#Three loot bugs

[fluffymuffincentral]

Love when we forget abt turrets existing

[vixensdungeon]

Hello, my little woodland critters. Today just for fun I'm going to walk you through the process of generating a character for the original 1974 edition of Dungeons & Dragons. I'm just going to use Men & Magic for this one but might do another one later with the supplements!

First, we get some dice. Three six-sided ones to be exact. I'm actually going to grab some with pips rather than numbers because that feels more authentic. Then, we roll and record their sum, repeating five more times, generating six ability scores. Here we go!

Strength 9 Intelligence 17 Wisdom 12 Constitution 16 Dexterity 13 Charisma 13

Yippee! As a witch these make me very happy indeed.

Next, we'll pick a class to play. Based on the abilities I rolled I'm of course going to pick the magic-user (the witch class didn't exist yet, alas). And as a magic-user, I'm actually allowed to futz with the numbers a bit, removing two points from Wisdom to gain an extra point in Intelligence. This gives us our finalised array, and we can now know the effects of each ability on the character.

Strength 9: no effect Intelligence 18: +10% to earned experience, eight extra languages Wisdom 10: no effect Constitution 16: +1 to each hit die, 100% chance to survive certain spells Dexterity 13: +1 to missile fire Charisma 13: maximum of 5 hirelings with +1 loyalty

Okay, languages. The character speaks the common tongue of the continent she lives in, along with an alignment language. I'm going to pick Neutral as my alignment so that's the language I speak. I also speak eight creature languages, which I'm going to pick later.

For equipment, we're going to grab our trusty 3d6 again, roll them, and mulitply by ten to find out how many gold pieces we have. I rolled 10, so I have 100 GP. I'm going to buy a dagger, the only weapon a magic-user is allowed. In addition I will buy 50' of rope, a large sack (for treasure), a leather back pack, a water skin, six torches, a flask of oil, a small silver mirror, a bunch of wolvesbane (in case of werewolves), a bunch of belladonna, and a bug of garlic (in case of vampires, or pizza). Not sure what the belladonna is useful for but you can never be too sure. This leaves me with 48 gold pieces that I will use to buy rations when I'm heading on an expedition of some sort. To calculate my encumbrance, I add my dagger's weight in gold pieces (20) to that of my miscaellanoues equipment (always 80, though a referee is allowed to make sure this stays within reason), for 100 GP of weight. I'm well within the limit for light foot movement, which will likely mean I'll have the responsibility of hauling loot out of the dungeon. Maybe I should invest in a second sack…

As a magic-user of the 1st level, I am titled a Medium, and will require 2,500 experience points to reach 2nd level (Seer). I roll 1 die (six-sided), adding +1 for my Constitution getting a total of 2… Tha'ts how many hits my magic-user can take before death. Let's hope she rolls better on the next level, assuming she survives. She fights with the strength of one man!

I can memorise one 1st level spell for my journey. Not knowing what I might face in the dungeon, I pick something witchy that I think can really save the group's butts: Sleep. All level 1 spells are in my spellbook so I don't need to worry about which ones I can memorise.

And that's pretty much it! Now we just give the character an imaginative name… How about Naiviv?

Onwards to adventure and glory, Naiviv the Medium!

[theresattrpgforthat]

So, I went to a game store, and I asked if there were any good beginner games for someone who tried the DnD Essentials Kit and found it too complicated, and you'll never guess what one singular game they suggested!

THEME: Simpler Games than DND.

My friend, I’m not a very good guesser, but I hope that I am able to present you with some games that will give you what you’re looking for.

24XX: Chaos Unit, by polyhedralmice

Deep under the busy streets of Sapien City is the headquarters of the Vermin Squad, the espionage wing of a secret organization of urban animals known as the CHAOS Unit. They capitalize on the fact that vermin are virtually invisible human inhabitants of the city and use they use their street smarts to run vital missions for the unit. Raccoons, opossums, pigeons and squirrels each play specific roles and together form teams that take on the most vital of missions. From intercepting life-saving pizza orders to rescuing their colleagues from the dastardly Animal Control, there is no task too daunting for the brave animals of the Vermin Squad. Every night teams are sent out on their missions, and this is the story of one of those teams. Nothing will stop these brave agents from successfully completing their tasks (except maybe a humane trap baited with peanut butter). 

CHAOS Unit is a spy themed hack based on Jason Tocci’s 24XX.

24XX games are great for groups that love different-sided dice. In general, you only have a few skills for your character that are outside the normal parameters (upgraded to d8 - d12), and the success threshold is the same for pretty much every roll. The challenges and situations of any given scenario are typically presented as roll tables, allowing the GM to come up with an adventure just by rolling a few dice.

CHAOS Unit has just a few character options, some simple gear options, and a comparatively light-hearted premise. It’s a great introduction to the system, and learning how to play one 24XX game makes every other 24XX game a piece of cake to learn, even if they include new rules.

Loot, by Gila RPGs.

LOOT is a fantasy TTRPG by Gila RPGs that combines looter shooter mechanics with west marches vibes. When a rebellion toppled a lich overlord and torn down his city, the people were left with a lot of loot, and a lot of problems. That's where you come in.

Get some friends together, fight some monsters, deck your characters out in cool loot. Do it all over again.

Even though LUMEN uses grid-based combat, your character’s stats are simplified, reduced to a few things: health, armour, and three action types: force, flow & focus. Your stats themselves come from the items that your carry - your loot.

Your loot is organized through slots on your character sheet: you can only carry so much, so you’ll have to think carefully about what kind of stat bonuses and abilities you want. I find that a visual inventory can make it easier to keep track of everything you have, and can help some players learn how to think strategically. If you like the fantasy and strategy that exists in D&D but don’t want to do nearly as much math, you might be interested in LOOT - although the lack of dice is certainly a big change.

Slugblaster, by Wilkie’s Candy Lab.

In the small town of Hillview, teenage hoverboarders sneak into other dimensions to explore, film tricks, go viral, and get away from the problems at home. It’s dangerous. It’s stupid. It’s got parent groups in a panic. And it’s the coolest thing ever.

This is Slugblaster. A table-top rpg about teenagehood, giant bugs, circuit-bent rayguns, and trying to be cool.

Forged in the Dark games can be tricky to introduce to a new table, but Slugblaster is one of a few that I think can do the job. It’s a streamlined version of the system, that takes away a lot of the crunch that comes from Stats, Position, and Effect, and boils it all down to Kick and Boost. It also streamlines harm into 2 levels of slams, and keeps stress and downtime to a procedure that you can follow step-by-step when you finish a run. Finally character creation is very easy: you only make few choices in terms of abilities, and many of these choices are descriptive, rather than mechanical.

One thing I’ve noticed about games with “simpler” rules systems is that they typically do require a bunch of improv, which can be scary for new GMs. Slugblaster isn’t that different in this regard, but it does have a few things you as a GM can prepare beforehand if you want to make things easier for yourself. For example, you can set up your map of the different dimensions beforehand, including the doorways that the teens can get through. If you know that the teens get back to your home dimension without going through Operablum, then you can prepare a few location - specific threats to confound the teens as they try to get back in time for dinner.

Another strength of these games is that typically, if a player wants to do something, they just have to be able to describe how they’d do it - you can then work backwards using the gear & resources on your sheet to give you some dice to roll, as well as the logic of the game world, to figure out what happens next.

Lady Blackbird, by John Harper

Lady Blackbird is on the run from an arranged marriage to Count Carlowe. She hired a smuggler skyship, The Owl, to take her from her palace on the Imperial world of Ilysium to the far reaches of the Remnants, so she could be with her once secret lover: the pirate king Uriah Flint.

Lady Blackbird is the first game I ever played, and it’s a game I fell for - hard. It involves rolling pools of dice that you pull from descriptive collections of tags assigned to pre-generated characters. It simplifies game-play by taking away the step of character creation, and gives the group a pretty solid story to pick up and follow wherever your heart may lead.

While the rules of the game are fairly simple, I think that as a GM, you’re going to need to be comfortable with a fair bit of improv to make this work. The game has some excellent pieces of advice on how to come up with scenes for the characters, and even includes some example complications to throw at the party. I’m really glad this was my first game because from the beginning, it affirmed that roleplaying games are a communal experience, and even if the characters and the starting scenario are already written for the group, the players have a lot of freedom to decide who their characters are, and what they’re going to value.

Liminal Horror, by Goblin Archives.

There’s a strange comfort to ambiguity. To stand at the threshold between states of what was and what’s next, to inhabit the places of transition. But you’re never truly alone here. There are things that hunger within the dark places. Strange creatures and mysteries lie in wait and tumbling into the wrong place at the wrong time may put you on the path towards doom.

Grab your flashlights and blood splattered jackets as you try to make it through the night. Beware, snapping bone and rending flesh are often the simplest outcome. While there may be great power within these places… not all mysteries can be solved and not everyone can be saved. Above all, there are fates far worse than death.

LIMINAL HORROR is a rules-lite, adaptable Survival-Horror roleplaying game about normal characters and their struggles against the things that go bump in the night. The game focuses on surviving the weird and Investigating horrors while blending simple, old-school inspired rules with modern, narrative first principles. Survival is not guaranteed and those that do make it through the night are often forever changed.

In Liminal Horror, character creation is rather quick, often easily generated using a few dice rolls. For most tasks, your characters will roll a d20 and try to get a number lower than one of their three stats, so when you get started, teaching the game should be pretty simple. Of course, since it’s a horror game, there’s more than just trying to roll under a stat: characters will find themselves subject to the consequences of being exposed to horrors that are far beyond the limits of human experience. As a result, characters will find themselves dealing with two different kinds of harm: stress & fallout. These two harm systems will make the stakes feel real, and they’ll also inflict changes on your characters as you play.

Liminal Horror has a few things going for it. The basic rules are fairly straightforward, but they’re also free. The game is meant to be paired with pre-written adventures, which often include place descriptions, NPCs, and adventure-specific consequences to torture the characters with. A lot of the adventures available come with a price tag, but if you want to try out the system, there’s a couple of free ones out there - I recommend Messenger National Park, by capacityforwonder.

For the Ship And Its Crew, by Adeline Fowl Games.

We've crewed this Ship for years together. We've seen wondrous sights, gotten ourselves into seemingly insurmountable trouble, and have owed our fair share of creds to the wrong people. And yet, still, we fly. But after all these years, our past may be catching up with us. As the missiles tear across starlit space, we'll be forced to ask ourselves: What will we do, for the Ship and its Crew?

This is a hack of For the Queen, which mostly involves answering prompts, using something like a card deck, or in this case, a digital hosting service. Your group is telling a story by taking turns answering questions, which makes the game fairly easy to teach, even to people who don’t have a lot of roleplaying experience.

These kinds of games can also be played very quickly, which might also make it easier to introduce to folks who aren’t used to sitting around a grid and calculating resources for 2+ hours.

Other Recommendation Posts To Check Out…

Easy To Teach Recommendation Post

First Time GMs Recommendation Post

Little Reading or Writing Required Recommendation Post

[atiny-desire]

Shining Armor

Pairing: Knight! Jongho x fem! reader

Summary: Your village gets attacked in the middle of the night. Unlucky for you, Jongho decides to take you with him.

Word count: 2.2k

Disclaimer: I'm in no way condoning, justifying, encouraging nor promoting this kind of behavior. This is not supposed to represent Jongho in any way.

Warning: kidnapping, blood, murder, pillaging, a little bit of physical violence against the reader

◇◇◇

It was the middle of the night when you were woken up by the sound of snorting horses and their hooves that stomped over the gravel path of your village. The voices of men mixed together with the noises of the horses. You sat up in your bed, your heart was hammering against your ribcage. A group of men showing up in the middle of the night was never a good sign, especially in times of war.

As quiet as possible, you sneaked into the living area of the house. Your parents were already standing there together and peaked out of a small gap of the shutters. Your father turned his head when he heard you approach and then looked back at your mother. "You two, go hide, I'll deal with anyone who comes in." He tried to guide you both to a somewhat safe spit, but it was already too late.

The door of your small home swung open, and three men invaded your family's living space. One of the three stood out especially. His armor was pitch black, while the metallic armor of the other two were silver. The only thing they had in common was the blazon of the neighboring kindom on the right side of their chest. "One more move, and your heads are going to roll." The man in the black armored spoke before ordering the two men by his side to search the house for valuables and money. Your parents stood in front of you, trying to hide you away from the strangers eyes.

"Get out of my home!" Your father barked at the intruders, but the three of them were unimpressed by his order, they didn't even bother to turn their heads and just continued looting. It took just one stern glance from the black armored warrior to make anyone freeze up, including your Dad.

Their metallic armor was rustling while they moved around. You kept your eyes on the man who was still standing in the doorway. His hand was resting on the hilt of his sword while he made sure that his men didn't miss a single nook or cranny. From outside, you started to hear screams of women and men alike. From the gap between the shutters, you could see the neighboring house. The thatched roof was currently going up into bright red flames. The dry material was easy feeding material for the fire to grow.

You turned your attention back to the men in your home. The tension was unbearable. The three of you hoped that they would just take what they wanted and leave again. At first, it looked like you were one of the lucky few who would get away, as the men finished plundering your home and moved to leave. The two men left first, and the man in black armor was about to follow before he turned around again. His gaze traveled over your small family before his eyes caught you through a small gap between your parents' bodies. His eyes narrowed at your parents before piercing right through you. "I'm taking the girl with me." It wasn't a question. It wasn't a request. It was a fact, an order.

Your mother's gaze turned fearful, she quickly searched for eye contact with your father, but he wasn't even looking at her. Your father had puffed his chest out and protectively stood before you and your mother. He might have let this man silence him, but he wouldn't give up his family without a fight. Anger burned in his gaze, with which he fixated the intruder. "You already took everything we have. Leave my home, now!"

The warrior grimaced his face, his eyes were cold, and his stance unwavering he was looking at your father like he did when he looked at bugs he was about to squish between his fingers A few unlucky ladybugs had already shared this fate. Deserved, as he would say, because how dare them stain his flawless armor with their red color? The only color he allowed was the red blood he drew from his enemies.

You had never seen brown eyes that managed to look so cold, to the point your whole body began to shiver. "Took what exactly?" He spat out with as much disdained as he could muster. It was his mission to show everyone in his way how little he thought of them. His hand that was previously just resting on the hilt of his sword now gripped it instead, ready to draw if he had to. "There's barely anything in this shithole. Do you think that's going to satisfy anyone?"

The warrior puffed out his chest just like your father did, but his heavy armor made him look more imposing, even causing your father to take a step back. "Hand me your daughter. Now! Unless you want me to paint the steel of my sword with your blood." A lazy smug smile spread on his face as he leaned forward, getting into your father's face. "And then I'll take her anyway."

Your father wanted to fight back. You could see it in his eyes, but what could he realistically do? He was huge, armored, and armed, and on top of that, he was not alone. His men were plundering the village in other houses, men and women were screaming alike, but you couldn’t worry about it right now, you had to worry about yourself.

The warriors eyes were on you again. His steely gaze caused you to flinch back and hide behind your mother like a scared child. He chuckled. "A little shy, are we?" His voice was a low murmur. He was seemingly satisfied by your reaction. Your body tensed, your throat tightened, you wanted to cry from being under so much stress. "Lucky. That's how I like 'em." He threw another cocky glance in your father's direction. He obviously wanted to provoke him, and he succeeded.

With an angry scream, your father attacked the armored warrior. His fist was closed tight to the point his knuckles turned white, but his resistance against the strangers' orders was short-lived. The warrior drew his sword, with such ease that one could think it weighted nothing more than a feather. The sight made you want to puke as your father got impaled on the sharp weapon. Time went by slowly, the event just barely registered in your brain as you had to watch your father stumble back, clutching his hand over the wound, choking up blood and eventually going down to the floor with a dull thud.

The world went silent for a second before your mother let out a gut-wrenching scream. She dropped to her knees and crawled over to her husband. She cradled his face, begging him not to die and to stand back up, but it was pointless. His heart had stopped beating shortly after being pierced by the sword. You were left standing on weak legs, wide-eyed and unprotected. Just what the warrior wanted.

He put his sword back into its scabbard before walking up to you to pull you against him. His arm was wrapped around your waste, the metal of his armor poked into your soft sides. He apparently didn't think you would struggle because his grip wasn't particularly tight. You began to squirm. "No, no, no! Let me go!" You yelled at him, put your hands on his shoulder, and tried to push him away.

The only thing your actions did was earn yourself an eye roll from him and a more firm grip on your waste. "Yes, yes, yes!" It was clear that he was mocking you. "Don't make it harder than it needs to be." He muttered as he roughly pulled you with him out of your home.

You screamed and wriggled in his hold, hitting him and trying everything to get out of his grip. You even yelled for your mother, but she didn't react. She was staring at your dead father. She was completely apathetic, to the point she didn't even notice the abduction of her own mother.

"Jongho! Did no one teach you that you don't drag the ladies screaming and kicking out of their house?" A male voice called out, followed by a hyena like laugh. You looked into the direction the voice came from. It was a man with blonde hair, a boyish grin decorating his lips, and blood was sprinkled all over his face and armor.

The man earned himself an angry glare from the one who dragged you out along with him. "Shut it, Wooyoung! How about you get your ass back on your horse? We're done here."

Jongho kept dragging you with him. Your resistance was useless. He managed to pull you with him with the same kind of ease he could draw his sword. He led you to a pitch-black horse. It looked just as mean as its rider. Tears of terror rolled down your face as your mind slowly began to process this quick follow-up of events. "Let go!" You whimpered, your voice was high-pitched and cracked occasionally.

The warrior stopped. His head turned toward you, but his eyes were still as cold and steely as before. "Why are you crying?" With his free hand, he gripped your face. The metal of his armor was now also poking into the skin of your face. He held you still and moved his face closer to yours. Unexpectedly, his tongue darted out and licked away the tears that had escaped your eyes. You flinched back as much as you could with his hold on you, your nose scrunched up, and your body shivered with disgust at the wet feeling of his tongue on your cheek. "Don't worry. Your life will be good as my wife." He murmured with a soft tone, but instead of soothing you, it only made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

"Oh come on Jongho, did you never learn -" The voice of the man from before was heard again, you remembered Jongho calling him Wooyoung. He never got to finish what he wanted to say because Jongho's head shot up and locked his burning gaze on the blonde. "One more word, and you'll join the peasants under the ground!" That was enough to make Wooyoung shut up, he just raised his hands to show that he had given up and walked to his horse to avoid Jongho's path.

Now that Wooyoung was dealt with, you were back in Jongho's fixation. You were still struggling, although your attempts seemed almost pathetic. That was what he was probably thinking too, because a mocking grin tugged at his lips while he watched you squirm like a worm in a bird's beak. "That's enough, settle down."

His patience with you was running out, and when you still resisted, despite his stern order to settle down, he backhanded you across the face. A few of his men turned their head to see what was happening before quickly turning away again to stow away their looted goods, deciding that it wouldn't be worth it to mingle with Jongho's business. Your cheek was left red and warm, pulsating with pain. His slap would have already been powerful in itself, but the metallic gloves of his armor intensified the impact even more.

You held your warm cheek and looked up to the warrior in shock. The stinging pain forced tears to well up in your eyes again. "You'll need to learn some manners before you can mother my future children." He saw the look of horror on your face when he mentioned having children and chuckled lowly. The only thing you would remember from this moment was how emotionless his eyes looked. His brown eyes seemed black, the light of the burning houses behind you reflected in his dark eyes. He took the opportunity of you freezing up again and hoisted you up on his horse.

He joined you behind you so he could wrap his arms around your waist while he held the reigns. With a whistle, he signaled his men to mount up and get ready to leave. As you were forcefully taken with them, you turned your head to see the destruction they had caused in your hometown. Several buildings were burning down, black smoke disappeared into the black night sky, and a few corpses were lying around, some of them you even knew.

"Why me?" You asked when you turned around and stared forward. You could imagine how your mother must be feeling right now. Just like you, she lost everything in just one night.

You heard his chuckle from behind you, but there wasn't any humor in it. "Why not?"

Outraged you snapped your head around, your eyes were blazing with fury. "What do you mean, 'why not'?

"I mean exactly what I said. Why not. Do I need a reason to take you with me?" He asked. The men that were riding behind him were as quiet as the night, trying to hear what their General was saying. "Good, you want a reason? I think you'd look pretty in my bed. Does that satisfy you?" You saw the dirty smirk on his lips and quickly turned away again. You pressed your lips into a thin line. You wanted to scream but held it in the back of your throat. Still, a small frustrated sound left your mouth that only earned yourself another chuckle from Jongho.

[blingblong55]

141 but playing lethal company. Imagine the the chaotic screaming and swearing from four grown men. Gaz being chase by a loot bug, Soap accidentally stepping a mine and die, Price getting alot of loot but also screaming from the thumper( poor peepaw), and Ghost already in the ship with alot of loot but is not fighting the urge to leave them.

It's not just chaotic, it's a nightmare and the best thing you've made them do so far. 

it starts with you begging them to play the game. "Just, play, enjoy and I'll watch," you say and they just go for it.

"What is that-? Price! Price...it's chasing me!!!HELP!" Gaz's last famous words. Price is confused as he tries to help everyone but also does not want to. 

"Do you guys think if I step on this-" Soap dead-ass dies and looks at his imaginary camera. 

Ghost after three seconds of getting on the ship, deadass gets up from the sofa, looks at you, shakes his head and leaves the room. 

[k33bsstuff]

Blue Lock Zombie Apocalypse Au

Hiyaaaa!!! I've never actually wrote a story before or whatever. But years of reading fanfics has kinda motivated me I guess.

I've notice a severe lack of blue lock zombie apocalypse AUs which is kinda sad cus I love ZA au's and theyre just too freaking cool.

I don't think I'll write a proper story with chapters and stuff but instead with different characters and oneshot type things ya know?

There's not gonna be much of a description but who cares. Sorry that it is short too. Just trying test my writing ability. If you have any tips or opinions or anything in general please comment!

Reader

Reo

Nagi

Hope you enjoy my first story 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Apocalypse Buddies!

Ft Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage and Gn Reader!

2 years. It has been 2 years since you last abandoned your own home to venture out into this rotting landscape that you now unfortunately find yourself in. Miles for miles of rotten corpses is all you see staggering around the desolate earth. Despite the feelings of exhaustion of evading death every single day, you push them aside as you focus on what is infront of you, or perhaps the treasuring site of your two best friends nagging at each other over the last chocolate granola bar.

In this so called office building, You, Nagi and Reo are camping for the night after a few tiresome days of scavenging for resources and avoiding becoming zombie food. Sitting in the middle of the depressing once called printer room are you three. Nagi crosses his legs and slouches as he sits on a small miserable pile of blankets, while Reo who is next to him also sits in discomfort due to the hard floor, the light of the makeshft lamp flickers, illuminating Reos dirtied skin. While you, sitting infront of them chewing on an bet before 5 month old oat bar. The expired groans of the undead are faint in the background, the thick walls of the office building filtering out some of the sound. The contents of your backpack scattered out in the middle of you 3.

"Is this all you could get (name)?

Nagi asked, in his regular boring, slightly raspy tone. His grey tired eyes flicked up to meet your (eye colour) coloured ones, his expression as careless as ever. For some reason the way Nagi asked you that question ticked you off. Maybe it's because of his judgmental emphasis on 'all'...or maybe it's due to his overall lackadaisical nature which bugs you from time to time despite it not being very convenient for the survival of the living dead.

Reo, slightly tired by Nagis insensitive antics sighs and give him a little nudge.

"Cmon Nagi, it's not that bad. They did a pretty good raid in my opinion, you just gotta look at it with a better perspective!"

Reo grinned with his signature smirk as his eyes darted from your tired state to Nagis slumped form.

"What are you on Nagi. Nothings wrong with a few granola bars and a magazine"

You spat back at Nagi. Not taking his stupid ignorant comment despite your exhausted state. You stretch your arms, small popping noises from the joints in your arms echo through the rather silent room, the only other noise emitting from the crackle of the flame from the d.i.y lamp that you spent all your time making to look appealing in contrast to the wrecked world you've sadly found yourself in.

Nagi rubbed his nose with his long, slender index finger and lazily reaches to his disgusting state of a backpack. He carelessly shook out the contents, dropping a couple of torches, batteries, hooks an already used hammer and a small bottle of antiseptic.

"Nagi careful with that stuff. We're lucky to see such supplies like this without it already being wrecked."

You and Reo scan over the loot that came from Nagis bag. You pick a torch and fiddle with it, flicking the ON/OFF switch playfully.

"Atleast I got something that we can actually use"

"We can eat the granola bars and use the magazine. I think I was being pretty smart about this actually."

"None of us own a gun"

"Shut the Fuck up"

":x"

Nagi just looks at you, in sort of an inspecting manner. You notice his eye contact and stop what you're doing. You slowly but cautiously move the torch into Nagis face, your calloused fingers gripping onto the flash light tightly. Reo, still getting a sense of the valuable items that Nagi brought , mumbles to himself about the efficiency or some shit. Your eyes flick from the white-haired man's piercing gaze to the cylinder- shaped flash light in your grasp then to him again. You flick the switch but nothing seems to be happening. You open the back of the torch and replace the useless batteries with the new ones that Reo was inspecting, earning a small "Hey!" Of annoyance from him. You slap the back right on and point the torch at Nagis face.

"Don't point it in my face"

"it's not like it's gonna work anyway. We dont know if these batteries are dead or not,

Seeee."

A bright white light blinds Nagi as he winces and covers his eyes with his roughed up hands.

"My bad"

You mutter under your breath as you shamefully put away the flash light. You unravel the tough wrapper of the 5 month expired granola bar and take small bite out of it, trying to savour the taste of the bland but somehow comforting bar.

Half and hour later

You Reo and Nagi are feasting on the not so tasty granola bars but, it will make do. Reo, eyeing the last manky granola bar speaks up with pieces of the expired snack still being chewed up in his mouth

"Last bars mine"

With a look of pure disgust you speak up, only to be cut off by the white-haired slouching giant hastily swallowing his bar, replying in a stern tone.

"No it isn't. It's mine"

"Says who?"

"Says me."

The young purple haired man side eyes Nagi then lunges for the granola bar. Nagi, knowing his companion for far too long also lunges for the last granola bar. As the two young adults tackle each other over the small gold worth bar of nuts and all sorts you can't help but smile and watch them in awe.

Maybe leaving home wasn't so bad after all.

[fictionalbugreviews]

Lootbugs from Deep Rock Galactic (some kind of grub I think? There is a designated button to pet them)

Loot Bugs (Deep Rock Galactic)

I think this is supposed to be a beetle all things considered,,, cute attention to detail with the clusters of three eyes on each side of the face, but forgot to give this poor babby the sixth leg (as far as i can tell). unless it's got 10 arms (5x5)???? what

some matter of peast. shoutout to this thing. i cannot tell what you are but i hope you get all the pets

RATING: 🐛🐛🐛🐛 (A for Effort)

[psyphigirl]

How to play Caravan (New Vegas)

While I was tryin to learn how to play Caravan I saw loads of guides were just explaining the win conditions and not the actual rules or controls. So this post'll explain everything about caravan from top to bottom. (The only reason to play Caravan is for the two achievements, win three times and win thirty times; I don't find it very fun, not the fastest way of making money, and has no bearing on any plot.)

Getting the Cards

The only way to get the Caravan Deck is from Ringo after completing Ghost Town Gunfight (or looting it off his body). You don't need this, but it gives you the minimum number of cards you need to play. If you don't take it you'll have to manually find enough cards for Caravan to be available for you You can get cards from vendors and merchants (~two caps per). Keep an eye out for 6's, 8's, 10's, and Kings (The strat I'll describe needs those cards). You can have multiple copies of the same card (i.e. more than one 6 of Spades)

I got the most cards from Lacey (the bartender) at the Mojave Outpost (anywhere from three to eight). Buy the cards you need and wait three days for her to restock. There's a semi-rare bug where she'll sell two of the exact same card (i.e. two Ultra Luxe 8 of Hearts): Buying both'll crash the game

Sierra Madre Cards

If you have Dead Money installed you can find additional cards for Caravan in and around the Sierra Madre. Below is all the cards you can find and where they are:

8 of Clubs - Sierra Madre Casino & Resort (Cantina Madrid): On the floor in front of a file cabinet to the right of the Cafe Madrid terminal and restaurant manager desk. King of Clubs - Medical District: Inside a 2nd floor room with an active electric hot plate, north of the Villa clinic and above a ground level cafe sign directly west across a courtyard from the room containing the 6 of Diamonds, on a round table in the northeast corner. 6 of Diamonds - Medical District: Inside a 2nd floor room northeast of the Villa clinic and directly east across a courtyard from the room containing the King of Clubs, on a wooden shelf in the southwest corner behind an orange chair. 10 of Hearts - Villa: Some distance north of the Villa police station and west of the room containing the 5 of Hearts, on the interior corner of a walkway to the southeast of a wall fountain. Going from the 5 of Hearts, out the door with a wall fountain, down the stairs, in the corner of the interior walkway on the left. 6 of Spades - Salida del Sol North: In the northwest corner of a small courtyard with three bear traps and a dead tree, on the ground between a wall and three pipes, just west of the stairs leading to a room containing Dean's Secret Stash, a radio and two pool tables. 8 of Spades - Villa police station: In the northwest corner of the cell Dog is located in.

Who can I play with?

You're never explicitly told who you can play with, you just have to ask around. Here's the full list; Limited: You can only play with them five times and then never again Restricted: You have to have good rep with their faction to play

Cliff Briscoe - Dino Bite gift shop - Limited Dale Barton - The Fort - Restricted Dennis Crocker - NCR Embassy Isaac - Gun Runners Jake Erwin - NCR Embassy Johnson Nash - Primm - Limited Jules - North Vegas Square Keith - Aerotech suite Lacey - Mojave Outpost - Limited Little Buster - Camp McCarran Q.Master Mayes - Camp Forlorn Hope - Limited - Restricted No-bark Noonan - Novac Ringo - Goodsprings/Crimson Caravan Camp Jed Masterson - Northern passage - Only available with Honest Hearts

Johnson Nash uses more face cards than other players which can break the strat I'll describe later. No-bark Noonan is the easiest to play against

Building your Deck

After offering to play with someone, and after setting your bet, you'll be shown two long rows of cards. The top row is the deck you'll play with in the game, the bottom row is the cards you won't be using

Use your arrow keys to move left and right, pressing W to add a card to your deck and A to remove it. Only select your 6's, 8's, 10's, and Kings. If you don't have enough of these to reach the 30 card minimum, add some Jacks or Queens. After that press F to play

The Controls

The descriptors of the controls listed along the bottom right can be a little vague or misleading, here's a better explanation;

Arrow keys to highlight a card in your available hand (these will be the cards revealed to you in a fan) W to select a card Q to discard a card (counts as a full turn) If you select a card and want to deselect it, press R. With no card selected, R is the forfeit button E lets you completely discard a caravan you've built

When you select a card it will move to the left side of the screen. This is where the game is played. Use the arrow keys to place your selected card in one of the six sections available (these are the caravans)

Number Cards and Face Cards

Ace - Value of 1 Number Cards - Value of 2-10

You can play face cards on your caravans or your opponents caravans, and they can do the same to you

Jack - When played on an Ace/Number Card, removes that card along with any card attached to it Queen - When played on an Ace/Number Card, supposedly reverses the direction of hand and changes suit of the hand. I'm not sure if it's just my game being buggy or if I'm using them wrong, but Queen cards don't seem to do anything for me. I use Queens as null cards: Just something to fill up my deck. If you know what they actually do I'll add a proper explanation here. King - When played on an Ace/Number card, doubles the value of that card. Multiple Kings can be attached to the same card Joker - When played on an Ace, removes all other non-face cards of the ace's suit from the table (except that card) When played on a Number Card, removes all other cards of that value from the table (except that card) You can place multiple Jokers on the same card to remove any card of that suit/value placed after you placed your initial Joker

Playing Caravan (6 8 10 K Strat)

This isn't a strategy I invented, I found it online. But I only every found it in posts that assumed I knew how to play already. So I wanted to put it here alongside a tutorial Also, just as a rule of measure for how weird this game is, we're only now getting to how to actually play the game ...

You're aiming to have the values of the bottom three card piles (your caravans) be higher than their matching top three values (your opponents caravans), while keeping your values between twenty and twenty-six (values outside of this are invalid).

You might notice that you can't place a card on a caravan that already has a card in it. This might be for a few reasons;

There's a difference between attaching a card to another, and stacking a card on top of another: Press the up and down keys to move along the various heights of a caravan. Face cards can only be attached, number cards can only be stacked

You can't place two number cards of the same value in the same caravan. But you can place as many of the same face card as you want in the same caravan

Place a 10 and a 6, or a 10 and an 8 in each caravan, attach a King to the 10 in 10/6 caravans, or to the 8 in 10/8 caravans. These will each bring your value up to 26. If you don't have any of the cards you need, discard something you don't want (like a Queen if you have any in your deck and are using them as null cards). It's worth having a handful of Jacks in your deck to use against your opponent

Beating No-Bark

I'm not certain, but I think No-Bark's deck has no 2's, Queens, or Jokers. He only has three to four Jacks, and two to three Kings. After you've placed your initial card in each of your caravans he'll use a Jack against you one or two times. Rarely three, very rarely none. After your first few moves he's very unlikely to use Jacks again. I only saw him using a king against three times out of thirty-five games. Sometimes he deliberately busts his caravans. I have no idea why he does this

The strat I use against him is to place 6's and 8's as my first card in each caravan, then replace any cards he removes. It's only after three to five moves that I actually start building my caravans. Unless he's particular nasty with his Jacks, or you're particularly unlucky with whichever cards you draw, you should be able to get to 26 in each of your caravans immediately. If not, don't forget to Jack or King any caravan of his that reaches 20

Conclusion

Caravan sucks

If I missed something or didn't explain something right I'll make edits

Peace and love

[silverheartlugia2000]

can someone help me brainstorm the next bit?

Danny was tired. More than tired, exhausted. Danny was the kind of tired that was so deep it looped right back around to constantly giddy. He sat in his chair at the Justice League meeting with a smile on his face and a vacant stare. The others were kinda giving him weird or concerned looks while he sang Twinkle Stars in his head cause the window kept distracting him. 

He should be paying attention to Hal who was talking, but his inner thoughts kept asking him if he could ask to go to Oa with the Green Lantern sometime cause, while he has been up around Earth’s space plenty of times now he’s rarely gone on trips off planet with anyone. Just because he’s wandered off during the trips once or twice they don't like bringing him unless they can rope him in the Fenton Fishing Line(™) that Jazz converted into what was basically a baby leash. He was almost 17! An adult! He didnt need no leash!!

Well except for when that happened…But he was better at it!! He couldn’t help it.. It just seemed to happen when he used up his powers a lot with no time to sleep or snack. Especially when he was still a new death, and it hardly ever happened anymore now that he was more experienced in managing his output! No one needed to know what his true core ghost form really looked like.. It just reflected how young he was as a ghost compared to everyone else he knew is all.

Heck Youngblood was almost 100 years dead. And while YB was still physically younger, he was still considered older than Danny! Apparently being a child ghost wasn’t quite the same as being the ghost OF a child. Eventually his core form should even out to reflect his death age in time..

Speaking of which he was hungry too, maybe when he gets home he could ask Mom for some of those Ecto cookies she hid away. She’s been putting them in the new ghost proof safe so Danny can't eat them all before dinner. They weren't nearly as good as Grampa’s but she has gotten better at not turning the food into ghosts, the hot dogs attack anything that even begins to twitch so that helps.

Wait, when was the last time he’d been home? There’d been an invasion going on the last week and the League was still scrambling with all the little things that happened because of that, looting, Lex trying to kill Superman while he’s tired, Joker’s jealousy popping up in a new attention grabbing scheme, more looting from low risk villains cause no one was around to stop them. Then the Big Three plus Flash getting pulled into another dimension temporarily. 

Lucky Danny was able to track them down and get them back home, though he missed the Watchtower by a longshot and landed somewhere in Kansas.. Future Master of Space and he still had trouble getting his Gate open to begin with sometimes. Though since it was so late when they came back they got to meet Superman's parents and spend the night. They were very nice, the mac n cheese they had for dinner that night was really good..

Maybe he should go home today, he didn't feel the giddy kind of tired anymore. He felt the bad kind of tired that happened just before that happened, he needed to go home to his family, his Mom would be happy to give him all the hugs he needed and Dad would sneak him snacks and Jazz and Sam and Tuck would let him nap and play all he wants until he feels ok enough to be his human age again. Maybe he could even go bug Dan for a bit.

He hasn't taken his meds lately either now that he thinks about it.. His travel box emptied a few days ago and he hasn't had time to get more, that's one good thing about being in the JL though, their own medical care and they actually had meds that work on weird metabolisms like his. Getting his anxiety and insomnia back under control had been a godsend after the two years he went without cause the accident made them not work anymore.

Just as this plan was finalized in his head the red lights and noise that mean bad things happening flashed and Danny loudly keens, curling into himself. Everyone is rushing off except for Superman and Batman who look at him worriedly. Tears prick his eyes and hands cover his ears, Superman obviously recognizes sensory overload with how strong the man's own are and Batman has so many Robins around Danny very much doubts he can miss an over tired teen nearing his limit.

But they have a job to do so with a deep breath Danny pulls himself together and takes off towards whatever is happening before the Justice Dads can call him out on it.

-

The fight itself shouldn't have been that hard especially since there were only a couple of them sent, the problem was that it was against one of the rarer rogues, and a magic one at that. Gentleman Ghost, he thinks? Which is why Danny got pulled along, cause of the power set. The guy might call himself a ghost but he didn't listen to Danny. Danny was the King! Danny was used to ghosts not listening, but most of the time that was his circle of frenemies who had known him since he was a new death, they claimed special rights as the ones who practically taught him ghost culture. They were more like extended aunts, uncles and siblings at this point. Except Spectra. Fuck Spectra..

This guy was more interested in his own shit and pissed at the fact that Batman outsmarted him on something again, what he didn’t know. The older ghost didn't even give him a second look, sure Danny didn't like flaunting his title and he wasn't able to fully use the Crown’s power for a few more centuries yet when he’d grown into it ghost wise but he was tired and getting pissed off. Mr Victorian is playing keep away and Danny is the only one that can keep up with him while Batman has to dodge things like walls and cars and the occasional blast of magic.

Things went to shit when he got hit. The magic hurt, he was used to being hurt seeing as fighting was practically socializing for a ghost, but there was just enough of the underlying feeling of electricity that made him tumble that last inch over the edge. 

He screamed.

It wasn’t a long one. Not nearly enough to get the full power in, a yelp of surprise more than a wail. But it was enough to blast the ghost unconscious and throw a few cars down the street, he was able to cut it off before he did more damage but it still felt bad that it happened. 

He felt bad that Batman had to arrest the ghost on his own, borrowing his thermos and catching the geezer so they could dump him on Constantine later, while Danny sat on the ground where he crashed, curled into himself and trying not to cry too loud. 

He felt more than saw, Batman coming back over to him and petting his hair softly, he was talking into the coms to someone but Danny didn’t care right now he just wanted to sleep. Danny flails for the hand that starts to retreat from its comfort. It comes back immediately and holds his and Danny is too tired to hold on anymore so he doesn't.

-

To say Batman is scared when Phantom gets hit is one thing. He’d seen the halfa take worse, it was the noise more than anything that scared him. He’d seen what Phantom’s Wail could do. And whatever had caused him to unleash it had to be bad. But he was glad the kid had enough awareness to cut it off immediately, his lessons on fine control with Canary were paying off. The fact that Phantom had shown clear signs of an incoming meltdown just half an hour before would have been enough to bench the kid from coming out at all if it wasn't for Constantine offering this mission instead. While the rest of the big hitters were busy with some kaiju-like monster that popped up on the other side of the world

Constantine had probably sensed Phantom’s exhaustion if the sudden diversion meant anything, cranky as the mage was to the rest of them, he had a soft spot for the kid, him and Marvel both. The two were as strong as any of the League, but they were still kids with way too much weight on their shoulders.

It almost didn’t work, Phantom kept insisting he was fine and could help, when John saddled up next to Batman and said something about an old artifact of magic power going up in a museum today, one that could be tempting for a particular rouge to steal if the talk he heard was anything to go by. Yes Batman had faced him alone before just fine but since the kid had a similar powerset, Phantom would be a big help on getting things done faster.

And that had been the turning point there. He has talked to Phantom’s sister before. She had told him at length when Danny first joined, his little tells and how to handle them. She and (Jason?Dick?) had been dating for a while at that point and Phantom had recently been recruited. It wasn’t unusual for Batman to feel threatened, between corporate sharks and kidnappers as Bruce to the endless supervillains as Batman. But it was rare that he felt the threats against him were justified, she wanted to protect her brother, and he’d be a hypocrite if he tried to argue that.

Phantom had a dual Obsession of Protection and Space, but Protection can be interpreted and sub divided in many ways, ghosts were possessive in general to what they saw as theirs and that's where the confusion was. Danny would Protect with all his might if there was danger yes, but specifically he preferred being Helpful more than anything. Even if it was only upgrading their equipment and defenses or even just flitting around fetching them things. It satisfied him either way.

Batman took a second to assess Phantom, swiping the thermos from his belt to contain the Gentleman Ghost. Really he should ask for one for himself, intangible villains were pains in the ass to contain..

He walks back to Phantom and runs fingers through his hair, fully set in Batdad mode, but unsure if the kid would tolerate anymore until he’s calmed back down.

“Oracle?”

“Here B.”

“Can you contact Nightingale? I’m bringing Phantom back to the tower, unable to tell if he’s physically hurt. But he’s clearly having a breakdown.”

“Like mind control, or RR up way past his no-sleep threshold?”

“I’m leaning towards the latter.” Batman does not sigh, cause that wouldn’t be a Batman thing to do. He does however move his hands away to secure the thermos and hit the remote control on the Batmobile, only for Phantom to whine and latch onto his wrist.

Batman quickly goes back to soothing the teen. Getting into a position to hoist him up when he was blinded by a bright light.

When Batman blinked the sparks out of his vision Phantom was no longer sprawled on the ground, instead Batman held a handful of black coils with a tuft of white.

-

(jazz when she gets to the tower) “Why did you let him go out if you knew he wasn’t ok?!”

“It was either let Constantine insist on chasing a literal phantom thief under my supervision, or let him fight a giant sea monster close to Korea.”

“....Ok fair..”

[dark-angel-of-muses]

A Selkie and A Succubus

A03 Link

"Linkkkkkkk. I'm hungry." Ravio's tail batted insistently against the selkie's leg, draping himself over Link's shoulder.

"Can't wait?" Link leveled a flat stare at his boyfriend. Ravio's little bat wings fluttered impatiently, and he made a big show of pouting.

"Fine. Here." Link set down the skillet he was frying eggs on and kissed the succubus on the cheek. Ravio trilled in delight. "Thanks for the snack."

Such a glutton. Link had given him sleepy cuddles this morning for a full hour. That was basically a three course meal for the succubus. Sure, the food might be more mild than others of his kind went for, but Ravio had admitted to never wanting anything spicier than some kisses. Even then, he preferred neck kisses to mouth kisses, citing grossness.

Even after getting his snack, Ravio clung to Link like a koala, tail snaking around his leg and squeezing in a miniature hug. Link rolled his eyes, but smiled all the same. Ravio was such a cuddle bug, in a way Link was 100% sure had nothing to do with the sustenance he got from affection.

“You’re going to have to get dressed and go to work eventually.”

“Nooooo,” Ravio whined, curling his tail tighter. “Sleep. And food.” His wings fluttered behind him.

“Guess that means we won’t have any rupees to spend on a date night this week,” Link teased. “I’ll just have to leave you all alone while I go dungeon crawling to pay for your lazy days.”

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” Ravio pouted, puffing out his cheeks and making sad puppy eyes. Still, the promise of money and dates was enough to spur him into his morning routine, pulling off oversized pajamas and donning his usual purple robes. There was a slit in the robes for his tail to curl out, and the back had been cut out from his shoulder blades to mid-back to make room for his wings. 

“See, was that so hard?”

“Your eggs are burning.”

“Shit!”

xxx

Ravio’s Rabbit Rentals was a two person outfit. Link explored dungeons, killed monsters, and collected everything that caught his interest while exploring. Then, Ravio would take the spoils and do his best to rent or sell Link’s items to any less experienced adventurers wanting an edge in their own quests. Link would complain that he did all the hard work while Ravio just stole his things to sell, but it was all for show. He wanted nothing to do with customer service or figuring out the market on how much magical items would be worth. Not to mention Ravio actually had to go out and do collection runs to get his rentals back, which seemed like no fun. So for all Link would whine, he was quite happy with the arrangement.

Ravio had a winning smile and perfect suck-up tone when he was on the clock. 

“You seem ruggedly handsome, like you could climb the cliffs of Death Mountain alone! With the Tornado Rod to help speed things along, I’m sure you could tackle the Tower of Hera.”

“Oh, you look so clever, Miss. Why not take a bomb bag rental? You seem like you could find so many ways to use them.”

Link didn’t get it, but he was happy he didn’t have to.

Some time later, Link was doing basic weapon maintenance, sharpening swords, refilling the mana on enchanted rings, when he heard it.

“You’re the local succubus, right?” A woman’s voice sounded.

“Ravio of Ravio’s Rabbit Rentals, that’s me! Would you be interested in our wares? I have a lovely fire rod with your name on it!” So overzealous in his sales pitches, that one.

“Actually, I was more interested in a service you provide.” Her tone was sultry, making Link roll his eyes. Sometimes customers would come in and try to flirt. Ravio usually took advantage of their interest to make them leave with arms full and wallets empty.

“A service? Oh, are you looking to rent? Or perhaps pawn, we are willing to do minor loans for dungeon loot!” Did they do pawn services? Eh, best not to think about it. Ravio was just responsible enough for Link to let him handle the business without oversight. Emphasis on ‘just enough’.

“I’m looking to rent,” The customer purred. Honest to god purred. Like a cat. Was she a werebeast? Link couldn’t help but peek his head from around the corner. Nope. Vampire. So she was just shameless.

“Well, if you want an itemized list of all rentals we have available or are expecting back within the next two weeks, I can go get the inventory log for you-”

“Oh I’m not looking for something in inventory. I’m looking to rent some time with you.” There was the sound of shuffling and cloth meeting cloth. Was she backing Ravio into a table?

“O-oh. Um. I don���t really? Do that sort of thing?” Ravio squeaked.

“C’mon, you’re a succubus. You’re going to say no to money and food? I heard you’d do anything for a quick rupee.” If it were in any other context, Link would agree. Ravio would probably eat glass for five rupees. But with the terrible flirtatious tone she was using…

Ok, that was it, Link was stepping in. “Excuse me, can I help you?” He made sure to bring his sword with him, and intentionally sheathed and unsheathed it to make an audible shink, smiling as the woman flinched back. Ravio let out an audible sigh of relief as he walked in.

“Huh? You didn’t tell me there were other people in here!” She looked accusingly at Ravio.

“Oh, did you not hear? This is my partner and supplier, Link. He is the source for all our wares. He’s braved Lynels, hordes of Daira, and even fell the evil sorcerer who kidnapped the princess some years back. He’s very talented.” Ravio took the chance to slip away from the customer’s reach and hide behind Link, reaching to squeeze Link’s right hand.

“Sorry about not finding what you want here. Ravio has a discerning palate.” Link smirked as she caught the underhanded insult, mouth opening and closing like a fish. To punctuate his point, Link leaned over and gave Ravio a peck on the cheek, never taking his eyes off the vampire.

If she had blood left in her veins, her face probably would have paled. Instead, her eyes just widened and she hurried to make her leave, accidentally stubbing her toe on the leg of a table in her scramble to leave as fast as possible.

“Thanks for the help, Link.” Ravio returned the kiss on the cheek, smiling gratefully. 

“No problem. I swear, your customers get the dumbest ideas.”

“I mean, I get it. I’m not really normal,” Ravio sighed, eyes cast to the floor.

“Hey, hey. What do I keep telling you? There’s nothing wrong with you.” Link cupped his hands under Ravio’s chin and gently pulled his gaze back up. “You can eat or not eat whatever you want, nobody else gets uppity about food preferences.”

“I know, I know,” Ravio put his hand over Link’s leaning his cheek into the touch. “Sometimes it’s just hard to remember when people like her come in. And it’s not like I avoid it, I know I get close to customers when I make sales pitches.”

“Hey, calling someone handsome or pretty is by no means free reign for someone to come in and ask for ‘services’.” Link pushed his forehead against Ravio’s. “Are you ok? Do you need to close the shop early?”

“No, I’m fine, thanks to you.” Ravio leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you for saving me, Mr. Hero.”

xxx

"That pelt you're wearing around your shoulders, it's selkie, right?"

Ravio shifted uncomfortably. Two belligerent customers in one day? Seriously? "Ah, yes, but-"

"I'll pay top rupee if you're willing to part with it. Those go for high prices, even without the monster they're attached to. I mean, that's potentially eternal servitude right there. Not to mention how high quality the magic inside is." When he had first seen the man come in, his thick wallet had excited Ravio. Now, dread was pooling in his stomach.

"This isn't for sale, but maybe I can point you to some wonderful magic tunics from the depths of a dungeon?" Ravio forced a smile on his face, trying to redirect.

"Hah, don't you worry. I'll spend enough to buy you a legion of servants to replace your selkie. If you need him for the food, I can ensure you'll be feasting on the finest love money can buy."

Ravio's eye twitched. "I don't need servants, and I'm perfectly content with my eating arrangement as is. Please look only at wares on display. Otherwise I'll need to ask you to leave."

"Now, now. Everyone has some price. Please, ask for anything your heart desires, I can make it happen-"

Ravio's tail snapped in anger, hitting the table next to him. "Sir. The thing my heart desires most in this moment is for you to shut the hell up, buy something that's actually for sale, then leave and never come back to my house again. If you want a selkie pelt so badly, go scrape up some stinking dignity and convince someone to give theirs to you. I doubt you ever can because you think no matter how atrocious you are, you can pay to make up for it. There's not enough rupees in the world that would ever have me tied to a sniveling, old money brat who waves around his wealth to make up for the inadequacy of every other thing about him. So either get something that actually has a price tag, or get out."

The man sputtered, red in the face. He tried and failed to make a comeback, then angrily tried to yank the pelt around Ravio's shoulders. Really? Stealing? Ravio stepped back, and whistled for backup. Sheerow swooped in, pecking the man relentlessly.

"Ow! Owowowowow!" The little white bird pecked the man onto the welcome mat and out the door, slamming the door behind him for good measure.

"You're such a good business partner, you know that?" His friend landed in his cupped palms, and chirped happily as Ravio snuggled him close to his face.

“That was kinda hot.” Link was leaning against the door frame, a grin splitting his face. Ravio flushed red and jumped, realizing he wasn’t alone.

“Ah! Sorry you had to see that. Do you want your pelt back?” Ravio adjusted the pelt around his shoulders. When they first started dating, Link gave it to him as a sign of trust. Link would still take it with him when he needed to swim in the oceans, but most of the time he left the soft pink fur in Ravio’s hands. Still, there were some nights when Link would take the pelt and hold it close to his chest, eyes foggy with awful memories. Ravio wanted him to feel safe and secure; his Hero deserved that much.

“Why would I? Clearly it's in good hands.” Link sauntered over and kissed into his hair. The succubus’ tail flicked and his wings fluttered. Link’s kisses were always so delicious; his boyfriend spoiled him with how well he ate.

“I won’t let anyone else touch it. You’re so important to me, you know that?” Ravio looked up at Link, feeling the affection burning in his chest. “Even if I’m a coward, I’ll still protect it with my life.”

“I know you will.” Link’s voice was filled with so much love and trust, Ravio felt the satiation of fullness as he drank up the words. 

Ravio truly was blessed.

[coral-myland]

Spent some time in the Savannah mines and got a good pile of pink diamonds and a ton of mystery geodes as they were one of the loot of the day. No red beryl. My last gem. The saga continues. BUT I have been happy with my steady progress getting all of the fish and bugs each season. Knocked out all the spring and summer fish and bugs (caught the orchid and ghost mantis!). The remaining artifacts and last three fossils will come when they come. Just enjoying the plodding year 5 ride toward rank A.

P.S. @coral-nerd I think it was some of Mateo’s luck that got me all the pink diamond and the two mantis!

[spacevixenmusic]

Unfairly Maligned Games, Vol. 2

Games I loved that got low scores, review bombed, or have some other weird negative stigma attached to them that I think is unfairly earned.

NOTE: I don't believe in giving games a number score or a letter grade. Maybe I'm just bad at criticism or very easy to please, whatever.

We Happy Few [2018]

Originally advertised as some kind of procedurally-generated stealth horror survival game that people kept insisting was "like BioShock" even though there is literally zero correlation or even vague resemblance to BioShock, this game's crowdfunded development process was a long hard rollercoaster ride through concept and scope changes, getting picked up by major studios and publishers, a constantly evolving marketing campaign, and a loud, rude blasting of negative press right before and right after launch due to bad take misinformation and some game-breaking bugs on Day One.

We Happy Few started as a Kickstarter project from Compulsion Games, a small studio known only for their previous game Contrast. In Contrast, you play as a child's silent imaginary friend in a cabaret dancer costume who can phase in and out of backgrounds to become a shadow on the wall and solve platforming puzzles. Working together, you help the child navigate through her emotions as her parents struggle through their own relation-shit in an early 1900s European port town. Seeing as their first game was stylish as hell and widely praised among indie crowds, it's no surprise that a Kickstarter for a new game from that studio became an instant success, so much so that it caught the eye of several big studios (Microsoft and Gearbox Publishing), and it quickly turned into a vastly bigger project with many more hands working on it. The proc-gen element was downtuned and streamlined, and the main emphasis of the game became about survival, stealth, and story.

And let me tell you. In terms of story, this game is phenomenal. The simple premise is that you play through the lives of three people living in 1950s-60s England, under a government that is forcing everyone to take these candy pills called Joy that make you instantly and excessively cheerful, so you can easily forget about all the horrible things that the government wants you to forget ever happened about The War, the Missing Children, and all the people still actively dying of malnutrition from the ongoing Famine and all that. The people are mandated to forget their worries, grin and bear it, pretend everything's just peachy keen, and if you refuse to take that pill, people will notice your un-cheerful behavior and call the police to track you down and beat you senseless. Can't have any Downers in our perfectly lovely happy town, now can we?

The game's art direction features two stark parallels between a dreary English village and early 60s-70s psychedelia (with a hint of A Clockwork Orange for good measure), and a soundtrack influenced by bands of the era, such as The Doors, The Beatles, The Byrds, etc. The dichotomy of looting dilapidated rural homes while avoiding plague-ridden peasants versus the rainbow streets and lava lamp light show sex dens in the cities is truly astonishing. It's a game about, funnily enough, Contrasts between the bright and cheerful life everyone is forced to think they're living, and the grim depressing reality that lies underneath. Many people initially assumed this meant the game had some kind of anti-drug message about not relying on your depression medication cause pills can't fix everything, but it's clear right from the get-go that's nowhere near the case. We Happy Few is a story about revisionist history, the pressure to conform, submission to a corrupt system that might not even know what it's doing, and the very British notion of Keeping Calm and Carrying On as if major atrocities hadn't just been committed in a massive world war.

Gameplay-wise, this is a strange hybrid of survival and stealth, with combat definitely being present, but taking a backseat for the most part. It's much easier to distract enemies than fight them, and many of the characters excel at hiding in plain sight, provided you don't do anything to make people suspicious, like running and jumping around or breaking into houses to raid them for food. You do have options and skill trees though, so the game does allow you to tailor it to your own playstyle to a degree. I had significantly more fun playing it slow and methodical, sneaking up and choking out enemies, and watching NPCs bump into each other awkwardly while quoting ancient English literature for no apparent reason. Taking it slow, reading every scrap of paper and Journal I found, my final playtime was about 50~ hours.

Again though, let me gush about the story for a second. The base game has three full chapters, each of which has you play as a different character with different strengths and game mechanics (including such wildly inventive ideas as the burden of motherhood taking up inventory space if you don't periodically check on the baby you have to leave at home, and carefully maintaining a balanced blood sugar level so you don't collapse?!). Their stories are all deeply connected in ways that aren't immediately apparent but are cool as hell once the pieces of the puzzle come together. Each chapter more or less takes place at the same time, but the events always play out slightly differently, because memory-altering drugs fuck with your sense of reality and make us all question the reliability of each narrator. If that wasn't already cool enough, the game also features three DLC packages where you play as three ADDITIONAL characters, each of whom is also a recognizable face in the main story if you're paying attention. These DLCs add even more neat mechanics and open up the story events even more in and around the main game. They were honestly all an absolute blast to play, especially if you were already as invested in the story as I was. And the subject material goes all over the place, touching on such highly specific topics as 60s science fiction, gay lovers, Beatlemania, trippy drug-induced murder mysteries, the British occupation of India, and plenty more. I can't stress enough what a unique storytelling experience this game has to offer. It really is unlike anything else I've ever played! But alas, we should probably talk about why nobody else seems to be as enthused about the game as I am...

Aside from the huge misunderstanding about the game's message, We Happy Few was bombed with criticism on Day One due to some major bugs that hadn't been ironed out - remember, for a $60 game backed by some big names in the industry, it was still very much an indie passion project from the start, and it's clear it wasn't given the full AAA treatment at all. Several big-name Game Reviewers (a field I detest almost as much as Cartoon Reviewers) ripped into the game for its bugs, and while I can't fault people for being mad at broken quests and at least one full-on softlock, not everyone experienced those bugs, and many of them were ironed out in later patches. It's almost like chasing those Day One reviews and videos are a bad idea for people who want to Enjoy Games. Sadly, first impressions are all that seem to matter anymore in gaming, so those early negative reviews still sting to this day. But people out there will give games like Skyrim a perfect 10/10 despite a significant number of similar bugs (hell, they're almost a charm of the series at this point), so why should an indie game not be given the same graces?

In closing? We Happy Few is a phenomenal story in a completely fresh setting that really doesn't feel like anything else before it. The game has been criticized to hell and back for its early bugs or for "boring" gameplay or whatever the Review outlets chose to report, but to me it stands out as an extremely unique experience in a sea of Lowest Common Denominator games. I'd rather play an imperfect or buggy game with a unique or highly niche premise than yet another polished piece of pristine pop pleasure, and I genuinely think people would enjoy games like We Happy Few if they just lowered their goddamn expectations for once in their lives.

[fridge-reviews]

Cryptmaster

Developer: Paul Hart, Lee Williams, Akupara Games Publisher: Akupara Games Steam Deck Compatibility?: Playable Rrp: £19.79 (Epic) and £20.99 (Gog.com, Humble and Steam) Released: 9th May 2024 Available on: Steam, Epic, Humble and Gog.com Played Using: Keyboard Approximate game length: 14+ hours

Back in my review of ‘The Textorcist’ I said I didn’t know why I found myself drawn to typing games. I’m still no closer to a specific answer but I do at least recognise it’s not all typing games that appeal, there has to be another element to it. In the case of Cryptmaster it appeals to another love I have, namely the dungeon crawler genre. Having briefly seen this game being played by Yahtzee Crowshaw (known for Fully Ramblomatic and Zero Punctuation) I felt I had to check it out for myself.

When you start the game  you get to choose between turn based or real time, the game recommends playing in real time, this choice specifically relates to combat and will come up later in the review. 

You play as four corpses that have been freshly risen by the Cryptmaster. Each of the corpses (which I will now refer to as characters) have a name which is shown next to their portrait, this name not only lets you know who they are but also represents their health. Each letter is effectively a hit point and when all the letters of a name are gone that character is dead… again. Not to worry though as they can be brought back by using altars that you can find on each floor of the dungeon.  Below each characters name is a space for a word that will be revealed as you gather letters (more on that later).

During the tutorial stage along with all the basic instructions for the game you’ll also gain an item called the ‘Soulstone’ which is used to store up ‘soul energy’. You gain this soul energy by many different means such as collecting bugs, fishing, defeating enemies, solving riddles and winning games of Whatever. This soul energy is used to perform actions in and out of combat as well as acting as a currency.

When you encounter an enemy you're shown their name along with an hourglass. When the sand in the hourglass runs out they perform their attack. If you have chosen to play in real time this happens, unsurprisingly, in real time. However, if you choose to play in turn based the hourglass empties a bit for each letter you type.

Combat requires you to type which action you want your characters to perform. Once an action is performed that character won’t be able to do more until their cooldown timer is complete. However, there are synergies between the characters that can make these actions more potent, you just need to work out which words will work best. That being said, after a while the enemies will start to impose conditions such as not allowing you to type a specific letter or getting stronger if a letter is typed. Something to bear in mind though is that other than the initial moves you gained in the tutorial all the actions cost souls to perform. If you run out of souls and attempt to perform an action that requires them it will knock a letter off that character's name.

Once you kill an enemy you get to select which three letters from their name to add to your character's current words. Those three letters have to be next to each other though, if you wish to make the game a bit easier you can gain additional letters by increasing the number of ‘Loot Fingers’ you get.

The collection of letters has been mentioned a lot so far and is going to come up even more, so I feel now is the time to cover what those letters are for. The letters you gain give hints to what the word is that your characters have. The words associated with the characters either appear with a white background or a black one. If the background is white that means that once the word is complete (or you successfully guess what it is) it will unlock a new action that can be performed. If the background of the word is black then you unlock a memory relating to that character.  You gain letters in several ways, defeating enemies, successfully guessing the contents of chests, solving riddles and fishing.

You may be wondering how you’re supposed to remember all the words you’ll inevitably unlock as you play, especially for four characters. Fear not, this game comes with a handy list that pauses the game and allows you to (hopefully) make the best choice. You just need to press the number associated with that character on your keyboard and the word list will appear.

Unlike most dungeon crawlers you don’t gain experience by killing enemies or completing quests. Leveling up occurs only when you unlock a certain number of memories. Upon gaining a level you get to add another letter to that character's name, thus increasing their health.

As you explore the dungeons you will occasionally find chests, upon finding one you have to type ‘chest’ (or some other version such as container or box) to open it. Once you do this the Cryptmaster appears and the box turns to face him. You can tell him how to interact with the object in order to gain clues as to what item is in there. The Cryptmaster can be told to; touch, look, taste, sniff, remember, use and wear the object and he will give you a description or a vague memory associated with it. For example, when told to look at the object he told me it was a ball with a frayed string attached and two circles at the end. When told to remember it, he said he remembered looking into many of these. I won’t give away what the answer was because there are only so many items in the game to find.  You get four questions to ask before he demands to know what your answer is and if you get it wrong then you’ve lost your chance. If you get it right the letters of the word you typed get added to your characters current words.

You’ll also sometimes find skulls on a pillar of rocks, these skulls will give you a riddle to solve. Solving riddles works similarly to chests, though instead of the Cryptmaster taking control a skull gives you a riddle and you must try and solve it. If you do so successfully the letters from the answer are added to your characters current words as well as netting you sixty souls.

There are places in the dungeon where you can fish. Fishing gives you a single letter that you choose from the name of the fish that you’re catching.

Within this game is also an optional card game called Whatever that involves filling out the letters of the cards you have in your hand from a line of letters. For each letter that appears in your card's name that card will attack your opponent. If the name becomes completely filled the special ability listed on the card will activate. The first to hit zero life loses, it's very simple and I will admit I spent far too long playing this.

I can’t talk about this game without mentioning the visual style of the game. There aren’t many games that can make pure monochrome work but this one definitely does it. The voice acting of the Cryptmaster is just so wonderfully rich and so full of life (ironically). Part of the reason I played for so long was just so I could keep hearing it.

Truly this game has so much to give and is far more than the sum of its parts. I absolutely implore you to give this game a go even if you struggle with typing games, I promise you won’t be disappointed with what you find.

If this appeals to you perhaps try;

Typing of the Dead: Overkill The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibba Legend of Grimrock 2

---- If you’d like to support me I have a Ko-fi, the reviews will continue to be posted donation or not.

[loquaciousquark]

Two hilarious misadventures tonight.

First, in the basement of the Stormshore Tabernacle, Tav misty steps into one of those full-grated side rooms to open a sarcophagus. She has a strength of 8, so three inspiration later, I have her drink a Colossus potion for the advantage. The sarcophagus opens, I loot, and I'm ready to leave. Except that was my last Misty Step scroll, and Dimension Door won't work because the Helldusk boots prevent the wearer from being moved by a foe, and apparently Tav's enough her own enemy to count. Barefoot, we try again--except now DD won't work because Tav's no longer Medium, she's Large, thanks to the Colossus potion. Fine--how about a Disguise Self scroll on top of that? Seems good in theory, until you discover that even gnomes count as Large under Colossus. Fine. My one Reduce/Enlarge scroll it is. That does work, and as a Medium-sized Reduced Disguised Colossus gnome who's not wearing any shoes, Tav Dimension Doors at last to freedom. The sarcophagus loot was one Elixir of Heroism, by the way.

Second, I finally make my (booted, human, normal-sized) way to the Thieves' Guild to talk to Ninefingers. While there I'd like to talk to Mol, except she's not where she should be! I'm terrified at first that something's bugged, then eventually wonder if she might have maybe fallen through the--yep, there she is. Under the floor.

I have no idea how to get her out. It's not a reachable or walkable area and you can't jump to it; she's too far away for Dimension Door (and isn't an ally anyway); and she doesn't react to Fog Cloud or arrows of darkness, both of which vanish if cast where she's standing instead of forcing her to run closer. Just clicking to Talk tells me she can't be reached.

Finally, I have Gale cast Telekinesis on her. The game keeps telling me the path is interrupted, but after a thousand hopeless clicks I find one pixel I can throw her at within normal terrain. Mol takes two points of damage, but is freed from the cupboard under the stairs, and the entire Guild aggros on me immediately. I spend the next three turns meticulously fleeing combat up the stairs--Tav nearly dies to opportunity attacks from one group near the door--but we finally escape alive, if not unscathed. After a moment to catch our breath, we pop back in to find Mol perfectly cheerful and alive, if standing in a pool of her own blood.

She was originally trapped on the other side of that stone wall behind her, under the wooden beams, near the back wall. She may not be up there listening to Sticky Dondo repeat "See anything of yours? No, you didn't!" a thousand times a minute, but at least here she can yell at me for wrecking all her plans with Raphael in a few hours. I'd always heard kids were expensive, but man, I had no idea.

[funky-fox-fics]

Prompt: ender

The elytra’s for Impulse; that’s what they’ve agreed on.

Skizz’s wings allow him to glide and soar already, so he’s only come along for the free diamond armor and enchantment books. But Impulse gets the trophy of the End ships, the elytra bug. 

The first ship they find together, Skizz waits in one of the End city’s rooms as Impulse carefully bridges over to the ship. Impulse glances up every so often, and Skizz’s wings twitch, ready to—well, at least catch him. They both don’t want to see if Skizz can really carry Impulse’s weight all the way over to the End ship, and neither of them want to chance it, so he’s bridging over, and Skizz is watching him.

The frigid air of the End sinks its claws into his lungs. Puffs of breath hang in the air like clouds. 

He finally reaches the ship, and he breaks the purpur walls, steps inside the treasure room, only to be greeted with a shulker. It almost blends into the purpur behind it, if not for the way its shell twists open and reveals the fleshy head beneath. Its beady eyes reflect the bright glow of the end rod, and they fix on him as he enters.

It spits out a few bullets, dry and cold. He stabs one, and it explodes into a puff of smoke and dust. A slice through two—they dissipate, clouds of white dust vanishing into the air. He makes his way forward, slicing through each bullet. 

The shulker’s almost shivering, little green-yellow body trembling where it crouches in its shell. It closes its shell with a dull thump as he approaches. Lifts it a moment to peer at him, and then—

He brings his sword down, cleaving through the shell.

The shulker—gurgles? A gurgling shriek, like a dying Ghast, a little. It has no more shell to open and close like a chest. It is exposed. With a stab he kills the shulker itself, and the bottom of the shell and its tiny yellow body disappear in a puff of smoke. 

He picks up the shells—two, good—and turns to the item frame.

Skizz will get the loot from these chests—he’s got enough, and anyway he’s more interested in the bug pinned to the frame. He remembers how it looked from the librarian’s old books; knows this is what he wants, knows this is the trophy of the End.

Impulse pops the elytra bug from the frame and allows it to scuttle onto his hand, its black eyes catching the light and refracting it a thousandfold. Its wings buzz a little. It lets out a small sound, cricket-sharp, and it clicks its mandibles together. Its carapace shimmers in the harsh light from the end rod, shimmers a thousand colors. Its eyes, he thinks, are a little like the shulker’s, or maybe an endermite’s. 

How had it gone?

He lifts the bug to his shoulder, and it lets out a little… squeal? Chirp? A sound, clicking and cheerful. It scuttles onto its shoulder, crawls onto his back, and then—

Its claws dig in sharply, piercing skin, and something in him tells him that it is piercing into code as well, becoming an extension of him, becoming part of him—

There’s a sound, a sharp sound, and then suddenly something flares open on his back and it is an elytra.

Warily, Impulse—Impulse controls the elytra, and it flares open and slides closed. The bug does not chirp. The bug hangs on, still sharp against his shoulder blades, its wings now his own.

He makes his way up the flight of stairs, up to the deck, up to the bow of the ship. Collects the dragon head, even though Skizz has at least three by now. Stands on the bow, looking over the vast Void, the inky expanse of black. His elytra flexes.

The frigid air, stale without any winds to push it around, whispers in his ear. The world beckons.

He's been waiting for this.

He steps off the bow, elytra spreading wide, and finally, like Skizz, flies.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Shell 4.4 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

 Or she’d ask me for advice on what to do when she got an F on a spelling test.

Spelling Tests. One of those things that seem so very important for life until suddenly you don't need to worry about it anymore. :rofl:

 The extent of our bonding was in the gym, him holding the punching bag in position while shouting at me that I was doing something wrong, staying grimly quiet if my form, my timing, the raw power of my hits were all flawless.

Some people just shouldn't have kids.

“When you throw a punch barehanded, it doesn’t leave your hands pristine.  A few good swings, you connect solidly with someone’s face, someone’s teeth, and it tears the fuck out of your knuckles.  It was at my father’s place that night, washing and cleaning my hands, when I saw it.  It wasn’t just blood leaking out of my torn up knuckles, but there was the darkness too, like wisps of really black smoke.  You hear about the trigger event, you might think it’s all about rage or fear.  But I’m a testament that it can be just the opposite.  I didn’t feel a fucking thing.”

Very different sort of trigger event.

“These guys know already, but I don’t think I mentioned it to you,” he said to me, “I got into this for Aisha.  My mother lost custody of her after child services stepped in, so Aisha’s living with my father now.  Problem is, he’s not an ideal parent.  It’s been nearly three years, and he still doesn’t know what to do with a daughter, so they mostly ignore each other.  But she’s acting out, getting into trouble, and she needs someone watching over her that isn’t him and isn’t our mother.  I turn eighteen in June, and when I do, I plan to get my mother and father’s parental rights terminated and apply to become Aisha’s guardian.  To do that, I’m going to need money.”

Have the Undersider with the most directly sympathetic immediate motives be the one that reveals their backstory to the reader first. Also fits Brian's observed personality so far that he'd talk first, I think, reciprocating Taylor, etc.

My mother made it clear she’s going to fight it every step of the way. 

Why bitch? You already lost your daughter, you're hardly losing her again.

“I think what you’re doing is very noble,” I said. “No,” Brian almost sounded offended at the idea. “I’m just doing what I have to.  She’s family, you know?”

:cackle: I find it very fitting Taylor goes 'very noble' and Brian's like 'wtf, no?!'

“You’ll have to show me,” I said. “Actually,” he paused, “You’re the person I was most interested in showing it to.  Your costume is pretty cool, and I was wondering if you had any suggestions on where to go?”

If I didn't know(?) from fics that at this point Brian isn't into her, you could almost take this as an indication he is, or at least a hint or w/e. But I'm probably just thinking too hard.

Alec ran his fingers through his hair, which I took to be a sign of stress or worry.  It was a rare thing, to see him as anything but bored or half distracted.  As if to confirm my thoughts, he said, “I don’t want tens of thousands of spiders just lurking below me, making spider noises and climbing upstairs to crawl on me while I sleep.”

*snort*

“Okay,” I said.  Money didn’t hold any sway over me, really.  I mean, big numbers could make my eyes widen, but at the end of the day, I had no plans to spend my ill-gotten gains.

Does Taylor ever really play around with her villainous loot?

There was a note beside it.  ‘Saw it, seemed very you.  Consider it a belated welcome present.  Brian.’

Very nice of him, actually.

“I-uh, don’t know what to say.” His forehead creased, “Is it okay?  I was thinking, maybe giving you a rock with a dead bug inside it wasn’t the nicest-” “It’s perfect,” I interrupted him, “Really.  Thank you.”  I never knew what to say when getting a gift.  I always worried my thanks sounded false, forced or sarcastic, even when they were genuine. Impulsively, I gave him the briefest of hugs.  It seemed like the only way I could make my gratitude clear.

God, Taylor is just so starved for affection, friendship and...

“Hey!” a voice from behind me startled the wits out of me, “No romance in the workplace!”

:rofl:

“I think…” Brian said, weighing his words carefully, “It would be a very good idea to check on the money, ASAP.”

Cue the ominous music.