#Thought I posted these 2 weeks ago but I didn't whoops

[melancholicdavi]

Back to back

[leidensygdom]

Ok, artfight thoughts time! In bullet points for readability's sake!

I've beaten my record for art points/sizing this year! I made 16 artworks on 2021, 38 in 2022, 57 in 2023, and 55 in 2024. (It's been technically 2 less in 57,but I had a couple of pictures with extra characters in 2024)

However, out of these 57 from 2023, there were 14 fullbodies, 8 halfbodies and 36 portraits.

This year I have done 20 portraits, 15 halfbodies and 25 fullbodies- Which did take quite more time than last years' portrait rain! I wish I could've at least given the remaining revenges a portrait. I got 2542.75 points for it!

I've received a bit over 60 drawings this year, which is def a record. First time I end up with an actual negative ratio- 45%. It's been a fight to keep it up.

(if i hadn't got food poisoning, an uti and three periods in july maybe i'd have got the chance to get that up to 50% i've been in spain with and without the S dfhguhdf)

This year has been very enjoyable, besides being sick for a bunch of it. A lot of art- Some of which I've shared, some I'll share once it gets posted. Very honoured about it!

However, it's also the first year I've had to report a bunch of stuff, which (admittedly) has not been handled well by the moderation team. I got a traced attack and a kink-related attack (which i do not allow), I've had friends get the same, and a friend had a whole character traced and stolen. Most of these reports did not really get handled, and even the art thief didn't get banned. That's been quite stressful!

Out of all my attacks, 48 have been revenges and only 7 have been attacks I started myself. I had a list of well over 30 people I wanted to attack, which I barely managed to scratch the surface of

@totesnotaustralian did a wonderful sheet to track artfight data and such, and I have some stats from it! (Ignore the revenge number, I messed up the sheet there jgxhdhjf)

While my first weeks were almost team stardust (friendly fire hell was real), a lot of the later attacks were for Seafoam! And... Here's the character data- With how much they've been drawn each year and in total!

Some fun details and tendencies from this thing:

Vyxander has been drawn the most this year, with 13, which is also the most I've ever got a character drawn in a single artfight. Argyros followed up with 12 on his debut year. Previously, the record was at 10- Which the Onirist got on their debut year.

Some of the new characters this year were fairly popular (like Argy at 12, Starborn at 6). Older characters (other than Vyxander) have been drawn far less in favour of the new ones. Yxala and Relent got 3 attacks each- Which is surprising, given they were the main picks previous years! Poor polycule!

Urion keeps being my most drawn character at a whooping 24, having been drawn 8 times each year. Their post campaign version was more popular on their first year, but has been drawn just 3 times this one- But it's been wonderful art anyhow!!

On the underdogs: Areel has been drawn just once on his debut year (understandably, given his wild armor). Laestis has actually not been drawn, it was a NPC of hers who did, which I counted as a Lae drawing. Osten has been drawn 5 times--compared to being the only one to not get art last year. Mythannae and Yden did not get any art, despite Yden winning that popularity poll I ran a while ago.

and uh, that's quite the long post. I have a lot of art to share from Artfight- Keep an eye for it in this month, because it's quite the backlog!! If you've made it down here, thank you for putting up with this long boy

[thirteenemeraldcats]

I come bearing random fic asks! 1) tell us about your current wip(s)! 2) what's your writing process like? 3) I think you mentioned you have a background in psychology — how much does that influence your writing?

Hello my beautiful friend!!

Thank you so much for sending me these! I have been sitting on this for days because I wanted to banish 'thought that i was young' from my WIPs before answering lol

1.) Now that THAT'S published (and taken most of my WIP wordcount with it *sad violin noises*) there's 3 fics I'm actively poking at, the chunkiest is a Sam-and-Jamie-BFFS-agenda-6-conversations-they-might-have-had-and-one-they-definitely-didn't which I'm pretty sure I've posted a snip of SOMEWHERE before whoops. The working title was too long for me to cope with, to the extent that it managed to override my inability to make my mind up about anything, and is now called 'i said, maybe' - a line I've gleefully pinched from Wonderwall by Oasis! I like it for this fic because *gestures at working title* BUT ALSO Wonderwall is the song Sam sings at karaoke in 1x07 'Make Rebecca Great Again' and the Manchester connection tickles me greatly!

There's a non-angsty, short-ish (I'm honestly shocked) fic that fell out of my brain nearly fully formed a couple of weeks ago (because almost everyone I knew was either talking about or having birthdays) which ALSO has a title 'because he had no say in it (no say in it at all)', which is almost definitely going to be posted next (and hopefully a LOT sooner than the time-space between 'i learned to walk while he was away' and 'thought that i was young').

The only other thing I'm actively poking at right now is in the outline stage, it is also short-ish (please PLEASE stay that way) but is back to the angst-fest that is apparently all my brain wants to spit out. It's Jamie-centric. It involves a cat :)

2.) Honestly at this point my writing process is best described as:

(sound warning)

ANYWAY

(My actual answer about my writing process is that I love planning. Very much. Stretching the dough into spaghetti is where the problem lies 🫠)

3.) I do indeed have a background in Psychology! Like any undiagnosed-in-denial-17-year-old-DUMBASS, I studied Psych right out of high school due to a combined and truly harebrained motivation of 'what IS going on up there' and 'wow I love systematically studying, analysing and mimicking human behaviour [no underlying NOTHING going on up there no siree]' and wound up with a four year degree. NOW, my background is purely theoretical, I have never been registered as/worked as a Psychologist, so I'm not violating any ethical codes by using my knowledge for evil applying my Psych training to fictional stories/characters. Because the answer to 'how much does that influence your writing' is. SO MUCH. Not necessarily intentionally, there's only one fic in the extended-mountainous-WIP-pile that's explicit about Psych stuff (I'm giving Dani Seasonal Affective Disorder whoops), but psychology is one of those fields that once you're trained in it you can't really ever un-know it. Unfortunately for me, and everyone that I meet, there's forever a predisposing/precipitating/perpetuating/protective biopsychosocial model being drawn up in my head whenever someone exhibits any kind of behaviour my forebrain finds moderately interesting. (This doesn't happen with online friends DON'T WORRY [in truth it's only because I can't physically see you all- I AM SO SORRY- I am not in control of this]).

Honestly, I think a big part of it is just that my particular brand of pattern-recognition-AuDHD has been granted auto-inserted citations and gone mad with power.

Take Jamie, beloved stress ball that he is, he has so much psycho-analysis potential that I'm forever torn between wanting to write a dissertation on the various comorbidities that could be floating around in that guy's head, having a Watsonian v Doylist argument with myself about ~artistic intentions~, having to suspend disbelief for the sake of storytelling because I've been cursed with knowledge (gleefully and enthusiastically sought out and paid for knowledge) and just wanting to enjoy the story/character as they're presented/as I'm writing it.

Applying actual Psychology to fictional characters is like trying to tie a balloon to a moving rollercoaster, for the simple fact that they're not real; their actions and motivations and reactions are scripted and rehearsed and performed.

I'm doing it anyway :)

[letapollojusticesayfuck]

smile for the camera (and keep your fingers crossed) Chapter 2: Interrogations, Interviews, and Impromptu Not-A-Dates

So instead of the food trucks, he’d bought a sandwich and a soda from the convenience store (and maybe a magazine too, shut up, he needs the physical proof that yes, he had in fact kissed Klavier Gavin). He’d also bought a pair of nondescript sunglasses and a baseball hat, in the hopes that he’d have a good enough disguise to head back to the office without being recognized. What Apollo Justice had failed to account for, however, was the fact that unlike in the movies, paparazzi aren’t stupid.

Well. Whoops! Didn't mean to take so long to post this chapter, but...here we are, more than a whole year later. Hopefully the chapter's interesting enough to make up for it?

In all seriousness, thank you so much to everyone who's read, commented, and reminded me that there are people out there waiting for the continuation of the story. Somehow I thought I'd already posted the start of this chapter?? Maybe I just thought about doing it so much that I thought it had happened already.

But anyway...I'm going to make sure the gap between this chapter and the next is significantly shorter--you guys deserve to not have to wait for annual fic updates, lmao

As ever, huge thanks to @cubedmango for providing some incredible spot art! And for understanding the "oops, what do you mean i didn't post that?" moment I went through like two weeks ago.

[viharistenno]

Hey, I'm super tired right now and can't decide which of the unpublished fic asks I wanna ask most, so I'm gonna give full rein to you and say, answer the ask you like best about the WIP you like best! (Hoping for W13 but even if not, I'd like to hear about your writing!)

My dear Friend, have I got news for you. You asked for WH13 and I will give it to you. It's gonna be personal, but I am totally okay with sharing it when people ask, as all my writing is really personal for me in the end and I love all of them.

It was 6 and a half years ago, in April, 2017. An idea of a scene bugged me to death, my mind said THERE IS NO WAY Myka saw coffee in that dreamlike state with the red light in Buried. It had to be Helena somehow. That was the base. What made me actually start it (as always) was a feeling. At that time I was in a relationship for ~5 years and felt the wobble. I tried every thing I could think of at that time but in a lot of sense I was young and inexperienced. This was my therapeutic wishful thinking fic where I sort of made her Helena at the end of Instinct and wrote down what I wanted her to do and/or say. I did not expect I'll actually predict part of the situation but here we are (whoops). So on a sunny April afternnon I sat down and wrote 6 pages in 2 hours which is I think my all time record still. I would have written more but I had to go for a meeting. Later I wrote some more in the coming days / weeks, I got somewhere around 7k words but I think I only wrote the scene which I thought about a lot later (I do have it, I checked now!). 7 months later we broke up and against my hopes she never found her way back to me. She is better at moving on than I am and when she go together with a guy, I was devastated and even left tumblr and writing for a while. (But not before I wrote the prequel because I am very dramatique and I honestly love this about myself.)

I came back though but my relationship with B&W in reading and especially writing is only starting to recover (hence my decision to participate in the advent) but I do love the people in this fandom.

I have 10 119 words written, the longest I ever had in one fic and I had an idea about a plot that was just forming and I am so sad I wasn't able to write it down but for years it was too close and then at one point it became too distant. I think if I get myself to rewatch WH13 I might be able to continue it but I am gathering the strenght for that :) I think if I ever continue I'll post it in parts where stuff is resolved at that moment and when I finish another plot point I' upload those again. I wanted Helena to start sorting some stuff out with Myka before I throw them in some seriously angsty (but it would be fun too, cause it's me) Warehouse shenanigans and I didn't exactly get there yet.

I hope this satisfies some of your curiosity, I honestly feel I wanted to talk about it so thanks for "making me" :)

[infamousmonkey-cat]

I wasn't gonna do a reaction post this week for reasons that will probably become obvious but then I was annoyed at myself for not doing one yesterday, because I would have felt like SUCH a smartie pants for predicting that Ed was gonna fish up one of the bottles, and now I just have to hope that you will believe me that I did predict that in the privacy of my own mind (though I owe it all to that one post from weeks ago that was like "what if a fisherman found the bottles" so I can't really take credit but ANYWAY). But yeah thoughts below cut

This got kind of absurdly long whoops. Also I am inevitably going to say stuff that people disagree with but man I am begging you to be gentle with me. I am just trying to work through some of my feelings about the show and other people are going to have different feelings and that is FINE and nobody is under attack here and there is room for different opinions peace and love

Quick disclaimer: I haven't been reading a ton of meta or diving into the tag or anything, so if I say something wildly off about the fandom response at any point, it's based on vibes from what's been on my dash and I may have got the wrong end of the stick there.

I'll go ep by ep for the most part but this point applies to both eps, so I'll dive in first: I seem to be in a minority within the more active parts of the fandom in that I truly do not have strong feelings about Izzy one way or the other. I do personally feel that his characterisation in season two is not consistent with that in season one, HOWEVER 1) I have not expended a ton of mental energy on doing a deep dive into his s1 characterisation, so I'm willing to believe I've missed stuff [not actually convinced of this but don't care enough to put my foot down about it] and 2) it simply does not bother me. I consider Izzy to be a secondary character that they've decided to somewhat retool in between seasons, and I am basically fine with it. You know who else is different this season? Jim! It seems pretty obvious to me that the development of BOTH these characters is due to the influence of the actors, and honestly, that happens in TV. I DO understand people's frustration that a character who espoused views and behaviours that were fundamentally at odds with the whole moral premise of the show has been rehabilitated so easily, buuuut... I don't personally want a version of this show where Izzy's rehabilitation arc is given tons of screen time, either, so I am okay with just accepting it. ALSO, this s2 version of his character--while not necessarily feeling entirely earned--is considerably more fun to me! I'm really enjoying his bitchy little one-liners and his drag act and whatever. To make a comparison, I did see some complaints early on that Oluwande's relationship with Zheng felt rushed, but to me they fully sold it with their performances: it was easy to read between the lines that there had been a growing attraction between them for a while. Point being, I think we need to be okay with allowing some of the secondary character/relationship development to be elided, because it is not necessarily a priority to have it all put on screen in front of us.

Anyway, moving on to ep 6: I don't have a huge amount to say about the bulk of this episode. For the most part I really enjoyed it. I think Ned Low is a great send-up of the monologuing villain with a lot of psychosexual baggage, and I loved the way that was resolved. I'm probably the only person in the world who didn't already know this, but I looked up Hellcat Maggie because the name rang a bell, and she was a member of the Irish-American Dead Rabbits Gang in the 1800s, which was also known as the Mulberry Boys, and their enemies were the supporters of the anti-immigration Know Nothing party. Supposedly she used to file her teeth down to points. I am not making any of this up. [Bob Dylan voice] Go home and look it up on WIKIPEDIA*

Anyway: the party planning/coconut shack date, Calypso's Birthday and the Ned Low showdown all worked great for me. Some of the stuff--Ed shoving Stede behind him and begging Ned to torture him instead--was honestly a LITTLE bit tropey for my tastes, but hey, they're classics for a reason. I kind of think it would have been interesting to see the opposite dynamic (though of course we do see Stede trying to protect Ed in his own way later in the episode): we've already seen this kind of thing from Ed back in 1x09 with the British, so a role reversal might have been a bit more interesting to me (since this season has been so much about role reversal), but like this is a very minor niggle.

I think that Stede's disposal of Ned worked narratively and wasn't inconsistent with his character (I get the vibe that some people think it was?), and I think that Ned's line about Stede being a "pet" and Ed only liking him for his "bumbling amateur status" was some really rich stuff (and a callback to the QAR crew's description of Ed and Stede's relationship back in 1x06). And of course the whole "pet" motif has been running through season two as well: Stede's callback to doggy heaven, Ed's cat bell, even Wolf the bunny. There's something really interesting there, but I don't know if there's enough time left in the season to really get to grips with it?

Moving on to the sex scene: here I seem to be a bit out of step with my own small fandom circle, because I had mixed feelings at best about this. I've seen the argument that the show was obviously framing it as being romantic, with the fireworks etc.; I guess that's what bothers me about it, because to me it was so obviously... off. To be clear, I don't think it was in any way non-consensual or anything like that, and hey, the kiss, out of context? Amazing! But IN context--Stede has JUST had his first real kill, which has been framed by the narrative and the other characters as a big deal. Also framed as a big deal: Ed asking to take things slow in ep 5. Ed comes to Stede to "talk things through", and brings up his own most significant trauma--the death of his father (right after we saw a super quick flashback to some of Stede's own dad-related trauma)--and Stede cuts him off with a forceful kiss. To me, it feels kind of obvious that their first sexual encounter is being linked with violence and childhood trauma in a way that is not, like, fun or sexy or romantic TO ME, regardless of how the rest of the scene is shot and intercut (which is not me making a moral judgment on anyone else's feelings about this scene; just stating my own emotional reaction to it). IF the show wants us to find this hot/romantic, then it didn't work for me and I found it jarring. If the show wanted us to find this kind of destabilising and compromised, then it worked for me but I feel like we deserved better!

SO. Episode 7. I'm just going to be super upfront right at the top: this episode really bummed me out and I didn't like it. Not saying I hated every minute of it or that nothing worked for me, but overall I didn't enjoy it. I saw on the official OFMD Instagram account's stories a couple of days ago some footage from one of those preview screenings they did of these episodes in a cinema or whatever. The MC was like "how about those episodes!" and I remember thinking, "wow, the audience seems kind of weirdly muted". Well now I get it! I would have been too!

I've seen people saying that Ed panicking and running off to become a fisherman is a mirror to Stede panicking and running back to his wife in 1x09, which does track, but I actually think that the symmetry here is multivalent, and there are also echoes of 1x08, which for the record is my most hated episode of season one that I can almost not bear to rewatch--not because I think the WRITING is bad but just because it is a little bit too real for me, in terms of situations I've been in where someone I care about who supposedly cares for me lets the worst person in the world treat me really badly, picks them over me and then acts like it never happened and expects me to just be fine with it? I DON'T LIKE THAT!

So yeah, listen, I always felt like Ed leaving with Jack at the end of 1x08 and then immediately coming back was kind of a double beat, or even a triple beat. We already had him threatening to leave and then changing his mind in the previous episode, and then we have STEDE leaving in the following episode, so I always felt like it sat a little bit oddly for me. I do think it's an important and enlightening episode in terms of Ed's character and in revealing some of the underlying issues in their relationship that they need to address (plus giving us yet another flavour of toxic masculinity), but I don't know, it has always bugged me a little bit even beyond the fact that it is just too personally painful for me to enjoy.

Slight detour here--I'm gonna bring it back--to say that, while I am more glad than sorry that we have had so much BTS and promo stuff for the finale, it does create a little bit of a sense of inevitability to proceedings that undercuts any dramatic tension? Like, I feel like we can fairly confidently put together the beats of at least the first act of next week's episode. Those being: Ed has left, he is in a rowboat, he realises that Stede is in trouble--under attack from the British no less!--and heroically turns back to save his true love. So--basically the end of 1x08 again.

As much as I have been enjoying the narrative symmetry thus far, it's in 2x07 that it starts to feel forced, for me. While I can totally buy that Ed starts to regret the sex for all the reasons I mentioned above (though to be clear I don't think he regrets it until later), and that he's uncomfortable with Stede getting drunk and rowdy and playing into a pirate archetype that Ed wants to leave behind (all of this ALSO mirrors/reverses Stede and Ed in 1x08 btw), the idea that he would decide to leave forever to be a fisherman? This is the same guy who spent the first three episodes of the season totally inconsolable because Stede left him, and regained the will to live because of a vision of Stede? And now he's just voluntarily leaving forever because of one conflict? I... guess this accords with Ed's previous behaviour in 1x08, but again, that's always kind of bugged me. I don't know, man, I know they need to set up the big romantic beach reunion scene, but I feel like they could have had Ed go off fishing to clear his head after an argument instead, and that would have felt a bit easier to swallow for me. Sure, not as dramatic, but more believable.

So, this brings me to something about the show that I am starting to find a little bit disappointing, which is that... I feel like it keeps undercutting moments of tenderness and queer joy! It didn't bother me so much in season one, I think just because the show was such a breath of fresh air in so many ways. But now, having committed to being the queer pirate show and playing into that in the marketing and kind of rebranding the whole identity of the show as being a queer love story (which is always WAS but wasn't initially marketed as), I kind of feel like there's a promise inherent in that. And yet again and again I feel like we're getting the rug pulled out from under us. Like--Stede's beautiful love confession in 2x04 being immediately mocked by Anne and Mary (I know people love Anne and Mary but honestly it was getting a little too close to Calico Jack territory for me at times). Like the sex scene feeling (to me) weirdly compromised. Like Ned Low attacking the Revenge before Ed and Stede can dance together! Like Ed deciding to cut and run, AGAIN, at the slightest sign of trouble. And I know it's going to get resolved next week, and I feel like the release schedule for this season (not to mention only getting eight eps obviously) has been to its detriment. I understand why they felt like they needed to put out episode three in the first week because our guys don't even share the screen until then, but I think 2x07 MIGHT have felt a lot more palatable if it had gone out with the finale instead. I also think 2x03 and 2x04 going out together might have felt like a more natural pairing, and would have meant that I was not overwhelmed with misery after the first three eps (actually I still would have been overwhelmed with misery because of stuff in my real life but like, LESS so maybe). Although getting to savour the 2x03 end scene for a whole week was pretty great, and ditto 2x05, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway. 2x07 felt really off to me, primarily in the characterisation of both Ed and Izzy, but also somewhat in the showdown between Zheng and Stede. I could understand it more if I felt that s2 had done a lot of work to establish that Stede is straying towards playing into a toxically masculine pirate archetype, but I think there are really only two times (prior to this ep) where this happens: the (dream sequence) opening of 2x01 and the third act of 2x06. Otherwise, we've seen him being really good at customer service, embracing the "tender" label from Zheng and fitting in with the Red Flag girls, counselling Lucius, saving his crew after the mutiny despite his heart being broken, bonding with Izzy, serving cunt in a cursed new suit, defusing the situation with Ned (until he didn't)--basically Stede has been really GAY this season? Like I honestly felt like THAT was the way he had swung, not towards performing violence and hypermasculinity. So Zheng's dressing down, while maybe working in the context of the scene or even the whole episode, doesn't feel well-integrated into Stede's season 2 arc to me.

Look, I'm going to leave it there. I know this is long-winded and rambling and I fully lost track of time and missed the window to use my Early Bird chest on Duolingo. I doubt anyone will read this whole thing. I just needed to get some stuff off my chest I guess.

*Anyone on Dylan twitter gets this reference!! There's tons of crossover between tumblr OFMD fandom and Dylan twitter, RIGHT? Anyway it was a thing he said in the outro to 'Goodbye Jimmy Reed' at a concert the other night. It was funny because of his dramatic delivery of the word 'Wikipedia' followed by him immediately running out of momentum and mumbling "Wikipedia" again with zero confidence. It was some nice late-career Dylan stage banter. I went to see him around this time last year and man this R&RW tour is great, even though I saw it in a pretty bad venue. The best time I ever saw Dylan was at the Brixton Academy, he played the intro to 'London Calling', it was electric. The first time I saw him was at the NEC arena in Birmingham and it was kind of a letdown but I have fond memories of it anyway, I went with my dad. I was talking to this bartender the other week about seeing your heroes live and honestly it made me realise that I haven't been to any live music in way too long! I'm happy to say that I got to see Bobby Womack perform live right before he died--actually technically I didn't SEE him, you see I was volunteering at Latitude and the bar was perpendicular to the stage. However I COULD hear him. One time I saw Nick Cave live and a woman standing behind me fainted on me! It was pretty stressful but I'm still glad I can say I saw Nick Cave live you know what I mean? The dream would be to see David Byrne but I doubt I could afford it... maybe it'll happen who knows

[rindragon-from-twewy]

This week bouta be a rough one lads-

So this is just a big long rambly vent, nothing important or interesting unless you want some epic (boring) Rindude lore lol

I got no one else to text it to so- slap it on the internet I'm sure this won't bite me in like 10 years time or something-

So anyways, my physical and mental health have been at their worst these last 2 years. Thought it reached rock bottom in like 2016-2017? But nah turns out I hadn't even downloaded all the secret awful emotions expansion pack dlc back then so- whoops.

Anyways so that's kinda why I joined tumblr? Like I'd been meaning to for a while cuz I like watching post reading videos on yt and I can't really talk to my friends about certain things cuz they're not mutual interests- (like twewy, rain code, basically anything post about fandom wise lol-) And on top of that I've kinda lost the person I used to say all my random thoughts to and share my art and ocs and writing with so... I guess I'm replacing them with the internet? It's the best I got for now. But that's all a story for another time ig-

I suppose it's funny though cuz in retrospect, my health being awful gave me a taste of a lot of experiences I wouldn't have properly understood otherwise like being in a wheelchair, coping with bouts of being mute and re-learning a lot of otherwise ordinary things like how to eat and even how to use stairs! (Gosh it sounds like I was in some tragic accident lol- I promise, I wasn't, I've never broken a bone before!) But it's just kinda... odd... how only I really notice the ways the physical side of my health issues has impacted me long term? Those around me think I want to learn sign language now on a whim and not because I now understand how hard it is to communicate when audible or written words aren't options. I see eating and food in a way I just didn't before. It's much more of a necessity then a joy compared to how things were before. Though don't get me wrong, I still love snacks!

I guess the point in tryna make is. I may have lost a friend. I may have - and will continue to - lose a lot of the stability in my life that I need. But it won't be this way forever. I hope. Enough people have proven that they're in this for the ling haul. They're going to stay. And I should focus on them and making sure they know I appreciate it!!! But... also... I'm totally down for making new friends too, any day of the week. I'm just a lil guy tho so... it's hard to keep new people interested cuz I tend to be either too much or too little... uh. Things. Will be better. They will be. I just need to keep going. Keep drawing. Keep writing. Keep eating. Keep walking. I can stagnate for a while, when I need. Dare I say it's healthy to do so sometimes!

Progress isn't a straight line. Neither is the road to recovery or even grief. I'm low now but I've already gotten a lot better then even just a month ago!

I'll feel awful sometimes.

But even just... existing... being alive. That means I'm winning. :>

[rjazzproductions]

The Komi Month 2023 Thread!

Welcome, one and all, to Komi Month 2023!

For those who don't know, a few years ago I decided on a whim that I'd exclusively draw characters from my favorite manga, 古 (こ) 見 (み) さんは、コミュ症 (しょう) です (Komi-san wa, Komyushou Desu, or Komi Can't Communicate in English), every day for the month of November! It was a huge success for me, as it finally got me off my butt and forced me to start consistently practice my drawing skills! And so I repeated it the next year, and last year as well! And now, here we are!

While I originally drew every day, as I've grown as an artist and my schedule has gotten much busier I've since nixed that part. Last year I was only able to produce one piece of art for the month (b/c of grad school taking up all my time and focus), but this year I've decided that I will do 4 3 2 drawings this month!

(Originally I was going to do a drawing each week, but that just didn't work out with how slow my lineart process was. Maybe next year!)

While I never had a plan in terms of what to draw for Komi Month initially (~90% of drawings were thought up and drawn on that day during the first two years), last year I introduced a theme that I want to continue this year! I had planned a whole series of drawings featuring the Komi-san cast cosplaying as Touhou characters, so I want to bring that idea back and really do it justice this time around!

I'm going to make individual posts for each week's artwork, but I'll put the links down below for easy access!

Hope you enjoy, and Happy Komi Month!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drawing 1:

Drawing 2:

[bunnygirl-titties]

Whoops, I wrote another lil horny story 🫣

Hope y’all like it! (I’ll post a part 2)

“Hey, will you sit in my lap? I’ve been feeling a bit down and could use some affection.

” YEAH, of course! I’m sorry you are feeling sad” they said, unaware of what I had waiting for them. They get off the couch to stand in front of me with a lil frown.

God their lips look so soft. When they come closer to sit with their back to the arm of the chair, I stop them.

“I have a… request if that’s okay? I just want to rest my head on your back, will you sit facing away from me?” I looked away from them as I spoke, hoping they wouldn’t be able to see through me. I could feel the fluttering horniness in my stomach flare up like a fire.

“Um.. yeah, I don’t see why not, I was watching this video anyway. But if it’s boring you we can change it.” When I finally looked back at them, they were fiddling with the strings on their black hoodie, and blushing lightly.

I couldn’t help the smirk plastered to my face as I watched them slowly turn around. I grab them by their hips to guide them into place, earning a startled “Oh” from them. I spread my legs and sit them in between with my

bulge snuggly nestled against their plush pussy. It took all my willpower not to immediately grind up into them.

“Thanks, this helps.” I don’t know how I kept my voice so level, but I’m glad I did. I wrapped my arms around their stomach and pressed my ear to their back.

Even like this, I can hear their heartbeat. I was glad they couldn’t see me now. I'm sure they can feel my heavy breathing, but at least they couldn’t see my face.

I had my friend in my lap, a friend that up until about a week ago, I had never thought of sexually at all. But after a rather drunk but sloppy make-out at a mutual friend's birthday, I couldn’t get them out of my head.

I loosened my arms, letting them rest in their lap, a fitting place for what I was planning on doing. Suddenly I could hear their heartbeat pick up, and their breathing is labored. I smirked again.

“Um.. are… a-are you sure this isn’t uncomfortable?” They were stuttering, but was it me getting to them or the show?

“Are you uncomfortable?” I try to make my voice deep and dominating, as I speak. It works, I feel them tense and tremble.

“No... um, I- uh... I just know that I’m somewhat heavy is all… if you’re fine and this is helping… I’m… I’m fine with it.” They were falling apart, and I savored it.

After a few minutes, I can feel them squirm slightly in my lap. I decided to test the waters by wrapping my arms around their stomach again. Holding them in place while I “shifted” under them. Once again they tremble and squirm.

Here’s my chance. I grab their thighs from underneath and move them so that they are laying over mine.“Here, now lay back against me.

“That way it takes the weight off my hips. Not that it matters. But now you don’t have to worry about it. And I can still nuzzle into you.” Again by some miracle, my voice stays level and low.

They didn't say anything as I guided them into the perfect position for me to finger them. I can feel them trembling against my chest. I brush their hair back away from their neck, making sure to lightly graze their neck while I do. I want to push them as far as I can. But that did it, they finally fell apart. A loud desperate and shaky moan erupts from them.

They slapped their hand over their mouth, and tried to get up. But I’m faster, I hold them to me with one hand on their stomach. I move my other around their throat gently pressing my fingertips into their pressure points there. They kept their hand over their mouth as they whimpered.

“It’s okay, I like hearing you moan. I need to touch you so badly. I need to make you moan more. I need to make you mine” I whisper into their ear, as I squeeze harder on their throat and grind up into them.

The way they shook at the feeling of my breath on their ear, my hand around their throat, the whimper that came out of them, and the way they desperately gripped at my wrists were all so delicious.

I slowly slipped my hand under their hoodie and shirt, lightly brushing my fingertips up from their belly button to the soft lump under their bra, where I roughly pressed down. I’m rewarded with another needy moan.

“That’s it. Make more pretty sounds for me,” I say in a breathy whisper. Pulling their hoodie, shirt and bra up and out of my way. Their pretty pink nipples are stiff from being suddenly exposed.

I give one a small gentle pinch, loving the choked gasp that came spilling out of their lips. I can’t stop there, and begin to massage the soft nub between my thumb and index finger.

Their trembling turns into full blown convulsions, and I have to use my legs to hold theirs open.

Without hesitation I ran my hand back down their stomach, savoring the way they trembled and whined. I finally reach my prize, and they are soaked!

I take my time rubbing them through their ruined shorts. They weren’t even trying to stop me, instead they just bucked against my hand as I did. Listening to them desperately moan left a needed hunger in the pit of my stomach. I needed more.

So I pushed their shorts to the side, and was surprised to be met with bare pussy lips, they had no panties on.

“Fuuck” I groan out, as I plunge my fingers in between their soft lips. massaging the tender bulb as my grip on their throat tightened gently.

Keeping them pinned to my chest, as they squirmed in my lap. Their pulse was thumping underneath my fingertips, they had their mouth hung open as they continued to whimper and moan at my rough touching.

“God you’re so fucking hot, how have I never noticed ‘till now? I just want to fuck you senseless!”

“P-please!” Their voice was shaky, as they pleaded with me. They were overstimulated already. So sensitive, have they been thinking about this?

[voasprofile]

vil with an s/o who is a singer and love music from their orig world

I could probably shorten the title but eh I'm new cut me some slack

being brought to whole other world without knowing anything about it can really take a toll in our little readers hearts

luckily they have their phone with them, music really brings comfort to people. especially because it was the only thing familiar to them. what's in it? well yk only the most heart swelling, gut wrenching, eyes watering, hair pulling music you could ever think of

either that or the most back arching, eyes rolling, butterfly giving music

or yk like a psychopath like me, both. on shuffle

ok neways

vil had known of the prefect, not very hard to

they were the talk of the school, from being magicless, to defeating what like 4 overblots, or being in trouble like every other hour

they were rather infamous to put it nicely

what he didn't know them from is their music

like holy hell, how tf did they get so popular? when did this happen?

well tbh he didn't find out until he saw people discussing about a new underground artist

after that he forgot to search up their name whoops

until he saw a vid from twistedtok raving abt this artist

so he was like eh why not and searched them up

it was yuu(pun not intended) he was kinda surprised like weren't you just fighting jamil 4 weeks ago?

browsing to yours list of song was like browsing through a teenagers diary

angst, angst, oh a horny song, and another one, and another one, and oh wait this sounds like- nvm it's angst

and it was just yuu recreating their fav songs and publishing it cause their phone died and twst doesn't have the same charger things

not me promoting but think somewhat this playlist of mine

you had garnered a lot of attention, for someone who plagiarized /j

don't tell anyone, but vil would totally listen to your music

i mean come on

but he wont admit it, that little bitch

during vdc camp, he would wear them small ear phones and would guard his phone with his life, like no one needs to know abt this

except rook knows, he always knows

and epel, because he once barged in vil's room for smth idk he seems like the type to do that

you only found out because vil asked you to play the song they were supposed to be practicing on. which was supposed to be the most recent one

but when you clicked play it was your song. let me put something totes not embarrassing for the both of you, hmm let's see

i wanna be your slave by maneskin yuu

the song was the next song as the practice song just ended a few seconds prior

silence engulfs the room your voice singing the most vile things anyone from here has ever heard you say

you kinda just froze like what were you supposed to be feeling?

why does it have to be this song?

so you were internally freaking out still frozen as rook puts it on himself to save two prideful beings egos. and walks to you and slowly gets the phone from your grip before pausing the song

while vil was witnessing the end of his life his career with an open mouth

"so you like my songs eh?"

"shut up literally shut up"

wow what a non-toxic way for the beginning of a beautiful bloom of a relationship

there was a lot of songs that reminded you of vil yet you only realized at like 2 months into the relationship

so you began dedicating love songs to him and only him cause like duh he's your so

but like the songs that are erotic and sad like real sad are literally dedicated to no one

cause your a moody little bitch who when even the slightest bit sad release a whole ass song with the most heart breaking lyrics

when asked in an interview on who hurt you, yuu were like

"haha myself"

or like abt those sussy songs

"i was feeling down so i had to cheer myself up"

or those songs dedicated to vil

"i am madly in love"

you two were almost the epitome of a picture perfect couple

almost(i thought abt making an angsty ending but i decided against it)

that bitch rook always steals your thunder

you were performing a new love song to vil and asking his thoughts about posting it

and rook comes up and recites a poem right. in. front. of. you.

you almost grabbed him by the neck and not let go for 30 minutes. by accident of course

so it was like a competition to the both of you

and the vibes were like yuu being like

"homewrecker"

and rook being like

"lmao what you talking abt neways. your skin as fair as snow and as smooth as porcelain-"

cue you throwing a vase at him

overall 10/10 would be a cute relationship

[writing-by-gayrainbowbridge]

Technology

Inspiration From This Gorgeous Fanart:

I See Right Through You

Technology - Where Tony creates a set of mind-reading glasses 😎

⚠️Warnings: Language⚠️

Enjoy 💚❤

(Please Check The Pinned Post On My Tumblr Page To See If There Are More Parts To This Story)

Tony was just finishing up his latest project of the day, a large amount of excitement coursing through him. He'd never made something like this before. Usually it was weapon's for the Avengers or upgrading his Ironman suits.

But a few months ago Clint had come back from a mission with Natasha, beaten and bruised. Clint had flopped down on the couch beside Tony, whining something about 'Wishing I could have read the guys mind'.

And Tony had laughed at the time because the only mind reader he knew was Loki (and Tony's not so secret crush to everyone but Loki himself it seemed) who had become an Avenger a half a year ago after clearing up the whole misunderstanding about the New York attack.

Besides, Loki's power only extended as far as memories, not literally what a person was thinking. Tony had said so to Clint, saying there wasn't such a thing and Clint had only pouted with his arms crossed.

But then Tony started thinking more about it.

What if he could read minds?

It would definitely be handy to the team though in the wrong hands it wouldn't be good at all.

But if Tony could create something like that...

Well, he wasn't called a genius for nothing, was he?

So, Tony had gotten to work. He stayed in his lab for weeks, coming out only when Loki who had grown worried for him had actually grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out or when he ran out of coffee.

It worried the others living at the Tower but Tony didn't care. If he could make this work...

After nearly two months of work, Tony finally hit a breakthrough on his project and whooped in delight. Now, just to find an object he could add the technology into. Something nobody would suspect would be able to read minds.

Well, he always did wear sunglasses when he wasn't in the Tower (mostly because his eyes happened to express too much emotion when he talked).

Another week of work and Tony had created mind reading glasses. He only made the one pair because he really would rather no one get ahold of a bunch of them and only he would be using them for the now.

He spent another day perfecting them before deciding to test them out. That was the only way he would know that they worked for sure. He was nearly bursting with excitement as he raced to the elevator.

So, he headed up to the main floor where he was sure there would be plenty of guinea pigs to test them on.

Sure enough, he found Bruce and Clint in the kitchen, Clint attempting to cook something. Tony says attempting because it was clear whatever was in the pan was burning.

Tony walked over, trying to appear as non suspicious as possible.

Bruce looked up when he approached, smiling gently. "Hey, it's good to see you out of the lab for once. Want something to eat?"

Tony paused as a speech bubble with words appeared almost floating next to Bruce's head though Tony knew it was just displaying on the glasses screen. There weren't actually floating words next to Bruce.

Tony's heart melted a little when he saw what it read.

"I've been so worried about him. He needs more to eat. Maybe I can convince him to have something small to eat."

Tony smiled softly at his science buddy. "Yeah, I guess I have been down there a lot lately. But I thought I could use something to eat."

Bruce looked surprised though also so hopeful that it made Tony feel just a little guilty. He hadn't realized how concerned Bruce had been.

"If you wait, you can have some eggs?" Clint offered from the stove.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Give it up, Clint. The eggs are burnt to the shithouse."

"Ooh, don't talk like that around Stevie," Tony teased. "He might have a heart attack hearing language like that."

"Look, I've got it all under control," Clint stated firmly as a bubble appeared next to him, making Tony smirk when he read the words.

"I do not have this under control. Someone better get a fire extinguisher."

"Maybe I should get a fire extinguisher just in case," Tony suggested delicately, making Clint whip his head around to stare at him.

"I was just thinking that," Clint muttered before realizing what he said and spluttered. "I mean, the opposite of that. Why would I need a fire extinguisher? Everything is fine."

The eggs suddenly burst into flames making Clint yelp in alarm. "Shit!"

"Help, help, help, help, help!"

Tony grinned to himself when he heard a voice behind him speak, making him brighten.

"Stark, I'm surprised to see you here."

"Loki!" Tony exclaimed, spinning on the spot to look at the god of Mischief.

"I thought you were working on an oh so important project?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow. A bubble popped up.

"I missed you."

"Yeah, yeah, I missed you too," Tony said, waving a hand dismissively, making Loki stare at him with a rather stunned look. "But I finished the project!"

"Is that so?" Loki asked. "Well, whatever it is, it's going to have to wait. I have other matters to attend to since you seem to want to spend all your time working."

"Aw, come on, Lokes. I know you love me," Tony teased. "Look, see. It's the glasses. Do you like them?"

"You spent all your time working on glasses?" Loki asked, not waiting for an answer as he walked away, towards the hall.

"Not just glasses," Tony said quickly as he raced after him. "Wanna see what they can do?"

Loki rolled his eyes, stopping to turn and look at Tony. "I'm quite busy, Stark. We can test out your new toy later."

Tony went to complain when a bubble popped up.

"Gosh, Anthony looks adorable even with these ridiculous glasses on."

Tony shut his mouth with a click, swallowing hard. Well...that wasn't what he had expected.

"Stark?" Loki asked, seeming to have noticed Tony's shocked expression.

"Oh, no. Is he upset? What did I say wrong?"

"I, um..." Tony wasn't able to form a proper sentence. Loki...Loki cared? Well, Tony knew he cared. He just didn't realize he cared that much.

"Anthony?" Loki asked, switching to Tony's first name like he did when he was concerned. "What is the matter? If it's really that important to you then you can show me."

"I didn't mean to make him upset. I just wanted him to understand how it feels to want someone around like I've wanted him around. I shouldn't have said anything. He'll never love me if I keep acting like this."

Tony's mouth fell open. "What?!"

Loki blinked. "You can show me what they do. I'm...sorry for being so rude."

"No, not that. I just..." Tony huffed. "Dammit, Loki."

"I don't understand," Loki said unsurely.

"I've said something wrong, haven't I? I can't seem to ever get it right. I just keep screwing up. No wonder Anthony doesn't like me."

"Excuse you?" Tony asked, sounding annoyed and grimaced when Loki flinched. "You...you didn't screw up, Loki. I'm just...trying to process...all of that."

"How did you...?" Loki suddenly narrowed his eyes at the glasses. "What exactly do those do?"

Tony managed a weak smile. "They, um...read minds?"

Loki's green eyes grew wide in horror as understanding flashed through them. He then growled before he suddenly grabbed Tony's collar, shoving him hard against the hallway wall.

Tony stared up at him with wide brown eyes as he squeaked out. "I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!"

That's when Loki smirked smugly before leaning down to press his lips against Tony's whose brain short circuited.

Tony took only seconds to respond back, leaning up as much as he could but all too soon, Loki pulled himself away, Tony whining in complaint.

"If you've already seen my thoughts, I guessed there wasn't much else to lose in kissing you," Loki admitted, sounding a little breathless.

"Well, thank fuck. I was going crazy trying to figure out how to ask you out," Tony mumbled, leaning heavily against the wall since his legs felt too weak to stand.

"But if you ever read my thoughts again, I'll ensure you regret it," Loki seethed even as a bubble popped into existence.

"I love you, Anthony."

Tony grinned, leaning forward to kiss Loki's lips lightly. "Love you too, Lokes."

Loki growled, snatching the glasses off of the genius. "Insufferable mortal."

But it didn't matter what Loki called him because now Tony knew the truth.

Loki loved him.

...

@murdermuffinloki Yes, I am still doing oneshots for these. Don't think I've forgotten. I've got five more to go (I think) so you've got those to look forward to as well XD

Tagging @girl-with-many-fandoms because I thought you might enjoy some Frostiron ❤

[queen-of-songs]

The Accidental Crush of Sansa Stark and the recurring annoyance that followed- Chapter 2 pt.1

"Sansa? If you could date any boy counselors here, who would you date?" Shireen, an adorable little camper asked as she walked all of them to canoeing. Sansa paused. Was her developing attraction that obvious? One of the golden staff rules was that there were to be no summer romances or if there was one, to be discreet to the point leadership didn't have any suspicions.

"She'd date Harry of course! Have you seen the way he looks at her?!" Beth giggled. "They would be like Ariel and...Philip!"

"Philip is Aurora's prince, Beth. Ariel's prince is Eric remember?" Alys shook her head at Beth. "I think Sansa would be happiest with Sam!"

"Sam likes Gilly, he blushes every time he's around her," Osha spoke up and the girls around her nodded in agreement.

"Sansa should go out with Dickon, he's so handsome!" Minisa sighed dreamily while Lyanna rolled her eyes.

"Can't you all see Sansa likes...." Lyanna began before Sansa interrupted her. "Girls, I appreciate you all comparing me to a Disney princess and wishing for my happiness. But I assure you, I don't feel that way toward anyone here."

Most of the girls seemed convinced by her little white lie and forgot about their question within seconds. All except for Lyanna. Lyanna stood behind while the other girls went down to the canoeing river. She tilted her head at Sansa in curiosity and Sansa took a deep breath.

"What is it Lyanna?"

"I saw you look at Jon at the pool yesterday."

"Lyanna, I had sunglasses on. I was looking at everyone in the pool." Sansa scoffed, hoping the defiant little camper would drop it. But Lyanna raised her chin with a sly smile on her face.

"Maybe that's true. But I saw you look at him a couple of times today at breakfast and you didn't have sunglasses then. You get a big smile on your face when he's around like the Disney princesses do."

Perhaps I should tone it down a bit.

Sansa took a moment to collect herself and sighed. "Lyanna, Jon is my coworker and friend. I smile when I see all my coworkers..."

"It's different with Jon. That's the way my mom looked at my dad before he died." Lyanna sadly smiled and quickly ran off to join her fellow campers, while Sansa stood in silence.

——————————-

"Girls, can I ask you something?" Sansa asked as she turned up the volume to skype her friends during break time. Margaery was in the process of making an anniversary gift for Theon, Dany was painting her nails so they could be ready for her date night with Daario, Missandei was painting a portrait for Grey, and Brienne was ordering a knife for Jaime's birthday.

"Sure, Sansa!" They all sang in unison.

"Am I being too obvious if one of my campers can tell who I am attracted to?" Sansa spoke quickly, hoping they missed it. But judging by how they were all looking at each other as if they were in the Brady Bunch credits, they did.

"OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Missandei shouted.

"I bet it's Harry! Margaery surmised.

"I think it's Dickon. Did you see the pics Sansa posted that tagged him in? They'd be absolutely perfect together!" Dany sighed happily.

"Well, are you going to tell us who it is?" Brienne rose an eyebrow.

"It's the guy I told you all about that pissed me off a few weeks ago. We've patched things up and he's really...cool." Sansa blushed and saw their collective smiles.

"You never told us Mr. Broody's name, what is it?" Margaery inquired.

"His name is Jon, Jon Snow," Sansa responded, and immediately Dany spat out her drink. "Jon Snow?! You like him?!"

"Yeah. Do you know him Dany?" Sansa asked, confused out of her mind.

"He's my nephew," Dany responded and Margaery's eyes widened. "Dany, how on earth do you have a nephew the same age as you?"

"Remember my older brother Rhaegar? Jon is his whoops kid after he had an affair while Elia was in a coma." Dany shrugged.

"Oh yeah! But you've never mentioned him before, why is that?" Missandei asked in curiosity.

"I didn't know he existed until he came to live with Rhaegar and Elia four years ago. He's hasn't been around much because he was either going to school or working at camp." Dany answered and Brienne leaned forward. "Dany, what were you going to add about Jon earlier when Sansa mentioned that she liked him?"

"He's a great guy...but Sansa, he has a girlfriend. Her name is Lysa Tully. He's been dating her for years. I am truly sorry, Sansa." Dany's face was full of sadness.

"Dany, don't be sorry! I'm glad you told me before I made a fool of myself. Now I can be more cognizant of my actions." Sansa put her hands in a heart shape and Dany laughed as she responded with heart hands back.

"But damn, I wish it were different. It would be so cool to have you as my sis...niece in law. Seven hells, that's so weird...."Dany began before all the girls cackled in unison.

Before long, Margaery narrowed her eyes. That typically meant she was vying for information. "Dany, give us the deets on Lysa."

"My brother and Elia think she's a character," Dany grimaced.

"That sounds like how my grandmother would describe Mr. Baelish and Mr.Varys," Margaery hummed.

"Rhaenys tolerates her and Aegon can't stand to be in the same room as her. My experience made me want to slap her, honestly."

"What happened?" Brienne inquired and Dany sighed. "She made Daario feel uncomfortable because he's not from "here," whatever "here" is supposed to mean."

"Oh. She's one of those types of people... ew does that mean Jon is as well???" Missandei rose an eyebrow.

"No, not by a long shot. Jon is super passionate about social issues and has always been involved in some way or another. He and Lysa got into an argument after she made Daario feel uncomfortable. She ended up apologizing, though I didn't think it was truly genuine. I think it was only to show Jon that she was "improving." Dany shrugged, while Brienne, Margaery, and Missandei collectively sighed. Sansa bit the inside of her cheek.

Of course, he has a girlfriend. He's good looking and has a kind soul. Who was I kidding? Well, maybe I can try to be his friend at least. Yes. That's what I'll do and my feelings will go away. They have before and they will now.

After making her decision, Sansa spoke up.

"Well ladies, enough about me and my sad crush life. Tell me about all your individual plans with your guys!!!!!!"

———————————-

"Sansa, you should go! I'm sure it'll be loads of fun!" Her co-counselor Mya exclaimed.

The leadership team decided last minute to have counselor late-night swim and Sansa internally debated if she really wanted to go.

If I am trying to friendzone my crush, shouldn't I try to limit the times I see him wet and shirtless?

"I'm really tired, Mya. I just want to take a hot shower, it's been a really long day."

It wasn't necessarily a bad excuse. It had been a long day. It hadn't even been five minutes after Sansa ended her skype call with her friends when she heard Dickon radio for her help. Two of the girls got into a fight during canoeing and poor Beth cried the entire time after she fell backward in the river. The next skill area didn't fare well either after Minisa got bit by a brown recluse and had to go to the hospital. Then later in the day, the porch swing broke off at the merchandise store and Lyanna sprained her ankle. Sansa had gotten well acquainted with nurse Thoros. Because she worked so well with the little ones, she typically made calls throughout the week but never this many in one week.

"That's true but Sansa, you've been such a trooper today. You deserve a break." Mya reasoned.

"You were there too, Mya. I wouldn't have survived today without you, honestly. In fact, why don't you go tonight and I'll go tomorrow?" Sansa responded.

"Are you sure, Sansa?"

"Absolutely."

"Aww thanks, Sansa." Mya smiled and hugged Sansa tight for a few seconds before going to her room in the cabin to get a bathing suit.

"Oh by the way Mya, I'd wear the blue one. Harry blushes a little when you wear it." Sansa looked at her nails while Mya's mouth slightly dropped.

"How did you know?! I thought I was hiding it well."

"You are! I'm the only one who can really tell because I'm a big sucker for enemies to lovers so I can tell by the little things."

"...Harry blushed a little when I wore it last?"

"Yeah and I'm pretty sure he was going to say something before one of his campers jumped in the pool with his stuffed kittens." Sansa and Mya began chuckling as they remembered the sweet little boy who wanted to prove cats weren't afraid of water.

"Well thank you for the heads up, Sansa." Mya began to leave before leaning back in the doorway. "Should I wear my braids up or down?"

"Do whatever makes you feel confident."

"I'm going to wear them down. Harry Hardyng, here I come." Mya sang as she left the cabin into the hall to go change.

"Sansa?" a soft whisper woke her up and she could see Mya's outline by the bed. Sansa rose up on her elbow and she could tell Mya wanted to talk out in the hall. She followed her out quietly and then sat against the wall.

"Mya, how was it?" Sansa rose an eyebrow and a deep blush appeared on Mya's brown skin.

"It was wonderful. We... we kissed under the water. It was magical." Mya sighed happily and Sansa's heart leaped with joy.

"Did anyone see you two?"

"Surprisingly and thankfully, no. Everyone was distracted by Sam and Gilly. He finally asked her out!"

"Sounds like a good night for everyone it seems." Sansa smiled and closed her eyes for just a moment before Mya spoke up.

"Do you like anyone Sansa?" Sansa opened her eyes to see Mya have an eyebrow raised.

"Erm... not really." Sansa lied and Mya scoffed as she began redoing her braids.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure I saw you staring at your former pool duty partner a bit the other day. Is that why you switched?"

"For one, for some reason, I thought Jon was going tonight before I remembered he and Harry are co's this week. Two, it doesn't matter how I feel."

"Why doesn't it matter, Sansa?"

"Because he has a girlfriend." Sansa's voice cracked a little and Mya's face filled with sorrow.

"I'm sorry I brought it up, Sansa."

"It's okay."

"What's your game plan?"

"My game plan? I want to become his friend and try to friendzone him."

"Friendzone your crush, hmm. I've never heard of that before. How are you going to do it?"

"Ask him about his girlfriend, what he likes, try to steer from anything super personal, keep a healthy distance, and....I'll talk about guys I find attractive."

"Besides Jon, who else would you want to go on a date with at camp?"

"Not really." Sansa shrugged.

"Any guys back home?"

"Um sort of I guess? If you count teammates/friends Robb brings home during breaks. His is name is Pyp. He's really cool and kind." Sansa smiled.

"Ooh tell me more!" Mya rested her face on her hands as the girls did during storytime before bed.

"He's majoring in Civil Engineering. He plays left wing on the hockey team at White Harbor, he's pretty good. I wouldn't be surprised if he was drafted in the WHL. He's pretty funny and a movie buff."

"Why didn't you go on a date with him then?"

"I was scared after everything that went down with Waymar, that I was a little hesitant to date."

"What did happen with Waymar?" Mya questioned.

"I made a fool out myself for him. I wore different clothes, dyed my hair black, and I even started going by my middle name to seem "cooler" to him. I..." Sansa shuddered. "I gave him special favors in the hopes, he just so he'd finally see me. One day, he texted me to meet up with him at his house and I went over thinking that he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I got there and the door was wide open. I thought it was a bit strange and I went in, worried if Waymar was okay when I heard noises coming from his bedroom. I opened the door and caught him having sex with my former best friend Myranda. I closed the door and ran down the stairs. Waymar and Myranda came down right before I left. Waymar forgot he texted me and tried to apologize while Myranda just smirked at me. I asked her 'How could you?' and she said 'You're the biggest fool to ever think you had a shot with Waymar and I only became friends with you to get to him along with your money. Who would anyone ever want to date someone like you? You're a stupid and ugly little girl. Oh, you're crying now. How sad? No one's ever had the guts to tell you that? You're sasquatch with no curves or boobs."

Sansa looked down at the crown, while hot tears streamed down her face. Mya gathered her in her arms as Sansa sobbed.

"You know what Myranda said about you isn't true right? You're beautiful on the inside and out. Hell, I wish I was as tall and skinny as you." Mya whispered while Sansa shook her head.

"Mya, you're beautiful."

"So are you! Being tall sounds great, I don't like always having to crane my neck to look at Harry when we're bantering. The pool is probably one of the few kisses where he won't have to practically bend down to kiss me. Don't get me started on being curvy and having to find jeans that don't feel like they're not suffocating my thighs and butt while having a huge awkward gap in the back." Mya ranted. "Don't be hard on yourself, Sansa. You're amazing, you need to believe that. The girls love you, I love you, your other friends and family love you, and everyone at camp does. You need to love yourself."

"Thank you, Mya. You're right, I do need to work on loving myself." Sansa smiled.

"That's the spirit!" Mya high fived her and then they heard the door open from Mya's room to see Beth's face full of tears.

"What's wrong Beth? Did you have a nightmare?" Mya asked, her voice full of concern.

"No, I..." Beth's lip wobbled. "Miss Mya, I woke up and I realized I don't have any more underwear for the rest of the week."

"How many did you bring Beth?" Sansa asked as Beth sat down in between her and Mya.

"My brother packed me six."

Only six for Sunday through Friday? I'd pack at least twelve or fourteen... Wait! It's only Tuesday?!

"But it's only Tuesday Beth, how did you go through six?" Mya's eyes widened.

"I... I peed myself a bit on Sunday when I was waiting for the bathroom after I took my shower, so I had to change. Monday, I got my unicorn undies wet from the shower after I dropped them. I asked Lyanna to get some out of my bag. Today, after I fell in the water I got scared I was going to get leeches so I changed into my last pair. I just keep getting bad luck!" Beth started to tear up and an idea popped up in Sansa's mind.

"Beth, are all your dirty clothes in a bag?" Sansa asked.

Beth nodded and Sansa sighed in relief.

"Okay, I'm going to wash all of your dirty clothes in the washer and you'll have your five pairs clean again."

"Won't people judge me for re-wearing the same undies again?"

"No, it's none of their business and besides sometimes I wear the same undies when I don't take a shower for a day if I didn't sweat." Sansa shrugged.

"Same." Mya agreed and Beth looked at the both of them in amazement.

"Thank you so much, Miss Sansa and Miss Mya!" Beth hugged them both and went back into Mya's room.

"What. A. Night," Mya exclaimed and Sansa couldn't help but agree.

"Drinking coffee right before lunch?" Jon asked as Sansa filled her coffee mug.

"Yep. I'm exhausted, I had to wash one of my girls' clothes because she didn't pack enough underwear. She was upset and it broke my heart. Yesterday just wasn't her day."

"Beth right? She's a sweetheart." Jon smiled before he took a sip of his tea.

"She definitely is." Sansa nodded in agreement.

"Is she your favorite this week?"

"We as counselors aren't supposed to have favorites." Sansa attempted to be stern as Jon rose an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. Sansa began laughing so hard that her nose snorted and coffee spilled down her nose.

She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at her nose, refusing to make eye contact with him.

Seven hells, why must I embarrass myself in front of hot guys??? Why can't my laugh be sweet and adorable???

"I like your laugh, it's cute. You should do it more often." Jon's deep voice broke into her reverie and she lifted her eyes to see a small grin on his face.

"You should make more dramatic faces and jokes then," Sansa smiled back and Jon laughed a little.

"Noted." Jon nodded and then his eyebrows knitted together. "I just realized you didn't go to last night's late-night."

"Nope, besides doing Beth's laundry, I took a hot shower and talked to Mya out in the hall for a bit."

"Oh, Mya? Harry had heart eyes when he came back to the cabin last night. About damn time something happened."

"Mr. Jon? Did you just curse on campgrounds?" Sansa dramatically exclaimed and Jon chuckled as he shook his head.

"I sure did, Miss Sansa. Am I going to lose points now?"

[starryknightace]

I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

[[MORE]]

Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hello I am back!! I'm sorry it's been long, these past couple of weeks have had me swamped with homework :( and yet I still didn't do it all 🤡 also get ready for a bunch of messages because 1.) responses and 2.) my thoughts on Lockscreens. Spoiler: I am Emotional haha. Aww, thank you :') I used to think it was weird to give yourselves nicknames but I'm past that now haha. Another one I go by sometimes is "Lizard" because I stick my tongue out a lot when I'm talking??

(2) and people think I'm cold blooded because I get really cold easily and like to bask in the sun. I mostly just did traditonal sketches and a lot of screencap redraws. I want to get into art again, but I'm taking it slow for now and focusing more on my writing. And I feel that too LOL. I'm going to start a blog dedicated to reblogging x reader fics that I like because I'm too embarrassed to do so on my main blog (I tell all of your followers 🤡)

hey Honeymoon! as long as you’re taking care of yourself, that’s all I care about 💞 i’m gonna post my responses into two parts. a Lockscreens segment after you send in the rest of your thoughts and a get-to-know-you part for now!

(also I’M FROM CA TOO AND WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SENDING ME MESSAGES AT 3AM OML)

ngl, i feel like the best person to give you a nickname is yourself! i jokingly gave myself the nickname ‘Daddy’ and that’s literally become my “rave” personality LMAO. but i can understand why some people think it’s weird 🤷 honestly lizard is a bad-ass nickname !! i’m the same way - being in the cold makes me sooo sleepy and i’d rather bask in the sun 😂

i’d love to see your artwork or writing sometime! please feel free to send it over 🥰

(3) Honestly even with all my issues it's kind of nice being a hopeless romantic! Like you said it gives me the chance to day dream haha. Maybe I have my head in the clouds a lot but sometimes it's nice to be there. There's so many, but I think it's a tie between enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. I love the drama and comedy from the former but I'm so Soft for the latter, and that's highkey how I want my relationship to start.

(4) I think building that bond with someone before you even start dating them is really sweet, and having that connection by the time you commit to each other is 💓 I'm sorry you've been having writers block, that's the worst :( if it helps, the past two chapters have turned out amazing, I love them so much!! I think the closest I got to hardcore shipping something that wasn't canon was RinHaru? But there was also a lot of tension and affection in their relationship so I could see it being canon

there’s nothing wrong with having dreams! just so long as you can ground yourself at the end of the day. 

enemies to lovers is always the funniest for me to read TBH. because it’s such an inevitable cliche haha. friends to lovers though -- oooo my heart. 

the best relationships start with friendship. it’s the most authentic imo. like for me, it’s exhausting bearing my heart open to new people each time i want to get involved with someone romantically. but having someone who already knows you inside out??? swoon. what about a trope you dislike?

ah tyty, i’m glad you enjoyed them! the writers’ block wasn’t too bad for these chapters. i’ve had them typed up for a few weeks now :’) 

rinharu is so cute though! but Harukoto (or whatever the ship name is tbh) is super cute too. but maybe i just really like the best friend to lovers trope LMAO

(5) I just looked at their insta and !!!!!!!!!! that's so cute! I like bokuaka but I've never looked into it as much as others, but their art made me have Feelings lol. I think that is a good view to have on family tbh. I've developed a relationship with my blood family and we're close, but there's something special about the relationships and love you have for people you choose to stay with. I love Tiana!! I think she's a really underrated Disney character :(

(6) She really encompasses Disney's message of working hard to achieve your dreams, and she's a strong, independent woman without being closed off and rejecting her feelings. I think it's so cute and cool that she had that much of an impact on you :D Oof, I get that 💀. Men are gross 🤢 I don't get it very often because I live in SoCal and tbh to a lot of other people brown just equals mexican lol. They're right but I really don't look full mexican. Portuguese and Islander people can tell though

bokuaka art makes me have ~ feelings ~ i also really like @/liann1009 and @/maddox_rider on IG! (tbh idk if they have a tumblr whoops) liann1009 does a lot of OiHina whereas maddox_rider does bokuaka which is ridiculously cute too 🥰 

DUDE OMG YES!!! Tiana and Kita (from Atlantis) are under-rated QUEENS who deserved better!! we need representation out here in this b*tch!!! 

idek why, but some people think i look hispanic 🙃 but yes bby, men are gross and should be better!! i have yet to meet a man who deserves to stand on equal ground to me, imma be real. (2d men don’t count but y’know). does it bother you when people mistake your ethnicity? 

(7) Thank you!! Ngl it's kind of scary wondering about what the industry is going to be like because I'm sure I will run into a lot of biased people and sources, but learning to navigate that is just part of the job. Of course there's people who will read biased sources and attack you too, but you can't always escape those people :/ and thank you love, you're so sweet 💕 That's really admirable! It takes a lot of work and creativity to start a business, I'm sure you'll be successful 😊

(8) what kind were you thinking of? and psych is super cool too! Having that understanding of people and the world can be really eye opening and fun :D It's okay, he was one of my favorite teachers but looking back he was an asshole. He had his good/funny moments and did a lot for me, but he also abused some of editors in my journalism class, and some friends of mine :/ He wouldn't appreciate their work, sometimes insult them, and even encouraged my friend to not sleep for the sake of the paper

i’m positive that you’ll do just fine once you get out there! it seems like you have a pretty thick skin :) 

i really wanted to open a business to help support under-represented groups receive an education - with major focus on minority groups such as orphans/foster children, veterans, and the homeless. there’s so much logistics that tbh i’m too ~stressed~ to think about so i’m tabling that for awhile :’) 

bruhhh fuck that teacher. drop his addy, i just wanna talk real q 💞   if you can’t support all of your students, then there is no point in being a professor!! there is literally 0 reason to be rude when you’re in a position of power, especially when it involves someone’s passion, career, and/or education.

(9) I just remembered that there's a limit to how many asks you can send in a certain amount of time so if these suddenly stop I'm sorry! I'll come back when I can haha. I wouldn't say I'm all that great tbh, but I'm proud of a lot of my works LOL. My favorite part about it is using makeup and tools to just turn into something else. Wounds are always fun, but making yourself a gargoyle or some other creature is what makes it so interesting to me.

(11) I'm OBSESSED with the makeup and costumes from LOTR. It's my biggest inspiration. I can go on about it haha. That's so cool!! Being a part of the whole production, especially all sides to it, sounds so fun. Do you have any favorite memories from your time in high school? I'd love to hear them if you have any :O Confession: I have never seen any of those asdfkljvk. I know I really should though and it's on my to do list ! I've heard really great things about all of them !

imma be real, i didnt know there was a limits on asks LMAO. i did hear that they sometimes get eaten though, so i really hope that doesn’t happen 😅 

we all start somewhere. your first step will never look like someone else’s, nor should it. as long as it’s something that you can look back upon and be proud of and know that you’ve grown from, that’s all that matters! 

just imagining someone using makeup to turn themselves into a gargoyle has my head spinning  🤣 like ya girl can barely do her eye-makeup, let alone anything as intense as that! what’s been the most difficult project? 

DUDE, I LOVE MEDIEVAL-HISTORICAL WORKS! like the dresses from that Mary from Reign wears has my heart so softtttt. dfsnosdf. please!! tell me some of your fav things about LOTR  💖

omg high-school was so long ago, i don’t think i have any favorite memories from it 🙃 i think the opening night of a production would be the best. listening to the audiences reactions as the performers left their hearts on-stage, seeing all the pieces fall together, that was always absolutely incredible. wbu, what did you enjoy about hs? 

i have very strong opinions on those musicals LMAO. i can talk about them forever  🤩