#This took me probably almost an hour and a half to type (though I can't be sure because I had to get up and take care of other things a

[deadsince1973]

What happened to Despicable Me?

(SPOILERS for Despicable Me 4 ahead)

I went to see Despicable Me 4 today, and it was easily the worst of the franchise.

I think there were two overlapping problems. The first one is that there were too many characters and too many storylines, and they all felt truncated. The second is that the storylines themselves, truncated or not, were bad. Let's look at the storylines that we got.

First, the big point of this movie: Gru has a baby son now. The arc with the baby is that the baby doesn't like Gru, but then by the end, the baby learns to love his father. That is such a stupid storyline! Babies are not capable of determining who they like and who they dislike. That's just not how that stage of brain development works. I admit, I may not be the target audience of this movie (even though I should be; more on the below), but babies in movies are, in my opinion, annoying, and not at all cute or funny. I heard once that "all animals in movies act like dogs", and not just real dogs, but like idealized versions of dogs, who can think and emote like humans. I actually love that trope, because I love the fantasy that my pets or an exotic pet it would be cool to have could be a true friend to me, as an equal who could understand me and respond to me with intelligence and insight. I can only speculate that many people enjoy having the same fantasy about babies; all I'm certain of is that this storyline did not work for me at all.

Then there's the cluster of storylines making up the premise that Gru's family is now in witness protection. -Margot is upset about leaving her friends and having to start at a new school. She gets bullied on her first day. And that is the last we hear about that. -Edith and Agnes go to a karate class. (For the entire day? Why didn't Edith have to go to school?) She breaks the teacher's toe. And that's the last we hear about that. -Agnes is upset about having to leave Lucky, her pet unicorn/goat from Despicable Me 3. That does get wrapped up in the end, but it's absent from the middle of the movie. It's not even really an arc or a storyline, more a callback to the last movie. -Agnes is also upset about having to use a fake name in witness protection, because that's lying and she doesn't want to lie. That's potentially a good storyline because it would result in actual character growth, but it also goes nowhere! Agnes never uses her fake name, and that has no consequences (other than setting up Edith's story). -Lucy's new identity is a hairdresser, and she burns down the salon while working with her first client. The client later tries to chase her down in the grocery store for the sake of a wacky chase scene. Lucy and the girls escape, and we never hear from the injured client again. -Gru wants to make friends with his new neighbor in order to prove that he's not awkward. He plays tennis with the neighbor, but the game is interrupted by the arrival of the antagonist. The neighbor is never seen again.

Even though there isn't even enough room in the movie for all the family members, they still added a new character, Poppy. Poppy is the neighbor's teenage daughter and an aspiring supervillain who blackmails Gru into helping with a heist. Why? What does that have to do with either of the main two plots? (It does tie in with them, but it was entirely unnecessary to them.) Poppy later makes friends with Gru's daughters, but then she disappears during the climax, and she's only seen again during the ending montage, when we see that she got admitted to the villain school. What happened to her pet honey badger? We'll never know.

The A-plot, the one that's set up in the first scene, the one that drives Gru and his family into witness protection, the one that the movie ends on, is about Gru's high school bully. Really though, other than being the catalyst for putting Gru's family in witness protection, he has precious little role in the story. There's a reason this story is so far down the list. There's also yet another new character, Principal Ubelschlect. She's the boss fight of the heist Gru and Poppy do together, but, since the heist was pointless, she's a pointless character too. (This is how Poppy technically ties into both of the main storylines, by the way. Gru brought his son along on his heist, so the heist related to the bonding arc Gru had with him. But the heist was not the catalyst for the baby finally bonding with Gru, so what was the point of bringing the baby along at all?! And when the heist goes awry and Principal Ubelschlecht catches them in the act, she contacts the bully to join her in attacking Gru's safehouse. But there are any number of ways that the bully could have found Gru's location without making a whole other involved storyline that rivaled the main storyline for screen time! That should have been a single story beat, not a lengthy sequence.)

Of course, there are also the cutaways to the minions' wacky antics. This is why I say I should have been the target audience for this movie. I love the minions. Obviously this is a very small sample size, but it seemed to me that I laughed more at the minions in this movie than anyone else in the theater. I mean, if that's an accurate perception, then why were any of those other people even going to see this movie? Despicable Me is the minion franchise. If you don't like minions, this movie isn't for you. And if you do like minions, then this movie should be for you. Anyway, they split the minions into two groups for this movie: exactly the same symptom as the rest of the characters had! One group had a recurring gag about a minion being stuck in a vending machine. Okay, that doesn't need to be that developed. But it was entirely unrelated to the other minions' storyline, which felt weird! The other minions' storyline was the "Mega Minions", the ones in the promotional material. This storyline was about five minions who got superpowers and tried to become superheroes. It had nothing to do with any other plotline whatsoever. It felt a little bit like a retread of the mutated purple minions from the second movie, but the mutated minions actually connected to the main story of that movie!

Altogether, this movie just felt cobbled together from a bunch of disparate ideas. The animation felt as good to me as ever, but the writing and the design felt like it was rushed out the door. It felt like a bunch of people had got asked to write an idea for a funny thing to do with the characters from this franchise, and then they just put a bunch of those ideas in without considering how they would weave together into a single coherent movie.

And all of this is just my analysis of the problems with the stories. It doesn't address some of the other, smaller problems I had with the movie. -The baby was named Gru, Jr. I HATE when characters have a baby and they name one of them "Junior". Not only does it smack of a lack of creativity, but it also really shows how little the writers value the character. This might seem a little hypocritical after I implied above that babies aren't even human and complained about how there shouldn't have been so much of the baby in the movie, but I think calling a baby "Junior" exacerbates the problem. It's implicitly telling me, the viewer, not to care about this character as his own person, but to think of him as an extension of his father. Why should I care about him then?

Speaking of wanting less of the baby in the movie, I just want to add that part of the reason why I dared to have higher hopes for this movie despite the presence of the baby in the marketing is because of the Shrek movies. A friend of mine told me the other day that they had noped out of the Shrek franchise when babies became involved because they feel the exact same way I do about babies in media. But I don't really think that's fair. Shrek the Third and Shrek Forever After did an admirable job of keeping the babies on the periphery. I'm just bringing this up to say that that was very much an option for this movie too. They could've had their cake and eaten it too.

Almost as criminal as the poor writing was the poor design. The main villain, the bully, was cockroach-themed. That's not bad, per se, but compare him to the villains from previous films: Vector, who had both direction and magnitude (how memorable was that line?!); El Macho and his pet chicken; Bratt and his 1980's theming; Scarlet, with her feminist bent and perky personality, and her husband Herb who was delightfully 1960's; and the Vicious 6, all of whom had amusing puns for names: Jean-Clawed, Nun-Chuck, and Svengeance being the stand-outs for me. I guess, on paper, a cockroach theme isn't any worse than any of these other villains, but Maxime really had nothing else going for him other than his French accent. He didn't have a funny name, he didn't have an over-the-top personality, and he didn't have a particularly memorable style.

Finally, and here's where I'm fine with being disagreed with because it's just a matter of taste, but: as a general rule, I don't like bathroom humor in kid's movies. There were two jokes that were just about an animal pooing, and, worst of all in my opinion, was one of the English words in the Minionese. My friend and I had been discussing whether the one Mega Minion had "a cone head" or "was a missile." Well, one of the other minions shouted "suppository" when it jumped off a rooftop. So that clears that argument up. -_-

I just think this is a real shame because, while the other movies weren't flawless (except possibly for Minions), they all had a charm to them and at least a few good jokes. I'm also the type of person to find the storylines of Despicable Me 2 and 3 painful, but at least there were enough moments that I found sweet or endearing in those movies that I still enjoyed them more than I expected I would. This was the opposite, because the only moment I found charming at all was when the camera did a fly-through of the AVL office and we saw the minions participating in a wide variety of activities. I'm always a sucker for that.

This honestly makes me reluctant to hope for a future for this franchise. :/

[xinganhao]

🫀 svt when you ask them "do you like me?"

anon → "svt texts + asking "do you like me?" to the members when you know they have a crush on you? <3"

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: [implied] svt confessions, svt crushing on reader, fluff, headcanons under the cut.

🫀 headcanons .ᐟ

seungcheol wouldn't even bother to be discreet about it. he'll immediately goes for the kill i.e. asking you out, assuming your question is you making a move. he'll smirk at you and say something along the lines of "took you long enough to notice" when you go on your first date.

jeonghan would initially try to joke around it, only to feel bad. he doesn't always immediately know when it's time to joke and when it's time to be serious. if you give him a 'redo', he'll take some time to respond, but he'll eventually come clean and then would probably proceed to downplay it. "it's just a crush. no biggie."

joshua would take this very, very seriously, in the sense that he would not want to have this conversation over text. when you meet in person, he's a bit shy but there's no mistaking his sincerity. "i really do like you," he'll say sweetly. "and i want to do something about it, if that's okay with you?"

junhui doesn't play around, especially when it comes to his feelings about you. he's blunt in a way that's uniquely him— almost a little exasperated that you're trying to fish the answer from him. when he eventually does confess, he's so cool about it, like he can't believe you not knowing. "i told you it was obvious, didn't i?"

soonyoung is the type who doesn't immediately register what's happening. maybe he just woke up. maybe he just had a particularly grueling day of practice. either way, he'll only properly answer your question hours later. "i thought i missed my chance," he'll huff. "you can't just do that to a guy—"

wonwoo is masterfully, perfectly evasive about his feelings. he borders nonchalant, even, and anyone who didn't know him well would assume that he doesn't actually like you at all. but the truth is, he's just waiting for the right moment. "i wasn't about to play in to your little charade when i've wanted you for as long as i have," he'll tell you.

jihoon doesn't really hesitate to admit his feelings, though it's very matter-of-fact. he doesn't want to hide it but he's also conscious of how you might receive his feelings. whether he'll do something or not is up in the air, but he's always in the business of telling the truth. "of course i like you. why wouldn't i?"

mingyu would definitely tease you if you attempt to wheedle the answer out of him. it's all half-jokes, his jabs of the depth of his feelings. he means it when he says you have to be ready for his real answer. "i think you'd run," he'd muse. "if you knew just how whipped i am for you."

seokmin had a plan. he really did! he'd get genuinely upset that he's thrown off his game, because he had the picture perfect confession that would put all your favorite dramas to shame. he pouts a bit over it and asks if he can still do it. "you deserve the perfect confession, and i'm going to deliver!"

minghao panics. it's not like him to, considering how cool he usually is, so he chugs a pot of tea and meditates until he remembers he actually has to respond to you. he's a little vague when he answers, but there's an underlying promise that the feelings are there— just waiting to be spoken in to existence. "i want to be sure," he'll say softly. "i need to be."

seungkwan would beat around the bush. he's definitely thrown off by the sudden question and the prospect of confessing over text, of all places. you can imagine him nervously pacing his apartment on his side of the phone. "this happened way differently in my head. maybe in a café or something, argh!"

vernon doesn't take you seriously, initially, thinking it's just another one of those cases where the two of you are messing around. but, hours later, he has a bit of a huh moment. when he realizes you'd been looking for an answer, he doesn't hesitate to give it to you. "no point in hiding."

you would think chan is being vague about his answer, when he's really trying his best to not panic. he's the most likely to change the topic on you in a desperate attempt to regain his bearings. he'll confess not long after, acting a little petulant at your attempted teasing. "i wanted to do this on my own terms," he'll say. "so, here it is— i like you, alright? there."

[ghostphobic]

what if reader knew a little how to surf? and, when surfer!abby finds out, they start playing and fighting in the water and then their heads collide, giggling and all, and their lips are so close.. 😞🫂

this is soooo insanely late im so sorry anon ive had sooo much going on skmfkg... BUTTTT ur a geniussss omg. i hope i did ur idea justice ! i think reader is definitely the type to fake being completely clueless about surfing just to get a little extra hands on time with abby.

it's not like you're a prodigy or anything, you really only know the absolute bare minimum— how to stand up and how to balance for a few seconds, but it's not like you're able to do either of those things for long on an actual wave.

abby had offered to teach you the basics one night, and who were you to tell her no? she'd started her lessons with you on the sand, instructing you on where to put your hands and your feet on somewhere solid ground before she took you into the water. her hands on your waist, arms, and occasionally your legs to help you position yourself better. it had all been apart of your master plan, but that doesn't mean heat hadn't risen to your cheeks at every touch and little "there you go. i knew you could do it." that leaves her mouth.

after about a half an hour of teaching you on the sand, she finally decides to take it into the water. "it's probably gonna be a bit harder in the water, but i know you'll pick it up in no time." she says, an encouraging smile on her face. her unwavering support almost makes you feel bad.

almost.

you paddle out just a bit into the water with her swimming alongside you. "alright. why don't you try standing up?" she says, swimming back just enough to give you space.

you already know how to do this. palms on the board, push yourself up in something that resembles a plank, bring your back foot forward so it's aligned with your knee, then bring your other knee forward to rest in between your arms, and stand.

you do it easily, not struggling in the slightest. you turn to look at abby, wondering why she's quiet instead of cheering you on for getting it on your "first try". you're met with her staring at you— brows furrowed, eyes flickering with amusement, and the corner of her mouth tilted up in the beginning of a smile.

"what?" you ask.

"you've known how to do this the whole time haven't you?"

"miss anderson, im afraid i don't know what you mean."

"a pretty girl being so obsessed with me that she has me teach her things she already knows how to do, just so she can spend a little time with me? and i thought my ego couldn't get any bigger." the tilt at the corner of her mouth has morphed into a shit-eating grin.

her ego really can't get any bigger, but she'd be lying if she said her heart didn't feel like it was about to start beating out of her chest right now.

"oh you little—" you start, but before you can finish your sentence she's pushed you off the board and into the water.

you don't immediately pop back up, which causes her to worry. just when she's about to call your name, she feels your hands grip her legs and pull her underwater.

she opens her eyes to look at you under the water, and though you can't make many facial expressions because you're trying to hold your breath, she doesn't miss the amused look in your eyes.

she tries to swim back up, but your legs have locked around hers in an effort to keep her under. she points up the surface and you shake your head, tapping yourself on the arm as if to say 'tap out and i'll let you go.'

her stubbornness level is high right now but her need to take a breath is even higher, so she taps your arm and you immediately let go.

she swims up first and you're right behind her. both of you inhale largely when you reach the surface, but that's followed up by both of you breaking out in laughter.

your hands are on each other's arms and shoulders, an unconscious gesture that can only be chalked up to a mutual 'i'm okay. are you okay?' you don't realize just how close your faces are to each other until the laughter dies down, and suddenly you're both very serious.

the moment is perfect. the moon is full and bright tonight, the water is calm, and there's nobody on the shore. abby doesn't know whether you're going to kiss her or she's going to kiss you. when she sees that you look incredibly nervous she decides to take the reigns, lips pressing against yours.

it's not an overly long kiss nor is there anything sexual to it, it's soft and intimate and it causes both of your hearts to pound against your chest. and it's enough for both of you to realize just how much you both like each other without going too fast all at once.

"you know," you say as the two of you part. "i think you're a major hypocrite."

"how so?" she asks, voice filled with amusement.

"maybe i did lie today to spend time with you, but that was just once." her brows furrow a bit as you push yourself away from her just a little bit. "at least i haven't been paying for smoothies i don't like just because the pretty worker recommended them."

you don't wait for her reaction and immediately start swimming back to the shore, completely oblivious to the way she's staring at you in disbelief.

'son of a bitch...' is her final thought before she starts swimming after you.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

My natural drug ~ Kappa x fem reader ~ Part.2

warning : +18 minors don't interact, smut, shibari, use of rope, rope play, p in v, kissing, cuddle, use of drugs, implied/referenced high (on weed), marking/biting, cult leader, reader is female, fluff, comfort, alcohol, no use of Y/n

Part.1

masterlist

Info : It's finally done and I could not be more proud of myself the smut was fun and a little challeging to write but for him always. In general this whole thing is longer than I had planned it but writing is writing and I just love it. I hope you have fun while reading it and see you next time ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At some point, the ticking of the clock seemed barely audible to her. It blended too much with the radio, which was still playing. The bell on the door, however, had stopped ringing after the visit of the mysterious man. The whole shop was filled with the ticking of the clock and the radio.

As well as the same rapid typing of her fingers from the calculator. The young woman had been trying to deal with the calculations for the last two hours and not be distracted by the clock or the noise.

Although she was normally quick with the calculator and knew how to enter the evening's income, she only made a mistake today. This can't be right, she thought and deleted the numbers again, which were far too high to start again.

But no sooner had she started again than her eyes glanced at the piece of paper lying next to her, just waiting for her to take it in her hands again. Sighing, she looked at the clock and saw that she still had an hour.

She still had an hour to kill before she could storm out of here. Pulling herself together, she finished the bills before she picked up the paper again, almost feeling better. She read the number and the place over and over again. But she didn't dare call the number.

Maybe it was a wrong number, or maybe he just wanted to take the piss out of her. But even though she had already entered the numbers, she did not dare to call again. What if he doesn't want to see me? she asked herself, pursing her lip before pushing the phone away and trying to distract herself with some work.

Which only ended in her almost knocking over a shelf after she remembered that the shop also sold tickets for the place. Almost running to the cash register again as if her life depended on it, which in a way it did, because she had long since given up the idea of going home.

She had more important things to do and that was to see him again. Next to the newspaper dispenser there was a small box with cards and flyers where she took out the card and spread it out on the table. ,,Where are you?" she mumbled and read the address from the card again before running her finger over it.

After a few moments, however, she found the address, which was just outside the city. Why don't you go home and get the car first? she planned her trip there and stuffed the map into her pocket before she started to turn the map between her fingers again.

But her gaze dared not go to the shelf where she stood with him. Where he had tied her up, pulled her to him and she had never been so seriously fixated on a man as she was with him. ,,Fuck" she muttered as she felt the heat come back to her cheeks and the butterflies flutter in her stomach.

Just not enough sex, she thought to herself and tried to convince herself, but it only made less sense for the plan she had. But she was sure that he wanted it just as much as she did.

Not to mention that she had probably been counting on the shop and the story of the earth as he had called it and she wanted to find out what he meant. ,,Or the drugs have clouded his mind," she murmured and giggled as she thought of her experiences with the stuff, even though she was sure he had definitely taken some.

Not that she herself had been high for one or two shifts here in the shop and had only worked half of it properly and then fallen asleep. Only with him it made him seem incredibly engaging and attractive, she thought, and looked at the clock again. Seeing that there was still a quarter of an hour to go, she slowly prepared to close up.

Changing and putting her uniform back in the locker, she took the key and looked around the shop one last time before taking the slip of paper and locking up. As soon as the shop was closed and she had checked it, she started running back to her flat to get into her parked car.

Breathing easy from the run, she unlocked her flat and grabbed her car keys. Taking a quick glance in the mirror but seeing nothing but a nervous yet excited look she hurried out of her flat and almost jumped into her car.

Spreading out the map again, she picked her best route and started the engine before beginning to drive the route. You can always turn back, she heard her inner voice say as she reached the edge of the city after a few minutes and soon came to the more remote part of the forest.

But her fingers were tapping the steering wheel too nervously, her heart was beating too fast for her not to be curious. And the tingling in her stomach did not stop.

She wanted to go there, she wanted to go to that place and she wanted to go to him. To see if there was more behind his words, if he was more than just the world saviour. Or if she was completely wrong.

But the way he spoke of the ropes, his fingers running over her body, no she couldn't be wrong he seemed to have the same intentions. Glancing at the map, she saw at least the road she had to take to get to the forest. ,,Maybe I'll be murdered too," she muttered and thought about turning the steering wheel.

But she decided against it, she wanted to find out what he was up to. Besides, the image of the ropes and his voice never left her mind and only seemed to bring her closer to him. A few minutes further through the forest, she soon arrived at a clearing and was surprised to find a house.

A house that wasn't a shack and didn't look like she would be murdered if she went inside. It was a large house with at least two floors, as if someone had simply pulled it out of a catalogue and put it there. ,,How did this get here?" she mumbled in confusion and got out of her car.

Looking around one last time as if she were doing something forbidden, she walked towards the house. Where she stopped in front of the door and looked at the note one last time and inhaled and exhaled deeply to ring the bell. Her hands seemed to cling to the note as if it were the last safe point.

Turning her gaze back to the door, it opened and she saw the black-haired stranger standing in front of her. ,,Flower you have found me...I am Kappa" he introduced himself and bowed slightly before taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

Before he looked at her from his lower position and tilted his head slightly when he saw her embarrassed look. ,,Come in blossom," he murmured and opened the door fully before returning to an upright position and closing the door behind her.

She had landed in the drug den and the big bad wolf seemed to be just waiting for his little flower, Little Red Riding Hood, to finally give in.

Looking around, she saw the colourful furnishings that seemed to have been put together from all kinds of things. As if he had simply bought everything he liked. A feeling of freedom and yet not falling out of society. But still, somehow it looked good. ,,This is an amazing house," she told him, watching him slowly turn around as if seeing its interior for the first time.

She watched him and saw that his clothes had not changed, his necklace still shone in the light, as did his rings. His dark strands of hair flew lightly in his face as he smirked. A hint of madness seemed to settle in his gaze for a moment before she saw that his pupils were slightly dilated.

Were they like this before? she asked herself, but the slightly sweet smell in the surroundings told her that he had the drugs here. ,,And you, my sweet, are an interesting guest," he decided, and she watched him disappear into an adjoining room. ,,You are an interesting host," she murmured and looked around as much as she thought was decent.

She went to the large couch that could hold a small group, in the middle of which stood the table on which she found not only the cause of the sweet smell but also more than just a bottle of alcohol and a few magazines and books.

Ignoring the drug for the moment, she picked up one of the books and flipped through the pages. ,,The nature of carnal desire" she muttered as she read the title of the chapter and continued to flip through but quickly found out exactly what kind of book it was. A Kama Sutra on drugs, she thought, smiling slightly as she looked at the different positions.

Some of them she knew, some she had even tried herself, but with some she felt her curiosity coming out. ,,I see you have found the source of the beginning," she suddenly heard his voice behind her and she turned around, slightly startled. Still holding the book in her hands, she saw that he was holding two drinks in his hands.

Feeling slightly caught, her heart beat faster before she put the book back and took one of the drinks from him. ,,I-I was just looking...but nature I mean it's in all of us" she philosophised lightly and took a sip of the sweetish mix he had added a small cherry. A nice extra.

He smiled at her words and took the book himself. Flipping through the pages and taking a sip of his drink every now and then. ,,You're right my flower...nature, the naturalness of man, it's in all of us" he began and put the book back on the table before he seemed to find something in his slightly foggy mind.

Something that made him smile before he took her hand and pulled his guest behind him. The house was bigger than she thought when she saw the stairs leading down to the basement as well as upstairs. ,,Is this your family?" she asked as she looked at the photo on a dresser and saw Kappa with three other people.

They were all holding a pill and seemed very excited about the drug trip. She heard him smirk as he took the picture in his hand and ran it over each person. ,,You can call it a family or a group, a cult and so on...they are my followers who believe in the truth," he told her and she felt her interest in his cause grow.

This truth he was talking about, the nature, the lust. It didn't just sound exciting, it meant not just having a small community, she would be with him too. A cult of nature she thought with a grin before he took her hand again and led her further through the house before going up the stairs.

She felt the alcohol of the drink slowly pass through her body, the feeling of lightness slowly becoming clear. She also realised that he was still holding her hand and not letting go.

When they reached the upper floor, it was not very different from the lower floor. Colourful pictures, mobeliar which seemed expensive and yet somehow messy or just some drugs lying around and easy to take. ,,Your group this nature it sounded interesting...what exactly do you mean by that?" she asked and saw him walking through the upper area. He looked around and the small smile on his lips grew.

He seemed to find what he needed as he took a joint out of a glass box. ,,It is, even if the others aren't here right now. What we did had to be...you want to know what?" he asked in answer to her question. She swallowed, but whether it was discomfort or just curiosity and the fact that they were really alone. But the curiosity about what he could tell her outweighed it.

Maybe it was the alcohol? Maybe it was her bored future? Or maybe she just didn't want to forget him and lose herself in him because he seemed so attractive. It didn't matter, she was here, so she might as well make something of it.

She drained her drink in one go and put the glass on the table before searching in her trousers for her lighter and holding it out to him. ,,Thank you," she muttered, lighting his joint and taking a drag. Before blowing the smoke at her and watching her.

He seemed pleased that she didn't pull back. But before he could take another drag, she took it from him and took a drag herself. He had to answer her. ,,Me and my friends-no, everyone knows the man in the moon up there," he said, pointing upwards with his hand and looking up as if he could just see the moon.

She knew what he meant, knew that there was a man in the moon, knew exactly what he was talking about. ,,It's an abomination, it defies nature. Not even being in space, which is so infinite, no," he continued, shaking his head at her, watching him sigh as if he wanted to communicate his disgust at this even more clearly. Space was infinite and beautiful in her eyes, the images and exploration were impressive.

But living it was wrong. We are not made for that, she thought and nodded in agreement. ,,But we are not made to live there, no we are not, it goes against nature just like this mechanical robot something. It's not human, it's an abomination...that me and my friends have taken care of," he continued and took the joint back before making a satisfied sound. It slowly became clear to her what he meant, the things he had bought made sense. Did he do it? she asked and continued to watch him.

But nothing but attraction came to her. ,,Natural selection" she murmured and felt him pull her closer, resting his forehead against hers and looking at her with pleasure before he murmured, ,,Exactly...natural selection". In her mind she went back and forth between calling the police or thanking him.

But she did, she agreed with him one shouldn't have a human up in space, a machine on the ground with children. To procreate. ,,There will be consequences," she said the obvious and he moved away with a nod.

But his expression did not seem worried, rather pleased and open. ,,Yes, consequences that my word spreads, it's only natural that this should happen," he said, stubbing out the almost smoked drug before looking around one last time and seeming to wait.

Waiting for her reaction, to see if she was who he thought she was. Nodding in understanding, the things he had bought flashed back into her mind and the tingling of her skin told her she remembered the ropes clearly.

She remembered what she had felt. ,,Do you still have the ropes?" she murmured, almost startled when he whirled around to her and grabbed her hand, almost gleefully, before saying, ,,I knew you liked it, my flower".

Cute was the word she associated with him when she saw the excited look in his eyes, the happy gleam in his eyes and the broad smile. Damn cute. Before he pulled her behind him again through the room to a door where he disappeared with her.

A large bedroom appeared, the bed consisted of several mattresses with blankets and pillows lying on them. "Like a king-size bed" she thought with a grin and let her eyes wander, seeing the hook on the ceiling and the dresser on which various things were lying. It's not the first time he's done it, she smirked, watching Kappa pick out a photo album and sit down on the big bed. Before he looked at her and gestured for her to sit with him.

She made a surprised noise when she saw the photos. Among other group photos showing nice moments between friends, there were photos taken here in this room. It was like art somehow. The individual members tied up whether hanging from the ceiling or standing on the bed or sitting.

There were different designs running over the bodies of the people. Some naked, some dressed, but they all looked handsome in it. It was fascinating. ,,Beautiful," she murmured when she saw Kapp in one of the pictures, his gaze clearly veiled in lust, a rope stretching across his body and ending on his torso. His slightly dishevelled hair contrasted with the rope that constrained her.

This feeling of power emanating from him out of his self-confidence was not gone, he was handsome. Despite this position, there was something submissive about him that aroused her curiosity. Looking at him she saw the pink shade on his cheeks, he didn't seem to be ashamed of what he and his friends were doing.

He didn't have to be if what they were doing was art driven by inner lust. ,,You would look beautiful too, my star," he purred, looking from the photo to her as if he already had a clear idea of how he wanted her to look. ,,I know you liked it, you had that look... that's why you came here, to see me, isn't it?" he chuckled amusedly when he saw her caught expression before he took the photo album aside and walked over to the ropes lying on the dresser.

As if she had lost her voice, she just nodded as if completely out of it, which was not only due to the drugs. Walking to her, he pulled her back to her feet and walked around her looking at her.

She felt his hands moving over her body and back to his rope. ,,You want to try it out, don't you flower?" he asked the obvious, just holding out her arms to him. The answer was enough for him. Let him know that he could finally turn his fascination with her into art. ,,I knew you would, good girl," he praised before he took the last steps between them and finally kissed her.

Finally daring to take the step to let the two sides collide. The kiss was deep, she felt his hands on her body, pulling her closer, pressing her against him as if he wanted to touch and look at every part of her body. His giggle reached her ears and it made her giggle too as she took in his happiness. Her excitement seemed to move him too as his hands moved to her top.

Undressing her, she stood in front of him in her pants and bra, seeing his rapt look as he tilted his head slightly and smirked. ,,Little flowers" he murmured and his fingers traced the flowers on her bra. From the straps to the underwire, his gentle almost careful touch sent a tingle through her body. She knew he felt her nipples harden, his smirk saying more than he needed to.

Reaching around her, she felt his fingers on the clasp of her bra before she pulled the garment off. Letting it slide carelessly to the floor, her hands went to his dark top and pulled it over his head before tossing it carelessly into the room. His warmth was attractive and as he stood there she felt the tingle in her belly. He looked more than good.

Angel-like, she thought, with his longer dark hair falling into his face, his almost delicate but well-built torso that suited him. Her fingers grasped the necklace and pulled it slightly towards her so that she could look at the dark red stone. ,,You are beautiful," he sighed, watching in fascination as she finally stripped off the rest of her clothes and stood before him completely naked.

Briefly, shame passed through her mind and she covered her breasts with her hands, yet she was still naked in front of him. An uncomfortable fact that Kappa immediately saw in her behaviour.

To her surprise, he threw the rope onto the bed made up of the many mattresses, pillows and blankets before gently pushing her onto it before suddenly kneeling down in front of her. ,,Kappa, what are you doing?" she asked in surprise, looking at him slightly questioningly. But he only gave her an amused smile before he bent down and kissed his way up her leg.

She flinched in surprise, but he only gave her more kisses and compliments as he continued to kiss her body, caressing her with sweet, meaningless words that brought warmth to her face. ,,You are the true natural order and perfection" he murmured as he kissed his way down her belly before his fingers slid to hers and he kissed the back of her hand again and her hands slowly slid off her back. ,,Gorgeous," Kappa murmured as his words took effect and he placed his lips on her breasts.

Kissing the soft sensitive skin before she yelped as he bit into her sensitive nipples. She heard his smirk as she held onto him, not wanting him to let go of the feeling. Before she pulled him into another kiss, her fingers tangling in his hair and his hands touching her breasts.

She tugged lightly on one of the dark strands, heard him whimper, felt him break the kiss to stretch towards her touch. Saw his pupils still dilated with lust and love before she pulled him to her. His excited gasp disappeared in the kiss she evoked and deepened. He felt himself give up his control for a moment and surrender to her.

Before he broke away from her, said ,,I'll show you how artistic it looks" and reached for the rope which he began to place on her upper body. Full of tension and fascination, she felt the rope, which had a mixture of roughness and yet softness, pull itself over her upper body. ,,I'm going to make a barré belt," he explained his plan, even though she had no idea what it would look like or what he was doing, but she gave herself willingly to him.

She felt him start to wrap the rope around her waist first, the play of his fingers touching her and then the unusual rope before he pulled it tighter. Felt him tie the rope around her waist a few more times and adjust it. ,,You are doing good" he praised her even though she was just sitting still but for him she seemed to be everything in this matter.

Before she exhaled almost in surprise as the rope wrapped around her upper chest and a slightly unusual tightness slowly appeared. It was almost indescribable as a slightly tight bra or shirt. Before the rope pulled back over her shoulder to be reconnected by Kappa to the back.

Doing the same with the other side, he pulled her towards him with the rope, letting his hands run over her created work, not to mention her breasts, which were surrounded by the rope. ,,How is it?" he wanted to know, turning in a circle as if his trip was going to be especially good before he stopped suddenly and walked over to the dresser and took a camera. ,,It's...unfamiliar cramped but there's something about it that makes me feel like I like it," she explained, smiling slightly as she looked at the small mirror hanging on the wall and saw herself in the darkened room.

She liked it. She liked the tightness, the way the rope stretched over her body, framing her breasts and that little tension that was always on her. But also the way he looked at her, she saw nothing but desire, attraction and adoration in his eyes. Feelings that sent a wave of excitement and satisfaction through her body.

She was all the more surprised when the click of the camera reached her ears and she looked at Kappa who had started to photograph her. ,,Shit...sweetie you don't know how perfectly natural and erotic you look" he purred and took a picture of her from every possible angle.

With each photo he told her how good she looked, flattered her and was already planning to hang her pictures up in the house for all to see. Lolling on the bed in positions he wanted her to be in but also taking the initiative themselves, the two of them had fun being photographer and model in harmony.

With every picture she saw how excited, impatient and needy he became. It was arousing. ,,Come here" he murmured as he almost threw the camera on the dresser and hurried to her on the bed before undressing himself and wrapping her in a kiss.

She felt his hands running over the rope, exploring her body, running over her breast, pulling her hair slightly down to her hip where he held her. ,,You are beautiful my flower" he crooned as she fell backwards and he began to kiss and caress her body again.

While her own hands wandered over his body, feeling the warm skin and leaving red stripes on his back. She felt his arousal on her thigh and let her know that he was more than just aroused by her. ,,Somebody's excited" he joked and they laughed together at his bad comment before he grabbed her hand and led her to his chest. She felt his heartbeat as fast as hers.

The excitement that lay dormant in both of them fogged with the thought of touching each other, finally touching and loving each other. ,,I'm not leaving...not after all this," she said to him, straightening slightly before placing a hand on his cheek and stroking it gently, causing him to lean towards her.

For a moment he looked so hurt that it stung her heart. ,,Beautiful," she murmured before lying back on the soft ground, sighing as the rope moved ever so slightly and the arousal in her centre increased.

Before he kissed his way down her body, with each bite, lick, kiss and pinch, more and more excited sounds escaped her slightly open mouth. With each one, not only did his excitement increase, but he praised her for wanting to hear them and hear them in all their naturalness. Not to defy nature.

An excited yelp came from her as Kappa bit into the soft flesh of her thigh and licked it apologetically. ,,Cute, my heart," he chuckled and continued to bite and smooch until he reached her centre. She watched as he took a moment to place himself properly. Before his hands slid to hers, his eyes met hers and he gave her a slightly questioning look.

She knew what was coming, knew what he was going to do and she also knew that she had never been so sure about anything. Nodding at him, he squeezed her hand one last time before releasing her hand and placing it on her hip before entering her moments later. ,,Fuck" she gasped as her fingers scratched over his back as she took a moment to get used to him and his length and size.

But she didn't miss his gasp either, the gasp as his hands also trailed over her skin lost in the sensation. ,,Are you all right?" he asked after he had caught himself and his gaze went to her when he clearly felt her tension. She wanted to say something but it was interrupted by another gasp before she just nodded. She was all the more surprised when she felt his lips on her body again.

Slowly taking away her tension with each new art and making her forget any doubts. With every touch of her skin he seemed to want her more and more, with each of his kisses she only longed for him more. Wanting to have and feel more of him. ,,Just relax it feels good trust me" she heard him say and seemed to be completely taken out of reality when she felt Kappa start to move and she heard his pleasurable noises echoing around the room.

Each of his sounds not only went immediately to her centre she loved his voice, that softness and vulnerability it was beautiful. ,,I-I trust you," she gasped, pulling him slightly closer again while her one hand was still on his back, trailing strands with each wave of arousal that went through her body as he thrust.

She ran her other hand through his hair, grasping the strands and releasing them, only to have Kappa hold on to them again and pull them, only to have Kappa acknowledge this again with a lustful, devoted noise. Before they both found a rhythm that was most pleasurable for both of them, which was supported not least by her touching him.

But her legs also closed around his waist, pulling him towards her, and she heard a surprised gasp before his thrusts increased, the sensation he was getting stronger from her to feel or receive even more. ,,You are so beautiful," she heard his choppy murmur before she felt his lips on hers, he engaged her in another kiss and her voice failed, broken by his kiss. But with each new kiss, each new thrust, each new pull of the rope, it seemed almost like a sensory overload.

Everything bundled together just waiting for it to come to a climax. Before he released the kiss, she threw her head into one of the many pillows as his lips settled on her breast again. Kissing the sensitive skin and making her moan throatily as he lightly bit her nipples, a jerk went through her hips which was received by him and made Kappa moan as well.

They were both in complete harmony with the nature of lust driven by being human and the desire they had for each other. It was better than any drug. ,,Ka-Kappa...I-I am" she babbled, her mind too foggy and her words too short for her to finish. But when she saw his nod and a short ,,Me too" from him, she knew that he felt the same as she did.

That the tingling and pulling in her abdomen was getting too close, that his thrusts were getting faster but more uncontrollable, that she was pulling him even closer to her to just feel everything while the pleasurable sounds permeated the room and everything existed only around the two of them.

Before moments later she pulled him closer one last time while he made his final thrusts before they both came and he drowned her silent scream in another kiss. Keeping her lust to himself and giving her love and affection.

Only to detach himself from her moments later and slowly withdraw from her, breathing heavily. She didn't see because of her closed eyes how he looked at her and let his gaze wander over her body and the small smirk on his lips as he brushed his hair away.

Before he rose and reached for a blanket lying somewhere on the floor. ,,Don't be startled my little flower" he mumbled audibly exhausted before he wiped the rough dirt off her and went behind her. ,,Just a moment more and then off to the land of dreams," she heard him say as he slowly began to untie the rope and knot, which she welcomed.

She sighed in relief as she moved her arms slightly and ran them over her breasts as the tingling sensation slowly disappeared and her muscles no longer fell asleep. ,,I'm already with you," she replied and lay down next to him before Kappa wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

Hearing his giggle, she playfully rolled her tired eyes and pulled another blanket lightly over her and him to keep warm. ,,Darling? Say do you want to stay with me in the group...or go back to your life?" she heard his question dully as she was already slowly threatening to fall asleep again from exhaustion.

Back to my life of stressful studies and other annoying things? she asked herself, thinking for a moment as she fought fatigue. It was a life of stress that awaited her. But here. Here she could be what she wanted, she had a family, friends. She had someone who loved her and returned her feelings despite the short time.

Turning her head to him and looking at him she said tired and exhausted but clearly, ,,With you I want to stay with you Kappa". She saw his gaze soften, the fear leave his eyes as he realised she would not leave him. ,,That means everything to me my heart...I love you" he said leaning down to give her a kiss before he also made himself comfortable on the mountain of blankets and pillows which she only replied with a ,,I love you too" before she finally closed her eyes and only moments later drifted off like Kappa into the land of dreams.

Safe in the arms of Kappa, who did not let go, who held her and protected her. The man in the moon was defeated and there was no more danger. For him, there was only her. There was only love. The love between the cult leader and his personified nature. His love. And that was you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@angelsanarchy , @quicksilversg1rl , @spookyorchid , @milsthouqhts , @jzzminex , @bvg-w1res , @roryculkinsbf , @roryculkinsgf , @beldamama

[robinsno1lesbian]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐒 - 𝐑.𝐁. & 𝐍.𝐖.

you had a speech, you're speechless love slipped beyond your reaches and I couldn't give a reason

nancy wheeler x robin buckley

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: years after what happened in hawkins, nancy and robin meet again and things take a different turn from what they'd expected

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4663

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ mature content! (MDNI), porn with plot & feelings lmao, mild angst, implied cheating, mention of alcohol, vaginal fingering, oral sex (as always let me know if i missed anything!)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 1 year of ronance?? one thing: i wrote this on ao3 at first but when i was about to post it, they messed up the entire format. i sort of fixed it (took HOURS) but it might still look a bit odd?? idk just ignore that part i'm too lazy to fix it right now, it's almost midnight lmao! <3

when robin first saw her standing in the doorway, her heart dropped. not because she wasn't happy to see her because, god she was, but because it felt like seeing a ghost. a person from her past she would've never expected. especially not now, in the middle of a rainy july night she had planned on spending all alone on her couch.

nancy wheeler doesn't look like a ghost though, she looks so very real. her hair has grown much longer than robin has ever seen it and her face has changed too. she seems so much older but in all the right ways. in the ways, robin knows from whenever she looks in the mirror herself. they aren't kids anymore though that's just about how long it must have been since she last saw her.

she is dripping, summer rain drenching her clothes and soaking her hair. she's got her arms wrapped around herself, light blue eyes widened in surprise as if she wasn't expecting robin to actually open the door. strange, robin thinks, considering that she quite literally came to her apartment. but any of this, any thoughts and doubts vanish the second nancy speaks. it's just one word, but hearing the sound of her voice again is enough for her to feel an odd sense of comfort.

"robin-" she says, her facial expression something robin can't wrap her head around. she has half a smile on her lips and yet her eyes betray her. they're somehow scared as if she fears robin would send her away again. they hold a bit of surprise too that probably comes from the fact that this is her first time seeing robin too.

and just like that she stands there, in the hallway of robin's house, leaving a trail of waterdrops behind and smiling in a way that immediately captures the other woman's heart, even after years that have passed. as if she was never truly gone.

"nance..." robin mumbles, her raspy voice cracking when the nickname falls from her lips. "what- god what are you going here? i mean- i- god" she shakes head and steps all the way out of her apartment and into nancy's space. she can't even help herself but wrap her arms around the other girl's body and pull her into a hug. she can hear her gasps and loosens her hug for just a second, afraid that she has made a mistake, but nancy holds her in place and returns the hug with a soft "oh".

she can feel her wet clothes soaking the fabric of her own but she doesn't care. she doesn't care about anything but the fact that nancy is here, with her.

"oh my god" she mumbles and leans back, palms still holding her by the shoulders to look at her from up close "oh my god".

nancy chuckles, her smile spreading across her whole face. she seems relieved.

"you should-" she turns around to give a quick glance into her apartment. thank god she chose to clean up earlier. "you should come inside" ──────────────────

robin's couch bounces slightly under their weight as both women drop down onto it: nancy wearing a skirt and blouse that haven't gotten as wet due to her coat and robin with a bottle of wine and two glasses that she fills up for them.

she isn't sure when or why she has gotten this bottle, considering that she was never really a wine type of woman. but this seems like the right occasion or a least she hopes so.

it's not like she never really knew much about that either. she feels unusually exposed like this, well aware of nancy's eyes on her as she hands her the glass.

"so.." robin finally finds her voice "what brings you here?"

nancy takes a sip from her glass before she answers and robin's eyes immediately fall upon her jaw and the way it moves as she swallows the liquid. she drags her eyes away from it when nancy puts the glass down.

"steve gave me the address" she begins. "i was in town and...i didn't know where else to go"

"hold on" robin furrows her brows. "why are you in town?"

nancy inhales slowly. "i mean...i wanted to see you...i think...i- i kept thinking about you and i didn't have anything else to do"

robin wants to be surprised, wants to ask a million questions but how could she when nancy said that she wanted to see her ? that she kept thinking about her ? these words have her heart racing in her chest in excitement. the kind of excitement that reminds her of her youth and of all the times she had spent loving nancy. from afar at first and then from up close too, though no one ever knew about that.

it was their little secret, the one thing they had and shared in times when everything else had been ripped from them.

it was not what they should have done, robin knows that and she knows nancy knows too. it was tragic and heartbreaking and yet it was beautiful for as long as it lasted. and then, from one day to the other, it had all been gone.

"how long has it been?" nancy asks and tilts her head.

she looks beautiful like this, robin thinks, with her knees drawn to her body while she has an arm propped up up the armrest. she looks older, too; her hair has grown longer and her eyes seem to be less...tired? or exhausted, maybe?

either way, robin knows what must've caused this; the sleepless nights that followed the events of 1986 had left a mark on all of them. that seems to be gone now, though. or at least a lot less present.

robin wonders if nancy still falls asleep to the sound of jonathan's breathing. if they're still as strong as they were at 18. but she can't bring herself to ask that. she can't bare to hear the truth about the nights they had spent together back then.

although she can imagine it perfectly fine: "we were children robin" nancy would say, nipping on her glass of wine occasionally. "we didn't know what we were doing. it meant nothing". only the voice of imaginary nancy in her head makes her heart drop. it didn't mean nothing to her. of course not.

but nancy had jonathan, chose jonathan. even after the nights they had spent nuzzled up against one another beneath the weight of the blanket, telling stories about the things they would do once all of this would be over.

years have passed ever since. years of occasional calls, questions about life but always avoiding those topics. years of telling each other they would meet again soon and somehow they never did. robin wonders what changed.

"i'm not sure i want to know, actually" robin chuckles. "too long, that's for sure" "yeah" nancy nods, her gaze lingering on the coffee table absentmindedly for a split second. "too long"

she turns the wine glass in her hands before she finally speaks: "so, robin buckley" her head turns to look at her, her deep blue eyes sending shivers down robin's spine.

"how have you been here?"

"oh you know-" robin shrugs. "getting around...i have a pretty solid job, an apartment i like..."

"is-" nancy cuts herself off for a second, as if she's reconsidering her words, before she does speak "is there anyone?"

"oh" she blushes slightly, praying that it is dark enough to conceal the soft shade of red of her cheeks. "no...i mean, i guess there have been women but...it never felt right"

never felt right with anyone but you, is what robin means to say. she wants to scream it, at the top of her lungs, like she should've done when nancy left hawkins. maybe if she would've done so, things would be different now.

"what about you?" she asks instead, chewing the insides of her cheeks nervously.

the sight of this makes nancy chuckle to herself; years have gone by and this is still robin. all grown up now, long curls held out of her face with a hair claw so that her freckled skin is on full display. but it's still her: the tall girl who reached for her hand in the upside down, who held her when no one else did, who put bandages to the wound that have scarred now but are still a permanent reminder of who they are. who had always been so unapologetically herself.

"it's...difficult" she answers, drowning the last bits of wine in one gulp to give her the strength to go on. "jonathan and i we- well we were engaged as you know-"

the words are enough for her to internally flinch. she does know. she remembers the day she got the letter, inviting her to their 'engagement party' in big, loopy letters. it all seemed so final then. not like it hadn't already felt final before, but this seemed to be it.

"yeah" she nods.

"but that kind of...didn't work as we had planned" nancy looks down at her hands, at the spot where the engagement ring used to sit -tying her to a person whom she could never love the way he deserved it.

robin's gaze follows her, eyes widening slightly when she finds the spot empty. "what happened?"

"i don't think our visions of a future matched the way we thought they would. he had all those dreams and...i knew i couldn't give him that"

she nods along to her words softly.

"when did you...?"

"it's been a little while" nancy explains and puts the glass on the coffee table. "it's fine we don't- let's not talk about him right now okay?"

she knows robin deserves the truth. probably the most out of all people. but nancy is also well aware that this truth, her truth, could ruin them more than life already has. and she isn't ready to lose robin.

"of course, of course" robin agrees. "whatever you prefer it's just..."

she reaches out softly and ever so slowly until her hand reaches nancy's. their fingers link in an instant and for a split second, they're in the upside down again, darkness all around while creatures of terror are screeching in the distance. they're both 18 once more, secretly head over heels for the other while knowing they could not be.

just like all these years ago, skin meets skin and all the worries in this world become white noise to their feelings.

nancy blinks and her eyes find robin's. they're 26 again, in a beautiful apartment that is more robin than anything imaginable. times have changed, they have too.

"you got this" she whispers, just like nancy once did. "and even if you don't, i got you"

a soft smile creeps upon her features, softening the sharp edges of her face that she never grew out of. robin is happy she didn't. she has always been the most beautiful woman robin has ever laid her eyes on and yet mid-20s look good on nancy, probably even better than 18.

"maybe i should have stayed" nancy mumbles. "robin did i...did i make the wrong choice?"

she clears her throat, slightly taken aback by the answer. her younger-self would have yelled now. she would have yelled and screamed and cried about how she did make the wrong choice and how she broke her heart by leaving.

but she has grown.

nancy hadn't been ready, unlike herself. it had been unfair, but that's the way it was then. robin had sworn herself she wouldn't waste her time waiting for a woman that had chosen her own way.

now she knows that she has waited all along.

"you didn't, you- you weren't ready nancy" she explains. "this couldn't have worked like this"

nancy tilts her head and gives her a look that tells her just how thankful she is. she also leans in a lot closer than she did before. but maybe robin is imagining that part.

"is there still time...?" she breathes. oh she's definitely not imagining that. she can feel nancy's breath on her face. "can i- god, please let me fix this"

and then she closes the little distance that is left between them.

her lips feel softer than they did back then. she must've dropped the anxious habit of chewing on them. but robin doesn't care about that right now, and pushes the thought away for another time.because nancy, her nancy, is kissing her again.

it's been years of longing for the taste of those lips and yet robin remembers. robin remembers everything.

they still feel like flying on clouds and taste like the summer of '86. their mouths meet softly at first, testing long-forgotten waters. they're a long series of pressing carefully and giving in for the silent plead. that's until nancy's part slightly and robin can't help but follow suit immediately.

nancy allows robin to take control over the kiss, unlike she had done back when they first kiss.

the sensation of tongues sliding against each other has her head spinning too much to remain in control over anything.

robin wastes no time in pulling them up, her lips never leaving nancy's as they move through the apartment in a haze.

"h-how do you- i mean- is this-" robin curses herself for this damn rambling that comes up at the most inconvenient of all times. the other woman doesn't mind though. she just smiles.

"your bedroom, robin" she whispers.

"oh, yeah...yeah right" robin says, biting her lip.

that same smile is still plastered over nancy's face when she mumbles a sweet invitation of "come here" and wraps her arms around her again.

they stumble down the hallway of the apartment, occasionally walking against corners and walls without breaking their kiss. there is a trail of clothing following them on the wooden floor, a sweater, a blouse, and a tank top lining up until where they're standing. nancy chuckles against her lips as the taller woman struggles to find the doorknob behind her, all while she is getting pressed against it by her. once she figures it out, robin wastes no time in pulling nancy inside. suddenly very self-conscious, she stands in front of her, finally allowing robin to take in the beautiful sight in front of her.

she is standing right in front of robin the woman who she loved all these years ago. who she still loves, if she's being honest. but this is probably not the time for this conversation, nancy decides. not when she's wearing nothing but a lacy bra and her jeans still, just waiting for robin to undress her.

"you're- you're so beautiful, nancy" robin whispers, her eyes glued to her body. there's no shame in her shameless gaping. for the first time, she can actually do so without feeling utterly ashamed. and she's making some good use of that. blush creeps up her chest and robin's lips curl into a smile.

"you're beautiful too" nancy returns and steps into her space. robin is wearing a rather decent, black bra, but god it looks good. she reaches out, her palm meeting robin's upper arm just beneath her shoulder. neither of them speaks, heavy breathing the only proper noise they can manage as she runs her hand upwards softly. over the outstanding collarbones, the hundreds of freckles she has counted more times than she cares to admit, over the soft flesh of her pulse point, until her fingers wrap around the back of her neck.

robin has moved her hands down to settle on nancy's waist and, just like that, she pulls her in. they lean in slowly, slower than they've ever done it before. seizing every second they can get of this.

it is nancy who eventually closes the distance by pulling robin towards her with her hand on her neck.

their moths meet parted, hot breaths past each other's lips while they press their foreheads together.

"i want you" nancy mumbles and is rewarded by robin's mouth pressing against hers. their tongues slide together within seconds. they move together softly at first, taking their time to explore each other's mouths. but when robin sucks nancy's bottom lip into her mouth and nancy audibly gasps at the feeling, the last bits of remaining ice is broken.

this is also all it takes for the kisses to reach new heights, hands roaming freely while they're still hooked to the other's lips. eventually, though, robin breaks the kiss. nancy is about to complain, at least that's until robin's lips attach to her neck and her parted lips -prepared to let out a complaint- open wider to let out a sinful gasp, followed by "oh Robin".

her mouth is doing some absolute magic work on her neck that has her legs shaking and leaves her with no other choice but to hold on to the back of her head and pray that she won't stop anytime soon. robin isn't planning on stopping, of course. this, the feeling of nancy's fingers curling up in her hair, her racing pulse beneath her lips, her soft moans like fuel to the fire that's burning within her, it's all so much. it's pure bliss. it's not nearly enough.

as her tongue licks a long stripe up nancy's neck, her fingers find her nipples through the thin lace of her bra. nancy mumbles some incoherent words of how she needs it off of her but robin gets the hint and reaches around her body, unclasps it with surprising ease that has nancy wondering just how many women robin has been with since her, and let's gravity do the rest of the work as it drops to the floor.

nancy's eyes meet hers and she feels almost shy now, with robin still in her underwear while she has been stripped out of her own. that can be changed though, she realizes, and steps forward to get robin into an equal state of undressing.

robin chuckles to see how eager nancy seems to be to ger her naked but doesn't mind one bit. she guides the other woman to the bed, where she sits down on the edge of the mattress before pulling nancy onto her lap.

her fingers run over her cheeks, cupping her face in her soft hands while she looks down at her through the dim light.

"i missed this" she whispers quietly, so quietly robin isn't even sure she was supposed to hear it. her voice is layered with so many emotions but nancy wheeler is not gonna get emotional about sex. yet the image of robin is enough for her to start crying if she just focused on that for long enough. "i missed you".

"i missed you too, nance" robin replies. her voice is as raspy as it ever was, like music to nancy's ears.

"please touch me!"

and so she does. she brings her lips to her chest and kisses all over her skin. nancy leans her head back immediately, her eyes fluttering shut at the heavenly sensation of finally having her mouth on her body again. she still has a hand behind her head and guides her softly, giving her a suggestive tug of her hair, closer to her hardened nipples. robin understands within seconds and wraps her lips around them before sucking softly. her eyes meet nancy's as she does so and she is delighted to see that nancy's lips have parted and she is panting at the new feeling.

"oh god...yes!"

her lips begin trailing further downward after a bit more of this, further and further, as far as their current position allows it. at the same time, she has both of her palms on nancy's back to hold her close.

"beautiful" she whispers. "so beautiful...so pretty..."

then, when nancy least expects it, she spins them around so that she has her laying beneath herself. nancy lets out a noise of surprise that turns into sweet laughter once she realizes what robin is up to.

she watches her with curious eyes as the other woman props herself up over her with both of her arms. it gives her just the right amount of space between their bodies to wrap her arms around her body and, with a questioning tilt of her head that robin confirms with a nod, take off her bra too. once she has loosened it, she allows the fabric to slide down her body.

her fingers dance over robin's ribcage faintly, feeling the swell of scars that she carries from the battle in hawkins still. she hopes that each line of her fingerprints might help them heal.

robin's breathing is labored when nancy's hands find her breasts and she gives them both a gentle, careful squeeze.

"holy shit nance-" her voice is richly layered with want for the girl beneath her and carries little cracks with it that shoot right down to nancy's center.

she leans down again, kissing her already swollen lips. she would probably allow nancy to play with her tits for hours -maybe one day she will actually ask her to do so, assuming that this is more than a one-time thing- but she wants her, needs her. nancy sucks on her tongue and robin groans audibly, a noise from deep inside her throat. finally, her lips move downwards again, except that this time their position is not an obstacle for that. she kisses her way down, until she is laying between nancy's legs, her fingers hooked around the waistband of her skirt. she lookes up at her and mumbles "can i?"

"please" nancy nods. "please"

robin pulls down both her underwear and the skirt and brings it all the way down her long legs before throwing it over her shoulder absentmindedly. she keeps looking right into nancy's eyes though, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by gaping at her pussy. nancy wouldn't mind though, if anything, she would greatly appreciate it if robin finally gave her the attention she wants.

she spreads her legs even wider and finally, robin's eyes wander lower. she visibly licks her lips and inhales sharply at the sight in front of her:

nancy is wet. she's so wet and wanting for her.

she fights back the internal urge to press her thighs together, because that would mean robin would probably lean back and that is the last thing she wants. instead, she grabs the back of her head and bucks her hips upwards. robin gets the hint and lets it happen, lets her pull her face into her. she puts her hands to her inner thighs and holds her open as she licks a broad, long stripe through her with the flat of her tongue, before circling her clit with the tip of it.

it seems as if she hasn't forgotten a thing after all this time, as if she still remembers all the spots that have nancy seeing stars. she wraps her lips around her clit after some more licks and sucks gently, immediately earning an arch of nancy's back and a broken moan of her name in response.

she keeps teasing around her clit with her tongue and then occasionally dips down to gather more of her arousal on her tongue to bring it up.

"fuck nancy" she breathes, voice all hoarse. "you taste so fucking good"

nancy only tries to pull robin closer at that. she feels so hungry right now. she wants more, she needs more. nancy doubts she has ever felt this way before. not with Jonathan, definitely not with steve back then. and even the nights she has spent with robin...nothing could compare to what this feels like. back then they had to rush things, had to keep it quiet, had to love each other in utter silence. now she can love her freely, she can let robin love her freely. for the first time she doesn't have the weight of shame on her shoulders.

robin is still sweeping her tongue through her, but she does it slowly. firm and with purpose, but it is obvious that she wants to take her time with this. just like nancy does.

"oh robin..." nancy's eyes have fallen shut, which gives her no warning when robin begins toying a singular finger to her entrance. her eyes fly open at that but before she has time to fully comprehend it, she pushes it inside and she cries out loud. the noise has robin clenching around nothing between her own legs because she can head just how good nancy is feeling because of her.

she pumps it into her a couple of times, attentively watching what nancy seems to like before the woman above her lets out a whiny "more please" and she adds a second one to it. the pushes it into her slowly but nancy takes it all, moaning as she stretches her further.

"oh- oh my god robin- right there fuck" she moans.

robin wastes no time in getting her mouth back on her and syncing the licks of her tongue over her clit with the thrusts of her fingers. "you're so pretty like this" she mumbles against her and the vibration of her voice goes right into nancy's aching cunt. after a couple of minutes of this, of slow thrusts and licking, she starts picking up her pace. she can feel nancy growing slightly impatient; hips rolling with each curl of her fingers and fingernails scratching her scalp in a desperate attempt to have her closer.

she gets a reaction out of her immediately. the volume of her moans increases and she can feel her legs shaking around her head.

"robin- shit robin- i'm- i'm close" nancy gasps, her back arching off the mattress while she rocks her hips forward in quick motions, chasing her orgasm. "please- please robin please"

"shh" robin hushes her and puts a palm to her stomach to ground her back down onto the bed. "don't worry nance, i told you i got you"

and with that, she picks up her pace again, much quicker this time. high pitched moans echo through the room as nancy grabs for robin's other hand that is still sitting on her thigh and holds onto it for dear life as she comes. robin fucks her through it, and allows her to ride her orgasm out on her tongue; she just lays it flatly against her, and nancy does the rest of it.

nancy's moans are louder than she has ever heard them. she sounds so fucking pretty, robin thinks to herself.

eventually, nancy's orgasm has washed over her and she comes down from her height. she is panting, her chest rising and falling while her eyes are still closed and she is leaning back.

"holy shit" she breathes and chuckles, the aftershocks still rippling through her limbs.

"yeah..." robin mumbles, chin and fingers covered in nancy's cum. "holy shit"

"god" nancy opens her arms. she sounds still breathless but her gaze settles firmly on robin. "come here please"

that's all the woman needs to hear. she slowly withdraws her fingers from her, still careful not to accidentally overstimulate her right now. once she has pulled all the way out, she crawls up her body and nancy wraps her arms around her to hold her especially close. she kisses all over her, every part of her head she can reach: her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. "thank you" she manages in between kisses. "oh thank you robin..."

robin just smiles, allows her to hold onto her as she recovers from her orgasm.

she's not sure what this means yet, not sure what will happen once they finish whatever this is. she knows she wants nancy to stay. not just for the night but for much longer. she knows that letting her go again would be too much for her to bare after she has lost her once before.

so she holds her just a tiny bit closer to her own body, strokes just a little bit more of her skin she can reach, and whispers sweet nothings to her to steady her racing heart. makes use of everything she can get as long as she has it, the fear of nancy leaving slowly creeping into her head.

little does she know that nancy, who is running her fingers through her hair as she enjoys the soft kisses and touches on her skin, has already made up her mind. that for the first time ever, nancy is not afraid to make a choice this fundamental.

nancy knows what she really, truly wants. she knows she wants robin.

and she will show her just how much...

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. currently very tempted to write a part 2 so...

[gabessquishytum]

Hairy Hob is a blessing I never thought I needed. And this is coming from someone who was kind of meh on the whole body hair thing in sex stuff, it's fine if it's in it, but not my thing usually. Imagine my surprise when I end up going feral, not for someone like the Corinthian who honestly should be more my type, I end up going absolutely bonkers for Hob Gadling. Hob Gadling this absolute Honda Civic of a man, I love him.

Scent kink too, but I digress. More to the point, for someone like Hob, I figured he might be a bit insecure about his body hair when he and Dream first get together. Maybe he noticed one time how much arm hair he has compared to Dream, who took off his coat for some reason. So, the day comes when they finally plan to do the do, and Hob spends the entire morning and afternoon shaving his entire body, cause waxing will hurt too much XD. And then it's time, they're making out. Deam starts to touch his body while kissing and is progressively becoming more confused the more he touches Hob. Until Dream loses patience and rips his shirt to shreds to see his bare chest. And the horror on Dream's face XD, you'd think someone died or something, immediately ripping off Hob's pants and underwear, and he's bare everywhere of course. Dream looked him over twice, even going so far as to make Hob present himself, ie bending over and spreading himself.

Hob's face is beet red, his face is like a tomato, doesn't understand what the fuss is, he thought Dream might like him like this. But the mounting rage on the Dreamlord's face says otherwise. Dream is livid, and I wonder how he'll punish Hob for this. huehuehuehuehuehuehueheuhehuehue

-Love Yan Anon <3

yeSSSS love that my Hairy Hob propaganda is spreading <3 it's funny bc Hob IS so my type it's almost ridiculous. I think body hair really is A Thing for me (on whatever gender) and I can't explain it BUT. I can attempt to spread the gospel about it heehee.

LOVE the idea of Hob being insecure though omg!!! He's really overthinking everything and he's noticed that Dream is very,,, smooth. He's got the tiniest bit of upper lip stubble but aside from that, he's pretty hairless! And Hob is like, "I'm connecting the dots. He was all weird in 1589, when I had facial hair. Obviously he hates body hair and stuff." And Matthew is probably there like "you haven't connected shit my dude" but Hob is already convinced.

And he's a lil sad because ugh, he has a lot of hair, it's kinda part of him?? Also it takes a long time to shave??? But he'd do anything for Dream so. He spends a good 3 hours meticulously making sure he's smooth, even his butthole doesn't escape, it's a fucking nightmare but. Worth it. For Dream.

And yeah Dream is pissed off, ok. He's finally got Hob naked after 600 fucking years of lustful yearning (including a solid half an hour staring at his chest hair in 1689) and he just doesn't get it. But he's incapable of having a normal conversation about it so he pulls a very squirmy (and slightly itchy, fucking shaving burn??? Oww!!) Hob over his lap and demands an explanation.

Hob is humiliated and embarrassingly turned on about it, and he explains his thought process and Dream is just like. "Oh wow. I'm in love with an idiot." Which is objectively not an ideal moment for a love declaration but does clear up a lot of Hob’s self esteem issues.

But Dream is still committed to punishing his lover for his grave sins against all that lovely sexy body hair. He spends a good hour or two smacking Hob’s poor arse (with particular focus on his hole, which is already stinging sooo badly) and his cock. All his shaving implements are immediately banished too, and it's for Dream to decide when he gets his face shaving privileges back. In fact, maybe Dream decides that Hob needs a little more supervision overall. And maybe Hob is unreasonably turned on by the fact that Dream is in charge of his outfit for each day, and his meals, and most importantly, his bedtime <3

[thewitchesfortune]

Hi how do I preform a cord cutting ritual for a toxic person in my life?

Disclaimer this may have some triggering things in it,if they do trigger you you don’t have to respond. I do apologize in advance if anything does trigger you.

to specify what I mean is that this person almost sent me to the hospital last week or could have took my being with hand sanitizer that had 75% rubbing alcohol, made jokes about it when someone confronted them about it saying “yay they can get “silly” now (I censored the word)” and thought they were the victim because they got suspended for Half a day. I have to admit I have done something to them that hurt them, and at the time I didn’t know it would we used to be friends and they said something I made a comment. It made them insecure, hours later they made an inappropriate joke so I smacked them upside the head in a way I thought was gentle. After this I got suspended for a whole week, and apologized to this person.

Alright, so first and foremost fuck the people who suspended you for that long, especially since they only suspended him for half a day for sending you to the HOSPITAL

But for real, if you have a pic of his face, make some copies. There's a LOT you can do, cause the cord cutting probably won't be enough if you are forced to occupy the same space for long periods of time

Let's start with a "shut your mouth" working. Take a lemon, a large needle, thread of your choice, black pepper, cayenne, chili powder, salt, jalapeño seeds, and any other spicy pepper you have on hand (you can also add hot sauce if you have it), and your targets photo (or a name paper if you can't get a pic)

Cut a slit into the lemon to represent his mouth, and speak as such over it. Shove is picture inside the "mouth" and add your ingredients one by one, stating what you want to happen if he speaks to OR about you in any type of way. Ask them to cause his mouth to burn, for him to start choking, for him to stutter and be unable to finish what he was saying ANY time your name is on his tongue

Use the needle and thread to sew this shut, and you can also add thorns and pins if you'd like.

You can either turn this into a jar spell by adding it to a jar and filling it with vinegar, and then praying over the whole jar and keeping it somewhere it won't be easily found by others, or you could go hang this in a tree and ask that as it rots, so too does his mouth and any words he has about you die on his lips

After this is done, you can go to a busy road and grab some dirt, bring it home with you, and add the ashes of his photo to it, black pepper (to banish), black salt (or regular if you don't have black salt)(also to banish), cayenne (to speed things up and cause discomfort), any other hot peppers (for the same reason), you can also set all of this in a cross candle set up with 5 tealights (set them in this order: top, bottom, right, left, center) and pray over the whole thing for him to leave your life and never come back to bother you. Once the candles burn out, take the mixture back to the road, and make sure upu throw it on the side that specifically leads AWAY from town, and then don't look back when you leave

I would wait to do a regular cord cutting till he's actually gone, personally, but you could take some twine and 2 candles, you can soak the twine in lemon juice, carve your name in one candle and one in his and tie the string around both candles. Light the candles, and then as you pray for the cord to be cut, literally cut the cord with some scissors, and let the candles burn

The other method is to just let the flame take the cord out, but that doesn't always work. It can show you how hard the other person is holding on though, it's a good way to divine how difficult it will be to get rid of someone

After all of this though I definitely recommend cleansing yourself, and your space, and then doing some blessing spells on yourself and space as well. You can make a blessed oil by praying psalm 23 over it, like a bottle of olive oil or something, and you can do a solid cleansing by making some instant coffee and praying over it for it to clear away any unwanted energies, anything that could still be tying you to him, and anything that may have tried to attach itself to you through this process (not likely, but better to do this asap just in case) and then take a shower normally, and after you are clean, pour the cooled coffee over your head and try to make sure it hits every part of you, or at least all of your head and shoulders

If you can, let yourself air dry after this, but if you can't just pat yourself dry instead of rubbing, and use a blow dryer. IMEDIATELY use the blessed oil to annoint yourself asking for blessings once you're dry (forehead, crown, back of head, shoulders, palms, and bottoms of feet)

Good luck! And if you'd like to tip me, it would be appreciated! 😁

[pbandjesse]

I have had a migraine for hours and hours. It is finally starting to go away. But it was kind of a rough day because of this head ache. But I tried hard to not let it ruin my whole day.

I slept weird last night. I woke up in the middle of the night all confused and in pain. I let myself sleep an extra half hour. James was there and being sweet. They had to leave for work a little before I did. But I got myself together and headed to camp.

It wasn't a bad drive. And when I got there I went right to the art building. I would spend my first hour or so resetting the fibers boxes because Sarah will be leading a few different programs next week and I want it to be easy for her.

This would take me a while. But once I was done I would do some general cleaning. I can't wait until summer to clean the building for real. But it's very hard with all the tables and chairs stored in there.

I would set up for my bead program later in the day. And I made a small bead lizard to add to my bag. I checked outside and saw that everyone else was in now so I would pack up what I was doing and drove my car down there to park for the day.

It was a nice morning. I would spend a little time emailing and looking at some stuff. Joe would come ask if we could move some paint for him. And once I was done typing up my list of program things for Alexi, me, Joe, and Sarah took the gator to the lodge.

Sarah got rid of the recycling while I moved the paint, and Joe checked the aed. And after that I worked on putting away some of the art in the bedrooms down there. There wasn't time to hang them before the wedding this weekend so we wanted to make sure it was at least neat.

We all were supposed to go on a walk to discuss program areas at 1130. So I would eat some of my lunch before it was time. And it was a long walk. Almost 3 hours! But it felt productive.

I think one of my issues is that I don't know what is possible. Both in what can be changed to the landscape of camp, what we are budgeting monetarily, and physically what we have the manpower for. So this was eye-opening. Talking about taking down trees and leveling the ground. It was honestly really interesting. And for the first time in a bit it felt like we were making real, tangible progress on what we want to have done this summer and an idea of what we want for next year too.

Me and Sarah were getting pretty tired. I'm sure everyone else was too but me and her were commiserating about it. At least at the Adirondack and at the lodge we could sit down. But my attention was waning and I wanted to go eat before our late 4pm programing.

I would go and help feed the chickens during this walk around. And had trouble catching them to give them a hug. They are not being socialized enough and are super skittish. I hope Sarah and Chloe work on that, since this was their idea. They are very pretty chickens though and I enjoyed holding them.

A little after 230 we were free. And I went to eat but then I was texting James to check in about our flight on Sunday. I had been asking about the meal on the flight and how to request a vegetarian meal. And Paul didn't know. So I started looking into it and that is when I discovered they spelled my name incorrectly on my ticket! I freaked. I was franticly texting James, who was apparently in a meeting and away from their phone, for the next hour because they won't let me on the plane if my ticket and passport don't match. And I worked myself up so bad. I was so upset.

James would get back to me and called Paul and he said he will get it fixed. I hope it's as easy as he thinks it will be. I had to reset and calm down. My head was hurting so bad from stress and probably dehydration. But I had to pull it together.

I didn't feel like myself. I still don't really. But I tried to be pleasant event if I wasn't as loud of a personality.

The group today did an 8 mile hike and we're exhausted by the time it was time for our programs. So I had a much easier time getting some of them to come do art. And we were making bead lizards. And they did so good. Some tried to do the more intense and complicated things and I was so proud of them. I worked to make sure I could help when needed. And I gave away the lizard I made. it was fun. A good hour.

Even though my head hurt.

I was ready to go home. Getting them out of the building was tough but it was fine. I chatted with the chaperones a s we all got the table clean and then we were off.

I stopped at the office and said goodbye to everyone and went home.

The plan was to get James and we would go pick up their tux and we would get dinner and then we would go drop off our new key with Callie. A busy evening.

There was a lot of traffic. And when I got home there was no where to park. And I was stressed. I called James and they would just come out and take over and we would just leave right away.

My head hurt and it would only get worse. We started with the tux. And it was so good. I did not take a picture but James looked so handsome. The jacket was a little bigger on the shoulders then I'm used to seeing on my husband but they looked really good.

We left there and went to friendlies for dinner. Where we got sandwiches and fries and shared a fribble. That we discovered is a milkshake made with soft-serve. Sure. It was good and we had a lot of laughs. Even though my eyes were trying to pop out of my head.

It was decided James would take me home and they would run to drop off the key with Callie. This was the right call. I felt terrible.

Being home helped. I was feeling really nauseous and was afraid I was going to throw up. But I would take a cool shower and that helped a lot.

I sat on the floor in our room and drank water. And tried to perm my lashes. Very mixed results. My right eye went great. My left eye went terribly. But it is done and I think it still looks good.

Ja.ss got home and they would hang out downstairs and have the free ice cream they got from friendlys (they got rocking Poppin cotton candy with fruity pebbles on top. Which is objectively a hilarious name and combination for a 30 year old person). But once they were done they joined me upstairs.

Drinking water helped. And I am feeling a lot better now. Now I am just really tired.

Tomorrow should be a good day. And then tomorrow evening I'm taking a painted screen class at creative alliance and I'm really looking forward to that.

I hope I feel a lot better tomorrow. And I hope you all have a great night. Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourself.

[radinagames2020]

Marvel's Midnight Suns

Rating: 4/5. Loved the writing and the stratgey game. Game had some bugs though, and I'd probably enjoy it more if I was a true marvel-head.

Gonna drop a short writeup here about a game that's probably very easy to find info and reviews about. Because unlike my usual fare, this isn't some tiny indie, but a AAA game attached to a huge franchise. It took me almost 85 hours to complete (although I did basically 100% it) - but I didn't mind because I really liked it!

The game is half a strategy game, and half an rpg type game where you make friends and explore the Abbey grounds solving mysteries. I really enjoyed both aspects. The combo of turn based strategy and deckbuilding was a big win for me, and I feel like it's going to have somewhat ruined non-deckbuilding TBS games for me now! Every aspect of the fights was super well done, from the balance of the cards + environmental effects, to the animations, and even to fun splash-screens that big attacks get you. The engine is used for so many different types of battles and subgoals that it never really got old, even when I was grinding to get my last hero to maximum friendship (which I assume most players won't do).

I also really liked the exploration side of the game, chatting with characters and learning about Hunter's past. This game has SO much content - I can't believe that after 80 hours I was still encountering brand new conversations. The voice acting is wonderful and the writing left me chuckling - what can I say, I enjoy Marvel's quippy style. Not all the writing was perfect, but in 80+ hours of it, I can't complain. I also liked the story, and although the ending was a bit abrupt, it made sense and felt earned. And I loved the Abbey grounds - they were super beautiful, and wandering around them was lovely.

(Dr. Strange was my favorite character by the end)

The only reason I'm not giving this game 5 stars is just because, while I really enjoyed it, I can't say it's in my top favorite games. I'm just not a huge marvel fan, and would probably have enjoyed this more if it was disconnected from that franchise. It also had a fair share of bugs, from rendering people in weird places to straight up crashing and losing progress when trying to upgrade cards. For the price (and the size of the studio making it), I expected better performance. But it's still a fun game that I thoroughly enjoyed!

[tinyapartments]

hanash lately: shoulders, syllabi, slowing down, and other shenanigans from the last two months!

luntian had raved a few times about her boss's memory: "she remembers everything. you know why? she journals every day."

i told her: we should do the same.

but here i am failing miserably at keeping this blog updated. i had intended to write about our trip to baguio during the tail end of may, my 33rd birthday in lucban, our anniversary spent watching plays and a stand-up act, and my mundane teacher's leave. however, as i type this, another semester has opened and details for the past two and a half months are almost slipping away!

when we got back from japan, i had to prepare for a conference in baguio where my colleagues (who are also close friends) would present our current research. luntian took a leave and tagged along. we dined at oh my gulay! and she took me to bencab museum: it was my first time. i was happy to see works by santi bose and antipas delotavo in the flesh.

in june, i celebrated my birthday by having dinner at a taiwanese restaurant in quezon city with luntian and my closest friends, rogelio and faith. the celebration continued when we spent a full weekend in lucban. one of my best friends, june (not to be confused with jeane), had an airbnb there and her entire family was happy enough to host us. my mother and luntian's family went as well. we were well-fed for almost three whole days. we visited my dad's grave. i introduced luntian for the first time. she and i ran on saturday morning and discovered that lucban's uneven streets were not kind to our feet. on sunday, my mother, luntian, and her mom went to mass before heading back home. my jesus year could not have started any better.

the highlight of july was our first anniversary, which we spent at ace water spa for free (for free!). luntian was heading a paralegal training for work and had free accommodations (buffets included!) at the water spa's hotel. for that saturday we watched sir vlad's back-to-back theater plays (prinsipe bahaghari left us in tears and puting gunaw left us haunted) as well as atsuko okatsuka's full grown tour in manila. on sunday, we woke up early for an almost nine-kilometer run around up diliman campus punctuated by a well-deserved breakfast buffet at the university hotel. what a weekend!

and soon enough my most awaited teacher's leave began. i went home to cavite to spend time with my dogs and my mother. i started watching sex and the city. i tried finishing an ongoing research i'm writing on queer coming-of-age films, but it's still in my drafts folder. i ate my mom's baked goods. and in a blink, it's august again.

august had a disorienting start. though i was able to tick off most of the errands on my to-do list during our leave, i suffered two shoulder dislocations in the first two weeks of the month. luckily, i managed to pop them back in less than an hour for both incidents, but healing and rehabbing them will take a considerable amount of time. i guess that means no pickleball for a while.

i've had this injury since i was nine: i got hit by a speeding tricycle (probably a faulty assessment of a highway at my age as well) and broke my right clavicle. even though it healed as young bones have a pretty good recovery rate, it dealt a permanent blow on my right shoulder. it would dislocate for a few seconds if i twisted my arm on a weird angle or when i kicked too hard in high school soccer. i'd be immobilized for no more than five minutes, but it would pop back like nothing happened. i didn't understand what a shoulder dislocation meant then and just called it "spasms."

throughout my adulthood, i would endure three severe shoulder dislocations (i'd call it severe because i can't put it back on my own) where i'd end up at the hospital. the most recent incident was just last year. the doctor told me that my best resort is surgery (which i can't afford right now!). the consecutive dislocations just this month were frightening because it happened in my sleep.

while rushing to curate readings to update my syllabi in time for the school opening, i'd alternate tabs on researching about my condition. once you've had a shoulder dislocation, relapse is about 90% certain. it's called shoulder instability. some heal properly through physical therapy (i've done this after my second hospitalization), but the best hope is surgery. coach aivi, who happens to have the same condition as mine, but had the surgery told me that building muscles on your shoulders is also a big help. while this is comforting as i do enjoy physical activity, it would have to wait until my shoulder is stable enough to at least lift a decently weighted dumbbell. i hope i'm patient enough to wait for that.

the first week of school opening is also the first week of getting used to wearing my shoulder braces daily (i use different ones for daily wear, sleeping, and sports) and applying cold packs every night and morning. all these additions to my daily routine are unexpected and quite frankly irritating as they slow me down (especially in the morning!), but perhaps it IS a necessary reminder to indeed slow down.

slow down and wait for my shoulder to heal. slow down while i save up for surgery. slow down and take time to write more every day (to remember more about every day!). slow down to bounce back better and stronger. slow down, slow down, slow down. if i'm patient enough to rehaul my syllabi (i cannot wait for my students to read john cheever and doris lessing though!) then maybe i could be patient enough to wait for and work on my recovery.

slow down, slow down, slow down.

[sophierequests]

OKAY SONGFIC EVENT IS CLOSING SOON SO I WILL NOW BE SPAMMING YOUR INBOX <3

🌟 - sports by beach bunny with jesper!!!

i could be lonely with you

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x gn!Reader

A/N: Lizzzz (@juneberrie, because idk how much you're on your old account anymore), I love that idea!!! And I really adored writing this, even though I think I may have branched out a bit. Ik ik, the song is a bit ambiguous when it comes to happy ending or not, but I can't write too much Jesper angst or I'll cry, so have this. As always, thank you so much for requesting this, and I hope you like it <333 Also, how are y'all liking my new post aesthetic?

Summary: The reader is tired of waiting for Jesper to figure his feelings out, but letting him go isn't an option either.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Word Count: 3.7K

Warnings: alcohol, getting drunk, love, possible reaction, happy endings (yuck)

"You're drinking alone? Without me?" Your reason for choosing to get drunk alone in the first place appeared in front of you all of a sudden. Even though the Crow Club was filled to the brim with gamblers, he still had managed to spot you, and now he was here to make you regret ever leaving the safety of your room. Sometimes you wondered if he did all of this just to purposefully vex you.

"Drinking alone sort of implies not having any company, Jesper.” You murmured, taking another sip from your glass of whiskey, avoiding his gaze as best as you could. But of course, the Saints weren’t merciful enough to grant you some peace and quiet. Without asking, he took the drink from your hands and put it to his lips. The same glass that touched your lips only mere seconds earlier. Well, also the same lips that were on yours only mere hours earlier. Saints.

“I guess we’ll have to change that.” It was then that you noticed the slight slur in his speech. He had already been tipsy before coming here, that was probably the only reason for him to talk to you right now. “Why don’t you come and join me at the card table? I could need a lucky charm.” His tone was distinctly flirtatious, and normally you would have instantly latched on to every syllable, but not now. Not after today.

“Sorry, Jesper. I’m not really in the mood for your games right now.” The double entendre went unnoticed considering he solely seemed to care about the missed opportunity of having you sit around while he gambles away the majority of his money. The corners of his mouth were turned downwards as he gave you an almost tortured groan in reaction to your rejection. And as much as you would have liked to accompany him, being close to him - this close to him - was not going to work.

“Not even for half an hour? I always play better when you’re around.” A wink followed his questionable statement, but you were set on not allowing him to lure you in again.

“Nope. Go and ask Wylan. He’d probably be up for it.” Wow, great work. Now you really ruined it for yourself with your bitterness.

“Wylan’s not into all of that. And Wylan also isn’t you.” Saints, how much you wanted to punch him in his perfectly straight teeth just to swipe that awfully smug look off his face.

“Jesper, I just don’t feel like joining you today.”

“Oh come on, Y/N. After that job today I’m in need of a pick-me-up. Please?” Something inside you snapped at that point. Why couldn’t he just take a damn hint and leave you alone for once?

“And I’m in the need to get drunk and not be bothered by someone that doesn’t even know what he wants!” You wanted to take back the words as soon as they left your mouth. His behaviour was incredibly infuriating, however, that didn’t give you permission to lash out at him, nor to blame him for your feelings. You didn’t dwell on that sentiment for too long though, since before he could even begin to give you any type of response, you stood up and made your way towards the exit. He didn’t follow.

This man would eventually be the death of you if you didn’t

You hated the way he made you feel. The way every smile and touch coming from him made your heart spin. The way he always came to be at your side whenever you needed it. The way he put his arms around you so casually, even when it made your heart double its pace. Every single happy or comforting memory you had of him was terribly tainted by the fact that he just could be clear with his intentions.

The two of you had always been close, that was no secret. He was flirty, touchy and quite possibly one of the worst people to have a crush on. At first, the flirting between you had been completely innocent - as innocent as Jesper’s jokes could be - but over time, there seemed to be some hint of truth behind every cheeky comment or whispered flattery. You saw it in the glint of his eyes or the change of his breathing whenever you would reciprocate his advances.

However, Jesper was also terribly brash and constantly chasing a new high. He didn’t settle, or even show any interest in doing so. Love was a gamble and he was an addict. But just like every other addict, he could never have enough. And you were starting to get tired of waiting for him to figure it out. Because in contrast to him, your feelings were more than clear. You had confessed them to him after a drunken night out, and couldn’t look him straight in the eyes for weeks after that. He didn’t give you a concrete answer after that, only making it his mission to close your tab and bring you back home safely. Much to your surprise, that barely changed the relationship you had. His flirty comments did get a bit more genuine, but you just chalked his behaviour up to being the softest way to let you down. You should have been thankful for him not brutally crushing you with the inevitable rejection, but at the same time, him stringing you along like this only managed to agitate you more. You weren’t sure whether you just wanted him to outright tell you that he didn’t feel the same or whether you wanted to stay in the feeling of blissful ignorance induced by his teasing.

Today’s job had only been the icing on top of the cake.

“Why do we always have to be the decoy? Handsome decoy is not a Jesper talent.” The sharpshooter whined as he fumbled with the buttons of his emerald green vest. It looked a bit too tight for him, yet, he still pulled the look off amazingly well. If you hadn’t known that there were two revolvers tucked away in the holsters of his trousers, you wouldn’t have even begun to question his presence at this merchant’s banquet.

“But you do it so beautifully, Jes.” You grinned, giving him a playful slap to his biceps, which was even more pronounced by the tight white shirt he wore underneath his jacket. If Kaz would be listening in on your conversation, he would probably give both of you a whack with his cane and tell you to focus on the job at hand.

“I’m aware, but doing something beautifully isn’t the same as doing something skillfully.”

“That almost sounds like you’re talking about your attempts at flirting.”

“I beg your pardon? My flirting is as skilled as it can be, thank you very much! And for your information, flirting isn’t easy. Especially if it’s your job.” He explained, an overly serious expression on his face.

“Of course. It must be very hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pick-up line.”

“Brutal.”

You laughed, hoping that other people wouldn’t catch on to your ill-fitting jolly mood. Thankfully, you were only there to stand watch and not to do the actual dirty work. You were certain that wouldn’t have ended well for any of you. But from where you were standing, close to one of the three entrances to the banquet hall, no one did necessarily care about you. At least not until now.

Inej’s voice coming up from behind you almost made you pull out the dagger strapped to your leg, but Jesper was quick to seize your upper arm. Something seemingly went wrong, judging by her guarded expression, and you were on the edge to find out what she wanted to tell you.

“I have the intel.” Her breathing was ragged, as she threw unnerved glances behind her now and then. “They have seen me and I’m very very sure that they know who we are. We have to leave, but we can’t take the same route. You take this entrance, and I go out through the west one.”

“Inej, we-”

“No. Go.” With that, she had already disappeared into the crowd of wealthy sellers and merchants that still seemed to be utterly oblivious to what had just happened.

“Saints, Kaz’s attitude has been rubbing off on her,” Jesper grumbled, his hand still on your upper arm, only with a way softer grip. You couldn’t spend too much time appreciating his humour, since as soon as you let your eyes fly over the room again, you spotted three men in uniform crossing the hall. Even though they hadn’t seen you yet, they were definitely making their way towards your entrance.

“I think it’s time to go.” You yanked his hand away from your shoulder and took it in your own, before hurrying out the door. The Stadwatch was fast. Way faster than the two of you. And if they caught sight of your faces, you could only pray.

“What are you doing?” Jesper hissed, as he tried to keep up with your pace. The mansion was a maze and it was best to move through it as quickly as you could.

“Stadwatch. They’re coming towards us.”

“Stadwatch? Are you insane? We can never outrun them!” He slowed down ever so slightly, hanging onto you like an anchor.

“We have to try, Jes. Unless you have the intention of sleeping in a cosy cell in Hellgate tonight.”

“No, we can’t outrun them, Y/N. We have to hide.”

“Hide? Jesper, are you mad? Where do you want to hide?”

“Not where. How.” He retorted, pulling you into a rather secluded corridor as you heard steady footsteps approaching. Your back hit the cold cold wall whilst Jesper towered over you, his chest flushed against yours. His head was cocked slightly to the side in order to have a better view of the Stadwatch approaching. When they seemed to be only a few moments away from seeing you, he turned to look at you.

“Just play along.” He whispered, his hot breath fanning over your face, which was mere inches away from meeting yours. Your hands were on his upper arms in an attempt to put a bit of distance between you, however, that seemed to be the complete opposite of what he had in mind.

“Play along with wh-” You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before his lips clashing against yours cut you off. Everything happened so quickly that your brain just stopped working. His hands lingered on your waist, and the longer the kiss lasted, the dizzier you felt. You had to force your eyes shut to not get too invested in it. Kissing him was something you had always wanted to do, but now that it was finally happening, you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

Just play along.

You recalled his words. Up until this second, your hands were still on his arms, looking as if you were close to pushing him away. Without thinking about it, you threw your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer into the kiss, which you were now actively returning. As you did, you heard a muffled yelp coming from his mouth.

The steps that had been approaching slowed down as they passed you, but they didn’t stop. You felt your heartbeat speed up, and through the close proximity to Jesper, you could feel his heart doing the same. When the rhythmic clomping of their boots eventually became inaudible, he pulled away, leaning to the side in order to peek out into the adjacent hallway. His hands didn’t let go of your waist as he assessed your chances of getting out unnoticed, and you were thankful for that. You imagined that if he would dare to let go, your knees would probably give in.

“We’re in the clear.” He huffed, turning his face back to you with a devious grin. You saw him sober up a bit as he looked down at your dumbfounded face. Of course this meant nothing to him, you thought. He could continue on with his day just as if nothing happened, while you were left with the situation playing on repeat in your head. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. Just a bit dizzy.” You breathed. He was still close. Too close.

“I have that effect on people.” He didn’t give you much time to recuperate before reaching for your hand again and rushing towards the exit.

The kiss wouldn’t leave your mind, no matter how hard you tried to forget. You could still feel the pressure of his hands on your waist and taste the bitter tang of kvas on his lips. Running away from him didn’t necessarily help the knife twisting in your chest.

Since you couldn’t bear the feeling of loneliness that you got in your room, you resorted to the only retreat you knew - the roof. It was a stupid idea. Inej would have probably called you daft for going out there at night, especially not during fall. The roof was slippery and it wasn’t unlikely for the wind to pick up. But you just needed to be alone. Completely alone.

Without much thought, you sat down on one of the flat platforms, not caring about the way the wet tiles dampened your clothes. You looked down onto the streets of Ketterdam, focussing on all the little details. They weren’t what one would call crowded, however, enough drunkards and gamblers still staggered through the streets, either to find their way home or to find their way back to the next pub. You would give everything to just be in the shows of some poor drunk bastard whose only worry was what drink he should order next.

“You really have lost your mind, didn’t you?” A shaky voice emerged from a hatch that led out to the rooftop. You angled your head to look at the person wobbling over the slick tiles to get closer to you. Jesper wasn’t particularly fond of climbing or doing tasks that would rather be fit for Inej, so he obviously wasn’t very good at it. You would also suggest that he may have a fear of heights, which he vehemently denied.

“Get off the roof before you fall.” You demanded, anxiously watching him as he threatened to lose his balance.

“Will you join me inside if I do?”

“No, but-”

“Then it’s not happening, love.” You scooted a bit to the side, as he reached the scaffold, giving him some space to calm down. The light up here was pretty sparse and only now you could that he had immensely dressed down from what he wore before. Well, it was a dress-down for Jesper Fahey. He had removed his vest and most of the usual accessories, only being left with his white dressing shirt, brown suspended pants and the thick coat that had always been a little bit too baggy on him.

“Jesper,” You started but didn’t continue. What would you say? How could you even begin to apologize for your embarrassing outburst?

“Do you have any idea how cold it is up here?” You hadn’t even noticed the numbness of your fingers or the constant clattering of your teeth. It was a distraction, that was now completely unnecessary. He sat down next to you, eying you as if he was looking at a ghost. And as if he had to convince himself that you were, in fact, alive, his hand moved to touch yours. He flinched as his warm fingers met yours. You really must feel frigid. “Saints, you’re freezing.” Jesper shrugged off his jacket without a second thought, draping it over your shoulders and not giving in to your meek form of protest.

“Jesper, please.” What were you asking for? For him to leave you alone? For him to stop this lovey-dovey caring act? For him to finally reject you? “Please let me be alone for a bit.”

“I should leave you out here alone? To get sick? To fall off the roof? Absolutely not.” He rambled, scanning over your features, worry embedded in his gaze. “If you don’t want me to talk about it, I won’t talk. That’s fine, we can be lonely together. But I’m not letting you be miserable on top of a roof without supervision.” Why was he so damn complicated?

“Talk.” The word left your mouth before you could stop it.

“What?”

“Just…talk about whatever you came here to talk about. Talk, ask, yell, do whatever you want. Just get it over with, please.” Even though he definitely wasn’t pleased with your current sentiments, he gave you a subtle nod.

“I’m sorry if I upset you by asking you to join me earlier. You looked so unhappy, and I thought that it might cheer you up. I didn’t mean to be so stubborn.” Why was he the one to apologize to you now?

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Jes.” You sighed, facing him fully to at least grant him that decorum. The moonlight made him look ethereal. His gray eyes, which were still surrounded by an uneasy frown, basically pierced through you. Only the most prominent of his features were illuminated by the blue-ish light, making him look like some sort of mystical being. The fact that someone looking like him was currently preparing to reject you would make things a bit easier, you hoped. “I was a bit overwhelmed and I didn’t react properly. It’s not your fault.”

“Y/N, what is going on? Did I say something you didn’t like? If you tell me what it was I’ll stop.” Well, depends if kissing me and then just acting like nothing happened counts. “You started avoiding me after the job today and I don’t know what-” Realization dawned on him as he cut himself off. This was the part where you’d get hurt.

“It has nothing to do with you, I-”

“It was the kiss, wasn’t it?” An unfamiliar emotion travelled over his face, as he began to put two and two together. “I promise that I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, that was never my intention. It was just a means to an end and I’ll stop the flirting if that is what would make you feel better.”

“That’s the problem.” You whispered, not thinking that he would be able to hear it.

“What do you mean?”

Maybe it was time to rip off that bandaid.

“Maybe the fact that the kiss basically meant nothing to you is my problem. Your flirting isn’t the issue, it’s that you do it without feeling anything whilst doing it. I just need you to tell me that you don’t feel the same and then I can move on. But I can’t keep going like this. It’s driving me insane.”

“Feel the same? What are you saying?” This was not going well, was it? How could he be so oblivious?

“I love you, Jesper, okay? I love you, and it kills me that you continue to act as if we could just go on like normal whilst ignoring that fact.”

“You love me?” He looked shocked. Why the fuck did he look shocked?

“Yes? I already told you months ago?” Was he seriously toying with you while you were close to tears?

“You were drunk, I thought…I thought you didn’t mean it!”

“If everything we said whilst being drunk had been a lie, we would barely know each other.” You commented bitterly, waiting for his reaction.

Jesper smiled. Not an uncomfortable or polite smile, but a real toothy grin. A smile that he would normally have after coming back from a successful heist or after winning a round of Three Man Bramble once in a while. Also a smile he wouldn’t just give anyone.

“So the only reason for you being distant after kissing me was because you thought that I didn’t like you back?”

“Way to rub it in, Jesper.”

“And I thought that you just didn’t want to kiss me.” Saints, how you wanted to wipe that self-satisfied grin off his face…

“I didn’t. Not like that. Not when I know that the feelings are one-sided.” You replied groggily. Sometimes you hated how easy it was for him to wind you up. “And you’re really not making things any-”

You felt a tug at the collar of his coat, gently pulling you closer to him. It was almost like a déjà vu - him cutting you off in the middle of a sentence. But this time, it seemed to be completely genuine. Again, his hands moved under his jacket to hold onto your waist, the warmth of his palms giving you a certain fuzzy feeling in the pit of your stomach. With much less hesitation than the last time, you reached for the nape of his neck, only diving deeper into the kiss. His lips felt warm against yours a stark contrast to the harsh wind that previously assaulted you.

Even though you would’ve wanted the kiss to continue forever, at some point it was time for you to break apart. Your eyes were still closed when you pulled away, fearful that all of this would prove to be one of his cruel little games.

“Did you prefer it like that?” He asked, enticing you to slowly peel open your eyes. His eyebrows were raised as he stared at you expectantly.

“Does that mean that…”

“Yes. Since I assume that my constant flirting wasn’t enough to make that clear, I am in love with you, too.” He chuckled, giving you an incredulous look as if it had been more than obvious that he felt that way.

“It’s not exactly that obvious when you flirt with basically everyone.”

“Do you want me to kiss you again? Just to make my point clear, of course.”

“I think I’m in need of some more convincing so that would probably be a good way to bring your point across.”

“How could I deny you?” He smirked, his eyes drifting from your eyes to your lips before another gust of wind caused him to shiver. “But we’re definitely going inside after. I’m not in the mood to become a walking icicle.”

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Jesper Fahey: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @writingmysanity @fall-writes

[crazyxshit]

Nighttime Activities.

my blog is 18+ (minors dni) & remember you’re responsible for your own media consumption. 

likes, comments & reblogs are appreciated!

words: 2.3k

warnings: NSFW! slight breeding kink, penetration, oral sex, slight choking kink, angry sex with Matt! (argument about his daredevil activities)

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It was twelve am. You knew he had responsibility for his city. He was the infamous Devil of Hell's Kitchen. You knew, appreciated, and were patient about his identity. It took a long time for him to even tell you who he was even though you had your suspicions.

Even now, you could tell that he regretted telling you at times. You hated that he felt like that. That he had to push away everyone in his life for this life. You never let him push you away though. Every time he tried you tracked him down and didn't give up until he told you what was happening.

What you hate the most was waiting. The waiting for him to show up bloody, bruised, and limping. It scared you half to fucking death because you loved him so much. You were the one who would bandage him up and clean his cuts after all. As of lately, he seemed to barely be getting away with the type of people he's been dealing with.

Sitting on his couch, your nervous leg bouncing up and down as you bit down on your lower lip staring absently at your phone you waited. and waited.

It was nearing two am and you don't know when you fell asleep but the sound of a crash startled you. Fuck. Don't let it be anyone else but Matt you secretly prayed.

As you pulled yourself up from the couch, Matt's voice said your name which quickly reassured you. "What are you doing here?" He grunted out, taking off his headpiece while almost collapsing on a chair.

You quickly got out your medical supplies and placed them on the table, quickly getting to work on patching him up. There was blood on the side of his lip, as he clutched his side, giving away the fact he probably had a bruised rib. At least it wasn't that bad. That sucked for you say.

"Waiting for you," a sigh following the sentence as you clean the blood from his lip. "You should've gone home, I could do this myself." He hisses the sentence out defensively, causing you to roll your eyes. "Matt, we discussed this. Stop trying to push me away. It won't work." You tell him, placing a bandage on his ribs. He would need to rest but you knew more often than not, he wouldn't.

"Maybe it should." The three words ceased your actions. You knew he was just saying shit off the top of his head but you couldn't help to be hurt and angry. Why did he have to act so stupid at times? He walked past you, throwing his shirt somewhere standing in a pair of boxers.

"Shut up." You spit back, closing your medical kit, letting his words go into one ear through the other.

He sits on the leather chair in the middle of the room, his absent eyes looking in your direction. "You know I'm right. This is bad for you. You shouldn't have to worry about your boyfriend fighting crime at all hours of the night. Maybe you should go. Go find someone who can actually make you happy. Who can lie beside you and someone who you don't have to fight their war." He says the words with such ease it makes you sick to your stomach.  You knew he knew you loved him.

"God, you're an asshole. You know I love you. I don't want anyone else. I want you Matt Why can't you understand that? Why do you think you're so unlovable? That pushing away people are the solution. You did it to Foggy and Karen and now me." You knew you were calling him out. But you didn't care.

The tension in the chair was firey and tense. The air seemed to bubble up, the electricity between you both palpable. It burned hot, bright, and searing. Like at any point things could explode. In which they did.

Matt stands up and grips your jaw with one of his hands. "You don't know what you're talking about." He whispers, his voice filled with rasp and anger. The sudden action leaves you breathless. Matt's face was so close to yours all you could do was stare into his roaming eyes. Suddenly, you were trying extremely hard to be angry, but your body betrayed every thought. You willed yourself to stop the beating in your core and swallowed the dryness that seemed to fill your mouth.

"I do know what I'm talking about. I love you. And you love me. So stop acting as if people leaving you is going to help your heroic agenda." Softly whispering it. You didn't trust yourself to say anything more, afraid you were going to give up your rapidly beating heart and the wetness between your legs.

He didn't say anything just licked his lips. Fuck he wasn't helping. Then he fucking kisses you. Were you still mad? Yes. Were you going to sidetrack this argument? Yes.

Everything happens in an instant. His hand travels to your hair and then to your neck not squeezing just holding you possessively. His smooth lips attack yours, biting and licking at them. As he tugs on your hair roughly causing you to gaps, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth.

There's a short battle of dominance while you, interlock your hands, gripping his hair to pull him closer to you. It takes everything in you to not melt like putty in his hands.

He doesn't stop kissing you as he directs you both to his bed. Ripping your shirt off, unclasping your bra. His hands traveled all over. Your hands go from roaming over his bare chest to tugging on his hair. He does the same, tugging on your hair causing you to moan for him. Fondling with your breasts so he could hear your angelic whimpers. He wanted it all from you.

You were like his drug. One he couldn't get enough of. He wanted to worship your body, take his time with marking you. Matt knew his thoughts alone would condemn him but he secretly wanted to ruin you for anyone else. He tried to push you away so much, but each time you came back causing him to fall in love with you more and more each time.

He pushes you onto the bed, taking off your pants and panties in one motion. "You smell so sweet." He grunts against your skin-- licking, sucking, doing whatever he could do to leave his mark on your skin.

"Matt, please. I need you." You practically whimper for him. He makes his way higher--not giving you a warning before he delves deep into you. He works you with his tongue as he slips one finger into you slowly. Your hands immediately find his brown hair tugging on it, drawing him impossibly closer to you.

"Fuck. Matty." The words break out from you. You crave every second his warm tongue and finger are inside you. The feeling makes your body hot and your entire lower body seems to pulse with every passing second. You couldn't string together words just desperate moans and pleas for the man below you.

He speeds up, he slows down, he takes his time bringing you to your orgasm. He switches paces, going slow when he hears your heartbeat rapidly beating. He slips one finger inside you, curling it so it fills you to the brim. But goes fast as soon as your heartbeat relaxes. He adds two of his fingers, pounding them into your hold relentlessly as he draws your climax out, fucking you with his tongue and fingers in ways you've never felt. Sex with Matt has always been good but what he was doing felt different. Like he was ruining you for anyone else.

Matt knew you were on the edge of release. The way your pulse quickened to the way your legs wrapped around him, trying to suffocate his head between your legs. How your hips dug more into the bed like you were trying to escape his mouth. Gripping your hips he held you in place as he's let his tongue alone reach places even you were unaware of.

"Oh my god." You barely breathe out, your climax hitting you like a train as your eyes roll to the back of your head and your body goes weak. Matt smirks against you, liking his hips and spreading kisses all over your body a mix of his saliva and you.

He kisses your hips, making sure to suck and bite at the skin so it leaves marks. He trails up from there to between your breasts, gripping one of them with his hand, and sucking the other.

"Your body was made for me," Matt says, taking your breast into his mouth. You couldn't respond, the feeling so euphoric so you replied with a pleasurable moan. He smirks against your skin, switching from one breast to another, making sure to give each part of your body an equal amount of attention.

He eventually moves up from your chest, kissing your cheek "We're just getting started sweetheart." You look at him, fully out of your lustful phase. Sure enough, a mischievous smirk was on his face.

You catch on to what he says as his hard-on pressed into your thigh. "Did eating me out get you off?" A seductive tone took presence in your voice. It was your turn to smirk now. He chuckles, kicking off his boxers before bringing his face close to your ear. "Your pussy gets wet at the sight of me, so yes it does get me off." He states calmly but his deep voice says whispers, arising goosebumps all over your skin. Fuck he had you there.

He moves back to grip your leg, running his hand over your exposed pussy, collecting the wetness from it onto his hand to lather it to prepare his cock. His head drops, his hair covering his face a bit and It was a fucking hot sight to see.

He roughly but softly grips you closer to him by your throat, slamming his lips onto yours. His tongue slides in your mouth--tasting a hint of yourself. This kiss itself felt like magic. The type of kiss that makes you weak at your knees. The type of kiss that makes a knot form in your stomach. It's a kiss that makes you drunk on the feeling of whirlwind burning romance.

He grunts against your mouth, applying a small amount of pressure on the hand around your throat. Disconnecting from the kiss he presses his head against yours, both of you panting slightly. Tightening his bruising grip on your leg, he stables it around him while pushing you onto your back, your foreheads still pressed against one another slipping inside you in one smooth motion.

You moan as Matt grunts, the pleasure of your bodies connecting with each other. He moves slightly making sure to not cause you any discomfort. You guys could fuck non-stop but you could never adjust to the size of him. His dick seemed to find new ways to pierce your body from the inside and out.

"Do you feel us." Matt whispers, almost panting the words. "Yes." The short sentence squeaks out from you. "The way I slip in and out so easily." His sinful words only seem to make you wetter. You moan out a small pleasurable sound.

It wasn't enough. You wanted more. Wanted him closer. "Matt more. Please." You were shamelessly begging. You wanted your high. Craving it. "Use your words, sweetheart."He spat out. He started slowing down, knowingly teasing you until you specified what you wanted.

"Please. Fuck me. Harder. Faster. Anything please." You begged, gasping between each sentence. You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling his face to yours, wrapping your legs around his lower body. Desperately doing anything you can to bring him closer.

His body against yours was a feeling you dwelled in. He began a brutalizing pace, filling you in a completely different way. You could feel him everywhere. Your body was on fire and it was like he reached your stomach, fucking you in the best way possible. Bending your body in a bendable way that only he could do. His pace was hard and rough almost like he was punishing you with his cock.

"I'm going to fill you to the brim. I'm going to ruin you for anyone else. Your mine and mine alone." He emphasizes each word, each promise with a hard thrust. "Your close sweetheart. Come all over me. Give me everything you have to offer." He fucks you harder, despite also being close.

Your vision turns white, your body tetters on the edge of bliss as you scream out an "Oh god." finishing all over Matt. He fucks you through your orgasm, not giving you a second to breathe until he's satisfied himself. He does exactly what he wanted to do, finishing inside you and taking a moment to recollect himself.

He eventually peels himself off you and you didn't even realize he went anywhere until he comes back opening your legs to clean between your thighs. You sigh contently from being so sensitive. "Was I too harsh?" The concern in Matt's voice clearly evident.

"No, no." You try to reassure him, not knowing if he even heard you from how low your voice was. A moment later he slips next to you in bed. "I'm sorry, for the record. I love you and I know nothing I can do to make it up to you but I-" You cut him off with a sweet and tender kiss, not letting him finish.

"I know Matty." You used the nickname you called him when you were serious about something. "And I love you more." You whispered, draping an arm around him, resting your head under his. The overwhelming tiredness took over your body and sleep took over before you could register the rest of what he said.

"Impossible. I'd leave this city before that ever becomes true."

[stranger-marauders]

shattered

twenty-three: the dream

chapter summary: Kate tells the group about what she saw.

chapter warnings: language, steve's lil speech, canon-typical violence

word count: 3.7k

series masterlist | masterlist

KATE AND STEVE sat on Max's bedroom floor until after the sun rose.

No one had tried to bother them. Robin and Nancy had sat outside the door for a while, ready to go inside Max's room if he didn't stop yelling at her. Whenever they heard the light sobs from the other side of the door after the yelling had finally stopped, they moved to the living room with Eddie and the kids—Steve and Kate needed to be left alone.

Steve had probably cried more than Kate had as he squeezed her tight. He couldn't exactly explain why. Maybe it was because he'd almost died. Maybe it was because she'd almost died. Maybe it was because they'd both almost died again and they still hadn't come close to getting rid of Vecna.

He didn't want to let her go. He had started to fall asleep, the adrenaline that had been pumping through his body for hours starting to fade. Steve wasn't exactly in the most comfortable position with the way he was essentially laying on top of her, his head on her shoulder and his arms wrapped around her as she leaned against the wall still, but he didn't exactly care. She was safe, and that meant he could have a moment to relax.

Whenever the sun started peaking through the window, she rubbed his arm, not wanting to touch anywhere that had been scabbed over. "Steve."

"Hm?"

"It's morning."

He jerked up, turning to look out the window. "Shit."

"I know."

He sighed, moving to lean against the wall next to her. "You gotta tell them what you told me."

Horror flashed her face for half a second. "No. Absolutely not."

"Kathy, come on, you have to," he said. "I wouldn't... I wouldn't tell you to if I didn't think they didn't need to know."

"The kids don't need to hear that."

"The hell they don't. I can't do anything with what you told me, okay? Dustin, Nance, Robin, one of them... one of them might have an idea." He stopped himself whenever he saw her face. "What?"

She took a shaky breath. "I don't want to go through it again."

"You won't. I'm not... I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay? I won't, and neither will they." He took her hand in his, squeezing it tightly. "I'll be right there the whole time."

She turned to look at him again, squeezing his hand in return. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Kate finally told the rest of the group everything she had seen whenever she was under Vecna's spell.

She sat in one of the big chairs in Max's living room, everyone gathered around and focused on her. She felt like she was in some type of intervention that was staged against her, either that or she was in a group therapy session. Kate wasn't used to sharing her feelings, especially not with a group such as this one. Even when her father had died, she'd managed to remain as stoic as possible, not wanting to not seem strong. Now, though, she was being asked to share what she'd seen.

Kate met Steve's eyes again as he sat across from her. He nodded once, almost like he was encouraging her. You can do it. She sighed, looking to the floor. She thought if she accidentally met anyone else's eyes, she would break.

Her voice was hoarse as she spoke. "He... showed me... things that haven't happened yet. I mean, they were... terrible." She paused, trying to shake the images from her mind. "I saw... a dark cloud. Spreading over Hawkins. Downtown on fire. Dead soldiers. And this... giant creature with... a gaping mouth. And this thing, it wasn't alone." Her voice almost cracked. "There were so many monsters. An army. And they were... coming into Hawkins. Into our neighborhoods. Our homes. And then—" Kate paused, almost like she didn't want to go on— "he showed me El. The Byers. You guys." Steve. "And they... you were all..." She took a shaky breath to stop herself from sobbing again. She didn't want to watch them all die again.

"Okay, but...," Steve started, trying to talk her down again, "he's just trying to scare you, Kathy. Right? I mean... I mean, it's not real."

"Not yet," she said, almost inaudible. "But there... there was something else. He showed me these... these gates. Four of them. Spreading across Hawkins. And these gates, they looked like the one inside of Eddie's trailer, but... they didn't stop growing. And this wasn't the Upside Down Hawkins." Another tear slipped down her face. "This was our Hawkins. Our home."

At first, no one knew what to say. The thought of Hawkins being engulfed by the Upside Down almost didn't make any sense. After an idea hit Max, she finally spoke up. "Four chimes." When everyone turned to look at her, she continued. "Vecna's clock. It always chimes four times. Four exactly."

"I heard them, too," Kate said softly.

"He's been telling us his plan this whole time."

"Four kills," Lucas said, understanding what she meant. "Four gates." He hesitated to finish, almost unable to look at Max. "End of the world."

"If that's true," Dustin said, almost horrified, "then he's one kill away."

Eddie cupped his face in his hands. "Jesus Christ."

Steve looked over to Max, making her go to the phone. "Try 'em again. Try 'em again!"

Max typed in the Byers' home phone number into the landline, trying for what seemed like the hundredth time attempting to reach them. Kate had tried telling them that there was no use, and so had Nancy. The line had been busy for days now, which wasn't helping her nerves in the slightest. Max once again proved her point whenever she hung up the phone. "Rang a few times, then went to a busy signal."

"I told you," Kate said softly, almost as if she had no hope for them. She could only hope that Jonathan, Will, Mike, and El were safe. Alive.

"Maybe you punched it wrong," Steve said, trying to remain hopeful. "Try again."

"I didn't punch it in wrong," Max said defensively.

"Well, I mean, I don't know."

"I think she knows how to use a phone," Dustin said to Steve.

"I'm just saying, she could've typed it in wrong."

Max rang the phone number again, the same few rings and busy dial tone droning before she hung it up. "Same shit."

"How is that possible?"

"Joyce has this telemarketer job. Always on the phone. Mike won't stop whining about it," Dustin said.

"Yeah, but this phone's been busy for, what, three days now?" Max asked. "That's not Joyce. No way. Something's wrong."

"She's right. It can't be just coincidence. It can't be," Nancy said. She then looked at Kate. "When was the last time you talked to them?"

She shrugged absently, almost like she truly didn't know. She stood up, taking a couple of steps closer to Max. "I–I don't know, the day I came here, I guess."

Nancy walked over to the window. "Whatever's happening in Lenora is connected to all of this. I'm sure of it." She paused. "But Vecna can't hurt them."

"Not if he's dead," Kate said, turning everyone's attention to her. "We have to go back in there. Back to the Upside Down."

"Nope."

"Woah, no, no, no. What?" Steve said, standing up and throwing his hands in the air. He couldn't believe that she, even after being in trance by Vecna, would even suggest such a thing. "Let's think this through, okay?"

"What is there to think through?" she replied somewhat bitterly as he walked over toward her.

"We barely made it out of there in one piece!"

"Yeah, because we weren't prepared," Nancy said, stepping in to defend Kate. "But this time, we will be. We'll get weapons and protection. We'll go through the gate, we'll find his lair, answer'll kill him."

"Or he'll kill us!" Steve said. He couldn't believe that Nancy was agreeing with her. He looked at Kate whenever he spoke again. "The only reason you survived is because he wanted you to. He's not scared of us."

"And for good reason," Robin said, standing up to join the argument. "We were wrong about Vecna. Henry. One. Sorry, what are we calling him now?"

"One," Dustin and Lucas said.

"Vecna," Erica answered.

"Henry," Kate and Nancy said.

"Right," Robin replied, still not getting a clear answer. As she spoke, she grew increasingly anxious. "We've learned something new about Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One. He's a number like Eleven, only a sick, evil, male, child-murdering version of her with really bad skin. But my... m–my point is, he's super powerful. He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It's not a fair fight!"

"Then why fight fair?" Dustin asked. "You're right. He's like Eleven. But that gives us an upper hand. We know Eleven's strengths and weaknesses."

"Weaknesses?" Erica asked.

"Believe it or not, she does have them," Kate said, shrugging slightly.

"When El remote-travels, she goes into this sort of... some trance-like state. I bet the same is true of Vecna."

"That would explain what he was doing in that attic," Lucas said.

"Exactly. When he attacks his next victim, I'll bet you he's back in that attic, physical body defenseless."

"Defenseless, yeah?" Steve asked, unimpressed. He pointed to his neck where there was a ligature mark still outlining where he'd been choked by a bat's tail. "What about the army of bats?"

"Right. We will... have to find a way past them. Distract them somehow."

"And, uh, how do we do that, exactly?" Eddie asked, standing up.

"No idea," Dustin said, making Eddie sit back down. "But once they're gone, he doesn't stand a chance. It'll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin."

"That all sounds good in theory, but there is no pattern to Vecna's killings. At least not one that I can decipher," Robin said. "We don't know when he's going to attack next. We don't even know who he's going to attack."

"Yeah, we do," Max said softly, making everyone turn toward her again. "I can still feel him. I'm still marked. Cursed." She paused. "I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me."

"Max, you can't," Lucas said, almost begging. "He'll kill you."

"I survived before. I can survive again." Lucas, however, wasn't pleased with her words. "I just need to keep him busy long enough so that you guys can get into that attic. Then you can chop his head off. Stab him in the heart. Blow him up with some explosive Dustin cooks up. I honestly—I really don't care how you put this asshole in his grave, just... whatever you do... try not to miss."

Even though no one truly liked the idea, not a single one of them protested.

Eddie quickly had them all gathered at Max's dining room table.

"Check this out. The War Zone," he said, opening up a page in the phone book. "I've been there once. It's huge. They got everything you need for, uh... well, killing things, basically."

"Do you think fake Rambo has enough guns there?" Robin asked, pointing to the picture on the ad. "Is that a grenade? I mean, how is any of this legal?"

"Well, lucky for us, it is, so...," Eddie said, trying to get back on track.

"Isn't it outside of Hawkins?" Kate asked, looking over his shoulder to look at the ad. "The store, I mean?"

"Yeah, this... this place is just far enough outside of Hawkins. As long as we steer clear of the main roads, we oughta be able to avoid cops and, uh... angry hicks."

"If we're trying to avoid angry hicks, maybe we shouldn't go to some store called the War Zone," Erica said.

"Normally, I'd agree, but we need the weapons, so I think it's worth the risk," Nancy replied.

"Me too," Lucas said.

"Yeah, but is it worth the time?" Dustin asked. "It'll take all day to bike there and back."

"Who said anything about bikes?" Eddie asked.

"What, you got some sort of car we don't know about?" Steve asked.

Eddie stood up straighter next to him, looking at him somewhat affectionately. "It's not exactly a car, Steve. And it's not exactly mine, but, uh... it'll do." He turned to Max. "Hey, Red, uh, you got a ski mask or a bandanna, something like that?"

Max hesitated before grabbing him a Michael Myers mask, specifically the one that she wore for her Halloween costume two years ago. Once Eddie got his toolkit and put on his mask, he led the group of nine through the trailer park. Whenever Kate found that Eddie was heading toward a mobile trailer, she almost couldn't believe she was assisting in stealing it. The thought, however, quickly left her: she'd done worse.

Eddie jumped through the window of the back of the RV, taking the mask off of his face as Steve jumped in after him. "That was suffocating."

"Go! Come on," Steve said softly, helping Kate, Robin, Nancy, and the rest of the kids through the window.

Eddie locked the front door of the trailer, sitting down in the driver's seat as he began hot-wiring the vehicle. Steve and Kate came up behind him, watching as he started working on the RV.

"Where'd you learn how to do this?" Steve asked, somewhat worried.

"Well, when the other dads were teaching their kids how to fish or play ball, my old man was teaching me how to hot-wire. Now, I swore to myself I wouldn't wind up as he did, but now, I'm wanted for murder, and soon, grand theft auto. So, uh, yeah, I'm really living up to that Munson name."

Robin came up behind Steve and Kate, putting her hands on her shoulders. "Uh, Eddie, I'm not sure I love the idea of you driving."

"Oh, I'm just starting this sucker." Eddie then looked to Steve, smiling affectionately. "Harrington's got her." He moved in closer to his face. "Don't ya, big boy?"

Whenever Steve gave a flustered look, Kate's eyebrows furrowed together: was he actually embarrassed by that, and quite possibly enjoyed that? She also seriously wanted to ask Eddie if he had a crush on Steve because there was no way he would say that and always look at him so affectionately without being slightly interested. Before she could ask any questions aimed at either of them, however, Eddie started the Winnebago, which caused the owners just outside lots of distress.

"Hey! Open this door!" the woman shouted, banging on the window. "They locked the door!"

Steve looked absolutely horrified.

"Shit, go!" he shouted, pushing Eddie out of the way as he jumped into the driver's seat. Kate sat in the passenger's seat, watching him as he tried to figure out how to drive it. "It's just a car," he mumbled. "Everybody, hang onto something!"

"Oh my God! Let's go!"

"Drive, Steve! Drive!"

"Go, go, go!"

Steve, still barefoot, floored the gas pedal, making the RV lurch forward suddenly. He drove as fast as he could out of the trailer park, everyone screaming at him to go.

"Shit, they look pissed," Dustin said, looking out the back window.

"I mean, it's not every day you lose your house and car in one fell swoop," Robin replied, bouncing around because of Steve's driving.

"Hold on! Hold on!" Steve shouted as he hit a couple of trash cans, doing his best at attempting a complete and fast turn.

As they turned out of the trailer park, Steve slowed down, trying to make it less obvious that he'd never driven a Winnebago and that they didn't just steal one. It took a while, but he eventually got the swing of it. Kate had tried to let him focus on driving, not saying a word for a while. She knew how he got extremely particular with such a thing—she had only driven them somewhere a few times, more specifically whenever he'd had concussions in the past, because she, apparently, drove much too fast for his liking.

"How's it handle?" she finally asked whenever he had seemed to calm down a bit.

"Not half bad," he replied, keeping his eyes on the road. "Considering that this is a... house."

Kate stifled a laugh, nodding slightly. "I never want to hear you complain about my driving again after pulling out of there like that."

"Jesus Christ, this was a one-time thing," he said, somewhat annoyed. "You always drive like that, okay? Like, always. I mean, seriously, who taught you how to drive?"

"You did, you asshole!"

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a minute before remembering that he had, in fact, been the first person to attempt to teach her how to drive sometime around sophomore year of high school. "Oh yeah."

She rolled her eyes. "Dick."

He chuckled, looking back at her for just a second. Whenever he saw she was attempting to suppress a smile, his stomach twisted into knots. He thought about what Eddie had said to him earlier that night: something about unambiguous signs of love, whatever that was supposed to mean. He thought that maybe he could try to win her back like Eddie said, but at the same time, he had no idea where to start.

He looked back at her again. "Yeah, it's... it's silly, but I–I've actually... I always had this dream that I'd have this, like... this really, really big family."

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she stifled a laugh. While the comment seemingly came out of nowhere, she'd known that about Steve since they were probably in middle school, mostly because of how his parents were. He'd wished that he had siblings, someone that would truly understand what it was like to have his parents, more specifically his dad. Even when he got older, he wished he had at least one other sibling, just because his house was so lonely whenever his parents weren't home. Because of that, Kate knew that Steve had always wanted a bigger family whenever he got older. "I know."

"No, I'm talking, like, uh... a full brood of Harringtons. It's, like... five, six kids."

"Six?" Kate asked, looking at him as if he was crazy. She hadn't realized he'd wanted six kids. "Your poor future wife."

"What?" he asked, confused. "I mean, it's just six little nuggets. Three girls, three boys."

"Just? That's six separate times someone has to push a child out of them." She shook her head. "Also, you know you can't, like... control that, right? Whether it's a girl or a boy? I mean, unless you adopt them, which would make this situation much easier for everyone involved—"

"Okay, then just the six kids. No preference." He paused to chuckle. "But, uh... every summer, I figured all of us Harringtons, we would pack into something like this and... just see the country. You know, the Rockies, Grand Canyon, maybe Yellowstone." He looked back at her again, almost smiling. "End up in some beachside town in California. Spend a week parked in the sand. Learn how to surf or something."

"I mean, in a way, that... sounds nice, I guess," Kate said, shrugging.

He looked back at her again. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kate grimaced. "Well, uh, except for the six kids part. That sounds like... a total nightmare for, like, multiple reasons."

"If only I had practice," Steve said sarcastically, motioning to the kids in the back.

Kate nodded reluctantly. "All right. Fair. That's... fair." She sighed. She couldn't believe they were only having this conversation now, even though they'd dated for a long time. She hadn't realized he wanted that many kids. Robin had been right in what she'd said about them last summer: they never did really talk about anything serious like that during their relationship. Then she wondered if Robin knew about this. Robin couldn't know about this—Kate would've known about it before now if he'd told Robin about this. Besides, if Robin knew, she would never let him live this down.

"What about you? You, uh... ever thought about it?"

She sighed. "I don't know, I just... I've never thought about that."

"I didn't think so."

She shook her head. "No, like... I've never thought about, like, what my life would be like... later. Like, I kinda... I don't know." She didn't know how to say she hadn't really thought about making it past twenty years old without sounding insanely depressed. "I just can't imagine myself having kids, you know? Being someone's mom." She hesitated. "I don't know, I think my mom scared it out of me. After everything she's done."

Steve frowned slightly. Kate's mother, Diane, had left her father and her whenever she was eleven, about half a year after her biological sister Sara had died. Both events had almost killed her father, and Kate hated her biological mother for doing it. She'd gotten remarried to a boring man, had had another daughter while simultaneously forgetting about her oldest kid. Over the summer, whenever Kate's father had died, Kate had reached out to Diane for the first time in years, just to let her know. Diane had come to Hawkins and Kate saw her three times: once alone, once with Steve, and once at the funeral. When she'd first judged Kate, twisting everything around like it was her fault, she hadn't argued. She'd only blown up on Diane the second she judged both Steve and her father at a dinner with the both of them; that was something she wouldn't tolerate.

To say the least, Kate didn't like her biological mother very much.

Steve looked back at her for a moment. "I–I think you're really great with kids."

"What?"

"I mean it." He motioned to the kids behind him again absently. "Those guys back there? They... They love you. All of those little shits think you're the coolest person they've ever met."

She shook her head. "I'm sure that's not true."

"I mean, maybe not the coolest, okay, but one of the coolest, for sure." He paused. "You're their hero. Not only have you saved their asses multiple times, but you... you're just so good to them. I still hear about that nerdy game book you got Dustin last Christmas. Max still even has some of the cassettes you gave her, and I know that because I've seen your initials on the cases." He stopped himself, chuckling almost. "I mean, Jesus, think about El. You practically raised her, Kathy, and you still do. These guys, they worship you. They love you."

Kate didn't know what to say. The thought of the kids loving her nearly as much as they loved Steve hadn't ever occurred to her. She knew El loved her, obviously, because she was her sister, and she had somewhat of an unconventional relationship with Max, but the other four boys? Dustin? She hadn't ever thought so, but the thought did warm her heart.

Whenever he spoke again, she quickly looked back at him. "And screw your mom, okay? You're not... You're not like that, okay? You're not like that at all." He paused again, almost hesitating. "I... I think you'd be a good mom, okay? Trust me."

She pressed her lips together. "I think you'd be a great dad."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

And Kate, for the first time in her life, thought about life after twenty years old.

next chapter

taglist:

@thatsonezesty13 @cece5298 @thepowerstoner @alovelytardis @coolchick333 @stand-tall-pineapple @littlet-holmes @guichu @cinderellacauseshebroke @blackbirddaredevil23 @mads-weasley @ilovemarauders @pearlstiare @liableperfections @khaylin27 @girlwiththerubyslippers @cyarikaaa

[dysfunctionalmaki]

To Realize

Main Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader

Summary: Natasha's been connecting all the dots about how she feels about you, it's up to her to how she'll handle the situation.

A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot until... I wanted to base it on the whole Black Widow movie :"))

Warnings: none, let me know if there's any.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Your last interaction with your father didn't go well, he simply told you that Secretary Ross is now after you and Natasha after helping Steve, and Bucky to get in the Quinjet while T'challa was after them.

Quickly tackling the king of Wakanda on the ground, while Natasha shot something at him to give Rogers and his friend time to take off, as soon as the jet flew away, you removed your arms that are restraining him.

"Your father will hear about this, and you too Miss Romanoff." The exact words that came out of T'challa, and now you're on the run with Natasha, considered as a global fugitive.

Your father looked at you with disappointment when he mentioned that Ross will be chasing you and the latter, you looked at Natasha before she took your hand and leading you out, taking you to who knows where.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"You miss your daddy?" Natasha spoke while driving, you chuckle at her words then resting your head against the car window. "Hmm, kinda, so what are we doing here in Norway?" You ask the latter.

"Well, you've noticed that Ross is after our asses after assaulting the King of Wakanda, and helping Steve and Barnes escape the airport, I believe we should lay low, right?" She propped her elbow by the window, resting her head on her knuckle as she drives with one hand. "Oh? I didn't know that." You replied sarcastically, making Natasha roll her eyes.

"What I mean is, why Norway of all places?" Now you're kindly asking, arms crossed over your chest and slowly drifting off to sleep, exhausted after hours of traveling, without Daddy's private planes, sports car, and Quinjet also.

Natasha noticed how your voice softens, a long yawn coming out of your mouth, and quickly glancing at you. "Ross has no jurisdiction here, his boys would stay away from here for the time being." She answered, you softly nodded and replied with an 'okay' almost a whisper with how silent it was.

In a split second, you're already fast asleep at the passenger seat, both arms hugging yourself and your head resting against the window. Nat maintained her eyes on the road as she attempts to reach for a blanket she stashed in the backseat, after few shifts in her place, the Russian managed to grab the cloth.

She gently placed the soft blanket over you, and now focusing herself on driving, for some reason, she has always felt this warm feeling in her heart when she's alone with you, adoration maybe?

Your peaceful state while you're in deep slumber, and hearing your soft snores as she admires the view of the landscape, she would offer everything she has just to stay like this most of the time.

The thought caught her off-guard, why would she want to spend all of her time with her friend's daughter? She shrugged the thought off from her mind, she knows what love feels like, she felt it with Bruce until Hulk decided to drive off somewhere they won't find him.

She did get sad because of it, but she chose to move forward and move on, successfully removing any romantic feelings for Banner, focusing on her work as an Agent and an Avenger.

But why is she feeling this way with you? Her heart melts when she sees you getting all excited when you've successfully upgraded your techs, how she would automatically smile when her eyes would catch you smiling, and how she feels warm when you're there to ease her mind when a mission didn't go as planned.

She's now connecting the dots, using the silence and peace surrounding her, she got time to think about herself and her feelings towards Tony Stark's daughter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

After half an hour of the drive, you slowly wake up from your nap, looking around the surroundings you're in the middle of the woods, Natasha's still driving. "Good uhh... Evening?" You greeted Nat with your groggy voice.

Natasha stopped the car beside the safehouse, which is a caravan and you don't mind, you can't really call your father to get you a 5-star hotel to stay in. "Did you manage to replenish your energy?" She asked, unbuckling her seat belt and you did the same.

Getting out of the car, she has her gun out and you also have one on your hand, staying alert until both of you heard a loud snore in the room. Natasha immediately returned to her relaxed posture before heading into where the sound belongs, and she found her contractor sleeping.

Kicking his foot that is off the bed, the man immediately woke up. "You're sleeping in my bed." Natasha commented, "I'm not even under the covers." He replied, then his eyes trail at you, awkwardly looking away noticing that the two seemed close.

"I've got what you asked for, fake IDs, drivers licenses, and some VISAs, also for Miss Stark too, just like what you've told me to do." He says as he handed out the fake identifications to Natasha, while reading, the Russian frowned upon what she just read. "Really? Fanny Longbottom?"

"That is a legitimate name." He defended himself, them Natasha handed your fake IDs, taking a good look at them and you're amazed about how real they seem to be. "Thank you...?" You softly spoke.

"Rick, Rick Mason." He introduced himself, and you shook his hand also introducing yourself, with little chit-chat soon after the man left leaving you and Natasha alone.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

An hour has passed it's already dark out, you're currently sitting by the front door, knees up to your chest, and you already felt homesick, Natasha's company is nice honestly, but the feeling of being far away from your father and home sucks.

Natasha looks at you while you're way too busy gazing at the woods, she knows you aren't used to this type of setup, running away from authorities, and far from home, she felt bad for you.

She walks up behind you, making sure you're aware of her presence before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm going to watch a movie on my laptop, feel free to join me, I'm also eating the ice cream we bought at the convenience store earlier." She softly spoke before leaving you alone.

Minutes after, you finally stood up from where you are sitting and closing the front door, almost dragging your way to Natasha. Two bowls of ice cream in front of her, and her laptop already on, she was waiting for you.

You placed yourself beside her, head resting on her shoulder then she plays the movie on the screen, lazily taking a spoonful of the cold treat in your mouth, and eyes glued on the screen, but you weren't paying attention to the movie, you're spacing out.

"Hey, Y/N? Are you okay?" Of course, not, Natasha knows damn well you aren't okay, she thought that it's a dumb question. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" You answered just like your father, she paused the film and causing you to look at her. "No, you're not okay, and that's okay." She says before taking you into her arms.

You're surprised actually, Natasha isn't usually the one who initiates physical contact but here she is, her arms wrapped around your body. You needed this, you needed to feel home and somehow being hugged by Natasha feels like it.

Burying your face at her shoulders then you knew you're melting in her arms, it almost brought the tears out of you, as if her touch is enough the lift the burden you've been feeling.

Natasha feels like home.

You try not to think anything about the affection she just gave, but damn, you think you'd go batshit crazy if you won't get to experience this again.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Let's be clear here, you've had a crush on Natasha while she's still Natalie, then as soon as Fury revealed that she is some secret agent, you were so amazed that you started liking her, though she didn't contact after that.

You weren't part of the Avengers initiative, but you did join them in the battle of Sokovia, but she and Banner have a thing going on, so you've decided to set those feelings aside. Which you successfully did for a few months, and after Bruce flying who knows where maybe you can make a move?

So you did, you would jokingly flirt around Natasha, and your father would give a questioning look then you slowly back away, but you were also a great friend to Nat, it's just that you can't seem to get all romantic with Natasha.

Just as much of a playboy your father is, that's all his, you suck at this type of thing, so Nat probably thought you're just a caring and affectionate person.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

You gently pull away from Natasha's grasp, and she looks at you with her emerald eyes. "Better?" She asked, placing a hand on your cheek softly caressing your skin. "Much better, thank you." She smiled with your answer, the next thing you know is that you're way too close to her, and you're looking at her plump lips.

This would be a perfect time to make a move.

You hold the back of her hand that is on your cheek, slowly closing in, and Natasha is leaning closer, so near that you could feel each other breathing, just when your lips were about to touch hers... the power died.

Nat cleared her throat and awkwardly moving away, removing her hand away from you and she stood up. "I'm just going to check the power generator." She says before going outside.

Her face turned red as soon as she was out of your sight, she got way too vulnerable with you, she almost kissed you but she sure knows she's going to like it but no, not at a time like this.

She tried to get the power back on, only to find that there's no more fuel in the generator, she came back inside finding you eating ice cream in the corner, and probably waiting for her to come back.

"I'm going to a gas station, do you want to come with me?" She asked, you nodded before getting off your ass and bringing yourself into her car, there's this awkward tension between the two of you, and as soon as she started driving, the silence swallowed the two of you.

"Can I turn the radio on?" You asked her, she simply nodded while eyes fixated on the road, you played the radio, and Sia's Cheap Thrills came on. "Damn, even here? When is this song going to die?" You commented.

Natasha taps her fingers on the steering wheel according to the beats, despite hearing the song over and over whenever you would turn on the radio, you still liked it.

Midway through the song, you felt chills on your body, and as soon as you look at the window beside you, suddenly you see an RPG heading towards the car.

"Nat—" Before she could react it has already hit the car causing an explosion, now the vehicle is hanging on the edge of the bridge, and with one wrong move it'll head straight down to the water. "Ooh, fuck that hurts." Hissing as you try to collect yourself and trying to fight the headache it caused.

Natasha on the other hand is in pain and boy, she's mad. "I'm pretty sure Ross has no jurisdiction here, and you should know that I'm a better shot when I'm pissed off," Nat spoke before firing few bullets at the person, you look at her and biting your lip, finding her hot.

"Wow, that's hot..." You spoke under your breath but Natasha heard, glaring at you. "Really? At a time like this?" She says, before heading out of the car when you tried to get out Nat stopped you. "How long can you hold your breath?" She asked. "Last time I beat Sam it was a good 4 minutes and a half."

"As soon as this psycho comes close enough, I'll push you into the water, it's not after us." She says you look at her as if she's speaking lies. "Nat, I'm not leaving you here–" before you could protest, you felt her lips against yours it was quick but you know damn well, that Natasha kissed you.

"I'll meet you down there, I promise." She says before a shield comes charging towards her, and managed to avoid it, yet it hit the car, now you're falling off the bridge and you suddenly noticed a small case on her hand.

You quickly got out of the car before it could hit the water, then you swam heading to safety where the one who ambushed wouldn't see you.

Closing your eyes hoping that Nat would come back to you in one piece, there's no way you'll let her die after kissing you, of course, you wanted to fight but your body just wouldn't.

You can't risk losing Natasha now.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Next Part: To Remember

[norangeyyy]

Late Night HCs

Bucci Gang Edition

TW: nothing too extreme, just a little bit of hurt/comfort stuff sprinkled right here and there.

Bruno Bucciarati

► Bucciarati typically doesn't stay up late at night, he has work and would squeeze all the amount of sleep he can get on his free time.

► Unless he has a lot of things in mind.

► It doesn't matter whether it's a work-related problem, his past, a random thought, or just generally his worries about his future. It will keep him up.

► He'll definitely need someone to be an outlet but if no one's available, he'll just stare at the night sky and distract himself with the moving clouds or finish some of his work until he's too tired to think of anything.

► If you happen to be in the same situation and same place that night though, then make sure that you take care of the trust he has for you when he was at most vulnerable and he will do same with you.

► I personally headcannon Bucciarati to be the type to like those kind of conversations since i highly doubt that he has been so vulnerable in front of anyone besides Abbachio ever since he joined the mafia.

► And even then, he's mostly the one who lifts the spirits up and not the other way around since he's the leader.

► So expect to hear things and words you wouldn't expect to come from the Bucciarati you see everyday come spilling out of his mouth, it'll be a lot.

► Pat his back or better yet, give him a hug and brush his hair while doing so. He needs it a lot since he hasn't really got one after his family fell apart.

► "I feel so much better now, thank you. I'll make sure not to forget about this night. "

Leone Abbachio

► The night owl of the gang.

► Staying up until 3AM is nothing new to this man, hell, he could even go on a whole day without sleep if he has a lot of things that's bothering him.

► He's the opposite of Bucciarati, he prefers to shoulder his intrusive thoughts alone. It'd take some great amount of effort and trust to make him talk and let it out.

► What he does during those times is either using his stand to replay certain memories that could either worsen his guilt or put him at ease, or just drink until he passes out but most of the time, he does both.

► He could also be listening to some music while he does so but if he's feeling guilty for making Bucciarati concerned about his frequent drinking, then he'll just listen to music and hope that he'll fall asleep and not just keep his eyes closed until the sun rises.

► It works, kind of, but even without alcohol driving him to sleep, he'll always be tired. His sleeping schedule is seriously messed up because he never really cared about it in the first place.

► Would sometimes go out for a walk. Leone is fond of the city's peacefulness when everyone is asleep, with the only thing keeping him accompany is the cold air and the dim light of the lampposts.

► Secretly still has his police uniform and would occasionally take it out just to stare at it or talk to it in a not-so-kind of way as he sees his younger self in it.

► Gets dragged in whatever shit Narancia and the others are up to if he gets spotted. Mostly it's just for a movie night behind Bucciarati's back but Abbachio knows better and expects the unexpected when it comes to the gang.

► Knows what everyone does in late night if they're still up and has seen a lot of ungodly sights.

► Whether it be seeing a sleepy Mista and the pistols chanting a weird prayer to a bowl of cereals or Fugo being dragged out of his room by Narancia, Leone knows it.

Pannacotta Fugo

► Just like Bucciarati, Fugo rarely stays up late at night and if he does, it's usually just because he's busy.

► Fugo has hobbies like painting and reading, everyone in the gang knows that. It's just that he gets carried way too far sometimes and loses track of time.

► Who could blame him though when the book he's reading is just too interesting or the painting he's currently working on is almost done, right?

► On extremely rare occasions where something unpleasant enough to keep Fugo up at night happens, he'll bundle himself in his fluffy blanket like a butterfly in its cocoon.

► He always does this back when he's still living with his parents, it makes him feel safe from anything that's haunting him.

► And if it's neither his hobbies or problems that's keeping him up, he'll just hear Narancia whispering outside his door or Mista throwing pebbles at his window.

► For the first few times the duo did this, Fugo was still able to resist until he just can't anymore knowing that they wouldn't leave him alone all night.

► "Well, this isn't so bad. "

► He says as he enthusiastically tosses a popcorn into his mouth with his eyes glued all over the lit screen of the TV.

► Movie nights, along with sneaking out to go the nearest convenience store, became a common thing between the Torture Dance Trio™ ever since then.

Narancia Ghirga

► The type to wake up in the middle of the night and think "Hmm... Everyone's asleep, let's commit robbery tonight!"

► Fugo's sleep paralysis demon.

► Would literally not hesitate to steal chocolate bars with Mista and probably does 3AM challenges with him too.

► Never runs out of ideas to keep himself up at night and is the one who comes up with everything but what he does still depends on his mood.

► If Narancia's feeling a little too lazy then he'll just sleep and most of the time, with music keeping him accompany. But unlike Abbachio, he purposely doesn't wear headphones just to annoy Fugo whose room is right next to his.

► If he's feeling like it, he'll straight up just invite the others to watch a movie or play videogames even though Bruno has already made it clear not to use the TV after 11PM.

► But just as he likes staying up at night doing crazy things with the boys, he also uses his energy left and free time to self-study, as surprising that may sound.

► He may hate reading but he takes advantage of the fact that his brain is much active at night and he doesn't want to depend on Fugo too much. After all, he dreams on going back to school and he's more than willing to be capable enough to do so alone and pass without the other teen's help.

► Will cuddle anything that's near him while he studies but if you give him a plushie, it'll be instantly his favorite and he would definitely use it as a study buddy.

Guido Mista

► Alright, let's be honest here, this dude wouldn't even stay up if it weren't for his bros.

► 5 seconds lying on the bed and he's already knocked out for a good 10 hours if there's no work he has to do for the day. Make it 8 at weekdays thanks to his mafia-related responsibilities.

► He sleeps like a log so only a combination of shaking him up awake with Fugo and Narancia can make him rise from what seems like a two year coma but is really just a normal tuesday night.

► Will pretty much join Narancia at anything he does but since his last three brain cells are obviously still as half asleep as him, he won't be able to remember that much the next day.

► And once he's out of the room and is already sitting on the couch with the guys, Mista's the type to fall asleep halfway through the movie.

► You can't blame him though, it's 12AM and it seems that Fugo got to choose what movie they'll watch since Narancia already got to choose the other night.

► Unless they're playing videogames or are going out then he won't be acting like a slow ass PVZ zombie with a fried brain. Actually, he'll be hella active if that's the case.

► Active at grabbing every snack each second, that is.

► Actually, it's the pistols who does that but oh well, it's not like Mista's innocent too.

► "I swear it's not me who ate all of our groceries for this month! Right, guys?! It's the pistols! "

► And that, everyone, is how Guido blew their little rendezvous without even trying.

Giorno Giovanna

► There's not much to be said about this boy since just like Mista, Giorno goes to bed early as he makes sure he still gets the proper amount of sleep.

► He already has a lot of things to deal with at day so of course, by the end of it, he'll be exhausted.

► Nights before exams are excluded because although he may seem like he skips class sometimes, Giorno still knows his priorities.

► Only when he became the head of the mafia did he really started to lose sleep as great power comes with great responsibilities.

► It took a LONG time for Giorno to adjust to a lot of things cause come on, he maybe resilient but he's still a 15 year old teen.

► Not only does he have towers after towers of work but i like to imagine that he still continued his education and used some of the things he learns in class in the mafia, specifically in classes like history or geography class since as a boss, he has to know every nook and cranny of Italy.

► Not to mention that emergencies happen and he always has to be ready to give out orders, even if it means being woken up at 1AM.

► God, help this child because all the things mentioned above are just an understatement of what happens on the first few months of being in charge of Passione.

► "So this is why Diavolo looks like he's about to explode whenever something goes wrong huh. "

[fics-n-stuff]

A Nice Christmas

Thanks to @gayhistorynerd for the prompt, see here (I kind of deviated from it a little maybe a lot but the story still stemmed from this prompt)

Pairing: Wilhelm × Simon

Summary: Wilhelm may have denied being in the sex tape, but that doesn't mean that the world has forgotten. The Christmas break proves to be difficult for both Simon and Wilhelm, one suffering from ongoing harassment and the other feeling completely isolated, and they find that they can't help but be drawn back to each other.

Word Count: 4.5k

A/N: This took me so long to write because I got writer's block right after I started it. This doesn't have a super happy ending because I wanted to try and keep it pretty realistic, but it is pretty sweet and wholesome.

Taglist: @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @rika90 @angelwilhelm

Wilhelm had never felt more alone than he did being home for Christmas break. He spent as much time as was physically possible holed up in his bedroom, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, especially not his mother. He hadn’t turned his phone on for three days, he had bitten his nails down to the nailbeds and he hardly had any appetite. The ache in his chest was constant and unyielding.

He lay in the dark most of the time, his curtains closed throughout the day and only sometimes opened at night to let the moonlight in. Besides that, he didn’t have much idea of how time was passing.

He did know that it was Christmas eve though. And it must be the morning because nobody had come to drag him out of his bedroom to join the celebrations. A cursory peek around the curtain confirmed that, as Wilhelm saw that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet.

A deep breath settled the stone in his stomach, and he reached for his phone with a shaky hand.

When the device turned on it immediately started going crazy with notifications, and Wilhelm felt his heart rate increase with every buzz.

5 messages from August

Ignore.

10 messages from Mamma

Ignore.

2 missed calls from Felice

Wilhelm paused in swiping away the notifications. Felice had called him twice and sent him three messages. He clicked on the message notification, sitting back against the wall and holding in a breath without realising it.

Felice: Hey Wille, how are you feeling being home?

Felice: I just wanted to check in but I can’t get a hold of you, I hope you’re doing alright

Felice: You probably don’t want to talk but you can call or text me whenever you do

Wilhelm sighed. Of all the people that he thought that he could depend on, Felice was the only one that he still had. He swallowed the lump in his throat and called her back.

It rang for a while before she answered, and he’d almost decided to hang up the call when it stopped ringing.

“Wille, good morning.” Felice greeted, cheerful but clearly tired. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, merry Christmas Felice.” Wilhelm replied feebly. His voice was hoarse from disuse.

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about something?”

“Uhm, I- I don’t know, I just... I don’t know.” He stuttered, wrapping his free arm around himself.

“Okay, well, what are your plans for today?”

“I’m not sure, I haven’t really been talking to anyone. What, uh, what are your plans?”

“Oh, you know, just the usual. We’ll watch Kalle Anka's Jul and play some games before dinner, then we’ll open presents.” She explained. The tinny sound of her voice through the phone was actually quite calming.

“What about for the rest of the break?”

“Um, I’m going to New York to see Maddie for New Year, so that’ll be fun. And I’m going back to Bjärstad on Boxing Day to see Sara. I’m gonna stay there just for one night.”

“So you’ve been talking to Sara a lot then?” Wilhelm questioned, moving to bite at his almost non-existent nails.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Has she said anything about Simon? Do you know if he’s alright?” His words came out more rushed than he had intended. Clearly, he was more eager for some sort of information on Simon than he had thought.

“Um, she hasn’t said much but I think he’s pretty okay.” Felice replied, but it was followed by a small sigh that let Wilhelm know that there was more to the story. “Sara says that things have mostly gone back to normal, but Simon goes out a lot less and she’s had to make her Instagram private. I think they’ve had a few people show up at their house.”

Wilhelm swallowed hard, a feeling of guilt crawling under his skin. Simon’s Instagram account had been private ever since the video had been leaked, so it seemed that now people had found Sara’s too. They had attention on them that they had never signed up for, and Wilhelm knew that it was his fault and he felt terrible for that.

“Okay.” He replied shakily. There was a short silence before Felice spoke again.

“How are you, Wilhelm? Really?” She asked.

“Lonely.” He answered. “Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower before someone comes demanding that I take part in the Christmas celebrations.”

“Alright well, call me back whenever, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Bye, Felice.”

“Bye, Wille. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Wilhelm ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan of frustration and sadness. Why couldn’t he just be a normal kid?

He stared down at his phone in his lap, gnawing at the nail of his right thumb in contemplation. With a shaking breath and trembling fingers, he picked it back up, opened his conversation with Simon and typed a short message. He dropped his phone in mild panic as soon as he hit send, and rubbed his hand over his chest as he took a deep, steadying breath.

+ + +

“Simon, wake up. Rosh and Ayub will be here soon.” Sara’s voice stirred Simon from his sleep and he rolled over to look at her. She was already dressed.

“What time is it?” He asked with a yawn.

“Nine o’clock. Get up and come help with breakfast.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up.”

Sara rolled her eyes and left the room, and Simon reached out to his bedside table blindly until his hand landed on his phone. He squinted at the screen as he sat up, faltering when he saw the notification on the screen.

Wilhelm: Merry Christmas Simon

He felt his heart race as he stared at the screen, only snapping out of it when he heard Sara shouting at him from downstairs. He blinked, dropped his phone and set about getting dressed.

Every Christmas eve since they were ten, Simon, Sara, Rosh and Ayub would have breakfast together and then go for a long walk. It was tradition for them at this point, but Simon found himself unable to feel excited for it this year. It was all well and good to pretend like life was going on as normal, but it was hard not to feel uncomfortable when people stared at him everywhere he went.

Rosh and Ayub arrived just as he and Sara were finishing up making breakfast, and they exchanged Christmas well-wishes as they sat down to eat.

“You’re being real quiet over there, Simme. You alright?” Ayub asked after a while, and Simon realised that he’d been completely zoned out.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“About Wilhelm?” Sara questioned. Simon pushed a bite of food into his mouth and shrugged.

“You have to move on, Simon.” Rosh said. “I know you care about him but he’s not worth all the trouble that he comes with.”

“I know. That’s why I ended things.” He replied. “It still sucks though.”

“You’ll get over him eventually.” Sara told him, putting a comforting hand on his for a few seconds before going back to her food. Simon smiled slightly.

He didn’t tell them about the text.

Despite all of that, he was in high spirits when they set out for their walk, happily joking and laughing with his friends, and they made it half an hour before he heard the first comment.

“That’s the guy from the sex tape.” Muttered a girl to her friend as they passed, and Simon felt the smile fall from his face.

“Just ignore them.” Sara told him, wrapping an arm around one of his. He nodded, but it had gotten to him. For the rest of their walk from that point, Simon felt like every person that they passed was looking at him and judging him.

They walked both Rosh and Ayub back to their houses before heading back to theirs just a bit past noon. They had almost gotten home when they were approached by a group of teenagers probably slightly younger than them.

“Are you the guy from that viral sex tape?” One of the boys asked unabashedly, the group coming right up in front of Simon and Sara and blocking their path.

“Uh, I don’t want to talk about that.” Simon replied stiffly, still trying to be polite.

“Oh my god, it is him!” A girl exclaimed.

“Was it actually the crown prince in the video?” Another chimed. Simon felt lightheaded.

“He already said that it wasn’t.” He deflected, trying to sidestep the group.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people that don’t actually believe him.” The girl laughed; actually laughed, as if this hadn’t been an earth shattering event for Simon.

“If it wasn’t Prince Wilhelm then who was it in the video?” A boy asked, and that was when Simon spotted the phone filming him and his stomach dropped.

“I’m not discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers.” He scoffed in disbelief, shouldering his way past the group with Sara close behind him. “Please leave me alone.”

“You could just tell us if it was actually the prince or not.” One of them pressed, the group now following after Simon. “If it wasn’t him then you don’t have anything to hide.”

“Oh my god, did the royal family pay you off? Did they make you sign an NDA!?”

“Were you, like, boyfriends? Or was it just a hookup?”

Simon kept walking, keeping his head down and not answering any of the questions being hurled at him. He could sense that Sara was just as tense beside him. The group followed them for a full block before Simon finally lost his cool and came to a dead stop, turning to face them.

“I’m not going to answer your questions. The fact that you’re following me is not going to make me answer your questions. I’ve had my privacy majorly invaded once already and now you’re invading it again. I’m trying to enjoy Christmas with my sister and you’re chasing me with a camera, I’m sick of people harassing me.” He fumed, making sure to meet the eye of every one of them at some point. “Whatever you choose to believe is not my problem. It doesn’t matter whether you think that the crown prince is telling the truth or you choose to make up some type of theory, I deserve my privacy.”

He didn’t wait for any type of response before he turned around and walked away, thankful to find that they weren’t going to follow him anymore.

“You handled that well.” Sara said quietly once they had turned the next corner. Simon didn’t reply.

When they got home, he went straight upstairs without a word. He slammed his bedroom door shut and buried his face in his pillow, unable to hold the tears back any longer.

By that same evening, the video was viral.

+ + +

I bet that girl was right and the royal family made him sign an NDA

If he didn’t want people to think it was the prince he would have just said that it wasn’t so either the prince was lying or this guy is seeking attention

He’s literally a kid why can’t people just leave him alone??

I don’t care if it was the prince in the tape or not, this guy is hot

The way he said that people are making up theories makes me think that it actually wasn’t the prince in the video

I feel bad for this guy, getting followed around like that must suck

Wilhelm scrolled through the captions and comments on the seemingly endless posts of the video of Simon, feeling like somebody had a vice grip on his heart.

The first time he saw the video had been right after Christmas Eve dinner. He’d had a full blown panic attack and locked himself in the bathroom for half an hour. When he came out, his mother had tried to talk to him about the politics of the situation and he had immediately retreated into his bedroom once again. He missed Erik desperately.

He hadn’t been able to sleep, he'd only gotten about three hours of broken, fitful sleep all night, and now he couldn’t pry himself away from his phone. He knew that it was bad for him, he knew that it was making him feel terrible, but he wanted to know what people were saying.

He had been hesitant to text Simon, especially since he hadn’t received a reply to the merry Christmas text that he had sent in the morning, but in the end he mustered the courage to reach out. He had asked how Simon was doing and apologised for getting him into this situation. He wasn’t surprised when no answer came.

Christmas day was proving to be probably the worst day of Christmas break for Wilhelm. His chest felt like it was bursting open and like it was an empty chasm at the same time. He didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, he didn’t respond to the knocks that came at his door. He felt like he was trapped in a glass box and someone was shaking it.

Wilhelm didn’t know how long he had been scrolling through multiple different social media platforms when his phone buzzed in his hand and an incoming call appeared on the screen. He faltered, sitting up and almost dropping his phone, when he saw that it was Simon. He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he raised the phone to his ear.

“Simon?” He croaked.

“Hi, Wilhelm.” The reply came through the phone, and Wilhelm felt his shoulders relax at the sound of Simon’s voice.

“Hi. H-how are you.” He fumbled, and Simon sighed on the other end.

“I’m okay, I guess. As okay as I can be after... well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”

“This wasn’t your fault, Wille.” Simon muttered. “I just wish things were different.”

“Why, um... why did you call?” Wilhelm asked. There was a short stretch of silence that rung in his ears before Simon answered.

“I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.” He confessed, and Wilhelm couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, I was kind of surprised that you didn’t delete my number or something.”

“Why would I have done that?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you weren’t supposed to have any ties with me since you said that it wasn’t you in the video.” Wilhelm winced at that.

“It's not like my contacts list is available to the public.” He replied, trying to keep his tone light. “I’m not gonna let that kind of thing get in my head again.”

“Is your mum mad?” Simon asked, and now it was Wilhelm’s turn to sigh.

“I’m not sure, I kind of shut myself in my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” He answered tiredly. “How is your family?”

“Uh, shaken. Sara’s off in her own world with her sketchbooks and mamá can’t go for more than an hour without checking on us both, but we’re handling it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

There was a silence again. Wilhelm ran his hand across his leg, back and forth in a soothing motion, not sure what he should say but not wanting the conversation to finish. In the end, Simon spoke first.

“Did you mean it, what you said before you left for the break?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, I did.” Wilhelm answered without hesitation. “I know it wasn’t a good time to say it, and you probably didn’t want to hear it, but I just had to say it out loud. At least once.”

Silence again. Wilhelm heard Simon sigh, and pursed his lips nervously.

“I miss you.” Simon said.

“I miss you too.” Wilhelm replied with a nervous yet relieved chuckle. “I miss you a lot.”

Another pause.

“Where do we go from here, Wille?” Simon whispered.

“I don’t know.” Wilhelm mumbled. “But I... I want to fix this. Or at least just try to fix it. You don’t deserve to be harassed like this, and it’s my fault and I feel terrible.”

“It’s not your fault.” Simon reassured with a sigh. “It was everything else. We still didn’t do anything wrong, and that includes you.”

“No, I did. I promised we would be in this together and I broke that promise.”

“I understand why you did it. And I’m not mad at you. Honestly, having thought about it, you probably made the best decision for my sake too. I mean, I’m getting harassed enough as it is already. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you had told the truth.”

“I’m still sorry anyway.” Wilhelm said softly, and Simon chuckled. “So, um, Felice told me she was visiting Bjärstad tomorrow.”

“Yeah, her and Sara have gotten close. It’s nice, you know, that Sara’s made friends. And Felice is cool.”

“Yeah, she’s great.”

There was silence again, and Wilhelm bit at his nails thinking that Simon was done with the conversation.

“Are you alright, Wille?” Simon asked after a while. “I know this is your first Christmas without Erik, and I guess things with your mum might be a little... well, I just hope you’re okay.”

Wilhelm swallowed. He could lie, pretend he was fine and wave away Simon’s concerns, but he knew the lie probably wouldn’t hold up. Or he could tell the truth and admit how painfully lonely he was, how much he hated being home because the palace felt empty without Erik and how much he longed to be with Simon with every fibre of his being.

“I’m coping.” He sighed, settling for a middle ground of vagueness. “It’s lonely here. The ceilings feel too high.”

“Have you had stuff to do?”

“No, not really. I haven’t really been in the mood for Christmas, but I guess none of us are particularly festive this year anyway.”

“Would you - I mean, if you would even be allowed to, but maybe if you could – would you want to come down here for a day?” Simon asked, and Wilhelm could just picture him fidgeting nervously as he stumbled over his words. The image brought a smile to his face.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He answered softly. “I’ll try and convince my parents.”

+ + +

Going to Simon’s house had been an absolute no go with his parents. “Just too risky” his mother had said. However, with enough persistence, he managed to wear them down to a compromise.

That was how he ended up in a car on his way back to Hillerska the day after Boxing Day. While Simon’s house had been absolutely off the table, it would be easy enough to get back to Hillerska without being seen. The only people who were there during the break were security and the people who came to take care of the horses.

He had been worried at first that the inconvenience of it would make Simon not want to bother, but when he texted to ask if it was okay he had been met with a quick agreement.

A security guard unlocked the door for him when they arrived, sworn to secrecy of course, and he headed up to his room to wait. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until there was a knock at the door and he was knocked out of his anxious thoughts.

The door opened slowly, and Wilhelm felt like all of the air was knocked out of his body when he saw Simon step inside, dressed in his beloved purple hoodie under the coat that he took off and draped over the back of a chair that was within reach. The door clicked shut behind him, and silence hung in the air.

“Hey.” Simon greeted finally, and Wilhelm took a deep breath as if he was just remembering how to breathe at all.

“Hey.” He echoed. “How are you?”

“Better.” Simon nodded. “Did you get into a fight with your parents?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Wilhelm muttered. “It’s fine though.”

Simon crossed the room and took a seat beside Wilhelm on the edge of the bed, a good few inches of space between them. It felt like miles.

“You look tired.” Simon commented.

“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.” Wilhelm replied weakly, eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands. “I get that way sometimes. It’s fine.”

“Is it?”

He looked over to find Simon watching him, and he practically crumbled under his gaze. He took a very unsteady breath and shook his head.

“No, it sucks.” He mumbled. His hand drifted back up to his mouth and he gnawed on the nail of his thumb nervously.

“Wille, you’re bleeding.” Simon said, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away from his mouth. Wilhelm looked down at his thumb and saw a bit of blood pooling in the side of the nailbed, becoming aware of the taste of it on his tongue.

“Oh, I didn’t notice.”

“How much have you been biting your nails?” Simon questioned, pulling Wilhelm’s hand towards him to get a look at them. Every nail was jagged and uneven, bitten down to stubs. The skin around them had been bitten at too.

“I don’t know, I do it without realising.” Wilhelm shrugged. “Probably a lot.” He resisted the urge to curl his fingers around Simon’s hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.

“You shouldn’t have to bottle everything in, you’re destroying yourself.” Simon murmured.

“I don’t have anyone to talk to.” Wilhelm’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, a single tear managing to fight its way from his eye. “I used to be able to talk to Erik about at least some of it but now he’s gone and I don’t have anyone, and sometimes it feels like the ground is falling out from under me and I just don’t know what to do.”

He didn’t notice that he was hyperventilating until Simon pulled him into his arms. Wilhelm’s chest was tight, rising and falling rapidly against Simon’s body. Simon's arms were wrapped around him tightly, and Wilhelm was suddenly overwhelmed with how much he had been craving a hug as his hands grasped at the back of Simon’s hoodie and he hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck.

Wilhelm had always been told not to cry. Ever since he was a child, whenever he began to cry he was told to stop. The seed had planted itself in him when he was very young, but the fear of letting himself cry didn’t truly grow until he once saw an article in a tabloid. He was barely eleven and he had fallen and hurt himself at an event. He had hardly cried, just a few tears and red cheeks, but the tabloid had had plenty to say about it. He hadn’t let himself properly cry since, except for when Erik died. Even then, he had waited until he was completely alone before he let his weakness show. But now, with Simon, he felt an overwhelming need to let his tears fall.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Simon’s shoulder. He could feel the tears coming out of his eyes but they weren’t falling down his face, instead absorbing into the fabric of Simon’s hoodie.

“It’s okay.” Simon soothed, a hand moving up to stroke over the Wilhelm’s hair.

“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a prince.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to feel normal. Just for once.” Wilhelm said through his tears. “You made me feel normal.”

Simon furrowed his eyebrows, sympathetic. He loosened his hold on Wilhelm and leaned back, sliding the hand that was on the back of Wilhelm’s head forward to rest against his cheek.

“You made me feel normal too.” He replied softly. “At school I was a social outcast because I’m not rich, and at home I have to take care of my mom and Sara. When I was with you, I didn’t feel like I had to take care of anyone or watch where I was stepping. Well, except that one night.” Wilhelm huffed a slight laugh at the comment, lifting a hand to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “I’ve never seen you cry before.” Simon commented.

“I’m not supposed to.” Wilhelm replied with an awkward chuckle, his head tipping forward in embarrassment. Simon sighed through his nose and lightly touched his forehead to Wilhelm’s.

“You have to cry sometimes, Wille. Everyone cries.”

“I’m not supposed to be everyone.”

“Okay, but sometimes you need to stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be.” Simon told him. “I know you know that.”

Wilhelm took a deep breath. This close to Simon’s face, he could feel his breathing too. He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if that would be okay. He nodded slightly, covering Simon’s hand on his cheek with his own.

“Yeah.” He breathed.

When Simon leaned forward and connected their lips Wilhelm responded automatically, though it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. Once his brain did catch up, his hand took hold of the back of Simon’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer, holding onto this moment like it was his last. Maybe it would be the last time he got to kiss Simon; he couldn’t know. He hoped it wouldn’t be.

“Thanks for coming to see me.” Simon said when they broke apart.

“Thanks for wanting to see me at all.” Wilhelm replied. “I really missed you.”

Simon hummed, a faint smile playing at his lips. He watched Wilhelm for a few moments before kicking off his shoes.

“Come here.” He said, shuffling over the bed towards the wall. Wilhelm followed suit and allowed himself to be guided down to a lying position, Simon’s chest against his back and arm around his waist. “You need to sleep.”

“It’s the middle of the day.” Wilhelm protested, weak as the protest may have been.

“People have naps all the time, and you know that you need it.” Simon said firmly, adjusting the pillow under his head with his free arm and finding Wilhelm's hand to hold in the other. “It doesn’t have to be for long, okay?”

“Okay.” Wilhelm nodded, feeling suddenly very relaxed. He took a deep breath settling into the comfort and warmth of Simon’s body around his as his eyes fell shut. “This is nice.” He mumbled after a while.

“Yeah.” Simon agreed softly. “Go to sleep, Wille.”

It wasn’t long until he felt Wilhelm’s breathing change, signifying that he had fallen asleep. He smiled, fondly but with an edge of sadness to it, and pressed a light kiss to Wilhelm’s shoulder before closing his own eyes. They would deal with the rest of the world when they woke up.