#Thornton Dimitrios

[hoeforseungcho]

Average Ages Of Mass Shooter’s Victims

It's a long list, so I added a page break.

7.0 - Patrick Purdy

7.4 - Thomas Hamilton

9.0 - Charles Roberts IV

13.4 - Salvador Ramos

13.8 - Wellington de Oliviera

14.3 - Jaylen Fryberg

14.5 - Li Zhongren

15.4 - Adam Lanza

16.0 - Ethan Crumbley

16.3 - Victor Hoffman

16.6 - Dylan Klebold

16.8 - Kosta Kecmanovic

17.0 - Robert Smith

17.8 - Tyler Peterson

18.0 - Michael Clark

19.6 - Nikolas Cruz

19.9 - Eric Harris

20.0 - Elliot Rodger

20.1 - Larry Ashbrook

21.0 - Matthew Murray

21.6 - Mauricio Garcua

23.0 - Steven Kacmierzak

23.3 - Travis Reinking

23.6 - Tim Kretschmer

23.7 - Marc Lepine

24.1 - Matti Saari

25.3 - Dimitrios Pagourtzis

25.3 - James Huberty

25.7 - Vladislav Roslyakov

25.8 - Chase Garvey

26.2 - James Holmes

26.5 - Gonzalo Lopez

26.8 - Pekka-Eric Auvinen

26.8 - Seung-Hui Cho

27.0 - Noah Esbensen

27.7 - Timur Bekmansurov

28.2 - Jeff Weise

28.3 - Michael Silka

28.5 - Ruslan Akhtyamov

28.8 - Wesley Higdon

29.3 - Sterling Hunt

29.4 - Omar Mateen

29.8 - Muhammad Abdulazeez

30.0 - Charles Whitman

30.0 - Colt Gray

30.8 - Kimbrady Carriker

31.7 - Phasid Trutassanawin

32.0 - Todd Kohlhepp

32.6 - Anderson Aldrich

32.8 - Chris Harper-Mercer

33.1 - One Goh

33.2 - Connor Betts

33.2 - Howard Unruh

33.3 - Ryan Palmeter

33.7 - Solejman Talovic

33.8 - Thomas McIlvane

34.8 - Audrey Hale

35.0 - Cedrid Ford

35.3 - Snochia Moseley

35.7 - Richard Farley

35.7 - Richard Poplawski

35.8 - Chai Vang

36.0 - Robert Dear Jr.

36.3 - Mark Essex

36.4 - Nidel Hasan

37.0 - Noah Harpham

37.3 - Radcliffe Haughton

37.9 - James Pough

38.0 - Ivan Lopez

38.2 - Gary Martin

38.4 - Mark Baton

38.7 - Patrick Sherill

38.8 - Leo Held

39.3 - Joaquin Roman

39.5 - Maurice Clemmons

39.6 - Stephan Paddock

39.7 - John Parish

39.7 - Michael McLendon

40.1 - Gian Ferri

40.2 - Andre Bing

40.4 - Edward Allaway

40.7 - Albert Wong

41.0 - Gavin Long

41.0 - Jonathan Sapirman

42.0 - William Bonner

42.3 - Michael McDermott

42.4 - Lyndon McLeod

42.8 - Eduardo Sencion

43.0 - Zane Floyd

43.2 - Ian Stawicki

43.6 - Micah Johnson

44.3 - George Sodini

44.3 - Terry Ratzmann

44.9 - Jennifer San Marco

45.0 - Randy Stair

45.1 - Samuel Cassidy

45.4 - Brian Uyesegi

45.7 - Jiverly Wong

45.8 - Herman Klink

46.1 - Robert Card

46.3 - Timothy Hendron

46.6 - Ahmad Al Aliwi Al-Issa

47.0 - Brandon Hole

47.3 - Kenneth Tornes

47.5 - William Baker

48.4 - Zephen Xaver

48.7 - Ronald Taylor

48.8 - Anthony Ferrill

49.4 - Robert Hawkins

49.8 - Joseph Wesbecker

50.3 - Carl Brown

50.7 - Jimmy Lam

50.8 - Isaac Zamora

51.0 - Douglas Williams

51.0 - Kevin Neal

51.2 - Andrew Engeldinger

51.3 - Amy Bishop

52.6 - George Hennerd

53.8 - Connor Sturgeon

53.8 - John Neumann Jr.

54.1 - Scott Dekraai

54.4 - Omar Thornton

54.6 - Robert Long

55.0 - Jarrod Ramos

55.2 - Charles Thornton

55.5 - Jared Loughner

55.8 - Aaron Alexis

55.7 - Jason Dalton

55.9 - Wade Page

56.1 - Dylann Roof

57.3 - Anthony Polito

57.6 - Arcan Cetin

58.3 - Chunli Zhao

59.1 – Patrick Crusius

62.0 - Robert Crimo III

62.1 - Payton Gendron

66.9 - Huu Can Tran

73.8 - Robert Bowers

79.3 - Robert Stewart

83.3 - Beau Wilson

[janeyland]

Being a Big Brother is Hard!

I knew that having a new baby around would be hard for Thorny. He is so young that even though we discussed the changes that were happening and that would happen often during the pregnancy I knew that he didn’t understand them. 

Thorny came to visit Lyra in hospital on the day that she was born, but was at nursery the next day when we finally made it home. Running in just after five to see a pouchy, exhausted Mummy holding a sleeping little scrawn in the same way he used to be held can’t have been easy. Watching her nurse when he no longer did - another story - must have hurt too. It was that evening I think that he coined his first ever self-generated sentence: Baby Down. It was a command. And it has been repeated several times every day since then. It is tapering off somewhat now, though. 

The first time I did bedtime with Thorny after having Lyra was hard. He didn’t want me at all and was upset and violent, actually trying to hurt me. I’m used to him having a real preference for Daddy - I understand it and I accept it absolutely - but this was much more intensified and made me cry with so much guilt about what I had done to him and our life together. This has been repeated many times since then.  I have had really hard times with Thorny.  

I am pleased that he doesn’t demure about telling me that he wants Daddy and not me. I want him to be able to tell us and know we are robust enough for him. But at the same time I am firm and unrepentant about the fact that sometimes it is going to be me who does bathtime and bedtime. The amount of anger he has felt has been hard for both of us. Though rationally I know that he is feeling rejected and sad and that it is this that is driving his behaviour, it can be hard to be so disliked and being the cause of so much pain for this guy that I have loved so much and want so badly to protect from everything. 

One reason I love picking him up from nursery is that it is one of the only times when he is delighted to see me. He cups my face in his hands as I crouch down to cuddle him, saying my name over and over. Recently this joy has extended to whenever he sees me after a break, and that is wonderful. When I come upstairs in the morning, or when he returns to the house after an outing with Nanna or Daddy, I will be met with a goofy happy shout of ‘bebbeeeee!’ And it is my favourite thing. 

Some of Thorny’s behaviour has been very interesting; he is not a subtle guy, no matter what he thinks. Shortly after Lyra came home he discovered that he kept getting stuck ('guk!’) on a chair at the far end of the room to where I would normally be nursing Lyra. He would climb onto the chair - occasionally climbing off again to pick up a toy he needed, then climbing back on - and then with a shocked gasp realise that he couldn’t get down. The only way he could get down was if one of us - and usually this was me - came and gave him our hand. This would happen several times a day at first but happens less and less now. I really liked it. I liked the mock surprise and my mock concern, which he would respond to with an open-mouthed astonishment that this had happened to him again.  I liked the fact that we all - I think - knew we knew he was faking. I liked the fact that he was able to play us. We probably deserved it. And I liked that he found we were prepared to put Baby Down to come to his rescue. Over and over. It happened again last week, for the first time in a while, when I had a friend, Stella, and her little girl around and he was struggling. Stella helped him down from the chair and he was incredibly unhappy about it. 

At some point Thorn realised that Lyra could be his fall-guy. Whenever I mention changing his diaper to him he looks at me and suggests that I change 'Yi-wa’s gi-pa’. Every time. I guess little sisters can be good for misdirection.  

Lyra has gradually made her way into our songs and rituals, always instigated by Thorn. We do a song where we talk about everyone in the family and he was the one who suggested adding Baby Yiwa in, after Mummy and Daddy and before Boogie (Thorn) and Yaya (Nanna). He also likes looking through the photos on my phone. He is just starting to enjoy seeing photos of himself, which is interesting in itself. But he finds it funny seeing Lyra too. He says her name three times for every photo, laughing: Yiwa Yiwa Yiwa! So acceptance is definitely there now.  At 15 weeks I can’t imagine life without Lyra and I doubt Thorny can really remember it. He is still jealous, a lot. But it is calmer. He can get really angry if I need to feed her while rocking him on the moose, even though, as I point out to him, I can do them both at the same time. He finds her funny and fascinating - watching her bathe is something he finds hilarious. He includes her in his babble, though I know not in what context. One day he seemed so affectionate that I offered him a cuddle with her, but as I approached him with her he decided to kick her instead. He does give her the odd head stroke though, and when he is doing the rounds feeding us all from his soft-toy pineapple, she is included and gets smushed in the mouth repeatedly with said fruit. She takes this with her characteristic good humour. 

Occasionally I ask him to pass me Lyra’s blanket and he will give it to me and when I thank him he will get annoyed about it. Or he will decide that Lyra needs a blanket and give me a couple to put on her, saying 'Yiwa!’ but get upset when I give them to her. If I then say 'does Thorny want them?’ He will grab them back and happily repeat 'Boogy’s blankets’ as he carries them off. His sweet ambivalence is palpable! 

We decided because he was having such a hard time, to do two things: The first was a love-bombing exercise where I dropped Lyra at a friend’s for the day and took Thorny out to do a day of things that he loves (swimming, library, and then a fancy lunch at an amazing ice-cream parlour, I decided). But he came down with chickenpox the day we had planned for it. We need to reschedule it quickly, actually, before Lyra is old enough to notice I’m not around. 

The other thing was to throw him a Big-Brother party - just a small party - us and grandparents perhaps, with a small cake and some balloons and party hats, just a little celebration about him. Just about Thorn. But chickenpox did for this too. His behaviour since has been such that I’m now wondering if it is not actually a good idea for himself. He gets upset when something unusual happened, and any visitors, no matter who they are, are hard for him to take. During the week when we had to stay in all the time due to his and Lyra’s poxing, he got incredibly upset if we had any visitors. It’s like he can’t take me being diluted any more than I am already. So while I’d love to do this for him, I’m not sure that it wouldn’t be kinder and make him happier to scrap this idea altogether. 

It’s been harder by far than I thought it would be. I wish he could speak more so we could discuss things better. So much must necessarily go unsaid when you have a not-very-verbal toddler. We do try to talk to him about it but who knows if we are addressing the right points for him? And probably we are less attentive than we should be to this issue, because he cannot verbalise it. 

It is already getting easier, and who knows, he may get to like her one day, when she begins to be more interesting to him. I will love it one day when they are conspiratorial and Thorny and Lyra are a unit, and they jealously guard their relationship with each other from their parents.

[swissforextrading]

Earthquake engineering: an EPFL laboratory stands out

10.04.18 - Three researchers from the Resilient Steel Structures Laboratory (RESSlab) beat 11 other teams to win an international computer simulation contest on earthquake engineering. They will present their work on 13 April at a conference in Baltimore (USA). EPFL’s Resilient Steel Structures Laboratory (RESSlab) finished in first place in the comprehensive category at in an international computer simulation competition on earthquake engineering: the NIST-ATC Blind Prediction Contest 2018. The RESSlab team developed the most accurate numerical model, as measured by 11 criteria, predicting the deformation of three steel columns subjected to earthquake loading. The researchers will receive their prize and present their work on 13 April at a special session dedicated to the blind analysis prediction contest as part of the AISC Steel Conference (NASCC) in Baltimore. These contests are blind because the researchers receive only partial information on a structure or component. Using just the geometry and the imposed load conditions, the EPFL researchers were able to demonstrate with a high level of accuracy that it is possible to simulate material and geometric instabilities in steel components undergoing cyclic loading similar to that of an earthquake. “We used simulation models and a methodology that we developed in the scope of a research project financed by the Swiss National Science Foundation (SNSF),” says Dimitrios Lignos, an associate professor and director of RESSlab. “The aim of this project is to use computer simulations validated by carefully designed physical experiments to deepen our understanding of the complex deterioration processes associated with geometric instabilities observed in steel structures as a result of earthquake-induced loading. We plan to share these tools with the scientific community.” For Lignos, the results of this competition also serve to highlight EPFL’s internationally recognized expertise in computer modeling across scales. Thanks to RESSlab’s models, researchers can also forecast the dynamic behavior of steel buildings subjected to earthquakes of different magnitudes and predict if these buildings would suffer major deterioration in strength and stiffness. The researchers plan to publish an article about their method soon. The column simulation modelised by the lab. © RESSlab / EPFL 2018 While he was working at McGill University in Montreal, Lignos and his research group won two other blind prediction contests. With funding from the SNSF, Lignos and his team are also planning to organize their own blind prediction contest, looking at a two-story steel structure that will be tested in EPFL’s Structures Laboratory in 2019. The EPFL team, comprising Alexander Hartloper, a PhD student, and Ahmed Elkady, a post-doc, was led by Lignos Dimitrios, the director of RESSlab. They won the blind analysis competition over 11 other teams from around the world, coming in just ahead of Pennsylvania State University. Thornton Tomasetti, a civil engineering firm based in Chicago, won top honors in the simple category. The International Blind Analysis Contest is run by two US-based organizations: the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) and the Applied Technology Council (ATC). Sandrine Perroud http://actu.epfl.ch/news/earthquake-engineering-an-epfl-laboratory-stands-o (Source of the original content)

[trendingnewsb]

Queen Bette Midler Finally Wins Her First Competitive Tony Award

The Divine Miss M just made personal Tonys history.

Bette Midler, star of the Broadway revival of Hello, Dolly!, won her first competitive Tony award on Sunday night, taking home the statuette for Best Actress in a Musical. Shed previously won a special (non-competitive) award in 1974 for adding lustre to the Broadway season, but, at 71, she finally nabbed the recognition she deserved.

Im so privileged. Im so honored, she said as she accepted her award. I hope I dont cry, she added, before joking about dating most of the Tony voters.

Midlers speech was probably one of the longest of the night the orchestra attempted to play her off, but she continued speaking, outlasting the musical crescendo. Revival is an interesting word, she could be heard saying when the music stopped. It means near death.

She wrapped up by telling audiences thatHello, Dolly! had never really gone away, encouraging everyone to see the classic show.

Michael Ochs Archives via Getty Images

Bette Middler circa 1970.

Born in 1945, Midler made her Broadway debut in Fiddler on the Roof in 1964. Throughout out her decadeslong career in show business,the singer-songwriter-actor-comedian won several Grammys and Emmys, leaving her one letter away from the coveted EGOT designation. Shes been twice-nominated for an Oscar for her roles in The Rose and For the Boys, but has yet to secure an Academy Award.

In fact, in 1979, Midler lost an Oscar to Norma Rae actress Sally Field, who, this year,was also nominated for a Tony for Best Actress in a Play for her role inThe Glass Menagerie. But Field lost the award toA Dolls House, Part 2 actress Laurie Metcalf. So … what goes around, comes around?

Hello, Dolly!, based on Thornton Wilders 1938 play The Merchant of Yonkers,was famously adapted into a movie starring Barbra Streisand. It tells the story of a matchmaker, Dolly Levi played by Midler in the 2017 production a professional meddler who falls for a client, the grumpy near-millionaire Horace Vandergelder.

Check out more of the 2017 Tony Award winners here.

Dimitrios Kambouris via Getty Images

Bette Midler at the 2017 Tony Awards.

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[janeyland]

Starting to Talk

Thorny’s speech hasn’t developed in the way I imagined it would. Actually it has been so fascinating; Tom and I are both talky-talkers so I guess I assumed Thorny would be quick to speech, but he hadn’t been, really. If anyone were to ask I would probably describe him now, at two and a half, as non-verbal. But this isn’t really true. He has loads of words; his language is developing rapidly, exploding out on a daily basis, but it is indistinct and it would be hard for an outsider to understand a thing (although I am always impressed by how much they understand at nursery). The way it happens is fascinating. The way that words come is by clarifying themselves gradually out of his general babble (not a word I like but it is functional enough) - so it feels like he has been saying them forever, but we are only just understanding them. One example would be his counting. He can count past 20 (the other day he counter to 20-10!) but not many people could identify it as such. 1-10 goes: Bah, ooo, wee, oon, fuv, eex, gyeven, ah, gah, GAH!  Five started off as ‘bung’ and seamlessly morphed into ‘fuv’. It was really interesting to watch because I knew that Thorny develops his words by refining his babble, and bung seemed so far removed from five that I didn’t see how he could do it. But he did. His teen numbers are amazing too: Buh-gie, boogie, bib-gy, gig-gy, giragee, aggy, gaggy, GAGGY! (There is always such a celebration at the end of each round). When he first started his voice mimicked the teaching tone we clearly used: O-ne, tw-ooo, the-reeee, go-ur, FIIIIIVE! It was amazing his mimicry does make you more aware of your foibles.

So, while I describe him as not talking, he is, really, more and more. The other day he came upstairs after a nap and said ‘gaga aslip’ as Tom was still asleep. He describes all hills as 'a bit steep!’ And some of his towers too! He can tell me when he has put pepper or corn or peas in his water, which he does to annoy me, mainly I think. He has words for the colours, most of which are recognisable, except maybe for orange which is ooh-ma. That is changing though and mysteriously will reveal to me that it was, all along, orange in disguise. Banana recently went from bayaya to banana. He has the same word for dinosaur and ketchup (giron). His most magical sequence of words, as far as I’m concerned, is his words for 'square, circle, triangle, rectangle’ which are, unchangingly, 'bah, gagen, gagenagen, begagen'. Always said together, and increasingly fast. It is musical! His difficulties with pronunciations are very consistent. He can’t say ’d’ so daddy is gaga (more commonly gaggy nowadays actually, which is lovely), red is reg (with a hard g) down (from 'baby down’ is gown. He has troubles with some Ns so nanna is yaya. He calls Lyra Yi-wa which is wonderful. He often sounds South African with the harshness of his sounds, which I love - particularly the alphabet, which is really his thing right now - but his 'big’ (beeeeg) which is his new main descriptive word, is decidedly continental. His word for me is still not one I can fully spell or even understand all the time - he often has to poke me to let me know it’s me he means. It’s a bit like 'Bubby’ I think, because I always think he’s talking about bunnies. On the subject of bunnies, he often tells me he’s a 'slippy bubby’ and curls up on the floor for a pretend rest. He will sing enthusiastically along with so many songs -it is so wonderful - he sings raucously along to Shake It Off, for example, using, presumably his words, but it is hard to tell. I can hear him singing 'work that booty’, regretfully, from Boom Shake The Room. From Cake he can sing most of Jolene 'get up, get down’ If you ask him to say something he can pretty well mimic an approximation, but generally you know it is not his word yet. He had the words he needs and as his needs continue to grow, presumably his words will as well. At the moment we love App-ul and Graf (grape). He can in the other day from being out with Gaggy and yelled out 'Hai Bubby’ which was the first time that has ever happened (mainly maybe because it is usually me out with him. It was a great feeling! (His 'hi’ genuinely is 'hai’ and his 'bye-bye’ is happy and sing-song regardless of his emotions at the time. He gets ritually into things too. One day while we were out I said to him 'oh no, I forgot to get diapers!’ Then, after considering what to do I said 'it’ll be ok’ and he has said that over and over ever since. Often also he repeats what you have said back to him, which is often quite frustrating when it is a question.  But I think he does it when he doesn’t know the answer as it often has a shy and cheeky smile too: 'what song would you like to listen to?’ 'What song would you like to listen to?’…sometimes I think there is a comprehension issue there too, but I don’t know. He calls himself Boogie and water Booga. Jelly, and, insultingly, my belly, are 'wibble-wobble’. He has Up and Down (well, gun) sorted. He tells me 'Lyra’s diaper’ when I tell him I need to change his. He is into re-directing me already! His comprehension of everything is excellent. You can ask him to do anything and he will understand. He is certainly frustrated by the limitations of his speech.  His rage is sudden and profound when he is not understood and my hopelessness means all I can do is comfort him. Many of his words ARE very similar sounding, even to the best-trained ear. He talks and he talks though! We make up bedtime stories for him - mine are usually about T-Rex and Pterodactyl, two best buds who have suspiciously toddlery lives. After I’ve told him a story he will tell me a story about them too. Usually the same story - out of the mass of words I can pick out a few coherent ones which allow me to recognise my story. He has amazing intonation and cadence - you can tell when a character is talking and his voice swoops up and down the scale with his story.  Then he always ends with a chipper 'E A!’ (The End!) E A! 

[janeyland]

Two Different Children

Before Lyra was born I really had no idea how it would be to have another child.  The question everyone always asks I imagine is how will they love a second child as much as they do their first, with all of the crazy obsession that is involved. The answer was pretty much what other people had told me it would be, but also completely surprising to experience!  Your second child is a different child from the first, so you love them in a completely different way. I remember the stormy evening when Thorny was born, shortly before 11 in the evening.  A giant purple and black, hot and furious fish of a baby. It seems in my memory that everything was dark and there was thunder and lightning in the room. The second I saw his face I knew him. There was a feeling of recognition: ‘Oh it was YOU’. Of course it was him! It was like I had always known it. And I recognised so much of myself in Thorny, and I still do. The highly strung and very emotional temperament is, I feel, mine. I remember reaching down and feeling his head, with his hair, before he was born. Thorny, I felt from the beginning, was of and from me. Part of me. I knew him the moment I met him and I loved him as something that wasn’t even new. I loved him because he was me, in a weird and inexplicable way. Lyra was born in the morning at 5.37 at Sussex County, at the top of a tall tower. It seems to me that the room was flooded with early morning light. I feel like the room was in a lighthouse and was all windows with a glass ceiling. I remember the moment when they said her head was coming, when I was saying I couldn’t do it anymore, and then I realised I had done it. My body was very long and I could look down it and see just her born head, before the rest of her emerged. It was lilac with open eyes and a closed grim little mouth. A little perfect head sticking out, face up. I have no idea if this is true or not but it is what I absolutely remember. My body was about ten feet long and she was there poking out. I definitely didn’t get the feeling of recognition with Lyra. I wonder if this is common with second babies, because you are not giving birth to a replica of your first again - the one you recognise as your child. She was a stranger to me. I didn’t feel detached - I needed her and I wanted her and loved her straight away, but she could have been someone else’s baby. When she was born I started the process of learning and loving this little stranger. She was unknown and mysterious to me in a way Thorny wasn’t. And I fell in love with her like you do an external thing - maybe external things are the only things you ever need to fall in love with?  It was an amazing intense obsession filled with delightful discoveries, and it still is. I wouldn’t want Lyra to think it was any less of a thing than it was with Thorny, because it absolutely wasn’t. It was absolutely different though, and still is. Lyra is an easy baby and we haven’t had any of those awful nights where we are face to face locked in battle as Thorny and I definitely did in the first few months. Those nights definitely forged something in our relationship. With Lyra it has been more of a process of developing this obsessive and viciously protective love of this wonderful and horrifically vulnerable baby who Tom and I, apparently, created. Every morning in Lyra’s early days I would join Tom and Thorn after we woke up feeling more and more in love, more like a unit with her. I always knew Thorn, but I got to know Lyra and I am still getting to know her. And this has been the basis of different relationships with them from the start.  I love them both so so much, and I experience each of them so so differently.

[janeyland]

A-moosin’ we will go!

There is an elephant in the room at home where Thorn is concerned. Its familiar, familial, creak can be heard from before dawn right up until bedtime. It's this guy:

Sometimes he also looks like this:

Thorny was given his moose for his first birthday. Probably then the moose looked more like this:

It has become his biggest obsession. I shudder to calculate the hours spent moosing. We moosed until his antlers fell off.  We moosed ‘til Thorny developed moosey callouses on his toddler hands. Then we carried on moosin'! He can rock himself on the moose but he won't - he wants us to do it. Tom and I have different roles here. I rock him and sing various songs and nursery rhymes that we develop, while Tom introduces him to various pop songs he thinks he will like. There is quite some variety - from Taylor Swift and Justin Timberlake to Elton John, The Eagles, Prince, and emo-gods Imagine Dragons. Each song has rituals - a huge hug interrupts moosing during Owl City's Fireflies. Thorny will dismount the moose and rush, giggling, over to me during the intro to Pull Shapes by the Pippettes. He has recently sat and seriously listened along to Radio Gaga so that he knew how to sing along with it, which he now does with a raucous, joyful abandon. He also has moments of melancholy, rocking grimly on as he stares into space, unreachable. These times worry me. He sets up tableaux on the windowsill of all of his favourite objects so he can watch them as he mooses, oftentimes jumping off mid song to minutely adjust the positioning of a dinosaur, or grab his star cookie cutters from the kitchen to add to the mix. Sometimes he forgets to actually do any moosing, so busy is he setting up his environment. 

He loves to sit atop blankets on the moose - presumably for comfort. But, further, he likes to sit on things on the moose. His wooden dinosaurs, for example. He will arrange them meticulously on the seat and then lever himself on top of them. Woe betide all of us if one slips out from under him. That is not popular.

He is a little like a chicken - he sits on things to confirm his ownership of them, I think (presumably chickens do that?). Sometimes, with Lyra's teether is the item, for example, this is achievable. At other times, with his Fisher Price garage or his set of Play-doh pots, this is completely crazy. But it is important to try.

He has various ways of instigating a session. When he's employing charm he will put the most beautiful smile on his face and approach the moose with tiny little shuffling steps, and stand next to it making sweet little pert movements while he eyes us, silently and grinningly. Or he can employ frustration and whining, which will develop into rage. Often he doesn't need to instigate it as we know that certain times are Moose Time and we will automatically take our place on the rug and await commencement. 

I am ambivalent about this moose activity! Partly it is wonderful - he has fun in different ways with both of us during moosing-times - and he gets to direct what happens. But also it can become a really passive time for him - often times he isn't thinking or responding and I think it's probably worse for him than watching tv. It almost feels like we are using it as a pacifier for him at times too - an easy thing to do with him when we are tired. Sometimes it can make him really upset - he gets furiously angry if something goes wrong and he is then inconsolable. It is a mixed blessing for sure. Problematic and often guilt/anxiety inducing for me at times, it also allows me to engage with him while feeding Lyra - which is perfect, although it can trigger in Thorn a jealous anger. We develop new songs and have fun, and we laugh so much. Sometimes we both phone it in, neither Thorny nor I paying much attention to a song, and then it goes wrong and I do feel like a bad parent. But then there are the times when Tom comes up from work and Thorn will run to him shouting 'Boof! Boof!' and there follows a wonderful period of reconnection and ritual before bedtime. 

[janeyland]

Got some 'splainin' to do!

So there has been a year’s hiatus since my last Janeyland update, bar the one from two days ago. Probably it is no coincidence that I currently have, in addition to my now 2 ½ year old Thorn, a 12 week old daughter. My maths would suggest that the break pretty much coincides with the start of my third pregnancy!

Lyra Alexandra Bramwell-Donlan was born at 5.37 on 31 October (she is our Spooky Pumpkin) weighing a lovely little 8lb8oz. There is so much tell of her - the surprise of her difference from Thorn, the wonderful newbornness, the transition from a family of three to a family of four, and the differences I have experienced as a second-time mother. And, of course, Thorny’s experiences as he stopped being the Only One and became instead the Eldest One. The pregnancy was completely different from the last. The birth was different too - harder and easier - and the preconceptions I had this time round were easily as incorrect as they were the first time.

So, so much to tell. and beyond the arrival of Lyra and the ripples of that there is more to tell - Thorny’s 2016 - for the vast majority of it it was just business as usual with just him and me during the week, and his mad development. He has made the transition from being a baby to a little boy! The photos show it! His behaviour does too - he is no longer accepting and passive about things, but is fully engaged and willing and ready to challenge and reject everything. When I look back at old pictures of a baby-Thorn I am struck by his natural good natured mess and willingness to be excited and go along with everything. Good natured-ness is still at the heart of the guy but acceptance is no longer the only face of him that we see, it is fair to say!

In terms of other things that have happened Tom had a jarring and difficult job change, I managed to fit a counselling course in, between the second and seventh month of pregnancy, rather conveniently, and we have grown into and worked on our new house. 2016 was a terrible year in so many ways, particularly on a world-news level, but there were good things to. And one amazing thing: this one!

Oh, and this one too!

[janeyland]

Eighteen Month Update (a year late)

I wrote this update a year ago, when Thorny was just about a year and a half. Then for various reasons it stayed in drafts. And exactly what I write about happening happened - I didn’t feel I could write anymore as there was so much to catch up on. But a friend messaged me today and suggested I carry on with the blog so I will! There is much news in Janeyland which I will update in the next few days, but first I will give the 18 month update. Reading it has brought back some lovely memories!  Here goes…

Time goes so fast and life is so busy so I haven’t written for such a long time that I was getting to be point of thinking that I’d better abandon the blog altogether because there is no way to catch up! This is a silly thought, so what I’ll do is a little list about the amazing things Thorny is doing and what he’s into and up to right now. Then I’ll be up to date!  It could kinda count as an 18 month update too:

Snoozy guy: when he wakes up for a feed in the evening or night - not a proper wake up - he is now such a snoozy little guy. He sits up and is so groggy. He rubs his ear with the back of his hand and is very blinky or has his eyes completely shut!  He has trouble sitting up, and keeps listing, like he’s falling back to sleep.  This feels weirdly really grown up - we struggle with transitioning to awakeness too. Conversely when he’s waking up for a proper wake up, after a nap, or when it’s time to get up in the morning, he is instantly absolutely awake! He’ll wake from a long nap and instantly roll off my lap and run to the window shouting ‘ba!’ (Bus)  before I’ve even realised he’s no longer asleep! This brings me to…

Buses!  This has slightly passed now but for the longest time he has been obsessed with watching buses out of the window.  He would take his toys over to the window so he could play with them and keep eye out for buses at the same time, and if you told him a bus was coming when he was doing something else he’d finish what he’s doing (eg stacking his stacking cups) before running to window to see.  Christmas day was hard for him because no buses were running and he spent so long just standing by the window waiting for them.  This obsession has started to wain now, and he just retains a casual interest these days, though he still loves our virtually daily bus trips.

Food!  This has become more important to Thorny. He has started to lick his fingers if he gets food in them. Also he is very much a more is more guy - Collecting food and putting as much in his mouth as possible. Most things get littered over the floor during the course of the meal. The exception to this is curry and biscuits. These are never dropped!

We get an amazed face and uncertain shy smile if he gets given big bit of banana muffin or if he finds a glass of water on floor. This is really useful - it means we can intercept things before they get knocked over!

Charm! Thorny has discovered charm in the least subtle way possible. He is pretty transparent, this one. He does an amazing ingratiating smile when he wants tv or milk. and a hilarious ‘aaahhhh!’ In a coaxing voice, sliding up a scale. It works quite often, because it is so funny.

Cuddles! He is into them! All the time! Gorgeous!

Learning stuff we do - he practises stuff - putting socks on by draping them over his feet. He very carefully practises putting down his cup of water. He is learning skills!

Focus! Thorny has such an ability to focus. He has worked and worked on his stacking cups for months and now he is a genius at them. He can do so much with them. Watching him work with them is like watching an expert do his thing - proficiency and attention.  It is like he has put in 10,000 hours! Possibly he has. 

Games! He participates in games - he will hold his hands out for patticake, and he loves being scared if I hide behind a door and jump out at him. He puts his plate on his face at dinner time and thinks he is the funniest guy!

Dancing!  When he is angry he does a stamping dance - and when he is happy he does a happy dance!

This was the 18 month update. I will try to do an update over the next couple of days to bring us up to date. Inevitably a lot will be lost from the year I missed. But if I start again now then less will be lost than if I stopped altogether!

[trendingnewsb]

Queen Bette Midler Finally Wins Her First Competitive Tony Award

The Divine Miss M just made personal Tonys history.

Bette Midler, star of the Broadway revival of Hello, Dolly!, won her first competitive Tony award on Sunday night, taking home the statuette for Best Actress in a Musical. Shed previously won a special (non-competitive) award in 1974 for adding lustre to the Broadway season, but, at 71, she finally nabbed the recognition she deserved.

Im so privileged. Im so honored, she said as she accepted her award. I hope I dont cry, she added, before joking about dating most of the Tony voters.

Midlers speech was probably one of the longest of the night the orchestra attempted to play her off, but she continued speaking, outlasting the musical crescendo. Revival is an interesting word, she could be heard saying when the music stopped. It means near death.

She wrapped up by telling audiences thatHello, Dolly! had never really gone away, encouraging everyone to see the classic show.

Michael Ochs Archives via Getty Images

Bette Middler circa 1970.

Born in 1945, Midler made her Broadway debut in Fiddler on the Roof in 1964. Throughout out her decadeslong career in show business,the singer-songwriter-actor-comedian won several Grammys and Emmys, leaving her one letter away from the coveted EGOT designation. Shes been twice-nominated for an Oscar for her roles in The Rose and For the Boys, but has yet to secure an Academy Award.

In fact, in 1979, Midler lost an Oscar to Norma Rae actress Sally Field, who, this year,was also nominated for a Tony for Best Actress in a Play for her role inThe Glass Menagerie. But Field lost the award toA Dolls House, Part 2 actress Laurie Metcalf. So … what goes around, comes around?

Hello, Dolly!, based on Thornton Wilders 1938 play The Merchant of Yonkers,was famously adapted into a movie starring Barbra Streisand. It tells the story of a matchmaker, Dolly Levi played by Midler in the 2017 production a professional meddler who falls for a client, the grumpy near-millionaire Horace Vandergelder.

Check out more of the 2017 Tony Award winners here.

Dimitrios Kambouris via Getty Images

Bette Midler at the 2017 Tony Awards.

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Read more: http://ift.tt/2ssY8X0

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2r9daNv via Viral News HQ

[janeyland]

'Boof!'

Thorny said 'blue' for the first time today. It is 'boof' with a short 'oo' like 'wood'. He also repeats 'I love you' back to you ('wa wuh woo') but I don't think he know what it means; it's just a phrase he hears a lot.

[janeyland]

Laundry

Thorny decided to help me hang up the laundry today. He kept picking up socks I'd hung on the other side of the airer and bringing them round to me saying 'Gish!' (His word for socks) in the sweetest high little voice. It was the loveliest moment with the loveliest baby 💓

[janeyland]

I really want to write about Thorny's talking, because it is so amazing. He is discovering his voice in so many varied ways right now!

So, Thorn started saying Babababa and Mamamama and Gagagagaga a while ago. This was after the amazing two days where he said GligGlagGlig and then forgot how to say it. But for the longest times these words just seemed to be words with no real meaning. The first thing he said which seemed to have some meaning was 'Ba Ba Boogie' (the 'boogie' has the 'oo' sound of 'could') which is now sometimes 'Ba Ba Bookie' or 'Ba Ba Booger', which makes him sound like he's cursing in a northern accent. He says it when he's excited or happy. When I ask him at dinner if he'd like some water he mutters 'Boogie' to himself with an excited little smile. Then we got 'Gaga' which was definitely for Daddy. It was just those two for a while and them Ma-am came along, which I think has become about me, but I am undure about this. Gaga has kind of disappeared now, or at least he won't say it on request, but Ma-am-am is going strong.

He has a special voice he uses when he says Ma-am-am and it is so beautiful. His 'mam' rhymes with 'ham' (Or do all mams?). Until recently if you asked him to say it he would always pause and have to think quite hard about it, but he finds it easier now. He has quite a deep, low little voice when he says it. A little breathy. It has a particular cadence to it, often ending with a little laugh.

Thorny is shy about new words. When he says them for the first time he is very bashful and giggly. He gets a certain look on his face - he opens his mouth, has a little smile, and is clearly thinking hard. We just had Gaga, Mama, and Ba Ba Boogie until very recently, but now he has started to pick up random words that we say and say those too. There are three so far:

One day I was explaining to him about the washing machine, and how we have to wait for it to go 'click' before we can open the door. He immediately repeated the word 'click' back to me! It's more of a 'Gleeee'. And he is so excited and shy about it! Then he started saying 'hi'.  He says 'ah' in a funny little high voice, like an exclamation! It took a while for him to think about it for a little while but now he can just say it. He accompanies it with his new waving skills! Then, as I think I wrote about earlier, he has started to say 'purple' after we read one of his books about colour which has a purple house in. At first it was hard to distinguish 'purple' from 'boogie' but he also says it as a very purposeful ‘Per--PUL’.

It is such a period of constant change. Maybe it always has been, but it seems more noticeable now than ever. Communication with him is happening more than ever, and he is so receptive. He understands a lot.  I can ask him to sit down when I read to him, and he will. If I say we are going to clean his teeth, he'll plod off to the bathroom and wait for me there. If I ask him if he wanted to go to the swings he will walk to his pram. He understands and get excited if I ask him if he fancies rowing some boats, which is one of his favourite songs. He knows where his glass of water is during mealtimes and when I mention water he looks at it.

He's using his voice in other ways too.  He has an awful shriek he can roll out, which could be temper related, or could be just because he can. It annoys people in co-op, and I'm 50/50 on it (when other people find it annoying I champion it, but otherwise I do find it quite awful, especially when we’re shopping for clothes or in Boots). His grumbling voice is amazing. It's really a 'Rashin Fashin' of a grump, muttering a babble of things while looking aggrieved. I love it! I so relate to him at these moments! I am sure he swears at me too, saying a load of gutteral staccato things to me when I’m being really annoying.  He also has a gorgeous singing thing he does when he's mellow and in a good mood. Kind of a sub-conscious thing he does when he's playing and pottering around. It starts with BaBaBa, and he just takes it for a walk - he almost does arpeggios of BaBaBa, or he has a high-pitched talking inflection, or he'll sound like a busybody who is relating something scandalous that the neighbour has done. If you're smart and lucky you can turn one of his complaining voices into a happy singing BaBaBa by starting to BaBa yourself. But this doesn't always work.  

In addition to this Tom noticed that he actually was singing today.  I would never have noticed it, just assuming it to be some of his general chatter, but he was singing ‘Gagaga’ to the tune of Frere Jacques, a song we sing to him often!  Pretty mad stuff!

It's really quite amazing! I guess we need to start watching what we say now! I guess he's been taking it in all of this time and now he's able to show us that. Pretty soon we're going to have a talking guy!

[janeyland]

The Swings

I don’t think there is a purer happiness than the happiness I feel when I am pushing Thorn on the swings.  It is his favourite thing to do, bar none.  When you first put him on he is so happy and he grins and laughs.  It’s the one suggestion which will always cheer him up and send him running off to the front door.  Here’s a picture of him earlier this week (he has apple on his face too).

It makes me think of Mudita - this idea, as I understand it, of selfless happiness.  Happiness at somebody else’s joy or success.  And this is a real manifestation of it.  I don’t know if it is my joy I’m feeling, or his, or maybe it is the combination of both which makes such moments so intoxicating.  

[janeyland]

I love watching Thorn figure things out.  Recently he’s been playing a lot with his stacking cups and his plastic balls, and he’s been figuring out how to put a ball into a cup (usually onto, really, as the ball is bigger than the cup, so it just sits on the top a la egg and egg cup).  At first he used to find it didn’t work because his fingers would always be curved over the lip of the cup, but then he figured out he had to move them.  Now he sits and puts the ball in the cup and then moves his fingers out the way so it stays in.  What a clever boy he is!

[janeyland]

Wants and Needs

I’m not sure when it began, but Thorny is now very good at asking for things!  He doesn’t really use words - he can growl when he’s frustrated, and shriek when he’s bored, and he does the sweetest crazy-ass hysterical giggle when he gets what he wants - but even though he is not asking verbally, his methods are still very effective!

He will walk up to you and put a toy that he wants you to play with in your face or on your shoulder.  He comes up to you with toys he wants switched on, too, and then plods off happily holding it when it’s working.  He constantly requests books to be read by bringing them to you and saying ‘Ga’ which seems to mean ‘read this to me’ and also maybe ‘again’ as he will press a book you’ve just read to him back into your hands with a very sweet and insistent ‘Ga’ as soon as you’re done reading it the first time.

He has recently started asking to go on his rocking moose, by either going to it and holding onto it and jumping up and down, or by dragging it into the centre of the room (strong guy, this one!), and then of course there is his favourite thing to ask for - milk.  He has upped the ante on this recently, dragging a pillow up to me every twenty minutes to half an hour.  He used to play very happily on his own, but this seems to have disappeared over the last couple of days, and a parent is now required!

Oftentimes I think he doesn’t particularly want the thing he is asking for - with milk for example, he sometimes just latches on for a couple of seconds before coming off again and getting back down onto the floor, and then he has been know to just immediately go to grab ANOTHER pillow and bring that over to me to request more milk.  I think he is taking delight in knowing that he can influence what we do, and he is seeing how far this can go.  I’m so happy for him that he has realised this - it’s so important for him to feel that he has power in the world and I’m keen to facilitate this wherever possible.  We spend a lot of time starting to read him books while he wanders off to bring us another one to press into our faces.  I find the nursing thing a little hard - but I also wonder if this is a way of him trying to up my supply, or maybe he is having a growth spurt, so I try to agree to it where possible, though it appears I am not above trying to change the subject and get him building a tower, or reading a book; nursing is draining in more ways than one and the constant on-off does not always make for a concentrated latch.

It’s a fine line I guess to try to balance your needs and his needs, and also his needs with his wants.  Sometimes I have to stop playing or reading, or whatever, really, in order to prepare our food, or do other daily things.  And I, obviously, have to change his diaper a number of times every day, which he hates very much indeed.  He tries to run away when I tell him I have to do it, and he’ll arch his back, and become hard to hold, and he’ll cry proper tears.  I can understand it - he’s on his back, which he hates. and he is being stopped from doing what he wants, and I guess that unfortunately it is a situation where I am demonstrating dominance over him.  This is something I really don’t want to do - but really there is no way around this.  I can try to make it more pleasant for him, but this will not always work - though I must say that the sight of him lying back on his changing mat leafing through That’s Not My Train while I change his diaper is one of the drollest sights to date.

I feel that it is good to do my best to say ‘yes’ to whatever he wants if I possibly can - and his wants are basically as outlined above, and are very sweet and small.  I want him to be aware of his power in his family and in the world, and it is important to me to treat him with the same respect I would anyone else, and I guess I generally try to accommodate people’s wants and need where possible.  I don’t think this will 'spoil’ him.  I think it should make him confident and aware that he has desires, and that he is allowed to ask for what he wants, and have those desires met, where possible. Tom, Thorn, and I are all in this together and we all have our parts to play. So much of what we do has been about according Thorn respect. It is wonderful to have these new opportunities to show him that he is valid and valued and important.