#This was always a popularity contest not an essay question

[lemonlilypufftangerine]

Miles Edgeworth, the world fan favorite, won the poll. It is funny he only won by 0.2% but less countries by the sheer numbers of votes in Asia.

Also super funny because the more Japan related protags (Phoenix and Ryuunosuke) lost in Japan by a lot but won in the west vs the European/American man depending on the version.

Also funny Apollo won in the US while Ryuunosuke won IN CANADA!

I will never be over this. What's the aa Canadian community like? Congrats on being correct, I'm so glad he didn't come in last and that individual countries were examined. There really was a campaign for Apollo on English twitter, so u guys kinda won, 😅.

Surprised they made Apollo say this, but y'know. They do think that. But then still not translate all their games into English, 🙃 (I'm still waiting for you aai duology and Captured Palm Otome).

[samchristian23]

Discussion Leader Panel Presentation - Race and Representation

While the song “Can’t Hold Us Down” by Christina Aguilera1 is mostly about female empowerment and resisting gender stereotypes, the music video conveys even more, with stark imagery of a community that is made up primarily of people of color. The intersectionality that the video possesses is key to understanding its message. In Stuart Hall’s essay “What is this ‘black’ in black popular culture?2,” he introduces his idea that the “Black” in Black popular culture is not a set idea, rather it is a fluid conversation of Blackness. In his words, “What we are talking about is the struggle over cultural hegemony, which is these days waged as much in popular culture as anywhere else”3. While, as I stated earlier, on the surface this video is about what it means to be a woman, its underlying themes are of race and representation, which is the real battle being fought. This intersectionality is still key to Hall’s philosophy. As he says, “We are always in negotiation, not with a single set of oppositions that place us always in the same relation to others, but with a series of different positionalities”4. Aguilera’s exploration of themes of sexuality while using the backdrop of a primarily people-of-color community is this video’s way of continuing the conversation about what it means to be “Black”, or in the video’s case, simply “other”. “The Other” is a concept Edouard Edward Said introduces in his seminal book Orientalism5. In the context of the Orient, better known as Asia, he states that “​​The Orient is not only adjacent to Europe; it is also the place of Europe’s greatest and richest and oldest colonies, the source of its civilizations and languages, its cultural contestant, and one of its deepest and most recurring images of the other”6. He goes on to say that Europe sees Asia as “its contrasting image, idea, personality, experience”7, yet it is “an integral of European material civilization and culture”7. While Aguilera’s video does not explicitly speak about Orientalism, some key themes are very present. In Orientalism, Said refers to the way Asia is perceived as “‘a place of romance, exotic beings, haunting memories and landscapes, remarkable experiences”6. Essentially, Orientalism places emphasis on the mystification of Asian culture, through the power of European colonialism. The environment Aguilera’s video is set in is extremely colorful, and, as previously mentioned, mostly populated with people of color. Most of the very few white people in this video appear in the beginning, shown throwing milk into the street below. This can be seen as a representation of Orientalist themes. The white people are placed above the people of color who populate the streets below, and throw milk onto them, which can represent the Orientalist turn of imposing Euro-centricity on the culture of those colonized and disenfranchised.

Of course, the question must be asked, is this music video an authentic representation of the culture and community that it’s presenting to us? In their book Unthinking Eurocentrism8, Ella Shohat and Robert Stam consider the way that race and representation exist in the media. Under the section “Writing Hollywood And Race” in the chapter “Stereotype, Realism And The Struggle Over Representation,” they argue that there is an important distinction between media image and social reality. They use the documentary Color Adjustment to help their argument, stating that “Color Adjustment underlines this contrast between media image and social reality by suggestively juxtaposing sitcom episodes with documentary street footage”9. I’d like to pose the thought that perhaps Aguilera’s video would fall under the category of sitcom in this comparison, at least when it comes to the ideas of race and representation. Aguilera, who is of Ecuadorian, German, Irish, Welsh, and Dutch descent, did not grow up in people of color dominated areas of New York. She lived in Wexford, PA for most of her adolescence, a town in a majority-white county. This music video may feel inauthentic to many because it may not be authentic to Aguilera’s experiences. Which brings me to Kendrick Lamar

Kendrick Lamar grew up in Compton, CA, at a time when the city’s high crime rates were national news, due to the prominence of gangster rap groups like NWA. The music video for his song “i”10 showcases this environment prominently. From the cars to the police uniforms, the video harkens back to a time when Kendrick was growing up in South Central Los Angeles. In my estimation, Kendrick Lamar’s video represents more of the “documentary footage” that Shohat and Stam mentioned in their comparison with media image and social reality. Aguilera’s video can be felt as inauthentic because it feels like a sitcom, not in a comedic way but in a matter of faux reality. Kendrick’s video feels like a documentary because of its groundedness in his childhood and the experiences of his city. It should be noted that Aguilera appears to darken her skin in her video. As previously stated, Hall believes that popular culture is a place where the concept of “Black” is able to be conversed about. Kendrick, in his music video for “i”, is able to redefine “Blackness” on his own terms. He presents different depictions of Black characters in every moment. One moment that shows great contrast of character and incredible conversation in his own mind on the topic of “Blackness” comes at the 2:20 mark in the video for “i”11.

Kendrick walks past a house, on the front porch of which a man yells at a woman; presumably they are in a relationship. In this very same moment, two Black children, one boy and one girl, run by, playing together, juxtaposing the depiction of adult negativity behind them. There are many things that can be interpreted from this shot, which perhaps even greater lends itself to the argument that it is more “documentary footage”. The perceived authenticity of Kendrick Lamar’s “i” video thus lends itself to a challenge of Orientalist ideals. While the video does show White police officers arresting a Black man at 1:4312, seemingly exerting that idea of power over “the other” that Orientalism is built so much upon, it is immediately followed by Kendrick and his crew of dancers/partygoers weaving through the group of cops with numbers that far outweigh what the cops possess, thus re-establishing power over themselves.

Works Cited

1Aguilera, Christina. “Christina Aguilera - Can’t Hold Us Down (Official HD Video).” YouTube, November 18, 2009. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg8QgUIKXHw&t=196s.

2Hall, Stuart. “What Is This ‘Black’ in Black Popular Culture?” Essay. In Critical Dialogues in Cultural Studies. London, United Kingdom: Routledge, 1996. 

3Hall. “What Is This ‘Black’ in Black Popular Culture?”, 471

4Hall. “What Is This ‘Black’ in Black Popular Culture?”, 476

5Said, Edward. “Introduction.” Essay. In Orientalism. London, United Kingdom: Routledge, 1978. 

6Said. Orientalism, 9

7Said. Orientalism, 10

8Shohat, Ella, and Robert Stam. “Stereotype, Realism And The Struggle Over Representation.” Essay. In Unthinking Eurocentrism. New York, NY: Routledge, 1994. 

9Shohat and Stam. “Stereotype, Realism And The Struggle Over Representation”, 198

10Lamar, Kendrick. “Kendrick Lamar - i (Official Video).” YouTube, November 4, 2014. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aShfolR6w8. 

11Lamar. “i”, 2:20

12Lamar. “i”, 1:43

Discussion Questions

Can the darkening of one’s skin make the work feel more authentic, and when might this backfire?

Does either video engage in stereotype, and if so, does it detract from the video or benefit it?

Is fair to compare the music videos for these songs, though the lyrics of the songs convey such different messages, and can a music video change a son’s message?

[xd3str0yax]

Sweetheart

Diabetic teacher Steve & teacher Billy

Being a teacher was time consuming to say the least. Getting time alone during the day was a rare occurrence for him between classes and tutoring students during his off period and the students eating in his classroom during lunch. It was no secret that he was one of the more popular teachers.

What was a secret though, was why he always seemed to have his biceps covered. No matter the weather, he always made a clear effort to keep his upper arms hidden. That raised the question among his students: ‘what was Mr. Harrington hiding?’.

-•-•-•-

“How many times do I have to tell you two? Quit talking!” He typically didn’t mind his students whispering to each other during class but he’d been irritable the whole class period. “Now, I’ve noticed many of you are struggling with imagery in your essays. The key to effective imagery is good vocabulary…” He trailed off a bit as he spoke, feeling sick.

“Um… go ahead and note imagery in your independent reading books.” He said as he sat down at his desk. The behavior change was noticed by the class but with how on edge he’d been, everyone decided to keep their mouths shut.

Steve broke his ‘no phones’ policy, using it to check his CGM: continuous glucose monitor. “Fuck.” He muttered, unfortunately loud enough to earn snickers from a few students near his desk. His blood sugar level was only 57 mg/dl, AKA, too low.

He opened up his snack drawer… empty. “Crap… this is fine, everything’s fine.” He whispered to himself. Lunch was in an hour, he could wait til then. He sipped his water, hoping it would help soothe his nausea. He rested his head on his desk, hoping his students wouldn’t notice how sick he looked.

15 minutes had gone by and he felt like he was spinning. He looked up, visibly pale & disoriented, as he heard a knock and the classroom door opening. The students looked worried as they eyed their haggard teacher and the stranger approaching him. They began quietly speaking amongst themselves, unsure of what was going on.

-•-•-•-

Being a middleschool art teacher was a more relaxed job than Billy expected. He gave a lesson at the beginning of class then gave his students the rest of the time to work. After those first 30 minutes of class, he mostly just watched the class and pretended not to find humor in the many penises the hoard of pre-teens created.

He was talking to a student about an art contest she had entered when an alarm went off on his phone. He interrupted himself and rushed to his desk to check his husband’s blood sugar.

Billy went to get a teacher to cover his class while he rushed to the highschool. He grabbed the emergency bag from his car and ran over. He knew Steve had a habit of neglecting himself but he still expected Steve to take care of it after the first two alerts. Now though, it was his time to take over.

-•-•-•-

“Bills? What’re you doing here?” Steve asked. “You cant keep doing this to yourself, sweetheart.” Billy stated, coming around the desk and kneeling in front of him. The brunette’s cheeks flushed a bit as he realized all eyes in the room were on them.

“Im fine, babe.” Steve weakly protested as Billy took a case out of the desk and unzipped it. “I’m not gonna let you have a seizure in front of a bunch of teenagers just because you’re stubborn.” He said as he pricked the other man’s finger and squeezed the blood onto the test strip.

Steve was embarrassed and he wanted to be upset with Billy for double checking his blood sugar in front of his class but he knew he was right. He tried to hide his face a bit, he hated when people saw him while managing his diabetes. Even after over a decade with it, he’s still just as shy about it now as he was as a kid.

His thoughts were interrupted by Billy handing him a bottle of apple juice & bag of pretzels, it was small but should get his blood sugar up enough so he doesn’t die while waiting for his lunch break. He finished the carbs and decided to introduce the living spectacle that was lingering in the room, waiting so they could get lunch together.

“Class… this is my husband Bi- Mr. Hargrove. He’s a teacher at the middle school and he’s gonna be staying the rest of the period.” He managed to resist the urge to call Billy by his first name and then gave him the floor.

Billy was slightly panicked as the rooms attention turned to him. He wasn’t good with teenagers, that’s the main reason he didn’t become a highscool teacher. “Uh, hi! I’m Billy- or Mr. Hargrove- either one’s fine. I’m an art teacher at the middle school right across the street.”

He paused for a moment and leaned back over to Steve. “Is it ok if I explain it to them?” He asked in a hushed voice. Once he got permission, he faced the class again. “Basically, Mr. Harrington’s body can’t regulate its blood sugar so sometimes it’ll get really low and he can pass out or have seizures or die, or it can get really high and stuff can build up in his blood and he can go into a coma or die.”

He started explaining the different types of diabetes while Steve kept an eye on his blood sugar, eating carbs accordingly. Honestly, he thinks its a bit cute: all the stuff Billy’s learned just to help take care of him. It would’ve been so easy for Billy to just leave him to deal with it alone but he didn’t.

He watched billy dreamily, a fond smile crept onto his face as he started tuning back in to the conversation. At some point, Billy’s rambling turned from diabetes to a debate with a student about basketball. He loves watching those blonde curls bounce as he gets more animated when he talks about things he’s passionate about.

Billy finished his debate and came back over to check Steve again. “You feeling better, sweetheart?” He asked as he checked the monitor again. A smile growing on his face as he saw it was a somewhat normal amount again. He pressed a gentle kiss to his husbands forehead as the bell rang.

[oblivious-aro]

Wow! What a delicious essay!

Yeah I feel like with jerk characters the writers just want to have someone who makes snarky characters, and don’t really consider how said character meshes with the rest of the cast. Going back to the Jax example, he feels like he should get more push back from the others, but the writers use him as more of a one-liner dispenser than a character.

The point of Thief’s characterization is so that Lady Luck can bounce her quips off of him and tear him down like she does the other contestants. His jerky characterization is used as a tool for the story and characters, not just a tool for the writer's benefit.

“Do you remember when Rick and Morty was a thing?”

I try not to let fandom views sway my views too too much, but honestly with the disproportionate way fandom tends to jump on those kinds of characters, I can’t really blame anyone who’s sick of them because of that alone. Especially since writers themselves seem to respond to the popularity.

Ugh, reddit really does suck for media analysis. I made the mistake of looking up people’s opinions of Nya and Franziska von Karma there. That website's definitely better for stuff like cooking questions than opinions on characters.

“Throw in the way it only ever seems to apply to men…” Ha ha wow, isn't that a weird coincidence…

“It's not so much a twist as the objectively correct take on this trope, but it's still unique and genuinely insightful in a way I haven't seen since.” Oh my gosh someone put the feeling into words! Sometimes a character isn't “subversive”, they're just well written and happen to be adjacent to a known trope/archetype.

Yes! I love how in Reunion you can see how teaming up to beat Lady Luck to escape the dungeon formed a bond between the contestants. Theif's still his greedy self, but he's learned the importance of teamwork and stuff. Yay!

Yeah, a lot of Nya's writing decisions kind of send sketchy messages, but they also happen to make her really cool.

“You get attached to your best skill, because that's how you prove yourself as a person. It comes easily to you and you never really work on anything else, and when you're pushed to do it, you hate that it doesn't come easily to you.”

You get it. You've said it all here (and I think I posted about it a while back), but season 5 Nya was so freaking real for this. I will always have a soft spot for season 5 because of how much I saw myself in Nya's struggle, and I was an adult when I watched it.

“I didn't consider myself an artist or writer or programmer for years because I thought the stuff I made was ugly and awkward”

I know imposter syndrome is extremely common, and I deal it myself, but it still really catches me off guard when some people struggle to feel confident in their work. I'm sure your stuff was a bit rougher back then than it was now, but still…

“I'm reminded of Wu telling Nya that while earth is strong and air is fluid, water can be both. I thought it was just a thing they wrote in to sound wise back then, but on reflection, it's some really kind encouragement for her to branch out.” Ooh, good catch

I'm sure my feelings on Skybound are well known at this point, so I'll just say Ninjago can managed to put some really compelling into Nya, despite the misogyny.

Yeah, you're pretty spot on with Edgeworth. Starts off as your seemingly typical anime rival type, but then you slowly discover someone very hurt and human and watch him change and slowly turn back to the light, in large part thanks to Phoenix's slightly ridiculous levels of faith and devotion (/pos).

His journey strongly ties into and supports Phoenix's character (being his inspiration stand up for those no one else with stand for and find the truth) while still very much being his own story. He's been hurt, but that just person Phoenix was inspired by so many years ago was still in there, even if getting him back out is a…messy process. In the end his philosophy and methods notably differ from Phoenix, but ultimately they both share the ultimate goal of finding the truth.

Yes, one Ace Attorney's greatest strengths is exploring its character's goals and arcs. That final case with Edgeworth is probably the best in the series because of all the buildup, how you got to know Edgeworth in court, how much he means to Phoenix, what he's been through, it all culminates in a kick-ass redemption where you get to save your friend and take down the ultimate bad guy! So hype!

Requesting Nya, Edgeworth, and Theif for the character bingo!

(It didn't surprise me that you have good taste in characters. Also, I should watch The Last Unicorn...)

(asks about my favourite fictional characters in 2024)

Oddly enough you got me kind of going on a theme with this one - they're all characters I expected to be tropey in a bad way, who all turn out way more interesting than I could've ever imagined. Huh.

A lot of words lie below about Dicey Dungeons (up to Reunion), the first two Ace Attorney games, and Ninjago (up to the end of season 6).

Spoilers for Dicey Dungeons (up to Reunion), the first two Ace Attorney games, and Ninjago up to the end of season 6. A warning for a mention of a suspected suicide in a backstory.

I'll start with Thief since I need a bit of warmup for the other ask you sent me:

Thief is the only time I've genuinely enjoyed a protagonist that… I'm not sure how to put it. Is shown to be a jerkass and a realist amongst a cast of otherwise very whimsical characters? Who's drawn to look roguish, sneaky, and clever, whether the writer backs that up or not. And for bonus points, is styled after D&D's aesthetics.

I usually hate characters like this. I think it's an oversaturation problem. Ronin's the closest example I have - a character that does nothing for his season's story and wins against the ninja purely out of plot necessity. Or consider Jax, who takes up a lot of screentime in TADC making the rest of the crew suffer, whose snarking really only makes the creators look insecure about the goofier elements of their own work.

And Jax has been confirmed to be a creator's favourite, which is… not concerning, but it's one of those things a creator can say to make you realise you see something very different in their work to them. Plus, a lot of people like him in the fandom. Which isn't technically part of the work. But it is annoying to see how so many people focus on this archetype even when it doesn't bring anything new to the table. This trope is always extremely obvious, and extremely obnoxious if you don't like it.

The worst thing is this isn't just relegated to the realm of fiction. Do you remember when Rick and Morty was a thing, and you had hordes of people looking up to Rick Sanchez as a role model because he was both smart and an asshole, and therefore the takeaway was that it was okay to be an asshole if you (thought you) were smart?

Maybe this is just because I made the mistake of using Reddit as a teenager, but I'm so sick of that attitude. Throw in the way it only ever seems to apply to men…

(as for the last point - I like the concept of magic and fantasy, but I'm not white and I'm fucking sick of how the genre is based in very strict archetypes when you could do anything with it. I won't elaborate on this or it'd be a whole 'nother essay; let's just say I dislike any aesthetic based off D&D.)

Thief is the only time I've seen a work dress this down: his whole arc is realising that he's been outclassed by somebody who knows the game much better than he does, and actually has the power to back it up (and is much funnier to watch too).

As Lady Luck so elegantly puts it:

"…Thief, who is so strangely proud of being clever and unpleasant! Do you think he minds that I'm so much cleverer, and so many times more unpleasant?"

You know that creeping feeling of dread you got playing the game? He's the character that embodies it best. I expected the game to play this completely straight like all those characters above, but it doesn't. It's not so much a twist as the objectively correct take on this trope, but it's still unique and genuinely insightful in a way I haven't seen since.

(Fun fact: it was actually seeing the episode 2 dialogue between Lady Luck and Thief that got me to stop playing the demo and get the full game! The streamer was fast-forwarding through all the text, but I paused and was like 'wait. this is good dialogue. I have to buy this.')

Reunion really drives this home. I love how he instead starts directing his snark outwards to keep his new friends safe. He actually does things now, as the tough negotiator of the group, rather than just claiming he's better than them. He's still kind of got his old greed in him with how he respects Lady Luck's plans to paint the moon as her face, and how he's here for profit first and foremost, but it's clear he's been forced to grow out of that previous obnoxiousness after being put through hell and back.

Dicey Dungeons has such good commentary on character tropes y'all. Seriously.

Nya's a character that had a personal impact on me growing up. I didn't notice it back then, but at least in the early seasons she's just. Objectively the coolest character in the cast. Albeit only because of misogyny reasons as you've noted, but a signifcant amount of Ninjago's appeal lies in its cool factor, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I always thought she was going to be Green Ninja as a kid.

I had to go back and check this, but we get the Samurai X reveal just before season 1 gets onto the full potential episodes. There's something about having to build your own power in a way that one-ups all your peers while keeping it secret from them that's so cool to me. While I have mixed feelings on whether it's a good thing or not, it reminds me of how I studied a lot of maths in my own time in primary school and did better than everyone else by a long shot. Plus you don't usually see girls straight up build mechs, so this blew my fucking mind as a kid.

It was cool to see representation like that. I really like how that specialisation then leads into her potential in season 5 - when she finally begins to branch into learning something new that doesn't seem to be her thing. I've seen people doubt how realistic that is, and while you can debate how well it was paced or whether it's a good decision for the series, that's a real problem you can run into when you're AFAB (or in any other oppressed group) and talented at one thing.

You get attached to your best skill, because that's how you prove yourself as a person. It comes easily to you and you never really work on anything else, and when you're pushed to do it, you hate that it doesn't come easily to you. I didn't consider myself an artist or writer or programmer for years because I thought the stuff I made was ugly and awkward; I knew a trans guy in secondary who straight up told me that he liked his subjects because they came easily to him (which good for him, but it still proves my point that this is a real thing people go through).

I'm reminded of Wu telling Nya that while earth is strong and air is fluid, water can be both. I thought it was just a thing they wrote in to sound wise back then, but on reflection it's some really kind encouragement for her to branch out. And I like how she quits angrily in her training and tries to run for ages. How she doesn't figure it out until the end. I can see myself in that. It's very nice.

And while Skybound's very. Divisive. I think it's a good 60% of a season for her. Her story up to the ending of episode 8 has been compelling - she wants Jay to respect her boundaries, she struggles to make herself known as a new part of the team due to her status, maybe she doesn't mind being in a relationship, but she wants to at least choose for herself. And the sheer amount of optimism encouragement and energy she has throughout the season for everyone is just great.

Yeah. She's great. She kicks ass. She's unfortunately stuck in a show lead by Male WritersTM but we sometimes stumble into some decent characterisation for her despite that. She's unfortunately lowkey but that means there's less parts of her to mangle over time.

…Ninjago was such a great show. It's such a shame it was capped at 6 seasons, but at least that means they treated Nya with respect throughout her runtime except for that one time…

Also I don't know how to tie this neatly into the essay. But a while ago LEGO released a really funny Ninjago explained video done by the Honest Trailers guy, and I still fucking love how he goes off about how talented Nya is for ages instead of making fun of most of the other Ninjas' archetypes (sans Cole), and just ends it with:

'so naturally she was the last one picked for the team. Seriously, they picked [Jay] over her?'

Edgeworth I have the least to say about - it's been a hot while since I've touched AA (and only the first two games at that) and I don't want to risk misremembering fandom concepts as canon.

But the main impact he made on me was that he seems so tailor-made to be your frustrating, comically evil anime rival for the entire plot. Opposing colour scheme, stupid animations, and all. You go in thinking he's made to be a smug bastard you can knock down, and you come out recoiling from that as soon as possible in horror.

And you feel so powerful when you finally get to team up with him against someone.

Yes he does pull out absolute bullshit like the updated autopsy report, and he's still pretty insulting even in later installations. But when you're working your way throughout the first game, and you start to poke at his motivations a little further? He has an iron-clad reason to want to become a prosecutor, even as potentially corrupt as his methods may be. He seeks to help Wright if it truly brings someone to justice, which is a better portrayal of the legal system than I've seen than from many other places.

And in the end, after he saves you, you have to go back and do the same for him. And it's the best case of the game. You not only blow open a decades-old case that's been hinted towards throughout the entire game, but you also finally cut your friend loose from the ghost that he didn't even know was haunting him for years. It ties the overarching plot and the main characters' personal endeavours together so well, which is the series' greatest strength, despite what the memes going around about its wacky hijnks would have you believe.

Plus, while it's not Edgeworth's doing himself, the amount of dedication Phoenix has towards this guy is great. Whether you read their bond as romantic or platonic (or otherwise), you get the sense Edgeworth must've been someone really special to Phoenix for him to try and chase him down through years of law school and all the bullshit you're put through in the previous 3 chapters. That's devotion right there, and it catches you entirely off-guard with what you go in expecting.

He feels very human. You learn about things like his Steel Samurai collection, you give him advice on how to grow beyond the mess that is DL6. You see him take that in the worst way possible by running off to a foreign country and implying that he might've killed himself. You expect none of it. It's very touching.

[rosaliepostsstuff]

Little steps (George Weasley x reader) | pt 2 - Interest

Pairing: George Weasley x reader, (hinted) OC x reader

Part 1

Word count: 3059

Summary: When the term starts Y/N tries to enjoy everyday life at Hogwarts, finds herself treated by the twins no more as just their brother’s friend or the popular girl and is excited for the Triwizard tournament to come. The announcement of the Yule Ball leaves her with many propositions, when she already thought she had a date set

Warnings: just a few swears

A/N: Strap back folks, cause I let loose. Didn’t want to rush things and was worried about the pacing of the plot. Excited for the next part cause we’re getting there...

September, 1994

This year was going to be a good one. All three of your previous years at Hogwarts, you and your friends never got to enjoy the ordinary. Each and every time, something was brewing, only to blow up right before the school year ended. Evenings spent on studying and essays were followed by trying to save the world. Or Hogwarts, at the very least. But not this time. You were trying to push back the memories of what happened after the Quidditch World Cup final and just be a teenager.

You sat between Hermione and Harry at the welcoming feast. The sorting hat had sang its song, and you curiously watched the sorting ceremony, wondering who’d join your house this year. But the most exciting thing that happened was, without a doubt, the announcement of the Triwizard Tournament. Even if it meant cancelling the Quidditch Cup that year, you hoped it would prove entertaining enough. You were also looking forward to what having students from two foreign wizarding schools would change in Hogwarts’ life. Only you’d have to wait two months to find out.

The next day was your first day of class, when everyone was starting to get back to their Hogwarts routine after weeks of vacation. The table was busy, some were discussing magical ways of making oneself older a few seats further, some were discussing their new timetables. You studied yours, chewing your toast and listening to what your friends had to say about it. -Today’s not bad… outside all morning, - said Ron, running his finger along Monday’s column -Herbology with the Hufflepuffs and Care of Magical Creatures… damn it, we’re still with the Slytherins… Herbology with Hufflepuffs, huh. You smiled a little to yourself. You had some friends in that house, two of them – Matthew and Eric – you’ve known since childhood. You even went to muggle elementary school together, before your adventure at Hogwarts began – your parents, even though pure-blood and rather wealthy, were progressive. Eric was a year above you, but Matt was your age, so you’d partner up in herbology. This year it would be slightly different, as over the summer things between the two of you changed a bit.

In the first weeks of the term, things had slowly but surely settled down. You had a new, as usual, questionable DADA teacher. Hermione decided to found S.P.E.W., trying to fight for house-elves’ rights. Although slightly unsure of her methods, you couldn’t help but agree with her message. In your world, it seemed normal, in the mansion owned by your dad’s ancestors it was normal, you never questioned it. But in your parents’ household there never was one, and you were just fine.

 The day was nice, mid-September air still quite warm as you were making your way through the open corridors near Transfiguration. Your thoughts were shifting between schoolwork and leisure. As you were approaching an intersection, you heard quick, heavy steps. Most people were already in the great hall, as lunchtime started not long before.

Fred and George ran out of one of the corridors, ran past you sparing a glance in your direction as you watched with interest, and then they hopped a half wall to hide behind it. What was it this time? After them, emerged Filch, panting heavily.

For half a second you panicked. Would he blame you for whatever they did? Take you for an accomplice?

It wasn’t logical, you were just casually strolling, but you wouldn’t put anything past the old maniac. You tried to keep yourself together when he looked at you expectantly. Quickly, you pointed into one of the corridors. Your chances were 50/50, he could believe you and let himself be fooled, or see right through you, finding it suspicious, that you tried to help him and try to convince the Headmaster to allow him to tie you in his beloved shackles that were always ready in his office.

He ran. You slowly pretended to continue your way, until he was gone, when you approached the wall the twins were hiding behind. -Bli-meey, he definitely added something special to his oatmeal this morning, he never lasts this long -said George to his brother -I expected him to snuff out halfway through! -added Fred -You lads owe me one. – you said smugly, crossing your arms over your chest -That we do, flower. – George said, smiling at you, showing off his dimples -Just say a word when you wanna break some rules – Fred winked at you, then grinned at his twin and the two walked away, as you forgot where you were going before that encounter.

 October, 1994

October was passing quickly in huge amounts of work, as if all the teachers made some kind of pact to rob you of free time. George and Fred seemed more confident in their bantering with you, though.

Before you knew it, there was just a week left until Halloween. You were now in the entrance hall, in front of a sign Ron was reading out loud:

TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT

The delegations from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang will be arriving at 6 o’clock on Friday the 30th of October. Lessons will end half an hour early —

-Brilliant! - said Harry. -It’s Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won’t have time to poison us all!

Students will return their bags and books to their dormitories and assemble in front of the castle to greet our guests before the Welcoming Feast.

The following week, the faculty was getting more and more nervous. The castle was being thoroughly cleaned and everything was supposed to be perfect for the visit. When the time for the feast came, you and your friends arrived in the great hall, which was decorated beautifully overnight. Enormous silk banners hung from the walls, each of them representing a Hogwarts House: red with a gold lion for Gryffindor, blue with a bronze eagle for Ravenclaw, yellow with a black badger for Hufflepuff, and green with a silver serpent for Slytherin. Behind the teachers’ table, the largest banner of all bore the Hogwarts coat of arms: lion, eagle, badger, and snake united around a large letter H.

Before dinner, everyone headed to the Entrance Courtyard to greet the guests. Examining all the young witches and wizards from both schools you couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated. But nonetheless, you were looking forward to the following months, when the events of the tournament were explained to you scrupulously.

The next day was Saturday, which would usually mean late breakfast for most, but not today. Students were huddled around the Goblet of Fire, placed in the centre of the entrance hall. You watched curiously to see who could become the Hogwarts champion.

George, Fred and Lee decided to try their luck with aging potion, all three taking a drop of it and clearly confident in their ability to survive win the tournament and split the prize.

When you saw George follow Fred and step over the age line to place his name in the goblet, your eyes narrowed down a bit. You were just about to contemplate, what if, when- Loud sizzling noise and the twins were thrown back, rocking long, white beards. You laughed at the sight, just as everyone else. But you also felt something else deep down, which you didn’t give a thought – relief.

 November, 1994

November was weird for you. Harry was chosen to be Hogwarts’ champion along with Cedric Diggory, but Ron wouldn’t believe he hadn’t thrown his name in, so now your group of friends was split. You thought the whole conflict to be a tad ridiculous, but you found yourself alone with Harry more, who most of the school seemed to hate now.

You and Hermione helped him prepare for the first task of the tournament, once you learned what it would be. Thanks to Moody’s tip, you spent hours practicing the summoning charm. You grasped it faster than Harry, and you tried not to show that it worried you a bit.

The 24th finally arrived. You found a place for yourself in the wooden stands, fellow Gryffindors around you. George and Fred were doing rounds, taking bets. After it seemed they were finished, as the first contestant was about to walk out, they took an empty spot next to you. -Care to make a bet, young lady? – said Fred, leaning down a bit and wiggling his eyebrows at you. -Gambling, huh? – you said, smirking and looking between the boys -Sign me up. -Atta girl. -George said and opened their suitcase once again. You were thankful your cheeks had already been a bit pink from the November chill as you were taking out the money. -3 galleons for Ced, 2 for Harry. – you handed them the coins -just don’t tell him -You pretended to whisper but just loud enough that they could still hear you over the crowd.

At some point after the task had started you got a bit cold and decided to put on the warm scarf you packed in your bag just in case. In the tight crowd, you clumsily fumbled with the bag and the jacket, trying to wrap yourself up. You were about to attempt to hold the bag between your knees to avoid placing it on the floor, when a big hand reached out to you from your right. You looked up to see George silently offering his help. You smiled and said ‘thanks’ just above a whisper. Handing him the bag, his warm hand brushed your cold one for just a moment. You put the scarf on, took your bag back and resumed your spectating position, this time, just a bit more to the right.

December, 1994

At the beginning of the month, the Yule Ball was announced. For you, it meant hordes of boys asking you to be their date. Even ones you haven’t exchanged a word with before. Some of them you politely declined, some of them just got a short ‘no.’

Professor McGonagall took it upon herself to make sure students from the house of Godric Gryffindor knew what they were doing on the dance floor, and not behave like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

And so, you were all gathered in her classroom, cleared of all desks, boys on one side of the room and girls on the other. When she called Ron over to demonstrate, you couldn’t help but stifle your laughter at your friends awkwardness, when he was asked to grab her waist. Soon, she directed everyone to pair up and practice.

Just like always in these situations, you kind of stepped forward, trying not to be awkward and hide, but at the same time looked around the room a bit nervously – wondering who’d ask you, if you could afford to pick and choose or if anyone would come up to you at all.

Your eyes involuntarily found George Weasley across the room. But you didn’t expect him to also look in your direction. Neither did he, but he tried not to let it show. You weren’t able to predict, what he’d do next. You didn’t know what you wanted in that moment, either, as your thoughts seemed clouded. Whether it was for him to run over to you and sweep you off your feet or just leave you, in your nervous state, so he didn’t have to witness you like that. After all, it was unlike you. Y/N Y/L/N, the talk of the school.

You’d rather not think about what your facial expression looked like, when you saw his eyes on you, his lips slowly curling into a small, shy smile.

You were brought to the world of living by Dean Thomas who walked up with a kind smile, holding out his hand for you and asked you to dance. You liked Dean. He was nice, smart, tall and cute. You said yes and smiled charmingly. When you glanced at the spot where George stood previously, for just half a second, he wasn’t there anymore. You weren’t sure what you expected. Why would he? Besides, it was just George after all, right?

Dancing with Dean, there was some small talk about classes, a few jokes about poor dance skills, and before you knew it, Professor McGonagall thanked you all for your time and you were dismissed.

The group headed to the wide, wooden doors at the back. Dean still beside you, the two of you also making your way out. -You know who you’re going with, then? – he asked you. -To the ball, I mean. -  You didn’t, to be fair. You assumed you’d be going with Matt. -No, not really – you replied, skipping the details. -So.. any chance you’d like to go with me?.. – asked Dean, smiling shyly and looking down at your face, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. You felt someone’s eyes on your back, or maybe you just imagined it. Shit. You didn’t expect that. You looked at the tall boy beside you, trying to hide your shock. In the corner of your eye, you see two tall gingers pass you by in the corridor. You liked Dean, you thought again. He was cute. -No.. sorry, mate… - you muttered, truly apologetic -Hope you find somebody nice, though – you offered him a wide, hopeful smile. -That’s alright. Had to try my luck, though – he said, nodding and grinning to you. He truly seemed to take it well. –See you around – he gave you a little wave, which you returned, and picked up his pace, losing you in the crowd. So you walked the rest of the way to your common room, in the black-and-red sea, making a little mental plan of the homework you were to do for the rest of the day.

A week later, you made your way to the library in the afternoon. You seized the moment when you were in a relatively good mood and decided it’s a good opportunity to work on some assignments, to maybe wrap them up before the Christmas break.

Walking through the library you were trying to find an optimal spot for your little session. When you picked one, you walked into the aisle and were about to sit down when you spotted George sitting in the opposite row, facing the bookcase, away from you.

He didn’t see you, as he was bent over a book, his hand supporting his head and holding hair out of his face, elbow propped on the desk. He held a quill in his other hand and seemed – focused? Maybe just a little distressed. You caught yourself staring but you couldn’t blame yourself – you don’t see a Weasley twin working in the library often. In fact, you rarely see them separately.

You looked around, stepped back and forth awkwardly for a bit, unsure what to do. You heard him mutter a few curse words to himself and have to hold back a chuckle. You debated just sitting down and just getting to your work, but you take a few careful steps to try and look through his shoulder aand-

Defence Against the Dark Arts. What sometimes seemed to be the only thing you were good at – Merlin had your back. You decided to take your chance, your own schoolwork be damned. You walk up, lean on the desk next to him- -You come here often? – was not what was supposed to come out of your mouth, but it did, before you could think it through. Merlin would surely be proud of the bunch of curses you directed at yourself in your thoughts. What was wrong with you?!

George was looking up at you with wide eyes but amused smile.

-Eh, erm.. you need any help with that? – you tried to save yourself, gesturing at his parchment -I’m pretty good at DADA, ahead of my year, actually… - you continued, looking down, because if you kept looking into those warm, brown eyes, you’d surely be finished. -Uh, yeah, sure – he answered, chuckling slightly -I mean, I could use the help -He straightened up and shifted slightly as you grabbed the back of the chair next to him. -I don’t come here often… -he said under his breath with a cheeky smile.

After you settled into the seat next to him, surprisingly, the both of you relaxed pretty quickly. Even if you suspected it had been the first time the two of you properly talked alone. It was nice, your banter was natural and you actually managed to help him with the assignment, your own ones long forgotten.

-Thanks, Y/N, I really appreciate it. I’d probably rot in here, trying to do it myself, or just give up – he said and rolled his eyes, packing up his things and you were getting up. -No problem, really. I know how often you just need someone to put it in different words and everything starts to click. – you paused for a moment -I’ll see you around, George. – you started to slowly to walk away -Yeah, see you.. -he had packed his things already, and was looking at your back, retreating- -Hey, Y/N? – you stopped and turned back, looking at him curiously, your eyes telling him you were listening. -D’you have a date to the ball? – he asked, not believing his own words. Matt still hasn’t asked you. You suspected why, after you and Eric went a little far with your teasing when you hung out the other day, he got a little salty. But you knew he’d get over it, it wasn’t really serious, and there was still almost two weeks to the ball. -Noo.. -your tone almost saying ‘go on’. -Fancy going with me? – he asked looking into your eyes expectantly, but his voice was soft, and if we weren’t talking about George Weasley here, you’d say shy. You really had set your mind on going with Matt, Georges question was really surprising. You were not aware that was the case for the both of you. You’d never expect that. Yet the idea was interesting. You knew you’d have fun with him. -Yes – you smiled sweetly and bit your lower lip a bit, standing small in front of him He let out a breath, grinned at you and nodded too, looking away -Yeah, cool.. wicked.. – the last part almost inaudible.

Part 3

[iwanttobeyourwonderwoman]

I can barely breathe when you are near.

I’m just gonna say I totally loved the show. Mad love. 

And in case you haven’t figure it out yet, or watched the show to get it, I’m talking about Ginny and Georgia. 

So many important topics touched on so many feelings and oh so many love triangles.

So join me as i dissect the whole show hehe .

Alright basic plot-

Young single mom Georgia and her teenage daughter Ginny, and younger son Austin, are always on the road and have now moved across the country to the small town of Wellsbury, Massachusetts from Texas, where they encounter a whole load of quirky characters. Ginny, who never had friends, slowly starts fitting in with the popular sophomores, mainly her neighbour Maxine, who also has a twin brother Marcus while Georgia befriends their mother Ellen. The series follows their attempts and struggles of fitting in with the town, all while developing their own love triangles (square in Georgia’s case). And the best part is, the unfolding of Georgia’s dark past filled with teen mom struggles and a little bit of murder mystery as to how she has gotten to where she is now. 

Teen mom and daughter combo again? Been there done that!

Well yes, as everyone compares it to Gilmore Girls (my personal favourite show ever) here are some similarities and differences as well as other show references.

*SPOILERS!!

It does explore that close relationship that Ginny and Georgia have, but obviously the kind of bond that Rory and Lorelai had were a lot stronger and had their own personal quirks and wit. There were often rifts in G&G’s relationship caused by the secrets of Georgia’s past as well as Ginny feeling inferior to her own mother in terms of looks and her ability to be a chameleon to fit in anywhere. Rory was more focused on her grades and was comfortable just having her few friends. Ginny on the other hand wanted to be liked and wanted to fit in with her school friends and eventually becomes part of MANG and the boys. And in the case of the mothers, Lorelai focused on raising Rory and worked her way up to eventually owning her own Inn while Georgia snuck and tiptoed her way around swindling money wherever she could but all in the best intentions of her kids more than herself, desperate to give her kids the life she never had. 

Also in a way I feel like this is also similar to Jane the Virgin except of course Jane’s character is older, but if you take the standpoint of the mother-daughter relationship and love triangle(Jane/Rafael/Michael) as well as a little psychotic Murder mystery Petra vibes.

, I feel like G&G is a good mix of Gilmore and JTV.

When it comes to love interests, Ginny was stuck between boyfriend Hunter and neighbour Marcus. Sweet, innocent Hunter (my favourite character in the whole series because if you know me you’d know I’m a hopeless romantic) was pretty much Dean to Rory, while cool skater and stoner guy Marcus was Jess. And honestly I see a similar trend here where most people are Team Jess/Marcus whereas I’m team Dean/Hunter for the main fact that Dean and Hunter both treated the girls really good and I like that. 

Georgia, as I mentioned was more of in a love square than a triangle, because why the hell not right? There’s Joe, the owner of the cafe where everyone spends most of their time, then there’s Mayor Paul, who Georgia pushes her way to work for to get on his good side. And then of course, Zion, Ginny’s father. Sounds a lot like Luke, Jason and Christopher doesn’t it. I love that Joe had a more interesting and different story, where it was depicted in the flashback scene where homeless young Georgia, just found out she was pregnant at a gas station and comes out to a crowd of high schoolers, which is when she meets Joe. She says to him  “I’ll look you up if I’m ever in Wellsbury” Joe was already attracted to her as a teenager and doesn’t realise it’s the same Georgia he met years ago till the last episode whereas Georgia has known all this while. I don’t know about you but I feel like now Georgia has the funds to move to somewhere she aspired to be, where she knows her kids will get the best and where she received “a sandwich and a pair of raybans that changed my life” Also let me just add that Raymond Ablack (Joe) is INCREDIBLY HOT.

Moving on to Paul, Georgia is attracted to him but there is that underlying greed because Paul can provide her stability and security and power. And that is when she will finally feel like she has achieved wheat she needs to. Towards the end, she almost chooses Zion because of her deep affection for him as ‘her penguin’ as she refers to him as. Being with Zion also means she can let her guard down and relax a little, and obviously is a great father to Ginny and even Austin who isn’t even his biologically. Which also makes both guys equally good contenders for Georgia. 

Another thing I love about the show is MANG. Their friendship is real, it’s not just Abby and Norah accepting Ginny because of Max. Yes Abby did throw her under the bus in the beginning but they soon became really close and never singled her out after the shoplifting incident. It wasn’t a whole case of Regina George and the plastics all over again. They didn’t care that she was different. 

So I feel like Abby is a very interesting character also. I read that her character was created based on a friend of the writer. So abby puts up a very strong front when actually she is feeling quite distraught from her parents ongoing divorce as well as her own issues with body image. Abby is very petite but still is not satisfied with her body so she tapes her thighs to make them look smaller and wear tight jeans so that she can look slimmer. I the Halloween episode, Press even calls her “whale legs” and she obviously gets upset and you can see it affects her because she’s striving for such a perfect image all the time but also I feel like she has a thing for Press so that really messes her up. You can also see she does get a little jealous of Ginny and Max’s friendship but that’s mainly because she feels lonely and unheard and she ends off being estranged from Norah and Max feeling like her whole world crumbled. I really hope MANG gets to patch up. They were the ideal friend group along with the guys.

“Oppression Olympics, let’s go.”

I don’t know guys, this line really stood out to me.

Basically this is the scene in episode 8 where Ginny and Hunter argue about racism and why Ginny deserved to win that writing contest with her unique style (girl used slam poetry for goodness sake that essay was amazing!!??) But Hunter won and he is clearly the favourite of their teacher. He talks about how he is half Taiwanese and the Asian stereotypes he faces here as well as the White remarks he gets from the Asian side of his family. Ginny too says she can’t fit in because she is half Black and how this town had a very small black population and people are not sure how to look at her. I feel like touching on these topics of race was really vital to not only the show but to the actors as well. From the bts, I read that Antonia (Ginny) and Mason (Hunter) were in a room with the writer and jus spoke about the kind of remarks they have personally faced which helped develop the argument scene because it was so real and raw and quite upsetting to watch. It’s something very relatable to the audience which also just amplified that whole episode overall. 

I mentioned earlier my favourite character is Hunter. I admit I have a major crush on both the actor and the fictional character. Ok so I think Hunter was a great character, a very good boyfriend too, I mean look at the way he cared for Ginny, supported her, just that unfortunately she was more attracted to Marcus in the end but also that ugly oppression olympics fight just gave his character more depth to show that Hunter wasn’t as perfect as he seemed. I think girls watching the show deserved to see what a good guy looked like. He was smart, in a band, a very caring boyfriend, popular but not cocky. If you compare to let’s say the character if Peter Kavinsky, I think Hunter made a better boyfriend. DO i also think Kavinsky is a damn dream boat? Of course I do. but then again, I thought John Ambrose was a much better guy in the TATB series. Kavinsky was originally dating another girl before the whole fake couple thing started. Whereas going back to Hunter, he already admired Ginny from the first episode and stayed truly respectful until the end of the show. And that’s something girls should see and aspire to have.

Yes I loved the song I loved the fact that he sang it for her, I am such a hopeless romantic and I absolutely hate that poor Hunter/Mason has been getting a lot of backlash for the song/character. I’ve rewatched a lot of the Hunter/Ginny scenes multiple times just because. Hunter was a good guy. Period. 

So looking forward, I think a lot of important topics were touched in this show, slightly different from let’s say 13 Reasons Why, and I hope that they can continue to delve into those stories such as racism,self harm, body image and so on which really hit home for me. Important discussion topics, important for kids to see like oh hey this character is kinda like me, and if they are facing these issues, how can they get through it?

Also I need answers to all my questions - Where did Ginny go? How does Georgia get away with everything? Will MANG get back together? Does Abby have a deeper story to tell? Do Marcus and Ginny end up together? AND WHAT ABOUT MY POOR BBY HUNTER??? Lots of unanswered questions, lots of stories to dig deeper into, and so many secrets. I loved the mother l-daughter relationship, the same way I loved Lorelai and Rory’s relationship too.

I obviously totally enjoyed the show, I’ve recommended it to many friends and I hope they enjoy it as much as I do, and get more people on my Hunter Chen bandwagon hahahaha! Let’s hope for a season 2!!

Another super long post, finally done. I can move on to watching other shows now (and still constantly wish I too had cool stuff like Sophomore sleepover)

Hate you, kidding! Love you, mean it!

(just gonna leave these here because why not????)

[clairrely]

Personal essay thingy! It's about the team of Matenrou from Hypnosis Mic, and how they helped me through a tough spot. Warnings for mentions of mental health issues.

At the time, I was, and (to an extent) am, struggling with pretty severe social anxiety. I second-guess many of the things I say and do, and even the smallest things like someone leaving me on read make me irrationally fearful that I did something wrong, even if I know that logically nothing was. Social media like Twitter and Discord was also terrifying, since I felt nervous about interacting with large groups of people, and the general chaotic, almost overwhelming experience that I had with Twitter left me just feeling like I was scared of people. I withdrew from many close friends, and while I felt lonely, the fear of people- what they could do to me, what I could do to mess up and drive them away- kept me from reaching out.

Then, as I was scrolling through TvTropes, I came upon the Hypnosis Mic project. It was a multimedia project about anime boys rapping, and as I thought it looked fun, I checked it out. At the time, I didn't think it would mean that much to me. Then, I came across the character pages of Matenrou.

I don't think I can properly express just how much of an effect they had on me, but I'll try to. At first, I simply thought that the character concepts were interesting. A humane doctor, a host club worker who was scared of the very people he was hosting, and a businessman who had a dim outlook on life. I began to do more research on the characters, and I saw myself in them, primarily the characters of Izanami Hifumi and Kannonzaka Doppo.

Both Hifumi and I were scared of people (or women, in his case), and we both put on a confident, well-spoken facade to mask it and to get through situations that terrified us. We both had issues with a school-related trauma that seemingly impacted our ability to function normally. I saw my own insecurities reflected in Doppo, too- will I ever accomplish something that I'll be proud of? With all my failures and flaws, will I ever become someone better? The crushing feeling of being powerless to do anything to improve yourself, simply because you don't believe that someone like you could ever become better- I felt that deeply. But I also found a sense of hope by reading through their stories, because flawed as they were, they also had their undeniable strengths, and they were working to grow beyond their flaws.

Hifumi had worked incredibly hard to overcome his fear of women, with his alternate 'host mode' personality a culmination of those efforts. He had so much energy while dealing with people- unlike me.

Doppo, for all his troubles and worries, never gave up and kept on working, despite the incredibly stressful (and real-life) experiences of corporate Japan. To me, his character growth was subtle but undeniable, going from being crushed under his issues to confronting them and questioning whether his 'corporate hell' existence is right.

Jinguji Jakurai, the doctor, had a sort of kindness and altruism that I found inspiring- it seemed that he held a genuine love for people, even strangers, treating them all without bias or reservation. He healed people- mentally, spiritually, and physically, helping them to overcome their fears, their insecurities, any of the issues that were holding them back from being a better person- and I remember myself tearing up.

It was as though these three characters were a direct representation of how I could move past my own terror, my own insecurity, my loneliness and despair. The line in a song they sang, 'sacrifice everything for the impending future', helped me to start trying harder, even though it seemed pointless sometimes. The close bond between them made me realize that while I was hiding from my friends out of fear, I had forgotten the good times that we shared. Even their religious motifs comforted me- I had grown up Buddhist, and to see elements of that referenced in their songs reminded me of the principles I had grown up with.

The message that I came away with was simple, but helped me a great deal. 'Live for another day, and the next, no matter what happens, because someday things will get better.' When I was depressed and facing national exams, or when I had family troubles, it helped me to hang on. It was like they were setting examples for me to follow, and over a few months, I found new strength. I finally mustered the courage to reach out to friends I hadn't talked to in a while, and to throw myself into social situations so that I could get past the anxiety. I found the resolve to keep moving forwards, regardless of everything that had happened in the past, like Hifumi and Doppo, and I made up my mind to try to treat others with the same tolerance, kindness and respect that Jakurai did.

Maybe my interpretation of these characters is different from everyone else's. I can't deny that they're weird, and kind of petty sometimes, and the setting itself is kind of silly, but to me, they were- and still are a source of inspiration and strength. I didn't expect that learning about them would have such an impact on my life- but I'm thankful that I did. We're in the 2nd Division Rap Battle now, and while the idea of conflicts and arguments online (this is still very much a popularity contest) still makes me nauseous, I think the beauty of this team is that I'm likely not the only one whose life they've changed for the better. They tackle very common modern problems, and show people that there's always a way to be better. And that's why Matenrou is so close to my heart.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Becoming

Halloween is Bee’s favorite holiday and while for most people it’s focused on becoming something new, transforming into fantasies, it is for others about becoming who they really are. 

Related to Silver Fox. Can be read alone. SingleDad!Cal+ Halloween + Cuteness.

Read Silver Fox Here. 

Enjoy my masterlist. 

Support me on Ko-Fi. 

********************

Anahera reads over the text several times, exits the text messaging app, reopens it and still shocks finds her when the text does not disappear. Halloween party on Saturday, 8pm You’re invited. Costume contest too! This isn’t a text message that she should’ve gotten--Anahera played on the school’s field hockey team but she wasn’t that popular to get a text message from Chelsea. Chelsea was on the school’s cheerleading team, up next for captain once the current senior graduated. They worked together once on a physics project and exchanged numbers only to talk about who would do what and to meet after school to run the lab. But that was pretty much the existent of their interactions, besides saying hi in passing in the hallways. 

But here Chelsea was texting Anahera about a Halloween party. Looking up from her phone, Anahera risks a quick glance to her father. He stands outside the car, phone pressed to his ear. A call came in right as Anahera walked up to the car. He paused long enough to greet her and ask how she was doing but he had to return to the call pretty quickly after that. Her practice ran long--mostly because their coach was getting on their case about two girls that got into a physical fight in school and thus were benched for two games. Her dad’s not the type to be overly strict about her going out. But he was a small bit of a worrier and liked to know the parents or at least have their numbers. 

Anahera turns back to her phone and pulled up Levi’s thread. Did you get an invite to a Halloween party on Saturday?

It’s only a couple of moments before Levi replies. Yeah. ‘rents already said yes. What about you?

Levi was the last child in a line of four, so it was never really a shock that their parents let them do pretty much anything as long as they could say who they were going with and what time they were going to be back home by. Anahera glances back out to the window and notices Calum nodding along to whatever is being said. When they catch eyes, Calum puffs up his cheeks and crosses his eyes just to get a laugh out of her. Anahera shakes her head with a small chuckle and sticks her tongue out in return before returning to her phone. 

Haven’t asked yet. Afraid he’s going to say no. 

Your dad’s not like that. Let him know you’re going with me. My curfew is midnight. Dan’s on dial too--just in case. 

Dan was nice, and even though he was the oldest of their siblings, he wasn’t big on partying. He was quiet, played video games mostly and occasionally went out. But as the only one with a car, he became the go to one for rides to and from places or as a quick line of defense. Anahera normally had a curfew around eleven. However, if she led the question with Levi’s plans and Dan being their ride, then her dad might be more flexible about extending the curfew. Anahera would also have to promise that her homework would be done Friday night because if she didn’t, Calum would certainly use that as a way to be hesitant. 

The only way to find out her answer is going to be just asking flat out. Leaning across the console, Anahera rolls down the window. The buzzing and whir catches Calum’s attention and he takes the phone from his ear. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll be off in five and get you some dinner. I know you’re probably starving after practice.”

“Thanks. Um, actually I wanted to ask you if I could go to this party on Saturday. It’s at Chelsea’s. Levi’s going and they have to be back home by 12.”

“Halloween party?” Calum asks. 

Anahear nods. “I’ll have all my homework done on Friday. I’m already done with one essay and I think there’s a math set packet Mr. M is handing out on Thursday to help as extra study material for the test on Monday. And Bee’s already reading over my college essay so when I get the edits it’ll be like super quick.”

Calum sighs, hearing the voice on the line droning on. “Levi’s going? And their parents know Chelsea’s parents or have their number?”

“I-I don’t know. I just know Levi got the approval to go. Please, Dad. I can ask Chelsea tomorrow about the number thing. But please can I go? Dan’s on speed dial in case we need a ride.”

Calum holds her gaze, mouth twisting up. Bee had asked what Calum and Anahera had planned to do for Halloween. Normally, the two of them dressed up and handed out candy to the kids in the neighborhood that came by trick or treating on the day of Halloween and during the weekends, sometimes they went to haunted houses or Anahera hung out with Levi in her room, watching scary movies until ungodly hours in the morning. Anahera’s eagerness to go the party didn’t strick Calum was strange. She’s settled into her junior year, her birthday passing in September. However, Calum did start to miss things from before. Like the way Anahera always wanted to hang out with him and how they always had plans for Halloween. But things were changing. She was growing up and Calum was going to have to grow with that too. 

He nods. “Yeah, you can go. But,” he starts interrupting the squeal from Anahera, “the edits your college admission essay need to be done before you leave on Saturday. You’re not struggling in math too much, and I trust you with whatever you need to make sure you get a good grade on that test on Monday.” Anahera wants to apply early decision to a couple schools and the rest are regular decisions. Bee advised that it would be easier for her to finish the essays early and that way the only thing to stress about come the summer and start of senior year were getting the letters of recommendations. Though the essays that Anahera were drafting for college apps right now were samples/examples. Anahera wanted to have a bank of a couple different kinds that wouldn’t need too much extra work to fit to the questions before being submitted. 

Though Calum suggested that she not worry that not much closer until time, Anahera insisted that she wanted some practice and considering that the beginning of the semester wasn’t that congested with work, it worked out well. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Anahera exclaims crawling over the console and hugging Calum through the open window of the car. 

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Love you.” He knows he’s clinging a little too long but he doesn’t want to forget the way Anahera squeezed in her hugs. It was a trait she had since she was little and Calum’s not sure where she got it from. However, there was nothing like a hug from her--even when she was small and she sensed something was wrong, she would run up to him with her favorite toy at the time in her hand and squeeze him tight in a hug. She would always tell him not to be sad because she would always have hugs for him. 

“Love you too!” Anahera replies easily. 

Calum gets off the work call soon after that and climbs into the driver seat, or at least he attempts to. Anahera hasn’t left the driver side seat since getting the okay for her venture to the party. “Ma’am. I know you’re getting closer to that license but I think I’m still in charge of driving for just a little bit longer.”

Anahera laughs. “Oh c’mon, Pops. You know I can handle this no problem.” She over dramatizes taking a sharp turn, hands passing over each other and lightly brushing the cover of the steering wheel. She hasn’t tested yet but they get out early on the weekends for practice and Calum keeps encouraging her to test. It’s yet to happen, but he’s hopeful. 

“Maybe on Sunday you go for a spin. But it ain’t Sunday yet.”

Anahera looks to Calum with her brows raised. “Promise?”

“Promise.” They hook pinkies and she climbs back into the passenger seat. “Subs?”

“Oh, you know exactly what I was thinking. But that might just be that you’re my dad.”

“Maybe,” Calum laughs, “maybe.” 

Anahera relays the news to Levi about her approval to go to the party. Any costume ideas? I’m a giant nothing. Levi asks. Anahera thinks about usual superheroes, the sexy costumes. But those wouldn’t work out too well. 

Couples costumes? Or too lame? 

I love you, Ana. But I am not going in some dumb het. normative costume. 

Anahera snickers at the text. I didn’t mean like couple couple costume. But like matching/same universe or something. 

Oh, oh, hmm, that could work.

Stranger Things--Scoops Ahoy Steve and Robin? That message comes through at the same time that Levi suggest pirates. Oh, pirates could be cool? We’d have to get to the mall to shop possibly. but I promised to have homework done before Friday. 

“Wanna eat inside or get it to go?” 

Ana looks up and sees that the car is parked outside their favorite Italian place. Anahera shrugs and unbuckles. “It’s everyone else’s problem if I stink, not mine.”

Calum laughs. “That’s why there was the option to not kill everyone with your funk.” He locks the doors, taking a quick glance at the parking lot. He doesn’t spot Bee’s car. He know she doesn’t take too many hours at the restaurant during the week, but occasionally she takes a few or she comes in when they need more help. He wasn’t sure if she was working both jobs or not. But given the number of cars in the parking lot, he can’t really get a good look around. 

Inside is crowded. Though most people seem to be getting orders to go, lined up at the counter as compared to the pretty empty dining area. Calum and Anahera stand the podium to be seated for a couple moments. Anahera is buried in her phone while Calum glances around. He spies Bee at the counter, handing over a stack of three pizza boxes to a man. The woman he’s with comes up and takes the bag Bee hands over. “Just two?” a voice close by cuts in. A younger guy who Calum hasn’t seen before stands in front of them. 

Calum turns with a nod. “Yes, just two.”

“Booth or table?” the young man asks. 

“Booth,” Anahera returns with a smile and follows behind as they’re escorted to the booth. Calum throws one last glance back to the counter. Bee happens to glance up and throws a small wave which Calum returns. 

“Can I start you all out with something to drink?” the young man asks, pen in hand. 

“Water,” Calum answers, slipping the sunglasses up into his hair and Anahera replies with the same. 

The young man nods. “Lemon on the side okay?” With nods all the way around, he starts over to the drink mission. 

Anahera turns directly to the sub and sandwiches section of the menu. “See your boo,” Ana teases glancing up for a moment. 

Calum shakes his head, cheeks heating for a split second at the tease. He and Bee have been dating for a little seven months. Anahera wasn’t shocked after discovering the hickies that fated day but she never fails to say that she’s the thing that brought them together.  “Yeah, I saw her,” Calum returns. “So about this party? You and Levi know what your costumes are going to be? Like going in something matching or separate?”

“We’re thinking about something matching. They suggested pirates or something but I don’t think I have anything in my closet that could work and I would ask to go shopping on Saturday before the party but I wasn’t sure how that was going to go over.”

“Hmm, if you needed to borrow anything from me, you could. Or if Levi wanted too, they could as well. And it comes down too, I could take y’all Friday after school.That would give you Saturday morning to work too and then get ready. Or whatever works better.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll let them know.” Anahera works her fingers over the screen, the keys highlighting for a second before dropping back down to their normal size. “And thanks. For offering to take Levi and offering your closet.”

Calum knows Levi’s parents haven’t super well to their coming out and using they/them pronouns. However, Levi’s siblings have defended them and Anahera too. He wishes he could do a lot more. He’s tried to help as much as he can, being there for Levi when they need someone but he knows it’s not always the same--it’s not like having their actual parents being supportive. “Of course. You two have been friends since elementary school. Almost feels like a second child at this point--Levi’s family at this point.”

“You’re pretty awesome, Dad.”

“I can only ever do my best, sweetheart. That’s it.”

“Yeah, but your best is still pretty great.” She’s quick to return to her phone no doubt relaying everything to Levi. The waiter returns with their waters and runs down the specials for the day. Anahera orders her turkey panini with salad and fries. Calum overs the Philly cheese steak with just fries. 

“Hey guys,” Bee says as she stops by their table. The dinner rush has slowed for the time being. 

Calum tugs on her wrist and she falls into the side of the booth, his bumping against his side. His arm slides around her waist in a quick hug. “Shocked to see you here. Not even a Thursday, so you can’t tell me close to the weekend.”

“Terence’s books were more expensive this semester--so I’m trying to play catch up right now.”

“More expensive?” Calum questions, twisting in the booth to look up at her. Bee gives Anahera a quick hug before turning to stand at the edge of the table. “Why don’t you sit?”

“Boss is here today. Don’t want him complaining. And Terence signed up for an extra class, said he was going to be a class short if he didn’t fully load up his schedule. And it’s cheaper to do it now than it is to take the one class during the summer. I budgeted for right around 250 for books but the extra class was in English and it ran just under an additional 200 dollars just for that class.”

“Another 200 hundred?” Calum gaps. “You’re telling me you spent over 400 dollars in textbooks?”

“Just about 400 dollars. He’s looking for scholarships to help with textbooks. But with basketball it’s not like he can pick up a job. I need him focusing on his grade to keep the scholarship that he does have. The refund should help recover costs some but most of that I’m giving right back to Terence in installments.” 

Calum nods, knowing about how Bee likes to put money into Terrence’s account. She does it so that Terrence can take care of anything that comes up in case of emergency, but she know sometimes the team goes out for dinners and other things. He’s got to be a kid in college while still in college. What Calum didn’t realize is just how much Terrence didn’t know about what Bee did behind the scenes for him. Terrence came home for the summer, well before summer conditioning and they hung out, and Terrence knew Bee worked her ass off to help him but she hadn’t pulled the veil back to reveal just how much she busted ass to make his games, keep him afloat and never stressing about money. 

Calum respected that and never discussed money in front of Terrence. But part of him did want Terrence to know just how much Bee was working so that textbooks were the least of his worries. “You know I’m here, for anything,” Calum offers, wrapping his fingers around hers. 

Bee nods. “Thanks. I appreciate it. But get ready, you’re next,” she teases, laughing before glancing over to Anahera. “Once I get home I can send you my suggestions. They’re on my laptop and I didn’t bring it with me to this job.”

“Don’t worry, Bee. I appreciate you just taking the time to read over it.”

“Of course.” The bell above the door chimes and Bee turns, greeting the family that just entered letting them know she’ll be right over in a moment. “Alright, duty calls. Enjoy your dinner.”

Bee squeezes Calum’s hand and then turns on her heels to go to the podium. “How are we tonight? Besides just a smidge hungry?” Bee jokes, grabbing menus. The group laughs just a little bit before following Bee to a booth about three down from Calum and Anahera. 

“You think Bee would take me and Levi shopping?”

Calum perks up at the question. Anahera and Bee get along well but Bee’s careful about suggesting that she and Anahera spend time together. As Calum knows and understands, Bee doesn’t want to come across as being pushing or trying too hard but she doesn’t want to seem like she doesn’t care. They’ve gotten manicures together or gone out just for ice cream--it’s always been small things. However, Anahera seems to enjoy that time together. 

“Ask, can’t hurt. If her schedule allows, I think she’d be happy to take you and Levi,” Calum answers. He bites down on the corner of his lip to contain a small portion of his smile. Bee’s been the one to schedule most of their activities together or at least initiate them. But seeing Anahera take the lead on this one is a good sign. 

“Oh, you’re right. She might be working. I don’t want to make her feel bad if she’s working?” Anahera enjoys the time she’s spent with Bee. When they got the gel manicures, it was fun. Bee picked out Anahera’s color and they were able to sit next to each other as they talked about watching True Crime documentaries and Ana told her all about the new music she had been listening too. Bee was cool about all the jokes Anahera made, and once their colors cured under the UV lights, Anahera spent nearly thirty minutes sitting outside the shop just showing Bee all the videos and memes that she had saved recently. 

Bee felt like her dad’s girlfriend, but she also felt like someone that cared about Anahera too. It was a nice feeling to have another girl to talk about things that just got it. And whatever Anahera didn’t want to go back to Calum, didn’t get back to him. Anahera mentioned to Bee before Calum about Levi and what was happening at home for them. Anahera begged Bee not to say anything to her dad. Not that she thought Calum wouldn’t be understanding but because Anahera just didn’t want to out her best friend to someone they weren’t ready to be out too. However,  when Anahera needed someone to talk to about Levi, Bee was gracious and patient and promised not to breathe a word to Calum. So when Levi came over for the first time to come out, while Bee and Calum were  fixing dinner, Bee’s reaction was like she had heard the news for the first time. Calum was shocked but grateful to know and the change was immediate, though a little bumpy at first. Anahera called Bee later that night to thank her for being supportive of her best friend. 

Also in terms of pirate costuming, as much as Anahera adores her dad, she knew only Bee would get her vision for her costume and be able to help her. Also Bee could also help Levi put together their costume so that the two of them matched but still kept a distinct air to the both of them.

Bee passes their table right after they get their orders with a tray full of drinks for the table that she has. However on the second pass by, Anahera manages to snag her attention. “Do you work Saturday morning?”

Bee ponders for a moment. “I work here starting at 2. What’s up?”

“I got invited to this Halloween party and Levi and I want to go as pirates. But we both need a few things to help with our outfits. Would you mind taking us and helping us out?”

The grin that breaks across Bee’s face is so big Calum’s sure her cheeks are going to split right there on the spot. “Yeah, I’d love to. Mall opens at 9. How does 10 sound? Would that time work for them as well?”

“I can ask.”

“Text me whatever works best, okay. I’ll pick you up first and then we’ll swing and get Levi.”

Anahera nods and turns back to her salad just as Bee turns back and continues down to the kitchen. “So I’m getting the boot I guess.”

“I guess you can come too. Do you and Bee have plans?”

“Bee asked if we had plans. I told her our normal plans are using dressing up and doing a little decorating to hand out candy or you watching movies with Levi but now that’s different. So I’m not even sure.”

“Just remember, I’m coming back home at midnight sharp.” Once or twice, Anahera’s caught the embarrassing glimpse of a kiss getting pretty heavy. That’s enough, she doesn’t want to see anything more than that. 

Calum gapes for a moment around the sip of his water. “Missy, who’s the parent here?” Anahera goes quiet, shoveling the last bite of her salad into her mouth. “That’s what I thought.” With their dinner finish and check paid, Calum and Anahera slip out from the booth. They both say goodbye to Bee before leaving. Anahera promises to text Bee the second she gets a time that works well before 2. 

It’s only later in the night, after Calum gets a text from Bee that she got home safely that he calls her. She doesn’t answer immediately. However about 20 minutes later, his phone rings from her. “Hey,” he says settling into the pillows. Tammy’s curled up on his lap. The click of paws outside the door alerts Calum that Anahera’s moving around the house and Jake’s following right behind her. “How was your day?”

“Pretty good. The restaurant was crazy when I walked in but the rest of the night calmed down. How was your day?”

“Nothing too grand until I surprisingly ran into you,” he chuckles softly into the receiver. “I just want to say thank you for agreeing to take Anahera and Levi shopping. That-that means a lot to me.”

“No need to thank you, Cal baby. But you’re so welcome. I love Ana and Levi. I’d do whatever I could for them.”

“No, I do need to thank you. I know you’re working hard to cover what you had to spend on Terrence’s books but you taking the time to spend with my daughter and her best friend--it says a lot more about your character than anything.”

“Thank you, Calum. That means a lot.”

“Of course.”

“With Anahera and Levi going to the party, are you just going to hang out on Halloween?”

“I guess. I don’t know. Unless of course you’d like to spend some time together after work if you’re not too tired of course.”

“I’m only working a 5 hours shift. I picked up part of someone else’s shift. So if you wanted to do something after 7, we can. Your neighborhood’s plenty active right? Like you hand out candy and what not?”

“Yeah, there’s enough kids that come out. Would you want to dress up? I totally get if you don’t want to, with work and everything.”

“I would love to dress up! Halloween’s my favorite. But once Terrence got too old to trick-or-treat, I kinda didn’t have much reason to do a lot. The apartment complex does like a small thing for the kids, but nothing like the neighborhood I was in before Terrence and I moved.”

“Might I crash the shopping party on Saturday? I know depending on how long it takes you might have to duck out before things finish but while they shop for their costumes you and I can plan something too.”

“Sure, you can crash the shopping party. Do you decorate?”

“Used to when Anahera was younger. Not a lot much inside. It’s more outside decoration for the kiddos as they come up to the door.”

“Well I look forward to a fairly spooped out house. Trick or treating starts around 6 so I’ll miss the first hour but after my shift ends, would it be okay if I just came directly to your place and changed? What time is the party for Anahera and Levi?”

“Yeah, sure you can come straight to my place. Their party starts at 8 and Levi’s brother Dan is dropping them off at the party and dropping them Ana back off afterwards. Or at least I need to make sure that’s the plan. Even if I have to drop her off, if you come to my place, trick or treaters can still get their candy fill while I drop her off.”

“Okay, cool. Thank you.” A yawn cuts off the last little bit of the sentence. “God, sorry.”

“It’s been a long day. I get it. Get some rest, babe.”

“Wait, I gotta email Anahera. Stay on the line with me until I finish that. Then I can go night-night.”

Calum chuckles at the repetitive phrase. It reminds of when Anahera was younger. He’t tuck her in at night with a kiss to her forehead and a sweet bid of “Night-night. Sweet dreams,” without fail. And it appears that even though children might grow out of the phrase, parents never do. “Okay, I’ll stay on until you do that. Do you have any costume ideas?”

“Something witchy. Or vampires. Or we can go with something with a bit more gore. I think I have some special effects makeup left in that kit.”

“I know you said Halloween is for favorite but for someone that doesn’t celebrate like before, I’m a little lost on why you have a kit.”

“Library holds some special readings every quarter. Theme was fairytales so we dressed up and used some special effects for some wrinkles for the old fairy godmother. And I just got the big kit because I figured it would last for more than reading. There’s some fake blood in it too. I like to have all my options.”

Calum hums, the pillows surrounding him starting to pull him into sleep as well. Just closing his eyes won’t hurt. It’s quiet for a moment, faintly he can hear the taps and clicks of Bee on her computer. “Oh, what about something with Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Like them dead? Because I think I could be down.” The sentence is a little slow to fall from Bee’s lips. 

“Hmm yeah maybe.”

“Thanks for staying up with me even though we both about to pass out.”

“Anything for you.”

“Goodnight, Calum.”

“Hey, that’s a good night-night and sweet dreams to you, Bee.” She laughs softly into the receiver and it’s the only sound Calum distinctly remembers hearing too. 

Friday night Anahera is sure to show Calum her changes to the essay and when he nods, kissing the top of her head, Ana tries to hold back her excitement. She and Levi have talked about their costumes. Though Levi’s unsure of if they should go with a vest or not. They don’t have one and buying one would be pointless just for the one costume. Anahera suggests if they find one cheap they could add it to the costume without fear of not necessarily wearing it out again. 

Calum agrees to drive separately from Bee, Anahera, and Levi when Saturday rolls around. The second Bee showed up Anahera dove into the vision she and Levi had for the costumes and what they both already have in their closest. Calum catches wind of a skirt and he waits for a moment unsure if that’s a smart idea. However, Bee is quick to suggest fishnets in addition to the skirt. Fishnets isn’t the answer he would’ve given, but Calum knows this is not his time into the court and let’s Bee take the lead on how to best handle wearing a skirt to a party that Calum’s almost certain alcohol may sneak its way into the mix. He knows he can’t shield Anahera forever from the world but he definitely doesn’t want her introduction to be harsh. Amongst the glimpses of conversations that he catches about the skirt, he catches onto the addition of shorts underneath too and lets out a tiny sigh of relief. 

Levi hangs back as Bee and Anahera enter the first store. Calum lingers back with them.“Skipping this one?” Calum asks. It’s an H&M and there’s no doubt in Calum’s mind that they can find something here. They mentioned wanting either a jacket or the vest and then needing a thick belt or fabric to help with their look. They already have the white button up, jeans and boots for the costume. 

“I-It’s a lot easier to like look online at clothes.” The confession leaves Levi’s lips softly. Calum nods, understanding that online no one says anything if they switch between men or women’s. However, the physical stores has to be a whole different ballgame, the anxiety about looks that people might give tot hem. 

“If you want, I’ll stick with you. Whichever section, I can be right there.”

“You-you don’t have too, Mr. Hood.”

“It’s Uncle Cal and you know that, Levi. Besides, you’re not Anahera’s best friend. You’re part of my family. So whatever you need me to do is out of love, not obligation.”

The tears collect on their lower lids. “You consider me family?”

“Always have, kid, and always will.” With an arm slung over their shoulder, Calum proposes a deal. “What if you help me with my costume and if we just happen to find something for you, then we just happen to find something for you? How does that sound?”

Levi gives Calum a quick hug before nodding. “Sounds-sounds good to me.”

“C’mon. I think I see a suit jacket that might be perfect for Clyde. But I need younger eyes because I forgot my glasses.” 

As the pair walks towards the suit jackets, Bee slides over and slips a few tissues into the palm of Calum’s hand. He hands them over to Levi and there’s a silent nod of recognition between all of them. Bee zips back over to Anahera, knowing that she had to talk the young girl out of the platform boots that Anahera doesn’t need considering the pair that she just got for her birthday. 

As Calum and Levi thumb through the blazers, Calum can see one particular red ornate blazer has caught their attention. So he plucks if off the rack, pulling the medium size one off the rack to start. He can’t quite gauge their size and he doesn’t want to ask someone to measure Levi. Holding the jacket open for Levi, Calum silently asks them to try it on. “I think it might look better on you than me. I think my days have passed. Besides the red blazer I have at home reads more captain than pirate. But it’s always a look you could go for.”

Levi slips their arms into the blazer. The sleeves swallow their arms and hits them too low on their legs. But the light is evident in their eyes as they look into the mirror on the wall. “Wow,” they breathe, turning to see what it looks like from the back. 

“I say we try the small. This is a medium.” Levi nods, slipping out of the jacket and taking the small from Calum. “This isn’t a tailored cut. Meaning it doesn’t cut in or cinch at the waist. This is a standard fit.” He straightens the collar out for them and grins at their smile. “Arms out straight in front of you,” he directs looking to see if the sleeves come up just a little or not all. They rise just a smidge. “Okay, reach up for the ceiling.” Levi does so without seeming restricted. “Is it tight anywhere?”

“No,” they return, shrugging their shoulders. “Not tight. It’s a little loose but like a good loose.”

“Fitted jackets and blazers can be harder to get in smaller sizes sometimes. If you want this, we can get it today and then after the party to get fitted a bit better, go to a tailor.”

“My parents would not be happy though,” Levi counters. 

Calum nods. “I know that’s rough. But what if for right now, we get this and if they ask, you tell your parents it’s mine and I let you borrow it for the costume. The next time you come for to visit Anahera, I can take you to get it properly fitted.”

“How would I get it back home? My parents don’t like spot check my room but they’d notice me with this kind of jacket.”

“You leave that to me. While it’s easy to say smuggle it in your backpack, they’ll wrinkle it. But trust, between Anahera and I, we’ll make sure you get it to your room undetected.”

“I don’t know Mr. Hood. Seems like a lot of trouble.”

The nerves are understandable and Calum does not want to push them to do anything they wouldn’t want to do. “Alternatively, you find a vest for the costume and Bee and I find some fabric that’s fancy and you use that to tie around your waist as as the glamour you and Ana want. The blazer’s a dream for when you feel safer.”

“Yeah, yeah I like that.” Levi slowly removes the blazer and puts it back onto the hanger. “There’s, uh, there’s this,” they state, lifting up a standard black denim like vest. 

“Okay, so something along that vibe. Gotcha.” Calum thumbs through the rack and pulls out a similar vest but this one has silver buttons and embellishments that make it feel a bit more elevated, more pirate-y. 

As Levi tries that one on, Calum texts Bee to grab the red blazer from off the end of the rack and add it to the pile that Anahera’s collecting. He promises to pay her back. Within a minute of the text sending, he watches Bee approach in the mirror and grab the blazer, quickly stashing it under the racks in her hand. There’s a yellow sweater on top and a few black items beneath it as well. 

“Lookin’ good, Levi!” Bee calls out, leaning behind the racks to make sure the blazer is concealed. 

Anahera isn’t far behind, dragging Levi over to the shoes. “You should get this vest,” she says before returning to her point about not knowing which sneakers to get. 

“They didn’t go for the blazer? It looked good,” Bee ponders quietly. 

“Worried about their parents blowing a fuse. But Christmas is coming up, so hopefully things are different then. If not, I think they’d still appreciate it. And I know if I wait, it’s going to be gone.”

“You’re right about that. Ana and I are done for Halloween. You might have to convince her she doesn’t need 80 pairs of the same shoe. But while you distract, I’ll check out.”

Calum nods, heading towards the clearance shoes where Anahera and Levi are huddled. “I’ll give you the money tonight.” 

Bee nods and makes a straight shot for the registers. After a trip to the fabric store for Levi’s belt, and a dive into Bee’s favorite hair care store to get headwraps for the both of them, Anahera and Levi are set for their costumes. Calum knows buried in his closet is a white dress shirt that he can throw on along with a black suit jacket, so he’s not too worried that he’s walking out the store empty handed. 

Bee looks down at her phone again, teeth capturing the skin of her lips--her boss at the restaurant texted if she can come in an hour earlier. She almost doesn’t take the extra hour but Calum assures that now the costumes are set, that if she needs to take the extra hour then she absolutely take it. None of them will be mad, or feeling like she’s dipping out just to get away. “You sure?” Bee asks Calum after relaying the predicament, watching as Levi and Anahera duck in line for pretzels. “Ana’s not going to feel like I’m being mean or dodgy?”

“Babe. No. I don’t think so.” He kisses her forehead. “I know things are tight after the textbook fiasco. If you need to take the extra hour, do it.”

“I’ll keep the blazer in my bag and then bring it back to your place after they leave for the party.”

“Okay.” 

She gives her quick goodbyes with hugs to Anahera and Levi, before kissing Calum softly goodbye and backtracking to the opposite end of the mall, where they parked. The shopping continues for a little bit longer, but Calum doesn’t linger too much allowing them their space. They agree to reconvene outside the sporting goods store in an about hour. 

It’s a dangerous game to duck into one of the jewelry stores. Calum’s not even looking for himself and it sounds crazy and too soon for thoughts of a ring cross his mind. But he tells himself he can just browse, just fantasy about what that might be like. 

“Who you looking for?”

He turns to the voice and see Anahera saddled up beside him. “You two have another like half an hour to be free.”

“Not much else here,” she returns. “Looking for Bee? Is her birthday soon or something?”

“Just looking,” Calum returns with a shrug, trying not to draw too much suspicion. 

“Ana, look!” Levi calls out, waving their hand to beckon her closer. “It’s an anklet like you were looking at in the other store.”

Anahera ducks over, just to look. Soon they leave the mall. Levi asks if they can just get changed at Calum’s place which is an easy yes. Calum takes Anahera and Levi for a quick lunch before Levi grabs their costume, an overnight bag and their backpack from their house. Tammy and Jake run up from the depths of the house to greet all of them. The pets and scratches are happily received.  “So scary movies to pregame for the party tonight? What’s on the agenda?” Calum asks. 

“I should do the World History homework before the party,” Levi starts, laughing a little. 

“But we probably will watch scary movies,” Anahera finishes. 

“Go figure,” Calum agrees. “So what time should I pick you both up tonight? Or is Dan still your main man?”

“Dan said he’d pick us up from the party and just drop us off here. He said he was going to be out at that time anyway,” Levi relays. 

“He won’t be drinking?”

“Nah, Dan doesn’t drink. I think some friends of his are also throwing a party and he’s used to being the DD. He said it was something about a mixer? I don’t really know. But we’ll text him when we’re ready. Is midnight still okay?”

“Mixers are just different clubs, or whatever, getting together,” Anahera cuts in. “Girls field hockey has them with the guys division and other sports after school sometimes. I assume college mixers are way different than ones in the high school gym though.”

“Yeah, midnight is still fine,” Calum answers. 

Once they return to the house, it’s fairly silent. Anahera and Levi go into her room and Calum takes the moment to decorate the outside of the house. He started yesterday, mostly with the hanging decorations and the lights. Today’s mostly putting on the certain yard decorations. There are some tombstones that he stakes into the ground and a few giant fake spiders that he sets out. The decor was more extravagant in years prior. But knowing Bee will be stopping by means that the lazy decorating won’t cut it. 

With the outside done, Calum pulls down the bags of candy from the pantry and pour them into bowls. He’s sure to separate the chocolate from the non-chocolate stuff. He even has a separate bowl for any candies that are chocolate and have peanuts or other nuts in it knowing that some kids in the neighborhood may have allergies. A few parents put out an alert on the neighborhood watch app. There was a year, now as Calum recalls it must’ve been three years ago, where the majority of the houses had only chocolate candy making it impossible for one kid to get any candy that they could enjoy. Calum took the leftover non chocolate candy to the house after reading the heartbreaking plea from the parents. 

“What’s for dinner y’all?” Calum asks after both Ana and Levi resurface in the kitchen rummaging through the snack pantry. “We got about an hour before trick-or-treaters start showing up. Pizza? There’s leftovers too, but I think I’ll be nice and order something.” 

Both of them readily agree to pizza and Calum places the order without needing much more convincing. He’ll finish off the last of the spaghetti leftovers he fixed yesterday. The pizza will not last long between the two of them--never a shock anymore to Calum anymore. He changes first into his costume knowing it won’t be fully complete until Bee shows up from work however, he would rather be one half when kids start showing up. 

Though Calum slips into an older black suit. It’s somewhat of a shock that it still fits. But it’s a testament to the personal trainer for sure. Calum does make sure to include the hat. The curls don’t cooperate off the bat, requiring a little bit of assistance from some hair gel Anahera suggested to him to help. Finally, he gets the curls tamed enough to slip the hat on. His dress shoes click over the hard floor and it is echoed by Tammy and Jake finding him and walking behind him. 

“Uncle Cal did not come to play,” Levi jokes around a bite of pizza. 

“Dad, who even are you? I don’t know this man,” Anahera laughs. Calum does a spin and laughs as the two of them whistle. Soon Thriller comes over the speakers. No doubt Anahera pairing her phone to the speakers downstairs. “Show ‘em, Dad. Show ‘em how you groove.”

“Miss Bee’s gonna faint when she sees you like this. I want a video,” Levi laughs. 

“The old man’s still got it,” Calum returns and slides his fingers over the brim of the hat. The giggles are quick to subside after the song fades out. They toss out the pizza box and wash their plates before going back to Anahera’s room. 

“I’m stealing your dad’s wardrobe,” Levi says as they pass through the living room. “Taking notes.”

“Oh, don’t make his ego even better.” The two of them laugh and the door closes before anything else can be said. 

The first half hour of trick-or-treaters is a little slow and mostly toddlers or infants being carted around by their parents. However, Calum enjoys seeing the various pumpkin costumes on the babies as they walk up the driveway and porch. They don’t seem bothered by the night which he knows the parents are grateful for. Exactly at seven, his phone chimes and interrupts the Halloween Party playlist Calum turned on, playing on the speaker he normally uses for outdoor parties. 

I’m headed out now. It’s from Bee and he replies in acknowledgement before setting the phone back down and grabbing a couple handful of candies for the group of sheet ghosts that waddle up the driveway. “Trick or treat,” they chorus.

Calum laughs. “Well, this is a predicament.” He looks over their hands. “I can hear some trick-or-treaters but I don’t see them.” He looks over his yards, hand above his brow to emphasize the point. 

“Boo!” One child giggles. 

Calum jumps, finally looking  down at them. “Oh there they are.” The candle rustles in their bags as he drops off some for them and they reply with their thanks before going back to the parents waiting at the end of the driveway. 

“I scared him, Momma!” The kid cheers and the parents laugh, with a nod. “I’m so scary!”

“Oh I know. The scariest,” the mother returns. They move down to the next house. Another fifteen minutes later, Calum notices headlights slowing down and turning into the driveway. Bee continues up and pulls right up to the garage door. 

“Oh my god,” she gapes walking up on the porch. “Look at you.” Calum greets her with a hug and a kiss to her cheek. “By God, you look sharper than Sunday morning.”

The heat in his cheeks only increases. “Thanks. But I’m missing my other half.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Bee teases, kissing him softly. 

“I think it’ll get me plenty-where.”

“Be back in two shakes and a twist.” Calum nods, watching as Bee walks into the house. More children come up to the house. He drops off candy to some Cookie Monsters, witches, Captain America’s, and Spiderman’s. Ten minutes later, the front door opens and there are only a couple clicks of the heels. When Calum looks up, he nearly loses his breath. The sweater and skirt are fitted to her figure, hinting to what he’s always known is there, has witnessed more than once, but she keeps it hidden under jeans or skirts at work. Not that he’s upset about that, it all makes sense. He just wishes she showed it off a little bit more. The little beret and scarf really complete the look. 

It’s Calum’s turn to be gobsmacked. “Holy shit, you look great.”

“Thanks. I’ve been told to remind you that the party starts in about ten minutes. And they’ll come to the front porch once they’re ready. I got stopped in the hallway,” Bee laughs, sitting in the seat next to Calum. 

“Noted.”  

Another group of children approaches, this time a group dressed in various costumes from Winnie the Pooh. One girl is Eeyore, there’s a Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet. The parents are dressed as Owl and Rabbit. “Twick oh tweet,” the one dressed as Tigger says quietly a shy smile on their face. 

Bee gasps, chest clenching at the matching costumes. Terrence and his friends would do something similar, group costumes. His group costumes weren’t as cute as Winnie the Pooh but still memories come flooding back of superhero costume debates.  God, sometimes she wishes she could make Terrence small again, cherish the moments where all he wanted to do was be up under her as she cooked or cleaned. It all just happens too fast. 

Bee drops some candy into their buckets. “It’s the whole 100 Acre Woods. I won’t tell Christopher Robin that guys you dropped by.”

The kids laugh and say their thanks. “I miss dressing babies up,” Calum confesses. “Anahera and I used to always do matching outfits and she was so happy to bounce up to houses.”

“Terrence would go as athletics or power rangers. I wish my complex did more. I miss the decorating and having to hide the candy from Terrence.”

“High up in cabinets,” Calum laugh. 

“He got too tall for that and too crafty. Hide it in my drawers. He didn’t mess too much in my room.”

Calum chuckles. “Smart. Did you hide Christmas presents in there too? Because I still struggle with that.”

Bee nods, watching more kids walk up and shouts “Trick-or-Treat!” The two of them drop off candy into their buckets and bags. “I leave it in the boxes, if I order online. With Terrence in college now, it’s easier now. Get crafty and hide it in the bathrooms.”

“Now that’s a thought.” 

A family comes up, dressed up in leather and bling. “Oh, we got some rockstars,” Bee teases, nudging Calum. 

The little girl is dressed in her leather jacket and her brother is in a jacket that matches and it melts his heart. Calum tries not to show it, tries not to gush too much at the costumes but they are adorable. He sneaks them a few extra pieces of candy. “Keep on rockin’ out,” he grins at them. 

They smile in return, “Thank you!” in their excited squeals leaving both of them. 

Calum clutches his chest as they leave and Bee laughs,  “Don’t die on me. You gotta survive.” 

“We did that one year,” he sighs, finally sitting up in the chair. “Anahera wanted to go as me and I bought her this silver blazer. I’ll show you the pictures.”

“Oh, that’s precious. I can’t wait to see them.”

The trick-or-treaters slow down and Calum knows the end is nearing for them. Things usually end right about 8 in the neighborhood, though the general unspoken rule it so linger until about 8:30 just to catch all those that might’ve gotten a later start. But he and Bee stay out on the porch. She stacks the empty buckets and sneaks an Almond Joy for herself. “The decorations look good. And I just realized we completely forgot the fake blood.”

Calum shrugs, grabbing a small Snickers. “It’s alright. Most of the parents got it regardless.” They received a few compliments throughout the night but not too many. Most of the time the older kids walked up by themselves but when parents did shadow behind, they were quick to gush at the couple’s costumes. 

Anahera and Levi pop out onto the porch a little while later and Calum excuses himself to drop them off. Though, Bee snaps some photos for them and Anahera returns the favor by taking some photos of Bee and Calum together. The teases from the two are more than enough even when they don’t attempt to pose Bee and Calum in the standard high school prom pose. Calum and Bee go along with it mostly for the laughs. 

Bee starts to clean up in Calum’s absence and puts things inside the house. By the time she starts to wrestle with the speaker, Calum’s returned and helps her get it back inside. She ducks back to her car to grab the blazer for Levi and takes it from the bag so it can straighten as much as it can. Calum’s quick to hang it up to help as well. “Do you work in the morning?” Calum asks, pulling the hat from his head as he reenters the living room from the back of the house where his bedroom is located. 

“At the library, yeah. But I can hang for another hour or two. Unless of course I pass the fuck out.”

“I know that feeling. You hungry?”

Bee follows behind into the kitchen, her own beret and scarf removed as well. “I ate at work, but thanks.” She leans into the counter, eying the box of popcorn that seems to have been left out. Popcorn does sound good. She knows she shouldn’t. But just a little wouldn't hurt as they watch a movie. Sneakily, she pushes the box closer to Calum. 

He giggles, noticing the green box moving closer to him. “So I’m going to assume you want popcorn.”

“Please?”

Calum nods, waving for her to come closer. She steps in close, resting against his chest. The microwaves beeps before whirring. Calum kisses the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her waist. “The hottest Bonnie to walk this Earth.”

Bee laughs, kissing along his jawline. “Thank you. I think you cleaned up well as Clyde. Almost cut me looking so sharp in this suit.”

They share a kiss and the beeps of the microwave interrupts them. “What’s on the movie menu tonight?” Calum asks, bumping the bag into a bowl. Bee’s not in love with horror films but can generally stomach more gore than straight up horror. Rather than dominating the conversation with suggestions, Calum lets her take charge. However, they settle on whatever is playing on the TV, after a good twenty minutes of failed decision making. Bee snuggles into his side, a blanket wrapped about the both of them. 

“Where’s the picture of Anahera dressed up as you?” Bee asks during a commercial break. “I need to see this.”

Calum stretches forward to grab his phone and scrolls for the photo. “So this is the look she wanted to recreate,” he says showing her a picture of himself from so long along Calum’s shocked that he remembers it was actually him. But the picture of him in the silver jacket on stage instills a lot of memories. 

“Oh look at you! How old were you in this photo?”

“Twenty-two, twenty-three. It feels like a lifetime ago. But,” he starts swiping through the pictures again and pulls up the one of them side by side, rocking the glittery blazer and slicked back hair. “Here’s my little girl matching her old man.”

“God, she looks so much like you. It’s insane. But this is so cute.”

“Thanks. I will say if you think Anahera and I look alike, it’s a family trait.”

“So you look like your parents, huh? Like you got spit out.”

Calum nods. “Yeah. My mum’s the culprit. My sister and I look like she sculpted us personally. Also speaking of blazers, I still have to pay you back. How much was it again?”

The movie continues on around them as they settle the payment. Stories filter on about their children’s past successful or failed costumes. There are some stories about their exploits in their younger years. Kisses are shared, soft and languid. Some are sweeter due the candy they snuck during the night too. Hands slips under dress shirts or sweaters but Calum and Be don’t go too far. Just kisses and exhales and intoxicating themselves with the other. During a commercial break, Bee excuses herself to the bathroom and it’s only then that Calum realizes that it’s closing in around 11 pm.

Calum cleans up their mess of kernels and wrappers. When Bee returns she finds Calum in the kitchen, hugging him from behind. “I’m gonna head home to get some sleep.”

“No, don’t leave me,” he whines. 

“I know. I don’t wanna either. But out of respect, ya know. Can’t just be randomly spending the night.”

Calum kisses across her knuckles. “I appreciate it. Let me know when you get home safely okay.” 

“Will do.” Calum walks Bee to her car and kisses her goodnight before watching her pull down the driveway. Not even before he can get to the porch, another pair of headlights cuts through the night. He watches it pull up into this driveway and notices the tag--it’s Dan. 

Levi and Anahera step out of the car both of them giggling incessantly. “Oh fuck,” Ana says loudly upon seeing her dad. “Shit.”

Calum can already tell alcohol’s been involved. But there’s only amusement as both of them attempt to pass off like they’re sober. He takes Anahera while Dan helps Levi up the steps. “Seems like there was definitely been some fun tonight,” he teases, fixing both of them classes of water. 

“We won the costume contest!” Levi declares. “And maybe had a shot or two.”

“We got third,” Ana corrects. 

“Sstill placing.”

Calum tries his best not to laugh at their not sober antics. “Drink some water. Honestly, how many drinks?”

“Only like two, two and a half,” Ana confesses hiding behind the class. 

“It’s clear sweetheart, so I can still see you.” 

“Damn.” 

Levi laughs, slipping down into the cushions. The headscarf slips off their head with the action but they don’t seem to notice. “Are we screwed, Uncle Cal? I really really can’t afford to get into trouble.”

“We’ll wait to see if you’re screwed when you wake up tomorrow.  If you feel like ass in the morning, you’ll have to deal with that and there’s no reason for me to dish out any punishments.”

“If we don’t feel like ass?”

“The fear of getting caught coming home shamby from a paper is punishment enough,” Calum chuckles.

With a glass of water down each, he helps them to the room, mostly herding them from the walls to keep anyone from knocking their head on a picture frame. “Thanks, Dad,” Anahera sighs, leaning into the wall for a little bit of support. 

“There was a reason why most of your homework had to be done before the party,” he grins. “Holler if you need me, okay?”

Calum texts Bee about their return, safe but not sober. Damn, should’ve stuck around to witness that. Need an extra pair of hands? Bee replies. 

Seems like we’re all good. Thanks. 

Also please send me the photos of us from tonight? Whenever you can of course. I think if we had gone to a costume contest we would’ve won too.

Of course. Definitely would’ve won with a woman like you on my arm.  

Calum rises first the next morning, and doesn’t disturb them immediately. However, closer to late morning, he knocks softly on Anahera’s door. “Yeah?” Ana calls out and as he peeks inside he notices they’re still up. Levi is sitting on her bed and Ana at her desk. 

“Oh, thought you two might’ve died at some point in the night. Glad to see I was wrong.”

“We didn’t drink that much.”

Levi snorts. “I had to get you Advil.”

“Shut up,” Anahera huffs, dropping her head in her hands. “I’m okay, Dad. Really. I’m fine. Just like a minor headache that’s all.”

He shakes his head. “You’ll learn eventually. Pancakes on me this morning, how does that sound?”

“I’m down,” Levi answers. Their attention is locked on the screen. 

“I’ll let you know when food’s ready.” Calum states to the room and begins to shut the door but still can faintly catch Anahera asking Levi about the blazer. He leaves the door slightly ajar but walks back to his room the jacket hangs right where he left it. He wanted it to be a present, wanted to get it tailored. But he knows he can’t wait. Calum pulls it off the bar and shuffles back to Anahera’s room. Slipping his arm through, he hooks onto the knob on the inside and then closes the door. He waits for a moment. 

“No way! No fucking way!”

The door swings open, Levi gripping the hanger and shaking the garment. “You totally didn’t?” Their voice cracks just a little as the emotion rocks them visibly. 

“Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. But I mean you’re holding the jacket, so I’m pretty sure I did.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” they gush, tackling Calum into a hug. 

“Anytime, kid, anytime.” While Halloween’s typically celebrated and seen as a way to become and dress up like someone else, it doesn’t mean Levi doesn’t deserve the chance to dress like themself. “If you have to keep it over here, I get it. And I had anticipated waiting on giving it to you, but felt like now was a good time.”

They dance up and down the hallway with the suit jacket and Anahera laughs, recording their excitement. She’s careful not to post it on anything public. Her socks cause her to nearly slip and fall as she rounds the corner to the kitchen. Calum’s at the stove, flipping over pancakes when she hugs his side. “Thanks for being awesome. About the drinking and getting Levi that blazer. They love it.”

“The drinking’s one thing because you embarrassed yourself. The blazer--well I couldn’t not get it.”

“I know it’s because you’re amazing and awesome and like the best person to walk the planet, but it really does mean a lot.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. I’d do just about anything for you and Levi.”

“Only just about anything?”

“Hey, that’s still a long list and included on it is making the two of you pancakes so you two can study because there’s still school on Monday.”

“Oh don’t remind me,” she laughs, popping to kiss his cheek and then scurrying back around the corner of the kitchen. 

“That’s my job!” Calum shouts. 

“You do it well!” 

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.12 (Between a Rock and a Bra Place)

The Fan Favorite Episode

- Lizzie and Miranda are lamenting about having to play dodgeball in PE class. They also express their concern about falling behind some of the other girls in their grade because they are now wearing bras unlike them.

- Because of girls like Kate Sanders, they think that wearing a bra will automatically make one popular and empowered in a way. So, they feel like it’s high time they should start shopping for bras.

- Miranda asks Lizzie if her mom, Jo could drive them and drop them off at the mall after school. However, Lizzie thinks that she will want to come along with them. Miranda suggests they should lie to her and tell her they want to shop for school supplies, which should be able to signal to Lizzie’s mom that they are going on a safe and innocent shopping excursion.

“I want a bra!”

They sure do look like they are up to something huh?

- Lizzie and Miranda arrive at Lizzie’s house after school and they prepare themselves to let Jo know that they want a ride to the mall to shop for school supplies. However, there are a couple of cracks in this seemingly full-proof plan; They are not specific enough in mentioning the type of school supplies they want and Jo even called Gordo to come over and join the girls.

- Obviously, Lizzie and Miranda are not keen for Gordo to come along because they are shopping for bras. They then express how Gordo doesn’t need to come along because he’s not in their class where they need those school supplies. But Gordo is in all their classes (except gym); So he doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Looks like they are dropping the ball on this one.

- Jo becomes highly suspicious towards all of this and she questions only Lizzie specifically on what she needs to buy at the mall and Lizzie starts to break down and well, we then get this iconic moment:

Lizzie really wants a bra y’all

- Jo is feeling extremely elated about this revelation from Lizzie and she is delighted to take both Lizzie and Miranda bra shopping. On the other hand, Gordo just feels weird about what just happened and he decided to dis-invite himself from this shopping trip.

Matt: The Martial Artist

My favorite episode of Matt to date

- Matt shows his dad, Sam a page of a magazine showing an advertisement for a ‘Jet Li Sweepstakes’ contest where one lucky person will get the opportunity to appear alongside the Chinese actor and martial artist in his new untitled movie as his new sidekick.

- Sam asks for his wife’s opinion about Matt applying for this contest and she isn’t down for it at first but after Sam tells her that Matt probably isn’t going to win and they will be seen as ‘cool parents’ after this, she then agrees to it.

- Sam wants Matt to go for the conservative essay writing option as their contest submission and as predicted, Matt isn’t too fond of writing one. But because Gordo has decided to stay back to help Matt and Sam with the contest by using his camera to film a short video submission for Matt, Sam has no other choice but to now go for the option of filming and submitting a video.

Lizzie and Miranda Are Grown Young Adults

Miranda is thinking to herself, “How did I get myself into this mess?”

- At the mall, Lizzie and Miranda feel very embarrassed about having Lizzie’s mom to help them shop for bras because Jo is a little too excited about it and teenagers are you know, embarrassed by their parents most of the time.

- They both try to ditch Jo by pretending to be lost but as soon as they scrammed, they bump into their English teacher, Mr. Coppersmith. Okay, who is he and why haven’t I seen or remembered him? I think he is a one-time, one-episode teacher?

- Jo spots them and their teacher and doesn’t seem to pick up on the awkwardness in the room and proceed to hand over a bunch of bras for them to try on, right in front of him.

- Next, we cut to Lizzie and Miranda at the changing room and they are discussing about really telling Jo that they want to shop alone. Jo interrupts their conversation and opens the curtains of the changing stall Lizzie is in. This clearly agitates Lizzie and she kinda snaps at her mom and tells her that they don’t need her help shopping and she needs to leave them alone.

That sudden change of expression done by Hallie was brilliant.

- I feel so bad for Jo; Teenagers can be so insensitive sometimes like me back when I was a teenager. Jo recognizes Lizzie’s frustration and decides to play it cool by not scolding Lizzie and even offers her $40 for them to shop for their bras while she waits for them at the food court.

- Honestly, this is some of the best acting in the show thus far by both Hallie and Hilary.

Gordo: The Director

I think Gordo is a really good male-figure for Matt to look up to, besides his dad.

- Gordo is using this opportunity to put his skills as a director and filmmaker to the test and already, he has planned out the kind of establishing shots he wants to take of Matt. Sam is quite unsure about all of this and he thinks that interviewing Matt and asking him generic questions is good enough for the submission.

- Gordo wants this movie to be big and is confident that this martial arts movie he is about to film is going to set Matt’s entry apart from the others.

One good thing I can say about this is nice try I guess?

- We watch some snippets of the film at first and it doesn’t look too good nor realistic. There was a weird voice-over work done by Gordo, which I guess is the style of dubbed Chinese martial arts films back then and the action scenes were terrible.

- We move over to the scene where Matt tries to take a pebble from his master’s (played by Sam) palm but the scene didn’t go as planned because Sam didn’t stick to the script. He feels that everything Gordo is doing so far is a rip-off of Kung Fu movies out there.

- He then pulls a Jo Mcguire and leaves the kids to do their own thing without him. But what they don’t know is that he has secretly called this guy named ‘David’ for some help. And we all know that this is the late great David Carradine (older brother of Robert Carradine who plays Sam), who starred as  Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s series, Kung Fu and as Bill in the Kill Bill film franchise.

Kate and Claire Alert

- Lizzie and Miranda are not exactly sure on what they need to look out for when picking out a bra. The are just not familiar with bra sizes. To make matters worse, they bump into Kate Sanders and Claire Miller at the same store.

I think it’s cute that Kate is shopping with Claire and her mom

- We get some bickering at the beginning but things took a turn when they find out that Kate and Claire are both shopping with Claire’s mom. Lizzie and Miranda rub in their faces that they get to shop alone. I think shopping alone as a teen without your parents isn’t what I consider as ‘cool’.

- Anyways, this doesn’t stop Claire from giving them one her shady comebacks before they leave:

Their secret handshake is just a high five and a hair flip lol

Lizzie Needs Her Mom Back

- Lizzie and Miranda continue to be lost when it comes to bra shopping and Lizzie finally recognizes that she needs her mom now more than ever. They find Lizzie’s mom at the food court and try to apologize to her but Jo tells them that she can understand where they’re coming from and admits how embarrassing she can be.

- They admit that although they try to act like adults, they are far from being ready to handle all of this alone. Lizzie also apologizes to her mom for the rude behavior she displayed at the dressing room earlier. She realizes that the adult thing to do is to actually ask her mom for help instead of trying to figure out everything on their own. This is honestly a great lesson to teach to young girls and boys.

Here Comes David

I just get chills from this entrance. David had such amazing presence on screen.

- Matt and Gordo are struggling to film the ‘pebble taking’ scene without Sam and they decide to find him and plead for him to help them. The next thing they know, David pops into the backyard and greatness has basically arrived.

The Carradine Brothers

- Matt demonstrates some of his martial arts ‘skills’ to David and David tells him that he has a lot of work to do. That’s definitely a sure thing.

When the pupil becomes the masters

- We then get a cool montage of Matt’s Kung Fu training and fight scene with David to the legendary song ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ by Carl Douglas. Matt even nails the ‘pebble taking’ scene down. Afterwards, we get a chilling exit from David as he walks back into the house and disappears from a distance.

- Gordo then asks Sam who was that man who all of a sudden came and taught Matt Kung Fu and Sam responds to him and says he has “known him all of his life and is like a brother to him”. Well, that’s because he’s your real life brother lol.

Closing Off

- During Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda’s three way phone conversation, Lizzie remarks how she cannot believe Gordo spent an entire day with her dad and brother but considering the other alternative he had, he was happy with his decision. He just wants Lizzie and Miranda to give him the heads up next time when they shop for bras and other female-gender related items.

What a way to close an episode

- Sam pick up a phone call and on the other end of the line is the person calling from the Jet Li sidekick contest and to his shock and horror, Matt won the contest!

Overall Thoughts

- I can honestly say that this is one of the best episodes of the season so far. Lizzie and Miranda’s bra shopping story-line with Lizzie’s mom was hilarious and cringe-worthy to watch, but in a good way. I’m sure this scene had so many young girls who were able to relate to it.

- The lesson of recognizing and admitting you need help from your parents despite the flawed perception that adults always have to do things solo is very deep and it should be ingrained in every person’s mind.

- And finally, this is the first episode that I actually love Matt and Sam’s story-line. It was super entertaining to watch and although you can say it’s all action and comedy and there’s no lesson to take away from it, everything was executed perfectly. And I appreciate how they were able to get Robert’s brother David to appear in this episode since he was such a icon in the martial arts film and television genre.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #245

“i fell asleep at the wheel again, crashed my car just to feel again.”

What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over the appropriate amount of eye contact I make. What color is your mp3? Hot pink. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeup. Is there a song or lyrics currently super-glued in your head? "Popular Monster" by Falling In Reverse FUCK What can you go a day without doing? Uhhh a lot? I dunno... oh, drink water because I suck at that gah. I've gotten a lot better than I used to be tho. What can’t you go a day without doing? Touching some form of technology. Who do you spend most of your time with? Myself. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? Treat others with kindness. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I definitely think so. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Lol I have some of my own... but let's say it was a clean slate again. I'd put some macabre/gothic art of some sort up, probably. Of COURSE with meerkats making an appearance. What fruit is too sweet to you? Hm, I'm blanking. What was the last contest you have ever won: Uhhhh... I think the giveaway of two Silent Hill: Revelation things? That was forever ago. What was the worst hair cut you have ever had in your entire life: Looking back, the haircut I had before this one (short on the left, faded into still rather long on the right) I don't really like anymore. Looks fine in some pictures, but not most. What was the worst thing you have ever worn in your life: Oh I don't know. Probably some dance costume. Do you like any sort of animes: Yeah, a handful. I'd honestly like to watch more. Have you ever used someone for your own benefits: I don't think so. What is the worst cartoon you have ever seen: Oh boy, idk. There's some dumb ones, a lot that I've only seen peeks of. Do you like to type or write more: TYPE. Writing physically can easily make my carpal tunnel act up. I hated having to hand-write a few essays last semester... I had to stop frequently to roll my wrists and cringe and stuff. What color would you have your skin if you could change it: I'd like pale skin like I have, but I wish it was more flawless/porcelain-ish. SOOOOOO pretty ahahhhhhhhhahhhhhh Do you usually cook your own meals, or does someone cook for you: I usually have to throw something together in the microwave because Mom's barely home, but when she is home, she cooks. If someone cooks for you, do you always thank them for it: YES. YES. NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL. What do you do during the day: Almost without question, SOMEthing on technology/usually computer. As for what I do on technology, boy, a lot a lot. I don't even feel like listing it all. When you are online what do you normally find yourself doing: ... Oh, lmao. Uhhh binging YouTube, writing on or just checking up on KM, dA browsing/cleaning my drowning inbox, Facebook, "working" at the SH and SotC wikis, playing games, roaming Tumblr, check my emails, uhhhhhhh,,,, What is the most hated item you own: I wouldn't... keep it if I hated it? Uhhhh yeah, I honestly don't know. What is your favorite item you own out of all the items you have: My iPod, really. I have over 1k songs on this old-ass nano that I've had since middle school. I guess my laptop is kinda tied, but idk. Like, I don't love this laptop itself, just that it allows me to go online at a decent speed lmao. I guess they're my favorites in different ways. So, do you think that you will get where you want in life currently: Not stopping pushing for it 'til I get it. Why is that so. May I ask: I'm "too" determined. It's been a struggle getting to even where I am, but FUCK, I'm getting there. Do you like Halloween: I can't fwu if you don't. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not to my recollection. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? Personally, I think a simple peck is fine IF that's your thing and it's mutually understood that it's platonic. Ex., I know greeting kisses are normal in some cultures, and I see no reason to shame it so long you're not like making out. Is it okay for girls to hit boys? Fuck no. Unless you're like fighting off an assailant/defending yourself, NO gender hits ANYONE. Do you know a lot of attractive boys personally? I've never thought about it? I'm not gonna dig through all the people I know rn... What happens if you realized you had a crush on somebody? More than anything, I'd be scared of being hurt again, particularly if it's a guy. So I definitely wouldn't make the first move. Do you think you are attractive? No. Which two of your friends would have the cutest baby together? I don't know. How do you feel about your naked body? DON'T COME AT ME WITH THIS QUESTION GO AWAY Have you ever been called obnoxious? No. At least, not to my memory. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No, but a more close-knit one. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. If somebody smacks your butt, you automatically say: I wouldn't say shit, I'd turn around and smack them across the face. How often does your family life conflict with your social life? Pretty much never. Have you ever been emotionally abused? No, thankfully. Do small children like you? They seem to, I guess. If karma is really true, should you be worried? Not very. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis? None. Do you have anything hidden in your room? Yeah, some saved money. What do you wish you were doing right now instead of this? It'd be great to talk to Sara. If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? Oh I'm going to the fucking hospital for that epidural fren. If I even wanted kids. What was the last thing you ordered online? Uhhh good question. Have you ever had a bad experience with anti-depressants? If so, what? Well, actually the entire time I was ON anti-depressants. Because I'm bipolar, anti-depressants actually ramp up the aggression of bipolarity symptoms. How, I don't recall the science of, but I trust every word that comes out of my psychiatrist's mouth for many reasons. That definitely happened. One also made me gain weight, and the worst instance was in middle school when I was briefly on one that made me SO fucking hyper and happy in the morning but I crashed into an absolute bitchy monster by mid-afternoon. Now a combination of mood stabilizers helps both my bipolarity and depression immensely and are the main reason I'm alive. Are you allergic to any plants? I mean, I'm allergic to pollen. Are you an outdoors person? If the weather is cool, I love it. Does your past bother you? Some parts of it. Do you take risks or play it safe? I tend to play it safe. What forms of art do you like the best? This is an absolutely impossible question. "Art" has such an incredible range of forms, and I enjoy like... all. I guess the one thing I don't particularly care for is abstract art. What forms of art do you want to try? HYPERREALISM IN DRAWING. I REALLY wanna be able to draw/paint/whatever and make it look so true to life, BUT I'd like to add fantasy aspects to what I'm making (for example, my characters). I'd love to do portraits, too. This isn't really a "type" of art, but one thing I desperately want in art is to actually develop my own recognizable style that isn't just a wobbly attempt at realism with shitty proportions. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn's dope. Has a medication ever made you itch? No. What’s your favorite rainy day activity? Cuddle with snacks and like binge a good TV show/YT videos, etc. BUT considering I'm single I'ma just take a nap if I'm actually tired and you can hear the rain on the window. Do you put creamer in your tea? I wonder how many times I'll tell surveys I hate tea lmao by the end of my life lmao. What do you think are some good names for twins? I don't care enough to think about this. What are three things that fascinate you? Animal behavior (particularly social), the paranormal, and genetics. Would you say you live more in the past, present, or future? Present, I think. Have you ever been a victim of a crime? Not me personally, no, but my family. We had our basketball hoop stolen from our front yard and I was mega tilted yo. Does injustice make you angry? More like it infuriates me. Do you have the bad habit of procrastinating? Very badly. Are you afraid of running into a certain person in public? I both am and am not afraid of running into Jason. I have a very strong feeling I'd start having a PTSD episode (by that I mean hyperventilating, crying a bit, and shaking at the very least), but simultaneously I just want him to know I'm sorry. Do you have anyone you avoid? No. Do you have the same dreams now that you did as a kid? No. Who’s your crush? I don't really know if I have one right now. My old friend Ian and I started talking, and he's a fucking hilarious dude with similar ethics to mine with great compassion, but I still don't know him well enough to say I like-like him. I'm honestly just happy to have an irl friend again that actually talks to me regularly. Do you trust the government? I believe in WAY too many conspiracy theories to even try to convince anyone I trust the government lmao. Who do you want to meet in Heaven? I don't know exactly what sort of afterlife I believe in (it's not the traditional Heaven though), but I do believe that souls can reunite. The first thing I want to see again is Teddy. Does your school take sports too seriously? Considering we're well-respected in the sports field to the degree we draw in a huge number of foreign athletes, guess you could say yes lmao. Most of the people I even slightly know here came for sports. If there are bruises on your body, how did you get them? There aren’t. Would you ever go back in time to do something over again, but differently? Yes. Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? The airport. Have you thought about your wedding in detail? Not great detail, no. Do you think you could ever really kill someone? In self-defense, I know I could. Do you like Papa John’s pizza? I couldn't even guess the last time I had it. I don't remember. Do you attend school? Yeah. Do you call it a crush, or do you just say you like someone? The latter. Where were you when the ball dropped? In my bed asleep lmao. Where are your siblings? Probably all at work. Waffles, pancakes, or french toast? French toast. Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? Not really, but I WILL wonder to myself if you believe in some of the bullshit just about every religion has somewhere. Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? YUP YUP YUP! Mainly irl tho. Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? No. Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? No. Been to one where everyone was high, though. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I'd hope the good guy. Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? Ha ha yeah. Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? Yes. Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? Yes, all but one. What do you hear right now? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Proud as fuck because this song was a MASSIVE PTSD trigger at first and even made me cry, but despite it still making me kinda uncomfortable, I can listen to and enjoy it now. If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? The only three people whose opinions would matter there would be Sara, Girt, and Jason. Sara and Jason would fucking break me, while I think Girt would of course make me cry, but I just. Wouldn't be surprised to lose another irl friend. I'd be so fucking hurt by any. OH YEAH, what would I say? I think Sara would have me speechless. I'd probably just choke out, "I don't blame you," to Jason. Girt, my first instinct pondering this was "are you serious?" because he's such a joker while my stomach dropped. What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her, but still feel kinda sad that it wasn't me. What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? If I like the person, I feel very comforted. It like... makes me feel small, safe, and permitted to just let my emotions loose, ex. be "allowed" to cry. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check my phone to see the time. Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? I don't want to answer this. Do the math. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? No. Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? Yeah. Would you date someone three years older than you? Yeah. Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Actually as of recently, the morning. It's a nice way to start the day clean and energized. Could you handle living with the last person you texted? I'd love to live with her. Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was assigned, but I loved it. Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? Not really? Well no, I think I'm being a less procrastinating student and also not fleeing so quickly from situations that invoke my anxiety. Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? SOBS Blockbuster come BACK we NEED u. What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? Eh, it was stupid and something that realistically isn't worth being annoyed by. I was SUPER bored and tired yesterday waiting for Mom to finish her field work while I waited in the library after classes, and I was so ready to go home, but she stayed longer than she thought she would. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? Actually, not really. He's way too motivated and drawn to people who push forward and get shit done, and just in general at least from how I "know" him as a fan I could only realistically see us as friends. But a fangirl can dream ok just let me dream. When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? I'll answer hypothetically if I watched TV: probably something I know I like. Might get adventurous every now and again and try something new, though, especially if it's on a channel I like. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I haven't had to. I juuuuust slightly have enough room where I DID have them grow in. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Uhhh probably the deli, which I got and lasted for two hours my first work day lmao. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. What do people tell you your voice sounds like? I dunno, kinda deep for a girl and lacking an accent most of the time. What financial class are you? Lower. What poster is hanging closest to you? A huge Nightmare Before Christmas one. Are you more comfortable with men or women? Women. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Maybe if Ian did? Idk. It'd be a nice way to get to know more about each other, but I'd only agree to it after we talked a bit longer. Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? Not "a ton." Things we'll eat again though, yes. Favorite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. I haven't watched it. Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? Hell yes. Pretty sure next is collarbones if I could just lose a little bit more weight so they're more visible. Do you love when people remember little things about you? YES OMG!!!!!!!!!! Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? Yes, I just think it's common good manner. Even though the reasoning behind it is whatever, it's a societal thing that I just go along with. How many phones have you gone through? Idk, not too many. Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? No.

[dabistits]

Philosophy: Fiction changes values

Many of the philosophical inquiries into fiction and its purposes highlight fiction's ability to influence and communicate a “right way of being” to its readers. Philosophers, at least since the days of Aristotle if not earlier (Belfiore, 2014), have claimed that fiction provides a place for both author and reader to explore morals, ethics, and values. Plato's description of fiction posits that fictional stories will “mould [young people's] minds and characters,” and beliefs that fiction will at least influence, if not “mould,” our minds and characters persist (discussed in Deleuze, 1983).

Modern philosophers continue to discuss fiction as an avenue for value exploration. Currie, for example, argues that by projecting ourselves into fictional characters and scenarios, we learn about real consequences (1994). Other philosophers explore variations on this theme, such as Paskins' (1977) discussion of emotion and fiction, and Galgut's exposition of our absorption in stories (2002). A clear theme is that fiction readers and authors are doing the work of making values. The theme of fiction as value‐maker is especially apparent in cautionary discussions about controlling fiction, for example when we discuss which fiction is appropriate for our children. Scholarly conversations, political discussions, popular media, and library guidelines all include vehement arguments about censorship of, influence by, and appropriate use of fiction.

Literary studies: Fiction changes social norms and boundaries

Literary scholars have investigated the meanings and influences of literature from studies of folklore to studies of modern romance fiction. When reading these works, a common theme emerges that describes fiction as “boundary‐forming” (Bettelheim, 1975). The formation of boundaries through reading fiction occurs through an interaction by which readers sometimes accept social norms (i.e., “boundaries”). Acceptance of norms, however, is but one way boundary‐formation occurs. Sometimes reading fiction is an interaction through which readers contest those boundaries or norms. Radway (1991), for example, studies women who read romance, and finds that they use reading in complex and even conflicting ways: not just to “escape” and accept boundaries, but also to challenge accepted social boundaries, and their roles within those boundaries. In part, Radway identifies a romance novel's mythic ending as a story archetype that both conforms to (often unrealistic) ideals while also allowing some readers to combat societal norms. Literary scholars, Carroll (1996) and Cohen (2000) explore the idea of both conforming and combating when he discusses the paradox of violent horror and stresses that readers enjoy reading about violence not out of perversion, but because it is a (relatively) safe place to test (and contest) normal scenarios and problems.

Both Finders (1997) and Buckingham (1993) confirm that fiction is related to the formation of social norms. It would not be accurate to say, however, that modern literary scholars claim that fiction causes particular effects. Both Finders and Buckingham stress the active role of the reader rather than supporting a simple, deterministic view of effects. Rather, we should say that fiction serves as a place where people perform complex and even opposing interactions: both confirming and contesting. Finders' work reveals especially how girls form social identities through reading, while the essays in Buckingham demonstrate that even young readers are not passive consumers of fiction, but rather actively use fictional works to socialize, question, and accept.

In line with the findings of the philosophers summarized in the first sub‐section then, there is a strong indication from literary research that fiction changes people's minds and attitudes, although in literary studies the focus shifts to social norms rather than internal values. After all, according to George Orwell, “All art is propaganda,” (2009, p. 39). He meant that all art (and he writes particularly about fiction) attempts to persuade its reader of some point of view. A close look at the research shows that fiction does not always succeed as authors intend, but that fiction does have some influence nonetheless. According to these literary scholars, fiction particularly gives readers a way to make sense of social norms, and, through that understanding, fiction also provides a means of resistance to those social norms (Radway, 1991, p. 101).

Psychology and fiction: Fiction changes our empathy

In psychology and cognitive psychology, researchers see reading fiction as part of our evolutionary behavior that necessitates art and socialization (e.g., Gottschall, 2012). They argue specifically that fiction is an evolutionary element that helps humans develop a “theory of mind.” This theory of mind is useful because we have evolved socially, and thus have a desire to understand others (Boyd, 2009; Zunshine, 2006). Authors in psychology claim that reading fiction develops a stronger theory of mind, that is, readers' ability to better understand the minds of others.

Oatley (2009) also explores this theory and finds that reading fiction of any type increases the empathy and altruism of readers, and identifies this increase as a socially valuable evolutionary behavior. According to Oatley, fiction influences readers to care about others (even made‐up others) and sometimes adds to the readers' understanding of human emotions and thoughts. This psychological research continues to support the general theories of philosophy and literary studies to confirm that readers sometimes change their attitudes and ideas. Researchers in psychology, unsurprisingly, focus on empathy and the mind where philosophers focus on values and literary theorists on social norms.

Entertainment studies and education: Fiction changes learning and development

In perhaps the most obviously identifiable relationship for information and fiction, the fields of entertainment and education often overlap in discussing how fiction teaches readers about the world. According to these scholars, fiction can be a useful venue to educate people. Krashen (2004) presents arguments in his book that assert that reading fiction teaches language, cognitive skills, and writing. Others claim that fiction is a good way to teach readers practical topics such as health and hygiene, geography, and history (see Singhal, 2004). Still other media scholars have argued that entertainment is an essential aspect of learning through play (e.g. Zillman & Bryant, 1994), though these scholars often disagree about the effects of media such as whether violent fiction will make readers more violent (e.g. Barker & Petley, 2001).

“Toward an understanding of fiction and information behavior,” by Ramona Broussard & Philip Doty

[purplesurveys]

625

Have you ever been afraid to get up and go to the bathroom? This is usually me between 1 to 4 AM lmao. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No, I’ve never subscribed. When I still collected magazines I’d buy them at the mall, but we never use the subscription leaflet thingies that they’d insert inside. How many websites do you have an account for? Too many to count honestly, but I regularly use around over 15. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? I’m part of Spotify and Netflix memberships but I pay for neither. Gab lets me use her Spotify which is paid for by her parents. :(( and my dad pays for our Netflix family bundle. Do you try clothes on before you buy them? No, it’s so time-consuming and uncomfortable. I have a good idea of how my body is built anyway so I just pick up pieces I like and buy them.

Have you seen The Blindside? I tried watching, but it was so unbelievably boring and I never finished it. What's the best movie you've seen this year? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Do you know how to fire a gun? No. I’ve never held a real one, ever. What would you do if you knew a robber was in your house? Take my dog and hide somewhere. Idk, I have a feeling the neighbors would be pretty unreliable so I don’t think screaming for help would do anything. I’d rather stuff taken than have anyone get hurt. Have you played the Sims 3, yet? I’ve never gotten to play it, no. What's your favorite type of pizza? I will always order quattro formaggi and nothing else.

Do you have a favorite local pizza place? Not really. My favorite branch is Yellow Cab, but I don’t have a favorite independent pizza place. What are you afraid of? Just because I recently got three injections to the roof of my mouth and it reminded me of my fear of these: needles. Have you ever been afraid of falling in love? Yeah. It was very scary for me while it was happening because it was with my best friend, and there was always that chance of our friendship crumbling if I tell her how I felt. Fortunately it didn’t go that route. How do you let someone know that you like them? I like to be straightforward and just tell them I like them. Have you ever asked a friend to ask someone else out for you? No. Who'd you last see in a tux? In any context, Ross Geller from Friends. In real life, it’d probably some dude in BGC since a lot of people there dress fashionably. Were you sad when Tim Urban got sent home on American Idol? I remember the name, but I don’t remember being enthusiastic over him during that season. I didn’t dislike him either though; I guess he was one of the contestants I didn’t particularly keep an eye on.   What about Jason Castro, 2 years ago? He was good but I didn’t like his genre, so I wasn’t too devastated when he was eliminated. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? My mom did this for us once with a movie that was premiering on the Disney Channel – Jump In – but otherwise, recording shows was never as popular here as much as it was in like the States. Do you have difficulty pronouncing any words? I hate having to pronounce the words beautiful and bureaucracy. Would you rather take a shower or a bath? Bath. I get to do it much less often, but I also find it infinitely more relaxing. How many times do you shower in a week? At least four and at most six. What brand's your cell phone? Apple. Have you ever sexted? In the past. Haven’t in a while though.

How many contacts do you have? I have...too many contacts to count manually. It doesn’t help that at one point, Gabie’s contacts synced to my phone as well so now I have a bunch of her numbers as well. I’ve just gotten too lazy to delete them this whole time so they’re all still just sitting on my contact list. Do you have your own computer? Yep, I’m using it right now. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? If you’re talking about kindness, Laurice. If you’re talking about ambition and passion...I’d say probably Tina and Bryan. Who's the bravest person you know? Not so sure about that. I think everyone I know is all scared in their own way lmao. Who would you want to have your back if things got tough? Gab, of course. And she has been having my back. Do you ever make up retarded words with your friends? First of all, dumb word choice. Second, no. Have your friends ever given you answers to homework, last minute? I think we all did these for each other back in high school minutes before algebra period. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? Back in high school, I guess Gab was a little sportsy. I know she played softball and before that, basketball. She isn’t much into sports these days though. Are you any good at writing? I can write mean essays and research papers, but you can’t pay me to come up with a poem or short story. What's your favorite form of writing? I like learning and picking up new info more than anything else so I like reading educational stuff in a Wikipedia-like format, honestly. I’m not sure how else to describe that haha. What do you think about Lil Wayne? The autotune is a little weird but other than that I don’t really care for him. Lil Wayne Vs. Eminem...?? :S Probably Lil Wayne? Eminem has his fair share of problematic lyrics over the years and Lil Wayne has just always struck me as super chill lol. Have you ever given up on someone before? Sure. Did you end up regretting it later in life? Never. I tend to give people so many chances to get better so once I finally cut them out, it just means they’ve fucked up enough for me not to regret finally giving up on them. Have you ever done something terrible, but took forever to feel bad? Yes. Have you ever read Shakespeare? I had to read Shakespeare in high school. R&J for freshman year, Merchant of Venice in sophomore year, Macbeth in junior year, Hamlet in senior year. How come no one knows what MGMT is on here? Sorry to make you feel worse but I had to Google that too just now. What did you dream about last night? Nah, I straight up passed out last night. I was too tired. Have you ever looked up the meaning to a dream? Sure, especially if the dream was a nightmare. Have you ever tried to change someone? No, I don’t think I’ve done this before. Can anyone really change anyone that doesn't wanna change? That’s a pretty deep question, but I’m not in the mood to dive in much so I’ll just say it’ll always be a different reaction from person to person. Do you thnk that anyone currently has a crush on you? Other than my girlfriend, I doubt it. What profession do you admire the most? Those that have to deal with ALL KINDS of people, honestly. Servers, cashiers, salespeople in stores, grocery clerks, etc. Mad fucking respect. I’m sorry for the boomers and Gen X people who flip out over the smallest things, babies who spill shit everywhere, customers who nag way too much, and for all the Karens and the Barbaras of the world. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? I don’t think I ever did this. What's the hardest lesson you've ever had to learn? World doesn’t stop for your grief. What are you wearing right now? I am wearing the blue dress I wore out today because I am too lazy to change. Do you miss your ex? No ex. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? If they are a dick and if they are loud, because most of the ones I’ve encountered tick both of these boxes. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. I still do these days. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be and why? Money. We have more than enough and I’m always grateful, but it’s a very human thing to always be wanting more of it anyway, and I fall under that tendency as well.

[wintersongstress]

Author Questionnaire✍️📚

tagged by the magnificent @a-shakespearean-in-paris and @deviantramblings to answer some writing questions — thank you both, I loved reading your responses! 

Rules are to answer some questions about writing and pass the tag along :)

Author Name: Here on tumblr its muse-of-nightmares, whereas on ao3 my handle is anonymous_huxely. 

Fandoms You Write For: At the moment, RDR2. I didn’t start writing fanfiction until I was 17, but in the past I wrote for Star Wars *deep sigh* and I had a few uncompleted wips for Detroit: Become Human *even deeper sigh*.  I haven’t really gotten into any new gaming fandoms because I’m depressed af and have little interest to do things I used to enjoy my PS4 is nearly out of storage as well as my gaming pc and laptop😪  

Where You Post: On ao3 and on tumblr. I was considering doing wattpad at one point but I just...I don’t like the way it looks. 

Most Popular One-Shot: I would say Do Not Touch the Artwork is my most popular work in regards to feedback. I was humbled by all of the praises everyone left me about my writing style and prose, and I was surprised that people are still reading arthur/reader fics. Despite its name, the rdr fandom is not dead. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read that ♡.   

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Look at me. Look at my crippling self doubt and tell me if you think I have enough confidence and motivation to write a long fic😂. I hope I get there someday, I think it would really improve my writing skills. 

Favorite Story You Wrote: Its an original story I wrote for a class that I hope to rewrite and flesh out completely some day. The setting was rich and the characters had good conflicts, I just had a word count that restricted its full potential harshly. I also am quite fond of a nonfiction essay I wrote because it won first prize in a writing contest. Writing about my life is far easier than writing about imaginary ones... 

A Story You Were Nervous to Post: I’m nervous to post any of my writing to be honest. I can never tell if it is any good after working on something for a long time. 

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Coming up with a title is one of my favorite parts during the process of writing a piece. Once my idea is grounded, I think about what the most important take-away is, what I want to echo, what the heart of the piece is. I make up my titles based off what I think encapsulates everything in the work and I always want something with a creative ring to it that people will remember. 

Do You Outline: Yes, I like to outline. Its not strictly necessary for me, though, and it depends on the length of the project. Listing things in order makes me more likely to accomplish something if I break it down, that way I can see the blanks I need to fill in. 

Complete: Only one-shots. I like to think I’m a quality-over-quantity kind of writer 💅 lol. Writing was really hard to get done while I was in school and had 2 part-time jobs. Since I graduated, there’s been much less stress so I’m hoping I’m more active in writing this summer and reconnect with my passion for storytelling.

In-Progress: I got a couple requests to write a part 2 for Do Not Touch the Artwork so I am working on that right now. 

Coming Soon: I have some ideas for a long fic that I am more interested in writing for the sake of myself. If I get into any new fandoms I’m sure I will write for those! No promises though. I might drop off the face of the Earth and never write again. You never know🤷. 

Do You Accept Prompts: Go for it just fuck me up fam. There are no guarantees I will fill a prompt though. I find requests are good ways to stretch your fingers and you can be pleasantly surprised with how they turn out!

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: The long fic I mentioned :) Not 100% sure if it will happen but I always need to have something on the back burner! Ideas are in no short supply around here. 

summoning tagging celestial beings of pure talent (at your discretion, of course :)) : @dicax-asina // @hindarsfjall // @porkchop-ao3 // @nordic-breeze // @shadows-echoes // @veanery // @witchfall // @mulanisms // @connorshero // @verai-marcel 

[inked-iwtfw]

Inked - Stylishmuser

We all know how hard it is to find new writers on tumblr (let’s face it, it’s hard to do anything on tumblr these days), and that sometimes means talent gets buried. So, as two writers, we wanted to do something to highlight the wonderful talent the Harry Styles fandom has.

If you’d like to take part, or you have a writer you’d like to see get some recognition, fill out this handy form HERE! Please don’t be shy about putting yourself forward, this isn’t a popularity contest, this is about you and your writing being found. We’re also on Wattpad so if you have an author on there you’d like us to talk to, feel free to suggest them.

Here’s a shameless plug for our work!

@harrystylesgotmefuckedup​ : Masterlist

@imnottherealharrystyles : Masterlist

and be sure to also follow @huccimermaidshirts if you don’t already!

Love, Mo, Van, and Elena x

Our next talented author is the lovely @stylishmuser!

Find her writing here: Tumblr | Wattpad

When did you start writing? Who inspired you to give writing a go? I first started writing in 2013! It’s kind of weird how it started, actually. I was put in an AP English class against my will and every week we had to write a 1000 word essay about whatever we read that week. It was around the same time I finished ‘Gossip Girl’ and I started discovering what fanfic was. I got really mad about how the series ended so I decided to write my own ending for Nate’s story! I originally only shared it one friend, a guy, and he told me it was so good. Encouraged me to publish it, and I did!

Tell us your 1D/Harry origin story. I’m one of the fans that got into them after hiatus and have been suffering ever since! I actually had a Harry Potter fanfic blog, and I got curious about this other Harry so I started reading some fic, listening to more 1d. And then one day I realized I wanted to try something new and I made a 1d sideblog. Eventually I delete the hp blog and it wasn’t long before I started wanting to write for Niall too and was a full fledged Narrie. 

Tell us why Harry is your muse. AH well that’s a very tricky question. Obviously, he’s very attractive but as I started getting more into him and 1d in general, I realized he’s one of the kindest guys I’ve ever come across. Which, I guess, is strange because we don’t really know him, do we? I think what makes Harry so fun to have as a muse is you can write him into any situation because his personality is so concrete across the fandom. 

Do you tell people you write fanfic? Do you tell people you write at all? I do, yeah. I don’t tell them for who or what the fic is really about, at least not to people I’m not close to. I don’t really suffer from the societal “shame” that comes with fanfic. I’m proud of what I do and I obviously don’t pass out links in real life but I’m not afraid to defend my writing and fanfic in general. All the important people in my life are supportive so I’m lucky! 

Do you have a writing playlist, or do you need complete silence to write? I don’t have a playlist! But I do listen to music from time to time. I listen to the same song on repeat usually cause it’s like background music and doesn’t distract me. 

What’s your favourite thing you've ever written. Oh man.. hm… okay for Niall I really liked the blurb “Something More” and Harry definitely “Timeless.” 

What's your favourite thing you've ever read? Fanfic and non-fanfic? I think my all time favorite fic is “Little do you know” by nightingiall. Book wise, my favorites are “The Light of Paris” and “Still Me.”  

Do you tend to stick to one genre, or do you like to change things up a little? Hmm I guess romance would be an overarching genre to all my stories, but I’m trying to do more AU’s. They’re challenging, but really fun! 

Do you have a fixed plan of what you're going to write, or do you just see where the story takes you? Oh god no I always have a tedious outline, down to the pieces of dialogue I want in that chapter. In some cases I have just a general idea of what happens and then I flush it out once I get there, but most times I known exactly what I need to write. 

Is there a schedule you follow in terms of when you write? Or are you more impulsive and just write where and when you can? For my chaptered stories, yes. I upload every Friday and then write on the weekend. I think when I write blurbs and drabbles I’m more impulsive. 

Are your stories driven by plot or character? Both work together, I think. The characters are flawed and that makes the plot move on and whatever the plot throws at the characters makes them transform.

Some readers are wary of leaving feedback because they're unsure how the writer will take it, how do you personally like to receive feedback? Do you want to be critiqued, or would you like to just know if they did or didn't enjoy what they've read?

I think, personally, if I didn’t receive the feedback I do then I would’ve deleted my stories a long time ago. The thing about feedback on tumblr is that it comes in two forms: asks & notes. Some, if not most, writers get one or the other. I consider myself really lucky to have readers that not only want to read each week but take the time to message me their thoughts. As far as what the feedback is, I think it depends on how people read. It’s always nice to hear what people liked, or what made them curious, but I’m not against constructive criticism given the right way. If it’s telling an author they don’t like the character, etc, or yelling for an update — not here for it. I had someone once tell me Rhea was spineless (like 4 chapters into the book) and it rubbed me the wrong way. If you read on, you know she isn’t! So I guess what I’m trying to say is, if that person would’ve phrased it differently like - “Rhea bothers me because ___” then it would’ve been constructive rather than destructive. It’s all about how you word things!!!! (I rambled on this one, sorry!)

Do you use a beta? If so, feel free to give them a shout out! How do they help you? Absolutely! I use a different beta for every story cause I like to see what they suggest. Some betas read, some betas suggest, and some do both! They’re genius at helping me figure out minor plot holes. Some of my lovely betas are: @thatoddpanda, @yeahmynameissushi, @fireawaynjh, @harrysdodgyankles, @roseonhissleeve, @irish-nlessing

Is writing a hobby or do you have aspirations of writing professionally outside of fanfiction? I would love to publish books one day! I write for work, non-fiction, but my heart resides in fiction.

Do you post your writing in other places? Where do you you find to be the best place for your work? Yes,wattpad! I like tumblr for feedback and visual content, but I like wattpad because you get concrete numbers on stats and have in line comments!

Favorite writing trope? Enemies to lovers & friends to lovers! I can’t pick.

AU or OU? I’m going to say BOTH but with a strong inclination towards OU.

Preferred types of writing: Blurbs, short stories, or full fics? Full fics. I used to write blurbs all the time but now… it’s just so nice to dig your heels into a full storyline and really develop characters!

Do you draw anything from your personal life? What inspires your subject matter? Not heavily, but yeah. It’s subtle things. Like a character’s favorite cereal, or what kind of pens they prefer to use. Rhea’s family story was reminiscent of mine in some ways. I would say my Indian culture kind of has a big play in my stories too.  

What's your purpose for writing? What do you hope to accomplish? I like to write because I like to create worlds where I get things I don’t in my own life. It’s the perfect combination of escape and want. I want to keep challenging myself and keep writing until I die, lol.  

And finally, do you have any advice/tips for your fellow fanfic writers? Yes! I think, it’s very easy to get caught up in the validation aspect. It’s natural, and it’s something I still go through, but I’ve learned that enjoying what YOU do is really the key to writing. I would say don’t stop doing what you love no matter what people think of it. Don’t get caught up in the accolades and the humdrum and just keep doing you. It’s hard on tumblr, but sometimes the validation we crave comes when we least expect it. Write for you, not anyone else. And most of all… have fun, because that’s kind of why we all started writing right? To have a fun escape. Tell your authors you love their fics! And finally, don’t feel scared. Reach out to other writers, writers you admire! It’s a community that can seem very cliquey, but it doesn’t have to be that way. People are always willing to help in my experience (me included).

[1dreality]

Zayn Malik was never the celebrity you thought he was. If it wasn’t already obvious from his detached, often melancholic interviews in the wake of his 2015 departure from One Direction, it will be from the title of his second solo album. The very elongated 27-track Icarus Falls is comprised of more of the sparse R&B that Malik has perfected since his first release Mind of Mine in 2016, but like its titular myth is also indebted to themes of incredible ascent and crushing decline.

A decline not of Malik’s career, it should be said, but rather of his own mental health, the album serving as both an intimate meditation on Malik’s life so far and a dire warning about the trauma of instant fame. It all leads to one obvious question: Is Zayn OK?

In an age of millennial openness and Instagram confessionals, Malik remains something of an outlier: an enormously famous and highly visible celebrity, but one whose ambiguity allows us to project much onto him. In our collective consciousness, he has been the 1D-fleeing villain, smoking cigarettes, being mean to his bandmates on Twitter and looking miserable as well as the “soft boy” pin-up, a vulnerable figure in desperate need of a hug.

Much of that ambiguity is intentional. Along with declining to tour Mind of Mine, Malik is often press-shy, choosing not to take part in TV sit-downs or play the social media game in an era in which somebody like Ariana Grande spends much of the waking day interacting with her fans on Twitter and Instagram.

And while Malik has been open about some of his past struggles, including his battle with an eating disorder at the height of his One Direction fame and consistent difficulties with anxiety, they’re often revelations that feel accidental in nature. We learn of them during an unexpected moment of truth-telling between him and a journalist, the subject quickly changed soon after, or through lyrics that are just descriptive enough to imply deep truths. Even talking about his anxiety in an essay for Time Magazine felt like a necessary course-correction after a string of cancelled gigs led to unflattering rumours about his health in the press.

Whether Malik’s public persona is intended as a protective mask or not, it is still difficult, particularly in the wake of Icarus Falls, not to feel something for him. After all, his jump from a working-class kid to an international superstar worth a reported $50 million, practically overnight, is the sort of trajectory most of us would struggle with at the age of 40, let alone at 17 when Malik auditioned for The X Factor.

Icarus Falls doesn’t cover any new sonic ground for Malik as an artist. It sees him return to the same well of threadbare, silky R&B that helped Mind of Mine easily trounce his fellow One Direction bandmates in the “best first solo record” stakes. But it does whirr with a noticeable sadness, Malik repeatedly mourns the peace of his pre-X Factor past and beats himself up for mistakes he feels that he’s made since. And when he speaks of emotional pain, it often sounds not like something confined to history, but rather something he’s dealing with every day.

“I’d rather be anywhere but here,” he sings on Good Years. “I close my eyes and see a crowd of a thousand tears / I pray to God I didn’t waste all my good years.” On Insomnia: “I’ve been roaming and strolling all in the streets / Burning my eyes red, not slept for weeks.” On Back to Life: “I been flying so long / Can’t remember what it was like to be sober.” On Satisfaction: “Nobody said this would be easy / Nobody gave me a rule book to follow.”

Even typical love songs are fatalistic in nature, talk of Armageddon running through both Flight of the Stars (“I will follow / Hold you close standing on the edge of no tomorrow”) and Tonight (“Love me like tomorrow’s never gonna come”), while much of the album nods to an unnamed great love in Malik’s life that he needs to overcome incredible odds to be with – nothing new for love songs, but given a greater weight when paired with his statements over the years. Because if we know anything about Zayn Malik, it’s that he often can’t stand being Zayn Malik.

Through much of the little press he has done, Malik has expressed unease with most of the trappings of fame, particularly the assumptions that he ought to be personable and friendly with industry figures or musical collaborators. And when it comes to One Direction, he still appears burnt by the experience. While he told Vogue in November that he has recently been able to see his time with the band as “an amazing experience,” despite the “bulls---” of what he refers to as “the machine,” he also told GQ in June that he didn’t make any actual friends during the peak of his fame: “I definitely have issues trusting people.”

In the numerous articles that pop up every winter recalling how good The X Factor used to be, clips are embedded that showcase many of its most memorable contestants, and every year it becomes that bit more shocking how much One Direction looked like children during their time on the show. The scrawny limbs, those Justin Bieber haircuts, the awkward school-talent-show bopping and shuffling. It somehow worked, enough at least to turn them into a tween phenomenon, but in hindsight it’s indefensible that they were pushed as significantly as they were.

There was always something deer-in-the-headlights about the band in its early days, a sense that at least a few of them had been pulled along for the ride as opposed to having a firm grip on the steering wheel. The hunger so visible in pop bands of similar notoriety, whether manufactured or not, wasn’t always visible – and while all of them have transitioned into stable adults who are, for the most part, comfortable in the spotlight, their jarringly different responses to fame remain clear.

It’s important to remember, for context’s sake, that Malik was always a reluctant star. Only attending his original X Factor audition after being guilted by his mother into waking up early and making the journey there, he was, in his own words to The Fader, “a lazy teen”. And even during the audition stages, he expressed reluctance to properly join in, walking off stage during a choreography rehearsal and having to be coaxed to go back. At the time, Malik’s reaction registered as a petulant strop, but now feels oddly prescient.

Of Malik’s One Direction bandmates, Harry Styles was always the most naturally inclined to superstardom – such an affable schmoozer and networker that it was quickly no longer surprising to see images of him palling around with Mick Jagger or Stevie Nicks. Liam Payne always bore the personality of someone very eager to be seen, lack of self-awareness very much included, while the perpetually chipper Niall Horan has always simply appeared very, very happy to be there. But both Malik and Louis Tomlinson have often visibly struggled, uninspired by the more performative and fraudulent elements of celebrity, or the levels of attention handed to them by Simon Cowell and co.

“What I really can’t ever get used to, or really enjoy, are these super geared-up celebrity parties,” Tomlinson told Noisey last year. “No one actually cares. You see people who are beyond self-absorbed, and that’s why it can be a dangerous place.”

Malik has echoed similar sentiments. “I don’t work well in group situations, with loads of people staring at me,” he told GQ. “And when you say ‘star’… everyone wants you to be this kind of character that owns a room or is overly arrogant or confident. I’m not that guy, so I don’t want to be a star.”

What’s odd is that, for all his claims, Malik does bear all the superficial trappings of modern stardom. He’s a fashion darling but is permanently magnetised to the covers of cool indie magazines. Furthermore, his on-again/off-again relationship with supermodel Gigi Hadid has, since 2015, become a Generation Z equivalent of Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder in its aesthetic-heavy, era-defining popularity.

But Malik is also simultaneously detached. The GQ profile, his most extensive recent interview, bears all the hallmarks of a journalist struggling to fulfil a word count because of an uncommunicative subject, writer Carrie Battan even expresses Malik’s tendency to reply to her questions in “friendly but anodyne one-liners.” Like the very best of pop idols, from Britney to Beyoncé, Malik is so compelling principally because he’s so hard to read. But this can also be a poisoned chalice: every expression of doubt or self-pity determined to be a cry for help, every revelation shaping an image that may or may not be real.

It means that listening to Icarus Falls isn’t an entirely joyous experience, Malik’s lyrics painting a picture of a young man still working through the discomfort of his sudden fame and the trauma of a moment in the spotlight marred by illness and fractured relationships, many of its scars still visible today. But it’s also a record that you can’t help but admire as a result, especially if it serves as a form of catharsis for him.

In the decade since Britney Spears was forcibly taken to the hospital surrounded by hundreds of paparazzi photographers, our collective relationship with the idea of fame has greatly altered, particularly for a generation who watched Amy Winehouse essentially die before their eyes. The one beneath them are currently coming to terms with a raft of recent pop star crises, from Demi Lovato’s overdose to the deaths of artists like Mac Miller and Lil Peep.

For all the obvious charms in Malik’s life, from his incredible fortune to a kind of artistic freedom that he never had in One Direction, you’d have to be particularly cold not to feel empathy for the sheer strangeness of his adult existence; a world of rampant, maddening attention that has historically led even the strongest of stars into tragedy.

The Zayn Malik of today is a little bruised, a little listless, his magazine profiles never complete without references to the cloud of marijuana smoke that lingers around him, or his need to lock himself away from the world. It doesn’t sound like the most ideal of outcomes for a man who calls himself a pop idol Icarus and sings with whispery detachment that he has “[flown] too close to the sun.” But we can only hope that it at least serves as a parachute.

[echodrops]

I was thinking of doing an English literature degree in university and was looking into the possibility of becoming a professor. I was wondering about the process of becoming a professor. As in, what type of further degree did you have to get and what was the course load like? Also what exactly does being a professor entail? Do you do research as well as lecturing? I’m sorry for bothering you with this, it’s just that you always explain things well and I don’t know any professors in real life.

Sure, I don’t mind answering these kinds of questions at all!

What type of further degree did you have to get and what was the course load like?

For reference, I have a Masters degree of Fine Arts (in Poetry) which is, for the moment, still considered a terminal degree in the creative writing field, although the Ph.D. is becoming super popular now.

In order to teach at the college level at any accredited institution, you must have a minimum of 18 graduate level credit hours in your chosen field. I.e., you would need at least 18 credits (about 2.5 semesters) of a graduate program in English in order to teach any English college-level courses.

In today’s market, it would be extremely difficult to get any full-time teaching position without having completed at least a Masters degree, so if you want to become a professor, plan on going to graduate school.

Some good news though: Many English graduate programs are generously to fully funded, which means that you’re a lot less likely to leave graduate school with crippling student loan debt than you would be if you went to graduate school in another field like business or medicine. Don’t go to a graduate school that isn’t covering a large portion of your tuition costs. If they don’t offer you good financial aid, just say no thanks!

In terms of what degree you should pursue specifically, that depends on your interest, but three degrees that feed directly into English professor positions, in order of most likely to be hired, are:

Master in Rhetoric and Composition (this is the most likely to get you a job, but personally I would have found a degree like this boring as dirt)

Master in Literature (if you like analyzing other people’s writing, this is where you go; this degree is a double-edged sword though. You can specialize here and get into some really, really niche stuff that you love to death–but if no schools out there need your niche literary background, you may be a less appealing job candidate than the Rhet/Comp person above)

Master in Creative Writing/Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing (if you like writing your own stuff, this is the route to go; you will come out of this kind of program fully qualified to teach general English courses. Double-edged sword again though–EVERY school needs people who are experienced in teaching English 101… Not every schools needs someone experienced in teaching, say… Introduction to Poetry)

Course load in graduate programs is more tolerable than undergraduate programs. 12 credits is the minimum to qualify as full-time in undergrad, while 9 is considered full-time for most grad programs. You’ll take fewer classes to get a Master’s degree than an Bachelor’s.

That said, be ready for a completely different vibe and expectation level. People who go to grad school aren’t fucking around. Someone in my program got a B in one of our classes and that was enough to put her on academic probation. My friend, who also went to grad school for English, got an A- that she STILL feels guilty about to this day. So it’s less classes, but the expectation is that you will bring your absolute highest effort to the table in each class and engage fully with the material. (To be honest though, I feel like a lot of graduate-level professors are more chill than undergrad professors; there were “A” grades I worked A LOT harder for in undergrad than some of the “A”s I got in grad school.)

Also what exactly does being a professor entail? Do you do research as well as lecturing?

I’d say there are six general parts to the day-to-day job of a professor:

1) Prep. This is getting your courses ready: writing lectures, building activities, creating homework assignments, building your syllabi, picking readings, designing discussions, etc. This takes a fuck ton more time than you will ever want it to, and you always tell yourself after you get the class done once you’ll never have to do it again, but that’s a lie, because you will find yourself updating and changing things every single semester. Your mandatory “office hours” are basically just prep time since, no matter how much you beg them, students will rarely take advantage of your office hours unless you bribe or force them.

2) Actually teaching. This is your time spent in the classroom. The LEAST time-consuming part of your job. For every hour you actually spend in the classroom, expect to spend 154680060 hours doing outside stuff like grading. If you’re confident in front of crowds, this part is the easiest thing about being a teacher. If you want to get good at the actual “teaching” part of being a professor, take drama classes. Good teachers project confidence and energy at all times in the classroom, and drama teaches you how to do this much better than any public speaking class can.

3) Grading. Hell itself. It never ends. 9/10ths of your job as an English professor is just this. I envy the professors who are out of shits to give and just circle bubbles on a rubric, but I am not that person and so I comment extensively on every single one of the assignments for every single one of my students. If you’re up at 3am in the morning, it’s probably because of this!

4) Dealing with students on a personal level. The scariest part of the job. College is an extremely stressful time in a lot of young people’s lives, and especially if you are not teaching in a rich neighborhood, your students may be experiencing very significant personal, familial, financial, etc. difficulties that severely impact their mental health and well-being. You will encounter situations that you would never expect–students bursting into tears in the middle of class, students coming into your office and telling you they’re contemplating suicide, hearing graphic stories about the students’ abusive backgrounds, and being asked directly for help in situations that are completely outside of your experience level. Because there’s such an incredible stigma against therapists, many students will bring serious mental health issues to their professors long before they would ever consider going to the school’s counseling services.

5) Committees. Dear god. The committees never end. As part of your contract at most institutions, you will be expected to be performing service to the college, aka serving on committees and task forces to do all manner of things. If you’re lucky, you can get on committees you actually care about, with coworkers you like, and then they are fun. If you’re unlucky, you get “voluntold” (aka forcibly placed) on a bunch of committees that you feel completely unpassionate about and you’ll just have to deal until they complete their purpose or fizzle out. The amount of time you put into the committee has no correlation to the amount of work the committee actually gets done.

6) Research and professional development. In the .0002 minutes you have left each week, you will either be required (if you’re at a research institution) or highly encouraged to complete research, publication writing, and professional development activities. At my institution, research is highly encouraged and publication is a sure way to get in good with administration, but professional development is required, i.e. we have to participate in conferences or development trainings throughout the year to demonstrate continued efforts to discover and employ best teaching practices. This is usually a fun part, but you will never, ever have enough time for it.

The path to becoming a professor–some advice:

If you are not yet in college, pick your college based on a combination of three factors: 1) financial aid, obviously; 2) the robustness of their English department (i.e., do they have a Writing Center you could tutor at or other internship opportunities? Do they have a chapter of Sigma Tau Delta, the English honor society? Do they send undergrads to conferences? Do they have department events like essay contests and/or writing clubs? Search the school website thoroughly for info on their department--or better yet, call and talk to them); 3) the courses taught (you should be able to access the school’s complete course catalog before applying. If you read over every course the English department offers and none of them interest you, then obviously that’s not the school for you).

If you are already in college, look for opportunities that will make your grad school applications stand out–try to get a job as a writing tutor, join the English honor society, join/sponsor a writing or book club, be on the staff of your school’s literary journal, submit your work (including essays, why not) to other literary journals, take part in any competitions you can, etc. Strong involvement in your English department will make your application to graduate programs shine.

Consider planning for a day-job after grad school, at least for a couple years. The more English experience you have on your resume, the more likely you are to earn a full-time teaching position. Landing a tenure track job right out of grad school is tragically uncommon. Plan on adjuncting for a few years to get some college-level teaching experience under your belt. It’s common for adjunct professors to teach a few classes as a side-job while they do other work, such as freelance editing, to bring home the real money. Then you can translate your courses taught as an adjunct into years of experience when you are applying for full-time positions!

Phew, sorry if that was longer than you expected!