#This took longer than expected tbh

[sparticus2000art]

Behold! One of the scrungliest creatures alive- Spamton G. Spamton, the GOAT himself

I’ve had the rough idea for this for ages, but misplaced the original sketch…. But hey! He’s done now !

[nell0-0]

Hyrule Warriors but instead of the lil' hero of time there's the hero shade :)

[elvenbeard]

June 10th 2077

Happy birthday, V!!

Aahhhh aöskhdfasf I got inspired by a recent character ask where I talked about what a perfect day in Vince's life would look like, and I instanly had the day post-Boat-Drinks in mind. And also recently I revamped my personal hc timeline for Cyberpunk 2077 to incorporate Phantom Liberty into Vince's story and I was like y'know what... the post-Boat-Drinks day would perfectly fit as taking place on V's birthday :3 Spent a decent amount of hours yesterday taking pics (and will publish some of these on their own too cause I love them sm and I had all the feels, and they deserve to shine!) - but for now really wanted to complete this lil rundown in time.

Happy birthday to all the other Vs that celebrate today as well \o/

[sketchydesign78]

for the requests I present to you my lad Fiver , Copperright's son :] !! he's blind (central vision loss) and usually has his seeing-eye animal with him but he gets around with a white cane too on occasion , if you want to include that

Fiver!! The lad!! ^^

[starlos-soulmate]

I LOVE UR NEW URL!!!!!!!! VERY FITTING :3 <3

WAAAAHHHH THANK YOOOUUUU!!!!

[kashisbby]

The biggest problem w/ you is the fact you didn't even address the sexualizing transmasc people.

Are you completely ignoring the fact that's fucking disgusting and vile?

oop.

Nah you said you don't care cause you're a literal ass child and have nothing better to do than be a pest on tumblr, but aight.

It'll come back to bite you in the ass, whether it be being a literal creep or just nasty towards trans people.

ok ok ok… but what if, what if what if. In said fic shinsou was born a girl? And NOT a guy? Would it then be okay for me to say that erasermic is DPing him?

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

m2 characters + songs pt.1

Eddie Scarpa / «In The Garden / Under The Tree» by David McCallum

long ago i believe there was Adam, there was Eve and they lived free of sin while the sun tend their skin and the Lord said: «never grapple there with that right and delicious red apple here in the garden under the tree» then along there was snake sam the serpent on the make and he hissed in her ear: «take a taste, Eve, my dear» and her heart beat fast at the sight of it and with Adam she took a big bite of it in the garden under the tree all at once it was a sin, out of playboy magazine Adam blushed like a proof seeing eve in the nude but she looked so cute and tiny there if she stood in her tightly bikini there then he kissed her under the tree that's the way it began: clever women, foolish men and today, just like Eve girls have tricks up their sleeve nothing changed except in one degree now the apple is a diamond from tiffany in the garden under the tree

Eddie goes first bc it's one of my all-time favorite songs

Yes, main text shouldn't be visible. So here's the lyrics (not sure how correct it is, bc wrote it down by ear & eng isn't my native):

[nazmazh]

I don't think it's a thing, or at least not as pervasive of a thing as previous iterations of it, but it seems like True Crime Podcasts never really got the full Moral Panic(TM) treatment that other dark/lurid media got in their times.

Like comics were put under the yoke of The CCA, which effectively killed the crime (true or otherwise) genre, because it was believed to be a corrupting force.

Rock music, TTRPGs, and video games got an extra dose of Satanic Influence flavour in their panics, without even necessarily being all that lurid anyway, but especially with HUGE variability in tone and style between works in the same medium - Like KISS and others leaned into the "Ah! We're so strange and scary!" vibe. And several rockers intentionally pushed the boundaries of "acceptable" sexuality and expression for the times, sure. And much of the demonization of rock is rooted in racism because it was developed from African-American music styles (with certain genres, where the influence, and popularity with Black people was more obvious, got hit especially hard because of this). But like, the freaking Beatles were seen as potentially "dangerous" and "unwholesome" (the scandal of it all!) even before they leaned fully into New Age and other general weirdness that I could see as being especially off-putting to the kinds of people that go on these moral crusades.

Violence and any sort of sexual expression/depiction in movies and TV was blamed for corrupting the nation, especially the youth - and to some extent still is. Doubly so for video games.

Computers, the internet, and social media are still seen as direct pipelines of filth into vulnerable minds.

Heck, even Novels were seen as a craze that would drive the women and youths towards inappropriate behaviours, back when they first started being published - Too easy to print and distribute (way more possible for people with ill morals to publish material!), too conviently accessible by anyone - Not needing as careful of handling or storage, and much less likely to get damaged being carried around than previous printing methods; they'd distract from duties and anything could be published in those books, and they'd be easy enough to conceal from disapproving guardians due to how compact they could be

But I can't say that I've really seen much, if any real targeting of True Crime Podcasts with these sorts of accusations in any sort of very visible way. Not even from the usual moral crusader suspects (though I'm sure some of them no doubt are out there railing against the podcasts, because that outrage against everything is what sustains certain kinds of fundamentalists), and certainly not in the mainstream media - The most I think I've seen is a few mild, often self-deprecating, jokes, said with genuine fondness, in a few more trope-savvy works here and there.

And that's despite the presence of many of the crusaders' favourite punching bag traits:

- Lurid subject matter

- Often sensationalized presentation

- New form of media

- Easily consumable by the masses

- Incredibly popular, especially paired with a rapid rise in popularity

- Especially popular among women (who, as we know from previous panics, clearly have such delicate sensibilities and fragile, malleable minds that they absolutely, positively cannot be trusted to make their own decisions about media consumption. CLEARLY.).

I would make a note about it definitely being popular with young women, which it is, sure. But honestly, I'm reasonably certain it's not especially more popular with them than with older audiences. The podcast format specifically may not necessarily be the favourite medium for a older potential audience member, especially compared to a younger potential audience member, but there's plenty of people middle aged and older that happily listen to podcasts. However there is an absolute glut of true crime shows on TV, often marketed towards women. The Investigation Discovery spin-off channel is pretty much all true-crime shows and documentaries (with maybe some Based on a True Story- style dramatizations thrown in for good measure). And even though it's not specifically, explicitly a women-focused channel in the same way, say the Hallmark Channel or Lifetime are, much of their shows formatting and much of the marketing material definitely leans toward targeting and retaining women specifically as an audience. I can remember my grandma contentedly watching the channel all day long. And let's not forget the archetypical "Lifetime Movie" is generally taken to mean a True Crime "It Could Happen to You"-cautionary tale-dramatization.

Heck, even the collection of books inherited by grandma when her mother passed away included a large amount of non-fiction books about "Tracking The Murders of [such-and-such] County" and suchlike. So, no, I don't believe the True Crime fascination is exclusively a young person phenomenon. It's been around in some form for quite a while and maintains its appeal across age demographics.

So, what gives, moral crusaders? Where's your campaigns declaring True Crime Podcasts a danger to society? Where's your press tours? Why don't you have politicians taking the floor in meetings/council/congress/etc., to declare this media to be the scourge of the nation and the latest existential threat to Western Society? Won't SOMEBODY think of the children?!?!

I know we as a society aren't all stuck watching the same news/media sources anymore, and in many ways we're not as beholden to the control/influence of the, often (but not exclusively) Evangelical, Christian institutions that used to really push this stuff as an issue to the forefront of public discourse, but I can't believe that they'd've just completely gone away and stopped trying to force everyone else to adhere to their sense of indignation and live under their moral code.

It's almost as though they're not stirring up as much outrage about this because they found something else they think is a bigger problem and/or stands a better chance of catching on with mainstream audiences.

And... oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Well.

Shit.

I started writing this ramble upstairs, watching TV with my parents. They've been watching that "Based on a True Story" show. And that's what got me thinking about the pop-cultural niche True Crime Podcasts have found themselves in, and reactions to them compared to reactions to other forms of media that have discussed/depicted violent crimes and other controversial subject matter in the past and present (See also: Only Murders in The Building).

This was supposed to be an all-"Haha, isn't it kinda silly how things are?" little quip about how "Outrage ain't want it used to be". From my very privileged white dude point of view. But I think I stumbled into something here. Something that I might not even be the best person to talk about. So I won't go too in-depth on subjects I'm very much out of my depth on, but, I do kinda wanna get to my conclusion.

So uh...

Yeah, okay.

The Moral Crusaders are busy with other topics.

They've found bigger fish to fry, so to speak.

They're out there railing against favourable and even neutral depictions of queerness in media, especially children's media.

They're out there railing against social justice, racial equity, historical rectification, truth and reconciliation.

They're out there railing against science and education and instilling earnest curiosity in people.

Against secularization, diversity, and inclusivity.

Against correction of their own misinformation and indoctrination.

They put it all under one banner these days, and rail against it all as though it were a conspiracy to deliberately supplant them.

They're too busy crusading against "Wokeness" - Their idea of what that means, anyway.

I don't think it's the only reason there's not a big crusade against True Crime Podcasts, as I've said above, Christian morality has reduced official and unofficial influence in so-called Western society than it did in times past. And there's much better access to resources for getting different information and opinions on a subject than the people immediately around you and whatever the handful of news channels and papers you have access to tell you. That is to say, sources that require very little effort on one's own part. It's a heck of a lot easier to google something or check wikipedia than it would have been to have to trek down to the library and ask if they have any books or journals or magazine or... any sort of information about a subject.

And it's not like their boogeyman of "wokeness" isn't anything new for them to crusade against. They've always complained about it in some form or another - Who could forget the outrage against children's media back in the day?:

"Is Bugs Bunny gay?" "Is Spongebob gay?" "Is Tinky-Winky gay?"; "This book discusses subjects that should only be talked about between a mother and her daughter! It's disgusting!"; "I couldn't let my kids watch anything with magic in it - That's the devil's work! That's why I don't trust these mainstream educational programs!"

In terms of more outrageous complaints about children's media.

That's not to mention complaints about other media - Those expressly intended for adults. Or complaints about progressive actions taken in society in-general. Some of these have typically appealed only to the most vocal of cranks - The kind of things complaining about depicting characters who do un-Christian things in works, or that students are being taught proper sexual education or that vaccination is mandatory for entry into institutions like public schools.

But there's plenty of complaints that don't garner immediate pushback from less-extreme conservatives or even so-called moderates: "Why is there so much diversity in casting these days? Why can't they just make their own shows?", "Why are they coming after that comedian for telling edgy jokes?", "Why are they pushing this global warming crap down our throats so much anyway?"

In "wokeness", they've found something that seems to not only unite everything under one banner, but resonate more strongly with some people than the old canards of "liberal" or "politically correct". Sure, there's always been people who have said those with the same contempt and venom that they use for the truly heinous things of the world. But in co-opting "woke" from the original meaning among Black people expressing solidarity with each other and encouraging others to to remain aware of the social and political issues that definitely, almost-always negatively, affected their lives, the moral crusaders have found something that strikes a nerve with a large swath of people who might otherwise have not agreed that several of their bugbears actually needed opposing. Now, there's a single enemy ideology that pervades all culture-war issues. It's all connected, you see. Something you thought was harmless? No! You see, that's just how they're going to infiltrate your mind! Your childrens' minds! Don't give them any ground at all!

Awareness of an issue was and still is basically the mildest thing to ask of someone else. As a call to action, "Stay Woke" is a pretty small request.

The crusaders make it out as though it's a battle-cry, a command - A decree that all aspects of all things must adhere to the most progressive, indeed, transgressive views, opinions and approaches on all subjects. That this is upending the previously established status quo just for the sake of upending it. And that this interpretation is the one adopted by all powerful entities in society - Government (especially including the education system), mainstream media, big businesses, etc. And that these entities have oppressive reasons in mind to force those beliefs on society. And that dissent against this woke "nonsense" is the objective truth in a world gone mad! It's an imperative to preserve your way of life!

And, uh. No.

Whatever world they're living in where that's actually happening is quite different from our reality, of course.

Honestly, though? It doesn't need to start out seeming like a big conspiracy - Even asking for honest awareness, in good faith, might be enough to infuriate non-crusaders. People don't often voluntarily to entertain the notion that things they do, things they've done, and things done in their name by others, that they continue to benefit from, are indeed "bad" actions.

Because that now feels like a personal attack against them. They're bad people for not pushing back against this. They must be considered complicit. How dare you think that of me!?!

And then, then the crusader-types just need to introduce the notion that this consideration being "demanded" of this otherwise passive group is the result of a slippery slope of this entire progressive, questioning mindset. Acknowledging any part of it means accepting all of the crusaders' hyperbolic claims about what that ideology actually means.

Through the magic of "Wokeness", it's all connected - It's all out to get you.

Where does it end? Didn't you see how they treated that one guy? Surely, he's no monster. If they can go after him for something so harmless, what's stopping them from coming after you next, for something that's probably even more innocuous?

Moral crusaders know the value of a good persecution complex.

It's not just asking you to be aware of how your presence in the world affects it. It's targeting you. Right?! That's surely the point of this is to find a guilty party and punish them! They're going to make you take the fall for this and directly suffer the punishment for it! You can't let that happen!

It's not even as explicit of a line of reasoning as this.

But either way, the moral panic is spreading and the crusaders are getting a bunch more people loudly on-board with their crusade.

They're banning books and calling for show cancellations under the whole banner of "woke ideology".

They're getting their press tours. Speaking with friendly talking-heads to puff themselves up, then going on with people unwilling to challenge their claims in the interest of fairness - And even if the commentators do push back, the crusaders will spin it as "the woke mainstream media trying to suppress our beliefs" and use that as a recruiting tool.

They're getting their politicians going on rants in city council meetings. During campaign rallies. In congressional/legislative sessions. In published opinion pieces.

In judicial rulings.

In enacted legislation.

The crusade continues. In many ways, it's as pervasive and successful as it's ever been.

It's not True Crime Podcasts that have been the subject of a moral panic this time around.

They must not be "woke" enough to bother with.

[daughterofhecata]

WIP word game

Tagged by @wodkapudding - thank you! This looks fun and it's uuuh certainly welcome for procrastinating

Rules: you will be given a word. share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word. The word is GHOST (we're already getting into the halloween spirit, I see xD)

G - „Geh tiefer runter“, befahl Cottas kompromisslose Stimme. „Tiefer. Und jetzt halten.“ (Peter/Cotta AU pwp, wird vielleicht heute noch fertig - Titel: "you make it hard to hesitate")

H - "Höre ich da eine gewisse Eifersucht in deinem Ton?", neckte Victor ihn. Genoss den Anblick, wie eine ganz sachte Röte Justus' Wangen hinauf kroch. Jetzt war er in der Defensive. "Ich habe dir damals angeboten, an meiner Seite zu arbeiten, aber du wolltest davon ja nichts hören." (Justus/Victor(ish) aus Victors Sicht, weil ich das unbedingt mal ausprobieren wollte)

O - Orkanartig wirbelte der Rausch durch seinen Körper, sein Grollen ging irgendwo gegen Henrys Nacken verloren. Nur einen winzigen Augenblick später sackte Henry in sich zusammen, suchte Halt an der Werkbank. (genau genommen ist das geschummelt, weils kein WIP mehr ist. Aber pscht. Das ist aus der versprochenen Henry/Bill fic - Titel: "Sturmwind" - die ich vermutlich nachher noch hochlade)

S - Seine Gedanken jagten sich im Kreis, ohne irgendeinen Erfolg, außer, dass er Kopfschmerzen bekam und unleidlich wurde. (eine Cotta/Goodween Pining Sache, die noch in den allerfrühesten Anfängen ist)

T - "Tja", machte er, weil ihm nichts besseres einfiel. Und dann: "Das letzte, was ich über Sie gehört habe, ist, dass Sie von den Toten auferstanden sind." (Cotta/Victor, ursprünglich inspriert von ASPs "Demon Love", inzwischen mit deutlichen Einflüssen von Bessons "Venice Beach")

Tagging: @crazy-walls, @pointwhitmark, @keravnous, @alintheshitposter & @auxiliarydetective, if you want!

Word: ORCHID

[abacibate]

jj why are you wearing flares

[chipjrwibignaturals]

look at my edit boy

[pixiedust347]

doot doot

Omg I got my doot doot! Took you long enough dear anon 👊 thank you

[rosenallies]

feeling v angsty - could u maybe write a prompt for alternate breakup au where rosie finally has to take nali to the hospital or is visiting him there?? 👉👈🥺

taking a break from the treacherous task of doing work that I put off doing for weeks for no reason other than sheer laziness <3 but anyway I decided to go for the visitation route bc honestly I wrote the whole going thing for the original breakup au and I feel like it would go pretty similarly just with more smooches and comfort idk I guess I could write it if u wanted but it would prob be similar to the other one <3 and being visited in the psych ward is a jarring experience to say the least, I can say that because ive been both the visitor and the visitee<3 um anyway ,.I’m gonna be done rambling now

Tw//for mentions of hospitals and mental illness and just generally be careful when reading anything in this au if anything like that is a trigger for u <3

-----

Walking into the sterile hospital, Rosé felt on edge, jittery as he walked through the long corridor to where the psychiatric unit where Denali was being held was. In his arms, he held the softest teddy bear he could find, a bouquet of blue hydrangeas, Denali's favorite flower, and a bag of his favorite chocolates. He held his breath as he handed it off to the nurse along with his phone, wallet and keys. He'd been there every single day since Denali was admitted three weeks prior and yet it still jarred him every time he was asked to keep his personal belongings in a cubby outside of the locked unit. The look he gave the nurse on the first day prompted a hasty explanation.

"You can't have anything a patient might be able to hurt themselves or others with," she'd said, holding out the plastic bin for him to place his things in.

He was lucky they'd allowed him to bring in the teddy bear, flowers, and chocolates; his sad excuse for birthday presents for his boyfriend.

Rocking back and forth on his heels, Rosé waited in the visitation area, cracking a genuine smile when Denali entered the room, wearing one of Rosé's many hoodies he'd packed him, the strings were removed but it didn't phase him at all when he though about the way Denali had a little piece of him with him at all times.

"Happy birthday, baby," Rosé said, opening his arms for a short embrace, he would have held on for longer, but he didn't want to get in trouble.

Denali sighed into his embrace. "It's happier now that you're here."

They were then led to a sitting area, for privacy they chose a table to the back where Denali sat pressed against Rosé, the only physical affection they were allowed.

"I brought you some gifts, none of it's your real gift, that's at home, but I just-"

"I love it," Denali said, hugging the bear close to his chest, "thank you. Share a chocolate with me?"

Rosé smiled, unwrapping a candy and breaking it in half. He hated peanut butter cups, but they were Denali's favorite and if eating one with him made him feel more comfortable, his distaste be damned. He popped it into his mouth, focusing on the tinfoil wrapper in his hands instead of Denali chewing, only looking up after a few moments. He was met with Denali flashing him a big smile, chocolate smudged on his front tooth, making it look like it was missing. Rosé laughed, throwing his head back like a little kid. It wasn't that the joke was overly funny, but for a second, for just a split second he saw the Denali he'd fallen so deeply and irrevocably in love with.

He was in love with every side of Denali, but fuck, did he miss that smile, the one where his eyes crinkled and his dimples showed.

"God, I fucking miss you. I see you everyday and yet I miss you so much."

Denali sighed shakily, that beautiful smile turned watery. "I miss you too. I want to go home."

Wrapping an arm around Denali's shoulders, he held him close to his side. "I know, lovely. Soon though, okay?"

Nodding, Denali rested his head on Rosé's shoulders. "I hope so."

"It will be, sweetheart. I can see you've already made some progress which is a step in the right direction, right?"

"Yeah. I wanted to ask you though, so when I get out, they're setting me up with a therapist outside of the hospital and I wanted to know if maybe sometime you'd like to come with me? Maybe just to help understand what's going on a bit better? Sometimes I don't even know what they're telling me so I'm sure some things get lost in translation, so maybe it would be easier to hear it straight from the doctor? You don't have to if you don't want to but-"

"Nali, of course I'll come with you. I think that's a great idea. I'm so so fucking proud of you, I wish I could kiss you. Is that one gay nurse working today?"

Denali giggled. "No, it's the grumpy old woman who definitely would yell at us."

Rosé scanned the room, eyes landing on the nurse in question, talking with another patient and their partner. "Quick, she's not looking."

For the first time in weeks, Rosé kissed Denali, his lips slightly chapped but just as comforting and familiar as they had always been. It was much too quick for their liking, but it felt very much needed.

"I love you," Denali whispered softly, the words just for Rosé despite them being in a room full of other people.

Rosé kissed his forehead, grouchy nurses be damned. "I love you too, so much."

[portalapp]

mason    kim    never    imagined    joining    wwe        ;         when    their     email    arrived        ,        he     assumed    it    was     a     scam.         true     to     form        ,         he     hacked     wwe’s    system    to     confirm     the    offer.         instead    of     getting     him     blacklisted        ,         it    earned    him     a     meeting    with     triple    h        ,        who    needed    someone     to     𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞     𝐰𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠    𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲     from     the    ground     up. once    hired        ,        mason    introduced    [ ��ɪᴏᴍᴇᴛʀɪᴄ    ᴩᴇʀꜰᴏʀᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ     ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋɪɴɢ ]     at     the    performance    center        ,         helping     wrestlers        train    smarter    and    avoid    injuries.         he    enhanced    production     quality        ,         ensuring    cinematic     camera     work    and    streamlined     lighting    for    maximum    visual    impact.        he     also     LOCKED    down     SECURITY        ,         preventing    leaks     and     reinforcing    streaming     platforms. finally        ,        he    dove    into    fan     engagement        ,        adding    live     crowd    reaction     analysis     and    interactive    features        —        like     match    stipulations     &.    ar    promos       —        so     the    audience     could     feel     more    involved.         in    a    short    time        ,         mason’s     innovations    transformed     wwe        ,        blending    𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦    𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩    with     the     spectacle     of     sports     entertainment.

[rustpuppy]

finally beat rain world !!! 🎉🎉 what a wild game. so much... weirder than i was expecting (in a good way)

[bilbao-song]

okay at long last (i wanted to do this at least a little sooner but by the end of last night i was so sleep deprived my brain was not functional): jeffrey in boston on the 23rd!!! (really in-depth PARAGRAPHS of rambling below the cut so you only have to look at it if u want to, otherwise just enjoy the photos lmao)

so. hmmmm what to say about this lmao (the first two paragraphs are probably least important here if u don't want to read All Of That)

all of this was like.....................a dream. like i know talking about this makes me sound like Insane Person Whose Life Revolves Around Concertgoing (although that's kind of just the truth tbh) but being THIS close was like...THE dream to me. or at least the most realistically attainable dream we got there a liiiittle after the opening band had started (they are pretty great btw? i approve. like i'm genuinely excited to see them lol) and i'm not sure what the problem was tbh!! we arrived at a perfectly reasonable time but then everyone got corralled into a giant line that like, looped around itself and wrapped around the block. so that took like ~25 minutes to get through. anywayyy i got one of the ???people who work there (there's a word for this that is escaping me atm) to help me find my seat bc things were of course a bit chaotic by that point and well...........that was a positively magical little jaunt as we got closer and closer and i just kind of lost my mind. my seat was in the third row riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight in the middle. like, perfectly in the middle. it could hardly have been any better :'))))

so! i sat there by myself which felt a little strange bc although i do like doing things on my own i have just never done this before. the only other concert i have been to where i sat basically by myself was like, a thing i got to go to bc someone gave me their extra ticket (air supply! which was fun but like, i only went bc it just came up. no disrespect to air supply lmao) and even then the person next to me was like, super nice and also clearly entertained by my dedication to older music (always exquisite to encounter someone who genuinely wants to hear about ur interests. like once you manage to convince me you're asking out of genuine interest the floodgates are OPEN) but anyway!!! the strangers in the elo mosh pit did not talk to me. this was fine but i was a tiny bit surprised bc everyone has been pretty chatty at the other ones i have been to...as an aside i was repeatedly given the impression that the people directly behind me were kind of mean (consistently not shutting up during the opening act, loudly making rude comments about them, just kind of......whining a lot lmao) so i'm 100000% good with not talking to them lol

ANYWAY...onto the important part. sitting through the little intermission was excruciating and kind of went by too quickly bc i kind of did not want the concert to start bc the sooner it started the sooner it was over </3 but it was fun to be sooo close bc i enjoyed watching the crew set everything up and adjusting things and putting jeffrey's little table directly in front of me and whatnot 🥺 but then it started and it was like..............surreal. it quickly became clear that i really had chosen like the absolute perfect seat bc a) the two people in front of me were really short. thank god (the jackasses behind me were also at least a little taller than me so i'm happy for them and was not sorry for standing in front of them in my huge shoes) b) jeffrey directly in front of me. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) again this was like. SURREAL to me in a way bc it's just!!! the best yet and also 💕🥹💕🥹💕🥹 of course. i have been at least slightly pleasantly surprised by my seats at each one i've been to on this tour but even here i experienced that bc i did think i would be off to the side at least a tiiiiny bit...but no it was actually perfect. exquisite. like, i'm really truly not one of those overly-idolizing/Lose Your Mind Over Proximity To Famous Person types but well. i mean if you have read this far i'm sure you are already well aware of how i feel about him lmao

moving forward......bringing this up makes me feel weird bc it sounds so......well. you know. but ummmmm eye contact was definitely established repeatedly 🥺👉👈 looking at me and smiling adorably...........like, this is no exceptional credit to me or anything bc like...what else is he supposed to look at. i was very directly in his field of vision and significantly taller than the two people in front of me lol so he would have had to go to great lengths not to look at me at all. but ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god???????? it was also kind of hilarious bc it did very muchly keep triggering my insane reflex to look AWAY from people when they make eye contact with me so i had to keep consciously correcting that bc like ????? HELLO lmao. but it was just!!!!!!!! very sweet!!!!!!!!! he was very smiley and adorable. typical...........i could opine on this further but i shan't at the risk of sounding insane. but like this alone was worth it to me sdjkhsjkhsd. felt Nice!!!!!!!!

anyway hmmm what else. well it was just spectacular but u already knew that. his voice has sounded remarkably perfect at each of these shows and that really stands out to me bc i just love that :') i also just love that he's repeatedly absolutely killing it, most importantly just because like, of course!! yay!! but also bc for awhile there was like, a cluster of very weird naysayers within the general community (which involved some kind of disgusting behavior imo but i won't go into detail about that bc like, why rehash it when it's both negative and profoundly ridiculous) and every single concert is just a really beautiful little I Told You So to those people which is SO satisfying to me bc i love to see that sort of thing getting thoroughly shut down and also slightly in part bc i love when i'm right and rude people who i don't like are wrong but that's as snarky as i will allow myself to be in an otherwise very happy post. <3 but i like. idk i just knew. and everyone else who isnt absolutely bonkers did too but well. etc etc etc

as a final note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk i loved it. and i'm so glad that i get to go to the phoenix one as well bc although i'm already getting a little emo about this (........i was already a slight mess after the one in indianapolis tbh) i do think that's like, the only thing that's keeping me from losing it entirely lmao. i feel super lucky to have done all of this and i am having a very very very very very good time