#This person is really cool and you should def commission him

[monstrouslyobsessed]

been a minute since i've answered yall asks, sorry about that. been having health issues again. sighs.

tw / tags: monster fucking, snake anatomy, breeding mentions

Do you have any thoughts about slime-like monsters? I personally find monsters with… unstable??? body structure quite interesting cuz of their potential lol. Like, even of they're slow and trembling like jittery jelly, once they have grip on you – you gone, whoops. Struggling r useless, u will only get urself deeper and you can't even do a lot to escape. And bonus points if they're kinda dumb, so by acting silly and goofy they're practically gaslighting lmao —anonymous

i actually have a musing in the work about that one!! its...been in my draft forever...whoops....i'll work on that in just a bit then.

but yes!! theyre also super versatile too! imagine if you have one as a pet...its going to make a pet out of you, oho rip darling.

I wonder how the 6 arms snake god eat. Does he just shallow his prey whole? chew them? Tear them apart then eat them piece by piece? I wonder what is his favorite part of his prey, and his less favorite. I imagine that some times, he eat messy, so reader clean the blood around his mouth with a clean napkin. —anonymous

i actually kinda imagine him opening his mouth like a snake would since he's no longer a human (w a pic below). but in the beginning, when he's still merging with the snake god, he'd probably start tearing his, ah, meals apart, yeah. i actually don't think his transformation was actually completed by the time he started his initial rampage + he wouldn't have any arm when he first started out too.

oh geez i can see him being super clumsy and floppy trying to learn how to move his new body. poor thing.

his mouth would be like this, maybe with bigger fangs tho. that said, i cant find the original source now :( so if any of you know who this may be by, lmk so i can link the artist!!

Hey-hey! Have you read Mieruko-chan by any chance? Maybe it's only me, but i find designs for ghosts from here rlly cool and some chapters can give some pretty cool concepts/ideas.

Gl on ur day! ✨ —anonymous

i actually have been keeping up with it! poor mc, she's trying her best...I'm crushing on the yandere tentacled head lady atm lol

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It's time to spread positivity! 💖 — @berrychan03

dawwww <3 thank you!!! i'll be sure to spread them around~!

Your Jaguar Trube story is really good! I like it. Are you going to make the part 2 for it? —anonymous

im actually kinda stumped on how to continue this one mainly because of the breeding kink being the primary focus and the reader initially being gn. i feel iffy doing this to my fellow gn readers as well, as i don't wish to exclude them and i don't think im that good of a writer to pull off a gn smut.

i could just do two versions tbh because its a little different between if the reader is afab and if they're amab.

if afab, theyre actually kinda in for some bad time because there's so many males around, possibly around 30 to even 50, and there's a lot of dp to go around because they're sharing them.

if amab, there's not many females around at all, maybe around 4 young adult ones (with the rest being old ladies), though that's not to say the males wouldn't touch them because they def would though lol but i kinda imagined that being amab they wouldn't be in too high of demand and would be given breaks. plus, they don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

i'll take feedback regarding this matter though, so lmk your thoughts on how i should proceed!

anyhoo, gonna try and work on couple overdue commissions i got, but in the meanwhile, feel free to send in whatever (that is currently open lol) love ya bunches!

[cartoonrival]

will i need ur professional opinion on this what do you think the archie sonic status quo wouldve looked like post mecha sally deroboticization. since the freedom fighters are basically as good as disbanded anyways that would leave sonic with a similar lack of direction like when robotnik died but the world tour gimmick was kind of done with team fighters anyways so doing it again would feel stale. and i know eggman is still there but i cant really see him being the main big bad like he used to before bc the mobotropolis shield thing kind of halts any eggman plots in their tracks. so unless something with the city changes eggman isnt really as much of a looming presence like he used to be so idrk what the central conflict wouldve been had preboot been allowed to go on <- guy who doesnt watch bumblekast

my brain is kind of on a different wavelength rn but i wouldn't say the ffs are fully disbanded considering the circumstances that led to the split to begin with. if sally and bunnie both came back and antoine woke up (all of which would presumably happen, i think antoine SHOULD be disabled but idk if he would be, maybe he'd get partially roboticized to regain some mobility which i think could do well for his relationship with bunnie considering she always hated that she was partially roboticized and antoine always loved her for it, and now the person she loves most in the world is also that way. so its harder to hate herself about it because she realizes that she loves antoine just the same) then the team would essentially be reassembled. i also kind of assumed bunnie went to beaux asking to be legionized after antoine's coma, i dont remember where i got that idea though and if it was confirmed or not. cool if true though. but anyways that would mean shes also back in fighting trim.

mecha sally was def like you said one of the Big Arcs that causes a really really serious upset, so i'd figure immediately post would be a lot of really lax stuff, little character stories and things, and yeah probably sonic getting antsy about not having anything to do. tho ofc considering comic and game series story trends, i figure they wouldnt Kill robotnik or anything, he would just kind of be put out of commission for a long while in one way or another. the next arc would probably focus on some otherworldly threat instead of eggman, sort of like the gaia situation in reboot/unleashed. just to give eggman a break and feel less like But wait he isnt dead! eggman surprise. yk. but i mean even if it seems like theres no possible way for eggman to become a problem again, he always will because he is the main antagonist and the story can't really go on without him and still call itself sonic.

also also since im pretty sure a lot of the hurried cleanup regarding the echidnas was directly related to the incoming reboot and the lawsuit, a lot of that probably would not have happened. which means that the dark legion would still exist as a threat even if eggman was gone. if eggman died lien-da would GLADLY step up to the plate

[bumbleklee]

people voicing their own opinions on my brain worms makes me so happy i sob but you know what time it is

part 4: imma go straight meta on you we doing genshin mains and type of player heheheh

to make it fun we won’t be picking parents as their mains even tho clara would be a diluc main moving on

as always nikolai: he is definitely a klee main. he saw explosions and was like “yup i’m sold” he got her c6 and she is officially his lil sister. also he does his daily commissions at the worst place (he was at the dentist getting his wisdom teeth out and was still grinding it out) he is also a whale. not a meta slave but a definitely a whale. he gets like c6 and r5 everything but has zero clue how it works. before he got klee, he was a barbara main. ar60 and doesn’t understand artifacts tho. he probably won’t get there and is still farming for an attack flower.

isaac: he is most definitely an albedo main. i take no arguments. he is cool but a lil bit snark it’s everything he could ever ask for. he have 5 different builds for albedo. okay so this man actually understands how the games work. like he was a calculator to determine swirl damage. when you google a build guide he is the reason it exists. he is the man behind the scenes. i like to think he is like a beta tester for the game. he test things out and gets sneak peaks because he is so detail oriented. the game dev look forward to his insight.

jia: thoma main. she is the meta. that’s it. she is probably the luckiest person to grace this mortal realm. she has amazing luck and it shows. nikolai need to whale to get c6 but mihoyo gifts her it. she likes him because technically he is one of the worst characters for the meta but he is good with animals and a housekeeper. she likes his vibe and how homey he feels. but her artifacts are so good holy shit i just wanna-

calla: yae. ifykyk. if not she is definitely shenhe again the girls that get it get it and the girls who don’t don’t that’s it. anyways she only plays as girls why would she need sticky boys when the girls have it under control. she plays for aesthetic but she goes hard to make the the best. other than that she is just a casual update to update player. she did whale for yae tho. she runs mono teams as she should. honorary male is kazuha but he is the only one allowed😡

clara: yoimiya. they are fun and loud and talkative but not in the zhongli type of ways. she can just kinda vibe with them. she doesn’t know how artifacts work and really only started to play so she could with isaac but once she learn oh god. she is crack dude. less than jia but like the minute she realized that a def goblet shouldn’t go on yoimiya her life changed. unlike nikolai she learned. another casual player but she have moments of fixation on it. so she would play for like a whole week and then disappear for a bit. boss drops don’t like her tho. he favorite boss to beat up is in fact childe.

-🍞 this was long and i’m sorry for typos i’m sleepy

IM SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO ANSWER </3 ITS BEEN A SUPER HECTIC WEEK AND I WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL MY ATTENTION

nikolai is the type of kid that just takes his parents credit cards to use on games. they’re rich asf so they don’t care but it’s still funny because he’s like 17, dropping thousands on the game 😭

isaac has a genshin YouTube channel that tests different builds and the thumbnail is like “RAIDEN SHOGUN 300,000 DAMAGE?”

i can see jia as a streamer, so she gets that streamer luck. has like 40% crit dmg on all artifacts

calla hates kaeya. she doesn’t like any of the guy characters but she HATES kaeya 😭😭 her team is probably mona, yae, shenhe and beidou. and she flaunts them like craycray

clara is a fun genshin player. she joins lower ar worlds to help them and does damage tests with her friends all the time just to show off or help them. isaac has her password and does her comms

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[inknopewetrust]

adieu, remember me. (1)

The Old Guard Booker x Female! Original Character

Summary: After a few years away, one member of the immortal team must return to protect their immortality and secrets as enemies begin to uncover their past.

Word Count: 1.6k 

Warnings: nothing yet!

Parts: ... | 2 | part 2 coming soon!

A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think about the work and it will def be more than 2 or 3 parts and longer than this one. Requests are CLOSED at the moment and I apologize in advance for any mis-wording or spelling in different languages because I don’t know french/italian but I feel in some cases it was necessary to use for character interactions. Published on 8/9/2020.

if you want to be tagged for the next part please let me know!

All original content is owned by me. Anything from the film/comic is property of the writers, studio, and director. Gif not by me.

Versailles evolves every so often but over 172 odd years, more visitors pack its halls and recall its history. Tourists from around the world flock to the once functional palace and the home of infamous, complicated monarchs. Passed the sweeping halls and the paintings of untouchable status, a special exhibit was placed at the end of the hall with cases full of crowned jewels of French royalty.

Tourists flashed photos of crowns and rings and pearls that adorned the exhibit cases. In the center of the room laid perhaps the most famous of jewels, as well as the crowns that found themselves on the heads of women who suffered terrible fates. The Hope Diamond sat in a case between crowns that once adorned it and worn by Marie Antoinette and Louis Philippe I’s controversial daughter, Vivienne, Duchess of Auvergne. On loan from its final resting place at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., the diamond once found itself imbedded in each of the crowns on momentous occasions.

Crown worn by Vivienne, Duchess of Auvergne and third daughter of King Louis Philippe, killed by French revolutionaries in February 1848. Crown was commissioned by the King for his daughter’s twenty-eighth birthday. Was worn on the night of her death on 24th of February, 1848.

Twenty-eight. 172 years later she still remember the party, the food, the smell of the candles that burned from the chandelier and the man who caught her heart. Pretentious was the only word that came to mind when she thought of the party and the woman. At the time she felt deception too but the world has a funny way of making villains look like heroes depending on the perspective.

Clara felt the surge of memories remind her of the life she knew before the one she was in now. She didn’t know how long she had stood in front of that particular case with that particular diamond and crown but by the time her feet began to ache she knew it had been long enough. Clara also wasn’t sure how long a small English girl had been standing next to her, also staring at the silver diamond encrusted crown and the plaque underneath it.

“You know, she’s kind of a rebel and I dig it. It reminds me of Princess Margaret in a way. She was Queen Elizabeth’s sister and she partied a lot too.”

“Excuse me?”

“Vivienne. She was a rebel in her own right and I admire her for it.” The woman turned, her face meeting the girl taking notes on a piece of paper. The girl couldn’t have been more than thirteen and certainly had a bold personality if she was talking to someone she didn’t know.

“The revolutionaries didn’t see it that way, so why would you?”

“She was independent. I think it was progressive and cool for her not to follow the rules of her family. Not to mention the glamour in her style. She had the best dresses and crowns since well, Marie Antoinette probably.”

“That’s a little naïve, no?” The woman raised her brow at the student but the girl simply shrugged. The young one looked at the older woman and analyzed her face and features as she spoke.

“She spent the people’s money like water and saw no problem with the poverty in the streets. Vivienne was oblivious to the world around her because she lived in a world of riches with everyone at her disposal.”

“Perhaps.” The girl paused before continuing. “There’s a tv show about her on... um-I don’t remember- HBO maybe and they say she took a commoner for a lover and he sold her secrets to the revolutionaries which led to her death. Her body disappeared after the broke into the castle and people think they threw her body in the Seine.”

“I would advise you to stop watching whatever movies are giving you that perspective on the issue because it’s not true.” Clara scoffed and turned away from the girl.

The girl listened but was too entranced by the figure in front of her eyes. Brown hair, medium length, waved. She looked nice to say the least. She had on pretty clothes and may have been an employee because she knew so much but the girl wasn’t sure. All the student was certain of was that the woman standing in front of her looked very much like the Duchess in the paintings that lined the modern wing.

“You look like her.” The girl told her and she put her pencil down holding the pad of paper at her side. Before she had a chance to answer the girl, a teacher called out to the students as a signal to leave and the girl picked up her bag.

“Have a nice day.”

The girl left with the class and the woman stayed in front of the case watching them leave the room before turning back to the crown that once adorned her own head. A soft rumble came from her pocket and she pulled out the burner phone with a number she didn’t recognize but an area code she did, Goussainville.

France, safe house #4

“Hello?”

“Clara.” The Italian on the other line sounded relieved that she simply picked up the phone. Clara’s face contorted into one of worry than one of happiness she had been called.

“Nicolo, s’il tu plaît dites-moi que tout va bien?” Clara moved over to a window, away from the crowds to answer the call she had been anticipating for the last day. She dreamt of a black girl and her throat being sliced open. Waking up gasping for breath that wasn’t her own and cautious of who it might be.

“No-no. Il y en a un nouveau ... mais ce n'est pas le problème. les gens essaient de nous trouver et Dieu sait quoi.” Nicky told her and Clara felt helpless, disappointed in herself that she wasn’t there to help them. Not only was there someone new who needed guidance but the others needed her too if they were going to protect their own skin.

“Andy went to get her. We are at the safe house in Goussainville and they should be here later today. If you can make it... we really need you, Clara.” Clara sighed and looked out the window that faced the vast gardens the palace was surrounded by. Serenity before the inevitable storm.

“He’d kill me if he knew I’m telling you this but Booker needs you. It’s getting worse since the last time he saw you and I am not sure what to do.”

“That was three weeks ago, Nicky.”

“I can’t explain it... it’s just gotten worse. I know he has to help himself but he’s always a bit brighter when you’re around.”

“I can be there later tonight. What time are they getting in?”

“7.”

“I can be there at 8. I’m in France so I’ll take a train as soon as I can.”

“We will be waiting.” Nicky told her and she hung up the phone. Clara looked back at that glimmering crown and what the young girl said about the Duchess. Naïvety at its finest.

At the safe house in Gousssainville, the three immortal men unpacked the bag they brought and washed up after the ambush in Afghanistan. Nicky stood alongside the small counter space prepping dinner when Booker came to fill a cup with wine.

“Who was on the phone?” Booker asked in a low grumble and Nicky set down the knife he was using to slice tomatoes.

“It was Clara. I called her and told her we needed her here. She dreamt of the girl too.”

“And?” Booker pushed further and downed his glass in an instant upon the news.

“She could catch a train to be here at 8.”

“How did she sound?”

“Worried.”

Booker nodded and filled his glass again before going to sit in front of the tv in a chair he had designated as his own many years ago. Nicky watched as he sat, drank more and tried to remove himself from his thoughts but was too lost to do so. He was observant and cared deeply for the others in his life but there was only so much he could do for a man as stubborn as Booker.

“Hai bisogno di aiuto?” Joe called out to Nicky from everyone’s shared bedroom before also joining the two in the common space. Nicky shook his head and glanced at Booker who wasn’t looking but certainly listening.

“I called Clara. She is on her way to us now. She knows we are in trouble.” Joe smiled at Nicky and gave him a quick peck. While they were all very close, Joe and Nicky had taken Clara under their wings and helped her acclimate to the world as an immortal, especially after they found her and the two french immortals clashed. 

“It’s been too long. I miss that woman.”

“We all do.” Nicky said before returning to his meal. Without much time having gone by, the door to the cemetery sounded and Andy walked through the door with a nervous woman behind them. The girl was young, no more than 25 and had blood stained on her forehead. One hand was clutching her arm but out of nervousness not injury. Her eyes looked at the three men. Two sat staring at her in chairs and the other by the refrigerator and the only sound that played was the cheering of fans from a football match that played on the widescreen. Andy looked over her shoulder and then back again, breaking the silence to introduce the newest member of The Old Guard.  

“Everyone, this is Nile.”

--------------------------------------------

Tag List: (Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for the next part!) 

@holychocopie 

[transgenderstreetlegend]

@rushpartyofcanada tagged me so I will try even though I do not know if I will be able to come up with 13!

rules: list 13 songs you're currently vibing with, or favorite songs!

1. Holy Moment by WOW OK

This is one of me & my partner’s main Songs. Nearly every fucking line applies to our relationship so well. It’s such a happy, hopeful song and it makes me so emotional. It was the first song they played when we got in the car after they picked me up from the airport, and I commissioned a @snazzystarlight painting of the song for them, and it’s on the wall above their bed now :)))

2. there is a place for you here. by Left At London

This song makes me fucking CRY. It’s about a fucking CAT. NAT’S CAT TÍMIDO. BABY BOY. BEAUTIFUL. It’s about how taking care of her cat who’d been abused before helped her to feel more hopeful in her own life and about how they’re going to make it through together. It’s such a fucking beautiful song. GOD. And it reminds me of being at my partner’s house too bc I was there with them when I first heard it and when I found out it was about her cat. I listened to it at work today and just wished that instead of being at work I could be laying on my partner’s bed blasting this through their speaker, crying and staring at the ceiling. Damn

3. Michelle by Sir Chloe

This song, despite not actually specifying what exactly makes Michelle a monster from hell, is sung in a way that is very vibey and sexy and I enjoy singing along to it.

4. Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny ft. Tegan and Sara

“But when she loves me, I feel like I’m floating.” That’s me with my partner so much. The og version of this song without T&S uses he/him pronouns throughout, but this one uses she/her in the second chorus and they/them in the third, which is why I prefer this one since I am dating a she/they.

5. Ohio River by Caroline Says

This song is basically a meme in our friend group now because I made it @coolthxmcdoom’s nickname in the meetup planning server because their name is Caroline and they live in Ohio, but before I introduced it to the friend group it was just an extremely vibey song that came up on my local college’s radio station and I should probably smoke weed to it at some point. And now that it’s also relevant to the meetup memories, it has added significance to me.

6. idolize by Ace Smith

Ace Smith is my good friend! I heard a short clip of this song probably a year or so ago, or something like that, when it was unfinished, and thought “ooh this is cool I can’t wait for the full release.” It’s released now! It’s def Ace’s best song, both in my opinion and in Ace’s. Makes me really emotional, I highly recommend it. Please listen to my friend’s music y’all he puts so much work into it and it’s so well made I have so much love and respect for this person it’s insane

7. peace by Taylor Swift

This is another song where every line just punches me in the fuckin chest. Gets me in the fuckin insecurity. Perfectly puts into words feelings that I struggle to convey. I feel so seen.

8. New Year’s Day by Taylor Swift

I made a slight reference to it in a song I recently wrote.

9. anthems by Charli XCX

Another song that Jax played a lot in the car during my trip. They told me then that when they were first crushing on me, this song reminded them of me. I’d never known that before. Now every time I listen to it or it gets stuck in my head I think of this moment in the car when they were singing along to it and I happened to take the selfie at the exact moment they pointed at me at the line “wanna wake up with you.”

10. forever by Charli XCX

This is yet another song that I heavily associate with Jax, and have from the start of our relationship because they put it on the playlist they made me, and it’s always made me cry.

11. Divine by Jordana

This song is so catchy. I’m not fully sure how it’s supposed to be interpreted and rn I’m a bit too high to do too much analysis but regardless I vibe with it. And I like her vocals.

12. i hope she loves me back by boy pablo

This is another one that I found from my college radio station. It’s sort of corny but in a cute way, and the sound is really cool. I like it. I listened to some more of boy pablo’s music because of it, and he seems to have a very soft sorta vibe/aesthetic that I really like.

13. If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

This guy has the same last name as some people in my family and is from my state! I haven’t looked up if there’s a relation, but I wouldn’t discount the possibility. This song is really pretty I can’t think of anything else to say about it I haven’t listened in a bit

BONUS IM DOING A #14. (FOREVER!!!!!!!!!) [WOW OK Remix] by glass beach

God i love WOW OK. I know they’ve only got two releases out but I love Holidaykiss and i love Left At London and i LOVE how their skills combine together. I can’t wait for more from these two.

—

So as it turns out, I’m very gay.

I don’t know who is and isn’t comfortable being tagged in tag games, so if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[thefemalehustler]

#PRFOCUS INTERVIEW: BRIANNA DEMAYO (EXCLUSIVE PUBLIC)

Hey Brianna, thank you for taking the time to speak with ‘The Female Hustler’.

You’re based in Philadelphia, are you from there originally? If not where are you from and what was your first role within the music industry?

Yup I’m born and raised in Philly. My first role in music was on the creative side. I was singing in a group when I was little (from 9 years old until I was about 17) and doing a bunch of performances all over the tri-state area (before social media). But then I didn’t get into the business side until about 5 years ago maybe, and I never had a specific role. I started writing articles and giving knowledge, which lead into consulting and throwing networking events/music showcases, which lead to be working with artists and then the publicist role came about.

What made you decide to become a publicist?

I didn’t decide to become one lol. Honestly people just started calling me a publicist, so I looked more into what a publicist actually does and I fit the mold lol. I still don’t like to label myself as a publicist though - I don’t like titles or labels. I just like to do what needs to be done to get the job done. Sometimes that’s playing the publicist role, sometimes that’s playing the consultant role, sometimes I’m the artist developer, other times I’m the digital marketer - whatever needs to get done. All of those things are related anyway.

Tell us about your company Exclusive Public, how did you get started?

To answer the “how did you get started” question, my answer is I got started. And what I mean by that is, I didn’t plan to have the company - I started doing what I love and the clients came naturally - so eventually it just made sense for me to make it “official” and create the brand. But it really all started from me writing articles that teach about the music industry and showing artists how to market themselves. My articles started getting picked up by some major sites and I even started blogging a bit, then miraculously I connected with Wendy Day (whom I really look up to) and I told her that I wanted to start a company and I wanted to do it the right way and offer the right services, so she looked over my services for me and she was the first person to see my website before it launched.

What challenges did you face starting up your own company from scratch and how did you overcome them?

When I started the company I still had a full time job selling/leasing real estate in Philly. So at first, it was time that was the challenge. Until eventually I started taking a day off of my full time job every week to focus on really launching my company and because I was taking off once a week I ended up getting fired from my full time job (lol) - so then my challenge was “how the hell do I keep my rent paid now that I’m fired?” lol but instead of looking for another job, I did my best to solidify a few long term clients. Because of my articles, I was already getting a pretty constant stream of people reaching out wanting to know how I can help them, so I just ran with it and started taking meetings with EVERYONE. I think working in real estate helped me a lot because I was used to mainly working for commission (meaning I didn’t have a pay check to rely on, my checks were based on how many houses and condos I leased) but it was still scary working for myself and not having someone telling me what I need to do. And now I face different challenges. Now I’m creating systems so everything runs even more smoothly and I’m always searching for ways to help my clients on an even deeper level as well as creating something that will get me some residual income. So there will always be challenges, it’s all in staying positive and being confident that you can get through it.

What advice would you give to anyone looking to start their own PR company like yourself?

Do a shit ton of research about PR and about whatever industry you’re looking to be in (for instance, the music industry if you’re looking to be a music publicist). Also, find a mentor (or a few) even if it’s an “unofficial” mentor - just find a few people to look up to and offer to help them work on some projects so that you can learn as much as you can and get some experience under your belt. Don’t focus so much on making money at first - go for the experience and opportunities. The PR world is always evolving - there’s always some new technology or some new social network that appears and then you have to learn how to adjust and use those new strategies for your own clients. So just learn as much as you can before anything.

Who are some of your clients under Exclusive Public?

There’s a pretty long list of clients from over the years - most recently Chase N. Cashe, Bahamadia, and EMPIRE signee, Kstylis. I did some work with Kandy Apple Redd (George Clinton’s granddaughters), New York buzzing artist China Mac plus two of my favourite indie artists from Philly, Marv Mack and Joie Kathos. I like working with indies, I have no desire to work with Beyonce lol.

What main 5 things do you expect an artist to have in place when they come to you requesting PR?

● Interactions on their social media accounts - I need to see that they are already getting some traction ● A story/a great bio - there’s gotta be something interesting about them that we can pitch ● Good (marketable) music (if I don’t like the music, it’s harder for me to pitch, which makes my job harder and it’s not fun) ● Professional brand - they should look professional from the outside looking in (in other words, if I research you, you should have social networks with your artist name, professional press photos and hopefully a website) ● A budget to invest for things outside of PR (like advertising etc,) to make sure that you’re not solely relying on PR to do things that you also need to be doing (like posting to social media consistently, performing etc.)

Artists expectations of a publicist's role sometimes get confused, in your opinion for those who may be reading this wondering what a music publicist actually does or whether they need one, what is the definition of a publicist and their main role?

There’s many definitions out there, but mainly public relations is exactly what it means - relationships with the public - our job is to make sure that you’re being presented the way you want to be perceived. From pitching news stories to the press, to keeping your bio and press materials up to date, to working with you to develop release dates and the overall marketing strategy - a publicist wears many hats.

How much time is needed for a successful PR Campaign?

That really depends on the client’s goals but typically lets say if an artist wants to hire a PR company to promote their upcoming project release, they should reach out at least two months in advance (maybe even 3-4 months in advance) because it takes time to secure press and get everything prepared.

What would you say has been your biggest and most successful campaign so far?

If we’re talking about the campaign with the most reach - I think that would be the campaign I did for Marv Mack’s “Own Crib” video or for China Mac’s “Going Down” video with Dave East. The Marv Mack release meant a lot to me because he doesn’t have much of an audience, but we got some really great love on the strength of the quality of the video (and of course my networking skills lol). We premiered it on All Def Digital, (shoutout to @blamethelabel) and then The Source did a full write up on it (much love to my homie KC Orcutt), and HipHopDX did a full interview on him too (shoutout to Ural Garrett) - everyone was sharing the video - it was just great to see them supporting an artist that couldn’t really get them many clicks. Even Russell Simmons liked the video on Facebook which was pretty awesome.

Are there any artists you would love to have as a client?

I haven’t thought about this much, but now that I think of it, it would be cool to work with Snow Tha Product, I support her vision and I think she’s underrated. I’m sure there’s more, I would have to think about it lol

You also have your own music website Taste Creators, tell us about that?

When I originally came up with the name I wasn’t even thinking about launching a music blog. Taste Creators was originally going to be a writing and production team, but after some heavy thought it made sense to start with the outlet. I didn’t think the domain name would be available actually but when it was I was excited. So TasteCreators.com came about because I was tired of artists being charged to get their music posted, and I was fed up with how watered down the blog world was getting as far as clickbait and only wanting to post shit that was already on Billboard so I wanted to fill that void and create a site that focused solely on indie artists and was very picky with what’s posted and without all the gossip and clickbait, so BOOM taste creators came about lol. There’s actually a few parts to Taste Creators - there’s the mind-set, the outlet and the collective. The mind-set has to do with what a taste creator stands for - everyone has their own definition of it (and they are all right) but basically it’s someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves (or be the first one to do or co-sign something). The outlet, is TasteCreators.com obviously lol and the collective is our team of creative individuals that works out of the Taste Creators office in Philly.

Finally what would you consider the most important thing an artist needs to be aware of before hiring a Publicist?

I’d say they have to understand that 1. It’s more than just pitching your music to blogs 2. It’s an investment - they should be aware of price ranges of PR (do their research). And 3. they should also be aware that press isn’t guaranteed - even if you have a decent following, there are many factors that go into getting press. That’s why I’m very picky with who I take on as a client and I also focus more on getting more engagement from their fan base instead of just pitching for press.

Make sure you follow Brianna on Twitter and IG: @Breezyb215

Taste Creators @TasteCreators

Exclusive Public @ExclusivePublic

TasteCreators.com

ExclusivePublic.com

[sweetredcherryblossomtree]

I’ve grown up all my life listening to my mother speaking Portuguese and I still can’t differeniate between it and Italian 

I’ve even taken classes (though I didn’t do particularly amazing, I did pass as an average student). I just...the two are so close. My mom used to tell me that Brazilians and Italians could speak to each other in their native tongue and still understand what the other is saying, that’s how close they are. 

Now, I can definitely differeniate when someone is speaking Vietnamese. Half the time, I can tell through the tone of voice and the accentuation of certain vowels. I don’t usually have a clue what they are saying, but I can at least point them out in a crowd. Also, you average Viet woman has a particular way of dressing or style that I’ve been used to seeing all my life.

I love my mom. She is...full is issues though. LIke all weekend I had to ignore her comments on the lifestyle of gay people and it’s just...nerve racking. Also, she listens to the definition of fake news, christian style of course and I just can’t believe she’d fall for things like that but I think it’s because over time, I’ve taken so much influence from my majors that encourage you to be skeptical of everything that isn’t properly sourced or evidenced fairly. She keeps talking about this second government and then told me to pray for Trump because God is trying to help him lead the country and that he was a man of God and honestly, that’s when I snapped. Because honestly, Trump is probably one of the few people to ever exist that I actually hate. Like full on, hate. I wouldn’t wish death upon him or anything, but dear lord, I wish he would just enjoy his wealth outside of the world of politics and that millions of Americans weren’t stupid enough to have voted for him. I told my mom off, and I feel kind of horrible for it but I just....I’ll pray for him, but that either he’ll suddenly care about humanity or will suddenly get impeached.

One of my customers at work also told me to make sure I was saved because God was planning to kill of the population of nonbelievers again, that’s why Texas was flooded. I just replied that the rapture is sure to happen soon (a lie, we have no fucking idea when the rapture is to happen, maybe it already has and that’s why we all live in this eternal hell). She went on about it though, how God wasn’t going to flood us all again but he is def sending a big message to Texas. My mom kind of believes the same and keeps bringing up why Noah had to build an ark. Not because of gay people but because the world was starting to accept them and I’m just :|

Like, I can’t tell her off every single damned time. I just tell her that my opinions differ and that’s that. 

Also, so I work in the shoe department. It’s...insane. Insane. Insane. I’ve never done direct sales before. But I have commission and that’s cool. However, I’ve realized that shopping addictions are an issue for older woman, and it’s crazy. Our clearance section is like a magnet for older church going woman and we have shoes that I’ve learned to show this demographic because they’re more likely to be in love with them. I had one lady buy 5 diff shoes in a variety of sizes (two I was sure wouldn’t even fit) because she wanted them all for herself and I can’t wrap my head around why this was necessary. Like, it’s not in my right to judge what people buy but I’ve been working in this store for 3 weeks and I already can recognize the regulars. Women who just use our company credit card often because they need a new shoe for every event ever.

Also, Oz is out and he’s cute and I’m kind of drunk.

I accidentally ate imitation crab which was against my “diet” so I have to start over so now I’m taking a few days to eat what I’ve been wanting to eat before I start again for another month and honestly, I’m disappointed. I’ve been craving cookies and sweets and honestly, I’m not impressed. Also, I can’t eat as much as I used to (which I guess is good but weird). I’m starting back on the whole30 tomorrowish but honestly, cookies aren’t as good as I have been making them out to be and I found out that I now hate soda. I bought coke today and omg, I can not stand it. BUT I FOUND GHEE AT HARRIS TEETER SO THAT WAS COOL. Meaning I have butter that I can eat when I start tomorrow!!!! Also, sugar makes me tired and groggy so that explains my existence. Minus my depression, my body has been feeling so much better doing the whole30 to the point that I think I want to continue doing it...for ever even. Like, I’ll take breaks during holidays to enjoy good foods or to hang out in good company but I think I want to adapt my life completely to doing it as often as I can. I don’t miss as much as I thought I would. I don’t miss milk. I don’t miss cheese. I don’t miss sugar really or bread. I don’t miss corn like I though. I think I miss pizza a bit. but like...amazing. These two days not doing it have made me realized that I prefer the foods I’ve been eating for the past few months better. I wish I could convince Zach to join me, but I don’t think he can give up his coke or ceral for it. At least, Oz can enjoy the veggies with me though. 

Also, I may get a pet mouse? I fell in love with one recently and I’ve been looking up materials, they’re fairly cheap but it would be fun. Like, I’d keep the cage in  my room and make a little playground for them and get them little balls and it’d be fun. Of course, I’ll only get one once I’m more financially stable which should be in a month when my schedule adopts into the system and I pulli in full time hours, just in time for the holiday season ((((: I’m terrified of black friday. For reference, I’ll be working at Macy’s. MACY’S. Labor day weekend alone made me consider dying at work. People are awful. Just awful. 

FYI If you see a sales employee caring a ton of shoes for other customers in their arms, wait. Just wait. Don’t shove more shoes into my hand and ask me to find your size until I’m done. Also, when shoe shopping, ask an associate to find one shoe at a time. Don’t hand them several pairs and then get mad when it takes them so long because I’m sorry, I’m trying to juggle 7 boxes of shoes to get to you. Try to keep asking for shoes at two pairs at a time. Try one those pairs, give the associate what you don’t like, and then tell them what you would like to see next. All at once does not help your cause. 

Also, like other stores, we are asking for donations by rounding up your total to the nearest dollar. The donations go the Harvey victims in Texas and I can’t believe how some people absolutely want nothing to do with it. Like a woman today only had to give a penny. .01 cent. That’s all, and she said “Oh, NO no no.” It’s a fucking penny that you probably have in your purse that will never see the light of day. I have had several customers that get all upset over a couple a cents or small pocket change. Like, they’re buying a pair of expensive-ass brand name shoes yet they don’t want to donate 25 cents for people who have lost absolutely everything. It disgusts me completely. It’s a couple of cents and even totals are satisfying so like????? I question it so much honestly. I’m the type of person that when a prompt on the register asks if I want to donate to something, I’ll at least give a dollar. I can afford a dollar to give if anything. It makes me want to scream. The whole situation in texas depresses me and they need everything they can because so many people have suddenly been uprooted and I can’t even imagine the chaos. 

[fleabite531]

JVP Netanyahu demo and Official New Friend

Wednesday. Chilled day with Y. He was working from home. I was lazing about and got snuggles during his breaks. Then I headed into SF for Jewish Voice for Peace (JVP) demo protesting Trump’s meeting that day with Netanyahu and their shared values of racism, wall-building and hate-mongering. Was cool to be with other Jewish progressives, though a little disappointed there was only about 40-50 there. It was a 2 hour demo and I was only there for last bit so there might have been more attending in total as folks were coming and going. I liked the connection between zionism and to USA rhetoric and policies on migration and borders, which was expressed in chants and handmade placards.

After the demo a couple of Bay Area friends I had originally connected with from Gaza (from my trip in 2003) met me and I really enjoyed how easy and grounded in affection these relationships are. Partly I think it might be that usa (partic west coast?) culture is more emotionally demonstrative anyway, so i might just be experiencing that and feeling it as “ooo these people like me, its safe for me to open up to them too”. But regardless I’m starting to really value these other reasons for being in bay area besides Y, and this works well as both Y and I like spending time with other people too when we’re together.

I had this waffle/diner food craving, and as this was my last opportunity for it for a while, we headed to Mel’s. Mel’s is both fun, and cliched/OTT, but I’m a tourist and I kinda enjoy the OTT so I love sitting in a Happy Days set! We even used the booth side jukebox! Excitingly someone joined us who I’ve only before met with when I’ve been also meeting her partner who is an old friend of mine. We both agreed that meeting without him made us now Official Friends. She was also excited to be in SF itself, as she does the common Easy Bay resident thing of hardly ever coming over into the city.

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Waffley goodness. And hell yes did I add the extra butter as well as the warmed maple syrup!

Official Friends! And both excited by our food!

Y joined us, and then a bit later New Official Friend, Y and I decided to go for Mexican food in the Mission – hey its my last night! I’m totes allowed 2 suppers! Then we went for a wander and ended up at the top of Dolores Park enjoying the view over the city before grabbing Indian deserts on our way to the last BART back to the East Bay. For I still needed to pack and then get up at 6am for my flight home!

Bus ticket drama

At SFO I was probably over excited by the TSA dog – so cute, though it looked pretty skinny. Luckily the excitement was not reciprocated so I got through security uneventfully, though the same was not true about getting from Edinburgh airport back to Glasgow…

So I’d managed to lose my purse containing my return bus ticket and debit card at Reykjavik airport on the way out. Pop quiz: a) I did the responsible thing and phoned lost property about it as soon as i realised, or b) I procrastinated making the scary phone call and then decided I’d just see them when I transited on my way back home only to find out that the lost property office was only open at 8:30am, was after my 4am-7am transit time? Ooops! Of course I had a chain of backup plans in case my purse wasn’t even in the airport:

1) pick up return bus ticket with bank card in iceland. 2) use debit card stored in chrome to buy bus ticket online and choose sms ticket option 3) use Y’s credit card to buy bus ticket online 4) convert $20 at edin airport (and take on chin the double commission whammy of both converting a small amount and an airport booth – I just need £11:60 for the bus ticket…) 5) once am in uk and time is more respectable (i landed 9am) start calling round friends to either buy me a bus ticket online / rescue me from airport 6) hitchhike – lots of Glasgow folks use Edinburgh airport and I was due to land at peak time (9am)

Ok, fine, so I couldn’t get my bus ticket or debit card… i just drop to option 2. After all I’ve used my card online so often I never even have to look at the CVC anymore. It turns out that my memory of that 3 digits is perfect unless its 5am and I’m on dodgy airport wifi with no way to just look at the back of the goddamned card! Fine, I’ll use Y’s credit card – he’d given me one that was about to expire anyway in case options 1 or 2 fell through. Except it turns out the citylink website doesn’t accept non uk billing addresses. Argh! More time passes and I’m like, bugger this, I need coffee[0] and then realised i could get citylink tickets on megabus website too. So off I go but now I’m struggling with the verified by visa password and Y is busy.

However the coffee was def working – some more googling and it turns out you can buy bus tickets at edinburgh airport’s tourist information booth! They’re bound to accept card payments, and Y’s given me his pin so i’m sorted! There are buses at 9:30 and 10:00 and I’m desperate to just get to my own bed by this time.

[09:00] Luckily our flight lands a bit early and I race through immigration and to the booth (in post coffee alertness at Reykjavik I’d pre-memorised the route from the online airport map)

[09:15] Possibly over sharing I tell the v friendly “welcome to scotland” person that i’ve just arrived back from travel abroad and so don’t have cash yet and so want to buy the bus ticket using my credit card and am hoping to make the 09:30 bus. She says she’s going to make sure she can give me the ticket before taking my money and then has to boot the computer an go through the complex online system. “I don’t think we have to waste time filling in your phone number and email address. I’ll just tick that you refused to give them to me”

[09:18] The printer is jammed and after several minutes she gives up trying to fix the feed and goes to another machine which thank the universe spits out the ticket.

[09:23] I put Y’s credit card into their card reader, but instead of asking for the pin, it says “payment accepted. signature required” and directs me to remove the card. So she prints the receipt and asks me to sign it. I squiggle “Praveen Kumar”[1] and hand it back.

[09:24] She flicks over the card (d’oh! of course she was going to do that! i’d forgotten that was even a thing. when was last time you signed for a card payment???) and the signature panel is blank… “Do you have any other ID with you?” Me, feigning calmness but running lateness “Oh no, I don’t have an other ID with me!”

Lets recap : 1) I’ve told her I’ve just landed off an international flight. 2) As far as she’s concerned she’s addressing a white female with an English accent. 3) The card is for an American bank with an Indian male name.

“Well I think you’ve been kept waiting long enough trying to get it printed. Turn right and then right again to get to the bus stop”

I LOVE BEING BACK IN SCOTLAND!!!! And I am very appreciative that I have bucketloads of white privilege which I am benefitting from – doubt this would have been so easy had Praveen Kumar been trying to use a card with a white chick’s name on :(

Friday – Spontaneous outing to The Lost Boys at amusement park

I arrived home at about 11am. Obviously first thing I did was put the kettle on. Ah tea, now things seem more reasonable. Ok, so I’ve had maybe 6 hours sleep since Wednesday, and I should probably change my clothes, but all I need to do today is stay awake til 8ish, go to the bank to get cash out across the counter, and get a few groceries in for the weekend. Then I’ll sleep like a baby and wake up some time tomorrow, go to the LGBTQ boxing club, and my timezone should be all fixed ready for 12 hour shift on Sunday. By 4:30pm I’ve done bank and shop chores and have cash and am planning a quiet evening and then sleeeeeeeep.

And then, this being Glasgow, a friend invites me to a Glasgow Film Festival screening of The Lost Boys in a secret location, buses leaving from the GFT in 90 mins. So much for the early night plan! Accompanied by motorbikes revelling as they rev their engines to full blast we are transported to M&Ds amusement park. We bump into another friend and play on the rides opened up specially for the occasion, the park packed with excited adults in vampire/hunter dress-up squirting holy-water-pistols at each other on the big wheel and maximal audience participation through a favourite teenage movie. Much glee!

Walking home from the bus, much sleep deprived but very content with how lucky I am to come back to Glasgow, where being “cool” means showing your exuberance, participating to the max. Not sneering, but rather thrilling at and cheering on others’ dorkiness and throwing themselves into the spirit of whatever hijinks is going on.

    eg from http://www.medizeninc.com/index.php/menu/

[0] food and drink seems to feature a lot in today’s blog… To add more, as wow air doesn’t give any food on the flight I’d packed another really good picnic; hard boiled eggs, oranges, humus and veg wrap (didn’t taste good on the flight though – i know taste buds are supposed to be different on flights), smoked tofu and jerky. This time didn’t have the conveniently under 100mls water-tight containers i had last time, and the liquor store seemed confused about why i’d want a *small* bottle of alcohol (merkans and their super-sizing!) so decided to buy booze in duty-free as obvs you can carry that onto the plane. Except then I realised once aboard that i wasn’t sure if i’d be allowed to carry it onto my second flight if i took it out of the heat sealed duty free bag and opened it. so i relied on snoozing and copious pre downloaded star trek to get me through instead. I’d turned down a pal’s offer of a “medicated” jelly bean which given the TSA doggie (such cute eyes!) was lucky!

[1] Name changed to another Indian male name for privacy reasons.

Homecoming – Last day in SF bay area (JVP netanyahu demo, and /official/ new friend). Bus ticket drama. Glasgow returning – spontaneous outing to The Lost Boys at amusement park. JVP Netanyahu demo and Official New Friend Wednesday. Chilled day with Y. He was working from home.