I still haven't finished. And sameeee! I am not into the horror games. The movies I can do, but the games I'm just too scared to really play them. I tried Resident Evil, and I was like this is a BIG FAT NO. Lol. And I haven't heard of that game though, but it sounds intense by the name of it. I also like soft gentle ones, or the ones were it's not a lot of challenging aspects to it. I really like Spyro. The original and the remake. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

Linkin Park is one of my favorite groups. I love them, and miss Chester so much. Also it sounds like we're maybe around the same age because that's when I got into them maybe? And I am so proud of him for everything that he's done. Yoongi originally wasn't my bias at first. I think maybe it was going to be Taehyung, but watching their variety shows made me fall in love with him. Outside of his hard exterior, he's so sweet and loving of the boys. It's so hard to just pick one! -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Okay, so one more. Lol. Because the ask limit is so short! I get paranoid all the time, and i have to like double check to make sure I Press it. alkdjfls NOW i'm curious as to who you think I am! But I do how you have a wonderful weekend. -sparkle 💫✨

Dying over your Resident Evil reaction because... SAME lol. However. I have enjoyed watching some playthroughs of 7 and the remake of 2, which is the closest I will ever come to watching a horror movie again. xD I have really fond memories of playing Spyro at my cousin’s house as a kid, but haven’t tried the remake yet! It looks like fun too. There are too many good games to choose from, not nearly enough time to play lol.

I only really listened to a couple of Linkin Park’s old albums, but I miss Chester too. \: We could be around the same age yeah! I’ll tell you when we’re messaging off-anon. :)

If I may tell a story, my discovery of BTS went like this: heard a music clip in a YouTube ad of all places (normally skip them lol but I got it a couple times at work and thought hmm this is catchy). Then had to dive into some compilation videos to figure out which heckin song it was (turned out to be DNA). But along the way I found more songs I liked. And then I fell HARD for the Mic Drop MV (again, a little strange for me, because it’s pretty hip-hoppy). Jungkook makes this super intense expression at one moment that made me go oh. hello. So then I slowly learned who the different members were, and since this was me mostly streaming YT in the background at work haha, I had to keep switching tabs to check who was singing. I loved Jungkook’s singing but then also realized that I loved Jimin’s sweet voice too (yes I admit when I was first getting to know them, I could not always tell them apart). And THEN mister baritone Tae with his unique falsetto and delicious low range (I really wish they featured his chest voice more but OH WELL I digress) snagged my attention and ANYWAY long story short that’s how I fell in love with BTS and also the entire maknae line I guess. :’)

Hehehe I’ll tell you after the event ends if I’m right or wrong, don’t worry. It might be almost over, but I hope you had a lovely weekend too! ♥♥♥

Yes, somehow my sister convinced me to get it like she was going to play the game too, and she did not. I ended up exchanging the game because I'm like this is a waste of money. haha. I usually always skipped them too, so I totally understand. Everyone I knew liked but I had stopped listening to kpop for a while after the members of Big Bang went into enlistment (sad sad times). I first heard Dope. The FBE Youtube channel reacted to them, and I'm like OKAY GUYS. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

When Jungkook hits that high note I was like COME THROUGH VOCALS. So then naturally I had to go and look a few more videos. This was during around the time they had appeared on the AMAs the first time. And then I listened to I Need U and Save Me (this is one of my favorites). And I was hooked. I went and watched their Ellen interviews, and they're so sweet. I ended up binge watching their variety show and Bon Voyage and I was hooked then. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Run BTS was when I realized that Yoongi was my bias. Because I'll admit that I did not like him at first, but I said that already. And then I just realized how sweet and funny he actually his. And I think he's just shy at times. At least in the beginning, but he's so handsome and his stage presence is like a 360 from him being off stage. If that makes sense. I could go on for house about Yoongi. Lol. -sparkle 💫✨3/3

The high notes in Dope are pretty ridiculous because they’re at the start of the phrase so they get little to no preparation lol. Their vocal abilities are truly impressive... and then they do it all while dancing :’)

I agree that Yoongi’s stage presence is strikingly different from his real self! Or the self we get to see in their behind-the-scenes content lol. Possibly like a lot of people, I thought he was super intimidating and tough until I saw more of him offstage... and then went awww he’s a big softie who just doesn’t pull his punches when he’s rapping and producing.

Do you have any favorite Run BTS episodes? So far I’ve only watched a handful of the recent ones, but all the random gifs and clips of older content warms my heart or makes me laugh. I’d like to eventually watch them all from the beginning... some day lol. (see all previous mentions of being too busy to do anything fun outside of work haha)

They are ridiculous. I love when they hit high notes in songs. All the boys have such a beautiful range, and I love hearing them. Especially when they do their solo songs. Jimin's solos are normally my favorite because his voice is the type I tend to lean towards a lot His stage presence is so different! Just like Jhope's. It's always so different, but it's them all in a nutshell, if that makes sense. Lol. I was in Chorus for a while, and I liked it begin in a group. -sparkle 💫✨1/2

It's easier being in a group, but I could never do it by myself. And favorite Run episode? Hmmm, there are so many that I love. I prefer some of the older episodes to some of the new ones. I'll have to find them again, but there was one where they were doing like this haunted house type of thing and it had me dying of laughter. They're all so funny though. I'm still trying to catch up with some of the new ones they've been doing. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

The vocal line is so wonderful, but I’ve been increasingly impressed with the rap line’s singing too. I have always liked the beginning of Spring Day and I confess it took me an embarrassingly long time to wonder which one of them was singing, and I was surprised to learn that it’s Namjoon. Also his low line in Louder Than Bombs is wonderful... I don’t even care if it’s probably autotuned a little lolol. And I only recently found out about the song Sea, but Tae’s chest-range melody at the very end.. UGHGHGGH it’s too. good. (DEAR BIGHIT COMPOSERS, MORE BARI PLS.)

I had to sing in choir in grad school and ended up enjoying it way more than I thought I would. (I’m a composer/pianist and I needed ensemble credit.) I’ve always been really self conscious about my voice, and now... I would love to take vocal lessons some day. While I know that no two people will play an instrument exactly the same, it’s kind of magical that you don’t know what the true sound or full potential of your own singing voice will be until you train it. Do you play any instruments? :)

The vocal line is amazing. I love all of their voices for different reasons, and sometimes I'm in the mood for one, and then another time I'm in the mood for another. If that makes sense. I haven't listened to Sea that much, but it is such a beautiful song! And you're right. His chest tone HELLO VOCALS. Lol. I'd love to take vocal lessons one day, but not sure if I ever would. And I don't play any instruments, but I would love to learn guitar one day. Lol. It's a dream of mine. -sparkle 💫✨

Hii Sparkle. I’m sorry it took me a bit to get back to you, but it really makes me happy when I receive your messages! Yess Tae’s chest voice deserves all the shouty caps all the time hehe. I hope you have the opportunity to learn the guitar someday if that’s what your dream is! Everyone starts somewhere... I would love to learn the cello too :)) one day haha.

Do you have a favorite “underrated” bts song? Just curious! Take care dear, looking forward to finding out who you are soon~

Yay! I'm glad you like hearing from me! I really like talking to you. I don't talk to many people on here sometimes, but then other times I do. So this is nice just to be able to talk with a fellow army. One day I will learn it, I just have to learn how to read music first. Lol. Because I definitely don't know how to. Hmm honestly there are a few that I feel are underrated, that i Iove. Spring Day, Hold Me Tight, and Autumn Leaves. These songs are queens! What about you? -sparkle 💫✨

Music is a lifelong learning process but it’s worth it. :’) I believe in you!!

SPRING DAY!! 🌸🌸🌸 One of my all-time favorites. I honestly might not have a very good awareness of what is underrated and what isn’t, especially among older songs, but... I love Spring Day, The Truth Untold, Jamais Vu, and most recently Sea... lol hm I’m sensing a trend of bittersweet/melancholy songs. But also House of Cards (it’s just so delightfully WEIRD and dark and different??). On the other end of the spectrum (although not sure if it’s underrated?), Silver Spoon/Baepsae. What a jam. Love to tune out the world with that one at work on one of my walk breaks if I had a frustrating day. And maybe it’s too early to tell from MOTS 7, but I get the impression that I might love Louder Than Bombs way more than the average army. And that’s okay :)

I don’t talk to or know very many people on here yet too, probably because my blog is still relatively new. So I’m very glad to be getting to know you

I loved Spring Day as soon as I heard it. I still listen to it a lot when I'm in the mood for it. It's such a beautiful song. The Truth Untold IS A QUEEN. I love that one too. Jamais Vu, I think I have to be in the mood to listen to it sometimes, but it's growing on me. House of Cards, that one I heard last year sometime and I like that one too. I don't listen to it as much. And Silver Spoon is my go too song honestly on my way to work. Louder Than Bombs is really good. -sparkle 💫✨ 1/2

I listen to that one a lot myself. I think We Are Bulletproof 2.0 maybe one, but I'm not sure either. I absolutely adore that song so much. It's such a beautiful mad song honestly. And also you're right this update is kind of weird, but I don't mind the font so much. -sparkle 💫✨2/2

Yasss I’m glad you like Truth Untold too. It’s too beautiful. I practically cried when I heard for the first time a live performance video (somewhere in Japan) where he sang a higher note in the climax than in the studio recording auuughgghgh my heart.

We Are Bulletproof pt. 2 took awhile to grow on me but I was happy when it did. I can be a little odd about the order in which I listen to songs, and usually need to listen in album order, but for some reason I really like that one after No More Dream. Also, though it’s hardly underrated, I now know what all the fuss is about Cypher pt. 3. I’ve been gradually purchasing their older albums (kinda out of order) and finally got to Dark & Wild about a month ago haha. I’m listening to all these mad songs now. Been in a weird sad mood for a lot of today tbh and... mad bts is helping a little haha. So is chatting with you!

I’m probably overreacting about the dashboard, but something about that bubbly serif font is irritating haha. And I don’t see this mythical option to revert to the old dashboard that people are talking about in their settings. Boo. I’ll get over it... eventually haha.

The Truth Untold is one of my favorites, and I normally don't like ballads a lot. It takes me a while to get into them, but this one just caught my eye. I'm learning Korean, and it's one of the ones that I can sing along too while reading the lyrics! I am super proud of that accomplishment. When I was going through their albums after I got into them, I skipped the older ones at first. I wasn't sure if I really liked them. -sparkle 💫 1/2

I listen to a select few of them on their darker albums, but a lot of it isn’t really what I like hearing. Although, I think I may revisit the albums again. It’s been a while since I actually listened to them. haha if you go to settings > dashboard you’ll see it there. Just let it load for a second, adn then it pops up. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/2

(Ugh I typed an answer and then tried to drop in a screenshot and everything disappeared. Got it, tumblr. No dropping images. REDO.)

Oo that’s awesome that you’re learning Korean! Are you self-studying? How long have you been studying? I’ve been studying Japanese for several years (very slowly lol). Then a few months ago, thanks to BTS, I was suddenly really interested in learning Korean too. I worked on memorizing hangul for a week and then had a “lol what am I doing” moment when I realized I didn’t know nearly enough Japanese yet to realistically tackle two challenging languages at the same time. So Korean is on hold for now, but I really wish I could just… magically be fluent haha. It would be amazing to understand their lyrics or interviews/conversations on the spot without relying on translations. And English is stupidly difficult, so as much as I appreciate how much effort they’ve put into learning too… as an international fan, I wish I could return that effort too and learn their language so that they don’t feel like they need to learn English.

Love Yourself: Answer was my first album and I purchased that one specifically because it was a compilation and contained most of the individual songs I already knew I liked from YouTube haha. Then I expanded from there. To be honest, if I had found BTS when they were just getting started, or anytime before HYYH, I probably wouldn’t have connected with their music, sound-wise or thematically. But… they were exactly what I needed when I did finally find them. And now I have immense appreciation for their beginnings and how far they’ve come, even loving some older songs/styles that I never expected to. As I mentioned, I don’t usually listen to pop or rap/hip-hop… like ever haha. But something about them just reached into my heart and I’ll be forever grateful to them.

I tried what you suggested (waiting on the page) and… the text kinda jumped at one point as though something else had loaded, but nothing else displayed. Am I derping around on the wrong page? \:

edit: I see it in the source code, idk why the toggle isn’t displaying for me 🙃

Yes! I am self learning. I have been doing it on and off for like two years, but the last part of last year I've been doing it most often. However with everything that's going on, it's kind of slowed down and I've just been focusing on what's going on in the world right now. I feel the same. I think if I would have found them before, I don't think I would have liked them as much as I do now. I do have an appreciation for their older music even if I don't listen it to it much. 1/3 -sparkle 💫✨

Their first two albums I didn't like as much, but everything from then on I'm pretty sure I am obsessed with when I found them out. Lol. I do remember you say that previously that you don't listen to a lot of that style of music. What do you normally like to listen to? I listen to a lot of everything, so I'm not sure if I have a genre that i really stick too. Although, I think in the beginning i listened to a lot of hiphop/rap and alternative stuff. -sparkle 💫✨ 2/3

Then the older i got the more I got into pop music because I found kpop when I was about 17, and it's been stuck to me ever since. Lol. So I don't know I like a lot of music that makes me feel good and I can dance too or sing along with. I think maybe it depends on my mood. Lol . -sparkle 💫✨3/3

I think that’s awesome that you’re working on learning the language on your own! And I understand the challenges of keeping it up independently, especially in such strange and challenging times... I feel guilty that I stopped my daily kanji studying pretty much as soon as I started working from home. It was initially because I used my commute time to study (I’m in a vanpool) and... definitely lost some motivation once everything started changing. I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself though for taking a break, and I hope you are not either. I’m hoping to get back into soon and reform some study time habits :)

Yeah it sounds like you’ve been listening to Kpop for a long time! ^^ Aside from my fairly recent BTS obsession, I gravitate toward moodier music in general haha. Evanescence was my instant favorite way back in middle school and... tbh I still listen to their albums sometimes! I tended to like anything indie-ish with piano or rock + orchestra. I loved this European band Within Temptation, their music is like a blend of rock and symphonic orchestra. Nowadays, I love video game music and that’s probably what I listen to the most... Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasyyy), who is probably one of my biggest inspirations for pursuing composition, Austin Wintory (Journey, Abzu, etc), and more recently Jessica Curry (everything the Chinese Room studio made lol). The past few days I’ve been streaming the songs from Death Stranding. I admit I don’t tend to have a lot of variety... I’m kind of picky and when I find something I love, I will listen to that obsessively over and over for months on end. Like BTS. xD No regrets haha! But I know I should broaden my horizons too...

I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, but I know I'll get back into it soon as I set a schedule for myself. Evanescence is amazing, that's all I got to say. I love them so much, so I totally get it. That's interesting though. I love learning about others music interest. It's always so different and diverse from mine. And also, I realized I didn't answer your question about the dash, and for some reason I don't know why it's not showing up. You were in the right place though. -sparkle 💫✨

Yayy glad you like Evanescence! Yes it is amazing and also wonderful that we all have unique tastes. I know I should make a better effort to try out new things, because finding something new that I connect with is amazing (see: BTS hehe).

I'm so excited to meet you next week!! Please take care and enjoy the rest of your weekend 💗

Sometimes it’s harder to really step out the box. So I totally understand, but I’ve always kind of had “weird” taste in different music so I like listening to whatever it is I like! And yes! I can’t to show you what I’m working on. I’m still searching for things for it! Lol. So I hope you like it. Also I hope you have an amazing week! And also a good day! -sparkle ✨💫

I woke up way earlier than planned thanks to this new isolation insomnia, but I was so happy to see your message. 💜 I’m so excited to meet you, but don’t feel like you have to rush on the gift! I know whatever you make will be wonderful. I hope you have a great week too. Do you have any ~weird~ music suggestions? I’ll give them a try!

I totally understand how that is. I hate waking up earlier than I want too because then you don't want to get up out of bed, but then you're too awake to go back to sleep. At least that's how i feel. Hmmm, weird music suggestions? I'm not entire sure. I like Florence and the Machine, FK Twigs (this might be an acquired taste), Panic at the Disco. There's so much I listen too, and my mind is going blank. Lol. -sparkle ✨💫

Yeah, that was my feeling exactly. :( At least I put in a couple extra hours of work, so I’ll get to take a shorter Friday. Or whichever day we try to brave a grocery run.

Thank you, I will check them out! Hehe due to your comment, I am intrigued by FK Twigs. For some reason I couldn’t really get into Panic at the Disco in high school, even though I had friends who loved them, but... I do appreciate that someone made an Emote! at the Location bot on twitter. xD

I hope you are having a good week so far! Tbh mine has been a little gloomy, but... I am really looking forward to meeting you! And finding out if my guess is right haha :’)) Take care dear!

And I loved Panic! They were so good, I still love them or Brendon Urie. Lol. FK Twigs is really good, but I know she's not for everyone. I really enjoy her music honestly. And honestly, I'm just about finished with your gif set. I have to find a few more videos and I'll post it probably tomorrow or later tonight depending on when I finish. And hmm, I don't know I don't think it is, but it shouldn't be long though. however, I'm really curious to know who you think I am. -sparkle ✨💫

EEek I’m so excited!! (Please don’t stay up late just for me though!)

As much as I am terrible at branching out, I do enjoy finding new music I like, so thank you again for the suggestions! I will try to listen with open ears and mind haha. Have you heard of Fleurie? I stumbled across her music when an artist I followed made a piece inspired by some of her lyrics. She might be quite a bit different than the artists you recommended though.

I’m going to feel a little silly if I’m wrong, but I’ll tell you after the reveal so I don’t make a fool of myself early. xD Can I ask you one question – do you know your Myer-Briggs type?

I'll probably go to bed soon. I'm actually in bed. I just got stuck on the tiktok app, and I really shouldn't. I've never heard of her, but I'll have to check her out tomorrow and see what she's about. And yes! I do know my Myers-Briggs type! -sparkle ✨💫

Oops you fell down the internet rabbit hole before bed :) Hope you didn’t stay up too late and got enough rest!

Love and War is the first song I found by Fleurie, and it’s also the title of one of her albums. It’s a little bit older but probably my favorite overall! I love the song Hurts Like Hell. It’s devastating but beautiful.

Have a great day, hope to talk to you more soon! 💜

p.s. I’m INFJ ✨

I did fall down the rabbit hole of the internet. It always happens. Also you should check out Kerli! she's really interesting, and I really like her music. Her music videos are also really nice. Intriguing at most. Lol. And I'm infj too! -sparkle ✨💫

I know the reveal has been made, but I didn’t want to leave this sitting all alone in my inbox.

Thank you, Ash, for taking the time not only to make me a beautiful gift but to talk with me this past month. Thank you for being a light and comfort in these uncertain times. I will miss your little surprise messages, but I hope we keep in touch. Now I will go back to liking your wonderful posts (because I confess I held back once I started to guess who you were, I didn’t want you to be suspicious either HAH). I’ve said it a lot but I really hope you stay safe, healthy, and happy!! 💗✨💫💗

#network events #secret bunny exchange #asks #sparkle #yoonqiful #this really made my march better :')

3 notes · View notes

nhouvang-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

Pankaj and I first met in graduate school, by way of introduction from a mutual friend. Over the course of several months, our friendship blossomed. He asked me to go on a date with him several times; I was initially skeptical, but eventually conceded. I still remember staying up all night after our first date, talking about our families, our shared love of travel, and our life’s ambitions. It was as if we had known each other in a previous lifetime. We knew right away that we wanted to marry each other, but, of course, the actual proposal came years later. Ultimately, I found myself marrying my best friend and the man of my dreams.

What was your wedding style/theme/colors & how did it represent the two of you: Our goal was to create a magical, memorable, elegant experience for our family and friends, that was a true reflection of ourselves, our love, and our gratitude. The entire process really was a labor of love. Pankaj and I are both very detail-oriented people, so we poured our time and energy into making the wedding weekend an experience that everyone would remember forever. We brought on board Beth Helmstetter and Madeline Hunter, of Beth Helmstetter Events, to bring our ambitious vision to life. Beth’s creativity inspires me and she has such vast experience with luxury destination events; we knew that she was the one right away. Even now, several months after our wedding, we still receive countless compliments on how beautiful and meticulously planned the wedding was. The credit for that goes to her – she and her team are extraordinary. All events were held at the Ritz Carlton Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara, California. We wanted every event to be distinctly different from the others in terms of mood, décor, and color palette. The resort has such a striking beauty of its own, so it was important for us to keep the décor elegant yet simple, to enhance the natural beauty of the surroundings without competing with it. We were fortunate to be able to take over the resort for the weekend, so that all guests could be hosted on property to create a unified experience. The staff was amazing and took great care of our guests, which meant a lot to us.

The wedding was held over an extended weekend in September 2018. The events were as follows: Intimate mehendi gathering on Wednesday AM. The wedding festivities started with a small mehendi gathering on Wednesday afternoon. This was an informal event for family before the rest of the guests started to arrive. It was held in a private villa overlooking the ocean. The goal was to have my mehendi ready by Thursday night, so I could move around and enjoy the Welcome Party the following night. Vaishali Gordhan, of Henna by Vaish, was my mehendi artist. She has a wonderful energy and she did a beautiful job of bring my creative vision to life. We used fleur-de-lis motifs to symbolize the city of Paris, where Pankaj and I got engaged, and wave patterns to symbolize Santa Barbara. In the end, Vaish captured our love story beautifully through her art. I wore a crimson colored silk slip-dress and an off the shoulder blush cashmere cropped sweater. I paired it with mother’s vintage pearl and diamond necklace and earrings. The hair and makeup were natural.

Welcome dinner and Mehendi Party on Thursday PM: The Welcome Dinner was on Thursday night. It was a fun, summery, bohemian inspired event that was held in a private, enclosed lawn space on the resort for our closest family and friends. The space was decorated with suspended, hanging lights and hundreds of candles and lanterns. We had one long dinner table, which was draped with block print textiles and mismatched china. Centerpieces featured florals with feathers in dusty tones, periwinkle, and pale blush interspersed with gold lanterns and wooden bowls of heaping nuts and fruit. A separate lounge area with polished ivory furniture paired with mismatched block printed pillows and Persian rugs was created for guests who wished to get their mehendi done. Dinner featured a farm-to-table family style menu, incorporating seasonal produce local to the region. Guests especially loved that Ronobir Lahiri played renditions of modern songs on his sitar, filling the air with beautiful and mystical sounds. Pankaj wore a draped, mousepeach colored jersey kurta, with silk churidar style pants. He paired it with a mousepeach and silver brocade vest. All were from Shantanu & Nikhil. Accessories included an Omega watch, which was an engagement gift to him from my parents, and Grecian-style sandals by Joy. I wore a custom JADE by Monica and Karishma organza wrap blouse with a matching netted ivory and nude lehenga skirt. I paired it with champagne wedges and a Whiting & Davis silver clutch. Jewelry included Tiffany & Co gold leaf, pearl, and white diamond earrings and necklace. I paired this with my grandmother’s vintage gold and pearl bangles.

Wedding Ceremony on Saturday AM: The wedding ceremony was on Saturday morning, on a lawn overlooking the ocean. The celebrations commenced with a baraat procession around the resort property, which led into the wedding ceremony. Upon arrival to the ceremony, guests were greeted with rose water lemonade. The Hindu ceremony took place under an 18 foot mandap made of a light mango wood. Overgrown blooms in shades of deep red, fuchsia, aubergine, blush pink, and cream were wrapped around the mandap, giving the appearance that they had been there for years. The stage was covered in layered rugs in the same color palette. The ceremony was adapted to include our personal vows and ended with a kiss. Following this, guests enjoyed brunch overlooking the ocean. Pankaj wore an ivory sherwani from Sabyasachi, paired with a matching ivory raw silk kurta and churidar pants. In keeping with the tradition of his family, he wore an ivory silk safa tied in a traditional Rajasthani style. He paired it with ivory suede loafers from Joy, a vintage emerald kalgi brooch, and an emerald necklace. He looked so handsome! Originally, for my wedding day, I wanted to be a non-traditional Indian bride and wear a muted palette. However, as the setting of the ceremony was finalized, we realized that a more vibrant color would be more striking with the blue sky and ocean as our backdrop. I ultimately decided to wear a red and gold lehenga from one of my favorite designers, Sabyasachi. It was traditionally inspired, but with a modern feel – a perfect representation of who I am as a person. The blouse had a sweetheart neckline and the chiffon dupattas had playful gold polka-dots. The all-over golden embroidery featured an intricate paisley pattern. I paired it with gold wedges. My mom and I made a special trip to Hyderabad, the city in India where she was raised, to pick out my wedding jewelry. I ultimately decided on a set from Kishandas & Co, a heritage jeweler in Hyderabad. I wore a maang tikka headpiece, earrings, collar choker/necklace, and bangles featuring raw, uncut diamonds, emeralds, and pearls in yellow gold. It was exquisite and complemented the lehenga perfectly. The whole experience of picking it out with my Mom was a memory I will treasure forever. Bridesmaids wore couture saris designed by me, in collaboration with Megha Rao of holiCHIC. Groomsmen wore bespoke raw silk kurta-churidar sets arranged by Mallika Oberoi, an upcoming Mumbai-based designer. She was incredibly resourceful for our wedding outfit preparations!

Reception on Saturday PM: The reception was held later that evening. This was a formal affair with women in summery gowns and men in summer suits. We wanted it to feel like an intimate dinner party with 250 of our closest friends and family –it was romantic and elegant. Cocktail hour was held at sunset, on a bluff overlooking the ocean. Grey tarnished bars were donned with saturated blooms repurposed from the ceremony. Guests were greeted with custom cocktails and treated to sounds from Ybarra, a local Spanish guitarist. Guests were then escored to the Bacara ballroom, which was draped with a soft grey velvet. Half of the tables were light wood, and the other half were linened with a luxurious textured linen in shades of cream. We used a combination of cream velvet, rose velvet, and X backed wooded chairs. The tabletop featured gold leaf china with gold flatware and classic glassware. Centerpieces featured blooms in shades of lavender, blush, and aubergine. Blush and grey taper candles were placed in gold holders, with tealights in rose colored glass votives. We especially loved the chandelier with overgrown green foliage and twinkle lights, and the custom leaf-printed gobo projection over the dance floor. The rest of the room was filled with potted plants and trees, in keeping with my vision of bringing the outdoors in. One of the most special memories was our first dance, which was to “La Vie en Rose.” Anthony Ybarra, a local Spanish guitarist, was kind enough to play this for us. Pankaj and I had spent countless hours with our choreographer, practicing every turn and twirl. But, in that moment, nothing else mattered – it was just the two of us, husband and wife for the first time. This was followed by sentimental toasts from our parents, our siblings, and our closest friends. Shortly thereafter, guests jumped on the dance floor and didn’t stop partying until 2 am! The afterparty consisted of guests wrapped in blankets, under the stars, enjoying late-night snacks. It will be a night to be remembered for years to come! Pankaj worked closely with the Executive Chef at Bacara to develop a custom-plated Indian-inspired menu using local ingredients. Our triple-berry wedding cake was brought in from Sweet Lady Jane, one of our favorite LA bakeries. Pankaj wore a made-to-measure tuxedo from Tom Ford and woven leather shoes from Lanvin. He paired it with his Omega watch, and his David Yurman black diamond wedding band. I wanted to wear a soft pastel shade to complete the romantic feel of the event, and a modern silhouette that would contrast with my previous looks. In the end, I wore a custom blush version of the Sunset Gown by Naeem Khan. It was so special to be able to visit his atelier in New York and work with the team on this special dress. It featured a deep cowl neck at the back, and intricate crystal beading that shimmered under the candlelight. I paired it with a custom a yellow diamond bracelet, cocktail ring, and earrings. Shoes were from the French designer Jonak, and sourced from their store just steps away from where we got engaged in Paris. Clutch was from Inge Christopher.

For us, the most special parts were: -Milni: This is the Sanskrit word for “meeting” and is an opportunity for the family of the bride and groom to welcome each other. Our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, and elders greeted each other, exchanging smiles and garlands of roses. It was really special to see their willingness to embrace one another.

-Vows: Somehow, in the all the last-minute preparations leading up to the weekend, I had forgotten to write my vows. I remember well staying up late to write them on the night before our wedding. Once I put the pen to paper, though, the thoughts flowed freely. It was very special to be able to share these promises to one another, in front of our friends and family.

What about your venue made it “the” place: Pankaj and I had always fancied a destination wedding. We really wanted to create something special and memorable for our guests, who would be flying in from all over the world. We explored several destinations, but ultimately kept coming back to Santa Barbara. We have a long-standing tradition of visiting every year: it’s stunning and picturesque, but also feels familiar and intimate. It’s one of our favorite places, and we wanted our family and friends to fall in love with it just as we did many years ago.

What flowers were used in your bouquet: The bouquet featured blooms in shades of fuchsia, raspberry, burgundy, nude, and pale blush. Holly, our florist, affixed lockets containing photos of each of my late grandparents on their wedding days at the base of the bouquet. This was a really special way to include them in the festivities.

What from your wedding was DIY: One of the most fun aspects of wedding planning was preparing for the Sangeet dances. We had a joint dance for Pankaj and I, a bridesmaid dance, a groomsmen dance, and then one huge group dance.

We hired a local choreographer, Ana Perales of Get Amped Entertainment, to help us create Western choreography to several of our favorite Bollywood songs. Most of our bridal party didn’t have dance backgrounds, so we were really humbled by everyone’s willingness to participate. It was endearing to see how focused and eager they were to master the moves! The whole process brought us much closer together as friends.

Most memorable moment from the day: One of my favorite memories was our first look, which took place on a private bluff overlooking the ocean. The clouds were clearing, and the sun was breaking through; there was something so beautiful about it. At the time, it felt like some sort of blessing. In that moment, there was a rush of emotions. I’ll never forget the look in Pankaj’s eyes – we couldn’t hold back our tears of love and joy. We had both been dreaming about the day for so long. Now, in hindsight, we never could have anticipated how that moment would change our level of commitment to one another and solidify us as a team, ready to take on the adventures of life ahead, hand in hand. Another really special moment was the Father Daughter/ Mother Son Dance during the Reception. Pankaj and I wanted to recognize the special role our parents have played in our lives. Without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today. In an effort to acknowledge them for that, we did a Father-Daughter/ Mother-Son Dance. While the dance itself was space, the preparation for it was arguable more memorable. We took two joint dance classes at the Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Santa Barbara during the week leading up to the wedding. There were lots of smiles and laughter (and crushed toes)!

How long it took you to plan & the biggest hurdle you overcame: We planned our wedding over the course of a year and a half. Pankaj and I are both physicians, and our unpredictable work schedules would have made it hard to plan any quicker. For us, it was just the right amount of time to be thoughtful about our decisions and mindful of the guest experience. The biggest hurdle was learning to reconcile our differences of opinion. In the end, we compromised and our weekend really was the best reflection of both of us. We are both very proud of what we accompanied. I am in tears every time I look thought our photos and watch our highlight film! I believe that planning a wedding represents the first of many challenges in life, and it’s important to remember that things won’t always go as planned. That’s OK. Focus on what is most important: the commitment to love each other unconditionally and to prioritize each other above all else. Stay positive and forward-thinking. Having all of your loved ones in the same place to celebrate one of the most special moments in your life is priceless. Other advise would be to put yourself in the shoes of the guests. They have come long and far to celebrate this day with you. How can you make the experience enjoyable and seamless for them? When planning your bridal looks, start as soon as you can. It takes a lot of time to produce, ship, and alter these garments. And, on top of that, you need accessories for multiple outfits. Decide early and order well in advance! Meet in person with key professionals that will be with you throughout the weekend. You want to make sure that you are surrounded by the right kind of positive energy during that time. When it came to assembling the rest of our team (photography, videography, makeup artist, priest), we were very discerning. I had a particular vision of how I wanted things to look and be captured, so I spent a lot of time researching, meeting with, and selecting the right people to make it happen. They all did a wonderful job.

The post MEGHNA + PANKAJ // Santa Barbara Wedding Photography by Lauren & Abby Ross appeared first on South Asian Bride Magazine.

2 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

1211

Art: When was the last time you painted something? I don’t remember; maybe about a few weeks before the breakup. I haven’t really been into painting since, but now that I’m over it I should probably dabble in it again soon.

Adventure: When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? Last Sunday! Watched the Sowoozoo show with Angela and Hans. We set up a huge tent at the rooftop and had fairy lights all around and so much beer and soju and so. much. food. She and Hans ended up bringing most of the food we got home. It really felt like throwing a party with a million other people and it was SO so ridiculously fucking fun.

Allergies: What is one thing that you are allergic to? Slightly allergic to grass.

Answers: What is one question you would like an answer to? If I’ll ever have a family of my own.

Age: What has been your favorite age so far? Hmm, maybe 16. 23 has also been a blast so far; I hope it stays the same.

What month is your birthday? April.

Have you ever played house inside a big box? Possibly as a kid. It doesn’t stick out in my memory though.

Are you boisterous? I can, especially if I feel enthusiastic about the situation.

Have you ever dated a bad boy? Nope.

Name one thing you like that is blue: The ocean. Not being in it, but being near it at the beach. < Ooh same.

Cinnamon--yay or nay? Yay, I guess. As long as it’s not excessive.

Chocolate: do you love it? I like chocolate-flavored things. Chocolate bars themselves not so much.

Name one favorite type of candy. Gummy bears or worms.

Children: Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I only ever ‘babysat’ my much younger cousins; and when I did that more than a decade ago I just enjoyed playing games and toys with them since I too had been a kid who just had to babysit them.

Carefree: Are you carefree? I know how to let go when I want to, but I think most of the time I prefer to be careful and cautious about most things.

When was the last time you danced like no one was watching? LOL last Sunday when I drank too much and danced to Boy With Luv, and apparently Angela got it on tape as well. I haven’t checked the video yet and probably never will.

Do you daydream? Quite a lot, yeah.

Dreams: What is one of your dreams? To learn how to cook is one, hahahaha.

What is one thing you are currently dreading? We have an event tomorrow and my team is going to have to host it, so I’ll have to go over my script tonight so that I don’t end up sputtering and stuttering.

Name something delicious. Brownies!

Would you ride an elephant if given the opportunity? I have before. I’d do it again but make sure it’s done in an ethical environment.

Do you live life on the edge? Nah. I mean I’m bad at saving and VERY GOOD at spending my money, but that’s probably the most reckless I’ll ever get. Playing safe might as well be my middle name.

Name something you like to eat: French fries.

Do you believe in everlasting life? No.

Name something that comes easy to you. Continued from sometime this week, idek when. Anything that has to do with my reflexes. I can respond pretty quickly.

Name a fragrance you like. I like fruity, summery scents, for one.

Are you a free spirit? Eh, not so much.

Are you fickle? I wouldn’t say so.

Are you hiding your feelings from someone? Nope.

Name one flavor you like. Cookies and cream.

Are you gentle? This is too vague for me to answer.

Are you generous? I feel like I can say that, yeah.

Name something green. Eyes can be green.

Name a famous giant. My mom was watching something recently about a wrestler named Andre the Giant. He really was. < That’s a good answer :D I’ll just borrow it lol.

Are you a girl? Yessss.

Are you generally a happy person? I think more so these days, yeah!

Do you honor the holiness of the day? Idk what this means but if it’s supposed to be related to religion, I don’t really practice.

Do you believe in Heaven? Not the way the Bible describes it but the idea of reuniting with my loved ones when I die is pretty comforting, if that’s what ‘heaven’ is supposed to be, if it exists.

Name one thing you are hoping for. I’d like to be able to go to concerts again soon.

Name one thing you hate. That weekends are only two days long.

Imagination: Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you were younger. Katrina. Issues: Name one magazine you subscribe to, if there is any. I never did that.

Internet: Name one website you visit often. These days, Facebook.

Itinerary: List one place you would like to visit. Malta.

Interest: Name one thing that interests you. Cooking.

Are you joyful? Again, I think I am generally happier these days so yeah.

When was the last time you were filled with joy? Last Thursday when I finally got the BTS Meal from McDonald’s, lollllll.

Can you jump high? As a kid, yeah. We had a childhood garter game that kind of made it a requirement for you to be good at jumping, so that served as practice for me. Idk if I’m still as good, though.

Name one girl's name that starts with a J that you like. Julia.

Name one boy's name that starts with a J that you like. Jacob.

Have you ever been kissed? Sure.

Have you ever feared that you would be killed? Yup.

Are you kind? I wanna think so, but idk. This is a question you’ll have to ask other people about, not for me to answer for myself.

Who is your kindred spirit? Angela.

Name one thing you liked as a kid. Chewing gum.

Do you love someone? My close friends.

Do you live out loud? I try to make the most out of everything life hands me and enjoy life as long as I can, if that’s what you’re asking.

Do you read food labels? Only when I’m bored and have nothing to do at the dining table. I never read it to actually know the nutritional value of what I’m eating.

Name something local that you like. Balut.

List one thing you like to do at the lake. I don’t think I’ve even been at a lake before...I’ve seen ones, but haven’t been up close.

Do you like...

monkeys: Sure.

music: More so these days.

musicals: I never liked them.

mansions: I mean...I guess? I love house tours so if I can get to go around a big ass mansion I feel like I’d have a good time.

miracles: Not so sure I believe in those.

Do you want something....

new: I’m well aware that I can be quite materialistic, so yeah I’m always wanting something new.

nice: Too vague.

neat: Vague again.

never-before-seen: As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, sure.

nature-inspired: Idk.

How old are you? 23.

What is the last great opportunity you missed? Erm...my 20s? Because of Covid? if it counts lol.

Name one thing you like that's orange (besides oranges). I don’t like oranges, but I do like Hayley Williams’ Riot! era orange hair.

Are you open? In surveys I definitely am. < Agreed.

Name something odd. Can’t really think of any at the moment.

Are you...

patient: Too much for my own good.

perky: With the right people, yeah.

pale: Far from it. I live in a place with sunny weather all year round.

peaceful: For the most part but I can provoke people if the need be.

passionate: Not always, but sure it shows up occasionally.

Do you own a...

quilt

quail

queen-size bed

quill pen

book of questions ^ I don’t have any of those things.

Do you like to...

run

rave

riddle

rhyme

rap: If I memorize a verse/song, then yes.

Are you ever...

shy

sensitive

secretive

sure

stable

Are you...

ticklish

trouble

tall

thankful

tactful

Have you ever...

ridden a unicyle

used an umbrella

visited an uncle

been undecided

played a ukelele

Do you own a...

violin

vehicle

violet dress

vampire cape

veil for a wedding dress

What is something you wish for? Longer weekends.

Wonder: When was the last time you opened your eyes in wonder? I guess this morning? When I realized it was finally the weekend and I could stay in bed and relax and sleep in if I wanted.

Name five words you like. Let’s just go with poignant, which is what I always answer. I don’t feel like thinking of four other words.

What is something you wonder? What my own place would look like.

Name someone who thinks you are worthless. I hope there isn’t anyone; but my mom did make me feel like this for a long time. Either she’s stopped it or I’ve grown completely immune to it – I can’t really tell the difference.

Have you ever...

played a xylophone

had an x-ray

enjoyed exercise

had excision surgery

been excluded

Are you young? I think 23 is still quite young, yeah.

Are you youthful? Idk lol my stress level these days makes me feel like I’m 35.

Did you have a big yard growing up? No.

What did you do yesterday? Had what was probably my busiest day at work yet.

Do you like yams? I mean I like ube cheesecake, but that’s as far as I’ll go when it comes to yam.

Zeal: What are you passionate about? My work, to an extent.

Zing: Do you like raspberry lemonade? I’ve never tried it. I think.

What's your favorite zoo animal? I don’t go to zoos.

Do you own anything from Zales? No and idk what that is.

List a name that starts with a Z. Zia.

#survey #surveys

0 notes

sockparade · 5 years ago

Text

homeschool

I read somewhere that enneagram 7′s tend to become perfectionists when they are stressed. I guess that’s me with homeschooling the kids. I’ve been kind of throwing myself into it. Not in a panicky way but in a strangely enthusiastic and satisfying way? I’ve surprised myself with how gratifying it has been to teach my kids things. I did not really expect this to happen! I mean, I’ve always been excited about when they get to middle school and I can assign weird projects and essays. But they are still so little, 4 and 6. The upside is that their progress is super tangible and immediate at this age.

So yeah, I’m intermittently falling apart in my interior life these days but the homeschooling and homemaking is going really well. It’s maybe a good thing for me to be really purposeful from 9-5.

Oh! Also, I really don’t like schedules! I know it’s really helpful for some parents but I feel so restricted by one and hate the idea of having to check the clock to keep track of time if I don’t have to. Or to be constantly running late because of an arbitrary schedule that I made? Like why set yourself up for that? Haha anyway. I usually have a list of things I want to do for the day and a loose order but I’m often swapping things around depending on my mood and the kids’ attention span.

It’s technically Spring Break here so instead of the usual “work” I’ve been having them do the past two weeks I’m doing themed days instead and I’m trying to limit time sitting at a desk if I can.

Monday - Performing Arts

Tuesday - Technology/Engineering

Wednesday - Cooking & AsAm History/Activism

Thursday - Body/Spirit

Friday - Visual Arts

I’m really happy with how today (Performing Arts) turned out and I wanted to share it with you.

Write a poem and read it out loud. I warmed them up to thinking about poetry by reading a few funny poems from Shel Silverstein’s Where the Sidewalk Ends. I used “My Color Poem” as a template for the kids to write their own poems. I didn’t like the layout/fonts of the versions I saw on Pinterest so I made a quick version in .doc format. Lots of writing/spelling practice, creativity, and engaging the imaginary senses. My 6 year old finished pretty quickly so I had him copy the poem onto a clean sheet of paper and illustrate each line.

Learn a tiktok dance. My 4 year old is a great dancer but has a hard time learning choreographed dances from videos so after watching several renegade tutorials, we opted for a much easier hip hop dance tutorial video: Easy Kids Choreography - (Hip Hop Dance Tutorial AGES 4+) | MihranTV

Drum circle. We gathered random “musical instruments” around the house (electronic drumset, tambourine, cardboard box and stick, baby xylophone). First we took turns creating a beat and then seeing if everyone could hear and mimic the beat. Then we took turns starting a beat, then adding to the beat one by one until we were all playing together.

Put on a short skit. This was really challenging for the kids but I’m so proud of them for sticking to it and doing it! I first read this skit to them several times. (I stopped 15 lines into the skit so it wouldn’t be too long.) You could probably write your own, it doesn’t have to be fancy or anything. I was just too lazy to think up my own story. After reading the skit 3-4 times, I then assigned them roles and had them repeat after me for their lines. We did that twice. Then I had them try to say the lines on their own and add acting into it. I prompted a lot of their lines. Then I read the skit to them two more times. Then they rehearsed it 3-4 more times with me feeding lines as needed. Then they performed it and I recorded a video! Having the video recording made it feel like there was an audience which is great because both of my kids struggle with stage fright.

Improv games. This website has a list of really fun improv games that are great for kids. They are a great way to be creative in a different way and to just be silly together. The ones we did today were: “What Happened Next?” and “Yes, Let’s______! Both were a total hit.

Memorize a poem. What a lost art! Memorizing poems and reciting them? I read advice online that said it’s better if they get to choose the poem they’re memorizing. We first spent some time reading more Shel Silverstein poems. They decided they liked “Boa Constrictor” the best so we worked on memorizing it. I tried to vary my tones consistently and add some hand motions so that it’d be easier to remember. I thought this might be too challenging of a task for them but they really got into it. I also recorded their “final performance” as a video.

Play “pictionary”. Pretty self explanatory here. Although, it gets pretty repetitive when all the drawings are superheroes so we did several rounds where they had to draw a book that they liked that we’ve read together as a family and that was kind of amazing. My four year old tried to draw “Last Stop on Market Street”! It was so sweet and included a rainbow.

Sing some “repeat-after-me” songs on Go Noodle. Felt great to end the day singing these songs as loud as we could! Kids’ current faves are “Boom Chicka Boom” and “Great Big Moose”.

#lesson plans #homeschool #poetry #improv for kids #spring break #activities for kids

0 notes

wildflowerhowell · 7 years ago

Text

I Found, chapter 1

Dan Howell and Phil Lester hate each other, and everyone at the Ida Gatley school of dance knows it. So what happens when the two are paired together to choreograph and perform a duet at England's most renowned contemporary dance competition?

word count (in total): 22,139

chapters: 12

genre: fluff and angst

tw: none

read on ao3

all chapters

If there’s one thing everyone at the Ida Gatley School of Dance knows about Dan Howell, it’s that he hates Phil Lester. Even though they attend the same studio, the two boys are constantly competing. There isn’t a day where they aren’t trying to beat each other’s highest number of alesecones in a row, or seeing who could wring the most praise out of whichever instructor was choreographing them. They both have to spend multiple several hours almost every day with the person they hate most, and that doesn’t help calm their hatred for each other. In fact, the small-scale battles seem to increase in harshness every time Dan and Phil set foot onto the studio floor.

It was 7:23 on a Thursday night, meaning that Dan’s contemporary class, taught by Ida Gatley herself, was set to begin soon. (Ida personally selects the best dancers in her studio to be a part of her contemporary class. IGSD takes pride in the numerous awards they’ve won for their astonishing performance in contemporary, and she wasn't planning on letting her reputation be swept down the drain by a few less-than-perfect dancers. Her choice to allow both Dan and Phil to be a part of this class was not an easy one to make, but she knew that their rivalry would encourage them both to do their absolute best. Ida’s choice had proven to be effective.)

Dan fiddled around on his phone for a few minutes, opening Tumblr and reblogging a gif of a woman doing a beautifully over-extended grand jete, writing “ugh! goals” in the tags, even though his grand jetes looked practically identical to hers. After scrolling through his dash for several more minutes, he closed the app and checked the time. 7:32. Dan thought this was odd, as Ida never started class behind schedule. He took a step closer to a small window with a view into the room that his contemporary class was held in and peeked inside to see Ida chatting with none other than Phil Lester. Of fucking course, Dan thought to himself, He’s making conversation just so that Ida will like him more. That’s just the type of thing that asshole would do.

Dan then saw Ida look up at the clock and realize that she’d gotten so caught up in talking with Phil, she hadn’t started class on time. He watched as she scolded Phil for not notifying her that 7:30 had already passed, and when he saw the guilt in Phil’s eyes, he chuckled softly to himself. The older boy looked up at the window and glared at Dan, who smirked and thought proudly to himself, another victory to yours truly.

Ida rushed to open the door and as Dan and the other seven dancers filed into the room, she apologized for the delay in an annoyed tone of voice. The black haired boy blushed with embarrassment and looked downward to avoid eye contact with anyone. “Right,” Ida hurried around, turning certain lights on and other lights off, “I’ll give you ten minutes to warm up and stretch on your own while I talk to you all about something.” A few people glanced around at each other, wondering what their choreographer was going on about. Dan went into his right splits as the owner of the studio began talking about whatever was so important.

“As you all know,” Ida was sitting on a bench in the front right corner of the room, her hands folded over her crossed legs, “Grasp, the annual contemporary dance competition that’s held at the Mark Jeffrey Theater in Brighton, is coming up in a month and a half. This competition is very exclusive and only the best dancers are invited to perform. Yesterday as I was checking my email I received a letter from the theater telling me that IGSD is invited to compete!”

Dan’s jaw dropped in awe as he heard a few ‘oh my god’s and a couple ‘that’s incredible!’s. He looked around at all the smiling faces and accidentally made eye contact with Phil. They both immediately turned their heads in separate directions. There’s no way in hell that they’d ever share a moment of joy with each other.

“Settle down, settle down,” Ida coaxed, a smile plastered to her face, “So. The theme of this year’s competition is ‘duets’, meaning that sadly, only two of you will get to compete.”

Dan looked around once again but instead of seeing cheery, excited faces he saw disappointed, confused looks. Dan didn’t want to brag, but he felt extremely confident that he’d be one of the two dancers to compete. He’d won multiple contemporary awards for this studio before, and Ida seemed to watch him the most in class, barely ever correcting him whereas she’d give everybody else multiple things to work on. He wondered who the other person would be. He hoped it would be Indie, mainly because they’d done a duet together a few years ago. But maybe it would be Alex? He’s a great dancer too.

Ida kept talking, despite many of her students mumbling under their breath about how unfair this was. “You’re all phenomenal dancers, so to choose who will be competing, we’ll have a little competition of our own. I’ll teach a short dance; when you’ve learned it you’ll perform it as a solo for the class. The two people that perform it the best will compete at Grasp!”

Dan was so ready for this. He loved performing, whether it was in front of 1,000 people or 10 people. And if he was given the opportunity to rub his talent in Phil’s face, he’d gladly take it.

The class spent the next hour or so learning the dance. Dan wasn’t going to lie, it was one of the hardest, most intricate dances that he had ever learned. Its quick, precise movements made the occasional slower (but still quite fast) parts feel like he’d just run a marathon without ever slowing down and he was finally able to stop. Dan could tell that everyone else felt the same about the dance, as they were sweating and constantly eyeing their water bottles. When Ida was confident that everyone had learned and memorized the dance sufficiently enough to do their solo, she allowed the dancers to get water and review the dance for ten minutes. Then it was time to perform.

Julie went first. Her solo went fairly well (it actually went incredibly well, for fuck’s sake. Dan was just so used to being around award-winning dancers that even the best didn’t faze him). Fawn went next, her dancing just as good as Julie’s. After that was Arden, then Oliver, then Blair. When Blair finished his solo with the ending pose of a z-split, his right arm planted softly on the floor and his head positioned to look up at his right hand that was reaching for the tiled ceiling, there was a light round of applause. Dan clapped a bit and then raised his hand to signify that he wanted to go next.

As Dan walked to the center of the room he could feel Ida’s eyes resting intently on him. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, actually. But out of every dancer in that room, he was the most aware of Phil. God, why did he have to stare at Dan all the damn time? It kind of freaked him out sometimes, the amount of time that Phil spent looking, glaring, at him.

Dan cut off his thoughts about Phil and diverted his attention to his feet, which weren’t in the right beginning placement, a wide second position. Fuck. As he quickly corrected himself, he heard Phil snicker quietly. Asshole. He looked over at Ida who found the right spot in the music, Exxus by Glass Animals, and pressed play.

The song played for a couple of eight-counts until it was time for Dan to start dancing. When he did, his movements were quick but they flowed together seamlessly. He did elegant turning stags and mesmerising double illusions and the difficulty of the dance seemed to melt away as the choreography progressed. When he did a calypso and rolled into the final pose, he heard the whole class, including Ida, erupt into an ovation. Even Phil was clapping, though it was still the same amount of applause that he gave everyone else. Dan couldn’t help but fill with pride as he stood up. He had proved that he wasn’t in this class for nothing.

When no one wanted to perform after Dan, Ida called on Phil. As the two boys passed each other when heading to their designated places in the room; Dan on a bench in front of the mirrors and Phil in the center of the floor, they exchanged a glance that was filled with nothing short of hatred. Dan could tell that Phil didn’t want to let him have this. Well too fucking bad, the brown-eyed boy thought, I’m going to compete at Grasp. He took a seat and Ida started the music again.

Dan wasn’t looking into the mirror during his solo. But judging from the fact that the amount of applause awarded to him was much greater than any of the previous dancer’s amounts, he did breathtakingly well. And it just so seemed that Phil Lester could possibly be doing as well as him. Phil’s muscular arms worked to make sure that every flick of the wrist was perfect. His legs allowed him to leap at an incredible height. He was- no, his dancing- was beautiful. Dan could do nothing but shake his head just ever so slightly as the same applause that was given to him was given to Phil. Well, shit, Dan thought.

Indie and Alex were the last two to do their solos, but it wouldn’t have mattered if they’d gone or not. It was already clear who was competing. No, don’t say that, Dan consoled himself, Just because everyone liked Phil’s solo doesn’t mean Ida did. You have no idea who’s gonna get to compete.

At 8:57, when class was almost over, Ida spoke after a long silence of looking at the notes that she had taken during the solos. “When you come back to class next week, I’ll be announcing who will be competing at Grasp. In the meantime, please don’t stress out about this. You all did wonderfully. Have a good rest of your week!”

Dan gathered his things (a water bottle that was now empty, two knee pads, his phone, his keys, and his bag that held all of the shoes and extra clothes that he’d need for different classes), and headed out a door that was bordered by twinkling fairy lights. When he was on his way to his car, a black 2007 Honda Civic that was once his mom’s, he heard a familiar voice call out behind him. “Good job, Howell.” Dan turned around to see Phil standing on the pavement near the studio, his barely-visible body lit by only a few dim streetlights. He’s not trying to be nice, Dan thought, He’s just trying to intimidate you. The younger boy left Phil standing there without a reply, and as he started to drive off, he looked in his rearview mirror to see that Phil hadn’t moved from his spot by the studio door.

#here it is finally!!!!#phanfic #phanfiction #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #phan #phandom

28 notes · View notes

howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave · 8 years ago

Text

|T h e O n e| Part 1

Overall Summary: Finally, they actually plan on having a female character join the supernatural cast. A long term female is something they haven’t really experienced before. But here you are, down to earth and prepared.

Chapter Summary: Finally, your agent calls you back! You got the gig! You did it. Finally after a week of waiting you can break into your happy dance and call your parents. You finally were on the official cast member list. Now, just to meet the guys you have heard tons of hype about. Off to Vancouver you go!

Warnings; None in this Chapter?

Word Count : 1583

~ Master List ~

“Y/n? Y/n??” You were in shock. The role you had been trying to get for the last two months. Countless flights to Vancouver and back to your home in Florida finally made up for something. “How does that sound?” Your agent was on the other line and patiently waiting. She was your best friend, biggest fan, and greatest supporter.

“Sorry…uhm repeat what you just said?” You wanted to make sure you heard her clearly.

“How does being the main female role on CW’s Supernatural sound? “ She said excitedly. You would’ve jumped out of your window if it wouldn’t have killed you.

You were that excited.

“Yes! Yes!!! Yes!!!” You jumped around your small apartment. You could hear your best friend laughing from the other side.

“Alright, alright. Settle down now.” She paused and calmed herself down. “I’ll send you an e-mail with details on Monday. I’d start packing a few things. They are getting ready to film the new season which is when you’ll be introduced. All I know is it’s gonna be in the second episode, but I thought it would be helpful to get to know the cast and crew, and sort out how the move before filming.”

You had agreed. You both exchanged good byes. Sleep did not come easy over the weekend. You mainly spent your time packing, making arrangements for when you were away. Asked a friend to water your cacti and other plants.

Monday came and there was still no e-mail from your agent. You figured they had changed their minds about casting you. You weren’t that big. Played a few small roles in a few TV shows. The only thing you were really known for was your role in Grey’s Anatomy. Still, you weren’t too well known. Ding you practically jumped over your couch to grab your laptop. The ding, meant an e-mail had come through.

Hey y/n/n,

Sorry I got this out so late, preparing for the little one has been a lot harder on me than expected. I talked to Robert, he agrees with you meeting the cast before you shoot for the first time with them. So I booked a flight for Wednesday, you ready?

I booked a room for you at the Fairmount Hotel, just give the front desk your name. They’ll have your room, a rental car, and a pool pass ready for you. I booked it for about a month, all expenses paid. Please do not go wild with the food. Kidding! I added the script as an attachment. Be sure to read through and memorize as

You’ll meet the crew and cast on Thursday and watch them film on Friday and throughout the weekend.

Have Fun! We are so proud of you!!

- Angela

It was happening, this was happening. You were freaking out.

___________

Wednesday came, and you barely had time to comprehend this was all happening. Saying your goodbyes and boarding the plane was all a blur and you couldn’t see much into the future either. Everything was moving so fast. You couldn’t even stay seated in your seat for more than thirty minutes. You probably had annoyed both passenger and staff. “Ma’am, you have to stay seated.” You must’ve heard that twenty times. The only reason you sat down still, was because the plane was landing.

“Oh honey, just breathe.” The old woman beside you reassured you.

Yeah, grandma. Just “breathe” do you know the stress I am under?? The stress and excitement is not good for my anxiety and the turbulence this plane has been through was not helping grandma.

________

You strolled into the Fairmount hotel. You practically gasped the air out of the lobby. It was gorgeous. Your inner child wanted to drop the suitcase and jump around, dance with the guest to a song you just created.

But no, you stayed still, calmed yourself, and walked up to the counter. “Uhm, Y/n/l/n” You gently tapped your bitten nails on the marble gently. Your mind went instantly into a haze. What would meeting the cast be like? Do they support new comers? New casts? Would the whole supernatural family support you?

“Ma’am..? Room 45.” The young man handed you a key card, and gave you a gentle smile. You pulled your head out of your thoughts and thanked him before heading to the elevators. You swiped your card and stepped inside. The typical-cliché elevator rang into your ears. “Hold the door!” A man yelled from the lobby, involuntarily you placed your foot before the elevator door, stopping it from closing any further. The man entered the elevator, pulling his hat off his head. Leaving it slightly messed.

“Thanks, by the way. ” He finally broke the silence. He held his hat nervously. You swore you tried to reply – but your mouth was dry and your voice was silent. You weren’t that great with strangers. The elevator seemed to go up slower and slower, and slower. “You aren’t gonna scream, are you?” He tried to joke lightly. It caused a small giggle to escape and a shake from your head.

“No…I promise” You finally looked up to him and smiled. “Sorry, I’ve just had a long day…and the next few days are gonna be long-“ Holy shit, this was Jensen Ackles – himself. In the flesh, the hair, the freckles, everything. This was the man you would be working with in just forty-eight hours. “I uhm..” Saved by the bell – literally. The elevator dinged and you practically jumped out before either of you could say anything.

“Whew.” You sighed and kicked your sneakers off, and plopped on the bed. You didn’t even bother to remove the hair tie from your hair or any of your clothes. You had a long day, you embarrassed yourself in front of your soon-to-be co-star.

______________

“Hey, you must be y/n?” Robert greeted you with a handshake and a smile. You replied with a soft smile and a nod.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You took a deep breath. Listening carefully to the boss, your boss.

He walked you around the whole place. You went through the land of trailers, the beauty room, the lights department, met the camera crew. Everything was so surreal. “And, it’s lunch time now, a perfect time to meet the co-stars. Unfortunately I have a few things to do so I can’t join y’all right now. “ He patted your back “Welcome to the family kiddo” He smiled and left. Leaving you starving, and the smell of barbecue didn’t help. You followed your nose and you were rewarded with a table laid out with barbecued chicken, salad, steaks, and beans. Along with various pops in a cooler.

You chose your choice of food, and you weren’t shy about it. You loved food, and there was no doubt about it. “Hey, I’m Jared. “ A tall man grabbed a water from the cooler just after you had grabbed your drink. You jumped slightly. The man was surely a moose and he scared you. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you” He chuckled and began to introduce himself.

“I’m y/n…sorry. I scare easy” You laughed and joined him at a picnic table. Talking about various things, such as family, roles, some of the house rules and other things. You were soon joined by Misha, who you had worked with before, and then the man from the elevator. Panic Mode Activated. You were instantly embarrassed by absolutely nothing. You hadn’t done anything – except maybe jump out of their like you were traumatized.

After a while, you felt suddenly at home. You didn’t feel the need to eat slower than them or take a sip of your drink in between bites. You felt, like you could eat like you would if you were alone – okay maybe a little bit slower and a lot less messy.

You watched as they worked in joy, they were certainly happy to be here. All of them. I mean of course towards the end Jensen did get a bit moody. But overall, everyone worked well with one another.

By the time to director called cuts for the final time, outside was dark and cool. You couldn’t believe that tomorrow you would be doing the exact same magic you had just experienced. You didn’t have a trailer yet, so you gathered the little bit you had brought with you and exchanged good byes with some of the crew you saw on the way out.

“Hey! Y/n! Wait up!” You heard the voice of Mr. Ackles call from behind you from a distance. You smiled to yourself. You stopped in your tracks and spun on your heels, turning to face him. “So... elevator girl…” He trailed off, blushing himself. “I’d like to catch a drink with you sometime…You know get to know who the newest cast member and stuff?”

“And stuff?” You raised your eyebrow. Silently you were praying he wasn’t like the boys at home, but on the other hand you didn’t really have time to focus on a relationship right now. Plus, if you started seeing a boy and your mother didn’t know? Boy, would she blow her stacks.

“Like, meeting, and getting to know you...” He babbled, rubbed the back of his head. “I didn’t mean any disrespect, I Swear. My mom raised me better than that.”

You started to walk away and smirked to yourself. “Pick me up at 7 Saturday Night?” You turned around and waited for him to give a subtle nod.

#the one #The One: Teaser #jensen ackles au #jared padalecki au #misha collins au #jensen x reader #jared x reader #misha x reader #j2m x reader #spn #supernatural #spn fic

80 notes · View notes

sarahinzhuhai-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Week 2: I can't think of a title

Friends, family, strangers, what’s poppin? Week 2 in 中国 has come to a close and it was a wild one. This blogging on Sunday thing is really great for my procrastination-loving heart, and really bad for actually remembering things, so bear with me. You might notice this is getting posted on Friday, and not Sunday. Well, that’s because of some ~~fun~~ circumstances that you can find out about in next weeks post! Sorry! // 周一（zhōuyī，Monday): Monday started off without a dictation, because 车老师 is a wonderful person who doesn’t believe in weekend homework. Class was, as usual, an information overload, but still fun. We played a new game in class (where people have a verb or noun on their head and you have to ask questions, etc to make them say the word or do the action). Another thing: in Chinese, there is a particle, “了”， that has always confused me (it has many different uses, and I’m not sure when to use it and when not to). So I decided to ask my 语伴. This turned into a conversation with 车老师, the TAs, other 语伴s and on Tuesday, another professor. The question asking went an extra half hour into lunch and then I ended up eating with 车老师， one of the TAs and my 语伴。 I didn’t leave my question asking behind in America, I guess. I was very tired all day because I was up so late blogging the night before 👀…oops. At the end of the day, instead of meeting with our 语伴s (yǔbàn，language partner) for 30 minutes, we met for community service. The project they have selected for us to do this year is to help raise awareness about and reduce plastic bag usage and waste, which is a huge problem in China. To give you some context, Zhuhai is considered one of the cleanest cities in China, but the beaches are riddled with trash. It’s shocking. The plan for our projects was, on Monday we would write a survey and have our 语伴s help us translate it, on Tuesday we would go out and survey people on campus, on Thursday we would plan out our "propaganda” campaign and later in the month we would go out and talk with the public and get people to pledge to change their actions (with the pledge varying with each groups different approach to the issue). My group is me, Richa, Zack and Garrett. Monday was pretty rough. I was really tired and irritable, and I felt like a lot of responsibility was falling on me but I felt that way because I wasn’t sharing responsibilities….anyways, Richa and I talked afterwards so we’re all good now. We finished using the questions and I took the bus home with Matthew after hitting up the supermarket with Matthew and Anthony. // My sister had four of her finals today, and she said they went well, so I went out to dinner to celebrate with my mom and sister. It was so, so good. Pork, goose, noodles, vegetables, fried rice, watermelon, guava...all delicious! It was my first time trying goose, and I have mixed but mostly positive feelings. // Afterwards, we went to 笑笑’s friends house. I got to meet the friend, her little 9mo brother, the mom, dad, and grandparents. I held the brother (who was SO CUTE and very fascinated by me), talked a little bit with the family, helped the mom translate a work email, got a tour of the house, ate lychees and gave my little sister and her friend a ballet lesson. It was so much fun, and definitely lifted my mood from earlier in the day. I walked home in high spirits. // 周二（zhōuèr，Tuesday): Tuesday was the 4th of July! I told my mom in the morning and she offered me a white rabbit candy, which I thought was pretty funny but thoughtful at the same time. Got the 了question figured out at the beginning of lunch (I’m so grateful that literally everyone involved in the program is so willing to help). After lunch, we played a version of Monday’s game with all verbs (it was sort of a mess, a lot of English was spoken, but we had a good time). Chris, BBC and Queen Isabel joined us for that–-in the end, it boiled down to people forcing Shayley to take a selfie with them. I was eliminated early in the game when I flashed a peace sign. // Community service was very interesting. It started off with Grace and Emily getting us all watermelon to celebrate the 4th, which was very thoughtful! Since we are still in the thick of monsoon season, the weather continues to alternate between rain so hard it could flash flood up to your ankles (this happened to my 语伴）and hours of sunshine. Consequently, we decided to survey people who were inside major buildings on campus rather than walking around. My group picked the library. Since only half of the 语伴s came to help with the day's activities, Outing and Chris had to help another group, so learned how to say “traitor" in order to tell Outing how betrayed I felt. // Surveying people was fun, but a challenge…we split our group in half, so Garrett, me and my 语伴 formed one team. We interviewed about 8 people (could have been 9 if the police officer had agreed), and unless we were asking the simpler questions, I couldn’t understand a lot of what they were saying…but I got the gist, and the gist was that most of them were aware of the problem and did some things to cut down on their waste (some more than others…one guy was just totally unaware), but often didn’t have convenient access to recycling services. This is definitely a problem I have run across these few weeks. That being said, we don’t have the means to change city infrastructure, so my group decided that our focus would be encouraging people to use reusable bags and bottles, cutting down the waste at the source (it’s common for people to use 1-2 plastic bottles a day here). // After community service concluded, we were originally planning on going to a Starbucks by the beach and seeing the lovers post office (a famous site here), but the rain cancelled those plans so we settled on KTV instead. Unfortunately, the canteen KTV was closed, so Chris took us to a KTV in the middle of nowhere (aka Huitong, I think) near the edge of campus. On our way there, Alec and Anthony blasted music out of the speaker they bought at Gongbei. The most memorable moment of the walk was dancing to YMCA on the median (and everywhere else tbh we listened to the song like 20 times) and getting filmed by a police officer who thought it was funny. Also practicing my angry Chinese and making a guy who walked by laugh. KTV was really fun--we sang lots of American songs (we belted out Party in the USA more than once) and had a blast even though the program didn’t appear to have any song from after 2010. There was no Lana del Rey, so BBC and I sang Adele instead. While I did enjoy myself, my fun was sort of ruined by the fact that I was in the middle of having what I would describe as not-quite-an-anxiety-attack-but-getting-there because of a dog that we passed that was in really, really bad shape. I won’t go into the details again but I’m constantly frustrated here by the low standard for animal care and the lack of humane societies, etc…I understand that it’s not a priority at the moment but that doesn’t make it any less saddening, frustrating, etc. Queen Isabel and several of my friends (shoutout to Grace, Lexi, Josh, Alec and BBC...y'all are the best) helped me through it and I still managed to enjoy the evening. I had a few McDonalds fries (which was concerning because I had told my parents I was going to eat a full dinner), and Chris helped me and Alec call a cab to get home. // Once I arrived home, my mom brought out some mussels (? Some sort of shell thing) and told me that I had to eat it right now or it would go bad. So we had mussels, apples, bread and milk. A very confusing dinner but very good nonetheless. My sister asked me if I wanted to watch a certain TV show and at first I didn’t know what she was talking about, but then I realized it’s actually a show I watch online in the States and got h y p e d // In the middle of the show, my mom yelled really loud and then my sister started yelling too. At first, I was really confused but I soon found out that my sister was one of three in four hundred to get 100% on her exams. Then I started yelling too. I understood a few things my dad said for the first time (which surprised BOTH of us) and generally had a good evening. My dad told me I should call my actual mom and dad every day, so I called my actual parents before bed and ended up staying up super late again. Oops (are you seeing a pattern here?). Anyways, it was a roller coaster of an evening but everything turned out alright! // 周三（zhōusān, Wednesday): Classes were alright as usual. We’ve started “learning” song lyrics during the after lunch class. Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention is that I found out two of the TAs (one of whom I was very intimidated by before) are big kpop fans! They played a song on Tuesday on the projector (车老师 commented that the only kpop group she knew was BIGBANG), which was already a bop, but on Wednesday I found out that Ruby and I are both major BTS fans (specifically, I described them as my favorite group on the planet and she agreed). I did one of the dances I learned for her (she filmed it 😂) and she then immediately added me on multiple social media platforms. You can make fun of me all you want, but Kpop has been the common interest that allowed me to bond with many people here (we’re talking 30-50% of all the Chinese people I have made friendships with). Anyways, after having a fun time in class (we also did calligraphy practice today), we headed to culture class. This week we learned 空竹（kōngzhú， aka Diabolo aka Chinese Yoyo). The class was the most fun after I accepted that I was going to do terribly and focused on having a good time and getting a solid grasp on the basics. My group was Garrett, Sydney, Abigale and Outing as our 语伴（so I stopped calling him traitor). By the end of class, I was definitely still in the bottom 3 but I could do several tricks. After class, Alec, Maya, Garrett and I went to McDonalds at the transfer station (which is waaayyy better than McDonalds in America) and got green tea soft serve. It was really good (especially knowing that, just like on America, McDs ice cream machine se are perpetually broken here), but Garrett said he would never order another matcha flavored thing in his life. Afterwards, we took the bus home together...Maya took the wrong bus. // Feeling content, I got home to an empty house. My mom came home briefly, and imagine my surprise when she pulled out two pieces of apple pie and offered me one. Oops, not a good day to have a gigantic ice cream after school (and a small one at lunch). So I had the pie, then she made dinner (I’m confused about the order too…) and left again. // I decided to give my friend 朱明亮 a call and we talked for the better part of an hour. It was so nice to actually be able to speak and understand Chinese…maybe it’s the accent in Guangdong or maybe I’m just bad at Chinese but I never know what people are saying and it’s incredibly frustrating (I especially can’t understand guys..maybe because of the lower register). While we talked, I practiced my left hand chopstick skills...we don't need to talk about how that went. After the conversation, I practiced piano for Saturday (more details on that in a sec), did my homework (sort of) and went to bed. // 周四（Zhōusì, Thursday): Thursday’s classes were hard. We covered a LOT of grammar points and it was a lot to take in. This whole week was a lot to take in in terms of course material…this class moves almost 3x the pace of my normal class at school. Since this weekend's cultural excursion would be a visit to Guangzhou, the TAs gave us a class on the history of Guangzhou and some cool places to visit there. Then they presented the stamp winners for the week. This week, stamps were kept in a public place, so I got a little more competitive. My efforts paid off, however, because I got that #1. // After class, it was time for community service again. My group wrote our campaign, Chris helped us create a slogan and we designed t-shirts. Since our group wasn’t focused the whole time and we talked a lot about what we were doing, we haven’t actually translated the elevator pitch to Chinese but that’s okay. Also, I definitely didn’t write the wrong character in the slogan on the back of the shirt...I don’t know what you’re talking about. Zack got w o k e about plastic pollution in China and our final slogan is: “笑笑改变，大有不同 - Cleaner Zhuhai, Brand New City” (Translation: “A small change can make a big difference"which is already apparently a phrase charged with environmental connotations according to Chris, so that’s good). After community service, Maya and I definitely didn’t go do ballet in a studio on campus. Nope. I definitely wasn’t instructed to keep that on the DL (which is equally fun to say in Chinese, as it turns out). Other things that definitely did not happen: 1) being super out of shape and barely being able to do a grande plié 2) Having a really awkward conversation when two university students who were actually supposed to be there came in to use the room. After not-dancing, Maya took the wrong bus so she could ride with me, and I headed home to practice piano, pack up for Guangzhou, and otherwise prepare. // 周五（zhōuwǔ，Friday）: On Friday morning, we met up at the hotel and took the bus to Guangzhou. I tried to sleep a bit on the way there, but the scenery outside was really cool (SO different from the US omg) and the kids sitting in the back of the bus were blasting music (YMCA made a comeback), but the music was good so I can’t complain. My favorite was when they played "Empire State of Mind” but sang “Guangzhou” every time Alicia Keys said New York. Our first stop was the American Consulate in Guangzhou. After getting through security, we entered the building and I immediately felt like I was in America again. Maybe it was the super strong AC. Maybe it was the bathrooms (which not only had the first western toilets I had seen in two weeks but TP, soap and paper towels. I literally did a celebratory dance. There were several witnesses). Maybe it was the diplomat who spoke with us’ southern accent. Or maybe it was the fact that technically we had returned to America (apparently the consulate is considered American territory? According to Anthony). Anyways, after speaking with a Foreign Service Officer about his job, the role of the US embassies in China and of the Guangzhou consulate in particular, we bid our farewells. Leaving the consulate and returning to daily life in China was a weird and unexpected shock to my system. I don’t know what happened inside that consulate but it was like a weird mindset shift. Anyways, soon enough I was back to normal. Our next stop was a restaurant called Panxi. This was, no exaggeration, the most amazing restaurant I’ve been to in my entire life. Not because of the food (although the food was good), but because of the building itself. We entered into a courtyard where there was a waterfall (not a baby one but like 14+ feet) flowing into a koi pond, lanterns hanging from the wooden roof over the walkways, and several pathways leading to different rooms where we could eat. Our room was not only overlooking a pond, but appeared to be over the pond. It was absolutely gorgeous, and I had a great time chatting with friends as we watched the monsoon rain pelt the surface of the water. We also watched construction take place on the building, and construction is terrifying here. They use bamboo scaffolding, and it seems really unsteady and no one uses harnesses, even if three stories high. I have seen this in both Zhuhai and Guangzhou and it is very impressive but very nervewracking. // After lunch, we went to two museums–the Thirteen Hongs museum and the Liwan museum. The former was a museum that talked about the history of the Thirteen Hongs, which were a group of businessmen/companies that were the only ones licensed to do business with foreign countries during the Qing dynasty (the last dynasty before the Republic of China). They did their trading out of Guangzhou, and the museum was full of items that were traded,old maps, information, paintings, everything you can imagine. Guangzhou has a history of combining East and West (because of the Thirteen Hongs situation, I think), and this manifested itself in very interesting ways. One of the most interesting things I saw at the museum (although everything was absolutely stunning; the intricacy and care that went into every product was overwhelming) was a shell carving that had been done by a Chinese artist of the Last Supper and other Biblical scenes. Guangzhou also has a much higher foreigner population than Zhuhai (I saw more there in two days than in my entire time in Zhuhai). The second museum, called the Liwan museum, was a replica of a typical Xiguan house, which were a group of people that often did business with/interacted with foreigners. As such, several architectural elements included Western components. That being said, a lot of the house was built with traditional Chinese beliefs (and some specific to Guangdong/Guangzhou, e.g. Things related to how words sound in Cantonese), which was very interesting. Afterwards, we were given time to explore this very pretty little area of town. Richa and I paired off and saw a shrine, traditional opera, passed by a beautiful lake (which had some boats underwater that were clearly there on purpose but for no apparent reason), several vendors, and met some people who were very excited to say Hello to us. We also might have gotten followed briefly but 没关系。We were supposed to get dinner on our own, but we didn’t realize where we were supposed to go (up this one road) so we quickly walked over there, got 包子 and milk tea (I was very proud of us for successfully ordering both in Chinese and surviving when the 包子store owner tried to hold a conversation with us…I have a feeling neither of us were understanding each other but that’s pretty standard for my conversations here so I’m not worried about it). After, we rode the bus to a ferry stop by the Pearl River and were given time to walk around. Grace, Maya and I walked together. The experience started off by me getting yelled at at full volume by a old guy on a bike with some baskets because I didn’t realize I was in his way. Some bystanders found this hilarious, I did not. After our walk up and down the river, we ran to make it back on time and got on the ferry. The ferry was ~awesome~. We got to see the lights of the city at night (and on the water), and got to go up close to the Guangzhou tower (which is the seventh tallest building in the world, apparently). It was absolutely gorgeous (I’m not doing it justice with my words here). Also, after helping these people take a picture, they asked to take a picture with me which is the first time I’ve been asked for a picture in China (yay?). I also got to talk to Grace a lot which was really nice, she is very similar to me and I enjoy her company. After the ferry, we headed to the hotel. For this trip, I roomed with Tully. Before room checks, after a failed attempt to go to the roof, we all met up in Garrett’s room. Matthew was spooked because the room across (next to?) his and Josh’s was room 444 (which is, like, the worst and most unlucky number possible here…I’m actually surprised the hotel has one) and then their lights went out, so he was doing martial arts. It was very intimidating. Josh, Maya, Anthony and I then spent the hour stretching (or in Josh’s case, struggling and suffering) and goofing around. The stretching was prompted by Katie showing all of us that she is RIDICULOUSLY flexible (after which I encouraged her to take up ballet), which made Garrett look physically pained just from watching. After curfew, Tully and I talked, which was mice because I don’t see her or talk to her a lot, and we went to sleep without showering because the room was kinda gross. // 周六（zhōuliù，Saturday): Saturday was just as wild as Friday, if not more so (which I didn’t think was possible). The first order of business was breakfast. Fully, David, Abigale, Shayley, Maya, Reyna, maybe Zack (sorry I forgot) and I went to a local shop to eat 肠粉 (chángfěn），a Guangdong specialty. It’s a dish that they make by pouring out rice batter (that’s definitely the wrong word) in a thin layer on a sheet, adding veggies and/or egg and/or meat and then cooking it (I think they steamed it). Then they roll it all up and cover it with a sauce. I had the veggie one and some chocolate bean milk thing (as far as I know) and it was very delicious. Then we were off to a local elementary school. They gave us an orchestra performance using traditional Chinese instruments and these kids were crazy good. They were between ages 7 and 11 and they had been selected to join this orchestra. Saturday was their first day of break but they all seemed happy to be there. After a few traditional songs, they let us go up to kids and have them teach us how to play. I tried out the guzheng (which was super cool), the erhu (which I was terrible at but had fun with) and another instrument whose name I forget right now (you use hammers to hit strings and I was very very confused and bad at it). Most of the kids I talked to were practicing an hour or more a day, and were very very good. One kid who stood out was a guy who could play both the hammer+strong instrument and a Chinese drum. When they went around and introduced all the instruments to us, kids did solos on each instrument and he did the drum-it was stunning. He played so quickly and precisely!!! Then, it was time for us to perform for them. I played the Rachmaninoff Prelude (a shortened version), but I sort of botched the performance and I’m not sure why. Then we all sang the chorus of “对不起” (the song about our Chinese being bad) and the kids played more traditional music and a western classical song adapted to their orchestra (which was really cool). After, I was feeling kind of crappy about my performance when we went down to the bottom level and goofed around on the playground before taking some pictures with the kids and heading out. Imagine my surprise when one kid asked for my autograph, and then suddenly a group of kids all wanted me to sign things and give them my WeChat username. That was quite literally my 15 minutes of fame! // After heading out, we spent a few minutes in a square nearby (some of my new elementary school friends were there) and then headed to lunch. Lunch was not as good, which was probably not helped by the fact that there were several older guys smoking inside. This is one of the things I’ve had a lot of trouble getting used to here–there are a LOT of smokers here, and while I often see signs inside that say no smoking, I also have gotten used to seeing ashtrays inside those very same rooms. The toilet experience there was….unpleasant, and then we were off to a tea house. // As we got off the bus and began to walk to the tea house, rain was POURING. I was wearing my rap jacket (I forgot my umbrella at school, oops) and by the time we entered the tea house, my entire lower half was drenched. I spent the first few minutes awkwardly wringing out my dress and using tissues to attempt to dry myself off. // This teahouse was very different from the one my mom took me to; rather than one table, it had three stories, multiple side rooms, and many many many different kinds of tea (for a significant price). One of the coolest things was getting to talk to the owner about his company (he also owns a tea bank and apparently a mountain? I heard he rents the mountain? Not super clear), getting to see this big wood fourpostbed-looking thing that people would drink tea at from the Qing dynasty, and getting to have a conversation (entirely in Chinese) with one of the ladies about the different tools used at the table. The latter was a bit stressful because I couldn’t understand a lot, but I had to help my friends. We got the gist of what was going on, so all was well. Afterwards, we headed down for the tea ceremony. I have always thought of drinking tea as a quiet affair, but there were three guys there who were really loud and an absolute RIOT. One of them really hit it off with Alec and Isabel, and I will cherish the memory of them all loudly yelling 干杯(gānbēi，cheers, coincidentally one of this weeks vocabulary words) and making everyone on our half of the gigantic wooden table toast (and then them taking selfies together), which I’m pretty sure isn’t traditional tea protocol 😂 After tea, they gave us each a bag that had information and a teacup in it (!), which was super generous, and we were swept back onto the bus. // A few hours later, we were back in Zhuhai. Everyday Zhuhai feels more and more like home, so I am getting more and more sad at the thought of having to say goodbye. But returning to Zhuhai didn’t mean my excitement was over for the day. My sister had a piano recital, and I was in charge of getting myself there. My mom had sent me directions for which bus stops to take, and the first ride went perfectly. But then, there were no busses coming any time soon to my intermediate stop, so I had a problem. My mom told me to take a taxi, and if I couldn’t figure it out, to ask someone at the station to help me. No one was at the station. Now, in case you were wondering, here’s a list of things I have never done: 1) Taken a taxi by myself 2) Completed a taxi transaction in an unfamiliar place in the middle of China 3) Completed a taxi transaction in Chinese. Well, I’m proud to say that I managed to do all 3, and I even had a conversation with the driver about how long he had been driving, how long he had been in Zhuhai, how long I had been in China, etc. He helped me find my building, and my journey was complete! My mom was very proud/impressed/surprised that I had successfully navigated (I was a little concerned at how surprised she was), and I was greeted with a good old fashioned fast food dinner of French fries, a chicken sandwich and soda. That was a little bit of a shock to my system (the first "American” meal I’d had since I arrived) but a welcome taste from home. After, we headed upstairs to watch the recital. //The recital was my little sister and a bunch of high school students, and some of these kids were really good. One girl was 15 and played 4 songs, including a full sonata and the Revolutionary Etude. I was floored by her talent. At the end of the show, I ended up befriending her and a few other students. I’m excited to have some friends that are around my age! I goofed around on one of the pianos outside during intermission (aka poorly played Rachmaninoff and Chopin) and some people started filming me…not because it was really good, just because I’m a 外国人 . I don’t mind, it’s just a little odd when people take pictures of you/film you without ever talking to you or asking permission. // 周日（zhōurì，Sunday): After the excitement of the past few days, Sunday was a welcome rest. I woke up a little later than usual and my family and I went out to 早茶(zǎochá）, which translates to morning tea but is actually like lots of small dishes that you can eat for breakfast or lunch or in our case, brunch. We had 早茶 in this really cool restaurant where the top floors were hotel rooms and the bottom floors were like hotel rooms but for eating. Each party gets its own room with a table and very nice bathroom. The bathrooms had western toilets, toilet paper AND soap so the restaurant definitely got my stamp of approval. Okay, back to the food. We had everything from red bean buns shaped like pigs (which were SO CUTE) to squares of what looked like super fancy layered jello (I would say the flavor but I have no idea what the flavor was). It was very delicious but my stomach got a little overwhelmed by how many sweet and oily things there were. When I declined sugar in my warm milk drink, my mom declined it for me first and told my dad (in Chinese) that I was afraid of getting fat and so I wouldn’t want any. I retorted that I was not in fact afraid of getting fat and that I just didn’t want sugar in my drink. I think she thinks this because I don’t eat a lot, but I DO eat a lot (I was literally never hungry the first week because I am constantly being fed or having more food put on my plate). Confusing remarks aside, I had a really nice meal and this was the first time our whole family sat down at the same table to eat together, so I enjoyed the morning. Then, my dad, sister and I took the train that goes alongside the road home, which was very nice and a fun new experience. // After getting home, my sister and I both worked on homework. She asked me to help her translate the English text she was reading into Chinese, but my Chinese wasn’t good enough so I was pretty useless there. Her homework and mine made me so tired I fell asleep (that’s my homework strategy in America too…I’m a consistent student). After I woke up, Maya and I decided to meet up to hang out in TangJia. I took the bus over and had a really nice time walking in the park and goofing around on all the exercise equipment with her (despite the weird looks we got from some police officers). It was also nice to have a long, peaceful conversation with a friend after such a whirlwind of a week. I came home for dinner, watched TV with the fam, and started writing this blog post!// Okay this last part is going to be a little TMI, so if that’s not your thing, catch you next week. For you brave souls, I have a few more comments to make. 1) Being a girl and dealing with all the bodily functions that come as a result of that is Not A Fun Time in China. It’s annoying and inconvenient and has made me like squat pots less. 2) Having some stomach emergencies during your sisters piano recitals intermission and then running out of tissues in the land of no-TP-in-public-restrooms is an experience you won’t and can’t forget. // Okay, that’s it for this week! ✌️️

1 note · View note

sunshinemiranda · 8 years ago

Text

Starlight Grounds - Phillipa Soo x Reader

Summary: The reader is a barista at a coffee shop. There is a beautiful girl who comes in at the same time every day to get the same drink. She asks after the music. A mixtape happens.

Warnings: None, except for MAJOR TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF. Honestly.

Words: 2,424

A/N: Day 2 of the Write-A-Thon! Sorry for posting so late, I had a really big day. There are songs that go along with this fic, and I’ll add links in the paragraphs! Just click on the titles. Thank you to @protecting-my-legacy for proofreading this and letting me use your wonderful self as a side character.

askbox | masterlist

Starlight Grounds was a little hole in the wall coffee shop, tucked neatly into the corner of West 46th Street in the busy crowd of New York City. It serviced the tired actors and crew who needed a morning pick-me-up before going to a day of rehearsals at the Richard Rodgers, which happened to be just down the street. Every day was a long one, even for such a small coffee shop, but the job was happy and provided good tips. It was perfect for you.

Every morning, right on time, a dark-haired, beautiful girl came in and ordered a venti cinnamon dolce latte. Every morning, she hummed a different song and even sang softly, with a beautiful, crystal clear voice. Every morning, you swooned a little more over the stranger who you only knew as “Pippa”, as it was written on her coffee cup.

“All you know is her favourite drink and her nickname, and you’re half whipped for the girl already.”

“I am not!”

This argument with Mackie, your sweetheart of a coworker (correction: scathing sweetheart) had been going on as long as the customer of your affections had been coming to your workplace.

“Look,” sighed Mackie, all hands on hips and perked eyebrows. “Just ask the girl out. Maybe write something cute on her cup if you’re feeling risky. Don’t just stare at her like an idiot and ask her the same question every day.”

“It’s my system.” You pouted, crossing your arms with a huff. “And it works.”

“Like hell it does.”

Despite your colleague’s hard work to push you forward, the next morning followed the very same schedule. The doorbell rang as the minute hand on the clock hit 5:36, and you scrambled out of your seat to take her order.

“Hi!” You inwardly cringed at your cheery employee voice. “What can I get you?”

“A venti cinnamon dolce latte, please.” She grinned, sliding exact change over, already knowing the price by heart.

God, she was adorable.

“Oh, also, could you maybe tell me the name of this song?” She smiled, gesturing to the speakers that happened to be playing music that you had selected.

You were bursting with pride as you pulled her drink together. She liked your music. Yours.

“Of course!” As you slipped a protective sleeve onto the cup, you pulled out the Sharpie that was perched behind your ear and scribbled out, Blue Velvet - Lana Del Rey, before handing it to her.

She looked down, eyes following your note as her smile grew. “Thank you so much!” Reaching over, she pushed a ten dollar bill into the tip box, sending you a heart-stopping smile before exiting the coffee house as quickly as she had left.

Frozen on the spot, you stared at the door that had already closed, the doorbell echoing softly, full of a blush and a heart that just couldn’t slow down.

Mackie looked up from her magazine, cocked an eyebrow and took a pointed bite of her apple.

“Jesus, you have it bad.”

No amount of denial would change the fact that she was utterly correct.

The next morning, Pippa whooshed through the door, looking pretty as always and rubbing her hands together from the cold winter outside. She was humming a song, and it wasn’t until she had pulled up to the counter that you realized it was the very same song you had written on her cup yesterday. Your heart did a tapdance.

“Hi there! Can I get a-”

“Venti cinnamon dolce latte?” You offered a shy smile.

“Yes!” She exclaimed, a little louder than she had planned, and blushing. “I do come here a lot, don’t I.”

Mackie coughed from behind the panini press, something that sounded dangerously close to the word, “whipped”.

Pippa tilted her head, listening to the speakers that were, again, playing your music.

“Jeez, it’s like every time you come in here, you’re playing music I like! Can I get the name of this one too?” She smiled sheepishly.

“Of course!” You blurted. “You like French music?”

“Oh yes! I love the language. Always wished I could speak it.”

“Me too,” you smiled, pulling out your Sharpie to add, Ava - Coeur de Pirate to her cup.

Giving you a word of thanks, she sent you a beautiful smile and swept out the door and on her way. This girl was killing you with her wonderful smile, her great taste in music, the way she dressed, talked, and sang your favourite songs under her breath. God, there was no way you could survive the shift without poring over your song selection to find the perfect song for tomorrow morning. The day would not end fast enough.

The “music incidents” as you and Mackie had come to know them, kept going throughout the week. Every morning, your infatuation would appear like an angel at the door, right on time, always humming the last song you had suggested. Sometimes she even sang it under her breath and your world pretty much exploded. Always, she would ask after your song choice.

On Monday, her cup said The Only Thing - Sufjan Stevens.

Tuesday, it read Sleepwalk - Santo & Johnny.

Wednesday morning brought, Sea of Love - Cat Power.

Thursday was marked with, Someone New - Hozier.

Mackie was certain that it was her way of hitting on you, but you, on the other hand, summed it up as some angelic kindness on her part. After all, this girl was practically perfect in every way. In what twisted, upside down world would someone of this league and stature want anything to do with you and your disorganized playlists? It was too good to be true, and though Mackie tried (more than once and in many different ways) to prove that you were wrong, the concept was simply too unfathomable.

After the Thursday shift had come and gone and you had been nearly run off your feet with grumpy New York inhabitants, grumpy before their first touch of caffeine, you slouched into a leather chair next to an equally tired Mackie.

“I think I know what I’m gonna do.” You mumbled, eyes closing to gather your thoughts.

“And what exactly would that be? Gape at her beauty some more? Keep giving her song names and nothing else? Memorize her coffee order and never get her number? Stare at her agai-”

“Mackie, no. I’m gonna make her a mixtape.”

There was a pause and you opened your eyes to gauge your best friend’s reaction. She glanced over at you, expression serious now.

“I think that’s the best goddamn idea you’ve had since you decided to join me in this horrible barista job. Now get home, you’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ll close up.” She sent you a lopsided grin.

“Oh my God, seriously? Yes, you are the best Mackie, I love you, I promise to-”

“(Y/N), I didn’t give you free time just for you to waste it. I’ll close up. Now get the hell out of my coffee shop.”

There was no point in throwing away the opportunity.

A quick bus ride and a two-block-walk later, you had arrived comfortably at home and got straight to work. A few weeks ago, you had bought a few blank cassette tapes, planning on making some birthday playlists for some close friends and family when the time came. Thank God for that. Immediately, you pulled up all your music on your phone, sifting through it and marvelling at how many of the songs reminded you of the beautiful girl who appeared in your dreams.

It took two hours to finish the tape, and you realized that doing so was not easy. A load of calculation went into how to fit the songs on both sides, and that wasn’t even mentioning the twenty minutes you wasted trying to find the perfect song to start the playlist with. By the time everything was finished, your eyes had been strained so badly that it was hard to write out the names of the songs and artists on the slip of paper in the cassette case, but it was worth it. Your motivation stemmed from excitement to see her face when she saw your gift. Hopefully, it would lead to a nice enough segway into asking her out on a date, but for now your focus was entirely on the mixtape in front of you.

As you fell asleep that night, your stomach flipped in waves of anticipation and nervousness. It was like being a high school kid again, the night before the Valentine’s Day dance where you were planning to ask your crush for a slow dance. Except, this was real life, not a dream, and you were an adult, which meant people were quicker to judge and expectations were easily crushed, stabbed, punched in the face and run over with a bus just for good measure.

Pippa (or whatever her name might be) seemed to be different. Her smile promised warm hugs and her laugh made you want to hold her hand and there was just something about the way she sang that hit your heart like a warm bath against tired skin. She was the epitome of beautiful and it wasn’t just a coincidence that she appeared so frequently in your dreams.

Before you went to sleep that night, you wrote out a neat title on the cassette: For the girl who likes cinnamon dolce lattes.

No morning before a confession can be fully complete without an almost complete freak-out. The clock was speeding towards 5:36 and Mackie had spent the past half hour trying to quell your fears.

“She’s going to hate it, I look so creepy, oh God, why am I doing this?”

“Because you like her. And you made this awesome playlist and you are going to give it to her and ask her on a date.”

“I can’t,” you breathed, head in your hands as you quaked at the very thought. “I can’t do this, I really can’t-”

“(Y/N) (L/N).” The decisive way she threw your name out, like it was a command, caught your attention. “You listen to me and you listen hard. You stayed up all night making this disgustingly adorable mixtape for a girl you like. You put time into this. If she doesn’t appreciate it, then she’s not worth all the fuss and bother and frankly, I don’t want you going out with someone who can’t appreciate the work you put in. This is going to happen, and it’s going to happen well. Now get yourself together, stand up, and face her. That’s right.”

She stood you up with a firm grasp, turning to the counter to retrieve the cassette you had banished and pressed it into your hands just as the doorbell rang. You mouthed a silent, thank you, before moving slowly but surely to the till to take Pippa’s order.

“Hey! Just the regular.” She threw you a grin that sent your mind into a tornado as you typed her total out, taking her money with mechanical movements.

“Sounds good,” you managed, but your voice was weak and wavering.

As you reached for a cup to scribble her name down, her eyes widened as she caught sight of what you had still clasped in your hand.

“Oh! Is that a cassette?”

“What?” You almost jumped, realizing that you had it in plain sight and quickly hid it in the pocket of your apron. Quickly, you busied herself making her drink. “Um, y-yeah. Yeah it is.”

“That’s so cool. I have a tape player at home but nothing is on cassette anymore, so I’m not sure if there’s a point.” She sent you a sad smile as you topped her drink with a black plastic lid.

“It should come in handy one day.” You replied with a watery smile of your own, passing over the cardboard cup.

“I hope so! Thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She waved over her shoulder, still smiling before walking out the door.

The cassette hung heavy in your pocket, full of regrets and ultimately, a plastic reminder that you had completely failed. You were just accepting defeat when Mackie hurried over and grabbed your sleeve, tugging on it viciously.

“Go after her.”

Something about the way she said it pushed you right into gear and before you knew it, you were hurrying out of Starlight Grounds and into the morning crowd of West 46th Street, still clad in your green barista apron and armed with a cassette for a beautiful girl. A familiar head of hair caught your eye and you wasted no time in hurrying forward.

Your voice seemed to take control of its own fate and without even noticing, you called out her name.

“Pippa!”

Her head whipped around and she startled as she realized it was you, but waded back towards where you stood on the sidewalk.

“Oh my God, (Y/N), hi.”

“Wait. You know my name?” You stared at her in shock.

“Of course. It’s on your nametag.” She grinned, pointing.

That was more than embarrassing.

“Oh. Right.” Rubbing a hand over your face, you steeled your nerves. “Listen, I just…I wanted to give you something.”

Reaching into your pocket, you pulled out the tape gingerly and offered it to her in an open palm.

“This-This is for you. I made it. It’s got all these songs I thought you’d like since you always ask me about the music I play so, I thought you would appreciate it?”

She stared, breathless at the gift and reached forward, picking it up with awe in her eyes.

“This is…oh my goodness, (Y/N), this is too much. I can’t believe you did this for me.” Looking up, she grabbed your hands, giving a wide smile. “Thank you. Really.”

“Anytime.” You smiled, giving her hand a squeeze as your heart fluttered in your chest.

“Hey, would you…like to go grab — well, maybe not coffee, ‘cause you must be sick of that — but do you wanna get dinner with me some time?” She asked, blushing badly as she stared at where your hands were clasped.

“I was just about to ask you that.” You grinned. “Yes. Of course, I’d love to.”

She let out a delighted giggle that made your knees weak. “Awesome. What’s your number? I’ll call you.” When Pippa appeared at your door the next night, right on time at eight o' clock, she was holding a mixtape with your name on it.

#phillipa soo x reader #phillipa soo imagine #hamilcast imagine #hamilton imagine #hamwriters writeathon

233 notes · View notes